#and all the old ladies are her besties
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autobahnmp3 · 1 year ago
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honestly ut was so funny how the woman training me just casually mentioned to me what she thinks of the customers alfjslh
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discjude · 6 months ago
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whatever afterlife exists in SGE must be the funniest shit ever imagine being some Jaunt Jolie peasant who gets a little too in the way of the Snake and dying only to see The Literal School Master cheering the Snake on. Imagine dying of like cholera or something and taking a little Ghost Vacation to Camelot and seeing the King of Camelot - who's dead, apparently - beating the shit out of some random other boy with weird eyes. imagine how flesh and blood went down. Do you think they all had popcorn for that
#I've noticed I have a pattern of putting a vast majority of what I have to say in the tags. and im doing it again#first of all I'm pretty sure there's confirmation that there is some sort of afterlife in SGE#in the chapter Dovey dies there's a brief appearance from ghost lady lesso#and in F+B there's a tedros line “the only place scum like that can be king is in hell”#which is immediately followed by the coldest japeth line I can remember but this aint about him#second of all this is largely an assumption but there's reasonable evidence to support the fact that Rafal was actually on Japeth's side#given that he wanted him to kill Sophie (I think) or just punish her a bit for killing him#it's actually left intentionally vague as to whether or not ARIC was on Japeth's side#in F+B tedros' version of Aric isn't and says that he a) wants nothing to do with Camelot (or Rhian)#and b) didn't want japeth to kill like thousands of people for him#so we really just. don't know#what I would also say is the fact that the prequels characters and the main series characters probably had some DEEP conversations#do you think the old Saders and the new Saders argued about who saw it coming first#or vulcan and Aric were besties (many areas of common interest. violence comes to mind)#I would kill for a version of one true king where there's just annotations from the ghosts#someone should write a fic or something#god that's a lot of tags#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#japethposting#sfgae#this was a draft if you couldn't tell
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doginprogress · 3 months ago
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Azula and Spork bein’ besties at the ball field
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thewingedwolf · 3 months ago
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i re-came out at work in order to like, subtly remind people to use they/theirs and immediately got she/her-ed by a coworker
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skenpiel · 1 year ago
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JIMMY WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! worlds worst lawyer has done a Lot of shady things but bullying sweet old ladies and manipulating all her friends to hate her and alienate her That is a new low even for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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socksandbuttons · 1 year ago
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Eventually ill remember to share my traditional doodles from my sketchbook again cause um
I just wfound the cutest lunar in there
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thedeadthree · 2 years ago
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THE PRIMROSE OF PEARLSPIRE — LADY ALVA AMARANTHINE (ASOIAF)
praying for love, paying in naivety.
{TEMPLATE by the dear @unholymilf ♡ | ICONS}
#oc: alva amaranthine#lit: a song of ice and fire#asoiaf oc#a song of ice and fire oc#game of thrones oc#got oc#the dear girl has been the beholder of the braincell all week so i sacrificed sleep for her akdjkan <3 anything for the dear girlie!#a post dance roberts rebellion dearie !#one of these days i need to make pieces for the original houses !#her house claims trace ancestry of old valyria though the amaranthine have eyes of a pink shade!#a veer off from the violet eyes of their fellow valyrian counterparts <3#they're poets and artists! singers and actors/actresses! the arts is in their blood! romantics is the essence of their house <3#and like the bards in d*ragon a*ge their bards act as equal parts artist AND spy <3#their seat is in the stormlands! the amaranthines of the pearlspire is said to steal the kind weather of the stormlands hehe <3#excited to develop how the house fared in the dancee! they DID lose their only dragon in the midst :')#but! i am thinking one of the surviving dragons of my dragonrider dears from the dance bonds to her! nahviintaas maybe?#like calla's baby? a noble wyrm fit for the loveliest soul in all of westeros <3#SHE IS THE ONE WHO RAISED BABY DEAR R*HAENYS BC ELIAS BABIES ALL SURVIVE HEREE <3 its only right!#im thinking maaybe? she was one of her ladies in waiting? and alva and she were besties <3#e*lia wanted to marry enyas dad rhaemion but he was to marry sylvenna yronwood. and alva and was and still was the lover of ->#a particular name that not at ALL rhymes with whaegar <3 THE TRAGEDY THE LOVES IM HURTING FOR HER ALVAA BABYY <3#(and also rhaemion? bc like.. beloved taken from him the what could have beens if he had married her would she still be here u know?)#and the same for alva? like if a*erys HAD let them wed would he be alive? im on the floor SOBBING hehe <3#leg.edit#leg.ocs#*ocedit#*myedits#🍯: ash#unholymilf#TY TY DEARIEE FOR CREATING THIS LOVELIEST TEMPLATE THAT WAS THE CUTEEST TO USE! i can't wait to make more dears with it!
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rachiller · 1 year ago
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I actually had such a peaceful Tuesday off. Like, yes I didn’t get out of bed until like 2 & shower until 4 but I took it easy and didn’t put any pressure on myself and just like. Breathed and it was calm and I felt peaceful and just took time to be a quiet little slug.
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fingertipsmp3 · 8 months ago
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If some idiot at the doctor’s gave me a cold right before I’m supposed to start my new job I swear I’m going to launch myself into space
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arolesbianism · 1 year ago
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It's so sad that I have some stories I don't talk abt on here because I wanna keep them in the "I might do smth with them" vault. Y'all would love Barry B. Barry, rip
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jyoongim · 9 months ago
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You have so graciously written multiple of my asks 🫶🏻🫶🏻 thank you for doing them justice!!! 👁️👅👁️
I’m living for the alastor with cannibal reader!
What about the gang at the hotel sees alastor with a pretty new thing around his arm and she is just !!!!stunning!!! Like dark elegant (yet terrifying) grace. And everyone is like ????how did this old ass radio demon pull someone like you???
But they realize exactly why they fit so perfect when she kills someone (maybe defending the hotel) and just munches down on their corpse crazy style. Turning around, blood on their face, in their teeth with a wide smile like “I helped!!!” And then it clicks that she’s also a cannibal like him.
Everyone is all grossed out by it but Al thinks she has never looked prettier all covered in blood from her kill and meal. He even Wipes her face for her 😗😗😗
IM HAPPY THAT I HAVE DONE SO MANY OF YOUR REQUESTS AND YOU ENJOYED THEM!!!! I hope that i did this one justice.
Truly there was no way.
Their eyes HAD to be deceiving them.
Alastor had left the hotel to go on one of his outings but the gang was just too curious as to where the Overlord was going.
So like the mischievous nosy bunch they were; they followed him.
They followed him to a lovely restaurant and watched in shock as the waiter seated Alastor and the most beautiful demon they had ever seen.
Truly there was no way.
There was no way that ALASTOR was chatting up such a beautiful dame and NOT being creepy.
They watched from afar as Alastor pulled out a small box, presumingly a gift, and give you a genuine smile as you gawked and playfully glared at him before accepting it with a soft smile.
You were stunning!
 You must have died from an earlier time period as you were dressed in very modest attire.
A puffy white blouse tucked into a long black skirt, waist tapered by a corset to show off your curves. 
Your neck and ears wore pearls and your hair was curled and pinned up.
The epitome of grace and elegance. 
How the hell did that old fossil bag you???
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”Oh Alastor! You didn’t have to!” You gasped as he presented a small gift box to you.
The red charmer demon smiled as you opened the box to see he had got you some customized jewelry.
The Radio Demon had been courting you for a while.
Sending you flowers and taking you out on several outings throughout the Pride Ring.
It took you a while to warm up to him, but he did have a way with persuasion Rosie told you he was a great guy and your bestie would never lie. Plus Alastor had been asking her about you
“Oh it was nothing my dear! A beautiful lady should have beautiful things. I thought it would compliment that new dress you got” Ah what a charmer.
As the two of you chatted and enjoyed each other's company, you had an eerie feeling you were being watched.
You shook off the feeling, it wasn’t too off putting as many people often staring as you accompanied the demon.
Besides, no one dared to approach the two of you anyway.
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Alastor had asked you to come to the hotel so he could show you around.
He really only wanted you to meet the Princess, but the whole hotel was in attendance when Alastor opened the door to reveal you.
“No way Freaky Face bagged a broad like this?” Angel commented, causing Nifty giggled while the rest of the gang watched as Alastor showed you around.
All was going well…until there was a loud banging at the door.
rude much?
“Angel we know you’re here!” A voice shouted as the banging got louder.
You turned to see the tall spider start to shake a bit. 
You patted his arm and motioned him to take a seat and reassured him that all will be well.
Vaggie hissed as a window was knocked out.
”Oi come on out! Valentino wants to see you! We don’t mind using force whorebug!”
You felt your eye twitch.
the gang was trying to think of a way to get rid of them.
They were going to tear the hotel apart at this rate.
Charlie protested as you made your way to the lobby double doors and swung them open.
”Why hello gentlemen, is there a reason for such distasteful actions?” You smiled, but it was anything but friendly.
You took a step forward, a dark aura manifested around you as your eyes glows and teeth sharpened.
”Take her out boys! I’m sure the boss man would like a new toy!”
oh poor things.
You launched at the unexpected demon, sharp teeth at his neck and with a quick yank, his head was gone.
You heard horrified gasps as you moved to dispatch each disgusting creature.
”Ooh my dear you shouldn’t have” you heard Alastor say.
The gang had poked their heads out the front door and was shocked. There were dead bodies everywhere on the front lawn, bodies parts littering the ground. 
Angel and Vaggie gagged as they saw you, teeth deep,in a poor demon. You were shaking it like a dog would with a toy, until it flung out of your mouth, leaving your mouth bloody.
”OOH that’s sick so fucking sick!”
You grinned at Alastor, sharp teeth white a pale contrast to the bright blood smeared on your face .
You shyly tucked a strand of loose hair, standing to dust yourself off. “Ooh i do apologize Alastor. They were just being rude and ruining the exterior! Such disgusting things! They didn’t even deserve the grace to be eaten! How dare they try to-”
You were pulled from your murderous ramble by a soft cloth on your face. You blinked, eyes focusing on Alastor’s smiling face.
”Knew you would look good in red” 
You blushed as he wiped the blood from your chin.
”Oh stop it. You know red doesn’t suit me” you playfully hit his chest. He hummed, ignoring your comment as he cleaned your face.
”I think you look ravishing’ he purred as he licked your blood-stained cheek.
You giggled and held up a liver for him to bite.
In the background the gang was flabbergasted.
so that was HOW Alastor bagged a bad bitch?
shes a fucking cannibal…huh who would have knew?
Well you had to be some sort of freaky to be entertaining the Radio Demon.
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yonch · 9 months ago
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it's been 15 years and you can see better than ever
(design notes under the cut) (there are spoilers)
ok this got really long. here you go
sif:
ditched the cloak. it was collecting dust in their closet until recently, but they realized they don't need to cling to their grief so much anymore. someone else will need it more soon.
ditched the eyepatch. the prosthetic eye is a labor of love designed by isa, as is literally everything else they're wearing.
they cut their bangs finally and started braiding their hair back so it wouldn't obscure their vision as much anymore.
they like darker/tighter clothing and prefer function over form but unfortunately their gay ass boyfriend keeps treating them like a dress up doll so they're stuck wearing waistcoats and a fancy cloak. (they don't mind. it's designed to look like loop.) they keep flowers in their many pockets to give to people.
they're a woodworker in their free time. they don't usually talk about being any sort of savior so he just becomes sif the guy who's really good at carving birthday presents for people and also tags along with isa to charity parties and fundraisers
41 year old 5'1" they/he absolutely zero intention of Changing. bonded to isabeau. they adopted a kid who leo or i might post about some other time i think. her name is estelle.
isa: i'm not taking credit for the design that's by my friend @fembard /@leoweooo. i'll include his design notes
isa dresses mostly for comfort, he doesn't like wearing stuff that might get stained or ruined when he's dyeing clothes or chasing stelle around in the mud or something, all his fashion sense goes into his handiwork
he Changed a few more times over the 15yrs, eventually settled. picked up she/her pronouns again on the side but was never really able to ditch the name isabeau and he kinda ran out of names anyways...
kept the long hair, kept a few inches in height, very happy to fulfill the role of male (space) wife
can't ditch the kimono jacket it's the piece de resistance. odile influence and Wisening Of Age means its made with a little more knowledge of ka buan technique but still very clearly an Isa Design. the fabric is imported silk sif!!!!!!
39 year old Tall with a capital T he/she "i swear i'm not a weeaboo i'm just really into ka buan fashion" vaugardian indie clothing designer in your area help support this man in his attempts to use his family members as living advertisements for his brand
mira: with design input from @jastertown thank you my friend
i took a lot of inspiration for the sparkly, sheer fabric on her dress from euphrasie. she's not head housemaiden yet because she doesn't feel like she's ready but everybody knows it'll be her
speaking of inspiration. she's been taking a lot of fashion cues from a certain lady in dormont that she thought was kind of scary, but it turns out she's very nice? they're besties now.
she got rid of the earrings for a little bit but then she realized she just liked how they look on her. so now they go ding ding! it's for her and nobody else, and that's how she likes it.
moved her ornaments to her skirt because they ding ding more often there. her necklace also jingles with merriment.
38 year old she/her advanced cisgender+ legend who's realizing that people are trying to get her to be the pope but all she really wants to do is write yaoibait fiction that looks like it came straight off of ao3
odile:
my glorious hag. she started shrinking about 3 years ago. all those years of bending over books has finally caught up to her. her hips are fuuuuuucked. but she has a sick cane that sif carved for her so everything's okay
she was already pretty comfortable and settled in her sense of style when she was nearing 50 so i don't think she would change much. darker clothing maybe. ditched the high-waisted pants for some looser slacks.
she's started writing a familytale of her own. the only person she's told about it is bonbon, who caught her up way past their bedtime, and scribbled all over one of the pages. she'll pass it on to sif when the time's right, after she's written down everything she can remember about their family.
64 year old she/her wasian researcher recovering from hernia surgery who's getting really into things like "political activism" and "body craft law reformation in ka bue" and "making sure people aren't sourcing their hrt from back alleys"
bonnie:
prefers to go by boniface these days. it's cooler. more mature. please stop calling me bonbon that's a nickname from when i was 10 guys c'mon guys ugh fine frin you can still call me bonbon but not around my girlfriends ok (nobody calls them boniface except for odile)
speaking of which they have 3 butch lesbian girlfriends. this got established as a joke but i think they have it in them. they're still young!!!!!!! they should be at the club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they traveled for a while with everybody but eventually settled down back in bambouche to start a little family owned restaurant with nille featuring dishes from all over the globe. people travel from all over to get a taste of boniface's good eats... bambouche is bustling. (they have a few recipes that are sourced from the country. they meet people every once in a while who find something achingly familiar about it, and they usually direct those people to jouvente to get in contact with frin.)
26 year old they/them "i dont know how tall i am but i'm taller than za" chef cooker whose restaurant keeps lighting on fire because this time i swear nille i can figure out how to do cooking craft i swear i wont explode the kitchen this time please i promise
loop:
ok. this is where lozy gets to just talk about what he thinks happens post game. i think they stick around for way longer than they really should and follow the crew around on their travels (mostly invisibly) because they're sooo fucking scared of change they're sooo scared and they're so scared of their wish fucking up beyond belief. they're kind of incapable of aging or dying in this body and theyre like permanently 26 which is what spurs them to finally move on.
i think they go back to their timeline eventually after making a Brand New Wish to "go back to their real family." alas the universe leads and we can only follow. and it turns out loop has actually made a real family in stardust's world also. this is my justification for why they can pop in between sasasap and isat worlds without much repercussion. i think they're always permanently loop shaped in isat but i imagine they can probably go back to their original body in their home timeline... might design that later. who knows. i'm fucked like that
i just think they deserve a chance for their own happy ending you know. isat's a game about how it's never too late to communicate and how you shouldn't punish yourself forever and ever. and i think theyve punished themself enough you know.
ok tank you for reading if you read this far. it's really big and long so i would understand if you didn't. but i hope you liked it. thoughts appreciated. here's a little something for the people who read all the way through.
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caramelkoo · 2 months ago
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my soul back home. [1]
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pairing : Jungkook X reader
genre : frenemies to lovers, writer!jungkook, pilates instructor!oc.
summary : your best friend receives your wedding invitation and realizes he doesn't have much time left before he loses you once and for all.
warnings : slight angst, they fight over a packet of pasta, bickering, oc is a pilates girly yayyy, Jungkook is super protective of the oc, misogyny, body positivity, strong language, hate at first sight.
a/n : heyy my besties, i just wanted to show my gratitude to all of you who read my last work. im so so so grateful to each one of you. it's almost 2am for me and i just couldn't wait to share this. Enjoy and let me know how you like it. xoxo. 💕
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6 years ago
Jungkook's growling stomach diverts his attention from the five page essay he's been trying to work on but barely has written a word. Blaming it on his hunger, he gets and up and decides to make himself some white sauce pasta also known as his comfort food. His mom used to make him when he was a child back in the days just so he can get done with his homework without making her work for it.
When he got into a fight in seventh standard and came back home with a nasty cut under his lip, his mom made it again. It's been his go to ever since.
"Shit" as soon as he enters the kitchen though, he realizes that he ran out of pasta last week when his friends came over.
Picking up his car keys he drives up to his closest supermarket. The lady behind the counter smiling at him as per usual. She must be around 60 year old and every time Jungkook has stopped by to pick anything up, she has been super sweet to him. Not to mention how badly she wants him to meet her granddaughter. He wonders if her granddaughter knows about her grandmother trying to set her up with a stranger.
"How you doin' today, boy?"
"Hey miss Cathy, you having a good day?"
"So far so good" Jungkook walks further inside the store and searches for the pasta packet he came here for. When he spots it, he reaches for it unaware of the hand that goes for the very same packet.
The vanilla and caramel like scent hits him like a truck and when he looks beside him, he freezes. The girl which stares back at him has brown hair which matches the color of her striking eyes. There are freckles all over her nose and cheekbones making it look like a group of stars decided to make a home there on her face. Her glossy lips are parted in surprise, her almond shaped eyes wide. Why does he feel warm all of a sudden? Is the air conditioner off?
"hello?" her voice breaks him off his trance. The girl's eyes have gone narrower now.
"I need the packet." He hears her say again. As beautiful as she might be and as badly as he wanted to get on his knees and.. no !! not going there, he couldn't let her take the pasta. Not when it's about his essay. if he doesn't finish it soon his professor is going to have his head on a platter.
"Oh no no no no no no, I need this and I saw it first so I'm getting this"
"Okay first of all that doesn't make any sense. People can see it things from outside the store, does that mean they own it? plus can you not buy it from some other store?"
now he was getting irritated. she had the audacity to look so gorgeous and on top of that she was fighting over a pasta packet?
"It does. No matter how badly you need it, I need it more."
The girl takes a step forward, "Listen, I have no idea what do you need it for and not that I'm interested but I have to make my little sister her favorite pasta with extra cheese or she is not going to leave me and my boyfriend alone."
See, Jungkook is a simple guy. He likes something and he goes for it. If it was some other place, maybe his college or a restaurant, he would have approached the gal and asked for her number oh so politely but this right here? It's a war and he hates losing. No matter how cute the opponent is.
"I'm sure you can persuade her with a popsicle or two. you can find them at the counter right there" he points towards the counter. "Now let me have the pasta because I need to eat my weight in it so that I can finish my essay and be done with it, alright?"
She scoffs, "You're infuriating you know that?"
"Heard somebody call me that once but I believe they were looking for the word 'lovable'" he shrugs and snatches the packet before making his way to the counter silently hoping miss Cathy does not mention her granddaughter again.
The pretty girl yells behind him, "HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU? 5?"
He places the item on the counter and pays the amount before walking out of the store. God, he was starving. Much to his disappointment, someone calls him out.
"Boy, wait!!!" Fuck, it's Miss Cathy again.
He turns towards her forcing himself to smile, "Yes, ma'am?"
"You know my granddaughter-"
"Miss Cathy, I wish I could give you a minute but I'm actually in a hurry. You see, my brother is visiting with his two year old and it's been a long journey for him and he's starving and I need to-"
Jungkook tried his best to lie through his teeth, he really does until a voice interrupts him. That very same voice.
"Really now? And here I thought somebody was so hungry, they started twitching just by the thought of someone else having that packet of pasta" the pretty girl in yellow sundress folds her arm over chest. "Does she know her tits push up when she does that?" Jungkook thinks.
She continues, "Grans, I didn't know you let liars into your shop?"
Wait, WHAT?! Did she just call Miss Cathy "Grans"? Would you look at that? They weren't lying about the world being small. Who would have guess that the girl he's been trying to avoid is the same girl he can't ever avoid for the life of him.
Miss Cathy's loud wheeze echoes through the store, "Trust me y/n, he's a good fella. Jungkook, this is my granddaughter, y/n. The prettiest, my girl."
She looks so proud while introducing her and rightfully so, if she were his, he would also take pride in that. Minus the pasta fight, though. The thought scares the shit out of him and maybe that's why he runs. His feet move rapidly not stopping until he's facing his car in the parking lot.
How the hell did he even let that thought enter his mind? One minute he was sneering at her and now he wanted to make her his? He began imagining what would it be like to call her, his? Quickly starting the engine he drives himself to his apartment. Later that night, he takes a cold shower and fucks his hand while thinking about the same vanilla and caramel scent.
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present time
Jungkook has always loved being alone, his solitude has been something which he absolutely appreciated. Being the eldest son of his family he's been the one to pick up everyone's pieces but when it came to him, nobody served that purpose so he ran. Ran away from his home, from the chaos, the noise and most importantly the responsibilities. That's not to say that he's a quitter but when you have a father sitting on your chest all the time and making it extremely hard for you to live your life, you might as well be called one. He chose his peace and he does not regret anything about it.
Unfortunately though, he left something very precious back home and as much as it hurt him to do so, he knew he couldn't not escape.
The room is quiet enough that he can hear his heart beating straight out of his chest and his breathing turning ragged. When he came back from his early morning run he did not expect to find a wedding invitation in the mail box. he wasn't even planning on checking the damn mailbox if it wasn't for the small part of him wanting to do so.
The man had the whole day planned and now he was standing in the middle of the hall feeling like somebody dropped a huge rock on his chest and said "deal with it" with a piece of paper in his hand he can't wait to burn or tear into pieces. He needs to sit down.
He unlocks his phone and finds your number at the very top of his dial list. You guys were talking last night only about your studio being renovated and it confuses him to the core as to why you didn't mention anything about your wedding.
"Hey, what's up?" your voice greets him, cheery as always.
"You're getting married?" the words seem bitter on his tongue.
"Oh my god, finally. You got the invitation" a dagger through his stomach would hurt less right now. He runs his fingers through his hair, messing them up and continues.
"Were you ever going to tell me about it?"
"No because I wanted it to be a surprise. I asked Taehyung and Cynthia to do the same as well. Aren't you glad you happened to check your mailbox, huh?"
Jungkook blinks, once and then again. He was having a hard time comprehending all of this. Hadn't he checked the mailbox, would you have gotten married and never told him about it? He was going to throw up. When he replies his voice is brittle.
"Listen, can i call you again? I need to run some errands"
"Sure, but don't-" he hangs up and runs to the bathroom before emptying his stomach.
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5 years ago
Sweat drips down from your forehead, your chest moves up and down from how fast your breathing has gone. A moan slips out as you spread your legs a bit wider.
"Just one more aaaaand perfect. Now release" the Pilates instructor's voice reaches to your wet ears. You place yourself down on the mat.
"Fuck, she'll kill me one of these days" Your routine has already been fucked up because of your college exams and after finally being fed up of sticking your nose in the books, you had decided to get on with Pilates. You fell in love with it a year ago.
After working your body in the gym and realizing that high intensity workouts are no good for you, you gave low intensity workouts a chance and boom! The clouds parted and now you're almost in the best shape of your life.
You have never loved your body as much as you do now and if your 13 year old self could look at you, she'd give you a pat on the back. She wouldn't believe that people no longer make fun of her for not having thigh gap or slender arms. Indeed, it took several lunges, roll ups, spine twists, ab burners to get there.
It's not like you have the most anime like body, no. But you have finally stopped beating yourself up over it, accepting the fact that people's negative opinions are just a reflection of their own insecurities.
Your phone pings with a notification and you pick it up. It's the guy you've recently began talking to on hinge. Your boyfriend, now ex, broke up few months ago because he suddenly thought sleeping with his manager would be something you'd look past. Clearly, he was wrong and now he can choke on a thorny dick for all you care.
When your best friend, Cynthia had suggested to join a dating app just for the plot, you did it. Besides, what more could go wrong? An hour of swiping left and two cups of coffee later, you came across a guy with pictures of a guitar, a black cat and a chess board. In your defense, his cat was cute.
The texts reads, "Are you free on the upcoming Saturday? My buddy said there's a new coffee shop and they sell the best hazelnut frappe in existence."
You think before replying. According to the stats, it's the ninth day since you have started talking. Isn't it too soon to be going on a date? Although, there is a small part of you who wants to say "fuck it" and go. Before your thoughts go spiraling you go with the latter.
"Sure. Hazelnut frappe is my favorite" locking your phone you prepare to take a long hot bath. After all, you've earned it.
༺♡༻
Turns out the nerdy guys possessing a hobby of playing chess are not worth it. At least this one isn't. You wonder if you killed a bunch of kittens in your past life because seriously? When you said yes to the date two days ago, the thing you expected the least was your date constantly talking about how many hours he spends in the gym, which protein shake he drinks, even mansplaining about the NHL team he's been obsessed with. Guess you should have seen it coming from the way he couldn't even wait till ten days to ask you on a date.
Honestly, whenever you go on dates you can't help but expect the other person to be on their worst behavior. For example, you can expect the guy to dress badly, smell badly, show up late or conventionally not show up at all. This guy right here is outright insane and has failed to stay in his lane. You were getting agitated at this point.
"And then BOOM!! he shoots the most legendary shot of his life. This is what happens at NHL, you-" he stops when you stand up from your place.
"Excuse me, I'll just be back in a second" you place the napkin on the table as you grab your purse hoping the washroom has a secret exit or something.
But before you could even take a step forward, his voice stops you.
"Oh I know where this is going, You'll excuse yourself politely and then run away like some coward huh? Typical escape plan for you girls?" His voice sounds so nasty and when you turn towards him he's scowling at you like YOU'RE the one who was being a twat the whole time.
you mumble, "What do you mean?"
He stands up and walks towards you. You really try to ignore people staring at you but you're only human. The sudden rush of emotions have caused your mouth to go dry. It's hard to process what's happening.
"What I mean is that you're probably gonna go in there, call your best friend and ask her to help you escape because you can't stand another second with me" he raises his right eyebrow up.
"Sir, please you're causing trouble for everyone. I suggest you to please sit down"
This is beyond embarrassing. If you were planning to give this guy another chance earlier, there's no way in hell you're going to do that now. Over your dead body. So you do the only thing that makes perfect sense. Your hands fly and you hit his cheek with so much force, you swear you hear his jaw pop.
There are several gasps around you. If you're going to get booed on, you might as well make the most out of it.
His face turns sideways before he stands up straight. He raises his hand to hit you back but suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand grabs his forearm and yanks it away. You instantly know who it is. It's the same arm you wanted to twist a year back at the grocery store.
"Get your filthy fucking hands away from her"
After an year of trying to forget about him, he's here yet again and he's saving you from this asshole. You couldn't decide if you should be thrilled about him coming at your rescue or worried about him being back.
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targaryenrealnessdarling · 7 months ago
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Between Fire and Stone
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Daemon Targaryen/Strong!female
summary: anxious about her approaching union to Aemond, the only daughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen seeks comfort | word count: 2.8k~ | warnings: incest, reader is described with strong features, fingering, p in v sex, arranged marriage, Daemon being a cheeky cunt
A/N: idek what I was on to write this cos I'm not usually a Daemon girlie but here we are besties. Tysm @em-writes-stuff-sometimes for beta-ing 😘 appreciate you
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The cold mist nipped at the skin around her ankles, a shiver running up her spine as she struggled through the jagged rock towards the Dragonmont. Her fingers brushed against the stark stone for balance, the other holding the lit torch to light her way before her in the darkness.
It was one of her favourite things, taking a stroll through Dragonstone in the hour of the wolf. Peaceful. Quiet. Something she could have all for herself. Away from the prying of her maidservants and the overbearing boisterous nature of her brothers. Though Jace, now a man grown, still held onto those immaturities.
Yet another thing that set her apart from her siblings.
For she, only a mere year younger than Jace, was considered a woman, ripe for marriage and bearing children, whereas the same hastiness was not pressured upon him. She knew her mother had never intended to bestow such responsibilities on her, but she understood, it was inevitable. As that time loomed ever closer, she found herself roaming her home more often, as if to savour the feeling of once being a child.
Where her brothers could seek adventure with their dragons once they were big enough to saddle, her egg had not hatched in her cradle. She would not inherit the birthright of the blood of Old Valyria, yet another judgement cast upon her that only inflated her sense of belonging at her mother's side. With her moonlit hair and pale lilac eyes, each of her children could not have looked more different.
Before the incident, there existed only one other soul who could truly fathom the depths of her solitude. No dragon. Ceaseless taunts. The notion of isolation, even amongst one’s family. Any semblance of camaraderie had been extinguished the day Lucerys took his eye. That defining moment when Aemond—her uncle—seized his birthright had marked the fracture in their familial bonds. In the aftermath, her mother, alongside her new husband Daemon, orchestrated a grand scheme to mend the shattered relations, a plan that involved her betrothal to him at an opportune moment.
Try as she might, she couldn't conjure the image of herself as his wife. The thought of residing in King's Landing under his roof refused to coalesce into a coherent vision. It remained an elusive spectre, haunting her thoughts with its intangible uncertainty.
Whispers of tradition and duty echoed in the hallowed halls of her childhood, spun by the gentle tongues of Septas who spoke of the sacred rites of marriage. Tales of Lords and Ladies, of the solemn exchange of vows, and the anticipated consummation on the wedding night. Some stories painted a picture of pleasure and intimacy, of unions founded on mutual desire and affection. Others whispered of duty, of sacrifices made for the sake of one's spouse, regardless of personal inclination.
Caught in the web of uncertainty, she pondered which version of Aemond awaited her, a tender partner or a distant lord, bound by duty and tradition. The unknown loomed before her like a shadow, casting doubt upon her heart and stirring a quiet fear within her soul. She knew not what to expect, but the uncertainty itself was enough to unsettle her, to sow the seeds of apprehension in her mind. And as the weight of anticipation hung heavy in the air, she couldn't help but wonder, which path would her marriage tread, and would she have the strength to endure whatever lay ahead?
Amidst the towering peaks of Dragonmont, she sought solace in the embrace of ancient flames and the soothing hum of Vermithor's slumber. Here, amidst the rugged terrain and the ever-watchful gaze of the dragons, she found a fleeting sense of peace.
But it was not the Bronze Fury that sang to her. 
“Hen ñuhā elēnī:
Perzyssy vestretis,
Se gēlȳn irūdaks…
Ānogrose.”
She felt the rush of heat at the nape of her neck. Daemon stood straight, back facing her, his voice near-matching the hum of Vermithor’s deep exhales.
“It is late, Princess.” Unlike her, Daemon remained as he dressed during the day, shown when he turned to face her, with the self-satisfied smirk on his lips. “What troubles you?” he asked.
She tried to raise her chin, but her eyes betrayed the turmoil that stirred within. 
“My fate,” she said, her careful steps drawing ever nearer. "I am to be wed to Aemond, but I fear what awaits me in that union.”
Daemon hummed, as if curiously amused.
She had known no father figure since Laenor. And though she knew sooner than her brothers the truth that lay beneath the careful picture her mother had forged, since she had been wed to Daemon, he had taken practice with his own daughters and become almost a father to her alike.
She felt his eyes sink over her once before returning to her eyes.
"Marriage is a weighty matter," he said. "But is it the marriage itself that troubles you, or something more?”
She did not miss the lilt to his voice. The one, that like his eyes had done many times before, made something squeeze in her gut. A fire burning bright. A feeling that brought her shame.
He was her mother's husband.
“I cannot say exactly,” she confessed. “Perhaps it is leaving Dragonstone. Mother and my brothers. And being alone in the capital with no face I recognise with trust.”
Daemon nodded almost indistinctly, his fingers reaching out to brush a lock of hair back over her shoulder, admiring her hair loose of its usual braids. His touch sent a shiver down her spine, a sensation both familiar and disconcerting. She fought to push aside the conflicting emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, the warmth of his touch conflicting with the knowledge of their complicated relationship.
"Leaving behind the familiar can indeed be a daunting prospect," Daemon acknowledged, his voice a velvet caress, “But fret not. Within you resides the same fire that fuels your mother's resolve. Embrace it. You are as much Targaryen as any of them.”
She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks at the intensity of his gaze, at the way he seemed to see straight through her defences. She knew she should be wary of his advances, of the way he danced on the edge of propriety with his words and his touch. But there was something undeniably alluring about the way he held her gaze, about the way he made her feel desired and understood.
"Thank you, Daemon," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "Your support means more to me than you know.”
Daemon's smile was a slow, seductive curve of his lips, his eyes alight with a fire that mirrored the flames of the Dragonmont. 
"Ah, but my dear Princess," he replied, his voice low and husky, "you have yet to discover the true depths of my support.”
She felt her throat close up, the feeling mirroring somewhat what happened between her thighs.
What could he possibly mean?
“Do you fear it?” he asked. “The act of consummation?”
Her cheeks flushed crimson at Daemon's bold question, his words sending a jolt of both arousal and apprehension coursing through her veins. 
“It… is perfectly normal, I would think,” she answered, words failing her.
"Princess," he murmured, his voice a soothing caress against her skin. "There is no shame in feeling uncertain. It is only natural to have doubts, especially when faced with such intimate matters.”
She felt he was circling her, as dragons did their targets. And felt her heart thumping in her chest.
“With Aegon, I dare say, I would join you in your uncertainty. But Aemond, on the other hand… is a different matter entirely.”
“How so?” she asked, breathing out when he disappeared out of her line of sight, his presence at her back, fingers draping past the material of her dress.
“I am afraid he may be less… forthcoming with expressing his desires,” he purred. “He may be cold, or at least that is how it may be interpreted.” Her eyes met his with bated breath as he appeared on her opposite side, closer. “He may not be so adept with the pleasures of a female body.”
She swallowed, a chill settling on her front, her body reacting thus. He remained silent, as if daring her to say what he knew was already on the tip of her tongue. So, she took the plunge. “And…you are?”
Daemon smirked smugly, and she knew she already had her answer., “What do you think?”
Her heart raced. Her mind struggled to contemplate whether she should be honest or not, for she had heard stories and rumours. She knew she was treading dangerous waters, playing with fire in the form of her mother's husband, but there was a part of her that couldn't resist the allure of his confidence, his charm, his undeniable magnetism.
"I... I suppose I never considered such matters," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the admission.
Daemon's eyes danced with amusement as he stepped closer. "Perhaps it is time you did," he murmured, fingers trailing lightly down the curve of her spine.
Her skin vibrated with anticipation as she fought to maintain her composure in the face of his overwhelming presence. She knew she should pull away, should put an end to this dangerous game they were playing, but the lure of Daemon's charm was too strong to resist.
“Mayhaps I could demonstrate and put your worries to rest,” he suggested, crossing the imaginary but daring line seemingly without fear. “Rest assured, my experience in such matters is... extensive."
Her heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to maintain her resolve, her body betraying her with every flutter of her lashes, every quickened breath. “But… you and Mother—”
Her lips clamped shut with the bruising of his grip in the softness of her waist, urging her back to the rocky, hard wall. Only now, when faced with the Rogue Prince, did she realise just how small she truly felt.
“Your mother is preoccupied with her own affairs," he replied, his voice dripping with a dangerous allure. "She won't concern herself with our little... indiscretion.”
The realisation sank in that she was alone with Daemon in the secluded confines of the Dragonmont, far removed from the prying eyes of the world. And yet, she still felt her lips go dry when he hung the torch and trailed his touch upon her skin where he was taking her skirts with it.
She could not hide her nerves, or the beating rush of arousal, “Bu—but… with Aemond, I must—”
The air felt warm as her skirt was rucked around her hips. She squeaked when his calloused fingers swept through her folds, ashamed to find she was affected by what he was doing to her as her slick coated them easily.
Daemon chuckled, a pleased hum in his chest that she was wet and ready, while his other hand busied with the laces of his breeches, “Sweet girl. When my dear nephew has his cock buried inside you on your wedding night, he will not know the difference.”
His words, combined with the tight circles he applied to the forbidden bud tucked between her legs, had white hot pleasure burning in her veins. Her lips were parted, but no sound came out. All she could do was look upon his pleased face with a hedonistic expression, feeling very much like they were doing something deliciously wrong but could find no reasonable excuse to cease.
“Do not look so surprised. I have seen the way you watch me. Are you not ashamed for looking upon your own mother’s husband with lust?” 
The more he touched her, the more arousal he coaxed forth, the sound lewd and forbidden in the raw silence of the Draognmont. She could not answer his question without subjecting herself to further embarrassment. Even so, attempting to concentrate enough to form words as his two forefingers slid within her tight, hot walls, was near impossible. She gasped quietly, the feeling so foreign and yet not unpleasant. And like Daemon in any other scenario, while his motions were forceful, somewhat brutal, they were calculated, without effort. Like it came innately. Her hands found purchase on his shoulders, his digits buried deep inside curved towards him, stoking a fire at the hearth of her.
“Answer me.”
She nodded frantically. “Yes—I am ashamed—”
It was all she managed before the feeling began to crest, building and building as if she were climbing some great height and was about to tumble off. But she only exhaled shakily as Daemon withdrew his fingers from her fluttering, sensitive walls, using the moisture to lubricate himself with a careful caress of his manhood.
He chuckled at the wounded expression on her face. “No need for shame, Princess.”
She caught the glint of his ring as he wrung the fabric of her skirts in his fist. Her eyes widened as the head of his cock disappeared easily between her swollen folds, with no real full feeling until he pushed forward, both with hesitation and a sort of evil excitement.
Her back pressed against the jagged stone, her lips only parted to suck in air where it had left her lungs. It was a feeling she could describe very little, the sting of being stretched around him painful and yet once sheathed fully inside her, hips pushing against her own. Daemon wrapped his fingers around her fleshy thigh to tug her leg over his hip, a flash of white hot pleasure creeping up her spine. He only grunted, her slick ridges gripping him greedily without any effort on her part. 
For a few moments, he stayed like that as if waiting for any complaint, but when he found none, began a steady rhythm, fingers creating crescent-moon shaped welts in her skin. He did not share in her reaction. He simply raised one corner of his lips in a pleased manner, watching her face, treating it very much as a lesson in pleasure more than anything else.
She could scarcely think with the violent push of his hips, the notch of his belt stabbing into her each time.
“My nephew does not deserve this perfect. little cunt.” He grunted from the effort. “Tell me, Princess—when he is fucking you with his narrow little prick, will you be thinking of this instead?”
Her eyes slipped shut, her head tipped back and fingers coming to her own mouth to muffle the lewd sound that threatened to come out. Her perceived embarrassment at her own enjoyment of this only seemed to motivate Daemon further, and he widened her hips with a soft nudge of his knee against her leg and groaned at the way she tightened around him.
“You liked that, didn't you?” He breathed against her face, looking briefly down between them to watch how he rooted himself inside her over and over, as if unable to believe this was really happening. “I bet he won't make you this wet. I doubt the little cunt will even know how to make you come.”
Her skirt fell from his hand as it drew down between them, and she resisted the urge to squeal when he began to apply pressure in tight, sure circles around her bud.
“You shall have to teach him those pleasures.”
Her fingers gripped his forearms tight as she climaxed, her tight, hot walls spasming around him uncontrollably. It was so utterly different to the way she had pleasured herself before. This time, the forbidden combination of Daemon stretching her open around him and the pleasure he coaxed from her with his fingers meant that this peak seemed to drain her entire body of energy. Her body feeling boneless in his hold, that if he let go, she would surely lose her balance.
A flash of fear cracked like lightning across her subconscious. Surely he did not intend to spill inside her?
He did not overstimulate her for much longer as he neared his own end. Rather, he savoured the feeling of her warmth sucking him in for just a few moments more before pulling out, stroking himself vigorously to completion, warm ropes of his spend coating her lower stomach.
In the quiet dead of night with only her laboured breathing to echo within it, she felt her eyes could not keep up with her mind as she glanced back up at him. His rapidly cooling seed began to dribble towards her thighs, swiftly covered by her skirts once more as Daemon lowered her clothing back into place. The reality of the dangerous and yet delicious sin she had committed with him began to rise into clarity.
Upon his fingers shone the damning proof of his sordid claim on her, pearly in the glow of torchlight. “What a waste. I’d have liked to see it dripping from you.
But that pleasure… I shall save for my nephew, sweet girl."
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General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard @bellstwd @blairfox04 @buckybarnesb-tch @castellomargot @hb8301 @jamespotterismydaddy @mochi-rose @natty2017 @nenelysian @risefallrise @thelittleswanao3 @theoneeyedprince @thetrueblackheart @tsujifreya @urmomsgirlfriend1 @valeskafics @valleyof-goldenlilies
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thepersonnamedsam · 1 year ago
Text
vacation 🏝️🌊🐚☀️
pairing: the genz!driver x 23!grid
summary: the grid enjoys the summer break together on a nice holiday
warnings: none :)
note: let’s all be delulu and think it’s not gonna take a month until we all see our fav people again
masterlist / taglist
yninsta
Maldives
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liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 638‘738 others
yninsta the groupchat holiday finally made it out of the groupchat - happy summerbreak y‘all
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username1 who are the cones?!!! i need to know
username2 probably carlos, lando and danny
yninsta actually it’s me, oscar and danny, so 1/3 right
username3 shooketh that they finally did a group holiday
username4 probably took y/n to convince them to all hangout outside the paddock
username5 yes, she’s probably the connection point between them all, so cute
sebastianvettel looks fun!
yninsta it is! u should come visit us, pls seb
charles_leclerc we all miss you, sebastian
lewishamilton please seb, i need help parenting some young lady
yninsta hope u don’t mean me :/
username6 i love the dynamic, ahhhhwjejejkwjw
username7 i wish to be her, so i could receive all this attention of the drivers
username7 what does a girl need to do?!?3! tell me
username8 sigh, i keep trying to find the key
lewishamilton
Maldives
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liked by shakira, yninsta and 1‘378‘728 others
lewishamilton maldives treating me well
view all 927‘209 comments
yninsta ohh, look who’s all fancy now
yninsta where are the photo credits?!? huh?
lewishamilton here
yninsta thanks :)
username9 he’s so hot
username10 what’s gonna happen now?
unsername11 hopefully xavi gets fired
username12 wasn’t he fired already? what did i miss
username11 idk, honestly
username12 ugh, how came one be so hot
yninsta posted on their story!
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lando.jpg
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liked by yninsta, danielricciardo and 827‘628 others
lando.jpg party rock is in the house tonight
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username13 this looks like a hangover on the next day kind of night
username14 lando looks so good in the second pic
username15 swooning, i can’t
username16 estie bestie made a rare occurrence
yninsta how can nando smoke a cigar in a club?
fernandoalo_official Because I am cool
yninsta if u still type with capital letters, no you’re not
fernandoalo_official HEY
username17 oh, the old man is mad
daniel3.jpg posted on their story!
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yninsta
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liked by username18, lewishamilton and 722‘263 others
yninsta enjoying the time off
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username19 it’s so beautiful there
usermame20 wish to be there rn
username21 ugh, how does danny look this good?!
username22 who’s the one surfing?
yninsta our beloved carlitos
username22 really? he can surf?
carlossainz55 don’t underestimate my skills
yninsta posted on their story!
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pierregasly
Maldives
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liked by yninsta, yukitsunoda0511 and 373‘638
pierregasly we went ziplining and yninsta kind of went overhead, not because of me tho…
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yninsta IT WAS TOTALLY BC OF U
pierregasly NO
yninsta YES
landonorris i saw it
username23 was it pierre’s fault?!3
landonorris yes
pierregasly NO IT WAS NOT
yukitsunoda0511 why am i not in this dump?
pierregasly bc you are in japan right now?
username24 poor yuki is not on vacay with them
yninsta he didn’t want to :(
yninsta and is still complaining
yukitsunoda0511 i wanted to see my family
pierregasly wE ARE YPIR FAMILY
yninsta
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liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 937‘268 others
yninsta the ferrari and the mclaren boyzzzzz
view all 103‘629 comments
scuderiaferrari y/n, you can take our job as pr manager now
mclaren no, she’s already hired by us
yninsta how about i am my own teams pr manager?
mclaren no..?
oscarpiastri i don’t look good in that pic
landonorris haha, thats true
yninsta don’t insult oscar, laNDI
username25 they all look so good
username26 y/n is old enough to drINK? when did she grow up?
fernandoalo_official Barely
yninsta not true, i am actually old enough to drink
yninsta and it was delicious
carlossainz55 yea, bc there is no alcohol in this
yninsta yes it was, what are u talking about
charles_leclerc no, i ordered you a virgin aperol, that’s why it’s so light coloured
yninsta hey, now i’m sad :(
username27 oh i wish to be her
°°°
taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @whatthefuckerr , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga
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i-cant-sing · 5 months ago
Note
I loved the new chapter! Thank you for publishing it! I’m just wondering how a modern Baldwin and Saladin would act
hmmmmm interestingly, i think modern day Salauddin would be a self made billionaire, probably has his own business he started from the ground. He's still a practising muslim, he still keeps his gaze lowered with the opposite gender, hits the gym so he has good built but not like buff. Rejects proposals left and right (until you came along lol). Still plays chess with you, buys you a whole WARDROBE full of khimars, abayas, niqaabs (if u wear them) but they're made of the finest materials and from luxury brands only. spends a lot of his wealth on charity and especially on gaza and palestine. I also think that he besides horses, he has a black kitten at home that he adores because she's so brooding and he spoils her to no end. he has a cool collection of cars, goes to monaco often for the f1 races (he has his own team too), and he also goes to deserts with his Arabian horses for races and takes part in polo games often (and he's also very good at archery). Chess is something he's reserved to playing with you only.
Moodboard for Salauddin:
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Modern day Baldwin would probably inherit his dad's business- he's basically a trust fund baby but he still is very smart and his IQ is off the charts. But he's not like a genius gone crazy. No, no- he's still low key himbo, high key golden retriever bf who has managed to expand the family business 1000000X times. His work rival is Salauddin's company but he's also Salauddin's self proclaimed bestie. I like to think that he goes to church on sundays with the fam and all the ladies are just fawning over him there- and he KNOWS, he's got this charming smile on his face as he passes by them and hears these girls sigh dreamily. Idk why but he also gives off the vibes that he's crazy good at calisthenics or parkour (has given sibylla and his dad multiple heart attacks when they caught him hanging off the edge of the roof), so he's got a good built too. He has a car collection too but he prefers bikes. Oh and his bikes are 👌✨ pookie bear just loves to cruise around the city on his bike with a speed that could possibly lead him to God. also donates a ton, to gaza and palestine too. i also think that since his family is like old money, they more than likely have contacts everywhere including the government. and since they're soooo rich and resourceful, government agencies tend to ask them for help often. so i think that Baldwin with his high ass IQ has done a lot of undercover operations for cia and i also think that he had developed an interest in computers from a young age so he's really good at hacking and stuff, he's got dirt on everyone and everybody and has solved so many cases from the comfort of his home, all while remaining anonymous.
moodboard for baldwin:
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