#and all of the dynamics i've discussed so far + any to look forward to in the future >w> stay tuned~

[magnifiico]

if anyone is waiting for anything from me (be it an ooc response in IMs or some sort of beginning to an interaction), please know i'm not ignoring you or not disinterested! (ꈍ ‸ ꈍ✿)

i was sick all week last week and now we're diving headfirst into the holidays, so i've been a bit scatterbrained with remembering to reply to things — i guarantee it's me, not you ♡

ty for your patience; i'm stoked to explore dynamics together!

[seyaryminamoto]

Azula's most overlooked characterization element

Why, hello there.

It is I.

And I'm back on my bullshit.

I didn't WANT to be. But a bunch of factors pulled me back in.

For the record: I'm not here to start any fights or light the fuse of arguments that I most likely won't have time or interest in responding to. What I AM here for... is to prove that there's something out there a bunch of people are delighted to sleep on because acknowledging it would render maaaany simplistic interpretations entirely invalid...

That group of people includes the fandom, of course. And the original show's staff. And the liveaction's staff, to a fault. Surely the TTRPG ones too. And absolutely, the comic book writers.

Hell, I'll even include MYSELF in that group, even though I'm making this post right now.

I found it really curious that I very recently saw this element mentioned in a pretty neat blog I follow, @atla-lore-archive, I absolutely advise anyone who hasn't checked out said archive to do it if you wish to understand a lot of the "extra lore" the fandom had access to, back in the old days when the turbonick ATLA site still existed and used to be the only source of deeper knowledge about the fandom besides the occasional interview that most people didn't even know where to track down.

But the funny thing is that the post I'm talking about proved that even Turbonick forgot about the people this post is about :')

And that would beeeeeeee...

*cue drumroll*

Lo and Li!

What makes Lo and Li an important subject to discuss?

Why, a lot of things. Among them, the fact that almost nobody brings them into the core focus of any analysis made about Azula's character. I've personally mentioned them once or twice I believe, mostly as negatives, there's but ONE positive aspect I've ever found of them: them being non-benders MIGHT be a reason why Azula isn't shown as being quite so obsessive with firebending supremacy as Zuko was supposed to be.

But that's very much the sole good thing I can think to say about them and it's completely subjective, as good as a headcanon, because we don't even KNOW if they influenced Azula in that sense!

Why do they seem to get overlooked quite as much? Why... let's start thinking about it, shall we?

Lo and Li are Azula's firebending teachers. As far as anyone can tell, they're also her advisors. These two people should be an essential part of Azula's life... but ironically, we seldom see them with her. Most times, Azula isn't around these two. Whenever she is? It doesn't usually look like she's having a good time.

And that's no surprise, considering her first scene with those two very much puts forward a dynamic of cold distance between Azula and her mentors: Azula is bending LIGHTNING. We have not heard of other lightningbenders until that point, and once the full show wraps up, there's only THREE (Azula, Ozai, Iroh). Out of those three? Only one is a fourteen-year-old girl. It's very easy to assume Azula's lightning is actually a skill she mastered unusually early in life, perhaps relatively recently, hence the practicing... but she's pulling it off. She's succeeding. She's doing something that genuinely catches a first-time viewer off-guard!

And Lo and Li's entire opinion of what she did is: "Almost perfect. One hair out of place."

This tells you the Fire Nation's idea of "imperfection" is... insane. Strict. Imposing. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Azula's reaction isn't to get angry at Lo and Li for saying what they did: it's to get angry at herself and try again.

But... that's not the only instance where we see Azula getting angry around Lo and Li.

The next few times Azula is around them, she doesn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction (one is when they tell her to find other allies, the other when they herald her as a great hero who returned home from Ba Sing Se). In the second of these scenes, Lo and Li are praising Azula as incredible, beautiful, all sorts of grand things...! And Azula smiles. She smiles at the crowd. She's not smiling at the old ladies who are praising her... she's mostly just happy to know her people are welcoming her as a hero indeed! Most the fandom would go "true! what an ungrateful bitch! She should've been happy that Lo and Li complimented her that way!!" Me? I wouldn't say that at all. Not just because I love Azula to pieces? But because the only information we have of Azula's dynamics with these two... doesn't seem compatible with the idea that what Lo and Li are saying here is for AZULA'S benefit.

Anyone who's had a hypocritical parent/caretaker/teacher must have endured awkward, horrible, unpleasant moments where this adult figure treats you like shit in private but in public holds you as this grand example, and a perfect child, and they never seem to stop saying they're soooo proud of you even though you NEVER felt that what they're saying is true. Maybe the first few times, you're naive enough to believe it. By the tenth time of incongruent messages? You start to realize they're talking you up as a way to make themselves look better. They're trying to show they're doing their job at raising you/training you, be it whatever it may. The praises are not FOR you... they're for a third person to hear and think "Oh, this adult's so cool, saying nice things about this kid they're responsible for! Nice!"

... You're starting to get the picture now, I'm sure.

Lo and Li reappear in the Beach. Azula is notably chill, enjoying the ride, talking casually with Ty Lee, telling Zuko to lighten up and to stop taking Ozai's choices personally, right? She seems... content. Relaxed.

Then, everything changed when Lo and Li attacked.

We don't even see why Azula is making this face at first. But she does it AT ONCE when their ship reaches the dock.

Who is there indeed...?

The stars of our post! :') if it isn't our elderly twin ladies... who brought Azula to a very disappoting beach house. And when Azula sees the house in question, she makes THIS face.

Judge however you may... even Ty Lee is weirded out by the beach house, going by that expression. Zuko and Mai aren't impressed either. But Azula? The look on her face isn't merely disappointment if you ask me... part of it looks a bit like embarrassment too? This isn't at all what she was expecting when she arrived (she has her old beach house for standards, which makes this extra underwhelming, I'm sure). She counts on Lo and Li to provide them with a place to stay, it goes implicit... and then this is what they do. It most likely isn't what she promised the other three in terms of where they'd stay, hence, I'd dare say there's a component of embarrassment here.

Shortly afterwards, we have our well known scene with Azula being utterly unconcerned with Lo and Li's apparent wisdom to the point of yawning over it. This, too, tells you she's just not interested in whatever those two have to say or bring to the table. Then, they show up again at mealtime and I think Azula just ignores them the whole scene.

After this? Lo and Li vanish until the finale. And what do they do in the finale? Why... it's the first time anyone expresses a verbal concern over Azula's wellbeing! Ah! A sign that Lo and Li have SOME affection for Azula! This time, you pesky Azula fans, you CAN'T twist this into a bad thing! For sure!

... Can't we, tho? :')

What IS Azula's reaction to: "We are concerned for your wellbeing"?

"My father asked you to come here and talk to me, didn't he‌? He thinks I can't handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history."

And here, my friends, is when we have finally hit the jackpot.

Lo and Li could have been Azula's Irohs. She could've had TWO of him! Then you'd say: "hey! Ozai is such a dick he let Azula have two elderly wise ladies guiding her but only gave one old wise dude to Zuko! Rude!" and it would be further proof of Ozai's favoritism of Azula, right?

... But actually?

Lo and Li are no such thing. Lo and Li aren't moral compasses for Azula in the least. Lo and Li are not beacons of wisdom that genuinely help her sort her way through life. Worth noting: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN THAT WAY. They're not. They're not part of mysterious secret societies, they don't help Azula in any objective, significant, tangible way... there's very much nothing to say they EVER fulfilled the role Iroh did for Zuko. What role, then, were they fulfilling instead?

Why... I think we ought to listen to Azula, shouldn't we?

My take: Lo and Li are OZAI'S STAND-INS.

Someone's going to say "hey why would you assume that when Azula said this in the middle of a breakdown?? Surely she was just DELUSIONAL and PARANOID and ashdgkadhsgkjgh...!"

... Let me counter that one with a fun little analysis excercise:

WHY are Lo and Li Azula's firebending teachers and advisors?

The finale very directly tells us these two are not benders. We could've assumed they were! They're not: Azula's teachers are non-benders.

Has a single person out there ever asked themselves WHY this is the case?

How the hell is Azula, prodigy of the blue fire, epic lightning, cruel and powerful and precise and deadly bending... training under two elderly nonbenders?

Bringing this to a real-life example: do you remember what it was like when you were in P.E. classes and your teacher told you to spend 20 minutes jogging, and if you ever stopped you had to do 20 crunches and then get back to the jogging, and every time you stopped he'd tell you the same thing and you'd want that guy to vanish from the face of the planet? I don't know if that was only my experience, but I rather doubt it.

What did kids typically think/say when that happened?

"I wanna see that old fart doing the same shit he's making us do..."

It's a headcanon indeed to say that this is how Azula must have felt over Lo and Li, but it's VERY likely to be the case. But I'd dare say, in Azula's case, it's even worse because, to put it in another way? It's like taking programming lessons from someone who's never learned a programming language. They'll tell you you're getting things wrong without knowing how to help you get them right because they just DON'T KNOW what you're doing, and are outright INCAPABLE of what you're trying to achieve. They can't offer good guidance based on experience because they have ZERO experience on that subject! And yet they want PERFECTION from you! They expect it!

Lo and Li are these teachers for Azula. We only see them in one scene? And yet everything in the rest of the show suggests that they bring nothing important to the table for Azula, be it professionally, be it personally, be it emotionally... not in any aspect of life.

And this, if you ask me, is why the OG show barely ever brings them into scenes. Why the comics flat-out forgot they existed and even featured people like Sozin and Azulon in Azula's beach hallucinations but NOT the two ladies who looked after her and trained her. Why the live-action didn't even FEATURE them.

And us? The fandom? The fic writers?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I READ A FIC THAT HAD LO AND LI INVOLVED IN IT.

I'm not even saying as main characters, I don't even know if that exists, frankly: I mean as minor, or background characters. I have NOT seen those two be used in basically ANY fics I've read. I've scarcely used them in mine! In fact, I PURPOSEFULLY got rid of them early on in Gladiator because I didn't want them to sabotage and get in the way of Azula's progress as a character and I believed they'd do exactly that. They were an obstacle rather than anything useful, so I did away with them and then realized they could still occasionally serve some purpose in certain situations: I even had Azula visit them once and they were actually helpful! Fancy that! But... that's it. That's as far as I could go with them. I can't do MORE with those two because they're not characters one particularly feels compelled to work with.

And from what I've seen? That's the case for everyone.

So, I ask again:

WHY ARE THEY THERE?

WHAT IS THEIR ROLE?

WHAT IS THE POINT OF AZULA HAVING NON-BENDING TEACHERS?

Let's go further and further into logical thinking here, shall we?

Azula is a child. Fourteen years of age at the time she's introduced in the OG show.

Azula has no power over many things around her, particularly, her upbringing. That's in the hands of the adults around her. Her mother, up until she vanished, had some hand in it, then, it all falls to Ozai.

Ozai has been Azula's sole parental figure since Ursa left.

Ozai is the one who would reasonably call the shots regarding Azula's education, as all parents are wont to do... ESPECIALLY when he's a king with absolute power over his children.

... so, Lo and Li? Ozai either gave them the position as Azula's teachers personally, or someone else (Ursa) did, and Ozai either didn't WANT to remove them from the role (cue "Ozai being sentimental over Ursa" theories), or Ozai didn't give a flying fuck about who was training his daughter (cue "Ozai is an abusive dick without a heart or a brain" theories).

Anyone, of course, would likely interject here to say surely Ozai ALSO trained Azula himself because that's what he'd do with his favorite kid, right? See. I don't even disagree with that notion.

BUT IT'S A HEADCANON.

We have zero evidence that Ozai trained her! None! I totally will write that into Azula's backstory in many of my stories, but there's NOTHING in canon to suggest this actually happened and that Ozai was genuinely, actively, frequently involved in her progress as a firebender. Assuming he HAD to be is, still, a headcanon. You can't say that with any more certainty than mine when I say I believe Azula loves spicy foods. Does it seem to be something that would fit with her character? I think so! But if eventually canon goes "AZULA CAN'T STAND SPICY FOODS LOL JOKE'S ON YOU!" I... can't even say a thing about it. People's food tastes aren't reflective of their personalities. They really could do whatever they want in that respect. And that's the case for ANYTHING that isn't part of the show's storytelling or the character backgrounds or any texts we consider canon!

POINT BEING: Ozai, regardless of what you want to headcanon, had Lo and Li as Azula's teachers. HIS FAVORITE CHILD... and her only official instructors are two non-benders. Yang added Kunyo as an old instructor of Azula's when she was young, sure! But Kunyo was sooooo qualified that baby Azula was already kicking his ass. So, for that matter? He doesn't really seem to have been a cornerstone of her firebending development and the only other known teachers for Azula are Lo and Li.

For the last time: Azula's teachers are NON-BENDERS. AS CHOSEN, SANCTIONED, APPROVED AND ACCEPTED BY OZAI.

And with those two remarking on absolutely STUPID stuff like "one hair out of place"? Azula still became the incredible firebender she was.

Cue, now, the irony where Zuko was stuck in the basics 3 years after setting out of the Fire Nation... WITH IROH ACTIVELY SERVING AS HIS MENTOR.

You're not gonna tell me that Lo and Li would EVER be better instructors than Iroh, or are you? Because that makes no sense. Full-stop. Iroh is supposed to be the most profound and complete firebender thorughout the show because he's spiritually enlightened even though I admit I think that's bullshit and he doesn't just teach Zuko how to set things on fire, he actually makes him learn theory and spirituality and his teachings are more profound than just "ONE HAIR OUT OF PLACE".

So.

Banished as he is, disgraced and seen as trash by Ozai, Zuko STILL has a better teacher than Azula does.

... Is this LOGICAL? Is this NORMAL? Does this make SENSE?

If you think Ozai's favoritism of Azula takes the shape of "I'll give you every little thing you ask for, sweetheart, I love you very much, here, have ten million doll houses so you can set them on fire, and all the ponies you ask for and on your next birthday I'll buy you a baby dragon and you'll get your own region of the Fire Nation to govern and a fancy title..."?

Then Lo and Li, unfortunately, are right here to be a HUGE contradiction with your interpretation of Ozai and Azula's relationship.

Azula should have THE BEST teachers. Azula does not. Azula doesn't even LIKE them. Azula is openly shown to dislike them! To be annoyed around them, ANGRY when they're teaching her, she feels they're here to keep tabs on her for her father! In a sense, they're Ozai's SPIES on her! :')

Hence? Ozai's favoritism of Azula MIGHT not be what everyone keeps pretending it is. Maybe Ozai didn't do everything to make Azula get things EASILY... and to be fair? That's not what Zuko said anyway. People interpreted it that way... but that's not REALLY what he says:

"Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. "

Every line in this statement is absolutely questionable and all of it sounds like buuuuullshit to me. This is ZUKO'S perspective. And sorry not sorry, but it's tell-don't-show. People swear by his opinion of Azula and pretend he's absolutely objective about it. He's not.

But "Everything always came easy to her," does not mean "EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS HANDED OVER TO HER ON A SILVER PLATTER." And yet this is what the fandom has constantly interpreted it as.

Azula might just be a prodigy. Maybe she started out ten steps ahead of her brother: this does not mean she needs no guidance, no training, no help. She's seen training herself over perfectionism in her very second scene of Book 2. And the guidance she gets in order to achieve perfection is actually, objectively, stupid.

This is what Ozai chose for her. This is an OBSTACLE for her growth, just as much as Lo and Li were obstacles for me when I was starting with Gladiator! Azula doesn't have it EASY: she just works herself so damn hard that even shit that should HINDER her does NOT do that. And even when her brother objectively has spent THREE YEARS with an advantage in the shape of being trained by one of the VERY BEST firebenders out there? Azula is still beating Zuko at it. With two non-benders as her teachers.

Where am I going with all this?

To the fact that Lo and Li are overlooked in just about every instance of the fandom.

To the fact that nobody includes them, and their influence on Azula, in their analyses of who Azula is.

I've seen a shitstorm rising over the Netflix characterization of Azula: SHE'S TOO ANGRY, they say. Non-stop. She's sooooo hysterical, all the time! She's just pissed perpetually!

Well. I haven't finished the show yet. But the scenes I've seen Azula in so far? They don't fit the fandom's view of Azula because...

... they're not taking Lo and Li into account.

As usual.

:')

Azula's reactions around Lo and Li being frustration, anger, irritation EVEN in scenes like The Beach, where Azula was FINE until she sees them? That shit is storytelling that went over sooooooo many heads, EVEN MINE! When I saw people going on about how canon Azula is... not insecure? Not angry? Has no frustrations and was only ever smirking 24/7? I... didn't feel that was right. I knew it wasn't right. And when I thought about it hard enough? I realized that one reason why this interpretation of Azula is IMMEDIATELY dismissable is because of Lo and Li: those two constantly made Azula angry. Even if that wasn't their intent, it's nonetheless the effect they'd have on her. And Azula didn't like having them around. She CLEARLY didn't appreciate them the way Zuko does Iroh, for instance! And this could be taken as a flaw on Azula's part... if we EVER saw evidence that these two ladies actually love Azula as a grandchild, or so. If we had any evidence that they actually have cared for her in ways nobody else ever did. If maybe the ones Zuko talks about, upon saying "EVERYONE LOVES AZULA" were these two! And maybe he was jealous of them! Maybe he wanted two old ladies to watch his every move and tell him his every flaw!

... Clearly I'm joking about that last thing, but anyway...

There's nothing to tell us Lo and Li were anything but Ozai's assigned watchdogs to keep control and tabs over Azula. That Azula's immediate reaction upon hearing that someone cares about her is "Oh fuck off, my dad sent you here because he doesn't trust me!" is... telling. It's not just paranoia speaking, even if it sure can be read that way! It's actually Azula's perception of those two, which is 100% supported by what we saw of the twins throughout the show, WHENEVER we did see them: their roles in Azula's life are indeed to keep tabs on her, to keep her under control, to pressure her into perfection, AS OZAI'S AGENTS! Seen this way, it MAKES SENSE for Azula to disregard their concern and immediately assume it's FAKE. She isn't even shown to doubt it, never questions that MAYBE they did care about her! She assumes they don't...

... And considering that, as far as I know, the official concept is that they BOTH LEFT when Azula banished one of them only? That they didn't contest her command, staying to look after her even if she only wanted one? I mean, clearly Azula can't tell them apart, so they could've taken turns: one watches over Azula for 12 hours and the other for the next 12 hours, I don't goddamn know! But they didn't do that. They LEFT. And if they left? It means they don't care remotely as much as they say they do. Not to the point where they'd challenge Azula's orders and help her when they KNOW she's not okay.

And all of this further supports my point.

When we see Azula in the liveaction being angry, bitter, irritable at Ozai's choices?

I see a reflection of the same dynamics that the OG too subtly weaved into Azula's relationship with Lo and Li. I see Azula reacting against Ozai's control over her because she feels it's DISTRUST. She feels it means her father STILL needs to be convinced that she's competent, powerful, ready to do his bidding. It isn't a case where Azula's irritation comes from wanting to rebel against her father... it's Azula wanting her father to UNDERSTAND that she's 100% his supporter and will put everything on the line to serve him and the Fire Nation.

And it's very damn easy to read that exact same thing into Azula's dynamics with Lo and Li as it is to see it EXPLICITLY STATED in the liveaction.

My point?

What the liveaction did is not nearly as much of a distant characterization choice as people think it is.

Ozai is Azula's Achilles' Heel. Everything she became, everything she grew up to be, was for his sake. He molded her to become those things and simply didn't give a shit about raising a daughter, he treated her as a weapon, and absolutely pitted his children against each other, just as much as OTHER adults in their lives did. But the impact of Ozai on Azula in the OG is easy to ignore. Why? Because we SELDOM see them interacting. Because we don't get that side of Azula's character fully explored. Because they didn't want to explore Ozai's character either! They were as cheap as they could be with all these aspects and so, only the people who really got into analyzing things on a deeper level would be able to say, without a doubt, that Ozai abused Azula emotionally with all the expectations and demands he put on his own child. Through the golden child-scapegoat dynamic that people have been bringing up non-stop in the past years.

So, proving herself to her father is what Azula wants to do, more than anything. Proving worthy of his favor, of his approval, is the closest thing she can get to feeling loved. Which is depressing as fuck. Azula gets zero affection: it's not even conditional affection, there's NOTHING for her besides approving words if she gets anything right. And this show's work with Azula's character? It was meant to make these things less invisible to all the fans who like to pretend none of it exists. And yes, I've seen them, crawling all over Twitter shitting themselves in fits of rage because how dare that show pretend Azula EVER had a bad time in her perfect flawless life!!

Well, the irony is that the OG gives you a smidge of evidence -- and yet that's enough -- to show that Ozai was doing very similar things to Azula in ATLA, and her reactions to it?

Huh. No smirks for Lo and Li.

No smirks for the symbols of Ozai's control over her life.

It's almost like the confidence, the smirks, the apparent ease with which she handles everything? Is a front that crumbles easily whenever it concerns the ONE PERSON with power over her life.

I don't believe, worth noting, that Azula's power comes from rage. I've seen people say that in fandom in the past and I find it a completely absurd take when Iroh himself spells out that her bending is about control, about precision, and it's Azula's FURY that makes her a sloppy mess in the finale. It's even INTENTIONAL that when she shoots lightning a second time, in her second establishing scene, THAT SAME HAIR FALLS OUT OF PLACE. She's still angry. She didn't get it "right" this time either. She's imperfect and she's trying NOT to be, but she cannot succeed. And upon bending lightning with emotions (rage/frustration)? That hair falls YET AGAIN out of place. Proof that she's not going to achieve the perfection she's being FORCED (indeed, by her father and the people who are here to represent him, Lo and Li) to strive for.

The liveaction had Ozai pushing Azula for a perfection she couldn't attain either. She's perfectly content in her cruelty at Ozai's side, right until she hears the Avatar was found and that Zuko has a shot at taking away the privileges she's been basking in so far. That she WASN'T nervous about this in canon is pretty damn obvious: OZAI SENT HER TO HUNT ZUKO DOWN FOR BEING A FAILURE. We never saw her reaction to learning that the Avatar was out and about. We have noooo idea what was canonically going on with her back then. The first time we see her besides the flashback is Azula receiving a mission that tells her she's STILL #1 and Zuko is no threat to her because Ozai thinks he's a failure. Thus? She had nothing to fear. Here? Ozai is actively using Zuko as bait to pressure Azula further. And if you're so confident in Ozai's good parenting skills as to believe he somehow WOULDN'T do that? Sounds like you don't understand the very basic and simplistic Fire Lord Ozai from ATLA, and that's not something to be proud of. So probably stop screaming your bad takes at the top of your lungs, because being incapable of understanding Ozai in canon is not a badge of pride, just saying...

FINAL POINT...

This post is not written expressly in the defense of the liveaction and its characterization of Azula. To this point, what I've seen of it doesn't feel WRONG or OFF unless you're the kind of person who thinks Azula is only capable of smirking and if she stops doing that she stops existing or something. Only people who cannot understand the depth, nuance, subtleties in Azula's story would ever be claiming that Azula's relationship with Ozai COUDLN'T be like this, or that Azula couldn't possibly be frustrated with her father or his choices when it's soooo clear what Ozai is going for, and why it's working. But in order to read Azula as a character capable of this range of emotion, frustration and ambition, all at once? You have to be able to treat this character, be it in the liveaction or the OG show, as a human being.

And that's what most the people criticizing this specific change are determined not to do. It's what makes them uncomfy. It's what rustles their jimmies.

Yes. I'm saying it in this very demeaning way because I actually find it quite ridiculous to be this insecure over the portrayal of a fictional 14yo in two TV shows. Whether the liveaction sticks the landing or fails catastrophically, I do not know... but I do know that if it's forcing a bunch of people to rethink Azula's character, and making them panic at the idea that she could EVER have human emotions, even if they're AWFUL human emotions?

Then I'm afraid you're only convincing me that, as bad as that show could ever get? It's getting SOMETHING right. I do love to see misinterpretations of Azula getting slammed in the face by the reality that all those beliefs, headcanons and takes in bad faith are actively, categorically untrue: none of which makes Azula a fundamentally good person, worth noting! But it makes it very clear that reading her as a one-dimensional basic villain, which is what the anti-Azula-redemption crowd actively does, is literally only possible if you overlook, ignore and fail to understand her character and her complexities, be it in the liveaction or in the original show.

There. I said my piece.

Another post, regarding the rest of the liveaction, is bound to come later. I'd say stay tuned but it might take me a while to write it at all. So... wait around and maybe you'll see it someday!

[mythicalcowboyatheart]

Untitled Johnathan Crane story

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Warnings: none

An: I haven't watched the dark knight trilogy since i was a child so probably ooc Jon but none the less hope y'all enjoy ❤️

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Y/N had been seeing Dr. Crane for over a year, struggling with anxiety and depression. At first, their sessions were formal and clinical, as she recounted her symptoms and he prescribed various treatments. But over time, a connection began to form between the two of them.

Y/N found herself looking forward to her appointments, excited to speak with the intelligent doctor. His piercing blue eyes seemed to look straight into her soul, and his gentle, reassuring manner put her at ease. She began to open up to him in ways she never had with anyone else.

As their discussions delved deeper into the roots of her mental health issues, Y/N felt a growing sense of trust and intimacy. Dr. Crane's genuine concern and thoughtful advice made her feel heard and understood in a way she hadn't experienced before.

One session, as Y/N was leaving, their eyes met and she felt a spark of electricity pass between them. The look lingered, and Y/N knew in that moment that her feelings for him had grown far beyond the doctor-patient relationship.

From then on, she found herself increasingly distracted during their sessions, hyper-aware of his proximity, the sound of his voice, the way his fingers drummed thoughtfully on his notepad. She yearned for their sessions to last longer, for any excuse to extend their time together.

It became a delicate dance, as Y/N tried to hide her growing feelings while also craving his attention and approval. She knew a romantic relationship would be unethical, but the pull towards Dr. Crane was becoming impossible to ignore.

One day, as the session was coming to a close, Y/N took a deep breath and decided to take a risk. "Dr. Crane," she said softly, "there's something I need to tell you."

His brow furrowed with concern. "What is it, Y/N?"

She looked into his eyes, her heart pounding. "I... I think I've fallen in love with you."

Y/N held her breath, waiting anxiously for Dr. Crane's response. She had taken a huge risk in confessing her love, knowing it could jeopardize their professional relationship.

To her surprise, Dr. Crane's expression softened, and he let out a deep sigh. "Y/N," he said gently, "I... I don't know what to say."

He paused, running a hand through his dark hair. "The truth is, I've found myself developing feelings for you as well. Feelings that go beyond the doctor-patient dynamic."

Y/N's heart leapt at his words. She had dared to hope, but hearing him admit it out loud was almost overwhelming.

"I've tried to push these feelings down, to maintain appropriate boundaries," Dr. Crane continued. "But every time we meet, it becomes harder to ignore the connection between us."

He reached across the desk, tentatively placing his hand over hers. "I care about you deeply, Y/N. More than I should, as your therapist."

Y/N felt a surge of joy and relief. She had been terrified of ruining everything, but now it seemed the feelings were mutual. Gently, she turned her hand over, lacing her fingers with his.

"I know this is complicated," she said softly. "And I don't want to jeopardize your career or our therapy. But I also can't ignore what I feel for you."

Dr. Crane nodded, his blue eyes filled with understanding. "Neither can I," he admitted. "I've tried, but you've found a way into my heart, Y/N. I don't know what to do about it, but I do know I care for you deeply."

Y/N felt a surge of hope. Perhaps, against all odds, they could find a way to make this work. She squeezed his hand, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Then let's figure it out. Together. Perhaps over dinner?"

"That would be wonderful Dr. Crane" she says with a small smile.

»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►

An: I will probably do a part 2 maybe with smut if y'all want

[starsreminisce]

Lucien Week

Day Seven: Free

Mask Part Two

The question loomed over them like an opulent, dazzling chandelier, casting a shadow of uncertainty.

But Elain's response transcended mere words; it manifested in myriad ways, leaving an indelible mark.

It was discernible in the puffiness that clung to her eyes the morning after, as she resumed her stoic facade.

It manifested in the unspoken chasm that had taken root between her and Azriel, a silent testament to the shifting dynamics of their relationship.

It was apparent in the gradual inches she surreptitiously moved closer to him, seeking solace and connection.

It was conveyed through the subtle turn of her head when Lucien discussed Princess Sigrid with their inner circle, a gesture that betrayed her concealed emotions.

It was evident in her wholehearted engagement in the mundane sessions and frivolous arguments, driven solely by the desire to hear Lucien's voice, her attention unwaveringly fixed on him.

It resonated in the rapid cadence of her heart when he turned his gaze toward her, a symphony of emotions playing out in the rhythm of her pulse. In moments of solitude, her heart retained a calm, unwavering beat.

It was unmistakable in the subtle slipping of her mask when Lucien continued to play the gracious host to the captivating Princess Sigrid, and in the princess's flirtatious responses to the charming courtier.

It was embodied in the raw, profound jealousy coursing through their bond, unrivaled by any emotion he had ever known, whenever Princess Sigrid placed her hand on him, or when she bestowed slow kisses on his cheeks, a rage as fierce as a forest fire surging within them.

Above all, it was reflected in the pain etched in Elain's eyes each time Lucien declined their invitations to dine with the princess, all in accordance with the princess's persistent requests.

Lucien longed for clarity, his hope no longer reliant on subtle cues and body language. As long as she remained silent about the question that loomed, his answer would forever be a resounding no.

"Would it not trouble you?" Lucien finally ventured as they lounged in the library after a taxing day of finalizing the treaty.

"That I must present this to my father, who possesses no interest in eradicating slavery?" the princess contemplated.

"That I am bound by a mating bond," Lucien sighed.

The princess regarded him, and he had to concede that she was not only beautiful but also brilliant, forward-thinking, and compassionate. Her concerns about the institution of slavery stemmed from her fear that not everyone would readily embrace its abolition.

He had sworn never to marry for anything less than love, especially as the son of a High Lord, but perhaps he had been looking at it all wrong. Being married to someone who enjoyed his company seemed far preferable to being mated to someone who did not.

"Both of us find ourselves in a precarious situation," Princess Sigrid remarked evenly. "Love may not be a luxury we can afford, given that we are commodities in the political alliances of our respective courts."

He furrowed his brow. "Did Beron approach you with this proposition?"

"Anyone seeking an alliance with Vallahan has made their overtures," she replied with a nonchalant shrug. "My own brother had his mate coerced into breaking their bond because my father deemed the match unsuitable."

"Do I resemble a prized stallion to you?" Lucien quipped wryly.

Princess Sigrid met his gaze with unblinking directness. "Rhysand certainly knows how to leverage your talents. I've heard that the human lands are thriving, the Spring Court is flourishing, and the Night Court's reputation has transformed from unfavorable to coveted."

Lucien chuckled. "So I am, it seems."

"If your mate fails to recognize your worth," Princess Sigrid said, returning to her book, "then seek companionship elsewhere. A mating bond does not equate to love."

"And what if she were to accept it eventually?"

"Then she can join us," Princess Sigrid shrugged, her smirk undeniably mischievous. "After all, I'll need both your assistance in ensnaring Eris as a husband."

Lucien burst into hearty laughter. "I must admit, I'm quite fond of you."

Their private moment was abruptly interrupted by the soft, almost inaudible footsteps that announced Elain's entrance into the library. Her gaze was cold, a stark contrast to the warmth of the room, and Lucien could practically hear the anger and frustration brewing beneath her calm exterior as she observed their closeness.

"Ah, Lady Elain," Princess Sigrid chimed cheerfully. "I was eagerly anticipating a chance to speak with you."

Elain's smile reached her eyes, but their bond betrayed the turmoil within her. "Rhysand would be delighted if the two of you could join us for dinner tonight, given that it's your last evening here."

Sigrid, not one to shy away from tension, turned to Lucien and ran her hand through his hair in an intimate gesture, her voice dripping with sweetness. "I suppose I have been somewhat selfish in monopolizing Lucien's time."

Lucien could feel the electricity in the room intensify, his heart pounding as he witnessed the silent clash of wills between Elain and Princess Sigrid. Elain's civility barely concealed her true emotions, and the air crackled with unspoken rivalry.

Maintaining her composure, Princess Sigrid responded to Elain's invitation with honeyed words. "How gracious of you, Lady Elain. I would be honored to dine with you this evening."

As she leaned in to kiss Lucien on the cheek, she whispered, "Do you think she'll poison me or stab me for touching you like that?"

"Enough," Lucien said, leaning in closer to her.

Princess Sigrid giggled and gracefully left the room, sauntering past Elain. "I need to freshen up. I'll meet you there."

Lucien closed his book and rose from his seat. To his surprise, Elain finally spoke. "I'm surprised you didn't follow your betrothed, especially when I have yet to provide you with an answer regarding our bond."

"You misunderstand me if you think I will wait indefinitely for you, like a helpless fool," Lucien retorted.

"Is all of this just a ploy to pressure me into giving you an answer?" Elain inquired, her eyes probing his.

Lucien reached her, their faces mere inches apart. "No, Elain. You've already given me your answer through your silence."

"She doesn't love you," she whispered, her lips parting ever so slightly.

It was challenging for Lucien to meet her gaze, especially when her vulnerability was laid bare. It was difficult to resist the urge to hold her, to reassure her, as the jealousy transformed into nervousness and her heart beat erratically beneath her icy facade.

“I don’t need her to,” came Lucien’s reply.

Elain's eyes bore into Lucien's, and she paused for a moment, considering his response. After a moment of silence, she finally spoke, her voice filled with an earnest, almost reluctant sincerity.

"Lucien," she began, her tone soft and contemplative, "will you truly be happy, knowing that you're not loved in the way you deserve to be?"

Lucien's gaze softened, and he took a deep breath, contemplating her question. He understood the weight of her concern and the depth of her feelings.

"Does it scare you?" he asked her once again, his voice gentle and searching. "That you'll never see me again?"

The silence hung heavy between them, an unspoken acknowledgment of the painful crossroads they had reached. Elain's eyes searched his, filled with a mix of sadness, longing, and a growing sense of resolve.

"I can't keep living like this," Lucien finally confessed, his voice tinged with weariness. "One of us needs to make a decision, and if you want to change it, then change it."

Elain's gaze didn't waver, her emotions laid bare. She hesitated, wrestling with her own inner turmoil before she spoke, her voice trembling slightly, "So, you'd rather never see me again than hold out hope?"

"Yes," Lucien replied, the word heavy with the truth that had been festering within him for far too long. "And if that scares you, then please let me know. But, Elain, I am leaving to get the treaty signed, and I'll be there for as long as it takes."

A heavy silence hung in the room, and Lucien's heart sank with the weight of uncertainty. He couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again, but he also couldn't continue living in this agonizing limbo.

Lucien watched as Elain's eyes shimmered, resembling delicate dew-kissed petals basking in the soft, golden light that filtered through the library's grand windows. Her fingers, as fragile as spun gold threads, quivered with anticipation, reaching out to bridge the chasm that had separated them for so long.

In a moment of raw vulnerability, she closed the remaining distance between them. Her lips met his with a tenderness that spoke volumes, as if each kiss held an unsung note in their unfinished symphony. The taste of salt from her tears lingered, adding a bittersweet melody to their connection.

Their kiss was a desperate plea, a silent cry, and an intimate confession all at once. It was a plea for him to grasp the depth of her feelings, to understand the intricate web of emotions that had ensnared her heart. In that fleeting moment, they wove a tapestry of longing and love, with each kiss acting as a golden thread binding their souls together, strengthening a bond that transcended the boundaries of time and circumstance.

As their lips finally parted, she looked into his eyes, her voice trembling. "Please, return. I don't want to lose you, not like this."

Lucien's response was an unexpected twist in the melodrama of their entangled emotions. "Come with me," he urged, the words sincere and hopeful.

Elain blinked in surprise. "What?"

"You know the treaty," he pressed. "Come with me."

She hesitated, her thoughts racing. "I don't… It's too short of notice."

Lucien's eyes held a compelling blend of determination and longing as he spoke. "We'll figure it out together," he assured her, his voice laced with a quiet, unwavering certainty.

But Elain's reaction was far from what he had hoped for. Crushed, she pulled away from him, shaking her head, and without another word, she made her way to the dining room, leaving Lucien behind with a heavy heart.

Regret gnawed at him as he sighed, chastising himself for pushing her too quickly. In the wake of Elain's departure, Princess Sigrid appeared, her frown revealing her understanding of the situation. "I heard. I'm sorry. I did want her there too," she offered sympathetically.

Lucien, ever the master of his own emotions, concealed his inner turmoil behind a practiced smile. "Well," he said, slipping back into the role of the courtier who could never have his heart broken, "it was worth a try. She is my mate, after all."

The dinner proceeded unceremoniously, marked by Azriel's absence. Laughter and banter filled the room, with Rhys and Cassian playfully teasing Lucien by addressing him with variations of 'your highness' and 'your majesty.' Feyre attempted to hide her sadness at her friend's impending departure, while Nesta, true to her character, made a cheeky request that brought blushes to a few faces.

Yet, beneath the facade of cheer, Rhys's reminder that Lucien remained under the Night Court's employ until the treaty's finalization cut deep, grounding them all in the complexities of their situation.

A flicker of hope fluttered through their bond, only to be swiftly extinguished when Princess Sigrid playfully mentioned a 'deadline' in a way that hinted at secrets and unspoken agreements.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, all eyes turning to Elain, and it was Nesta who posed the unspoken question, "You do know Lucien has a mate, right?"

Princess Sigrid answered first, her smile unwavering. "I do," she confirmed.

Lucien chimed in, "She's aware."

Elain's concern was evident as she voiced her unease, "That doesn't bother you?"

As the challenge hung in the air like an unspoken duel, the room brimmed with tension. Lucien watched, torn between the desire for a future with Elain and the reality of his situation with Princess Sigrid.

With a serene smile, Princess Sigrid responded, "No, it doesn't bother me."

Elain's brow furrowed as she pushed further, "But it should. He will never truly be yours. He has a mate."

Princess Sigrid's reply was filled with wisdom and calm determination, "Love and possession are not the same, Lady Elain. I understand the complexities of his situation, but I choose to cherish the moments we will have together. If you don’t like where it’s going, change it. Take a leap of faith. Cauldron knows we live far too long to be confined in situations that define us."

The dinner continued, marked by quiet contemplation and a sense of understanding. The night concluded, and the following morning, the inner circle gathered to bid farewell to Princess Sigrid.

Finalizing the treaty took just a few days, and Lucien's departure date was swiftly set. He and Elain had not spoken since their last encounter, and he had come to terms with her unspoken answer. He knew that he wanted all or nothing, and her silence signified 'nothing.'

The day before his departure, he penned a heartfelt letter to Elain. In it, he expressed his gratitude for the moments they had shared, his hopes for her happiness, and an understanding that their paths had diverged. He gently suggested that she reject the bond two days after he had left, to avoid any turmoil that might ensue.

His final words conveyed his longing for happiness and his prayers that she would find hers too. The night before he left, there was a small dinner in his honor, but neither Elain nor Azriel attended.

As he prepared for his journey, sleep eluded him. He wondered whether the distance and the distraction would be enough to mend his aching heart, without the burden of hope. He relished watching the dawn break over Velaris, feeling the thrill of a new adventure ignite within him. The inner circle didn't want to say goodbye, hoping that his departure was only temporary, and Lucien preferred it that way.

As Lucien approached the dock, his heart pounding in his chest, he couldn't help but notice a small figure standing there, waiting for him. Elain looked up as he neared her, their eyes meeting once more, and in that moment, the air was thick with unspoken emotions.

She waved his letter and spoke with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, "I think if I were to reject the bond in two days, it'll be a pain dealing with you when we are on that ship together."

Lucien's brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you…"

But before he could finish his sentence, she kissed him. It was a soft, sweet kiss that held the promise of something more. He responded urgently, his desire and longing finally finding release in their embrace.

"I would have done neither stabbing nor poisoning," Elain whispered, her voice barely louder than a breath. "I would have ruined her in court with rumors."

A surge of hope coursed through Lucien's veins as he dared to ask, "Does that mean you're coming with me?"

In response, she pulled another letter from her pocket, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "It's hard to ignore when a Princess summons you. But she said that she was worried you'd be too distracted missing me to pay attention to making sure the treaty would pass. And she misses my murderous glares."

Lucien couldn't resist the urge to kiss her once more, a fervent and passionate kiss filled with the promise of forever. He thought to himself, "I'll have this forever. I'll have her forever."

She turned around and handed him an apple muffin, a sweet gesture that touched his heart. "I made this for you."

With a playful glint in his eye, Lucien teased, "I don't know, Elain. I mean, I did get a marriage proposal from a Princess."

Elain's frown deepened, and she urged him, "Lucien, stop playing around."

With a mischievous gleam in his eyes, he leaned in close, whispering against her neck, "I've waited two years," his lips brushed her skin, eliciting a small gasp, "you can wait until we're on the ship."

[cevansbrat0007]

I am so happy about the Lonely Hearts Club series! Lately I feel I’ve been reading so much about readers punishments and their relationship/dynamic that I kinda forgot reader is a independent bad bitch 😅 don’t get me wrong, I love all the GP reads… literally love every single one of them. But it’s kinda refreshing to see reader stand her ground and make Andy do what she needs! Can’t wait for part two!

Thank you! I know I've been writing a lot about their relationship dynamics lately, specifically related to the D/s (Daddy/baby girl) aspect of things. Because it's fun exploring other elements Andy employs during Reader's punishments/funishments.

But Reader has always been an independent spirit, but she's not made of stone. Andy came in hot when he first met her and, quite honestly, he never really stopped. That man is intense. He's a force. He's a menace.

That said, he would never want to eclipse his Baby Girl or clip her wings - even when they're playing one of their many brat taming games. I look forward to showcasing more situations where she finds herself going toe-to-toe with Andy.

After all, Mr. Barber means well. He loves the Reader to the point of distraction, but sometimes he allows his possessive and overprotective nature to run the show a little too much. As @birdie-girl put it, Andy is "stubborn as a mule". And it's never gonna change.

Reader is just going to have to keep standing her ground without allowing herself to become distracted by a certain someone. And I plan to show that in *future fics.

But keep in mind, that will always be easier said than done when Andrew Barber's involved. He practically oozes charm and should therefore be illegal.

*Future fic examples will include but are not limited to:

The rest of The Lonely Hearts Club mini-series. Read Part One -OR- check out the teaser for Part Two.

Andy and Reader's initial fight over bills when she first moves into his place. He doesn't want her to pay for shit, which leads to a pretty big argument.

The time when Andy's overprotectiveness during a work meeting pushed Reader a little too far.

The promised sequel to Distant.

The upcoming mini-series that centers around Andy's discovery of Reader's secret Emergency fund.

Let me know what you think! Happy to discuss any and all of the ideas above with anyone who's interested. And, of course, I am always accepting new ideas as well.

[myers-meadow]

I'm definitely more a fan of spawn Astarion myself. I can certainly understand why Ascended Astarion is appealing to others and far be it from me to stop them. Besides, media of all kinds is a way to explore thoughts, feelings, and dynamics in a safer and more controlled way (that isn't to say that media can't have negative effects, as it absolutely can, but that's a separate discussion I don't have the mental bandwidth to go into). You can walk away from the piece of media if you want/need to. For me, I personally see a romance with an Ascended Astarion as one that is or will eventually become unhealthy in one or more ways (I honestly thought that it was a good portrayal of enablement). I also understand that these elements are what many others find compelling about it. I'm rambling now and worry that I'm ultimately unequipped to continue on this particular tangent without fumbling it and/or coming across as haughty or pretentious (I'm admittedly already anxious about that with what I have wrote), so I'm just going to end it here and nervously await your reply.

i understand, that's fair! We both love Astarion, even if we prefer a different end to the story we've personally been building with our Tav/Durge throughout the course of the game. That love for the character is what connects us and is more important than our differences.

I understand why you see A!A as enablement, but in my case, with my Tav, there's not such clear dynamic. I'm not arguing that it's never unhealthy or that your take is wrong! Just trying to explain where I'm coming from. The story I've created is still a bit of a tragic one, but the relationship isn't unhealthy or toxic in such a way.

I've always liked villains. My old masterlist has characters on it that are arguably way worse, morally speaking, than Astarion. I love when villains have fun being evil and are unapologetic about who they are. Astarion and Raphael fall very nicely under this category 💜.

Even though A!A feels all powerful and invulnerable, that's only gonna last him so long, and after that, I do see him heal, bit by bit, in a messy, non-linear, imperfect manner. The difference w spawn is that he's not forced by circumstance (having to give up his dream of ascension, the disappointment, missing the sun, lacking the group of misfits as greater support net etc...) to do that healing on any timeline but his own. Halsin also took a good century to heal, and Astarion can too.

I'll spare you the long ramblings about my tav! It's on my list to write about her and her polymance, and as I was compasing this ask in my head, I came up with three more scenes to write😅.

To end this, we've both played the game with the same spawn Astarion as our companion for the first 2 (and half) acts. Please don't worry your anxious self over this 🫂, I'm not taking offense. Your opinions are valid, worth hearing and i'm glad we find enjoyment in the same game and characters🥰🧡.

Xoxo

Ps I look forward to getting to ~tail ask~ after Ostara! ^^

[welcometoteyvat]

love your thoughts on character’s ages. looking forward to fontaine & sumeru :) i think you described it really well. ages for my are like… they exist but they don’t at the same time.

edit: OH MY GOD TUMBLRS EDITOR FORMATTING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! if you see random parts of words bolded PLEASE ignore i dont know why it keeps happening

if you're the same anon as the og ask i am so so so sorry about the delay T_T T_T i was drafting my answer and then boom life happened ..... anyways. thank you for enjoying my thoughts wah <3333333 "they exist but they don't" SAME SAME frfr. like the most on-point (internet) discussion I've read on ages is that the stage of life you're in is often the only factor that matters, and that can vary a lot based on like your past experiences and stuff. and from my own perspective this holds true—similarly, in genshin where all the playable characters have jobs it's hard to kind of quantify them into really distinct age ranges tbh. sometimes it's just vibes (unfortunately vibes often includes height bc it's a game w not very diverse model types). anyways! character hcs:

sumeru (sans scaramouche): collei, cyno, tighnari, faruzan, layla, nilou

i think collei has an actual canon age right? unless I'm tripping and fanon has solidified so much in everyone's minds. I still haven't read the manhua <3 but iirc people think she's 12-13 there right. maybe she's like 17 rn, i can see anywhere from 14-16 though. idk anything abt her timeline so these are quite literally guesstimates from vibes and they're likely to be wrong. Layla is such a college girlie, she's like 19-20 and sleep deprived (same fr); begging for her to catch a break on behalf of uni students everywhere. I don't have a set age for Faruzan, I can see her anywhere from 30-40, 26 years old minimum (the redesigns people give her where she looks visibly older are so cool <3). Given she was a pretty well known researcher back in her day and since academia is a long and arduous career choice, I think it makes sense; also if she's like way older than Kaveh appearance wise (≥ 10 years) , even if she hadn't gotten trapped for a century, that would be sick af (their dynamic is impeccable and I think a larger age difference makes it better, sweeter, and funnier). Nilou also feels 19-20 years old to me; no real explanation, she just has a young adult vibe, like someone just out of her teenage years but quite capable at managing her life, although still testing out responsibility for major decisions and stuff like that (age solidarity w yun jin)

iirc cyno was already mahamatra or something WHILE tighnari was still in school; thus this makes cynonari EXTREMELY funny if you're a moral purist who ships it and thinks they fell in love in their akademiya days LOL. jkjk it's also a reasonable interpretation that Cyno became mahamatra at an insanely young age, since uhhh fucked up temple of silence background smth smth and honestly it feels in character for him to go buck wild at a young age like that (person most suited for young collei fr). HOWEVER. personally I think being mahamatra at like 19 is insane—thus I think tighnari's probably 23, cyno might be 27? I don't know if that makes it """""""better""""""" from an age gap standpoint but I also don't really care. Cyno being older but more joking around friends, while Tighnari is the younger kohai but serious and no-nonsense is pretty funny to me and when they're both serious you know you're fucked

fontaine: lyney, lynette, freminet (are those the only medium youth models so far lol. damn)

anyways lyney and lynette are confirmed to be at least 10 from Lyney's story quest. such helpful information I know lol. I'd think they're probably around 19-20? 18 minimum—I personally wouldn't watch 18 year olds do gravity defying magic tricks at the nation's biggest opera house—being like 1 year older doesn't make it any better ofc lol, but I think they're above the teenage threshold bc of that. Kinda fucked up to think about the timeline and house of hearth stuff though with this in mind

Freminet I'd say is around 16; 14 minimum. No thoughts for this just vibes. mmmmm idk when he was adopted into the house, if he's around 4-5 years younger than L+L, and let's say they entered the House when they were maybe 6-9 (my headcanons, is it now possible to piece together an accurate timeline of this from in-game lore??), and that was maybe 3-4 years after freminet entered, he probably was like 5-7 when he entered... wah frem............. poor child I'm giving him a hug (knowing that he's also a killing machine)

[acourtofthought]

Hello I absolutely adore your account, I love the thought you put behind everything and the close reading you do. I know your content primarily focuses on future things and theories but I had a question concerning Mor. So despite finishing all the books I’m still a little confused about the dynamic between her cass and az. Like it’s clear that az loved/loves her, but Cass’s relationship w her isn’t as clearly stated. Him being a buffer is confusing bc it implies he’s like okay w hurting Az for Mor’s sake (I.e. massaging Mor’s feet in front of Az knowing Az is uncomfortable?). I understand cass’s intention is to shield Mor for her sake but it’s confusing that he’d do it at Azriel’s expense. Furthermore there’s that part when Mor was explaining to Feyre that she wanted to lie w one of Illyria’s greatest warriors, and she says smthn like “he can’t stand that I never looked back” and Rhys confirms that it “drives [cassian] insane.” I find it odd bc that implies cassian liked her or would’ve pursued more w her if she consented. So does this mean cassian actually liked her beyond physical attraction? I just find that the text goes back and forth with this. Like yes cassian is in a platonic space w her by the time we’re introduced to them in acomaf but the implications about their relationship in the past is just unclear. Could you help clear this up for me please it confuses me every time I read about it.

Hello and thank you for the message!!

My take on the Mor / Cassian / Az situation is this:

In the Wings and Embers Bonus Chapter Cassian tells us that he was initially jealous of the shy glances Mor was sending Azriel's way. For two reasons. One was because he could tell Azriel was interested in Mor and he felt like he was having to share one of his brothers for the first time and also because Azriel was the one she "chose". So when Mor asked Cassian to bed her, he took her up on the offer. He felt guilty immediately (because he knew his actions were driven by jealousy) but still tells us that he felt attraction to Mor.

Cassian is a character who can't turn away from a challenge. So when Mor never sent interest his way again, I think it was less about him actually being in love with her (though he was obviously attracted to her) and more that she slept with him and could have cared less to have a second round. I don't think Cassian even wanted a second round because he felt so guilty the first time but his ego was bruised when she basically said, "Meh. I don't need to do that again."

Eventually that lust turned into more platonic feelings but he notes Mor was always something between a friend and lover.

We do find that since the Bonus Chapter (which occurred in ACOMAF while Nesta was still human), Cassian has moved beyond the "between friends and lovers stage" and views Mor only as a sister.

As far as him being a buffer, I think it's one of those situations where he's trying to keep things between Mor and Azriel from getting too heavy. He cared a great deal for her (in a complicated way) but if he was observant enough to realize that she wasn't receptive to Az's advances, he was playing his part to help her put up a few walls with Az. And yes, he definitely loves Az too but I think that since he could tell Mor wasn't looking to move forward with Az, he was almost protecting Az by not letting him get too hopeful that he and Mor might be something.

It's all extremely messy and I think because of how the three started off, it sort of doomed their relationships from ever being normal. Had any of them been willing to sit down and have a real conversation about it then I think it wouldn't have turned into what it was but because they ALL wanted to avoid the discussion it's been an awkward as hell situation for all three.

I hope that sounded like it made a little bit of sense! It's how I've interpretated their relationship based on the information we've been given.

Have a great night! 😊

[irishanimefan]

One Piece Anime Watchalong: Sky Island Saga 1/2

Jaya (144-152)

Started: 20/9/23 Finished: 23/9/23

Hey guys! It's been a while since I last talked about the One Piece anime, but after making the OPLA video, I needed a bit of a little break away from doing anything OP related. Anyway, I'm back talking about OP again and this time, we're venturing into new territories, and by that I mean we're ascending up towards the skies! That does mean that I had to skip three back-to-back filler arcs, which aren't that long in the grand scheme of things. Like I've said before, I will get around to those filler arcs soon, probably after we're done with the first half as a little breather.

To pick up where we left off, the Straw Hats have just recently added Nico Robin to their crew. I realise now that I forgot to talk about her when discussing the previous arc, but I have been very intrigued by her character. It's revealed that she has been considered a notorious threat by the World Government ever since she sunk six warships when she was just a child, leaving her with a bounty of 79 million berries. Ever since then, she has been working with Crocodile in order to find the ancient weapon known as Pluton, which its location can be found by reading the poneglyph in Alubarna, which Robin is the only one who can read its script. That's a lot of lore to take in for me at the moment, but from what I understand on a thematic level, Robin seems like she has no sense of free will. Thus, since she "fulfilled" her obligation with Crocodile, she thinks that she has no reason to live anymore. That is until Luffy saves her against her wishes, and so, as a punishment, she is now travelling with the Straw Hats. So far, her more mature and dignified presence amongst the rowdy and childish group dynamic is a welcome change of pace, and I look forward to see her get more involved in the story.

Anyway, let's get onto the arc proper. It starts off, as always, with a great hook: a giant pirate ship suddenly falls from the sky, almost killing the Straw Hats. I've noticed that almost every OP arc begins with a big set piece to ease viewers into a new arc, and I think this one is my favourite so far. You, along with the rest of the cast, have so many questions, like what the hell is a pirate ship doing up in the sky? Anyway, within the ruins they find a map of Skypiea, an island located up in the sky, and since the log pose is pointing upwards, that must be their next destination. But before getting to that point, they find themselves on Jaya island to find more information about the sky island.

I'm in two minds about this arc. I'll start with the positives because there were so many great moments that happened in this arc. Firstly, the stuff in Mock Town was fantastic. The location itself looks like any other port town, but underneath the surface is a cruel and mean-spirited atmosphere amongst those who visit it. The person who encapsulates this conceit is Bellamy, a relatively new pirate captain with already an impressive bounty on his head (55 million). His personality is so brash and cocky who, despite being so fresh on the scene, thinks he's got the world all figured out. This is posited by his main philosophy that dreams are worthless and have no place in this new age of piracy. It is the polar opposite of Luffy's beliefs, which abrasively clashes when him, Zoro, and Nami visit the local pub to get more information about the sky island. Upon inquiring about it, they are ridiculed by everybody, especially by Bellamy, who lectures them about it and how he rejects the notion that a sky island actually exists and also rejects the notion that even the One Piece itself doesn't exist. You can see that Bellamy has struck a nerve with all three Straw Hats, even provoking Nami who initially wanted the boys to stay civil. However, even though she gives them permission to fight him, Luffy orders Zoro to "not attack them, by any means", and lets Bellamy and his crew to beat them up. I got chills at this scene, because it's obvious that Luffy fundamentally disagrees with everything Bellamy has just said, but with someone as stubborn in their ways like Bellamy, is he even worth fighting for that slight boost in ego?

But, that makes the following scene all the more impactful. After letting Bellamy wail on them, Nami drags the severely injured Luffy and Zoro out of the bar, only to encounter someone in the street to say that the sky island does, in fact, exist. The person who said that was Marshall D. Teach, who is later revealed to be Blackbeard but more on that revelation later. The speech he gave to the Straw Hats about Bellamy's idea of the new age of piracy being wrong, and topping that off with him declaring that "people's dreams... never die!" Chills. To onlookers, he appears to be some drunkard spewing a rubbish philosophy, but to viewers like me whose been watching this journey unfold up until this point, it encapsulated everything that the series is all about. However, despite how affirming that speech should be to Luffy, he instead gives the man a blank, expressionless stare. What Teach is saying is reminiscent of the lessons that Shanks and Ace have imparted onto him, Luffy is still very wary of what Teach's true intentions are. He obviously speaks of a code of piracy that Luffy may agree with, but if some greater opportunity comes up, will he abandon those ideals in favour of using others to further his own career. And by the end, when Teach finds out about Luffy's current bounty and resumes his activities as Blackbeard, those suspicions were confirmed. I have no doubt we'll return to this at a later date, but it's given me a lot to think about.

While those moments are definitely the highlights and rank among some of my favourite OP moments, what drags this arc down for me a bit is the stuff involving Masira, Shojo, and Montblanc Cricket. Not to say that the scenes involving them weren't any good; they were fun to watch on screen and the whole fairytale aspect involving Noland the Liar was a really nice touch. But, compared to the more thought provoking content that was on display earlier in the arc, it was kind of a step down from that. Also hindering it for me was the fact that it didn't really go anywhere sometimes. For example, Usopp's confronting Cricket about whether his intentions are good kind of came out of nowhere and were resolved just as quickly as it was brought up. That part kind of confused me because it makes sense for Usopp to be initially reluctant to whatever reckless idea that comes their way, but it felt really forced in this instance. At least the Straw Hats trying to find the South Bird to know which way to go was cute.

Last thing I want to bring up before we wrap up is the fact that the arc's penultimate episode packed a lot of content into its runtime. There was the fight between Luffy and Bellamy that took up the first half. It was way shorter than a lot of the fights we've seen up until this point, almost to a comical degree, but it was so satisfying to see Bellamy go down after Luffy's one singular punch to the cheek. Then the rest of the episode was dedicated in expanding the world outside the main Straw Hat unit. It was like a carousel of new characters being introduced. Five elders who had senior positions in the World Government; two warlords of the sea Donquixote Doflamingo and Bartholomew Kuma in order to discuss who to replace Crocodile as a Warlord; we finally get to see what Whitebeard looks like, albeit concerningly hooked up to multiple IV drips. However, probably the biggest revelation in this arc was Blackbeard and his crew whose goal is to capture Luffy after catching wind of his current bounty, boosting his status high enough for him to be recognised by the World Government to make him one of the seven Warlords of the sea. We also catch up with Shanks and the Red Hair pirates, who after failing to communicate with Whitebeard via letter decides to give him a personal visit. This was a lot for the series to casually drop in like its nothing, but it was still fascinating to see all the cogs turning elsewhere while the Straw Hats are doing their own thing. Shows that the actions that have been taken by the main unit have real ripple effects throughout the world.

Overall, I thought this arc was alright. It wasn't as dense as the arcs that came before it, for the most part, but I don't think that was its intention. This arc is clearly structured like a prologue to the next big adventure we're about to embark on, so it can be pretty easy to gloss over it. But, when it does show those typical OP sparks, then it really does shine. Anyway, let's keep moving forward, as we take to the skies for real this time! Join me next time, when we will be focusing on the Skypiea arc! Like with Alabasta, it's another long one so it'll probably take a while, but hopefully when I finish it, it'll be worth it!

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

[ectonurites]

thoughts on todays releases?

OKAY I'm a bit behind on a few books so I don't have commentary for everything but to go over what I did get a chance to read [spoilers ahead!!!!]

Aquaman: The Becoming #4 - Admittedly I've been going into this book with very little knowledge of recent goings on with any of the characters, so it's been a lot of just taking things at face value (which is def different than me approaching Bat comics where I may notice inconsistencies with recent things more) but I thought the lore stuff about Jackson's mom today was really interesting. I'm not the biggest fan of the 'surprise sibling' trope which was how the last issue ended, but it is nice having like, his mom as part of this so we know yes Delilah is in fact his sister it's not a fake-out or anything, and seeing how that plays out. I also just... love complicated family dynamics, so this is interesting and tense in a way that appeals to me. I'm curious how Lucia's side of the story might differ though based on how she said Meeka was twisting things.

Detective Comics #1046 - WE LOVE TO SEE STEPH REFERRING TO HERSELF AS BATGIRL! Like I know she is officially one of 'The Batgirls' but getting to see her use the singular 'Batgirl' for herself just... feels so good. Also getting to see her interact with Helena! We love purple girls, and just the way Steph is always trying to help. In general Helena's stuff in the 'tec run has been really interesting so far, the visions as a lingering side effect from the Vile stuff is really cool and I'm glad they've kept it going. I'm super looking forward to Shadows of the Bat also, which this kinda helped move pieces into position for that since it starts next issue. While I do think that the concept of Arkham Tower- putting a version of Arkham in the middle of the city- is just absurd in so many ways (when I first mentioned to my mom that was a thing she burst out laughing because how the hell does anyone in-universe think that's a good idea) I'm still really curious to see how it's all gonna play out.

DC Vs. Vampires #3 - Hal basically being just the [gunshot warning in video] Eric Andre: Who Killed Hannibal? meme about Barry's death has been too funny ever since the preview dropped. Overall I'm so along for the ride with this, it's just vampire chaos. ALSO ZATANNA.... QUEEN.... queen. Adore her design here. The ending was a fun thing too, I think Hal & Diana choosing Bruce of all people to frame for Barry's murder is gonna be a fascinating choice when we get to the start of the next issue, just seeing the discussion that brings. The guy with the biggest thing against killing being framed. It's bold. Daring. OH also Dinah, Roy & Ollie having their little group... love it. Like last issue we saw the Bats together as a family unit so I'm glad we can see other hero families having a similar idea.

Robin #9 - We love the power of friendship and teamwork! Truly embracing the shonen anime vibe of this whole run so far. Alfred's ghost's presence in the book has been something I've loved so far, and the way he was used in this issue I especially liked. Altho I really dislike Rose being like 'stop flirting!!!' when Damian and Flatline just talk to each other like sgdfhgfh they will just be having a normal conversation and everyone's like 'ugh get a ROOM' like. I'm tired. I hope that stops soon, because otherwise I do really like Flatline & her interactions with Damian. I don't even mind it being a romantic thing between them (like, Damian's 14 now, that's when Tim was having all sorts of romance plots back in his Robin solo) but having others comment on it that way makes it feel forced when there is an interesting dynamic forming there that doesn't need that. Also the ending was such a cool OH SHIT moment I'm so so so curious to see where things pick up with that next issue, and how he's gonna get back to the present/what new things about Ra's he's gonna find out in the past.

Task Force Z #3 - Bringing up Jason's thoughts about killing in direct relation to Alfred's death? Which provides some reasoning that actually... makes his choice to stay away from killing for the time being make a bit more sense for him, connecting it to his own guilt and loss? Then having Hanna suggest he forgive Bane for what he did... and him at the first available opportunity where he knew it'd actually mean something basically saying 'fuck forgiveness' and pushing Bane off a building for what he did to Alfred? Telling his higher-ups that Bane's gone- attempting to ensure that he won't get more Lazarus Resin to come back to life so essentially trying to re-kill him? HELL. YEAH. (solicits for future issues do let us know that Bane's def not staying dead, but hey, Jason tried) Again, I wouldn't have gone down this 'no killing no guns' path with Jason in the first place, I still don't like it as a general direction, but this is at least going down that path in an interesting way. We love revenge, revenge is a very Jason thing. Also the ending! I really hadn't been thinking all that much about who Crispin might be so him actually being Two-Face was a fun reveal. In hindsight, the pair of twin scientists was probably a clue. Like we knew he'd be involved in the book from solicits for future issues but this wasn't the way I expected it.

Teen Titans Academy #10 - So as a whole, I've definitely thought the strongest parts of this book have been focusing on the new students/new characters, and this issue had some Dane & Red X stuff that I thought was at least like, interesting. Dane saying his father is 'The Dark Lord'/Dane being called the Antichrist plus his physical similarities to how DC's Lucifer has been depicted (especially with his wings now like. come on) is just making me 👀 like are they gonna namedrop him? And of course, there's the main reason I'm still reading this book, I am curious what the deal is with Red X. I liked him in this issue being less of the just mysterious shadowy figure and a lot more of a vulnerable kid, plus him choosing not to leave Dane when he could have. I really didn't like the bits with the senior Titans in this issue though, idk. As a whole them being teachers and shit in the first place still feels so weird to me, it's super just not my ideal dynamic for a version of the Titans. All the 'Mr.' and 'Ms.' usage with their hero names just sounds so silly every time. The bit I disliked the most though was Roy misgendering Stitch like.... I get the reasoning, Roy only just got there and hasn't really met them before this moment, but hghghgghhh just didn't like it!! Did not think it was necessary.

so ya! my disjointed thoughts.

[nightswithkookmin]

RE MEMORIES 2020 TKK

I'm losing my mind😭😭😭😭

Sigh.

When it comes to those two, I think I've said and I maintain the company's move to intervene and facilitate their bond predates memories 2019.

If anything, the end of 2020 is when they actively started consciously pairing them in content and 2021 is when we've seen that kind of conscious curation of 'ships' become more frequent and routine- pack it up Bighit. We know about Jikook and we know what y'all doing lately too. Y'all ain't fooling nobody.

We discussed this bit on the other platform.

What happened. We used to be so close.

I really don't expect to see much of Tae Kook in memories 2020. I really don't. In 2021 memories, sure. In 2020, not so much.

But that don't mean they don't have any TKK moments at all. We are still gonna get something. Especially early 2020 when those two were at a really good place- with Tae providing a lot of emotional support for JK and JK allowing himself to be vulnerable with him.

I just don't expect it to be of the same quality or quantity as say JinKook or Jikook. Unless, like I said BigHit editors consciously 'aided' them- like they've been doing lately.

I think we talked about this on the other platform. I was happy about their end of year selca only to find out they had deliberately taken that photo for the fans- who is FANSERVICE NOW?

KARMA IS A JIKOOKER.

If I had said JK looked like he had been dragged there to take the photo from that tight corners of his lips in the photo I would have caught a case on these streets from Tuktukkers and the wannabe fake woke jokers moonlighting as Tuktukkers. But sir energy don't lie.

By Soop is when they had talks of having drifted apart over the years. By dynamite there were some lowkey tensions between them and Tae was trying to reconnect or at least making the effort. By end of 2020 JK was throwing around that whole 'we used to be so close' phrase around willy nilly.

I feel BigHit is personally invested in the public reputation of the members- especially those two and if they feel they need to make a good impression and fix their broken image because it contradicts the BTS kumbaya agenda then they would want to take this opportunity to correct that through memories as they've been doing with the recent pairings throughout 2021.

More like, 'look Taekook are all good now.' Here they are eating ice cream together. Here they are taking a walk down the street holding hands. Here they are caring for eachother. Look Jk wiped Tae's tears.

They would want to put their 'chemistry' on full display- if they have that sort of content lying around💀 I mean that is the whole point of Memories isn't it? But like I said, they can't show us what they don't have. If they have it we will see it.

That's what I meant in my last post. I don't see how that's confusing or contradictory. Lol.

For JK, I'm actually looking forward to seeing more Namkook moments than Minimoni- organically I mean. Simply because Namkook as a pair through 2020 were equally conscious of building and nurturing their bond.

With Jikook, I don't know what to tell you. Their moments of tensions are usually short lived. They make up faster than you'd expect and wouldn't allow petty disagreements to ruin their bond to the point they would need say the company to intervene and fix their relationship.

That's just because Jimin is Jimin and JK is Jk. I mean JK's mother is not out here Jiminah saranghae-ing like a proud in law because she thinks or expects Jimin to not care or look after her son. Jimin is his hyung. Whatever happens with them I feel he will always have love for JK and often times is willing to overlook certain things. He's said so himself. He lets Jk get away with so much because he is cute and the Maknae.

I can't imagine Jikook drifting apart while still in the same band. Sure they will fight, sure they will disagree, hell I maintain they break up from time to time but I don't think it's ever going to be that bad.

I have my reservations about memories 2019. I'm waiting for memories 2020 to confirm my suspicions. How they treat Jikook in this will be so telling of a lot of things. But I'm not at all worried about them if you know what I mean?

Memories 2019 was a dump.

Jikook are real regardless. They don't need dumping or visibility to be real. Their bond has always been commercially convenient hence the visibility. Isn't that why people brand them as fanservice? Ships do have commercial value and are relevant and I remember saying if it were up to BigHit they will have more of ships like Jikook. The problem is the intersectional nature of ships. Tae and Kook have a dynamic as does Kook with Jimin and Jimin with Tae.

Taekook and Jikook are mutually exclusive as far as the nature of their bond goes. Both cannot be real at the same time.

Tae Kook can't be what Jikook is.

That one time in On Era the editors captioned a Tae kook moment as romantic was interesting to me. Things like that can create problems within Vminkook. Imagine everyone praising your best friend and your partner and calling them power couple and romantic while your own relationship gets defined as brothers, friends etc and not recieve the same respect and acceptance.

If Tae kook is real, all that homoerotic charge and romanticization of Jikook would be problematic as fuxk. As would Tae Kook if Jikook is real.

All that being said, I said I won't put it past BigHit to pull a fast one over Tuktukkers. They are in a for profit business not charity. If Tae Kook sells I trust they would be selling that to us. Unfortunately what Tuktukkers want is not Tae Kook, it's Jikook with TaeKook's name on it. That, I don't think anyone can help them with.

I hope this helps?

Signed,

GOLDY

[satorugojowidow]

I found the "text" or supposed one that is Utahime's va comment but there is no official source anywhere for me to confirm if it's true or not. Anyhow these are the words "At first, i went to make a character that was quite specialized in tsukkomi, but there was a direction that she was elegant, beautiful and only changed when Gojo involved. She often gets angry, but that's why i wished i could make a character that makes people think she's cute. It's a difficult point of view but i think that the nuance is different from hate or distaste. I feel like it is necessary to have a very delicate play as to where Utahime's feelings and how to reconcile with the places she hates to lose. There are many parts that have not been revealed yet, so i'm looking forward to playing them in the future." End

Now again, there's no source to this, whatsoever, and all i've seen is fans eating it up lol, either way, i found this very interesting, rather it's still not saying anything that disproves of Utahime disliking Gojo, because va simply cannot change what is being given and shown in the manga, however it feels to me that va is trying to point out that Utahime is not always angry and only becomes agitated when Gojo involves. Which means, she is completely different around those she loves (Shoko and her studens) but that's that, i take this with a grain of salt either way, seeing how desperate the shippers are it wouldn't surprise me that they make this up in order to decieve. As far as i'm aware, i haven't seen any other VAs comment except the ones that play major roles in the story, and that doesn't happen often. All in all, this is not a ship crumb at all.

Thanks for sending the full comment, I looked for it on twitter but I just found gojohime shippers.

The thing about being cute while being mad is the result of the idea that women should always be attractive no matter the circumstance and what they have been through.

Dislike and hate are different feelings, you can be indifferent to something you don’t like, but you never are indifferent to something or someone you hate. Plus, hate is a corrosive feeling that tends to take a major place in people. I don’t think Utahime has such a strong feeling for Satoru, because if she had it, she wouldn’t have helped him.

I heard this a lot: “Utahime is different around people she loves” I will switch it for “Utahime is different around people who don’t tease her”. What is different is to point out that Utahime’s reaction to Satoru is completely normal, because he is being annoying. I believe this is very simple to read, someone is annoyed because they are being teased. We don’t need to go deep into Utahime's personality that much. But the thing about gojohime has us going around something that is actually very simple. We spend much effort on this and there is not much analysis about her view of jujutsu society and her job as sorcerer and teacher.

In my opinion, Utahime’s character is built around her role as teacher, not her dynamic with Satoru (that is just a comic relief).

Even fans that dislike that Utahime discussion are centered around Satoru, still participate in this in their effort to argue against the gojohime shippers. I believe at this point, we must switch the axes of our analysis to explore Utahime’s character in another dimension of hers. This could be a new strategy to push new discussion to take the center place and fight those interpretations of Utahime in terms of territory. In simple words, push another agenda around Utahime.

[tuiyla]

so is it just me that is disgusted by finntana as a friendship...everyone in the fandom seems to want them as friends but i'd love it if they stayed as far away from each other as possible. i hated all of their interactions on the show and i don't get why people enjoy them.

i'm interested in your thoughts bc i know you don't like finn that much and santana's your fave

Phew, okay Anon, that's certainly something worth discussing.

I'm 100% behind you in terms of your right to dislike the friendship and I think it's perfectly okay to not want the two to have anything with each other. To say there's a lot of baggage there would be to put it mildly and the show seeing nothing wrong with, you know, the outing of it all, just makes it worse. I totally get why you'd say that.

With that said, and with your assessment of my feelings on Finn and Santana individually being correct, I kinda like it. But in that complicated sort of way that usually categorizes my feelings on anything Glee-related. Out of all my Santana bro ships I'd rank Finntana pretty low but like with most Glee dynamics I wish we saw more of them as friends.

Have only been thinking about this for five minutes but I think there are two aspects to it, for me: one is the thematic importance of their stories and the other is just me wishing everyone was friends and wanting fiction, at least, to be happy. The first one is easier to explain, though I could go into more detail at a later time if anyone would like to have that discussion. Basically, I think Finntana can be really fascinating narrative foils and parallels at different points in their stories. All the ~popular kids~ interconnect thematically imo and with Finntana it's mostly a contrast that then slowly turns into a parallel in late season 3 with neither knowing what the future holds. So I think it would have been neat to explore that and maybe have some scenes between the two in season 4.

The second, I mean, look. I always try to make it clear that Finn pisses me off so, so much even beyond the outing but if I wanna be honest, that is the one thing I just cannot get past. So my way of coping with the travesty that was IKAG and the narrative pretending like it never happened in terms of their friendship is wishing they had an actual friendship. And that's hard to reconcile with actual canon but the alternative is loathing every interaction they have. Which, to be clear, is a valid perspective to have and I don't blame you for feeling that way.

I think part of me wanting this friendship is also the fiction part like I said, which is a) appreciating the friendship Naya and Cory had and wishing it translated. And b) if human connection can't always persevere in real life then let it do so in fiction. What I mean by that is that Finn and Santana are, canonically, two people who have used and hurt each other. They have mutually caused each other pain, on varying levels, and while that's Not Great I am a big believer in forgiveness and learning to love people despite whatever might have happened in the past. So in my ideal Glee world, Finn and Santana would not only have come to a mutual understanding because of their arcs paralleling but because they're both making the conscious effort to forgive, do things to be worthy of that forgiveness, and heal together. I like to believe in the power of moving forward.

I think there could be beauty in that, narratively, and I'm assuming people find comfort in viewing Naya and Cory's characters as friends. But once again I do get what you're saying and with everything that went down between Finn and Santana, it's valid that some don't want the two to have anything to do with each other. What's comforting to some can be infuriating to others. I've seen fics before where Finntana were friends but in a way I don't vibe with, such as following the show's logic and saying Finn was actually showing he cared by outing her. Instead of dealing with the fact that he wasn't, actually. So anyway it is a complex topic and as always the best we can do is just accept all perspectives. I certainly see yours. Just for me, personally, one of the only things keeping me from finding Finn completely unbearable is pretending that there's a Glee timeline out there where this friendship could have worked.

[mimi-ya]

MIMI, I'M BACK!!!

After I finally finished writing that thing I had been putting off for months, my brain simply shut down and I couldn't get it back to work for the next two weeks 🤡 I really need to get tested for adhd asap

Anyway, how have you beeeeen? I hope this week has been a good one for you, so far 💕

I wanted to reread your latest fics before commenting on them, and I just found out there are some new ones out!!!! I'm gonna save those for later tonight hehe

Alright, so!!! Nightmare. WHAT A RIDE wkkzsknsndn not even the summary prepared me for what was to come 😂 Zoro is 100% soft for Chopper, and I'm all for it 😭 I really love their dynamics, and this fic reminded me of that ~ I do feel bad for Zoro, but I have to admit that the thought of him finishing himself off is..... not that bad............. 🤤

Now, on to "fashionable"... THAT'S IT. You've officially turned me into a certified Sabo Fucker™️ and I honestly don't know what to do about it 😭

I absolutely love the way you portray him, and this fic,,,,, 💯 THE TENSION!!!!!! The dynamics between Sabo and OC. The whole scenario 😭

Also, I love the fact that you included Perona in this story. I really love herrrrr. I mean,,,,, she can be pretty annoying, sometimes, and has quite... questionable morals, but!!! I still love her, and her entire aesthetic is 10/10

And, listen. I know this fic is a reader insert, but.! Sabo, Perona AND OC could have it any time,,,,,

Finally, I wanna talk about chapter 2 of covert identity!!!!

MIMI, WTH 😭😭😭😭 I'm crying once again as I reread it, and I LOVE the suffering 😂 Ace is such a sweetheart and deserves all the love in the world. He really went there and emancipated an entire island 😭

Even as we watch this turn of events (SABO?!?!!??! JWJSBUWJEHSJJEJE), I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up...... So I guess that, for now, I can only hope that Ace realizes how much he is loved, and how deserving he is of all this love 😭

Also!!! I'm really interested in OC's ventures during the time she and Ace had been apart. The scars!!!! I wonder what else happened before she met Luffy... That must have been so hard 😭

Now, I think my favorite part might be the one where OC tells Ace she loves him, and then he goes blue screen and asks her to say it again AAAAAGHSHSGSJHDGSISH I LOVE HIMMMMMM

Honorable mention to Whitebeard, though. He's such a nice person 😭 the man really lived up to his name. I love him, alright 🥺

Anyway, I love this story, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!!!

On another note, I read your discussion on the categorization of reader inserts and I'm so happy you brought that up! I've been thinking a lot about the use of trans-inclusive language, lately, and it's nice to see this topic being discussed within the OP community 🖤

- 🌱

(this is awfully long, I'm sorryyy)

YOURE BACK! I’ve missed you 🥺😭🥰

So glad to hear you’re finishing with some responsibilities you had, and i totally feel that shutdown mentality, and sometimes the mind and body do just need a break!

You’re too sweet for commenting on each of my fics 🥺 and i feel like this is gonna get double long, so I’m gonna use a cut here, lol

nightmare - oh to be a fly on that bathroom wall 😏 but unfortunately we had baby chopper to attend to, who is just my favorite thing to write paired with reluctant big bro zoro 🥰

fashionable - you’ve got me feeling THINGS for perona now!! I love her so much too, my dream is to cosplay her. Just a goth princess 😭😍 but back to sabo, it’s my goal to turn everyone into a sabo fucker. it’s what he deserves. my favorite op character. which is why I’m stressed everyday of my life because WHERE IS HE 😭

covert identity - ahh! I’m so glad you enjoyed, that story is really my baby. and yes, ace is certified best boy for freeing the island and just being all around perfect! im glad you enjoyed the sabo twist! i really wrote that scene first, and then i was like, okay. now how do i get there? Chapter 3 is going to be some fun sabo and reader adventures as they try to change fate…. can they do it? Idk, I haven’t wrote that part yet, lol

and thanks for comments on the reader descriptor posts! I think the categories are often used because it fits in nice boxes, but in life, most people don’t fit in these boxes, and boxes suck anyway! so I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to rework that on this blog🤔

tldr; I love and missed you 🌱 anon! and your in-depth comments of my fics literally made my day 💗💗 you’re the best kind of people out there!

[markantonys]

Domina was crazy good. Central female relationships, appropriate and equal (non-gross) nudity, and gay characters who, while still crazy/creepy, wasn't the only f'd up one (lookin at you Tiberius)

i enjoyed it a lot too! tho idk if i would go so far as to call it crazy good myself haha and i actually was really bugged by its female relationships. with the exception of the main livia-antigone relationship pretty much all the other female relationships were shallow and needlessly antagonistic with soooo much cattiness (i'm so exhausted by rival sisters-in-law livia vs. octavia why can't an adaptation just let them be friends for once? and the show's lack of empathy towards scribonia's suffering despite purporting itself to be a Feminist Show™ was astounding) there were hints of a nice relationship between livia and julia but they only had a couple brief scenes together. we barely saw the other girls but marcella is shaping up to be a needlessly catty bitch as well so that's a wonderful take we can look forward to if there are more seasons -__-

and i'm torn about marcellus. i'm not saying that all gay characters must be flawless and morally pure because that would be boring and unrealistic (especially in an ancient roman setting), i'm just asking that the one (1) gay character not also be by far the vilest, cruelest person on the entire show lmfao like yeah tiberius had some shit going on too (which, given that iirc they implied he has some kind of mental illness, opens a whole other can of worms) but he was afforded lots of empathy, very much an "aww poor baby tiberius gets bullied by the others uwu" whereas marcellus was a spoiled brat right from the get go with very few, if any, redeeming qualities. they did humanize him a little right before his death and the actor did a fantastic job with those moments of vulnerability, but it was too little too late. (and while we're on the subject, marcellus shouldn't have been the only gay character seeing as it was very common for roman men to sleep with men as well as women, the majority of the male characters in any ancient rome-set media should be bi (to use an anachronistic modern label) if you ask me (female sexual behavior isn't discussed much in our male-authored primary sources so it's harder to speak to that))

all this being said though, i really appreciate how much this show did with the family dynamics and marriage shuffling of the augustan household and how many of the kids they managed to include - just about all of them, which i never thought i'd get to see in an adaptation! and while the details were obviously sensationalized, the show was actually quite accurate in terms of the historical events included (i was particularly impressed that they bothered with the primus affair, and i remember while i was watching that trial scene i was thinking "wow this is playing out EXACTLY like how it was described in what i've read"). and of course MY BOY IULLUS ANTONIUS he's tied with his dad as my most beloved historical figure and for years i've dreamed of seeing him portrayed onscreen and never thought it would happen, but this show gave him to me and made him a himbo and included his relationship with julia and acknowledged his suffering with augustus destroying his whole family and his fragile position in the household, and i will never ever get over it