#and all of his cousins (except for rusong) hated him

[stiltonbasket]

honestly, the real reason Jin Ling and Nie Shiyong keep having babies is that Jin Ling loves to cuddle small kids/baby tigers and Nie Shiyong thinks that it's cute.

It's also because Nie Shiyong and Jin Ling are both orphans whose parents were murdered when they were babies. They were not expecting to deal with that past trauma all over again when Jin Hong was born; but eventually, they decided that they were going to have a large, loving, happy family at all costs. ;-;

[lyrisnightblood]

Dear "lovely" "canon Jiang Cheng Stans",

I see what you're doing here. I can see y'all talk about "book meta" and "writing Jiang Cheng as canonically accurate" and you know what?

Y'all are doing a fantastic job, keep it up 😍🎉

Yeah really! I mean it!

Y'all are doing a fantastic job showcasing just how utterly pathetic y'all are, how chronically online y'all are, and most importantly, y'all are doing a marvellous job showcasing your hate boner for a fictional character you claim to hate and is an "antagonist".

Keep up the lovely work y'all, show the world how you lack an ounce of reading comprehension, you booktok obsessed peeps!

And while you're at it, let me go spittin' facts, straight from the book.

Jiang Yanli is dead. End of the story. You can fantasize to your heart's content about how "she'll react to JC raising her son" and get your pants in a twist about all the bad things she'll supposedly say, but that's just it. You can only imagine it.

You know why?

Hmm idk cos she's fucking dead and no one knows what the dead wants?

This is exactly like "Don't do this your mother wouldn't have wanted this of you" "don't talk like you know my mother she's dead and i don't know what she wanted cos she's dead"

Well

I should've expected such callous behaviour from antis 🤷

Admit it, y'all wanted Wei Wuxian to raise Jin Ling huh? C'mon, don't be shy🥰 you can say that

Except your fave never could've raised Jin Ling cos 1) as if the Jin Sect would let their Sect heir be raised by the jianghu's most wanted person (Gasp, "wEi wUxIaN sLaNdEr" love check your books even wwx acknowledges that fact lolll) and 2) how tf could a dead man, no less a man who's soul got ripped into shards, take care of a baby?

"but Jin Guangyao was a better parental figure, and an actual parent"

Yeah, a parent who killed his own child cos he was worried about his reputation (I can already smell y'all coming at me to defend him like chill, I only said the truth, and yes, man was more worried about people knowing he married his sister and losing position than the life of his own son, just because he loved Rusong didn't change the fact that he was ready to go to the extreme). Not to mention how Jin Guangyao held a string to his own nephew's neck and threatened to kill him to save his skin while it was Jiang Cheng who begged him to let Jin Ling go

Betcha Jiang Yanli's ghost is watching the scene while sipping tea and praising Jin Guangyao huh

"but one of Jin Zixuan's cousin-"

Jin Zixun is dead. And is a truly despicable person. Or did you forget how he insulted Wei Wuxian left and right?

Oh wait. Of course you forgot, "criticizing" Jiang Cheng takes precedence! My bad, i should've known!

Let me stop y'all before you say "Jin Guangshan". You must be the utterly worst person in the planet to want a known womanizer and child abuser and rapist to raise a child. IDC Jin Guangshan is related to Jin Ling. Y'all just want a known abuser and sexual predator to raise Jin Ling just say you don't give two cents about the poor boy except when you want to hate on Jiang Cheng 🙄

"what about Jin Furen"

Yeah what about her? Or did you forget how she canonically had a role to play in Jin Ling's upbringing?

Who do you think is responsible for Jin Ling spending half a year in Lotus Pier? Certainly not Jin Guangyao!

If there was one person in the Jin Sect who could have enough sway to ensure that her own grandson is spending a significant amount of time in another sect, it's Jin Furen.

Three guesses why she did that?

Lol you actually thought I'd wait for your guess? LMFAOOOOO you're so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

She did that because Jin Furen cared for A-Li and - wait for it - A-Cheng!!!

Reread the books if you missed it, mmkay?

She was fond of Yu Ziyuan, and by extension her children, and post-SSC, she offered to support both of them on multiple occasions (which they declined because any political support from Jin Sect would've come with strings attached cos JGS😑)

Establishing the fact that Jin Furen cared for Jiang Cheng, she had agreed to Jin Ling spending half his time in Lotus Pier because she sensed that he was all Jiang Cheng had left, and vice versa.

Y'all also have utterly forgotten about the cruel way Jin Ling's paternal cousins have bullied him for being an orphan. Like, Koi Tower is supposed to be his home, and he was bullied to the point where Lotus Pier became his sanctuary.

"AHA! GOTCHA! QIN SU SHOULD'VE RAISED HIM!"

Laughing My Fricking Ass Off TM

My man Qin Su was RIGHT THERE! No one was stopping her from raising Jin Ling! She could've been the maternal figure Jin Ling needed! And no one would have questioned it, it was actually expected for that timeline.

Except.... Did she? Did she do anything to make Jin Ling feel loved? Has Jin Ling ever talked about his aunt the same way he talks about his uncles? Apart from the respect that he gives to her as his paternal uncle's wife, does Jin Ling refer to her fondly? Even once?

"Alright, your point?"

Why thank you for asking 💗😌

My point is that Jiang Cheng is canonically the best guardian for Jin Ling, and this conclusion comes AFTER analysing every other candidate.

And you know what?

I am absolutely right🎉💗🌸😻

Evidence?

Exhibit A: Jiang Cheng accompanying Jin Ling's nighthunt to look out for him but also keeps himself at a distance so that Jin Ling actually participates in the nighthunt

Exhibit B: Letting Fairy enter Lotus Pier despite the strict dog ban (which he had adhered to even after wwx died)

Exhibit C: Jin Ling never once flinches or looks scared when Jiang Cheng shows his temper and says "I'll break your legs", he knows his jiujiu is all bark but would never hurt him

Exhibit D: "how dare you hit me? Even my jiujiu had never hit me!" - Jin Ling to Wei Wuxian (who btw oh so casually hits Jin Ling as if it's a normal thing to hit a child💀)

Exhibit E: "A-Ling! Who made you cry?" - Jiang Cheng when he saw a crying Jin Ling. No admonishment. No Judgement. And certainly no anger directed at Jin Ling.

Exhibit F: Jin Ling being unafraid to cry in front of his jiujiu, he knows he won't be judged.

Exhibit G: Jiang Cheng saving Jin Ling on multiple occasions.

Exhibit H: Jiang Cheng begging Jin Guangyao to take him hostage and release Jin Ling, without hesitation, despite his spiritual energy being locked and being stabbed in the chest.

I could go on and on and on but unlike you lovely people who have no hobby other than slandering Jiang Cheng, I have TONS.

And also a life.

So, go fantasize about your Jiang Cheng hate boner elsewhere. I see your pathetic attempt at taking over the Canon Jiang Cheng tag and it ain't working.

Ciao 🤟

[ibijau]

Jin Rusong Lives pt 14 / On AO3

today was suspiciously quiet at work, so I managed to finish this chapter, and the epilogue which I’ll post tomorrow /o/

“You’re bad and you killed mommy and daddy,” Jin Rusong shouted, causing Nie Huaisang to freeze on the spot, breathless from horror.

He had known that the secret couldn’t be kept for ever, but Nie Huaisang had hoped that he would get a chance to explain this to Jin Rusong with all the gentleness he could muster. Judging by the terror on the child’s face, there must have been little gentleness when the Qins had revealed the truth to him, and they might have purposefully made a traumatic experience worse, just so Jin Rusong would be more cooperative.

Just behind Nie Huaisang, Jin Rulan was less heartbroken by the fact that Jin Rusong had found out the truth about his parents’ death, and more annoyed that the Qin sect wasn’t even trying to hide that they had the child with them. He walked up to Qin Cangye, a man who could easily have been his grand-father, and started scolding him for kidnapping his little cousin in such a manner.

“Rusong is my grandson,” Qin Cangye cut him, “and that gives me more right over him than a mere cousin, and far more so when that cousin sends him to live with a liar and a murderer.”

Jin Rulan must have protested something, which in turn forced Qin Cangye to continue arguing and start threatening to have them thrown out, so Jin Rulan made a few threats of his own. In some distant way, Nie Huaisang was aware that he should have intervened, but he could think of nothing except the terrified anger on Jin Rusong’s young face. 

It really had been a mistake to let Jiang Cheng trust that child in his care. How could it ever have gone any other way than this?

In spite of Jin Rulan’s protests, they were forced to leave the Qin sect’s home, which closed its doors to their faces and immediately put up every protection it had against intruders. Jin Rulan was ever more furious at Qin Cangye for his behaviour, and since his anger needed a target, he started scolding Nie Huaisang for not helping him.

“Maybe you really are useless after all,” he grumbled. “You were so scary back in the Unclean Realm, but now you’re just going to let Qin zongzhu get away with this?”

“What do you want me to say? He does have a better claim to Rusong than either of us.”

“But he’s not really his grandfather! And you said the rest of Qin zongzhu’s family might try to hurt A-Song! What, A-Song is angry at you, so suddenly you don’t care enough to protect him anymore?”

The remark had Nie Huaisang glaring at Jin Rulan.

“His safety is my priority!” he snapped. “He has every right to hate me, and it doesn’t change the fact I care about him.”

“Good. Then think of something to get him out of here,” Jin Rulan ordered. “Isn’t that what you’re good at? Scheming and making plans?”

Part of Nie Huaisang wanted to reply that his last bit of scheming had taken him a decade to prepare, and had nearly failed a few times. He refrained from making such a comment though, because they were still right at the door of the Qin Sect’s home, and only a fool would have admitted to being powerless within earshot of his enemies.

Besides, this time Nie Huaisang had two things he’d lacked last time: a reputation, and allies.

-

Jin Rulan and Nie Huaisang ended up taking rooms at an inn of Laoling, where both of them tried to rest as well as they could. Late that night, as they were discussing different plans over dinner, they were joined by Jiang Cheng and some of his disciples. Without waiting to be invited, Jiang Cheng sat with them and sent one of his disciples to order more food and wine.

“I can’t believe you’re not even capable of looking after a child,” Jiang Cheng then told Nie Huaisang.

“I can’t believe you didn’t do a background check on Jin Yixin,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “And that you didn’t consult Qin zongzhu at all about his own grandson.”

“I can’t stand the man,” Jiang Cheng said. “Pompous, self-important prick who always thinks he’s right. He’d have demanded to have the child, but Jin Rusong hardly knows him and he’d been crying for you the whole time. I made the most logical choice.”

“So instead, you left him no choice but to kidnap his grandson,” Nie Huaisang said.

“Or he could have just contacted any of us,” Jin Rulan pointed out. “He didn’t have to jump straight away to kidnapping.”

“Entitled asshole,” Jiang Cheng agreed. “And his sons are even worse. The only decent person in that family was Qin Su, and that says more about her temper than her education. We’re getting that kid back.”

It would be best for Jin Rusong to be away from his grandfather, Nie Huaisang thought as he drank some wine. But he doubted that was the only thing at play there. He suspected that for Jiang Cheng and Qin Cangye both, this affair was about more than Jin Ruson’s wellbeing. After all, Lanling Jin was still fragile, Jin Rulan’s grasp on his own sect was shaky at best. If old allies were to turn against him, it might end badly for the Jin sect. Laoling Qin wasn’t the largest of sects, but its sphere of influence would increase instantly if Lanling Jin were to disintegrate due to internal conflicts, and more so if Qin Cangye could be the one to have provoked that fall. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng of course wanted to protect his nephew’s situation, even if he probably had little love for the rest of Lanling Jin, so he had to get involved and prevent any sort of attack against that sect.

It annoyed Nie Huaisang to be forcibly brought into that sort of petty disputes when Qinghe Nie had finally reached a certain balance in that regard, when he’d tried to make it clear after the death of Jin Guangyao that he wouldn’t involve himself in such things again. It annoyed him even more to see Jin Rusong be used as a pawn when the poor child had already suffered so much.

If the only way to protect Jin Rusong was to get involved in politics, then so be it. Nie Huaisang would do what it took.

-

There was something quite enjoyable about being on the right side of things when Jiang Cheng got angry, Nie Huaisang decided as he watched the door of the Qin sect open for them. The way Jiang Cheng refused to take no for an answer and forced others to bend to his will… some might have called him a bully, and he probably was one, but Nie Huaisang was also reminded of his brother, who cared more about doing the right thing than coddling people’s pride.

The resemblance was only superficial of course, because while Nie Mingjue had just acted as his nature pushed him to do, Nie Huaisang knew Jiang Cheng enough to guess he was just pretending not to notice others’ wounded egos. If he hadn’t known who he could offend without risk, Jiang Cheng and his once fragile sect would long ago have become Jin Guangyao’s next target. It would be interesting to see what Jiang Cheng might do, now that he too was free from that threat.

For now, what Jiang Cheng did was to demand and obtain a meeting with Qin Cangye to discuss the future of Jin Rusong. Qin Cangye wasn’t happy to deal with so much interference when he insisted that it was only his right to be raising his own grandson, but Nie Huaisang noticed that his two oldest sons appeared more conflicted about Jiang Cheng’s intervention. It wasn’t to their advantage to keep around a child that threatened their own children’s inheritance, but they had too much pride to want some other sects to order them around. Nie Huaisang couldn’t quite blame them for that, but placing oneself between Jiang Cheng and something he’d decided he wanted was about as likely as hoping to stop a charging bull. Some people might manage it, but it took far greater skill than anyone within the Qin sect had ever shown.

So for most of the day, an intense conversation went on which only barely didn’t explode into an actual argument because Qin Cangye had manners, at least when he wasn’t kidnapping children. Those manners sadly turned against him when Jiang Cheng bullied the man into hosting all three of them for the night if he didn’t want the entire cultivation world to know that Qin Cangye treated his guests with less courtesy than a mere peasant would have shown. At that point Nie Huaisang nearly objected that he wasn’t particularly interested in spending the night in this place, but eventually kept silent to avoid undermining Jiang Cheng.

It really was impressive how that man always got his way. Someday, if they ever reconciled, Nie Huaisang would have to ask Wei Wuxian how he managed to ignore Jiang Cheng’s demands.

For now, after a reluctantly offered dinner that Nie Huaisang only nibbled at to satisfy both Qin Cangye and Jiang Cheng’s egos, they were led to bedrooms where Nie Huaisang quickly realised he wouldn’t manage to sleep. If he struggled to sleep at home, it was far worse away from it, and near impossible when in the house of enemies. Whenever he had to spend the night in Jinlin Tai during Jin Guangyao’s reign, Nie Huaisang usually either wandered in the gardens or made a nuisance of himself to pass the time. Here the second option wasn’t to be considered at the moment. The first, while unwise, could be managed. Nie Huaisang’s carefully crafted bad reputation still allowed him to get away with odd behaviour, while his rank meant that any Qin disciple finding him walking around at night should remember to ask questions before attacking.

Loaling Qin did not have gardens nearly as splendid as Lanling Jin did, but Nie Huaisang wasn’t in a mood to be picky and still enjoyed walking there for a bit. He even found it almost amusing to avoid patrolling disciples, being reminded of easier days in his youth, in the Cloud Recesses. Unlike Wei Wuxian, he’d never been caught by Lan Wangji or anyone else. Then, once the garden had lost what appeal it had, Nie Huaisang walked back toward the main courtyard, thinking it might be interesting to study how it had been decorated and see if he could borrow some ideas. The style of architecture were quite different, but Nie Huaisang liked how certain things had been arranged. It was almost as practical as in his own home, but with a veneer of refinement he hadn’t yet despaired of imposing on the Unclean Realm.

Nie Huaisang hadn’t been in that courtyard for very long when he sensed another person nearby, watching him. He took a second to ground himself and turned to watch the newcomer, ready to play a comedy of some sort to excuse his presence in that place at such a late hour.

Instead, he saw Jin Rusong, watching him with a conflicted expression.

Staring back, Nie Huaisang found himself at a loss for words. Qin Cangye had been careful to keep his grandson away from his unwanted visitor, and Nie Huaisang hadn’t expected to see the child again until his fate had been decided by them, which he thought would take several days. Part of him had expected he might never see Jin Rusong again at all, in fact. It wouldn’t have surprised him if Qin Cangye only agreed to let others raise the little boy if he was promised that Nie Huaisang, the man who had caused his daughter to die, never approached her child again. A price Nie Huaisang would pay, if it was the only way to ensure Jin Rusong could grow somewhere safe.

“I can’t sleep,” Jin Rusong announced after a while.

Nie Huaisang nodded. Without thinking he sat on a nearby bench and opened his arms, silently offering to hug Jin Rusong, the way he would have done just days earlier. But too much had changed in those few days. Jin Rusong’s expression became concerned and Nie Huaisang awkwardly dropped his arms to his side.

“Should we go get someone to take you back to your room?” Nie Huaisang asked, vainly trying to smile. “It is very late for little boys to be up.”

“I don’t like my room. I don’t like sleeping alone, but Jin Yixin says I’m too old to sleep with her, and I can’t sleep with grandpa, and I don’t know anyone else here.”

It had taken so long for Jin Rusong to stop climbing into Nie Huaisang or Lan Xichen’s bed every night, for him to feel comfortable enough to sleep alone. It upset Nie Huaisang to see all that progress lost.

“Then what can I do to help you, SongSong?”

The little boy hesitated, tilting his head to the side. Jin Rusong took a step forward, then stopped for a moment before hesitantly walking closer to Nie Huaisang. He stopped for good just out of reach, and stared at his uncle with determination.

“Did you really do all those bad things?”

Nie Huaisang hesitated and lowered his eyes. He’d never so desperately wanted to lie before, nor been so aware that lying would be the worst thing he could do.

“I don’t know what your grandfather told you, so I can’t say that everything he told you was true,” he explained. “But yes, I’ve done many bad things in my life. For some of them, I still think I was right. For others, I was just angry and wanted to hurt people because someone had hurt me. You know what it’s like to be angry like that, right? So angry it feels like you will explode if you don’t do something.”

Jin Rusong slowly nodded.

“But my Songsong is a good boy,” Nie Huaisang continued with a weak smile. “Even when you’re so angry, you don’t hurt people. You cry and maybe shout a bit, but you’re very good and you’re always careful with others. And even when if you were to hurt someone, I know you would apologise after. Uncle Nie isn’t nearly as good, and so I’ve done many bad things.”

“You killed mommy.”

Nie Huaisang closed his eyes, but that just meant he could see the cold rage on Qin Su’s face, her blood spraying from her neck when she sliced it. He already hadn’t been happy with that when it had happened because she could have testified against her husband, but now, knowing that he’d done this not just to Qin Su but to Jin Rusong as well…

He reopened his eyes but, unable to meet Jin Rusong’s gaze, stared at the ground instead.

“Your mother died because I just wanted to hurt as many people as I could,” he said, “and didn’t think how upset she would get. For this, I’m very sorry. I shouldn’t have put her in a position like that. Your mommy was a very good person, and she didn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“And daddy?”

Nie Huaisang fell silent for a moment. No matter the love he felt for Jin Rusong, the idea of having to apologize for arranging the death of Jin Guangyao made him furious. This he did not feel sorry for, this he refused to ever regret. They could all hate him for it, Lan Xichen and Jin Rusong and all the others could turn against him and demand his blood if they pleased, but it had only been right that Jin Guangyao should die and nothing would change his mind.

It took some effort for Nie Huaisang to calm down after the moment of red hot rage that spiked through him, but he managed.

“We’ve told you before that your daddy did some bad things too,” he said, his voice colder now, even when he desperately didn’t want to upset Jin Rusong. “One of those bad things is that he killed my brother, who I loved very, very much, and he did it in a manner that was very cruel. He hurt my brother a lot before killing him, and when I realised that, I decided to do the same to him. It’s what people call revenge: someone hurt you, so you decide to hurt them.”

“Grandfather says that I’ll want revenge on you someday,” Jin Rusong whispered. “Does it mean I have to hurt you too?”

“If you want to. I wouldn’t stop you.”

Jin Rusong cried out in horror, and started crying.

“I don’t want to hurt uncle Nie! I don’t want to do revenge! I don’t want, I don’t want!”

Upset to see him crying, Nie Huaisang instinctively reached out toward Jin Rusong to comfort him, but the little boy shook his head and stepped away.

“Hm. SongSong is a good boy like that," Nie Huaisang wistfully whispered instead, almost remembering what it was like to feel like that. There had been a time when he would have thought himself incapable of hatred. Even Wen Ruohan he had never despised the way he eventually did Jin Guangyao. "But maybe it will change as you grow, especially if you stay here with your grandfather. Is that something you want? To stay here?”

“I don’t know!” Jin Rusong sobbed. “Grandfather is nice, but I miss my friends from the Unclean Realm. Here, the other children don’t want to play with me. I also miss you, and uncle Lan. I wish I could be with grandfather and you and uncle Lan, and also with LingLing. Is it spoiled to want that?”

“SongSong isn’t spoiled, but he wants difficult things,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “Your grandfather and I… I don’t think we can ever get along. But maybe you could go live with Uncle Lan, and then it’d be easier for everyone who loves you to come visit you.”

It really would be the best solution at that point. Qin Cangye had argued against it when it was mentioned that afternoon, but he had a pretty decent relationship with Lan Qiren, whose father he’d known well, so that might play in their favour. Gusu was near enough Lanling that Jin Rulan could visit his cousin more easily than in Qinghe. It would be a more neutral place for Jin Rusong to live, until he was old enough to decide for himself. And Lan Xichen, who sadly couldn’t stay forever in the Unclean Realm, would benefit from having the little boy around as he resumed his function as sect leader and continued to recover.

If Qin Cangye could only be convinced, it would satisfy everyone.

“I don’t want to go live in a new place again,” Jin Rusong sniffled. “I don’t want, it’s scary.”

“I know it’s scary,” Nie Huaisang replied, this time resisting the impulse to reach out. “You know, one time when I was older than you, but still not very old, I also had to go live for a time in the place where uncle Lan lives. And I cried about it a lot, too. I was a much bigger boy than you, but I was very scared and I begged my brother to let me stay with him. I thought I was going to die if I had to be in a place I didn’t know, with new people. It made me so afraid I felt very sick, so I understand how you feel.”

“Were you forced to go?” Jin Rusong asked, blinking away his tears. 

“My brother thought it was good for me, so I had to go. And even though I was so very scared, in the end it wasn’t so bad. I made many friends in that new place, like uncle Lan, or uncle Jiang. And even LingLing’s daddy was there, and we all had great fun. Sometimes, we are scared of things that are actually very good, that’s why it’s important to be brave.”

Jin Rusong shook his head, and started crying once more. 

“I don’t want to be brave. I want my mommy.”

“I know, SongSong. I can’t bring back your mommy. I wish I could. I think she would be so happy to see that you’re not sick anymore.”

“I want my mommy.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I want daddy, too.”

To this, Nie Huaisang had nothing to say that wouldn’t be cruel or a lie.

“I want mommy and daddy, and I want a hug, and I don’t like being brave.”

“I can’t help with the rest,” Nie Huaisang said. “But I can give you a hug, if you still want one from me.”

Jin Rusong hesitated, frowning through his tears, but in the end he nodded and ran onto Nie Huaisang’s lap before he really had time to open his arms. The sobbing child pressed his face against Nie Huaisang’s chest, holding his neck uncomfortably tight and getting tears and snot everywhere. Nie Huaisang held him back with all the gentleness he was still capable of, petting and kissing the little boy’s hair to calm him.

They’d all asked so much of that poor child, Nie Huaisang thought as he rocked him slowly, the way he remembered his brother doing for him so long ago. It made him angry at Wei Wuxian for playing with things he didn’t understand and bringing back Jin Rusong among the living, without ever pausing to wonder what impact it would have on a child so young who had lost everything while he slept. But that particular anger didn’t last. It never did, when he could hold that little boy he loved so much, who was so brave even when he didn’t want to be.

It was easier, then, for Nie Huaisang to allow himself to hate Jin Guangyao with renewed strength. Even if he hadn’t been a monstrous father killing his own son to hide the result of incest, he had still put everyone who loved the child through the agony of thinking they had lost him. He could have said that Jin Rusong was sick, he could have said his son needed to be treated for that illness, that Jin Rusong would need to be in stasis until the cure was found, but instead he’d just forced them all to suffer, and used their pain to push his political agenda.

It was easy to hate Jin Guangyao for the situation they were in.

Nie Huaisang wondered if Jin Rusong would one day find it just as easy to hate him for what he’d done.

But for now, the little boy seemed to carry little hate and resentment. After being held and rocked tenderly for a long while, Jin Rusong fell asleep in Nie Huaisang’s arms, showing the same blind trust he’d had before knowing that his uncle Nie had murdered his parents. And Nie Huaisang, knowing he should have looked for someone to take the little boy back to his bed, just sat there and basked in that undeserved trust. 

Just a little longer, he told himself, gently smoothing the child’s hair. Just a few more moments of pretending that this could be salvaged, that he wouldn’t lose the closest thing to a son he was ever likely to have. Just a little longer.

A little longer turned into most of the night without Nie Huaisang really noticing. At some point he had removed his outer robe to wrap it around Jin Rusong, so he would stay warm and safe even if the night was fairly mild. It wasn’t until dawn started colouring the sky that Nie Huaisang truly realised just how long he’d been sitting there on that bench, holding a child he’d made an orphan. He was starting to accept that he really needed to return the little boy to someone from the Qin sect when Qin Cangye ran into that courtyard, looking half panicked until he spotted Nie Huaisang and his grandson.

An array of emotion flashed across Qin Cangye’s face, from surprise to fear, eventually settling for anger. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep speaking, but Nie Huaisang was struck by the certainty that Qin Cangye truly cared about Jin Rusong, that he wasn’t arguing to have him just for the sake of politics or revenge, but because he still thought of the little boy as his grandson, no matter what others might say about his wife and daughter. He, too, had loved that child, and he too had mourned him when Jin Guangyao deceived them all.

Nie Huaisang wasn’t sure he’d ever like Qin Cangye, but he might at least respect him, which didn’t come to him easily these days.

“He was wandering last night, saying he couldn’t sleep,” Nie Huaisang explained, keeping his voice low to avoid waking Jin Rusong. “I’m sorry if you were worried.”

“We just realised now that he was gone,” Qin Cangye said dryly, but his eyes softened when he gazed at his grandson. “He hasn’t been sleeping well so far. I suppose I should be glad he managed with you.”

“I’m not sure I can take much credit. He asked me about his parents, and… well, a few tears were spilled. Many tears. I think he was just exhausted.”

“What did you tell him about his parents?”

“Nothing more than what I thought he could understand. I wish I hadn’t arranged for this story about your wife and Jin Guangshan to be revealed. It’s going to make things harder for him in the future.”

“And that’s a great concern of yours, his future, " Qin Cangye scoffed. 

“It is," Nie Huaisang replied, his eyes falling to the child sleeping in his arms. "I care about him. I know you don’t believe me, but I care about him.”

“Then let me have him. I’m his family, I’m his grandfather. Let me have him. He belongs here.”

“I think you mean that," Nie Huaisang condeded, blaming this sudden sentimentality on the lack of sleep. "If it were only you and him, I’d let you and Jin Rulan come up with something together. But you know he’s hardly safer here than in Jinlin Tai. If something were to happen to you, do you think your children would hesitate to use his parentage to get rid of him and ensure he cannot inherit anything?”

“I’ll take measures so he’s protected even after my death,” Qin Cangye retorted, and Nie Huaisang thought maybe he could like that man after all, just because he was realistic enough to not say some boring lie about his family being actually very kind and united. “I won’t let him go back with you without a fight, Nie zongzhu.”

“And I won’t leave him somewhere he might be in danger. I want Rusong to be happy, Qin zongzhu, and I want him to be safe.”

“Then we have at least one thing in common,” Qin Cangye said with a disgusted expression, as if it were the worst thing in the world to share anything with a man like Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang smiled in spite of himself and carefully stood up, mindful not to wake the child in his arms. Jin Rusong, always a light sleeper, protested upon being handed to his grandfather, but quickly fell back to sleep.

Nie Huaisang loved that child so much, and hoped it would be enough to make up for everything he’d made him suffer through.

It probably wouldn’t be but… but Nie Huaisang wanted to try. He wanted to be part of Jin Rusong’s life, until the day the boy himself decided that he’d put up with his parents’ murderer too long already.

Nie Huaisang wanted Jin Rusong in his life just as fiercely as he wanted Lan Xichen in it, and he was ready to make the efforts necessary to keep both of them.

Qin Cangye could be a reasonable man, at the end of the day, and surely they’d figure out a way to handle this, if they all tried their best.

[leatherbookmarking]

i. know i had that post abt qin su and jiggy finding out, being appropriately terrified and orchestrating jgs’ murder with an army of his bastards, but since i had a thought about jin rusong the alive child...

consider: the above, except qin su is already in love with the child that’s growing inside her. he was, as opposed to some, conceived out of love; there’s no reason to punish him for crimes he didn’t commit. jiggy, of course, has a different opinion, and they argue in whisper-shouting (which is, to be honest, quite counter-productive, so they quickly stop and/or move behind the mirror). they reach an understanding,

and eventually jin guangyao and young madam jin are known as the most unbearably paranoid future parents to ever exist.

healers hate them. no, young madam jin, mild pollen allergy usually doesn’t kill-- i’m sorry, it simply does not kill. it is not possible. what about colds? a-yao said he would catch a cold often as a child, what if it’s-- the chief healer of the jin sect takes a calming breath. everyone gets sick sometimes. but jinlintai is properly isolated, so unless you’re dangling the baby out in the cold on purpose (i am only assuming you would not do that), with the proper care it will DEFINITELY receive, NOTHING WRONG SHOULD HAPPEN.

young madam jin is silent for a while. chief healer is about to sigh with relief.

and then the horrible woman opens her mouth again.

the healers should just give her the baby to deal with, says one cousin to another over tea. if she has to feed, entertain and clean after the baby, she surely won’t have time to complain and bother everyone with her never-ending questions! i understand being scared, i had my doubts as a young mother, but...

oh, but you know, the father is jin guangyao, the other cousin says. this man would rather eat his own hat than have something not under control. imagine the life of this kid!

exasperated nods.

by the end of qin su’s pregnancy, the entirety of jinlintai would, without batting an eye, heartily assure her everything is on order, in fact, that’s how it should be! perfect! even if her child had six fingers in both hands and a tail growing out of its forehead.

(they, however, hope nothing of this sort happens.)

(it, coincidentally, is exactly what the horrible future parents have wanted)

a-yao, says lan xichen very gently, i really think you shouldn’t worry so much. your child is lucky to be born to such wonderful parents, and--

jin guangyao’s eyes widen in panic. er-ge, he whispers. er-ge, i don’t know how to be a father. how am i going to--? what if i do something wrong--? what if---?!

lan xichen gazes gently into the camera.

young master jin, future jin rusong, is born; the birth itself is quick and uneventful, save for, well, the baby being born. he is healthy, not too small, not too big, with healthy lungs. young madam jin wasn’t even in that much pain. gods themselves have smiled upon young master jin, people say! no, the people in jinlintai think. WE have FROWNED at young madam jin’s belly (carefully, behind her back), diplomatically suggesting for the baby to be in perfect health, OR ELSE.

oh, do they eat their words. oh, do they wish the boy was of fragile constitution, staying in bed or safe in his warm room. because future jin rusong is demon incarnate. he is also, coincidentally, the most beautiful child anyone has ever laid their eyes upon, having his mother’s dark, innocent eyes and his father’s charming dimples, but this is where his good traits end.

he is a MENACE.

presented with OBJECTS, he grabbed the brush and immediately shoved it into his mouth, almost making his poor mother drop him; and that gesture will stay with him for the rest of his life. he tries to eat his mother’s fingers, his father’s fingers. robes? do you mean a snack? actual food is of no concern to him if he can CONSUME literally everything around him. jin guangyao turns away for one!!! (1) second, yet when he turns back, he finds his son has, in the meantime:

nibbled on the inkstone

tried the ink as well

and got it on his little stupid hands and his little stupid offwhite robe

tried the brush, guess which tip

started on the letter his poor sod of a father was writing.

is this normal, whispers young madam jin weakly.

yes, says the head healer automatically.

qin su and jiggy stop worrying as an act and start worrying for real.

by the time he’s six, jin rusong has tasted most of what there is, and isn’t, to taste in jinlintai, including but not limited to curtains, floors, his mother’s jewellery, suibian (to put it gently, it was a memorable day), baxia’s hilt (nie mingjue snorted), the ends of lan xichen’s head ribbon, alcohol, the cup that used to have alcohol in it, by which i mean that jin rusong dumped it on his face, licked his lips and then the cup clean, fairy’s ears, fairy’s paws, nie huaisang’s fan, the robes of perhaps every resident, a bell, a hand and hair of his cousin, jin rulan.

he’s a horrible thief and doesn’t even notice it. he just starts idly playing with an object, like his aunt’s bracelet, after a while says goodbye like a well-behaved boy and leaves, and then several hours later comes back, terrified out of his mind, apologizing, in tears. and oh, does his crying face make everyone’s hearts melt.

he’s sneaky and his steps are virtually inaudible, and upon finding out about this fact, several people in jinlintai suddenly flash back to their affairs and feel cold sweat on their back. some suspect he has developed the ability to turn invisible. his parents and teachers are out of ideas on how to keep him in his room, aside from “iron handcuffs and an iron pole with a stabilizing talisman on it” which seem a little bit too much. who teaches him all that? unclear.

he was supposed to copy a text and think about it; he is found three hours later, soaking wet and with a new friend (frog). he’s been hiding in the lotus pond, ducking underwater when there was someone passing by. he was supposed to practice sword forms with jin rulan and an older disciple; they are found gorging on steamed buns in the nearby market. jin rulan doesn’t know how it happened, and it infuriates him. the disciple knows, and the answer is “those damn dimples and sparkling eyes” but no one’s asking him, so.

by the time he’s nine, he limits the CONSUMPTION to the bare necessary minimum (food, his own fingernails, and the correct tip of the brush) but follows jin rulan like an enamoured puppy, thinking he is Literally The Coolest. jin rulan appreciates that very much, but sometimes... when he’s trying to be cool, you know? an annoying little cousin shouting at him to COME SEE I FOUND A REALLY COOL BUG? is kind of, ruining his vibe, okay.

you know what, actually i planned to end this post like 200 words earlier, with a vaguely ominous passage about how “sect leader jin and his wife are a perfect couple! usually there are rumors, even minor, about all sect marriages, but none about them! truly an example to be followed!” (meaning: they were MURDERED). 

then i was like oh! what if rusong was a mess, and there was no assassination attempt, or rather: there were, but through food, and rusong’s parents caught on quickly and started to train their child, who likes to CONSUME, to automatically neutralize various types of poisons with his core (once he ate something that would have killed a non-cultivating adult man and only mentioned it was ‘making his tongue all tingly’. that’s very funny, a-song, jin guangyao said, and then went to have a fucking drink)

but... then... i got distracted by Chaos Child Jin Rusong... and i don’t know what happened? please imagine jin rusong, 13, seeing “”””mo xuanyu”””” and being like oh! oh! xiaoshu! XIAOSHU YOU’RE BACK LOOK I HAVE A SWORD WOW YOU’RE SO TALL

““““mo xuanyu”““““: ????? whomst the Fuck

what else happens in this au? does nie mingjue not get murdered, due to ‘being the cool uncle with a big saber’? does that mean wwx does not get resurrected? does jiggy kill mingjue anyway, and everything is as it was originally, along with the guanyin temple and there is ONE MORE traumatized person? does it go completely differently? i don’t know!!! i don’t know!!! i really don’t know!!!