#and alex took advantage of the fact that she was desperate enough to want to switch out in the first place

[ghostsessioned]

Oh and the fact that when Alex decides she can't do it and Olivia later tells her that " I think you act like you care about me, but you don't " and she immediately says she does, but Olivia disregards it. In situations like that I find that they won't hold anything positive/assuring as true, they just can't believe it. Because they get to a point where it's just like well, I deserve this, and it is the only way.

FUCKING YEAH. WOW. imagine being led on for YEARS, talking to someone you thought you could trust, someone you could rely on, that would be There and Help You, only for that feeling to be shirked out from under you because they got cold feet or second guessed themself. terrible feeling

[bonny-kookoo]

Enticing Girl (JJK x Reader) 🎀(☁️)💜🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Good Girl AU!, Fluff, Smut, slight comedy, only a teeny tiny little bit of angst

Warnings: Fluff, it’s so soft pls, GG and JK being best puppy-parents, Dom! Jungkook, Sub!Reader, Dom/Sub themes, mild DDLG themes, usage of toys (the vibrator pt.2 lol), oral (fem. receiving), Squirting, Subspace, Soft aftercare king ‘Koo, GG scratches his back and he thinks it’s funny, GG is clumsy and has to go to the ER, nothing too bad, but she’s kinda on a lot of pain meds, Jungkook being whipped, GG talking without a filter and he loves it

Summary: Jungkook never wanted to see you in any kind of hospital ever again. This time however, it ends way differently than last time, and he couldn’t help but feel almost overwhelmed with emotions.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl || Charming Girl || Enticing Girl || Bad Girl || ???

Taglist: @sweetenedcooky @ggukkieland @btsismybias22 @darkgvk @daddypkj @flowerprincess24 @crazylittlemay @zeharilisharaban @teresaisla @tangledsparkles @dammit-jjk

"What the fuck!" Jungkook laughed, as he pulled you inside the small diner, his cotton zip hoodie already soaked with the rain from outside. You hit his chest playfully at his cursing, making a few lone costumers and a waitress snicker at your antics, and your own cheeks redden. Your boyfriend shook his head like a wet dog shaking his coat, making you whine as the drops fell onto you, as he laughed, kissing your cheek. "Sorry, sorry. Lets sit down." He said, walking to a small booth in the corner, where he simply threw his soaked clothing onto the seats, making you click your tongue at him. "Ah come on now, sit down and be a good girl now while I get the menus." He said, making you huff as you sat down, cheeks still ablaze because of his words.

Alex had made a little fun about it the last time you spoke with her. The fact that you seemed trained like a dog to his very command as soon as he would utter these things to you in a way that always included you being 'his good girl'. You had told her time and time again that no, you were not whipped for him, and yes, you could be independent and go against his words. You had yet to prove that, however. It wasn't like you wanted to go against him, however- your nature didn't allow you to. As someone who liked to be taken care of in the most nurturing kinds of ways, you wanted to see if Jungkook would take on that role of a partner who would simply comply with these needs. So basically, what you were doing, was pushing and pushing, until you'd demand something he couldn't give. Of course you could just plain straight tell him what you wanted, but you craved him to do these things naturally, not because he would feel like he needed to do them in order to make you happy.

Jungkook had noticed your behaviour as well. Instead of using that to his advantage, he'd gone around the world wide web and done research, simply because he felt like he'd read about this entire situation before. He knew about things like subspace, a mindset you slipped into easily during sex whenever he would push your buttons just right- these days even without any sexual nature in his gestures. The funny thing was, that Taehyung had actually told him to search up some things, 'maybe it could be helpful' he'd said. And it had been, he decided after he'd found a lot of information about what this could mean for you as a person. Were you someone who regressed, but simply didn't know? It could be. Or maybe you weren't. He'd ask you about that later on.

When he'd come back to your table, you slowly put your phone away as he sat down, looking at the menu. "Anything catching your eye princess?" He asked as he looked over the dishes as well, trying to decide what he wanted for himself. You hated making decisions, always waiting for Jungkook to do tell you whatever he would get as an example to go by. He noticed that, as you began to shuffle around in your seat, slightly sucking your upper lip in between your lips to chew on the skin in frustration. He clicked his tongue, hand reaching out to pull your lip out of its danger of getting seriously hurt as he looked at you. "Don't do that. Let me get the sunny side up eggs, and you'll take the pancakes. If you wanna switch we can, sound's good?" He said, and you nodded, glad he took the burden of the decision from you.

It was still early, your first morning of yours and Jungkooks shared week of freedom from your work. You'd taken the days off at the same time to spend some well deserved time together without the need to get up early in the mornings, or stay up late to wait for the other to finish their shift. Today you started with getting breakfast together, the weather however had switched seemingly out of nowhere, making you both regret walking to the small diner instead of taking the car.

It didn't matter to you, however- the fact that Jungkook had desperately tried but failed to shield your form from the sudden downpour from above with his zip hoodie made you feel as if you were stuck in a romantic drama full of cliches and happy endings. It felt magical, in a way, as cheesy as it sounded.

Once the food arrived, Jungkook thanked the waitress as she set the plates down, his hands already reaching for the cutlery as you gently pulled yours towards you. The small restaurant slowly filled up as the time went by, squeaking shoes and the laughter of a foreign family walking in breaking the silence around everyone. Jungkook watched you as you started to dig into your pancakes, smiling a bit as he slowly began to eat as well. "Is there something you wanna do today?" He asked you, as you looked at him, shaking your head. Today you really wanted to just embrace the simple fact you could both be lazy. He nodded, instantly moving his finger over your lower lip as some crumbs failed to make it into your mouth in time, swiping across before pushing a bit, his own lips turning upwards a bit as he noticed how you complied without thinking much, letting his finger inside your mouth to welcome the stray crumbs of food that were supposed to end up there in the first place. You really were sweet.

"The lets go home after the rain clears up and take a nap, sounds good?" He said, and you nodded again, already hyped at the vision of him and you curled up on the couch, windows opened to let the cool air in as you both slept for as long as you wanted. For others it may seemed to be a pretty dull plan for the day, but for you both it was rare to be able to be lazy. Jungkook had just recently found his dream job at a tuning workshop as an airbrush artist. He'd been a bit hesitant, yet after a bit of reassurance from your side he'd finally agreed to send in some of his own sketches and practices he'd collected over time. They had almost immediately agreed to take him under their wing despite his lack of knowledge concerning actual work experience. That had been the big reason why he'd always stayed late, being given extra lessons in how to actually work with professional equipment. He loved his new job, you'd noticed that instantly, yet he had also felt bad that you always stayed up to wait for him to come home despite having to get up early in the mornings for your own job, constantly finding you asleep on the couch rather than in his bed where you should rest. The week of freetime came as a beacon of hope that things would get a bit easier since it showed that you both had settled into your own jobs well enough to receive short-notice freedom just by asking kindly.

It was also good for the both of you since you would be finally picking up your dog the next day, your vacation probably filled with chaos and happiness- and you couldn't wait.

"Come on, lets go take a shower while we can throw the clothes in the wash." Jungkook said as he stepped into the apartment you both shared, making you smile happily as you skipped into the bathroom, already pulling your sweater over your head. Jungkook came inside soon after, picking up the clothes you had simply thrown onto the tiles as you stepped out of your pants. "Since when do we make such a mess princess?" He said as he accusingly stood in front of the sweater in front of his sock clad feet, arms crossed in front of him. You looked at him for a moment before you pouted, picking it up with mild attitude and throwing it into the open washing machine, making him sigh as he caged you in with his arms on either side of you, chest against your backside. "And since when, pray tell, do we have such an attitude?" He grumbled, his voice low as he spoke close to your ear. You squirmed a bit, trying to duck your way out of your current situation, but he'd easily caught onto your plan by grabbing your wrists and holding them onto the edge of the washing machine, keeping you in place. "Hm?" He pressed, as you simply shrugged your shoulders. "Huh. I see." He said, as he suddenly detached himself from you, leaving the bathroom.

"Jungkook?" You asked meekly, peaking around the corner of your living room where he'd sat down, on his phone. He hummed an answer without looking up, aknowledging your questioning call of his name, but not giving you full attention. Did you get too far? "Aren't you.. you know, gonna shower too?" You asked, and he nodded, still not looking at you.

"I'll take one after you're done." He simply said, and the corners of your lips turned downwards at that, almost asking why, before your mind connected the dots.

He was punishing you.

You stepped back inside the bathroom, ridding yourself of your undergarments before stepping inside the shower, cleaning yourself. Until today, Jungkook had never really punished any behavior other than when you didn't speak clearly. He'd always simply taken it as you being a bit impish that day, as if you were just in a funny mood. This was new to you, and you didn't know if you were happy with it or not, simply because you could not clearly figure out if it was for the right reason in your eyes.

You stepped outside the shower, eyes widening at the fluffy sweater and sweatpants, as well as underwear he'd set out for you on the sink. He maybe gave you the silent treatment, but this simple gesture made your heart melt. He really was too sweet for you. Grabbing everything and slowly dressing yourself, you dried your hair with a towel until it stopped dripping, as it slipped from your hand, falling to the ground and taking some stray items next to the sink with it. You didn't look as you tried to catch it from actually meeting the floor, hand failing to reach the fabric, but instead squeezing something else, that made you take in a sharp breath, instantly dropping whatever you had in your hand just now.

Small red droplets fell to the floor as you squeezed your hand, whimpering a bit, careful not to be too loud to catch Jungkooks attention. You panicked a bit as you saw the amount of blood collecting in your palm, on the white tiles the razor you had accidentally grabbed in your fast movement. You grabbed a freshly cleaned kitchen towel from the bag of recently cleaned things such as oven mitts and the dogbed Jungkook had bought second hand. You wrapped it around tightly, but it still seeped through, making you sigh out. Nop, you had to get him.

“Jungkookie..?” You timidly asked, leaning against the doorframe as he turned around from his spot in front of his TV, pulling down his headset.

“Yeah Princess?” He asked, raising his eyebrow in a silent question at your form.

“So uh..” you started, trying to ignore the angry throbbing of your hand. “Let’s say uh, purely hypothetically, you cut yourself accidentally in your hand, when should you like.. you know, see a doc?” You asked, biting your lip.

Jungkooks eyebrows furrowed, immediately getting up as soon as he discarded his headset of the floor, walking over to you and reaching out for your hand that you had behind your back. “I ain’t playing games young lady, Hand. Now.” He demanded, and you hesitantly gave in, putting your hand wrapped in a kitchen towel into his waiting ones, as he unraveled the fabric, making you hiss and whine. He grabbed your wrist to take away the possibility of pulling away from him as he sharply took in air between his teeth, carefully inspecting the cut in your palm. “Wrap it up Baby and get my car keys.” He said, already switching off the TV as he ushered you into the small hallway, not taking chances with it.

Oh boy, you really were making a mess today, weren't you?

"...'m hungry koo.." You drawled, making him chuckle a bit as he fastened your seatbelt for you. "Did you hear me?" You asked, a bit like you talked whenever you were drunk. He have had the wonderful privilege of knowing that after picking you up from a birthday party once.

"I've heard you loud and clear baby." He said, closing the car door and walking around the front to open his own and climbing into the drivers seat, a click signifying that he'd put on his own safety as well before he started the engine. "But the nurse said you can't eat anything for the next few hours, at least until the medication has worn off." He said, and you whined, sinking down in your seat, glaring at your bright pink bandage wrapped around your hand as if to set it on fire. To Jungkooks eyes it just looked absolutely adorable. "I promise you I'll get you whatever you want as dinner tonight. Sounds good?" He asked, looking at you for a moment at a red light. You mumbled something but nodded. "What was that?" He said, and you huffed.

"I said 'yeah okay I guess." You repeated your words, and he chuckled. "You're not takin' me seriously Koo!" You whined, and he smiled as he tapped your shoulder, silently ordering you to sit properly.

"I admit that Princess." He said, taking a moment to take in both sides of the road before continuing to drive. "But I can't really do that since you're a bit out of it baby." You gasped as if he'd just insulted you, rolling your eyes. "I saw that." He said sternly, and you squirmed in your place. "you've been huffy like this the entire day today. Do I need to do something about that?" He said, implying something you weren't too sure of.

"m not a baby.." You mumbled as you looked out of the window, making Jungkook smile a bit.

"Well you're behaving like one though. A pretty bratty one at that." He said, and you looked at him.

"Is that bad?" You asked, and he raised his eyebrows as he stopped at a red light again, urging you to continue talking. "Is it bad that I wanna have you taking care o'me like that.?" You carefully worded, even though your words were still a bit hazy. He shook his head.

"I never said I didn't like it, didn't I?" He said, and you simply nodded, but face visibly still uncertain. "It sure isn't like anything I've experienced before, and I'm gonna be honest, I highly doubt I'm fit to be someone to take care of someone like you, but I'm also a selfish asshole who can't give up trying. So yeah, that's that I guess." He spoke, and you looked at him with eyes full of wonder, making him chuckle a bit uneasy. "What now?"

"Your eyes look like Bambis!" You suddenly exclaimed, and he suddenly burst out laughing, that signature laugh were he kind of sounded like a maniac, voice high pitched and mouth wide open. "They do!"

He had to blink a bit to get his eyes to clear up. "I'm sure they do, I'm sure."

"But you're not cute like Bambi." You said, looking out the window.

"I'm not? Why not baby?" He asked, and you seemed to think for a moment, until you answered.

"Dunno." You began, before speaking your next words without hesitation. "maybe because I have to think about the times we had sex, and I can't think of you as cute anymore afterwards."

This time it was him that suddenly went a bit red on the tips of his ears. You never spoke openly about your intimate life like that, so hearing you say it out loud was foreign to him. "Really now?" He said, simply to keep the conversation flowing. He wanted to make the most out of your dazed state, speaking without any filter.

"Hmhm." You hummed. "But now that I think about it, you are kind of cute." You said, and he simply huffed out a breath. "Cause you always take care of me afterwards, no matter how hard you get. You know, remember that time you used that cute vibrator-" Jungkook coughed, replying with a yes. Of course he remembered that. "Yeah, you were sooo sweet afterwards~" You said as you yawned, just before he finally parked the car in front of your apartment complex. "Hm, I liked that." You said, and he looked at you.

"You did? But I was being pretty mean." He said, and you shook your head.

"No. 'Koo's never mean." You mumbled, and he smiled.

His feet walked over the floor, getting closer and closer until the smell of his bodywash hit your nose as he'd crouched right in front of your seemingly sleeping form on his bed, oblivious to the fact that you were slowly regaining consciousness after your short nap on the mattress to clear your system of the medication used to numb your hand as they cleaned and wrapped the skin up. He tapped your nose a few times until you scrunched it up cutely, making him chuckle a bit. You opened your eyes with a pout, until your gaze lowered, noticing his.. very obvious lack of clothing.

"YAH Jungkook, why are you naked?!" You yelled, immediately sitting up and holding a pillow in front of your face, making him burst out laughing.

He grabbed onto the pillow to lower it, but you held it firmly, making him laugh even more. "Baby it's not like you haven't seen my dick before-" He said between his chuckling, but you shook your head behind your makeshift barrier.

"Well yeah but-" You said, "But this is so unexpected I wasn't prepared- just put on pants Jungkook!" You begged as he took your only safety away, leaving you to hold your hands over your eyes, face red as he seemingly couldn't stop laughing.

Initially he'd just tried to wake you to ask where you'd put his most comfortable sweatpants after not finding them in his bedroom earlier, and forgetting to ask you about them when you had finished your shower earlier. But teasing you would always stay hilarious to him, the way you would still blush and get shy whenever he'd do things like that never failing to make him smile. "I would but you hid them so good I can't find them." He said. "Have you seen my black sweatpants? The ones with the white writing on the side?" He asked.

"Jungkook, they're still in the wash, and also-" You took your hands away from your eyes to be met with him still in front of you, skin slightly shiny from his shower. "Jesus-! Also if you're searching for your Sweats why the hell aren't you at least wearing underwear?!" you whined, and he laughed.

"Well I wasn't really planning on wearing any underneath to be honest." He casually explained, sitting down next to you on his bed as he layed down at your legs on his side, his head near your thigh as his hand traced yours still shielding your eyes. He didn't grab nor pulled, he simply tapped it with his finger. "Come on princess, am I that bad to look at?" He said with a whine, and you shook your head. "Then why won't you look at me?" He asked, making you sigh, falling down into the pillows behind you, making him get up a bit to crawl next to you, laying on his stomach. "Okay, my dick is snuggling the mattress now, you can't see it. Can you look at me now?" He asked with a hint of teasing in his voice, as you slowly opened your eyes, testing as if to see if he was lying. He wasn't.

"Jungkookie~!" You whined, and he simply copied you like a parrot, making you pout at him.

"Oh come on, you love this dick!" He exclaimed, and you laughed a bit as you squealed at his hands tickling your sides. "Say it!" He said between laughter, and you shook your head, even as tears gathered in your eyes. "Come on, say it!" He said, not letting you breath.

"Okay okay, I love your dick, I love your dick jungkook please stop!" You said, laughter turning into squeaky noises- something you hated, and he loved.

"Good." He simply said, entire nature of his antics shifting as his hands found their way inside your pants, pulling them down in practiced motion, taking your underwear right along the ride down to your calfs where he simply let them fall down next to his bed, uncaring. He positioned himself between your open legs, next target of his wandering palms underneath your sweater, having already noticed that you had skipped your bra he'd put out for you. It made it easier to access your breasts for him, so he didn't mind at all.

You sighed at it, already at his mercy with just a simple action. Your eyes never leaving his as he watched you squirming underneath him in anticipation of what he had in store for you, already getting riled up at his intense gaze. "I believe earlier you said something about the cute vibrator we used before, hm?" He said, and you turned red at that, having hoped he'd forgotten about it. He simply dug inside his infamous bedside drawer, pulling the toy out, and carefully running it over your center, collecting your already very present wetness as a form of lubrication to push the toy inside you, slowly, as to not make it too uncomfortable. "I also remember your attitude today." He mused as he watched the toy slowly disappear inside you, small rabbit gimmick on the top side of it slowly taking its place snug against your pearl, making you move your hips a bit. "Do you think you've been a good girl today?" He asked, testing how to get you into your familiar headspace. It seemed to work immediately.

"N-no.." You hummed, eyes already moving around a bit anxiously at the way he spoke. He usually didn't address anything that happened during the day whenever you both had sex, always keeping it plain and simple while still changing up the pace and overall energy of it almost every time. Sometimes he was incredibly sweet, while others your muscles ached afterwards in the most delicious of ways. This time however, the theme felt a little different.

"Then you'll know why I'm gonna do this, and you'll take it like the good girl we both know you are, right?" He said, before turning on the toy, low buzzing making you yelp a bit, hands grabbing the sheets. "Keep it there while I watch you." He said, and your eyes widened as you tried to look at him. His eyes held an almost predatory energy in them. "And don't you fucking dare close your legs." He hummed, low voice showing how serious he was about it.

You nodded, hips moving a bit as you tried to hold them as still as possible- the relentless pace of the toy however, made it increasingly difficult to do so as you tried to breath steadily, not noticing how Jungkook himself had taken on another position on the bed, tattooed hand pumping his already hardening length in his hand, lazily, not really having his own release in mind at all. It simply increased the pleasure he already felt watching you- not only watching you, but knowing that you actually tried to follow his orders. It made him feel powerful in a different way he'd craved before he'd met you- and he could say for sure that it already had him addicted. Your soft moans suddenly shifted as your hips bucked into nothing, your thighs trembling as you came in front of him.

He made no move.

You whined at the overstimulation, craving to close your legs, feet already kicking away softly, yet you forced them to stay open as long as you could, breath escaping you in small bursts of air, and Jungkook fed on that view, burning it into his mind before he turned off the toy once he saw your eyes squeeze shut in discomfort. He hushed you softly as he pulled it out of you, letting it bounce slightly off of your clothes on the floor to be cleaned later. His hands found their way underneath your thighs, pushing them upwards as he layed a palm over your center, making you jump a bit at the contact, but you soon relaxed again as he kissed you deeply, tongue instantly forcing its way between your lips.

You didn't put up much of a fight when it came to him anyways.

Slowly, pleasure returned, building up again after your last orgasm as he let your hips roll into his steady hand, letting you decide the pace for a moment, before he took a condom and pulled it over his length, entering you slowly, too slow for your liking. He chuckled at your eagerness before he pushed your thighs apart, flat on the bed as he began a steady but relentless pace right from the start. He could feel your soft muscles tremble underneath his fingers as he held them in place, your own hands reaching for him as he leaned closer, giving you the opportunity to at least try and wrap your hands around his middle- failing however.

It came suddenly.

Normally you'd feel it build up, but it was his hand reaching down as you were delirious with pleasure, flicking your bud just right as you clenched around him, making him gasp as your fingers dug into his back, leaving angry red marks just underneath his shoulder blades as you felt yourself release- quite literally.

Jungkook continued throughout your sudden orgasm, eyes widening as he saw you squirting underneath him, coating his lower abdomen and thighs in clear wetness. He pulled out, leaning down as he placed his mouth onto your intimate parts, tongue working on your nub again softly as he groaned at the taste of you and the way you whined and moaned, openly without any hesitation. It was so enticing to see you like that, how you suddenly sobbed drily in pleasure as you felt him work you through all the overstimulation towards another one, parting with a kiss to push himself inside again, this time sitting, grabbing just underneath your knees to pull you close to him, eyes never leaving the visual pleasure that was his own cock re- and disappearing inside you over and over again, until he felt himself release, pulling out and working his hand over your nub in a fast pace, making you scream for a second before you came with a silent cry, back arching off the mattress underneath, making him sigh at the view.

Your leg quivered, feeling dangerously close to cramping up as Jungkook softly worked his fingers over your muscles, easing them up so that wouldn't happen to you, even in his post orgasmic bliss purely focused on you and your well-being.

He sloppily tied up the condom, throwing it into the bin next to his bed and simply letting himself fall onto the sheets next to you, uncaring of the drenched fabric underneath you both. He simply pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you as you tried to catch your breath, softly muttering praises into your ear as you fell asleep.

Hearing the door open, you instantly got up from the couch, spotting Jungkook and the light grey dog carrier walking into your living room.

You didn't come along this time because you felt like you would just make the dog anxious with your restless emotions, and Jungkook had decided to pick up the dog without you after that. He slowly put the plastic cage down, opening the door as you both sat down on the floor, waiting for the puppy to emerge.

Which happened quite quickly.

You both had visited her as much as possible to get her comfortable with you, and it showed; as soon as the fluffy white dog spotted you, she happily skipped over to you, licking your hand and chin as much as she could while you laughed. "I'm happy to see you too!" You exclaimed as the puppy barked away, excited at seeing both of her regular visitors now together.

Jungkook simply smiled at the picture in front of him, slowly taking out his phone to snap a memory for himself of that moment.

He really was whipped for you.

After getting acquainted with all of the furniture and rooms of your apartment, you both took Miri out for a walk, Jungkook having remembered that he'd promised you anything you wanted for dinner, which, not to his surprise, involved getting chicken nuggets and milkshakes. It was okay for him however, since you had deserved it after the amazing time you'd given him.

While watching you walk the dog so happily, he reminded himself that this was exactly what he wanted in life. A simple experience like this felt magical with you, the way you saw everything in a special light slowly coloring the picture in front of his own eyes more vibrantly as well. It was truly something only you could do to him.

He didn't need much money, a large house, or anything else. As long as he had this, he would stay happy.

"You know, I never knew you could squirt."

"Jungkook!"

"What?!"

"Not in front of the dog!"

"Oh, really now?!"

[enamoured-x]

so it goes

Summary: When Alex moves in across the hall, Rio knows he’s in trouble. A good girl like her would never want anything to do with him, or so he thinks. 

Word count: 2k

Chapter 10 

To say Rio was on cloud nine would be an understatement. He felt on top of the damn world as he replayed the events that took place just last night. How fucking good it felt to finally be able to kiss her, to hold her close and just feel her. He knew he was already gone for her, that much was true but after last night but it was scary how much Rio felt so fast. 

He was in such a good mood and even the bitches from the suburbs that he was doing business with were not going to bring him down. Rio dreaded meet ups with them, sure sometimes he’d get a rise out of their fear but Beth always rubbed him the wrong way. She spent a few months playing robber and making cash and suddenly she thought she was a big dog. Beth was a big pain in his ass but even she couldn’t take away from the good day he was having. 

Rio hopped out of his car, Mick following suit. They both made their way over to Beth, Annie, and Ruby. The former looking way more smug than her two other accomplices. 

“It’s all there.” Beth said as Mick started to grab the four boxes on the table they were sitting at. 

“I’ll count it and tell you if it’s all there.” Rio replied as Mick took the boxes back to the car. 

“Same time next week, ladies?” Rio asked teasingly, there was no question about it. They were going to see him whether they liked it or not. 

As he went to turn away Beth stopped him. 

“Wait.” Rio turned back to face her. He noticed how Annie and Beth were giving her glares, probably desperate to be done with him already. 

Rio tilted his head waiting for her to talk. Beth stood up and walked over to him and then reached in her bag. Rio had his hands behind his back but made no move to defend himself, he knew Beth wouldn’t be so stupid to shoot him here and now. 

He watched her as she pulled out some colorful flowers. He was confused as Beth handed them to him. He looked down at the petals and then his eye caught the tag that was attached to the string. Flor Amor.

Rio’s heart stopped in his chest. 

“My way of saying thank you for hearing me out and letting us live.” She said and smiled. For a second Rio thought that it could just be a fluke, everyone shopped at Alex’s. But Beth wasn’t the type of person to just stumble upon coincidences, this had to be deliberate. 

“Where did you get these?” Rio gritted out. He was about to boil over with rage. There’s no way Beth could be this stupid, no way she would essentially threaten Alex. 

“Oh, a really cute flower shop a few blocks from here. You should meet the owner, Alex. Very nice girl, very sweet.” Beth’s smirk told Rio all he needed to know. He dropped the flowers and grabbed Beth by the neck, squeezing but not enough to actually kill her. She gasped in shock and wrapped her hands around his arm. Fear was now evident in her eyes. Annie and Ruby quickly got up and rushed to her side and started pleading with Rio but he didn’t hear any of it. All he could think about was Beth talking to Alex. Beth taking advantage of Alex’s kindness. Beth telling Alex who Rio was. What he actually did. 

“You go anywhere near her or that shop again, I’ll kill you.” Is all he said before he pushed her away. Beth and Ruby went to her aid to make sure she was alright as she clutched her neck. He went to turn away but Beth spoke up again. He was sure she had a death sentence. He didn’t turn around this time, just stood there, backing facing them. 

“Does she know what you are?” She asked, smugness still in her tone despite her life being threatened only seconds ago. Rio didn’t say anything and instead walked back to the car. 

No, Alex didn’t know what he was. But even he didn’t know that, did he? Was he a monster? A villain? A villain only bringing the poor innocent girl into the crossfire to potentially be collateral damage? No. No he wasn’t. Was he? He hated how wound up that question got him. How it made him start to think. How last night he was so eager to make Alex his but he was going crazy with how to tell her. He couldn’t lie to her. Truth was the foundation of any good relationship, he knew that. He couldn’t just cling on to ignorance being bliss, because what they don’t tell you is that eventually, that ignorance breaks and in its wake is a whole lot of secrets and lies exposed. If ignorance is bliss than the truth is a bitch. And the truth was what Alex would get from him sooner or later. Right now he just wanted to see her, despite Beth not being one to actually hurt an innocent girl, he still needed to see Alex. So he drove until he reached her shop. He normally wouldn’t come empty handed but he didn’t care and he doubted that Alex would either. Mick made himself scarce as Rio entered the shop. He was quickly hit with the smell of fresh flowers and he could faintly smell hints of Alex’s perfume. Hope and Allie were the ones to great him with big smiles. 

“Hey, Rio.” They both said, knowing smiles on their faces. No doubt they had forced Alex to tell them everything that had happened last night. 

“Hey, ladies. How are you both today?” Rio leaned against the counter. He liked the girls, he could see how much they cared for Alex and Rio felt that they were genuine. 

They both replied, creating a bit of conversation. Rio didn’t mind, he wasn’t going to be rude and any friend of hers was sure to be a friend of his if he played his cards right. 

“Are you two going to actually help me or are you going to just–” Alex stopped as she came out from the back room. Her eyes immediately locking with Rio’s. 

“Hey, mamas.” Rio said, standing up straight. 

“We’ll help. Go on.” Allie and Hope pushed Alex forward and out of the doorway as they disappeared in the back. 

“Hey.” Alex smiled. A blush taking over her cheeks. She walked over to Rio and he pulled her into him like it was second nature and pressed a kiss to her lips. Alex smiled through it and Rio couldn’t keep the grin off his face either. They both laughed and then went in for another kiss. Rio could get used to this. He could do this every damn day. Kissing her was so fucking intoxicating. They finally pulled away. He was happy that even though they had only had one date, she was already comfortable enough with him to be this intimate so quickly. 

“Kinda missed you.” Alex said, turning even more red as she admitted it. Rio kissed her forehead and took her face in his hands to tilt her to look up at him. 

“Yeah? I missed you too.” He said and they both grinned. 

“Didn’t they just see each other last night…”

“Leave them alone, they’re cute.” 

Alex huffed and turned to see both Allie and Hope peeking out of the doorframe. Rio was amused as they quickly hid from view. 

“I pay you to work not to be nosey.” Alex shook her head and turned back to Rio. He laughed lightly as she rolled her eyes. 

“So, I was thinking, if you’re not busy… maybe you could come over tonight and I could make dinner and dessert?” Alex bit her lip, waiting for his response. Rio brought his thumb to tug her bottom lip away from her teeth. She let him as he trailed his thumb along her bottom lip and then he his eyes met hers again after watching the movement. 

“I’d like that, sweetheart. What’s on the menu?” He still held her as she had her hands on his back. Chests still grazing. 

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Alex gave him a wide smile and he returned it. He didn’t care what she was making, he’d be there and he’d be grateful and happy. He was glad to see her. It put him back in a good mood again despite Beth somehow knowing who she was and who she was to Rio. He’d have to delve into that later, right now, today, he just wanted to be with Alex. 

“You good?” Alex asked as she noticed Rio seemed to go off somewhere. 

He smiled and gave her a kiss to the cheek. He loved how she already knew him so well, knew something was up. She could read him already and he didn’t entirely mind. 

“Yeah, long morning. Better now though.” He said. She took the answer but still had worry lingering. 

“Want to talk about it?” Alex knew she was at work but it was a dead hour and the girls could manage without her if she needed to step away. 

“Nah, it’s nothing. You hungry? I can bring you back some lunch?” He offered, trying to get her mind off his apprehension. 

“I just ate but thanks.” Alex swooned at the fact that Rio was willing to bring her back food. A customer walked in and Allie quickly tended to the person so Alex could stay talking to Rio. 

“I guess I should let you get back to it.” He said and pulled away, bringing his hands down to her hips. 

“Yeah, be at my place around seven?” She asked and he nodded in agreement. 

“I’ll be there.” Rio couldn’t help himself as he pulled her in for another kiss. He’d keep doing it as long as she was okay with it. But she didn’t seem to mind at all as she relaxed into it and then broke away, heat rising to her cheeks as she made sure the customer didn’t see them. PDA was surely not good for business and not exactly professional either. 

“Bye, Rio.” She said, pushing him away and laughing as he smirked and tried to kiss her again. 

“Alright, alright. Bye, mamas. See you tonight.” He said and finally left her alone and walked out of the shop. 

Rio felt a wave of emotion after seeing Alex again. On one hand he was happy to see her safe and okay, and well, he was just happy to see her in general. But even so, he couldn’t get what Beth said out of his head. Couldn’t shake the feeling that he was only going to do more harm than good. But he kept holding on to Alex’s smile, and the way her lips moved with his, and the way she blushed whenever he was around. He didn’t want to mess that up but he didn’t want to keep this from her because he knew it would blow up in his face if he left it on the back burner. He needed to come clean and fast if Beth was going to be stupid enough to continue lurking around Alex and the shop. He knew it would be worse if Alex heard it from Beth. He struggled with how to tell her, when to tell her. They had just gone on their first date and although some part of him felt that it was too soon, another part told him that it was the perfect time, the beginning of the relationship is when you lay yourself out for the person to see, to see if they will take everything you’re offering. 

Rio was cursing himself. Maybe he could tell her tonight. But if he was going to tell her, he needed to be prepared to lose her tonight too. He didn’t think he was ready for that. 

Taglist: @thickemadame @fairywriter-oracle @joalsglasses @naysianaee @gemini0410 @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat chocolat @helloosilver @scuzmunkie @xstylishmileage @starrynite7114 @wanhedavaliquette @laricebabe @oscars-wifeyyy

[owl-with-a-pen]

This one has been on my mind for awhile, kinda odd. What if female brainy and Nia had an interaction? Hearing female brainy say that she was married had me thinking that perhaps she was married to “another Nia” seeing as she said it was a female I can imagine they looked similar!

- I really like this idea! I decided to set this back in 5x10, just after Nia is injured by bottle!Brainy. Thank you for the prompt, I hope you like it! x

The moment Brainy fled the room, Nia had wanted to go after him. If pain hadn’t flared up her side the second she’d tried to get off the bed, she would have done just that. Instead, she could only lie there, waiting for the fire in her nerves to dull with every steady breath that passed through her teeth. Nothing was broken, Kara’s x-ray vision had already confirmed that, but that bad Brainy had really done a number on her ribs, enough that she was pretty sure she’d have a nasty bruise to show for it by tomorrow.

Alex had insisted that she lie down for at least a little while, and if the room hadn’t spun so violently when Nia had sat up to argue with her, she’d be wherever Brainy was right now, trying to help him through all this.

In the end, Kara had volunteered to go in Nia’s steed, which she was incredibly grateful for. If anyone was going to get through to Brainy right now, Nia had no doubt that Kara could do it. He needed someone he trusted there with him, someone who could offer their advice, their support, hell, even some kind of motivational speech if needed, and if there was one thing Nia knew Kara was awesome at, it was motivational speeches.

It still sucked that she was stuck here, though. That she couldn’t be there for him.

Nia grimaced as she wriggled on the bed, trying desperately to get comfortable. It wasn’t exactly easy, the mattress was about as thin as paper and, without the guard rails up, Nia was one awkward shuffle away from toppling face down onto the linoleum beneath her.

Alex had left a little while after Kara, promising she’d be checking in regularly. Nia couldn’t exactly fault her, she did have a whole organisation to run, after all. Still, she kinda wished it didn’t mean that she was left alone with…

Her.

Nia really, really couldn’t figure out just what the hell Director Dox’s deal was. Brainy’s female counterpart hadn’t gone with the other Brainys to Al’s bar. In fact, Nia wasn’t even totally sure where she’d been at all. There was certainly something more languid about her than the other Brainys. She wasn’t quite as high-strung, and yet there was a calm focus in her expression that proved she was putting her thought tracks to good use. Doing what, Nia wasn’t sure, but she’d seen that look on Brainy’s face enough times to know what it meant.

Director Dox had been planning something, maybe from the second she’d reached this timeline, and it had nothing to do with the bad Brainy.

Nia assumed that whatever it was that had Director Dox’s attention, it’d be enough to draw her elsewhere. And yet, even after everyone else had left, there she remained, hanging like a shadow in the doorway.

She’d made herself comfortable in the archway, her back was pressed against the frame, her body angled so that she could watch Nia without being obvious about it.

Except, it was obvious. Totally and completely obvious.

That gave Nia reason to smile, at least. Guess subtlety escaped Brainy in any reality.

When it became clear Director Dox wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, Nia cleared her throat, glancing towards her. “You don’t have to do that,” she said.

To her credit, Director Dox didn’t look surprised that she’d been spotted, only curious. She quirked a brow. “Do what?”

Nia smiled, rolling her eyes. “Keep watch over me.” She eased herself up the bed a little, hissing as a sharp twinge rolled through her chest. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a few bruises.” She sighed, glancing past Director Dox, out into the hall. “I’m more worried about-”

“Prime.” Director Dox didn’t phrase it like a question. Instead, she lifted her chin, pushing herself into an upright position.

Nia pursed her lips. “I’ve just never seen him like this before,” she admitted. “Like he’s so uncertain of himself.”

Director Dox considered something before she folded her arms, stepping out from the arch. Nia watched her as she crossed the room towards her. “It is true,” Director Dox began reluctantly, “that while he is inhibited… he is not capable of reaching his true potential. So far from Colu, it would be difficult to notice any variances from the rest of our kind without them present. Unless, of course, an event such as this occurred.”

Nia winced. Brainy had never really gone into detail about his inhibitors before, only that he considered them a part of him, that they served a purpose - to prevent him from becoming his mother.

Nia had tried to pry more into exactly what they did for him on several occasions, but Brainy had always been reluctant to go into detail. She’d hoped that maybe after time, he’d build the confidence to tell her more about them. Finding out in this way, though, felt so inorganic, and totally outside of Brainy’s comfort zone. She knew just how much he’d tried to hide his past from his friends, especially where his ancestors were concerned, but being faced with an evil variant of himself? The shrinking technology his own mother had used to bottle worlds?

Everything they had learnt today had been divulged without Brainy’s consent, and Nia knew just how uncomfortable that had made him.

Although, it wasn’t what Director Dox had said about his ancestors that had shaken him the most. Nia had seen the moisture that had welled in Brainy’s eyes the moment he’d realised that the bad Brainy had used his own inhibitors to fool them. She’d tried to squeeze his hand then, just as firmly as he’d been squeezing hers, but he’d hardly reacted to her. Instead, his eyes had already begun tracking listlessly, so far out of reach, distant from his own reality.

She’d known he was going to run long before he’d let go of her hand.

Nia could still feel the impression of him, though, the warmth of his palm clasped around hers. She blinked suddenly, clenching her jaw as she began to feel a prickling in her own eyes. “He blames himself,” Nia murmured. “For what that other Brainy did.”

“He does,” Director Dox acknowledged solemnly. At some point, she’d pulled up a chair to Nia’s bedside. She sat heavily against it, joining her fingers together before splaying them out in front of her. She stared into her lap, brow furrowed. “The other Brainy took advantage of something outside of Prime’s control.” She met Nia’s eyes with disconcerting pragmatism. “Although, it is also true that it would not have been possible for this bad Brainy to fool us had Prime not been wearing his inhibitors.”

“That’s not his fault,” Nia gritted, clenching her hands against the sheets. “He didn’t choose this.”

“He didn’t,” Director Dox agreed, voice softening as she pursed her lips. She studied her hands for a long moment before glancing up again, resting her forearms against her knees. “Lack of control can be daunting, especially for us. But… that was not what terrified Prime today.”

Director Dox pulled an odd kind of expression then. A tight, almost-smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Nia’s breath stuttered suddenly, a strange bubble forming in her chest. Her eyes… they reminded her so much of Brainy’s. Although, Nia supposed they were Brainy’s eyes.

“What do you mean?” Nia asked numbly.

Director Dox sighed, easing forward in her chair. “Losing you, Nia,” she said. “That is what scared Prime the most.”

Nia’s throat closed up. Although a lot of her altercation with the bad Brainy was kind of fuzzy now, she still remembered the aftermath. Of being curled and dazed on the floor, grabbing for Brainy’s arm as he’d cradled her against his chest. She could still see that flash of terror in his eyes, could hear his voice as he’d murmured her name over and over into her hair, burying his face against her, unwilling to let go.

“I know how that feels,” Director Dox continued, her smile already beginning to wane. She was leaned in so close now that the tips of her fingers brushed against the mattress. “I… I had a wife.”

The use of the past tense hung heavily in the air between them.

Nia swallowed thickly. “What happened?”

“She died.”

Nia closed her eyes. She shouldn’t have asked, the answer had been a given. “God,” she murmured, “I’m- I’m so sorry.”

Nia wasn’t sure what possessed her to do it, but when she saw the vulnerable furrow in Director Dox’s brow, the pained look in her eyes, Nia desperately wanted to do something, anything to try and help. And so, she reached out, taking Director Dox’s hand in her own.

A shudder passed down Director Dox’s spine and her fingers clenched around Nia’s, squeezing tight. Something heavy settled in Nia’s stomach. From the moment Director Dox had stepped into the DEO, she’d held herself so strongly. She was a leader where she came from, someone who had to exude strength and control at all times so that the people under her watch would feel safe.

But, she wasn’t on her Earth anymore. Her Earth was gone, destroyed, alongside everyone she loved. Still, there was an old pain in Director Dox’s eyes, one that suggested that the loss of her wife had happened long before Crisis.

“Death is not quite the same for Coluans,” Director Dox said slowly, her hand laxing in Nia’s. Still, she didn’t make any move to pull away from her. “We can store the essence of our loved ones within the Big Brain, our network of minds. You do not truly lose them in that way.” Director Dox looked up suddenly, that focus returning to her expression. “It is one of the reasons why it’s so important to us. You cannot be complete without it. Inhibited, the connection to the Big Brain is not present and so, had Prime lost you, he would have experienced death in a far more mortal sense of the word.”

Nia’s mouth felt dry suddenly. She shook her head slowly, uncomprehendingly. “But, I’m not Coluan,” she said in confusion. “Brainy wouldn’t’ve-”

“Nia,” Director Dox said, sudden enough to stop her. Her grip doubled down around Nia’s. “My wife wasn’t Coluan, either.”

“Oh.” Nia blinked. She hadn’t exactly expected that, although if this version of Brainy was anything like Nia’s, then she would have likely left Colu far behind the second she’d been given the opportunity.

That odd expression of hers made a lot more sense now. Nia recognised it as a sad kind of nostalgia, clouding the pain that she clearly felt behind a mask of vague half smiles that never quite reached those large, dark eyes.

Brainy’s eyes.

Whenever Director Dox looked at her, it seemed to ignite so much within them. A fondness and reverence identical to her Brainy’s.

Nia’s heart clenched. If Director Dox’s life had been so similar to Brainy’s, then was that why she’d stuck around when everyone else had left? Why she’d been watching Nia so closely? Why every lingering glance in her direction looked like it held a storm behind it?

Was it possible? Could it be possible?

“Querl,” Nia said, pushing herself forward, ignoring every ache and pain warning her against the movement. “Your wife. Who was she?”

Director Dox’s lips trembled slightly, barely perceptible, but it was enough. She didn’t need to say it out loud, Nia was already certain she understood. That pain could only mean one thing.

Director Dox was clutching onto Nia in much the same way one might clutch onto a ghost.

“I’m sorry,” Nia managed. I’m sorry I’m not her. That I can’t be her.

But, if Director Dox was right about the Big Brain, at least it meant she carried a piece of her Nia with her, wherever she went.

Still, Nia suspected she couldn’t hold her wife’s hands like this, couldn’t stare into eyes that she thought she might never see physically realised in front of her ever again. Nia was suddenly much too aware of the blood still smearing her brow, how every twinge of pain reflected in her expression must have hurt Director Dox as much as it had Brainy, maybe even more.

Director Dox’s dark hair slipped forward as she bowed her head, lifting Nia’s hand in her own, as though she was afraid her fingers might slip through hers at a second’s notice. “You were right,” she said, choking out a small laugh. Her lips were so close to Nia’s hand, that her breath scattered across her knuckles. “I don’t have to be here.” When she looked up again, her expression was sincere, her eyes bright with fresh moisture. “But, I want to be.”

Nia offered her a gentle smile, strengthening her hold around Director Dox’s – Querl Dox’s - hand. “Okay,” she said softly.

They didn’t say anything to each other past that point, and Nia didn’t try to pry. She couldn’t say that she trusted Director Dox’s motives, couldn’t even say she knew what those motives were, but for the moment that didn’t matter.

Maybe she couldn’t be there for her boyfriend right now, but she could be there for his counterpart.

Maybe, that was exactly where she needed to be.  

[vicarfelix]

Honest Intentions

__

Vicar Max x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language. Smut.

A/N: GOD okay so I wrote this awhile ago and I cannot write smut to save my life. I suck so bad at it, I can’t ever seem to make it long enough, but this was so angsty good that I just couldn’t not post it.

Word Count: 2,155

“The question is, after all this, do you still trust me?”

__

If she had been in a cartoon, she was sure there would have been a gray, swirling cloud above her head to display her irritation. She couldn’t believe that he had lied to her. A lie. A betrayal of truth. A fib. A dishonest statement. And for what? Just to ensure his chances of her taking him to see some scholar that he didn’t even like? What was the point of that?

She never expected respect from her crew. She didn’t expect it from anybody. However, when she had earned the respect from someone, she expected full honesty in return. This was a total blow to her respect as a captain and trust as a girlfriend. She was unbelievably angry at him, confused even as of to why he wasn’t upfront about his desires. Truthfully, she was really hurt.

Max had lied in order to get her to take him to see Reginald. A former colleague of sorts of his that he needed to see to have his book translated from French. It wasn’t until they found Reginald that it became clear as of to how they even ended up there. Max claimed he couldn’t risk her not bringing him there to find him. He immediately sensed that she was upset. She had every right to be. The sickness in his stomach as a result of the guilt was a testament of that. She had convinced him to leave Reginald Chaney in one piece, refusing to let him lay a finger on him. They got what they needed out of him and left.

The silent trek back to the ship was seemingly everlasting. Her footsteps were heavy on the grounds of the Monarch wilderness as they returned back from Fallbrook. She needed some time to calm down and cool off before speaking to anyone. She was of no use to anybody being this upset. Last thing she wanted was to take her anger out of someone who didn’t deserve it. Max followed a bit further behind than usual, giving her as much space as possible without getting separated. No one said a word on the journey back to The Unreliable. Even Ellie didn’t even try to poke fun at the vicar who would be sleeping in his own quarters for now. It wasn't Max's reaction she was afraid of. It was the captain's.

They finally arrived at the ship long after nightfall, stars dotting the dark night sky. They would be spending the evening in route to Groundbreaker to get supplies and other materials in the morning. She entered the ship first, ADA greeting the returning space adventurers as always.

“Welcome back, Captain.”

She usually smiled in relief upon hearing her voice that signaled a safe return, but she was in no smiling mood. Everybody else had gone to their bunks for the night, which prompted Ellie to go as well. That left the captain and Max in the bay of the ship. The only sounds were the clanks and tinkers as she put away her belongings into the lockers. She couldn’t look at him. She was afraid that she just might lose it. He came up next to her, his voice low and quiet;

“Captain, I-”

“I don’t want to talk.”

He sighed. He wasn’t surprised at her response. He couldn’t figure out if she was speaking to him as his boss or his girlfriend...or both. She whisked away from the lockers and headed to the stairs leading up to her quarters. She just wanted to be alone for a little while and give this some serious thought. She planned on discussing everything with him in the morning. However she realized this was an impossible wish when he followed suit, desperate to get his message across to her;

“If nothing else, please know that I am sorry,” He pleaded, entering after his lover into her room; “I’m aware that I have put a lot of unnecessary stress on you today.”

She scoffed and shook her head incredulously. He didn’t seem to understand how the trust she had put in him had been seriously violated. That’s what made her more upset than anything. It was clear that he wasn’t leaving until this issue was resolved. So, she went off.

“You lied to me, Max. For personal gain,” she hissed; “I don’t like being lied to you.”

She was leaning against the frame of her bed, arms folded over her chest as Max was leaning against her desk. Her demeanor was tense and cold...not a pretty sight to see.

“I know. If it’s any consolation, I lied before I began to care for you...before I loved you. It wasn’t an attempt to break your faith in me.” He admitted.

A surge of energy went to her head, her cheeks heating with rage;

“That doesn’t make it any better. So, you didn’t lie to me as your lover? Fine. You still lied to me as your captain,” She snarled; “At the end of the day, Max, I am still your captain.”

He didn’t want to fight with her He didn’t want her to be angry at him. All he could do was continue to express his apology and hope she'd forgive him. He wasn’t lying when he said he cared about her. About how he loved her. The two of them had each said it once before, so she had to admit it made her heart beat a little faster hearing him say it again.

With this being said, he still had a rampant temper. Regardless of any situation, he didn’t like being talked to this way. He got defensive when others used an unpleasant tone with him. His pleading for forgiveness was beginning to mix with a sear of anger bubbling up in him.

“You are my captain, you will never witness me denying that. I don’t know what you wish for me to do other than tell you, honestly, that I’m sorry.” He replied, his voice getting rather scary; “But might I add that you weren’t so fucking honest at first either.”

All the blood in her body seemed to rush to her face and rapidly back down to her feet. She knew what he was talking about. The fact that the crew went months thinking she was actually Alex Hawthorne when she actually wasn’t. She hadn’t been upfront in the beginning and had lied about her identity. She would always feel a sense of culpability for that.

“I know that. I know that I didn’t tell anyone who I really was, but that was for the sake of my safety as well as everyone else’s. I lied because I had to,” She spat; “You lied for personal reasons. You lied to intentionally distress me and deceive me into doing something for you.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically and the veins in his arms were prevalent as he gripped the edge of the desk. He now felt like she was blowing this out of proportion.

“I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you. I would never do that,” He responded; “I lied because I didn’t think you’d take me all over Halcyon just to find some man that might have the answers I was looking for.”

She rubbed her temples with her fingers, feeling as if this conversation was going absolutely nowhere;

“That’s another thing,” She fired off; “What’s going to happen when we get to Scylla and the book gets translated? Will I no longer be of any use to you? Is this going to be over once you find what you're looking for?"

In an instant, his anger lifted and his heart seemed to stop at her words. She watched as a normal color returned to his face. His narrowed eyes and furrowed brows morphing into a softer, borderline concerned look. He stood from the desk and took the half step down from the desk to where she was standing. If there was one thing Vicar Max would never do, it would be that he would never lie about the way he felt about someone.

“Captain, darling, I wouldn’t ever lead you on that way. For any reason whatsoever.” He breathed out gently.

His sudden change in expression ultimately calmed her down as well. She sighed heavily as her judgement cleared. She knew why he really had lied. It wasn't to upset anyone. He had spent his whole life taking roads trying to find answers that ultimately led to a dead end. He was frustrated and disappointed. She could relate to that.

“I just want you to trust me. I want to trust you,” You admitted; “I would’ve taken you to him regardless of who he was. You didn’t have to lie.”

His hands cupped her face, she instinctively cocked her head to further rest her face in his hold.

“I trust you. I always have. I never intended for you to doubt how I feel, because I have been nothing but honest about it. I care about you and I love you.” He confessed; “The question is, after all this, do you still trust me?”

She did. 100% she trusted him. It would probably take a hell of a lot more than him lying about some sketchy prison dude to completely break her faith in him. However, she felt her devious side begin to bubble to the surface. She could totally use this situation to her advantage. Maybe she could get a little bit of a rise out of him in a positive way.

“I don’t know,” She said in an overly teasing tone; “I think a certain vicar is going to have to redeem himself somehow...”

His pupils dilated and his hands that had been by his sides were now slowly fumbling with the button and zipper on her pants.

“Is that so?” He purred in his captain’s ear; “I think I’ve got some ideas.”

In a matter of seconds, she was sprawled on the bed, pants discarded, and his kisses were hot on her neck. She moaned deliciously as his right middle and ring finger dragged across her heating sex, his left hand pinning her arms above her head

“Max...” She breathed out.

Oh, he loved when she said his name. It sent a fiery sensation all through his body. His strong, independent captain begging for him and only him. He was the only person who ever got to see her this way. She managed to break one of her hands free, reaching to unbuckle his own pants. However, he withdrew his hand and stopped her;

“This is all about you, Captain.” He growled.

His lips detached from her skin, he let go of her other arm as well and placed him face just in front of her. Her legs were draped over his shoulders as his tongue licked a heavy stripe and her desperate whimper filled the room. He sucked and kissed as one of her hands was steady on his head to prohibit him from going too far, while the other was pressed against the headboard behind her. It felt like electricity was crackling all through her body as he mercilessly pleasured her.

“Oh, fuck...you’ve got quite the mouth for a preacher,” She tried to laugh, but it came out as another moan.

Obviously this wasn't the first time she had ever been in this situation with him. But it still surprised her every time.

His chuckle vibrated against you, his voice muffled slightly;

“You better fucking believe it.”

He knew her backwards and forwards, which why he put his arm over her waist to keep her from squirming too much. He smirked as he felt her muscles contract against his hold. It was a damn hot sight to see. His face buried between her legs, his tongue and lips working wonders on the woman he adored so much. Normally, he’d hold off on letting her come undone. He’d slow his movements to tantalize her and make her beg. But she deserved what she wanted after today.

“Max, please...” She said feeling her legs begin to shake.

“I’ve got you, love.” He spoke.

Her head fell back onto the pillow as a flash of white covered her vision. Her legs tightened on his shoulders as she crashed over her high. He continued to suck her and work her through it. His name fell from her lips once more as she felt yourself settling back to normal. He grinned once her breathing attempted to slow, he returned to her side. She supposed that she owed him now, but that’d come later.

“Okay, yeah. I forgive you.” She huffed out once her heart slowed.

He laughed genuinely, falling onto the mattress and pulling her close. He was relieved that she was here with him now and that she hadn’t kicked him off her ship. He knew one thing for sure.

He would never lie to her again.

[el-gilliath]

This story started with a picture posted by @signoraviolettavalery about a secret Max and Isobel might be hiding from Michael. The working title is bad siblings. Should tell you something about there this is going.

It’s also a gift for @christchex @jumbled-nonsense and @beyondkailani who wanted hurt/comfort angst with happy ending. The ending is hopeful leaning towards happy but other than that I think I did pretty good. Enjoy!

And as always, the mightiest thanks to Ariqa for helping me make sure my Norwegian grammar turns english.

Michael knows no one loves him. It’s just a fact of life, how no one wants him or people run away from him. He’s used to it by now, and it’s okay. He never expects them to stay.

But it’s always weird seeing Mrs. Evans again. Because he knows that there was a time when she was at least somewhat fond of him, back when they were younger and he would spend a lot of time at the Evans household. He doesn’t know what changed, never really understood how she one day could go from fond to reminding him strictly that he was to call her Mrs. Evans when before he was allowed to call her Ann. He’ll admit that it’s been wracking his mind for years, but only to himself, never to others. He doesn’t want people to think he cares, because then they would feel bad.

He hates that.

Right now it’s been a long year, a long decade, a long fucking life and he’s tired. Everything with Alex, everything with Maria, everything with Max and Isobel and Liz and Rosa. It’s just… enough.

But this… This is the last drop.

“I could’ve had a home?”

The room is abruptly silenced. All the yelling, all the fighting that’s been going on for the last hour, ever since the truth serum started affecting them, just stops and all of them turn towards Michael. Most of them watching him in surprise. But Max and Isobel… Max and Isobel are looking at him in guilt, so much guilt as if it’s dripping off them.

“Yes,” Isobel answers. She can’t stop herself, dosed by the serum as she is. And suddenly Michael regrets asking if they were keeping any secrets from him in jest, after he showed up to the lab and found them yelling. He really didn’t expect Max to say yes and start talking about his and Isobel’s parents. “Mom and dad were talking when we were around 14 about taking you in. But we were so afraid that if all of us were under the same roof they would find out about what we are. I went inside their heads and made them forget about it the next day.”

Michael closes his eyes. He can’t think about it. Can’t consider it. It will only break his heart. 

“That’s why they suddenly changed, why you were welcome one day and not the next. The only thing they remembered about you was the angry thirteen-year-old you were,” Max adds. He’s visibly trying not to speak, seemingly in pain over it. Michael can’t help but think good. 

“So you made sure I was left on the street. Let me believe no one wanted me.”

“Yes,” Isobel whispers through clenched teeth. And Michael knows he has to get out of there before he starts crying. Or worse, screaming. 

“Good to know.” His voice is rough, hurt. He doesn’t bother hiding it.

“Michael, you have to under-“

“Oh, I understand, don’t worry,” he understands exactly why they did it. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less or makes him any less angry. “Liz, you need me or can I go?”

“You can go,” Liz tells him. “I wouldn’t want to be here either after that.”

He nods at Liz and turns around walking out of the bunker while Isobel yells how sorry she is behind him. At least he knows she means it even if it doesn’t matter since he also knows that they don’t regret it. He can hear Kyle starting to lecture them on his behalf though he doesn’t stay to listen. He doesn’t care to.

He’s numb, numb beyond belief as he gets into his car, as he starts it, as he puts it in drive, as he drives off. He doesn’t know where he’s driving, doesn’t really care. He just knows he needs to get away from the bunker, from Isobel and Max.

Though he’s not terribly surprised when he stops the car and he’s outside Alex’s house. There’s so much shit and pain and confusing emotions between them, but there is one thing that he has never worried about; he will always feel appreciated by Alex. Even when they argue.

He still stays in the car, something inside him preventing him from getting out and actually going to Alex. He tells himself it’s because he wants to let Alex sleep. Never mind that it’s only ten pm, never mind that Alex is rarely in bed before midnight. It would feel too much like using him.

He doesn’t expect the car door to open not long after getting there, Alex jumping in on the passenger side. He’s in grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, sans prosthetic and looking incredibly soft. As always, the sight of Alex relaxed fills him with a warm, sunny feeling. It wills him with joy, even a certain amount of pride. He’s finally seeing pieces of the old Alex again, the emo shit that pushed everyone’s boundaries, who was deathly afraid after the shed incident. He can’t help but like it.

“Not that I mind, Guerin, is there a reason you’re here at ten at night?” Alex asks. There’s a calm look on his face, almost like he’s making himself seem unthreatening. They’ve had enough late night fights that Michael understands why, though he still hates it.

“Sorry, I was just driving around and ended up here. Didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me. We might not always be good at talking without fighting, but you’re always welcome,” Alex replies. He says it so easily, so completely that for a moment Michael forgets to breathe. “You okay though? You look… sad.”

“I’m fine,” Michael says, too quickly from the look Alex gives him. The worst part of their ten-year thing is how well Alex knows him. Sometimes he wishes he didn’t.

“Do you need anything?”

Michael opens his mouth to speak but in that moment his brain fractures and his carefully controlled chaos snaps. He can see it all, the memories flitting before his eyes like scenes of a movie.

The angry teenager he was, finally back in Roswell in his thirteenth year and back with his siblings. The anger of which Ann and Phil Evans saw firsthand many times. Until he broke down crying on their front step after escaping from his current foster home, beaten black and blue. Them taking him in that night, taking care of him, Ann’s kind words and Phil’s gentle touch as they cleaned his wounds.

He tried to be kind after that, tried to repay them for what he’d done. He didn’t always manage, but they knew what he went through. And in turn he was welcome to stay whenever he needed, an offer he often took advantage of.

He remembers thinking that that was why they turned from him, why he was suddenly no longer welcome. He learnt to not accept charity after that, believing that his greed, his using of the Evans’ offer was the reason they no longer wanted him there.

To find out that Isobel and Max are the reason, that he could have stayed with them and had a loving home alongside them… It’s too much after everything else.

“Michael, you’re crying.”

The soft words startle him, prompting him to slowly take a hand off of the steering wheel and touch his face. His fingers are wet when he looks at them. 

“You never call me Michael,” he says instead of commenting on his crying. 

“You’ve never cried in front of me.” And Alex is right, he never has. It’s all lust and fiery passion between them, anger and love and fierce emotions. Never just sadness. 

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re a miserable liar,” Alex says and Michael just looks at him in shock. The small teasing smile makes him burst into laughter, laughing harder than he has in a while. 

The laughter turns quickly to tears, even though he doesn’t want it to, even though he tries to stop them. But he can’t, the sadness and tears take hold now that he’s acknowledged them, running in fat rivulets down his face as he cries silently, his frame shaking. The pain he’s felt since Caulfield, since Max, since Isobel, since the first time he was beaten black and blue because he was a curious kid comes rushing out. He feels the pain like a black band tightening around his heart, tightening further and further as the tears just keep coming. In that moment the pain surpasses everything and he wonders if he can ever feel remotely okay again, a whine unwittingly forcing its way up his throat. 

A hand wraps around his upper arm and tugs him sideways. He resists, at first, not wanting to appear weak. He hates it, he’s not a charity case or someone that can easily be taken care of. That’s not who he is, not who he wants to be. But he gets tugged again, and he’s also tired, so fucking tired. He stops resisting  and falls gratefully into Alex’s open arms. 

He’s touch starved in many ways, even more starved for true comfort. And Alex knows, as always, exactly what he needs as his hand tangles in his curls, lightly stroking, gentle and sure as Alex hugs him tight, his other hand stroking down his back. It’s a move done several times before, though usually under the cover of darkness, in a bed or on a stale mattress, wherever they could find time together the times they saw one another during the last ten years, scared boys and then young men taking comfort and love wherever they could get it, in the face of overwhelming grief.

It’s never been easy, and back then it never felt completely safe. But Alex still makes him feel loved. Even now, after everything.

He just lets himself cry, clings to Alex in a desperate hope that he will forget, that he can forget how much he’s been hurt over the years. How much he himself has hurt others as well. It’s the deepest burden he has, the knowledge of how much hurt he’s dolled out over the years to try and keep himself uninteresting, to try and keep people from wanting to know him. But here he is, clinging to Alex like he never wants him to disappear again, like he never wants him to move from his side. He knows there’s truth to it, but he still doesn’t want to think about it.

He’s too used to being walked away from. Tonight proved that. Especially since he’d never really considered that Max and Isobel had hidden something from him. It explains how easily they’d agreed to keeping the secrets of Rosa and Liz.

He zones out again, just sits against Alex, tears still rolling down his face and his nose hidden in Alex’s neck. It feels calm, like no one can bother him. He knows it won’t last but he still wants to feel it more often. He misses Alex, misses him like he thinks Alex misses his right leg, even if it’s not the same, even if it can’t be compared. Once upon a time Alex wanted him. He’s about the only one that ever has, at least for a longer period of time.

But now he knows that Ann and Phil Evans wanted him, too. Wanted him enough that they were going to offer him a place in their home. And his siblings destroyed it.

“Come on, let’s go inside. Sitting sideways like this is hell on my leg.”

“Shit Alex, I’m s-“

“Stop, that’s not what I meant. Just come inside, please?” Alex doesn’t give him time to answer, just opens the door and gets out, expertly using his crutches to go towards his house. Michael doesn’t feel like he deserves to come in, but he will go if Alex is offering. He still wants to be good. 

He takes a minute to calm down and dry his tears before he follows, walking in to find Alex in the kitchen fixing a cup of tea. An herbal tea with peppermint that Michael vaguely recalls telling Alex he liked once way back when. A tea he likes only because Ann Evans gave it to him several times when she would get up in the mornings and find Michael in the kitchen, after he was unable to sleep. 

“Why do you have that? You don’t drink tea?” He asks. 

“I don’t. But you do,” is the reply he gets. All that has been said and done, and Alex still continues to astound him. “Now go sit down on the couch and take the tea. I’ll be in in a second.”

He does as Alex says, walking into the living room with the cup of tea clenched in his hand. It burns his fingers, it feels good. He sits down sighing at the warm embrace Alex’s couch gives him. It’s a good couch, a deep gray with just enough give to make you feel comfortable yet not swallowed. He sips his tea slowly, cherishing it and the comfort it still brings. He continues sipping it even as Alex joins him, sitting as close as he can get without crowding him. Maybe they never talked, but they still know each other in all the ways that matters. 

“You wanna tell me what happened? You don't have to but you can if you want,” Alex asks as Michael nears the end of his tea. His tone is low, the timbreof it designed not to startle or make him feel insecure. It’s a tone of voice Alex uses when he needs someone to calm down. It’s a tone he’s heard several times throughtout the years. Both in anger, and in love. Michael sighs, drinks the last of the tea and places the cup on the coffee table, his eyes firmly set on the table. 

“Max and Isobel made Mr. and Mrs. Evans forget that they wanted to take me in because they were afraid of what would happen if the three of us were under the same roof.” He doesn’t mean to tell him, doesn’t even want to, really. But he still does. Alex would never use it against him, not the way other people would if they could use him. And Alex will never judge him for being sad. 

“What.”

Michael’s gaze turns to Alex’s face. He knows that tone of voice too, it’s the soldier tone, the tone of someone who’s 29 and on his way to becoming a major through hard work, careful insubordination and a will to fight his own battles. It’s not an Alex he’s met many times, he usually keeps the military side of him far away, knowing how Michael might react when pushed with it. But this is pure soldier, pure commander, pure disbelief and careful hints of anger. Michael might have issues with Airman Alex and what made him become who he is, but he does respect him. His issues are not Alex’s fault anyway, something he tries strongly to remind himself of.

“They, uh. They got exposed to a truth serum in the lab, Liz, Kyle, Iz, and Max. Liz called me in and asked if I could help, and as a joke I asked if Iz and Max were hiding any secrets from me.” Michael breathes deeply, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Alex’s face. “Apparently they were, as they started talking about when we were 14 and they overheard their parents talking about adopting me too. Isobel influenced them into forgetting everything, and I went from being Michael to being ‘that boy’ again.”

“Did they say why?” Alex asks.

“Does it really matter?” Michael bites back.

“Of course it matters, it always matters when you’ve been hurt by it.” Alex replies, the tone still there though it has softened a bit.

Michael sighs. “They were afraid of what would happen if the three of us were under the same roof. They were scared they would figure out what we were. I could've had a home, Alex, a family. Instead I have nothing, just anger and rage and hurt.”

It’s silent, for a minute. Not that Michael minds, it gives him time to think. He opens his eyes when he feels a soft press of lips on his forehead, looking at Alex in surprise when he leans back.

“That’s not true, you have Liz, Kyle, Maria a,nd you have Iz and Max too even if it doesn’t feel like it right now,” Alex says, his hands leaving Michael’s hair and framing his face. “And I know you don’t believe it but. You have me, Michael. You’ve always had me.”

“But I hurt you so bad, Alex. Worse than I’ve hurt anyone else in my life.”

“Yeah, and I hurt you.” Alex sighs. “None of us were innocent in that, but that’s not the point I was trying to make.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“The point is that you have a home, and a family. You know I never really had a family when I grew up either, so I forged my own, just like you did. And I know you can’t really see it right now, but you have everything you wanted and hoped for when you were a kid.” Alex smiles, it’s small and careful but still so very beautiful. “You have a family right here, Michael. Just like I do.”

“I don’t know if I want to forgive them for this, Alex,” he whispers in the silence left from Alex’s words. 

“Then don’t. You’re an amazing person, Michael, you’ve been through more hurt and pain than anyone should ever have to. But you still love because of it, you still try to see the best in everyone. If you don’t want to forgive them yet then you don’t have to.” He knows Alex means them, knows he’s not just saying it. It still feels… wrong, to not forgive. 

“But-“

“No buts. Take your time, you deserve it. Maybe make them grovel a bit, make them buy you shit.”

He opens his mouth to protest when he sees the teasing smile yet again on Alex’s lips. It makes him huff out a laugh. 

“You know I don’t accept charity.”

“Maybe you should,” Alex replies, the teasing smile still on his lips. It makes the darkness in Michael lighten, just a little, the way Alex always manages to.

“I love you.”

It’s not what he means to say, but the shock that turns into quiet delight on Alex’s face says it all.

“I love you too,” Alex replies and Michael can’t help but lean in, waiting to see if Alex moves away. When he doesn’t he places the sweetest kiss on his lips, he can’t help it.

“When all this has settled a bit and I’m not such an emotional wreck, maybe you and I should have that talk we should’ve had ages ago. If you still want to?” he asks.

Alex smiles in return. “I’d love to.”

It’s easy after that to gather Alex close, to kiss his forehead in return, to soak up all the love and return it tenfold. He might be a failure, might be a bad man, might not be anything worth keeping for some.

It’s enough to know that he’s still worth something, to Alex. He can deal with his siblings another day.

[schrijverr]

I Wrote My Own Deliverance

Chapter 8 out of 10

Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: guilt, mentions all te deaths in Alex’s past and blackmail. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Washburn Pamphlet

by A. Ham

This pamphlet is written by Alex Hambleton to deny all rumors surrounding a sexual relationship with Professor George Washburn, Columbia University.

As much as I had vowed to myself not to end up here, I find myself once more having to publicly air my secrets to save myself. This might be news for people surrounding me, for I don’t go about telling everyone about my scandals of lives passed, it seems I have learned after all.

It is quite ironic that I am here once more for the sole reason of doing everything in my power not to be here.

And I could say that I am not.

Maybe I can claim that it is different, because I am denying the rumors and I am not in the wrong this time around. It is not even selfish motifs that caused me to reach for a quill, or, in this case, a keyboard.

But enough dancing around the topic.

I was aware that some people had thoughts and opinions about how I have gotten to where I am, but no one has had to audacity to come up and say them to my face with blackmail as motivation. Lets say I was quite surprised when James Richardson (no I will not be shying away from names) came up to me.

He told me that, unless I got Professor Washburn to pay him 20.000 dollars, the whole school would know how I fucked myself up the ladder by diving into bed with him each Sunday.

Seeing this was the first time I heard I was fucking him (Washburn had not been so kind to inform me, strangely enough), I was quite surprised. Although I have to admit that I cannot deny that I have been visiting the Washburn household each and every Sunday since the summer break, even going as far as to drive over to their summer home in Virginia.

Guilty as charged on that front.

Yes, I am confirming that this is true and I can understand how this feels more like a confession of guilt than the denial it is.

For you have to understand that you think in a too small time frame and in the wrong names. I have already said that I will not shy away from names in this pamphlet, so here I will drop the name of the person I have actually been seeing. I have been seeing George Washington, my General and President under whom I have served for many years back when I was known as Alexander Hamilton.

The time frame is not between the summer break and now, it is over two centuries ago when a great man saw my potential and helped me live up to it.

I am willing to go through the registration process to prove Professor Washington innocence, as well as my own, in the matter. I am also willing to do whatever is necessary to prove that I earned my spot in the accelerated track.

But this is the truth I can offer right now and I hope you will believe me on my word alone.

God knows I am aware that this sounds preposterous and outrageous, for why come out and tell you all now that I am a Founding Father when I could have done so without allegations that needed a story to be disproven?

Well, as everyone knows denying a rumor is the same as confirming it. And the truth is that I do not want to be Alexander Hamilton.

And why would I?

Why would I want to be that man. For all the musical tries to paint me as a hero, or misunderstood, I am so very aware that I did not deserve Elizas forgiveness. I know I threw away my shot the moment I didn’t say no (forgive the reference).

However, it is not just that. I do not want to be the man that did not come to his friends aid in France, I do not want to be the man that cared more about himself than his wife and the abused woman he took advantage off.

Alex Hambleton left Alexander Hamilton behind at birth.

I took this life, my second chance, to be better. I do not wish to walk the same paths and bring down those around me in my misery and mistakes.

Yet here I am.

I took the liberty of finding comfort in the one person who I knew would not share my secret, whom I’d be safe with as I always have been. The home where I could be the entirety of me, a combination of the Founding Father I used to be and the loudmouth student I am now.

And now it is not just me who has to pay the price when people don’t believe me. I tried so hard to write myself out of this story, to not make the same mistakes, but it seems that for all my trying I cannot stop being a death sentence for those around me.

My father still left, my mother held me again while she died, the moment I remembered who I was, was the moment I found my cousin dead. I did not want to believe that this would always be my life until the hurricane hit.

But there it was and it swept my hometown away with the waves and wind. My story is as set in stone and I, for all I claim to be an unstoppable force, cannot seem to move it.

Have you ever smelled death?

Have you ever looked around and seen bodies floating in the water and known that it was your fault?

It was my story that history forces to repeat, my story that caused the deaths of all those people and it is my story that forces a scandal into being and it is my inability to keep me from defending myself that makes me end up here.

Overwhelm them with honesty.

That is what my musical counterpart said and that is the footsteps in which I am walking once again. Though I hope that the small changes I have managed to make, will ensure that the results of my deeds will end up differently.

For those who knew me, I am sorry for the deceit. I hoped by not interacting, I would not pull you down with me once more. I do not wish my misfortune on you again.

But it is not for me that I seek your pity.

I am once more, begging strangers for kindness and understanding of my story. I hope you grant me this mercy and believe me, so that the one person who has always believed in me, no matter how much I did not, can keep his livelihood.

Let his story of success remain unchanged. Let him live his life in peace, knowing he did well and do not exile him in shame for crimes he did not commit.

Believe me not for my sake, but for his.

I could tell you stories of my past life in an attempt to prove myself to you. I could tell you about letters I wrote, words I said, people I loved and lost. I could tell you facts about myself that you can not verify, because I was the only person there to witness them.

But that will not do me any good.

So I write.

I write in the hope that you can find pity and understanding for the bastard, orphan, son of a whore that clung to the only rock, before the eye of hurricane had passed and he was swept up by forces of nature out of his control.

It is the only thing I can do.

I am not religious, yet here I am, praying on two knees to a God that has never listened to me, in the hope I have done enough to change the story I am stuck in.

However, I know my prayers have never been answered with anything but indifference.

Will my prayers be answered this time?

I do not count on it.

So, I will not ask you to pray for me. I will not allow myself to become a victim to lies and slander after I have worked so hard to be better than that person who was. I will not be threatened and blackmailed when I learned from my mistakes and I did not repeat that part.

Instead I ask you to pray for Washington as I am doing.

I ask you to pray for the kind soul that saw my potential and made sure that I could take one step closer to the future I wanted to achieve.

To pray for the man, who gave me shelter over the summer so that I would not be homeless. Pray for the man who gives me dinner one day of the week to ensure I do not starve. Pray for the man who let me read his recommendation letter an unnatural amount of times, so that I could ensure he only helped me based off the things I had achieved not his history with me, because he knew how important it is to me that I make my own spot in the world.

And I pray for his wife, Martha, whom I call Mama M, always have. Mama M, who has been there with open arms and soft words to fill a void that hadn’t been filled in this life or the last, since I was twelve.

I no longer care for your perception of me. You can keep your thoughts to yourself and I can move unaffected by hateful words that have followed me both lifetimes. I am used to it and I do not care about your words.

However, I do care for the two people who cared about me when no one else did. When no one else knew to care.

My shoes have always been worn out from the running I have to do to keep up. I work because I know I am too much of a minority to make it anywhere in the world if I don’t work thrice as hard as my peers.

Immigrant, Latino, bisexual, polyamorous, orphan, bastard.

These words have haunted me until I turned them into badges of honor and the only reason that is, is because I had a home to rest. A place to take of my shoes and get ready to face another day.

That place was the Washingtons home.

So, think of me what you want. Think me a liar who did not earn his place in the world, tell your friends how annoying I am and how you wish I had not made it through my hardships. I do not care for your opinion of me.

But keep them out of it, they do not deserve the slander of my presence for crimes they did not commit and rumors that are not true.

Be the change that prevents the tragedy of a history repeated.

.

Your obedient servant,

.

A. Ham

[ardent-musings]

The Girl Who Vanished (Part 1)

Chapter 6: Ammunition

Fred was confusing. After their talk in the hospital wing, Fred and Ana didn't come to an agreement. Neither of them had apologized for anything they had done. There was shouting, and pouting, and pounding adrenaline racing through them both as they aired out their grievances. And yet, there was no reconciliation. All of this left Ana confused, because she was no longer feeling angry at the boys. Sure, they were a pain to her and endlessly annoying, but perhaps she could have a bit of fun. If they were going to prank her and the Slytherin house, she might as well beat them at their own game.

And it didn't take long for the twins to prank the group. A week or so from their "fight" the twins had bribed a house elf to serve Ana and her friends some tea during dinner. That would have been a nice gesture had it not been for the nose-biting teacups that snapped at them.

"I've seen these before," Lucian jumped to sit next to Ana on the benches. "It's a Zonko product. The twins got me good last year with one of these." He picked up the tea cup which began snapping furiously at him, trying so hard to nip at the boy.

"Well, then it's game on," Ana smirked. She took a glance over at the Gryffindor table where the twins waved at her in mock innocence. They looked so smug and Ana wanted nothing then to wipe those dumb grins off their faces.

"What are you talking about, Ana?" Calista was dabbing a napkin on Alex's cheek; the teacup had bit her hard enough to break the skin. Alex was holding perfectly still, allowing the girl to mend her small wound which Ana found adorable.

While Ana's attention was on the girls, Lucian began taking notice at the way Aeron was watching the group. Every meal, Aeron would sit close enough to the group to overhear everything, but far enough to seem uninvolved. He was shoveling food into his mouth, but would constantly peer over periodically. When the boy looked up from his food and caught Lucian's suspicious expression, he smirked and returned to his meal.

"Look, the twins keep messing with people because no one fights back," Ana explained excitedly, taking a stab at her strawberry and plopping it in her mouth. "Maybe instead of being sitting ducks we could do a bit of pranking ourselves."

All of them stared at her in disbelief.

"Ana, what happened to just ignoring them," Alex reminded her with a chuckle, "Have you eaten anything weird lately?"

Lucian rolled his eyes at his sister's accusation, "There's a reason no one pranks them. They'll go even harder on you. Besides, you're not one to retaliate. What do you- so you want to prank them back?"

Ana studied her friends, both the girls staring at her in confusion. Lucian was analyzing her, anticipating her next out-of-character statement. All their expressions made her a little uncomfortable, but she couldn't ignore just how exhilarated she felt. Her heart was beating hard and she didn't know if this was nerves or excitement, but the idea of beating the twins at their own game felt like something she couldn't pass up.

"Seriously? None of you have thought about pranking them back? Maybe sprinkle a little Alihotsy leaves into their tea?" Ana was buzzing with ideas.

"That's a childish move."

The four of them turned to Aeron, finally deciding to join in on their conversation after eavesdropping the whole meal. He finally put down his fork and shuffled closer to the group, sitting beside Alex and Calista. He folded his boney fingers together and leaned forward, bringing his long thin face mere inches away from Ana's.

"You seriously think you can prank the key tricksters at school with a simple little plant? Just gonna give them a few giggle leaves and be on your way?" He condescended. "If you want to beat them, really prank the pants off of them, Malfoy. You have to up the ante."

"What are you talking about?" Ana asked, shifting nervously in her seat.

"I mean hit them where it hurts, blondie," rebellion glowing in his hawk-like eyes. "You wanna be a punching bag for them all your life? Or do you want to actually do something about it?"

Ana's excitement was starting fizzling away, the way Aeron was talking about a simple prank was a bit much, even for how badly she wanted to do one. She moved further back, trying to put some space between her and the boy. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, this was not what she was expecting.

"Calm down, Scarface," Calista giggled, waiting for a reaction from the rest of them, but they only exchange confused looks. "Really? No one? Godric, do none of you watch movies?" Alex returned her joke with a pitiful smile.

Aeron's eyes scanned over to Calista, glaring at her with a sneer. The boy never talked to her much, oftentimes he would just stare at her harshly and she would ignore him. But quickly, he returned his attention back to Ana, the small smile slipping off his face and settling on a grimace instead. The way he was looking at her made her stomach turn, the acid gurgling at the base of her gut. Aeron was doing too much.

"Aeron, I don't want to do anything extreme. Just something silly, like," Ana picked up the snapping teacup, "-like this. Nothing that could hurt them."

"You mean like setting a couple of snakes to attack them?" He jeered.

Ana's eyes bulged, as did everyone else's. Now her stomach was accompanied with a shiver that ran down her spine. Ana turned her gaze towards Lucian, nervously chewing on her lower lip and shaking her leg.

Lucian was able to pick up on Ana's change in demeanor.

"Wright, were you spying on us?" Lucian accused as he leaned past Ana, trying to put some space between her and the gangly boy. His two years on Aeron gave him a bit of an advantage, being taller and a bit stronger from playing Quidditch. But Ana had never seen Lucian look so angry before. His nostrils were flared and his blue eyes were hooded as he scowled. "Because if you were, I may have to bring out my beater's bat."

The young boy sat further back, but his smirk never ceased, "Is that a threat, Bole?"

"Keep talking and you'll find out."

Lucian stood up abruptly so he was towering over the seated boy. Aeron peered up at Lucian and laughed weakly at the intimidation. When they thought he couldn't make them any more uneasy, he stood up and let out a croaked chuckle. Both of them took a moment to stare each other down, all the girls laser focused on the two boys.

"This was a fun little time. I come over trying to help blondie and I get shut down," he recounted. Aeron glances down at Ana with furrowed brows and a sinister smile. "But go ahead! Do it your way, then."

Before leaving the Great Hall, he reached down and took the sandwich off of Calista's plate and began eating it with a smile, the crumbs falling from his mouth. He was giving them the most pleased smile until Alex reached up and ripped the sandwich out of his hand and threw the scraps back in his face. Without missing a beat, he charged out of the hall, leaving all of them confused and a bit spooked. Alex sat back down and wiped her hands clean of the sandwich goop. Calista smiled back at her softly and Lucian sat back down next to Ana.

Silence enveloped all of them. All of that was unnecessary and way out of line, even for Ana who wanted to get back at the twins. But the way Aeron was encouraging her to go about it made her wish she never said anything. The fact that he listening in on their conversation during dinner and spied on them that day with the snakes made her feel gross.

"So," Alex drawled, trying to bring the group back to the present, "what kind of prank were you thinking of, Malfoy?"

All three of them turned back to her with a smile and Ana couldn't help but start blabbing about things she could do to get back at them. She wasn't going to let Aeron ruin this for her. It was going to be good, clean, mutual pranking. Nothing more.

~

"Professor Snape!" Ana called out to the potions master after their last class of the day. The double potions was a lot to have just finished, so there shouldn't be any real reason for her to talk to him. And she didn't typically talk to the head of the house out of class time, but she knew she had to speak with him to get what she wanted.

Snape looked dreadful today, more so than he usually did. His hair was always as greasy and gnarly looking as ever, but goodness the man desperately needed some sleep she figured. Maybe the change in seasons was getting to him. She often dreaded when the weather turned cold.

He turned to her with his nose pointed high, effectively letting her see right up his nostrils. Snape always had a flair for the dramatics; he whooshed his cape around his body and tucked himself into it, like a bat would before hibernating.

"What could you possibly need, Malfoy?" His nasally voice snarled. "Was my lesson today not adequate enough for you?"

"No professor, lessons were fine," she explained.

"Than what is the purpose of you requiring more of my time?"

Ana took a second. If she told him that she wanted to brew potions beyond what he taught, he would surely know she was up to something. He was a good teacher, and tolerated her to a fair degree, but he was no Professor Sprout.

"I was wondering if you had any potions books you'd recommend, Professor. "I've already finished Magical Drafts and Potions," that was a lie, "so I was hoping maybe you could give me a few suggestions."

The man looked at her with squinted eyes and a scrunched up brow. He always looked angry or confused so this wasn't surprising. But what was surprising was when the sneer that painted his mouth slowly twisted up into what she cold guess was Snape's impression of a smile. Slowly, he began to turn away from her and started floating towards the back of the classroom as if his feet weren't touching the ground. When Ana didn't follow he turned back and motioned for her to join him with a quick wave.

"You have a passion for potion making?" he grumbled.

Ana nodded. "I do, sir. My mother makes quite a few potions back home. It always fascinated me."

"I know all about that, given the fact that I have to brew a particular potion for you every morning," he reminded her. He glided past his desk and began fumbling with the various books he had stacked high on his shelves. The room was dark, it too being situated under the Black Lake. No wonder Snape was so pale, he never saw the sun. "Nevertheless, you do just so happen to be the most competent first year to be taking my class. Your mother used to be very good at potions."

"Oh, my mother is still great at making po-"

"And your mother was very good at potions," he interrupted, pausing a moment, "when she was a student at Hogwarts. I'm not surprised to find you also possess the knowledge and temperament needed for such a meticulous skill."

He grabbed one of the books from his shelf with a pinch and twisted back to Ana who had taken a seat at one of the chairs by his desk. The book was old and practically torn at the spine; whoever read this book, and she assumed Snape read it quite a bit, they really wore it to shreds. Snape shifted towards her, holding the book inches from her.

"This book was written by no other than one of the most accomplished wizards in the potions world: Phineas Bourne," he admired the book as he showed her the front of it. Moste Potente Potions was written on the front of it. "How good is your Latin Ms. Malfoy? Care to translate?"

Ana knew talking to him would be difficult, but she could handle his little challenge. She took a glance at the book, she didn't know Latin but the title didn't pose much of an issue. "I'm going to guess the book is Most Potent Potions, sir?"

"Correct, Ms. Malfoy," he sat at his desk, waving the book in front of him. "This particular book has a copy in the library's restricted section. Its contents are so far darker than anything being taught here. Let alone for a first year."

"It's a book on the Dark Arts?" Ana questioned, staring at the book wondering why he was showing it to her if it wasn't suitable for someone her age.

Snape stood back up turning back to his shelf. He picked up another book; it was in far better condition than the other one, its black and purple embossed cover still glossy.

"That book was on dark potions, Ms. Malfoy," he corrected. "This one is on the Dark Arts."

Secrets of the Darkest Art by Owle Bullock. He held it with such a grip as if holding it to loosely would unravel the words inside. Maybe that's why it was in such good condition, if it was truly filled with vile, dark magic, no one with a right mind would want to go snooping around in it. Unless they were desperate. Snape held both books in front of him, the potions and the dark arts book.

"A day may come when you might need one of these books, Ms. Malfoy," he hissed. "I can only assume with your lineage you will face certain obstacles in your life."

"My lineage?"

He once again sharply turned on his heal to move back beyond his desk, looking at his shelf. She wondered if he would burn a hole in his floor from pacing so much. He should just sit down or maybe stand in one place for a second. All she wanted was a simple book recommendation, not whatever one man play he was performing now. Snape was always a more private and mysterious man, but she was beginning to wonder if he was actually like that or just liked the attention being strange got him.

"Your lineage is one that everyone knows, it is legendary and comes with a heavy amount of both criticism and admiration," his tone was flat. "Surely, you understand that some people may have a feeling about you simply given your family name."

He looked at her with such force, it was almost laughable how intense he was making this meeting turn out to be. But she understood what he meant. The Gryffindors treated her differently as soon as they heard her last name. Even the Great Hall erupted in murmurs when Professor McGonagall announced her. Malfoy was a name full of tradition and superiority, as did the rest of her family: Lestrange and Black. She already entered the school with a reputation. How she was supposed to fully understand that reputation, she wasn't entirely sure.

"I know that my name means something to other people," Ana answered.

"What does it mean to you?"

She never really thought what the name Malfoy meant to her. It was something she was born with. And with it came a family that she was born into. It was all a given, so there was no real reason to think too deeply about it. His question had her stumped.

"I'm not entirely sure Professor." She admitted. He turned back from his shelf to look at her with a glare. Not mean, but direct. He was choosing his words carefully.

"I implore you begin thinking about it, Ms. Malfoy. Because while you take your time trying to figure it out, everyone around you will already have made up their mind."

He turned with a controlled twirl, handing her Charms of Defence and Deterrence by Catullus Spangle. Ana was confused. She asked for a book on potions and yet, he gave her one about charms.

"Professor, are you sure this is the right book? This one is about defensive charms," Ana brought to his attention.

The teacher looked at her with an empty expression, "I am well aware of the contents of the book, Ms. Malfoy. Believe or not, I have read everything in my library."

He sat back down at his desk, his stare never leaving the young girl and she found his drawl to be wasting so much of their time. She figured their double potions could have easily fit into one session had he not talked so slowly.

"I am giving you this book because our current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor is lacking in both know-how and experience," he accused.

He wasn't entirely wrong. The defense teacher was a recent Hogwarts graduate who was given the position by Dumbledore. He wasn't a horrible teacher but Professor Brookes just sat them down for an hour of silent reading until he assigned work and excused them. It wasn't the most practical class.

"When you are done with this book, we can see you to one on potions." And with that, she knew that their conversation was over.

Ana stood up, taking the book and giving the man an appreciative smile. Godric did she want to get out of there. Being under the lake and listening to him murmur on and on was the perfect way to get someone to fall asleep. She made her way out of the cramped office and hurriedly made it back to the common room. Ana turned the book, taking in the bright cobalt cover. Maybe it was a good idea to get a bit more of an understanding of defensive magic, she knew her DADA teacher wasn't going to be of much help. She figured she'd read a bit of the charms book and then head to the library later on to find one that would actually help her prank the twins.

[houser-of-stories]

FFF - Muffins Of Desperation

Here's what I wrote for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt for this week's Flash Fiction Friday, Muffins Of Desperation!

Elisa wasn’t expecting much when she walked into the shop for her shift that morning. Alice would be painting her nails as she waited for opening time, Rebecca would be rummaging through the kitchen to see if there were any leftovers and Elliot would be finishing decorating his final batch of muffins whilst throwing ginger biscuits in her general direction so she wouldn’t attack his icing. Maybe Charlie would be early and giving tables an extra wipe down before customers started arriving.

She did not expect to see a weeping Alice sitting on the floor while Elliot screamed unintelligibly at the window. Rebecca hadn’t taken advantage of the unattended muffins either, which showed how intense the situation was. The computer that Alice used to receive and record orders was showing the latest one, the email a seemingly innocent spectator to the chaos. She wordlessly walked over and read it, and her confused expression morphed into one of dread.

25 mixed muffin boxes to be delivered to the following address by 12pm. Will tip for short notice.

Followed by the address for the recording studio a few blocks away and a signature, the email was short, to the point, and the sender clearly had no idea how long it took to make muffins. Elisa did the math in her head: 25 times by 12 was...300 cupcakes. She checked the time. 10am. That was totally possible...right? “Don’t we have a policy about last minute orders?” Alice looked at her in despair, her mascara smudged around her eyes from crying.

“Probably? We can’t do anything about it now - it’ll take ages to get hold of James. But we can’t bake muffins that fast. I think. Elliot’s screaming, so I guess not. What are we going to do?” Drumming her fingers on the counter top and nervously glancing between the email and the clock, she pulled out her phone and handed Alice a tissue to wipe some of the black smudges off her face.

“Tell Elliot to start making muffin mix like his life depends on it - because it does. My brother’s fancy schmancy restaurant isn’t open today, so we can use his kitchen and make enough.” She instructed, beginning to dial a number. Alice raised an eyebrow.

“And he’s okay with that?” Elisa smiled innocently with a glimmer of incoming insanity in her eyes.

“Not yet. He will be.” The phone began to ring, and she turned away to take the call with a mischievous grin on her face.

“Hey Alex!” She made sure to make her voice as loud and cheerful as possible to annoy him.

Her older brother sounded as if he’d just got out of bed, and was annoyed about the sudden call. “...What do you want?” He asked skeptically, recognising her tone.

“Huge last minute order just came in, can we use your kitchen please?” The last word was tacked on to disguise the fact that he didn’t have a choice, although it blended into her exaggerated way of speaking when she wanted something.

“No.” He said flatly. Her face fell, and she pouted at her reflection in the shop window. Her voice gained a dangerous edge as she continued speaking, a memory from the previous year popping into her mind.

“I’ll tell Mom who broke the fence last summer.” A pause. A nervous laugh.

“You wouldn’t.” She smiled, knowing that her little plan had worked.

“Try me.” Another pause. A sigh. She could imagine him biting his lip before swinging his legs off of his bed and throwing on a jumper.

“Let me get my keys.” She almost felt guilty about blackmailing him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Plus, someone needed to take the blame for the fence, and he already thought it was him. No one else could kick a ball through a fence with enough power that it’d go straight through.

That was a lie. It was her. Everyone knew that. Except him, apparently. And oh, what a blessed thing that was.

The next two hours were a non stop cycle of mixing, baking and decorating that ended in hasty driving and strapping down the boxes so Elisa could drive as fast as the speed limit allowed.

And if the man waiting for her at the studio had red eyes and a smile that was sneaking onto the creepy side of mysterious? If the shadows from the rabble inside weren’t exactly...human?

Well, she was too stressed and exhausted to care.

[daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn]

Home for Christmas (Part 1 of 4)

Summary: Every year Dan goes to a ballet performance of the Nutcracker around Christmas (he even starts to enjoy it after a while), but what he’s really waiting for is the nights he gets to spend with one of the lead dancers after the show.

Rating: M

Word count: 4K

[A/N] This is going to be over 20K words long, so be prepared. Hope you enjoy my Christmas mini-series!

part two -->

Schools looked weird in the evening.

The hallways were dark, lit up only by Ms Collins’ flashlight as she led the group of teenagers to her classroom. On top of it being close to seven pm, it was also December 23, the day before Christmas Eve. Twenty-two teenagers had dragged themselves out of their warm and comfortable house for the night to go watch some ballet performance of the Nutcracker with their drama teacher; something they’d signed up for back in September when it was warm out and they were optimistic and excited for Christmas.

At the back of the line Dan Howell was looking at Snapchats of a party he’d been invited to that night. Eleanor Prince was dragging him along by his arm, occasionally looking over his shoulder at his phone screen. “Hold up, is that Sophie? She said she couldn’t come to the Nutcracker because she’s sick. The bitch.”

“No offense, but if my mum hadn’t literally walked us to the doors I would have done the same thing.”

“Is it too late to say I’m sick now?”

“You’re not leaving me here alone, El. Tough it out.” He didn’t need to look over to her to know she was rolling her eyes at him.

At the end of the hallway the Emergency Exit sign lit up green and dimly illuminated the door below it. They took a left into a classroom just before it, piling onto tables and chatting quietly. The dark and silent school demanded a sort of respect that no one could explain. It felt almost ominous. Ms Collins had apparently not received this memo, as she slammed the door so hard every student in the room flinched. “Before we go to the show, I’d like to discuss the themes and story of the Nutcracker with you guys. Have any of you been to a performance before?”

If teenagers weren’t eager to speak up during actual classes, they sure as hell weren’t on Christmas break. Twenty-two sets of eyes wandered purposelessly around the room, avoiding Ms Collins’ stare at every cost. “Daniel?” She tried.

“Nope.” He responded curtly.

“Do you have any idea what it might be about?”

“No.”

She moved on to the next person with a hint of desperation, “Katie?”

With his hand shielding the screen from being spotted by the teacher Dan showed Eleanor a string of pictures one of their friends had sent him. From their group, the two of them were the only ones who’d been dumb enough to sign up for the trip. Eleanor had even been mildly excited at first, carrying her enthusiasm over to Dan who’d agreed to sign up with her. She was a fervent hip-hop dancer and had thought that watching a performance of a different type of dance would be cool. That was, however, before she’d learnt that Tia Samson was throwing a party for the entirety of their college that exact night. Tia Samson, whose parents owned a record company and who lived in a penthouse in St John’s Wood. Whom Eleanor had been trying desperately to befriend all year.

Unfortunately, Eleanor’s parents had entrusted her to the care of Dan’s mum, who had insisted on driving them and even walking them to the building to ‘make sure they would get inside safe’ because it was dark and she was overprotective.

In the twenty-five minutes it took Ms Collins to get all the answers she wanted from her unwilling students Dan caught up with exactly what had happened at the party so far. It had started around six with a large pizza buffet orchestrated by the Samsons’ ‘help’ -which was another word for ‘butler’, really- and as they were finishing up the pizzas Tia was letting people add songs to the playlist for the night and ice cream was being brought out. Dan and Eleanor had quickly eaten some pasta before leaving for school and really, life was unfair.

By the time the group made their way back to the doors through the dark hallways of Quenten Secondary School Dan was stuffing a Mars bar in his mouth that he’d found in his pocket. A sort of silent protest against Tia’s dumb party and her dumb pizza.

The school hadn’t even gotten them a bus or anything; they had to walk fifteen minutes to the theatre in the freezing cold. Eleanor hopped from one leg to the other as they waited for Ms Collins to lock the gates behind them.

At the front of the group were a couple of kids who seemed genuinely excited to be going to the ballet performance, but most them were just angry with themselves for signing up for the thing in the first place. They trotted along the pavement in the dark, hugging themselves for warmth or shoving their hands as deep into their pockets as they would go.

Dan was grumbling to himself but Eleanor paid him no mind. She pulled her woolly hat over her ears and quietly followed the crowd.

The theatre was beautifully decorated with colourful fairy lights and a huge Christmas tree in the front lobby. Dan distractedly ran his fingers over the wreath on the front desk while they were being briefed on proper behaviour during the show. He was going through the motions without listening- following his classmates to the cloakroom, hanging up his coat, and wandering after them to their seats.

He sensed that now that they were inside and warm Eleanor was starting to get excited again. She upright, slightly leaning over the chair in front of her to get a better view of the stage. Dan himself was slouched in his chair, eyes still trained on his phone. “Okay, this is kind of cool.” Eleanor said after a few minutes, grabbing Dan’s arm and shaking him slightly. “Put your phone away, it’ll start soon.”

He groaned but did as she asked. Truth be told, apart from the fact that it was making him miss Tia Samson’s party, Dan didn’t actually hate being there that much. He would never admit that much though, preferring to keep his image intact.

The lights went down. The bottom left of the curtain moved slightly, catching Dan’s eye and keeping his gaze there as the stage became visible and the dancers appeared. A boy about his own age with dark hair and a beautiful red blazer stood in the place that had caught Dan’s attention. Dan watched him as he danced for a little while before letting his gaze shift to the other dancers. He didn’t actually know the story of the Nutcracker and maybe he should’ve listened to Ms Collins’ explanation, but it was a little late for that now.  

The performance was beautiful, but Dan kept that to himself. Eleanor was clearly enjoying it too, keeping a tight grasp on his arm and shaking him every time one of the dancers did a particularly difficult move. The fact that this was making her so happy was in turn making Dan happy. He grinned and shook his head as she squealed quietly, “Did you see that?”

When the break started and the lights went on Dan was almost disappointed. Almost. He dug his phone out of his pocket and caught up with the party on snapchat.

“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want something?”

“Yeah, a coke please.”

“Sure thing.”

Dan pulled his legs under his chair so Eleanor could shuffle past him, and he quickly glanced at their classmates around him before returning to his screen. They all seemed to have gotten over their initial annoyance with being there, as he and Eleanor had. Ms Collins was engaging a couple of students in a conversation, and for once her subjects did not seem to be completely loathing their existence in that moment.

At Tia’s party the karaoke machine had been broken out and Dan watched a shaky recording of his friend Alex singing Africa by Toto. He was holding a beer bottle and clearly already tipsy. By the time Dan would be home from the ballet performance he might just have enough time to get changed and head over there too. He’d missed the dinner and ice cream, but he wasn’t too late to get drunk and sing karaoke.

Eleanor returned after ten minutes with two bottles of coke and a mischievous grin plastered on her face. Dan couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at her, “What are you smiling at?”

“I got invited to a party by one of the cute dancers.”

“A party? When?”

“Tonight. They’re having an afterparty at their hotel. Want to come?”

Dan hesitated, glancing back at his phone screen where a new snap from Sophie had just come in. A Tia Samson party was epic, but he’d never been to a hotel party before, and this might be the only chance he’d get. Plus, there’d be loads of cute girls. Worth it. “Alright.”

“I’m meeting Phil at the backdoors about an hour after the show, so that gives us enough time to go home and change. I could even do some eyeliner.”

“Phil, huh?” Dan laughed, he pulled a face at her and she stuck out her tongue.

“You’re just jealous because I’m getting laid tonight.”

“I’ll hook up with someone.” Dan huffed.

“Sure.” Eleanor said, theatrically flipping her hair over her shoulder and taking a sip of her coke.

“Shut up, you’re such a bully.”

--

Dan’s mum picked the two of them back up after the show. At the theatre, thank God, so they didn’t have to walk the fifteen minutes back to school in the freezing cold.

“How was it?” She asked as they got in the car.

“So good, Mrs Howell,” Eleanor beamed, “We’ve been invited to go hang out with the dancers for a bit actually. They’re really lovely.”

“Really? That sounds fun. Will there be alcohol?”

“A couple of the dancers are of age so they might be drinking, but we won’t, of course.”

Mrs Howell nodded contently. She had a sweet spot for Eleanor, and the teenagers loved to use that to their advantage. By the time they got home she had even agreed to pay for an Uber.

Eleanor slept over so often that she kept a little collection of makeup and clothes in the bottom drawer of Dan’s wardrobe. She was the only girl Dan’s parents would let sleep in his room with him, and although they probably hoped the two of them would end up together, Dan and Eleanor shuddered at the thought. They had been friends for as long as Dan could remember and kissing her would be like making out with his twin.

She sat at his desk as she applied a new layer of mascara. Dan, long done putting on a clean shirt and running a hand through his hair, was seated on the table beside her makeup, feet propped up on the chair. “What time are you coming over tomorrow?” He asked.

“Before lunch.” She responded. She blinked a few times and held the pocket mirror closer to her eye. “It’s not Christmas Eve if I miss your mum’s pigs in blankets.”

On the day of Christmas Eve Eleanor always came over to eat pigs in blankets and make Christmas ornaments with Dan and his mum. They’d started the tradition back when doing crafts with your mum was still cool, but by the time they’d grown out of crafts in general, they had also grown attached to their tradition. And so the Howells’ tree was filled with homemade ornaments, and the mantle over the fireplace featured a line-up of clay figurines.

--

Just after eleven the Uber dropped them off at the hotel. One of the dancers, Mia Bright picked them up in the lobby and took them upstairs to the hallway all their rooms were on. The main party was taking place in the room of the boy who danced the part of the Nutcracker and one of the background dancers. At first glance it looked pretty chilled; teens lounging around with drinks and some music playing in the background, but on top of the mini fridge were three bottles of liquor. The night was young and the cards were open.

Eleanor sat down on the floor with some boys and was immediately handed a drink. Just as Dan was looking around the room to see where the most girls were gathered, he was invited to join the people on the bed. Half boys, half girls. Could be worse. He picked up a beer and leaned back against the headboard.

He chatted to them for a while, complimenting them on their performance and asking about their tour. One of the girls did some dance moves for him, putting on a show and obviously flirting. She was pretty, with long blonde hair and a lowcut top, and Dan didn’t mind in the slightest.

The emptier the bottles of liquor got, the looser the group. Some other people squeezed themselves between the teens on the bed and they started playing a half-hearted game of Truth or Dare. Dan was tipsy, grinning widely as two girls kissed each other on a dare. The boys cheered, apart from one who shushed them and told the boy next to Dan, “I dare you to kiss him.” He pointed at Dan, who shrugged.

“Fine,” The boy turned to him, “But I’m a gentleman. I don’t kiss people whose names I don’t know.”

“I’m Dan.”

“Hi, Dan. My name is Phil.”

For a second Dan thought about the fact that this boy in front of him was probably the one Eleanor had her eye on. Then his thoughts were interrupted by his lips.

Phil put his hand on the back of Dan’s neck and pulled him in. He kept him close for a good few seconds, and when they finally pulled apart they grinned at each other. Kissing boys was very different from kissing girls, but not in a bad way. Over Phil’s shoulder Dan saw Eleanor watching them. He mouthed a ‘sorry’ at her, but as a response she pointed to the boy next to her and shrugged. She’d moved on.

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through his veins, but for the next fifteen minutes Dan was awfully aware of the fact that his leg was touching Phil’s. He kept glancing over to him, and his dumb intoxicated brain was noticing things he usually only noticed in girls. Like the wrinkles by his eyes when he laughed, and the way he bit the inside of his cheek absentmindedly.

“We’re out of booze.” A bottle was chucked at the bed and some of the teenagers ducked to dodge it.

“There’s more in mine and Cal’s room. Dan and I will go get it.” Phil didn’t give Dan the chance to speak for himself, simply getting off the bed and expecting him to follow. He did.

“You good?” Phil pulled a keycard out of his pocket and led them into a room.

“Yeah, man.”

The room was messy, clothes strewn about the place and an open suitcase lying on one of the beds.

“You into guys?”

It was a sudden question to which the answer should’ve been a decisive ‘no’, but Dan found himself shrugging, not able to get the negation over his lips after he’d just had those thoughts about this boy’s features.

“I am.” Phil took some bottles out from under a bed and put them on top of the duvet. “You, included.”

Dan was flustered but didn’t let it show, “I tend to have that kind of effect on people.”

“You’re not sure if you like guys, are you?”

Another shrug.

“Want to find out?”

“Suppose that wouldn’t hurt.”

Before he knew it he was backed against the bathroom door with hands on his waist and Phil’s forehead pressed against his own. “I feel like you might be.” Phil said softly, pushing his hips forward.

Dan’s breath caught in his throat. “Convince me.”

Phil kissed him. Messily and aggressively, with Dan struggling to keep up.

Fingers teased at the hem of his jumper and caught bits of exposed skin here and there. Goosebumps rose up on his abdomen as a familiar warmth tugged at the bottom of his stomach. He finally regathered his own agency, lifting his hands and experimentally putting them on Phil’s shoulders first. He wasn’t sure where you were supposed to touch a boy when kissing them. Girls were easy: you just touched their boobs. He racked his brain in an attempt to remember where girls usually touched him, and eventually just settled for running his hands down from Phil’s shoulders to his chest, and then down to his belly. He was toned, a dancer’s body, muscles hard under Dan’s fingertips.

Phil easily took control over him. He’d never expected that he would be so eager to give it up, especially to another boy.

There was a knock on the door that scared them both out of their excited daze. Phil backed away, straightening his shirt before checking the peephole, “Friends.” He said.

Dan picked up the bottles as the other opened the door. A few of the dancers tumbled into the room, grumbling about the lack of alcohol in the party room. “Seriously, what’s taking you guys so long?”

But the girl at the back of the group grinned and winked knowingly at Dan when he handed her the liquor. His cheeks turned pink, quickly turning away. “You’re not coming with us?” A boy asked.

“No thanks.” Phil said, a mischievous smile decorating his pretty features. He closed the door behind his friends and turned back to Dan, “So, where were we?”

The interruption had given Dan time to think. A moment for his brain to catch up with what his body had been doing. “Eh, maybe we should get back to the party?”

“Really?” Phil didn’t seem disappointed as much as genuinely surprised.

Dan tugged at the hem of his jumper, “They’ll think we hooked up.”

“Do you mind that?”

He shrugged.

“We can go back if you want. I’ll deny anything happened between us.”

It was the Out Dan thought he wanted, but now that it was on the table it didn’t feel right. He glanced at the door. He could leave if he wanted; Phil wasn’t keeping him here. But passing up the opportunity to mess around with this hot person who was literally offering himself to him, even though that hot person was a guy, felt like a wholly irresponsible decision. And so he made a dismissive gesture with his hand and said, “Well, they already think we hooked up. Might as well actually do it.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“Have you seen yourself? Rejecting you would be a crime.”

Phil grinned, “You’re not so bad yourself.” He stepped closer and reached up, fingers brushing the side of Dan’s neck. That alone was enough to make Dan feel like the whole interruption had never happened. He was as wound up and desperate as he’d been just a few minutes before, and he grabbed Phil’s hips and pulled him close as he started kissing him.

This time it didn’t take long for them to stumble towards the bed. Dan fell onto his back, Phil leaning over him on his elbows. They were both more confident now, and Dan slipped his hands under Phil’s shirt without hesitating. Guys’ bodies were so different from girls’ bodies and his fingers explored the new landscape. Phil dropped his hips, his lower body now fully leaning on Dan’s, and the latter could feel his cock twitch against his own through their jeans. A shiver went up his spine as he pulled him closer.

Phil rolled off him, and Dan was about to protest when the other’s hands moved to his jeans and made quick work of his belt. They were both impatient, pulling at each other’s clothes until they decided to just do it themselves. Dan kicked off his jeans and pulled his shirt over his head. When he looked back to Phil the latter had just pulled a bottle of lube out of one of the suitcases on the floor. “Move to that bed,” he instructed, “making out on Ryan’s bed is something, but taking off trousers is a whole other thing.”

They kissed for a few seconds but then Phil was tired of waiting and wrapped his fingers around Dan’s cock. Dan shivered and followed his lead after a moment. He may not know where to put his hands on a boy’s torso, but he definitely knew what to do with his hands near a penis. He moved slowly, slower than he would for himself, and softly brushed his thumb over the tip. Phil made a sound that echoed through Dan’s body and made his abdomen tighten.

Their foreheads touched, breaths mixing together in the air between them as they touched each other. Both were too out of breath to kiss, but that didn’t stop them from trying a few times, exchanging sloppy kisses and moaning into them.

When Dan’s hand started stuttering, Phil pushed him onto his back and kissed his way down the boy’s torso as he sped up his hand.

Dan’s head fell back as he came onto his own stomach, panting and grabbing at the sheets. Phil worked him through it until the boy under him relaxed. He took a second to collect himself, then turned his attention back to Phil.

He made quick work of him, leaning over him and moving fast. Phil’s hands traced the muscles on his back, and when he got close his nails dug into Dan’s skin. Dan didn’t mind, biting his lip and resting his forehead in the nook of Phil’s shoulder. He didn’t raise his head until Phil came, and he watched the pleasure wash over him, his jaw slacking and eyes closing.

Dan rolled off him and for a few minutes they quietly lied on their backs next to each other.

“That was good.” Dan broke the silence.

“Yeah?” Phil laughed. He reached out and brushed the back of Dan’s hand with his fingertips.

“Yeah. Maybe I’m kind of into guys.”

“I’m irresistible.” Phil said.

They pushed themselves up off the bed and headed into the bathroom to clean themselves up. They moved slowly, lazily splashing water on themselves and brushing arms whenever they moved by each other.

--

When they walked back into the main party room all eyes were on them, knowing looks being cast their way. Eleanor, now sat on the bed with some girls, grinned at Dan, who returned her grin but averted his gaze quickly.

“D’you have a good night, Lester?” One of the boys shouted. Some others cheered and Dan felt his cheeks go red.

“Yeah man, when’s the last time you had a night as fun as mine?”

That shut him right up. There was laughter around the room as everything settled down. Dan sat with Eleanor, somehow comforted by her familiarity. He felt a bit uneasy with the notion that everyone in the room knew that he’d just messed around with another guy, even though no one really seemed to care that much. Not even Eleanor, surprisingly.

When he was handed some sort of vodka-and-coke-combination he loosened up, downing it quickly and getting another glass right after. Who even cared about whom he had sex with?

He fell asleep on the bathroom floor at four thirty in the morning.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Eureka AU- Part 8

My weekend mini-nano is coming to an end, what a ride. 16k words on a make-it-up-as-i-go fic. Fun as hell, wish I could do this every day.   But for now, outta writing time.   Fear not, I’ll finish this week but I’ll sure as shit leave it for now as a cliffhanger.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

xxxxxxxxxx

Roy sat by Riza's side after Knox relocated her to Al's lab under much protest, however the medical equipment was easier to move than Al's.   Roy went over all the theories and data about a dozen times and eventually gave the green light on Project Hawk's Eye.   He told Knox he would be the one to inject the syringe full of nanites into her IV, that was not going to be on the doctor if this all went wrong.

If he lost her, he didn't really care about the repercussions of everything coming down on him.   He'd stave it off as long as he could in order to go after Raven and root out his accomplices in this theft of relics and trail of murder, but he had no misconceptions about it all catching up to him.   He'd step down from the head of the facility first, have someone appointed to take his place that had it's best interests in mind, and spend his money and limited freedom on hunting everyone down.   He prayed it don't come to that.

“We're ready.”  Al said.   “I injected a few into myself to test it and they are operating as they should.”

“What the fuck Al?”  Ed gasped.  

“Like you weren't going to do the same thing.”  Al mumbled.

“I'm not the genius who can control the little bastards!”

“Which is exactly why I had to do it.”  Al replied. “They're my creation, I can't ask someone to test out what I create if I am not willing to do so myself. Especially not Hawkeye.”

Ed walked over with the syringe and handed it to Mustang.   He almost didn't want to let go of it, scared it would be the cause of her demise.   Scared because if it didn't kill her, the lack of another option would.

“It's OK Ed.”  Roy said and took the syringe over to the IV line and paused as he took the cap off the needle.   He looked over at Riza and bit his lip.   Not the kind of shot she expected to be in danger of dying from, he was certain of that.   So he stopped costing more time and injected it slowly so there was no chance of clumping the microscopic robots anywhere.   Then, syringe empty, he retracted it and put the cap back on and set it down to wait;  Wait and watch her vitals for a spike to tell him this was the wrong answer.

“Ok, I have data.”

Roy looked over to Al.  “And?”

“I've sent them on a mission to disperse and target anything with their similar profile.  I already have data coming back.”   Al said and put it up on the screen for everyone to see.   “Well the good news is it's biological and not nanotech.”

Roy took a deep breath.  The Elrics were great at mentioning things after the fact.

“Money can't buy you, Al.”  Ed said appreciatively.  “You're the only one this good.”

Marcoh waved his hand at the screen. “Can you send this information to my tablet?”

“Already on it's way.”  Al said.   “I have them targeting and following the virus.   That way we don't waste time when you give me the modifications.”

Roy sat down beside Riza and held her hand again.   No change was good news at this stage and he could feel Knox hovering and waiting for something to happen.   Marcoh was scribbling loudly on some paper, preferring to work out things the 'old school' way instead of taking advantage of all the technological advances around him.   Roy wanted to help, wanted to be able to use his knowledge and education for something but he couldn't help here. All he could do was physically be here and comfort his wife in a way he hoped she could feel, perhaps there was something to that joke of theirs about using him for his body after all.

He turned his attention to thinking about how much Riza had changed his life.   They got off on the wrong foot and they continued to meet in the middle on everything, mainly because she wouldn't get out of his way.   She blocked him every time and forced him to compromise.   The resolution always produced good results and finally he came to her with a peace offering of dinner.   The town needed her, she was someone he had grown to respect and in a few months of fighting with her he had to admit he looked forward to her barging into his office telling him off.

He never expected her to say 'yes'.   It was just his charismatic womanizing facade coming out and trying to charm her, but she had said 'yes' in the most hostile and satisfied way possible that made him question if he had in fact been played.   He owed her dinner for all the times she had to spend time off duty cleaning up his scientist's mistakes.     It better be expensive too.  He countered the best he could, saying and expensive dinner require proper attire and a dress uniform wasn't going to cut it.   And her smile, god she smiled like she was the Queen of Hearts and he was about to get decapitated.  At that moment he sat back in his chair and realized that it might not be so horrible to lose this chess match of theirs after all.  

When she did show up for that promised dinner at his house, insisting on picking him up because he was a terrible driver who never paid his reckless driving tickets, he opened the door to the most amazing sight he had ever laid eyes on.   Riza Hawkeye stood on his doorstep like an angel, setting sun behind her with a glow of the glory of God radiating in the background.   A long gown that looked like it was made for her and probably was.   She had made friends in Eureka, certainly someone like Alex Armstrong had told her he would make her the perfect dress to stop Roy's fucking heart as soon as he laid eyes on it.

And that it did.   However it was less the dress and more the woman wearing it.   Something about how she owned that presence and could be wrapped in satin and lace and not lose herself in any of it.   There was more to her than he gave her credit for, more than the hard ass Lieutenant who became their disciplinarian Sheriff.   More than the soldier who was quick to order everyone around when the situation went to hell.  More that he desperately wanted to find out about.   It was more than she bargained for because she was not expecting him to be the one cooking her dinner at his house.

Checkmate.

It didn't phase her, she entered his house as if it was a royal palace and not a suburban home.   He had his best tux on, carefully planned and cooked four courses and dessert and served them all by candlelight in his dining room.  There was no hostility as they both silently agreed to a truce for the night.   They talked about work, since that was always the adventure of the week, and accidents they could now laugh about.  

And she had the most incredible laugh.  

Night turned into morning as they relaxed on the couch and dared to show each other their personal side.    Her caring for the men of her command, how much she missed being in the field because of this special assignment and how much she was actually enjoying being the Sheriff of this small town.  The people were special, she liked having someone to protect.   He admitted he wanted to do anything to keep this town safe, to keep the people free to work and funded to do so.   Something he never openly admitted to anyone.   She eventually said it was getting too late and it was time to leave, he asked her to stay.   To his surprise, she accepted his offer.

He wondered why she accepted any offers of his,  especially the first one to take the job as Sheriff of Eureka.

Now he couldn't help but wonder if she was deliberately sent here by her commander to get her away from her men.   Exiled because she had seen too much and had too much integrity to just forget it happened.    There was no reason that a qualified officer like herself would be sent here to the middle of nowhere to babysit scientist unless she was someone who could be counted on to be in his pocket.   She'd never be that, not for Raven.  Exiled until he had a chance to figure out how to erase the evidence of his actions.

But Roy had been the one to pick her from a field of candidates.   That was what bothered him, Raven had to know what he was looking for in a choice for Sheriff.  He had to rig the choices so there was only one option.  Roy wanted to drive down to the Hotel right now and beat the truth out of him, beat the life out of him.   Ensure he didn't get away with this.  

“I have it.” Marcoh announced. He walked over to Al's computer and said, “Bring up the diagram. I'll show you want to rearrange.   Then you can program them to eat the other virus.”

“They're robots.” Al replied.  “They don't eat.”

“They just ate several billion dollars worth of military super soldier contact lens.” Ed reminded him.  “Just let them tear it apart.”

“And lose their form?  They're currently bonded as a virus.   You want me to release them and let them float in the bloodstream?   They're too tiny.” Al replied.

“Strangle the virus then.”  Ed said.  

“Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” Roy said, quoting Sun Tzu.   Everyone went silent, he must have sounded authoritative even if he felt lost.   “Make your nanites more attractive to the virus than the cells it's attacking.  Make it look like the original Xerses virus instead of the watered down immunity in her system.     Let them latch on to the nanites so we can tell the robots to leave her body and take the virus with them.   Riza can't be the battlefield, she's put up enough of a fight on her own.  Let's draw the enemy out.”

[nerdrehab]

I would like to share a scene I just wrote and haven’t finished. Its from my new Mass Effect WIP. Enjoy.

Scene

Distraught from Shepard’s admittance that he no longer has feelings for Miranda, she isolates herself. Although still on the run from Cerberus, they must continue to lay low. In an attempt to brighten Miranda’s spirits, Theta takes her out to a night at the Citadel, in order to relax and forget about Shepard.

Just hang out, they said.

It’ll be fun, they said.

Theta nervously tugs at the collar of their dress shirt. They had worn the five piece suit once before, but it was ages ago and now it felt tighter than they remembered. To make the night a little more relaxing for Miranda, Theta got a room on the Citadel for the woman to have her privacy and her thoughts, it was only enough for one night, but they figured she needed it after everything. With Miranda off the ship temporarily, Theta took advantage of the time to panic as well as change into fresh clothes that they hoped would give the illusion that they both were just relaxing. At fancier places that Theta ever thought possible, but they figured going all out would be a good distraction.

Theta’s hands move to their tie, tugging at it awkwardly as they glance around, still somewhat nervous about the idea that perhaps they overdressed. Perhaps the black fitted blazer was too much, the dark gray waistcoat buttoned up neatly beneath the blazer. It was the tie, the tie. They tug harder on the dark green tie, thinking better of it and trying desperately to take it off in their momentary panic.

The color of deep rich red catches their eyes, angling their head up to see the figure approaching them. Miranda, dressed in a rich red dress, the length barely catching the floor as she walks. Every part of the dress upwards hugging the gentle dip of her hips, even up her neck to perfectly hold her jaw. The center of the dress a delicate crisscross over her abdomen, open at just the right places, holding her breasts but allowing just the slightest gleam of their underneath. There’s barely a shoulder to the dress, just enough leaving her forearm bare while her hands and the rest of her arm remains concealed underneath long silken gloves.

“I was worried I had overdressed.” Theta barely registers Miranda’s words, their eyes frozen in shock. Gloved fingers grace their chin, slowly closing their agape mouth. “Careful, you’ll drool.”

“I…” Theta scrambles for words, thrown off by her playfulness. Trying desperately to blink back into focus. “You look amazing, Miranda.”

“Thank you.” Miranda smiles, stepping back a moment to get a look at Theta, a hand resting on their arm. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” They gulp loudly at that, their fingers still looped into their partially undone tie. She steps back towards them, removing her hand from their arm, going to the tie around their neck. Theta releases their grip on the tie, letting Miranda straighten up the knot once more, even with the woman’s eyes on the task, they could still feel her lingering gaze. “And thank you for this.”

Theta nervously rubs the back of their neck, glancing away from Miranda to try and compose themselves again. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s the least I can do, for making you put up with me the past few months.” They say lightheartedly.

Miranda laughs softly, resting her hands against their waistcoat, the tie comfortably in place once more. Her head angles back up, locking a steady gaze with Theta, making them lower their hand from their neck. “It’s not always terrible. I think you’re starting to grow on me.”

“Oh good.” Theta takes a step back, still offering a shy smile in return. “Because I’d have gotten sick of me at this rate.” They hesitate again, reaching behind them to rub the back of their neck but stopping themselves and quickly shaking off the nerves. “So, I have dinner lined up for us. Sushi place, I think you’ll like. Shall we?” They offer their arm, a leather glove slipped over their mechanical hand as they offer.

“We shall.” Miranda replies, slipping her arm into Theta’s, letting them tuck her arm in as they both walk to the restaurant.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After dinner, they both lingered at the strip for some time before finally retiring to the Presidium, aiming to bring Miranda back to her temporary room, but neither are ready for the night to end quite yet. They find their ways closer to the Presidium pools, walking along a smooth path that winds itself around the gardens, following along the water line. At this time of day on the Citadel, the place is empty, most people having already retired for the night or still living it up back at the strip. It gives them both a minute alone.

“I never imagined I’d ever find myself here.” Miranda muses, holding her arms against herself. Even with the gloves, her forearms were bare, and there was little doubt the dress could effectively keep her warm. On instinct, Theta removes their jacket, carefully draping it over Miranda’s shoulders, her eyes suddenly widening at the motion, glancing at Theta as they quickly shove their hands into their pockets.

“Why’s that?” Theta quickly stammers, covering up the moment by keeping the conversation going.

Miranda offers a small smile, turning her head away as her hands grasp the jacket tighter around her. “I’ve always been severe. Focused on tasks than ever trying to take… a break. Cerberus was my life for so long until.” She closes her eyes. “Until John made me realize what was really going on, but I didn’t know what to do really once I left. I just stayed focus on protecting Ori.” Her eyes cast down, her feet halting her walk as she stares at the pavement beneath them. Theta stops a step after Miranda, turning slowly to look at her as she speaks. “I told John once the only thing I can ever take credit for are my mistakes. At least I know I was never wrong about that.”

A nervous tick, one that Theta had already recognized over the past few days. With everything regarding Shepard propping up again, not to mention Oriana, it became a very frequent tick. Miranda reaches her hand up to her chest as it always does, but Theta quickly stops her, softly grasping her hand and pulling it to her side.

“Stop it.” The serious hitch in Theta’s tone draws Miranda’s surprise. “Do you think you made a mistake by having feelings for him? I don’t think it was.” The words make Miranda’s head lower more. Gloved fingers lift Miranda’s chin, Theta’s concern visible in their eyes as they gaze into hers. “The mistake is the fact that he gave it up not the fact that you fell for him. How is it a mistake to have human nature? What else have you done in your life thus far? How many of those were mistakes?”

The words stagger Miranda, her mouth slightly agape and stunned. Theta lets their fingers lower from her chin, keeping her gaze. “I’ll tell you. You saved your sister, three times. You brought Shepard back to life, despite the fact that he’s an enormous dick with red scars.” A small smile plays on Miranda’s lips, encouraging Theta to continue. “You’ve successfully eluded at least two fully trained assassins from Cerberus. People dead set on killing you, but they still haven’t got you. You took down your father’s project at Sanctuary. I’m pretty sure you saved the Council at one point too from a bioweapon. None of those were mistakes, you did those things.”

The shock remains on Miranda’s face as she tries to recover, resting a hand on Theta’s forearm, their hand reaching up to cup her elbow. “That’s not fair.” She murmurs under her breath. “You know everything about me.” She smiles. “How am I supposed to compliment you?”

“That was my plan all along.” Theta admits playfully, using their free hand to adjust their jacket around her, keeping it in place to keep her warm. “This night is about you, not me, and I aim to keep it that way.” They step back, letting Miranda’s hand slide down the length of their arm before turning, tucking her arm against their side.

“Fine.” Miranda relents happily, keeping herself close to their side. “Then I want to know something about you, tonight. Just one thing.”

Theta sighs, but keeps walking, nodding. “Shoot.”

“Where did you grow up? What made you join the Alliance in the beginning?” The question makes Theta grin, at least happy with the simplicity of it.

“I was a colony kid, grew up on a small colony in the Attican Traverse, nothing much to say about that. Single mom, she fought hard to try and raise me on her own, but it was difficult a lot of the time. I wasn’t the most hospitable of kids. It didn’t get much better for her when I met Alex.” Theta’s voice lowers at the admittance. “I grew up knowing what the Alliance did, they protected us. There were so many other colonies in the traverse that weren’t as lucky as us, colonists got killed, but we survived. I grew up wanting to be the helpful force that those other colonies needed. I wanted to help. So, that’s what I did, I joined the Alliance as soon as I was able. Sent any extra money to my mother in return while I served.”

Miranda hesitates, her hand squeezing Theta’s arm. “Your mother? Is she?”

“No. It was a few years into my service that I got wind of her death. Nothing traumatic, she just got sick. You can only live for so long after struggling for so much of it, eventually it takes a toll on your body and your mind. When I heard I was kind of, glad to hear she was finally resting.” Theta shrugs, perking up more with the change of topic. “Anything else?”

“How did… you lose your hand?”

“How long have you been waiting to ask that?” Theta chuckles, making Miranda hesitate. “Its fine.” They quickly add. “My last Alliance mission, I was with Alex. She rushed into the fray and I went in after her, when I was trying to call for back up, a batarian caught me off guard. Took my hand as I tried to avoid him.” They explain, patting Miranda’s hand to reassure her. “I told Alex to get out of there, leave me behind. I took out the batarians around me with my gun, I popped the heatsink and…” They grimace, still smiling as they hold up their other hand, the skin on the palm of her hand still scarred and mauled by the event. “I grabbed it to cauterize my arm.”

“You didn’t.” Miranda says, a bit stunned by the admittance. “That’s what you… meant, by not intentional.”

“I did.” Theta chuckles, rubbing the back of their neck with the mauled hand. “Not my smartest move, but it worked.” The thought makes Miranda chuckle as well, squeezing Theta’s arm.

[sheikah]

I’m sick of the Papadakis & Cizeron camp shitting on their fellow athletes so I’m going to rant about it 

So a friend showed me today that Papadakis retweeted this article. 

Seems innocuous enough, right? Who wouldn’t want to retweet something so flattering, something complimenting your skill and your art. It’s an honor. 

Except that the article is a grossly biased opinion piece, and its author’s comments about P and C’s competitors are frankly disgusting. I think it says a lot about Papadakis as a person that she would retweet this article, spreading its claims to her followers and showing implicit support of its ugly criticism of both the Shib sibs and Tessa and Scott. In case you think I’m exaggerating, let’s look at some of the more glaringly offensive passages, shall we?

“[T]he art of self-expression can be questionable, too. I still can’t wrap my head around the decision by Maia and Alex Shibutani, who won the bronze medal, to skate to Coldplay’s sensual ‘Paradise.’ 

This American brother and sister, revered for their precision and joie de vivre, are elite athletes. But when they pressed together in head-to-toe camel spins — each holding onto the other’s extended free leg and waist to the lyric “Para-para-paradise” — it gave me pause. I couldn’t have skated to that with one of my brothers. (And I know that reading this, they are relieved.)”

Um, what? What? I don’t even know where to start with this. This is billed as an article about how great P and C are, but right out of the gate it starts tearing down the teams they shared the Olympic podium with. And why attack the Shibs like this? 

Full disclosure: The first time I heard about a brother/sister ice dance team, I was well and truly squicked out. I had only ever really watched Davis/White and Tessa and Scott and with the memory of their routines fresh in my mind, it made my skin crawl to think of doing some of them with my brother. But then I actually watched the Shibs, and I saw that there is a very evident difference in tone when one watches their skating alongside someone like Tessa and Scott. Passion and sexual tension are replaced with beaming, innocent smiles. They’re just a brother and sister having fun. Dancing doesn’t have to be sexual. I’m from South Louisiana, and in the past have done my fair share of Cajun and Zydeco dancing with every member of my family. Watching the Shib sibs reminded me of those times. It’s wholesome. And their song choices are usually careful to be sensitive about this. Their Olympic free dance was no exception. “Paradise” is not a “sensual” song. It’s about a determined girl chasing her dreams. The commentators on my stream during the Shibs’ dance talked about how special the song is to Maia. You can read the full lyrics here. There is no mention of a man. There is a no mention of a relationship at all. It’s about a little girl growing up and finding out how hard it is to succeed, to find the “paradise” you dream of when you’re young. I found it incredibly moving to watch Maia and Alex skate to a song about the difficulty and eventual payoff of chasing your childhood dreams as they made their own dreams come true by medaling in the Olympics. 

So what I can’t understand is why the author of this article had to denigrate and sexualize their performance. The only creepy, sensual, incest-y things happening are the ones in the author’s mind. So I imagine that actually, her siblings would be perturbed, not relieved, reading this article. 

But the hate doesn’t stop there. She goes on to attack Tessa and Scott next, reducing their Olympic skates to being “sentimental,” implying that they are only the favorites for sentimentality and for their long tenure rather than their passion or skill. 

Most egregious of all was her description of their iconic Moulin Rouge free dance. She said they skated across the ice with “gaping mouths” and that their performance was a “red light.” In skating terminology that is, as far as I know, synonymous with a failure. To skate “lights out” is to get “green lights”--full technical approval from the judging panel--on all required elements. A red light means something was executed incorrectly or was in some other way not adequate in its required category.

In what world was their beautiful performance a failure? 

Maybe their mouths were open because, oh, I don’t know, they were breathing hard as they worked their way through their extraordinarily athletic and technically complex routine--one that garnered worldwide recognition and acclaim because it fucking rocked.

Or maybe the author is referring to Scott’s mouth being open as he literally sung the words of “Come What May” to Tessa while they skated. That’s the kind of on-ice chemistry and passion Tessa and Scott have. They get totally and overwhelmingly caught up in the music, the moment, each other. It’s why the world loves them. It’s part of why they won gold. But instead of recognizing that and focusing on strong points of P and C’s own free dance, the author has to try and tear Tessa and Scott down. 

So if the author is this hard on Tessa and Scott, surely she can recognize the faults in even P and C’s performances, right? Wrong. 

She had this to say about their short dance: 

“This wardrobe glitch cost the pair points and put them behind the Canadians going into the free dance. Skating, especially on the Olympic level, is a sport with a mystifying judging system. But as a dance critic, I judge skating by different rules, and to me, no team, gold medal or not, matches the artistry of Ms. Papadakis and Mr. Cizeron.”

I had a lot of pity for Papadakis and what she suffered with her “wardrobe malfunction” in the individual short program, but it was not easy to retain that feeling watching her attitude for the rest of the games. It was she and Cizeron’s first Olympics and they got a silver medal, but instead of gratitude I constantly saw what looked like anger and resentment on her face. Still, I told myself that she was just upset because of the embarrassment of having her dress come open in the short dance. Totally understandable.  As time goes on, though, I’m finding it harder to sympathize with her. I think that the dress fiasco actually worked to her advantage. Why do I say that? Well, let’s look at two moments that I noticed in their short program. Disclaimer: I’m a new fan and no expert in ice dance but I know enough to know that the following are mistakes. 

Here’s their lift:

She nearly topples over backwards. To prevent this, she flaps her arms in a desperate attempt to retain her balance, fumbling before her arms finally settle in the position she was meant to take when she gets into the lift. 

Again, I am sad that this happened and believe her dress could have factored into this. She clearly was preoccupied worrying it would slip off in front of the whole crowd when Cizeron lifted her. But that doesn’t change the fact that she made this obvious, wobbly mistake in the lift. 

Then there are their twizzles.

I’m not sure how well you guys can tell, but these are not in sync. I broke it into two gifs so that you can see that in the first one, Cizeron drops his skate first. They didn’t start or end these at the same time, and they were much too close, moving even closer as they got into the last set in the second gif. This should not have been given a level 4 and a green light. But it was, along with the lift above.

Why I am bothering with this? Because it’s insane that they still received the score they did. I am not a professional or a judge and I noticed these two mistakes. There are probably more. Despite that, they received an overall score of 81.93 for this performance. To compare, at the world championships with the same routine they scored 76.89 with no wardrobe malfunction. The judges essentially took the wardrobe malfunction into account and were overly merciful with the scoring, instead of docking them for what happened. In spite of that, P and C seem to believe--and their supporters certainly won’t stop saying--that they were somehow unfairly robbed of gold because of what happened in the short dance.  It just isn’t true. Their mistake-ridden routine still earned them a score 3 points ahead of the third and fourth place teams--Hubbell/Donohue and the Shibs, respectively. And they trailed behind Tessa and Scott’s innovative, nearly-perfect, world-record-breaking short dance by less than 2 points. 

So I don’t want to hear any more about how their supposedly earth-shattering free dance should have won the gold if only Papadakis’s dress hadn’t broken. Because that’s a lie. 

Their free dance is lovely. It shows skill and precision and is beautiful to watch. But it’s not groundbreaking. It’s not memorable. And for fuck’s sake, it isn’t “ethereal.” Ethereal is defined as “of or relating to the regions beyond the earth; celestial, heavenly; unworldly, spiritual.”

The Northern lights are ethereal.

The whole Pemberley sequence in Pride & Prejudice 2005 is ethereal.

Jon Snow’s booty? Ethereal.

This? This isn’t ethereal. 

It’s just pretty good ice dancing, with gaping mouths.

[we-toldjokesonsaturday]

3x21 thoughts

Finally came to terms about the past two episodes of superstore, read a bunch of opinions from the fandom and I wanted to weigh in with some of my thoughts. I tried my best to split it into each of their perspective in order for me to understand where they were coming from. I’m glad most of you agree that the fight was needed and as messy as it is, I still think it wasn’t enough? They still left a lot unsaid, understandably so since they were very driven with pent up emotion and it wasn’t really the time for rational thought. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they argue again. Btw, watch me try to be unbiased and fail big time because I feel like there are some things missed out on Amy’s perspective. So, please feel free to add if I was unfair to either one of them or didn’t address some issues. This is an attempt to paint a full picture on this, so I can stop feeling so incredibly torn between them, it’s torturing.

First stop, the kiss.

That was a really messed up decision on Amy's part because she knows he's in a relationship and to kiss him because she "wanted to” is selfish in every way. The reason behind why she wanted to do it is sad but obvious. She felt like she was losing control, which are usually her lowest moment where she ends up doing dumb things in effort to keep it together and it has constantly ended up backfiring. (See literally every time she has tried to help anyone & truthfully am getting annoyed that it’s always her character who screws up and screws up even more trying to fix it but that’s a rant for another time.) She gave zero thought to how the kiss complicated his feelings and then Kelly’s too. It was partly fuelled by the fact she was feeling vulnerable and desperate to hold on to things she wanted, thanks to the unwanted pregnancy which reminded her of how much she lost and missed out on by having a baby at 19. It was a repeat of what she had gone through and she saw how her life was going to get derailed and is going to change again. Another part of it and equally as important, in my opinion, was that she saw how important he had become to her, even though he’s always been there, she’s never paid attention to how big of a role he played by always being the one who had her back and never judged. Being pregnant made her look at her current situation and see the full picture. That realisation and her recent feelings for him added up and in a way, she convinced herself that kissing him is okay. She took advantage of the fact he always took whatever she threw his way without lashing back or complaining, he was the one to tolerate it and make their friendship still work.

It was obvious how much he himself wanted it and have waited for it. It was the worst timing, but it showed how his feelings never faded one bit. The way he reacted to the kiss after finding out she’s pregnant was so heart breaking. He had no idea what to do and obviously couldn’t understand her selfish reasoning. It must have felt like she was just using him and wanted to kiss him because of her difficult position and it had nothing to do with her feelings since she had never really shown her romantic feelings towards him. It was undoubtedly unfair to him and him walking away was completely justified. There was just no way for him to comprehend what she had done, that she kissed him on purpose, not out of panic or out of the heat of the moment, but on purpose, knowing that she’s pregnant and that he’s taken.

I do kind of wish he would have let it out in the warehouse because would have been far less messy that way instead of everything else that went down after and it looked like she was ready to hear and take whatever he had to say.

Pushing Jonah to talk about it and giving him absolutely no room to breathe just added onto Amy’s pile of bad decisions. He had kissed another woman while in a relationship and that must have messed with his head.  He had to deal with lying to Kelly, kicked into denial mode and ended up taking drastic steps in their relationship. In a way also trying to proof to himself that he could make it work with Kelly, and that he had stronger feelings for her. On top of that, he had to deal with his resurfacing feelings for Amy which in my opinion he thought had faded. He had wanted that for so long and probably gave up hope, so to have her kiss him like that was hugely disappointing and hurtful. When Jonah gave her 2 minutes to speak, he was actually willing to hear her out, and his attitude was such a good addition because for once he was the once dictating how things were gonna go and taking a stand for himself without compensating to her. When he let her talk, she finally admitted to having feelings for him, but I don’t think she made it clear on how serious she is about those feelings. Personally, I think that to him it was still a “crush” or just minor feelings. However, feelings or not, it clearly did not justify what she did and further proved that what she did was purely selfish.

Amy knew she screwed up, she saw the way he was upset and knew she had to do something to fix it. The way he avoided the conversation made it evident that it was something they had to talk about, so she was persistent, oblivious to how the kiss brought up his long-buried feelings for her and that he was not ready to talk about it, because she didn’t want to lose their friendship.

The last time when he brought up the tornado kiss, the both of them simultaneously agreed not to talk about it, Jonah most probably doing that in consideration of her situation at that moment. But eventually, they did confront how awkward things were and worked past it. Even though it was just them avoiding the whole thing, they still went back to being friends and maybe somewhere in Amy’s head, she thought they could work past it this time around too. They needed to confront things, so she pushed, admittedly inconsiderate. But she did it because he was that important to her. Even with all the things she had to deal with that day, and with Adam and Alex around, her main focus was still Jonah.

At the end of the day, I’m assuming Jonah saw that Amy wasn’t around and went to find her, maybe feeling guilty over the whole day after having finally had some time to breath and think. He took a step and even apologised, finally ready to try and resolve their issue but she shut him down.

She gave no thought to the fact that he was having a rough day too thanks to her foolish decision of kissing him. And when he said okay, she still pounded on him because he sounded upset when he had every right to be. In a situation that she brought on herself, he still had to be the understanding one.

“It’s what you want, when you want it.”

I don’t know what other contexts there are involving them, so I’m assuming it’s mainly about the fact she kissed him when she wanted to and now she only wants to talk when it’s convenient for her. And it’s true, plus, she does this thing where puts her opinions on top of everyone else, even in situations where she isn’t the main person. She does it thinking that she knows best, ignoring the person who the situation is about.

Anyways, the degree of complications that the kiss has provoked still hasn’t hit her and she assumes that Jonah is overreacting. Because right now, she has bigger problems to worry about other than a kiss and to her, that seemed to be the main problem in his life. Totally unfair to him and he was right to call her out on it. She had a horrible day and still had to face her pregnancy, the nightmare wasn’t over so to be honest it’s a miracle she’s still keeping it together. But it gave her no right to compare their problems, especially when she had no idea what problems he could be having in his life.

He had always gone the extra mile and cared about her, noticed whenever she was upset and was ready to lend a helping hand. Amy, on the other hand, never probed into his life. I feel like both of them are at fault here, Amy a little more for not being aware enough to care for him the same way he does with her. He was always cheerful and bright, never really showing when he’s down. He doesn’t go to her with his problems, assuming that she has stuff of her own to deal with and that she probably doesn’t want to hear it; Amy being so guarded about herself, she probably isn’t good at reading him and if she does see that he’s upset, she doesn’t know how to approach the subject with him. Her affection always comes off as teasing or sarcasm and rarely heartfelt declaration because she’s just that awkward about being vulnerable. She never lets it show that she cares about him even though she does; note that she does make an effort to apologise whenever they tease him in the store & in 2x11, one of the few times he spoke about his past, she was there to help him, even with the time when he was so disturbed that Glenn didn’t particularly like him when dating Kristen, she did offer a little advice. Obviously, it’s minimal, not nearly as much as Jonah does and could use a lot of improvement. One thing I really need her (and everyone in the store) to change though, is how they always shut down his opinions and never listens. Y’all are rude and insensitive af when he’s literally just trying to help.

That being said, still a douche move for her to compare problems and dismiss his.

“Are you really that pissed off that I kissed you?”

Amy thinking that that’s the reason he’s pissed was astounding considering how much history they have. I don’t think she expected it to invoke such huge complications because she didn’t realise the degree of his feelings, that it goes back so far and how hard it must have been to keep it under wraps. To a certain degree, I think she thought it was gonna be a kiss they can just ignore like they did before. She would have to go back and face her pregnancy making a relationship with him impossible so initially she probably figured that the consequences were just gonna be her and her feelings. Apart from him always being concerned for her, she doesn’t know/never noticed that his caring attitude towards her was more than platonic or “crush”. He never let his feelings slide past their boundary, possibly in fear of losing their friendship. While we may have thought it was so obvious, she never really saw the way he looks at her. He’s dated multiple people since they’ve known each other, so to her, it couldn’t have been more than a simple crush.

“I’m pissed off that I waited around for you for two years and you waited until I was in a relationship and you were pregnant to kiss me.” “Who asked you to wait around?”

At first, I thought he was blaming it on her but really it was a comparison on what he did vs what she did. That he stood by and waited, not making a single move while she chose the worst time to make a move. He had so many triggers to make a move, but he never did out of respect for her marriage and subsequently her divorce. Even when he was with Kelly and Amy’s news with Tate and Alex came up, he was so obviously so bothered by it but he never said/did anything. Partly because he was already with Kelly and it would have been out of line to do anything considering how he was committed to another person. Through all of that he never made a move on her because it would have been selfish put what he wanted first, his wants that would have ended up causing damage to either Amy’s marriage, Amy or Kelly. So, Amy being that selfish made absolutely no sense to him.

I wish that Amy took what he said as a comparison because her response would have meant that she hoped he made a move on her but clearly that’s not the case. She obviously took it as him blaming her and thought it was unfair hence throwing it back at him with “Who asked you to wait?”, not realising the depth of his feelings, that he waited because he wanted her that much. I know what I said about him respecting her space after the divorce, but he could have made his feelings clear then. Yes, maybe if he did, she would have reacted badly/strangely to it, but at least it would be out there.

She realised her feelings for him only after he started dating Kelly, so there really wasn’t a suitable time to make a move between getting a divorce and him getting into a relationship with Kelly. Unfortunately, her being pregnant ended up pushing her to do it out of fear of change. She had a time constraint, something that he didn’t have. Not his fault but it is worth pointing out that their circumstances were different.

“I don’t even know what you’re still doing here, Jonah. You can leave whenever you want.” “So could you, but we all know that’s never gonna happen.” “Go to hell, Jonah.”

It was a low-blow by both of them in all honesty. They were vulnerable and so they got defensive, doing the typical things people do in a fight; push them away or hurt them. She said he could leave, pushing him away as though she doesn’t need or want him there. (But this is up for interpretation because I’ve seen some interpret this as the fact that he isn’t stuck at Cloud9 the way she is and it’s a valid point.) He said that in response, knowing it would hurt her because it was the truth. Highkey understandable because hearing her say that she didn’t ask him to wait and that he can leave must have been so hard to hear. It made it seem like he had little to no importance in her life. Amy’s final line to him, regardless of the fact he was actually right, was because that was the last thing she would have expected him to say. She knew that he knew it would hit her right on the mark as it was something she had shared with him in the past, so for him to pull that out was huge and immensely painful, especially with everything that’s happening in her life.

 Wish I could do a TL;DR version but I wouldn’t have written such a long rant if I could

 More opinions no one asked for:

I truly think the pregnancy is a re-do moment for her. Her job at Cloud9 started off with a pregnancy and the series started off with her realising how stagnant her life is. This pregnancy, unwanted and untimely like the first time around, is the exact thing that would force her to make big decisions. The pregnancy scare in season 2 drove her to admit to Adam that she wasn’t happy, and the tornado made them realise that they shouldn’t stay together. She’s always been a person who’s scared of change and always needed something big to push her into confronting her true feelings. I don’t know where they’re taking this plot and I’m scared but also quite intrigued.

Jonah & Kelly; You guys knew from the start that they were gonna break up and sure, it was a horrible way to break up, but I appreciate that moment where Jonah knew he couldn’t go on. After everything he did and the way he tried to make it work with her, it just wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t intentionally leading her on. He genuinely wanted to make it work, because she deserved that, but he attempted and failed. He stopped trying to trick himself into forcing the relationship and was finally honest with himself about his feelings. A huge part had to do with the kiss and how he had to come to terms with the fact his feelings are still stubbornly there.

[alien-versus-yakuza]

TERRAFO REREAD: VOLUME 13

It’s time for volume 13. I’ve read most of the volumes while in the train going to or coming from work, but I’m taking the pictures home with my little helper. Say hi to Edea, the cute demon who decides to sit on my legs everytime I try to take pictures.

Beware of spoilers from future volumes, sorry for not including the most important parts and, as always, prepare por shameless shipping and love for non combatants.

This is the most angry I’ve seen Akari in the whole series. When he knows about Yuriko dying he gets angry but at the moment he is crying. Later, in Mars, he loses it for a moment but Michelle and Shokichi stop him, and after that he’s calm again. But he just lost it seconds before it, and even after “coming back” he’s still full of rage. It’s terrible seeing him like that

EVAAAAAAAA, MY SWEET, ADORABLE, BRAVE AND GORGEOUS EVA. This is for me one of the best plot twist from this manga. She’s the tragic heroine in this story, she has one of the best developments I’ve seen in a character. She had to adapt so fast, to learn how to be strong and a lot more decisive in few days, And she did. The easiest would have been her becoming cold and distant because of the trauma, as it happens with many character that develop by force due to losing someone. But this is not the case. She’s a lot stronger, yeah, both physically and mentally, but she’s still sweet, caring, light hearted...The trauma served her to stop being someone who needs protection, to be someone who wants to protect the others. And she keeps having insecurities, but she overcomes them. 

Akari is so happy to see her <3. Other of my headcanons is that Akari and Eva are best friends (along with Michelle, of course). I know in the series both of them are shown as great friends with Sheila, Marcos and Alex, but i think Eva and Akari’s personalities fit a lot. Something like when Akari needs advice from someone and he can’t go to Michelle for he, he would for to ask Eva and not Marcos or Alex. And vice versa. I can easily picture Akari asking Eva for help to get Michelle something for her birthday, am I the only one?

She had to endure so much, so so fucking much.

His face when Eva tells him there’s hope and Michelle is not dead yet is priceless

It’s great how the three of them, Eva, Yaeko and Akari, are trying to do everything in their hands to save Michelle. Also, let’s remember Michelle considers this as a kiss. Michelle, sweetie, you should ask Akari to give you a proper kiss, no hints, just be clear. 

Just took this picture to share another of my headcanons. Due to this I started to think Akari is really good sewing. In fact, in that fic I’m constantly babbling about, he’s good at it, and more than one time fixes his flatmates’ (Marcos and Alex) clothes. 

Reminder that Michelle is (in part) alive thanks to Eva. I find very interesting this way of her using her new power, showing us that it has more uses apart from killing and making shields. 

On the other hand Akari is so desperate. I can’t picture how hard it must be being in love with someone, losing her and when you finally start loving someone else, she dies in your arms to protect you. Give this guy a rest.  

As it has happened with Xi and Liu before, Jet was shown as someone heartless, that didn’t mind to kill people just to get his goal. It’s what he has done all his life in order to survive. But from here we can see the human in him. How he is envious of Akari because at least he has someone to love and protect.

Also, when even your enemies support your ship maybe it’s time to make it  official, just saying. 

This is so sad. Jet is a character I learned to love as I got to know him and the reasons behind his actions. And this moment is what did me definitely like him, when he decides that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone else. He’s been a victim of his own circumstances his whole life, and many people took advantage of him for that. Also it’s beautiful that he realizes he doesn’t want to hurt more people because he’s envious of the love Akari has for Michelle.

Yaeko, oh Yaeko, sweetie. You’re the fucking best. Here we have again, the girl who cries and it’s contantly afraid, leaving aside alL that to protect a friend. Even when she knows she doens’t have a single chance to hurt Dorjiberke. She’s not even transformed yet, she just jump in front of Akari to avoid him being (even more) hurt. In many mangas happens that the own authors doesn’t give the “weak” characters any chance to shine. Here they give those character many moments, but still a lot of readers prefer to ignore them. 

Yaeko is another character I headcanon as having a great relationship with Akari. And even a small crush, not enough for her wanting to go out with him, but enough to ogle at him when he walks shirtless around the gym. 

Let’s remember this as the day Yaeko and Eva saved Akari from Dorjiberke. I can see them in the future, having a drink, or going shopping or whatever, and randomnly Yaeko saying “Hey Eva, , do you remember when we saved Akari’s ass?”

And that would lead to him inviting the both of them to a restaurant. Every time.

Eva being the sweet girl she is and bringing Yaeko clothes to change. And at the same time being as brutally honest as she is and telling her to burn what she’s wearing because it stinks. And all with that cute smile of hers. 

Forget what I said before. HERE is when Akari is the most furious in the whole series. He’s bitting off PEOPLE’S EARS, soy they won’t get near Michelle’s corpse. PEOPLE’S EARS. 

GIVE.THIS.GUY.A.REST......

AND.A.HUG

[max-is-drunk-at-comic-con]

DanversSistersWeek: Day 3 - Nerd Sisters

Hey folks, I’m late, I know. But hey, nobody’s perfect, eh? This thing’s weird and it’s mainly written for my beloved @ohhellothereworld-blog (this story was her idea in the first place). I hope y’all enjoy it!

Flame Con

They still weren’t quite sure how they had managed to convince J’onn to give them all off. It might have been the argument that now that Supergirl had come out as bisexual, she was a queer icon and had to be there. It might have been the fact that this would be an important experience for Alex and her journey of embracing her own sexuality fully. It might have been the Danvers sisters’ puppy eyes and the feared Sawyer pout that made J’onn’s resistance crumble into itself. In the end, he gave them all off and labelled it as a team-building-exercise for anyone stupid enough to question his decision. How wouldn’t lend them the jet, though.

On Thursday night, chaos reigned in the Danvers/Sawyer household as Alex desperately tried to bring order to her fiancée’s catastrophic packing system and Maggie made a game of throwing down said system. When the LCorp vehicle to the airport arrived, Alex snapped at the driver and Maggie couldn’t get rid of a shit-eating grin. They made up on their way to the airfield, though, to the very displeasure of their poor driver.

Lena’s jet was awaiting them and judging by the silhouettes behind the aircraft’s windows, they were the last ones to arrive. And indeed, Kara, Lena, Winn, and James had already made themselves comfortable in the luxurious seats, their luggage stowed away in the back of the cabin. Alex brought their bags to the others’ before flopping down on the seat next to Kara. Maggie curled up on a seat across the aisle.

Just as they had all fastened their seat belts, Lena returned from the cockpit and within minutes they were up in the air and heading towards New York City.

“I’m so excited!” Kara squealed as soon as they could take off their seat belts. A brilliant smile lit up her face and Alex could see her floating a fraction of an inch above her seat. “It’s gonna be so amazing!” She frantically flailed her arms, causing Alex to burst into a throaty laughter at her adorableness. The rest of the group soon joined in, endeared by Kara’s childlike outburst.

“Whose idea was going to Flame Con in the first place?” Lena eventually asked when the laughter had died down a bit. Half of the fingers were suddenly pointing at Alex who in turn firmly pointed at Maggie. Maggie just shrugged. “Hey, it’s a fabulous convention! And at least it wasn’t me who started the whole cosplay business!” She shot a very pointed look towards her fiancée who promptly ignored her. Kara received the same annoyed look from Lena.

“Cosplaying is fun!” Kara remarked. “Says the costumed hero,” Maggie shot back and rolled her eyes. “Kara’s right, though,” Alex defended her little sister. “Nerds!” Maggie huffed, another eyeroll following. “Takes one to know one, Sawyer.” “Well, I agree with the Danvers sisters on this one.” “Sure you do, Winn. Too bad no one asked you.” “I gotta admit, it does sound like it’s gonna be fun.” “Et tu, James?” Maggie let out an overdramatic sigh. “Seems like we’re alone on this one, Luthor.”

*

Three hours later, the plane touched ground and rolled out on the landing strip. By then the group was mildly drunk and the cosplay discourse long forgotten. Chatting and laughing, they unloaded their luggage and stowed it away in the car awaiting them. Lena had rented them a spacious apartment near the hotel in which the convention took place. Alex ordered food for the group while the others unpacked and made themselves comfortable. The rest of the evening was spent eating and drinking before they went to bed. It was still early, but they unanimously agreed that they needed every minute of sleep they could get.

Nonetheless, morning dawned on them faster than any of them appreciated. Within the next hour they managed to create a perfect mess in the whole apartment, littering every available surface with clothing and make up and face paint and hair products and whatnot. The apartment came with two large bathrooms, but even they couldn’t quite handle the hassle that ensued. Winn and James occupied the living room, covering the expensive carpet with fake fur as Winn helped James into his Chewbacca costume.

In the meantime, Kara had Lena perched on the rim of the bathtub and her laptop next to the sink – a hair tutorial playing on a loop – while she perfected Lena’s Lexa hairdo. She expertly wove beads into the elaborate grid of hair slowly forming under her fingers. Lena silently endured the tugging and frizzing and the abuse of her hair roots. Internally she was mourning the less of her hair’s glossy and smooth texture.

In the other bathroom, Alex was wrestling her way into a perfect replica of the Captain America uniform. “This thing is impractical and in no way combat-fit,” she ranted while Maggie zipped up the corset-like top of Alex’s costume. “You’re not the one with the skirt so stop whining,” Maggie grunted, smoothing out the fabric covering her thighs for the umpteenth time. “That never stopped Peggy Carter from kicking ass,” Alex retorted and grinned goofily at her fiancée. Maggie just huffed in return, slamming the army hat on top of her head.

*

The convention was only two blocks away, so instead of troubling their driver, the six of them decided to walk. Surprisingly few people turned around to gawk at the strange party consisting of Han Solo, Chewbacca, Wanheda, Commander Lexa, Captain America and Peggy Carter walking down the street, chatting vividly. They were by far not the weirdest thing this neighbourhood would see on this day.

The advantages of attending this with a Luther was the ability of skipping queues and shortly after arriving at the hotel, the group walked in, full VIP passes dangling around their necks. The flood of people in colourful cosplays and smart merchandise shirts was incredible and they awed and ohhed when the escalator took them upstairs and the convention floor opened before their eyes. Tables stood side by side, loaded with merchandise, books, graphic novels, works of artists, canvas and paper that were yet to be filled with expertise.

They were just around the corner of the fist aisle when a young boy – he might have been fifteen or even younger – came to an abrupt halt in front of James. His eyes widened in amazement at the big, fluffy Wookie in front of him. “Can I… can I hug you, Chewbacca?” the boy stuttered, causing the group to smile warmly at him. James didn’t answer, but let out a long, approving Wookie sound and opened his arms wide. In a heartbeat, the boy’s face was buried in James’ fur. James ruffled the kid’s blue, pink and white died hair and let out another perfect Wookie sound. From there on James was almost always surrounded by the younger convention attendants who all wanted to get a hug from the big Wookie.

In the meantime, Kara and Alex had pulled out the schedules of their must-attend panels and events they had previously prepared. Lena peaked at their elaborate flow charts, shook her head, and went back to stand next to Maggie. “They are crazy,” she simply deadpanned, eyes still widened in amazement. “They have planned everything. Down to the last minute.” “They’re nerds, Lena. That’s how they roll,” Maggie laughed and sympathetically patted her shoulder. “And that’s why we love ‘em.”

*

The whole day consisted of Kara and Alex dragging the Superfriends to every panel possible, before completely over-boarding on merchandise. Alex forced Maggie to sit for a portrait together with Lena and Kara and decided she would hang the resulting drawing in their living room. Maggie didn’t even try to argue with her and she had to admit, that the comic-y style of the drawing did wonders to her legs and ass. Later, Lena got bullied into buying an Iron Man lamp, because Kara thought it was cool and Winn got one in the shape of the Millennium Falcon for James ‘office.

When they were finally back at the apartment, Lena threw herself dramatically on the couch, draping a hand over her eyes, smearing the black face paint even more. Maggie didn’t even reach the couch, but came to lie on the fur stained carpet, face down and sprawled out over the whole thing. James’s first thing to do was tossing his mask on the next surface and wiggling out of the suit. The tank top and the thin shorts he had worn underneath were soaked in sweat and he positioned himself directly in front of the running fan. Winn collapsed next to Maggie, bags of merchandise still in hand. Only Kara and Alex seemed to still have energy left. They were already chatting about the best time to show up to the afterparty.

Kara was the first to shower and comb out the dirt and paint in her hair. She was to attend the party as Supergirl and it took a long time to get her hair back to its normal glossy state. She was halfway through the process, when the shower door opened and Lena stepped inside. It took Alex’s loud banging on the door, to make them leave the shower forty minutes later. By then, the rest of the group had gotten rid of their cosplays and changed into geek chic par excellence. They said goodbye to Kara and headed out. Kara followed fifteen minutes later, relishing her very superhero-y entrance on stage. The nerdy queer kids around her went wild and Kara couldn’t stop grinning. Alex stood amongst them, proud like every big sister would be, a single tear running down her cheek. The impression her little sister left on the community and the sheer joy in the audience was incredible, but nothing in comparison to the panel Kara held the following day.

The Ask Supergirl panel’s line up was huge and without their VIP passes, the Superfriends wouldn’t have gotten any seats even though the organizers were constantly adding chairs. In the end, people were even sitting on the floor and standing along the walls. Everyone wanted a chance to chat with THE Supergirl.

“Who’s your superhero?” a skinny girl with dark skin and a Princess Leia shirt asked. “My hero is my sister, Alex. She’s always there for me and has taught me all about earth customs that I know now.” Alex grinned as Kara’s eyes briefly met hers.

“Is there someone special in your life?” a pink-haired boy on crutches asked, making Kara blush a little. “Yes, there is and she is the most beautiful girl in the whole universe!” Lena silently whipped away a tear and Alex slung an arm around her shoulders.

“I don’t really have a question,” an elderly lady rasped into the microphone. The whole room went completely quiet. “But I want to thank you, Supergirl. Your coming out gave me the courage to finally come out to my children and grandchildren.” Kara’s choked up response went under in the roaring applause and cheering that suddenly erupted all around the room.

After the panel and a change of clothing, Kara ran towards her sister, embracing her in a bone-crushing hug. “You did great, Kara,” Alex said, burying her face in Kara’s hair. “I am so, so proud of you.” “Thanks, Alex.” “Always, little sis. And now let’s go check out that Harry Potter panel!” Kara squealed and linked their arms and together they sprinted towards the other side of the convention floor. Maggie and Lena just stood still, shaking their heads, whispering in unison, “Nerds.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11929077/chapters/27026868