#and again no shit… that would be considered an uncomfortable experience anywhere for anyone are you stupid

[tariah23]

It’s so annoying to listen to a video about a certain topic (especially if it has to do with Japan specifically) and the commentator (they’re always fucking white) would say some stupid shit like “just for reference, murder is considered a bad thing over in Japan 😳-“ like no shit???

[veilder]

"I thought you left" "Nope, just making pancakes" - Convin

Okay, so, I love this prompt and I promised I'd try to write it so... I actually did this last week at like 2 am and have been too busy to edit it until now. But I'm kinda sick of trying to puzzle it out so just take it please, omg.

(Prompt from this post if anyone's curious.)

Stay

The sun was already high in the sky when Gavin finally blinked awake. He could tell because there was one fuckin sliver of window he could never manage to cover with the blackout curtains hanging up in his bedroom and the goddamn sun was shining right in his fuckin eyes, Jesus Christ! With a groan, he rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut in a futile attempt to go back to sleep. But even that small burst of cognizance had its consequences. Gavin could feel the awareness creeping in fast, God fuckin dammit. Was a little shut-eye too much to ask for? But there was something... Something niggling at the back of his mind. It itched at instincts well-honed by over a decade on the force and not even his most earnest desire to return to oblivion could keep it at bay. Restlessly, Gavin huffed out a disgruntled sigh as he kicked at the covers, frustrated despite himself at being roused after the night he’d had— Like a shock passing through his body, Gavin’s eyes snapped open, memories of the previous evening flashing through is mind. But just as readily, a heaviness settling deep in his heart as he took in the other side of the bed. The sheets were mussed and the pillow indented, a clear sign of its former occupant. Evidence as plain as day told Gavin that last night hadn’t been some delusion or dream. And yet… He reached out a hand, an involuntary, desperate motion, tracing the outline where his partner had lain. Where Connor had lain. But just as he’d feared, the sheets were cold. They matched the ice filling his heart. Slowly shuffling upright, Gavin leaned back against the headboard as memories of the previous day filled his waking mind. Flashes of the case he and Connor had worked together rushed by in a flurry. The tip-off for the perp they’d been tracking for weeks and the reckless chase that followed. The abandoned warehouse. The shootout. Vivid Thirium across dirty concrete. Connor had taken a bullet for him. Gavin remembered staring up into those brown eyes, watching as a splatter of blue burst from his chest. "I'm fine," Connor had said, "the bullet didn't nick anything important." And even though the android had gotten right back up and proceeded to almost single-handedly take down the rest of the hostiles attacking them, it was still a moment Gavin knew would haunt him for a long-ass time. Shit was enough to give him nightmares. It did give him nightmares, in fact. Which is how the two of them had ended up back here. In Gavin's apartment. Together. Because after that little fiasco, after the gang had been arrested and the hostages recovered and both he and Connor had been checked over by a medic and technician respectively, it still left the job far from complete. Needless to say, Gavin had eventually nodded off at his desk after a long night of interrogation and paperwork, the rushes of adrenaline and fear more than even his beloved coffee could contend with. He only meant to rest his eyes for a moment. Just a moment and then he'd finish up. But when he awoke some indeterminate time later, it was to his own voice screaming, Connor's name upon his lips, Connor's blue blood scattered across the darkest corners of his mind, Connor's hand upon his shoulder jostling him awake. The android’s LED was flashing a violent red as he stared Gavin down, his brown eyes wide with worry. Gavin couldn't help but cling to him, something twisting, clenching in his heart and demanding he hold on tightly. From there, things had passed in a blur, though he remembered Fowler's imposing figure ordering the both of them to take the next few days off. Too tired and distressed to argue, Gavin agreed immediately, only too glad to get the fuck out of there and go home. And Connor? Connor insisted he drive Gavin home. Connor insisted he make sure Gavin got to his door. Connor insisted that he get Gavin to his bed. And Gavin, still clinging to the android with every last bit of his flagging strength, let him. Over and over he let the android steer him along, trusting a partner fully for the first time in... For the first time

in far too long. And when Gavin had finally settled, comfortable yet shivering in his too-large bed, he took a moment to insist right back. "Stay," he'd said. One word. One plea. A lifetime of wanting to not be alone wrapped up in a single syllable. A few short weeks of shifting worldviews and growing affections cradled in four letters. A wealth of experience in loss stealthily couched within a breath. Gavin insisted. And Connor stayed. Or, at least Gavin thought he had. Because here and now, in the stupidly bright light of day, he was alone again. Like always. He didn't know why he'd expected otherwise. He really should've known better. After all, why would Connor want to hang around here? Especially after his fuckin embarrassing little act last night, fuck. He probably had loads of things to do. Important... android things... People to meet. Places to be. He wouldn't waste his entire day sitting around in Gavin's shitty apartment while he slept like a log. How fuckin stupid would that be? It didn't mean anything. Gavin told himself this over and over again as he shifted, swinging his legs out from under the covers and onto the floor. Just because they could be considered friends now didn't mean Connor had to drop everything for him. Just because he'd begging him to stay didn't mean Connor owed him anything. He'd probably felt uncomfortable as hell last night, what with Gavin whining and bitching at him like a fuckin child. Probably said what he could to mollify him before getting the hell out of Dodge. Gavin couldn't even blame him for that. Fuck, Connor'd just had emergency maintenance done! Because of Gavin! Like hell he'd want some handsy human all over him for ten straight hours, Jesus Christ. It didn't mean anything. Even if he wished it did. His stomach picked that moment to rumble, thankfully interrupting his little pity-party. Thank fuck. It was too early in the morning (or afternoon technically) to be crying over stupid shit. He was probably just hungry. Yeah, that's it. He's all fuckin emotional cause he hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. It didn't matter that Connor fucked off ASAP, Gavin could get some waffles delivered. Waffles never fuckin betrayed him. He could trust waffles. With newfound resolve, Gavin stood, fumbling for his phone on the nightstand before scrolling through his food delivery aps to see if he could get waffles from anywhere at two in the fuckin afternoon. With heavy tread he stepped out into the hallway, mouth already watering at the prospect and stomach rumbling again in agreement. Fuck, he could almost smell them already. Wait. No, he can smell them? What the fuck?! Before Gavin could do anything more but stand there in his pajamas, wide-eyed and mystified, a figure stepped into view. Instinctively, Gavin's heart raced, adrenaline flooding his veins as the threat of a home invader cycled through his brain. In that fraction of a second, he was prepared to dive into an all-out brawl with the bastard. He was not in the mood for this shit! But then said bastard's lips quirked into a dazzling grin and a brown-eyed gaze sent Gavin reeling in disbelief. While his brain was preoccupied with keeping his suddenly-weak legs standing, his idiot mouth opened up on it's own: "I thought you left,” he said, choking on his disbelief. Connor (because of course it was Connor) only quirked his head to the side in that cute way he does, looking for all the world like the dogs he so adored. His LED flashed a single, swirling yellow before settling back to blue and he said, "No, I was just making pancakes. I thought perhaps you might be hungry." A strange hesitance entered his voice, some dour note falling across his features. "Did you want me to leave?" "No!" Gavin blurted out in a moronic, high-pitched squeak because again, he was nothing if not an idiot. (And one destined to embarrass himself at every possible moment at that.) Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I mean, you can do whatever you want. Doesn’t matter to me." (He's lying through his teeth. It obviously did matter to him. It

mattered a huge fuckin deal!) Connor blinked at him, the only sign of the awkward atmosphere between them the flashing colors at his temple. "Your words run contrary to both your body language and your involuntary actions," he said, "And they are a direct counterpoint to your request last night." Gavin fidgeted, knowing the damn android was right but never in a million years wanting to admit it. "Stop analyzing me, dipshit, it's too early for this." Finally, Connor's face relaxes a bit, a smile smile stealing across his lips. "It is two thirty-three in the afternoon, Gavin. Far from early." "Oh, can it, Poindexter! You know what I mean!" With a huff, Gavin moves forward, sidling past his annoying house guest. "What was that about pancakes?" Connor beams at him as the two of them enter the kitchen. "Ah yes. I determined that you would be hungry after going so long without food. I managed to make due with your atrocious grocery selection and have prioritized calories over nutrition for the time being. But just this once.” While Connor seemed dead set on critiquing the apparently-lackluster pantry he’d been forced to bravely overcome, Gavin only had eyes for the heaping pile of flapjacks sitting at his breakfast nook, fluffy and golden brown and still steaming. Fresh off the griddle, holy shit. How did he…? Despite his hunger, Gavin looked over at Connor questioningly. It was almost like the android could read his mind (which was a scary fucking thought) as he answered his unspoken query immediately: "I calculated your sleep cycle based off the Circadian rhythms I observed during your convalescence. I'm glad I timed it right. I wanted you to enjoy your breakfast." "It's past 2 pm," Gavin retorted with a smirk, "can't be breakfast now, hotshot." Connor's answering smile made Gavin want to melt into a puddle and he quickly turned away, staring at said breakfast with a helpless desperation. "Indeed," the android said, heedless of his partner's distress. "Regardless of the time of day, I wanted you to enjoy your meal, nonetheless." And something more vulnerable finally stole into his voice then, the merest shadow of his quiet pleas from the night before. "I thought, perhaps, you might consider them an offering." Gavin tore his gaze away from his not-breakfast then, looking up at his partner with enough confusion to drive out all other complicated emotions. "What offering? What the fuck are you talking about, tincan?" And now Connor was the one to look away. "It's just that..." He drew in a deep breath (though Gavin knew it was only him mimicking humans. Fucker didn't actually need to breathe) and continued, "yesterday... Yesterday frightened me. When I saw that gunman aiming at you, I—" He clenched his eyes shut, LED flashing a dangerous red. "In that moment, I preconstructed a multitude of outcomes, many of them where you did not survive. In which that bullet found its mark. And the thought of it, Gavin!" he wails. "I couldn't—! The thought was unbearable! And so I calculated the best result. And I determined my course of action. And you lived. You lived. And I thought that would be the end of it. But..." Finally, Connor looked up, his eyes meeting Gavin's head-on once more. "It was like a glitch. The preconstruction, it— It kept resurfacing again and again and again, every time you were out of my sight. And I... I disliked the feeling immensely. I think perhaps I hated it, even. And so I did my best to linger. I didn't want to leave you. Even though I knew you were safe, I still... It was so irrational but I still wanted to verify that you were okay. I still do." Before them the pancakes were growing cold, but neither paid them any mind. Connor looked away again, eyes shut. "I thought that, perhaps you had figured this much out last night. Which is why you asked me to stay. Because we are friends now and that's what friends do. But I worried that I may have... forced the issue... in my desperation. And I-I... I wanted to do something for you in return for your generosity." Looking down at the cooling

breakfast, Connor's face fell further. "I know it's not much but I thought at least—" Gavin had heard enough. "Okay, okay, okay, hold the fuck up, dumbass!" He stood, breakfast forgotten, and approached the shocked android with a fierce determination. Jabbing a finger directly into Connor's chest, he stated as sternly as he could, "You don't owe me a goddamn thing! For fuck's sake, Connor! You fuckin saved my goddamn life yesterday! You took a fuckin bullet for me! And even after that, you still fuckin stayed with me and made sure I got home safe!" A growl rumbled through his chest as Gavin poked Connor again. "I was having a fuckin nightmare about you dying! When you woke me up in the precinct! Did you know that?!" Connor shook his head but Gavin only poked him a third time, this time with much less force. He left his hand there, palm splayed across where his heart would be were he human. "That shit kept replaying for me, too. Over and over again. So I get it. I get wanting to 'verify.' I was doing the same thing. That's why I asked you to stay. Because I fuckin—! I wanted you here, okay?! Because the idea that you were hurt or injured or fuckin dead had me panicking!" He brought his other arm up now, slinging it around Connor's broad shoulders in a half-embrace, and leaned in, burying his face in the android's neck. "That shit's unbearable to me, too, tincan. Thinking of this fuckin trash heap of a world without you in it is—" He sucked in a breath. "Can't stand the thought." They stood there for what felt like an eternity (though it was probably only a few seconds) before slowly—tentatively—Connor brought his own arms up to squeeze around Gavin. He held him with a brittle tenderness, his touch light and careful as if he was afraid Gavin might break. And fuck, maybe he would. Maybe Connor could shatter him into a hundred-thousand little pieces. But shit, he'd take it. Because Gavin would never have been in this situation in the first place if Connor hadn't broken right through his walls first, scattering him and leaving him adrift in a strange, new world. And when he’d managed to build himself back up, it was into something—someone—stronger. Someone who could look at the world and see progress instead of oppression, opportunity instead of limitations, people instead of just machines. Connor had shattered his body once before down in the archives. He'd shattered his mind too over these last few months. It’d only make sense for him to shatter his heart as well. But he didn't. He wouldn't. And as Connor held him like a thing to be cherished, Gavin felt again that perhaps he'd been right last night. Perhaps this was a partner he could trust. A partner who could trust him, too. And perhaps he would— "Stay."

_____________

Bonus:

Connor: "Okay, but only if you eat your pancakes. I didn't download an entire cooking catalogue for you to let them go to waste, Gavin." Gavin: "Fuckin bite me, we're having a moment here." Connor: "Is your stomach rumbling part of that moment?" Gavin: "God fucking dammit, I fuckin hate you." Connor: ^_^ "False!" Gavin: "Fuck!"

And they lived happily ever after. ♥

[f1nalboys]

Yes to NO: Getting Pegged

SURE LETS DO IT

STU MACHER

You're not going to look me in the eye and tell me that this man isn’t getting pegged/bottoming on the daily???

HE DATED TATUM RILEY...HE WAS GETTING PEGGED

He was probably the one to bring up the idea

Takes the strap like a champ, he’s a pillow princess when he’s being a sub lol

THOMAS HEWITT

IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS TO ME THIS MAN WOULD BE UP FOR IT

You’d have to explain it to him and everything and he may be a little nervous but he is totally ready to try

He did not expect to like it as much as he did 

Totally ready to do it again whenever you want

Absolutely keep this in the bedroom, do not even joke about it, especially around Hoyt because if Hoyt found out he would bully Tommy so much and I am not letting that happen

LESTER SINCLAIR

This man is willing to do anything once

Again, you’d have to explain it to him but he’d be so nonchalant about it like ‘alright you wanna do it now?’

It was a bit uncomfortable for him at first but once he got used to the feelings...good luck! He���s gonna be asking you to peg him at least twice a week

BILLY LOOMIS

The man is a top through and through because when he’s with Stu 99/100 times he is topping

He has that whole ‘badass’ reputation to protect but he’d say yes pretty quickly because he’s already done it once before so he might as well

Oh my god is he beautiful during it… I recommended missionary just so you can see his face because the dude is going to be melting with every touch and he is going to be a sight to see

Praise him also, he really deserves it

Again, never to be mentioned anywhere besides with Stu (if you’re in a poly relationship, if not then that’s also a hard no) and do not make jokes about how he acted during it because they’re not funny to him and it’ll really just get him to fall back into that toxic masculinity mindset

BUBBA SAWYER

Bubba has no other experience with this kind of stuff so you would be explaining almost everything in the bedroom area to him

He is really taken aback because growing up around Drayton and in the 80’s let’s just say he doesn’t think too fondly about the idea :(

But you can calm his fears down pretty quickly by just explaining that there's nothing wrong with it in the slightest and that he doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to

He’ll enjoy it quite a bit, maybe not enough to do it all the time but if you’re in the mood for it he would be happy to oblige

VINCENT SINCLAIR

His only experience with this sort of thing is porn so if he ever made his way to the pegging side of the web he would be better off than having you explain it

The mans a visual learner what can I say 

Anyways, he’d be reluctant but willing to do it just ONCE but you are to never speak of it

It was alright...he’s not jumping for joy at it but it got the job done

If he’s going to be submissive he’d rather avoid pegging for the most part

BO SINCLAIR

Alright hear me out…

This mother fucker is a BRAT, a complete and utter brat

It would take a lot of trust and a very long relationship for him to even consider it and even then it’ll probably be a no

He just really doesn't like the idea of not being in control, it makes his chest tighten up

However, if he said he’d have a good time (just pamper that man during it!!! This is one of the few times he will be super vulnerable with you so make sure you are praising the shit out of him)

He is way to dominate too do it again though, but he’d consider doing it again for your birthday or something lol

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

He’s probably already heard of it and seen a video or two (he’s a horny feral bastard) so the moment you get it out he is giving you a hard no

When he’s in the mood (which is quite often) he doesn't want to be submissive in anyway

And if you can get him to be submissive he is going to want you to use him like he’s nothing but a toy, he wants to make you feel good not the other way around

Don’t bring it up again for a couple of months because he is going to get pissed off (he has anger issues as we all know) and he will either take his anger out on the house or on you and neither of those are good

MICHAEL MYERS (RZ)

No

Just don’t even bother asking honestly

He will show you exactly why he won't be getting pegged and you are going to be on bedrest for the next three days

He is not into the idea at ALL, hell he hasn’t even shown signs of being slightly submissive around you so it was a long shot

Bitch stare

Hopefully you’re smart enough to not ask again because I don’t know if he’s going to be giving you a good presentation of his answer if you know what I mean

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT

[princessofcurses]

[1] Take it.

Part 2 Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader Written from the perspective of Sukuna My first post! I wonder if anyone will read it? It's kind of long. The sexy stuff starts happening about halfway through. This is just one chapter so some things might not make sense. Let me know if you liked it and want more! Preface: A woman sorcerer challenged Sukuna. Her technique was able to nullify his, ending in a draw between the two. Frustrated at his inability to kill her, he decides to “take her” in “another way”. The cocky brat rejects him easily but he’s determined to win her over little by little when she visits him the next day.

She left quickly after our battle. I wanted to chase after her. She hadn’t even told me her name but the way she mocked me riled my soul up. A fire began to burn in my core and soon, I felt it in all of my blood. I was almost unsure if I wanted to kill her or fuck her. I hadn’t met a Jujutsu sorcerer as strong as her before, strong enough to go toe-to-toe with me. And strong enough to resist me. I couldn’t kill her so right now, I wanted nothing more than to fuck her. I can win in other ways. I wanted to earn her affection and make her mine. With her by my side, nothing would be able to stop me.

The next day, she came back to me. I was delighted.

“You thought about it, didn’t you? Did you rethink your stance?”

She replied to me with disgust.

“I’m here to waste your time and keep you from killing.”

I scoffed.

How can I win her over? After my ‘sex with hundreds of women’ comment last time, she obviously wants nothing to do with me. I can’t force her into submission because she neutralizes my techniques and she can use it against me. Should I buy her affection? Maybe gifts would do.

She noticed I was in thought and she used the pause to take a seat at the base of the mountain of skulls. She pulled out a book and began to read. She was bored with me again. She is so fucking infuriating. I wanted so badly to kill her but I couldn’t. So I thought I wanted so badly to ruin her and make her feel so good she submits to me. But she pretended I didn’t exist.

I jumped down from my throne to be closer to her.

“What’s your name?”

Without looking up from her book, she said just her first name.

“Akahime.”

“Oh? So you’re one of the heavenly twins. The red princess.”

“Mhm.”

Her one word replies irritated me. Women have died just getting too close to me and now there was one who not only rejected me but could stop me too. My usual approach wasn’t working so I tried being more direct.

“I want to talk to you.”

She immediately responded.

“I told you I’m not interested.”

“Please.”

She closed her book with both hands and put it down. I felt pitiful almost begging her just to speak with her.

“You’re annoying.”

I winced at her comment.

“What if we talked over dinner?”

“We wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without you being noticed. Plus, you might just try to kill everyone.”

“Then I’ll have one of my servants bring us something. You didn’t bring food, right? You’ll get hungry eventually.”

She put her index finger on her chin and looked up. She had a cute thinking face. If I could hear her thoughts, she probably cursed in her head that she forgot to bring something to eat.

“Okay, fine. I want an omakase from the most expensive sushi restaurant in Japan. I also want a bottle of sake. It better be warm too.”

This little brat. She’s a foot shorter than me but she treats me as if I’m the small one. I sighed in exasperation and I snapped my fingers for a servant to quickly appear. Akahime wondered where they came from.

“You heard her. Fetch. Quickly.”

They scurried out of the lair. I went to take a seat beside her. She looked uncomfortable and moved farther from me once I sat down. I sighed.

“I won’t bite. I just want to talk.”

She turned to me and smiled.

“Let’s talk over dinner!”

Ugh. She’s really cute, even when she’s nicely rejecting me. I was losing my composure. I was so frustrated that she wasn’t giving a single thing. I wanted to get on top of her and show her just why women come to me. But she might just leave altogether.

“Okay, looking forward to it then.”

I made my way back to my throne. I leaned my elbow against the armrest and held my head up with my hand. I wondered, what could I say to make her trust me? It felt like an eternity had passed once the food arrived. The servant laid all of the sushi out. Akahime and I sat on the floor. I poured her some sake and she took the small cup with a smile.

“Thank you, Sukuna!”

She could look so sweet. I was taken aback from it, considering how cocky she had been the entire time. She must really love this restaurant.

“Itadakimasu!”

We clapped our hands and she immediately went for a piece of salmon.

“I love this place! Oh, you ordered the omakase too? Wow, so you have money?”

Her personality completely changed.

“I’ve eaten at this place a couple of times. I like their omakase too. And yes, I have money.”

Maybe gifts were the way to go. I quickly wrote down some items for my servant to get.

She picked up a piece of toro and presented it to me with her other hand.

“This is my favorite.”

She plopped it into her mouth and she closed her eyes and smiled.

“Mmm!”

The way to her heart is through her stomach, I guess. We continued our dinner and I kept refilling her cup. She drank happily, finishing it quickly each time. Blush started to form across her cheeks and nose. We had just finished eating too.

She sighed.

“Ah. I feel like I ate too much.”

Her words slurred a bit and she put her head down on the table.

“I’m going to fall asleep right here.”

I helped her keep her head up.

“No, don’t do that. I got you something.”

My servant entered and set down a futon for her.

“I got you a futon to sleep on. It’s stuffed with goose feathers.”

She looked at me and then the futon with amazement.

“Wow! I have to lay on it right now!”

She finished the rest of the sake in the bottle and crawled over to the futon. I had the perfect view of her ass and I could see the outline of her panties. A chill went through me.

She laid out on the futon and cuddled the pillow, which was stuffed with goose feathers as well.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s really comfortable.”

Her smile was so charming and the way she looked up at me with sparkles in her eyes made me want to have her right at this moment.

“I got you something else.”

My servant handed her a white and flowy off-the-shoulder nightgown. She sat up and took it from the servant, who left quickly.

“I’m going to wear it now. Close your eyes.”

I covered my eyes but couldn’t help but peep through the cracks. She had stripped down to her panties and I could see her perky breasts and perfect ass. She clumsily slipped on the dress.

“Okay. I’m done changing.”

I uncovered my eyes and saw her unobstructed in the dress. She looked so dainty and was being so sweet. Was this the same girl I fought with? The same girl that I lost to? I examined her, thinking that she looked so innocent. I hungered for her. The off-the-shoulder part made her look even more enticing. I have good taste.

“It looks good on you.”

“Did you pick this out? I like it.”

“I did.”

We made eye contact for a few seconds and then she abruptly turned her back to me. She sat back down on the futon, swaying a bit from side to side. I thought for a second. Could this be my chance to close in? I didn’t want to respond. I might anger her and she’d tell me to leave her alone. I took a seat close to her instead.

“Did you enjoy the dinner?”

She was all smiles, not a hint of maliciousness or cockiness she had shown me before. My heart ached a little because of it.

“It was delicious and the sake is great! I feel good right now. Thank you, Sukuna.”

She said my name again and a chill ran down my spine. I wanted to make some contact with her. Just my index finger to her face or putting my hand over hers. I fucking hated this. I was doing so much to make her comfortable just so she wouldn’t push me away. Never in my life have I ever had to work for a woman’s affection. It pissed me off to no end. Why couldn’t I just have her already? The dress on her was making me lose my shit. The soft outline of her breasts in it. I didn’t want to take my eyes off of her. I just wanted to devour her.

She gave me a look of disapproval and then put her hands in my face to obstruct my view.

“Stop staring at me like that! I’m not a meal.”

Her hands were so small. I wanted to hold them in mine but instead, I grabbed her wrist. She had a surprised look which slowly sank to annoyance.

“Did you want something?”

Since she didn’t try to break free from my grasp, I kept holding her wrist up. I thought of the right words to say. What could I even say?

“I want you.”

She gently took back her wrist.

“I can’t help you.”

I brushed the hair in her face behind her ear.

“Why?”

A look of innocence took over her facial expression and the blush from the alcohol reddened even more from the blush of her reservations.

“I'm no stranger to foreplay but I want my first time to be with someone who’s also never fucked before.”

The way the crude word escaped her lips while she looked like an angel turned something on in me. I started to get erect and I wanted to let myself lose control. I don’t care what she does to me. I just want to touch her once.

“I have a lot of experience. I’ll figure out how to please you quickly.”

Her look had a hint of sadness.

“I won’t compromise on this.”

God damn it. Why did I have to be such a whore? I can’t even remember anyone I’ve had sex with.

“Can I just touch you then?”

I braced myself for rejection. Her head tilted to the side. I wonder if she was actually thinking about it.

“Sure.”

I was shocked. I wanted to jump her right then and there but I had to control myself. I was being given a little and I was more than happy to take what I could get. She let me choose what position I would touch her in. I had her lay back on my arm and I cradled her like a baby. My hand just touching her soft skin and shoulders made me want to shudder but I needed to keep my cool in front of her. I raised my hand slowly to caress her face. We made eye contact and her glossy stare at me made me want to see what other faces she could make.

Holding her face in my hand, I tilted it and leaned in to kiss her. She didn’t protest. It looked like she was going to keep her eyes open during it, so I kept mine open as well. Our lips met and it felt like the air was knocked out of me. Her lips were so soft and I tasted a bit of her. She’s so sweet. I looked up to ask her.

“How was that?”

“That was nice.”

I kissed her again, taking the pace slow. I put my hand on her back and gradually moved it down. I stopped at her ass to grab it lightly and I think I felt my cock twitch just now. As we shared another kiss, this time I lightly put my tongue in her mouth and brushed against hers. She stayed still at first but then she kissed me back, just the way her tongue moved said to me that she knows what she’s doing. My thoughts corrupted as I thought about my cock in her mouth. I imagined her tongue twirling around my head. I began to drool. Some of it spilled down her chin.

She pushed me up. I gasped a bit being separated from her lips.

“Ugh. You’re getting your drool everywhere.”

“Sorry.”

I wiped it off of my chin and hers. I then leaned back down to press my lips against hers again. I couldn’t get enough of her. She tasted so sweet. I grabbed and squeezed one of her breasts and then I pinched her nipple and rubbed it between my index finger and thumb. She gasped. She was so responsive to my touch. I moved my hand under her dress to play with her exposed nipple and she let out a soft moan. I stopped kissing her to see the look on her face. Her eyes stared back at me with a lusty gaze. I needed more of her right now.

I sat her in front of me with her legs draping over mine. My hand found its way between her thighs. It was so warm and when I rubbed her pussy through her underwear, I felt the wet fabric. I shivered. I kept thinking that I needed to be inside her right now. I swiftly slipped her panties off and lightly teased her opening, coating my fingers in her arousal. She was so wet and it was driving me fucking crazy. I moved up to her clit and began to rub it slowly. Her eyes widened and she let out a sultry moan. Fuck. That’s sexy.

I quickened the pace, making sure to rub every little spot on her clit. Her moans were more frequent and her breathing was heavier. It became hard for her to focus. I pressed the issue by leaning into her and kissing the nape of her neck. She was so warm and aroused. I loved seeing how submissive she became once I started pleasing her. She had little to no protests.

I moved my middle finger down to slowly slide inside of her. She yelped softly and it took everything I had not to take her right now. I wanted to bury my cock deep inside of her but you know she would never let you. I was a bit eager so I put my ring finger into her as well. Her walls were warm and soft and she was already so tight on my fingers. I was about to beg her for her pussy right now. Instead, I started fingering her at a leisurely pace. She clenched around my fingers and I felt her moan down my spine. I whispered in her ear.

“How does that feel?”

I faced her. She looked like she was in a daze. She was struggling to speak. I smirked. I had her exactly where I wanted her.

“What happened, brat? Nothing to say now?”

She tilted her head to look at me with scrutiny and I knew it wasn’t time for that yet.

“I didn’t mean that.”

We continued on and I used my other hand to rub her clit. Her moans were so loud and they provoked me. I pressed in different areas of her pussy looking for the perfect spot. Each time I had touched a new place, she moaned even louder. She was so sensitive and it excited me to no end.

We were face-to-face.

“Look at me.”

She tried to focus but she was too lost in the pleasure I was giving her.

I took my fingers out of her to snap them. We then made eye contact.

“Look. At. Me.”

She nodded and I put my fingers back in her. I was just about there. I pressed on that spot, what do they call it nowadays? I don’t know. Well, it’s the spot that evokes orgasms. I pinned the spot and her eyes widened.

“Sukuna…”

“What is it, princess?”

She gasped and she whined out.

“You’re so good.”

My heart stopped for a moment from her sweet comment. Fuck. What is she fucking doing to me?

I fingered the spot harder and rubbed her clit faster. The way her pussy sucked on my fingers alerted me that she was close. I had to see the look on her face once she cums. Then I would have won one of our little battles. I varied my movement to keep her engaged. I would switch from rubbing her clit up and down to rubbing it in circles. Then I would alternate from softly fingering that sensitive spot to playing with it roughly. The air was drowned in her moans and it was so satisfying to finally get her in my hands. This was the grand finale for her.

We made intense eye contact with each other. She was in ecstasy but she also looked a bit scared. She knew what was about to happen too. I wanted to establish a little bit of dominance right here.

“Say you’re sorry.”

“Huh?”

She didn’t hear me, she was too lost in the feeling.

“Say you’re sorry for being a brat.”

Her head perked up and she was a little confused. She looked a bit nervous and she seemed choked up. I touched her slowly and I gently smiled at her. She was struggling to speak.

“Or do you want me to stop?”

With a worried look on her face, she shook her head.

“Then say it.”

I gave her a cold and stern stare, and tears began to form in her eyes. I picked up the pace in my rhythm again, rubbing her clit agonizingly and fingering her pussy. I wanted to let her know this was just a preview of what I could do to her. I held her right there. I’d push her over the edge as soon as she says it.

“I’m… I’m…”

She stuttered but she was about to spit it out right now. Half a second before her orgasm hits, she bursts into tears and cried out loudly.

“I’M SORRY!”

She wails as her orgasm consumes her. I pulled her close to me and embraced her while she came. It started in her pussy and traveled in waves to the tips of her fingers and toes. She was shaking. She tried to catch her breath and I felt so fucking satisfied. I held her while she cried and whimpered. It must have been overwhelming for her.

I took a hold of her chin and tilted her head to give her a kiss on the lips.

“How was that? Has anyone ever touched you like that?”

She looked down, shy and embarrassed.

“Not like that...”

I gave her another kiss. Her eyes were still teary and I wiped the moisture from her cheeks. I wanted to take it further so badly but she looked exhausted.

“Are you going to bed now?”

I hoped she wouldn’t but she laid out on the futon.

“I think so.”

She yawned and squeezed one of the pillows tightly in her arms. I pet her head once then got up.

“Good night then.”

I walked away wondering if I should contact one of my concubines. I was dying for Aka’s touch but I wouldn’t get it and I desperately needed release. If she found out though, I might ruin the little bit she was giving me. Do I really have to jerk off tonight? Me? The King of Curses?

“Sukuna.”

She sat upright and her head was perked up, watching me leave. I turned to her in surprise.

“Yes?”

She wanted to say something but she was struggling. She looked a bit frustrated but then she shook her head.

“Good night.”

Drive a fucking stake through my heart why don’t you? I walked to my bedroom and laid out on my futon. My erection was poking through my kimono, trying to free itself. I rubbed my erection through my underwear and kimono and I thought of how soft her lips were. I let the garment drop to the floor and slipped my underwear off. I grabbed my cock and groaned, stroking it up and down. I closed my eyes and imagined her crawling over to me in her dainty dress. How she would look up at me with her hungry eyes. The face she would make as she slowly sits on my cock for the first time.

I stroked myself faster, focusing on the head for a bit and then going down the entire shaft. My breathing was heavier and I got closer and closer. I started to think that maybe I should have asked her for a hand or blow job. I knew releasing myself would leave me nowhere near being satisfied. I felt pathetic. I felt like I was stooping so low for some brat but just picturing her smiling at me steeled my resolve. In my thoughts, she asks me to cum inside of her. I think of coating her insides with it, her virgin pussy being filled up for the first time. I groan loudly and blow my load all over my thighs. I then picture her thanking me for fucking her and I breathe deeply, trying to catch my breath. My cock was still upright and unrelenting, aching for more. I knew this wouldn’t be enough. I sighed and went to clean myself up.

MIGRATING TO A NEW BLOG @baji-san

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter fifteen

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 1663

Monotonous.

That was the best word you could come up with to describe the past week. The days lulled on without change as you unfortunately pined after Levi, who still seemed to pay you no mind -- but today would be different. You had formed a hypothesis. It was lofty, optimistic guesswork with no actual backing, but it was a hypothesis nonetheless. If  you placed the right kind of pressure on Levi, then he would admit exactly what you wanted to hear. Your sadness about the situation, as melancholy typically does, had turned to spiteful anger; you needed to prove him wrong. Even if it amounted to nothing, even if you were left with sadness yet again.

"You want me to what?" Jean asked you in a whisper, face drawn up in disgust. You laughed at him before retraining your eyes on the back of Levi's head. His hair had been cut recently. It looked nice.

"Come on, Jean. It won't be that bad. It's just for a few days at most. I'll hate it just as much as you will. It's a game," you replied just as quietly. Despite his protests, you knew it wouldn't take too much convincing. He cared about you too much to tell you no. You gave him your most sincere puppy-dog eyes, watching the disgust on his face morph to a mix of disappointment and amusement. Score.

"I'll do it," he conceded, laying his forehead in his palm. You knew it wouldn't take much effort. Your plan, albeit a little childish, was what you had deemed a sure-fire experiment to test your hypothesis. Hange would be proud.

Levi, as careless as he may seem, irrefutably had anger as his foremost emotion. He was quick to it, and he wore it well. With such constant anger came many things: a gentle side well-contrasted by the rough exterior that ruled others' perception -- proven true; a likely mix of mood swings and impulsivity -- also relatively evident; and, most importantly, a tendency toward jealousy -- completely unproven but heavily suspected. You relied on that suspicion to make sense of the mixed signals he had given you.

You'd been considering it for days; after a while, you grew weary of being ignored. It beat down on you like a rain shower, leaving you to helplessly question the meanings of fleeting moments within the confines of the infirmary. Being unsure was decidedly the worst part. An explicit yes-or-no answer was annoyingly required to calm your racing mind -- accepting his words at face value was impossible.

You followed the outline of his jaw with your eyes as he spoke to Hange, who was sitting at his side. He always looked so well put together. You fantasized about his hair in disarray and his clothes hanging loose -- how he looked on the morning after the night you spent together. You had long grown past embarrassment; every self-pitying thought soon became validating as the nights in the infirmary consolidated into your definition of Levi. You were sure, entirely, that this newfound attitude towards you was all for show. Otherwise, how could someone so callous become so gentle?

His collected gaze was aimed anywhere that wasn't at you. Jean's stories of certain stolen glances when you weren't looking were enough to assure you that he wasn't as unbothered as he seemed. Sometimes you wished you could catch his eye just to send him a soft smile -- to remind him that the two of you weren't just unreasonably disliked acquaintances. You were almost tired of being mad at him; unfortunately for him, however, you were quick to anger, too.

When you were dismissed to training, you weren't slow to get up. You tossed your tray atop the stack of others and made your way out the door, other scouts surrounding you to form a crowd. Jean put his arm around you when you found yourself outside the door; but, instead of swinging it casually around your shoulders, he slid it snugly around your waist. You watched as he shook his head, eyes rolling so hard you were sure they'd come out of their sockets.

When you looked back, you swore for a moment that you met a pair of narrowed grey eyes.

---

The training exercise was your least favorite of them all: the insufferable wooden-titan practice you'd done a month or so before. You fell in line with the rest of your comrades, your gaze traveling to Levi's stance atop a tree branch. He was leading this exercise, and although it was better for your experiment, it was hard to ignore how hard he had been on you. Slack didn't seem to be in his vocabulary. You wanted to do well.

You all lied in wait for his go-ahead, your hands positioned over the triggers on your gear. It would be your first time using ODM again; luckily, legs weren't really necessary. You looked forward at the back of Bertholdt's head, knowing Jean stood a few feet behind you. Last time you finished -- third? Maybe second? You were confident you could do it again.

You saw Levi travel towards the middle of the group of trees for a better view. "Alright," he called, several yards away. "Go."

It only took a few seconds to realize you were rusty when you fell to the middle of the group. Jean had already passed you, along with Connie and Sasha. Nearly a month out of training had done more damage than you thought. You fought to stay ahead of the curve, your eyes failing you to glance at Levi's disappointed face. You made eye contact for a split second, your chest swelling against your will. A lift of his eyebrow forced your line of sight forward as you narrowly missed a tree branch. He scoffed, loud enough for you to hear him. How embarrassing.

Whether by luck or underestimation, you were surprised that several scouts remained in the exercise when you landed. Levi had moved towards the edge of the trees now, so you could still see him from your place in the grass. You wondered if he knew, and if he had glanced your way, too. Your plan relied on the fact that he had and would again.

You waltzed to where Jean stood, away from the others and sipping from his canteen. You slid your hand into his, fingers interlocking as he gagged playfully. "Your hands are sweaty," he said, discomfort clear in his tone.

You laughed, squeezing his hand. "Yours just feel greasy. Have you washed them recently?" The two of you continued joking back and forth as your eyes darted over your shoulder at Levi. You told yourself that acting as if you didn't even notice him would be the best way to go; it was difficult, though. You wanted to gauge every reaction as clearly as you could -- that's how experiments work, right?

You caught him staring for the very first time. When you met his eyes, his gaze did not falter. He simply lowered one eyebrow inconspicuously. You looked away as quickly as you could to hide the triumphant grin spreading across your face; he had seen, and he didn't look happy. The experiment, though, was not yet complete. You wanted more.

As the last few scouts landed, you and Jean took a seat, hands still interlocked in the clammiest, most uncomfortable form of physical affection you had experienced to date. To make matters worse, you decided to lay your head snugly in the slope from his neck to his shoulder. Of course, you and Jean were not strangers to physical affection, as most close friends weren't. Nonetheless, the connotation behind the prolonged hand-holding and casually romantic cuddling was uncomfortable at best. You were lucky he couldn't tell you no. Another strike of luck was that everyone was used to seeing the two of you close and comfortable, and it would be difficult to anyone not intently watching to notice a difference; were there any downsides to having a male best friend?

"Is he looking?" you whispered nudging Jean with your shoulder.

"I don't know," he whispered back, "I'm facing the same way as you."

You snorted. "No shit. Just look around. Don't make it obvious."

You felt his head turning, looking both ways out at the scouts that surrounded you. "Okay, yeah. He's looking. He didn't even look away when he saw me. He looks pissed."

You smiled. Your hypothesis was not far from being proven true; you just needed another push. "You're not going to want to do this," you told Jean, trying to hide the mischievous grin overtaking your face.

"I'm not doing it. No way."

"Jean, please!"

"Nope. Not happening."

"It'll only last a second," you said in the most convincing tone you could muster.

"This is a stupid plan," he answered, a sigh of concession building in his lungs. You had won, yet again.

"Just kiss me. Fuck, it's only once."

And so he did. He tasted like the disgusting soup you had eaten for lunch. It lasted only a couple of seconds, but you were subject to the time-slowing force that only came from ecstasy and torture. This time, it was the torture kind. When he pulled away, you forced a grin for show. Through your teeth, you said, "I think that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Ever."

He laughed, squeezing your hand. "It couldn't have been worse than what just happened to me. Remind me to wash out my mouth with soap later." You looked over your shoulder to see Levi still staring, his jaw set in anger. What could be more satisfying?

When you were all dismissed from the exercise, you were sure to walk slowly as you and Jean swung your conjoined hands back and forth. Surely real couples don't hold hands this long, you thought; this much sweat can't be comfortable. Before you saw him, you heard Levi's voice at your side.

"Get cleaned up and get to my office. I need a word with you."

Had it really been this easy the whole time?

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 4 (Waves)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, suggestive content, mentions of marking, angst (kinda maybe sort of?). Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written. Please let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note: So I’m trying to not make every story super depressing. At least for now. So I took a shot at some average fluff for Jihoon’s chapter. Let me know what you think! It’s a bit short, but I’ll edit it some more to juice it up when I have the free time.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

☁️

Lonely Together Masterlist

Chapter 4: Waves

You were still getting used to everything, which no one could blame you for. You weren’t used to being around humans let alone lovey happy couples all the time. It was all… disorienting to you. You understood why the rest of the pack acted the way they did with their mates, in a way you also felt some primal need to be the same with Jihoon. But it was just… quite a big adjustment for you.

It wasn’t bad by any means! You knew you’d get the hang of most of it eventually. But there were some things you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to. Like the constant PDA of the couples around you. You didn’t understand the need to be that close to someone all the time or need to be that handsy. You always wondered if maybe Jihoon wanted to be like that, but you never really had the courage to ask in case you wouldn’t like his answer.

You also knew you’d never really like the fact that the pack seemed to refer to you more as a mate than as a wolf. You grew up being a wolf above all else, you considered yourself a wolf first. Now, you were Jihoon’s mate. Just one of the girls. You ate with them, you hung out with them, and you were treated like them even though you were just as strong if not more so than most of the males. Soonyoung didn’t get treated that way even though he was technically Seungcheol’s mate. It seemed unfair. That thought seemed to leave a bitter metallic taste in your mouth, but you just dealt with it because that’s just how it was now.

And you knew you’d NEVER understand the need to give your partner sweet little gooey nicknames. I mean, who the hell decided it was an adorable idea to start calling the person they fuck baby? How the hell was that SUPPOSED to be cute? It was creepy to you. You could tell it visibly bothered Jihoon that you hadn’t called him anything other than his given name, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to call him by anything else. Every cutesy petname you could think of just felt… wrong to you. Sweetheart? Shit didn’t make sense. Hearts were NOT sweet. Sugar? He wasn’t composed of glucose or fructose so that wasn’t right. Prince? He wasn’t royalty, well, at least not that neither of you knew of. Daddy? Even creepier than baby. So you just opted to leave it at Jihoon.

As for you and Jihoon, you’d been doing alright. You were still rather shy around each other, but you were definitely more obvious in your affection with each other. For instance, at breakfast you always seemed to find yourself scooting your chair as close to his as you could manage. And he always made sure you were within his sight. You weren’t sure why. Where could you have possibly gone when you were stuck with a bunch of wolves? But it did make the chambers of your heart constrict extra whenever you noticed him trying to look for you. You had to admit, It was kinda cute.

There was still one problem. You two hadn’t… consummated your bond yet. You were still unmarked even though it had now been weeks of being in the same house together. He hadn’t even tried to sleep with you. It had you confused, shouldn’t he have wanted to have sex with you by now?

-

“Dude quit being a little bitch and just do it already!” Soonyoung groaned at his younger brother while he pinched the bridge of his nose.

You were currently outside learning how to play soccer with Somi, just far enough away to where you couldn’t hear what was going on inside. They were all watching you guys from the window. You felt someone staring at you so you looked up from the ball next to your feet towards the house. Your mate was eyeing you and had a fond smile flashing brightly at your from his spot. You gave him a sweet one back with a little wave added before you continued on with your fancy foot maneuvering past the younger girl and scored a goal, causing you to jet your hands in the air in celebration. God he loved you.

Jihoon looked away to sigh and he ran his shakey hand through his slick hair, “But how am I supposed to do that? You fuckers are here every second of everyday and she can hear everything that goes on the same as I can. You’re all way too distracting. If she’s anything like me-” He was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Which she is.” Mingyu stated with a giant grin on his face while crossing his arms over his chest.

“IF she’s anything like me, she doesn’t want you guys listening in or around when we’re going at it. She’s too private for that” Jihoon emphasized, trying his best to contain his annoyance at the taller boy for his smugness, “Plus, you’re all too lovey with each other, it makes us both awkward and uncomfortable.” He admitted.

Joshua laughed and slapped his hands on his knees where he was sitting down at the table, “So you’re telling me that WE make YOU GUYS uncomfortable? Have you ever even been in the same room with yourself? You’re both ridiculously intimidating to the girls because you’re so quiet. WE know it’s because you’re just shy. But THEY all think you’re some sort of psycho killer dude!”

“Yeah if looks could kill, we’d all have been long dead by now!” Snorted Wonwoo, who had his arm wrapped around his mate possessively.

Jihoon raised his chest out defiantly, slightly annoyed at his pack mates for making fun of his cold exterior, “Yeah? Well at least I can keep my hands off my mate for more than a split second!”

He never really understood the need to keep partners away from other people. That is, until the other day when Chan had accidentally brushed up against your front while trying to reach for a plate. He all but chewed him up and spit him out for it, though you didn’t know that as he did it once you had gone up to bed. He couldn’t help it. His inner wolf just snapped at the poor kid. Though looking back, he’d still do it again. No one should be touching you but him.

“Not for long. You’re getting soft. You’re laughing more at the things she says, you’re joining us on errands more because she goes with, you’re getting more and more protective over her because she’s not marked and you don’t want anyone taking her away from you” Mingyu proudly spoke up much to Jihoon’s shock. He happy that he had taken the smaller wolf off guard with his statement, “You’re getting just as whipped man. You want my advice?” He asked, seeming pretty genuine with his question.

Jihoon nodded at him. Mingyu was surprisingly one of the few who could actually keep a few feet’s distance from his mate. Out of everyone in the pack, he would’ve DEFINITELY expected him to be the one most likely to be attached to his lovers side. But he when he found his mate, he didn’t get possessive over her at all. He just let her do her own thing with relative freedom. He figured he must have had some sort of secret behind being able to control himself and, for your sake, Jihoon figured he should take any help he could get before he got bad.

“Mark her as soon as you can. It helps. You wont get as jealous, at least around us, because we’ll smell you on her.” He shrugged towards his elder, quickly going over and kissing the top of his mates head who was sitting on the ground braiding Josh’s mates hair.

The thought of marking you sent a weird feeling through Jihoon’s veins. He WANTED to. But the real question was, would you LET him? “I don’t know. It could help I guess. But again, you bitches are always here and if I EVER want to do anything with her, you assholes can’t be anywhere near or she’ll refuse.”

“Okay okay! What if we were to all go visit Taeyong’s pack later? Then would you get the stick out of your ass and just fucking get it over with?” Seungcheol interjected with a heavy chuckle.

He was just as glad that his younger brother found you as everyone else. He really needed you in his life, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So he knew he had to help him figure out how to finally make things ‘official’ with you.

Jihoon thought for a moment. There didn’t seem to be a reason why that couldn’t work. He’d just have to make sure you knew to stay behind which, considering how touchy feely the others were, you’d probably be more than happy with that, “That’s….. actually a good idea.”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock. That’s why he suggested it” sneered Jeonghan. Jihoon sent him a small warning growl before Hannie went and collected the other mates and boys to tell them the new plan for the day.

He couldn’t lie, he was super fucking nervous. Other than that day you found out you two were mates, he hadn’t been left alone with you. At least not completely. There was always someone how because of how many people that lived in the house. He didn’t have much experience with girls. He had more experience than you did, but he was still trying to grasp the whole ‘mating’ thing. He didn’t know where to even start. He couldn’t just go up to you and go “hey I need to mark you or I’m gonna go crazy so we need to fuck like rabbits.” I mean, what kind of loser did that? He had to start thinking of a more subtle approach.

And, as if on cue, in came you and Somi from outside after Jeonghan had called for you both from outside. Your cheeks were a bit flushed from being in the sun and your hair that was once put up in a neat ponytail was now falling out in locks towards the rest of your face. You had grass stains on your knees and you had a bit of dirt on your forehead. You looked like you had gotten into a fight with the ground when in all reality, it was just your first time playing a child’s game.

“So, we’re going somewhere?” Somi ran up and kissed Chan on the cheek before he cuddled her in his arms.

“Yeah. WE are. THEY’RE staying here.” He let a playful grin plaster on his face as he pointed at your and your mate.

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, “We are? Why’s that?”

Chan gulped down his dry throat and shifted his eyes towards Jihoon, who was now staring daggers into him, “Oh… um- well… because…”

“Because we’re gonna be doing coupley shit over at Taeyong’s today and Jihoon said you wouldn’t want to watch us make out.” His sentence was quickly interrupted by the oldest alpha, much to your mate’s relief as his answer seemed to satisfy you.

“Ew yeah no. I’ll stay here that sounds gross,” you shook your head and scrunched up your nose in disgust, “Though I think I’ll take a shower. I feel almost as gross as you all are together.” You chuckled as you mad your way up the stairs and to the bathroom.

-

A little while later after everyone had got themselves together and understood why they suddenly had to leave, they began to head towards the door to depart. You were now upstairs in your bedroom, a towel tightly wrapped around your body and hair as you read a book to work on your Korean. You were pretty good with the actual speaking portion of the language, minus your accent of course, but you were still having a bit of trouble with the spelling and reading. And since it was the native language of most of the people who lived in the house, you figured it was best you study up on it a bit more to become more fluent.

Before you knew it, the others had left. You began focusing on a page of plural ways of speech and were brought out of your gaze by a soft voice near the doorway of your bedroom, “How’s the studying coming along?”

“It’s going about as well as dealing with humans after centuries of avoiding them.” You figured, putting your book down on the bedside table and looking at your mate who was now moving to sit at the end of your bed.

“That bad huh?” He joked while bringing his hand to touch your naked thigh. It brought a light pink blush to your cheeks, but you did your best to avoid it as much as possible and continued the conversation.

You shrugged the heat one your face away, “It comes and goes in Waves. Besides, It could be worse”

“And how’s that?” Jihoon questioned, giving you a tilted head in response.

“I could have had to go watch all the other suck face all day with another pack.” You laughed in amusement at your own joke.

Jihoon hesitated for a moment before he responded, “Well… yeah… about that…” he trailed in an effort to avoid the situation.

“What about it?”

“Wellllll….” He took a deep breath in so he could finish his sentence, “They decided to leave for me- well for us- so we could… have some time alone together…” he brought his newly hot face down to look at his lap so he didn’t have to look you in the eyes as he spoke.

“Alone time?” You bit your lip to hold back a knowing grin. You knew exactly what he was trying to say. But you really wanted to HEAR him say the words. Half to confirm your suspicions, half so that he would squirm a bit.

“Uh yeah. Alone time…” he started to pick at his nails to distract himself. He had never really been this nervous before. Why was he even nervous? You were his mate. It’s not like you’d have an issue with it all… right?

Your pulse was starting to race. The thought of what could happen was heating your body up to the point of concern. You weren’t sure why you were reacting this way, maybe it was because he was your mate, maybe it was because now you could go into heat, you didn’t know. But you did know that if he was going where you thought he was going with his sentence, you’d definitely not be complaining.

You gave him a wondering look, “What do you mean by alone time?” You faked innocence in your question, playing with the edge of the towel wrapped around your body.

He groaned in frustration and threw himself to the bed, landing on his back with a light thud while his hands found their way to his face, “They all left so I could mark you okay?? I knew you wouldn’t want to do anything like that with them here. But I knew I needed to do it soon so that my jealousy wouldn’t get the best of me. So Cheol agreed to have everyone leave for the day so we could just-get it over with” He sighed out, hands still covering his eyes so he could ignore your no doubt astonished face.

But instead, you found yourself straddling him in your easily droppable attire. His hands automatically sent themselves down to hold your hips once his body realized what was happening.

“You know, you could’ve just said that to begin with you know” you seductively let out. His face was absolutely stunned at your sudden behavior change. What actual fucking alien world had he stepped in when he came into your shared room?

(Updated 9/16)

[sadclearance]

could u do male reader's been friends with todoroki from mha for since ua (they're newly pros now) and tells him ily and is like ik ur not good with that stuff tho so it's no big! i don't expect an ily back! and todoroki's like :O and doesn't say it back but later when reader's hurt during a mission todoroki's like oh dang i do love u but it's too late cuz he died

pairing: shoto todoroki x male!reader

summary: todoroki says "i love you" back eventually. it just happens to be too late.

category: angst

warning(s): death

word count: 1649

key:

s/t - skin tone

italicized - text

he's not sure how he got to this exact moment.

if you had told him at the beginning of his high school years that not even just a year after graduating, he'd be running around a deserted parking lot with the cold breeze of the night air nipping at the skin that wasn't covered by his pajamas--which happen to be from a two-years-old matching christmas set with the person he's trying to catch--todoroki would've looked at you as if you were a lunatic.

never in his wildest dreams could he ever imagine this.

but he thinks this is part of what being friends is, and back then, he never would've dreamt of having one of those either.

he doesn't notice the warm breath right next to his ear until a steady voices says, loud and clear, "i love you."

he turns his head so fast his face almost smacks into y/n's, and y/n laughs out visible puffs in the crisp air.

todoroki doesn't even speak. he just stares with wide eyes, not knowing what to do.

this is all just too new to him, and this came out of absolutely nowhere.

"glad that got your attention," y/n smiles when the silence continues. "you were so lost in your thoughts you just stopped moving. i was starting to think you didn't want your phone back."

todoroki now remembers the reason why he was chasing his best friend of four years around an empty parking lot at this ungodly hour, where half of his body was uncomfortably cold.

he does want his phone back, but he doesn't go back to running.

"was that why you said that?" todoroki eventually asks. was it only for the surprise factor? because if so, he's both relieved and disappointed--two things that he recognizes as contradictory and doesn't understand. well, todoroki's never been too good at understanding feelings, so that's not really news.

"nope," y/n answers without skipping a beat, and if todoroki didn't know better, he'd think y/n wasn't nervous at all. the s/t fingers playing with the edge of todoroki's phone case lets him know otherwise. "don't take it too seriously, though. i get it."

get what?

that answer doesn't make todoroki happy at all. now his brain's just muddled and confused, and he can barely process his surroundings. what's he supposed to make of that interaction? don't take it too seriously? he gets it?

when y/n's ran a lap or two without todoroki making a move to get his phone back, he lies down on the floor.

todoroki settles on "you're going to get dirty" because he wants to get back to the present. his head hurts, and thinking isn't getting him anywhere right now.

"come look at the stars with me," y/n reaches his hand up toward the skies, and he looks ridiculous, but todoroki complies because he wants to enjoy the time they have together for as long as he can. they won't have time to see each other for a while, being busy growing heroes and all. 

"is this considered stargazing?"

"we're gazing at the stars, so yeah, i'd say so," y/n jokes.

and now todoroki's out of things to say that aren't questions about y/n's confession.

y/n turns his head to look at todoroki, and todoroki instinctively does the same.

"you're taking that thing i told you not to take seriously seriously, aren't you?"

"i'm having trouble understanding everything you've said in the past few minutes," todoroki admits, turning his head back to face the stars again.

"okay, well, i love you," y/n says.

"you've said that, but--"

"but i don't want you to take it seriously because i get it."

"again, you've said that in almost those exact words." todoroki feels like a frustrated child who's getting cranky over a math problem he doesn't know how to solve.

"i love you in the way that i want to kiss you and go on dates with you and maybe do more stuff," y/n's face reddens at his own words, but his voice is firm.

todoroki's eyes go back to y/n's, and he opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

"i know you don't see me that way, and it's all good. i didn't expect anything in return. i just wanted to say it."

"i... i wish i could give you a response, but... you already know that..." todoroki struggles with his words. were these the right ones to say? which are supposed to come out next?

"that you're not good with people stuff. yeah, i remember the first year of me trying to court you into this friendship," y/n laughs.

todoroki wants to laugh while reminiscing the memories too, but he doesn't feel like doing so, especially with how he's pretty sure he just rejected his best friend.

"i told you, no expectations here. just wanted to get that off my chest." y/n rises from the floor and todoroki's eyes follow. "c'mon, we should get going. it's cold, and our schedules are packed for the week. we can't afford to be getting sick."

"yes, it is late," todoroki nods and gets up as well.

the car beeps to signal that the doors are open, and todoroki's about to get into the driver's seat when he sees y/n walking off somewhere else.

"y/n?" todoroki calls out.

"i'm gonna take the bus," y/n answers before todoroki even asks.

"they aren't running at this hour."

"my place is close. i'm gonna walk."

"but--"

"text me if your schedule clears at all!" y/n waves without turning around to face todoroki.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

it's been a week, and todoroki still feels the pressure of having to give a proper response.

y/n said it was fine, but even someone with as little experience with these types of things as todoroki recognizes that it's not kind.

i haven't thought about--

i've never kissed anyone--

human relationships--familial, romantic, platonic, and otherwise are all things that are new to me--

no matter what he types, he feels like the words are all wrong. what's in his drafts are all things that y/n already knows. that's why he said he "gets it".

but todoroki's still so frustrated. he wants to respond properly. he feels like it's only right.

but holy shit is it hard to come up with anything at all.

before he can come up with another poorly worded apology, excuse--whatever it is that he's trying to say--he gets a notification.

assistance required in x prefecture. requesting all available heroes.

todoroki, being the good hero he is, rushes to the sight as soon as possible.

he recognizes the name of the location, but he brushes it off as past experience. after all, within the past year, due to his rising popularity, he's had a lot of opportunities to work in different places.

"what's the situation?" todoroki asks one of the heroes that's trying to stabilize the building that the villain appeared to be in.

"one guy with a geokinesis quirk. he's alone, but his quirk's pretty strong. took out the whole village one town over. we don't know his goal, but the whole building's stone, and we don't want to take any chances."

"is there any way you would like me to help?"

"i'd say ice the whole building, but this guy's got quick reflexes. try going in discretely and trap him in ice when he's caught in surprise."

todoroki nods and is about to enter the building when

"also, try not to ice the other hero in there. i think his name's y/--"

the building crumbles at an incredible speed, and he barely has time to throw both himself and the other hero out of the way.

once the other man is stable, todoroki goes to assess the damage. the rocks are still tumbling down, but they're slower now.

they feel a lot faster when todoroki catches a glimpse of an all too familiar hero costume.

"y/n!" todoroki shouts as he loses the ability to think rationally. he runs with his heart in his throat and a terrible tense feeling that starts to overwhelm his entire body, trying to reach y/n before the large boulder does.

ice spreads from his feet and meets with the chunk of stone before it can fall on y/n's head.

"i'm going to get you out of here," todoroki promises when he makes it to y/n. he calls for help while looking over the pieces of the building on top of y/n's body.

"todoroki," y/n coughs weakly, and todoroki notices a pool of red slowly start to grow on the concrete below them.

"don't talk." todoroki's voice sounds so weak and helpless, and he hates it.

y/n just smiles, but the blood dripping from the corners of his mouth keep it from spreading warmth and happiness within todoroki like it usually does.

todoroki's already seen lots of tragedy in his one year of hero work, but he's never felt so panicked in his entire life.

he tries to shift a rock, but it only makes y/n groan.

"help!" todoroki yells again, but everyone's too preoccupied with catching the villain and tending to their own serious injuries to come and rescue y/n.

"shhh, todoroki," y/n says weakly.

"don't talk!" todoroki yells this time. it's still helpless, but it's loud, and y/n starts to laugh to the best of his ability.

"hard when... when you're just so funny. that's why... i..."

"don't close your eyes." todoroki feels like his heart's stopped.

"i..." y/n's eyes droop.

"look at me!" todoroki shouts with wild eyes.

and so he does. y/n looks at him with tired eyes, but todoroki can tell that he's straining himself to do so.

"i love you," todoroki's eyes feel heavy and his nose burns. "please... i love you, too..."

but it's too late.

the open eyes are quick to lose their life, and y/n's skin loses its color.

"i love you."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

deadass i was listening to my discover weekly on spotify and when i was writing the last few sentences i love you by wavves came on

i didn't know what to title it so i just left it

i hope it was satisfactory anon!

[willgrahymn]

Crushing Fear

wow can you believe I’m posting one of my fics on tumblr? me neither.

Tags: prinxiety, love confessions, some point close after FWSA, flower language, some swearing, and light angst but mostly fluff (oh and I throw shade at Janus).

Summary: Virgil didn't even remember how long he had spent repressing his dumb crush, but with Thomas falling in love, it felt harder to ignore the feelings welling up in his chest. All he knew was that he couldn't admit it out loud. Luckily for him, Roman was a romantic who couldn't stand to let a chance at love go uninvited, even if he didn't always feel deserving of it. 

Word count: 3334

I’ll reblog with ao3 link since I know tumblr is dumb about it :)

There were a lot of things Virgil loved about Roman. He loved the way Roman would push back his hair whenever he caught a glimpse of himself or felt nervous and he loved the way it always fell in his face again. He loved the way his eyes lit up when Virgil asked about a show or a musical he knew the prince liked. To be honest, it was hard to think of something he didn't love. Even things he once thought were annoying had become endearing to him.

It didn’t matter. He had a reputation to at least try to maintain, he’d already gone so damn soft around the others since the light sides and Thomas came to get him back and Roman made that sweet little speech in the darkness of his room.

“You make us better.” It was like a song he played on repeat. At the time, Roman was the last person he expected to convince him that this could be his home – his family – but somehow he did. He may have been a jerk early on, but maybe, Virgil thought, he really was a knight in shining armor. Roman was more like him than he once thought; using fake confidence to cover up insecurities was nothing new.

And now, years later, here he was lying in bed like a yearning gay fool with music that wasn’t loud enough to block out his thoughts. He figured his little crush would be something that he could just hide away until it wasn’t even there. That plan was failing horribly though, especially when Roman could steal his breath by just looking at him. He didn't know how to handle feelings that felt bigger than himself.

Would it be smart to try something now? Probably not. What would he even do? Roman always talked of big, grand gestures that could literally and figuratively sweep one off their feet. Virgil didn’t consider himself good at plenty of things, and wooing someone like he was in a movie happened to be on the list. The farthest he'd gotten with confrontation was making Thomas talk to Nico, all because he couldn't stand to see Roman so heartbroken. He could feel the darkness below his eyes lighten to that embarrassingly glittery purple at the memory of how proud Roman was.

But Roman was Creativity and had his own little kingdom in the imagination. Virgil was sure that if he wanted a boyfriend he could just make the man of his dreams who would do anything and everything for him without the slightest hesitation. It seemed existence wasn’t fair like that.

He could just barely hear a knock sounding at the door, Virgil's eyes immediately darting over to where the sound had come. He debated whether or not he should respond. It wasn’t as if he didn’t like his friends, but his same old avoidant tendencies from before never went away.

“Virgil?” Roman asked. His voice making Virgil freeze and want to melt away at the same time. “Are you awake?”

Fuck, shit, some other words Patton would disapprove of. What time was it? 1:30? He couldn’t blame Roman for assuming he was still out, especially since it was the truth not too long ago. He almost felt sorry for his sleep schedule, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. No matter how hard Logan tried to help he always found himself digging through the kitchen at 5 in the morning, and not because he was an early riser. He paused his music, hanging his headphones on his headboard. Listening to Sally’s Song for the 17th time could wait for later.

He heard Roman laugh, and it felt like roses.

“That’s alright. If anyone here knows anything about beauty sleep, it’s me. The glasses gays are insisting that I awaken the beast though, so you better at least have something on before I barge in.”

Virgil wasn’t sure if Roman was talking to himself or knew he was being heard. He just burrowed deeper under his covers. He didn't want Roman to find him awake and think he was ignoring him, even if it was kind of the truth.

The door creaked. It sounded like something from a shitty horror movie. The heavy footsteps didn’t make it any more calming either. Roman was never this quiet. He refused to open his eyes, even as his blanket was pulled away from his face. He couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath as he felt cool air shock his skin.

“Awh, c’mon! I’m the actor here. Your eyes were closed too tight, for one thing,”

Virgil sighed, opening his eyes and squinting at the light. “I thought you were here to wake me up, not give me acting lessons.”

“Good morning to you too, Mourning Glory. It’s not my fault if you want to hide away all day, I’m just giving tips on being more realistic.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, biting the inside of his lip to resist smiling. Wanting to stay calm as if he knew what he was doing.

“You’ve teased me about being a vampire before. Can’t I play the part?”

“Oh, trust me, you’re perfect for the role. Sadly for you, there are two very insistent Sides saying you have to be a real functioning part of the mind, so unless you want me to carry you out there and make a whole scene, you better come down on your own.”

Virgil sighed, rolling onto his back as his eyes adjusted to the light. The two stared at each other. Testing each other. Not getting out of bed never sounded more tempting.

He gave in, rambling. “Sure, okay, whatever.” He sighed, reaching out and taking hold of Roman’s hand, letting the prince pull him upright. Whether it was he or Roman who ended up bringing them so close was something he could stay up late thinking about later. Now wasn’t the time to focus on rough palms or scarred skin that he once bandaged up while cursing out the ever-so-reckless Roman for sneaking out on quests, leaving Virgil to hunt him down with nothing but adrenaline and a certain level of knowingness in his dread.

He tried to bite back a yawn. His eyes widening at the warm feeling of a hand pressed to his face, of a thumb brushing lightly over his cheekbone. It wasn’t unwelcome, to be honest, he could probably fall back asleep just like this. He’d be okay waking up every morning if they were like this. If the romantic side offered it. If Virgil would allow himself to accept and experience it.

“How long have you been up?”

“Anywhere between 20 minutes to 2 hours. I don’t really know.”

Roman smiled, betraying the worried look in his eyes. It was probably just the effect of his room, that’s what Virgil hoped it was anyway. He tried not to show any disappointment when Roman’s hand fell to the bed.

“I’ll be down in a few,” Virgil continued, “just let me take care of my makeup first.”

Roman’s eyes trailed him as he got up and moved over towards his desk in the corner of the room, flicking on the light as he went by. Why is he fucking staring?

“While I’m here, I was wondering if you’d care to join me for a quest this evening? Or maybe we could throw a ball for the mind palace? I know it’s not your thing, but I thought it might be fun? Or y’know, something else more low-key.”

“Uh, yeah you know I’m not big on big things,” Virgil replied, looking over to the prince picking at a loose thread on the cuffs of his sleeves. “You know if you want to hang out you can just ask, you don't need some extravagant event going on to get me alone with you.”

Roman nodded, not seeming any calmer than before. Virgil's brows furrowed, worries flowed through him as if it were his blood. He didn't want to make Roman talk if he didn't want to, but god was it nerve-racking.

At the very least, it seemed like he wouldn't be putting on any more black eyeshadow to try and hide its changes.

Roman, on the other hand, decided not to question why the Side no longer seemed interested in putting his makeup on, and being grateful for the fact Virgil took advantage of the fact they could conjure themselves into different outfits rather than changing right then and there.

The two stayed there, an awkward silence taking over the room before a crash sounded from the living room.

“We should probably go.”

Virgil simply nodded, pulling his jacket tighter around as he followed Roman out of the room.

Luckily, the crash had only come from Patton knocking over a stack of DVDs, CDs, and a few other things. Another lost-glasses incident. It was a miracle nothing got broken.

The day itself would have felt completely normal if not for the fact Roman kept looking at him. Starting off as unsure as they did in his room, and slowly brightening like he had finally figured out a plothole in one of his stories. It was even more unsettling when he realized Roman was no longer there, vanished off to do god knows what.

So Virgil spent the next couple of hours trying to ignore the feeling of his fears eating him from the inside out like a moth to a sweater. He wouldn’t mind the holes if they didn’t leave him so uncomfortable. But then again, maybe that was fitting for his aesthetic. Torn-up shirts and jeans to pair with his torn-up emotions. At least he found solace in the darkness of his outfits.

It didn’t take long to get bored of the mundane mind palace.

Maybe I should take Roman up on that quest idea. He thought, his foot bounced, hanging over the side of the couch. Even if it wasn’t in his list of Shit Virgil Can Do Without Fucking Up, it was better than sitting around and waiting for nothing.

Virgil got up silently, giving a quick two-finger salute to Logan who had started reading some new detective novel before he sunk out. Appearing again before Roman’s door. Maybe he was just self-conscious, but it looked bigger than it was. Like behind it would be some hidden treasure that he finally reached.

It wasn’t entirely wrong. Roman was certainly someone to be treasured, even if he made mistakes. He just wished the other Sides would help him understand it.

He held his breath as he knocked, jolting back when it swung open almost instantly.

“You’re here!” Roman exclaimed, bouncing on his heels.

“Uh, yeah. I thought I’d take you up on your offer from earlier… if it’s still up, anyway.”

“Oh! Yeah, totally!” The prince tugged at his collar, not making eye contact. Virgil couldn’t help but smile slightly at the prince's giddiness. “I was just working on something if you’d care to see it?”

“You know I wanna see whatever you come up with, even if it’s some rewrite of Frozen.”

Roman bounced again, holding his hands out, palms up. He looked at Virgil with an emotion he couldn’t name, but it made him feel anxious in a good kind of way. Not anything like the dread he was used to. He placed his hands on Roman’s, and it wasn’t till they were sinking out and into the imagination that he realized it was the same kind of feeling from when Nico first texted Thomas about meeting up again. He held Roman’s hands a little tighter.

When he opened his eyes, they were surrounded by flowers.

“Woah…”

“Do you like it? I had to sneak into Logan’s room and borrow a few of his books.”

“I– yeah. It’s beautiful. And don’t worry, I won’t snitch.” He stepped away, wandering the circular little garden. He could only recognize so many. “Didn’t know you had a thing for landscaping.”

“I try my best. Honestly, I’m just happy neither of us has allergies.”

“Gosh, you’re such a dork.” Virgil laughed, petting the petals of a rose. Not paying attention to the way Roman watched him and shifted his weight every so often nor how warm his cheeks had become. “Do you know what any of them mean?”

“I do, but I think if I tell you, you’ll realize how predictable I am.”

“Go for it.”

“Well, roses are pretty well known. The red ones are anyway. Love, passion, romance, and courage. Things like that.” Roman said, walking closer. His boots clicking against the walkway’s pavement.

He stood close by yet just far enough for Virgil not to feel like he was being dissected under his gaze. It was an unreasonable thing to think after all the time they had spent becoming friends, he knew that. Yet part of him continued to scream that one day Roman would look at him and find out how horrible he thought himself to be and never want to be around him again. Maybe that was why he refused to confess just how much he liked Roman. It was a weight that crushed his chest every day yet made him feel dizzyingly light.

It was all too complicated.

“What about the purple ones?”

“It kind of varies by shade, but most of the time it’s about love at first sight or enchantment. A lot of the flowers here have to do with that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, should’ve been able to figure that one out myself.”

Roman shrugged. “It’s no matter, I just want to make sure you understand what they mean.” He looked to Virgil, again with that unnamed emotion. “You do get what I’m trying to say, right?”

For a moment, he hoped he did.

“Uh, yeah? Princey, I get it, you’re a hopeless romantic. You don’t have to spell it out for me.” He bit the inside of his lip, then asked. “What are they for?”

Roman looked at him with what he could only see as sympathy.

“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I really do think you need it spelled out.”

Virgil scoffed, going to argue before he was cut off.

“First,” Roman began, reaching for Virgil’s hand, “You take him by the hand. That’s as far as you got before we both started screaming, anyway. So I suppose I’ll just have to wing it from here. I know I haven’t always been the best to you. I know I still make mistakes, and I really don’t want this to be one of them.”

“Roman–”

“I’m not finished. Virgil, out of all the other’s, you’re always the one who notices when I’m upset. You’re always the one who lets me bitch about Deceit without saying I was wrong for trusting him and then wrong for not. Really, you’re the only one I can bitch about the dark sides to, period. Logan is so reserved about it, and Patton is, well, he’s Patton. He tries to see the good in everyone.”

Roman paused, catching his breath. Virgil thought it best not to speak. He didn’t think he’d even be able to if he wanted.

“What I’m getting is that I trust you. I trust you because you’re my best friend and you listen to what I say even if it’s dumb. Because when I don’t feel like talking you're always down to just watch classic Disney movies and fill in coloring books. I know you don't realize it, but you do a hell of a lot more good than you believe, and I love you for that. You don’t have to say it back or even feel the same, I know you’re pretty reluctant about it. I just need you to know.”

Virgil stared at him, frozen like a deer caught in the headlights of love. Roman had said ‘I love you’ before, but not like this. What the fuck do you even do when your crush confesses they like you, more so, that you aren’t obligated to like them back? Complicated, and now surreal.

“You really mean it? All of it??”

“Of course I do, my Columbine Cutie! I could never lie to someone about love, I hope you know that.” Roman replied. Waving his hand as he conjured a mix of red and purple columbines, tucking them gently behind Virgil’s ear. Both knowing it was the truth, that Roman wouldn’t subject someone to such a thing because he knew how it felt.

But he still trusted Virgil with his love all the same. Trusted that it wouldn’t be taken advantage of or used against him.

“How long have you known?”

“You know, I think I fell for you far before I knew it.”

Virgil huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I uh… I think it was the same for me. Falling for you, that is.” God, it felt so weird to say it. Good, too. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to say. I never thought I’d end up here. I care about you too. I love you, I mean.”

And Roman… Roman just started to beam, shining like the sun as Virgil tripped over his words. He bounced, hands waving as he did. Despite his lingering fear, Virgil couldn’t stop the excitement Roman radiated and the wonder of it all from seeping in under his skin, a feeling like vibrations that he could only try to shake out. And there were hands cupping his face and there were words he didn’t hear. He still knew what they asked. “Fucking yes.” was all he could bring himself to give as a response before Roman’s lips were on his.

Strawberry chapstick and the faint scent of cherry blossom perfume were all that went through his head, it was the only thing that really could. He held onto Roman’s uniform like if he let go it would all disappear. Another dream reminding him of what he thought he couldn’t have.

When Roman pulled away and Virgil opened his eyes, he was still there.

He was real. Everything that had happened was real. He couldn’t help but giggle at how fantastical it was.

Roman brushed his bangs away, just enough to fully show his eyes. “Your eyeshadow changed again,” he announced, bouncing on his heels once again. Virgil groaned, turning away. “It’s a good look for you. Especially with how much you blush, my Lavender Love.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s adorable.”

Virgil knew from the grin on Roman’s face that it had only intensified.

“Whatever. I just– for what it’s worth– I appreciate it. All of this. I’d probably die never telling you shit about how I felt if you didn’t do it first.”

Roman softened, “Maybe, or maybe you’d end up pushing yourself like you did to Thomas. Either way, I’m happy with it if you are.”

Virgil nodded, the two going silent. Roman rocked back and forth still quietly bouncing, probably thinking of what to say next.

Slowly, Virgil opened his arms, smiling nervously to his crush– lover– whatever they were. He wasn’t all that open to touch, but Roman was so far off from everything else it didn’t matter. The prince smiled, pulling Virgil close to him and pressing a kiss to his magenta-colored hair.

“I’m happy to be your knight as long as you want me to be. Whatever it is that gets thrown our way, I’ll fight for you as you have for me. You deserve to shine every day like you are now.”

“Jesus, Princey. You already made your dramatic love declaration, but... thank you. I want you to be happy too.”

The two held each other, and for the moment, everything was okay. No dark sides, no fear, no challenging life debates. It was unescapable, of course, but it didn’t matter. They could survive and fight this hell of a world. They could make the other realize how lovable they were. Because they had each other.

[rpbetter]

Hi! How do you distinguish between a mun who has favorites but still treats their non favorites with respect, and a mun who has favorites but uses this as an excuse to disrespect everyone else? Sometimes it's hard for me to tell, and I'd love to hear what you think.

Hey, Anon! That's actually a great question.

It's also totally reasonable to have a hard time telling. When you feel like you might be a little more into the threads than the other mun is, no matter how much they're being respectful and caring, it can still feel a bit...lame. We all want to be a favorite writing partner, even as we know that's impossible, that we can't manage that ourselves. It's not a thing of logic!

I feel like I should probably preface the detailing I'm about to do - this is only my experience. There are always variables in anything dealing with other people, and any time we're already feeling down, it's really easy to see things in a way that might not be the reality.

Alright, then.

Muns who use this as an excuse or justification for what they're doing tend to be the ones that:

are likely to pair the excuse/justification with aggressively vilifying anyone who takes issue with their treatment of them for being too serious about RP/too emotionally invested in anything from friendships to ships/otherwise "not realizing it's just a hobby" - apparently, "hobby" actually means "you're not making a dollar, so, do whatever you want in whatever way you want, so long as it's making you and only you happy and comfortable," who knew?

will lead muns on, either because they're uncomfortable with telling those who are not the favorites that...well, they're not the favorites and they might wish to just drop the threads or because...

they have a bit of a habit of going through favorites/their favorites take frequent breaks or are slower to reply, and it's good to have other muns around for when either situation happens - it's okay if everyone else is bored and/or left out, but not them

become angry and defensive if you ask them about your thread(s) and/or if everything is alright after a reasonable period of inactivity only on your threads*

if they previously had OOC contact and/or a friendship with you, it's one pole or another of OOC behavior with you now - no contact/as little as they can possibly manage or they'll proceed like you also only want to have conversations about what is going on with the favorite(s), the ships, the threads, the fandom, the mun. Before anyone misconstrues this to mean that "so, no matter what they do it's sus lol," no. There is such a thing as neither insulting someone by having nothing else to talk about except the mun/muse/ship you're ignoring them for nor just stopping/avoiding conversation altogether. It's actually not normal or acceptable to treat people like disposable fixations or expect them to be thrilled or lie about it when you can't shut up about their replacement(s)

in general, if this mun just keeps making it apparent that neither you nor anyone else exists unless they're the favored mun? That's really it. That's the difference between having favorites and still treating other muns with respect - there isn't any respect, none of you exist to respect

*I'm not going to speak to what is reasonable to everyone, it's one of those things I think muns should mention to some degree in their rules, but with people taking it to mean things it doesn't, it's doubtful that's going to happen. (I encourage it, though, please, put in your rules when you'll ask about threads or if you'll assume there is no more interest and they've been dropped. "After one month of no reply and no OOC contact, I will either contact you to ask if you're still interested." No big deal!) For me, it would depend on the mun themselves, even if I've got in my rules that after x time, I will assume y. If this is a mun that has updated OOC that they're extra slow right now, and they're usually pretty slow, I'm going to just see that as them prioritizing preferred partners with what little time they have, that's not coming across as rude favoritism to me at that point. If it's a mun that has continued to reply as normal, posted no updates OOC, and they're specifically just replying to one or two favorites with that regular timing, I'm going to ask if they're still interested after a month or so.

The problem always is that, despite what the RPC likes to say for the same damn reason, we're all afraid to be acting on ridiculous suspicion and paranoia. We get treated a certain way, maybe it is once and it was just extremely bad, maybe it has happened over and over again, and we really do start seeing phantoms of ill-treatment. It becomes difficult to trust your own judgment and listen to your inner voice (one that, furthermore, is already at least a bit embattled by life on and offline).

These are only some points to help you trust yourself or disprove yourself if you already feel like there might be this problem going on.

If you have someone who could be impartial when given evidence, you might want to consider asking if they'd mind helping you identify if this is a problem or not. Don't mention mun names or even muses if you're in the same intersections of the RPC, you're not trying to smear anyone here, just get a different viewpoint that isn't touched by any negative or positive feelings about that mun!

I said "evidence," so, I want to be clear that I did not mean screenshots or direct quotes. Give situations, what the mun is and is not doing, as both are important.

Some questions that might help you identify things to present to a third party for help:

Are they replying to any of your threads, how about asks?

If/when they reply to you IC, how do they reply? Is it shorter than it used to be, unenthusiastic? Or is it the same, just fewer and farther between, or less interesting to you than what they're doing with preferred partners?

Are the plots they're doing with the favorite(s) ones that you previously had with them or that you had plotted out and were working toward? And if that answer is yes, are these common plots that can be applied anywhere or specific ones?

Is this all something that is perhaps temporary overexcitement, or has this just kept going on for months, shows no sign of stopping?

Did you speak/were friends OOC? If so, how has this changed? Frequency of messaging, topics of conversation, enthusiasm, interest in you or your muse?

Are you now left out of games on the dash in which you used to be tagged, or unwelcome in things like "dash crack?" Is it, by contrast, that you might be welcome in the latter, but either it doesn't interest you by inclusion/focus of the favorite or because you lack a base of engagement with what's going on?

Do they send you memes, has that changed at all?

The way you feel is valid, but it might also be influencing the way you're viewing a situation, including in how you relate it to someone else for help. So, try to stick to actions when doing so.

By contrast, muns who have favorites but are not using this to justify being disrespectful to others tend to:

be open and upfront about having favorites and why - they're not trying to hide anything, including what makes their favorite writing partners, threads, and ships favorites to begin with

^they are not "open and upfront" by obnoxiously reminding everyone constantly who those favorites are, they're not shit posting how @munthatisntyou is their bestie/their muse is lusting after their muse/actually my wife. They are upfront about it by stating in their rules they can, will, and do have favorites. They're open about it by not lying or acting like it's the worst accusation ever when someone asks them about it

definitely have priority threads, might have an easier, thus faster, time responding to questions/prompts regarding those threads/ships, but still respond with equal interest to memes from others*

the same is true of interest and turnaround time with thread replies, they might get the preferred ones out faster, but they're still replying to everyone and still keeping other muns updated on what's going on*

will not be hostile when approached by fair, politely put concerns about threads, but rather, will respond with honesty as to their interests - whether they have, indeed, changed or haven't alike

they still express the same interest OOC outside of messages, liking and commenting on posts, sending memes, and being concerned or congratulatory when they see OOC posts dealing with life events

in general, muns who just have favorites like everyone does remain aware of others in the same way they always have, still make efforts to respond to threads, memes, messages, etc. with the same interest they always have - they appreciate everyone they interact with, not only their favorite(s)

*Everyone has a different way that works for them, and that influences their meme answering, thread replying, and OOC response turnaround time. A very social mun might respond to OOC messages more frequently, reliably, and with more zeal than a mun who is less socially active, forgetful, or dealing with different difficulties that might prevent doing so, for example. As another example, a mun who writes lengthy, detailed novella that takes a while to finish is going to take longer with everyone than a mun who writes in a way, or just has more time to write, that allows for replies to get out faster. Please, keep expectations and observances mindful of these factors and differences! What is typical of one mun might be perceived as legitimate favoritism when contrasted with a mun who operates differently than them.

That's really the difference, there is recognition and appreciation of everyone. They might have a visibly different friendship with their favorite(s), but it doesn't come with the cost of treating everyone else either like they don't exist or like total shit. And that comes in many ways, as many ways as there are possible interactions in the RPC. From being casual mutuals who do not write together (still acknowledging posts etc.) to outright writing partners (still giving replies with as much effort and quality).

You can think of muns like this as you would people who have different sorts of friendships as opposed to people who have rather cliquey friendships in which it's often enough a clique of two in which everyone else, even if included or otherwise used by those two, only exists out of necessity. The former is a normal social situation, we get on well with the people we do for a reason, and that's perfectly alright. The latter is some immature and self-interested behavior one should have grown out of in junior high.

As you didn't ask for this, I'm putting it under the cut as additional advice for others!

If you feel like someone is being disrespectful, or worse, and is glossing it over with "it's okay for people to have favorites, calm down" (a thing that's totally true but not meant to be used to excuse shitty behavior), you really do want to just remove yourself from the situation. In a situation like that, you're not going to change their behavior, and even if you did, are you ever going to be able unsee it?

What is more likely to happen is you'll be growing the seed of upset they planted into a big tree of animosity. Every time you are on your dash and see them replying or tagging their favorite(s), you're going to be either hurt or angry. Eventually, it's impossible to separate which of those things you are, and it's increasingly likely you're going to say or do something regrettable. And I mean regrettable in how it is likely to negatively affect you. You don't deserve to be branded a terrible person for an outburst. The situation has been bad enough.

Whether you should soft block to unfollow and force an unfollow, hard block, unfollow with or without communication is all subject to too many variables for me to advise any single course of action.

If it's possible to communicate politely that you're officially dropping threads or unfollowing, I will always advise doing so. If that isn't possible because this mun has been that terrible, or has proven in the past that they will react badly to such communications, then so be it, just quietly remove yourself from their presence.

You owe friends, even former ones if they've not done you awfully, the decency of communicating that you're ending things. You owe mutuals who haven't done anything more than ignoring you (as awful as that is, it's not as bad as being aggressively disrespectful, lying to you, leading you on, etc.) that decency and maturity as well. You do not owe anyone who has behaved like an immature ass that decency, it's okay to just leave in those cases. As it is in situations when you feel confident that speaking to them is going to cause drama for you.

When a mun hasn't ever really interacted with you, you've become mutuals, but it never went anywhere because they were already engaged in ignoring everyone except the favorite(s), it's alright to just leave quietly, too. They clearly don't register that you exist, so...don't exist. Go exist around muns who know you're there. But the caveat to that should be that if they decide to notice your vacant spot on the dash and come to you to ask about this, you should answer them. Be honest, but polite. Tell them that you just didn't see working out with them after all, and since you hadn't interacted, you unfollowed.

You never know (you just shouldn't count on it), in that latter case especially, that mun might honestly not be aware of the effect of their actions. Like everyone else, they're just doing what they enjoy, what makes them happy is what they're concentrated on, and might genuinely just have a narrow field of vision on it until spoken to.

Whatever is right for the unique situation at hand, don't lie to someone if they message you about it. Don't just act like it was an accidental unfollow or a tumblr glitch, grit your teeth, and add them back so that there is no unpleasantness. There is already unpleasantness if you felt the need to distance yourself from them, remember that!

[koganegawasimp]

Anon works now!! :) Ahh I didn’t see any character limit in the rules so let me know if this is too many, but can we get some hcs for Ushijima, Tendou, Lev, and Alisa (if you can write for them, I like me my mostly underrated characters lmao) on how they’d ask out their crush? Nice simple ask to get the ball rolling! Good luck on your blog!!! :)

Tysm for your request! Just for future reference, there is no maximum number of characters I’ll write for a request, but the more characters there are the longer the request will take! I’m so sorry that this took so long for me to write, but I hope you enjoy it!

Ushijima, Tendou, Lev, and Alisa asking out their crush

Word Count: 1525

Ushijima:

There is absolutely no way that he has any relationship experience whatsoever, he’s been dedicating pretty much his whole life to volleyball so up until now he’s kind of thought that romance was pointless

He probably won’t even realize that he likes you until Tendou starts teasing him about how “dreamy” he looks whenever he sees you

Once Ushijima finally realizes his feelings for you, Tendou encourages him to ask you out

He still has basically no idea how to ask someone out (he probably looks it up on WikiHow or something tbh)

But he does as much research and planning as possible! If he likes you enough to actually ask you out, it means you’re incredibly important and special to him, so he wants everything to be as perfect as it can be!

He ends up approaching you in class to tell you to meet him outside the gym before he goes to practice

He’s so serious and intimidating about it that you literally have no idea what he wants to talk to you about

So anyway at the end of the day you head to the gym where he’s already standing

And he looks INCREDIBLY intimidating so you almost chicken out and go straight home but he notices you standing and he kind of awkwardly waves?

So at this point, you’re actually pretty nervous but there’s not much you can do about it

I mean the guy you like wants to talk to you about something serious! You’re kind of worried that he found out you like him or something and he’s rejecting you

But then!! He asks you if you “would like to attend a movie with him”

You finally realize that he’s asking you out! And even though it’s a little too stiff and a little bit awkward, you can tell he put so much thought and effort into it!

All in all, he tries so hard to do everything right because he just really really cares about you!

Tendou:

He’s not actually very subtle when he has a crush, but he’s still pretty guarded with his emotions even around them

He’s unfortunately used to rejection and being made fun of, so he’s very hesitant to be vulnerable with you. However, he does open up to you about his emotions at other times, which is probably why he ended up liking you in the first place!

He’s one of those people who you really can’t tell if his words are friendly teasing or flirting

And for a while he’s totally fine with being in that weird limbo where you think you might have feelings for each other but you’re not really sure but no one’s making the first move!

But after a while it got pretty stressful for him! Every time someone made a move on you he was worried that you would like them better and that you would just abandon him

He has absolutely no plan when it came to confessing to you and asking you out, so it ended up being incredibly spontaneous

You were hanging out at a playground at night, just talking to each other and enjoying the atmosphere

You were talking about who knows what, and you just looked so excited and energized and happy that all he could think about was how stunning you are and how much he likes you

So when you turn to him and ask for his input on what you were saying, he panics and it just kind of slips out

And now he’s panicking because he really did not mean you tell you yet and that he made everything awkward and you’re going to hate him and call him a monster and he’s just bracing himself for the absolute worst

But you just get really happy again and tell him that you feel the same way! And now he’s super happy and a little bit in disbelief but that doesn’t matter because you like him back!

He explains all of his fears and worries to you and you just reassure him that you’re not going anywhere

The two of you decide to go on an arcade date together!

The whole confession was just very spontaneous and energized!

Lev:

He’s so fucking stupid

He’s fully aware that he likes you. The whole team is aware that he likes you. His classmates know that he likes you. His sister has never met you and she knows that he likes you. You probably know that he likes you.

He literally never shuts up about you! He’ll run into practice talking about how cute it was when you snorted in class or some shit. At this point the whole team is constantly teasing him about it but he usually doesn’t realize they’re making fun of him

He is constantly trying to show off whenever you’re around! He probably drags you to as many practices and games as possible just so that every time he does something cool he can ask you if you saw it

And god forbid you compliment him on anything he’s done

He’ll brag about it to anyone who’ll listen (willingly or unwillingly). This usually ends up being Yaku when he’s forced to run practice drills

He actually never really thought about asking you out?? He just knows that being around you makes him really happy and he wants you to be proud of him!

So one day before practice, while Lev is gushing about whatever you did earlier that day, Kuroo interrupts him to ask if he’s planning on asking you out

And so the wheels start turning in his brain and he realizes that yeah, he should ask you out!

He’s so hyped up at the idea of dating you (even though he hadn’t considered it a real possibility before that point). Like yeah he wants to hug you and kiss you and stuff, but he had never really thought of it as something that could actually happen

He’s just so excited by the idea of asking you out that the second you walk through the gym doors he’s practically pouncing on you

Everyone is staring at you two but Lev being Lev, he doesn’t notice at all. He just kind of starts to word vomit about how he thinks you’re adorable and so nice to him and how he wants you to hold him and tell him that he’s doing a good job. At that point everyone’s kind of cringing a little bit because they did NOT sign up for this, but Lev is still over there happily chatting away about pretty much everything he’s thought about you but hasn’t told you.

So for the sake of pretty much everyone, you pull him outside so you have some privacy. You tell him that you like him back and he is so overjoyed he immediately hugs you so close to him! And it’s a little bit uncomfortable but it just feels so nice that you stay like that for a while. Eventually you split apart and he asks you to go to an amusement park with him!

And then Kuroo yells at him to get back in the gym, and normally Lev would be super whiny but he’s just so happy that you agreed to go on a date with him that nothing can phase him anymore!

Alisa:

She’s actually really cool and collected about liking you most of the time!

If she likes you, chances are she’s already pretty close friends with you

She hasn’t actually told anyone she has feelings for you though. Since you’re so close to each other, she’s worried that you’ll find out about her feelings and end up viewing her differently

She does show you how much she cares about you through her overwhelming support of pretty much everything you do!

She’s constantly complimenting you! She’ll notice the smallest details and changes in your clothes and hair just so she can compliment you

She also likes to buy you little trinkets and gifts she sees that remind her of you! Nothing too expensive, just like your favorite candy or a cute little stuffed animal or something

She really just likes to see you smile!

One day she decides that it’s finally time to confess to you!

She ends up leaving you a note asking you to meet her outside after school, along with some little candies

So after school, you rush outside to hear what she has to tell you as soon as possible. You can kind of tell that she’s going to confess, but you don’t want to jump to conclusions too soon just based on the note

Her confession ends up being incredibly sweet and heartfelt! You can tell that she put so much thought into trying to tell you pretty much everything she likes about you

When you tell her you feel the same way, she’s so happy that she’s practically glowing! She hugs you out of pure excitement and asks you out on a date!

She’d probably plan a whole cute cottagecore picnic date or something pretty and sweet like that

She’s just so happy that you feel the same way!!

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 63: Burdens

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Sixty-Three: Burdens.

Note: This chapter felt so good to write, omg! The feels! I just-

(-~-)

The soft glow of the refrigerator was the only light that he bothered to turn on in the dark kitchen. His eyesight was more than sufficient to be able to find a glass of water at this time of the morning. The sun would be up in about an hour and a half, and more than likely so would the rest of his family. And yet despite having slept for a few hours, he couldn't bring himself to really agree on whether or not he should stay up or go back to sleep.

It was indecisive times like these that made him wonder where his mind went during the wee hours of the morning. There was so much going on right now, and although he did have a lot going on in the deeper recesses of his mind, he couldn't say that it particularly troubled him. Nero knew deep down that they would get him out of the situation. V was in good hands. And yet there was something about the situation that just gave him pause.

Perhaps it was simply natural for him to worry about his older brother. V had a lot of things going on in his life, and a good majority of them weren't good. Even though he knew that they had the power to solve this issue, he still had to wonder how it would affect him in the long term. He couldn't imagine that it was good for him psychologically to have to deal with all of this, but he was a strong person, after all. In their own way, everyone in their family was. They just processed their issues differently. But he couldn't help but think that V was a standout example of this. 

But even the strongest people have their moments of weakness, and there was only so much that a person could take. His quiet, mild-mannered sibling had been through far too much in such a short lifetime, and he couldn't imagine that any of that was good for him in the long term. But what could he do against such powerful enemies that would be meaningful on its own? He had the power to fight them, but that didn't solve the lasting problems that this could cause his older sibling. He needed to do something more personal for that. Perhaps even more meaningful.

"The only thing I can do is be there for you." The thought just sort of came to him as he poured his drink, closing the fridge after he put the water picture back into it. It was quite genuinely the only thing that he could do besides try to physically protect him. He didn't think that he was helpless. Far from it. But maybe it was best to just let him know that he was there? He had the feeling that given the rapport they developed he would tell him if he needed them, but every one of their family had a habit of shutting off their emotions at times and cutting off those who might best serve them in moments of need, so maybe it was best that he say something to him the next time they spoke.

As if on cue, the downstairs phone rang in the next room over, cutting a somewhat noisy swath to the otherwise quiet house. Nero practically leaped to grab it off the receiver, unwilling to allow it to wake the children up. He just didn't want to deal with that right now. And Kyrie, for that matter. She was sleeping so soundly upstairs. He didn't want to disturb her. She would be up soon anyway.

"Hello?" He held the receiver up to his ear, admittedly unsure as to who could be calling it this hour, but willing to bet that it was probably important. Nobody really had his number. The van had a different phone number than the rest of the house, so if it was somebody calling about business, then that phone would be ringing. Only friends and family at this one.

For a moment, it was a silent pause as nothing more than breathing could be heard on the other end of the receiver. He became increasingly uncomfortable, wondering for a moment if this was actually some sort of prank call. He considered hanging up the phone, but just as he was about to, a faint voice came from the other end of the receiver.

"Nero… ?" His breath was slightly shaky, holding an air of uncertainty to it as if he were still contemplating whether or not he should be making this call or if he had the right number in the first place. It was somewhat unlike him, and that immediately stood out to Nero. Was something wrong?

The youngest descendant of the Dark Knight Sparda did a physical double-take, though no one besides him could see it. He knew that voice anywhere. It was V. But then, what was he doing calling it this hour? From what he's seen, he'd normally be asleep by now. What in the world was going on?

"V? Shit, at first I didn't recognize your voice. Something wrong? Is everything okay?" He wasn't afraid to allow the concern in his voice to be known. He knew that V more than possibly anybody else in his family understood the concept of emotional depth. And just by the slightly troubled tone of his voice when he'd spoken his name, he knew that something was wrong. He didn't need to say it.

Another pause, this one somehow even longer than the first. Was he actually having to think about whether or not he was okay? That in of itself concerned him. He didn't want to feel like he was rushing him in any way, but he felt the need to press the question again. "What's wrong? And don't tell me “nothing”, because I know something is. Just tell me what it is."

Exhaling from the other end of the line slowly, V cleared his throat slightly. He seems slightly shaken up, something that he had never really associated with V before now. He was always so calm and well put together. Whatever had happened must have really gotten to him for him to be this off. That was enough to bring him great concern by itself.

"I'm fine. Physically. It's just that something did happen, and Sirrus isn't. I think he will be, but for an hour or two, it was very bad. I was just told that they don't expect him to awaken until at least tomorrow, but he could awaken sooner. At least I think so. I don't… " He drilled off for a moment, another heavy sigh coming for him, this one slightly shakier than before. It was hard to tell from this side of the phone, but at that moment Nero knew that he was not in a good place emotionally. He might have been physically unharmed, but he had seemingly been shaken by the events that he had witnessed. Or perhaps it was more likely that everything was getting to him all at once. To say that things have been rough since his return would be a massive understatement. You can only compress that much stress for so long. "I cannot say why I called If I'm speaking honestly. I guess I just needed to hear the voice of someone who I knew would understand, even if I didn't."

Nero nodded. He knew exactly what he needed to do. "Where are you at, V?"

A slightly surprised intake of air was the only thing that he could hear for a moment until he answered. "The Ludwig estate. They were the closest thing to a hospital I could call."

He nodded to himself, reaching over to grab his coat off of the hook next to the door. He'd have to tell Kyrie about this before he left. "I'll be over in a few minutes. Just stay there, okay?"

Amusingly enough, he could practically feel the gears in V's head-turning as he tried to comprehend how he was going to get from Fortuna to the mainland that quickly. But just as he seemed to register the fact that Nero could fly, Nero was in the process of putting on his boots. He didn't need to change clothes. It wasn't like he really wore pajamas anyway. He didn't think it was going to stand out to anyone if he showed up in gray sweatpants with a black t-shirt on. And if it did, he honestly didn't care.

But much to his surprise, instead of refuting the need for him to come or attempting to talk him down from it, V simply took a few deep breaths before answering. What point was there in trying to talk him out of it? He knew from personal experience that it wouldn't work.

"Okay, Nero."

A soft smirk played its way across Nero's face as he unlocked the front door before turning his attention towards the steps. Something had caught his attention. "I'll see you in a few minutes, then." And then he hung up the phone, admittedly almost hesitantly. He wanted to ask him more questions, but he would do it in person. He didn't think that he was the best person when it came to understanding the feelings and thoughts of others, but one thing he thought that he did understand was V, and if the time that he had reached out to him in his greatest moment of need in the Qliphoth was anything to go by, then he could be trusted to attempt to help his brother when the time came. Even if V didn't realize that that was what he wanted, Nero was, and he wasn't going to let him down.

Just then, a small head poked around the corner, long auburn hair trailing down from it. He was admittedly slightly startled to see Kyrie up, but a glance at the clock was enough to tell him that he shouldn't be too surprised. She was an extraordinary early bird, so seeing her up to make coffee or tea this early wasn't unheard of. It was just that the overcast weather and the closed curtains made it difficult to tell that dawn was actually rolling around. All the more reason for him to get going before people could easily see what he planned to do.

"Nero, is everything okay?" She stepped forward, her robe wrapped around her and another blanket around that. It was a chilly morning, and the heat wasn't exactly on. Something that he was sure she'd remedy as soon as he left. He'd probably been keeping her warm when he'd been up there. The thought made him smile.

With a nod, he stepped forward and squeezed her into a small hug, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He realized he'd made a habit recently of slipping out in the night, but after he'd gone to Redgrave City with V to go fight Urizen without telling her where he's gone, he had made a quiet promise to himself to never do that again. He could only imagine to this day how worried she'd been when she'd opened the bedroom door and he'd been gone without a trace, especially since he hadn't been awake since the time that he'd lost his arm. She'd probably been worried sick, but ever hopeful as she always was. A talent he himself had never managed to master. He liked to think of it as Kyrie's own special sort of superpower.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about. I just got to go talk to V. He called and he seemed kinda down. I'm going to go check on him."

She smiled softly, nodding. That was something that she wholeheartedly understood and supported. "Okay, then. Be safe. Both of you. And let me know how it goes when you get the chance. Wish him well for me."

Nero nodded, turning towards the door to head out. He was so glad that he had someone who understood without needing to ask. Maybe that was why V had called him? "Sure thing, Kyrie. Have Nico call me if you need somethin'."

And with that, he headed out of the door and towards the Ludwig estate, entirely set upon finding out what had led to his brother calling him so early in the morning. Or even being up this early in the first place, for that matter. If Sirrus was injured, then whatever they have gone up against had probably been pretty bad. After all, he'd seen that guy kill a flaming Taurus demon single-handedly in about two strikes from a sword that wasn't even a devil arm. He wasn't exactly a pushover, and neither was V, for that matter. He needed to find out what was going on. And he wanted to do that sooner rather than later.

(-~-)

V had stood there staring at the phone quietly for several minutes before putting the phone back on the receiver, just listening to the dial tone. He wasn't sure what he thought that would accomplish, but perhaps a bit of mindlessness for a moment was what he needed. He wasn't sure how to explain why what had happened had such a profound effect on him, but it did. Well, he knew, but he didn't know how to put it into words.

Perhaps it was because before all of this he had never been accustomed to such violence or supernatural activity. He'd simply thought himself crazy, having been told so many times that what he could see was not real. And now that he knew that it was, there were still parts of him that were readjusting to that reality. This had been the first time in a long time that he almost witnessed the demise of someone he considered a friend, and that was going to sit with him for at least a few days. That was a guarantee. 

He knew he needed to shake that off for the sake of himself in regards to continuing the effect of the curse he was under, but if he did not allow himself to feel the feelings that he felt, then they would consume him. He knew that very well. The trouble was where to draw the line between allowing the emotions to make themselves known, and lingering in them. He didn't want to wallow in his growing guilt.

When he finally headed back to the room where Sirrus was resting, he stuck his head in for a moment to see if he was awake. One of the other Ludwig girls was in there with him, one that he did not recognize. She seemed to be tending to his injuries. Flora and Hydrangea were there now, coming to check on him. It hadn't occurred to him until then to wonder what relationship was to the rest of them. Perhaps a cousin, or even a sister? He wasn't going to ask now, but it was curious, to say the least. She seemed worried about him and close enough to him to indicate that they might be related, but it was genuinely hard to say from an outsider's perspective. They could have just been really good friends for all he knew.

Realizing that he would probably be interrupting a moment that they would be remiss to not take in the event of something tragic, he decided to just close the door back and take a walk. Griffon and Shadow we're already in the room as it was. They would let him know if something was wrong. He knew that other people cared about Sirrus as well, and he needed to allow them the time to grapple with what had happened to him. That was the only right thing he could do in this situation, especially since he had come to harm protecting him in the first place. 

Perhaps the fresh air in the garden would do him some good. He headed down the corridor and out the back door, not at all surprised to find that the back door was unlocked at this hour. Only a colossal fool would attempt to breach these walls, not that they were particularly high. In fact, they were quite standard height if not for the ornate wrought iron on top of them. It wouldn't be difficult to climb them at all, but it would be more than a little bit foolish. It was almost as if they were inviting a challenge to those unintelligent enough to take it, but he was certain that no one that entered these walls uninvited would leave them unscathed. This is one of the few places he felt totally safe.

V made his way over to a bench, considering sitting on it for a moment, but then instead of opting to just sit down in front of the pond and enjoy the smell of the water. They kept it very clean, something that had to be a challenge given the size of it, but something he appreciated. Few things were viler than dirty pond water. And he was willing to bet that birds were probably in it during the day. He liked the sound of birds. Maybe he should have moved to the woods after all? No, that hadn't gone well the first time. It seemed that a quiet life of isolation wasn't something that he could be afforded. What a pity. There had been something appealing about the quiet isolation of the cold wilderness.

But as he lingered on that fact, a sort of thundering boom could be heard slightly off in the distance. He turned his attention back to the water, sensing a shift in the atmosphere around him. That had been rather quick. He hoped with everything in him that he hadn't caused too much alarm. It hadn't occurred to him until then, but Nero might have thought that something more was going on. He hoped he hadn't made him worry. He'd indirectly caused enough trouble tonight… 

"I'm genuinely surprised that you didn't just land in the courtyard." He said almost too quietly as he heard the door open behind him. He knew that his brother could hear him, even at his decreased volume. It was one of the few benefits of what they were. The sound of the crunching gravel beneath his feet as he approached was all the confirmation he needed to know that Nero had heard him loud and clear.

"Yeah, I actually thought about doing that, but then I thought about the fact that the girls here would probably think I was attacking the place and try to kill me, so… no. Not going to happen."

A soft smile spread across his face in spite of everything, leading to something akin to a chuckle to escape his lips. His younger brother's relentless wit was something that he truly did like about him. He might do foolish things at times, but that didn't mean that V didn't respect the special kind of innate humor that his younger sibling possessed. They were different forms of humor just as they were different forms of intellect, and the fact that they seem to possess different ends of that same spectrum didn't make either of them less valid.

"I'm sorry that I interrupted your rest. You shouldn't have come so early on my behalf." He admittedly did feel guilty about that. He himself was tired, so he couldn't imagine how Nero felt after a day of taking care of the kids and coming to the meeting as early as he had. He'd had time to sit and think afterward, no other personal obligations to attend to. But Nero? He had three kids and a lovely significant other. That was a lot to deal with even before you factored in Nico and her insatiable appetite for chaos and food. The fact that he had taken the time to come and see what was going on with him and then head home to see to the needs of everyone else just showed the breadth of his kindness. 

He hoped that was something his brother would never lose. His compassion was something truly special, so genuine and so pure and its intent. 

Despite everything that Nero had been through, he had never lost that. Everyone wavered at times, but he always came back to being the person he truly was, and that person was truly something to admire. He wondered if his younger brother knew that.

"No, I definitely should have. Cuz that's what I'm going to do when you need me. And you can't tell me that you don't." Nero sat down on the ground next to V, looking him slightly up and down as if to assess what was wrong with him. It occurred to V at that moment that he was still wearing some of the bandages from being patched up, so he probably looked a little bit worse for wear. The visible bruises and the slightly busted lip weren’t doing him any favors, either. He hoped that they would be gone by morning like they normally were. He was already going to have to explain the situation to the rest of his family, but the last thing he needed was for his father to actually see him in this state. The last time something like that had happened, he'd disappeared for 2 weeks!

Looking over at Nero, he attempted to figure out what he could say to something that was so genuinely touching. He hadn't expected to hear Nero say that, and the genuine look of surprise on his face said everything that it needed to. Nero gave him an almost hurt look, the genuine concern and pain for his suffering in his eyes, something that he had seen in smaller measures before, but could really see the depth of now. He wasn't sure why, but at that moment, he wavered. There was just something so necessary about this.

Truthfully, he hadn't realized the state he was in until Nero had put his hand on his shoulder and leaned over to look him in the face. He hadn't moved, not sure what doing so would do for him. His brain was slightly foggy. He was probably just slightly overwhelmed. But that was the moment when he became acutely aware of the small stream of water that had run down from the corner of his eye, and as soon as he realized this a mixture of confusion and overwhelmed relief had washed over him. It was funny to him to think that Nero had literally seen him with no clothes on once, but that this might be the most compromising thing he’d ever done in front of him. And this hadn't even been the first time tonight that it had happened. 

Was he okay?

No, he absolutely wasn't. And he wasn't ashamed to admit that, but he just didn't know how to.

"Okay, what's going on? What's got you so upset? And I don't need a short answer. Or for it to make sense. Just start talking. I'll figure it out."

V blinked, attempting to clear his eyes lightly before simply giving in and wiping his face. He let out a shuddery sigh, looking down at the pond but not seeing himself. "I don't want what happened to Sirrus to happen to any of you. Not for me. Ever."

Nero was taken aback by the honesty of that statement, and although he didn't understand the entirety of the thought process that had led him to making that statement, he understood the pain in it. He knew exactly what that felt like. 

"... I know what you mean, V. Somebody important to me lost their life protecting me, and I don't think I've ever been the same since. He was like a brother to me, you know?" He trailed off, efforting his gaze as he thought of what Credo had done for him that day. He thought of how the loss of her brother had broken Kyrie's heart. And he thought of the lasting legacy of that sacrifice and what it meant to him. "But as much as that hurt, I learned something that day but I'm going to carry with me the rest of my life."

V looked over at him, the pain in his expression evident, but the willingness to listen was still present. He'd never seen Nero look so sad before, and that alone was enough to tell him that what he meant to say to him was genuine. He would hear him out "I'm sorry that you... What did you learn that day?"

"That as much as it hurts, sometimes we just have to let people make their own decisions. We don't have to agree with them. We don't even have to like it. We can hate it, but we can't stop them from doing what they think is right. Because if we do, we're taking the same thing from them that they want to give to us. Freedom." He shook his head, really thinking back to that day again. it rarely left his mind. "As much as I didn't want Credo to sacrifice his life to save me, I am thankful that I'm still here. I would never ask him to do that for me, but he did it without a second thought because he thought that my life and Kyrie's life were that important to him, and that there was something he could do to save it. The only thing I wish I could do is thank him for what he did that day. I think that's what eats away at me. The last thing I did was strike out in anger against him over a misunderstanding instead of getting to say what I really thought. How much I appreciated him. Sometimes I wonder if it's the fear of losing people that scares us, or the fear of losing them without that person knowing what they mean to you that scares us more. I think what I’m saying is you just have to trust us, V."

Feeling good in those words for a minute, taking them in. The sentiment made sense to him, of that much he couldn't deny. And the genuine pain in Nero's voice as he recognized that reality was something that he knew would stay with him. He could see how it weighed on him. It was the truth, as far as he could tell. Everyone would die eventually, but it was the way you died and the life you lived that mattered. And as was the nature of the truth, it cut deep and it's done, but he understood the necessity of the words that his younger sibling had spoken to him.

"Then live. I think he knew. I don't see how he couldn't. I don't think he died to bury you in the guilt you now feel, Nero. Don't labor under the guilt decision you took out part in, revel in the memory of the kindness they showed you."

Nero didn't answer, but he nodded slowly, indicating that he agreed. There wasn't much he could say about it. That was what he knew deep down he should feel, but it was just hard to. He felt that he should live his life and do right by what Credo had done for him to honor his memory, but that didn't stop him from missing him. Maybe it was time that he embraced that.

He placed his hand on Nero's shoulder, suddenly more concerned with the obvious pain that he was going through than anything else. They both recognized that it wasn't a perfect solution, but it was one that they could agree on for the time being. Things rarely were perfect. There wasn't much more he could do right now. But he was willing to accept that the people who loved him just wanted to see him safe, and he was willing to do everything in his power to keep them safe, too. The feeling was mutual. And they were safest when they put their heads together and worked as a cohesive unit.

"Then I will strive to do the same. You're right. I will respect your wish to protect me… and in return, I trust that you will respect my wish to do the same for you." The pain that he'd felt moments ago at what had happened suddenly shifted, hardening into a resolve that he hadn't previously realized he'd had. He'd found his motivation to fight. He had something to protect now, and he wouldn't see any harm come to those that he loved due to his inaction. Absolutely not. "I won't let any of you fight this battle for me. It's time that we ended this. Side by side."

Nero nodded and stood up, holding his hand out to him in a silent offering of assistance. And this time, V humored him. "You're goddamn right. Let's do this."

(-~-)

Wow, this chapter really got me in the feels. Probably the most important 5k words I’ve written in a long time. I think it was important for them to mutually agree to do this together. They work best together when they are on the same page, you know? That's the difference between Nero and V and their uncle and father. Communication and recognition of their limits. They will offer help and ask for it (at least a good amount of the time) They understand and admit that they can't do something with that they need something to help them.

I hope to see you in the comments, and I'll see you on Wednesday!

[heuristicallyinclined]

SPF Five Million or Whatever

Summary: Mspa Reader figures they need some sunlight and recruits a few friends to help them get it.

Rating: T for language

Notes: I haven't written any of the jades before and I really love them and tried my best to capture their dynamic. I really love imagining Mspa Reader's adventures between Friendsim and Pesterquest. I feel like the games were really just scratching the surface of their shenanigans.  

(AO3)

You are pretty sure that people need about twenty minutes of sunlight a day to stay healthy. 

Or at least that is what you think it is. You never really thought about it too much to be honest. Having spent a decent amount of time outside walking, you figured you were getting your daily dose in without much effort, and maybe you just didn’t realize how good you had it, not living on a planet that even passively was trying to kill you. Because right now, you know for a fact you’re getting the ideal amount of sunlight on Alternia, which in your personal experience is fucking ziltch.

You tried it once and learned pretty fast that what might leave you with a healthy glow on Earth, would leave you well done on Alternia, a disgusting state for any piece of meat to be in, let alone your body. So that was clearly an Earth exclusive recommendation. 

Still, you think some sunlight would do you good. 

Especially since you were starting to feel this constant exhaustion after a few months on Alternia. After ruling out your questionable diet and semi existent sleep schedule, you were left with the fact that you were likely getting a vitamin D deficiency. 

Frankly, you have not survived your various trials and many tribulations here on Alternia to let rickets be what finally kills you. Absolutely not. No. You’re too proud to die in the lamest way possible on a planet with significantly more respectable and less preventable ways of dying. 

This does mean you’ll have to face off with the Alternian sun, which really isn’t that much better on the lame death scale. Last time you got caught out during daylight, you got really lucky. You aren’t counting on a second time where a gorgeous cowgirl, alien Lassie, and a lot of dumb luck would happen to rescue you from your own poor life choices. 

So this time, you were going to try to be smart about doing something this monumentally stupid. You were going to get water, a floppy hat, and some ice packs. Now you just had to not do this alone, especially when you knew someone who touted the merits of the buddy system. 

Luckily, you also know a few people who could withstand the sun’s rays. 

Finding out that jadeblood sun resistance was in fact a real thing and not just the latest in fucking with the local alien made this a whole lot easier and left you with a few options to consider. You figured Wanshi was too young to be kept up that late and that you’d rather not traumatize her if this went sideways. Bronya mentioned being busy with a new brood hatching and managing the herd of lusii they attracted to the caverns so that was a no go. Lanque would likely be otherwise occupied or at least claim to be and you’d rather him not see you like this if you could help it. That left you with Daraya, who you knew would be up and likely be down for some alien shenanigans. But most importantly, Lynera.

One massive check in her favor is she already had experience inconspicuously carrying your injured body through the caverns unnoticed by literally anyone else to a secondary location So discretion was clearly already a strong suit of hers. The context for how she even got that much experience in the first place is none of your business, especially now that you’re friends. And you’d say you two were actually pretty close after all the time you’ve spent hanging out with her in the caverns and going out on little cafe trips.

Really, she was the ideal candidate for this by every observable metric. Well, almost.

While she is loyal enough that you knew that she would help you hide a body if asked, she has also threatened enough people for perceived slights against you that she would very likely be the reason there was a corpse hanging around in the first place. So having Daraya be there too was probably a safe move. 

Oh it’s all coming together now.

You were feeling really good about this. Your confidence in yourself, your friends, and your planning abilities carried you through two difficult conversations. One with a veneer of apathy trying to conceal some very real concern, the other incredibly loud and extremely worried, but you got through them and that’s what matters. 

So here you are at the brooding caverns, tucked away inside the turn just before the mouth, clad in some cool guy shades from Cirava, a sun hat from Charun, some shorts from Remele, and a Xoloto brand tank top complete with strategic ripping that makes it basically impossible to wear anywhere in public without a layer underneath. 

Your friends are right here with you. Lynera is alternating between pacing and fretting over the placement of your sun hat for the seventh time to really make sure your hair doesn’t ignite. You know it won’t and you told her it won’t, but you let her fuss. She just needs to do something with her hands to stay calm. You can at least let her have that with what you’re about to do. Daraya checks her palm husk again for the time as dawn steadily approaches. You take a deep breath in, psyching yourself up. 

So you never actually figured out what the Alternian sun equivalent to twenty minutes of Earth sun is. But you think a minute should be enough to do it and not pass out. It feels about right. You have based this off of no math whatsoever, but you’ve done worse with less prep, so you’re not going to let some nerd shit stop you. Especially not now, when you hear Daraya sigh. You know that it’s show time. 

You look at her to confirm as she pockets her device and you see some light begin to stretch into the cavern’s entrance. She looks at it too, frowning as it approaches.

“▲▲ try not to fry your pan ▼▼"

You give her a reassuring smile and run up through the mouth of the cave, and stop just past the entrance, arms up wide and outstretched, like you were doing the YMCA dance and lost rhythm just past the first letter, ready to receive that sunlight you so desperately craved. The sun hits your skin and there is a comfort in feeling’s its warmth after living in eternal night.

You really missed this.

...

Actually, you know what? No you don’t. Fuck this. 

That “gentle warmth” quickly became a scorching blaze and to your credit, you made it a solid ten seconds under the full wrath of that relentless bitch they called a sun before you decided to quit while you were ahead and conscious. You dash back towards the entrance, uncomfortably aware of every step you take. Lynera stops nervously pacing and stiffens when you reenter the shade and runs towards you. Daraya is ready and quickly hands you a water bottle. You struggle to open the cap because of the condensation making the bottle slick and it exacerbates the painful tingle you’re feeling all over your hands. And your face. And your everything actually. 

You continue struggling until you finally succeed in twisting the cap off, but your victory immediately proves to be a hollow one, as your tight grip on the bottle has water going everywhere. 

God. Damn. It. 

You’re vaguely cognisant of a screeching sound somewhere behind you, but you have more important concerns right now. By some absolute miracle, a decent amount of the water seems to have gotten on you and saturated your top, soothing the skin under it. You feel less like you’re on fire and more like you had marinated your entire body in icy-hot for a few hours before getting deep fried. 

You’d like to believe that that is a much more manageable situation. Your skin can’t tell much of a difference though so you waste no time and pour the rest out all over your face like you were a champ who just scored the winning goal instead of a dipshit speedrunning skin cancer. 

Daraya mercifully cracks a cold one with the boys and pours the contents of another water bottle on you like you were a plant she forgot to water. The cool sensation on your skin causes you to sigh in a relief that doesn’t last long, before you lose contact with the ground. Lynera has you thrown over her shoulder and starts quickly making her way back into the caverns to her respiteblock. The physical contact takes that previous painful tingle and absolutely fucking floors it, bringing you to a familiar world of pain that your ass was very content not revisiting. Daraya keeps pace behind the two of you with her arms crossed the face of someone who is totally not panicked.

You try to calm them, telling them you feel better already. Really, you mean it. 

This just causes Lynera to speed up and Daraya to grimace down at you instead of giving you an actual response. 

While, yes, you resent having flesh, you actually feel really awake right now. 

Daraya narrows her eyes. “▲▲ you mean from the pain? ▼▼”

No. No. That's different. And way more familiar. 

God. Despite looking like a freshly hatched octogenarian, Lynera can really book it. 

She carries your limp, increasingly dizzy body with ease. You knew she was deceptively strong and fast first hand, based off of her being able to immediately able to knock you the fuck out and lug you back to her combination study block murder dungeon. Honestly, being able to do anything with an alien discreetly deserves commendation. Commendation up and out the wazoo. 

You’re about to attempt to try to verbalize that thought, but just before the turn to get to Lynera's study block, she suddenly stops. She nervously glances between this hallway and another adjacent one one. Daraya almost bumps into her but stops herself just in time. 

"▲▲▲ what are you doing? We said we were just going to put them in a spare recuperacoon ▼▼▼" Daraya whisper yells. 

"They're a new color Daraya !!!" Lynera whisper yells to the point of negating the whisper part of the whisper yell and more just using a normal speaking volume with a hiss. “-they need !!! A medicull kit !!!”

Oh. You glance down at one of your dangling arms. That happened fast. In retrospect, you should have mentioned that was a thing that would potentially happen. How did you forget that?  

“▲▲▲ and do what? A medicull kit could make them worse. We don’t know shit about aliens ▼▼▼”

“-!!! well how would you know all of their injuries were taken care of! that we didnt miss anything!”  

“▲ they’re fine. We just, I don't fucking know? Rotate them in the slime? ▼”

“-like some sort of !!! rotisserie cluckbeast !!!” Lynera indignantly whisper shrieks. 

"▲▲ No!▼▼" Daraya quickly defends. The way her eyes quickly glance to the side seems to imply that's kind of exactly what it's like. 

Just like them rotisserie chickens. 

The longer their arguing went on, the more uncomfortably aware you were getting about the fact that you had a body and Lynera's clothes felt like steel wool grating against your poor skin. That and describing what they were doing as “whisper arguing” was becoming more and more of a stretch as it went on and started to get louder. You were worried you were going to attract unwanted attention. 

It is as soon as you have that thought, that a door opens, and you see an irritated Lanque groggily peek his head through to find the source of the commotion. 

His face remains still at first, blinking tiredly as he takes in the fuckery and only opens the door wider when the other two turn at the sound of his door opening and he registers you slumped over Lynera’s shoulder with a single raised brow. 

You smile and wave at him, despite how lightheaded her turn had you feeling, and Daraya quickly pulls your hand down and stands in front of you like there was nothing to see here. You let out a weak, “ow,” as she did, your flesh protesting at the touch. She glances back at you quickly, before exasperatedly turning to look back at Lanque with her arms crossed.

“▲▲ what? ▼▼”

He measuredly looks at the scene before him. Really taking in all of the bullshit before side eyeing Lynera. 

“You threW the alien into broad daylight? EVen for you, that's crazy.” He almost sounds surprised, before smiling sweetly, “NoW Who’s going to tolerate you?” 

Lynera sputters something, clearly offended, but Daraya cuts her off with a groan, 

“▲ they literally need sunlight to live Lanque ▼”

His face twists. “Are they a fucking plant?” 

“-no!!!" Lynera considers for a moment before yelling again just as loud. “-most likely not!!!”

He looks from your trio, to the small puddle of water forming under you, and glances back to the trail of water you apparently had dripping from you this whole time. 

You know, you’re really starting to see the plant angle here. 

“▲▲ look they just needed some stupid sunlight and we hung around to make sure they didn’t just get too cooked or whatever. What, are you going to tell Bronya on us? ▼▼" Daraya half mocks, half asks.

“No, of course not.” Lanque almost seems offended. “I don’t see any reason to inVolVe myself With you tWo Watching the alien give themselVes sun sickness.”

You ask no one in particular what sun sickness is.

“-can aliens get sun sickness???” Lynera asks with a newfound panic.

Lanque irritatedly replies, “HoW Would I knoW?” 

You feel briefly dejected that no one answered. Until another thought crosses your mind. It wasn’t related to anything occurring at the moment, but it was weird enough that you don’t know how this was the first time you had ever really thought about it. Maybe the events of this morning were what it took for you to even be able consider this quandary. 

Why do they say troll before a name? Like troll Will Smith? Doesn’t that imply there is another kind of WIll Smith? Like if they’re all trolls, why say troll? Oh shit, is that why they do it? Did you tell them about human Will Smith or would that be like human Whillh Smithh? Human Willhh Smyyth? 

You rack your mind for other ways of making Will Smith a valid troll name, concentration evident on your face. 

Lanque looks at you like you’re an idiot. “What the fuck are you talking about? You're just repeating the same name.”

The spelling? You narrow your eyes as you consider the spelling. It is the clearest thing in the world right now to you. It’s spelled different Lanque.

“I can’t hear how it’s spelled.”

Daraya’s eyes widen. "▲▲ They fried their fucking pan ▼▼ " 

You still don’t know what sun sickness is, but you strongly suspect you may have it, especially since most of what happened afterwards was kind of a blur. 

What you think you can remember is the sound of someone coming. Quick, determined footsteps that you couldn’t recognize, but Lynera clearly could as she stiffened first. She maybe said something about Bronya doing a curfew round? You think? Either way, it had everyone else on immediate edge and was enough for Lanque to decide this wasn’t worth staying awake for. He made a final comment and you heard a door shut, leaving your trio behind. 

Daraya and Lynera exchanged words, finally remembering the “whisper” part of whisper yelling. They came to an agreement of some sort with Lynera nodding and heading to her studyblock and Daraya going off in the direction of what was probably Bronya.

Mentally, you are pressing F to pay your respects. Physically though, you register your orientation rapidly shifting. While you weren’t crazy about your position over Lynera's shoulder, what with her sweater vest grating against your torso and all, it turns out you enjoyed being moved out of it even less. The blood running away from your head had you feeling woozy in a whole new way.

To her credit, Lynera did not just immediately dunk you into the recuperacoon a la Space Jam like you’re sure she wanted to. She instead carefully lets you sink into it with a gentleness that starkly contrasted her worry. Normally, you would say that being put into a vat of slime is not an experience you would be looking forward to. Right now though, you’re loving it. It is an absolute godsend as it acts a cool balm against your skin.

Lynera continues and gingerly removes your shades and places them on an end table next to your sunhat. You were about to thank her and let her know she was in fact “a real one,” but you got cut off by her grabbing a handful of slime and smearing it on your face. 

You sputter and instinctively try to move away, but you’re no match for her. She’s dealt with fussy grubs with sharp teeth for way too long to actually be deterred by your feeble efforts to resist. You don’t know how you’d rate the experience between, “children haphazardly covering you in slick grease paint” to “alien clay mask ensuring you don’t have enough skin to even entertain having clogged pores,” but you aren’t in a position to be opposed to it. It actually feels kinda nice when it’s in a smooth, even layer and not a huge fucking dollop on your face. 

When she’s done, she wipes her hands while saying something to you. You don’t really register it, so you just kinda smile and nod. It’s your usual go to when you aren’t quite sure what is happening around you and it hasn’t led you too astray in the very many times you’ve done it. You’ll just ask her what she said in the evening.

Lynera seems pleased and starts moving to turn off the lights. Before she does, you thank her. She smiles at you, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and glances back at you as she goes, leaving you feeling warm inside and out for two extremely different reasons. 

You settle down, trying to get cozy. You're not going to pretend you know much about sopor slime. You assumed it comes from a plant and haven't tried to confirm that little theory of yours because you need to believe that for your own sake. It's plant goo. From some kind of alien aloe vera or something. An extremely fleshy plant just ripe with goo for the taking. If you ever learn otherwise, no you didn't. 

After you wake up and wipe off the slime, you find that you’ve healed surprisingly quickly. You’re still very tender to the touch, you find that out real fast, but your skin looks a lot less irritated than when you last saw it. This bit of good news and vitamin d that you assume you now have coursing through your veins that hopefully was not mostly used up on healing your skin, puts a little pep in your step as you get ready for the night. Before you exit the caverns, you feel a pang of hunger.

You can practically hear Bronya reminding you how breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you walk into the meal block, figuring that no one would mind too much if you grabbed a breakfast bar or two before you left. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and find the ones that kind of taste like peanut butter and are crunchy for reasons you’d rather not identify. You aren’t alone when you enter. Lanque is there, sitting at a table. He looks up from his palm husk and eyes you.

“Did you change color?”

Yeah. Humans being exposed to sunlight makes them create a protective pigment so they're more able to be exposed to the sun.

“I’m fascinated.” he says, anything but. “So you're going to turn jade?” 

No, more of a slightly darker version of what you are now. 

He hums, now totally disinterested and looking back down at his chittr feed. Guess the limits of your rainbowdrinker like attributes have worn off on him. 

Anyways, this just means that this will be easier next time you go out during the day. 

That statement gives him pause. Lanque looks up from his palm husk, looking out before glancing at you dubiously. 

"Next time?" 

[hailing-stars]

@febuwhump day 21: torture

a phone call away 

summary

“Tony,” he said. He opened both eyes just as Tony put the Gatorade and the pills on the bedside table. “What happened?”

“Don’t remember?” asked Tony, with a smirk that told Peter doom was imminent.

Peter stared at the Gatorade bottle, then looked down at the bright red cast on his arm. He wondered how he was expected to open bottles using only one hand. “This really sucks.”

“Yep,” said Tony. “Sounds about right. That’s what happens when you drink half your weight in alcohol.”

OR

Peter copes with his post-snap trauma by drinking. Tony worries, and helps. 

Peter opened his eyes, only to quickly shut them after being assaulted by the lights.

His headache blared to life, and his right arm was encased in a cast. He couldn’t remember what he’d done to earn this trouble. What he’d done to merit this rude awakening in Avengers Tower medbay, but he had a sinking suspicion it had all started with Flash and Abe bringing out the keg.

He groaned and pushed his head into the pillow and wished he was literally anywhere else.

“He’s alive.”

Peter popped one eye open and saw Tony by the doorway with Gatorade and a bottle of pain relievers in his hands.

“Tony,” he said. He opened both eyes just as Tony put the Gatorade and the pills on the bedside table. “What happened?”

“Don’t remember?” asked Tony, with a smirk that told Peter doom was imminent.

Peter stared at the Gatorade bottle, then looked down at the bright red cast on his arm. He wondered how he was expected to open bottles using only one hand. “This really sucks.”

“Yep,” said Tony. “Sounds about right. That’s what happens when you drink half your weight in alcohol.”

A memory hit him. One of the white hot pain in his arm, and one of having his head in the toilet, puking, while Tony hovered somewhere above him telling him to get it all out.

Peter groaned again. Maybe it was better not to remember.

“From the baby-monitor cam-”

“-really wish you’d stop calling it that-”

“-it looks like you were swinging under the influence,” said Tony, ignoring his complaint about the name, “and at some point you swung into a building, fell, hit the sidewalk and landed on your arm, all before trying to fight a trash can.”

“Did I at least win the fight?” asked Peter, miserably.

“You tell me.”

It was obvious, even to Peter, that he’d lost.

Peter vaguely remembered a swirl of streetlights, the impact of a brick wall, and flailing his legs and arms as he fell. It was clear from his harsh landing on the pavement that in his drunken state he hadn’t been quick enough to save himself from the fall with his web shooters.

“And if you’re a little foggy on the first part of your evening,” said Tony. “You might wanna turn your attention to Thomson’s Instagram.”

Peter closed his eyes, and muttered, “He didn’t.”

“Oh, he did,” said Tony.

“I’m gonna kill Flash.”

“If May doesn’t kill you first,” said Tony. “Or me, for that matter. What were you thinking?”

“I dunno. Maybe I wasn’t. It was just, a party, you know? It was fun. Was being the keyword I think,” said Peter. He lifted up his broken arm. “This definitely isn’t fun. How long do I have to have this on?”

“Forever.”

“Funny,” said Peter. He sighed. “So much for super healing.”

“Yeah, well, all that alcohol probably put a damper on your freaky spidey healing, so you’re just gonna have to heal like us normal folks, at least for a couple of days,” said Tony. “Which is just as well considering your aunt is probably gonna ground you.”

Peter groaned, threw his head back into his pillows, and stared at the unattainable, frosty Gatorade bottle. He tried to ignore his pounding headache, the way his eyes hurt and begged for the lights to be dimmed.

This hangover was torture. Though he probably deserved it.

“Do you mind, uh, opening that?” asked Peter, pointing at the Gatorade with his free hand.

Tony took the bottle from the nightstand, opened it, and handed it to Peter, who accepted it with his good hand and gulped down half the Gatorade in one drink. He left it open when he put it back down on the nightstand.

“Are you sure this was really just about a party?” started Tony. “That you really just having fun, because I -”

“-Tonnnyyyyy,” said Peter. The headache was torturous enough. He didn’t need a lecture to come with it.

“Kid, I’m just saying,” said Tony. “Take it from someone who was lucky Instagram didn’t exist during his party years.”

“I’m not you.”

“I know you aren’t,” said Tony. “But it can happen to the best of us, and Pete, this is the third time in a month you’ve been caught with alcohol. I’m supposed to believe there were times you weren’t caught?”

“You’re not supposed to believe anything,” said Peter. He closed his eyes, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Can you dim the lights, please?”

Tony did what Peter asked, and dimed the lights. He sat back down in the bedside chair with a sigh. “I’m just worried about you. This isn’t like you at all -”

“-Can I please just rest?”

“Fine,” said Tony. “Fine. But we’re gonna have to talk about this sooner or later, and you know, I’m always a phone call away.”

Peter didn’t open his eyes again until he heard the doors just, until Tony was gone, and he was no longer at risk of having to talk about things.

*

Peter was supposed to be grounded.

May had reacted exactly the way Tony had told him she would, and sentenced him to two weeks in his apartment with only schoolwork and chores to keep him company. Chores that he couldn’t even properly do with one arm.

That hadn’t been such a big deal after a couple of days, which was the amount of time it had taken Peter’s arm to heal and for his cast to get taken off.

And when his arm became free, breaking grounding became easier, so he did, to escape his quiet apartment and his loud and menacing and threatening thoughts.

He crashed a party.

Someone at Midtown hosted it. He didn’t know who, really, and didn’t care to ask. He noticed none of his circle were around. Not even Flash, who usually got invited to every party and rarely turned down an invitation. He didn’t like it. The way parties and large rooms felt lonely and desert when they were absent of his friends.

Peter stayed only long enough to get a buzz going. It wasn’t the good kind, either. His thoughts stayed loud, only they were also swimming, and he’s sloppy as he stumbles around on the dark, New York street.

It occurred to him that was lost, and he was hit with that familiar dread that had occupied him while he was in space. That he may never get home. That he might disappear into the wind before he’s got the chance.

He shook and his breath came fast. He sweated, and wanted to cry, and wanted to be back in his bed or just stay in his apartment, watching TV with May.

“You know, I’m always a phone call away.”

The memory of Tony’s words broke him out of his panic, and slipped his hand into his pocket and fumbled around with his phone until he managed to press on Tony’s contact.

“Peter? What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” said Peter. He didn’t like the sound of his own voice. How desperate it sounded.

“It’s okay,” said Tony. “Where are you?”

“Lost.”

“Sit tight, alright? I’m gonna find you.”

They hung up, and Peter sat on a bench under a streetlight. He waited.

*

Peter didn’t throw up, but he wished he could.

He woke up the next day at Tony’s penthouse. He was nauseous, and shivered, even from under a pile of blankets, and he wished desperately that he could forget the night before. That wasn’t possible. His memories might have gaps in them, but he’ll never forget the paralyzing fear of being moments away from vanishing.

Tony must have been alerted that he’d woken up, because he pushed open the door to the guest room almost immediately.

“How’re you feeling?”

Peter sat up, slowly, and hugged the blankets closer to his body. “Like shit.”

“Sounds about right,” said Tony. “We still gotta talk about it, though. I let it slide last time, and it was a mistake.”

“My mistake,” said Peter. He shivered. “And don’t worry. I’m never going to drink again. Not after last night.”

Tony let the uncomfortable silence settle over them, and Peter didn’t like it. He had to fill the air with his explanation.

“Maybe I was using alcohol to escape,” he admitted. “You know it’s like sometimes my head is just so loud, and it feels like I’m going to be obliterated at any second, and alcohol numbed that. Made me forget.”

“Until it didn’t?” Tony had phrased it as a question, but Peter had no doubt the man knew where it was going. That maybe he’d been there and experienced it himself.

“Yeah,” said Peter. “Last night it just made anything worse.”

“That happens,” said Tony. “Alcohol magnifies your emotions. Not a great way to deal with your trauma.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

Tony squeezed his shoulder in a sign of support, and there was relief written on his face. As if he’d been worried that entire time, but instead of helicoptering over him, had let him work it out on their own. Maybe they were both growing.

“Now the question is,” said Tony. “How do we prevent it from happening again?”

“I’m never going to-”

“-but you might. Shit happens, and if you don’t figure out a way to deal with these feelings, they’ll eat you alive, or make you turn to some pretty desperate solutions.”

“Talking to you and May helps.”

“Yeah,” said Tony. “But I think you may need to talk to someone else, like a professional.”

“You want me to go to therapy?”

“I think it would help you,” said Tony. “I speak from experience, I go, and it helps me, and if it can help me, it’ll help anyone.” He paused, chewed on his lip. “And hey, you’ll have someone to complain about me to.”

Peter laughed. “I don’t know if any therapist has that much time or patience.”

“Brat.”

“Just being honest,” said Peter.

“I’m gonna make you an appointment,” said Tony, quickly, before Peter could even properly make a decision either way.

“Yeah, okay,” said Peter.

He didn’t know if he would’ve agreed if Tony hadn’t made his choice so easy and clear, and although he was sure therapy would be difficult, he was content, thankful even, that he had people like Tony pointing him in the right direction.

[ransomedrogue]

okay so I finally made one of these to participate in the rewatch. just figuring it all out now that fic is finally ready to post. hopefully there will be a scene per episode but no promises!

###

Tales of Woe - Scenes from S1

1.1

She had finally had enough.

After dozens of questions and just one response, the nameless woman tore the sensors off her fingers and called the whole thing to a halt. She didn't know anything, yet she knew that this was pointless; and that she was done being a specimen, letting these people do whatever they wanted to her.

"I want to speak to someone in charge," she stated once more, more fiercely this time.

She felt better just having made the demand. And at least it made something happen; the man with the machine left and she was alone for awhile, her head full of the same sorts of questions the man had just asked.

Who was she?

What had happened to her?

Why the tattoos?

But she didn't have any answers other than the one she'd offered the man with the machine. Her mind was still a complete blank and the stark interrogation room just made the woman feel small and anxious about everything she didn't know.

She was clearly under suspicion but she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. Her only memories were a blur of being naked and yelled at, shaking under a thousand lights. Then there was the onslaught of tests, being dragged around like a rag doll as her brain tried to catch up to what was going on.

Finally, the door opened again and she looked up to see a different man walk in. This agent was bearded and a bit stern looking, but when he got closer she thought his blue eyes seemed sympathetic. Yet she still wondered what he was going to demand of her, if he was going to be as pointless as the last guy.

"I'm Special Agent Kurt Weller," he said. "I'm the lead agent on your case."

The memory-less woman felt a flash of satisfaction, realizing that her demand had been met. But that was quickly washed away by the flood of questions rushing through her mind.

She asked him the most important ones - if they knew what was going on, who she was. But, frustratingly, the agent didn't have any answers for her. Instead, he told her that they hadn't been able to identify her through any of the usual means, despite all the testing they had done.

The woman was disappointed but not surprised. Somehow she'd known that it wouldn't be that easy - someone had gone to a lot of trouble to do this to her.

She was surprised though, when the agent asked her if she recognized him. Especially because he seemed a little uncomfortable with the question himself; sounding as if he was unsure how to even ask it.

To her, the question was absurd. Hadn't she made it clear that she didn't know anything or anyone?

"I don't even recognize me," she replied.

That's when he dropped the first real bomb in her relatively short memory, causing a seismic shift in her understanding of the situation. Telling her that he might somehow be familiar to her, even though he didn't know her. Because his name was tattooed in large print across her back.

Even without much context or experience, she'd come to understand that the tattoos which covered her were not at all normal and a major part of whatever was happening to her. But all of the ones she'd examined were just random patterns and pictures. Nothing nearly as obvious as the huge letters stamped across her back.

The woman started to panic, questions and anxiety flooding through her. How could it be that she knew him well enough to have his name tattooed on her and he didn't know her at all?

But the agent had asked her to try to find some familiarity in him and he had asked kindly, without making it a demand. Which, at least, was different than anything that had happened since she woke up in a bag, without a single memory in her head.

She reached out cautiously, putting one hand on his, then lifting the other to his stubbled cheek. The idea of touching someone else, instead of being the one touched - even that was something new. The agent looked uncomfortable with the situation but let her continue her exploration of his features until her fingers drifted over his eyebrow and he finally flinched.

Disappointingly, her hands didn't know him anymore than her mind did. There was nothing but a total blank as he pulled her hand away, looking a bit embarrassed at having just been examined so intimately.

"Anything?" he asked.

She told him no and could tell that he wasn't surprised. Though he did still look a little flustered at what had passed between them and switched straight into Agent-mode when she asked what would happen to her next.

He said something about releasing photos of her to the media to try and gather tips about who she could be. Which was, even to her, pretty obviously the next step in trying to figure out her identity.

But she was starting to understand that there weren't likely to be any easy answers. Clearly, the agents weren't going to quickly identify her and bring her home to her family. Which then made her wonder what was going to happen to her now that the FBI finally seemed done with their questions. How long was she going to be stuck in that sterile room?

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean what happens right now? I don't have anywhere to go."

The agent looked surprised at her question, as if just realizing her situation. The nameless woman tried not to feel so vulnerable, even though she was completely reliant on people with unknown intentions. It was hard to hold it together though when she was so alone and adrift, without a single memory to tether herself to. Lost and detached from anything; born into a world of people that only seemed to see her as a dangerous commodity.

Suddenly she felt completely drained, both physically and emotionally exhausted from her nightmarish experience. She wanted to curl into a corner of the cold metal room and shut her eyes until someone could help her, tell her who she was. But she was at the mercy of this agent, with no idea what she was allowed to do in this strange existence.

Agent Weller gave her a worried look, as if he could feel her need bleeding through her words. Then he pulled out his phone and started sending typing some messages, groaning to himself as he received a response he clearly didn't like.

"We're working on finding you a place to stay but it's not going to be ready for another hour or two. I'm sorry ma'am, but you'll have to wait here until it's all set up."

The woman shuddered, hating the thought of being stuck in that room alone with her thoughts for another minute, let alone two hours. Her mind was a swirl of endless questions, the kind that led straight into despair. She wondered how to tell the agent that she was going to lose it if he left her there but then felt pathetic just thinking about admitting it.

The woman started to panic as she realized again how little control she had over her situation. The agent could leave her in that room for as long as he wanted to - she had no reason to trust what he said. Even though she wanted to believe he would help her, she'd also been quite irritated by the way the FBI had treated thus far.

But just as her thoughts began to spiral out of control, Agent Weller surprised her by reaching over and taking her hand in his. In fact, the agent seemed equally befuddled with his own action, frowning down at their enjoined hands before looking up at her in concern.

His next words were a miracle though, as if he were reading her thoughts. For the first time in her short memory she actually felt seen, despite all the previous examinations.

"Hey. Do you want to get out of here?"

Maybe she hadn't recognized him, maybe she never would. But he had understood her need and she was immensely grateful for that.

She needed something to hold onto. And maybe, just maybe, that something was the stern-but-gentle agent who was still nervously squeezing her hand.

###

His Jane Doe was about to lose it.

Even without knowing her at all, Agent Weller could easily see the anxiety take over her body after he told her about the delay in finding her accommodations. Which made a lot of sense as soon as he realized how long she'd already been in rooms just like that one, getting bombarded with tests and questions that she had no answers for. Not to mention the situation she found herself in - alone in an unfamiliar world with no memories or sense of self.

What didn't make any sense was the way Weller automatically reached for the mystery woman's hand, curling her fingers into his palm in an attempt to settle her. Despite her physical examination of him, there was no reason to think she would invite his touch. Also, it was most definitely not amongst his usual tactics. On the contrary, Weller was normally quite reserved with his manners, careful to maintain appropriate contact in all of his interactions, especially when it came to gorgeous victims in his cases.

But she was panicking and looked like she was about to crumble into herself. The terrified look on her face was breaking his heart and Weller suddenly realized that he'd just condemned her to more hours in that sterile room, with the intense lighting and distinct air of criminality. No wonder she looked so on edge, about to teeter into an emotional abyss.

Shit, he thought. He should have considered her prior experience before telling her she had to remain in interrogation like a prisoner. Not that there were a lot of options for what to do with her until the safe house was cleaned and ready. But he had to do something to resolve her obvious anxiety. Even if it meant breaking his usual rules.

"Hey. Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, the thought tumbling out of his mouth before it was even fully formed.

But any regrets about his impromptu offer were instantly pushed aside by the spark of hope his words elicited from the woman's troubled green eyes. She looked at him with a heady mixture of surprise and relief that filled his chest with sugary satisfaction.

"Where would we go?" she asked, still wary but already visibly calmer from his suggestion.

Damn, he hadn't exactly thought that far yet.

There certainly wasn't protocol for a situation like that, so Weller just did his best to think about what he would want after being cooped up in windowless rooms for an entire day.

"Outside?" he suggested. "We could go for a walk."

Her eyes flickered nervously again, then brightened with hope as she nodded shyly.

Weller felt extremely pleased with himself, far more than he should have been, as he led the tattooed woman out of the interrogation room and into the elevator. He really should have been formulating a good excuse for what he was doing but instead Weller just texted Mayfair a brief update that did not explain why he was personally escorting their asset outside the building until her safe house was ready.

The benefit of having a superior that trusts you, he thought wryly.

But then, more soberly, Weller reminded himself that he only held that trust because he never did stuff like that. He was always sure to play within the rules and, therefore, his word held a lot of weight with Mayfair.

Again he asked himself what the hell he was thinking. He'd known this woman for less than a half hour and his usual rock solid professional boundaries were already wavering.

But there she was, standing rigidly beside him in the elevator, chewing her lower lip nervously. Weller tried to convince himself that it was all just because she'd needed help and he was wired to protect. Though he'd done the job long enough to know that his near instantaneous attachment to this victim was more than that, something he'd never experienced before.

Inappropriate conduct Weller, he silently scolded himself, in a mock military academy tone.

But then the elevator reached the ground floor and Weller glanced over at the nameless woman, who was still obviously tense, her eyes flickering up at him hopefully. Quickly he shrugged off the mental reprimand; when he looked at her, there was no doubt in his mind that he was doing the right thing, even if it wasn't exactly consistent with protocol.

His thought was further confirmed as they approached the exit and she became visibly calmer, even offering him a tentative smile as he led her out the door, his arm hovering protectively behind her back. Then, when they stepped outside the building, she turned her eyes towards the street and took a deep breath in, wrinkling her nose a little at the odorous city air.

Weller grinned at the mixture of joy and relief on the woman's face as she stared wide-eyed at her surroundings; first taking in all the people on the street before looking up at the skyscrapers in awe. He let her just stand there and take it all in for a moment before gently directing her towards the closest green space he could think of, a small park in amongst the concrete jungle of lower Manhattan.

It was quiet in the park, as quiet as his Jane Doe. She hadn't said a word since they left the NYO, though her body language had gradually loosened up during the walk. Weller wondered what she was thinking about but held himself back from asking. He wanted to give her a chance to decompress after everything she'd just been through, not make her feel pressured to talk.

They reached the end of the grassy area and, again, he wasn't sure what to do. There was still a lot of time to kill before they needed to be back at the NYO.

"Do you want to sit? Or keep walking?" he asked.

It was just a simple question, but Weller hoped that offering her a choice would give her a small sense of control.

He watched her think for a moment, tilt her head just so. It was almost impossible not to stare at the bird tattoo on her neck, watch the way it moved with her skin.

Having your whole body tattooed against your will was such an invasion he couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt about it. But Weller also couldn't help thinking about how aesthetically eye-catching some of was.

AKA, fucking hot.

The thought came to him completely unbidden, forcing Weller to take his eyes off her skin as he chastised himself strongly. Learning to stay emotionally detached from victims in his cases was one of the first things he'd had to figure out as a rookie agent. Nowadays, he didn't have problems with that anymore, except in cases involving little girls. But the woman beside him was making his chest ache with her innocent vulnerability and all Kurt could do was tell himself to calm the hell down and keep things professional.

"Let's walk," she finally answered, shivering a little as the sun dropped behind a building.

Weller realized that he'd brought her out in just a tank top and immediately felt like a total idiot. He hadn't thought to grab her a jacket because he'd already been flustered with his own actions and it had been warm out when they left the NYO.

Plus, it was odd having to dress an adult, he figured. Though he still felt negligent for not having thought of it earlier.

Taking off his suit jacket, Weller draped it over the woman's bare shoulders and she flashed him another thankful look. Idly, he wondered if she appreciated more than just the warmth of his coat - if she'd been feeling too exposed in just her tattooed skin. Especially after already having been scrutinized for hours by strangers.

They continued walking away from the park and Weller kept having to remind himself not to stare. But now it wasn't the tattoos that kept tugging at his eye; he just felt drawn to the woman in a way he couldn't explain.

Obviously there was the mystery of his name in large letters on her back. That would be intriguing in any circumstance. But it was more than that - for instance, he was out walking with her instead of tending to all the things he should have been doing. Which was definitely not usual Kurt Weller behaviour. He was known as a workaholic for a reason and set the example for his team to follow. So he should be at his desk, finishing up the paperwork for that raid in Kentucky and then catching up on this tattoo case.

And yet, there he was, strolling the streets of lower Manhattan with a memoryless stranger and all Weller was sure of anymore was that he needed to protect her. He had no idea what had happened to her, what her future held. But he was going to figure it out and help her not look so lost.

Walking in silence seemed to help calm her so they kept going until they were almost at the water, at the tip of Manhattan. Then, when they couldn't walk any further, they stopped, looking out over the bay.

Weller looked at his Jane Doe as she stood there, seeming adrift in her thoughts. Which wasn't surprising of course. She had to have so much going on in her mind, all that wondering about who she was and why this was happening to her. And even though he felt like he should say something to break the quiet, Weller couldn't think of anything that didn't sound stupid or insensitive to what she was going through.

While he was still searching for the right words, she turned to him, her expression suddenly anxious again. Then an onslaught of questions poured out of her like an emotional dam in her had finally been broken.

"What if I never find out who I am? Why this happened to me?" she asked.

"What if I never remember anything? And I'm just stuck with these tattoos and no life and no one who knows me? What am I going to do?

She was getting visibly agitated again, biting down hard on her lower lip. Her eyes were wide and scared, begging him for an answer.

Weller had the oddest instinct to wrap his arms around her from behind, hold her until she calmed. But of course he didn't actually do that, would never behave that way with a complete stranger.

Briefly his mind flashed back to the interrogation room, the way he'd automatically taken her hand to help settle her panic. Flushing with embarrassment at his breach of etiquette and the tingle he felt even thinking back to it, Kurt reminded himself that she was the vulnerable victim of a crime and he had to be extremely careful not to abuse his position of power.

Still, he couldn't help but stand right up beside her, close enough that her shoulder touched up against his. Weller told himself it was just to ground her with some human contact and remind her that he was there with her. Yet immediately he again found himself yearning to put his arm around her, and again he had to vehemently tell himself no. And then, somehow, as if he had no control over what was happening, his arm was draped around her shoulders, completely disregarding everything in his usual moral code.

She tensed at his touch and Weller cursed himself silently for whatever had possessed him to do it. But when he started to take his arm away, she moved even closer and leaned up against him.

"No, please don't," she said.

Well that sold it. Weller replaced his arm on her shoulders, wrapping his hand around her right bicep. He noticed that she was strong, seemingly made of muscle, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze on the arm. Which won him an upward look and a timid grin that jabbed at his heart.

She still looked so lost and he didn't know what he could say to make anything better for her. But Weller knew that he had to at least try and alleviate her worries, make some sort of effort to show her how much he wanted to help. So he did his best to gather up some words, hoping that they didn't sound too trite.

"I know you feel very alone and scared about what's happening to you. But you're not alone, I'm here to help you. And I don't have any answers for you yet but I promise, if there's any way out there to figure out who you are, my team will find it."

His attempt at comfort was met with a furrowed brow and skeptical eyes. She obviously didn't completely believe him, yet she seemed content to stand much too close and Weller found himself rubbing her arm absently as she continued to study him carefully.

"You trust your team a lot," she finally said, in an unreadable tone.

"They're the best," Weller replied, with full confidence.

"Shouldn't you be with them? Figuring this all out?"

Weller froze. She was right, of course. He should be at the NYO, working on her case. Under no circumstance was his current behaviour appropriate.

Instantly he felt called out; completely exposed. The woman was looking at him with an unreadable expression, somewhere between a frown and a smirk. Part of him thought she was poking fun at him while the other part thought she was being seriously critical about his dedication to solving her case.

He was still speechless and trying to come up with a suitable answer when she surprised him yet again by edging further into him and tentatively resting her head against his shoulder.

"Don't look so worried. I was just kidding," she said.

"I know you didn't have to take me out here, I'm sure you have a million things to do. But thank you, this is exactly what I needed."

The look of gratefulness on her face was Kurt Weller fuel. He was a fixer; and at that moment there was absolutely nothing else he wanted to fix.

So, even if he hadn't found out anything about who she was, at least she was standing by the waterside, joking with him and no longer looking so terrified. In that way, he'd already won the day.

"I know I'm just another stranger but if there's anything you need I'm here for you," he said.

Again she didn't say anything for awhile, but seemed happy to just stand there, leaning against him. Then, just as he thought that she was done talking, she looked up at him with serious eyes.

"You're not a stranger. You're the lead agent on my case," she said thoughtfully.

"And we went for a walk together the day we met."

That earned her a full on grin, one that Kurt didn't see coming at at all. The firecracker that erupted in his chest from her comment was especially very unlike himself, far more emotional than he was used to feeling.

Which again told him that the situation was off, that he was acting bizarrely. But what was worse, he didn't care. Despite everything, Weller looked down at the woman in his arms and knew that he was exactly where he needed to be.

[writingfromkitchenator]

Oh Grey Warden

A Dragon Age Fanfic

Masterlist

The Iron Bull x M!Dwarf Inquisitor

Words: 1,785

Warnings: Mild angst, mention of parental loss, mention of old injuries, fluff

“Ah, Chief?”

Bull looked up from his empty tankard, one that he’d been staring at, a little lost in thought.  As he looked at Krem, the sorrowful notes from the bard caught his ear, but he didn’t pay it much mind, as Krem was looking unsure.

The uncertainty wasn’t like Krem, and this had Bull worried almost instantly.  “What’s wrong?”

Krem licked his lips and his eyes flickered over to the other side of the tavern, Bull quickly taking the hint and following his gaze.

Tiadith stood there, looking a little lost, his eyes staring at nothing as the words of the song seemed to wash over him, and it was only as Bull watched grief pain his expression, that he paid attention to the song.

Oh, Grey Warden,

What have you done?

The oath you have taken

Is all but broken.

All is undone.

Ash in the sun,

Cast into darkness

The light we had won.

Bull frowned a little as he watched Tiadith seem to slump as the song ended.  He knew that what had happened at Adamant had not been easy, that it would have lasting consequences on everyone that had been there, but he’d never expected to see this type of reaction from their Inquisitor.

Tiadith seemed to pull himself from his trance, shaking his head a little, and in doing so, he found Bull watching him.  With a deep breath, he took a hesitant step forward, before shaking his head more violently, and marching himself out of the tavern.

“Crap,” Bull said.  “Is that the first time he’s heard the song?”

Krem nods slowly.  “I think so, but he’s never given me the impression that it was affecting him like that.

Bull grunts with worry and gets to his feet.  “There’s more to it than that, I think.”

“It was…unnerving seeing him so lost.”  Krem said quietly.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that.”

“Me either,” Bull agreed. “Leave it with me.”

Skyhold was a large place to try and hunt down one dwarf would’ve been a task in itself, but luckily for Bull, Tiadith was easily recognisable, and with only a few questions on the way, he soon found he’d retreated to his room.

Bull took the stairs up slowly, a little worried when he was greeted by silence, and he quickly took in the empty room at the top of the stairs.  “Boss?”

“I’m out here Bull.” Tiadith’s voice came from the balcony.

He was seated on the railing, back against the wall, his eyes on the distant mountains, his expression drawn, even under his beard, and Bull couldn’t help but give a concerned frown. “Are you alright?”

Tiadith sighed heavily, closing his eyes.  “Not really.”

Bull leans against the railing next to him, watching him carefully.  “What’s going on?”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” He said.  “I’ll be alright.”

“Bullshit,” Bull said quietly.  “I’ve never seen you react like that.  Out of all the decisions you’ve made, all the things that we’ve had to do, what made you stop at the words of a song?”

Tiadith is quiet for a long moment, keeping his eyes closed as he breathed deeply, using the fresh air to try and clear his head.  As a shudder goes through him though, it was clear it wasn’t working.  “This…this can’t go beyond us Bull.  I kept this…to myself because I didn’t know how others would react at first, but when the Grey Wardens plans became known…”

This threw Bull for a moment, although he didn’t let it show.  “What connection do you have with the Wardens?”

He looks at him, his eyes intense.  “Promise me this doesn’t go beyond us Bull.  I mean it.”

Bull gives him a wry smile. “I know you’ll put an arrow between my eyes if it does.”

Tiadith stares at him for a moment before sighing and looking away again.  “My…father…was a warden.  He died during the battle of Ostagar.  I’d hate to think of what he’d think of all of this.  There’s an…irony involved in being glad that he didn’t live to see it.”

This hadn’t been what Bull was expecting, but now it made sense why he was acting the way he was. “You were close to him.”

“As close as I could be in the Carta,” Tiadith gives a small smile.  “And when you’re too young to really understand what your father was doing. I was only just starting too when we heard that there’d been a cave in during the lyrium run that he was on.  We thought he was dead.”

“What happened?”  Bull asked.

“It was a couple of years before we heard anything,” Tiadith said.  “By then, I was old enough to start doing my own work in the Carta, small tasks here and there thinking it was the only way my life could go.  He sent a letter explaining, as best he was allowed, about what had happened.  That letter…it changed my life Bull, it suddenly gave me something to reach for, no matter how far that seemed.”

Bull thought for a moment, watching as Tiadith looked away, facing out over the mountains.  "I’m not going to try and guess what this has been like for you boss, especially if you looked up to the wardens like that.”

Tiadath gives a soft laugh. “I only ever met him once more after that, even though we talked in letters back and forth, but that one meeting…that one meeting just set me in my dream of doing more.”  He sniffed.  “I never would’ve dreamed it would’ve turned out lie this.  Ever since the Blight, I feel like dream has just gotten further and further away from me and that-that song was like a final confirmation that everything that happened recently, was very much real.”

He’d known Tiadith long enough now to know that he was referring to his own experience in the Blight, having been in Fereldan for the Carta when it hit, and getting wounded that left him unable to wield a sword as he’d been trained.  Bull had seen the deep scar himself, running from his shoulder down to his side, and he’d often wondered how he could even wield a bow.

But this made even more sense now, learning that his father had died, and the dream of following in his footsteps slowly slipped more and more through his fingers as the world slowly seemed to go further and further into shit.

“I’m sorry Bull,” Tiadith said.  “It wasn’t my intention to throw all this on you, or to even let anyone see me like this. It just hit me hard in there.  I guess pushing it to the back of my mind long enough, I finally let it crack through.”

“You don’t have to apologise to me,” Bull said, giving him a nudge and a smile.  “You need to get this off your chest and I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t willing to listen.”

Tiadith gives a small laugh, dropping his head.  “Thanks. That’s an irony in itself considering who you are.”

Bull snorts.  “If that really bothered you, you wouldn’t have flirted with me so much.”

He chuckles and then leans against him, his head resting on his shoulder.  “Who does that say more for?  You or me?”

Bull wraps his arms around him.  “Take your pick, I’m not fussed.”

They stay like that for a long moment, looking out over the mountains.  Bull knew that Tiadith would talk when he was ready.

“I don’t know how to keep going Bull,” He said softly.  “I don’t know how much more I can take.  I feel like I’m going to break and I don’t know if there’s a way back from that.  I always thought that I’d be ready for such a life, prepared to do anything, but all this…all these things happening, especially with the Wardens, it’s just made me question…”

Bull hummed thoughtfully for a moment.  “Did you need me to take care of anything?”

Tiadith shook his head. “It’s not that kind of problem Bull. It’s just…dealing with the reality of it all after having expectations for so long.  I’ll be alright eventually.”

Bull sighed and rested his head atop of Tiadith’s.  “You know, you don’t have to do this alone.  I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon.”

He goes silent again and Bull can practically feel the emotions simmering away, and with a grunt, he bundles Tiadith into his arms, carrying him back into the bedroom.

“Bull-”

“Shush, I’m not going to just have you sitting on the edge like that all day.  Makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m not going to do anything,” Tiadith looks at him as Bull puts him down on the bed, a small smile tugged at his lips.  “I quite often sit out there.”

“I know,” Bull grunts, sitting on the bed next to him.  “And I don’t like it even then.  What if a strong wind comes through and blows you right off?”

Tiadith chuckles, shaking head.  “I have much better balance than that, you watch me leap out of range of enemies enough. I haven’t fallen off anything since I learnt to properly do that.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it all the same.”  Bull said softly.  “Now, come here.”

Bull stretches back out onto the bed, opening his arms up with a grin, Tiadith returning it, shaking his head and moving to his side, cuddling into him.

“Admit it,” Tiadith said quietly, closing his eyes.  “You just wanted a cuddle.”

“Maybe,” Bull said.  “But I also know you need this, and right now, that’s all I care about.”

Tiadith sighs contently. “Thanks Bull.”

“Anytime,” Bull gave him a soft smile, even though his eyes were closed.  “And I’ll make sure that Maryden knows not to play that one around you.”

“Won’t that get people talking?”

“They talk anyway, Boss. You should hear some of the rumours about us.”

Tiadith snorts.  “I have.”

“And?”

“I’m incredibly amused at how invested people are in our sex life.  You’d almost think none of them were getting any themselves.  Some of the things I’ve heard about what we supposedly get up to.”

“Did you hear about the in front of the fireplace?”

“That seems to be the popular one.  I’m blaming Dorian or Sera for starting it.”

“It was definitely Sera.”

The two of them started laughing after a moment, and Tiadith finally felt himself at ease again, the memory of the Wardens pushed back aside, although, the memories he had of his father still lingered, as he had been since they learned of the Grey Warden’s involvement.

“Bull?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

[kureis-writing-hell]

Cleaning

First || Previous

Nao figures out that normal counsoling he was taught wasn't going to work woth Chisaki. He's changing his aproach. And Kai seems to do so as well. Prompt taken from this list.

In which Chisaki Kai goes through therapy!

When Nao came for his meeting with Chisaki he was stopped and told to wait. It worried him at first but then he was told that it was a cleaning day and he came while Chisaki’s cell was still undone. Not having much to do he went to the observation room, curious of how the process was executed in a prison like Tartarus. Having a permit and already being recognized by most of the guards, Nao entered the room.

And almost took a step back.

It wasn’t the fact that on one of the screens he could see an inmate being held down on long, metal rods. It wasn’t even the fact that he could see another inmate being stripped in their cell for god knows what reason. It was the fact that his patient, Chisaki, was cornered by two guards and looked detached while the third aggressively changed his sheets. Nao held back the urge to turn around and storm there, to yell at them for treating Chisaki like that. It took Nao over a month for the man to finally start opening, it was a huge progress and now Chisaki looked like he was going to shut down again.

"Nao! Hi!"

Nao flinched and looked at the guard that greeted him. He smiled at the other man and made a little wave of his hand.

"Hi. Sorry, I was told to wait."

"Yeah but they're finishing. I think you can go now." The guard waved at him and Nao nodded. Without a word he left the room.

If it wasn't for the confidentiality agreement the first thing Nao would do after leaving the Tartarus was spill everything he saw till now. The terrible treatment of the inmates, irregular meals, showers and how violent guards could be. How most of those people needed help from professionals, how broken and sick they were. Nao understood they were horrible criminals, he knew their cases from TV and couldn't fathom doing most of their crimes, yet he could see humans in them. Contrary to most of the guards here.

And most of the people outside - he reminded himself. Even if he broke the agreement and spoke about the inside of Tartarus he knew no one would really care. All they cared about was themselves and their safety. Understandable, but nonetheless annoying.

With a growing lump in his throat Nao went down the corridor, nodding to the guards that passed him. He forced his thoughts to think about Chisaki, how to approach him now. Nao was sure he's going to be difficult again.

A guard standing under Chisaki’s cell greeted him with a scowl. After a routine check of his belongings, the last one from plenty he got on the way here, Nao was let inside.

Chisaki was standing in the same corner that Nao saw him on the camera. He flinched when the door opened but didn’t do anything else.

“Hi, Chisaki.” Nao smiled at him.

The other, younger man took a moment to look up. Then he took another moment to recognize Nao and it was obvious. His wide eyes relaxed and he breathed visibly.

“How long…” he started but then trailed off.

“Two days, like always.” Nao kept smiling. He didn’t want Chisaki to notice his previous anger.

“There were… guards here.”

“Yeah, they just left. They changed your sheets.”

Chisaki looked at the bed, cringed and then visibly relaxed. He leaned heavily on the wall. He nodded at Nao and the hero took it as his cue to start their routine. With a huge relief.

“Do you want to talk about something today?” asked Nao when they were done, with Chisaki sitting under a wall. He readjusted the new sheet the way the former villain asked him to and was sitting on the bed.

And Chisaki made a pause. Normally he immediately answered, with a no. Normally Nao had to nudge him to have a simple conversation about his likes and dislikes and even that didn’t always work.

“I want to leave this place,” finally said Kai. “I want to see the boss. But I don’t, I don’t know how.”

Nao considered his hunched position, the way he didn’t look at him. Chisaki was a big man, muscular and for sure strong. They were probably the same height and Nao usually stuck out in the crowd in Japan himself. Yet right now that big, strong man looked small and lost.

“Do you understand why you are here in the first place?” asked the hero. They didn’t talk about this before and he wanted to know what Chisaki thinks about his situation. He needed to know where he should start.

“Of course!” There was a click in the walls and Chisaki stiffened. Nao waved at the camera to let the guards know he had the situation under control. After a moment he looked at Chisaki and the former villain continued, quieter. “I’m not an idiot, I know why I’m here.”

“I didn’t say you’re an idiot, you’re not,” agreed Nao. “But I still want you to tell me.”

Kai chewed on his lower lip not looking at Nao. He obviously thought hard about his answer for a bit. His jaw tensed, he licked over the bruise he made on his lower lip and Nao wondered why he struggled so much with the answer.

Then, he realized Chisaki could be thinking what Nao wanted to hear. He wanted to believe in the man, but at the same time he knew Chisaki just wanted to get out to see his former boss. And the word “manipulative” from his files became uncomfortably obvious for the hero. He still waited in silence.

“I- Because of… Eri. And the league.” Chisaki still didn’t look up at Nao.

Nao sighed and brushed his forearms, even though they were covered with his turtleneck. It was a tick he never managed to get rid of, a nervous one. This was going to be a difficult discussion.

“Can you elaborate on that? What do you mean it was because of Eri?”

Chisaki looked uncomfortable. To the point Nao wondered if he should change the topic. But before he could propose it Kai answered.

“If she didn’t run… that kid, no one would find out. Till now everything would be done, boss would be fine, my plan would work, my arms-” he looked at his stumps and cringed, shook his head and started brushing his shoulder against his chin. Nao quickly realized it was his mysophobia kicking in. “She just couldn’t sit down for a little bit longer to make it better for everyone.”

Nao wanted to bite his nail but the glove that he wore stopped him. Instead he brushed his chin and scratched his ear. He knew he’s not a good person to do this and couldn’t understand why Rei, his boss, wanted him to lead Chisaki so badly. He was still a newbie and Chisaki obviously had some real issues he didn’t know how to handle. Also Nao didn’t have the most… therapeutic approach. All he wanted to do after hearing shit like that was to stand up and shake Chisaki till he realized what he was saying. Rei always seemed so composed when dealing with criminals and he just couldn’t do the same, he was salty, hot headed and most of the time spoke without thinking.

He sighed, already hearing Rei’s scolding once he was going to call her at the end of the week.

“Is this what you really think?”

“...yes.”

“Let’s think about it then.” Nao’s smile got sharper, he heard his inner voice whispering to him to yes, tell this man everything, make him feel like shit. He shushed it away. “You experimented on your boss’ granddaughter while he was under coma, induced by you. You planned, no, you started to sell drugs that would greatly mess up the world. Not mentioning organized crime. Did that girl make you do all this stuff?”

For a long moment Chisaki was looking at Nao as if he didn’t recognize the hero. When Nao started questioning himself and scolding himself for his long tongue, the former villain spoke.

“She didn’t…” he said slowly. “But, but she couldn’t understand, she- This is bullshit!” Even Nao jumped at the sudden outburst. This time the clicking in the walls didn’t follow. “Why are you even talking about this?!”

“Why?” Nao sighed. “Because I want you to realize you won’t get anywhere with that attitude.” He watched how Chisaki’s anger shifts into despair. “This is not ‘helping prisoners get out of prison’ program, nor ‘make a wish’. It’s a redemption program, where you’re supposed to understand the mistakes you did, come out with a way to better yourself in the eyes of society and be able to live a normal life. I’m here to provide you help, not lead you by a hand.” Kai was biting his lip again, not looking at Nao. He looked shaken, angry in some way and depressed. Nao brushed his face, unhappy for yelling at his patient.

“This is why I was opposed to Rei’s decision to put me as your counselor. Your case angers me. You’re too proud and honestly, I’m surprised it took me so long to snap. But then we didn’t really talk about this before, right?” Nao laughed, to relieve his own tension, and noticed that Chisaki looked at him. “Anyway, I enjoyed meeting with you, I really did. You can be enjoyable, honestly, when you’re not like that.” He waved his hand in the direction of Chisaki. He wasn’t giving up, he didn’t want to give up. But he stepped over the line and assumed that was what he was supposed to do. “But it’s obviously not working. I’ll call Rei and tell her to send someone else. Unless you want to end this here-”

“No!” Kai jolted up, straightening his hunched position against the wall and cringing at his arms. He looked back at surprised Nao. “I don’t want anyone else and I don’t want you to stop coming. This is- you’re right. You know I decided on this only to get out of here, I need to see my boss. I don’t care about Eri, about what happens later to me I just, I need to apologize to him.”

Manipulative, full of himself, with anger issues and radical world views. Hopeless case. Nao had the words before his eyes. He didn’t have to know this beforehand to quickly realize it on his own. But, what he saw now, was a broken, desperate man in need of help. And he wanted to help him so badly. Not only to lessen his guilt against the old Shie Hassaikai boss. He wanted to find him a purpose to continue living.

He didn’t want to think about how much he could relate to Chisaki right now.

“Okay.”

“...okay?”

“If you don’t mind then sure. But it’s gonna work on different rules now.” Rei was going to kill him. “I’m not gonna be your nice therapist anymore. I’ll visit you as myself from now on.”

“Did you visit me as someone else before?”

“Yes and no,” chuckled Nao. “Let’s say… Nao is more professional and has a better approach. Nikodem is going to slap your head for saying dumb shit.”

“Ni...kodem?”

“That’s my real name. You can keep calling me Nao though, it’s shorter.”

Chisaki nodded, said Nao’s name again to himself and looked down. Nao tilted his head lightly.

“Why do you even want to come here?” he asked, not looking up.

“Because you asked me to.” Nao shrugged. “And, eh, Rei’s gonna kill me. I can relate to you. A little bit.”

“What?” Now Chisaki was the surprised one. He lifted his head.

“She got to me when I was in jail. I did some shit before, too. Looking at you right now… I can imagine myself if she didn’t get involved. Assuming I would still be alive.”

“In jail…” Kai blinked, frowned and looked to the side. “But you’re a hero now.”

“Sure, because I went through the redemption program. And it was different for me too, to be honest.” Nao scratched his chin but quickly shrugged. “It took me almost two years to be able to leave the jail.”

“What did you do?”

Nao blinked, finally catching Chisaki’s eyes, then smiled. He leaned back on the bed, supporting himself with his hands.

“You really want to know?” Oh, Rei was totally going to kill him.

“Yes.”

“Well.” Nao looked at a watch he had hidden under one of long sleeves. He still had some time till his hour with Chisaki passed. “This… is kind of a love story, to be honest.”