#and again I didnt even call the person out publically so ?
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the funniest thing is i didnt even call out whoever it was that reposted my gifs like i just got sent an ask about it and said it made me feel shitty, like ???? i went about it in the nicest way possible but god forbid people who actually take the time to make things for others to enjoy like.... say Oh bit of a bummer when people steal shit instead of just reblogging?
#like ??#i didnt do anything#you have no respect for gifmakers but love to steal from us like ????#you apparently do like the gifs ?#sorry that im so selfish as to wish people would reblog with a nice comment i guess#ive literally made posts saying people can use any of my edits for icons / headers etc I dont even ask for credit#having someone take a gif i worked on is annoying though- sometimes they are very hard to make#you can take it and repost it and i wont do anything about it but im allowed to#reply to the ask that was SENT TO ME btw I didnt make a post it was /SENT/ to me#and again I didnt even call the person out publically so ?#so how are you sending me cunty asks about it#okay rant over end of topic
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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y'know I think about this tweet often. I don't think truer words have ever been spoken....
#had a whole mini rant that i wrote and then deleted lol..........#no one else may know his shitty he was but i will always know and i shall absolutely not forgive or forget#however i do still start seething on occasion when i remember that after we broke up for years i never thought of him at all#except when i pass his street on occasion bc he happens to live nearby which is very ughhh but it's mostly whatever#and then out of the blue in early 2021 he texted and CALLED me (i did not answer. what a fucking jumpscare jfc)#to tell me he had been stalking my spotify playlists and saving them and#even had the fuuuuucking audacity. to think they were a personal message in a bottle just for him.#we had not spoken in 3 years. can u imagine the absolute lack of fucking common sense or logic. the fucking audacity of men is unparalleled#and then i had nightmares and paranoia about him for the next like full year. like wtf.#also i think i said 2021 but actually that happened in 2022 so we actually hadn't spoken in four full years.#where on gods green earth woild he get the idea. that my public spotify playlist.#was dedicated to my terrible obsessive bully of a boyfriend from fucking high school.#i just can't even fucking fathom the mental gymnastics necessary.#anyway. i ended up ranting anyway#it just makes me so angry that i didnt think about him for years and then he so efficiently once again ruined my life#bc he had been incredibly obsessive and so I had reason to worry he might just show up at my house at some point.#i ended up ranting anyway. what can u do.#anyway. I hope he's having a terrible time. he deserves it.
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them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - vu
content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, etc.
part 1
wc: 4512
a/n: lmk if u want a pu ver pls <3 if there's part i forgot to make gender neutral pls lmk!!
masterlist
jeonghan -
jeonghan had no idea what to do. he'd never been in this position before. he prided himself in being a good friend and specially boyfriend. nothing in this world mattered to him more than his loved ones, which was why he was extremely disappointed in himself at having disregarded you and hurt your feelings in such a careless way. he knew it was your birthday, and he had wanted so badly to be with you, but he had been an idiot and let it slip his mind. there was no other way to put it. it made him sad more than anything, to know that you had spent the night worried over him only to wake up to zero communication from him, having spent a good 14 hours into your birthday without any word from him. he needed to fix this, he just didnt know how.
this was so unlike him. jeonghan had always known himself to be an attentive person. he noticed any time you changed your hair almost immediately, he'd notice new additions to your recipes, he'd take note of any time you switched things up in your apartment, he'd remember any and every important date. even now. he had remembered it, except he had skipped over it due to his idiocy, which really only made it worse.
after getting mocked by joshua for ten minutes as he racked his brain to find a solution, he decided to just improvise. he'd go to your apartment and see if you'd at least let him in to try and explain his way through an apology. he would pull all the dramatics if he had to. there was not a single care for his dignity in his mind right now. nothing would prevent him from showing you his utmost remorse.
only thirty minutes later and he was now outside your apartment window, looking up from his secluded spot inside the complex's garden. he pondered about calling you, but decided that going for a more unconventional route might do the trick a bit better. spotting some pebbles nearby, he grabbed a few, beginning to chuck them at your window. okay, kind of corny, but knowing you, he knew you'd appreciate the thought. he spent an unfortunate ten minutes throwing pebble after pebble until you finally opened your window, sticking your head out as soon as you spotted him down below.
"jeonghan. what the hell are you doing?", you seemed and sounded pissed. but, hey! that was a good sign. at least you were acknowledging his presence.
"my love!', he clutched at his heart, 'let me come see you. please. i want to apologize."
"fuck you, yoon jeonghan. why dont you go treat your hangover somewhere else?", you went to close your window, only to stop in your tracks as he yelled out again.
"wait! do you want me to beg? i will. i love you. i dont care what i have to do. i'll climb to the roof and profess my love for you for all of seoul to hear," yes, he was being overly dramatic, but he was also being genuine. if you actually wanted him to scream out to the world how much he regretted his stupidity, he would. you didnt even have to ask.
but he also knew public displays were a huge no for you, dating an idol and knowing the controversies being known as the significant other of the yoon jeonghan would bring. he was putting you in a bit of a spot. you could either let him up to apologize, or wake up to some ominous article stating yoon jeonghan of seventeen might be taken.
fortunately for him, you chose the former, which now placed him in your living room as you crossed your arms and huffed at him. okay, one step at a time. it was time to put jokes aside and get serious.
"angel ... i'm so sorry," he cooed at you, stepping forward a bit.
"jeonghan, dont talk to me like im a baby. im not in the mood."
"but you are my baby," he pouted at you, "you're my angel, my everything. i'm sorry. i didnt show you how much you mean to me last night. all i want to do is love you and take care of you. you can punish me all you want. i deserve it. but please let me sleep in your arms. im already away from you most of the time. dont deprive me one more day," and he meant all he said. you were his favorite form of comfort, and the thought of you being angry or hurt by him made him scared. he never wanted to risk you being ripped away from his arms, specially not due to his own doing.
"jeonghan ..."
"no, wait. i'm sorry. i shouldve never forgotten. i dont know how it happened. all i ever want to do every day is come back home to you, but i did the opposite on the worst day possible. i'll apologize over and over until you forgive me if that's what it takes. please just let me be with you on your birthday. i dont want you alone. i dont want you sad. i want you happy and content in my arms. please? i love you."
he mustve broken you down, as you landed in his arms immediately after he finished his speech. he couldve sworn he saw you eyes puffy and swollen before he wrapped his arms around you. his suspicion was confirmed just seconds later when he heard you sniffle against him.
"aigooo, no angel. dont cry. didnt wanna make you cry. you're making me look like such a bad guy, baby, making you cry on your birthday," he cooed at you as he held you as tight as possible.
you separated yourself from him, finally looking into his eyes while he caressed your cheeks, wiping any lone tears in them, "im so sorry, angel. forgive me? let me stay, please."
"yes, hannie. i love you."
"i love you so much more," and he'd spend the rest of his life the day showing that to you.
joshua -
joshua had not been this hungover in a while. he wasnt sure how this happened. last thing he remembered was his manager rushing him into a car right after the award show, letting the group know they'd been invited to an after party, and the company had deemed it smart to be in attendance for public image purposes. all members agreed enthusiastically, excited to mingle among their peers and maybe make some new connections in the process. joshua had been the lone member to be skeptical, knowing he had promised he'd be back to the hotel at an appropriate time in order to get on the phone with you and celebrate what was remaining of your birthday with you despite the current distance between you. however, he did not want to get in the way of his members' fun, so he kept any objections to himself and joined them with matching enthusiasm.
his original plan was to roam the party for an hour or so, which wouldve allowed him to get back to call you on time, but ironically, time got away from him. the next thing he knew, he was waking up at 11am in the morning in mingyu's hotel room, head pounding and phone full of unread notifications. he wasnt sure how this happened. the last thing he remembered was being at the party, margarita in hand as he and his members drank their souls away in celebration of yet another successful award show season. it was around three margaritas in that joshua had begun to disregard his phone, and with that you as well. as soon as he saw the dejection in your messages upon waking up, he spammed you with texts and voice memos expressing his regret, but received no response from you. he had hurt you and now you were ignoring him. and with good reason.
joshua knew that there wasnt much he could do from his current location, specially while you were (justifiably) icing him out. so he committed to his next best option. he immediately booked a ticket back to korea, letting his manager know that he'd just be returning home two days in advance to the rest of the members. all they had scheduled left was an interview tomorrow, so his absence would probably not have that big of an effect. five grueling hours later and he arrived to korea, exhausted and still slightly hung over, but with a whole speech planned to beg for your forgiveness.
in the process, he had tried calling you again and again, still earning no response. this disheartened him, making him think that maybe his grand gesture would only be taken negatively. he picked up some flowers on the way, gift he had bought in japan a few days ago in hand, ready to knock on your apartment door. despite the exhaustion, he was here. a day late to celebrate your birthday, but still here nonetheless.
your face upon answering the door had been of surprise, not anger like he feared, but that only lasted for a few seconds until you started to berate him.
"joshua? what are you doing here?"
"baby, i'm so so sorry. can i come in? please?"
you moved aside without further words, gesturing for him to continue talking.
he suddenly remembered the flowers and boxed gift in hand, signaling to them before handing them to you, "oh, these are for you," he felt extremely inadequate, something that was very rare for him. he had practiced a whole speech, a whole profession of love and regret, but now his mind was blank. you just looked so. disappointed. he couldn't stand it.
'i'm sorry. i- i have no good excuse. the party got the best of me and i completely spaced out on our plans. i never meant to forget about you. please believe me.'
"joshua ... this was your idea. you had me waiting all night just to ghost me. you spent my birthday partying without even thinking of me."
he grabbed onto your hands, placing the flowers and gift on the table before doing so. he held onto you as he began to get exasperated in his speech, "there's no world in which i wasn't thinking of you. you're all thats ever on my mind. i didnt even wanna go to that stupid party, but i didnt want to inconvenience anyone. please, i- i wanted to call you. i ... yeah, i got drunk and distracted. and thats my fault. im sorry. i came back early to be with you. to make up for being a dumbass. please let me make it up to you. please? i'll serenade you like i promised. i'll get on my knees. do you want me to get on my-"
you interrupted him as he began to kneel halfway through his speech, slapping at him lightheartedly as he began to get more dramatic by the second. he knew it was hard for you to get angry at him when he started pulling all stops like he did. he came back and begged on his knees, even offered to express his love to you through song. he was making you hold in your laugh. these were all good signs, right?
"you .. you're such an idiot, hong jisoo. i hate you," but he knew you didnt mean it. he could hear and see the smile on your face, knowing he had been successful at wearing you down.
"if you ever do this again, ill date jeonghan instead."
"ouch!", he dramatically grabbed onto his chest, as if you'd just wounded his heart, causing you to laugh, "hannie? okay, can't blame you. he's pretty cute," he chuckled, "but for now ... let me spend the day with my love? hmm?", he pulled you closer, nuzzling his nose against yours as you feigned annoyance at him.
"fine," you rolled your eyes, "i'm still mad at you, though."
yeah, he had a lot of making up to do, but this was a start.
jihoon -
jihoon had not stopped beating himself up over his actions ever since you hung up the phone. he had spent the entirety of the day rethinking all his choices leading up to this. he had wanted to go running to you and apologize, but you had specifically asked him to stay away, so he wanted to respect your wishes. still, he felt like complete and utter shit at the way he disregarded you so easily. he wished he could go back in time and slap some sense into himself.
he had always been scared. scared that his job would someday get in the way of your relationship. it had been so hard for him to find someone to love; someone who loved him just as much. and the moment he found you he treasured you more than anything, but now his stupid workaholic tendencies had gotten in the way. he was terrified right now that you'd start to see the error in your choice to be with him. that you'd want to find someone who wouldnt so easily put his job over everything else.
it was now 11am of the following day, and you had not called him yet. he was beginning to get worried. were you icing him out? had he hurt you that badly? he could never blame you for feeling hurt at his neglect, but he could also not help his own feelings of dejection at you ignoring him due to your anger. alas, he still gave you all reason; this had been his own doing.
he waited a couple hours before giving up on waiting, instead choosing to confide in a few of his members to inquire as to what they'd do if they ever pulled something like this with their own significant others. after being scolded for a good few minutes due to his carelessness towards you, they told him that maybe showing up to your apartment as a demonstration of his affection to you (joined by a sincere apology, of course) would make you look his way again.
so now he was here, about to knock on your door with your favorite flowers in hand. he was terrified. the two of you had never fought. there had never been a single time in which you'd hurt each other's feelings. it had all been nothing but love and tenderness in your relationship thus far. he was your best friend, and you were his. yet he had no idea how to communicate to you how much you meant to him, and how much of a stupid mistake his slip up had been.
before he could think further, he forced himself to knock on your door, hoping you wouldnt immediately throw him out. to his surprise, you opened the door and even wordlessly gestured for him to enter. you looked ... sad. you looked the way he'd feel had you ghosted him on his own birthday. yeah, he didnt care much for his birthday, but your absence would wound him nonetheless. he imagined it felt the same for you.
"i ... i'm so sorry. i dont know what to say .. i- i fucked up. so badly. i have no idea how or why i forgot. there's nothing i can do to make up for it, but please know im so fucking sorry."
"jihoon ... how? you picked my birthday of all days to lock yourself in your studio? i've never judged your busy schedule. i understand your career. i respect it. i get that you cant help being busy. your job is too demanding of your time, but for you to ignore me when you had full control of your free time? why?", he could see how disappointed you felt at his neglect; how hurt you felt at him, not only through your words, but through your closed off body language. you were hugging yourself with your arms, not holding eye contact as you stared anywhere but into his eyes. despite your confident words, your demeanor was deflated. and it was his fault.
"it was- it was a mistake. it was all my fault. i cant argue my way around it. but i love you. i didnt .. i didnt mean to neglect you. you're all i think about. every song ive ever written, even before meeting you, was about you. you're everything. i'm just an idiot. i dont know how to do this ... ive never loved like this. i have no idea what to do when i fuck up. all i can do is promise you to be better. please give me a chance to be better. i'll be more attentive. i know i'm cold, and im not too affectionate, but i love you. i'll make it up to you. please, just dont let this be the end. i'll keep you in my studio with me whenever i lock myself away. won't ever go a day without letting you know what im doing, how im doing. please. i'll do anything to show you."
he worried his ramble mightve been too much, feeling to scared to even hold eye contact with you as he went on and on about how much he loved you. unexpectedly, upon looking up, he found your reddened eyes, with a stuffy nose to match. fuck. had he hurt your feelings again?
"jihoon ... i- i love you. i'm sorry. i cant believe you could ever think i wanted this to be the end. i was hurt and mad- i am hurt, but i love you," you sniffled your way through your short speech, but jihoon heard it perfectly fine. these were the words he prayed to hear from you all of last night as he stayed up thinking about you.
"fuck. thank god," he couldnt help himself in hugging you, holding you tightly against his arms, and sighing in relief at your reciprocation, "i love you. i'll take the week off. let me take you away and show you how much you mean to me. please? will you come with me?"
"yes, jihoon. i love you."
"i love you. you have no idea."
seokmin -
seokmin felt extremely scared. you weren't answering any of his calls. he knew you were physically okay, but he also knew your feelings were hurt, and you were probably extremely angry at him. you had all reason to be angry at him. he ditched you and kept you in the dark all day. on your birthday! seokmin had never been in a situation like this before. he had always prided himself in being the best boyfriend that one could ever be, even sometimes introducing himself as your boyfriend instead of with his own name. except today he had disappointed both you and himself beyond belief.
he knew you'd asked him to stay away for the night, and he'd usually respect your one and every wish, but today he needed to go against the current and go and beg for your forgiveness.
in very non-seokmin fashion, he exited the event just as quickly as he'd arrived, not even caring to say goodbye to his friends. you were his number one priority, after all. specially today of all days. he had his driver stop by a flower shop on the way, hoping the innocent gesture would maybe have you show some mercy on his stupidity.
he showed up to your apartment immediately after, having mentally prepared a whole speech for you on the way there. he was going to tell you how much he loved you, and how this was just a completely stupid slip of his mind, that this would never happen again, but all these thoughts left his mind as soon as you opened the door, eyes swollen and glossy. every rational thought went out the window upon spotting your saddened state causing seokmin's eyes to match your own as he felt himself begin to tear up. he couldnt help himself in immediately embracing you in a tight hug, thanking god when he felt you hold him back.
you two sniffled against each other for a bit, neither of you full on crying, but still being overly emotional at the situation. seokmin mumbled endless apologies against your hair, running his hands up and down your back as if to soothe you. he was over the moon to hear an 'i love you' from you in the middle of your sorrowful mumbles against his chest, doubling the sentiment as he cried to you how much he loved you and how badly he regretted letting you slip his mind for even a second. when he pulled back, he expressed the same sentiment all over again.
"my baby ... i love you so much. please let me make it up to you. i- i brought you flowers!", he finally recalled the flowers he had dropped as soon as you closed the door behind him ten minutes ago, "i know it doesnt make up for anything, but please let it be a start. i'll do anything you want. just want you to never cry over me like this again, baby. i love you too much to make you cry," he wiped at your tears as he said this, caressing your cheeks while he looked at you with pure adoration in his eyes.
"minnie," you pouted at him, "stay the night? please? want you at least for the bit that's left of today."
"today? oh, baby. i'm giving you my whole week. told you i was gonna make it up to you. i'll do everything you want, my love. now let me take you to bed, yeah? wanna hold my beautiful angel to sleep."
he slept soundly that night, knowing you had somehow forgiven him and even given him the privilege to hold you in his sleep, also knowing he'd do anything and everything necessary to make up for his stupid mistake.
seungkwan -
he had put literally everyone else above you. on your birthday. there was truly no other way to spin it. he had never felt more guilt in his life, and it was all completely on him. having even thought of going out with his friends on your birthday shouldve given him the first red flag in his stupid plan. why didnt he just bring you along? god, he was such an idiot. and then allowing mingyu and dongmin to entice him into a two hour long live broadcast just to secure some fanservice was just the nail in the coffin.
he knew he hurt you badly. he had promised you he'd be there, but had just left you in the dark all day. he couldnt blame you for not wanting to see him today, but now he was stuck tossing and turning in his bed as he itched to hold you in his arms. he had called the company immediately after your call, letting them know he'd be skipping the usual dance practice and recordings in favor of being with you, which is what he should've done all day today.
it wasnt long until he grew too restless to simply stay in bed while he knew you were probably in a similar position, except most likely sad and angry. he couldnt help himself when he decided to head to you, feeling bad at calling up his driver at such late hours of the night. the journey to your apartment was a short one, which left him with little time to think over what he'd say to you in order to convey his regret. he didnt care much for what he said, he just wanted to alleviate your hurt somehow.
just as he expected, you were awake, now standing in front of him as you opened the door to your apartment. your eyes were puffy, a huge indicator that you'd been crying. your eyes also wouldnt meet his, with your eyebrows lowered in clear sadness. seeing you and knowing your current state was his fault felt like a kick in the gut. he had never made you cry before, so he was extremely disappointed in himself. worst of all, seeing you cry made him start to tear up a bit himself.
"baby ..."
"what do you want, kwan? i thought you were busy all day," your words carried venom behind them, but your delivery was still of someone who had been hurt.
"no, baby. you know that's not true. i'm never too busy for you. i'm so sorry. i was such an idiot. there arent enough apologies i could give you. i- i never meant to hurt your feelings."
"you still did."
"i ... i know. i'm sorry. i love you. the last thing i ever want is for you to be hurt by me. i never shouldve gone out with my friends to begin with. you're too understanding of my busy schedule, and i dont deserve it. i shouldve made time all day for you today."
"was ... was it that important? being gone today specifically?", you seemed insecure in your question, which only made seungkwan's heart soar at making you feel insecure around him in any way.
"no! no, of course not. i wasnt thinking. i shouldve told them id go with them next time, or taken you with me! i was so stupid, i'm sorry. you're my priority. i need you to know that."
"it's- it's fine, kwannie. i understand. you dont see your friends that often, you-"
"no! stop. dont try to rationalize it. i made a mistake. you dont have to cover for me. i hurt you and i made you feel unimportant when you're the most important person to me. im so sorry. please never doubt that. i get you all to myself so little, and staying away from you was such a stupid mistake."
more tears had started flowing down your cheeks the further the conversation went on. he wasnt sure if it was because you were touched by his words, or because he was failing at making you feel better. as he neared you enough to wipe your tears with his thumbs, he hoped it was the former.
"baby .. don't cry over me. please. i'm just an idiot. you should never cry over me. i only ever want you to feel good things when thinking of me. i- im so sorry."
"kwannie ... i love you. i understand. i know you dont want me to understand, but i do. you have to make your choices when you're as busy as you are, and .. even though it did make me feel unimportant, i get it."
"it'll never happen again. i'll- i'll keep you by my side day and night. let me- please let me keep you to myself tomorrow. just wanna be with you. please?"
for the first time in the night, he saw you shoot him a small smile, uttering the words he wanted to hear most, "yes, kwannie. will you .. will you stay? please"
"you don't even have to ask."
a/n: thank u to everyone who enjoyed this lil series aaaa i hope it was realistic enough T-T sorry if the reconciliation seemed rushed, i just didnt want any of them to end up with an angsty ending hehe also sorry for seokmin's being shorter than anyone's i just cannot imagine that man ever hurting anyone's feelings.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#seventeen angst#svt angst#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan fanfic#seokmin fluff#seokmin fanfic#seokmin x reader#joshua fluff#joshua fanfic#joshua x reader#woozi scenarios#woozi x reader#jihoon fanfic#jihoon x reader#jeonghan fanfic#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan fluff
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Secret Secret Chapter 7
OT8 Straykids x reader, ABO AU
Masterlist |
The Meeting (as you had taken to calling it in your head) was officially set for the end of the week. Specifically, on a Saturday afternoon at Chan’s personal studio, the perfect mix of comfortable and private, while also being somewhat profesional. After all, it wouldn't be good if you were caught out in public with Stray Kids. Too many questions would come your way. So you and Chan planned out The Meeting over text (you had finally gotten his number during their promotions), and now the minutes were ticking down.
You would have postponed it more if you could, nervous and worried about revealing what was essentially the biggest secret you had ever had, but you were already cutting it close as it was. The tour officially kicked off earlier this week with their concert in Seoul, and by Monday afternoon you would be on your way to Japan. If anything happened (and it was a big if, because you trusted Chan, as stupid as it seemed, and he trusted Felix), you would prefer to not be overseas when it happened.
So now you found yourself nervously shaking your leg as the elevator numbers went up, feeling a strange sense of deja vu as you made your way off and down the very same hall you had taken when searching for the distressed omega over a month ago. You never did find out what happened to her. You hoped she was okay.
You reached the same door, the one Chan had told you about through text, and hesitated before knocking. You were early, just by a few minutes, but you imagined that Felix had to be there already right? Surely Chan had already explained what they were doing there.
This was it. Your first leap of faith. Would Felix be okay with your position, your decisions, and even your past involvement with his alpha? Or would one wrong move leave you without a job once again, possibly black listed from the industry entirely.
You took a deep breath, and knocked.
And then immediately regretted it. It felt like your heart was going to explode right out of you chest with how hard it started beating, and you started to feel like your limbs were 3 times heavier and yet disconnected from you all together. You wanted to run, but your legs were frozen. It was only the sight of Chan’s face, the comforting smell of fruits and flowers and ocean breeze, that snapped you out of it enough to force a smile onto your face.
You had a feeling it came out more like a grimace, judging by the sympathetic look he gave you.
“Hey. You ready?”
You weren't given much of a choice as a second later, Felix was shoving himself in between Chan and the door. He was wearing a bright grin that slowly faded as he took you in. He said your name in confusion, and you shot Chan a look.
“You didnt tell him?”
“I wanted to wait until you were here! Felix, I told you to wait.”
“Wait, they're the ome-?!”
Both you and Chan moved in synchronization to hush the blonde, you pressing your hand against his mouth and the latter slapping his own hand over yours, effectively trapping your hand. Wide eyed, Felix seemed to have realized his mistake of screaming out in the middle of the JYP hallways, because he slumped against Chan in defeat.
“Shmy,” he mumbled against your palm.
You gave Chan a look, and he let go quickly, allowing you to remove your hand from Felix's face. Taking a step back your fellow omega let you into the room with sharp eyes, and you could practically see the millions of questions that were forming in his head. Sure enough, it was only after the door was finally closed and you had taken a seat on the worn couch at the back of the room that he continued.
“I thought you were a beta,” was the first thing he said.
You looked away. “Yeah, Im not. I uh … lied, i guess.”
Felix was quiet, slowly walking from one side of the room to the other with a frown. Chan remained at the door with his arms crossed. And you sat stiffly on the couch, back rigid, feeling like you would rather be anywhere else but here.
Why did you agree to this again?
“So you … lied about being a beta,” Felix repeated. You nodded. “Anything else you lied about.”
You shook your head.
“I don't-” He placed his hands on his hips. “I just don't understand. Isn't it illegal to lie to your workplace?”
“It's pretty illegal to not hire someone based on their presentation,” You argued. “And yet it still happens.”
“The company doesn't do that,” Felix tried to argue.
You shot Chan a look, but he was staring down at the ground shaking his head. “Dude. Of course they do. It might not be official, because like you pointed out, its illegal-”
“They hire omegas and alphas all the time!”
“Are you kidding me? When have you ever seen anyone other than betas on your staff?!”
“They hired me!”
You scoffed in disbelief. “That's different.”
“How?”
“You're an idol! They dont give a shit about your presentation, all they care about is whether or not they can make money off you!”
Felix, bless his heart, actually looked shocked at the idea. He turned to Chan, you imagined for support, but the leader was now looking up, his jaw clenched. Felix pursed his lips, crossing his own arms.
Cinnamon burned your nose.
“Okay, fine. Let's say the company does discriminate. Why would you even want to work here if that was the case? Why not go find another job, one where you don't have to lie and hide who you are?” He wondered.
“Because this is my dream, Felix. Working in this industry, being a part of the process, getting to use the languages I busted my ass to learn.” You let out a harsh sigh and flopped back onto the seats behind you. “And even if it wasn't, why should I have to give up an opportunity just because the company refuses to hire anyone who isn't a beta?”
“You wouldn't have to lie,” Felix mumbled.
It felt like an accusation, a dirty shot to your pride, and your metaphorical hackles raised as a defense rested on your lips, ready to be shot back. But a small sound behind you made you pause. You turned back to glance at Chan, and for once, he was looking back.
He looked tired.
You hadn't noticed before, too busy worrying about the meeting. But now, really taking him in for the first time, you could see the circles under his eyes, the way the hoodie on his head was slipping back to reveal messy curls, the slump in his shoulders. Ironically, seeing his exhaustion made you feel tired, almost resigned.
You didn't want to fight with Felix. You had felt attacked, accused of doing something wrong, and had immediately flown into defensive mode. But this wasn't about trying to prove yourself right. You were here to get Felix to understand.
You took a deep breath, calming yourself. “Felix, what would you have done if the company had implemented the no omega rule when you were a trainee?”
Felix frowned. “I would have had to go somewhere else, I guess.”
“What if every company had that rule? What if you were no longer allowed to be an idol, just because you were an omega. How would that make you feel?” You said softly, seeing the understanding slowly grow on his face.
The blond was quiet for at least a full minute, staring intently at the wall as he thought. A range of emotions began to flash across his face, and the way the cinnamon in the air began to ease up assured you he was coming to an understanding. Movement at your side drew your attention to Chan as he sat down next to you, giving you a small smile.
“It doesn't seem fair, but that's how things work out sometimes,” He said. “Believe me, I wasn't thrilled at the idea at first. But I get it.”
Felix nodded his head. “Yeah, I get it too. I don't like it-”
“But you get it,” Chan finished.
“Yeah.”
You patted Chan’s leg. “I don't like it either, but I'm willing to do what I need to stay here. It's important to me.”
Felix let out a sniffle, and then a full on sniff. “I don't understand how you do it, though. You smell like a beta.”
“Dont worry about it,” You told him, shooting Chan a look.
The alpha blatantly ignored it. “It's a ‘Pheromone based perfume.’” He said, with air quotes and all.
Felix raised his eyebrows at that. “You're wearing someone else's scent?”
“I didn't steal it from them, if that's what you're asking,” You said, once again defensive.
Felix raised his hands. “I'm not judging.”
“Sounds kinda judgy,” you muttered.
He bit his lip, eyes flickering to where Chan sat next to you. He walked over to your other side, hesitating at the end of the couch until you let out a sigh, patting the seat. With your permission, Felix settled down next to you.
“I'm not judging you. I promise. I just don't … I dont like the idea of you having to hide yourself. It's not fair.”
Chan reached over from behind you to rest a hand on his omegas shoulder. Feeling the need to reassure him yourself, you grabbed one of Felix's hands with your free one (the other still resting on Chan’s leg, but you felt too awkward to move it now. Guess it was stuck there).
“It's okay,” You tried.
“It's really not.”
And it wasn't, so you didn't bother trying to argue with him about it. Instead, you allowed yourself to melt against the two aussies, warmth flowing into your body from both sides. You almost felt tempted to fall asleep.
“I am kind of curious,” Felix said, breaking the silence. “What you really smell like.”
You turned your head towards him, nose brushing up against his cheek. You mumbled out a sorry, pushing yourself back, subsequently pressing your back to Chan's chest.
“Not in a weird way. Its just that Chan mentioned it before, when he came home that night-” Felix clarified.
“Way to throw me under the bus,” Chan mumbled in english.
“-and I kind of wanted to see if he was right.”
You tilted your head to the side. “Right about what?”
“If you really smell as sweet as he said.”
Felix was giving you a flirtatious look, but you found yourself more amused than anything.
“He said that, huh?”
“Really mate?” Chan was pulling away from you and Felix, and you let out a squeak at the sudden loss of temperature from behind.
And also because your forgotten hand was suddenly remembered by both you and Chan as he tried to get up, your hand slipping from his leg and towards the floor with nothing left to support it. You tilted to the side, and both Chan and Felix moved to grab you. In the rush to catch you, you ended up pulling Felix towards you by your still joined hands, and he reached his own free hand out to catch himself. Your legs flailed as you tilted, and a hand cupped your head seconds before it hit the ground. Chan gave you and Felix panicked looks as the moving bodies settled, bent over at the waist where he was cradling your head, the other raised in Felix's direction as if to catch him.
You were the first one to laugh at the situation, a snort forcing its way through your nose. And then Felix followed, a high pitched cackle escaping as he realized the ridiculousness of your positions. Chan let out his own chuckle, trying to help you up, but his own leg caught on the couch, and he fell to his knees, hand still under your head.
Felix laughed harder.
“Are you okay?” You said, smiling wildly.
Face an inch from yours, Chan grinned. “I'm perfect.”
-0-0-
Sunday morning was the moment you finally managed to get Sooyoung alone. She was home, and she didn't have any classes that day, and you were ready for her.
When she came downstairs that morning, looking sleepy, you sat up on the couch. She glanced at you as she made her way to the kitchen, and you gave her your best puppy-dog eyes, patting the seat next to you.
She paused.
“I understand if you're still mad, but I really would like to talk. Please.”
She blinked slowly at you, mouth pursing, and to your disappointment, she continued on towards the kitchen. You had almost lost hope until you noticed her grab two glasses from the cupboard, filling one up with water and leaving it untouched, downing the other one in one go. She walked back towards the living room with the extra cup.
Straight towards you.
She placed the cup in front of you. “Your face is puffy. You always forget to drink water.”
You didn't bother holding back your smile. “So, not mad?”
Sooyoung let out a sigh, and finally sat down next to you.
“I’m not mad,” She repeated softly, gaze focused away from you. “To be truthful, I regretted snapping at you the minute I left the room.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You were right.”
She snorted. “Of course I was right. But I understand why you didn’t want to listen.”
The both of you were silent for a moment. You could hear heavy footsteps from above, your upstairs neighbor once again proving their feet must have been made out of lead. It was something the two of you had talked about often before, and the sudden reminder of your own little inside joke had both of you glancing at one another with smiles.
It felt like the air was suddenly lighter. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
You didn’t hesitate to throw yourself across the couch, Sooyoung opening up her arms with little resistance to catch you. It made your chest flutter as you soaked in her scent. For the first time in two weeks, you felt like everything was going to be alright between you two.
-0-0-
You should have known that good things don't last. The relief of both talks you had been dreading surprisingly going well lasted all up until Monday morning.
As all things do, the disasters came in three's.
The first inconvenience came in the form of a malfunctioning alarm, which you were positive you had set up the night before, but for some reason never rang. Instead, you were shaken awake by a panicked Sooyoung, telling you that if you didn't leave soon, you would be late for your flight. And so, half asleep, still wearing your pajamas top (you threw a hoodie on in the cab when you realized), and with messy hair, you arrived at the airport 15 minutes late.
You were just lucky you had packed the night before.
But that's when the next disaster struck. Stray Kids manager was waiting for you when you arrived, and he guided you to the check in area. But there was something wrong with the luggage options on your ticket, and the airline wouldn't let you send your suitcase with the rest of the group's luggage unless you paid extra (which you didn't have the money for). Of course, you only had one suitcase, and Soojin was convinced it would be fine for you to just take it with you as a carry on. And normally, you would agree.
But the idea of bringing your luggage with you through security very quickly brought up another problem. You had your pheromone perfume in your bag, more than enough for the trips you'd take on the tour, but more than the allowed amount of liquids that could pass through security. You realized pretty quickly that if they pulled that bottle out in front of everyone, it could very well out your lie to everyone right here, right now.
You panicked.
The rest of the group were gone, having just finished checking in when you arrived. Soojin had only stayed behind to make sure you got through the check in, and he was already on his way towards security. You turned to the lady at the check in desk with wide eyes, pretending like you just remembered something.
“I have a bottle of perfume in my bag. That can't pass security, can it?”
The lady paused. “Oh, no. Sorry, you'll have to leave it behind.”
Yeah, that wasn't happening.
“Actually, is it okay if I leave it in my friend's suitcase? I'm sure he wouldn't mind,” You said, flashing your best smile.
The lady gave a hesitant look to where Soojin had already disappeared around the corner, and then to the few suitcases still being loaded onto the conveyor belt by workers. After a moment of consideration, she gave you a nod, and you moved.
You grabbed your bag, quickly located the perfume wrapped in a towel (so it wouldn't break), and under the careful eyes of the check in lady you grabbed the only bag you were sure belonged to one of the members. It was a dark black suitcase that Chan had been pulling to the pile of other suitcases when you arrived, and you blindly shoved the towel covered bottle in as quickly as you could.
You got back to your feet fast, and with a quick bow to the lady and the workers, you grabbed your own bag and hurried after the rest of the group.
Soojin gave you a weird look as you finally joined him. “Are you okay? Were there any other problems?”
“Nope,” You said a little too quickly. “Just had a question.”
He didn't get the chance to question it, as the security called him through to the other side at that moment.
Thankfully, everything seemed to go well. There were no red flags, the group made their way to the gate- Maya was thrilled to find out she would be sitting next to you on the plane- and you all settled down in the waiting area. It was only then that you approached the idols cautiously, doing your best to pretend you weren't being watched by the other staff.
It was Minho who spotted you first, raising his head as you approached and giving you a curious look. With his attention pulled, the others followed suit. Felix's face brightened as he spotted you, and Jisung gave you a wave.
“Hey! We almost thought you weren't going to make it,” Chan said from his own seat.
Next to him, Hyunjin gave you a side eye, purposely looking away from you as if you were an inconvenience. You ignored the alphas' behavior in favor of returning Felix's smile, the omega patting the seat next to him with a mischievous look. Chan let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.
“Um, I was actually hoping I could talk to you,” You told Chan, gesturing with your head to a part of the waiting area that didn't have a lot of people.
At this, both Hyunjin and Jeongin turned to look at you, and the others were doing a bad job of pretending like they weren't also listening in. Chan gave you a sheepish smile, turning to hand Hyunjin his sweater.
“I'll be right back.”
You gave the others a strained smile, quickly making your way over to a corner you felt was isolated enough that you wouldn't be heard. Just as a precaution, you lowered your voice anyway.
“Sooo,” you began, giving a glance to the group still behind you. There were far too many eyes on you, including Hyunjin's less than friendly look. You grimaced. “What's his problem?”
Chan glanced back over his shoulder, and Hyunjin immediately looked away. “Ah. That would be … our fault.”
“Come again?”
He sighed. “Felix hasn't stopped talking about you since Saturday. Nothing bad!” He assured you. “He hasn't mentioned … you know.” He gestured to you. “It's just, you know. Bringing you up to the others, trying to see what they think of you.”
“Oh god, is this about the courting?” You groaned, remembering the question he had asked on Saturday.
“When are you planning on courting them,” Felix had said jokingly, nudging Chan on the shoulder.
You had shot the two a look. “Never. It's against the rules.”
Felix raised a brow. “Oh, now you're worried about rules.”
You shot him a look. “I'm serious, Felix. If the company found out I hooked up with Chan, I would be fired on the spot. They can't afford that kind of scandal.”
“I mean-” Chan shut his mouth when you turned your glare to him, raising his hands. “Hey! It's not like either of us knew. You weren't even staff back then.”
“Do you think the company would care? The media? Your fans?”
Felix pursed his lips. “But cant we at least tell the other members?”
“No.”
“Why not? They wouldnt say anything, you can trust them!”
“I wasnt even sure I could trust you,” You told him bluntly. “The only reason I changed my mind was because I didnt want it to affect your relationship with Chan. Dont make me regret that choice.”
Felix had slumped back with a pout. “Okay, okay.”
He had dropped the topic, but you could see he want fully convinced. And now, trying to ignore the harsh judging look you were being given by Hyunjin, you were reassured in your decision against telling them the truth. If thos was how he was acting just at the mention of you …
“He means well,” Chan said softly. “Its just Hyunjin gets jealous, especially when it comes to Felix.”
“Tell Felix to stop talking about me then. I really dont want to have any more issues on this trip,” you groaned.
“Anymore?” Chan's brows pulled down in worry. “Is everything okay?”
“Thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I had a slight hiccup at the check in.” You raised your hand to quiet him when he started to speak. “It's okay, everything is sorted out. But I had to stash something in your suitcase.”
He let out a nervous laugh. “It's not drugs, is it?”
You slapped his arms. “No, it's not drugs.” You both laughed at that. “I gave you my pheromone perfume. It would have been flagged if it went through security.”
Chan scratched the back of his head, looking confused. “I mean, yeah. That makes sense. But how did you know which bag was mine?”
You blinked slowly. “It was the one you handed to the workers, wasn't it?”
He still looked confused.
“Big, black? Wheels on the bottom?” No recognition on his face. Your heart started to beat a little quicker than normal. “Had a silver handle?”
He shook his head. “That doesn't sound like my bag, that sounds like-” He paused, and you had a sinking feeling in your stomach.
You both shared a knowing look.
“Whose bag was it?”
And as if fate itself was controlling your life, pulling the strings on irony, the third disaster reared its head in the shape of a jealous blond dancer.
Chan's head dropped with a bitter laugh.
“It was Hyunjins.”
Fuck.
-0-0-
Taglist: I think I got everyone. If I missed you or you want to be added to the tag list, free free to ask.
@3rachasninja @lilyuwon @brojustfknkillm3 @yukichan67 @mallielovssyou @mintchip17 @iweirdthingsblog @maisyyyyyy @neivivenaj @jc003 @skz-ot8-stay @passionandsuga @ms-flowergirl @kayleefriedchicken @seungmonggg @luvvvash @galaxy4489 @quokkahannie4 @joyofbebbanburg @xxeiraxx @lemonn015 @dazzlingjade @tenshimara @danceonmyheyday @staytinyluv @mamaj-right @dessianna1 @sillyhal @minh0scat @iris-iiridescent
#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz x you#stray kids x you#lee minho x you#stray kids fanfic#bangchan x reader#bangchan x you#chan x reader#chan x you#changbin x reader#changbin x you#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x reader#lee know x you#lee know x reader#felix x you#felix x reader#han x you#han x reader#in x you#in x reader#seungmin x you#seungmin x reader
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one piece smau: dating ace edition
— male reader <3 i love ace so much sorry it took so long to finish this pooks
— im a firm believer that ace definitely types hehehehe and actually does giggle in real life. he's such a giggler.
liked by [l/n].ace, freeluffy, and 17k others
portgas.[name]: best part about dating ace?? his person(a)lity(rms) ❤️
tagged: [l/n].ace
[l/n].ace: damn id smash this fine mffff
-> portgas.[name]: im deleting this post u fucking narcissist
freeluffy: i still win our arm wrestles tho 🥱
roro.zoro: does [name] know he mispelt personality?
-> portgas.[name]: its something called a pun, zoro.
-> roro.zoro: well the delivery sucked i thought ur brain had an aneurysm
revo.sabo: BARRRFFFF this egotistical maniac didnt need this stroke to his ego [name]
-> portgas.[name]: trust me im regretting even dating ur silly ass brother rn
-> [l/n].ace: r u guys talking about me 🥺🥺🥺🥺
liked by portgas.[name], m4rco.polo, and 19k others
[l/n].ace: pov ur on a date with me and watching me try not to vomit all the sushi i shoved into my mouth all over the table
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: why r u on dates w other ppl???
-> [l/n].ace: ITS A JOKE BABY PLS
-> portgas.[name]: mhm
m4rco.polo: damn this shit sounds disgusting id never go on a date w u again if i saw this tbh
[liked by portgas.[name], eee.izo, yammyato, and 100 others]
yamayamato: r u cheating on [name] ace?
-> [l/n].ace: IT WAS A JOKE ITS AN INTERNET SAYING PLEASE
-> yamayamato: yeah well i dont think its very funny :// u should be loyal in a relationship
-> portgas.[name]: yamato <333 u were always my favorite boy ugh i love u sm 🥰
liked by portgas.[name], yamayamato, and 21k others
[l/n].ace: weekly me post bc i love me! (and my mans) 🤓😕
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: yeah im in there guys!!!
-> [l/n].ace: i love u hehehe u make me blush hehehehe
portgas.[name]: are u free tn? i'll take u out and treat u right ughhh
-> [l/n].ace: i got a date with my bf later tn, sorry not sorry !!!
revo.sabo: i need to mute you because i can't be seeing this shit when im in public
-> [l/n].ace: dont be ashamed that your brother is so hot wtf
revo.sabo: with all due respect, im already ashamed that hes my brother in general soooo
[liked by portgas.[name], eee.izo, and 200 others]
yamayamato: my arms are still bigger. get on my level ace HAHAHA
-> portgas.[name]: proof?
-> [l/n].ace: this is literally cheating, you're cheating on me right now. can you please stop cheating on me with yamato?
liked by [l/n].ace, portgas.[name], and 15k others
m4rco.polo: god forbid these two do anything by themselves
tagged: [l/n].ace and portgas.[name]
[l/n].ace: ur just jealous ur not in love like we are
-> portgas.[name]: agreed bc how r u gonna be like 40 and still not get any play
-> m4rco.polo: 40?????
dni_nami: i loveee them (whenever they come over they ruin the entire house and im this close to murdering them both)
-> portgas.[name]: but nami 🥺🥺🥺
-> dni_nami: no.
eee.izo: its like ace is trying to become one with him or smth, so unsettling
-> [l/n].ace: weren't you the one preaching about young love a week ago?
-> eee.izo: and now im telling u to GROW UP ace, he's not going anywhere if u let go of him for two seconds
[liked by m4rco.polo, revo.sabo, and 90 others]
liked by portgas.[name], freeluffy, revo.sabo, and 22k others
[l/n].ace: i love my snookums baby boy handsome pretty king to the moon and to saturn <3
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: ... i guess i love you too.
-> [l/n].ace: be more confident when u say it baby cakes
-> m4rco.polo: oh my god [name] break up with this fool already what the fuck is this
freeluffy: whats a snookums?
-> roro.zoro: don't ask luffy, you wouldn't want to know.
revo.sabo: awww what a cute post, if only ace were normal <3
[liked by eee.izo, m4rco.polo, and 100 others]
-> [l/n].ace: ????
-> portgas.[name]: im so glad we can agree on this sabo !!!
liked by eee.izo, [l/n].ace, revo.sabo, and 22k others
portgas.[name]: rare sighting of a photo of ace with his shirt on, everyone celebrate in the comments !!!
tagged: [l/n].ace
portgas.[name]: dont get me wrong hes sexy both ways but im not trying to see his nipples every where i go
-> [l/n].ace: but babe you said u liked my titties 🥺🥺🥺
-> portgas.[name]: can you not do this rn.
revo.sabo: yayyy finally he stopped being a WHORE
-> portgas.[name]: at least he can be my whore, but still i agree
-> [l/n].ace: you're the most confusing man i know
-> [l/n].ace: i love u sm hehehehe
-> revo.sabo: the way ik his ass is blushing so hard rn and kicking his feet in the air
eee.izo: thank god for that, i was getting tired of seeing him shirtles sin every single post
m4rco.polo: finally !!!
portgas.[name]'s story:
i love him A LOOOTTTTTTTT even though he's a lil freak
[l/n].ace replied to your story: when he posts you 😍😍 i love u too bby (even tho u literally cheat on me to my face with yamato but its wtv bc i love u enough to ignore it ❤️)
#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱#one piece smau#one piece modern au#one piece x male reader#x reader#x male reader#one piece imagines#ace x male reader#ace male reader#ace x reader#portgas d ace x male reader#portgas d ace x reader#ace imagines#male reader imagines#portgas d ace imagines
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Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?
ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy
i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..
ok so
warning, yap session incoming
the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today
it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"
now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).
when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word
now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art
i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it
to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.
idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion
and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck
like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated
im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me
im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time
im not doing anything that he would actually care about
him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)
if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day
people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another
what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2
it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy
i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that
i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do
i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it
once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)
sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom
thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama
bye bye
#asmo goes blahblahblah#my chemical overreaction#idk should i tag this with the will wood tag#on one hand i probably should so more people understand my perspective but i also dont want this to be a better drama than it already is#bleh whatever#fun fact the will wood in a miku binder situation caused me to be anxious about every artwork i post#cus im afraid i didnt consider that people would see the obvious implications that arent actually there#im gonna close my inbox cus#once again#stressful#but yeah. i guess thats it
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Okay, I'm curious cause I've only played Wind Waker, and BotW/TotK: Why is Link sometimes left-handed, sometimes right-handed? I assume it's because of possible motion controls, and not a Lore Reason.
He was definitively left-handed up until they started putting out games on the wii, barring a few anomalies like flipped sprites (there's like one sprite in NES loz where he's got the sword in his right hand) and oot 3d master quest (the entire game is mirrored.) I've heard a few reasons for this, including miyamoto being left-handed and a left-handed sword swing looking better from most angles for the original 2d sprites, but to my knowledge we don't have an official reason as to why this was the general rule. up until botw the answer for the right-hand switch was definitively motion controls--both skyward sword and the wii version of tp would flip depending on the hand the player uses. (I know that in the gamecube version of tp he was always left-handed but I don't have sksw HD so I'm not sure which hand he uses by default with button controls. he's drawn right-handed in pretty much all promo art for that game tho.) However, botw didn't have motion control options but still went with a right-handed link. there are a few potential explanations for that--I wouldn't be surprised if they were toying with the idea of a motion-controlled sword swing early on since the switch does have that capability but ended up scrapping it in the dev process, but it's also entirely possible that since they'd been working with a (predominantly) right-handed link for their 2 most recent home console releases they just. didnt bother switching back. lmfao.
from a lore standpoint though my personal headcanon/theory/whatever you want to call it is that botw link is right handed because that's what's expected of him. Botw link is a character who is very very very conscious of peoples' perceptions of him and the expectations on his shoulders; it's arguably one of his most defining traits pre-memory-loss. When you picture a soldier, you picture the sword in their right hand. I don't think that it's a deliberate CHOICE in-universe to use his right hand, but i do think that being left-handed has the potential to give someone pause when talking about him, which is something that botw link can't have. Nothing can be even slightly out of the ordinary with him, because if it is it's something for the gossip-hungry public to latch onto. (I don't necessarily think that a left-handed link would have been more or less scrutinized in this context than a right-handed one, but being left-handed would have definitely been something of note, especially in the context of a swordsman, and link's whole thing in this game is that he really doesn't want people scrutinizing him any more than they already are.) In this sense, his being right-handed sort of affirms this picture-perfect image he's attempting to project, which is important in the context of the rest of the game. Again, there's no proof that this is actually the reasoning behind the decision, but I personally think the decision to make him right-handed for botw was a good one. I also like that eow went back to left-handed link tho! It's cool that we're getting variety and I think it'd be interesting if they started playing with that difference more in the future beyond just the necessity of hand-switching for motion controls.
#asks#tp is canonically left handed tho. all of his promo art is with the left hand#botw and sksw are the only 2 canonically right-handed ones#actually now that i think about it its kind of funny that one of the 2 links who actually needed his right hand FUCKING LOST IT
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Hi um I saw you write for reaper.. do u have any headcanons on how he shows affection (with a partner)? 🫶
Ofc I can!! This is actually something I like thinking about so it’s gonna be a wombo combo! (≧ᗜ≦)🎀
Contains- Reaper AND Gabriel brain dump.
Rating- E for all of the brains!
Warnings- none
Authors note- so my phone got run over by fire truck and grammarly sucks on this laptop, sincerest apologies for any spelling errors!
Fic starts below the cut!
Gabriel Reyes
♱ Gabriel is an intimedating man to say the least, striking fear into the faces of new recruits, but not with you.
♱Though Gabriel hides his marrital status from the general public and the majority of overwatch, trust he mentions you every time he talks with Jack, Cole, Genji, or even Angela without fail.
♱ He tries his best to stay in the loop with your social life, often getting a little too invested in some petty drama between girls at your workplace.
♱Even when he can't make it, Gabe makes sure you know how much he loves you and not in a boring way, not through a call and most definately not through texts. He sends flowers to your shared home, specially picked out arrangements of your favorite flowers that you mentioned on your first date years ago, hand written letters the size of a light book packed neatly with your name printed beautifully on the front.
♱ He purpously leaves a few sweaters hes worn alot behind while hes away to make sure youll always have something of his even when hes out risking his life.
♱ The second that he enters the door of your shared home hes stuck to you like glue, arms wrapped around your waist as you do dishes and fill him in on whats gone on while hes away, limbs tangled with yours while he falls asleep for the first time in weeks.
♱ He makes sure to find the most beutiful dresses for you so you can attend Overwatch galas alongside him, he knows every curve and dip of your body and soul anyway so what he brings home is perfect always both for you and the occasion.
♱ Among the rubble of the swiss base they recovered tens of letters addressed to you that he never got to send, pages upon pages detailing just how much he missed you and how relived he was to have some vacation days coming up. The pages are fragile and covered in ashes but you kept every last salvageable sheet to reread on those late nights.
Reaper
𓆩𓆪 After joining talon he spent the majority of his time working, taking lives in order to try and forget his last one.
𓆩𓆪 It's not like he didnt want to have you back in his arms but he knew there were far too many concequences, but most of all he didnt want Talon to find you.
𓆩𓆪 Every once and a while you do recive letters, short yet so genuine, you thought they were backlogged letters the search team had forgotten to send but one night you caught him.
𓆩𓆪 Reaper had been standing outide of your home for just a little longer than he usually did, heart aching as he sees all of the changes that happened while he was hiding and you cracked open the door just in time.
𓆩𓆪 After a lot of convincing he stays the night, hesitent to be too close as you heat up some dinner for him.
𓆩𓆪 While he eats his first home cooked meal in what was probably a decade he reaches his scared hand out for yours, touch just barely ghosting on your skin.
𓆩𓆪 He treats you like youre a porcilain doll, his hands cold against your warm skin as he admires you for the ninth time that hour. hes truly afraid to hurt you, he knows how his strength can easily drain the life from a person and hes terrified to lose you again, he wont admit that though.
𓆩𓆪 He comes to visit in the late hours of the night, sneaking into your home to tuck you into the plush sheets of your bed, often times he'll rouse you awake for some much needed affection.
𓆩𓆪 Sombra is quick to pick up on these late night journeys and has gotten quite a few favors from him to keep his secret.
#carmen’s brain🎀#writers curse#writers on tumblr#fanfic#fanfic requests#writeblr#overwatch#reaper x reader#reaper overwatch#gabriel reyes x reader#gabriel reyes
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࿐Give up on me
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
-r
— i'll love you till my breathing stops.
Warnings: soft!rafe, crying, strong language, no happy ending. I honestly love dark Rafe much more but yk
"What the fuck! Is wrong! With you?!" You yelled as cold tears streamed down your makeup smeared face. Sobs coming from you as you stared at Rafe.
The secret that yours and Rafes relationship was only a bet had came out to you. Over a year of dating had all been a lie. And it hurt you. All those mornings he had you wrapped close to him as he kissed you all over your face was a lie. All the times he had said he loved you was a lie. All the things you and Rafe every shared was a lie. And it cut you deep. Your throat tightened as you watched Rafe with blurry eyes. Your heart ached and your stomach was twisting. You loved him, you really did. And it hurt to know that he never loved you back. Your mind going through all the small things you and Rafe had experienced only hurt even more.
"Y/n please-.. Listen to me i didnt- i-" Rafe tried as he locked eyes with you. His heart shattered as he saw your tears. Especially since he was the one that caused them to fall down your pretty face. He had promised to make sure whoever made you cry never placed a hand on you ever again. And now he was the one making you cry.
"No!- no! Dont even fucking talk to me Rafe!.." you cried as you began sobbing even more. His soft voice reminded you of the sweet things he said to you. And it hurt you even more.
Rafe stood there as his anexiety creeped up. He was scared to say something wrong and he didnt want to lose you. He never wanted to. It was all a bet yes. But he had fallen inlove with you. And it was something he couldnt let go of, he thought he was unlovable. No girl had ever showed him as much love as you did. You had understood him in different ways then his past relationships ever had. He had actually managed to think of a future with you. And it destroyed him to think that all if that could possibly end now. You were the first girl he actually cared about and respected.
He was always the tough guy, always the one who was in control. But to you he was different. Only to you. And he had grown attached to you.
But you didnt know that.
You were stuck thinking he never cared about you. And it wouldnt even be a surprise considering you got with Rafe Cameron. Everyone had warned you about him but you gave him a chance.
And you actually thought he was the right one. The way he held you, the way he kissed you, the way he tied your shoes even if you were out in public, the way he took care of you, the way you danced to stupid little tunes whenever you felt like it, the way he bought you flowers, The way he loved you
"I spoke to my mother about you Rafe, i told everyone that i found the right one. I was so fucking stupid werent i? Because all you are after is a slut." You cried as you pointed a finger at Rafe. Which hit a soft spot in him. His eyes began tearing up as he watched this whole situation unfold right infront of him. The person he loved and truly wanted in his life was sad because of him.
Your anger just turned into complete sadness as you realised that this was it. This was the end
"I should have listened when people told me.." you cried. Your voice high pitched because of the way your throat was tightened.
"Y/n I love you.." Rafes voice was weak and he took a step closer to you. The tears in his eyes made you feel slightly bad but you couldnt give in to him again. Not now. Not anymore.
"Stop saying that when you dont!-" you cried out again. You had a lump in your throat and you felt lightheaded. You hated this and you just wanted to go away.
"I give up on you"
Your words hit him like a thousand bricks at once as you snatched up your bag from the counter. Rafe was speechless as you began to walk towards the door. "No-.. no, no no. Y/n!-" Rafe called out with desperation and guilt in his voice, finally acting. He didnt want this to end. He never did. A tear ran down his cheek as he caught up to you before you could leave. He took a hold on your arm but you quickly pulled away and turned to him. Looking in his eyes. Both of your eyes red because of the tears that were both plastered on your faces.
"Never fucking touch me again." You sneered at him and his eyebrows frowned. He didnt want this. He wanted you in his arms again, but the chances if that completely faded as you began walking away from his house. Leaving him heartbroken at the doorframe. Guilt washed over him. Regretting that he ever agreed on that bet. Thinking about how different things would have been if you didnt find out you were a bet.
You heard his cries as you walked. A part of you wanted to turn around and run to him, hug him and tell him its going to be alright. Because a part of you still loved him. You could never stop loving him because you once showed the love you had for him. But all of that was gone. Your future with him was over. Your heart ached. It wanted to re-connect with his. But it hurt you to know this wasnt real.
You had given up on him. Forever.
Taglist: @necroflame 💗💗
#rafe x reader#rafe fanfiction#outer banks#drew starkey#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#fanfic#rafe obx
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can you make fluff alphabet for klaus mikaelson
Fluff alphabet - Klause mikaelson
A = Affection (how affectionate is he?) klaus is a big ball of affection when it comes to you. It’s actually quite funny to see the big bad klaus mikaelson all fluffy
B = body (what’s his favorite body part of yours) i think Klaus loves your stomach, because its a way he could always be touching you. Like he’ll have his hand on your stomach in public to make sure you don’t get separated
C = cuddle (how do they like to cuddle) clause loves holding you. So any way he could hold you would be his favorite.
D = dance (how do they dance with you) Klaus having lived through so many generations of dance would teach you any one you wanted to know, and he’s so elegant with it.
E = emotions (how do they process their emotions around you) Klaus prefers to be around you all times of the day, you keep his emotions at bay, but when he really needs it you just sit and listen to him rant as he paints or while you run your fingers through his hair
F = family (how is he around your family) he hates your family and they hate him all except your little brother/sister. So most of the time he’d just spend time with them and make sure so slightly spoil them, much to your dismay
G = gratitude (how great full are they for you) Klaus is so grateful for you, he loves how gentle you are with him, even knowing the beast he can be at times.
H = honesty (do they have secrets) funnily enough Klaus has no secrets from you, you’d known a lot about him before you’d even met him. They were mostly bad things, so he’d decided there was no point in hiding anything.
I = inspiration (do you change them in any way) you inspire Klaus to be a better person, not for himself but you. He’d hate himself if an enemy of his decided to go after you to get to him
J = jealousy (do they get jealous easily) yes. Klaus is the king of jealousy, he knows you love him but it doesn’t stop the nagging thought that maybe one day you’d have had too much of him and leave him stranded
K = kiss (where is their favorite place to kiss you) he loves to kiss your shoulders, seeing as your always standing in front of him like his queen and that’s the easiest accessible way to kiss you.
L = love confession (how did they confess their love for you) you had to force the confession out of him. You’d grown tired of his mind games, and told him that if he didnt fess up you’d leave him forever. That forced it right out of him.
M = marriage (does they want to get married) i don’t know, i think he would just so you’d have his last name, but other than that I don’t think he’d really care
N = nicknames (what do they call you) love, darling, Gorgeous, beautiful…
O = open (are they open about things) Klaus is very open with you about even his younger days, his family, and his father
P = patience (are they patient with you) Klaus is extremely patient with you, unless your trying to tick him off, then he plays right into your game
Q = quirks (random ability they have that beneficial to the relaxation ship) Klaus has so many abilities its unfair. The enhanced hearing/strength/speed/compelling plus his painting ability
R = romance (how romantic are they) again having lived through multiple generations, Klaus has seen his fair share of romance. So yes he is very romantic
S = security (do the provide safety for you) come on now. This is the original hybrid were talking about. Your more safe than the king of England
T = tender (how soft are they with you) Klaus is incredibly soft and cuddly. He loves you too much to even think about using the strength of a normal human let alone his vampire strength
U = upkeep (how clean are they) klaus is very clean, and extremely well kept. I mean his clothing choices should say it all
V = vulnerability (can they allow themselves to be vulnerable with you) he loves that he can be vulnerable with you, and not have to hide his feelings
W = wholesome (do they do little sweet things) Klaus would do anything for you if you’d ask. But he makes sure to keep up with the little things. Like bringing you flowers, or opening your doors, guiding you up/down stairs.
Y = yearning (how do they act when they yearn to be in your presence) he acts like a complete baby, you can’t count the amount of times Rebekah has called annoyed over Klaus’s whining
Z = zen (what makes them feel calm) klaus likes going to a nearby waterfall with you, listening to you talk and the water falling in the background gives him an unexplainable ammount of piece
#klaus mikaelson x reader#klaus mikaelson#elijah mikaelson#klaus mikealson x reader#elijah mikaelson imagine#klaus mikaelson fluff#rebekah mikealson x reader#rebekah mikaelson#kol mikaelson#kol mikealson x reader#stefan salvatore#the original series#the vampire diaries#damon salvatore x reader#damon salvarote#stefan salavatore x reader#elena gilbert
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Poorlittlekoi’s statement
Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi
I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.
I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.
——————————————————-
“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.
all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.
im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.
many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved
am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.
when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.
now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.
so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change
when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.
its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.
people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.
i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like
this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”
#tccblr#tcc tumblr#tcc columbine#tcc fandom#teeceecee#zero day#eric and dylan#true cringe community#calvin gabriel#caldre#andre kriegman#cal gabriel#zero day movie#elephant 2003#alex frost#zero day 2003
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20 minutes in hell
Recycled from 2023!
Plot: halloween party fun!
Warnings: smut/closet sex/protection/public sex
The time was 8pm when you entered vinces halloween house party, the stink of men and cigarettes danced around the house like it had made its self quite comfortable. You open the front door to see many girls in mini skirts and crop tops strutting around probably trying to be sexy mince or something.
You where begged by a mutual friend ehren to come so he would have someone to talk to, you and ehren where best buddys and he always enjoyed having you around. You werent so close to vince and you definitely didnt like his friend, nikki sixx. Something about him annoyed you, low hygene, loud voice, a "im a sleaze" personality and many more could be the reason but even just seeing him boiled your blood.
You wore a black lacy dress and a cheap witch hat with a little bit of makeup.
You weaved yourself through the croud into the living room where vince the.. whatever he is and ehren the zombie where sitting, vince didnt look to intrested in the conversation, he was too busy looking down the girl who sat on the floors cleavage. "Hey ehren" you tap his sholder, the goofy looking boy turned around smiling brightly "hey your here finally!" You took a seat "hey vince!" He turned round fast at the mention of his name, not seeing you arrive "oh hey yn! Take a seat sure!" he said smiling at you, he turned round to check more girls out.
Ehren unwrapped a 8 pack of beer he had waiting in a bag at his legs and you shared them talking about any stuff you could. Soon enough "hey sixx! Come sit down. Where have you been?" You smelt his arrival before he had even walked in the door, ehren saw your face sour and sighed knowing it had killed your mood. Nikki dressed as satan glanced at you and turned to vince "what the fuck is the scottish prick doing here?" He tried to whisper but he said it loud enough for you to hear "fuck you maybe learn some basic hygiene then we can talk" he darted you a look and stuck the middle finger up "pathetic" you mouth at him. You both turn around and start talking to your friends again "what is it with you two?" Ehren said cracking another can of beer "he thinks hes better because he's famous well he can go suck a fat fucking cock im telling you man" ehren spits out his beer laughing "wouldnt be his first time" he adds making you laugh more.
After you guys finished your 4 cans each ehren headed to the toilet (meaning he will be away for while checking out the house) and you went to the kitchen to get more drink.
After 20 Scuse me's and sorry can i get buys you finally arrived in the kitchen, not too busy but definitely wasnt empty. You opened the fridge to look for more alcohol "whats the deal? You hate me so much that your following me around now?" You head shoots up and you turn round to see the tall black haired man looking down at you with a can of beer in his hand "what the fuck? No im getting drink?" He rolls his eyes "yeah sure. Ive heard that one before" your face went red from anger and embarrassment
"im not fucking following you the only thing following you is the trail of flys and stench" nikki scoffs "i dont smell that bad" you turn round to grab a can of beer from the fridge and notice him smelling himself when you turn back around "now arse whole get out my way and let me back into the living room" he gets visibly more angry "i dont fucking smell bad" his grip tightens on his beer can "whatever makes you sleep at night now let me past" he doesnt budge so you push him making him stumble backwards and head back to the living room.
You sit on the couch alone waiting for ehren to come back. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. 40 minutes where the fuck is he. You find vinces home phone and call him, he picks up after a few seconds
"Hello?"
"Ehren where the fuck are you?"
"I umm..."
you hear a girl giggle in the backround and snap your phone shut, prick. Oh well lets 'mingle'? You get up from your seat and walk around the rooms, none of the men catching your eyes since they all looked the same.
You open the basement door and hear tommys distinct laugh, you got exited and sprinted down the stairs "tommy!" He was resting on the couch dressed as a cowboy and sat up when he saw you, smiling wide "hey darlin!" He got up and gave you a hug
"howve you been?" He looked down at you walking over to the couch "pretty good, yourself?" The slinky man flopped down onto the couch "pretty good!" A fake cough sounded from the couch opposite, nikki. "As i was saying before i was very rudely interrupted" he gave you a harsh look and you found a seat next to tommy. Vince, nikki and a two of their stoner friends where sitting on the couch opposite from you and you sat on a couch with tommy and mick (dressed as a vampire). You forced yourself to listen to nikki talking about some girl that tried it on with him, picking at your nails in boredom.
The room went silent and the feeling of all the boys thinking of something to say filled the air "how about, we play spin the bottle?" Tommy said, all your heads turning go him "i mean we will need a few more ladys but sure!" Nikki said enthusiastically. "ill go get some" vince stood up, walking out to the party.
Nikki chugs the beer bottle he was holding since everyone else had cans, he put it down and you all sat round in a circle waiting for vince to return. "Man im so exited" tommy said breaking the silence, you looked up at nikki panicking at the thought you could get him, he caught your eye "stop drooling over me" this made the boys turn to you noticing your face go red
"was just looking at your fly buddies" mick laughs alot at this one, when mick laughs you know its good. Vince returned with the 4 sluttiest looking girls he could find, more beer and slash, he loved to party with the band "found this douche wandering around upstairs!" Slash waves at you all and heads over to nikki to sit "hey dude!" Nikki smiles at him. After we all settled round a circle you were sat next to slash and mick, nikki and vince sitting straight across from you and the other girls scattered inbetween the rest.
Round one- mick and vince, a quick peck and alot of laughter after
Round two- tommg and girl number 1, she blushed but he gave her a light hearted smile back
Round three- you and girl number 4, the boys got exited but you werent giving them what they wanted so you gave the girl a quick kiss.
"Ugh this is boring" vince complained and everyone nodded "how about seven minutes in heaven but heres the twist here me out ive been thinking of it for awhile you all looked at vince equally as contused, nothing that came out his mouth was predictable "so the men switch clothes like we throw them in a pile cover our eyes and just wear what we lift and the girls go shove on my clothes, i have a bunch of old halloween masks and we play the game in silence" you all went silent thinking of his stupid idea, not so stupid to be honest. "Im in" you say and everyone started agreeing "okay so the masks are down here ill get them out and leave four at the door, girls go get changed"
You trailed behind the rest of the girls up to vinces room noticing the party was dying at the absence of the boys. You walked into the room and the stink off aftershave lingered in the air, grabbing a pair of baggy black joggers and a baggy black shirt that was crumpled. You entered his bathroom that connected to his room to get changed and shoved on your outfit as quick as possible to get out of the akward situation, you put on the shirt and it read "i love vince neil" now you look like a slut for him. Great.
You left without the girls and headed to the basement door where you could hear fumbling but no words, looks like the boys where taking this seriously. You waited till the noise of clothes getting shoved on stopped and opened the door to see four rubber halloween masks, bunny, gorilla, bird and a cat. You grabbed the cat mask shoving it on fast, the faint smell of smoke from the inside combing through your nostrils, you walked down the stairs greeted by a dog, horse, another bird, another cat, mouse and a zombie. When the girls came down you all silently sat in a circle and one of the girls span the bottle fast, leaving it spinning for some time. It landed on the other cat and he span the bottle again just as fast, you watched the bottle go round and round and round almost becoming hypnotised. It slowed down and your breath caught your throat as it landed on you
"WHY ME" you screamed in your head standing up slowly with the cat who sat only two people away.
He took your hand gently and led you to the closet in the extension room in the basement. You entered the pich black closet and stumbled over a few shoes as your hands found the mans shoulders, he was tall and quite wide built. You both took off your masks still unable to see eachothers faces, the mystery man grabbed your face and started kissing you roughly it scared you at the beginning but you realised he really knew what he was doing so let him beat up your mouth with his own. As you started making out it became more clear who it was, tall, built and smells nice. Its slash. You didnt mind this, slash is hot so you continued, smiling lightly. He removed his shirt and started slipping off yours, you gasped softly not sure if this was the original plan but you never got bitches so once again let it happen. Slash started feeling your breasts through your lacy bra making you whimper softly and tangle your hand in his long hair, he slowly unclipped your bra and started licking your nipple and playing with the other in his hand. Your moans become louder as he speeds up, stopping to unzip his jeans and you sigh at the loss of contact. The tall man finds his way onto the ground, his jeans and pants removed. You take off your joggies and pants, not sure if you wanted to do it with slash since he might have multiple stds but before you could think of your next plan he got out a condom, you could only tell it was one from the small light that reflected off it. He whimpered softly as he slipped on the condom as you sat on his legs watching him, taking in this weird moment. Your about to have closet sex with slash hudson.
Slash gently moves you onto your back and taps your thigh for consent to eat you out, you hummed a permission and he went straight for it. His tongue darting between your folds and your clit, your back arching at the sudden movements. He pulled your legs closer to him and started going faster, sticking his tongue inside occasionally as you moaned loud grabbing his hair. He brought his finger in and started circling your clit while licking your entrance, his other hands holding your wrists together to get some sort of control. Your moans became uncontrollable and desperate as you met your high, he noticed and continued what he was doing with intent to let you finish first. A minute later you where a moaning mess, cumming into his mouth. Hes an expert at this shit. You sat up and he lifted you onto his lap, his hard dick resting against your stomach as he moved his hand over your forehead to clean it of sweat.
You moved your hand down and started feeling his covered tip and he rested his head against your sholder, his dick was really hard. You started pumping him slowly at the base before lifting yourself up, letting your pussy hover over his dick to tease him and to ask him for consent. He moved his dick to where your entrance is and grabbed your hips pushing you down harshly "oh fuck" you both moaned out, you paused hearing a voice that didnt belong to slash and he paused too clearly hearing your accent. "Y/n?" the voice said cowardly
"NIKKI?"
You shrieked, trying to get up. He held your hips down, his hard dick still inside you "cmon its only fair you finish me off since i made you such a riot" you stuttered and froze looking down at where the sleazy idiots voice sounded. He didnt sound so harsh and as much as you hated to admit it you where enjoying youself so you did as he asked, bouncing softly building up a pace. Feeling slightly turned on by the fact your fucking the guy you hate the most. He let out small whimpers and groans and you grinded against him moaning yourself "your so good when your mouths shut" he moaned out "shut up prick" you kissed his jaw line and continued grinding on him feeling yourself approaching your second orgasm.
He turned on the closet light that hung from a string next to him. You felt exposed but you where fascinated by him, his face red and stray hairs sticking to his forehead "fuck you look amazing" he said smiling and tilting his head back further. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you relentlessly as you practically screamed in pleasure, resting your head on his sholder. "Nikki im so close" saying his name felt like needles in your mouth and he rested his head on your sholder slowing down "for someone who hates me so much you are really liking this huh?" Your face went somehow more red as he stopped still inside you, angry at him for ruining your orgasm "what the fuck are you doing!" you puzzled
"edging you? What does it look like?" You brows furrowed "fine let me go ill go finish myself off somewhere else with someone else" you tried to move your hips off him but he only held them tighter holding you down, the tip of his dick brushing your cervix "no. Im finishing" he sounded more angry but it just turned you on more, he slowly pulled out a little and thrusted back in, doing tiny fast thrusts staring right into your eyes.
Sweat rolled down his face and his green eyes became wider as you finished, your pussy throbbing around his dick. Before he could moan you attached your lips to his, kissing as he moaned into your mouth "fuck fuck im really close" he whimpered, still thrusting into you. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you as hard as he could like you werent even there, you where his own little toy. He muttered stuff like "fuck you feel amazing" and "holy shit" as he came into the condom, his body softly pulsing as he rested on your sholder, panting for air.
After two minutes of resting against eachother naked you stood up slowly, in pain, seeing the white balloon that covered his dick. He rested his head back and you took the condom off him carefully being careful not to spill any cum on him, his head darted up at your sudden kindness. You just dumped the used condom in the bin that sat in the corner, you sat next to him, both of you still naked "so um, you got any tissues? Im dripping down here man" he laughed and picked up the 'i love vince neil' shirt, wiping you clean "thanks nikki" you said shyly "hey its alright, thanks too" you both looked down at your legs. Two minutes later you started shoving on clothes again, nikki giving you his clean shirt to wear and you just shoved back on the joggies leaving him shirtless.
You exited the closet to see a whole group of people sitting around. Shit. You both forgot it was seven minutes in heven not 20 minutes in hell. The croud went silent as they saw you "holy fucking shit" tommy said breaking the silence "that sounded hot, when is it my turn?"
#Spotify#motley crue#mötley crüe#nikki sixx#80s#tommy lee#vince neil#mick mars#nikki sixx fanfic#nikki sixx fanfiction#halloween#halloween fic
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Pro-gamer!Gojo, Geto, Sukuna, and Toji
Writing this on my phone because life been putting me thru a meat grinder and i dont have the time to write an actual fic so i'mma ramble about the fic i been writing in my head when i dissociated
Imagine e-sport AU JJK
Youre a girl that's joining a 5 members first person shooter esport team call Curse Technique (CTQ) cuz women respresantation in esport fucking damn it
Your teammates are Gojo (Sixeyes), Geto (spiriteater), Sukuna (malevolent), and Toji (topji)
Theyre all streamers turn pro-gamers and are the most cocky bastard alive. The have never lose a single tournament ever since the game launched.
They got scouted by CTQ organizations from their stream when the game first launch
They fight each other for the second position on the leader board.
Note how i say second
Because someone with the in-game name KandyCat have the top position. Undefeated. Many have tried. But they cant even come close to thag ranking score
And goddamn did the 4 of them tried. They did a 1 week subathon with the sole purpose of tryna take the number 1 spot. They got their ass handed to them by said KandyCat in their solo rank games. So they temporarily gave up.
They always curios who this KandyCat is tho, becaude they are not a streamer, there are nothing about them on the internet beside the fact that theyre number one on the game leaderboard.
Over times, their curiosity and completitiveness against KandyCat before some sort of admiration and obsession. They really want to know who this person is and learn from them.
Now let's talk about when the team manager introduced you to them.
They thought you were their new assistant. They were expecting their last teamate would be another well known streamer or pro-player
The disbelief on their face when your manager said "this is y/n, she's your 5th member and also will be your in-game leader"
You almost let out a snicker
They threw a tantrum. That's for sure. Not cuz youre a girl. It's cuz theyre prideful as fuck
They cant fathom how a literal no body, someone they never heard of before, be their leader?!? Theyre literally the top 5 players of the game. Impossible. No. If leader is one of them, the rest will be bitter but they still relinquish. But their leader is someone they have never heard of before??? They wont stand for this
No. They refused "she can be our leader if she can beat all 4 of us in 1v1s" sukuna scoff and for the first time theyre all in agreement about something.
"Sure!" You said "let's make it more fun by placing a bet, whoever win get a wish from the loser"
Your manager, nanami, just sigh a long sigh and let yall duke it out on the game.
You logged into your account (y/n0nt0p) and gojo immediate poke fun of you "after this you should chsnge it to y/nthebottom"
They were all so confident. Already thinking of what their wish gonna be.
LOL MAN DID THEY GOT THEIR ASS HANDED TO THEM
They could not even land a shot on you
For the first time in their career they went negative on their Kill Death ratio. It was tragic. You were abusing mechanic they have never seen before. Taking angle they didnt know exist. Shooting through wall they didnt know were made out of paper.
They were floored
Complete. Utter. Defeated.
"How?" Toji, the last one to went against you, ask in disbelief.
" You surely dont think this is my main account right? I dont even have any cosmetic on here" you said with a smirk, hinting to them that this isnt the account you will be competing under.
Nanami let out another sign, he need painkiller after this "if you would let me finish introduced her before throwing a tantrum, you coulda save your pride." He said while shaking his head "y/n will be competing under an alias "KandyCat" or Cat, she specifically put in the contract that she does not want her identity to be out in the public including her appearance so----"
"KANDYCAT?!" Gojo shouted cutting nanami off once again.
"The. KandyCat??? Number one player on the leader board. That KandyCat?" Getou said, not believing his ears
Poor men.... theyre going thru so many shocking things in one day. It's like their word just got turned upside down.
Honestly, i havent thoughts about it after this but it would be fun to be like a choose your own adventure fic. Where they all fell head over heel for you over the course of the competitive season.
#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#geto suguru#prairie's rambling#geto#gojo#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna x reader#gojo x reader#suguru geto x reader#jjk headcanons#toji#toji x reader#gojo headcanons#geto headcanons#sukuna headcanons#toji headcanons#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu sukuna#gojo jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu geto#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu ryomen#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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18+ / mdi
content: f2l!jun, jealous!jun, a lil bit of possessiveness, he's in love with u, afab reader, smut, penetrative sex, semi-public sex, etc.
wc: 1994
a/n: i love writing jun he's so ... he's so jun
masterlist
jun was an idiot.
okay, maybe that was too harsh.
no, actually that was pretty much correct.
because if he wasnt an idiot he wouldnt be standing here right now, watching as the pretty bartender flirted with you.
had he acted on his feelings earlier (or literally ever), he wouldnt have to watch as the bartender gave you free drink after free drink, clearly slipping you his number on a napkin. what did he have that jun didnt? balls? yeah, maybe. but it wasnt fair! jun was your best friend, it's not like he could just give you his number and call it a day. you already had his number! that, and he needed to go through the whole 'sorry, i know we're just friends, but id like to submit an application for the promotion to boyfriend now.' he already had a whole thing going with you; a very platonic thing.
so now all he could do was sit there and watch. watch you in your pretty dress, hugging your body in the most delicious of ways, as the bartender looked you up and down, almost as if he was planning the easiest way to eat you right there and then. jun needed to stop this. you didnt seem uncomfortable or even phased by it, just showing plain disinterest, so he really had no valid reason to storm over there and drag you away. which is why he wasnt sure why he did just that.
you knew jun as a bit of a weird guy. someone who just did things without much thought in mind. so it didn't surprise jun when you didnt question him upon marching up to you, churning out an excuse of 'we need to go to the bathroom!' before pulling you away from the bartender's vicinity.
to be fair, he did take you to the bathroom. he quite literally took over the bathroom, walking you in and locking the door behind him, not allowing any other person to enter. it was an exaggerated yet ominous act. once he calmed himself down a bit, he turned back to you as you looked at him with wide eyes, head turned slightly to the side, clearly confused at his actions. okay, yeah, this was weird. even for jun standards.
"what was that?" you asked, wondering why he was being extra dramatic than usual.
"uhh .. that? just, i .. i didnt- i didnt like the way he was looking at you .." jun was never good at thinking on his feet. he needed time to formulate answers and think. and even then, he would sometimes stumble over his words, just like now.
"what? he just gave me his number. it's not like-"
"no! you should- you should throw it away. uh, please?"
"why would i do that? he was cute, i was thinking of hitting him up an-"
"NO!," his words interrupted you again, leaving his mouth before he could think.
"jun, what's wrong with you today ..?"
"listen, i ... i- it's just .."
"jun! what is it??" you were clearly growing more and more confused by the second. jun needed to salvage the situation. except, in true jun fashion, he did the opposite of what he intended.
"i like you, okay?," he gulped loudly before continuing, "i dont want a stupid bartender giving you his number. i dont want to see guys staring at you at the gym. i dont want jeonghan flirting with you. it's- it's all driving me crazy. i know i shouldve told you, okay? i know. i'm too late, i know. i shouldve asked you from the day we met. but you were so ... and- and i panicked! i love being your best friend, i do. but- but i just like you so much. i like you and i dont know what to do. i-"
"jun."
"no, listen! i get it. we're best friends and we've been best friends forever, and i know you don't see me that way, but-"
"jun!"
"-but watching you get attention from all these guys is just making me so- it's driving me insane. i cant stand the thought of you with someone else anymore. i know you havent really dated since we met, but even the thought makes me-"
"wen junhui! shut up!!"
he finally slammed his mouth shut at this, finally allowing your interruption to get through to him. he was now paying full attention to you. you were closer than he remembered before he started senselessly ranting at you. you were right in front of him, actually, staring up at him with eyes he had never seen before.
you grabbed his arms, limp at his sides, and wrapped them around your waist, now pressing the two of you almost chest to chest. he didn't know where this was going, but he'd allow you to do whatever you wanted as long as it meant it was him you were looking at and no one else.
"junnie ... you're such a fucking idiot."
okay. he already knew that.
"i like you too."
wait, what?
he gaped at you, "what?"
very smooth.
"you're so fucking stupid. you couldve just told me you liked me," despite your insults, you now had your arms wrapped around the back of his neck, almost pulling him down to you. it had his heart beating like crazy as he kept his own arms wrapped around you.
"i- you liked me?!"
"yes, you idiot! why do you think i havent dated anyone since we met?"
"i thought maybe you just didnt have any game, i dont know!"
"jun!"
"shit. sorry, i meant- hmph!"
your attack on him had been too quick for him to even process. without having realized, you had pulled him down the rest of the way, quite literally launching an attack on his lips with your own. for a few seconds he just stood there, eyes wide in surprise as he let you kiss him with no reciprocation. he was too shocked to respond, despite how badly he wanted to. it went like this until you pulled away, probably thinking this wasnt what he wanted.
he panicked once again, immediately pulling you back to his lips, backing you up against the nearest wall. that's when he really started to perform to his full potential. he pulled all stops, feeling nothing but pure bliss at finally feeling your lips against his. he licked frantically into your mouth, running his hands up and down every inch of your body, sighing at every moan that escaped your mouth and entered his.
he felt like he was on cloud nine, with you so pliant against his hold. suddenly an animalistic sense deep within him started to come out. every soft sigh you released against him, and every shudder of your body had his resolve breaking. he had to hold back from picking you up and pounding you into the wall. whatever it was that was taking over him, he had never felt before. there was a cloud in his mind giving him sinister thoughts; thoughts of you crying as he pistoned into you, letting all his desires finally release after the years-long wait for you to land in his arms.
"w-want you so fucking bad. please ...l he opted for communicating his desires, wanting nothing more than for you to reciprocate his insane want for you.
your response was found in you licking into his open mouth as he spoke, whispering at him to do whatever he wanted to you, claiming you had waited far too long to feel him. revealing that you thought of him every night and that your resolve had broken long ago.
his eyes rolled back at your lust, knowing his matched by a tenfold. he made quick work of your dress, pulling it up to uncover your crotch while pulling his own pants down just enough for him to begin rubbing his length against the thin cloth of your panties. he wanted your nude body so badly, but he knew it wasnt the time nor place. he'd save that vision for another day (most likely an hour or so, maybe after making you scream his name in the pub's bathroom).
"junnie ... please just-fuck! just fuck me," he understood your rush, already growing drunk on the feeling of his cock rubbing against your delicious cunt. god, that was yet another thing he needed to save for later; your thighs suffocating his head as he licked every drop of arousal out of you.
no. he needed to concentrate. he needed to get his cock wet and warmed up by your pretty cunt. and that's exactly what he did next, moaning out at the feeling of you enveloping him almost as if he'd belonged there all along.
"that's ... shit, that's such a pretty cunt, baby. fuck ..."
"wanted this cunt for so long, shit, fuck. it's so fucking good."
"all mine now ... no one else can have it .."
"fuck, gonna take you home and keep you locked in my room. go-gonna fuck you every day to make up for lost time, shit."
he couldn't help the candid words leaving his mouth. his mind kept screaming at him to show you how fucking badly he wanted you. there was nothing more perfect than the feeling of your body against his, all while your mewls of pleasure filled his ears. the thought of taking you home and keeping you in his arms forever made him feel like he was in nirvana. it almost overpowered the actual feeling of nirvana your cunt was giving him as you strangled his cock between your walls.
god, your cunt. he always knew you'd feel like heaven, but nothing couldve prepared him for this. no longer did he ever have to worry about the platonic wall that had been placed between him and your beautiful body (and mind and soul and everything else). now he had you all to himself, and he'd never let another man even imagine being in his current position.
"junnie ... need to cum. please. y-you're so fucking big. fuck!"
he needed to hear more of you. needed you to cry about his big cock bruising your cervix. so, he did what any reasonable person would and began pistoning in and out of you at a savage pace, feeding on the cries of pleasure leaving your lips.
"th-right there! fuck! junnie, please ... do-don't stop. gonna cum. g-gonna- shit ..."
not a single sentence could leave your body anymore as jun finally triggered your impending orgasm, with your own end dragging his out of him almost immediately.
the two of you breathed heavily against each other, hands unable to separate from the other's body for even a second. it felt comfortable; right. it was as if you'd done this together before. he felt like this was what he was supposed to be doing all along.
"do you really like me back?"
"jun, you idiot. yes! i wouldnt have let you fuck me in a dirty pub bathroom if i didnt like you."
"ah. hah, just making sure," he wasnt too sure where the horny monster inside of him had gone, now going back to his slightly awkward demeanor.
"now ... are you gonna make good on your promise?"
"huh?"
"gonna take me home and keep me locked up in your room?"
oh. you were flirting with him. your hands were rubbing at the back of his ear, making him swoon at your delicate touch. fuck, you were good at this. one word from you and he was putty in your hands. but it was fine. he liked it that way.
"y-yes."
"then take me home, baby. show me what you've been wanting to do to me all this time"
jun made a mental note to thank the bartender on his way out for making him jealous enough to act on his feelings as you dragged him away, clearly just as eager to get on his bed.
thank fucking god for that stupid bartender.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#seventeen smut#svt smut#jun smut#jun fanfic#jun x reader#jun scenarios#jun imagines#jun oneshot#junhui x reader#junhui smut#junhui fanfic
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I hope this isn’t too much of a bother but do you have any hcs abt grays time in avatar? Cannon is frustratingly vague about his time there. Have a nice day!
i totally thought i responded to this days ago holy shit its been a minute
I havent read or watched the avatar arc in forever, and refuse to do it again so i played it a bit fast and loose with the dynamic
This gets a bit dark, just a little forewarning
* if you asked the mages that shared his time at avatar, Gray had earned the reputation of someone callous and cold and untouchable, who didnt get his hands dirty
* he used more charismatic techniques to obtain information, or fear, but it was rare to see him physically harm them
* If you asked Gray about his time in avatar, he wouldn’t give you a straight answer, if he gave one at all
* Avatar knew who he was, for an undercover mission he wasnt under a whole lot of cover. He was sent in as himself, his “cover/backstory” was a lot of half truths and a warped narrative
* He climbed through the ranks faster than expected, which caused a lot of rumors and speculation, such as maybe the ‘Higher Ups’ were so enthralled by an ex-light guid member turning over they rushed him through, or he did something so heinous they were impressed, or maybe he slept with them
* there were a lot of rumors.
* Of course, most arent true, Gray just had more to offer than the average person
* In most dark guilds / cults there are ‘trials’ of sort to prove someone loyalty, hazings of sorts
* He had to go through them ten times over
* It lasted weeks, around a quarter of the time spent at Avatar was his ‘initiation’
* There were certain points where Gray thought they might actually break him
* He refused to use his ice-make magic during his time in Avatar, he couldnt bear using Urs magic for something like this
* He developed these piercing migraines from his eyes constantly darting around his surrounding, and he rarely slept
* Avatar wasnt a inherently paranoid guild, but it was protective and unrelenting, being caught as a traitor was terms for a public violent execution
* There were two other alleged traitors in Grays time there, when they were accused they were tortured and executed in front of the entire ‘guild’
* and he wouldn’t allow himself to even twitch in case that set his own death in motion, It just served to further his reputation
* He never told Erza about this.
* Despite his reputation, the untouchable aura he gave off proved attractive to some people, they thinking being seen fraternizing with someone like him would earn them some respect, and given some of the rumors surrounding him, they thought he would reciprocate
* He didnt, for obvious reasons, and he often left the more handsy and assertive with frostbite and frozen to the ground for hours
* He had bi-weekly check-ins with Erza so he could relay his and their progress and so she could gauge his mental state; Gray gave her watered down versions of the things hed seen and endured during the months he was there unless it pertained to what she needed to close the operation
* He and Erza had a system where he would call her and she would help him smuggle out any victims Avatar took for information or as a message
* He had killed once while in Avatar, it was a man they were ‘interrogating’ who couldn’t provide anymore information and they couldnt just let him go, so they entrusted Gray taking care of him while they watched, it was a test to see if he would, it was as fast and humane as killing someone can be but he will never ‘get over’ it
* He can still remember exactly how he looked, how he sounded, down to the smallest detail
* That was what almost broke him
* He didnt draw it out, it was fast and clean, which was another reason for his ‘doesn’t get his hands dirty’ reputation
* He tried to live by the ‘the ends justify the means’ principle, he survived Avatar by doing what he had to, regardless of what that was that was
* He tried so hard to help himself cope with it, but he just couldnt no matter how hard he tried
* Even though he acted annoyed when the rest of his team burst into Avatar and tore down his whole operation, he was relieved, so fucking relieved he didnt have to stay any longer
* The transition after Avatar was, for lack of a better term, fucking terrible. there was a lot of panic and guilt and paranoia and dissociating to get him through it
* He trained his instincts to act to the slightest trouble, which would be fine considering every movement towards him before was trouble
* But hes back with his friends now, with the people who wouldnt hurt him. So instead of being proud of his reflexes all he feels is panic and guilt
* Gray was constantly searching for an exit and always kept one open and in sight, and would forget he was with safe people and lash out if they blocked one
* Months following the reformation of Fairy Tail held a lot of blanks for Gray, his brain in an attempt to finally protect him would have him go on autopilot, dissociate. He did this a lot early on after Deloria but he thought he ‘grew out of it’, clearly not
* His sleep got even worse after Avatar, he thought the familiar environment would help him but it only made him more on edge
* He knew what could happen to them if he let himself sleep at the guild, the thought of something happening while was taking a fucking nap was nauseating enough that his brain wouldn’t let him let his guard down enough to feel tired
* And sleeping at home was out of the question completely, if a dark mage decided tonight was the night for vengeance against him for tearing apart their cult, how could he defend himself if he was asleep?
* This was fine for a while, but when the adrenaline crash of no longer actually needing to be on guard 24/7 and the weeks of no more than half an hour (involuntary) naps caught up to him, it caught hard
* i mean, it was brutal, collapsed at the first moment of relative peace he came across, it felt almost like withdrawal, with a lot of sleeping
* in some ways he feels so fucking angry and almost betrayed by Erza for asking him to go undercover for her, for making him go through everything he did. But he knows if he didnt its possible she wouldve, and he would do it all over again if it meant that wouldnt happen.
* In other way, hes angry at himself for letting himself get to this point, for letting them break something in him like they did.
* He’ll realistically never be able to go back to before, never be able to trust people, his friends, truly and without reservation again
i hate the avatar arc sometimes but it provides such good material
#fairy tail#a lot of rhis is worldbuilding for some reason#gray fullbuster#erza scarlet#sun strickens ft#sun stricken answers#fairy tail headcanons#natsu dragneel#lucy heartfilia#i mean theyre implied to be there#so#angst is my favorite snack#gray and his violent guilt complex vs having to become a dark mage#who will win?!#hopefully therapy#avatar arc
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