#and again I am not attacking anyone
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Not to be that person but I've been reading some critiques of totk and how it handles imperialism (and perpetuates pro-imperialist sentiment), and it makes me feel like I'm standing on the sidelines tapping my foot anxiously cause while I agree with the general argument cause yes it does in fact have pro-imperialist sentiment it fails to point out that it comes from Japan. Japan with its own history of imperialism and imperialism apologism specifically. So it's very close to but slightly off mark and makes me frustrated. Especially since this is not the only time Nintendo has inserted pro-imperialist sentiment (looking at you Po/kemon legends:arce/us) and How You Are Not Immune to Propaganda (@ Nintendo devs).
But I refuse to speak of it in detail as I am not Japanese, I am not Asian, and I'm too unqualified (both temporally with relation to my studies and also not in-depth enough) to speak on the subject.
So I'll just sit here. Leg stimming anxiously like I have restless leg syndrome cause yeah I completely agree but I would normally go about explaining why in a slightly different direction but alas I should not and will not.
The only, only thing I will say though, if to make this post relevant to anyone reading this, is that people need to understand that one has to approach Hyrule through the lens that it is created by a Japanese company. The Hyrule religion is based on the Japanese state religion and specifically inspired by the kind that emerged after the Meiji Revolution. This is pertinent to understanding the Hylia lore and Zelda and why the monarchy is Like That, and why it keeps popping up again and again and why they refuse to move away from that model. And this directly ties into the Japanese pro-imperialist sentiment we see in these games.
#I am not tagging this#except maybe#the Discourse#the pro-imperialist sentiment that seeps into this game is part of the reason I cant enjoy this game As Much as bo/tw#not that bo/tw was clean by any means in that department#cause you can feel some problems there but they're not as Relevant to ingame present times excluding the Yiga maybe#but yeah to/tk has some Big problems with that#I can accept that it is flaws with Rauru as a person#but also eugh#anyway I reccomend all of you to study Japan's modern mythos#and how the myth of the Emperor and how the Meiji government revolutionize while cementing the grounds that will become Imperial Japan#and how and why Imperial Japan was like that and what they did#and how just like in the West with its imperialism#Japan seeks to revise history and deny their atrocities and continue to do so#anyways#This is not an anti-Shinto-ism post I am not against its existence#but like many religions it can and has been weaponized by Imperialism#and again I am not attacking anyone#I just think there should be discussion here about these things specifically#edited: for clarity
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I have seen multiple Demon Twins AUs where Damian sees Danny, assumes he is a clone and tries to kill him. Then after the truth is revealed, Danny is just like, "oh okay no big deal! He just thought I was a clone." Then they hug or something. But I disagree?
Yes, Danny is very forgiving of harm done to him, he is friendly with a lot of ghosts who have attacked him. But how friendly is he with people who hurt those he cares about? Even more so, those who aren't even sorry about their actions? I can see Danny forgiving Damian for trying to kill him. I am more skeptical about him forgiving if it was done purely because he was believed to be a clone.
Danny, who has a clone he actually cares about, would be more pissed by this explanation, not less. I can see him thinking something like, "Oh you thought murder was okay because they were a clone? You don't think their life has value?" This explanation would do the opposite of reassure Danny. I can even see him feeling a kinship, a brotherhood, with Damian's dead clones. I can see him, a dead teen himself, mourning them.
This isn't really fair to Damian for sure. He has a lot of legitimate trauma around cloning. Even more so if we use the idea that he (and Danny in this AU) were test tube babies. And he has worked so hard to grow and change and leave his more violent upbringing behind him. His long lost twin believing him to be nothing more than a violent murderer would hurt a lot.
But even so... No matter what their relationship was like before, Danny would not trust Damian after this. How could he trust someone who would have killed Dani?
Idk, I just haven't seen a single demon twins AU where Danny is defensive of clones and I think it is a huge missed opportunity for angst and drama.
#And I don't think just an apology and a promise to not kill Dani would be enough. He would need to PROVE he can be KIND to clones#which is something i am not sure Damian has the ability to do without a lot of therapy. Because like did he ever work out this trauma?#I think he would just get defensive and that makes Danny more mad#And again yes Damian has very valid trauma but that doesn't excuse the murder attempt actually#What if I wrote a fic dealing with this exact conflict? Just kidding. Unless? UNLESS?? Would anyone want this???#I LOVE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS. I love the idea of the demon twins AU but like none of them have the level of relationship drama i crave#I want them to be forced to see things from each other's point of view.#Danny needs to see just how much Damian's past experiences with cloning traumatized him.#Perhaps especially because the clone that KILLED him had his dead brother's face?#Meanwhile Damian needs to see that maybe attacking someone without even trying to talk to them first is bad actually.#I just want a Damian centric fic to actually address his clone trauma. There are like none that do. Is that too much to ask?#Actually maybe even a fic were Danny IS Damian's clone could be really interesting too#damian wayne#damian al ghul#danny phantom#danny fenton#damian and danny are twins#demon twins au#batman#dc comics#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp#danyal al ghul
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super fun trade with @charseraph !
#my art#monster art#illustration#looove this design thank you again for letting me tackle em!#this is a slightly different version than I sent you - some things were bothering me! let me know if you want the bigger file <:^)#1st art of 2023. starting off weird and pledging to stay weird. sometimes#currently redecorating my entire room which has been ugly and unchanged since moving in two and a half years ago. so less art yet again#sorry. big things to come though#also scrumpy (cat) is in his attack everything stage but i think he's a feminist because he likes me. so i forgive him#however my mom says he is misogynist because he only cares about me for my tiddies (for sleeping on) and not my personality#anyone want to chime in? i want to like him but i will cancel him if he's evil#i am once again apologising for using the notes function in this way btw. i have a lot of thoughts in my mind#and need to write them down. unfortunately
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Remember I first started to write Lofi Beats to Capture Children to, around two years ago based on the entire Concept that the Daycare Attendant was built with child napping, and nefarious purposes in mind?
Wondering who could have possibly made him and that I basically said the Daycare Attendant seems built with similar purposes that Circus Baby and the Funtime Animatronics have? That the Daycare Attendant is meant to be a death trap for the children outside of the Virus? A Child-napping, and Child-sleeping machine built to bring the Children to Vanny specifically and the Virus had very little to do with this???
That he was Meant to be Vanny's Puppet from the start? To do her bidding?
......
I'm feeling really good about myself and my headcanons right now.
#fnaf#help wanted 2#help wanted 2 spoilers#The Daycare Attendant fnaf#Moondrop fnaf#Moon fnaf#I am just so happy that Moon and Vanny are partners in crime#It seems he serves her#He's the one who appears the MOST in the minigames#AGAIN no attacking anyone's headcanons#I am just happy I made a call a long while back#danachan's rants#I am so excited about this game I'm forgetting to tag my rants
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Hate to burst anyone's bubble but I don't think L would've revealed his face to Light if the latter wasn't Kira. The Kira case was the only case in which L shows his identity to anyone besides Watari because it's the first time he (and his authority) has been challenged like this (with the majority of the Japanese task force leaving since they can't trust L coz of the FBI incident).
If Light weren't Kira and went on to become an NPA officer like his father, he might work with L on some cases together but that doesn't mean L would've revealed his identity to him, however intelligent this particular NPA officer may be.
Like I ship Lawlight very much and I'm not (in this post, that is) referring to anyone exploring the idea of non-Kira!Light with L in their AUs as bad (I like those AUs too), but let's remember that it wouldn't be plausible if we're going by canon. Even if Ohba said somewhere that they'd work together if Light weren't Kira, I'm sure he didn't mean working together as in face-to-face.
#that doesn't stop Light from being L's most favorite detective in the NPA tho#but i doubt that L would show his face to him just because Light's a genius like him#again i am not attacking anyone loving the idea of non-kira!Light & L working together (i'm one of those people; hi) and#reading (hello again) or writing about it in AUs#but that's not canonically plausible?#i can only think of one scenario where it's plausible#it's when L & non-Kira!Light are working on a case that's even bigger than the Kira case which requires showing your identity#anyways if i'm wrong feel free to correct me!#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#musings#p#my meta
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So Noah is openly being a zionist online... AGAIN. I'm seeing a lot of people wanting to leave the fandom- which I support, if you can drop this then you should. But if you're like me and it's not that simple, here are a couple rough tips that might help;
Pro-tip; instead of paying for Netflix and helping support genocide and the zionists in the cast/crew, cancel your subscription and send that money to charities that are bringing aid and resources into Gaza!
Pro-tip 2; buy fan content and nothing liscenced! Fan works are often better quality than the show- from drawings, to writing, to pins... it's worth the money and you aren't sending money to people openly supporting genocide and the murder of children!
Pro-tip 3; if you are going to continue taking part in fandom, like myself, do not do so in silence. Palestinians are being murdered and we can't pretend that it isn't happening simply because we have hyperfixations that we can't get rid of.
Pro-tip 4; join boycotts! Not only the monetary boycott of Netflix and Stranger Things, but- at least- the three main boycotts; McDonalds, Disney+ and Starbucks! There are many others, from Puma to Barclays to Booking.com to Pizza Hut to Burger King... None of these things are necessities and you can easily go without! Other options are probably cheaper and better quality too! It's a win-win!
Pro-tip 5; Go to protests if you can! Make your voice heard not only online but in person too! We have strength in numbers and we cannot lose the momentum we've barely started to build! Take direct action!
P.S. biggest fuck you to Noah Schnapp but also; Ross Duffer, Shawn Levy and Brett Gelman can suck the shit right out my ass <3
#stranger things#side not that I've lit never paid for netflix#unfortunately I've already paid for travel for that fucking stage show and I'm not willing to waste that money so :/#catch me taking photos of whatever merch I like and finding fan dupes though lmao#but again; fuck zionists. fuck them straight to the depths of whatever hell there is#and I'm going to sleep right after posting this so the potential fallout to this will be... uh... something#but I am kind of curious to see if anyone attacks me for continuing the way I am like I wasn't one of those who called noah out before this#but noah spreading isreali lies and zionist propaganda wasnt that big of deal until now I guess 👀#anyways free palestine and pirate stranger things 🏴☠️🖖 goodnight
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I think there's something to be said also about how so many Ganondorf redemption arcs in fanfics involve him being shipped with Link or Zelda. It's very ingrained in the fandom to connect Ganondorf as a good guy to Ganondorf as an object of desire, specifically paired sexually with a good, pale, white, heroic hylian who "tames" him out of his savagery.
Yeah, I think that's a really fair point.
Again, I'm always pretty uncomfortable with chiming in on people's desires, as it is complicated enough of a topic as is AND I know I have strange biases and/or know some subtleties may go over my head given I'm aroace. But yes, it is a continuation of that understanding of the character (not even returning on the fact that I don't think Ganondorf needs redemption as much as Hyrule needs accountability).
I think what bothers me, in both canon and fanon (and in spite of Wind Waker), is that there is a latent denial that he is a character that is capable of depth and vulnerability without tearing agency away from him, if that makes sense? And it often lives, at least in my opinion, in the negation of his relationship to his own people. That maybe he doesn't need the hylian heroes to come and "teach him" the meaning of love and forgiveness, and/or reveal he was always incapable of either; shouldn't he have gotten plenty of opportunities to explore that very topic among his own people, on his own terms?
#asks#ganondorf#zelda fandom critical#link#zelda#thanks for the ask!!#again not an attack on anyone etc everyone does whatever forever#and I am genuinely really interested in these three's relationship and how weird and special and convoluted it is#but Yea#again it's also a very Fandom thing to do#and it's not even particularly bad or anything#but it is interesting to notice
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you guys are so funnyyyyyy, i hope i never become "normal" and not "disgusting" so that i can keep upsetting people by shipping controversial ships, because really, what am i doing other than existing? worst case scenario youre right, and i do have personal issues and i am working through it/comforting myself through fiction, right? what is so wrong with that? I havent hurt and wont hurt a damn soul by shipping "weird" fictional couples.
#morality police#travis x laura#so many of my fav pairings are hated so yeah i am used to it but seeing ppl encourage censorship on AO3 of all places is just ironic af#critiques are: that they didnt interact that much. lmao where is your imagination then (i think they had the MOST interesting scenes)#the age gap is too big: irl yes there would be complications and questions of intention and morality. BUT THEY ARENT REAL GUYS#i find older men attractive so its part of why i like him. rather than an issue. im entitled to be attracted to anyone of a legal age.#he locked her up for months/power imbalance: yes tht is true but again thats why i like it. watching them overcome issues is thrilling#oh and that we are all teenagers (am not) that we are psychos (definitely not) tht we are sicko/fangirls (ok well tht ones true)#but i know there is no convincing anyone that is small minded and judgmental. u dont have to like it too but why are you casting aspersions#and yeah im late cuz i waited to buy the game. i wouldve been here in the trenches defending any of you guys tht was getting attacked
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my drowned rat son<3
am i the only one who imagines him with an undercut and sharp cheekbones? ok then
#people being surprised that he's 19 so he looks older than he is#scratches on his neck from panic attacks :((#renee's necklace#and sharp features that almost makes him look sick and weak but he's like packin#this is almost exactly what i imagined as i read the sunshine court#just a scrawny sopping wet cat of a european teenager being roped into american shenanigans against his will#anyway if anyone touches him ever again i am rioting#nora please be gentle with your characters now ToT#let them be happy#jean moreau#nora sakavic#the sunshine court#my art#all for the game#aftg
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experiencing any level of joint pain for longer than a day or two has only reinforced my belief that ppl with chronic pain are actually the strongest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet
#marzi speaks#hi. my knees r still kinda fucked up. at some point a few days ago i hyperextended my elbows#so now those have been hurting#my traps r fucked bc i’ve been stressed and those are prone to holding tension in me#my knee pain made me walk wrong for a little bit so now i’m trying to fix that to alleviate the foot and ankle pain#oh yeah. my thumb is still tender for some reason despite the tendonitis having been healed as well#the only part of my body that hasn’t betrayed me as of yet is my spine and pelvis#i am so sick of moving and having it hurt#and like i can go about my day n shit. and have a good time#but it is always there and it is fucking annoyingggg#and ppl with chronic pain just live their whole lives like this.#and they don’t blow up and attack anyone who treats them shitty about it#and i am amazed#bc i talked to my dad abt maybe going to the doctor abt my knees to see what’s going on#bc i don’t remember injuring them at all and i don’t really feel too much improvement on a day to day#and he just gave me a stretch to do about it#now the stretch helps. but my knees still hurt. so like. what do u want from me#if i were to bring it up again he’d probably say it wasn’t a big deal. he’s seen me hobble around the house n how slow i’m moving rn#i normally run around my house. i have been walking at a pace that pisses me off bc i’m impatient#even just having like. worries that are probably exagerrated get dismissed like that has kinda made me wanna kill him a little bit#and this is something that i know is gonna heal and get better#ppl with chronic pain don’t Get That. and they are still dismissed constantly#how do you not like. murder everyone around you. the infinite patience. genuinely the strongest among us#i didn’t mean to complain in these tags as much as i did (my knees r actually doing pretty ok rn and my ankles are getting better)#but i suppose i am bitter
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Okay quick and messy I Struggle With Left/Right Object Permanence When You Flip A Fucking Image Apparently Alfonse ref:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/283a08ad24e86ccda449ef918f2262a6/882f40c6c25e9ca9-17/s540x810/9e57c7b3f729dcb3fef79982a12b40ab284b7897.jpg)
"FUCK CANON" until I have the opportunity to clown on him for having a cutting board ass. Flat Ass Alfonse Truther, he's too powerful, he needs to be nerfed somehow
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6e1556efe483c67d23490f3045ed54e3/882f40c6c25e9ca9-fb/s540x810/caf5f328db56ef7d00069c7fbb62be57e7bff863.jpg)
It's him!!! The bane of my existence as an artist 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💘💖💝💗💕💓💕💗💞💖💕💝💗💖💝💕💝💞💗💖💖💞💝💗💖💖💞💝💗💘💗💖💞💓🥲💘💖💞💖
#feh#so what does this mean for what i was doing. well! do it over.#i am having SUCH a time though like i can't even lie. an excuse to draw him over and over and over again??? like i need one LMFAOO#BUT. I FEEL. VERY ENRICHED RN.#does anyone wanna play Look At Alfonse Fire Emblem With Me (FORCING YOU. AT GUNPOINT)#fe alfonse#my art#also! you can see it a bit (the way he wields his weapons/the scabbard placement) in his attack art!#but like. again. i am struggling so much w this. i always do LMFAOOOOO#I GET CONFUSED AND LOSE MY PLACE SO EASILY........ 🧍
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Dash simulator
Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread
Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges
Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall
Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard
Draft discarded
Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it
Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard
Draft discarded
Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?
Blog 6: woo cherry pie!
#trying so hard to be a blog 6 rn#im discarding those drafts#but clearly it has been too much for me as this one is getting posted#like i really am sorry if any. strawberry antis are directly being rude to anyone#that isnt ok#but i have seen zero of that on my dash or in the tag#i saw a few blogs saying lol they don't like strawberries#and then i saw a ton of blogs saying how dare there be any negativity at all#and seeming to act as if those blog posts were specifically about disliked fic authors i mean recipe makers#which... if any of them were... i didn't see it because of how i blocked large swaths of the fandom like three years ago#when i realized that it was determined to blow up a discourse topic every single month#and if there are people doing that. please. do what i did. block en mass#if you open a recipe that turns out to have strawberries in it and you cant hit the back button but instead leave a nasty comment that is a#you problem#but also if you see a random blog post about someone saying they dislike strawberries- hate strawberries even- and you feel personally#attacked and start crying about how now you never want to bake a strawberry shortcake again and they're so mean#that is also. a you problem.#'what fandom is this pocket' dont worry about it#not one i have any mutuals in#which. considering the mass blocking and the annoying chronic discourse explosions. perhaps is not surprising
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I truly hate "Why aren't you posting about THIS" posts, because the majority of the time I think people genuinely just aren't aware of the issue, and in any case it's impossible to post about every single Bad Thing happening in the world, and we would make ourselves crazy trying. I truly don't think anyone is obligated to post about any particular thing, ever.
With that said, I'm not naive enough to think people are somehow unaware of what's currently a major national news story. And I'm also very, very aware that if nearly 1,000 Jews had been murdered in any other circumstances, I would be seeing posts expressing heartbreak and solidarity and support for the Jewish people. Hell, I'd probably be seeing it if a tenth of that number had been killed.
Provided, of course, the culprit was politically convenient.
But these Jews, you've been told, were ~evil colonialist oppressors~. The murder of these Jews isn't a tragedy, it's a form of progressive activism. It doesn't matter that they were unarmed civilians. It doesn't matter if they were children or the elderly. Their deaths are justified, and to even express any sympathy or condolence is to have your leftist credentials questioned.
I understand. Truly, I do. It's hard to speak up when you might get painted as the villain for doing so. I blame no one, and like I said, no particular person is obligated to say anything. But the collective silence is very, very noticeable, where I know that silence wouldn't be there under different circumstances.
This is why I don’t trust the community on tumblr when they claim to care about Jewish people. They'll happily join in to fight right-wing antisemitism, and I'll happily take that allyship. They'll even call out leftist antisemitism, to a point. But when it's just too controversial, they won't speak up for the mass murder of Jews on a scale that surpasseses literally any other event in recent history.
As Jews we notice that, and it does not make us feel safe. And we'll remember it next time there's a convenient talking point and you tell us all you've got our backs. Forgive me if it will ring a bit hollow.
#again to my lovely followers and mutuals this is NOT an attack against any of you#I am not angry at anyone personally I'm just sad#also needless to say the deaths of the innocent Palestinian civilians are ALSO a tragedy#but I don't think the tumblr crowd needs to be convinced of that#whereas when it's Israeli Jews being murdered apparently you do#antisemitism#real life#important#politics#jews and judaism#israel#palestine
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Okay but fr I hope Dan and Phil don’t feel pressured to actually do a 25-day gamingmas bc that’s like. SO much work for them. They don’t need to upload every day leading up to Christmas. They can just do like 5 days or a week, but even then they don’t need to do that, that’s just if they wanna do some sort of gamingmas-type thing
I just want them to take care of themselves and not burn themselves out 😭
#dan and phil#dan and phil games#dapg#idk feel free to reblog this I guess??#I mean I know I’ve seen some people excited for gamingmas and all that and I can’t tell if they actually mean like#they want daily uploads until Christmas or what?#or if they just want something like gamingmas but not necessarily every goddamn day#I just remember them mentioning that like gamingmas could be a LOT on them#and I don’t want them to feel like they gotta do that again 😭#I’m just happy the channel’s back tbh I have no expectations#I just feel like I haven’t seen this sentiment?#but then again I’m not like super active in the community/fanbase so idk if that’s why I haven’t seen other people expressing this#and I’m not attacking anyone btw!!!! you’re all totally valid to be excited ;v;#I just am Concerned about the boys eosnridbiwjd
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Jazzy VS Colored Text
Hello! I am making this post just as a update for me/my blogs.
Later today I’ll be adding these banners to all my blogs pinned posts:
If you are interacting with ME or MY blogs in specific, please refrain from using large amounts of colored text.
I have a reading disorder as it is and colored text on white backgrounds just makes it worse for me to read. It strains my eyes and it’s just difficult all together for me.
This is a example of colored text for reference. I’m being nice and not using yellow
This is not a attack on anyone or anything. I am not telling you how to run your blogs. All I ask that is if you are interacting with ME or MY blogs in specific, that you refrain from using large amounts of colored text.
I don’t mind one or two words here and there. But prolonged sentences or paragraphs are just.. difficult for me to read!
So please if you are interacting with ME in specific, please refrain!
I want to be able to read what is being said and not have to copy/paste it into another program just to be able to read it. Or not have to stare at it and strain my eyes just to comprehend it.
Thank you for your time! Have a lovely day otherwise!
#I CAN read colored text if I strain and stare hard enough.. but I’m not gonna do that OTL sorry#again this ISNT A ATTACK ON ANYONE this is SO ENTIRELY PERSONAL TO ME IN SPECIFIC!!!#ooc#mod jazzy#important#update#I didn’t wanna have to make it a thing but it’s becoming!! popular in the community#and my poor eyes. please#this is very personal and I’m not telling anyone how to run a blog or do anything#just like. please if ur gonna talk to me or do long interactions I am beggin#colored text on pure white backgrounds will be the death of me in specific I stg
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Having a different opinion on a fictional character is fine. Expressing distaste is fine. What isn’t, is expressing that distaste in a way were your opinions are the default best ones to have and that others who don’t think so, have their own opinions also, are wrong and inferior, clearly not enjoying it with the level of taste you say you have.
And then to try and claim it as a joke and try to still befriend people with those opinions, to say ‘oh, but it wasn’t directed at you specifically’, that still targets a demographic of people? A joke becomes not a joke when the people involved are unaware and the target, it’s not a playful jab but just. An insult, not even disguised. No matter how vague you think you put it it still targets people who have done nothing, who haven't forced their ideas on others. And if you can’t take that people will disagree with your own opinions and point out this flaw in thinking then why should you criticise others. Why should you use your status as someone who draws fictional characters as a way to gratify your need to always feel justified in a place where people can take as much free reign as they'd like because everything is so. Vague.
#claiming it was all in my head is such a horrible thing to say#lying that you were sorry for vagueposting. doing the same thing again#you claim 'well it's only puppets' then why do you care so much to critique so harshly-#why do your friends do such backhanded things with no consequence#i want to rip myself apart because i feel insane#i swear this is wrong. i swear you are lying. you can't trick me into thinkig i wasn't#the way i spoke was wrong but everything i say i mean.#it's unfair. it's so unfair. the way you can get away with being like this#yet i can't express my love for one of the only things that cares for me without getting hurt by a random#who thinks fanon = fact and that it's okay to impose your own headcanons on someone else. that loving them any other way is wrong#and it makes you uncomfortable. why didn't YOU just block and not say anything? why are you allowed.#why did YOU leave a 'big ass paragraph' apologising self-deprecatingly#before doing the same thing again because i am powerless to stop you. it's just puppets and it's all in my head.#my mind is melting i am unmedicated and scared#i keep replaying those words in my head and although i'm getting over it. i've done well for myself#i can't believe a fandom made for creativity is so unkind to anyone outside their circle of what they've decided is right and wrong#i'm so sorry that i talk about this so often. i just want my words to stick in any way#and if i don't get them out they stay in my head and i believe i really am just making it all up. i need to be believed and not waved away#i might delete this later. i wrote this when i was having a manic attack [manic panic episode??]
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