#and after my top artist was mozart … this is who i am i fear

[milkwands]

saw him earlier for probably the last time til spring semester

[cat-in-da-wall]

roisa tgp au

ft. rose as eleanor & luisa as chidi

below the cut is a little rose solano/luisa alver in a the good place au!

As Rose’s eyes opened, she took a look around, the strange room earning a sense of unease. A strange man stood by the opened doorway, with a smile.

“Clara Ruvelle?” He asked, voice soft, and yet firm. “Come on in.” Her sense of security heightened, but years of practice ensured it wouldn’t show. However this man knew her name, she was going to find out why, and whether or not she did it the nice way, well, that depended wholly on him.

She stood up anyways, plastering on her signature soft smile, one which had charmed one too many men she had no interest in— but it worked, and that was all that mattered, for he flashed a smile back.

Following him into the room, her eyes flickered from corner to corner, trying to make sense of all of this. Had she been kidnapped? She knew it hadn’t been a good idea to visit a bar at her lowest, nothing good would come of it. She chided herself for once again being an idiot when she had everything at stake. She carefully sat down on the grey-ish chair, carefully watching the man sit down under the false pretense of staring at the plant.

The plant was, however, not interested. But it was all she could focus on, in this boring office room, where everything was yellow, grey or somewhere in between. Not that he was judging his choices, just that, well, the office was bland.

“You, Clara Ruvelle, are dead.” He said, his eyes displaying a sliver of sympathy and perhaps feeling sorry, but she shoved those thoughts aside, as she attempted to process this.

At first, many waves of snickers and scoffs echoed within her mind, believing the man was lying and she had just been kidnapped. It was probably all a mind game, right? She had so much more to do, she couldn’t have just died, could she? But then, the scoffs quieted down, and she realized that, well, it could be very possible she had died.

A hint of panic, just the slightest, passed through her, and her heartbeat got louder, was she really dead? How could she be? What happened? How could she have let herself be so careless? How was she going to run her empire now? She had so much more she wanted to do, so many more empires to corrupt and take over, many more idiots to seduce— but there was nothing she could really do now, except to make the best of the world she was in. Could you run a crime business in the afterlife?

“Cool.” Her voice, cool and calm, echoed, followed by a nod, maybe a small smile, as she fixated on the man in front of her.

A pause, an awkward one, as she took a second of hesitation to think, maybe rid the awkward air between them.

“How did I die?” She asked, her voice a little bit louder than she’d hoped.

“Are you sure you want to know?” He asked, resting his hands on the table between them.

“I’m sure.” 

“Well, you were sleeping in the basement bedroom of one Lily Keller when her mother left the stove on by accident, and the whole house burned down.” A brief moment of silence, again— but this time it wasn’t just her, the man seemed to be thinking as well, or perhaps he was just judging her. Either way, she took the silence as a gift.

“Well.” She probably should’ve asked about the mom, whether or not Mrs. Keller made it out in time, but to be frank, she didn’t quite care, and there was no use pretending to care— she was dead after all.

“We erase traumatic memories of the death for an easy transition into the afterlife.” He explained, sitting back a little as an easy smile surfaced, as if attempting to calm her.

“So, where exactly am I?” She asked, her finger pointing up for a second, then down. She assumed the latter, obviously, I mean, she had killed one too many people by accident, and her business wasn’t exactly cruelty-free in her ways of gaining. 

“Not many people get in, but you, Clara Ruvelle, are in the Good Place.” He said, leaning back in a little, his hands resting on the table, fingers intertwined with one another.

“Wow.” Was all she could manage to say at the moment, a smirk right below the surface. And perhaps following it, panic? Was she supposed to be here? Had somebody made a mistake? After all, textbook sociopath or not, she had done some pretty bad things, put as the man across from her rose, she stood up to her own two feet, flattening out her red dress.

“Come on, Clara, let me show you around.”

The tour around had been pretty boring, if you asked her. She’d probably learned more about the mechanics of the place than where she could go to get food, meet people, or purchase a sweet snack. Nonetheless, it was a nice way to pass the endless time that she’d have to spend in this small town variation of heaven.

They’d been walking for what seemed like a century already, around the town where everybody was arm in arm with someone else, and offering her a friendly smile. To be frank, her facial muscles had never been more tired, even when she had to speak for hours and hours. It was all just so overwhelmingly sunshine-y.

“So, who’s in the Bad Place, that would shock me?” She asked, trying to bring up conversation as her heels clicked against the little paved road in the middle of nowhere.

“Uh, well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis, basically every artist ever, uh, ever U.S. president except Lincoln.” He replied, hands in his pockets.

“That sounds about right.” She responded. “What about Florence Nightingale?”

“That was close, but, no, she didn’t make it.” He spoke. Her heartbeat started to speed up as he spoke, and she panicked. If even such a woman like that wasn’t here, why on earth was she here? Well, obviously her terrible actions must’ve brought good impacts onto the lives of others, and from her countless terrible actions, she swayed herself into believing so.

A moment of silence hung between them as she searched for the right words that wouldn’t completely destroy her image.

“Wow, all those amazing people, down there, it just seems hard to believe.”

“Again, it’s an incredibly selective system. Most people don’t make it here. But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row, you’re special, Clara.”

What? She prayed she’d heard wrong, but there was no doubt what she was hearing. His hands were on her shoulders now, and if she was anybody else, she would’ve crumbled apart under the guise of the lies. But she didn’t.

Instead, she continued to smile, and despite the momentary falter, he bought it.

“And by the way,” He continued, removing his hands from her shoulder. “Welcome to your new home!” The man said, as they approached two houses near the edge of town. Her eyes flickered from the larger house to the tiny house beside it, trying to figure out which one would be more convenient for her to live in, maybe get to know in the span of the endless years she’d have to spend here with whoever this soulmate was.

It was eerily quiet, she was used to the bustling, busy cities and the busier underground networks which she frequented. The houses stood on a grass field, almost what she would’ve called in the middle of nowhere, if they hadn’t just come from the small town right beside it.

The small house was multicoloured, a sort of primary colour scheme, with the exception of the porcelain white that glazed the rooftop, a nice change that made the house look less… kid’s classroom -esque, more actual house.

You see, in the Good Place, every person gets to live in a home that perfectly matches his or her true essence.” He said, gesturing towards the house that was becoming more and more horrific to look at by the moment.

“Cool.” She replied. “So, I guess that’s why my house, for example, is this adorable little cottage, whereas other people have homes that are bigger, like that one.”

And she was referring to the house beside hers, a large house, which looked as if it could fit the smaller house inside at least seventeen times. Pearly silver swirls surrounded the rice coloured marble walls, the translucent glass panes showing but the tiniest corners of the house, alluring but not exposing— a large fountain in the front to top it off, as if being the fanciest house in the area wasn’t enough.

“Exactly. Oh, I’m so happy you get it.” He replied, grinning.

As she entered, she prayed that the inside was nothing like its horrendous outside. She almost jumped, hands balling into fists as she struggled to understand why anybody on earth would live in such a house.

The walls were decorated in clown paintings, and there was an obvious lack of stairs. But, though it was small, the little sections inside it acted like there was more to explore, and for her, it was enough. It wasn’t like she’d ever want to live in a mansion, especially not the huge one next door where, if she lived it in, she feared the skeletons in her closet would lay behind every door.

“As you can see,” He continued, leading her inside. “The interior has been decorated just as you like it, in the Icelandic primitive style.” A second of silence, before he continued to speak, yet again. “Oh, oh, and uh, of course, you love clowns, so…”

Well, at least that explained the odd, horrible, paintings, she thought.

“I do love clowns.” She replied, a light chuckle following.

“Now,” He said, turning her attention towards the opposite area of the house. “Let me show you the video system here.”

She looked at the giant board in front of her, with her name in the centre and branches with countless green words on the end of them, signifying good deeds.

“You can review everything that happened in your life from your point of view.”

He tapped on one of the green words, and a video-style footage popped up, as she watched, curious.

“This is your Human Rights mission to the Ukraine.” He said, gesturing at the shaky footage. “I mean, you got a ton of points for that one. It really put you over the top.”

She didn’t sweat, ever, except during sex. But, if she could, she would’ve been. This was not what she predicted the afterlife would be like, at all. She continued to watch the footage, with a smile, as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Luisa, come on in.” He said, as a stranger with the most gorgeous chocolate brown locks and the sweetest hazelnut honey eyes, with storms behind them, entered, dressed in a flannel blouse and trousers.

“Clara?” The girl who she presumed was Luisa, spoke. “I’m Luisa Alver, and you are my soulmate.”

The man in the suit clapped, with a grin. As if he was the one that set up a tinder match that just succeeded, or got his end of the pay on a drug deal.

“Cool!” She said, not sure how to address the gorgeous woman she’d just met— especially as the sparks flew between them and she struggled to keep her cool.

Alas, she went in for a hug, as the stranger’s arms around hers felt like home, the honey almond shampoo scent rich in her hair as it lapped around the nook of her neck, and they hugged like they were making up for all the lost time that could’ve been theirs.

“Now, excuse me, I have other people to attend to.” The man in the suit exited the house quietly, as they continued to embrace.

He left, shutting the door behind him, as the two sat down on the little beige couch-bench seating.

“So, Luisa, where are you from?” She asked, looking into her soulmate’s eyes with the mask of excitedness.

“I was born in a nice hospital, one my father probably paid for, but we moved many times, but eventually settled down in Miami as a doctor.” She grinned, as if excited she finally had someone to talk to. “What about you?”

Quick, she panicked, as she knew she couldn’t tell this lovely stranger about the whole crime lord in the making thing.

“Uh, well, I was born in Stowe, Vermont. And then I lived there for as long as I can remember.” She said, nervously watching her soulmate. Had she messed up already? She started to panic, feeling nervous in a way she hadn’t been for a long, long time, until those brown eyes smiled back at her, the only response she needed.

Her cold hands were taken into the warm ones of the woman across her, as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Clara, I’ve spent so much of my life alone, hoping to share moments with someone. And now, I finally have someone to share them with, as soul mates. It’s overwhelming.” Luisa beamed, the puppy dog smile making her swallow, as she realized she couldn’t lie any longer.

“Luisa. You’ll stand by my side no matter what, right?” She asked, keeping her hands firmly in her soul mate’s.

“Of course.” Her soul mate responded, looking a little confused.

“Promise me.” She said. Luisa looked like the type that would keep spoken promises, no matter what, right? “Say, ‘I promise I will never betray you for any reason.’”

Luisa put her hand on her chest, as if making a genuine and solemn swear, as if they were nine again. “Clara, I swear, that I will never say or do anything to cause you any harm.”

“Good.” Clara responded, a smile emerging on her face. Partly because she finally had someone she didn’t have to lie to, but also someone who already swore they’d never hurt her “Because those aren’t my memories. I wasn’t a lawyer,” She continued, shaking her head. “I never went to the Ukraine. I hate clowns.”

She took a moment of silence, or perhaps it was hesitation. “There’s been a big mistake. I’m not supposed to be here.” She puts her best ‘surprise!’ face, jazz hands and all.

The silence hung between them as Luisa’s face went through a bajillion different expressions, from gaping mouth to perpetually confused eyebrows.

Then she spoke with that soft, sweet, voice of hers. “Wait, what?”

[theseadagiodays]

June 8, 2020

Art in Isolation

Artists listed clockwise from top right: Miriam Tingle, Shaheer Zazai, Ariel Shea, Veronica Pausova

I think, for me, there has been no group of people for whom I’ve had more empathy during this pandemic than those inside care homes.    I recognize that many of these facilities provide stellar support for their residents, as they struggle with ill health.  And I can think of nothing more honorable than a profession that allows people to face end of life as gracefully as possible.  However, I still think that there is a good reason why so many of us carry fear about such places.  Particularly given the restrictions imposed on these facilities during Covid, residents are now faced with what, perhaps, most chronically terrifies humans: the possibility of dying alone.  The Japanese even have a word for this - kodokushi or lonely death.

Thankfully, nursing homes and hospices have made extensive efforts to ameliorate these fears.  They are arranging regular digital communication for patients, with their loved ones.   And artists are also addressing this problem in very meaningful ways.  

Vancouver pianist, Matthew Li has been playing virtual performances for isolated patients all over Canada. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-may-4-2020-1.5554395/this-classical-pianist-is-offering-hospital-patients-virtual-private-music-recitals-1.5554784   And there are many other performers doing the same.

Also, this Toronto artist/curator team has organized an art donation program that has succeed in collecting over 200 original works, from the artists themselves (see photo above), to deliver (with fully compliant sanitary measures) to nursing homes in their area. https://cdnartinisolation.format.com/works-test

What’s important to acknowledge is the fact that end-of-life caregiving is a two-way street.  Sometimes, those in palliative care are less afraid to die alone than their loved ones are to be denied the opportunity to serve, comfort and seek closure.  So, it is beautiful that these gestures of music, and art, and video calls can soothe the souls of everyone involved.  

June 9, 2020

Making Lemonade

I don’t know about you, but lately, I feel like I’m drinking an awful lot of lemonade (and yes, sometimes spiked!).   Don’t get me wrong.  I usually love lemonade.  In fact, there are summer days when the craving hits me so hard, I can focus on nothing until it’s quenched.  I guess there’s something about the bittersweetness and resiliency of a drink that turns lemons into lemonade which usually attracts a “path-of-most-resistence” girl like me.  However, if I’m to be completely honest, I’m beginning to run out of Plan B’s.  Sure, there have been plenty of really tasty ones so far.  Like the socially distant private cocktail class for 6 that we gifted two of our friends (with us & their partners), when their big 40th & 50th birthday plans went caput with Covid.  One had hoped for a trip abroad with his family.  The other had booked a large venue and invited 100 friends and family for his now cancelled-‘til-‘21 bash.  So, mixing maitais and shaking whiskey sours as a back-up plan certainly wasn’t half-bad.  Then, there is the fact that my treasured local pool (a rare ,137-meter swimming facilty right on the ocean, available to the public for only $4 per visit) hasn’t opened this season, and probably won’t all year.  So, what did I do?  I rushed out to buy a 1 mm spring wetsuit, intent on “ocean hiking’ instead.  My inaugural swim, last Sunday night, down wind and down current, surrounded by mountains and the cityscape, which ended just below an eagle perched only 20-feet overhead, was an admittedly euphoric moment.  

So, believe me, I know I have no right to complain.  I’m just recognizing that, currently, I feel like I’ve pretty much tapped my creative juices to the max, which means that I’m looking for things to fuel my imagination for the months to come.  In my quest, I stumbled upon this particularly sophisticated back-up plan, which I imagine will be inspiration for many.

The Kanneh-Mason family is likely the most famous musical family you’ve never heard of.  All seven, that’s right, seven of these siblings are top-shelf classical musicians, conveniently covering nearly the full string family with 2 violinists, 3 pianists, and 2 cellists.  And, remarkably, their parents, who moved from Sierra Leone to England, where the children were raised, had only minimal exposure to musical instruments as kids.  Sheku, the third eldest, may be the most reknowned, having had his debut Carnegie Hall cello recital at just 20.  However, right by his side was his older sister Isata (23) on piano.  And it’s the lemonade that she recently squeezed out of a bum lemon which inspires me right now.  She’d been excitedly waiting for her upcoming Royal Albert Hall debut, a performance of Beethoven’s Third Piano Concerto with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, originally scheduled for April 18th.  So, once it was cancelled, as all family phenoms do, the five oldest kids, shoeless and in sweats, performed a string trio and double piano arrangement of the piece from their living room, in a livestream performance on the exact concert date.  Even more notable than the oodles of talent and sensitivity that pour out of this one family, is what seems to be their genuine humility and gratitude, amidst the disappointment of a postponed dream, just for the opportunity to share their passion, even in far from hoped-for circumstances. #glasshalffull

https://www.classicfm.com/artists/sheku-kanneh-mason/family-isata-beethoven-live-stream/

June 10, 2020

Poet as Witness

Interestingly, this has become a very poetic moment in our lives.  This time, rife with fear and heightened emotions, has been witnessed, as poets do so well, with acuity and depth of vision.  Somehow, the poet as witness is able to observe something too large for most of us to contain, and then distill it for us into digestable doses that cut right to the bone.   I’ve heard many people speak of inboxes replete with verses sent from friends meant to comfort or console.  And it has felt appropriate and almost necessary for me to leave people at the end of each of my weekly guided meditations with a relevant poem that they can sit with.  The publishing world has recognized this need for poetry, too.  Consequently, Random House has, with lightning speed, put out a compilation of poetic work created during this period.  Together in a Sudden Strangeness was released today.  And in one entry from this stunning collection, Joshua Bennett’s raw words speak to the helplessness that he felt when he was not allowed to accompany his pregnant wife to her ultrasound during Covid.

Dad Poem by Joshua Bennett

No visitors allowed is what the masked woman behind the desk says only seconds after me and your mother arrive for the ultrasound. But I’m the father, I explain, like it means something defensible. She looks at me as if I’ve just confessed to being a minotaur in human disguise. Repeats the line. Caught in the space between astonishment & rage, we hold hands a minute or so more, imagining you a final time before our rushed goodbye, your mother vanishing down the corridor to call forth a veiled vision of you through glowing white machines. One she will bring to me later on, printed and slightly wrinkled at its edges, this secondhand sight of you almost unbearable both for its beauty and necessary deferral. What can I be to you now, smallest one, across the expanse of category & world catastrophe, what love persists in a time without touch.

Other poets have found a more literal way to turn some of this current hopelessness on its head.  And their reflexive approach is not new.  The violin duet, Der Spiegel (score above), often wrongly attributed to Mozart but written by another 18th century unnamed composer, is meant to be performed with Player One reading from top to bottom, and Player Two from bottom to top.  Cleverly, the two parts have unique yet complementary melodies that make a cohesive whole when performed together.   Similarly, Britt MacKinnon’s poem, Covid 19 Outlooks manages to paint a realistic picture of the simultaneously bleak and hopeful perspectives that many of us vascilate between, right now.  You just have to make sure to read it in reverse after you’ve read it from top to bottom.

I have no hope or control. Nobody can convince me that I still have a future. I recognize that I am safe and loved But I am overwhelmed by fear This situation dictates my daily well-being. I refuse to believe that There is a bright future ahead. Our world is disrupted. No longer do I feel that We have support and help from our leaders. During self-isolation. I am reminiscing and dreaming. Now I cherish the good old days. My way of life Changing Because of COVID-19

June 11, 2020

Dance On!

The fluctuating moods expressed in MacKinnon’s poem can be found in an abundance of art created during this time.  Mark Morris is known for his music-driven choreography and unorthodox elegance.  One of my former in-laws, Rita Donahue also danced with his company for many years, which adds an even more personal interest to my fandom.    His wide range of styles and moods is well-illustrated in the three pieces that comprise his latest virtual offering, Dance On!  From the uncomfortability of his discordant Lonely Waltz (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hfkn4FI2CI) to the raw, visceral desperation of Anger Dance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mdAmS81E0Q) to the comic simplicity and object puppetry used in Sunshine (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKAt2vBlMRw), the emotional evolution that I had as an audience member was much like the shift I experienced reading the poem above, upside down.   Geoff and I have always loved handstand therapy as an effective mood booster.  So, I’m taking this as a reminder to bring more inverted poses into my life.

June 12, 2020 

Rap & Gown

I have a confession.  As a rapper-wanna-be, flutist, with long curly hair and a name that begins with L, I secretly believe that Lizzo is my alter ego.     With her chutzpah, self-love and straight-talk, I think she is a prime role model for people of all ages and races.  And strong voices like hers are exactly what we need at this time.  Obviously, others agree, because she was invited to inspire stay-at-home graduates with her silver sounds on this collaborative performance of Elgar’s Pomp & Circumstance with the New York Philharmonic.  Now, that’s a grad ceremony that should have been worth coming out of quarantine for!

https://www.classicfm.com/artists/new-york-philharmonic/lizzo-plays-flute-class-of-2020-youtube-ceremony/

[manabingu]

MANATAGGED! by Cozymochi

Tagged by the amazing @cozymochi

1) Name/nickname: Mana or Ginga if you found me via YouTube Idol

2) Gender: Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl (but I consider myself fluid)

3) Star sign: Sagittarius  ♐ ♥♥♥( proud of it)

4) Height: 5��1  (I am fun sized ok? o-o)

5) Hogwarts House: Gryffindor ~*~*~*~*

6) Favourite animal: Manta Rays (or as I call em MAJESTICAL FLAPFLAPS)

7) Hours of sleep: Ranges from 6-10 if Im lucky (because I’ve gotten sick lately I try to have as much sleep as humanly possible cuz I wanna strengthen my already weak immune system.Getting sick forces me to sleep longer.BUT it takes me EONS just to get to sleep cuz my mind is racing 24/7))

8) Dogs or cats: KITTIES =^w^=! But huskies are cool

9) Number of blankets: 3 ...I get cold easily hush

10) Dream trip: Definitely Japan, I just wanna go to the anime cafes & Nakano Broadway & Akihabara like the weeb trash that I am. But I wouldn’t mind seeing England, Egypt, Hawaii or Bolivia (again) in this lifetime.

11) Dream Job: Has changed over the years but I feel in my heart I was born to perform & entertain. I want to keep pursuing singing/acting/voice acting as my top priority, music, theatre, & VA is such a big part of my life, I would love to do it as a career. Even if I do it as a youtuber or something at first. But If drawing is an option I wouldn’t mind storyboard artist.

12) Time: 2am...woops

13) Birthday: December 20th

14) Favourite Bands: Abingdon Boys School, JAM Project, Daizystripper, STARISH/Quartet Night/HEAVENS, DOLL$BOXX, One Ok Rock, OldCodex, Choutokkyuu, FoZZtone, SHINee, Got7,U-KISS,BACK-ON,Psychic Lover, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas,Rookiez is Punk’d, Man With A Mission, Asian Kung Fu Generation,Scandal, Linkin Park, Big Time Rush, The Beatles I know I have more but this is what I could muster from memory

15) Favourite Solo Artists: T.M. Revolution, Aoi Shouta, Miyano Mamoru, Maaya Sakamoto, Kana Hanazawa, Amber from f(x), VALSHE, LiSA, Celia Cruz, Shakira, May’n, Nano, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, PSY (do my friends count? if so Ceonn, Phoebe & Kiba Walker)

16) Song Stuck In My Head: “CHANGIN’” by Nona Reeves FT. You The Rock

Its the 4th ED Theme from Getbackers & by far its the greatest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just a PERFECT song. I can play on repeat forever.

17) Last Movie I Watched: The Mummy (2017) 

18) Last Show I Watched: I just watched Kevin Probably Saves the World. It has slowly become one of my new fave shows of all time. It’s such an original & brilliant story, the acting is superb & heartfelt. Such a good comedy. I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s a good thing I watch The Voice cuz it came on after it & that made me wanna check it out XD!

19) When Did I Create My Blog: My first blog @manadarkmagiciangirl has been here since May 2012. But this one has been up since February 2015

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: Well this is supposed to be my art/singing/hobby blg where I share all my projects & life. But I also tend to trickle some fandom posts. Usually memes,abridged projects, ZEXAL, Darker Than Black, Utapri, Takanori Nishikawa (and other artists I like), & tokusatsu or whatever else I am in the mood for that day

21) Last Thing I Googled: Brown & Auburn wigs for me &  sis cuz for Holiday Matsuri we wanna go as CardCaptor Sakura & Syaoran from Tsubasa 

22) Other Blogs: @manadarkmagiciangirl (Fandom Blog), @okudairagalaxypalace  ( ESPer Robin fan blog)  @pendantposse (abridged)

23) Do I Get Asks: It’s a rarity even though I do wish to talk with you guys. But usually if i reblog some kinda interactive meme it happens. Or if I give any big announcements

24) Why I Choose My URL: It’s a combo of Mana (my fave YGO character) & Yuma Tsukumo’s catchphrase from ZEXAL - “Kattobingu”. Kattobingu means “to do your best & challenge yourself”. So I am Mana & I’m doing my best ^_^b

25) Following: 45 but I should check who is active or nah XD

26) Followers: 418 but on my other one I’m at 1,368

27) Lucky Number: 83,39,20 I think XD?

28) Favourite Instrument: Electric guitar but have yall heard electric CELLO? That shiz is BADASS! But my fave instrument to use is my voice ^^♥ I luv to sing!

29) What Am I Wearing: Long Gundam Wing tshirt, pj bottoms & socks XD?

30) Favorite Food: GREEN TEA. Give me matcha flavored ANYTHING & I will be groveling at your feet. Especially matcha ice cream ;W;o

31) Nationality: Bolivian

32) Favorite Song: BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I may be a jrocker....BUT My favorite song of all time is “The Blue Danube  Waltz” by Johann Strauss II. I grew up listening to a lot of classical music & BESIDES recently Yuri On Ice (the song). No piece of classical music has come to being as perfect as that song in terms of taking me on an emotional rollercoaster. I love songs that can take me on a journey. But if I had to pick a MODERN song, I would say it’s a 3 way tie (all sung by Takanori Nishikawa) “Vestige” by T.M. Revolution, & “WE aRE” + “Howling” by Abingdon Boys School. Those songs always resonate with me.

33) Last Book Read: Tsubasa World Chronicle

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: I wish Heartland from ZEXAL was real cuz honestly I would LOVE to live there. Tokyo Mew Mew because I wanna be a magical girl that protects endangered species, Pokemon FOR SURE cuz who WOULDNT want that? A fourth choice would be Saint Seiya because I want that cool armor tbh.

I’m tagging: @crystalwoodsart @marcosatsu @magishine-dance @masked-paradox @rosey-ballerina @pandaloverwwf @tyrestgwa @ahsimwithsake @laurathia @t-chan @rainbow-galaxy-supernova

[for-the-love-of-the-music-blog]

Exploitation of Musicians

I am hoping that after reading this, everyone has more respect, a deeper understanding and a more mindful approach towards musicians.

There is an ever-growing unhappiness I see in the musicians' eyes, and just the heartbreak you hear in their voices, despite the lyrics or songs.

I feel a need to make a change in their lives as much as they bring about a difference in mine. I feel that everyone who listens to music should read and share this article. Even if it only reaches a few people this may help to change the view and actions people have toward musicians in a positive and more insightful way.

Musicians are not just entertainers. They too have to deal with life, but we (fans, industry) don't allow them to do anything peacefully and with clear thoughts, I know that I've also been guilty of this. We have put so much pressure on these people. Their lives are always under a microscope. It is not always possible for musicians to stay sane when they are continually pushed and placed under stress and scrutiny, I will elaborate on this later.

Looking at it deeper as discussed, we place a lot of pressure on these musicians. Pressures to be on tour, pump out new music, promote their music through interviews and social media with the expectation set of each album being better and crisper than the previous. This can cause anxiety, high-stress levels, and depression. They then turn to Substance abuse to cope and keep them going, etc. Talented people are left in this cycle running down a rabbit hole leading them deeper and deeper into self-destructive patterns/behaviour.

For a better understanding of the point I'm trying to make, below I’ve summarized facts that I found during my research for this article.

The truth is that not everyone can be a musician: dedication, hard work, talent, persistence, and perseverance set them apart from everyone else, as with any career where people are good at what they do. There is a deep understanding and passions, but apart from that, I’d like to share some studies done on the differences between a musician and a non-musicians mind so everyone can understand how special they truly are.

Differences between a Musician & Non-musicians Brain:

Using Frequency Following response (FFR) experiments, scientists found that musicians may have a better musical memory as well as enhanced verbal memory compared to non-musicians.

 Areas within the brain responsible for motor control auditory processing & spatial coordination is larger in musicians’ brains.

The Corpus Callosum of musicians is larger. These nerves make it possible for both hemispheres of the brain to communicate with each other.

In the book Musicophillia, that Dr Oliver Sack wrote he said, "Anatomists would be hard put to identify the brain of a visual artist, a writer, or even a mathematician – but they could recognize the brain of a professional musician without a moment's hesitation."

Everyone has read or heard that music is good for your soul and so on, but below, I have listed how important and good it truly is.

Effects music has on us:

Chemistry - When you listen to 'pleasant' music, for instance, this can lead to the production of serotonin and dopamine, which are the happiness hormones.

Chronic headaches & migraine remedy

It improves sleep.

In Sync - One thing that research tells us about music is that it can 'entrain' our brainwaves.

Increases verbal Intelligence

Listening to certain music can actually alter the way you perceive (see) another persons face.

Mozart's anti-seizure effect- The latest 2014 study revealed that listening to Mozart K 448 (Sonata for Two Pianos in D major) reduced the seizure recurrence and epileptic form discharges in children epilepsy.

Music greatly affects and alters our moods.

Music has the power to enhance some kinds of higher brain function: Reading and literacy skills, Spatial-temporal reasoning, Mathematical abilities, and Emotional intelligence, Recall of autobiographical and episodic information

Music improves concentration and attention.

Music improves mood and decreases depression.

Music improves neuroplasticity – this is the brain's ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience or following injury.

Music improves overall health.

Music improves physical activity and motivation.

Music reduces pain & helps the healing process.

Music reduces stress, aids relaxation & lessens anxiety.

It promotes Post-Stroke Recovery.

It raises IQ, academic performance, memory & learning ability.

Reducing blood pressure

The four central hypotheses explaining music's facilitation of exercise performance include - Reduction in the feeling of fatigue, Increase in levels of psychological arousal,  Physiological relaxation response, Improvement in motor coordination,  Body movement and coordination, Music helps to work more productively.

Tinnitus -Music therapy in the early stage of tinnitus can prevent tinnitus from becoming a chronic condition.

***Interesting Fact - Specific frequencies induce different states in our brain:

Beta Waves

Hertz Level: 14–40 Hz

Effect:  Awake, normal alert consciousness

Example: Actively conversing or engaging in work

Alpha Waves

Hertz Level:  8–14 Hz

Effect: Calm, relaxed.

Example:  Meditating, reflecting, taking a break from work

Theta Waves

Hertz Level: 4–8 Hz

Effect: Deep relaxation and meditation, mental imagery

Example: Daydreaming

Delta waves

Hertz Level: 0–4 Hz

Effect: Deep, dreamless sleep.

Example: Experiencing REM sleep

It is now clearer how music & musicians enrich our lives, offering more than we realize to us.

There are a few factors to consider when thinking of people within the music industry. They are placed under huge amounts of scrutiny and stress to live up to expectations, having to deal with life, and demands to make sure to stay relevant and at the top.

Studies found that due to fame many people suffer, and struggle. Although this is, what musicians want and work very hard to achieve these studies have concluded that the reason people strive for fame usually is due to a deep need for feeling accepted, loved and appreciated. When the realization that the void isn’t being filled becomes clear, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, disappointment and heartbreak. The dire need to try to fill the void expands and deepens. This is not to mention the detrimental effects that fame has along with the pressure, and trying to deal with this "void" daily.

Effects fame can have on people:

No Privacy

Intense scrutiny if it is their personal lives or in their career.

Huge amounts of pressure usually unrealistic expectations from fans as well as the industry/labels/managers, etc. to stay relevant and achieve.

Paranoia increases

Feeling suffocated "like a caged animal"

Lost sense of self

Feeling unfulfilled /Loss sense of challenges

Fear of becoming irrelevant

Feeling inferior or undeserving.

Feeling alienated and isolated intense.

This can lead to:

Self-doubt and higher levels of insecurity within work- and personal life.

Self-destructive behaviour occurs.

Depression and anxiety levels rise.

Mental instability and stress heighten.

Due to above-mentioned musicians turn to substance abuse and alternative coping mechanisms, they are just humans that are expected to have god-like abilities in the sense of juggling everything in their personal and professional life. Trying to cope, keeping everyone happy, staying sane and at the top. 

The most frightening aspect isn't the abuse of anything but that supposedly “caring” fans, the "industry" and their management teams watch from the sidelines how the out of control spiral happens. No helping hand is extended as it is a "do whatever is needed” industry. If it is required to take something to stay at a certain level or achieve a goal, it will be catered for or even sourced, leading to a dependency in some cases.

Effects of long-term Substance Abuse:

Due to numerous factors, depression, paranoia, and anxiety, form or worsen this also means that the kidneys, liver, heart and lungs start developing deadly problems. Now, this is a bit of a catch 22 situation. Is the depression or substance abuse a result or a cause and vice versa.

Ways to Manage Stress, Pressure and Anxiety along with the reasons musicians struggle to break the cycle:

Take time out — Being on the run and having to be relevant doesn't allow proper downtime.

Eat healthily — when you are in the studio or on tour doing shows, eating healthy isn't always an available option.

Limit caffeine intake - When you need to stay awake Caffeine is usually option one.

Exercise daily — again on tour or having to be in the studio allow little to no time for exercise.

Get enough Sleep — again on tour, having to be in the studio, having to work on new projects there isn’t time available to get enough sleep. 

Don't Use Drugs & Alcohol — Dependency is usually created due to the need to stay awake, calm nerves when performing or whatever the case may be, this is already a lost cause. 

If you break down the Pressure, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression - all these require good sleep patterns, eating healthy etc. that is nearly impossible if you are on tour for months at a time or busy with new projects or just in the studio recording new material. Consequently, this spiral just continues daily.

Furthermore, according to the site "weheartmusic" from the 1st of January until the 4th of September this year already 439 musicians have passed away, in 2017, 589 musicians were lost and in 2016, 603. I find this very sad and heartbreaking to say the least. I will be adding the reasons and causes at a later stage.(As this is a lot of data to work through)

So, in conclusion, I truly hope with all the information gathered and presented that everyone that reads this, will be more caring, more aware, considerate and conscious in what they expect, and the demands they place on the musicians they adore or actually just musicians in general.

Below are interviews with just a few musicians we lost in 2017. When no one was listening.

Chester Bennington

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC_-zeWYMYo

Col Bruce Hampton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNezyaXlMjM

Chris Cornell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMtDwjUXtsY

Gregg Allman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-Xuf_pkpUQ

 In the future, I would like to conduct interviews with a few Musicians and get their views and their feelings about their own lives within this industry, so everyone can understand where they are coming from and going through on a daily basis.

Please see the reference list below:

“Do Musicians Have Different Brains?”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/eyes-the-brain/201006/do-musicians-have-different-brains

“Musician Psychology Accounts for Talent, Success”

http://online.notredamecollege.edu/psychology/musician-psychology-talent-success/

“Behind the music: Why are musicians more likely to suffer from depression?”

https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2010/dec/17/musicians-depression

“Insomnia, anxiety, break-ups … musicians on the dark side of touring”

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/jun/25/musicians-touring-psychological-dangers-willis-earl-beal-kate-nash

“The Psychological Consequences of Fame”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/genius-and-madness/200903/the-psychological-consequences-fame-0

“The psychological impact of being in the spotlight: the emotional struggle of celebrities”

https://drchristinavillarreal.com/2010/03/26/psychological-impact-being-spotlight-emotional-struggle-of-celebrities/

“Fame is a Dangerous Drug: A phenomenological glimpse of celebrity”

https://www.saybrook.edu/blog/2012/02/18/02-18-12/

“Music Affects the Brain for the Better”

https://blog.bufferapp.com/music-and-the-brain

“Music and the Brain:”

https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/music-and-the-brain-affects-mood/

“How Music Affects Us and Promotes Health”

http://www.emedexpert.com/tips/music.shtml

https://examinedexistence.com/the-effect-music-has-on-the-brain/

“How Does Music Affect the Brain?”

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/17143/1/How-Does-Music-Affect-the-Brain.html

“9 ways music can improve your life”

http://theweek.com/articles/448464/9-ways-music-improve-life

“5 Ways Music Affects Your Life For The Better”

https://finds.life.church/5-ways-music-affects-life/

“How Music Affects Your Life”

http://www.syncrat.com/posts/5060/how-music-affects-your-life

“Musician Reveals 5 Ways How Music Changes Your Life”

http://www.michaelgregoryii.com/2015/06/musician-explains-how-music-changes-your-life/

“Musicians Who Died in 2017”

http://weheartmusic.typepad.com/blog/musicians-who-died-in-2017.html

“Musicians Who Died in 2016”

http://weheartmusic.typepad.com/blog/musicians-who-died-in-2016.html

“Musicians Who Died in 2018”

http://weheartmusic.typepad.com/blog/musicians-who-died-in-2018.html

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[domestic-harry]

hiii lisa! so i really love how you've been linking fics to songs and i was wondering if you could do a rec list based off of your top 25 most listened to songs! (i know that's a lot so you don't have to if you don't want to lol)

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

And I’d give up forever to touch you 

Where Your Heart Is: Louis is ready for his brand new adventure. So what if he suffers from a genetic condition that prevents him from being touched? College is going to be awesome. It has to. Karma kind of owes him right now. Forget about his overprotective mother, or Liam– his entirely too chipper step brother– or his mess of a roommate. Forget about the gloves he has to wear at all times. He’s here to expand his knowledge, write and drown himself in books – No matter how distracting ‘Hallway Boy’ may be– The obnoxious, flirty frat wannabe determined to become the bane of Louis’ existence.

Don’t Let Me Go by Harry Styles

Seems like these days I watch you from afarJust trying to make you understand 

Emperor’s New Clothes : Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.

Somebody to Love by Queen

I just gotta get out of this prison cellOne day (someday) I’m gonna be free, Lord!

Atlas At Last : He doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with Oli and Stan, but in the brief moment before Harry ambles up his driveway, Louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of Gay Coming of Age story.Maine to California in ten days. In which Zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in Ohio, Liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and Niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.It’s 1978. Harry and Louis are just trying to get to San Fran in time for the Queen concert.

Right Now by One Direction

You know I can’t fight the feelingAnd every night I feel itRight nowI wish you were here with me

Love Is A Rebellious Bird : AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

But oh how it feels so realLying here with no one near

Never Gonna Dance Again : Louis is a spy and Harry is a dancer. The only real thing they know is each other. 

Wait by M83

Give your tearsTo the tide

Into the Blue : AU. In which Louis is Harry’s scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can’t be all that difficult to convince Harry that they’re on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Just Hold On by Louis Tomlinson

If it all goes wrongDarling, just hold on

You Are The Blood : A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin. 

What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine 

And with one kissYou inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty yearsWhat kind of man loves like this?

Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes : A sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

I’ve Just Seen a Face by Jim Sturgess

I’ve just seen a face,I can’t forget the time or placeWhere we just met

Nameless Night : For their 18th birthday, every person receives a letter that reads a simple date. That is the date you’ll meet your soulmate. Harry and Louis have different beliefs, live in different worlds and have different dreams, hopes and fears. Yet, they’re not so different from each other when it comes to love. When their paths cross, there is no doubt they belong together. Except for that one, essential difference: they didn’t receive the same date.

If I Could Fly by One Direction

I’ve got scars, even though they can’t always be seenAnd pain gets hard, but now you’re here and I don’t feel a thing

Butterfly Gun : Harry has never been much of a fighter, but—as always—where Louis Tomlinson is concerned, a lot of things stop being true.1940’s AU. Even after six years apart, they can’t forget their shared wartime childhood. 

Jumpin’ Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones

I’m Jumpin’ Jack Flash

Escapade : In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for. 

18 by One Direction

Long before we both thought the same thingTo be loved and to be in loveAll I could do is say that these arms were made for holding youI wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18

Red Brick Heart : Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted.

Half A Heart by One Direction

I’m half a man at bestWith half an arrow in my chestI miss everything we doI’m half a heart without you

Never Be : The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

Fallingforyou by The 1975

I don’t wanna be your friend,I wanna kiss your neck

Relief Next To Me : AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. 

Closer by Tegan and Sara

Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closerHere comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer

The Night Sky is Changing Overhead : Harry is a tattoo artist, Louis is a drama professor, and they meet during an argument at a café.

Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones

Faith has been broken, tears must be criedLet’s do some living after we dieWild horses couldn’t drag me away 

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose : American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football. A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end? 

No Control by One Direction

PowerlessAnd I don’t care it’s obviousI just can’t get enough of you

Switch Out the Batteries : Two years after meeting in a sex shop, Harry’s just returning to Louis from a month-long tour in the States, and they come up with a wholesome bonding exercise.

Ship to Wreck by Florence + The Machine

Did I drink too much?Am I losing touch?Did I build this ship to wreck?

Young & Beautiful : Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

Asleep by The Smiths

Deep in the cell of my heartI really want to goThere is another worldThere is a better world 

Here In The Afterglow : 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger. 

From the Dining Table by Harry Styles

We haven’t spoke since you went awayComfortable silence is so overratedWhy won’t you ever be the first to break?Even the phone misses your call, by the way

These Inconvenient Fireworks : Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

Skinny Love by Bon Iver

And in the morning I’ll be with youBut it will be a different kindAnd I’ll be holding all the ticketsAnd you’ll be owning all the fines

Pull Me Under : AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake.

He’s a Pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack

Instrumental 

Resist Everything Except Temptation : The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured.

Sunburn by Ed Sheeran

You scarred and left meLike a sunburn 

Empty Skies : For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream – making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He’s still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

Pine Trees by Jake Bugg

You can sit in the pine treesYou can feel at homeYou can breathe a sigh of silence in the woods

May We Stay Lost On Our Way Home : On March 31st, Harry Styles disappears. Though many speculate, only two people know where to find him: Niall, his former guitarist, and Zayn, who follows where Niall leads.The fact the biggest boy band in the world broke up two weeks earlier might be related to the disappearance. The fact Harry meets a fairy named Louis in the woods is a whole other matter.

Colors by Halsey

Everything was greyHis hair, his smoke, his dreamsAnd now he’s so devoid of colorHe don’t know what it means

Gods & Monsters : The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that’s exactly what he did.

[cabotcreekuniversity]

Dear Asher Kesten as portrayed by Heidi,

Congratulations! On behalf of Cabot Creek University, I am pleased to announce your admission for Fall 2017!

The academic and personal accomplishments reflected on your application for admissions are exactly what Cabot Creek University embodies and represents.

We cannot wait to greet you this coming school year.

Please [ check here ] for further instructions on accepting the offer of admissions. We look forward to working with you.

Name, Age, Timezone, Pronouns:  Heidi, 19, CEST, she/her/they/them

✯ IC Questionnaire ✯ Answer the following OOC about your character:

Character name: Asher Kesten

Character major: Psychology. It wasn’t so much his choice as it was the choice of his parents, as they feel like it is a difficult yet respected field at the same time. Asher feels very much pressured into his major and he finds only few things that interest him. He simultaneously feels trapped by his major, forced into a career that would take him years and years of experience and hard work. He has no problem with that, the thing is he feels no passion for psychology. His dream major would be music, specifically composition as he hopes he could one day write film scores.

Clubs or sports: Hockey: Arguably the only sport he enjoys, the quick and exciting pace of the match always makes him look forward to hockey season.

Will your character have a job?: No, but he does a sort of volunteer work over at the local ballet studio, Madam Lila’s. After finishing music school, Asher had no real resources or access to a piano. The ballet studio was looking for a piano player to accompany dance practices and Asher saw it as a perfect opportunity to hone his pianist skill-he does this, however, in absolute secret, as he is too ashamed to tell anyone.

Give us a head canon about your character: Asher was diagnosed with ADHD combined type when he was six years old. He had been having behavior issues in school. He could barely sit still, touched anything and everything in sight and had a tough time engaging in a quiet activity, as well as having a hard time paying attention, daydreaming and struggling to follow instructions. At the recommendation of his teacher, his parents turned to a psychiatrist who confirmed the teacher’s fears. His parents were ashamed and often berated him not only for his immense interest into the unknown happenings of Cabot Creek, but for his slow processing and inappropriate behaviour as well. His coping with the mental illness is much more on the negative side as it could be,he still hears the negative voice of his mother in his head whenever his symptoms worsen as a result. Speaking of, as he grew older, the symptoms linked to hyperactivity had loosened while those connected to the inattentive type of ADHD became much more apparent. He knows he should probably visit a therapist because of this, which he does from time to time, however he believes his medication will suffice for now.

Answer the following questions IC about your character. Feel free to use a gif to respond if you’d like:

What is an issue you feel most passionate about?:

“Umm, I’m not that into…global issues or whatever, but I guess one thing is global warming. The fact that people are denying it is just wrong. I was just talking with my friend the other time how the ocean levels are dangerously rising and people are still denying it, despite the proof. He looked really pissed about it, you should have seen the look on his face. I’m not that angry, but I’m still not indifferent about the issue.”

Describe your thoughts on social media?:

“A blessing and a curse. It’s cool that I get to post what I’m doing and talk to friends, but a person can quickly get addicted. You hear all the time how we’re all glued to our phones, so there are clearly limits to it. Safe use is everything.”

What is your favorite fandom or movie or TV show or book series (choose one)?:

“Doctor Who, without a doubt. Did you hear, they’re getting a female doctor! A lot of people don’t like that, but a lot of people are cynical so yeah, we’ll see what the show has to offer.”

Opinion on love and romance?:

“It’s complicated…I had crushes before, sure. Everyone had crushes before. If they didn’t, they’re lying. But true love…hmm, tough to say. “

Optional Extras:

Asher feels very two-faced. To a stranger, professor and acquaintance, there is the well-groomed image of Asher Kesten, the cool guy. He’s the one that wears stylish aviators and his favourite combat boots, who says little but has this relaxed aura about him. He’s the one that’s too cool to participate in lessons, who’s grades aren’t the best but just the fact that there seems to be an “I don’t really care” attitude with him makes him a badass. The hockey player who knows how to shoot an awesome goal. And the heir of the Kesten’s, a well-respected family composed of a businessman father George (working in a top-noch computer company)  and a stay at home mother Rebecca.

And then…there’s the other Asher. The one that never rose to the occasion and had his curiosity crushed by his own parents. Who was so afraid of their comments and authority that he began to believe his hobbies and interests were and still are shameful. Who, as a consequence keeps his mouth shut and hides his piano playing. Who is actually quite concerned over his grades yet at the same time anxious of reaching out. He feels the pressure of trying to please his parents, trying to live up to the title of the perfect son, forgetting along the was that his happiness matters. So to most, he puts on the mask of cool Asher, letting only close friends see the other side of him.

As mentioned before, because of his parents, he has trouble seeing the silver lining in the cloud known as ADHD, save for his creativity, because you see, as his mind starts to wonder, he does not jump from point A to B immediately. He goes from point A to Z, back to point C then takes a detour to X, gets lost in Y and only then lands with B. This opens doors to many different ideas, paths and possible results, so what he may call a simple coffee date might turn out to become the great bicycle race of the 21st century through his oddly connected reasoning. His friends love him for it.

When he was a child and questioned his surroundings and his hometown, he kept a messy journal where he would scribble down what he saw and what he thought it was (Think Gravity Falls journal 3, only a lot more childish and messier!)

Asher first gained interest for the piano when he attended dance therapy for his ADHD. He made good progress but the piano player always grabbed his attention, with his smooth and virtuoso-like playing. The man once invited him closer to see his playing and Asher was mesmerized. It took a ton of convincing from himself, his therapist at the time took his side and told his parents how this could be very beneficial, so they gave in with reluctance. Playing the piano is the only activity that grabs Asher’s whole attention, so much so that he becomes hyperfocused. He’s absolutely determined to improve in any way. His favourite songs to play are the classics: Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, albeit he hones an appreciation for piano covers of famous songs. He keeps his playing a secret, as he is too afraid of what people might say (his parents have said enough. While he received compliments from others, they never said anything good or just told him the piano is silly. That they’ll find him a new hobby. They didn’t).

His favourite genre is rock. The eternal fan of Queen, he enjoys The Beatles, Pink Floyd and Guns ‘n Roses also.

He played center for his high school hockey team. His friend told him that he’d be a good addition and boy, was he right. Asher still has his hockey number 11 jersey proudly displayed in his room, it’s the one hobby he’s not ashamed of, as he feels it’s manly (and it helps that his father is a fan of the sport). He hopes to make it on the University team

His jokes mainly consist of puns…a lot of puns…

Asher is artistic. He’s decent at drawing and has a knack for arts & crafts. It’s no surprise he was on the school decorating committee. His teachers were very supportive and impressed by his willingness to participate in such activities. He still makes origami when he’s bored.

[jordanpotterfilms-blog]

Master Filmmaker: Nicolas Winding Refn

On September 16th, 2011 audiences across the world were blown away after the release of Danish Director Nicolas Winding Refn’s visual masterpiece: Drive. It was evident to most who saw Drive that Refn was more than just a brilliant director, he was a Master Filmmaker. “I don’t want to be a director, I don’t want to be a writer, I don’t want to be a producer, I don’t want to be a photographer, I don’t want to be an editor, I don’t want to be a sound man. I want to be all of them at once”. (Nicholas Winding Refn, Anger Management). Nicholas Winding Refn is a Master Filmmaker because of his years of dedication to the craft and unwavering commitment to his unique vision and style.

    Refn was born on September 29th 1970 in Copenhagen, Denmark to cinematographer Vibeke Winding and director/editor Anders Refn.  Growing up under the two filmmakers and absorbing their work planted the seeds in his mind that would turn him into the Master that he is today. “I am a child of cinema, and I am a cineaste, so everything I do is a reference to something I've heard or experienced or seen. And we all do it, we all steal. The ones who claim they don't, are obviously lying, because you do. You just have to make it your own” (Nicholas Winding Refn, Inspiring Quotes).  Years later Refn attended film school in New York at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts but decided that school was not for him after being expelled for throwing a desk against a classroom wall.  He moved back to Denmark and began his career with two critically successful films; Pusher and Bleeder. Feeling confident after having made a name for himself in the European film industry, Refn hit his Emotional Pitfall when he personally funded his first English film Fear X. Unlike his first films, Fear X was not a success and left him bankrupt and in severe debt.  The “Grandiosity” (Robert Green, Mastery) that he felt after his success caused him to jump into a project he was unprepared for.  The praise he received from his successes with virtually no criticism made him believe he was ready to take on a project that was still beyond his creative abilities.  To his chagrin Refn was forced to return to Denmark and take funding to make two sequels for his initially successful film Pusher. This time, allowed him to pay off his debt and cultivate the skills he needed to make his next English films Valhalla Rising and Bronson which were huge successes.

    At a young age, Refn already knew that his “Life’s Task” was to be a filmmaker. “I love films, I love movies, I love television, I love television series, I love the internet, I love anything that enhances images. But most of all, I love, love movies” (Nicolas Winding Refn, Inspiring Quotes).  He had already completed his first step to Mastery by discovering his creative task.  It wasn’t until after his emotional pitfall and failure with Fear X that Refn was able to begin his second step and develop his creative strategies. Returning to Denmark forced Refn to dig deep into his craft and grow his artistic style.  It was his first time not just relying on his innate talent.  During these years while he worked on the Pusher Trilogy he began the third step, working toward his creative breakthrough.  Even though the second and third Pusher films were not what he wanted to work on he pressed through until he was able to make his first English success: Valhalla Rising. He finally had worldwide success and cemented his name in the list of legendary film Masters.

    Out of the nine Masters mentioned by Robert Greene in the creative strategies section of his book Mastery Refn seems to be most comparable to the great composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  Just as Mozart had to go against his fathers’ instruction to achieve his creative breakthrough, so did Refn. “I grew up in a cinema family. My parents were brought up on the French New Wave. That was God to them, but to me it was the antichrist, and how better to rebel against your parents than by watching something your mother is going to hate, which were American Horror movies.” (Nicolas Winding Refn, Anger Management).  While Refn never ruined his relationship with his parents in the way that Mozart did, Refn did go in a direction with his films that disappointed his parents.  

    Refn was born into a family where his future passion developed into constant experimentation thus resulting in a Mastery of craft. His childhood mind was exposed to filmmaking which equaled in his desire and action toward having knowledge in all aspects of filmmaking. His dedication and passion for the craft of filmmaking allowed Refn to push through failure and resulted in a Master deemed brilliant at his craft.  

Resources

Foundas, S. (2012). Anger Management - Nicolas Winding Refn. Retrieved from https://www.dga.org/Craft/DGAQ/All-Articles/1203-Summer-2012/Independent-Voice-Nicolas-Winding-Refn.aspx

Griffin, A. (n.d.). Nicolas Winding Refn Biography. Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0716347/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm

I. (n.d.). Top 6 quotes of Nicolas Winding Refn famous quotes, rare quotes and sayings | inspringquotes.us. Retrieved from https://www.inspiringquotes.us/author/8671-nicolas-winding-refn

Greene, R. (2014). The concise mastery. London: Profile Books.

[heyho-simonrussellbeale]

“I’ve played some pretty malevolent characters in my time,” says Simon Russell Beale. Hasn’t he just. There was his Richard III for the RSC (1992), his Iago in Othello at the National (1997) and his Macbeth at the Almeida (2005), nuanced studies in evil that helped to build his reputation as perhaps the greatest stage actor of his generation. Yet the 56-year-old may just have created his most loathsome baddie yet, and it’s in a big-screen comedy. 

The Death of Stalin, Armando Iannucci’s chilling and hilarious farce about the jostling for power in the Politburo after Uncle Joe’s demise in 1953, has an excellent, startlingly diverse cast: Steve Buscemi, Michael Palin, Jeffrey Tambor, Andrea Riseborough, Rupert Friend, Jason Isaacs, Paul Whitehouse. Russell Beale, however, eclipses them all as Lavrentiy Beria, the head of the Soviet secret police, whom Stalin introduced as “our Himmler”. Torture, rape, murder, paedophilia — Beria was arguably the most horrible figure in the postwar Kremlin, and that’s saying something.

“He’s not a very comic character,” says Russell Beale, clutching a cushion to his chest on a sofa in a hotel in central London. “I found the scenes in which he tortured people a bit . . .” He makes a face.

No, at first glance Beria isn’t a bundle of laughs, but Russell Beale is an actor whose stage CV, including Much Ado About Nothing and King Arthur in Spamalot, shows him to be as adept at comedy as he is at villainy. 

He finds humour in Beria just as Peter Capaldi found it in the ostensibly terrifying Malcolm Tucker in Iannucci’s TV series The Thick of It. Not in terms of baroque profanity, but he lurks like Tucker, and there are deep, grim laughs in the way he instils fear in others: underlings, guards, even (perhaps especially) his rivals for the top job. The real Beria, Russell Beale says, “liked looking in people’s eyes and seeing them terrified”.

In the film he’s a dead ringer for the real Beria: his head is shaved and he’s kitted out in full Soviet regalia. (“The hat pulled down and the big coat and the pince-nez — so difficult to control, the pince-nez.”) When Iannucci showed him a photograph of Beria, he was delighted at the resemblance.

Today, Russell Beale is a cannonball of charm in black baseball jacket, black T-shirt and jeans, his silver hair cropped short. He’s fine company, deploying an impressive repertoire of self-effacement, stage whispers, conspiratorial puffs on his e-cigarette and nonchalant name-drops, referring to “Ralph” (Fiennes), “Mark” (Rylance), “Sam” (Mendes) and, of course, “Armando”. A question about his relationship status is met with a grin. “Yes I’m currently single — and yes I’m homosexual.

”Movie junkets are a novelty for Russell Beale. “I haven’t done this before,” he says, looking around the suite. “It’s a very strange procedure.” This is his biggest screen role, isn’t it? “It’s about my only screen role!” That’s an exaggeration: he has had parts in Into the Woods, My Week With Marilyn and more. Nothing as meaty as this, though, which is finally a film triumph to rank with his stage and television ones (two Oliviers, two Baftas).

Fear is at the centre of The Death of Stalin. “They’re all so f***ing frightened,” Russell Beale says. This was a time of lists: if your name was on one, you’d get a knock on the door in the middle of the night, then the gulag if you were lucky, the firing squad if you weren’t.

Yet, as the boom in Soviet-era joke books demonstrated, there is plenty of scope for gallows humour in all of this. Beria is the rotten heart of a squirmingly funny ensemble piece that’s given comedic distance by the non-Russian accents (pure New York for Buscemi’s Khrushchev, bullish Yorkshire for Isaacs’s General Zhukov and Russell Beale’s own middle-class English for Beria) and an anarchic twist by Iannucci’s yen for improvisation.

To a creature of the text such as Russell Beale, improv was a terrifying prospect. Iannucci “laughed at me because I learnt the whole script”, he says; that was pointless because it would go through so many iterations between writing and shooting. “I rather panicked, but by the time we got to the scenes I had about seven versions in my head. It at least gives you options.”

The Americans, Buscemi and Tambor, were “absolutely superb on the improvisations”, he says. “What they do brilliantly is locate something small, like the hardness of a chair or the shit coffee. Whereas I would be thinking, ‘I don’t know anything about the 1953 Soviet transport system.’ ” To make matters worse Iannucci is “quite strict; he knows what he thinks is funny”. Well, he liked what he saw with Russell Beale — that terror probably helped.

The actor has history with Stalin, having played him on stage in Collaborators in 2011. There’s a contrast, he thinks, with his Shakespearean villains. “Iago is stupid. Stalin and Beria I think are genuinely clever. All they wanted was power — no yachts. I don’t think Richard III is like that; he wants power because of all the jewellery.”

In the film Beria is the first man to see Stalin’s body and there is a brilliant scene where he is alone with it for several minutes, the fate of a vast nation in his hands. He wastes no time in unlocking Stalin’s desk and disposing of some incriminating papers. Having learnt his trade on the stage, where props need to be accounted for, Russell Beale obsessed over which pocket Beria would put the key to the desk in. “Armando said, ‘It’s not the theatre, you don’t have to worry about where you put the f***ing key.’ ”

Has such freedom whetted his appetite for more? Does he cast envious glances at Rylance, his main challenger for the title of world’s greatest stage actor, who has become Steven Spielberg’s go-to guy? “Oh, I’d love to do more. I’m not desperate for it, but I’d love to follow Mark.” A pause. “I feel I need to learn a bit more.”

Russell Beale is big on learning: he still takes piano lessons and recently taught himself ancient Greek. He was born in Malaysia, where his father was an army doctor, and after boarding school at Clifton College in Bristol he was set to be a doctor like his parents, three of his siblings (and now three nephews and nieces). Instead he took a first-class degree in English at Cambridge. Music also looms large in his life: as a boy he was a chorister at St Paul’s, he has presented a BBC Four documentary series, Sacred Music, and he is due to play JS Bach in a play by Nina Raine.

Riseborough, who plays Stalin’s daughter, Svetlana, in The Death of Stalin, has said that her main memory of the shoot is of Russell Beale listening to classical music. “The reason I was doing that is Armando has said he doesn’t like Mozart. And I said, ‘I’m going to spend this shoot listening entirely to Mozart because I am sort of with you. I know he’s a genius, but I always preferred to listen to Beethoven or Schubert.’ ” What was the conclusion? “We are wrong. Don Giovanni is a masterpiece.”

Pop music he’s less hot on. When he’s in make-up for his present job, playing Becky Sharp’s father in a forthcoming ITV production of Vanity Fair, “every morning we have some music that I don’t understand”. In true Russell Beale style, he has resolved to do something about that gap in his knowledge, persuading his make-up artist to teach him about hip-hop and R&B. “There’s so much in the world that we don’t understand. You just think, ‘Come on, I’m going to be dead soon.’ ”

Perhaps with an eye on his burgeoning screen career, he recently bought a heap of film books and watched a string of classics at home in London, including The Godfather (“fantastic”) and Fanny and Alexander (“a miracle”). So there’s no longer a snobbishness about film in the theatre world? “Noooo. Most theatre people would love to work in film. They’re all gagging for it. People used to get knighthoods if they were stage actors, but not if they were screen actors, but that’s disappeared, thank God, and there’s a great deal of respect for people who can do both, like Sam [Mendes].”

He has another movie out next year, Museo, a Mexican heist flick in which he co-stars with Gael García Bernal. “He’s complete heaven! Gorgeous. Quite small, but he has that magical thing on film where his face just goes ping! Was is that? Miranda Richardson has it, and I’ve seen Emily Mortimer do it. Anyway, he was gorgeous and I had a lovely week filming in John Wayne’s house in Acapulco. My dressing room was in the house, with three sides of glass looking out on to the Pacific.”

The movie-star life, you feel, might suit him rather well. This is a man who can also go ping.