#and adding that the psychiatrist wants to ''medicate that out of'' them

[mirandasidefics]

But Home is Nowhere- Chapter 13

Pairing(s): Lucien x Plus Size Reader, Azriel x Plus Size Reader, and Ruhn Dannan x Plus Size Reader.

Summary: Reader and Ruhn have a heart to heart and your friendship finally begins to move forward. Those from Midgard also learn some interesting information from their most recent trip.

Word Count: 5.8 K

Warnings: Some mild spoilers for Cresent City 3. If you haven't read this series, or this book I highly recommend that you do as parts of this story will make much more sense in the next chapter.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay of this chapter. December was an extremely rough month for me. I'm going to be talking with my psychiatrist about a possible medication change to see if that will give me some more energy and focus without adding to my anxiety.

As always, a HUGE thank you to my beta reader @hardcoremarvelfan for all her help!

Series Masterlist Divider by @/tsunami-of-tears

Previous: Chapter 12 Pt2 Next: Chapter 14

Ruhn didn’t even register that he had fallen asleep until he turned over and a bright light attempted to penetrate the darkness of his closed eyes. Groaning, he turned back over, his arm draping over the plush body next to him. A soft gasp caused Ruhn to open his eyes to find (e/c) orbs staring directly at him. 

“Uh…” Ruhn cleared the gravel from his throat as he gave the woman a sheepish smile, “Hi?” (Y/N) glared at him for a brief moment. Ruhn held his breath waiting for her to berate and kick him out. However, her expression softened before she pressed her forehead against his chest. 

“You’re home,” Her voice was soft, muffled by how close her face was to his chest. Ruhn had to suppress the shiver her warm breath generated on his skin.  

“Of course,” He carefully tightened his hold on her waist. “I had no intention of not coming back. Just…took me a bit longer to get here than I thought it would.” She nodded against his chest; however, the softness of the moment was short-lived.

“You fucking jackass!” She perched herself on her elbow before smacking the center of his chest. “Do you have any idea how worried I was last night? Where the hell were you?” Ruhn couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him as he looked at her stern expression. 

“I’m sorry,” He apologized through his laughter. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. I was out with Cassian. Apparently I looked like a kicked puppy, so he thought alcohol would make that better.”

“Don’t blame Cassian,” She narrowed her eyes. “You knew perfectly well that…” She paused, releasing a long breath through her nose. “You know what, you don’t owe me any explanation or apology. You’re a grown male and capable of making your own decisions.” Her eyes returned to his, and Ruhn had the good sense to recognize that there was more on her mind. He knew that a week of active avoidance between them would require work to recover from. 

“I do owe you at least one apology for what happened last week,” He corrected. “That is if you’re willing to listen to me now.”

“Excuse me?” The woman sat up fully. “You could have apologized at any-”

“Would you have actually listened to me before you had a chance to calm down?” He smiled softly. She narrowed her eyes again, but allowed him to continue. “I know that you needed some time.” After a moment she relaxed her expression, laying back down against the pillows. 

“I hate the fact you know me so well,” She turned her head to look up at the ceiling, “But you’re right. I did need that time.” 

“I know,” Ruhn teased, watching as she rolled her (e/c) eyes. He paused before his voice took on a more somber tone. “I am sorry for what I said on your birthday. I didn’t…I never want you to feel like you’ve been forgotten. You mean too much to…everyone here.” He paused, allowing his lackluster apology to sink in. He couldn’t tell her exactly what he revealed to Azriel a few hours ago. He couldn’t tell the woman lying next to him that he was in love with her. Not just yet anyway, not while there were things he needed to figure out if he wanted to do things right. 

“Thank you, Ruhn.” She turned on her side to face him again. “I know you didn’t mean to be hurtful. While there is a lot that needs to be…worked out; I just want things to go back to how they were before. Return to the day to day life with one of my best friends.” Ruhn could tell that her words also held a mixed bag of emotions. He doubted that he knew the subtle twitch of the corner of her lips before curling up into a half-hearted smile indicated she was attempting to prevent tears from springing to her eyes. 

“Friend…yeah” Ruhn paused. “I haven’t been a very good one of those have I? I’ve kept you at a bit of a distance, and that isn’t exactly fair to you.”  

“You went through a lot. You don’t have to tell me anything about your past if you don’t want to.” Her voice was gentle. “And I shouldn’t be holding that against you.” 

“That isn’t the reason I’ve held back,” He admitted. “I’ve been so scared that…it's been a few years and fear has ruled almost all of my actions. I don’t want that to continue, at least not with you.” 

(Y/N) nodded, understanding evident in her eyes as her gaze met Ruhn’s. A heavy silence fell between them. Ruhn could tell that she was allowing him time to decide how the rest of the morning would unfold. As the silence in the room pressed on, she remained curled up against his side, head resting on his shoulder. Her hand lazily-and likely absent mindedly-following the geometric pattern of the tattoo spanning from his left bicep to his shoulder and extending down to his left pectoral. 

He wanted to savor this quiet moment. The peace of lying next to her warmth and softness. If there was ever a perfect moment to open up to the human woman, now would be the time. Ruhn recalled that when he first started to share his personal history with Agent Daybright he spoke to her of his father. He would have to start with something different this time. It was only the right thing to do to ensure that he didn’t treat (Y/N) like a replacement.   

“Would you like to hear about my mother?” His voice broke through the comfortable silence. She tilted her head up, a soft hum of confirmation.

“Please.” Her voice was soft as she looked up at him. 

“Her name is Lorin…” As soon as Ruhn began to speak to her about his mother, it was like the flood gates had finally burst open. He rambled from one topic to another, and he certainly hadn’t intended to reveal so much of the trauma he endured at the hands of his father. She quietly listened to everything he shared. No judgment or pity filled her eyes. She never interrupted, only nodding occasionally to show she was following him. He even shared a few things that he had not spoken to many people about. Not only did he explain how the tattoos started as a way to cover up scars, but he also told her the meanings that each design held for him. 

A rendition of the Starsword, surrounded by a few simple stars, covered the inside of his left forearm. He recounted the details of his Ordeal, the desperation he felt to find a way to protect his friends, Declan and Flynn, his brothers if he was being honest. On the outer side of the left forearm were roses mixed with thorn covered vines. While he had grown to hate his Father’s villa in FiRo, it had been where he grew up. 

Above that, in the space of his inner bicep, was a simple design of The Embrace. He explained the image depicted Solas and Cthona coming together as one. This led to him talking to her about how each of Midgard’s houses were blessed by or honored at least one of the five major deities from his world. While Solas was the deity for his own House, he couldn’t remember exactly why he had been so compelled to have what was more commonly regarded as a symbol for the House of Earth and Blood inked into his skin. It took him a minute to realize this was the last tattoo he had gotten before their attempt to overrun the Asteri. Shortly after he had started speaking to Agent Daybright. However, he kept that last bit of information to himself as he remembered who Agent Daybright turned out to be…and which House she belonged to. 

He continued to his right arm, a series of braided knots covered the entirety of his right forearm, the design covering the area that held the worst of his scars. The outer bicep depicted a tree, its branches creating an intricately woven knot and its roots a mirror image. A perfect balance above and below. Her hands traced along each of the designs. He thought he heard her muttering to herself as she examined the tree, taking extra care to outline and follow each branch and root pattern.   

“I’ve seen this tree before,” She admitted softly. “Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life. It was believed in some parts of my world to be what holds the nine worlds of the cosmos.” The woman paused, and Ruhn could see the gears in her mind twirling. “No… ” With a quick shake of her head she sat up, pushing the covers to the side. 

“No, what?” Ruhn sat up as well, moving to follow her. 

“Where did you get the idea for this tattoo?” She asked, brows bunched up together as she stared at the black ink design. He had yet to add any color to it. Mainly because he wasn’t sure what colors best suited the image. It was one of his more rare black and white dreams where it first appeared. 

“I-I saw it in a dream,” His voice was slightly hesitant. He had never told anyone that before. He always made up some story about seeing it in an art piece on Avallen decades ago. But for some reason, the truth slipped from his lips as he looked at her. 

“What was the name of the deity for that scary house in Midgard again?” Her eyes remained on the roots of the tree as her hands twisted up sheets in front of her. 

“Scary…you mean the House of Flame and Shadow?” Ruhn continued to watch as (Y/N) nodded acknowledgement. “Urd, a Goddess of Fate. While she may be considered more of the patron of that house, all of Midgard honors her in some fashion.” 

“What do depictions of her look like on Midgard?” She finally looked at him. Again, Ruhn could see that her mind was putting together bits of information. Information that he knew she would only continue to withhold. 

“I honestly don’t really know. There aren’t very many pictures of statues of her outside of the Bone Quarter in Lunathion. That’s where her temple is believed to be. Only the dead and necromancers are really allowed over there. Unless you have a death mark. Which are not at all easy to get.”  She nodded again, chewing her lower lip and picking at her thumb nail. Her (e/c) eyes staring off into the distance. “What’s going on, (Y/N)?” His use of her name snapped her out of whatever rumination plagued her mind. 

“Nothing,” She shook her head a final time before a smile took over her features. “We should probably get some breakfast going. You can tell me some more about your Ordeal and the Drop.” 

The months after Ruhn’s apology, things returned to normal for the most part. The biggest change for the better was that your and Ruhn’s friendship improved significantly. He moved all of his belongings back into your bedroom, including things that you didn’t know he still kept in the other room at all. He also resumed sleeping in the bed with you each night. The only exceptions were the times he went to Midgard, which were becoming more frequent. He explained that his friends, Declan and Flynn, had spent months looking on their own for any information regarding the Star sword and Truth Teller. This, of course, resulted in him finally opening up to you about all the events that preceded his capture by the Asteri. Listening to him recount the highlights of the year before you met had never made you feel more grateful for being a person of no importance back on your own world.  

His opening up did have perks as he also filled you in on many of the Fae traditions and life on Midgard in general. You had so many theories running through your head that your attention couldn’t be divided anywhere else when the subject of life on Midgard came up. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you listened to him so intently. The way those blue-violet eyes of his lit up…it was clear that cared deeply for those that had remained on Midgard. He missed them fiercely, his family. That’s really who they all were to him, his family. Despite Bryce and Hunt also being in Prythian alongside him, it was clear that he struggles with being separated from the bulk of his family. You had to suppress the intrusive desire of wanting to be included in that sentiment. Any time the thought arose you found yourself remembering that the events on your birthday were simply a fluke. Just because you grew close with the male, didn’t mean he saw you as anything more than a friend. He was no different in that regard to Lucien, a simple yet close friend. 

It was a strange concept to think about. You had been in Prythian for nearly five years, and you still felt like an outsider. An intruder posing as someone who is supposed to belong. To anyone looking in from the outside it would look that way. Nanny for the High Lord and Lady, friends with the first Valkyries in centuries, and routinely seen around Velaris with the elusive and infamous Shadowsinger. Regardless of what they all said or how close you had become over time, you could still feel the tension from where you were kept at a distance. You couldn’t exactly blame them either. You were mortal. You would die in just a few short decades while the rest of them would continue to live on for centuries if not millenia. 

The only person that you knew, with absolute certainty, saw you as an included member of their life was Nyx. You were well aware of how much the little heir adored you, and you adored him in turn. Knowing that there would be at least one person- 

The landing of Hunt’s feet on the cobblestones outside the townhouse distracted you from further diving into a downward spiral. The crunching of stone was followed by the beating of wings as he took off again, likely to get whomever he had left over at the Moonstone gate they built at the Sidra’s edge near the River House. No sooner than hearing the angel take off again did Bryce burst through the front door. 

“(Y/N)!” Her voice held an excited sing-song lilt. The corner of your  lip twitched up as she rounded the corner from the foyer into the parlor. Bryce’s crimson hair flowed around her, reminding you that despite her half human heritage she looked fully Fae. You tried to push the faint sting of envy, reminding yourself that she doesn’t exactly enjoy that half of her heritage. Though you knew she’d be grateful when she finally realized her long life span will allow her to have as much time with her mate and found family that many humans crave.  

“I have a surprise for you,” Bryce continued, bringing a wrapped gift box out from behind her back. The absolute look of mischievous glee on her face was the only thing that gave you any pause. You still took the fairly large box from her outstretched arms before the two of you resumed sitting on the sofa. 

“What is this? My birthday was six months ago and it’s not yet solstice,” You asked, eyeing the perfectly square package. Nothing about the box or its wrapping gave away what the contents could possibly be, and there wasn’t anything that either of you had specifically discussed her getting from a more “modern” world. 

Bryce had been kind enough to obtain some basic feminine essentials for you during some of her past trips to Midgard. You were extremely grateful for her efforts in gathering a variety of period products for you. You spent your first few cycles bleeding through scraps of cloth and felt like you were practically confined to your bedroom and the ensuite bathroom. You quickly decided that you did not want to spend a week every month in that condition. While you had asked the females in your new life how they managed their own cycles, Nesta explained that High Fae only experienced two cycles a year. Due to the infrequency of cycles the pain was reported to be nearly unbearable and resulted in many females being completely bedridden. Nesta also confirmed that scrap linens were the preferred method of keeping things clean for humans and Fae alike, regardless of the financial resources available. 

“Just open it,” Bryce encouraged, plopping the box into your lap. “Especially if you don’t want the guys to see what’s inside.” She tapped the top of the box, a shallow sounding thud indicating that the box was entirely filled with only the Gods knew what. You lifted the box, examining the meticulous wrapping. Each corner of the golden paper was tucked in tightly and secured. 

“What the hell did you get then?” You narrowed your eyes in her direction as you held the box up to your ear and began to shake it. “Doesn’t Hunt know anyway?” You set the box down when it didn’t make any sounds. 

“Nope,” Bryce chirped. “If he did, he would not have let me give that to you.” Her smile grew as she patted the box again. 

“Okay, now I’m worried.” You eyed her warily, your fingers subtly twitching against the smooth surface of the paper. “Do I even want to know what this is?” 

“Yes, you do.” She moved closer to you on the couch. “I can say with absolute certainty that some, if not all, of the items in there will be…useful in the future.” Her amber eyes shone as bright as the starlight that simmered under her light bronze skin.  You rolled your eyes at her playful insistence and quickly tore open the golden wrapping. The box itself was fairly nice, sturdy and could be easily kept to hold whatever its contents already included. 

“I swear to whatever is holy Bryce if this is some-” The words immediately died on your tongue and your jaw literally dropped. Bryce erupted in a fit of giggles at seeing your shocked expression. Inside the box was a plethora of items that made up what you could only describe as a ‘family planning care package’. You could admit upon immediate inspection that at least half the items in the box would be useful. PH balancing feminine wash, extra sanitary pads, a few reusable menstrual discs and cups. The other items…well, she was right that you definitely didn’t want anyone else seeing the contents. Especially Ruhn. You didn’t know how you’d explain the presence for the large box of condoms, two decently sized bottles of lubricant, two packages of pregnancy tests and…

“Ovulation tests? Are you fucking kidding me Bryce?” You wanted to be mad, but her laugh was too infectious. You fell into your own fit of laughter right alongside her. Through your laughter you took another look at the box of condoms.

“Fucking hell, how much sex do you think I’m going to be having?” You held up the box of condoms, a variety pack, and began to examine it. “One hundred condoms? Really?” You shook the box at her for added emphasis on just how ridiculous the item was. 

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure that one of my closest friends had everything that she would need.” Bryce managed to defend through her continued laughter. “Especially if she is going to continue sleeping with my brother.” 

“Bryce! You know perfectly well Ruhn and I are not like that,” You placed the care package in between the two of you while the box of condoms remained in your grasp. 

“Sure, whatever you say,” She smirked, the deep red of her lip stick amplifying her mischievous tone. “Then this can all be for whenever you do meet that special someone, which you will.” She held up a finger to silence the objection which was poised on the tip of your tongue. “I know this, because you’d be-” 

“A novelty, Bryce. Anywhere I go in this city I am looked at as a novelty.” Your voice took on a slight edge. “I am the only human living in the Night Court. Hell, I’m the only human living in all of Prythian.” You sighed, setting the box of condoms in your lap. 

“Which is exactly why I picked a variety pack,” She smirked, completely ignoring your statement. Your eyes followed her elegant finger as it pointed to the side edge of the box.  “Glow in the dark.” 

“Oh sweet Jesus,” Your laughter returned and doubled as you read the words on the box, directly under the list of flavors making up a quarter of the box’s contents. Tears of laughter quickly filled your eyes as Bryce broke down right beside you on the couch in the parlor. The two of you were so busy laughing that you didn’t hear Hunt return with Ruhn in tow. 

“What are you two so giggly for?” Ruhn smiled from the entrance to the parlor. Still facing Bryce your eyes went wide, the box of family planning items still opened between you and the half fae female. Without even needing the ability to speak mind to mind, Bryce immediately started helping you repack the box with lightning quick reflexes. 

“Nothing! It’s nothing!” You shouted, sliding the box under the couch. Once it was fully tucked away you looked up at the male. Your jaw dropped for the second time and gasped, “What the fuck did you do to your hair!” You stared at Ruhn, eyes watering as you stood to meet him. The past two months Ruhn had allowed the hair on the shaved side of his head to fill in. You had been unsure as to why, but now you knew. You lifted your hand to the right side of his head, where the beautiful waist length locks had once flowed. 

“I know,” Ruhn brought his hand up and gently grasped your fingers. His hair was short, equal in length on both sides. The style honestly reminded you of Azriel’s typical cut. However, the fresh cut combined with Ruhn’s features made his resemblance to Rhysand all the more striking. 

“You’re not sleeping next to me when you look like him,” There was no laughter in your voice. 

“It will grow back, don’t worry,” He reassured, his fingers interlacing with yours as he led you both back to the couch. His arm easily fell along the back of your shoulders as he leaned in to kiss your temple. You felt your lips twitch trying to suppress the smile. Your friendship had certainly gone back to normal, yes, but there were times when he was a little more affectionate than before. Just like he was right now. From the corner of your eye you saw Bryce’s wide knowing grin. You’d have to remind her, yet again, that your relationship with Ruhn was platonic. Even though a small part of you wanted the dynamic to go in a more romantic direction. 

“I tried to tell him he didn’t need to cut it that short,” Hunt joined in on the conversation, sitting himself on the arm of the couch behind Bryce. His own hair also appeared freshly cut compared to the last time you saw him. 

“And steal your and Cassian’s signature look? I don’t have the wings to pull it off, ” Ruhn joked, his blue-violet eyes turning towards you. “Besides, it's not exactly like I wanted to cut it.”  His thumb gently stroking the sliver of exposed skin on your shoulder. 

“So why did you?” You asked, your hand reached out again and this time he allowed you to pinch a few strands between your fingers. 

“Well, I had planned to just grow it all out.” He answered, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “But that prick was right. Even with the long hair I’d be too recognizable.” You bunched your eyebrows together as you looked between them. 

“Our father,” Bryce supplied, her tone now short and clipped. You nearly choked on air at the news. A sinking feeling in your stomach had you anticipating that this last trip was much more eventful than any of their previous trips to Midgard had been over the past few years. 

“Your father?” You angled your body towards Ruhn. “You saw him?” 

“Yeah, and we actually had a fairly interesting conversation,” Ruhn admitted. 

“If you count not immediately being turned over to the Asteri as interesting,” Hunt added, a slight smirk on his lips. You blinked, trying to prepare yourself for whatever asinine reasoning they could have had for going to such a well guarded location such as the Autumn King’s villa given their high profile fugitive status. 

“Why would you even risk a trip like that?” You focused your attention on Ruhn, even though you were fairly certain the entire meeting was likely an impromptu affair by Bryce. Both siblings had told you all about their respective histories with the selfish male that sired them. It went without saying that you had no desire to ever meet the asshole. “How do you know that he isn’t planning to just turn you in the second you all get back to Midgard? What was so important that you had to risk-”

“Easy sweetheart,” Ruhn reassured, his arm bringing you closer to his frame. “We had very good reason, and at this point seeing him and getting the information we got out weighed the risks.” He met your eyes, his expression soft as he tried to subtly comfort your worries.  

“Fine,” You relented. “What did you learn then?” You settled back into your spot on the couch as you waited for them to explain.

“We learned what the Star Sword and Truth Teller may be able to create when used together,” Bryce answered. “Something that may be able to destroy the Asteri.” Her voice no longer held any hint of the playful spirit it had moments ago. You sat up straighter. This was news you had not anticipated hearing. In fact, you had hated to admit that you long gave up any hope that you would live long enough to hear any good news for your friends in their efforts to rescue their world. If the blades could truly be combined to destroy the Asteri, well that was worth risking a visit to their father. Honestly, that was information worth risking everything. 

“What…” You were at a loss for words. “W-what can they do?” Your voice was hesitant, and you hoped that they didn’t see the true reason behind your question. You knew it was important for them to be able to go home. You also knew that once the Asteri were gone, the three of them would return to Midgard permanently. You tried to stop the thoughts of how much you would lose if the trio left Prythian so soon. Specifically, the loss of one of the people that had become so important to you. The fact that you didn’t want to be parted from Ruhn permanently hit you like a ton of bricks. It was only Ruhn’s gentle squeezing of your shoulder that pulled you back to the moment.  

“Legend has it the two blades are supposed to open a portal when combined,” Bryce’s voice was eerily calm, “Specifically, a portal to Nowhere.” 

“What?” You stared at her, waiting for a punchline that never came. “Nowhere? Really? You’re telling me the giant skull of a deceased Celestial is real and floating around somewhere in the universe?” All three of them looked at you as if you had morphed into said giant skull. “Guardians of the Galaxy? Come on, you don’t have the MCU or Marvel comics in your world?” While Bryce and Hunt stared at you with confused expressions, you could make out the subtle twitch of Ruhn’s lips as he suppressed a desire to laugh. “Nowhere is the name of the skull in the Marvel Cinematic Universe…or multiverse…point is I was trying to be funny.” 

“You are funny,” Bryce’s lip finally curled up in a half smile. “At least I assume you are when your audience knows what it is you’re referencing.” You gave her an exasperated smile before tilting your head back and groaning.  

“Okay, so what the hell does your father mean by ‘Nowhere’ then?” You asked leaning back against the couch. Ruhn’s arm remained draped over your shoulder, his thumb resuming its gentle strokes along your skin.  

“Unfortunately the fucker was less than helpful in that regard,” Bryce’s good humor was gone again at the reminder of the Autumn King. 

“She means that he wasn’t entirely sure,” Ruhn clarified. “All he found on the subject was what the blades were supposed to do and nothing more. However, he indicated that maybe the Fae archives on Avallen held more information that he had yet to locate.” You couldn’t suppress the snort quick enough. Hearing the name of the island where the Fae first settled on Midgard always amused you. Another item to the growing list of similarities between your world and theirs. 

“Well that is maddeningly unhelpful,” You shook your head softly and pulled your legs up onto the couch. You leaned your body closer to Ruhn’s. 

“Yes, but there is one positive.” Hunt gently reminded both siblings. “He already had Flynn and Dec looking in the archives.” 

“They didn’t even find anything useful,” Bryce countered, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yes they did,” Ruhn snapped. “The series of maps they found-”

“Show nothing but the fact that land masses change over millennia,” Bryce spat. 

“Bryce,” Hunt’s calm tone cut through their bickering. “It may not have been what we were hoping to find, but the information is interesting.” Hunt took a moment to look towards you. “Dec and Flynn found maps of Avallen, some of which included smaller islands that had since disappeared. The disappearance of the smaller islands wasn’t over thousands over years, but within a couple of decades, which makes the information interesting.”

“Yeah, land masses don’t change that quickly Bryce,” Ruhn added childishly. You smacked his chest before shushing him. His sister responded with her own equally childish response of sticking her tongue out in Ruhn’s direction. 

“That is interesting,” You looked between Ruhn and Hunt. “But I’m with Bryce on this. How is that information relevant to defeating the Asteri?” 

“It likely isn’t relevant,” Hunt conceded. “But the land where the Starborn Fae settled in Midgard underwent massive changes and significant loss of fertile land. I don’t think that’s a coincidence when their former home underwent similar changes.” 

“The Prison island…” Your voice trailed off as Hunt nodded, a soft approving smile on his face.

“I told you she was smart,” Ruhn boasted. “Hunt and I came to the same conclusion. Something caused the islands to become barren.”

“Well according to that magical hologram Silene left, the land was reduced to its waste land status after she made it into the prison,” Bryce added. “A collection of nasties poisoning all traces of life apart from themselves.” You felt the gears turning in your mind. It was hard to argue that both islands would become practically devoid of life around the same time by chance. The list of potential reasons was endless. Anything from a saturation of dark energy to a specific spell to a lack of magic entirely. You also speculated that perhaps Midgard and whatever planet you were currently occupying were mirrors or alternative versions of each other. Though, there was more evidence that both worlds were part of the same universe rather than some type of multiverse bullshit. A confirmation of the existence of a multiverse was not quite on your bingo card for expected life experiences. Then again, neither was going through a magical portal and landing in a world that you- 

“Bryce, you need to take me to the Prison island again.” You turned to face her fully. “Please. I don’t care what Rhysand says, I need to see the island and those tunnel carvings for myself.” The half-fae female looked at you, her eyes studying the determination on your face. 

“Alright,” Bryce’s conspiratorial smile returned. You knew that she enjoyed any opportunity to piss off the High Lord. “When do you want to leave? We can even go right now if you want.” She stood from her spot on the couch.  

“Oh no,” Ruhn immediately stated, also standing from his spot next to you on the couch. “You’re not going by yourselves.” 

“I agree,” Hunt looked at Bryce. “I know that you’ve been down there several times now, but you’ve made the Drop and you’re a badass, but…(Y/N) is human.” He softened his eyes as he looked at you. 

“Are you Alphaholes for fucking real?” Bryce scoffed, hands immediately going to her hips. “She has daily training with two 500 year old warriors AND the two of you. You really think that she’s not a badass in her own right by now?” Despite Bryce’s faith in your self-defense skills you knew Hunt was right. Your eyes met Hunt’s, his expression reflecting what you knew was true. You may be able to defend yourself in some scenarios, but your body couldn’t heal itself in the same way if you were to get injured. The chances of you surviving any major injury were significantly smaller. However, the reminder that you were simply a fragile human stung nonetheless. 

“Yeah, I am being ‘for real’,” Ruhn met his sister’s glare. “We have no idea what kind of creatures are in the prison. We also don’t exactly know our way around apart from a single path down to that room leading to the tunnels.” Bryce rolled her eyes. 

“Well I can’t teleport more than two others plus myself. So unless you’ve managed to finally learn long distance travel through your shadows you might be stuck here as look out Big bro,” Her smile was less than friendly.  

“She needs protection Bryce, and no offense to Hunt, but if she went down he’s more likely to protect you than her,” Ruhn looked at the angel. You watched in silence as the two males just stared at each other. The two of them were clearly having a mind to mind conversation. 

“You know it's rude to have a private conversation in front of others,” You quipped, trying to help ease the tension from before. You turned and started to make your way to the staircase. “I’m going to get a warmer coat so the two of you had better figure out who's going with us by the time I get back.” 

General tag list: @loving-and-dreaming

Series tag list: @jenniferpendragon @impossibelle @sweet-chai-amore @myheartfollower @iimichie

@fightmedraco @nikkitch0703 @eerievixen @ang-taylorsversion

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[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him. 

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor. 

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side. 

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription. 

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that. 

“I��m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.” 

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.” 

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.” 

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt. 

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.” 

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans. 

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.” 

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.” 

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple. 

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers. 

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers. 

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in. 

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him. 

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants. 

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

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[ms-demeanor]

Going off that post about nutrition and science, I'd love to hear what you think of the 5:2 diet/The Fast 800 and its creator, Dr. Michael Mosley. For context: in order to get an NHS-funded breast reduction (it's a gender thing, but also just a general quality-of-life thing), I need to be a certain BMI, so I've been referred to a weight management clinic. The lady I've been seeing initially just put me on a low-carb diet (130g or less of carbs per day, with an aside from her about how bullshit Keto and BMI limits for treatment are), but now she's said that, if I wanted to speed up the weight loss, I should include the 5:2 diet: 5 days in a week where I eat "normally", and 2 fast days in which I restrict myself to 800kcals. I did a little looking into it myself, and found that 5:2 - which I HAD heard about before - is now being sold as part of "The Fast 800", with Dr. Mosley being the creator of it. I was shocked by that, because I was already a fan of Dr. Mosley's work (he has a podcast called "Just One Thing" that I really liked, and thought contained reasonable-sounding advice), and yet having a diet plan that he's clearly making money off of does immediately make me feel suspicious. I've borrowed his "The Fast 800" book from the library, both to find out more about the diet I've been put on and to see if it's at all backed by evidence, and he does cite a bunch of scientific studies which seem to back up his ideas, but I don't know how valid they are, and I don't just want to accept them at face-value (especially since he's a "we got fat completely wrong in the 80s, therefore we should eat a Mediterranean diet!" types). Obviously I'll go with what my weight management lady suggests, since she's obviously more qualified to talk about it than I am, but I am curious to know what you think, and whether I'm right to be distrustful of all of this.

I am, generally speaking, against any diet for rapid weight loss. They're not sustainable so people gain the weight back (often with more weight getting added on).

There have also recently been findings that suggest that BMI cutoffs for top surgery are detrimental to patients as patients in higher BMI categories are more likely to have minor complications like UTIs or to be readmitted, but are not likely to have major complications or be at risk of significant harm from having top surgery. I don't know if anybody will listen if you bring up that study, and I know that GCS is fraught in many places for many reasons.

I'm also just.

I'm so mad. I'm so fucking mad! I'm so mad about this!

One of my best friends is a guy who was pressured into a pattern of disordered eating and unhealthy exercise in order to qualify for top surgery; since then he has not been able to eat in a healthy way and has struggled with alternating between exercising to the point of harm and other destructive behaviors that make him unhappy and unsafe. And he didn't need that. He didn't need any of that! He needed a very safe surgery that had perhaps a slightly higher risk of minor complications at his size and instead he got top surgery and an eating disorder! I hate it! I'm so fucking mad about it!

Also as near as I can tell Michael Mosley qualified as a psychiatrist in the 90s, spent very little time working as a psychiatrist, and then became a media personality. From what is visible on his website and every biography I've found for him he apparently doesn't have any background in nutrition beyond whatever is standard for someone in medical school (which is NOT MUCH).

Hey I just looked at his website and this is straight-up fucked up.

Anybody recommending an 800 calorie a day diet for 2-12 weeks in a context that is not heavily medically supervised can fucking choke. That is *ridiculously* dangerous and the website says that this can improve insulin resistance but there are a shitload of studies about people on crash diets like this *developing* insulin resistance (oh hey like my friend who became prediabetic after his rapid significant weight loss).

Also in regard to the studies he cites on the website, the "two years later patients are still going strong in their diabetes improvements" it's really important to put shit like that in context

at 5 years 13% of the original intervention group were in remission from their type two diabetes; the average weight loss experienced by the intervention group as a whole was 6.1kg compared to 4.6kg in the control group. That's 1.5kg lower for the people who went through a twelve week medically supervised very low calorie diet compared. That's an average difference of 3.3 pounds between "starvation diet" and "no diet" for the Americans in the audience.

Yours is the second comment I've seen that has been leery of the Mediterranean diet, btw, and the Mediterranean diet is fine. It's very achievable and not super gimmicky and is based on very reasonable reassessments of fat, not the hardcore "you are fine to eat 100g of fat a day" kind of attitude that you get from the keto crew. There isn't really one Mediterranean diet and it certainly isn't low carb (which the bits from Mosely's website seem to indicate it is).

So, no, honestly I don't think much of Mosely and I'm very sorry you're in this situation, that sucks and I hate that they're refusing you treatment until you undergo an exceptionally difficult and potentially harmful weight loss excursion.

I know you're probably stuck with that and it's bullshit and I think it fucking sucks and unfortunately the medical advice you're likely to get is "eat in a significantly disordered manner at least until it is time for surgery" and it blows. That just fucking sucks.

If you're looking for rapid weight loss that you don't plan to sustain (and you shouldn't plan to sustain it, it won't stay off) you may want to look into body building forums for how they discuss cuts. It's still disordered eating and it's still not healthy, but at least they're effective and can tell you what supplements will keep you from becoming malnourished while you prepare for surgery. This is a terrible idea. I don't actually want to give this advice to anyone but bodybuilders are the exact kind of people who know how far and how fast they can push weight loss while having an awareness that it isn't really good for them and it won't stay off.

I cannot overstate enough how much I hate the thought that people are being encouraged to rapidly starve themselves in order to prepare to recover from surgery. I am so sorry and I'm so mad and

[feasibilities]

Professional Perversions- Dr. Jonathan Crane x Psychiatrist!Reader ♟️

Warnings: Blackmail, Non-Con, Workplace Harassment, Degradation, Stalking, Dacryphilia, Oral Sex (F), Slapping, Overstimulation, etc. Author's Note: Jonathan is a villain so I wrote him as such. Read at your own risk!

Working at Arkham Asylum for the last 5 years meant that you worked with the criminally insane daily. You were a listening ear to the sadistic fantasies or childhood trauma of your patients. You also prescribed medication that they never bothered to take. More often than not, your patients were repeat offenders who were discharged far too early. You couldn’t understand why this kept happening and recommended institutionalizing them for longer periods. Your complaints fell on deaf, unsympathetic ears. Such is the nature of working for the state. You were at the mercy of bureaucracy. 

Your supervisor, Dr. Jonathan Crane, seemed to enjoy compounding the stress of your job. He was Chief Administrator of the asylum, so there was no way to bypass his antagonistic behavior. He would often assign you with assessing difficult, violent patients. Your medical notes on these assessments came back with harsh criticisms in red ink. He would never answer calls or emails from you, so you’d have to chase him down while he was doing his daily walkthrough. During weekly meetings, he would chastise you in front of your colleagues. It was the little things as well. He’d let the elevator doors close on you or reject your attempts to make small talk. Your days ended later than everyone else’s—and with you sobbing in your car. 

— 

Please come to my office as soon as possible. We have some important matters to discuss. 

Dr. Jonathan Crane 

Chief Administrator of Arkham Asylum 

555-9240

Dread pooled in your stomach as you read the email. What could you have done? Naturally, you assumed the worst—you were about to be fired. Being terminated from a government job would mean you couldn’t get hired anywhere else in Gotham. Jonathan obviously wouldn’t put in a good word for a prospective position. Wanting to get this over with quickly, you made your way to his office. Knocking politely, he answered you from behind the door with the gold-plated sign that read ‘Chief Administrator’.

“Come in.” He said plainly. 

You came in and looked around briefly. His office was luxurious compared to yours. His Ph.D degree hung on the wall above a mahogany shelf of awards and plaques. The chairs were plush and made of leather. The whiteboard was filled with equations that made no sense to you, adding to your feelings of inadequacy. 

“If you’re done gawking at my accomplishments, please take a seat.” Jonathan criticized. You quickly sat down and sighed in annoyance.  

“As you know, I have had some concerns about your competency regarding this job. Your patients haven’t shown any progress. They also continue to report suicidal or homicidal tendencies.” Jonathan admonished you, waiting for a response. 

“My competency is not the issue, but rather the competency of my superiors. Patients can’t progress if you discharge them prematurely. These people need help reintegrating into society. You cannot just throw them out onto the street.” You retorted, growing frustrated already. 

Jonathan’s eyes focused on you intently. You saw a faint smirk flash across his face before retreating back into the same sterile expression. 

“I follow the orders of my superiors. You can submit a complaint if you are dissatisfied with our procedures.” Jonathan countered. 

“As do I. I’ve submitted several complaints and nothing has come of them. You find the time to punish me for the smallest mistakes, but you couldn’t find the time to consider my input? Your competence, or lack thereof, is the reason why this hospital has the highest recidivism rate in the city.” You argued. 

Jonathan swallowed harshly and clenched his jaw. His stark blue eyes were filled with hatred. For you, this was payback for all the times he lambasted you. It was humorous that someone who was so critical of others couldn’t handle it when the shoe was on the other foot. You also had no problem filing a lawsuit for wrongful termination as you had a paper trail on him. You feared him no longer. 

Removing his wireframe glasses, he walked to the front of the desk and stood over you. Uncomfortably close, he stared down at you.

“Fear is such a fascinating feeling, isn’t it? You know that better than anyone.” He teased.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You spat, growing tired of his odd behavior. 

“Every mental health professional that works here is required to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. You were asked what your biggest fear was—are you afraid of being stalked?” Jonathan explained, leaning in even closer. 

Sick to your stomach, you turned away from him and tears brimmed your eyes. He grabbed your chin and forced your gaze towards him. 

“Isn’t it so sick that someone knows your morning and nightly routine? Your favorite perfume? The kind of panties you’re wearing right now?” Jonathan remarked, getting off on your distress. 

You could’ve died of humiliation as you stared up at him. You finally understood why he treated you so poorly—it was a front to hide his obsession with you. During those contentious moments, he wasn’t thinking of how “incompetent” you were. Obscene images of you bent over his desk or you touching yourself in the shower were there. To his benefit, he caught you in the shower one night when you left the shades open. You realized why you found a soiled handkerchief in the bushes the next morning. 

“Why me? What could I possibly do for you?” You croaked, trying not to provoke him. 

“Everything I could ever want.” Jonathan divulged, brushing his thumb against your lips and smudging your lipstick. 

You started thinking of your escape plan. Maybe kick him in the balls and run? Stab him with one of his expensive pens? Before you could take action, he bent down and kissed you deeply. You tried to pull him away, but to no avail. His plump lips caused that familiar twinge in your lower stomach. He ran his large hands up your stocking-covered legs before stopping at your garter belts. He kneaded the exposed flesh there, earning an unintended whimper from you. This emboldened him as he moved his lips to your neck. 

“T-this isn’t right.” You sputtered as you tried to ignore the moisture between your legs. 

“You want this. You always have.” He whispered, moving his hand up further. Your body’s response to his actions made you question your sanity. Jonathan suddenly pulled you up from the chair and laid you on his desk. He undid your garter belts with an almost surgical precision. Hiking up your dress, he stared at the black lacy panties that adorned your cunt. He pulled the material aside and studied the glistening of your arousal. You had the perfect opportunity to claw his eyes out and bolt out of the office. However, you sat there wanting him to finish what he started. 

Jonathan ran his nose down your thigh as he took in your scent. Sliding the lacy material aside once more, he began flicking his tongue against your sensitive floret. Not being able to look away, you took in the visual of your despicable supervisor going down on you. His gaze was no longer sterile—it took on a marked concupiscence. Suddenly, you felt him press his face into you. He sucked harshly, causing you to moan loudly. He buried his nose in the trimmed tuft of your pubic hair. 

“Stop it.” You pled, knowing you wanted the opposite. 

Disregarding your objections, he slipped two fingers inside of you and curled them upwards. Pumping his fingers steadily, another low groan came from him as he reveled in the sapidity of your juices. You yanked at his hair to stop him before you came. You were much too late. You let out an untamed moan as Jonathan watched you fall apart. Your vision went white as your orgasm sent shockwaves through your body. He lazily lapped at your clit as you came down from your high. Removing his fingers, he put them in your mouth. You mindlessly suckled on them. 

“The human mind is so malleable, isn’t it?” Jonathan said. Your humiliation ran deep at his words. You were like putty in his hands and you resented it. He began removing your dress while you looked away from him. Tears started to fall from your eyes as you knew what was to come. Jonathan groped your breasts through your bra and placed your hand on his clothed crotch. His erection was beginning to hurt as he had it since you walked in his office. You felt him throb in your palm. 

“You look so beautiful when you cry. All those times you spent sobbing in your car really did something to me…” Jonathan divulged, undoing your bra and taking in the sight. 

“You don’t have to do this. Just fire me, please.” You agonized. 

“Shhh.” Jonathan hushed you. 

“Don’t hush me. I’m not a child.” You complained. 

Jonathan took a ball gag from his pocket and put it on you. Laying you back on the desk, Jonathan yanked your hips towards him until you were flush against his. Unbuckling his pants, he pulled himself out and sighed in relief. Pre-ejaculate oozed from the tip and he was red hot to the touch. You were astonished at his size. You blinked away tears thinking of the pain you were about to experience. You tried to scoot away before he snatched you back. Growing tired of your insolence, he slapped you roughly. 

“Behave.” Jonathan warned. A searing burn was left on your cheek. Sliding into you, he started thrusting with bestial force. Your breasts moved with each thrust as Jonathan lost himself in your pink depths. Wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible, you decided to play his game. You started rubbing your clit fervently and trying to moan his name through the gag. Noticing your reaction, Jonathan pinched your nipple harshly and deepened his thrusts. You mewled at the sensation. 

“This is all you wanted, didn’t you? A good screwing?” Jonathan hissed, watching white slick cover his shaft. You nodded and breathed heavily as you came once more. Skin hitting skin, the squelch of your arousal, and your desperate whimpers were like music to his ears. As much as you hated him, you couldn’t deny how gorgeous a fucked-out Jonathan looked. His face was twisted in pleasure, eyes fluttering closed occasionally. His taut lips pursed intermittently to hold back moans. 

His thrusts started to stagger as he approached his climax. Pulling out, ropes of seed shot onto your torso. An audible groan of pleasure finally left his throat. He made sure to smear droplets of it against your entrance. You recoiled at the thought of getting pregnant by him. He would have you forever. 

“Let’s savor this moment, shall we?” Jonathan smiled, pulling out his phone. Tears welled up in your eyes as he snapped pictures of your body. Holding your throat tenderly, he took one last photo of your face. Those pictures would be kept for his personal collection—and for blackmail if you ever decided to quit. You painstakingly got dressed and bit your lip to hold back sobs. A silent exchange of glances happened between you and Jonathan before you walked out of his office. 

[calware]

post about me. i added pictures to keep it interesting

i've had a problem for most of my life that i'm currently visualizing as a gray dorito poking into me. it's frustrating, inconvenient, difficult to deal with, and overall makes everything suck a little. many people have told me that this problem is most likely adhd, such as my therapist in high school who said it was "textbook." unfortunately, she was just a therapist, not a psychiatrist, and therefore wasn't actually qualified to diagnose me with anything. this was in 2021 when there were no child psychiatrists in my area accepting new patients (thanks, covid), so instead my doctor gave me a few adhd meds at differing doses to see if any of them stuck (i had literally no reaction to Any of them) and the whole thing went nowhere

so, is the problem actually adhd? i'm an adult now and could pay several hundred dollars (of my parent's money) to get a proper test, but it would make no difference as my issues would not be solved by adhd medication (maybe. i'm worried i somehow messed it up) or any form of accommodations. i don't want to ask my parents to pay for something that likely won't have much impact (and my mom wouldn't be fully convinced anyway. both parents are pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me). i want to know, but the time and money don't justify it. so the best solution i have is to keep going, keep learning which lifestyle changes to make and how to "work smarter". i'll be okay. and i say that with sincerity

whoops, forgot my glasses here. this is another gray dorito-shaped problem, only this one is much smaller. i rarely notice it, and when i do, it's superficial. it's only gotten genuinely bad twice in my life. it's my paranoia, obsessiveness, and, on occasion, compulsions that follow those obsessions. now, i know what you're thinking, which is that it kind of sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. frankly, from my understanding, my issue is so negligible that it doesn't qualify as OCD. like i said, it barely affects me. it still bothers me that it's there, though. i do my best to deal with it, letting my thoughts pass as they come to me and not trying not to give into/breaking out of compulsions, but i just don't want it there at all

this is another thing i could see a therapist about, but does a problem this small really justify the time and expenses of seeing a professional? not in my case (not for me, at least. don't apply this to your own problems if you genuinely want to seek professional help)

i have a goal to have enough disposable income later in life to justify paying a scientist to pick through my brain for my own amusement. because, despite no substantial foreseeable improvements to my mental health after getting a psych evaluation, i still find the idea to be really exciting. i have a strong desire to understand how my mind works, how my brain ticks, why i am the person i am. that's how i know that if i ever played sburb, id have the heart aspect (that's right. you thought that this was just a personal post on my homestuck blog that had nothing to do with homestuck. do you really think i would do that? make off-topic posts solely about me on a homestuck blog? look, i even remembered to draw my glasses this time and i made them homestuck glasses. because i care about you guys) and i am vain and self-centered enough to desperately want someone with a phd to talk about me for an hour. and no, i don't need a therapist to tell me why that is, i already figured that one out allllll on my own

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL’S BEACH࿐ྂ KUROKAWA IZANA x f!oc x SANO MANJIRO

BONUS — sugar baby bunny

chapter summary: how Maya's first day on the job would have gone if she had been nosy or, Izana and his sugar baby bunny

chapter warnings: dark content 18+, inaccurate depictions of psychiatric hospitals and medical treatment/conditions, canon typical violence, gang activity, dehumanization, drug addiction(c*caine), drug addiction recovery, drug withdrawals, withdrawal symptoms, abuse of power, murder, non-graphic torture, blood and gore, panic attack, blackmail, alcohol, slight sugar baby-sugar daddy dynamic, suggestive themes, possessiveness, gold digger!oc, guns, vomiting, threats, very fast-paced, making out, kissing, implied smut, suggestive themes, slight bondage, implied virginity loss, collaring(?), open ending, not edited

word count: 20 493

masterlist | previous

Izana stares up and down at his new doctor in charge of the night shift. She's young. Wearing blue scrubs and a white doctor's coat on top and sneakers on her feet. Her long curly black hair is clipped behind her head with a black claw clip. She's got pale skin, delicate features and light freckles and is looking at him with these big blue eyes. How cute. Honestly speaking he was expecting another old lady. "Kaneko... Maya..." He reads off her ID badge clipped onto the breast pocket of her white coat

She's holding a tray of food which is dinner, a few shorter stray curly strands falling in front of her eyes. Cute. "Yes... That's me" She says with a soft smile and places the tray of food in front of him "I'm the new psychiatrist in charge of the night shift"

Izana watches her every move and then smiles at her. "Nice to meet you, Doctor Kaneko, I'm Kurokawa Izana" He scans her up and down again "You're quite... young... how old are you?"

"22" she answers without hesitation

Oh. She was young. "Just out of college, I'm assuming doctor"

Maya nods. She's cute. Izana can't help but think she reminds him of a little bunny. Izana leans forward, his gaze lingering on Maya as he studies her intently. "So, Maya," he says, his voice smooth and curious, "what brings a young, bright thing like you to a place like this?"

Maya's eyes widen in surprise at the question, caught off guard by Izana's sudden interest in her. She fidgets with the edge of her coat, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Oh, um, well," she stammers, unsure of how much to reveal, "student loans... and no one wants to hire a fresh graduate"

Izana can't help but notice the nervousness in Maya's demeanour, her vulnerability only adding to her charm in his eyes. He leans back in his chair, a playful glint dancing in his gaze as he listens to her response. "Ah, the ol' student loans trap," he remarks with a mock sympathetic smile that she catches easily "I've heard that story one too many times."

Most of the sugar babies Ran, Rindo and the other guys had were with them for that exact reason. Student loans. Maya sure seemed like sugar baby material. She was cute and young. Seemed pretty sweet and the clingy type as well. "At least there is no interest" Maya says with a little laugh, clearly trying to appear more welcoming

But Maya didn't need to seem welcoming. Her pretty face was enough for Izana to feel captivated. Izana chuckles softly at Maya's attempt to lighten the mood, her laughter ringing like music to his ears. He watches her closely, his gaze lingering on her delicate features, the way her eyes sparkle with warmth and kindness. "You have a point there, Doctor," he replies, his tone smooth and velvety, "but sometimes, the cost of those loans can be much higher than we anticipate."

Maya's smile falters slightly at his words, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. She senses something beneath Izana's charming facade, something dark and dangerous, but she pushes the thought aside, unwilling to dwell on it. "Oh well. At least I'm not unemployed" She says

It's cute. She's so cute. Fucking adorable.

Maya leaves not too long later as she needs to collect the trays from the other patients and is called by the hospital director for something. Izana watches her go with a predatory gleam in his eyes. He can't deny the allure of her innocence, the way she carries herself with such naivety. But beneath that veneer of sweetness lies a vulnerability that Izana finds all too enticing. He pictures her as a bunny, a creature of soft fur and wide, innocent eyes, navigating the treacherous terrain of the psychiatric hospital with a naivety that both intrigues and enraptures him. As Izana sits alone in the suffocating silence of the room, shadows swallowing the corners, his fixation on Maya grows into something more sinister. She exists in his mind like a fragile doll, her innocence a tempting facade that belies the darkness lurking beneath. It was funny. He's meeting her for the first time today and he already can't get enough. "shit" he says, laughing a little to himself like he was a schizophrenic

As Izana reflects on his current situation, memories of Mikey's stern words echo in his mind. Mikey, his little brother, had always been the voice of reason, the one who urged Izana to confront his demons head-on. And Kakucho, their trusted ally, had echoed Mikey's sentiments, pushing Izana to seek treatment for his addiction. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, the realization that even someone as powerful as Izana was not immune to the clutches of addiction. But Mikey had been adamant: addictions were a weakness, a stain on their family's honour that could not be tolerated.

So here he was, confined within the walls of Sunshine Grove, stripped of his power and reduced to nothing more than a patient in need of treatment. It was a humbling experience, one that forced Izana to confront the demons that had long haunted him. It had been a total of a month since he was admitted here. It hadn't been bad... It was just the fucking medication that was the problem. He stares down his left arm with the iv in it. Apparently whatever medication was being given to him was essential to his recovery but he really fuckin' hated it. He felt like actual shit. Tired all the time, sleepy as shit. He hated it.

Oh well. At least now he had a pretty doctor to look at. He can't help but smirk at the thought of Maya, her presence a welcome respite from the sterile walls and clinical atmosphere of the hospital. Despite his initial reservations, there's something about her that intrigues him, something that stirs within him a sense of forbidden desire. As Izana waits for Maya to enter the room, he finds himself lost in thoughts of her, his mind conjuring images of her delicate features and gentle demeanour. It's a dangerous game he's playing, allowing himself to be drawn to someone like her. But it's fine. he figures. Sooner or later, Maya comes back for his tray, holding an IV bag in one hand. A replacement for the empty one he's connected to. As she's setting it up it looks like Maya wants to ask him something. "you look like you want to say something" Izana says

Maya pauses in her task, her brows furrowing slightly as if she's debating whether or not to voice her thoughts. Izana watches her closely, the smirk still lingering on his lips as he anticipates her response. Finally, Maya sighs softly, her gaze meeting Izana's with a mixture of uncertainty and determination. "I couldn't help but notice," she begins hesitantly, her voice soft but steady "Your file that they gave had a lot of things blocked off... Is there a reason for it?"

Izana cocks his head. "things like what?"

Maya hesitates, her lips parting as if she's unsure how much to reveal. "Well," she begins cautiously, her gaze drifting to the floor before returning to meet Izana's, "it's just... your medical history, for one. It's heavily redacted, and there are some notes about your background that seem... unusual. And also for the thing you're here for"

Izana's eyebrows raised in mock surprise, though inwardly he was amused by Maya's curiosity. "You don't know what I'm here for? But you're my psychiatrist"

Maya flushes slightly at the implication, her cheeks tinted with a faint blush as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, yes," she admits reluctantly, "but... they haven't exactly been forthcoming with the details. It's... unusual, to say the least."

Izana's smile widens at Maya's response, a sense of satisfaction coursing through him. It's clear that Maya is out of her depth, her curiosity piqued by the mystery surrounding his presence in the psychiatric hospital. But as he watches her squirm under his gaze, Izana can't help but feel a pang of guilt tugging at his conscience. Maya may be just a pawn in his game, but she's also a human being with her own fears and vulnerabilities. Pushing aside his misgivings, Izana leans back in his chair, his smile morphing into a more reassuring expression. She won't judge him. She's probably encountered many people like himself here who were probably in worse condition. "cocaine addiction" he tells her

Maya's nerves are palpable, her hands trembling as she struggles to maintain her composure in the face of Izana's questioning gaze. She swallows hard, her throat dry as she searches for the right words to say. "So... You're not a convicted criminal?" she asks tentatively, her voice barely above a whisper.

Izana's eyes narrow slightly at her question, a flicker of irritation crossing his features. He may not be a convicted criminal, but that doesn't mean he's innocent. Still, there's no need for Maya to know that. "No, and why does that relate to this?" he responds, his voice firm and commanding.

Maya's stomach churns at his response, her mind racing with a thousand different thoughts. She knows she's treading on dangerous ground, but she can't help but feel a sense of obligation to uncover the truth. "The second floor is where patients admitted for addiction stay," she explains, her voice trembling slightly, "you're on the fourth floor, where the convicted criminals who claimed insanity are housed."

The realization hits Izana like a ton of bricks, his anger simmering just beneath the surface as Maya's words sink in. He clenches his jaw, his fists tightening at his sides as he struggles to maintain his composure. "Oh," he mutters through gritted teeth, his gaze fixed on Maya's trembling form.

She looks like she might be sick, and Izana's frustration only grows at the sight. Without a word, Maya reaches into her pocket and retrieves a piece of gauze, her hands shaking as she gently places it over the insertion site of Izana's IV. He watches her silently, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that sends a shiver down her spine. As Maya begins to remove the IV, applying pressure to the wound as she withdraws the catheter, Izana remains silent, his mind swirling with a mixture of anger and disbelief. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was here for addiction. Not because he got caught. So why was he on the third floor? "Keep pressure on it for a few minutes," Maya mumbles as she finishes dressing the wound, her voice barely above a whisper.

Izana nods curtly, his eyes never leaving Maya's retreating form as she gathers her things and prepares to leave the room. But before she can make her escape, Izana's voice cuts through the silence like a knife. "Doctor... If this is what I think it is..." he begins slowly, his words hanging in the air like a threat.

But Maya shakes her head, her eyes wide with fear as she hurries out of the room, leaving Izana alone with his thoughts. He stares at the closed door for a moment, his mind racing with possibilities, before reaching for his flip phone and dialling Kisaki's number.

As the line rings, Izana can't help but feel himself get angry.

Someone had to pay.

How Maya ended up back in Izana's room after that was beyond her. She's pressed into the side of an older man with slicked-back purple hair and black highlights. He forces her to keep looking ahead as the hospital director and the nurse in charge of this floor are tortured. Maya isn't able to speak or even move. The man holding her isn't doing so in a painful way nor is he being mean. Rather he's being an odd mixture of condescending and sweet. "I'm Haitani Ran by the way" He says as if they met at some coffee shop "I'm Izana's childhood friend. We met in juvie"

Fucking figures.

Maya's blood runs cold at the revelation, her mind racing with the implications of what she's just heard. She swears she's heard his name from Chifuyu before whenever he talked to Kazutora about the recent news of the Tokyo Manji Gang. Had Maya really gotten herself caught up with Japan's most ruthless gang?

No way. No fucking way.

In front of her by the bed, Izana is putting on a new set of clothes, changing out of the hospital uniform like nothing is happening. Ran chuckles as he watches Izana change, his gaze briefly darting towards Maya before returning to his friend. "You know," he says, his tone light but with a hint of mischief, "your little doctor is quite adorable. Think we could keep her around?"

Izana lets out a hearty laugh, a grin spreading across his face as he meets Ran's gaze. "You're kidding, right?" he replies, his amusement evident in his voice but then he hums and looks at Maya up and down as if contemplating something "Well she is pretty..."

Maya shifts uncomfortably under Izana's scrutiny, feeling increasingly like an object rather than a person. The air around them feels charged with tension, and Maya can't shake the feeling that she's become the subject of some kind of twisted game between Izana and his friend. Ran's chuckle breaks the uneasy silence, but Maya can't help but feel a sense of unease lingering in the pit of her stomach. Izana is buttoning up his shirt while a guy with a scar across his face is beating the hospital director's face in and walks over, looking up and down at her. "I have to say, I was contemplating whether or not you should be on the floor with them..." Izana gestures to the hospital director and the nurse on the bloody floor "But today is your first day, yeah doctor?"

Izana cups her cheeks and Ran lets go of her. He's staring down at her with this crazed, almost obsessive look in his eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong after all... You came and told me right away what was wrong" Izana speaks to her the same way one would talk to a child

Izana's fingers linger on Maya's cheek, his touch sending a shiver down her spine as she struggles to maintain her composure. She can feel his gaze tracing every contour of her face, his eyes drinking in every detail with an unsettling intensity. "You have such a pretty face, doctor," Izana murmurs, his voice low and seductive. "It would be a shame to see it tarnished..."

Her breath gets stuck in her throat. Maya thinks she might either throw up, faint or die of cardiac arrest. She's nervous and scared and doesn't know what is going to happen to her. The hospital director was trying to exact revenge on Izana due to something. She wasn't really listening. Maya didn't know. She didn't care. Right now, she was terrified and unable to think about anything else. Unable to tear her gaze away from Izana's intense stare, Maya feels a sense of vulnerability wash over her. His words linger in the air, suffocating her with their weight, and she struggles to find her voice amidst the chaos unfolding around them. The hospital director's screams echo in her ears, a grim reminder of the danger lurking just beyond the walls of Sunshine Grove. Maya knows she's in over her head, caught in the crossfire of a world far darker and more sinister than she ever could have imagined. As Izana's fingers trail down her cheek, Maya flinches involuntarily, her skin prickling with unease. She can sense the power he holds over her, his presence casting a shadow over her every thought and action. "tell you what, hm... You're clearly a good doctor... Honest... Sweet—"

"easy on the eyes" Ran butts in, cutting off Izana

Maya's cheeks flush with embarrassment, her pulse pounding in her ears as she struggles to maintain her composure. She knows she's caught in the middle of something far beyond her control but she needs to keep calm. Izana glares at Ran then looks at Maya again. "How about, in exchange for you being the sweetest doctor ever... You work for me and I spare your life" Izana says

She opens her mouth to speak, to assert herself, but no words come out. Instead, she finds herself gasping for air, her vision blurring as her heart races uncontrollably. It's as if the walls of the room are closing in on her, suffocating her with their oppressive weight. As Maya's panic intensifies, her knees buckle beneath her, threatening to send her crashing to the floor. In a swift motion, Izana reaches out, his strong arms wrapping around her to steady her trembling form. His touch is cold and unwelcome, sending a shiver of fear down Maya's spine. With Izana's support, Maya struggles to remain upright, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as she fights to regain control of her body. She feels utterly powerless, trapped in the suffocating grip of her own fear. Izana's grip tightens around her, his touch suffocating and possessive. Izana's arms wrapped around her, his touch cold and unwelcome against her skin. "You're trembling, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. "Are you afraid of me?"

Maya struggles to form coherent words, her mind a whirlwind of confusion and terror. "I-I..." she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't have to be afraid, sweetheart," Izana coos, his voice dripping with false sweetness. "I'm not going to hurt you... unless you give me a reason to."

Maya's heart races in her chest, her pulse thundering in her ears as she struggles to comprehend the gravity of her predicament. Ran is laughing at the whole scene. Her panic is something amusing to them. "Aniki, I think Kakucho killed the guy" another guy with purple hair styled in a mullet says and Ran looks over

"My bad..." Kakucho mutters "I got carried away"

Izana turns his head to see the mess on the floor but Maya doesn't look. She really doesn't want to but clearly, Izana doesn't share that same sentiment and forces her to look. Izana's gaze locks onto Maya's, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that sends shivers down her spine. "Do you want that to be you?" he asks, his voice low and menacing, as if daring her to defy him.

Maya's breath catches in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest as she struggles to find the words to respond. Fear grips her tightly, its icy fingers wrapping around her throat and squeezing the air from her lungs. "I-I..." Maya's voice falters, her words barely audible above the chaos surrounding them.

She wants to scream, to beg for mercy, but the words die on her lips, suffocated by the weight of her fear. Izana's grip tightens around her, his touch sending a jolt of terror coursing through her veins. "Answer me, bunny," he growls, his voice laced with menace. "Do you want to end up like them?"

With a frantic shake of her head, Maya manages to whisper, "N-No..."

Everyone in the room is looking at her. She feels panicked. Maya wants to go home. She wants to go back to her bed. Never did she think that her first day on her job would be like this. How the fuck did she end up surrounded by members of the Tokyo Manji Gang? Izana's lips curl into a mocking smile, his eyes gleaming with amusement at Maya's distress. "Oh, bunny, I didn't realize you were so sensitive," he taunts, his voice dripping with condescension. "But don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you... as long as you play nice."

There is a short moment of silence before the guy with glasses, Kisaki, is calling someone and Kakucho is cleaning his hands of all the blood. "Tell me you agree and you'll live" Izana murmurs, continuing to force her to look at the dead body of her former boss and the nurse in charge of the 4th floor

Maya's heart pounds in her chest as she struggles to process the surreal situation unfolding around her. The weight of Izana's words hangs heavy in the air, filling her with a sense of dread, unlike anything she's ever experienced before. She feels a surge of panic rising within her, threatening to consume her entirely. All she wants is to escape, to run far away from this nightmare and never look back. But as she looks around the room and sees the hardened expressions of Izana's associates, she knows that there's no way out. With a trembling voice, Maya manages to whisper, "O-Okay"

Izana's smirk widens at her plea, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good girl" he purrs, his tone laced with malice.

"Keep calm, sweetheart," Ran interjects, his voice surprisingly gentle. "We don't wanna have to knock you out."

With a trembling breath, Maya tries to steady herself, her hands shaking as she clutches onto the edge of the nearby table for support. She can feel the weight of their gazes bearing down on her, each one filled with a different shade of menace and intrigue. Izana's eyes linger on her, his smirk morphing into a predatory grin. "You're doing well, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice dripping with false praise. "Just remember to play nice, and everything will be fine."

Maya nods weakly, her stomach churning with unease. So she's led out of the hospital and into a car worth just as much as the student loans she has to pay off and they take her home. "I'm sure you know calling the police will be embarrassing," Rindo tells her as they stand in front of her door "so unless you're interested in embarrassing yourself, go ahead"

Maya's heart sank as Rindo's words hit her like a cold splash of water. She knows he's right. "Rindo be a little nicer" Kakucho mutters to him

Rindo shoots Kakucho a glare before turning back to Maya with a forced smile. "Sorry about that, sweetheart," he says, his tone slightly less abrasive "We're just trying to avoid any unnecessary complications. You understand, right?"

Maya is fiddling with the sleeve of her white coat, unable to do anything but nod. "get some rest, we'll be in contact" Kakucho says

The next morning, Maya gets an email that all her loans have been paid in full.

"tiny" Izana says as he barged into her house alongside Kakucho hours later

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Maya manages to stammer out, her voice trembling with nerves.

Izana's grin widens, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "We just wanted to make sure you got our little gift," he says, his tone almost playful. "And to see if you're settling into your new life nicely. Your loans have been paid"

Maya's in loungewear, sweatpants and an oversized shirt. She's trembling. Oh how grateful she was that she showered already. "Y-You paid them?" She asks, watching as Izana looks at the array of picture frames on one of her walls

Izana's grin remained, his eyes still alight with mischief as he turned back to her. "Of course," he replied, his tone almost nonchalant. "Consider it a token of our appreciation for your cooperation... And of course, we're buying your silence too if you couldn't tell"

Maya's heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to process the implications of his words. She knew she was entangled in something far beyond her control, a web of danger and deceit spun by Izana and his associates. "I-I don't know what to say," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Izana's grin widened, his demeanour almost mocking. "No need to thank us, bunny," he said, his tone dripping with condescension. "Just remember who's looking out for you now."

Izana's gaze swept across Maya's living room as if he owned the place, his expression filled with casual entitlement. He wandered around, examining the decor and pictures on the walls with a detached interest, while Maya stood frozen in place, feeling like an intruder in her own home. Kakucho, on the other hand, watched Maya with a hint of remorse in his eyes, his expression tinged with sympathy. He seemed uncomfortable with the intrusion, but powerless to stop it. "Sorry about this, Maya," he muttered softly, his voice barely audible over the silence of the room.

Maya forced a weak smile, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to maintain her composure. "It's okay" she replied, her voice wavering slightly. But inside, she was anything but okay.

She was terrified, trapped in a nightmare from which there seemed to be no escape. "As cute as this place is..." Izana says sarcastically from inside her room "It's tiny as fuck"

Maya's smile faltered at Izana's comment, her anxiety rising with each passing moment. She felt exposed, vulnerable, as if Izana's mere presence had stripped away any sense of safety she had left. "Yeah, well, it's home," Maya replied, her voice tinged with defensiveness.

She wished she could muster the courage to stand up to Izana, to demand that he leave her alone, but fear held her tongue captive. After what she saw last night, what happened to the hospital director and the nurse, Maya knows better than to say anything against Izana. He emerged from her room, his smirk still firmly in place. "Well, lucky for you, bunny, you won't be spending much time here anymore," Izana remarked, his tone dripping with mockery. "We've got plans for you."

Izana takes a seat on the couch and says "Get me a drink"

At the same time, both Maya and Kakucho say "no"

Maya's heart raced as she and Kakucho spoke in unison, their voices firm and resolute despite their trembling nerves. She knew that giving Izana alcohol while he was still recovering from addiction was not only irresponsible but dangerous. Izana's smirk faltered for a moment, replaced by a flash of irritation. "What did you say?" he demanded, his tone sharp and demanding.

Maya swallowed hard, her hands shaking as she struggled to maintain her composure. "I said no," she repeated, her voice trembling but firm. "It's not a good idea for you to drink right now, Mr. Kurokawa."

Kakucho nodded in agreement, his expression apologetic as he glanced between Maya and Izana. "She's right, Izana," he interjected, his voice calm but firm. "You're still recovering, remember?"

Izana's gaze hardened, his jaw tensing as he stared down at Maya with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You're playing a dangerous game, bunny," he warned, his voice low and menacing. "But fine, I'll indulge you... for now."

It was dumb for Maya to be like this especially when these guys were literal killers, gangsters and whatnot. She knew she was playing a dangerous game by standing up to Izana, but she couldn't ignore the voice of reason within her. Despite her fear, Maya remained steadfast in her decision, her resolve unwavering even in the face of Izana's menacing glare. She couldn't afford to compromise her principles, not when the stakes were so high. Kakucho's gaze softened as he regarded Maya with a mixture of admiration and concern. "You're brave, doctor," he murmured, his voice tinged with genuine respect. "But you should be careful. Izana doesn't take kindly to being challenged."

Maya nodded, her heart pounding in her chest as she braced herself for whatever consequences her defiance might bring. Izana is holding a picture frame he picked off one of the tables, looking at it with amusement. "Tell me, how long have you known Matsuno Chifuyu?" Izana asks

She feels sick. "H-He doesn't have anything to do—"

"—to do with this, yeah I know," Izana says and chuckles "Why would I do anything to him? He's a former member after all"

Maya furrows her brows at Izana's words. Her mind raced with confusion and disbelief. Chifuyu, a member of the Tokyo Manji Gang? It was a revelation she couldn't fathom, a stark contrast to the kind and gentle demeanour he always displayed. She didn't think he was a gang member. How the fuck would a gang member pass high school and then run a pet store and listen to fucking girls generation? How was the boy she fell in love with in middle school affiliated with the gang whose scrutiny she's currently under? "I-I don't understand," she stammered, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "Chifuyu wouldn't—"

Izana's laughter cut through her protests, his amusement evident as he tossed the picture frame aside. "Oh, he's not with us anymore, sweetheart," he explained casually as if discussing the weather. "But he used to run with the best of us. We go way back. He was... First Divison Vice Captain, huge position until he left after he finished high school"

Maya's mind reeled at the implications of Izana's words. She had known Chifuyu for years and had trusted him implicitly. But now, faced with the harsh reality of his past, she couldn't help but question everything she thought she knew about him. "I-I had no idea," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "Chifuyu never mentioned anything..."

Izana's grin widened, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Well, now you know," he replied, his tone laced with amusement. "And now you're one of us, doc. Welcome to the family."

Maya thinks she's going to be sick. "I don't... I..."

No words are coming out. "What Izana means is that we would like you to work exclusively with us..." Kakucho says noticing Maya's panic, quickly jumping to do damage control "Izana is sick recovering and we can no longer trust anyone with continuing his treatment... You have proven to be... innocent and the best choice"

Maya felt trapped, her options shrinking as Izana and his associates painted her into a corner. The weight of their expectations bore down on her, suffocating her with the realization that she had little say in the matter. "I-I guess I don't have much of a choice," she murmured, her voice trembling with resignation.

Izana's grin widened, his eyes alight with triumph. "Smart girl," he remarked, his tone dripping with satisfaction. "You won't regret this, bunny. Welcome to the family."

"Financial control" Maya mutters as she looks around the new apartment

There are large floor-to-ceiling windows lining an entire wall and the place is already furnished. On the coffee table are shopping bags with logos of expensive brands on each. "hm?" Kakucho says curiously

Maya looks around in awe as she mindlessly says "Where someone takes charge of all finances to foster dependency, is a form of abuse aimed at gaining power over the victim's financial resources and independence"

Kakucho's brow furrows in confusion as Maya's words hang in the air, her voice tinged with a mix of awe and apprehension. "What do you mean?" he asks, his tone cautious.

Maya shakes her head, trying to compose herself as she struggles to articulate her thoughts. "I-I mean, it's just... this," she gestures around the lavish apartment, the extravagant furnishings, and the branded shopping bags. "It's all so... overwhelming."

Kakucho's expression softens with understanding as he takes in Maya's apprehensive demeanour. "I know it's a lot to take in," he says gently, "but we want you to feel comfortable here. Consider it a gesture of appreciation for everything you're... doing for us."

Maya nods, though her mind still churns with uncertainty. As she gazes out of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the bustling city below, she can't shake the feeling that she's stepped into a world far beyond her control. "Financial control, huh?" Izana says as he's lounging back on the couch "That's not what I was aiming for but now that you said it, I might take it into consideration"

Maya's heart sinks as Izana's casual response confirms her worst fears. She realizes now that she's truly trapped in a web of manipulation and coercion, her every move scrutinized and controlled by those around her. "I-I didn't mean..." she starts, her voice faltering as she struggles to find the right words.

Izana chuckles, a cold edge to his laughter that sends a shiver down Maya's spine. "Relax, bunny," he says, his tone deceptively light. "I was just teasing... for now."

Maya forces a weak smile, though inside, her anxiety continues to gnaw at her. "Izana..." Kakucho says with a frown "You said you'd stop scaring her"

Izana's grin falters slightly at Kakucho's reprimand, though the mischief in his eyes remains. "I'm just having a little fun, Kakucho," he replies, his tone dismissive. "No harm done."

Kakucho's frown deepens, but he doesn't press the matter further. Instead, he turns his attention to Maya, his expression softening with genuine concern. "Sorry about him," he says, offering her a reassuring smile. "He's... not always like this."

Maya doesn't really believe Kakucho but she nods anyway. She knows better than to trust the assurances of those entangled in the murky world of the Tokyo Manji Gang. As she watches Kakucho's friendly demeanour and Izana's playful banter, Maya can't help but wonder what ulterior motives lurk beneath their facade of friendliness. She forces herself to push aside her apprehensions, knowing that she has little choice but to play along for now. After all, she's seen firsthand the consequences of defying Izana and his associates. "Now c'mon, take a look at what I got you" Izana gestures to the bags on the coffee table

Izana directs her attention to the bags on the coffee table. She approaches cautiously, her suspicion mounting with each step. With a hesitant hand, she reaches out and grabs one of the bags, her fingers trembling slightly as she pulls it closer. As she peeks inside, her eyes widen in surprise. The bag is filled with designer clothing, each item more expensive than anything she's ever owned. Maya's mind races with conflicting emotions. On one hand, she's grateful for the gesture. On the other hand, she can't shake the feeling of unease that accompanies such extravagant displays of wealth. "Wow, thank you," Maya murmurs, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "I-I don't know what to say."

Izana chuckles, his grin widening at her reaction. "Consider it a welcome gift," he says, his tone almost jovial

Maya picks up a small Vivienne Westwood bag, unwraps the box and all the other packaging and sees a... A lighter? "I uh... I don't smoke" Maya says slowly, holding up the small silver heart-shaped lighter

She had seen it a bunch of times online. It was cute but no reason for anyone to spend a whole bunch of money on it when the contents inside were the same as any other lighter. "Oh yeah I know," Izana says dismissively "But I saw it and thought you'd look so cute on my lap while I'm in a meeting and lighting a cigarette for me with it—"

"You also can't smoke" Maya shuts it down immediately, her cheeks flushing pink from Izana voicing out his daydream

Izana's laughter only grows louder, echoing in the room as Kakucho shakes his head in bemusement. "Well, there goes that fantasy" Izana quips, his grin widening mischievously

Maya exhales a nervous laugh, relieved that the tension seems to dissipate, at least for the moment. "I suppose we'll have to find another way to make use of it" she says, trying to inject some lightness into the situation.

Izana's eyes gleam with amusement as he considers her suggestion. "Indeed," he agrees, his tone suggestive, making her cheeks flush an even darker shade of red

Kakucho clears his throat, interjecting with a hint of impatience. "Let's not get carried away, Izana." he says, shooting a warning glance at his friend.

Izana's grin widens, but he relents, setting aside the lighter with a playful shrug. "Fine, fine" he concedes, though the mischievous glint in his eyes suggests he's only biding his time

Then, with a flourish, he produces a Cartier jewelry box from his pocket, revealing a delicate bracelet nestled inside. Her eyes widen a bit at the sight of the bracelet. She recognizes it from her online browsing—a love bracelet, renowned for its distinctive locking mechanism. It was pretty popular but also pretty fucking expensive. "And this is also for you. From me, personally," Izana declares, taking Maya's wrist and fastening the gold bracelet "I noticed you wear gold jewellery so I got you gold"

Maya watches in silence as Izana locks the bracelet around her wrist. "Y-You really didn't have to" she murmurs, her gaze fixed on the shimmering gold bangle, unaware of Izana discreetly pocketing the golden screwdriver-like key.

As Izana steps back, admiring his handiwork, Maya tentatively flexes her wrist, feeling the weight of the bracelet. "It's beautiful" she concedes, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Despite her reservations about Izana's intentions, she can't deny the allure of the elegant accessory. Izana's grin widens at her response, a glint of satisfaction dancing in his eyes. "Glad you like it," he says, his voice laced with amusement. "Consider it a token of appreciation for being such a good sport."

Maya's smile falters slightly at the reminder of her precarious position. She knows accepting gifts from Izana only further entangles her in his web of influence. But for now, she chooses to focus on the fleeting sense of gratitude that accompanies the gesture. Kakucho watches the exchange with a knowing look, his expression unreadable. "Well, now that we've got that sorted," he interjects, breaking the momentary silence, "shall we eat?"

"Yes, let's eat" she agrees, relieved by the distraction.

As the sun begins its descent beyond the towering skyline of the city, casting hues of orange and pink across the horizon, Maya finds herself drawn to the floor-to-ceiling windows of the apartment. She stands by the glass, her gaze fixed on the mesmerizing spectacle unfolding before her. The vibrant colours of the sunset paint the sky with an ethereal glow, bathing the city in a soft, golden light. For a fleeting moment, Maya allows herself to be captivated by the beauty of the scene, the worries and uncertainties of her new reality momentarily forgotten. But as the last rays of sunlight fade into the twilight, casting shadows across the room, Maya's thoughts return to the daunting challenges that lie ahead. She knows she can't afford to let her guard down, not with Izana's watchful eyes constantly monitoring her every move. "If you ever need anything we're in the penthouse. You can just come up" Kakucho tells her

Kakucho's casual mention of their residence in the penthouse suite above jolted Maya out of her reverie. "Wait, you guys live here too?" she exclaimed, her voice tinged with disbelief, her eyes widening in surprise.

Kakucho nodded, offering her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, we're just a floor above," he confirmed, his tone calm and collected. "If you ever need anything, we're right there."

Maya's heart skipped a beat as she processed the implications of their proximity. She hadn't realized that they had secured her an apartment in the same building they resided in. The realization sent a shiver down her spine, the boundaries between her personal and professional life blurring in a way she hadn't anticipated. Before she could fully digest this new piece of information, Izana interjected with his trademark nonchalance. "We own several buildings in the city," he explained, his tone matter-of-fact. "This one just happens to be one of our properties."

The weight of Izana's words settled heavily upon Maya, their implications sinking in with each passing moment. She felt a growing sense of unease, a nagging suspicion that she was more deeply entangled in Izana's world than she had initially realized. "Thank you, Kakucho," Maya murmured, her voice tinged with gratitude, though a knot of anxiety still tightened in her chest

Kakucho's phone rings and he steps away for a moment. Izana takes that moment to walk over to her, standing next to her as he stares out the large window. As Kakucho stepped away to take the call, Izana seized the opportunity to approach Maya. He stood beside her, his presence imposing yet strangely captivating against the backdrop of the city lights. "Quite the view, isn't it?" Izana remarked, his tone casual as he leaned against the couch by the window, his gaze fixed on the sprawling cityscape below.

Maya nodded, though her attention remained divided between the breathtaking scenery and the enigmatic figure at her side. Despite her best efforts to maintain her composure, she couldn't shake off the unease that settled over her like a heavy cloak in Izana's presence. "Yeah, it's... impressive," Maya replied, her voice betraying a hint of uncertainty as she stole a sideways glance at Izana.

Izana chuckles. "If you don't like it I can get you another." He says it like it was nothing "new apartment, house, bungalow, mansion, beach house..."

Maya's heart skipped a beat at Izana's nonchalant offer. The idea of being handed another luxurious residence as if it were a mere trinket left her feeling unsettled. "Uh, no, that's not necessary" she replied, her voice tinged with unease.

Izana's grin widened at her response, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Suit yourself," he said, his tone laced with a hint of mischief. "But just know that the offer stands. Anything you want, just say the word."

Maya forced a tight smile, though inside, her mind churned with apprehension. The notion of having access to such extravagant wealth at her fingertips was both exhilarating and terrifying. She couldn't help but wonder what strings were attached to Izana's seemingly generous offer, and what price she would ultimately be expected to pay. "Oh..." Izana murmured seeing something he hadn't noticed earlier

He walks over, closer to her, taking hold of the two pendant necklaces she was wearing. Both were gold. One was a coin pendant with a flower in the center and the other was a butterfly. "these are cute" he hummed, examining both

Maya's breath caught in her throat as Izana approached, his proximity sending a shiver down her spine. She watched in silence as he delicately inspected the two pendant necklaces adorning her neck, his fingers tracing the intricate designs with a casual familiarity. "Yeah, they're just something I picked up..." Maya replied, her voice barely above a whisper, her cheeks flushing pink under Izana's scrutiny.

Izana's lips curled into a faint smirk as he continued to examine the pendants. "Interesting choice," he murmured, his tone contemplative. "They suit you."

Maya offered a tentative smile, though inside, her heart raced with apprehension. She couldn't shake the feeling that Izana's interest in her accessories went beyond simple admiration. There was something calculating in his gaze, a hunger that made her skin prickle with unease. Izana lets go of the coin pendant and holds the butterfly one, admiring it for a moment. "real gold, yeah?"

Maya nodded nervously, her eyes fixed on Izana's hands as he examined the delicate butterfly pendant. "Y-Yes, it's real gold," she confirmed, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

Izana's grin widened, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes. "Nice," he remarked, his tone almost playful. "I like someone who appreciates the finer things in life."

Maya forced a weak smile. Izana tugs lightly at it. "take it off"

Maya's breath catches in her throat at Izana's command, her fingers instinctively clutching the butterfly pendant as if it were her lifeline, her thin fingers wrapping around Izana's tanned ones. "W-Why?" she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes darting nervously between Izana and the necklace.

Izana's expression remains unreadable as he meets her gaze with an intensity that sends shivers down her spine. "Just because" he replies smoothly, his tone laced with an underlying threat, easily prying his hand out of hers

Maya's breath catches in her throat as she surrenders the necklace to Izana, her fingers trembling slightly as she releases her grip. Without a word, he takes the pendant from her hand and deftly fastens it around his own neck. She watches in silence, unable to tear her gaze away as Izana adjusts the pendant, his expression unreadable. Maya's eyes widen in surprise as Izana removes the gold chain from around his own neck. She watches in astonishment as he delicately places it around her neck, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her veins. "A trade, yeah" He murmurs as he fastens the chain around her neck

Maya's heart races at Izana's words, her mind struggling to process the implications of his actions. "But why?" she asks, her voice barely a whisper

Izana's smirk returns, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Consider it a symbol of our... partnership..." he replies cryptically, his tone laced with intrigue. "A reminder that we're in this together now."

With a final adjustment, he secures the chain in place, his touch lingering against her throat for a moment longer than necessary. As Izana steps back, his grin widening, Maya's mind races with conflicting emotions. She feels the weight of the gold chain around her neck, a tangible reminder of the bond forged between them. But beneath the surface, a sense of unease gnaws at her, a whisper of doubt that refuses to be silenced. "Izana, I..." Maya begins, her voice faltering as she searches for the right words.

But before she can articulate her thoughts, Kakucho returns, his expression unreadable as he takes in the scene before him. "Everything okay here?" he asks, his gaze flickering between Maya and Izana.

Izana's grin remains firmly in place as he nods, his tone casual. "Just making a trade" he replies, his eyes never leaving Maya's.

Kakucho's eyebrows furrow slightly, but he doesn't press further. Instead, he offers Maya a reassuring smile before turning his attention to Izana. "We should get going," he says, his tone indicating that the conversation is over.

Maya nods, her mind still reeling from the exchange. As they prepare to leave, she can't shake the feeling that she's entered into a pact with the devil himself

There are certain things Maya never thought she'd experience and waking up in a huge apartment was one of them. She was never able to sleep in new places very well so she watches the sunrise through the floor-to-ceiling windows of her new bedroom, still lying in bed. As the first rays of dawn pierce through the glass, casting a warm glow across the room, Maya lies in bed, her thoughts drifting as she watches the sunrise. The vast expanse of the cityscape stretches out before her, its towering skyscrapers bathed in the soft light of morning. It's a breathtaking sight, one that fills her with a sense of awe and wonder, even amidst the turmoil of her current circumstances. But beneath the surface, a knot of anxiety tightens in Maya's chest. She can't shake the feeling of unease that has plagued her ever since she first stepped foot into this opulent apartment. It's a stark reminder of just how far removed she is from her old life, a life that now feels like a distant memory. As she lies there, lost in thought, Maya can't help but wonder what the future holds. She knows that she's entered into a world fraught with danger and uncertainty, one where the stakes are higher than ever before. Her new phone buzzes. Along with the designer clothes and jewelry, Izana also bought her a new phone.

[5:34 am] hey bunny you up?

Maya can't help but turn a little red. It sounded like a typical booty call text and that probably wasn't even what he was texting her for. She knows she shouldn't read too much into it, but the playful tone of Izana's text sends a wave of mixed emotions coursing through her. Despite her reservations, Maya can't deny the pull of curiosity. With trembling fingers, she types out a response.

[5:36 am] Yeah. What's up?

As she hits send, Maya can't help but wonder what Izana has in store for her. She knows better than to let her guard down around him, but there's a part of her that can't resist the thrill of the unknown. Almost immediately, her phone buzzes with a reply from Izana.

[5:36 am] I'm hungry come make me food you're a good cook and I'm tired of kakucho's cooking i need variety

Maya's cheeks flush a deeper shade of red as she reads Izana's message. Despite the casual tone, she can't help but feel a sense of unease at his request. The idea of cooking for Izana in the early hours of the morning feels both surreal and oddly intimate. Nevertheless, Maya knows better than to refuse him outright. With a resigned sigh, she begins to type out a response.

[5:38 am] Sure, I can make you something What do you feel like eating?

As she sends the message, Maya braces herself for Izana's reply, her mind already racing with ideas for what she could whip up in the kitchen. Despite her misgivings, there's a small part of her that can't deny the satisfaction of being able to provide for him, even if it's just through a simple meal. Maya waits anxiously for Izana's response, her heart pounding in her chest as she anticipates his reply. A few moments later, her phone buzzes with a new message from him.

[5:40 am] Surprise me

Maya's brow furrows in frustration at the vague response, but she knows she has no choice but to comply. With a resigned sigh, she throws off the covers and swings her legs out of bed, steeling herself for the task ahead. As she makes her way to the kitchen, Maya's mind races with possibilities. She sifts through the ingredients in the pantry and refrigerator, her thoughts spinning as she considers what she could prepare for Izana. Despite the early hour, Maya finds herself strangely energized by the challenge, a sense of determination driving her forward. With practiced efficiency, Maya begins to gather the necessary ingredients, her hands moving deftly as she sets about preparing a meal fit for a gangster. As the aroma of pancakes and brewing coffee fills the air, Maya can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction wash over her. Despite the unusual circumstances, there's something comforting about the act of cooking, a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of her new life. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Maya puts the finishing touches on Izana's breakfast, arranging the food neatly on a plate before carrying it over to the table. As she sets the plate down in front of him, Izana looks up at her with a smirk, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Well, well, what do we have here?" he says, his tone teasing as he surveys the meal before him. "I must say, you've outdone yourself, bunny."

Maya can't help but smile at his words, a sense of pride swelling within her chest. Despite her initial apprehension, she's relieved to see that Izana seems satisfied with her efforts. As he digs into the food with gusto, Maya watches him with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity, wondering what other surprises her new life has in store for her. Maya isn't too surprised he has a key to her new place. After all, he lived just above in the penthouse and owned the building itself. "um... where's Kakucho?" she asks curiously, watching Izana eat

It's about 6-something now. Izana looks up from his meal, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. "Oh, Kakucho had some business to attend to," he replies casually, his tone betraying nothing. "Left bright and early, just like him."

Maya nods, though she can't shake the feeling of unease that settles in the pit of her stomach. She's become accustomed to Kakucho's presence, his calm demeanour serving as a reassuring presence in the midst of Izana's unpredictable behaviour. Without him around, Maya can't help but feel a sense of vulnerability, a nagging suspicion that she's once again at Izana's mercy. As she watches Izana finish his meal, Maya can't help but wonder what other secrets he's hiding, what other schemes he has up his sleeve. Despite her lingering doubts, Maya knows she has no choice but to play along, to navigate the treacherous waters of Izana's world with caution and cunning. With a heavy sigh, she pushes aside her concerns and focuses on the task at hand, steeling herself for whatever challenges lie ahead. "You haven't showered, yeah?" Izana asks as he sips his coffee

Maru shakes her head no. She's in sweatpants and an oversized shirt which was a huge contrast to Izana's silk pyjamas which probably cost more than her. "shower, be ready by 10. I have work and I wanna take you out for lunch"

Maya's heart skips a beat at Izana's directive. It didn't sound like a casual invitation; it felt more like a command. Despite the faint flicker of apprehension that flares within her, Maya nods obediently, her mind already racing with thoughts of what Izana might have planned. "Okay" she replies, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes darting nervously

She knows better than to defy him, especially after she watched him and his friends kill her boss and co-workers last night. Izana flashes her a satisfied grin before returning his attention to his coffee. "Good," he says, his tone dismissive. "I'll see you then."

Izana leaves her apartment to go back to his own. Maya heads toward the bathroom to prepare for her unexpected lunch date, she can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at her insides. Despite Izana's outward charm, there's a darkness lurking beneath the surface, a reminder of the dangers that lurk in his world. But for now, Maya pushes aside her doubts, focusing instead on the task at hand. With a mix of apprehension and curiosity swirling within her, Maya steps into the shower, allowing the warm water to cascade over her, washing away the remnants of sleep and uncertainty. As she lathers soap over her skin, her mind races with questions about Izana's intentions and what this lunch outing might entail.

After hastily drying off Maya tries to figure out what to wear. It takes her a long time to decide what to wear. Izana hadn't exactly told her where they were going for lunch but he did say he had something to do first since it was still pretty early which meant he would be wearing a suit. So, she should probably wear something somewhat formal as well. She wears a light blue satin ankle-length skirt and a white off-the-shoulder blouse. Maya does her makeup and stares for a moment at her neck. There sits the gold chain Izana put on her in exchange for her necklace with the butterfly necklace. It was honestly a bit odd that he had given it to her but oh well. Maya wasn't exactly in a position to argue with him. She looks down at her wrist where the gold love bracelet is. Maya had tried to take it off last night but couldn't find the screwdriver for it anywhere. She didn't want to force it off and hurt herself so she just kept it on. Perhaps she'll ask Izana about it later.

Maya glances at the clock to find it's already 9:45. Checking her appearance one last time in the mirror, she grabs her bag, which was another one of the unnecessarily expensive gifts from Izana, and heads out the door. The elevator ride down to the ground floor feels like an eternity, each passing second amplifying Maya's nerves. As the elevator doors slide open, Maya steps out into the lobby, her eyes scanning the area for any sign of Izana. Sure enough, he's waiting for her, leaning casually against the wall with an air of confidence that sends a shiver down Maya's spine. "Right on time," Izana remarks, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips as he straightens up to greet her, wearing a suit just like she predicted "Shall we?"

Maya forces a tight-lipped smile, her heart pounding in her chest as she falls into step beside him. With each passing moment, she can't help but wonder what lies in store for her on this unexpected lunch date with Izana. As they stepped out of the building, right in front of the door was a black Lexus and one of the men from the night at the hospital. Shion, if she remembered correctly. He's standing with with his arms crossed over and a scowl on his face. "boss" Shion greets as he opens the back door of the car for Izana

Izana simply nods at him and Maya greets him with a weak smile. "huh, didn't know you'd still be alive" Shion says raising his brow

Maya's stomach churns at Shion's comment, a wave of nausea washing over her. She fights to maintain her composure, forcing herself to keep a neutral expression despite the discomfort gnawing at her insides. "Just lucky, I guess," she manages to reply, her voice barely above a whisper.

Shion's eyes linger on her for a moment longer, his gaze sharp and assessing, before he turns his attention back to Izana. "Where to, boss?" he asks, his tone curt and businesslike.

Izana settles into the backseat of the car, motioning for Maya to join him. "You know the place," he says casually, his tone betraying nothing of his intentions.

Maya slides into the car beside Izana, her nerves on edge as they pull away from the curb. After a few minutes of driving, she speaks up "uh, where are we going?" she fiddles with the bracelet he gifted her

"I have a meeting to go to then we'll go for lunch," Izana says as he undoes the button on his suit jacket "You can just stay in the car with Shion"

She can only nod as her unease grows with each passing moment. She nods silently, her gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. The car glides through the bustling streets of the city, the rhythmic hum of the engine the only sound breaking the silence. "uh..." she decides to speak again, fiddling with the gold Cartier love bracelet "I couldn't find the screwdriver for the bracelet in the box last night while I was trying to take it off. Do you have it?"

Izana who is on his phone doesn't even look up as he says "hm? No actually. I left it in the box after I put it on you. Maybe it fell somewhere"

"Oh..." she murmurs, her fingers tracing the smooth surface of the bracelet. "I-I'll have to look for it later then."

But even as she speaks, a sense of resignation washes over her. Deep down, she knows that finding the key is just another impossibility in a world where she's already lost control.

But of course, Maya doesn't know Izana still has the screwdriver.

"So... You guys fucking?" Shion starts a poor attempt at conversation while they sit in the car outside a large warehouse for Izana's 'meeting' to end

He's looking at her through the rear-view mirror. Maya's cheeks flush crimson at Shion's blunt question, her eyes widening in shock at his audacity. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her gaze darting nervously around the car before settling on Shion's reflection in the rear-view mirror. "Uh, excuse me?" she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper, her heart pounding in her chest.

Shion merely shrugs, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Just making conversation," he replies casually, his tone laced with amusement. "You and the boss seem pretty cozy, that's all."

Maya's cheeks burn hotter with embarrassment, her mind racing as she searches for a suitable response. "uh... no we're not..."

Shion shrugs again. "yeah that was a stupid question. I just didn't know what else to say"

Maya lets out a nervous chuckle, grateful for Shion's change of topic. "It's okay," she replies, her voice tinged with relief. "I get it. It's just... I'm still getting used to everything."

Shion nods in understanding, his smirk softening into a more sympathetic expression. "Yeah, I can imagine," he says, his tone surprisingly gentle. "It's a lot to take in, especially with someone like Izana."

Maya's shoulders relax slightly at Shion's empathetic response. Despite his initial brashness, she senses a genuine sincerity in his words. "Yeah," she agrees with a small nod. "It definitely is."

Before Shion can respond, Izana reaches the car, his presence filling the space with an air of authority. Maya's heart quickens at his approach, her thoughts momentarily distracted from the awkward conversation with Shion. As Izana slides into the car beside her, Maya steals a glance at him. She furrows her brows seeing he isn't wearing his tie or suit jacket anymore, instead, they're hanging off his arm, the sleeves of his black dress shirt are rolled up to his elbows and the top few buttons are undone. Oh wow. Wow. Wow. He looks good. Maya's breath catches in her throat as she takes in Izana's appearance. Despite the casual attire, there's an undeniable aura of power and confidence emanating from him, drawing her in like a moth to a flame. She feels a flush rise to her cheeks as she realizes just how striking he looks, his rugged charm only adding to his magnetic presence. "Everything alright?" Izana's voice interrupts her reverie, pulling her back to reality. His piercing gaze meets hers, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.

Maya clears her throat, forcing herself to focus. "Uh, yeah, everything's fine," she replies, her voice slightly breathless. "Just... thinking."

Izana quirks an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "About what, exactly?" he asks, his tone teasing.

Maya's cheeks flush a deeper shade of red at the implication of his question. "N-Nothing important," she stammers, averting her gaze to hide her embarrassment.

Izana chuckles softly, the sound sending a shiver down her spine. "Well, if you say so," he replies, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer before turning back to Shion.

"Everything go well?" Shion asks

"yup" Izana answers simply "Now, let's get going. I'm starving." With that, he turns his attention to Shion, giving him a nod to start the car.

As the car pulls away from the warehouse, Maya can't shake the fluttering sensation in her chest. Kurokawa Izana is unfairly hot. How is it that older guys are always so hot? Maya's phone buzzes and her eyes widen realizing she forgot about Chifuyu. "answer it" Izana says

Matsuno Chifuyu, the guy who is the reason she is quite literally still alive because of and her first love. One sided love actually. Maya has been in love with Chifuyu since middle school. He was a good 5 years older than her and he didn't like her back. Due to all the things going on, she hadn't contacted him and of course, he was worried(she texted him maybe 100 times a day, obviously he'd notice if she stopped). Maya is about to decline the call but Izana takes the phone and answers it, putting it on speaker. She can't help but glare at him. "hello?" Chifuyu says

Maya is about to snatch the phone from Izana but he pulls back and just smiles teasingly. Chifuyu keeps talking on the phone while Izana mutes it and Maya keeps trying to take it back. "Give it back" She hisses as Izana moves to the other side of the car, his back pressing against the door

Izana just grabs her waist with one hand and then unmutes the phone. Immediately Maya stops trying to pull it out of his grasp and goes quiet, the only sound in the car being the hum of the engine. "Maya? Hello~?" Chifuyu says and Izana gestures for her to talk

Maya's eye twitches in annoyance. "hello" she answers back

"fucking finally. where have you been? You haven't texted me in two days!"

Izana's arm around her waist tightens. "I-I've been busy... I quit the hospital and—"

"After the first day?!" He cuts her off and Izana looks like he wants to laugh

Maya just glares even harder at him. "I got a better job. It uh... pays a lot better" She wasn't about to tell Chifuyu the truth

Kakucho had explained to her pretty vaguely that Chifuyu and Kazutora had left Tokyo Manji Gang years ago and probably just didn't want her to be afraid of them. They had retired and were good people, only a part of the gang before it became as big as it is today. Maya had no reason to feel betrayed. Chifuyu and Kazutora's past had nothing to do with her. "Better job? One that got you out of your tiny ass house? I even went to your apartment today to check on you but your landlady said you moved out"

Maya laughs nervously. "My new job pays me to be... closer" It wasn't exactly a lie

"c-close? Oh my god Maya don't tell me you actually took Kazutora's joke of becoming a sugar baby seriously?!"

Maya turns red at his words as she makes eye contact with Izana who has a mischievous smile on his face, very clearly enjoying this conversation. Chifuyu wasn't too far off though. She might as well be Izana's sugar baby. The only thing left was sleeping with him. "What the fuck? NO!" She replies quickly "I'm not sleeping with old men... A-And I have to go Chifuyu... I'll call you later"

Before Chifuyu can say anything, Maya grabs the phone out of Izana's hand and ends the call. Izana looks like he wants to laugh and Maya just glares at him. "You can't just do that" She says

"hm? and why not?" He asks with a smile

It's right then that Maya realizes while she was trying to get the phone from Izana she ended up in his lap and his arms were now around her body. Her face turns bright red. Shion whistles teasingly from the driver's seat and Maya pulls herself out of Izana's grasp, landing back on the leather seat. "You're so..." Maya pauses and then groans in annoyance, clutching her phone tightly

Izana just shrugs and starts fixing his shirt as Shion pulls into the parking lot of some high-end-looking restaurant. "Use your words, I don't know what that sound means" Izana says teasingly as he loops his tie around his neck

Maya rolls her eyes and then decides to not be so cautious about her words for a moment. "You're really annoying and childish"

What she said wasn't even that bad but Izana seemed like the person to get angry at any form of criticism, even sarcastic like the one she just said. Maya expects Izana to get angry but he doesn't. Instead, he laughs and says "hm, you think so?"

And so, Maya decides she should try and see how far she can push before Izana pulls out a gun on her.

It lasts for months. Maya trying to get under Izana's skin and he just responds back in an equally teasing manner. At this point, his system has been completely detoxified of the drugs and he's doing much much better. At this point, Maya is very much a damn freeloader too. Izana just keeps giving her things and she's always attempting to be mean. Izana must think she's flirting or something.

Well... She kinda is. But then again, with a wallet like that, who wouldn't? Sure he tortured her previous employer right in front of her but what's bygones is bygones right? Maybe that made her a little morally grey but when you're fresh out of uni with no money and suddenly given a whole bunch all at once and your loans have been paid off, maybe living with a murderer and using his money isn't that bad. Right?

Maya is their therapist of some sort. Izana is paying her a lot to stick around and in this economy, she'd be stupid not to. Her rent is paid, and she never has to worry about food or money. Things are scarily comfortable so she hasn't let her guard down. Who knows when Izana will pull the carpet out from beneath her feet? He is very sweet though sometimes— Izana. Kakucho as well. Out of everyone though, Maya got along with Shion the most. They bonded over Izana being an asshole. "And so I told him, I'm not an escort. I won't go to your stupid fancy party just to make you look good" Maya says making wild hand gestures

She and Shion were in the car, both in casual clothes rather than the formal wear Maya had gotten accustomed to. Shion looks like a back street drug dealer in his all-black outfit with cargo pants and a hoodie and Maya looks like a high school with her basketball shorts and hoodie. There is fast food resting on the armrest between the driver and passenger seat and two drinks in both cup holders. "shut up you did not say that" Shion says as he picks up his drink "Am I talking to a ghost right now? Did Big Boss kill you?"

He reaches over and tries to make his hand go through her face in case he is talking to a ghost. Maya smacks his hand away and kicks off her sneakers so she can get more comfortable and shoves a bunch of fries in her mouth. "fuck off dude" she says then looks away "I didn't exactly say that but y'know... something along the lines"

Shion narrows his eyes. "pussy"

Maya gasps about to throw the entire pack of fries at him. "Take that back!"

"No"

"motherfucker—"

It's about 12:30 am. Dark outside and not a person was in sight in the parking lot of the fast-food place. Shion apparently loved the place and she could understand why. They often took late-night runs and Shion being her 'driver' took her where she wanted. He at first did say it was boring but he figured that shopping and doing groceries was a lot less stressful than meeting with foreign mafia. After all, Tokyo Manji Gang was getting a lot bigger. "Anyways, Izana is fine now. Why does he keep you around?" Shion asks as he takes a bite of his burger

Maya shrugs. "Beats me. Overpaid escort I guess"

"Or maybe..." Shion says slowly with a suggestive tone raising his brows

"No" Maya shuts him down immediately, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment "I dunno why he keeps me around"

Shion just grins. "he likes you~"

"fuck off, what are you? 12?" Maya grumbles in annoyance "That scary man doesn't seem like he's capable of love"

"oh he is—" Shion is cut off when there is a knock on the driver-side window

They both screech at the same time. There stands Izana in a suit, his gun pressed against the glass. "OH MY GOD!" Shion screams louder than Maya

"DRIVE!" Maya screams

"FUCK NO! HE'LL KILL ME!"

The mood in the car shifts from playful to terrified in an instant. Izana's expression is a mix of annoyance and amusement as he watches their panic through the glass. "Calm down, you fucking idiots," he says, his voice muffled but clear through the closed window. "Open the door."

Shion, still pale and shaking, fumbles with the lock and opens the door. Izana slides into the backseat, his presence dominating the small space. He puts his gun away, but the tension remains thick in the air. "What the hell are you two doing out here?" he asks, his tone deceptively calm.

Maya, heart still racing, struggles to regain her composure. "W-We were just getting some food," she stammers, holding up the pack of fries as evidence. "It's late, and we were hungry."

Izana raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "You know it's not safe for you to be out here like this without extra security," he says, his gaze shifting between Shion and Maya. "Especially you, Maya."

For some reason Izana using her name rather than the nickname she had gotten used to coming from him made her feel odd. "Yeah, boss, sorry. I didn't think—" Shion gulps, nodding fervently

"That's right, you didn't think," Izana interrupts, his voice sharp. "You're supposed to be her protector, not her playmate."

Maya looks outside the window to see multiple cars with multiple people standing outside in suits. Was something going on? She feels nervous and Izana's words about Shion being her protector made her wonder what he meant. "I-Izana is something going on—"

"Not right now, Maya" Izana cuts her off and looks at Shion "You should have known better. Do you not remember what was happening tonight?"

Maya feels nervous and a little frightened. Shion's face goes pale as the gravity of the situation dawns on him. "Boss, I—"

Izana cuts him off with a dismissive wave. "Save it, Shion. Get her back to the apartment. Now."

Maya feels her stomach churn with anxiety as she glances at the men outside, their serious expressions and ready stances indicating that something significant is unfolding tonight. She turns to Izana, her voice trembling. "Izana, what's happening?"

Izana meets her gaze, his eyes cold and unyielding. "Business," he says simply, his tone leaving no room for further questions. "Go back to the apartment."

Maya nods, swallowing her fear. Shion starts the car, his hands still trembling, and they drive off, the silence between them heavy with unspoken words. As they make their way back, Shion's grip on the steering wheel tightens. "Maya, I'm sorry," he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. "I messed up."

Maya shakes her head, trying to offer some comfort. "It's okay, Shion. We didn't know."

"No, it's not okay," he insists, his voice strained. "Izana doesn't take mistakes lightly. I put you in danger, and that's not something I can easily forgive myself for."

They reach the apartment, and Shion parks the car, turning to face her. "Stay inside and lock the doors. I'll be downstairs, keeping an eye out."

Maya nods, stepping out of the car and heading into the building. As she rides the elevator up to her floor, her mind races with thoughts of what could be happening and what kind of trouble Izana might be dealing with. She tries to shake off the worry, reminding herself that Izana is capable and resourceful. Once inside her apartment, she locks the door and leans against it, taking a deep breath. The opulence of her surroundings feels starkly at odds with the tension and fear coursing through her. She walks over to the large windows, looking out at the city below, the lights twinkling in the night. A sense of isolation washes over her as she realizes just how entangled she has become in Izana's world. The luxury and security come with a price, and tonight she had glimpsed a piece of that cost. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing for a moment of normalcy, a life where she didn't have to worry about the dangerous games played by men like Izana.

The night had been going well. Or well at least she thought it was. Oh god, Maya hoped Shion wasn't in trouble. It was just a harmless outing after all. They were just getting food. Maya's fingers tremble as she reaches for her phone and texts Izana.

[12:54 am] don't be mad at Shion I was the one that insisted

Izana just leaves her on read and it makes Maya even more anxious. She isn't sure if she or Shion are in trouble. She hopes they aren't. But at the same time, Maya isn't sure when she got so used to this violent life. It was bad. The minutes stretched into an eternity as Maya anxiously waited for a response from Izana, her eyes flickering to her phone every few seconds. The silence from him was deafening, and her mind raced with worst-case scenarios. She paced the length of her living room, her nerves frayed and her thoughts jumbled. Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, she sank onto the plush couch, trying to calm her racing heart. The city's lights glittered outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, but they provided little comfort. Maya's thoughts were consumed by worry for Shion and the potential consequences of their late-night outing. Her phone buzzed, breaking the silence, and she snatched it up with trembling hands, hoping for a message from Izana. Instead, it was Shion.

[1:05 am] Don't worry about me Just stay inside

Maya sighed in relief, but it was short-lived. The uncertainty of the situation still loomed over her. She typed out a quick response.

[1:06 am] I will I'm sorry

She set her phone down and leaned back, closing her eyes in an attempt to steady her breathing. The night's events replayed in her mind, and she couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled in her chest. Despite her growing familiarity with this dangerous world, she couldn't ignore the fear that gnawed at her. Hours passed in restless silence. Maya couldn't bring herself to sleep, so she decided to distract herself with a book. She picked up a novel from the coffee table and tried to lose herself in the story, but her mind kept drifting back to Izana and Shion. The unease wouldn't leave her, and every noise from the city outside made her jump. As dawn approached, the first light of morning filtering through the windows, Maya's phone buzzed again. She grabbed it, her heart leaping with hope and fear. It was a message from Izana.

[5:47 am] Shion's fine. Don't do that again. No more late night outings Not anytime soon.

Maya let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. It wasn't exactly comforting, but at least it meant Shion wasn't in immediate danger. She quickly typed a response.

[5:48 am] I won't I'm sorry

She set her phone down and rubbed her eyes, exhaustion finally catching up with her. The adrenaline that had kept her awake all night was wearing off, leaving her feeling drained. She decided to take a quick shower, hoping the warm water would help clear her mind. As she stood under the stream, she couldn't help but reflect on how much her life had changed in such a short time. The luxury and security of her new lifestyle came with strings attached, and she was constantly navigating the fine line between safety and danger. Izana's world was one of power and control, and Maya was acutely aware of her precarious position within it.

Dressed in fresh clothes, Maya returned to the living room, feeling slightly more composed. The city outside was beginning to wake up, and she could hear the distant sounds of traffic and activity. She made herself a cup of coffee and settled on the couch, determined to stay alert and ready for whatever the day might bring. As she sipped her coffee, she glanced at her phone again, hoping for more communication from Izana. She knew better than to push him, but the silence was maddening. She decided to text him again, keeping it light and non-confrontational.

[6:15 am] Good morning Do you need anything today?

She waited, her heart pounding with anticipation. The minutes ticked by slowly, and just when she was about to give up hope for a response, her phone buzzed.

[6:22 am] Be ready by 9 We're going out.

Maya's heart skipped a beat. She had no idea what Izana had planned, but she knew better than to question him. She set her coffee down and began to prepare for the day, her mind racing with possibilities. Maya took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. She glanced at the clock and realized she had just under three hours to get ready. She decided to take her time, knowing that projecting confidence and control was essential in Izana's world.

After another quick shower to freshen up, Maya meticulously selected her outfit. She opted for a mid-length black dress with a sweetheart neckline and white trim, paired with comfortable yet stylish heels. She knew that appearances mattered greatly to Izana, and she wanted to make sure she looked the part. Her hair was styled neatly, and she applied just enough makeup to highlight her features without overdoing it. By the time she finished getting ready, it was 8:45 am. Maya took a moment to collect herself, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She grabbed her phone, keys, and a small handbag before heading out of her apartment. As she stepped into the hallway, she found Shion waiting for her, leaning casually against the wall. His usual smirk was in place, but there was a hint of seriousness in his eyes. "Morning," he greeted her, straightening up.

"Morning, Shion," Maya replied, offering a small smile. She felt a mixture of relief and nervousness at seeing him again after the previous night's events. "Izana said we have plans today."

Shion nodded, his expression softening slightly. "Yeah, he's waiting downstairs. Let's go."

They walked to the elevator in silence, the tension from the previous night still lingering between them. As the elevator descended, Maya glanced at Shion, searching for any signs of what might be in store for them. He met her gaze and gave a reassuring nod, though it did little to ease her apprehension. When they reached the lobby, Maya spotted Izana standing near the entrance, his presence commanding as always. He was dressed impeccably in a tailored suit, his expression unreadable. As they approached, he turned to face them, his eyes briefly scanning Maya's outfit before nodding in approval. "You're ready," Izana stated, his tone leaving no room for doubt.

"Yes," Maya replied, her voice steady. "Where are we going?"

"Brunch," Izana said with a cryptic smile, motioning for them to follow him "We're getting Kakucho first"

They stepped outside, where the usual sleek black Lexus awaited them. Izana opened the back door for Maya, a rare gesture of chivalry that didn't go unnoticed. She slid into the car, followed by Izana and Shion, who took the driver's seat as usual. The drive was quiet, the only sound being the hum of the engine and the occasional soft clicks from Izana's phone as he checked messages. Maya's mind raced with possibilities of what this brunch might entail, especially after what happened last night. They stop at another large apartment building and a few minutes later Kakucho steps out and gets into the passenger seat at the front and Shion starts driving again. Maya hasn't seen Kakucho as much lately. He was busy according to Shion and Maya doesn't think she wants to know the details.

Evil doesn't rest is something Maya remembers reading some time ago. It seems it's true because even gang members can't have much time to rest. Maya can't help but wonder if she is their only connection to normalcy. Maybe that's why Shion lets her talk to him all informally even though he's 9 years older; Maybe that's why Kakucho lets her mess around with him; Maybe that's why Izana lets her spit out smart comments.

As they drove through the city, Maya reflected on the question Shion had asked her last night: why does Izana keep you around?

Izana kept Maya around for normalcy.

To feel a little less like a bad person.

Izana had long recovered from his addiction and didn't even smoke anymore, only drinking for leisure. Maya was a reminder of what it felt like to be a regular person, a tether to a world he could never fully inhabit but still wanted to touch.

When they arrived at their destination, an upscale brunch spot tucked away in a quiet corner of the city, Izana led the way inside. The restaurant was elegant, with soft jazz playing in the background and sunlight streaming through large windows. They were seated at a private table in the back, away from prying eyes. As they settled in, the waiter came to take their orders. Maya glanced at the menu, her mind still buzzing with thoughts. She ordered a simple meal, trying to gauge the atmosphere. The place was empty. "Do you own this place too?" She asks as Izana pours himself water

Izana hums. "Of course, bunny" Ah, he was back to calling her that "How else do you think I booked the place out? Is this the first time I've brought you here?"

As usual, it was only her and Izana together in the restaurant. Shion never joined them as he'd go do whatever errands Izana assigned him and Kakucho was never in the mood to 'third wheel'. Maya's thoughts were interrupted as the waiter returned with their drinks. She took a sip of her orange juice, the tartness a welcome distraction from her swirling thoughts. "I guess it is the first time," she responded, her voice carrying a hint of awe as she looked around the empty, elegant space. "It's beautiful."

Izana smiled, clearly pleased by her reaction. "I thought you might like it. It's one of my favorite spots. Quiet, private."

"Must be nice to have so many places you can call your own," Maya said, trying to keep the conversation light. "Do you ever get tired of it?"

Izana leaned back in his chair, studying her. "Sometimes. But it's necessary. In my line of work, privacy and control are everything."

She nodded, understanding the underlying message. In Izana's world, trust was a luxury few could afford. As their food arrived, Maya glanced at the beautifully presented dishes. Despite the tension and the ever-present undercurrent of danger, moments like these almost felt normal. Almost. "How's your breakfast?" Izana asked, cutting into his food.

"It's delicious," Maya replied, taking a bite. "Thank you for bringing me here."

Izana waved off her thanks. They ate in silence for a while till she spoke up again "Uh... What was last night about?"

Izana puts his utensils down and Maya immediately regrets touching the topic. "Maya..." Oh there he was using her name again

Maya had gotten so used to being called bunny by Izana that now it just felt wrong when he called her by her name. May puts down her utensils as well, looking at him nervously. "There is something I didn't account for when bringing you along places with me even if you were just in the car most of the time and the only places we went were restaurants..." Izana says cautiously

What did he have to be cautious about? Maya's pulse quickened as Izana's tone turned serious. She swallowed hard, waiting for him to continue, her mind racing with all the possible directions this conversation could go. The elegant surroundings and the quiet, empty restaurant suddenly felt like a pressure cooker, the weight of Izana's words bearing down on her. Izana sighed, leaning forward slightly, his eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that made her breath hitch. "Maya, being around me, being part of my life, it's dangerous. Last night, we had a close call. I underestimated the risks involved in keeping you close, even if it's just for something as simple as getting food."

Maya frowned, confusion and concern swirling in her mind. "What do you mean? What kind of close call?"

"There are always people watching, always enemies waiting for a moment of weakness," Izana explained, his voice low and measured. "Last night, we had a situation that could have escalated. You and Shion were vulnerable, and it was a mistake for me and Shion to let our guards down, even for a moment."

Maya's stomach churned. She hadn't realized the full extent of the danger she was in, or how her presence might complicate things for Izana and his operations. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to put anyone at risk."

Izana shook his head, a rare, almost tender expression softening his features. "It's not your fault, bunny. It's mine. I should have been more careful."

She shifts in place. "What exactly does this mean for me?"

"Someone put a bounty on your head, sweetheart... That's what it means"

Maya felt a cold chill run down her spine at Izana's words. The world around her seemed to narrow, the elegant restaurant fading into the background as the weight of the revelation settled in. Her mouth went dry, and she had to swallow hard before she could speak again. "A bounty?" she echoed, her voice barely audible.

Izana nodded, his expression grim. "Yes. It seems my enemies believe that getting to you might be a way to get to me. I underestimated how visible our connection had become."

Maya's mind raced. She had known that being around Izana came with risks, but she had never imagined something like this. "What... what are we going to do?"

Izana reached across the table, taking her hand in his. His touch was surprisingly gentle, a stark contrast to the deadly world he inhabited and to the teasing and patronizing way he usually treated her. "I'm going to keep you safe," he said firmly. "You'll stay closer to me from now on. I'll increase your security. We need to make sure you're protected at all times."

Maya looked into his eyes, seeing a flicker of something she hadn't expected: genuine concern. Despite his ruthless exterior, it seemed Izana did care about her well-being. "Okay," she said, squeezing his hand. "I'll do whatever you think is best."

Izana nodded, releasing her hand and leaning back in his chair. "Good. For now, just enjoy your breakfast. We'll discuss the details later."

But even as Maya eats she can't help but feel sick. As they leave the restaurant, Shion and Kakucho are already back from whatever they had to do. It's as they're driving, Maya's phone buzzes with a text.

[10:54 am] watch your back, doctor

Maya stares at the text in confusion and then comes another.

[10:54 am] Izana won't be able to keep you safe forever

Instantly she feels her stomach churn and her mouth fill with saliva. "Shion..." she says weakly "Pull over"

He looks at her through the rearview mirror, Kakucho and Izana turning to her as well. "Maya are you okay?" Kakucho asks, furrowing his brow

Maya just grips her phone tight. "I'm gonna throw up, pull over"

The car comes to a screeching halt on the fairly empty road and she stumbles out of the car. She barely made it to the side before doubling over, retching violently again. Izana was beside her in an instant, holding her steady with an arm around her waist and hand holding her hair back. "Maya, what happened?" he asked, his voice a mix of concern and anger.

She handed him her phone, still trembling and hunched over. He read the messages, his expression darkening with each word. "Who sent these?" he demanded, his grip tightening on her phone.

"I don't know," Maya managed to say between breaths. "It was a blocked number."

Shion and Kakucho are standing right by them, water bottle in hand. Izana trades Maya's phone for the water bottle and makes her drink. Maya took a few sips of the water, her hands shaking. Izana's presence was both reassuring and terrifying. She could see the fury simmering just beneath the surface of his calm exterior. "We need to get you back to the apartment," he said firmly, his eyes scanning their surroundings for any immediate threats.

Shion nodded and quickly moved to open the car door for Maya. "Come on, let's get you somewhere safe," he urged.

As they got back into the car, the atmosphere was tense. Izana was on his phone, barking orders to his security team, ensuring every possible measure was taken to protect Maya. Kakucho sat in the front, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, while Shion kept checking the rearview mirror, alert for any sign of trouble. Maya leaned back in her seat, trying to steady her breathing. She felt a mixture of fear and guilt—fear for her safety and guilt for causing such a commotion. She glanced at Izana, who was now off the phone and staring out the window, his jaw clenched. "Sorry" she whispered, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on her.

Izana turned to her, his expression softening slightly. "It's not your fault, bunny" he said, using the nickname that now felt oddly comforting

Izana pulls Maya over into his arms so she's pressed into his side. Maru looks up at him, sad-scared puppy eyes melting his cold heart. "shh~, c'mere" he murmurs, pulling her up so she's sitting across his lap

It felt nice being comforted by a man that was cruel to everyone else. Maya nestled into Izana's embrace, her anxiety slowly ebbing away as his steady presence enveloped her. She could feel the tension in his body, a coiled spring ready to unleash fury on anyone who dared threaten her. For a moment, she allowed herself to find solace in his strength, pushing away the fear and uncertainty that had gripped her earlier. The drive back to the apartment was tense, the atmosphere thick with unspoken fears and simmering anger. Maya stayed curled up in Izana's lap, her head resting against his chest. Izana's grip on her tightened slightly, a protective gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Shion and Kakucho. They exchanged glances, both aware of the gravity of the situation "shhh..." Izana hushes gently every time he felt her shiver

He holds the back of her head, pressing her face to the crook of her neck. Maru wraps. her arms around Izana's neck, clinging to him for comfort and security. Maya never thought she'd go to Izana for something other than money, especially after knowing everything he'd done, especially after watching him order his men to torture her former employers to death.

It was all because it was so nice being comforted by a man who was cruel to everyone else.

Izana pulls her impossibly closer to his chest. The tension in the car was palpable, each mile stretching the silence as they made their way back to the apartment. Izana held Maya securely, his thumb tracing soothing circles on her bare knee while his other arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Despite the chaotic swirl of emotions, she found herself relaxing into his embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear acting as a grounding anchor.

When they finally reached the apartment, Shion and Kakucho quickly exited the car to ensure the area was secure. Izana gently shifted Maya, preparing to carry her inside. "It's okay," she murmured, trying to stand on her own, but her legs were shaky, and she had to lean on Izana for support.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, bunny," Izana said softly, lifting her effortlessly into his arms. "Let me take care of you."

Maya didn't protest further, resting her head against his shoulder as he carried her into the building. Once inside, they were greeted by a heightened security presence. Izana's men were everywhere, scanning the surroundings with keen eyes, their postures alert and ready for any potential threat. The usual quiet luxury of the apartment now felt like a fortress under siege.

Even in the elevator, he doesn't put her down, carrying Maya bridal style, no longer caring who sees. Izana carried her to the living room and gently placed her on the couch in his penthouse. "Listen to me, Maya," he said, his voice firm yet gentle as he kneeled in front of her "I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. But you need to stay vigilant. Don't go anywhere without Shion or Kakucho or any of my top men. Shion, Kakucho, Ran, Rindo, Mochi— only them. Understand?"

Maya nodded, her heart pounding. "I understand," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Izana stood up and turned to Kakucho and Shion, who had just entered the room. "I want a full sweep of the building. No one gets in or out without my explicit permission," he ordered, his tone brooking no argument.

Shion nodded, his expression serious. "Got it, boss."

Maya watched as he moved with a sense of purpose, directing his men and checking the locks. Shion and Kakucho were by his side, their expressions mirroring his seriousness. She felt a pang of guilt for being the cause of such turmoil but reminded herself that Izana's world had always been dangerous. She was just more aware of it now.

Izana directs more of his men to her apartment as well to do a sweep of her place too. Maya just watches, fingers curled into her dress. Once it seems like Izana has given his men enough orders, he crouches down in front of her again down on one knee. It's an odd sight to see a man so powerful kneeling, let alone being kind. "How about you stay up here tonight..." Izana murmurs as he begins to unstrap her heels from her feet

He isn't asking but Maya tires to protest anyway. "You don't have to—"

As expected, he doesn't let her protest either. 

A week passes like that. Maya stays in Kakucho's room and Izana refuses to let her leave the penthouse without any of them. Now, had she been your typical dark romance novel female lead, Maya would be begging to leave and get out. But no. Maya grew up all alone, having to provide for herself. Here, in this huge penthouse owned by scary gangsters with the country under their boot, she didn't have to lift a single finger. It was honestly amazing if you ignore the current threat to her life. 

During that week, Maya settled into an unexpected routine of luxury and security, a stark contrast to her previous life. She had her meals prepared, her every need attended to, and she could actually relax, albeit under constant surveillance. Despite the danger, she found herself growing more comfortable with Izana and his men, even if the circumstances were far from normal.

One evening, as she sat on the balcony of the penthouse, watching the sunset over the city, Izana joined her. He handed her a glass of wine, and they sat in companionable silence for a few moments. The orange and pink hues of the sky reflected off the glass buildings, casting a warm glow over everything. "You seem more at ease," Izana observed, taking a sip of his drink.

Maya glanced at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I guess I am. It's strange, isn't it? Feeling safe in a place surrounded by danger."

Izana nodded, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "Danger is relative. In my world, safety is a luxury we create, not something we find."

Maya pondered his words, understanding the depth behind them. She had seen firsthand the lengths Izana went to ensure her protection, and she couldn't deny the sense of security that came with his presence. "Thank you, Izana," she said softly, turning to look at him. "For everything."

Izana's gaze met hers, a rare, genuine warmth in his eyes. "You're welcome, bunny. But I must say this is my fault. I should have known the consequences of bringing a civilian along with me everywhere. Of course someone was going to put a hit on you"

Maya just shakes her. Of course, Izana was right but she wouldn't outright say that to him. "Also" Izana continues "There is a party on Friday. I'd like you to come with me"

And Maya agrees. What's the worst that could happen?

Later that night, as Maya prepared for bed, there was a soft knock on her door. She opened it to find Kakucho standing there, his usual stoic expression softened by concern. "Just wanted to check on you," he said simply.

Maya smiled, touched by his gesture. "I'm okay, Kakucho. Thanks for asking."

He nodded, lingering for a moment as if unsure whether to say more. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me," he finally said, his voice gentle.

"I will," Maya replied, appreciating the support from him and the others. She watched as Kakucho left, feeling a strange mix of emotions. This life of danger and luxury was a far cry from the one she had known, but she was adapting in ways she hadn't expected.

As she lay in bed, thoughts swirling in her mind, Maya couldn't help but reflect on how much her life had changed in such a short time. She had gone from a struggling therapist to a woman under the protection of one of the most powerful and dangerous men in the city. And yet, amidst the chaos, she had found a semblance of peace, even if it was fragile and fleeting.

The days continued in a similar fashion, with Maya growing more accustomed to her new reality. She found herself laughing more with Shion and Kakucho, enjoying their company despite the circumstances. Izana remained a constant, his presence both commanding and comforting. 

Soon comes Friday, the day of the party Izana was talking about.

Maya stood in front of the full-length mirror in Kakucho's room, adjusting the strap of the elegant dress Izana had chosen for her. It was a deep blue in the same shade as her eyes, accentuating her figure without being too revealing. The fabric felt luxurious against her skin, a stark reminder of the opulence she had been thrust into. "Are you ready?" Izana's voice came from the doorway. 

She turned to see him leaning against the frame, looking impeccable in a tailored suit. His eyes held a mix of pride and something deeper that she couldn't quite place. "Almost," she replied, taking a deep breath. "How do I look?"

"Perfect," Izana said, stepping forward and offering his arm. "Shall we?"

Maya took his arm, feeling a rush of nerves and excitement. She was stepping into a world that was both fascinating and terrifying, but with Izana by her side, she felt an unexpected surge of confidence. As they descended to the lobby, Shion and Kakucho were already waiting, dressed sharply in suits. They both gave her approving nods, a silent reassurance that she was part of their inner circle tonight.

The drive to the party was relatively quiet, the tension in the air more anticipatory than fearful. Maya couldn't help but wonder what kind of people attended these events and what role she was expected to play. When they arrived, the venue was a sprawling mansion on the outskirts of the city, its grandeur illuminated by an array of lights. The driveway was lined with expensive cars, and elegantly dressed guests milled about, sipping champagne and exchanging pleasantries. Izana led Maya inside, his hand resting possessively on her lower back. As they entered the grand hall, Maya was struck by the sheer opulence of the place. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the room. Tables were adorned with lavish floral arrangements, and a string quartet played softly in the background. "Stay close to me," Izana whispered in her ear, his breath warm against her skin. "And remember, you're here as my guest. No one will dare harm you while you're with me."

Maya nodded, her heart pounding. She clung to Izana's side, observing the room and its occupants. There were people of all ages, mingling and chatting, but she could sense the underlying tension. This was not just a social event; it was a gathering of power players, each with their own agendas. As they made their way through the crowd, several people approached Izana, exchanging polite greetings and respectful nods. He introduced Maya as his companion, and she noticed the curious glances and whispers that followed them. "Izana, my friend," a smooth voice interrupted their progress. Maya turned to see a tall, impeccably dressed man with a predatory smile. "It's been too long."

"Takeda," Izana replied, his tone polite but guarded. "Good to see you."

Takeda's gaze shifted to Maya, his eyes narrowing slightly. "And who is this lovely lady?"

"This is Kaneko Maya," Izana said, his grip on her tightening slightly. "She's with me."

Takeda nodded, his smile never wavering. "A pleasure to meet you, Maya. I hope you're enjoying the evening."

"I am, thank you," Maya replied, her voice steady despite the unease she felt.

As Takeda moved on, Izana leaned in close. "Be careful around him. He's not to be trusted."

Maya nodded, grateful for the warning. The evening continued, a whirlwind of introductions and conversations. Maya did her best to remember names and faces, but it was overwhelming. Izana never left her side, his presence a constant source of reassurance. At one point, they stepped out onto a terrace overlooking the gardens. The cool night air was a welcome relief from the crowded room, and Maya took a moment to breathe deeply, trying to calm her racing heart. "Are you holding up okay?" Izana asked, his eyes searching hers.

Maya nodded. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm managing."

Izana smiled, his expression softening. "You're doing great. Just a little longer, and then we can leave."

Before she could respond, the sound of raised voices drew their attention back to the ballroom. Izana's body tensed, and he quickly led her inside, his demeanour shifting to one of alertness. As they entered, they saw a group of men gathered near the center of the room, their argument growing more heated. Izana motioned for Shion and Kakucho, who immediately moved to flank him, ready for whatever might happen. Maya stood close to Izana, her heart pounding as the situation escalated. She could feel the tension in the room, the eyes of the guests watching intently. Izana stepped forward, his presence commanding attention. "Gentlemen," he said, his voice calm but authoritative. "Is there a problem?"

The men turned to face him, their expressions wary. One of them, a burly man with a scar across his cheek, spoke up. "Just a disagreement, Kurokawa-san. Nothing to worry about."

Izana's eyes narrowed slightly. "Make sure it stays that way. This is not the place for conflicts."

The man nodded, backing down. The tension in the room eased slightly, and the guests began to return to their conversations, though the air was still charged with an undercurrent of unease. Izana turned back to Maya, his expression softening. "Let's get out of here. We've had enough excitement for one night."

Maya nodded, grateful for the escape. As they made their way to the exit, she couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and exhaustion. The night had been a glimpse into a world she was only beginning to understand, and she knew it was just the beginning. It's as they reach the car parked outside the venue someone shouts for them to stop. It all happens too fast. You see a man in a trench coat pull something shiny. Her body moves almost on instinct as she pushes Izana out of the line of fire. The next thing she knows she's on the ground on her knees. 

Maya kneels on the cold pavement, the searing pain in her arm confirming what her mind struggled to process: she had been shot. Chaos erupted around her as Izana's men sprang into action, surrounding her and Izana with drawn weapons. She could hear Shion shouting orders, his voice a distant roar in the growing haze of her consciousness. She touches her arm and sees blood on her hands. She looks up and sees Izana staring down at her in shock. Maya thinks Izana is about to say something but before he can, she passes out. 

The smell of antiseptic is something Maya got used to after staying in the hospital for a week. The sterile environment of the hospital room was a stark contrast to the chaos of the events that had landed Maya there. She lay in the hospital bed, her arm bandaged and elevated, the pain dulled by medication but still present. Izana sat beside her, his expression unreadable as he watched over her. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice quiet.

Maya shifted slightly, wincing at the movement. "Sore," she admitted, her voice hoarse from disuse. "But I'll survive."

Izana's gaze softened, a rare vulnerability in his eyes. "You saved my life," he said softly, his tone tinged with something akin to awe.

Maya shook her head, dismissing his praise. "I just reacted. Anyone would have done the same."

Izana reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Not anyone," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You're special, Maya. You have a courage and strength that few possess."

Maya felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words, a sense of validation she hadn't expected. She had always seen herself as ordinary, unremarkable even, but hearing Izana's praise made her feel seen in a way she hadn't before. "Thank you," she murmured, her eyes meeting his. "For everything."

Izana nodded, his hand lingering on her cheek. "I should be the one thanking you," he said, his thumb tracing a gentle circle on her skin. "You've changed everything for me."

Maya felt a surge of emotion welling up inside her, a mix of gratitude and something deeper that she couldn't quite name. She reached out, taking Izana's hand in hers, their fingers intertwining. She's about to say something but then Izana pulls his hand out of her grasp. "Just before I forget"

In the blink of an eye, the gold Cartier love bracelet is locked back on her wrist. She hadn't even realized it was taken off. Maya raises her brow in amusement. "That's a priority for you?" She asks as he pockets the screwdriver

Izana just grins. "Of course it is bunny"

Maya laughs softly. "Keep the screwdriver safe, I couldn't find it last time and had it on for months"

Izana simply nods.

He doesn't give it to her. 

A few days after Maya is discharged, Izana quite literally carries her to his room. While she insisted she could walk, Izana also insisted on carrying her. "Wait, why your room?" Maya asks as he sets her down on his bed

"hm, I thought it was time to give Kakucho his room back" Izana says simply as he removes his suit jacket

"Could've just left me in my apartment too" She tells him "it's literally right under this one"

Izana's eyes flashed with a mix of amusement and something more possessive as he hung his suit jacket on the back of a chair. "I want you close, Maya. You know that."

Maya sighed, knowing any further argument would be futile. Izana was nothing if not stubborn, especially when it came to her safety. She looked around his room, noting the minimalistic yet luxurious decor, a stark contrast to her own apartment. "Fine," she conceded, leaning back against the plush pillows. "But you're making a habit of this."

Izana's lips curved into a small smile as he unbuttoned his shirt cuffs. "Perhaps I am," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her. "But it’s a habit I have no intention of breaking."

Maya watched him, feeling a mixture of exasperation and affection. The week in the hospital had been an emotional rollercoaster, and now, back in the penthouse, she felt a sense of surreal calm. Despite the danger, despite the chaos, she had found a strange comfort in Izana's presence. Maya sighed, knowing better than to argue with him. Despite the lingering pain in her arm, she felt a strange sense of security in his room. It was luxurious, just like the rest of the penthouse, but it also had a personal touch that reflected Izana’s taste—minimalist, with dark tones and high-end finishes. As Izana busied himself with something on his desk, Maya settled into the plush bed, sinking into the soft comforter. She felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her, the events of the past weeks catching up. Izana returned to her side, a glass of water in hand. "Here, take these," he said, handing her a couple of painkillers.

Maya took the pills, grateful for the relief they promised. She downed them with a sip of water, then handed the glass back to Izana. "Thank you," she murmured, leaning back against the pillows.

Izana sat on the edge of the bed, watching her with an intensity that made her heart skip a beat. His hand comes up, slow and careful to cup her cheek and before she knows it, their lips have locked together. Maya's mind swirled with the mixture of sensations—Izana’s firm yet gentle touch, the warmth of his lips, and the undeniable chemistry that had been building between them. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the kiss, a momentary escape from the chaos that had become her life. When they finally pulled apart, both were slightly breathless. Izana’s thumb brushed against her cheek, his gaze unwavering. “You’re incredible, you know that?” he murmured, his voice filled with a rare softness.

Maya smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. “I don’t know about that,” she replied, her voice shaky yet filled with sincerity. 

Izana leans in and kisses her again, this time more eager and a little more aggressive. Maya's pulse quickened as Izana's kiss deepened, his lips demanding and passionate. She responded in kind, her hands moving up to tangle in his hair. The intensity of the moment was electrifying, every touch sending shivers down her spine. Izana's hand slid from her cheek to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Maya felt herself melting into him, her worries and fears momentarily forgotten in the heat of the kiss. When they finally broke apart, both were breathing heavily, their foreheads resting against each other.

“Izana,” Maya whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “What are we doing?”

Izana's eyes bore into hers, a mix of desire and determination. “What feels right,” he replied, his thumb brushing over her lips before he kisses her again

Maya's head swam with a whirlwind of emotions as Izana's lips met hers once more. The intensity of his kiss, the possessiveness in his touch, made her feel more alive than she had ever felt before. Every sensation was heightened, every touch electrifying, as they surrendered to the moment. As their kiss deepened, Maya's hands roamed over Izana's back, feeling the taut muscles beneath his shirt. His hands were no less explorative, tracing the contours of her body with a mix of tenderness and fervour. The world outside his room faded away, leaving just the two of them, entwined in a passionate embrace. It's right then that as they kiss, Izana takes her hands and starts wrapping something around her wrists. She pulls away. "I-Izana?"

"You're so pretty" He murmurs, a look of excitement in his eyes

Maya's gaze shifted between him and her wrists which he was currently tying together with his necktie, the ache in her shoulder now turned to numbness. When did he take his tie off? "Izana..." She tries saying as he loops the silk around her wrists once more

"Shhh..." He coos and presses a kiss to her forehead "It's gon' be fine. Won't be too rough with you, I know your shoulder hurts"

But it wasn't about the damn bullet wound and Maya wasn't sure how to explain it to him. "N-No wait Izana—" He finishes tying her wrists together and lowers her back onto the bed

Izana stops when he sees her panicked state. His fingers clench around the silk that binds her wrists together. "hm?"

Maya looks up at him, wide watery eyes. His heart melts. "I'm a virgin"

In an instant, the necktie is slid off her wrists but Izana makes no move to get off her. "Do you trust me?" he whispers, lips meet her cheek

With those four words, the months she has spent with Izana play through her head like a movie being played on fast forward. From the day they first met till now, Maya knows how absolutely scary most of the situations she was put into. Hell, she almost died too. Maya's heart raced as she looked into Izana's eyes, searching for any hint of deceit or malice. But all she found was sincerity, a genuine concern that made her want to believe him. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside her. "Yes," she whispered, her voice barely audible

And Izana smiles, his lips meeting her's in another kiss.

It's about 8 am when Maya wakes up. The night before had been... Eventful. Of course, that was one way to describe it. After Izana had taken her virginity they showered together. She's wearing her own pyjama pants but one of Izana's shirts that he didn’t bother helping her button up. Maya stares up and the ceiling, lying on her back as Izana lays next to her with an arm around her waist, still asleep. 

Maya couldn't help but feel a swirl of conflicting emotions as she lay there in the early morning light, wrapped in Izana's shirt and tangled up with him in his bed. She felt a strange mix of vulnerability and comfort, a sense of intimacy she had never experienced before. Part of her wanted to stay there forever, cocooned in this moment of peace and connection. But another part of her was filled with uncertainty, unsure of what this newfound closeness with Izana meant for their relationship.

As she gazed at him sleeping beside her, she couldn't help but marvel at the contrast between the man she had come to know and the one she had feared when they first met. Izana seemed almost... vulnerable in his sleep, his usual guarded facade softened by the peaceful expression on his face. Maya reached out, tracing the line of his jaw with her fingertips, memorizing every contour and angle.

Maya pulls her hand back and slips out of bed without waking him. Her arm was aching again and there was no more water in the glass on the bedside table. She cradles her injured arm to her chest as she walks through the empty penthouse toward the kitchen. Maya fills herself a glass of water and leans against the kitchen island as she drinks. The events of the past weeks replayed in Maya's mind like a movie, each scene more surreal than the last. She couldn't quite believe how much her life had changed since she first met Izana. From being a struggling psychiatrist to now being entangled in a world of danger and luxury, it was a journey she never could have imagined. As she stood there in the quiet of the kitchen, Maya couldn't shake the feeling of uncertainty that gnawed at her. Her relationship with Izana had taken a sudden and unexpected turn, and she wasn't sure where they stood now. Did last night change everything, or was it just a momentary lapse in judgment? "Oh well" she thinks 

Just as she's about the head back to Izana's room, something on the counter catches her eye. Oh. It was the screwdriver for the bracelet Izana gave her. Maya picks it up. She couldn't find hers for months after Izana put the bracelet on her. She stares down at the bracelet and then puts the screwdriver in place which then unlocks it. Just as she's about to pull it off, someone speaks up. "Kaneko... Maya...?" a voice says startling her

She turned around fast, the bracelet slipping off her wrist easily now that it was unlocked. Standing a little too close for comfort is a man with pale skin, black bottomless pits as eyes and black messy long hair. He stares at her for a moment and Maya attempts to take a step back only for her back to hit the counter. "huh..." he mutters, looking at her up and down, watching Maya cradle her injured arm to her chest

He crouches down and picks up the Cartier Bracelet off the floor. "Didn't think aniki would let you walk around the place so freely like this" he murmurs as he examines the bracelet

Aniki? Oh. "You're.... Sano Manjiro"

This was Izana's younger brother. The leader of Tokyo Manji Gang. "In the flesh" Manjiro says and looks at her "But I prefer Mikey"

She just nods, keeping her arm cradled to her chest and also trying to cover up her bralette which was exposed since she hadn't buttoned up her shirt before leaving Izana's room. "Nice to finally meet the girl that's got my brother's attention" Manjiro— Mikey— says

Maya lets out a shaky exhale. "Nice to meet you too, Mikey," Maya replied, trying to keep her voice steady despite the nerves churning in her stomach. 

She couldn't shake the feeling of being under scrutiny, especially from someone as formidable as Izana's brother. He exudes power in the same way as Izana. Although she can't help but notice they don't look alike at all. "Um can—"

"you know," Mikey starts, cutting her off as he fiddles with the bracelet "owners usually don't give their pets the key to their collar"

Maru furrows her brows at his words. "um... Excuse me?"

Mikey looks up at her with a smirk, his gaze piercing. "You heard me," he says, his tone casual yet filled with underlying tension. "You're wearing Izana's collar, aren't you?"

Maya's heart skips a beat, her mind racing as she tries to process his words. She glances down at the bracelet in his hand, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. "It's just a bracelet," she replies, her voice defensive.

Mikey raises an eyebrow, a knowing glint in his eyes. "Is it now?" he says, his smirk widening

He turns the gold love bracelet over and shows her the inside of it. Maya felt her stomach churn uncomfortably at the sight of what was engraved onto the inside. It was a common thing. Cartier offered a service that allowed you to get what you wanted engraved on the inside of certain rings and bracelets. But this certainly wasn't what she expected. 

Engraved on the inside of the bracelet is 

property of Kurokawa Izana

notes: ngl, I'm not super satisfied with this chapter but oh well, it's a bonus anyway. It's super fast pace, I know but it's a bonus for a reason and I kinda lost interest in writing the smut so I just left it off. Have I ever mentioned I hate writing smut which is why none of my one-shots have smut. but anyways, I hope you enjoyed :)

This is a wrap to Dead Girl's Beach and thank you so much for reading <3

special thanks to: @mysouleaten @yaya4thawin @piroporopo @reiners-milkbiddies @bontensbabygirl @tenjikusstuff4 @fairey555 @haikyuusboringassmanager @firstdivisiongirl @bakuhoethotski @xoxowhateveroxox @maraya-007 @dolfiins-art @short-cxke @milky-aeons @asirensrage @blueblazecrusade @brisssaaa009 @m-ilkiee

[hayleythecannibal]

Twisted Minds: Chapter Eight Fromage

TW: Crime scenes, Gore, Medical Gore/injury, Death, Kissing

Warning this is Fem!reader. You can also find this on Wattpad and A03 under the name @HayleyMarieOfficial. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @punkin-time @miaowkitty

Twisted Minds Masterlist

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT -

WILL GRAHAM lies with dogs, enjoying three fingers of juice. The SPACE HEATER in the fireplace emits a warm halo around the pack as Will works over the innards of the boat motor. Will stops working, listening. He eyes the dogs, they don't react, going about their leisure. Will returns to work. A distant, almost imperceptible CRY. Will stops again. He glances at the dogs, they still don't react. Another WIMPER. Just as far away, but louder. Whatever it is, it's desperate. Will stands, shrugs on a coat and grabs a flashlight.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT -

Will walks onto the front porch, closing the door so the dogs can't follow him. He listens. An even more frantic CRY. Will hurries off the porch in the direction of the distress.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FIELD - NIGHT -

Will wades into the darkness, his flashlight growing fainter. The crying is more intense now. It rises and falls, growing louder and softer as Will searches, wincing at the horrible sound of the high-pitched, fear-induced whines. Then a sudden quiet. Will holds his breath, listening, shining his flashlight in the direction of the last, sad whimper. Nothing. He stands there a moment, unsure what to do.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FIELD - MORNING -

As Will scans the forest floor around him, Y/N is searching the underbrush, as well. "If it wasn't a coyote, the coyotes probably got it. Probably got it even if it was a coyote." Will says as he scans the area, and then looks at me. "You're not expecting to find it alive, are you?" I ask curiously,  "We'll be lucky to find a paw." he scoffs and looks back around the forest. "If I knew we were looking for a paw, I'd've been looking closer." I laugh softly and continue looking. "I just want to get rid of anything that might attract predators."  He says "You invited me over to help you collect animal parts?" I smirk amusedly, kinda sad it wasn't just so we could hang out. "I invited you over on the off chance we find it alive. Hard to wrangle a wounded animal by myself. Did you think it was a date?" He says as he shakes his head 'no' "Honestly, it never crossed my mind." I lie, Will is at first relieved, then almost disappointed. "Why not?"

"You just don't seem like you date." I say honestly, "Too broken to date." he says with some good natured teasing and a hand over his heart.  "You're not broken. You're puzzled." I say smiling kindly and looking over at him. "I am puzzled. What's your excuse?" He asks with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, i take in a deep breath "For not dating? Why are you assuming I don't date?" I ask letting out the breath chuckling.  "Do you?" "No. Never found anyone worth dating, because of the last time. But I'm sure I'll find that somebody or somebodies some day but right now I overthink too much. And Analyze too much." I say laughing softly, "It's hard to date when you notice everything they do and have a pretty good idea why they do it." He laughs with me, i nod and take in another deep breath. "I get that. Worse than dating a psychiatrist and Criminal Profiler is being a psychiatrist  and Criminal Profile dating."

"Are you going to try to find that person or people, or are you gonna let them find you?" Will asks me, i look at him "I haven't thought about it." Will stops, puzzling over the icy underbrush around them. "See something?" I stop and turn to face him, Will glances around, making certain before he answers: "No, actually. I don't even see any tracks. Except the ones we made."

CONCERT HALL - AUDITORIUM - DAY -

The Dead Man sits in a kneeling ergonomic chair duct-taped to a back brace that holds him in an upright position. his mouth is agape, broken teeth, head held upright by the NECK OF A VIOLIN jammed down his gullet. His throat is OPEN, cut horizontally below the Adam's apple and vertically down the middle splayed open as if for dissection, the flaps of flesh affixed to metal rings. Y/N, Will, and Jack walk down the aisle, approaching the corpse, curious. VARIOUS POLICE OFFICERS, F.B.I., BRIAN ZELLER, JIMMY PRICE and BEVERLY KATZ stand near the LOBBY DOORS, observing. "Victim is Douglas Wilson, member of the Baltimore Metropolitan Orchestra. Brass section. Trombone player." Jack briefs the two Profilers "Low brass. Was he any good?"  Will asks Y/N curiously,  She shrugs. "He was killed sometime after his last performance. Blunt force trauma to the back of the head." Jack says ignoring What Will was saying, "His killer brought him back here to put on a show." Y/N says tilting her head, "Got some idea about who'd do this?" Jack asks Will as Will shakes two aspirin out of bottle, tosses them back. "I may be courting that feeling that precedes an idea."

"Seems like it's getting easier for you to look." Jack says turning around to look at Will and Y/N. "I tell myself it's purely an intellectual exercise." Will shrugs, "In the narrow definition of forensics, that's what it is."

"But it's not getting easier, Jack. I shake it off and keep looking." Will says pointedly, Y/N knows more than anyone how Will feels, She herself finds it hard not to take home what she sees and feels at work.

"Good. You shake it off. You're all wired. I'll come back in when you tell me." Jack turns, climbing down from the stage. A POLICE OFFICER pulls the AUDITORIUM DOORS CLOSED behind Jack. The other SET OF DOORS are CLOSED by another LOCAL POLICE OFFICER. Will and Y/N are now alone with each other and their minds. He crosses the stage, circles the Dead Man. He takes a breath, exhales, then closes his eyes. A PENDULUM It swings in the darkness of Will Graham's mind, keeping rhythm with his heart beat. FWUM. FWUM. He walks backward, away from the Dead Man, toward the lip of the stage. He climbs down and sits in the front row. FWUM. The PENDULUM is now outside Will's head. FWUM. FWUM. It SWINGS through FRAME, bringing down the HOUSE LIGHTS, plunging the seats of the auditorium into relative darkness. Will watches the BOUND and GAGGED MAN secured to the chair. The soon-to-be-Dead Man struggles against his bindings as Will emerges from the darkness and brings down a mallet on the back of his head, knocking his head violently forward. "I open the throat from the outside. Three incisions, one to bleed him, second to open the trachea and a third to expose the vocal chords." Will makes the incisions, slicing out a disc of trachea.

"I open the throat from inside with the neck of a violin." Will places a VIOLIN NECK into the Dead Man's open mouth, pushing it down his neck, until he can see the end of it through the opening he's made. This draws Will's attention to the powdery white residue on the victim's throat. "Powder on the wounds." He looks out on the meticulously designed acoustic space. "It's rosin from a bow." Will stands behind the corpse holding a string bow, "I wanted to play him. I wanted to create a sound." He raises the bow to the dead man's open throat. "This sound wasn't for you or from you. It was from me. My sound. This is my design." He runs the bow across the exposed and presented vocal chords, wrapped around the small end of the HEARING HORN intubator, emitting a single chilling note. "I give voice to death." over the auditorium as Will Graham bows the dead man's throat creating an eerie, incandescent sound......until WILL FINDS GARRET JACOB HOBBS sitting alongside a deathly pale Y/N. Will abruptly stops playing, then realizes no one else is there Besides Y/N

B.A.U. - MORGUE - DAY -

Beverly Katz uses magnifying goggles as she examines the open throat wounds with a small plastic instrument. Brian Zeller leans over the exposed vocal chords. Jimmy Price cranes his neck to get a better look over both their shoulders. Will Graham maintains a short distance from the body, hovering nearby. "Played him like a fiddle." Beverly says ironically, "Doesn't seem like he was playing". Jimmy says eyeing the body. Beverly rolls her eyes, "Along with rosin powder, we found sodium carbonate, sulfur dioxide, lye and olive oil in the wounds." She lists off what they found. "What's up with the olive oil?" Zeller asks confused, "He wasn't making a salad." Jimmy says sarcastically. "Removed anything non-muscular or fatty around the vocal folds. Chords themselves have been treated with a sulfur dioxide solution." Zeller points to the vocal folds on the body. Beverly plucks a very fine hair from the tissue. "Applied with a squirrel hair brush. Of squirrel, not for squirrel." Beverly says because of Zeller's confused face."Sulfur dioxide had the effect of hardening the vocal chords." Jimmy says, From across the room, Will looks closely at the Dead Man.

"Made them easier to play." Will says as he starts to disassociate, ALL SOUND IS DULLED and finally over-taken by the sustained CHORD he struck earlier playing the Dead Man's throat. Will winces at the din of sound growing in his head. He focuses through it, staring at the Dead Man on the table, then: "Had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you." Y/N says in a bitter tone as she walks in, SOUND RETURNS TO NORMAL as Zeller, Price and Katz give Y/N a slow glance as she walks into the room. Will shakes off the ringing tone in his ears. "You pick it up and can't play it, he'll put you down and play you." Beverly says looking at Y/N, who looks like she had a rough night.  "He took the time to whiten the vocal chords before he played them. That's not very contemptuous." Zeller says raising an eyebrow. "It wasn't about whitening them. It was about increasing elasticity." Will says as he re-associates and looks at Y/N, he doesn't show his concern but he sure as hell feels it.

"He's treating the vocal chords the same way you'd treat catgut string. Yes, I played the violin." Beverly says crossing her arms and rolling her eyes playfully.  "We should be looking at musicians, people who make instruments, anyone who had a ticket to his last show." Will says as Y/N stares at the human instrument on the morgue table. "This takes a steady hand. A confidence. He's killed before."Y/N says softly, her voice strained and slightly gravelly.

"Like this?" Jimmy asks curiously, "Not like this. This is a skilled musician trying a new instrument." She replies, then looks over at Will. Their Blue eyes clashing, like two oceans finding a midpoint where they overlap. Y/N smiles softly and Feels the butterflies that love to flutter whenever Will is around...

HANNIBAL'S OFFICE - DAY -

Hannibal studies a pensive Will Graham and a Disassociated Dr. Y/N L/N as he observes: "Among the first musical instruments were flutes carved from human bone." "This murder was a performance." Y/N says recalling what she felt and saw (or 'imagined). For Y/N had once been in love with the stage, until her Mother had banned her from doing what helped her escape reality. "Every life is a piece of music. Like music, we are finite events, unique arrangements. Sometimes harmonious, sometimes dissonant." Hannibal says as he studies every movement the two profilers make. "Sometimes not worth hearing again." Will says causing both Y/N and Hannibal to look at him, they both know something is up with him. "He's a poet and a psychopath." Hannibal states in a tone neither partner can recognize.

"And a craftsman. He was shrinking and tanning the vocal chords." Will says as he walks around Hannibal's office, He comes up next to Y/N and places a Hand on the small of her back gently, Hannibal watches the pair curiously: "Like turning iron wire into musical steel string. Was there olive oil?" "Yes." Y/N says quietly as she blankly stares at the painting in front of her, trying to focus on anything but Will's hands on her. "Whatever sound he was trying to produce, it was an authentic one."

"Authentic?"

"Olive oil hasn't been used in the production of catgut for over a century. It was said to increase the life of the strings and create a sweeter, more melodic sound." That doesn't sit well with Will. "I can hear what he was playing behind my eyes, when I close them."

"What do you see behind closed eyes?" Will considers how to answer Hannibal's question, then decides to do it honestly: "I see myself." Hannibal ponders the deeper meaning of that, studying Will: "You said the killer was performing. Who was he performing for?" "I don't know. Patron of the arts. Fellow musician. Or another killer." Will says and walks towards another piece of art in Hannibal's large office.

"It's a serenade." Hannibal says  "One night only." Y/N says Turning around and looking at him.  "No repeat performance?"

"This isn't how he kills. How he kills, he doesn't get caught."

"You believe he risked getting caught for a serenade?" Hannibal looks at the Two.

"I believe he wants to show someone how well he plays."

"Intriguing."

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT -

WILL GRAHAM ties a fly, hearing the distant strains of the haunting music from the amphitheater. Frustrated, he drops the hook, covers his ears, and the music fades. Then he hears a faint SCRATCHING noise. Will's eyes open, staring into middle distance as he listens. Another SCRATCH-SCRATCH. Will looks at the dogs, who sleep soundly. SCRATCH-SCRATCH. Will OPENS the front door and listens. SCRATCH. There's nothing outside. Will scans the front porch and yard before finally closing the door. SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH. The dogs still don't react, even as Will steps over them, searching for the source of the SCRATCHING in the house. Will approaches the chimney wall above the fireplace. He presses his ear against the brick and listens. Nothing. Then SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH and a gaping, jagged hole in a chimney, surrounded by ruptured plaster and dry wall.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT -

Dr. Y/N L/N, still wearing her coat, and Will Graham, covered in dust and soot, gazing in at the jagged hole in the chimney. The dogs are all resting on Will's bed on the other side of the room. "What kind of animal was it?" I ask looking at him, "Might've been a raccoon." Will says gazing back at me. "Might've been?" I raise an eyebrow, "By the time I knocked a hole in the chimney, it crawled out the top." Y/N Gazes at Will with care as surreptitiously as possible. Nevertheless Will notices her studied glance. "Well, at least it got out." I say as i move some of my hair behind my ear, "What are you doing out?" Will asks inching towards me as he looks me up and down. "Thought I'd make some noise and shoo away any predators at your door but looks like you were making plenty of noise all by yourself." I nudge a river rock part of the chimney's structure. Will eyes Y/N a moment, curious. "You avoided being in a room alone with me, essentially, since I met you. You were smooth about it, too." Will says coming closer and flexing his hand, I look him up and down taking a deep breath. "Evidently not smooth enough." I say taking another deep Breath. "Now you're making house calls." He says now in front of me and placing one of his hands on my cheek and the other on my waist. I close my eyes and take a shaky deep breath.

"It's just a drive-by. On my way home. Since we're partners." I say softly, "Yea, is that it?" Will says softly as he pulls her closer smirking and he brings his lips to hers in a KISS. Y/N's mind reels for a split second before she RETURNS THE KISS, Her hands holding his face as one of his holds hers. A moment of genuine, careless passion and then Y/N's brows furrow. She breaks off the kiss. "Will-" I say breathlessly, I look at will confused, Does he like me the way I like him? "You have to stop Overthinking so much." He says holding my face with such care and gentleness. "I can stop the thinking if we're not... But if we're..." I say softly trying to explain my feelings, "Intimate." He says placing his forehead against mine. "Will i- the last time i did this, let myself feel, Let myself be loved. It broke me. I don't want it to happen again." I say looking into his storm greyish blue eyes, "I wouldn't do that to you Y/N." He says running his hands through my hair, I eye the pile of debris in front of the fireplace. "What about work, this possibly could get us in trou-" He kisses me again. I don't resist, in fact I pull him closer, My hands going to the back of his neck and lacing into his hair. Will's kiss is more aggressive now and Y/N feels the heat rising in her and in them as well as their tongues meet and Will moves his hand into her hair. When Will finally takes his mouth off her she breathes deeply and looks at Will's loving gaze and looks at Will with her loving eyes. They both look at each other, slowly, and with care. Will leans forward and kisses Y/N again, more gentle this time and loving. She laughs softly and smiles as she looks up at him.

HANNIBAL'S HOME - MUD ROOM - NIGHT -

Hannibal OPENS the DOOR TO REVEAL Will Graham, shaking off his raincoat in the MUD ROOM. "I kissed Y/N." Will says abruptly. Hannibal blinks almost imperceptibly. "Come in."

HANNIBAL'S HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT 3-

Hannibal leads Will into the room, surreptitiously looking for Tobias. Will notices the half-eaten meals as Hannibal shuts the garden door, locks it and pulls the shades before Will can see the footsteps in the snow outside.

"Did you have a guest?"

"A colleague. You just missed him." Hannibal clears the plates with the half-eaten meals.

"Didn't finish his dinner."

"An urgent call of some sort. Had to leave suddenly. This benefits you because I have dessert for two."

HANNIBAL'S HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT -

Hannibal whisks whipped cream and tosses a dollop on two Ramekins overflowing with an exotic bread pudding. "Tell me, what was Y/N's reaction?"

"She kissed me back."  Will says with a tone that reads 'i cant believe it'.  "She kissed you back?" He raises an eyebrow. "I know. i cant believe it." Will says as he stands and watches Hannibal prepare the dessert "Wondering then why you kissed her and felt compelled to drive an hour in the snow to tell me about it."

"Well I've Wanted to kiss her since I met her. Shes very kissable."

"You waited a long time, which suggests you were kissing her for a reason in addition to wanting to." Hannibal Smirks softly.  "I heard an animal trapped in my chimney. I broke through the wall to get it out. Didn't find anything inside. Y/N showed up. She looked at me, maybe her face changed, I don't know. She knew." Will looks down as he said this. "What did she know, Will?" Hannibal asks as he plates the dessert with a dollop of whipped cream on top. "There wasn't an animal in the chimney. It was only in my head."

"Did she say that?"

"She didn't have to. I sleep walk. i get headaches. I'm hearing things. I feel unstable." Will walks closer to the counter.  "That's why you kissed her. A clutch for balance." Hannibal hands a plate of the Dessert to Will. "Not only Because I'm losing my mind. But because she understands me in a way no one else does, She is like a cool drink of water on a hot summers day. " Will sighs fondly at the thought of her. "You said it yourself what you do is not good for you. For either of you...."

"Unfortunately, I'm good for it. And so is Y/N."

"Are you still hearing this killer's serenade behind your eyes?" Hannibal asks,  Will nods "it's our song."         "I hesitate telling you this as it borders on a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality. I've never been in this position before. A patient told me today he suspects a friend of his may be involved with the murder at the symphony."

"What did he say about his friend?"Will asks curiously,  "He owns a music store in Baltimore, specializing in string instruments. Perhaps you should interview him."  Hannibal innocently sending Will and subsequently Y/N into the lion's den...

BEDELIA'S HOME OFFICE - DAY

Hannibal sits opposite Bedelia. "For the first time in a long while I see a possibility of friendship."

"Is there someone new in your life?"

"I met a man and a woman both much like myself, same hobbies, same world views. But I'm not interested in being Their friend. I'm curious about them and that got me curious about friendship." Hannibal smiles softly in a curious way. "Whose friendship are you considering?"

"Oddly enough, colleagues and patients. Not unlike how I am a colleague and patient of yours. We've discussed Them before."

"Will Graham And Dr. Y/N L/N. "

"They are nothing like me. We see the world in different ways, yet they can assume my point of view."

"By profiling the criminally insane?"

"As good a demonstration as any. I find it reassuring."

"It's nice to have someone see us,Hannibal. Or have the ability to see us. It requires trust. Trust isn't easy for you." Bedelia points out, something so obvious yet so vague when it comes to Hannibal. "You mean, behind the veil?" Hannibal asks, She stares -- that's exactly what she means. "You've helped me to better understand what I want in a friendship. And what I don't."

"Someone worthy of your friendship." The word "worthy" rings true for Hannibal. She can see it. "Yes."

"You spend a lot of time building walls, Hannibal. It's natural to want to see if anyone is clever enough to climb over them."

CHORDOPHONE STRING SHOP - DAY -

Will Graham and Dr. Y/N L/N are flanked by TWO LOCAL BALTIMORE POLICE OFFICERS as they approach the front door. The BELL above the door RINGS as Will and Y/N ENTER, followed by the TWO BALTIMORE POLICE OFFICERS - STEWART and DORMAU. Tobias is escorting the PRE-TEEN CELLO PLAYER seen earlier out from the parlor behind the storefront. "I'm Special Agent Will Graham and This is Dr. Y/N L/N" Will introduces us to the Owner of the shop. "Yes, Tobias Budge. I'm just showing one of my students out. Can you give me a moment?" Will nods. Tobias guides the Pre-Teen Cello Player out the door. "JSB's Suite #1 for Saturday." Mr. Budge says to his student, "Okay." the Pre-Teen Cello Player glances over his shoulder, then EXITS. Tobias turns back to Will Graham, Dr. Y/N L/N and the Police Officers. "What can I help you with?"

"We're investigating the death of Douglas Wilson. He was a --" I am interrupted, "The Trombonist." "Thats right, um Did you know him?" I ask, "I was aware of him. Baltimore's a small town and its cultural arts community is even smaller." Tobias adjusts a display cello, loosening the balance rod. "That's why we're here, Mr. Budge." Will says from beside me.

"I hear someone cut his throat and tried to play it with a bow." Mr. Budge says curiously with a sinister twinge to his tone. "Why do you say try?" I ask with curiousity and woefulness tainting my question. "Strings have to be treated. You can't just open somebody up and run a bow across their innards and expect to produce a sound." Will HEARS the familiar strains of the HAUNTING MELODY rising in his ears, trying to focus through it. "The vocal chords were chemically treated, similar to how catgut strings are treated. We kept those details out of the press." Will says.  "Looking for someone who knows how to manufacture gut strings?" Tobias asks keeping his eyes on Y/N and Will. "Anyone leap to mind?" Tobias hands Will a bundle of catgut strings, but he doesn't take his eyes off Tobias. Tobias is sensing his suspicion.

"Mine are imported from Italy. Best catgut is. The String section of the Baltimore Metropolitan Orchestra refuses to play anything else."

"More authentic." I say softly.

"A richer, darker sound. Allows music to say what words can't." Then a HORRIBLE SKIDDING NOISE from outside followed by a SICKENING THUMP and the PAINED CRY of a DOG. Will startles. "Something wrong?" Tobias questions, with a tilt of his head.

"Sounded like a dog got hit by a car. You didn't hear it?" Will says concernedly, i look at him and shake my head 'no' softly. "I didn't hear anything." Tobias and the other Police Officer shake their heads "no," they didn't hear anything either. Another WIMPERED CRY.

"Excuse me a minute." Tobias strums the strings of the cello he just straightened as he watches Will cross to the door and EXIT. Y/N following in suit behind him.

Will steps out of the shop and down the walkway, his eyes searching the street for any sign of a commotion or wounded animal. He sees nothing. He hears nothing. A PEDESTRIAN eyes Will and keeps moving. Y/N just watches Will with concern as he shakes out aspirin into his hand and tosses them back, swallowing hard. He rubs his forehead and squints at the snow, worried. Finally, he trudges back toward...

CHORDOPHONE STRINGS SHOP - DAY -

Will Graham And Dr. Y/N L/N REENTER and are quick to apologize. "Sorry about that. I --" The store is empty. Approaching the counter, he pauses. "Officers. Officers." Y/N calls out. Will simultaneously retrieves weapon and phone. Y/N Grabs her own firearm, following behind Will. "I need ERT at Chordophone Strings downtown Baltimore. Officers down."  Will and Y/N step behind the counter and slip into --

The private room for lessons seen earlier. Will and Y/N enter to find OFFICER STEWART tumbled over the piano bench, a CELLO ROD jammed under his neck through the top of his head. Then suddenly, Will hears a strange noise coming from a the depths of an obscured STAIRCASE. SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH...

Y/N Trying to decipher the sound. Guns out in front of Them, the partners move into the darkness of the stairs until it swallows them whole.

CHORDOPHONE STRING SHOP - BASEMENT -

They hug the wall. Waiting till their eyes adjust to the dim light of a single light bulb. But the smell tells them before their eyes can verify what their brains already knows. This is where Tobias Budge makes his own catgut strings. ROPES OF INTESTINES Running the length of the room, drying. Lying in long cleansing troughs of water. Cut strings lying in piles like pasta in pans on a table. An eerie and horrible MAZE OF STRINGS in various stages of treatment.

And then she hears it again. Scratch-scratch-scratch...It's coming from behind an opaque curtain hanging from the ceiling in the corner of the basement. Will approaches cautiously and then slips almost falling. Y/N keeps a watchful eye to their surroundings as they push forward.

He glances down to see what he stepped on. It is OFFICER DORMAU'S BADGE in a pool of blood.

Y/N throws back the curtain to find Officer Dormau on his knees, dangling forward, supported by a SERIES OF RAZOR SHARP WIRE STRINGS cutting DEEP INTO HIS FACE AND NECK. The Scratch-Scratch-Scratching SOUND was his intact hand swinging, rubbing against the cement floor -- while his severed and sliced hand whisks back and forth unobstructed. Scratch-scratch-scratch. Y/N doesn't allow herself to be distracted long, turning and scanning the area for any signs of Tobias Budge. A BLUR OF MOVEMENT out of the corner of Will's eye.

Tobias loops a MULTI-WIRED WEAPON (imagine a TWO BRASS KNUCKLES connected by FOUR RAZOR SHARP STRINGS) over Y/N's head. Y/N raises an arm defensively over her face and throat, but the STRINGS CUT into her regardless, She reels back her leg and rams it into the family jewels of Tobias Budge. He almost lets go but doesn't. Y/N continues to struggle and kick at Tobias' legs. Will's gun comes up, FIRING next to his own ear and blowing TOBIAS' ear off. The BANG is deafening, literally. Y/N's HEARING GOES DARK AND MUDDY, as she reels from the pain. He clutches his ear with his bloody hand, spinning to find Tobias clutching his own bloody ear. Will raises the gun to fire again and......Tobias is already moving, scurrying out of sight. BLAM! Will FIRES, missing Tobias and blowing a hole in the wall. BLAM! BLAM! Tobias quickly climbs the stairs and disappears. Y/N stands there a moment, shaking, as the RINGING in her ear is slowly replaced by the RINGING OF SIRENS.

Will rushes back over to his shaken partner, "Y/N, Honey are you okay?" He asks as he looks at her arm and then at her face. He gently takes her face into his hands as he looks her over. Other than her injuries, he sees nothing but her shaken posterior, and places a delicate kiss to her forehead. He lets out a Relieved sigh.

HANNIBAL'S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER -

Hannibal's office is now an ACTIVE CRIME SCENE. LOCAL POLICE OFFICERS, DETECTIVES and EMERGENCY RESPONDERS present. The corpses of Tobias and Franklyn lie sadly amongst the debris. Hannibal's being treated by a PARAMEDIC, bandaging his arm and tending to his other wounds. Hannibal stares into middle-distance until he sees Y/N and Will ENTER, Y/N's arm and neck are bandaged, Jack Crawford at their side. Will eyes the BLOODY STAG STATUE next to Tobias' dead body. Hannibal is visibly relieved to see Will and Y/N alive and well.

"Mr. Budge said he was questioned by the FBI and he murdered two people. I was worried you two were dead." Hannibal says with a relieved sigh. Y/N demonstrates her own wounded arm. "You had reason to worry." I smile softly, glad to see that he was okay as well. "Tobias Budge kills two Baltimore Police Officers, nearly kills two FBI Special Agents, and after all that his first stop is your office." Jack says curiously. "He came to kill my patient."

"Hannibal's patient told him he suspected a friend was involved with the murder at the symphony. Hannibal told me and I as well as Y/N investigated. I got him involved."

"Your patient. Is that who Tobias Budge was serenading?" I ask Hannibal. "I don't know. Franklyn knew more than he was telling me. He told Mr. Budge he didn't have to kill anymore. Then he broke Franklyn's neck. Then he attacked me." Hannibal says, as Jack nods; "And you killed him." Hannibal eyes with convincing sadness Franklyn's corpse as it is placed into a body bag and hoisted onto a gurney. "Yes."

"Could your patient've been involved with any of what Budge was doing?"

"I thought this was a simple matter of poor choice in friends." Jack eyes Hannibal a brief moment, then turns his attention to the crime scene and the TWO BODIES being wheeled out. "This doesn't feel simple." Jack moves off to study the crime scene as Y/N sits, taking gauze from a med-kit and dabbing Hannibal's bloody forehead. "I feel like me and Will have dragged you into our world." I say softly with compassion. Hannibal chuckles softly,  "I got here on my own. But I appreciate the company."

Smiles are exchanged in Will, Y/N, a

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT -

WILL GRAHAM lies with dogs, enjoying three fingers of juice. The SPACE HEATER in the fireplace emits a warm halo around the pack as Will works over the innards of the boat motor. Will stops working, listening. He eyes the dogs, they don't react, going about their leisure. Will returns to work. A distant, almost imperceptible CRY. Will stops again. He glances at the dogs, they still don't react. Another WIMPER. Just as far away, but louder. Whatever it is, it's desperate. Will stands, shrugs on a coat and grabs a flashlight.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT -

Will walks onto the front porch, closing the door so the dogs can't follow him. He listens. An even more frantic CRY. Will hurries off the porch in the direction of the distress.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FIELD - NIGHT -

Will wades into the darkness, his flashlight growing fainter. The crying is more intense now. It rises and falls, growing louder and softer as Will searches, wincing at the horrible sound of the high-pitched, fear-induced whines. Then a sudden quiet. Will holds his breath, listening, shining his flashlight in the direction of the last, sad whimper. Nothing. He stands there a moment, unsure what to do.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - FIELD - MORNING -

As Will scans the forest floor around him, Y/N is searching the underbrush, as well. "If it wasn't a coyote, the coyotes probably got it. Probably got it even if it was a coyote." Will says as he scans the area, and then looks at me. "You're not expecting to find it alive, are you?" I ask curiously,  "We'll be lucky to find a paw." he scoffs and looks back around the forest. "If I knew we were looking for a paw, I'd've been looking closer." I laugh softly and continue looking. "I just want to get rid of anything that might attract predators."  He says "You invited me over to help you collect animal parts?" I smirk amusedly, kinda sad it wasn't just so we could hang out. "I invited you over on the off chance we find it alive. Hard to wrangle a wounded animal by myself. Did you think it was a date?" He says as he shakes his head 'no' "Honestly, it never crossed my mind." I lie, Will is at first relieved, then almost disappointed. "Why not?"

"You just don't seem like you date." I say honestly, "Too broken to date." he says with some good natured teasing and a hand over his heart.  "You're not broken. You're puzzled." I say smiling kindly and looking over at him. "I am puzzled. What's your excuse?" He asks with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, i take in a deep breath "For not dating? Why are you assuming I don't date?" I ask letting out the breath chuckling.  "Do you?" "No. Never found anyone worth dating, because of the last time. But I'm sure I'll find that somebody or somebodies some day but right now I overthink too much. And Analyze too much." I say laughing softly, "It's hard to date when you notice everything they do and have a pretty good idea why they do it." He laughs with me, i nod and take in another deep breath. "I get that. Worse than dating a psychiatrist and Criminal Profiler is being a psychiatrist  and Criminal Profile dating."

"Are you going to try to find that person or people, or are you gonna let them find you?" Will asks me, i look at him "I haven't thought about it." Will stops, puzzling over the icy underbrush around them. "See something?" I stop and turn to face him, Will glances around, making certain before he answers: "No, actually. I don't even see any tracks. Except the ones we made."

CONCERT HALL - AUDITORIUM - DAY -

The Dead Man sits in a kneeling ergonomic chair duct-taped to a back brace that holds him in an upright position. his mouth is agape, broken teeth, head held upright by the NECK OF A VIOLIN jammed down his gullet. His throat is OPEN, cut horizontally below the Adam's apple and vertically down the middle splayed open as if for dissection, the flaps of flesh affixed to metal rings. Y/N, Will, and Jack walk down the aisle, approaching the corpse, curious. VARIOUS POLICE OFFICERS, F.B.I., BRIAN ZELLER, JIMMY PRICE and BEVERLY KATZ stand near the LOBBY DOORS, observing. "Victim is Douglas Wilson, member of the Baltimore Metropolitan Orchestra. Brass section. Trombone player." Jack briefs the two Profilers "Low brass. Was he any good?"  Will asks Y/N curiously,  She shrugs. "He was killed sometime after his last performance. Blunt force trauma to the back of the head." Jack says ignoring What Will was saying, "His killer brought him back here to put on a show." Y/N says tilting her head, "Got some idea about who'd do this?" Jack asks Will as Will shakes two aspirin out of bottle, tosses them back. "I may be courting that feeling that precedes an idea."

"Seems like it's getting easier for you to look." Jack says turning around to look at Will and Y/N. "I tell myself it's purely an intellectual exercise." Will shrugs, "In the narrow definition of forensics, that's what it is."

"But it's not getting easier, Jack. I shake it off and keep looking." Will says pointedly, Y/N knows more than anyone how Will feels, She herself finds it hard not to take home what she sees and feels at work.

"Good. You shake it off. You're all wired. I'll come back in when you tell me." Jack turns, climbing down from the stage. A POLICE OFFICER pulls the AUDITORIUM DOORS CLOSED behind Jack. The other SET OF DOORS are CLOSED by another LOCAL POLICE OFFICER. Will and Y/N are now alone with each other and their minds. He crosses the stage, circles the Dead Man. He takes a breath, exhales, then closes his eyes. A PENDULUM It swings in the darkness of Will Graham's mind, keeping rhythm with his heart beat. FWUM. FWUM. He walks backward, away from the Dead Man, toward the lip of the stage. He climbs down and sits in the front row. FWUM. The PENDULUM is now outside Will's head. FWUM. FWUM. It SWINGS through FRAME, bringing down the HOUSE LIGHTS, plunging the seats of the auditorium into relative darkness. Will watches the BOUND and GAGGED MAN secured to the chair. The soon-to-be-Dead Man struggles against his bindings as Will emerges from the darkness and brings down a mallet on the back of his head, knocking his head violently forward. "I open the throat from the outside. Three incisions, one to bleed him, second to open the trachea and a third to expose the vocal chords." Will makes the incisions, slicing out a disc of trachea.

"I open the throat from inside with the neck of a violin." Will places a VIOLIN NECK into the Dead Man's open mouth, pushing it down his neck, until he can see the end of it through the opening he's made. This draws Will's attention to the powdery white residue on the victim's throat. "Powder on the wounds." He looks out on the meticulously designed acoustic space. "It's rosin from a bow." Will stands behind the corpse holding a string bow, "I wanted to play him. I wanted to create a sound." He raises the bow to the dead man's open throat. "This sound wasn't for you or from you. It was from me. My sound. This is my design." He runs the bow across the exposed and presented vocal chords, wrapped around the small end of the HEARING HORN intubator, emitting a single chilling note. "I give voice to death." over the auditorium as Will Graham bows the dead man's throat creating an eerie, incandescent sound......until WILL FINDS GARRET JACOB HOBBS sitting alongside a deathly pale Y/N. Will abruptly stops playing, then realizes no one else is there Besides Y/N

B.A.U. - MORGUE - DAY -

Beverly Katz uses magnifying goggles as she examines the open throat wounds with a small plastic instrument. Brian Zeller leans over the exposed vocal chords. Jimmy Price cranes his neck to get a better look over both their shoulders. Will Graham maintains a short distance from the body, hovering nearby. "Played him like a fiddle." Beverly says ironically, "Doesn't seem like he was playing". Jimmy says eyeing the body. Beverly rolls her eyes, "Along with rosin powder, we found sodium carbonate, sulfur dioxide, lye and olive oil in the wounds." She lists off what they found. "What's up with the olive oil?" Zeller asks confused, "He wasn't making a salad." Jimmy says sarcastically. "Removed anything non-muscular or fatty around the vocal folds. Chords themselves have been treated with a sulfur dioxide solution." Zeller points to the vocal folds on the body. Beverly plucks a very fine hair from the tissue. "Applied with a squirrel hair brush. Of squirrel, not for squirrel." Beverly says because of Zeller's confused face."Sulfur dioxide had the effect of hardening the vocal chords." Jimmy says, From across the room, Will looks closely at the Dead Man.

"Made them easier to play." Will says as he starts to disassociate, ALL SOUND IS DULLED and finally over-taken by the sustained CHORD he struck earlier playing the Dead Man's throat. Will winces at the din of sound growing in his head. He focuses through it, staring at the Dead Man on the table, then: "Had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you." Y/N says in a bitter tone as she walks in, SOUND RETURNS TO NORMAL as Zeller, Price and Katz give Y/N a slow glance as she walks into the room. Will shakes off the ringing tone in his ears. "You pick it up and can't play it, he'll put you down and play you." Beverly says looking at Y/N, who looks like she had a rough night.  "He took the time to whiten the vocal chords before he played them. That's not very contemptuous." Zeller says raising an eyebrow. "It wasn't about whitening them. It was about increasing elasticity." Will says as he re-associates and looks at Y/N, he doesn't show his concern but he sure as hell feels it.

"He's treating the vocal chords the same way you'd treat catgut string. Yes, I played the violin." Beverly says crossing her arms and rolling her eyes playfully.  "We should be looking at musicians, people who make instruments, anyone who had a ticket to his last show." Will says as Y/N stares at the human instrument on the morgue table. "This takes a steady hand. A confidence. He's killed before."Y/N says softly, her voice strained and slightly gravelly.

"Like this?" Jimmy asks curiously, "Not like this. This is a skilled musician trying a new instrument." She replies, then looks over at Will. Their Blue eyes clashing, like two oceans finding a midpoint where they overlap. Y/N smiles softly and Feels the butterflies that love to flutter whenever Will is around...

HANNIBAL'S OFFICE - DAY -

Hannibal studies a pensive Will Graham and a Disassociated Dr. Y/N L/N as he observes: "Among the first musical instruments were flutes carved from human bone." "This murder was a performance." Y/N says recalling what she felt and saw (or 'imagined). For Y/N had once been in love with the stage, until her Mother had banned her from doing what helped her escape reality. "Every life is a piece of music. Like music, we are finite events, unique arrangements. Sometimes harmonious, sometimes dissonant." Hannibal says as he studies every movement the two profilers make. "Sometimes not worth hearing again." Will says causing both Y/N and Hannibal to look at him, they both know something is up with him. "He's a poet and a psychopath." Hannibal states in a tone neither partner can recognize.

"And a craftsman. He was shrinking and tanning the vocal chords." Will says as he walks around Hannibal's office, He comes up next to Y/N and places a Hand on the small of her back gently, Hannibal watches the pair curiously: "Like turning iron wire into musical steel string. Was there olive oil?" "Yes." Y/N says quietly as she blankly stares at the painting in front of her, trying to focus on anything but Will's hands on her. "Whatever sound he was trying to produce, it was an authentic one."

"Authentic?"

"Olive oil hasn't been used in the production of catgut for over a century. It was said to increase the life of the strings and create a sweeter, more melodic sound." That doesn't sit well with Will. "I can hear what he was playing behind my eyes, when I close them."

"What do you see behind closed eyes?" Will considers how to answer Hannibal's question, then decides to do it honestly: "I see myself." Hannibal ponders the deeper meaning of that, studying Will: "You said the killer was performing. Who was he performing for?" "I don't know. Patron of the arts. Fellow musician. Or another killer." Will says and walks towards another piece of art in Hannibal's large office.

"It's a serenade." Hannibal says  "One night only." Y/N says Turning around and looking at him.  "No repeat performance?"

"This isn't how he kills. How he kills, he doesn't get caught."

"You believe he risked getting caught for a serenade?" Hannibal looks at the Two.

"I believe he wants to show someone how well he plays."

"Intriguing."

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT -

WILL GRAHAM ties a fly, hearing the distant strains of the haunting music from the amphitheater. Frustrated, he drops the hook, covers his ears, and the music fades. Then he hears a faint SCRATCHING noise. Will's eyes open, staring into middle distance as he listens. Another SCRATCH-SCRATCH. Will looks at the dogs, who sleep soundly. SCRATCH-SCRATCH. Will OPENS the front door and listens. SCRATCH. There's nothing outside. Will scans the front porch and yard before finally closing the door. SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH. The dogs still don't react, even as Will steps over them, searching for the source of the SCRATCHING in the house. Will approaches the chimney wall above the fireplace. He presses his ear against the brick and listens. Nothing. Then SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH and a gaping, jagged hole in a chimney, surrounded by ruptured plaster and dry wall.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT -

Dr. Y/N L/N, still wearing her coat, and Will Graham, covered in dust and soot, gazing in at the jagged hole in the chimney. The dogs are all resting on Will's bed on the other side of the room. "What kind of animal was it?" I ask looking at him, "Might've been a raccoon." Will says gazing back at me. "Might've been?" I raise an eyebrow, "By the time I knocked a hole in the chimney, it crawled out the top." Y/N Gazes at Will with care as surreptitiously as possible. Nevertheless Will notices her studied glance. "Well, at least it got out." I say as i move some of my hair behind my ear, "What are you doing out?" Will asks inching towards me as he looks me up and down. "Thought I'd make some noise and shoo away any predators at your door but looks like you were making plenty of noise all by yourself." I nudge a river rock part of the chimney's structure. Will eyes Y/N a moment, curious. "You avoided being in a room alone with me, essentially, since I met you. You were smooth about it, too." Will says coming closer and flexing his hand, I look him up and down taking a deep breath. "Evidently not smooth enough." I say taking another deep Breath. "Now you're making house calls." He says now in front of me and placing one of his hands on my cheek and the other on my waist. I close my eyes and take a shaky deep breath.

"It's just a drive-by. On my way home. Since we're partners." I say softly, "Yea, is that it?" Will says softly as he pulls her closer smirking and he brings his lips to hers in a KISS. Y/N's mind reels for a split second before she RETURNS THE KISS, Her hands holding his face as one of his holds hers. A moment of genuine, careless passion and then Y/N's brows furrow. She breaks off the kiss. "Will-" I say breathlessly, I look at will confused, Does he like me the way I like him? "You have to stop Overthinking so much." He says holding my face with such care and gentleness. "I can stop the thinking if we're not... But if we're..." I say softly trying to explain my feelings, "Intimate." He says placing his forehead against mine. "Will i- the last time i did this, let myself feel, Let myself be loved. It broke me. I don't want it to happen again." I say looking into his storm greyish blue eyes, "I wouldn't do that to you Y/N." He says running his hands through my hair, I eye the pile of debris in front of the fireplace. "What about work, this possibly could get us in trou-" He kisses me again. I don't resist, in fact I pull him closer, My hands going to the back of his neck and lacing into his hair. Will's kiss is more aggressive now and Y/N feels the heat rising in her and in them as well as their tongues meet and Will moves his hand into her hair. When Will finally takes his mouth off her she breathes deeply and looks at Will's loving gaze and looks at Will with her loving eyes. They both look at each other, slowly, and with care. Will leans forward and kisses Y/N again, more gentle this time and loving. She laughs softly and smiles as she looks up at him.

HANNIBAL'S HOME - MUD ROOM - NIGHT -

Hannibal OPENS the DOOR TO REVEAL Will Graham, shaking off his raincoat in the MUD ROOM. "I kissed Y/N." Will says abruptly. Hannibal blinks almost imperceptibly. "Come in."

HANNIBAL'S HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT 3-

Hannibal leads Will into the room, surreptitiously looking for Tobias. Will notices the half-eaten meals as Hannibal shuts the garden door, locks it and pulls the shades before Will can see the footsteps in the snow outside.

"Did you have a guest?"

"A colleague. You just missed him." Hannibal clears the plates with the half-eaten meals.

"Didn't finish his dinner."

"An urgent call of some sort. Had to leave suddenly. This benefits you because I have dessert for two."

HANNIBAL'S HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT -

Hannibal whisks whipped cream and tosses a dollop on two Ramekins overflowing with an exotic bread pudding. "Tell me, what was Y/N's reaction?"

"She kissed me back."  Will says with a tone that reads 'i cant believe it'.  "She kissed you back?" He raises an eyebrow. "I know. i cant believe it." Will says as he stands and watches Hannibal prepare the dessert "Wondering then why you kissed her and felt compelled to drive an hour in the snow to tell me about it."

"Well I've Wanted to kiss her since I met her. Shes very kissable."

"You waited a long time, which suggests you were kissing her for a reason in addition to wanting to." Hannibal Smirks softly.  "I heard an animal trapped in my chimney. I broke through the wall to get it out. Didn't find anything inside. Y/N showed up. She looked at me, maybe her face changed, I don't know. She knew." Will looks down as he said this. "What did she know, Will?" Hannibal asks as he plates the dessert with a dollop of whipped cream on top. "There wasn't an animal in the chimney. It was only in my head."

"Did she say that?"

"She didn't have to. I sleep walk. i get headaches. I'm hearing things. I feel unstable." Will walks closer to the counter.  "That's why you kissed her. A clutch for balance." Hannibal hands a plate of the Dessert to Will. "Not only Because I'm losing my mind. But because she understands me in a way no one else does, She is like a cool drink of water on a hot summers day. " Will sighs fondly at the thought of her. "You said it yourself what you do is not good for you. For either of you...."

"Unfortunately, I'm good for it. And so is Y/N."

"Are you still hearing this killer's serenade behind your eyes?" Hannibal asks,  Will nods "it's our song."         "I hesitate telling you this as it borders on a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality. I've never been in this position before. A patient told me today he suspects a friend of his may be involved with the murder at the symphony."

"What did he say about his friend?"Will asks curiously,  "He owns a music store in Baltimore, specializing in string instruments. Perhaps you should interview him."  Hannibal innocently sending Will and subsequently Y/N into the lion's den...

BEDELIA'S HOME OFFICE - DAY

Hannibal sits opposite Bedelia. "For the first time in a long while I see a possibility of friendship."

"Is there someone new in your life?"

"I met a man and a woman both much like myself, same hobbies, same world views. But I'm not interested in being Their friend. I'm curious about them and that got me curious about friendship." Hannibal smiles softly in a curious way. "Whose friendship are you considering?"

"Oddly enough, colleagues and patients. Not unlike how I am a colleague and patient of yours. We've discussed Them before."

"Will Graham And Dr. Y/N L/N. "

"They are nothing like me. We see the world in different ways, yet they can assume my point of view."

"By profiling the criminally insane?"

"As good a demonstration as any. I find it reassuring."

"It's nice to have someone see us,Hannibal. Or have the ability to see us. It requires trust. Trust isn't easy for you." Bedelia points out, something so obvious yet so vague when it comes to Hannibal. "You mean, behind the veil?" Hannibal asks, She stares -- that's exactly what she means. "You've helped me to better understand what I want in a friendship. And what I don't."

"Someone worthy of your friendship." The word "worthy" rings true for Hannibal. She can see it. "Yes."

"You spend a lot of time building walls, Hannibal. It's natural to want to see if anyone is clever enough to climb over them."

CHORDOPHONE STRING SHOP - DAY -

Will Graham and Dr. Y/N L/N are flanked by TWO LOCAL BALTIMORE POLICE OFFICERS as they approach the front door. The BELL above the door RINGS as Will and Y/N ENTER, followed by the TWO BALTIMORE POLICE OFFICERS - STEWART and DORMAU. Tobias is escorting the PRE-TEEN CELLO PLAYER seen earlier out from the parlor behind the storefront. "I'm Special Agent Will Graham and This is Dr. Y/N L/N" Will introduces us to the Owner of the shop. "Yes, Tobias Budge. I'm just showing one of my students out. Can you give me a moment?" Will nods. Tobias guides the Pre-Teen Cello Player out the door. "JSB's Suite #1 for Saturday." Mr. Budge says to his student, "Okay." the Pre-Teen Cello Player glances over his shoulder, then EXITS. Tobias turns back to Will Graham, Dr. Y/N L/N and the Police Officers. "What can I help you with?"

"We're investigating the death of Douglas Wilson. He was a --" I am interrupted, "The Trombonist." "Thats right, um Did you know him?" I ask, "I was aware of him. Baltimore's a small town and its cultural arts community is even smaller." Tobias adjusts a display cello, loosening the balance rod. "That's why we're here, Mr. Budge." Will says from beside me.

"I hear someone cut his throat and tried to play it with a bow." Mr. Budge says curiously with a sinister twinge to his tone. "Why do you say try?" I ask with curiousity and woefulness tainting my question. "Strings have to be treated. You can't just open somebody up and run a bow across their innards and expect to produce a sound." Will HEARS the familiar strains of the HAUNTING MELODY rising in his ears, trying to focus through it. "The vocal chords were chemically treated, similar to how catgut strings are treated. We kept those details out of the press." Will says.  "Looking for someone who knows how to manufacture gut strings?" Tobias asks keeping his eyes on Y/N and Will. "Anyone leap to mind?" Tobias hands Will a bundle of catgut strings, but he doesn't take his eyes off Tobias. Tobias is sensing his suspicion.

"Mine are imported from Italy. Best catgut is. The String section of the Baltimore Metropolitan Orchestra refuses to play anything else."

"More authentic." I say softly.

"A richer, darker sound. Allows music to say what words can't." Then a HORRIBLE SKIDDING NOISE from outside followed by a SICKENING THUMP and the PAINED CRY of a DOG. Will startles. "Something wrong?" Tobias questions, with a tilt of his head.

"Sounded like a dog got hit by a car. You didn't hear it?" Will says concernedly, i look at him and shake my head 'no' softly. "I didn't hear anything." Tobias and the other Police Officer shake their heads "no," they didn't hear anything either. Another WIMPERED CRY.

"Excuse me a minute." Tobias strums the strings of the cello he just straightened as he watches Will cross to the door and EXIT. Y/N following in suit behind him.

Will steps out of the shop and down the walkway, his eyes searching the street for any sign of a commotion or wounded animal. He sees nothing. He hears nothing. A PEDESTRIAN eyes Will and keeps moving. Y/N just watches Will with concern as he shakes out aspirin into his hand and tosses them back, swallowing hard. He rubs his forehead and squints at the snow, worried. Finally, he trudges back toward...

CHORDOPHONE STRINGS SHOP - DAY -

Will Graham And Dr. Y/N L/N REENTER and are quick to apologize. "Sorry about that. I --" The store is empty. Approaching the counter, he pauses. "Officers. Officers." Y/N calls out. Will simultaneously retrieves weapon and phone. Y/N Grabs her own firearm, following behind Will. "I need ERT at Chordophone Strings downtown Baltimore. Officers down."  Will and Y/N step behind the counter and slip into --

The private room for lessons seen earlier. Will and Y/N enter to find OFFICER STEWART tumbled over the piano bench, a CELLO ROD jammed under his neck through the top of his head. Then suddenly, Will hears a strange noise coming from a the depths of an obscured STAIRCASE. SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH...

Y/N Trying to decipher the sound. Guns out in front of Them, the partners move into the darkness of the stairs until it swallows them whole.

CHORDOPHONE STRING SHOP - BASEMENT -

They hug the wall. Waiting till their eyes adjust to the dim light of a single light bulb. But the smell tells them before their eyes can verify what their brains already knows. This is where Tobias Budge makes his own catgut strings. ROPES OF INTESTINES Running the length of the room, drying. Lying in long cleansing troughs of water. Cut strings lying in piles like pasta in pans on a table. An eerie and horrible MAZE OF STRINGS in various stages of treatment.

And then she hears it again. Scratch-scratch-scratch...It's coming from behind an opaque curtain hanging from the ceiling in the corner of the basement. Will approaches cautiously and then slips almost falling. Y/N keeps a watchful eye to their surroundings as they push forward.

He glances down to see what he stepped on. It is OFFICER DORMAU'S BADGE in a pool of blood.

Y/N throws back the curtain to find Officer Dormau on his knees, dangling forward, supported by a SERIES OF RAZOR SHARP WIRE STRINGS cutting DEEP INTO HIS FACE AND NECK. The Scratch-Scratch-Scratching SOUND was his intact hand swinging, rubbing against the cement floor -- while his severed and sliced hand whisks back and forth unobstructed. Scratch-scratch-scratch. Y/N doesn't allow herself to be distracted long, turning and scanning the area for any signs of Tobias Budge. A BLUR OF MOVEMENT out of the corner of Will's eye.

Tobias loops a MULTI-WIRED WEAPON (imagine a TWO BRASS KNUCKLES connected by FOUR RAZOR SHARP STRINGS) over Y/N's head. Y/N raises an arm defensively over her face and throat, but the STRINGS CUT into her regardless, She reels back her leg and rams it into the family jewels of Tobias Budge. He almost lets go but doesn't. Y/N continues to struggle and kick at Tobias' legs. Will's gun comes up, FIRING next to his own ear and blowing TOBIAS' ear off. The BANG is deafening, literally. Y/N's HEARING GOES DARK AND MUDDY, as she reels from the pain. He clutches his ear with his bloody hand, spinning to find Tobias clutching his own bloody ear. Will raises the gun to fire again and......Tobias is already moving, scurrying out of sight. BLAM! Will FIRES, missing Tobias and blowing a hole in the wall. BLAM! BLAM! Tobias quickly climbs the stairs and disappears. Y/N stands there a moment, shaking, as the RINGING in her ear is slowly replaced by the RINGING OF SIRENS.

Will rushes back over to his shaken partner, "Y/N, Honey are you okay?" He asks as he looks at her arm and then at her face. He gently takes her face into his hands as he looks her over. Other than her injuries, he sees nothing but her shaken posterior, and places a delicate kiss to her forehead. He lets out a Relieved sigh.

HANNIBAL'S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER -

Hannibal's office is now an ACTIVE CRIME SCENE. LOCAL POLICE OFFICERS, DETECTIVES and EMERGENCY RESPONDERS present. The corpses of Tobias and Franklyn lie sadly amongst the debris. Hannibal's being treated by a PARAMEDIC, bandaging his arm and tending to his other wounds. Hannibal stares into middle-distance until he sees Y/N and Will ENTER, Y/N's arm and neck are bandaged, Jack Crawford at their side. Will eyes the BLOODY STAG STATUE next to Tobias' dead body. Hannibal is visibly relieved to see Will and Y/N alive and well.

"Mr. Budge said he was questioned by the FBI and he murdered two people. I was worried you two were dead." Hannibal says with a relieved sigh. Y/N demonstrates her own wounded arm. "You had reason to worry." I smile softly, glad to see that he was okay as well. "Tobias Budge kills two Baltimore Police Officers, nearly kills two FBI Special Agents, and after all that his first stop is your office." Jack says curiously. "He came to kill my patient."

"Hannibal's patient told him he suspected a friend was involved with the murder at the symphony. Hannibal told me and I as well as Y/N investigated. I got him involved."

"Your patient. Is that who Tobias Budge was serenading?" I ask Hannibal. "I don't know. Franklyn knew more than he was telling me. He told Mr. Budge he didn't have to kill anymore. Then he broke Franklyn's neck. Then he attacked me." Hannibal says, as Jack nods; "And you killed him." Hannibal eyes with convincing sadness Franklyn's corpse as it is placed into a body bag and hoisted onto a gurney. "Yes."

"Could your patient've been involved with any of what Budge was doing?"

"I thought this was a simple matter of poor choice in friends." Jack eyes Hannibal a brief moment, then turns his attention to the crime scene and the TWO BODIES being wheeled out. "This doesn't feel simple." Jack moves off to study the crime scene as Y/N sits, taking gauze from a med-kit and dabbing Hannibal's bloody forehead. "I feel like me and Will have dragged you into our world." I say softly with compassion. Hannibal chuckles softly,  "I got here on my own. But I appreciate the company."

Smiles are exchanged in Will, Y/N, and Hannibal and their uneasy camaraderie………

[primeofprimes115]

Lost Without You - Supergirl x Male Reader

Warnings: Fluff 🥰 and Angst 🥺

Five years... Five... Years has passed since he lost his beloved to a Crisis.

She went ahead to defend the universe from a very, very powerful threat.

And when the threat was thwarted? He'd receive the most heartbreaking news.

"Kara Zor-El... Is dead" he was informed by the Last Son of Krypton, though the Kryptonian was devastated, the same could be said for the girl's fiancé, Y/N L/N.

The moment put him into a shock, he was in emotional distress, unable to cope with the news he received before he'd lash out at anyone who was there, before he was eventually calmed down by a few of his closest friends.

His worst nightmare had come to life... His own future wife, the Kryptonian woman he asked to marry... Was killed by sacrificing her life to save her cousin from what was known as the Anti-Monitor.

A funeral was held for Kara Zor-El aka Supergirl, where Y/N got to say his last goodbyes to his future wife in a devastated state, he felt... Anger, anger for those who COULD'VE saved her... But no one even tried.

He wasn't there, but he knew someone could've saved her, maybe save the Flash who also died in this Crisis... Yet no one tried anything.

He felt the hatred in his heart toward even the Man of Steel, who set to carry her body, covered in a blanket out to the outer rim of space to lay her to rest, potentially falling into the sun.

For a time, he distanced himself away from mostly everyone, anyone who was a super, tried to talk to him? He'd threaten them... Before eventually his closest friends would be threatened by him.

It wasn't long till he went through a stage of depression, which worried his close ones.

The only thing he ever wanted... Was his Kara back... His soulmate... His "Angel".

He even thought of setting himself free and letting go of the pain... By just a leap of faith, however he failed.

He was forced to get help after being convinced by one of his good friends since childhood, to get better, to try and move on from her... Though the help from a psychiatrist helped, still his other problems were at large... His sleeping was one of them.

"He's barely gotten sleep since the situation, he hasn't been eating, drinking, hasn't gotten showered for the last few months and... We're-We're worried about his health, he's declining from the looks of it" his close friend, Jacob and his wife sat and talked with the Psychiatrist, overlooking Y/N's mental status as a whole.

"Can you confirm Mr L/N?" the doctor asked politely as the young man looked up slightly.

"Yes" he said in a low tone of voice.

"His health is declining you say?" the doc asked the other two, which Jacob nodded his head. "Has he tried eating or drinking?" he then asked.

"He's tried... But he can't seem to eat like he used to" Jacob expressed his worry.

This has been the third week since Y/N went to his Psychiatrist, he had to be accompanied by someone to make sure he gets there alright, unless he runs into a criminal and the worse can happen to either him...

Or the common thug...

"I think I have all the information I need to put him on a prescription for medication, from the diagnosis... He's going through a Persistent Depressive Disorder, common symptoms are skipping or not eating food, not drinking, sleeping too much or too little... Which can cause a decline in health which can be a huge problem if not treated quick enough" the doc explained.

"I should also say that... He's been experiencing hallucinations a few times... Of his late wife" Jacob added.

"Fiancé, Jacob" Y/N lowly corrected.

"Fiancé, sorry. Y/N claims he sees her and hears her voice calling out to him, at first he thought she was alive again but then he... Well..." Jacob stopped, trying not to tell the full exact details, wanting to forget what had happened that day.

"Hallucinations?" the doc's eyes darted toward the young man as he slowly nodded, looking down at the floor, staring. "Hmm, that's also a sign of Depressive Psychosis, I'll have a prescription for that medication for him too once this session is over, hopefully have it rolled out as soon as possible" the doc added to his notebook of patients.

"Oh also... Could Y/N receive an emotional support animal? A dog perhaps? A service dog at least? He was open to have some sort of companion to keep him stable" Jacob's wife chimed in, open to support Jacob's best friend.

"I can contact the Dogs for Good provider and see if I can get a service dog to help Mr L/N with his condition" the doc issued to help and provide.

The weeks would go by and he started to open up his circle to others, even apologizing to some he threatened to kill if they ever got close to him. One of them was Clark Kent aka Superman, the cousin of Kara Zor-El.

He told Clark that he was lost without Kara...

But... He wasn't the only one who felt lost without the Girl of Tomorrow.

* *

The last five years had passed since Supergirl's death, the world had seemed to have changed since then.

It was no different that Y/N and his 4 and a half year old companion named Riley had moved away from the current city they lived in together, he said his goodbyes to everyone and moved away... To another Earth where it felt more safer for him to move around in.

Helped by Dr Fate and some others, he was able to travel to this different Earth where it felt the safest within the Multiverse, there were a few other Earths like this one... But this one felt it called his name. Where a new chapter in his life would finally begin.

On the ridge of Vancouver aka Vantucky located in the Washington State, laid a house that he stayed in.

This place costed at least $1.250.000 Dollars, but thankfully? He had some friends who helped buy him the place from his old home, that being his old Earth.

"Good day for a walk, ain't it Riley?" the mid-20s man looked to his K9 companion and asked his companion.

Riley barked once as to respond to his owner's question.

"Couldn't say it any better bestie" he smiled as the two turned up at the front door of their house, he pulled out the keys and began unlocking the door to enter his home.

He opens the door and enters before allowing his K9 friend to come in before closing the door behind him, exhaling his breath as he began taking off his jacket and hanging it up.

Before he took another step, he heard Riley growling...

"What is it?" he asked as he bent down to comfort his K9, the dog barked toward the direction of where he was growling at, which set off alarms in Y/N's head. Riley wouldn't growl at the presence of Y/N's house cat Milo would he?

But... Someone unfamiliar had popped into his home when he suddenly realized why he was growling.

"Take it cool Riley, we go together" his heart was pounding, someone had broken into his home and not even the security alarm warned him of an intruder? This set off red alarms.

He pulled out his concealed handgun in his back pocket, in case he was apprehended by common thugs or whatever.

He moved slowly with the dog, aiming his handgun in front of him, finger on the trigger in case something were to jump out at him.

Never did he think someone would even dare break into his own home and manage to not trip the security that was placed in his home for any intruder who tried breaking in... The weird part? The more he slowly moved throughout his home, he began to think something was off, no break-ins were seen, the alarm wasn't tripped.

The dog began barking before rushing off, causing Y/N to panic.

"Riley, no!" Y/N shouted after the dog, hoping the intruder wouldn't hurt his K9 Service Dog, the barking continued as he quickly rushed to where Riley ran off to, only to stop at the sight of seeing someone... Very familiar standing beside a sleeping Milo on his favorite spot on the couch.

"Hi... Sparky" it was a blonde haired woman, she would smile but the dog kept barking at her and she didn't want to hurt it if it went to attack her with Y/N's permission to do so... Though the dog would only hurt itself if it did so.

His eyes bulged open, his heart began racing... He was wondering if he had taken his medication today since he was frozen still at the sight of seeing what he thought as a ghost.

His gun still aimed at her, she still wore the same outfit the day she went to fight for Earth's survival, the day she would say her last goodbyes without knowing she was going to die and leave a devastated Y/N behind her when she sacrificed herself.

"K-Kara?" he spoke the name of his late fiancé... Who appeared to be standing in front of him...

* *

Kara Zor-El stood still as the Anti-Monitor had been defeated, wounded but still able to stand.

She witnessed her own death here... At that exact moment when sacrificing her life to save her cousin from the Anti-Monitor. But luckily? She was saved by Zero-Hour Parallax Hal Jordan, even the Flash aka Barry Allen was saved by him too.

She knew what would happen if she were to die... How she ORIGINALLY died and the impact it would cause.

She first saw it through images of smoke in the Phantom Zone that had imprisoned Kryptonians that defiled the House of El.

She saw her devastated fiancé and what he was going through after her death, no matter her pleads to make the strange smoky visions stop, the images kept playing in her head. Watching her own body be carried to the sun by her cousin to lay her to rest, seeing her fiancé go through a very rough depressive state.

It was enough to make her panic with her thoughts, before she crumbled up into a ball and let the tears flow.

However, she promised to keep it all a secret, knowing she was going to die. She knows what happens to the timeline if things were altered.

She was fully willing to accept her fate, knowing how heartbreaking it is to see her future husband go through the pain of losing her and knowing Clark would be the last living member of the House of El... She had to accept it.

However... When things were revealed that a version of Brainiac had been up to no good with the multiverse at his fingertips, he began collecting different Earths and timelines, fitting them against each other, the winner? Gets a future.

However things weren't going well... The multiverse was unstable... Telos, a servant of this Brainiac had brought everyone to the dimension Brainiac was in to control the universes he collected.

The only way to restore it, was to send everyone back home and Brainiac was the only one who could do it.

But he couldn't... The first Crisis he claimed, was blocking him from doing so, in order to restore the multiverse, he had to send Pre-Crisis Supergirl and Flash back to their timeline, where they already knew their fates were sealed...

But in luck... Zero-Hour Hal Jordan aka Parallax had decided to go with them... Along with Superman and his Wife and newborn son, in which in an instant... The Multiverse was saved.

Kara issued a word with Brainiac and Telos before she would be saved by Zero-Hour Hal Jordan... She wanted to see her fiancé after the deed had been done, she didn't care if it wasn't the present Y/N or just after the Crisis, she wanted to see her fiancé since the vision she saw showed he NEVER moved on from her. 

And so her wish was granted the moment the Anti-Monitor was defeated...

"Ah! What?! Where... Where am I?" she was suddenly teleported into a home she didn't recognize. "Rao! This isn't my home... Is it?" she turned round and noticed she was standing in the living room, where small portraits were on display... Showing her fiancé in them. She recognized his face in them, showing she was in the right place... But something was different.

She stopped the moment her eyes laid upon an old photo on display. A photo of herself and Y/N, before they were even married... When she was living in New York City, wearing the old blouse and hot pants suit.

"Brainiac actually lived up to his promise? If only I could thank him" she smiled upon the old photo, she was definitely in the right place... But it seemed to be a different house.

She then looked around and saw a cat sleeping on the couch, who awoke at the sound of her voice... The cat looked a lot familiar.

"You look a lot like Streaky" she cooed, kneeling down at the cat as it yawned, waking up from its nap on the couch, trilling at her presence. "And very friendly like him too" she smiled a little more.

Before long... The Maiden of Steel heard a door opening with a familiar voice behind it. "Couldn't have said it any better bestie" she heard her fiancé's voice, talking to someone.

Before she could even move, she then heard a dog growl.

'A dog too?' Kara said in her mind, she even used her x-ray vision to check, confirming it was a German Shephard. 'Seems to be a service dog, like I saw in the visions' she added.

"Riley, no!" her fiancé shouted out for the dog, who came running into the living room while barking, she put her hands up in front of her as Riley continuously barked at her with some growls at the end.

Y/N came sprinting in, his handgun in hand and stopped at the sight of Kara Zor-El, who then focused her attention to as she put her hands down, relaxing them.

"Hi... Sparky" she said awkwardly, smiling like she was caught doing something stupid.

Y/N's eyes bulged wide open as the dog kept barking and growling, his gun still aimed at her as she tried to get closer, but the dog wouldn't allow it.

"K-Kara?" he asked, his eyes still wide open as his gun was drawn on her still.

Kara thought back to what Telos had mentioned about Y/N in the future of her death in the Crisis, he'd gone through a deep depression and had trouble with his life after her death, it was like he was lost without her, before eventually he got help, and got a service dog named Riley.

"I don't know how long it's been but... It's me, Kara Zor-El, your fiancé" she smiled softly, trying to get closer again but Y/N's service dog growled at her since she was unfamiliar to him within his own home.

Everything was as it said it should be, Telos only warned that things would be a little different after the Multiverse is restored, along with her own life. She'd have to be his Guardian Angel, like she always has been to him. To be a somewhat light in the darkness for him since he'd gone through that mental breakdown.

"No, no... No! You're just a damn figment of my damn mind!" he closed his eyes and looked away, refusing to even believe if what he was seeing was real. Kara felt heartbroken to see him this way in person, what did she have to do to convince him that she is alive in front of him? It was then that Riley began sniffing the Kryptonian's scent. "Riley, did I take my meds today?" he asked his dog, still looking away from him as he thought the person in front of him was another trick.

However, the dog was still sniffing Supergirl's scent as she knelt down to his level, upon finishing, the dog began wagging his tail as it sensed the girl wasn't threatening at all. 

"Riley?" he turned round to see Riley licking the "figment's" face as she giggled.

"For a service dog? Giving me kisses is something else" she giggled, remembering that Krypto the Superdog used to do it all the time when he greets her.

It was at that moment... Y/N's eyes widened once more, he felt his body go stiffer as he watched his dog lick the girl's face, giving her friendly kisses as she giggled away.

A few seconds go by and Riley stops, allowing the girl to stand up as he sat still next, allowing her to maneuver around now after being welcomed by him. Kara looks at her shocked and conflicted fiancé as the gun in his hands suddenly slips out from his hand, a loud thud hitting the ground as he stared at his supposed dead fiancé, now alive mysteriously.

"A-Angel?" he began to feel his eyes watering, all the pent up emotion getting to him as she got closer to him.

"It's me... I'm back, in a confusing way but I'll-" she was suddenly stopped by him rushing into her, wrapping his arms tightly around her body as he dug his head into her, though he was slightly taller, he could still bury his head into her shoulder.

Kara heard the loud sniffles, as he let the tears flow down his face onto her suit's red shoulder where he burrowed his face into, hearing him sob her name out, asking if she was really alive a few times made her wrap her arms around him next, to show she was indeed alive once again, now in her arms after that long battle with the Anti-Monitor who originally, killed her.

His sobs were enough to make her eyes water with his, she didn't know if he was crying happily or the other way around, she stayed strong for him however and let him sob his heart out.

"It's been f-f-f-f-five y-years!" he sobbingly mumbled into her shoulder with a muffled tone before sniffling again. Her initial thought was confirmed, this was present day Y/N, some time after her death as Telos and Brainiac stated before she went through the portal to face the Anti-Monitor, with a different outcome.

"And I'm not leaving you again" she responded as his sniffles continued. "Can you look at me so I can kiss you?" she then asked, as her fiancé pulled back a little to look at her before their lips crashed into each other with Kara wiping away the tears on his face with her hands on his face.

He gave his all to show how much he missed her, melting into her lips as he kept his arms around her, not wanting to let go any sooner, in case he were to lose her again. giving small whimpers.

Their kiss soon ended as their foreheads rested on each other, their eyes opening as they look at one another.

"Kara I..." he didn't know how to process this situation. With her thumb, Kara wiped away another stray tear that fell down from his right eye.

"Shh" she cooed. "I'll explain everything later, right now? I just want to hold you right now, give you all the kisses and hugs in the world" she suggested, putting a smile on her fiancé's face.

"That's all I want right now" he softly spoke before the two smiled and kissed once more.

* *

"So... What you're telling me... Is that Brainiac admitted he felt loss? And then tried to restore the collapsing Multiverse which he originally caused to happen? He had to send you and our Barry back to face your deaths again, but an evil Hal Jordan saved you and Barry? Which pretty revived you?" Y/N spoke with confusion. "Okay... I'm confused" he admitted.

"Yeah, it's confusing I know... But... I'm alive again so... That's all that matters" she agreed, she was now out of her costume and put on a cardigan and casual short shorts with no socks on her feet, laying down on the couch with her fiancé reunited with her.

"Yeah... You've missed a lot" he spoke lowly. "I'm on meds now, got Riley as a service dog" he gestured while cuddling into Kara as Riley barked as a response. "And I got Milo" he then added.

Kara looked at the peacefully sleeping orange cat Milo as she smiled. "Reminds me of Streaky the Supercat".

"In a certain way? Yeah" he agreed with her on a short note.

"Y/N... I... I'm sorry for leaving you" she looked down at him, his eyes now focused on her by just moving his head to face her. "If I had known the impact I was going to leave on Kal, on you and everyone else? Especially you. I..." she then sighed, she was going to call herself selfish, but originally she saved her cousin from death, but it costed her, her own life.

"You don't need to be sorry and it's not your fault about what I went through... I found it hard to move on from you, which clouded my judgement, I was so angry, upset and... Drowsy" he took away the blame Kara was putting on herself, not wanting her to blame herself for what he went through as Kara began to realize. "But I got help eventually, Riley has been there since I got help, you're not gonna believe this but, he was a puppy when he became my emotional support animal and my service dog" he explained with a soft chuckle, causing the girl to smile.

"I believe you, cause I saw it like I said" she spoke before leaning her head down and kissed his forehead.

"As for earlier, I let those emotions out because I couldn't believe that my fiancé was alive again, for the last five years Kara, I still found it hard to move on. I've tried dating, but my heart could not move on from you, even with my mind playing tricks on me thinking I saw you in the distance or in front of me" Y/N unexpectedly began explaining, like it was sudden instinct to vent his thoughts. "I take medication to keep my mind straight, so I don't fall into that feeling again, ever since you died... I felt... Lost without you, and I couldn't bear with feeling crushed without you by my side" he choked on the last set of his words, with Kara now stroking his face.

"But I'm here now... To guide you once more, as you were with me when we first met" she cooed, stroking his face softly as he began to smile. "I can hang up the cape to be with you at all times, no more Supergirl... Just Kara L/N" the Kryptonian hinted while she smiled back.

"Kara, this world does need heroes, there's barely any out there in this world" he denied her suggestion. "This world needs a hero like you, to inspire others just like your cousin did".

"Are you certain?" she asked concerned. "I don't know how you'd really feel about me going back out there, after all you've been through without me".

"Yes" he looked Kara in the eye to show he was genuine about it. "This world needs someone like you... It may not be the same Earth but... It someone Super to be its Champion" he softly smiled.

Kara smiled with him before the she was pulled into a soft and passionate kiss, their lips touched with tenderness, longing for another long kiss before it broke.

"I've been strong for so long Kara... Losing you, really broke me, it broke me everywhere. I just wanted you back so much-"

"Shhhhh" Kara cooed, putting a finger on his lips as she softly smirked. "You don't need to fret anymore... I'm here with you now" she whispered softly.

Her fiancé's face brightened up upon hearing her words, it was all he ever needed... Was his soulmate to come back, even if he had moved on.

"I love you Kara, I love you so much" he cooed as the Kryptonian then planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, Sparky" she smirked as their kiss was continued into a soft and gentle make-out session...

[mioyeo]

8 makes 1 Team

No matter how different, without one of us there is no 8 makes 1 Team

Synopsis : In which 8 boys build a friendship despise of their differences with the help of a psychiatrist

Pairing : psychiatrist! Reader x Ateez (for now )

Warnings : this chapter includes mentions of , ignorant staff , crying , sweet guard hours , grooming , influential parents, no consent , threatening , taking minors private parts in their mouths , sexual assault , arguing , please tell me if I forget something , and I’m not romanticizing disorders in anyway and this is pure fiction meaning this doesn’t represent Ateez in any type of way

For every new chapter I’ll place this (🟢) beside it in the masterlist so you guys know that the chapter is new and was posted recently

Tag list : @veneziamadness , @hcyaa , @sadcoffeecritic , @aapplepii , @lavishloving , @dogsongy , @acciocriativity , @k33vad3la , @seonghwifey , @hanjihyun23 , @yunhoswrld123 , @cqndiedcherries , @miriamxsworld , @belle643 , @pandyandy71-blog , @mothworked

I apologize for taking so long , I had a huge writer’s block so I couldn’t really continue writing for some days

Also if you want to be added to the tagging list for the next chapter comment so I can add you

Word count: 1,6k

It was a very quiet night that day as every guard was currently changing shifts  , others just coming in and others going home so they could return to their morning shift

Y/n just had dinner with both groups at separate times and now walked into the break room

" You've been called to the office "

One of her colleagues that was currently in charge of ordering new things such as medical equipment and further more looked up to her informing Y/n about her being expected somewhere

" I guess he must have heard my complaints "

" Your wasting his time with things we can fix ourselves , we get it there was a minor issue last time with a patient bu- "

Y/n bursted out laughing starling the other staff that sat silently doing their work

" A minor issue? Do you call a patient wanting to end themselves a minor issue ? "

She wiped her eyes and collected herself

" You must not know what your duties are if your labeling such a live threatening situation a minor issue , and the fact that you where also at the scene but didn't do anything makes me uncomfortable looking at you "

" I'm not in charge of him but you"

" Ok if I ever see you having any complications I'll just stare at you and leave how about th-"

Everyone stared in shook as silent murmuring where heard

" Both of you stop being loud there are people trying to work here "

" Well I'll excuse myself  ,  sorry for disturbing everyone else "

She bowed and went out sighing in annoyance before bumping into someone

" I-I'm sorry I didn't see you "

The male apologized quickly checking if she was alright

" It's alright , it's my fault I didn't see you "

" No no I should've looked where I was going "

He bowed again apologizing

" Aren't you the new guard in charge of Hongjoong? "

" Y-Yeah I am , I just changed shifts with a fellow friend that also works here "

" Are you going home now? "

" Yeah what about you? "

She smiled and straighten her work clothes

" I was about to meet my boss "

He hummed in knowledge scratching the back of his head

" I could walk you there since the exit is near "

" Sure I wouldn't mind company "

" How long have you been working here ? "

Both walked down the hall in silence only their footsteps being heard

" It's been over a month already "

" A so your still a fresh worker "

She nodded and looked ahead

" I feel like I've been longer here actually I don't know why but I bonded quickly with some of my patients "

" I know how you feel , I used to listen to my brother tell me stories of when he used to work here and these stories made me like his patients without even knowing them "

" These kids have something special in them they just need to be treated with care and be understood "

"I agree ,and it's exactly what my brother said "

She smiled softly looking at him

" You seem like someone they can trust based on your personality right now "

"I want to protect them just like my brown did"

" Your brother seems like your biggest role model "

" He is , we grew up alone and he was both parental roles that's why I really look up to him and want to follow his footsteps "

The elder looked at her before coming to an stop in front of the office "

" I guess this is your stop "

" Yeah it is , wait what is your name ? "

" I'm Seok-woo and I already know your name because of Hongjoong he can't stop talking about you and the activities you do with them "

He chuckled making her smile

" Well it was nice talking to you Seok-woo "

She waved before knocking on the door hearing a soft call for her to come in

" Ah Miss Y/n I've been waiting for you "

The man in his late sixties looked up from his paperwork gesturing for her to sit

" I must assume you heard of my complaints? "

" What complaints are we talking about ? "

She cleared her throat and adjusted herself on her seat

" I must inform you that the staff you've hired has been out off line and crossing several boundaries multiple times regarding not only my patients but other children here "

He hummed and leaned back on his arm chair

" When I started working here I came across the complaint that one of my patient has been sexually assaulted multiple times and forced to do multiple things out of his knowledge by one of the guards here and also physically assaulted for not acting they want them too "

" And who is that patient and guard? "

" It's my patient Park Seonghwa that was assaulted by Guard Lee "

She studied the man's face that seemed to stay calm despite being told this information

" Well I'll see what I can do about it "

He looked back at his paperwork

"He should be fired and sued for sexual assault it hasn't been one but many children in here "

The elder pressed on a button and spoke while looking at her

“ Please accompany Park Seonghwa to my office now , yes wake him up "

" Sir you need to do something about it "

" We'll discuss this with Seonghwa "

She sighed and waited patiently for the boy to arrive , it was making her nervous and something told her that this was going in a totally different direction

The door opened revealing the short blonde boy rubbing his eyes as he was woken up from his sleep

" Y/n your here "

The boy smiled and waddled towards her hugging her

" Sorry for waking you Seonghwa but would you answer some questions for me ? "

She looked at him and ressured him that it was ok so he could sit

" Miss Y/n here told me something about Guard Lee assaulting you is that true? "

The elder stared at the boy who's face dropped in horror

" Has Guard Lee been touching you without your consent ? "

He nodded and fiddled with his fingers

" What did he exactly do "

" H-He told me to take my pants off so he could look at my down there "

Seonghwa's hands found Y/n's who squeezed them slightly for encouragement

" Did he just look ? "

" H-He started doing weird things and told me that it was going to feel good "

" What do you exactly mean with he was performing weird things on you ? "

She rubbed his palm and reassured him to stop if he didn't want to continue

" He put it into his mouth and than did this until something weird came out "

The boy stiffened as he copied the stroking movements the elder performed on him

" What else did he do ? "

" H-He promised me legos after I do the same to him because he said that I should repay for his kindness "

Y/n felt sick to her stomach as she listened

" Did you allow him to touch you "

Seonghwa nodded

"B-But I didn't like it and told him to stop but he said that if I tell someone what happened he would kill me and depose my body in the woods where no one would find me "

The younger teared up trembling in fear

" How old are you Seonghwa ? "

" Sir this is a totally irrelevant question "

She looked in disbelief

" Seonghwa how old are you ? "

" I'm sixteen "

He replied sniffing

" With your age I don't consider this sexual assault anymore because that’s the legal age you can do sexual activities here in Korea "

" Excuse me ?! This is sexual assault and he groomed him prior to this "

She scoffed in anger

" How is this considered assault if he gave his consent Miss Y/n ? "

" He may have given his consent but he told the guard to stop but he continued without his consent on other occasions which means from that moment on its considered sexual assault "

“ He still gave his consent ”

“Because he was groomed, guard Lee formed a relationship with so when he was about to do this Seonghwa would be comfortable to say yes ”

" Do you know who his parents are ? His parents are very powerful people and if this comes to light it could get ugly "

He said calmly crossing his hands

" So you prefer to protect a disgusting child abuser because his parents are influential? "

" That's not what I said Miss Y/n , I'd need proof that Guard Lee touched him inappropriately before proceeding with this "

" His words are enough proof and the legos because this means that he literally purchased sex from Seonghwa in return for goods other kids as well we'd just need them to open up-"

" Miss Y/n this is not a normal hospital, these children practically live here be it long term or until they finish their treatment this is nothing like your past job "

" It's either you fire that man or he'll continue abusing your patients "

The elder sighed

" I'll see what I can do, I will have a word with Guard Lee you may go now "

Seonghwa looked at her and wiped his face even though they kept falling

" It's ok I'll make sure that he's gone ”

She bowed and left the office with Seonghwa holding onto her hand

“ Will he r-really be gone? ”

“ I promise you sweetheart that you’ll never see him again after I figure out how to get rid of him ”

“ I’m afraid he’s gonna hurt me ”

He teared up and shivered in fear

“ You don’t need to be afraid as long as I’m here , I’ll make sure he disappears from our lives completely ”

The boy nodded and hugged her tightly

“ I t-trust you ”

She teared up slightly and rubbed his back

“ I won’t disappoint you sunshine ”

[a-wilson-collector]

I LIVED BITCH

(cw: noncon/rape, guns, disregard for gun safety, family abuse, forced isolation, medical neglect)

wanted to save this post for until i got to a safe place, but now that i am, i can give y'all a reason why i didn't post much if at all.

its mostly because of my family.

on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the worst, 1 being the best) my mom and dad are 10, most of my dad's side of the family is like, 9.5 outside of grandma n pa. they are like an 8 or 7 depending on how pissy/petty i feel about them. my brother is like, 4. and my sister is the only one whose normal about everything so she's a 1.

the reason my mom n dad are so highly rated is because my mom would lowkey ghost me for the entire summer when school stopped, and my dad is, well, according to mom- "he never takes no as an answer."

makes me think about why i always gravitated towards noncon fanfics for wilson/maxwell. Im still working on that.

grandma n pa are 8 because my grandma defends my dad (and pretty much any violent male member of the family) and my grandpa WAVED A FUCKING LOADED GUN IN MY FACE on the day of the move. if his hand was NOT on the trigger, he could've shot me in any part of my body including my head

my brother is a 4 because he hasn't apologized for beating the shit out of me almost every day until i was 16, but he's gotten a lot better at controlling his anger.

my sister was the only one who realized that the only way she was going to stay in my life was being cautious, but also realizing why i wanted out so bad, since she went through most of this herself.

outside of that, i hid most of my art from my family because i could NOT handle the disappointment that my family would show if that their "adorable daughter" drew a guy ripping his face off, or drawing porn (tho that wasnt until years later, obviously.) thats why most of my art is violent or violent in nature. its what i grew up in. constant fights all the time. cps was called a few times but they didnt do anything outside of adding to the trauma pile

im tired and finally in a safe environment where i wont be threatened to be shipped off my dad's place, which, if that was to happen... I'd lose all of my support network, including doctors and psychiatrists. I'd be completely shut off from the outside world, including my boyfriend and friends on discord. in his mind, the internet is the reason i have such high needs, instead of, y'know, THE 'TISM.

as for my past, i have gone by "noonfish" or some variation of that on tumblr, but that was while i was stuck somewhere in the alt-right rabbit hole on yt since most of my family loves trump, which is why i nuked all of them. I am deeply ashamed of my past and i'm still working on it, i know i can be better tomorrow than i was today. If i had a nickel for every time my grandma defended a rapist, I'd have three nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened with three people.

i understand if people also stop following for my previous "ties" to the alt right (i was pretty surface level, mainly memes), however i was like, what, 16? and extremely isolated to boot. Thank fuck i got anti-psychotics. i was losing my mind for YEARS due to undiagnosed schizo-affective disorder, which was in play since i was 8. I still remember the time i missed my bus going home from school in elementary school, and when my mom had me in the car, she drove into a parking space and proceeded to yell at me to stop telling the teachers because "i was scaring them" because i kept seeing shadow people in the hallways. all the doctors just assumed I was being racist or something? im not sure about that but the only thing that came out of that was me getting glasses (which, tbh i did in fact, need)

after that, it went lowkey until middle/high school, where it resurfaced again and will continue until i fucking die, so thats fun. if I didn't have schizo-affective disorder, i probably still would've fallen for the alt-right pipeline on yt when i was a child (because of unsupervised access to the internet), but at least i'd be able to make a coherent statement about it. i still hate all those people that helped make my mental illness worse to the point i thought only ohio existed for like, 6 months. shit was awful.

so yeah, thats why i've been so on n off. hope to get some art soon since its about time i should do a full render. maybe it will be two girls kissing.

[lastlycoris]

Katherine and Matthew are going to kill someone if they haven't already.

I had a patient with schizophrenia coming in for "psychotic episodes". He's been in prison for ten years now, being treated for six.

And the first things I see is the patient puckering his lips and the inside of his mouth bulging as if his tongue is pressing against the inner cheek. His left fingers and arm move rhythmically, wiggling, but he does not seem to notice or care.

He speaks with a negative affect, and I notice his tongue twisting in his mouth as if out of his control. It hampers his speaking some. Alarm bells are ringing in my head now. But I ask him if there's a problem or a sore in his mouth after constantly seeing him use his tongue to bulge out his cheek repeatedly.

The man immediately stands up and starts yelling. Security starts to restrain him from leaning forward at me. He yells that he keeps telling everyone that all the tongue and lip and arm stuff are outside his control - as if a demon is controlling them. And he tells them he doesn't want to take his meds anymore cause he's sure they're causing his problems, but they keep making him take them. And when he gets angry that no one's listening, people accuse him of having a psychotic break like now. He breathes heavily, staring at me, but he's noticably calmer.

I ask security to stand down. He sits down in his seat grumpily, cuffs rattling.

I take him through his med list and immediately raise an eyebrow.

He's on four separate antipsychotics. High doses of them too. Risperidol, Arpiprazole, Olanzapine, Chlopramazine. I don't have his prior medical notes available because our EMR broke down today due to our Windows ME-level technology, so I ask him why he's on so many meds.

He reiterates that doctors here don't listen. Yeah, he has schizophrenia. He sees things. He hears things. But he's never had something controlling his body before, and it scares him, and he knows it's not his schizophrenia, but people insist it's his schizophrenia. And so everyone keeps adding to his medications he has to take when he complains about the weird involuntary movements, but it feels like it's getting worse. And when he absolutely refused to take any more, they restrained him in the name of public safety and forcibly gave him a drug cocktail that left him in a mental fog for days.

That's the moment I realized how fucked up thr situation is.

The "demons controlling the man's limbs?". That's not him being crazy or faking things.

He's suffering from Tardive Dyskinesia, a side effect from long-term anti-psychotic use. Probably made significantly worse by them adding more antipsychotic drugs that can cause it. The involuntary motions - lip-smacking, tongue rolling, chorea-like limb movements - are all classic signs. And what's worse is that this has been going on for close to several years, so this could very well be permanent.

The "treatment" for tardive dyskinesia is to discontinue the medicine. But you don't suddenly discontinue a patient off an antipsychotic or in this case multiple of them. You need to taper the patient off, but I don't have any of that expertise, especially when the guy is on four different antipsychotics.

I was genuinely pissed off the moment everything clicked. But with as much composure I could muster, I looked him in the eyes and told the guy that I think he's on too many meds right now, and I'm going to request that the state provides an actual board-certified pyschiatrist.

And that he will be seen by one today - or at the very most tomorrow. And if it doesn't happen, I am going to raise hell.

I think he and the guards were a bit shocked. In hindsight, I was too. But I think the gross incomptence of this correctional facility had hit my final fucking nerve.

I do suspect this guy may be purging himself whenever he takes the antipsychotics because with that high of four separate drugs, he should be catatonic. But I'm not a psychiatrist. Neither is the person "taking care" of my patient either - but he still has the audacity to prescribe all those psych meds without knowing what they actually do.

What gall! What hubris!

I wish I had the confidence to be that stupid!

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Just realized I didn’t update on here, so....I have an announcement for y’all.

We’re officially diagnosed with D.I.D., on paper.

We’re having to switch therapists (they’re going to a new clinic 😭), so we got to know what all is dx. Our therapist went over it like ‘this is diagnosed, ¿what do you want them to know about this? ¿what do you still need help with?’. Obviously some of it we knew; they told us ADHD & bipolar were both on there, & PTSD. Those are necessary for our meds.

But they’ve now added on “unspecified anxiety disorder”* (not surprised) & D.I.D. - it’s official.

(* I’m pretty sure, now that the PTSD is medicated, that it’s social anxiety disorder. If I understand the diagnoses correctly. It’s that or generalised/GAD.)

We were medically recognised/confirmed by our first therapist, our second therapist, & our psychiatrist. (We’re now moving to our third therapist (same psychiatrist).)

We knew we were right. But wow is it different to hear/see it diagnosed.

So...yeah. It’s now officially, medically diagnosed. We have the certification from our psychological team. We’re recognised & diagnosed with plurality/D.I.D. now.

I’ve still been processing. We found out 2 weeks ago. But...holy shit. It’s real. It’s on paper now 😅.

(I know I keep repeating myself, I’m still a bit in shock that we actually got it on paper. It usually takes up to 15 years...but we’re now at year 2 of therapy & got a good team, so we’re recognised and getting the help we need.)

~Nico💜

[ellishevah]

Doppio Headcanons!!! ☎️🐸

Canon Compliant Headcanons

Doppio has some form of ASD, ADHD or both

His favorite animals are frogs and butterflies, but he like’s basically all kinds of bugs

I don’t think he likes spiders or centipedes though

Growing up, he always wanted to be a fisherman, but felt pressured to be a priest by his father

He has a butterfly garden that he tends to in the churchyard

I don’t think he had friends growing up :(

Doppio actually does not know how to swim, despite wanting to be a fisherman

Because he doesn’t have a car, Doppio gets around mostly on foot, but has a bike for longer travel

He absolutely loves taking pictures of the wildlife around Costa Smeralda… He definitely shows his collection of photographs to Donatella

Doppio cannot cook to save his life. He does his best, but can’t make much more than toast

He can’t stand the bitter taste of coffee or any bitter drink for that matter

But he likes hot tea!! With milk and sugar of course

I think he would absolutely believe in aliens… Not those History Channel conspiracies, but just aliens in general

Doppio likes stargazing, but he only knows maybe two (2) constellations

When answering landlines, Doppio wraps the cord around his finger like he’s a teenage girl in a coming of age movie

He has horrible handwriting… Not as bad as doctors, but I think he writes in a weird mix of cursive and print

Doppio would own a fluffy dog if he had one, but it would have to be relatively small and absolutely no drooling whatsoever

He would love watching cartoons in the 70s/80s; Japanese, American, or European, Doppio would watch whatever was on TV

This man is a horrible kisser… Donatella is the first girl he ever kisses and it’s a work in progress most of the time

Being raised by a priest, Doppio grew up very religious, but grew distant with theology once he ‘joins’ the mafia

He is extremely gullible, and always gives infinite second chances, even when he shouldn’t

Doppio is the kind of person to believe there’s good in everyone, even if Diavolo is telling him all of their crimes and misdemeanors

When he first ‘joined’ the mafia, Doppio wouldn’t hurt a fly, Diavolo had to do the dirty work for him

As time goes on, he slowly becomes more accustomed to the idea of kill or be killed

Not really a headcanon, but more of a theory… Doppio is probably present for one of Diavolo’s deaths as ‘payback’

Canon Divergent Headcanons (aka he stayed with Donatella)

He would have loved Trish so much!

Doppio’s dream was to have a family of his own

Diavolo is the protector personality from Doppio’s childhood who came into being through abuse from his father

When he meets Donatella, he is always brutally honest about himself, admitting that he has never kissed a girl with no shame

I don’t think he ever tells his father about Donatella and I don’t think Doppio ever tells him about Trish

Adding onto the kiss HC from above, Doppio is extremely nervous about having an intimate relationship with Donatella

They take things very slow at first, but Doppio would figure out how to make sure they have a good time ;)

Diavolo would not begin to front for a while, which is why Doppio is able to stay in Sardegna for so long

Doppio would be absolutely amazed by ultrasound technology… He’d keep a picture in his wallet 🥺

He would have matching outfits with Trish 100% and of course he’d show them off to Donatella and be so proud of himself

If Doppio never left Costa Smeralda, I think he would have seen a psychiatrist at some point and be medicated for Schizophrenia… But Diavolo would still be a presence in his life

If he did end up leaving, it would be because Diavolo poisoned him against Donatella

You know that phone from Toy Story? He would ‘call’ Diavolo on that phone… Baby Trish would find it so entertaining

Doppio always takes a day off from fishing to take Donatella and Trish somewhere nice

He would spoil Trish rotten if he stayed with Donatella. From toys to clothes and everything in between

Doppio would pick Trish up from school every day and walk her home, asking her about her day and listen to everything she said

He would love to take Donatella to the movie theater! They would go see any movie that was showing just to get out of the house

If (and when) Doppio leaves, he promises to come back to Sardegna, but doesn’t tell Donatella where or why he’s going

I do not think he would ever be diagnosed with DID because of how secretive Diavolo is. Most likely he would be medicated for his bipolarity and schizophrenia

Doppio would be very insecure about his mental health and beat himself up for it… Donatella would be supportive!

He reads Trish bedtime stories! But I don’t think he’s good at singing so lullabies aren’t his thing

Despite being relatively quiet in public, Doppio talks a lot when he’s with Donatella

Donatella would teach him how to cook and he would do his very best to learn

Though he doesn’t really enjoy it, he would watch My Little Pony with Trish and take her to see the new Disney/Pixar movies in theaters

He loves celebrating holidays with his family and just being with them in general

[ill-caterpillar-7616]

My life is falling apart and I’m so close to a relapse

My marriage is crumbling due to my own mental health and lack of affection. I feel as though I’m failing my kid at every turn, even when everyone keeps saying I’m doing well or telling me how smart and well-behaved he is. I’ve had to move 2 hours away from my husband and toddler to my mom’s house as my grandmother is now needing 24/7 care probably until she passes (expected within a year but who fucking knows) since no one else in the family can or will be bothered by their own mother dying. An ACTUAL live in caregiver wouldn’t be covered by insurance and would be too expensive. My kid is going to have to live like we have split custody. I feel as though I have barely any true emotional support as my husband is struggling with his own battles that I’m trying so hard to fix/ help with since they’re mostly my fault. My friends are all long-distant or online, and I’m not REALLY that close to any of them at this point in my life. My mother is juggling her job, finances, her mother’s health, her mother’s impending death, another mouth to feed as I can’t bring much monetary assistance to the house, and so much more so it fucking seems like I can’t seem to even ask her to take my kid for 5 minutes after a LONG day, not only doing my duties to my kid and grandmother, but helping my own mother outside even though I have chronic joint pain and a fatigue condition that left me feeling like I was going to collapse from exhaustion, pain, and lack of oxygen by the time I finally pushed my body back inside. SHE WOULDNT EVEN LET ME GET THE QUESTION OUT OF MY MOUTH!! I had been struggling to get him to go to bed for over 30 minutes and I just needed a moment (we do NOT do the cry it out in this household). All I said was”Moma,-“ and it’s all “no, it’s not happening, I have to be up early,” as if I’m not having to ALSO wake up early to get my grandmother dressed, fed, taken to the bathroom, and received her toe fungal meds alongside the other laundry list of medications before she needs to be out the door at 8:30 in the morning

Now, I am aware of my responsibilities as a parent and that as I have MY child, he is MY responsibility, and I don’t want to push him off to other people who have enough on their plate, but to ask for 2 seconds of help from my own mother and to be shot down so quickly and (IMO) cruelly, fucking hurt. I’m taking care of her mother and so far, for just the price of a vape (I’m trying to quit. Also I don’t expect monetary return on help I’m just adding it in I guess. Idk at this point). I have a whole life and family that is falling apart but I know I’m the only option here. My siblings either work or are out of state. My aunts and uncles either have work (which some have the ability to still help even then), their own elderly to care for, or my favorite, care more about their weird church’s “volunteer work” or mowingg their lawn more than coming to help or even fucking visit. Like. Who fuxkin does that?!??!?

So with all of that info… I battled with an addiction to self harm for over 7 years. I’m riddled with scars on my body but I have been 4 years clean as of so far. However, with everything going on, it’s becoming harder and harder to push the thoughts away and think on the things that usually help me get away from those urges/temptations. I hate it because my husband and our baby have been the pillars to my continued clean streak/sobriety(?) and with everything falling apart as it is right now… I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to my sanity if I’m being honest. I have to cancel and put a rain check on both my therapy that I JUST FUCKING STARTED and my psychiatrist appointment (I hope I can just call him and let him know the dosage is fine). It’s all just a big fucking mess.

Im sorry. I know there are many details missing to all of this but it’s not for advice… I just needed to get it off my chest. I can’t tell anyone else. Can’t worry those who are my closest circle bc EVERYONE is dealing with something right now and my BS just …no.

[inner-space-oddity]

Vent under the cut

What I learned from being in a mental hospital for three hours

Yesterday, I called the suicide hotline.

It’s been a long year for me, a long life, really. I’m only 19, but it’s just been a lot.

I’ve struggled with depression for over 10 years, anxiety for over 6, and C-PTSD for over 5. Over the past two years, I’ve developed chronic pain that makes it difficult for me to do the things I love like dancing and going outside.

Yesterday, I just felt so hopeless. My medical bills are adding up every day — my primary care physician recommended I see a psychiatrist (whom I can’t get in with until June), my astigmatism contacts cost over $600/year, I should be seeing a physical therapist per my prescription, and my antidepressants are being exchanged for a different type that will require an EKG (heart monitoring check-up) if I am to start them.

I feel like I haven’t been able to live up the the standards I’ve been given, or even the ones I want to achieve myself. I’ve been in a depressive episode for two weeks now.

So I called the hotline.

Here’s what I learned from the experience.

1) When the responder said he would send someone to come talk to me, three police and three paramedics showed up.

They were all wearing disposable gloves, and they didn’t sit down when I asked them to. They were all standing around me, and I felt cornered.

2) When they came to get me, they sent an ambulance.

It wasn’t scary — I’ve been in an ambulance before, and the medic was nice and she talked to me on the way. They took my blood pressure and pulse continuously on the ride and put seatbelts over my body.

3) Because I didn’t struggle or fight at all (I called willingly and I went willingly), they let me walk into the ER instead of being rolled in on the gurney. I appreciated that because it gave me a sense of control.

4) The mental health rooms in the ER actually looked like those in a horror movie.

This was the most surprising part.

The walls were beige and peeling, there was a blue cot in the middle of the room, and there was a security camera and a mirror in two of the corners. There was no handle on the door, only a lock, which I could use to open it, but I didn’t know I was able to until I left at the end.

They told me to put on scrubs and honestly, when I saw the grippy socks, I broke down sobbing (again). They weren’t even real socks lol, they didn’t have a heel, just grips on either side of the sock. They weren’t comfortable either.

After I got dressed in the scrubs, they opened the door again, but it took a while, and I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone, and they left me in there for at least ten minutes.

I don’t think anyone was actively watching the security cameras, since it took a while for them to come in after I was dressed. (I didn’t take off my underclothes, and I have no qualms with my own nudity, so it didn’t bother me too much.) They could have just been busy — it looked like a high-traffic night. But that doesn’t make it much better.

5) You aren’t allowed to have any personal items at all. At all.

I came in with the bare minimum because I didn’t know what to expect. But when they asked me to put my clothes in a bag, I asked if I could keep my sweatshirt because it’s my comfort item. They said no.

Honestly, I can’t fathom why I can’t have a sweatshirt with me to comfort me, especially since they didn’t provide anything to do after asking me a bunch of questions.

The guy who took my blood (they also collected my urine, both for drug testing purposes) told me he’d asked the administration to provide edible chalk for the residents to draw on the walls.

I have ADHD, so those three hours were THE worst. No chalk for me. I made a fortune teller out of a tissue. XD

6) The nurses misgendered me even after I corrected them.

This is a big reason why I won’t be going back to that specific hospital. I didn’t want to go somewhere that wasn’t connected with the behavioral health service I was already in contact with, but they don’t have ER care so that wasn’t an option.

The nurses also repeatedly used my legal name even though I told them my preferred name and a couple of them wrote it down on the forms.

I can safely say that this is one of The worst things you can do to a transgender person in a mental health crisis.

7) They fed me.

I…. Did not expect that at all. It was very much like a high school lunch, but it was good enough, and it helped improve my mood. They gave me Sprite instead of water, which was probably good for my blood sugar, but considering that I had been crying for the past three hours, it wasn’t exactly the choice I would have made if I were them.

8) As an adult, the hospital didn’t call anyone.

However, since I called the hotline number associated with the service that already had my information and emergency contact, that service did call my emergency contact.

9) Even through everything, my parents still made the 2 1/2 hour drive down to come support me.

I remember the first time I told my mom that I wanted to die, she spanked me. She had said that she raised me better than that, that she raised me to value my life. So when the nurse handed me the phone, I was terrified.

After all the medical bills, the stress, the trouble that I had caused my parents…. I don’t know what I expected, but there wasn’t a hint of anger in my mom’s voice.

And my dad, who always gets cagey when I try to talk to him about my mental and physical health, made the drive as well. He wanted to stay with me while I was hospitalized.

In the end, I was only there for three hours, so my dad went home instead of driving the last hour to see me, but I will see him tomorrow when the family comes to see my concert.

10) Despite everything, I am loved, and you are too.

I’ve been contacted by three different mental health services today. I called my mom this morning because I said I would. My roommate came to pick me up from the hospital even though I hadn’t been a good friend to her in my depression. One of my close friends contacted me this morning to ask to see me.

Hospitalization sucks. It costs money, it costs time and energy, and it feels like it isn’t worth it. But after last night, I think I finally realize how much effort has been put into helping me keep living.

Despite feeling like I’m a burden, like I’ve never done anything good for anyone, like I’m not worth the worry… everyone still came to help me.

I’m not alone. And you’re not either. Even if you think you have no friends or family there for you, there will always be someone in your corner.

You are worth it. You are loved. Seeking help is the strongest and most powerful thing you can do.

You are not weak. You are resourceful and resilient. You will get through this. You will.

[razrrgames]

tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of when i first released after the bell.

a lot has happened in the past 7 years.

i have/had an entire update planned, i wanted to rebuild the game from the ground up, especially since porting it to the steam version of 2003 fucked up the fade transitions.

but i never did.

i’ve tried starting many times, and failed every time.

i don’t think i’ve talked about it here, but im very open about this: i have ADHD and autism. the ADHD is what applies the most here.

the ADHD prevents me from doing what i want, and the RSD makes me overcomplicate things.

back when i made ATB, i was in a hyper focus state on RPGMaker. i had four ongoing projects at once: after i finished the first version of ATB, i was drafting the update, file:blue was added during a horror game jam, riitami, and one other project i literally cannot even remember the name of off the top of my head. i focused hard on these projects, mainly riitami, and then the novelty wore off. this is one of the worst parts of my ADHD. i get really into doing something for a short burst and then i get bored and can’t force myself to do it anymore.

i felt horrible for so long. why can’t i just DO things like everyone else? i need to remake ATB, i need to fix it, i need to take out the stair scene because it was in poor taste, i need to expand on the lore so i stop seeing people asking why ghosts can’t just go through the wall, i need to expand on these characters, etc etc etc. and i just couldn’t do it. i forced myself to come up with a logistical reason for not passing through walls, i rewrote and scrapped and rewrote and scrapped over and over again.

don’t get me wrong. i still do want to update after the bell. i want to remake it. i want to make it better. better maps, better art, better jokes, better characters, etc. but i can’t give you an estimate on when that will happen.

as for the lore of the game,,, i don’t want to put any more thought into it.

i didn’t go into that project with a real plot or world in mind. i just drew a little ghost girl and decided i wanted to make a game about her. then i made her a girlfriend and some classmates. i thought of a very simple fetch quest: getting her name. that’s all it was. nothing more, nothing less.

that said, i have new answers to things.

why can’t she go through walls?

who cares? i’m not gonna make transition events on every wall tile just to satisfy some people who can’t put their suspension of disbelief on hold for a silly ten minute game.

why are all these girls dead?

i don’t know. i just thought one character would be too lonely, so i added some more. i thought more ghosts would be better than filling the space with living characters and then dealing with whatever allows them to communicate.

and there was one person that once said in a comment that it was weird that protag’s parents had the same last name. that has always been a strange thought to me. they’re married? one took the other’s last name?

i don’t really know what i’m rambling about at this point.

in the past seven years (in no particular order), i have moved out, got my drivers license, lost my job, got another job, was ghosted out of that job, gotten a new job that destroyed my soul, fell into a deep depression at the start of the lockdown, went back to the soul crushing job once it resumed, fell out with my roommate, moved back in with my parents, quit my old job and got another job that i now love, adopted a hamster, had her until she passed away earlier this year from health complications, made friends, lost friends, started and ended therapy, got a psychiatrist, got on anxiety medication, started (trying) ADHD meds, started dating my girlfriend, saw her in person twice, was briefly hospitalized to get my first surgery (gall bladder removal), had ANOTHER surgery (septoplasty + removing polyps), went to new york to meet old friends twice, went thru multiple medications trying to find something to help me sleep at night, came out to my mother as a lesbian (she still does not know my gender identity), met some of the people who would become some of the most important people in my life, cried over dnd (positive), started writing stories again, tabled at a lot of conventions…

it’s been a long and wild road. and in those seven years, i have thought about the ATB cast. i know the game got a little traction when it was first released, and i’m a little shocked that it seems to get a lot more attention in spanish speaking communities! that’s a lil crazy to me! not in a bad way of course. i think that’s really cool. sharing our creations and experiences across different language communities is one of the coolest things in the world.

i’ve seen praise and criticism that have helped me think about my work as an artist, and some that have hindered me a bit. nevertheless, i’ve grown a lot since then. at least i hope so.

im rambling about a lot of things. sorry. my train of thought is more like a spaghetti junction, lol

at the end of the day, these silly little ghost girls were my first real journey into RPGmaker. i’d loved playing games for a long time and had made one shoddy little thing before, but ATB was my first real release. i’ve thought about these girls a lot. i don’t think too hard about their world, the lore doesn’t really matter to me; it was just a silly little game i made with no real forethought.

one day i will deliver that remake to you. i don’t know when. i love these characters, simple as they are, and i want to do right by them. im even thinking of asking for help, as i clearly have a lot of trouble moving forward; help with setting up maps and transitions is the most important thing, as i’m not very good at layouts or mapping, but i can handle all the artwork and writing dialogue myself. i also want to commission someone for custom music, as the original music used in the game was generated via online programs because i am also, shockingly (/sarcasm), terrible at music composition. or more like i have no experience with it. i’m tone deaf as all hell.

that is not financially viable for me right now, unfortunately (i owe my parents like $800 for insurance + some assistance from when bebbie passed away) and i do not want to just. not pay people for their work. as an artist i understand the value of the work that goes into these things, and i’m not about to run around asking for free help with a silly little ghost game. i want to be able to pay my help appropriately for their time and effort. that said, if you’d be interested in helping out when that time comes (paid of course, i can’t tell you when that’ll be bc as much as i love my job i don’t make a lot of money) please let me know.

i should bring this rambling to a close.

thank you for seven years of silly ghost girls. it’s been a long time, but i hope that these girls pop into your thoughts from time to time to say hello, as they do for me. i want to do them better, even if they are just a couple of silly middle school lesbian ghosts.

thank you for your patience and support. i’m sorry i haven’t lived up to be the person or developer that i wanted to be. i’m sorry i failed to bring you something to play so many times and for so long. i hope you can forgive me.

thank you, thank you, thank you.