#and actually would have allowed him to see the situation more clearly cough cough season 4!

[humandisorderincarnatedean]

SCREAM just saw someone say that castiel deciding to protect Kelly and her future angel baby in s12 was their favourite turn in his story, because it was 'the first time he made a choice out of himself, without being blinded by heaven or by the winchesters' morals' SCREAM

[pupandangelscoffee]

Thank you, Next

Eddie x Reader / Buck x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Warnings: mentions of blood, the fire truck crash from season 2, basically injury, creepy perverts, being locked up (small mention of it)

Taglist: @enterprise-medical

It was a stormy night in LA as Buck navigated the firetruck back to the fire station. He had taken it out for a ride, with Bobby’s permission, after you had called his sister saying you were stuck in some creep’s apartment. Maddie had befriended you after you opened your café again despite usually closing half an hour ago. So Buck didn’t really expect that you would look so cute while cuddled up in his jacket, something he normally wouldn’t give it away, but you seemed so helpless and like you were freezing in just your underwear. Besides, he promised his sister that he would take care of you as he brought you back to the station, where she was going to pick you up.

Jumping out of the door, Buck closed the door as quietly as possible before shushing everyone in the firehouse and only getting your sleeping form out of the truck after everyone quieted down. Maddie watched as her baby brother carried her sleeping friend up the stairs, trying not to smile or squeal at how cute the scene was. She had tried to convince you repeatedly to go on a date with her brother, though you would always decline stating that hot firefighting fuckboys simply weren’t your type. But apparently “I-am-cute-lemme-lock-you-in-my-room” was your type or well at least seemed to be your type because this was not the first date that went horribly wrong that Maddie witnessed you having, usually having to find some way to bail you out. Although, it has never gotten this bad.

“Earth to Maddie,” Buck grumbled, waving his hand in front of Maddie’s face as he tried to get her to come back to them instead of being lost in her own little world. Shaking her head to regain her vision, she chuckled as you sat up to wave at her. “Looks like sleeping beauty is awake and waiting for their prince charming,” she teased you and wiggled her eyebrows while glancing in Buck’s direction, earning a groan and the bird from you. “I am never ever going to go on a date with anyone again. Nunca!!” You grumbled, hiding your face in a pillow as you did kind of feel bad for making someone steal a firetruck just because you were incapable of reading a person. “Qué pena.” Eddie stated, walking past you and sending you a wink when you look up in shock. “Habla Español?” You asked, not having expected it. “Sí.” Eddie nodded and send you a cheekish grin before handing you a bottle of water. “Do you feel a bit better? You seemed quite out of it when you arrived with Buck.” He continued, immediately checking your vitals and reactions to make sure that you were actually doing alright. “You get locked in an apartment by a creepy guy in his 40s and then tell me you wouldn’t be out of it.” You retorted, sticking your tongue out at Eddie causing him to poke your sides to see if you were ticklish. Squeaking, you jumped up and tried to run away from the firefighter, not wanting to get tickled. However, Eddie’s reflexes were a lot quicker than yours and he immediately started chasing you, quickly managing to catch you and pick you up.

The rest of the Firefam, including Maddie, just stood there watching you and Eddie. When Buck had brought you in, they had agreed that you seemed more of Buck’s type than Eddie’s as the older of the two was known to be the more serious one of the two. Yet somehow you managed to light him up in a completely new way, something they had never seen before and slowly they changed their minds on who’s type you really were. Even if Buck did not look pleased while watching you two, after all, he had “stolen” a firetruck and almost broken a window just to save you from some creep, yet instead of thanking him properly, you were playing and laughing with Eddie. “They are really cute together,” Hen stated, a smile playing on her lips though quickly putting on a stoic facial expression upon seeing Buck’s glare. “Well they are, though I still think she would suit you better, Buck.” Maddie whispered to her brother before ruffling his hair.

A few months have passed since you had met Eddie and to say that you two have gotten close would be an understatement. You had actually shared his bed with him on multiple occasions now after a long day with him and his son Chris, who you immediately adored after meeting the first time. At first, it took some time for Chris to warm up to you, however, now he seemed to always be attached to your hip whenever you were around. Sometimes, Buck would hang out with you three, though he would have a bitter expression on his face whenever no one was looking.

Right now, you were sitting on the couch in the firehouse when the news hit that the firetruck was crushing Buck’s leg and your heart froze watching the pained expression on Buck’s face. You tried to see as much as possible of the scene, scared that any of the other members of the firefam were injured but the camera simply did not have a good view. So without another thought, you grabbed your car keys and raced to the scene, terrified for Buck’s and the other’s fate.

When you arrived at the scene, they would not let you close as there was still a bomb threat. As soon as Bobby took care of the threat, a frown on your lips as you watched the young man who felt like he had lost everything, and the crowd ran to help lift the truck, you ran with it. However, instead of moving to lift the truck, you dropped on your knees right in front, cradling his face in your hands. “Hey beautiful, come here often?” Buck asked you, a small grin on his lips as you giggled, shaking your head a bit at the young firefighter. Always such a flirt, even in a situation where he could lose his leg and possibly never work in the job he loved ever again.

All throughout Buck’s recovery you stuck to his side, cooking him meals, and coming to all of his doctor meetings with him. You would be lying if you said that you two didn’t grow closer during that period of his life, even sharing a drunken kiss. He had initiated it after one too many beers and you just melted into it, not wanting to upset the already broken firefighter. Yet at the same time, it certainly had been one of the best kisses you have shared with someone. And you could now proudly say that your gaming skills have improved, while Buck’s baking skills improved as well, due to you dragging him along to your little café and allowing him to bake as many goods as you wanted. You even ate them willingly once they stopped coming out of the oven looking like a piece of charcoal.

Soon enough, he was cleared to go back to working as a firefighter and despite feeling slightly upset that you would no longer be spending your days with the sweet, smart and cunning young firefighter, you were happy to see the light return to his eyes. But then the party happened, he coughed up blood, because he was pushing himself too harshly and you had to watch the light fade again. After Bobby told him that he was clearly not ready to be in the field yet, you stood by Buck’s side as rage took over his whole being and he decided to sue the city and Bobby, leaving you to be stuck between a hard place and a rock.

Now you were standing in front of Buck and Eddie after they had a big fight and they were expecting to choose. Will you choose Buck and stick by him as he destroys all his relationships for his job? Or will you choose Eddie and leave Buck to fight this battle all alone?

BUCK

EDDIE

SURPRISE

[floralovebot]

I really liked your aisha meta about her bonding and i was wondering what you think is her biggest weakness? And the other characters too if that's okay. Thank you:)

Oh thank you!! Hmm I had to think about this one for a second but I'll try to give you some good answers! Though to be fair, I think most of what I listed are things that have already been said aljdhgjladg

I do want to note, I think all of the major characters had room for growth and self-development especially within the first three seasons. We all know that characterization made a huge nose dive after season 4, so I'm not really going to be talking about the later seasons as they aren't super representative of their personalities (however, i will occasionally mention them for certain characters). \

Anyway, onto our beloved characters mental issues and why they should all be in therapy <3

The Winx

Bloom: I think Bloom is actually a very well rounded main character! She has positives and negatives and those don't often conflate with each other (and I think most of her "too perfect" characterization comes from later seasons). Because of that, I had a hard time thinking about what her biggest weakness is because,, she has a few. However, I think something that stays very consistent throughout the series is her escapism. Bloom is a major escapist, especially when she's feeling unworthy. She has a lot on her plate! And a lot of people rely on her, which naturally can lead to some pretty heavy thoughts ("Am I doing the right thing?" "Do I deserve to be the leader?" "What if they're safer without me?"), however those feelings, when they become too much, often leave her feeling like people are truly better off without her. Then she runs off to Gardenia or she shuts people out or she takes on some dangerous mission just to get away from people. Her escapism often leaves everyone, including her, feeling shitty and it would've been nice to see her grow from that.

Stella: Hmmm, so again most of the early characterization gave the characters a couple of weaknesses so I had a hard time thinking of what Stella's biggest one would be. However, something that I've always noticed about Stella that's always made me feel bad, is her extreme I Need To Fit In Or No One Will Love Me attitude. And obviously that goes into her childhood and upbringing, but it's something that stays with her even after meeting the Winx and having all those You're Perfect The Way You Are talks with Bloom. She often changes her personality/attitude/emotions to fit what she thinks other people will like most. But that heavily goes into her insecurities of thinking people only like her because she's pretty or a princess. Stella's a smart girl and she notices how people respond to what she's doing. But when she's changing something about herself to get others to like her and they respond positively to it? That's horrible for her overall self-esteem and to her just confirms her fears that people don't love her for her true self.

Edit: I absolutely don't want to come off as if I'm saying Stella's personality is fake! Here's a further explanation for hers!

Flora: I think some people might disagree with me on this one, but I genuinely believe Flora's biggest weakness is how often she rushes into something. On one hand, it's admirable and shows how strong she is, but on the other hand, it says a lot about how she lets her emotions run her and often doesn't think things through when someone she loves is in danger or she thinks she needs to do something Right Now. Unless someone else prompts it, Flora often doesn't plan or try to think things through rationally. I don't think it's a bad thing to be in tune with your emotions, but it can become a weakness when you only ever think with your heart and what it's feeling at That Moment In Time. Instead of trying to think rationally or make a plan, Flora often just follows her heart immediately, but that can be a bad thing when her heart is hurting and she's not thinking clearly.

Aisha: It's definitely her attitude of needing to appear emotionally strong all the time. Aisha gives more of herself than she receives from others and a lot of that comes from her need to be seen as Reliable and Good. However, that often means she doesn't get the time to sit with how she's feeling or she pushes her emotions down. She doesn't want people to know that she's feeling upset because she doesn't want people to feel bad for her or use their energy to comfort her. Aisha is definitely a "other people have it worse so what happened to me doesn't matter" kind of person and that's often what hurts her the most. She doesn't let herself be vulnerable and often only does so when she truly can't handle it by herself anymore. And I think this heavily goes into her childhood and how she's had to be independent from a very young age. Aisha doesn't know how to let other people in.

Tecna: Hmmm, on one hand I'd like to say it's her internal battle with her logical side vs her emotional side,, so I'm going to. Personally, I think Tecna is a lot better at emotions than she gives herself credit for, and I think that's her biggest weakness. She doesn't give herself any credit when it's something that doesn't come naturally to her. Tecna had to work on being more emotive and reading other people's emotions correctly and by S2 she's already doing so much better than she was, but she refuses to recognize that. Tecna is so stuck in the "what if i'm too logical/not emotional enough and my friends hate me because of it" headspace that she doesn't even see the progess she has made. Honestly, Tecna being too logical/not emotional enough hasn't been a real issue for years and she doesn't even realize that. It's a little ironic actually, she's so caught up in her emotions about being too logical she can't see how far she's come.

Musa: Her trust issues. Personally, I think Musa's biggest weakness is her problem with trusting people. Because she just.. doesn't. Musa has a really hard time letting people in (for rightful reasons) but she once she does let them in, she has a hard time trusting them too. This is most obvious with her relationship with Riven, but it also comes out with the Winx! She's constantly scared that people are going to leave her or that they don't really like her or that they do like her but she's going to end up driving them away and all of that negatively impacts her relationship with others. She just,, doesn't trust people and has an even harder time trusting herself. I think if Musa had been allowed to truly work through that, she would be much happier.

The Specialists

Sky: I think Sky's biggest weakness is pretty obvious! It's that he does not know how to interact with people. I think I'm one of the few people that doesn't actually hate Sky. I hate that, just like the other characters, he had room for improvement and self-realization, which got scrapped almost instantly for Perfect Prince Sky. Sky, like most of the other royal characters, grew up pretty lonely (and his parents are abslute shit). The only other people he would ever talk to are members of his family, other royals, or people who weren't royal but were close enough to it (ie Brandon and even Diaspro depending on which canon you go by). Because of this, Sky has a really hard time interacting with people in a casual setting. He's great in royal settings and all their missions, but that's because he's allowed to and supposed to act all serious and Business Like. When it comes to talking to people in casual settings, he often fails because he doesn't understand "normal" people and he's never been allowed to just,, sort through his own feelings. It would've been amazing to Sky grow from this, because even in the first season you see hints of Sky rejecting royalty and wanting to be normal. MAN I wish Sky got proper characterization, he would've been so much better if he did.

Brandon: Oh man,, I had a really hard time with this one, because Brandon honestly doesn't have a lot of weaknesses? I think something that could be considered a weakness is that,, he's very devoted once he decides he cares about someone. Which isn't bad! But it often puts him in dangerous situations because he wants to save someone. Like anytime Sky gets into trouble, Brandon is for sure right by his side. Or if someone messes with Stella? Brandon's there. And again, this definitely isn't a Bad Thing, but it can put his own life in danger. And in their line of work it often does. However, I do think this is mostly evened out because of Brandon's ability to call for help and think of a plan. He doesn't often just jump into things unless it's absolutely necessary. He's able to think things through clearly and strategize. Sorry anon but I honestly can't think of any Big Weakness for Brandon, because most of his weaknesses are evened out by some positive. (Like, I was going to say he's a bit of a pushover but,, is he? Then I thought well maybe it's because he's ready to die for Sky,, but like. That's his job? Idk man,, any Brandon stans wanna chime in please?)

Timmy: Hmmm I, once again, had some troubles with this one. Timmy has a few weaknesses, mostly in the insecurity region, but I had a hard time figuring out what his Biggest Weakness is. After some thought, I think it's his eagerness to prove himself, specifically when he doesn't need to. I think this definitely evened out in the later seasons once he got some confidence, but in the early seasons Timmy really wanted to prove himself. He wanted to prove that he was a good specialist, a good friend, a good partner,, just,, everything. He was really set out to prove that he was capable of things. This often put him in dangerous situations that he couldn't handle or something he could handle but was too nervous to. It didn't help that in early seasons some of the other characters doubted his abilities (cough tecna cough). But again, I think this really evened out by S4 and it's not a big problem anymore.

Riven: Ugh goodness where to start.. I think Riven's biggest weakness is actually a mix of Musa's and Timmy's. Riven has a hard time trusting people, especially himself, and he's constantly trying to prove himself. He wants to be seen as reliable and Good and that's where a lot of his competition with other characters, mostly Sky, comes in. But that heavily mixes with his distrust and hatred toward himself. I think most of his Trying To Prove Himself is actually him trying to prove something to himself. He's constantly looking down on himself and that need to prove and be better than other people is a product of that. And I think that's also why he has problems with letting people in. Obviously, he has some general trust issues, with wondering if people just don't like him and what not, but a lot of it is not trusting himself and not letting people get close to him because of that. Riven's biggest weakness is that he doesn't give himself any credit for the progress he's made and is constantly doubting whether or not he's a good person. And that messes with his relationships a lot because he thinks he's not good enough to be around people and that sparks his need to to prove himself. And even when his friends do try to comfort him or say he's enough, he doubts that too. Riven has a lot of problems but most of them go into how much he hates himself.

Helia: Well, as one of the resident Helia stans, I've thought about this a lot. And I've got to say, his biggest weakness is his complete inability to talk about himself. A lot of people think Helia is really good at talking about emotions, but that's only partially true. He's good at talking about other people's emotions. When it comes to himself,,, he's a mess. Helia is consistently really bad at sharing his feelings and even just general tidbits about his life (evidenced by all the times he does/says something and the others get surprised because they never knew that,, years into their friendship). However, this often strains his relationships with people because they end up thinking he hates them or doesn't trust them or something else. While I have my own issues with the later seasons, S5 did a really good job at focusing on this in the show (when it really only ever got hinted at or shown in the comics). The whole Flora/Helia/Krystal thing was a major product of Helia never sharing anything about his own life and Flora's insecurities over if she's good enough. With the mix of being able to talk to people about their feelings, but never his own, it creates this really awkward situation of people just like,, not knowing things about him and then doubting their relationship, but then not being confident enough to express that because Helia still talks to them about their feelings so he must care about them!! .. but does he? It's this internal struggle of he's obviously a friend but why doesn't he ever share anything about himself?? This is even shown in his relationship with Saladin, a literal family member!

I'm.. gonna stop here for now ajghaljdhglj I'm sorry this got so long! And that some of them were shorter than others..

[beyondd-dazedd]

EPISODE👏 REVIEW👏 hsmtmts season 2 episode 9 let’s go

let me start off by saying pORTWELL NATION HOW WE FEELING??? more on portwell later

i liked this episode! not as much as the last one but i kind of expected that. it’s kind of the nature of television where if you have a big episode with a lot of plot then the next episode will be character driven.

ej my beloved. i love him so much and that’s it. that’s the tweet.

we love the zoom vibes very topical (also does covid not exist in the hsmtmts universe because that is a very interesting concept)

seblos tension?? no thanks. but ej and ash being cute?? yes please. also ashlyn saying red is her soulmate made my heart SO happy. also ej’s face when gina popped up was enough to fuel my portwell heart for at least the next week.

i loved the dive into gina’s character a bit more this episode. she was so soft omfg and i’ll give her this her attempt with the gate agent was a good one.

ASHER!! ok i thought jack and gina’s dynamic was very cute but not enough to live up to portwell excellency. i like how easily gina opened up to jack because the only other people she really does that with is the caswells who are obviously very close to the whole situation. i think it was good seeing her talk more about herself and her life and her confusion about everything. i thought it was really clever that they used jack as a cheeky andi mack reference but also as a way to help move gina’s character forward because she really needed that push. gina was so precious in this episode for so many reasons. she really did better with her improvising which seemed to be something she struggled with whether it was due to things going on during the Yes And episode or just her struggling with being able to improvise. seeing her actually be able to do that with jack warmed my heart. i love how gina really openly communicated how she felt closer towards the end. she basically was like i think you’re cute jack but i need someone who is going to be there (cough cough EJ). i thought the banter was really cute between them at the end and jack telling her where the safest place on the plane was just made me so happy.

MY BABY EJ i loved him in this episode despite how little screen time he really had. him being a bit of a kid with all of his and ash’s old stuff gave me big flash backs to being a senior and trying to hold onto childhood before college. also it was a side of him we don’t really get to see. he’s very intense and that’s just who he is but seeing him be a little goofy made my heart happy. also can we talk about gina being the first person he calls about ash painting his nails because 1) YES FUCK GENDER STEREOTYPES and 2) he wanted gina’s opinion on that which was so cute but also i loved that you could still see that his nails were painted when he meets gina at the airport partially because i’m a sucker for little continuity things but it also shows that he didn’t really care what other people thought. he just wanted gina’s opinion. also i feel like we’re one step closer to bi ej and since i project on him too much and i’m bi that makes me happy. EJ IS BI DISNEY ARE JUST COWARDS. also his dancing was so endearing omfg

PORTWELL NATION the ending was so amazing. gina really had that moment of realization that ej had in the quinceañero episode which was AMAZING but also gina saying that she’s just waiting for a sign for the right person and ej just showing up at the airport to pick her up and he has a granola bar for her?? shows he’s the right one. so he obviously knows gina well enough to know that her go to snack is a granola bar. he also brought it just in case she was hungry. he also took her bags for her aND HE DROVE TO THE AIRPORT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO GET HER AND PROMISED TO DROP HER OFF IN THE MORNING. it’s obvious that he gets her and she gets him and it also shows both of their progress from season 1 to now. gina is allowing people to help her after spending most of her life pushing through on her own and ej is becoming more and more selfless when he was used to being self centered to meet everyone’s expectations. i would pay all of the money in my bank account to see some of the missing scenes where ej and gina are getting to know one another.

alright moving promptly along to literally everything else in this episode. nini is clearly having issues focusing on her music account. it could be from all of the changes recently or it could be because her main topic of song writing has been her love life and without ricky she doesn’t really have that. she’s just nini. however i did love seeing ash and nini team up to write the song. we need to see more of them together because that’s an iconic friendship (would also love to see more of nini and ej being friends because everything before this episode felt very tense between them. rightly so but still). ricky this episode was so relatable. i have been exactly where he’s been. wrapped up in a blanket feeling sad over things and just replaying everything that went wrong (i’m a ricky apologist through and through and i’ll admit it. some of y’all are just way too harsh on him holy shit). i HATE lynn but i hate her a little less because she mentioned therapy for ricky. all in all though she’s still a shitty parent and it’s evident that ricky has suffered from her mistakes. ricky’s song BROKE me. like i spent 30 mins crying over that song because joshua’s voice is just so raw and emotional and he has an amazing way of capturing the emotion of songs when he sings them. i also think the contrast between ricky and nini’s varying degrees of ability to write songs right now is interesting. i’m sure we’re going to have another season 1 moment with a big confession and them getting back together but i sort of don’t want that. i am a rini shipper until the day I die but i understand what it’s like getting out of a relationship where your whole identity is built around the other person and i think they both need time to grow and mature as people before they get back together. but this is a disney show so i know that they won’t go for that.

all in all, good episode!! there’s a lot of plot lines that need to be wrapped up and some stuff to propel them into season 3 so i’m interested to see what they decide to address now and what they decide to leave for the next season. i was not super into the plot for this season at the beginning of it but i think episode 5 was really a turning point and really got my attention for the rest of the episodes. i’ll catch y’all back here next week for another review

[ilalos]

Lavender dreams-(Anthony Bridgerton x OC)-Part 3/3

Word count: 2k

A few hours had gone by when Simon finally showed up in Anthony’s room holding a small stack of papers in his hands.

“What is that?” Asked Anthony.

“The prenuptial agreement sent by her father that details her dowry, her dress allowance and some other important information” Antony didn’t even read the document and just signed it, he knew Lord Gillingham was an honest man and frankly he did not care about how much Grace’s dowry was. Simon didn’t have much else to say, he was responsible for finding her a match (thanks to his wife) and Anthony was the man Grace had clearly chosen, so the duke’s job was done.

“What about Lord Watts? Didn’t he propose?” Suddenly Anthony seemed to remember the reason for him to be out late at night in that tavern.

“No, he wanted to do it at his house, it was going to happen today” now Anthony felt a bit silly having been so upset over something that didn’t even happen “I already spoke with him and informed him that she had gotten engaged to you”

“I bet he wasn’t happy”

“He wasn’t, accused me of deceiving him but I simply explained that I was unaware of the deep feelings she held for you, and much less that you reciprocated them” It hadn’t been a pleasant conversation and Earl Watts had certainly been mad but the duke couldn’t do much, he hadn’t actually proposed so there was no real engagement.

Simon left soon after that and Anthony was left alone once again. Sometime later his mother entered accompanied with a maid that held a tray of food that she was prompt to leave by his bed before leaving Lady Bridgerton and her son alone.

“Are you here to congratulate me, mother?”

“Yes, but I’m also here ask what were you doing last night in such a horrid place?” His mother sat by his side and watched as he picked pieces of bread not wanting to answer.

“It is not important now”

“It is if it got you oh so terribly hurt”

“I was trying to drown my grieve in liquor and didn’t want anyone from the ton recognizing me” he chuckled, saying it out loud made him realize how foolish he had been “And I didn’t want to drink here in our home because I didn’t want any of you to see me like that”

“Grieving from what? Are you thinking about your father again?” She grabbed his hand and looked at him with pity.

“No, mother, I was grieving the loss of the woman I love”

“You better not be speaking about that singer Anthony Bridgerton“ she warned.

“Grace is the woman I love” it was the first time he had said that out loud and it felt good “I thought I had lost her after Earl Watts talked about asking for her hand in marriage”

“Oh son, if only you would’ve spoken up about your feelings, all of this could’ve been avoided” Violet recognized that maybe the sudden death of his father had made Anthony harsh and unwilling to love, so maybe him not speaking up about his feelings was just a result of all those years of emotional hardship.

“I know I was a fool, but I get a second chance and I’m not going to let her go now” her mother smiled at him and caressed his face, oh how quickly her children had grown up.

She sat with him planning the wedding and making a list of everything they needed to prepare for the ceremony, Anthony just watched her amused at her excitement. She continued like that for sometime, occasionally looking at her son to see if he was paying attention, he only nodded along thinking that this was maybe a conversation to be had between his mother and his future wife; speaking of which, how was she?

“Mother” he interrupted her mid sentence “Where is Grace? Shouldn’t you be having this conversation with her?”

“Her little adventure last night has made her terribly sick and she is resting now”

“Well did you call the doctor? Why did no one inform me of this? I must see her right now, make sure she is okay” he ignored the pain from his injuries as he stood up and hurried to put on proper clothes.

“You shouldn’t be up, son, just rest and tomorrow you may see her” Violet didn’t even know why she was trying to convince him, if her children had anything in common it was definitely their stubbornness.

“I mustn’t wait one more second before checking on her, she is my future wife and I won’t leave her alone when she needs me the most” he was struggling to get his clothes on so his mother gave up and called the footman so he could help her son get dressed, she also sent a maid to call the doctor because she knew her son would request his presence.

Once he was finally dressed and presentable, Anthony all but ran to Daphne’s old bedroom, were Grace was staying. He entered the room quietly, to not disturb her, and was saddened by what he saw. She had her eyes closed and looked as if she was asleep but a sudden spurt of violent coughing made her double over holding her chest with a pained expression, it was then when she noticed his presence.

“My lord!” Cough “You shouldn’t be” cough “Here”

“Shhh” he shushed her softly and helped her lay back down “I shouldn’t see my future wife when she is sick?” He chuckled watching as a deep blush crept up her already rosy cheeks.

“I- future wife?”

“Truly someone must’ve told you about me asking for your hand” he grabbed a nearby chair and sat by her bedside.

“I’m sorry to inform you that someone was yet to come bearing those news”

“Well then allow me to be the carrier of such joyous information, we are getting married” before she could speak, he continued “And yes, your father has been notified and will probably be on his way as soon as he gets the letter that I personally wrote”

“If I may ask, why did you asked for my hand? You mustn’t take pity on me for my foolish actions I-“ Anthony held both her hands and brought them to his chest.

“Worry not, my dear, I proposed because I have love for you and I want you to be my wife” he kissed her knuckles but frowned upon seeing her eyes fill with tears “Unless I read the situation wrong and you bear no feelings for me, if that is the case I couldn’t possibly force you to marry me” he let go of her hands and was standing up when a soft hand on his wrist stopped him.

“You did not misread anything, I do love you and” a fit of coughs stopped her and he patted her back waiting for it to subside “my foolish actions are a statement of just how deep my love runs”

Anthony smiled felling absolutely happy and at peace with where his life was at, his family was safe and he had found the perfect match for him to help him run their home and to give him an heir, while it was true he hadn’t intended to fall in love he wouldn’t complain now that he had found his love match. He knew it was inappropriate but the desire to feel her lips against his overcame him, he grabbed her cheeks and watched smug how her lips parted on their own accord, their faces were inches apart and just as he was about to kiss her he pulled apart with a concerned expression.

“Your skin is burning up” he confirmed this by pressing the back of his hand against her forehead “Have you seen a doctor yet?”

“Is just a cold Anthony, no need to call the doctor for that” Grace could kill him for teasing her like that, they were so close.

“Nonsense, I shall send for the doctor immediately”

“No need son, he’s here” Lady Bridgerton was glad her intuition was right.

The doctor entered and kicked everyone out the room. While he was in there, Anthony and his mother were waiting anxious outside. Violet watched her son try to mask how worried he was by standing completely still but his nervousness showed in the way he checked his watch every minute and how he seemed to lean against the door when muffled voices could be heard.

“She will be alright, son, it’s merely a cold she got from riding in the rain”

“I’ve seen grown men perish for less” he said it without thinking and immediately regretted it “I am terribly sorry, mother, I meant no harm with my harsh words”

“I know son” she squeezed his hand reassuring.

The doctor came out of the room and Anthony practically pounced on him to get answers.

“Your fiancé is quite all right, Lord Bridgerton” the doctor pretty much rolled his eyes at Anthony’s anxious behavior.

“‘Quite alright?’ She is coughing like she is dying!” his mother had to place a hand in his chest to refrain him from attacking the doctor.

“She is coughing like she has a cold, sir, I have given her another dose of the same concoction she drank yesterday and left extra doses for her to take every night and morning for the next week” after that the doctor excused himself and left.

Anthony wanted to believe that everything was well but given his history with loved ones he felt like something was wrong, he felt like that pretty much all the time but usually he’ll believe everything is fine in the name of logic and facts; but now it seemed impossible to ignore the bad feeling because even if it was small, the was a chance something might go wrong and he could lose her.

“She will be fine” Violet pulled her son form his inner turmoil of thoughts before it got too dark “Why don’t you go be with her?”

///Time jump\\\

The best way to top off the season is to do it with a wedding, and the union between of the most eligible bachelor and the diamond of the season was the best event to mark the end of the social season. Violet Bridgerton had outdone herself with the wedding party, there were so many flowers and decor that it looked like she had transferred Versailles to Lady Danbury’s house.

The groom and bride said their yes before a priest like any respectable couple of the highest levels of society. Anthony wanted to murder the priest for taking so long in the ceremony, he had waited months to finally kiss his bride and the man seemed to be taking ages with the ceremony. One would have thought that Anthony Bridgerton, the biggest rake in the ton, would not care for propriety and would’ve kissed his bride ages before the ceremony, and he did tried to but his mother knew of his intentions and made sure they were never left alone.

“You may kiss the bride”

The priest didn’t even get to finish before Anthony placed both hands on Grace’s face and kissing her deeply, so passionately that the priest had to interrupt by clearing his throat, reminding the couple of where they were. They pulled apart quickly and a deep blush covered Gigi’s cheeks, Anthony only chuckled taking her hand and walking her out of the church.

Anthony had decided, in favor of not inconveniencing his family, to ride with his wife to the London townhouse. On the way there he kissed her until her lips were swollen and red, later she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes before whispering

“Wake me up when we get home”

Finally Anthony had his own home, with a wife who would’ve bear children for him, children he would love just as much as his father did him.

˜˜˜˜The End˜˜˜˜

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Sooo there it is, the end :) I accidentally posted a draft and my anxiety got the best of me so it took me ages to write this haha still, I hope you enjoy it and if you read it know that I appreciate you :):):):):):):)

[managedmischiefs]

north//chapter sixteen

genre: angst

warnings: prison, stabbing, solitary confinement, mention of deaths

word count: 3.2k

summary: spencer is spiraling. amelia is too. being apart is weighing on them and hope has run out.

pairing: season 12 spencer reid x oc

like, comment, and reblog :) enjoy!!

SPENCER

Guilt is a feeling I'm far too familiar with. Guilt is something I can't escape and guilt is something that has run my life. Guilt always seems to follow me wherever I go like a black cloud floating over my head.

I always thought that strong panic could easily outweigh guilt, but clearly, I've learned my lesson. As I hear the coughs and cries and screams of agony from the other prisoners on my cell block, the panic settles in my body.

Rossi told me I was a good person. He swore I wouldn't be changed by these people and this place and he was wrong. He was so utterly and horribly wrong and I know if he ever finds out about this, he would be so disappointed in me.

And Amelia. My beautiful, sweet, innocent girl. What if she found out about this? What if she finds out that I purposely poisoned a batch of drugs? What would she think? Would she hate me? Would she leave me? I'm barely surviving prison but I wouldn't survive her leaving me. I could never survive life without her.

But I'm doing what I can survive. But I had a million ways out of this situation. I had a million ways to get myself out of moving those drugs and instead any of those other simpler, cleaner, easier ways, I chose to poison them. I chose the way that would cause pain and suffering for those who have wronged me, and I unintentionally chose pain and suffering for the one person who has helped me out in here. And now that Shaw is gone and off to the infirmary, what's going to happen to me? Now that my protection is gone, am I at risk again?

But then the panic starts to dissipate. The panic dissipates and all I feel this guilt. Overwhelming, suffocating guilt. I feel horrible. I feel like the worst person to walk planet earth. I am the worst person to walk the planet. I watch all these men get rushed onto gurneys and run down hallways on the arms of correctional officers and it makes my heart sink.

I'm officially one of them. I didn't even want to move the drugs. I was so adamant about not allowing this contraband to be distributed to the inmates and I did everything I could to not have to move them, but I got pushed against the wall and held down, literally and figuratively. I had no choice.

And just when I don't need it, Tara shows up. She shows up, waving her doctorate degree in the air, telling me that we need to do another cognitive. Another cognitive. Another cognitive. She needs to dive into my mangled brain yet again to figure out what happened in Mexico just twenty-four hours after I poisoned half of my cell block. Another cognitive could help with Stephen's new way of finding Scratch. What is that new way? She didn't even say. I don't even want to know.

But it's something to do. It's something to distract from the guilt that's eating me alive. It's something to distract me from the things I think when I'm in my cell. It's something to distract me from the images of Malcolm shaking on the floor or Delgado bleeding out. It's something.

But even though it's something, the pain is there. The pain of Mexico resurfaces and hits me tenfold. The pain beats me against my chest and bolts me to my chair, stinging the scar on my hand. This isn't what I need. I didn't need to be reminded of my trauma as more trauma is unfolding before my eyes.

"You're helping Nadie and she's responding," Tara coaches me through the cognitive.

I rack my brain for answers and images and sounds and smells but it just comes up blank. "There's nothing I can do."

"And what about him? I mean, you must feel him in your peripheral vision, behind you somewhere."

"Yeah, he's behind me." It's almost like I can feel him standing behind me now, watching me to make sure I don't reveal his hidden identity to Tara. Why can't I just put Scratch's face there and this can all be over? I can use say it was him and I can collect my get-out-of-jail free card. "I can feel him watching me, and I'm--"

My eyelids fly open, desperate to erase an image that has materialized in my head. It's horrifying and bloody and there's no way it can be true. But it must be true if I'm seeing it. It's true. That's it. This is the big answer everyone has been waiting for and it's the answer nobody believed could be possible.

"What is it?" Tara's voice seems so far away and so distant.

"It was me. I killed her."

Tara's face softens and I don't know how she could possibly look at me like that. "Spencer," I rise from my chair and go rushing to the door, banging on it to alert a guard that this is over and I'm ready to return to my cell, "Spencer, that's not possible. Reid!"

I don't sleep a wink. I don't even lay in bed. I don't want to face the nightmares of me stabbing an innocent woman who just wanted to help my mother. An innocent woman who had a family and a husband or wife and children and a whole life to live. Selfishly, I don't want to see that. And maybe I deserve to. Maybe that should be my punishment for killing her, as if prison isn't punishment enough.

I sit on the floor. I work out until my muscles can't hold my weight. I stare at the wall. I gaze out the window. I do everything I can to stay awake and I'm successful. I contemplate celebrating when I see the sun starting to rise and I jump up to make my bed in the perfect way the correctional officers want it. If it's not perfect, I get in trouble. More trouble than I've already gotten in. I’ll get embarassed, humiliated, degraded, exposed. I don’t need that. I make the bed once, and then twice, and fix it a third time. 

And then Tara waves around her doctorate again. She swears she needs more time with her “patient” and I'm dragged away after breakfast. I'm put in cuffs that dig into the bruises and cuts around my wrists and cuffs that make me bleed and cuffs that I still feel on my skin even after they been taken off.

I cant see the images anymore. I can't do it. I can't continue to be haunted by what happened in Mexico and I can't keep seeing Nadie's face in my head, whether I'm sleeping or not. I don't want to do another cognitive and see, yet again, that I'm a killer. I don't need it to be confirmed to me time and time again that I'm a murderer and that I deserve to be in prison until the day I die.

"I cannot keep doing this anymore, okay? I told you, it was better if you all just stayed away. You're making it worse." It's a beg. It's a plead for Tara to leave and not come back.

But Tara insists. She insists that my mind is just playing tricks on me. She wonders why I don't realize that. She wants to know why I'm not thinking things out. The cognitive yesterday gave her an answer she would rather not have. She confirmed yesterday that I'm a murderer and now she's back to see if she can force my brain to play a trick.

"Spencer Reid is incapable of killing an innocent woman in cold blood."

I lean close to Tara, but not too close. I'm not telling a secret. It doesn't need to be whispered. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Look," Tara sighs, "prison is a difficult place. You've probably had to do things in here to survive that you would never think of doing in the outside world, things that make you feel guilty. But the brain has to handle that guilt, has to process it. And sometimes it spreads that guilt around into places it doesn't belong."

Guilt always seems to follow me wherever I go like a black cloud floating over my head. No matter where I go, the guilt is there. The guilt of killing an innocent woman, the guilt of abandoning my mother with basically a stranger, the guilt of leaving my girlfriend behind, the guilt of poisoning other prisoners. It's all there, all the time.

I stare down at my hands, raw and bruised and calloused and rough. "I could see the knife in my hand."

"We know that Scratch uses drugs to change our perception of what's real and what's not," Tara tells me. "He could dose you and tell you that you, I don't know, your favorite color is black and you'd believe it wholeheartedly. He could dose you and make you believe anything he wants and you’d never remember. That's what he does. That's what his drugs do."

She convinces me. I don't know how she managed to do it so easily, but she did. She convinces me to go through with the cognitive and in no time, my eyes are shut and I land back in that dingy, dark motel room with Nadie beside me.

I tell her what seems obvious to me. Someone bursts in the room, I move the knife to get closer to a stabbed Nadie and that's how I cut my hand, there's a mist over my shoulder, I turn to look at who it is but I can't see who it is.

"Do you recognize him?"

"No," I shake my head, scrunching up my face in frustration. He's blurry, but he's spraying me and it's getting more blurry.

"Focus, Spencer. Concentrate on who it is."

I clench my hand, pain shooting up my arms when the cuffs dig into my skin. I squeeze my eyes tighter and focus in on the image, and it actually gets clearer. I can see better. "It's Scratch," I whisper. "It's Scratch. It's Scratch. It's him. And he's drugging me. And I hear him say something."

I can see Scratch's distorted hand swirling around as she sprays me in the face, dousing me with her disgusting drugs. "What does he say?" Tara prompts.

It's time. It's time to go.

I see her holding out a pair of car keys to me, nails painted perfectly black, as she speaks in a sickly sweet voice. My eyes pop open. "Time to go," I repeat, "she says, time to go and then she just walks right out of there like she didn't have a care in the world, like she wanted me to chase her!"

It wasn't Scratch. It was a woman and I'll be here forever. If it was just some woman, there's no way to get me out of here. I'll die in this prison.

"It wasn't Scratch who framed me. It was a woman."

///

AMELIA

///

I'm not sure why I keep going back to the BAU. Nothing good ever seems to happen there, not since Spencer got arrested. The only happy memory I have is getting the smuggled letter from Spencer, but that isn't enough to cancel out the tears and the panic attacks and the pain that I've gone through on the sixth floor of this building.

So I'm not sure why I gravitate back here. It's probably because of Penelope. It's probably because I like to stare at the knick-knacks on her desk or stare at my own artwork on her walls and wonder if I could produce anything even close to that. Penelope herself is a reason to spend almost every day in a federal building filled with guns and pictures of dead bodies. She's one of the few reasons I'm afloat right now. After I throw an appreciation party for Jenna, I'll need to throw one for Penelope.

When I step out of the elevator, the first person I see is Emily. She's hurrying past the elevator, but when she sees me, she halts. And with the smile she gives me, I know something is wrong. For a moment, I debate not even getting out of the elevator so I don't have to face whatever new bad news I'm about to hear, but I know that I'll have to hear it eventually.

I step out, staring down at my tennis shoe-clad feet. "What now? Spencer's trial already got pushed back."

Emily clutches the case files in her hand and waves me along. "Come on, I'll update you."

The walk through the bullpen seems to take a million times longer than it usually does. But Emily finally leads me to the round table room and the first thing I notice is the face of a brunette on the screen. Penelope smiles when I enter, giving me the weakest wave I've ever seen from her.

"Who's that?" I ask, gesturing to the screen.

"That's Lindsay Vaughn." Emily explains, sitting down at the table, gesturing for me to do the same. It's the first time I've ever sat here and I almost feel unworthy. And I can tell I’m taking Spencer’s usual seat. That just feels wrong. I shift unconmfortably, wondering if it would be better for me to stand or move to a different seat. "A long time ago, Spencer had an interaction with Lindsay and her father on a case. Her father was a hitman so at the end of the case, the two of them were put into Witness Protection. Well, apparently, Lindsay left and she teamed up with Scratch."

"So this Lindsay girl is the one who drugged Spencer in Mexico and killed Nadie?" Emily nods. "So does that mean he's coming home?" It's too sweet of a thought. It's too easy. Of course he's not coming home. It's too easy.

"No," Emily shakes her head now, and my chest deflates. I should have expected that. "He identified her voice but there's no evidence. The team is out searching for that now."

"Her voice? How did he do that?" I glance frantically between the two women and watch as they look between each other.

"Okay," Emily leans close to me, and places her hand atop mine, "I have to tell you two really hard things right now. Just take a breath and I know it's hard to stay calm but you need to try," my teeth dig into my cheeks as I nod, but I don't promise. I don't make promises I know I'll break. I don't make promises unless they're to Spencer. "This girl, Lindsay, she killed Cassie and abducted Diana."

My eyes widen and I rip my hand away from Emily's grasp. "She took Diana?"

"She did," Emily reaches for my hand again, but I don't let her touch me. She sighs but continues talking. "She was stalking Reid for a while. She had pictures of him on a few cases, she even rented an apartment right next to his."

"Oh my god," I breathe out, leaning my elbows against the table and putting my head in my hands. "I can't believe it. He's in prison! What the fuck does Scratch and this bitch want with Diana?"

"We don't know," Penelope finally speaks up, "but we're doing everything we can to help Diana and to find her."

I stare down at the wood on the table and take a long breath through my nose, filling my lungs with stale air that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. "You said there were two things. What's the second thing?" I look up now, and I make the mistake of looking at Penelope first. Her eyes immediately fill with tears. It's about Spencer. Well, this is all about Spencer, but this news is Spencer.

Emily gulps and this time, she doesn't try to reach out for me again. "This morning, Reid stabbed himself in order to get thrown into solitary confinement."

I almost don't have a reaction to this at all. My eyebrows just raise in the tiniest bit because I don't believe it. Spencer stabbed himself? My Spencer? My Spencer who wouldn't even kill the spider in my bathtub. He had to catch it in his hands and release it onto the balcony. Someone who won't kill a spider wouldn't stab themself. Why did he stab himself? Why?

"You're not serious," that's the only feasible response I can think to come up with. "That's not--"

"It is, and it's a good thing, I promise." Emily tries to give me a smile but it only enrages me.

Penelope's eyes widen. "Emily, don't pro-"

"No!" I lose my cool, and as my voice raises, tears streaming down my cheeks. I jump out of my chair, knocking it over, but I don't even care. "Solitary confinement is not a good thing! Solitary confinement is where people go crazy and start seeing things! So don't tell me that Spencer stabbing himself is a fucking good thing because it's not! I'm tired of everyone promising me things that fall through! That's not what promises are for! Spencer could go crazy in solitary confinement and that's horrible!"

I turn on my heel and run for the door, pushing past JJ and Stephen, who don't even bother to try and stop me. Surely, they heard me yelling. But I hear heels behind me and I know Penelope has followed me and she's the only person I'd be willing to talk to right now.

She follows me all the way to her lair, and she even opens the door for me, allowing me to enter first. "She didn't know about the whole promising thing, Amelia, I'll tell the team," Penelope says quickly, pulling me into a tight hug when the door closes. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could help with more than just a hug, but this is all I can do."

"I wanna help him," I cry, squeezing her waist. "I don't want him there anymore and I wanna bring him home and hold him and--"

"And we're gonna get him out. We've been working with all the energy we have to get him out and find every scrap of evidence there is to exonerate him. I know you don't agree with Emily, but Reid is safe in solitary. He won't be around the other inmates. He won't be around the people who beat him up, and that's a good thing."

"That might be the only good thing about that. And poor Diana. She must be so scared, and so confused, and so lost. I don't know how she's functioning right now."

"We're gonna find her," Penelope pulls away, rubbing up and down my arms. "We're gonna find Diana, exonerate Spencer, and put Lindsay and Scratch in prison."

I smile through my tears, wiping my cheeks. "I think I'm gonna call Jenna and go home. I don't wanna interrupt you guys but the last thing I want is to be alone."

"That's a good idea. I'll keep you updated if anything happens." Penelope starts to lead me towards the door, holding it open for me.

"Don't." I shake my head, walking to the elevators. "I don't want updates. I just-- just do your jobs. That's all I need. I'll see you soon, Penny. I love you."

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21​ @feralreid​ @anepiphany​ @reidscardigan​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ @stxrrywildflower​ @penemily​ @whollytaciturn​ @thegingerfairchild​ @yasminwashere​ @shrimpyblog​ @anamelessfacelessnerd​ @wonderlandhatter​ @whxt-to-write​ @inkandexchange​ @just-call-me-non​ 

[the-greatest-story-untold]

I’m rambling abt NCT. Bear with me.

So, NCT 2020 Resonance Global Wave Beyond Live concert (sheesh, that’s long!) ended about 3 hours ago.

I finally got to sit and think through what I had experienced.

I’ve read through twitter, IG and of course, Tumblr.

I know quite a lot of fans are upset that SM went through with the concert when both Taeyong and Jisung are both unable to participate. And when Jisung was actually able to somewhat participate but Taeyong wasn’t, it ruffled some more feathers.

It is of course, very worrying that Taeyong may be injured/unwell enough to be completely uninvolved in the concert. I would have thought they would try to put in at least a clip of him wishing well to his team.

Then it occured to me that either way, fans won’t be happy. There will still be some that’ll bark that SM is not letting him rest or whatever.

In the end, yes, it would have been better if they could have postponed the concert till next year or whenever. But seriously, there is no promise that no one out of the 23 members will always be completely ok.

They’re a ridiculously large group with multiple members playing dual/multiple roles half the time. One of those members are bound to get tired or injured. I don’t want it to happen but hey, life is horrible and things happen.

(If you can’t already tell, I’m very much a pessimist. I don’t really look at the bright side of things. So excuse my morbid acceptance that people will get sick/ill/injured.) 

I mean, at the rate that SM is pushing some of these members, it is not very subtle that the distribution of responsibilities are not even. We definitely see some faces more than others.

if you want to argue that Taeyong is the leader of the group, the backbone, the pillar, the very essence of NCT... I won’t stop you. I feel that way too. But seriously, the leader missing out on one online concert won’t render the team useless.

Taeyong is a great leader. I acknowledge it. And one major thing he has done well as a leader is to ensure the team carries on without their leader. 

Watching the concert, I see how the different members who are often labelled the ‘mum’, ‘dad’, or ‘big brother’ of the team step up and lead the group. 

Taeyong is NCT’s leader but I will argue he is not NCT’s only leader. We have Taeil and Johnny, both of whom stepped up to look over the members (regardless if it was a forced situation or not). We have Kun, himself the leader of WayV. We have Doyoung (and let’s throw in Jeno), who were in a way the co-captains of their units. We have Mark, lovely Mark, who was the unofficial Dream Leader but made official through Dreamies’ and NCTzens’ sheer will. Even Renjun and Haechan stepped up during the ‘Surprise Live’ to lead the youngsters.

So yeah, it was sad that Taeyong wasn’t in the concert. My heart ached when I didn’t see him performing his parts. But at the same time, I HAVE to admit, I felt so proud that his teammates were able to fill his parts so well. 

And before anyone accuse me of saying Taeyong is replaceable, I must enforce that I DON’T. Taeyong is Taeyong, he brings his own charms and charisma to every song he performs. And that was made very obvious in the concert when it felt so blatantly ‘in-your-face’ that he was missing.

BUT. I will not diminish the effort put in by the other members who had to cover his parts. Kudos to them for taking the baton, it must have weighed heavy. I am sure that they are aware of the expectations EVERYONE has for Taeyong. So KUDOS to them for being able to carry that baton and YET, put in their own flair to it.

Apparently, Jeno was required to learn the first bit of ‘Make a Wish’ within an hour in the waiting room. Why? For the love of all things good, we know SM will never explain. But the fact that he did, and he did it WELL (he slayed it of course), KUDOS to him.

Sungchan covered Taeyong’s part in ‘BOSS’. It wasn’t Taeyong’s flair but Sungchan pulled it off with his own style, and just as fine.

Shotaro covered Taeyong’s part in ‘7th Sense’. You can clearly see he was a professional performer even before being part of NCT. He definitely threw in his own flair into that performance.

Yangyang covered Taeyong’s part in ‘Lightbulb’, and boy, he delivered. I watched that performance and I realised how much talent that young man has. It is disappointing he was not given a lot of parts (regardless if it was as WayV or NCT).

Jaehyun covered Taeyong’s part in ‘Kick It’, and of course he did great. We’ve already seen him cover for TY before. Yuta in turn covered Taeyong’s dance break in ‘Kick It’. Similarly, he shined.

Ten carried ‘Baby Don’t Stop’ all by himself! It must have been exhausting, he was performing consecutively from one song to another! He’s another one we must applaud for! 

Overall, I feel very grateful towards NCT for being able to put up this concert. Performing in front of a live crowd would have been better but personally, I felt this online stage allowed them to perform/act a little more freely. It felt like a home stage that you put on only for those special to you... a little bit more personal compared to a real-live concert but definitely just as high quality.

I enjoyed the concert, I smiled so much through it. I am going to miss OT23, even more than I missed OT18. When NCT was just 18, I was just getting to know them. Now, they’re a full fledged 23 and counting.

Sungchan and Shotaro fit so well in the group, I forget that they were recent additions. WayV was so very much embraced by the OG NCT members that I forget the unit is only 1 year old (going to 2 soon!)

I love how NCT feels like a family. I am sure every fandom feels the same way about their own artists, but I’ve always felt NCT was different and special because their brand makes them a family of different units. I’ve grown up in a large extended family, and I feel that NCT is just like that. They are friends and yet family, colleagues and yet brothers. 

I saw many wishes from NCTzens for the boys. I saw fans putting up placards saying NCT saved 2020. I’ve read many comments thanking NCT for uplifting them and making them feel present and here. I feel so proud that the boys are able to do that.

I may be just one more fan for NCT and I am sure they’re thankful either way. But I really want them to know how thankful I am for them too. They’ve had an extremely busy year, so I hope they get to rest. Not just some rest, but a full complete holistic break that lets their battery recharge.

I know their schedules are probably already packed and overflowing, but I want them to know that if any one of them needs a break from the hectic schedule, they should take that break AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT.

Self-care is essential: 

“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” - Eleanor Brownn

I love this quote and I wish to extend this advice to all 23 members of NCT too. 

I am still looking forward to the projects NCT will put out of course. I’m excited to see the unit (new ones?) Sungchan and Shotaro will be in. I’m excited to see Mark back with Dream (*cough cough* rooftop fight?). I definitely want to know what more WayV has in store. 

I hope they have a great year ahead but still think of themselves too once in a while.

Don’t worry boys, NCTzens will always be with you. We are the grass field that awaits you at the end of a ‘long ass ride’. Through the seasons, to infinity and beyond. We love you!

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 34 arrives and it’s a MUCH NEEDED breath of first air. I mean, this episode could have actually BEEN a 99 Adventure episode. I guess at least one person on the production team has actually seen the old show at least once!

In my opinion, it doesn’t quite equal the cuteness, silliness, and personality of similar 99 episodes, but it comes very close, and it’s certainly the best we’ve had in a long long while.

And it’s all because of these two.

More below!

The episode bizarrely begins with Tailmon barking to communicate with Komondomon. Which raises the question, if no one could talk with Komondomon before because he can only bark, how were they communicating? Did Lopmon just tell Komondomon everything he needed to know and tell the kids “just follow his lead” or something??

Also Tailmon’s opening line being her barking is pretty surreal. And yet, fitting for a cat Digimon who is a dog at Child level.

The kids are shown taking a break - the first sign that this episode is gonna be A Bit Different.

Taichi: Something feels weird. Why aren’t we fighting?

Sora: Taichi, don’t you think you should rest once in a while?

Taichi: I mean, I do, I just got the impression the rest of the world didn’t agree...

Sora: By the way, why do we like this world that constantly tries to kill us and never gives us any pleasant memories so much? Why don’t we just take our partners to the human world and leave this place to its fate?

Taichi: How else am I gonna get an outlet for my pent up aggression and adrenaline junkie issues?

Sora: That’s your backstory?

Taichi: I’m a complicated man.

Komondomon then randomly jumps... into the sea. “Oh no, they’ll drown!” No, they won’t, because Komondomon has the ability to build a dome over his back trapping oxygen inside. Submarimon I get, but Komondomon?

As they dive, Tailmon explains what we learned last week about Millenniumon trying to resurrect himself with a new body. Apparently a very large fragment of him is located undersea in a place called Farga (transliteration TBA). She thinks resentfully about how she was almost absorbed into Millenniumon’s most recent resurrection effort.

Hikari tackles her with a comforting hug, which Tailmon seems a bit discomfited by. But does not object.

Tailmon considers defeating Millenniumon for good to be her personal mission as a Holy Digimon. Patamon sees her determination and does his best to put on his game face too. It’s like being glared at by a sock puppet.

Tailmon: I can’t allow Hikari to be put in danger. It’s my job as the Holy Digimon -

Tailmon: - gosh darnit and she’s just so cute too!

They wind up getting hit by a rip current or something?? and thrown into another weird submarine sort of thing. They discourteously break a hole in it and wind up inside a self-sustaining underwater kingdom, apparently, which instantly goes on Red Alert as Manbomon come to attack them.

This is Daipenmon, or Big Penguin Monster. I love him. He is glorious. Gaze upon his expression of perpetually stoned haze.

Daipenmon: You try steering this thing every day in and out nonstop without turning to hard drugs.

She attac!

While fighting, some Mantaraymon break in through the hole they made and the Manbomon go to drive them off as apparently they are not welcome. Then MarineAngemon appears in all her creepy glory and they sort everything out.

MarineAngemon: Oh, Tailmon, I see you’re a Holy Digimon! I can tell by your Holy Ring. I have one too.

Takeru: Patamon, why don’t you have a Holy Ring?

Patamon: .... -.-’

Look! See! So cute! They are floating on bubbles! All the kids get their own and each has an individual design that shows their personality. Here Tailmon tries desperately to keep Hikari from falling off. I missed this kind of thing! Flashbacks to Monzaemon’s Toytown...

Turns out MarineAngemon is extremely small and the scene before was all “don’t pay attention to that man behind the curtain” type scare tactics. Not very effective since no matter how big MarineAngemon gets, she’s still extremely adorable. She invites them to stay the night. I really expected it to be a trap, but it wasn’t.

OH MY GOD IS THAT FOOD ARE THEY EATING ACTUAL FOOD OMG OMG

quick someone alert the producers! Someone’s having FUN with this show! I was starting to think that was illegal or something!

It’s not AS fun as when they went to Devimon’s illusory castle in 99 Adventure and stuffed their faces after starving and living on potentially poisonous eggs for a week... but I’ll take it.

Meanwhile an undersea band plays music and Taichi ACTS LIKE THE FIFTH GRADE CHILD THAT HE IS. For about 0.5 seconds but HEY he did something child-like! holy cheez wiz batman!

Hikari is mysteriously absent so Tailmon goes to find her. Turns out she’s asked MarineAngemon to heal Komondomon who is tired and wounded from their journey. Tailmon’s like, “Aw, what a nice person she is.” I’m all for exceptionally kind-hearted Hikari, but taking care of Komondomon should have been priority 1 for EVERYONE. At least Sora should have thought of it. I can see Taichi being too forward-focused, and Takeru a dumb eight year old, but Sora would definitely have thought about Komondomon.

Clearly the show wanted to establish how nice Hikari is, but I hate when shows inadvertently make all the other characters look like asses just to trump up the current star...

Taichi’s digivice glows and...

... MINI KOUSHIROU RETURNS!!! Hurray!

Um, what’s that Sora’s drinking? A mimosa? o.O

Well anyway, Koushirou just shows up to remind everyone of the situation with the satellites and that things are getting worse.

Taichi: Do you have any idea what we can do about it?

Koushirou: No, but I’ll keep you posted.

Taichi: Thanks for nothing braindead

Koushirou: That’s it! You’re not the man I knew in episode 3 anymore! I want a divorce!

Taichi: Fine with me it’s not like you’re ever home anyway!

Koushirou: Well at least I’m not cheating with YAMATO!

Taichi: I HAVE NEEDS!

*cough*

Uh, I know Taichi is shorter than Sora, but he looks... pretty tiny here... lol. Or maybe Sora’s just had a growth spurt again.

They spend the night sleeping in bubbles. Aw.

By the way, question: the kids seem able to walk and breath normally in MarineAngemon’s kingdom... but the fish-type Digimon can also swim around normally. And it seems the kids wouldn’t be able to survive in the ocean itself, but they and the fish can both survive here? And yet bubbles? What... what kind of scientific anomaly is this place??

So... MarineAngemon’s kingdom appears to be a Whamon’s corpse! X’D Wow that’s dark.

They are attacked by Anomalocarimon! For reasons. Actually, they did explain earlier that the ocean Digimon have been more aggressive lately and it seems to be the influence of Millenniumon’s stone in Farga or whatever.

Daipenmon: This sucks I don’t have health insurance

Tailmon frantically tries to fight off the intruders while also keeping Hikari out of danger. This entire episode is about Tailmon wanting to protect Hikari and keep her at arm’s length so she doesn’t end up in danger, while Hikari just keeps trying to stay close to Tailmon and support her.

Tailmon: I can’t take you with me, Hikari. It’s too dangerous.

Hikari: Fine. Big brother, will you bring me into the heat of the action with you?

Taichi: Sure thing.

Tailmon: ...

In his defense, Taichi does seem a bit freaked when Hikari TAKES A FLYING LEAP off MetalGreymon toward Tailmon.

(no I really love that Taichi immediately understands why Hikari wants to fight and takes her right to her partner without even a token “nuu but you’re still a baby.” I mean, if Yamato’s cool with Takeru being in danger all the time, Taichi shouldn’t be much worried about it...

Hikari has a flashback! Turns out she’s heard Tailmon calling for her since she as a little kid!

She caught one of Angewomon’s feathers back then too.

Hikari promises Tailmon that she’ll be by her side. Awww.

Hands again.

Crest of Light! I kind of expect that we’ll find out about the Crests and what they mean really fast at the end of the season... although I’m still kind of hoping Mimi is mining Crest crystals atm.

Hikari is able to magically produce a Digivice... I’d completely forgot she didn’t have one till now.

Here I expected Tailmon would evolve, but instead, the power of Light appears to give everyone a power boost like it’s done in the past. They all glow with their Crest colors, kids and partners alike (except for some reason Tailmon glows yellow???) and launch a joint attack on Anomalocarimon and defeat him. Yay.

Then they say goodbye to MarineAngemon and go on their way, I guess to Farga.

So... yeah! it was a nice episode. It had a theme. There was fighting, but it didn’t overwhelm everything else. There was character development. I really can’t complain about it. And it was SHOCKING that Taichi had so few lines (compared to what’s become the norm - a GOOD shock but still I was like “omg what’s going on!!”)

I am just confused because why is this sort of episode happening when we haven’t seen it in ages? What happened in that interim between when they all met up after the first team split up and just now that prevented the show writers from having fun with the show and just writing nonstop fighting all the time? I’m so confused. It makes no sense. Still suspecting that they couldn’t get anyone to come in and voice characters for long enough so they just focused on Sanpei Yuuko/Taichi, but without the others they couldn’t figure out how to push the show forward and make it fun too... Idk. It’s so weird. But oh well. We got a good episode, and maybe it’s a sign of changes to come. I hope so.

Next week...

We get attacked by a scary looking Digimon and Hikari... Idk, thinks she can block the attack somehow? haha. Aw but look how awesome she is protecting her brother and Greymon!

Hikari gets touched by the dark powers! Oh noes!

And more cuteness.

The episode title name-drops Angewomon, which surprises me because I figured they’d hold off on her and give Tailmon Nefertimon for an evolution first. But *shrug* whatever! Looking forward to it.

[satan-chillin]

Hereafter (4/7)

Wei Wuxian is sent off of Cloud Recesses, bade by his fathers to “have fun and make friends” which, now that he thinks about it, sounds like a gross oversimplification of what the next six months away from home will entail.

If he happens to form unlikely connections, start a matchmaking, and gets unwittingly involved in the presently strained political state of the cultivation world, those are just par for the course.

Chasing after one of the famed Twin Jades of Lan, however, is an added bonus.

(Or, WWX was sent to Gusu by his fathers Wen Kexing & Zhou Zishu)

Part 2 of Spirited Away Series. Part 1 here.

Also available in Ao3. Hereafter Chapter 1, 2, 3

❆❆❆

Wei Wuxian stumbled, sputtered, and shivered—exactly in that order.

“Lan Zhan, are you alright?!”

The question was apparently unnecessary seeing as Lan Zhan was already standing, unfazed as if they hadn’t been dragged into some—Wei Wuxian’s eyes darted wildly everywhere to take a stock of the white rocky walls—cave underneath a cold spring.

He hauled himself steadily on his feet amidst his heavily drenched clothes weighing him down to the fortunately shallow (but fucking cold brrrr) water. Resolutely, he cleared his throat to hide a cough and another shiver, straightening his appearance as much as he could, sweeping back his wet hair on his now thankfully numb back.

“We’re in a cave,” said Wei Wuxian uselessly. “Ah, do you happen to know the exit?”

Lan Zhan’s mouth remained that firm line before trudging ahead in dismissal. Wei Wuxian followed after him and found that continuous movement helped fend off the chill. After composing himself in silence, he managed to abate the chattering of his teeth and regulated a bit of his internal body heat, a trick he learned young and grew up using in particularly frigid winter nights.

Wei Wuxian paused. Frowning, he reached for his sleeves and found the item he was searching for missing. He had been holding that pouch before falling, hadn’t he?

Oh no.

“Crap.” His voice was loud enough to ring within the cave, halting even Lan Zhan though not exactly turning to look back at his companion to ask. “Wait. Let me go back a bit—the pouch—your ribbon!”

The statement warranted Lan Zhan’s attention this time. Wei Wuxian felt rather sheepish under the stare. Stupid. He was supposed to return it as an apology and then they would go on their merry way and forget Wei Wuxian’s moment of weakness (and stupidity). Resigned and chastised the longer the pointed stare lengthen, he said, “Look, I’m really sorry about what happened. I don’t know if you believe me, but I honestly didn’t know no one’s allowed to touch it.”

Lan Zhan did not blink, and it would have been eerie if he wasn’t doing a great job imitating a magnificent statue carved in jade. The shade of color that stood out the most from him was the gold of his eyes amidst the reflection of what little light there was within the cave walls, like a relic hidden and untouched by time.

Wei Wuxian swallowed down the poetics threatening to spill from his tongue. Not the time.

Wordlessly, Lan Zhan unclenched a closed fist to reveal the familiar pouch and pulled out the ribbon within, blessedly dry, and without breaking eye contact tied it around his forehead before turning his back once more and proceeding ahead.

Wei Wuxian could only blink after him.

… Was that a smile?

His mind must be playing tricks on him, or it could be the cold, come to think of it. It wasn’t hard for him to come to the conclusion that he was indeed still dazed, probably from the rough tumble earlier into this cave and the low temperature, or both, when the next thing he was seeing was rabbits.

Fluffy white bunnies with tiny Lan forehead ribbons. Wei Wuxian wanted to laugh at the absurdity this day was turning.

To be fair, though, those were really cute bunnies with beady eyes that noticed their visitors and sniffed at the ground. Wei Wuxian resisted the urge to gather a bunch of them to cuddle for warmth.

“Lan Zhan,” he called, barely taking his eyes off the little animals that littered the narrow outcropping to the side. “Are you seeing what I’m—”

Wei Wuxian collided with what felt like an invisible force that slammed him back to the water. Indignantly, he rose, hacking out water. “Oh, come on!”

While Lan Zhan didn’t appear to be worried, he was equally confused between the white guqin that was simply sitting there, unassuming, and Wei Wuxian waddling through the water.

He had seen it the second time, a strike that came from a single, resounding note that went from behind Lan Zhan and straight to Wei Wuxian as if it knew he was an offender—and damn if he didn’t terribly regret not having Suibian or at least his fan to counter that. His reflex kicked in, diving narrowly to the shallow surface and twisting.

The next one followed immediately as he was about to pivot his heel and maneuver toward the dry ground. This one, however, did not reach him in time, Lan Zhan’s blade effectively blocking the assault.

Wei Wuxian figured that it was a protective measure of some sort, and whatever this cave was, it was clearly guarding something. Interestingly, it didn’t care enough to throw Lan Zhan out despite the fact that the two of them were technically intruders, recognizing that he wasn’t an outsider like Wei Wuxian was.

Sharply, he glanced back at the harmless rabbits that were seemingly imitating Lan disciples with their snowy fur and little forehead ribbons that, now that Wei Wuxian realized, could only be seen among the inner disciples of the Lan Sect. He was yet to get an explanation why that silk ribbon was too much of a big deal to be considered sacred, although...

Hold on.

“Lan Zhan! You’ll probably hate me for this, and I swear I’m sorry in advance, but unless you want me to die, you’re going to have to let me touch that ribbon again!”

For a split second, Wei Wuxian had an ugly feeling that Lan Zhan actually wanted to be rid of him permanently, and, oh, his cold-hearted muse, a beguiling, unsmiling—

Lan Zhan was on his side in the next beat, the silk ribbon coiled around his and Wei Wuxian’s forearm. The cloth was pulled taut between them, a mere couple of inches that Wei Wuxian was certain he could close with a strong tug.

He raised an eyebrow, lips pursing into a quirk at the edges. “Thank you.”

In lieu of ignoring Wei Wuxian’s eyes and slight grin, Lan Zhan stared at the guqin and led the way back to where he had been. Still a little mesmerized, Wei Wuxian was going to pretend that Lan Zhan’s pace wasn’t slow for his sake.

“I wonder what kind of treasure this is,” he said, humming appreciatively at the craftsmanship of the instrument in ivory and the delicate engraving of patterns, “that it’s not letting strangers near it.”

“Don’t touch it,” Lan Zhan warned needlessly as if Wei Wuxian would dare lay his wet hand on a fine creation. “This instrument is hard to obtain and has magical value. It knows how to target people with a different family name using Chord Assassination.”

Well, damn, that was the longest he’d heard from Lan Zhan. Also, Chord Assassination? Wasn’t that the one Lan Qiren mentioned in one of his lectures an ultimate move passed down from generation to generation in the Lan Sect?

“One of Lan Sect’s heirlooms then?” Though he wondered why hide this exquisite instrument when it could be displayed; why the magical protection for this thing alone? “Hm. Can we investigate?”

“Don’t touch it,” came the same warning. “You’ll be disrespecting my ancestor’s possession.”

“Fine. How are we supposed to investigate it without touching it?”

Lan Zhan moved around and to the other side of the guqin, sitting. Wei Wuxian decided to situate himself next to the instrument, watching raptly at the long fingers that tuned the strings, a pale hue of qi danced across the surface where he touched.

Wei Wuxian was aware that Lan Sect’s expertise lay in musical cultivation, and he had to admit that there was something enrapturing to observe a Lan performing it even if what Lan Zhan was doing was one of the basic aspects of it.

He did not recall closing his eyes, though when he next opened them, Lan Zhan was pointedly looking at the spot where Wei Wuxian sat. Consciously, he stood, patting nonexistent dirt away from the instrument.

Then the notes came, a response to Lan Zhan’s playing. A flash of what must be a surprise lit Lan Zhan’s features.

“It’s her.”

“Who?”

From the walls, there echoed a sudden noise of a hundred thundering steps, of multiple voices clamoring at once. They were both on high alert in an instant upon hearing the recitation of the names of the five major clans. Lan Zhan withdrew his sword, and Wei Wuxian, subconsciously, positioned himself a step in front of him.

There were loud chants of killing a holy mountain and destroying the Stygian metal, of demands for a Xue Chonghai to give up the said Stygian metal. The yells alone were enough to determine that the five major clans were to attack a clan of this Xue Chonghai.

“What is Stygian metal?”

“I’ve never heard of it,” Lan Zhan admitted.

The noise settled into a deafening silence before a clear and gentle feminine voice said: “Stygian metal is cursed. It’s best not to talk about it.”

At the place Lan Zhan previously occupied, a woman in blue of the shade of skies sat down, her face serene and timeless, not a hair out of place as she regarded them.

Lan Zhan went to his knees, bowing deeply, the gesture pulling Wei Wuxian down with him. “Gusu Lan Sect disciple, Lan Zhan, greets Elder Lan Yi.”

Wei Wuxian paid the same respects, almost floundering doing so. “Four Seasons Sect disciple, Wei Ying, greets Elder Lan Yi.”

At him, Lan Yi said, “You came a long way.”

Wei Wuxian was tempted to ask how in the world did she know and if that meant his fathers’ sect could be traced as far back as the ones in the cultivation world. He held his tongue, observing her quite taken with a rabbit that had wandered over to her. She stroked its fur fondly, and for a moment Wei Wuxian could believe that she wasn’t an elder of centuries old.

“Elder, do you raise those rabbits?” he asked.

“Yes. To keep me company,” she answered. “My magic has waned over the years,” she said evenly. “They love to play so they frequently run outside.”

“Elder, they said you passed away years ago,” said Lan Zhan. “Why...”

“Is it related to the Stygian metal?” Wei Wuxian could gather as much from what they’d heard.

A flicker crossed her face, akin to a disturbed surface of perfectly tranquil water. “It is the biggest mistake of my life. Because of it, I’ve used all of my spiritual energy as the price for suppressing the Stygian iron.”

On her palm, she produced an old piece of chipped metal, tarnished but not rusted. This must be the Stygian metal, and Wei Wuxian’s mind raced with questions upon questions and settling for two.

“What’s up with this metal? And the yelling earlier, where do they come from?”

“Since it has been unsealed, my psyche, along with my magical powers, weakens day by day,” she said. “And then you two came. It must be fate.”

Lan Yi spoke of a few hundred years back, when the Stygian metal hadn’t been broken into pieces, and what was presently named Yiling Burial Mounds was then called a holy mountain. She mentioned Xue Chonghai who had been the most powerful advisor to the emperor, and how the facts had been muddled by time as to why he had wielded the Stygian metal to absorb resentment and used human beings as sacrifices. With the Stygian metal, he had controlled a notorious beast known as the Tortoise of Slaughter. Formidable, Xue Chonghai slaughtered cultivators of various sects, both big and small.

“The five major sects,” Wei Wuxian began. “They banded together to bring him down.”

“Indeed. It cost a lot of lives, and the Yiling holy mountain became the Burial Mounds for the fallen.”

“Elder, where was the Stygian metal after that?” Lan Zhan asked.

“It absorbed numerous living beings’ spiritual awareness, and all the resentment couldn’t be contained.”

“The metal was capable of spirit consumption?” Wei Wuxian asked in disbelief.

He’d read of theories and the subjects that encompassed spiritualism, and he would wager that not all the scholars who scribed and penned those in old books and dusty scrolls had seen half of what they’d written in practice, one of those about how a spirit could transform into its own awareness that was capable of destroying either itself or another, or capable to growing itself by multitudes through absorption or consumption.

“The Stygian metal was originally a national treasure that could absorb nature’s natural aura,” Lan Yi said. “Xue Chonghai used that ability to absorb living beings’ awareness and cultivators’ spirit essence, and because of this the resentment completely polluted the metal and can never be cleansed. The closest to suppression the five greatest clans managed was to divide the metal into pieces, stored in four locations where the spiritual vein is in abundance in four cardinal locations. To prevent the same mistake of Xue Chonghai, it was agreed not to pass the knowledge of Stygian iron to any of the future descendants.”

“Forgive me for speaking directly, Elder, but using the logic of absorption, why not absorb instead the opposite of resentment, an amount that can overwhelm the resentment within? And the iron must have its limits too for it’s not a pocket of unlimited space to contain everything there is. Why not stuff it full of resentment until it cannot contain all in itself? It doesn’t have to be the living; the dead or beasts, like the Nie Sect’s way of cultivation. Or—or what if we utilize the resentment within the metal? It won’t be like Xue Chonghai if we—”

“Wei Ying!” exclaimed Lan Zhan. In truth, his volume hardly rose a level, but it was as much of a sound of incredulity at what Wei Wuxian was saying.

She shook her head. “What Young Master Wei said was exactly what I had in mind then. The folly of youth is arrogance and the inexplicable need to prove oneself.” She turned wistful. “As the first female sect leader who wants prestige for her sect and to prove them wrong, I carried those follies through the years and pursued the Stygian iron. It was futile, in the end.” Lan Yi smiled ruefully. “Baoshan Sanren was right.”

Wei Wuxian jolted. “B-Baoshan Sanren?”

“She was a good friend, and she tried to stop me. I’m a fool for not listening.” Her eyes were distant, regretful. “I thought I could enlighten it on my own but merely ended up unsealing the iron. Once unsealed, it couldn’t be reversed. Now here I am in Han Tan Cave, unable to leave after I used my psyche instead. I might not have passed away all those years ago, but I’ve been fading away since then.”

A slow death and dying alone. Wei Wuxian couldn’t think of anything worse.

“What happened to my grandmaster?” he asked quietly.

“Grandmaster?”

Wei Wuxian nodded. “My mother, Cangse Sanren, was a disciple of Baoshan Sanren. She lived with her master and came down from her mountain. She met my biological father afterward and had me.”

“I didn’t know.” Lan Yi stared at him in wonder. “Who would have thought that Baoshan Sanren would take a disciple? We were both young back then, and last I heard of her she went to seclusion. I was… ashamed to seek her.”

“Elder, I have a question,” Lan Zhan spoke. “Are you the one who brought us here?”

“No, not with my weakening state, but I suspect that it’s the Stygian metal. It has been restless since the past decade when the other pieces resurfaced.”

Wei Wuxian shared a look with Lan Zhan. Someone was aiming to be another Xue Chonghai, and it didn’t bode well for their generation and the next.

“The pieces must be gathered together to seal the iron once more.” Her lips pursed. “Only then will the resentment quieten, and hopefully will be laid to rest here forever, frozen in this cave.”

Lan Zhan clasped his hands in front of him, kneeling. “As a descendant of Gusu Lan Sect, Lan Zhan vows to fulfill this obligation to Elder Lan Yi.”

Wei Wuxian imitated the gesture, much to Lan Zhan’s surprise. “Wei Ying of the Four Seasons sect vows to accomplish this with Lan Zhan.”

“This is a matter of the Gusu Lan alone,” Lan Zhan protested.

“I might be from a different sect, from somewhere far away from here, but it doesn’t mean I’ll stand by when there’s potential harm to many. I might have been raised in jianghu, but my fathers raised me to care for the lives of others,” he declared, glancing briefly at Elder Lan Yi and noticing her soft gaze at them. “Besides, Elder is right. Maybe it is fate that brought us here.”

Personally, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been a believer of fate for it only happened to him once: his baba finding him in that terrible snowstorm, way before Sect Leader Jiang or even death itself found him. He felt the tight grip of Lan Zhan’s silk ribbon against his forearm, connecting him to his owner.

Perhaps this, too, was fate.

❆❆❆

Lan Yi’s fading was inevitable, though for it to happen in front of his eyes brought a disquiet in Wei Wuxian’s stomach. What was left of her spiritual essence exploded into blue fireflies, enchanting and separating into several little lights that would never come together again to form a whole.

They stumbled past an egress that magically appeared on a wall, with Lan Zhan half-dragging him out like he was eager to set out as soon as possible to find the remaining pieces of the Stygian iron.

Heh. He probably was.

Completely forgetting being tied to Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian misjudged a step, foot tangling with Lan Zhan’s, throwing them both together on the rocky dry ground.

“Well,” began Wei Wuxian, grinning down coquettishly, after finding himself on top of an alarmed Lan Zhan. “This is a nice end to our escapade, Lan-er-gongzi.”

It would be forever etched in his mind, that adorable shade of scarlet.

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes". (#I’mHereToKillYouAllWithFeels)

Getting Eloise to leave her alone again had been quite the task, especially after she went catatonic upon being handed the letter.  She’d had to promise that there would be no further rash actions.

Her brain simply ceased to function because Colin Bridgerton writing her any letter felt beyond the realm of possibility.  She wasn’t the kind of girl that any guy wrote those kinds of things to much less someone as perfect as Colin.

That was precisely the way she thought of him. He had been so perfect.

She couldn’t recall the first moment he transitioned from Eloise’s brother to the object of her every waking desire but that was because she’d felt that was as long as she could remember.

Not once in all those years did she allow herself the indulgence of believing that he could ever feel the same. His cordiality was the most she thought to hope for.

The only place that more could existence was in her very vivid imagination.

It was disorienting to go from extreme sadness to near ecstasy and then back to sadness once the reality set back in.  Had she had any inkling he was still alive, she would have run away from home and used her Whistledown earnings to find him.

It was those thoughts that comforted her once she was tucked in her bed and left to her own devices.  It played out so easily imagining arriving in Greece, tracking him down at some beautiful seaside inn.

She could almost imagine him scandalously shirtless on some beach, body glistening with the water from the sea and his trousers damp from having just taking an unplanned swim.  She could picture his handsome, charming smile and his eyes widening in surprise at the sight of her.

She would have started to run to him and finally said the words that she’d wanted to say before he left. The words that she knew now could have prevented his trip to begin with.

His response in her imagination was enough to leave her aching. She could almost feel the warmth of his hand pulling his closer, his mouth scandalously close to her own.  She could hear the chuckle from his lips and some teasing remark.

Her imagination dared not let it go further though.

The dream was what made her turn in her sleep, cry when she woke up in the morning and the reality sunk back in.  Whatever he felt for her, losing him had made her see the depth of her own feelings all the more.  She truly had loved him.

“I promise I’ll give him up forever if you just let him come home,” she uttered to an invisible God, knowing as soon as it was from her lips that had it ever come to fruition, it would be beyond her abilities to do.  She would never give him up, never stop loving him. She loved him so much that she’d sacrifice her own happiness a million times over just to know he was alive and well.  “I promise I’ll do whatever you want. You can’t possibly be this cruel.”

--

After a particularly intense debate, it was Benedict who ended up winning the battle of who would be the one to sacrifice on behalf of the family this time. He and Anthony agreed that it was vital that they ensure that his brother’s last known wishes were addressed.

Gregory was far too young to be considered a vital prospect so it had been between the two of them. Anthony had to sacrifice enough for their family.  As much as Benedict desired a different kind of life and he wasn’t quite certain marriage was a part of it. The only way to be assured that Penelope was cared for was for her to marry one of them.

He admittedly didn’t know the girl as well as some of his siblings. Eloise had always been his favorite though and as such, he knew that his sister wouldn’t have chosen an unworthy best friend. He also knew that Colin wouldn’t have been quite so worked up over a no one.

He’d shared a few dances with Penelope during the year mostly at his mother’s urging as a mercy. When he looked at her, he thought of her as the little girl she’d once been instead of the woman. There wasn’t attraction there but he found her congenial and kind.

While his parents had shared a great love story, his mother had never been shy to tell her children that not marriages were born of love. Sometimes, they were born of necessity. There was always room for companionship and friendship to grow into love.

He was uneasy about the whole ordeal but he was a man of his word. Once it was settled, it was simply a matter of approaching the discussion with Portia Featherington. If he were honest, such a conversation was far more frightening than the prospect of a marriage that wasn’t born of some unrelenting love.

He was almost grateful when Eloise brought news that she’d shared the letter because it had bought him more time.  He had to let the dust settle before he could even think to approach such a thing.  He nearly lost his nerve as he crossed the way to the Featheringtons and requested an audience with Lady Featherington.

--

It wasn’t the right season for callers, especially for her daughters.  The assumption when the staff announced Benedict Bridgerton had come to speak with her was that this was a mourning visit.  She couldn’t logically think of any other reason for such a visit.

She’d had her staff bring him to the drawing room, standing once she saw him in the doorway.

There was a quiet exchange of bows, her eyes appraising before gesturing where he might sit. He had flowers in hand.  

“Can I offer you some tea, Mister Bridgerton?”  she asked.

“It won’t be necessary.”

“Well then, I must admit I’m most curious for the reason for you visit,” she said, eyeing the flowers with curiosity. “As you know, the season has been over for some time now and our home is in mourning. As it yours from what I hear.  We’ve all been so truly sorry to hear about Colin. It’s such a tragedy.”

Benedict wasn’t quite sure she was actually sorry about the loss of his brother. He remembered himself and presented the flowers though.  The whole conversation so far reminded him why he tended to avoid any interaction with the women.  He hoped Penelope wasn’t horribly attached to her mother because while he was perfectly fine accepting her as part of his life forever, he wasn’t quite willing to accept her mother.

“Well it’s quite indelicate but it is of the utmost importance that I seek your … permission,” he tried to explain, coughing into his hand to try and find words that felt unnatural. He’d always desired a different kind of life than this.  “Both of our families have experienced loss lately and it is my … wish to ease some of the pain both our families are feeling.  I would like to ask your daughter … Penelope to wed – clearly an extended engagement – respectful to our losses but a proposal none the less.”

If he could have grown a second head, Portia Featherington wouldn’t have looked at him any less bewildered and startled by this turn of events.

“It would be inappropriate to allow any wedding for the foreseeable future,” she started. She then began to try and manipulate the situation to better her situation.  The money wasn’t there to pay for a dowry. She’d honestly not been prepared to have to pay a dowry for Penelope since she assumed she’d end up as a spinster. “I wouldn’t dream to deny you a dowry –“

“It won’t be necessary,” he said, trying to keep polite.  The point was to assure Penelope got the happy ending Colin desired for her and frankly, he wasn’t sure someone else was going to come along and offer it. If that meant not receiving a dowry, so be it.  “I really must have your blessing in the matter though.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have Prudence? – Or Felicity in a few years even?”

“No.”

“Well then,” she said with a hand gesture.   “Help yourself to it then.”

The woman then proceeded to yell for her daughter so loud that it was any wonder that half the Ton didn’t hear her yelling.

Benedict hadn’t quite expected the whole thing to happen quite so… quickly.  If he must do this, he’d hoped to at least given it a bit of finesse.

Penelope did enter the room as requested though.

The two exchanged looks.

Penelope looked particularly meek and perhaps a little sad from where he was sitting. He’d never quite spent more than a passing second looking at her. There was no time like the present to begin though.  Penelope bowed slightly in greeting. Had it been outside the formality of her mother’s drawing room, she might have greeting him by name. Formality always seemed to slip away with Eloise’s siblings.

“Penelope, Mister Bridgerton and I just have the most peculiar conversation,” she said gesturing to the space next to herself so that her daughter would come sit down. The confusion on Penelope’s face became all the more clear.

“I wanted to seek your permission to court with the intention of marriage,” he said awkwardly. “I know that it’s off season and our families are in-”

Penelope was to her feet at once. Her face twisting in fury and confusion all at once.

“Are you drunk?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Penelope?!” her mother bellowed, clearly not charmed by the outburst before she lowered her voice and murmured under grit teeth. “That is not way to talk to your only prospect of marriage.”

“It’s quite okay,” Benedict offered, excusing away the behavior.  “I know that it’s sudden but I assure you that my proposal is sincere. It’ll be a strike upon my honor should you refuse.”

“I refuse,” she said sharply.

Benedict had never quite seen the normally meek girl quite so riled up.  The red of her hair seemed to spread across her skin.  He seemed to take that as a sign she was quite angry.

“I cannot accept that answer,” he told her, unsure whether to laugh or be afraid.

“And I cannot accept your proposal.  If this is about your brother, he would think you an idiot.”

Portia Featherington looked unsure whether to tell her daughter to stop being insolent or enjoy the front row seat to the drama.  While she preferred when the drama stayed away from her own family, she did very much love to see it.  Clearly her daughter had forgotten the fact she was even there.

“My brother wanted you to be happy and cared for,” the Bridgerton countered. “I simply wish to ensure that happens.”

Portia let out a soft ‘oh’ as if it suddenly made sense why a perfectly decent eligible bachelor would choose Penelope over one of her better daughters.  Though, she was also semi-impressed that Penelope had somehow convinced someone to look out for her.

“I can look after myself,” Penelope argued, rising to her feet. “I’ll never marry.”

Portia finally decided to interject.  “Not on my watch,” she told her daughter. “You best accept this proposal or you’ll end up on the streets. I won’t have you rejecting a Bridgerton.”

“This isn’t for negotiation,”  Penelope said looking murderous as she stormed her way out of the drawing room, slamming the door on her way out.

Benedict, despite being a bit shellshocked, could only laugh.

“Well, that went well.”

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 7 - "the bigger picture"

Season 7, episode 24 "Run" (at the end of the episode, at JJ's wedding)

I really had to do it. And by "it" I mean fantasizing about this specific moment that you're going to read. I hope it's not too cheesy or cliché for you - let the boys dance ffs!! (on a serious note I would've given a kidney to see them dance at JJ's wedding). Edit: this one too, as many others, I partially re-wrote

Side note: you know how I told you that since season 8 is about Reid and Maeve, it would probably give me no Moreid inspo? Yeah, I call bullshit. I found some light at the end of the tunnel: one (1) episode from season 8 gave me some Moreid Feels™. Maeve ain't gonna stop my feelings, I just can't help it

Read it on AO3

-------------

The whole team were enjoying themselves so much, finally being able to relax and even DANCE together. "Together" because they all had at least one dance with each other: Hotch had even danced with Penelope and Reid with JJ's mom. There was just this one thing that was keeping Reid on his toes since the beginning: he knew the slow, romantic song would have to come sooner or later.

Usually, at weddings, the song was kept as last. And every time the music changed, Reid thought that the moment was coming. But the moment for what? He didn't even know. What was he supposed to do? Sit it out, while looking at all the actual couples dance, the only ones that were allowed to dance during the song? But that would've been stupid: he wasn't single after all. Was he supposed to skip that one because it's more socially acceptable for Morgan to slow dance with his female friend Penelope than for him to slow dance with his actual boyfriend?

-

He was thinking about all of this while dancing with Penelope, as a matter of fact.

"Spencer? Are you even hearing me?"

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Penelope was talking to him. He shook his head to awaken himself.

"Uhm..." he cleared his voice. "Not really, to be honest."

She smiled. "You should dance the next one with Derek."

He smiled back, shyly. "Yeah I don't know about that. Plus, is this your polite way of telling me that you don't wanna keep dancing with me?" he asked jokingly, trying to drift away from the topic.

"Oh no, boy wonder, this is me sacrificing my desires for the bigger picture." she smirked, trusting that Reid knew what "bigger picture" she meant.

Then he suddenly realized what Garcia said. "the next one". Were they just one song away from THE song?

-

Derek was dancing with Emily. They were looking at each other without saying anything: she had already decided to leave the team and, frankly, there was nothing more Morgan could say to try and change her mind that he hadn't already said a million times. So they just danced, resigned, attempting to keep their grudges at bay to enjoy one of their last moments together.

She sighed and leaned closer to hug him, probably also to hide from him the fact that her eyes were visibly filling up with tears.

Now that he couldn't see her face anymore, Derek saw Spencer, 15 ft away from him, dancing with Penelope. For a moment stopped thinking about the whole Emily situation and just stared at him, smiling to himself as he felt like he was levitating inches off the ground.

He was so unbelievably handsome, Morgan couldn't have brought himself to shift his eyes away even if he had actually tried. He was wearing a black suit, the jacket - that fit him SO perfectly - had satin revers; white shirt with a wing collar and a black, satin bow tie, strangely tied perfectly instead of crooked as per usual - which, by the way, Derek loved. His hair was a little messy as it always was - another thing Derek loved - but a little shinier and with slightly more defined curls.

Now that he really thought about it, he wanted nothing but to take a closer look at Spencer, and feel those hazelnut eyes on him in return as well; and his slim fingers curl on the back of his neck; and the tips of their noses brushing against one another; and his voice coming in soft waves toward his eardrums, sweet like honey and smart like no one else's; and the skinny girth of his waist enveloped in his arm; and the silky texture of his brunette locks, tied around his fingers in a gentle restraint; and-

The music stopped, abruptly, exactly as Derek's fantasizing did. There was a pause, and then the song changed. The instrumental intro was immediately recognizable. No other song could be more perfect for that moment. The moment where the real couples got to dance, while the singles that didn't have the nerve to dance with whomever was left unpaired, sat and watched them. "Unchained Melody" started playing.

-

Spencer froze. He loved that song. Derek loved it too. Everyone loves Unchained Melody, to be fair. He knew he couldn't let that occasion slip away, and all of a sudden he felt his whole body tingling, longing for contact with Derek's, drawn toward it like a magnet. But he was dancing with Emily, how could he interrupt that?

"Oh my God, this song. What the hell are you still doing here, do I have to physically DRAG you??" Penelope scolded, finally shattering Spencer's wall of uncertainties, like she gave him her permission, validating his fantasy.

"But- but what are you gonna do? Come on I can't just let you sit THIS song out!"

"Oh I'm not gonna just sit it out. I'm gonna watch you boys." Penelope winked, reassuring him.

She let go of him and walked away. Spencer stood there and looked at *cough cough* his boyfriend and Emily still entwined in a hug. She was clearly crying, how could he come between that?

Especially after she'd come back, revealing that her death had been nothing short of a show, everyone on the team felt like their relationship with her had now become inevitably more authentic and precious. But that applied especially to Morgan, because he felt like he bore a huge responsibility toward her, since he saw her "dying" right in front of him.

Spencer had patiently listened to Derek confessing all his contrasting feelings for Emily, over and over again, during these months that she'd been back; like her return had revived those feelings in him, that he had somewhat forgotten about for a while. So, once again, Reid couldn't help but ask himself: how can I come between them right now, knowing all this?

-

Emily and Spencer's eyes met. She immediately knew what she had to do. She wiped off the tears with the back of her hand and let go of the hug.

"You shouldn't be dancing this one with me." she said to Morgan, smiling sheepishly. He frowned: he really didn't know what she was talking about.

She nodded her chin in his boyfriend's direction. Morgan turned his head and saw him, letting his arms fall down his sides. Emily winked at Spencer, before walking away toward Penelope, who was sitting on a bench playing with Henry.

Reid looked around quickly: the dance floor had definitely emptied out. He counted 8 couples left, dancing, including him and Morgan and, of course, the newly weds.

He gulped nervously and finally walked toward him. He seemed genuinely surprised, like the possibility that Reid could ever come up to him and ask him to dance was the last thing on his mind. Anybody who knew them could have bet it would be the other way around, if it ever even happened.

"Do you uhm...do you wanna dance with me?" he managed to ask, an adorable look on his face.

Derek didn't answer. He simply held out his hand as a warm, uncontrollable smile played at his mouth. 

Spencer bit his bottom lip, trying to hide his own smile, and took his hand, while placing the other on his shoulder. Derek wrapped his free arm around Spencer's waist, drawing him closer, and they started dancing slowly - swinging around in circles, to be fair, which was exactly how every other couple was doing it - staring into each other's eyes.

Derek looked top notch. He was wearing a black suit paired with an anthracite grey shirt; probably silk, Spencer gathered, judging by the way it reflected even that warm, soft light that pervaded everything, creating fluid shadows on the smooth fabric. The first two buttons were open to expose the notch of his throat - which was doing things to Spencer's mind and body - and to show a super thin, silver necklace, so thin it looked like a shiny thread - still, visible enough to lighten him up, standing out on his dark complexion.

After a long silence, Spencer let go of the other's hand to gently take the necklace between his fingers and observe it more minutely. His soft, feather-like touch on Derek's bare neck made him shiver.

"You like it?" Derek asked, without receiving an immediate answer. Instead, Spencer wrapped his hand around the side of Derek's neck, affectionately stroking it with his thumb.

"You look absolutely handsome." Damn. Spencer didn't even know how that phrase came out so smoothly.

Derek's brows shot up slightly: if it wasn't for the dark hue of his skin, one could say he was legitimately blushing.

He tucked behind Spencer's ear a strand of hair that was falling over his forehead, letting his palm rest on the back of his neck afterwards; fingers half buried in his curls.

"Coming from the prettiest boy in the room, I think that might be the biggest compliment I've ever received." he replied after a few seconds of silence, grinning affectionately at the man in front of him.

Spencer giggled shyly, feeling Derek's eyes fixated on him. He looked down at his feet, reckoning that he could have easily guessed the answer would be something along those lines.

-

Second refrain. ~Oh my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch...~

-

Spencer wanted to get closer to him, if that was even possible. He put his free hand behind Derek's back and pulled him so tight against his front it was like their bodies were melting into one another. The other man wrapped his arm tighter around Spencer's skinny frame, while a hand kept running through his hair.

Spencer closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Derek's, their lips lightly brushing against each other's cheeks. They had probably never shown publicly their mutual love in such a pure and intimate way. It felt freeing. It felt right.

-

Something over his boyfriend's shoulder caught Derek's eye: Penelope and Emily, still sitting on that bench not so far from them. Both women had been trying to capture his attention all along: Garcia was gesticulating and mouthing something to him.

"Just kiss him already!" she was saying. Had they really been watching all this time, waiting for them to kiss? To be fair, that wasn't so surprising to him. He was going to do that anyway, obviously, but he wanted it to come off as a simple comply of given orders, just for the sake of seeing those two squeal like teenagers.

He could feel Spencer's slightly shaky breath blowing warm air against his cheek, and the ends of his curls tickling his forehead.

Derek pulled away just a little and took a quick look at him, before finally pushing his lips against his, catching him off guard.

Spencer stopped the kiss before their tongues had even touched, and exhaled a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding, as if finally releasing the pressure of his whole body waiting for that kiss all along. He wrapped Derek in his arms as tight as he could and resumed the kiss, finally letting his tongue into the other man's mouth; moving his lips slowly but intensely, in sync with Derek's, uncaring of how that must have looked from the outside.

They slowed down, after what seemed like an eternity. Derek cupped Spencer's face in his hands as his pupils wandered back and forth between his flushed lips and his dreamy eyes; both men still kinda out of breath but trying not to be so obvious about it in front of all those people. Because, they were sure, at least the ones on the team were looking.

-

The song ended - it seemed like that had been the last one. The dance floor emptied out a little; people re-gathering in small groups to talk, some of them greeting others, about to go home. A general murmur in the background and an atmosphere of relaxation.

The couple was still lost in each other's eyes, like neither of the two had even perceived the song ending and the amount of people lessening. Spencer gradually came back to reality and slowly let go of the hug, without saying anything yet; though he was sure the desire to spend all night long kissing like that, without even having to take their clothes off, was a mutual feeling. Just, kissing.

"Derek? I- I think I'm gonna head home..." he said half-heartedly, tilting his head, hoping that Derek wouldn't hold back from self-inviting to come over, but not wanting to explicitly ask.

Receiving no immediate answer, he quickly pecked at his lips one last time before hesitantly turning around, slightly disappointed. He started heading back toward the others, joyfully gathered around JJ playing with Henry, to say goodbye before leaving.

-

Seconds after, he felt a wave of air being lifted from behind, indicating that someone was jogging toward him. And then he felt his hand wrapped in someone else's, his fingers being intertwined with someone else's. Not just someone, though. A special someone.

He smiled to himself at how cute that gesture was, coming from Derek: he wasn't one to hold hands in public, Spencer wasn't sure why.

"WE are gonna head home. That's what you meant." Derek finally answered once their paces had synchronized, whispering in his ear.

Spencer slightly cocked his head toward the tickling puff of air washing over his neck, blushing and biting his bottom lip in the attempt to not giggle.

"I guess I did."

[seyaryminamoto]

Been thinking for a while that I’d like to do a light behind-the-scenes glimpse into one of the themes in the newest Gladiator story arc. While it’s not the very core element of the arc, the source of Azula’s current struggle in the story came from... an unexpected place.

Unexpected as in, it came from LOK.

Okay, in all fairness, it’s not quiiiiiiiite something that came from LOK itself, but it’s a take on an idea I had while pondering the various reasons why Asami’s character wouldn’t really take off for me in the show. Well, beyond the obvious reasons why it wouldn’t *cough* Book 2 *cough*... 

I’ve always said I’m more than a little confused by how a character like Asami, with just 20-something years of age at the time of LOK Book 4, has enough talent and know-how to not only be a top-of-the-line engineer (which, yes, is believable enough on its own), but to also be a CEO in her own company (I gueeeess since the company falls into her hands and she mismanages it plenty in Book 2, it’s not that impossible to feature this in conjunction with the first thing?), a clothing designer, an architect AND a urbanist, capable of driving every machine known to man, an outstanding hand-to-hand fighter...!

... If you really think about it in cold blood, it feels like a little too much.

BUT. Instead of boringly accusing Asami of being a Mary Sue (which I’m sure some people might) for having a thousand talents that we don’t really see her work for, that she just developed offscreen, I thought the show would have benefited greatly from actually focusing on how Asami is handling the constant, desperate need of so many authorities in Republic City to have HER resolving all their problems.

Therefore, instead of a Reunion episode with a conflict focused on rescuing a kidnapped Wu (whom I profoundly dislike as a character, not for his role, but his personality is simply barf-worthy for me and the amount of focus Book 4 gave him was, as a lot of things, detrimental to the show as a whole, in my opinion), I thought LOK’s Book 4 could have instead featured a Reunion episode focused on Asami... which, of course, would also be a nice way to fix some of the lackluster onscreen development of Korrasami. So... let’s go onwards with my episode pitch:

Picture that Korra is about to reunite with Mako and Asami for the first time in all those years, same as in canon. Asami arrives! Yay, Korra is happy, Asami compliments her hair, just like in canon... aaaand then Asami says she can’t really stay, she just dropped by quickly because this REALLY matters to her, but there’s this pressing issue going on at the company and she has to deal with it RIGHT NOW, because no one else can. So, woops.

Korra is completely disappointed (and probably doesn’t even understand WHY she’s so disappointed, hinting at deeper feelings for Asami that Korra hasn’t even stopped to reason with yet), but she sees Asami off while pretending this doesn’t bug her (for Asami’s benefit), and ends up spending the evening with Mako but clearly she’s not enjoying it as much as she hoped to. Which could result in Mako being pretty surprised by whatever closeness and bond those two seem to have now, noticing that he seems to have fallen to second place in Korra’s eyes somehow.

So! Skipping ahead, perhaps to the next day, Korra tries to check on Asami again! :D Oh, but she’s got to work on the airbenders’ outfits, some have been having trouble with the aerodynamics of it, and it’s just not working as Asami intended, so more calculations are needed! She takes to studying on the subject frantically, has to figure out what formula she’s missing or messing up, and while Korra offers to help, she knows there’s not really anything she can do to give Asami a hand since this stuff is well out of Korra’s area of expertise.

Then, when Asami is finally finished, OH NO! An emergency in the train she inaugurated at the start of the season! Asami has to go deal with that too! And of course, Korra goes too, while wondering how TF does this damn city even run without Asami...

... And then realizing it actually doesn’t. There’s a president who basically dumps all the difficult issues on Asami because she has the know-how and the resources to deal with all the city’s problems, there’s an airbending master who requested for that same girl to help with the designs of his people’s combat outfits instead of dealing with it himself or finding someone else to help, there’s an entire vehicle company (ranging from cars to AIRPLANES) that depends on HER. And it’s just SO. MUCH. SHIT. For a girl who’s like... 20? 21? How old is Asami at this point? xD I don’t even remember. But the point I’m trying to get to...

Is that Asami should be overwhelmed. She hasn’t had anyone helping her, she deals with everything alone, and it doesn’t matter how hard she tries to work through this, there’s always one more problem, one more obstacle, one more bothersome thing she has to tackle, and nobody seems to stop and think that maybe she could use a break. That maybe she needs a nap because she hasn’t had one in 20 months. That maybe things in this damn city would be in a better place if people didn’t rely on her, and her alone, to resolve the bulk of their problems.

Korra, though, with her latest character growth (... that I’m not really fond of anyhow, but still...), has become a lot better at understanding people’s emotions. And her job as an Avatar is, amongst many things, to help people: someone she cares about deeply, her best friend future girlfriend, is currently going through so much crap and the truth is, Asami needs help. Whether Asami realizes it or not, she needs it. And so, whether it’s Korra’s job or not to help her, that’s all Korra wants to do right now. 

So Korra enlists Mako and then all three deal with whatever that train emergency might be! Asami probably rejects their help at first, out of force of habit of doing everything alone lately, until Korra tells her she doesn’t have to do that anymore. And then Asami’s mind is blown because yeah, maybe there’s a bunch of older people in charge who are happy to dump all responsibilities on her! But that doesn’t mean she has to accept it meekly and save all their asses time after time... and it also doesn’t mean she has to deal with everything alone.

After the train problem is resolved, Korra and Asami (maybe Mako too? But for Korrasami’s purposes, it can just be those two) get to have a small chat about what life has been like for Asami since Korra vanished. The conversation doesn’t merely focus on Hiroshi, which... *cringes* let’s not get into that. It focuses on Asami and the hardships she’s dealing with, seeing as the city is basically using her as a non-bender Avatar, in the sense of leaving all the problem-solving to Asami alone. Korra probably apologizes, Asami probably tells her not to feel guilty, because she has had it rough, and Asami understands that better than anyone, especially after what she’s been through lately.

It’s a cute, heartfelt moment, not necessarily romantic yet, but featuring a strong, meaningful bonding scene between these two! Asami wants to go back to work on some pending stuff, and Korra respects that, though she warns Asami not to overdo it. Asami promises she won’t... and the next time Korra checks on her, Asami is asleep on her desk or something like that. Korra smiles and puts a blanket on her shoulders, and when someone else arrives to say something REALLY BAD is going on, Korra shushes them and decides to deal with it herself (as long as she can), and, if she can’t, she’ll find someone else to do it in Asami’s stead so the girl can sleep safe and sound for the first time in ages.

Episode pitch over! :’D

*siiiiiiiiiigh* alright, so yeah, this was something I originally thought of as a replacement episode, to further explore and establish a bond between Korra and Asami that wouldn’t really resolve all of the rushed-Korrasami problems... but it would make it so much clearer that those two share a different bond, and a very special understanding of each other, that the other two Krew members simply don’t have with either of them. It’d deepen their relationship, but the most important element about this for me was that it’d be an Asami-focused episode and plotline. However brief it would have been, my idea was to feature Asami facing her own problems, not problems based on her relationship with other people (be it family or romance). It was also a way to show that she’s not indestructible or just the go-to problem solver with neverending resources and talents that the plot can exploit at leisure whenever it feels like it. And, most importantly, that Asami can’t and SHOULDN’T be the answer to every problem in Republic City, especially when she’s only delivering those answers off-screen, offering the viewers next to no chance to see her in action, kicking ass at all the things she apparently has insane expertise on.

As far as I know, the two LOK comic trilogies haven’t really done much for Asami either. I haven’t read them so I could be wrong, but from what I can gather from comments of people who have read them and the books’ summaries, she’s still Korra’s girlfriend first and foremost, gets kidnapped so she can be used as a hostage to manipulate Korra, and then gets brainwashed into fighting against Korra...? If this is truly how it is, again, Asami just gets reduced to a satellite character, in the sense that she just revolves around other people as though that’s all there is to her character, canon-wise. Which... makes me sad. She had potential, plenty of potential worth exploring, if only the show’s writing had been more paused and allowed their characters to breathe and grow organically, as a consequence of their own actions and decisions rather than by being forced into hellish situations persistently until they broke out of desperation.

So... LOK really had the chance to explore a much more human side of Asami that they’ve neglected to acknowledge so far (from what I know), a chance to deepen her character by displaying that no one of such young age should have so many difficult responsibilities dumped on her shoulders... which, again, could be expanded into a metaphor for the Avatar’s role, showing both Korra and Asami as two highly capable women who could achieve great things... but who need a chance to be normal too, once in a while. From the looks of it, neither of them have had that chance in canon (yes, Korra was stuck in a compound all her life but Asami must have been stuck in constant lessons at every discipline she has mastered? If she can deal with all those jobs of hers as flawlessly as she has, I don’t think she had much of a life before LOK started), and it would have been really nice of the deeper, darker show LOK wanted to be to acknowledge that a bunch of grown-ups, who had relatively smooth lives in their youth, dumping so much heavy work on a pair of girls who are just becoming young adults and barely had childhoods of their own, is just damn nasty :’D just as it was nasty in a show featuring a much younger cast... *innocent whistling*

Alas, this was just one idea that won’t ever go anywhere in canon, as is obvious. I’m sure I mentioned it at least once before, not as thoroughly as I did just now, but this is more or less what I had in mind. If you dump a thousand things on a character, it would only be fair to let them suffer for it, to a fault. Maybe don’t feature them whining because they have soooo much work to do... but turn them into workaholics! Show that they’re struggling to make everything pay off, that this kind of burden isn’t child’s play because in real life, it simply wouldn’t be.

But, as there’s next to no chance Asami will ever get this sort of development, I merely stashed this idea on my back burner, in case it might come in handy in the future... 

... And then I returned to it once Gladiator’s Enforcers became a solid reality. Azula has been dealing with challenges that are rather different from those Asami dealt with... but ultimately, the responsibilities both girls have taken up, Asami in canon and Azula in my story, were just insanely big. Azula, in Gladiator, has had very little time to spare for “secondary” pursuits since the previous arc, and in the current one that has become a problem because she simply CAN’T stop working. She goes home and instead of going to bed, keeps on working. She’s constantly on edge, assuming that any time not spent working is wasted time, time she should take advantage of to further improve her projects and endeavors... to the point where people are starting to notice she’s slightly overwhelmed, extremely stressed out, and needs to calm down :’D

I really had wanted to explore these themes in overachieving characters, who take up far too many responsibilities, more than are reasonable. While I’ll always consider it a really big waste of potential that LOK never gave Asami this particular dimension, despite her character 100% warranted it, at least I had the chance to explore this with Azula instead, and I’m honestly really pleased with the result, because it suits her really well too. The outcome won’t be at all like what I just outlined for the LOK episode that never was, and the current story arc will take a vastly different direction... which is why I thought it would be fun to explain where this particular, new dimension of Azula’s character had come from.

Aaaanyways... the bottomline is, Return to Shu Jing is here. And I reeeeeally love this arc. I hope that those of you reading and staying up to date with the story will love it too!

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x04 No Cure For Crazy

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Did that… did that tree just fucking walk?

Is the tree possessed by Dolls or something? Why is a tree helping Wynonna and Doc?

And why is Peacemaker not working?

2)

3) Okay, the trees are fucking bleeding and this dude just called it “a murder tree” and what the actual fuck!

4) So… the “fire” never really happened, it was just a Black Badge cover-up for the massacre. I really want to see where they go with this whole backstory they’ve given Nicole because so far? Not into it.

Nicole does make a good point of asking Waverly why she hasn’t talked to her mom yet to figure out who her parents are. She seemed quite intent on figuring it out last season, and here she has the perfect opportunity to have every answer she’s looking for, and she’s not taking it? Waverly is anything but a chicken, so I’d figured she would confront her mother head on but I guess she’s been conveniently written OOC so that the writers can keep this mystery going for a while. I hope they don’t stretch this for too long, though.

5) Why did Nicole randomly and carelessly throw the ring in the middle of the forest? Huh? That’s also kind of OOC? Wasn’t she talking about disposing of it carefully two minutes ago?

6) MORE OF THIS, PLEASE.

7) And more of this.

8) Okay, so Waverly IS going to see her mother, she just didn’t disclose that bit of information to Nicole, why? She just made this big speech about not keeping secrets from each other… or is it that she wasn’t planning on seeing her mom until Wynonna brought it up and basically set it all up for her?

And suuuure, Mama is doin’ just fine!

9) So, Wynonna couldn’t shoot Peacemaker because she ran out of bullets, which is a more logical explanation than what I was expecting. I don’t know why but I just assumed Peacemaker had magical ammo and it didn’t require reloading? Anywho, look at these two idiots flirting with each other and basically dry-humping…

10) SHIT. That was a low blow.

But how fucking adorable is it that he’d taken the time to buy - or build! - baby Alice a crib? My heart!

11) Why was their mother so intent on Waverly never finding out where she was or seeing her? And what’s going to happen when Waverly does…? There must be a reason. It seems she was trying to protect them.

12) Why are they giving me so much Doc/Wynonna in this episode? What’s going to happen? (Listen, I’ve grown up watching Joss Whedon shows, I’m conditioned to believe that happiness is followed by utter and complete destruction and mysery!)

13)

NICOLE: Can we talk? It’s about Nedley.

WYNONNA: Not again. How many more plungers do we need?

 14) Wait, did I forget that Jeremy was gay or they haven’t mentioned it before? Because I’m all for it, and especially about the way it was casually brought up in conversation because it’s not Jeremy’s single defining characteristic. 

15) I guess the mother-daughter reunion is happening sooner than expected, since Waverly was contacted as her last known emergency contact.

16) Jeremy is totally vibing with this Robin dude who found the murder tree and they’re making silly tree puns and it’s gay heaven, I love it.

17) Well, that couldn’t have gone any worse…

And yet, I can’t help but feel she means something else? I still feel she’s trying to protect Waverly.

Something happened when Waverly touched her, too, and then she kept saying “she’s unbound, she’s loose, kill the demon.” Waverly of course assumes her mom is referring to her as “the demon”, but I have a feeling she’s talking about an actual demon.

18) I really felt for Nedley when he admitted he’s tired of covering the supernatural shit up. Man, I hated him on the first episode of the show and now I’ve really grown to like him? And Wynonna suggested he should step aside and let Nicole take charge, and he’s actually considering it, and I’m here for Sheriff Haught.

19) Listen, I’m not usually into Gay, meet Gay, now get together because you’re the only two Gays so therefore you must be attracted to each other and date, but… I’m really liking the Jeremy/Robin interactions so far? They’re really cute!

20) And now they’re two gays who have zero idea about the woods lost in the forest and they found the stairway to heaven…

21) Mama Gibson is not messing around.

22) Ah, great, the idiots who let a dangerous convict escape have now locked Wynonna up. Marvelous.

23) Damn, Waverly keeps thinking her mother wants to kill her and that she called her a demon, but I just fucking know she’s talking about a literal demon that’s probably threatening Waverly’s life, that’s why she’s kept away from her.

24) Wait, what?

NEDLEY: Michelle didn’t go to prison because she burned down the barn. She went because her youngest daughter was in it.

Her youngest is Waverly? So did she try to set Waverly on fire? I have a hunch she’s possessed.

25) Oh, dang, Doc is hearing a baby’s cry in the woods. Of course, this is a trigger for him, he’s thinking of Alice, and he’s being lured into the woods.

26) Major Spike vibes in this scene…

27) Hm. Bulshar just tried to strike up a deal with Doc – he’ll give Doc reprieve from the knowledge of his miserable destiny if Doc does his bidding. And Doc was really contemplating accepting. Don’t be weak, Doc. Come on. There has to be a way.

28) So, this fucking corrupt guard suggests they should just off Wynonna and write it off as if Michelle murdered her own daughter when she was trying to escape. And of course, he’s a fucking revenant. It’s definitely going to be interesting to see how Wynonna gets out of this one while handcuffed and without Peacemaker…

I mean, she was fucking tasered and yet…

QUEEN.

29) Nedley, my heart. He’s so heartbroken over this.

NEDLEY: Well, I got a call to a situation at the Earp farm. By the time I got there, the barn was lit up like a torch. You... somehow you escaped. I mean, you were covered with soot, you were crying, but you were unharmed. WAVERLY: And my mother? NEDLEY: She was... locked in your daddy's patrol car. She set the fire. But she was no murderous sociopath. She was Michelle Gibson. Rodeo spitfire. The wild heart and loyal soul of Purgatory. Even the thugs and the dimwits drank to her. With her. They loved her. Look, she wasn't herself that night. She kept... she kept insisting that... that she was trying to vanquish a demon. WAVERLY: A demon she thought was... me. NEDLEY: Well, that would explain The occult nonsense that Ward saw plastered all over the barn before she lit the match. Did you believe it? That was Ward's interpretation. Look, your pop was my boss, so... And I know... I know I should've been braver. I should've defended her. But... I booked Michelle like I was told to. God, this just keeps getting worse. I've been trying to make up for it ever since. I kept watch over you. I tried to set Wynonna on the straight and narrow. That didn't work out. And when I became Sheriff, I pulled the report. I didn't want anyone seeing it.

30) Why would Wynonna let the revenant in on the fact that she got a kid? I mean, wasn’t the whole point of sending Alice away to protect her from the likes of him? I get that she used that bit of information to distract him, and yeah, she did this later…

…but maybe don’t go talking about your child out loud around the enemies?

31) Why is he coughing dirt? Is he going to get gay-buried before he can be allowed to actually gay?

32) Now Waverly is listening to her mom’s tapes with a psychiatrist or therapist or something, and yep, I’m still convinced she was possessed or something and the reason she was trying to stay away from Waverly is because she wanted to protect her. As she was talking to the therapist, she said “Shut up!” or something like that and she was clearly talking to someone else who was not there, like someone who might be in her own head or that only she can see. Someone or something that might be using her to kill her own daughter. The question is, who and why? Is it Bulshar manipulating her the same way he tried to manipulate Doc? Or is it something else altogether? And why is this something or someone so intent on killing Waves? What is she? What kind of role is she supposed to play in the grand scheme of things for this evil entity to want her dead so badly?

33) Okay, theory confirmed, Doc just heard a third, infernal voice on the tape.

34) Oh shit, is history going to repeat itself?!

Yep, there was an actual demon in serious need of a facial and makeover.

35) Bye bye Robin, I guess?

36) Who the fuck is Jolene and why is everyone acting like Stepford Wives? Is this some sort of Ted/Dawn scenario?! And why is it that, in a supernatural show, this is by far the creepiest thing I’ve seen?! 

37) So, I’ve got a lot of questions. First of all, I want to know more about the murder trees. How do they come to be? Are they inhabited by serial killers? We saw the face in one of them, and they can actually walk and move around, but why do they bleed? Is it like their victim’s blood? Also, who the fuck is Jolene? I mean, I know she’s probably the demon that showed up in the barn, but what’s her deal? What does she want? I mean, she didn’t kill Waverly, and instead she’s feeding and glamouring the whole group… to do what? Where was Robin taken? Can we please not do the whole bury-your-gays trope? I expect better of this show. Will Doc accept Bulshar’s deal? Please don’t, Doc. And what is Waverly?! That’s the biggest question of all, so I’m guessing the answer will be delayed till the season finale.

That was yet another fun, exciting Wynonna Earp episode, setting up a lot of stuff for the season, I guess. And I want answers!

38) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[ambitionsource]

also 001 zc im springing it all on u

spring it all on me baybee. i’m ready. i’m thrivin

Zay & Charlie

When I started shipping it if I did: oh if i were a viewer, i think i’d be sniffing out this storyline EARLY. literally from the moment charlie leaps up to volunteer to tutor him in 103 and then is all “you’re so unapologetically yourself” with all that Awe i’d be like... mhm. okay. mhm ok mhm mhm mhm right mhm....... although i think i would be skeptical. i would be kinda like (as i think some of you were) are they actually going to go through with this...... are they playing me 4 a fool.... but then when you watch 112 after so much build and theres the RUNNING ACROSS THE CITY TO GET TO THE AUDITION AND AINT NOOOO AWWWYWYWYWYWYAAYWAAYYYYY AND THE LOUVRE KISS LIKE WAHAHAHWAHWAHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH -- yeah i’d be in it from there. you don’t see it coming going INTO the first season, but to be honest zc kind of Owned the first season in the later half there. they were subtle in some ways but then they really just brought the mf PUNCH

My thoughts: so. clearly. i love them. fdkjshgkjsg i think i have a lot of fondness for them because they really organically blossomed in the first season in a way i wasn’t expecting. as y’all know, we broke the story for the second season first and then backtracked to s1, and i will be candid... charlie was like... not a person when we first outlined s2 JFGDSKLGKDFGKLFDH. he was in a relationship with zay, and it was supposed to be this big surprise going into the second season, but otherwise we really didn’t like... know what to do with him or honestly had THOUGHT about it. but then as we started working on s1, he just kind of... emerged, as well as their storyline of barely acquaintances to friends to unexpected lovers. and i really really love what they grew to be. they’ve been one of the best parts of writing the show tbh and i have so much fun writing their scenes, even when they’re challenging (cough 208 cough, one of the most difficult scenes i’ve ever written in anything ever)

What makes me happy about them: i love how they see the other person for who they actually are, how they can cut through the bullshit and see the other for how they wish they could be seen (charlie seeing zay as more than the popular “cool” kid that he has to put on as a sort of defense to survive at aaa, and zay seeing charlie for who he actually is beneath all of the facades he’s created to please the rest of the world) and how that allows them the courage to try and actually BE those things. like. charlie may not have ever gotten to a point of really considering accepting his own sexuality if it weren’t for zay, i think -- especially since zay then gave him this incredibly SAFE space to figure it out AND loved him at the same time. i love how they demonstrate such a Balance for one another (there’s that key word again!), like how in s1 a core part of their friendship is the fact that charlie seems to be the only person zay really has who cares about all the things he cares about but also isn’t... a crazy monster the way everyone at aaa is fDJSKFLDG. and zay brings balance to charlie in showing him its okay to have fun, to be imperfect, to throw a swear word around or not give a damn sometimes or do things just because he wants to. and that’s important! that’s major! and then i just love love love how they’re playful with one another but it comes from this very sincere fond place. their dynamic would not be what it is without their sort of teasing nature, but it NEVER feels like it’s coming from a place of animosity, it’s always this affectionate kind of banter. i’m really picky about how teasing translates into romance, and i think the way they make it work is a fave thing about them for me. i’m forgetting like 4324325 things i wanna say here but i love them MUCHO

What makes me sad about them: so. hm. yeah. you know how there are those otp ask games or gif memes and there’s always that category that’s like “it’s right, just not right now” ships? i have always disliked that category bc i think people constantly misinterpret it (or its just a poor label to apply to a ship lmao), but i think they are actually a perfect example of what i think that label is supposed to represent. charlie and zay are 100% right, but not right now. they can’t be right when charlie is still trying to figure out so much of his sexuality and his sense of acceptance, because no matter how much they love each other it’s just not fair to zay to have all these conditions on their relationship. like, it’s great that he likes him enough to be okay with it, but it shouldn’t be that way in a truly healthy situation. yknow? and when the rules keep changing or grow to be confusing (i.e. how charlie seemed to be improving in 207 but then backslid majorly in 208), you end up with like... well, miscommunications like 208. and those can be brutal.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: again, i’m just projecting based on my experience in fandom and observing fandom, but here are a handful of things i think would be common in zc fic that would drive me up the wall. 1) babying and/or pandering charlie to the point that he’s just like... this uwu baby gay that completely strips him of his complexity, surprisingly sharp sarcasm, all his uneven edges and quirks, etc. 2) fetishizing of them both or more specifically, racism surrounding the portrayal of zay 3) a complete bashing of charlie’s faith, as that goes against how he’s written + his arc as a character [ like if you gotta work thru ur own grievances with organized religion then by all means, but it would probably bother me bc of his characterization and im literally not even religious lmao ] 4) banter that crosses the line and goes into that territory of lowkey bullying or tasteless that is a squick for me

Things I look for in fanfic: so of course, characterization that allows for the complexity of both of their characters would be A1 from day one as usual. would always love something that highlights the dance thing since that is... so important to their relationship in the show lmao. people who could capture their delicate balance of banter would be whew!!!! also random but i thought about it earlier today -- when winter olympics rolls around again, who is gonna write the ice skating au? it’s only a step or two away from dance y’all, let’s SEE IT!!!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: zay would make the best of any relationship he gets into, but he and riley could be cute as i have mentioned before (altho i naturally prefer them as best friends, but they would treat each other the way they deserve which is important). there’s a character coming in s4 who i actually really enjoy with zay, but that’s a spoiler and neither here nor there... as for charlie, i again will make my vague comment about appreciating lucas x charlie... and that’s all i can say on that.............

My happily ever after for them: god i just. i want them to be happy and in love. and i mean that in that they’re happy with themselves, so they can be happy with one another. like, TRULY happy without all these conditions or strings attached. and to be able to be happy together IN PUBLIC. literally can you imagine. CAN YOU IMAGINE??

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: hmmmmmm again, i think it would vary. but i think my inclination is that typically zay is the big spoon, although i will say i think charlie is overall more cuddly (not that you’d ever assume so in public bc he’s so repressed DSJKFJDSKLGFDLKG)

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: i assume we wanna discuss the ones... that aren’t dance DJSKLFJDKGJFDLKJGKDJHLKDH. aside from the obvious, i really do think zay and charlie like to go out and explore together and just like... share experiences. like going to art museums is a big one, and seeing live performances. art is something that really connects them and i don’t think that can be understated, and one of their favorite things is experiencing art together and then getting the other to talk about their opinions on it. i also do think that while zay isn’t big on literature, he can be swayed if charlie reads to him. art completely aside, i think they like to go to the grand central market and browse / try new things. they also like window shopping, but that’s kind of funny bc their styles are so different so they’ll be like ooh and the other will be like rly. FDNSJKFDJSLGJDSG. omg they should have a day where they just get to dress the other person up all day in different stores... THERES a fun activity... zay is dressed head to toe in GAP and he’s like please set me on fire fJDSKFJDSKLGJKDLFG

send some winter hiatus asks !! or try this one

[elizaviento]

Manipulation (part 14)

Note:  Oh, here’s an update.  Finally.

NSFW -- 2550 words

(FYI: This story is a sequel/companion piece to Assimilation, which can be found in the Rick Fic Masterpost link in my blog’s description along with additional chapters of Manipulation.  Or, you can click the #manipulation tag in this post, within my blog, to access all additional chapters.)

*****

As she stood from the booth, her legs resembled that of a newborn fawn as she took a moment to steady herself before gracelessly exiting the restaurant.  She was insistent that I not assist her and I smirked as she wobbled on those ludicrously high heeled shoes.  But, I followed close behind and made quick work of pulling her to the side as soon as we were away from prying eyes.

“What about my car?” she asked when I pulled out my portal gun and triggered the green swirl in the alleyway.  I just tossed her a look as if to say ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ before taking her hand and leading her through.

From the look on her face, she had expected to step out in the soundproof cave of my bedroom or even the garage.

“This is my place,” I clarified.  Instead of questioning me, as I could clearly tell she wanted to, she politely waited for me to continue.  “I – I bought it before I left thinking – thought I wouldn’t be gone th-that long.”

Glued to the spot, she took a tentative look around the small and humble living space, her eyes finally landing on an old framed photo on the coffee table.  It was a photo she had taken during the Christmas season, almost fourteen years prior, of the entire family.  Summer was a toddler and Morty was only a few months old. She had him perched on her hip, standing between me and Jerry.  Summer was latched to my leg and Beth was on my other side with her arm around my waist, smiling down at Summer.

Plucking the frame from the table, she seemed to study each face individually. Stepping closer, I peered at the photo from over her shoulder, taking my own trip down memory lane.

“I – uh – I thought you looked so pretty that day.  I felt – made me feel like a – like a dirty old man.”

Placing on hand on her left shoulder, I used the other to sweep her hair over her right. In response, she shivered slightly as I trailed my tongue up from her shoulder to the soft spot behind her ear.

“Why didn’t you move in here when you came back?”

That question was unexpected and for a second, I balked.  “I dunno.  Guess I – I didn’t want to.”  In fact, I hadn’t really even considered moving into this house when I finally felt it was time to saunter back into my daughter’s life.  Huh…

Resurfacing from introspection, I noticed that she was still studying the faces in the photo when I snatched it from her hand and tossed it on the nearby armchair before turning her to face me.  Her expression, the one I’d seen a thousand times, proved to me what I had suspected – she was thinking way too hard.

“Stop t-thinkin’ – analyzing everything,” I whispered, dipping my head to kiss her, running my tongue over her bottom lip.  Opening up, she allowed me to sweep inside, threading her hands behind my neck.

Fuck, she was an excellent kisser. Her tongue rolled and wrestled with mine for dominance before giving in entirely as I pushed my fingers through her hair.  And, before I knew it, she had pressed nearly every inch of her body against mine; literally grinding her pelvis against the hard on already straining the inseam of my slacks.  When I pulled back to gently suck on the sensitive skin of her neck, she arched her back – applying more pressure to my aching cock – and tilted her head to grant me easier access.

“My god, Rick,” she sighed.  “You make me so fucking wet.”  My eyes rolled back into my skull and I issued an involuntary groan at the utterance of her filthy confession before nipping lightly along the column of her neck. “Were you really jealous before?” Her voice was breathy, each word punctuated with labored pants, and my lips and tongue and teeth continued to assault her flesh.

“Fuck yeah, I was,” I confessed, mumbling against her skin.  She moaned and dug her hands in my hair, encouraging me to continue. “Th-the thought of someone else – I-I-I was ready to rip that asshole’s dick off.”

Had those words really left my mouth?  Since when had I become so willing to admit anything of that sort?

Then, she laughed.  “Trevor isn’t an asshole.  And, he probably would’ve liked that. He told me and he’s into some kinky shit.”

Just then, I realized that this woman in my arms had lived an entire life after I’d left and I suddenly felt something knot in the pit of my stomach that, for once, wasn’t the booze threatening to expel from the orifice that had consumed it.

Pulling back to look at her face, she only laughed harder.  “You still cackle like a chicken, ya know,” I commented before asking, “How well do y-y-you know that guy, anyway?”

“He’s an old friend.  His fiancé, Jared, was on the force with Chris.  That’s how I met him.”  At the mention of her deceased husband, the knot in my stomach grew.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear the rest, but I remained quiet and she took that as her cue to continue.

“We kept in touch through text and email after I moved.  When I got back, I told him how I wasn’t exactly keen on returning to my old firm here and he suggested that I try to branch out on my own.  He’s building a house to surprise Jared.  He wants to have it finished before they get married and offered to contract with me for the architectural plans.”

As she talked, I stepped away from her to sit on the sofa to absorb and contemplate; my mind ticking a mile a minute as I imagined her in social situations with people I didn’t know and didn’t give two shits about.  Why was it so bothersome?  Why did it slightly irritate me, the idea of sharing her time with anyone else?

You already know the answer to this, you dumb fuck – jealousy.  Jealousy. JEALOUSY.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked suddenly, startling me.  At some point, she’d ambled to the couch and sat down, unbeknownst to me.  Thankfully, I didn’t give myself away physically, keeping the stoic pose I’d assumed several minutes prior.

“What – yeah, sure,” I replied, forcing my gaze from shifting in her direction.

“Did you know what I would see in the inter-dimensional goggles?”

Welp… you saw that one coming from a mile away.

“Not – uh – not exactly, but I had an idea.”  When she remained silent, I finally chanced a glance at her and continued. “You saw us – them… fuckin’, right?”

“Right,” she nodded, her expression neutral, as if we were having a completely normal, run of the mill conversation.

“Yeeeah. Happens a lot.”  Raking a hand through my hair, I leaned back and sighed; preparing myself for the follow up questions.

“Happens a lot in that dimension, or…” she trailed off.

“In an infinite number of dimensions.  Of course, it’s – uh – a little different in each one.”

“She’s cheating on Chris,” she said, more to herself than to me.  I shrugged in an effort to display how inconsequential that fact was in the grand scheme of things.

“Those – t-t-those Ricks don’t stick around home much.  For – uh – obvious reasons, I guess.”

“That’s why you didn’t recognize Chris when we were –”

“Yeah,” I interrupted her, not needed – or wanting – her to complete that sentence.  “They aren’t around him when I’m watching.”

“So, we just fell into some cosmic trap, huh?”

“No such thing.  We – w-w-we just like screwin’ each other.”

I could see her reasoning for thinking that we were ‘destined’ to become fuck buddies, but there was no use in lying.  The justification was flimsy, at best, and only served to sooth a guilty conscious. She didn’t seemed perturbed, though, as I saw her smirk from the corner of my eye.  However, she was silent for a few minutes that stretched on for a few years before continuing her interrogation.      

“When did you know?  About the others, I mean.”

“I’ve known for a while,” I confessed, pulling my flask from the breast pocket of my lab coat. The metal scrape of the cap as I unscrewed and the slosh of liquid, a familiar comfort as I tipped it to drink. A second later, I extended it toward her, touching the cool metal to her bare upper arm in offering, to which she accepted.  Only this time, she seemed to have prepared herself and only coughed slightly before taking another healthy sip before handing it back.

“There – uh – there’s dimensions where we – they started fuckin’ almost as soon as she turned 18,” I began.  “I-I-I don’t kick around those much.  It’s… uncomfortable.”  The woman on the couch beside me choked out a strangled laugh and I couldn’t imagine the associations she was making.  But, she waived her hand in the air in a gesture for me to continue.

“There’s dimensions where it – it happened later.  How much later depended upon ran-random factors.  A – uh – a big one is when or-or if I leave.”

“You could have had me before you left.”

“I know, baby,” I acknowledged, tilting my head against the back of the sofa to stare at the ceiling.  Recalling her adorable yet surprisingly subtle flirtatious that she probably didn’t even realize way back then creating a warm flush in the center of my chest. “You – y-y-you were so perfect.  I couldn’t ruin that.”

“And, what happened with Unity?”

Sighing, I took a larger gulp from my flask and continued –

“I – I thought – ugh – I-I-I thought it was happening for me then.”  Leaning forward, I hid my face in my hands and groaned.  The humiliation and guilt crashed into me like a tsunami wave. “W-w-when I saw you on that filed – I – I should’ve know. Fuck!”

“Rick, it wasn’t your fault,” she comforted, scooting closer and placing a hand on my back in an attempt at a soothing gesture.  “I know that.  And, nothing happened.  I still haven’t recovered all of the memories but it was clear from what I do remember that Unity didn’t actually want to… you know,” she finished, unable to actually say the words.  “It was manipulation, pure and simple.  Neither of us are to blame.”

Her words were utter bullshit and I groaned again, wishing for her to shut the hell up.

“You’re a good man, Rick.”

Then, there was the rustle of movement as she rose from the couch to stand in front of me. When I finally gathered the courage to look up at her, she shuffled forward and pushed my legs together so that she could stand directly over them.  Automatically, my hands flew to her hips in an unconscious bid to keep her there as she raked both bands through my hair, lowered to straddle my lap and scooted forward until we were chest to chest.  Settling her hands on my shoulders now, she bent her head to sprinkle kisses from the crook of my neck up toward my jaw; her lips fluttering across my skin in a way that had me stifling a whine of pure need.

“I’m not good with feelings and I’m certainly not good with talking about feelings –” she started, moving to the other side of my neck and continuing between kisses, “– and I don’t expect you to reciprocate.  But, I adore you, Rick.  I have since the first moment I met you.”  Hitching a breath, my hands migrated from her hips to her knees before gliding up her thighs.  “And, no one has ever made me feel as good as you do.  No one has ever made me cum so fucking hard.”

“Christ,” I replied in a shaky whisper, moving my hands higher up her thighs until I reached the lace of her panties, hooking a finger under the tops of each side.  “T-t-take them off.  Right now,” I commanded.

Quickly, she rose to obey and as soon as the offending garment was discarded, I grasped her hips and slammed her down on my crotch, thrusting upward.

“Rub – grind that pussy, baby,” I growled in her ear, rotating her hips in my clothed erection.  “I want you – w-w-want my pants soaked, understand?”

“Yes!” she cried as I continued to thrust upward, the pressure on my cock increasing to a maddening degree.

“Oh, t-that’s it, sweet girl.  Just – juuust like that,” I praised as she undulated her hips.  Her hands were clenched on my shoulders – almost painfully – for leverage as she ground harder and harder; smearing her wetness across that slack covered bulge real nice.  “Mmm, my dick feels slick already,” I crooned, kneading her ass roughly.  “Lean back for me.  Let me see.”

Lifting the hem of her dress, the obscene sight of wet spot she’d left on my slacks coupled with the furiously blush staining her cheeks made my head spin as raw lust clouded my conscious mind.  “Baby –” I whispered directly into her ear, “– you’re so perfect.  Keep – don’t stop.”

And, she appeased me, grinding and swirling her hips as I pressed upward again and again and again until we were both breathless.

“Rick – ohh! Rick, I’m gonna cum,” she moaned, screwing her eyes shut in concentration.

“Yesss, my good girl.  Make yourself cum.  Let – l-l-let me see those eyes when you do, yeah?”  Leaning back, she locked her eyes with mine, the connection so intense it was nearly too much.  “Oh, that’s it,” I encouraged, leaning in to place a quick kiss to her lips, never breaking eye contact.  “Make yourself cum on my pants, baby.  Get them nice and soaked for Daddy, huh?”

“Oh god!” she screamed, digging her nails into my shoulders so hard, I grimaced.  But, fuck, it was a beautiful sight – this woman unraveling right before my eyes.  Then, as the climax that had triggered the flood I had demanded she leave on my pants began to ebb, sweat trickled from her temples and rolled between her tits as she caught her breath and leaned forward to rest her head on my shoulder.  Her breathing was ragged and her body trembled slightly when it occurred to me –

Daddy?  What the actual fuck, Sanchez?

I had never assigned that moniker to myself, even in the throes of passion, with any other lay.  In fact, I had witnessed countless Ricks referring to themselves as ‘Daddy’ and scoffed, finding it utterly cliche.  Yet, here I was – succumbing to the same song and dance rippling out through the multiverse. The phrase ‘cosmic trap’ resurfaced in the back of my mind and I suppressed a bitter laugh.  

Well, fuck me...

To be continued...

[agateshot]

"My parents are old." Sasha was saying, leaning back on her elbows, settling in easily into Meadowsweet's lap, letting him pleat her hair, "They're the elders of the village, actually. They appreciate what I do for them, for everyone, but I've been disowned."

"That doesn't seem very fair." Meadowsweet murmurs mildly, "Disowned for fighting?"

"Well… not hollows. There was some important something or other that came by once, tried to claim me as a bride, as I'm head daughter and all. The boy wasn't the problem, it was the obnoxious parents. Their town is hardly bigger than ours, and I don't begrudge the idea that you should marry outside of your village once in a while, I simply couldn't bear the idea." She laughs, reaching up to brush her hand against his face."I told him if he could flip me in a fight he could have me. He couldn't, and my parents quickly disowned me and allowed my younger sister, who was smitten by the boy, marry him instead. They still talk to me, but I have to resign myself to the fact I'll never inherit more than the blade I already use."

Meadowsweet nods in understanding, a smile crossing his lips.

"My parents… were troubled." He says, "Mother knew a lot about herb lore, my father wasn't around much. She was in love with him, but Hawthorn and I saw it on his face the last time he was with us, that he didn't think Mother was lovely anymore. She was, though. Not in any way he cared about, but her beauty was in her jams, and her healing. He wanted someone eternal, but she was a spring flower. Lovely in her season, nurturing as she faded."

"You're a poet." Sasha teases, but Meadowsweet only smiles.

"Her name was Rose," He explains, "Her name and her tragedy lends well to it."

Sasha looks sad at that, but Meadowsweet shakes his head, leaning down to hug her.

"That was a long… long time ago." He murmurs, "Something that has been resolved."

"Meaning you don't want to talk about it."

He nods. She lets it lay, breathing slowly across his neck as she stretches up backwards to return his embrace.

"We still need to get you that new shield." She whispers, "The one we've saved up to commission."

He hums, not wanting to commit to it. Sure the rusted hollow shield he's been using isn't great, but… a new shield? To fight with Sasha? He already does so, but it seems so final. Seems like he really is deciding to move on from Hawthorn and pair up with someone else.

Nothing could be like fighting with Hawthorn. His balance has been off since he severed his tail, and no one can match the pure instinct and speed that came from fighting with his brother. The way that each swing of the sword brought him, as a perfect shield to his brother, up to block the return blow, to parry it away and stun any monster, any demon, any giant, kneeling before them. Nothing could be the same as feeling the energy running through their fine fur, connecting them as each breath was excitement, energy, the hunt.

He will always feel the loss of Hawthorn as real as the loss of his own tail. Both something he has done, both something he has to deal with.

"Lot of hollow lately." He says finally. "I wonder if someone has been making them. It use to be part of my job to find out about that."

"It was?" Sasha says, "Why did you stop?"

"Long story, but the covenant I was a part of, I needed to leave." He shrugs, "Though, I can't help but wonder if it would be better to investigate, or pass intel back in hopes it could be sorted."

She's about to say something else, probably ask more questions. He's willing to answer some of them, the Nameless Moon wasn't part of the past he was ashamed of. If he had felt like he could fight… he would still be fighting in his service. He had left his shield on Anor Londo, letting himself wander off into the wilds recklessly.

Unfortunately, his cough kicks back up before she can speak, and as much as he can stifle it while he untangled himself from her, he can't stop it, nearly heaving his lunch out onto the ground as his lungs convulse. She's kind enough to pet his back and neck as the attack progresses, and he leans onto her, grateful for the small comfort. Finally, he settles down, wiping his mouth with the handkerchief she had given him the first time they met-- and the first time she heard him coughing like this.

He's quick to fold it away and hide the blood on it, not wanting her to worry. He's fine, he really is. This is what he wants.

"Sometimes I worry about you." She says, almost as a response to his thoughts, pulling his head toward her to hold.

"I know." He admits, an arm going about her waist, "I worry about you too. You should really think about getting that shield for yourself, and learn how to use it. Its reckless that you don't."

"So you tell me every day." She replies, "And still you swoop in to save me."

"Up until the day I can't." He admits, "But I worry that by then it will be too late, and you won't think to dodge."

She doesn't have a response to that, and doesn't reply. They stay like that, in each other's arms for some time. He runs his hand up her back, intending to pull away shortly after, but the little sound she makes causes him to pause slightly- he looks up to her, and the expression there makes his ears grow hot. She leans close to his face, but he turns away, accepting her lips on his cheek instead.

"Some other time, perhaps." He tells her, "We should probably get back into town for the evening. Place the order with the blacksmith, settle in for the night."

It isn't that he doesn't want her, of course he does. This wouldn't even be their first time, but his head is still spinning from his thoughts, his mouth still tastes of blood. He's worried that if she touches him now, like this, he will break. Or that this time she may lift his shirt up to find the harsh outline of scales that had never been there before.

He supposes that he was the lucky one, his inhuman features have always been less severe than Hawthorn's. While both had been exceedingly covered with white downy fur at birth, Meadowsweet never had spikes. Now, without his tail, the worst of it was that he seemed to be a little hairy. And his eyes of course, but if Sasha thought any of this unusual, at worst she didn't mind them, though it rather seemed she liked them.

Though- he really shouldn't think about the way her fingers stroked through the fur on his abdomen, or his resolve will crumble. He stands up quickly, causing her to snort a little with laughter as she takes his hand to follow him.

There is a lot to think about over the next few days, as they wait for his shield to be forged. He believes the one he has commissioned is a good fit for him, broad and tall, and one that he should be able to handle with ease. At least for a time. Really, anything bigger than the toy shields hollows use would be ideal, but… they had the souls for it, he wants something he can defend her with, against even the likes of an ogre. It's all he can see, really. Something big and massive like an ogre, grabbing her and eating her, while he can do nothing but watch, streaming and screaming and--

"Meadowsweet! Meadowsweet, wake up!" Her voice is thick and warm in his ear, and he clings to it, clings to her, and he sobs.

It seems for a time, his crying is endless. But as all things must, it ends, him in her arms, being rocked and soothed.

"I'm sorry," He tells her, "You shouldn't have to deal with this… I'm so sorry."

"You are my dear companion," She tells him, "If I can't be here for you off the field of battle, I have no right to expect you to be there when we are on it."

She has a point there, and he nods. While there was no way he was going to leave her now, if there was any doubt in her mind over their bond, her fighting style may change. Become unpredictable. She may chose to charge forward without him, and he would be in that situation he so feared.

The shield was perfect. He had been anxious about the weight (and clearly, a great deal many other things,) but it sat on his arm exactly has he intended it to sit. With this now on his arm, he has once more become a wall of metal, and his heart sings with the feeling. What training they can do off of the field of battle, they do, his large, heavy strikes snapping the training strawman off of their wooden poles, Sasha, like lightning, zinging out to lop off their straw heads before they hit the dirt.

They were quickly banned from the training field, sent out to go practice on the hollows. They had as much success here as they did on the grounds, flattening about twice more than they usually do in half the time. They're further out than usual, and while they feel like they had just gotten started, Sasha agrees that they had done their fair share of work for the day.

As they turn to head back, however, Meadowsweet pauses, looking at the hard earth beneath their feet. The wind had changed slightly, and a rancid odor had brushed past his face. Ogre. He thinks that the smell is strange, though, strong, yes, but not strong enough to be a settled one. He frowns.

"Meadowsweet?" Sasha probes, placing a hand on his back. He stands up a little straighter, turning his head to see what direction they would have to go.

"We've got one more fight left." He says reluctantly, not wanting to put her in danger, but it would be foolish to head in by himself, not truly skilled with anything but his shield. "Are you up for it?"

"Please, I've been dying for another fight." She says, excitement crossing her face.

"Hopefully not," He replies, "I'd hate to see it. I truly hope the only one dying is our ogre."

"An ogre?! This close to the village? Are you sure?"

"Well," He says, rolling a shoulder, "If I'm not then we can go home. If I am, you can see the need to fight."

She nods, and they head in. It's not long until they find the tracks in the dirt, pounded over themselves as if the giant had been pacing. Meadowsweet pauses, looking at them. Oh dear.

"Meadowsweet." Sasha says softly, readying her sword.

"Hold on." He says, "I'm…"

"Meadowsweet…" Sasha says, more apprehension in her voice.

"I'm counting," He says, "I think there may be…?"

"Two ogres?" She says, finishing for him.

He looks up, just in time to see the two ogres launch rocks at them. He darts in front of Sasha, slapping the rock back at them. The stone projectile hits the closer of the two beasts, causing a loud, painful bellow. The second one screams in rage, beating its chest and charging at them.

"Stay behind me," Meadowsweet says, "Only attack it when it's on the ground, keep an eye on the other one--"

"These aren't my first braces of ogres," Sasha tells him, applying fire to her blade, "But I shall keep it in mind."

Something happens in that fight. They weren't able to defeat the first ogre before the second recovered, and they end up pinned between them, but-- Their breath was one, and their rhythm transcended. Meadowsweet would knock one beast down, and while to face the other just as it attacked, knocking it back down to the earth, shaking the very fabric of the world. Sasha's blade was sharp and quick, biting at thick hide until the very second the lumbering beast was on its feet again, rearing back.

The beasts fall before them, and finally… they do not rise again. Sasha turns to face him, and Meadowsweet faces her. She's cleaning the blade of her sword on a bit of cloth, high color in her cheeks and her eyes are bright.

She sheathed her sword, and he removes his helmet. It's all the invitation she needs to jump up into his arm and kiss him, pulling off her own leather helmet.

He ends up finding them a sort of shallow nearby, free from the smell of ogre, covered in a soft moss, hidden under the roots of a tree. Their equipment is left outside, save for Sasha's sword, their cloaks, and the large shield placed as a barrier between them and the rest of the world.

Their rhythm turns sweeter, and they stay secluded for some time, enjoying and celebrating their companionship.

By the time they are satisfied with each other, the moon is out, its light catching on the fine fur on Meadowsweet's shoulders like frost on grass as he moves his shield aside. He turns back to look at Sasha, his heart in his throat as he sees how lovely she looks like this. He hardly even notices the small berry that falls from above, sticking in his hair. She does, however, and she leaves her repose, picking out the small sliver berry, turning it in her hands.

"Mistletoe." He says, looking at it. "Some people think it's a symbol of fertility, though I hadn't noticed it when we slipped in here."

"Mistletoe." She repeats, a small smile forming on her face. "I wonder what that means for us."

"Would that be something you…" He says, pausing as he becomes shy.

"I wouldn't mind it." Sasha admits, "You've had my heart since I saw your eyes."

He smiles at that, and he finds himself wanting to laugh. For the first time since his brother has died, he does so.

However, as they're leaving, he happens to glance back at the tree they had been under, his breath catching in his throat.

"Something the matter?" Sasha asks, adjusting the straps in her leather armor, "You look faint."

"The tree. It's a hawthorn." He whispers.

She asks him what the symbolism is there, but he cannot answer. He cannot.