#and a whole bunch of others i can't b bothered to write them all and i've already used up the number of tags

[unlucky-leek]

I'm still really struggling with the whole novel writing thing. I'm gonna ramble a bit so you can ignore this if you want lol

Basically I've realised that I keep settling on an idea, doing a bunch of research / planning, getting super into writing it for a while, and then lose all motivation as soon as I reach some sort of roadblock. For example I'll be like "OK cool, so how do we get from plot point A to plot point B...", but then the more I start trying to come up with solutions, the more I start overthinking everything, and then I end up in this spiral of "that doesn't make sense, the characters wouldn't do that, that's too cliché, that's just a dumb excuse for x, y, and z, no-one would read this or take this seriously, imagine the negative reviews, etc etc", which I *know* is dumb because I've been writing for *years* and ever since I was a literal child I've had people complimenting my story telling and writing style. Even my fanfics have had a lot of nice comments from people. And it gets worse than that - I occasionally find forgotten collections of my own writing from over a decade ago and I'm like "damn, this is actually really good, how did I do that?" And then I get miserable because I feel like younger me was writing much better than current me, and I don't know how to recapture that.

I think a major issue I have is that my characters tend to take on a life of their own, and then it becomes hard for me to make them do things I know they wouldn't do, which makes changing and adapting the story much harder once I've established them. On the flip side, if I don't do that, then I don't feel invested in them and can't be bothered writing their story, which also sucks.

Something that simultaneously keeps impressing me and annoying me is my writing from 2016-2017. As it turns out, I wrote a LOT that year. There's so much, and I love re-reading it because it feels like I'm reading someone else's work (maybe that's a dumb thing to say, idk). But the problem is it's all half finished or random short stories that will never fit in anywhere. It's so mystical and philosophical, full of dark themes, pondering existence, fairy tale like settings... But none of it is finished, and now I feel like I can't do it justice.

There's a story I started back then that I'm desperate to finish but it's so philosophical that I get sad every time I try to work on it, which sounds ridiculous, but it is what it is lol (it's based on the concept of Tulpas if you know what they are).

Then there's the story I've had going on in my head since 2008. I've written a few scenes for it here and there, but the damn thing spans over 3000 in universe years and almost 20 irl years, how the heck are you meant to condense that into a book?? I tried writing a new story set in the same universe, but it just didn't feel right. Ironically they're the characters I feel most comfortable writing about even though I can never publish anything about them (probably).

Then there's one I've been working on recently that was based on an old fanfic story of mine (the original plot, not the characters), but I keep getting paranoid that I can never publish it because the original fanfic from 2011 is still out there. Are original adaptations of fanfics you wrote a thing? Would people sneer at it?

Then I have a random other story I got pretty far with but realised I don't know enough about the themes or the community involved to write it respectfully, so I've temporarily given up on that for now too.

I've kind of ended up in a bit of a slump I guess. In no small part due to the fact that since 2017 I just haven't had as much time to write as I'd like, and if I do I overthink it all and don't actually write anything. Or I'll be spending time doing other things I enjoy and an annoying thought will be going "you could be using this time to write", and then I just feel annoyed at myself.

Maybe I should just start with a short story collection or something... At least I know I'm relatively good at those. Or maybe I'll push through the sadness it causes and just work on the Tulpa one at last.

Not sure why I'm writing this to be honest, I think I just needed to get it all down to clear my mind.

Thanks for reading if you got this far, I hope to have an actual story for you to read one day!

~03/10/2024

[fraternum-momentum]

Okay, so let me ramble abt making the last comic, cause that was an absolute behemoth to work on, and I have a lot of thoughts in my head. Man, I don't know how those webtoon artists do it every week. They scare me now.

This is super long btw, so get cozy if you want to read :]

Starting off, I actually got this idea from my lil 'ol diary I keep by my tableside :] I like writing down what I feel so I can see it in a more concrete(?) manner, helps me cope i think. One time, I really did cry for someone because I guess I just really liked them a lot. Having crushes is fun, but catching feelings isn't.

I always get this giddy feeling of being head over heels for someone. Every interaction is so exciting. Intoxicating even. And I couldn't get enough of it, but after that few seconds of bliss I immediately think to myself that all these scenarios in my head will never happen, not in a million fucking years. I just preemptively reject myself without ever telling the person what I feel. I know what the outcome will be anyway, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I did say anything. It's just too risky.

The second half is completely made up tho, I will never ever kidnap someone... unless? (For legal reasons, I will have to clarify that this is a joke, Thank you.)

Now onto the comic itself!

The composition is probably the easiest and the most fun part. I love, love, love, how versatile you can be in the webtoon format. Figuring out how to transition the panels is super fun, and it sucks that most of the webcomics I see on tapas or webtoon, etc. are just sticking to those boring box formulas over and over again when it has so much potential, although there are exceptions like, for example, Lore Olympus. While it has it's fair share of flaws when in comes to other aspects, you can't deny the artist's talent esp when it comes to knowing how to place the character in an illustration, (again) the compositioning etc etc. (ep. 8 is p good. They stick to the box stuff during dialogue but gets more experimental in some parts. I haven't been keeping up with it, so idk any other good eps)

One of my only big regrets is that I wish I had made the space between the '...but I love it." and "And soon..." parts longer. I think it changed scenarios way too fast and your eye immediately moves onto the next piece of text,, but eh, it is what it is, and I can't be bothered to edit it so ig I gotta learn to live with it.

It's still messy in,, a lot of parts actually, and I still can't do lineart to save my life, but i kinda tried just cleaning up the sketches instead???? I mean, it kinda works, but it isn't really smooth so,, And there are small mistakes here and there that I could've fixed or colored stuff in properly or whatever. But at that point, I'm just done with it. No more. Am tired and want to draw other shit now. Maybe boobs n dicks n pussy-

Oh actually i have another comic in my wip folder that I started before the sad Kylar crying one. Here's some of the thumbnails for it:

the fucking lisa simpson looking ass face just cracks me up every time I see it LMAOQJSJQJ I just wanted to show it to u but stay tuned for that ig

I eventually want to make little comics like this for other characters as well! Like Sydney, who is also one of my favorites cause of the whole religion aspect to them, and I would like to tackle that topic with yet another super personal experience of mine that for some reason I'm comfortable with sharing with a bunch of ppl lmao

I also really want to make a full on nsfw one, like gut rearranging, carnal fucking, hardcore banging,, ok ill stop. But I do need to do more,, uh, "research" on that,, i swear it's research, i have no clue how im gonna draw it. Hell, I already struggle with drawing people fucking and imagine adding cool transitions to that. Guess even my masochistic tendencies extend to this shit too.

And I think that's pretty much it? I'll probably just stick to b and w or monotone with a few accent colors because i just know that it would break me if i did a fully colored one.

Okay, thank you for reading this ramble, I'll go ahead and answer some asks now,, Here's your prize though!

[lochrannn]

Hi!

So I’m writing a fanfic rn where post s2 the sibs go on a road trip. There’s no kugelblitz or anything like that. It’s basically the s1 timeline. However, I want to put Lila in it. The only problem is that the s3 events are what lead to her character growth (doesn’t kill Five because they have to work together to stop the kugelblitz, comes back to the academy because the briefcase won’t work and to drop off Stan, doesn’t hold a grudge against Diego because of the kugelblitz, tells the whole pregnancy thing to Diego because of the kugelblitz). I also don’t really want Stan to be in this fic. 

Ok, so I guess my question is, how would I insert Lila into this fic without having her kill five, hold a huge grudge against Diego, or bring Stan into it?

Thank you so much! I'm posing this question to as many tua moots as possible and I understand if you don’t want to answer because this is a loaded question. 

Hey, I think it's pretty cool, you're thinking through your options and hearing some viewpoints to get a wider picture of what your options are. And because you are (hopefully) going to get a few perspectives, I'm going to give you my personal assumptions as bluntly as I'm thinking of them and not fearing I'm going to end up unduely influencing you.

I think the one premise that you're "wrong" about and that will maybe put a different light on the other levels, is that Lila holds a grudge against Diego.

I don't believe that she does. I think that she is bitter and sad and bereft and angry (yes also with Diego) when she leaves the barn, but the only one she's potentially holding a grudge against is Five.

She murders her way into the commission just to see Diego's face. She loves him dearly and all her bravado and played up irritation with him in S3 is out of fear that he might not accept her and especially her with a little extra on board.

There's a great fic by Gin_Juice on AO3* where they work through the tension of Lila loving Diego, being Lila nevertheless and being extremely skittish about being honest/making herself vulnerable like that/trust and resulting commitment issues (although, I've never personally thought or read a fic I liked, where Lila actually distrusted Diego, I just think she thinks he has no reason to take her and the family she brings on. From her perspective she can't concieve of that) and all that against the fact that she has an intense desire to murder Five, violently.

But my personal assumption of Lila is that the version we see of her in most of season 2, snarky, a bit goofy, slightly overwhelmed by the amount she feels for Diego, but pleased he feels the same, here for some good back chat, is who she really is. Not this ball of pent up anger that she is in 2x10.

Yes, I think she will always have trouble to forgive Five but I think she can come to a point where she will understand that he was more of an instrument and the one responsible was the Handler and weighed against an eternal grudge against someone who is roughly as responsible for her parents death as a random natural catastrophy, and getting a chance to live a happy (if likely chaotic) family life with Diego, more often than not, I think she'd chose the latter.

She would defeintely have been able to choose differently to hold on to her grudge and drown in her anger and grief, but the opposite is just as possible.

And holding on to that, a) Diego and her family with him is at the end worth swollowing some of her anger, and b) she comes to the uneasy acceptance that Five is not responsible for her parents' death(she can still hate hims, Jesus, that has never stopped the Hargreeves from being a family), and then I think she can be a fun, chaotic part of the family who sill merry make Five's life hell (he'll do his best to pretend it doesn't bother him) and Diego's too (he'll live for it).

*Gin_Juice's fic is about a bunch of things, not focused on the Diego/Lila of it all, and comes with my highest recommendation and admiration!

Hope this helps 😅

[pikechris]

people are sometimes surprised when I say that I actually like my job in a service station deli. well first of all this is ireland, 98% of customer interactions are polite and pleasant and the worst thing that can happen to me personally is when we get a bus full of teenagers who want chicken fillet rolls. or even worse, two in one day. happened this tuesday. but also i've found that it's actually perfect for my autism/adhd brain because:

I do the same things every day. there are tasks that have to be done every day and tasks that have to be done every week on a specific day. perfect. it's the thing others complain about the most, but me? just how I prefer it

constantly moving and doing something is what keeps me stimulated and staves off boredom aka the worst feeling ever. it gets pretty busy sometimes, which, ideal! I haven't had to touch a stim toy for MONTHS because I put all that excess energy to violently scrubbing dishes

I'm honestly the perfect employee because when I happen to have nothing to do I look for things to clean and tidy and shit and if that doesn't help I ask the manager for extra tasks to keep those hands occupied lol

re: previous point. I'm Fast so I always do everything that needs to be done, too. mostly because my brain takes the rules seriously and when the paperwork says I have to do something. well then I'll bloody well do it won't I. it says it right there. they like me because they know I'm reliable unlike the students who do weekends and even exceed expectations sometimes hah

clear instructions, love em. here I always know what to do and how to do it

the customer interactions follow a similar pattern and are almost always the same so I know what to say and ask and it's not stressful

sometimes people ask me where to find things and such and I Iove a) knowing things and being somebody who knows them and b) telling people about something I know, so it doesn't bother me

there's a whole bunch of safety compliance paperwork tasks like taking temperatures of food every hour that everyone finds annoying. but I love numbers and measuring things and statistics!! it's like ooh I wonder what's the temperature of this soup?? and then I stick a probe in there and find out and write it down! neat. tracking how quickly things cool down in the hot counter is entertaining

there's always 50 things to do at once. I will start 10 at a time. it works out fine. I can check the task list to see if I did it and tick it off. adhd kept in check ✓

others repeat the customers' orders to them to make sure they're getting it right so when I do it because echolalia & needing it to process the information, it goes unnoticed!!

I hate silence so the constant noise of the ovens and the radio and such are a good background noise. plus no one minds when I sing along to the radio as a stim because everyone does it, which is also why I feel safe enough to do so in the first place

no seriously doing stuff gives me energy, so I'm not tired after an 8.5 hour shift (this is even an observation others have made) and still can do the shopping, cook dinner, cook lunch for next day and be busy until midnight. something I couldn't do when studying, which was an energy drainer. huh

(I haven't had this much energy and motivation to do things since I was a CHILD. I'm not joking. I also haven't had a shutdown or anxiety attack or even a bad day in ages since I moved and started working. lying in bed depressed and feeling like I can't breathe? don't know her. also I can actually fall asleep immediately. my brain just shuts down. a feeling I haven't known for years. what is this magic)

I get to put things in the oven and make pizzas and bread and scones from scratch and generally do things I like and am good at and get paid for it! fuck yeah baking!!

I get to clean and put things in order and organise stock and the cold room and freezers and implement Systems and make things Full and GET PAID FOR IT

regular shifts 10-18, perfect, I don't have to get up too early either. allows for going to sleep at midnight and still getting the sweet eight hours

everybody is kind of doing their own thing most of the time and we're all busy so I'm not required to talk to my coworkers if I don't want to. but I can if I do. we all get along well. also good

sometimes I have an issue remembering how many fillings I put in that person's wrap if I wasn't paying that much attention but it's fine, if I charge them 40c less no one will know. there is no failing and no points deducted for a wrong answer. it's chill, no anxiety induced

I'm mostly on my own from 11:30ish until the end, the deli is my kingdom, I make the decisions, no one is in the way, I like it. I like it less when it's busy but I'm capable of handling it either way so eh *shrug*

i have a very good memory (when I do pay attention) so when there are regulars who order the same one or two things I remember them fast and now it's like. white wrap, peppers and plain chicken? and they're like. yeah!! :) I get to make someone happy with something so simple :)

sometimes people eat truly bizarre sandwiches and stuff and I get to internally laugh and/or wonder what the fuck is that. sometimes we actually do laugh about it after. it's fun

I'm also apparently the best new person they've ever had in this shop because I learn extremely fast so that's nice to hear lmao

i easily follow safety regulations such as wearing gloves at all times because dirty dishes and wet bits of food in the sink and raw meat and greasy utensils and sticky bread dough and the inside of the oven mitts are yucky to touch so that's another win-win for them and me

if not the company owner then at least the shop and deli managers are amazing. they will tell you to take any wastage you want without paying for it (because that is a stupid rule that exists that everyone thinks is nonsense and ignores. what's the difference if an out of date bag of crisps goes in the bin or is eaten?) just don't tell the boss, and will go out for drinks with you, and act like normal human beings who are a delight to work with

as a christmas bonus we all got a €50 one4all gift card which everyone thought was sort of shite and useless but are you kidding me? that means a free coffee machine. I got a free coffee machine with it. and a big discount on noise-cancelling wireless earbuds that are actually good and have a long battery life. amazing I'm telling you

yes we get the minimum wage but as someone who never worked or had much money I can live so well off of it? i can comfortably pay for rent and electricity and two grocery shoppings a week that aren't cheap, put a bunch aside, buy some treats online when I feel like it, go places every other week, and still have enough left. I flew to london in december just because. spent £130 on a concert ticket to the o2. I visit places that are a bit further away and stay a night or two once a month. I feel like I eat like a king when I have stuff like homemade bread with avocado spread, homemade cake, fresh strawberries and stuff for breakfast all the time. and that's just for cleaning and making sandwiches?? it sometimes feels unreal to me that I do it for money at all. it's like. housework. things I do anyway all the time at home. I have no reason to complain lol

anyway this is just how I personally feel :') but yeah I like working? who'd have thought. not me. I also feel like I'm the only one there who does. or anywhere really. because I'm so used to retail and service jobs being connected with annoyance and hate and doing them out of necessity etc etc... so I wanted to share that little bit of positive experience I guess. and needed to rant about it somewhere.

is it weird that working 42 hours a week in a shop improved my mental health? probably. but I also get it and can't believe I didn't figure it out earlier because. it's the moving lads. I'm in a constant state of busy. once I stop doing things and start lying in bed all day it goes downhill and the energy and motivation don't come back. but now? that's impossible. even on weekends. I can't put off the ironing because I need the uniform. I have to cook because I can't live on cheese toasties and the veg in the fridge is gonna go off if I don't use it. I have to travel because there's nothing to do in town except lying in bed all day. and once I make a Plan, not even the rain or having to get up at 6:30 to catch the morning bus stops me from following it. and I don't mean that in a stressful grind culture way, I mean it in a helpful actually-it's-pretty-slow-and-quiet way! I found a way of hacking the executive dysfunction completely by accident here and. it's a job

[heronchildlove]

does me feeling like the writing of kits death was too jarring and rushed and unfinished mean that im stupid, an asshole, annoying, and can't read? it was just my first impression when i read it, it felt very off and i assumed it was okay for me to feel that way, im sorry if that's hurting people's feelings

You can feel however way you want, but feelings being "valid" doesn't mean they are always right and justifiable, that's not how that works, and it specially doesn't mean you get to make it anyone else's problem or hurt others because of them.

Specifically, in this case, it means that if you have a negative or hateful opinion about something other people love based on your own arbitrary preferences, then you either keep it to yourself or you discuss it in your private DMs/group chats with your friends. You do NOT post it on the tags where people go to find content and art about things they love and which make them happy.

Do you go up to a stranger on the street wearing a band tshirt and just randomly tell them the band sucks and that you hate all their songs and that they did x and y wrong because you think they should have done a and b instead? Or do you climb the stage on a theatre after everyone clapped to talk in front of the audience about how the play sucks and the actors are bad? No, because that would be insanely rude, uncalled for and an asshole move. So why do you all think it's ok to do it online?

I hate plenty of books or authors or a bunch of anything too and you will never know, because I make a point of not being an asshole and not ruining the fun of others and not ruining things for people which they love and which make them happy.

So, you have all the right to be sad a character died, that is not the problem, but if you are one of the people that have been pestering and flooding the tags with negativity and hate and stupid inflammatory takes, then, yes, I do think you are a stupid asshole and I hate you, actually, and no amount of "but my feelings :(" is gonna make me think otherwise, because you all hurt OUR feelings (the feelings of people that just want to be happy with something they love) first, and constantly, and unnecessarily, because you could have kept your negativity and hate to yourselves, but no, you made a conscious choice to be assholes about it instead.

And then you say "sorry if that's hurting people's feeling"? Of course it is! What else did you think was going to happen? How many more people have to post about being upset or taking a break from tumblr because of all the negativity for you all to get a clue and stop?

And yes, I do think the content of those posts is stupid, because if you: a) somehow missed the whole point of tlh (and tda, its connected story) being about the pointless destruction and pain brought on by revenge quests, grief turned into madness, and war; b) expect a narrative to change povs or halt completely to acknowledge every-single-person-that-was-close-to-a-character-that-died's thoughts and feelings; and c) somehow missed all the on the page shown examples of the characters grieving over kit AND all the subtext of the way his death completely altered the narrative and all the character's actions from that point on (for example, what do you all think Anna being so Determined To Die to beat the shit out of all the possessed brothers and sisters herself was if not her being unable to process her grief and powerlessness to save Kit and channeling it into rage, revenge and self-destruction instead?), then the only conclusion I can come to is that you don't know how books or stories work and don't know how to read or to interpret text.

And, again, that's not anyone else's problem, it's a you problem, so we are back to: keep your hateful and negative takes to yourself/your friends and stop bothering everyone else and ruining good things for people that love them.

So, to reiterate my tags: can you all annoying assholes shut up with your idiot posts about this now?

[captain-astors]

8, 16, 30, 43 for Furutui please 💜

Creatures.

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

Subconsciously, the fact that the other cares whatsoever. They're incredibly accustomed to being unloved, and though they wouldn't admit that there's any genuine feeling to this (however sparse) they both like that part quite a lot. In a very fucked up way they keep each other going.

Consciously, they reason it out as the fact that the spontaneous nature of it makes them feel alive, in a time of otherwise just getting from point A (right now) to point B (death).

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

(I already did 16 so, I asked my friend for a random number between 8 and 30, he gave me 13. Hopefully that's fine.)

They aren't apart very frequently due to their positions, but Koori doesn't actually care that much besides the vague repressed notion that his distraction is gone, and it feels worse. Furuta feels slightly bored and pesters him over the phone occasionally, sometimes with actual work stuff, but mostly with random bullshit. However, he's busy too so for the most part they wait it out. Calling each other just to talk implies they care, and as far as they'll acknowledge, they don't!

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

I know very little about love languages when it comes to trying to assign them to people (Mostly because mine is just "anything but touch unless we're really close" and I can't fathom preferring one), and it's complicated by the fact that Furuta's kind of just a bunch of layers of bullshit carefully painting over and piloting a person who's been dead for years. I can still try but I just wanted to provide an explanation.

Koori expresses mainly through acts of service, He likes receiving the same, along with physical touch. Furuta mostly just mirrors this back because that's what he's used to doing in relationships, he approaches them like an annoyingly advanced chatbot with a secret goal to tick you off. All the right answers and very little genuine personality until he feels like chipping at that person to see how long it takes them to be annoyed, but Koori tends to see through that to some extent actually and it bothers him. With time he probably leans more into simple spending time together and words of affirmation. It works out decently because, to put it bluntly, they don't care how their weird little imitation goes as long as they don't have to admit that any of it is genuine.

43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?

Hm... They wear uniforms pretty much every time we see them, even Koori's turtleneck is just his uniform without the oversized coat, and it's difficult to gauge based off of Souta's outfit when the whole point is that it's a costume, but I can try. Furuta would probably pick out something with more color that Koori has worn in the last few months cumulatively just to see how it looks, Furuta gets something that actually fits him very well.

[the-firebird69]

I did mention the hotel game that they want to play in the apartment game and really they're a bunch of dicks and assholes and want to put them on the street so I can run around as Street people and bother him and what I'm looking at is they're just trying to make the computer program working it won't I tried to find some sweet spot and there isn't one what he says is if you're holding me I'm going to kill you and he's dying now and if he tries to grab him he's going to break his arms and kill him we just can't watch this show anymore this kid's being tormented and it's illegal everything that they're doing is illegal what he did to me is illegal you can't just point me out and really the empire did it later and they probably had it done but it's blasphemy and it's wrong you're putting me out to the whole world and it reveals something you shouldn't be revealing and now everything is out there and these two idiots are sitting there screaming stuff like they're the heroes where they're huge sinners and massive criminals and our friend here knows all about it and he won't shut the hell up to him and he's like who you trying to impress you're not impressing me or my people they're listening to me they don't listen to you you're a bunch of f***** who s******** and your gay boys who take it in the butt and they know it and you eat meat and you're stuck in disgusting cannibals and they know that too who you trying to fool with all this act that sucks so bad nobody would believe it under any circumstances. And he says that to them and they say the usual b******* but really this is a very bad case these people are spent and they need out. We also expect to go to carry on with this crap but what he's saying is that by Thursday which is really the day that Trump's shares will probably be 20 or 25% and it doesn't carry any weight at all

Tommy f

By Thursday we anticipate him to be at 20% or less and he will not have much power here. Right now you see a lot of people walking around with these badges and necklaces or whatever they are and they're saying that they're trumpsters and come to find out that only a portion of them are and it's about 30% and that's about how many shares he has and he's going to drop and he's going to drop a lot of them on Monday and it'll probably be losing people here it's probably not going to be proportional and yeah he does not have control here he has a bunch of people the staff there's probably 50% trumpsters at any time and that's a lot and it makes a difference and they're a bunch of morons who would probably push into a different place and keeping in mind our son can go to a regular hotel if you had to for a few days but really he can go to the apartment and these guys know it and they want to try and push him there to go back there they've been trying to do it the whole time and they're just freaking idiots and a sun says I don't really want to get sick like you people are and your fools and Dave is saying I sort of get that and he can't really figure it out it says the bleach burns the Celia so you start to understand it's just a matter of science and he looked at it and he said it's true and he didn't talk about it no he did and other people said it's true and they're all waiting for it and he's saying these people are the ones doing it I said yeah there's a bunch of them doing it they're acting like they don't know Florida at all and there's a lot of people who are doing that at the shelter and it was a real annoying thing and they're fighting about it the Charlotte county disaster people in Red Cross Red Cross finally said look it's a disaster it's huge up in Tampa it's a complete loss and they they're saying it to them everyday we need you to shut up your f****** stupid this place is a disaster you're not doing anything and we're writing it up to the federal government and we're going to have them come down here and take over cuz your pieces of s*** and they wrote it up and the Red Cross is going to try and take over because it's a nightmare and nothing's getting done and he says it's the garbage and the reconstruction and it's more than disaster relief it's also been declared a state of emergency and the federal government should have the national guard come down and move this s*** out of here and you can do that and he said it said Terry cheesman and Jim and those guys did send a suggestion no but really the national guard could come in and start working because that's what they should be doing and they really need to this place is a mess this s*** everywhere hazards and it's a hazard with fire and it's a hazard with bugs and other animals so we're going to print but we do think that our son will be probably at this hotel here because by the 14th Trump will not have much power and their positions here will be replaced and they're going to be trying to push him out and everyone will see it and hear it and I'm trying to push him out because they'll be removed and Trump does stuff like that but with the people here that have confidence to keep him here and they're gaining they'll say and they are and they're going to keep them out and force the shares out of them of Allegiant Air which they need and they need to have some more shares in the small amount and they're going for it and they're going to try and keep them they want to be up to about 15% at least and it fighting like hell for it and it's minority more luck and the other guys are selling so it's not like the huge deal and they don't like them for just giving up more shortly

Thor Freya

This place is difficult to the pain but the other hotel is a dive and it might not be a healthy building and the apartment is not healthy right now

Hera

Olympus

[mr-snailman]

Fanfic Writer Questions

yo thanks for the tag @fruitysalamander1398

tbh I feel a little weird answering these cause I am really NOT much of a writer lmao... but I'll give it my best shot

How many works do you have on AO3?

4

(and less if you're only counting the finished ones ;-;)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

37,236

3. What fandoms do you write for?

generally speaking if I'm gonna write fic for something I just take one google doc and exorcise all my thoughts and feelings in there... so far I've published fic for the Philip Marlowe novels, Footloose, Cabin in the Woods, and the Outsiders. I've got unfinished scraps lying around for Watching the Detectives, the Monument Mythos, Class... and probably a few others.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uh. well.

Fortunate Sons

2. an honest-to-god star in the age of airplanes

3. Heaven Helps the Man

4. Love is the Thing With Fins

5. Do you respond to comments?

YES. If you leave me a comment I will a) get back to you b) reread it every now and then and c) treasure your kind words forever.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

haha... well.. my track record would indicate that I'm pretty bad at writing endings, period -_- but it's probably The Derivatives of Affection, an unfinished work for Class (1983), a shitty sex comedy in which Rob Lowe runs around in bright-red lace. It's a bunch of sad reflections on falling for your best friend while encouraging him to get laid elsewhere, only for a terrible coincidence to create a rift between you that you'll never be able to close.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fortunate Sons, hands down.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Never. The whole idea seems really strange to me... like I'm sure it does happen but I can't imagine why someone would bother to leave a hate comment instead of just... clicking the back button?

9. Do you write smut, and if so, what kind?

Not successfully LMAO. I've made a few... attempts... but circumstances always seem to get in the way.

10. Do you write crossovers, and what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not in a long time. I was... 10 or so? and my best friend and I were coming up with a comic book series that borrowed characters from the edges of a whole bunch of completely unrelated books and movies. Lil bro if you're out there I look back on that fondly + wish you well.

Kind of tempted to do something with The Martian X Good Will Hunting... but that'll probably end up as art if it hits the page at all. Oh, and the unnamed nurse in Fortunate Sons is absolutely supposed to be Margaret Houlihan, but that's never explicitly stated XD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, thank god.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I have done some anonymous translation for other people's work though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

...yes? I heavily edited aforementioned childhood best friend's Wings of Fire fanfic, which turned into him writing the action and me frantically trying to insert descriptions. good times.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ah, that's hard. all-time? well... you know what, I'm gonna go with Philip Marlowe/Red Norgaard. first fic I ever published, and I've read everything else in the tag... all five of them XD. It's the tenderness, found in the most unexpected places, it's the jaded private detective finally letting himself fall into the arms of the kindest man he knows, it's a chance meeting turning into the luckiest accident you've ever had.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Heaven Helps the Man... I love you and I'm so sorry ;-; maybe someday! maybe someday I'll finally have the time to do you justice

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good with imagery that feels alive. It's definitely my favorite part of writing. The trick is that I don't invent everything from whole-cloth. It's a boardwalk I've stood on, whispering sharp-edged tallgrass I remember from a childhood trip to the beach, a neon sign I glimpsed through the rain once, the IHOP where I had a panic attack XD ... the rest just sort of builds from there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

finishing things... I call it the thirty-two page curse :(

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

Never had occasion to do it but it'd be fun for sure! I do think it's fun when the author gives you a thread to follow, something to google in another tab, so you can come back and go ahhhh. It would really be interesting to do something with Spanish, cause I do speak it pretty well. I had an original story about a road trip down the Chilean coastline with spies and mathematicians that unfortunately fell victim to the curse, but maybe I'll dig it out again sometime and see how bad my grammar was XD

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Like, ever? Stan Lee's Zodiac Legacy trilogy. Handwritten in a pocket-size black sketchbook, sometimes in the dark after lights-out, so it's practically illegible in places. My mom read it and said "you should publish this" which is how I discovered ff.net... and the rest is history

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hmmm... I am really, really proud of Fortunate Sons, don't get me wrong, but an honest-to-god star will always have a special place in my heart. Phil Marlowe as a character is really important to me, and it was so exciting to get to play with Chandler's style.

I... just tagged a bunch of you for something else and I'm kind of shy to do it again so soon. Consider this an open call! If any of you write, go ahead and tag me so I can see your answers <3

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

I am so beyond excited it's finally here (even though I've already read it), because now I get to tell you exactly what I think of it in front of all of Tumblr, and I am hyped!!!!!

First of all: I still can't believe that me asking for a biker sandwich turned into this. When I asked you that, I expected a threesome, not this adorable little polycule, and I am so beyond fucking grateful for it! 🥺❤️

And you didn't just give me this goodness, you gave me 10k worth of it! Again: eternally grateful! Thank you bestie!!! ❤️

I know you struggled to write this, but it turned out to be so goddamn beautiful! (Now that I know wonderful things happen outside of your comfort zone, you better watch out 😈)

Now, let's get in there. Let's really get in there!!! Because it deserves it!!!

Spoilers under the cut

Now, for that first bit... (We're gonna be quoting a lot of stuff later, don't worry!) You know I hate angst. (For someone who hates angst, I sure write a lot of it, I know...)

And I hated this angst more than anything because the whole time I'm sitting here like: "YOU ALL LIKE EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING RIDICULOUS BUNCH OF RIDICULOUS FUCKS, NOW KISS!"

But nooooooo you had to go out and make me wait like... what? 5000 words?? Until that finally happened????

Now... Let's take a look at my favorite bits, okay?

So you got up and walked into the woods, trying to bring yourself to reason.

I still think 'bringing yourself to reason' is an interesting way of saying 'jerking off'. Just saying.

You changed into dry clothes, but the guys decided to just switch to new shorts, neither of them bothering to put on a shirt.

NO. I want to thank you for the mental image BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I STILL WON'T GET DICK FOR SO LONG IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! I HATE YOU (affectionate)

You even arranged some fairy lights on the ceiling, making it look more romantic and comfy.

Did I ever tell you about my insane love for fairy lights, or was this a lucky guess? Literally... The quickest way to my heart is with fairy lights and I love that they're in here... (Please let the big 3 people bed in the end have a metal frame I can wrap fairy lights around... Also very useful for tying people up, just saying.)

“Who the hell bails out of the opportunity to lick you clean?”

Idk? I know I fucking wouldn't??? Bring me those honey-covered abs, boy... Or I'll just lick his dick with no honey involved that's also fine.

“We’re working on it, babe!” he told you with a wink.

adsjkfalsdkfjladjkfl WE SURE ARE NOW!!!!!

You feared you wouldn't find sleep at all, but this storm of feelings had brought exhaustion with it, and you fell asleep shortly after your shameful rapture.

You know I think this is a great line, and I know I already squealed over it when I read this for the first time, but adlskfja;ldkf I love this so much!!!!!

This pained expression in his eyes, full of longing and desire, it wasn't meant for you. It was all for Mike.

Poor little baby... Let Mike kiss it better... NOW!~!!!! (But noooooooooooooo we're still waiting....)

To your shock, Nina started to laugh. Not the sad, sarcastic chuckle you deserved but her bright, joyful laughter that made you call her your ray of sunshine.

Melot... Such a masochistic, hurt little puppy... This just actually feels so fucking in character for him it's not even funny. It's okay, Mel, you can't help it... You don't deserve anything bad, even if I wasn't on board with this 🥺❤️❤️

“If we’re lucky, we can share our love. And if we aren’t, we can share our heartache."

10/10, love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You bit down a sarcastic chuckle. "You are already doing too much."

I already squealed over this one as well.... adsl;kfjas;ldk It's so good. A) Sarcastic chuckles are my favorite. B) It's such a don't-take-this-hint-please kind of hint... I bet if anyone had asked him what he meant he would have responded with a sulky 'doesn't matter' or 'nevermind' and have stomped off like an angry teenager.

That’s when Mel rushed forward. His mouth was on Mike’s before you could even blink. It looked awkward, there were noses brushing against each other, teeth clicking, as they were trying to find the right position, but in the end it was the sweetest kiss you had ever witnessed.

AWKWARD FIRST BOY KISS HECK YEAH!!!!! I love this so much. And I'm so glad you put it in there. It's like... Such a sweet first kiss, and so much to worry about and everyone's a li'l insecure about it and whatnot... I love it, it's great <3

Turning your attention to Nina, you pulled on the strings to undo her bikini top and both Mike and you grabbed a handful of her tits.

Well yes.... They did that. They really just... And nobody expected anything else, right? And if they did expect something else.... Well that's on them, then.

"This is heaven! Boobies and dick, all for me!" You were totally in love with this stupid dork.

Oh, Mikey...... *shakes head* *also grins like crazy*

Wait? Did you have two boyfriends now? Didn’t matter.

YES IT DOES MATTER!!!!! AND YES. MINE. BOTH MINE. ALL MINE. MINE.

"Wow, did that hurt? That’s cool! When did you get that? Does it do anything for you during sex? Can I touch it?" she blurted out, making you laugh.

I can't describe how much I love that this actually pretty much verbatim made it in here, because holy mcfucking hell. Like I told you.... I mean who doesn't have this reaction when all of a sudden faced with the first pierced dick they've ever seen? Like??? I mean this is what I would do.

And then that sweet SWEET ending... That's more of a cliffhanger, really...

I am absolutely going to annoy you into the grave about the blowjob contest, and whatever fun little drabble you have planned for the three of us because aldskfja;ldskfj I need more of these boys I just legitimately love them so much and I can't thank you enough for writing this

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Rodent bestie ❤️❤️

Hearts Too Big

Modern AU Melot (Tristan&Isolde) x OFC x Mike (Hellraiser)

summary: Nina goes on a camping trip with her boyfriend Mel and his cute neighbor Mike. Plenty of feelings - that’s the whole plot 

warnings: alcohol and drug use, vaginal fingering, anal fingering (F/M receiving) oral (F/M, M/F, M/M ), vaginal sex, anal sex (F receiving), double penetration

word count: 10,4k (sorry!)

Inspo boards

A/N: I told @raccoon-eyed-rebel (in a tumblr post that I can’t find anymore) that I had plans on making Mikey her partner in Ray Of Sunshine. This exploded into a whole universe of its own in our heads (we share our brains from time to time) and you will get a lot of biker boys in the future because I know Nina won’t stop asking for more. This one got quite big, quite queer and quite Nina-indulgent. It’s Melot and Mikey, it’s bi and it’s polyamorous, so if that’s not for you, feel free to NOT read it. And if that doesn’t draw you off, enjoy!  This one was really hard for me to write, took me a month, I went through highest highs and lowest lows. And I feel both excited and anxious posting it. So please, more than ever, tell me what you think about it! I need feedback for this one, every word from you will mean the world to me!

Not a good idea! Not a good idea at all. Nervously, you gazed at the hands of your boyfriend, drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing. His eyes lit up as he met yours through the rearview mirror, and your heart stopped for a beat. You were still so madly in love with Mel.

But then you turned your head to the passenger seat, where Mikey sat. His feet were folded under his cute butt as he tried to make sense of the map that lay in his lap. 

You had really tried not to crush on him. But soon after he moved into the apartment next to Mel, you knew you had no chance. It was absolutely impossible not to fall for him. Which meant you were screwed. Well, until yesterday you had at least thought you were safe, just ogling Mike from afar and maybe sometimes including him in your little daydreams. Until Mel told you about that ugly break up between Mike and his boyfriend that had left him crying in the hallway. Mel wanted to cheer him up. They had become friends and Mel wanted to be there for him. And this meant Mel asked you to take Mike with you on your trip along the coast. 

You had been planning it for weeks. Mel had bought the old camper van, you both spent your free time working on it to make it more comfy. You had planned every segment of the trip. And most of all, you had planned where you wanted to fuck. Because, to be honest, the main purpose of this whole trip was to fuck Mel the whole day and night everywhere you were going to stop. That wouldn’t be happening now.

You said no at first. Not only because you would rather not cancel the main activity that you had planned, even more so because you were panicking at the thought of having to spend days in a small car together with those two. You wouldn’t be able to hide how much you were attracted to Mike. And you couldn’t hurt Mel. 

In the end, your brain decided to stop working when Mel gave you this look of a sad puppy that you could never resist and you agreed. Mel had asked Mike to join you and the boys were soon making the last preparations for your tour. You sat next to them and just watched them talking and laughing. Yes, you were definitely screwed. All you could think of was kissing them. Both! 

You stared at the map in front of you. Not that you really tried to find the right direction. You just needed to keep your eyes from Mel and Nina. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea to agree to join them. But to be fair, you hadn’t had your best day yesterday. Why did you just always manage to destroy every relationship you had? You really liked Will. You tried to make it work. But Will soon got jealous. And rightfully so. Why couldn’t you just stop thinking about others? About Mel. About Nina. Your heart was just too big for one person. 

However, going on a trip with the exact two people who were, unbeknownst to them, responsible for your break-up, was probably one of the worst decisions you had ever made. Now it was too late. Somehow you were going to make it work. Hopefully, without making a fool of yourself and without ruining another relationship. 

A hand brushing over your thigh got you out of your thoughts. You sucked in some air in surprise and raised your gaze to Mel. 

“Could you please hand me a bottle of water, Mike?” Mel looked at you, and it took you a second to comprehend that you were supposed to do something. Right! Getting some water for Mel. You turned to the back of the van, where Nina’s head was sunken onto the side of the car. She looked too cute, her mouth slightly open as she was sleeping. Now that explained why Mel had asked you for water and not Nina who was sitting next to the cooler. You needed to crawl back to reach it. And as you did so you couldn’t hold yourself back, you brushed some strands of hair from Nina’s face, your fingers lingering probably a little too long on her soft skin.

As you handed the water to Mel, your hands touched for a moment. Your heart dropped a beat and there was this fluttery feeling in your stomach that you knew far too well. Oh no, it was getting worse. You were going to fuck this up badly.

You couldn’t be happier. You exchanged looks with Nina, sitting in the back seat, humming along with the music. Then you moved your head to watch Mike as he ruffled his nose, scanning the map. You had no idea why Mike was so focused on the map at all, you knew the directions you had to take. But you didn’t complain because you really liked how your friend looked so much happier than he had yesterday. Something about seeing Mike next to you made you feel excited, you just couldn’t put your finger on what it was exactly.

You stopped around midday at a small parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Nina had told you that there had to be a beautiful lake with a waterfall nearby, and you decided that this should be the spot to take your lunch break. The three of you packed some food and water in your backpacks and went on your way to find the lake. It took you only a few minutes of walking. Nina spread a blanket on the grass, and you all sat down cross-legged, munching on your sandwiches. Mikey jabbered without a pause, making Nina laugh. You leaned back onto your arms and closed your eyes, taking in the warmth of the sunlight, the smell of moss and wood, the gurgling sounds of the waterfall, Mike’s deep voice and your girlfriend’s bright laughter. It was just perfect. 

After you had finished your lunch, Nina took off her shoes and strode along the way through the shallow waters on the shore. You took the opportunity alone with Mike to check on him. The whole day you had been wondering if he was doing okay. Well, as okay as someone could be the day after they got their heart broken. He was a lot calmer than usual, and you really hoped that he didn’t regret coming with you. You put your hand on Mike’s shoulder. “How are you? Can you cope with me and Nina?” You nodded over to your girlfriend who was trying to make pebbles jump over the water. 

Mike looked at you through his lashes and smiled. Or attempted to smile because somehow it looked odd. Not his usual cute beam.

Fuck! What were you supposed to say? ‘I’m falling hard for you AND your girlfriend?’ That wouldn’t be smart. So you just nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I really appreciate that you try to distract me. And it’s working.” Working a little too well, to be fair. You turned to watch Nina. She was so cute, attempting to skip stones over the surface of the lake. And she was giving you a nice view every time she bent down to grab another pebble. You’d better get back to Mel. He was watching his girlfriend, too and the look on his face was just so adorable, you could kiss him right here and now. Damn it, Mikey, what made you think spending a whole weekend with the two of them would be anything but a disaster? You were desperately trying to think of something else when a gush of cold water startled you, making you and Mel both jump up in surprise. Nina was snickering, proud of herself for making both men scream like school girls. But as you started to run into the lake, she screamed herself and tried to get away from you. Mel followed foot and you both chased her down, ending up in a tangle of limbs and giggles when both of you finally lunged for her. 

When you stood up again, all three of you were laughing and spluttering. And your heart was about to burst. Having them both in your arms was just the best feeling ever. 

If you didn’t want to wreck another relationship, you had to retreat. You stepped back, waddling towards the shore and sat down on the grass. A heavy lump formed in your stomach as you watched Mel and Nina. They were laughing and kissing and running their hands all over each other’s bodies. It was the most beautiful thing ever and yet, it crushed you to look at it. 

You pulled your wet shirt over your head and dropped it next to you. Mel and Nina’s kisses were getting more intense and your body reacted to it. Carefully you tried to adjust your pants, which wasn’t really successful as they were dripping wet, too. So you got up and walked into the woods, trying to bring yourself to reason.

You had noticed that Mike was leaving you alone, and you wondered what he was thinking. It wasn’t very empathetic of Mel and you to give Mike such a show while he was trying to get over his heartache. It was just so hard not to get handsy with Mel when he was standing so close to you, completely wet.

You pushed Mel away from diving his head into your cleavage. He pouted at you but as he saw the concerned look on your face, he understood. 

“We better get going,” he just said and turned to walk back to the shore. He was still hard, and you just hated to see him leave like this, but you knew it was the right thing to do. When you had packed everything, Mike was back too, and you headed back to the van.

You changed into dry clothes, but the guys decided to just switch to new shorts, neither of them bothering to put on a shirt.

Great! So now you were not only stuck with your boyfriend and your crush, no, now you had to endure them half naked for the rest of your ride. Which luckily didn’t take too long, and somewhere along the way you even managed to think of something other than being sandwiched between the two of them. 

You had picked out a small secluded cove for the stop of the night. Mel and Mike went to gather some wood for a campfire. Meanwhile, you rearranged the van to build comfortable beds for Mel and you and Mike. The pop top roof was meant to be your bedroom and Mike got the back of the van to himself. You even arranged some fairy lights on the ceiling, making it look more romantic and comfy. 

As the boys got back, you all worked together to make yourself some pasta for dinner. And after that, you spent the evening at the fire, talking and laughing. 

At some point, Mel took his guitar and started to play. You leaned your head on his shoulder and stretched your legs over Mikey’s thighs. You didn’t even think about what you were doing. It just felt natural and somehow domestic. 

After two beers and a shared joint, Mike got all talkative again, telling you the most ridiculous stories about his love life. You hung on every word he spoke, and Mel did the same. You cuddled together around the fire and everything just felt perfect.

“And then I rubbed a whole glass of honey all over my body, from my neck down to my toes. I was completely covered with that sticky mess. Don’t ask me what I was thinking because I wasn’t! And then she sent me a text that she wouldn’t come over. So, I had ruined my phone, and it took me the entire night to get myself and the bedroom rid of that sticky shit. Advice from me: Don’t overdo things for food play!” You giggled. “Who the hell bails out of the opportunity to lick you clean?” The words were out of your mouth before you could think. You bit your lip in regret, but the guys just laughed at your comment.

Mike cocked his head. “I think I am talking way too much. What about your most stupid sex accidents? I want to hear, please!” Mike was just as successful as Mel at making the most adorable puppy eyes as he looked at you two.

Mel snorted: “Not nearly as entertaining as yours, Mike, but I once tried my best to show my dominance and threw that girl onto the bed only to break my toe on the bed frame the next second. So I was curled on the floor, crying like a baby, instead of manhandling her. Ruined the mood pretty quickly!” All three of you chuckled at that before the eyes of both boys turned to you expectantly.

You turned away shyly, not wanting to appear boring. “I don’t really have anything to tell,” you admitted. “I am not that experienced in this area.” You felt the heat crawling up your neck and ears.

Mel sensed your discomfort and pulled you closer in his arms. “We’re working on it, babe!” he told you with a wink

You knew it wasn't going to be easy. But in no way had you expected how much this whole trip would mess with your heart. There was only so much longing a man could handle. And this was too much. 

You had to focus on every word, on every movement tonight, not to let the affection you felt for Mel and Nina show. Maybe you weren't trying hard enough. The way your heart started racing when Nina put her feet in your lap. And the way Mel looked into your eyes as you tried to hide your feelings by telling all these stupid stories. Surely, they must have seen how much you felt for them?

As you lay in your bed and stared into the darkness, you debated with yourself whether you should open up about your feelings. But did you really want to risk your friendship? Their relationship? No, you had to suffer in silence.

You chuckled sadly as you recognized the sounds coming from the roof. They were trying to be quiet. But of course, they couldn't be so careful that they were completely silent while fucking in an old camper van. There were the creaks of the old vehicle, the stifled moans, the small giggles. You imagined what it would be like to join them. It wasn't difficult, you had pictured them in your head before. And after this day, where you were able to watch them and feel them… It was easy. 

Your hand slipped into your boxers. It wrapped around your hard cock, and you started to stroke yourself slowly, with a tight grip. It was hardly enough to still your desire, but you could at least ease a little of the tension that had been building up the whole day. Nina’s small whimpers shot straight into your guts. 

Then there was this grunt that must have escaped Melot's lips. You tried to hold back your own sounds of pleasure as you rubbed your thumb over your leaking tip, spreading the beads of pre-cum all over your dick. You thought of how their bodies slammed into each other. How Nina's wonderful tits bounced as Mel rutted into her. You pictured yourself being part of it. How you would lap at her core, how you would kiss him and let him taste his girlfriend on your tongue. How you would tremble when his hands finally touched you. 

Shit, you had lost all control, panting heavily as you looked down at the mess you had made all over your chest. Surely, you had been too loud. 

But you could still hear them. Maybe they hadn't noticed, in their own euphoria.

You feared you wouldn't find sleep at all, but this storm of feelings had brought exhaustion with it, and you fell asleep shortly after your shameful rapture.

You almost fell asleep at the fire, snuggled against Mel and Mike. You felt so happy, so cared for. Your heart was full, it felt…complete.

Mel had taken you back to bed at some time. And as you climbed up to the mattress on the roof you were immediately awake again, hungry for Mel's touch. You needed him now.

As you pressed your palm against the semi hard cock in his boxers, he hissed. 

“We need to be quiet!” he told you, only to groan once more, when your fingers circled over the sensitive spot on his frenulum. Happy to draw this reaction out of him, you giggled.

You freed his cock, which was far from semi by now. His boxers were already ruined from the pre-cum that leaked from his slit.

With soft, open-mouthed kisses you descended from Mel's lips, moving over his whole chest until you reached your destination. Your tongue darted out to lick at what was left of the salty evidence of his arousal.

Closing your lips around his swollen tip, you started to move your head up and down, your cheeks hollowed. You would never get used to how good he felt in your mouth. Your hand came to aid, wrapping around his shaft, close to his root and mirroring your movements.

His muscles tensed with every little bit of sensation you gave him. 

The air in the tent was damp, and sweat was running down your spine. You stopped for a moment, thought you heard something, but you didn't notice anything now.

Melot guided you to look at him. He gave you a pleading look and hooked his finger, silently telling you to get up to him.

When your faces were pressed against each other again, he whispered in your ear:

“I need to fuck you so badly, baby!”

You happily obliged and straddled his thighs. It wasn't easy to move in the cramped space of the van. When the car creaked under your actions, you suppressed a giggle. 

After finally finding a comfortable position, you raised your hip and sank down again, this time with Mel’s cock stretching you open.

Both of you needed to move slowly, but after the constant buildup of sexual tension throughout the day, it took little to bring you pleasure. You felt every twitch, every bit of friction inside of you. And when Melot's fingers pinched your sensitive nipples you couldn't hold back some whimpers. 

You looked into Mel's eyes, his face glowing from sweat in the shine of the fairy lights. His self-control was just as close to being shattered as yours. 

Leaning back, you found a new angle that hit you exactly where you needed him. The rhythm to which you moved your hips got faster. You were almost there. Your hand ran up Mel's inner thigh until they reached his balls. They were drenched in your arousal.

He clenched his jaw as you ran your fingers up and down to spread your juices even further. Leaning forwards, you found access to move your fingers briefly between his cheeks.

The sound he made as you slowly brushed over his tight entrance was almost enough to make you cum.

Your eyes met and you shared a small smile. 

Slowing down your rhythm as you tried to catch a breath, you heard him: Stifled moans, coming from below. Your pussy clenched around Mel's cock as you thought about what Mike was doing to himself. 

You had stopped moving but Melot rutted into you, jerking his hips up as hard as he could. 

Mike must have been close now, by now he had completely forgotten to stay calm. Your gaze fell upon Mel and what you saw just turned your whole world upside down. This pained expression in his eyes, full of longing and desire, it wasn't meant for you. It was all for Mike.

As you sat by the fire, you thought about your day, and you came to the conclusion that it was just perfect. Better than it could have been without Mike, like you had originally planned.

No, it felt so good to have him with you. You all had so much fun. 

When you had seen him the day before, curled up on the floor and crying, your heart broke for him. And seeing him now, laughing again. It did something to you: A warm feeling spread in your chest.

But now it was getting late. Mike had already gone to bed and Nina's head lay heavy on your chest now, too. You pulled her in your arms and carried her to the camper. As you stood at the ladder you still wondered how you could get your sleeping girlfriend up to your bed when she stirred in your arms.

“Put me down, Mel, I can walk!” Her voice was husky. You did as she told you, but when she tried to climb the ladder, you had to steady her, putting both your hands on her magnificent ass. Nothing to complain about.

The bed on top of the van was just beautiful. Nina lit up the fairy lights and dragged you down to her. 

She was very much awake again, you noticed, as she pressed her soft body against yours. 

As her hand found its way to your growing erection, you tried your best to keep quiet, not quite successful. It got even harder when she wrapped her beautiful soft lips around your cock. Pressing your heels into the mattress, you focused to keep at least a little composure not to wake Mike.

There was some rumbling down in the van and Nina stopped for a second. 

It was a perfect opportunity to guide her up to you again. You were so desperate to feel her warm, wet pussy around your cock. Luckily, she needed you as much as you needed her. 

She rode you way too slowly. Your dick craved every little bit of movement she gave you. You fought hard not to take over control and fuck her hard. Feeling for her heavy breasts and rolling her hardened buds in your fingers, also wasn't helpful to calm you down. You drank in the picture before you. She was so fucking gorgeous as she rocked her hips.

When she repositioned herself and let her hands run over your thighs, you lost it. Her fingers worked eagerly over all these sensitive spots. Spots where you hadn't been touched before. A loud moan escaped your mouth at the unfamiliar feeling. All this made you feel so needy.

Your eyes shot open as you realized what the sounds you heard, coming from below you, meant. Suddenly, there was this image of Mike in your head. You pictured him pumping his cock. You pictured his face, frowning in effort. You pictured touching him, helping him with his endeavors. Whatever it was that made you feel this way, you couldn't change it. And so, you just accepted it, as you fucked your girlfriend, thinking how desperately you wanted to kiss the man that lay in the bed below you two. 

You stared into the night and listened to the noises that Nina and Mike made in their sleep. You weren’t able to stop thinking. What were you supposed to do?

As you realized that sleep wasn't an option anyway, you decided to get up. Maybe it was easier to form some clear thoughts if you got some fresh air, away from the soft and warm body of the woman you loved.

You carefully climbed down from the roof of your van and sat down by the smoldering fire. 

By now you had accepted that there was more than just friendship you felt for Mike. But you still felt the same deep love for Nina as before. How was this supposed to work? 

There was some rustling and, before you could turn, a pair of hands ran down from your shoulders to your chest. Nina wrapped you in her arms as she sat down behind you.

"We should talk!" she whispered softly in your ear. 

"About what?" Your heart was pounding in your chest. Yet, you still hoped that she wasn’t aware of your feelings.

"About Mike!" Panic started to build in your center. So it was that obvious? After a deep inhale, you turned so you could look at Nina. You took her hands in yours and sighed. How should you even start a conversation like this? 

But you didn't have to search for words as Nina began to speak: "Melot, I saw it. What you feel for him. Your face is like an open book. And it's okay. We can't fight what we feel. Just be honest with me, okay?" She looked at you with a shy smile and big eyes. You swallowed down a sob that tried to escape you. It was never your intention to hurt anyone. But that was probably what was about to happen as soon as you started to speak.

"I didn't know, not until I heard him. And it doesn't change anything I feel for you, babe. I love you!" It sounded ridiculous and yet, it was the truth. 

To your shock, Nina started to laugh. Not the sad, sarcastic chuckle you deserved but her bright, joyful laughter that made you call her your ray of sunshine. 

"Just look at us. So happily in love, and yet we both fall for someone else. For the same guy even." Your eyes widened when you perceived the meaning of Nina's words.

“Wait! What?” you stuttered. “You feel the same? What… What’s wrong with us, Nina?” This whole situation was becoming more and more like a dream. Your whole body was shaking and your eyes searched for Nina’s in hopes that she could somehow help you out of this nightmare.

And she could: “Nothing is wrong with us, Melot. It looks as if our hearts are too big for loving just one person.” She chuckled softly. “There’s enough room for Mike to join.”

Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes as you realized that Nina wasn’t mad at you. That you wouldn’t lose her. Relief rushed through you, it felt like a heavy stone was lifted off your chest. Nina pulled you closer into her embrace and kissed away the tears that had found a way down your cheeks. 

Your voice was still trembling as you dared to speak again: “Nina, I was so scared you’d hate me! I don’t ever want to lose you!” She pressed a firm kiss onto your lips. 

“Melot, you fool, you won’t lose me. I’ve never felt so much for a person as I feel for you.” With more kisses, you tried to calm your overflowing emotions. It took you a while until you finally could get back to talking.

“But what about Mike?” You couldn’t just ignore the affection that you both had for him. 

Nina sighed and with a look on her face that told you she wasn’t nearly as sure about this as it sounded, she said: ”We need to talk to him. We should ask him if he wants to join us”

You shook your head in disbelieve. “Like what? Hey, you wanna fuck my girlfriend - and me?” Your voice cracked as you spoke the last words and panic rose in your chest once more. “Damn, that feels strange! I never…” You couldn’t end the sentence, but Nina knew what you wanted to say anyway. She pulled you closer once more and soothed you with her fingers running through your hair and the warmth of her body pressed against you. When she was convinced that you were as relaxed as one could be, who just found out that they were not as straight as they had always thought they were, she spoke again:

“Let’s take our time and see what happens. Maybe carefully test the waters. See how Mike reacts to us.” A reassuring smile spread over her pretty face. “If we’re lucky, we can share our love. And if we aren’t, we can share our heartache."

You spent way too much time hiding in the van after you woke up, not wanting to see either of them. You feared they had heard you last night and alone by thinking of it, you felt the blood rush through your ears. But that wasn’t the only cause for your retreat. You were sure you couldn’t face another day in their presence. How could you ignore your feelings? You were someone who carried their heart on their sleeve. You were someone who was expressive with their emotions. Keeping them shut away was completely against your nature. 

But, you could brood as long as you wanted, at some point, you couldn’t ignore any longer that you really, really had to pee. 

To your surprise, you found them sleeping, cuddled into blankets at the dying campfire. After you had relieved yourself, you got back to the camp. Melot and Nina were both stirring in their makeshift bed on the grass. You silently turned and decided to get more wood for the fire so you could make some much needed coffee.

When you returned with an armful of branches, Mel and Nina were both awake. They greeted you smiling, and you were grateful that, if they had noticed you tonight, they were kind enough to just ignore it.

Mel helped you to start a new fire and Nina prepared the coffee and cut some fruit.

There was an awkward silence as you all went about your work. But when you sat down on a trunk, Nina squatted down between your thighs and gazed softly at you with her beautiful brown eyes. 

"How are you doing, love?" The pet name made your heart flutter, and you didn't know how to take it. Melot stood behind you and joined the conversation: "Are you still thinking of Will?" 

You carefully chose the words for your response: "To be honest, it wasn't ever much about Will. Hell, this sounds mean, but it's the truth. We split up because I fell in love. And it obviously wasn’t Will I fell for." You closed your eyes for a second, thinking back to the awful last conversation you had had with your ex-boyfriend.

"He noticed how I looked at them, how I yearned for them." As you stared off into the distance, you didn't notice the looks that Mel and Nina exchanged with each other. 

Nina put both of her hands on your knees and slowly brushed them up and down your thighs. Her touch shot straight to your heart, and you could barely hold back the moan that threatened to escape your mouth. 

To make it even harder, Mel sank his palms onto your shoulders and massaged your tense muscles. Electric shocks ran through your body as they touched you like this. 

"Is there anything we can do for you?" Melot asked, his voice dropping. 

You bit down a sarcastic chuckle. "You are already doing too much."

You had the window rolled down and enjoyed the wind in your hair. On the outside you might have appeared calm, but there were a thousand thoughts racing through your mind. Within the last twenty-four hours, the whole idea of your relationship had changed into something new. Something that had you getting excited but also scared.

The realization of Melot’s feelings for Mike had felt like a hit in your guts for a few seconds, until you admitted to yourself that it was only fair to allow him to feel the same way you did. And not long after, you came to the conclusion that it was probably the best thing that could ever happen to you, that your man shared your crush on Mike with you. The night by the fire with Melot in your arms, you felt closer to him than ever before and though you thought it wasn’t possible, it felt like your love for this man grew even bigger. Your thoughts drifted to another scene earlier that day that made your heart jump. Mike confessed he was falling in love. He didn’t tell you with whom. But maybe your senses didn’t trick you and there was something between him and the both of you. Maybe his heart was racing just as much as yours when he touched you. And maybe the way he looked at Mel when he thought no one was watching was really the yearning you thought you recognized.

You could have just asked him, but you didn’t dare. And so Mel and you chose to just tease the hell out of Mike and wait for his reaction. Mel turned to you for a second, as you were in the passenger’s seat today, and smiled mischievously. His hand dropped to your thigh and his fingers dug into your flesh. Yeah, you should take another turn teasing Mikey, so you got up and crawled between the seats, trying to give Mike a perfect view of your cleavage as you pretended to search for something in one of the bags in the back seat. You moved as slowly as possible, brushing your fingers along Mike’s calves, making it look like it was just an accidental touch. And with satisfaction, you saw how Mike tensed at the contact. He clenched his jaw and his eyes widened just for the part of a second. Yes, he wasn’t unaffected by you. 

Mel stopped when he found another beautiful deserted beach. It was a hot day, and you decided that swimming was a better option than going for a hike. 

You changed into your bikini in the camper and as you stepped out into the sun you smiled. Mel was standing with his back to you and Mike was close to him, rubbing sunscreen onto the tattoos on your boyfriend’s skin. You joined them, taking the sunscreen tub, and you started to work on Mike’s back. He felt so good under your hands. When every bit of skin on all three of you was cared for, you made your way into the waves. Mike and Mel had fun chasing you once more. The three of you were screaming and laughing and soon enough you had found yourself in an entanglement of arms and bodies again. It was just perfect, this was how you wanted it to be, from now on, until forever.

There were hands on your waist, and you couldn’t even tell to whom they might belong. Another arm wrapped around you and tugged you down into the water. You felt lips on your neck. When you turned, you looked into the eyes of your boyfriend, and they were sparkling with joy. He pressed a firm kiss onto you and grabbed your hand. As you followed him back to the shore, you realized that in his other hand he held Mike and pulled him with you, too.

Mel dropped down onto your blanket and Mike and you both followed him. Mel moved you to straddle him and shared a deep kiss with you. You answered him, opening up, letting his tongue enter and explore you. Mel's hands cupped your breasts through the thin, wet fabric of your bikini, sending shivers down to your core. But then you heard a frustrated grunt and pulled back. Mike sat next to you with an expression that you didn’t know from him. There was a deep frown on his face and if you were to guess, you would say he looked hurt. 

When Mike saw that he got the attention of both Mel and you, he started to ramble:

“Sorry guys, I can’t take it anymore! You are both playing with my feelings! This might be fun for you, but it’s not for me. In fact, it hurts like hell. All your looks, all your touches, do you realize what they do to me? You are not helping me, all you’re doing is make me fall even harder for you two!”

That’s when Mel rushed forward. His mouth was on Mike’s before you could even blink. It looked awkward, there were noses brushing against each other, teeth clicking, as they were trying to find the right position, but in the end it was the sweetest kiss you had ever witnessed. And it was your boys who were kissing. They were yours.

You were so fucking nervous as you watched Mikey through the rearview mirror. He looked tired and tense. And yet, he was just so beautiful. Nina found ways to taunt him from time to time, and it was too cute to see him blush. When you saw the beach, you knew you had to stop. Just thinking about fooling around with them in swimwear made you lose your mind. And you were just about right. You weren’t even in the water before you were a total mess. Did you really have the stupid idea to ask Mike if he could help you with the sunscreen on your back? Well, you didn’t want to ruin your tattoos, right? But there you were, trying your best to hide all the emotions that you felt as Mike let his hands roam over your skin. They were soft and warm and yet, they gave you goosebumps wherever he touched you. He was so close. You just needed to turn and kiss him. But you couldn’t. Not yet. Nina joined you, applying some sunscreen on Mikey, and you did the same for her. As you went to extra lengths to take care of the sensitive skin of her breasts, you saw Mikey’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. It was really time to get into the cool water or else your heart would overrule your mind, and you would do things you just shouldn’t do. Nina was the first to run into the waves and Mike and you followed her. All of you were screaming and laughing, trying to get one another to dive into the water. Your heart jumped as you felt Mike tickling your side. Then you had Nina in a tight grip. You pressed your lips on her neck and sucked at her soft skin. First you looked into Nina’s eyes and realized that she was just as happy as you were. And then you turned to study the deep blue eyes of Mike. You saw that bittersweet expression that you knew from yourself. He was longing for you. For both of you most likely. You decided that you had to go all in now. There was no way to drag this out any longer without hurting someone. You grabbed both the hands of your girlfriend and of Mike and guided them back to the beach. 

There was no plan you could follow, and your brain wasn’t working properly at the moment, so you just improvised. You dropped to the ground, taking them both with you. Not daring to touch Mike, you started to kiss Nina, pulling her into your lap. Her nipples, hard from the cold water, were peeking through the fine material of her bikini, and you couldn’t just ignore it. You cupped her breasts, deepening your kiss. Now you needed to find a way to let Mike know that you wanted to share this with him. But there was no need to because Mike was done with the teasing. He was so angry and it was so adorable. And as he confessed that he was really falling for both of you, you couldn’t hold back any longer. You pulled his face to yours and, your heart dropping a beat, you pressed your lips on his. It felt so different, so new. Your nose was in your way, and you were moving way too fast. But it was such a great feeling. Mike’s tongue was exploring you, and you sank your hand into his wet curls to pull him as close to you as you could. Nina, who was still sitting in your lap, wriggled between the two of you, and you finally pulled back to look at her. Your heart was racing. What if she changed her mind? What if she couldn’t see you kissing someone else? But then you saw her face and she looked happy and - proud. Her hand cupped Mike’s cheek, and she started kissing him just as passionately as you had a second earlier. 

As you watched them, you felt your cock twitch in your pants. You wanted them, you wanted them both so badly. But just as you reached out for Mike’s chest, he pulled out of your embrace. He sat back, his eyes rushing from you to Nina and back to you. “Sorry, I need to know. Is this what you are doing here with me a casual hookup? Because I can’t do that. I can’t have my heart broken again.” Nina took his hand and answered him, a soft smile on her face: “No, Mike, we’re both so totally into you. We want to ask you if you would like to be part of what we have.” His eyes went big as saucers and his head turned to you, looking at you quizzically. You nodded. “You have to be patient with me. I’ve never been with a guy before. But I really, really can’t stop thinking of you.” 

Mike ran with his hand through his hair, still a look of disbelief on his face. But then he grew a smug smirk from ear to ear. “I think I just won the jackpot!”

You started kissing again, taking turns. Your hands were exploring each other's bodies. The sensations were overwhelming. Mike felt and tasted so different but just so good. The bulge in your pants grew with every touch. And then a hand pressed against your erection. Your gaze dropped: The hand belonged to Mike. For a moment, you froze in your movements. 

Mike must have sensed your hesitation because he removed his hand from between your legs and cupped your cheek instead. 

"Relax, we're just having fun. If you're not comfortable with something, let me know. But please let me try to make you feel good." His words soothed you. You covered his hand with yours and let your forehead sink against his.

"Okay!" Your words were barely a whisper. Mike rubbed his nose against yours, the cutest smile on his face. The kiss that followed was sweet and gentle. 

When he pulled back, Nina replaced Mike's spot on your mouth. You decided to close your eyes and just let whatever was about to happen, happen. 

There were lips and hands all over your body. A gasp escaped you as a hand slipped into your pants. They were sticky and wet, and you were eager to get them down. When you managed and your cock sprang free, you heard a deep moan. You opened your eyes and saw how Mike and Nina exchanged looks, Mikey biting his lip in anticipation.

Turning your attention to Nina, you pulled on the strings to undo her bikini top and both Mike and you grabbed a handful of her tits. It didn't take long until Mike replaced it with his mouth. And then you felt Mike's hand, skin on skin. Damn, why did this feel so good? He stroked you in slow motions. When his mouth left Nina's nipple he grinned at you.

"This is heaven! Boobies and dick, all for me!" You were totally in love with this stupid dork.

Somehow you found yourself lying on your back on the blanket. Nina was kneeling next to you, apparently just as excited as you, as Mike slowly descended your body. He pressed wet kisses on every bit of skin that he passed, until he stopped just inches away from where the tip of your cock lay heavy on your ab.

"Come here, baby!" you told your girlfriend and dragged her leg over you. You pushed her bikini to the side and guided her to sit on your face.

Nina was soaking wet and you devoured both her delicious pussy and the sweet sounds that she made in response. 

And then you felt Mike's wet, warm mouth. "Fuck!" To silence any other profanities that dared to escapeyou, you kept your tongue busy drawing circles around Nina's pearl. 

Mike knew exactly what he was doing, he found every spot that needed attention. It was sloppy and eager and you really had a hard time not forgetting that there was a pussy in your face that should be cared for. 

When Mikey started to hum with your dick deep down his throat, you lost it. You threw your head back. "Damn, Mike, you're really making it hard for me not to cum." 

Nina giggled as Mike hummed once more. They were fucking teases. She had moved and you couldn't reach her with your mouth anymore. Instead, she gifted you the best sight of your life: This curly head between your legs, your cock disappearing between those beautiful full lips and a pair of blue eyes gazing at you. And her own pair of eyes, switching between adoring that gorgeous guy giving you head and watching you, so much affection written onto her pretty face. 

With her hands and mouth gently caressing you, Nina moved further down your body. Mike straddled your leg, making room for Nina to join him. And she did. They took turns, licking along your shaft, sucking you and kissing each other. You were so close now, it was hard not to shut your eyes and let go, but you needed to enjoy this for a little longer. You needed to see their beautiful faces hovering over your cock. 

Nina stopped working on your dick and instead she moaned and whined, her eyes rolling back. You clearly recognized her O-face. Mike kept going, shoving you deep down his throat. Whatever Mike had done to Nina, he had brought her to collapse onto your side. She was trying to catch her breath, starfishing over your thigh. You took her hand and laced your fingers with her.

Mike repositioned himself and, pulling your leg up, he opened you wide. His fingers were wet, covered in Nina’s juices as they brushed over the sensitive area between your sac and your ass. “You want me to go lower?” His gaze was so lustful as he awaited your answer. Your voice broke as you mouthed a desperate “Please!”

Mikey’s finger carefully pushed into your puckered hole and at the same time he resumed his work with his mouth on your cock. You could hardly breathe at the sensation, your whole body felt like it was about to burst. And as Mike added a second finger, you were gone, seeing stars and shuddering uncontrollably as you exploded into his mouth.

It wasn’t by far the first time you rode your boyfriend’s beautiful face. But watching him getting a blowjob from this silly handsome boy while he licked and sucked at your clit? That was something else! You couldn’t even be mad when he stopped eating your pussy. You imagined what it must feel for him. And to be honest, you wanted nothing more in the world right now than to join Mike. You crawled down and settled on Mel’s thigh and Mike generously shared your boyfriend’s dick with you. Wait? Did you have two boyfriends now? Didn’t matter. You felt Mike’s finger running through your folds, and soon he had them deep inside of you. He found your most sensitive spot with ease and curled his fingers to hit you there over and over. You were a whimpering mess by now. Mike built so much pressure in your core, and when he used his palm to rub over your swollen bud, you snapped. You came undone, your juices gushing over his skillful fingers and your limbs finally gave out. You dropped onto Mel and couldn’t do anything other than breathe and watch Mike. 

You could hardly keep your eyes open but you had to. And it didn’t take long until you felt Mel trembling under your body, and you saw Mike swallowing the seed that Mel shot down his throat. 

A sound escaped you from deep in your throat and as Mike pulled away from Mel, your lips crashed into his. Your tongue tasted Mel as it brushed over his lips and when he opened them for you, the salty taste of Mel’s cum got even stronger. 

All of this made you so happy, you could cry. In fact, you noticed there were tears streaming down your face. Mel reached out for you and pulled you into his arms. Mike joined you on the other side of Mel’s chest and both men stroked your hair and back tenderly. Mike cooed soft words into your ear and Mel pressed kisses on your and Mike’s hair.

“Are you okay, sweetcheeks?” Mike’s eyesshowed concern. You nodded with a sniffle. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just love this so much. I’m happy. I really am!” Mel and Mike both kissed your forehead. You relaxed and sunk onto Mel’s chest, unable to tell if it were seconds or hours that passed until you could form a straight thought again. And that first thought was guilt. You felt bad for Mike who was still in his soaked swimming shorts while Mel and you were totally spent thanks to him. And yet, he was soothing you and didn’t push for you taking care of him eventually. 

You started to nestle on his shorts but Mike took your hands and pulled them up to his chest. “I know what you’re up to, sweetcheeks. But there’s no need to rush this. Mel and you both need a break. What about we’ll enjoy these cuddles a little more, then pack our stuff and get comfortable in the camper?” 

At first you wanted to protest, but Mel stopped you. “He’s right, Nina. Come here!” His lips felt warm and soft and his taste soothed you as his tongue found its way into your mouth. A sigh escaped you when he retreated and his lips left your mouth. 

But it was only a second that you lacked his warmth and smoothness, as Mike’s lips closed the gap that Mel had left.

The three of you fell asleep in each other’s arms. When you woke up you thought it was just a dream for a second, until you realized you were still resting your head on Mel’s chest and Nina’s hand was tangled in your hair. 

The rest of the day was just a happy bliss, feeling so comfortable around them now that no one had to hide their feelings anymore.The time was filled with more swimming, some shared sandwiches and those teasing little caresses that the three of you shared. Those caresses that made you want to take it further. But you wanted to do this right, you really felt so much for them already, and you'd hate to mess things up by rushing them into a situation they were not ready for. A little part of your heart still feared that they would regret their decision. 

That was until you took the last bags to the van. Nina and Mel were in the back of the camper and you overheard them talking:

“Mel, I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know, it’s so fucking perfect, isn’t it?”

“When I saw you with him… Damn, Mel, my heart melted!” “Stop it, I’m getting a boner just by thinking about how you two looked with my cock in your mouths.”

You cleared your throat before you opened the tailgate further to climb onto your mattress with them. There was no need to talk, they must have seen what you were craving as you kissed them hungrily. Mel didn’t hesitate to pull down your shorts. But then it was Nina who first took your hardening cock in her hand. 

"Wow, did that hurt? That’s cool! When did you get that? Does it do anything for you during sex? Can I touch it?" she blurted out, making you laugh. 

“Yes, it did fucking hurt, I got it when I was 18, it was a bet with a friend. Yes, it does something to me during sex. Best lost bet ever. And I’d love for you to touch it.” Nina bent down to examine your reverse prince albert piercing. Carefully, she let her fingers brush over the titanium ring and the pre-cum that leaked from the pierced flesh.

"It's gorgeous!" she remarked and you groaned as you watched her licking her fingers. Mel and you shared the same thought as you both pawed at Nina to get her rid of her clothes. 

Your piercing still had her very interested, as she sank her head into your lap and drew lazy circles around it with her tongue. Mel watched you, his fingers working on Nina and stroking himself. Oh, this was going to be fun!

She got you moaning and panting in no time, though the other two weren't exactly more subtle with the lewd sounds that left their lips. 

"Doing so good for us, baby!" Mel cooed, massaging the soft flesh of her ass. Oh, she liked that, you noticed, as she squirmed. 

"Such a good girl for us, just look at her, Mel! So eagerly sucking my dick!" Nina whined needily at the praises.   

You expected Mel to start fucking her, her rear pushed up high, inviting him. But he had other plans.

"Babe, where's the lube?" Nina couldn't answer him with her mouth stretched around your cock, so she just waved a hand into the direction of some bags. You were about to pull back to let her speak when Mel was successful in his search and started to coat his fingers.

When Mel entered her tight hole, Nina sucked on your dick like her life depended on it. You felt it shooting deep through your body. Cradling her head in both your hands you thrust into her mouth, drops of saliva running down Nina's chin and your thighs. She was so fucking gorgeous, whining around your cock. 

Mel added another finger, you felt it as Nina responded to it with more desperate moans and her technique getting to a point where it was just a hair's breadth from being uncomfortable.

Mel laid back, his head resting against the back seat. “Come here, baby!” Nina followed his orders and let him guide her to lean her shoulders on his chest, his hands on her hips as she slowly descended, his cock stretching open her puckered hole. When he was buried in her to his hilt, Mel covered her neck in kisses and little bites and more words of praise, whispered into her ear. 

You devoured the sight in front of you. Mel spread Nina's legs open wide over his thighs so you could see her dripping pussy, squeezing out more of her arousal as it clenched around nothing.

There was no way you wouldn’t dive between her legs. You lowered yourself, wrapping your arms around Mel’s thighs to keep you steady and put your mouth against her. She tasted like heaven, you thought, as you lapped through her open petals. When the tip of your tongue rolled over her swollen clit, Nina let out a moan. Was this your doing or Mel’s? You tried again, pressing your tongue down on her. This time there was no doubt you were responsible for her reaction. She repeated that sweet sound and her hand pressed your head to her core. She wanted to make sure you stayed exactly where you were. You took the invitation and kept doing what she longed for, dragging more moans and profanities from her lips as you kept working on her. Mel’s thrusts got faster, and you had to adapt your rhythm to follow him. You increased speed and pressure, and right when you thought your mouth was going to get numb, you heard Nina screaming your name, followed by a deep grunt from Mel. You looked up at them with a smile. Mel locked his eyes with yours and guided you to get up. Kneeling in front of them, Mel pulled you close and locked his lips with yours. His tongue darted out, desperate to taste Nina on you. When you pulled back, Mel brushed his thumb along your jaw and rubbed it over your lower lip. “Please fuck her, Mike. I want to feel you move inside of her cunt.” You gasped at the thought of it.

Yes, you really wanted nothing more than this. You asked if you needed a condom, but as you were all clean and Nina was on birth control, there was no need to. So you finally aligned yourself at her entrance and sank your cock between her soft, warm walls. 

Your heart raced as you were finally united with them. It took you a whileto find a position in which you were both comfortable, and able to bottom out because damn, you needed to feel as much of this as possible. When you had found the right position, you started to move. Feeling Mel thrust into Nina made it hard for you not to cum on the spot. Taking deep breaths, you focused on your motions. Your hips moved in a slow rhythm and your mouth searched for Nina and Mel and soon your bodies were moving in sync. As Mel pulled out you pushed in. Nina was alternating between whimpering and screaming whenever you left her lips. 

When Mel bit down hard on your lip, you knew he was fighting, too, to hold back his release. You kissed down his neck, sucked at the soft skin behind his ear and, between your own moans, you told him: “Cum for me, Mel. Cum for me and Nina!”

“Fuck!” Mel grunted, and he started to rut into Nina’s ass relentlessly, not holding back any longer. You stopped moving, just feeling how Mel’s dick pressed against yours as he moved. And you felt Nina clenching around your cock, close to her own climax. Mel threw his head back, another “Fuck!” pressed through his teeth. You held him, keeping him and Nina in place and resumed thrusting into Nina’s pussy. You didn’t hold back any longer either, and it took you only a few more strokes until you released yourself into her. It was hard not to collapse onto the mattress, but you needed to check on Nina. Mel was already pressing kisses on her cheek, but you held her close and started to kiss her other side. “Was I too fast for you?” you asked her, but Nina chuckled in return. 

“You were fucking me senseless and didn’t even notice?” she asked, making all of you laugh. And then the three of you settled down onto the mattress, a chaos of arms and legs and heaving chests.

It took you another two hours of cuddling, talking and kissing until you were ready to head back home. All bags were stowed away, Nina crawled into the backseat and Mel was sitting behind the steering wheel, waiting for you to get in. 

Your eyes drifted back to the beach where you kissed them for the first time.  The memory of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach at that moment made you smile. You’d had the perfect day here today!

You reached out for the passenger door handle of the van, but then you stopped. With a smirk on your face, you opened the rear door instead. „Would it be too mean if I spend the drive home in the back seat with Nina?“ you asked, giving Mel your best puppy eyes. He just shook his head in return and chuckled, which you took as his okay. 

Dragging Nina‘s legs over your thighs, you started kissing her before Mel was even out of the parking spot. 

You had one hand in Nina‘s shorts, the other one under her shirt and your tongue down her throat when you heard Mel‘s growl. „Just so you know, we‘re taking turns driving and making out in the back seat, okay?“

3 months later

When you put the comforters on the bed, your gaze wandered through the room. There were still a lot of boxes littered all over, but it already felt comfy. It felt like home. 

You smiled as you saw Mike's arm wrapped around Mels broad shoulder when they entered the room. Could they be any cuter? Your heart swelled with love and pride at the sight of your boyfriends.

"Is this your pillow in the middle?" Mel asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked at the oversized bed. You grinned mischievously at him.

"No way you'll get the middle spot. It's mine." Mel jumped onto the bed and grabbed your pillow. Before you were able to react in any way it landed in your face. 

And so, the next moment, three grown adults found themselves in a pillow fight. 

Mel had you pinned to the bed, ready to tickle you until you gave up, when Mike dropped next to you with a huge grin on his face. "Hey peanuts, stop it! I’ve got the solution." 

Mel stopped his attack but didn't let go of you just yet. You both looked expectantly at Mike. 

"I will give up my chance to get the middle spot. And I know how to decide which one of you two earns it." He paused for a more dramatic effect. "You compete with each other -" another pause and Mike's smile growing even wider… "in a blow job contest!" 

That smug bastard was so proud of his idea. You just laughed. But Mel took your pillow and threw it to the side of the bed, winking at you. "Make yourself comfortable over there, then, baby!" 

Then he slid down to kneel between Mike's thighs and started to unbutton the jeans of his boyfriend. 

[tuiyla]

Are there any plots that you just refuse to take seriously and/or hold against the characters, because you find them to just be THAT stupid or ooc?

Like for me, I just simply cannot be bothered about Santana's role in the Brody mess. The whole plot was clearly about giving Finchel that "stay away from my future wife" moment that we're meant to swoon over, and Santana was nothing but a plot device to get Finn in the room. So whatever. I am not engaging.

And it's slightly different, but I still mostly ignore the entire Lucy Caboosey plot. To this day, I mostly view it as them grasping for something to mock about Dianna, and coming up empty, they were like "let's just have fun destroying a pic of her in photoshop". The only good thing I took from that plot was it allows Santana to call her "Lucy Q" in fics.

Okay no more procrastinating answering this, hey Anon. Sadly I can't say I took so long because I've come up with a myriad of examples. Truth is, Glee's both a) so inconsistent and b) so far removed from reality at times and tonally shifting all the time that there are a bunch of moments we could dismiss as OOC. It actually seems to be an issue that everyone has that line in the fandom where they ignore things but the line is somewhere else in each case. Fun, thanks Glee.

For me, I actually don't cut Santana slack for that one because it was a big Yikes and unfortunately something she would at least sorta do. I do fully consider Finn a freak for it as well and hate the framing of the scene. As for Lucy Caboosey, it's funny, I've never known where I stood with that. I still don't. Honestly, since I can make it work I don't hate it all that much. I often feel like I do a lot of the heavy-lifting for the writers, more so than they deserve but Lucy Q is one of those that I can sort of make work so I don't ignore it.

An example of my own that immediately comes to mind is the infamous sex tape, of course, which is played for laughs and is the second most infuriating thing Flopson has written. Wow that man's scripts suck. I simply cannot treat it seriously or even as part of canon most of the time because it's just so icky. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite because I won't hold it against Britt's character but I just refuse to engage with that plot on any serious level. You can't, it's non-consensual distribution of underage p*rn played for laughs. Not even good laughs! Pathetic.

Another much less serious example that comes mind, and one that pisses me off regardless of it being a minor instance is Rachel and Mercedes' bathroom scene in 100. When Mercedes says Santana is one of high school ghosts? When she and Rachel commiserate about people like Santana and Quinn? No. Absolutely not. I refuse to indulge this pity fest designed to reestablish Rachel as the ultimate underdog despite all her dreams coming true. I refuse to let the writers throw not one, not two, but like four rich and interesting female dynamics under the bus. All so we can be clear who the baddie is and get rid of any sort of nuance in the Pezberry feud. They can pry Sancedes from my dead cold hands, and same goes for Quinncedes. Wasn't it enough throwing Quinntana under the bus in Trio? God, where does it stop.

Those moments often annoy me much more than entire storylines do. When the writers can only elevate one friendship/relationship by downplaying another. It's a sign of weak writing and I hate it. It's like they treat personal relationships as a zero-sum game. Anyway, other than that I'm blanking on standout OOC moments. I'm sure there are loads, like I said Glee's inconsistency is awful and happens not only from episode to episode but within 45-minute spans. It's inevitable that many moments will feel OOC and completely out of place. The ones I'd care most about are, naturally, Santana-related ones, but for better or worse I can integrate just about anything into a logical arc for her. Except for not talking to any of her friends in season 6. But I don't see that as an in-universe problem.

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (3)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: cursing, angst(?), Draco being a meanie :(

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: not my best lmao kinda gets cheesy. anyways, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/B/N = your brother’s name

(gif cred)

“Do I really have to get one?” Draco whined in the middle of the phone store, getting his very first cellular device.

“Yeah, man. It's 2008 and you still write letters. Plus, your bird took a shit on my car,” Blaine said matter-of-factly. He found it funny that Draco still used an owl post for communication; the only other person Blaine knew that still uses an owl is his 97 year old grandmother. And even she has a landline in her house. “It's just easier and quicker to use. Why wait a whole day for a letter when you can just text me and I’ll respond in two seconds?”

“I’ve never even used a wall phone, how do you expect me to use a bloody cell-phone, Blaine?” Draco was fidgeting in his seat as he waited for the store employee to finish, what was it called, a credit score? Muggles sure are weird.

She came back shortly with a small, black box that had a weird word on it. What the bloody hell is an iPhone? She explained how it turned on, all the applications it carried, and details about billing and more. Draco was still confused about the whole thing but Blaine said that he would help him understand it better.

“Well look at you, Dray. A modern wizard in America,” Blaine jokes. Draco played with the new device, working out all the kinks of it. He sent his very first text message to Blaine at that moment. Took him precisely 5 minutes to type out a very bland, simple ‘Hello. -Draco L. Malfoy’

It made Blaine laugh so hard that he held his stomach. “My god, we’re gonna have to work on your texting skills, man. First things first, you don't have to sign your name at the end of a text. I know it's you.” Blaine explained to Draco all the fundamentals of texting as they walked through the halls of Santa Marie.

Throughout the day, Draco shared his new number with his department. The more he shared his number, the faster he became at typing.

At the end of his shift, he went to a nearby restaurant where he usually picked up dinner —not one to know his way around the kitchen — and headed home.

It's been a good week for him; his mother had sent him a letter everyday, he finished setting up the guest room for Theo and Blaise, he has this new phone, and best of all, Y/N had not crossed his mind once.

Now he still hasn't accepted what she does in her free time, but also he realized that she’s not exactly harming him nor did she know what he was. He's usually busy with all the work he does, anyway. It was quite a sudden change of heart. But mostly, it was his mother that was able to talk to him and change his views.

My dearest son, had it been during the time before the war, I would have agreed with you. But you have to understand that things are different now. You're different now. Now I am not forcing you, but maybe you should just talk with her just once. If not, just ignore her. After all, she only lives next door.

When he read the letter, he could practically hear all of his friends telling him ‘She's right, you know.’ And deep down, he knew it too. So he went with her advice: ignore Y/N.

—

You’ve had a terrible week; your assistant manager forgot to count the inventory which meant she also forgot to make an order for inventory. A group of teens stole a bunch of little vials of oils you had put on display. And to top it all off, a man stood in front of your shop with signs that had biblical verses written on them, blocking the entrance way and essentially driving away any potential customers. You called security but they never came.

You were used to this happening, it's happened all your life. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I'm not harming anyone, so why does this happen to me? Next week, your mother was flying in from Maine to look around the house to make sure nothing would ‘freak Stephanie out.’ 

Driving back home, you were just waiting to mix some bath salts in your tub, play music, and relax for the next couple of days. By sheer coincidence, as you pulled in you noticed your neighbor that you now knew as Draco pull into his driveway.

This week can't exactly get worse you thought as your legs carried you to his front door. With gentle knocks on the door, you waited patiently. Being rejected once more didn't bother you, but you at least wanted to hear him speak to you and try your chance to become better acquainted.

Draco opened his door, his tie was undone and he looked confusingly at you. “Can I help you?”

Panic overcame your senses and without thinking, you blurted out, “Do you hate me?” You noticed his shocked face as it was probably not something he expected to hear.

“Excuse me, what exactly are you talking about?” he asked in his entrancing British accent. It was too late to take it back, so you just kept going with it. “I’m sorry, but you moved in here four months ago and you seem to have made friends with everyone around here but for some reason, you won’t even say ‘hi’ to me. Did I offend you or something?” You sounded exhausted and sad. Not only at the week you just had, but how Draco wasn’t being so neighborly with you as he was with everyone else on the street. It bothered you so much to no end. And the most frustrating thing was that you didn’t understand why.

“Uh, I apologize that we haven’t been on speaking terms but I don’t think I have to talk to you now, do I?” Draco scoffed. Why is he being such a jerk? “I’m not saying that you have to talk to me, but it’d be nice if you could at least wave or something. But instead, you look at me funny and ignore me. It’s kinda rude.” 

“Merlin, you muggles are so temperamental.” Draco said under his breath. The word sounded funny to you.

“Muggles? Did you just call me a muggle?” The look on Draco’s face didn’t go unnoticed. He stared at you for a few moments, not saying anything. What does that mean? “Is that what you call Americans in the UK? Doesn’t really sound nice.”

Draco started laughing mockingly at you, his grip on his door tightening and knuckles turning white, “Look, I don’t understand what it is exactly you want from me but I will say this; the fact that you are so offended that I won’t acknowledge you is honestly quite fucking childish and if you couldn’t get the hint then I’ll say it plainly for you now. I don’t. Wish. To. Be. Friends. With. You. Got it?” and with that, he slammed the door in your face.

Groaning out, you yelled at him through his door, “Fuck you then! I don’t wanna be friends with some rude prick!” You ran to your door and slammed it pretty hard. The sudden noise frightened your cat and made her run from her tower into your room. What the fuck is his deal? 

You walked to your room, pissed off and tired. Looking up, you saw Draco in his room. You stared each other down before you walked up to your window to close your blinds, flipping him off before it fully closed. Afterwards, you took a regular shower and went to bed. Anger built up inside you, and for probably the first time, you hated another human being. And you had to live next to him for god knows how long.

-

“I mean, did you really have to say that to her?” Ian and Ashley had just listened to Draco explain what had happened the night before. Ian just sat in the chair eating his lunch as Ashley responded to him. “I know things might be different in England, but you should’ve given her a chance. She could be nice. I have a couple No-Maj friends on my block.”

“I’m on Ash with this. Is it really all because she’s Wiccan? Be honest, Dray,” Ian chipped in. At that point, Draco didn’t really know what to say. He thought he could look past it, but he couldn’t. “Maybe, yeah. I come from two families that had very strict traditions and views of muggles. I thought I dropped those views but seeing first hand what they do and-”

“And it makes you feel like a freak? Because you’re a real wizard that can do magic and they sit in some weirdly drawn circle and ‘do’ magic?” Ashley finished Draco’s sentence, making quotation marks with her hands. “I get it, I really do. I was offended too when I had to read about No-Maj’s doing this during school. And then to see movies where witches are viewed as ugly, green-skinned hags with warts on her face and wear rags for clothes. Kinda brings you down as a kid. But I got over it. You should, too.” Ashley held Draco’s hand for a bit before she grabbed her coffee mug and left for her appointments.

Ian sat quietly, watching as Draco was sinking in everything he was advised. “Look man, it’s not really my business to be telling you what you should or shouldn’t like, and who you should or shouldn’t like. And you know what, you’re not exactly in the wrong to get mad about what happened. After all, she just kinda picked a fight with you out of nowhere.” Draco had a face that looked as if he was saying ‘Right? I’m not crazy here’

“But,” of course there’s a ‘but’, “from what I hear around the street, Y/N’s really nice. Super weird for sure, but an overall nice person. I think you should think about it.” Ian nodded at Draco before joining Ashley out of the breakroom. Draco sat there, thinking about what his friends said and also thought back to his mother’s letters. I’m such a child. And I’m the one that called her childish. If he was honest, you were but it didn’t make him better.

He knew what he was going to do after work. It pained him to have to apologize to someone. Apologizing wasn’t something he was exactly used to doing. He’s only done it once to Harry and his friends nearly three years after the Battle. He didn’t even really know what to say to you. But he’ll figure it out. Right?

-

You stood shocked at your doorstep, hands holding onto the sweater as you looked before you. “Mom, you’re here early.”

“I had been given an extra week off of work so I thought I’d just come and see my oldest baby before your brother and Stephanie comes. Also gives me a head start to plan our dinner and get this house situated,” your mother walked past you with her two large luggage cases and dropped them on your living room floor. She looked around the house and eyed all the decorations and pictures on the walls.

To her, everything was nearly normal. You had family pictures posted and some pictures of you and your friends from college. In the living room, you had a tapestry hung up behind your couch that used to belong to your grandmother. “Y/N please, will you take down that blanket? Why don’t you put up a picture of some flowers, or maybe something abstract?”

“Because I don’t want a picture of flowers and that’s not a blanket. It was Grandma’s. I want it hung up there. Ma, you gotta understand that it’s my house now.” Your arms were crossed due to the cold. You had the day off and tried to spend it well as you did your cleansing spell in the morning, but it seems that it wasn’t very effective seeing as your mother came in and immediately started nitpicking everything.

“It was cute in your room when you were a kid. But you’re 26 now. How would your boyfriend feel if he walked in here and thought ‘oh, didn’t know I was dating a 16 year old.’” Her constant criticism was nearly pushing you to the edge. “Ma, I don’t really want to argue with you tonight so I’m just going to bed-” a doorbell rang throughout the house and you were thanking whoever was listening for giving you a reason to walk away from your mother. 

As soon as you opened the door, you were met with another face that you weren’t exactly excited to see. “Can I help you?” you repeated Draco’s words from last night back at him in a spiteful tone.

Through gritted teeth, he looked at you and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being an arse yesterday. I hope we can look past it and become well-acquainted neighbors.”

“Huh, you’re sorry? You don’t really sound it.”

“I know, I’m not really used to doing this,” Draco quipped. “But nonetheless, I would still like to apologize.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’m sorry too.” You were about to close the door until your mother came up and pushed the door completely open, “Honey, who’s at the door- oh! Hello, I’m Y/M/N. And you are?” She looked at Draco with the nicest smile that you had ever seen on her.

“Hello, My name’s Draco. Nice to meet you,” he awkwardly shook your mother’s hand. He didn’t smile, but he also didn’t have the usual scowl on his face when he would look at you. Guess he does have manners. “Y/N, is this a friend of yours?” your mother insinuated with a less than discreet wink. Without missing a beat, you replied, “No. Ma, this is my new neighbor. I just met him. But it’s late, so nice meeting you Draco. See you around.” And you closed the door.

“That was rude, Y/N. You should have invited him in. He’s very cute,” your mother grabbed her bags and headed into the guest room. From a distance, you could hear your mother speak to herself, saying ‘At least this room looks normal’. “It’s kinda late. Besides, we have all the time in the world to talk.” 

You walked to your small closet and grabbed the special bath salts for stress relief and walked to your bathroom. Starting to strip, your mother barged in. “Ma! Privacy, please!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I gave birth to you. Anyways, how long has it been since he moved in? Do you think he knows about your witchy stuff?” She asked as she stood by the door, checking her reflection as you continued to undress for your bath. “I don’t really hold a sign around my neck that says I’m a Wiccan, Mother,” you said with closed eyes. Your mother said, “I hope not. Night, baby,” and closed the door.

This is going to be a long three weeks.

-

The morning came and you woke up before your alarm and did your daily routine. The only difference was that your mother was going through your pantry looking for ingredients to make breakfast. “Morning, honey. Do you want some pancakes? I’ll make your favorites! It’s still blueberry, right?”

“No, that was Y/B/N. Mine are chocolate chip and peanut butter.” You said flatly as you grabbed your watering can. “Oh that’s right. But I already bought the blueberries.”

“That’s fine, they still taste good.” Your mother was satisfied with your response and started right away. You walked out to your front yard and watered your plants along the fence. The betony plants were beautiful, its sight was calming your nerves as you poured water over them. The sound of a door closing caused you to look up, watching Draco as he was standing in his yard with what seemed like a cigarette attached to his lips before he took it out and placed it onto an ashtray that was on his porch.

He walked over to the fence that separated your yards. The smell of the cigarette was in the air and it reminded you of your late father. “I meant it last night,” he mentioned his apology. You didn’t really know what to say so you just nodded and went back to watering your plants.

“But if I recall, you did start that fight,” he chuckled. You glared up at him for a few seconds before returning to your task. “Alright, I guess I’m sorry too.” Draco scoffed and just whispered ‘Whatever’ and walked away. “Wait,” you called for him before he walked back into his house and luckily, he stopped. “I’m sorry,” you said with sincerity. “Can we just start over?”

He stared at you, visibly contemplating your question then finally said, “Sure.” He walked into his house and you stood shocked in your yard. Your mother walked out and announced to you, “Honey! Breakfast is ready! Come on, I think your plants are watered enough.” With the snap of your screen door, you were released from your daze and walked inside. Maybe this week is turning around after all.

-

Draco sat in his room, not exactly sure what exactly happened. Was he really going to try and become friends with a muggle? He could imagine the look on his fathers face. Just because he had lost in the Battle, didn’t mean that he magically accepted muggles and muggle-borns. Narcissa didn’t like them much either but she also didn’t hate them as Lucius did.

This would shock not only his parents, but also his friends, Blaise and Theo. Merlin, the person that would probably have a field day about this would be Hermione Granger. He sat there, imagining Granger either laughing at him or cursing him after all the bullying he put her through. All those years of calling her a mudblood and he becomes friends with a muggle. A No-Maj. A Wiccan No-Maj. But then he thought about what Ian said at work. Y/N is really nice. Weird, but nice. And when he agreed to having a fresh start with you, he figured that it would give you a chance to prove him wrong about what you were like.

Or she could be exactly what I always thought muggles to be. Foolish.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っtaglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters

[letthewiresrock]

FAB 208, 1975

[goldenmaybank]

no strings ~ scout’s writing challenge

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: jj and y/n have had a no strings attached agreement for years, but that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth.

warnings: swearing, cheating, implied sex, and slight fluff 

word count: 2.2k

this is my entry for @ptersparkers​ writing challenge! hope you all enjoy :)

no strings attached. that was the agreement we made back in freshman year. it's now junior year and that agreement still stands. no feelings involved, just pure fun, but how do you not fall for his big blue eyes and bright smile. it was only meant to be for one night, but one night soon turned into two then three and now i've lost count how many nights we've spent together. almost every night for this past year he’s slept in my bed under my silk sheets with our bodies intertwined with one another. i constantly convince myself it's nothing more than having fun but every time i hear his name i get butterflies and whenever he's near me my heart starts to beat a million times faster. i try to convince myself it's not love, but after being with someone in that way for three years it's impossible for it not to turn into that. but clearly it's possible for him at least. that's why i don't say anything and continue to hide my true feelings because i know he doesn't feel the same way as me and probably never will. i stay up every night with him on my mind and thoughts of what we could be consumes my every thought.

freshman year was the hardest of them all mainly because jj had a girlfriend at the time. i know what i did was wrong but the taste of his lips and the way he touched me that first night was so captivating. i knew from that moment i would never be able to let him go. i tried not to get sucked into him and his player ways, but soon the second night happened and from then it was history. we would meet every thursday night at my place at midnight. he was never late and it made me wonder if he craved my touch as bad as i craved his. we would walk past each other in the streets like we barely knew each other when in reality he knew every curve and mark on my body.

sophomore year was easier than the last since he no longer was with his girlfriend, but also harder because that's when i started catching feelings for him. now since he was single, we could actually be seen together, but still had to be cautious since i was a kook. i never understood the rivalry between the kooks and pogues, but i knew if any of the kooks found out i was with jj all hell would break loose. me and sarah were known as the kook princesses, and since she was dating topper, everyone expected me to date a kook too. before i met jj, i went on a few dates with rafe since thats who my parents wanted me to be with, but after realizing all kook guys are self absorbed assholes, i knew i could never be with any of them. the only kook i can tolerate is sarah, and at times she can even be blinded by the things topper tells her. a couple months into freshman year, i already started to get suffocated at the kook academy and went to the beach to escape, which is where i met kie. the moment i met her we instantly clicked and she invited me to the kegger that they were having that night. thats when i met the rest of the pogues, including jj. we spent the whole night attached at the hip drinking and laughing together. soon enough the guest room at the cheateu was filled with nothing but the sound of our moans. that was the first of many nights we spent there together. 

almost every single day i would meet jj by the beach to spend time with him. whether we were surfing, hanging out on the hms pogue with the others, or eating at the wreck, i just loved being around him. although we weren't together people acted like we were. kie would always say we were unofficially official. soon enough our every thursday night meet-ups became every thursday and friday meet-ups and eventually every night meet-ups. we spent every night together at my place until my parents found out and we needed a new place, so we started hanging out at the chateau.

junior year has been the best one so far. jj and i hung out more in public not caring what anyone else would think and gone on what he calls "non-dates" even though it's exactly what dates are. he's met my younger sister and she absolutely adores him, which now makes me wish we never got our families involved in this since i know he doesn't reciprocate my feelings. i've spent so much time with him that i feel almost empty not being in his arms at night. he knows everything about me and i know everything about him. we've shared all of our secrets and deepest thoughts with each other. i've seen his vulnerable side so much that it's almost impossible for me not to fall in love with him. he's opened up to me and let me in more than anyone else in his life even his best friends. every night is something new with him and i never want it to stop even though i know inevitably it will.

"you remember the second night you stayed at my place and you got scared of my dog" i said laughing as we laid next to each other on my bed talking about our favorite memories together.

"look in my defense, your dog is huge and she woke me up out of my sleep." jj said chuckling slightly.

"she was just being friendly and you wouldn't stop screaming. almost woke up my damn parents."

"don't act like you haven't almost woken up john b before with your clumsy ass. you almost knocked over his whole desk trying to get into the room."

"i'm sorry i'm not an expert at climbing through windows like you."

"well when you've had a lot of practice you know how to." he said cockily.

"oh shut up." he laughed as i tiredly punched his arm, "you know damn well i was the first window you came through." i said sassily.

"you're right. you were."

"wait really? so jj maybank has never snuck into another girl's house before? i'm surprised."

"why?" he asked as he turns his body towards me and moves me so i face him.

"i don't know i guess with your reputation i thought you would've been with a bunch of girls before me."

"you wanna know the truth? you're the first girl i've ever slept with."

"wait what?" i sat up against the headboard looking at him confusingly, "what about your ex or all those tourons you would flirt with?"

"all we would do is flirt and make out a little, but it never went any further. either i was always drunk or they were and i never wanted that to be my first time, you know? and with my ex we were only fourteen and dated for a few months. i told you before i never really felt anything for her. it was all just so i could know what it felt like to be a boyfriend.”

“but we were only fourteen, when we..”

“i know, but it was different with you. you are different.”

"so, that means you were a virgin when we first-"

"yup." he said admittedly.

"wow. well i couldn't tell." i joked.

jj looked at me and chuckled slightly, but i could tell something was off with him. his eyes didn't have the same brightness as usual.

"what's wrong?"

"what do you mean? nothings wrong."

"jj, you can't lie to me. i've known you for way too long and i know when somethings wrong, so what's up."

"i don't know. i-" he sighs deeply as he looks at up at me, "it's just- is that what you think of me? that i'm just some player who fucks any girl that throws herself at me."

"what? no. of course not. i just assumed-"

"because that's not who i ever wanted to be." he said cutting me off, "i never wanted to be like- like my dad, you know?” he says as he looks down at his hands, fiddling with them, “as much as he claims he loved her, he treated my mom like shit. he would get drunk and mess around with a bunch of women because he could never commit. i never wanted to be like that. i never wanted to make a girl feel the way my mom felt. she was so heartbroken when he would come back home smelling of perfume and lie to her face. eventually, she had enough of it and just got up and left. kinda wish she took me with her. but i told myself i would never be like that and then i realized i was. back in freshman year when i cheated on my ex-"

"with me" i looked at him sympathetically understanding why what i said bothered him so much, "look, j you're nothing like your dad. i know i've never met him but from what you told me about him you two are completely different people. you’re nothing like that cheating, abusive asshole, okay? you're such a sweet, kindhearted person who always puts others before yourself, especially when it comes to your friends. i've never seen someone care so much about others than you. you have such a pure, kind soul and nothing will ever change that. i know you cheated on her with me and it probably wasn't the right choice, but it sure as hell wasn't a mistake and i won't call it that. being with you was never a mistake for me and i hope you feel the same about it but this" i say as i motion between us, "will never be something that i regret. i know i've said this before but i believe that this was meant to be and we were meant to find each other. the circumstance might not have been the best, but i found you and that's all that matters. you're nothing like him and never will be."

we both laid in silence looking up at the ceiling while raindrops hit the window softly. i started to wonder if maybe i said something wrong or said too much. i feel so deeply for him and whenever he tries to put himself down it breaks my heart. in my eyes he's the perfect guy despite all his faults. sometimes i think one day i'll tell him how i feel and scare him off which is the last thing i want to do. i want to be able to have these moments with him for as long as i can.

"you know, i want to get married before i have kids." jj said breaking the silence.

"that's random, but alright." i said giggling.

"i was just thinking about my parents and they had me before they even thought of marriage. i think that's where they could've went wrong. maybe if they would've taken the time to actually bound their love together before having a kid, they could've lasted longer. after they had me he could never commit fully because of all the responsibility, so maybe if they already took that step to "finalize" their love he would've stayed." he said shrugging.

"well i always wanted to have kids before i get married because i want my kids to be apart of my wedding."

"i guess we could just have two weddings then."

"huh?" i said confusingly finally looking at him.

he looks back at me and sighs, "yeah, i mean since you want one before and i want one after, we can just have two. we have the real one before and then we can renew our vows and have a second wedding with our kids so they can experience it with us."

"so, we're gonna get married and have kids?" i said smirking at him.

"i-i mean i guess. obviously only if you want to." jj said blushing as he started to look anywhere but at me.

i grab his face so he's looking at me, "i would love to, jj."

we both smile at each other as he pulls me closer to him connecting our lips. when we pull apart, i cuddle up into his chest as we continue to lie in silence. i feel my heart flutter as i feel his hands rub my back soothing me. being in his arms felt like home and i only hope he feels the same. as i start to think about how it would be if we were actually dating, the same words he would always say when we started this repeat in my mind "this is only for fun. no strings attached. no feelings. just pure fun." maybe that's all this will truly ever be, just fun, and that's the thought i have before falling asleep in his arms.

×

when i know she's asleep, i just stay awake and admire how she looks in the moment. even sleeping she has a slight smile on her face, which makes me wonder what she's dreaming about. sometimes i wish it was me she's dreaming about even though i know it's not. "just for fun" i remind myself of the words i said but that couldn't have been more of a lie, especially now more than ever. of course what we had was fun, but it was way more than that.

"i love you" i say as i kiss her forehead and wrap my arms tighter around her soon falling asleep as well.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 10

Connections

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, the party arrived in Cauterdale, the heavily-fortified port city at war with nature. They arrived in search of members of the Deathseekers' Guild- the organization of professional adventurers and monster-hunters that likes to be very up-front about its mortality rate- to handle a dragon problem that they're personally a little underleveled for.

While Looseleaf had a fateful encounter with the Plot at the Temple of Andra, Saelhen and Oyobi were headed to the barracks of the city guard, to speak to "Mags", the guard on duty when the local Deathseekers were last seen leaving town. And there...

You remember Medd Cutter, right? Highly-memorable Medd Cutter, the NPC who got oneshot by a T-rex and whose life the party saved? Well, to spite Rex... whatever his last name was, the pro-patria-mori asshole guard captain guy, Saelhen has decided that she's going to start spreading the word of Medd's heroism.

Oyobi, unfortunately, is bent on spreading the word of her own extremely ill-advised heroism, and so the two are having some sort of hype-off as they make their way into the barracks and effortlessly charm their way past the guards to where their quarry is posted.

These two are manning some sort of huge brass contraption, bristling with lenses and dials. One of them is a yuan-ti pureblood- which there are an unusual number of in the city guard, compared to the general population. Weird. Saelhen politely introduces herself, and Verity Truescale refers them to Magnaranth aka Mags, the loxodon who last saw the Deathseekers leave town.

Mags doesn't have a huge amount to tell them- the Deathseekers, evidently, were going hunting, out east somewhere. They brought a lot of torches, so apparently they were headed somewhere dark? Underground, maybe? They were pretty cagey about what exactly they were going out to do. Still, Mags can provide the names and addresses of the Deathseekers in question.

...And Verity, checking the instruments, notices that something is wrong with the tides- apparently something large is disturbing the waters, but they can't quite pinpoint what- it's not any of the usual suspects, which include things by the name of "Darkie" or "Unnessie". Ominous!

After that, the party meets up at the local Temple of Iska, their designated rendezvous point. They catch each other up on their gains, and decide... well, the Deathseekers are going to be back within a couple days, so they'll just wait for them in town and get going with them, to make sure things in Barley and Wheat go smoothly.

Of course, the question then is "where do we stay?"

Options aren't great- Cauterdale is crowded, and the B&B market is incredibly shitty. The best lodging is on Eman's Knee, the island just off the coast of Cauterdale, but getting the ferry over there is expensive, and resort lodging on a tropical island is also expensive.

That- you can't just- I mean, just because- I'm- I'm allowed to be predictable, okay???

(And anyway, it's Corolos where I ended up doing a murder mystery.)

So, Looseleaf gets a 24 investigating the town's B&B market, and finds a pretty good place! It's a weapons shop Saelhen noticed earlier, which is renting out rooms. The place has a huge fence topped with spikes, so they probably won't even get robbed!

Aria of War, as it happens, is run by an elderly yet ripped-as-hell tabaxi man, who Saelhen... vaguely recognizes.

Benedict I. (GM): So, this shopkeeper's coat is familiar to you. It's definitely not the same person, but you once knew a girl in Timber Towers named Toothbrush, with almost the exact same coat. Could be a relative! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Yeah, tabaxi have a lot of coat variation; it's not a safe bet that they're related, but Saelhen is willing to go out on a limb with him. "Good evening, sir, and I'm sorry to bother you, but I felt I had to ask..." Fish Especially: "No discounts." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Do you have any relation to a..." Was Toothbrush her real name? Benedict I. (GM): As far as you know! Tabaxi have weird names. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Toothbrush?" Fish Especially: He looks surprised. "Hold on, you know Toothbrush?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I knew I knew that speckle pattern." Saelhen smiles widely and without guile. "I met her in Timber Towers a while back. She played the violin." "More specifically, she couldn't play the violin, but she always failed very effectively." Fish Especially: "I'll be! Her theatre troupe doing all right for itself, then?" "Even with the noise of that awful thing?" "I never know what to think when she writes those letters..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Last I saw of them, they were doing pretty well for themselves! To be honest, I did a stint with them for a bit, they wanted advice on a traditional elven piece..." Saelhen leans in on her elbows. "Oh, she mangled it, but she compensated with charm and that one face. Her confident face, you know the one, where you think she's so confident that maybe it's supposed to sound like that?" Fish Especially: He laughs. "You do know my girl!" "She hasn't written in- I think a year, now. How's she been?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Oh, it's been so long, I'm barely an authority by now -- but I remember she was talking about taking classes in -- what was it..." "...oh, where are my manners -- I'm Saelhen du Fishercrown, it's a pleasure." Saelhen reaches out for a very unelven handshake.

That she says this is notable for one big reason: this is the first time she's used her real name, and not "Lady Noeru de la Surplus". Nobody else in the party has heard this before!

It's also notable because according to Fish Especially, Toothbrush thought Saelhen was dead- and he's going to let her know otherwise.

Anyway, the deal for rooms goes through without incident, and the night also goes without incident! As is entirely normal, they hear Vayen in the halls making some sort of attempt to sneak into Saelhen's room in the night... and this time, sighing and going "never mind" without even attempting to pick the lock for some reason.

In the morning... Looseleaf grills Saelhen on the name thing, and she confesses the truth of the matter to the whole party- who take it fairly well.

After team bonding, the party heads to the Temple of Andra to check in and see if the Deathseekers have showed up. And by the stablehand's account, they have- or at least, a bunch of weird old people showed up to meet with Gabbro.

Gabbro seems surprised to see them- he was under the impression that they'd leave the matter to them. The further involvement of the party should be unnecessary, right...?

Looseleaf: "Oh, yeah, I was going to let you know we were staying in town and ask for you to let us know when the deathseekers showed up, but, uh, judging by that meeting we interrupted, they're already back and right here." Gabbro: "That is correct," he says, as the stablehand leaves. "I was just briefing them on the mission, you see." "The situation is well in hand, so you needn't concern yourselves with it any longer." "That pesky dragon shouldn't be an issue." Looseleaf: "W-well, uh. I was, uh, we were, kiiiinda hoping to travel with you back to the dragon's tower." "I mean, it's our quest, so, it'd be nice to, for us to see it happening so we can be sure of it, y'know?" Gabbro: He looks somewhat taken aback. "That... seems... risky, don't you think?" "To bring along... certain... people?" Looseleaf: "We're going to stay very very far away from the action! We're not that dumb!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I assure you that we have no intention of fighting the dragon ourselves, sir." Gabbro: "Ah, yes, of course not..." "However..." He gives Looseleaf a pleading look. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And there are... certain persons in the nearby town, whose safety I would like to check up on. Personally." Looseleaf: He doesn't seem to want people witnessing the fight? It could be explicable through just, him being worried we'll get hurt. But it could also be, 'their deathseekers fight with methods that Orluthe in particular should not be allowed to witness.' Gabbro: "Ah, well, if that's the case... if you don't mean to get involved with the Deathseekers and their work..." Looseleaf: "We're not going to- we don't want any claim to the loot in the tower either, if that's a problem! Everything in the tower is you and your group's prerogative to deal with however we like."

Gabbro seems... put slightly more at ease, and decides to introduce the group to the ones who'll be their traveling companions shortly- the Cauterdale Deathseekers.

In order:

Doon Softbreeze, half-halfling rogue and all-around Grunkle Stan-type, friendliest with the party.

Kevin Softbreeze, Doon's soft-spoken herbalist husband and that's it, probably, just a gardener.

John Human, an extremely decrepit extremely human man who seems to make weird buzzing sounds when he speaks, as if with mouthparts instead of human lips.

Ryuusatsu Takuma, totally silent elf (not present at this meeting with Gabbro) who probably just doesn't like talking, is all.

Lady Fidelia Greatholder, heavily-armored and heavily-everything human noblewoman (also not present at this meeting), who- well, she shows up next session.

Gabbro makes a point of making clear to those present that Orluthe, who they'll be traveling with, is a cleric of Diamode- apparently they need to know this for some reason!

Doon's pretty friendly with the party, and offers to take on their job pro-bono- on the basis that, c'mon, if they could actually afford them, they wouldn't be knocking on their door for help. So it looks like they've enlisted some highly-capable dragonslayers with no ulterior motives! Fantastic.

Next time: The road back to Barley, and the tying up of a few loose ends in town. Saelhen needs to get her kimono back!

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

*in the middle of a case*

Wise Old Informant™: And based on all that evidence, I think we're dealing with a cult.

Dean: Awesome. But like on a scale of the Paris Hilton fandom to the Thules, where does it score?

Sam: Somewhere in the middle. So probably Illuminati level?

Dean: well except for the demonic science nerds with money pouring out their asscracks and Latin triangles tattooed on their dicks, right? Because that's really not my thing. *looks at Cas for reaction but there are none. Shrugs and laughs himself*

Sam: you're so far from correct, it is really not funny.

Dean: shut up I'm hilarious. You're just being bitchy because you fanboy for the Langdons of this World and cults *laughs, and looks at Cas for a reaction but gets none*

Sam: *bitchface*

Cas: *unaffected* So, do you have any descriptions of their rituals?

Dean: yeah, do you? Are they the sacrificing llamas type? Dancing around bonfires for tentacled aliens? Community orgies? *laughs again, and even Sam has to grin but Cas doesn't bat an eye*

Wise Old Informant™: No, they pray like we do. Different deities though, and way weirder than the ones we pray to.

Dean: are you sure? Because like Cas here is a cousin of Jesus Christ and a bunch of other evil dicks, and they're all sons of the creator, this home-alone called Chuck, who sings suckily in the shower and watches cat videos, but go off I guess

*now, Dean laughs with Sam but not Cas, and the Wise Old Informant™ looks at them worriedly*

Wise Old Informant™: I'm sorta religious, so just not going to react. So yeah, there's a hierarchy. The beginners stand. There's prostrating at the feet of statues. And then there's sitting.

Sam: yes. The most powerful position is on your knees.

Dean: ...that's what she said

Wise Old Informant™: *laughs*

Sam: *annoyedly laughs*

Dean: *proud of himself but Cas is as stoic as ever, so he finally loses it* Dude. what is wrong with you? You're not on a strike! You're allowed to laugh!

Cas: I would, if I, uh, felt the need to.

Dean: *irritated* what, like, angels can deactivate their sense of humor? And well, I think I'm on a roll here! This is comedy gold! Do you think I'm not funny, huh?

Cas: *polite* maybe we don't share the same sense of humor, Dean. If you want -

Dean: I don't need your pity laughs *mentally* challenge accepted.

~

*Dean decides that it's now a matter of his honor, and he'll make Cas laugh, come what may*

~

*while dealing with the Lucifer situation*

Sam: he's possessing some musician now ughhh

Dean: what some of us do for fame...

Dean: *sees Cas listening and takes it a step ahead* I mean, he's basically a Mean Girl now. He craves attention and would possess the President for drama™

Sam: *snicker*

Dean: I mean, think about it! He could just start driving a pink convertible and become friggin' Regina George next

Sam: *bursts out laughing*

*Dean looks at Cas to see if he laughed, but its like he doesn't even bother to react. Not even a smile*

Dean: ...you can do better Winchester

~

*In the middle of a vampire hunt*

Dean: *slicing some SOB's head off* Phew! Its basically routine now!

Cas: *admiring* you're very good at it, yes

Dean: *decides to seize the moment* they're just pretty bad at what they do. I mean sure, you sparkle just fine. But you don't need to shine out your ass for eternity to suck blood, just wear some headgear so that knifes don't slice through

Cas: *zoning out*

Dean: *desperate* heh I mean the only reason Twilight has all these movies is because it was those embassies against some more dumbasses. Throw in a hunter, and it would've been over before Pattinson could've cried out for the wolf with abs, Jake or whatever

Cas:

Dean: *mentally* its gonna take more efforts, but you'll get there

~

*Gabriel is flirting with a random woman*

Dean: *sees an opportunity and charges* for a guy his age, Gabriel sure seems to get laid a lot

Cas: yes *smiles* he has had a lot of practise

Dean: yeah that, and he has all these great lines, being an angel and everything

Cas: like?

Dean: *excited that it might work* oh come on Cas, what's the use of being an angel if you don't use the pick-up lines it brings?

Cas: I see.

Dean: *sees Cas sobering up and tries harder* you know like, the whole array of heaven related ones? "Heaven's missing an angel, I now see why"?

Cas: *serious* why, Dean?

Dean: no, its just a line, don't take it seriously

Cas: okay

Dean: *desperacito* There's more too! Like, like, "Are you my vessel? 'Cause I would love to get inside you!" *waits for reaction*

Cas:

Dean: it was funny, you ass

Cas: but how would that work like I'm a -

Dean: gODDAMMIT C A S!

~

*TFW sees a girl wearing a trenchcoat, crossing the street*

Dean: *mentally* I'm gonna Carpe the Fucking Diem out of this

Dean: LOOK Cas! She's wearing your trench - no, not yours, I mean, one just like it - but hey, guess what that means?

Cas: what?

Dean: you're finally in season

Cas:

Dean: get it? You're like a trendsetter? Your fashion is finally in style?? Get it????

Cas: ...yes?

Dean: *desperacito x 1234500016351903611* REACT TO IT THEN

Cas: OH! I completely forgot! I was supposed to laugh, wasn't I? Sam told me to look for cues when you spoke, but its much harder to know when to laugh when you speak than you think -

Dean: I swear to god Cas I'm goNNA -

Dean: and Sam, we need to have a fucking talk!? I'M HILARIOUS!! I DON'T NEED PITY LAUGHS

Sam: ...Sam thinks you do, Dean

~

*Many gruesome years later when all except Dean have forgotten about the challenge*

Sam: *teaching mode* and now you enter the name

Jack: I get to choose the name?

Sam: uh, go nuts *walks away*

Jack: *typing keenly* A - G - E - N - T B - I - E - B - E - R

Dean: *peeks* seriously kid?

Dean: *struck by a fabulous idea* HEY CAS! Remember the time you and Crowley used those fake-ass aliases when you went hunting behind our backs?

Cas: not really

Dean: *helpless, but too far gone to be brought back* You don't remember??? The Agent Beyonce and Z?

Cas: *grins* oh that. Yes, those were his idea

Dean: *spurred on* he was always an idiot. Seriously a miracle you 2 weren't caught that time! Close save!

Cas: I suppose

Dean: *dying because the moment is so close to falling flat, and jumping to the punchline* I mean, heh, if we'd not showed up, you would've moved on to the next city as Agent Kardashian and West *hopeful for a reaction, as he bats his eyes at Cas*

Cas: *polite* no we were not stupid

Dean:

Cas:

Dean:

Cas:

Dean: *sigh*

Cas: oH WAIT -

Dean: don't say it don't fucking say it. I give up okay? I'm done. I'm so done. I give up. I GIVE UP!

Cas: I'm sorry Dean, I'll laugh -

Dean: nO - I'VE G I V E N U P

~

BONUS

Jack: ...what's happening?

Sam: Sam keeps forgetting how new you are until moments like these happen

~

EPILOGUE

*Sam, Cas and Dean are reading up on archangel lore*

Cas: *to Sam* ...and that is how he uses all 6 wings to his advantage.

Sam: that information could really be useful when we take him on. All you know about archangels is really gonna be helpful Cas, I should write it down. Speak slower

Sam: I can't take all of it at once.

Dean: *tries to resist but can't* THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID *Cas is stoic as ever and Sam bitchfaces him*

Sam: grow up jerk

Dean: bitch *does the armpit cart thing to demonstrate just how grown up he is*

Cas, suddenly: *snickers*

Dean: did you just -

Cas: I - I mean, I just - *begins to chuckle as he replays it in his head*

Dean:

Cas: *rolling on the floor, full fledged laughing*

Dean:

Dean:

Dean: I've been...its been...y E a r s...I mean - this is what makes you laugh...I mean...

Cas: *unable to breathe from the laughing, red in the face*

Dean: ...fArTS, CAS!?