#and a lot of the women had these sorts of layers too even though they were treated with so much fucking misogyny back in the day

[daincrediblegg]

Best part of re-watching the walking dead is knowing exactly what the fandom was like back when it aired and how absolutely nobody gave a damn for like the million and a half problematic offences it would get cancelled for today on this website

[laikabu]

re: my thoughts on laios’s sexuality (long post ahead lol)

let me start this post with this. first, this contains a lot of references to the new adventurer’s bible world guide book released last february. i can read japanese, but i’m sure they’re translated somewhere. general spoiler warning in case. also… i am ESL, so sorry for any grammar errors

second, if you’re on the team that insists laios doesn’t care about humans enough to form relationships, either read the manga again or at the very least read this thread.

last, please don’t chime in with your acearo headcanons on this post. there’s already a majority of posts here that insist laios is acearo and that anything else is impossible. i don’t like it the same way i don’t like when someone declares they hc marcille as bisexual to a poster who reads her as lesbian. i already have enough people here who declare he’s ace on my own art. at least people on twitter of all places don’t do this sort of thing to me. nothing in this manga is canon, you can headcanon anything i won’t get mad if you hc him as bi or something. just. don’t be weird on my post.

okay. trust me, i love women, and i love the idea of making my favs women lovers but the idea of laios being gay really appeals to me because of his background. this isn’t fueled by yaoi since i don’t even ship the only m/m relationship i bring up here, i just think it adds a nice layer to his disconnect with his own humanity

i do think laios has a very abstract relationship with his sexuality for a multitude of reasons. he grew up in a very conservative backwater village. he has a hard time recognizing his own feelings towards others just as much as vice versa. i don’t really care for the “laios is a monsterfucker” agenda people are pushing but i do think he’d engage in sexual thoughts in his own weird way, i won’t deny his deviantart fetish shit

as an autistic person myself, i relate to how he’d prioritize his special interest over social interactions. after all, he was fixated on monster food so he’s distracted from dark thoughts. he’s not an actual glutton

he’s shy around women, but i don’t think it’s out of attraction. i just think it’s because he’s awkward and doesn’t want to be seen as a threat. there’s a couple of times when, out of armor, he deliberately tries to make himself look smaller and nonthreatening.

he didn’t show any interest towards ashivia (the hubby hunter girl marcille replaced) and just humored her because she wouldn’t leave him alone. his other party members thought he was giving her special treatment so he had to tell her he “doesnt want to give her special treatment anymore”(even though he never did), so she left

ashivia did her best to butter herself up to laios and he didn’t care, but laios thought shuro was his bestest friend in the whole world because he was too much of a pushover to reject him. ironically… what ashivia did to him parallels what he was doing to shuro

also… yeah sorry i keep bringing up that one comic of laios saying if he were falin he’d marry shuro and then begging him to take him back to his country, or that comic of laios wondering why he doesn’t like him(and then the first two questions he asks the magic mirror was what if he or shuro were women). i don’t even ship them! but it’s not a reach to assume that he likes men because of this, even if it’s kinda played like a joke(after all,a lot of people like chilshi even though their ‘shippy’ interaction was played as a joke)

of course, given the setting, i don’t think knows he’s gay, he wouldn’t have the vocabulary to label himself. i do want to dance around with the idea of him forcibly confronting his own sexuality after years of yaad pressuring him to produce heirs lol. laios might not be cishet but he’s a king so he rdgaf about that right now. i’m open to him having female consorts for political reasons, but i don’t think he’s into women, is all.

before anyone brings up his succubus… god forbid an author makes hetbait. a part of the plot twist was that not-marcille wasn’t the only succubus enticing laios, his other party members were copied too. she was the only one who approached him. also… succubi aren’t always inherently romantic. once it realized marcille didn’t work, it switched to appeal to his desire to be a monster.

[dresshistorynerd]

This is kind of random, but would it have been a struggle for a big busted women to wear fashionable silhouettes in the medieval era? I’ve heard some costume historians discuss that there were forms of bust support, but most of what I’ve seen pre-1500s seems like it would have been a nightmare for any ancestor with a similar bodytype to wear. Am I just from a line of women doomed to horrible back pain? (On the flip side of the situation, I’ve found corsets and stays to be rather comfortable, so that’s not a problem)

As a fellow big boob haver, I have good news for you! There were pretty good Medieval bust supporting garments and I have tested one of them.

With sturdy fabric, tailoring and lacing you can create pretty good bust support. Lacing was popularized first in 12th century in form of bliaut, and in 14th century tailoring became standard for everyday garments. I don't know how well bliaut supported the bust, but since it doesn't fit super snugly, I assume it doesn't distribute the weight of the boobs as well as tailored supporting garments and therefore isn't as supportive. I'm also not actually sure if there was proper bust supporting garments before that, I haven't looked into it. I know Romans bound their breasts with cloth wrapped around the chest, so maybe that technique continued (at least for those who especially needed it) till lacing and tailoring became a thing. For more about how supporting garments developed in Europe through history, I have a post about development of lacing, which coincides pretty well with that history from 12th century forward.

Personally I have experience with Medieval Bathhouse dress, which was used in the Germanic Central-European area roughly in 14th to 16th century. It's called the Bathhouse dress because most depictions of it are from bathhouse settings, but there's depiction also in bed chambers and other contexts, so I think it's pretty safe to assume it was used more generally as an undergarment. It often had separate cups for the boobs (see the only extant garment left of it, the so called "Lengberg Castle Bra"), but not always. Unlike most other undergarments at the time, it was sort of a shift (the lowest layer) and a supporting garment combined into one.

I sewed my own recreation of it (with some alterations because I made it for my everyday use, not as a historical recreation) and did a post about my results, where I go deeper into the history of the garment too. I didn't construct it very well and I did an error in the design of the back, which cause the strain of the shoulder straps to focus too much on very specific spots in the back panel, which eventually made the fabric there break too many times. (There were some other smaller design flaws too, like the waistline is lower than my natural waist so it rose and wrinkled annoyingly.) I did use it daily (except when I washed it) for a fairly long time though and it was super comfortable and helped a lot with back pain (and shoulder pain caused by use of modern bras). I hate that I've had to go back to modern bras because I haven't had the time to remake it yet. (I'll probably make a follow up post once I get around to it, where I go through the issues of the first version and how I addressed them in the next attempt.) Well fitted and shaped bodice which is then laced does surprisingly much even without any additional reinforcements.

I haven't made a Medieval kirtle (though I will some day), but it was the more widely used Medieval supporting garment, which eventually replaced Bathhouse dress in the area where that was used. Kirtle is worn over a shift, but it broadly works similarly. Kirtles could be front, side or back laced depending on the time period and how the Kirtle was constructed. Multiple layers of kirtles could be used and looser overgarments (like houppelande) were often used on top of it. Kirtle was used by everyone, including men, but for those who didn't need bust support, it's purpose was mainly to create the fashionable silhouette. Here's three depictions of kirtles from 15th century. First unlaced, but has lacing on the front, second close up of the side lacing and third shows nicely how both front and side/backlacing shaped the bust.

Morgan Donner is a costumer, who focuses a lot on Medieval costuming and has a big bust, so while I haven't personally tested the supportiveness of kirtle, she certainly has. The kirtle bodice part needs to be patterned to accommodate the breasts by giving it round shapes and the kirtle needs to be a little too small so there's room to lace it to fit well. Lining also helps to reinforce the fabric and make it more firm and supportive. Here's Morgan's pattern from the tutorial in her website and how the kirtle eventually fits for her. (Also look at the handsome boy in his handsome matching outfit.)

She also has a video relating to the same kirtle project, where she explains her method to pattern a kirtle specifically so it's supportive for big bust.

In 16th century more stiffness was added to kirtles, first with very stiff lining and then with boning, but that doesn't necessarily add to the bust support, rather it just allows the kirtle to shape the bust and the body in general more and better support a heavy skirt. Firm fabric secured snugly with lacing is already very good at distributing the weight of the boobs to the whole torso.

In conclusion, at least since 14th century people with our body type were not doomed to eternal back pain and even before that some ways to help with it were probably used.

[horizon-verizon]

Lucerys went to Storm’s End to deliver Rhaenyra’s message, he insisted he would bring Borros’ reply to the QUEEN, Lucerys basically died for his mother’s claim and she repays him by trying to make up with his murderers ? That’s sociopathic.

Rhaenyra agreed to send her son as an envoy for the sake of her throne which she apparently doesn’t want and then she begs his murderers for peace ? Why did she let him go then ? Did she sacrifice him ? For what exactly ? She spat into her dead son’s face, she worries about her PR but not her son's sacrifice.

This ask accusing Rhaenrya as being sociopathic is part of why I simply don't emotionally/morally engage at face value (as in these are "real" or well realized character) with this show as much as a lot of other people in the asoiaf fandom do. I do engage as critically (analytically) as I can AND use some scenes as evidence against fandom sexism. The clear misunderstanding and trying to fix characters into roles that don't make sense for their arcs in this story of the Dance undermines too much of the HotD story for me to remain Watsonian about it.

Bec it is not "Rhaenyra" that is sociopathic. It is the sexist writing breeding inconsistency after inconsistency for the character as well as the entire list of circumstances--how kinslaying seems no big deal and how it seems no big deal that Aemond commits this taboo and thus removing a critical layer to why the blacks go to war to answer such a tragedy (this layer that is already on top of how they usurped her).

Though she'd be a valid character if she had been adapted/created for some other appropriate story, FOR THIS ONE and for the relationship she has w/Daemon, she simply doesn't make any sense (the reasoning for war, her kids dying and little response or exploration of that versus her trying to do what Viserys thinks...the guy who ruled pretty poorly, etc.) and is horribly, sexistly written so that they can get as many people--who are not really weighing what the point of her character was in the Dance story or truly care to understand the very basics of misogyny--to like her character. Which itself tells us something abt our world--women over male characters of fiction and perhaps real life need to be morally upright in order for the sexist violence to matter or even be defined as sexist. (Catelyn Stark of ASoIaF is a character who has her flaws but also her valid reasons for how she acts. Margarey of GoT is not sincere to smallfolk, but we can't count her as evil for it. ETC.)

That the motive behind her usurpation and eventual murder was greedy sexism. Then entire reason why Viserys is king is bc of sexism and the Targs succession rules not having been solofoed in terms of which royal has a superseding claim than the other since Aenys and Maegor. Many Targ men actively blocked their female counterparts or children or others' children to strengthen their own claim in the eyes of the Andal-Westerosi descents they were ruling and assimilating into for the ease of said rule.

Therefore yes, the Dance happened bc of misogyny/you can never remain that misogyny played a small role in it happening.

Part of the reason--but not the only reason--she fights for the throne is bc she wants payback for her sons' deaths/punish the greens/not have Luke-Jace die from nothing at all.

This is the same woman who marries Daemon Targaryen bc she is like him in the ferocity, prideful way as well as wanted him for his loyalty and willingness to go that far for her, their family/kids, and her crown. It was actually rather cheap for HotD to portray a Rhaenyra who is conflicted over: some sort of payback for Luke's death thru Blood & Cheese vs the horror of Helaena's grief and pain as a mother herself. A sort of reckoning that she may or may not accept and how far does she actually "accept"? THIS, I argue, would have been far more interesting bc of the layers to it all that reminds me of ebing close to any other Gothic narrative...and this is more of a Gothic couple than they aren't.

This also goes into how the focus of her distrust of him is somehow whether he's trying to rule through her instead of self control. It appears a fine line--bc some might think if she actually cared to follow directions or lead, he wouldn't fly off the handle or go behind their backs or do stuff like "heir for a day", so it has to be him wanting the throne for himself sincerely, and that is all...no love. Again, that is what she was arguing he was trying to do in the actual S2 E2 episode, when she says that he is just trying to use her name to do what he wanted against the Hightowers/Otto/his enemies.

When we have already hashed this bit out AND Rhaenyra (if we say she is very careful and deliberate when it comes to her kids' safety) would not have endangered her 3 boys if it were obviously true Daemon was gunning for them for himself...also, his daughters were marrying those boys so he does have stake in the line even with Jacaerys ruling bc he'd have ruling grandkids through him. So no, it didn't make sense, her concerns.

Not unless we reason that:

this Rhaenyra is simply not the same Rhaenyra as the book canon, and thus her relationship with Daemon simply makes no sense on screen as the writers wrote her/them

we recognize that the writers contradict epi 2, epi 7, epi 8 (all where she obviously understands him and puts trusts him not try to get the throne from/through her or harm her again NOT abt his emotional control) while remembering Daemon suddenly choke her out in epi 10 (which didn't make sense itself bc of those episodes I listed)

*7/14/24* I guess we could argue that Rhaenyra was more trying to address his tendency to leave her when things get too hard by accusing him of cold ambition (as an expression from the fear that he only wants her for power since he didn't bother to help her out at least 2x before, so this is her taking an opportunity to draw him into it and express that fear)...again, this doesn't make much sense when this show has made us believe that they had rather very peaceful and happy and fulfilled days on Dragonstone from S1 E8! This is a pre-marriage argument or at least an argument had either before Rhaenyra proposes to him--thus the argument is her confronting him before she ties herself to him--OR it's had in the first two years when he does something nasty or sus and she confronts him. It's not an argument that one has 6 years after marriage and raising 6 children and seemingly completely satisfied with one's partner WITHOUT HAVING ALREADY WRITTEN MULTIPLE SCENES SHOWING/ESTABLISHING SOMETHING LIKE A MISUNDERSTANDING THAT HOLDS A LOT OF TENSION BETWEEN THEM BEFORE THIS ARGUMENT! It should have been built into to make any modicum of sense. *END*

So yeah, even though I liked the acting and energy of the fight, I didn't care for Rhaenyra's argument w/Daemon. and it isn't actually Rhaenyra nor does their Rhaenyra make any sense, so I don't care to actually engage with this show that much or take it as a serious project. It's their cluster fuck of a character they made to draw in people who can't handle dark or morally questionable female character OR genuinely don't grasp what an unreliable narrator is:

[malk1ns]

tell us abt your girl sid wip 🥺🤲

WIP tag game :)

GIRL SID.

ok i may have made a post about this one before BUT i enjoy talking and thinking about it so here we are.

a lot of the rule 63 fics in this fandom deal with gender in a sort of...sid or geno or whoever it is is more androgynous; maybe they don't shave, they don't wear makeup, they dress in baggy athletic clothes—they're 'butch', i guess you could call it. whether it's who they always are or a defense mechanism from being surrounded by gross male athletes all the time, that's who they are. and i love those fics! there are so many really good ones.

but for me...that's not ever how i react to insecurity. when i'm in situations like that, where i'm one of the only women around, my instinctive response is essentially the opposite—i go hyperfemme. dresses, more (and sultrier!) makeup, i even raise the pitch of my voice sometimes. my gender defense is becoming more girly, not less, i guess. i'm sure i'm using all the wrong vocabulary for this but it's a complicated topic so please forgive me if i say something wrong.

anyway, what if a girl sid reacts THAT way as the only woman in the nhl? she's ultra-talented, of course, but she's still viewed a little bit as a token, as a charity case. she was drafted first overall because duh, but she's had to work three times as hard as everyone else to get recognition once she was actually in the league. the penguins front office gave her an A, but it feels like a PR stunt. geno wears the C for this team, and he's a good leader, but everyone in the room knows it really should be sid. she knows it too.

so what if her reaction was, whenever she's up for postgame media, she showers and spends time doing her makeup and straightening her hair first? what if she dresses 'like a girl' all the time when she's in public, and widens her eyes and talks sweet and nice to the reporters, and lets socially-appropriate non-threatening men take her to events so that it's clear she's taken and not being a slut in the locker room? what if that's how she copes with the pressure and the expectations and the misogyny, by retreating into femininity and using it as a shield to protect her more vulnerable parts?

and what happens when geno falls in love with her despite knowing just how badly it could hurt her reputation? what do they do?

idk i may never write this one as a real fic but i take a lot of notes on it, it's one i go back to when i just want to sort of have ideas onto a page. part of why i like writing m/m fics is they let me explore gender roles and sexual expression at a remove, with a layer between my actual self and the feelings and issues i'm writing about. making sid a girl removes that protection, and i'm not sure i'd be able to truly write a fic about it! maybe one day, though.

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

What kind of fashion exists in the world? And what kind of clothes do the main characters wear?

Hello,

I find myself with a rare day off from work so I will be trying to knock out a few asks!

Also thank you for the fun ask, I love having the chance to world build a bit more publicly. 😊💙

So the fashion of OMWAT is very 1890's, Edwardian sort of centered. The world is a mix of slight medieval elements with the beginnings of early modernization.

Fashion also very heavily depends on which country your from and what social class you are in.

I'll start by breaking down Castellion fashion between the social classes then by men and women differences. Then I'll do the same for Romandian fashion! The main characters will have a post following shortly after this one to describe how they dress.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Castelliones

Most Castelliones go for very practical but moderately reserved sort of look, for women; the white flowy blouse with a high neck paired with long black skirts is the classic look for average city women.

The only huge difference is that clean, detailed lace is a sign of wealth in this classic look (and honestly in most other looks too, lace is a bigger deal to women in Castellio). This is also sort of a day-to-day sort of outfit and women will spin their own personal touches to it. Some, if they can afford it, will invest in having at least one simple white dress with some lace.

If you're in Castellio and live in a more rural area then you might see a few more people dressed in a traditional/charro-ish style. The rural open areas of Castellio is full of ranches and it is simply more practical to not be wearing white (Practicality is also a very big deal in Castellio). Although the rural outskirts is where you will see more color in Castellion outfits, their outfits actually tend to be more vibrant than high class Castelliones.

Now, high class Castellion women are a whole different story. The general rule of practicality for clothing is thrown out the window for their fashion sense. They dress with the idea to convey a 'refined elegance', they do this by wearing a lot of white for purity, but also to show off how clean they can keep their dress. This is where that fashion trend of lace comes in, the more beautiful handcrafted pure white lace or frills you have; the purer they think they look. They also sometimes wear more form fitting dresses, although it's a bit risky because that's usually a style for single high class women in Castellio. More drapey or loose clothes tend to be a sign of a married woman, but it's more of an unspoken rule that some people choose to ignore because it's a little outdated. Even by Castellion standards lol.

Okay, now time for the men!

Average classed men wear simple and practical clothes, brown pants with plain white shirt is the standard look. Suspenders are a bigger deal though, they were introduced into Castellion fashion by Romandi culture back when young Castellion men were forced to work in Luogo Di Pace. Young Castelliones found them more interesting that the regular belts they had so they adopted the style into their culture as those men went back home at the end of their service time.

Castellio is also a pretty warm place but if they get cold they will wear layers.

Average Castellion men look like this:

Rural men will look dress in proper rancher styles because it's practical. A lot of their clothes are hand me downs from their fathers and grandfathers, so they are more sentimental in that sense and take great care of their clothes. If it's cold? They throw on a hand woven poncho made by their wife, mom, or abuela. Also they are pretty stubborn on wearing belts rather than suspenders because they want to stick more to Castellion tradition rather than adopt anything Romandian.

Upper class menswear is a little stuck in the mid 1800s style, it's a tad outdated with its frills and puffs but they still like them. Their outfits tend to be form-fitting and with toned down colors. Unlike the pictures however, they wear their pants all the way down to their ankles not to their knees.

(^imagine this but new looking^)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I ran out of images allowed in one post for the Romadians so I will make another post for them! 😭

[fictionadventurer]

I went into Ruth expecting a dreary read. How could a Victorian "fallen woman" story be anything other than dark and depressing? So I was shocked right from the beginning to find a sweet, gentle, romantic story. The dressmaker's apprentice who sits in the coldest, darkest part of the workroom because that's where there's a panel painted with flowers that remind her of her country home? How could I not adopt her as a favorite character? Ruth's innocent, romantic outlook on life gave us some beautiful descriptions of the scenery of both city and countryside, and my imagination went on overdrive to create very vivid images of the story. Even the love story, which we know is going to go very wrong, starts out sweet, with a kind, charming love interest who only shows flashes of just how wrong his character is going to go.

Even after Ruth's fall, the story is so gentle, putting Ruth among kind people who are willing to risk and sacrifice a lot to help her. And then the story gets almost too gentle--after some initial struggles with depression, Ruth resolves to bear her troubles patiently and work toward virtue, and her sweet, too-innocent character gets flattened out into someone who's just Good. Life just goes on, with things generally going well, and every potential turn toward drama results in someone deciding to be reasonable, which can make the story drag.

But, in a story like this, the lack of drama becomes the plot twist! It is refreshing to see characters who don't always jump to the worst conclusion or take the worst action, who pause and consider the whole story and act like decent human beings.

And in the places when the drama does kick in, it's good drama. Painful drama. It's also (especially in the last section of the story) melodrama. There were sections of the book where I was rolling my eyes at the cookie-cutter Victorian path the story was taking--but then there'd be one line or one moment that would just stab me in the chest because of how beautifully specific it was to this story. Just enough to elevate it from something bland to something unique and fascinating.

I often had the thought that this book could be about a third of its length without losing anything--yet it should also be just as long as it was. If the story cut all its repetitive musings about Ruth's regret, and used that space to develop the side characters and and show the plot instead of telling us about it, it would be a much deeper story. I found myself wishing Gaskell had reworked this one later in her career--the way that North and South was a more skillful reworking of the issues explored in Mary Barton. In a way, she sort of did in Wives and Daughters, with the story of Molly the quiet innocent getting tangled up in the intrigues surrounding her headstrong, flirtatious stepsister Cynthia serving as a more layered, personality-flipped version of the story where headstrong, sheltered Jemima gets tangled in the story of quiet, sweet Ruth and her past romantic intrigues. (The doctor at the end of the story also feels like a proto-Mr. Gibson).

Yet I'm still fascinated by the themes specific to this story. Contrary to expectation, this "fallen woman" story isn't about sex, or gender, or how unfairly women are treated (though it does touch on that in the end). It's about sin. It's not questioning why Ruth's behavior is considered a sin or looking to dismantle the society saying that it's a sin. It comes from the Christian perspective of saying that sin is real and harms people--so how are we going to deal with that?

The story shows lots of people struggling with temptation, failing, and dealing with the consequences (or harming others with the consequences). Sin is always a case of either not caring enough to do the more difficult, good thing, or a case of "the ends justify the means", where people rationalize their bad behavior as something necessary in this specific case. It always leads to harm, but some people--and some sins--suffer greater consequences in the eyes of the world, whether or not they deserve it. I wish the story had developed and resolved this theme better in places, but the raw material there is fascinating food for thought.

This book is Gaskell at her preachiest, but also Gaskell at her kindest. It explores deep, difficult issues in a very loving way. As a story, there are ways it could be better, but I'm very glad I read it. Perhaps I'm making a point to be kinder to it because I know it's the type of story that today's readers tend to judge harshly. But amid my issues with the story, there are some lovely images, some great messages, and some wonderful characters that going to be living in my heart for a long time.

[shiny-jr]

hi! i was looking at your twst mythical creatures au(?) and i'm really thinking abt nøkken/ningyo octavinelle atm

– Warning: Slightly yandere? Not really though. Gender-neutral reader. Mention of a lot of death though.

– Character: Azul Ashengrotto.

– Note: I actually preferred the Nixie/Näcken for Azul, since I plan for each dorm to be loosely based off mythical creatures and stories from the region where they might be located. Again though, did not think I would actually write anything for this au, but I just got an idea when I saw this so I had to. Also, not everyone in the dorm will be the same. There may be some similarities, like in the larger dorms like Heartslabyul with Ace + Cater being the same and Trey + Deuce being the same creature, or in the case of brothers like Jade + Floyd or Idia + Ortho. Anyways, continuing.

All the locals knew that these creeks and rivers and lakes all led back to one source, the ocean. It wasn't too far away, if you just followed the direction in which the river flowed, you would get there. However, no one ventured out into the wilderness as often as they used to. Rumors spoke of an increase in beasts in the area, especially in the waters, inhuman creatures that would prey upon any helpless victim that neared.

Sometimes, especially those close to the deep unknowns of the ocean, bodies were discovered, torn and ripped apart like a half-eaten meal from whatever fearsome beasts lay out there. Most of the time, only severed appendages were discovered when washed up on shore, like a leg or an arm. Perhaps that's why many fisherman moved from the sea to the rivers, but it wasn't as if that stopped the casualties from rising. Yet to those poor men and women that depended on fishing for their way of living, the rivers were preferable. At least if they died there, it might be peaceful. When a corpse was discovered in the rivers of the woods, they were usually fully intact and they had a smile on their face and closed eyes as their bodies floated down the river, as if they experienced a peaceful sleeping death. It brought a strange sort of comfort to the fishermen, because if they died in these woods, at least it wouldn't be torture. The only odd thing about the bodies discovered in the rivers, were that valuables such as jewelry, coins, and other sparkling treasures were usually taken.

Personally, you weren't too keen on even going near the beaches due to the reports and stories. However, the woods was another thing. In the woods, there was plenty of land, it wasn't entirely water, so you felt a bit safer there. But you weren't foolish enough to willingly go towards the river, especially by yourself. So you merely kept away from any water source bigger than a puddle whenever you would go forage for berries and wild garlic.

The grass was wet with fresh dew, patches of trees and barren dirt ground were coated with a soft layer of moss. It smelt of pine and rain, the gray clouds a good distance away over the hills and mountains signaled that a light rain might be arriving later. The sun shining through the branches provided a pleasant warmth over your skin. In your basket you carried berries and mushrooms you forged already, making sure to leave just enough for next time. As you walked, avoiding the increasing number of puddles and trying not to step on the pretty white flowers growing among the clovers, you admired the flowing creek just down the sloping hill you were on. Everything was going so well, you felt as if you could admire the butterflies floating about and birds twittering for hours. It was perfect, until it wasn't––

You detected notes from an instrument, that played a curious tune and instantly caused you to stop in your tracks and raise your head. It sounded like... a piano? What was a piano doing in the middle of the woods? Almost instantly, as soon as you processed the first notes, the noise made your head pound, its enchanting melody throbbing in your skull. Your vision became distorted and you were moving–– not by your own free will. You felt your legs moving, and so were your arms, you were inching forward on your toes, as if being dragged forward in a trance and awkward dance. The notes of the piano became so loud that it was drowning out your thoughts of panic and confusion, even as you attempted to cover your ears, your feet still marched forward on their own and the notes echoed within the confines of your mind no matter how hard you tried to block it out. You couldn't even think straight.

You had no choice when you were sent toppling down the grassy slope, the berries and mushrooms you worked so hard to forge falling out of the basket you carried as you fell into the river with a loud splash! Thankfully, the music stopped, you could finally hear your own thoughts again, and you were able to regain control of your limbs to swim back to the surface of the water. You clung to the closest stone, eyes wide and now soaked to the bone. Your eyes landed on a pair of legs, feet bare and dipped into the water. Slowly your eyes travelled upwards, surprised to see a man seated on the very rock in the middle of the river you were now clinging to dear life for.

The young man smiled down at you softly, although you didn't like the strange glint in his eyes. His hair–– his hair was an odd white, wavy yet soft looking, not to mention dry looking too. Which was strange considering he was literally in the middle of a river, but to be fair he was seated on a dry rock. However, what caused you to freeze, was what was at his fingertips. Light, a soft purple light that formed the shape of the keys of a piano, like odd magic. Upon removing his hand from it, the lights disappeared, leaving you stunned. What was that...?

"Ah, that didn't take very long. Certainly much longer than last time to find a patron!" He spoke extravagantly, reminding you a lot of the smooth fast-talking merchants back in town. Was he some sort of magic user...?

Your eyes landed on his clothing, finding it somewhat familiar. A black tunic with long sleeves and a matching pair of pants, the second layer was a purple vest sewn with little patterns of golden seashells, a thick gray coat that reached to his thighs with golden patterns on the edges and white fur on its hood. Not to mention, lots of shining accessories. A ring, bracelets, earrings, necklaces of gold and silver, he even wore silver glasses and had a pouch fat with coins tied to his hip. Then it came to you. Those were all stolen.

When a body was found by the river, people assumed it was a simple murder when the person's black clothing was missing. When a victim was found without their beloved gray coat, everyone guessed that the victim had lost it. Then there was the fact that bodies found floating down the river were all missing valuables, shiny valuables, and this man had so many... Without even thinking, you blurted out, "If you're looking for shiny stuff, you're wasting your time."

"I realize that." The young man said while doing a once over of you, looking particularly unimpressed since you looked like a cat that fell in a tub of water. Slowly he shrugged, averting his gaze away, "Well, since you have no use to me––"

"Wait!" He stopped, listening to your words as you proceeded carefully. "I might have more to offer than gold and silver if you let me live."

At that, he raised an eyebrow, a sly smile appearing on his face as he glanced back at you. "Oh? Are you proposing a deal? That's brave of you, it's amusing! Alright, I'm listening. First, the formalities. Every proper business deal must have the formalities first. My name is Azul, and as your astute observations have picked up by now, I am not like you. So, what is your name and what will you bargain to me?"

[rise-my-angel]

just thinking of modern reader wanting to take little eddard to somewhere hot like dorne (because her baby deserves the best to be splashing in the warm sea) and of course jon would never say no but picturing him all hot and bothered, hair tied up, HATING the sun, frown on his sweating face but eddard having the time of his life in a cute little bathing suit and sunhat splashing about

scratch that thinking of it in the main timeline too, when everything has calmed down (will it ever though realistically) in a dream world where they can happily travel to all the kingdoms peacefully and eddard can experience every corner of westeros…SAFELY. But we all know jon wouldn’t know how to act seeing reader in dornish clothes…in fact SHE wouldnt know how to act and be incredibly flustered by the style of dress.

I NEED TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS OR IF THIS WOULD BE ACCURATE

Oh my god, so modern au Jon is peak miserable. It's hot, he's sweating, he doesn't want to just wear his trunks because theres a lot of people around the beach even though he took you to a more private area. But you are up by the water, your bathing suit underneath a very sheer and translucent sort of beach dress that can get wet, as you kneel down in the tides, and hold little Eddard. Mimicking where you go out into the waves and jump along side each one, but with a tiny baby. His little arms just splash around as he giggles, turning at one point wanting Jon to come join.

He finally just sucks it up and takes his shirt off (he notices a few girls some feet away now looking at him and hes incredibly uncomfortable), but comes over to join you. You three spend a lot of time by the water edge because at any point while your even just sitting on the blanket relaxing, the baby will crawl over to splash his hands and feet in the water with a giggle, always ending up getting one of you wet all over again when you go to grab him.

Eventually he gets tired, and Jon carries him high up on his chest while he naps with one hand, and holding your hand in the other as you both walk along the beach edge as it turns to evening. You gently asking if he had fun, and Jon admits while he did, he only had fun because he was with you two. You could go to a little lake in the wolfswood and he'd have fun. But he is not suited for the heat.

Main story, in a perfect world where for some reason you end up visiting Dorne, its so different. Because of the heat, you are prompted to wear dresses made locally for Dornish weather and you are so much more exposed this way. Your insecure to the point you have a shall wrapped around you trying to hide how much skin is exposed even though here it isn't seen as a negative thing.

Jon loves and hates it. Now he gets to see you wear such beautiful dresses that show you off, but thats the thing. They also show you off, and men all like to look at you now. And he hates it. He isn't dressed too differently then normal, just a few less heavy layers, but you are dressed like the other highborn dornish women and you stand out because of it.

His saving grace is that you have little Eddard with you, who now is a bit older and looks a bit more obviously like Jon, so when people see you, then the baby, then look at Jon, its clear you are off limits.

It's a bit more emotional in the main series, since at one point, Jon takes the time to ride out with you and the baby to where the Tower of Joy used to stand. Since he knows all the truth of what happened there, its a rather quiet time but it helps Jon just a little bit more to feel a bit more at ease in Dorne, that at least even here of all places hes somewhat connected to his mother.

It's less of a fun trip then in the modern au, since its likely more a political visit or something of the sort, but Jon finds he really enjoys how much more relaxed Dorne is about things, and finds he can be physically affectionate with you in public and its not even batted an eye at. Its a little break from how he always has to be King in the North, that here he doesnt have to always act like it.

He does take home one of the dresses with him, he has no idea when you'd ever wear it again for him but he wants to keep it just in case.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Sorry this might be considered rude but I mean nothing bad by it, but when you say you weren’t conventionally attractive, do you mean that in actuality or in a anti black way(not from your side, but societally)? I’m asking because I see so many especially black women who think they aren’t attractive and a lot of the time they are, just not perhaps by the european white and bright standards. Not talking that all are necessarily model attractive, though i’ve even seen that, but averagely pretty women thinking they are genuinely ugly too. It just breaks my heart and yeah, sorry if i came across as rude!

Not rude at all! I actually really like this question!

Was I unattractive in a universally unconventional way or an anti-black unconventional way? I grew up in California so the range of people I was around, specifically where I'm at, were white and Hispanic. I did experience racism and I was sort of ostracized from a lot of other black girls (not all! black girls/women from infinity to infinity) because I was admittedly a bit awkward in high school and whether it is attributed to a personal lack of wealth or just my budding style of casual/androgyny, I didn't dress particularly feminine.

To be perfectly fair but aware of my own self-biases and continuous work towards my self-worth, I think it is a little bit of both. Do I think I'm hideous? Do I think I am incapable of being desired? No. Because for one thing, it has happened, and even if it hadn't, I have just never considered myself to be "ugly" or whatever. I think for a long while, I attributed people's lack of interest in me (high school) to my weight. Which was a part of it. But I knew black girls at my school who I literally thought were gorgeous get shit on for their looks, so I knew there was a little more to it than I'd once thought.

Kind of rambling because I actually had to think about it! I think it is really easy for some black women to forget the second layer of bullshit we put up with, and compare ourselves on a European scale of looks.

Thank you for this question, anon. Genuinely. Sometimes no level of self-auditing is as insightful as an outside perspective/query. 💜

[bomberqueen17]

caught up

Ha so i managed to watch all the episodes of the new Witcher season this weekend, so now i can -- let's be real I wasn't avoiding spoilers before, but like, I've read the books right, it's like, there's only so much they can do to surprise me. (below discussion is not in-depth or spoilery, more general and I don't have a ton of time so not meant to be anything profound)

I see they've taken Cahir's character in a delicious other direction-- book!Cahir is a dutiful young fanatic whose youth and relative inexperience is kind of critical to his character (and kind of parallels Ciri's contemporary journey, as she goes from being an idealistic child through all the things she goes through, he also is humbled and shamed and loses his idealism and his fanaticism gets a layer of tarnished desperation and then he finds his humanity etc-- chefkiss), but the Netflix version is an older, more deeply-committed fanatic, more intimately and personally tied to the ruler he serves so faithfully. They've also done some worldbuilding for Emhyr's missing years that I think is very interesting. It's funny, Cahir's actor is too old (but a great actor), and Emhyr's is too young, they've tried to age him up but he's like. Well he's like thirty. It hits weird. But, television, that's how television is.

I was using my sister's television since i had the house to myself, and could not figure out how to get subtitles on, so any of the lines that were whisper-growled-- that is to say almost all of them-- were largely unintelligible to me. But many of the ones I could make out were also just-- word salad, pretty things strung together for the vibe, so I don't feel like I missed out. You just had to get the gist, and sometimes it was an incredibly impactful book line that they crammed in there kind of unearned, but if you recognized it you could imbue it with the correct meaning yourself. This is not really a criticism. The whole thing was so rushed because they had to cover like 20 episodes' worth of material in eight, so it was just cruising on vibes and did so I think admirably, conveying a lot of worldbuilding complexity without having really a moment to get into it, and shorthanding character development in snappy one-liners that were pretty effective if you just. Suspended disbelief about literally any kind of logistics.

I did like some of the details they did choose to give us. Cool themes with Ciri, which I think convey the entire message of the book extremely well. And like-- when she's exposed to a bunch of sunlight, they showed her suffering with sunburn. That's a great grounding little bit of detail, even if it went away by the next scene because there wasn't time-- such a good detail, really eloquently conveyed by the framing and the actress and the props.

It's like.... an incredibly abbreviated art form, where they're doing grand gestures of vibes to get the story across.

Absolutely perfect for fanfic, LOL. There's really no well thought out detail to contradict so you've got a largely blank canvas. I also have deep regret that I don't think I can retcon my fic Keira into the Keira from Netflix who was both hot and had like, the perfect earthy practical personality, fuck she's good. Relatedly I loved the detail of how in the books Margarita Laux-Antilles was described as the most beautiful women in the world, and they cast a fat Black woman to play her, an absolutely gorgeous fat Black woman, and there in every scene of the sorceresses being beautiful were several fat women being beautiful too. It's something, ok.

I kept being like "omg woman hot" as i was watching, which was funny. I was by myself though, so it was fine, no one was there to witness my incoherence except the discord channels i kept typing into the wrong ones of.

one tiny sort of spoilery bit: i loved the delicious scene with Ciri confronting Cahir, but it was so rushed it was awkward, instead of showing us much they just had to have Cahir say it, and it was-- well the vibes were fucking delicious, but the execution kind of clumsy. But as I don't plan to rewatch, have zero fear that in my head I will rebuild this myself into something absolutely fucking perfect and id-tastic. Alas that we lost the book vibe where she clearly hadn't really realized he was a person until she knocked his helmet off and saw his stupefyingly blue eyes etc., and his terror and such, but i'm just gonna go ahead and fold that back in there in my mental recreation of it, don't worry. LOL if it worked for you as shot I Do Not Blame You.

oh also i'm in love with Philippa and now i feel bad i was so careless with her in my fic. Maybe I need to give her a bit more depth. I used her game characterization, I admit it, and Netflix did so well by her I'm sort of ashamed I didn't think of her like that.

[margridarnauds]

@too-fond-to-be-fearful @moonlarking

Okay, so Fomoire Drama Time --

Generally, with criticism of CMT, we say that you have about three generations represented in the text -- there's the older members of the Tuatha Dé (the Dagda, Ogma, Nuadu), a middle generation (Míach, Airmed, Bres, Óengus), and a younger, up and coming generation (Lug). Lug is born during Bres' reign, but Bres is still a generation behind people like the Dagda. (And yeah, you'll notice how screwed and tragic Bres' generation is, sharing it with Míach.) (In headcanon territory, I also like to think that Bres is of an age with Étaín, even if she doesn't show up here.)

We have less on the Fomoire, so this is not me speaking as an Academic, it's me pointing out different strands and what I make of them on an informal level. You have older members of the Fomoire -- Balor, Indech, Elatha, and Tethra seem to be the hard hitters, since they're the ones who are invading Ireland during Bres' reign. Indech and Elatha are both described as kings of the Fomoire, and Balor is old enough to have a daughter of marriageable age when the TDD invade Ireland. Therefore, as two young adults at about the same time, Ethniu is likely of an age, roughly, with Bres, the two cousins are both part of that middle generation. (And then her son makes Bres' life a living Hell.)

But then we see this...sort of shadow generation that you catch glimpses of in the actual battle. Balor's twelve sons, who don't do all that much. The sons of Tethra, who are more useful of Tochmarc Emire.

Bres' son, Ruadán, who is described as being a man but, by all the laws of mathematics, he couldn't have been more than 30 when he died, and I'd honestly wager for early twenties as far as age. And the text specifies that, when he dies, he dies "in the presence of his father." We focus a lot on Bríg in this scene, understandably given it's a very poignant scene and really shows the cost of this conflict on the mothers, but no one ever points out that *he died in BRES' PRESENCE.* When I really want to hurt myself, I like to think about what "in his presence" meant. Did he collapse at Bres' feet? Did Bres hold him when he died? Did he collapse a little bit further away, so Bres only just missed being able to hold his son one last time? Was he too shocked to do anything? Bres isn't given any other children by the text, even though we see him with other children in other texts. There's one Dindshenchas text, the Dindshenchas of Bréfne, which gives Bres a daughter, Indusa/Innus, who dies via a deed of "manly might", in a tract that mentions Balor's army. Did she die fighting for...or against the Fomoire? Or did she die in a separate conflict? Either way, it wasn't natural. In that same tract, Bres is called "búain" -- "lasting, enduring; constant, firm, persevering." In the Dindshenchas of Cairn huí Néit, Bres is described as having died "without prosperous issue." I'm not saying that the implication in all three texts is that Bres outlived any and all children that he had, but I think that's a reading you could make. And this is AFTER his father demonstrated, very clearly, that he was kind of embarrassed by him and really pulling away from him, adding another layer of disfunction to the mix.

And then you have whatever the Hell's going on with Indech's line. Specifically, his daughter. She isn't given a name. She's always "Indech's daughter", she's described as being strikingly beautiful, and she has sex with the Dagda. She leaves the Fomoire for the Tuatha Dé. She's not really discussed all that often, but I have a lot of thoughts about her. (No, really, ask me about my thoughts on her and specifically how I'm interested in adapting her.) She and Ethniu are both Fomorian women who go to the Tuatha Dé, one as part of an arranged marriage, the other because the sex was great. I sometimes wonder how she fared after everything, as a foreigner whose father was one of the invaders. Did she form an alliance with the other Fomoire who were there? Did she mourn her father's death? Did she not care? Regardless, she's remarkably proactive, strong-willed, and sharp in the one scene we get of her.

His son Ochtriallach only gets a couple of lines but HE'S weird as well, more to come on that. He doesn't die, but he does pop up a little bit -- he fights and kills two of the Tuatha Dé's poets and is the one who orders the Tuatha Dé's healing wells to be stopped after Ruadán's death. Which. I can understand why some retellings make it so that it's Bres who gives that order, because it's WEIRD. It isn't said to be explicitly in response to Ruadán's death, but it's put so closely next to it that it's hard not to draw a connection. (Yes...I headcanon the two of them as lovers. OBVIOUSLY not present in the original text, I'm not claiming it is, but we know I'm always trying to make CMT gayer. I also headcanon the Daughter of Indech and Indusa as being girlfriends, because apparently Indech's line has a Thing for Bres'.)

And then we have Duirgen. Who does not appear in CMT, but in a later Dindshenchas tract, where we learn that she found out her mother was having sex with a slave instead of her father, told her father, and in vengeance, her mother told Indech, who was a kinsman of hers, to take revenge on Duirgen. He propositioned Duirgen, who fought back, and he finally killed her. I think about her more than I probably should given that she's a character who appears so briefly. That Indech actually tried to have sex with this girl whose mother is at least a kinswoman of his, who, by all implications, seems to be much younger than him. That she was just...tossed aside like that. The way her story links up with that unnamed daughter's, as both of them are kinswomen of Indech who defy him.

The point is that we don't get much on the younger generation of the Fomoire, I wouldn't argue the point TOO strongly, but I think it's very possible to make a reading that says that the Fomoire were portrayed, both in this text and in some of the later texts, as falling apart at the seams, and I think about them very much in the mode of Greek tragedy (that's not INCLUDING Balor's story, since that's another example of Fomorian Family Drama). The Tuatha Dé are going to eventually (and in the early modern recension, they ARE), but at least they have a Lug. At least they have an Óengus. Or an Airmed. Relationships between parents and children among the TDD are strained, but they EXIST, whereas with the Fomoire...it feels like this generation (and the slightly older generation) is being eaten alive. They don't have a Lug, they don't have a future. They are going to be utterly destroyed, either in exile (voluntary or not), dead from the war, or the victims of their own family members.

[hayatoseyepatch]

Hihi Sam !! 💕 I saw you were doing a matchup event (congrats on the 500 followers btw !!) and thought I’d give it a go !! <33

For my personality, I’d say I’m pretty outgoing? I’m definitely more-so on the extroverted side, I’m very talkative and sometimes loud, I would also say I’m pretty loving and care deeply for those I cherish, I’m super affectionate ! I also can kinda get stressed & anxious easily, I tend to take on a lot of things at once, so I’m a bit of an over achiever and a bit too much of a perfectionist which can sometimes attribute to my stress but I try my best to take things one at a time it’s just a bit of a bad habit of mine <33 I’m also definitely the sort of person who’d send you memes or songs that remind me of people 💕 I’m a good listener and try to be there for everyone, but I can also be pretty stubborn and a little sarcastic at times 😭 I’m also pretty competitive, but I usually try to make those around me comfy & happy !! 💖 I love skincare, so I also enjoy my quiet time & peace 💗 I have a pet rabbit, I love fashion & anime/manga, I also love shows like Bridgerton and I love reading too !! I love art museums, parks, gardens, flowers, poetry !! I’m a bit of a sap & very much a romantic ! I love the night but I also love sunrises ⛅️

As for the fandoms, I love a lot of the ones you mentioned but I think I’d like to be paired up with one of the Windbreaker boys if possible !! I’m all caught up with the manga and it’s just been living in my mind rent free at the moment lol, it’s just so good 🫶 as for my favorite characters, I would say Umemiya, Suo, Kiryu, Endo & Chika !!

I have a lot of favorite tropes! Such as the classic enemies to lovers, soulmates, opposites attract, right person wrong time, ext !! I love sm different tropes tbh, even the angsty and heartbreaking ones !!

I’m not sure if I have type? I find things to love about a specific person if that makes sense? If I had to say anything though, I would say I like pretty smiles & someone who is dependable 💗

And I have no icks in particular regarding Windbreaker !! I think they’re all great 💕

But yeah !! That’s about it, sorry I wrote sm 😭 but tysm for ur time ! 🥰

Thank you for the congrats anonie and for participating in my event! No please thank YOU the more you guys write the more fun I get to have and more tailored I can be to you! I hope you enjoy!

I pair you with Mitsuki Kiryu from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Oh my goodness I just think you and Kiryu would be such a match made in heaven! As someone who puts a lot into his style, Kiryu so appreciates your interest in fashion. The two of you spending your time shopping and curating matching outfits is something he thoroughly enjoys.

⤜♡→ I feel like Kiryu is very into the arts. Museum dates are an absolute MUST. He just loves going through the exhibits listening as you gush to him about your favorite pieces, and giving you his own tidbits of the history of pieces that he’s researched on his own.

⤜♡→ Kiryu is shown in his character page to have respect for women and looks up to his older sister. So I feel like he is very much in touch with his feminine energy, loving doing skincare with you and watching shows others would consider unmasculine. He couldn’t care less, so long as he is with you and he can see you happy that’s all he cares about.

⤜♡→ I refuse to believe that Kiryu isn’t a romantic. He spends so much time planning your dates. He gets so excited when he’s able to incorporate your interests into his plans. He loves peeling back your layers and getting to know you so he could share your interests with you and his own with you in return.

 Kiryu smiled, leaning back on your bed, his hands resting on your thighs as you straddled his waist. You are applying the face mask to his skin. He tried to keep his face serious, chucking at the cute way you stick out your tongue as you focus in delicately applying it around his piercings. “Stop moving.” You sass, seeing how he was holding back his laughter. “Unless you want this peel off to take your eyebrows with it handsome.” He melts, always swooning when you called him that, it didn’t matter how long you had been together. He simply couldn’t help it. “Fine, fine, but hurry up because I need to know if Colin finds out why Penelope and Eloise really aren’t talking anymore.” He catches your giggle, careful not to smile too much and mess up your hard work. Nights like these were his favorite. The both of you curled up on the couch. Holding you in his arms while you both do the steps to your skincare routine. Watching your most recent favorite show just the two of you. Quality time was one of Kiryu’s love languages and he adores just taking you in as much as possible.

The two of you had a long day today, with the summer coming to a close and the weather cooling as fall loomed over the horizon the two of you had taken advantage of the beautiful weather. Kiryu having set up a nice picnic for you both in the park. People watching as you both sat and appreciated the summer flowers that would soon be gone as fall strolled in. As you finished up putting the mask on his skin, he was careful when pressing a kiss to your lips not wanting to mess up the masks on your faces as you both headed to the living room. As the classical music filled the room, he held you against his chest. He couldn’t be more grateful to have you in his life. And he would be content so long as he continued to have moments like these for the rest of his days.

[garden-ghoul]

Happy Gushiwensday Sunday! We had to take an extra day to think about this very tricky poem by Ouyang Xiu, to the tune of "Butterflies Love Flowers."

Returning from the painted pavilion. Ah, late spring: swallows flirting around their mates, graceful willows and trysting peachblossoms (denuded by a solid sky of drizzle and a courtyard full of wind). I frown austerely, though no-one's around to see. Alone, I lean on the crooked railing, muddled in mind. The perfumed grasses are dressed to impress in fine green silk. They recall that night, the river in Nan'an--- moonlit nights are heartless, and people change in the dark. Stumble memory to memory like a dream of desolation.

Lots of notes and original text under the cut.

蝶恋花·画阁归来春又晚

画阁归来春又晚。燕子双飞，柳软桃花浅。细雨满天风满院，愁眉敛尽无人见。 独倚阑干心绪乱。芳草芊绵，尚忆江南岸。风月无情人暗换，旧游如梦空肠断。

Ouyang Xiu is WAY too clever for me. In this poem he uses a ton of rebracketing tricks, where dividing a phrase at one point makes it mean one thing and dividing it at another point makes it mean a different thing. And on top of that he's using a LOT of idioms so you also have the connotative and denotative layers lying on top of each other like transparencies. I really picked a hard-mode poem this time! Let's get to it!

flirting around their mates --- literally "flying in pairs," with a connotation of marital bliss.

graceful willows --- willows are often compared to women in romantic poetry, and vice versa.

trysting peachblossoms --- it just says peachblossoms, but they also function as a symbol of love affairs. 浅 can mean shallow or light-colored, but also thin; Baike's annotations interpreted this as petals continuously shaken from the trees so they start to look bare. "Denuded," of course, also evokes taking off your clothes.

crooked railing --- 独倚阑 means "I lean against the railing" but 阑干 means crisscrossed or disordered, emphasizing the disorder we've already got at the end of this line! I originally translated this line as "With only myself to rely on, I have a confused, disordered mind."

The perfumed... green silk --- literally "fragrant grass is green and luxuriant." But as we've seen before, "fragrant grass" is an idiom for marriageable young people, so I tried to evoke a sort of cotillion.

Nan'an --- a district in Chongqing, but very possibly just a generic term for the south bank. Kept this because it sounds good.

Moonlit nights --- literally "wind and moon." This evokes variously romance, beautiful scenery, or petty topics.

heartless --- another fantastic rebracketing. If you break between the fourth and fifth character, as is customary for seven-character lines, you get 无情, no feelings. However, if you include the next character too you get 无情人 no sweetheart!

people change in the dark --- a continuation of the rebracketing thing in the middle of this line. If you read "I have no sweetheart," the end of this line could be something like "to exchange [gifts] with in secret/at night." If you read "heartless," you get "people exchange/transform in the dark/in secret." Given how much use Ouyang Xiu is getting out of alternate readings here, I think we're intended to see multiple versions at once. This could be "people change when you're not looking," it could be "people cross over" or even "people pass away."

Stumble memory to memory --- 旧游 literally "old tour," idiomatically to take a tour of places where you have memories. I put "stumble" here to echo the disordered mind and the broken heart.

dream of devastation --- more rebracketing, kind of? Breaking at the fourth character gives us "visiting old haunts as if in a dream, empty and heartbroken." But you can also read "empty dream of heartbreak." The reason I've used devastation here is... heartbreak didn't sound good as a final word. The word I actually wanted to use was חורבן / churban, but this is an English translation, so.

Anyway here's an additional literal translation, to show what it would be like if we only included denotative meanings:

Returning from the painted pavilion in late spring. I see swallows flying in pairs, supple willows and thinning peachblossoms. The whole sky is fine rain, and the whole courtyard is wind. I frown, completely self-controlled; I can see no-one. Alone, I lean on the crooked railing, my mind in disarray. The fragrant grass is luxuriantly green. I remember the Yangtze South Bank. The moon and wind are heartless, people exchange in the dark. I visit old haunts as if dreaming, empty and heartbroken.

[rosysunsetz]

Some info about my Oc

She's 19 and the younger sister to Connie.

She's blonde naturally, which she got from her dad. (a/n: idk what her parents look like or their hair color so im making stuff up)

She's always been more like her dad while Connie is more like their mom.

Connie's overprotective to an extent. She's not overbearing, but she cares deeply for Claudia and wants the best for her. She would do anything for Claudia, and likewise.

Claudia is one of those girls who makes jokes in stressful situations as a way to cope, and she does this in the worst times sometimes.

She has no filter. She's not afraid to cuss anyone out, even if she's so sweet, and sometimes it gets her in trouble.. Because she calls out the wrong person and then shes stuck in a bad situation so

She's sassy. Its an epidemic of sassy women in the game so she's sassy too. She's always been sassy and growing up, she would hear her mom sass her dad so she just naturally picked it up.

She loves doing her hair. She curls it and has it in layers.

She's so sweet. Even though she's sassy and straightforward, she's also one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. She would be the type to help old ladies across the street or do something for someone for free just because they need her help. She's always willing to help and incredibly selfless.

She's a lot like Julie in a way. She is definitely sassing the killers when shes fighting them and she will literally call them out if they say something that's weird. Like Johnny will be walking around and say that line where its "You ever watch someone die?" And she would just be hidden with her face scrunched in disgust and she is totally judging him.

She's a fighter, through and through. That girl can and will fight until the end. Even if she's limping and bleeding out, she will still try and fight. That's who she is.

Like her sister, she's witty. It runs in the family.

She used to be considered mean just because she was pretty in highschool and there were a lot of dirty looks her way because of rumors of her. But she never let it get to her. She had her sister through it all and her own friend group.

She worked out for a bit in highschool. She would do it inconsistently, but it built up her upper body strength and her thighs.

She also used to work on the farm with her sister and family so she already was strong when she was like 12.

She has sort of Julie's style with the halter tops and like everyone else, she was wearing bell bottom jeans. She also loves necklaces and headbands. She wears a red slim headband, like her sister's, almost all the time. She also wears a cherry perfume.

(those are the sort of outfits she wears and if its not accurate to the 70s do not point it out idc these are my OWN delusions‼️‼️)

if she were alive nowadays, she would be a lana girlie.

in highschool, she learned to play the electric guitar because she was bored and wanted to.

she took french in high school because she thinks the language is seductive.

she wears a lot of red lipstick.

she's observant and honestly? doesn't trust new people easily. she is always alert and looking around her wherever she is.

she had a boyfriend in her sophomore year to her senior year of high school. they broke up because he was going to yale and she was going to the university of texas. his name was dean and he had dark blonde hair. he was really cute and sweet.

she will lie for fun sometimes. not for anything big like "oh our mom died" no like somebody asks where something went and she'll say "idk" even though she knows where it is. and then she'll go and get it and act like she just found it.

she's adored by pretty much all her friends. her whole friend group is close (leland, julie; connie, sonny, ana)

her and leland had an unofficial thing before ana and him started dating. claudia had the same class with him and she sat next to him one day because her usual seat was taken and then they started talking. and the talking led to dates and then that led to their unofficial relationship where they would always hold hands and be coupley but never put a label on it. and when her sophomore year started, the build up of assignments and the stress of college started and she couldn't see him as much as he wanted to see her and that led to them pulling apart. and then leland and ana started dating 3 months after that. claudia has no hatred or jealousy for ana, well, a little jealousy for what could've been her and leland but she never treated ana differently because of leland. she would never. she's a girls girl 100%.

when her and johnny meet, theres hidden tension that she notices but doesn't acknowledge.

she had found him attractive and wanted to know him better but then the whole being captured events happened and he showed his true colors, which made her pretty much hate him.

but then... he makes up for it in his own way and she, for some reason, ends up liking him. she knows he's bad and a literal killer but he's so dreamy and flirty it really won her over. not easily though.

[bi-kisses]

I cave. I was a radfem / am still one in theory but everyone is being ridiculously careless with their activism these days. I admit I rooted along for tighter regulations concerning transition particularly for children but it's apparent it doesn't stop there and whenever I tried voicing my concerns to other friends and groups I got belittled and told I was falling into the fearmongering of the TRA. And I also admit I believed that at first but now you can't ignore that the people advocating for the denial of the TRAs demands also cut into women's rights and that of homosexuals and protection rights. It's just too dangerous to play around like that - it doesn't feel like it's worth 'fighting' for if the result is this. Yeah I hurt when I think about the stories of TIMs slithering into our positions and spaces but compared to what is happening and planned to happen law-wise I hurt even more... So I no longer consider myself allied with radfems even though at core I have the same beliefs. I will not act on them. The execution of these are not progress in any way. So begrudgingly - in a two sides only system with no middle ground - I'll cave to their demands for the long run. Also I realise there are more moderate TRAs who acknowledge the two bio sexes (although they they still insist transitioning is possible) who also criticise the TRAs who are one the nonbinary trip (like you) but I honestly think we are all at a point where we can't refuse taking sides when the issue (to vote on) is black and white. Maybe that's just the election fear coming up. So my ask is to you as a kind of mediator/ person between the two sides: what's your take on this? Justified fear to have or baseless concerns? Is taking sides necessary?

Genuinely a really interesting thing to talk about!

I think that, the problem with "picking a side" in this case, is that beliefs aren't the same as actions. So when you hold opinions, they can be very nuanced and have layers regarding the validity of this or that identity, but when it comes to actually calling for societal change, that nuance is.... Flatter.

As a result, yeah, I think we *are* sort of forced to choose one extreme or the other, despite our beliefs falling somewhere in the middle, because there isn't any opportunity right now to push for those moderate views, legally speaking. The options are bodily autonomy for all, including transition, or restricting the rights of women and children.

I agree with a lot of tenants that radical feminists stand for, such as abortion rights, normalization of body hair, fighting porn culture/the sex industry, and being critical of the beauty industry (makeup, cosmetic surgeries, etc). But that doesn't mean I align myself with radical feminists, because ideologies don't own ideas outright, and I disagree with so many other core beliefs.

Radical feminists these days have prioritized their hatred for trans people, predominantly trans women, over the rights and autonomy of women in general. You're absolutely right and it's not an easy thing to admit, if you've been ascribed to a label and/or community for any length of time, that they're on the wrong side of things.

Because, circling back, it has become a matter of those two extreme sides, and radical feminism has chosen to fight for restricting everyone's rights out of hatred for <1% of the population.

To answer your questions directly, I do think there's justified concern. The UK is a great example of how poorly this is turning out. And if you plan on actually engaging in activism outside of the internet, I do think you have to choose a side, or at least a cause, to stake your effort into... Even if you aren't 100% on board with the cause as a whole.

I'll use my friend as an example. She's a trans woman living stealth and has been doing a lot of activist work advocating for Palestine. The committee she's a part of had a controversy because another member was accused of transphobia. This controversy was drawing away time and resources from their main cause, being Palestine. My friend honestly didn't give a shit if someone on the board had transphobic beliefs because that wasn't the point of what they were doing, so she tried to redirect that attention back to their work rather than internal conflict. She had to pick a side there, as a trans person, and she chose the pressing matter over the personal one.

I think it's something we can learn from and relate to.

I want to conclude by thanking you because your ask was really interesting as a fresh perspective. If you'd like to talk more, my DMs and ask box are open.