#and a heart to represent their love . heart emoji. um

[ttheoryofhappiness]

i modded my 2ds yesterday and while i was getting project mirai i drew this :-)

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Lol dingus is such a good word!!!! I'll be mega short w this bc I have a lot of other curiosities for you but

1 why do you think Igor went from laughing off Sev's 'ooh shut up meathead" stuff to being intimidated? Or whatever you think it was in Gob,,, and um

2 I saw you post Miss Macdonald and I was wondering if you had any rambles abt her :3

Anyway ur my fav lol UMMM bye bye :)

-🍃

Dingus is!!! MWAH!!! Also ahhhhh your fav [insert Debbie Ryan hair tucking emoji]

I think the change was that Severus finally had that upper hand on Igor that he'd wanted(??) but never quite managed because Igor would just laugh it off. Not even in a malicious way just in a sort of "you're so silly" sort of way. Their dynamic changed. Severus went from being a person he trusted to a person he still trusted but also to one he'd deliberately betrayed to save his own skin! That does something to a weirdly sexual pseudo friendship lmao. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this in exactly the right way but they're just jvnfjbngjb they're so complicated for a bunch of losers honestly

MISSS MARY MACDONALD!!!! The way I literally clapped my hands together and kicked my feet!! Yes I have rambles about her oh my gooood

I don't think about her as much as I should but urgh,, the woman that she is alright??

Mary was born Mary Aileen Macdonald in December 1959 in Scotland to muggle parents. She's the older sister of Michael Macdonald who was born four years after she was. She got her first name from her nan on her mum's side and her middle name from her nan on her dad's side. Growing up her dad was a greengrocer and she wanted to be one just like him. I feel like they could have had an English Cocker Spaniel when Mary was growing up though that might just be based off of the fact that I think that's an animal that represents her well

She was born with vitiligo and is mixed (Caribbean descent on her mother's side and Scottish on her dad's.) She's undoubtedly the prettiest girl in all of Gryffindor and she's known to be a bit boy crazy. I know some people hate this headcanon for her because female characters shouldn't revolve around male characters and I completely agree which is why that's not all she is!!! My girl Mary just falls in love easily and she always throws herself into her relationships. She's definitely got a bit of an insecurity about being loved for her body rather than her mind.

She is cherry!!! She owns that cherry red colour, she looks gorgeous in it and idk there's just something so cherry about her. She definitely wears cherry chapstick!! Those really cheap ones that smell lowkey super fake lol. Idk if cherry shampoo is a thing but if it is she's totally got it. I think Mary is a midsize queen and she rocks a fairly soft aesthetic that ends up looking a bit edgy because of all the red. She is the number one stealer of boyfriend hoodies/jumpers/jackets etc

During her time at Hogwarts she was sorted into Gryffindor and shared a dorm room with Marlene and Lily. I think she was a pretty average student. She wanted to be better but also she didn't want to devote more time than necessary to boring stuff like school lol. I do think she did really well in divination tho. She dotted all her i's with hearts and she made both M's in Mary and Macdonald into hearts (I made a little doodle to illustrate lol this is from the yearbook thing and I need to correct the D)

I think she's got a complex relationship with her sexuality. I'm kinda liking the idea of asexual Mary ngl. She's over sexualised by her peers and yet she didn't want one bit of it. She falls in love easily but why does everyone think that means she sleeps around?? She's extremely sex-positive and like,, wants sex for girls to be liberated and stigma-free and all that despite her asexuality and I think part of that comes from how people assume things about her and have no problem slutshaming her but they'd never do it to a guy like Sirius who actually slept around a tonne!! At some point, I'll do a fic or something deep-diving into Mary and her relationship with wanting love without it being connected to sex. Might be my first full-on MaryLily fic, who knows, I think they're cute sometimes

Speaking of Mary and girls I think she's so different with crushes on girls than on boys. With boys she's super out there, flirting, touching, batting her lashes etc but with girls she's much more shy and it's much more confusing for her but she's so sweet about it jnvjfnbjg

Just like how she loves loudly she laughs loudly. Her nose scrunches when she laughs. She makes sure all her friends get gifts from her at Christmas, even if it's just a small keychain or something from her dad's shop.

She spends ages getting ready in the morning and she spends ages in the bathroom in general making sure she smells nice, looks nice, the whole shebang. She loves to paint nails and she will offer to pierce your ears with nothing but an ice cube, a needle and a dream lmaooo

I think she was big into photography and she would run around with her muggle camera (that she put stickers and little sticky gems and stuff all over) taking pictures of everyone. Her patronus is a lamb because Mary had a little lamb!!!!

I don't think her dream of becoming a greengrocer stuck around tbh lol. I think she wanted to do something that could help other people and my Mary-as-a-healer dreams are out there but also my girl does not have the grades and she spent SO LONG sobbing in the girl's dorms when she found out she wouldn't be able to become a healer because of her lacking grades. I'm not sure what she ends up doing instead but I'd be so curious if anyone out there has any ideas!!

There's also the fact that Bruce Mulciber Jr and Edmund Avery Jr canonically assaulted her at some point during her time at school (at a time Severus and Lily were still talking so I'm thinking this went down in their fifth year) so there's also just,, that whole can of worms to look into. Igor Karkarov mentions that Mulciber (thought this could both be Junior and Senior) specialised in the Imperius curse though I doubt he'd have gotten away with assaulting anyone with the Imperius curse without being expelled; it just kinda tells you something about the stuff he's capable of/willing to do. I also believe it's actively Mulciber who attacks her and Edmund is more of a bystander?? I'm not entirely sure but that's how I understood it. I wouldn't be surprised if Edmund was the brain behind the whole thing though and cursed her to hang and dangle somewhere embarrassing by having her touch insert object someone would be likely to pick up off the floor or something like that

anyways that was my long ass starter ramble on the lovely Miss Macdonald now have a moodboard jngjbngjb

[agena87]

get to know a simmer

I was tagged by the awesome @igotsnothing. Thanks for thinking of me 💛

show your wallpaper: I answered a similar question HERE

last song you listened to: I'm currently listening to Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead.

currently reading: The Script book for Good Omens season 1 (some of Neil's directions/commentaries are hilarious)

last movie: Um, let's me check my Listography, 'cause I don't remember... OK, it was "Les 12 Travaux d'Astérix" (the 19th of March!)

last show: Good Omens (I'm preparing for next month ^^)

craving: something good to eat, but I can't pinpoint what, my mouth refuses to tell me (I think it's something sugary - but not too much -, with a soft texture, and probably cold)(yes, I feel in my mouth what food I wanna eat, so what?)

what are you wearing right now: panties and a Veronica Mars t-shirt (I'm in bed, it's 1:30AM)

how tall are you: 162 cm, I think.

piercings: I used to have my ears pierced (twice each) but I can't wear earrings any more because of hyper-sensibility, so they kinda aren't any more?

tattoos: plenty of small pick'n'poke all over my body, and a rather bigger one representing Grumpy from Disney's Snow White (also a stick'n'poke) on my thigh. All done by me.

glasses/contacts: Glasses, though I rarely wear them.

last thing you ate: Fake Feta cheese (it's not Feta if it's cow milk).

favourite colour: Red (though I have a rather big soft spot for yellow, if it wasn't obvious with the amount I use in my themes/pics + my more used emoji being the yellow heart ^^)

current obsession: Wolfgang Munch, Malcolm Landgraab, and my sweet baby OC, Alfie Dubois.

any pets: not for a few years, now.

favourite fictional character: The King of Self-Loathing, Emotional Constipation, and Denial: Dean Winchester. Because, I also have very low self-esteem (and a guilt complex that could fill a small moon), can't talk about emotions to save my life, and "Denial" might as well be my middle name.

But really, give me any (male, for some reason) character that hates himself and hides his self-hatred and low (if not non-existent) self-esteem behind a sassy and buffoon-y façade, and I'll fall in love with them (I'm looking at you Stiles Stilinski, Klaus Hargreeves, Nathan Young, Garrus Vakarian, the Master - OK, that one is not exclusively male -, Gwaine, or Spike). I guess, I also am a sassy buffon who hide their self-loathing behind a façade.

last place you traveled: Do you think I have money to travel? I'm an unemployed disable person, I don't travel. But, I went to see my grandma who lives about 800 km away (which is a rather long distance for France, OK? It totally count) last October.

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this!

[subwaybrothers]

im loving ur angel au so much!!! do you have more info about grimsley?? not only bc he is one of my favourite characters bit literally him being a fallen angel has me so excited to know more!!

Grimsley being a fallen angel is a large part of his character - it relates to what he thinks of people, what people think of him, and how he thinks of himself.

Being a fallen angel is seen as one of the worst things that could possibly happen, even though sometimes the line someone has to cross is something that many people do all the time without ever being seen as a problem. This is the case for Grimsley: there are plenty of casinos around the world - the only difference is that an angel runs his. If it weren't for the visual representation that he's 'a bad person', the league is quite sure no one would even question his morals

Of course, his morals are a little questionable, but that is something he keeps to himself. His beliefs are for himself alone, and no one else should have to worry about that. It becomes very tiring when people decide that he is 'evil' and 'should be kicked from the league' for having dark black wings. The press is... not great about anything, really, and they seem to find enjoyment in finding things he simply did not do and blame them on him?

He's absolutely the least liked leauge member by the masses.

This isn't to say that Grimsley dislikes being a fallen though. Certainly, the reactions to it are very annoying, and oh, how he wishes he could wake up in the morning without learning that there's some new rumor going around about him, but he does enjoy specific aspects of it.

First and foremost: the ability to simply pretend that he isn't an angel at all. The lack of primary flight feathers make his wings significantly smaller in wingspan, and as such, easier to hide. Since people are generally looking for flashes of white in between layers of clothes when they're suspicious of an angel in their midst, the dark colour throws many people off. Additionally, fallen angels lose their halos - the hardest part of an angel to hide, due to the fact that halos glow.

Secondly: it looks COOL. Grimsley doesn't believe in holiness, he doesn't believe in angel's divine right - he believes that he's just a guy who gained wings he never wanted. He thinks these new wings represent him better, and though he generally hides them when in public, he prefers them to the ones he had before. They're his - for him. He likes it that way.

Grimsley does miss flight, but his ability to pretend that he's just a Normal Person is more than really anyone else can say, and he can honestly say that if someone had a way to turn him back into an angel, full white wings and halo, he wouldn't take it. He regrets not flying more when he had the chance, but the pros outweigh the cons.

Grimsley's character is about acceptance. He's accepted this about him and has learned to love and prefer it, despite it all

Also his weird side hair things r supposed to look like wings. hes um. heart emoji me & my friend like putting wings in places they fit

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

fuck it, buddy & vespa & jet headcanons

collected and posted here because i don’t have fics to put these in currently but have some thoughts and would like to share

jet was beloved as a bartender at the lighthouse because he was “such a good listener.” this is an objectively true fact about him but buddy also has no idea how people ever got the impression jet was listening to them complain about their problems. he almost never spoke and his hands were never idle. despite the fact not one of them ever learned his name, many of them considered him “a friend.”

early in their friendship buddy probably thought none of her jokes landed for jet because he laughs internally and at some point jet eventually mentions he finds buddy very funny and she has to reevaluate her entire perception of their friendship (again)

(the first reevaluation happened right after he saved her life and is a headcanon i hold dear to my heart but i did not come up with it, please read If You’re Alive by FaintlyMacabre it gives me a lot of feelings)

the first time buddy ever made jet laugh out loud was after he sold the ruby-7 for her eye and when she next had enough income to spare, she bought him a pair of emerald green Fantasy Doc Martens. there was a note with them that said "mr. sikuliaq. to substitute for your car. --yours, buddy aurinko" he found it fucking hilarious

this is also why buddy found it funny but not implausible that jet referred to her as “my buddy” when talking about her to juno. she knows how he jokes by this point so the idea that he’s adopted “yours, buddy aurinko”/”my buddy” as an inside joke with her and himself is reasonable and also hilarious.

jet has a unique ability to make vespa laugh. he very rarely makes jokes for people other than himself but that doesn’t really matter because vespa vibes with him extremely well. she always picks up on when he’s messing with juno and she, too, finds it absolutely hysterical. she wishes she could pull that off

buddy doesn’t keep everyone’s names in her coms she just represents them with Appropriate Emojis and they’re this

vespa: 💚

jet: ♠️

rita: 🍦

pete: 🔪

but my personal favourite--

juno: ❌👄 👁

i did put part of this in a fic already but it’s worth mentioning again: buddy noticed jet was making a lot of (decaf) tea and thought it was because all their mugs were just too damn small for this giant of a man so she got him a jumbo mug that says “JET FUEL” on it and it is now his default mug. the reason he was making lots of tea tho is because he likes it scalding hot so he has to like keep reheating it in the space microwave to keep it Premium Temperature.

buddy had her hair pinned back away from her face for her wedding.  she didn’t want to hide any of herself that day because vespa loves all of her and this is a celebration of their lives and what they went through in their years apart is so important to their journey.

the reason juno doesn't comment on it is because he had just seen buddy on the shooting range in the literal same outfit and she always pins her hair back for practice, so he forgot that most of the time she keeps the eye covered

idk if this counts as a headcanon but i have to imagine that if buddy&vespa retire and jet does end up captaining the carte blanche with juno, pete, and rita as his crew that he will space skype buddy like at least twice a week and they will not even talk most of the time they’ll just vibe.

juno coming to find jet like "hey are you busy?" and jet is just sitting there reading a book, with buddy on fantasy skype drinking a glass of wine and doing sodoku puzzles, and jet is like "yes. i am on fantasy skype with buddy" and buddy's like "hello juno darling!"

and juno's like "um.. i can come back? but you guys are literally sitting here silently not doing anything" and buddy's like "and did he stutter? our schedule is to sit silently and do nothing together for another half hour"

[nct-jihee]

ㅈ ❝ MEET NCT’S FEMALE MEMBER : UM JIHEE ! ❞

#STAGE NAME⸻ Jihee ( 지희 )

#BIRTH NAME⸻ Um Jihee ( 엄지희 )

#ENGLISH NAME⸻ June

#NICKNAMES⸻ JiJi

#INSTAGRAM⸻ ummjihee

#TWITTER⸻ NCTsmtown_127

#FACECLAIM⸻ Miyeon from (G)I-DLE

#VOICE CLAIM⸻Yuju from GFRIEND

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

—★ GENERAL% ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

#DATE OF BIRTH⸻ May 28, 1997

#AGE⸻ 24 (international), 25 (korean age)

#ZODIAC SIGN⸻ Gemini

#BIRTH PLACE⸻ Incheon, South Korea

#NATIONALITY⸻ Korean

#LANGUAGES⸻ Korean (fluent), English (fluent), Chinese (semi-fluent), Japanese (semi-fluent)

#HEIGHT⸻ 165 cm (5'4")

#WEIGHT⸻ 45 kg (99lbs)

#BLOOD TYPE⸻ O

#PERSONALITY⸻ ENFP

#PRONOUNS⸻ She / Her

#GENDER⸻ Female

#SEXUALITY⸻ Straight

—★ CAREER% ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

#COMPANY⸻ SM Entertainment

#OCCUPATION⸻ Idol and Actress

#GROUP⸻ NCT (since 2016)

#SUB—UNIT⸻ NCT U and NCT 127

#POSITIONS⸻ Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper, Visual and Face of the Group

#DEBUT AGE⸻ 18 (international), 20 (korean age)

#TRAINING PERIOD⸻ Four years (2012 - 2016)

#REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI⸻ 🦋

↳ why? she loves them, she always wears something related to them and even has a tattoo.

—★ RAKING% ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

#VOCAL ABILITY⸻ 9.4/10

#RAP ABILITY⸻ 8/10

#DANCE ABILITY⸻ 9.8/10

#STAGE PRESENCE⸻ 10/10

#PRODUCING⸻ 6/10

#SONGWRITING⸻ 9.5/10

#COMPOSING⸻ 7/10

#CHOREOGRAPHING⸻ 9/10

#VARIETY SHOWS⸻ 9.6/10

—★ ACTING CAREER% ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( Jihee began her acting career in 2017, playing a small role and then climbing until 2019 when she landed her first main role. She knows that she is still a rookie actress and has a long way to go to make a name in the acting industry. )

While You Were Sleeping

CHARACTER: Park So-Yoon

RELEASE DATE: September 27, 2017

A young woman has visions through her dreams of terrible things that will happen to people in the future. A prosecutor tries to prevent these dreams from happening in real life.

Sky Castle

CHARACTER: Kang Ye-Seo

RELEASE DATE: November 27, 2018

Housewives living at the exclusive Sky Castle community use every way they can think of to get their children into Seoul National University.

Extraordinary You

CHARACTER: Eun Dan-Oh

RELEASE DATE: October 2, 2019

A teen seeks to change the fate that's been set for her after gaining awareness that she's just a side character in a made-up world.

Start-up

CHARACTER: Seo Dal-mi

RELEASE DATE: October 17, 2020

Seo Dal Mi has dreams of becoming Korea's own Steve Jobs, and with her genius first love, an investor, and a business insider by her side, her dream may be closer than she thinks.

—★ HER FAMILY% ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

━FATHER

#NAME⸻ Um Byungchul

#BIRTHDATE⸻ July 9, 1972

#BIRTHPLACE⸻ Seoul, South Korea

#NACIONALITY⸻ Korean

#OCCUPATION⸻ Chemical Engineer

━MOTHER

#NAME⸻ Oh Jinhee

#BIRTHDATE⸻ July 28, 1974

#BIRTHPLACE⸻ Seongnamsi, South Korea

#NACIONALITY⸻ Korean

#OCCUPATION⸻ Chef

━BROTHER

#NAME⸻ Um Minhyuk

#BIRTHDATE⸻ December 7, 1992

#BIRTHPLACE⸻ Incheon, South Korea

#NACIONALITY⸻ Korean

#OCCUPATION⸻ Veterinarian

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

—★ TRIVIA ! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

The day of her audition, Jihee was so nervous that she made several mistakes, so they asked her to come back the next day.

During her years as a trainee she seriously thought about giving up being an idol and just focusing on acting, that was because several people told her that an idol actor did not have the same treatment and opportunities as a normal actor.

SM Entertainment already had everything planned about what kind of group and concept NCT would be and have: co-ed group with unlimited members, so the teachers always had their eyes fixed on various girls, including Jihee.

Some of the guys (Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, Ten, Jaehyun and Hansol) knew that a girl would debut with them and they prepared themselves for it, that's why they were always nice with all girl trainees.

In 2014 Jihee found out that she was never contemplated to debut on Red Velvet and that she would be in SM's new project, a co-ed group.

However, Red Velvet kept thinking that she was going to debut with them later, just like Yeri would.

That was the year Jihee began to doubt about wanting to be an idol, for several months she imagined just giving it up and focusing on acting.

Although the boys were good to her and got along well, she still had her doubts about the group.

During NCT LIFE in Bangkok and NCT LIFE in Seul she was very shy and quiet, only listening to what the guys said, therefore she had little screentime. Now that Jihee looks back, she says that she had to act that way so the public would not hate her for being close to the boys.

Jihee debuted on NCT U - The 7th Sense as a main dancer and lead singer.

After her debut there was a lot of hatred and she was not seen again for a long time, so the haters thought they had won.

But Jihee was actually preparing for her second debut with NCT 127 - Limitless and her acting debut.

She has been more exposed to the public and has gone on variety shows because SM want people to get used to her.

She started to practice rapping more and SM ended up making her sub-rapper of the group.

She has written songs that have been rejected by the company because "they are not 127's style."

She has co-written songs for NCT.

NCT 2018 and 2020 was too much for her, she loves them so much but a room full of guys screaming and making a lot of noise made her mad. It was on those occasions that she understood what her family must have felt growing up with her.

In NCT 2020 she was seen quiet and in corners along with Jaemin.

She was going to be part of SM's new project "SuperM" but at that time she was busy with "Extraordinary You".

Fans of other groups throw hate at her when they attack NCT.

However, Jihee is not afraid to answer to haters.

She has repeated many times that she is completely focused on NCT 127 and acting, so a solo debut is not part of her plans right now.

127 don't know how she does it but whenever she enters a place she ends up making several friends.

Taeil and Johnny used to help her with homework.

She also tried to help the dreamies but she always got stressed and just gave them her support.

She is the biggest Weishennie.

Not even she can escape her members and their teasing due to romantic scenes.

She likes to joke that she is Jisung's older sister, at first he just laughed at her but now he says it too and her heart explodes a little.

Jihee wants to be a good example for the younger and future members.

She sees NCT 127 as her family, NCT DREAM as the little ones, and WAYV as the cool but slightly out of control friends.

[1ddotdhq]

💀Wed 28 Oct ‘20🏡

Zayn is back, Louis has pink hoodies (sort of), Liam is tik tokking like a pro, Harry feeds fish, Simon Cowell’s surgery recovery has stalled and is going poorly (great! couldn’t have happened to a more deserving human), but we’ve got too much real news to waste anymore time on that asshole! 

We ended last night with ZAYN SINGING TO US!! Beautiful black and white footage of beautiful Zayn and his perfect voice; he shows us little snippets of himself crooning James Bay's Hold Back the River and Paolo Nutini's Last Request (not for the first time on this one, he did this song before in the lead up to Icarus Falls... more on that in a minute) while reading lyrics off his phone, captioned 'Cover Sessions.' Good god but I have missed his ethereal warbling! The post alone is an unexpected blessing and a gift but the implied promise of more to come?? YES PLEASE I CANNOT WAIT. Some wonder if it could be for a Spotify Sessions, others are screaming about how Icarus Falls' drop was preceded by weeks of black and white cover song videos on instagram (when asked at that time if he was releasing something he said “yes why else do you think I'd be on here singing for you??” LOL, adore this man, but also, hello!) Anyway yesterday we got not only music and the promise of more to come, but also interaction! He chatted in comments, offering a coy 'maybe' to a comment saying 'acoustic', posting laugh cry emojis at his own jokes (“no YOU stop”), and sending love back to his happy zquad, who were of course overwhelmed and over the moon. He's cut his hair off but with all he's given us today can we be sad? It's a small price to pay. James Bay reposted the cover of his song-- “nice one man x.”

Then, Louis officially dropped his Kill My Mind Lyric drop (on the 28th!!!):  the lyric being represented is “the devil in my brain”, and it is indeed a skull with a tophat over a cauldron. The new stuff features the cute little logo embroidered on various black cold weather wear items (including a sweater!) and says 'lyric drop 2' inside the collar of the shirts. BUT! There’s more! We’ve got some more wavy walls hoodies in pink lettering, as well as fuzzy red lettering and a marble red and pink design. Love it! However, it was discovered that this new merch does not ship to India or LATAM (except Costa Rica) and honestly?? RUDE!! Louis’ LATAM fans are the FUCKING BEST (no I’m not biased wdym???). They do, however, ship to Vatican City for some reason so catch the Pope in his Walls merch! Louis did respond to this issue on twitter, though, and said, “I’ll get more info on this ASAP. Anywhere else?” so dioceses all over the world will soon be able to rock out in their KMM merch. Celebtm also came back for round three to tell everyone that they were removing themselves from the narrative until January (good riddance), but not before leaving a message from Michael Straus (ugh) to Louis and his “son” (the quote marks are theirs, not mine, in case you’re wondering where they stand on the issue). Straus’ last hurrah included claims that Briana gets a direct deposit from Louis (or his team) on the first of every month, spends it all immediately and is left destitute for the rest of the month, and that neither Briana nor Freddie have health insurance. He then offered to help Louis get custody of Freddie. Um, right. I’m sure his help would be invaluable. Also, we all agree that he’s a liar and likely doesn’t know shit and is trying to make himself seem like the hero instead of the gross misogynist he is right? 

A story was also released about Harry’s car breaking down in the UK over the summer. He did what anyone would do (I suppose?) and knocked on someone’s door to see if they could help. Well, it turns out their daughter is a fan, so they invited him in for a cup of tea, and allowed him to snoop around her room. They even took a picture of him feeding her goldfish! The photographer who took the picture is (coincidentally?) a professional, who has worked with Kasey Musgraves before. The fan did not get to meet him, but he signed her album, and left her a note promising to meet her at a concert, which he would be inviting them to. Harry has done some other cool things in the last few days (being politically active IS cool), and has started filming DWD in Palm Springs. He was spotted by a fan (though no pictures were released) and he signed her phone cover - it reads “Golden” with a little heart. 

Harry also ignited discourse by *shuffles papers,scratches head in confusion* his endorsement of Joe Biden? Well, there were a few layers to this condemnation. The first were the people who... thought he might be a Trump supporter and were disappointed that he was not? Well, uh, clearly they have not been paying close attention, because this man has been seen this year in a BLM rally, has shouted “fuck Boris, fuck the government”, and has waved multiple different pride flags (including the trans flag!) at his concerts. IDK how that screamed Trump supporter to some people. And then there were the people who were angry that he captioned the tweet “I would vote with kindness”. The words I have seen thrown around are “disingenuous” “privileged” and “this is not enough.” Well! Harry has often been criticized for encouraging fans to simply “vote” without talking specifics; now he's endorsed a candidate, just as requested! And while no one actually LIKES Biden there is no question (in any world except absurd fandom wank circles) that this endorsement is the correct one out of the viable candidates. He is not saying that Biden is himself kind, which yes would be weird, he is saying that voting for Biden is the kinder choice and you know what? He is correct. If you think that we at 1ddotd are gonna condemn him for taking a stance against a fascist, uh, THINK AGAIN!

It was confirmed that Liam’s mystery collab is Dixie D’Amelio, of tik tok fame, and I’m going to refrain from commenting until I hear the song! Liam continues to lean into both Christmas and Halloween by doing his spooky tik toks and NOT putting jump scare warnings in ANY OF THEM, thanks so much for that one Liam, love it loads! His fun, spooky, dorky ones (in full AWESOME looking makeup thanks to MUA Abby Roberts who’s quickly becoming a regular) are amazing though, and I will miss it when Halloween is over. And Niall was on the Elvis Duran show, mid-golf game with his cousin actually, to talk about them about his concert, the venue, the cause (calling his crew “like family”), and calling out the government (go Niall!)! He ALSO took to twitter and said, “I wish I could vote”. He would also not be voting for Trump, in case anyone actually needs that spelled out.

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

EXT. The Roof (Winter) - Sunset

Not Just Attracted to Women!Peter Maximoff x Fem and Not Just Attracted to Men!Reader

Based off of a dream I recently had: Peter and Y/N have a conversation on the roof of Xavier's in mid-December. Peter accidentally lets it slip that he might not be straight, and he is afraid that Y/N will think less of him because of it because this is the 80s. Y/N reveals that she is also not straight, and is saddened by the fact that Peter could think that she could ever hate him- especially for that. She calls him wonderful. Feelings ensue. Also, a touch of Cherik at the end because I give the people what they want.

Warnings: Swearing, Peter cries, internalized homophobia (this is the 80s-ish and Peter uses the word 'queer' in a kind of incorrect and kind of offensive manner, but it was internalized homophobia and not actually intended to be mean to anyone but himself so I forgive him), a touch of angst but mostly fluff, Charles called you two "children" even though you are obviously not, Erik is happy that his son has someone that cares about him the way you do, Peter is insecure but not super blunt about it, Peter has been deprived of being adored his entire life, bad writing, I mention a serial killer twice, historical inaccuracy because the word queer was still a slur so yeah.

A/N: This is literally the first thing I have ever written so please be nice to me, I wrote this instead of an essay. I would love a comment of any kind, even if it's just a heart emoji or something, and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Also 'N/N' stands for nick-name.

(Ok, so, full discloser: the format is odd. The bullet points represent dialogue, and the only dialogue is between you two love birds. The first bullet point is Peter, the second is Y/N, the third is Peter, and so on.)

“I dunno, the whole ‘liking people’ thing has always been weird for me.”

“How do you mean?"

“Pppffftt- 'how do you mean,' what are you, Shakespeare or somethin’?”

“Yeah, because that’s the era when ‘how do you mean' would have been a popular term. Ok, what do you mean?”

“Just- when other people were liking people I never really was?”

He was gesturing wildly and avoiding eye contact, as always. He wasn't uncomfortable with eye contact, he just got bored easily in conversations, he needed to keep himself occupied. In this situation that meant staring at the red and green lights covering the rest of the roof, the snowy trees all over the yard, and a holly garland around the gate. Peter wasn't Christian, but man, did he love their Christmas decorations.

“Like… now? In school?”

“Well- yeah… but also when I was younger. And I never liked the right people? Or... liked them in the right way?”

“So you’ve never liked anyone.”

“No, no… I definitely have. It was just… weird! I don't-”

His hands dropped to his side in defeat.

“I don’t think it’s that out of the ordinary. I would tell you if it was. Also, if it was... 'weird', like you said, that wouldn’t mean it was necessarily bad.”

He hadn’t really heard what she said, he was too busy pondering what his next sentence would be. When she wasn't speaking, he was rambling.

"I had some of the normal crap… like in movies when they talk about the fluttery stomach junk. I've had that around a few girls I've been friends with, also that phase with the boy stuff, a-"

“Wait, what phase with the boy stuff?”

“Like- when you’re in middle school or whatever and you're gay for a second.”

His phrasing was a joke, but the statement as a whole was not.

“…‘Gay for a second’?”

“…Yeah?”

“Hmmm..."

"Is that- not-"

"I don't think that is... 'normal'... per-say..."

“Oh… Really?”

His heart sunk.

“…Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“…Mhm.”

“…Shit.”

He suddenly looked almost embarrassed. He shifted his posture, seemingly trying to shrink into himself.

“Do you... wanna chat about it?”

Panic started to slowly rise in him.

“Um- forget I said anything.”

“Why?”

Something in him said to go on the "defense". He did not appear as calm as he was intending to.

“I’m not- gay! or anything. I like girls! I do!”

She put her hand on his arm.

“Hey- look at me for a second. We are not in court, and I never 'accused' you of being gay. That would be a very funny reality TV show, but not what is happening right now. Listen, theoretically if you were gay that wouldn’t be bad! And I wouldn’t be… whatever you.. think that I would be? I mean- however you are afraid I would act in a negative reaction to it? I would try to be here for you, and be as supportive as possible.”

He didn’t believe her.

“Ok, sure.”

“Peter.”

“What? You’re going to tell me that you would honestly be friends with a queer person- be friends with me if I was... not... normal?”

She was taken aback by his tone, the word he had used, and the way he said it, felt like a weight dropping on her shoulders.

“Oh. would you… not?”

It was her turn to seem nervous.

“What?”

“Would you- stop being friends with someone for liking someone that they… I don’t know… shouldn’t... would be the word I guess?”

Why, in this situation, was she nervous? Oh. His fear was replaced with guilt.

“No.”

“Ok.”

“So… are you… do you… why were you scared?”

“... Why were you?”

She expected a joke from him, something along the lines of “touché".

“Are you… gay?”

“No.”

Yeah, he didn’t believe her.

“Uh-huh”

“Really, I’m not. I’ve liked boys, but also... I've had feelings for girls. I’m not… straight. So I just want to let you know that it’s okay if you aren’t too.”

“I never s-“

She smiled at him with a bit of pity, she had been there. The self-loathing, the feeling of walking on minefields with so many people in your life.

“You are…”

She paused.

“I am… what?”

“Give me a second I’m trying to find the perfect word.”

“… Okay?”

“Wonderful.”

That was not exactly the word he was expecting. Like, at all.

“Huh?”

“That’s the word. Wait- let me start over. You gotta look me in my eyes as I say it, because it’s gonna be really poetic.”

“Uh… should I be scared?”

“No. Maybe a little. No.”

“… Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You are… wonderful.”

“Oh... Thanks?“

He looked away again, to be honest, he was a bit uncomfortable. He rarely received compliments, especially ones that seem so... genuine.

“I’m not finished, look back at me, just for a second. You are so wonderful- and I will support you as whatever you are! I want you to know that I can- I can barely even think of something you could do that would make me genuinely hate you- like… maybe if you Dahmer-ed people or like chopped up a-“

He found this was amusing, yet disturbing.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry- I just- the fact that you thought, even for a second, that I could hate you… is just-“

“I’m sorry”

“No! Stop it. Don’t be sorry.”

She stared at him expectantly.

“What do you want me to-“

“Take it back! The sorry!”

“How?”

“Say you aren’t sorry”

“N/N-“

“Peter.”

“Ok. I’m, ya know, not sorry.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be”

“You’re weird.”

“Yuh-huh. Says the most likely, from the little information I've gathered, bisexual in denial who also happens to be the fastest boy on earth who had to slow down exponentially to interact with other people who also, also, happens sitting on a roof in the dead of winter with me.”

“What’s by smexual?”

Something about the way he attempted to repeat her words must have been hilarious, he thought, because here she was, sitting in front of him, in a fit of childish giggles. He would smile if he weren't so confused.

“No- that’s not- what I said- it’s… wait!”

“What?”

“You’re tryna get me off topic!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Am not!”

“Are t- shit.”

��HAHA! Victory is a sweet dessert... wait is that even the saying? Still, I win you lose, nerd.”

“Ok, okay! go on.”

She was attempting to gather herself to give off a less jokey aura. It was half working, the "am not! are too!" argument a few moments ago made it hard for him to take her seriously, but he could tell it was important to her that he did, so he tried his best.

“You have to look at me again. just for a second.”

“I sw-”

“Just do it? Please?”

His attempt to put up a fight was thwarted by her small "please". He was pathetic.

“Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You…”

“Me… or- wait- I…”

“Are w-“

“Wonderful, yeah yeah. just get to the n-”

“No.”

“… No?”

“When you say it it doesn’t encapsulate it. It sounds silly.”

“Ok little miss ‘you art thou wonderful’, how would you have me say it?”

“I am you wonderful?”

“What?”

“You called me ‘little miss you are you wonderful’ what does that-“

“Ok! Would you just- shut up and call me wonderful one more time, please?”

She looked at him and blinked. That sentence surely came off as less ironic than intended.

“You are wonderful.”

She grabbed his face, in a half-joking manner. Her grab smushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh a bit when she did it. Even though it was clearly a bit, he was still flustered.

“W-“

She shook him a bit.

"Shut up 'cause I'm about to say some beautiful and true shit. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are absolutely, unchangingly, and irrevocably wonderful and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, Maximoff.”

After saying what she would (in 40 years or so) recall as a painfully John Green-ish statement in her blunt and matter-of-fact manner, she let go of her semi-ironic hold on his pink cheeks. Were his cheeks pink because it was absolutely freezing, or because his heart was beating faster than he had ever (and would ever, mind you) run, you ask? No comment.

“Wow.”

“Wow what.”

“You do say it better than I do.”

“Did you like how I stressed different parts of the sentence each time? I thought that was a nice detail.”

“Wow.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Wow.”

Did his voice just... break a little?

“Peter?”

“Uh- yeah?”

Was he a little... sniffle-y? She was now very concerned.

“Are you okay?!”

“Oh- um... yeah!”

No! No he was clearly not! He was sniffling!

“Really? 'Cause, you don't seem it.”

“It’s just- I just- wow.”

“Wow, what!?”

“That was just- uh-"

“Just what? It really wasn't that fancy, you seem much too impressed with me. Oh my God, was it terrible?”

“I mean it was really corny but w-“

“I swear to God if you say 'wow' one more time I may have to add ‘use of the word wow too much’ to the list of things that could make me hate you. Right next to the Dahmer stuff. That was a joke. Your use of the word wow is only mildly perturbing. Sorry."

She was panicking "just a bit".

“I’m sorry, I mean I’m not sorry. Sorry. Shit! sorry! I mean I’m not!”

And he was absolutely... full-on crying at this point.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

He was looking down at his mittens. Not that this is important, but they were very pretty mittens.

“Look at me, you klepto.”

He didn’t.

“You know- I’ve been hearing a lot of that 'look at me' stuff from you today. I mean- the klepto part is new-“

“Peter.”

“What?!”

He peaked up at her.

“Talk to me. Please, you're kinda scaring me, let me help.”

“I’m not sad!”

“You’re crying!”

“Yeah but not from the sads!”

“… The ‘sads’?”

“You know- when you get sad! It just means being sad! I don't- that’s what Wanda calls it, not me!"

He wiped his nose, tears still running down from his puffy eyes to his reddened cheeks.

“What are you crying from?”

“No one’s ever called me wonderful before.”

“I'm sorry! I did a few minutes ago and you didn’t cry!”

“No! You can't 'sorry' me if I can't 'sorry' you! And- yeah but that doesn’t count!”

“Why?”

“Because it only felt big when you said it the certain way!”

“What way!?”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks-“

“I'm sorry about that by the way I was j-“

“No! It’s really ok! Do it whenever! I mean don’t do it whene- shut up!”

“I’m not even talking! You're the one talking!”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks, and you go: you are wonderful.”

“Yeah???”

“No one ever called me that before!”

"Peter, I- well- they- they should! They should! More often! Then the amount that it happens now! I think. In my opinion."

"Or really looked at me like that!”

“Looked at you like what, Peter?”

“Like I was somethin’!”

“Well, you are… ‘somethin'! Whatever that means! And- I think you deserve to be looked at as such!”

“See?”

“What!?”

“You just-“

A strangled sob escaped from his throat. He didn't know how to explain.

“Pete.”

“Ew. I hate that nickname.”

He crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler, trying to completely ignore the fact that he was an emotional wreck.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

She opened her arms and gestured for him to come closer. He was hesitant at first- but gave up all the reasons he shouldn't move to be closer to her in exchange for the promise of comfort she was offering him. He crawled over to her and curled up in her arms. The way she held him made him want to cry more. Who does she think she is- holding him like he was worth holding? With her chin sitting on top of his hair? Letting him do that gross cry sob with the spit and the snot into her only winter coat? Rocking him, and shushing him, and petting his stupid, silver hair? She was warm, too! The audacity of this woman.

When Erik brought Charles into his office to grab a chess set, they saw the two in the window. For a moment Charles considered telling Peter and Y/N to get off of the high platform, seeing as the two were the reasons the "no sitting on the roof" rule was enacted in the first place (neither of them were coordinated whatsoever). Charles quickly dropped this notion when he saw the look on Erik's face, Charles could tell it made him so happy to see Peter be held like that, cared for like that. Erik's expression made Charles want to both tell Erik that he is the most precious thing in the world, and make fun of him (look at Mr. Metal, gone completely soft). Possibly he could do both at the same time. But for now, he is just going to pretend he didn't see the two outside of the window, and have Erik grab them their game, go to the living room, and pretend not to have read Erik's mind when he inevitably asks him how he always manages to pick the white chess piece at "random".

[onyourzeus]

12:15 am | kyh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: 12:15am pairing: kang younghyun (youngk of day6) & you genre: fluff, small caps words: 2.4k

author’s note: extra fic for tonight, just all around fluffy bf!yonk getting a call from his drunk s/o in the middle of the night. do enjoy.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

younghyun loves the grind. but if there’s anything else that he looks forward to during a hard and long day of working, it’s the feeling of coming home once he’s done. he makes sure to take off his shoes with as less noise as possible, knowing the fact that his roommates slash bandmates are enjoying their sleeping hours of peace and solitude. 

with just a loose shirt and boxers on, he finally feels less restricted and more comfortable in his own skin. the urge to clean himself of sweat, and polluted air that had clung on him with a nice, hot shower is tempting— but the exhaustion in his heavy shoulders and drooping eyelids convince him otherwise. 

he’ll hate himself for dirtying his sheets, but tomorrow is sunday which means it’s time to do his laundry, anyway. 

tossing his used clothes in the hamper, he prepares his body to get swallowed by the softness of his comforter, and the warm void of his thick blankets. of course, before he passes out entirely tonight, he doesn’t forget to send you a text. the one important thing he shouldn’t miss out on. 

really tired. gonna crash in 2 seconds. text you tmr, love you

usually, younghyun would wait until you respond because the many heart emojis that come his way act as his goodnight kiss while the two of you are apart. besides, you normally reply in an instant which is a habit he’s worried about, really, since you need some rest too. 

he tries to fight the sleepiness away from his senses, but the more he sits on his bed, back hunched and ready to collapse, the less energy he has left to wait for your message. he frowns, suddenly wondering about your whereabouts. you always tell him first hand if you’re too busy to check your phone throughout the day, and younghyun appreciates the thoughtfulness. even if he couldn’t reply “okay” right away, the two of you have a shared sense of understanding as to how your kind of long distance relationship works by now. 

sighing, he eventually puts his phone on the bedside table and plops himself in the covers. it feels really, really good to be in his own personal space now, and younghyun thinks he deserves to rest longer than normal tonight; it was a pretty productive day in the studio. he finished another collab with an artist he’s been meaning to contact for months, and he was glad it came to fruition with great success. he also managed to write a few arrangements for the band’s upcoming album, even if the group decided it was too early to work on it yet. 

younghyun believes it’s never too early as long as inspiration is present. if he didn’t so much as write down possible lyrics or harmonies on a piece of paper every day, he’d slowly feel his motivation being sucked out of him. if he was being honest, that was one of his worst fears as an artist, so every day is work for him, it just depends on how much he wants to get done in a day. 

as his thoughts fizzle out in his mind, his consciousness brings him to dreamland until a constant vibrating noise disrupts him from his end table. younghyun is about to pull the sheets over his head, thinking nothing of the sound but an annoying notification from something unimportant— but then he remembers you. 

with his second guess being right, younghyun has a twinge of guilt in his throat for believing you were not worth it to get up from the coziness of his bed. rubbing his eyes to seem more awake, he picks up the call and greet you in a whisper. 

“hi, baby, what’s up?” younghyun says, voice low and hoarse from multiple recordings in the studio. 

“cheese,” you mumble on the other end, voice rather solid and awake which causes younghyun to perk up a bit. 

“what was that?” 

“cheeeeese, brian,” you slur, elongating the repeated word as well as saying it in a higher pitch. immediately, younghyun senses the somewhat incoherent mumble in your nevertheless pretty voice, and judging from the fact you unironically called him by his english name, there was only one explanation: you’re drunk. 

he finds himself smiling as he answers, “are you home, babe?” he wasn’t angry about you drinking, he does remember you telling him a few days ago that you might go out with friends but you weren’t sure when. maybe tonight was the night and you just forgot to remind him; no big deal. 

“i think so?” you hiccup, followed by a soft chuckle. younghyun’s heart soars at the sound, and it pains him at the same time that he couldn’t be there to hold and take care of you. he leans against the headboard, making himself more comfortable as he listens to you ramble on. 

“all i know is that— burp— it was wendy’s birthday… or was it her cousin? cause she was there too, and i never met her before and— oh my god, i don’t even remember her name i’m such a bad new friend— whatever, anyway, it was someone’s celebration and we bar hopped to a lot of places and it became really sweaty and loud and at one point i had a flamingo shot in my hand and and—”

“hold up, flamingo? you mean flaming?” younghyun interjects, chuckling at your jumbled up story. he imagines you shaking your head as you whine at him for interrupting you. “no, nooooo. it was red and fiery and there was a lot of smoke and i’m sure it represented the beautiful, long-legged bird called flemings.”

this time, younghyun couldn’t stop himself from choking out a laugh, and in turn you huff from the other end, and refuse to continue further. 

“i’m sorry, go on. please, i’m interested with what happened after you took this mysterious shot that starts with an f.”

“are you sure you won’t laugh?” he hears you quip in a tiny, slurring voice, and it his chest tightens at the thought of making you go through this drunken state alone. younghyun cards through his hair in frustration towards himself, realizing how much he misses you in the moment. he doesn’t want you to stop talking, god if he can only see your lips move in person—

“i promise, babe. so, what happened next?”

“if you say so,” you mutter indignantly, but proceed with the story even though you’re unsure of where it’s going. “um, actually. that was it. i think i took everyone’s flamingo shots in their hands and next thing i remember, wendy or her cousin or whoever it was tucked me in bed and now i’m in the kitchen eating cheese.” 

the string of words you had uttered made younghyun feel three emotions in succession: one, impressed that you were able to down more than one shot while he’s not there to monitor you; two, relieved that you confirmed your safety inside your apartment; and three, plain confusion as to why you didn’t stay in bed and instead, eating what you say is cheese while on the call with him. 

“can we turn on the videocall?” he asks gently, and you hesitate.

“i don’t look cute right now…”

“you’re always cute. please?” he tries to sound convincing, knowing that you do get insecure when your face is flushed red from the alcohol. even still, he doesn’t tire from complimenting you otherwise. 

“okay,” you relent, and younghyun’s heart skips a beat anticipating the sight of you on his phone. he turns on his camera, and he’s appalled at what he sees: daar under eyes, no make up on, and a face that describes weariness to a T. in this case, it should be him who feels insecure looking the way he is, but he’d take the risk if it meant seeing your face. 

“hello? is this thing on??” after a few seconds of lag, your screen cleared up and younghyun watches you poke the camera repeatedly. “bri, it’s so dark in here am i even alive right now?”

you never fail to lift his mood up during an exhausting day of activities— as your schedules collide against each other, and there would be less time for moments like right now, younghyun only asks for a few texts sent his way as reassurance that you’re still with him. you always comply, and sometimes younghyun doesn’t get to uphold his side of the commitment during the rare days that he just want to shut off the world.

still, he’ll wake up from a text with your name on it, and the hearts he missed the night before. and he feels whole, and ready to take on the world again.

so this time, younghyun wants to make you feel heard— and seen, as these days work seems to occupy more of his time and burden him with the pressure of exceeding his own expectations. you don’t like seeing him worry about how he’s doing in the industry, so younghyun does his best to appear cheerful and curious in front of you— or his phone, at least.

“yes, you’re very much alive right now, babe. are you really eating cheese at this hour?” he shouldn’t have asked. it was obvious the thing in your hand was, in fact, string cheese being eaten in the most ungodly fashion, but it’s you— and younghyun would rather watch you bite into it, cringing inwardly, instead of passing out with another day longing for your presence. 

“let’s eat cheese together,” you suggest, shoving the half-bitten string cheese into the center of the camera as if it was a mic being handed over to younghyun. “do you want to eat cheese with me, bri?” you ask again, tone small but hopeful. you put your hand down, and younghyun finally has a full view of your face. 

you had taken your makeup off, judging from the bare skin and slightly smeared lipstick on the side of your lips. your hair was splayed out down your shoulders, a combination of curly and straight strands framing your beautiful face. he surmises you used a curling iron this morning, imagining the frustration on your facial features as you try to make it work. 

“briannnn, cheese?” 

younghyun focuses on the present, and he notices the glimmer in your eyes amidst the only light coming on your end was his screen’s brightness. he shakes his head slowly which causes you to pout. 

“no thank you, baby, you can have it all.” 

“but i saved some for you, right here. you get the other half. just like you’re my other half. hehe, get it?” 

“yes, baby, that’s very sweet and clever of you.”

“you should hire me as your lyrics… manager. maker? lyrics person? lyricist!” you grin widely after figuring out the right term, and take another bite off the string cheese. 

“i think you’re doing a great job at being my girlfriend, though,” younghyun tells you, and it takes a few seconds for those words to process until he hears the eventual whine, and covering of your face with your free hand. 

“babe.” no response.

“baaabe.” you mumble something he couldn’t hear. younghyun takes in how adorable you are, and doesn’t pester you for a minute. this bothers you, apparently, as you peek through your fingers and catch him doing one of his silly faces that corners you to laugh abruptly. 

“not fair!! you know that works every time,” you whine in defeat, and younghyun can only smile proudly in response. 

“you know,” you start off, and younghyun prepares himself for another stream of consciousness on your end before you continue, “even if we’re far away from each other, and that we can’t eat cheese together, you’re still the best boyfriend in the entire galaxy.” 

if there’s anything else that younghyun loves apart from the feeling of coming home after work, it’s the feeling of being loved by you. 

he waits for you to finish your string cheese, and you argue that you’d like to eat another one. but it was getting late, and younghyun didn’t want to look even more tired on call, so he urges that you two fall asleep while the call goes on. 

as he wiggles back inside the covers, he watches you struggle to get your whole body in the comfort of your blanket. his hand holds on the phone as he readies himself to sleep sideways. 

“stupid blanket,” you mutter in annoyance, deciding to take one leg out of the warm sheets and at last, feel content on your bed.”that’s better,” you sigh, eyes falling asleep before younghyun. 

“comfortable?”

“not really.”

“oh, why not?” younghyun asks. 

“you’re not here beside me.” and your answer breaks his heart. 

younghyun is pretty good at consoling you with his words at times when you need it, but you beat him to it this time. 

“it’s okay though, younghyun, i can get by like this for now. i know—” you yawn in between, “you’re working super hard for the next comeback— actually, you work no matter what project you’re doing, babe. you’re insane, i hope you know that.”

it was younghyun’s turn to blush, and hide his face in the pillow. the drowsiness is making him soft, and weak from denying the truth in your words. he can definitely agree with a lot of people in his life that he needs to take it slow some days. and when it comes from you, he then knows to take that advice seriously. 

“i do know that, baby.” 

“it’s not bad, though!!” you object, zooming in to your eyes as if to let him know you’re saying it as a good thing. younghyun chuckles again, lifting his face up so he can witness your goofy antics once more. 

“i think it’s… really badass. you go younghyun,” you yawn again, dropping the phone as sleep attempts to befall upon you. “sorry, my hand was getting numb.”

“that’s okay, go to sleep now.” 

“no, you.” 

“that’s literally what we’re trying to do, babe.” 

he hears you snicker, and with that he felt it was okay to lay his phone next to him, too. he probably wouldn’t see your face in the morning on the call anymore as his phone wasn’t fully charged at all. however, as he hears you quietly snoring on the other end gives him a sense of security, and the status of his dead phone battery doesn’t matter so much for now. 

“i love you,” he whispers into the night, eyes closing in, smile taking him to dreams where he can hold you tight.

“love you more, younghyun.”

[palettes-and-prompts]

25 Dialogue Prompts for Each Color of the Rainbow (Part 2)

Red 1) "How could anyone not like me? I'm perfect." 2) "Quick! They're coming, how do I look? Do I have anything in my teeth? Do I smell because I need to look perfect!" 3) "Wow, have you been working out, you look great!" 4) "Oh, this old thing? I just threw this on." 5) "You really think I'm beautiful?" 6) "I wasn't meant to be some little star. I was meant to be the sun." 7) "They haven't texted me since the date and it's been a week. What if they didn't like me? No, that's ridiculous, I'm wonderful. Something must've just happened to their phone." 8) "I'm going to die alone aren't I? Just me, some cats, and boxed wine. At least Real Housewives will always be there for me." 9) "They're obviously not looking for perfection because I'm right here." 10) "I'm not shopping at a thrift store, that's where poor people shop!" 11) "You had better change for the party because you're fucking high if you think I'm going to let you stand next to me while you wear that outfit." 12) "A gift? For me? Oh you shouldn't have! Oh...a book...wow...thanks. You, uh, really shouldn't have." 13) "Please be a loser somewhere else." 14) "I'm on a diet where I have to drink kale. If you value your life leave right now." 15) "I want this entire box of Kit Kats." "....the whole box." "NOW!" 16) "It's scary out there, I'm not coming with you to check out that noise." "Okay." "No! Wait, don't actually leave me alone." 17) "I am not a scaredy cat! I just don't like when things pop out at me or creep around in the dark or come within ten feet of me unless they're hot." 18) "I would never ever fall in love with you." "Okay, well, you're still holding onto me." "I just didn't want to get lost!" 19) "Wow, you're really strong. Like...really strong." "If you're that thirsty there's a water fountain right over there." 20) "God look at them. They look so good when they're sweaty. Oh fuck they're taking their jacket off." "You're drooling." 21) "Give me back the honey bun or I will scratch your eyes out." "You need to calm down." "You need to not tell me to calm down." 22) "Everyone keeps getting flowers and it's so annoying. Like, we have work to do, you shouldn't be worried about getting flowers. I hate flowers, I-" "I think there are some flowers on your desk." "Oh my god I love flowers! They're so pretty. Aww, I wonder who got them for me." " 23) "I think you're the most dramatic person I know." "That can't be true, I'm not dramatic." "You literally cried yesterday when no one noticed you got your hair trimmed like a centimeter." "It was a big difference from how it was!" "It was a centimeter!" 24) "My ideal home is one that's small but enough to have a family in." "They're such a fucking liar, their ideal home has to have mirrors everywhere, a double curved staircases so they can walk down dramatically, a maze in the backyard, a fountain in the front with a circular driveway, but then the road in is lined with trees because their dramatic and when you get to the gate it has their last initial on it." "Oh my god, you do listen to me!" "Unfortunately yes." 25) "Are you in love with me?" "What? No, I can't stand you." "You remember everything about me! You pay attention to everything I say and I can be very..." "Dramatic?" "Passionate about certain things. You hate it." "I don't hate it." "So you love it?" "We don't have to put a label on what I feel." "Yes we do. You love me!" "Fine, okay, I love you." "Really?" "Don't get all passionate right now." "I'm already planning our wedding in my mind."

Orange 1) "You're really cool, we should hang out sometime. Maybe you could watch me skateboard." 2) "You're always stressing yourself out, why don't you let me help you unwind?" 3) "It's just you, me, and this goat you told me not to get." 4) "You think hiding your snacks is gonna stop me from eating them? I'm like a bloodhound, I will sniff them out!" 5) "What do you think would happen if I snorted Cheeto dust?" 6) "Remember when you told me not to try to reach into the vending machine when my chips got stuck because my arm would get stuck in there. Well, the good news is I got my chips. Bad news is I wont be home for a while." 7) "You know how Gaston ate four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large? Okay, so that's bullshit because when I was a kid I tried to do that and I barely ate a dozen before I threw up." 8) "Oh, I'm an idiot? Because I think I'm fucking styling in these diamond studded crocs while I ride my razor scooter!" 9) "Oh, I always get a perfect score on any test I take. Everyone always thinks I'm cheating but the doctors say I've got something called an photographic memory where I only look at things once and I just remember it. Anyway, wanna see how many ants I can eat?" 10) "One time I got stung by a bee on the tongue because I wanted to see what it felt like." "Did it feel good?" "It did not." 11) "I used to think Bronchitis meant I was growing broccoli inside my lungs." "It doesn't mean that. When did you find out that it didn't mean that?" "Oh, um, like... a few days ago." "A FEW DAYS AGO?!" 12) "So, I did something." "What did you do?" "I should preface by saying I am not smart." "What. Did. You. Do?" 13) "Just shaved a cat to look like a lion with a mane." "That's so stupid, why would you do that?" "Why don't you look at the results first?" 14) "I beat all of Super Mario World and found every single secret." "When's the last time you slept?" "Last time I what?" 15) "Why are you all twitchy?" "I just mixed every energy drink from the gas station with pixie sticks." "Jesus, we're going to the hospital." 16) "I know eating cheese makes you constipated and everything, but like, how much cheese? I don't want to be constipated so what's the maximum amount I can eat without that happening." 17) "Don't freak out, but I'm in jail." "JAIL?!" "It's all a big misunderstanding!" 18) "Can I tell you something without you getting mad?" "You always ask me this and I always get mad." "Yeah, but like, maybe this time you could just...not get mad?" 19) "You are the human equivalent of the smiley face emoji." "Aww! Thank you." "It wasn't a compliment." 20) "You look like you eat sunshine and shit rainbows." "Actually I eat Lucky Charms. Well, just the charms actually with like a little bit of the lucky bit." "You're so positive it sickens me." 21) "I love Thanksgiving." "Yikes. Why?" "Because I get to have dinner with all my friends and family. There's no pressure to buy gifts or anything. We all just come together and appreciate each other." "I could put everything you've ever said on a Hallmark card." 22) "Do you know how much I love you?" "You send me every heart emoji before bed and end it with a kissy face with the words 'I love you' every night. I think I get it." "I'll start doing it every morning just to be sure." 23) "You know how in Inside Out there's all the different little people that represent each emotion?" "Yeah, I love that movie!" "Yeah, I think your Joy emotion person killed your Sad emotion person." "What? No! She wouldn't do that!" " 24) "You have to stop crying every time this scene in the movie comes up." "He thinks she doesn't love him!" "It's just Shrek. You've seen how it ends, you can quote it for fuck's sake!" "I know but he doesn't know right now!" "Oh my god." 25) "I swallowed the key to Person A's car." "Oh my god why would you do that?" "I thought it'd be funny but now I'm worried about it." "Oh now you're worried about it?"

Yellow 1) "I heard everyone survived, is that true?" "Yes, everyone's fine." "Pity." 2) "If being classy means being mean to everyone who's considered to be beneath you then I must be the classiest bitch in the whole fucking world." 3) "I don't think you're beneath me, I know you are." 4) "A piece of advice I'll give to you for free. Stay out of my way unless you'd like to be crushed under my foot." 5) "Hmm, I wonder which shoes I should wear to stomp on the dreams of others today." 6) "Don't cry on me, this jacket is worth more than your car!" 7) "Oh no, I won. Aww! And you wanted it so bad, didn't you?" 8) "You know, in duos it's usually one's the beauty and one's the brains but in our case I guess I really lucked out, didn't I?" 9) "Don't think for a second I'm interested in you, I'm only speaking to you because I have to." 10) "They took something that was mine. And now I have to kill them." 11) "I was scheduled to ruin someone's life today, but I guess I can save that for another time. Let's hang out!" 12) "I know that person, their significant other made my friend cry so I slept with their boyfriend/girlfriend and made them fall in love with me. I can't wait to be there when they tell them they're leaving them for me." 13) "You need good friends, people who will watch out for you and help you handle your problems." 14) "Listen here, you little shit, I've worked hard to get this perfect so if you fuck it up I will destroy everything you love." 15) "Oh, how cute! You think you're a threat to me." 16) "Next time you try to threaten me remember who you're dealing with. Because I don't do threats, I make promises. And when I promised I'd ruin your life I intended to keep that promise." 17) "Oh my god, here comes that insufferable bitc-Hi! Oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever, you look so good!" 18) "Oh, gag me with a fucking spoon. If I have to listen to you idiots try to talk and breathe at the same time I'm going to jump in front of a fucking bus." 19) "Move! I'll handle it just like I handle everything, with grace and vague threats." 20) "What do you mean they're in love with me? Did they say that word for word? Because you know I'm in love with them so if this is a trick it's not funny and I'll fucking kill you. Did they say that word for word?" 21) "I only have strengths I don't have weaknesses." 22) "They called me heartless? I'm not heartless! I'm nice. I'm so fucking nice. I'm going to prove how fucking nice I am and then they're going to look like an idiot for saying that!" 23) "Stop crying. You look fucking pathetic and you're not pathetic because I don't have pathetic friends. So keep your head up, bury your feelings, and act like the goddamn champion you are." 24) "Don't speak, you could make the town idiot feel like a genius." 25) "Stop acting like a loser or you're not allowed to stand next to me anymore."

Green 1) "Well, look at that, we're all alone. So, anything you wanna say to me? Anything you wanna do to me?" 2) "Of course I have sex for money, you think I'd just give all this away for free?" 3) "What do you mean I can't wear this to the funeral? It's my mourning crop top." 4) "How's my outfit?" "Hideous. You should shred it and then burn it just to be safe." 5) "Ew, what do you want?"   6) "I'm gonna need you to not stand next to me at this party, I don't want anyone thinking we came together." 7) "Does this make me look slutty?" "Not at all, it's very modest for you actually." "Ew, okay, I'm gonna go change." 8) "Why are you putting on glitter? We're going to a toddler's birthday party." "Look, if you wanna look like that that's your choice. I plan on looking like I hunt mythical creatures for a living." 9) "The robbers took everything in my house." "Yeah, but they left your clothes so what do you think that says about them?" 10) "I thought you hated the thrift store." "I did, I thought it was a very sad little place, but then I started designing my own outfit with all the decent things they sell and so now I love the thrift store." 11) "They broke up with you? You?! No, I don't think so. Come with me, we're going to fix you and you're going to show them what they're missing." 12) "They might have more money than me but I'm the one who has clear skin and the ability to not look like trash." 13) "A choker can be something that says it all. It can say 'I'm fun and I love hanging out with my friends' but it can also say 'I only have rough sex' you know?" 14) "You're not my type." "You haven't even turned around to see me." "Didn't need to. I could smell that cheap cologne/perfume from a mile away." "What is your type?" "Rich." 15) "What are you doing?" "Eating take out and watching porn." "What kind of porn?" "Bondage porn." "Oh, that kind of day, huh? Should I come over?" "No, I'll just try to sleep wit you." "You do that even when you're not sad." "Okay, you can come over." 16) "Where are you going with my keys?" "I've got to kill someone." "Okay, make sure you don't get blood on my seats." 17) "No, highlight yellow and highlighter orange are not real colors. Okay? Are you a hunter trying not to get shot or a construction worker? No, you're not. You're trying to seduce someone. So lets get rid of this monstrosity and find something that'll make your eyes look pretty." 18) "I love you very much and it's because I love you that I can say this. Please don't wear that outfit or you will embarrass me." 19) "You just kissed me." "Yeah, I did." "Why? Did I seem like I was drowning or that I needed mouth to mouth? Were you trying to kill a bug with your lips? Why would you kiss me?" "I like you. A lot." "Hahaha...wait, seriously?" "Why's that so hard to believe?" "Because I'm me, people don't like me, they just like looking at me." "Well, I like you. A lot. And if you like me maybe we could get some dinner later or something." "Okay!" 20) "Oh my god, is that a skort? I think I might vomit. Skorts are for children, not adults. Once you hit eighteen you are legally banned from wearing skorts unless you play tennis or something. Do you play tennis? No. I didn't think so. Burn that." 21) "Camo is disgusting and if I ever catch any of you wearing it we are no longer friends." 22) "Your shorts are a little too short." "Yeah? You like it?" "You're attracting a lot of attention." "But am I attracting your attention?" 23) "Oh, wow, that's a bright shade of yellow. Um, why don't we try a few different outfits for fun before we decide on that one, okay?" 24) "Hey, I came as fast as I could, where's the body?" "Actually, I called you for a--you came here prepared to hide a body with me?" "Of course I did, you're my best friend." "Aww!" 25) "I only have sex for free when I like someone, and for you, honey? It'll cost triple what I normally charge."

Blue 1) "I heard the pet store got new puppies and kittens, wanna go see them with me?" 2) "We should go ice skating!" 3) "I love having picnics with you, you always bring my favorite foods." 4) "I love spending time with you." 5) "I think I wanna spend the rest of my life with you." 6) "Are you cold? You can wear my jacket if you want!" 7) "I don't want any of that stuff. I just want you. I've always wanted you." 8) "I wonder what it's like to hug a cloud." "Your hands would go right through it." "Yeah, but I've always wanted to touch one." 9) "Is it okay if we stay a little longer?" "We can stay until close if you'd like." "I just really like looking at the fish." "I know." 10) "Could you hug me for like an hour?" "Yeah, okay, wanna watch a movie while we do that or?" 11) "We have to leave right now. The Easter Bunny is at the store up the road and they're doing pictures." "You're an adult." "Please!!!" "Fine. We can go sit on the employee dressed in a rabbit suit's lap." "Yay! Thank you!" 12) "You can't eat that much cotton candy, you'll make yourself sick." "But it's good!" "You'll get a cavity." 13) "Can we go to the fair?" "We're not riding the toddler rides again. People gave us so many dirty looks last year." "But what about the teacups?" "We can ride the teacups, but none of the other kid ones." 14) "Can we shoot fireworks this year?" "You hate the ones with loud noises." "Yeah, but I like looking at them." "I'll buy earmuffs for you." 15) "Can we paint the side room." "Sure, what color?" "I was thinking like maybe a purple or green. Maybe all the colors." "Like a rainbow room? Why would we do the whole room?" "It'd be fun, it'd be cute for a side room or an office, maybe a baby room." "Baby room?" "Maybe. I mean, if you like that idea." "I think it's a great idea." 16) "Can we get a dog?" "You're an adult, if you want a dog you don't have to ask me." "Yeah, but it's your house too so..." "Yes, we can get a dog. We can go to the shelter tomorrow." 17) "So, I was thinking maybe we could have our wedding during the spring or maybe the summer." "You have bad allergies during those times." "Yeah, but I was thinking we could get fake flowers and I could take some allergy medication and it could still look like a spring or a summer wedding." "I'll start looking at fake flowers." "I'll check venues." 18) "Why are you up so early?" "Look outside! It's snowing!!!" "And you woke me up so we could play in it?" "Uh huh." "One hour and then you let me go back to sleep." "I'll go get my gloves!!" 19) "We have to go to the zoo." "You hate the zoo, you said you don't like seeing animals in cages." "I know but the goats just gave birth to baby goats and they're finally letting them out to be pet today!" 20) "I dream about flying all the time but I never thought I'd actually get to do it." 21) "Thanks for tonight, I had a really great time with you. I hope we can do it again soon." 22) "We should move in together. I mean, if you want." 23) "I don't want to lose you, and it took me a while to realize but I know what I want now. Will you marry me?" 24) "I wouldn't trade you for all the gold, silver, gems, or all the most expensive things in the world." 25) "You really are the love of my life."

Indigo 1) "They're obnoxious and loud and stupid and I can't believe I'm in love with them." 2) "You may be a star but you'll never be as big a star as VY Canis Majoris." 3) "The most fucked up thing I ever learned was that Luna moths don't have mouths or a digestive tract because their sole purpose is to mate. So they live for a week and then die because they starve to death." 4) "I think you have more outfits than you have IQ points." 5) "Can you just stop doing...whatever it is you're doing for like ten minutes." 6) "God you're so annoying, just stop breathing. Please? Just stop." 7) "I wish I were a plant, I wouldn't have to talk or think or do all this shit. I'd just have to soak up sunlight, soak up rain, and take in carbon dioxide. Being a plant really is the fucking dream." 8) "Hey, I heard Person A broke up with you. That sucks. So, um, do you think I could get my Chemistry book?" 9) "Are you still upset about your break up with Person A? You shouldn't be, I've seen their family members, they don't age well. But, um, that neighbor of yours, the cute one, their family looks pretty good. And with your genes you two would have some above average looking children." "Thank you?" "You're welcome." 10) "You know, you're terrible at giving advice." "Yeah, well, I'm not used to being around other humans." "Maybe just say people. Calling other people humans is kind of...weird." "Noted." 11) "Do you want to come to a party with me tonight?" "To what? Drink, embarrass myself, have to listen to terrible music, and interact with people I don't even like?" "Yes." "Pass. I'd rather be here studying plants." 12) "Would you like to go out sometime, on like a date?" "Sure, I guess. You just set up the blind date and I'll do my best. Though, maybe you could find me someone who at least can carry on a conversation with me." "No, I mean would you want to go out on a date with me?" "With you? Why would you want to date me? Don't you have plenty of other options?" "I like you." "We wouldn't work out. You and I are too different. You are good looking and nice and deserve someone who's like you. You don't want someone like me anyways. Besides I'd bore you to death before the appetizers came out." 13) "I care about you." "You? Thought you didn't care about anyone." "I don't. Usually. But I think the reason I care so much is because I like you." "You like me?" "Yeah, it's um... it's a new feeling for sure." 14) "What they said back there. You're not a robot." "No, I am. They're right. It's hard for me to be like the others. I didn't grow up having friends so I didn't know what it was like to care about anything other than school or projects." "You care about me. You said you care about me. Is that true." "Of course it's true." "Then you're not a robot." 15) "You kissed me back there. Why did you do that?" "I was testing a hypothesis." "Oh yeah? What was your hypothesis." "You would kiss me back if I kissed you." "And the results?" "Well, if worked the first time. But a good scientists always checks their work to be sure, right?" "That's correct, yes." 16) "Have you ever kissed anyone?" "I've done a lot of things." "Have you had sex?" "Yes, but it was purely for research. I wanted to know what certain things felt like and what certain things would do for others." "Only you could manage to make sex sound so boring." 17) "Hey, I was--are you watching porn?" "I'm researching for an experiment." "What kind? You gonna see what happens when you put your hand down your pants to that?" "No, I was studying to see if I could tell the difference between a real orgasm and a fake one." "If you wanted to study that you could have just asked me." 18) "Do you think I should socialize more?" "Since when do you care what I think? You're the one with a billion degrees." "Well, you're better with people than I am." 19) "You're hugging me." "Yeah. It's what friends do, they hug." "It's, um, nice. I think." 20) "Yesterday I felt the urge to hug the mailman. Isn't that weird?" "Did you hug the mailman?" "No." "Then it's not that weird. Probably just your body telling you it needs to be touched physically, you know?" "What?" "You crave physical touch." 21) "I think I'm lonely." "Yeah, I think you are too." "Should I start dating?" "Do you want to date?" "Not particularly." "Then maybe just try getting friends." 22) "If I have to spend another evening with that idiot I might lose it." "Is this because they thought photosynthesis had to do with photography?" "Don't remind me." 23) "We're having dinner with my friends tonight." "They hate me." "They don't hate you, you're just smarter than all of them combined." 24) "I can't talk to Person A, they tried to ask me about plant cells and actually thought that I was talking about a cellphone made of plants." "They're not very good at Science, but they like you a lot an they're trying to find ways to talk to you. It's cute. You should give them a chance. Take them to a Science museum." "Like, the ones for kids?" "Yeah. They'll love it." "Fine, but if it starts to go bad I'm texting you to call me and say there's an emergency so I can get out of it." "As long as you give it a try." 25) "They're in love with you, you know? Why do you ruin all your chances at love?" "Because sometimes I'm not sure I'm capable of feeling it."

Violet 1) "You smell like desperation. That a new cologne/perfume or is that just you?" 2) "I'm not here to play nice, I'm here to protect your ass because you couldn't follow simple instructions!" 3) "God, you are so annoying. I can't believe I have to put up with you for six months." 4) "Get your shit, we're getting out of here. I'm not leaving you in this hellhole, alright? Pack your stuff, you're coming with me." 5) "Are we gonna be a family?" "Let's not call it that, let's call it I'm taking care of you for a while alright?" "For how long?" "For as long as you want me to." 6) "Are you gonna be my mom/dad?" "WOAH! No. Absolutely not. I'll be your guardian, okay? And it's only temporary." 7) "Goddamn it, kid, wake up! You can't annoy the shit out of me for months and make me care about you just so you can die like this. I'm not allowing it. Come on, get up, kid. If you get up I'll take you to that Funland place you wanted to go. Anywhere you wanna go. I'll be better to you. I'll...fuck! I'll take care of you for the rest of your life. I'll teach you how to ride a bike and be there for you when you do Science fairs and shit. I'll be your mom/dad." 8) "You're stupid trying to save me like that. You can't swim." "You never taught me how to." "Yeah, well, I'm gonna teach you when we get out of here." 9) "You're evil and manipulative and you're mean and I kinda love that about you, kid. You remind me of me. If you want a place to sleep and food you don't have to dig out of the trash you can stay with me as long as you want." 10) "Can I get a motorcycle?" "Absolutely not, kid. As long as I'm alive the only two wheel thing you'll be riding on is a fucking bicycle." "Well, can I get a bicycle?" "Yeah, we can steal you one later." 11) "You might be the most annoying person I've ever met in the world but I'd die for you." 12) "If you ever come near me or my family I'll fucking kill you. I will bury you in a shallow grave and leave you as food for the worms. Do you understand me?" 13) "You're not going to die here because I'm gonna protect you." 14) "Hey, you trust me don't you?" "Yeah." "Good, you're going to have to disguise yourself. And whatever you do keep your head down, don't talk, and don't let go of me, okay?" 15) "Hey short stack." "You came for me?" "Course I did, did you really think I'd leave you behind?" 16) "I'm coming with you." "You're not." "I am and you can't stop me." "I can handcuff you to that bench over there and leave Person A the keys." "...well I would appreciate if you didn't do that." 17) "Hey there, stranger, haven't seen you in a while." "What the fuck are you doing here?" "Is that really how you greet your best friend?" 18) "Out of my way." "You'll die if you go in there." "And you'll die if I don't go in there." 19) "I'm always gonna be here for you, you know that? 20) "Woah, what's wrong, why are you crying?" "You'll be leaving after this." "Come here, I'm not leaving you after this. I'm staying here with you. Did you really think I'd leave you here all alone? You can barely make toast." 21) "Hey, you can't run off like that again, do you hear me?" "Yeah, whatever-" "No! No, you don't get to whatever me about this. You could have fucking died out there. So you look me in the eye and you promise me you're never going to do that again!" "I-I promise I'll never do it again!" 22) "Look, I'm not your parent so I'm not going to tell you what to do, but that kid you're hanging around is bad news. I've seen their arrest record, you shouldn't be hanging around them. I know they're nice right now but people like that take advantage of nice. I would know. I used to be like them." 23) "I love you. More than anything in the world and that's why I train so hard. I have to train harder because now I have to be stronger. Because now I finally have something worth fighting for." 24) "You can't come with me. You're staying here." "I want to fight!" "You're sick. You need to stay here with Person A, take some medicine, and get some rest." 25) "Hey, watch your mouth, no one talks like that in front of my kid!"

[origami10]

Ajin ch 86 thoughts

Okay, it’s been a little bit! Thoughts and spoilers under the cut! (Warning, this is very long)

Writing this in a word doc because a) I don’t want to risk going on tumblr and b) I don’t want to risk the post getting deleted in the middle  [note from the end: this ended up being four pages long in a Word document, so I’m sorry]

Ahhhh, last time buying the digital magazine ><    Until... if... Sakurai starts publishing something new...

It seems kind of unfair not to have Ajin be the cover feature if it’s ending DX I guess they’re just starting with a new series, though. Is that how that works? (It has a main character with white hair so I might be interested...) It’s at the beginning of the mag.

Okay, yeah, pages 111-175.  Aggghhhh I’ve always put off reading the end of series, but I think this is the first one I’ve been up to date with when it actually ended. Promised Neverland was close.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ooh completely new characters...?????? whoops overshot the starting page by a few ughhhh it’s definitely the last one... I mean we knew that, but still..... OMG NO IT’S IZUMI AND TANAKA ISN’T IT??    jeez woah  I can’t wait to hear other readers’ reactions    [edit: yes this was about clover, and she recorded her reaction, which was beautiful ;u;] also omg they’re at least appearing together

omg Sakurai’s author’s note: “It’s very cold, isn’t it. Everyone, I hope you don’t catch a cold.”       YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT’S ENDING?

okay, so at least some time skip Tanaka: New identity, who dis Ooh, Izumi called Tanaka “anta” – the rude/familiar version of ‘you’, rather than the polite one. Honestly I don’t remember but it’s probably what she called him previously. And then turns around and called him anata the next page X’D  Okay, I’m glad that not being consistent is okay in Japanese, I always worry/wonder about that ooooh so Tanaka doesn’t have a new identity YET. I wonder how long it’s been?? omg Tosaki prepared it??    Was he thinking that far ahead? Or is he not dead....   ???  okay so he made it ahead of time     oh, and Izumi was the one who asked him for it??? Oh wow, Izumi has yet another change of identity. I wonder if she’s back to (omggg I forget D: her original name... Tainaka [hah]) Also another great shot emphasizing their height difference X’) lmaoooo I always love when there manages to be some humor oh, they’re only about three years apart! I wonder if that helps pin down the timeline at all??

Aw, Izumi still respects Tosaki lmao  “I’m going home.” “You really have places to be?”  Oh I guess that wasn’t quite it- she really was wondering if he was had a living location... so he has been kinda on the run ><    [Sakurai. Sakurai, happy ending. There is, right? Right?]

Oh dude I really didn’t think we’d get any resolution on that ship and like, idk if this counts as resolution but it sure looks like it does right now okay I’m really sorry but part of me is like ///we’re using so many of the remaining pages on this///  although oh I guess it’s only been 10 pages... it feels like so many since the chapters have been so short lately...

heyyyyy  I mean we kinda knew the U.S. ajin would be back or else what was the point of introducing them Ogura not being dead at the end of the series is extremely impressive (also hopefully Kai :prayer hands:  as in I think he survived) so Ogura didn’t tell them he was coming back huh ... with the crew??? :eyes emoji: lmao AND they thought he was dead, I’m cackling oh okay so they had heard he wasn’t dead the close up of Jim’s face reminds of Kai somehow I guess this manga isn’t so long (and the U.S. ajin left enough of an impression) that at least we’re not like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE “I’ll kill you!!” “Go ahead!!”  HA Winnn I think the people in this series need to get their idea of ‘fun’ checked I don’t really understand what he says in the bubble after that... I’ll have to check the English did he like, metaphorically die because he’s out of FKs? I’m not up on my cigarette brands enough to know if that’s an FK or not... I think it’s what the brand turned into...? oh no what’s this omg    is it gonna be Kai? Are they all gonna be in there? Kotobuki??   also this is already super sad that not everyone got out of jail free... unless they did and I’ll see... but also it’s realistic so all for the best I guess?  i have no idea OH HA I thought it was the juvenile detention center but it’s Takahashi !  o_o not entirely sure I understand what Takahashi says to the guard either at least everyone’s having... fun??? KAI KAI KAI    gahhhh this looks exactly like how ch 69 started and agh they’re both in juvie but ahhhhh they’re together??         I’m already scared to read and actually find out –o- oh wait they have dates to get out!  and they said plural ‘we’ “That was fast”  I feel like that panel represents what this chapter means to me somehow lmao they just want them to be not their problem anymore... that really wraps it up nicely, hilariously, and realistically I’m glad I’m not translating this because there are really a couple lines where I don’t completely understand them “something happened that day”  um, yeah WOW I did NOT think we were going to get an answer to whether Kai was an ajin now or not, but I feel like that definitively answers that question?????     also that’s terribly funny HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW KEI REVIVED HIM??       -punches a wall-  Kai’s whole personality is  ‘I don’t really remember that happening’  >_____________________________> Kei... gave Kai a reason to live... because he almost died...?      I still kinda have faith in this wrapping up well but GOD Kai is not a character to invest all your emotion into, laughs cryingly Kotobuki: “You literally never make any sense, man.” oh no “ano natsu” GAH

I just realized that this almost certainly means Kai and Kou never met. There isn’t enough keysmashing in the world to express my desire to throw my laptop at a wall right now

In no way shape or form did I ever expect to get closure on Akiyama, even on him getting out of the barrel

Manabe definitely stole whatever it is he’s holding but it was probably some kind of personal effects...?  [my powers of prediction suck most of the time] he really looks beat up now ;u; Izukyū-Shimoda... Win, that’s not where you traveled, is it?  Maybe I saw it on the Sunday NHK travel program... but it’s also the end of the train line and has ferries going out into the ocean islands.  Is he getting away, or going home.......? or to Hirasawa or something...?

well that was an extremely abrupt shift are they really shooting Satou up into space they’re not using him as a test subject are they that sounds like an even more awful idea than I ever could have come up with okay... oh jeez can we please please not have Satou be Captain America you just KNOW he’s going to make trouble again, ,, , , ,!!

oh jeez Eriko! I didn’t expect to see her but it’s nice! it’s really sinking in that that’s all the closure we’re going to get on Kai isn’t it Eriko tsundere as if that needed confirmed okay cool, so she’s out of the hospital (for now)

It does seem appropriate? Likely? That Kei didn’t go home. WE BETTER SEE KOU THIS CHAPTER oh, it’s fall   (or winter? Izumi said it was cold...) oh phew

Sakurai said RIP KeiKai shippers I guess....  but they still influenced each other so that’s still shippable even though they’re not together?  sigh not everything is so straightforward and I guess it’s good it reflects that

Kei looks happy enough was Kei working a blue collar job with Kou or something? That’s 100% unexpected Kou adorable omg what is his new name gonna be Also ;-; so they’ve giving ajin rights but everyone’s still staying undercover...? or Kou isn’t I guess, that’s sweet oh wow we admit Tosaki’s great     I guess last chapter’s statement that they found his remains must have settled whether he’s alive or not ‘iroiro atta na’  YOU THINK    also pretty sure that’s Kai’s line from the drama CD what’s with that Kei face??? OMG PERF       also that is scarily close to what I wrote in a fic, but also pretty much to be expected crap I guess at least Tanaka and Izumi are with each other? KAI’S MOON JACKET   WITH THE SMILIE       we really messed up characterizing Kai as the sun haha he’s out he’s out he’s out is he going to meet someone literally zooming out on everyone (like at the end of last chapter too) is kinda messing with me Like they’re still around and doing stuff but we aren’t (don’t get to) watch them anymore Kou saying ‘let’s all meet again’... my heart is warm ;0; LMAO

we can at least rest assured that everyone stayed in character

I can’t I can’t I can’t  [note, this was when I thought Kei saying ‘nah’ was the last page]

O MM FRICKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

omg Sakurai you’ve done it again bwahahaah a coworker hit him and is like ‘oh cool fine nevermind’ this is WAY more hilarious than I was expecting for this chapter How do I always forget that Ajin has so much comedy not remembering what page number the chapter ends on is nice

Tankobon releases May 7th in Japan Elizaaaaaa Kei’s got a Shion coat

alright uh well I guess that’s good, in a way, we still get to imagine whatever we want

Finishing it hasn’t sunk in yet, I’ve have to get back to you on that one.

[rueitae]

Roommates in Disguise - Chapter 9

My last chapter! @fallen-angel-nightshade has the final chapter tomorrow!

Thank you so much to @whyamistillhungry for beta and @mybluelionlancylance for the outstanding art. You guys both really motivated us and we can’t thank you enough!

Read the chapter on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19901668/chapters/47478652

~~~~~

“I think I’d like to go on a date.”

The words ran through his head when he woke, when he showered, during breakfast, and as he sat at work twirling a pencil; the word document open on his computer remaining untouched.

“Are you working on the Founder’s Day Parade article?”

Lance sighed, calm delight filling his mind. “Yeah,” he answered dreamily. 

“Coran wants that on his desk today, you know.”

“It’ll be there,” Lance replied in his haze. He tapped the eraser on his keyboard. K. A. T. --

“... the press is under attack from the Green Starling.”

Lance hummed. I. E. “That’s nice.”

“She’s got Katie hostage.”

Lance dropped his pencil. Blood rushed to his head as he stood in a flurry. He’d promised to keep her safe! 

A hand with familiar fingerless gloves nabbed him by the arm. Warmth returned to his gut, quelling his icy powers - for now. There was no attack.

“What is going on with you?” Keith asked. “You’re acting even weirder than normal.”

Lance clenched his teeth and licked his parched lips. There was so much to it between his near breakthrough with Pidge and his relationship with Katie - how life was going right for once. “You wouldn’t understand,” he settled with. 

He grabbed his thermos and walked past Keith to the drinking fountain, not caring that their shoulders collided. 

“What do you really want?” Lance asked with a growl when Keith doesn’t leave him alone to fill his mug.

“Is that Katie Holt you’re thinking about?”

Unprompted jealousy filled his chest as he spun to face his rival intern. “What do you know about Katie?” he demanded. He gasped before his peer could respond, memory returning to him. Pointing a finger at Keith, he said, “You like her! I saw you watching her at Cafe Altea that day!”

Keith grit his teeth. “I was making sure Lotor didn’t take advantage of you - protecting you.” He sighed, frustration leaving his posture. “She’s been in the school paper - the Green Starling taking over her house was big news. I wrote the article.”

Lance bristled, something about the casualness in which Keith spoke of the incident rubbed him the wrong way. “Katie and I are going on date, if you must know.”

He couldn’t always get a surprised reaction out of Keith, so Lance relished in this one, grinning smugly as Keith gaped. “Um... congratulations. You’re… you two are okay with that?”

“Of course we are!” Lance exclaimed. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Because…” Keith stops himself, steeling his gaze. “Nothing.” 

And he began to walk away.

Lance had the worst feeling that he was missing something very important. While he and Keith butted heads often, Lance begrudgingly acknowledged he wasn’t a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. “W-wait! What do you mean?”

“Forget it, Lance! Just…” Keith turns around, an odd look of... sympathy on his face. “Just be careful, okay? I’ve been doing some Galra Corp stories and there’s some weird stuff going on. Stay away from them if you don’t want to get burned.”

Keith disappeared into the break room, leaving Lance standing dumbstruck. “What the quiznak?”

“They have you all fooled!”

~~~~~

All thoughts of Keith and their mysterious conversation was out of Lance’s mind by the time he left work that day. His heart thumped swiftly and there was nothing that could wipe the giddy smile off his face or quell the flutter in his chest - there was so much to do before tonight! 

Dinner would be candle-lit with spaghetti, meatballs, and garlic knots. Then an evening full of Killbot Melee and he’d tap it off with the biggest surprise of all; stargazing. 

There’s a beautiful high-end telescope in the closet of his bedroom, covered up with a sheet with dust on top of it. Lance doesn’t know when it was last used, but from the wear it looks as if it was well-loved. For weeks he’d been thinking about cleaning it off and putting it to use. It stirred up childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut. Using his powers to go fast was fun, but there was a nostalgic beauty to spacecraft; to pilot a machine to its full potential above the atmosphere and take in the majesty of space. 

Lance loved space. Katie’s eyes would light up whenever the stars wove into conversation. They could look at the details of the moon, make up their own constellations - talk about the great deeds of the heroes who they represented. 

He’d talk about the crafts and the missions; Katie would talk about orbits and black holes and the latest theory.

The genuine smile on her face and the light in her eyes… Lance could listen to her talk forever. 

And maybe, just maybe, if this worked out - and continued to work out, he dared to think - he would. 

Groceries first, loverboy.

Basket in hand he made his way through the aisles. It was nice to see the place cleaned up so quickly after he and Pidge trashed it in their fight. 

He found the fresh oregano and garlic against the newly built wall. The scent of wood behind the mortar was still fresh. An unpleasant knot filled his stomach; he still hadn’t come to any definite conclusions over his newest power - it was almost if… as if he had a berserk mode. 

Lance placed the items in his basket and walked away as quickly as he could. Later. He could worry about his own problems later. Katie came first today. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he couldn’t do that?

Grabbing ripe tomatoes on his way out of the produce section - because surely making the sauce from scratch would impress her, he’d have to thank Hunk for the recipe later - he strode over to the pasta aisle. Pausing with his hand over the traditional noodles, he spots the package further down - angel hair pasta. 

Lance grinned. That was far more romantic - he could think of at least ten flirtatious lines with simply the name of the pasta as a jumping point. 

Neatly and lovingly arranged bouquets were on display at the floral section. Lance selected a small one featuring a beautiful mix of a variety of flowers. 

Everything was going perfectly. 

~~~~~

There was a note waiting for him on the counter when he arrived home. He unloaded the ground beef from his bag as he read:

In and out for a school project. I’ve got laundry going - food at seven? Call my cell if I’m not upstairs by then. - Katie

As if on cue, the washer beeps to signal it finished with the current load. 

Perfect. The only thing that could ruin this night would be a visit from Pidge. Worry passed quickly. He’d had pretty good luck with Pdge leaving the city alone when he and Katie did things together. As long as he didn’t say it out loud and jinx himself, he saw no reason why the trend wouldn’t continue.

He opened the linen closet and squatted, using a discriminant eye to look for the table cloths. Fingering through a stack of them, a white one colored with red flowers caught his eye. The petals are large and sweeping, as if someone took a paintbrush and simply took a few strokes. The flowers with thin green stems seem to float on the cloth, like they’re raining down on him - on Katie. 

This is the one. 

Lance unfurled the cloth and with a flourish he let it land delicately on the dining room table. He ran his hand along the surface quickly, doing his best to straighten out the creases. 

Maybe he should tell her tonight, about being Icebound. He really should. They were good friends, of that Lance was confident. She deserved him to be upfront with her and he trusted she would keep his secret. 

He paused mid-rub of a particularly infuriating fold. A sickening feeling began to churn in his stomach.

Yet… when the thought crossed his mind, when he imagined what she might say in response to his confession, he couldn’t help but see a more insidious smirk on her face. In his mind it's a good, reasonable idea - dating wasn’t a time to keep secrets - but his gut… his gut screamed not to say anything about it. 

But his heart was tickled with the idea of having someone to share his hero exploits with. He liked the idea of it being Katie. They already talked about everything else, why not this?

Really, it would be easier to coordinate the search for her family this way. 

He continued his preparations. Plates, silverware, candles, napkins - paper towels, but he folded them nicely - and then with great care, the small bouquet at the center, are all arranged neatly on the table. 

Lance stepped lightly; this was fun. The anticipation of seeing Katie’s face at his over-the-top display was just one more thing to look forward to. 

His heart pounded and his cheeks warmed as he worked. He was genuinely looking forward to tonight. 

The laundry beeped done again. Lance rolled his eyes. Katie must be really wrapped up in her project. He dug his phone out of his pocket and sent her a quick text:

Laundry’s done. You called it, you got it. (I promise the reward is worth it *wink emoji*)

There was no need to start cooking for another hour or so, the food would get cold otherwise. Lance set the phone down on the counter. He grabbed the saucepan from the cabinets and the boiling pot for the noodles, setting them both near the stove. 

With all the materials he needed for cooking set out and ready, Lance moved on to what he hoped would be the perfect cap to the evening. If Katie was working so hard, she’d probably enjoy a nice bath. He’d prepare one for her, then let her soak away her worries before bed. She wouldn’t be able to refuse the gesture if the tub was already full with hot water and bubbles and scented candles. 

He couldn’t count the times he pined for a hot shower to ease his sore muscles - he missed hot water so much. 

Lance scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed again before declaring the tub clean. He plugged in an air freshener and a beachy smell began to fill the air. The pink bottle full of bath bubble liquid was set on the lip of the tub, ready for later use. 

The living room got the full treatment - vacuuming, dusting, air freshener. He even polished the wooden end tables, giving the area a fresh pine scent. 

Lance stretched, arching his aching back. Just cooking was left. 

His phone flashed red from its spot on the counter. “What the…” It had never done that before that he could remember. Eyebrow raised, he paused his date preparation to investigate. 

It wasn’t coming from the screen. He had no messages of any kind, not even an acknowledgement from Katie of the text he sent to her (that was no surprise). He turned it around in his hands, searching, until he found the flash coming from the battery case. 

He flipped it open.

Immediately, a microbot scurried out of it - itself blinking red. Lance gasped and dropped the phone to the floor. His heart trembled with fear as he backed as far away from it as he could, eventually stopped by the back of the couch. 

The nanobot disappeared but Lance continued to shake. He slid down the back of the couch, giving in to weak knees. 

That was one of Pidge’s bots. He’d recognize the difference between her and Katie’s anywhere. 

Pidge really had been keeping tabs on him this whole time. Through his phone. 

A small part of him worried she knew. Why hadn’t she acted on it? Up until now he had no idea about the phone and she’d told him explicitly about monitoring the house. Surely she’d have said something, gloated, held his identity hostage over his head. 

Muscles relax and breathing became easier. Maybe she doesn’t know.

Maybe she does and was toying with him.

He couldn’t let her know that he knew that she was tracking him. 

Lance buried his face in his knees, letting out a frustrated groan. If he was going to make that breakthrough with Pidge he needed to do it soon. He was running out of time. Pidge was always one step ahead of him and soon… he wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop her, couldn’t do anything to protect others. 

He’d be a prisoner in his own mind, held hostage by her threats.

A problem for tomorrow’s Lance. Today’s Lance was saving the evening for Katie. 

It was time to look the part. 

With renewed determination, he stalked to his bedroom and threw open the closet door. His wardrobe had grown over the time he’d been here - but this created a new problem.

What should he wear?

Work clothes were out of the question. He wanted to feel like he could have fun. Lance removed the hanger of his Gameflux t-shirt. He smiled as quickly as he frowned as he put it back on the rack; Katie loved this one, but he wanted something a little nicer, something dressy-casual. 

Lance growled, teeth grinding. “Fine,” he said with a huff. “Compromise time. Saturday we are doing some serious shopping.”

His dark jeans are worn, one of the few pieces of clothing left over from before the apartment fire. The collared blue sweater was almost too stark of a contrast, but Katie wouldn’t care what he wore. This was for him. 

Lance adjusted the collar, looking himself over in the body-length mirror. For the first time since his family passed away, he winked and flashed a flirtatious smile at himself. It felt good. It felt right. 

It felt like himself. 

“You’re going to kill it today, Lance,” he told mirror-him. “You finally found someone in town who can stand your dumb, gorgeous face.” 

He meant it, but deep down, something uncomfortable rested in his gut. Lance took a deep breath. The microbot had set him on edge. Everything was going to be fine. 

To top it off, he spotted himself with cheaper cologne than he liked. After he became a junior reporter the first thing he’d get for himself would be the brand he liked. 

The buzzer beeped on the washing machine. Hadn’t Katie taken her things out yet? Well, she had said she was in and out. 

Tonight was for her. The least he could do was take care of laundry. It wasn’t like loading the dryer was hard. 

He trudged down the stairs, steps not as light as earlier. The pit of worry that Pidge knew his identity continued to eat away at him. With each stair, a sense of foreboding grew, as if he was walking into a trap. 

He walked past Katie’s workshop - the one she’d taken back from Pidge all those months ago. The chair he’d once been captive in was still there, but the laser and other villainous machines are gone. A shiver wound its way up his arms. Lance doesn’t mind the cold, but crossed his arms and rubbed them regardless. This chill felt different. 

The dryer was empty, the wash long done. Katie must be out. 

Lance sifted through the load, mostly Katie’s stuff, and threw it in the dryer. The mundane chore let him breathe, at ease with the familiarity. 

Until he grabbed it. 

Long and twisted tightly around the dispenser, it wasn’t a towel. Thick and dark he lifted it out, curious. It was longer than a towel, like a coat. Why would Katie need a coat in summer?

Green accents around the collar and cuffs made him freeze. He couldn’t breathe. 

“I hate Galra Corp for taking my family from me.”

“Ms. Berry was right for yelling at you for those heroics.”

“I know what it's like to be alone and no one deserves that. Even heroes.”

“Well, say... hypothetically, if someone wanted to steal a bunch of chemicals, when would the best time this week to do it?”

“Genius doesn’t allow for plans!”

“I had a chance to find my brother today - you ruined it!”

“I… have something to tell you, Lance. I haven’t been honest with you and you deserve to know.”

Katie was washing Pidge’s coat. 

Katie’s coat. 

Dread filled him as he dropped to his knees, mind broken considering everything in a new light. Katie was never in danger.  

He… never really escaped that day. 

A door opened. Tears blurred his vision, but he knew there was no visible door there in the wall. It only made his heart shatter even more as Katie walked out of the hidden room wearing Pidge’s goggles on her forehead. 

Her eyes grow the size of saucers. “Lance! What are you doing down here? I told you I’d get the laundry and --” 

She cut herself off when Lance stood and raised the coat to where she could see it. 

“Why?” he choked out. There was so much he wanted to ask, wanted to scream. He doesn’t trust himself to say anything more. 

He could see it now. The fear in her eyes when he destroyed the flash drive - he felt sick, he destroyed the key to finding her brother - it’s the same. All he could see now was Pidge’s expressions on Katie’s face.

Because they were the same person.

“I… I can explain, Lance,” she started. “I was going to tell you tonight, I swear.”

But he didn’t give her a chance, anger rose to a boiling point. Lance doesn’t care that it comes at odds with his ice powers, making him even more queasy, he’s mad and terrified. He’s been living with his arch nemesis and falling in love with her. 

“Is that why you wondered if we could have a proper date? So you could gloat?” The accusations come faster than he could think. “Was that part of the plan too? Get me to lower my guard first?” 

“I like all of you, Lance.”

Because quiznak he had been ready to do that.

Katie - Pidge - swallowed thickly. “No - not anymore. I --”

Lance let the coat drop to the floor. It lands with a heavy flop, cutting her off. “I trusted you,” he said, voice trembling. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Pidge said hastily. 

She took a step forward and he found himself taking a step back, tense. “You - you destroyed my apartment so that I had to live here.” He took another step back, resting a shaky hand on a table;

“I didn’t know the lab was there. I just tried to... it wasn’t a meth lab, it was--” She took a deep breath. “Look, Lance, you’re not in danger here. I promise.”

Something in his brain snaps. “How do I know you’re not lying like you have been this entire time?” he exploded. He clenched his fists, unable to look her way. “Was anything about… us, real?”

“Of course it was!” she said quickly, stepping forward again. Lance couldn’t help it, despite her words he backpedels a few steps towards the stairs. “I like you a lot, Lance. I treasured every moment, from the day we went to the arcade to all the nights we just hang out and goof off. I’ve never felt more like myself since my family disappeared.”

A tinge of empathy twisted in his heart, but the hurt was too overwhelming. “Even though you’ve been hiding who you are?” Lance accused like a hypocrite. 

His heart stopped as her eyes turned hard, glinting with danger - a familiar Pidge expression. “And see where that got me,” she said, gesturing around them. Her face softened. “Please, Lance, I’m so sorry. I just need a chance to explain.”

“Explain what you want from me?” he hissed. “I’ve been the perfect captive for you.”

“You’re not,” she said firmly. 

Her words do nothing to calm him. “So you’d let me just walk out of here, take my things and go?”

Pidge sucked in a breath. Her eyes shone, as if his words actually hurt her. “That’s - that’s not the best idea,” she said. “You’re in legitimate danger - you’re a lot safer here.”

“Oh am I?” Lance spit. “With your death ray? What’s more dangerous than you threatening to kill me?”

“Haxus is after you! He’s been reporting to Galra Corp on your every movement!” 

Lance rolled his eyes. He couldn’t do this anymore. Looking at her, remembering all the good times they’ve had in this house - each one like a million painful pinpricks on his heart - he doesn’t want to remember. He took a few deep breaths before saying, “I’m leaving.”

Pidge jogged forward, arm out to reach for him. “Lance. I’m serious.” 

He turned and climbed the first few stairs.

“You promised you’d help me find my family!”

Lance stopped. He had promised.

But that was before he knew she was Pidge. He couldn’t help her anymore. 

I’m sorry, Mama, he thought. He’d tried to listen, but this knowledge of betrayal, her long term plan...

A hand wraps around his forearm. “Please.”

Cool mist formed around his skin, concentrated where Pidge held him until she removed her hand. In its place, icy armor that quickly ran up his whole arm. He squeezed the banister with his other hand; why not reveal himself? It wasn’t as if it mattered anymore. 

“I’m sorry I destroyed the flash drive,” he said quietly. He owed her that much.

“I forgive you,” she said quickly - a little too quickly, as if she’d already had time to think over it. “I should have done this a lot sooner. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be this close and --”

A knot twists in his stomach as he turned to face her. A mournful tone escaped his lips. “How long have you known?”

“... Since after the supermarket fight,” she said. There’s no lie in her voice, he believed her despite all of this. “I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

“I…” Tears threatened to overwhelm him, his chest tight.

“Please don’t go,” she begged. “They’re looking for you - I think they know. They’re looking for everyone who survived the accident.”

“Then let them find me,” he blurted out angrily. “At least they haven’t lied to me.” His legs move him up the stairs. He doesn’t stop. 

“Lance, stop!” 

He doesn’t. 

“They are lying to you! They aren’t after you for your benefit! Lance!” 

He opened the door to the ground level. 

“House! Initiate Protocol Six!”

Lance ran. He just wanted to sit down and cry. Instead, he shot ice shards into small drones that launch sticky webbing at his feet and all over his body. He shattered the large mechanical arms that attempted to restrain him. So much for being free to go.

Even when he managed to exit the house he kept running. He’d lost a home before, but this hurt a thousand times more than losing the apartment. 

He’d lost a friend. He’d trusted her and she’d used him. How badly he wanted to believe her apology. That’s what he’d wanted from Pidge wasn’t it? An apology and understanding? To work with her instead of against her? To bring out the good heart beneath?

“No matter what happens, I want you to know that.”

But what she’d done to him hurt far more than any physical wound she’d ever inflicted upon him. He wasn’t ready to forgive yet. He wasn’t sure he could. 

Lance was unsure for how long he ran, or how far from the house he’d ended up. He only knew how tired he was as he collapsed into an alleyway. After regaining his strength he could go… somewhere… Ms. Berry had said he was welcome at her niece’s home. Perhaps he’d go there.

The air was the perfect temperature, which meant it was chilly for everyone else. A raindrop fell on his nose.

It was just one of those times the weather was going to reflect his mood. “Great, as if things couldn’t get any worse,” he groaned, sniffing deeply.

He wanted things to go back to the way they were; no powers, no super villains, his family still alive.

He missed his mom so much. 

Something pricked him in the back of the neck, perking his senses. It was too big to be a bug. Lance reached around to grab it - and came away with a dart in his hand.

His heart leapt into his throat and he swallowed deeply, closing his eyes in despair. Had Pidge followed him so quickly? He slumped against the wall of the alleyway. Maybe that wasn’t so bad; she’d find him no matter where he went. He only wished he had more time to compose himself. He wasn’t ready to face her again so soon.

Sleep suddenly seemed like an amazing idea. His body doesn’t protest.

~~~~~

Unfamiliar machinery hummed loudly, consistently, rousing Lance to wake. 

The floor he lay on was comfortably cool, but could stand to use some cushioning. His eyes fluttered open to a curved grey ceiling - glass in his peripheral vision. Mind groggy, he groaned and flipped over to lay on his side. He faced a large window, floor to ceiling. He expected to see Pidge, dressed as Katie - resigned in his fear she’d show her villainous hand despite her earlier apologies.

On the other side - was not Pidge’s lab. 

Lance scrambled to sit up, heart racing in panic. He was in some sort of containment, wide enough he could lay down and stretch his arms and legs. 

There was no discernible door.

Past the glass, a laboratory. Tables are full of scientific equipment he doesn’t recognize, but he knew the grey and magenta tinted walls - though he hadn’t seen them since…

Since the fateful day he was chosen to deliver lunch to an employee at Galra Corp. The day the lab exploded as he was just about to walk out the door. The day he got his powers. 

Why was he here?

The door to the lab opened. First to enter was Haxus, who threw him an evil grin before holding the door open respectfully for a scientist, followed by Sendak, the chief security officer. 

A sense of wrongness intensified in his gut. 

“Hey!” he yelled, standing and pounding a fist against the glass. “Let me out of here! I’m one of the good guys!”

The door slammed shut behind Sendak with a troubling sense of finality. 

The scientist approached, grabbing a tablet off a table and powering it up. “Mr. McClain, it’s good to finally meet you face to face. You’re a rather difficult man to find.”

She sounded more like a James Bond villain than the bright smiles and cheerful disposition Galra scientists were portrayed having on the television commercials. 

Confusion set in. “I don’t understand,” he said. “I’m not hiding --”

Bright lights turn on inside the chamber, glowing reds and oranges. The temperature rose and Lance dropped to the floor - they’re heat lamps. It became hotter by the second and he couldn’t breathe --

“Subject is severely weakened to heat. Eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit brings him to his knees, ninety causes difficulty of breath,” the scientist said calmly. “Reducing temperature to sixty degrees.”

Lance collapsed as the heat lamps clicked off and blessedly cool mist rushed over his body. 

“I am Honerva,” the scientist told him. “I will be leading the study of how the Oriande serum has affected your body.”

“I think they know!”

Lance rose to his hands and knees, mind still spinning from the expose to the heat - heat someone with his age and health should have been able to handle with no problem, but rendered him helpless. 

“I - I’ve done nothing but help you!” he cried. “I’ve tried to protect your buildings and employees!”

“And your help is very much appreciated,” Honerva told him coolly, not even bothering to look up from her tablet. 

Lance looked past her, where Haxus leaned against the door, a smug smile on his face - as if he were enjoying watching Lance suffer  - and he probably was - and as if there was more of a show to come.  

“We have been searching very hard for your civilian identity,” Honerva continued. “Takashi Shirogane was the only employee known to be in the vicinity at the time of explosion, however, there are three vigilantes running around the city with powers. You can imagine our perplexion.”

Flame Dude and Sky Guy, Lance realized quickly. PhoenixFire and Arashi, their actual hero names flashed across his memory. One of them was Shiro (no way he was Flame Dude, Shiro was too awesome to be annoying like that). This is why neither of them had helped him in defending the city. His stomach churned uncomfortably. They knew Galra Corp was after them - Shiro had known they were in danger.

Why hadn’t they ever told him?

“We will find the other two in time. For now, it gives me the opportunity to focus on you.”

Lance hadn’t felt truly cold in ages, but her tone sent a chill down his spine. 

“I’m - I’m not a lab rat!” he protested. If that first test was any indication, the rats probably received better care. 

He’d have been better off with Pidge. Pidge who had tried to warn him - tried to protect him - and he hadn’t been able to see past his broken heart and anger to consider the sincerity in her words. 

He’d screwed up big time and was paying the price.

Honerva smiled at him, unkindly. “Thanks to your convenient survival, I will eventually re-engineer the correct combination of chemicals that resulted in your reception of ice powers.” 

“Why are you doing this?” he asked desperately. None of this made sense! “I’ve never done anything to do guys!”

Haxus snorted gleefully from his spot by the wall. “Except for having a hero complex.”

“Silence,” Sendak growled, banging his gigantic metal arm against the wall. The sound reverberated throughout the room, the force making his prison wobble. Haxus stood at attention.

Honerva sighed, perturbed. “Your services in preventing Ms. Holt from discovering this place will be taken into account.” She stepped up to the glass wall, towering over Lance as his heart raced despite resting on the floor. She placed a palm gently on the glass. “Do not be afraid,” she told him. “Because of you, President Zarkon will soon have powers of his own.”

“Wait,” Lance said. He doesn’t like the picture this new information painted. He’s sick to his stomach. “Why does President Zarkon want superpowers? He’s already the richest person in the city.”

Honerva tched. “Not everyone can be bought with wealth, Mr. McClain. If President Zarkon is to rule the world, he must have the ability to act.”

Lance chuckled. This situation was far from funny, he knew that; he could very well die. 

Honerva frowned. “A curious response.” She keyed in the information to her tablet. “Hysteria may be a possible side effect of the current Oriande Serum.”

He snorted and doubled over in laughter. 

Sendak hit the chamber, sending it rocking. “What’s so funny, brat?”

Lance laughed, eyes full of tears. “You guys,” he said, “are hilarious.”

The way they looked at each other in confusion made it even funnier. 

“Here I thought you were the good guys,” Lance explained through his laughter. “And I thought Pidge was the bad guy, but it's the opposite,” he howled, crossing his arms pointing left with his right hand and right with his left. 

“I got totally duped,” he threw his hands in the air, “and now it’s like a legit superhero movie and I am in serious trouble.”

He couldn’t stop laughing. This kind of stuff only happened in fiction and here he was smack dab in the middle of a conspiracy and he was definitely going to die if he couldn’t escape. 

Honerva let loose a deep sigh. “Sendak, begin the extraction procedure. I want a sample to work with before I run more tests on the boy.”

“Of course.”

A split second later Lance was hit with a prick that felt an awful lot like the tranquilizer earlier. 

Tears of laughter turned into tears of sorrow. Pidge had been right; she’d changed without him realizing and he shut her out of his life because he let fear and anger consume him.

No one was coming for him. 

[thefreshfinds]

THE RAW SHOWCASE

By: Natalee Gilbert

The RAW Showcase lived up to its name. Like its tagline states, everybody came to vibe. From a mile radius, friendships were formed, people were singing from the top of their lungs (the old and new bops), and everyone was anticipating to see the “R.eal A.uthentic W.itty” artists do their thing. Those who stepped onstage were S.B, Bindi Liebowitz, Sunliight, Kory Hiii, and Zeke Marlee (who, unfortunately, I missed speaking to.) The show was ran by Vision Society, Najee Lucky and J. Shider. Stepping into the atmosphere, I felt genuine connections. The lighting made the room setting intimate and many were allowed to interact with the artist performing. Those onstage shared common ground. All considered theirselves artist and had an undying passion for music. Their music stood for something, held a message and didn’t lead way to gate-drugs or violence. Some spoke on a personal level, dashing some relatability when telling what they’ve seen or heard. Overrall, everyone came from a good place. One of understanding. The music left others feeling good and at peace. The RAW Showcase came in with the new and left worries at the door. Everyone was having a good time.

S.B:

Every track from S.B doesn’t sound the same. Granted that his sound is constantly evolving, the artist makes music for any vibe, whether it be one that’s happy, confrontational, sad or nonchalant. One thing never changes, however. No matter where S.B steps foot, he happens to garner a new fan. S.B ultimately fits the depiction of a music vet. He’s got the suave stage presence down pat, and lyricism just comes easy. There’s no way to put him in a box. He’s multi-dimensional, to say the least. Since youth, S.B was one with music. At six, he learned how to play the sax and shortly after, S.B taught himself how to play the piano. Eventually, S.B began writing music. Then, everything accumulated. To date S.B has released 6 bangers. His recent, “Didn’t They” comes with gully, slick-mouthed bars that aren’t afraid to leave you with a black eye. “Fire Emoji,” on the other hand, comes with the Jersey talk. Once the alarm blares, S.B says he’s representing Garden State, but addressing the differences between himself and others. Spread over the aggressive back-drop, listeners get an earful of punchlines and entendres, that only bite back through the speakers. His feature, D.N.A matches the energy and comes hard like the natural vet, making sure that each line is not misunderstood. All-in-all both showed that nothing in life should be a gimmick. Be real. His discography also includes his enticing, fun, jungle-fever banger “Finna Get Naughty,” smooth cruising “Fly First Class,” “No Adderralls,” and highly acclaimed, “2 P.M” ft. Ziggy Zombie, This song was the most challenging because it took 2 weeks to figure out the chorus. But after that everything came easy. His word of advice for the upcoming artist and world is to keep growing. Don’t be scared to be different.

Instagram: @remembersb

Spotify:

KORY HIII:

Once Kory Hiii stepped in, the crowds got hyped up. His commanding stage presence came at attention spans with no delay. As Hiii’s words spluttered across the echoey room, it bounced back with an aggressive tone. People were feeling what he was saying. What he said held truth and it’s safe to say the crowd thought so too. Over time, Hii’s lyrics were being chanted back at him. There was even one moment when the crowd became a unit. However, this can be symbolic for many reasons. While interviewing the Union native, I came to know a line that spoke volumes, “I feel like planting the seeds and waiting for harvest/What you expect? I came from the Garden.” which essentially stands for Hiii’s city and state. The Garden, being New Jersey and the rest, “I feel like planting the seeds and waiting for harvest” being Union. Union’s mascot just so happens to be The Farmers. From just this proverb, one can see that unification is one of Hiii’s values.

Hiii considers himself a musician but moreso an artist. His music journey started with his cousin, 2 Honest, whose been rapping since he was young. 2 Honest always tried to push Hiii to rap, but he was playing basketball at the time. However, as Hiii got older and basketball was no longer a reality, he started rapping with his homies. That led to being put into his first song. Eventually, Hiii went on to work with his cousin and landed into Morgan State. Alone with a MacBook, Hiii started making music and getting more into it. Then the rest is history. Before he gets in the booth, he prays and also does so when going onstage. However, the rapper puts God before everything. His sound is nothing but organic. Hiii says he wants people to gain awareness. The message behind his sound is positivity and consciousness. In our interview, he goes to say “I’m just trying to get my sound right.” If you haven’t already bump his song, “The Get Back” everywhere! This song falls a tribute to Hiii’s grandmother and I can vouch for its star-power. Truly, a banger for the books. Hiii’s visual for “The Get Back” also made its way to World Star earlier this month, garnering traction from everyone riding through the city. Hiii also has a project out called Revenge of the Soular Sun.

Instagram: @koryhiii

Spotify:

Bindi Liebowitz:

A woman who can get pass you (especially if you don’t act right), Bindi Liebowitz is a female phenomenon full of charisma, wit and sultry energy. From the beginning of her performance, many listeners broke a sweat. Her stage presence, made jaws drop to the floor. Swaying in with high-knee boots and smokey black eyeshadow, Bindi sung soulfully and tapped into a confidence that made hearts flutter. The topic at hand was love and Bindi did diligence and giving each song a feeling. No denying it, Bindi basked in star-power. The singer/songwriter knew she loved singing since she was 6 or 8 years old. One day she was singing Aretha Franklin’s “Chain Of Fools” for her mother in the car. Once she finished, her mother caught the groove and said “Um, what? Girl, sing it again,” Then, with a vocal snap, Bindi went into a raspy, deep, soulful note range. However, Bindi didn’t know it was a talent. Naturally she felt the words and it was just a skill she mastered well. Bindi loved being onstage. This passion led her to NJPAC at 13 years old. Here, she took vocal lessons and began reading music, etc. Bindi was so into music that she even played the violin and joined chorus’. But she didn’t take it seriously until high school, “From choir, I began auditioning for the shows like American Idol and X Factor.” In 2014-2015, Bindi make her mark on American Idol. One year later, Bindi was on The Voice (Season 11), moving those across the nation. Now, Bindi continues to prosper in performing. No matter the gig, her impact spreads like wildfire. Likewise, the womanist empowers the generation and other woman. “We’re all beautiful and I’m going to let you know so. If you’re dope, the same thing. I don’t believe in giving someone the cold shoulder. I want to be the voice to let people know that we are getting things done, we do have feelings.” she says while adding “My style is based on the mood. I’m okay with that. I let it be expressed while I’m performing. I don’t want to pretend for the people that support me. I want to be real. Honestly, its edgy, bad-ass.” Bindi currently has 3 singles. “Over You” is her first single and one she gets excited performing. “Complicated” was released last year whereas “FaceTime” dropped in July.

Instagram: @thisisbindi

Spotify:

SUNLIGHT:

To describe Sunlight is this very line from his song, “Sunrise,” when they see the shine they know what’s up. His name matches the vibrant energy he possesses. To further put it, Sunlight radiates in all-around positivity. Between rapping vulnerable bars then undeniably hard ones, and singing with tranquility from the heart, Sunlight warms your soul as his voice flows through the ear streams of many. During our encounter, I could see passion shining through his eyes. His words came from a sincere place and I automatically felt at-home with this ambitious, fun-spirited musician. Sunlight started his music journey when he was 12 years old. He says “I always had a passion for it, I always enjoyed it. But I didn’t take it serious because I thought people wouldn’t take me serious. I was basing my performance off the judgement of others.” Thanks to his friends and family, Sunlight kept at it. He says they pushed him to keep going. Now, he’s here. His music’s style is undefinable. It’s something you have to get an earful of and determine. Sometimes he’ll get Chance the Rapper, others Kendrick Lamar or PARTYNEXTDOOR. Essentially, Sunlight makes feel-good music. For instance, the musician says that “Sunrise” is more of a wake-up song that demand you to have a good time whereas “Sunset” is for boo-loving. His project Too a Good Summer puts it to a tee. Alone, Sunlight’s sound gives off a cool, calm and collected vibe. The sunny-side-up artist finds influence in Childish Gambino and Jamie Foxx because they’re versatile. One New Jersey artist he’s like to collab with is Chris Patrick. And we both agree that he’s that dude. Sunlight leaves this word of advice for the upcoming artist: Be yourself. Don’t force a look or persona.

Instagram: @suunnnlight

Spotify:

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 115 - 111

115. GAITANA - “BE MY GUEST” UKRAINE 2012

WELCOOOOOOOOOME  🤗 GIRLS AND BOOOOOOY  🤗 TAKE MY HAND, LET’S ENJOOOOOOOY  🤗 FROM THE  BOTTOM OF MY HEAAAART  🤗 I WISH U THE BEST  🤗 U CAN BE MY GUEEEEST YEAH YEAH 🤗 U CAN BEEEEEE MY... GUEST 🤗

THIS SPLENDID HONKFEST <3 😍 FROM THE MOMENT SHE SAUNTERS ON THE STAGE LIKE A GRACIOUS GAZELLE, GAITANA LAYS DOWN THE LAW WITH EARDRUM-SPLITTING AUTHORITY. PIONEERING THE AGGRESSIVE DUBSTEP THAT WOULD REIGN RAMPANT THE YEAR HEREAFTER <3 TRENDSETTER 😍

OF COURSE, THE ROAD TO STARDOM HASN’T ALWAYS BEEN EASY FOR OUR HEROINE, BEING THE SUBJECT OF A PARLEMENTARY DEBATE UPON HER SELECTION. (”would it be acceptable to have someone like ~her~ represent us?” 😲😬) AND AGAIN AFTER SHE BOMBED IN THE TELEVOTE... FOR SOME REASON (hint: 🌚)

HOWEVER OUR EBON FAIRY TOOK A LEAF OUT OF CÉLINE DION’S HANDBOOK AND HARNESSED THE ~POWER OF LOVE~ TO OVERWHELM HER HATERS WITH AN IRRESISTABLE, THROBBING CALL FOR WARM AFFECTION. MUCH LIKE HOW MICHAL WAS THE LIVING :CRY: EMOJI, SO IS GAITAINA THE PERSONIFICATION OF :🤗: 

SO IN THE END IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH OR LITTLE HATE SHE GETS, 

JUST REMEMBER THAT SHE LOOOVES YOOOOOOOOO.

________________________________________________________________

114. Koit Toome & Laura - “Verona” Estonia 2017

[2017 review here]

The loss of ~our Verona~ in the 2017 semifinal came as an utter shock at the time, but the power of retrospective thinking has since shown it was obvious from the start. Sometimes we are just building and burning down loooooove  before the romance turns to DRAMA. 😭

"Verona” is shamelessly overdramatic and IN*KOIT*PETENT gaybait, which is of course exactly why I found it endearing and why the humorless snobs that made up the 2017 juries (DIE!) considered it the worst. (Daily fusedmarc beating Verona in the jury vote LMFAO <3). 

And I mean, if even if LauraKoit missed out on the finals (arguably deserved <3), “Verona” gave us much to hold on to. From the Lõhmus libretto and Laura’s struggles with getting the ridiculous metaphors right, cf.:

WE.ARE.LOST,

Lost in the crown of the Swede~

WE.ARE.LOST,

Like two silly boats in the sea~

to Koit sporting the creepiest variation of Lecterface,

“Verona” really was a RECKLESS TYPE OF CHEESEBALL, the western types of woman and western types of man simply weren’t prepared for. Bless their shrivelled hearts. 🤗 

________________________________________________________________

113. ByeAlex - “Kedvesem (Zoohacker Remix)” Hungary 2013

Hipster icon <3 Lol I remember refering to "Amar pelos dois” as “Kedvesem with tics” and I apologize because ByeAlex DOES NOT DESERVE to be lumped in Salvabore Sobrat. 😡 Helga Wéber would NOT pledge her services to the awful!! (um, ignoring that one time she and Zoli Adok wrote and produced a k-pop song lmfao)

When we talk about songs that, from one moment to another just ~happen~, “Kedvesem” is the first one I always think of. When it won “A Dal” I don’t think I could’ve been more indifferent. However, this mish/mosh/mash of a earworm eventually seeped into my (admittedly) thick skull and never left. Why would it? “Kedvesem” is the ultimate sleeper hit: A thoroughly pleasant and catchy song, it’s the type of introverted sniper that just ~creeps~ up on you, and before you know it, you’re addicted. I actually believe “Kedvesem”’s brand of deceptive catchiness is its best quality. It’s a love song that perfectly emulates how the process of “falling in love with somebody” goes down in real life and that makes it, quite frankly, brilliant.  

________________________________________________________________

112. Monika Linkyte & Vaidas Baumila - “This time” Lithuania 2015

However, I prefer Monika’s & Vaidas’s take on “love”. :TEE-HEE: 

Of course Anno MXV, in the calm after the Common Linnets storm, every country wanted to send their OWN GUITAR DUET!!! Estonia delivered the best one (d’uh), but Lithuania’s is pretty great as well. In true Lithuanian tradition, “This time” of course misses it romantic mark completely, framing relationships through a La-La-Land-tined lens. IT IS SO ANNOYING <3 

However, I love “This time” because it’s SO aggressive in shoving its sugary medicine down our throats. 

Reminder that Vaidas and Monika draw out their kiss three seconds longer than they were supposed to and miss their cues <3 This gif is REALTIME:

Also, providing Jurij with an opportunity to express his homosexuality in public without reprecussions. Inclusive Icons <3

The song is just a hurricane of warm holiday love. Can’t wait for the aftermath of them breaking up after summer and never conversing again. 😍

________________________________________________________________

111. Vilija - “Attention” Lithuania 2014

ATTENTION DEGENERATE MALES! Lithuanian Tenko Chabashira has arrived and has z-e-r-o time for your fukboi machinations! 😊

In this eye-watering, neon-coloured aggrofest, Vilija delivers a frontal ASSAULT on all the creeps hitting on girls in at bars. Give her *attention*, *a little care* (is this song about foreplay?) While also manhandling her dancer.  WHAT 👏 AN 👏 ICON 👏 OF 👏 FEMALE  👏 EMPOWERMENT. 😍 

As you can expect however, what really sells “Attention” to me is the terrible visual taste put on display here. Vilija’s outfit alone is a black-and-teal jumpsuit with glitter sleeves and a giant vinyl tutu with holes in it. 😍 btw, lmao @ the jumpsuit giving her the static hair.

She don’t need no electric, she is a burning light~

Simply imagining what the rest of Europe would’ve thought when first exposed to this song sends me reeling with laughter by itself. Most deserving BDex winner EVER!!!

[soccerball112]

How Having Cancer Helped Chris Odoi Realize That Soccer May Not Last Forever

The #AskASocerPro show is a Live video podcast where 11 year MLS vet and Mental Strength Coach Quincy Amarikwa dives into the mentalities of highly successful individuals both on and off the pitch. In this weeks episode Chris Odoi discussed about biggest misconception on being a MLS player,  What does he do off the field, his favorite memory and more.

Time Stamps

0:00-1:59 This might just be our mentally toughest episode yet with the 102nd episode. 👉🏽😶👈🏽

2:00-3:05 Why you need to adopt the MSL mindset. 👉🏽😶👈🏽

3:21-4:23 Don’t get left behind because you didn’t check out the Perfect Soccer Subscription

www.PerfectSoccerSkills.com/Subscription

4:22-6:42 Chris Odoi - MSL Mentee Joins The #AskASoccerPro Show!

6:43-9:20 Chris Odoi on how the Long Term Winners Mindset influences his decisions.

9:21-16:16 How Having Cancer Helped Chris Odoi Realize That Soccer May Not Last Forever, And What He Did About It.

16:17-22:11 Chris Odoi On How Fear Affects Him.

24:14-31:18 Chris Odoi on his biggest misconception on being a MLS player @markbtackett

31:19-36:15 What does Chris Odoi’s plan look like post career? @joe.jackson11

37:25-39:20 What does Chris Odoi do off the field to help him become a better player? @is.umar_

39:21-45:00 Why Chris Odoi uses the Perfect Soccer Time Management Worksheet

http://www.PerfectSoccerSkills.com/Time

47:40-51:12 Chris Odoi’s favorite memory from playing with Quincy

51:24-53:47 New competition between MSL Mentee’s Earl Edwards Jr. and Chris Odoi.

53:48-57:12 A Little Trash Talk And Why YOU MUST Purchase Your Perfect Soccer Subscription.

http://www.PerfectSoccerSkills.com/Subscription

57:13-59:18 How To Stay Up To Date With Chris Odoi And His Story.

If you would like to listen to the episode:

If you would like to watch the episode:

If you would like to read the interview:

*Transcript is unedited and machine-generated. There will be errors. For further clarity please refer to the audio or video.

Quincy Amarikwa (00:00):

We're all here to ride the MSL waves. You've mentioned the strength lead. I'd like to welcome you to another episode of the hashtag ask eight soccer pro [inaudible] art what's going on. RF. K refugees. Welcome. Welcome Eden EDI en. Welcome in Joe Jackson, Connor Johnson. Shannon, what up? Hi, David loud artists. What's going on? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Looking forward to today's episode and today's guest. Oh man. Almost, even. I got so excited for today's guest. I forgot to get, I forgot to download his graphics. Uh, what's going on? I'm doing well. Soccer, soccer sub podcast dropped by what's going on, Matt. What's happening. What's happening. Let's see. Um, yeah, I'm not going to be able to pull it up. Cause the internet at my house of residence is not, is not doing too hot right now. Um, spending that hard button, but all right, let's get into it because 2020 one's about that frequency.

Quincy Amarikwa (01:11):

I'm getting dialed in. I'm excited for today and I'm also excited for the, the, the, I don't even know how to describe it, but let's get into what I've got here. And, um, as we prepare for today's show guest, so, uh, what's going on everybody. Welcome to another episode of the hashtag. Ask a soccer pro show. I am your host. 12 year pro MLS cup champion, MLS comeback Claire, the year UC Davis hall of fame member, black players for change founder and MSL coach Quincy America. Now what is the MSL? You may be asking yourself, well, that's what we're here to discuss and break down every Thursday, 6:00 PM, PST 9:00 PM EST live here on the perfect soccer, Instagram account, the mental strength league. I mean, you had, uh, dropped those Ivan. You had emojis if you're down in the MSL and for those of you who are just now tuning into this frequency, hopefully you like what I did there.

Quincy Amarikwa (02:14):

It's a game of 40 chess, one where you're either aware and an active participant or you're upon in the game steady getting played. So what is the MSL? It is the mindset you need to accomplish your goals. Why should you have this mindset? So you can learn how to learn, why learn, how to learn? Well. So you can know how, and when you were stopping yourself from achieving your goals and what to do about it. And when does this mindset start? Well, when you take responsibility for where you are, even if where you are, isn't your fault and put forth a plan to learn what you need to, to continue forward. So if you guys are ready for two days episode, I'm going to need you guys to spam that heart button and drop below what you're excited for, uh, with today's episode as well, those humming your head, emojis, loving that, loving that love, and that love in that.

Quincy Amarikwa (03:05):

Uh, Joe Jackson already dropping them in your head emojis. Uh POBA Jr. Trevor Willis increased football, yo Jordan, what's going on, um, loving that scene. Everyone has spending the heart button and, uh, while everybody is doing that, sharing with me, what you're excited for today's episode in today's show guests, I'm going to give you guys a quick word from today's sponsor yet. So today's episode is brought to you by perfect soccer. The number one platform online to talk to learn from and work with pro soccer players. Sign up for your perfect soccer subscription today over@perfectsoccerskills.com slash subscriptions subscription that's subscription subscription, right? So this is for youth players to pros, coaches and parents get access to everything you'd ever need on your soccer journey with your perfect soccer subscription. Again, head over to perfect soccer skills.com/subscription today, and shout out Joe Jackson for dropping that link for everybody on the live here as they're spamming at heart button to sign up because an investment in perfect soccer, is that an investment in yourself?

Quincy Amarikwa (04:14):

You guys know what it is [inaudible] and, uh, I'm excited for today's show guest. We're having a future legend. I wouldn't even know, say future legend, current legend and future double legend. Chris, a, uh, my old teammate over at DC United and an MSL mentee of mine. Mans has been doing work and has an amazing story. Um, I'm excited to bring him on here today. Uh, uh, give the audience a little bit of breakdown of his mentality. I'll even let him share a little bit, um, let him, uh, we'll have him share a little bit of his story for those of you who aren't aware of, uh, where he's been and, um, get an idea of where he's going and, uh, any questions that you guys have, make sure you drop them in the comment or in the question box here. And I think I saw Chris had already joined in, so let me send him that so we can get him in here and get going. Uh, uh, Justin Mauro dropped in the live. What's going on brother say Chris's late. That's that's a fine where I come from, bro. Chris is not late. Mans was on time. He's been patiently waiting, uh, even patiently waiting cause I've I'm coming correct with the, uh, the official, the official introduction to the show. What's going on, brother? How you doing brother? And you're the actual legend man. I me bro. Hey, come on bro. Come on, come on, bro. You'll make me bless you're on the live. You know, yo love that.

Quincy Amarikwa (06:04):

Yo, I love that man. Repping the long-term winner's mindset, you know, uh, man, I pull up now you're making me, uh, relive good times. Um, I'm thinking about when we had the t-shirts, uh, at preseason 2020, uh, I saw you, I, the long-term winners mindset t-shirt immediately and say that that's me. That was mine. I mean, Hey, I need that. I need does it. Okay. Bet, bro. This is the only one I have, but facts it's yours. Yeah, no, I'm happy to see you still got it, brother. What a man. I know we'll, we'll end up talking about a whole bunch of stuff as we typically do. Uh, what, what made you, uh, what made you go for that, that shirt? What about that was, what about that represents you?

Quincy Amarikwa (06:52):

Yeah, the long-term mindset, something I really picked up off of you. That's something that you preached in our conversation, several conversations throughout our year together, um, you know, before go, the beating you and talking to you and learning your mindset. I was very stern sort term with my thinking and how I went day by day and how I went about life. Um, you know, just take a sort term for quick reference. You know, first couple of years in a lead, I wasn't really thinking about life after soccer. You know, like I'm a professional soccer player, things are going okay. You know, I'm not going to be here for awhile. Not thinking that anything can change at any moment. Uh, and things did. And my career was we'll probably get into a little later, which kind of starts shifting my mindset and that in addition with meeting you and talking to you and having our conversations, uh, so now more of a long-term thinker in terms of the way I operate.

Quincy Amarikwa (07:55):

That's awesome, man. No, I appreciate, I mean, I appreciate that and it's, it's cool, man. It's been cool to really see your progress and your process, you know, just like, uh, initially meeting you in DC, watching, watching you watch me and Earl just have long debates in the, in the locker room, uh, you know, helping me better understand, you know, your approach and how you think about things and you know, always, I will always tell you, you know what I mean? Like I learned just as much, I think I feel I learned even more from you, you know what I mean? Like, and I've always appreciated how open you've been in, in, um, your willingness to like recognize where you're at. Like, I, I guess my main thing I'm getting around to the directing is like, there's a, it's, it's a skillset of knowing you don't know everything, but also confident that you do know, you know, what you know, and you're good at what you do.

Quincy Amarikwa (08:59):

You know what I mean? So it's like, it's, it's a, it's a good, it's a good balance. And um, I always thought you did a really great job of that. And um, it's just been cool to see how that progressed over time. Um, you, you, of, you touched on it a little bit in terms of what might've kind of, kick-started your, Hey, you know, soccer doesn't doesn't necessarily, might not last forever. Um, w you want to give us a little bit of, uh, of your, of your story, you know, uh, of it, of what you'd like to share and, and, and what that process has been like for you.

Quincy Amarikwa (09:34):

Yeah, sure. So, um, I guess I'll take it back a little bit. Just give people a little bit of my background. Uh, Chris had deleted sham, my full name. If you didn't know, going into my fifth year of professional soccer with DC United, uh, born and raised in Maryland. So I'm from this area I've been here my whole life pretty much. And I think that's where it all stems from. You know, I think I've lived, uh, you know, a very good life, especially growing up. My parents worked very hard to give me all the resources I needed in order to be successful. You know, whether it was the, the schools I went to growing up, or, uh, finally it's to go to a better team. You know, growing up the team was an hour away. The practice was our way. Parents made that sacrifice to get me there in order to become a better player.

Quincy Amarikwa (10:25):

And I think that's where it was like, I was just, I was pretty much in a comfortable position for most of my life. Um, and that lasted a long time, you know, as I progressed and got older, uh, soccer was always pretty comfortable. I was always one of the better players in the area in high school. My junior year, the team that at school would, I was wanting to go to Maryland, can call her. And so I committed early my junior year, I got to Maryland four years started there. Uh, so, you know, this was all comfortable, but once I got to my procreate, that's when things got shaken up a little bit and started becoming a little uncomfortable for me. Uh, 2017, I got drafted to DC United, uh, two weeks into my first pre-season. I got hurt, got an injury was out for a couple of weeks, came back, got sent, uh, the USL team Richmond, uh, at the time.

Quincy Amarikwa (11:17):

And, uh, I couldn't even play there. You know, I, I knew I was not having a chance of playing with the first thing and I was fine with that. I'll get my experience. And he goes, so it's hard to get my chance for the first thing. I go down to USL and I can't even get on the field there, you know, I'm like a month or two in my career and I'm like, I'm play in the USL. Like maybe I'm not cut out for this, you know, just hard on myself and my mentality wasn't right at the time. But, uh, eventually that might've been a good thing. Uh, since I was playing there, then he kept me at DC and train. I started quickly Franny and eventually like an injury happened. I started getting back into the, to the roster and the best of planning and starting games.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:00):

So it worked out in the, uh, in the end. So my first year was okay towards the end of the year. I got hurt again. Um, and then 2018 happened my second year in the league. I had a decent first year, so I'm expecting my second year to be even better. I'm trying to take it up a notch and make a true impact in the league. And that wasn't the case at all. Uh, immediately just started dealing with injuries. My second year had the surgery and then I was just always, uh, not feeling good, not feeling right. Something was always wrong. I didn't know what it was. I was going to the team telling them something's off something, you know, can, can I get checked out, find something, they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I got in my head and started thinking like, Oh man, they must think I'm lying or making the sub that out.

Quincy Amarikwa (12:47):

I was like, man, maybe I'm not cut out for this. You know, just went to a bad path. And towards the end of the year, it came out that I had possibly as my former, uh, form of blood cancer. So, you know, uh, went through, you know, obviously that's a very life-changing event that happened for me. And, uh, you know, that's when I really picked up the idea that man, like my career really could have been over at any time and the time I'd spend off the field. I wasn't really preparing myself for life after soccer. You know, it was more of coming home and taking a big nap for two, two and a half hours, uh, playing video games that Alize the grant, whatever, you know, just not being very productive with my free time when we have so much free time as professional soccer players.

Quincy Amarikwa (13:39):

Uh, so, you know, I went through chemotherapy, eventually made it back on the field and, uh, you know, that's that following year 2019 is when I met you. So, uh, the combination of, you know, having a cancer and going through that experience and then meeting you, someone with your mindset, just the combination of those things together just really had me motivated to start just doing things that were better for, for my life. Maybe after soccer or just putting in the work. Now, changing my mentality on certain things, certain things that you pointed out, maybe some flaws in me that you would point out, but, uh, with you, the type of person you are being so selfless. And even though you pointed out these flaws in me, you were willing and more than able to help me throw them and helped me work on them. And the amount of time that we spent like having conversations, man, it was a lot throughout the year, but I was appreciated you spending that time, like passing on your knowledge and information that you accumulated over your lifetime and your career and your willingness to pass that on to anybody who was willing to listen as everybody here in perfect soccer knows, uh, that you have, that you have, that you have that mindset and that you have that get to pass that on to other people.

Quincy Amarikwa (15:01):

So that's not my story. That's kind of how I changed my mindset. And I'm still working on still constant process. I still fall short a lot of times, but, uh, you know, I'm still trying to go up and up, uh, as, as life goes on,

Quincy Amarikwa (15:15):

Man, I love that, man. You gave me teary-eyed over here, bro. Might try to try to make me cry over here on my show, bro. That's that's I mean, I, I appreciate that. That's like, that means a lot. I, um, um, yeah, but I wasn't expecting to hear that, man. I just was, I was just always, uh, focused on hopefully trying to share how to avoid many mistakes that I made because I've made, I made a whole lot of them and I'm sure you saw me make a whole, a whole lot more, even, even in our time in, uh, in DC. Right. Uh, but as you know, and we talked about here on the show with the three S's of self-awareness, you know, like, um, making mistakes is part of the process and being, being open to criticism and self reflection and self-awareness is, is, is key right?

Quincy Amarikwa (16:09):

To accomplishing your goals, said it, I said it a little bit earlier here in the intro of what the, a, what the MSM mindset is. And, uh, I think something that you pointed out as well as like, you, you fall short, but you're falling forward, you know, and if you've got the long-term winners mindset, you know, a loss or a setback, um, even you had mentioned it, um, when you were talking about, uh, when you got sent down to the USL very early in your, your, you know, your first year looking back on it, it's a positive, but during, it's not, it's not so positive. Right.

Quincy Amarikwa (16:46):

He talked about the, um, the state of self doubt, uh, questioning, am I cut out for this? You know, is it me? Is it the system? Is it, you know, it's a very uncomfortable, uh, face and I think what's great. What's great in your story and you sharing that is, um, a lot of players, parents, coaches, um, don't see that side of the game, right. They don't, they don't, they don't hear about that. That's not spoken to very frequently or often. And, um, it, it can, it can make people feel as though they're alone or they're by themselves, you know, they're by themselves in that. Um, so I, I think it's a amazing, your willingness to kind of share that and, um, and, and be so open. Um, when most people would be very scared, be very scared to be. Um, and, and that makes me even think about, uh, the, the conversations and, and, uh, jokes and stuff we'd have in the locker room about me always teasing you about being hella scary all the time. Right. Uh, okay. What, what do you, what do you think that, like, you know, I obviously I have my thoughts as to what it, what it is or what I think it to be, but like, for you, like, do you feel like those were rational fears? Do you think, like they're healthy? Like how, how do you describe what fear is? Like, what does fear to you?

Quincy Amarikwa (18:17):

Fear to me, I would say is the unknown. Um, so like our previous previously said, you know, I was always pretty much in a comfortable position and then didn't really care too much for too much change, you know? Uh, so, you know, fear to me is it's probably changed stepping into the unknown. And you were quick to point that out and said, do what you say. You're scared of just scary that I, I didn't like you saying that, but at the same time, you know, the fact that I realized, man, this question seems to send me like, this must be a real thing with me. Like, how do I, how do I work on, or how do I flex on it? And, you know, he gave me some great advice with that. And he said anything that's, you're, you're afraid of, or, uh, apprehensive to do, man, just step into it and see what you're scared of. He's like half the time, your head step in there and you look around, you're like, man, like I shouldn't, I shouldn't have got scared at all. You know, this isn't too bad that I, so, you know, I've tried to take that. So try to apply that. It's how to do things that, you know, a few years ago there was no chance I would have been doing so for sure, appreciate you for the poking at me, uh, to get, to get better.

Quincy Amarikwa (19:37):

Yeah. Not, uh, not everybody's too happy with my approach. Right. Uh, in the short term, um, the goal and hope is that in the long-term right. Um, it seemed for what it, what it's meant to be, which is a love, you know what I mean? Like I see your puppy. I see, I see where you are and I also see what you can become and what, you know, you can become for yourself. Right. Um, but nothing, nothing of greatness happens staying in your comfort zone, always, you know? And, um, it doesn't mean you're always going to step into step into the unknown and everything's going to go great. Sometimes it's gonna, it's going to go terribly wrong, but that also is an opportunity to learn. And I think you've, you've done it in your own way. And, and, uh, you know, you did the work I could, I could, you know, I can pull it out or call it out and tease you or, you know, encourage you, or however you want to, you know, someone might look at it as teasing and someone else looks at it as encouragement.

Quincy Amarikwa (20:43):

Right. Motivation. Um, so, and, and, and we talk a lot about that here. Right? Take negativity or positivity, or take negativity and turn it into positivity and take positivity and utilize it no matter what, it's energy. Right. So how are you going to utilize the energy to focus the attention people give you positive or negative? Um, so, uh, it's, it's no, it's, it's cool to, it's cool to see it. It's really cool to hear, because my point is really, you still have to do the work that matter if I call it out or pointed out, right? Like you're doing the work, your, your self reflect your step when you could maybe do more or when you need to do less, you know, cause you know, we're not all the same. We don't all have the same background, the same advantages disadvantages. And, um, what works for me might not work for you. Um, but your willingness to kind of, like I said, here, be confident in, in what, you know, but also open to seeing and hearing other things. I always, I always thought was a very valuable and, and um, impactful attribute that you have and, um, hopefully hopefully more clubs see that, understand that and, uh, and value that here moving forward. I, I, I think they will, if they're the smart ones will at least broke.

Quincy Amarikwa (22:11):

Um, okay. So let me see here. So everybody, uh, so obviously obviously a bunch of people are spending the heart button love and the love and the conversation so far, and a lot that you're talking about, um, uh, if anyone's got any questions, make sure questions for Chris, drop them in the, in the chat box here below also I'll look through the, um, Oh, Kevin joined in and said what up, um, tournament. Okay guys, you're talking about the tournament. What's uh, uh, uh, let's see. You always end up falling behind on the, on the scrolling here. Um, yeah, I've ever been on, this is your first live bro for something new, right? Yo, shout out.

Quincy Amarikwa (23:06):

I love that, man. You know, the, uh, it's very, uh, uh, we had DWP Bradley, right. Phillips was on. I want to say like episode, Oh man. Now to my knowledge. But, um, he came on, it was his first Instagram live as well to mans didn't know nothing about it. I was just like, what? Let's go, what up? Let's do it. Yeah. It was a great episode. So it was like, I respect that. That is a quality that a lot of people had, so they got to be prepared, perfectly love that. Uh, okay. So let's see what we got here, uh, at camp Kendall had said through adversity comes greatness and then dropped her I'm in the head and her I'm in the head. I'm in your head emojis. Uh, Kevin Perez said that boy, Chris is different. Right.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:02):

Having a different breed backs. Right.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:10):

Um, let's see.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:14):

Okay. So we got Mark Tackett, Mark [inaudible], um, asked, uh, what was your biggest misconception about being an MLS player?

Quincy Amarikwa (24:25):

Biggest misconception.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:27):

Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:37):

Like prior to being a player and then realized that once I get in trouble, once I get that

Quincy Amarikwa (24:43):

Yeah. Let's, let's go. Um, let's go with that.

Quincy Amarikwa (24:54):

Probably I bought, I was more prepared for the adversity. Like the first thing that I mentioned, you know, I was prepared not to play right away for the first team, but, you know, I thought for sure I'd be able to play, uh, start in the USO and it wasn't, I wasn't even getting into that. That was just a real rude awakening for me, uh, that I had to go through, but you know, maybe better in the long run. So, uh, yeah, I would say that, uh, that maybe not easy to play in MLS, but definitely in the USO. I thought I was well prepared for that.

Quincy Amarikwa (25:36):

Okay. I like, okay. So then what was it that you were missing at that time? Like, cause clearly you figured it out, right? Like where you figured out what you needed to do, what, what, what did you get comfortable? What were you too comfortable with? And like, how did you under S how did you, how did you underestimate it so greatly?

Quincy Amarikwa (26:02):

You know, I thought it was just a given that, okay, the first thing sends me down to USO are going to be playing and, and starting and getting my minutes because you're not allowed. That's how it works. And I think five of us were sent down from the first team and all the, all of the four others were starting to play the whole game. And I'm there sitting on the bench, the whole game. I'm like, like, like what's up with me? Like, what am I doing? And then I started seeing him, I played my play, started to decrease until just like all mentality. I was like, man, I'm like, good for this look good enough for this level. So, you know, that's what it was for me. And it was, it was hard to get out of that, but, you know, eventually they call me back to the first team to train and that's when I started helping my game and improving at a fast rate. But, you know, if they had left me there, I don't know what else would have happened to be honest.

Quincy Amarikwa (26:57):

Gotcha. So what, what did you, what did you hone in on focus in on, like, what was your kind of North star?

Quincy Amarikwa (27:06):

Uh, what do you mean? Exactly?

Quincy Amarikwa (27:09):

So like you, you, you went down, you weren't expecting that you weren't playing, you got kind of like a second opportunity at getting back up to the first team and getting some, some training. What, what about once you got back? What did you focus on? So that, that, that wouldn't happen to you. So like you focused on the, how you felt not being involved and that made you work harder. Um, and if so, like what did you work harder at? Like what did you stop taking for granted? What did you stop? Um, what did you stop thinking was a given?

Quincy Amarikwa (27:49):

Yeah, for sure. I didn't want to feel that feeling again. So when I get back, got back to DC training, I was prepared to go back down. But, uh, when I did go back down, I was like, okay, I'm gonna be ready next time I go back for sure. So it was just things like, uh, going to training and even staying at the training, you know, knowing our assistant coach Nolan, he was helping me a lot. He was the guy who I was talking to a lot throughout that time and helping me focus on certain things after practice, maybe it was after practice, I've stayed a little later within maybe 20, 20 crosses or something like that. There's different parts of my game, just trying to get better at the round, out my game. Um, so whenever I was, you know, as me thinking, going back to USAA, I'll be ready, but it came to the point where the opportunity opened up for me with the first team. And I think I took full advantage of it when I was, uh, put in there, you know, start playing games, subbing in and definitely started starting the games. And, you know, I think my first year after I played, you know, good to, uh, above average, you know, every game support supper, maybe one game, I had a bad game, but other than that, I was pretty consistent or, uh, really felt like I belonged after that.

Quincy Amarikwa (29:06):

Love that. Okay. So, so you, you got a slice of humble pie, right? And then had to be honest with yourself about that and know that you didn't want to feel that again, you got, you, you took self initiative, cause you said I'm not going to make that mistake again. And I'm going to do additional work prepared for the next time. And then you held yourself accountable to that, to the point that you didn't even have to end up getting sent back down. Cause it's almost like you learned your lesson and you started accelerating growing quickly from that, from that experience. So I like that, man, that's active, that's active, uh, execution of the three S's of self-awareness man.

Quincy Amarikwa (29:47):

No, the last part self, uh, accountability. That's a big part that I feel like sometimes I like to just stay consistent and disciplined and that, uh, uh, and when I'm doing so for that year, you know, I was pretty consistent with doing quite a bit of extra work after training. And I think I really hope, and I should be doing more of it now to be honest, but yeah,

Quincy Amarikwa (30:13):

No, I follow you. I think, I think that's the one that can get most difficult because when you hold yourself accountable, it becomes habit and routine and then that becomes comfortable, you know? And, and then I think I talk about it. We talk about a lot. I talk about it here on the show, you know, what got you here might not get you there. And especially at the professional sports level, right? It's, there's constantly someone that's coming for your spot. So we talk about, you know, adapt or die. You got to adapt times change and sometimes they change real quick, you know? And, um, uh, I think understanding your strengths and your weaknesses is, is crucial to developing a long-term winner's mindset and surviving, you know, uh, for the, for the longterm. So I think, yeah, I think your experience is very unique and your perspective is extremely unique. And, and because of that, I think it only will, it only helps you Excel in the professional, in the professional world, you know, and, um, I think, uh, that's kind of a good, good, uh, transition into the next question that came in from, uh, from Joe Jackson. Um, he had asked, uh, what, uh, what do you want to do after your career, or what do you think be interested in,

Quincy Amarikwa (31:31):

Hey, great question. Um, I'm still working on that, trying to figure exactly what I want to do post career. And I don't know if you wanted to bring that up or I can bring it up now, but, uh, I'll be starting the internship actually with, uh, Quincy and perfect soccer learning under him. I think that's just, it's just a great time for me, you know, I spent almost the last year or two really learning and doing, going through personal development and things like that, but I think it's now it's time to put things into action. So, you know, things came up maybe possibly going back to school or maybe get a MBA or something like that. But, uh, you know, our conversation has made you Quincy and you vastly brought up this idea of me, you know, really working under you and learning and helping you at perfect soccer. And I thought it was a great opportunity. So, uh, you know, you're going to have me in different roles and positions to figure out what I like best. And I think it would give me more of a clarity to figure out which direction I want to go post career.

Quincy Amarikwa (32:37):

And, uh, was, Joe had asked that question yet. And, uh, I was excited. I'm excited to announce that, uh, yeah, Chris will be joining as a perfect soccer intern starting out here, um, with us. Um, we've had, you know, several, several interns in the past so far and some have become a full members of our, of the perfect soccer team. Um, some have kind of moved on into other industries and areas and it's, uh, it's been an amazing process. Um, Chris has helped us with our newly updated onboarding process, which has been awesome and, uh, creating a space where like he had mentioned, he can kind of, um, figure out where he wants to go because as a lot of, um, our followers and members, um, struggled with is, you know, how do I figure out what it is that I want to do? How do I know what I want to do?

Quincy Amarikwa (33:29):

That's like, that's a big task, you know, and a lot of people just put it on delay and they procrastinate, right. Cause they're just like, ah, I'll do it later. I'll figure it out later. I'll figure it out later. And very similar where you said, Hey, as a pro player, you got a lot of time, right? As a, as a, you know, a kid in high school in junior high kid in elementary school kid in college, you, you have a lot of time, you know, and, um, working and at a slow pace to figure that out is better than delaying it. So you said you've been, you've been researching personal development learning kind of tasting a little bit here and there over the last two years. And in that two year time, then it said, Hey, I think I want to, I want to dabble in this.

Quincy Amarikwa (34:15):

I know you're doing, you were trying to, you're a little bit of re real estate and you know, stock market. And I mean, I think my point is people think that you have to have it all figured out right away and from the beginning. And that's not the case, you know, that that's not the case at all. And, um, hopefully here with conversations like this and a big reason why I wanted to have you as a, you know, episode one Oh two of the show is, um, creating that space. So we have the room to figure it out. You know, we're not going to know everything. We're going to make mistakes. You can try something and that will maybe let you know that you don't want anything to do with it. And it's okay. Let's move on to something else. But let's also, let's also make sure we have a plan that we can commit to, um, over time, this is that longterm winners mindset.

Quincy Amarikwa (35:04):

I'm just, I'm just seeing, I'm just like your ex you're just you're executing on it. Right. You're living it. And, um, it, I guess it makes me reflect on like being in the locker room and I can be preaching it and saying it, and then it can be, I act, Quincy, Quincy, just talk him just the same old thing. Right. And I get that, right. Like, that's good, good. If I get tired and you're, you're sick of hearing me. That means you, at least you heard me say, you know, if, and when you hit that typical time or that road or whatever, if, if, if that story is helpful, cool. I did my job. Right. That's how I'm looking at it. And, uh, E being on this side, in terms of just seeing the results of the work that you've been doing in your free time, right?

Quincy Amarikwa (35:54):

Like when no, one's looking, holding yourself accountable, taking initiative, being honest with yourself, like the results speak, you know, and I, I think it's been well-deserved and I think you've earned. I think you've earned it, you know? So I'm, I'm just, uh, I'm proud of what you've been doing. And, um, I'm excited for, for what's what's to come and your future man. And, uh, you got other, uh, you got other fans, uh, uh, Philippe joined in, gave away. Yeah. Uh, uh, Earl, Earl Edwards Jr. Came and said, ah, I'm mad. I missed the first half of this one. Let me see. Okay. Yeah. So like I said, I'll fall behind on the step. Okay. So Earl's on Earl said for everyone watching Quincy, Chris and I sat side by side in the DC locker room and would have Cabos just like this every day for hours. Um, it was, it was our intro into the MSL life-changing, uh, Facebook. And he said, yeah, four hours. Yeah. You said four hours, but four hours. Isn't far off LOL. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you got, uh, Christina dropped, uh I'm in your head emojis, uh, jaw. Oh yeah. W it was a jaw had said, Oh, just finish a sweaty run. Didn't want to, didn't want to, but I'm part of the MSL school. I, uh, let's see. I think I saw another question for you. Come in here. Um, okay. Is dot Umar, U U M a R underscore said, Hey, Chris, what's the number one thing you do off the field that helps you progress as a player?

Quincy Amarikwa (37:36):

How I spend my time though, like I said, I used to spend it not being productive at all waste of time. It was just cool. Like, you just have to find a balance that works for you, but you can't be all one end of the spectrum too much. So before, when it was solely like TV, NABS, whatever, now it's more learning like, like you had previously said, learning about investing in real estate, investing in a stock market, you know, something that can set me up for, for the future, uh, you know, and continue to develop. So, uh, I've taken certain courses. They have free courses online, uh, that spend time on, uh, financial literacy course was kind of introductory me too, but I found another one on my own. Just how to better manage my money on my home and stuff like that. Uh, what else I spent my time doing, uh, um, I cook a lot now. Uh, you know, I changed my diet, so I have to cook a lot more for me, uh, spend time meditating. Uh, I tried to do that as soon as I wake up in the morning I go to sleep. I felt like that's really helped me, um, clear my head. Um, but yeah, just try to be productive with my free time. Um, for sure.

Quincy Amarikwa (39:05):

I love, I love that. Um, I can stand to do that a bit more. I did. I tried meditating. I did that for a little bit. Um, I liked that and enjoyed that. Like, I need to make time for that. That one's a good one. Um, you'd mentioned a lot of that is coming down to like time management. Did, um, did you utilize the time management, uh, worksheet and training that we had?

Quincy Amarikwa (39:29):

Yeah. So for those of you don't know, uh, once we Earl and I started talking to Quincy and he started to bring us into the MSL mindset, uh, he had, uh, started, uh, clock in what we're doing and how we're spending our time every day, what we're doing every 30 minutes of the day. Um, so, you know, I definitely got really into that. And just at first you could kind of see how you would spend your time and how it wasn't productive, and you really don't really notice it or realize when you're doing it, but when you have to write it down and type it, and you're spending box at the box saying watching TV, watching TV, watching TV, it's like, man, like maybe I shouldn't be spending as much time watching TV. And that was a great thing for me is, uh, um, to be honest, I'm still not currently doing that right now, but I definitely do have better, uh, knowledge of what I'm doing and how I'm spending my time. But, you know, for that first year I did it, uh, I did it consistently for a year. I think you're helping. It really did help me in a lot of ways, seeing how I spend my time more productive,

Quincy Amarikwa (40:44):

I'd love that we can. I think for the longest time I thought I thought the problem was, uh, I thought the root problem was a financial problem, like of like, okay, everyone spends their time doing things to kind of, to make money or to earn money so that they can take vacation and start a business, invest in their futures, pay for school, whatever. Right. And I was going like, okay, a lot of people don't have a financial literacy so that, you know, I focused on building that, that first financial literacy course and, and sharing what I had learned and mistakes I've made and the real estate deals and all that stuff. And it wasn't necessarily resulting in what I thought it was until I really focusing. And I went, you know what, it's actually, it's a time literacy, literacy, uh, issue, right? Like it's like people, people, one, they don't know how to budget their money.

Quincy Amarikwa (41:36):

That's one problem. But worse is, people don't know how to budget their time, you know? And to the point that you're making is, you know, when you're not writing down where you spend your time, you literally don't see your time. You don't see it. So you don't even, you don't realize you are bleeding time. Right. Um, and, uh, once, once we put together that time management worksheet, I mean, for me, that was like the light bulb for me, in terms of like how I can better utilize my time as well too, is showcasing how guys can learn, how to budget and manage their time, their time for themselves. Um, and with you saying that, you know, is that you stuck to it for a year, that's massive, right. It becomes a habit. And now you can start thinking in terms of your time allocation and you don't necessarily have to write it every day to break up your day into 30 minutes segments.

Quincy Amarikwa (42:36):

Right. For sure. Um, it's a, it's an act, it's a practice in meditation it's own way because you have to be focused on a task for a certain duration of time. And it's a task that you might not necessarily enjoy because it's showing you where you fall short and literally have to confront it every day. Like you're looking at your BS every day and you're just like, okay, can I keep looking at this and still do it and not like, and then make excuses as to why that opportunity was because of someone else, you know? Um, no, it's beautiful. Uh, cause I was thinking with, uh, Earl, right. Earl's I think Earl's more my temperament like, go, go, go today. Yes. Okay. Go, go, go crash bird. Do it again. Uh, uh, and seeing, seeing you guys approach the time management sheet and the, the, uh, the feedback I get from you guys in terms of like hating it.

Quincy Amarikwa (43:40):

Yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (43:46):

Is, you know, this is, this is stupid, you know what I mean? Like what's the point I don't see. And I go, yeah. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (43:58):

Yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (43:58):

Yeah, man. Uh, it's, it's, it's uh, it's positive feedback. It's good to hear. Right. Cause like the feedback now is like, all right. Yeah, yeah. Like that was helpful. You know what I mean? I didn't enjoy it. I look at it like preseason, I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy throwing up. Cause I ran too hard and I didn't have fun doing the beep test, but I am happy that I'm healthy in the middle of the year and I'm fit and I'm ready to, uh, destroy the team that we're playing on the weekend. You know? So, uh, yeah bro,

Quincy Amarikwa (44:31):

I did.

Quincy Amarikwa (44:32):

I didn't know. I didn't know you, uh, you utilized it for over a year, man. That's dope. I'd have to ask the girl Earl tapped out after, I don't know Earl. How, how long until you tapped out on the time management sheet, man, let's see. Uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (44:50):

No more crying.

Quincy Amarikwa (44:51):

Okay. Uh, John just said, keep out at every one time to get on that homework grind. I'm in your head. Uh, see you all next time. Thank you, Quincy. And thank you, Chris. So yeah, I think a lot of people are really enjoying this episode, man, and have taken up an awful lot of gems from you. Um, and I appreciate the time man. Umar said appreciate the answers brother. Um, Wessex uh, gave you three goat emojis all in a row

Quincy Amarikwa (45:19):

And that's my guy, friends man from second grade. Oh wow. Shout out West,

Quincy Amarikwa (45:27):

The most diesel a school teacher.

Quincy Amarikwa (45:30):

Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (45:36):

I love that role. He's got to start Instagram account bro. Just flex them on everybody.

Quincy Amarikwa (45:42):

Uh,

Quincy Amarikwa (45:42):

Let's see. Okay. Joe Jackson said, yo Quincy, that's the next challenge. Try to fill out the time management cheat every day for six months, I liked that we could do that. Um, uh, uh, last week, um, last week we had our first winner of the 10 pushup challenge. Um, what, what it was was I challenged our, our followers to say, okay, all you have to do in this offer still stands. All you have to do is 10 pushups every day without and not miss a day for six months, you do that. You get some free perfect soccer Merck. And uh, I think has been like two years sentence going on and we've only had one, one person she's made it so far. Uh it's it's it's easy physically. It's difficult mentally. Um, let's see. Earl had said, I remember not wanting to tell you, uh, why the time sheet was hard to embarrassing.

Quincy Amarikwa (46:42):

Yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (46:42):

Uh, okay. Earl said I actually lasted a little over a year. Okay. That's decent. I just took a short hiatus early on. Cause I wasn't ready for all that. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I avoided you for two weeks. Uh, yeah. I love that. The part of the, the part of the process where everyone I work with goes on a hiatus. It just ignores me and sends me no messages. It just doesn't look me in the eye for however long. And I'm like, uh, okay. Uh, I guess either I'll never talk to them again or there'll be back around once they they've calmed down or

Quincy Amarikwa (47:23):

Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (47:24):

I love that. Right. Okay. Uh, now I, I love time, man. We've got, let's say we've got about 10 more minutes here before. Uh, we'll. We'll wrap up the hour here. Uh let's uh, keep it more. I know we've gone deep on a lot of things. What what's uh, so some foams fun stories or, uh, something that stands out to you during our time in, um, during our time in 2019, like couples share a couple of stories, uh, that you thought were, were ridiculous. Stupid, funny, sad. Uh, w what do you got?

Quincy Amarikwa (48:01):

Definitely some funny moments. Um, one off the top of my head is, is your introduction to the team, but, uh, with the presentation and then Earl, the reason why Earl awarded you for first couple of months, and that's, that's always a funny story. You can tell this story.

Quincy Amarikwa (48:22):

No. Okay. All right. So why do you, you remember it? Like, Oh, okay. I've never, okay. I've never heard from your perspective, so, okay. I'll give a quick background story on that. Right. So for those who don't know, Earl essentially like blew me off for the first, like three months. So like Earl had said in the, in the comments there, uh, Chris Earl and myself were right next to each other as locker mates while I was at DC. Right. But for the first three months, Earl just ignored my existence. Thought I was the dumbest person who ever existed and just wrote me off right from the beginning. And he wrote me off because of a joke I made at the, uh, MLS, like introduction presentation, where they, they go over all the things you can, you and things you can, and can't say on the board and the guy who was giving the presentation was saying every word and doing everything, but avoided saying the N word. Right.

Quincy Amarikwa (49:20):

You know, and I can tell he's on the hot seat and he really wanted to move on from it. And I had raised my hand and he is, Oh, okay. Quincy called me and said, Hey, what's that word? I, all the other words I've written out, but what about that, that, that word there? He said, which one was it? The end? That one, what does the word, what is that? And he was, he was just sitting there for a little bit before I was, I said, Oh, I thought it was, hell, I still think it's hilarious, bro.

Quincy Amarikwa (49:48):

I thought it was hilarious. I was dying. Like the,

Quincy Amarikwa (49:51):

Okay, well that's okay. I love that. So like, what was your experience? Because Earl thought it was the dumbest joke out of ti like wrote me off for three months. Uh, what, what were your, what were your thoughts?

Quincy Amarikwa (50:05):

Yeah, that was my first time. Cause this was like your first day, right? So no one really knows who you are. I don't know. I didn't really know you. And literally that's my first thing I hear you say is like, Oh, what's that N word up there. And gas trace and how Shirky was up there, man. I was laughing in the back of the room when, uh, you know, he gets to see in the locker room. Some people find it funny. Some people didn't Earl was obviously one who did not find that plenty at all to the point where he didn't want to talk to Quincy for like three months off of that one joke. But I thought it was funny,

Quincy Amarikwa (50:46):

Bro. You gotta shoot your shot, bro. Like, like, well, hopefully that, okay. So there's a lesson to be learned there. Like, Hey, there's, there's not much that you can't recover from. There's a, there's a path back, you know what I mean? Like, Hey,

Quincy Amarikwa (51:04):

Takes time to get there. You'll get back there.

Quincy Amarikwa (51:09):

Yeah. He said, yo, I'm crying. Oh man. Uh, okay. Uh, Oh, Joe Jackson. Yeah. I remember that story. Uh, Oh yeah. And Earl said, I'm sure you guys cover this. We did not yet. So I'm glad that you brought it up. Uh, but he said, Chris, congratulations again on the new contract. Uh, uh, for those who don't know, uh, Chris just signed his new deal with DC United, uh, ink, the deal. What? Little less than a week or two weeks ago. Okay.

Quincy Amarikwa (51:40):

Yeah. About a week and a half ago last week.

Quincy Amarikwa (51:44):

Well, congratulations on that. I know we're uh, we're just to see what 2020 has to has in store as well as beyond, um,

Quincy Amarikwa (51:54):

Appreciate her shout out to her for, uh, signing with new England.

Quincy Amarikwa (51:59):

Yes. Right? This man's making moves, bro. Hey, so what's uh, if uh, new England meets DC bro, this year who who's, who's coming away with the w yeah.

Quincy Amarikwa (52:13):

You already know, you probably know Aero already knows to come on, man. Next, next question. Next question.

Quincy Amarikwa (52:32):

EMA cover for you, bro. Bro, bro email. Still. He still has to come talk to me yet, bro. You tell this man, bro. He's not yay. EMA. Where you at, bro? Where are you back? Oh man. I love that. Oh, okay. Uh, Dania. Any other stories? Any, any other ones that come to mind?

Quincy Amarikwa (52:57):

I'm not sure. What about you? You, you have any off the top of your,

Quincy Amarikwa (53:01):

Uh, let me, uh, let me think. Oh, uh, I'll let you think while I see Earl now Earl's show throwing his shots. I know he's wishing he could three way call in on this is 1996, weights, eight wins in any trophies. Um, man, I hope, I hope I ended up getting back into the Emma MSL. I've always been in the MSL bro, but getting back to the FLS road just so I can show up to you guys to cities and just talk mad

Quincy Amarikwa (53:43):

Marrow, man. We all, we always go back and forth on trash talk and especially like football, you know, he's a big, uh, chargers fan. I'm a big football team, Washington football team fan. So, you know, we always go back forth on that fantasy football. So we will always talk trash to each other.

Quincy Amarikwa (54:04):

Is it, it doesn't mean anything unless we're, unless there's putting something on the line bro. And Earl said he seen EMA today looking like a beast. Don't be scared to get outta here. Uh, uh, Chris, Chris always ends with you. Got it. Uh, yo okay. No, what we'll do we'll table it. I appreciate that, man. Uh, this has been a good life. I'm glad we got to wrap a bit, uh, share, share a bit of what's going on, make some amazing announcement, uh, announcements and I'm looking forward to, uh, you join into perfect soccer team here, moving forward. We'll figure out, you know, how that will look and, um, what you'll be involved with. I'm sure the fans will see you on a live here or something. Uh, you guys, if you've got any questions or ideas, make sure you send them in contact@perfectsoccerskills.com. Um, we'll, uh, we'll be getting clips in the replay of this episode and published on next Tuesday.

Quincy Amarikwa (55:13):

So for those of you who miss out on the lives, you got to wait some time before you get to re download any of the knowledge. Um, uh, shout out to, uh, Chris again for joining in today. And for those of you who haven't yet, make sure you go to perfect soccer skills.com/subscription, get your perfect soccer subscription. You'll get access to all of our books, tools, training center, uh, training resources, uh, the time management sheet that, uh, Chris is talking about. The, um, the perfect soccer player blueprint, the ultimate college soccer recruiting blueprint, the goalkeeper, uh, blueprint. Oh man, I'm trying to think of all the stuff we've got the pro weekly now, uh, beginner, intermediate and advanced, um, at-home private, uh, personalized training programs, uh, every week, every Sunday. So all seven days of the week, that includes mentality training. Um, as well as we'll, we're setting up a weekly zoom training sessions and deep dive, uh, private MSL sessions, uh, just like this.

Quincy Amarikwa (56:12):

So, um, there's a lot that comes with that perfect soccer subscription. We're also including the monthly subscription comes with a free perfect soccer mini ball. A year subscription comes with the perfect soccer match ball. You hit a perfect soccer, uh, uh, resume. So, uh, your own website with, uh, edited services and a highlight tape and all that to promote yourselves, to coaches and, um, uh, teams to get scouted plus a breakdown of how to reach out to college coaches, um, professional coaches, agents, and, uh, get yourself promoted, promoted, properly marketed. So you can play with the team of your choice. The purpose soccer subscription comes with a whole bunch of stuff. I'm, I'm missing a bunch of things. Um, I get so wrapped up in, uh, getting to the, uh, the mindset, the strategies and all of that, that I, I always forget to promote where everybody can get access to everything. So I wanted to make sure I take a, took a moment to let everybody know about the perfect soccer subscription. Uh, thank, uh, Chris again for joining in, um, man, everyone's spamming that heart button. They're loving this, uh, the drop and I'm in the head emojis for you, Chris, uh, before, before you take off here, is there anything you, uh, you were wanting to, uh, share, promote, um, let the followers know about, uh, to where they, where can they follow you? Um, yeah,

Quincy Amarikwa (57:31):

Yeah, no, uh, I only have Instagram, so you can find me there. Chris underscore I'll Dewey a chain, uh, but like Quincy said, I'll be involved with, uh, purpose soccer going forward. So I'll be seeing a lot of you guys a lot more often. So thanks again, Quincy for having me on the day. Appreciate talking to you as always. And we'll talk soon. Thanks again, bro.

Quincy Amarikwa (57:58):

Yo, that is, uh, that's massive. Uh, love, always love wrapping with Chris. A shout out to everybody who stopped by and joined in and, and shared their thoughts. Um, Popa said the live today though, uh, cry face emoji, uh, soccer dad for life that had a good have a good night. Have a good night. Thanks. Thanks for stopping by Joe Jackson, uh, had said was a great life. Thank you both have a great week. Of course. Thanks for stopping by as always, uh, Umar, uh, dropped diamond, your head emojis, Pope bus at another great episode down, uh I'm in your head emojis, Joe Jackson would be Jesus' hands. And, uh, Ryan Rodriguez said I'm a fan here in Brazil. So as always we're international, this works in all markets all over the world. This is the, the global mentality update and you guys are along for the ride. I appreciate everybody for joining in tuning in big shout out again to Chris. Um, and as he said, he'll be, you'll be seeing him here more as time goes on. And as always everybody I'm in your head, see you next week.

[bodhvild]

Tagged by the amazing @ttrtru ! Thank you!

Rules!

Answers the questions, then make 11 questions of your own, then tag 11 people to answer those!

1.) How was the last week for you?

Heavy, but I´ve felt satisfied of myself every day.

2.) What was the last thing that made you really happy?

To kiss my love *.*

3.) What was the longest time you’ve spent in one fandom?

I´m a Tolkien addicted since the age of 15/16 so...making a fast count it´s over 15 years.

4.) Where would you want to go for a holiday if you had the money and time?

Iceland (and Japan)

5.) Can you whistle?

I´m super skilled at it!

6.) What was your favourite subject at school?

History and literature.

7.) Who’s your second favourite character in Tolkien?

Sauron

8.) What was the rough word count of the longest fanfic you ever read?  and how long did it take to read it?

I´m not a great fanfic reader...anyway, I think it was about 10000 words and it was a kind of 8 chapters; for the love of the story I´ve read it one chapter/day to make it lasts longer.

9.) What device do you use to check out Tumblr?

Cellular phone.

10.) Do you sleep on your side or your back or another way?

On my left side.

11.) Favourite emoji?

black heart

ok, um 11 tags…

@inahe, @morgause1, @afoxamongthetrees, @cataclysmofstars, @echoesoftheforest, @bluestaratsunrise, @hikingofthenoldor, @barad-doom, @moonwich, @ten-summoners-fails, @elf-in-a-mask

and the questions....you´re going to hate me haha

1.) Which is your fave pizza?

2.) One thing you absolutely cannot live without.

3.) What part of a movie that scarred you giving you nightmares when you was a kid?

4.) What’s the best type of cheese?

5.) Toilet paper, over or under?

6.)  What food represents your country mostly?

7.) What is the most useful thing your mom or dad has taught you?

8.) What is the most boring imaginable activity?

9.) What is your special to cook?

10.) Say one thing thatis okay to do occasionally but definitely not okay to do every day!

11.) What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?