#and a handful of non-het pairings

[worlds-only-dbgt-enjoyer]

Dragon Ball Fic Recs

as many of us think (at least in my fandom buddies circle), dragon ball fic is plagued with The Bad*. however ao3 is one of the few things that renders correctly on my flip phone and im a creative writing major, a huge snob, and sort by new, so I got favorites. This will be an expanding masterlist.

This is personal preference. I read heavily for writing style, and have very few squicks. Please read tags. Essentially all of these authors have other fics in the fandom that are worth reading, but in interest of this being vaguely readable, Im keeping it largely to one per writer.

The Obvious Choices

Most of these came from other fic rec lists, but if I got a tip about it, and liked it anyway, here it is

Contamination-cosmicmewtwo

tags: Post-Majin Buu Saga, Horror Elements, Science Fiction. Kakavege

Summary: While training in the far reaches of space, Goku and Vegeta discover something alien beyond their understanding.

Homeworld Lost-astral_mariner

tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Raditz/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Frieza/Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Other pairings, Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Raditz (Dragon Ball) Nappa (Dragon Ball) Frieza (Dragon Ball) Bulma Briefs Other Character Tags to Be Added, Horror, Science Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Canon Compliant, Pre-Canon, Canon Universe, Torture, Genocide, Medical Experimentation ,Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unreliable Narrator, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Sadism, Masochism, Abusive Relationships, Slavery, POV Raditz, Grief/Mourning, Whump, Angst, Heavy Angst, Tragedy, Exploitation, Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Existential Angst, Sad Ending, Mindfuck, Aftermath of Torture, Rape Aftermath, Blood and Gore, Major Character Injury, Dark, POV First Person, Sexual Violence, Manipulation, Gender Issues, Saiyan Culture, Vegeta Being an Asshole (Dragon Ball), Vegeta is Bad at Feelings (Dragon Ball), Frieza Being an Asshole (Dragon Ball), Illustrations, Nightmare Fuel

Summary:

Via Raditz’s broken scouter, Bulma tries to recover access to Planet Trade networks and technologies to get an upper hand against the androids. But in so doing, she discovers Raditz’s private files—writings and recordings he kept for himself over his long travels with Vegeta and Nappa under Freeza. Tales of their exploits and descent into madness come to change her perception of Vegeta and her relationship with him. Homeworld Lost is a novel-length dark science-fantasy story with explicit violence, horror, and erotica (sometimes simultaneously). Generally canon compliant. Explores Vegeta’s backstory under the Planet Trade Organization and his fraught relationships with his comrades, particularly the twisted bond he and Raditz share. Most of the story is narrated by Raditz, but there are lots of twists. He is an unreliable narrator, and in places, altered mental states allow him to take other points of view. We also get interludes from Bulma as she reads and reacts to Raditz's account.

(be so for real, you're reading this too)

in sua viscera conversum-ovest

Tags: Post-Majin Buu Saga, Smart Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Introspection, Character Study, aftermath of death, Past Character Death, Spit As Lube, Vegito As A Non-Presence, Existentialism, Fusion. Kakavege

Summary: The Earth keeps on spinning. Maybe it's always been a love story.

Full Moon-Vakaara

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Vegeta (Dragon Ball) kakavege week 2018, kakavege week, anxiety attack, Mentions of Death, distraught Goku, Background GoChi, Background VegeBul, Open Relationships, het relationships (background), Anal Sex, Oral Sex, slight liberties taken with how alien physiology works, Hurt/Comfort

Goku’s tail is back, but he’s not sure he’s happy about it - especially now that he knows what he could become at the full moon.

Deeper Cuts

may have double-digit hits, may be largely popular, but not recced to me. they do bang though

between friends-yamchacho (origami_monsters)

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Tenshinhan/Yamcha (Dragon Ball) Bulma Briefs/Yamcha, Launch/Tenshinhan (Dragon Ball), Tenshinhan (Dragon Ball), Yamcha (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs, Launch (Dragon Ball),Slice of Life, Drabble ,Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, shy tenshinhan, idc that man is emotionally repressed, Canon Compliant, mostly i havent watched it in a long time so idk, Ambiguous/Open Ending, not much actually happens here, talking about feelings

Summary: Bulma and Yamcha think Tien and Launch are a cute couple. Tien and Launch don't.

these days (these nights) are changing-Resacon1990

Tags:No Archive Warnings ApplySon Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Son Gohan Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball) Krillin (Dragon Ball) Piccolo (Dragon Ball) Bulma Briefs Master Roshi (Dragon Ball) Android 18 (Dragon Ball) Android 17 (Dragon Ball) Tien Chiaotzu (Dragon Ball) Yamcha (Dragon Ball) Son Goten Trunks Briefs Z FightersPOV Outsider 5+1 Things Fluff and Angst Fluff Angst Brief mentions of past Chi-Chi/Goku and Bulma/Vegeta Vegeta is Bad at Feelings (Dragon Ball) Awesome Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Goku is actually mature in this one guys Hurt/Comfort Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Goku just smiles broadly back at him though, shrugging a shoulder in that effortlessly careless way only he’s ever been able to manage. “Wherever you want. The world is our limit.” Vegeta doesn’t budge an inch. “And what if I want to go somewhere else?” Goku’s smile softens. A lump lodges in Chi Chi’s throat as Goku steps closer, bracketing Vegeta against the tree, leaning down slightly into his space. That look is still there but it’s different, somehow it’s different. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Goku murmurs. Or, five times a Z Fighter sees Goku love Vegeta... and the one time a Z Fighter sees Vegeta love Goku back.

Rather Fight Than Just Fake It-theeternalghost (iaintafraidofnoghostbear) (archive locked)

tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Vegeta/Yamcha (Dragon Ball) Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Yamcha (Dragon Ball) Hate Sex, Choking, Breathplay, Dirty Talk, Name-Calling, Degradation, Barebacking, Rough Sex, Scratching

Summary:

"You're such a fucking - ah!" Yamcha cries out. He tries to pull away, but Vegeta has an iron grip on his hips, the pressure sure to bruise. "I'm a what now?" Vegeta mocks."I can't hear you, Yamcha."

Standing at the Edge, Alone - Cizzi

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Piccolo/Son Gohan, Videl Satan & Son Gohan, Chi-Chi & Son Gohan & Son Goku, Bulma Briefs & Son Gohan, Dende & Son Gohan, Son Gohan Piccolo (Dragon Ball), Videl Satan, Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Son Goten, Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs,Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Krillin (Dragon Ball) ,Android 18 (Dragon Ball), Z Warriors (Dragon Ball), Katas (Dragon Ball), Dende (Dragon Ball), Son Gohan-centric, Pining, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Alien Biology, Namekian Biology, Introspection, Queerplatonic Relationships, Chronic Illness, Self-Discovery, Past Lives, Depression, Slow Burn, Magic, Piccolo is Bad at Feelings (Dragon Ball), Medical Trauma, Namekian Culture, Telepathic Bond, Seizures, Misunderstandings, Good Parent Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Protective Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball)

Summary:

Gohan was twenty when his headaches and the visions started. They showed him nauseating depictions of an unhappy future where he tried his hardest to be what everyone around him seemed to want - and flashes of an unknown past that threatens to creep up on him with its uncertainty. So he decides to change his life, but things aren't that easy; it's hard being so lonely. Pinpointing his real feelings, his real desires. Years have passed and his friends all have lives of their own, but he doesn't feel like he's made any progress, longing for an older, stronger connection to someone he thinks doesn't feel the same way. And his friends, well, they have no idea he's in pain, and think he still wants a happy ending with a 'normal' family and white picket fence. That's what Piccolo thinks he wants, too. Being pushed away by his oldest friend is the one thing Gohan thinks may be more painful than his illness. By the time Piccolo realizes how he feels, will their bond be irreparably damaged? Everyone thinks they know what Son Gohan wants- but does he even know, himself?

With Eris on His Shoulder-EnbyNeti (Archive Locked)

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death,Cell & Son Gohan (no matter how unwilling), Chi-Chi & Son Goten & Son Gohan, Videl Satan & Son Gohan, Dende & Son Gohan, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Son Gohan, Cell (Dragon Ball), Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball), Son Goten, Other Character Tags to Be Added, Hearing Voices, But are they voices, Post-Cell Games Saga, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Son Gohan-centric, Son Gohan Needs a Hug (Dragon Ball), Dead Son Goku (Dragon Ball, Crack Treated Seriously, Angst, It wasn't the original intention but I can never escape it, Kid Son Gohan, Teenage Son Gohan, Chi-Chi Needs a Hug (Dragon Ball), Dead Cell (Dragon Ball), And yet Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans son gohan

Summary:

The Cell Games, as well as the new global holiday now dubbed Victorious Satan Day, have come and gone, and it's now a month later, with the first signs of autumn starting to show in the forests of Mount Paozu. Gohan smiles as he watches the sunset through the window of the kitchen. Life… Life is good these days, here on Earth. It was worth it. His left arm twinges. And there’s a low hum in his ear. “Still set on ignoring me, are you, brat ?”

The Favorite Subjects

These particularly scratched my brain with ideas, setups, characterizations, or kinks

every time i look at you, it's like the first time-fairyfication

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball) Attempt at Humor, Porn With Plot, profoundly unsexy porn, son goku loves his wife, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Pregnancy, Love Confessions

Summary:

"Chichi, I think I'm sick." Chichi turns around, already brainstorming a chicken soup recipe to nurse him back to health. "What's wrong?" "When you look at me, my chest feels all warm, and I get sweaty hands, and my heart starts to beat fast... do you think I'm allergic to you?" "That's no allergy," she smiles, wedding band shiny in the midday light. - Goku and Chichi never seem to do things in the right order.

Provocative-cuddlesome

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Raditz/Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Vegeta & Nappa & Raditz (Dragon Ball)Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Raditz (Dragon Ball) Nappa (Dragon Ball)Canon-Typical Violence Mentions of Xenocide Pre-Dragon Ball Z Team Dynamics Blow Jobs Size Difference Intercrural Sex Thighs Muscles Hair-pulling Slut Shaming Premature Ejaculation Unhealthy Relationships Verbal Humiliation Top Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Bottom Raditz (Dragon Ball) Virgin Vegeta (Dragon Ball) listen Raditz has thicc thighs he can be thicc elsewhere as a treat chunky monkey

Summary: Raditz is a vexing, mouthy weakling, which makes Vegeta's attraction to his body all the more irritating.

Shock to the System-sans_patronymic

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Bulma Briefs/Vegeta Bulma Briefs Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Trunks Briefs Krillin (Dragon Ball)Emotional Hurt/Comfort Angst with a Happy Ending Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Past Torture Fluff and Angst Someone buy Bulma Briefs a beer Established Relationship i swear there's fluff Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: When bit of summer fun goes terribly wrong, Bulma is left to pick up the pieces, Trunks struggles to understand and Vegeta confronts old wounds.

migraine-Onyxim

Tags: No Archive Warnings ApplySon Goku & Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Bulma Briefs/Vegeta Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Bulma BriefsHurt/Comfort Fluff and Humor Headaches & Migraines Can be read as Goku/Vegeta They outright flirt with each other and it's just universally accepted Goku Makes Dumb Decisions™

Summary:

The heart virus sucked. There was no doubt about that. But he'd go through a thousand heart viruses if it meant he didn't have to deal with this all the time. - aka, Goku has chronic migraines due to his head injury. That's not going to keep him from sparring, though, because he's Goku.

Bleeding Me-Orphan Account

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Kissing, First Time, Canon Disabled Character, Brain Damage, Traumatic Brain Injury, Blood and Injury, Depression, Protective vegeta, sad Goku, Gift Fic

Summary:

Goku wasn’t himself, at all. He never had ‘off’ days to begin with, but Vegeta saw the changes. But he wasn’t going to ask what was wrong. Never. Then one simple accident changed Vegeta’s stance.

The Child-AveChameleon

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Frieza (Dragon Ball) Kuriza (Dragon Ball)Adoption Emotional Baggage Terminal Illnesses Internal Conflict Parent-Child Relationship Light Angst POV First Person

Summary: A dying enemy has one last request for Vegeta.

Point of No Return-niteryde

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Major Character DeathFuture Trunks Briefs & VegetaFuture Trunks Briefs Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Nappa (Dragon Ball) Raditz (Dragon Ball) Frieza (Dragon Ball) Bulma Briefs Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Krillin (Dragon Ball) Son GohanAlternate Universe - Canon Divergence Action/Adventure Dark Gritty Canon-Typical Violence Time Travel Violence Alternate Universe

Summary:

Trunks was going back in time to warn the others about the androids, but instead ended up in a time when Vegeta was Frieza's most ruthless soldier... can he keep his power and identity a secret when he sees the brutality of his father's past? [Original run on FFN: 2010-2011]

Honorable Mentions

K18 NSFW Art-TinyGryphon

Tags: No Archive Warnings ApplyAndroid 18/Krillin (Dragon Ball)Krillin (Dragon Ball) Android 18 (Dragon Ball)NSFW Art Sexual Content Digital Art Vaginal Sex Hand Jobs Double Penetration Foursome - F/M/M/M the foursome is just Krillin using multiform don't worry it's 18 and three Krillins Oral Sex Doggy Style Praise Kink Impregnation Outdoor Sex Beach Sex Height Differences Insecurity Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A dumping place for any of my K18 art that other sites won't allow but AO3 will because AO3 is a real one

art, not a fic, but cmon. yall know it

Broken-YaminoBossBitch Broken link, deleted :(

Tags: No Archive Warnings ApplyBulma Briefs/Vegeta Son Goku & Vegeta (Dragon Ball)Vegeta (Dragon Ball) Son Goku (Dragon Ball) Bulma BriefsAngst Sad Sad Ending Ableism internalized ableism ableist slurs Self-Loathing disabling illness graphic descriptions of pain Vomiting Memory Loss death mention medical gaslighting Hospitals Medical Tests Denial suicidal ideations sex mention can be read as KakaVege if you squint Vegebul Chronic Illness Hurt with attempted comfort

Summary:

Vegeta develops mysterious symptoms, and they begin to disrupt every aspect of his life. It seems as though the more he tries to overcome them, the worse they get. An illness with no known cause, no treatment, no cure, and that cannot be overcome through sheer force of will. Will Vegeta find the answers he needs? How will he cope with this disruption of his life?

alright, I have to be honest, this one is a little rough. but just captured my mind in a way that it couldnt not be included.

*writing ooc/grammatical error'd/underplotted/any other form of "bad" fanfic is a vital part of fan experience and growth as a writer. Fanfic is donated time, and deserves appreciation at all stages. this is just a list of fics I personally enjoyed

[rei-ismyname]

I don't know if it's known that X-23 had been planned as a lesbian character before her appearance in the comics. She started in the 2000s series and the idea was that she preferred women. And while she still has chemistry with other women now that she's the Laura Kinney of the comics, I still think it's a shame that so much of her first version was discarded.

Hey there!

I hadn't heard this before your ask so I did some digging to see if I could find some primary sources for this. Marvel loves queerbaiting and as best I can remember her only confirmed relationships are with men - which doesn't preclude her from being a lesbian ofc (or bi/pan/queer/not 💯 straight etc) - but that's what we've got. Putting her intersex coding aside (I'll touch on this another time but it's a different kettle of fish to her orientation) the source I found that's closest to your ask is a tweet from Craig Kyle.

There we go.

Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost created Laura for X-Men Evolution. Kyle 'would reveal' she's gay 'if the story was mine to tell.' I could only find second hand Reddit comments alleging Yost 'ships her with Hellion' - I flicked through maybe 30 Yost interviews but came up with nothing. It IS a shame that this didn't pan out, or hasn't yet. That might be naively optimistic considering The Mouse and Marvel's disappointing queer history. Granted, the show is not the comics but a character migrating from animation to comics is pretty rare here, whereas it's the opposite pretty much everywhere else.

I wrote a lengthy piece breaking down the Jubilee/Laura blood drinking scene a while back. It's truly one of the most sapphic things in existence to the point it's like come on! Having Jubes loudly declare 'no homo' afterwards was just obnoxious. We get it, you're cowards, no need to be crass.

Laura was REALLY focused on Kiden Nixon and only Kiden in the last issue of NYX. It feels like a wink, especially when she's saying it to Julian, one of her most popular ships. Okay, Kiden is the most important person to her - that can be platonic, but it's stretching credulity and genre conventions to breaking point. I feel like if it were a het pairing, they'd kiss or hug, or even non-physically but verbally express queerplatonic love.

I really shouldn't get going on Marvel heteronormative bullshit. I'll be going all day. Definitely a shame, but sadly not even a little bit surprising. Thanks for the ask!

[burnednotburied]

Chapter 7: Lost Haven

AO3 Link | Masterlist

Pairing: Abby Anderson x fem!reader

Fic Synopsis: Abby goes looking for Owen and ends up on the wrong end of your knife.

Tags/CWs: angst; slowburn; mutual pining; enemies to friends to lovers; talks of purity culture/ideals and “sin”; internalized homophobia and some comp-het feelings (they’re both so gay but so dumb about it); animosity between WLF and Seraphites; blood/gore; descriptions of being hanged; religious/cult-like ideas; character deaths (canon AND non-canon)

Note: The last chapter was short and (mostly) sweet. This one... not so much.

Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------

This was your fault.

You knew Lev was upset. You knew Yara was having trouble getting through to him. But instead of talking to him – making sure he understood exactly why none of you could go back to the island, handling the situation that was yours to handle – you’d been too busy worrying about your clothes and almost kissing Wolves.

As you raced after Yara through the dimly lit hallways of the aquarium, you silently berated yourself for getting so distracted. For losing sight of what was important. For failing to predict that Lev would do something reckless if you didn’t keep him in your sight. 

If anything happened to him, you would never forgive yourself. 

A strong gust of wind hit your face as you made it into open air, looking out on the makeshift dock where Owen’s boat floated idly. He was already out there, standing near Mel as the two of them looked out at the open water. 

Ominous dark clouds and another punishing current of air told you a storm was coming.

“Are we sure he’s heading to the island? Maybe he’s just blowing off steam,” Abby offered, attempting a comforting tone.

“No,” Yara said. The three of you joined the two others, and Yara pointed out in the same direction Owen and Mel had been looking. “That’s him. He’s definitely going to the island.”

You could just barely make out a small boat in the distance. 

“Shit,” Abby breathed out.

“What’s he doing?” Mel asked.

“He’s going after her.” Yara’s hand grasped onto the metal fence in front of her desperately.

“After who?”

“His mom,” Abby supplied.

“She’s going to kill him, Prophet! You know that,” Yara turned to you, looking devastated. Your fingers curled into tight fists, nails digging into your palms. It was true. You would have to go after him.

“Woah, wait. What? Prophet?” And then it occurred to you that that was something Owen and Mel were not aware of.

But that didn’t matter right now. 

“Your boat.” You turned to meet Owen’s wide eyes. “Does it work?”

There was a brief moment where he seemed to battle with whether or not to push about the Prophet thing, but he chose to let it go. He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“How much time do you need?” Abby asked.

“Uhhh,” he looked away, thinking. “A few hours. At least.”

“Fuck.” Abby turned to you. You were about to ask if there was somewhere else you could get a boat – and you had begun to wonder if you shouldn’t just run off by yourself and hope you came across one quickly by chance – but Abby was already thinking the same thing, already moving, already prepared to jump back into danger for you and your friends. “We’ll head him off. We’ll grab a boat from the marina–”

“Hey! She just had surgery.” Mel threw an arm out in front of Yara, who had begun to follow you, Abby, and Owen.

“I’m fine,” Yara insisted, pushing past the woman.

You paused, reaching blindly behind you to pull Abby back. 

“No, she’s right,” you said. You needed to stop and think about this before you went forward. There was no good way to go about this, but one option was definitely better than the rest. You found Abby’s eyes and realized that you had somehow gone from pulling her by her wrist to holding her hand.

You didn’t let go.

“I could use your help to find a boat, but then I need to do the rest by myself.”

Abby pulled away in shock, and her and Yara’s responses came immediately and simultaneously.

“Fuck that!”

“What? No! You can’t!”

You nodded, doubling down. This was the right thing to do. You were sure of it. “Going to the island would be deadly for anyone here except me.” Again they both tried to protest as you went on. “I know the island better than almost anyone else. On my own, there’s a good chance I could stay undetected. And even if they were to catch me, it would be fine. They don’t know that I deserted. And even if they suspected as much, I’m confident that I can convince them otherwise. Worst case scenario, they won’t kill me immediately like they would the rest of you.”

“You’re not going by yourself,” Abby said, and it was your turn to protest, but she cut you off. “Yara should stay here, but I’m going with you.”

“I’m coming too,” Owen stated matter-of-factly, just as Yara said, “I am going!”

Mel and Abby both jumped to argue with Owen. You left them to figure that out and pulled your friend to the side to talk privately.

“Yara,” you began, “stay here. Please. Help them get ready to leave for Santa Barabara. I promise I’ll bring Lev back.”

“I just–”

“Lev wouldn’t want you to get hurt. Especially not because of him.” 

Yara’s eyes went back out to the water, as if she could make him come back through sheer force of will. You wished the same. You didn’t want to go back to the island, and you really didn’t want Lev to be in danger. 

“I’ll get him. I won’t let anything happen to him.”

Yara was silent for a moment as the first rolls of thunder rumbled loudly.

“I’ll stay,” she said. “But you have to agree to take Abby with you.”

“You already trust her more than me, don’t you?” Your words took on a lightly teasing tone.

“Of course not.” She gave you a small smile as, you assumed, her eyes found Abby somewhere behind you. “But you need someone to watch your back. Lev wouldn’t want you to get hurt either. And neither do I.” She stepped forward and hugged you. It was a bit awkward on your end – with you having to be careful to avoid her healing wound – but it was the first time anyone had embraced you in years. In fact, you were pretty sure the last time had been when Yara hugged you on the morning of your scarring ceremony. 

You cleared your throat. Even if emotions hadn’t already been running high, you would’ve had to swallow down some tears in that moment.

“Yara?” you said, still holding her.

“Yes?”

“When we get back, I’m really going to need you and Lev to stop calling me Prophet.” 

She let out a little laugh at that as you parted. “Deal.”

When you looked back at the other three, you found them standing in the same place you’d left them, watching you and Yara, apparently having already come to an agreement themselves. By the look on Owen’s face, it hadn’t gone the way he wanted it to.

So it would be just the two of you then.

You looked to Abby.

“Ready?”

----------------------------------------------------------------

The process of getting a boat wasn’t nearly as straightforward as Abby thought it would be. And it had taken a lot longer than she would’ve liked.

At the marina, the two of you were greeted by the sound of gunshots. She asked you to stay there, hidden near the dock, while she grabbed a boat. 

If there were WLF soldiers nearby, being spotted with you would be a problem. Your lack of facial scars meant you weren’t recognizable as a Seraphite at a glance, but you were still a stranger. She didn’t know how to explain you being with her in a way that wouldn’t bring up too many questions. All in all, it would be easier and faster for her to go alone.

You surprisingly didn’t argue with her, willing to hang back for a bit if it meant getting to the island – getting to Lev – quicker.

Abby almost immediately ran into Manny and found that the gunshots were coming from one of the trespassers who’d come out of nowhere and been hitting WLF hard the last few days. 

She didn’t get the chance to ask Manny what he meant by that. 

The trespasser shot him in the head.

But she got close enough to see him. Close enough to fight with him hand-to-hand.

It was Tommy Miller, Joel’s brother – a realization that made her worry about what these trespassers were here for and what they meant to do.

But Abby was great at setting things aside for later for the sake of focusing on one problem at a time.

And right now, she needed to get you and get to Lev. 

By that point, you’d already caught up to her – because of course you hadn’t actually stayed very far behind at all – but you still needed a boat. 

Abby found a small motorboat tied to one of the docks that proved to be in working order. She got it going, sat behind the wheel, and headed out toward the island, quickly reaching the boat’s top speed, trying to make up for lost time.

You had been silent since you got on the boat, looking out at the water. She cleared her throat, speaking loudly over the combined roar of the motor, the wind, and the water. “So how do we get to that village in one piece?”

Your eyes remained focused ahead. “There are blind spots along the coast we can boat into. From there, we’ll follow back roads.”

“They’re safe?”

“It’s the safest option we have.”

You wore the same expression you’d had since you found out Lev had run off, eyebrows drawn together, a storm in your eyes just as strong as the one in the sky. You were worried, but it was more than that. 

Abby had to call your name twice before you turned to her, reluctant to meet her eyes. “This isn’t your fault, you know.”

You shook your head once and looked back out towards the island, pointing as you began to direct her to the best entrypoint.

The island was weirdly exactly what Abby expected, given what she knew about the Seraphites, and yet seeing it with her own eyes was still shocking.  

The Washington Liberation Front used existing buildings from the Old World. SoundView Stadium and the Lakehill Seattle Hospital. Schools and office buildings. They didn’t build so much as clean, repair, and repurpose.

The Seraphites had built a whole new world on the island. Wooden structures, villages, homes, farmlands. 

It was honestly impressive.

As promised, you had been leading the way through the woods, using backroads. You had yet to run into any other people, but Lev and Yara’s village was further inland, and it was only a matter of time before it became unavoidable.

Abby wondered if you were prepared to kill your own people. And if you would hold it against her when she did, to keep you safe and to get to Lev.

You had been quiet for a while, deftly navigating through a thick stretch of forest with her following close behind. If you didn’t want to talk, she wasn’t going to force the issue.

It had begun raining a while ago, although the worst of the storm hadn’t hit yet. The outfit Mel gave you hadn’t included a jacket, and you’d left your cloak behind with the dress.

Would you be offended if she offered you her jacket? Abby wasn’t sure, but you didn’t seem to be bothered by the rain or the cold. 

At a point of higher elevation, you came to a stop, looking out onto a huge settlement in the distance along the western coast.

“Woah. Is that the village?” she asked, using one hand to shield her eyes from the rain to get a better look.

“No,” you said. “That’s Haven, our capital. And that–” You stepped closer to Abby, placing a hand on her shoulder as you shifted your weight to the tips of your toes so your eyelines were level. She leaned into the touch, bringing your faces even closer, cheeks nearly brushing. You pointed to a specific building just north of the large town. It was bigger than the rest and even from that distance, Abby could tell that it was nicer. More carefully and intentionally made and maintained.  “–That is Sanctuary. It was the first Prophet’s home and a sacred place of worship. And it’s where I lived after my scarring ceremony.”

You let several moments pass before your hand fell and you dropped back down to your heels, taking a step to the side.

Sometimes it seemed that you touched her without realizing, without meaning to. And then there’d be a moment when you’d become aware of your actions and pull away. 

She wished you wouldn’t. But now wasn’t the time for that conversation.

“The village is further east.” You turned to go, continuing back into the forest. Abby stood there for a second longer, looking out at the place you’d spent much of your life, being literally worshiped and yet entirely controlled, and she wondered how strange it must feel for you to come back now. 

“Don’t linger,” you said, turning back to find that she hadn’t moved. “They have scouts. They might see you.”

She glanced back one more time before following.

“Are you sure the Wolves are attacking tonight?” you asked, breaking several minutes of silence, both of you having been lost in thought.

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, that’s what my friend told me. They’ll use this storm as a cover for the attack. Unless Isaac changes his mind.”

“Will he change his mind?”

Abby’s gaze was locked onto the ground in front of her. “...I doubt it.”

You stopped abruptly, a gasp leaving your throat. Her eyes shot up, hand flying to her gun at her side.

“Fuck,” she breathed. 

Two WLF soldiers were dead, disemboweled in typical Seraphite fashion, one hanging from an old road sign and the other discarded on the ground like trash. They had clearly been dead for several days, but Abby pulled the gun from the holster on her right thigh anyway. Just in case.

“Did you know them?” you asked, turning to her.

“I’ve seen them around.” Abby brushed it off and kept walking, taking the lead.

“I’m sorry,” you said, running to catch up, voice sincere despite the fact that you hadn’t been the one to do it.

It’s not your fault, she wanted to say.

“It is what it is,” she said instead. And then, because she was curious, “Have you ever–?”

“No,” you said quickly and definitively. “You were supposed to be my first.” Abby felt her cheeks warm. You hadn’t meant it that way at all of course, but that’s where her mind went. She let out a weird, strangled, kind-of-coughing noise that only aided in deepening her blush. 

You went on, unaware, “It was supposed to be a big deal. They were calling it my first kill.” You sounded put off by the whole thing, like very nearly killing Abby had been so beneath you. “That’s why they were letting me off the island for the first time. Things… obviously didn’t go as the Elders planned.”

“Well I feel… weirdly honored,” she said, an attempt at lightening the mood.

“Honored that you were chosen to be my first kill? Or honored that I didn’t actually kill you?” you asked, brows slightly raised but playing along.

“Both I guess.” She shrugged as you sped up a bit so you could walk side-by-side instead of one after the other.

“Yeah well.” You bumped her gently with your shoulder. “I’m glad I didn’t kill you.”

Abby scoffed. “You were never actually going to do it.”

“Yes I was!”

She scoffed again. “Sure. If you say so, princess.”

“I absolutely was going to kill you,” you said, feigning offense. “Abby, if Lev and Yara hadn’t shown up exactly when they did, you would be so dead right now.”

She laughed lightly, shaking her head. To anyone else, this might’ve been a weird thing to joke about, but between the two of you it worked.

“You really don’t think I could’ve done it.” Your eyes were wide in realization, and now you looked like maybe you were truly offended.

“All I’m saying is,” Abby said, smiling to herself, “there seemed to be a whole lot of hesitation on your end of things.”

“Well I’m not saying that I wanted to do it,” you insisted, watching her as you walked. “I’m just saying that I could’ve.”

“Uh huh. Whatever you say.” She knew she was goading you, but it was the first time she’d seen you get anywhere close to a smile since you left the aquarium. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled harshly, whipping your head back around to face forward. 

That made Abby really laugh. She’d never heard you say anything like that before.

You were biting your tongue, trying to suppress a smile of your own.

A loud, low groaning alarm sounded out over the island, and your face instantly fell.

“What is that?”

“It’s our warning signal,” you said, pulling Lev’s bow over your shoulder and grabbing an arrow. “Your people are here. The whole island will be on alert now.”

“God damn it, Isaac,” Abby muttered to herself.

“We’ll cut through the logging camp. This way,” you took a left, leaving the path you’d been on. “We no longer have the luxury of taking the long way to stay hidden. We need to hurry.”

Abby nodded, even though you weren’t looking at her. “How many people live here?”

“Around a thousand.”

“How many soldiers?”

“More than half are trained in combat.”

“What are the other half going to do when my people get here?”

“Some will hide. Most will fight,” you said, leading the way into the nearest village.

It was empty. No one around, ready to attack.

“Where is everyone?”

“The children will have been taken to shelters as soon as the signal went off. Everyone else is probably moving towards the coast to face the Wolves.” 

The second small village you passed through was still being evacuated. As expected, when they caught sight of Abby, they attacked. In the chaos, no one seemed to get a close enough look at you to recognize who you were.

Abby fought. And killed.

You fired more than a few arrows.

And then you moved on to the next village, making a near-straight shot to where you knew Lev would be.

Abby paused just within the treeline.

In the trunk of a tree, someone had painstakingly sculpted a life-sized, hyper-realistic statue of you. Just above your head, the words “May Her light guide us” were carved. 

You stopped next to Abby, regarding the figure in your likeness for a moment.

“‘When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light,’” she said quietly. 

“What’s that?”

“Just… something my dad used to say.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, glancing down to where the trunk met the earth.

“Those are new,” you said, referring to the mass of flowers that were carefully placed around the tree.

It reminded Abby of the flowers people put near the graves and memorials of their dead loved ones. 

“It’s like they’re mourning you,” she said.

“They think I’m dead?” you asked, knowing she couldn’t have an answer. 

Abby pulled her eyes away from the intricate carving to look at the real, living, breathing version of you beside her. “Where are we going?”

Without looking away from the flowers, you said, “See that tall tower?”

“The Space Needle?”

“The what?”

“The – never mind. Yeah. I see it.”

“Head towards it.”

You knelt down, letting the fingers of your left hand graze over some of the flowers. When they landed on a daisy, you picked it up, stood, and carefully pushed it into your pocket.

She waited patiently before following you onward.

You had to get through a few more villages – and the few Scars who had been left behind to defend them – before you got to the right one.

At least Abby thought it must be the right one. Because you had come to a full stop and were staring at one specific house.

“Is that it?” she asked, putting a hand on your shoulder to bring you back down to earth.

“No,” you whispered absentmindedly. “It’s this one.” You walked towards the house across from the one you’d been staring at, bow drawn, arrow nocked.

Abby moved ahead of you and slid the door open. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

A lit fire pit in the center of the large, open room illuminated the space in an orange glow. You stepped inside, letting your weapon fall when you saw the lifeless body in front of the fire.

It was Lev and Yara’s mother.

Blood ran from a wound in her skull, pooling on the floor beneath her.

You let out a shaky breath.

And whipped around when you heard your name uttered from an even shakier voice coming from the corner of the room.

“Lev!” He was sitting, knees up, arms wrapped around them, curled in on himself, eyes locked on his mom. “Oh thank god,” you breathed out, rushing over. You were on your knees in front of him before you saw the damage that had been done. Cuts all across his face and arms. Your heart sank even deeper. “Did she do this to you?”

Lev let out a few hiccupping breaths, still staring past you at the body. “I just tried talking to her. I tried to make her understand, but she… she just kept yelling. She started chasing me. I tried to make her stop. I was just pushing her off of me…” His volume grew, voice becoming more desperate as he tried to explain.

“Hey hey hey,” you whispered, trying to soothe, wanting to fix.

“–Then she hit the table,” he sobbed.

“Listen to me.” Your hand was on his elbow, thumb gently circling. “You were defending yourself. You did nothing wrong.” When he finally met your eyes, you wrapped your arms around him and held him as he cried, grasping onto you so tightly it took your breath away. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

You stayed there for several minutes, holding him against you, rubbing his back as he kept his face buried where your shoulder met your neck. You held him until his sobbing subsided and his breathing slowed. You remembered how Yara used to hug you when you were kids, never being the first to let go, and you hugged her little brother – your little brother – in just the same way.

You pressed a kiss to the side of his head and squeezed a little tighter.

“I wanna leave,” he said, voice muffled against you.

“Yeah, me too.” When he lifted his head, you stood, offering him a hand up. He took it and kept holding on, even once he was standing too. “Come on,” you said, motioning to the door.

Abby was there – she had been there the whole time – and her eyes looked soft and sad when they met yours.

“Hey, kid,” she said to Lev, offering him one of her handguns. You squeezed his hand one last time before letting it go so he could grab it, glad that Abby had the forethought to make sure he was armed.

He wiped his face with his shirt sleeve before taking the weapon from her. “I’m sorry. I never should’ve–”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m just glad we found you. Let’s go.”

He nodded as she turned to push the door back open. The three of you stepped back out into the rain.

“What’s happening? Wolves?” Lev asked.

“Yeah,” you said, taking the lead. “All over the island.” Your eyes caught again on the house across the way, making you pause. 

Lev stopped next to you, immediately understanding. “She’s not there.”

“I figured.”

“Do you want to go in?” he asked.

“We don’t have time,” you said, but you couldn’t turn away.

“We’re never coming back here, right?”

“God, I hope not.”

“Then let’s make time,” he said, making the decision for you as he walked over and opened the door. You followed behind him, and Abby followed behind you, not asking any questions.

The inside of your mother’s house was much the same as Lev’s and Yara’s. One large, open room on the first floor. Fire pit in the center. A ladder leading up to a loft.

It looked nearly the same as you remembered it, though you hadn’t stepped foot in there in eight years. There was the stool in front of the mirror where you’d tried not to cry while your mom fixed your hair over and over again until she deemed it ‘as close to perfect as imperfect people can be’ on your last morning here. There was the table where you did your lessons and learned to read the scripture, and where you’d sit and have meals as a family, back before your dad died. The little wooden animals your dad used to carve in his rare, precious spare time. The bed where your mother slept.

Everything was the same. Except for the far wall. 

Where there was once a painting of the first Prophet, your own face now stared back at you. And next to the painting, in neat lettering:

“The world is not in balance,

But I have done my part to right it.

You have led me through the storm.

May the current be calm.

May you guide me home.”

“What’s that?” Abby asked, speaking for the first time since you entered the house.

“The Prophet’s prayer,” you said quietly, turning away from the wall entirely. 

“She prays to it,” Lev said matter-of-factly. “The painting,” he clarified. 

“I could’ve gone without knowing that, Lev,” you said, sounding cross despite your efforts not to.

“Your mom?” Abby asked. “This is her house, right?”

“Yep,” Lev answered for you.

You felt sick to your stomach.

“It’s like the Elders decided you were the new Prophet and then everyone lost their minds,” he went on as you made your way over to the ladder and climbed up to the loft. “Your mom stopped calling you her daughter. Suddenly your face was everywhere, but we weren’t allowed to go see you or talk to you. We weren’t even supposed to talk about you, you know, before. Someone overheard Yara using your real name, and they… The punishment was severe.”

You listened as you stood alone in the loft, looking around at what used to be your bedroom. This, your mother had left completely untouched. It seemed like no one had even been up here in the eight years you’d been gone. “I’m listening,” you reassured Lev as you began searching for something. The one thing you wanted to take with you before you left forever. 

“After that, it was hard to even think of you as the same person we knew. The girl who used to braid little flowers into crowns for us. Who came up with the best games and told the wildest stories and broke the rules but only in ways that didn’t really matter and only when you knew you wouldn’t get caught… The girl who carried me back home, all the way across the island, when I fell and broke my foot, singing the whole way because you knew it would make me feel better.” He paused for a second before continuing, “You were the first person who I told I didn’t like my name – I didn’t like the way it made me feel – so, without asking me a single question, without asking me to explain myself or justify anything, you just… never called me that name again.” Lev’s voice broke just a little, and you wiped away a few of your own tears as you continued looking. You knew this was everything he’d needed to get off his chest, probably since long before you were reunited a few days ago, and you didn’t want to interrupt. “You were our sister and then one day they took you away from us. And no one but me and Yara seemed upset about it. Our mom was weird. Your mom was even weirder. Everyone acted like you were a god. The God. Not even a person. And like everything else, everything before, didn’t matter. Like it wasn’t real. They made us believe it.”

You finally found what you’d been looking for, and you could sense that Lev had run out of things to say, at least for the time being, so you shoved it in your pocket with the daisy, climbed back down the ladder, walked over to him, and hugged him tightly again.

“They’re good at that,” you said quietly. “At making us forget… But it’s okay. We’re together now. Let’s get out of here.” He sniffled and nodded as you pulled away. “I’m surprised you remember all of that. You were so young.”

He said your name, eyebrows drawing together like he shouldn’t have to say this, “You were my favorite person. Of course I remember.”

“Really?” you asked, smiling. “Not Yara?”

“Don’t feel bad for her,” he said, heading to the door. “You were her favorite too.”

Abby brushed past you as she followed Lev out, letting her hand brush against yours as she went. You met her eyes and smiled apologetically, grateful to her for being here. For helping with this.

You took up the back of the line, taking one final look around before shutting that door behind you forever. 

Outside, the rain had picked up and daylight was slipping away. By the sounds of it, the fighting had grown closer on all sides, although it hadn’t yet reached the village you were in.

“This way,” you said, taking the lead again.

“Shouldn’t we head back for our boat?” Abby asked when you didn’t start going back the way you’d come.

“No, I hear fighting back there.” 

“I hear fighting everywhere,” Abby argued.

Lev stopped next to you. “There are lots of boats in Haven.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” you said. “We’re closer to Haven now than to where we came from anyway. We can cut through Old Town. Avoid the main roads.”

Abby looked unsure, but relented to the two who knew the island. “Alright, princess. Lead the way.”

Your group managed to avoid conflict for a while, from both the Wolves and the Seraphites, staying hidden in the trees and avoiding areas where the fighting was the loudest.

You moved in near silence, keeping the talking to a minimum.

Old Town referred to an area of old buildings, left completely unused by the anti-Old World Seraphites. The thing that had surprised you the most about the mainland was that it looked like Old Town, only much much bigger. The Wolves hadn’t carved out their own place in the world in the same way the Seraphites did. 

You wondered if the rest of the world was like that. Just people making the best of what already was instead of building something new.

The three of you moved carefully and quickly through the streets of Old Town, cutting through alleyways and relying mostly on side streets. 

“We’re leaving so many people behind,” Lev said as you passed by a few dead Seraphites on the road.

“We can’t help them,” you said. That’s what you had to tell yourself.

“I know.”

“Stay close to me,” you whispered.

“Okay.”

“We need to get off the street,” Abby said, leading you into one of the nearby buildings as the sound of gunshots grew closer.

You lost count of how many buildings you passed through, each of them equally derelict and damp. It took longer, traveling that way, but it meant you were much less likely to be seen.

“This way,” Lev said, pulling himself up and out of a large window that appeared to lead out to a side road. His feet hit the street before either you or Abby had even made it to the window. She was the first to follow after him. 

From inside, you couldn’t see what was happening, but you heard a struggle. Someone yelled, “I got one!” And then there was a gunshot.

Your heart lurched.

Abby yelled – no, screamed – Lev’s name.

You pulled yourself up as fast as you could.

But you were too late.

Lev was already on the ground.

He was already gone.

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“Abby?” The WLF soldier gasped as she knocked him out with his own gun.

The one he’d used to kill Lev.

By the time she had taken the man out, you were out the window and on your knees next to Lev. Silent. Staring. Your hands frozen, shaking, hovering just above his body like you wanted to touch him but didn’t know if you should.

Your whole body shook with a sob.

“Gunshots! Over here!” More Wolves were just down the street. You were seconds away from being within their sights.

Abby rushed to you, grabbing your arm. “Hey, we need to move.” She wished more than anything that this wasn’t happening right now. She wanted to give you time, wanted to sit beside you and cry too, but that wasn’t an option right now.

“No!” You pushed her away. Abby didn’t have a choice. If you didn’t move now, you’d be dead too. She hooked her arms under yours and lifted you, trying to carry you away. “No!” you cried out, grabbing for Lev, fighting against her. “I can’t leave him here!”

“We have to!” she insisted, not letting you go.

The Wolves were closing in. “I see someone!”

There was no point. You wouldn’t be able to get away in time. Abby put you down and pushed you behind her, raising her gun. “Stay back!” she shouted as the soldiers came into view.

“Drop it! Now!” one of them demanded while two others said, “Holy shit!” and “It’s Abby!”

“I said stay back!” She held firm, ready to fire at any one of them at a moment's notice.

“Stand down,” came another voice. One Abby recognized.

The man stepped out of the treeline and into view. 

“Isaac,” she said.

When he came upon Lev’s body on the ground, he regarded it for a moment before shaking his head and slowly stepping over it.

Abby held her gun to the side, not putting it away but showing that she wasn’t aiming at him. She was, like he’d instructed, standing down.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

She slowly bent down, fingers raised away from the trigger, as she dropped her gun on the ground a few feet in front of her. “I need you to hear me out.”

Isaac took a beat before he responded. “What’s that behind you?”

Abby held a hand up and kept her voice calm, like she was trying to reason with a wild animal instead of a man and a handful of his soldiers. She took a couple steps back, bumping into you, making sure you were close without ever looking away from him. “She saved my life, Isaac.”

“Move out of the way. We’ll deal with you back home.”

He wasn’t listening.

“She’s not one of them. Please,” Abby said, desperation in her voice. 

“Abby, move.” He was firm and expected to be obeyed, just as he always did.

But she couldn’t obey this time. She knew what would happen to you if she did. “No. She’s–”

“–The Prophet,” he finished. And then his gaze slid from hers to yours. “Yeah. I recognize you. They’ve got your face plastered all over this island.”

You said nothing, and Abby wanted his attention back on her, away from you. She tried again. “Isaac–”

He cut her off again, this time with a sudden laugh. “I tried to warn you, Abby. Didn’t I?” And then he turned dramatically, to the surrounding Wolves, gesticulating theatrically in her direction. “BEHOLD the power of the Great Scar Prophet!” His eyes landed back on her. “Able to pull my best soldier right out from under me. Make her turn her back on everything she believes in. And everyone she cares about.”

“That’s not– She’s not–” Abby didn’t know how to make him understand. “She’s not part of this.”

“That is correct. She’s not a part of this,” Isaac seethed. “She. Is. This.”

“What–”

“Every time they attack us – every time they slaughter one of our people – it is done in her name. Every new martyr of theirs dies with her face at the forefront of their mind. Every life lost here today is because of her, along with every life that has been lost in the last decade of this war. All of this death and destruction – all of the blood — is on her hands.”

“Isaac, you can’t seriously think–”

And then, for the first time, Isaac pointed his gun directly at Abby, leveling it at her face. “You have three seconds to get away from that Scar,” he said. “One.”

“You’re really gonna shoot me?” Abby reached a hand out behind her, finding you, making sure you were still behind her, still shielded.

“Two.”

“I’m not fucking moving.”

Isaac paused. And Abby thought, for just a second, that he might’ve changed his mind. That he might back down.

And then there was a gunshot. 

She flinched, but it wasn’t her who had been shot.

It was Isaac. Shot by–

“Lev!” you shouted, surging forward.

“No!” “What the fuck?” “Shoot him!” The soldiers all turned their guns on Lev and fired.

You screamed.

Abby grabbed your hand and booked it to the nearest building, taking advantage of the chaos. You were too shocked to fight her this time, so you allowed yourself to be pulled away.

“Shit!” “Stop them!” “Don’t let them get away!”

Abby slammed the door closed behind you and pushed a filing cabinet in front of it, grabbing your hand and dragging you further into the building, through another door. Once that one was secure, she reached for you again. If she had to drag you all the way back to the aquarium, she would.

But this time, you ripped your hand away. That’s when you seemed to notice the blood on your hands. 

Lev’s blood.

“We need to move.” She wanted you to have time, for you to be able to fully react and process this, but it needed to be later. When you were safe.

You didn’t hear her. Or didn’t care. “He’s gone. Oh my god. He’s gone.”

She said your name, forcefully, trying to draw your eyes to her. “Come on.” She reached for you again, but you yanked your whole body in the opposite direction.

“Those were your fucking people!” you lashed out, much angrier than she’d ever seen you, and for good reason.

“Hey! You’re my people!” she said, matching your volume and intensity. Abby didn’t know where that came from, but she knew that it was true. She took a breath, stepped closer, and tried to touch you again, this time putting her hands on your shoulders. You let her, looking up at her with wide eyes. “Listen to me. We’re gonna have to fight to get out of this, okay? And then I need you to show us to those boats.” You nodded, and she moved her hands from your shoulders to either side of your face, holding your gaze. “We won’t let anybody stop us, yeah?”

“Okay,” you said, barely a whisper.

“Okay.” She stepped back, letting her hands fall to her sides. “Follow me.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Haven was burning.

You were on a boat, floating off to safety, while your whole island went up in flames.

Lev was there. Your mother was there. Everything and everyone you knew was there.

But you were here.

In a rowboat.

And you weren’t even helping to row it.

You hadn’t even thought to offer. 

The phantom heat of the now distant fires that consumed Haven seemed to lick at the back of your skull as you finally pulled your eyes away, turning to face Abby.

She was rowing slowly, now that you weren’t in imminent danger, her strong arms engaged, face focused. She had to be tired. She’d done so much.

You were only alive because of her.

“I can row,” you said, voice weaker than you meant for it to be. 

Abby slowed a bit more, looking you over. “You’re shaking.”

You hadn’t noticed. You clenched your fists tightly, trying to stop the tremors. But it wasn’t just your hands that were shaking. It was your whole body. 

Were you cold? 

For how long?

You steeled yourself. “I can help.” 

She stopped rowing entirely and started to shift. You prepared yourself to switch seats with her, but she wasn’t actually moving. She was only taking off her jacket.

You felt like you should protest, that you should insist you were fine and that she should keep her jacket, but you didn’t have it in you. 

When she went to drape it over your shoulders, you let her. 

The jacket was soaked, just like everything else in Seattle, but it helped.

You put your arms in the sleeves properly and pulled it tighter around yourself, staring at the floor of the boat. 

What you wanted was for your mind to go blank. Thinking about anything was dangerous. You didn’t want to spiral, not right now. You couldn’t create more problems for Abby to deal with. You needed to just get back to the aquarium, get dry, and then–

Yara.

You had to tell Yara what happened. 

How could you tell Yara about this? You promised her you’d bring Lev back safe.

Lev.

Images came rushing back to you. You tried to blink them away, but they were stubborn. They lingered.

You swallowed back tears and let your head fall into your hands, trying desperately to focus on your breathing and nothing else. Nothing else. Nothing. Else.

Abby brought the boat right up to a small dock right next to the aquarium. She got out first and tied it off with deft fingers. Then she offered you a hand and pulled you out, stabilizing you as you found balance on embarrassingly shaky legs.

“Got it?” she asked, a hand pressed to your mid-back.

“Yeah.”

She stepped away. “Let’s get out of the rain.”

Someone had barricaded the aquarium door from the inside.

That was the first indication that something was wrong.

The second came soon after, when you found the dog – Alice – dead. 

You and Abby were both on high alert, moving through the dark hallways with your weapons drawn.

Then there was the blood. So much of it that there was a pool of it gathering on the other side of the door. Whatever happened – whatever went so terribly wrong here in the time that you were gone today – was through that doorway.

You forgot to breathe.

Abby pressed on. 

You really didn’t want to, but you followed.

Into the room with whales on the ceiling and Mel, Owen, and Yara lifeless and bleeding on the floor.

You went numb in a way that had nothing at all to do with the cold. You felt the switch flipping inside of you, the failsafe going into effect. You detached. Walls went up in your mind. 

This was good. It meant that maybe, just maybe, you’d make it through this day. 

You were somewhat aware of Abby, to your left, as she let out a terrible sound. You thought she was saying “oh,” but no. That didn’t make sense. She was saying “no.” Over and over again as she crumpled to her knees near Owen.

Your eyes locked onto something on the floor by your feet. To get it, you had to step through a pool of blood that had certainly come from one of the three bodies.

But it was just blood, you told yourself. And these were just bodies. Nothing to be done. Nothing to worry about.

Numbly, you bent to pick up what you now realized was a map of Seattle. Someone had written on it, covering it in notes and shapes and names.

After studying it for a minute, your eyes went to Abby. She was on her hands and knees, heaving after having been sick.

You’d give her a moment more if you thought it would help, but you knew it wouldn’t.

This. This map. That would help.

“Abby…” You approached her slowly, letting her make an attempt at pulling herself together. When you were close enough, you held out the map.

She took it, and then she stood slowly, examining it.

When she turned to you, you could tell. She knew the same thing you did.

Someone had been tracking Abby – hunting her – for a while.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“The trespassers,” she said.

They killed Manny. 

They killed Owen and Mel.

And, according to the map, they’d gotten to Nora, Jordan, Leah, and Nick too.

All in pursuit of Abby. 

Because of something she had done.

But they fucked up.

They left the map.

And now she knew exactly where to find them.

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Note: As always, thank you for reading! I'm not the best at responding to comments, but I want you to know that I love and cherish them more than words can say! So if you're leaving them, thank you <3

I'm really excited about the turn the story takes in the next chapter, and I think it'll be really enjoyable to read for anyone who's rooting for Abby and the Prophet! (which is, I assume, everyone who reads this fic lol)

Taglist: @4-atsu @h0meb0dyi @lmaoo-spiderman @quinnsadilla @rew1nds @sapphicontherun @stickynachomaker

[two-white-butterflies]

timeless | c16

Description: Your relationship is exposed in the weirdest way.

Pairing: charles leclerc/verstappen!reader

y/n.verstappen: christian called me, i'm his favorite child.

89 comments 37,138 likes

maxverstappen1: liar 🤣 - y/n.verstappen: real story actually

danielricciardo: she forgot to take her meds again 😴 - y/n.verstappen: @christianhorner u seeing this? - destinyyaya778: what's he gonna do? take daniel's seat 😭 oh...wait 😁

comments

foolishone88: y/n is the only non-model here but she's eating them all up 😭

carlandosupporter: Lottie basically confirmed Charles x Y/N.

"Why didn't you go inside the Ferrari paddock?" Charles frowned, settling the bowl of yogurt beside you. "I didn't have the passes for that bebe," you answered - gently massaging his forearm. He felt a little disappointed because you visited Mercedes and Redbull. "I'll get you passes for Ferrari tomorrow." he promised with a smile.

He adds a bit of cereal on the yogurt before handing it to you. "Do you ever think about telling the world about us?" he inquired, watching as you browsed mindlessly through social media. He knew that you had lots of dreams - plans for the future. But he also knows that you imagined future with him.

"We have to tell my brother first." you breathed.

Max wasn't a horrible creature - but because of your father's dismissive behavior. He's forced himself in Jos' shoes. He wouldn't be angry finding out about you and Charles - but he wouldn't be delighted either. "Do you have any plans?" he frowned and you closed your phone, placing it in on your thigh. "Yes, but I'm shy." you say.

A small chuckle escapes his mouth.

"We'll tell your brother tomorrow."

y/n.verstappen: little morning crazzy ✨

1298 comments 128k likes

bixietrixie: SOMEONE TELL HER THAT WE CAN SEE CHARLES IN THE BG 😭

sprincklesprinkle: THE GUY ON THE CHAIR BEHIND THEM. and don't call me crazy because charles owns that bag and I can see his shadow.

charlesleclerc: oh no 😂 - y/n.verstappen: that's no you, right? - - charlesleclerc: nope, not me.

UGLY SUPER MAX waar ben je? (where are you)

MOST BEAUTIFUL SISTER vakantiehuis (holiday house)

UGLY SUPER MAX lando showed me the tiktok 🤣 are you dating charles?

MOST BEAUTIFUL SISTER lando has tiktok? we gingen het je vertellen (we were gonna tell you) eventually...

UGLY SUPER MAX all good here vic saw it too

MOST BEAUTIFUL SISTER goodbye!? she doesn't know 😭

UGLY SUPER MAX just be here tomorrow Ik ontken de geruchten niet (i'm not denying the rumors)

MOST BEAUTIFUL SISTER girl??

seen by ugly super max.

"We don't need to tell him. It could've been worse." you giggled, walking around the paddock with his arms wrapped around you. "I expected worse." he hummed, seeing all the pairs of eyes on the both of you. It was your first time in the Ferrari garage.

"The better phrase would be: the worse is still to come." you teased, sitting beside Carlos who was quietly eating his noodles. "Audi next year?" you turned to look at him, earning a nervous chuckle from both of the men. "Don't get me into trouble, Y/N." Carlos joked.

The both of you walked inside an antique store.

"Let's look for some cute things to decorate our house." you pulled him inside, the smell of dust immediately entering your lungs. "Aw, this one is nice." he picked up a picture of someone's wedding. The picture said 1944 - and you couldn't help but imagine the both of you. The man was wearing a fancy suit - the girl, nothing but a summer dress. They looked fun.

"She looks like you," Charles pointed at her face and you couldn't help but agree. "Maybe, they are us - from another life." you leaned your head on his shoulder. He laughs gently. "That's a nice thing to believe," he pressed a finger to his lips.

"We'll buy it."

Charles_Leclerc: found this little thing outside the resto.

tagged: y/n.verstappen

912 comments 356,984 likes

y/n.verstappen: someone owns him...sadly

danielricciardo: Y/N looks good in white! - y/n.verstappen: UNPROVOKED?? - - Charles_Leclerc: 8pm right outside KFC - - - danielricciardo: 🤣

maxverstappen1: my sister looks a little weird with fur... - bebescenario29: how is this his first long instagram comment ?

y/n.verstappen: serving the leclerc fanbase (might delete if too much ppl thirst on him 🤬)

192 comments 33,293 likes

maxverstappen1: my eyes 😑

leclercfansign: OMG OMG OMG DADDY

[buddiesbuddiess]

(different anon here than the one talking about the hint thing)

but i think to me what aggrivates me about the whole “the show is written for the GA” thing is that plenty of people in the GA see it too- they’re just not vocal about it like the fans are… i genuinely feel like- aside from a few homophobes like w bi buck- the GA would go “oh cool they did it” and just keep watching, but because it’s a queer ship, the network has to act as though the GA have never seen a queer relationship on screen, and are now treating it like baby steps, having to hold the audience’s hand and spoonfeed them things that people who have been watching the show since day one (and even people who only recently watched the show for the first time) have already picked up on time and time again

like if this was a het ship, 1) they’d already be together, and 2) if they weren’t, the network wouldn’t be going “oh we just decided to lean into this, we have to act like the GA can’t pick up on these signs”

like my mom is barely GA, she’s seen maybe 10 episodes total, and even she (a mildly homophobic southern american woman) asked me “are they gonna be a couple?” after watching a scene from season three

i think the network severely underestimates the intelligence of the GA and their ability to pick up on things like fans do, because genuinely in ep 11 there were only a handful of people who were surprised by the notion of buddie as a couple- most GA reactions to it were the same as the fandoms being like “oh wow they actually brought it up”

i guess it’s just hollywood’s obsession with treating queerness like it’s some new age innovation that has never existed before despite the fact that we live in a world where shows like QaF in the early 2000s did more in terms of trusting in a high percentage of a non-queer general audience to keep up with things than a late-2010s-mid2020s procedural drama that has had queer characters since the pilot episode

I 100% agree with you and you are right that if it was a heterosexual ship the GA would have picked up on the romantic undertones seasons ago. Unfortunately it’s not, and the reality is that before this season a lot of the GA didn’t see the pairing as romantic. That doesn’t mean there aren’t GA members who do see it, but the writers are also going to HAVE to take into consideration that a portion of the general audience have never considered it.

If the writers intend on making buddie canon, the fact is that they have to do the work getting the general audience to the point that they do see the pairing as romantic.

What I do think is that, if they are intending on making buddie canon, this entire season has been doing exactly that work to get the general audience to that point. We have this season had Buck’s boyfriend break up with him because he was threatened by Buck and Eddie, and basically accusing Buck of being in love with him. On top of everything else this season that has further cemented Buck and Eddie being each other’s person. That’s why I think if we get an in-text realisation of feelings, a kiss or an almost kiss next episode, everything that’s led us to that point this season will be proved to have been intentional.

If that doesn’t happen, then we’ve either been thoroughly baited or they have for some reason changed their minds.

[potahun]

There's actually already been three other non-het non-canon matching cards revealed in the recent deck: Gin & Camel, Akai & Amuro, and Sera & Shuukichi!

ah, sorry, anon, when I say "pair cards" I mean not only similar illustrations, but that those character cards have: 1) matching/connected illustrations, depicting either a connected situation, same background, continued action, etc you have the sense they're part of one picture; 2) the card themselves reference each other in some way.

See, e.g., Heiji and Kazuha's pair cards (this is the parallel ver):

the illustrations are clearly connected, and if you look at their "abilities", heiji's card says (very roughly) "When the card [Toyama Kazuha] appears on your Crime Scene, you can choose a character with AP <8000 and remove it." Kazuha's card also says...a whole lot of things ;; but you can see it reference [Hattori Heiji] twice. First line is something like "when the card Hattori Heiji is on your Crime Scene, you can choose a card in the opponent's Crime Scene, whose ability will remain null until the end of the turn".

In the less rare format that is similar to Furukaza, is ShuuAke, also canon:

Here, as you see, Moroboshi Dai's card doesn't say anything about Akemi, only says you can remove an active character under level 8. But Akemi's says "Reveal cards in your deck one by one from the top, until the card [Akai Shuuichi], [Moroboshi Dai] or [Rye] appears, and add that to your hand. Put the remaining cards at the bottom of your deck and shuffle."

It sounds like a "get Akai" effect :D! Clearly matched.

This is basically the pattern for all of the pair cards of this pack, for all the canon pairs: ShinRan, TakaSatou, KaiAo, even Chihaya-Juugo. Common cards can also get a similar-ish treatment, like Kobayashi and Shiratori, where they reference each other, but the illustrations match to a lesser degree because it's all manga screencaps.

Shuukichi and Sera have neither matching illustrations, nor any reference to one another. Sera's card, for example, has an ability that is "Select up to one character under level 8, and remove them. This ability can be Declared if you have less than 5 cards in your FILE area."

Similar thing arises with Akai and Amuro, where the illustrations look a bit similar in style at first, but the cards are independent of each other. In fact, the Akai card refers to effects such as making up to 1 character from your hand and from the category [FBI], under level 6, appear on your Crime Scene. Amuro refers to making up to 1 character of the category [Café Poirot] under level 7 appear on your Crime Scene in specific circumstances. Neither of them restrict that to a specific character in the category, but they themselves don't belong in each other's mentioned categories.

For Camel and Gin, interesting, because the illustrations do seem to be part of the same scene in the FBI chase. But again, the cards are independent:

Camel (roughly): You may remove a card of the category [FBI] from your hand. If so, pull two cards.

Gin (roughly): When you remove a character from the opponent's Crime Scene through your own ability or effect, that character will keep the damage until the end of the turn.

And that's basically the pattern...But what happens with FuruKaza is more similar to Juugo and Chihaya, HeiZuha, ShuuAke, TakaSatou and co. The FuruKaza one looks like this:

The illustrations are clearly connected, whether it is the coffee can, the background, or the way the lighting shines on Furuya's left side vs Kazami's right side, meaning that Furuya is actually facing Kazami despite the framing.

Furuya's card indicates it has an investigation level/power (?) of 2, allowing him to look into cards from the opponent's deck, but "when the card [Kazami Yuuya] is on your Crime Scene, the investigation level/power is instead of 4. You can select up to one of the characters uncovered of the same level and remove them".

He gets a buff up from Kazami!

Meanwhile, Kazami has a "hirameki" effect which activates when removed from evidence, and it goes "within your Remove area, choose up to one [Furuya Rei] card, and add it to your hand." sounds like a "get Furuya" ability

Fun fact, that is the exact same hirameki effect that Juugo has, in reference to Chihaya.

Juugo: within your Remove area, choose up to one [Hagiwara Chihaya] card, and add it to your hand

So, yeah, not the same situation! And there are good reasons to go "huh?" at the FuruKaza one because it's really...a lone beanpole among the other canon pairs at the moment.... Makes one go "Official accounts, are you sure we can have this?"

But of course, nothing says this is the last time there will be partner cards in the TCG, so maybe more non-canon, non-het pairs will show up in the future. Personally, I'm still hoping for a GinVodka pair one day. (official twt account)

[herearedragons]

i think i fooled myself into believing i sent an ask before whoops can i get 5, 7, 17, 25, 31, 33, 39, 40, 43, 45, 50!!!

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

well honestly Selene is already what I would consider a popular oc because like. more than a handful of people know who she is and have said nice things about her and people have ??? drawn her ??? unprompted ??? which is WILD shoutout to the Selene fandom once again. so if I had an option to make one (1) oc popular on a larger scale it would probably be her because I already know she'd click with people (and also she's my favorite and I'd never get sick of talking about her/seeing other people talk about her).

but also as a secondary option, Aqun and/or Adina because I feel like they have some fun nuance to them and I'd be kind of curious to see different people's takes/opinions/interpretations of them

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

BDJDBSJSHSJSBSJDJDKS well?????? yes?????????

most of them are part of the story of their associated videogame, and then there's all the fic I'm writing. I do also have some non-fandom characters/settings rotating in my brain, but it's nothing concrete enough to talk about

17. Any OC OTPs?

no OCxOC ones, but a lot of OCxcanon ones tbh. if we narrow "OTP" down to One True Pairing as in "I can't envision them with anything else" then it's Selene and Edér (surprising no one) and Mae and the Devil of Caroc (which also shouldn't be surprising). if we interpret it as "favorite ship regardless of whether this PC has other ships", then I'm adding SolAqun to the list bc they've also been on the brain lately. the holy trinity of Doomed Yaoi, Undoomed Yuri and Impending Doom Het Ship

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

funnily enough probably Aqun. we look nothing alike but Aqun🤝me (multicultural, multilingual, single child, STEM, Logic and Rationality as a coping mechanism, inclined towards Making Things, burning hatred of Social Overcomplication)

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Adina would 1000% be on here and her blog would be red-themed with yellow/blue/green accents, have a custom HTML theme she edited herself with artwork BY her, and it would be just all of her interests in one big pile with a barely functioning tagging system. she posts her vitaar designs a lot and her pfp is Her Actual Face with her favorite vitaar design up to date. she uses all caps/keysmashes a lot and vibes perfectly with tumblr's more absurdist kind of humor. Funny Nonsense comes to her effortlessly

33. Your shyest OC?

LORENZO. he's trying so hard to figure out how to People and having the physique of a Death Omen + an evil voice in his head is not helping. also he was a slave for the first 24-ish years of his life and old habits of Be Quiet Be Helpful Don't Speak Unless Spoken To die hard

39. Introduce any character you want

making you look at: the guy from the previous question. he's a runaway slave. he's a Ghost Bard. he was briefly possessed by the god of death and killed everyone in his master's estate with a song. he can sing ghosts into existence. he's haunted by his evil past life. he doesn't speak Aedyran (Eoran English) that well yet. HE'S SHY.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

@curiouslavellan I have to shout you out again because brainstorming Selene and Helaine plotlines in real time in DMs has been one of this year's highlights for sure. the people don't even know about the soul merging in POE1 and the Selene Is Dead drama in POE2. they don't even know about the werewolf au (well. one other person knows about the werewolf au)

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

I'm going to be real, my OC creation process IS just like. *spins wheel* so what's the source of YOUR deep set feeling of alienation

45. A character you no longer use?

shoutout to this girl who is an old creepypasta OC of mine. I still care her

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

subjecting you to the mental image of Aqun and Eldritch Wolf Solas chilling together in some nice scenic place. they never got to do that but I think they should have

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week 2024, Day Three: Reverse Tropes – Convinced Not Actually Dating (Modern AU)

It's Day Three of Valicer Polyship Week 2024, as presented by @polyshipweek, and we're up to an interesting prompt: "Reverse Tropes!" Basically taking a trope and switching it around into its opposite -- the classic "Only One Bed" becomes "Too Many Beds," for example. Now, I wasn't originally going to do this prompt for this day -- I was more interested in "Queerplatonic Partners," as I felt I could write something interesting about Smiler and Alice's dynamic within the OT3 for that one --

And then I ended up writing "someone is a jerk to one of OT3 for some reason, and gets theirs by the end of the story" fics for Alice (Valicer In The Dark version) and Smiler (Soulmates AU version) for Days One and Two of this particular week, and decided that I needed to do a third story on that theme from Victor's POV to round out the trilogy. And when I looked at the linked examples of "reverse tropes" provided by Polyship Week in their write-up on the prompt, I came across this list which included the reverse-trope "Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating." Pair that with various tumblr posts I've seen decrying people being "gatekeepers" when it comes to queer identities, and I quickly came up with a story where poor Victor gets harassed at his first Pride by a jerk who's convinced he's a "cis het faker" and can't believe he's dating Alice and Smiler. :( Sorry Victor -- I had a theme to keep to! And fortunately, as per that theme, he gets his at the end... Enjoy!

--

“So – first Pride, I’m guessing?”

“What – oh, yes,” Victor said, smiling awkwardly but genuinely at his surprise conversation partner as they – they looked like a man, but Victor was not about to make that assumption at Pride – sidled up to him. “A-am I that obvious?”

“I can spot people like you a mile away,” the person replied, looking him up and down. “Ben – he/him, if you care.”

“Oh, thank you – Victor, he/him as well,” Victor introduced himself, offering a hand. “N-nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Ben said, giving him a rather perfunctory shake. Then again, Victor supposed a handshake was probably a bit formal for this setting… “What are you doing here?”

“Just t-taking in the sights – my partner insisted we come,” Victor explained, glancing around hoping to spot Smiler or Alice and wave them over. I know I told them I’d be fine on my own for a bit, but they’re both so much better at talking to people than I am… “I grew up in a rather, ah, r-repressed little village, so I never got to experience this before now. It’s been…” He paused, swallowing as someone walked by in a leather harness and not much else. “Enlightening.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Ben said, folding his arms. “Partner, huh?”

“Yes – I have two, actually, but Alice is as new to Pride as I am – oh, there they are!” Victor pointed at Smiler – resplendent in their non-binary stripes tee, favorite pair of worn black jeans, and bright yellow sneakers – and Alice – proudly decked out in a purple dress with white and black triangles along the skirt hem – standing by what looked like one of the merch tables. Smiler was holding something in their hand, showing something to an intrigued-looking Alice. “Those two, right there. They’re really into celebrating who you are.”

Ben looked over at them, then back at Victor with a raised eyebrow. “You came here with them?”

“Yes – my girlfriend and my themfriend,” Victor said, a warm glow suffusing his body as he watched Smiler gesture at the thing in their hand while Alice rocked thoughtfully on her heels. “They’re – they’re the best. I’m quite lucky to have them in my life.”

“...yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that.”

Victor blinked at the sudden harshness in Ben’s tone. “I – what?”

“I said, I’m calling bullshit on that,” Ben snapped, moving a little closer to Victor. “Fuck me – you really think you can just gesture at anyone in this place and say that they’re your partners? Especially those two?”

“I – uh – n-no?” Victor stammered, automatically reaching for a tie that wasn’t there. “I – t-those are my p-partners.”

“Sure. Sure.” Ben looked him up and down again, appraising him and finding him wanting. “Two people like that are gonna want to hang out with you.”

...Oh. Oh wow. Victor had thought he was used to comments like that, but – he hadn’t expected to hear any of them at Pride. Nor for them to sting like that. “T-t-they do,” he insisted, aware that his nervous stutter was not helping matters. “I – I a-admit, I’m not sure why m-myself, but–”

“Save it,” Ben snapped, inserting himself into Victor’s personal space – and suddenly Victor was hyper-aware that, though Ben was shorter than him, he was definitely more muscular. He backed away on instinct, eyes flicking around for the nearest tall object to climb. “I told you – I can spot some cis het faker a mile away. You asshole – you think you can come here, enjoy the party, and claim to be one of us, then go back to being ‘normal’ tomorrow? Huh?”

“N-no! No, of course not – I-I-I’m bi!” Victor babbled, flapping a hand at his blue, pink, and purple sunset sweater while holding the other up placatingly.

“Sure, yeah, you’re ‘bi,’” Ben growled, complete with scare quotes, and somehow that hurt even worse than being told he couldn’t possibly be dating Alice and Smiler. “Just long enough to get a few drinks, anyway. Then you’ll go home to your simpering little girlfriend and tell her all about us ‘queers’ and have a good laugh.” He poked Victor hard in the chest, making him stumble slightly. “Well, I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen. So how about you get your stuff and–”

“Excuse me.”

Ben turned around – and immediately doubled over as Alice’s fist introduced itself to his gut. “How about you get your stuff and clear out?” she snarled, in a tone of voice that Victor somehow knew she had used with Bumby. “Before I decide to show you just how good I am at knife tricks?”

“Alice,” Smiler said in warning – though judging by the expression on their face, they weren’t really all that concerned with stopping her. “No getting us kicked out.” Their eyes narrowed as they regarded the gasping Ben. “But yeah – I’d recommend you fucking skedaddle.”

It was a testament to how angry Smiler sounded that they could use the word “skedaddle” and yet Ben still left, holding his middle and shooting them all confused, slightly terrified looks. “Fucking gatekeepers,” Smiler grumbled, then wrapped a tight arm around Victor. “Hey – you okay?”

“I – I-I’ve been better,” Victor murmured, dropping his hands. “I d-didn’t expect...I t-thought...isn’t t-this whole thing about acceptance?”

“It’s supposed to be, but some idiots think they’ve got reverse gaydar and gotta ruin it for the ‘interlopers,’” Smiler said, rolling their eyes before giving him a squeeze. “Probably would have assumed I was a cis guy too…I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“And I’m sorry we didn’t show up earlier,” Alice said, coming around to give Victor a hug from the other side. “Smiler was rather invested in showing me some of the flag pins they had on display over there – we didn’t realize what was going on until the bastard started getting loud.”

“It’s fine – I’m sorry you had to do that at all,” Victor mumbled, putting his arms around both of them and pulling them against him. “I didn’t...I just…”

“It’s not your fault,” Smiler said firmly, patting his back. “You didn’t anything except exist.”

“Some people are just arseholes – believe me, I would know,” Alice agreed, before stretching up on tiptoe and tugging him to the side slightly so she could kiss his cheek. “But I imagine he won’t be bothering us again now that he knows how prone I am to violence.”

Victor laughed despite himself. “Hopefully...if you don’t get in trouble for slugging someone,” he added, grimacing.

“I think we’ve got plenty of eyewitnesses saying he pretty much started it,” Smiler assured him, looking around at the other attendees before shooting him a grin. “Would picking up a ‘Bi Pride’ pin make you feel better?”

“...I think it would, yes.”

[spntoxicfemslashevent]

full prompt list

hey everyone! this is the full february prompt list for this event. we're going to have six prompts every day, so it's big! smaller versions containing only some of the prompts are forthcoming. ideally a piece submitted for a certain day should be inspired by at least one of the prompts for that day.

[conceptual prompts only] [pairing prompts only] [format/style prompts only] [prompts by date] [submission guidelines] [intro post]

conceptual prompts:

feb 1: manipulation || rot || political play

feb 2: tied up || burning flesh || jealousy

feb 3: suburbia || betrayal/judas kiss || doll

feb 4: blackmail || cannibalism || age gap

feb 5: blasphemy || executioner || genderless

feb 6: “...and it felt like a kiss” || on the rack || handmaiden-feudal lord

feb 7: sainthood || blood || isolation

feb 8: poison/drugging || barefoot and pregnant || murder suicide

feb 9: scars || heaven and/or hell || voyeurism

feb 10: shallow grave/midnight gardening || exes || serial killer(s)

feb 11: crossdressing || corpse || brat

feb 12: war/opposite sides || soulmates || guts/gore

feb 13: demonization || immortality || "forgive me father"

feb 14: unrequited || butch || imprisonment

feb 15: high school sweethearts || justifications || resurrection

feb 16: stabbing || masturbation || somnophilia

feb 17: turn the straight girl || kidnapping || ritual sacrifice

feb 18: stalking || substance use/abuse || comp het

feb 19: amnesia/mindwipe/lobotomy || flogging || forcefem

feb 20: vessel || make each other worse || gothic

feb 21: mistress || forced marriage || petplay

feb 22: demon deal || power imbalance || state of mind/dreams/confusion

feb 23: experiment || bastard child || what happened to her first husband/wife?

feb 24: curses || possession || infidelity

feb 25: controlling || temptation || "i ran into a door"

feb 26: victim || right hand || true crime

feb 27: humiliation || dubious consent || brainwashing

feb 28: family || true form || obsession

feb 29: closeted || sins of the father || not passing the bechdel test

pairing prompts:

feb 1: rowena mcleod/billie

feb 2: linda tran/ofc

feb 3: hannah/naomi

feb 4: rowena mcleod/alicia banes

feb 5: raphael/billie

feb 6: amelia novak/naomi

feb 7: abaddon/colette mullen

feb 8: ruby/astaroth

feb 9: cassie robinson/fem!dean winchester

feb 10: linda tran/mary winchester

feb 11: cassie robinson/meg masters

feb 12: linda tran/abaddon

feb 13: risa (endverse)/meg masters

feb 14: kelly kline/dagon

feb 15: linda tran/tasha banes

feb 16: billie/amara/the empty (meg)

feb 17: meg masters/jo harvelle

feb 18: patience turner/claire novak

feb 19: mary winchester/antonia bevell

feb 20: lily sunder/claire novak

feb 21: bela talbot/ruby

feb 22: patience turner/magda peterson

feb 23: fem!castiel/fem!crowley

feb 24: missouri moseley/ellen harvelle

feb 25: jody mills/donna hanscum

feb 26: lily baker/lilith

feb 27: hannah/caroline johnson

feb 28: raphael/naomi

feb 29: eileen leahy/mary winchester

format/style prompts:

day 1: canon divergent || drabble (exactly 100 words)

day 2: canon character/oc || traditional art

day 3: scifi au || non-traditional art medium

day 4: post-canon || gifset

day 5: canon compliant || metered poetry

day 6: reverse!verse/roleswap || sketch

day 7: epistolary || flash fiction

day 8: episode rewrite || fanmix

day 9: gender changes - het to femslash || script format

day 10: canon a little to the left || headcanon

day 11: outsider pov || fancam

day 12: 5 + 1 || exquisite corpse/round robin

day 13: for want of a nail || sequel

day 14: dark fluff || webweave

day 15: vignettes/fragments || fansong

day 16: polyamory || abstract

day 17: unreliable narrator || screencap edit

day 18: meta plot/metafandom/carver edlund novels || non-song based fanvid

day 19: crossover/fusion || multimedia

day 20: trans headcanon || podfic

day 21: humor || amv

day 22: au || fiber arts

day 23: gender changes - slash to femslash || comic

day 24: pre-canon || digital art

day 25: omegaverse || sentence fics

day 26: mundane au || photography

day 27: selfcest || freeverse poetry

feb 28: character study || fanwork-of-a-fanwork

feb 29: rashomon style || fic rec list

[cacodaemonia]

B, Q, & Y for the shipping asks!

Hey thanks for the ask! :D

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Honestly, most of the ships I've ever shipped 😂 Het ships have traditionally been the only canon ships fans have to choose from, but there have only been a handful of het ships that interested me over the years—and even those were, at best, hinted at in canon. My bread and butter have always been slash (or otherwise queer) ships, and of course, they were basically never canon in media from more than like, ten years ago. I also don't generally consume canon with shipping goggles on, so usually, I get interested in a fandom, read some fics, come across one that focuses on a particular ship, and go "Ohhhhh 👀"

It's rare for a ship to really stick with me, but there are those unicorn ships that spear me through the heart and don't let go for years XD

Haha sorry that was such a non-answer but I can't really think of any examples that don't fit the question.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

I listed Supernatural in another ask reply, but one with a very easy answer is Hanna is Not a Boy's Name. The web comic ended pretty early in its run, and even though I ADORED the small fandom, we eventually ran out of material for headcanons and fics and art, so it slowly dissolved. It's still my favorite fandom experience though.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Oh geez, SO MANY. Uhhhhh. TBB, all the new SW shows, the sequel trilogy, the MCU, DC, LOTR/Silm (which I've been obsessed with since the 90s, but have never actually been in the fandom), HP (I'm very glad I was never in that fandom—I always feel bad for people who really loved it and now the whole thing is ruined for them), CoD, The Witcher, Top Gun, Brooklyn 99, etc. etc. etc.

Thanks again!!

If anyone wants to reblog the ask list, it's here.

[talkingbl]

GMMTV 2024 pt. 2 (Mostly) BL Prediction Thread

Predictions

JimmySea. And they DESERVE it. Listen, I was not a JimmySea truther until I saw them in Last Twilight. And while the series went downhill from me, and both Jimmy and Sea have some improvements they can make, it is clear is day they have talent and SPARK together. Their chemistry is different from any other pair I've seen. They give a very soft/comfortable vibe that's not really romantic but more like enduring and domestic. It's like two people who really trust each other come together in their pairing instead of a fleeting but passionate trounce. I really enjoyed them in the Last Twilight and I think the series did so well GMMTV won't hesitate to put them in something new.

PondPhuwin. They've been lying about going on hiatus for quite a while now and I'm no longer inclined to believe them. I haven't been too tapped in to them lately but it's clear by how much stuff they keep getting casted in and how overexposed they are that GMMTV sees something in them. I think they will either have another series as a couple or both star in the same series but not as a couple. But, at the very least, they'll continue to promote as a shipped couple with fanmeets/concerts/etc.

On that same note, one of them will definitely have a het series.

FirstKhao. Don't see a world where GMMTV's not looking at the success of SandRay and saying "yeah, run that shit back." They just have way too much fan support and forward momentum that it'd be weirder if GMMTV didn't have something for them.

Lead role for Tay in a non-BL. For every BL TayNew does, they do 20 non-BLs to offset it 😂. I think the success of Cherry Magic, even in spite of all the production woes, proves that there's still a demand for TayNew together, and Tay and New individually. And while I would not be shocked to see a TayNew BL, I feel like GMMTV has set a precedent of giving Tay and New a lot of variety in between their BL roles.

Het series for Joong/Dunk. At this point their overexposure seems like it'll continue, for better or for worse. But I do see a world where Joong gets a het series. I can see it slightly for Dunk too just from a novelty standpoint, but at the same time no competent showrunner is going to cast Dunk with no promise of the JoongDunk-stan gravy train. He just doesn't have the chops for that IMO.

KristSingto. Obvious to everyone in the room lmao. If they don't get a series I'll be genuinely shocked. The way the pillars are moving these days it's like the girlies saw what TayNew did and said "Lord (P'THa), what you did for them, I want that for me!" That said, I can just as easily see them in separate BL series...

GL featuring Jan or Ciize. I don't know how well 23.5 is doing altogether (can only go based on the YT views), but it doesn't really matter IMO. I think GMMTV will do one or two GLs a year just to keep their portfolio diverse until GLs take off like BLs did. And for that, I see them casting either Jan or Ciize (or both?) since they are the most exposed female actors in GMMTV's queer media.

Lead role for Mark Jiruntanin in a BL (though I don't think Junior will be his partner?). This is more of a dark horse preduction. I'm not going to pretend like his story was one of my favorite parts of Cherry Magic, but the way GMMTV has moved with him, I can totally see them re-pairing him with someone younger/newer and seeing how that goes. Purely from a visual standpoint, I almost want to see him with Sky Wongravee but that feels like a pipe dream...

MarkOhm. surely I don't need to explain this one lmao.

Gem to take a break from acting to focus on music, otherwise his first non-BL role. Weirdly, Gem and Fourth seem to be at a point where they can pretty much dictate what roles they will and won't take. I have a feeling Gem is going to try his hand at being a full-time singer since that seems to more so be his dream anyway.

Soft launch of SeaKing as a GemFourth replacement. The mere fact the Only Boo! exists tells me all that I need to know. Sadly, the trailer for Only Boo! left me (and others) completely disengaged. Like I do not care to watch that show AT ALL. It's a poor concept with acting that seemed severely unpolished. It COULD pull an MSP and actually be good, but I just don't see that being the case (especially since the main reason why MSP was so good was because of P'Au and its unique cast...).

WinnySatang*. Asterisk here because I'm not sure GMMTV sees it for them to have a lead couple role just yet. I wouldn't be shocked if they get the recent Marc Pahun and [REDACTED] treatment until they can prove their acting skills in We Are (in fact, I suspect GMMTV has been doing this with many of their couples since the flop of My Gear Your Gown). They're not a super popular ship so, like FirstKhao, they'll need to break out on talent alone (can't believe this is a real sentence I just wrote...like what is wrong with this industry).

EarthMix. Now THIS is a bold prediction lmao. I heard Earth and Mix were in their divorce era? Not sure if that's true but these two honestly deserve so much better. Mix has been hard carrying GMMTV's BL talent (along with Gun and Fourth) and I would hate to see him not have more of these stories to his name. The hype for Moonlight Chicken was through the roof, but, unfortunately, Aof did what Aof does best and ruined the viewing experience like halfway through. I know they have that Ossan's Love remake allegedly happening within the next 2 years, but GMMTV is known for fucking up distribution of Japanese remakes, so I just don't think that's the best use of these two.

Only Friends 2: Electric Boogaloo. This was actually teased in the finale of Only Friends. But if they do this, I pray they don't bring back TopMew and minimize SandRay to focus on Nick and the new characters. Still, the status of this show could be up in the air given all the bs going on behind the scenes while the show was airing and months after...

We pray for:

An actually good series that's good from Episode 1 all the way to Episode 12/14. This would likely require some highly specific combination of story selection (something original with strong themes and consistently interesting plot), spectacular directing (P'Au or P'Nuchy only ATP), BUDGET (GMMTV, give this what you'd give Bright/Win in a het role), and acting (always love Gun but he stays casted, so would love to see some more for Fourth, Inn, First, some of the other newer folks, etc.). This is asking a lot because, honestly, no BLs have delivered this since...Linger?...but if GMMTV is smart, they'll see what some of the fan favorites did and recreate that.

On that same note, a period piece. I'm not sure how it'll work on a GMMTV budget, but I need Ayutthaya-era Thailand, with a deep and complex story.

Perth getting another screen partner. I THOUGHT PerthChimon was going to be very interesting since Perth is a good actor and Chimon is not too shabby as well. I neglected to consider that Chimon would so abhor kissing anyone that Kanghan looked like he was trying to violate a corpse in any of their kissing scenes. I demand that Perth gets re-paired with someone who actually wants to star in a romance.

(Not because of anything having to do with Gemini), I just want to see Fourth try another pairing, particularly with someone whose acting is out of this world. Unfortunately, I just cannot think of someone from the new crop who is not Gem who will be able to match Fourth's talent. Like, we haven't seen Chokun or Java actually act yet so it can't be either of them. As for Mark J., I don't think his acting is at Fourth's level. And I don't think Fourth would match First's energy well... It's just difficult to see who would complement Fourth in a role when so few people are at his level.

[neonscandal]

Can I ask, why do you love MLM romance better than Het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (Danmei, BL manga/manhwa/manhua/tv series) romances different than western MLM romances?

Out the gate with the fujoshi allegations!

Hahaha I joke. I feel like, from my blog, it's very reasonable to make that assumption. I think I watch and recommend mostly het-romance but, there are a number of reasons why MLM ships cause some serious brainrot and frequently appear on my page (this is a SatoSugu, BakuDeku and AshEiji specific call out).

I won't say that the ships are better but as to why they're more pervasive?

From a shonen standpoint, the protagonist and deuteragonist tend to be the the most developed and nuanced characters with more chemistry due to the complexity of their relationship typically driving the plot forward.

Additionally, the development of the relationship will generally have more texture than the flat afterthought of the MC with the FMC they are canonically paired with.

Typically, because these characters are both men, while you'll see some toxic stereotypes (specific to actual BL and yaoi which are usually ick inducing), both characters will generally have the same amount of agency which isn't always given to prop female characters. Remember, kids, the fridge trope is harmful for everyone.

Because these ships aren't always intended, there's that delulu element of "will they, won't they?" like Ross and Rachel from Friends. The DRAMA. Also, they are generally more tragic and, what lingers more: happiness or pain? It's pain. Pain by a long shot. And the fodder to rectify that pain is endless (thank you, fix-it fic authors). There are of course, also ways to twist the knife, too (thank you, sadists).

Subsequently, the resonance of these ships stems from the much stronger emotions you have when things are gut-wrenching. But, also, I am actively reading the ongoing series' of JJK and MHA so of course that part of my brain gets poked more frequently than series' that have long since been completed.

Let's not forget that there's a disproportionate number of shonen and seinen series' that ultimately get full anime adaptations. Off the top of my head, the Ouran High School Host Club fandom is still waiting for a second season. ⌚️👀 HoriMiya and Sasaki to Miyano were heavily abbreviated before getting second seasons, a refreshing shock to the system.

Specifically, of the three main ships that litter my blog (see above), I happen to viscerally relate to one or both of the characters in question. Again, we can chalk that up to the depth of character and my own flaws.

Stylistically, there's a big difference between Western and East Asian media across other genres too. For instance, after only being exposed to the dramatic musical scores in Western horror, there is something truly unsettling with the absence of build up or sound in East Asian horror right before something big catches you unawares.

When it comes to romance (if we're focusing on MLM, it still applies), I think the big difference is the intimacy. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some series that have a similar level of physical engagement as a Western romance. But, with a lot of stories, you'll go a whole series holding your breath for a hand hold or a hug and it's delectable. The absence of the physical creates so much more depth in those telltale looks characters exchange or the moments of silence when they're alone in each others' presence (awkwardly as hell, might I add).

By comparison, in Western media, you're going through the whole gamut without as much nuance for the layers of non-physical intimacy. Or it's something that gets developed post hookup which is realistic to an extent. But, considering real life hook up culture these days, I think it makes the before stand out as a lot more endearing so maybe that informs the preference.

All that to say, this isn't an endorsement of modesty politics, at all. Life is a healthy mix of both and I'm all about comprehensive experiences. People will gravitate toward whatever speaks to them at whatever point they are in their life. Do you have a preference and, if so, what do you think informs it? Respectfully, I appreciate your curiosity in reaching out.

[aikainkauna]

FIC: The Glut of His Evil (Gan Shoucheng/Tan Qi, NC-17)

Title: The Glut of His Evil Author: Snowgrouse Fandom: The Longest Day in Chang'an (2019) Pairing: Non-consensual Gan Shoucheng/Tan Qi, implicit Tan Qi/Zhang Xiaojing Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex and violence Genre: AU/Canon Divergence, PWP, Darkfic, Dark Het Warnings: Non-consensual sex, some canon-typical violence Length: ~11 000 words

Summary: General Gan forces Tan Qi to dance in front of his men, then makes Zhang Xiaojing watch as he rapes her. She only yields to save her beloved; Gan may do whatever he wants with her body, but he'll never have her soul. She closes her eyes and thinks she's pleasuring Zhang Xiaojing... and that backfires on her, as she finds herself aroused in Gan's embrace. Who's she burning for, now, her darling or her rapist?

Notes: AU diverging from the Right Cavalries courtyard scene: Gan makes Tan Qi do a different kind of dance. And yes, I know I am going to hell on a sançai horse. Thank you. But Gan Shoucheng is in the saddle behind me, so.

"You're in luck; I will let him watch." When she gasps and stiffens, Gan places a fingertip on her lips. "Remember, if you don't play nice, we have no choice but to burn his eyes. Surely you don't want that, now do you?" he asks and taps her lips. "You'll want him to see how beautiful you are in the throes of passion," he leers, his every word sticky-sweet as he circles her, "when you're flushed from caresses," he slides his finger down her neck, "when you're taken by a man who knows how." He devours her with his eyes, his breath hot and wet and sweet from wine. "And I will let him see that. Oh, I will let him see everything." She is silent as she trembles there, taut in her hatred, her horror, her shame; disgust twists in her guts and she wants to be sick. Gan tuts, putting on a mock-pitying voice as he admires the swell of her breasts, the quivering of her stomach. "You've been saving yourself up for him, haven't you?" he croons and moves to stand behind her, both of them now so close to Zhang that Tan Qi can feel Zhang's breath on her breasts. Gan begins to caress her flanks, inhaling perfume from her hair, sliding his warm, greedy hands all over her body, claiming her with his touch. When he slips his hand between her legs to cup her mound, she squeezes her eyes shut in shame. Oh, but she wants to scream in rage, but refuses: this despicable bastard does not deserve to get a single noise out of her. "Oh, but you're all bare," Gan chuckles, his breathing heavier and heavier as he drags his fingers up her shaven sex. "You've made yourself so smooth, so pretty... thought you'd get lucky, I suppose? That he'd reward you for rescuing him, hmm? That he'd give you a nice little lick and a suck?" he laughs, the words snapping wet in his mouth. "How precious," he murmurs and nuzzles her ear, now squeezing the lips of her pussy together between his fingers. "So very romantic," he purrs and presses his body against hers, crushing her against himself, the scales of his armour cold against her back: like some disgusting, lecherous dragon slithering against her, ready to eat her alive. "Now, he gets to see everything you were going to give him," he says, sliding his hands to the dips of her thighs, framing her pussy, mock-offering it to Zhang. "Only I get to have it first."

(Ao3)

[burnednotburied]

Chapter 8: Stitches

AO3 Link  |  Masterlist

Pairing: Abby Anderson x fem!reader

Fic Synopsis: Abby goes looking for Owen and ends up on the wrong end of your knife.

Tags/CWs: sexual themes/content; angst; slowburn; mutual pining; enemies to friends to lovers; hurt/comfort; tending to injuries; talks of purity culture/ideals and “sin”; internalized homophobia and some comp-het feelings (they’re both so gay but so dumb about it); blood and injury; religious/cult-like ideas; character deaths (canon AND non-canon)

Note: I’m excited for this chapter!!

If you’ve read my first fic “You’re My People,” you might recognize parts of the second half of this chapter. I was going to rewrite the scene entirely, but then I reread YMP for the first time since I wrote it and thought “wait, i actually like this.” So I edited it to be a more accurate depiction of the current vibe/dynamic between our Prophet and our beloved Wolf, switched up the povs, and fixed any plot changes. And it has an entirely different ending!

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When Abby had asked you to stay behind, to wait for her back at the aquarium, you just shook your head, picked up your bow, and motioned for her to lead the way. 

Something was off with you. You had been silent for the entire trek from the aquarium to the theater, not asking a single question. 

You didn’t ask who had done that to Owen, Mel, and Yara. You didn’t ask what Abby was planning on doing once you got there. You didn’t ask why this was happening, why someone was tracking her down, how your own friend could’ve gotten caught in the crosshairs and ended up dead.

Which was good, because Abby wasn’t prepared to answer any of those questions right now. 

But you hadn’t even reacted to seeing Yara dead. Abby doesn’t think you even looked at her body, and you treated the huge pools of blood on the floor like they were puddles of rainwater on the street after a storm. Inconvenient but inconsequential.

She knew what this was. She’d seen it before in her friends and fellow soldiers. Hell, she’d done it herself plenty of times. When the hurt gets too big, you shut it down entirely just to make it through. It’s fine in the middle of combat – helpful, even. It becomes a problem when you can’t pull yourself out of it, when you close yourself off indefinitely.

If you didn’t snap out of it on your own once all of this was over, Abby would do it for you.

The two of you had been able to navigate the Seattle streets pretty quickly and without interference. The Wolves and the Seraphites must’ve still been busy killing each other on the island.

“Pinnacle Theater Presents: Cassandra, September 26” was plastered across the front of the building.

And now, staring at the entrance to the theater, Abby realized that she actually had no idea what she was up against. The lights were on inside, so someone was here.

She had seen Tommy Miller earlier at the marina, so she knew he would be inside, but Manny hadn’t said there was a trespasser; he’d said trespassers, plural. She could be in way over her head here, totally outnumbered. Jackson had been huge. They obviously had numbers and resources. But would they really risk those numbers and waste those resources just to avenge one guy? She didn’t know.

Did they leave the map behind on purpose?

Abby could be walking right into a trap. 

She could be leading you into one.

She was about to turn back, about to tell you it wasn’t worth the risk, when her eyes caught on the blood. It was on her hands, under her nails, staining her skin and her clothes. Mixed with the caked-on mud on her shoes. 

Lev’s blood. Yara’s and Mel’s. And Owen’s.

Owen, who had been Abby’s best friend. Who had loved her dad so much. Who cared for her, even when she’d done nothing but push him away. Who never abandoned her, even when he should have. Who continued to be there, to look out for her and support her, even after she broke his heart. 

Owen, who might’ve been the only person left in the world who loved her.

The person who killed him was inside this building.

“Let’s find a way in,” she said.

------------------------------------------------------------

On the side of the building, there was a metal ladder that was too high up for either of you to reach it on your own, but it led to a fire escape.

“Okay,” Abby said, “Grab that ladder.” She stood beneath it and intertwined her fingers over a bent knee, ready to boost you up.

Realistically, you didn’t think you would be able to reach it even if you grew a full foot taller and stood on top of her head, but you weren’t in the mood to argue. With your right foot, you stepped into her upturned palms and pushed up. Planting your left foot on her shoulder, you stood at your full height, one hand against the wall, and – as you suspected – still couldn’t reach. 

She said your name, clipped and strained, and then, through clenched teeth, “Jump.”

You did, but you wouldn’t have made it if she hadn’t pushed you up, practically throwing you at the ladder.

Holy shit, she was strong.

You grabbed hold of the lowest rung and had to use upper-body strength you honestly didn’t know you had to pull yourself up with your arms until your feet could reach that bottom step.

“Good. You’ve got it,” you heard Abby say from below as you made your way up, the hard part done now. Once you were standing on the fire escape, you quickly found the latch that released the ladder to its full length. Even then, it still didn’t come close to reaching the ground, but it was manageable.

You watched as Abby jumped to grab on and had to go through the same process of pulling herself up with her arms for the first few rungs. Once you were sure she would make it up okay, you turned away and started looking around. There was a window next to you that led into the building, cracked open and letting in the rain. You could hear voices coming from inside, crackling and speaking in code. 

A radio.

“Units Alpha, Bravo, Echo, come in.”

The metal shook as Abby finally landed on the fire escape, and she quickly moved away from the edge.

“Units Alpha, Bravo, Echo, please respond, over.”

Abby pushed the window further open and jumped into a small room with brick walls and faded wooden floors. You followed behind.

She shot you a quick look, putting a finger to her lips as if to warn you to stay quiet as she moved forward through the building, closer to the radio.

“What the hell is going on over there?”

Sounds like things aren’t going so great for the Wolves, you thought as you stepped quietly behind Abby.

She walked up to the work table where the radio sat and stopped in her tracks. You came around to her side to see what she was looking at. On the wall behind the radio, there was a larger map of the area, marked with WLF zone numbers, unit movements, names, and even Seraphite territories. Whoever was staying here had been tracking everyone, and they’d probably been using this radio to do it. 

But why? Who were they and why did they want Abby?

You glanced over to her, but she wasn’t looking at the map. She was staring down at the table at a collection of little photographs.

“These are Leah’s,” she said quietly. You didn’t know who Leah was, but you studied the pictures anyway. Each of them had names written at the bottom.

Abby and Owen. Mel and Owen. Nick and Nora. Manny. Leah and Jordan. (And one of just Leah with her shirt lifted enough to show off one of her breasts… You wondered who that was for.)

You recognized most of the names from the maps. Were all of them dead now?

Abby turned away from the pictures, leaving them there on the table as she moved over to study the map. 

Over the radio, a new voice said, “Site Two! This is Briggs from Unit Echo. Fuck!”

“This is Site Two. Echo, what’s the situation?”

Abby pushed off from the table and headed back out into the hallway, gun at the ready. You took another look at the pictures before grabbing them and shoving them into your pants pocket beside the things you’d taken from the island earlier. Whoever these people were, they didn’t deserve to keep these pictures of Abby and her friends. And maybe later, Abby would want them. 

“Isaac’s dead. It’s a fucking massacre!”

You smiled, despite everything. Your people were fighting back against those fuckers. 

Since when did you use – or even think – words like fucker?

And could you really call the Seraphites your people anymore?

You turned and sped down the hall behind Abby.

“Careful. Stay close,” she whispered once she heard you behind her.

The hallway opened up into a much bigger, wider space. You’d never seen an Old World building like this one before. Carpets covered the floor, some red and some with fancy patterns on them. The walls had colors and designs, the ceilings were so tall, and there was furniture everywhere. You wondered what this place had been used for. Maybe you could ask later.

Abby led the way down a winding flight of stairs, stopping just before going around the corner, holding a hand back behind her to signal you to stop. You lifted your bow and let out a quiet breath. 

A man’s voice came from around the corner, speaking with an accent that was unfamiliar to you.

“Fuckin’ Jesse,” he said. “He thinks I don’t know what real gold looks like.” Abby stepped around the corner, gun pointed at the man who had his back to you. You followed hesitantly, staying close. “Well wait’ll you see this, you son of a bitch. She’s gonna love it,” he went on, clearly talking to himself, completely unaware of the threat directly behind him.

“Hands up,” Abby said, voice cold and hard. He froze. “Back away from your shit.” When he didn’t move, she spoke more forcefully. “I said back up!” 

Slowly, he did, hands empty and out where you both could see them. “You’re making a big mistake–”

“Don’t fucking turn around,” she spit out, stepping forward. 

Her eyes darted to you for a split second, voice lowering as she told you to keep your bow on him. You did, moving around to his side, weapon raised and aimed and ready to fire at a moment’s notice. 

“Get on the ground,” she said, speaking to him again.

“You gonna kill me like a coward?” he asked, unmoving.

Abby didn’t answer. Instead, she kicked in the back of his knee and knocked him on the floor with one swing of her pistol. With the muzzle pressed into the back of his neck, her voice cracked as she mumbled, “You fucking people…”

The giant red doors across from you swung open, and before you had even registered that a young man was rushing through them, Abby had already shot him in the head. Someone else had come in right behind him, but they managed to duck behind the counter before either of Abby’s two shots in their direction could take them out. 

“Jesse!” the other voice gasped from their hiding spot, just as Abby said, “Stand up! Hands in the air or I shoot this one, too!” She trained her gun back on the first man. You kept your bow aimed at the person behind the counter. 

“Don’t you do it, Ellie! Get out of here!” the man said, rolling onto his stomach, holding himself up on his elbows.

“Stand up! Now!” Abby commanded. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Abby seethed, kicking him in the stomach. He let out a cry as she brought the gun closer to his head.

“Stop!” came the voice behind the counter. The girl stood up, hands raised, fingers extended away from the trigger of the pistol in her right hand. “Stop.”

You and Abby both took her in. 

She was probably around your age, with shoulder-length brown hair pulled half up. A bruise went across her freckled cheek, and a tattoo covered her entire right forearm. Her shoulders rose and fell quickly with her gasping breaths. Her eyes were panicked. And sad. And scared.

She looked… nice? Harmless?

This was the girl who helped kill all of Abby’s friends? Who killed Yara?

Instantly, there came a stinging pain in your chest so strong that it took your breath away. You’d been trying not to think about that.

You refocused and re-aimed.

“Toss your weapon,” Abby said. The girl hesitated. “Toss your weapon!” Abby shouted.

“Fuck!” Ellie breathed out as she flung her gun on the other side of the counter.

“No… no,” the older man muttered.

“I know why you killed Joel,” Ellie said, voice desperate. “He did what he did to save me. There’s no cure because of me. I’m the one you want.”

If you weren’t confused before, you definitely were now. Who was Joel? What did he do?

And what cure? A cure for the Infection?

You were really starting to wish you’d asked Abby more questions before you came here. 

“Just let him go,” Ellie went on, quickly gesturing to the man on the other end of Abby’s gun.

Abby seemed surprised by the girl’s words, taking a second to process and consider before her eyes hardened again. 

“You killed my friends,” she said, speaking quieter now. “We let you both live…” her voice quavered as she lifted her gun to aim at Ellie, “and you wasted it.”

Before she could pull the trigger, the man jumped up and pushed her arm to the side. The gun went off twice as they struggled for control of the weapon.

“Wait!” Ellie cried out.

“Get off of her!” you shouted, firing an arrow through the man’s leg. He fell back to the ground as Abby pointed her gun at his head and shot.

“Tommy!” Ellie had grabbed her gun again during the struggle, and you screamed as she fired a shot at Abby. 

It missed and Abby shot back, also missing.

The girl took off through the doors in the same direction she’d come from.

“Come on!” Abby said to you, running after Ellie.

On the other side of the doors was an even bigger room, filled with rows and rows and plush red seats, leading up to a giant stage. Ellie, already nearly to the stage, continued to fire in your direction, barely missing every time. 

You and Abby ducked down behind the back row of chairs, and her eyes met yours, both of you breathing heavily.

“Stay here,” she said, peeking over the chairs to locate the other girl. “Watch the exits. Don’t let her leave.”

You nodded, hanging back as gunshots continued to go off from the far end of the room.

Abby paused for just a beat longer before starting down the aisle, staying low but moving quickly. 

“Don’t you fucking run!” she shouted to Ellie, who you could now see on the stage. She had the advantage of higher ground and a familiarity with the building.

Please don’t die Please don’t die Please don’t fucking die, you pleaded over and over and over, as Abby made her way to the stage and out of sight behind the big red curtains that Ellie had disappeared into.

They were far away now, but you could still hear the struggle, followed by more gunshots and then more struggling. 

You held your breath.

But for once you did what Abby asked you to do. You stayed put.

Until several minutes later, when another woman – one you hadn’t seen before – ran out onto the stage, looking around frantically before dashing back behind the curtains, not seeing you from where you still crouched behind the last row of seats.

And now Abby was outnumbered back there.

A split second decision and you were up, running down the aisle after them. 

Behind the stage was a darker space, cluttered with junk from floor to ceiling. You moved carefully and quietly, heading towards the commotion.

When you came to a hole in the ground, you realized that the fight was now down below.

God, did they fall through the floor?

You quickly climbed down and dropped into the basement.

Just as your feet touched the floor, you heard someone scream. You ran, finding Abby down with the unknown girl above her swinging a knife.

You fired an arrow through her shoulder, and she fell to the side. And then Abby was on her, bashing the girl’s head into the floor.

You looked away, your eyes landing on Ellie, flat on her back on the ground nearby, conscious but unmoving, her face covered in blood. 

“Stop,” Ellie forced through dripping red lips as the other girl’s head hit the floor a second and third time. “Stop!” Ellie couldn’t even turn her head to properly look at what was happening to her friend. “She had nothing to do with this.”

Abby grabbed the girl’s knife from where she’d dropped it on the floor, grabbed her by the hair, and flipped her onto her back, holding the knife against her throat.

“She’s pregnant,” Ellie choked out.

Abby let out a few heaving breaths before pressing the knife closer. “Good,” she seethed.

“Abby!” you called out. 

She stopped, eyes softening as they met yours across the room. She watched you, read the plea in your eyes, and the fight seemed to seep out of her in an instant. 

She dropped the knife, pushed the girl to the side, and slowly got to her feet.

Ellie coughed, choking on her own blood as Abby stood over her, their gazes locked.

“Don’t ever let me see you again,” Abby said. A firm command. A sincere warning.

And then she walked away, passing you without making eye contact.

“Come on,” she muttered. 

You followed her out of the theater.

------------------------------------------------------------

Abby didn’t know where the hell she was going.

She had been walking through empty streets, blinking past the pouring rain, for who knows how long before it even occurred to her that she didn’t have a destination.

The thought of going back to the aquarium right now, of facing what was waiting for her there, made her sick.

Her body felt heavy. Everything hurt. It had been a long time since she’d gotten anywhere close to as fucked up as she was now.

That girl – Ellie – bit her. Hard. Like a fuckin’ rabid dog. And then Abby had hit her lower back on the corner of something hard when she fell through the floor and into the basement. She took some punches, got a knife buried in her left thigh, and that other girl got a few cuts in with her own blade before you shot her with an arrow.

And that didn’t even take into consideration everything else she’d been through today. The marina and the island and the aquarium.

It was… a lot.

She couldn’t really take stock of the total physical damage while she was busy trudging along down dark streets, but she knew that everything hurt. And she was definitely bleeding. And her body felt too hot but also too cold. And she was so tired. 

Shit, this wasn’t good.

Abby was aware of your presence behind her. She could hear you. But you hadn’t spoken at all, and she hadn’t looked at you once since you left the theater.

She needed to put some more distance between you and that place (and what happened there) before she could bear to do that, hoping that the further it was behind you, the further it would be from your mind.

But that’s not realistic. There was no way you would forget what you just saw.

She needed to know if you were scared of her now, if you didn’t trust her anymore. She saw the look in your eyes when you stopped her from killing that girl. You were horrified. 

You must think she’s a monster. 

She stumbled, her bleeding left leg becoming harder and harder to maneuver.

Here you were – this perfect, beautiful thing that came out of nowhere – and she had to ruin it with another revenge plot that ultimately accomplished nothing except to make the people close to her look at her differently, regard her more cautiously, whisper about her when she’s not around.

Did you see the look in her eyes when she beat Joel to death with that golf club? Brutal. What’s wrong with her? What kind of person could even do that? 

God, her life was turning into one sick, cyclical joke.

But you were literally the only person she had left, so she refused to turn around. Because if you still had that same look in your eyes the next time she saw you, it might break her. And she wasn’t ready to face that.

Abby stumbled again, this time more noticeably. She was able to right herself, but it took her longer to recover this time.

She was losing steam.

“Abby?” Your voice was as soft as the steadying fingers she felt on her shoulder as you walked around to face her. She kept her head down, still not wanting to meet your eyes. “Abby,” you said again when she didn’t acknowledge you, and then you were holding her face with both hands, cold fingers against her warm cheeks. You gently lifted her face until she had no choice but to look at you. 

She thought she might be crying, but she wasn’t sure for how long. 

Your eyes were wide, but not with fear or apprehension like she’d feared, not like you looked in the basement of the theater. You were worried about her. 

“We can’t keep going on like this,” you said. One of your thumbs was lightly, soothingly, grazing her cheek as you carefully studied her face. “You’re hurt.”

Her whole body shook with a sob, but you didn’t shy away. If anything, you pressed closer. 

Despite everything, she felt stupid for crying. She wanted to argue with you, wanted to be strong. She could keep going.

But you were looking at her like you cared, like maybe she hadn’t ruined everything like she thought. And she wanted you to stay close. To keep touching her.

“Come on,” you said, tilting your head towards the nearest building. A house. “Let’s at least get out of the rain.”

Abby nodded as your hands fell away from her face to pull your bow from where it rested over your shoulder and notch an arrow, and she was glad at least one of you had the wherewithal to be cautious of an abandoned building. If she had an ounce more energy, she’d be horrified to realize that neither of you had a weapon out until now. 

The front door was mostly intact and slightly ajar. You approached carefully, painstakingly forcing it further open with your shoulder, fighting against rusted hinges and warped wood. The floorboards creaked beneath your boots as you stepped inside, quickly scanning the entryway for anything or anyone that posed a threat. Abby followed behind you, trying not to visibly limp on her injured leg.

“You need to sit down,” you said over your shoulder, just loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain outside. Under any other circumstances, she’d insist on making sure the building was clear first herself, but she wasn’t confident in her current ability to even make it all the way inside, much less up and down the stairs. 

With your bow still drawn, you led the way through the first floor of the building, passing a bathroom and a kitchen before arriving in what was once the living room. The room was filled with furniture in various levels of destruction and decay, somehow the most well-preserved among them being an old couch pressed against the back wall.

You pointed to it. “Sit,” you instructed. She moved toward the couch without protest and sat in the left-most corner, albeit very slowly. You set your bow down, leaning it up against the wall by the couch, and shrugged off a backpack you brought from the aquarium, digging around in the main compartment until you found what you were looking for.

You pulled out a small battery-powered lantern and your dagger. “I’m going to check the rest of the house, okay? I’ll be back. Don’t move.”

Abby let out a scoff, immediately followed by a pained hiss. “I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to,” she said. It would’ve sounded more cool and casual if she hadn’t had to say it through gritted teeth. And if she hadn’t been crying in the rain in the middle of the street two minutes ago. 

Just the thought of it made her cringe. It felt weird being the one who needed help, the one being taken care of. She really didn’t like feeling weak. But she was glad to be sitting down, glad to be near you, and glad you still seemed to want to be near her. 

Your face held that same hesitant, worried look long enough that she forced a small smile and attempted to reassure you with, “I’m fine. Go.”

She was lying and she could tell that you knew that, but you didn’t have much of a choice. You turned to go quickly search the house.

------------------------------------------------------------

The second floor was clear of any discernible threats but also of anything that would be useful in helping Abby. On your way back to the living room, you rummaged through the downstairs bathroom and a couple of mostly empty closets in the hopes of finding something. Medical supplies. Even clean cloths.

You found nothing there and moved on to your last hope, the kitchen. This room was even more ransacked than the rest of the house, so it wasn’t a surprise when you didn’t find what you were looking for.

You groaned loudly and dramatically, clasping your hands together on the back of your neck and casting your gaze upward in frustration.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Abby quickly asked from the other room, sounding ready to jump up off the couch and rush to your rescue even in her current condition. It made you smile, just a little, until you remembered that this was no time to be smiling.

“It’s nothing. The house is clear. I was just looking for some medical supplies.”

“Who needs medical supplies?” she asked, surprising you with an attempt at a joke. Either that or she was so out of it that she was starting to lose touch with reality.

“You do, Abby,” you said. “You need medical supplies. Urgently.” 

You were still staring up like the answer would be written up there somewhere if you just looked hard enough, when something in the space between the one of the top cabinets and the ceiling caught your eye. If you weren’t mistaken, it looked like the corner of a first aid kit, similar to the one Abby brought back from the hospital for Yara.

It was too high for you to reach standing, and there was nothing for you to stand on top of. The countertops were broken, the pieces scattered across the room, and the wood of the lower cabinets was rickety and unstable at best.

You were grumbling under your breath about high ceilings and unnaturally tall cabinets as you reentered the living room to find Abby almost exactly where you left her, left leg now up on the couch and elevated, right foot still planted on the floor. Both of her hands were hovering over the gash in her thigh like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to touch it or not, her face tense. She was in a lot of pain.

You pulled your eyes away and looked for something sturdy enough for you to stand on, eventually deciding on a mostly intact, only slightly wobbly small metal table. You dropped the lantern on top and started pulling it toward the kitchen.

“Do you really think now is the best time to rearrange the furniture, princess?” Abby asked, glancing at you in her periphery. She was joking again, and you knew that, but you couldn’t help the warmth that pooled in your cheeks at her use of that pet-name. But maybe humor and casual flirtation were just how she coped with pain. 

“I–” You cleared your throat, “I need something to stand on. I think I found something in the kitchen.”

“Aww, can’t reach the top shelf by yourself?” Abby asked, amused. She turned her attention from her leg to watch as you struggled to drag the table out of the room. It squeaked along the floor the entire way, making her laugh softly.

The fact that she was being playful with you started to ease your lingering panic about the state of her health. If she was cracking jokes, she couldn’t be that close to dying, right? A little rest and she’d probably be just fine.

“Crazy how you’ve lost like half your blood supply and yet you still have enough energy to tease me,” you said, your own teeth gritted now. The table was much heavier than you anticipated. “And for your information, the thing that I’m trying to get is not on the top shelf. It is above the top shelf. On top of the cabinet.”

“Uh huh. Sure… Take your time. I’m just over here casually bleeding out.”

You liked this. 

Was it weird to like this? 

It was nice when you just got to talk, when the world wasn’t actively burning to the ground around you, when things felt easy and wonderful and comfortable between you two. You’d seen glimpses of it over the last few days, had fallen into pockets of space where time seemed to stop and you got to feel happy. And hopeful. But those moments were few and far between and always over too soon. Selfishly, you wanted more of it. You wanted more time. More of Abby.

You were scared to hope for it, scared to want something so strongly. Your wishes had never come true before.

“Well,” you responded, finding your words, “I’m no doctor. But I’m pretty sure that if the knife had hit any major arteries, you would’ve bled out a long time ago. So you’ll be fine for another minute. Probably.” With one final shove, you managed to get the table where you needed it.

You carefully stepped up on it, hoping that some sadistic asshole hadn’t thrown an empty first aid kit all the way up here just to waste the time and energy of some poor desperate fool in need of medical supplies. (You, of course, being that poor desperate fool.)

After brushing off a thick layer of dust, you grabbed the handle. The kit was full.

“Yes!” you shouted, nearly tumbling off the table in your excitement. With the medical supplies and the lantern in hand, you rushed back to the living room.

Abby could tease you all she wanted and try to make light of the situation, but she couldn’t hide the look of relief that washed over her features when she saw what you were carrying.

And if you were paying closer attention to her face, she also wouldn’t have been able to hide the way her eyes went wide and her cheeks got visibly pink when you got on your knees on the floor in front of her.

“Uhhh hey, you can—you can sit on the couch.”

You raised your eyebrows, confused by her sudden nervousness. “No, the angle will be better this way,” you insisted. “Just bring your leg over here. That’s the worst of your injuries, right?” 

“I don’t know. Probably,” she conceded, avoiding eye contact as you helped her maneuver her injured leg so that her foot was back on the floor, practically between your knees.

There was already a tear in her pant leg where the gash was. So to avoid having Abby stand up and take her pants off or cutting all the way around at mid-thigh, leaving her with half a pair of pants for the foreseeable future, you opted to just rip the fabric a little more on either side of the tear, making it just wide enough to clean and stitch if necessary.

But it didn’t occur to you to fill Abby in on this plan before you did it. You took the already-ripped fabric of her pants in your hands and tore. And when she gasped in response, there was twisting heat in your gut that seems to be a recurring side effect of being close to Abby. You chose to ignore it in favor of focusing on the more urgent (and honestly less daunting and less complicated) task at hand.

“Sorry!” Your eyes darted up to her face. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head quickly. “No, just… wasn’t expecting that.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you dug around in the first aid kit and started cleaning the wound. Abby was quiet as you worked, wincing slightly but remaining still.

The cut was deep, but as you expected it missed the femoral artery. You would have to stitch it up, though, and you told Abby as such. She nodded and watched you carefully as you quickly prepared, hoping to get this part over with as quickly as possible.

You moved even closer to her. Abby’s shin gently pressed against your front as you leaned over her knee, bringing your face closer, your movements precise and intentional.

She brought her hands down on either side of her legs, bracing herself. Her shoulders tensed, arms engaged. You allowed yourself one glance before tearing your eyes away, feeling guilty for ogling. 

Focus. 

You looked back down at her thigh and began.

As you worked, a strand of your hair fell from where you had tucked it behind your ear and into your face. You let out a light, annoyed huff. Before you could attempt to blow the strand out of your eyeline, Abby’s fingers gently brushed it back behind your ear. You felt yourself blush deeply, saying a quiet thank you before going back to sewing her up.

When the last stitch was done and you’d carefully wrapped the wound, you felt Abby’s fingers run through your hair again, this time for no other reason but to draw your eyes up to meet hers.

“Come up here,” she said, her voice low. You stood, bringing the first aid kit with you, and felt the springs in the cushions creak beneath you as you sat on the couch, facing her and closer than was probably necessary. 

You felt jittery, and it suddenly occurred to you that you’d never been this alone with Abby before. There had always been someone else close by, somewhere in the same building or around the next corner. But now it really was just the two of you. It was scary in an incredible, thrilling way that you weren’t accustomed to.

But Abby was injured and you were both tired and today had easily been the longest – and the worst – day of your life, even if you still weren’t letting yourself think about what happened.

No. You’d rather focus on Abby. On what she needed. 

You started searching her body, analyzing the rest of her wounds. Abby sat still under your careful ministrations, watching your face with a soft look in her eyes as you took stock of the damage. You found several cuts of varying depths across her arms along with the one under her eye. And there was something else on her right arm, below the elbow. You took her wrist in your hand, turning that arm towards the soft glow of the lantern.

“Did she bite you?” you asked, nose scrunching up in distaste.

“Oh,” Abby winced. “Yeah.”

“Ouch,” you said simply, and she laughed a little as you grabbed some more supplies from the kit. You began gently wiping away the blood surrounding her remaining injuries, cleaning all of the wounds and stitching up the deeper of the cuts. You saved the cut on her cheek for last.

It was clear to you now that things weren’t quite as detrimental as you had feared. With everything else taken care of, her face was the last thing that required your attention. The rain had done a poor job of washing away all the blood, but it seemed that much less of that blood had come from Abby than you had anticipated anyway.

“I can do that,” she said in a whisper when you went to clean her face.

“I know,” you replied, just as quiet. “I want to.”

A few moments went by in silence as you worked gently but diligently, eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” she said suddenly, quickly clarifying, “Not sorry that I did it, but sorry that you had to… see me that way.” Her eyes were downcast, and you wanted to hold her face and make her look at you again the same way you did in the street, but you refrained. You put your hands in your lap and drew back a bit, giving her space.

If you were being honest, the Abby you saw in the theater scared you. That Abby beat a person so thoroughly that they couldn’t move, couldn’t even turn their head to stop from choking on their own blood. That Abby would knowingly slit the throat of an unconscious pregnant woman without batting an eye.

Of course, you had known that she was physically strong. You saw her kill swiftly and without hesitation to protect herself and those close to her. But this was different, right? It was excessive violence. 

There was a lot you didn’t know about those people in the theater; that much was clear. They had been hunting Abby for days, killing her friends and seemingly anything else in their path.

They killed Owen and Mel and… and everyone else in those little pictures still tucked in your pocket.

You weren’t sure of the exact history between Owen and Abby, but you did know how important he was to her. And you had seen her reaction when she found him dead.

Who’s to say Ellie would’ve ever stopped coming after Abby and the people close to her? Who’s to say she would even stop now?

So could you really judge Abby for her actions, given how much you didn’t know?

This world is great at breeding darkness, planting it in you from the moment you’re born, growing and spreading both inside your being and out. Everyone has darkness. Tonight you caught your first glimpse of Abby’s. 

She had gotten scary, but that didn’t make her a monster.

And she pulled back. She stopped. That meant a lot. 

You trusted her. And you trusted yourself. You were sheltered, but you weren’t stupid.

Abby was a good person, and she was in your life for a reason, so you weren’t going anywhere.

You knew it was weighing on her, though. Not just everything that happened today, but the fear that what happened could have a lasting effect on this thing between the two of you.

So you shook your head. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad I was there. You shouldn’t have had to do that alone.” She nodded, but seemed unconvinced that you didn’t have anything else to say on the matter.

Part of you wanted to ask for the history now. How she knew Ellie. Why she wanted her dead. But you didn’t need that from her right now. 

Instead, you took another swipe at her face, wiping away the last of the blood. When you were finished, you pulled your hand away. The cut there might form a scar, but you weren’t brave enough to attempt stitches. Not on her lovely face, so close to her eye.

Now that Abby was about as fixed up as she was going to get, you turned your attention to the blood on your own hands. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Abby watched as you meticulously scrubbed at your fingers.

When you finished with that, you put everything back into the first aid kit and put the kit in your backpack. Then you made a pile of all the trash that had accumulated. Then you sat back down and immediately stood back up. You shrugged off your jacket – Well, her jacket. (You hadn’t taken it off since Abby gave it to you on the boat, and she didn’t want you to. It looked better on you anyway.) You draped it over the other end of the couch, and then you sat down again. 

You were so restless it almost made her wish she had sustained more injuries, just to give you something productive to do with your hands.

When you started to stand again moments later, saying something about needing to move that little table back where you found it, Abby stopped you with a hand encircling your wrist.

“Hey. Stop. Just sit. You need to rest,” she said, pulling you back down on the couch.

“I’m fine,” you insisted but stayed put. “You’re the one who needs rest after everything you’ve been through today. You should try to get some sleep.”

“Everything I’ve been through?” she asked. “What about you?” When you didn’t react, she said your name. You cut her off before she could say anything else.

“You got hurt,” you said, almost exasperated, motioning to her entire body as evidence.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Abby said.

“I’m fine,” you said again, colder this time.

“No, you’re not.”

“Abby–”

“You’re not fine! You’re just pretending like it didn’t happen.” 

“Don’t,” you said, looking away now.

She knew she was pushing, maybe even too far, but she promised herself she’d snap you out of this if you didn’t do it yourself.

“You didn’t even look at her body. You haven’t reacted at all–”

“Abby, stop,” you begged in a breathy exhale. 

And she did, but only because at that moment you closed the short distance between you and pressed your lips to hers. 

------------------------------------------------------------

You were hesitant at first.

You’d never kissed anyone before.

You hadn’t even meant to kiss Abby. 

You wanted to – had been wanting to for some time – but it wasn’t a conscious decision you made in that moment.

You just needed her to stop talking. 

So you kissed her, surprising both of you.

Just a soft brush of your lips against hers, a hand on one side of her face, holding her still, keeping her where you wanted her. By the time she responded to your touch, you were already pulling away. 

A thrill shot down your spine and spread throughout your body. You wanted more, but you didn’t know if it was yours to take. 

You weren’t sure Abby wanted you the way you wanted her.

You studied her face, watched as her eyes went from being wide-blown and shocked to something that looked like hunger. A neediness that matched your own.

She was looking at your lips, so you grabbed her face with both hands this time and pulled her in, kissing her again.

------------------------------------------------------------

Abby’s heart beat against her chest as her hand found your waist. She gripped you there, pulling you even closer.

If the first kiss had been testing the waters, this was diving in head first.

It had never felt like this for her before. Touches that she had only ever pulled away from in the past, she heavily leaned into now, seeking more, needing it in a way she wasn’t used to. 

She knew you were just distracting her, that you only wanted to get her to stop talking about Lev and Yara, the island and the aquarium. She knew that you probably wouldn’t even be doing this if she hadn’t pushed you to talk.

But then you deepened the kiss and suddenly she didn’t know much of anything. Except that she didn’t ever want you to stop.

God, you still. weren’t. close enough.

She pulled you towards her, and you went willingly where her hands guided you until she had you on her lap, your knees straddling her legs on either side.

You stopped, pulling away from the kiss and whispering through heaving breaths, “Abby, your leg-”

“ ‘M fine,” she mumbled, already pulling your face back down to meet hers. The soft moan you let out as your lips met made her crazy. Her hands moved from your face, tracing their way down before landing on your hips.

She wanted to slow down, take her time with you. She wanted to strip off all of your clothes, push you on your back, pin you beneath her, and explore. She wanted to hear every sound you could make and learn exactly where to touch – how to touch – to make you come undone. 

Abby pushed her hands up under your shirt, fingers sliding along your lower back and up your sides. You gasped, leaning into the touch.

But then you pulled away entirely.

------------------------------------------------------------

You promised. The thought cut through the fevered haze in your mind, sending a shock through your system. 

You promised Yara that you would bring Lev back safe. You said you wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

You told Lev that everything would be okay. You told him you’d get off that island together.

The full weight of it hit you like a tidal wave, so hard you thought it might’ve actually bruised your body and broken your bones. It knocked the air from your lungs.

Your friends were gone. It was your job to take care of them, and now they were dead. You did everything wrong today, made every mistake, and it cost them their lives. 

Somehow, you had gone from Abby’s lap to the other end of the couch, pressing yourself as deep into the corner as you could as you pulled your knees up. Your trembling hands pressed against your chest as you shook with the first of the sobs.

Abby moved and then she was on her knees on the floor right in front of you.

You thought she might be talking to you, but you couldn’t hear anything over the sound of the ringing in your ears.

It felt like something was pressing down on your chest. You couldn’t breathe. You kept trying but your lungs wouldn’t fill. 

Lev. Yara.

Images of one on the dirty ground and one on the hard floor. Both of them laying in a puddle of their own blood. And both of them left there by you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to make them go away. But they were still there behind your eyelids. 

Still dead. 

------------------------------------------------------------

You were having a panic attack, the worst one she’d ever seen, and nothing Abby did was helping.

She kept trying to get you to look at her, to breathe, but it was like you couldn’t hear her. Your chest continued to rise and fall jaggedly. 

She wasn’t sure if she should touch you – Were you supposed to touch people who were in the middle of a panic attack? – But she did anyway. With a gentle hand, she pushed your hair out of your eyes and held your chin, turning your face to look at her.

Your eyes widened like you hadn’t realized she was there, like you were seeing her for the first time.

Good. Now that you could see her, maybe you could hear her too.

She held your gazes as she spoke softly. “Baby, you need to breathe. Copy me.” She modeled a deep, slow inhale, followed by a slow exhale. It was shaky and not nearly as strong, but you tried. “Good girl. Again.”

You continued like that for several minutes until you were able to follow Abby’s breathing patterns exactly. The tears didn’t stop, but the heaving sobs had calmed to occasion hiccupping whimpers. 

Abby’s fingers ran through your hair, pushing it behind your ear. You still hadn’t said anything, and she didn’t think you would tonight. 

“Can you lay down for me?” she asked, voice low. You nodded  and began to shift out of your curled position, slowly stretching out your legs. Abby stood to grab the jacket from behind you on the couch and waited for you to lay down before she spread it out over you, covering you up as much as possible. Then she sat on the floor in front of you, turned so that her side was pressed up against the couch.

You were blinking more slowly now, exhausted from… everything. 

When you started crying again, she put her hand back on your head, letting her fingers run through your hair and scratch at your scalp in a way that she hoped was soothing. (At least she knew it would’ve been for her.)

“I know,” she said, leaning her head against the arm of the couch. “I’m so sorry.”

She stayed like that for a while, even after your breathing slowed and evened out and she was sure you had fallen asleep. She felt a tightness in her chest every time you sniffled. 

Abby had already decided to stay awake and keep watch. 

Her eyes scanned the room until they landed on your backpack. She got up, grabbed the pistol from inside the bag, and returned to her spot in front of the couch.

She watched the doors and windows, listened closely for any sounds of danger, but her eyes kept drifting back to you.

------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @h0meb0dyi @strawbeffys @sapphicontherun @lmaoo-spiderman @stickynachomaker @4-atsu @00ops1e @absoluteshitshow

[likehephaestionwhodied]

Hi! I saw your comment on leatherdaddies/leather/kink at pride and you mentioned how this type of masculinity isn't meant to be performed for a het audience, and removing that framework is essentially hollowing out this type of masculinity. (?) I've been looking into modern media portrayals of non hegemonic masculinity and I was wondering if you had some good intro sources for leather culture? Based on the info in that post I'm wondering if there's some bleed through with pop culture/TV and the modern pop cowboy/space western but I could just be jumping to conclusions. At any rate would sill love and appreciate any recs you would be able to give--if not, totally understand! Either way I love the info that you added to that post a lot!!

It's like you knew I didn't want to be working on my thesis and have come to save me.

Okay so, it really depends on what you want for like "sources for leather culture" because if it's leather culture as it exists today put on your tightest Levis, and your heaviest leather boots and go to the local gay bar on leather night and make friends (easier said than done I know I've always lived in rural America, also pls don't go gawk leathermen we can tell) But if you want historic sources that I can help you with better.

The two books I cite the most in my thesis when it comes to leather masculinity are 1. Urban Aboriginals: A Celebration of Leathersexuality by Geoff Mains and 2. The Leatherman's Handbook by Larry Townsend.

The first is much easier to get your hands on than the second. You can just by Urban Aboriginals on Amazon or Thriftbooks or bookshops, probably even your local gay bookstore if you have one, it's still in print. I have the third edition I love that book SO MUCH it was originally published in the early 80s, and I use it as a reflection of the "golden" age of Leather in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, The Leatherman's Handbook and The Leatherman's Handbook II are out of print. That is not to say you can't get your hands on them. I spent an obscene amount of money to buy the pair on ebay. But also, I once found a Lesbian SM reader in my school's library, so you might beable to get it though an interlibrary loan? or maybe a pdf exists?

Another useful text that I cite quite a bit is Leather Folk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, edited by Mark Thompson. This is an anthology of essays written by, you guessed it, leatherfolk both gay men and others. (I am assuming because of the post that you are most interested in gay leathermen)

Regarding the rest of your post on pop-culture portrayals of non-hegemonic masculinity (I am assuming you are using that term in an academic "I've read R.W. Connell" way, if not RIP, sorry again I'm working my thesis the first chapter of which is very "I'm Read R.W. Connell") I have one thing to say:

I am 90% sure only three of these men are gay, that only three of these men are intimately aware of the costumes they are wearing. David Hodo, the construction worker, Randy Jones the Cowboy, and Glenn Hughes. I wish I could find the photo of the three of them in their costumes with one very important detail, a single button of their 501s is undone. If you are a gay man crusing in the 1970s you own a pair of levi 501s that are so tight you have to shimmy into them, and you leave one of the buttons undone to make your dick bigger. You can also just tell when they're dancing who understood the assaignment.

I give all this information because the village people have such a weird relationship with the gay community. I haven't done a lot of work with them specifically so I'm sure someone is gonna read this and know xyz. But these guys are named after the west village, where gay men lived in new york, and got their start preforming for gay men. the costumes they wear are of course different types of masculinity idealized in the gay community. Their songs (at least the first iteration of the village people) are usually about gay things. YMCA is of course about crusing, but "San Francisco" from their debut is even more overt along side "Go West," "In the Navy," and "macho man"

I've inserted this video as a visual so when I say, "the three gay ones understand the assignment," you know what I mean, their performance is campy where, where the other two are missing that.

But deconstructing the Village people, or at least the three queerest ones takes an understanding of queer history. In the same way that the Leatherman is a "biker," the construction worker is not really a construction worker (this is not to say that Leathermen are not often bikers, they are) The construction worker is a "Clone" the promiscuous gay men of the 70s who wore Levi jeans, work boots, tight t-shirts, and flannel and solicited sex from other clones in public. Similarly, the cowboy might be a cowboy, but he might also be one of the hundreds of men who hung out at western-themed bars (closely related to leather) and are the prototype of the bear. All three of these particular queer masculinities resist the feminine archetype of queer men HOWEVER, when produced for mass conception, they are camped up.

I think that this would be an instructive place for you to start, I don't know that I can help with more modern pop-culture though.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

I absolutely hate these kinds of posts so I thought I'd do it to see first hand how many people actually like it and care about other people's opinions on their ships so...

my arbitrary ratings of non canon pjoverse relationships and why I think they would never work (or would) (scroll down for canon)

perachel: 3/10 nothing but platonic vibes, their brief stint felt more like an experiment than genuine romantic feelings or attraction; they both deserved better

percico: 1/10 a reiteration of an earlier post: their relationship would get bogged down by unshared feelings and grief, plus nico's crush was just a crush, and percy never had feelings in the first place

perlypso: 0/10 their whole interaction was percy being half dead and calypso being manipulated, not to mention she cursed him

pereyna: 2/10 any het relationship with reyna feels icky to me, she just seems so queer coded (which makes sense cause she literally joined an ace club), and percy was so focused on annabeth when they first met it just doesn't seem fair to either of them

pipercy: 4/10 this is a FRIENDSHIP I wanna see them figuring out they're bi together so much platonic potential

jercy: 7/10 honestly if I had to put these two with anyone else, I would choose this ship solely for the tension in mark of athena and that an alternate ship name is person

percypollo: 0/10 icky, pedophilic, and honestly kinda homophobic. percy would never enter a relationship with a god anyway

percy/literally any god: 0/10 see percypollo

lukercy: -1/10 imo there is no way to write this in a way that's not abusive, predatory, and just bad in general. i will not take the "enemies to lovers" storyline for this one either because there are some things that just aren't redeemable, and i consider luke's actions irredeemable. plus both their histories with annabeth make this ship very, very icky

pipabeth: 9/10 favorite non canon pairing, I can totally see a threesome with Percy, these two have such a great dynamic, only minus a point because I love percabeth too much

lukabeth: 0/10 sexist, icky, just all around a red flag

jasabeth: 2/10 nothing but platonic vibes

reynabeth: 4/10 they would be so powerful together, but feelings and emotional skills would be their undoing

jeyna: 0/10 see pereyna

leyna: 2/10 sibling vibes and see pereyna

theyna: 8/10 see reynabeth, but also I would love to see their similarities come to a head when they actually have to confront their feelings

apollo/reyna: 0/10 this is a thing?? ew???? reyna has such a huge issue with authority and the gods in general, it would never work, and see pereyna and percypollo

pipeyna: 7/10 would be good, but I need more info, though I think it would bring piper's jealousies to a nice full circle, especially if it was used in a way that helps piper figure out her sexuality

liper: 3/10 sibling vibes, I do not like

jiper: 5/10 that's right y'all, this isn't canon anymore! cute while it lasted, but they were completely made up and forced together by hera. that does not make a good, trusting relationship where one party is missing crucial details and the other remembers things that didn't happen, honestly i would have much rather they just ended it in lost hero when they realized hera was manipulating them

thaluke: 3/10 so much complicated history, I see them as ross and rachel from friends only worse

valgrace: 6/10 platonic mostly, but I can see it turning into something; I think they could definitely be good for each other; would love to see some healing centered stuff for them

valdangelo: 0/10 they barely interact, and their personalities are not the cute "opposites attract" it is straight up "we are both intensely traumatized, but in different, incredibly clashing ways"

haleo: 4/10 I can see it, but with sammy, it's just too complicated

fraleo: 5/10 I like the tension, but ultimately their personalities would clash too much

frazeleo: 10/10 this might be the only non canon ship I really wish was canon. separate, they are boring and clash with each other so much, but I think having the three of them together would provide a buffer when necessary while also keeping things fun and interesting

jasico: 3/10 very much a sibling relationship, seems to me like they were just shoved together because they were there

tratie: 10/10 floors me that they aren't canon

sally/poseidon: 2/10 sure it would work but she is an independent woman who wants less a man and more someone to love her and be there for her that isn't her son

ruegard: 8/10 would 100% ship it if i didn't love beckengard so much, plus i love the patrochilles parallels here

canon ships in order from least favorite to favorite:

zeus/hera: -10/10 sucks ass, their relationship is built on mistrust and a forced marriage, hera is quite literally shackled while zeus does whatever the hell he feels like while hera takes her anger out on anyone but him

god's/any of their affairs: 0/10 there's a reason none of them lasted

piper/shel: 4/10 another reiteration: ig it could be something, but it was literally a few paragraphs, and we know piper is experimenting with her sexuality, so it could be anything, not just a permanent romantic ship

caleo: 4/10 calypso needs some time to figure herself out and not be chained to a person or place; maybe they can try again after they both have some more life experience

frazel: 6/10 cute, but they're still pretty young, even by pjo standards, and compared to the other canon ships they're kinda dull imo, but i do love the awkwardness

beckengard: 9/10 absolutely love it, wartime romance, tension, dying for each other, trying for elysium for each other, only minus a point because one of them was a spy

sally/paul: 9/10 i love it, i'm so glad sally finally found a decent man, only minus a point because...adults

gruniper: 9/10 very cute, would be 10/10 but the start of their relationship felt kinda wonky to me like rick just wanted to pair grover with someone

solangelo: 10/10 adorable, checks all my boxes - opposites attract, healing from trauma, one extrovert one introvert, there is absolutely no downside

percabeth: 11/10 the OGs, the ship i use as a standard for all of my other ships no matter the fandom, still my absolute favorite ship, there was not a single bad track, they are so good for each other