#and a Dr Pepper

[paxmorgana]

At this point I feel it’s mandatory to have an OC rant, so..

Complimentary doodle of the specimen before we begin:

Cain Infodump:

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-Cain stands at around 200 feet tall, and carries a massive sword on his back (I didn’t do it justice here)

-His helmet unhinges both from the top or bottom, meaning he can show either the top or bottom half of his face. This works for him since he usually wants to keep it on.

-His face under that helmet is pretty scarred (big tear in his lip that exposes his teeth, burn marks, a nose that’s been broken often). He avoids showing his face if he can. If you’re familiar with how the “steel bull” torture device muffles the screams of its victims to make the sound of a bull, Cain’s helm works w that same distortion tactic, but since his vocal cords are much deeper due to his size, it gives the impression of a roar rather than a battlecry!

-Cain is secretly scared of putting others and himself in harm’s way, so he tends to drive other people away by being intimidating or cold towards them. If he has the choice not to, he won’t hurt people, but when he gets pushed to his limit, Cain can be absolutely brutal. Though, unless someone directly harms him, it’d take a feat to break his patience.

-Good god he’s so sweet with children. This man has CRAZY parental instincts, and actually was a father in the past (was). Obviously he wouldn’t threaten a child or anything, but oughhh if he sees someone endanger them there’s no saying how pissed he’d be.

-Cain tends to use terms of endearment for those he grows close to, such as dear, darling, etc.

-As for dietary habits, he mainly hunts big game and the other 20% of the time he fucks around in the ocean (poorly).

-UNDER CAIN’S HELMET: I don’t think I’ll draw his face anytime soon so here’s a descriptor of the un-skrewed up parts of his appearance. His eyes are yellow, he has long black hair that slightly protrudes from the back of his helm, sharper teeth, and a forked tongue that really just looks more like it was split because why not.

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Rough minor reference sketch:

Thank you for listening to me yap abt my oc :)))

[forgetmenautical]

I just ate like. so much fucking rice. like more rice than you can ever imagine

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[alexanderhamiltonhasafatass]

I'm craving spicy nacho Doritos right now like I'm frothing at the mouth

[doubledudeski]

pics that make you go "oh I KNOW he eated a trash"

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Because I wrote a chapter of The Anthropocene Reviewed about the history of Diet Dr Pepper, the Dr Pepper Snapple Company reached out to me one day to inquire a brand relationship.

I am not one to turn my nose up at Big Soda money, so I agreed to meet with them. Two nice people showed up on zoom and they said what kind of relationship with Dr Pepper would interest you, and I said:

"I would like for Dr Pepper to be the official sponsor of humanity's relationship with the moon." My idea was that Dr Pepper and I would share stories from history about how humanity has understood and imagined the moon, and then at the end there would be a little tag line that was like, "Dr Pepper: Sponsoring Humanity's Relationship with the Moon Since 2023."

I still think this is a great idea. Who needs an Official Soda more than humanity's relationship with the moon???

Then they asked me if I would, like, make tiktoks about how much I liked Diet Dr Pepper, and I said of course not that would be extremely boring.

Anyway, they never got back to me.

[20belowveins]

I’M A PEPPER

[scottishmushroom]

Every Doctor Who fan after watching Dot and Bubble:

[proudtobememed]

[strawberryyyenthusiast]

Eddie is on tour during July, so Steve decides to join him bc why the hell not. The corroded coffin TikTok page has been consistently getting 30,000 views for each video because their social media manager sucks ass and doesn’t know what the people want from their favorite artists.

But a video of the four guys goofing off goes pretty viral and they jump from 50k followers to 2 million in a week. The social media guy quits and Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Freak all take turns posting videos, which helps them build a shitload of traction.

It’s eddie’s turn to post a video and Steve is in the background with all of his diabetes stuff spread around him. He’s putting on a new cgm onto the back of his arm.

Everyone starts to freak out because people are super uneducated on what diabetes is and they immediately accuse Steve of doing drugs and other nefarious stuff. It gets so bad that they have to disable to comment section on that video.

Eddie comes out with a video a few days later stating:

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend. He has type one diabetes and was just putting on his new dexcom. Stop being assholes. Thank you!”

It’s very short and succinct and people turn eddie’s millennial pause at the beginning into a meme that haunts him forever.

(A week later, Steve has multiple fan pages dedicated to him, which he never sees because he is a grandpa at heart who is scared by social media.)

[inkzectz]

Normal video game characters! Not sentient at all

[dylbennet]

dylan chillin moments

[cyber333angel]

thinking abt ice play with sevika, sitting on her muscular thighs whilst she gambles and takes swigs of her glass of whiskey.. her hand resting on your back as you watch your girlfriend play with the same expertise that she always has, playing while answering all your little questions that you have a about this game that you just don’t understand. your even in the middle of asking her one when sevika picks up her glass to take a drink, the leftover ice cube sucked in between her lips as she moves her hand from your back to your neck, putting her cold lips onto the skin of your throat. it makes you jolt in her lap as you try to squirm, sevikas grip holding you so harshly that you can’t move from the sudden sensation. your embarrassed of course, she’s quite literally making out with your throat at the moment and in public. she drags it from the top of your chin alll the way down to your collar bones. the people she’s playing with trying to avoid eye contact of the lewd scene, making you somehow all the more wet in between your legs. already feeling sevikas hands slide up your thighs of the dress your wearing. “mm vika—your playing your game!” you say as your grip at her hand, trying to save at least some of your dignity from your shameless girlfriend. you could feel the cold smirk form on her face as she continues sucking and licking at your now cold neck, dark marks forming as your girlfriend latches off you to chew the almost dissolved ice. “don’t be a baby it was just a little kiss.” she says as she goes back to her game acting like she didn’t just work you uppp

[wojakgallery]

Title/Name: I Love Dr Pepper Wojak Series: Soyjak (Variants) Image submission by:  remornia - tirions.org on Tumblr Image by: Unknown Main Tag: Soyjak Wojak