#and Saturday I have a market and a class ugh

[theliteralmoon]

Gonna go ahead and complain here I am once again in over my head and so exhausted

[drunkjaked]

MARKETS ft park sunghoon

the joys of december: winter dates, hot chocolate, sunghoon's birthday, and shared showers /// 2274 words + smut (minors dni)

pairing: bf!sunghoon x fem!reader

the youngest of the 02z is 20 now :((( man.. happy birthday sunghoon.. so happy we get to be the same age until next saturday <333

The headboard is cold against Sunghoon’s back as he sits at the top of the bed, his fingers threading through your hair as he watches you fight sleep with your head in his lap. “I feel like we should leave soon, or at least start getting ready soon.” He announces, stretching an arm above his head. 

“I didn’t think you were being serious.” You mumble into his bare stomach. 

“Why would I joke about my birthday plans?” 

A sigh makes its way out of your mouth and he giggles at the feeling of your breath fanning his skin. “I’ve known you long enough to know that your ‘birthday plans’ are also your idea of hell.” 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, holding you tighter and pretending you’re incorrect. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” He lies through his teeth mutters. 

He knows as well as you do that going to the Christmas markets – on his birthday of all days – falls under laying naked on a hot grill on the list of things he wants to do.

Another thing he knows as well as you do, is that you’ve been dreaming of a Christmas markets date since he lent you his gloves on the walk home from class two winters ago as the two of you walked (the line between just friends and more than friends) by the entrance of the markets. 

You move your head to look up at him, locking eyes as you move from your position to sit in his lap instead, legs split over his in a straddle. “I can just go with one of the girls another day,” you shrug. “Today’s about you, so tell me what you want to do today.” 

His plump lips press together into a straight line as he thinks, brows furrowing in the centre. And after a moment he hums. “I got it!” He pauses for a second, taking the time to press a kiss to your mouth. Lets his tongue trace the seam of your lips an-d it’s so easy to get distracted by him. Too easy. 

To the point that you don’t even realise what he’s trying to do until he rolls his hips against yours, his clothed cock pressing on your core. If it wasn’t for how rough he’d been with you last night, you might not have whined before lifting your hips off of him. But he was rough with you last night, and you still have the overly sensitive, swollen pussy to show for it, so you do. 

“I’m not accepting making out as an answer.” You mumble against his lips, stomach leaping when you feel him smiling into the kiss.

“Will you accept fucking against the mirror?” 

With a sigh, you sit in his lap once more (careful to steer clear of the bulge in his pants) and smack him lightly in the chest, a grin ruining the fake irritation on your face as he pulls air through his teeth, scrunching up his nose while bringing his hand to the spot you hit. 

“Ahhhhhhoooowwwwwwwwwwwwuhhhhhh.” He groans. “It hurts.” Lips curving downwards into a frown. 

“What are we doing today?” 

“Can’t.. speak.. too much.. ugh, too much pain.” 

“Sunghoon.”

“B-” he ‘struggles’ to get the word out, sighing dramatically. “-baby?” 

“What are we doing today?” 

“Need a kiss, I’m.. d- dying..” He trails off, head falling limp at his neck. 

The freshly twenty year old man in front of you is committed to his role, not moving until you kiss him better and as soon as your lips touch his chest his whole body jolts under you. “You’re incredible,” he grins. “You just saved my life, I .. I love you.”  

“Hoon, come on, what do you wanna do today?” 

“Ouch.” He scoffs, squinting his eyes at you briefly before speaking again. “I wanna take my girl to the markets, share an overpriced hot chocolate, and ruin her photos all day.” 

“Poor girl.”

-Unfortunately, you are the girl in question and after spending ten minutes trying to convince you to wear more layers, Sunghoon makes good on all of his promises and even sprinkles a few extras in the mix.

Like actually showing his pretty smile for some of the pictures, pretending to enjoy mulled wine, sitting still in the Ferris wheel and letting you cuddle into him, and, your favourite of them all, teaching you to skate. 

Or rather, holding your hand and not taking off across the packed rink every time you almost fell on your ass. Which was a lot of times. He even agreed to walk around until almost closing time when the rink was practically empty so you could watch him glide and twirl and leap across the ice with more balance and stability than he maintains when he walks.

The tiny smile on his face as he moved over the rink made your heart flip in your chest and you couldn’t hide your misery when the definitely underpaid teenage rink worker smacked her gum uninterestedly and told you that you had to leave. 

When you get back home, a mildly tired, and very cold, Sunghoon follows you to the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe as he watches you undress. In an order he finds unusual, your tights come off first followed by your skirt, all with your scarf still wrapped around your neck and your (his) jacket zipped up to the top. 

He doesn’t find it in him to complain when you (intentionally) turn around and bend over to pick the clothes up from the floor, your ass in full display – the sight barely obstructed by the tiny white thong he’d picked out for you to wear. Though it’s not long before that comes off too. 

“Oh, do you wanna shower first or should I?” You ask him as you start pulling your sweater off. 

His fingers are cold on your waist when he touches you, his free hand coming up to help you remove it. “Together.” He mumbles, pressing his lips to yours. “Please.” 

“Lead the way.” You barely manage to finish the sentence before Sunghoon lifts you off the floor, your legs wrapping around his waist as he walks you to the bathroom. 

From behind the shower’s glass you watch as he strips off at a maddening pace, the water heating up gradually as it hits the skin of your back, your nose scrunching up when it gets slightly hotter than what’s comfortable and Sunghoon laughs at the way you flinch before reaching to turn the temperature down.

At long last, he’s standing behind you with his chest pressed against your back, his hand resting on your hip as you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. Fingers sliding up to your waist, other hand coming from the opposite side. 

“Happy birthday, Hoon.” You whisper, head tipping back to rest against him at the feeling of his hand dipping between your thighs, bumping at your clit almost immediately. 

Thanks, love, he smiles (though his words get lost in the sounds of the room). 

“DId you get everything on your list?” 

Sunghoon’s cock twitches between your bodies at the implication behind your words, his hips grinding against you as he rubs at your slit. “Mm,” he hums, using two fingers to push you open. “Got everything I want right here.” 

You can’t tell if your stomach flips here because of your boyfriend’s sweet side making an appearance or because one of his thick digits presses down on your clit right when he speaks, though you know deep down it’s some combination of both.  

He pushes a third finger into your hole though he’s clearly impatient because he only curls them towards your belly button once, twi—There, oh my-Hoon!—ce and a third time before taking them out entirely. His hand is large on your back as he bends you over, mumbling an apology when you complain about the feeling of water in your eyes. 

And steering clear of the stream when he leans down to leave a kiss on your shoulder and then your neck. “Sorry, baby, really.” He tells you while you try to ignore the fact that you can hear the smile in his voice, his attempts at keeping his laughter to himself are futile as he chuckles a little next to your ear. 

The shower wall is freezing your nipples, your entire chest and cheek as you arch your back, pushing towards him as best you can. “So pretty.” He groans, more to himself as he lets his palm come down hard on your ass, holding it in his hand before using his thumb to trail the length of your pussy.

Starting at your clit and dragging upwards so slowly you can’t help but whine, a sigh of relief slipping out at the feeling of his finger dipping into you, and another whine comes out when he removes it. 

Thick and dripping wet, the head of his cock splits you apart with ease, both of you moaning in unison at the feeling of your walls wrapped around him, and the water beating against your skin only adds to the sensation; Sunghoon’s fingers push bruises into your hips as he thrusts in, and out, an-holy fuck, he groans. 

As good as it all feels, admittedly the water is a little distracting and with the way your knees start to buckle he can’t help but wonder if this is more of a saf–“Right there.”–ety hazard than anything else. Yeah, the water is super distracting as it slips, and puddles against the skin of your arched back and why has it taken him so long to have you like this? 

Your voice slices through his thoughts as your knees buckle once more and you belatedly react. “I’m gonna–” you try, cutting yourself off with a moan “–fall.” 

“You know I won’t let that happen, baby.” He mumbles, chuckling to himself at the way you whine when he pulls out of you. “Turn around.” He tells you, smiling when you obey. 

Sunghoon waits a beat, staring down at you with hearts in his eyes — trailing the span of your body, stuck on the way your chest heaves as you catch your breath, the water inching down to your perfect tits, slipping over your pretty, pebbled nipples.

His mouth goes dry for a moment, his cock painfully hard at the sight of you and as much as he wishes he could watch you forever he simply does not have the patience; as if drawn by a magnet, his hands find the curve of your ass, grabbing at it before uttering the word up and lifting you from the shower floor.

Even if you’d tried, you wouldn’t have been able to stop the moan that falls from your lips at the way his cock slips back into you like it was made to be there, your legs wrapped around his waist and your head falling into the crook of his neck — ruined (as always) by the feeling of being held up like this while he rolls his hips against yours, the water inching up towards your neck as Sunghoon steps closer and closer to the stream.

The first time your hole clenches around him, it happens so quickly and it’s so slight that he can barely tell if it happened or if he’s reached arousal to the point of delusi–Ohhh, my God, the second time it catches him so off guard that he almost chokes from the gasp that escapes him. And the third time might be the tightest he’s ever felt you as your walls stutter a little before holding onto him and milking him dry – rendering him completely speechless as he spills into you, filling you up just the way you like.

Everything is hot (including Sunghoon) when he cums in you, every single inch of your body feels like it's been set alight as you feel the familiar heat burning relentlessly in your stomach. Your toes start to curl behind his back and it’s getting more and more difficult to keep your eyes open as he rocks into you even faster, harder than before. 

The sound of you reaching your high, and your boyfriend trying to come down from his mixed with the steady rhythm of the water and the sound of his balls smacking your skin is a bit too much to bear. A choked sob bursts from your lips when his hand reaches between your bodies, his thumb attaching itself to your clit and pushing you right over the edge and into your orgasm. 

He holds your writhing body in his arms, trying desperately not to let the feeling of your walls fluttering around his cock as you cum all over him force him to cum again and he finds himself almost glad when you beg him to slow down, to stop, it’s too much. 

Lifting you up just enough for him to slip out, he lets his lips find yours before taking a few steps forwards to place both of you directly under the shower head. The stream coats you from head to toe as he kisses you, though you’re so breathless that you pull away almost immediately.

And your lips quirk up at the corners at the sight of Sunghoon trying to chase your kiss, his own mouth pushed into a pout when he fails to do so. “You’re so beautiful.” You tell him, struggling to keep the grin off your face.

His plump lips part to wrap around a breathy laugh, his head cocking to the side. “Are you just now noticing?”

©drunkjaked (2022) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED,

perm taglist: @chaersworld @5xiang @sunghoonmybeloved @yunskies

masterlist | other sunghoon fics

thank you so much for reading !!! i hope you guys enjoyed my last fic of the year, looking forward to the year ahead.. all my love and happy birthday once more to sweet sweet sunghoon <333

[reikoackerman]

Reiii! I love you for creating Self-Ship Sunday! Ugh writing these answers had me in the best mood all day! Thank you 🥲

1. Who wakes up first, you or Erwin?

-> He does. He’s just the best! He wakes up before me, and freshens up before waking me up with the sweetest kiss. It's annoying when he wakes up with the Sun on weekends too though. And he knows I like sleeping in. So, on weekends he just stays in bed and reads till I wake up and I get to cuddle up to him all morning!

2. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning?

-> Um. He does obviously. Have you seen his hair? That hairstyle takes much longer to create than you'd think. I tease him about being prim and proper all the time. He needs his hair to be set, his clothes to be creaseless and his shoes to be shiny. He sets out his clothes for the day on the previous night and spends a good amount of time steaming and ironing them. My mantra is to wake up and show up. We’re polar opposites that way!

3. What's a weekend with you and Erwin like?

-> Like I said, this man can’t stay asleep past 6:30 AM. When we were newly dating, the poor thing faced the demon residing inside this petite woman when he tried to wake me up early on a weekend - Hasn’t tried repeating it ever since. But he gets quite restless when he has nothing to do. So, I built him a mini library by our bed so that he can reach out and grab a book without having to get up.

We usually spend Saturdays outdoors; starting with a big brunch at our favorite café. We love visiting museums, art exhibits or a local farmer’s market. Sometimes we go kayaking out in the lake or hike through the trail nearby. We run some errands and then meet our friends (including you and Levi 😛) or family for dinner before calling it a day.

Sundays are lazy. We don’t leave the bed before noon. Once we do, we head straight to the kitchen to heat up leftovers from the previous night. He’s not much of a TV person, but I’ve gotten him into the habit of binge-watching anime with me in the afternoon. We spend the evening cooking dinner together and meal prepping for the coming week while listening to jazz. The best part is when he pulls me into a slow dance in our kitchen. And at night, after dinner, we love to take long, quiet walks by the lake.

And now, some questions for my fav couple (questions for both of you 😁)-

1. Is there a habit that your partner has that you find absolutely adorable?

2. What is your favorite dish that your partner cooks?

3. How dyu think your retired life would look when you’re finished with all your worldly responsibilities and finally retire?

Rei: Awww, Mia, you made it! Hehe, welcome to Levi and I's new place~

Levi: Tch. So you're the girl Erwin's gone bonkers over?

Rei: Levi, don't be mean. She's your best friend's partner, so shhh!

Rei: Oh my god Mia, Erwin's so sweet. He lets you sleep in? He stays in bed and read until you wake up??? That's so thoughtful of him!!!

Levi: You're making it sound like I force you to wake up early.

Rei: Pffft, you know I don't mean it, right? We both wake up at the same time anyway~ But for real!! Erwin's so sweet though!! I wonder what does he read to kill time while you are asleep? But I love how your weekends start late. Levi and I are such early risers lol. Our weekends are as packed as our weekdays.

Levi: Tch. I guess some habits never change.

Rei: Oh? You sound like you're speaking from experience.

Levi: Stupid blonde always takes hours to get ready. Imagine how long he hogs the showers every day. Thank heavens I'm an early riser. And thank goodness I no longer stay under one roof with him.

Rei: Putting those angsty feelings aside, Erwin sounds like a model student? I bet he was the class monitor when he was younger. Definitely part of the student council too.

Levi: He was. And a really annoying one too. Student council, top of the cohort, popular student, teacher's pet, blah blah blah.

Rei: Are you jealous?

Levi: Why should I be jealous?

Rei: Because... you're the opposite?

Levi: I was popular enough, you brat. You can ask Erwin. I wasn't as smart but I did well, at the very least.

Rei: I'm going to ask Aunty Kuchel for your report book and transcripts back when you were a student.

Levi: You little sh- no.

Rei: *sticks out tongue*

Rei: Wait whaatt?? You built him a mini library by the bedside??? Mia, I-I don't know man, Erwin is so lucky to have you in his life. That mini library idea is really cool.

Levi: I sense some hidden grievance there.

Rei: Nonsense. How can I have any unhappiness when I am with you? Anyway, stop distracting me, Levi!

Rei: But wait. We should have a sleep over. You. Me. Levi. Erwin. Or at the very least, we should go on occasional hikes together!!! Levi and I would love to bring our doggos along!!

Levi: I'm not hiking with Erwin around. He talks too much.

Rei: Levi... he's your best friend, why are you making it sound like you hate him? Mia, you need to get your man here soon.. lol they need to spend some quality bff time together.

Rei: But moving on!! Oh, I love the way you two spend the weekends!! It's so relaxing and chill. And I love the way you two slow dance to jazz in the kitchen, that's so romantic. Levi, learn from him, won't you?

Levi: Do I not serenade you into a dance?

Rei: I'm joking. Of course you do. We do that all the time too. Levi's a great dancer. His sense of rhythm is amazing. Took me only like... 10 minutes to teach him how to Waltz and he did it perfectly.

Levi: Tch. I'm a natural, and definitely better than Erwin.

Rei: And how do you know that?

Levi: Ask Erwin yourself.

Rei: And now, to answer your questions, Mia! Did you know, Levi has a cute habit of scrunching his nose when it's itchy? Usually we would scratch our nose when it's itchy right? But Levi scrunches his nose instead. He looks like one of our bunnies. So cute. Levi has a really cute sneeze too.

Levi: Oi. Stop using 'cute' to describe me.

Rei: But but but.. it is cute!!!! You are cu-

Levi: *squeezes Rei's cheeks mid-sentence* Shut it. Anyway. Silly girl here as a habit of folding chocolate wrappers into roses. Especially those from Ferrero Rocher. No fucking idea why she does it because it's so pointless, but I guess... it's adorable.

Rei: Moving on! Oh, I love this question. I'd like to think that I'm a good cook since I can cook both Asian and Western dishes hehe.

Levi: Meals with her are always good. I can't pinpoint an exact favourite. Maybe I'll choose one Asian dish and one Western dish. I need to think.

Rei: Then I'll go first! Levi is surprisingly good at making breakfast??? I don't know how to explain this. But, he makes really good breakfast! Like, I don't get it??? He makes me the perfect English Breakfast all the time. Oh, but disclaimer: my scrambled eggs and omelette are better than his, hehe.

Levi: Rei cooks really fantastic soups. Those you see served in ceramic pots. It's so flavourful and healthy. We don't even have to go to Chinese restaurants to drink them. What do you call them, double boiled soup?

Rei: Well, double boiling is just one of the many methods of preparing soup. I actually prefer using the slow cooker than double boiling it. But anyway! Levi loves drinking the ABC soup I cook - it's made with chicken, potatoes, carrots, and onions!

Levi: Oh and a Western dish? I'll go with French onion soup.

Rei: Another soup?

Levi: ... Any problem? I like soup.

Rei: Yes yes, point taken, Mr Levi Souperman...

Rei: Oh, what a question, Mia. We have... never thought of this...? Hmm.. I guess.. we would probably be enjoying our free time, watching our children and grandchildren grow?

Levi: That would make sense. We would be in our seventies and eighties, probably.

Rei: Maybe we could travel the world. You know, before walking becomes a problem.

Levi: I'll buy you a walking stick.

Rei: *giggles* I'll push your wheelchair, grandpa.

Levi: Why am I in a wheelchair?

Rei: Because you're older, so your legs are going to lose their function faster than me. And you have a bad knee and a once-broken ankle.

Levi: Tch, whatever. But there's something I would want to do. I want to... you know, maybe... ren- *inaudible*

Rei: Huh? Can't hear you.

Levi: I said, I want to renew our wedding vows. [Levi looks away with a blush on his face] Don't make me repeat myself.

Rei: *teary eyed* r-really? I would love that, Levi. [I took his hand in mine]

Levi: Yeah. And we'll be in our rocking chairs, hand in hand, watching our grandchildren play.

[A moment for the couple who can't stop staring at each other]

Rei: And when we die, our ghosts will roam around together too. Let's go haunt the descendants of our friends. We'll have them freak out and go screaming for Uncle Levi and Aunty Rei.

Levi: ...

[adenei]

Ch. 2 How to Win a Witch in 10 Days

AO3 | FFN

James rolls out of bed after the third snooze of his alarm clock. He knows exactly how long he can wait until he has to get out of bed so he won’t be late for work. Sometimes he misses living with Sirius and Remus, who used to help make sure he was up and at ‘em on time.

Stretching, James releases a groan as he goes to the bathroom and turns the water on for a shower. At least I’m not competing for hot water anymore. He steps into the scalding hot spray. He’s barely been living on his own for a month, and has to admit the perks certainly outweigh the drawbacks. Besides, they still work together for Alastor’s Ads, so it’s not like they never see each other.

After a quick lather and rinse, James steps out and towels off. He figures he has a good ten minutes to floo to the office. He’s pulling clothes out of his closet when Remus’s Patronus bursts through the window.

Get to the office. Now.

“Well, that doesn’t sound foreboding or anything,” he mutters to himself.

He quickly dresses and grabs his bag before heading to the fireplace. He’ll have to take a mid-morning break to get a bite to eat since the wolf interrupted his usual routine. Tossing the powder into the hearth, he steps in and transports himself to the office.

Sirius and Remus are waiting for him when he arrives, with looks of concern donning their faces.

“What’s got your wands in a twist this morning?” James assumes it’s not dire, and that Remus only sent the Patronus as a stern reminder for timeliness.

“It’s the Zabini Jewels pitch,” Sirius responds.

The name raises the hairs on the back of James’s neck.

“What about it?” he plays it cool.

The three men begin walking to James’s office, where Remus shuts the door after they all pile in.

“Well, the good news is that Moody liked your pitch,” Remus states, clearly easing James in as he begins.

Alastor Moody is the owner of Alastor’s Ads. After a mission with the Aurors put him out of commission, Moody opened an advertising business to do something with his settlement claim. He knew how corrupt the advertising business can be, so he set out to make the industry a little more honest, consequently weeding out the shadier businesses in the process. In the ten years since the company opened, it’s risen to the top spot of marketing in Magical England.

James’s position typically consists of wooing clients from magical games and sports and the food and spirits industry, but he’s recently begun dabbling in businesses outside his forte. Zabini’s is an up and coming jewelry shop with a lot of money backing its name. James submitted the proposal to Moody earlier that week, hoping to hear whether he would be the one to move forward with the pitch.

“Why do I sense there’s a but…” James trails off.

“Well…” Remus grimaces.

“Oh, come off it! If you’re not going to tell him, then I will!” Sirius interjects. “Moody’s given the pitch to my cousins!”

“No!” James bangs his fist on his desk, causing some of the hot young interns who are standing by the water cooler to jump and turn around.

James relaxes enough to flash a charming smile their way as he turns back to his best friends. “That was my proposal! I should be the one who meets with Zabini!”

“We know. But Moody said something about women ‘knowing and understanding’ the business more,” Remus attempts to calm James.

“That’s bullshit! Maybe they’re the ones who receive the jewelry, but blokes are the ones who buy it!”

“I know, mate.” Sirius throws his hands in the air, indicating he’s not the one James needs to argue with.

James is pissed. He’s worked too hard on this proposal for Moody to give the pitch to someone else. I’m not going down without a fight.

“Where are they?”

“They already left for a meeting at Witch Weekly.”

“Well, when are they meeting with Moody?”

“At Abbott's tonight,” Sirius answers automatically. Remus shoots him a look.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

James looks down at his desk. Memos are piling up from existing clients, but he can’t be arsed to worry about those right now. He needs to sign Zabini. It will be the breakthrough he needs to stand on his own in the business, and a way to finally prove to himself that he doesn't need to rely on his parent’s wealth.

A look of determination crosses his face. “I’m going to crash their meeting and sell my pitch.”

Sirius holds up his hand for a high five as Remus winces. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, James.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going down without a fight.”

James sits at a small cocktail table, sipping on a firewhisky at Abbott’s, a swanky magical speakeasy tucked away in the heart of Muggle London. The walls are painted an elegant navy blue that stands in stark contrast with the white marble floor, giving off an air of class and wealth that James has always refused to engage in. Gold trim lines the backlit shelves that house bottles upon bottles of expensive alcohol for the bar’s many eager patrons.

Business starts to pick up as the night drones on, and James can’t help but notice how many beautiful women are out on this fine Thursday night. If he didn’t have a pitch to snag, he might be on the prowl, looking for a good time. But he’s already limiting himself to one drink so he can keep his mind clear, but that’s not to say the alcohol isn’t tempting.

“Potter, what are you doing here?” Moody’s gruff voice can be heard from across the room.

James immediately stands up on his boss’s arrival. Ordinarily, he’d hold out his hand in greeting, but Moody’s always been a suspicious man, so he forgoes the gesture.

“I heard you accepted my proposal for Zabini’s Jewels.”

“Yes, and it’s my intention to give the pitch to Narcissa and Andromeda.”

“Why, sir?” James asks. He’s about to continue when another voice juts in.

“Why what?” Andromeda asks.

As if on cue, the Black sisters appear.

“What’s he doing here?” Narcissa quickly follows.

“It’d only be fair if the person who submitted the proposal has a hand in acquiring the pitch,” James says as suavely as he can, ignoring the ladies’ interjection.

“Ha!” Andromeda scoffs, “James couldn’t possibly know enough about what women like to know how to sell jewels.”

“Yes, I don’t think he’s ever had a proper girlfriend to buy jewelry for,” Narcissa adds with a smirk.

“Ah, but there’s the catch. You may think it’s all about what women want. But does a man consult his girl when he’s out to buy her a ring?” James doesn’t give either woman a chance to respond before he answers for them. “Exactly. You’re not just looking at it from the angle of ‘what a woman wants.’ One has to consider the man who’s shopping for his girl, and that is where I come in.”

Moody is listening raptly to James’s argument, which seems like a good sign. James notices Andromeda and Narcissa share a nervous glance, and he knows his ideas are being received better than the women assumed.

“Potter brings up a good point,” Moody says. “Every other advertising company always focuses on the woman, but this has potential.”

“Can’t you see it now? We’d include the women in the slogan, of course: ‘Zabini’s Jewels, where dreams come true.’” James lifts his hands to outline an imaginary sign that bears his ideas.

“Please, you’ve never been in a relationship long enough to even contemplate any of that!” Narcissa smacks her hand on the table in annoyance. “How do you know what it’s like shopping as a man in love? You’d be an imposter!”

“Am I really an imposter if I’m simply waiting for the right woman to come along?” James raises his eyebrows to match the smooth sound of his voice.

“Says the guy who’s only rival for the one-night stand trophy is Sirius,” Andromeda says.

To be honest, that jab hurts. For years, James has had the image of ‘womanizer’ placed on his head, even since his Hogwarts days. Sure, he’s a flirt, but he’s definitely not the type of bloke to bring home a different woman every night.

“That’s not entirely true and you know it. I have fun, but not that much fun.”

“Prove it, then,” Narcissa crosses her arms in front of her chest in indignation.

“How?”

“Prove you’re capable of a serious relationship. That you can win a witch over and make her fall in love with you. Unless you don’t think you can handle anything more than taking a woman to bed,” Andromeda goads.

James is never one to back down from a challenge, but he worries the girls are doing this to throw him off his agenda. “I would gladly accept if this had anything to do with the Zabini pitch, but—”

“That’s an interesting offer,” Moody’s gruff voice interjects. All three look at him. “If you’re this cutthroat about winning a jewelry pitch, let’s have some fun with it. We’ve been invited to attend a gala that Zabini is hosting a week from Saturday. Find a woman and bring her as your date. If you can make her fall in love with you, you get the pitch. If you fail, the ladies win.”

“But how will you know he’s not paying the girl to fake it?” Narcissa pouts.

“I always know the truth,” Moody says. His glass eye is twitching in all directions as he stares at James with his good one.

Now, this is an interesting turn of events. James contemplates what Moody’s said. There has to be an easier way to shed the girls off his client, but his mind is coming up empty.

You did say you’d do anything earlier, didn’t you?

Yeah, he supposes he did.

“Alright, deal.”

“But we get to pick your lucky lady!” Andromeda interjects.

“What? No! I didn’t agree to that.”

“Oh, come on, it has to be someone completely neutral. We can’t have you calling up a friend and faking it, now can we?” Narcissa reasons.

Ugh, fuck them.

“I’ll allow it,” Moody says, as the girls begin scanning the room.

“Hmm, Cissy, who should we choose?”

“I don’t know, Andie, there are so many people here tonight. It’s bound to be tough. What about that one over there in the neon yellow dress with the black platform shoes?”

James groans. This is going to be a disaster.

“Or the overly eager woman by the bar in the too-tight green dress, downing her third martini of the night.” Andromeda smirks.

“Come on, ladies, let’s try and be fair here.” James makes the request, even though he’s not convinced they’ll listen.

“What about—” Narcissa begins to point out another woman, whom James is sure would never work, when Andromeda cuts her off.

“I’ve found her.”

Narcissa turns her head on a swivel, looking around with increased interest. “Who?”

“There, on the other end of the bar. Long auburn hair in the little black dress. She’s sipping on a cosmo.”

No fucking way.

James follows Andromeda’s eyeline until it falls on a very gorgeous, very familiar face. Lily Evans. His former Gryffindor schoolmate and long-time crush.

At first, James’s mind is screaming an adamant NO. That ship sailed during seventh year when he finally gave up his pursuit of Lily and settled with sixth year Hufflepuff Bridgette Carmicheal instead. It wasn’t until the end of term that he overheard Lily insisting that whatever feelings she thought she might have for him were gone.

‘He chose Bridgette, Marls. I strung him along for too long, and I lost my chance. I’m over it.’

Those words still sting as they hover in the back of his mind. James recalls breaking up with Bridgette within the week, hopeful that it wasn’t too late. But then Bridgette had taken the break-up horribly, and he knew going for Lily the next day wasn’t a good idea. Then graduation came and went, and he hasn’t seen her since.

Seeing her standing there now, his heart leaps into his throat. She’s just as beautiful as ever, and all those feelings he thinks he’s finally gotten over are back, like a tornado completely upending his life. This could be his chance—their chance—to finally make a go of things. The thoughts begin whirring in his mind of ways to win her over.

“Done.”

Before James realizes what he’s doing, he’s standing up, and his feet are carrying him over to where she’s sipping on her drink. She doesn’t see him coming.

“Evans,” he croons as he sidles up next to her.

Her body stiffens when she hears his voice. James hasn’t thought what her reaction might be upon seeing him for the first time in years. Well, it’s too late to back out now. I’ve got a pitch to win and a second shot with the girl of my dreams.

She turns around after a moment, her face impassive, but not unwelcoming.

“Potter.” She’s eyeing him up and down. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah, since when? Graduation?”

“Something like that,” she shrugs nonchalantly.

“What brings you to Abbott’s?” James would rather know how often she comes here, but he keeps that question to himself.

“It’s been a long week, and I needed a night out. You?”

“Same.” James contemplates what’s made this week long, and is about to ask when Lily continues without prompting.

“Though I forget how stuffy this place can be,” Lily sighs, “Marlene and Alice convinced me to come, but I can’t say I’m having much success in tonight’s pursuits. And I’m starting to think they’ve ditched me. Though, I suppose all’s fair in love and war when you enter the dating game. Don’t you agree?”

Her comment almost throws James off as he looks down at the hand holding her cosmopolitan. He breathes a sigh of relief and thanks Merlin that there’s no ring on her finger. So, she’s looking for a good time tonight, is she? Well, I can certainly show her a good time—and then some—if she’ll let me.

“Couldn’t agree more,” he says in an attempt to continue engaging her in conversation.

She makes the effort to look around the room. Now is his chance to make a move.

“You hungry?”

Lily observes him carefully. James can tell she’s closed off and knows he needs to reassure her that it’s innocent, for now…

“C’mon, Evans, it’s just dinner. Catching up can’t hurt, can it?” He pauses for a moment before making the split-second decision to add, “I’ve missed you.”

It’s true. Standing here with Lily now, James wonders how he coped over the past three years. He thought he’s been managing just fine, but her presence brings back everything he’s so desperately missed about her. James doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until he sees her relax. Her eyebrows soften and the smallest smile plays at the corners of her lips.

She sets her almost empty glass down on the bar before sliding off her stool. “Well, Potter, how can I resist when you put it like that? Lead the way.”

James can’t help the grin that spreads on his face. He holds out his arm as Lily gingerly latches on. Her touch sends a tingle up his spine as they move toward the doors.

Before he forgets, James takes a quick glance back at Moody, Andromeda and Narcissa. He flashes a smirk that he hopes says ‘you’re going down’ before turning back to the beautiful woman on his arm. After ten years of pining, he’s finally got Lily Evans right where he’s always wanted her, and he’s determined not to ruin this second chance.

[rohad93]

Moonlit Masquerade: Ch 8

On Friday Amity is tired, but she relishes every minute she spends at school and not home, because the weekend was looking to be just as exhausting. 

Blue moon masquerades are a Blight family tradition, her parents have been throwing the parties for as long as she can remember and it’s a tradition that they begin throwing these parties at sixteen. With this being the first blue moon since the twins turned sixteen it's finally time for them to do it. 

Normally the two are all about parties, but considering all the rules and protocols their parents have set for the event, any enthusiasm the twins might have had is well and truly dead before the party planning even begins.  

Now it’s just one more thing expected of them and Amity can tell how much they hate it, so she tries to help them with the planning whenever she can.

Someday it will be her turn after all. 

She also still has yet to speak to Luz since Wednesday and she feels bad about it, but facing her is too hard right now, especially when the object of her affections seems to actively pushing her toward this secret admirer she has.

She clutches her book to her chest as she walks down Hexside’s quiet and deserted hallways. 

Maybe Luz is just a pipe-dream she needs to try and forget about. She was never going to have the courage to face her and tell her how she feels, and if Luz had any inclination toward her at all she wouldn’t be advocating so hard for a mysterious stranger. 

Her lips quiver and her eyes burn but she quickly shoves it down. She is not going to cry at school, she’s a Blight!

A mantra she uses to steel herself even as she hates it. 

She shakes her head and continues on toward her locker. 

When she stops to stand in front of it the creature looks annoyed and she realizes why when it opens its mouth unprompted and sticks out its tongue.

She's started to get a little more used to these surprises but the one waiting for her this morning makes her gasp. 

Sitting there on her locker's tongue is a small maroon colored velvet box she knows immediately is a jewelry box. A piece of folded paper sitting beneath it.

She hesitates a minute before picking up the box and the note. Curiosity gets the better of her and she opens the box before anything else and stares wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape.

Nestled within the satin lining is a brooch. 

Fine lines of gold shaped to look like thorned vines twist and loop in random but pleasing patterns, overlapping each other in places. At the center of the vines is a small tear-shaped gemstone in a gold setting. She's not sure what kind, but it's a deep fuchsia color that sparkles and gleams when it catches a stray beam of light from the hallways overhead lights. 

It's beautiful and Amity is in awe of it as she pulls it from its box with hesitant fingers and holds it gently in her hand. She runs her thumb over the hard and smooth facets of the stone, feeling the different, sharp cut sides press into the pad of her thumb. 

The metal is cool and hefty in her fingers and her heart thuds in her chest that someone would go through all this trouble for her.

It's a common misconception among the student body that Amity Blight must be beating suitors off with a staff, but the truth is no one had ever pursued her.

Her family was highly influential and well off, everyone assumed she was above them, unattainable; so they didn't try. Not that she’d done much to change that opinion. 

Of course, when it finally does happen she's head over heels for someone as unattainable as people think she is…

With gentle fingers she puts the jewelry back in its box and finally turns her attention to the piece of paper, unfolding it.

"Amity,

When I saw this in the market I could only think of you. I hope you like it. This is my final gift as your secret admirer.

Even if you can't return my feelings, would you dance with me tomorrow night?

I'll be wearing a black and purple horned demon mask.

~Your soon-to-be-not-so-secret Admirer 

Amity's heart is thumping loudly in her chest, the meaning of the letter is clear. Her secret admirer is going to be at the masquerade tomorrow night. 

She clutches the box in her hands and bites her lip.

Maybe… this was her chance to let go of Luz… 

Her heart aches at the thought, but her mind knows that it would be the better choice. 

Luz is human and while it's rather uncertain right now if she'll ever actually leave the Boiling Isles since the only known portal has been destroyed, Amity's parents would have an aneurysm if they were to ever find out she was in a romantic relationship with a human, the Owl Lady's apprentice no less. 

Despite that, if the opportunity presented itself Amity would still leap headfirst into it without any reservations.

She's never known anyone like Luz in all her life. The girl is kindness and sunshine incarnate, something exceedingly rare in a place like the Boiling Isles. 

She’s made her a better person in the time they’ve known each other. 

Looking back now she finds it hard to believe that she ever hated her.

She looks down at the maroon box in hand and frowns, chest tight. Conflicted emotions run rampant through her mind

For all the things she loves about Luz, of which there are many, she knows that she'll never have the courage to tell her so, and Luz has made it clear in just as many ways that she doesn't see Amity in the same light, and at the end of the day, all her longing and feelings are for not if Luz doesn't return them.

But here, in the palm of her hand, she has a chance at something that might be real and not just a flight of fantasy.  

She takes a deep breath and puts the box and note in her bag and heads to class.

She doesn't see Luz at lunch, for which she is grateful but disappointed. She sits with Willow and Gus when they wave her over.

"Hey, Amity, have you seen Luz today? We missed her this morning," the plant witch asks. Amity frowns.

"No, I haven't seen her all day." 

"She must not be at school today…" Willow frowns.

That's unusual, Luz loves school. Amity wonders if she's sick, but in the back of her mind, she wonders if Luz is avoiding her.

She looks down at her lunch and is suddenly not very hungry, but she stays and chats with Gus and Willow.

~ ~ 

Luz probably should have told her friends that she decided not to go to school today in order to have more time to get ready for Saturday night, but she’s on a deadline, there was no time to go to the school to tell Gus and Willow. She really needed to get a scroll. 

She only has one real problem left.

Hiding her ears.

If either of the Clawthorne sisters had magic it would be an easy thing to cast an illusion spell over her ears, but they don't; so it's not.

She's been leafing through Eda's various magic books, searching for a practical solution to her problem.

So far, no luck.

"Ugh!" Luz groans, shelving the books and stalking to her room, grumbling under her breath. "Why couldn't I have been born with a bile sac!?" she laments, dropping face down onto her sleeping bag.

She’s running out of time and unlike the way she handles most things, no plan, full steam ahead and flying by the seat of her pants, she needs to have this figured out before the party or everything was going to be for nothing! Now wasn’t the time to sharpen her improv skills. 

She has her clothes and her mask, they were easy. She was pretty pleased with herself on that front.

“Aghhhhh” she yells into the fabric before she ran out of air and was forced to flip over onto her back. 

Her time is ticking away and she can’t waste anymore with her frustrations. With a sigh, she hauled herself up and looked around her room, spotting the book about ancient, wild magic Amity had leant her and leaned over to grab it, dragging it into her lap and flipping it open.

She quickly leafs through page after page, hope waning as the minutes turn to hours and the next thing she knows the orange rays of the sunset are leaking through her window.

She sighed and twisted around, trying to relieve the pressure in her back from sitting hunched over the heavy tome for so long.

Maybe she could wear a hat, would it be okay to wear a hat?

She tiredly flips another page and scans it quickly as she reaches for the next but stops. 

In front of her are some illustrations of witches, but unlike other images in the book, these ones have what look like glyphs drawn on their skin; tattoos maybe?

Some of the book is written in a language she knows and some of it is not, and this section is, of course, not. 

But the longer she studies it the more an idea forms.

She sets the book aside and scrambles to her bag for a pen.

With one in hand she moves back over to the book The studies it again before laying her hand flat against its pages.

Steadily she draws the illusory glyph she'd been experimenting with across the back of her hand. She observes the final product and hesitates.

This could be dangerous.

She doesn’t allow the thought to take up much more than a few seconds of her time as she slaps her other hand over the glyph and willing it to do what she wants.

Her hand is enveloped in a light blue glow and when it fades her hand is tipped with long claws, the glyph still visible on the back of her hand. 

She flexes her hand tentatively and slowly a grin begins to split her face.

“It worked… It worked!” She jumps up with an excited whoop. She licks her thumb and rubs at the ink, as soon as the circle is broken the illusion fades with the same soft blue glow as before. She takes her pen and closes the circle back up and casts the spell again, and again, her hand transforms.

Giddy energy is filling her to near bursting as she shoots out of her room and runs into the bathroom.

It's an hour later that King is banging on the bathroom door.

“Other people live here and need the bathroom!” he squeals angrily, stomping his feet.

He almost falls over when the door suddenly swings open just as he’s pounding on it.

“Weh!” He stumbles, but catches himself and looks up, ready to lay his wrath upon whoever is hogging the bathroom but stops short at the sight in front of him.

“Well? What do you think?” Luz asks excitedly, but she doesn’t wait for his answer before bolting down the hall.

“Eda, EDA!” She calls pounding down the stairs and toward the kitchen, where she can hear someone moving around. Lilith looks up from her place on the couch as the girl passes and does a double take. 

“What?” Eda grumbles looking up from the large pot of potions she’s stirring. “Where’s the fir-” she trails off when she actually sees Luz.

She looks totally the same.

Except where once her ears were round, they are now pointed like any other witch on the Boiling Isles. 

“Wha-?” Eda looks at her wide eyed.

Lilith has followed into the kitchen to get a better look at the girl.

“Fascinating, how did you accomplish this?” She leans in close to get a better look. The illusion is seamless and if she didn’t know better she would have never guessed Luz wasn’t a witch.

“Well, you know that illusion glyph I taught you?” she asks and they nod. “Well, I was looking through this book Amity gave me and it showed wild witches with glyphs drawn on their bodies. So I figured I'd give it a shot!” she grins and reaches up to flick the tips of her now pointed ears. 

Eda walks over and turns her around, brushing Luz’s dark hair out of the way, she can see that  drawn on the back of both of Luz’s ears are small illusory glyphs. The older with grins.

“Kid, you’re brilliant.” She ruffled the girl's hair and Luz beamed. 

“Thanks, Eda.” 

“And think of the scams we could pull with this!” She grins and Lillith rolls her eyes.

Luz just chuckles, not even a little surprised.

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

Random Life Updates/Thoughts

helloooooooooooo humans

Got into Eugene last Saturday, my mom officially left yesterday morning (had to drive her to the airport at 3am yikes!), and the past 6 days have just been a blur of moving

I LOVE my apartment. It has a giant balcony area which is by far my favorite part and something I really prioritized when searching. Especially with working from home I really wanted a space of my own to get outside. I really was going into this place pretty blind, obvi I couldn’t tour it and I only had a few pics to go off of, no concept of sq footage or layout, but it really truly feels pretty perfect. Once I have everything together I’ll post some pics :) still waiting on furniture orders and random little things

My mom and I picked up a few lil plants since I have the space outside and they make me so happy??? We got basil and mint and I am planning to buy lettuce at the farmer’s market. And my mom got me lavender as a surprise ! Currently drinking water with lemon and my my basil in it now, so good

Have been being v chill on the running the past week. Last Wednesday aka a week ago was when I got my beloved parasites 🙃 which, up until monday when I started taking the oregano oil, made running SUPER painful since my stomach hurt so bad. Have been being gentle with myself and resting more on the formal movement, especially since my days have naturally been so full with moving activities (lugging heavy furniture up stairs is no easy task lemme tell ya). I had planned on running today but it was rainy and cozy and I was tired so I just did some strength training and yoga and it was nice! being less of a maniac and developing an ability to listen to my body is nice!

^^also re: worms, feeling totally normal now, apparently the oregano oil is truly the move! 

I honestly feel really, really good mentally. It sounds counterintuitive but I know it’s because I’ve been so busy. I literally have not had time to stress over the dumb shit my brain chooses to obsess over.

^I think this season of life is going to be really good for me. 

My roadtrip with my mom was really great. I love that I can say that. We have an extremely close relationship but we also very quickly end up screaming at eachother on any given day, conflicting personalities let’s say. So basically everyone who knows us was like ....you guys are gonna go on a 2 week roadtrip together are you nuts?? I firmly believed it would be fine because we have very similar travel styles which tends to be the main point of tension on any trip with other people and I was right! It was good! Honestly I think it was my fave cross country trip I’ve taken (I’ve driven coast to coast 5 times). I also think a big part of that was that I worked really hard to push away the intrusive thoughts about food and squash that anxiety and just be present and enjoy the trip which is something that has been SO hard the past few years especially. It makes me really hopeful for future travels. Also...our route was just so fking cool ugh

Have a lil over a week before orientation and 2 before classes start and I am soooooo glad I got here with time to spare because my days have been FULL and I still have a lot to accomplish, but starting to feel like things are semi under control

Today it was rainy and cozy, I just baked a loaf of pumpkin bread because I am willing it to be fall, I have leftover thai takeout from when my mom was here for dinner, I’m on my couch in sweatpants with a candle lit and ready to just CHILL the rest of the night and I am happy. Boy am I happy.

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

New Fic!!

Honey For The Bees

A gift fic for my dear @giishu ! Based on late night conversations about fancasts, post-Wayward Son Simon and Baz, bee necklaces, and communication issues. I promised you something like this a while ago, my friend—better late than never?

Summary: It's not been quite a year since their trip to America but Simon and Baz are in a much better place as far as things are concerned, particularly their relationship. A morning trip to the market sparks some good memories for Simon but inadvertently sets in motion some angsty thought spirals for Baz. A Saturday morning set in the spring after Wayward Son, with moments of misunderstanding, but far more capability to talk things out than they've ever had before.

Simon

I like to come down to the Spitalfields market on weekends. To grab fresh falafel wraps and Thai fruit tea for myself. Decadent donuts for Baz, what with that insatiable sweet tooth of his.

And I could use the exercise–it’s the first sunny day we’ve had in weeks and I don’t mind getting out of the flat for a bit.

Penny’s holed up in her room, cramming for finals. Said she’d been up all night but the pillowcase creases on her face argued against that, I’d say. She’s a bit wound up about it all. I’m glad she got some sleep.

I promised to bring her a chai if she spelled my wings away.

I’m only taking two classes this spring term, so I’m not as spun up as she is. I’ve stayed on top of my work. It helps having Baz come over to study at our place most nights. It’s distracting as hell but he’s such a swot he won’t actually let me get side-tracked. He raps on the table with a “ focus now, Simon, or we’ll be here all night” and puts his work aside to run through my lecture notes with me. Baz can make anything sound interesting.

Merlin, I love him.

I always know we’re done for the night when he raises that eyebrow of his and gives me one of those long, cool looks that does nothing but get me all hot and bothered (he knows it too, the insufferable prat), and then starts to put his laptop away. “Time for a break, Simon.”

That’s usually when Penny snorts and says something rude, if she’s at the kitchen table with us, then escapes to her room with an eye roll and a put-upon sigh. I’ve caught her winking at Baz as she goes though, so I know it’s all just for show.

I don’t let it get to me. I know she’s almost as happy to have him around as I am.

I don’t object to her hiding out in her room, mind you. Study breaks with Baz involve a lot of snogging and I’m not about to complain about that.

And lately, more often than not, they involve Baz spending the night.

In the months since we’ve been back from America we’ve been working up to it, little by little. Back to Baz spending the night. To me holding him in my arms as I fall asleep. To late night kisses and morning breath ones too. To the comforting sensation of his back against my chest and my arm wrapped around his waist, face buried in the silky waves of his hair.

My hand splayed over his chest, feeling the slow, steady thrum of his heart.

The slide of our mouths, the firm grip of his hands on my hips, those elegant fingers finding their way down . . . fuck, I can’t be thinking of that now. Not in the middle of a bloody Saturday morning market.

Baz spent the night at his place last night, working on a group project. Probably why I can’t keep my mind off the thought of him this morning.

I missed him.

I shake my head and shove my hands in my pockets. I’ve got to keep my wits about me. Donovan’s will run out of those Nutella donuts he’s so fond of, if I don’t hurry.

It’s when I’m leaving—my belly full of crusty falafel, Penny’s chai in one hand and the box of donuts in the other—that I see the little stall to the side. I’m not sure why I stop. I don’t usually look at much other than food, not unless Penny or Baz are with me.

But something’s caught my eye. The shape of the pendant hanging at eye level.

It’s a miniature bee, exquisitely crafted in a warm, gold-toned metal, wings caught midair. It makes me think of the fat bees on Baz’s shirt—the one he was wearing the first time I saw him wrap his mother’s scarf over his hair, when we were in America. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that sight, not even when I’m a cranky old codger in a care home.

I wish I had a photograph of it.

The pendant is small but surprisingly detailed, set on a chain that looks sturdy enough for the likes of me.

I don’t think about it much anymore, the cross I used to wear. It’s in a box, tucked away at the bottom of my dresser. Baz wouldn’t let me get rid of it. Said relics shouldn’t be binned. That’s not the real reason he wanted me to keep it around. I know I won’t ever need it, not with him. But if it makes him feel better knowing it’s there, I can live with that.

I touch a finger to the bee. The vendor eyes me, a questioning look on his face.

“How much?”

“Fifteen quid.”

That’s not bad. I can manage it.

Having only two classes leaves me with a fair bit of time on my hands. Baz signed me up for some sessions at this martial arts studio—it’s run by someone Fiona knows from her herbalist days, so they’re not so fussed about my dragon bits, so to speak. I took a few classes last term and now I help out there. Get paid for it too.

I tap the bee pendant, making it swing. Makes it almost seem as if it’s flying.

“I’ll take it.”

“You want it in a box, have it look nice?”

“No, I’ll just wear it.”

I put Penny’s chai and the donuts down at the edge of his display table and hand over the money. The chain’s long enough that I can slip it over my head and tuck it under my hoodie and shirt. The motion comes so naturally still, the almost-not-there weight of it on my chest deeply familiar.

My cross used to make me think of Baz. I’d think about why I was wearing it, think about him being a vampire, think about all the things that made me so obsessed with him, not understanding any of the impulses simmering beneath the surface.

This makes me think of the noonday sun glinting off those huge sunglasses of his, the tilt of his head as he adjusted that blue scarf, the smoothness of his shirt in my hands as I pressed him against the car.

Yeah, this is a hell of a lot better.

Penny’s taken over the entire coffee table when I get home, laptop in front of her as she leans against the sofa, books and notebooks and papers scattered around in piles.

Baz is curled up on the far end of the sofa, sock-clad feet just behind Penny, his laptop balanced on a cushion resting on his thighs.

He looks up when I walk in. Probably heard me scrabbling with my keys, what with those super senses of his.The smile that comes over his face is instant, lips curving up, eyes wide and happy.

Not guarded. Not questioning. Not even a glimmer of that wistfulness he’d try so hard to hide. Fuck, it’s good to see that. Just reminds me again how far we’ve come.

I bend down to press a kiss to Baz’s forehead, right on that aristocratic brow of his, as I walk by him on my way to the kitchen.

Yeah. I can do that now.

Baz’s eyes close and he leans into it every time. I love that even more.

I set Penny’s chai on the kitchen counter. There’s no safe space on the coffee table, not the way she’s got things piled everywhere.

I've just set the donuts on a plate when I feel Baz’s arms slide around my waist and the weight of his chin on my shoulder.

I lean back against his chest.

I can do this now too.

“You caught a whiff of the Nutella, didn’t you, you tosser. I was going to bring you a plate.”

Baz turns his head and brushes his lips over the edge of my hoodie, breathing his words into my skin. “I’d rather stay in here.”

I turn in his arms and then it’s him snogging me against the counter until Penny comes in search of her chai.

“Nicks and Slicks, how many times must I tell you two, not in the kitchen! You have plenty of places, not to mention a room of your own to defile, Simon.”

I attempt to disentangle myself from Baz’s embrace but he keeps his arm firmly wrapped around my waist, so I may as well just lean into him. “Why are you yelling at me, Pen? Baz is the one who followed me in here.”

“Traitor,” Baz says and slides his cool fingertips under my hoodie and shirt to pinch my waist.

I used to be sensitive about that too, but the martial arts sessions have me back into near fighting form again.

Baz has this way of running his hands along my sides. A way of resting his head on my belly and nuzzling his cheek against the roundness there that feels positively worshipful, so I can’t really let myself get fussed about it.

Well, I mean, I do get fussed about it, in a totally turned the fuck on kind of way.

Which I don’t need to be, in the middle of the kitchen, with Penny glaring at me.

I hold out the plate I’d put together before Baz distracted me. “Have a donut?”

She frowns.

“Go ahead and have one, Bunce. Simon doesn’t believe in defiling food--it’s far too wasteful.” Baz plucks a donut from the top of the pile. “They’re Donovan’s Nutella. It’s a crime to even profane them with your thoughts.”

It should be criminal to look so sexy eating a fucking donut. The way Baz licks that trace of filling from the corner of his mouth is positively pornographic.

Penny takes a donut and glares at me again. “Ugh, Simon, keep your eyes in your head.” She takes a bite, chews, swallows, and then apparently decides she’s not done giving me shit. “I never thought we’d find anything to divert your attention when there’s food around, but apparently I was wrong.”

She winks at Baz, which is completely unfair.

Because now he’s blushing a bit and blushing Baz is even harder to resist than Baz with chocolate hazelnut spread dotting his lips.

Except he’s just taken another bite of his donut, so now it’s both, and I can’t be faulted for leaning in to lick it off his lower lip which ends up with me giving him a bit of a chocolate laced snog.

“That’s it, I’m out,” Penny says, taking the rest of her donut and hightailing it out of the kitchen. “Refrain from doing unsanitary things on the counters!”

“Merlin, Penny!” I can feel my face heat up.

“Duly noted, Bunce.”

Baz rests his forehead against mine. I trace my finger down the buttons of his shirt, letting my hand rest against his stomach, gently rubbing circles there. I know he likes that.

“You are an absolute menace, Simon Snow. Seducing me in full view of Bunce, with donuts and chocolate kisses.”

I slip my fingers between the buttons of his shirt, his skin cool against them. He likes that too.

And I like that intake of breath that comes from him when I do.

“No one should be seducing a vampire in our kitchen!” Penny shouts from the other room. “Common decency in common spaces!”

“For Crowley’s sake,” Baz growls. He takes a step back and adjusts his shirt, face still a shade brighter than usual.

I did that. It’s a heady sensation every time. That he wants me and this is real.

That we’ve made it.

“Are you going to have a donut, or are these all for me?” Baz plucks another donut from the plate and proceeds to lick sugar from the top of it, just to drive me mad, the wanker.

“Dream on.” Two can play at this game and even though I had falafel at the market I can never say no to a donut.

Particularly when I can fuck with Baz while I eat it.

I stare right at him as I slowly lick at the sugar topping. His eyes widen. Good . I take a bite, chew it ever so slowly, swallow. His eyes immediately go to my throat before darting back up.

I hollow my cheeks as I suck some of the filling out.

“Fucking hell, Simon!” He’s on me, pulling me to him by my belt loops. He takes a bite of the bit of donut that’s nearest him, sugar crystals catching on his lips as he does and sending more of the filling my way.

And now we’re reenacting that scene from Lady and The Tramp with this fucking donut.

Read the rest here at Ao3!!

[dreamofstraykids]

Epidemic

Wow, it’s been a while since anything was posted on here. Sorry about the super long hiatus on Twisted Zoo, hit a big ole block on it. Here’s this as a thanks for your patience.

A special thanks to @virgolix for the inspiration from this post

and @yjeongins asked to be tagged in the story post

-Shai

The world had been facing this horror for weeks. Cases of mysterious deaths coming from all of the large world powers almost daily. A new drug had popped up, people swarmed toward it. It had been said to be safer than most of the drugs on the market but that was quickly proven wrong. The side effects were horrible, everyone who took it suffered but they were addicted after one dose. They couldn’t stop. The hallucinations they experienced were apparently worth the pain and confusion after the high. 

Minho was good at his job, just look at the camera and read what’s on the screen. Most of those words were written by him anyway. The last few weeks had been taking their toll on him though. Death after death after death and all getting closer and closer to home. No one seemed to be listening to him about the dangers of Colite. They just kept taking it and ignoring the possibility of death. The drug had been on the market for less than two months according to what he knew and had already claimed over 150 lives. He had a story on yet another body showing up in an odd location with large amounts of the drug in its system. Each time it seemed just a little closer to his country, to his home. He feared for his friends, his family, and the youth of his city who were the most at risk according to his reports. 

Another couple weeks go by and there’s a death in a small town near him. He worries there will be one nearer soon. He’s not ready to report a death to Colite so close to him, not with his friends being in the at risk age range, not with them being in college and going to parties often where they won’t be told what they’re taking.

Minho takes a deep breath when they go on a commercial break. The Colite death story was next. He had put any warning he possibly could at the end, wanting to make sure anyone watching will never take the substance or if they were currently taking it then they would seek help. He’s very worried about the youth and doesn’t want them to hurt themselves, no matter how hopeless the state of the world seems. 

The camera director gives him the live countdown and he straightens his back and takes another deep breath. He watches the light on camera B go green and starts reading off his teleprompter.

“A young woman was found dead a mile outside of Swindon at 8:00 am this morning. Police suspect involvement of the mysterious drug, Colite, but cannot be sure until an autopsy is done. Authorities are advising citizens to take all precautions possible and to stay indoors after dark.” Minho does his best to keep emotion out of his voice as he speaks. He has to clear his throat between stories to keep it from cracking. This entire block was all about Colite and what was being found out about it. Connecting two deaths from the previous week to it and listing a few side effects that are now known.

~~

“Ugh, my head hurts,” Hyunjin says. He barely remembers much of the last couple weeks but whatever his friend had been giving him was certainly working for his migraine. Sure he found himself in strange places with his headache still there and out of breath like he had run to wherever he was. He always found his way home and asked his friend for more of that painkiller. He ignored the similarities to that new drug that was on the news, it was just a coincidence and he wasn’t experiencing hallucinations. He was still going to his classes for all he knew, he had notes in all his notebooks he didn’t remember taking and they seemed like gibberish to him but all his notes seem that way. He just takes the tablets from his friend and goes to bed listening to the reporter talk about another death. It was starting to get repetitive, boy died here girl found in a ditch there, none of them were here and that’s what mattered. Hyunjin had more to worry about than this Colite they keep talking about, tomorrow was Thursday, he had a test to get through with this headache.

Hyunjin woke up in his bathtub the next morning. He’s not sure how he got there or why he decided that was a good place to sleep, his body was sure protesting and his damn headache was still there.

He pulls himself out of the tub and goes to find his friend for more of that painkiller. He’s not sure what day it is anymore or what classes he’s supposed to go to. He’s not sure why he still has classes to go to, why he hasn’t just dropped out. He’s got a pretty nice apartment at the moment and a pretty good job, he thinks. He’s not sure if the apartment he’s in is actually his.

He gets the painkillers and heads out for the day, zoning out on the bus.

~~

It’s Saturday morning, Minho just got to work with his stories for the day, the first one saddens him the most. There had been another Colite incident, A young man only a couple years younger than him. He had been found under a bridge a couple days before. Luckily he had been found soon enough to be taken to the hospital and treated but the doctors weren’t hopeful about the treatments working. They hadn’t had a Colite case they could treat, they didn’t know how to treat it, they just pumped his stomach and did what they could to keep him alive while the Colite worked its way out of his system.

Minho sits in his chair and faces camera B waiting for his cue. The camera director counts him down and the light goes on. “Good morning, Roselake, I’m Lee Minho and this is your Morning Report. First up today, a young man was found unconscious in the Waskana District at approximately 9:00 pm Thursday evening. He was taken to Silver Lake Hospital shortly after being found and the medical staff are doing everything they can to treat him. The police are looking into a connection with the new drug, Colite, which may have been involved. Until a connection can be found, authorities are encouraging all citizens to check what medications they are taking, and to not take any medications they do not know the origin or name of. Immediate precautions are to be taken.” 

~~

Hyunjin is very confused when he wakes up in a hospital. He looks around trying to find something that would tell him where he is exactly. The curtains were closed and the room looked like any hospital room he had been in before, giving him no clue as to how far he was from home. He still had his damn headache, too, and for some reason he was starving.

He lays there for at least an hour, he thinks, before a nurse comes in. They check his vitals then ask how he’s feeling. He tells them about his headache then asks where he is. 

“Silver Lake Hospital? Why was I taken here?” He asks

“You were found under the hospital bridge, this was the closest hospital, Sir,” They reply.

“I-But I live on the other side of town, how did I get under the Silver Lake Hospital Bridge? I was in class!”

“Sir, calm down, a friend of yours has come to identify you and has informed your family and professors. We’re keeping you here until we are sure you are fine, but we found traces of Colite in your system.”

“Colite? I never took Co-that motherfucker.” 

~~

“Good morning, Roselake, I’m Lee Minho and this is your Morning Report. Hwang Hyunjin, the young man found unconscious last Thursday has woken up and is making a full recovery. Authorities are still urging everyone to be very vigilant about the medications they are taking and to report any odd behavior to the police or to call local hospitals if you see someone that is wandering or seems to be having hallucinations. Because of Mister Hwang’s recovery they now have hope that Colite can be eradicated. More young people have been found in similar states to him and have been taken to hospitals for similar treatments. They are expected to make full recoveries and return to their friends and families within the week.”

[staytheb]

Like Oh 2.0 - Black Day

Previous Chapter: #KINGJACKSONDAY Word Count: 3,956 Summary: It’s Singles’ Day in South Korea and the girls are hanging out without anyone to bother them.

Like Oh 2.0 masterlist

the 9th chapter is here. more fillers and story and character build-up and development. well, i think it’s better that way as it would make it better for future chapters. so yeah, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

"Food is served!" Melanie announced as she set the last plate of food onto the large cloth where the old coffee table used to be. "When are you going to get a new table, Serena?" Jasmine asked as she dug in first. "I dunno. Haven't really been looking." Serena answered as Jeannie looked at her. "Or is it because you don't really want to buy another one?" "That too." Serena chuckled. "We can go Saturday. We're all free." Melanie suggested. "I'll think about it. Let's just enjoy our Black Day." "Yeah." Jasmine agreed while lifting her cup of soju. "To another year of being single!" "To another year of being single!" The other three followed along as they clinked their cups together before downing the alcohol. "I still can't believe we ditched class to hang out for today although we did the same thing last year." Jeannie commented a moment later with a laugh.

"Today wouldn't be any different like what happened on Tuesday, anyways." Serena commented as her sister shot her a look. "You're supposed to tell me everything with Mark when you go to class." "I'll see him next Tuesday, maybe." Serena remarked before diverting the conversation elsewhere. "So what happened, Jasmine?" "What happened what?" Jasmine looked at the older womanin confusion. "I thought you were going to spend Black Day with that guy who confessed to you on White Day?" "Oh, him. Yeah, no. We're done." "What happened with you and Seungmin?" Melanie asked looking towards Jeannie who just shook her head at not wanting to tell the story. "Let Jas tell you what happened." "Okay." Jasmine said as she placed her bowl down, but then had to shoo Biscuits away. "Biscuits, no."

The toy poodle whined for awhile, but back away when Serena made her a plate with smaller portion and out of the way of the other four and all the food. "Here, Biscuits. Go ahead, Jasmine." "Alright, well, Seungmin and I did go on a few dates, but then like he got possessive all of a sudden." Jasmine began to tell her story. "He even went around telling people that we were boyfriend and girlfriend and other guys to back off as I was with him. Like what the hell? It was so totally weird." "So what did you do?" Melanie asked as Jasmine sighed. "I told him I didn't want to see him anymore." "Did he take it well?" Serena asked this time as Jasmine shook her head. "No, he did not. The guy then went to spread rumors that we were gonna get engage and then marry each other after graduation." "Wow." "No way?" "Yeah, right? Ridiculous." Jeannie commented as Jasmine continued.

"Others believed him and others didn't, but I'm not gonna go around telling them what's true or not. If they wanna believe it, then let them believe. It's honestly so dumb." "Yeah, it is." "Forget about him." "It's whatever." Jasmine then looked at Serena. "What about you?" "What about me?" "Where's your lucky guy?" "I already told you guys. I'll feel sorry for the guy that ends up with me if I get with someone." Serena explained once again. "I don't like cuddling, all that skinship, doing all those couple stuff like interacting in that lovey-dovey manner, and I really like my alone time. Besides, I don't want to put that guy in that kind of position if he's with me where I can't show him all those affections and what not." "Bull." Melanie called out her sister's bluff. "You just don't want to give me nieces and nephews."

"Um, excuse you." Serena shot back while pointing at Biscuits who was now asleep on top of the couch after eating her meal. "She's kinda like your niece." "She doesn't count." Melanie answered with a raised eyebrow while Serena rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well Carson gave you a niece and a nephew and Cameron's going to give you twin nephews in a few months." "They're not even blood-related." Melanie countered as Serena shrugged. "True, but same difference." "Whatever." "Wait, Melanie, what about that Taesuk guy or was it the Kyungtae guy? What about them?" Jasmine asked. "Why not hook up with one of them." "Ugh. Don't mention Kyungtae. He's a creeper. I'll never date him." Melanie shivered. "He's the one that worked at Zion Market, right?" Serena asked as Melanie nodded her head.

"Yeah, did he think I was you?" "Big time." "What happened?" Jeannie asked as Serena explained. "He followed me asking why I wasn't answering him before he actually took a good look at me and apologized. He said that I look like someone he knew." "Well, you guys do look alike at a glance." Jeannie commented as the other pair of sisters roll their eyes. "Unlike you two who are twins." "Fraternal." The twins chorused. "Anyways, you didn't say anything about Taesuk. What about him?" Jasmine asked as Melanie shrugged. "I see him more as a brother, anyways." "Wow you already friend-zoned him?" "He really gives off that big brother type of feeling." "And he thought I was Melanie the other day, too." Serena rolled her eyes as Melanie laughed. "He told me about that where you tripped trying to run away when he called you 'Chaewon', right?"

"I just didn't want another Kyungtae scene okay." "Sounds about right." The younger trio commented as Serena rolled her eyes. "Whatever guys." "Wait, Melanie. Doesn't Taesuk know that you really know who Jeffrey is though?" Jasmine asked Melanie who shook her head. "No he doesn't. He still thinks that I think of JB as Jeffrey who's some random guy." "Wow, that's surprising." Jeannie laughed as she then looked at Serena with a sly look. "Speaking of JB or GOT7 for that matter, I noticed that you're hanging out more with Mark than your own bias." She then looked at Melanie with the same look. "And you're hanging out with JB more than your own bias, too." "Dude, that's true." Jasmine agreed with a chuckle. "Hanging out with your sister's bias instead of your own. How does that feel?" The other pair just shrugged as Melanie spoke up first. "I don't know except that JB looks way better in person than he does in all of the pictures and videos taken of him."

"Well, Mark seems slightly a little annoying than I thought he would be." Serena laughed. "Why?" The other three asked. "I don't know. He reminds me of the boys back home. Like if you're not close to them or whatever, they don't act like stupid little jerks and what not." "Oh, yeah, that. That's true." "Besides, he's always copying off of me." "Then what about the other three in English class?" Jasmine asked curiously. "Doesn't your friend, Ana, not know that you guys are friends?" "Not really." Melanie answered. "She's busy attending anything TVXQ, JYJ, SM-related and other groups she's in to while hanging out with her other English teacher buddies." "Hmm true." Serena agreed as she went back to talking about Jinyoung, Youngjae, and Yugyeom. "Anyways, we keep our knowing of one another on the down-low when we're in class. They also don't bother me as much as Mark does."

"Man, Serena, I wish you still taught someone from SM though. That would be great and I could have gotten signed merchandises and pictures, too." Jasmine whined with a pout. "Yeah, right. Almost all of them attend Korea Kent Foreign High in Kwangjin for their English skills." Serena told the younger woman. "From what I've seen on the wiki page for it." "Then go there and teach then." "Yeah, no. I'm not volunteering to teach again after this semester." "Why? Can't handle all the kids asking you questions?" Jeannie chuckled as Serena shook her head with a wry smile. "I hate talking to them." "Wow." "Hey," Melanie directed at her sister, "Did the GOT7 albums come in yet?" "Yeah, like three weeks ago." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I forgot." "Where are they?" "In my room."

Melanie went to fetch the packages as Jasmine took control of Serena's TV. "Hey, have you guys seen NCT U's music videos for The 7th Sense and Without U, yet?" "No. I haven't. Is it all of them or just a few members? I haven't kept up to date with SM." Serena asked as Jeannie answered. "A few of the members, but it has two sub-units for NCT U for some reason." "I don't know why either, but here. Watch The 7th Sense." Jasmine played the video just as Melanie returned with the large box. "Are you guys watching NCT U's music video?" "Yeah." "Ten has grown up a lot, Serena." "Who's Ten?" Serena asked confused upon hearing the name. "That Thai kid that you liked back in the day. He sang Justin Bieber's Baby song on that Star show." "You mean T-N-T?" "Yeah, but he goes by Ten now."

"Wait a minute. T-N-T is in S-M Entertainment now? Wow, I thought he was still a trainee for Starship as he was supposed to debut in Boyfriend, but then didn't because he didn't want to. He goes by Ten now, I wonder why." "Wait, you guys already knew of him before then?" Jeannie asked surprised. "Yeah. He was part of this Thai singing show called Teen Superstar. He was quite cute back then. I've been waiting for him to debut." "Well, he joined SM back in thousand and thirteen during SM's global audition in Thailand." Jasmine explained. "He actually wasn't a trainee for Starship. He refused." "How do you know?" "The fancafes." Jasmine smiled. "Well, at least he sounds fluid now when he raps in Korean. Before he had the potential, but was a bit choppy." Serena laughed. "Anyways, I'm still waiting for Johnny and Hansol to actually debut." Jasmine informed them. "They're like one of the longest trainees of SM."

When the music video ended Serena took the remote. "I know you're in your SM and NCT U mood, but let's watch this music video because I'm happy they're back and still around after another year." Serena then typed in HISTORY's Queen. "Who are they?" The twins asked as Melanie recognized the group's name. "Are they the one that sang that Die song." "Yeah, Might Just Die. That was released last year and they finally came back a few days ago." "I like how we spend our Black Day just watching K-Pop music videos." Jeannie laughed as the trio agreed. "Best way to passed time with no one to bother us." And when that video ended Jeannie took over. "I know this is like a few weeks old, but this is my jam and on constant replay since it came out." She entered OH MY GIRL's Liar Liar into the search bar. "I don't know the group that well, but it's so catchy."

"The coloring is so bright though." Jasmine commented as Serena agreed. "True, but it does have a catchy tune. I like it." "Is that Gongchan?" Melanie asked as the twins shrug. "Dunno." "I'm sure it's Gongchan." Serena laughed. "I think they were holding one of his official photocards, but I don't remember from which era. I'm sure they're from the same entertainment." "I see." Melanie took control of the remote next when Liar Liar ended. "My turn. This just came out today." She grinned as she inputted GOT7's Home Run and clicked on the practice video. "Is this one gonna be like Magnetic where they have a dance for it, but don't actually promote it unlike Gimme and Good Tonight where they did promote, but don't have an actual dance practice for it?" Jeannie asked as Serena remembered something. "I think it's the other title, so it should be a follow up one. Departure had a double title track or something."

"Dude, they look good in the baseball shirts." Jasmine complimented the boys. "And in jeans, too." "Ain't gonna lie, but JB looks hella fine with his hair like that and wearing the glasses." Melanie stated next with a laugh. "Mark doesn't look bad either although I can't really see since he and Jackson are wearing caps." Jeannie chuckled as Serena rolled her eyes. "Whatever guys. I'm watching the choreography and ignoring everything else." "You know you're checking them out, Serena." Jeannie teased as Serena smiled. "Maybe." The quartet continued to watch music videos and eat for the rest of the afternoon until Jasmine convinced them to go out and have fun for the night upon Ahri's request. "We didn't do anything last year. Let's just go and see how it is when singles all mingle together and just let loose." Jasmine grinned while wriggling her eyebrows. "It'll be a lot of fun."

~~~~~~~

The quartet were all dressed and ready to head out with Jasmine already opening the door and keys in hand with her red cardigan slightly off shoulder, but Serena decided otherwise as she lagged behind the others while tugging at the helm of her oversized longsleeve red shirt-like dress. "I'ma stay with Biscuits." "Serena. We're already dressed up and Biscuits will be fine for a few hours alone." Jeannie said while looking over at the older woman and adjusting her leopard print boots. "Ugh, you're always like this." Melanie grumbled a bit annoyed while adjusting her grey cardigan. "I just do, okay." "No way, Serena. We're dressed and we're gonna have fun tonight." Jasmine told her friend as she grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the apartment. "Now you have to come." Serena made a face as Jeannie slightly shouldered her playfully. "Don't worry, Serena. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself in no time." "Yeah, yeah, whatever." The four headed out into the late evening.

~~~~~~~

Serena and Melanie returned back to the Serena's apartment complex close to two in the morning. Jasmine still wanted to party with Ahri and Jeannie stayed to make sure her sister wouldn't get herself into too much trouble like last time and told the others that they would crash at Ahri's instead. So Serena and Melanie tiredly rode the elevator to the fifth floor and just wanted to crash into their own beds. At first they were just sight-seeing around Cheongdam and could do whatever around there when Jasmine suggested going to Itaewon a few minutes later. When they did arrive in Itaewon the quartet met up with Jasmine's friend, Ahri, who then suggested for all of them to go clubbing. Once there Jasmine had them take shots at any given moment while Ahri kept them at the dance floor to dance away the alcohol. It was tough, but the sisters were able to call it a night after a few hours of the night life.

"Melanie, I'm never clubbing with those two ever again. Actually, I'm just never clubbing again, period. Not my style." Serena groaned as she rubbed her temples as Melanie agreed. "Yeah. They're too much together." "Maybe, but I need water to wash out the taste of alcohol." "Water? More like food, Serena. I'm hungry." "You have the munchies." "Feels like it." "Let's go to Fairy Sweets right now. They're kitchen is still opened until six." "Really? Are you sure?" "Yeah, I always go there for my three AM craving of crispy chicken." "You would, but that sounds bomb right now." "I know. I always get two orders of that." "You would." When the lift arrived to the fifth floor Serena hit the button to take them back down to the lobby, but intercepted the door from closing again. "Ugh, wait. Gotta check on Biscuits, first."

Melanie waited by the elevator as Serena went to check on Biscuits. "Ugh, gotta change the pad." Serena groaned as she did so before cleaning up after the toy poodle and putting the leash on her. "C'mon, Biscuits, let's go." Melanie eyed the dog when she saw her coming with her sister. "Why are you bringing Biscuits?" "Just so she can walk around and not feel lonely either." Serena explained. "Besides, Chloe used to spoil her a lot and I have to make sure to show Biscuits some love." Serena and Biscuits entered the elevator as Melanie hit the lobby button. "Do you think they'll let animals in?" "Yeah. The owners and other workers bring in theirs from time to time." She then looked at the dog. "You're going to like them crispy chicken bites, Biscuits."

When the trio arrived to the lobby's floor they were greeted by seven figures. "Hi." They all greeted one another as the girls stepped out and the boys stepped in. "Where you going?" Jackson asked while leaning a hand against the door so that it wouldn't close on them as Melanie answered. "To eat." "Where?" "Fairy Sweets." "Can we come?" "No." Both sisters replied as they giggled away from the group. "I don't know if that was sarcasm or not." Jackson said as he looked at his fellow members. "I want to go." Yugyeom voiced out with an innocent expression. "A chocolate shake sounds good right now." "But they said no." Youngjae responded. "I still say we go." BamBam grinned. "It's not like we have any early schedules to attend to later today. "But sleep sounds amazing." Mark said as Jaebeom agreed. "Yeah, sleep would be nice." "Let's not bother them tonight." Jinyoung told his members. "Let's just go." Jackson declared. "I'm really thirsty."

~~~~~~~

The sisters were casually enjoying themselves in the furthest corner of the store with their food and drinks while Biscuits was happily snacking on some chicken bits underneath the table. Melanie was scrolling through her Facebook feed to catch up with family and friends back home. Serena was watching a music video when they heard several tables and chairs scrapping against the floor to be joined with theirs a moment later. "What are you watching, Jyongri noona?" Jackson asked Serena who had paused the video upon hearing the sudden noise. "David Oh's Where Did It All Go Wrong music video. So, um, why are you here?" The older woman's eyes scanned the other members. "Why are all of you here though?" "Jackson said he was thirsty." Mark answered with a small smile. "But he hasn't order anything yet." "I wanted to check in with these two first." Jackson countered as Melanie interjected. "It's like two in the morning. Don't you guys have a schedule later today?"

"No. Not until the late afternoon." Jaebeom answered with a tired smile. "So we're good to hang out for a bit." "Why is there so much of these?" BamBam commented as he ate a crispy chicken bite from one of the bags. "I don't know, but it's good and taste just like chicken." Youngjae said as he also ate a few more pieces. "It is chicken." The sisters replied in unison. "What's this flavor?" Yugyeom asked after drinking Melanie's drink that she had offered the younger male. "It's pistachio and almond." Melanie answered while taking a sip of her drink. "Why are you kids eating all of their food?" Jinyoung slightly scolded them. "If you're hungry, then go and buy your own." "It's fine," Serena assured the younger male. "They remind us of our brothers back home so it's all good. We ordered too much, anyways."

Mark looked at Serena puzzled. "I thought you said it was just you and Chaewon noona?" Melanie responded instead. "It is, but we also grew up with our neighbor's kids and so we just call them our brothers even though we're not the same race." "Oh." All seven let out when Biscuits leaned up to get Serena's attention. "Hmm?" She let out while petting the toy poodle's head. "You done? Alright, let's go." "Where are you going, noona?" Yugyeom asked once he noticed Serena standing up. "Gonna walk the night with Biscuits." "Can I come?" Youngjae asked hopefully as she looked at the male before shifting her gaze over to Jaebeom with a playful smile. "Ask your father." Everyone looked at her confused while Melanie rolled her eyes with a wry laugh. "You're stupid." "Hey, it's kind of true. Anyways, bye."

"Why're you always tryna leave whenever we come by, Jyongri noona?" Jackson asked with a slight pout. "What? No I don't, Jackson." Serena denied with a small grin. "You do it all the time noona." BamBam disagreed. "Since we all met." "Nah, it's not like that." Serena denied once again although she knew what they were saying was the truth. "I'm just busy and have other things to do. That's all." "Liar." Melanie muttered as Serena glared at her which Melanie just wriggled her eyebrows at her sister playfully. "Anyways," Melanie began as a small yawn escaped past her lips. "Let's call it a night. I'm tired and I want to sleep in my bed." She stood up and stretched her limbs. "But what about your food?" Jaebeom asked as he looked at the amount of food that was still on the table that girls barely put a dent in.

"Oh, you guys can have it." Melanie told him with a wave of her hand. "I'm sure you guys will finish it faster than us just taking it home to eat it later." "You're also like Jyongri noona, Chaewon noona." Jackson stated as Melanie looked at him confused. "No we're not." "Yeah huh." "How so?" "You also want to leave us whenever someone else leaves or something." "No, I don't. I actually don't mind hanging out with you guys." "Then why are you leaving?" "Because I want to sleep, Jackson." Melanie chuckled. "I swear Jackson, you're-" Melanie stopped as Jackson waited. "I'm what?" "Dumb." She admitted with a laugh as everyone busted out laughing except for Jackson. "I'm not dumb." "I know, I know. I didn't meant it like that." "Whatever, noona." "Don't be so salty, Jackson." "I'm not."

"Whatever." Melanie dismissed the topic. "Anyways, since Serena already left I'm going, too." "What?" Everyone turned to where Serena had been standing with Biscuits and was no where in sight. "She leaves so quietly and like no one even noticed it." "Ha, she's like a ninja cat." Melanie told them as Mark tilted his head in confusion. "What's a ninja cat?" "Basically what Serena is as she's a mix of both. She walks quietly and you can't hear her footsteps, but when you do notice her presence you kind of get startled from it." "Oh." "Mmhmm. It's what we call her." Melanie looked about at the boys. "Okay, so I'm gonna go and you guys can do you." "Like chill at your place?" BamBam asked with a smile as Melanie shook her head "No. I mean you guys can stay here and chill or go back to your own place." "But you said we can do whatever we want and we wanna hang out with y'all."

"Yeah, no." Melanie clarified as BamBam made a face. "We're already sorry about the table though." Melanie chuckled. "It's not like that, Bam. Unnie and I are gonna passed out when we get home. There's no point in having you guys over to stay up even more later than you need to when you have stuff to do." "Chaewon noona's right guys." Jinyoung agreed. "We need to get home, shower, change, and sleep as much as we can before our schedules." "Alright, then let's just head back home together." Jaebeom ordered as he stood up with the rest of the members in tow. "We're headed in the same direction anyways." "Fine." The younger ones grumbled as Melanie chuckle while muttering to herself as they trudged out of Fairy Sweets Tea Express after taking the food to go. "These kids. What a clingy bunch."

[sky-casino]

Morning After

This is my first time to post a fic in bullet form/style lol. This plot was just an idea that popped up in my head months ago and I went with it and wrote it in bullet format because I’ve been so busy with work and this was the fastest and most convenient way of writing it lmao. 

So here’s fuckboi Jaehyun for y’all

Genre: Mild angst, fluff, implied smut Word Count: 2,306

You woke up and noticed that you're in an unfamiliar room.

You tried to remember what transpired last night as you slowly got up from the bed. You recalled that you were at a hotel where your best friend threw her birthday party.

As you were thinking, you saw a bare naked back right next to you. You gasped loudly but immediately covered your mouth in fear of waking up the guy.

You wrapped yourself in a blanket and walked around the bed nervously to see who you slept with the night before.

Your eyes widened to see that it was none other than Jeong Jaehyun.

You quickly but silently picked up your clothes from last night and hurried to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After 10 minutes, you opened the bathroom door in hopes of leaving Jaehyun as he continued to sleep. You didn't want him to see you.

Unfortunately for you, he was sitting up on the bed rubbing his right eye sleepily as the sun rays shone on his naked upper body. He was angelic.

"Y/N?"

"H-hi." You greeted him. His sleepy voice was the sexiest thing you've ever heard.

"Morning. Wanna have some breakfast?" He asked as he adjusted his eyes with the sunlight.

Now, you're pretty sure that boys don't usually invite the girl they just had a one-night-stand with to breakfast. From what you know, the two parties just go their separate ways the morning after, not making a big deal out of what happened the night before.

"Uhm, sorry but I need to go now."

"Huh? But I'm hungry." Jaehyun insisted with pouty lips that shook your heart a little.

You opened your mouth to try to say something but he cut you off. "I see you've taken a shower already. Were you gonna leave me here all alone, sweetheart?" He asked with a smirk as he walked to you. Your heart beat thumping loudly with each of his steps.

"Let me wash up quickly then let's get some breakfast, okay? Promise you won't leave." He said as tucked some strands behind your left ear

"O-okay. Promise." You complied because how the hell could you say no to that handsome face and those cute dimples?

It only took 5 minutes for Jaehyun to finish. "Sorry to keep you waiting." He said as he quickly put on his shirt and pants. You took note of his cute Captain America boxers that you failed to notice last night.

"I.. I really appreciate the gesture, but I really need to go." You said, which surprised Jaehyun.

"I thought we already agreed that we will have breakfast together? Please. I'm starving. The breakfast buffet is just downstairs. 20 minutes tops then I'll drive you to wherever you want."

"Drive me? Oh, there's absolutely no need-"

Jaehyun got your bag from the spot right next to you in a snap.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll take your bag as my hostage so you can stop trying to get away from me." He smirked.

"Fine. Let's do what you want." You replied in a tone of defeat and annoyance.

Looking at the breakfast buffet options made you realize that you were starving as well.

You and Jaehyun picked the same dishes: sausage, ham, eggs, hash brown, cereals, and fruits.

"So why were you in such a hurry to go home?"

"I have.. some homework."

"You're a bad liar."

"Excuse me?" You asked as you put down your fork, staring intently at Jaehyun.

"You have the same classes with Winwin and I asked him last night if he had any homework this weekend and he said none." Jaehyun crossed his arms and leaned forward on the table, decreasing the gap between you. He flashed the same smirk he's been showing you all morning.

"You're nice but you get pretty cocky." You retorted as you threw the napkin on the table, standing up to leave.

"Okay, wait. I'm sorry." Jaehyun quickly grabbed your left wrist to stop you from leaving. His hand felt warm and soft.

"I'm sorry. My bad." He said with pleading eyes.

You calmed yourself down and sat back down and continued eating.

The rest of the meal was spent in silence.

You were now on the passenger's seat of Jaehyun's car.

"Do you regret it?"

"Sorry what?"

"What we did last night. Do you regret it?" Jaehyun asked seriously, not looking at you and just focusing on the road ahead of him.

You looked at him for half a minute, not knowing what to say.

"No. I.. I'm just surprised and disappointed with myself because I don't usually sleep with just anyone. I don't do that kind of thing. Last night was actually my first time to sleep with someone I'm not in a relationship with." You replied with a voice so weak it was almost a whisper.

"So I'm 'just anyone'." He chuckled.

"No! That's not what I meant."

"I'm just kidding. I understand."

Awkward silence.

"So you do regret it." Jaehyun's voice faltered but he was still smiling. "You were amazing last night, though." He complimented you.

"Oh my god, shut up." You hissed and covered your face out of embarrassment.

"Aww but it's true. You're so cute when you're flustered." Jaehyun chuckled. "Anyway, I don't wanna go home yet. I'm in the mood to roam around and do some shopping and I want you to come with me. My treat. You won't have to spend a single cent." Jaehyun said, smiling adorably at you with the help of his dimples.

"Alright. This is my first non-hectic Saturday in a while. I wanna have some fun."

"Sounds great."

"But first, can we go straight to the department store? I don't feel so nice wearing this sweaty dress from last night."

"Sure. I'm thinking of getting fresh clothes too."

You were supposed to go to the nearest mall but then you spotted a flea market along the way.

"Wanna go there? It looks fun." You proposed.

"Sure." Jaehyun replied as he slowly parked the car near the market.

The market had stalls for clothes, sunglasses, food, drinks, CDs and vinyl records, and artsy stuff. It was heaven.

Jaehyun was already wearing a new shirt while you were still looking at some clothes. Jaehyun suddenly asked you to try on a crop top and a pair of shorts that he picked for you.

"I think these will look good on you. Try them on and let me see."

"And why would I do that?" You protested, trying to mask your reddening cheeks that were caused by the thought of Jaehyun checking you out.

"Because I'm gonna pay for these?"

"I can pay for these myself."

"Yeah but then I have your purse, remember?" Jaehyun retorted as he playfully dangled your purse with a smirk.

"Ugh, fine." You grabbed the clothes from him.

After five minutes, you slowly set aside the curtain of the makeshift fitting room. You were very shy and couldn't look at Jaehyun in the eyes for more than a second, until he said, "You're so gorgeous."

"You're just saying that because you're the one who picked the clothes." You sassed, trying not to make a big deal out of his compliment. You reminded yourself that he's a fuckboy and he's usually like this with girls.

"Let's go and get those paid for."

Now that both of you were in fresh new clothes, you felt better and cleaner. You roamed around the entire flea market and after thirty minutes, decided to sit down under a tree while finishing your watermelon popsicles.

"God, it's so hot!" You exclaimed.

"Sorry." Jae smirked.

You scoffed before replying, "Don't worry, you're not to blame at all."

"For the record, I love how sassy you are."

"Yeah and for the record, you're not the only one who do."

Jaehyun's laugh was interrupted by your phone ringing. It was your friend who celebrated her birthday party last night at the hotel.

"Hey girl."

"Hey, Y/N! Oh my god, I was so worried about you! You suddenly disappeared last night! Where did you go?"

"I'm so sorry about that. I..." You tried to come up with an excuse and Jaehyun was listening.

"I got a little too drunk and decided to take a cab and go home. I wasn't feeling well." You lied and Jaehyun was surprised.

"But are you fine now? Where are you?"

"Yeah, I'm well now. I'm outside at the flea market."

"Are you with someone?"

"No, I'm alone." You lied as you looked at Jaehyun cautiously.

If Jaehyun was surprised by your first lie, he was disappointed and pissed now. He stood up and left you.

You ended your call with your friend abruptly to chase after Jaehyun.

"Hey! Wait!" You yelled as you reached him.

"What? You're alone, right?" He said before walking again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, you meant it. You lied not only once, but twice. You meant it." Jaehyun was obviously hurt and thinking about how he's been nothing but nice to you since last night, you couldn't help but feel guilt crawling in your skin.

"May I know why? I think I deserve to know why. Answer me." His voice was demanding and he took a step closer to you, making you feel extremely intimidated, borderline scared.

"You want the truth? Fine. Honestly, I don't want to be talked about by the entire school for being one of your victims, for being one of those girls who fell for you and slept with you for one night. I don't like gossips. I don't take part in spreading them and I don't want to be in them. I'm actually living a quiet and normal life. But getting involved with a fuckboy like you might change that and that's why I'm really disappointed with myse-"

"If I stop being a fuckboy, will it solve your problem? Our problem?"

It took you almost half a minute to answer Jaehyun because his question took you off guard.

"Come on, Jaehyun. I'm not a fool and we both know you're not gonna suddenly stop sleeping around with every girl you like just because of me."

"I can and I will."

"What?"

"Don't you get it? Like, really? You don't see it? Feel it?"

"What are you talking ab-"

"I like you! I like you, Y/N. My god, you're so dense!" Jaehyun literally yelled at you before covering his face with his hands, looking so embarrassed and exasperated you couldn't help but feel sorry for your own obliviousness.

"H-how do you expect me to know how you feel? We barely hang out! We have the same circle of friends and share one class but the only time we actually talk is when you ask for my notes."

"Well, I'm sorry that I was... too shy to approach you." Jaehyun stuttered as he looked away from you.

"You? The most popular fuckboy in campus, is too shy to approach someone?" You mocked.

"Yeah! And that's when I knew that I liked you. I.. I don't usually feel nervous or jittery when thinking about someone, let alone when trying to approach them. But then I found myself staring at you during class. And those notes? I don't really need them because my friends have their own that I can borrow. But I purposely borrow yours just so I can talk to you, even just for a minute."

You couldn't fully absorb what Jaehyun was rambling about.

"So if you were too shy to approach me, how did we end up sleeping together last night?"

"You really forgot everything, huh? Some guy was hitting on you while you were drunk and, not to to make it sound like I was your knight in shining armor, but I definitely was. I told him you were with me and that I'd knock him out if he continues pestering you."

"So you're saying you saved me?"

"Yep. And when we were left alone by the douchebag, you started.. flirting with me." Jaehyun said with a sheepish smirk.

"I.. what?!" You asked with wide eyes. "I don't believe you. Nope. I refuse." You crossed your arms.

"You can refuse all you want but I'll never forget it." This intrigued you more.

"Why? What.. what did I do, exactly?"

"You thanked me and got so close to my face while squishing my cheeks. Then you started praising my looks while holding my face with both of your hands, saying that I'm the most handsome guy you've ever seen and you love looking at my face every chance you get."

You still couldn't remember clearly but Jaehyun was indeed the most handsome guy you've ever laid eyes on, so you thought that what he's saying might be true.

"W-well..."

"You're not gonna deny it?" Jae asked excitedly.

"It's true that you're the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, yes. But the rest of the night is still a blur to me."

"Well, I can tell you all about it in detail. Or we can just do it again." He teased you.

"Stop that!" You smacked his arm.

"I'm just kidding!"

"Jokes are half-meant."

"Exactly. But in all seriousness Y/N, just tell me what I should do so you can give me a chance. I'm serious about this, about you."

"Did you really mean it when you said you'll stop being a fuckboy?"

"I do."

"Alright. Court me properly for three months. That means no sleeping around during that entire period. Are you up for it?"

"Honey, I haven't been sleeping around since I realized how I feel for you. And that's the past month and a half. Adding three more is not a problem." He smirked.

"Good. Now let's eat, I'm starving." You said as you pulled his hand.

[mercerislandbooks]

Girls With Bright Futures: A Conversation

You’ll be seeing a book on the Island Books new paperback fiction table February 2nd, if you haven’t already spied it on several most anticipated releases of 2021 lists, including Newsweek, Refinery29 and Popsugar. With an eye catching cover, a local setting and an instantly intriguing premise, Girls With Bright Futures is the book everyone is going to be talking about. Taking place in Seattle at the fictional Elliott Bay Academy, and told from three alternating points of view, we get an inside look into the cutthroat world of college admissions and the unrelenting pressure on both the kids applying for college and the parents trying to ensure their success.

I was hooked from the very first page, plunged into the high stakes of vying for the last early admission spot at Stanford, and thankful that my college application days are now in the distant past! Seattle residents and co-authors, Tracy Dobmeier and Wendy Katzman, were kind enough to answer a few of my questions about their book and the writing process. And be sure to check out the details for their book launch at Island Books at the end of the blog!

Welcome Tracy and Wendy! How did you two decide to write a book together?

We’ve been friends for more than 20 years. In fact, Wendy’s husband and Tracy first met when they were right out of college living in Washington, DC. We all ended up in Seattle in the mid-1990s and connected when our oldest kids were toddlers, and the two of us became instant friends. Over the years, we’ve supported each other through careers, motherhood, community volunteer work, and many life events—some wonderful, others terrifying. Throughout it all, we bonded over our deep reliance on humor and our tremendous mutual respect. It’s not an exaggeration to say that we always felt a collaboration on something was inevitable. But for years, the perfect idea eluded us. On long, angsty walks, we batted around book ideas (always non-fiction in those early days), business ideas, and even an idea for a board game. But at the bottom of it all was a desire to better understand the culture of motherhood today—all its rewards and privileges, and on the flip side, the judgment and toxic self-doubt that plague so many of us.

Finally, just when we were starting to launch our kids from the nest, we read two books that really set us off on this path, but for very different reasons. The first was Modern Romance which was a collaboration between the comedian Aziz Anzari and Eric Klinenberg, a sociologist from Columbia, in which they looked at how romance and courtship rituals have evolved over the last 100 years or so. Something about that the way that book took on a culturally relevant topic, combining humor and research really resonated with us and got us thinking about whether we could do something similar with modern motherhood and friendship. But we quickly realized we were neither stand-up comedians nor sociologists, so we were still casting about for an idea.

And then we read another amazing book—Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. We were so inspired. For years, we’d been telling our kids that it’s OK to try new stuff even if it means failing sometimes, and yet we’d been unwilling to take that kind of risk ourselves. And so we thought: If we were going to “go big” and really risk being vulnerable, what would we do? All of the sudden we realized we wanted to write fiction (and please believe us: writing a novel and sharing it with the world is an excruciating exercise in vulnerability!). We wanted to create something, to be free to dream up characters and stories and worlds. The only flaw in this plan was that neither of us had ever written a word of fiction. If only we could figure out how to write a novel, we believed our work ethic and willingness to hold ourselves accountable to each other would get us the rest of the way there. So what did we do? We kid you not...we pulled out our computers and googled: “How do you write a novel?” That was at the end of February, 2016—and the rest is history!

What was the inspiration for Girls With Bright Futures?

Because our book is launching in the wake of the Operation Varsity Blues college admissions scandal, most people assume that salacious news story was our inspiration, but that’s actually not the case. In fact, prior to Girls with Bright Futures, we had already written an entire manuscript featuring college admissions mania as a major theme, but that manuscript was submitted to publishers in 2018 without success. Forced to go back to the drawing board, we ultimately conceived of Girls with Bright Futures in late 2018 and had not only plotted out the entire book but had nearly completed our first draft when the scandal first broke in March 2019!

As far as why we chose this topic in particular, it's kind of a long story! But in a nutshell, when our older boys were in the midst of the college admissions process, each of our husbands suffered a life-threatening health crisis. Thankfully (knock on wood), our guys are alright, but it was such a bizarre coincidence that we both experienced such intense brushes with mortality during the high anxiety of the college admissions process—it felt like a sign we couldn’t ignore. Initially, our writing was more therapy than anything, enabling us to try to make sense of all our feelings. At the same time, we became fascinated by what seemed to be an increasingly competitive and anxiety provoking college admissions process for our kids. We wanted to explore the impacts of all this on families, friendships, students, and school communities.  

The pacing is so good in your narrative, what was your writing process like to make that happen?

Well first, thank you for saying that! We’re staring at each other over Zoom right now trying to remember how it all came together! Before we start writing, we work out every scene—e.g., whose point of view, where the scene starts and ends, and what we need to accomplish. Every scene has a specific purpose to keep the plot unfolding. In addition, we really wanted our story to illustrate and mirror the real-life phenomenon of how an anxiety-fueled action by one character can provoke escalating responses in others. Some of our pacing derives from this tension. Finally, we intentionally juxtaposed humorous or satirical scenes against more serious ones, and dialogue-heavy scenes with more expository-laden scenes. After all, variety is the spice of life (ugh—and cliches are the bane of a writer’s existence!).

How did you decide what kind of representation you wanted in your characters?

Our overarching goal was to write a compelling (even shocking!) fictional depiction of the toxicity of the college admissions process for parents, families, friendships, and communities. There were many different approaches we could have taken and we considered all of these, including race, ethnicity, and income/class. As two white women, we were conscious of not wanting to misappropriate any stories, but we did want to find a way to show how racism rears its head in this setting. We decided to make our three main characters white women of varying socioeconomic levels while incorporating plot twists (no spoilers here) and a whole roster of women whose races and ethnicities are intentionally ambiguous to expose some common racist assumptions in many high school communities. Telling this story through a lens of extreme income inequality allowed us to shine a light on the role of that particular trend as a major driver of anxiety and bad behavior in many school communities. Our hope is that we’ve constructed a story that will stimulate discussion on a range of social justice issues.

What was surprising to you about writing your first book?

Writing and publishing a book are two totally different endeavors. On the writing front, we had no idea how little time we’d spend actually writing our book versus planning it on the front end and revising/editing it on the back end. In terms of publishing, we were initially surprised to learn how much marketing is involved and that the majority of that marketing involves social media (even more so now because we’re launching in a pandemic). As neither of us were remotely active on social media before our publishing journey, we had to push ourselves to overcome our discomfort and there has also been a (very) steep learning curve (like what the heck is an Instagram story for and why do we have to do it?). We’ve been fortunate to have digital natives (i.e., our children) who owe us big-time for all the years we spent raising them. Check out our social media game on Instagram @katzndobs.

What are you working on now?

While we can no longer sit side-by-side at Tracy’s house, we’ve continued working together over Zoom. Our next novel isn’t a sequel to Girls with Bright Futures, but it’s set in a similar world with more parents behaving badly. That’s about all we can say right now!!

And last but not least, at Island Books the staff is always asked about what we’re reading. What are the two of you reading and recommending now?

Tracy: My favorite read over the holidays was The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, and I am currently reading Black Buck by Mateo Askaripour.

Wendy: Eliza Starts a Rumor by Jane Rosen was my favorite read over the holidays, and His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie is my current read.

Photo by  @KristenSycamorePhotography

Tracy and Wendy will be at Island Books on Saturday, February 6th from 10am to 2:30 pm for a Covid-era signing of Girls With Bright Futures. A free custom Hello Robin cookie is their special gift to you with purchase of their book, while supplies last! So put on your mask and stop by to support these lovely debut authors and their fantastic book. Hope to see you there! 

-- Lori

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 8-14

DAY EIGHT [JAN 8]

9:00 AM - Wake up still feeling full from yesterday’s black bean burgers. Make a chemex and start working. I have a performance evaluation today and as well as an after-work happy hour so I want to try to get everything done before the review and then workout after before HH.

10:30 AM - Eat a banana

12:30 PM - Have a short break before my performance review. Make a Greek-ish salad and drink a Seltzer before my quarterly performance review which I am slightly nervous for since I was very slow in both November & December.

3:00 PM - Performance review went well. No criticism from my boss, though I should’ve known. She is the most direct supervisor I’ve ever had so I always know where I stand. Eat some grapes. I’m not super sore today but there’s something in me that’s saying to take a breather from exercising today (probably my “reward” for a good performance review), so I slowly finish my work for today.

4:00 PM - My best friend (let’s call her T) from high school calls and we catch up for 45 minutes. Pour a mezcal soda while we chat. I let her go attend Happy Hour and realize this after work HH thing isn’t happening. Today is David Bowie’s bday and I get sentimental about the annual David Bowie Nights I would do with H (I never gave him a name in my last diary, but we’ve remained pals over the years and he will probably come up more this time around). I FaceTime H kinda drunkenly and he goes to the corner store and joins me with a bottle of wine. I pour a second mezcal soda. We chat until 7:45 and I lowkey make dinner towards the end.

8:00 PM - K and I eat veggie sandwiches with potatoes for dinner. He slinks off to work more and I facetime another friend, J to chat about H’s latest drama. 

10:00 PM - Go out on the couch to find K already falling asleep. I’m kind of drunk anyways and there’s no point staying up so we decide to turn in.

DAY EIGHT TOTAL: $0

DAY NINE

2:00 AM - Wake up sweating. This is my new hangover thing and has been happening throughout quar. Drink some water, turn on the fan, and stay up for an extra 30 minutes until I pass out again.

9:15 AM - Wake up feeling ok! Make a chemex and watch the latest episode of Dessert Person on YouTube.

10:30 AM - Get started on blog stuff for the day. I have a stacked list of stuff I want to shoot this weekend. I’m only one ingredient spread in before I start to feel light-headed from last night’s alcohol, so I break to make breakfast – tofu/egg scramble tacos with soyrizo. I still feel a little weird after so I drink a nuun and things start to improve.

3:30 PM - I shoot thousand island dressing, Russian dressing, cauliflower leek soup, and the first half of seitan corned beef. Tomorrow I’ll finish that, and shoot rubens, italian dressing and a greek salad. I don’t usually shoot 7 recipes in one weekend, but I’m very much out of content. 

4:30 PM - Finish shooting for the day and eat a small bowl of cauliflower leek soup. 

6:00 PM - Working out on the weekends is always hard because of lack of routine / structure, but I suck it up and do a barre live stream. Shower and watch the last of the Suns game and import photos. 

7:45 PM - Make veggie sandwiches with miso butter green beans for dinner. This is the last of our veggie sandwiches which is sad. I love them so much! Spend the rest of the evening with K. We watch part of the 76ers game where they only had 7 players, a few episodes of Letterkenny, and then I read Remain in Love while he played RocketLeague.

DAY NINE TOTAL: $0

DAY TEN

8:45 AM - Doomscroll in bed for a bit and finally make myself a chemex. Put on an old episode of The Challenge. Buy a very belated birthday present for a friend - mamafuku seasoned salts. $34.95

10:30 AM - Pump myself up for shooting for the rest of the day. I have to finish the seitan, then shoot a greek dressing, a greek salad, and reuben sandwiches. None of these things should take too long but I also shot all day yesterday so I’m dragging ass. 

3:15 PM - Finially finish! I ended up also taking a decent break to chat with my sister on the phone part way through. I think everything looks alright though. 

4:00 PM - Import photos, eat a cup of cauliflower leek soup with a La Croix, watch an episode of The Challenge, try to hype myself up to exercise but by the time I am ready to play DDR, K says we’ll be zooming with his parents in just a short while.

5:30 PM - Drink the last of the wine in the house – a true bummer – on zoom with K’s parents. Cook dinner after – reubens with miso butter broccoli with more La Croix. We watch some Letterkenney and then K plays RocketLeague while I read some Remain in Love / zone out on fone. 

9:00 PM - K finishes playing and I assume the DDR position. My tracking has already improved quite a bit since Tuesday. I play most of the tracks on standard and close my Apple Watch rings after 30 minutes. Rinse off, put the Challenge back on and edit photos of Russian Dressing. 

DAY TEN TOTAL: $34.95

DAY ELEVEN

8:30 AM - Ugh Monday. I actually have a lot to do already today. Make a chemex and do the dishes leftover from yesterday’s cooking adventures. Pure barre charge comes through. $15

9:45 AM - I have a giant stack of packages and mail in the house from the past few weeks. Open up one of them and it contains a phone case I bought from a “tech company” that is probably just a fancy version of Wish. Slap it on my phone. I honestly can’t believe I went over a month without a case without cracking anything. I’m amazing.

10:00 AM - Missed a call on Friday afternoon from an appraiser scheduler, so I call them back to get something on the calendar for next week after MLK day so I have the 3-day weekend to clean. Eat yogurt for breakfast.

12:00 PM - Make a greek salad for lunch with a La Croix. It’s really good but not very filling. I have a feeling today is going to have a heavy snack vibe.

2:00 PM - Eat a handful of pretzels. 

3:00 PM - Eat 2 clementines

4:00 PM - Eat a handful of tortilla chips. Start thinking about dinner. Don’t want to do reubens and burritos sound really nice so I start the process of making chile de arbol salsa and instant pot refried beans.

5:30 PM - Do a Pure Barre livestream. My focus is a little better than Saturday, so I’ll take it!

7:00 PM - Make rice on the stove while I clear some dishes and make burritos for din. Spend the rest of the eve watching random YouTube videos with K. He falls asleep at some point on and I turn on The Challenge. 

11:00 PM - Gently wake K up and we head to bed. Put on the Suns game from earlier and cuddle up. By the end of the first quarter, I’m asleep.

DAY ELEVEN TOTAL $15

DAY TWELVE

8:30 AM - Wake up to find a couple of weird charge notifications. One is from Instacart for the exact amount of my last order – a duplicate charge. And the other is an auto-ship from Thrive market but it was supposed to charge my mom. I text her to let her know she owes me $20. I won’t include either of these charges since I’ll get reimbursed / refunded. The autoship also reminds me to look at the account and cancel my next one with Thrive.

9:00 AM - Get the stuff sorted out with Instacart. They’re going to email my sister (we share this account) the deets and she’ll forward to me. Make a chemex and make my way through the stack of paper mail before starting my workday. One of them is a confirmation of my credit score – 749. Sign a bunch of papers and put them in a giant envelope to send back to the loan company.

10:00 AM - Eat plant yogurt for breakfast and try to focus on the outstanding tasks I have this AM which is surprisingly kind of a lot.

11:45 AM - H texts me saying he forgot his wallet to buy lunch and asks me to place an order at Chipotle that he can pick up. Always happy to help! Place the order online and it’s $10.43. He PayPals me $10 for the damage. $0.43

12:45 PM - Make a greek salad for lunch with a La Croix. This salad has like 5 calories since the dressing is oil-free and leaves me wanting more. 

1:00 PM - Eat a handful of mini pretzels. 

3:00 PM - Heat up a small bowl of cauliflower lentil soup. Officially done snacking until din.

5:15 PM - Done with workie. Make a nuun and do barre live stream. The class recording this time is actually “easy” which is nice – my body must be adjusting to the new moves. Make leftover bean cheeze and rice burritos for din.

7:00 PM - K and I watch King of the Hill for a bit and then he plays RocketLeague while I read some Remain in Love and then work on a post for Russian dressing. Watch some of the Challenge in the background.

DAY TWELVE TOTAL: $0.43

DAY THIRTEEN

8:30 AM - Good morning to me! See a charge come in from Blueland for soap & dishwasher tablets. Kind of a bummer because I don’t need them at all right now. Move my next delivery date to November 1 and put a note on my calendar a week before to check my stock. Note that the Instacart charge is gone. Hooray! Make a chemex, do the dishes and spray down the counters. $25.19

9:30 AM - Not sure what it is about today, but my calendar is clear and I know tomorrow is going to suck with meetings, so I really take my time and ease into the day. I don’t feel super confident posting the Russian dressing all over the interweb and would rather stage it as a thousand island vs Russian dressing kind of thing, so I just decide to post on Insta, Pinterest, and one Reddit forum before deciding that’s good enough. 

10:00 AM - Eat a yogurt. These Oui ones are really too sweet for me, but I’m at the mercy of whatever is on sale because honestly yogurt is a giant rip off. I should learn how to make my own.

12:30 PM - Make another greek salad with La Croix for lunch. Fully prepared to snack again since this guy is just not very filling. 

1:20 PM - Eat a handful of mini pretzels

2:30 PM - Eat a cup of cauliflower leek soup. I’m actually caught up on work for once which is nice. Looking forward to knocking out barre before 7 PM - hah. We’re still a week out from needing groceries, but it takes a while to plan/prep. With the appraisal on Tuesday, I know it’s not going to be a fun weekend so I start thinking about what I want to make for the rest of the month.

3:30 PM - Find a bougie polenta recipe I want to give a go as well as shoot oil-free instant pot refried beans and nacho cheese with potatoes and carrots. And use all of that to make sheet pan nachos. Should be a fun weekend of shooting there. Eat grapes. 

4:30 PM - I can’t hang with how hungry I am. Eat tortilla chips and salsa. Do a barre live stream and do a peloton 10 minute low impact ride. 

8:00 PM - K isn’t hungry for dinner so I heat up a Philly burrito and eat it with more tortilla chips and Sweedish Fish for “dessert.” I watch some of The Challenge and then K and I play Mario Kart and watch Letterkenny before turning in.

DAY THIRTEEN TOTAL: $25.19

DAY FOURTEEN

8:30 AM - I hate 9 AM meetings. Get my shit together enough to make a chemex before I have to be on the call.

10:00 AM - I can’t handle how many snacks I keep eating throughout the day. Toast a bagel for breakfast with Earth Balance, everything but the bagel seasoning, nooch, and salt. Eat some Sweedish Fish while I wait for the bagel to toast.

12:30 PM - Make the same greek salad with a lemon La Croix. I eat quickly as I have to present at 1 so I eat quickly in prep for that.

2:50 PM - It’s over! It went well and got good compliments on my presentation skills by all parties. AND I’m not starving. A win for all! I realize half the lights in my bedroom & bathroom are out which is a bad scene for appraisal. Buy some replacements on Amazon. $27.98

3:10 PM - Start building the grocery order for next Wednesday. I realize I’m doing this really far in advance, but I’m worried I won’t have the gusto for it this weekend. 

4:30 PM - Heat up a small cup of cauliflower leek soup for a snack. Debate to myself about whether or not I want to do barre and for whatever reason an hour of it sounds boring. DDR sounds fun though so I go for that instead. Get a good cal burn and even AA Kind Lady on Heavy. It’s coming back baby!

6:00 PM - Rinse off and make dinner – we’re doing Reubens tonight with roasted potatoes. Really really delicious dang. 

8:30 PM - Drink a yellow chartreuse with Lagunitas Hop Water and play Mario Kart with K. Then edit photos of cauliflower lentil soup for my blog.

DAY FOURTEEN TOTAL: $27.98

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season six, episode fifteen: jax taylor is an irredeemable demon who should be ashamed of himself

The episode opens at Sexy Unique Restaurant, where Sandoval’s arrived early to work on cocktails for TomTom! Both Lisa Vanderpump and I are shocked to learn that he’s a) arrived early anywhere and b) working on something he doesn’t have to be. I have the lowest image of all of the people starring on this show so expecting them ever to go above and beyond is a hard pill to swallow. I mean, I genuinely thought Tom&Tom were going to go to a bunch of cocktail bars and just jack all of those recipes1. Lisa wants to make sure that Tom Sandoval is on his best behavior because Nick Alain2 is coming into town and Lisa doesn’t want anything to get muddled in the process. Lisa wants Tom to know that the designing and organizing and generally knowing how working a job is all on her, and he just needs to stand still and look pretty.

Michelle Branch can tell him a thing or two about that.

Over at The Phoenix, Lala is introducing Stassi to the first black people she’s ever met, Lala’s music producers. One of them is named Blk Elviz, and the other is Sean2, and they’re both very fashionable and aesthetically pleasing. Of course Stassi uses the word “y’all” as soon as she meets them because code switching is real3. Blk Elviz is wearing a leather jacket that I envy so greatly I know that thing was $600. They’re getting ready for Lala’s performing and scouting the space. Stassi’s not concerned about the musical aspect but really creating a vibe and… you know, event planning. What bothers me is that the music producers are kind of just there to be there, and really, they should be asking more questions than Stassi is. What are the acoustics like? Are there going to be sound engineers? If Lala’s performing outside, will the audio be swallowed up?

I should be doing this job. Jusssayin. Stassi only listens to showtunes and reggaeton. Stassi loves Les Miserables, as most white people do.

Stassi and Lala sit down to split a giant pretzel and discuss girls’ night. Stassi’ really trying to listen and communicate with Ariana but Ariana’s not having it. Stassi’s not okay with feeling shamed for calling out bad behavior and feels no need to apologize. I agree with Stassi - she was made uncomfortable by Jeremy, and she told Ariana such, and Ariana doubled down on her anger. I don’t know if anyone else could have expressed that sentiment to Ariana, either. Unfortunately for Stassi, Ariana’s hatred of her makes her blind to the possibility that Stassi could ever be correct or have feelings worth validating.When Stassi says she’s not apologizing, Lala calls her a gangsta bitch.

That’s a little too far, Lala. We’re not going that far today.

Ugh, we’re at The Tomb of Jax Taylor, or Jax and Brittany’s apartment where it immediately starts with them bickering over the couch and to top it all off, Kelsey, Jax’s financial dominatrix - I mean, reiki coach, is coming over, and Brittany’s gotta skedaddle for a bit. Brittany’s a little jealous because Kelsey is not only good looking but she’s providing something to Jax that Brittany not only doesn’t know, she doesn’t even understand what it is. I mean, if I was a little concerned about that, I would take Kelsey aside and, you know, ask her about the process that my boyfriend of two years is making and how she’s helping him. These sessions aren’t just for him, BRITTANY.

I notice at this moment that Jax is wearing a Saturdays are for the Boys shirt. When did this become a thing? According to Know Your Meme it’s from a thing called Barstool Sports. I thought Barstool Sports was the game I played when I was trying to get laid in college and would post up at a bar for a few hours. But no, apparently it’s not even a game! It’s a podcast!

Jax loves Kelsey because she literally breaks him down and rebuilds him. I’m glad Jax is feeling the way he’s made women feel for 500 years. He’s ful of anxiety about the whole idea of the trip. Oh, and apparently someone offered Jax a job.

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No.

Jax Taylor did not get offered a job in Florida. No. He’s like “I get to be around sports all day” It’s apparently a job in hockey doing social media and marketing. I have friends who work for stadiums. No. This is not real. He’s mad that Tom & Tom have an opportunity so he’s going to pull a Ryan Howard and move to Miami. Miami, Ohio, that is, where this job likely is. That somehow makes Jax both Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard simultaneous and I don’t think this is what Greg Daniels and Michael Schur wanted.

And even so, why would he take this? I’m sorry, Jax has it made. He’s easily pulling in a mid-range six figures from this show, Instagram ads, and appearances alone. And he wants to give all of that up to live in a swampland and make, what, 60k a year? And even so, the Tampa Bay hockey team is really good. I can’t imagine them hiring a 75 year old who’s never had a job and didn’t go to college to study this. Sorry. I call bullshit.

My friend Celia’s doing reiki treatment right now for chronic pain, and she says it’s really working for her, so I’ll hold my tongue regarding Kelsey and what she does, because I really don’t have any knowledge and experience. What I can say confidently is that Jax is going to try to fuck Kelsey, and Jax will use reiki as an excuse to blame Brittany when he does so. That I’m sure of.

Brittany returns and Jax gushes over Kelsey, of course. He’s like “she’s amazing, my days are better after I see her,” and Brittany wants to help, and Jax immediately starts pitting Kelsey against her. It’s actually effortless. Brittany’s like, “Tell me what she does so I can try to help you,” and Jax is like “she’s just not like you at all in every single way, she makes you look like trash.” The appropriate response would for Jax to explain how Kelsey’s helpful so Brittany can learn, but no. Jax hates Brittany so much at this point and is literally taking every step possible to make her feel like shit. He tells her she’s not patient with him, and Kelsey calls Jax Jayson.

Brittany asks why Jax doesn’t want her to all him Jayson, and Jax is basically like “I’m trying to know Jayson and who I was before I became Jax.” Brittany. He is literally telling you he doesn’t want to be the person you’re dating anymore. He’s going so far as to change his name. Everything with Jax is a fucking transaction. That’s why he’s pitting this woman he’s known for a few weeks against his live-in girlfriend of two years. Does Jax not realize that Kelsey’s mostly being so kind ot him because he’s paying her, not because she actually likes him? And that she’s showering him with positivity and false platitudes like she’s RuPaul? Jax is that guy at the strip club who wastes his entire retirement fund because that’s the only way he can feel good about himself.

At this point the Trump administration should just hire Jax, he’s a member of their tribe of Transactional Relationships.

Jax tells Brittany about this fake madeup job in Tampa. After he’s told Kelsey already. Jax is that friend who gets an idea in his brain and is 100% in on the idea without considering the reality of the situation. He tells Brittany to her face that right now he doesn’t see anything holding him back and there’s nothing there for him - the implication being that being in Los Angeles with her was the problem. He doesn’t want to be Peter Pan anymore… but as soon as Brittany’s like “great, I want you to grow up, too,” Jax gets mad. She’s giving him support and agreeing with his opinion but he doesn’t want that. The minute Brittany agrees reminds Jax that his behavior isn’t just for him, it effects other people. That’s why he’s like, “God, just say yes. Not ‘you’ or ‘me’ or ‘I’ or ‘us’.” He literally tells her not to talk about the way his actions affect her, positively or negatively. She tells him that she has opinions too and she, in fact, doesn’t have to just stand there and say ”sounds good, honey.” Kelsey, who I only hate because she’s enabled and provided a sociopath with the tools he needs to continue his abusive behavior, told Jax that he needs to put himself first because he never does anything for himself. Brittany rolls her eyes at this entire notion, and so do I.

Brittany will never leave this man. She loves him and she truly believes everything she has will go away if she chooses to leave.

Because the producers want to give us an example of a healthy, functioning relationship, we’re over to Scheana’s apartment where she’s hanging out with her true love - her cat. Oh, and Rob’s there and Scheana’s “made food”4. Scheana immediately pretends like she wants what’s best for Brittany and wants her to get her mojo back by fucking a ton of other dudes. Rob, forever the voice of reason and rooted in some sense of reality, reminds Scheana that Brittany has agency and if she doesn’t want to break up with Jax, Scheana can’t force that to happen. Scheana clearly sees herself in Brittany and thinks Brittany’s just afraid of being alone and would rather stay miserable than be alone.

As soon as Scheana starts on this path, Rob is like OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE ONLY REASON I DATE YOU, to get publicity for the app I’m starting! It’s an e-commerce site where divorced people can selll their shit.

I am literally sitting next to my roommate who works in e-commerce and if she wasn’t paitiently working I would ask her on a scale from 1 to Offset cheating on Cardi B how stupid this idea is.

“The Divorce Closet”. Not everything is a business. Isn’t it a crime to sell someone else’s things without their consent? How is this not just Nasty eBay?

Scheana so admires Rob’s work ethic in creating a brand that literally caters to only her. I don’t want to buy Shay’s broken snowboard or your old Indique hair extensions, Scheana. They’re looking at logos, Scheana’s asking about copyrights, and Rob’s like “well, I have majority equity and you’re the face of the company.”

Read: I make all the money and you do nothing. Get this shit in writing, Scheana. He’s fucking you over. But then again, Scheana is so dickmatized and love-blind that it wouldn’t be romantic to go through all the nitty-gritty of contracts and whatnot with Rob. Rob can install a television in seven minutes and he would never screw over Scheana in The Divorce Closet. She’s so distracted by his baby blue eyes and how much she wants to marry him.

I don’t feel bad for Scheana. We’ve seen Scheana’s delusion in action before - remember when she was convinced Shay’s substance problems could be fixed by him just not drinking as much? Or how after one therapy session she thought all of their problems were fixed? Scheana sees these men as her saviors and her biggest enemies. Shay wasn’t perfect but god damn, I don’t think he deserves the on-camera humiliation that Scheana puts him in week after week. It doesn’t reflect poorly on him. It reflects poorly on her.

Lisa Vanderpump is kissing a horse. She’s at the stables riding Prince Tardon, her sexy horse. Brittany arrives and she’s terrified because she hasn’t rode a horse in forever. These are nothing compared to the tiny horses Brittany has on her farm in Kentucky. Brittany brings up the fact that things with Jax aren’t as bad as they had been in the past, and that she’s even planned this trip to Mexico for them. Why? What is the point of this trip? Lisa asks her why she feels the need to make it all better and celebrate him when he’s done nothing but treat her like crap, and it’s an entirely logical question. Why isn’t Brittany torturing Jax more? Brittany thinks Jax just needs to get away. She wants Vacation Jax. Lisa doesn’t understand why Jax is doing reiki and basically calls bullshit. She doesn’t understand why he’s not going to a convetional therapy.

Lisa tells Brittany she needs to look after herself and take care of herself. Lisa doesn’t understand why she puts up with it, doesn’t see anything changing any time soon.

In effect, Lisa is trying to tell Brittany that she won’t lose everything - she won’t be fired from the show - if she decides to break up with Jax.

We’re back at Tom Tom, and Tom Sandoval is wearing one of the ugliest shirts I have ever seen. Lisa, Ken, and The Toms are waiting for Nickel Lane, Lisa’s restaurant designer. They’re putting a fucking pendulum in TomTom. What is he doing? They want it to look like the inside of a clock inside TomTom. I guess TomTom will just be a long metaphor for how fleeting time can truly be, tick-tock, tick-tock. Sandoval has created some cocktail ideas for the restaurant, one including scorpion chili5. Lisa loves them. Tom finally got some sort of approval.

Over at Stassi’s, she and Kristen are packing their bags for Mexico. Kristen has a dearth of sequin tank tops with spaghetti straps. I love that Kristen is the most consistent person on earth in terms of her fashion choices. T-shirts with “romantic” or “funny” phrases, sequin tank tops, jeans. Wash, rinse, repeat. Stassi’s not excited to be rooming with Kristen because she’s a disaster of a person.

Lala got a spray tan, so he’s ready for Mexico.

Jax has a matching shirt and pants, and Ariana is bringing 100 bikinis.

We get a plane/shots/van/hotel montage, and they’re staying in one of my favorite locations I think I’ve seen on reality TV. Poor Peter has to room with James, and I bet he’s mad he agreed to go on this trip. I really don’t know what’s worse - the idea of James Kennedy having a hotel room to himself or being his roommate. All the rooms in the hotel are nice, but Jax and Brittany’s suite is the best one, it even has a private pool. Jax is wearing a NASCAR shirt, he deserves nothing.

We get an entirely unnecessary scene of Katie and Tom gushing over how happy they are in their relationship and how this first year of marriage has been the easiest and most fun time ever. They give a montage of all of the great moments these two have had as a couple who definitely should have gotten married, but it’s okay, they can eat $10 peanuts now.

Jax and Brittany are skinnydipping and shaming Peter and James for not having their own pool. Brittany mentions to Jax that he seems to be in good spirits and in a good mood and he’s like, “yeah, that’s Kelsey.” To the face of his girlfriend who arranged (along with producers) for this trip for his birthday in the suite she set up. God, I fucking hate him.

Are these people not allowed to leave the hotel?

Stassi and Kristen are trying to come to terms about their arrangement and basically having respect for each other’s space and desires. Stassi tries to tell Kristen that after 2 AM if she’s asleep, let her sleep. This is clearly a problem that’s happened before, and Kristen called Stassi selfish for not staying up all night partying for Jax’s birthday. Honestly, when my friends are going to bed and I’m wasted, I’m tucking them into bed and getting Goodnight Moon out. Kristen seems like the type to wake you up by pouring a glass of water on your face and calling you a bitch.

Stassi especially wants Kristen to stay away from their balcony, particularly with tequila.

Sandoval is ironing a shirt and complaining that it’s harder to get ready in Mexico because of the weather. He’s exfoliating, using less pomade, and somehow he adapts. Somehow.

Jax is 95% going to take this job in Florida and is going to tell Tom & Tom tonight. This is Brand New Information to Brittany, who is right to be upset. They’ve had one conversation about it and Jax is like “you knew this, I told you.” If it’s the same conversation we all saw, he told Brittany but there was no discussion about the reality of of it all. It was more of a “this is a cool thing that happened to me today,” and now it’s a real thing. I HATE THIS MAN. Jax doesn’t understand why Brittany wants to stay in LA and Jax immedaitely goes on the defense. Brittany points out that this is not a overnight decision at all, but to Jax it is. He’s making choices about their future without asking her, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.

Can you believe?

Jax is so abusive, I really can’t with him. He’s trying to isolate Brittany by doing this. The fact that the first thing that came to mind in terms of reasons to stay in Los Angeles is “we’re not staying for friends, we’re not children.” Who has been the most vocal regarding Brittany breaking up with Jax? Her friends. This is so tragic, bordering on disturbing. He is trying anything he can to make sure that she cannot make choices for herself. He cheats on her and she’s supposed to blindly support him and not say anything or stand up for herself.

Jax honestly needs to get a blow-up doll. Jax is the prime candidate for one of those sex robots. You know how in come countries they castrate pedophiles? Jax Taylor should be forced to never interact with women ever again once he gets his sex robot. We will all be better off.

Jax keeps saying this is his dream and he fully thought Brittany was on board, and Brittany basically is like, “what about my dreams, Jax?’” He never once considered her feelings in all of this, he assumed she would follow him anywhere. He has clearly made up his mind in the way he’s talking to her - there’s no reflection on what she’s saying, he honestly just thinks she’s upset because they’re leaving Los Angeles. Yes, Brittany can be a bartender anywhere, but right now, she’s being a bartender in Los Angeles and she’s okay with that. He thinks she’s going to force him to give up his dream, but he’s never considered hers.

Why does she stay? I really don’t understand why she stays. I really, really don’t. At this point, it’s just sad. I get it, you love the lifestyle he provides. But she can’t grow with him. And honestly, if she’s staying with him after he cheated, she doesn’t get to bring up the fact that he cheated over and over again to win arguments. Jax had done an abundance of awful things that should be thrown in his face, but she told him she forgave him and was trying to move past it. She can’t move past it if she’s continuing to weaponize it.

Ugh, did I just defend Jax?!

For some reason we get a scene of Lisa Vanderpump at Sexy Unique Restaurant, saying hello to Billie Lee and yelling at someone for their not-sexy plating. There are some good bartenders behind the bar for once and they get their time in the spotlight, finally. One is Daddy Bae Adam and the other is WeSley.

You’re probably wondering why I capitalized that S. The response is that it’s not pronounced “Wisley” like you’re used to. The S is emphaised - WeS-ley. Daddy Bae Adam wants to see about moving from barbacking to bartending, and Lisa is immediately skeptical. Lisa’s like, yeah, you’re cute, but can you muddle for five hours straight, because that’s what the Sexy Unique Bartenders are expected to do. I’m not making this up. There one-third of the cocktails on the Sexy Unique Website for Sexy Unique Restaurant have a muddled ingredient. I am now concerned for Ariana’s wrists. No one else’s.

Sorry, though, Lisa. Adam is far too hot to keep behind the bar and not in front of it. Why are you letting Jax, a bag of steroids disguising itself as a person, be one of the faces of your bar? Lisa asks Adam to make her a mojito, and he fucks it up right away. He’s better than Jax ever could be as a bartender, though. We get a loving montage of Jax making bad drinks and not giving a fuck. Who cares if Adam mistakes sweet-and-sour with soda water? Jax once served someone a cocktail with broken glass in place of ice.

How is Jax not in jail.

Back in Mexico Musical Cue: “we don’t need so sleep because the party don’t stop / so put your hands on me and turn me on, turn me on”.

I don’t need to go further into the fact that these lyrics have no relationship to one another, right?

The Mexico group is off to dinner, and they’re talking about the plans they have for the next day. They’re going to a water park! They take shots celebrating Scheana’s divorce because it’s finalized! Scheana’s gushing about Rob again because she has nothing else to talk about except her significant others, and Stassi says she needs to find a new hobby. I agree. Stassi is literally how I am when my friends go on about their significant others for more than I feel appropriate. Rob has infiltrated Stassi’s psyche and she’s even having nightmares about him now.

A former friend of mine in college6 lived in a house with three of her sorority sisters and she happened to be only single one. The fact that her roommates were sleeping not in their house but over at their respective significant others bothered her so deeply that it was all she talked about for three months. Because she couldn’t go to them about this problem, she came to me. Every conversation we had was about how she didn’t feel comfortable with staying in her house alone. To this day, I wonder if she ever talked to them about it. Anyway, the point of all of this is that her complaints began to effect me. I was having nightmares and full of anxiety about her situation. Stassi’s joking, but really - people who lack the awareness that their bombarding the conversation with one topic are the most selfish people on Earth. This girl was a walking red flag.

Jax takes the Toms aside to tell them about his Fake Job opportunity. The Toms are devastated to lose Jax and the band breaking up. Who are they going to hide behind and pretend they’re better than? How are they going to feel better about committing bad behaviors if they don’t have Jax to compare it to? They don’t want Jax to leave because they might have to feel remorseful.

Brittany tells the girls about Jax’s fake job opporunity, and I love that everyone’s skeptical. Kristen’s like “so, it’s real?’ And Katie asks if they subjected him to a spelling test. Remember Jax’s sweater line? Or his fitness app? All the girls are mad that Jax assumed that Brittany’s just going to pack up and move along with her, and Stassi is the first to explode about it. All the girls are telling her he treats her like shit and she doesn’t need to deal with that. Scheana tries to defend Brittany but everyone’s like, wait, weren’t you trying to set her up with the hot new bartender just last week? Shut up.

Jax approaches and Stassi tells him he’s Public Enemy Number One.

He sits back down at the table, and everyone’s like “So, Tampa?” And Jax is like, “Y’all can come visit!” They ask Jax what he’s doing for this Fake Job, and he says “events and social media.”

Okay, Jax. Sure, Jan. I don’t know a single company that would link their events team and social media team. They’re both marketing but very different types of marketing. And no, he is not “in charge of social media”. Jax literally cannot come up with a title for his job because he does not have this job.

Ariana brings up that she really wants to make sure that Brittany can do what she wants out of life, even if she does go with Jax to do this or not. This turns into Jax literally learning what his girlfriend’s life dream is. They’ve been together for two years and he literally cannot recall that Brittany wants to work with children with mental disabilities. She did it in high school, and it’s what she went to fucking school for.

Brittany, why? Why do you do this?! I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

She’s giving him so many chances to be a good boyfriend. She’s literally like, “You know, I’ve told you what I want to do a bunch of times, don’t make a fool of me in front of my friends, just pretend you know what I’m talking about.” And Jax is too dumb to play along and further humiliates her. He doesn’t care about her whatsoever. All he had to say is like “oh yeah, of course I’ve heard you say that.” But he doesn’t. This information he should know, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even want to.

Lala wins the fucking episode when she reminds Jax that he is no longer single, he’s in a partnership of two years, and he needs to respect her. Jax tells her to shut up, and she loses it in only the way a woman tired of being told to be silent does. She’s fed up and she’s had enough of his blatant disrespect. Lala can’t get any respect from these men and they really do need to stop telling her to shut up when she’s holding them accountable.

Imagine a bunch of people telling you you’re treating someone like shit and to change and your response is to tell them to shut up instead of considering maybe you’re a bad person. Just imagine.

Jax tells Lala she doesn’t know him well enough to speak to him the way she is, and we get to see Lala’s old face and Jax before his hairline decided it was disgusted by him in a montage, where we remember that a) Jax really wanted to fuck Lala and b) Jax diminished and disrespected his relationship with Brittany in order to try to fuck Lala. Lala knows firsthand what a shithead Jax is and is definitely allowed to speak on it.

When Jax tries to shut Lala down, that allows Kristen to rise from the ashes, because if Lala doesn’t know him well enough, Kristen/Katie/Stassi definitely do. Jax tries an ad hominem attack, this one being “Why isn’t Carter here, Kristen? What’s wrong with your relationship?” And Kristen literally is like “... yeah, that has nothing to do with what’s going on here.”

My personal favorite defense is when people are getting held accountable for shitty things they’ve done and their response is “well, you’re not perfect.” No one was ever saying that they were (Especially not Kristen). You don’t have to be perfect to know when someone is being bad. You just need to be a decent person. Jax is the most manipulative and abusive asshole and I hope someone runs him over.

Ariana has a napkin over her head, and Sandoval decides it’s time to jump into the conversation because Jax needs a defender at this time. No, Jax doesn’t, and Sandoval can fuck right off for this. Stassi is telling Jax that she stays quiet whenever she hears the way Jax speaks to Brittany even though she’s not okay with it, and Sandoval tries to tell her that she doesn’t have a leg to stand on because Stassi is Jax’s ex-girlfriend so of course her opinion is biased against Jax. Sandoval, your opinion is biased FOR Jax. He’s acting like losing Jax to Florida is somehow equal to Jax’s awful, abusive behavior. He’s acting like his devastation is equal to the devastation Brittany’s self-esteem is suffering.

Next Week: Watersports, and not the sexy kind. Oh, that Kristen vs. Stassi thing is going to be an actual Thing, apparently. Scheana tells Rob she’s trying to be present and he tells her to shut her phone off (supportive, right?) But no, Scheana discovers Rob basically doesn’t want to hear from her. Lisa is aware of Scheana’s meddling in Jax and Brittany’s relationship, and so is Jax, and Jax is mad that Brittany might actually want better for herself than him. Who woulda thunk it?

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Who told Brittany and Jax that robin’s egg blue is a good color for a living room area?

Jax doesn’t want a partner because that would require him to see women as companions. Jax wants a mother and a his buddies.

Scheana apparently only watches her scenes. I love that. She’s awful.

Honestly, the fact that Lisa Vanderpump doesn’t have restaurants called Sous, Dans, Devant, and Derriere is a loss for her. This is a French language joke, brought to you by my tenth grade French teacher and the direction song. 

I really want to go to Mexico.

Brittany hasn’t realized that Jax tired of his shiny new toy and she thinks she can get him to fall in love with her again. And the harder she tries, the less interested he is. I’m not going to say I’ve been in the situation before because I never know who is reading this, but man, I can see Jax’s side. Like, when I’m done with someone, I’m done. And the more they try to make me change my mind, the more done I become. By the end of my last relationship I would be ideal for Donald Trump with how done I was.

Further evidence that this job does not exist: Jax only lies to protect himself.

I can't wait to see The Divorce Closet on Shark Tank.

Bartenders, or if we’re being obnoxious, mixologists, or if we’re being pretentious, “cocktail artists”, are some of the most protective over their intellectual property. Then again, if I made a cocktail with 15 different ingredients that I had to source from the bottom of a gold-plated barrel, I would be too. ↩︎

I had to turn on the subtitles because I spent the last episode like “What kind of name is Nicole Ain?” Or “Nickle Ayn”? ↩︎

Yes, I know Stassi si from New Orleans. We’ve never heard her use “y’all” until now, and honestly, I’m so pro a gender-neutral plural that I think y’all shouldn’t be exclusively for Southern people. SORRRRRRRY. But y’all also can’t tell me she didn’t say this just because she was around black people. ↩︎

Why are people still replating carryout food and pretending they made it?! I know you didn’t do this. ↩︎

I fucking hate spicy cocktails and I judge cocktail bars with them on their menu. Oh god, I’m totally going to get myself into a lot of fucking trouble with my bartender friends SORRY Y’ALL ↩︎

One of the three people on Earth who knows that if we’re ever on the same sidewalk she better cross the fuckin’ street. ↩︎

[noheroes-allowed]

week 2

I felt like I was getting carpel tunnel in my hands last week. and that was why I couldn’t write my thoughts down earlier bc I was literally resting my hands the past two days. I was trying so hard everyday to catch up on credit strategy and sas. I think I’m frustrated on how things are going. but I’m not allowed to complain about it bc I’m ‘so lucky.’ when people are so ‘excited’ on zoom, is that real? there’s this guy larell who is literally smiling all the time, but it’s the scary kind of smile. his eyes look empty. it’s an act, right? they’re just trying to make good impressions so they can get a full-time offer. or they’re just better adjusted than I am. I can’t tell. everyone’s so excited about things I’m so bored about. like orientation when we spent so long going over irrelevant things. or personal social media branding. which was just common sense. the ur team is holding an olympics thing next friday which would've been fun in person to make friends and socialized but over zoom, it kind of feels like it’s going to be a mess. I’d rather just work on my project and get work done. 

I’m frustrated with myself too. I can’t focus when I need to sometimes and I have difficulty conversing over calls. a part of me is grateful I don’t have to worry about my body language and making extra effort to smile if we were in person since no video is the default bc of bandwidth I think. but also it’s really difficult to converse. but also that might be bc I’ve literally not had to talk in a professional sense or think off the top of my head or quick on my feet in so long that I’m just regressing in that skill when I was really bad to begin with. one of my strengths is the amount of effort I put in and being organized and conscientious but I can’t even portray that through this virtual environment. and speaking up matters so much more now. I think that’s why anthony bothers me. bc I’ve been trying so fucking hard to learn sas and he’s over there still not having done anything 10 days in. and he’s also just dominating every conversation he’s in and trying to make himself sound smart. like when he was talking about economic theory assuming everyone is rational and throwing in terms like adverse selection and flexing that he has a gf in two separate situations in the span of two days that had no relevance to the topics at hand. gross. I just hate people who think they’re so smart and try to sound intellectual. and yes I fucking hate his glasses ok. it makes him look like a fucking asshole.

the ur team also set up an intern networking program and I met the first girl last thurs. and I swear she looked disappointed when I came on screen. I swear. the conversation was fine I guess. we talked about school and the fall and she said she would rather have everything be online than potentially have classes on saturday. we talked about shows too. she said she liked b99 bc it reassured her that not all police are bad. which I hope she does not actually use b99 as a representation of police. idk if I regret signing up for the program bc I like having lunch breaks to myself. like I just wanna watch shows. but I forced myself to sign up for this and the innovation challenge even though I already foresee that being a mess bc group work in these times is not gonna go well. I feel like I’m forcing myself to do a lot of things lately. which is good I guess to push my boundaries and being comfortable doesn’t make me grow but also. I just want to slow down.

nolan's last day was friday. I wish he wasn’t leaving so soon bc I feel like I was being a huge idiot around him and I want to redeem himself. so I’m not just some dumb kid in his mind. I sent him a message though thanking him for explaining things with me even though he was extremely busy. but he kept saying he had a free schedule. idk. he thanked me for my ‘kind words’ and said I could connect with him on linkedin and ask him for career help if I needed it. which was nice. he would’ve been a nice mentor to have but he also intimidated me so much bc I think I just. don’t know how to conduct myself around typical business guys even though he was so nice to me and all the fear around him is just manifestations of ideas in my mind. it’s also unfortunately bc I don’t know how to act around white people these days bc I basically don’t know any and aren’t around them since leaving hs and umd. I think he actually would’ve been really helpful in my own development too, not just for the intern project bc he’s so young and went through the program. and probably would’ve been more candid with me and I would’ve been more open to him as time went on. sigh. chee is nice though. he’s helping me and I think he’ll be quite helpful as the project goes on, but it feels like only on technical things. not necessarily mentoring. which is fine. people have different styles. and he’s less intimidating in my mind for some reason even though he’s older and has more experience than nolan. 

I hope my project is good. ugh I really want my work to stand out against everyone else’s. I’m really scared about having to find a job soon bc my interview skills are below par and I feel like this is my only opportunity to get a job. but I also don’t see myself moving there. and if they go online idk if I’d survive it. idk it’s probably not a good fit for me but it’s like. I don’t think I can factor that in this job market. and I know the project outcome isn’t everything bc I have to network and prove I’m a good fit. even though I’m most likely not. but everyone keeps saying network network network. but I don’t know how. it’s frustrating. and they keep saying ask questions. but what if you don’t know enough to know what to ask? it’s like that issue when people are like go to your prof’s office hours to ask questions to get to know them. but like. I barely had questions and whenever I went to office hours I just sounded like a dumbass bc I’d just be there for 5 min. ask a question and then be like ‘ok’ and then leave. like I just don’t know what to ask. 

other things of this week. I had a corp rel meeting on thurs. so I’m starting to look into potential companies to contact. and it was easy to find sustainability/environment ones and social sector ones but finance and tech are tricky. I got grades back on a lot of my final exams. I was one point away from a cutoff but on student center I got the higher grade. which thank you bc the grade I got on my final was the lowest grade of the entire sem for that class so I was a little disappointed I didn’t just pull through at the end. also it’s so ironic of me to get an internship tangentially related to the second most disliked class I took this sem. I did worse than I wanted to on all of my finals but. what was I expecting really. I still haven’t figured out what to do about the mps thing. but I really need to soon. idk if I should play it safe and apply for stats or try for info sci. but also. ugh does it matter. like I was so sure I wanted to do info sci over stats but now I have to only choose one bc I can only apply to one. and have to decide my fall schedule based on that decision. and the cs databases class seems so theoretical. and the business intelligence class and the tech ethics class looked interesting. but the messy data class and applied databases class are probably more useful. 

[beastsoulsauthor-blog]

Beast Souls Volume 1

‎9/‎5/‎2014                                                                                      

Aaron McCoy 

Beast Souls

(Scene: California redwood forest, an advanced style tree house centered at the top of the middle one in the shot. Blaze; a fiery haired shaggy young man with a half hoodie, "fireball" necklace, and swim trunks with flame print. Sits beside a huge Fu dog style statuesque figure made of fire with glowing green eyes "Ember". They're leaning against the tree looking over a sheet in Blazes hand)

Blaze: "Man, look at this sad list!"

Ember: "Sad?"

Blaze: "Yeah! None of these bounties are over $500!?"

Ember: "Isn't their bounty directly related to their class and skill?"

Blaze: "Yes? What's your point?"

Ember: "My point IS; are you really MAD there aren't MORE dangerous people in the area?"

Blaze: "Not EXACTLY, it's just, we got bills to pay! Plus we need to eat! On top of that class ones are boring now, they're not even challenging anymore. We'll never get stronger at this rate."

Ember: "Hmmm...I guess you have a point. That IS the amateur list though. It’s not like we're proud souls."

Blaze: "AH! Proud Souls. Now THAT's the life! Hunting hardcore baddies for big pay and privileges."

Ember: "Seeing as its invite only guess we'll stick with the small fry for now"

Blaze (annoyed face): "I guess so. Hmm. How about this guy? Bounties $500, highest on the sheet, says has been mugging young rich ladies in the market."

Ember: "What despicable behavior! We should teach him better manners!"

Blaze (serious face): Yes.....yes we should."

(Scene point: Last shot in scene is bounty page with picture of a man’s face and the names Fig and Twig at the top with a bounty of $500)

(End scene 1)

(Scene: Blaze narrates a flashback accompanied with coinciding pictures of the places mentioned, him running away from a house, under a tree, etc.)

Blaze (narrating): "I've been living day by day this way since the very beginning. The day I first met Ember, my very own beast soul.

I had ran away from a bad home in the middle of winter before a terrible snowstorm. Guess that wasn't the brightest idea.

I finally found shelter inside a huge hole in a tree. Only problem was the hole was so big that snow was blowing in making it almost impossible to start a fire. Notice I said almost? I had found rocks to serve as flint, but were getting wet from the snow, and I was getting colder."

Child Blaze: "COME ON! Light already! If you don't light....ILL DIE!"

(Scene: as child Blaze slams the two pieces of flint together in one last ditch effort they explode into sparks and the small explosion becomes a puppy made of fire)

Child Blaze: "WOAH!? What.....ARE you!?"

Blaze (narrating): "I was in complete shock. The puppy seemed to be made of fire but it didn't burn me when I got near it or touched it. It kept me warm. I thought at first I was hallucinating until..."

Ember (puppy): "I'm.....Ember."

Child Blaze: “HEY! I hear you in my head!?"

Ember (puppy): "Yes, I'm here because of you! I'm here to help you survive."

Blaze (narrating): "I didn't understand then completely what I had done. It was only when I made it to the city and a man named Argyl appeared before me with a certain letter that I truly understood."

(Scene: Now in a big city back alley with child blaze and a man in a black/blue suit with open lapel and lacey undershirt tucked back collars and red shoes, strong dark hair and eyes (hair of below shoulder length) Argyl )

Argyl: "You unlocked your potential and summoned your Beast Soul"

Child Blaze: “Beast...Soul?"

Argyl: "Yes, An amazing creature summoned forth to exist by using a sliver of your soul! It's part of you!"

Child Blaze: "Wow! COOL! But......how did I do it?"

Argyl: "None know for sure WHY some have this strange ability, BUT what IS known is that it's been around for a VERY long time, and only extreme circumstances, instincts, and large releases of adrenaline can cause a potential soul to fracture."

Child Blaze: "Wait.....so you're saying I summoned it because I thought I’d die from the cold!?"

Argyl: "In your case, yes, it would appear that way. As a result Ember is made of pure heat. Many of these beast souls have powers; How you use them is up to you, however, you should read this letter very carefully first."

(Scene: Argyl stops pacing and hands Blaze a letter, blaze looks down at the letter)

Child Blaze: "Okay, but I still don't get why....."

(Scene: Blaze looks up to notice that Argyl has already disappeared)

Child Blaze: "HEY! Where'd he go.....? Hmmm..."

(Scene: Blaze looks down at the letter again then opens it carefully, its contents now fully displayed. The letter reads as follows; "Dear Blaze, Congratulations on your recent awakening and welcome to the world of Beast Souls! We are The Society of Myth, a government of sorts for Users like yourself. Do what you will with your newfound powers; but know this, we WILL be watching. If you commit evil deeds or disrupt the world in any way we WILL find you. You have been warned. Sincerely, Mr. Koji P.S. This is your ONLY warning!" after this blaze continues to narrate with pictures of him through the years hunting, cooking, and finally some shots of him handing over Rouges to Argyl)

Blaze (narrating): "Naturally as a young boy the letter had terrified me. I definitely DIDN'T want the Society after me. I ended up using my powers mostly just for hunting and cooking.

Eventually, once I was old enough, I was informed of the Amateur List and Bounties (a list of low level trouble makers other users can catch for money). So I decided that's how I and Ember would make a living.

We've been fighting ever since."

(Scene 2 "flashback sequence" End)

(Scene opens to current day a California local marketplace where The List said Fig would be. Blaze walking around the high end of the market)

Blaze: "Man! Sure is busy today!"

Ember: “It IS Saturday you know”

Blaze: “Good that means lots of Richie teen girls will be out shopping. Perfect bait for our bounty!”

Ember: “That’s….not necessarily a “happy” thought.”

Blaze: “Don’t worry Ember. I won’t let anyone get hurt, we’ll be ever vigilant!”

(Saying this Blaze does a comical hand above eyes back and forth scan?)

Ember: “Blaze, look over there!”

Blaze: “WOAH! She’s obviously the richest girl here!”

(In the distance a women with nice clothing, expensive jewelry, and even a servant carrying many bags.)

Ember: “Yes, but if WE noticed her that easily, then that means….”

Blaze: “Our bounty might too!”

(Scene: after tailing the girl only a couple of minutes they notices a shadowy figure wearing sunglasses staring and following her intently)

Blaze: “Hey, looks like that guys watching her too!”

Ember: “Yes, and its way too cloudy for sunglasses.”

Blaze: “Definitely, looks like we’re on to something.”

(Scene: They keep following the young girl as they do the man follows also)

Blaze: “Looks like he’s our man!”

Ember: “We can’t be sure until he makes his move, harming civilians with our powers is against the rules. We have to be sure he’s Fig”

Blaze: “I know, don’t worry, we’re reaching the end of the market if he’s planning on making a move he’ll have to do it soon!”

(Scene: They finally end up in a more deserted area of shops. Closed or out of business signs dot the windows. They overhear the woman)

Woman: “Oh my, it appears we’ve come too far James”

James: “Yes madam, we should find our way back immediately. This place looks unsavory.”

Woman: “I think the main market is this way?”

(Scene: Just then the dark figured man steps forward)

Man: “I can show you the way back miss.”

Woman: “Why thank you kind sir”

Man (smiling intently): “My pleasure!”

(Scene: saying this the man leads them instead down a back alley”

Blaze: “Here it comes!”

Ember: “Don’t go down there until he reveals himself!”

James: “Hmmm. This doesn’t look right at all”

Man: “You’re right. That’s because, IT’S NOT!”

(Scene: saying this the man discards the jacket and sunglasses revealing the face of Fig from the wanted poster)

Blaze: “IT IS HIM! I KNEW IT”

Ember: “Alright LET’S GO!”

(Scene: Racing in Blaze steps in front of the lady)

Blaze: “You might want to get out of here lady, it might get ugly.”

(Scene: Saying this Blaze throws out his hand wide as an explosion occurs summoning Ember into existence)

Woman: “OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?”

James: “My lady we need to leave NOW!”

(Scene: Saying this the man and woman drop their bags and high-tail it from the alley)

Fig (scowling): “YOU BASTARD! I don’t know who you are but that was my catch of the day, and you scared her off! You won’t get away with this.”

Blaze: “Sorry. I never did have good luck with the ladies. Ha ha ha.”

Fig: “ARGH! You think this is FUNNY!? I’ll show you the PUNCHLINE!”

(Scene: Fig claps his hands together. As he pulls them apart a long smooth brown object materializes between them. A giant stick bug creature is revealed.)

Fig: “Meet Twig, my faithful companion. The most powerful stick in the world!”

(Scene: Seeing this Blaze and Ember look at each other. Then back to him. After which they burst into teary-eyed laughter.)

Blaze: “OH MY GOD! That’s got to be the worst Beast Soul I’ve EVER seen!”

Fig: “Yes, I suppose he doesn’t look very impressive eh? But I assure you looks can be deceiving.”

Twig: “Yes my good sirs, do not count me among the trash just yet!”

Blaze: “HUH? You talk silly too!?”

Twig: “Yes, I suppose to a barbaric simpleton such as you my linguistics are quite strange.”

Blaze: “Barbaric simpleton!? That’s an insult……right Ember?”

Ember: “Yes, but you’re not exactly helping your case.”

Blaze: “Ugh, whatever let’s just fight already. Then I will SHOW you “barbaric””

Fig: “As you wish!”

(Scene: saying this they step forward Ember growling at Blaze’s side and Fig brandishing Twig as a wooden sword)

Blaze (smirking): “Your move stick boy”

Fig: “Indeed”

(Scene: Fig rushes forward jumping over Ember and coming down with a heavy strike toward Blaze, Blaze then rolls back and stands as Twig slams the ground breaking it up a little)

Blaze: “Ember GO!”

(Scene: Ember jumps toward Fig spinning into a giant fireball slamming Fig right in the chest and up against the alley walls)

Fig: “I see you are well practiced.”

Blaze: “Oh, you have no idea pal!”

(Scene: Fig and Twig stand quickly back to ready stance)

Twig: “We should enlighten them to our true power sir”

Fig: “Yes, I believe you’re right Twig!”

(Scene: They rush Blaze again jumping over Ember they swipe at Blaze’s feet as he jumps Twig changes direction and grows in length until Blaze is slammed against the opposite wall)

Blaze: “Argh! Damn! What was that?”

Ember: “HE STRETCHED!?”

Fig: “Very observant, Twig can stretch himself to any length without reducing strength in blows or structural integrity.”

Twig: “Now you see don’t you!? You’ll not be getting close to us again, and my reach is ABSOLUTE!”

Blaze (shrugging): “So!? You think a parlor trick like that is gonna scare me? Ember…..Time to get serious”

Ember: “Good, I was getting bored hanging back”

(Scene: Blaze stretches out his left hand fingers apart palm to the sky. Ember becomes a flame tunnel racing down Blazes arm. When he reaches the end Ember transforms into a glowing sun-shaped ball)

Blaze (jumping): “Blazing SHOT!”

(Scene: Blaze strikes the growing glowing sun-shaped sphere of fire with his free hand. HARD. This sends it spinning, flaming, and flying toward Fig and Twig)

Fig: “ARGGHH!”

(Scene: Fig uses Twig to try and block the shot. It overwhelms them. When it clears they are on the ground and Blaze is facing away from them.”

Blaze: “Alright, let’s call Argyl.”

(Scene: Even while saying this the bloodied Fig and Twig start to stand)

Fig: “Don’t count me out yet!”

(Scene: Saying this Blaze turns as Fig pulls a hidden sword from twig and it grows into and through his shoulder pinning him to the brick wall)

Blaze: “NOT AGAIN!?”

Ember: “A sword!?”

Twig: “I’m actually a SHEETH”

(Scene: Blaze grabs the blade with both hands, the blades cut his skin)

Blaze: “I’m SICK of playing your GAMES!”

(Scene: Saying this with gritted teeth he pushes the blade out and Fig and Twig away.)

Fig and Twig together: “NO IMPOSSIBLE!”

Ember: “USE IT!”

Blaze: “Yeah. Let’s finish this!”

(Scene: Fig grows the blade swinging at Blaze. Blaze jumps dodging the blade as it slices the brick wall clean. As Blaze lands he outstretches both hands together into a “Gun” Shape. Embers flame tunnel goes through him over shoulders down arms and to his fingertips glowing like a red star.)

Blaze: “Fire-Gun Finger”

(Scene: A giant white hot beam is shot from his fingertips)

Fig and Twig together: “NOOOOO”

(Scene: Blaze and Ember looking down over the charred scratched up body of Fig. Twig now gone because of Fig being passed out.)

Ember: “Well, he was certainly a handful”

Blaze: “He was annoying.”

Ember: “Yes, He’s out now for sure though.”

Blaze: “Good let’s call Argyl for real this time”

(Scene: Pulling a black feather from his pocket and holding close to his head closing his eyes)

Blaze: “Yo Argyl we got Fig here.”

(Scene: In a whoosh of feathers and flapping Argyl and his raven Nevermore appear. Seeing the condition of Blaze’s Shoulder.)

Argyl: “Hmmm……that’s the first injury you’ve had in a while.”

Blaze: “Yeah, he surprised me because I didn’t take him seriously. That WON’T happen again!”

Argyl: “Let’s hope not. Especially if you plan on accepting this!”

(Scene: Argyl then hands Blaze a letter with the society seal, a dragon around an eye gem.)

Blaze: “Well, this takes me back!”

Argyl: “Just open it.”

(Scene: The opened letter reads: “Dear Blaze, I’ve noticed great potential within you as you’ve hunted down these amateurs. Yet, you lack structure and discipline. Sometimes the only way to force these traits is dropping a great responsibility in one’s lap. Such as, an invitation to become a Proud Soul. Not just a regular but a leader of a Souls Unit. It would honor me for you to accept.

Sincerely, Mr. Koji)

Blaze: “Is this…..is this for real!?”

Argyl: “Yes, it’s quite real. The Seeing Souls have monitored your progress for some time now. From the reports Koji thinks the position is perfect for you.”

Blaze: “It’s just, I’ve been dreaming of this for a while now, and…..now that I’m actually faced with the decision it’s a lot to consider.”

Argyl: “Understandable. The Rouge Souls you’d be hunting as a Proud Soul are two times or more strong than you currently hunt. Also you’d be uprooted from your current home to a more secure home of our choosing. Finally any and all monetary needs would be met by the Society.”

Blaze: “That last bit sounds nice, but….leaving my home, and having others depend on me sounds tough.”

Argyl: “You’d be a fool not to give it some thought. Know this however, Mr. Koji has personally vouched for you. This hardly ever happens, but when it does you can be sure it’s with good reason. Mr. Koji Never acts without thinking out every possible consequence first. You have until tomorrow.”

(Scene: Saying this he vanishes with Fig in a cloud of feathers.)

Ember: “Lets head home for now. We can think about it there.”

Blaze: “Yeah, you’re right.”

(Scene: In Mister Koji’s office now: Argyl appears knelt before a big desk where Koji sits, his face obscured by dark the figure of a dragon sleeping behind him against a wall of windows behind the desk.)

Argyl: “I’ve delivered the invitation”

Koji: “Very good. His brash nature and blind bravery are a front to how truly unsure he is of himself. That may be the cause of his arrogance. Regardless he will accept…..and he will grow immensely.”

Argyl: “Either way he only has till tomorrow, but you’ve never been wrong before.”

Koji: “Perfect. You are dismissed. Go find his first teammate.”

Argyl: “Yes sir”

(Scene: bowing deeply he disappears again. Koji turns toward the dragon his face still being cut off, he looks down)

Koji: “His growth will be most interesting to watch eh, Thaimat?”

Thaimat: “*grunt*”

(Scene: Back at Blaze’s treehouse home)

Blaze: “I can’t believe it, The Proud Souls! Head of my own unit….”

Ember: “You were just complaining about these amateur lists being too easy”

Blaze: “Yeah, but a LEADER? Me? A loner maybe, sure! But I’m no leader.”

Ember: “You know we haven’t seen much of the world, perhaps you underestimate yourself?”

Blaze: “Maybe……we have been alone a long time.”

Ember: “Familiarity however comfortable will never beget change. Only change causes growth.”

Blaze: “I DO want to become stronger….”

Ember: “Then accept the offer. We’ll see new places, meet new friends, and possibly gain new strength.”

Blaze: “A-+ND have all our bills paid FOR us” (snickering)

Ember (laughing): “Yes there IS that too I suppose.”

Blaze: “I’ll get to travel, make friends, and help the world? Who could say no to that job?”

Ember: “Good. We should pack.”

Blaze: “Yes, I think we should. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

(Scene: Blaze and Ember stand on the deck of their treehouse home fondly admiring it they turn bags and luggage at their heels to see Argyl appear)

Argyl: “So. Have you given it some thought?”

Blaze: “Yeah, a lot. I’ve decided to do it. I want to see what else there is out there, and how strong I am. Plus, it would be rude to mister Koji having placed his faith in me.”

Argyl: “I’m glad to hear that you feel that way. I’ve known you since you were a boy you’ll make The Society proud.”

Blaze: “Aw shucks! Don’t go soft on me!”

Argyl (chuckling): “My apologies…….Now; I will explain how it all works and take you to your new home.”

Blaze: “Explain how what works?

Argyl: “Yes. Well you see there are 3 major divisions of The Society of Myth. The Seeing Souls which monitor the world for news of Rouge Souls, and who also do our spying. They are the ones who watched your progress and reported it to Koji”

Blaze: “I was being watched!?”

Argyl: “Don’t feel bad most users are monitored somewhat to make sure the world stays balanced. At any rate, the next group is the Inquisitive Souls. These are our scientists, mechanics, inventors, and all around researchers. They also keep our lore dating back to the dawn of mankind. Finally, there are the Proud Souls, which your are now a member of. These users risk their lives in teams called “units” in order to guarantee peace in the world. Despite those Rouge Souls who wish to abuse their gift. These Units get assignments from handlers around twice a month.”

Blaze: “A MONTH!?

Argyl: “Yes, many of these tasks will take days, even weeks to complete. You must realize this is no amateur list these Rouges know how to hide their presence and they do it well.”

Blaze: “Ah, ok. Then I have a question. Which of the branches are you and Mr. Koji?”

Argyl: “Good question. We along with one other user are called the Cerberus. The “Three-heads of The Society”. We lead the Seeing Souls. Us along with the head of the Inquisitive Souls, and the top ranking Proud Soul leaders, make up the Societies governing body.”

Blaze: “So what rank will I be?”

Argyl: “You well start at Novice, as you gain notability and new members you will be given harder tasks. Complete a difficult task or show great promise, and we will reward you a new rank. All the way up to Master Souls. Master Souls help run the Society and insure the safety of the entire world, their powers are immense. Right now there are only two. That’s how rare the position is given. Now that that’s explained shall we go?”

Blaze: “That’s a lot to take in, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Yeah, we can go.”

(Scene: Taking one last somber look back at their home Ember and Blaze disappear with Argyl. Reappearing outside a rural apartment in Japan)

Argyl: “Welcome home.”

Blaze: “What!? This whole place!?”

Argyl: “Of course. You won’t be alone long. You’ll have a team remember?”

Blaze: “Oh yeah! So…..where are my teammates?”

Argyl: “Most Proud Souls pick their own unit by hand out of friends or through hiring channels. But, since you have lived as a loner for most your life your options are low. Which is why me and Koji have picked your first teammate and Co-Captain for you.”

Blaze: “Whoa REALLY!? Is he strong?”

Argyl: “Oh yes, most likely in ways you might not understand. Look this over and I’ll go fetch him”

(Scene: Argyl hands Blaze a Seer’s Sheet a page with information on a User collected by the Society)

Blaze: “My first teammate…..”

(Scene: The last shot is a black outline of a body and the name Eugene at the top of the page)

[ktrxs]

6.16.19

Yo Hoe Bo

I am disoriented right now and have been for a few hours. Do you know how long it took me to have a decent sleep schedule? To go to bed before midnight, sleep while the moon is out and actually wake up in the morning?

A long ass time. I’ve been sleeping perfectly and awesomely and well for MONTHS. Literal months. And I have been so happy that I go to bed around 11 and wake up before 10am. It’s been GREAT!

Well, let me tell you how I’m currently fucked. and how a girl named Carrie double fucked me over.

She fucked me so hard that the fucking will have a lasting effect on my sleep schedule. She’s that good, folks.

(also Tumblr., I need that linebreak back.)

------------------- (<-- ugh)

So, last week I schedule two showings. One on Sunday at 9am and one on Monday at 1pm.

We also planned to go to Bmore to FINALLY deliver the coffee table to Leah and to start on my art project. 

- Side note: my art project is me visiting every single place I lived, taking a picture and then drawing the inside floor plans of what I can remember.

I also had work and a deadline at 2:42am Sunday morning. Look, I don’t make the deadlines. That’s why it’s early AM and is 2:42. Not 2:40. Not 2:45, but 2:42. ANYWAY....

We also needed time to clean, get sleep to wake up early for the showing AND rescue a cat.

So the schedule was:

SATURDAY

8AM - wake the fuck up

9AM - Drive to Bmore

11AM - Arrive in Bmore, do things

7PM - Leave Bmore

9PM - Arrive home and clean

10PM - Do assignment for me

SUNDAY

12AM - Submit assignment and SLEEP

8AM - wake the fuck up and last minute clean

9AM - show the house and sell the house on the spot

Here’s how Saturday went: 

9AM - Br finally decides to wake up

10AM - We start driving to Bmore

12PM - Bmore and things

9PM - Leave fucking bmore and decide it’s an all-nighter fo sho

11PM - Arrive home, fall asleep while typing the assignment

1AM - Finally submit assignment and determine that allnighters suck and there’s a better way! We go to sleep NOW. Wake up at 7AM. 6 hours of sleep is better than 0. THEN clean like hell for two hours.

GOOD PLAN RIGHT?

6:30AM - I wake up, eyes burn like hell, head says no, body dead.

7AM - literally fight with Brandon over who needs to get out of bed first so the other one can get out of bed. Then we clean.

8:40AM - Miss fucking Carrie texts me and cancels the showing.

Carrie you fucking vile bitch.

Not only did she fuck me by forcing me to wake up early and clean for her ass, but she also fucked me by throwing off my sleep schedule. Because at 

11AM - Fall asleep on couch and don’t wake up until 3pm.

Fuck you, Carrie.

Also this is all in Eastern time. I couldn’t fathom the Central numbers.

Also the showing for tomorrow canceled as well. At least Jeanette had the fucking decency to cancel more than 24 hours beforehand. Can we give a big round of applause for Jeanette?

-------

It’s fine. I’m fine. But I am salty. I wanted to send her a worded text message, but if there’s a chance she’ll give me coin, I’ll be nice. Ugh if I didn’t want this house to sell asap, I would fucking rip her a new one.

Still salty.

---------

I am going to use this time to get to work. I am probably going to be nocturnal for a while and I’m pissed, yes, but not scared. The night soothes me and it’s my natural element. Maybe I can get my ass on a roll with the moon.

I need to sit down and work. I’ve been avoiding my laptop. I feel that I am behind. That I’ll never catch up. It’s funny thinking this way. Like I’m soooooooo old at 24. That people younger than me are killing it and I feel like shit over that.

I have to stop comparing myself to them. My journey has been very very different.

So, I’m going to get some work done while I’m nocturnal. And see what happens.

I want to create a mini app where its a tiny log of your productivity day.

Just:

Exercise:

Worked on:

Learned: 

Read:

Every success, productivity, self-improvement book I have ever read (And I have read A LOT), tells me that every day you should read, learn and exercise on top of your actual work.

Exercise is good to keep you healthy, relieve stress and help you think through difficult problems.

Continuously learning new things and skills will keep you on top of your career, make you more marketable and advance you to new heights. So, always be studying something or always have a class you’re attending.

Reading every day helps expand your mind and vocabulary as well as teaches you skills. Nonfiction books are recommended to help your life. And yes, reading a book that teaches you something can count in the learning section. So go get personal finance, nutrition, career success, personal development, business or any other book in your field.

Fiction books are great too to help relieve stress and to focus on a different world for a while! 

------------

I’m cooking Chinese food today. I have the rice cooking. Vegetables steamed. And I'm going to make eggrolls and throw everything together. Get in my stomach.

I also finally made Dr. Greger’s drink after collecting ingredients for months lol. It’s very tart because I halved the erythritol he said to use. I only did so because I got powdered and not granulated. So, I figure halve it?

The recipe calls for 8tsp, so next time I’ll use 6tsp and see what’s up.