#and Pike is in charge of the wedding cake and dinner

[tinderbox210]

La'an: Spock and I- Una: Are getting married? La'an: No, we- Una hands Pike a binder Pike: Sit down, we've planned out the entire thing.

[gracieminabox]

@nerdqueenenterprise​ did her “50 headcanons” for Chris and Phil and, well, I got inspired to do mine, too.

(Why yes, I should be doing homework right now; why do you ask?)

Cut because looooong.

What does their bedroom look like? Phil owns his own house, an unassuming bungalow just outside the BOQ complex, where Chris’ last apartment is. After the Narada, when Chris can no longer manage the seven-floor walkup, he moves in with Phil. (Years later, they think about buying their own house together; surprisingly, it’s Chris who’s too attached to the bungalow to want to leave it.) Their bedroom is on the far west side of the house. It’s larger than the guest room, but still not ridiculously big, and has hardwood floors with several plush Bajoran rugs (Phil got most of them as gifts from the traditional midwives with whom he apprenticed while completing his fellowship). Their bed is enormous, with a wrought-iron, slatted headboard, matching end tables, and two large wardrobes. Chris sleeps closer to the door to the room, Phil to his left; there’s a decent-sized window to Phil’s left. There’s an en suite bathroom there, too, with pale green tile and lots of brushed steel furnishings. 

Do they have any daily rituals? As long as they’re together, kissing one another awake. Phil makes breakfast while Chris reads the news. They take turns in the shower (except when they don’t have to go into the office, when they can get aware with sharing the space, if you know what I mean). Whenever they can - they try to make it a daily thing, but can’t always - one will bring the other coffee mid-morning and/or they’ll have lunch together. At night, they go to bed at the same time, and sex or not, they always kiss goodnight.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often? Phil’s exercise regimen is focused largely on flexibility. He does tons of yoga and alien variants thereof, and he swims and weight trains.  Chris’ exercise regimen is fast and furious. He runs, he weight trains, he swims, he rides horses, he surfs, he does it all. After the Narada, obviously, his exercise routine must change considerably; swimming becomes his primary form of exercise, and he lets Phil teach him some yoga, too.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy? Chris is not allowed within two meters of the kitchen under any circumstances. It’s a public safety matter, really. He can go near the replicator and the coffee maker, and that’s it. So the kitchen will never be busy, because it’ll be Phil in there, virtually always.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) Chris is meticulous about hygiene, but in terms of his living environment, he’s not particularly neat. Phil is neater than he is, but he’s not a nag about it. Chris is in charge of laundry, doing dishes, and when they get a dog, feeding her; Phil’s in charge of cooking, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathroom. (Sample conversation: “Will you ever aim your scrub top into the hamper properly, Dr. Boyce?”/“D’you really want to talk about aim while I’m cleaning the bathroom, Admiral Pike?”)

Eating habits and sample daily menu They’re both pretty healthy eaters. Chris is more prone to forgetting to eat if he’s working his ass off on some kind of project. At breakfast, they both drink coffee, Chris with an obscene amount of sugar in it, Phil with milk. When they don’t have a lot of time, they usually eat cereal, yogurt, or a piece of fruit; when there’s more time to play with, Phil makes bacon and eggs. (Phil’s a vegetarian, but makes an exception for bacon, because bacon is Chris’ favorite food.) On special mornings, maybe pancakes or French toast. Lunch is, all too often, whatever they can grab - a sandwich in the Academy cafeteria, leftovers from last night’s dinner, that little baggie of pretzels hidden in the bottom desk drawer. They both try to remember to pack something a little more filling, but whether or not they actually do is anybody’s guess. For dinner, either Phil cooks - usually something simple, like pasta primavera or loaded baked potatoes - or they get takeout. There’s a pizza place on the Academy grounds that delivers until 0300. Phil developed a taste for Andorian fusion food when he was doing his fellowship and turns Chris on to it too. On special nights, they go out to dinner.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time Chris has a tendency to feel guilty about not working, but Phil, who knows Chris’ workaholic tendencies well, reminds him that he’s a workaholic who has earned a break, and that the time he enjoys wasting is not wasted time. Chris swims, plays guitar, watches TV, and sometimes just sits there talking and laughing with Phil. Phil wastes time by trying new recipes that he’s not so sure about.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging Phil’s favorite indulgence is sweets. He has a sweet tooth, even though he tries not to indulge it very often. He always does when they go out to dinner, though; the little place up the road makes a sinful tres leches cake. Chris’ is also food based, but he favors a good steak. There is nothing better than a perfectly medium rare piece of synthetically-grown beef.

Makeup? Neither of them wear makeup, unless they’re covering up bite marks and hickeys left by the other.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? Chris definitely has a higher neurotic component than Phil does, although even Chris’ is pretty chill. He’s just more prone to anxiety, especially when he’s young. He’s better at recognizing it now than he used to be.

Intellectual pursuits? They’re many and varied. Phil loves his chosen fields, but he likes to dip into areas outside his typical daily practice; that’s why he knew who Leonard McCoy was when Chris first recruited him, from browsing neuro journals. Chris has always been interested in humanitarian aid and how to most effectively mobilize for its delivery; he became much more so after Tarsus.

Favorite book genre? Phil will read whatever, as long as the characters draw him in. He loves medical mysteries, for obvious reasons. Chris loves psychological thrillers and dystopian novels, and if you mention his small collection of romance novels, he will deny it to his dying day.

Sexual orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general? Phil is bi. He knew he was in first grade, when he got a crush on a boy in his class, and told his mom. She just smiled and ruffled his hair and said they’d talk about that in a couple of years. Chris thought he was a garden-variety heterosexual until his early forties, after Divorce #2, when he realized he had feelings for Phil. It took him a few uncomfortable years to adjust to the idea of (a) being attracted to his best friend and (b) being attracted to a man at all. He rarely slaps a label on it, but he’s bi. They are both aggressively “live and let live” regarding who’s sexual with whom and to what degree.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.) Chris’ mobility issues are the most obvious item. When he’s having a particularly bad pain day, he uses a wheelchair; on “average” days, he uses his cane. Every once in a while, he has a particularly good day and can manage without his cane, though this is fairly uncommon. His kidneys are still a little fragile as a result of the rhabdomyolysis he experienced while recovering from the Narada experience, and within a few years he has to take a daily medication to maintain optimal kidney function. He’s got several food allergies, notably to fruits; among the known ones are cantaloupe, cranberry, and mango. Phil doesn’t have much in the way of any of these things. He maintains exceptional health his entire life. He does have a mild allergy to an enzyme used in some dessicated Vulcan foods, including protein nibs, but the worst he gets if he eats them is hives.

Biggest and smallest short term goal? (This is a tough one to answer for a couple who’s been together for-fucking-ever.)

Biggest and smallest long term goal? Grow old together.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress Uniforms for work, obviously. Phil favors wearing a lab coat at the hospital, but never bothered when he was shipboard. Chris has a small pocket sewn into the inside of his command tunic into which he slipped his favorite picture of him with Phil. They both keep civilian suits, which they often wear to fancy dinners (and to their own wedding) and a fair selection of casual and athletic attire.

Favorite beverage? Phil’s favorite alcoholic beverage: martini, very dry. Phil’s favorite non-alcoholic beverage: hot orange spice tea. Chris’ favorite alcoholic beverage: whisky. Chris’ favorite non-alcoholic beverage: water.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night? Mostly about their plans for tomorrow, always with at least a little spared thought for each other. (Sometimes a lot of spared thought for each other, let’s be real.)

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them? Chris is fairly prone to colds and flus. When he was very young, about two or three, he got strep throat and spiked a fever so high that his mother panicked and rushed him to the emergency room, thinking he must’ve had Tarkalean flu, even though there was no reasonable way he could’ve contracted it. (The incident was one of his father’s major clues that his mother’s medication wasn’t working well anymore.) Phil is, again, exceptionally healthy. He did break his clavicle falling off his bike when he was first learning to ride. When he was eleven, he fell through the ice on the makeshift ice rink on the pond in the backyard; his eldest brother, Charlie, pulled him out of the freezing water and got him inside and warmed up before any harm could befall him.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs? Too many to give a comprehensive list, buuut... Phil’s turn-ons include the way Chris smells after he’s just taken a shower or after he’s just worked out (yes, the smells are different, shut up), the way Chris’ hair gets so much curlier when it’s wet or when it’s humid outside, and the sound of Chris’ voice. Chris’ turn-ons include Phil’s many kinds of smiles (soft, sly, sexy, giddy, pensive, open, loving), how Phil’s hair flops down over his eyes no matter what he does to stop it, and literally everything about Phil’s hands. Their mutual turn-offs, in general, are arrogance, xenophobia (or any other bullshit marginalizing viewpoint), and willful ignorance.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil and nothing to do, what would happen? Chris would probably doodle starships. Phil would probably doodle nonsensical shapes and start shading them differently.

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life? Chris is very organized at the office and not even a little bit organized at home. His home office is, as he calls it, “an organized pigsty.” Phil is not allowed to move things in the office. Phil does, however, have permission to, for example, clear Chris’ crap off the kitchen table before they eat, or pick up Chris’ dirty socks, or put the cap back on Chris’ toothpaste. Phil is considerably neater than Chris is at home, but at work, he’d forget his own name if he weren’t wearing it around his neck. His assistant at Medical, Martha, is the one with a memory like a steel trap; she’s a fixer of things and Phil’s right hand.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all? They’re both brilliant, and were brilliant students. Everything came naturally to Phil (he was one of those students who did well without having to study), but his favorite subjects were biology and English. Chris’ best subjects were physics and analytical geometry, but his favorites were the social sciences.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today? Safe and happy, on Earth, in their little bungalow, with a garden and a dog and an in-ground pool in the backyard where Chris can do his exercises and a greenhouse where Phil can grow orchids and Jim and Len come over for dinner three times a week.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t work out? Phil asks Chris this, after Jim’s back and Chris is recovering from the Daystrom attack. He asks Chris what he wants. Chris thinks about it, and ultimately decides that what he wants most is to grow old with Phil. He has to make peace with the fact that he can’t go into space again, not in his physical condition; and that, plus the fact that his Starfleet career’s put his life in danger on a regular basis lately, means that Starfleet’s lost a lot of its allure for him. Maybe he’ll semi-retire. Maybe he’ll totally retire. Maybe he’ll just teach. Who knows? His priorities have changed, though, and what he really wants now is to be a good partner to Phil. Phil liked space travel just fine, but it wasn’t a driving force for him like it was for Chris, so he can happily do without it. He wants to continue to be useful to as many people as he can, and he can do that for as many species as possible while with Starfleet, so his plans are to stay dirtside at Medical and keep helping people until he can’t anymore. (And, of course, to grow old with Chris.)

What is their biggest regret? Chris’ is waiting so long to figure out his feelings for Phil and depriving them of all that time they could’ve been a couple. Phil tells him time and time again not to let that bother him - after all, they’re together now, and that’s what matters - but it still nags at Chris. Phil doesn’t believe in regrets.

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?  They are each other’s best friend and have been forever. Other than each other, Phil would say his best friend is his elder sister Sarah. Chris’ is his high school best friend Erin. Both would also consider Number One an extremely close friend. Worst enemy? Nero and Khan both duke it out for the top spot.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?) They both manage crisis for a living. They figure out what has to be done and they do it. They feel emotions about the crisis, but they shelve them until what has to be done gets done. They wait until they’re in a private space before they let their emotions show.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies) Chris’ immediate reaction is to fall back on practicality. He needs something to do. It’ll be days of relative catatonia before he actually feels the emotions full-force. Phil’s immediate reaction is shock, followed by tears.

Most prized possession? Chris’ is Vince’s class ring. He didn’t find out what had happened to his grandfather’s Starfleet class ring until after his grandmother had died, when he went back to the Mojave ranch house for the first time in decades and started sifting through what was there. It was in an envelope, in a closet, with Chris’ name on it in Vince’s handwriting. Chris put it on and then never took it off. Phil doesn’t have a prized possession until he and Chris get married. Then it’s his wedding ring.

Thoughts on material possessions in general? They like things, but they can also do without things. Does that make sense? Like, they’re certainly not materialistic, but they also aren’t entirely immaterialistic. They value what possessions they have, and when trying to get something new, always want something high in quality, no matter what it is.

Concept of home and family? Chris has a dysfunctional family history and an insecure attachment style. Phil came from a loving, close-knit family and feels secure in his attachment. Polar opposites. Phil has to kind of lead by example, to demonstrate to Chris what a positive home and family are supposed to look like, which means Phil is an instrumental part of Chris’ concept of home.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to TMI?) Chris is more prone to what one might actually call TMI. Phil is more prone to, shall we say, socially inappropriate conversations - but without knowing it. (Discussing birthing positions in graphic detail with a riveted expectant parent while others look on in horror and Chris just winces and sips his drink.) When it really matters, though, they’re both private people. (Oh, that reminds me - Chris has instituted a list of “banned” words for when Phil is discussing his work. Membrane, for example. Placenta. Sac.)

What activities do they enjoy, but consider a waste of time? They reach a certain point in life where they don’t consider anything a waste of time, because they’re just trying to soak up their time together.

What makes them feel guilty? For Chris, it’s reflecting on how much pain he put Phil through over years of not knowing - or maybe of stopping himself from consciously knowing - how Phil felt about him. Phil refuses to participate in Chris Pike’s Self-Flagellation Hour and just gently tells him to put away the guilt. Phil’s guilt is rooted in every person he’s not been able to save.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making? Chris is almost wholly analytical in making command decisions and almost wholly emotional in making personal decisions. Phil has more balance in both professional and personal situations, incorporating not only the clinical details but also his patient’s illness narrative, their values, their social support, economics, geography, etc. into his clinical decisions.

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? Neither of them are entirely either one, but Chris leans more Type A and Phil more Type B. Chris is much more take charge, go-go-go, all go no quit never give up never surrender. Phil can absolutely be that way in a crisis, but his default is calmer, more relaxed.

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained? For Chris, it’s exercise. For Phil, it’s sleep, or cooking. For both of them, it’s sex.

Would you say that they have a superiority complex? Inferiority complex? Neither? Neither. Phil has a very realistic picture of himself. It could be argued that Chris has a mild inferiority complex, especially early in his life, but it’s more that he’s incredibly insecure, even if he pretends to be profoundly confident.

How misanthropic are they? Chris can be sometimes, when life just gets to be too much to handle. Phil virtually never is.

Hobbies? Chris plays guitar, swims, reads, and looks at the stars. (Yeah, yeah, he looks at the stars for work, too; whatever.) Phil cooks, reads, does yoga, and collects antique medical journals.

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self education? Chris graduated high school a year early to join Starfleet. He has an undergraduate degree in xenosociology, with concentrations in diplomatic relations and humanitarianism, and a Ph.D. in military strategy and tactics. Phil has two undergraduate degrees - a BS in biology and a BA in psychology - a masters of public health with a concentration in multispecies health education, and an MD. He holds three board certifications, one in ob/gyn, one in emergency medicine, and one in general surgery. They share an opinion that the important thing is that someone learns, not how someone learns. Formal education, self education, whatever - as long as they continue to learn, that’s what matters.

Religion? Both are agnostic. Chris leans atheistic, though he would stop short of using that term, and he maintains an open mind. Phil is more of a “pure” agnostic in that he doesn’t believe that the existence, or lack thereof, of a higher power is something anyone will ever be able to comprehend. Phil could absolutely be considered spiritual, though; he does believe, and pretty firmly, that something bigger than himself exists, though whether someone wants to call that “god” or just “the universe” or something else is up to them.

Superstitious or views on the occult? Neither are particularly superstitious, though they certainly respect the diversity of viewpoints they’ve encountered in their travels.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds? Both. Phil tends to be more verbal, Chris more action-based, but both of them are variable in how they express themselves.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal? Chris chronically falls in love, to habitually disastrous ends. He craves connection with others, and when he finds it, he’s determined not to let it go, even if it’s so clearly not right. The only time he hasn’t felt like he’s had to compromise something about himself in order to love another person has been with Phil. That makes Phil his ideal. Phil’s had several casual relationships with people - historically, he’s actually been with quite a few more people than Chris has - but he’s been in love exactly once. Chris is his ideal.

How do they express love? They say so. Often. They’re both pretty verbal people, especially Phil, and they both love hearing that they are loved. They touch. Often. It takes a little bit of time to adjust to physical affection in public, but once they do, hand-holding or arms around shoulders or waists or little exchanged kisses are common. They spend time together. They have date nights, they debrief and cuddle together on the couch after hard days, they go on trips together, they have dinner together every night. They exchange gifts. Chris knows Phil prefers a plasma stove to the electric one they have, so he gets him one. Phil knows Chris likes better water pressure than what he has, so he pays for upgrades. They help each other. Phil helps Chris with PT, Chris helps Phil with household chores, Phil makes dinner, Chris drives more. They ease one another’s burdens.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like? Chris is a muscled, combat-trained man. He’s gonna win most one-on-one fights. Against more than one person? He’ll hold his own, but it’s a toss-up as to how he’ll do. Phil’s a pacifist to his core and avoid fighting at any cost - he even despised carrying a phaser on away missions when he was shipboard and prided himself on never firing one after the required training at the Academy - but my dude can throw a hell of a punch if he needs to. (Charlie taught him how to, when their sister Sarah had a boyfriend who was hitting her, so they could go kick his ass. They did - though Charlie did most of the actual ass-kicking because Phil was only fourteen - and said boyfriend never came near Sarah again. Phil still doesn’t know where Charlie learned how to fight that well.)

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not? Chris is. He accepts it as an inevitability, and the risk of death as an occupational hazard; but when he’s been close to death before, yeah, he’s definitely been afraid. Phil’s not afraid of death as a concept. He just hates the idea of being without Chris.