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#and I've been SICK the WHOLE TIME I have BEEN HERE
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Toxic// Park Seonghwa Teaser
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Paring: NonIdol!Park Seonghwa x Black!FemaleReader.
Warning: Cheating (please don’t cheat on anyone!) Explicit scenes, oral female and male receiving, Degrading, praising, mutual pining, second chance maybe. Jealousy
Summary: The universe has a sick sense of humor. One of your best friend’s exes awakes from the depths of hell and ex-boyfriend Park Seonghwa appears a few days later.
Walking into the party seeing Jongho and Mingi playing beer pong with San and Wooyoung I walked over to them. Stepping through the crowd I bumped into someone,
"Oh shit I'm so sorry," I said loudly so they can hear me
"Y/n?!" I heard a familiar voice say I look up I look up to see Park Seonghwa my ex-boyfriend with his arm wrapped around some girl.
"Seonghwa! Hey, how are you?" I asked looking over at Wooyoung who was facing me. Hoping he can save me from this awkward moment.
"I've been good! This is my girlfriend Amber." He said, she waved and smiled. I waved back. Why is he introducing me like I'm his friend? We are far from friends. Before I can introduce myself he says
"This is my Ex-girlfriend Y/n" My eyes widened now I'd never been put in a position like this ever in my life. I don't have an issue with her knowing about me being his ex, but it's the way he said it. Like some intent behind the statement I just stood there shocked.
"Y/n!" I heard a yell and turned my head in the direction it came from seeing it was Wooyoung who then came over and grabbed me pulling me away from the weird encounter.
"What was that about?"
"I don't know"
Looking behind me, eyes meeting he smiled and winked at me then continued doing whatever he was doing. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about him. I expect to see him here. Jongho handed me a drink and I graciously took it. Deciding that maybe after tonight I may not see him again and I'm okay with that.
It was 2:30 when I got home and I'm now sitting on the couch watching 'White Collar' Eating a burger and some fries when my phone rang. Not paying attention to caller ID I answered.
"Open the door" Was all I got when I answered the phone I walked to the door opening it. There he was panting, hanging up the phone still looking at Seonghwa he stepped in I took a step back. He growled kicking the door closed grabbing me pushing my back against it kissing me. His kiss was rough and full of need. My mind clouded and the only thing that was on it was him. How much I missed him. How much my body craved him.
"Fuck, I miss you bunny" He groaned against my lips grinding against me. Biting his lip I pulled away panting. Staring in his eyes they were filled with lust.
"Prove it," I said
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beetlebip · 1 year
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the universe is having a kick me while I'm down competition with itself
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skrunksthatwunk · 3 days
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they didn't need to make crying so physically gross. not to be bitter or anything but no one should have to experience emotion snot first
#guess who got yelled at today lol#for something that was my fault but Did Not warrant screaming at me and also didn't so much strike a nerve#as clamp a hot curling iron on it and hold it there#like yes i forgot to do something again and it led to inconvenience/suffering for someone in my care. again.#it's a theme of mine. while we're here do you wanna talk about how much i love letting y'all drive me around everywhere and pay for#everything and how cool it is to know i have no future in the things you encouraged me in and instead could only possibly survive by#continuing to leech off of the people who care about me? how they either give me shit for accepting the help they insulted me for not takin#or continue to help like it's nothing and how the latter feels worse?#about how i can't do anything for myself or for others and how that bonelessness leads me to get just close enough to others for them#to think they can rely on me only for me to collapse bc of yk. the termites and rot and stuff.#about how i feel like i was born this sickly runt who should've died within a few days but i was swept up and coddled#but if the coddlers didn't acknowledge the sickness to begin with and started throwing stuff at me if i showed symptoms#i don't like being unreliable. it's something i've been thinking about a lot lately but i think that's the part that made this the worst#im letting my friends down. and they're gonna be so damn nice about it but im hurting them and i can't stop#and i don't even know if there's a sickness to begin with. it's not like my parents see it and they're kinda important in the whole#keeping me alive while i figure out the sickness thing. which could be forever. i don't think they're gonna wait forever y'know?#not MY parents. ughh. my whole reason for getting off my ass and trying to help myself was bc it'd make my friends sad if they knew how#bad i was hurting. but now it's summer and i don't see them even when it would mean a lot to them to see them and that drive's just. weaker#i got help and it drained me and then it didn't even work out. but now my parents are acting like it should all be magically fixed#well. it's more like they never acknowledged the problem in the first place. god they didn't even ASK me what was happening#pov your kid comes up to you and is like hey i think im depressed and i haven't said anything for like 6-10 years but i wanna see a doctor#and you go cool no further questions + i am no longer going to think about it. idek if i WANTED to talk about it but nothing? really.#im not gonna kms and ive committed to that but if they give me a sink or swim ultimatum then i won't fucking have to#and they will. or they'll try and then bow out and act like nothing happened and still won't believe me anyway#im not saying i want them to give up on me but telling me i should just do better and im making excuses Is Not Ever Going To Fix Things#they say i can always come to them but act like im insulting them every time i don't magically get better or even just ask for help#in ways they don't wanna give. point is im sick of their shit tonight. mostly my dad bc at least my mom picked up on the wounded animal#vibe. ughh anyway it also occurred to me that i have not in fact given up on my father but instead am trying really really hard#which is annoying and unnerving tbh. i thought we went over this i thought we were good? sighh#nyarla dni
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lisxdumbr · 2 months
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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chappellrroan · 5 months
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it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames
#preacher's daughter both family tree songs#how she says in family tree “heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before”#and western nights “i would hold the gun if you asked me to but if you love me like you say you do will you ask me to?”#the whole house in nebraska song UGH#the outro of hard times i am tired of you still tied to me bleeding whenever you want too tired to move to tired to leave#american teenager gracie's cover i love you so so so so much i do it for daddy and i do it for dale i am doing what i want DAMN i am doing#it well#ptolemaea that stop scream i am the face of love's rage blessed be the daughters of cain bound to suffering eternal through sins of their#fathers commited long before their conception that whole outro in general#i tried to be good am i no good? am i no good? am i no good?....i just wanted to be yours? am i yours? am i yours?...if i am turning in you#stomach and making you feel sick am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? am i making you feel sick? is just SO AGH#also god loves you but not enough to save you I FORGIVE IT ALL AS IT COMES BACK TO ME#we know how it goes the more it hurts the less it shows but i feel like they all know and that's why i can never come back home and i spent#my life watching it go by from the sidelines and god i have tried but i think it's about time i put up a fight#and the instrumental songs their production is so so good#anyways yeah now i feel better if anyone is reading till here go listen to it thanks <3#it's great for people with family issues#v.txt
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 7 months
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gamers has this been done yet
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Saying you can host Thanksgiving when you're the planner in your relationship and you work in a retail-adjacent career is really just digging your own grave.
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sudokuplayer · 2 months
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#anyway#maybe it is a bit of pms
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microwavepopcorn · 1 year
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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Final. Fantasy.
#🌙.rambles#oh no. i accidentally ended up rambling so much on my priv twt bcs of drk. again 😭😭#i think that's uhm enough for tonight though bcs i shld srs sleep soon (will definitely not but Still)#looking at old notes i have other ff quotes here n. vivi. sob. i rlly. rlly. want to replay ffix soon#this is embarrassing reading these n i srs see how much ff has influenced me. it's actually. really really embarrassing#my attention span help#ffxiv eden's promise. specifically promises to keep oh my god it's so. perfect. it's. heaven. to my ears.#i miss raiding T_T#NOOOOO SORRY MY ATTENTION SPAN JUST CHECKED MY SWITCH RQ#my aunt indeed has chrono cross the radical dreamers edition & girl oh my god that 225 hours on octopath#i. am just listening to music rn i cannot write i'll just do more later yeah FR THIS TIME#fr though just. i miss raiding so much. i rmb me n apollo being so woah bcs like. our static back on twintania had ppl from over europe ofc#from uk to france to germany. n some had turkish blood too iirc. damn i still rmb the accents oh my god.#apollo n i were like around 14 when we were raiding. which is pretty impressive oh my god we cleared the whole of eden's promise#i rmb how they'd ask how school was 🥺 n our fc/static lead was so kind i rmb how he'd check up on us too#I STILL RMB LIKE. smth like 'you two have been sick a lot lately' & 'you good? :c' or smth.#n then awww the way they'd say gn bcs we used to raid till 12 am n apollo n i had school yeah#i'm. really happy w my improvement. from sprout drk me i was so anxious to tank n now look i've cleared uwu <3#i miss the old twintania static. honestly i still wish that. i cld've unmuted even once yk? but. anxiety.#my social anxiety was really so bad back in 2021 but i guess i had to manage yk. ffxiv rlly helped a lot goddamn#i miss those days a lot. but i'll cry if i think more on that n of other stuff too so i'll just sleep soon#i. genuinely do know that i ramble too much but. actually nvm i'll ramble even more if i say that#i'll just. leave this at here. i'm really going to organize myself this week#sigh i wanted to do. more before i slept. like work on smth rq or. idk. but nah. anxiety. i'm tired. nah. gn#my playlists r a mess my notes r a mess heck even my room is a mess n i look like a mess n my mind is. even more of a mess#but being self-deprecating isn't.. really me but. oh no if i go on i'll ramble to myself abt my dilemmas again fuck this i need to shut up#rn at least i just need my mind to shut up. n oh in the end i guess tonight i won't rlly be able to do anything again but#nooo fuck it i'll just end it at that. so much to do.. so much to think about. but. nah sorry tonight i think i'm too tired. sorry#tbd
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slippery-minghus · 1 year
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ughhhh my coworker who i have to sit stupidly close to just tested positive. and he literally messaged me this morning hemming and hawing about coming in, but he didn't want to waste his pto. he shouldve fuckin stayed home. and the county literally just lifted the mask mandate for doctors offices on monday afternoon. if i get sick i'm gonna be so fuckin pissed
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cinnamonsikwate · 3 months
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they say only idiots catch colds in the summer....and i guess i am an idiot bc what do you MEAN i'm sniffling & body aching when the heat index has been in the high 30s the past week & i've barely been outside like genuinely WHERE did this virus come from????
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ikyw-t · 4 months
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I have a number of qualms about what it means to be a woman, both physically as well as in society, but at the top of my list is definitely the fact that on days preceeding and during my period I will invariably feel very depressed/hopeless/anxious/tired/antisocial and just be in a bad mood for days on end and for no apparent reason. it took me until my early twenties to realize the cause of this somehow but even so it is just so frustrating to feel this way every month, regardless of how well I'm doing beforehand. like why must I suffer through this every month. what's the point. like whyyyyyyy. I hate it here and I hate it even more so once I realized I'm actually not that naturally depressed as a person. except for every single month without fail I am for a few days. it's just so frustrating bc I know I'll feel this way every month and yet it doesn't make me feel that way any less. ugh.
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momochiiee-reblogs · 5 months
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Welp, today it's been productive
Doodled a bit, played just dance for about an hour, took care of myself, made some pasta, finished a silly thing and somehow even had time to take a litol nap in between, plus helping a friend by beating her Genshin weekly bosses
All in all, I am proud, cuz having the head clear enough to do anything more than wake up and survive, isn't the norm despite how much I wished it was
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fingertipsmp3 · 8 months
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Girl help I don't understand my homework
#so the assignment i've just finished (well sort of) was to create a html form. fine; great#i also had to style it in bootstrap. okay. add some validation. yep; all fine#but then. but then i had to check that the information inputted had been submitted somewhere and could be retrieved#which normally would be fine but it's on my eleventy blog which is menacingly gigantic and messy#i also don't really understand what .md or .njk or .php files are#i tried to copy what sam (classmate i have a crush on) did but not be too obvious with it but i don't think that worked either#which begs the question of whether or not sam even managed to figure it out#i wish i could ask him but leading with 'hey i'm the person who's been going through all your github repos in incognito mode.#does your form work' does not seem like the move#anyway i submitted a mostly nonfunctional form because i don't care anymore. kick me off the course i dare you to do it. i want you to do i#i swear to god some higher power does not want me to become a web developer. the amount of shit that has happened to me this past six weeks#is like biblical. like did anyone have my sister dying; my dog becoming so senile that she needs to be put down;#my best friend getting robbed & me getting sick on their october bingo. because i sure didn't#and on top of it all i'm trying to comprehend javascript. like it's not... it's not the vibe#i'd quit but then i'd just be here doing fuckall and also i'm way too stubborn to quit#there's a part of me that's like. back in august i didn't even know what html and css were and now i'm creating whole ass pages with them#i'm also a fucking boss with git/github now. it damn near had me in tears when i first learned about it#so yeah i Can learn javascript but there isn't really time to learn everything i need to learn#because i fucked around too much and now i'm finding out!#i really feel like i should've told the guidance person about my problems last week when we had that meeting but it was like... i didn't#want to cry over ms teams in front of this person i barely know. so i was just like 'yeah i'm fine'#honestly halfway tempted to ask if i can join next month's cohort when they start and just get a do-over. it's literally a free course#or drop out and do a scrimba bootcamp instead. or drop out and never think about web development again.#drop out and run away to eastern europe to teach english. drop out and go get high in amsterdam until the money runs out and i have to work#in a ski lodge or something to stay alive. hm. hmmmmm#personal
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planetpiastri · 3 months
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pairing: lando norris x fem!australian!reader [no faceclaim] summary: honestly, you kind of expected this part-time gig to just be four days of pure chaos that gave you an excuse to see an f1 race up close. then some guy in the fanzone complimented your shoes, and the rest is history. notes: requested by anon!! this has been sitting in my drafts for aaaaages, sorry love <3 y'all are so brave for putting up with me while i try and remember how tf to write these uhhh yeah this one took a turn hope u like it anyway LMFAO
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liked by oscarpiastri, ynusername, and 13,024 others
ausgp Arriving in style! The lads looked great at the Melbourne Walk today 🤩🤩
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username1 lewis and zhou are absolutely slaying!! and oscar is also there
ynusername oscar i love you but you gotta step up your game mate, i wanna wear your merch so bad but it is UGLY!!
landonorris excuse me ausgp i think my fit was deserving of recognition in this post :(
ausgp Can't compete with the hometown hero 🤷‍♂️ landonorris but daniel isn't in this either ? oscarpiastri You're funny.
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landonorris
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liked by mclaren, ausgp, and 811,364 others
landonorris he shoots, he scores! thanks for such a warm welcome melbourne :)
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oscarpiastri You and I have different definitions of scoring I think
landonorris ever heard of playing the long game? oscarpiastri Nurse he's out again
username2 where's the worker with the shoes i think they're indirecting her
username3 GET THIS MAN THE SHOE LADY'S DIGITS
maxfewtrell Now that's just uncalled for
ausgp Love to see the spirit 😉
username4 aww lando always looks so happy in melbourne, he loves it here :'))
ynusername oh wtf
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liked by ausgp, yourfriend, and others
ynusername busy busy busy day, absolutely buggered, but very excited for tomorrow 😁 (also peep The Shoes on the last slide)
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yourfriend i mean... he's right, they are sick shoes
ynusername you're just saying that cos you made me buy them yourfriend well yes!
username5 omg are u the girl who was working the fanzone today??
ynusername i was one of them!
username6 ok if this is the shoe lady i don't blame lando for staring she's so pretty omg
yourfriend "the shoe lady" ynusername i've been titled?????
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ynusername
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liked by yourfriend, landonorris, and others
ynusername weirdest work day ever (included today's shoes bc apparently it's a thing now)
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yourfriend that wrap was good as hell tho
ynusername deffo the most exciting part of lunch
username7 wait who is this girl and why does lando follow her?
username8 go to lovestruckln on twitter, she has a whole thread about it!
landonorris ...weird in a good way, right?
username9 your lack of rizz is astounding lando username10 bro STAND UP ynusername weird in an interesting way landonorris i'll take that
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landonorris
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liked by ynusername, ausgp, and 1,011,023 others
landonorris melb, you have my ❤️
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username11 SHOE GIRLLLLLL
username12 i hope they never hard launch and he just keeps posting pics of cool sneakers
georgerussell63 You're welcome
charles_leclerc You did it, you crazy son of a bitch ausgp Where's our credit?? georgerussell63 You put the pieces in play, I moved them into checkmate ynusername you threw a shoe at me. calm down. ausgp He what???
username13 bro's collecting aussies like infinity stones
danielricciardo ?? oscarpiastri No ynusername :// landonorris 😁😁
ynusername you're cool ig 🙄
landonorris your swag style and utter disdain for me has captured my heart ynusername oh my god stop i'm blushing
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tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @ironmaiden1313 @lunar-racing @lightninginab0ttle @maddie-naps @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @landossainz @chaotic_version
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request: hiya! i love how funny your smau’s are and i’m begging for an aussie!reader x Lando one. maybe she works for the AusGP and they met in Melbourne? idk -anon
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