#and I'm super grateful for all the people who commented on the fic

[digitalmoriarty]

HI IT'S ME I'M BACK to be petty. about the amazing fic my partner wrote. and someone's reaction to said amazing fic. In general, I don't personally think that it's super polite to make a second comment on a fic just to point out typos. Especially if, more often than not, what you're pointing out isn't a typo. It's either a stylistic choice or semi-complaining that something wasn't explained (MINE RATS). Especially when, say, the typo is in the author's note providing a translation of something and said author missed a single letter in a very long name. The same letter which was missed earlier in the actual story and which wasn't commented on there. I also think it's Kind Of Annoying to be so anchored on an idea/interpretation that you reject the textual evidence provided that shows you're wrong, and continue to try and prove yourself correct. The author explicitly said that the entity you thought was responsible for everything was not, in fact, responsible? TOO BAD AUTHOR. The entity behind everything, described as "lying" in the same author's note translation which you commented on? Totally the one who apologized to the attempted sacrifice, and... totally describing himself as lying? And of course. My favorite bit. The absolute treasure that this someone left. The backhanded compliment about the fic. The 140,000 word fic. NEAR PERFECT, TYPOS AND ERRORS NOTWITHSTANDING. because that's the thing you should focus on, right? The typos in this roughly 3 novels long fic which was written with love and care and a lot of research for exactly zero dollars. Yep. ANYWAY I love the fic. A lot. And I'm super looking forward to helping with the rest of the series... which will not be nearly as long.

[theflyingfeeling]

...🥺🫶

[hayakawalove]

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

Summary: You're happy with your husband, you swear. Except you actually aren't. You're so unhappy in fact, that you find yourself in a cheap bar late one night. Two men find you, and it leads to a night of fun.

A/N: Yeah. It goes without saying that I DON'T CONDONE CHEATING! I don't know why I wrote this. I actually used to really hate cheating fics, so much so that I would filter the tag out. They used to trigger me super bad. I'm not sure why I wrote this. Maybe as a way of doing exposure therapy, maybe just to practice writing things I normally don't write. Whatever the case is, here you go. I hope y'all enjoy! As always, I appreciate your guys comments so much, seriously!

CW: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Cheating (You Cheat on Your Husband), Hand Jobs, Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting, Finger Sucking, Spit Kink, Protected Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Alcohol, Dirty Talk, Humiliation, Praise Kink, Cum Swallowing, Hook-Up, No Strings Attached, Reader Feels Bad (Doesn't Last Long), Hair-pulling, Female Reader, AFAB Reader

W/C: 6,154

Credit to cafekitsune for the banner

You’re happy. 

You really are. 

Those are the words you find yourself repeating like a mantra, a self assuring prayer on a loop in your mind. 

You have a great life. 

A wonderful job, a nice house, the perfect husband. 

People live their entire lives searching for what you’ve been so graciously dealt. 

So why did it feel like you were lying to yourself when you repeated that mantra? 

The words felt uneasy in your mind at first, the weight of them feeling unknown on your tongue. You’d never really thought about it before. Were you happy? The more you told yourself that you were, the more the saying turned your stomach sour. 

You were happy. You were happy. You were happy. 

You weren’t happy. 

At first, it began like a tingle in the back of your throat. Not disruptive, but most certainly there, no matter how hard you tried to get rid of it. It was the most obvious when you felt like you should be grateful for something.

Before going to bed at night, finishing a big project at work, when your husband kissed your cheek. 

The doubt simmers in your gut, barely a blip on your radar.

It was hardly noticeable, until it wasn’t. 

The thought became a raging forest fire, drowning out all your other senses. Every day was the same. It was so boring. Nothing lit a spark in you. 

You weren’t sure how to even remedy it. Not only that, but you would listen to your friends talk about their lives, and how it was monotonous for them as well. Maybe life just had to be like this. 

There’s a pit in your stomach as you walk to your car. You really didn’t want to go home tonight. Not when you knew your loving husband would be waiting for you; not when you knew you had all the reasons in the world to be happy, but you just weren’t. 

“Hey, sexy lady!” A man’s voice rings out around you. 

When you flick your head around you see a man who’s much older than you sizing you up. Your knee jerk reaction is to be disgusted, but you aren’t, not fully at least. 

You’re flattered. 

When was the last time someone paid you a compliment like that? Your husband told you you were beautiful all the time, but it felt rehearsed, like the words had lost their meaning. Sure, a stranger calling you sexy was a bit half assed, but at least it was real.

“Thank you! But I’m married-“ you reply, even though the man is long gone by now. 

You straighten your shoulders and open your car door, accepting the fluke. 

~~~

You’re craving the attention again. 

You feel like an addict craving their next hit. You didn’t want anything else, other than a bit of attention from a stranger. It wouldn’t hurt, would it? 

Over the next couple of days you craft a plan. You were going to get dressed up and go to a bar, nothing major. You just wanted to put yourself in a situation where you could receive attention, maybe get a couple of compliments. It really wasn’t that big of a deal. 

Your husband texted you to inform you that he would be at the office late tonight. You try to ignore the pang of guilt that shoots through you when you tell him that it’s okay, you wouldn’t be doing much anyway. 

Liar.

The dress you’re wearing feels a bit too tight, fitting to your form like another layer of skin. You hadn’t worn it in years. There never was any need to. You and your husband didn't go on dates much anymore, instead choosing to settle down for movie nights or dinner. 

Your makeup is more extreme than usual. It highlights all your favorite features, and the colors are a bit dramatic. Even though it felt different, you had to admit that you looked good. 

You fiddle with your ring, watching the way it catches the light. Reluctantly, you pull it off and put it in your purse. You feel naked not wearing it. Hopefully, more people would compliment you if you didn’t have it on.

You sling your purse over your shoulder and turn your phone off, you wouldn’t be needing it anyway, sliding your high heels on. 

The bar you decide on is on the furthest edge of town, in a much seedier neighborhood. On any chosen day you wouldn’t be caught dead on this side of town, and neither would any of your loved ones. Which is precisely why you chose to be there in the first place. 

Nobody would recognize you. Not that it would be a problem if they did, you remind yourself. You weren’t doing anything wrong. 

The bar is loud as you enter, eager voices discussing a variety of topics over cheap alcohol. The smell of liquor is strong, the astringent scent nearly burning the inside of your nostrils. 

You slide over to the counter and take a seat on one of the rickety stools. It’d be a miracle if it doesn’t break under your weight, it looks like it’s two seconds from collapsing on its own. 

You order a mixed drink and smile as the bartender passes it to you, your heart fluttering at the way he grins back. 

Validation springs throughout your body. It feels like you’re being rejuvenated, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

See? What you were doing wasn’t so bad. 

“What's a fine young thing like yourself doing over here?” 

When you turn around to catch a glimpse of the man shamelessly hitting on you, you feel your stomach turn. You had never seen someone so attractive before. 

A head full of soft white hair, messy in an almost endearing way. You can’t catch a glimpse of his eyes due to the sunglasses that rest on his nose. On anyone else it would come off as douchey, it was dark out and you were inside a bar, but for him it seemed oddly fitting. 

There’s a cocky grin on his face as he leans against the counter where you sit. He’s close enough that you can smell the soap he used to scrub himself with. An intoxicating scent, cedarwood and bergamot.

“Enjoying some alone time.” You reply, deciding on playing hard to get. 

It would be nice to see him continue to try, even if you didn’t make it easy. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt. I just had to tell you how gorgeous you were.” 

He didn’t sound sorry, didn’t look it either.

“I know.” You take a small sip of you drink, staring up at him as you do so. 

You would never be so forward in your day to day life. You much preferred to be humble. Humble was cute, humble was safe. 

You were tired of being safe. 

The strangers lips spread even further and you catch a glimpse of him running his tongue along his teeth. You can’t see, but you feel like he’s staring down at you, gaze assessing your features. You hope he likes what he sees. 

“Sir, can I get another one of these for her?” He flags down the bartender and motions to your drink. 

“I didn’t tell you I wanted another one.” You reply, stirring the drink you’re currently nursing. 

The man beside you raises a brow, before sliding out a wad of cash. He hands it to the bartender without looking away from you, confidence leaking from his pores. 

“You shouldn’t have to. A gentleman should be able to notice.”

You feel a heavy weight drop on top of you. He was right. True gentlemen should take note of the small things, right? 

Your husband hardly ever did. 

The crack inside your heart begins to deepen; you know there’s not going to be a way back from this. Do you mind that you won’t be able to recover? 

No. 

You don’t. 

You grin at him and toss back the rest of your drink before taking the new one from him. It’s cold against your hand, a sickly sweet scent wafting up from the cup. 

“Who’s your little friend?” A second voice enters.

You flick your eyes from the man beside you to see who’s talking. Long black locks and chestnut eyes. 

“Suguru. This is…” The first man talks.

You state your name, nerves beginning to take hold in your chest. When it was just one of them it was fine, but two of them? 

“I’m Satoru Gojo, and this is Suguru Geto.” The original man says. “Pleased to meet you.” He finishes, dipping his face down to look at you above his glasses. 

Electric cerulean greets you, nearly taking your breath away. 

He smirks and pushes his glasses back up before tossing a look over his shoulder towards his friend.

Suguru circles around you, and you can’t help but let your eyes follow his movements. It feels like he’s sizing you up, a dark gleam in his gaze as he settles in the spot beside you.

It feels a bit like the walls are caving in on you, except the metaphorical walls are in the form of two bulky men. 

You wanted attention, that much was true, but you weren’t sure you were ready for this amount. 

“What brings you to this dive bar?” The one called Suguru questions. 

You take a sip of your drink as you ponder a response. What should you tell them? You were here with friends? The truth? 

“Needed to get out of the house.” You decide on. 

Well, it wasn’t completely wrong. 

“So you decided to come to this shit hole?” Satoru says. 

“You decided to come here too, didn’t you?” You reply back.

Satoru looks away, his bottom lip pouting out. It was a shit hole. The two men looked oddly out of place. Their clothes looked to be worth more than half your rent, and there was an effortless elegance flowing from them. You were sure that they belonged anywhere else. 

“We were just passing through town, and this was the first place we found.” Suguru responds for Satoru. 

You wonder how true that statement is. 

Could it be that the both of them are also running away from something in their personal lives? 

You could only hope. 

Maybe it would make you feel less guilty. 

Suguru’s nursing a whiskey now, lips shining in the low light from the tantalizing liquid. It’s a bit hypnotizing, watching the way his lips pucker as he takes measured sips. 

You feel like nothing can break you from the trance you’re in, nothing that is, until something brushes your thighs. It’s Satoru’s fingers, skimming your skin under the guise of tugging your dress down. 

“I like your dress,” Satoru murmurs, his knuckles causing goosebumps to erupt along your thighs. 

You watch as he slowly drags his fingers back, letting your eyes trail up until you reach his face, only to see that he’s already staring at you. 

“Yeah?” You ask, breathless.

Satoru hums and flicks his gaze back down to your legs. There’s lead in your stomach as you watch his pupils flicker. You can only guess what’s on his mind. 

“Say, do you have any plans for the night?” Suguru questions, settling his arm around the back of your chair. 

His thumb brushes against your shoulder, making your breath stagger. The ambiance is more than heavy, a thick understanding settling over the three of you. 

“No, I don't.” You take one last sip of your drink before looking at the boys once more. 

“Want to go have some fun, then?” Satoru asks, an evil glint in his eyes. 

You begin to understand how Eve could not resist the temptation.

“Please,” you all but plead.

You reach a hand out and Satoru laces his fingers in yours, tugging you along until you’re forced to navigate through the crowds in the bar. There’s a heat behind you, and you register it as Suguru’s presence shortly following after you. 

There’s something bubbling up in your stomach, anticipation you think, as you watch the back of Satoru’s head. 

He’s so tall. 

You briefly wonder what it would feel like to run your fingers through his hair. Would it be soft? Would he like the way it feels? 

Satoru pushes the bar door open, a gust of wind whipping your face. The sensation almost shocks you to your senses, but Satoru doesn’t allow it. 

He slows down and stops beside you, throwing his arm around your shoulder. You’re being tugged beside him, smooshed against his lean frame as he walks you to their car. 

“We’re gonna have so much fun,” he comments, whispering into the crown of your head. 

Your stomach flips. You think he may be right. 

Suguru walks ahead and spins keys around his fingers before unlocking the car. You’re unable to recognize the brand, only able to see that it’s expensive. 

Satoru opens the passenger door and you’re greeted with fine black leather. It dawns on you that someone’s going to have to sit in the back. 

How was this going to work? 

Were you supposed to sit in the back? 

Wouldn’t that be weird? 

When you come to, you see that Satoru’s already sitting in the front seat, his hand holding yours as he looks up at you with an expectant gaze. 

“Come on.” He murmurs. 

He pulls you closer, spreading his legs to make room for you. He wants you to sit on his lap? 

You look around, noticing how empty the parking lot is. You were already making bad choices, so you figure you may as well go all in. 

You inch in the car, settling on top of his lap. His thighs are warm beneath you, your exposed legs shifting back and forth. He shuts the door, settling his hands on your body while Suguru starts the car. You never once stop to think about how this may be considered dangerous, all you can think about is how you want more of it. 

“Ready, princess?” Suguru’s voice is like velvet as it comes out. 

As ready as you’ll ever be. 

“Yes.” You fake confidence, shining a grin that feels entirely too exaggerated. 

Suguru chuckles and reverses the car, the action fluid. Satoru’s still holding onto your thighs, the proximity to him causing your heart to race. You don’t know who to focus on. Even their hands have you in a trance. Suguru’s fingers grip the steering wheel, knuckles making your mouth water, while Satoru holds your legs, his palms suspiciously moving further up.

You can feel the outline of something beneath you, and you think you know what it is, but you want to be sure. 

You shimmy your ass a bit, turning your head over your shoulder to look at Satoru. There’s a dangerous grin on his face as he looks at you over his glasses. 

“Careful there, baby.” He warns. 

Your mouth immediately dries, desperation crawling up the back of your throat. The outline below you is much thicker than it was several minutes ago. He was hard. 

The engine stops, and your stomach turns over. You’re stopped at a hotel. It’s on the nicer side of town, luckily the part of the city none of your friends ventured to. The building in front of you is at least twenty stories high, the air of wealth floating over to you. 

Just what did these guys do for a living? 

“Come on.” Satoru says, patting your thigh twice. 

You snap out of it and hop out of the car, eyes drawing to the two men next to you. Suguru stuffs his keys in his pocket and slides beside you, snaking his arm up your back. His hand rests against the nape of your neck, softly holding you. The act feels borderline protective.

You peer up at him and he grants you a smile before leading you next to him, guiding you by your neck towards the hotel entrance. It’s even nicer on the inside than it is on the outside. 

A chandelier hangs from the ceiling, you know that it must be made of glass but at first glance it looks like diamonds. There’s little dots along the walls from the reflection of the fine material, hypnotizing you. A soft tune echoes in the background, Mozart you think, that lulls you into a sense of relaxation. 

“Good afternoon.” The check in attendant nods at Suguru. 

Does this scene look weird to him? 

Suguru acts as though it’s completely normal, dipping his head down in response before facing forward again, heading towards the elevators. Maybe it was normal for Suguru. 

Maybe they’d done this countless times before, and you weren’t special. You have to remind yourself that that’s the point. You weren’t any better. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’re objectively worse. Tonight wouldn’t mean anything. Just a quick, nasty fuck. 

Out of your periphery you see Satoru jab his finger into the elevator button. He seems a bit impatient. Excited, maybe. 

He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking up as the numbers on the screen decrease, indicating the elevator was inching closer and closer. 

He’s a bit beautiful. 

You knew that before. But his beauty looks different under the fine chandelier light of the hotel. The way he looked in the dingy bar, although still incredibly attractive, was a far cry from how he appears now. Almost ethereal, you’d say. The warm glow of the lights above make him look like a painting. 

Suguru’s the same as Satoru. The lighting and surroundings of the hotel are making him appear even more stunning than before. When you peer up at him, he glances down and grins back at you. It feels like you’ve been caught red handed. You look away quickly, just in time to watch the elevator doors slide open. 

Satoru hops in and waits for you and Suguru to enter before pressing ‘18’. 

The music inside the elevator is much more quiet, yet you’re still grateful for it. You’re nervous, your fists clenching and unclenching at your sides. It was hard to believe that you were really doing this. The soft piano helps soothe your nerves, as you will your mind to stop racing.

Suguru’s hand slides off your neck and you find yourself almost missing the sensation. The warmth from his palm fades away, along with the sense of protection it provided. 

You only have a moments reprieve before the other man jumps at you. 

Satoru’s mouth is on yours in an instant, his tongue smoothing along your bottom lip. You groan in surprise before following along, letting your hands slide up his shirt. 

He’s muscular. 

Images flash in your brain of what he may look like shirtless. Your mind paints up a mouthwatering scene, full of hard lines and bulging muscles.

Your mouth opens to accept him, his tongue quickly entangling with yours. It’s hot and messy. Spit dribbles from the sides of your lips, and you can hardly catch your breath. 

“Don’t be so greedy, Satoru.” Suguru chides. 

Shit, you had almost forgotten he was there. 

Embarrassment fills your veins instantly. It suddenly hits you that you were going to have sex with both of them. How was this going to work? The idea seems daunting. 

Satoru grunts in retaliation and you almost think he doesn’t want to share. The man proves you wrong though, when he tugs you forward towards him. His body crashes against yours, and you have to hold his firm biceps to stabilize yourself. Suguru glides behind you, his hands quickly finding your hips. 

You’re trapped. 

Satoru parts from your lips, a thin string of saliva snapping once he removes himself. Your mind is crowded by lust as you look up at him with heavy lids. 

You want more. 

It’s a good thing there were two of them. 

Suguru grips your chin from behind and turns your head sideways, pressing his mouth against yours. His lips aren’t as sweet as Satoru, but it makes your knees weak all the same. 

Suguru is more methodical in his approach. He waits until you’re reaching a hand down, squeezing his arm against your waist. With a chuckle he parts his lips, sliding his tongue along your mouth, the movement painfully slow.

Satoru has moved his focus to your neck now. He’s kissing and biting down the column of your throat, the heat from his breathing making you shiver. You use your other hand to glide through his hair, urging him forward to continue his attack on your throat. 

Only when he starts sucking do you realize the severity of his actions. 

“N-no hickeys.” You tear yourself away from Suguru to say. 

Satoru looks at you for a second before chuckling, dragging his tongue up your throat. “Sure thing, princess.” 

Your shoulders sag in relief as you feel Satoru begin to go easy on you, only licking and kissing your tender flesh. You’re grateful you caught him in time. 

Suguru kisses you once more and you moan, a sound that spurs the two men on. Satoru raises a hand to paw at your breasts through your dress, and Suguru’s grip has tightened. 

The elevator dings just in time. 

Your entanglement felt longer than a life time, but it couldn’t have been more than two minutes. Suguru reluctantly tears himself away from you, watching as you catch your breath. Satoru is a bit more stubborn, only stopping once you say his name. 

Luckily the hallway in front of you is empty. The three of you step out, and you let them guide you to their room. 

“Here we are.” Satoru murmurs. 

Suguru, apparently master of the keys, lifts up a card and unlocks the door. When it opens he pushes the door in, letting you and Satoru go first. 

The room is huge. 

There’s a living room with a decent sized kitchen, along with two doors that can only lead to what you assume to be bedrooms. 

“Home sweet home,” Satoru lifts up a hand, waving it towards their hotel room. “Well, I guess hotel sweet hotel-“ 

“Satoru.” You all but plead, looking up at him desperately. 

His eyes flick down to you and he grins before stepping closer. 

“Sorry baby, you need something, huh?” He crashes his lips against yours again. 

The kiss is even more urgent this time around. Satoru lifts his glasses up blindly, before walking backwards to lead you further inside. 

You reach behind your back and pat around, trying to feel for your zipper. You need your clothes off now. When you don’t feel the flimsy tab, you turn around and look over your shoulder as if that will help any.  

“Keep having your fun, princess.” Suguru murmurs, his fingers expertly finding the elusive zipper. 

You whine and face forward again, kissing Satoru once more. Suguru carefully pulls it down, a cool rush of air grazing your back once it’s open. 

He leans down and kisses your spine, slowly making his way up while you shove your tongue down Satoru’s throat. 

The room’s spinning, you’re sure of it. 

Suguru takes his lips off your back so he can slide the dress off your shoulders, his hands grazing your skin causing you to break out in goosebumps. 

The dress falls to the floor, leaving you exposed in only your bra and underwear. It was an expensive set, one you had bought years ago yet hadn’t gotten much of a use out of. 

Satoru pulls his lips away to glance down at your figure before looking back up at your face. Your lips are swollen, eyes fluttering in need. 

“Shit…” he whispers to himself before kissing you again. 

Suguru’s hands roam your body, letting you have your playtime as he explores your skin. His palms glide against your stomach and thighs, moving slowly. 

You must be soaked already. 

Satoru tears himself back again, hands reaching for his shirt. He undresses in a matter of seconds, leaving himself only in his underwear. His body is even more amazing than you had conjured up in your mind. 

He was muscular without being overtly so, leaning more towards the body of a runner. His skin is pale, matching the tone of his hair. 

You run your hands up his stomach to his chest, letting your fingers dance along the grooves of his muscles. His head hangs low as he watches you drag your nails against him. 

Suguru stands next to you as he pulls his shirt off his head, the action catching your eye. You turn around and allow your gaze to float down to his chest. He looks just as perfect as Satoru. 

You tug Suguru closer and kiss him, his slow pace allowing you a chance to recuperate. 

“Want you to sit on my face.” Satoru says, his hands skirting along your body. 

So much for recuperating. 

“O-okay.” 

Satoru leads you and Suguru into one of the bedrooms before making himself comfortable on the bed. His form takes up the whole length of the bed, head at the end as he looks up expectantly. 

You look over your shoulder to see Suguru watching you. His lids are heavy as he stares at you, desire unmistakably falling over his features. He dips his head as if he was comforting you, or giving you permission. You slide your underwear off before tossing a leg over Satoru’s face, lowering yourself just above his mouth. You’re facing the end of the bed, Suguru standing in front of you. 

“So fucking wet.” Satoru mumbles to himself before sticking his tongue out, tugging your hips down until he meets your pussy. 

“F-fuck!” You moan, your hand latching onto his white locks. 

“That feel good?” Suguru asks. 

You bite your lip and look up at him, watching as his hand reaches down to unbuckle his pants. The sight makes you flustered. He maintains eye contact as he tugs them down, his cock still contained behind his underwear. 

“Open.” He says in a hushed tone. 

Your lips part, jaw dropping open at his order. 

“Atta girl.” 

Suguru eases his thumb into your mouth, watching as your lips wrap around him. You suck softly, bobbing your head as you lick the sides of his thumb. 

He looks delighted as you perform for him. You try your best to focus on the task at hand, but Satoru is making it increasingly difficult. His tongue is sticking out, flicking against your swollen clit. He drags it down before teasing your entrance, poking in several times before retreating to suck on your nub. 

You tug at his hair, grinding your body down against him. His hands have a tight grip on your ass, helping you hump against his mouth. 

“There you go, ride my fucking face.” Satoru growls below you. 

Your eyes roll back in your head, the pleasure coursing through your body. 

Suguru uses his other hand to pull down his boxers, allowing his cock to jump free. Everything feels too good. When you look back down, the sight makes you lightheaded. His cock is hard, tip leaky with anticipation as he watches you. 

He pumps it several times before reaching down to grab your free hand. Suguru wraps it around his cock, giving you free reign to pump him. 

His thumb never leaves your mouth. You’re sort of glad it doesn’t. If it did, you aren’t sure how loud you would be moaning. 

Suguru looks at your face as you begin to jack him off. He’s far more interested in watching you suck his thumb.

Satoru sucks on your clit, his eyes closed as he focuses on your body. You can feel yourself drip into him. 

“You gonna cum for us? On Satoru’s face?” Suguru coos. 

You moan around his thumb and squeeze your eyes shut. Fuck, you were going to cum on Satoru’s face. Soon, probably. 

Your palm slides down Suguru’s cock as your fist fucks him. He’s hot and heavy in your hand, his precum making the glide that much easier. 

Satoru speeds his actions up, his lips wrapped tightly around your nub. Your body tightens up in response, and you begin to cum. 

Satoru aides you through your orgasm, sucking the entire time as you twist above him. Your hand slows against Suguru’s cock as you pant around his thumb. 

Satoru flicks his tongue against your clit slowly before removing his mouth from you, allowing you to slide off his face. 

He sits up once you’re off, his chin completely covered in your essence. You’re almost embarrassed. Satoru looks unaffected, letting his tongue clean the cum on his lips. 

“Let’s go baby.” Satoru says. 

Suguru eases his thumb from your mouth, chuckling at the whimper you let out. You were really starting to get into it, too. 

Satoru helps you get onto your hands and knees, facing forward towards Suguru. Suguru reaches down to unclasp your bra, pulling it off your body before tossing it to the side. Your nipples instantly harden from the cold air. 

Satoru smoothes his hands down your back while admiring your trembling form beneath him. Aftershocks from your previous orgasm were still racking through your body. He tears his gaze away to look at the bedside table, grumbling before he finds what he’s looking for. You hear the sound of a condom being opened as you stare at Suguru’s cock. 

Would you be able to fit that in your mouth? 

“Alright,” Satoru mumbles, sliding the condom on before lining himself up with your entrance.

You part your lips, waiting for Suguru to slide himself in your mouth. Satoru’s cock pokes at your entrance, pushing past as he sinks into your pussy. You groan, your walls rushing to accommodate the stretch. 

Satoru’s jaw is clenched as he looks down, watching your pussy greedily accept him, squeezing his cock until he’s finally all of the way in. 

He pauses for a moment, and you slip Suguru’s cock into your mouth. His tip eases past your lips, precum dripping onto your taste buds as he pushes himself in further. 

You gag a bit, nose flaring as you try to breathe around his cock. It’s more difficult than you anticipated, drool sliding down your chin as you go as far as you can. 

Satoru begins to shallowly pump inside you, while Suguru starts to rock his hips. 

It doesn’t take long before Satoru is fucking you properly, the slick of your cum making it easy to glide inside you. Suguru lets you control the pace, bobbing your head against his cock as you swallow around him. 

Satoru pushes against your gspot with each thrust, the sensation making you moan around Suguru. 

This felt so good, you were left wondering why you didn’t do it sooner. 

Satoru groans behind you, feeling like his cock was being choked by your pussy. He reaches down and his fingers find your clit, rubbing in tight circles. You moan and your pussy tightens around Satoru in reaction. 

“Thaaaat’s it.” Satoru sounds almost breathless. “Bet your husband doesn’t fuck you this good, does he?” 

You stutter around Suguru, confusion sparking inside you. 

Husband?

How did he know?

Satoru laughs loudly, continuing to fuck into you. 

“What? You didn’t think we’d notice?” Suguru inserts himself into the discussion. “There’s a tan line around your ring finger, darling.”

Satoru thrusts into you even harder. “No hickeys? Come on.” His fingers speed up around your clit, making you moan against Suguru. “So I’ll repeat myself, your husband doesn’t fuck you like this, does he?” 

The humiliation was almost suffocating, yet it turned you on so badly you could hardly stand it. 

Suguru pulls himself from your throat, watching as you loudly gasp for air. 

You feel ruined. But you like it. 

“N-no,” you moan out. 

“No? That’s right.” Satoru mumbles under his breath. 

With each thrust it feels like he’s knocking all common sense from you. Your fingers dig into the sheets below, hoping it will relieve some of the pressure but all it manages to do is crumple the bedding. 

Suguru presses himself back into your throat, throwing his head back as you bob your head along him. You run your tongue down the sides of his cock, stroking him as you suck. 

“Can tell you aren’t happy with him, you just needed to be fucked properly, is that right?” Satoru continues. 

You moan around Suguru, unable to reply. Satoru understands the sentiment, pressing harder against your clit. You tighten up around him again, unable to control the way your cunt squeezes him. He keeps filling you up, his cock somehow pressing into all the right places. You’re getting close to cumming again, body begging for the sensation once more. 

Satoru’s hands are gripping your hips hard, so hard that there’s a voice in the back of your brain telling you he may leave marks, but you’re in too deep already. Drool is seeping from your lips, hanging in strings down your chin as you swallow Suguru’s cock. You wonder who’s going to cum first. 

Your orgasm inches closer, made possible by the strum of Satoru’s fingers against your needy clit. He’s groaning behind you, the sounds spurring you on. 

“Come on, come on baby. Cum on my cock.” He urges with a groan. 

Your pussy clenches around his cock hard and you release, cumming harder than you ever have before. 

“Just like that, just like that.” He talks you through it, a whimper breaking his voice. 

Suguru makes good use of your slack jaw, pounding so hard into your throat that you surmise it’s going to bruise. There’s no oxygen in your brain, no thoughts in your head, just pure bliss as you cum on Satoru. 

“You’re gonna make me-“ Satoru lets out a long moan, hips jerking against you, his cock twitching as he fills the condom with his cum. 

You’re trying to breathe heavily through your nose as you come down, allowing Suguru to use you as he sees fit. His face is concentrated as he stares down at you, admiring the mess you’ve become as he fucks your throat. He swears under his breath before coming to a stop, spurting hot cum in your mouth. 

You struggle to swallow it all, briefly feeling like you were drowning in the fluid, before you gulp it down. It’s messy, some of his cum paints your lips as he slides his now softening cock out of your mouth. 

The room is filled with the sounds of your mixed panting, bodies all entering a state of relaxation. Satoru eases himself from your pussy, inhaling sharply as he slips out. He removes the condom, tying it before tossing it into the bin beside the bed. You’re in complete bliss, fucked out from every orifice. 

Suguru smoothes your hair down and finds a washcloth to wipe the filth from your lips, smiling to himself at your expression. 

“You can stay the night, if you’d like.” Satoru says as he relaxes on the bed. 

He glances at the clock and ascertains that it’s much later than you were intending. You mumble to yourself and nod, not fully comprehending what ramifications may be waiting at home for you. 

Satoru opens the blankets for you, waiting as Suguru cleans between your legs. The actions are a bit sweet. Everything is. You were expecting them to kick you to the curb after you had sex, so you’re pleasantly surprised when they slide in bed next to you, laying on either side. 

Satoru’s arms are wrapped tightly around your frame as you nod off, and you feel truly happy for the first time in years. 

~~~

You aren’t sure what wakes you up in the morning. Your internal clock, maybe. Your body is sore as you groan, flipping onto your back. The hotel ceiling greets you as you crack your eyes open. A brief bit of panic courses through you. 

So last night was real, huh? 

You turn your head and notice the bed beside you is completely devoid of anyone else, both men seemingly having vanished. You aren’t sure if you feel more sad or relieved. Sad because you enjoyed their presence, but relieved because now you could pretend like nothing happened. 

Is that what you wanted to do? 

You were having a hard time believing that that would be easy, that you could go back to your old life and be content when you knew there was so much more out there. 

You sit up and look towards the clock. You were in deep shit. There’s a note on the beside table that catches your attention. You lift it up, reading the words on the page. It fills you with a deep sense of satisfaction once you notice a phone number on it.

“Call us if you want to have a good time. -Satoru and Suguru.” 

Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss, @dinolvrrr, @kimi01985, @mikisspeak, @sad-darksoul, @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni, @sakui1, @reiluvr, @gothicwhore666, @bunviixo

If you want to be tagged just let me know, please specify what you want to be tagged in

[cdbabymp3]

tbh i don’t have much ideas for ian but maybe like being in one of his mv’s?? or like bf headcannons😩

𐙚starring in ian's mv as his gf

notes/warnings: uh none??? ian being flirty bc duhhhh. i hope it's okay i made reader his gf! LOVE MY IAN GIRLS DOWNNN <3333

not spell checked, a bitch is lazy soz :P

-you enter the mv halfway through and i feel like it's definitely a moment that goes viral yk? bc yes, y'all are semi-public and ppl know y'all are dating but no one expects you to be in his mv

-or smth that could be cute is the opening shot of the mv is the title of the song or ian's name tatted on your lower back like a tramp stamp and then the camera pans out and reveals that it's you

-like i said, this definitely breaks the internet. i can see people making videos reacting to it, commenting on how hot you are, etc etc very much ice spice and cench, except y'all are in an established relationship that's not for pr 🤗🤗🤗

-he's showing you off so fucking much oh my god. he keeps lowkey forgetting y'all aren't alone 😭

-you walk into the shot, a full view of your ass on display, and ian looks straight at the camera and nods with a "i know, right? and that's all mine" type look smug as hell HELPPPPPP 💦💦💦💦

-he's soooooo giddy it's super cute !!! he's super proud that you're his and wants every single person working on the mv to know that

-i can see him letting you take the forefront of the camera shot while he just looks at you and checks you out up and down

-a hand around your waist while he aggressively raps a verse into the camera about clearing anyone who tries to take you from him <333 and you're just sitting there like 😊

-i imagine him driving at night for a mv shot and you're sitting pretty in the passenger seat, leaning over to play with his hair and run your hands along his shoulders and chest with your long acrylics

-as excited as you are to be in his mv, you're also veryyyy nervous bc you want his mv to do well and don't wanna get clowned online lmfao

-you keep asking him what you should be doing or if what you're doing is weird and he's like

"nah, baby, you jus' keep doin' what you doin'... so perfect, trust me."

^adding to to that, he hypes you up so much if you get self-conscious

"yuuuuppp, yuuuupp.... thas' right, c'mon now, don't play with her." he's so geeked, nodding his head with a hand over his mouth

-soaked. sorry

-okay i'm totaling running with this concept but imagine him playing an early 2000's playboy guy in a mansion and he has a velvet robe on and y'all are poolside....

-if you're comfortable with it, the costume designer will put you in a y2k cheetah print bikini and style your hair/makeup to look super 2000's and cunty

-he's just rapping while laying out on a pool chair with you on his lap with a row of butlers holding silver platters of money and gourmet food

-i can totally see him letting you rap a verse to the camera and he's hyping you up to get aggressive with it (so cute omfg..)

"tell 'em, ooh tell 'em, babe... let 'em know." he praises sweetly, pointing to the camera

-you're kind of shy at first but you giggle and then go INNNNN and the camera crew hypes you too

-the director of the mv ends up keeping that take

-SOOO MANY EDITS OF YOU AND HIM FROM THE MV YUUUPPP

-the mv gets well over 3M views and literally every man wants you, which only makes ian even more grateful you're all his (and only his)

reposts are GREATLY appreciated since idk how many people are actively searching for fics of him lol

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; let me know if u wanna be added !!!!!

[moonblastbitch]

Yellow card update

Hi ya'll! So I barely use tumblr nowadays, but considering some stuff going on I thought it would be good to do a quick little come back.

So hi! I'm Kit, I write the griddlehark fic Yellow Card with my friend Starr. It's a very silly fanfiction about age difference Harrow and Gideon having an affair and raising a child together. It's pretty well known in TLT fan spaces which I'm super grateful for! It's not an understatement to call this little fic my pride and joy. I've spent the last two years working on it as my little labor of love and it's kinda grown a cult of followers! Really, it's a fun excuse for me and my friend to work on something we care about together. But lately I haven't felt inclined to work on it and I want to talk about why.

Over the last several months I've had some health stuff going on that's resulted in needing two surgeries. Along with that, I moved into a new place and my gf and I are managing some new financial stress. Plus, you know, the general state of democracy in decay all around the world. It doesn't leave me a lot of time or energy to write silly smut fic. Everyone has been very supportive of me taking the time I need to recover and I'm really grateful.

But... this is where I have to address some not great stuff. Today my friend approached me with a fanfiction making fun of my writing. And several posts from someone making fun of the tropes I use in the writing. Now, I want to make this abundantly clear. Absolutely no one is required to like my writing style or fics. I don't write for praise or wealth, just for my own personal happiness. I think everyone is within their right to complain to their friends if they dislike something they read. What I really can't tolerate however is this intense hostility toward myself or my fellow writers. Nor do I appreciate having an entire fic written mocking me or my stylistic choices.

Back when I first joined the TLT fandom in 2020 it was teeny tiny. Now it's a lot less so. It's been so satisfying to see everyone grow and change over the years, and I think I've grown a lot as a writer. Sadly though, I've seen a lot of stupid bullshit. I've seen personal friends of mine targeted in harassment campaigns because they ship the wrong ship. I've been added to public bookmarks complaining about my writing, I've been subtweeted, I've been made fun of. And I think I'm done.

I write for my own pleasure. I write to bond with my friends. I am not writing for homophobic assholes who use my work to mock me, nor make me or my co-writer the target of harassment. So, as a result, Yellow Card and all my other TLT fics are on an immidate hiatus, with the exception of one upcoming commission for the TLT for Palestine charity.

I spent a long time tonight debating if I should even write this post. It seems like by writing this I'd be giving the people making fun of me more ammo. But honestly? I don't care. My feelings are hurt. I am upset. I shouldn't have to hide that because some bullies will take bits of this statement to use in their next bitchy text post.

I want to reiterate something important. I am open to critque on my work. Anyone who has an issue with my writing style is more than welcome to come into my comments and let me know if something isn't flowing right, if there are unfortunate implications of a line I may not have considered, if there is something they personally find a bit distasteful. Sadly, the people doing this skipped right to mockery and ridicule, and that is unacceptable.

What drew me to this fandom in the first place was Muir's openness to her background in fanworks. She clearly takes such pride knowing her book series has spawned into a wild, happy fandom writing crack silliness and serious character study alike. Because that is what fandom is for. Having fun in a big beautiful sandbox, creating art with friends. And I treasure that deeply, even as I am forced to walk away from a space I love.

TLDR: TLT fandom is full of dicks. And not the kind I write about.

Thank you to everyone whose offered me kindness and support over the years! I truly appreciate you all. If you wanna stay in contact, it's easiest to find me over on twitter @moonblastbitch or discord (same name)

[monstersandmaw]

I love the Yautja inspired fic over on patreon! I can't comment there but I wanted to tell you. I love how unique they all are and I can't wait for Stark to come around to reader.

I was also wondering if Stark was not only a "I hate humans"-situation but a "While I nearly killed the reader I smelled them and shit am I turned on right now? Better hate them even more for it"-situation as well.

I adore Buddy too he is so cute and yet badass. Also Elder has this very calm and wise vibe. He seems like he's "fond of everyone" (in his team and reader at least) because he's so old and somehow finds everyone amusing and cute who doesn't have the experience he has. I love that. Also Alchemist is such a little freak (fondly speaking).

I'm also curious how Cannon behaves. I am super duper excited and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, thank you!

Can't wait for them to slowly integrate reader into their relationship.

I hope this isn't annoying. Sending lots of love and support!

*flailing* thank you so much!!

(EDIT: think I fixed this now so that anyone can comment on public posts????? I wonder, are you unable to comment because of a Patreon error or because it only allows certain tiers to comment? I didn't deliberately set that up, so if it's the latter, I can look into sorting it!!)

Anyway, back to the boys!

Stark doesn't hate humans, per se, but he does really hate change. It unsettles him and makes him feel like he's losing control. And he really likes to be in control... 😉. And having an alien species (the human reader) on board, messing with his mates' heads and hearts (and chemistry) is a big change for him. He'll come around, eventually, but he'll take his own time... (and some help from the others).

The reader's buddy, Runt, is super fun to write. He's definitely a lil cutie but he can kick ass too when he needs to. He's spent his whole life proving himself to others, so he's tough as fuck (maybe tougher than most others), but he's definitely got a very soft and submissive side too, which he enjoys exploring with his mates in the safety and privacy of their ship.

Elder is super calm, and definitely has a lot of experience and wisdom, but he knows how to have fun too. He will indulge his mates in almost anything, if they ask it of him too.

Alchemist is a huge freak, and they all adore it.

Cannon is Big Chill. Doesn't speak much but has a very deep soul/mind, is very affectionate with his mates, and Very Protecc. He gives amazing cuddles too :).

The next chapter with Runt is going to be a spicy one :). It's about time he got his reward for helping his human out and saving her life, after all! We also learn a bit more about my little headcanons for their biology in this one (it's basically just an excuse for some weird alien sexy times).

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this! It means the whole flipping world that you did, and I'm so grateful. Thank you.

EDIT: Chapter Five is now up :) Reader POV

(If folks want to read it, all chapters are now free to access over on my Patreon - first chapter here. I'm not sharing new writing on Tumblr because of AI scraping issues, and I want to protect my work and efforts as much as I can. Anything that was free to read on Tumblr is (or will be after early release) free to read on Patreon. I realise far fewer people are going to click off-site to go read them, but that's something I'm willing to accept to protect my efforts).

[conkers-thecosy]

Five Fic Feedback!

Tagged by: No one! Seen this floating about a few fandoms, and decided to bring it over to bagginshield!

Rules: Pick five fics you've written, then tell us about how you feel about it vs how readers have received it!

1 - Bad Blood

My Thoughts: This one is way bigger than I meant it to be! It was going to be about 5k words and the only scene I had in my head was Bilbo biting the elven guard, haha! Readers: People really seem to love this one! I feel like feral Bilbo is always a crowd-pleaser, and this fic got much more attention than I ever expected it to! - 2 - Soldier My Thoughts: I'm really proud of this one. It was my first bagginshield fic, and it was after a loooong break from writing. Even though it's a bit weak in places, I have such a soft spot for it. Readers: I ended up re-posting this one after some harassment kicked my confidence down the toilet, but since then the reception has been very positive! - 3 - Poet My Thoughts: I'm sorry to say it, but this is probably my least favourite fic I've written. If it wasn't so popular I'd have removed it and altered the end of Soldier so it was just one fic! Readers: This fic seems to be very popular, and was the first time someone made art of my work - and more than once! I remember posting the first chapter and not expecting very much, only to come onto tumblr and see random posts where folks were super excited to see it was updating! It was such a lovely feeling! - 4 - My Ego Dies My Thoughts: I genuinely love this one, I think it's probably my personal favourite. I really enjoy playing about with the idea of "forgiveness" between Bilbo and Thorin, and this fic really scratched a particular itch for me! Readers: Probably my least popular fic - statistically, at least! I've found most folk weren't into it for one reason or another, but the people who love it, really, really love it! -

5 - Stealing Moments, Moments Away My Thoughts: I wish I'd taken more time with this one in some ways, but in others it really is the reshirement fic I wanted to tell. Again, I got to tinker with that "forgiveness" trope, and have a good look at what survival might realistically have meant for Thorin. Readers: This one is a quick read, and it's soft and fluffy, so I think readers enjoy it for that reason, though I believe some found it a bit boring. It was being updated almost daily, and the folks who were invested came back to comment and read practically every time I updated, which was just amazing to me! - 6 - Backs To The Wall (Sorry, I've written six, so I wanted to do all of them!) My Thoughts: I wrote this because it was something I wanted to read, and couldn't find. It's been amazingly fun, and I told myself when I started (knowing it was going to be fairly long - even if I didn't realise quite how long at the time, haha) that I wasn't going to take it too seriously, and I was really only writing this for myself, as the most self-indulgent kind of nonsense, ever! Readers: I can't begin to tell you how utterly blown away by the response to this I've been. Like?? It's just crazy to me how much folks are enjoying this, how excited and supportive everyone has been! I've been so grateful for everyone reading, and genuinely shocked down to my bones, haha! 💛 - No pressure tags for: @fantasyinallforms @lucigoo @lordoftherazzles @domesticgoddesswriter @thatfancygirlinwhite @lauramkaye @sass-y-squatch @mintedwitcher (and honestly anyone else who sees this and wants to do it, *waves a wand* you are Tagged!)

[cordeliawhohung]

one of my favorite things about pet au is that simon doesn't care. does not. give a shit. about bonnie. every time i see you respond to people who "suggest" he becomes softer or gentler, i tear my hair out. are we not reading the same fic? that would be a complete 180. it would only make sense if he hit his head. hard.

oh i'm about to yap under the cut and maybe be a little mean

tldr at the end

ngl i nearly almost gave up writing for pet!au because of shit like that lmao. and like, i get in the beginning the story wasn't really a story at all. and i think that's obvious since it started out with more of like, musings with really quick writing. something i wasn't really putting effort into because at first i was thinking it was just a quick idea or whatever. and so a lot of what i was saying with interactions in my asks and stuff like that were just vague ideas. like at one point i was going to put in a graphic non-con scene with simon and bonnie as a "lesson" to her and decided against it because i wanted to take a different route about how he was going to interact with her and when i announced simon and bonnie were never going to fuck i think that turned a lot of people away from the series lmao (at least, on tumblr anyway).

and honestly, i was kind of glad because i stopped getting the bombarding asks of "what if xyz" and "is simon really never going to like bonnie?" and stuff like that for the most part because that shit was killing. me. oh my god. like if you look back at the asks in my pet!au tag that was all i was fucking getting i swear to god.

and look, i get it. this is the horny site. people are going to be horny. but it's super frustrating when people try to hijack your story (believe it or not, this isn't a group project lmao) and act upset or disappointed when a story isn't going their way. i love those twisted horny fics, too. and so does everyone else that's why there's a fucking trillion of them out there on this site and ao3. hell, i even have some. such as this kidnapping soapgaz fic or this ghoap x reader fic that is basically pet au in another universe lmao.

to put those works out, have them there for people to read, and then to have this fic for a different reason that i have now stated several times and have requested that this stay a horror fic and then have people give backhand comments about how they wish it was xyz is super frustrating as a writer. asking "is xyz ever gonna happen. damn" like you're entitled to answers about the future of the story, or trying to see if it's 'worth your time' to continue reading is just. infuriating beyond polite words.

i had to start deleting and not responding to certain things because it was just getting too frustrating. but i am honestly so endlessly grateful to people who actually try to engage with the story i'm writing and not the one they want me to write. i could literally smooch all of you on the foreheads if i was able to. but like, i had this problem with Leftovers too. i think something that has made fandom honestly extremely difficult to keep enjoying is that people treat you like you're an ai if you're a writer. like you're some bot you can shove a prompt into and then get a response curated for you and you can just keep trying and trying and trying and bugging and bugging and bugging if you don't like it and want it changed. like i'm not a human being.

anyway, if i could boil this all down to one paragraph, i would say:

Learn when a story isn't for you, and find a different one instead of trying to dictate or complain to the author that it's not going how you hoped. If you want to talk about a story to an author, please talk about the story that we have written/are writing, and not the one you wished we would write. And, just maybe, if someone has expressed they really hate certain types of comments about a fic, maybe stop making those comments, even as a joke. Truly, it makes me feel like shit.

anyway, thank you anon. for giving me a platform to rant about something that's been bugging me for a bit. and also for just... getting me. for getting the story and what it's trying to say. horny fics are fun, but this storyline is deeply important to me and how it plays out. i get it's not fun, but there is a deeper meaning behind it all and it's really comforting to hear that someone not only enjoys, but actually understands what i'm trying to say. like, for once i'm not being talked over about my own story lmao.

[zhongrin]

🎁 ᴢʜᴏɴɢʀɪɴ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ 🫶🏻

ー just a little thing i wanted to make as the year ends 💗

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐇𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 💍

① 👑 zhongli 👑 ✼ best husband, best comfort f/o, best everything. my ultimate blorbo 🧡

② al haitham 🌱 & wriothesley 🐾 ✼ he's such a silly guy. i love him so much. ✼ who's a good puppy! who's the goodest boy! yes you areeee~! <3

ⓧ runner up // neuvillette 🦦 ✼ his en voice almost made me simp. almost. damn you ray chase /lh

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 🎶

ー✼ the ebg back in february and october! so so so so much chaos fun! both took all the creative juices and sleep i had, but it was all so worth it! i got to connect with more people and interactions were off the charts for the whole week. and coviello... my precious babie <3 i'm pretty sure i'll join another ebg next year given the opportunity.... or perhaps even host one, but with a twist-

ー✼ got matched up T W I C E (well, thrice in total) with mr. i am here's alternate universe selves al haitham. thanks @/ansy-tea / @/kopidense 👍🏻 i shall endeavor to make an effort to discombobulate and fool the silly sprout man in 2024 if there are any other matchup events open lmao

ー✼ teyvatweets! it was so much fun compiling everyone's tweets and coding the website hehe it didn't really blow up or anything due to how 'personal' that project was, but i think about it from time to time. such a fun lil thing!

ー✼ that 1 pity c0 al haitham who came right after ayato.... thanks dad for gracing me with your birthday luck 🙏🏻

ー✼ finally treating myself and indulging in all the selfship commissions. i'm grateful i have the ability to indulge and i'm hoping to do the same next year. and the way everyone just gifted me things for my birthday made me feel so so loved. i couldn't celebrate it with anyone since i wasn't at home, and it was on a weekday meaning my friends were all busy - so it felt like a mini-party... truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much ;w;

ー✼ personally, i'm super happy and kind of proud of getting very comfortable with sharing my art and improving on it! i used to go back and forth whenever i'm trying to post art, but now i'm confident enough to not think too much about it! naturally i have lots to improve and i'm nowhere near 'good' but that's fine with me! i owe it all to yall's support and lovely comments <3

ー✼ all the anon drabbles and charanons!!!! always such a nice sight to wake up to. they're like surprise gifts whenever i open tumblr because i don't have notifications on, and i adore them so much! big big big shoutout to @/floraldresvi, @/crystalflygeo, and @/soleillunne yall are amazing ;w;

ー✼ all the super sweet messages all of you left in my christmas tree.... i'm cradling all the wishes and silliness and messages from my f/os so close to my heart!! ceo!haitham tho. bruh you're still making me work LEAVE ME ALONE- /silly

ー✼ that zhongli birthday celebration series... they're not much, and even with all posts combined they have way less notes than a random vent drabble i dropped in the middle of it lol but i had lots of fun writing, designing, and inserting all the 'golden threads' across the fics nonetheless!! i'll highlight them later so the people who have been following the little series can go 'OH' lol

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 ��

@ainescribe ❀ @silentmoths ❀ @crystalflygeo ❀ @moraxsthrone ❀ @floraldresvi ❀ @sheepmc ❀ @zhxngii ❀ @localplaguenurse ❀ @mysnowmanandmebaby ❀ @the-travelling-witch ❀ @watatsumiis ❀ @kurikurikurisu ❀ @leftdestiny-posts ❀ @kaeffeinee ❀ @queen-belial ❀ @abyssmal-skies ❀ @dawndelion-winery ❀ @yinyinggie ❀ @silkjade ❀ @dustofthedailylife ❀ @scarasmood

@euniveve ❀ @soleillunne ❀ @faesther ❀ @ansy-tea ❀ @vennnnn-diagram ❀ @navxry ❀ @celestetalkstoomuch ❀ @minhosairfryer ❀ @xeraeus ❀ @pearlywritings ❀ @ryuryuryuyurboat ❀ @mochinon-yah ❀ @asoulsreverie ❀ @xiaosonlybeloved ❀ @mooncreates ❀ @jingyuansbird ❀ @tearskillstardust

i love you all and i'm so so glad to have made a connection with you! be it knowing each other from mutual friends, from a drawing/writing commission, or even if we just stumbled onto each other randomly by pure chance - know that i appreciate you! every single one of you are so talented and so wonderful. thank you for being the threads that shaped the comfy sweater that is 2023 for me <3 ps. and for my former moots who are minors but have respected my boundaries, i'm sorry i didn't tag you but i had fun befriending you lot. my best wishes for you in the years ahead too! pps. some of you might know me from my main @/meimeimeirin instead! i separated the list into 2 paragraphs bc tumblr isn't letting me have that many texts in one block apparently hsldfjsd also, if you're not in the list i either 1) forgot, bc i have the memory of a goldfish, or 2) remembered, but felt like it would be intrusive for me to tag you <- (more likely tbh) 😔

@/jjovin3221, @/starffox, @/syrenkitsune, @/finleyrambles, @/dr-birb, @/smokipoki, @/1117sblog, @/virdiaura, @/lawnfei, @/lady-alexis-salt, @/local-ragamuffin, @/the-knaves-world, @/alhaithams-fanfic-stash, @/interpretpages, @/magicalink, @/starlingcore, @/lyralibra, @/crazyrichdaughter, @/winterhuntsman, @/ladycoleigh, @/bettybeako

ALSO, HUGE SHOUTOUT to the people who frequent my notifs. i can't remember most of yall's handles accurately (and for some of you i remember by your pfp instead hskdhskd) but whenever your username pops up, know that i always go "!!!!!" and my imaginative dog ears perks up and my metaphorical tail just starts thumping on the floor <3 thank you so much for your continuous support!! (and i know some of you wrote in my tree so thank you for that too hehe) note: that wasn't an exhaustive list, but more like the blogs i remember seeing a lot on top of my head!!

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 🧡

thank you for such a lovely 2023! thank you for being here and for always supporting my works, my silliness, and myself as a person. here's to more fun shenanigans ahead, and i hope 2024 will be a year that makes us all a better person <3

ꕥ xmas dividers © cafekitsune

[bewitchedfeathers]

Sneezy Sniper - Hell/uva Boss Snz Fic

Absolutely! Thank you anon for this request!

And thank you to the people who commented/tagged my last Hell/uva fic! It motivated me to finish this one as quick as I did!

------

“Alright, Moxxie, target spotted and coming your way.” Blitzo said through his earpiece.

“Got it, sir. I'm in position.” Moxxie was laid on a plateau surrounded by tall grasses and wild flowers, sniper rifle at the ready to take out the target.

“And I've got your back, Mox,” Millie said from beside him, keeping an eye out for any danger from the woods behind him. And keeping him company, since danger wasn't super likely on this job.

“See you back at the office. And Moxxie?” Blitzo said casually.

“Yes, sir?”

“Don’t fuck it up.”

Moxxie glared even though his boss couldn’t see it and huffed with exasperation. Blitzo just chuckled as he disappeared through a portal back to their office and then his comm cut off. 

Moxxie lined up his shot and settled in to wait, even his tail settled low in the grass and slightly curled in antcipation. He sniffled and brushed a few pieces of grasses away from his face. He tried to clear his head but he was distracted by a tickling feeling in the back of his nose. He rubbed his face against his shoulder trying to reduce the itch while keeping his eye pressed to the scope. But the tickle wasn’t backing down at all.

Shit. He needed to sneeze but the target could appear any second.

“Mih-illie…I nee-hhh-need…hheh…”

“Moxxie?” Millie turned her attention to her husband and quickly realized that Moxxie was fighting a sneeze and losing without being able to use his hands to hold back. “Oh darlin’, I got ya.”

She laid down, pressed along his side and shfited her arm so she could press two fingers to his flaring nostrils. She rubbed her fingers firmly back and forth.

“Hh..huhhh…? Ohh, thanks Millie,” he sighed with relief as the urge to sneeze lessened. He was sure his cheeks were burning with embarrassment at having to get Millie’s help to hold back a sneeze, but it was better than missing he target. He sniffled weakly trying not to throw off the equillibrium they’d reached. 

Then his breath caught again, hitching despite his best efforts. It just tickled…so badly… “Huhhhh….hh-hih….” He rubbed his nose against Millie’s fingers trying desperately to hold off. His eyes were beginning to water and he hastily blinked away tears.

“Just hold on a little longer, Mox.” 

“I’m-hih…I’m trying…Hihh…” Millie pinched firmly at his nose, buying him a little more time. Then he held his breath as he saw the target through the scope and took the shot. 

“You got ‘im baby!” Millie confirmed and Moxxie clambered to his knees and hastily brought a hand to his face. “Issht-Tshxt-Ishxt..’ He stifled a triple and then lowered his hand.

“Gesundheit, Moxxie.’ Millie shifted to sitting next to him with a curious look when he heaved in an unexpected gasp. “Ishhxt-Tsshew-ISSHHIEW…Hhh..”

“Gesundheit. Baby, you gettin sick or somethin?”

“Ndo..hih-hh…I’mb finde-Huh’ISSHHEW…hh-Hihh’EISSHHuhh…”

“Mox?” Millie asked with some real concern as his eyes dripped with sneezy tears and his face grew flushed around his nose. 

“Sorry I cah-cand’t stop-EISSHHuh…hihh’’Huh’ISHHHEW hh….ISSHXT-shieww - EISSHHhhh…oh cru’bs..” He winced as he noticed the pollen floating in the air around them and assumedly the cause of his current condition.

“Oh Moxxie. You must be allergic to somethin out here,” She rubbed his back at he let out another triple. Then she reached into his inner jacket pocket for the handkerchief he carried, but rarely needed unless he was sick, and pressed it into his hands. “Blow your nose, baby. I’ll pack up your rifle.”

He nodded his thanks as he muffled more sneezes into the kerchief. He was so grateful Blitzo wasn’t here to see him becoming a complete wreck from some earth plant life. 

“Hh’Huh’MPHTSHOO…ESshmph…” He blew his nose and kept the kerchief pressed to his face in hopes it would help him stop sneezing for a minute.

“Alright, upsie daisy,” Millie said brightly as she scooped Moxxie into a bridal carry, sniper rifle slung across her back. She ran and jumped her way across the grass until they reached an empty strech of road with none of the wild flowers around. 

“Ugh. I’b so embarrassed.” He groaned pitifully into the damp handkerchief, still pressed to his face to hide the mess behind it.

‘Aww, don’t be Moxxie. I still think your cute all red and drippy.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and he smiled bashful and pleased. 

“I love you, Millie.’

“I love you too, Moxxie.”

“ISSHHEW’

Millie laughed softly. “Gesundheit. Let's get you home and take a nice shower.”

-----

Please let me know if you liked it!

Requests are still open if anyone has ideas for what they'd like me to write next!

[ Snz Fanfic Masterlist ]

[the-sky-queen]

Here we are. One year to the day since I created my account here on tumblr. It feels . . . almost surreal. I don't exactly remember where I thought I'd be by this point, but I don't think I pictured this! I've made so many good friends here, seen so much AMAZING art, and overall just had so much fun. For every one of you who follow me, and even those of you who don't, thank you. You all make me so happy. I treasure each and every like, reblog, comment, and ask.

I'm sitting here in awe as I rapidly approach another big milestone here and I couldn't be more thankful. Back when I made this blog, sure I had dreams of finding an audience and connecting with some of my favorite people here, but I didn't get my hopes up. So many instances in my life of never getting picked for one thing or another taught me that the odds are low and not in my favor, but the community here is just so different. People are good. They're nice and supportive and they love it when new people show up. The beginning was hard. There are quite a few of my early posts that still have zero notes. But I've got people hanging around now that like what I make and that honestly means the world to me. I feel seen. I feel like I matter.

Thank you all so much.

I wanted to shout out a few of my mutuals real quick for a super special thank you:

@cattyanon was my first ever follower and it nearly made me cry when I got the notification. It gave me so much hope and joy. It took me way too long to follow you back, Catty, but I'm so happy that I did! your AUs are all so creative and fascinating. Thank you for being my first supporter.

@boom-fanfic-a-latta is without a doubt my closest friend here on tumblr. It all started when I stumbled across Lily's original concept post for Tachophobia. I was instantly obsessed and before I knew it, Lily was DMing me. The rest is history. :) Lily, I can't thank you enough for being my friend. Words don't do this justice. I'll always be grateful to you for caring so much about me. I love all our AUs together and I love writing them with you. Thank you so much.

I followed @totaleclipse573 for Eclipse and stayed for everything else. I love how we feed each other's angsty thoughts. XD Total, I absolutely adore your OCs and I'm so happy that you've taken interest in mine. We may not have a DM together (I suspect that's because we're both too shy to be the one to start it XD) but our interactions are still beyond fun! Thank you for being a crazy fangirl with me.

I followed @estellardreams immediately when I found her here after reading one of her Sonic Prime fics on Ao3. I was caught so off guard when I got the notification that you followed me back, Estelle! XD I instantly rushed to plan a Christmas present drawing for you. (Yeah, I drew presents for each of my mutuals. I only had FIVE then.) Since then, I've gotten to know you better and I've had an absolute blast with you. You single handedly fueled the Tachophobia obsession over winter break and it was so insanely fun. (Seriously, you were posting like three or more chapters some of those days!!! You had me screaming XD) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being Tachophobia's biggest fan and such a supportive friend.

@skywriter97 reached out to me to talk about TMOM and I followed her soon after that after reading some of her AMAZING writing. The two of us are writing buddies, exchanging advice and feeding each other ideas whenever we need it. Girl, I can't thank you enough for letting me ramble about Immortals to you and fueling my obsession enough that I finally started writing it for real. Whenever the prologue goes up, I'll be shouting you out in the notes because it's because of YOU that I finally got moving. Thank you so much.

This isn't all my mutuals. I have more that I don't talk to as much, but even if I didn't mention you by name here, I want you all to know that you mean the world to me. Four of you are personal heroes of mine that I never in a MILLION years dreamed that I'd actually get to be mutuals with. The rest of you are all around EXTREMELY cool people that I am super blessed to have you in my life.

As I end out this post, I once again want to give a massive thank you to ALL of you for sticking around. And thank you so much for making this year absolutely incredible in more ways than one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[dollfacefantasy]

DOLLFACEFANTASY 3K CELEBRATION *✧･ﾟ:*

hii everyone <3 recently i reached 3000 followers, and to celebrate this little milestone i thought it would be fun to do some writing/request games together. thank you so much to everyone who's followed me, read my writing, or left me a comment. this blog has been such a fun outlet for me and i'm super grateful!!

COME PLAY IN MY DOLLHOUSE ♡ to play just pick one of the 'rooms' and send me an ask based on it!

♡ drabbles send me a little drabble request! it can be for any of the characters i write for; smutty, fluffy, or angsty. just let me know, and i'll cook something up for you!

♡ head canons let's share head canons! you can ask me mine or tell me yours about any of the fandoms or characters i write for or any of my fics.

♡ song association tell me a character, one of my fics, tropes, literally anything lol and i'll tell you a song i associate it with! OR tell me a song you associate with one of of those things.

♡ games we can play some games together. this or that, would you rather, fuck marry kill, or anything else related to the characters/fandoms i write for

♡ fic recs tell me some of your favorite fics or ask for some of mine and we can share!

♡ wild card this one is up to you if you have an idea i didn't list!

again thank you everyone so so much! i'm just hoping to have fun with this and all of you. i'll leave this open over the weekend/into next week depending on how many people wanna play.

xo kenny <3

[cecilysass]

20 Questions for 20 Writers

tagged by @baronessblixen and @randomfoggytiger

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 364,789

3. What fandoms do you write for? Only X-Files, although sometimes I have thoughts.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Chicken Dinner, Pause, The Kaleidoscope, The Boy on the Beach, The Marriage Spectacular

5. Do you respond to comments? Not every time. I do in bursts. I feel guilty if I respond to some and not others, so sometimes I just respond to none, especially if it's a long story and I'm posting chapters everyday. I wish it were otherwise, because I sincerely do like engaging with comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I've answered this question before, and I think I decided it was either (1) Opposition and Synthesis, which is a post-Requiem fic that no one has read, written between season 7 and 8, on Gossamer or (2) Ice Water, which was a fic I wrote for an exchange, also beginning of season 8, which is on AO3. Both of them have the same source of angst, which is the season 8 overall angst: missing Mulder.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics have happy endings. I do try not to sew things up too tightly--I prefer to keep it a little open-ended, with the possibility that things could still be complicated, because I guess that feels more real to me. And more in universe, I suppose.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not very often. Sometimes. There was someone recently on a fic who went on a rant about me hating Mulder, but it mostly made me laugh. (Y'all. Let me assure you. This girl does not hate Mulder. She is a ridiculous Mulder champion.) I haven't been that upset by hate on my fics. I've been more upset by seeing hate on other people's.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have. It's always a struggle for me, possibly because I'm not a super visually oriented person. I have betas who help me with this a lot, and I'm grateful to them. I do tend to want smut to feel organic to the story; I don't like when it feels tacked on. (Although listen, I don't judge anyone who wants that either; fanfic is for fun lol.)

10. Do you write crossovers? No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone asked me if they could translate one of my fics to Russian once. I assume that happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet, but mulling that over with some co-authors now.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Mulder and Scully. Sometimes I admit I will also read some Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have many WIPs. Maybe 8-10. I don't post WIPs any more because that experience is too stressful for me; I prefer to wait until the whole thing is done and post then.

16. What are your writing strengths? I revise and rewrite a lot. Dialogue. I used to think I was bad at plotting, but I'm getting better.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I get certain phrases and words in my head and keep reusing them without thinking about it. Then my beta makes fun of me for saying "scowl" 150 times in one chapter. Also, I struggle with visualizing a space and how characters are moving in it. My betas are always like: "What side of the table is he sitting on?" "Where is her leg?" "Is she on the side of the couch with the fish tank or no?" I don't think of these things very well naturally.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? All of my fic is in English, my first and best (by far) language. I would never write in another language unless I had a native speaker willing to help me with this. I included a few lines of Spanish in one fic, but I double and triple checked that. (And it was almost nothing! )

19. First fandom you wrote for? X-Files, unless you count things I wrote as a kid about books.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is hard, but I do love Boy on the Beach, which I researched quite a bit and very carefully plotted out. I also like We're Not Here To Talk About Personal Problems, which was the first fic I wrote for an exchange, an X-Cops post-ep, and really felt like me getting back into new fic.

Randomfoggytiger's additional questions:

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

A hobby, but also kind of a way of life, as it's tangential to how I make money, and it's always something I've done regularly.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Is this what I prefer? Clean, completed manuscript then. I don't like paper journals at all, so while I do have notes, they're only in Google Docs.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

I don't have a specific event, person, or work of art. I will say I think I am influenced by having had some training writing for the stage. I often write dialogue first and then fill in everything else around it. And I think about plays I've read or seen a lot when I write.

4.Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

First draft. I revise a lot. And I'm an amazing singer, or at least I am so far as you know.

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

I feel like I should say yes, but no, not that I can remember specifically.

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

AO3

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

364,789 - Am I satisfied? I don't know. Do I win something at a particular number? Assuming no, the number doesn't really matter to me. I would be sad if I never posted anything again though, because I enjoy it.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably? I really loved From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler when I was a kid.

9. What's the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it? I've received such generous feedback on my fic of every kind, and honestly I could never hope to say which kind was the best. I'm grateful for that. I will say that someone told me on Pause that my D.C. geography was spot on, and I was really thrilled about that, since I spent quite a bit of time "driving" from Georgetown to Alexandria on Google Maps / Street View to see what it would be like.

10. What defines your writing style?

Dialogue. Angst. I don't know. What else? It's hard for me to see!

Tagging: @phillippadgettwrites @atths--twice

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

a couple of years back i was pretty vocal about not getting when people complained about their art not getting "enough" notes. but i'm getting to recognise a sub-category of that frustration these days that, in fairness, was maybe what people were talking about all along? but i've also seen other posts mention how fandom spaces feel changed since the last few years, so maybe it's a new thing or at least a thing that hadn't reached my fandom corner until now.

i truly don't mind if my writing doesn't garner a lot of attention (although i say this from a place of priviledge where my writing has so far always garnered some attention, and often a lot more than i anticipated). but what is really starting to grate a little is the amount of attention vs. the amount of reaction. For example, before the latest update on my big multichapter fic, it sat at ~ 33,050 hits. since then the fic has been clicked 400 times. the kudos count went up by maybe three and there were three new bookmarks - this isn't super surprising because i don't expect to be reaching a lot of new people with an unfinished 100+k word fic in a dwindling fandom, and if they're return readers they can't leave new kudos. but five people have commented on the fic since the update. One percent of readers who have clicked on this fic have reacted. Did all these people see it on the recently updated feed, started to read it, didn't vibe with it and moved on? That honestly wouldn't bother me. But it's been steadily gaining attention for the last few weeks, long after it moved off the first page of the recently updated view for the fandom. so rather, I think it's mostly subscribed users (the fic has a little over 400 active subscriptions so that would make sense) or people actively checking back on the fic. in which case they must be at least somewhat invested in it.

and again, i'm not owed any feedback. i put my work out for free and people decide what to do with that. but fandom is a collaborative space, and it's been feeling like less that for a while. people seem less ready for conversation, and i think that's sad, and quite demoralising for creatives (at least for me personally). fandom work isn't meant as bingeable content that you consume and then leave. if you do that on netflix, that's fine, because you're paying the platform and they're at least supposed to recompense the creatives who made the show you just watched. fandom artists don't get that. we make things for the love of it, and because we wanted to share that love. it doesn't feel like sharing though when you put something out there and nothing comes back. it feels like standing in an empty warehouse telling my stories to nobody. and, again, i'm personally lucky enough that it's not like that all the time, but i get why people stop doing it. and i get that engaging with art as an audience member doesn't come easy to everyone, but fandom culture needs it. it's supposed to be an exchange. it's supposed to go both ways, and i think if you want to sustain the culture, you simply need to try and give something back, whatever that is.

because putting something you made out there and nobody looks at it is definitely not a great feeling, but having anonymous masses file by and look at your thing and then meet you with deafening silence feels... worse.

[pacific-rimbaud]

(this is not to fix or invalidate how you feel at all!!) but my jaw dropped seeing that there were hate threads?? on the dramione reddit i see laoha constantly mentioned in a "what will fill this laoha shaped hole after finishing", "where else can i find platinum tier banter like this" way and not one bad word to say. i'm so sorry to hear there was hate and that it affected you, your writing comes across so confident and well-seasoned but ofc you're human too. keep on rockin pac!! we ADORE you!!

Oh, geez. Fandom-ancient discourse under the cut.

For anyone who's newish, back when laoha was publishing (end of 2019 to end of 2021) it was a thing on Facebook and Reddit to have several threads a week soliciting negative comments about specific fics. It was often phrased as a question like, "Which fic did you DNF and why?" or "What turns you off of a fic?" but sometimes it was more like, "I hated [whatever fic], does anyone else feel the same way?" And then people would proceed to drag the shit out of works and writers. I was by NO MEANS the only person impacted, although I may have had the highest ratio of hate to actual readership. Writers made it super clear that it was hurtful, that they no longer felt able to participate in fandom spaces because of the negativity, entitlement and cruelty, and people would tell them to grow a tougher skin. I mostly stayed out of it at the time, because discourse is always awful and pointless and I'm a pretty small potato in a spectacularly huge fandom. Also, it's the internet, and effective moderation is hard work. Thankfully Reddit made the decision to ban those threads, and hopefully it's become a more welcoming community as a result. Which is really my entire point. There is a human being behind every single fic a reader encounters, whether it's the top-fic-by-kudos masterpiece that nothing will ever equal or a palate cleansing speed read or whatever. Overwhelmingly those people are also readers who often want to engage in the community aspect of fandom. At that time, human beings who wrote for fun in their free time were going . . . this is incredibly hurtful, please stop, and some readers were effectively saying, on a constant basis, fuck you, shut up and give me more 100k+ fic written exactly to my personal tastes. Publishing my wildly uneven first-ever novel-length work with an unpopular Hermione in that climate was not a great experience for me, and it took its toll. Enough time has passed that I've mostly been able to sift through, take what helps me and leave the rest. Like: I will NEVER write miscommunication again! I'm also SO grateful to hear that some communities have chosen to take responsibility for shaping not just the tone but the values of their spaces. It was the right thing to do and too long in coming. Hopefully new DHr writers feel embraced and supported if they choose to engage in fandom social media. It should be fun. I honestly don't know what any of us are doing here if it's not.

That is not what you asked for, anon, but there you have it: ancient discourse that I hope has become irrelevant. I'm so glad to hear people are being kind!

[humanpurposes]

hi :)

The last few weeks have been super tiring but also really exciting for me, and I'm trying to write when I can! I've been slowly chipping away at Chapter 16 of Karma is a God, and it's in my mind to write the second part of Nightblooms, the next part of Florismond, and that summer romance oneshot done fairly soon-ish. I'm getting impatient with myself at this point lmao.

Alsoooo I'm 1 follower away from a lil milestone which is very cool! I started posting my fics with no expectations and I'm so grateful for all the lovely likes, kudos and comments, even on fics I've not updated for months. I just wanna say big love to anyone who's new here, and to everyone else because I know I wouldn't have stuck with writing this long without the support of you crazy internet people <3