#and I'm so fucking scared that they're gonna hurt themselves because me

[amazing-shit-went-down]

.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Ed, cutting himself off mid-sentence: STEDE we need to leave

Stede, who had been laying back on their picnic blanket and dreamily watching the clouds: hhwaht

Ed: there's a bee

Stede: well, we're outside. where the bees live

Ed:

Stede: that came out mean. I just meant that we should maybe probably expect bees to be here because we're sharing the outside with them

Ed: okay but this one's getting really close. And he doesn't look very friendly

Stede, sitting up to see the bee bumbling on the flowers close to their blanket and putting on a silly voice: "ooh! hello there! I'm Bartholomew the Bumblebee!"

Ed, doing the same voice: "and I'm gonna sting Ed in his FACE even though he's innocent and doing absolutely nothing to provoke me"

Stede: "no I won't! As long as Ed leaves me alone, I'll leave him alone! I'm not all that scary!"

Ed: look, Stede, there are some things in life you just can't trust. Sometimes thinks look cute and innocent but they'll get you, they'll fucking get you the instant you let your guard down

Stede: well

Ed, his eyes starting to well up: and - and sometimes you let them into your life even though you don't know how dangerous they are, and it really scares them because what if they hurt you? What if they're just - I dunno, accidentally taking advantage of you, and one day they'll snap and fuck up and -

Stede, gently taking Ed's face in his hands: Ed. Sweetheart. You're not dangerous, and I'm not scared of you.

Ed: maybe you should be!

Stede: no. And I think you actually have a lot more in common with that bee than you think, Ed, because you know what? Bees only sting in self-defense. They don't do it to be mean. Sometimes that's just the only way they have to protect themselves

Ed: you really think that?

Stede: yeah. Yeah, I do. They don't deserve any blame, Ed, and neither do you

Ed: *leans in for a kiss but notices the bee has landed on their blanket and screams so loud right in Stede's ear that Stede jumps right off the blanket*

[vivgst]

COD Headcanons

I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?

As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.

Okay thats all thanks<3333

Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?

Alejandro Vargas

I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".

“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”

Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.

Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.

He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.

Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.

I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.

MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.

I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.

Simon Riley

He’s very chill I love him <3

I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.

He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).

Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.

He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.

He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.

Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...

John MacTavish

Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.

Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.

Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.

Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.

Too charismatic and funny.

Kyle Garrick

He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.

Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.

Kinda family oriented.

He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.

Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.

I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.

Hot lover.

John Price

Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.

He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.

Loves whiskey.

Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.

I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.

If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).

Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.

Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.

He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.

Phillip Graves

He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.

“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.

A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.

Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.

Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.

Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

Of course straight, loves to be white and American.

“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.

Fuck you graves.

Rodolfo Parra

Perfect.

He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.

Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.

Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.

Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.

Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).

Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).

Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.

Have a pretty smile.

Valeria Garza aka MAMI

Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.

Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.

She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.

Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.

Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.

Did drugs once and hated it.

Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.

Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.

I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.

She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).

I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.

She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.

She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.

I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.

I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.

Wouldn't divorce once she's married.

Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.

As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).

[poppy-metal]

mafia jordan corruption kink except they slowly work you up to stuff and get rougher each time because they don’t want to scare you off

like even though they know you’re gonna like it in the end anyway they can’t have their sweet little wife afraid now can they?

….unless she’s into it ;)

-🪻

I'm gonna cry them making you lay out on the bed, panties down, or more lewd, pulled to the side by your own hand - while they dip their hand between your legs - biting your lip, gasping when you feel their fingers - long and rougher than yours - part your folds. stroke through your wet slit.

"aw, baby." they'd sigh - kissing the side of your head. "so fucking wet."

you're trembling - feeling exposed and hot all over. wet and messy between your thighs you can hear the sounds the slick sounds of jordan touching your cunt and it makes you so flushed. "I - I dont know - i cant help it-" cant help how your hips jerk up a little into the touch.

"its good -" they reassure and you whine when you feel the pad of their fingers press against your entrance where you're dripping. hide your face in their neck, inhale their scent, sharp and clean and so so good. "it means you like it. and this -" they dip their fingers in just the smallest bit, barely a stretch at all, just scooping out some of that slick fluid you cant seem to stop creating, leaking "- is gonna make sliding inside you so easy."

god, just the reminder that jordans gonna be inside you soon - that's what this is for. practice. working you up to it. you feel dizzy, the idea of jordan - of jordans cock - pushing and filling that tiny hole between your legs. another gush drips out of you and jordan groans.

"fuck, how are you this fucking wet." you dont even feel bad about it, they sound so fucking reverent about this fact somehow. amazed. "that's right, keep giving me all that cream to spread around -"

they use the slick they'd gathered from your hole to sweep across your throbbing little clit and you arch off the bed, mouth dropping open. its so slippery, everything so wet and hot, their fingers rubbing circles over the hard nub you'd never dared touch yourself - with your own juices.

they keep their thumb pressed there, sliding two fingers inside you - just wet enough they sink inside easy, with a wet squelch.

"oh fuck - " at the same time you whine "jordan!"

"they fucking slid right in - god, you're fucking tight. you thinkin about it?" they slowly pump in and out of your hole, fingers coated in you - "me opening this little hole on my big dick? it's gonna split you the fuck apart -"

your nails dig into their arms, their big tatted arm, feeling the muscles their flex as they work their fingers inside your tight spasming insides. jordan is breathing hard themselves, like this is affecting them just as much, "jordan -" you whine. "its gonna hurt-"

"no, baby." you get a kiss pressed to your throat, licking along the skin. they're half leaned over you, chest bare except their black sweats, and you cant help but look down, seeing that thick corded arm moving - "daddy's gonna get you so wet. gonna eat you out - "

another gasp of their name, your stomach tightening.

"get that little princess cunt dripping down the fucking sheets before i spread you open and feed you this dick."

"oh-" you gasp, eyes rolling back. "oh-

"that's it - clamp that pussy on me - give me that cum-"

you think you see god.

[nqmonarch]

Red Flags in HSR Characters

I have a problem of simping for the most red flagged characters except I can't handle red flags. Like violence makes me nope the fuck out of any relationship, I am so scared of getting hurt in any way, shape, or form. In real life I'm fucking terrified of being manipulated into being dependent on someone because I've experienced that shit and it isn't fun. Hate being insulted, degraded, all of that.

But the red flagged characters are just too cool???

Like Dr. Ratio, sure he's a pompous shit and would probably end up degrading you which I hate but he's so cool?! So I need to find some way to make him into this weird yellow flag without making myself into some super genius because no way is that gonna happen.

So instead put him in like a tutor AU, he's teaching you and when you get something wrong he gives you such a side ways insult. Like it takes a minute to realize it's an insult, it's worded in such a creative peculiar way. The second it registers you begin doing ten times worse on every question. It doesn't take long for him to realize that being told you're shit isn't inspiring to everyone. So he takes a... kinder approach. He's still a hard ass and strict but he's actively trying to do better and you can tell, when he starts a sentence suddenly stops and then brings that sentence in a completely different direction. You both end up learning. You end up learning the material and he ends up learning how to be somewhat better at dealing with people whose ideal day isn't being insulted.

Then there's the aeons. i simp for all of them, like how can you not??? Especially Nanook (using he/him pronouns for Nanook), Yaoshi, IX, and Aha. Now first off IX isn't a red flag IX is a lovely little black hole who I will defend with my life. But the other three??? They're as red as a stop sign.

Like sure, Nanook would probably destroy you the first chance he gets. Maybe Nanook is the destruction because he wants to be destroyed. I, I don't know man. Like he's so beautiful but how the hell do you even write romance with him? That isn't just like destroying the love interest.

Maybe he's had an insatiable urge to destroy everything ever since the dawn of his existence and he can't remember why. He's always been filled with rage, hatred, toward everything that's existed. Then he sees you and it all comes rushing back toward him. Your death, the hole it filled, the only thing that could really be blamed was the universe. It was everyone and everything's fault. So he would destroy it all to protect you.

Still a red flag but man I'm trying my best, no matter what Nanook will always be a red flag. Yaoshi on the other hand... surely there's a way I can make Yaoshi into a yellow flag after all they just want to help.

Yaoshi who would save your entire planet, heal every individual part of the ecosystem and every person, just to see you smile. They would ask nothing in return and instead remain by your side, enjoying the beautiful of the world. Then the mara strikes, people begin to lose their minds and themselves and you're left to beg them for a way to reverse this. But this is the price of life.

Yaoshi assures you that this is natural but they still watch on in horror as you inevitably succumb to the mara as well. Only then do they try to figure out how to fix it.

The further I get the more hopeless I become. Then there's Aha...

They probably found you entertaining at first, a human full of surprises and excitement, someone that could survive any trial. Then you grew on them a bit more and they found himself becoming attached. Aha wasn't supposed to be attached but this of course just makes an opportunity for more entertainment! Now they're actually invested and can experience the nail biting tension of all this drama!

Just another form of entertainment, it'll be a shame when you're gone though.

Then there's all the other beautiful red flags Ruan Mei, Jing Liu, Blade, Luocha, and Aventurine and Sunday seem like red flags as well even though they're not out. Like if bad to date why do I want to date?

Their red flags are a part of them and it's hard to work around it, so sometimes you just gotta embrace it. Life's rough man. In the end it's my fault for liking red flags. I'll just stick to Jing Yuan for now, peak husband material.

[threepandas]

Bird4Bird Part 1: Yandere!Hawks

Quirk Use Laws? Pretty much forbid anyone NOT a Hero from Flying. Even if they have wings. Even if they were born with them.

Society isn't fair. Never has been.

It doesn't MATTER if you have wings fully capable of carrying you through the skies. Of that freedom so few could only dare dream off. You didn't offer yourself up on the alter of Heroics or the meat grinder of Villiany. Stay on the fucking ground.

You haven't flown since childhood.

Not even so much as gliding. Have gotten in TROUBLE time and again for daring to fully extend them, just to stretch. Long learned to ignore the screaming, begging, jibbering mess of instincts that just... just BEGS you. Pleads with you. To just for a MOMENT...

No one would ever have to KNOW!

.......yeah. Yeah sounds like a lie to you, too. But you can't blame um. It. That part of you. You weren't built for this.

Literally.

Your wings are fucking massive. You've lost count of the times you've clipped door frames. Wall corners. Furniture. They're not DAINTY. Not pretty little short term flight wings, built for flitting about and bright colors. They are TANKY. Meant to carry you and carry you and CARRY YOU. Hold weights most couldn't lift.

You got a LOT of pressure to be a hero as a kid.

Now you most just get a lot of pressure to HAVE kids. Lots of um. Gotta pass on the quirk! Be a good little broodmare! Since, you know, YOU failed to give us what we wanted. It's messed up.

And it's not happening.

Not in a society like THIS. Honestly, you'd get your tubes tied if you COULD FIND A DOCTOR TO DO IT. But again! Quirk. Broodmare. Pop out winged babies. Like HELL you will. Not when they'll never get to fly. Not when it's a life of forced combat for the state or being chained to the ground.

You? You can bear it. You're strong enough. You've HAD to be. But you're not gonna let them do that to any hypothetical kid of yours. You'd sooner fucking die.

Speaking off? Some fuckers never learn. Another "life was mean n unfair so I'm gonna take that out on everyone weaker then me, instead of aiming for the people actually responsible, cause I'm a COWARD" mother fucker. And LOOK! How original! He has bom-...

Wait, FUCK-!!!

The bastard HAD bombs. You, along with most of the idiot "hero chaser~♡!" Crowd you were trying to get PASSED, got thrown back. At least it didn't hit directly. Those up front would have died. Which? From the sounds of panic? Is finally starting to OCCUR to those idiots.

You DON'T SAY? Really. Getting near open combat? Dangerous? Fucking Shocking!

Still, you pull yourself up off your back (fucking OW, you don't sleep on your back for a REASON). Fling your hand forward to let your talons slam onto the concrete (not like it can get any MORE fucked up, who's gonna notice a few holes?) then lever yourself up and forward.

You let the, admittedly, incredible strength of your jacked upper body, do more the just roll you upright. You GRIP. Push off. Muscles rolling under your intentionally baggy clothes as you move, like the apex predator you both are and pretend not to be.

Cause there's kids. There's ALWAYS fuckin kids at these things. They want to see the Heros(~☆™). Want to BE them. Have no goddamned idea how dangerous what they're doing IS because everyone around them treats as safe, normal.

But it's NOT.

And now those kids are hurt and on the ground.

They are scared, confused, and don't know what to do. The adults around them more concerned with saving themselves then protecting the most vulnerable amongst them. You shove passed. It's EASY.

With your wings? With the muscles that came WITH them? The size you got from either your Quirk or just dear ol dad? You are a TANK. If you say move. They MOVE.

You get to the kids. Raptor eyes and sensitivity to blood, perfect for hunting, picking out prey. Even BETTER for picking out boo-boos. That's right everybody, big bird lady, here with band-aids and the reassuring Adult Voice Of Command In A Scary Situation. We're all okay. Everybody together now.

You assess the damage. Not great, could be worse. At least they aren't preschoolers. You nearly got ARRESTED that time for almost punching a cop. The one with the badly twisted ankle can't stand. You haul him up under an arm. You'd toss him over a shoulder, but he'd be exposed.

Time to- The children scream in terror. Your head snaps around, towards the fight. What the HELL have they been DOING?! How has it gotten-!? One of the Villians attacks is headed directly at you and the kids.

FUCK Vigilante Laws. You're not dying today. Neither are these kids!

Your wings snap out to their full size.

Curving like a deep, earth toned, fortress of feathers around you, as you raise them to shield yourself. You activate Strong Bird. (Your dad had Strong Man, your mom had Pretty Bird. Yeah, they thought they were clever when they had a really REALLY powerful avian Quirked kid. Gee! What to name THAT quirk?)

Your wings, already powerful, become nigh unbreakable in their strength. You can't hold it long. But you don't NEED too. Just to tank a hit... that never comes.

You don't know what's happening and you don't CARE. Amateur hour out there nearly got these kids killed TWICE. So the wings stay up. C'mon fledgling, everybody back up, nice 'n slow. Hmm? Yeah. Yeah, sweetheart. JUST like ducklings.

Of course, while the kids get EMTs? (As they should) You get the delightful threat chorus of the City's Finest. Serve and Protect, everybody! You'd grin and bear it... but you kinda have fangs. Lil baby ones. But APPARENTLY they count as "threatening a police officer". Quirkist mother fuc-

"Problem, officer?"

Too close! Hand on shoulder! AAAH, FUCK! You jump. Wing slaming out in reflex, trying to dislodge the "suprise attack". You didn't hear his come up behind you! SILENT MOTHER FUC-!!! You whip around to the sound of snickering.

Delighted eyes more suited to a corvid then the raptor they're attached too, mock back at you. The Avian/Winged Quirks of Japan Golden Boy. Mr. Model himself. Fuckin Hawks, in all his fuckboi glory.

".....I'm not apologizing. You snuck up on me." You growl, FULLY ignoring the offended noise the officer next to makes.

You... do NOT like the corvid grin, Hawks is giving you. He seems fully aware of it.

The longer you both lock eyes... the more your feathers puff up. Shoulders slowly rising to damn near your ears. S...Stop That! I'm BIGGER THEN YOU! I could take you! You... you WANNA GO, you flighty lil shit!?

He reachs forward. Telegraphing his moves. And...?

Tugs at a flight feather.

YOU PUNCH HIM.

The Judge is very understanding. Your lawyer, paid for by Hawks, somehow gets you community service at his agency. (You wish you punched him harder. But those are INSIDE thoughts.) It? Wouldn't be so bad... if he wasn't such a little corvid CREEP.

Always trying to startle you. Endless wing tugging. Staring contests. Stealing your lunch. Stealing BACK your lunch once you've stolen it from HIM. Moving your SHIT. It's like he's TRYING to set off Every Single Instinct You HAVE.

You're gonna kill him.

This is your Supervillian origin story. Mr. "Ooooh~ isn't it a SHAME you can't fly? I can fly!" LORDING his FUCKING LICENSE over you like a [censored in untranslatable Raptor swearing]!!!

If you find! ONE MORE! Of his FUCKING FEATHERS!!! In your shit?! You are gonna running tackling him out the nearest WALL. And frankly? You don't CARE what magazine he's in now! Stop SHOWING YOU! Stop filling your desk! Stop SITTING on your desk! Yeah, yeah, world's greatest hunter. You caught a purse thief today. Woooo. Good for you.

We're it not for the many, MANY witnesses? These Talons would...

"Love to see ya TRY~" the asshole croons, leaning forward, into your space. "You're fast. But I'm FASTER! But hey, maybe ya manage it! Go ahead. Big strong grip, you might even catch me~ DO you WANT to catch me, my lil hunter?"

Condescending FUCKER. What, because he's a hero, you're no threat AT ALL?

You slam your hands down on your desk, either side of him, to pull yourself to your feet. To TOWER above him like a wrathful avian god. You're so furious... you don't notice the way his eyes dilate. The shudder that goes through him.

The way his calculating golden eyes follow you as you storm away, a titan of feathers and wrath, from behind his ever fixed PR mask.

He steals another pen.

He knows it's going to aggravate you. As is the doodling on you paperwork. The swiping of several random pages. The moving your paperweight. Wing tugging. Pay attention to me. Mischief and danger. It's just a passing whim, he tells himself. He'll get bored, he lies. We have nothing in common!

(Cages come in so many shapes. Is your's as unbearable as mine?)

[kandadze]

Ep 34 loose thoughts

Here we go, the finale!!!

....... This drama really does not fuck around when it comes to grief. ZYC's reaction to seeing Bai Jiu absolutely gutted me (it's usually the pain of those left behind that gets me the most and boy, was ZYC's pain palpable. Like the unbearable weight crushing your chest). The way he immediately looked away first, like he just *couldn't* face this. He's faced so much already, and so, so bravely, but this, this was *too* much.

And then their song came on, he noticed the bells in Bai Jiu's hand, and I lost it. (I could literally write paragraphs about everything going on in this one scene, and I probably will, but I *really* need to calm down first.)

The whiplash I got when the scene switched to WX still being slammed against hard surfaces... this would be a good moment for ZYZ to appear!

😭 omg I can't believe her tears brought him back. I mean, I *can,* this is not the first time this drama demonstrates that brute strength is not always the answer and vulnerability and our bonds with others can overcome obstacles, it's just, I didn't quite expect it to work so well!

Ahhhh okay, it was her tears powered up by her divine power. My previous thought still stands though lol

.................

Oh no. When Fan daren looked at ZYZ and told WX that someone else will look after her now I was not only bawling but also going, *will* he though? Or will she lose ZYZ too, right after losing her dad? 😭

(The analytical part of my brain can't help but tick off the scenes from MV as they click into place... just a few left to go, and I'm really scared now)

Oh no are we having a zombie demon apocalypse now? (Oh no, don't tell me that the only way to deal with this is to use Baize token, as she just unconsciously did with her dad? So either ZYZ or ZYC have to sacrifice themselves to heal WX so she can do her thing? Is this how we're going to lose one if not both of them????)

Oh fucking hell I was right. Only WX is ready to sacrifice herself - "this is the final sacrificial spell..." Why are all of them like thisssss (don't answer that, I'm just having a lot of feelings about everyone in the squad and how they're always ready to do everything in their power, including dying, to make sure the others get to live. I can't remember being this feral about a group of characters in a *long* time.)

IS ANYONE SURPRISED THAT ZYZ WENT, ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, NOT ON *MY* WATCH??? (I hate being right.)

Omg are you really talking about the pendant, or something else, ZYZ?! Fuck me do I even continue watching at this point when I'm pretty sure I know where this is going???

Yup, I continue. See the world clearly and all that.

😭😭😭

But how is him dying to kickstart her powers gonna help with the poison though???

Aw ZYZ, that must've hurt, having to do that. (Also, if they both somehow survive, she's gonna kill him for pulling this stunt.) Oh her cries for him are killing me. And him, too. I feel like yelling some more about HMH's acting because his *face,* that self slap, the *pain* - just, perfect in every way.

And speaking of pain, there's still more. ZYC is like a perfect mirror of WX at this moment, having just lost someone so dear, and you can see how it's killing ZYZ inside that there's no time, that he needs to ask ZYC to fulfill his oath *now*...

(I do appreciate the explanation why the "wing" spell worked. The karma is indeed tangled in the most unpredictable twists.)

Like I understand what he's saying, but why the fuck do they have to pay the highest price, and repeatedly. (Oh yeah, because of one schmuck's hubris, that's why.) The Greek tragedy of it all. 😭😭😭

Looking at ZYC now, still remembering him in ep 1, oof, the difference. How he's grown and changed, while the "fate" (ugh but I hate the word and all its implications) remained the same. The way he asks, is there really no other way? 😭😭😭 I'm asking you too, drama!!! Is there really no other way???

I agree, this is fucking absurd.

Oh nooooo are we really going to get an exact repeat of Ying Long and Bingyi, including the "let me do it myself"?!

Oh. My heart pretty much stopped. ZYZ's tiniest gasp 😭😭😭

ZYC REALLY SAID, I DECIDED THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE FOR ME! THIS IS MY DECISION! I AM WILLING TO BEAR THE GUILT OF KILLING MY DEAREST FRIEND FOR ALL THE LIFETIMES TO COME! YOU DON'T NEED TO BEAR IT FOR ME!!!

If this isn't the purest motherfucking love, I don't know what is. (ZYC, the man that you are. The *strength* in this guy!)

Oh for fuck's sake don't do this to me, drama! (I mean, after what they've already done there's no point hoping they won't just continue twisting the knife but my poor heart can't take much more...) She was *crawling* to get to where she saw him go, and then that moment her binds disappear and she realizes... 😭😭😭

That little stumble as she sees them, and ZYC looks up and drops his sword. Somehow the aftermath hurts even more. (Ngl I'm somewhat annoyed that - maybe to fend off censorship - we don't get to see ZYC support ZYZ for one last time, we don't get to see him even try to make a move to catch ZYZ's fall or at least ease it somehow, but only this way could WX get him in her lap so I guess, fair. Also, replying to myself here, narrative explanation might as well be that ZYC is so shell-shocked from the enormity of what just happened that he's simply not able to move at all at this point. No matter how strong he is, I can't fucking even begin to imagine what might be going on through his head right now.)

Leave it to ZYZ to take care of everything while he was at it, including WX's poisoned state. He might be a vessel of malicious energy, but the amount of love in this guy is simply uncomparable...

Yes, stupid demon, you are indeed amazing 😭

He turned to look at ZYC as he started fading for good???

My throuple!!!

This... gives a whole new meaning to "crying in the rain," I swear.

😭😭😭

Sorry, I have no words.

For one of the shorter episodes in the series, it sure didn't waste even a second to absolutely crush me.

On... to the extra? Once I can breathe properly again, holy shit.

[tokischaaaaa]

si las más puta' son las más fina' pt.3

!hamzah x !poc reader

warning! : fluff, cursing

word count!: 1.8k

part 1

part 2

FIVE MONTHS LATER...

"hamzah, get your ass in here! it's the baby!" y/n cried.

hamzah ran into their bedroom, shirtless with only a towel messily wrapped around his torso.

"oh fuck! what happened?" hamzah screamed, obviously scared shitless.

"it's the baby, she's kicking." y/n said, tearing up.

"oh my god-- wait, the baby's a she? you found out the gender?"

"i wanted to surprise you," y/n said with a small grin.

another surprise was that a few weeks ago y/n moved in with hamzah. hamzah spent weeks trying to convince y/n to move in since it would make the most sense to have the baby live in hamzah's apartment since y/n's was hardly able to fit a couch.

therefore, after they both were fully aware and processed that they were gonna be parents, they made a promise to one another to try to spend more time with each other, for the sake of their relationship, and for the baby.

"why didn't you call me? like, let me go to the appointment?" hamzah asked, somewhat offended he wasn't there to experience the news with y/n.

"i did, on the calendar. and i put them on post-its all around your house." y/n said, tearing up.

y/n's hormones had definitely made themselves present. since she was six months pregnant, her bump, hormones, etc., had become visible.

hamzah easily got overwhelmed by the increase in hormones, so recently he would spend more time at martin's as an escape from y/n. y/n still worked as a dentist office's assistant, however there was drama at work and y/n felt obliged to tell hamzah.

hamzah was okay with it for a few weeks but soon got tired of the constant gossip. hamzah's lack of explaining how he felt was hurting y/n more than she could describe. the fact that her 'partner' can't even explain how he feels about even the weather was driving her crazy and made her even more emotional.

"oh baby, please don't cry. i'll try to be more aware and check the calendar." hamzah said.

"try?! that's it, try? i'm not trying when it comes to us. i understand i'm not perfect. neither are you, but the fact that you can't even try for such a small thing that actually is a huge deal, is absolutely fucked, hamzah." y/n said, walking out of the room and elbowing hamzah on the way out.

y/n left the bedroom, picked up her keys, and headed for her car.

y/n got into her car and headed for the nearest chick-fil-a. she assumed that her outburst could've been also provoked by her current cravings. as she plugged her phone into the aux, she noticed hamzah hadn't texted her or even followed her.

'does he even care?' she asked herself. she started playing music on her car to get her mind out of such a negative thought. all she knew was that she wanted to get away from hamzah and grab some munchies.

meanwhile, hamzah was pissed. pissed at y/n. the fact that y/n didn't try harder to grab his attention about the important appointment made him feel not heard since hamzah had been very talkative about his dream of having a daughter.

hamzah decided that he needed somewhat of help with y/n since he's never been with a pregnant woman, especially lived with one.

he dialed mandy's phone number and waited for her to pick up.

"what did you do, hamzah?" mandy groaned.

"y/n didn't bring me along to find out we're having a girl," hamzah said in a stern tone.

"you're having a girl?" mandy screamed.

"yeah."

"you don't sound happy." martin said on the other line.

"because y/n didn't bring me along."

"you have got to be fucking kidding me," mandy said.

"yeah, she just went out and i don't know where she went, but I need to talk to her, she's too hormonal." hamzah cried.

"hamzah, pregnant women are hormonal because they're pregnant," martin yelled into the phone.

"yeah, i forgot that," hamzah sighed.

"listen, i'll call her and see where she is. you better be planning what to say to her in the meantime." mandy said.

"okay, thanks mandy." hamzah said.

"yeah, next time tell her how you're feeling. maybe that's the problem, hamzah." mandy groaned before hanging up.

y/n just got her food and was about to drive until she saw an area to park. she noticed her phone ringing.

mandy's contact popped up on her phone.

she pulled over at the nearest parking lot and answered.

"hi mandy," y/n said, grinning.

"hi y/n, what are you doing?" mandy sighed.

"about to drive somewhere to eat chick-fil-a."

"what's up with you and hamzah? he just called and said y'all are having problems again."

"what a pussy," y/n hissed. "no, the thing is that I told him previously about the appointment, but he was so busy and whatever that he couldn't check." y/n said.

"yeah, he's a little dumb, y/n. but don't you think you're acting like sassy hamzah right now with the stomping out and chick-fil-a?" mandy asked.

silence filled the phone call. y/n took a minute to think about what mandy was suggesting.

"you're right, mandy. also, i wanted to surprise y'all with the news. sorry you found out this way, but next time we hang out, i'll make it like a surprise for you." y/n smiled.

"i can't wait. love you, y/n." mandy said.

"love you too. i think i'm gonna head home now." y/n said.

mandy was shocked at the word 'home' that came out of y/n's mouth. y/n's childhood was rough. she never really had a home since being kicked out at 17. even since she moved in with hamzah, she kept referring to it as hamzah's house, not theirs.

hamzah tried to encourage her to call it their home since now y/n was helping with rent.

"okay, stay safe. love you." mandy said, obviously smiling hard now.

after ending the call, mandy urgently texted hamzah.

she's at a chick-fil-a rn, she's heading back to your place.

but you're not gonna believe it, she called your place 'home.'

you and i both know how fucking huge this is.

hamzah looked at his phone in disbelief. he felt tears of happiness leave his eyes.

he knew how important 'home' was to y/n and how bad she wanted to have somewhere she called home. she refused to call their home theirs, but the emotional barrier y/n had up was now broken.

hamzah immediately called y/n.

"hello?" y/n said.

"you driving?"

"yeah, i'll be home in 3. what happened?"

"nothing, just can't wait for you to come home, and I'm sorry. i need to talk more. i love you, y/n. seriously, and I will do more to be present and strengthen our relationship." hamzah said.

y/n was silent on the other line for a few moments.

"oh baby, that's so sweet. i love you too. we'll talk more when I get home, but I really appreciate that." y/n said.

they both said their goodbyes, and y/n was urgent to get to their apartment.

as soon as she used her key to open the door, she was welcomed by an embracing hug from hamzah. he kept some distance so the baby wouldn't get hurt.

y/n laid her chin on hamzah's shoulder and whispered, "i got you food, baby."

"thank you, babe." hamzah said, then kissed y/n's forehead.

he led her to the couch table to set the food down. once they both sat down, y/n got comfortable. before she could grab some food, she got slightly pushed back against the couch by hamzah.

he hungrily started kissing y/n, kissing all over her neck. he placed his arm under her shirt to feel her swollen nipples, which had led to her boobs getting bigger over the past weeks. y/n let a moan escape her lips and grabbed a chunk of his curly black hair.

as hamzah started playing with her boobs, he felt quick taps on his arm. he quickly pulled his arm out of y/n's shirt. "babe, I think she's kicking."

y/n stood straight up. "wait, put your hand here," she said while placing his hand on the side of her stomach.

hamzah felt it. he looked at y/n in the eyes, his eyes began to well up in tears.

"y/n, she kicked." he said, choking on tears.

"i know, honey, i know." y/n said, crying, wiping hamzah's tears away.

hamzah got closer to y/n again and gave her a deep kiss, just like the kiss of the first night they met. but this time, this night wasn't full of lust and clubbing but, a night of an argument and now understanding.

later, hamzah pulled over the food to them to munch on. y/n placed her head on hamzah's shoulder. meanwhile, hamzah had one hand on a burger and another on y/n's stomach.

moments later, hamzah heard soft snores from y/n. he looked down and saw y/n sleeping peacefully. he quietly grabbed his phone and recorded the baby kicking, found the photo of the first sonogram he saw of their baby girl, and a picture y/n sent him while working a few days ago.

he opened instagram and placed two photos on his Instagram story.

hamzah looked down at y/n's stomach after posting those photos. "princess, let's hope your mom doesn't get mad at me for posting our family." he gently rubbed her stomach until he felt the strong kicks.

that awoke y/n. "hamzahhh, she kicks so hard," she groaned.

"she's definitely a daddy's girl," hamzah grinned.

"boy, bye," y/n said before kissing hamzah deeply on the lips.

a large grin appeared on hamzah's face. "can we do something… spicy?" hamzah asked, leaning on y/n's boobs.

"nooo, I'm tired," y/n groaned.

"please, it'll be quick," hamzah said, mocking her.

"no," y/n said, lightly pulling on hamzah's ear.

"okay, okay, don't pull anymore," hamzah cried.

"okay, we can get spicy, but you clean up first," y/n groaned.

hamzah's eyes gleamed. "bet," he said before running to clean the living room.

as y/n waddled toward the bedroom, she jumped on the bed and was about to get ready, but she got a little too comfortable and knocked out seconds later.

"you ready?" hamzah said, bursting into their bedroom. as he saw y/n still asleep, he realized that the other version of quality time wasn't going to happen tonight. hamzah didn't care. he realized what he has, how his dreams are becoming his reality. he has a girlfriend, a baby to come, a baby girl, a princess, a princess that will be welcomed into the world in less than three months.

before hamzah went to join y/n in deep slumber, he took one more photo of the moment.

"goodnight to my princess and my queen," he said to himself.

2 months later,

"Hamzah get in here!" Mandy yelled as she was holding y/n up with both her hands around y/n's arms....

tokischaaa talks: wait this so cute, hope yall like it <3

[judasofsuburbia]

"Will? His name's Will right?"

"That's what Henry said."

"Uh, Will? C'mon kid, wake up."

Will's eyes open slowly and fuck, he's back. He's in the Upside Down. There are two figures standing in front of him, menacing in their shadows. He doesn't even let the light of the repeating red lightning reveal them to him. He screams, immediately wraps his limbs around himself, hides his face, and rocks back and forth.

"This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening," Will chants, muffled by his legs.

"Hey...it's okay, kid," A man's voice says.

"You're gonna be alright," A woman's voice says.

He's never heard their voices before. They're not the warped, dark voices that he heard when El was projecting in the Surfer's Boy Pizza freezer. But he doesn't want to look. He can't. Because then it's all real.

"God, he looks just like the sheep," The man's voice says.

"Sheep?" The woman's voice says.

"What I called the Hellfire freshies."

"Oh," The woman giggles. "Cute."

The man laughs. "I think so. And I'm like their shepard, you know?"

Hellfire? No, don't raise your head, Will. Vecna knows everything about you, he'll pull from whatever he can to get you to look. You're going to lift your head and the shadows are going insert themselves into your body and suck the life out of you. You'll be another puppet in his game.

A clawed hand touches his arm and Will gasps, lifting his head and continuing to scream. "Don't touch me!"

"Shit, sorry," The man says.

Will's curiosity gets the better of him. He looks.

The man, creature (?), is dressed in a black bandana, a shirt with D&D symbols on it, jeans, a green puffer vest, and a leather jacket. He has long, brown curly hair and all black eyes. The man smiles at him and all Will sees is fangs. Will screams again, hiding and cowering further.

"You're scaring him," The woman chides.

"Oh, like a blind cheerleader is going to be more comforting?"

"Hey! Henry said the eyes will look normal soon," The woman whines.

"Right, like mine?" The man laughs darkly.

"Will?" The woman tries. "I'm...I'm Chrissy Cunningham. I'm a cheerleader at Hawkins High--"

The man laughs and Will hears her smack him. Chrissy...

Chrissy...why is that name familiar?

"I was a cheerleader. Eddie, here, also went to Hawkins High. We know your friends. Well, Eddie knows them better than me."

Eddie...his friends' Eddie? Hellfire. That's the club they joined. This is their DM. Chrissy is the cheerleader who died.

Will is shaking and trembling as his head lifts again. He gets a good look at the woman now. She is in a cheerleader uniform, her body bruised and a little crooked. Strawberry blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail. Her eyes are just pale orbs like someone wiped away her pupils and irises away. She smiles at him and it sends a chill down his spine. They're both...almost human. Uncanny valley type. Definitely puppets of Vecna.

"W-what do you want with me?" Will's voice shakes. Tears stream down his face and he wishes he were braver. He wishes he could stand and scream "Go away!" He wishes he were back up top.

"We're not gonna hurt you," Eddie says. He crouches down to Will's level and Will scoots back but is met with a wall of slimey vines. He winces and hurriedly wipes the muck onto his clothes. Eddie takes the bandana off his head and hands it to him. Will takes it hesitantly. Eddie and Chrissy both light up at him accepting it so Will defiantly throws the bandana to the ground.

"We've been waiting for you, Will," Chrissy says, crouching next to Eddie. "We've all been waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?" Will whispers.

Eddie smiles again, long fangs glistening in the limited light. "You're gonna save us, Will. You're gonna save us all."

[teenrickwubbadubdub]

A writing piece of two of my dear friends. Morty C-137 and Eff- I'm sorry,that name sucks. Em. I'm calling them Em. Here it is.

Effie and Morty ( By Rick Sanchez D-127)

The day was happening. It happening,it was day. Then Evil Mor- sorry, Effie,dumb name,said," Hey,Pookie,look who I killed." Then Morty C-137 (the c stands for cunt,and the 137 is how many times Rick Prime should've hit him when he kidnapped him) said," Wowie,even though it would be in character for me to be scared and concerned, I instead am gonna kiss you even through you have nearly killed me numerous times and constantly do violent and evil things,but because you got mean words said to you by an old guy,it excuses you for nearly killing me and my grandpa, even though your trauma is more of a reason than an excuse, and you took hundreds of mortys from their families for nobodys goals but your own." Effie the Terrorist,slave owner and dictator,shook their head and said," Come here and kiss me,ya big lug." The two kissed. Then....LIGHTNING CRASHES! NIGHTHAWKS SWARM THE SKY AS HE EMERGES.........TEEN RICK (dun dun dun!) " Hey guys." Teen Rick said,forgetting why he was there. Morty says,"Oh,look who it is? The fucking [CENSORED] [REDACTED]". Morty and Effie high five,and [####] each others [#########]. Teen Rick goes," You guys are kinda dumb,to be honest. You're kinda stupid,the way you act." Effie stands up (I forgot mention,they're laying on a blanket) and says," Hey,don't talk to my shnuckums that way!". Morty says," Pookie,that was so manly,I might faint. Oh,I'm so dependent on you! You're my OOoooOooOoonly personality trait now! Somehow I consider hanging out with you better than hanging out with Rick! Maybe it's cuz you can legally kiss me and I'm attracted to you! Which kinda implies that I'm just attracted to myself! I also view a girl that I liked but I was still friends with as meaningless even though I literally killed for her multiple times!" Teen Rick raises an eyebrow," Uh...I.... wh-what? You know what-uh...you wanna hear a joke?" Effie puts a hand in their pockets,(they as in multiple people. They also put their hands in Morty's pockets because he's so dependent on Effie he can't even put a hand in his own pockets.) Teen Rick,with his chiseled jaw, shiny hair, muscular teeth and his strange choice of adjectives, says..." I'll take that as a yes? Uh.... Hey,you know what? I'll do some jokes from the audience." Morty raises a hand," Ooh! Ooh! Me! If...if that's alright with you,Effie..." Effie says,with a chuckle and a smirk that has lived through genocide that they have caused completely by themselves, " Sure,bitch." They smack Mortys ass. "Aw,geez,okay. Well,yeah,do some jokes about me,You fucking fuckhead! Fuck!". Teen Rick says, " That sounded forced- uh,okay. Hey,what's up with that hairline-" Effie stands even more up...somehow,and they yell, while charging at Teen Rick, " DON'T TALK TO MY LITTLE MOONPIE CHERUB THAT WAY!". Effie pins Teen Rick to the ground,and starts punching him in the face while yelling at the top of his lungs. Morty watches with a smirk even though he should be concerned because the whole point of him is that he's more human and concerned about the safety of other people,but oh wait,he's dating the person who's doing the violence,so it's fine. Teen Rick yells, " OH GOD JESUS NO NO NO OH THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ANYONE THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN THIS MULTIVERSE OH GOD THIS IS REAL FOR ME I'M SO MUCH PAIN HE'S EATING MY ARM HE'S EATING MY- AAAAAAHHHH!". Effie gets off of teen rick,and turns to Morty. "Heh...he shouldn't have awoken the alpha." Morty smiles and nods," It's like I say,baby sweetie pie, Hurting Someone's feelings is worse than senseless murder and violence." Effie and Morty leave while teen Rick is choking on the floor. Then Teen Rick Prime rescues him and heals him he doesn't die. The End.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Sorry someone asked me about the self harm post and I got really out of hand writing stuff that wasn't really relevant and just mansplaining how I view double life's mechanics in a metaphorical sense as a whole. This really is not anything but I feel like I wrote too much to just delete it now so here

Scared that this is gonna be someone else's bdubs unsweetened lemonade situation but:

double life's mechanic, in essence, is "your life and wellbeing have direct impact on someone else" so when you combine that with the players actions and how they abuse the mechanic to control and punish their soulmates, you get some pretty cool stuff that could be translated into symbolism. If you're insane, of course.

I feel like I should note that I'm not going to go into the queer reading of double life and the anti-soulmate themes because I feel like other people have summed that up better than I could even though I do feel like that is one of the strongest reads of anything in the series. For the sake of argument we're going to be equating a soulbound with someone you have a genuine connection with emotionally and not just your watcher government assigned husband because I do think both are applicable to every soulbound pair in the series.

so with that being said a good chunk of the players, the worst offenders being divorce quartet, instead of seeing their soulbound as a reason to be more careful use their physical pain to punish their respective partners, while hurting themselves in the process.

Scott + Cleo are the most straightforward example, to me. They feel snubbed by Pearl and Martyn so they "teach them a lesson" by hurting themselves, knowing that it will impact their partners. They also enable and push eachother to get more and more dramatic with their "punishments", i.e. through the mutual axe crit morning routine they'd established. They call themselves chosen soulmates but through both the axe crits and other behaviour (e.g. cleo admitting she was "using" scott) it is shown that they don't truly Care For eachother, rather that they simply need eachother to enable themselves.

Pearl is also pretty straightforward: Scott hurts her, so she hurts him back. Despite her gleeful mocking and giggling through it all I'd argue this is not something Pearl ever really wanted to do, especially since the soulbound isn't the only way Scott hurts her in the series (I'd even argue him socially isolating her is worse than the axe crits) and this is the only thing Pearl has to get back at him -- through hurting herself. I also think it's kind of fucked that despite the fact Scott is hurt by this (as in the mechanics apply to him), he always treats it as more of an annoyance until it gets to the point where he's worried about his own life (e.g. when joel chases down pearl, scott specifically yells "Pearl run! MY life isn't worth it!")

It almost becomes this messed up toxic competition for Scott and Pearl to see who can push things further. There's this one part I think about alot where Pearl is doing her usual powdered snow tick damage ("just a tickle", as she puts it) and Scott leaps off a massive cliff and takes out a huge chunk of their healthbar to get her to stop. And he does this all without saying a word.

Martyn is kind of the outlier as the one who engaged in hurting himself the least and even Cleo chills on the axe crits after awhile, I like to think due to her and Martyn's conversation on the bridge and her realising what she is doing isn't fair to him. However, Martyn is not without his own demons since his first reaction to Cleo teaming with Scott was to fucking start hitting her, despite the damage reflecting back onto him (he even pulls out an axe and starts going for crits).

seriously though I haven't seen anyone else comment on this. what the fuck man.

Martyn continues with this later as well, when he catches Scott and Cleo in the middle of one of their axe crit routines and, once they explain what they're doing, starts hitting Cleo again (again, despite the damage reflecting onto him and having just taken an axe crit). This part was especially interesting to me because he never hits Scott even though he's the logical target (no soulbound), the one who actually did the axe crit and just as responsible for the split as Cleo, but afaik he never lays a hand on him.

In fact I'd even say it's worth noting that Martyn is almost on friendly terms with Scott, despite talking behind his back. When Cleo and Pearl get into a game of chicken to see who can stay longest in a pile of powdered snow, Martyn and Scott suddenly start taking damage and, instead of getting angry at their soulbounds (like Scott and Cleo had at the start of the series), Martyn places down his own powdered snow and asks Scott if he wants to do it too, to which Scott giggles and agrees. It seems like Martyn is more or less only concerned about His soulbound.

Like Cleo slowing down and eventually stopping with her axe crits, Martyn stops hitting her after awhile too.

Now while I do realise the imagery is very uncomfortable, it's worth noting that Martyn hitting Cleo is pretty much equivalent to Cleo hurting herself to get back at him, if anything Martyn hitting her does less damage. So at least in the confines of this post the comparison is less beating your wife = cutting yourself and more "here are two people who do mutual harm onto one another, with different methods but the same outcome".

Cleo is also pretty smug through the whole thing and doesn't seem emotionally impacted whatsoever by Martyn hitting her (aside from taking offense) and the two make up relatively quickly as well. What I'm trying to say is Martyn Wifebeater Littlewood is not real but he does suck. It's not Literal physical abuse and it's not Literal self-harm. Other than in Pearl's case I think you could make a case for that literally being the equivalent of her hurting herself because it's all she has to get back at Scott with.

This also opens up a good question of: if hurting their soulbounds is the goal, why aren't all of them doing what Martyn is doing? After all the outcome is the same, the method is just more direct. There's this interesting point here I think then of Martyn being the most outwardly hostile of the four, but also the most direct and willing to communicate, even if he does it in a really awful way.

ALTERNATIVELY that is literally what is happening and both Martyn and Cleo are just insane people.

Outside of the divorce quartet, things get even muddier.

I feel like one of the pitfalls for the purposeful self-damage = self-harm take actually comes from Etho and Joel, early on in the series when Joel is building the RelationShip. Etho purposefully jumps off a ledge to do fall damage to Joel everytime Joel takes damage while building to "teach him a lesson", according to him. He even does this in front of people whose reactions range from amused to slightly taken aback.

Now this could easily be read as controlling behaviour but I feel like that would be severely out of character for etho, who historically has not wanted anything to do with team-ups on any level past convenience. It could be argued that this is what the soulbound system brings out of him now that he is forced to keep track of one other person (and imo he's pretty clear he doesn't care deeply for joel as a soulbound whatsoever) but he is otherwise so unbothered with anything Joel does and, if anything, let's Joel lead their decision-making ("the ship burns, everything burns" was certainly not etho's doing).

The damage he does to himself + Joel is also minimal enough that it doesn't ever get to the point of worrying either of them past being annoying and it's not something Etho does for more than one or two episodes.

So with that what I'm trying to say is there's definitely wiggle room for what it means for individual soulbounds and its overall impact seems to be very dependent on who is doing it and what the intent is behind it.

Which is relevant for the last pair I feel like this is especially important to: Scar and Grian. What does, for example, Scar showing Pearl the powdered snow signify? Is he enabling her like Cleo and Scott with eachother? Is he doing it out of amusement? Does he relate to her plight with Scott due to his own situation with Grian and want to feel some sort of second-hand justice?

It's not really clear, especially added to him hurting himself to get back at Grian for the cheating thing. I'll be honest I'm very scared in general of speaking on Scar's character because he's kind of an enigma to me and I've heard every take on earth about what he actually is like.

There's definitely more to talk about here but this is too long lmao chile

[slicznymartwy]

Hello, loved the way you answered my last ask, your writing is amazing <333 I got a bit intrigued as in the notes you said Billy would love corrupting his SO so I would like to request a little something expanding upon the idea of that

in short, i would love for him to make me worse </333

ilove ur requests so much omgggg this gave me an idea heh heh .. gonna elaborate more in the notes but i just wanted to get this out first warning: dub-con, obsessive behavior, billy in general, not edited or proofread

☾⋆⁺₊ billy lenz x corrupted!reader

you can hear your housemates downstairs. they're laughing and drinking, which was standard for a saturday night. you could hear the clinking of glass from time to time, and you think an argument breaks out between two of the girls. it's difficult to tell when the loudest noise to you is coming from your wet lips, wrapped around him.

your knees hurt, but they're slowly getting past that and to a more comfortable numbness. on the other hand, your jaw aches terribly, and it only seems to get worse with how billy - you only think that's his name - is keeping an unrelenting pace against your tongue.

he's not very big, although you really wouldn't know what to compare that too. you've only seen one other dick before his, but that was in high school. barb likes to tell stories about the guys she meets, and she's either exaggerating or billy is much smaller than average (you're more likely to believe that barb is exaggerating).

his size barely matters because it feels massive in your mouth. he forces you to take more of him, and he holds your head firmly as his dick slips in and out against your tongue. you're drooling, you can feel it on your chin. you love it. god, you love it.

you feel wicked. you've been ruined by a stranger that you sometimes aren't sure really exists. he could be a ghost for all you know - an evil specter that haunts college students and comes on them while they sleep.

he's surprisingly quiet, but when you look up at him you're scared by the look in his eyes. wild and opened wide, turned black in the shadow. he barely reacted beyond the quickened breath. your mouth was so wet, and when his cock brushes against the back of your throat you gag and cough.

billy pulls away, letting you gasp wetly for air. his cock is shiny with your spit, and you hardly recognize yourself when you lean in to lick at his length even as you pant. you remember a few weeks ago when the furthest you've ever gone was a kiss.

the night can't last forever, but it's still cut short with the sound of one of the girls bidding everyone goodnight. she's drunk and slow up the stairs, but billy rushes to hide himself back into his pants and climb the ladder without a word.

you had no chance, not with your brain slow and addled with promises of getting fucked. you're still kneeling in the alcove by the stairs, leaning slightly against the ladder that billy climbed up.

"oh god, are you okay?" barb asks, seeing you on the ground. "what's wrong?"

belatedly, you realize your cheeks are wet with tears shed during the blowjob, and your mouth was still wet and likely swollen. sniffing, you turn your face away and try to wipe off the moisture.

"i'm okay," you say, trying to get to your feet slowly. it hurts as blood starts to flow again. "boy troubles."

"boy troubles? since when did you have a boy that troubles you?" she teases.

you shrug, not in the mood to bicker. once hidden in your bedroom, door unlocked, you lay flat on your bed and stare at the ceiling. your mind flashes with images of come stains and his tongue in between your legs.

notes:

i think for the right kind of person (me) billy could be an attractive prospect. someone who's lonely and feels undesirable suddenly has someone who's absolutely desperate for them .... say less heh heh heh

this is nasty but i like the thought of insert maybe touching themselves into the phone .. like .... letting billy hear how it sounds .. im sure he would have some Things to say about it lolol

but honestly i think that reader would eventually get really upset by it all because they realize billy isn't some prince charming. he doesn't Actually love you because of you. he's not going to take care of you

he's going to use your body because you let him.

he wants to hurt you, he threatens to kill you all the time. even when he's got his tongue deep inside you, he'll pull away to whisper how he'll do it.

and that starts to turn you on too

very vicious cycle

i mean maybe he thinks he loves you. but obv it's not a normal love. and i think that would make it so much worse because he might tell you he loves you, which would just give you false hope.

didnt mean for this to be so angsty but basically he fucks you sloppy and hard and he breaks you, because even years later you'll never feel as turned on as when someone was calling you a pig whore

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

This my contribution to queer Kazui propaganda (I love taking middle-aged characters and making them go against traditional gender norms, truly one of my favourite pastimes)

Ok so I actually have a looooot of thoughts about Kazui and gender and queerness and everything, but right now, what I really want to talk about is the "he shouldn't have lied from the start" argument. (Rather long rant under the cut)

Everything discussed in this post will be in the context of the "Kazui married even though he wasn't in love, lied for years about his feelings, eventually came clean and this is what caused his wife to commit suicide" theory. I know a lot of people have different views on Kazui's story and murder, but this is the scenario I'd want to talk about because it's probably the one I've seen being mentioned the most so far, and the people seeing him as guilty because "he shouldn't have lied from the start" in the context of this theory are starting to bug me a little.

Because basically, saying that is like condemning a man for playing the role he was asked to play in a flawed system (flawed is a euphemism. fuck heteronormativity.) So basically the way I read the "he shouldn't have lied to begin with" argument goes a bit like this : "he should have never taken part in the system from the start". To which I answer : you know, not everyone was born an anarchist and not everyone was raised to question the system. If that was the case for you, that's great! Your conscience is clear and you can sleep soundly at night! But you do realise that for most people, who aren't exposed to anything else, who don't even know that different systems exist, playing along is just the most logical thing to do, right?

Even when you feel like things aren't quite right in your life, you end up thinking that something is wrong with you, not with the system. Because noone questions the system, so surely the problem must come from inside, right?

So you mask your "difference", hoping that it will just go away. You hide your queerness because you've been told that it's disgusting, and so you think it is too. You mask your neurodivergency because your family call autistic people "crazy", and surely you can't be like those people. You grit your teeth and bear through the chronic pain because doctors keep on insisting that "there's no reason for you to be feeling like that", so you downplay your own pain, and maybe the one of other people too. Because that's the normal thing to do right? I must fit into the machine at all cost, because I know how people who don't are treated. And I'm scared of being treated the same way.

Often, one would rather be a coward than a "freak". And I can't really blame them for that. Because people depend on each other to survive. And being chased away from your community seems like a death sentence.

So you bottle it up.

But at some point, you can't take it anymore. You snap. You smash your mask on the ground. You rip appart your costume. You refuse to play this role anymore. A role that has hurt you, and that has also hurt others. That's the way the system works, it puts us into a box, then against each others, and don't you dare break the established rules or there will be terrible consequences!

But you know what? Fuck that. Yeah I've hurt people with my lies, with my ignorance, by being irresponsible. But I can learn. I can change.

And if someone else makes the first step towards being a better person themself, if they accept to see the pain they're inflicting on others and on themselves, well the first thing I'm gonna do is welcome them, not pointing out everything they've done wrong in their life. Retribution and accountability can come later. It will come. But let's take things one step at a time. People are imperfect, changing is hard. But it's not impossible. And I believe that we shouldn't abandon someone just because they're "a lost cause" or "past the point of no return".

But I digress. Because in the case of Kazui, he has realised the harm he has done and he doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore. And in the case of people like these, I'd rather help them move on towards being a better person rather than focusing on their past. What's done is done, all we can do is fixing what can be repaired and making sure it never happens again.

That's why I hate the "Kazui shouldn't have ever lied" argument. Because he can't change the past, and if he could he would. Yes it wasn't right of him to lie, but you know what? I'm gonna say it wasn't wrong either. It was barely even a conscious decision at this point. He just did what he was supposed to. I don't see the point of examining his act through the lense of morality, because in his mind, it was never about what's moral or not. Just what was expected of him (I could go further into this argument and I know not everyone agrees with it but whatever).

Yet people still think Kazui, or really anyone in this situation, deserves to be punished even more? It's kinda like when people get cancelled forever, they're denied the opportunity to change, to make amends, to better themselves. Denied the right to be seen as human beings.

Alright now is the time to derail and extrapolate from this case study because why not.

Because Kazui took the first step towards changing, because he stopped lying, because he said fuck this stupid act I've been putting up all my life, I do believe he's on the right path towards understanding the real problem behind it all. And sure, he isn't an anarchist trying to tear down the system yet. He doesn't even seem to realise that the real issue isn't lying, the issue isn't that there's something wrong with him, no, the real problem is the society that pressures people into heterosexual marriage (and honestly, Kazui is far from the only one in MILGRAM whose crime was very directly influenced by their environment). But I have faith in people like him. I think he could become a system-destroyer™. So for now I'm queering him in hope that someday, he'll queer the world in return.

In the end this post isn't really about Kazui, more so about this specific interpretation of him that's fairly popular in the fandom. I do have a lot of thoughts, headcanons and interpretations of his character in relation to queerness though. But today, he's not really the one I want to talk about. I want to talk about everything else.

I know I may sound quite uhmm, categorical(?) in this post, but I'm actually not all that set on my convictions. This is just what has come to my mind. It is flawed, it is approximative, it is incomplete. But it is what I wanted to say. And I hope you guys have thoughts you'd be willing to share about all this. Because despite how anxious online social interactions make me, I want to hear what others have to say. I want to know about other worldviews and experiences. I want to learn!

Love you guys for reading through all this (and I hope you enjoyed the middle-aged-man-in-dress post haha)

Also I put way too much effort into drawing the apple and the broken mask for the background so I'm putting them here (low quality but still)

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Climb the Walls

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, scared boys, cursing, threats, back stabbing, pissed boss bitch Kells, Dom trying to be comforting, teasing, guns, drinking (not Kells), breaking things, insults, mentions of people as objects, trying to save their people, lost boys, hurt/comfort, past abuse, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

“I have no idea what happened! I just went home for the night and when I came back bright and early they were all gone!” The Doctor was shaking where she had sat on their couch since she arrived about an hour before. The moment the couple realized their friend probably wasn't safe they told her to pack her shit and drive over with her wife. Colson was putting her up in the apartment they'd planned to move Dom and Tom into. He owned the top few floors of the Four Seasons so it was a safe house of sorts. She'd been a mess when she arrived with Dorothy in tow, the female Alpha apprehensive and anxious behind her mate. She and Kells had become friends too over the years but an Alpha was an Alpha, even a good one, and none of them liked to ask for help.

The Doc was fighting back tears every time she spoke. She'd come from a bad home like most omegas but had been able to fight her way through medical school and had been part of Col’s family for almost twenty years. She hated that someone found her place of work, they'd been so careful to hide the makeshift hospital. It was their raison d’être to save as many omegas like themselves as possible and to lose even one was a punch to the gut, but ten?

“It's not your fault Doc. You know that. I don't blame you. I'm just glad you fucking texted us and got out.” Colson tried to keep his voice reassuring but he knew he was almost to his limit on stress. He didn't want to cry in front of anyone but he felt his eyes burn when he thought about his people. Because they were that, every person he saved was his. Some moved on to new lives far away but they always knew they could call him. It broke something inside him that anyone would screw with what was his.

“I should have stayed. What if they just went out for food and now they're waiting for me?” She asked but they all knew it wasn't anything so simple.

“I've got the camera feed love, don't worry. If any of them come back I'll know.” Tom soothed as he brought a tray of tea for the room and set it gently on the coffee table. He passed a cup to each of them even if they didn't want it. He knew the fear the other omegas were probably in and it made him sick. He needed to do whatever he could to help. First he served Dorothy and Doc who each asked for something stronger which the photographer happily complied with. He had a small flask of whiskey he passed around, though Dom, Colson, and Mod said no.

The girls were on one sofa while Dominic shared the other with his mate and their roommates. Collette had joined them long enough to hear the news but her and The Doctor had stepped aside and shared hushed words at one point and she'd disappeared after that. Kells had learned not to ask about his mother. “What about the feed? Does it show anything from last night?” The man asked but Mod just shook his head.

“It's been erased, and it's a damn good job. We're working to fix it but it might take time. Sorry boss.” The beta huffed. They were all pissed about the new turn of events.

“Of fucking course. I mean who the hell would do this? What do they want? What's a few mil they might make off them in exchange for me as a fucking enemy because they have to know what's gonna happen now!” Colson hadn't felt so aggressive in a long time. He hadn't realized how much his mate was helping his temper but he could feel it now. The rage inside him made his stomach turn. “This is scorched earth shit. Drawing a fucking line in the sand. No one would stand for this and I won't either. Do they think I've gone soft or something? I'll fucking-” He had to take a breath, the more upset he grew the more the baby threw a fit inside him. “Not fucking now Punk. I'm working. We don't screw with my work.” He grumbled to his stomach but it did about as much good as when someone told him to calm down.

“Col, babies don't listen. They feel what you do. Chill the fuck out before you go into early labor. Doc's orders.” The Doctor huffed and that was like a bucket of ice water on his head. He couldn't handle that on top of everything else. He would not be the reason something happened to his child.

“Babies probably listen but let's be real, this is Col’s kid.” Mod tried to lighten the mood and they all chuckled softly.

“Fairs. Don't even listen to me.” Dom sighed teasingly as he laid his head on the older man's shoulder. He wanted so badly to soothe his child but he knew he wasn't allowed in front of others. He was amazed the guy even referenced the little one or gave them a nickname of sorts.

“That's because you're the bitch. You listen to me. That's how this whole thing works.” Kells explained before a thought struck him. “Are you sure you finished the last asshole off?”

It took the Alpha a moment to process what his mate was asking because the first time it filtered through his ADHD riddled brain it sounded somehow naughty but when he did finally connect the dots he glanced around the room. Two people didn't know who he was. Could he trust them? “Yeah. Believe me luv, he weren't walking outta ‘ere or taking anover breaf. Let alone kidnapping multiple omegas.” When he let his darkness out to play and had time to savor it, he started with the ankle tendons and worked his way up. He nervously played with his hair as he watched the women in the room. They didn't seem to care what they were talking about.

“What about friends? Could he have other people out for revenge? Did you back check the bitch?” Kells wasn't trying to blame his mate but he felt wild with worry and he was terrified it was somehow all his fault.

“I vet them Colson, you know my work better than that. There was no one that cared enough to come after the boy. I think we all know who this probably is.” Tom muttered the last so low that Col barely caught it but he saw the way Mod tapped the other man's leg.

“What? Who? What the fuck are you two not saying? Because believe me, I'll take any answers right now. This won't fucking stand.” His voice broke and his lover held him tighter. He would not fucking break in front of anyone. He was still their leader, pregnant or not, he had to hold it together.

The odd couple shared a few whispered words but finally Tom rolled his eyes and sat forward to meet the other omega's gaze. “Megan. She has to be the one stealing from you. It's the only thing that makes sense. She's been stealing from you and trying to build her own empire for years. She wasn't trying to date you, she wants to replace you. I'm sorry brother but she's trying to destroy all you've built.”

Kells blinked slowly and dropped his palm to his belly protectively. All he built could fall to ruins but he wouldn't give up his mate or child. Not even ‘without a fight’, he just flat out fucking refused. After finding out she hurt him all those years ago he'd already mostly known their friendship had never truly existed but this was on another level. “Guys, she's not smart enough for this shit.” Normally he'd feel bad saying something so catty but it felt true. She was a manipulative bitch but scheming at this level?

“It's not about brains really. Yes, she'd need to hire someone tech savvy to disable the cameras but just to decide to break in somewhere she knows would hurt you most and take the people you save? It's evil but not genius level. Causing someone pain when you know them isn't that hard.” Mod explained softly and it hit Colson like a bullet to the heart. His friend wasn't wrong. Megan had been around since he was a teenager and she'd been part of his inner circle since he came up. She knew all his buttons better than most.

“Bucket?” Dom whispered when he noticed the color of his mate go from rage pink to sickly pale. It frightened him that he couldn't protect his lover from all that pain. He wanted to introduce the bint Alpha to his blades.

“No. I'm good. Not gonna barf. Might shoot someone though. We have to find them, Dom. Some of them are so fucking young. If she sells them-”

“I know. We'll find ‘em. Believe me, I know.” The pleading stare his omega gave him was breaking the boy's heart. It was so strange because he didn't used to believe he even had one but now he knew it was there. It was made up of the man in front of him and their babe and the family they were building together. “I can go looking?” He offered though the thought of leaving them alone made him ache.

“No!”

“Fuck that.”

“No point until we reverse the camera hack.” Colson, Tom, and Mod all spoke at once but at least the beta supplied a reason. The killer just hated sitting around instead of fixing the problem at hand.

“Collette! Couldn't she ask her friend? Maybe the man who Megan thinks is on her side could know something or at least find it out.” Tom offered and Kells shrugged, it was something to do at least. Something to occupy his mind for a moment instead of stressing, though the text to his mother only took a few seconds to send.

“I could kill ‘er. End of. Ain't no more problem wiv ‘er gone.” The Alpha was itching for the chance, he had been since the night he saw her lips lock on his omega's. She deserved to meet his most precious tools. Slowly.

“And then the kids are just gone? Absolutely not. It may not even be her and then you've killed someone for no reason!” The boss knew logically she was already on his lover's list but still a part of his soul begged that she not be that awful. What did that say about his judgment? Could he trust anyone?

“Don't even luv, she been on me list for a long time. I'll give yas tha’ I can't do it now cause she got collateral but she on it. Full stop.” They weren't fighting, not really, but it was hard for the boy. He needed Colson to understand how truly dark she was. He didn't need permission exactly, he'd take out who was needed but he didn't want the man looking at him differently. They'd worked through so much already.

“Mod, call Pete. Tell him to keep an eye out. Ask him if anyone has been hired off the street.” Megan would need extra grunts to pull off something so big, she'd need guards just to keep the omegas in check. He knew most people wouldn't touch the job with a ten foot pole but if she found guys who weren't working for anyone yet they might fold. A lot of people needed money. A good portion of them were already on his payroll, even if just as dealers, but there was always a chance.

“Good thinking. But boss, you know there's a chance she's saying it's for you and getting away with it. No one below our pay grade- not even Pete knows what we actually do. They wouldn't know that's your hospital. If she said this was your stolen shipment and you were just getting them back…” The beta trailed off. It was sneaky but again, not out of the realm of possibility for her to think up.

The man cursed and nodded, a lot of the fight going out of him in a long sigh. “Call him. If she said it was for me he might be so desperate he would do it for her himself. He knows he fucked up last time. Shit!” The teacup he'd been trying to sip went flying across the room to shatter against the wall. He had been doing good controlling his anger but this was too much. At least he hadn't hit anyone. Yet. He hoped the go between would check in with him first but he knew how manipulative Megan could be. There was a chance if he had helped though that Pete would know exactly where everyone was. “Give it.” He snapped when he heard the ringing start.

Dom watched as his mate took the phone from Mod and tried to stand up to pace. He gave his man a gentle push so Col wouldn't feel self conscious and got a playful knee slap in return. “Fuck off.” The omega huffed to him and he stuck his tongue out. He didn't mean to make Kells feel like he couldn't do it, he was just used to helping by now. The other started moving, walking from one side of the room to the other. It didn't take long before an answer came but it was obviously long enough for him to crack. “You fucking asshole! How bad do you want on my shit list?”

Pete was silent on the other end of the line before clearing his throat. “H-hey boss! What's up?”

“What's up? What's up? Oh I dunno. Did you help jack some omegas from a hospital last night?” He tried so hard to stay level and he probably should have asked a different way. Now he couldn't work up to his questioning and he didn't know how to progress if the fucker-

“For you! She said it was for you. Why aren't you happy dude? We got them back!” The other man's voice was tiny on the phone but obviously terrified. Good.

“Oh, it was for me? Was I fucking there? Did I ask you? If you did it for me, why don't I have them?” He tried not to shout, every time he did the baby kicked something else he really needed. “You're all idiots.”

“She said it was a gift boss! Maybe it's a surprise and she's selling them to give you the cash?” Colson clenched his fists so hard he thought he heard something in the phone crack and he vowed mentally to get his friend a new one. He had to be honest, if this conversation kept up how it was he knew it was going across the room with the teacup.

“I don't want that. Listen to me dumbass, I did not ask for this. You and your boys better find them ALL before tomorrow or I'm coming down there.” There, that was calm enough. “I should rip your dick off and feed it to you if you think with it so god damn hard.” Oops. He couldn't say it wasn't for him, he couldn't give away that he lost control of his people, but he knew it was already implied and it scared him. He didn't know how to keep control of everyone and it put him on edge.

“Y-yes Sir. Soon as I can. I mean she had us hand them off to other guys but I'll try-”

“Find them or I'll let my pet psycho off his leash and he'll turn all you bitches into a new batch of omegas.” He didn't mean it of course, it wasn't like they'd be omegas worth saving or selling for that matter. But if Dom wanted revenge…

“What's that even supposed to mean?” Pete asked.

“Believe me, you don't want to find out. Tick fucking tock. Keep me updated.” He hung up by smashing the phone into the wall before walking over to his safe calmly and opening it, taking out a small box, and walking over to hand his best friend a new phone.

“Thanks. You did good Cols. I think you should go rest while you can. No offense but you look like shit.” Mod explained softly and Col nodded. He couldn't even talk anymore he just passed by his lover and grabbed him by the hand to pull him along. He didn't stop until they reached their room and he gently pushed his Alpha to sit. He didn't know whether to crawl into his lap and cry, sleep, or fuck.

“Do you fink he'll be okay?” Dom asked softly. He'd been trying so hard to be a rock for his partner but that small worry slipped out. There had been something special about the boy he saved and he didn't want to see him lost. Not after all he'd already been through.

Kells hurt in his heart as he took a seat next to Dom. He laid down and curled in the boy's lap, soothed when fingers teased through his hair. He craved the other's touch over everything. “I don't know. I'm worried too. If the men they got to were buyers I don't know how we get them back but we will. This is my job baby, trust me.” It didn't even bother him that Dom had taken a liking to the young kid. He was normally selfish with his lover but he could tell it was more of a big brother situation and he'd honestly grown to like the other omega too. “We should have brought him here.” He didn't mean to say it aloud but it just fell from his mouth. He was too overwhelmed for a filter.

“Wouldn't ask ya tha’. We can find a safe place for ‘em. I trust ya Cols, swear. I know you'll save ‘em all. But you do need rest.” Dom soothed back. He couldn't ask for them to take the boy in, it'd be mental. He didn't even know the kid's name yet because he'd been mute since being rescued from his home. They'd get them all back and find a new safe space and he'd take care of Megan before their child was born. Everything would be okay because it had to be. The world owed them both after the way they grew up. “You jus’ rest. I'll watch over yas.” He hummed, one hand petting through his mate's hair and the other over his belly.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

Sorry for the plot dump but we're heading to the end. Don't worry, there's already plans for a part two. I like these boys too much. There should be a little more smut mixed in but it's story time. I hope you're enjoying it! 💣🖤

[zalia]

Stop telling people we're dead...

I wasn't gonna say anything but I keep seeing it in fan spaces for various pieces of media after there's layoffs and it's driving me nuts. I may regret this since social media is where nuance and reading comprehension go to die but....

It's this sentiment people express that boils down to 'Well X person is gone so it's all terrible now/nothing good can be made again'.

The game industry especially fucking sucks right now for people who work in it (unless you're an executive for a big company :) ). It sucks for everyone laid off absolutely! I'm fucking angry and gutted on their behalf. The whole industry needs a massive overhaul. And unionisation. And for executives to be held accountable. This shit has destroyed lives.

It also sucks for everyone who is left behind after layoffs.

You know what makes it suck even worse? Seeing fans and the community of the thing you work on (and it's often something that you, the person working on it, care deeply about too) say that basically nothing you do matters. None of the hard work you put in over the past months or years counts or is any good, and nothing you make again can be any good. Often it comes with the addendum of 'this is because X person is gone'.

And X person is usually just the most publically visible person (and it is not in any way their fault! I'm so fucking angry on behalf of those people too! None of this is their fault). But dear god it fucking hurts to see people acting like everything you've done is worthless.

Trust me, the people left behind are just as, probably more, angry and upset than you. They've lost good coworkers, good teams, often good friends, and are having to pick up everything while worrying for their future job security. All while executives take home fat paycheques and often bonuses because they don't give a fuck as long as line goes up. Like, be angry, be pissed off at the executives and shareholders and fucking Bobby Kotick or whoever because they're garbage. But can we stop talking as though the people staying behind have never and will never again make anything that is good or enjoyable? That they never actually contributed anything to that thing you love?

Most games are not made by a single person. Most of them are a team effort, and losing any part of the team is awful. But it also means that everything you like and that is good about a game was a team effort. And a lot of the people who made the thing you like are still working hard to make the thing the best they can while they're angry and grieving and scared.

Acting like nothing they have done or will do matters or was part of the creativity that you loved just makes that harder. It fucking hurts.

Any script will usually have had multiple people working on it - writers yes, but also editors giving multiple rounds of feedback, people who make the script usable for recording. Someone who books the actors is not any less important than the actors themselves, or the sound editors. A soundtrack needs composers and musicians and sound engineers and they all contribute to the creative product.

I don't think anyone saying this is doing it maliciously, or really even believes it – it's a reaction to shitty circumstances and absolute garbage decisions by people who will always have too much money while doing very little, if any, creative work. It's people voicing their frustration, and I get it! I have said the same thing even when it was me, one of the people left behind, I was disparaging.

But god, every time I see it said my heart sinks, and it gets a bit harder to feel like anything I do is worthwhile.

And because social media is where nuance goes to die - no I'm not saying you have to keep loving/playing the thing! If it killed it for you, if it isn't giving you that spark of joy anymore, then stop! I encourage that! (There's a lot of people I can think of who could really stand to step away from things instead of playing until they burn out and can't distinguish between 'this is not bringing me joy anymore' and 'this is irredeemably bad'). But just... stop talking as if, for a piece of media made by a team, only certain members of that team actually count, and the rest are creatively bankrupt, were not part of the thing you loved, and are incapable of making anything good ever again.

[moe-broey]

AUGH Pokemon Scar/Vio DLC spoilers below bc I'm NOT gonna have anyone to talk about this with for a little while LMFAOOO

God I wish when Kieran ran off with the mask, challenged you to a battle to get it back, and lost that battle. I DESPERATELY WISH he just ran off with the mask again anyway. LIKE. For one could you imagine how fucking funny that would have been LMFAO but also!!!!! I think something like that happening would have absolutely raised the stakes, AND would have given you a reason to be mad at him. I think, what Kieran needed MOST as a character and the development they're taking with him, is for him to have moments where he doubles down and is stubborn and bratty.

LIKE. This is going to get SO incoherent LMFAO but I'm thinking about Hortensia Fire Emblem's whole character arc, where you meet her and she's bratty right off the bat. But the thing that GETS me about her is that she doubles down. She's stubborn. And you see Why, you see her scared and hurt and traumatized as she's trying to figure out what to do next. And what REALLY makes her character to me, is when not even Ivy being on your side is enough for her to join you. She still needs time. And by "time", I mean needs to keep digging her grave deeper because she just can't stop yet. LIKE. She's acting out. Which isn't me invalidating anything, like, I'm struggling to find the words for it but she's just 14 about it you know. Something SO horrible has happened and you feel SO MUCH about it that not even your older sister can talk sense into you, at least not right now.

I THINK. The connection I want to make here is that I think Kieran has SO MUCH POTENTIAL as a blooming antagonistic character, he just NEEDED a moment like Hortensia has with Ivy. Where she doubles down on her path. And I think Kieran, maybe initially planning on keeping his word... when you defeat him, and everything just wells up inside and overtakes him. I think THAT would have been a fantastic and shocking moment, if you could see him make that decision to Make Things Worse in real time. And I can only IMAGINE the reaction that would have gotten out of Carmine too!!!

AND. CARMINE. CARMINE. I FIND HER SO FASCINATING. LIKE. Yeah yeah overheard a conversation/misunderstanding tropes are cliche and can be super annoying as a storytelling device. AUGH BUT I FEEL LIKE IT COULD ACTUALLY WORK FOR THEM..... with how both of them Are. I think Carmine and Kieran have SUCH incompatible personalities and there is SO much to explore there. Like. It's established as soon as you meet them, that they must be close and care for each other. You see it in how Carmine looks after Kieran, speaking up for him when he's struggling to, and you see how Kieran admires and looks up to her as he cheers her on in battle. But you ALSO see that Carmine has the emotional intelligence of a brick and she is naturally just. Abrasive and temperamental, with an ego. ALL. HORRIBLE TRAITS TO HAVE IN ONE REALLY HAHAH (I love her though). And you see that Kieran is EXTREMELY sensitive, shy and mopey.

BUT ALSO. WHAT GETS ME ABOUT KIERAN ACTUALLY. Is how you See those traits evolve and twist into more detrimental versions of themselves. AND you start seeing some Similarities he has with Carmine. He also is temperamental. He also has an ego. THIS. WAS SO COOL TO SEE TBH!!! Espppp seeing the uglier aspects of being "shy" and "sensitive". Traits that are really easy to make endearing and to woobify. It's easy to look over just how destructive these traits can get, when you take things too personally and then shut yourself off completely. AND. THE EGO. ADDED ONTO THIS. The fact that he IS a sore loser, the fact that he DOES get bratty about it. Like, I think another thing I really appreciate about Kieran is he acts his age. He quickly starts to feel like the entire world is against him AND he's 14 about it.

In turn, I think I really appreciate how Carmine is so much just an older sister. Like. Yeah, she has a temper and an ego. But also, I think you see that she's a pretty good sport actually. She's competitive, but she's not actually holding anything against you (beyond like, her frustrations about her home town feeling like a tourist spot -- which like! I think is reasonable actually, to dislike that). Like. She's abrasive, she's prideful, but ultimately she does have an air of maturity. She is Not 14 about it. On account of not being 14, unlike her little brother LMFAOOO (ALSO!!! I think it's clear how much she Does care too, how she does end up looking out for you, how she congratulates you and hypes you up... like!!! She's just a little bit of a jackass LMFAO but I love her for it)

And like ultimately maybe all this is just set up for a slow burn, as Kieran goes sicko mode LMFAO but I REALLY wish. There was at least ONE moment where he did something that's just a dick move. And REALLY digs his heels in. Makes it clear, compromise is NOT an option for him, not right now. That, for a while, no one is going to be able to reach him, not even his sister. He just needs to get it out of his system.

Plus, I think it would be incredibly useful for the player to have a reason to be mad at him, because GOD. I HATE. MORE THAN ANYTHING. When Pokemon gives you rivals you just feel bad for!!!!!! Like I just pity him!!!! I think he's right to feel the way he does and I think he has every right to act out. And like, I think I'd Still feel that way actually, if he did actively make bad choices that just makes everything worse and Isn't particularly palatable about it LMFAO. BUT. At VERY least, if he pulled a dick move, I can have something justifiable to want to fight him over. Lowkey Takumi feelings actually, where one of my favorite things about him is When he's an asshole, and it IS entirely on him, like... it's vindicating to see other characters push back. I, as the player, want the characters to get his ass for it. And it's rewarding, when he does come around (either immediately or after some time), and tries to make up for it. Like.... give me a reason to WANT to get Kieran's ass. Piss EVERYONE off in the process, ESPECIALLY your sister for the angst and drama of it all!! I just feel like I stomped on a little autistic boy's dream and stole away the object of his special interest HSKAHKSHA dude THIS SUCKS 😭😭😭😭😭

AUGH!!!!!!!!!! Anyway misc thoughts

The townspeople's turnaround about the ogre off screen was SO STUPID LMFAOOO LIKE. Like yeah yeah Pokemon game......... but you know what else was a Pokemon game. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Sky. LIKE AGSJHSJSJSJJ I FEEL LIKE SUUUUCH A CRAZY RAMBLY OLD MAN but Pokemon Scarlet/Violet HAD THE POTENTIAL. TO BE ON THAT LEVEL. I THINK. PERSONALLY. ON A STORYTELLING FRONT. And AGAIN I feel like there could have been potential here.

Like I think the main issue is the story even in the canon itself took place in too short of a time to develop in the way I think it deserved. But I'm thinking about the whole Process in PMD2 of returning from the Future, you, your partner, and Grovyle. How the three of you Can't just go back to the guild, especially Grovyle in tow, a wanted outlaw in this time period. How it takes days, of laying low, planning carefully, gathering intel, and hitting a wall, before finally deciding you really have no where else to turn BUT Wiggletuff's Guild. AND. AND. THE WHOLE PROCESS. THAT WHOLE THING CHATOT PUTS YOU THROUGH. AFTER TELLING YOUR STORY. Where Every Single Guild Member Individually has to decide, no, Chatot, I'm with Hero and Partner actually. Up against The Great Dusknoir's reputation, Grovyle's reputation, and your standing as the most recent additions to the guild versus Chatot's standing, Wiggletuff's right hand man, second in command, a respected authority figure.

LIKE........ I just think. With the folklore surrounding Ogrepon and the Loyal Three. Even if they didn't have That Much Time to build up to it exactly like that (speaking canonically, school trip constraints), I think. Even just a scene where You're part of trying to tell the town the truth about Ogrepon and the Loyal Three, AND you see the inital pushback, especially from an authority figure (maybe the Caretaker?) would have been enough. Especially would have been nice to see, instead of every NPC talking about how they got things wrong -- if there was divide and conflict, some believing you and feeling regretful towards how Ogrepon was treated, and others not believing you at all, ESPECIALLY as an outsider, who are you to tell us our history? AND even a few NPCs who are on your side, but are still in a state of disbelief or feeling betrayed. Like. Make us feel the weight of Why Carmine and Kieran's family kept this a secret for generations. (ALSO LITERALLY DIDN'T THEIR ANCESTOR TRY TO TELL THE TRUTH AND WAS HARSHLY DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED???? Why would Kieran be treated differently now for doing the same thing???????)

I guess last thoughts about Carmine and Kieran I didn't get to earlier but. I think you can See, as the story plays out, where there is this building frustration that turns to resentment from Kieran, towards how Carmine treats him. How, while she does speak up for him, she also speaks over him. What she sees as probably tough love or standard older-sibling teasing, HE takes it just. So personally. And it festers. It seems he feels ignored, dismissed and invalidated -- and his dialogues where he is mopey, and Carmine (almost on the right track), calls it for what it is -- her baby brother just being a baby. Like, I say "Almost on the right track", because in a way she Is Right. He's Very Loudly sulking and pouting, she sees this and sees he's being 14 about it. But she fails to consider just how much Kieran internalizes this treatment, of being teased and having others around you be told "He'll get over it". WHICH... even if he does. Even if he will. Something that JUMPS out to me IS how loudly he's moping and sulking, how dramatic it is. To me, it's like a cry for attention, for someone to listen to him and take his feelings seriously.

THIS. IS WHAT I MEANT BEFORE. When I talked about how the misunderstanding trope actually lends itself SO well to these two characters, as siblings who do love each other, but there IS this emotional distance. Where Carmine looks over Kieran's feelings, and doesn't know what to do with them, and Kieran is going to internalize all of this until he implodes. And when he DOES implode, when it feels like his entire world is crashing and burning around him (in a way, it IS his whole world!)... he doesn't trust her at all. Whether Carmine meant to or not (which, I don't think she has ever meant to hurt him, I do think it's the incompatibility), Kieran has been made to feel like he's an outcast, like his feelings don't matter, and no matter what he does, no one is going to listen to him or care about him. WHICH IS. AGAIN. WHY. I THINK HE NEEDS TO FUCK SHIT UP MORE. That is the GO TO thing to do when you're a kid and you feel this way LMFAOOO

Aughghhh........ Pokemon Scarlet and Violet you have so much potential I just wish you'd FOLLOW THROUGH and PUT YOUR WHOLE PUSSY INTO IT (AND MAYBE THEY WILL. IN THE FUTURE. THIS IS THE FIRST DLC. HOWEVER. I do think there are certain areas in general, like the ogre ordeal, where they just dropped the ball 😔)