#and I'm one of the most senior people who's not out on a fire

[nobodybetterlookatme]

I've been working more events lately and I keep getting paired with one specific medic and some of my other coworkers told me that it's bc he's an asshole and everyone else hates working with him and apparently all his attempts at being a jerk to me have flown right over my head and I've therefore had no complaints so that's why my supervisor keeps partnering us up 😂😭

[mountainsandmayhem]

BDSMaid - Chapter 2

Masterlist || AO3

Pairing: Millionaire Joel Miller x Female Reader Series Summary: After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.  Chapter Summary: Try as he might, Joel just can’t shake the memory of you. Try as you might, you can’t stop thinking of the woman tied to his desk. CW: The slow burn is burning. Mentions of death and underage drinking. Topless in public, this is a love story about BDSM after all. Reader does have some physical descriptions, so maybe more of an OFC, or just pretend you have pouty lips and a slightly upturned nose. Double POV (reader and Joel). AN: Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for all the love on chapter one of this story. I literally cannot believe it surpasses 1000 notes in just a month, you're all insane and I love you. Dividers by @saradika-graphics. Biiiig shout outs to the bb's who have been so supportive of me spiralling and panicking this last month over the next chapter. I'd be in a deep dark cave without you @mermaidgirl30 @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @evolnoomym @joelmillerisapunk and @milla-frenchy . Thank you! I feel like I'm giving some sort of Oscars speech and if you're still reading this, you're the real MVP. XO Word Count: 8.5k

~ Joel - 27 Years Ago ~

Joel’s stands in the garage of someone he barely knows, surrounded by drunk and rowdy classmates from his high school. He’s a senior, graduating in just a few weeks and moments like this are one of the perks of being the star designated hitter and first baseman, everyone wants you at their party. Someone hands him a warm, flat beer that was pumped poorly from a keg as they pat his back roughly in congratulations. Joel’s not sure how a bunch of seventeen year olds managed to get a keg, most likely an older brother, but he drinks the shitty beer all the same. Speaking of brothers, he hasn’t seen Tommy in a while. He’s only fifteen and he promised their mom he’d keep an eye on him. The younger Miller shouldn’t be at a seniors party, but that's where those perks come in again, because if Joel was good, Tommy was better. In fact, he was so much better that he’s played up a whole age group his entire life, always right beside Joel. Tommy was the back catcher, and tonight he got the eleventh inning game winning out at home for them to win the state championship. 

He finds Tommy chatting with a group of girls, all of whom are incredibly beautiful. They’re going to be very disappointed when they find out how much younger he is than them. Joel smiles into his red solo cup as he takes a sip of stale beer. He tucks his free hand into the pocket of his light blue wranglers and walks over to the wall of the garage. He leans back and crosses one cowboy booted foot over the other. The brim of his cowboy hat grazes the unpainted drywall behind him. Texas, and the country, in the late nineties was where everyone wanted to be, and Joel Miller could have been the poster boys for teenage country boys in 1997.

Brooks & Dunn plays on someone's CD player in the corner, laughter and people talking overlaps until it’s just noise to Joel. He stands back, watching his younger brother effortlessly charm the five pretty girls around him. All of them in tight blue jeans, lacy white tops, denim vests and cowboy boots. He grabs one by the hand and Joel overhears, “I’ll teach ya how to two step, shame to not know in a place like this.” Then the motherfucker winks at her like he’s some sort of cowboy Casanova. Joel lets out a silent laugh through his nose and sips the beer again shaking his head. 

Just as Tommy pulls the pretty little blonde over towards the unmarked and unofficial dance floor in the corner of the garage the song changes. Slow guitar, followed by the unmistakable twang of Tim Magraw’s voice. Joel didn’t know it then, but that song would change the course of his life and intertwine itself in the very fabric of his being.

‘Dancin’ in the dark, Middle of the night’

That’s when he sees her, tall and slender, deep olive toned skin and pale green eyes. Her dark curly hair cascades over one of her shoulders. She’s laughing with another classmate, and even though he can’t hear the sound of it over the noise of the party, he can tell it’s a light and melodic sound, and he wants to spend the rest of his life drawing that out of her. 

‘Takin’ your heart, An holdin’ it tight’

He puts his warm beer on the work bench beside him and takes off his black felt Stetson, placing it over his broad chest, hoping the comfort of his favourite hat would slow the rate at which his heart is beating. 

‘Emotional touch, Touchin’ my skin, And askin’ you to do, What you’ve been doin’ all over again’

She looks over at him, smiling shyly, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s walking over to her. His legs move on their own accord, knees shaking as he approaches the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

‘Oh, it’s a beautiful thing, Don’t think I can keep it all in, I just gotta let you know, What is that won’t let me go’

Everything in the room fades as she fully comes into view. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe the girl in front of him. She radiates a warmth that he’s only ever known his mother to radiate. It’s the first time he’s ever seen this girl, but she feels like home. This is it, that one thing that everyone says you’re supposed to feel. The thing his grandpa told him when he was younger, “Son, you’ll just know. It sounds ridiculous, but when I saw your grandma it was like a pull behind my belly button. I just knew, and I’ve known everyday since then.”

“Howdy, ma’am,” Joel says, tipping his hat to her before placing it back on his head. 

She giggles, confirming his earlier thoughts. It really is the sweetest fucking sound he’s ever heard. “Hi.”

He holds out a hand to her and she takes it, her skin is so warm and smooth. In that moment he knows that hers will be the last hand he ever holds. Fire flushes through his veins as he continues, “I’m Joel, what’s your name?”

“Oh, I know who you are Joel Miller,” she flirts, not letting go of his hand. “I’m Tiffany.”

“Tiffany,” he repeats, his voice going deeper as he says it. It’s egotistical but he loves the way girls shiver just a little when he lowers his register. “And how is it that you know who I am?”

She slides her hand from his and reaches up to grab his cowboy hat, plopping it onto her head. “Star first baseman and designated hitter, everyone knows Joel Miller. Look around, look at all these girls lookin’ at you, cowboy.”

For the first time in his life Joel finds himself blushing, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Tiffany. 

“I only see one girl.” She rolls her eyes and swats at his bicep at the cheesy line, but that was it for both of them. From that point they were inseparable. 

They both turned eighteen a few months later, and just ten months, and a thirty two hour labour after Tiff turned eighteen, a tiny little Sarah came into the world all pink and screaming. Joel hears that song again as he watches Tiffany hold that little bundle of blankets, ‘Better than I was, More than I am, And all of this happened, By taking your hand.’

They get married when Sarah is just a few months old. Both his beautiful curly haired girls in white dresses, Tiffany grabbing that same black Stetson off his head during their first dance. He holds them both, swaying from side to side, a hot tear rolling down his cheek at how goddamn happy he is. ‘And who I am now, Is who I wanted to be, And now that we’re together, I’m stronger than ever, I’m happy and free’.

Things for their little family of three are perfect. They buy the house with the white picket fence and the wrap around porch. Joel gets a job working construction and enjoys a nightcap with his beautiful young wife on their front porch every night. They make love often, slow and sweaty, Joel worshiping her soft copper toned skin inch by glorious inch. Tiffany wraps every minute of her day around Sarah and being a sweet, devoted housewife. Nothing seems to stand in their way. Until the diagnosis shortly before Sarah starts Kindergarten. 

Tiffany is too young, they’re all too young. This isn’t something that happens to people their age, they haven’t had enough time. Joel spends the next few months in a haze, it has to be a bad dream. The appointments, the treatments, the call to 911 when the illness starts to win. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. 

He holds Tiffany until the very end. Sponging a soft kiss to her forehead, whispering his goodbyes as they shut off the machines keeping her here. “You’ve been so strong, my love. You fought so hard. I know you’re scared to go, I’m scared too, but we’ll do it like we do everything else. Together. I’ll be ok, Sarah will be ok. Just rest now. I love you.” 

As she takes her last shaky and shallow breath, a sound will live with him until he takes a breath that matches hers, that song echoes through his hollow chest. ‘It’s your love, It does something to me, It sends a shock right through me, I can’t get enough’.

You - Present Day

You roll to a stop outside Mister Miller’s house for your second day of cleaning. As you look towards the impressive house your pussy flutters at the memories of yesterday - the almost pornographic noises that were made in that office, his soft and kind eyes as he apologized profusely in the kitchen. You were supposed to go to a study group last night, but instead you got lost in a rabbit hole of porn where women are tied up and fingered. You got yourself off four times thinking about a man you’re not even supposed to know, wishing it was his thick fingers hitting that spot inside of you that you can’t reach on your own. You felt guilty about it last night and now being back in his home you have that same sinking feeling again. 

Stupid. Sacrificing my future for a fantasy. Never again. 

You let yourself in the house and look at the list in your cleaning app. You pop in your AirPods and start listening to your favourite true crime podcast; thankful for the new episode, a gruesome distraction as you scrub baseboards and lightswitches. The episode ends and in an attempt to not let your mind wander to the gorgeous man that lives here, and the depraved new things you’ve discovered about yourself, you start an educational audiobook about civil rights law. You might want Joel Miller to strap you down and whisper filth in your ears, but you are a good person, and your aspiration in life is to help people who face discrimination on a daily basis. 

You breeze around his home, checking off each task and before you know it it’s almost one in the afternoon. You have almost your whole list complete, his soft sheets are in the dryer (and yes, you are incredibly proud of yourself for only putting the luxurious white fabric to your face twice on the way to the washer). You only have the patio furniture to spray down and the kitchen counters to wipe. That’s when your stomach growls, almost as if to remind you that it’s the perfect time to take a break while the dryer finishes. You haul all your stuff out to your car and lock up, sitting in your front seat as you take out your lunch container.

An engine revs in the distance and your heart skips in your chest. Before you even have time to wonder if it’s Joel’s car, one of the black garage doors slides open and Joel’s obsidian coloured Aston Martin rolls by you, stopping with precision on the shiny cement floor of the garage. You avert your eyes, focused on your container of chicken noodle soup. The left side of your face feels the warmth of his gaze fixed on you. Without looking over you can tell he is studying you and it takes everything you have to keep your eyes on your measly lunch. 

The afternoon sun is blocked as Joel raps his knuckles on your window. You glance over at him, looking up through your lashes. He’s looking at you intensely but you can’t quite place his expression. As always, his deep brown eyes are locked on yours, he could either be happy to see you or incredibly disappointed in you. But one thing is for sure, he’s calculating your every need with those warm and inviting eyes. He knocks again so you crank the handle to roll your window down a crack.

He raises one eyebrow at you, both hands rest on the roof of your SUV as he leans forward to speak to you through the small opening in the window. “Seriously?” His voice is laced with sarcasm. 

“What?” You say, “Can’t be too safe.”

He blinks at you before continuing, “What'd ya doin’ out here?”

You lift your tupperware container a little, willing the tingles between your thighs to stop, “Eating my lunch.”

He rolls his eyes, running his hand along his greying scruff. “You’re eatin’ lukewarm soup in your car in the middle of February.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement, but his voice is warm and curious, and you start to realize that the look on his face isn’t happiness or disappointment, but concern. 

You nod, “Yes.” His eyes dance around your face and you swear your heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. Fluttering so fast that it’s traveling up your throat and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. 

“Get out of the car. Come warm that up and eat inside.” His voice is thick with concern, entire face soft as he looks at you. 

You swallow your heart back down to where it belongs, “I’m not allowed to do that, Mister Miller.”

His cheeks redden a little and some of the softness in him disappears, “Don’t call me that, it’s jus’ Joel to you.”

“I’m not even supposed to know your name, Mister Miller. I can’t call you by your first name.”

He shifts his weight onto one foot and points a thick finger at you through your window, “Don’t. Either you call me Joel or nothin’ at all. Come inside,” he drops his pointer finger to the door handle. He pulls on it to find it locked. “Seriously?”

“I told you, I can’t be too safe!” You can help but think how cute he looks all flustered - shaking his head at you for being cautious in a neighborhood where you could probably scream your credit card number and no one would use it. If anything, the wealthy homeowners on this street might transfer you money when they see the state of your vehicle. 

“You’re eatin’ inside.” He says flatly. 

“I told you, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to do that. You’re a client, Mist - I mean. Sorry, I just can’t. We aren’t allowed.” You glance towards the clock on your dash. At this rate your break is going to be over before you finish eating. 

He jiggles the door handle again, as if he can convince the metal to bend and unlatch itself with just his sexiness alone. “You like rules, don’t ya?”

He’s got you there, you do enjoy following the rules. You nod and hum a noise in agreement. 

“Unlock the door, please,” his voice has changed, he’s being more commanding now. A deeper, huskier sound leaving his lips. The sound seems to latch onto something deep in your mind, strong fingers wrapping around the control center of your brain, guiding you to do his bidding. You blink the feeling away. 

“Mister-,” his eyes flash with darkness, “Sorry. I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to eat in your house, plus my break is almost over.”

Joel releases your door handle, raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and lets out a breath, as he drops his hand back to the top of your vehicle an amused smirk flashes across his face. “Do you consider yourself to work in customer service?”

“Yes,” you say nervously.

“And isn’t the main rule of customer service that the customer is always right?” His lips form a tight line and a deep dimple carves into one of his tanned cheeks. Your brain flashes back to one of the videos you watched last night, a man sucking on a woman's nipples as he rubbed her clit, her arms and legs strapped to a padded table. He had a dimple, but he had nothing on Joel. 

“Yes,” you croak and then clear your throat gently, shifting in your seat at the fire building behind that bundle of nerves between your thighs. 

“Then unlock the door, darlin’ and eat inside.” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, turning and walking towards the house. He stops on the front step, opening the large glass front door. You follow, flip flops slapping on the concrete, carrying your powdered chicken noodle soup and plastic spoon up towards his fancy home. When you reach the threshold, he holds out his large hand palm up and you place the old, stained tupperware with your half eaten soup into it. He looks down at it and then back at you, eyes trailing along your body and it feels like he’s running a torch over you. “Is this all you have to eat?”

You nod, giving him a tight lipped smile. 

He cocks his head towards the kitchen and one pushed back curl that’s laced with a few greys falls into his eyes with the movement. In order to stop from pushing his loose curl back you squeeze your fists gently and head towards the stool you sat on yesterday. As your flip flop hits the tile you stop and look back towards your car nervously. “I, umm, I forgot my shoes.”

His large, warm palm comes to your lower back and he pushes you gently towards the kitchen. You sit as he transfers your soup into a matte black bowl and places it in the microwave. He opens a cupboard and pulls out a loaf of fresh bread, as you go to protest he flicks his eyes up to yours and something about the expression on his face tells you not to argue with him. He pops the two carefully cut pieces into the toaster. He breezes effortlessly around the kitchen for someone so broad and masculine. You didn’t realize someone making toast could be so sexy. The microwave beeps and he grabs a gold spoon from a drawer before wandering around the island, placing them both in front of you. His arm brushes yours as he pulls away and your heart flutters at his touch. He walks back around the kitchen island and grabs a glass. 

“Still or sparkling?” He says as if that’s just a normal question to ask when you get someone a glass of water. Just another thing that proves you don’t belong here. The toaster pops and you jump a little. He chuckles as he grabs the toast, slathering it with butter. “Still or sparkling, darlin’?” 

You breath hitches, he’s called you darlin’ twice now. Is that just that southern charm you hear about so often, or is it more? You shake the thought from your head, there’s no way someone like him is interested in someone like you. “Still is fine, you don’t have to trouble yourself.” 

You take a spoonful of soup, blowing on it gently before putting the spoon in your mouth. Joel is watching you in the same way he was yesterday. Assessing. Observing. Calculating. It feels like he’s looking into your very soul. He slides the plate of toast and then a glass of sparkling water over to you from across the island.

“Thank you,” you say quietly. “You didn’t -”

He holds his hand up, stopping you in the same way he did yesterday. “I wanted to.”

You feel your cheeks redden and you have to look away as you take a bite of toast. He’s too handsome standing in the kitchen with the afternoon sun highlighting his features. He’s wearing a black dress shirt today, the top few buttons undone, accentuating the perfectly groomed salt and pepper hair on his chest. You swallow your bite of warm, salty, buttery toast, allowing your eyes to flutter closed at the delectable flavour, holding back a moan. 

Joel clears his throat and crosses his arms across his broad chest, “So how did ya get into cleanin’ houses?”

You look up at him through your lashes. Why is he being so nice to you and taking care of you? He apologized yesterday. And after you told him it was fine he left you a massive tip. He said he wants to do this, but why? He’s rich and handsome and you can probably safely assume that that icy blonde from yesterday was his girlfriend. Unless…could she possibly be a mistress? You decide that that must be it. She’s his mistress. He has a wife. He’s just like every other rich man, cheating on his beautiful and age appropriate wife with someone much much younger than him. He’s probably terrified that you might find out who his wife is and tell her. That tip was hush money.

“I’m saving money,” you say and then shake your head, willing the thoughts in your mind to calm down. “For law school.”

“That right?” He says, raising an eyebrow at you as you take another spoonful of soup.

“Yes, I want to be a lawyer. I graduated a semester early and needed some money before going back to university. Assuming I even get accepted. This job meant I could work part time so I could study to take the LSAT again and also make good money.” You take another bite of the toast, mainly to make yourself shut up. 

He watches you the entire time, nodding along, his eyes constantly assessing. “Take the LSAT again?” he asks.

“I passed it already and applied to schools but I haven’t heard back yet. Law school is pretty competitive, so I’m going to take it again and hopefully have a better mark for the next round of college applications.” You’re talking too much, you need to shut up and just eat, but Joel doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look away. No one has ever listened to you like that, not even your parents.

“Next round?” He asks curiously. 

You feel your cheeks redden. You don’t want to admit to this obviously successful man in front of you that you probably won’t get accepted to any of the eight universities you applied to. “Yes. It’s competitive, and I probably won’t get in. So I’m preparing to be better the second time.”

“Where did you apply? If that’s not too forward of a question.”

“No, not too forward. Umm, a few places. Strength in numbers, I guess. Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Berkeley, Duke, University of Toronto, but I don’t think I’d survive a Canadian winter. I also applied at Notre Dame and University of Texas here in Austin.”

Joel laughs at you mentioning the Canadian winter and once you’re quiet, he looks down at his expensive dress shoes, “I, umm, I know some higher ups at UT Austin if you need me to put in a good word.”

You smile at him when he looks back up at you, “I don’t think that’s quite how it works, Joel. But thank you.”

The two of you are silent for a moment while you finish your first piece of toast. You glance up at him and he’s looking at you with that same hint of pride he had yesterday while you drank your water. He’s making you feel like eating toast is something to be proud of. You can’t explain it but his facial expression wraps around like a corset. Pulling its metaphoric laces and making you sit up taller, holding your head up higher. With just the shimmer in his deep brown eyes you feel like you could take on the world. You need to break the silence so you say, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he says, leaning back to rest on the countertop behind him. His arms uncross, his strong hands wrapping around the countertop on each side of his body. 

“What do you do for a living? To have all this?” You gesture around the house as you sip your sparkling water.

“A few things. I used to own a construction company, sold it a few years ago to retire but I got bored pretty quickly. Now I own a few properties, I rent them out.” You nod as you listen to him, eating your lunch. One hand rubs at his patchy, salt and pepper beard nervously before saying, “I also own a club.”

You let out a little giggle into your water glass, immediately praying that he doesn’t think that was you being rude. Of all the professions that could have come out of his mouth, owning a nightclub was the last thing you expected. Joel smiles at the sweet melodic sound leaving your lips and relief washes over you. “Why’s that so funny?” His voice is light at his inquiry. 

“It’s not,” you say after swallowing your water. He furrows his brows at you. “You just - I mean, I guess I don’t know you, but don’t seem like the nightclub type.”

“You’re right, you don’t know me. But you’re also right that I am not a nightclub type,” he states. Something about the way he says it makes you sense that that’s as far as you’re going to get with it, but you also realize that the club is probably how this man meets young women to bring home.

You put your spoon down and place your hands in your lap. “Can I umm, ask you something else?”

“Of course,” he repeats. 

“What’s with that little dinosaur toy on your coffee maker?”

He smiles and reaches over to grab it, rubbing his thumb along the faded and scuffed brown paint of the little toy. He looks down at it and a hint of sadness seems to fill his coffee and amber eyes as he looks at you. “My daughter, she umm, she got it for me from the prize box in Kindergarten after her mom -” he stops mid sentence, sadness lining his features. Joel’s not married, you roll your eyes at yourself internally for thinking the worst of him. And truthfully, you of all people know he’s not married. You clean his house, you’ve been in his bedroom, and there are no women's clothes. You’ve also been in all the spare bedrooms and there’s no chance another person lives here with him. He continues, choosing his words almost carefully, “Well, just after she was gone.”

“I’m sorry, Mister,” his eyes flash onyx for just a second, he looks lethally sexy and you swallow your words before starting again. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

“It was a long time ago,” he says, placing the dinosaur back. He runs his fingers through his salt and pepper curls, letting out a little sigh. There’s a shift in him, like suddenly the world is heavier. He tries not to let it show, and maybe most people wouldn’t notice, but you see it. The slight fall in his face, a little slump in the shoulders, a breath held for just a second too long. He clears his throat gently and says, “I’ll be in my office. Eat your lunch for me, please.”

Joel

Joel closes the door of his office and rests his forehead against the smooth wooden surface. He can’t remember how much he spent on these doors when he built the house, but he would set any door that separated him from you on fire if he had to. 

Get it together, Joel.

He closes his eyes and only sees you. The way your glossy, pink lips formed a little O as you blew on your soup. The way the gold plated metal spoon slid softly along your tongue. His cock twitches in his pants and he feels the urge to throw all the spoons in his house away. 

Great, you’re jealous of a spoon. 

He shouldn’t be home. He signed a contract, and more importantly, you signed a contract. In order to protect him and you there is to be no contact between the cleaner and the client. That’s what you consented to when you took your job at Maid Discreetly, and now he’s caused you to break that contract not once, but twice. But he cannot seem to get you out of his mind, and as he sat in a meeting at his club he couldn’t focus. You were here, cleaning his home in that form fitting white polo shirt and those black pants that hugged at your hips in all the right places, and he just had to know if you were as beautiful as he remembered. Just a quick peek, he convinced himself as he made up some bullshit excuse to leave. 

When he saw you sitting in your rusty SUV you looked so innocent and pure, you were more than beautiful. The afternoon sun lighting up your high cheekbones and slender, slightly upturned nose, it gave you an almost angelic glow that temporarily took his breath away. If he had to describe you in two words he would say that you were simply ravishing. For the first time in almost thirty years he wished he still had the calming comfort of that black felt cowboy hat. But that soft Stetson went with her because she loved it so much. 

As he caught his breath and looked at you from his garage, he was overcome with an urge to bruise and corrupt you. He’s a bad man for the thoughts he's been having about you. He can’t help himself, but even in his most twisted of fantasies, he’d never do anything you didn’t want him to. But, fuck, he’s sure he could mold you into exactly what he wants in a submissive. 

Joel isn’t new to the world of kink; he’s had many subs, all of whom have referred to him as Mister Miller. However, his name has never sounded so fucking sweet as it did coming off your lips. Those two little words leaving your pouty, pink lips feel like that first sip of whiskey after a long day, and it might kill him if he doesn’t make you his. 

He sighs into the white wood of the door before standing and walking to sit behind his desk. He drops into the soft leather chair and lets his head fall back onto the headrest and closes his eyes. What is it about you? Why can’t he stop thinking about you? You’re way too young. Way too sweet. Way too…sinless. And even though he can’t explain it, and he knows you don’t know it, you’re way too “exactly-what-is-going-to-ruin-his-entire-life”. 

You’re not someone he can just play with. No, he’s good at reading people, and you’re the kind of person that deserves being invested into. You’re also not someone who is going to stick around. You have dreams and well laid out plans on how you’re going to achieve them. He can’t cage you in, he’ll have to let you spread your wings and fly no matter how much he sees himself as the man he used to be reflected back in your eyes.  

He opens his eyes and pictures you kneeling in the corner, perfectly manicured hands that he pays for you to have done weekly folded on your lap as he works. He imagines calling you over with a curl of his fingers, you crawling across the plush carpet and resting your head on his lap as he responds to emails, takes calls, or plans events. He could reach down and run his fingers through your soft, silky hair as you nuzzled deeper into his lap with your cheek. “My perfect, sweet girl,” he’d hum.  

His body falls forward, forehead hitting the sturdy wooden desk with a thump. Jesus Christ, Joel. 

It was one thing when he only found you beautiful - he could live with being attracted to you, he could find a way around it or stuff that attraction down, maybe he’d find a new sub to distract himself with. That would be easy for him, but then you had to open your mouth, you had to speak so passionately about your future. Why couldn’t you just be pretty like all the other women he plays with? You might be one of the most driven people he knows: the way you push yourself, already planning for the next “no”. And that kills him, ruins him really that you are programmed to think there will automatically be a “no” and that you’ll have to endure another round of LSAT’s and college applications. You’re smart, and he wants to kill whoever made you feel like you need to push yourself this hard. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket; annoyance courses through his body until he sees his brother's name across the pristine screen of his newest iPhone Max. 

“Ya?” He says harshly. 

“Everything ok with the alarm?” 

Joel’s mind goes blank, “What?” 

Tommy is silent for a second before he responds slowly, “The alarm? You left in the middle of a meeting because of an alarm.” 

Joel shakes his head. Right, the alarm. The bullshit excuse he made up so he could leave to see you. “Ya, right. Ya, it’s fine. Got it all, umm, all fixed up. Should be back soon.”

“You ok, brother?” Tommy asks suspiciously. “You seemed, I dunno, distracted today.” 

“I’m fine,” Joel snaps. 

“Alright. Well, come back soon, pretty big night here and we need ya.” 

Joel hangs up without saying goodbye. He’s the owner, he knows it’s a big night, but he’s sort of busy having an existential crisis over possibly being in love with his house cleaner. Whoa, in love? Pump the fucking brakes. Joel’s heart stops beating for a second at the thought of it. He can’t possibly be in love; he doesn’t fall in love. No, he decides, it’s just because she’s new, and exactly my type, and it’s been a long time since I found someone that’s my type.

Just as he stands from his desk, he hears the hose outside turn on. You must be at the pool furniture part of your list. He takes this moment to sneak out of his own house, because he’s a weak man when it comes to you, apparently. He slips into the Italian leather front seat and lets the new car smell waft over him; he loves the smells of a new sports car and has never owned one long enough for it to stop smelling that way. It’s a matter of status to him. He takes a good hard look at himself in the rear view mirror. That’s enough now. For both of your sakes. Leave her alone. 

You 

After spraying down the pool furniture you rush inside to warm up. Seriously, who needs their pool stuff cleaned in the fucking winter? As you jog up the stairs to grab Joel’s freshly laundered sheets, you blow into your cupped palms. The warmth spreads from your frozen fingertips to your palms. Joel’s office is empty; he must have left while you were outside. Your brain swirls with unanswered questions as you pull the fitted sheet back onto his king size bed. Why would he come home? First of all, he knows you’re here this time and second of all, he knows he’s not supposed to be here. So why? And then there’s his calculating stare, always watching and usually with a flash of pride in his features. Did he come back here just to talk to you? Maybe even to get to know you? 

It’s safe to say that you’re more confused than ever, and you make a mental schedule of studying and reading to keep you busy later tonight so you won’t spend hours trying to google him again.

It takes way too much effort, and a silent promise to yourself to get back to the gym, but you manage to wrestle the oversized duvet back into its cover just as three o’clock rolls around. You jog down the wide, open staircase and your phone bings in your back pocket. Jamie’s name is splayed across your cracked screen, the sunset from your last trip to California shining back at you. 

What are you doing tonight? Want to make a bunch of money serving drinks topless?

You laugh to yourself. Truthfully, nothing Jamie asks you seems to surprise you, and some sort of odd job where you’re topless or in a sexy outfit is practically a guarantee as a condition of your friendship. As you reach for the black envelope on the kitchen island you text back. 

What?

You barely have the thick parchment of the envelope open when she responds, like she already had the text locked and loaded and was just waiting for you to try to fight her on it.  

Remember Laren? My cousin? She has a topless catering company and needs help tonight. It’s at some exclusive VIP poker game downtown. 4 hours, $300 + tips.

You respond as a thousand dollars falls out of the tip envelope. 

I’m in.

Jamie picks you up a few hours later and parks her blacked out Range Rover in the alleyway behind a shiny black building in the heart of downtown. You’re once again surrounded by wealth and success thanks to Jamie. The dress code tonight is a black pencil skirt, black heels, your tits, and a bow tie that Laren will give you. Speaking of whom, Laren is holding open a staff door for you and Jamie with her hip, waving the two of you into the warmth of the building. She pulls you both into a big hug, “Thank fuck! You two saved my ass tonight. Gotta love having friends and family with great tits!”

“You’re so weird,” Jamie says, brushing past her and into the building. You follow her in before Laren ushers you towards a service elevator. 

“They’ve already started, you’re part of the second shift. I think the first set of girls made about four hundred each in tips, helps if you serve the guys that are winning though. The first round of games is almost over, winners move on soon.”

“How were their tits though? As great as ours?” You joke. Underneath the calm and collected mask you’re wearing you are definitely nervous. All these strange men are going to see you half naked, you know nothing about poker or serving drinks. Your two friends laugh as the elevator opens to a small changing room. Girls from the first shift are putting their tops back on, handing the bow ties back to Laren who gives them to you and Jamie. 

She cocks her head towards a swinging door, “Just through there when you’re done. Go to the bartender for a tray and table assignment. Two girls per table and only six seats so it should be pretty easy. Make sure you smile!”

“Yes, ma’am,” you and Jamie say teasingly as you strip off your tops and bras. She flips you the middle finger as she heads back out to the poker game to supervise. The cool air of the room stiffens your nipples, nerves fluttering behind your navel as you put the bow tie on.

You overhear the girls that are leaving talking about the men, “Did you see the one with the curly hair at the table by the bar?”, one says. 

The other responds, “He was so fucking hot. Total daddy, I think he owns this place.” 

A third pipes up with, “Fuck, I should have flirted more. I could use a sugar daddy.” 

As they walk towards the elevator the first girl says, “Did you know that this is a sex club? Too bad we can’t go explore the rest.” They giggle as they leave and you take a steadying breath. You’re going to be topless, in a sex club. 

“Ready?” Jamie asks, adjusting her bowtie around her slender neck. 

“Did you know this is a sex club?”

She laughs, “Ya, it’s like an exclusive kink club apparently. Laren said it’s owned by two brothers who are insanely hot. Maybe I should see if they need a maid.” She winks at you as you both walk towards the swinging door. 

You step into the dimly lit room and find the bar directly across from you. After rolling your shoulders back and down, you cross the dark hardwood floor to the bar. Everything in the room is black or deep forest green. Black paint covers the walls, your heels click against the sturdy black wooden floors, even the poker tables and chairs are black. A pop of deep green velvet only along the seats and table tops. It looks soft, like one of those fuzzy blankets you have on your couch and you fight the urge to run your hand across one of the empty tables as you pass. 

The bartender hands Jamie a tray first and then quietly tells her to go to the table in the far right corner. She sways her hips like the sultry goddess she is as she walks to the table. Relief floods through you when you notice that none of the men have raised their eyes, they’re focused intently on the card game. This isn’t some sleazy club like you initially thought when you heard ‘sex club’ leave the lips of the other servers. You relax a little at being able to just be yourself tonight, maybe a bit more naked than you’d usually be but yourself nonetheless. 

You take the black marble serving tray as the bartender points to the table closest to the bar. The curly hair man that the women were talking about in the change room faces away from you. Your heart leaps in your chest. Joel. As you approach the other server standing behind the table, he starts to turn his head. Time stops, your heart speeds up, and it starts to feel simultaneously too hot and too cold in the room all at the same time. It’s almost as if he’s turning his head in slow motion. As you catch his side profile he has the same hooked nose, in the dim light of the room you can’t see any greys along his temples and he doesn’t appear to have a beard. After what feels like an hour, his eyes finally meet yours and you let out a breath, although you aren’t sure if it’s disappointment or relief leaving your lungs. It’s not Joel Miller.

“Mind bringin’ me another Macallan neat, sweetheart?” His eyes stay locked on yours as he smiles at you sweetly. He holds the crystal glass out for you and you take it with a soft ‘yes, sir.’

Something about those eyes, and the way they flash darkly at being called sir, feels all too familiar. In the time it takes for you to take the six or seven steps to the bar you convince yourself that it’s just your brain seeing him everywhere. You tell yourself that when you bring this drink back he’ll look nothing like the man you caught knuckles deep in a woman as she cried out, nothing like the man who was so gentle and sweet, yet slightly bossy and commanding with you this afternoon. 

That’s definitely it, you say to yourself with finality. You’re just cock drunk over a cock you’ll never have. 

The bartender pops the whiskey open and the hair on the back of your neck stands up, you can feel someone looking at you. Almost feel their stare heating the right side of your body. It feels as if all of your exposed skin is being covered by the gaze of whomever is looking at you, shielding you protectively from the view of the other men. The bartender's eyes flick to the corner of the room and then back to you while he hands you the drink. The shift of his gaze confirms that you weren’t imagining it, there is someone looking at you. You place the whiskey on your tray and spin cautiously to the right, stopping dead in your tracks when you lock eyes with Joel Miller. He looks dangerous, sitting at a low table along the wall, his face just barely illuminated by a single candle on the dark wooden table top. His fingers are laced together, forearms of his black dress shirt resting on the knees of his black dress pants. His lips are pressed in a thin, disapproving line. 

He stalks over to you and you wish your tray was empty so you could shield your tits from him. The way he moves is almost menacing, like a jaguar stalking his prey, his eyes are almost black in the low light of the room. Your nipples stiffen under his intense gaze, your mouth fills with saliva and you gulp loudly. You stand frozen, the whiskey for that man you had convinced yourself isn’t related to Joel forgotten about on your tray. He plucks the drink off the marble slab, the glass looking like one of those disposable paper cups you have in your bathroom in his hand. He takes two long strides and drops the glass beside the man. 

“Thanks,” he starts to coo, a ten dollar bill clasped between two fingers. After realizing it’s not you, he adds a confused, “Brother?” 

He tries to pull the money back, but Joel is quicker. Snatching it from his brother's grasp and tucking it into the breast pocket of his dress shirt. Joel turns back to you and steps in closely, your lower back hitting the cold marble bartop and you gasp, arching your back and naked breasts towards Joel. His jaw flexes as he fights to keep his eyes level with yours. 

“What are you doin’ here?” he says in a harsh whisper. 

“I’m working,” it comes out a lot more bratty and defiant than you intend it to. 

“Not here you ain’t.”

You take a small step forward, your hard nipples lightly grazing the soft fabric of his black dress shirt. “I’m not leaving.” 

His hand circles your bicep and you twist out of his grasp. “You’re makin’ a scene, darlin’.” 

“You are, Joel. I’m just trying to make money.” He grabs you more firmly this time, not tight enough to hurt you but enough for you to know he means business. 

What’s his problem anyway? He doesn’t own you. What you do outside his home is none of his business. He can boss you around via an app every other week, but that’s it. That’s where it ends. You glance desperately over at Jamie to find her back to you as she speaks softly with a man who’s waiting for the next round of poker. Her hand grazes his bicep flirtatiously, she makes it look too easy to get what she wants from men. Joel guides you towards the staff changing room, keeping your body in the dark edges of the room. He’s breathing heavily through his nose, like an angry dragon and you’re honestly surprised smoke isn’t billowing out of his nostrils. 

In the bright lights of the changing room you feel more exposed than ever. You want to lift your tray, but in order to prove to him that you don’t care what he or anyone thinks you don’t. In fact, you stand up taller, holding your head high and pushing your chest out. It’s infinitesimal but he looks down just for a nano second. You smirk when his eyes come back to you. 

“Put a shirt on.” 

“If none of the other girls have to put a shirt on then neither do I.” You pop your hip out and pull your arm free from his large calloused hand and rest it on your hip. 

“Don’t fight me on this.” 

“I’m not fighting. You are. So all those other girls are fine, but I’m not? Why? My tits aren’t big enough for you?” 

“That’s not,” he pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a breath with his eyes closed. When he reopens them his eyes land softly on yours. “I just need you not to be here. Please.” 

Bright red anger sparks along the sides of your eyes. Seriously, who does he think he is? “You aren’t the boss here, Mister Miller.” 

“Do NOT call me that.” His neck flushes the same colour as your vision. You stand your ground, eyes narrowing into glaring slits. What is his aversion to being called Mister Miller, and why does it turn you on a little bit to rile him up when you use it?

“You aren’t my boss or my dad, Joel. You can’t make me leave or tell me what jobs I can or can’t take.” You’ve figuratively dug your heels in, you aren’t leaving. He can’t make you. Only Laren or whoever owns this sex club can ask that of you. “You can’t kick me out like you own the place.” 

“Actually,” he says darkly, “I can.” 

“What?” You say through a nervous breath, eyes widening. 

“I own the place. So I can kick you out, and I am kicking you out. Get your shirt.” 

Your shoulders fall slightly. You feel about two feet tall with the realization that he doesn’t want you here. This afternoon you thought that maybe he cared, he seemed like he cared, and now you’re half naked and he wants you to leave. He watches as you unclasp your bow tie and slide on your bra and shirt. 

You look over at Jamie’s clothes and it dawns on you that you didn’t drive here. Your face falls as you blink around the room and then towards Joel. 

“What’s wrong?” he says through thick concern.

“Nothing. I just…” 

He steps towards you, he’s so broad, his presence so large that you start to feel almost claustrophobic when he’s this close, but you never want him to step away. You’d happily let him smother you with his innate Joel-ness. “You just what?”

“I didn’t drive here,” you say quietly, looking down at your hands. Your left thumb nail immediately finds purchase along the cuticle of your right thumb. 

His strong palm cups your chin, lifting until he’s looking at you again. You’re becoming more and more used to the amount of eye contact Joel seems to make. He seems constantly dialed in on you when you’re in the same room.

Yes, I would be very happy to let him smother me. 

The harsh lines of his face soften, “I can get you a car. They’ll meet you at the staff door.” 

You nod into his hand and find it exceedingly hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you that way. He drops your chin and turns his large, broad body back towards the swinging door. He looks over his shoulder and says, “I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” His voice is soft and sad, almost as if he’s full of remorse and just hoping you won’t hate him before heading back into the poker game. Any bit of anger is flushed from your system, replaced with the disappointment of having to leave wherever Joel is.  

You drag your feet to the elevator and then towards the staff exit. You let the heavy door close behind you with a loud bang as a blacked out SUV pulls up. The driver says your first and last name as he opens the back door for you. You look towards the black building one last time. 

“I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” 

JMKink is written in shiny metallic black on the door and all the information of the evening hits you at once. JMK. Joel Miller Kink. Joel Miller, insanely handsome millionaire, owns a sex club.

Follow @mountainsandmayhem-updates and turn on notifications for future chapters and other work.

[devsgames]

I'm sorry but for people who cheer on mass game industry layoffs because they think it's some kind of upheaval that is going to "topple the AAA industry" or "teach them a lesson": I hate to break it to you but AAA studios have a metric shitload of money and despite what their press releases say, they really aren't hurting as much as they'd have you think right now. Thousands of jobs lost is a temporary setback to them; if it was actually a last resort move they wouldn't have all simultaneously put themselves in a position where they had to do it in the first place. These studios have been around for decades and will continue to be around, and they will continue to operate just as they have for the last thirty years because they have huge vaults and no morals. They aren't learning a lesson from this because most of them saw it coming but would never admit that.

Know who is being permanently impacted by games layoffs?

It's the indie studio making sick ass games you'll never get to play because they laid everyone off when a publisher tried to save money by pulling all their funding. The hundreds of workers who woke up one morning and found out they suddenly have no job to put food on the table for their children. The international workers who were let go from the job that supplies their visa that helps them stay in the country. The thousands of students who now have to compete over a pool of a dozen job openings, who will work in studios where all the senior staff and leadership who would normally be there to help mentor them into their roles were fired. The disabled workers who now no longer have health or insurance coverage for their survival. The workers who didn't get laid off but survived to see all their friends and coworkers lose their livelihoods for completely arbitrary reasons and whose morale has all but been completely obliterated. The workers in the Global South working for outsourcing companies who were relying on cancelled projects from AAA studios to put food on their tables.

So whenever you're inclined to assume that the suffering of workers is somehow teaching rich people a lesson, remember that no, it doesn't actually and almost never will. All it does is teach thousands of talented workers in the video game industry that games were never - and will never - be worth it.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

So, considering what's going on with Riot right now, do you think Arcane Season 2 got caught up in all of this restructuring?

Yes and no. Arcane season 2 is part of the reason for the restructuring.

As I understand it, internally at Riot, after Arcane was a huge (and more importantly: prestigious!) success, the decision was made to basically hand the entirety of the game's lore and story over to the Entertainment division within Riot. These are the people in large part responsible for projects like Arcane, K/DA, Heartsteel, that animated series China got, all that sort of thing.

The writers at Riot were basically told to flat out stop producing new content and lore for the game - that's why there's BEEN no new story content for League for over a year - because everything was going to be consolidated under the Entertainment division from now on. This is why Riot started talking about "One Runeterra" and "Arcane is going to be canon" and so on.

The success of Arcane convinced executives that what League of Legends needs is a singular cohesive brand with its most successful public property leading the charge, Arcane is going to be the gateway drug, the hook on the end of the line that brings new players and new paying customers into the exciting world of the League of Legends multimedia IP universe!

Nevermind that Arcane's story and worldbuilding is fundamentally incompatible with >checks notes< the overwhelming majority of Runeterra as it exists and enormous compromises would have to be made to either the world of Runeterra or Arcane itself to make it work. Arcane is the big shiny prestigious mainstream Emmy-award winning project that every executive wants to put their name next to, and like companies Pivoting To Video in 2015 because Facebook showed them inflated viewership stats, Riot Games is Pivoting To Arcane. It's better than them pivoting to crypto and NFTs, at least, although I know for a fact that high ranking people at Riot tried to make that happen too.

Now, the primary cause for all of these games industry layoffs is that interest rates aren't zero anymore. Borrowing money isn't free, the curve of constant growth has ever so slightly slowed, taking on debt is becoming a little tiny bit more risky than it was previously, and corporations are responding to this with massive rounds of layoffs and constriction to show "financial responsibility" and prove to shareholders that they are prioritizing core growth strategies and blah blah blah etc. They're also trying to kneecap the growing labor movement in the games industry and exert downwards pressure on wages, but the interest rates seem to have been the main thing.

In Riot's particular case, a secondary reason is they want to pivot the focus of the company to support their One Runeterra pipe dream, so a lot of the people who got fired at Riot are writers, artists, creative leads and sometimes extremely senior and successful staff who are now surplus to requirements. This is also why Riot shut down Riot Forge in the same round of layoffs - can't have a bunch of talented indie devs going off making video games that don't adhere to the new One Runeterra policy. What if someone played Mageseeker and got confused how there can be mages all over Demacia but somehow there are no mages in Arcane's Piltover and Zaun. That's a plot hole! People write snarky articles about that sort of thing. It turns off new consumers! What if Cinema Sins makes a video making fun of it?!?

So yeah. A bunch of cocaine-addled fame hungry executive vultures at Riot are absolutely gagging on their own d*cks to put their name next to Arcane related projects, and since they were going to be screwing hundreds of people out of their careers, healthcare, and in some cases their fucking visa status anyway, it seems to have presented a nice opportunity to clear the board for their latest Visionary Scheme for the company IP.

That is as I understand the situation, anyway. I'm a bitter old man and most of what I hear is second hand and anonymous gossip through my social networks, take what I say with a grain of salt, but I've followed this company for (oh god) twelve years now and I have developed a tragically keen understanding of how its executive class operates.

[whoiseduardito]

Heeey so I've come to the sad realization that marvel has yet again made me simp over a character that is NEVER written for so, I was wondering if you would be willing to do a fluffy magneto fic.

Maybe where you are a new teacher a the school and had never me Erik and end up with a crush and he ends up finding out somehow. Idk sorry ik that was a long one.

I need something fluffy after these past episodes and Smut is fine with me but I'm not sure if your comfortable writing smut if not no big.

HEY! GET OUT OF MY WAY!

pairing: erik lehnsherrr (magneto) x reader warn: i love this type of fluff!!!!!!! a/n: my first req!! not proof read!!! horrible writing, rushed, you can tell i loved the sound of music trope.

so maybe you have a type.

older guys who have the humor of a rock.

...maybe just the older xenotype- but that's not important, totally not. the issue is that, you're crushin'. you're crushin' hard.

maybe it is the face, maybe it is the hair, but something about erik lehnsherr pulls you in, like a magnet, ironically.

you were the new teacher at the 'xavier's school for gifted youngsters, it was a pleasant experience, the students were nice (until their mutations were triggered, but that's not their fault), the ambient was too, and the pay? you could pay your rent, and more!

for you, the 'no crushing on coworkers' was bullshit, a harmless crush can't do that bad, as long as it's harmless.

so you continued with your lecture, 'history of mutation', very cool, you had even made a presentation, and then a kahoot, pretty cool right?

"so, the history of mutations can date back to many years, such as the sixth century-"

the door opened, all of the heads turned, and the person stepped in, you turned away from the board you were writing, your eyes searching for the person.

it was your fucking crush, it was fucking magneto.

your face drained of all color, and his electric freezing blue eyes stared back.

"uhh-"

"-..this is a senior class, correct?" he walked around the class, his eyes cutting contact from your's

"...y-yeah totally" he stopped near a decoration with 'mini prom!" painted on it with photos of the students as younger kids.

"then why are decorations everywhere?" he stared at it "this is not kindergarden."

damn. "well?"

"i-i thought it would be good to make this a nice atmosphere for the students."

"the world is not an nice atmosphere for mutants, is it?"

the class was dead silent, no one dared to breathe, even lightly.

"i want this off the wall before the end of the day." he made his way out.

"why?" you whispered

he stopped "because i said so, miss l/n. now rip it off"

oh, your mood had soured

"i'm sorry magneto, sir, but the decorations stay." you said those words with all of the backbone you have

"i'm the headmaster. it goes off."

"i'm the homeroom teacher, it stays."

you were a teeny tiny scared but for your students you'd fight him without your mutation. he glared, his piercing glare stayed on you

"i'm sorry mister magneto but in here, i give the best ambient for my students."

his stare became harder, and then he blinked, sighing and walking away "...i'd like to see you in my office, right now."

you gulped loudly, you're pretty sure he heard.

he began walking away, a beat passed until you realised he wanted you to follow him, you began walking alongside him.

the way there was silent, but your head was running, this is it, this is what you get for standing up for your students, shit.

he opened the door, and let you in, murmured a 'take a seat'

"...i am not fond of people disobeying my commands."

"i am aware, mister magneto."

"just call me sir, mister magneto is ticking me off"

"sorry, sir" you quickly said, most of the backbone you had you used it on standing up to him, and now you were getting fired.

"just answer me this." you nodded, you complied "you are aware that in this school you're just needed to teach them, and just make sure they understand how the world works, not pamper them, not make them decorations."

"but-"

"are you aware?"

"yes, but-"

"then why are you pampering them?"

ouch

"i'm going to move you, transfer you if you will"

"what?"

"roulette, the mutation to be able to randomize whatever power you have seen either physically or by any media."

you're screwed

"your mutation, am i right?"

"sir-"

"you're going to work with me to make them control their mutation."

"...what?"

"you and me, are going to train them."

"uhm.... who?"

he sighed loudly, he surely had a small fuse "your students."

great! teaching with magneto.

"...you sure sir?"

"i am sure."

breaking the news to your students was easy, making them behave so you don't look like a doof, was hard.

many classes had passed with mag- mister lehnsherr (he had told you to stop calling him 'magneto'), each day was hard but sometimes you picked at his stony personality, hoping that he would notice, sometimes you swear you saw him crack a small grin when you made a joke or had integration activities for your class, and your tiny crush had maybe turned into a bigger crush.

"teach'?"

"hm?" the voice of one of your students pulled you out of your meditation spot "what is it?"

"are you okay? you've been in this spot for the whole break."

"oh here? this is a great spot to think." it was a tree behind the mansion, in a secluded corner.

"mister magento is looking for you." they sat next to you beneath the tree

"why?" they shrugged

"maybe's cause he likes you" your head snapped to their direction

"...don't be silly" you tried to look away "he doesn't"

"really? 'cause i always hear his heart beating faster, when you do something or appear." their mutation was enhanced hearing, you blushed

"oh, stop lying." you snorted

"he does!" they jabbed you with their fingers to tease you "and you like him back!"

"shut up!" you laughed

"you do! you do!" they chuckled, suddenly they remained quiet and a smirk slowly was painted in their face "i'll leave you both alone" they walked away

"wha?-"

"miss l/n?"

oh shit.

"do you like me?" you turned your head slowly to face him.

"mister lehnsherr!-"

"please, call me erik." he chuckled, maybe the first time you saw his face in a smirk that isn't evil. "and how about a coffee to discuss about your teaching methods?"

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Amazing news on the 129th day of the war: Israel's army has rescued 2 hostages from Gaza, 70 years old Luis Har and 60 years old Fernando Merman (they're two of 5 family members who were all kidnapped together, including Clara Merman who I mentioned before. The women were released as a part of the hostage deal, roughly 2 months ago). The rescue operation was started at roughly 1 in the morning, lasted about 1 hour from the first to the last bullet fired, and took place in Rafah, the last city in Gaza under full Hamas control. That Israel managed to do it in Hamas' last stronghold makes this operation (which required a lot of forces and VERY accurate intel) even more impressive, certainly when you consider how the difference between success and tragic failure in such complex operations is SO small. The IDF spokesman said that from the moment the soldiers broke in, they physically embraced Fernando and Luis to shield the hostages with the soldiers' own body (we've heard from released hostages that the terrorists told then in case of a rescue operation, the orders are for the terrorist to kill them, them themselves. I'm gonna admit, that's when I started crying. I was so happy to hear these two men are okay, but being reminded that young men, with their whole lives ahead of them, physically put their bodies between these elderly men and the terrorists' bullets got to me. It goes against every evolutionary instinct that human beings are supposed to have, and yet... And the truth is, that's what all of our soldiers are doing, they're putting themselves between us, all Israeli citizens, and the brutal violence of the terrorists.

On the left and Luis on the right:

Hamas has made its own announcement about this operation, of course not saying a word about the freed hostages, and instead blaming Israel of committing a massacre. Hamas, which started this whole war by massacring over (at least) 1,200 people, most of which were civilians, and kidnapping over 240 human beings, is accusing Israel of committing a massacre because Hamas says dozens of people were killed (according to the soldiers who engaged in fire with them, there's no question that most of the people killed weren't "uninvolved civilians") during the rescue of the civilians kidnapped by Hamas. Make it make sense. Soap opera logic doesn't make my head hurt as much as that of antisemites.

Yesterday, there were two stabbing terrorist attacks in Jerusalem and near it. The first one happened in the Old City, ending with one person wounded and the terrorist neutralized. The other took place outside the town of Beitar Illit, no one was wounded, the terrorist was neutralized. On a personal note, there's an expert doctor who I've been going to in Jerusalem, and he called me back on a very specific date, but when I called his secretary, it turns out he's fully booked for an entire month past that day. My one option to see him around the date he mentioned, is to go see him at his Beitar Illit clinic. We're talking about a clinic that's 15 minutes from my home, yet right now I feel terrified of going there. It feels like if I go, I may pay for it dearly, and if I don't go, I may pay for it dearly. It's my own country, my ancestral homeland, a place my ancestors, who lived in the same place as I do, weren't scared to travel to. This is not a normal reality, and anyone calling this "resistance" just means they're against Jews having a normal life.

Once more, a Gazan journalist was revealed to be a Hamas terrorist. This time, it's a man who has been reporting for Al Jazeera (which has a long history of antisemitism), and has now been determined to have been a Hamas senior, developing anti-tank missiles for the terrorist organization. I just wanna point out that anti-tank missiles were fired at homes in Israeli civilian communities, including on Oct 7. Please keep in mind these countless journalist who are also linked with Hamas when you hear the lie that Israel is targeting journalists just for reporting.

A 21 years old Palestinian, convicted for terrorist acts, who had been released as a part of the hostage deal, was arrested yesterday after trying to infiltrate Israel using a stolen Israeli ID card. This is the third released convicted terrorist I've heard of to be arrested since the hostage deal in December 2023. There might have been more that I missed. This is a reminder that a terrifyingly high percentage of prematurely released terrorist end up returning to terrorist activity in one capacity or another.

On the same day that Israeli IDF troops courage and willingness to self sacrifice made me cry, we also learned that two soldiers were killed tonight, in a separate (earlier) fight to the one where the hostages were released (in a different part of Gaza). Still, while they might not have been standing physically in front of Israeli civilians, but protecting them is exactly what they did. Every operation that saves a hostage is made possible by the army's presence and progress in Gaza. If soldiers were able to free hostages in the southern part of Gaza, it's thanks to each one fighting (and dying) in the northern parts, too. So today, I'm gonna remember that, as we say goodbye to these two 21 year olds. Our hearts bleed with their families for this loss. May their memory be a blessing.

These are 32 years old Eynav Levy and her 33 years old husband Or.

On Oct 7, they arrived at the Nova music festival just minutes before Hamas' attack started. Eynav was murdered, while Or was taken hostage to Gaza. They have a 2 years old baby, Almog. He doesn't understand, and there is no way to explain to him, where his parents have disappeared to. May Eynav's memory be a blessing, and Or return, so his son will still have at least one parent.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[deliriumsdelight7]

Okay so I'm too afraid to watch Stranger Things (I have on good authority that it would actually break me) but I feel like I Need to know about hellcheer, what are the most important things to know xD

You, my friend, are in luck, because Hellcheer has all of, like, five minutes of interactions. I’ll only show you the video for the good one so as not to break you. This scene OOZES chemistry:

As for things to know, I will do my best to stick with strictly canon material and avoid headcanons (of which there are many).

For Chrissy Cunningham:

1.) She is a senior in high school, head cheerleader.

2.) She is dating the captain of the basketball team, Jason Carver.

3.) She is being plagued by visions from an otherworldly creature who is essentially feeding off of her trauma. That’s why she’s so jumpy in the clip.

4.) She has an eating disorder. This manifests in her visions as a table full of food that is rotting and fly-infested.

5.) Her mother is abusive. This manifests in her visions with her mother at a sewing machine altering Chrissy’s clothes to fit. Additionally, in the vision, her father is sewn to his recliner, his eyes and mouth sewn shut - implying that he has been violently blinded, immobilized, and silenced by his wife.

6.) Later in the night the same day as the above scene, Chrissy goes to Eddie’s trailer so he can sell her ketamine to try to ignore her visions. The creature haunting her takes this opportunity to kill her brutally in front of Eddie.

For Eddie Munson:

1.) Eddie is loud and abrasive. Compare the scene where he’s introduced to how soft he is with Chrissy:

2.) Eddie lives in a trailer with his uncle. According to the prequel book, his mother is dead and his father is in jail. His father taught him to hotwire cars when he was a kid.

3.) Eddie has been held back twice. His goal is to graduate high school, flip off the principal, and get out of Hawkins, Indiana.

4.) He is not the same person after Chrissy dies. He is deeply traumatized, and blames himself for running away and leaving her in his trailer (even though she was already dead).

5.) Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, is Eddie’s number one supporter. This guy is continuing to shelter his twenty-year-old drug dealer metalhead nephew when he has no obligation to. When he comes home from work to see a dead cheerleader in his trailer, he is 100% positive Eddie didn’t do it. We would all die for Uncle Wayne.

6.) In the last episode of the season, Eddie goes into the alternate dimension where the evil creature lurks and plays Master of Puppets by Metallica as a distraction. Now, people take this as Eddie being a guitar prodigy because that song came out only WEEKS before the events of this season. But more importantly: he dedicates his performance to Chrissy.

(Only the first few seconds of this are relevant)

7.) Chrissy’s death affects Eddie right up to his own. He successfully distracts the creatures in the alternate dimension. He’s in the process of returning to his own when he stops, turns around, and sacrifices himself in order to keep the monsters at bay a little longer. As he’s dying, he says, “I didn’t run away this time.”

Jason Carver (because no Beauty and the Beast style ship is complete without a Gaston):

1.) Jason is Chrissy’s boyfriend and the captain of the basketball team. He is handsome and well-liked, but very self-centered. One of the first times we see him, he takes a town tragedy - a “mall fire” that killed dozens - and makes it about his upcoming basketball game.

2.) When Chrissy dies, he goes off the rails. He gathers his teammates, packs his trunk full of weapons, and goes hunting for Eddie.

3.) We never really see Jason sad about Chrissy’s death. He’s only angry. There’s a scene where a classmate offers her condolences to Jason. He changes the subject.

4.) When someone tells Jason that Chrissy went to Eddie because she was scared, he grows angry and says that she would have come to him. Kinda says a lot about the relationship.

5.) Fun fact: the actor who played Jason based his personality off of Tom Cruise and mega church leaders. Yikes.

Parallels:

1.) ‘86: Chrissy wears a 1986 necklace, and Eddie says that ‘86 is going to be his year.

2.) We never see either character out of their “uniform” - her cheerleading outfit and his Hellfire Club t-shirt (his DnD club).

3.) Both characters were victims of the town’s perception of them. Chrissy didn’t get the help she needed because her life seemed so perfect. Eddie was pursued by a literal mob because the town succumbed to Satanic Panic.

4.) Both had parents who put unfair expectations on them: Chrissy’s mother put the burden of beauty on her, and Eddie’s dad made him help steal cars.

Hopefully that’s a good jumping off point! If anybody else wants to chime in with anything I missed, feel free!

Let me know if you want popular headcanons to go with it!

[sunnebeam]

twin flame bruise. (03)

PART 3.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader, jeon jungkook x reader (yes they're different people)

plot: the jeon twins have become nothing more than two strikingly similar looking guys who share a mere home address and a last name. but in their senior year of college, the estranged twins may have found one more thing they share in common – you.

warnings: jeon twins au, possible headache bc the use of Jeongguk (nicknamed Guk) and Jung Kook (nicknamed JK) is v confusing, implied sexual content (like it's barely even there lol)

series index. | masterlist + disclaimers.

note: ok ngl, i think i butchered this chapter 😵‍💫 but i'm still gonna post it anyway lmao. as always, feedback & reviews give me sustenance! (and they give me motivation to actually finish this shit AHA) enjoy reading <3

Sweat drips down Jung Kook’s back as he slams his fist against the pillow.

It’s not the most ideal setup but when you’re in hiding, you can’t exactly bring a punching bag and full boxing gear with you. Unfortunately, he’d have to settle with an overstuffed pillow and his bare hands.

Unlike most people, he has never been the type to stay still and wait. Where most people would use this sudden downtime as an opportunity to relax a bit and reevaluate things, he takes this as an opportunity to keep his hands occupied and his body moving.

So for most of the morning, JK works up a sweat with his makeshift pillow-turned-punching-bag as a way to release some pent up frustration. When he’s finally cooling down, he hears Yoongi and Namjoon approach him, their footsteps tentative.

“You know,” Namjoon starts, “for a split second there, I actually thought you were Guk. Since when do you do boxing?”

“Since when do you know all about my brother?” JK fires back.

“Touché,” Namjoon chuckles. “Still, I don’t think you were ever into boxing for as long as I’ve known you. You always told me ‘that’s Guk’s thing.’”

“I’m just passing the time,” JK explains, wiping his sweat with a towel.

"How is he, by the way?” Yoongi asks. “Your brother?”

“He’s...” JK pauses, “...the same, I guess. I don’t know. You guys know we don’t really talk.”

It’s true. For a pair of identical twins who share almost everything, it’s been a fat minute since they last sat down and had a proper conversation. One that isn’t forced courtesy or out of familial obligation.

JK wonders how his brother is doing. Does he still hang out with Taehyung and Jimin? Does he still visit their parents every other month? Does he know about his twin brother’s disappearance?

“You should talk to him more,” Yoongi says thoughtfully. “When all this is over.”

“What would we even talk about?” JK grumbles.

“Well, for one, you can introduce him to Y/N,” Namjoon offers.

“No,” JK says, resolute. “Not yet.”

“Why not? It’s about time you told her about having a twin. I mean, even I know you have a twin. Me!”

“That’s because you saw him at the library, and you know damn well I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.”

“Why are you keeping it from her, anyway?” Yoongi asks.

“It’s not that I’m actively keeping it from her...” JK sighs. “Look, you guys don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like to be a twin. Or more like, you don’t know what it’s like to be Guk’s twin.”

Because being Guk’s twin essentially means being the other twin. Being Guk’s twin means being the second twin. Being Guk’s twin means being the irrelevant twin.

“Guk is the better twin,” he admits. “He’s the perfect son, perfect student, perfect guy. And I’m just his understudy—”

“You’re not—”

“But I am. You see... Guk is always Guk. But I’m not even JK. No, I’m just Guk’s twin,” he explains. “But with Y/N, it’s different. With her, I’m not under anyone’s shadow. I’m just JK. I’m just her JK.”

He closes his eyes, adding a soft, “And I don’t wanna stop being her JK.”

Yoongi and Namjoon share a look before the former pats JK on the back gently.

“Get some rest, kid,” Yoongi says. “Things will be over soon.”

Namjoon offers a dimpled smile.

“Not much longer now,” he says.

"How much longer?”

Jeongguk shakes his head, amused. This is the seventh time you asked him the question and yet, instead of feeling annoyed, he just feels endeared.

“Asking every few minutes isn’t gonna make us go faster,” he tells you cheekily.

You pout. “You’re no fun.”

You say it in jest but you feel the atmosphere in the car turn more somber. The rain outside only adds to the sudden gloomy mood.

“Or so I’ve been told,” Guk finally mumbles. “I’m the boring twin, after all.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, remorseful. “I never intended to make you feel bad.”

“No, no, I know you were just joking,” he waves your concerns away, exhaling a shaky laugh. “I’ve been known to take things a little too seriously. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me.”

“Is that what they tell you, though?” you ask him, turning to face him. He has one hand on the steering wheel while the other rests on the gearshift. “You’re not boring, Guk. Far from it, actually.”

He just chuckles. “Thanks, but it doesn’t really matter. When you’re a twin, people are always gonna highlight all the things your twin is and all the things you aren’t.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“It’s just the way it is.” He shrugs. “And I can’t complain much, anyway, since I know JK has it harder than me.”

You blink. “How so?”

“Well, take school, for one. Just because I do really well in class, people are quick to label him as this stupid troublemaker. When in reality, he gets decent grades and can get really passionate in things he's interested in."

"Is that why he never talks about his family?" you muse, "why he never told me about you?"

"Maybe. I can't be too sure. You'll have to ask him when he gets back."

The rain starts to get worse.

"If he gets back," you whisper.

Guk tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

"He will," he promises.

The sky starts to darken as the rain brews into a storm. A small motel comes into view and you both decide to stop there for a night. After a little mishap at the check-in counter, the two of you head to your shared room.

As luck would have it, only one room is available and...

...there's only one bed.

You sigh. Whoever's writing the story of your life sure has a sick sense of humor.

"I can sleep on the floor," Guk, ever the gentleman, offers.

"Don't be silly," you tell him before heading over to the side of the bed closest to the window. "Dibs on this side."

He shakes his head in amusement before agreeing. You wash up first, doing your night routine before settling on the bed while he does his. When he finishes, he lays on his side of the bed and you both stare at the ceiling.

It's awkward.

You play with the edge of the blanket, wanting to say good night but you can't, wanting to lay still but you can't.

Guk notices your restlessness. He's about to ask you what's wrong when a particularly intense flash of lightning and grumbling of thunder makes you whimper and flinch.

"Not a fan of thunder?" he asks gently.

"I hate it," you respond.

He turns on his side to face you, eyeing the way your hands have a death grip on the blanket. Carefully, he reaches out his hand to hold one of yours, interlacing your fingers together as a sign of comfort.

"You can squeeze it if you get scared," he tells you.

You purse your lips. "It's not that I'm scared, per se," you explain, turning to face him. "It's just that... everything feels so ominous. Like bad things are about to happen."

Bad things like your parents leaving you in an orphanage during a storm. Bad things like you and JK screaming at each other during a storm.

And bad things like Guk's lips just centimeters from yours.

You gulp.

"Tell me stop," he says, inching closer.

You stay quiet.

Then you feel his lips pressing gently against yours, gently testing the waters. It's comforting, addicting.

He pulls away.

"You don't have to worry," he assures you, smiling. "I won't let bad things happen."

But that doesn't mean you won't.

So with stupid courage, you pull him by the neck and kiss him. Deeply, this time. You pull him in, closer and closer, until you don't have any room to think anymore.

No booming thunder, no scary lightning, no missing twin, no family problems. Just you, him, and the stormy night.

Much later, when the night passes and the storm finally ends, the bright moonlight shines on your bare, sated bodies.

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[bomberqueen17]

Liveblogging the Aubreyad 2: Post Captain, part 1

The main thing to know about the second book in Patrick O'Brian's Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin series is that it's really really really fucking long.

i was trying to sum up the plot even to myself and uh. it’s like. Late in the book there’s a dated letter and I realized it literally covers an almost four-year period. So like… as Inigo Montoya says, “Let me explain. No, no there is too much. Let me sum up.” But I can’t.

I went through and summarized the whole book in detail one night when I was having an insomnia issue and it was like a fever dream, and I'd read it twice and listened to it a third time before I started this project and still was like "WAIT there's MORE?" as I kept skimming through. But I'm gonna try.

I will begin unpromisingly with some tedious background worldbuilding stuff, though. Yes the entertaining way to do this would be We Didn't Start The Fire style rapid-fire snippets but do you know how much work that is? no I spent long enough reading this book I'm not doing that for you. Sorry.

I will relent, however, and give you one exciting tidbit: this book contains female characters, plural! Yes multiples of them! Round characters, with multiple facets apiece! Enticing, no?

So the underlying mechanic beneath like, a solid 75% of the plot of these books is promotion. For every naval officer in the series, this is a large portion of their motive for every issue.

There are three categories of members of the Navy in this respect. The first one is the foremast jacks-- your enlisted men, though in this time period they were often impressed, forcibly conscripted. They can achieve various ranks within themselves, specialty crews and various small statuses and such, but even the most dignified, long-serving of them is still subject to being flogged or beaten or disciplined at any time without any real recourse.

The next category is the ratings, or warrant officers-- subtle distinctions among them, but broadly speaking on the same level. The master is in charge of the navigation and general sailing of the ship, the bosun the rigging and masts, the purser the purse (money and supplies), the gunner you can probably guess. A surgeon has a warrant rather than a commission. And the midshipmen have ratings, not commissions either.

But midshipmen are eligible for promotion to lieutenant after six years of sea time. Once they are made lieutenant, they are a commissioned officer, no longer subject to flogging or dismissal out of hand-- they must be court-martialed for such a thing to occur. They get half-pay when on shore. They accrue seniority. A lieutenant can then be promoted to master and commander, as we saw in the first book. And from there he can be promoted to a post-captain, and from there promotion is automatic (though, crucially, a command is not), according to seniority. This will become important later. A post captain will become an admiral solely through seniority, in due time when it is his turn.

But an officer who doesn't have a stellar service record AND influential friends is very likely to be sidelined regardless of seniority. Many, many men serve thirty years as a lieutenant, never promoted. Still more languish as master's mates, the seniormost rating of a midshipman's rank. And even once made post, men languish ashore, and by the time they're made admiral, have so little renown that they're never given any kind of command at all and stay ashore doing nothing more than drawing half-pay.

I'm explaining all of this because much of the series winds up being an ongoing, meditative reflection on the benefits and flaws of such a situation, and we see incompetent men promoted while competent ones are sidelined, over and over. And this book shows the beginning of Jack Aubrey's career-long struggle to not only keep himself moving up this ladder, but also to try to take some of his people with him-- especially TOM PULLINGS, who as a former foremast jack from a family of dirt farmers, has absolutely no political influence of any kind, and cannot hope for any.

(This is, I think, part of what makes this series so readable. On the face of it it seems like oh no this is some rah-rah Royal Navy bullshit, but if you actually look at it, it's a pretty warts-and-all depiction, oftentimes depressingly heavy on the warts, which is much more interesting and also easier to stomach. I did have a little trouble with the book where they're fighting the War of 1812, though, where everyone was so dispirited that the Americans kept winning and I was like "wait no I'm rooting for those guys." LOLLL.)

But you didn't come here for this. You came here to know what happens in this book. And for that, I will do my best to convey some of it. I'll lead with a couple of teasers.

there are fly honeys. oh yes.

Stephen forcefems Jack into adopting a female bear as his fursona, for literally months. No I am not making this up.

TOM PULLINGS no you'll just have to get there to see, I can't bullet point him

Jack abducts a mugger

Barret Bonden beats a cop unconscious

That's enough teasers. Let's start with the fly honeys.

Everyone is ashore, and Jack has set himself and Stephen up in a sweet bachelor pad, with a crew of his favorite sailors as household staff. (Don't you fear, Preserved Killick is here.) His nearby neighbors are a household entirely made up of women: a horrible old woman, with three reasonably hot young daughters, and an incredibly hot niece. The war is over for now (it's the Peace of Amiens) and there are no ships to be had, but Jack has some money and is ready to do some fox hunting in more than one meaning of the word.

The neighbor is called Mrs. Williams and her oldest daughter, Sophia, is 27, willowy and ethereal, innocent and appealing. But her cousin Diana, about the same age, is a young widow brought up in India, and has incomparable style and dash. Stephen is completely smitten, but makes the mistake of telling her he's not really into women as women so much as he is interested in them as people, and she spends the next age treating him like absolute shit trying to get him to admit he's into her. Meanwhile, Jack is really into Sophia, but Diana is so dashing he can't help wanting to pursue her too, and so he and Stephen wind up unhappily romantic rivals. It doesn't help that Sophia is too innocent and entirely under her mother's idiot ill-natured thumb to straightforwardly reciprocate Jack's interest.

Jack throws a huge party, to be sociable, on Valentine's Day, in honor of the Battle of Cape St Vincent, of which he is a veteran. Babbington attends, and on his way there he is to pick up Diana, who had been sent to stay with another relative for a bit to get her out of the way so Jack would pay more attention to Sophia instead, Mrs. Williams being, to put it kindly, a conniving old bitch.

Babbington, as it turns out, is a horrible driver, which leads to perhaps the single funniest passage of the book.

“… she said [to herself], 'It will never do. This young man will have to be taken down.' The lane ran straight up hill, rising higher and higher, with God knows what breakneck descent the other side. The horse slowed to a walk - the bean-fed horse, as it proved by a thunderous, long, long fart. ‘I beg your pardon,' said the midshipman in the silence. 'Oh, that's all right,' said Diana coldly. 'I thought it was the horse.' A sideways glance showed that this had settled Babbington's hash for the moment. 'Let me show you how we do it in India,' she said, gathering the reins and taking his whip away from him.

Really, Diana is amazing, and you can almost forgive her for how horribly she treats Stephen. And Jack.

Anyway the overarching plot is now beginning-- it comes up (to the reader, though not to other characters per se) that Stephen is becoming quite involved in naval intelligence; his Catalan background means he's indispensible given that the British are keenly interested in using the cause of Catalan independence to divide Spain, preventing it from effectively allying with France, which is quite openly using this peace to amass an invasion army to take England. Shit is tense, in Europe.

But meanwhile at home, various legal matters are resolved badly and it turns out that instead of being owed thousands of pounds in prize-money, Jack has to repay eleven thousand pounds to the owners of ships he took that the courts decided were in fact neutrals. And to make matters worse, his prize-agent, to whom he had entrusted the management of all the money he did earn, suddenly folds, taking all the money and running. Jack's money is just gone, with no recourse. So now Jack, according to the law of the time, is subject to arrest and imprisonment until and unless he can pay off the entire debt.

Which he can't. So he has to go into hiding. And Mrs. Williams decides that as he is in her eyes a common criminal she no longer wants him to court her daughter, so contact with Sophia is cut off, which makes them both miserable.

But Stephen has a Spanish passport. So he takes Jack across to France with him. They visit Christy-Palliere, the French ship captain who captured the Sophie in the previous book. He is delighted to see them-- so delighted that he embraces Jack and kisses him soundly on both cheeks, which makes Jack blush enormously.

And then war breaks out again. Napoleon has all British citizens in France arrested. Jack and Stephen must flee, lest they rot in a French prison for the duration of however long this round of wars lasts.

Whew that's enough plot isn't it? Oh no. There's so much more. I'll divide here. Stay tuned for Part Two, in which the bear thing will be explained, oh yes.

[roseverdict]

Writing Commissions Open!

Hey howdy hey, guess who's broke and whose brain has latched on to the idea of getting a bike or a trike to get places other than the one (1) coffee shop in walking distance!

YEP. I need to open commissions.

However, I do have at least one thing going for me- I'm told I'm fairly good at writing things! Fanfic things, at least. While I'm not dumb enough to outright go "hey, pay me to write fanfiction," I figure I can at least point out some fanfics I've written that seem to have gone over well as examples of my work, since that's most of what I've got for proof of my skills.

x x

x

x x x

x x

x x

I'd show more, but Tumblr won't let me add more images, and even these fought me Tooth And Nail when I was trying to format them properly. Truly a functioning website.

Hopefully these kind of give an idea of the vibes I'm strongest with, too. Pricing and rules will be under the cut. I do have a target I'm trying to reach here, but depending on how well this goes, I might end up keeping commissions open indefinitely. We'll see. :D

DM me if you're interested!

Things I'm Comfortable Writing:

Original Storylines (Brief primer on the world/characters I'll be writing with will be required)

Things like the pieces shown on my AO3 account

OCs

Y/N-style pieces (both with and without the actual usage of "Y/N")

Mild Romance

Gore/Severe Injury

Body Horror

Whump

Look, if it's in the Danny Phantom phandom and basically nowhere else, I'm probably just fine writing it, despite its intensity xD

Things I Will Not Write:

Smut. There's no shame in enjoying it, I just. Don't.

Incest. Absolutely NONE. Even leaving aside the whole debate about whether or not people should ship incest ships, I would not be able to enjoy writing it, which would make the resulting work of low quality, which would be a huge waste of time for everyone involved.

Pedophilia- specifically, ships with a minor and an adult multiple years their senior. See above. 17yo x 18yo is pushing it, but depending on the circumstances, I might allow it. They aren't exactly in completely different phases of life there. However, I'm in my 20s and don't particularly want to think about or write about kids the age of my youngest brother dating people my age or older, you feel me?

Bigotry presented to the reader as a positive thing. I'm not gonna write your favorite heroic character declaring OOC that minorities are terrible people. If you want something from the POV of a character meant to be terrible, such as someone like Fire Lord Ozai in AtLA, however, I may be willing to write it.

I reserve the right to refuse any commission and not have to explain why. Person-to-person, though, this will likely only come up if someone tries to commission something that crosses these lines and refuses to acknowledge such.

Payment: 5¢ USD per word. This works out to…

$12.50 for 250 words

$25 for 500 words

$50 for 1K words

and so on.

I'll need half the payment up front as a deposit, then the rest upon completion. If, for whatever reason, I fail to write the commission, you will be refunded in full.

If you pay me for a given number of words, I will do my best to stick to it. I will make sure you at least get your money's worth, but if I just can't quite fit the writing into the given limit, I won't charge you for the extra words. Call it 100 words or so of wiggle room.

A commission for a fic 1K or larger that runs 100 words or less over the intended length will not cost extra

A commission for a fic between 500 and 999 words that runs 50 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic 499 words or below that runs 25 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic that has enough going on to run over that limit will result in me contacting you to ask for either a scaled-down plot or payment for the extra writing.

I will not consider calling a commission complete until I can hit the target wordcount at minimum.

If it should happen that I just can't make a scene stretch to the full wordcount, but you still want to keep what is written, the words that were not written will be refunded.

[tortoisesshells]

do you have any favorite headcanons about Burke you'd wanna share? :3c

I don't think I've gone very far off the beaten path; he's got a well-established past (well. maybe not the last five years.) in-show that works, I think? There's not a lot of gaps that need filling in - this is more like some light embroidery on information that's already in the show? Also - I think he's really interesting as a character that others react to - that forces other characters to adjust, or to reveal something to the audience about themselves in how they react to him - that Joe Haskell, who hates Burke's guts, can still draw a straight line in between what happened with Roger, Burke, and Laura and what's happening with Burke, him, and Carolyn now? Or that he and Vicki are in no small ways mirrors of each other - Vicki representing his past as a poor kid working for the Collinses; Burke representing a bad possible future for her of what happens when the Collinses throw someone under the bus to protect themselves? If that makes sense? But! In order of most-to-least textually supported!

He dropped out in high school: he reminds Bill Malloy that he (Bill) paid him a man's wages working for him when he was just a boy, but later mentions physics class. Given his father abandoned the family when he was nine, and Burke doesn't mention his mother ever (I know there's a cut line of dialogue that says she worked in the cannery, but.), or any siblings, or close relatives, I tend to assume he did it for money? Besides. He's a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Collinsport: he was always going to end up working for the Collinses one way or another. Senior year English wasn't going to change that.

He's not touchy about doing what he had to to survive and get ahead as a teenager, but he's nowhere near as educated as most people he's socializing with now, and that is a sore spot with him - buying and bullying only gets someone so far, I think. He may be richer than the Collinses but it's a little hard to buy respect or belonging outright.

There's cut dialogue (I can't remember which episode, maybe @widowshill does) that implies at least one of the times he ran away from home as a kid was because his mother died - the dialogue itself doesn't quite square with what he says about when his dad walked out on "us", but I buy it in broad strokes - Burke talks mostly fondly about recreational fishing with his father, but even so, his dad beat the hell out of him at least once. On the whole, and I don't think I'm going out on a limb here, I think he had a much better relationship with his mother - while she was alive.

(I think, too, that's backed up by his past good relationship with the Evanses? Maggie says he was always around when she was younger; Sam says he was so used to him being around that if they didn't see him for a few days he'd send Maggie to look for him? The implication being there wasn't much keeping him at home.)

(Which makes the revelation that it was *Sam* whose testimony was the clincher devastating. Absolutely maddening to me that they dropped that in one scene and it never got revisited. but that's not a headcanon.)

Absolutely hilarious to me that apparently everyone but him seems to think that David's his son, not Roger's. I go back and forth on whether I think David is, biologically, his - on the one hand, it makes everything worse for Burke - that he's become an absent father just like his; on the other hand, it makes it a matter of biological determination that he and David get along like a house on fire, and not that Burke's one of the few people who treat David like a person and not The Last Heir To The Collins Line or a whipping boy?

speaking of David: I tend to read what happened ten years ago less as a love triangle and more as he, Roger, and Laura were all involved simultaneously.

Lastly, and strictly because it amuses the hell out of me, not because I think it's remotely likely: as far as I can tell, Burke's never been an amazingly popular first name for men, and certainly didn't crack the top 200 names in the 1920s or 1930s. Either it's a family name - his mother's maiden name, maybe? - or, I argue, his parents were weird about 18th century English political philosophers: his full name is Edmund Burke Devlin, he'll just never admit it. not even Laura or Roger know.

Thank you for the ask! I'm not sure what it is about my brain, but the minute this hit my inbox I suddenly had never thought about Burke at all. ever. head empty.

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Season 1, Ep 4 Review

Spoilers below the cut! I have a lot of thoughts on this one so it's a bit long.

This is a slower episode, but I expected it to be. I worry that people will find this episode boring because there's not as much action or comedy as some of the other episodes, and what is here tends to be a lot more subtle, but this is honestly one of THE most important episodes of early Dungeon Meshi.

The pacing of this episode was great, Trigger allowed themselves to slow down and take the material more seriously when it was needed, and I really appreciate that.

Senshi and his connection to the dungeon, as always, makes me want to cry. Kui's focus on respect for the people who do the thankless, denigrated jobs in society like picking vegetables, cooking, and cleaning toilets always gets to me.

Senshi expressing the importance of being part of the ecosystem of the dungeon, and the balance of the world, protecting people not by killing monsters but by keeping the environment in check is so important to the core of Dungeon Meshi.

That, plus the sequence where Senshi refuses using magic to light a fire, instead wanting to do it by hand is also important. Later we'll get to see how magic can excel at some things that can't be done any other way, but for now it's time to focus on Senshi.

The way the party interacts with Senshi in this episode always makes me think of elderly people in Japan who are carrying on doing things the way it's always been done, even if the young people don't appreciate it or even know that they're doing it. The generational gap is a big issue in Japan, since there's so few young people and so many seniors…

It especially makes me think of the senior citizens that volunteered to go clean up the Fukushima nuclear disaster because they didn't want young people with their whole lives ahead of them to have to do it. I remember there was also an old man that took it upon himself to take care of the animals that had been left behind in the exclusion zone, Senshi's story reminds me a lot of him.

THE ANIMATION

The animation wasn't particularly exciting, but for the most part did what it needed to do. The only quibbles I have are minor ones:

There's a black-haired elf in the background of the tavern scene that had darker skin in the manga, and they made her lighter here. She's a recurring background character so I'm not super happy that they changed her skintone, since Dungeon Meshi goes out of it's way to include people of varied skin tones in crowd scenes, but I get that it was probably just to make the composition work. It still sucks though.

Most of the orcs look fine, but there were a pair of lady orcs that had purple-ish and green-ish fur that I thought looked a bit unnatural, compared to the earth tones of all the other orcs. I know Kui leans away from the unnatural skin tones thing (no blue elves, no green orcs) so I wasn't a fan of this, but it was subtle enough that I can forgive it.

I could tell the animators didn't really understand how the nose/snout/jaw situation of the orcs works, and as a result they were animating the orcs like normal human anime faces with a weird blob in the middle for a nose, instead of upturned noses that are part of a snout/mandible that effects the way the face works.

Obviously the animators are more familiar with how to draw standard human faces, and they had to cut costs on this episode by keeping the animation simple, but I didn't like how flat it all looked. Kui's solid construction (from later in the manga) is really missed here.

DUB vs SUB

The subtitles were passable, though at one point they called the dungeon lord the "lunatic magician" which gave me Yen Press war flashbacks. Thankfully the dub didn't do the same thing. Honestly I wouldn't even mind if they switch up what people call the dungeon lord anyway, since it's not like "mad magician" or "mad sorcerer" is a name or title. One of the things I've always hated about "Lunatic Magician" is the way it was used constantly, even in situations where it felt unnaturally stilted, like they had a brand trademark to maintain. The Lunatic Magician™! Now with 50% more lunacy!

As for the dub… The performances were all fine, and there weren't any glaring out of place modernisms, however I'm on the fence about what they decided to do with the orc leader, Zon.

Race and the clash between different groups is a major part of Dungeon Meshi, and this is the chapter that introduces the idea that the orcs are people and not subhuman monsters. It also introduces the idea that the orcs are a displaced ethnic group that lives in the dungeon because other races have chased them from the surface.

Imari Williams does a great job with his performance as Zon, and I appreciate that BangZoom got a person of color to play a character that's meant to be a minority. I hope that they'll continue this trend and that his sister Leed will also be voiced by a person of color, and that she'll speak in a dialect that matches Zon's.

HOWEVER… while Williams' performance is great, I'm not sure how I feel about the script.

Zon and the other orcs' dialog in the dub sounds like it's either borrowing from African American Vernacular English (AAVE), or it is broken English "caveman-speak" that orcs often use in other media.

I'm not familiar enough with AAVE to know if they're using it correctly, only familiar enough to identify that they are using some of the grammatical structures of it. The fact that they hired a black voice actor to deliver those lines makes me think it was an intentional choice.

I'd love to hear opinions from people who are more familiar with the subject. Are the orcs speaking broken English or are they following the grammatical rules of AAVE? How consistent is BangZoom's script in following those grammar rules?

In the original Japanese and in the manga, as far as I can tell the orcs just speak Japanese the same way as all the other characters, so there is no verbal signal of their cultural difference. This is important because this part of the story is all about telling us that the orcs are equal to the other characters.

So choosing to alter the way they speak for the dub is a creative choice that is attempting to communicate something to the English audience, though I am not sure if BangZoom is doing it effectively, or if they are communicating what they intend to communicate.

I do think that it's an interesting choice that they made, I wasn't expecting them to do it, and so I hope they're doing it deliberately, carefully and with sensitivity.

I wonder what kind of accents, if any, the orcs may have been given in other language dubs? If you listened to a different dub let me know! (Also, next week we get to see regular-sized Kabru instead of just Giant Kabru, I'm so excited.)

[jess-moloney]

My theory on what happened at YSL 2023.

Keep in mind I can't prove any of this it just seems like a very likely thing that could have happened.

I think most people remember the weird thing with J2Studios. Where Jamie mentioned them in one post and Jess mentioned them in one post and it never came up again. This J2Studio was also specifically credited for photos of Jamie during the YSL event in 2023.

What I think potentially could have happened here is this:

Jess was on her high horse with this idea that she was going to start some studio with Jamie. Maybe she had him convinced of it as well, obviously, she must have, as he did agree to credit these photos with that tag but only that one time. I don't know how serious he was (or maybe he just believed, at the time, that she was a better business runner than she actually is) but he was at least going along with it enough.

Now, even though Jess acts like she's some big fashion business guru and talks like she is, she's not. She's a nobody, especially at a show like YSL. However, because Jamie was invited and she somehow got to go with him (I don't know if she got an invite herself or he brought her and he wasn't supposed to) none of that really matters.

I believe when she was at that show she was so in the mindset of co-owning this studio with Jamie and making it big and making a profit she was probably insufferable the entire night. She probably tried to network with people who didn't care to talk to her. She probably made herself out to be something she entirely wasn't. She probably saw dollar signs and investment opportunities and a way to exploit Jamie like she never had.

I guarantee she tried to talk to people there who didn't want to talk to her. I guarantee she tried to talk to people who had no idea who she was. I guarantee she was trying to make friends with people and annoying people who really wanted nothing to do with her because she's a nobody other than being Jamie's girlfriend so why would they want to listen to her? You can kind of tell by how he has her hand grabbed and keeps pulling her with him (or in one shot has her blocked behind him) he was trying to keep her from doing something.

On top of that, we will all remember that she did go with him to the YSL show the year before. People could have remembered her and if she was acting like a diva the year before (which she probably was with how she was walking shoulder to shoulder with Jamie and hogging all of his photo ops) people probably were annoyed with that too.

Then you have to tack on the fact that she probably has some level of industry reputation. People may not know her face or who she is but they may know her name like her association with Westwood. I can't prove that she was fired but I'm guessing that's what happened since she never worked for any fashion company ever again and went into being a talent manager for models/actors.

Do you think if she left amicably from Westwood she'd have also had to change career paths entirely? She was their senior press officer. Why didn't she go on to be a press officer for another fashion company? Something clearly happened there. I mean she literally never worked for any fashion brand ever again after that, and no, ice studios doesn't count because it's barely anything.

On top of that, there are a bunch of people who could be in certain circles within a YSL audience that could know that she was hooking up with Liam after his breakup or any number of things we don't know because she's in these circles. Just because people may know of her or know her name doesn't mean she's not still a nobody (or a person none of them want to associate with).

I think that she was at some all-time high with this J2Studios thing and thought she was about to make it big and showed her true colours at this event and that's when it all came crashing down. That's my best guess at least.

I don't know why she thought any of this would work when she already had Ice Studios she was supposed to be running or how she thought she was supposed to handle J2Studios, Ice, and her own management company (when they were already sinking) but I'd bet money she thought that J2Studios was the thing that was going to make her super duper famous and Jamie finally figured out what was going on.

[mrspark7777777]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrspark7777777/730435580873342976/httpstwittercomdailyjmthvstatus1709569065394?source=share

really anon??

i'm sorry but as an army and a fearnot, pls shut the actual fck up

they're under the same label (hybe)

he commented laughing under a tiktok of her viral moment (https://x.com/elsserafim/status/1692180175516291286?s=20) where she messed up her speaking part during their song 'fire in the belly', MANY other idols have made fun of it or referenced it, in fact most of south korea has as well, it's a meme at this point, which we know jk loves to make fun and reference things (jimin, g dragon, namjoon, basically all of bts lol, k dramas, ect)

he's a fan of music in general and likes gg songs. also boy is basically a tokki (new jeans fan) and would not surprise me if he was a fearnot (le sserafim fan), he played fearless (their debut single) in his camping vlog, he was asked to sing antifragile many times (including by namjoon, who also seems to be a fan of them)

bts as a whole have been nice and supportive of their juniors (as they did not really have seniors in the company or industry to do that for them), namjoon, hobi, tae, jimin, and jk have all either done a dance or sang a song from new jeans and/or le sserafim

le sserafim is filled with ARMY, most if not all of them have mentioned bts as someone to look up to/that they like, kazuha is fan of jimin and inspired by him as she is a former ballet dancer, yunjin was literally on army twt (https://x.com/saxophonist95/status/1651896094442373120?s=20), doing army selca day and very much a tae bias, they (like the rest of hybe lol) did the 'run bts' dance challenge, did tiktoks with hobi, jimin, and yoongi, one of my favorite interactions was when sakura and kazuha were asking jimin if he'd do a tiktok with them for 'unforgiven' (where he was the sweetest shy baby 🥺, giving older brother/grandpa energy 😭), yunjin and chaewon even sang part of 3D recently on a wv live (the "body to body" part) (https://x.com/Jungkook_SNS/status/1708553475356029022?s=20)

he commented under JIM BEAM's ACCOUNT, not le sserafim's or chaewon's personal account (like instagram or wv) about the SUGAR CONTENT OF THE DRINK, a question to the DRINK COMPANY. chaewon is just a new model for their highball drink ad, which we know jk likes to drink, including during his recent wv live and on suchwita, he's been dieting to the point he's not eating all day, drinking on an empty stomach, and getting fcking ivs for energy, all while he can't sleep (this boy worries me 😞😞)

gg stans love to fcking over exaggerate things, making jk out to be a pervert and p*do (even when chaewon is 23) bc of the bs people have been spreading about him towards women, to the point k antis are trying to get 3D (even the clean version) age restricted on k charts and get his 3D performance canceled

most of the people being weird about jk were not even fearnots (a lot of army also stan or casually like le sserafim), but unfortunately part of the fandom are also blinks, exols, or other kpop groups stans who don't really care about bts/jk and will do or say ANYTHING to make him look bad bc they're bts antis

jk literally said he does not have a girlfriend or feel the need for one, stop implying he's lying bc you're being weird or insecure about him interacting with something where a woman is present

let opposite sex idols be fcking friends, anytime male and female idols interact y'all make sh*t weird, most if not all of bts have female friends but for some reason (heteronormativity and homophobia) y'all can never be normal and just let them be friends. it happens all the time, especially with namjoon and jk. joon is nice to megan the stallion > he wants to fck her and y'all make him have a fetish with black women/people (people do this with jimin too...), joon is nice to halsey > he wants to fck her/is flirting, joon hangs out with so yoon (the girl he did smoke sprite with) > they're dating (even if there is a very likely chance she's gay/queer), joon attends somi's listening party (like jitb for hobi) > they're dating or he's trying to fck her

it's gets even weirder with jk bc since he was a MINOR people have been sexualizing him, he's thrown into the most bs dating rumors bc he sat near or looked at a woman (hell he doesn't even need to interact with them and psychos connect random sh*t as "proof"), plus i've seen/heard jk say/do things 1,000 times more sus with jimin, but y'all are going to look past that bc it's a woman jk's interacting with... most people (including me lol) don't think mingyu and jk are dating (outside of the jokes the fandom loves to make about anyone jk interacts with, except jimin) when they're out here hanging out together, getting drunk and looking at eo starry eyed while giggling on wv live, wearing matching outfits, jk was liking a shirtless tiktok of mingyu, they were in busan together, jk using mingyu's wv account to comment on one of their other friends' wv live, and many other things that were more sus. also that one time jk slapped his idol friend's butt at an award show and a fan (of that idol) started accusing jk of sa and bh had to sue

also tiktok algorithm is a thing, we know jk follows all hybe groups (including le sserafim), he likes memes and funny videos, he likes alcohol (especially highball), so it's not that far off to say that it might just have showed up on his feed (like i'll call out a solo on twt/x and suddenly my 'for you' section is filled with fcking pjms or jjks 😞, and i then have to spend a couple minutes blocking and clearing my tl), and not necessarily him looking it up bc he wants to fck her or is an obsessed fan (saw some chaewon solos and fearnots (including some big fan accounts 😐) say he's chaewon biased which might have led to kpop stans losing their sh*t)

also i found out chaewon fans (gg stans in general) have a tendency to be overprotective (some guy gave her a rose as part of a scripted thing on a variety show (i think??) which chaewon knew about and agreed to do and they (fans) lost it and threatened the guy to the point he came out and said he's no longer going to interact with female idols), and sometimes i get it bc south korea isn't the best place for women and even less in the idol industry (especially with the amount of grown ass male stans of ggs), like even when le sserafim on this variety show where one of the hosts has a reputation of messing with young female japanese idols (member of twice i think?) and he was making weird comments towards kazuha (she was 19 and is japanese) and every corner of kpop stan twt (including army) were upset and protecting her

pls let just jk interact with people (especially women 😞) without assuming he's fcking them, go outside and make friends (even of the opposite sex), and deal with your sex deprived bs elsewhere anon!

if y'all (kpop stans/weirdos) ruin my sseratan interactions istg....

i need eunchae and jk to interact badly bc that basically his daughter/twin (https://x.com/vyunmiin/status/1609513373414326272?s=20) (https://x.com/jjksamore/status/1610615833754992641?s=20), also i need to see yunjin around her bias (tae 🥺😭)

Damn. Anon came prepared. I don't think I need to add anything else. Anon, please accept this heart. Good job

[matan4il]

911 ep 708 first watch reactions

Oh, poor Bobby.

Seeing him at that AA meeting, his past failures that made him wanna take his own life rubbed back in his face with the intention to hurt, was painful. Especially because you realize Amir would not be saying anything, unless he realized at that meeting that Bobby is the kind of good guy that can be hurt by hearing about the consequences to other people of his own actions. If Amir had gotten the idea that Bobby is the kind of cold-hearted bastard who did not care and could "just walk away," then his whole little speech would have been pointless, and another path for revenge would have been needed instead.

But to see little Bobby, so happy and proud when it came to his dad the firefighter captain, realizing he must have wanted to be just like his hero all these years, really brings into focus how much he must have felt like an even greater failure in his own mind, no matter how many good things he did, how many people he saved, how often he was willing to sacrifice his life to save others', and how hard he's worked to fix the faults that caused this tragedy in the first place. And not just since the fire that killed 148 people, but from the very moment that his drunk dad started gaslighting him, as if the senior (supposedly heroic) Captain Nash's sins were the fault of his son.

"I never counted the survivors."

Why does this show keep hurting me by striking in the places closest to home. :( My grandparents were all Holocaust survivors, and yeah, I know firsthand that survivors are victims, as well as sometimes their family members, too. I'm a third generation, and I know exactly where the Holocaust has scarred my grandparents, my parents and me. I know what the Nazis and their collaborators did, does not stop in May of 1945, and is not close to over in May of 2024. Grief, pain and loss can be like that stone thrown into the water, where the circles that come out of it may extend far beyond the initial point of impact.

What Athena said to Bobby about how it needed to matter to him that he's a different person now than he was back then is so incredibly important. It was a good ep, but at the end of the day, most of us don't get to heal by saving people's lives. We find what we can fix and we do, we choose to be kind with others, we eventually learn that the measure of compassion and mercy we show to ourselves also matters, and we try to find the right balance between all of these things. That last part is probably the hardest. But that's the real work of life, and that one I think is true for all of us, no matter what our circumstances might be.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[pennyserenade]

Last Line Challenge

tagged by: @rivnedell (thank you!)

rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there words (or as many as you like).

here is a snippet from a fic i'm writing about chris (from free fire)

There was a thin scar on her kneecap, near the middle where the bone protruded when she sat. Somewhere–in past publications and museums, in scrapbooks and freshly-printed history books–the scar is being newly formed: she is twenty-two, attending her senior year of college, and nothing makes more sense to her than standing up for other people. There is a handmade sign in her hand, uncomplicated in both its design–white board, black lettering–and its demand (PEACE IN VIETNAM). Her youthful face is twisted in pain, her fingers folding the edges of her sign in agony as one knee touches the cement. If the camera had shuttered one second later, you would watch as the other gave way too, and you would see her mouth open wide to let out a scream that would be only masked in the unison of other screams. She is not front in center, but near the middle of the sea of people her age, only captured in the photograph because of the chance way the bodies moved in that precise moment. Behind her is a crowd of soldiers no older than her, who would claim they did not strike first. They will accuse a dusty blond boy who died a week later from injuries he sustained during this photograph. This happened at a college campus she thought she would love forever. Now the degree she got there collected dust in a drawer, and she spent most of her time doing dirty work.

tagging: @whatsnewalycat, @alwaysbethewest, @theredviper. @burt-reynolds, and whoever else wants to do this