#and I'm often...put off by a lot of what I've found so far

[bruh-myguy-what]

Lovestruck

Pairing: Tech x Fem!Reader Requested by: @baddest-batchers Warnings: Massive fluff, I think I actually cried writing this?, I've not been handling the season finale well because I miss Tech a considerable amount, pining for reader from Tech's perspective, a lot of adorable emotions from our usually pragmatic boy Word Count: 2K Summary: While fixing the Marauder with you, Tech reflects on his feelings and he's completely enamored by you. A/N: I'm not handling Tech's death well. Whether it's his death or his just being CX-2, I don't really care, I miss him so desperately and this fic healed so many parts of my heart even though I actually wept while writing. I love that you requested this, friend! I hope it's exactly what you were looking for (or at least close!) and I absolutely agree, this was indeed a Tech prompt. All of these requests have been so wonderful and I cannot express how much it means that people like my writing enough to send in requests! Thanks guys!

Requests are open if you have anything you'd like to send in!

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It was an ordinary affair for you and Tech to work on the repairs for the Marauder simultaneously. There were consistent restorations that needed to be made and things to be updated, so having another experienced individual helped jog said matters along. Though the clone was hesitant at first, after months of rapport building, he was grateful.

Not only was he finding himself appreciative for the extra set of hands, but Tech discovered that he was quite enjoying your company. You were clever, agreeable, and understanding, along with that you seemed to always find his endless wealth of knowledge pleasant. The accurate way you managed the repairs of his ship, first by managing his hesitancy well and then demonstrating consideration for his methods before ever handling something he cared so much about, really surprised him. Your approach to his usually off-putting demeanor was a welcomed change in his life and the way you subtly encouraged him appeared to warm his heart in a way he hadn't previously encountered.

He'd found that his eyes lingered on you from afar longer than he realized, only noticing that he'd been staring when you'd look over and smile at him sweetly. The light in your eyes, whenever you'd smile at him, twinkled so effortlessly, almost as if there had been stars placed directly behind them solely to enchant him.

It was as if you were another creature entirely, one he'd never analyzed, one he knew nothing about- because everything you did fascinated him. All the ways in which you carried yourself, laughed with his brothers, tended to Omega, your wit, the charm you retained...it all was remarkable to him. He began to notice himself craving your attention. Tech dreamed of you laughing for him, smiling at him, every moment he was awake you invaded his thoughts.

So to have you crouched down beneath the hull of the Marauder, handing him parts and tools for repairs made him impossibly delighted. This was a life he could get used to, for a long time. The ability to bond with you- and only you- in this way for the rest of his short life, he would fight for it, no matter the threat. If this was what life could be for him after he and his brothers no longer needed to fight, he would be far and beyond content. He'd feel whole.

"The spanner now, please," Tech's smooth tone echoed back to him from off the metal hull.

Taking a moment to grab the tool, you placed it squarely in his hand, "Of course." Your voice was sweet as ever to his ears, the sensation of your fingers grazing his gloved palm sending tides of bliss to his heart. How he desired to remove his gloves to truly discern how your hand might feel in his. Odd thought, he knew, though nevertheless one he often had run through his mind. Other equivalent ones situated themselves among his standard reflections; such as how your cheeks might feel cradled in his palm, or how your eyes might sparkle even more at his displays of affection toward you.

These introspective ideas were not ones he had been programmed with, he understood that very well, but then again wasn't that the whole point of him and his brothers? They weren't droids. Even with protocol and planned executions, wasn't the beautiful part of having your own identity the potential for...emotion? Sentiments?

Love?

The brilliant clone pondered these notions for many hours during hyperspace travels, staring endlessly into the streaking atmosphere while everyone else lay in their bunks asleep. Upon his further analysis and pensive state, he conceded that he did, indeed, love you. Even though he expected it to never be possible, for him anyhow, it clearly was. And there it was, staring up at him with stunning eyes and an adorable smile- all wrapped up in one woman who waited for further instruction to aid his work.

"Whatcha smiling at, silly?" A giggle brought him out of his reverie and he cleared his throat, handing the spanner back to you while muttering a quick 'my apologies'. "It's no big deal, you know I don't mind," another soft chuckle at his sudden behavior change. "Just curious what has you in such a good mood lately. You never smile this much- not that I'm complaining, of course. You look happy and I like that, it suits you." The smile he watched spread across your lips brightened your eyes so preciously that Tech felt as if his heart were going to lock up. You were absolutely breathtaking in the setting sunlight, the warm glow radiating your beauty.

It wasn't too long after your comment that he acknowledged he'd been staring once again. Tech blinked a few times, regaining his composure- sure to remember the planet's rotation cycle so he could bring you out into the setting sun one more time before leaving so he could truly memorize the way you looked in such a spectacular site. "I suppose it would be an alarming circumstance to see my sudden change in attitude if you are accustomed to my rather pragmatic and steadfast manner." He spoke slowly, trying to gauge his words carefully, looking back up at the repairs he was currently working on.

To say he was usually practical was an understatement and even he knew that, but he continued nevertheless- "Screwdriver, please."

A quick hum in reply from you and the tool was now in his hand, his heart buzzing at your lingering touch, making certain he had hold of the screwdriver before pulling away. "Though," Tech found himself speaking before he realized, hesitating after the word left his mouth.

Should he continue? Would you be uneasy at any admission of his affection, or even just simple favor, toward you?

He found himself suddenly apprehensive at the possibility that he could ruin the favorable conditions he'd found for himself with you. But with your reassuring voice, you spoke his worrying thoughts away, "though, what? Got too many thoughts running around that extraordinary mind of yours to just pick one?" The pleasantness in your prodding had a warm smile of his own spreading across his lips now while he worked against a stubborn bolt.

"Only a few at this very moment, so it would appear, mesh'la." Tech's reply was soft, soft enough that he thought only he'd heard himself until you stood beside him now. He glanced to see your head tilted with ever lovely, inquisitive eyes prompting him to continue his outspoken thought. Realigning his eyes to the bolt, Tech licked his lips anxiously, "Ah, I must have spoken aloud without realizing." He clarified softly, a burning sensation rising to his cheeks.

"Well now you gotta continue," you teased with a smile, "It's not every day that your genius mind only has a few thoughts in it to speak of."

Tech knew he was skating near a precarious edge, but the more you gazed at him expectantly, the less he cared and only desired for you to continue your total obliteration of his typical sensible behaviors. Taking a deep breath, the enhanced clone steadied himself before expressing, "At present, I have found that my foremost thoughts are exclusively about you. During the maturing of our relationship these last few months, it would seem that less and less of my thoughts are as constructive as they had been prior to our closeness, as troubling as that may sound." At your silence, Tech chanced lowering his arms to stand before you unimpeded by work, attention entirely yours.

The rise of your brows and the slight part in your lips made his heart thud painfully against his chest. Though, he noticed the sparkle in your eyes hadn't dissipated, perhaps he wasn't ruining anything as he thought he had been. "I am mindful that it may come across as peculiar, or eccentric, for me to have said that," Tech began cautiously, calculating your evolving expression. "Nevertheless, it is the truth. I...find you to be the most compelling woman that I have personally had the fortune of knowing. You are quite literally the only part of my life that I find myself frequently enchanted by." As he spoke, Tech found it easier to alleviate himself of the mountain of praises he'd been repeatedly considering when in your presence. He discovered he could continue voicing your worth, just as he could gaze at your beautiful face for an indefinable amount of time if only you'd allow him.

In the face of your silence, Tech cleared his throat once again to calm himself of his growing concern. "Though I'm aware of my capacity to express thoughts without stopping, I must say that your added input on this matter would prevent the inclination of my elevating heart rate."

"Tech..." The way his name left your lips did the contrary of what he had just requested, scrambling his heart rate instead. Tenderness touched the curve of your lips as you stepped forward close to him, directly into the space he usually reserved for only himself until he saw how much more exquisite you were when he had the opportunity to look down at you. This close he could see every mark, every small scar, the way the color of your eyes shifted as they glanced back and forth around his face.

"Stars," he breathed, "you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, mesh'la..." Tech muttered to himself in wonderment. As if no barrier had ever existed between you, Tech reached out to caress your face, marveling at how you reacted by pressing your cheek further into his touch. "If you were to provide me the honor of showing you my devotion, I would be certain to surpass any expectations you may put forth." Spellbound by the intimacy he'd found himself in with you, Tech longed for more. He yearned to feel the softness of your cheek on his skin, not through his filthy gloves. The way you deserved to be admired was wholly and profoundly, without any impediments. As his eyes danced between yours and the way your smile began to fade, Tech brushed his thumb along your cheek, cursing his GAR regulation blacks. You'd hardly said a word other than the sweet whisper of his name before you approached him, and even if this instance was all he'd ever receive from you, he'd relive the memory a hundred times over. Though he worried he'd said too much again.

Or maybe you were as entranced as he was, presently. "My dear, I don't mean to ruin this moment, however, I-" and before he could finish speaking you'd surged upward toward him, pressing your lips against his.

Astonishment rushed through the normally sharp clone as he felt the weight of your body pressed against his chest plate. After only a moment, though, Tech reacted- refusing to squander his opportunity to kiss you as he had dreamt many times over.

Wrapping his arms around your smaller figure, one hand came to rest between your shoulders and the other cradled your head affectionately, holding you as close as he could possibly have you. The plush of your lips brushed so flawlessly against his as he admired the softness they possessed. Tech knew upon impact that he would never tire of this, of the ability to hold you as he was, nor his newfound gift to kiss you.

You pulled away all too soon for his liking, the sigh escaping his lips sounding as pathetic to him as he was sure it sounded to you. Your smile was even more gorgeous than he'd seen it yet, though he was sure it was due to the recent discovery of just how incredible your smile tasted against his lips. Tech debated whether he should move at all for fear of you slipping away even sooner, but relented to adjust his goggles, matching your smile. "I believe that is a sufficient response to my yet posed question."

With yet another unpredictable act, you cuddled closer into his space, folding your arms in between your chest and his, and tucked your face into his neck. "I'll be happy to answer any others you may have with the same reply, whenever you need, handsome." You replied with a soft laugh.

Encompassing you once again within his embrace, Tech felt his cheeks warming, noting how the sun had disappeared beneath the horizon and he knew couldn't blame that for his reddened face. His breathy chuckle rumbled against his chest plate, "I shall keep that at the forefront of my thoughts."

[xtreklx]

Low ~ Raphael x reader

One-shot: bayverse Raphael x reader Word count: 3.7k Warnings: cursing, mature themes, and slight NSFW, so this one is rated 18+ (minors DNI, see my masterlist for disclaimer) A/N: holy Toledo this one's a doozy. I've been working on it for a while, and it's def one of my favorite things I've written so far (at least, for now..). loosely based on the song Low by SZA, and lyrics are included in the text where I see fit. also I added color-coded dialogue for funsies. thank you guys for all the love on my stuff, and I hope you enjoy :)

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As a young, blossoming adult, your life so far has been overall steady. It staggers here and there, of course: moving in waves as life often does. But for the most part, it is everlasting mundanity. Your early twenties are supposed to be where it begins to roar; when you obtain the dizzying adrenaline and overwhelming fear of free will. Empty wallets, fleeting romances, broken hearts, anxiety, love, hurt. These emotions are meant to be felt, and life is not lived without them.

So, as life would have it, your steady mundanity was indeed set ablaze in your early twenties, when you fell in love with someone you had originally thought you hated.

Some might call that cliché. But, in actuality, not quite.

You had been friends with the mutant ninja turtles for years, ever since they saved New York City from the infamous Kraang attack of 2016. Your father was a police officer, and you had all met at the post-battle award ceremony and celebration. You and the turtles were 17 at the time, and you saw them repeatedly after that as they continued to work with the NYPD. Over time, you grew to become the friends you were now.

Well, not all of you. From your first encounter with the brawny brother in red, you discovered that he had quite the knack for pushing your buttons. While Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello became some of your closest friends in the world, Raphael did everything he could to block you out. He was argumentative, temperamental, and unpredictable. You two could fight about anything: what kind of toppings to put on pizza, DC vs. Marvel, song or movie choice, even knitting patterns. The two of you were always bickering, always finding some way to make a snide comment or butt heads about something.  You couldn't stand him, and the feeling was very obviously mutual. 

On the topic of heads: flash forward five years later, when it finally came to one. You had been spending a lot more time with your turtle friends after finishing off your online degree program. While you were happy this was the case, the tension between you and Raphael seemed to be growing the more often you were around.

One day, the guys had gone out on their regularly scheduled patrol, with Raph staying behind because of a particularly nasty fight with Leo. You were waiting in the lair for them to return so that you could have your weekly movie night, but you were growing bored, and Master Splinter was nowhere to be found. Thus, you made the difficult decision to go bother Raph as he worked out in the dojo. 

When he saw you approaching his bench, he groaned through a rep, his eyes rolling back into his head. "What do ya want, shortstack?" He grumbled as he continued to bench press his barbell, the veins in his big, green arms flaring with each movement. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed. "Save it, meat head. The more entertaining members of this family are gone, so I'm stuck here with you and nothing else to do. So..." You paused for a moment, watching as a scowl grew on his face while he continued his reps. "Do you want a spot.. or something?"

Raphael let out a breathy laugh as he set the barbell down back onto the stand. "Easy, tiger," He spoke as he sat up on his bench, side-eyeing you. "Even if you could lift this bar, I sure as shit ain't letting ya spot me. You'd purposefully drop it on my head before I could even bat my eyes at ya."

Your arms uncrossed and your hands went to your hips as you took a step closer to the red-masked brute. "Pssh, like I'd ever let you bat your eyes at me. I'd gouge out my own eyeballs before that could happen."

He scoffed up at you as he began to unwrap the bandages on his hands, which had been protecting his calluses from the aggressive texture of the metal bar. "Gee, yer a real charmer, aren't ya?" he questioned sarcastically, slightly under his breath. "Must be why you gotta line of men falling at your feet. Someone's gotta tame the tiger."

The dig at your love life (or rather, lack of one) made your face heat up, and you clenched your fists at your sides, taking another step closer to the brute. After all these years of bickering and insults, you were finally nearing your limit. "God, I try to be civil with you for one single day and you're a total asshole for no reason. What's your damage, Raph?"

Raphael whipped his head to you, the bandages he had just finished unwrapping long forgotten as he tossed them to the floor. He stood up from his bench as he spoke, taking a step towards you. "Ain't that easy. Yer my damage, sweetheart. Always have been, always will be."

"Oh, yeah?" You two stood not even a foot apart, and you were glaring up at him with the most intimidating look you could muster. "And just what exactly is your problem with me?" You could feel your heart rate increasing from the growing tension in the room. The air surrounding you felt like it had been injected with adrenaline, and you felt your temperature rising by the second. "Another easy one," Raph growled, looming over you. "You annoy the shit outta me, and ya never know when to shut yer goddamn mouth."

Your rage was increasing by the second, and by the fumes you felt radiating off of his mutant green form, you could say the same for the turtle in red. You were practically pressed against each other, him with a scowl on his face and you with a fire in your eyes. Your chest puffed up, and the words were out of your mouth before you could have a second thought.

"I bet you'd like to make me, wouldn't ya?"

It was silent after that. After quickly thinking it over, you almost gasped aloud at the implications of your words. The eye contact changed from a heated stare battle to his hazel eyes dominating, searching yours. You had been feeling very confident up until this moment, but that sentence alone caused the confidence to wither away, confusion at yourself taking its place. What the fuck did I just say?

Raphael's snarl had changed into a look of surprise. Confusion. And then back to anger.

With a frustrated grunt, he grabbed your waist and smashed his lips to yours. 

And that was the kerosene to the match that set your young adult life ablaze. 

The kiss was all burning rage, gory passion. It was tongues brushing and teeth clashing and a harsh grip on your waist and an even harsher grip on the tough, scaled skin of his shoulders. It was embers and flames and then the roar of a forest fire.  

You couldn't help the sounds that the kiss drew from deep within your chest. You didn't know how or why, but your soft lips fit oh so perfectly against his rough, scarred ones. Your mouths moved together in a harmonious rhythm despite the chaos, even as he gripped you by your thighs and carried you to his bedroom, as if you had practiced this a hundred times before. It felt like second nature to kiss Raphael, even though this was your first time doing so.

And you hated that you felt that way. 

What followed could, in no universe, be described as love-making. It was desperate and reckless ecstasy, a steaming release of the fury and tension you had been feeling towards one another for all these years. It could be seen in the way your nails clawed at his tough skin, in the way he pounded himself in and out of you, in the way your needy moans synchronized with his low grunts, in the way you clenched ever so tightly around him as he filled you with himself; it was aggressive, rough, almost mean.

You and Raph stilled for a moment after it was all over, breathing heavily and not saying a word, when you suddenly heard commotion coming from the living room. You made eye contact quickly, eyes widened, before scrambling to get dressed and cleaned up. You scurried out of his room and into the hallway, making it look to the returning brothers like you had been merely using the bathroom. And neither one of you spoke of it.

If you see me out in public, you don't know me, keep it silent In the bedroom, I be screamin', but outside, I keep it quiet Keep it on lowski, I'm the lowest of the lowest Wanna see if you can keep it like nobody know shit

The months that followed held similar tales of hidden passion. You and Raph never outright discussed what was transpiring, but assumed the unspoken rule of not mentioning it to his brothers. You continued to hang out with them when you could; on movie nights, you told them that you liked to wait in the lair for them to return from patrol so that you could eat all the popcorn without them. If Raphael stayed back from patrol, you snuck into his room or the dojo with a sarcastic remark and a smug look to annoy him to the point of 'teaching you a lesson'. If one of you was feeling particularly desperate to let off some steam, he would sneak out to your apartment on their nights off, telling his brothers that he was going to go get some air to 'clear his mind'. No matter what time he called or texted, you answered. It was almost like an addiction; you couldn't get enough of each other, and you couldn't deny how the other was able to satisfy you perfectly. 

You know how to reach me every time and it plays in your mind With a rush that feels like we committin' a crime You know where you belong, I'm gon' save you a spot But we can't be outside 'cause the block is too hot And I'm all on your mind...

At first, as stubborn as you both were, you kept up your gig of hating each other, despite the passion you were displaying. Between kisses and within sexual acts, your bickering continued relentlessly. "Wow, ya didn't even wear panties today. Gettin' desperate, are we?" "By the looks of your crotch right now, I don't think I'm the desperate one, dumbass." "Ya better watch yer fuckin' mouth." "Why, Red? Can't handle the heat?" "Oh, I'm boutta show ya heat, sweetheart." 

It was a balancing act, both of you trying not to break face and show the other how much you were enjoying these rendezvous of yours. Pride is a crazy thing, however, and as the situation went on, it began to manifest itself in other ways. 

Raphael was the one to start it, about a month into the endeavor. He couldn't help himself; after a day of arguing with Leo and feeling like a disappointment, he sought you out to release his frustrations. And the way you looked writhing and whining above him (as he munched like his life depended on it) had him feeling real smug. His hazel eyes watched you as he worked, the liquid gold shining with mischief. When he came up for air, his hands still keeping busy, the pride emerged.

"Anyone else make ya feel like this, doll?" He asked, his low voice scraping your ears like gravel, a dark smirk spreading across his face. "Tell me. Can anyone else make ya feel this good?" You had rolled your eyes and scoffed in the moment, but couldn't help the moans that continued to emerge from your mouth at his actions, clenching the sheets beneath you. He saw your bratty behavior and abruptly halted his movement, holding your hips still so that you were trapped. "Answer the damn question, or I'm stoppin'." You squirmed for a moment, whining, but your need had consumed you like a demon. "No!" You yelped. "No one else makes me feel this good, Raph! No one else makes me feel like you do! Please don't stop, please!" You wouldn't have called it begging after the fact, but he most certainly did. 

After that, something shifted. Sure, your sessions were still utilized for tension release, but there was more of a possession between you two than there had been before. The two of you were hanging out more often than you ever had. The bickering lessened, and in its place was validation, need, and your names on each others' lips. The contact grew more tender, and the conversations afterwards were more joke-y and only held friendly fire.

"So... do ya wanna put on that movie you were tellin' me about the other day?" "Wow, you wanna watch a movie with me? You must reallyyyyyyy enjoy spending time with me, Red~" "To be honest, I'm not here for you, I'm just here for the take out I know yer gonna end up orderin' later." "I love this hot n cold thing we have going on here. It's really turning me on." "Yer such a fuckin' goofball."

Between the two of you grew a mutual respect, an understanding, a cooperation: a love.

You found yourself thinking of things you wanted to tell Raph about when he wasn't around, and craving his input when you sought him out for advice. You yearned for the sound of his gruff voice and his blunt choice of words that always made you laugh or eased your mind. He found himself longing for the random questions you asked him or the jokes you'd regularly crack (whether they were funny or not) and the angelic sound of your laughter. Neither of you told the other about these feelings you were having, but they continued to develop on both sides.

Raphael found himself pondering these feelings one day while hitting the bag in the dojo, growing frustrated with himself. You had been in the lair hanging out with his brothers, and he continued his workout routine in the interest of being discreet, but he longed for nothing more than to hang out with you. To just be with you like his brothers were right now.

Of course, a particular brother in blue was bothering him more than normal. Leo was closer to you today than he normally was: giving you long hugs, sitting close to you on the couch, making you laugh with his idiotic jokes. Raph scoffed as he heard your laugh from the living room now, throwing an extra aggressive jab. What did Leo know, anyway? He'd bet that he could make you laugh twice as hard. He stopped, annoyed with himself for being so worked up, and stepped away to grab a towel and some water. 

As he made his way over to the mini fridge to grab a bottle, he was surprised to see you making your way over to him. Normally, on nights like these, he didn't expect anything from you besides your staged bickering until his brothers went to sleep or you went back to your apartment. You had a playful smile on your face as you approached the mini fridge, a message in your eyes that he couldn't quite make out, but goddamn he knew they were trying to say something to him.

"Hey, big guy. Leo sent me to grab some water," you looked up at him as you spoke, the smirk still on your face. And all the hope that Raph had felt in that moment dissipated, like popping a balloon. He scoffed at you, rolling his eyes before grabbing a water bottle and walking away. 

"Wait, woah. What's the matter?" He heard you ask from behind him, confused. He shook his head as he walked. "Nothin's the matter," He spoke slightly under his breath, but you could still hear him. "Why don't ya just go back to Leo? You're all over him, anyway."

He heard your footsteps as you followed him over to his bench. "Hold up, do you have a problem with me hanging out with your brother?" Raph couldn't make eye contact as he turned around to face you, so he looked down at the ground and huffed, eye ridges furrowed.  "Well, ya know me, and I don't like ta share. So if you're gonna hang out with him like that, then go ahead." 

"And just what would you be sharing?" You stood your ground a couple of feet in front of him, arms crossing at your chest and a determined glint in your eye. "Be straight with me, Raph, 'cause it's time we talked about this. What's going on between us?" He let out a grunt, shocked at your sudden confrontation, but still refusing to make eye contact. "Obviously nothin', if yer gonna go hang with Leo like that."

You inhaled, trying to maintain your patience. From the proximity you now held with the turtle in red, you knew you wouldn't get anywhere by fighting back. "Let me rephrase that. What do you want to be going on between us?" Raph moved to turn away from you, huffing again. "I don't know! Geez!" He exclaimed, before you grabbed his large bicep. He faced you, his massive form towering over your frame as you stepped close to him. He finally looked into your eyes, and saw nothing but a genuine question. No teasing, no tormenting, just a silent plead.

"Hey, talk to me, Red. It's just me." You smiled softly, begging eyes searching his liquid gold ones for something, anything, to grab onto and run with. He let you for a moment, before looking down at the ground again, growing more and more frustrated with himself. He took a deep breath, and kept his gaze on the floor as he spoke. 

"...I'm not very good with words, ya know that." He paused for a moment, making quick eye contact with you before looking back to the floor. "But I just... I like how this is goin'. How we're goin'... I like us together. I like bein' with ya, Y/N, and I just wanna do that without any of the other shit. I..." He stopped again, taking another deep breath. "I want to be with ya for real. And I'm sorry if I messed this up and that's not what ya want--" 

"I want that, too, Raph," You cut him off with a rising smile on your face, not being able to wait any longer. "That's all I've been wanting to be honest. I should have mentioned it earlier." Raph returned his eyes up to your face, shock gracing his expression. "Wait, so yer not into Leo?" He questioned, slightly caught off guard. You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful shove. "No dumbass, I'm into you." He watched your smile grow into a beam, silent, before a smile began to grow on his face as well. 

"God, finally," a voice exclaimed before Leo came out from behind the entrance of the dojo, walking up to the two of you. "It took you guys long enough. Even I was getting impatient." "Thanks buddy," you said to him, smiling as you guys bumped fists. Raphael watched the exchange, confused. "Wait... what?" He asked gruffly, eyes flicking between you and his brother. "You knew... about.. us?"

"Dude, we've all known for a while." Mikey shouted from the living room. Donnie walked past the entrance of the dojo and paused, a newly filled cup of coffee in his hand. "Yeah, you guys aren't exactly the most discrete," he said, before continuing his stroll back to his lab. Leo chuckled before turning back to his brother. 

"I was tired of watching you guys sneak around, so I finally confronted Y/N about it last week, and she spilled the beans on how she felt about you. Something told me you felt the same way, call it a brotherly instinct. Or maybe it was all the times you not-so-secretly snuck off to her apartment." He gave his muscly brother a playful punch to the bicep. "So pardon me for playing matchmaker a little bit."

You took a step closer to Raph, hugging yourself around one of his arms and looking up at him through your lashes. "Yeah, I mayyyyyyy have gotten impatient and recruited Leo to help me move things along. That's why we were all cuddly today. But you don't mind, right?" You jokingly pressed him, batting your eyelashes. 

He rolled his eyes at you and scoffed, removing you from his arm, but wrapped his arms around your waist instead of pushing you away. He pulled you from his side to his front, turning you to completely face him and ignoring his older brother present in the room. "Yeah, I guess it's fine or whateva," he fake-sighed, bringing you close to his plastron and leaning in toward you. You, too, leaned in, your arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. 

"Okay, at least wait until I'm out of the room to start sucking face," Leo commented, turning around and booking it out of the dojo. The two of you turned your heads to watch him leave before facing each other again, glowing smiles on your faces. 

"So... I guess I tamed the tiger, huh?" He teased gruffly, nudging his snout into your cheek. You giggled, a mischievous glint reaching your eyes. "Who said anything about tame?" You teased back, playing with the ends of his blood red mask.

"That's my girl," he murmured, before smashing his lips into yours.

[sassydefendorflower]

Holy Server B@tman! Fanfic Rec List 2.0

Hello and welcome back to a very special fanfic rec list! 

The members of the amazing Holy Server B@tman! Server are an extremely talented bunch - many great artists and writers together in one place to foster each other’s creativity and joy to participate in fandom.

That has to be celebrated! 

So, please welcome a list of stories our writers loved to create, their very own Greatest Hits!

(please click on your own discretion - you’ll find the appropriate warnings on ao3)

Fujiwhara Effect by byrambles / @byrambles

Fujiwhara Effect: When two tropical cyclones spinning in the same direction pass so close to each other than they begin spinning around a common center. Or: Dick is NOT a fan of Bruce’s new kid (seriously, WHO brings home a new kid weeks after the old one moves out and then doesn’t even have the courtesy to tell – ). When he gets trapped in Gotham by an East Coast hurricane, though, he has to figure out how to be in the same room as Jason without losing it.

byrambles's words: This was so much fun to write! I think it has a sweet mix of angst and fluff — plus a silly little surprise part-way through!

The Lines that Bond Us by canaf_lilah

Reclusive author Bruce Wayne's most recent book, The Bat Man, was a critical success and a mass market flop. As he struggles to make sense of a sequel, he shocks no one more than himself when he brings home recently orphaned Dick Grayson. Bruce could never have predicted the impact on his life - and his writing - the remarkably resilient young acrobat would have. Batman and Robin may only exist on the pages of Bruce's books, but that doesn't stop them from saving the people they touch.

Lilah's words: to me this is by far the best fic I've ever written. I'm determined to finish it one day, but don't be too put off by the incomplete status! It works well as a standalone.

red like blood (they won't wash clean) by silver_the_phoenix

Tim snaps. It's a lot bloodier than he thought it would be.

Silver's words: I started this one because Tim deserves to go a little feral, as a treat; and I finished it because I'm a simp for Good Brother Jason Todd.

Cared For by 1Zukoneedsafamily2 / @trashcollectshere

Jason smirked as he stood over The Replacement. He stroked the feathers of the splayed-out wings, before he gripped a group of feathers and yanked. Not hard enough to pull out feathers but he wanted him awake when the fun started.

Krys' words: also everyone loves a tower fic right???

Brother, Go Find Your Brother by sleepingcreep (JaySgrech) / @misplacedspleen

Brother, go find your brother: A method of finding something lost by attempting to lose something similar in the same way, in the hopes that it gets lost in the same place and both can be found. “You should match, right?” The grin cracked wider as the lanky captor rolled the knife between their fingers, strolling closer to where Tim was pinned to the wall. Jason didn’t comprehend what the creep meant, too focused on trying to pull his hands against the cuffs in the right way to pop his thumb out of place to get free. There are many years of scars between Jason and Tim before they match.

Jay's words: I'm reccing it because I'm proud of how the settings turned out and I think I wrote a unique take on Jason and Tim's relationship

dirt piling up, putting me to bed by rutaceae / @applejee

Jason never imagined that a simple trip to a bookshop could end with him trapped in the basement of a collapsed building with Tim, but you don't often get what you imagined when you live in Gotham.

Luka's words: i’m quite happy with how contained this little fic is (for me); i always wanted to stab someone, and have someone else panic so bad they don’t realise they’re fucked up themself. fun times!!

Do-Si-Do's Churros & Other Curious Things About Love by sElkieNight60 / @selkienight60

Being a beta in a house full of alpha’s is rough. Especially if you’re trying to be heard.

Selkie's words: I like it because I really enjoy reading Platonic Omegaverse stories, and the Batfamily are so unrepresented here, (I say, in the meaning that I simply crave more of them, there are truthfully quite a few out there, but I just enjoy them so much).

Maui Melon Mint by motleyfam / @motleyfam

In the case of Bats vs. Stomach Bug, there can only be one victor.

Motley's words: I had a ton of fun writing from Damian’s POV for a change and letting Alfred wear his sassy pants

Writer's Cellblock by pinstripedJackalope / @the-ghost-of-jason-todd

Mystery writer and father to five, Bruce Wayne has no great fortunes to fall back on. No reserve of social charisma, no family jewels. He no longer has a butler, though Alfred does his best to visit regularly. He is, in short, not the kind of man who can buy freedom. Heck, he can barely make ends meet some months. So you can understand the… concern… he feels when, late one night, two FBI agents come knocking at his door.

K's words: ngl it was hard to pick a fic, and i would have picked one with more than one chapter but i always did think this one was kind of fun

Golden Silence, Golden Yolks by BabblingBookends / @babblingbookends

Words between Dick and Bruce have never been easy. Dick talks, Bruce doesn’t listen. Bruce talks, Dick is expected to listen. Better if neither of them speak at all.

Babbles' words: If you watch a TV show for long enough, there will inevitably be some character moments in a diner, and I just think that's fun, hence this fic!

keep your head up (it's a cruel world) by lookforanewangle / @lookforanewangle

“If the past is anything to go on, sir,” he says kindly, “this boy will be in your care for a good many lifetimes, and you will do all you can to keep him safe, just like you have with the others.” Or, the Batfam/The Old Guard reverse verse au with Dick's introduction to the world of immortals

Lyss' words: I put a lot of work into this one and while I know reverse verse isn't everyone's cup of tea, I think it works best in this universe in this order, with many surprises yet to come, and room for this universe to grow!

A Promise to Stay by xerzi / @xerziartblog

No one needed Tim Drake, but Tim Drake still needed to be needed. And well, who better to choose than the one person who could never stop needing him? So inherently broken that his job would never be finished. Yet so unfortunately resilient that he would never be left the sole survivor. And so desperate to serve that he would never be betrayed again. In other words, no one else needed Tim Drake, but certainly, he knew there was someone who could make use of his particular skill set. - Tim Drake, 12-year-old independent adult, professional birdwatcher, is offered everything he’s ever wanted…for the low, low price of his verbal agreement. All he has to do is say yes.

Xerzi's words: I just want to put Tim Drake in a jar and try to figure out what's wrong with him…so I put TWO Tim Drakes in the same jar so they can work together to figure out what's wrong with them (and how to fix it)

The End of Man by AuroraKant / @sassydefendorflower

Dick Grayson wasn’t meant to be caged in, but then again… Dick Grayson wasn’t a murderer, and look at him now. (was this what insanity felt like?) Dick Grayson gets captured, forced to shift, and put into a cage - surely, this is the worst that can happen?

Aurora's words: Look... I always wanted to write a deranged Shifter AU in which Dick Grayson goes absolutely mental. What can I say? I love it when my boy is broken and covered in blood <3

Catching Stars and Comets by Faeriekit

From this tumblr prompt: "Reverse Robins AU but instead of making Damian oldest and going down the line so on and so forth, it’s a bunch of assembled weird vigilante-crime men and their accidentally adopted autistic eight year old rich boy, Bruce, who calls himself “batkid” for reasons beyond their mutual understanding of expected kid behavior."

Faeriekit's words: it's been a fun AU to work on, I hope people enjoy it, also it's got kids. It's basically an ageswap!AU where all the batkids are "villains" without Bruce's influence. And it was either this fic or the bees.

cardboard box by A_Canceled_Stamp / @a-canceled-stamp

Robin!Tim is exposed to Ivy's cuddle pollen. For the first time, he reaches out to Bruce for help. How he wishes he hadn't.

Stamp's words: this is my first hurt/no comfort fic and I am very happy with how it turned out! The comments I've gotten on it always make me cackle lmao

a flower called you has bloomed by dottie_dc / @dottie-wan-kenobi

The real problem is that, well. Last time Tim went undercover, he kind of… came home and embarrassed himself. It’s not that he’s shy about being seen in disguise, okay? They can all tease him all they want but it doesn’t bother him. He has way more blackmail on his siblings than they do him, so whatever. It’s just… Caroline Hill is a different story.

Dottie's words: I saw the inspo art and it gave me immediate motivation to write something, which was really fun. I loved writing it and seeing people in the comments be able to relate. queer headcanons my beloved <3

Of The Covenant by Kgraces / @kgraces

Dick Grayson is many things, and foremost among those, he's a detective. He can't stop himself from noticing things about Tim Drake — things that make him question not only his home life but his relationship with Bruce Wayne, too. (Things spiral from there.)

Gracie's words: I’m gonna toss my current longfic your way so hopefully it motivates me to work on it more lmao. It’s a Dick & Tim fic where Dick basically takes a look at all the adults in Tim’s life and goes “is anyone going to take care of this feral, unsupervised child? No? Guess he’s my responsibility now.”

Now and Then by librarylexicon / @librarylexicon

Dick’s spent the past few months recovering from an ordeal he’d rather not think about, so when Bruce asks him to spend quality time with Tim outside of their masks, he instantly agrees. Amid conversations, itineraries, nightmares, photos, revelations and a whole lot of chocolate, he and Tim navigate the Great Ocean Road—and learn more about themselves and each other along the way.

lily's words: Dick and Tim are my favourite Batboys, so I've been wanting to write a fic about them for a long time, because of their long history and close brotherly relationship in the comics. This story is a love letter to their bond, and I'm very pleased with the way all the emotional whump turned out!

How to tape a card castle by Fleur_de_Violette / @fleur-de-violette

Dick saves the new Robin one day. This is it. This is all. It’s not that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with Jason, it’s just that it’s too complicated. He doesn’t know how to deal with being an adult on top of being Nightwing. He can’t deal with Jason, with what Jason represents, on top of it. Except, when a small injury doesn’t heal up the way it’s supposed to, he ends up being the one who needs saving and he’s finally forced to face the new Robin.

Violette's words: This is my longest published fic so far ! I really enjoyed writing it, both the Robin Jason and Dick part and the little case stories in between and I'm happy about how it turned out!

See You At Your Worst by wildsofmarch / @wildsofmarch

Dick has only been a mob enforcer for six months, but delivering a shipment of guns to an up-and-coming crime lord in Gotham should have been easy. All he needs to do is win the man's trust and secure him as a repeat customer. Unfortunately, the Red Hood is not impressed with him.

Wilds' words: I like this one because I go ham with the identity porn!

The Nature of Things by FidotheFinch / @fidothefinch

After a mission gone wrong and a spat with Drake, Robin is benched. Worse than that: Damian is grounded. As serendipity would have it, it gives Damian the opportunity to facilitate the rehabilitation of the manor's new ward, a dog Batman rescued from a fighting ring.

Fido's words: I got to memorialize pieces of my childhood pups in this story, and it was my first fic in the fandom

in vitro by genericlesbian72 / @femmescooter

Shadow-girl did not know much. She didn't need to. But she knew her first kill would be for the baby.

Hedgehog's words: This fic was a challenge to myself on how Cassandra would view her first kill, without words to describe it, while also a take on ‘joining the Batfamily early’ for her that I haven’t seen much before.

this one takes the cake by carol_in_au / @carol-in-au

Jason took a sip from his glass, slowly, synching it with Bruce's words. Bruce cleared his throat, and continued with an authoriative tone that was so not him. "I have something to announce." Bruce Wayne has an announcement to make

Chrys' words: It's fast-paced, has a good comedic timing, a bit of fluff in some moments. When I reread it, I found it pleasant to read and I was quite happy I created it

presumptions by Valkirin / @valkirinii

Batman is away on a long mission with the Justice League when Red Hood attacks Robin in Titans Tower. Red Hood thinks that hurting Robin will get Batman's attention. He doesn't expect Nightwing. Nightwing doesn't know what to expect from Red Hood, Gotham's newest rogue.

Trixie's words: It's one of my favorites that doesn't seem to get as much attention. It's also really fun to let Dick Grayson be angry and intimidating.

Operation Friendship Helmet by goldenraeofsun / @raeofsoleil

When Red Hood meets Dick, he seems almost friendly, compared to the violent hostility he showed Batman and Robin. Maybe, if Dick plays his cards right, he can turn Red Hood from a crime boss to a vigilante. But the closer he gets to Hood, the question nags louder and louder: why does Red Hood seem so familiar?

Rae's words: This is the first time I really dove into my favorite trope, secret identities, complete with a big reveal at the end.

Roadtrip to Nowhere by Ghxst_Bird / @ghost-bxrd

“For the last time, I’m not modifying a car we’ll be ditching a few towns over.” “Why, you got better things to do?” “Yeah, getting food on the table, you leech.” Jason goes on an impromptu road trip with an ex-Talon and ends up running into a family member… who still thinks he’s dead. Oops.

Ghost's words: Calvin Rose deserves more love in this fandom!

Q is for Quintessential by writergeek / @writergeek

"Rodney...you're talking about altering the timeline here." Well...yeah. Wasn't that the point? "...I want you to have a backup plan." Of course he had a backup plan. At this point he could probably list them all by alphabetical order. Or...the story of the backup plan(s) Rodney never wanted to use to save 12 days 25 years 48000 years mankind.

WG's words: not a DC fic, it actually comes from my old fandom, SGA. i just... i enjoy the time loop shenanigans and the fixit nature of it (which needs fixing only bc i broke it shush), both tropes i adore reading (and writing, apparently)

Leaving The Light by TheCallOfTheSea

Jason is alive, but he has fallen. Can the Batfamily save him?

M&M's words: I enjoyed exploring Jason as a villain, but it wasn’t easy writing relentless angst! I still brought out his humanity in a way.

closet space by adelfie / @adelfie

“Hi,” she says in a breathless rush, then takes a moment to swallow and wet her lips. “I, uh, need your help?” “Are you dying?” “N-not exactly.” “Then you don’t need me,” comes Jason’s lazy, uninterested reply. The call ends with a click. . Steph doesn't know what's more embarrassing: that she's been locked in a closet during a party, or the fact that her "friends" aren't really her friends. And to top it all off, Jason's the only one who can come rescue her.

adelfie's words: I love that Steph isn't fighting a big bad villain -- there's something so soft and strong in realizing that other people's judgments aren't what truly matter.

penance by cuephrase / @cuephrase

After Tim dies, his soul remains stuck as a ghost at the Manor. Forced to watch Dick and Bruce grieve him and unable to do anything, the only thing making the afterlife bearable is Jason. Until the day his ghost departs.  Tim assumes that Jason has passed on. But then the Red Hood breaks into the Cave. And for the first time, someone can see Tim.

Cue's words: i just had an inordinately fun time writing it!! there was a lot of catharsis in the process, and i’m very proud of the ending because i feel like i was able to preserve the fic’s bittersweetness- like the happy ending didn’t dilute the sorrow and instead they were able to complement each other

two vigilantes carry a cake across gotham by JBS_Forever / @jbsforever

In a scheming attempt to make them bond, Bruce forces Jason and Tim on what should be a simple quest: retrieve Alfred’s birthday cake from across town and make it back before the party. But this is Gotham. And nothing is ever simple in Gotham.

JBS' words: it's a story that centers around jason learning just how much crime alley appreciates him. it's also a sibling bonding fic between jason and tim

Ghosts From The Past by red_jaebyrd / @red-jaebyrd

Tim stared at an old poster of the ‘The Flying Graysons’ and his stomach dropped. He immediately fixated on the young boy’s smiling face with his eyes bright and full of life; frozen in time in eternal happiness. It was such a sharp contrast to the last memory Tim had of the youngest Grayson laying broken and still on the circus floor. Tim sighed. He wasn’t just at any old circus. He was back at Haly’s Circus where his nightmares had started and never really stopped. Or Bruce is Ghost Hunter and takes Jason and Tim with him to investigate strange happenings at Haly's Circus.

Jae's words: I wanted to try and write my own version of a no capes au adding in my own lore about the characters and their new world.

sons of sky by ScarlettSwordMoon, Kiwilart / @kiwilart

Dick is thirteen, leader of the Teen Titans, and already starting to chaff under Bruce’s thumb. When Bruce gets de-aged to fourteen, Dick thinks this experience will finally bring their partnership back to working order. It doesn’t. And then it does.

Scarlett's words: This fic has challenged me in so many fun directions. It is terrifying and exhilarating to write young!Bruce and to really try my hand at a big novel length plot line. Of all my WIPs, this is the most fun to work on because I'm working with an artist, Kiwili, who supports me during the loneliest parts of the drafting process, and also draws amazing art for the fic. I'm very proud of what we've done so far and very excited to be close to finishing.

we'll meet again some sunny day by Ms_Trickster / @ms-trickster

When Talia rests a hand atop her bed, the sound of paper crunching beneath it fills her ears.

Missy's words: Talia is a character that deserves a lot more depth and affection and it was a blast to write a story in which she is loved.

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

↓Screenshot↓

↑Screenshot↑

[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[dsireland86]

Anyway you could do one where Noah stops me from drinking myself into a mess and takes care of me loveingly. I struggled with alcohol addiction for the longest. Xoxox💚

This is a beautiful request. I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. I know all too well what it's like to battle a demon that you feel like you might not ever defeat. Hope this story helps and puts a smile on your face :)

No Longer Addicted

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @thefallenangel @fadingintothegrey @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey

Life is fucking hard sometimes. Too hard. We all need that one thing to help us get over or through shit, and that's not always a bad thing.

Except for when that one thing becomes your only thing, your only vise, your only outlet, your only hope. That one thing starts to consume you, taking with it everything about yourself you thought you knew.

That's what happened to her. Life got in the way. It got too hard. Her one bad day continued to be that one bad day until that bad day turned into a bad life. She hit the bottom and didn't have anyone waiting for her there.

She'd spent a few years fighting a devil that came to her in the form of alcohol. At first, it was alluring, tempting, and fun. What started out as a few drinks with friends on the weekend quickly turned into hard-core house parties in the summer, spending just about every week trying to sober up.

Even though alcohol was a monkey on her back she could never completely shake off, she managed just enough to get by. But things quickly took a turn.She lost her job, a close friend died, and her parents completely gave up on her. Everything was fucked.

Until she met Noah.

Noah was... he was her saving grace. He was the lifeline to her sanity, the only thing that made sense when everything else was confusing and spinning out of control, which happened more often than not. But it didn't matter to Noah. He never judged her. He never made her feel less than human for having a weakness that would drag her down so far, she'd end up lying on the cold hard floor of the bathroom in front of the toilet.

No, Noah was her rock, even though he never intended to be.

Over the course of their quick friendship, Noah got to a point that he knew he loved her so much that he feared for her every time he wasn't with her. He'd call her, text her, stop by and check on her on his way home from Matt's house or the studios.

One the days they had off together, he'd bring dinner over to her place and they'd spend the evening eating, talking, and watching Batman (the one with Edward Cullen, Noah would say, because he could never remember the actors name). Noah found himself feeling stronger feelings for her than just friendship, and it scared him. But on a particular night, when he got "the call", everything changed. He decided to say "fuck it", and go all in, even if she didn't feel the same.

"Calm down, y/n, I'm on my way, okay, I'm coming."

Noah tried to stay calm, but his heart was racing

"Please, just take a deep breath and wait for me. I'll be there soon. Have you had anything to drink?"

There was a long pause.

"Y/n! Answer me! Are you drinking?"

Noah started the car, setting his phone down once it turned over to the car Bluetooth.

"Yes. I've had a few."

Noah slammed his fists down on the steering wheel.

"Fuck!"

"Noah, I'm sorry," she cried, her tears quickly turning into wails.

"Hey, it's okay. Shit, I'm sorry, okay. Look, just don't drink anymore, okay? I'm coming. I'll be there. Just hold on for me, please."

There was a long pause again, as Noah threw the car in drive and flew out of the parking lot.

"Hurry."

"Y/N!" Noah called out the moment he walked through the door.

He looked around the quiet apartment, over the couch in the middle of the room where they'd spent so many nights curled up together watching tv. He loved the feeling of her in his arms, craved the way she'd bury herself in his chest and sometimes fall asleep.

"Y/N! Where are you?"

His heart was pounding as that anxious feeling swelled in his chest, begging God that his intuition was wrong. Rushing into her bedroom, he saw through the partially closed bathroom door, the light that reflected off the mirror. She was there; right where he feared she'd be.

"Y/n," Noah called out, pushing the door open slowly. He found her with her head in the toilet puking severely with a bottle of vodka next to her on the floor.

"Fuck," Noah whispered under his breath.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice echoing inside the toilet bowl. "Noah, I'm so fucking sorry." She sniffed, sitting back on her feet.

"I know how much you're disappointed in me right now, because of how much you've tried to help me stay sober the last few months."

She threw her head into the toilet bowl again, this time only producing dry heaves. Noah knelt down next to her, pulling back her hair and wiping her mouth as she sat back. Nervously, she peered up at him expecting to find regret or anger in his eyes, but Noah only smiled at her. It was a small smile, one of sympathy rather than joy, but it gave her all the hope she needed.

"I'm not disappointed, y/n , not at all."

"You're not?" She sniffed, trying to clear her nose. Noah got the hint and wiped it for her.

"No, I'm not."

She breathed a huge sigh, running her hands down her face.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

She shrugged, looking down.

Noah was quiet, not too sure what to say next. But when he looked over at her again, he saw her crying. He had to fix that somehow.

"Nick got his new bass guitar in today. Sounds really good on the new song."

She looked up at him and grinned.

"That's great! I bet it sounds amazing. I can't wait to hear it."

Noah reached over and wiped her cheek, cupping it gently.

"You're way too fucking beautiful to cry, y/n. You're too beautiful to be doing this," he pointed to the bottle and the toilet.

She nodded, slowly hanging her head.

"What happened?"

"He's married."

Noah's eyes widened.

"The guy you've been talking to? He's fucking married?"

She nodded slowly.

"I saw him today after work, and I guess he forgot to take off his wedding band in his hurry to meet me."

Noah hung his head, running a hand through his hair.

"Fuck, y/n, I don't know what to say. That's completely messed up on way too many levels."

Standing to her feet, y/n took the vodka bottle and dumped the remaining liquid in the sink, watching it circle the drain, just like her life, throwing the bottle away once it was empty. She brushed her teeth and threw water in her face, hoping it would do something for her.

"You can tell me I'm a screwed up mess and that I don't ever listen. I don't know, Noah, fucking tell me a lie for all I care!"

She broke down crying again, sobbing into her hands.

"Hey, it's alright, shhhh," Noah soothed her, taking her into his arms, pulling her close. She pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in: his scent, his warmth, his entire being, calming down after a few minutes.

She fit perfectly in Noah's arms, her small frame entirely wrapped up against his body. Here, Noah could protect her, make her feel safe from reckless losers like the one who'd just broken her heart.

"Baby, you're not a screwed up mess. You had a relapse, that's all. It doesn't mean you don't listen or haven't been trying to stay clean. And I will never, ever, in a million years lie to you."

Lifting her head, she looked at Noah as if seeing him in a whole new different light, and his pet name for her stunned her to the point that it left her speechless. Noah looked down at her differently, too. It wasn't the sweet friend that was staring at her. No, this man looking at her now had a longing in his eyes she'd never seen before. And as much as it should've scared her, it really didn't. She liked it; alot.

"I don't know what to think or believe anymore, Noah. I'm not sure about anything."

Her words pierced his heart.

"What can I do to help you? What do you need?"

By now, there was a little heated tension between them, one that had never been there before. It was subtle, but there none the less.

Noah ran his hands up and down her backside, stopping each time, right before her bottom started. Y/N breathing slowed until it felt like she barely was.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

Noah exhaled, grinning slightly before licking his lips. Bending low, he slid his large hands lovingly around her face, cupping it gently and pulling her into him until their lips collided. She closed her eyes tight, afraid to look at Noah even for a second. But with his lips on hers and his hands holding her in place, it was impossible not to feel completely wanted and accepted. For the first time, y/n felt loved.

When they parted, Noah held their foreheads together, afraid she would slip away if he let her go. He had her now. He didn't want to let her go.

"Believe that I love you. You can be sure about that." Noah kissed her forehead and pulled her close again. "Believe that you are worth and loved more than you think you are." She nodded, but Noah wanted words.

"Tell me you believe me?" he said, cupping her face and staring into her tear stained eyes. "I believe you, Noah, I do," she smiled. "You do? You really do?" "Yes, I really do," she assured him, placing her hands on his wrists. He dried her eyes with his thumbs, vowing to himself to be the one to always wipe the tears away and to never be the cause of them.

He loved her, even if she wasn't one hundred percent sure she loved him back. And starting that day Noah would prove to her that she was no longer addicted to anything but him.

[reds-writings]

souls further entwined

(pairing: rust cohle x fem!reader)

a/n: finally an update for these two! sorry to keep you waiting! I've got a lot of life changes in the works so updates might come a little slower over the next few months depending but i hope this tides y'all over for a bit! this takes place sometime after if only tonight we could sleep

word count: roughly 2.5k

warnings: (PLEASE LOOK BEFORE CONTINUING) discussions of abortion, child loss, forced/unsafe medical procedures, bad family situations, angst angst, cursing, semi-not-so-smut at the end, minors avert your gaze or else!!

The hidden gem of a restaurant that Rust had brought you to somewhere in the French Quarter was rather nice with its live jazz band playing in the corner and lavish decor. The tinkering of silverware layered on top of the low rumblings of fellow diners did what it could to fill the void of silence that had long settled between you and the man sitting adjacent. He had spontaneously asked you– well more like told you to go out with him tonight. Something about wanting to do things right once and for all after all this tiptoeing around.  The whole notion had taken you off guard, admittedly.

You’d been buzzing so bright leading up to tonight that you could've probably put a lightning bug to shame. He’d asked you on a real date. A step forward from the semi-clandestine meetings you’d both been settling on for far too long now. It was unlike him to outwardly admit to much but you doubted it was a wide occurrence that he’d take a girl on a date just because he was bored. This had meaning.

With that thought swirling in mind, you’d found your best dress and took what constituted as way too long of a pampering shower to best prepare for a promising night out with the man you'd become so deeply enamored with. It wasn’t often you got to get all prettied up for some fun given that work always managed to swallow you whole. 

God you’d been so excited. 

From the time you’d gotten into Rust’s Ford up until you’d sat down to eat he had yet to utter a single word to you. Hell, he’d hardly even managed to look at you either and it was starting to cause a distasteful rock that went by the name of dread to sink lower and lower in your gut. 

Dexterous fingers stayed picking at the table cloth as a form of lengthy distraction and you fought the bubbling urge to snatch his hand and demand what gives. It wasn’t hard to miss the anxiety bleeding from his form with those tense shoulders and that telltale faraway look in his eyes. You didn’t want to continue the cycle of jumping to conclusions when it came to the routine lack of forthcoming involving his more vulnerable thoughts out of insecurity so you bit the bullet,

“Y’know…usually on a date there’s a bit more talkin;. Maybe startin’ with questions like ‘what’s your favorite color’-- it’s blue by the way, or ‘where’d you get that lovely dress’. Could also do with lookin’ a little less green in the gills.”

That got him to stop fidgeting but a response was not yet prompted. You sighed and looked down at the vibrant cloth napkin in your lap,

“If you’re startin’ to regret this we can just forget about it and head back-”

“I don’t know if I can be what you need.” He all but blurted and it had your head shooting back up in suprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t…I don’t find myself being suited for marriage like before. I can’t give you kids because I don’t think it’s right-”

“Wait a minute just-...slow your roll for a second.” Your mind was going a mile a minute at his frank outburst and you were having trouble pinpointing just where it all came from. 

“First of all, I don’t necessarily need the promise of marriage to feel fulfilled. I’m about to hit 30 soon enough and I’ve supplied plenty for myself that I'm not sure some flimsy marriage papers can add on to. I’m not just sayin’ all this to make you feel better either so don’t go down that route.” You were tenderly stern in your delivery to make sure what you were saying was actually sticking without sounding offended.

All he could give was a slight nod as the tip of his thumb came to his mouth: a nervous tic.

“Secondly…” You cleared your throat slightly and gave yourself a moment of pause. The latter concern wasn’t that of an easy subject. For either of you. Besides your family and probably Marty, not many knew of your reality when it came to the idea of starting a family. 

“I can’t have children. So that wouldn’t even be on the table to begin with I suppose.” 

That seemed to stun Rust. His expression working out how, what, and when this came to be. You cleared your throat again. Talking about it was never easy no matter how much time passed.

“The gist of it is…well I got knocked up when I was sixteen. Total accident, shocker. And um…my pa didn't approve. Not one bit, bein’ the respectable county figure he was as a seasoned lawyer n' all.” 

Your sinuses began to sting but you willed away any threat of tears as you tried to explain. Rust didn't say a word, his expression hardening minutely with a knowing sense of where this was headed.

“I didn’t wanna listen. I was scared of course but the boy I was foolin’ around with at the time was nice and had a family who wanted to be involved so that was enough for me. My uppity family could shove it for all I cared,” You scoffed wryly but continued, “But pa was adamant. He couldn’t have some little whore of daughter muckin’ things up but we were a church family so abortion was obviously out of the question. At least one would think that was the case,” 

“Long story short he dragged me to some back alley clinic where things would be kept under wraps. They fuckin’ botched it of course and made me sterile. Didn’t really know how bad it was until another loss and a visit with the doctor after trying with a serious boyfriend some time ago…” You shrugged as you fiddled with your unused silverware. You hadn’t spoken with your family since then. Letting you be mutilated for the sake of preserving a frivolous public image was a hard thing to let go of.

You remember how sick you were afterward. Infection from the procedure and a decent amount of blood loss, go figure. You only recall the house's maids nursing you back.

Your pa had never been able to look you in the eye again. Your mama just pretended nothing had ever happened the way it did.

Sometimes your mind had the habit of taking a dark turn every now and then, wondering if they would’ve felt any remorse if their forced course of action ended up actually killing you. With a selfishness like they had you couldn't help but doubt it. 

They had always taken more pride in your sister anyway. 

“So yeah…you don’t have to worry about the possibility of kids when it comes to me. It’s not like with our line of work it’d be much of a good idea anyway. Marty’s a prime example I'd reckon.” Your laugh was brittle in a weak attempt to lift the heavy weight you felt like you’d set over the mood. 

Rust’s large hand reached over to encase your shaking one to garner your attention. Looking up you weren’t met with pity or disgust, but with recognition. One shared in the experience of grief. Of having something meant to be so precious ripped from you in the cruelest of ways. He didn’t feel sorry for you. He understood you. More than anyone else had or could. 

“You’re enough for me, Rust. I don’t know if you’ve noticed by now but there’s not much you can do to send me runnin’ for the hills. I like you as you are and I don’t need more. I wouldn’t expect you to change your mind over somethin’ like that anyway. It just wouldn’t be fair to ask.” His eyes glazed over at your words and he had to let go of the troubled breath he’d been holding. He brought your hand to his lips and kept them there as an unspoken thank you. 

After a moment or two he set your hand back on the tabletop, still grasped in his. 

“How about we find some shitty dive and let loose over there. This place is startin’ to feel a lil’ too stuffy for me.” Your light-hearted jab made the corner of his lips quirk up before he nodded,

“Yes, ma'am.” 

—

After a relaxing drive accompanied by the tunes of Willie Nelson in search of a dive bar that was sufficient enough, the ice from all the worries of earlier had melted as fast as they had formed. The establishment you ended up coming across was a more than welcome change of pace compared to that of the restaurant (as lovely as it was). It wasn’t big by any means but there was room to dance and plenty of open spots to sit around and drink. 

You looped your arm through his and leaned into his side as you made your way to settle down. There wasn’t enough time or clarity earlier to truly appreciate just how good he looked for the occasion but now you had all the time in the world to shamelessly ogle.

He’d donned a black dress shirt, forgoing a tie and leaving a few buttons undone in a way that had you feeling dizzy, as well as a nice fitting pair of jeans that had plenty of passersby’s eyes glued to his shapely form.

“The ladies of Louisiana might just beat me up for a chance with you. If your face ain’t motivation enough your ass surely will be.” You nudged him and he shook his head mirthfully. 

“One would say jealousy is unbecoming.”

“Who said anythin’ about jealousy? I’ve earned my stake in claimin’ you as eye candy fair and square. They can try all they want but they were just too slow to the draw.”

“With your pension for being scrappy, I’d say they wouldn’t have much of a chance to begin with.” 

“Gee, is that the only reason they don’t stand a chance?” You quirked a brow. You knew the answer but pestering him to fess up hardly ever got you far. 

“What d’ya wanna drink, Miss Envy.” He drawled, not one to fall into your traps so easily and you flicked him with narrowed eyes.

“Last time I checked my name don’t even come close to rhymin’ with envy so you can quit with that.” 

The shithead just smirked.

“I’ll take a jack and coke. Now run along.” You waved him away and he just shook his head. In his short absence you’d found a high top and decided to claim as your territory for the night. The music was clearer over this way and your heart jumped at the beginning notes of Fleetwood Mac’s Beautiful Child.

Upon his return, Rust had hardly been able to set the drinks down before you were grabbing at him to park yourselves out on the dancefloor. A few other couples were swaying in place so you figured it wouldn’t be all that awkward to steal a moment for yourselves.

It was strange, being able to be so open in your affections without the curious eyes of Marty or anyone else from the precinct to make judgments. You could just be yourselves. It was a breath of fresh air after all this time.

As the song gained momentum, you wrapped your arms around his neck, toying with the hairs at his nape while his strong ones made home around your waist to pull you in closer. A small spark of pride lit up your chest at him being able to be this comfortable with you.

As you rested your head along the expanse of his chest you felt the feather-light stamp of his kiss at your crown. The tenderness of the simple act almost had you turning into one hell of a mush puddle. You settled on burrowing deeper if that were any more possible as Stevie sang on. Fighting the effect he had on you was always going to be a losing battle. 

You wouldn’t trade this moment for a damned thing. 

—

It was nearing almost three in the morning by the time you arrived back home. Your mind had been pleasantly warmed by the drinks and all the dancing. Rust even seemed to have a newfound glow to him and it was triggering something innately carnal in you. 

Taking an opportunity from the pocket of silence, you scooted along the Ford’s bench seat to make a place for yourself along his lap. 

The relaxed daze displayed across his features was something you’d never had the pleasure of seeing before. It was nothing like the faraway trance he’d trap himself in with all the pills and whatnot in fruitless efforts of chasing undisturbed sleep. No, this was true content. 

“I had a good time.” You didn’t mean to sound so coy but it couldn’t be helped as your hands crept up to frame his fine face.

“That’s good. I’m glad.” He hummed as he took in every feature your beautiful face had to offer. It was like striking gold. Especially in this expansive wasteland of a state.

“When we get a chance we should do it again. S’nice to go out…feel normal…” Hair lying in his line of light distracted you as you moved it out of the way with a gentle sweep. The truck’s cab could probably burst with the steadily increasing tension so you did what any normal woman would do with such a man in front of them and kissed him with all you had. 

It started out syrupy and languid as if you had all the time in the world to be out macking in the car like a pair of careless teenagers. Your skin hummed like a live wire at his sudden grasp on the plush fat of your hips which served as the green light to go further. 

Your delicate fingers carded through his soft waves as the muscle of his tongue took dominance over the kiss. A meek whimper cracked within your throat as you tried to keep up with what little oxygen you had remaining. When Rust kissed, it was all-consuming. It was no act he took passively when it came to you which had been made crystal clear to you by now. With each pass of his wet-hot caress, you could feel everything he wanted to say to you without complication of expression through words. 

His mouth traveled across the apple of your cheek down the expanse of your neck, nipping and sucking with such lax reverence it had you arching as if you could fuse your ribs with his. Souls to be permanently intertwined.

With a starting grind of your hips that your body had no willpower to control you could feel him hardening with each intensifying roll. His choked moan had you remembering where you were and you’d be damned if your first actual night with him was in this old, damned truck right outside your house. 

“D’ya wanna take this inside?” You offered in a breathless huff, trying to catch your breath in vain. You’re sure that even in the dark of the truck’s cabin the heat of your face could set the whole space aglow. He nipped at your bottom lip and soothed it with another peck,

“I would.”

The sudden tangle of limbs clambering to make haste towards the beacon of your front door would’ve been downright hysterical had you any hubris. 

a/n: sorry to blue ball you lmao. I HOPE THIS WASN'T CRINGE AHHHHH. i'll probably come back and edit this later. feedback is always appreciated!

[itsrecoverytimebitch-blog]

Ridiculously long post of depression tips

In the words from some of my favorite books, people and games:

"Road to recovery is a long one, but you will make it." - Volition from Disco Elysium

"Be selfish. Be brave." - Babel

"You can and you will make it." - Someone I know

This will be a ridiculously long post as I'm trying to put everything I know/have learnt over the years on it, so might break it into parts if need be. I'm not a doctor, but fellow survivor and this is what I've found useful. Take what you need from the post. WE GOT THIS!

Basic self care

Crucial. Important. In some cases, life or death.

I will include the obvious tips and some random specific ones.

Sleep

It literally heals your mind when got right. Some things to make it happen:

Go to bed and wake up at the same time. Even if insomnia keeps you awake, stay consistent with the bed times.

Give yourself ridiculous amount of time for the rest. When I'm bad and in recovery, I start prepping for sleep at 8pm. People will not mind, they might be a bit surprised at first, but it's not really their business.

Be firm with yourself about technology before bed. I strive for putting my mobile off for the night, and only look at it AFTER I've had my morning coffee.

Really long walk and some kind of sleepy tea of your choice is an EXCELLENT combo for good rest.

Sleep is also tied to other basic self care, so you need to be doing all of it - but good news, more you do the easier it gets because you get better.

If you fuck up any of these points - say, stay until 3pm on your phone looking at memes - don't beat yourself up (even if that's the natural thing you'll want to do when you're suffering from depression), but don't give in either, thinking that letting yourself KEEP doing this is self care and being merciful on yourself. No. If you fuck up, it is okay and human, but KEEP AT IT. Think of all the process you've made so far despite the fuck up. Keep going. Don't let yourself get discouraged by one or few fuck ups, but make it a top priority to get back on track. You will make it. You deserve a good life and sleep will definitely help.

Food

Making food while depressed is exhausting. You need to choose the ingredients, buy them, then make the food. And your depression might tell you lies, such as what's the point and I don't deserve to eat well. But they are lies! You do deserve it. It is important to do this right to not get into financial ruin, and keep a healthy diet. This is tricky, but you can get there. Some tips:

When you're doing a little better, prepare a LOT of food, and then freeze a lot of it. Little gift for the future self who is struggling.

Keep a lot of easy good snacks around. Include fruit. Eat when hungry.

Speaking of fruit, have some at the house and eat often.

Include protein in your food. However, if you really are struggling and there's nothing but pasta in the house and you're starving, eat the damn pasta.

Accumulate a lot of simple recipes you can make quickly. Tomato pasta with some protein is a good one, especially with some Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.

Making food can be helpful for depression, although when the worst is on it's very hard. But if you're a little better, it can even be therapeutic to focus on it. Try making something that takes a while, like pizza.

When you're getting even more better ('cause you will!) offering food to others is good for mental health for secret reasons. But if the thought exhausts you as you read this don't worry about this for now.

If you excercise, horde some protein snacks you can eat immediately.

Congratulate yourself for keeping up with this, and every time you've gone through the day with a good healthy diet. It is not easy.

Similarly to sleep, if you stray off course, know this is natural, change is hard, don't beat yourself up, but get back on track. I believe in you.

Exercise

Did someone say "extra fries"? Boomer minion memes aside, this is another really really good thing to do. Get this: You can literally force your body to create endorphins, even when you're mind is in the mud. It also helps with both appetite and sleep, and self-esteem. It also can help you find an outlet, and it helps focus yourself on the present. And it is such a concrete way of fighting an illness which feels so not-concrete. Some tips:

Make plans with people or find a workout buddy. The peer pressure is an excellent way to motivate yourself even if your mind makes bullshit excuses. It may feel intimidating to ask someone but I promise a lot of people want to get into working out but find it hard to motivate themselves too, so you really are also helping them at the same time too. Societies or groups are also good, as long as you go each time.

Think of working out as a fight against your depression. Because it is. Think of your depression being this big Dark Souls boss fight. (gif below for anyone not familiar.) You are struggling, but you are fighting against it, and you're a survivor, and you're badass af for keeping on fighting.

BTW above gif: that's you drinking some estus flask (water) before you tackle again the task of fighting your depression by working out because that is how badass you are.

Do the workout, no matter what your mind tells you.

The kind of workout that raises heart rate is really good.

Long walks are also REALLY good. I don't know what it is about them, but they are magical. You might find cats on the street or cool birds too.

Yoga is also good. The YouTube channel Yoga by Adriene is very good, she's so gentle.

Remember that after any kind of work out congratulate yourself and remember you are a fighter and you've just taken even more steps to battle against this thing, it's not easy and you've done it and you should be beyond proud.

That's it for this post but I will reblog this with more tips in the future so stay tuned folks. I will cover at least things like people, hobbies, therapy, values and goals and staying organized, but I'll add more if I think more.

I've struggled with this for a long time but I can and will make it towards being better and so will you.

[callsign-dexter]

Out in the Open

Request: Ohhhhh 'Behind closed doors' was so great !!! 😍😍😍

Can I dare to request a sequel to it ? Maybe where their love never dies down so they marry someday and Cyclone gives them a speech, as he also adores how lovely he treats his daughter? And idk what else you'd like to add but maybe this would be cute 🥺🥰

Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x Simpson!Reader

Warnings: fluff, Cyclone being nice (yes this is a warning), implied smut, pregnancy, childbirth, swearing

First Installment- Behind Closed Doors

Second Installment- Out in the Open

Masterlist

Now that Natasha knew about your relationship with Bradley, he was over a lot more. Of course, you both kept it tamed down whenever it came to the bedroom when she was in the apartment. Surprisingly your father, Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson, was truly fine with it and he treated Bradley like any other pilot, that is after you threatened him.

You visited both of them at work way more often during your lunch break and Bradley came to your room as well. You both had been dating for 2 years now. Both of you are madly in love with the other. You've talked about marriage and kids and were definitely in favor of both. You both agreed to get a house before actually trying to start a family.

===============================

One night you both sat down at his apartment and talked about eventually buying a house in more detail, what you didn't know was that he had the perfect one picked out and knew you would love it. The house wasn't too far away from the base, school, or your parents.

It was brought up while you were sitting on the couch watching some house-hunting show, for whatever reason there may be. Bradley had asked to use your laptop and so of course you let him. He wanted it to be a surprise and when he found one he knew it was the perfect one.

The house was beautiful, it was a fully brick house with a two-car garage, a little deck on the front porch, and a fairly huge back deck, the backyard was perfect for kids and maybe a dog and enough space for a swimming pool. It was a three-story house with a fully finished basement, including a bedroom, kitchen area, a bathroom, or it could be anything from an apartment to, a gaming area, or another guest room. 3 bedrooms, one being the master bedroom, were upstairs with bathrooms attached, and a guest bedroom downstairs with an attached bathroom. The kitchen was a dream, it had an island in the middle and the kitchen table off to the side and it had a dining room. The living room was spacious with a rock fireplace on the furthest wall when you walk in and a place to mount a TV. There was also an office downstairs as well.

He sent the link to himself and finished what he needed and the both of you started to get ready for bed. He was nonstop smiling and when you asked what he was smiling about he didn't say a word about the house. "You. I'm smiling at you, pretty girl." He said and kissed you. Oh how you couldn't wait to marry this man.

The next morning you both were getting ready for work. You had some time before either of you had to go in so you sat around in the kitchen talking. "What do you think about moving into together?" Bradley asked you randomly one morning and it caught you off guard. You looked up at him confused and then went back to making your lunches.

"In here? Bradley there is hardly room for you. My apartment can barley hold two people, three people would be too much. Not to mention Natasha probably appreciate our late night activities-" Bradley cut you off by putting the knife down and cupping your face and kissing you to shut you up.

"No, Darling. I'm talking about moving into a house together." He said with a chuckle and you blushed embarrassed and you looked down and then back to him.

"I'm mean of course I've thought about it. I've thought about a lot of things especially life with you." You told him with so much emotion in your voice. He smiled "Why do you ask?" You asked him and he shook his head while letting go and started fiddling around in the kitchen.

"No reason. I'm just trying to plan things out." He said which really confused you. You heard his keys rattle and came up to you and grabbed his lunch and he gave you another kiss. "I'll see you after work. I may be late." You stood there speechless and now wondering what he had planned.

"I love you too, babe." You said to him in a confused voice and heard him chuckle and walked out the door. You finished what you were doing and headed out the door yourself.

When Bradley got to the base he walked in and bypassed the others and headed to his future father-in-law's office. When he got there he knocked on the door and waited for Beau to allow him in.

"Come in." Beau said and Bradley opened the door to find him alone and walked in while shutting the door. "Bradley. What can u do for you?" He asked his future son-in-law.

"You know I love your daughter with my whole heart right?" Bradley asked while taking a seat in front of Beau.

"If you're here to tell me that you're breaking up with her then you might as well start packing. I'll have you shipped off so fast you wouldn't even be able to take a breath." Beau threatened him. Beau loved his daughter and would do anything for her.

"What? No, sir. Absolutely not. I love your daughter. I want to marry her and have kids with her someday. I want to move in with her. Which is why I'm here, sir." Bradley said starting to sweat he truly did love you with all of his heart and he wanted all of it with you. Beau gave him a nod to go ahead when he stopped talking. "I found this amazing house that she would absolutely love. I wanted you to look at it and wanted your approval on it. I have the link to the listing but I was hoping you would go see it with me in person." Bradley said still feeling nervous. Beau stopped to think and nodded.

"We can go on our lunch break." He told the now nervous man in front of him and Bradley nodded and started to get up.

"Thank you, sir. I hope you both really like it." He said and started to turn away and towards the door when Beau stopped him.

"And Bradley." Beau said and Bradley stopped turning to Jim.

"Sir?" Bradley asked looking at him.

"If you ever and I mean ever break her heart, I will give you the worst assignment and base there is. No one and I mean no one hurts my little girl. Understood?" Beau asked him.

"Understood, sir." Bradley said and nodded which made Beau nod as well.

"Good. You're dismissed." He said and Bradley walked out the door and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, getting threatened by Vice Admiral Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson was worse than any mission he had been through. He couldn't wait to show him the house. He was going to ask him for your hand in marriage but he figured that would be saved for another day or when he showed him the house.

He went to the classroom to get ready for a brief that all instructors had to go through on the first day of bringing in new Top Gun students. The Daggers were already there sitting down when he joined them. They noticed he was late for once.

"You're late." Jake said first and smirked. "Get in trouble with Cyclone?" He asked making fun. Bradley rolled his eyes.

"No. I found this house that I wanted his approval on before taking Y/N to see it." Bradley told them.

"You're so whipped man." Jake said slapping him on the back and Bradley just shook his head.

"It's called being in love Hangman, something you wouldn't know about." Bradley shot back and that shut him up real fast.

"So let us see it." Natasha said breaking the tension and Bradley pulled out his phone and opened the link and handed it to her. Everyone crowded around her to look at it. "Oh wow it's gorgeous!" Natasha exclaimed "She's going to love it." She finished and everyone nodded in agreement and then Maverick, Beau, Warlock, and Hondo walked in and the breifing began.

When lunch came around, Bradley was nervous so nervous he thought if this was a mistake, but he loved you and wanted to be with you. Bradley had just finished doing flight post-check and was in the locker room already changed back into his khaki uniform. Beau met him in the locker room, this caused a lot of attention. "Are you ready to go?" He asked Bradley.

"Yes, sir." Bradley replied and Beau nodded.

"Good. We'll take my car." Beau said with no room for argument. Bradley didn't speak to any of his teammates just followed him out to his car. Bradley put the address in the GPS and on their way they went. Not much talking was done which was ok and not ok, it gave Bradley too much time to think. Before he knew it they were at the house parking in the driveway there was a car outside by the mailbox but it was just the realtor. It was much more beautiful in person.

Both men got out and walked to the front door. Bradley twisted the knob and it opened, and they walked in. The realtor, whose name was Stefanie, was in the kitchen and walked out to greet the two men. "Hello! I'm so glad you could make it!" She said in excitement and shook thei hands. She was clearly eyeing up the two men and who wouldn't? Two handsome men in Navy-issued khaki uniforms to look at a house.

"I'm glad we could make it too. Bradley, here," motioning to Bradley "is trying to find the perfect house for him and his girlfriend." Beau said and Bradley nodded. "Would you mind if we looked at it ourselves?" He asked and she nodded.

"Of course! I need to make a few phone calls so I'll be out in my car!" She said and they nodded and she left. Beau and Bradley started in the kitchen both running their hands over the black and white granite countertops. It looked like it had all new appliances, all electric. They continued throughout the house making here and there. The bedrooms were huge and all had walk-in closets. When they got to the basement Bradley stopped Beau.

"So what do you think?" He asked him and Beau nodded.

"It looks wonderful. Y/N is going to love it." Beau said looking around. "Are you going to make an offer on it?" He asked and Bradley was silent for a moment.

"I want to but I want to talk it over with her." Bradley said and Beau nodded "There is another thing I wanted to ask you though." He continued and started to get nervous. Beau turned to him and gave him a go-ahead motion with his head. "I love your daughter very much, but you already knew that. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, grow old with her, have children with her, and live in this house with her. What I'm asking is your blessing to marry her." Bradley finally got out and it was silent. He thought he made the wrong choice and was about to tell him to forget about it Beau spoke up.

"I know you love my daughter and would do anything to protect her. I know that she would love this house which I why I want you to put an offer in before it slips out from under you. I give you my blessing to marry my daughter but remember the little conversations we had this morning." Beau said and Bradley sighed in relief. To both of their surprise, they hugged each other. They walked back upstairs and met the realtor the house was actually in Bradley and your price range, and he made an offer and signed some papers and everyone shook hands and went on their way. Now it was time for him to show you the house.

Bradley decided not to show you the house right away wanting to make sure everything was perfect. It was two days later that he got the most amazing phone call ever. It was while he was at work and had just gotten done with teaching.

"This is Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw." Bradley answered his phone without looking. Everyone got promoted to Lieutenant Commander after the mission was a success and the Dagger Squad became an official Squad.

"Good afternoon, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw! I have some great news!" Stefanie said excitedly this got Bradley's heart racing. "You got the house." She said and it seemed like his heart stopped he actually got the house. "You can pick up the keys and you and your girlfriend can come by and sign more papers to make it official!" She finished.

"That's great! I'll see you this evening! I'll bring my girlfriend!" He said, "Thank you so much." They both bid each other goodbye and hung up the phone. He needed to tell Beau.

Bradley practically raced to the office and knocked and Beau called him in. Bradley immediately told him the good news and Beau actually graced him with a smile.

After work, Bradley made his way back to his apartment and when he got there your car was in the parking lot. He pulled the Bronco next to your car and killed the engine. He got out and walked in and was greeted with music playing and you in the kitchen you turned around and greeted him.

"Hey babe! I was just about to start dinner!" You said and he smiled.

"I was actually thinking we could go out." He said and that shocked you.

"Oh ok. Where are we going?" You asked.

"We'll decide on that when we get into the Bronco but first. We need to make a stop." He told you and you nodded. You grabbed your shoes and a hoodie, Bradley's hoodie, and followed him out the door. You got into the Bronco and headed that way. He drove to the address and when you got there your mouth dropped open.

"Bradley." You started but didn't know what to say. He didn't say anything as he pulled into the driveway and got out and helped you out. Stefanie was already there greeting you both.

"Hi! I'm Stefanie, you must be the girlfriend!" She said and you nodded and shook her hand that was outstretched.

"Yes. I'm Y/N. I'm confused." You said and she laughed.

"Your boyfriend and father came in two days ago and Bradley and he put in an offer and it was accepted." She said and you were shocked but happy, this was your dream home. "These are your keys." She said and handed the keys to you. Bradley was just there smiling. "Why don't you come in and sign some papers and the house is yours." She said and you nodded both of you following her. You did just that and she bid you both a goodnight and left. You couldn't believe this! Everything is perfect!

You had talked it over with Nat about moving into the house with Bradley and she was perfectly fine with it. You let her keep the apartment and she said that she would be taking over the bills and it wasn't that much of a rent she couldn't manage. You had let her keep the couch there was no reason for you to have two couches. She got to keep most of the appliances as well but you took your TV since she said that she had one in her room that she could bring out into the living room. Everyone helped with the moving-in process. After a weekend you both were moved in and began the unpacking process. A few weeks later you were all unpacked and ready to start your journey together.

===============================

After Bradley asked for your hand in marriage, he started to look for a ring, and who better to help than none other than your best friend? Natasha was absolutely thrilled to be included. Bradley started to search for the perfect ring after Natasha got you to cough up what you would like. It was really a simple cut with four diamonds on each side of the diamond. They went through a lot of rings but when he found this one it was perfect and it screamed you. So he got it. It had been 2 months since you both moved into your new house. You both had decided to have a cook out and that is when Bradley decided to propose. Your parents had already seen the ring and approved of it right away. He also showed Maverick and to say he swelled with proudness was an understatement, he was happy for Bradley, he saw Goose and Carole in him and you.

It was a Saturday so everyone was able to come over. Around 5:30 PM you both started to prepare for your guests. "Do we have enough food?" You asked Bradley and he chuckled.

"Yes, Darling. We have plenty. Your father is bringing the drinks, adding to what we already have. I'm about to pack the coolers outside and start to get the grill ready. Relax we got this." He said coming up to you and kissing you. The doorbell rang causing you to pull away from him and go open it. It turned out to be you father and mother.

"Mom, Dad! Hi!" You said and hugged them both and allowed them to come in. "Dad, Bradley has the coolers ready to be packed outside." You told him and he nodded and headed that way you could hear them greet each other and watched them walk out into the backyard. Your mother and you began talking while walking into the kitchen.

"This is an absolutely beautiful place." She said and you smiled.

"Yea sorry it took forever for you to be able to see it. We just wanted to get settled in first." You said and she nodded.

"It's ok. I understand. So when are you going to give me grandchildren?" She asked and you rolled your eyes she started asking you this question when you first started to date Bradley.

"Mom. We aren't even engaged yet." You said and she just chuckled.

"It doesn't hurt to start trying. Who knows tonight might be the night." She said and shrugged her shoulders.

"Mom!" You yelled and your eyes widened with your mouth falling open. She laughed and started to put food together. After the shock wore off you began to get things ready for the night.

At 6 PM everyone started to show up, first it was Maverick and Penny, Natasha, Bob, Jake, Javy, Mickey, Warlock, Hondo, and a few other friends from work. You and Bradley greeted each and every one of them. The night was going great and smoothly you sensed Bradley was nervous but you couldn't figure out why and each time you went to talk to him you pulled away. Beau and Bradley manned the grill and once everyone was done eating and just chilling around. It was getting dark and everyone crowded around the bonfire that Bradley had going, he insisted on building one when you moved in and you agreed to have one since you love bonfires.

"Everyone I have an announcement and question for my beautiful girlfriend," Bradley announced and everyone looked at him as he got up and held his hand out to you which you gladly accepted, he pulled you up and passed the bonfire to the other side. "Y/N, Darling. When you were first introduced to me at The Hard Deck by Natasha I was memorized, I knew I wanted to start a life with you. Nothing and no one could've kept me away from you that night. You then agreed to go out on a date with me at the end of the night and it was the best night of my life," he said and you were standing there knowing what was coming next "We started to talk about moving in together and what house you would absolutely love and when I found it I went straight to your dad and we went to check it out. It was perfect. I asked him for his blessing to marry you right in the basement." He continued and pretty much everyone was crying especially the females, he got down on one knee "So, Y/N Simpson. Would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man and marry me?" He asked bringing out the ring. Your jaw dropped, you couldn't believe it this was something you dreamt of. Tears started to flow and you nodded your head.

"Yes, Bradley. I'll marry you." You answered him and a huge smile broke out on his face. He put the ring on your finger and got up from the ground and gently grabbed your face in both of his hands and kissed you hard, you brought your hands to his and kissed back. You broke apart when air was needed. Everyone congratulated you and everyone wanted to see the ring. Let's just say you and Bradley didn't get to spend much time together that night during the cookout but after everyone was gone, you both made up for lost time. Photos were captured to remember the night.

Now it was time to start planning a wedding.

===============================

The wedding took 4 months to plan, most of the details already have been planned for your dream wedding. You wanted a beach wedding and Bradley agreed with you and that was doable considering you lived practically on the beach. You wanted long bridesmaids dresses and you wanted them to be sleeveless and a deep navy blue. Your wedding dress was your dream come true, it was a flowing dress and it fit you just right and had spaghetti straps. You had a veil that flowed behind you and your hair would be done up off of your neck and French braided on the side leading into a bun with some curls framing your face. The cake was three tiers and it was marbled with chocolate and vanilla with the hint of mint. The food was in a buffet kind of style and it was light food like sandwiches and finger foods but nothing to messy and some sides like potato salad and such. The drinks were self served and with an open bar.

Natasha took you and your 3 other bridesmaids out for a bachelorette party, while Jake and the others took Bradley and his groomsmen out. You all had fun and got a little tipsy. In 3 days you were getting married to the love of your life. You had rented a beach house to fit your guests and it was a place for you to get ready. There was also a reception hall which was done up the moment you got there and that is where the wedding reception would be held.

A rehearsal dinner and rehearsal took place the next day and everything was perfect. Again happy tears were shed. You couldn't wait to marry this man. Everyone mingled well and got along. Friends and family were invited to the wedding you both wanted to keep the numbers down.

3 days later you got ready and were getting ready to do the first look. You were all dressed and had your makeup and hair done when your mother called your father into the room. Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson about cried, correction he did cry. "Oh Sweetheart. You look so beautiful." He said in a breathy voice and you broke out in a smile and tears started to stream down.

"Oh, Daddy." You said and walked over to him hugging him you pulled away and smoothed your hands down his coat "You look so handsome." You replied in return. It was silent until Natasha walked in and said that Bradley was ready. You nodded and she opened the door to the room. You walked out with the help of your dad and out into the house and down the stairs. You got outside and saw Bradley standing at the entrance of the walkway heading to the beach. Beau walked you down to him and let you go, you tapped Bradley on the shoulder and he turned around and he'll admit he cried both of you were smiling while Amelia Benjamin took your pictures, she was the designated professional photographer for your wedding she also did your engagement photos.

After several thousand pictures the ceremony was ready to start. You could see everyone sitting down and Bradley and his groomsmen, Maverick, Jake, Javy, and Mickey up at the altar. Turns out Bob was ordained and was officiating the wedding. The music started to play for your bridesmaids to walk down the aisle, Natasha, Stella, Kennedy, and Amanda. The last three were your friends from work and you had gone to school with them and became really close with them. The music changed again and that was your cue for your father and you to start walking down the aisle. The breeze on the beach was perfect and it was not a very hot day, considering it was August. You and Beau got to Bradley "Who gives this woman away?" Bob asked.

"Her mother and I." Beau said while trying not to get chocked up Bob nodded his head and Bradley took your hand and helped you stand in front of him, you passed your bouquet to Natasha. Your dad went and sat down next to your mother, Amelia was taking pictures throughout the ceremony. Bob was speaking but all you could think about was how perfect Bradley looked in his dress whites. You and him had agreed on his dress whites because you thought her looked perfect in them and you hardily seen him in them. The groomsmen and Bob had the option to wear them if they wanted to but decided against it. You only came to when Bob spoke about reading vows.

"Both the groom and the bride have decided to exchange vows to show their love for one another. Bradley you may begin." Bob said nodding his head to him and he turned to grab the ring from Maverick and turned back to you.

"Y/N from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one. You have made my life more exciting and light filled. Everyday that I get to spend with you is the best day of my life, it only gets better with you everyday. I want to start a family with you and grow old with you. We already bought our dream house. I promise to hold you and take care of you when you're sick. I promise to love you everyday. For richer or poorer. I'll be by your side and if I break that promise your dad will have me shipped off and baby I don't want that." Everyone laughed at the part, you looked over at your father with a playful glare and he hung his head and blushed. You turned back to Bradley "I'll be by your side until death do us part." He finished.

"Bradley do you take this beautiful woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Bob asked and Bradley nodded.

"I do." He said and placed the ring where your engagement ring once set.

"Y/N you may now say your vows." Bob said turning to you. You cleared your throat and took a moment as Natasha gave you the ring.

"Bradley. When I first met you at The Hard Deck I thought you were going to be like any other cocky aviator but you proved me wrong, and I'm thankful for that. You didn't freak out when I told you who my father was and boy was I grateful for that. No body and I mean no body has moved me like you did that night. Everyday when I look at you, I'm home. You're amazing in a lot of ways but I know you're going to be an amazing husband and father one day. I want to go grow old with you and raise our children together. I also promise to love you everyday. I promise to be there when you're down. I'll be with you for richer or poorer. I promise to be with you until death do us part." You said and smiled at him.

"Y/N do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Bob asked you and you nodded.

"I do." You said and placed the ring on his finger and held both of this hands.

"By the power vested in me and the state of California. I know pronounce you husband and wife. Bradley you may now kiss your bride." Bob said and Bradley did just that and you gladly kissed him back, you only pulled away when air was needed. You turned to the crowd while Natasha gave you your bouquet back. You and your now husband walked down the aisle. Pictures were taken of everyone and then you, Bradley, the groomsmen and the bridesmaids went to the beach house while everyone went up to the reception hall.

When you arrived the party was just starting. No body ate until you both were announced and you were allowed to get food and settled. As everyone was getting done with eating it was time to cut the cake. You both cut it together and fed it to each other. Bradley wouldn't dare shove it in your face, he was afraid of your dad and upsetting you. Everyone cheered and then speeches started. Everyone that wanted to make speeches did. Beau wanted to make one which didn't surprise many people.

"I want to say that you two make a great team. I'm so glad I'm gaining a son-in-law that truly loves my daughter and it is plain to see that she loves you back. I knew Bradley was the one for her when she threatened me at Saturday breakfast telling me not to give him a hard time at work. When he asked my permission to marry her I knew my answer was yes right away. He is a great aviator and will be a great husband and father to my grandkids. So, here is to the happy couple. I love you both." Beau finished and you were crying everyone took a drink as a toast. He handed the microphone over to you for you both to make announcements.

"We just wanted to say thank you for coming. It means so much to both of us. We are so glad we our friends and family could come and celebrate this amazing day with us. We want to thank Bob for officiating us and marrying us. We also want to thank everyone that helped with setting this up and hanging decorations and making it perfect for us." Bradley said while he held the microphone and you.

The DJ came over and the sound system and said it was time for the father daughter dance. It was emotional for both and you and Beau, he said sweet nothings to you and made you laugh and he smiled, which was a rare occurrence. It was time for the mother son dance but since Bradley's mother wasn't there your mother danced with him, she talked to him throughout it and honestly it was perfect. All the important dances were done and now the floor was opened up to everyone. The reception went well into the night and everyone had their fair amount of drinks.

It was around 1 in the morning when you and Bradley made it to the small cottage that was also rented out for just the two of you. Neither of you got much sleep instead it was filled with slow passionate love making as a married couple. You finally had the man of your dreams.

===============================

You were sent to your honeymoon right after you both got married, you both had enough time saved up for vacation. Your honeymoon was set in Venice, Italy. It was spent sightseeing and just spending time together. The weather was perfect and so was your husband. The honeymoon was 3 weeks long. 

3 weeks means a lot of spending inanimate time together. In fact there wasn’t a time where you weren’t trying to make a family. You both wanted kids dearly and you started early. One night while you were eating dinner on the balcony looking over the city with sunsetting you brought it up. “Have you ever thought about kids?” you asked before taking a sip of your wine. Bradley nodded.

“I have especially with you.” He said

 “Do you want a boy or a girl?” he asked and you thought for a moment.

“I really want both but I would be happy with either one. I would be extremely happy with twins.” You said looking into the eyes of your husband “You?” You asked.

“This is going to sound crazy but I’m the exact same way. Have you thought about names?” He asked you and you nodded.

“I have.” You replied.

“Oh yea? What would they be?” He asked 

“Well I thought about this long and hard. If it was a boy it would be Nicholas Beau Bradshaw, Nick for short” You said and he was silent, you were afraid he hated it. “I’m sorry we can pick a different name. I just thought since you talked so highly of your father I wanted our son to be like him. I also wanted him to have dad’s name as a middle name to honor him.” You told your head going down to look at your food that you were pushing around. 

“I love it, Darling. How come I didn’t know about it?” He asked and you looked up. 

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You said quietly

“What would you name the girl?” He asked you. You smiled.

“Caroline Petra Bradshaw, Carole for short.” You said and studied his face and his eyes were shining with tears. “Your mother should be honored for raising such a handsome, caring, and strong man that is now my husband. Maverick should be in there as well since he’s like a father to you.” You finished Bradley didn’t say a word instead he got up and went straight to you and picked you up and carried you to bed. That night he showed you the gratitude for you choosing those names and keeping his family alive in your family.

3 weeks went by fast and before you knew it you were back at home and each of you going back to work, as much as you didn’t want to go. You changed your name on everything important.

===============================

2 weeks after being back at home you started to get sick, you had some suspicions so you bought some pregnancy tests. Bradley had walked in one evening to you throwing up and he was worried. He rushed to you and held your hair back “Darling, are you ok?” He asked and all he got in reply was you gagging and throwing up in the toilet. “Oh, Darling. It’s ok.” He said and rubbed your back. After a few minutes you leaned back and flushed the toilet. 

“I think I might be pregnant.” You told him.

“Why do you think that?” He asked curiously.

“I started getting sick and smells were getting to me and I have been craving dill pickle chips and pickles with flaming hot Cheetos. I didn’t think it was anything at first until I started to crave those things.” You said and Bradley made a disgusted face to those combinations of food. “I bought a couple of pregnancy tests but didn’t want to take them in case I’m not pregnant and this is just me being weird.” You finished.

“Oh, Darling. How about you take them now? I’ll be here with you.” He suggested and you nodded and did just that. You made him go out of the bathroom while you did them and sat them on the sink and put a timer on and allowed him. You both sat against the tub in your bathroom. The timer went off and you got up and brought them over to him so that you could see them together. You both smiled when two lines appeared on both of the tests.

You were pregnant.

You got set up with an appointment right away with a doctor appointment where they did an ultrasound and got the surprise of your lifetime. You were having twins. Dreams really do come true. Now it was time to tell your family and friends. You wanted to tell your father, mother, and Maverick first so you called them over. It was a Friday night when they came over, you all had dinner and when dessert came around you decided to tell them. “We have some news for you all.” You started and looked at Bradley and he nodded to go ahead “We are pregnant with twins.” You said and everyone broke out in smiles and Beau actually smiled.

“It’s about time you gave me grandchildren.” Your mother said and everyone laughed “We’re really happy for you Sweetheart.” Everyone went around giving congratulations to you and Bradley. You all moved to the living room and finished out your night there and then they went home. Each giving you and Bradley a hug. 

Your 18 week appointment came around and this was when you would be finding out the sex of your children.

You and Bradley talked about if you wanted to keep it a secret but decided against it. You already have names picked out. “Would you like to find out the sex of your babies?” Dr. Avery asked and you both nodded eagerly. She moved the wand around and pointed to each of them “This one is a girl and a little bit shy and this little confident one is a boy. He looks like he is shielding his sister. He’s going to be a protector for sure.” She said you and Bradley, who was standing behind you holding your hand, smiled and nodded.

“Just like his daddy.” You said and everyone chuckled 

“Would you like a picture?” Dr. Avery asked and you both nodded. She took it and printed it out and then gave you it and gave you a paper towel to wipe off the gel which you gladly accepted. You couldn’t wait to share the news. Everyone took the news well and were so excited for you both and couldn’t wait for them to get here so they could spoil them. Each month your stomach swelled and Bradley couldn’t help but rub his hands over it. He and you talked to them every night and each time they responded with a kick.

9 months was approaching quickly, you wanted to work up until you couldn’t anymore and that came about when you were 8 months along. All of your female students were asking questions and were jealous especially when your husband came by when he and you were on lunch break. You were close to your due date and each of you had go bags in both of your vehicles. One day during lunch you were visiting your husband and father, when your water decided to  break and it was game on. Everyone was cool, calm, and collected then again they were used to high pressure situations. “You’re doing great, Darling.” Bradley said while he drove your car claiming he didn’t want fluid all over his precious Bronco and you just rolled your eyes.

You arrived at the hospital in record time and they took you to the labor and delivery floor. Your father stayed out in the waiting room and called everyone, they were there in record time. “Any word on the mother and babies?” Your mother asked your father and he shook his head.

“They only let Bradley go back there since he’s the father.” Beau said and she nodded her head in understanding. 

“Have they picked out names?” Maverick asked

“They have but they haven’t told us.” Your mother said.

Each time they came to check on you, you were only so many cm dilated. This was your 8th hour being in labor and the contractions were painful. “Hello Mrs. Bradshaw! I’m just going to check and see how far along you are.” a nurse said and you nodded “It looks like your 10 cm dilated. I’ll page Dr. Avery and we’ll be on our way!” She said cheerily.

“It’s about damn time.” You said as another contraction ripped through you and you practically growled. You turned to Bradley “I fucking hate you.” You told him and he knew you didn’t mean it. Dr. Avery came in with two nurses and they helped you get into position. You were a sweating mess and in so much pain but didn’t want an epidural which Bradley thought you were crazy for.  

“The next contraction, I want you to push momma.” Dr. Avery said and you nodded. The next contraction hit and you pushed “Ok and stop. You’re doing well momma.” She said and this went on for a few minutes “Ok. I see the head of the first baby. I want you to push with all of your might on the next contraction.” She said and you nodded when it hit you pushed hard “I see the head.” She said and you were getting tired but wanted this and then finally the baby came out “Good job momma! You have a little boy!” She said “Dad you want to cut the cord?” She asked Bradley and he nodded. He cut exactly where he was told and then another contraction hit and he was taken away to be cleaned up. “Ok, Mrs. Bradshaw ready to push? You know the drill.” She asked and you nodded and got ready to push again. The contraction hit and you pushed. 

“Bradley, you are never touching me again.” You said while pushing. Everyone just chuckled knowing you didn’t mean it.

“Ok momma, take a break.” Dr. Avery said and you slumped back on the chair the next contraction hit and you started to push as directed “Ok, I see the head!” She exclaimed and you kept pushing with all your might. After 3 minutes your second baby was out and letting everyone know of her arrival “Congratulations you have a healthy little girl!” She said and instructed Bradley to cut the cord again. She was taken away and cleaned up and then both of them were placed on your chest, you were crying and sweating and Bradley was crying. Dr, Avery cleaned up and walked out of the room.

“Hello babies. I’m your mom and that hunk of a crying man beside me is your dad.” You all chuckled.

“Do you have names?” The nurse asked and you nodded your head and told them.

===============================

“What is taking them so long?” Jake asked impatiently and Natasha hit him in the back of the head “Ow. What was that for?” He asked.

“Be patient.” Natasha said just about the time Bradley walked out into the waiting room everyone looked at him and saw the tear tracks but he was smiling.

“So?” Jake asked and got another hit from Javy this time.

“We have a healthy baby boy and baby girl.” He said Jake, Natasha, Mickey, Javy, and Bob jumped up and hugged him and they broke apart. Beau and Maverick shook his hand and hugged him while your mother bear hugged him  “Cyclone, Bailey, and Maverick. Would you like to meet them first?” He asked them since they were the parents of you and Maverick the pseudo father to him, they nodded and followed him back. They walked into the room quietly.

“Hey guys.” You said quietly holding the two babies. Bradley came over to you and took your little girl. 

“I want you to meet Caroline Petra Bradshaw.” Bradley said and Maverick had tears streaming down his face.

“Guys.” He started “I don’t know what to say.” He said and you both shook your head.

“You don’t need to say anything. You acted like my father even though you pulled my papers and we went through a rough patch but you made me a better pilot. We wanted Caroline to have your name.” He said and he teared up. 

“And this is Nicholas Beau Bradshaw.” You said nodding to the little boy “He was born 3 minutes before Caroline.” You finished your dad broke out in tears “Oh, Dad. It’s ok.” You said as he wiped his tears.

"Your parents would be so proud of you Bradley. I bet they're up there right now smiling." Maverick said, which made Bradley tear up, walk over to him and side-hug him.

"Thank you." Bradley whispered to him and let him go and wiped a tear and walked back to your side.

Both babies were sleeping soundly. They were passed around to each of the other three members in the room. Bradley went and got the others once he got the all-clear from you and they were introduced to the newest members of the Dagger Squad. The twins were passed around but then you started to yawn and that is when everyone bid their goodbyes and congratulations and to everyone’s surprise Jake brought the most gifts. 

Once everyone left your father, mother, and husband were left in the room. You could barely keep your eyes open and your dad noticed this “Get some sleep, Sweetheart. We got it handled from here.” He said and you nodded. Bradley came over and kissed your forehead as your eyes slipped closed and you fell into a peaceful sleep.

You were able to sleep peacefully knowing that Nick and Caroline were in good hands with her father, grandfather, and grandmother. You couldn’t wait to get them home and begin your journey with them but for now you would be getting a much deserved rest.

Tag List:

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[teejaystumbles]

Against all odds (part 3)

Part 1 // Part 2

After his work is done and Dream finds the time to retreat to his chambers, he pulls out Hob Gadling’s notebook and reads Hob's last journal entry in its entirety.

June 8th, 1989

Dearest stranger, my friend! 

I can't believe I am allowed to call you that! Let me tell you that I nearly fainted when I found your message in my notebook this morning. I've read the words you've written a hundred times by now and still I almost can't believe them to be real. I can’t believe I’m touching the pen you must have held, that I missed your presence in my room

As devastated as I was after you didn't come yesterday, as happy am I that you chose to contact me after at all.

I'm quite embarrassed about my drunken ramblings that you must have read. There's no lie in them, but I would try and put the truth into less desperate words if I could. I must seem like a fool, fixating on you like this, after all we've only met six times so far. Still, what I wrote, that you are my one constant in life, is nothing but the truth. Our meetings are fixed points in time that I measure this immortal life of mine by now. I try not to, but meeting with you has often felt like the start and finish of an era of Hob Gadling, despite it being probably more in the middle of several. Every centennial meeting with you was the most important appointment that I would plan and prepare for (as best as I could) for months, sometimes years. So if writing to you like this is the only way I get to speak to you then I will gladly take it, and thank you for it. 

But make no mistake, dear stranger - I would love to see you again and I hope you will be ready and willing to meet me in person again someday. Because

As we are sharing truths and have both admitted that we're lonely, I would like you to know that I have never been content with our schedule. If you're willing I would love to meet you a lot more frequently. A lot of things I'd like to tell you about are long forgotten again when we meet. I guess this book is a good way to share stories with you more often now, if a regular Friday night at the pub isn't your thing. I kept notebooks like this all my life, to be able to peruse them in preparation for our meetings and choose the best stories to tell you, because I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to share them all. We got cut short so often, I wonder how you appeared to know me so well without me telling you overly much. But then, that is what you do, isn’t it?

Like with Lushing Lou, you know everyone. And now you mentioned that you do not forget anyone. Do you truly know everything about me then? Is me telling you stories of my life more of an amusement than a necessity for you? Could you actually know it all with a glance instead of listening to me ramble for hours?

Please forgive me, my friend, I do not mean to sound offended. You wrote that you enjoy our meetings - and apparently my ramblings - and I know you would not lie to me.

You do enjoy stories, then. Is that it? Are you a collector of stories? Of histories? Or is your interest actually in my interpretation of these stories and events, in how a mere human experiences the things that are so easily visible to you? I remember the spark in your eyes when I told you about printing. I was such a dewy-eyed fool then, it almost makes me laugh to remember. Did you already know what Gutenberg’s machine would mean for the advancement of humanity? Did you see me finally shaking off my rough and bloody persona as a step in the right direction? Or were you simply interested, like you said, in my experience, and how I would change over the years?I admit, waiting for you to finally tell me who you are is hard for me. But I’ve waited this long and I will wait longer, and I won’t be offended if it takes you another hundred years to tell me. We have time, after all.

Much has happened in the last hundred years. Mostly war. Humans have reached new heights of cruelty. We have become even more ingenuous at killing ourselves. We have created weapons to wipe out all of humanity. We are one wrong phone call away from destroying all we’ve accomplished with the press of a button. People are overthrowing their regimes left and right and while that is generally a good thing, I am still looking over my shoulder, metaphorically, stashing money and valuables in uncanny places like a pirate of old, in preparation for what might yet turn into a true apocalypse.

It is stressful, and I admit that the new drugs are very tempting. I have not been able to resist trying most of them over the last two decades, either to be able to relax or to be able to feel something other than dread, to see some colours in all this grey.

I participated in both wars and it left me unable to sleep properly for decades. Not that sleep was anything to look forward to. If I tell you that I’ve not had a dream since before the first World War started you will surely think that I’m being silly. That I just don’t remember them. But let me tell you, about a week ago I had the first dream since, I think it must have been 1916 or 17. It wasn’t anything magical or special, (just something very simple, about lying in the grass on a hill, looking at the sky and watching bright blue birds fly overhead) but when I woke up I cried because I felt such a profound relief! Relief that I could dream again! 

I did dream of something strange soon after, though.I dreamed of a skeletal little man, mad and raving, chasing someone that looked like a weird bird man - and here I want to make clear that I do not intend to insult you, dear friend!, but this man that looked like a bird and at the same time was neither, he reminded me of you. I can’t really put my finger on it. Just something in the way he moved, maybe, or the tilt of his head-

Anyway, it was a strange dream, and I felt reminded of you, which is why I am mentioning it, I guess. I’m sorry for rambling about silly dreams. But their return (for I am certain dreams returned, I did not simply start remembering them again) has made me hopeful again.

Maybe times are a-changin’, who knows. They always are, and hopefully for the better this time.

I could tell you a lot more of the last century, of course, but I don’t know if you care to hear war stories. I do not necessarily want to drag all those unpleasant memories up, as it took me years of therapy to get over a lot of them, if you can forgive me for summing things up like I did.

I will think of better and brighter things to tell you and write to you again soon. I would be very happy if I found a reply from you in the meantime, but please use this book at your own leisure and don’t feel pressured to answer me every time I start rambling at you.

I hope to

Yours, Hob

Yours. Dream swallows and reads the word again, traces it with his finger. Yours.

Hob considers himself Dream’s. He knows it’s just an expression used when writing letters, but somehow Dream also knows that Hob means it to be more than just an empty phrase.

His.

Dream does not know if he wants Hob to consider himself Dream’s. Dream would not trust himself with another, not before and certainly not after his ordeal. Where before his imprisonment he had felt too sharp, too lonely, too easily enraged, he now feels brittle, too thin and too vulnerable. He cannot hold another’s heart and keep it safe. He cannot be trusted with the affections of another. He has learned that, over the last billion years. Every relationship he has ever had has ultimately failed. Because of him.

He does not want Hob’s and his relationship to fail. He intends to fix this friendship that he knows he does not deserve but cannot stop himself from clinging to. Few are truly loyal to him, Dream has learned, even fewer because they want to. Hob is singular in that regard, in his enthusiasm and friendliness when it comes to Dream, despite, or rather because he does not know him. And there Dream’s thoughts circle back to his predicament again.

He wants Hob to know him and like him, but Dream is terrified that introducing himself to Hob will leave their barely-mended friendship ready to break completely.

With a heavy sigh he stops moving, realising that he has been walking in circles in his chamber while his thoughts do the same.

Maybe it will be better to simply start writing.

Part 4

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Hi, congrats on 5K followers, I love your stories, I've just started following you and by chance, I found your "Gentle Worship" while looking for something interesting about Keegan and I'm happy to have come across a page with a lots of weel-written and interesting stories :)) I have had a look at the characters you write about and after intense evaluation I would like to ask you to kill me with an intense domestic fluff with Gary "Roach" Sanderson, where Gary came home the night before his due date, exhausted after an intense and dangerous OP, and finds f!reader dancing wild and singing "The Nights" by Avicii while preparing Gary's favorite biscuits and he watches her in awe because she is very out of tune and never sings in front of him. Have a nice day and congratulations again :))

—Dance With Me Before The Chill Sets In

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [Tired? Yes, but he's never too tired for you and your loveliness. But maybe you need to remember to lock the door when you're home alone.] ❞

The door was unlocked and the music was blaring, and that alone made him more nervous than he’d been the past three months. Gary had just come home—back to you, back to your warmth and the scent of your shared home. While exhausted, nothing could wake him up more than your safety potentially being on the line.

He knew best, music to block out any noise; an unlocked door—a remnant of something gone wrong. 

Gary drops his bags on the steps and barrels through, hand already reaching for the gun set in the back of his belt as his eyes gain a sheen of panic. Nevermind his aches and pains—the desperate burn for sleep behind his eyes, no, his heart was hammering as fast as a hurricane; hard in his breast. Boots hitting the rugs you’d placed in the entryway, he blinks quickly and scans the area. 

Yet with the barrier gone, Gary can hear far better. All at once, the man’s body sags with relief at what his ears twitch to. 

Singing. Off-tune, off-key, feminine singing. 

Your singing. 

The silent man sighs long and puts a hand to his face, rubbing into his eye sockets firmly to push back the pounding of his skull. Blond tendrils of his hair obscure his gaze, waiting only a second to take it all in before he sets them back with his fingers. 

Standing like a fool in the foyer with his gun drawn and the door open to a dark, rainy sky, the Sergeant shakes his head with a growing smile and slips the weapon away. On his way to slowly grab his bags and shut the door—which he’d have to speak to you about being locked when he was away—he listens. 

Hell, how could he not? 

Gary hums along to the song, loud beside your own voice. You weren’t trying to sing seriously, he knows, but that didn’t make it any less beautiful to him. Even your little voice cracks and the embarrassed laugh you lend yourself after makes him have to push back a bright grin. You were just…adorable. Truly. 

God, he was so happy to be back. 

Closing and flicking the lock, Gary pushes off his boots with a tiny grunt, peeling off his jacket over his fatigues before hooking it to the wall. With silent feet, he pads to the kitchen, where a familiar smell makes his nose twitch.

You didn’t sing often, and you baked even less, but the scent in the air was unmistakable. Chocolate chip cookies. A hint of cinnamon. Gary’s eyes brighten as he comes closer to the kitchen entrance—brown butter.

His favorite. 

Those eyes blink at you as he comes to a stop by the wall, hands resting in his pockets as he gazes at you with a wide-eyed love. The man takes a moment, breathing it in before he smiles small-like and leans to the side, resting his shoulder on the frame. 

Gary’s eyes don’t leave you as he watches your form sway back and forth, singing as you bring out another batch of cookies from the oven; taken out and placed on the counter. Tens already laid out to cool—scores that the man himself could, admittingly, eat in about an hour. 

He stays there for who knows how long, smiling like a kid on Christmas, before he finally makes himself known by knocking on the wall twice with his knuckles. Gary raises a teasing brow when your singing is immediately cut off by a loud curse.

Eyes meet him, and just like his own action from before, you sag when you notice who it is, tension bleeding to love.

“Gary!” He chuckles, moving forward as you barrel into him—laughing loudly and squealing. “You’re back early! I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.” 

The Sergeant hums, kissing all over your face until you’re burning up like you were sitting in front of a fire. Finally, he meets your mouth, arms picking you up from around your hips and pulling you up as he stays lip-locked with you. Fingers going through his hair, you return it with a giggle as he places you on the counter. 

Gary leaves for only a moment to put another batch of cookies in, before coming back over and slotting himself in between your legs, arms around your waist and head going to push under your chin. You gently card your hands through his hair, burying your face into it and whispering out, “I can’t believe you let me keep singing like that—how long were you there?”

The man chuckles under you, squeezing your body tighter and kissing the flesh above your clothes absentmindedly. You can feel his smirk as plain as day as he blinks, his lashes fluttering.

“You’re a troublemaker, Sanderson,” you mutter into his hair, Gary sighing like a pleased cat. “But I’m glad you’re back home to me…Tired?” 

He shrugs slowly, grunting as if unable to focus above the all-encompassing being that was you. If the Sergeant had a heaven destined for him after all of what he’d done, the scene in this kitchen would be the very definition of it—down to the cracks in the tile and how you kissed his head. The warmth in the air. 

He pulls back suddenly, your music still playing, and drags you with him, placing your feet down carefully before he sends you a sly look with a raised brow.

“Gary?” You ask, confused but grinning as he moves to put a hand around your waist and set your own on his shoulders. 

He tilts his head at you and begins taking small steps that you mirror. The man’s eyes are imploring, and they ask one simple thing—dance with me?

It’s infectious, the way he watches as if the world around you didn’t matter. 

How could you ever say no?

And so, in the warmth of the kitchen, cookies wafting on the air and your shared laughter ringing out along the house, you dance on tired feet. It isn’t elegant, but it is beautiful. How you step on his toes, how he nearly trips on the chair leg and you have to hold him up as he laughs like a schoolboy, leaning over you. 

A dance, not of skill, and a song, not of promise, but both of one thing that mattered more than all else. 

Love that seeps out of skin and eyes—that staples the essence of souls together far beyond all that they’ve been given. 

[1111jenx]

Jen haiii I missed you so much. Gurl tell me some chart placements that have completely altered your previous views on them after meeting irl. Stereotypes about signs you've found completely wrong after getting to know them. I'm dying to know the placements that truly shook you to your core, comparing your astrological studies and real life experiences with them.

Hi love,

I'm literally that one person that will ask for your birth time, birth date and location after 5 minutes of meeting yk so trust me when I say, I do have many stories to tell LOL. Before I start tho, I do need to mention that this is based off my own experiences purely and again, this is just for fun:D So please enjoy this post and let me know what you think in the comment<3

Mini Interesting Astrology Observations

- stereotypes vs. irl edition

— The amount of time I heard people telling me that Leo Rising is a ray of sunshine when in reality they can be, however not at first 100%. The way they come off are extremely practical, even a little bit distant at first. They have this powerful yet quiet aura to them. What I would say tho is that they enjoy the company of people who feels like sunshine, its just something about goodness in people that gets to Leo Rising. They adore a sweetheart always.

— I would even go as far to say that all Fire Rising initially have a hint of distance. Aries Rising can appear intimidating, truly living up to their stereotype with their nonchalant demeanor. But beneath that exterior, they possess genuinely kind hearts, though sometimes their delivery might be a bit raw. Leo Rising commands respect with their mere presence. Sagittarius Rising aligns closely with their stereotype, but remember the Water 12th houses of the Fire Risings:.

Pisces 12th house - Aries Rising: Hiding their unselfishness and uncondinational side to protect themselves.

Cancer 12th house - Leo Rising: Hiding their nurturing side and soft-heartedness to ensure they're respected or perceived in a serious way.

Scorpio 12th house - Sagittarius Rising: Hiding their devotion and secretive side out of fear of being taken advantage of.

— Libra Moon is an extremely interesting placement for me to see. People usually think they're pushovers typically but like.. lets be for real. They're just nice and they like to be perceived that way. But the second they can sense that hint of disrespect, all hell break loose LOL. They're extremelyyyy opionated people and for them, respect is something they believe they have worked very hard for. Mediators at core though, always see different sides but doesn't mean they can be one of the most stubborn people ever :)

— Scorpio Venus justifying their intense feelings is the funniest thing ever. They can 100% be very devoted in relationship but the thing is, a lot of Scorpio Venus are never ever gonna give themselves to you if they sense that you're not committed to them or even the little hint that you're not in it for real. Remember, this is a Scorpio placement we're talking about. Their pickiness can even outshine Virgo Venus on a good day. The type to genuinely stalk your socials and disappear at the blurriest red flag. For them to take you seriously, you have got to be all about them in every single way, they don't want that fleeting romance, when they're in, they're in. Playing games might be fun at first for them but they're are not going to be around to entertain anything as such for long.

— Sun conjuncts Venus gets along so well with women. A lot of their friends are usually women and it seems that they just know how to put people at ease. There's an energy of almost androgyny about them in the sense that they have a great balance of energies. Can easily befriend anyone.

— Libra Mars forgives often but usually its very logical. One of the best boundary setter I've ever seen. They are sweethearts don't get me wrong but they can easily put you in your place while still being the sweetest angel ever.

— Sagittarius Sun are extremely ambitious people. They're very very driven. While they enjoy letting loose, they're equally devoted to their work and aspirations. From my experience, they're the kind who would invest months into a project, only to celebrate grandly once it's accomplished. They truly embody the 'work hard, play hard' spirit.

— There's a stereotype that pegs Aquarius Mercury as detached and overly rational, almost robotic in their communication. But as you dive deeper, you realize this couldn't be farther from the truth. While they do possess an innate ability to see the bigger picture and communicate ideas ahead of their time, there's a depth and warmth to them that often goes unnoticed. These are some of the smoothest talkers. Contrary to the belief that they're disinterested in personal stories, many Aquarius Mercury individuals are deeply curious about individual journeys and narratives. I also noticed that since they can be so nice to talk to, people just casually open up to them about literally anything.

— I saw squares aspects synastry plays out in real life and often times its honestly super funny. Its like 2 people that speak 2 different languages trying to get the same thing but don't want to admit it out of pride LOL. I'm not a big fan when there's too much squares within personal placements but to be fair, they promote hella growth. After these kind of relationships, everyone just kinda become either more stubborn with their values or extremely open-minded LOL

— While Taurus Moon is very emotionally reliant, in the sense that they're their own safe haven and therapy guide a lot of the times. These people also may be prone to denial. They take time to come to terms with a lot of events that happened and kind of just buried it sometimes until they fully accept it. Unhealthy coping mechanisms as well but with time, they find their own peace in the truth.

— Earth Risings, lets talk. They got to be one of the funniest people alive. Their sense of humour always hits and they're the living proof for don't judge a book by its cover. Everytime I'm with them I always hurt my stomach by laughing too much PLS. However, when time calls for it, they can sit down and get all corporate on you trust😉

This has been surprisingly kind of fun, please let me know if you'd like to see more of this in the future:))

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

[sysmedsaresexist]

do you have any sources documenting programmed DID?

You know, when I was in school for social work, in order to take the 3 classes on programming, cults, and treatment, I had to have a police check and go through three interviews with faculty. Each semester, this had to be redone. Three interviews, each semester.

There's a reason that a lot of the research and articles about this are hidden behind paywalls and found in specific journals by order to clinic only.

I do have sources, and several are available through Google with proper search terms, if you so desire.

I'm sorry, but I will not be linking any.

TW for the rest of this post. You can stop right here. There's zero reason to keep reading if you already agree.

This is the most I've ever said on this topic and it'll likely be the last.

Remember to mind your spoons and take care of yourselves.

Anyways, support organizations like NCMEC! Let's bring these children home!

Some of the things from my education are still burned into my brain to this day. People can be very sick. The world is a horrible place. The mind is far more malleable than people give it credit for (without even getting close to conspiracy theories).

I would love to offer sources, but this isn't a game I want to play.

I will leave it at this. Dissociative responses start small, and are caused incredibly easily. Training this response in others is easy. This can be accidental or purposeful.

Yes, it is so easy, it can happen accidentally. This is why we needed to be interviewed, because it's so easy that anyone who took that class could go and start fucking people up royally.

I am not exaggerating, I'm not telling a story. If you think it's not possible, you don't understand dissociation at all.

You don't understand how easy it is to plant that first seed of, "just relax," how easy it is to stretch that type of dissociation, and how easy it is to mold it once you notice it happening to your victim. These abusers don't start out trying to cause DID, they're trying to create silent, discrete victims by having them dissociate the discomfort and/or memories away. That happens in a lot of ways and can take a lot of sharp turns.

And so, it happens.

There are organizations that have been doing this for a very long time (particularly within trafficking, that have been in battle with various international police forces for decades) and have it down to an art. The vast majority of the time, DID is an inconvenient accident that they'll still take advantage of, because what else can they do? They want amnesia, not alters. They want complacency, not unpredictability. They want your strength and will to be crushed, not broken off.

But they still want the money. They want the work they put in to pay off.

A lot.

And more often than not, people don't go on to tell their story, unfortunately.

[echantedtoon]

Ocean Deep Ch2 Spectacles And Scales

((Warnings for mistreatment of the mers by the sideshow owner and some of the other people, Buying and selling of mers, mistreatment of animals briefly shown, etc.

 typed in random anime man into Google and this is the first photo that popped up so I'm using this as reference to what Akira looks like.

https://images.app.goo.gl/Kxk9rU7mkMZRiRXbA)

It was a beautiful day today. 

That's usually what the default positive thing you thought was whenever something went wrong or you were feeling bad. You'd look outside and even if it was raining, you'd still find something outside to think about. The clouds looked like funny bunnies today. The next the sky would be a beautiful blue. Those flowers look wonderful. The snow looked sparkly in the sunlight. 

Anything to stay positive in the crazy world ruled by creatures unseen and more powerful than the average human. You've never seen one personally thank the gods, but you knew something must've been going on with all of the disappearances that's happened for hundreds of years. Whether it's some humans, natural accidents, runaways, or something else you didn't know but you weren't going to be one of the ones that ended up disappearing. You had a plan for your life. 

You wanted to work on yourself and maybe find someone to settle down with, and then maybe have a few children later down the line when your career was solid and you knew you'd be secure enough. Maybe even adopt a few animals! You've always wanted a small pony! Maybe a big dog you could roughhouse and snuggle with. That'd be nice. Just you and a domestic life. But for now you were just content with just working at the local florist shop and putting your life together. 

It wasn't bad. You got to help with lots of pretty flowers all year round, there was always the pleasant smell of flowers in the air, it earnt you a decent living, it wasn't too far from your house, and your boss was a very kind old lady who's been doing this for years. You were lucky to have found such a good job. 

"Thank you for coming by. It's always so nice to see you again, Akira." 

You briefly looked up from where you were watering a pot of begonias with an old teapot. One of the local men was in today buying a small bouquet of peonies for whatever reason he wanted them. Being a decently big town, you kinda knew him but with the town still being big you also didn't. You knew this man, Akira, was the son of one of the fishermen families while his mother's family were glass blowers. You only knew that because your boss mentioned that Akira's mother's family were the ones that made the giant glass greenhouse connected to her house, she used it to grow all her flowers year round. But outside of that and just seeing him around every so often, you didn't personally know Akira. But he also had a reputation for being handsome. 

He certainly has the looks to back that up. Greyish-white soft hair. Silver eyes. A tall muscular physic. And a handsome face that looked like it was sculpted by an excellent artist. You only gave a brief look over your shoulder as the two spoke.. before going back to work. It'd be rude to stare while they spoke and you had a job to do which was to finish watering these plants. 

"You too, Mrs. Satoshi. And may I say you don't look a day over forty."

A strong of chuckles that had you rolling your eyes and inwardly groaning. "Oh, stop. You always say the sweetest things to people."

"I can't help it if I wear my heart on my sleeve.~ But while I'm here, I might as well give you this." You heard a distant sound of rustling paper and a moment later Akira spoke again. "Here! I've been handing these out for everyone to see."

There was a pause of silence before your boss hummed again. "Your uncle finally gotten that display up has he?"

"Absolutely! He calls it an 'ocean viewing through glass' and he's planning on showing it off at the end of this month!"

"Having a small tank of pet fish is one thing, but who's ever heard of people keeping giant tanks full of fish just for people to gawk at? Anyone can just go down to the beach and see most of the critters in the water."

Akira gave a deep chuckle in return. "Oh it's going to be be so much more than 'just fish's, Mrs. Satoshi. The opening night is free to everyone who shows up, and there's going to be plenty to see."

"I'll certainly think about it. Tell your family I said hi."

"I certainly will." Footsteps carried away the man from the counter before they slowly came to a stop right behind you. The sudden feeling on eyes on your back had you pausing before turning over your shoulder and finding Akira staring at you with a half lidded smiling face. "I can't forget about your lovely assistant now!"

You blinked and a second later a hand held up a piece of paper to you. F/c eyes glanced at the parchment and noticed that he must've pulled it out of the bag slung over his right shoulder since a few more corners of paper were sticking out and the top opening. The paper made some crinkle sounds when he waggled it at you pulling your attention back to it, and slowly you reached out to take it from him. Your eyes gazed over it and it became pretty apparent that it was a flyer advertising the opening of a new business. Hand written too, detailing the opening date and time and other things. 

"Oh...Thank you," you remained polite.

He smiled maybe a bit too widely but only turned to start walking away with the flowers in his hands. "I hope to see you there."

You watched as he left through the front door and slowly looked back to the flier in your hands.. before just putting it away and carrying on with your business. The roses were in need of the water and the flowers weren't going to water themselves.

"You know I think he likes you."

"...What?" Your head turned to the smiling older lady.

"He passed by here practically every day and he always gives a look at you through the window," she teased, "He's a rather handsome young man, and his family has such a profitable business."

You grimaced. "That's just really creepy. If he likes me then he can be a man and talk to me about it, and I don't even know him. We're strangers. Besides-" You turned back to the flowers pouring more water from the large teapot in your hands. "-he's not my type."

You just wasn't feeling like getting close to Akira. He gave you a bad feeling, and genuinely he really was not you type. He looked really handsome but it was more than good looks that counts. What about personality and character? Nah. The other girls could have him for all you cared. The older woman only hummed in thought before shrugging.

"If you say so, Dear. Just remember you're only young once. It wouldn't hurt to find someone nice to settle down with before it's too late."

"I also have my whole life ahead of me so I have plenty of time to settle down and find someone if I even wanted to. I don't want to rush into anything that I'll just regret later." 

You didn't want to end up like so many unhappy couples you've seen over the years. Fighting and yelling and having affairs- No. You didn't want that. You were going to take your time and if someone comes along then it'll happen. If not- Well you can always get that pony or dog you've always wanted to keep you company. You didn't need to be married or have children to have a good fulfilling life. 

Besides you were perfectly content right now with how things were. You didn't need anything changing or any surprises. Everything was just fine how they were. Not a single thing needs to be added. 

"Are you going to his uncle's grand opening? I think it would be quite interesting to see what all of the excitements about."

"I don't think so. It's just going to be a bunch of fish in giant tanks. If you ask me, that's too much work to maintain. Not to mention that the amount of cleaning the tanks and constantly hauling new water to replace the old sea water-..." You shook your head. "No. Not worth it if you ask me."

She hummed turning to grab a pair of tweezers and cut away the dead leaves off a miniature rose bush. "Well you never know. It might be fun to just go and look. It is going to be free after all. "

"Maybe."

You both left the conversation at that and didn't bring it up again. There was no point. You didn't want to go and really you shouldn't to not give Akira any more encouragement for his creepy behavior. It made a shudder run through your spine and you cringe in disgust. You'd definitely be avoiding him from now on. You'd just ignore him and everything would be fine again.

With a sigh of relief, you just went on about your day and ignored the feeling in the back of your mind. It was nothing.

You hadn't heard anything else for the next three days, and it was just business as usual around here. You were having a peaceful time with your work and had all but forgotten about the encounter with Akira or his uncle's 'grand opening' except for the occasional old flier on the ground or the occasional topic of it being brought up in conversation, but it wasn't very often and you'd forget about it quickly after anyways. But there was one strange thing that happened to at the end of the week. It was really a spectacle. Really it was. Not really a thing you'd usually see around these parts. You hadn't even noticed it really, with your back towards the roads. You were too busy helping your elderly boss pick up big plant pots outside that her frail body was too weak to lift. You'd be needing these for an upcoming big delivery for (ironically) Akira's Aunt Linna as you were informed by your boss. Apparently she was planning on adding a whole lot of giant rose bushes around her home and these heavy pots were gonna be used to transport the bushes over once they were ready in one of two weeks. Unfortunately your work was interrupted by your boss when the kind lady looked over her shoulder and gasped catching your attention.

"My oh my." She looked surprised with a hand to her chin.

You followed her gaze and paused surprised as well as a few other people on the streets around you. Coming from up the road was two giant stallions being pulled along by a strong looking middle aged man. He was cursing at the animals straining to pull along their cargo and angrily whipping the reigns with each curse.

"That's sick!" The words escaped you before you could even think.

A nasiating disgusted feeling churned about in your stomach as you watched as the poor animals strained and slowly came up the road and past you both. The sounds those poor ponies were making made you want to grab a whip and swing it at the gruff looking man as they slowly walked by you. The cargo they were straining to pull was...Well you couldn't tell what it was. It was BIG. At least six feet high, ten feet long, very rectangular, and covered by old wet tarps tied together by ropes. Your eyes widened looking up at the thing as it slowly pulled past you with the man yelling at the struggling ponies, briefly a shadow fell over you both and you froze solid as it continued to be pulled by you both. 

"It ..seems like they had come up from the beach. That's probably one of the tanks Akira's uncle wanted for his opening," your boss eventually broke the silence and pointed out the size of the presumed tank.

You didn't say anything about it for you were frozen in shock. For your eyes could have SWORN they saw the brief sight of a hand and half a face peeking out at you from a gap in the tarps..The light. You told yourself. It was just the light playing tricks on you. There's no way a human was under that tarp. You were seeing things. You shouldn't involve yourself in this. Forget it. Don't get involved in this. It wasn't worth it. Nothing good would ever come out of sticking your nose into other people's business anyways. You turned away from the sight of the cart disappearing and the distant cries of the man's cussing to place another heavy pot down off to the side, the last thing you needed was unnecessary drama in your life. 

Besides it's not like whatever Akira's family was doing would affect you.

[poetryandfluffycats]

A Peaceful Night... Or Not?

A/N: I'm overusing the 'character overworking themselves and reader forcing them to sleep/cuddle instead' trope a bit much but I can't help it pls its so fun🙏

Pairing: Shu Itsuki x gn!reader

Content: Nights with Shu are peaceful, calming, a luxury among the chaos of the world. That's what you would tell others, and it was true for the most part! The only time it wasn't was when Shu worked too much and threw one of his "temper tantrums" as you called them. Tonight, it seems he's reached that point once again

Warnings: none🤍 all fluff

Words: 1.1k

Oneshot under cut!

The bedroom was quiet, save for the gentle humming of the sewing machine and the turning of pages in the magazine you were reading-some fashion blog that Shu got for free when he ordered fabrics from overseas. You were sat atop of a mountain of pillows on the bed with a blanket pulled up to your neck whilst Shu sat at his desk, fussing over the small piece of purple thread in his hands.

This silence was one you were used to, one that both you and Shu thrived in. You found that with Shu you never needed all that constant chatter and banter that others needed. You could just be still, comfortable and content in your own worlds but also eachother.

You were happy.

"Ugh! This is the most irritating thing I've ever seen! The stitches are all wrong and the colour is just audacious!" Shu huffed, chucking the piece of fabric across the room and onto the bed, "How can they send me such a monstrosity of a thing, it feels like I'm using a rock as a needle! (name), can you believe this? Awful it is"

That happiness often faded when Shu threw this weekly tantrum.

You hummed, placing the magazine down beside you to pick up the piece of cloth that had been discarded. What Shu was trying to create was a mystery to you. He liked to keep most of his projects to himself, only ever really trusting Mika to help him on the odd occasion. The piece in your hand was simple, a few squares of lilac fabric sewn together into a rectangle with pencil lines detailing the design he was going to follow. It was quite pretty looking, for a mere piece of fabric, and you couldn't personally see anything wrong with it.

"What's it going to be?" You softly spoke, changing the subject so to try and uplift Shus mood, "I like the colours"

Shu huffed, hopping off his chair and stomping his foot on the ground like a toddler then crossing his arms over his chest, "well yes, I choose purple because I know its your favourite, but that is completely besides the point! It is meant to be a skirt, a flowy one for you to wear on our dates, but take a look at it! Can't you see? Its far too stiff, it'll look horrendous on your body like that! Not how I envisioned at all!"

You swore you felt your heart double in size at the words spewing from Shus mouth, a bright pink blush appearing on your face and reaching up to the tips of your ears. The angry and stubborn demeanour that Shu put on was something that you could see right through. Behind the fiery fumes in his eyes, you could see the man that only wanted to impress you, the man who wouldn't allow himself to gift you something subpar.

"Its not that bad, we can just order new fabrics. Pass me the phone and I'll ring them up for you-"

"No no no! I will not allow some idiot with no sense of aesthetic ruin my chances at creating the prefect outfit for you!" He ripped the piece of fabric back out from your hold, running his fingers over each line of stitching and nodding away to himself quietly. "I can fix this, its fixable. Yes, I see now. All I need to do is change out my thread, wash the cloth again and redo my stitching-"

You frowned as Shu continued his rant. He overworked himself quite a lot, and of course you hated to see him doing such a thing, especially right in front of your eyes.

With a small glint of determination in your eyes, you dragged yourself out from underneath the blankets and crawled lazily towards Shus hunched over figure, wrapping your arms around his middle when you did reach him and pressing your nose into his belly. His body tensed at the sudden touch, but he didn't pull away. A good sign.

-"But of course, if I do that, I'll possibly be working late tonight, but I have practice with Kagahira tomorrow morning. I cannot do my best work if I am tired. Perhaps if I call him he'll understand my situation-(name)? What on earth are you doing? Unhand me this instant!"

Despite his cruel words, he subconsciously reached a hand down to lace in your hair, threading through the silky strands and massaging your scalp. You hummed into his shirt and pressed a feather-light kiss on his lower belly before gazing up at him with doe eyes.

"Shu~" You cooed, your voice resembling that of a child who was asking their parents for more pudding after dinner. "Let's just take a break, yeah? Worry about it later?"

"Ha! How foolish of you to think that I, the greatest artist in the world, would stop for anything! Art does not require breaks, it only requires my hardwork and dedication! Now, I ask again. unhand me-ECK!-"

Before Shu could finish his sentence, you had used all of your body strength that you had to pull him onto the bed. In your head it was a show of your immense power, and that Shu would be starstruck at the display and would give up his continuous overexertion. However, Shu was a large man and you were no where near as strong as him, so when you pulled on his waist and the two of you fell backwards, you ended up being squished under his entire body weight and nearly got knocked out from the lack of oxygen.

"What is the meaning of this?! Have you gone crazy!?" The pink haired man hissed above you, attempting to pull himself up but falling due to your arms wrapped tight around him.

You wheezed as you still struggled for air, but you wouldn't give up. You'd get him to lay down if it was the end of you. "I'm sorry... please Shu? I don't wanna fight.."

"Then why did you push me?"

"It was an accident"

"Then why are you holding me hostage!"

"Because I love you, and I miss you. You're always working, I just wanna cuddle for a few minutes" You sighed, nuzzling your forehead against his and making the biggest puppy dog eyes you could muster, "Please? With a cherry on top?"

"Such childish behaviour... I ought to punish you for your actions tonight" He grumbled in that usual manner that anyone else would have froze up and quivered at, but not you. You could spot the twitching of his lips turning into a cheesy grin. A good sign. "But... there's no harm done... alright, my dearest doll. Do what you please with me"

"Yippe!"

Your smile was brighter than the sun itself as you pressed a kiss to Shus lips. And then another... and another... and another. Until the sun came up the next morning.

[jabberwock-islanders]

So I've been listening to this cover of IDOL and a lot of the lyrics in the song HEAVILY remind me of Gojo so guess who's making his very first JJK au!!!

Rather than being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, Satoru Gojo is a well-known performer and idol. He sings, he dances, he models, he plays in shows and movies, anything and everything that would remind you of idols and celebrities that so many admire and get their inspiration from. This is the life Gojo has lived for as long as he can remember; he's always had these gifts, and has always been encouraged to use them.

Having been in the business for so long, Gojo knows what his audience wants. He knows the perfect way to act to keep everyone fawning over him as they have been for years. The people like him when he's charming, and they love him when his confidence is highest. His audience views him as being strong and untouchable, and that's exactly how he'll keep it (even during times where he wishes he didn't need to put on an act).

Gojo meets Megumi and Nobara through the modeling business, and meets Yuji through acting. He sees the talent and passion these younger stars have, and decides to take them under his wing. He teaches them anything they're willing to learn, though Nobara and Yuji seem to struggle with more musical aspects of idol-hood. They're both wonderful dancers, however, unlike Megumi. Gojo doesn't pay it any mind, focusing on each of their strengths to make sure they'll be flawless in whatever field they choose.

Enough with the cute and happy shit cuz now it's time for Geto to come into play!!

Geto is an indie artist, and he dabbles in a lot of different genres of music. While he isn't vastly well-known, he does have a decent following and plays enough gigs to keep bills paid. Frankly, that's more than he ever expected to get out of his career. As far as his musical skillset, Geto can play any instrument you'd associate with bands (guitars, drums, keyboard, etc) and is quick to learn various other instruments as well. One of his favorite instruments to play is clarinet, though he doesn't have a chance to play it often.

Geto and Gojo meet at an event that's essentially a party for any celebrities, musicians, and actors that get personally invited. Gojo was invited for obvious reasons, and Geto managed to get an invite through Shoko, who's a producer. Their first meeting was a little.. rough, to put it lightly. Geto immediately wasn't a fan of Gojo, viewing his charming persona as a tactic to play with people's feelings and avoid taking accountability for his actions. Even though there wasn't really any basis for these assumptions, it made both of their first impressions of each other a bit messy. Gojo could already tell that Geto didn't like him, but brushing it off and acting nice for the sake of pleasantries didn't seem to help in the slightest.

Geto ended up gaining some popularity through the event, and later on down the line was asked about doing a collaboration with, you guessed it, Gojo. Well, it wasn't a collaboration with just Gojo. Megumi and Yuji were said to be involved, though Geto didn't pay much attention to that. "Forming friendships with other people in the industry is the best way to advance your career," his manager said. "It'll be a nice change of pace," his manager said.

Meanwhile Gojo was a bit excited for this collab. Despite Geto not liking Gojo at all, Gojo found a strange interest in him. Shoko did say he had a nice personality under his rough edges. Maybe Gojo could get Geto to warm up to him!

For the sake of not spiraling into turning this overview into a straight up fic, I'll stop here. Tbh I'm loving this concept so much that I might make a full fic with it soon

[soopiroth]

super tips with soup #2 - taking care of big things while regressed!

Hi, everyone! It's Soup, back at it again with the super duper tips, by a regressor, for regressors! Today, it's all about taking care of big tasks you have to take care of while regressed! Let's get into it!

Disclaimer, this is based on my own experiences! I'm not sure how well this will apply to baby regressors, as I don't slip that far down, but these are my own methods, broken down!

Analyze Your Task!

Big tasks have varying difficulties. Sometimes, it's just as simple as preparing a bit of food. Other times, it's homework, or dishes, or taking care of your own medical needs. Different tasks take different amounts of physical and mental effort!

Physical Tasks: Keep It Fun!

For many physical-leaning tasks, you might be able to stay regressed. For example, cleaning and other housechores can often be done while regressed. So can exercise. With tasks like these, especially long ones, make it fun for yourself! Put on some music! Count your clothes as you fold them! Make lots of bubbles while cleaning your bathroom (but don't mix unsafe chemicals)! Give your exercises fun names and do less traditional exercises, maybe even making up some of your own! Can you think of more ways to have fun doing tasks like these?

Mental Tasks: Know Your Limits!

In my case, regression impacts my state of mind but not what I already know and how I know how to apply it. For others, they may find they can't apply their knowledge as well as they could when not regressed. Don't push yourself too hard to do something beyond you in that moment.

For mental tasks, you can also keep it fun! If you need to read, try reading aloud or asking someone to read to you. Warm-up for your big homework by doing some little worksheets beforehand to get you ready for more things.

Important Tasks: Don't Risk It (Unless You Know What you're Doing)!

For some tasks, like driving or tax forms, you may not want to risk doing them while regressed unless absolutely necessary, like in the case of perma-regressors. I recommend being absolutely grounded before doing any important or dangerous task while regressed. If worse comes to worst, see the "Yikes! Pulling Yourself From Regression?" section. You can also ask for help. See "Asking For Help!"

Masking: Sometimes, You Gotta Do It, Unfortunately!

I hate to mask, but sometimes, you have to, especially in a situation you think may be risky to regress in. Some tasks require interacting with others when you don't wish to come off as childish. This is especially impactful when your regression is involuntary or difficult to rein in once it's begun. Some tasks require only brief masking before you can go back to being alone, but others require long stretches of masking. If possible, consider purposefully regressing only when you feel like you'll be safe to. However, I know full and well that it isn't as easy as that. Sometimes, it involves restraining your regression.

Holding Back Regression!

Sometimes, you really have to push back against your regression and resist it in some scenarios. When this happens, reassure yourself that you can regress later. Make specific plans for when you want to regress, if that helps. "Microdose" on regression in brief during breaks you have from your big tasks, if it's possible. Keeping yourself in a big headspace is hard, but it is possible.

Yikes! Pulling Yourself From Regression?

In some worst-case (or just bad-case) scenarios, you may find you have to stop regressing entirely, for those of us who have some amount of control over how we regress. In instances like these, you may find it necessary to snap yourself out of regression. For me, doing the big tasks by brute force is enough to snap me out of it sometimes, but at other times, I need a little outside help or pressure, such as being around others. I've also found myself easily snapped out by funny things out of context, making dumb jokes with friends, or discussing more serious topics. These may or may not help you. For ways to purposefully take yourself out of regression, I would suggest thinking about ways you've accidentally taken yourself out of regression, and then applying them in a more purposeful way. If you're a flip or have an internal sort of CG aspect to your inner monologue to help take care of yourself while regressed, try honing in on it.

Staying On Task: Bring A Buddy!

Sometimes, staying on task can be very difficult while regressed. You may find yourself more easily distracted than usual. When I have to do tasks like this, sometimes I bring a toy friend and place it nearby to be my "overseer." My Sephiroth plushie or my Yuffie plushie tend to fill this role. You can also bring a person friend, if you'd like, which falls nicely into our next topic...

Asking For Help!

Sometimes, someone else can help you with your tasks in many different ways. You can ask for encouragement/motivation from a friend. You can ask someone that you trust to help you with a physically or mentally engaging task. There are many more ways you can ask for help, and oftentimes, these are very useful in preventing one from having to totally pull themself from regression.

Reward Yourself For A Job Well-Done!

When everything's over and your tasks are all done, you deserve a treat for good work! Play your favorite game, give yourself a sticker, or ask someone you trust for a bit of praise. There are plenty of other ways to reward yourself, too. Even if you got out of the task tired and feeling bad and like you didn't do good enough, you got through it! So you do deserve a little treat.

Take Breaks!

For long tasks, make sure you take breaks if/when possible! It'll keep you from burnout!

Have a nap, play a game, set timers/alarms for when you should take a break!

Did You Read It All? Nice Job!

Those are all of my tips. As per usual, feel free to leave your own additions in the comments, reblogs, or asks. I'm always down to take feedback on if there's anything I should add or change! I'm also open to taking suggestions for things to write more super tips on!

With all that being said...

Thanks For Reading!

See you all next time! Good luck with your tasks and chores!