#and I'm like. burnt out for no reason I think. but it's not like I can make anybody understand that bc they just don't give a shit

[alexandrianlibrarian]

If I may, that's the entirety of etiquette. It's rules and scripts to follow so that when your brain goes blank or you're stressed out or whatever you don't have to think about what to do next.

I seriously think my winning etiquette competitions are a major reason my autism went undiagnosed for so long. I had all the rules memorized so I could win, so I masked like, really well, for a really long time. Now that I'm in my thirties though... Idk. I'm too burnt out to give much of a shit anymore lol.

At this point I do my best to be kind and just move along from there.

After years of living in the adulting world, I think I’ve come to a realization: Manners exist to guide you to good conduct even when you’re in a bad mood.

When you’re happy, when you’re feeling generous, when you’re pleased with your gift or your service or your outcome, it’s easy to be nice. It’s easy to tip the waiter well when you’ve had a good day. It’s easy to thank the teller or the clerk when you got what you wanted out of the transaction. It’s easy to smile and chit-chat with strangers on the road when you’re in a good mood.

It’s hard to tip the waiter when you didn’t enjoy your food. It’s hard to thank the clerk for their time when you’ve just been told there’s a problem with their account and they weren’t able to fix it for you. It’s hard to think of something nice to say when your aunt gave you a crappy sweater you neither need nor want. It’s hard to be nice to people when you’ve had a shitty day. It’s HARD.

That’s what manners are for. Scripts and phrases that you learn by rote to say when you can’t think of a single nice or good thing to say from your own volition. Yes, they’re scripted. Yes, the sentiment is empty. But the scripts work in every situation, and the emptiness provides a buffer between your own unhappiness and the rest of society.

Because most of the time, it’s not the waiter’s fault that the food you ordered wasn’t what you expected. It’s not the clerk’s fault that your account is overdrawn. It’s not the fault of the barista or the stranger on the subway that you got fired today or your favorite aunt died. But even when you can’t summon a smile or a cheery word, you can still have manners, because they will serve you the same in sunshine or rain.

[dankbog]

I haven't listened to Critical Role in a while- I tend to get burnt out around episode 70 in every campaign and give up. But I adore the EXU series, it's a perfect length and I love seeing Brennan play around in Exandria.

But my gods Divergence is incredible. It feels like Brennan and the crew looked at the horrible state the world is in and wrote a story telling us to hope. To fight. There are bad people in power, but there are less of them than there are of us. "Seven overlords or 1,200 of us?" Incredible. "Change is coming and I am change?" Jaw dropping, I had tears in my eyes.

These level zero characters; commoners who have been through absolute hell; find the cracks in the system they are in and use whatever they can to make change. They aren't warriors or heroes or even adventurers. They're just regular people, some of whom have up on hope long before the show started. They're regular people who finally said 'no, this isn't how the world is going to be' and made it true.

I think my favorite line so far has been "To respect the free will of all beings means to respect when one has made themselves an obstacle to a kinder world". I had to keep rewinding the video so I could write it down. In a time when fascism is on the rise, here in the US and worldwide, that is such an important message. People are going to make their choices, and many of them are going to choose to side with fascism and hate and oppression in the hope that they will be safe or out of hatred for others. Whatever their reasoning, they have chosen to become an obstacle to a kinder world. And those of us who are striving for a better world need to fight those obstacles however we can, with whatever means we have. Others have made their choice- respect their choice. And make yours.

I'm a level zero character. I'm exhausted and beaten down by the system, by a failing body, by so so much. But change is coming. We are change and we can make change happen. And with whatever means I have, I am going to stand firm against those who are obstacles to a kinder world.

[lillaydee]

Shhh!!! Part 7

Celebrity!Joel Miller / F Reader

A reluctant celebrity contractor who has closed his heart for love meets a celebrity-hating Cafe on Wheels owner...

She HATES him. Thing is, he couldn't get enough of the coffee she makes...

Tag List:

@kirsteng42 @peelieblue @harriedandharassed @joelalorian @vickie5446 @inept-the-magnificent @maried01 @brittmb115 @peedrow @lovefreylove @liciafonseca

Let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tag list.

Dividers by the awesome @saradika

Header by Moi cause I learned how to use Canva! Yay me!

WARNINGS: Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Celebrity Joel Miller, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 6

Joel couldn’t help his smile forming when he saw Sarah’s car parked in the garage.

His BabyGirl was home. He had missed her, missed having her around the house, missed having her snuggle to him as they watched movies together, missed having her steal bits of his breakfast as he ate his every morning, missed having her yell out ‘alarm!’ at his door every morning. She inherited Anita Miller’s early riser gene, that’s for sure. Weird thing was, she wasn’t an early riser when Laura was around. She was only one year old then, but the day after Laura passed, and every single day since, with the exception on days she was sick, her eyes opened the moment whatever the time it was to be the definition of a ridiculously early riser and then made it her business to wake Joel up with her, ranging from wailing her lungs out, jumping on his bed ‘til he gave up, to shouting ‘alarm!’ outside his door.

Ellie got a rude awakening the first morning after she moved in with them, that’s for sure.

Joel was never a late riser, but Sarah made him seem like one. As tired as he was all those years ago, a single dad, being the sole person responsible for the little girl’s needs, he had to abide by her body clock, and that meant waking up before the sun did, making her breakfast. Although, he would be lying if he said he would have it any other way. Those precious sleepy times in the mornings were what he missed the most when she left to go to college. Just the two of them, Joel doing her bidding, Sarah perched on the kitchen counter telling him what to do until she was old enough to cook for him instead.

The first time she did that, his Mama had just passed, and it was the first birthday he had without the breakfast spread she usually made him. So Sarah, standing on a small stool, cooked, at age eight, and Joel willingly ate the shell-filled scrambled eggs and burnt toast she made for him, his heart full, his eyes wet, her happy face seeing her Dad eat the breakfast she made for him making him think, at least for a moment, that he had done a good job raising her. She had since learnt that you don’t cook the shells with the eggs but always made sure to include some on his birthdays just to remind him of that first time. And he would eat the shell without fail, pretending to be annoyed with her for it every single time.

That morning Ellie trudged into the kitchen complaining that it would be the last day she could wake up at a respectable hour, since Sarah was due to arrive later that day. Bye-bye waking up at a reasonable hour, she had grumbled, despite the excitement of seeing her big sister again.

Joel laughed, plating his eggs and pouring Ellie her cereal. Hmmm… Ellie thought, he laughed, but there was something off about his laugh. He looked happy, excited, even, maybe he was looking forward to Sarah being home. She woke up to a text from her that she was already on her way and was due to arrive around 3pm. But as happy as Joel seemed to be, something was not quite right. Ellie tried and tried to figure out what it was, but for the life of her, she couldn’t.

Until Joel got an old 3-in-1 packet of coffee he got as a sample months ago out of the cupboard and made himself a cup of coffee. He looked full of thought as he stared at the mug in his hand, took a deep breath, a look of longing and dissatisfaction clearly on his face as he took his first sip.

Oh… she thought. He’s missing your coffee… or… to be more hopeful, you?

“You know, Joel, Sarah won’t be here for hours. We do have time to go to the rec centre if you want coffee. I know you like the coffee Lil makes,” she tried, not looking at him, pretending to be busy looking at her phone instead. This was a delicate task, she knew that. She must never let on that she knew he was crushing on you. That would just scare him and make him stay away from you.

Joel paused as he was taking a sip, looking as if he was contemplating the suggestion. He stood up from his leaning position on the counter, hand pressing down on it, his fingers accidentally brushing on the broken coffee machine. He immediately turned around towards it, staring at the machine for a few long seconds before telling her no.

Ellie didn’t say anything, despite the disappointment she felt. She knew what just happened. He saw the machine and was now reminded of his late wife. She and Sarah had a theory. He loved her so much and never wanted to fall for another, maybe he felt as if that was a betrayal to her memory. That must be why he refused to get rid of that machine. Uncle Tommy and Angela often reminded him she was gone, and Joel had always, always walked away every time they did that.

Sarah never dared say anything about this to Joel. She didn’t remember her Mom, and Joel never talked about her to help with that bit. Her Nana didn’t talk about her either, which was weird. Neither did Mrs Adler, the lady who looked after her when Joel was working. She remembered asking Joel about her one time, exactly one time when she was much younger, and Joel changed the subject. He was quiet after that, didn’t really look at her and was noticeably down for a few days. When she asked Uncle Tommy, Tommy told her that her Mom was the love of her Dad’s life, and losing her, talking about her, hurt him a lot. Tommy didn’t know much about her Mom, not knowing her that well. But Sarah made do with the few stories she could get from him and made up her mind not to trouble Joel with such questions again.

Joel busied himself getting the house ready for Sarah’s return. Washing her sheets, airing, dusting and vacuuming her room, the likes. He ordered lunch for himself and Ellie, eating in silence, before deciding to go out and stock his fridge and pantry with Sarah’s favourites. They were planning to drive out to the cabin in the mountains that he and Tommy bought a few years back the next day, so he needed to get provisions too.

He drove his truck in silence. No music, no nothing. He was excited Sarah was coming home, and nothing was going to spoil that for him. Not even the sight of the broken coffee machine that put to bed his excitement about getting a cup of good coffee from you. He wandered the aisles of the store alone, getting what he needed, the cart filling up to the brim in no time at all. He stopped at the coffee section, looking at the selection of fancy coffee he could get to satisfy his caffeine addiction for the week. His mornings would be filled with breakfasts and brunches with Sarah, Ellie and Tommy, all he had with them without the worry of work or schools or extra classes before Sarah started her internship the next Monday. He wouldn’t have time to go queueing up for coffee, not that there were any within a 30 minutes’ drive from the cabin anyway.

He asked the young man who was arranging some boxes of coffee on the shelves what he could get to replace good coffee without having to buy a machine for it – and the young man recommended a box of drip coffee for him to try. Just tear off the top of the packet, open and place it on a mug, pour in hot water and wait for it to finish dripping. The brand even came with a variety of strength. Joel got the strongest one they had and drove home.

He drove his truck home in silence again. Once the truck stopped, he realized that he had ended up at the rec centre parking lot. What? How’d that happen? He sat there, stupefied by what just happened. He laughed at himself for a bit, chastising his old mind for the habitual drive he had been making these past couple of weeks. Ellie wasn’t there, he didn’t need to pick her up. His brain just went there. It was a habitual thing. That was all. His mind went on autopilot and his body followed.

Although… now that he was here… he thought, glancing at the corner that would take him to your truck. He could, technically, just… go over and get a cup of coffee from you. That cup of sample coffee he had did nothing for him. Maybe he could just…? He reached for his gear knob, contemplating… it’s almost three in the evening. Was that too late to get coffee? He didn’t want to lay awake all night, like he did last night, which didn’t actually make sense since he only had one cup at your place. And it wasn’t even the extra strong six shot thing. It was just a regular cup of black coffee. Yet, he laid awake all night, unable to sleep, thankful that he could at least sleep in a little since Ellie wouldn’t be going to Frank’s class for the rest of the week.

It befuddled him. Why couldn’t he sleep? His mind went to the way you stood in your kitchen, dressed in a robe, making his cup of coffee for him. How your damp hair was up in a messy bun instead of the regular pony tail, your face completely devoid of the usual coloured lip balm you continuously refreshed throughout the day at the truck, how your fingers wrapped around the spoon like thing the coffee ground was in, working the simpler, but still complicated (to his mind, at least) machine you had in your small kitchen. He didn’t see you put anything extra in the mug, so he couldn’t find reason as to why he couldn’t sleep. He thought some more, looking for clues as to why this might be, and his mind wandered to the way your tongue stuck out a little as you steamed some milk for yourself, how your lips wrapped around the rim of the mug as you drank your coffee, how they scrunched up a little as you swallowed, your tongue licking the edges of them as you cleansed them off the frothy coffee that stuck to them…

So, no answer as to why he couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t going to risk a sleepless night tonight, not when he knew Sarah was going to wake him early the next day. So he’d better not get the coffee.

But he was here. His eyes remained glued to the corner. He didn’t really know why, but they were. His engine was still on, gear was on Drive, but his foot remained firmly on the brake pedal, eyes looking for something he couldn’t seem to identify. His heart skipped a beat as someone walked out, sitting up straight a little, straining his neck out to see who it was. He huffed a laugh at his own silliness when the person turned out to be some random lady walking out to her car, which he was now blocking.

His phone beeped. A text from Sarah. ‘Back home safe!’ she exclaimed, a selfie of her and Ellie in his garage accompanying the text. He took his foot off the brake pedal and drove out, excited to see his little girl.

“Food’s here!” Tommy’s muffled voice rang out as he walked in through the front door, the handles of a take-out bag in his mouth, his arms laden with more. Ellie and Sarah squealed, running towards him to get the bags off him, running with them back into the kitchen, where Joel was taking out plates from the cabinet.

“Sure, get the bags. Don’t hug your Uncle Tommy or anything!” Tommy yelled after them, Sarah coming back to let herself be squeezed to near death by her one and only uncle. Ellie received a hug and hair tussle from Tommy as he entered the kitchen, a hand slapping his brother’s shoulder, the other grabbing a beer from the fridge.

A very merry sushi and ramen dinner was followed by movie night, the four of them sprawled out in front of the TV, some movie about vampires or something playing. Joel didn’t care. All he could think about was his Sarah was right there, snuggling up to him, his Ellie on his other side, his brother Tommy laying on the love seat, his feet dangling off the edge. His family was here. So he watched the weird, vampire movie Sarah had picked, and watched the second one, where it had now mysteriously become a werewolf movie, and didn’t complain.

Tommy’s phone rang halfway through the second movie, and he slipped out back to answer it. Joel subconsciously got annoyed. Tommy had always done this. He would get a phone call or a text in the middle of family time, leave and then brag about his hook ups the day after, before trying to convince him to join in the next time. One time. Just one time, stay and finish the movies, Tommy. The girls were growing up, and they would leave the nest for good soon. Enjoy this while it lasted, Tommy, for God’s sake. Like it or not, they were the only family he had.

But then, Tommy didn’t leave. He was still outside, pacing the backyard in slow, steady steps, occasionally smoking and laughing, a smile evident on his face the whole time, even from where Joel was sitting. Okay, this was weird. Maybe he was just sweet talking whoever the poor young lady was on the other end of that call into meeting him after? But the second movie ended and he was still there, still talking, still laughing to whoever was at the other end. The girls got up and hugged him goodnight, Sarah being extra smoochy with him, telling him he’ll get his usual wakeup call the next morning. They went outside and hugged Tommy goodnight, the man finally hanging up, asking Joel if he’d join him outside for a beer.

“Hey, Joel, when you said you wanted to retire… was it just the privacy thing?”

Joel took a deep breath, took another sip of his beer, and nodded.

“That, and I guess… Let’s face it Tommy, we’re not getting any younger. I went to bed every night and every morning I wake up, I swear something on my body that functioned perfectly well the night before stopped working. I sneezed the other day and almost threw my back out.”

Tommy bellowed, spluttering beer everywhere.

“Also… this city… it’s just… noisy. The traffic. The smog. There are cameras everywhere… I just can’t see myself growing old here.”

“So where? If not here, where?”

Joel shrugged. “I don’t know. Somewhere quiet. Maybe I can raise sheep. I don’t know. Just, not here. Not in a city.”

“Somewhere like Nana’s and Pops’s?”

Their late Papa’s parents lived on a small farm. Tommy was only four when they died, but every Christmas ‘til then, they would travel up north and had a white Christmas. They were the best Christmases Joel could remember. His Pops and Papa would pull the two of them on a sled up a hill and they would sled down all day until Nana and Mama called them in to warm up with a cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows. Although why they were so worried, he didn’t know. He wasn’t cold. Tommy’s face and ears would be all pink and so were his, but they felt nice and warm, feeling so free and exhilarated from all the fun they had.

He wanted Sarah and Ellie’s children to remember spending Christmas with him like that. He wanted to teach his grandchildren how to chop wood, how to build things, wanted to let them play with animals, the way his Pops and Papa did with him. He wanted to make them hot chocolate with marshmallows and drink them by the wood fire. He wanted to have their stockings with their names on them hung above the fireplace, the way his and Tommy’s were at their grandparents’.

He hadn’t realized he had said all that thought out loud. His mind snapped back to the present with Tommy looking at him with warmth in his eyes.

“Don’t snap at me, brother, but… may I ask, if you were planning to have someone with you there? You know, to grow old with?”

Joel went quiet.

“Look, Joel, I get it. You loved Laura. But she’s gone, man, it’s been a long time. The girls are leaving soon. You’re really telling me you’re never going to find someone to share your life with?”

Joel took a really deep breath, “You know nothing about my life with Laura, Tommy.”

“I know, and I’m not trying to pry. Really, I’m not. You have all the rights in the world not to ever talk about Laura with me, but if you are gonna have that future you are thinking of having, are you really going to live it alone? That future sounds lovely, Joel, but doing that alone? I don’t know… it just sounds… lonely… sorry Joel…”

Joel shook his head, waving his beer at Tommy, telling him it was okay. A thought suddenly came to him. This was unlike Tommy. He was non-combative, for the first time ever, even when asking about the retirement. He looked at his brother intently, the younger man suddenly withdrawing into his seat, looking flustered.

“Why are you asking me about this, Tommy? Why the sudden interest in my retirement? I thought you were against it? You were, just last week. Why all these questions now?”

Tommy looked down at his beer bottle, his fingers suddenly busy peeling the label off it. Even in the dark, Joel could see his brother blush. His interest was peaked. He leaned forward.

“What are you not telling me, little brother?”

Tommy huffed a laugh, glee written all over his feature.

“I met someone,” he said simply, before smiling like some lovestruck idiot, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking from laughing at himself.

Joel thought for sure he imagining things. His little brother, Tommy, the one who had never had a steady girlfriend, the one who slept with a different woman every other week, was in love?

“You remember my high school buddy Jimmy?”

Joel nodded. The boy who gave Tommy a ride to school in his old Jeep.

“Well, I ran into him. He lives in Boston now but was here to celebrate his Mom’s birthday.”

Joel mulled over that information for a while, waiting for Tommy to finish speaking. But the man stopped. Joel had to take a shot, seeing as the man was not showing any interest in continuing his story, distracted by the label on the beer bottle again.

“Okay, so… you’re with him now?” he asked, cautiously.

“What? No! He was having lunch with his sister, you remember Maria?”

Oh yeah… he remembered her… but wait…

“Didn’t you hate her growing up? Called her a leech or something?”

Maria was always hanging around Jimmy. Being the surprise baby, the only girl in the family, born ten years after Jimmy and his brothers, she didn’t really have anyone her age to hang out with in the neighbourhood. Jimmy and Tommy hated having her around, leaving her in the dust on their BMXs while she pedalled her tricycle as fast as she could after them, to no avail. She would go running back crying to tell on them every time they did, a punishment for not letting her hang out with them always following. Soon, Maria became a nightmare for the boys Tommy’s age in the neighbourhood. Their parents, his own included, would actually pay her to spy on the boys. She was hard to shake off too, just like a leech. The fact that she was leeching money off their parents for doing that was just the final thump of the gavel on the nickname, as far as everyone’s concerned.

Tommy laughed, “Guess what she does for a living now?” he asked.

Joel shrugged, curiosity peaking.

“She’s an insurance investigator.”

Joel stared at his brother for a split second before throwing his head back and laughing so hard he almost toppled over. Tommy joined him, clutching at his tummy, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

It took them a while to calm down, but Joel finally asked his brother.

“So, you’re dating her now? For real?”

Tommy shook his head, “Just a drink or two last week. We’ve mostly been calling and texting. She’s out of town right now.”

“A drink or two, no breakfast the morning after?” Joel asked, disbelieving.

Tommy huffed, shaking his head, shyly glancing at his brother. Joel almost choked on the sip he was taking.

“You haven’t slept with her?”

Tommy scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head, a silly, goofy smile on his face.

Wow. Like, wow. Wow.

“Are you gonna make fun of me?” he asked, warily.

Joel didn’t know what to say. Wow.

“I really like her, Joel. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. She’s smart, sweet, funny, I can’t stop thinking about her,” Tommy laughed at himself, aware that this was not how he worked. Ever. “I think I’m in love, and I haven’t even kissed her yet,” he confessed, looking at his big brother, eyes pleading that Joel didn’t laugh at him for his vulnerability. “I don’t even know if she liked me like that, but when I think about this time next year, I see her there. I think about ten years from now, I see her there. When you were talking about a white Christmas like the ones we had with Pops and Nana, I see her there. I want that with her. Always. She travels a lot for work, and all I could think of is, I want to stop all this, sell everything, so I could be with her. Go where she needs to go.”

Joel looked at his brother, speechless, a smile on his face.

“That’s why I’m asking about you. I’m wondering if your decision to retire had something to do with a lady. Cause retirement is extremely enticing right now for me, and it is everything to do with Maria.”

Joel gave his brother a small laugh, shaking his head, before downing the rest of his beer.

For the first time in a long time, the two talked into the night without bickering.

Joel woke up the next morning to a brighter than usual room. It was almost eight. He shot up out of bed, going to the kitchen, finding Sarah and Ellie unpacking a bunch of food they had gotten.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Sarah cooed, giving her Dad a kiss. Ellie came and bumped his chest with her head, telling him they heard him and Tommy talking into the night, and therefore decided to give them both a break this morning. Tommy was still sleeping in the guestroom.

“We went to Lil’s truck to get you coffee but the line was long. We had already gotten the food, we didn’t want it to get cold,” Ellie said, looking apologetic.

“That’s okay kiddo, thanks for the thought,” he said, kissing the top of her head. He took the drip coffee he got the day before, and fiddled with the first packet, looking at the box for instructions, Sarah and Ellie fussing about to help him. The three of them somehow managed to figure it out, and Tommy walked out to find all three of them bent over, watching coffee drip out of the packet with bated breath. Once the mug was filled, Sarah took the packet off the mug and got rid of it, and she, Ellie and Tommy watched as Joel took the first sip, holding their breaths.

Their faces fell as Joel’s lips turned down a bit, his head wiggling side to side to tell them it was only okay, before taking another sip.

“Does Lil DoorDash? We could get it delivered?” Sarah asked. Ellie shook her head no.

“It’s okay, guys, this is fine. I’ll live,” Joel said, going to the island to eat.

“Who’s Lil?” Tommy asked.

“Lily, my boss at the coffee truck. She makes the best coffee. Joel loves them. We tried to get some this morning but the truck was busy.”

Tommy nodded, clearing his throat, “You know you could make good coffee yourself if you just buy…”

Joel’s eyes snapped up at his brother, shutting him up.

“Okay,” Tommy surrendered, eyes looking at the completely useless, ancient coffee machine sitting on the counter. “So, we leaving for the cabin today, or tomorrow?”

“Today,” Joel said, “We just need to get ice on the way,” he sipped on the coffee again. It’s good, really, it was. There’s just something missing. He needed to know what you put in your coffee. He had to find out. It must be the beans or something. He read that some people spray stuff on the coffee, some even mix in sugar or something or other, so that must be the missing link. He needed to figure it out. But for now, this drip coffee thing would have to do. Until Monday, this would have to do.

They piled everything they needed into his and Tommy’s trucks, Tommy telling them he needed to stop at his place to get something he forgot. He must have left them ready packed, it took him minutes to get it, placed it on the floor of his backseat and off they went. They arrived at the cabin just in time to set up and watch the sun go down as a family. They lazed by the fire that night, playing cards, roasting marshmallows and laughing at each other, with each other, just enjoying the time they had together.

Everyone generally woke up early when at the cabin, the sunrise was just too good to miss. Joel stayed at the spot later than everyone else, just wanting to enjoy the view a little longer. The quiet was too good to pass, in his opinion. So everyone went back to the cabin before him. He came back in to see Tommy and the girls standing in front of Tommy’s espresso maker, which apparently was the thing he went to pick up at his place. They placed the coffee – six shots of espressos – in front of Joel and waited for him to take a sip. Made from the finest beans, Tommy said, the beans were damned expensive too, he claimed.

Joel took a sip, and to the disappointment of the three, he made the same face he made with the drip coffee, thanking them for their effort. It’s good, he said, taking another sip before getting up to start breakfast.

Those few days were filled with just relaxing as a family, swimming in the lake, hiking, cooking, eating, just enjoying their time with each other. But every so often, Sarah and Ellie would watch as Joel sat alone looking out at the breathtaking view, wondering what he was thinking about. They had made the coffee for Joel in hopes that he would just perk up, seeing as he was so happy to get a good cup these two weeks. But that didn’t seem to work. He drank that coffee every morning they were at the cabin, seemingly satisfied with it, but according to Ellie, something was off.

Ellie didn’t get it. She watched you make coffee for Joel – there was nothing special about it. It was ground coffee, and hot water. That was it. That was what Tommy did, per her instruction. But his reaction to the coffee was nothing like the ones he had when he drank the coffee you made. Even Sarah seemed disappointed, and she had only seen his reaction once on that FaceTime on Monday. Sarah didn’t see anything different in Joel’s demeanour since her return, he was, as far as she was concerned, the same Dad she had always known, and to Tommy, he was the same old Joel. But Ellie saw a different Joel these past two weeks, and that Joel disappeared the day Sarah came back, although the other two couldn’t see the difference.

Sure, he seemed happy, or as happy as he could be before these past two weeks, but Ellie had seen how happy he could really get, and she wanted to see that happy man again. So did Sarah.

Tommy was curious, hearing Ellie talk about what a different man he was these past two weeks was like hearing about the boy he used to know as a kid. The boy who had disappeared and he hadn’t seen in forever. How happy. How smiley. How bouncy. How light. He begged the girls to show him the videos Sarah couldn’t stop referring to, but the girls didn’t want to show him, telling him there were other people involved in the videos, and they didn’t want to invade their privacies. As someone whose privacy was always tampered with, Tommy could understand, but his interest was really peaked.

So when they returned to LA, feeling refreshed from their long weekend at the cabin, Tommy decided to check this coffee out. The coffee that made his brother so happy, according to Ellie. He told Joel he wanted to come along to the rec centre, see if there was anything he could volunteer for during the remaining few weeks he had off, earning him a weirded out look from his older brother. But Joel relented, bringing Tommy with him that Monday when he took Ellie to the rec centre for class.

Tommy walked in with Ellie, supposedly to go meet the director of the rec centre, as Joel went to get his coffee. Ellie took him to the truck, hiding behind the nearest wall. The two watched as Joel approached the truck, looking jittery as fuck. “That’s Lil, that’s my boss,” Ellie whispered, pointing to you, who was standing outside with an older man, not talking to him, but smiling uncontrollably at him. The man just looked flustered, looking as if he was avoiding your teasing smiles, before going to clear the tables.

They watched as you clocked Joel’s presence, beaming at him, welcoming him back to the truck. They watched as the usually stoic Joel Miller got all smiley and light, nodding, saying “please” as you asked if he wanted his usual coffee. He greeted your Uncle Bill when you introduced them, enduring what seemed to be an overly tight handshake from the older man, before following you into the truck. They watched as he leaned against the counter, smiling and happily chatting with you as you made his coffee for him, his arms relaxed, hands placed on the counter on either side of him, as opposed to being across his chest when he talked to anyone who were not his family.

And Tommy watched disbelievingly as he saw his brother took a sip, his eyes closing, his head tilted back, his body relaxing, a dreamy smile on his face.

Okay, who the fuck was this man, and what had he done to his brother Joel?

And if an alien didn’t invade his brother’s body, that must be a damned good cup of coffee.

He needed to try that coffee. Like, now.

He said goodbye to Ellie and walked up to the window of the truck. As if some miraculous circus show was happening, he watched in horror as Joel took the apron off the hook by the door and put it on, tying it effortlessly behind his back.

His older brother’s face morphed into one of a deer being caught in headlights when he turned towards him with a beaming smile on his face, only to realize it was him, and not some random customer.

“Hello, Joel. I’ll have what��you were having, please,” Tommy said, a teasing smile on his face.

Part 8

[can-of-slorgs]

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

[angelpuns]

rural au warmup while I ATTEMPT to finish the next kid leo update ;-;

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Whenever I keep a book borrowed from the library for over three months because I haven't been able to finish it yet for various reasons, I always feel so stupid about it. Like, oh no, the librarians will judge me. I'll get a bad grade in enjoying a book, or something.

[lilithofpenandbook]

Do they seriously think we don't know this about him? Do they think we're so purity-obsessed that we'd immediately recoil in disgust and hunt for a new, purer character to love?

We love him because of these messy, ugly parts of his nature. Because he's literally human. And because we are capable of actually having understanding for people who've been through hell and have come out completely burnt up. And also, because we've actually got the braincells to realise that maybe, just maybe, the kid that's being abused in every other area of his life will probably adapt to the place and people he's literally gonna sleep in and live in simply because he needs to survive. He had no place among the Slytherins to call them out. Nor is he going to weaken himself to Lily and say 'yeah, it's nasty, but I can't exactly not support them because then I'm next' (because she's going to bash him even more).

And frankly I do not blame him for those prejudices when the muggles in his life were abusive pieces of shit, and those who supported muggleborns them were also abusive pieces of shit. And anyone who says they wouldn't end up exactly like him had they gone through exactly what he did is a liar- because you'd have ended up worse.

"oh, but Harry didn't-" Did Harry go through exactly what Snape did? No, he did not. He had no where near the level of isolation or abuse Snape went through, and even then he was still capable of being a complete arse to the people around him! Because he was human. Ron went through even less than Harry, really, but he still had so many issues that people get annoyed by him, and he is a bit of a shitty person at times! Because he's human. None of them are saints!

And every single of them would have ended up exactly like Snape had they walked in his shoes.

Snape had every single reason to just burn the world down. He had no reason to even try to save the wizarding world, the world that despised him and didn't welcome him despite their blood being what isolated him from the muggle world.

But he did it anyway.

And I do not care that he, at 15 for goodness's sake, was defending his dormmates' actions despite their severity. Because he was just a kid, and he had to fit in somewhere. And he wasn't gonna condemn the people who might have been the only people who probably didn't abuse him, was he?

Ok, but what about the fact that Snape was a complete hypocrite? He openly looked down on Muggles and Muggle-borns. When his friends cursed someone, he had no problem with it. And he didn’t hold back from making nasty comments about them either. Lily didn’t like the fact that he hung out with them, but he didn’t care—he brushed it off as ‘just a joke.’ Yet he expected Lily to stay away from the Marauders. He showed some pretty nasty tendencies even as a kid.

Oh, so now we’re pretending people aren’t shaped by their environment? That kids don’t absorb the biases of the world they grow up in? That someone who’s been abused, neglected, and ostracized isn’t going to develop warped coping mechanisms, internal contradictions, or, I don’t know, cognitive dissonance?

Let’s break this down like you’re five.

Severus grew up in an abusive household, with a neglectful Muggle father who likely hated everything about magic, and a mother who was a beaten-down, powerless witch. His entire experience with the Muggle world was pain, humiliation, and isolation. Of course he gravitated toward the magical world as an escape. And when the magical world itself was split into factions, he latched onto the side that promised him power, belonging, and a way to finally matter.

Do you think that kind of upbringing magically (pun intended) turns someone into a well-adjusted, morally pristine human being? That he would just wake up one day and unlearn all the resentment and bitterness that had been drilled into him since childhood? That he, a literal outcast, would immediately reject the ideology of the only people who accepted him? Because news flash—that's not how human psychology works.

And yes, cognitive dissonance exists. People hold contradictory beliefs all the time, especially when those beliefs are shaped by pain, trauma, and survival instincts. Snape genuinely loved Lily, yet he still harbored prejudice. He despised the Marauders for tormenting him, yet he didn’t think twice when his own friends tormented others. Because people—brace yourself—are not consistent. They rationalize, they compartmentalize, they act on emotion rather than reason.

And this is where the real irony kicks in: you whine about Snape being a hypocrite, but fail to see that this very hypocrisy is what makes him a well-written, deeply human character. You act like contradictions in a person’s mindset invalidate them, when in reality, they’re what define us. People change, people regret, people make mistakes. The difference between a shallow, black-and-white character and a rich, layered one is that the latter struggles with these contradictions instead of magically overcoming them in a neat little redemption arc that makes you feel comfortable.

So yes, Snape was prejudiced. He was bitter. He was deeply, tragically flawed. But he was also capable of love, remorse, and change. He spent decades working against the ideology he once clung to, sacrificing everything—including his dignity, his safety, and ultimately his life—because he realized he had been wrong.

And that? That’s what makes him more compelling than any of the one-dimensional "good guys" who never had to fight their own demons. That’s what makes him more interesting than the people who had privilege, support, and love, yet still acted like assholes just for fun.

So go ahead and clutch your pearls over "hypocrisy," but just know that all you’re doing is proving that you have a painfully shallow understanding of human nature, storytelling, and, frankly, reality itself.

[rorydrawsandwrites]

So far I'm honestly a lot better at drawing Puzzles with the big cartoony eyes than the white dot ones for the moment

[zombie-dogg]

I stg I wanna grab my gf sometimes and shake her til she understands she's loved and not a burden on anyone

[clown-femme]

[keeps-ache]

brrrba pa pa da de do ♩

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

[burnedself]

Like idk I do dig the notion of 13 continuing the rock vibes started by 12 (especially during S9) and taking it to its natural conclusion (style! jewelry! unholy amounts of cocaine!) and then getting it out of their system reining it back somewhat with 14 who Looks like he's all Calm and Authoritive and Serious(tm) but then you look at him during a UNIT debriefing and he's spending the entire time covertly handing out jelly babies at every officer

[badkarma1998]

Anyone else feeling particularly grinchy because Christmas shit started popping up before Halloween???? (They have begun to play Christmas music at work)

[kaiidos]

nail polish

it tastes bad (and also burns)

idk i just wanted to

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[neganium]

I hate when people are angry at someone or something, so they take it out on me if I happen to be close by or trying to address them bc I need something. Hell, even my mom's cat, Banjo, attacked me out of nowhere today- I think he is in pain, but there's not much we can do about that at the moment. I do wish he had not taken issue with me standing close by; he even came at me a second time, bc once wasn't good enough, ig!!! Legit kind of scared of that animal, sometimes. I do wish I could help him still, tho.

I have much less charity for human people that do that, tho, bc an adult human presumably knows better. But my mom, especially, does it anyways, and does it often. I get that she's stressed, but damn. And she wonders why we all turned out like that (well probably not but still).