#and I'm going back a decade
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Is there a hartwin or kingsman server? I need to talk about my newest obsession omg
#hartwin#kingsman#harry hart#eggsy unwin#i love them#ive devoured as much fic as i can#and then reread it all#everyone i know has a new fandom#and like recent#and I'm going back a decade#oh well
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she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh
#one piece#trans!sanji#sanji#kiku#yamato#ワンピース#I'm practicing my japanese shhhhhh#(日本語のペラペラ人:俺は文法とか書く方とか間違ったら教えてください😅ありがとうございます)#translation:#Yamato: I'll be able to get as strong as Oden?#Sanji: Probably... 🤔#[meanwhile Kiku is remembering the time in the hot spring]#(Sanji: Nami-chan!!!)#(Nami: Shut up!! The women's bath is supposed to be a peaceful place!)#Kiku: I am also ⚧️ ... o.o#(y'all english speakers had me all to yourselves for a decade it's about time I start to also sometimes make stuff in my next language lol#notably for media *from* that language#same as it made sense to make fan content in english for [american superhero franchise we don't talk abt anymore] back in the day#(happy seasonal reminder that Ren Is Not A Native English Speaker and This Is My 5th Language hi 😅))#while looking up reference for this I learnt that the straps to tie back the kimono sleeves are called tasuki#also I decided yamato get big muscles cause he got them kaido genes in im (I also gave him his dad's young-man-facial hair)#the more I do transition projections for one piece characters while tryna adhere to the style the more I learn that sometimes stylisation#uses bones less as literal determinants for where things go and just kinda exaggerates shapes based on vibes alone instead#meaning trans characters' bones wouldn't literally stay looking the same in that stylisation in the way they do irl#they'd get exaggerated differently based on what the surrounding stuff is doing#I still think oda's transition demonstration when we first met iva was unreasonable even with that in mind tho
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I do think that referring to Essek as irredeemable for regretting his actions only because he was caught and risked losing his friends is both kind of reductive to him as a character and a misunderstanding of the concept of redemption arcs in media.
A person generally isn't changed because you sit them down and hand them a bunch of political theory to read. They change because their circumstances and relationships do. It's like that guy who was deradicalized because he got a bunch of shrimp and started to care for them. It’s our relationships that change us, because they give us not a logical but an emotional reason to do so.
Caleb explicitly says "these people will change you" (or something along that line; I don’t remember the exact quote). Essek, before the m9, didn’t genuinely care about anyone. The people who would die if a war started because of his actions were irrelevant and abstract to him. Caleb, similarly, also started c2 not really caring about others. He had no interest in taking on Ikithon or the Assembly to save others from going through what he did, too preoccupied with his own trauma and his own goals to care. In that sense, he started the campaign in a similar place as Essek post ep. 97: regretful, but too busy wallowing in his own self-loathing to productively do anything to prevent future harm due to his previous actions.
Being with the m9, being reminded of the importance of other people and realizing that they’re capable of caring for them, is what changes Caleb and Essek both. Of course Essek starts out more concerned with losing the nein than with strangers killed in a war. They’re his starting step, the opening through which he realizes that the people hurt by his actions are real, that he cares, that he has the ability to, if not undo his harm, help stop furthering of it.
#critical role#cr2#essek thelyss#nella talks cr#esseks return has brought back old essek discourse#and I'm taking the excuse to ruminate on the nature of redemption in fiction#like lets not forget that essek starts out categorized as literally evil#caleb had over a decade to carry his guilt and regret before the entrance of the m9#he wasn't good yet but he hadn’t been evil for a while#(and lets not pretend young caleb wasn't categorized as evil. he was brainwashed sure but he was just as responsible for his actions as any#radicalized young adult who made the choice to hurt others. boy tortured and murdered people bc he believed in nationalistic propaganda)#essek in comparison spedruns his redemption bc he has the m9 from the start#but he’s still going to need some time. you can’t expect him to immediately Become Good
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE ❧ i bet on losing dogs.
#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#claudia de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire armand#daniel molloy#madeline eparvier#tusermich#edits#please no one point out the fact that these are not symmetric in numbers#it's taking all of me not to redo this from scratch cause of this i'm in physical pain#but it took too much time and i need to let go of perfectionism lmao#this came to me in a vision...#the idea of louis' life being this constant maelstrom of love and betrayal#a circle of violence and lost causes#as a victim and then as a perpetrator when he finds himself letting claudia down#claudia who left but then came back and stayed and then tried to leave again but was sacrificed in his name#lestat not knowing how to let go but then doing it in the worst of ways and armand lying through his teeth for decades just to not be alone#i love them all so dearly#beloved complex characters
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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Been thinking about the X-Files recently. A show I have a hazy, but fond memory of.
#the x files#x files#fox mulder#dana scully#poorly drawn x files#is this going to be a thing? maybe?#iirc: The x-files is about two FBI agents who are trying so hard to be professional and not fall in love. And everything is a conspiracy.#...It *has* been nearly a decade since I saw the x files. I think I'd have a hard time rewatching for a few reasons but I did enjoy it.#This was initially just a work doodle I wasn't going to clean up#but the amount of x-files fans that Ive seen about + Lazycranberryart's wangxian x-files art got my brain too fired up.#Mulderscully vibes are like: "I'm her silly rabbit. she doesn't call me that outloud. But I believe in my heart it's true.'#Its about having faith and trust in each other! They might not always agree either but they have each other's backs!#Scully is 100% the one that kills the spiders in the relationship. Mulder wants to rescue them but his ideals aren't strong enough#Girl Daddy and Baby Girl Boy. That's who they are to me.
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Oh my fucking GOD.
The ISSTD information about CDDs is NOT about system accountability. It is NOT about "well you have to make sure that a demon system member knows they're in a human body and anything they do will also hurt them too". The ISSTD isn't supporting the personhood of system members.
"This translates to--"
Stop.
Y'all are literally jumping through hoops to convince yourself and others that the ISSTD sees systems as different people sharing one body if-that-is-how-someone-identifies when that is flat out not the case. Will some providers be good about it? Sure! There are definitely providers who accept systems as different people if that's what they say they are, but that is ABSOLUTELY NOT what the ISSTD suggests.
The DID patient is a single person who experiences himself or herself as having separate alternate identities
It can be helpful to use the terms that patients use to refer to their identities unless the use of these terms ... would reinforce a belief that the alternate identities are separate people or persons rather than a single human being with subjectively divided self-aspects
the patient is not a collection of separate people sharing the same body
patient should be seen as a whole adult person
You can't "translate" these quotes away as being "actually they mean--" because no, no they don't mean anything else. They mean exactly what they say: that plural folks coming in are not separate people even if they say they are, but one person with fractured aspects of their singular psyche.
Yes, you can agree to call them "people" or "individuals" if that's what the patient (singular) calls them, but they are ONLY alternate identities of ONE SINGULAR person, not their own people, and if calling them "people" makes the patient see them as separate people different from the One True Singular Person you're talking to, you are NOT to call them "people". The idea that a system is actually different people in one body is a false belief.
You are not a collective. You are, in their eyes, One Person. Period.
Yes, parts of the ISSTD sound really close to what the plural community would call system accountability-- the idea that "clinicians must hold the patient accountable for the behavior of any or all of the constituent identities", for example. But that is not system accountability. That is "you are one whole adult person, not separate people, and so accountability must be maintained as if you were one whole adult person regardless of what you believe or circumstances".
Yes, parts of the ISSTD sound close to accepting system members as separate people-- specifically the passage of "countertherapeutic for the therapist to treat any alternate identity as if it were more “real” or more important than any other". But again, that isn't because they see individual system members as their own, separate, whole people sharing a body. It's because "all alternate identities represent adaptive attempts to cope or to master problems that the patient has faced". Meaning, they are pieces of the One True Singular Person that have formed to cope or deal with problems, but are still that One True Singular Person nonetheless. So, sure, they're all "real" because they're all actually that One Person.
And for some systems, that might be how it is! For some plural folks who aren't systems, that might be how it is! But under no circumstance should the plural community allow themselves to be fooled into thinking that the ISSTD actually allows for the plural community to ever see themselves, in any way, as separate people sharing one body. It doesn't, and too many providers do not and will not see their plural patients in that way. Even if they mirror your language and play along. They can and will stop doing so, if they think that your system ACTUALLY considers themselves separate, unique individuals instead of "self-aspects" of One Person.
You can "translate" the passages into anything you want, but that doesn't change what is actually meant. Glossing over the fact that it flat out denies personhood because some other lines sound almost like community rhetoric changes nothing. We can't believe systems are literally talking themselves (and others) into thinking that the ISSTD sees systems as fully realized individuals when it says in plain language it doesn't.
We knew reading comprehension was dead, but c'mon.
What horrifies us is the potential that younger or less savvy systems will see that shit, accept it, and then walk into a therapist's office thinking "oh the ISSTD says to accept us as different people if that's what we say we are so it'll be okay". When that sort of thing USED to get plural folks put into mental hospitals against their will. When that sort of thing STILL winds up with systems being discriminated against, and in some cases denied treatment like trans health care.
Most singlets in the psych field DO NOT see you, a system, as different people sharing the same body-- even if they use your language. You HAVE to be careful and screen potential therapists. You HAVE to interview people to make sure that they will respect your system, and treat you/you all as you want to be treated. The ISSTD is NOT your friend, and providers who follow it will by and large NOT be the people you want to see, unless you're the sort of plural/plural system who sees themselves as "subjectively divided self-aspects" of One Singular Person.
The plural community has been fighting this bigotry for DECADES.
It has NOT stopped.
#syscourse#no I'm not linking back to the post(s) this came from or @ the people involved#if you know you know#but jfc we keep saying that systems are doing the work of bigots for them and it's still true#trying to convince folks that “y'all aren't real people” actuallyyyyy says “we see you as real people” is fucking heinous#you are going to get plural folk hurt#because they are going to go into a therapist office thinking that the provider is someone they can trust#because surely the provider will see them as real separate individual people and treat them that way if they tell the provider they are#because that's what the ISSTD says!!! right?#wrong and that's been part of the whole fight for plural rights now for DECADES#that has not CHANGED what the fuck are you all smoking#endo safe#sysmeds fuck off
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I know other adults like to joke about how much pain they're in, but genuinely, please try to get your pain checked out if you're an adult experiencing it, or at least adapt your life in whatever way lessens your pain.
Your pain deserves to be addressed. Please don't "let" it get worse because you've been told that to grow older is to suffer. No, you aren't being needy or selfish or annoying. Ultimately, you are the one who suffers the most from the state of your health, and it's entirely reasonable to want your health to be up to your standards.
#disability#chronic pain#it's actually not normal to feel scared to sneeze for fear of making your pain worse (calling myself out)#i dunno i guess maybe i'm just ~too young~ an adult but i'm already tired of the jokes about pain 😮💨#i've been at this pain going on decades now so i guess that's what's gotten me kind of sensitive lol#like... it's just shitty to be told that 'its gonna get SO much worse so don't even TRY' as an adult with pain#basically when you're a kid you're too young but if you're an adult well... that's just what you get so suck it tf up#i'm going back to playing video games so that i may live in the comforting realm of fantasy (Much Less Pain Universe)#(trying to be grateful that my body is Very invested in telling me that it needs to be handled gently but it's hard)#talking so much about this just to continuously make sure that people don't do what i did in the past
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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Jason Todd being sold out and lured to his death by his mother, still dying trying to protect her
&
Annabeth Wayne Chase being conscripted by her mother into a quest that her siblings have never once survived in a thousand years, succeeding only to fall into hell anyway as a result.
#I'm just saying between Athena and Bruce#and Bruce and Catherine/Sheila#Jason Todd#is going to be doing a LOT of projecting while he wraps his head around what happened to#Annabeth Wayne#in that AU#like I think it would intensify his desire to step back into her life actually#especially since I generally HC that as like a 6-7 age gap so he would have seen her as a little kid at the manor#but I would be shocked if his own personal issues don't actually hinder him and get in the way once the parallels sink in#his perception of her has been frozen in time as a dead seven year old for a little less than a decade and THEN all of this???#pjo x dc#dc x pjo#Annabeth Chase
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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honestly feel like you can't fully understand why the nhl functions the way it does unless you have an in-depth understanding of american conservatism specifically. like. the nhl is run by a collection of people who function on conservative nostalgia, purposeful obtuseness, and a direct opposition to progressivism. they're the type of american traditionalists who think that we should go back to the good old days when people respected their elders and didn't think too hard about things like civil rights or what equity actually means. they believe in a homogenous culture of assimilation and obedience, and they rely on the people within that culture to perpetuate it via mutual surveillance. it's what the wealthy white american right has always been, especially since wwii and the cold war after it. and it's what the nhl has always been. it's a culture that is determined to keep itself locked away in the 1980s while the world around it evolves, and as it grows farther removed from the world it exists in, the more reactionary it gets. it's fucking. every 70 year old republican senator who refuses to step down until they keel over dead in congress. that's it. that's all.
#like. okay. yes obviously love travis dermott thank u king etc etc#but this whole thing is just. it means nothing. none of this means anything#the nhl never loved you. the nhl never believed in gay rights or trans rights or poc rights or any of it#the nhl floated along on the exact platform they've had for decades and let the teams decide what political stances they'd move forward on#until an opportunity presented itself for the conservatism underlying the entire stupid organization to rear its head#just because they changed the rule doesn't mean it's gone. it just means it's hidden under a dozen different layers of pr and performatism#hurray we get pride tape back. i'm sure this will stay the case forever and never change or be an issue ever again.#ok sorry for being cynicallll i should go do my readings#bees speaks
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New roboson before the year ends. I'm still choosing a name for him but he exists now and I love him already.
But hey, maybe you guys wanna vote on the name! Here's a poll if you want to help me choose. Thank you✨
(Poll has been removed! The winning name was Starflare.)
#transformers#transformers oc#cybertronian#I myself am stuck between Star Ranger and Starflare but I'm curious to see what you all will go for#seems I roll back into the Transformers fandom every decade or so x'D not that I mind#wish art
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i am going to wind up on team #justiceforarmand but it's going to be so situational. justice for armand specifically during the period of time louis is all "oooh who needs labels." a very different kind of justice for armand on matters pertaining to claudia.
#usually i would be like 70 years???#that's just your husband. sit in your choices as u might say#obsessing over your first love isn't going to change anything about what you decided to do and who you decided to do it with#but in light of claudia i'm forced to be like hm. well if you just wanted to torment him by dangling yourself in front of him for decades#that would be valid. like you should probably do more and worse but the time for that was before he did the atrocities to your child#so. here we are!#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#the thing is i love claudia in all mediums she's my girl#but this version is so vulnerable and actually desperate for louis to see her and choose her#whereas while that's not absent from book!claudia she is notably higher on both louis and lestat's list of priorities#and i think more of a player. not that show!claudia isn't shooting her shot but u would never catch book claudia joining the bad news cult#because she's that desperate to be loved#book!lestat genuinely wanted her to stop being mad at him for cursing her to exist in the way they do and go back to playing happy families#evil of my evil etc#louis is sick of their mutual misery but armand really had to fuck with his head to bring the madeline situation about#also i am faintly annoyed that we don't see her souring on the possibility of making friends within the coven more directly#like did she conclude they'd turned too inward to be friends the moment she got that dress?#anyway. regardless. does she not deserve love? and mass murder?
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(self-)defence mechanism
#Michelle Gomez#Doom Patrol#Doom Patrol spoilers#Laura De Mille#Madame Rouge#Ngl the cattish grin made my skin try to turn inside out and/or remove itself entirely#And the crow's feet??? I want her to tear my face off#no I won't even censor that#But also she's doing her best and Eyebrows!Laura could have `approached this so much more effectively#If she'd only chilled with the accusations of immorality#and taken one moment to meet her then-self where she was at#like... she knew what 40s!Laura was going through.#It wasn't that long ago for her at all#I'm just imagining going back in time to myself a decade ago#and yelling at her for all the stuff she hadn't figured out about herself and life yet#just like... the cruelty of it achieves nothing#except a whole new kind of self-loathing#See more in the following set of this convo
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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