#and I’m grateful to each and every one of you

[kissitbttr]

insecure toji :(

—

toji is great at hiding his insecurities. best at it, even.

to be a man you are not allowed to showcase any emotion nor shed a tear in front of anyone. it would bring such great dishonor to family, especially to zenin.

that’s how he was raised by his father. he’s got the marks and bruises to prove it, hasn’t he?

but one thing that toji is very much insecure about is he knows how financially unstable he is.

by any means, he’s not poor. yet, he’s not enough either. and it’s never become a problem for him until he has you.

a beautiful woman whom he had met exactly a year ago at a dingy bar when he had just gotten off from his late shift,

he remembers vividly how you looked that night. sophisticated and gorgeous. a dress that fits your body too well and a voice that could make any man weak at their knees.

it was obvious you had eyes on you as a conversation was shared between you and a few friends, yet you paid no mind at first.

but you took that chance anyway and looked to your right, a small chuckle heaved from you as the man quickly averted his gaze down to his lap with a small blush upon his cheeks. embarrassed that he got caught.

“you came alone?” you asked, resting your chin upon your open palm with a small head tilt,

“y-yeah” he laughs, nodding at you. “just got off from a shift, figured a drink would be nice”

you hum, smiling at the handsome man few feet from you. “graveyard shift?” a little tease won’t hurt,

“something like that” he laughs again and you might be biased because he has the most cutest one you’ve ever heard, “all that and still not enough to treat myself somewhere nice”

a joke but you see how much pain he hides when he says that,

“eh—as long as you’re still alive, there are lots of things that needs to be grateful for” you shrug as you answer. “are you grateful, sir?””

never in his life has he ever heard someone asked him that question,

“very much so, ma’am” he nods yet again, lips stretching into a smile and you catch a glimpse of his thin scar adorning his lips. “or at least i try to be”

you listen well to what he has to say. “try” you repeat the word he just said. “exactly—it’s better to say that rather than completely give up everything—got someone back home?”

he chuckles, lacing his fingers together. “if you meant a three year old son, yes”

“he means a lot to you then?”

“i’d give him the world” he corrects your statement in seconds, thoughts of little megumi clouding his mind. “the only thing that keeps me going”

“well—“ you begin again before saying goodbyes to your friends and colleagues. “that makes him your purpose, then”

he hums, confirming everything what you had just said as the two of your continues to stare into each other’s eyes.

“why don’t you come over here? talk to me more about you” you offer,

“would hate to ruin your evening, ma’am—my shit is far too complex and boring” he chuckles,

you shake your head in disagreement, smiling at him. “every human’s life is complex—it just depends on those people around us who’s willing to sit and listen—and i chose to listen. so come here” you push a stool in front of you with your feet for him to sit on,

little did you know, toji immediately fell in love with you that night,

“i’m broke, angel” he admits out of the blue, earning a glance from you. “i don’t know why you wanted to do anything with me when i could barely give you something”

your brows are furrowed, “toji wha-“

“i saw those two men tonight who came up to you. very well dressed men” he swallows a lump, “they could probably fix your life. seeing the watch on their wrists? i mean” he chuckles with no humor laced in it and it concerns you even mode,

“who wouldn’t?” his eyes then move briefly to yours, whose eyes scanning through his features like there’s something deeply wrong about him. “you’re a beautiful woman with a the kindest soul i’ve ever seen and i’m just the lucky bastard who gets to be with you… I still question myself sometimes ‘why on earth does she wants to be with me?’ “

“they could provide you better” he ends the sentence with a small voice

“baby” you speak with tenderness, fingers quickly moving under his chin and get him to look at you when he refuses. “toji baby, look at me”

and it nearly damn breaks your heart when you see toji struggles to push back his tears,

“where is all of this coming from?”

he shrugs merely as a response, shyly looking down,

“I’m supposed to be the man of the house, treating you nice, getting you jewels and shit but i barely can cover up bills to pay” he admits,

and if silence was the only thing you could hear that night, then a chip of your heart could probably still be heard.

“i don’t fucking care” four words leave your mouth sharply. “what you-we” you correct, “have to go through—i will go through it with you—and i will not leave you behind”

toji releases a breath as your thumb pads against his skin, eyes staring contently into yours with a heart that beats softly for you,

“if i had to sit my ass all night, going through jobs applications, and waking up in the morning to drive you for hundreds of interviews then i will” you firmly state, both hands now cupping his face as you wipe away his small tears.

“i will not just sit and watch you fall” hearing your voice almost breaks is enough to make his heart clench too. “who bought megumi his favorite books yesterday?”

toji gulps. “i did”

“who bought the groceries this month because we wanted to have pasta for dinner?”

“i did” he answers again, hand holding your wrist,

“who made reservations at that crazy expensive restaurant on the South because his demanding ass wanted to treat me something?”

hearing that makes him chuckle, nodding. “me”

“yeah” you confirm. “you did, baby.” a small smile appears on your face. “so as long as you’re able to put food on the table, you’re okay. as long as you’re able to give megumi what he needs, you are not broke. as long as you have a roof over your head, treating me good, we are okay. you hear me?”

he nods once again, feeling his heart fails to finds a steady rhythm by how gentle yet firm you are with your words.

“but you mentioned about the dress—“

“ay, papi—enough” a groan escapes you. “i don’t give a damn about a 2,000 dollar dress knowing you’d probably rip it off of me anyway”

toji releases a loud laugh, his hands moving down to your waist. his forehead knocking softly against yours, holding onto you tightly as if he’s afraid that you will disappear.

it is at this moment that toji realizes at this point that no one would probably put up with him nor understand him like you,

because it is what it is. you love him for him not for the money he owns. you look at the whole landscape and saw a real man. that’s what made you fall in love

“none of that bullshit anymore, okay? please?” you beg with wavering voice, hurt that your boyfriend is feeling this way about everything,

“okay—i’m sorry, angel i just—“

“i get it baby, i get it” you nod, kissing his lips. “but you don’t have to be scared with me, yeah? i got you like you got me. and when shit gets too hard, i’ll still be here for you. for megumi” you promise,

“if that was your way of trying to get rid of me then you need to try harder—i’ve had worse and there’s no way in hell i’m leaving” a playful statement that brings another laugh between you two,

“i’ll put the ring on it one day, princess—i promise” and he will, he knows he will,

you know that too,

“i know baby—i know”

maybe lucky isn’t the only thing he’s feeling when he’s got you

—

not proofread so its probably a mess

[flipppyflopp]

flippy flop you gotta change ur name bc yOUR ART NEVER FLOPS‼‼‼‼‼ AAAAAAASWDHJENSJJSNFJ🗣🗣🗣 HOLY CANNOLI

The way this made me tear up 🥹 THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I can’t express how grateful I am for all the love that my pieces receive. I’m always blown away by the reactions for my pieces and I read each and every reblog and comment they get. I tuck all your words away and use them to motivate me for my future pieces.

Funny inside for my username, I originally wanted my signature to be a flip flop hence the name flippyflopp, but I couldn’t figure out a way to draw one. Like I was taking so much time to draw a flip flop when it was faster to just write out my username. I even thought about having my signature mascot being a seagull holding a broken flip flop…but again, so time consuming and then I came up with Sebcroc and he’s become the icon of my account ever since.

Anyways, excuse my ramblings. Again, thank you all so, so much, you all are the best! 💕

[cregan-starks]

Thank you so much for 600 hits on Flames of Deceit on ao3, everyone!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

I’m so glad and so grateful that you enjoy my silly story 😭 Your comments, reblogs, and feedback mean the world to me, I literally can’t put it into words 🥺 I cherish each and every one of them, and I do my best to respond… coherently 🥴

I’m taking this opportunity to announce that I AM, in fact, working on a sequel for Flames of Deceit 🙈 It’ll be titled Hour of the Wolf, and deal with the immediate aftermath of the Dance. And, of course, it’ll heavily feature Cregan Stark (in the flesh) 👁️👄👁️

If anyone has questions, headcanons, theories, or simply wishes to talk about Flames of Deceit and/or Hour of the Wolf (or anything else, really), my inbox and DMs are always open! 🥰

In the meantime, here are the tumblr and ao3 links to Flames of Deceit, for those who are curious and might want to read it🥂

Thank you so much, forehead kisses for everyone!! 💖

[turtletaubwrites]

Physical and mental health update below the cut. This one sucks. 😩 

It’s very heavy, so please only read it if you have the space for it. I’m so grateful to have such a wonderful group of people actually caring and interacting with me here, and I would hate to negatively affect any of you. I will not be offended if you skip it. Please do 🙏

(content/trigger warnings for: vent post, bipolar disorder, medications, side effects, depression, fear, mention of struggle with past ideations of not wanting to be here)

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THOSE WARNINGS MAY BE TRIGGERING, OR IF THEY ARE TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HOLD RIGHT NOW!!!

Lately I've been stuck in a depressive episode, mainly triggered by the continued work/financial shitstorm that got me put on medical leave back in November. (I haven't posted about the situation because I don't want y'all to send me money. Please donate instead! 🙏🏼)

But now I’ve got a new fucking thing. 

I had a shitty and potentially dangerous reaction to one of the medications I’ve been taking for 3 years. 

This is one of the medications that saved me from my lifelong extreme depressive episodes, and the occasional manic episodes that often ruined my life.

The physical issues it’s caused are awful, and are negatively impacting my daily life, so I should want to stop taking it.

But I’m scared.

I’ve tried so many similar medications, and had terrible side effects for each of them. 

Thankfully, I’ll still have Lithium, which is the only medication that ever got rid of my near daily suicidal ideations that plagued me since I was 13. 

But Lamictal combined with it finally helped me live a real life. Finally let me feel balanced, stable, able to enjoy things, able to fucking function. 

I’m really scared. I’m sorry for trauma dumping here so much, but I don’t have anyone who understands the depth of that darkness, the pain that just fucking existing used to cause me.

I don’t want to go back there. 

Thank you for reading my pain, I hope it doesn’t bring you down too. I’m going to try to remember that I’m not alone.

I'm going to try to hang onto this fulfilling hobby, and this supportive community for as long as I can. I know many of you have said that I can reach out, and I know you're right that there'd be people to talk to.

In fact, I got a message from one of you after my last bipolar update post weeks, maybe a couple months ago? I've been wanting to reply, and it means so much to me. Please know that I read every message, every comment, and it helps me, even if I don't have the spoons to respond.

I'll keep trying to try.

I don't want to go back down into that deep, dark hole.

~ Lynna 💜

[livwritesstuff]

Follow up to the last one (it felt like it could be its own thing), is there something that the girls share that’s just for two of them? Like inside jokes or activities that Moe and Hazel or Robbie and Moe, etc will do? And is there something all three of them consider sacred amongst themselves that not even their dads can participate in (without an extreme amount of reluctance ofc)?

so sorry for the delay in answering these. I used to do all my writing at work bc they weren't giving me enough tasks to fill the day but then my boss got fired last week and everything blew up and now they're actually giving me work to do so there's gonna be an overall pls hold on the writing front

Anyhoo there isn’t really much overlap in Moe, Robbie, and Hazel's major hobbies/interests (which Steve & Eddie are extremely grateful for because they’re competitive enough as is). Like, Moe is way sportier than the other two, Robbie is the musically-inclined one, Hazel does ballet all the way through high school and also has the whole animal sciences thing.

I honestly think Robbie and Moe go through a pretty long phase of not spending a whole ton of “quality time” together. Hanging out for them looks like sitting on their phones on opposite ends of the couch occasionally tagging each other in memes and saying "you lol". They definitely break out their ancient Wii every now and then to play all the old games, and I also think they’d be fully involved in each other’s drama. If Robbie’s friend group is at war with each other (we’ve all been there), Moe is just as glued to Robbie’s phone as Robbie is herself, watching the group chat fall apart and telling her how to respond.

I also think Moe and Robbie would be concert buddies when they're older, and as for activities they bar their dads from -- I 100% think that Robbie and Moe give each other stick-and-pokes in high school, and Moe definitely assists in the (multiple) ear-piercings that Robbie gives herself.

If Hazel needs a sister to rope into filming TikToks, she’s definitely going to Moe first, but Robbie’s the one she’ll ask to go shopping with.

Robbie probably ropes Hazel into all her artsy stuff like, “I’m gonna make Aunt Nancy teach me how to crochet. Wanna come?” (and then they’ll come out the other side with completely different end products).

I'm not sure if there's anything super super sacred between them (though I did read The Penderwicks growing up and this made me think of the MOPS - Meeting of Penderwick Sisters) so they might have little movie nights where they all pile into Moe's bed with snacks and a laptop balanced on their knees, and Steve and Eddie are like...hello???

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Happy New Year!!!

Wishing the new year to be filled with good things and health for you all <3

Also wanted to say thank you to everyone who have stuck with me over this past year! It’s been quite a slow and rough one, not been able to post or crest as much due to life, but we made it through, and will continue on steadily and happily!

Let’s hope that this upcoming year will be kinder than the last :]

[euphemiaamillais]

ahhh tysm for 1k guys!!! 🥺🥺🥺🎀🎀🎀

[comfortless]

actually.

i’ve been nonstop flipping between either writing an actual canon compliant König or another long-winded, silly, historical thing.

and this blog has grown to an extent that i never thought it would!! probably would be best to just …shyly ask for you all’s opinion on which you would like to see first ^^

[kuiinncedes]

:c

[ratmonky]

we hit 3.5k ToT you know what that means (;

let the requests/aks flow through!!

- any character or fandom

- will try to answer everything and it will take a while since i’m a bit busy but i’ll try to answer as many as i can throughout the week

- ask me anything as well ig?

- commentary on fics??? lol i miss doing those

[quietwingsinthesky]

actually funny story regarding prev post but when my friend forced my to watch Red White and Royal Blue, at one point I said something along the lines of “They’re probably going to break up in a few years anyway, despite all this fuss.” and she accused me of trying to ruin the movie for her. And then I did not say the next thing I thought because she was already annoyed at me, which was “Why does them breaking up in the future matter if the story is about them being in love now?”

[brisquad-unit-4402]

san ni ichi let’s rock

thank you all for 321 followers, and the support you’ve shown me as a writer

[leonsliga]

God, I love our Leon fan tumbler community so much. I was devastated when I found out that Leon wasn't nominated. But I've talked to you, Bri, and I've read so many messages from people who share my opinion. And it made me feel better, it helps me overcome disappointment. Bri, thank you for creating an atmosphere here where everyone can express their opinion.

I’m extremely biased, I know, but in my eyes, our community here is the best there is ❤️ I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought that I have the best anons in the world. Seriously, all of you are amazing and I love you so much!!

I’ll be honest: I can’t tell you how often I’ll go to Twitter, Instagram, or YouTube and see so much hate there. No constructive criticism, just scathing comments. It makes me so grateful for all of you here on footyblr. Somehow we’ve created this little corner of the world where we can talk about these things openly without being mean to each other for doing so, and I love that.

I know that the news today was disappointing to say the least, but I’m glad that I was able to help you feel a bit better and perhaps a little bit less alone 🫂 that means the absolute world to me! But truthfully, I need to thank you all just as much—you included, dear anon! Whether you send me anon asks, leave comments, or just lurk around from time to time, I’m really grateful for you. It’s you all who make this place a safe one, and I can’t thank you enough.

[satoruxx]

WAIT WHEN DID WE HIT 300?????

stop i’m so grateful you guys tysm 🥹💔💔

[vrmxlho]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! although i haven’t been on tumblr too long i still appreciate every single one of you :)))

[daisyprayers]

I just want to say that I’m so happy you’re alive. I remember finding your blog and your story. I remember seeing you post, I think on YouTube, that it was your last post ever. I’m so proud of you for continuing to fight and I hope that you continue finding joy.

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you care enough to send a sweet message like this. It’s hard and exhausting but having the support of lovely folks like you is truly encouraging.

Right now I’m finding joy in the fact that I’m going to a fair tomorrow! It’s always the weekend of my birthday (also known as the autumn equinox) and I’ve been going there to celebrate since I was little. This is the first year since COVID that it’s been on. I thought I’d never go again, so I’m really excited!

I hope you have a lovely day 💛