#and I’m glad most nights I’m able to kinda sit and

[fulokis]

Yeah… I’m not having the best time rn

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

3: COMPANY

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Bucky wants his best friends to get to know his girlfriend but a little voice makes him worry that there may be more going on between you and Steve.

Word count: 2.5k

Warning: miscommunications and Bucky Barnes being a colossal idiot (theme of this whole story)

Steve and Bucky walked down the corridor towards the large living room with the massive television screen. Their arms laden with drinks and snacks for themselves, you and Priya. Bucky wanted his best friends to get to know his girlfriend better and you'd begrudgingly agreed to a movie night, comforted by the knowledge that Steve would be present as a buffer for awkward questions.

Steve was smiling softly, happy to be able to relax with the people he cared most about without being interrupted to save the world. His self imposed responsibilities weighed heavily on his mind. Distractions where he could be Steve and not Captain America were hard to find. One of the things he loved about you and Bucky was that you both were his voice of reason, between the two of you, you would argue different sides of a point, until he was happy with the decision he had made. This was why seeing the two of you as a team made him so happy.

You had made yourself comfortable on yours and Bucky's favorite couch. It was just big enough for you and the beefy super soldier and in your mind, you imagined yourself and Bucky being comfortable under a throw blanket while you watched the movie. Your day dream was shattered as Priya dropped into the seat beside you.

"Oh gosh, this is so comfortable! Such a cuddle couch." She elbowed your side gently. "Hey, you think Bucky and I could sit here for the movie?"

It took every inch of your self control to stop a scowl from marring your features. "Sorry to be all Sheldon about this, but this is kinda my spot."

"Oh, yeah, I get it." She didn't, looking at you like she was indulging one of her young patients who was throwing a tantrum. “Do you mind if I sit until Jamie and Steve get back?”

"Sure." You tried to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. You had to play nice, for Bucky's sake.

"Hey Cricket, can I ask you something?" Priya’s voice was slightly hesitant.

"Course. What is it?" You replied. But you had a strong feeling you weren’t going to like what she was going to ask you and steeled yourself for it.

"Do you and Jamie have any history of being more than… just friends?"

"No." You suppressed a sigh. You had expected an annoying comment, as opposed to something that would break your heart all over again. "No, just friends. Why’d you ask?" You felt suspicious of her line of questioning.

"Oh, I was just curious. I know you're not his type and all, so I wasn't very worried about it, but I figured there's always a possibility." She shrugged.

"Bucky and I have never been anything more than friends." You confirmed through gritted teeth, and it was killing you.

"Okay," Priya smiled happily. "That makes me feel better. I really like him, and I just wanted to make sure there weren't any lingering feelings between you two."

"I'm happy for you," you lied through a smile.

"Thanks, Cricket. I appreciate that. And I'm glad we had this conversation, it's always good to clear the air."

"Absolutely."

"Thanks for being so understanding. You're a great friend, I’m glad that James and I have you."

Steve and Bucky as they paused momentarily, not wanting to interrupt your conversation, but at the same time, curious about what you were saying. They both felt a little awkward for eavesdropping but they didn’t feel comfortable making their presence known. Steve glanced over at Bucky, wondering what his reaction would be, but Bucky’s face was bathed in darkness and impossible to read.

When Priya said she was glad to have you as a friend, Steve nudged him gently. "Come on," he jerked his head, urging Bucky to follow. He walked into the lounge and deposited the snacks on the table in front of you and Priya.

"Thanks, Steve!" you reached forwards to grab a bowl of popcorn, but Bucky was blocking you. You swatted his legs playfully. "Buck! What’re you doing?"

"Cricket, can you move over a bit so I can sit with Priya?" Bucky looked at you with wide eyes and pouty lips. How could you say no?

Reluctantly, you got off the couch, Bucky giving you a questioning frown as you did so. You shuffled over and settled in next to Steve, feeling a stab of disappointment that Bucky had chosen to sit with Priya instead of you.

"Did you ladies pick a movie?" Steve asked.

You shook your head, but Priya volunteered a suggestion in a heartbeat. "You've Got Mail!"

Steve pulled up the film from Tony’s endless supply of media and hit play. As the movie started, you tried to focus on the screen, but your eyes kept gazing over to Priya and Bucky and how his arm was draped cozily over her shoulder. Your mind kept wandering back to the conversation you just had with Priya. You couldn’t help but wish that there had been more between you and your best friend. What made her think that you weren’t his type? You bristled at the thought. Bucky had never expressed his preferences to a woman’s appearance. Had he mentioned something to her?

Steve noticed your distraction and leaned over to whisper in your ear. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, trying to push aside your feelings of jealousy and insecurity. "I’m fine," you whispered back. "Just a little tired."

Steve gave you a knowing look, but didn’t press the issue. Instead he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, offering you comfort and support. As the movie played on, you found yourself leaning into Steve’s side, feeling safe and protected in his presence. You couldn’t help but wonder what could have been if things had been different between you and Bucky.

As you and Steve turned back to the movie, Priya leaned towards Bucky and whispered to him conspiratorially. "I think Cricket and Steve make such a cute couple, don't you think? They looked so cozy on their Coney Island date!"

Bucky looked down at her with surprise. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t feared that you and Steve might be more than friends, but it shocked him that other people considered it. As long as he was the only one to think it, he could have lived in denial, but having someone else voice it with such confidence made his skin crawl.

"Um, I don't know. They seem to get along well as friends."

"Oh come on, Jamie. I can see the way they look at each other. We should totally set them up! I mean look how he has his arm around her!" 

Bucky hummed with hesitation. "I don't think that's a good idea, Priya."

"Why not? They would be perfect together!"

"I just...I don't think it's the right time for them to start dating." Bucky answered, not avoiding eye contact, his eyes glued to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Priya was starting to sense that something was off. "Jamie, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Look, Steve doesn’t really talk to people about this, but he had a girl, back in the 40s, Peggy. He isn’t over her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them to enter a relationship when Steve still has feelings for Peggy." Bucky winced internally, hating himself for using Steve’s past to cover for himself.

"Wow, I had no idea," Priya said softly, her eyes widening in surprise. "That must be really tough for him."

Bucky nodded, feeling a pang of guilt for using Steve’s past as an excuse. "Yeah, it’s been hard for him. He’s never really gotten over her."

Priya looked thoughtful for a moment before turning back to Bucky. "Well, I’m glad you told me. I wouldn’t want to cause any unnecessary drama. They're lucky to have you looking out for them."

Bucky gave her a terse smile, grateful that she understood. "No problem. I just want what’s best for both of them."

As the movie came to an end, you and Steve exchanged a look, both of you feeling a sense of contentment and comfort in each other’s presence. Despite the awkwardness and tension that had filled the room earlier, you were grateful for the friendship and support that you had in each other. Unfortunately for the two of you, your closeness did nothing to assuage the envy that burned deep inside Bucky.

As everyone got up to leave, Priya turned to you and Steve with a smile. "Thanks for the movie night, guys. I had a great time."

You and Steve both nodded, returning her smile. "Anytime," you said, feeling a sense of relief that the night had gone smoothly.

As you and Steve walked out of the living room together, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for having him by your side. Maybe things weren’t meant to be with Bucky, but you knew that you had a true friend in Steve, someone who would always be there for you no matter what.

On the other hand, Bucky went to bed that night with Priya’s words burned on the back of his brain. Why did she think that there might have been something between him and you? She had worsened his fears about you and Steve. Would his oldest friend really betray his trust that way? Surely you would have mentioned that to him, wouldn’t you? The tiny voice in his head that sounded just like you, asked him why he would assume such a thing, since he had hidden his relationship for so long. 

*

Your voice of conscience in his mind did nothing to mitigate his turbulent thoughts. In fact they swirled around his brain until he found himself confronting you about them. This was becoming too common an occurrence. He blurted out the words while he found you training in the gym.

"You went to Coney Island with Steve." He tried to sound nonchalant as he spotted you with your weights.

You grunted your response, trying to stand up with the heavy weight balanced across your shoulders. Eyes screwed shut with the effort of pushing your knees apart to push yourself upright. You panted slightly, trying to recover your composure, but Bucky wasn’t ready to give up on his point.

"Why didn’t you tell me you were going?"

"Oh, I’m sorry," you attempted a shrug before going back into a squat. "It was Steve’s idea and honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal since you were busy with Priya."

"It is a big deal! We promised we'd go together."

Your face dropped slightly as you stood up, remembering the promise you’d made almost a year ago. Things had been so chaotic and you’d forgotten about it. You put the barbell back on the rack before replying. "I know, and I was really looking forward to it." There was a sadness in your tone that you couldn’t hide. "But when you started dating Priya, I thought things had changed. I didn’t think you’d care."

"That doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out. You’re my best friend, too." Bucky leaned against the rack, as you busied yourself with unloading the bar.

"I know, and I’m sorry." You hid your face as you answered. "I just felt left out when you didn’t tell me about Priya."

"I’m sorry, I know I should’ve told you. But seeing you at Coney Island with Steve really hurt."

"Wait," you spun around with surprise. "You saw me at Coney Island?"

"Yeah…" Bucky’s anger abated slightly as he realized what he was saying to you.

You huffed. "You were there?"

Bucky had the decency to look ashamed.

"And you’re getting on my case? I mean Steve took me there as a surprise to cheer me up after I got sick. I didn’t decide to go there without you. And it’s not like Steve knew about our promise. What were you doing there, Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I was there with Priya. We were on a date."

You felt a pang of jealousy and hurt, but you pushed it down but the aggression in your tone was unmistakable. "I see. Well, I’m sorry if I upset you by being there with Steve. But I'd like to point out that you didn't seem to have any issues going with Priya."

Bucky looked at you, his expression softening. "I’m sorry, Cricket. I should’ve told you about Priya - about Coney Island, about dating her. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just…"

You nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. "It’s okay, Bucky. Just…next time, can you please just be honest with me?"

"Yeah," Bucky nodded. "and hey, you'd tell me if you were, right? As in dating… someone."

"Yeah, I'll keep you apprised." You rolled your eyes and shook your head with a small laugh.

"Even if it was Steve?"

“Why do you keep asking me that? Are you trying to set me up with Steve? Because I don't have those kinds of feelings for him.”

“You don’t? Because Priya said-”

"Bucky, why don't you ask me about me instead of your girlfriend?" The irritation you'd felt about his indignation earlier rose inside you again, enough that you decided to walk away from it.

He caught up to you outside the gym, heart pounding in his chest. "Hey, Cricket," he called out, his voice filled with sincerity. "I’m sorry for how I acted back there. I was wrong, and I shouldn’t have let my jealousy get the best of me. Can we talk?"

You turned to face him, your expression guarded but curious. "What do you want to talk about, Bucky?"

Bucky took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "I want to apologize for not being upfront with you. I value our friendship, and I don’t want to lose that because of my own insecurities. I’m sorry for hurting you… and I want to make things right."

You studied him for a moment, your eyes searching his handsome face for sincerity. The way he looked back at you softened your resolve and after a moment, you nodded. “I appreciate your apology, Bucky. Let’s move past this and focus on our friendship.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he heard your words. "Of course. And hey, maybe we can still go to Coney Island together sometime. Just the two of us."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "I’d like that."

Bucky fell in step beside you, as you walked away from the gym, the tension between you slowly dissipating. He knew he had a lot of work to do to rebuild the trust between you, but he was willing to put in the effort. He was grateful for your forgiveness and determined to show you that he was a true friend, even if he couldn't have anything more.

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[denwritesandcries]

gf!Shauna Shipman HCs

Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader

Summary: To be Shauna's girlfriend is… Something else, to say at least.

Word count: 1,4k.

Content: 96’ timeline, cursing, suggestive, kissing, kinda toxic shauna, jealousy, fluff, the team being done with u two.

Note: I think that’s probably a little too long for headcanons but I’m really glad someone asked for it cause I love writing for Shauna sm.

English is not my first language.

- You most likely only spoke to each other because you were paired up on some project in a class that you both hate. A classic, but also one of the few ways for Shauna to actively approach anyone she hasn't known for years or been introduced to by Jackie, the girl isn't very sociable.

- She definitely found the most random and stupid reason possible to not like you at first, just because she enjoys being a little hater.

- Like she doesn't want to meet with you to discuss the topic and just leaves you to do your part alone and you just do it because this quiet girl on the football team is pretty hot and also scares the hell out of you.

- When you guys inevitably put it all together she'd take one look at it and say it's shit and make you do it all from scratch again in like one night as if it was your fault.

- And you simply wouldn't understand why she decided to pick on you. She’d have a beef with you that only exists in her head and you’ll be like??? Wondering why the heck she keeps staring at you like a judging hare even after getting (surprisingly) an A+.

(that’s a strangely accurate description, but you think it fits her perfectly well. Eyes widen following you and nose angrily twitching when you pass by.)

- She has a crush on you. Since the beginning. But she has too many problems to actually admit that to herself.

- She would finally admit that fell for you when she sees you reading something by an author she loves. She's a cliché and a failure, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You'd be in the stands during one of the Yellowjackets' practices (by pure chance, definitely not because you want to watch her too), with a notebook open at your side and a book on your lap, working on an assignment for extra credit, Shauna would see you when she stopped to have some water and she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day.

Especially if it was something by Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson or Shirley Jackson. She’d go feral. Seriously.

- Then she finally decides to act (after some suspicious looks from Jackie and screams from Taissa for disturbing everyone during the game) and it's like she was never mean to you. She’ll literally act like she's already your friend because she doesn't know how to apologize and start something properly. Will sit next you in class – and kick out whoever actually sat there – and talk to you normally, looking away and chewing on the end of her pen, speaking in a soft and innocent voice.

- You're very much confused and a little suspicious about all this, but you're not gonna complain about it with her slowly running a hand up your arm and blinking her bright deep eyes at you. Even though she still stares. A lot.

- This is how you get a girlfriend, which isn't really what you expected at all, but it's a pretty welcome change.

- gf!Shauna who only asked you out and took you for a milkshake on your first date, even though she doesn't really like sweets, when she heard Nat tell Van that she was thinking about doing that exactly same thing and finally decided to do something (they did it on purpose, just so that Shauna would stop bothering them with her constant yearning).

- gf!Shauna who accompanies you to all your classes, sometimes even being late for hers. She is so show off carrying your backpack for you and walking close enough for your shoulders to brush and rushing to Jackie's side after opening the door for you.

- gf!Shauna who keeps a hand on you all the time, on your shoulder, on your waist, on your arm, but who is too shy to hold your hand and intertwine your fingers properly. She'll become a mess if you hold her hand in the hallways or in front of the team and pretend like she doesn't like it, complaining that you're being clingy (she won't let you let go of her hand at all though).

- gf!Shauna who is jealous and possessive as fuck, no one is safe from her, not even Jackie. She will shoot daggers with her eyes and scare anyone who even breathes near you in a way that makes her feel insecure. Especially if it's someone on the team. Lottie is usually a recurring target of her reactions, making a point of keeping as much distance as possible from Shauna on the field after she sees her talking to you.

- Will totally pretend not to care and say there's nothing wrong when you ask if she's alright, while silently seething with rage and acting weird towards you, keeping everything to herself until she eventually explodes. gf!Shauna who waits until she's alone to write shit about you and the other person in her diary with a horrible, rushed handwriting.

- gf!Shauna, with whom you have to be really patient.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have study dates where she actually makes you study because she won't admit being with someone with a poor average, but who will start kissing you pretty quick until she ends up straddling you the moment she gets tired and decides you both had enough.

- gf!Shauna who absolutely loves seeing you in the stands during practice or a game. She'll show off like never before as soon as she realizes you've come, especially if you yell or cheer for her when she scores a goal. Nat, Lottie and Tai are rolling eyes hard for you two every single time.

- gf!Shauna who takes you in her car wherever you want and whenever you want, driving with one hand on the steering and an elbow resting on the window. Who looks at you with her big eyes shining like a kicked puppy if you ever say you don't need a ride.

- gf!Shauna who has the worst, most questionable taste in movies ever and who gets outraged if you mention it or try to get her to change her choice on a movie night. She's too stubborn to change her mind, so you settle for admiring her profile and leaning back against her warm body on the couch.

- gf!Shauna with whom you have almost weekly sleepovers because her parents are too oblivious to realize there’s something between you. Sleeping in her bed under the pretext that the floor is too cold and keeping the door closed so as not to bother anyone with your teenage nonsense and loud music. It's the perfect combination.

- gf!Shauna who keeps her favorite polaroids of you on your dates alongside the photos of her and Jackie on her bedroom wall.

- gf!Shauna who's always the big spoon and loves feeling your body against hers. She's practically a furnace, perfect for hiding your face on her neck or chest. The best way to fall asleep is with her arms around you and your face buried in her soft skin.

- gf!Shauna who loves to bite and leave marks for every inch of exposed skin you have. Who bites your shoulder joint and digs her nails into your back when you have her pressed against the mattress or the lockers in the changing room.

- gf!Shauna who goes crazy when she sees you in her clothes, especially her button-down shirts and flannels. Sometimes even hides your clothes just to have the excuse to give you hers, because she doesn't know how to ask you to wear them.

- gf!Shauna who writes cheesy and lame love poems for you like a victorian poet, because she doesn't know how to express herself in words without being on impulse or in a fight. You always praise her and thank her a thousand times for them, without letting her know that you don't understand most of what she writes.

- gf!Shauna who demands you tell her you love her before she does it first. She literally asks for it. And then she only says it back weeks later, rushed and nervous, at the moment you least expect it.

[burn-before-reading]

Love in the Time of Socialism

joost klein x artist!reader

art, mush, and ramblings about life

warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk

word count: 2k

a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything

title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Rpf below the cut—

Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.

So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.

Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.

But you can’t ignore him.

“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”

“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.

“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”

Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.

“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”

“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.

“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”

“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”

“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.

“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

-

Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.

You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.

The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.

“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.

“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”

“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.

He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.

“Its okay to take a break, you know.”

“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”

“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.

“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.

“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I would paint.”

“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”

“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.

“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.

you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.

tap tap tap tap

“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”

the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.

“what are you painting?”

“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.

“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.

“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”

tap tap tap tap tap tap

you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.

“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.

“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”

“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”

You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”

“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.

“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”

Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”

“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.

You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.

-

“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.

“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”

“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”

he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.

You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.

It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.

[ornii]

Folie à deux

The Madness of Two,

2020, The Grammys.

Your feet pattered the limousine floor as you checked your watch, a slight panic in your face. It was the Grammys this night and with your almost meteoric rise to stardom, this is the first time you’ve felt, Anxious about it. You take a deep breath and relax, slowly letting the world fade around you. It always seems so otherworldly.

It all began with posting a few SoundCloud songs, eventually one blew up and it seems your music name began to make the rounds. Taking that opportunity, you released an album under your name and it spread like Wildfire, big Celebes we’re posting snippets on social media and overnight, you somehow took over the world.

Media deals. Record Labels, Advertisers, all were hounding for you. The next big thing, and it seems it all lead to a climax and here you were. Pulling up to the Grammys, you took a few deep breaths and waited for the door to be opened for you, as your chauffeur did, cameras flashed, cheers and screams were all over the place. You put on a smile and head inside to the main foyer, you were greeted by the obvious managers of said Grammys and was Starstruck by those inside, Multi record winning Artists, people who are considered gods. You were standing with somehow. Your awe was cut off by a voice.

“Mr (L/N)?” They ask, you turn around to a woman with a mic, not a reporter but the woman managing the seating.

“I’m glad you made it safe, if it’s okay with you, you’ll be seated next to Ortega.” She said, you raised an eyebrow slightly.

“Brian Ortega? I didnt know he liked the Grammys.” You say and she chuckles.

“No no, Miss Ortega.” She said; which Just confused you even more, you shrugged.

“Uh, Sure.” You say, you began to mingle, trying to keep up appearances as some of the most influential artists Dawned your presence. Ranging from Movie directors like Spielberg, to Multi Grammy winners like Canadas own, Aubrey Graham, better known as Drake. Ten minutes to countdown you reach your seat and relax. Everyone begins to get ready, and your train of though was on what you would say if you would, could possibly win a Grammy.

“Hey.” A Voice draws your attention and you turn to face it, and your eyes laid upon someone that made the world grind to a halt, all you could see were those beautiful eyes, soft skin and a smile that could make the darkest moments in your life shine like a supernova. and it finally dawned on you, you’re Sitting next to, Jenna Ortega. You remember when Iron Man 3 was released in Theaters, and the Vice Presidents daughter that Tony had to save, that was her! And stuck in the middle! It took moments for you to realize the impact She actually had on you.

“O-oh! Hi!” You day, your voice cracking slightly as you try not to get lost in her eyes. She offers a slight handshake and you take it, not really able to speak.

“Jenna.” She says.

“Y-yeah I’ve seen a lot of your movies I—“ you begin, but stop trying not to sound like a fanboy in front of her. She genuinely smiles at her.

“Thanks. I don’t mean to pry but you are working on more music right? With that much talent you can’t stop right?” She says and you nod.

“Anything for you.” You thought, “Shit that’s creepy why did I say that?! JUST BE COOL.” You think and nod.

“Yeah, didnt think I’d get this far, nice to meet someone my age, makes me less anxious.

“I know, feels kind heavy, doesn’t it?” She says, “All these celebs, kinda feels weird being here.” She says awkwardly. And you build up the courage to utter one sentence.

“It should, you deserve to be here.” You say, it actually catches her off guard and she can only smile and say “Thanks.”, genuinely. You two hush as the ceremony begins. It was fairly uneventful, besides You and Tyler the Creator tweeting memes at each other, before the first set of awards were given, and one of the main four was presented. Best New Artist of the Year, it was heavily contested, Alaina Castillo, Summer Walker, Normani, Giveon. You definitely wanted Giveon, Heartbreak anniversary was your jam. As Keke Palmer took the stage she has the envelope and smiles.

“Good luck.” You hear Jenna say from the side and, that boosts your confidence to levels you couldn’t imagine.

“And the Grammy for Best New Artist goes to… Your Very own! (Y/n) (L/n)!” She says and the crowd explodes, the look of shock was on your face, you rose up being congratulated by many, Jenna claps for you as you approach the stage, still stunned. You take the Grammy with a look of sheer luck and disbelief, you stand there at the Mic and just stand there for a moment.

“Uh- Sorry i had no idea I was gonna be here.” You say and they laugh, you shrug it off.

“Well, I suppose I should say something.. first thing is, well it’s been a crazy year, I went from barley making college payments to buying my parents a new house, cars, anything they could ever want and, it’s all thanks to you all.” Your anxiety was soon filled with sadness and cheers began to bellow.

“You all don’t know how much this means to me, thank you. And, god bless you all.” You raise the Grammy to a rousing applause, you return back to your seat and wipe a few tears. But a tissue was handed to you, but none other than Jenna. You two share a smile and keep the Ceremony going, but I hope you didn’t expect just one.

“Song of The Year! Album of The Year! Record of the Year!” After the third one you hear the song play as you head up with the last one and you take it, and you turn to everyone awkwardly.

“Okay i didnt expect to be up here four times.” You say to more laughter, you try to keep it short and sweet. “Seriously this is becoming a bad trend, I’m just some kid from nowhere, and you all believed in me, and I’m so glad you put your trust in me, in us. My team, my family, my fans, these are all for you.” You hold up the fourth Grammy and as usual it was arousing applause.

Nearing the End of the celebration you walk out of the Grammys with Four, FOUR; in your first appearance there. Two under your arms and to in your hands. You attempt to show them all laughing. But before you can continue you turn around to Jeanna who’s taking pictures of her own and motion her over, to take pictures with you, she rolls her eyes sarcastically as the anxiety and fear washed away to golden confidence. You both pose for the pictures and they flash so desperate for a header and they got one.

“(Y/n) (L/n) and Jenna Ortega? What could this mean for the two blossoming stars?”

[shaybreezy-17]

Zoro’s First Time

(Zoro x F!Reader)

TW: Explicit content (smut), suggestive behavior, inappropriate language, potential substance use.

Reader discretion advised.

For ages: 18+

———————————————————————

You sat outside on the deck, a bottle in your hand. You weren’t even close to drunk, just properly buzzed, hoping to grow tired soon.

It was deep into the night, maybe 1 A.M., if you could guess. Everyone had just gone to bed, but not you.

You were fairly new to the Straw Hats and you guys just got back from a particularly intense adventure. You were glad to be part of the crew, but you couldn’t shake all of the pain and bloodshed you and everyone around you endured throughout your recent battle.

A shiver rolled down your spine as you pictured your Captain, Luffy, unconscious. He was utterly exhausted, despite the fight being a couple days ago now. It was now day 3, and he was still out like a light.

You bit back tears, trying not to think about the beatings you took yourself. Your body was in pain, but you felt you had no place to complain as you didn’t have it nearly as bad as most of the others.

Placing your thoughts on the back burner, you got up from the floor of the deck. After grabbing another beer from the kitchen, you decided to pay Zoro a visit in the crows nest where he liked to keep watch.

You figured it wouldn’t hurt, since neither of you could sleep anyway. That, and, the fact that you secretly found Zoro attractive.

When you got to the door, you stood there for a moment, taking a deep breath. You hoped he wouldn’t be annoyed by you stopping by, but you kept your expectations 6 feet under, because you never know with the grumpy Swordsman.

You slowly opened the door. Zoro, who was facing away from you, whipped his head around, hand reaching for the swords attached to his hip.

“Oh, it’s just you.” He said, voice monotone. His body eased up and the grip around his swords loosened. “Did you need something, Y/N?”

“No, I just wanted to check up on you.” You smiled. “Brought you a beer.”

“Uh, thank you.” He replied, reluctantly taking the beer from your hand. “But I’m doing fine.”

“I also can’t sleep, so I was kinda hoping for some company.” You walked over, sitting next to him.

He awkwardly shifted away from you, just a tad. Ouch.

“Do you have an issue with me, Zoro?” Your voice deepened. The Swordsman was definitely taking longer to warm up to you compared to everyone else in the crew and you wanted to know if it was just how he was or if he genuinely didn’t like you.

He glanced over at you, expression hardening. “I never said I did. But you came in here to check on me like I’d need saving from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Your eyebrow raised so far up into your forehead, it was sure to have left a wrinkle. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You wouldn’t be able to do much with your size and strength. If anything, I’d be the one saving you.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“First of all, I’m nowhere near weak and petite, you just have enough strength to make any girl feel small around you…” You paused, expression softening. “Look, Zoro, I know I’m only a few weeks into the crew and you probably see me as a worthless addition, but I’m gonna prove myself, kay? Just take a chance on me.”

His eyes failed to meet mine. He looked down at his swords, fiddling with the handles. “If there’s a reason Luffy wants you here, I have no objections.”

“That’s it?” you blurted out, almost way too fast.

“I saw you fighting out there.” He smirked. “You’re feisty, I’ll give you that.”

Your cheeks felt hot. “Oh, thanks. I was pretty terrified. I’m sure you could see that too.”

“At least you’re not dead.” He replied, expressionless once again.

“I saw you too, Zoro. I’d say you’ve really mastered the art of Swordsmanship.” You said, offering a warm smile.

“No, not yet. Not until I become the worlds greatest.” He sunk into his seat, running his hand through his green hair.

You took this opportunity to scoot a bit closer to him. “That’s been your main focus for so long now you probably don’t get to enjoy things most people your age do.” You whispered.

To your surprise, he didn’t scoot away. “Well, I drink like everyone else. There’s not much else to it.”

“That’s true but, have you ever been in love?” You bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you hadn’t gone too far.

“Me? Never.” His gaze sharpened. “Love would distract me from being the greatest swordsman in the world.”

“Okay, I can see your point. What about more physical types of activities?”

“Like sports?”

“Mm, no. Like physical activities involving two people…” You wondered if his cluelessness would prevail.

“Like a battle?” He raised his eyebrow in confusion. “I battle all the time, I thought you knew this by now?”

“Oh gosh.” You sighed, facepalming. “Sex, Zoro. I mean sex.”

His eyes widened, face turning slightly red. “Why would you assume I haven’t?”

“What? No, no.” You threw your hands up in the air feigning innocence. “I don’t think you’re a virgin or anything but I’m sure it’s been a while…”

“I’ve never done it before. I’ve been training ever since I was little so I’ve never had time for that.” He admitted.

Your eyes fell to the floor. “Oh.”

“Is that a problem for you?” He asked, seemingly offended.

“No, not at all. I just wonder how much better your workouts would benefit you if you were sexually active.” You shifted closer to him, resting your body against his side.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused. The poor moss head was clueless.

“I mean there’s tons of benefits to having sex. For one, it relieves pain.” You ran your finger across his chest, tracing his scar. “It eases stress.” He watched you, intently. “The sleep afterward is heavenly…” Your finger dipped down to his tree trunk of a thigh. “I mean, the list goes on.”

“So, would this help me become a better swordsman?” He asked, bulge aching with an unfamiliar sensation.

“I mean, don’t take my word for it, I’m not a scientist or anything. It’s just word of mouth…” You tried to speak casually, but you had an ache between your legs too.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You propped yourself on his lap, facing him.

“Hey?! Y/N! What are you doing?” His cheeks were pink, but his expression showed surprise and anger.

“Eh hem” You cleared your throat. “Roronoa Zoro, may I please, have the honor of having sex with you?”

“Eh?!” His eyes grew so wide they were practically popping out of his skull. “Y/N, are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Zoro, I’ve been into you since I first met you but you’re too clueless to see that!” You threw your hands up in the air, still on his lap. “I don’t expect a relationship or anything, I know you’re too focused on being the best swordsman. But, who says we can’t be intimate from time to time?”

“I’m not someone you should be into.” He retorted, raising his eyebrow. “But, if you feel us being intimate will help me improve…” His eyes shot to the floor.

“I do. But, I also don’t want to push you!” You replied. “If you’d like to do this with me, I’d love to, but I’m fine with waiting until you’re ready if it’s not now.” You smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

His expression softened, you watched his eyes trail along your body. You’d never seen Zoro look at a woman for this long before…

His hands lightly rested on your hips. “Well my shirt is already off, Y/N…”

You blushed, pulling your top over your head, taking it off. You had no bra on so you felt extra exposed.

His eyes focused on your nipples. You grabbed his hands and guided them along your body until they reached your breasts.

Zoro’s expression was unreadable, but the hardness of his dick below you wasn’t.

“You can squeeze if you’d like.” You whispered.

He silently nodded, cupping your boobs, squeezing here and there. You leaned forward for him to suck on them, to which he complied.

As you leaned forward, Zoro slid your pants and panties down to your knees, while you were still straddling him. You gasped in surprise.

With your nipple still in his mouth, he fumbled eagerly with the waste-band in his pants and pulled his dick out, slapping it against your already soaking wet pussy.

“Wait Zoro!” You yelped, stifling a moan. “I wanna be your first for something else first, too!”

You got off of him and he watched you in silence, confused.

You fell to your knees and took his pants and boxers off completely. Sitting on your knees, propped between his legs, you bent forward taking his dick deeply into your mouth.

It was long and more importantly, thick.

Zoro couldn’t help it. He threw his head back, letting out a loud groan. You sucked just enough for him to edge and then you stopped once you felt his dick throb in your throat.

He propped his head up to look at you in confusion and annoyance. “What was that for? I was almost there…”

You giggled, taking your pants off all the way, clumsily and propping yourself back on to his lap. “You’re so cute when you’re whiny.”

“Hey! I’m not-”

And with that, you slid yourself on to his dick, not even letting him finish his sentence.

“Fuck, Y/N!” He groaned. You rode him even faster, feeling the vibration of your cheeks jiggle up and down as you bounced on his cock. “You’re gonna pay for this.”

His hands flew to your ass, gripping it helplessly. Drool was pooling at the sides of his mouth as he bit his lip, desperately trying not to whimper but he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Without thinking, he flipped you over so you were under him. He knew if you kept riding him, he would’ve came then and there so he had to take control of the situation.

He pinned your arms above your head as he pounded into you. You hoped the loud squeaking of the booth wouldn’t wake the whole crew up, but your moans might’ve already done it first.

He was showing no mercy. With every thrust, you felt your pussy tighten around him, with a burning sensation building up within your whole body. You let out a string of breathy moans that Zoro quickly covered with the one hand that wasn’t holding yours above your head.

You were in complete, total bliss. He was fucking you like a jackrabbit and you were surely going to be sore for the next week at least, but it hurt so good. He had found your g-spot for what felt like ages ago, so it was just a matter of how many times he could make you cum now. Your pussy was a sopping mess at this point, your body spasmed as you squirmed under him, but his grip on your arms was firm. You were probably on your 4th orgasm in a row, as tears ran down your face and the sweat on your forehead made your hair stick to it.

Letting go of your mouth and arms, he shifted his body forward so it was fully hovering over you. His pace slowed as his face was in the crook of your neck, breath hot and heavy.

You relaxed under him, half dick drunk. He kept a slow, consistent pace and you could tell he was finally close to being done. He peppered kisses along your neck, making your entire body shiver. As you wrapped your legs around him tightly, you searched for his lips. You tugged on his hair, causing a moan to escape his lips as he lifted his head up to look at you. You reached up to pull his face back down to yours, sharing a kiss. For someone who might’ve never kissed before, or done anything for that matter, he was making you feel amazing.

As you came down from another blissful orgasm, he followed closely behind, letting out a string of moans and groans before collapsing on top of you.

“I can’t believe it took you that long to cum for your first time!” you whined, out of breath.

“I came earlier too, what do you mean?” He asked, scratching his forehead, in confusion as he sat up.

“You came more than once?” You smirked, but then the realization hit. “INSIDE ME?!”

“Yeah? It felt so good, I couldn’t help it.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, I did say you were gonna pay for riding me like that…”

“Zoro! What if I get pregnant? That’s how babies are made, ya know!” You yelled, examining the glistening folds between your legs.

He hovered his face down to meet your pussy. It looked as though he was examining it. “It’s all dripping out anyway. Should we take you to Chopper and see if he can make a pregnancy blocking medicine or something?”

“That’s so embarrassing, though!” You whined, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red at the thought of Chopper telling the rest of the Straw Hats that you and Zoro went to visit him because you were scared he put a literal baby in you. You could imagine the uproar in the ship and the look on their faces. Neither of you would hear the end of it! “They’ll all find out what we did…”

He laughed, picking your body up and placing you over him in a bridal style position. You both laid naked in each other’s arms, silence being the only thing between you two. “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea having the rest of the crew know about this…” He finally let out.

You nodded in agreement. “I know… But, Zoro?”

“Yes?”

“I like you.” You bit your lip trying not to bounce of the damn walls with the anxiety welling up inside you. “If we can do this in secret, why can’t you be with me in secret?”

“I-I, Hmm” He paused, as if thinking about what to say next. “I guess I could. You definitely make me feel different than any other woman in my life has…”

He looked at you, with gleaming eyes. You’d never seen Zoro have so much expression in his face before, other than when he was angry. You cupped his face, and leaned in for another kiss, to which is surprisingly obliged.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N. And, I don’t say that lightly.” He whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “What if I break your heart?”

“You might, but we’re on this ship to take risks, right?” You smiled. “And if you break my heart, I’ll break your swords and we’ll call it even!”

“Eh!?” His lips curled into a devious smile. He shifted his body and pushed you off of him in the process, back on to the booth. You were on all fours, looking back at him, confused.

“How about I break your back right now? You’re already in position for me…”

The two of you stayed up until sunrise, but nobody kept watch…

Other works: https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/720678363406254080/zoro-x-femreader

https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/718435474566414336/one-piece-monster-trio-usopp-as-your-boyfriend

[etoileee]

Hello! I hope you're having a good morning/night! (It's morning where I am) I saw your request for questions and thankfully I'm full of them. Question 1. How's the food at the cafeteria? I've always wondered if it's quality or just regular summer camp food status.

2. Is it strange to see nymphs, and other 'fantasy' beings in your DR? Does it give an uncanny valley effect or does it give off movie CGI but in real-time? Or even cost player terms in looks? Because I would feel like I was in Narnia lol.

3. how are the other campers? Besides the main 6 and Nico, I would imagine them being friendly enough.

4. And finally last question, could you tell who's in who's cabin? I also imagine some gods 'genetics' stick more commonly than not (like Athena kids with gray eyes) but! That's all my questions! Hope I didn't blab your ear off! This is my first time able to ask the little nitty gritty questions of a POJ Dr (all the tic-tok videos I see are either from 2022 or disappeared ;-;) but I'm excited! Thank you and have a good week!

HELLOOOO it is in fact 10pm for me right now so yes I am having a good night! :D glad to hear you are full of questions because I love answering them!

1. I can’t say anything about food yet since I’ve only shifted to my pjo dr once and I was only there for one day, I had woken up there right around 9 pm and that’s dinner is, they did offer me food but I declined because I was too in shock to eat 😭 I do remember percy liking the food in lightning thief though so I’m expecting it to not be too bad

2. YES OMG i’VE ALREADY MENTIONED THAT I PASSED OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT TO CAMP AND SAW CHIRON HAAA

its not necessarily uncanny valley, its more like movie cgi in real time, after my talk with nico on the first night when we were walking back to the campfire to meet with the others again one of em emerged from a tree and I screamed because HELL I WAS SURPRISED OKAY and she kinda just looked and me mischievously and ran off, like she liked the reaction she got out of me lol.

3. I didn’t really interact with any other campers the first night other than the hermes kids and a little bit of interaction with a few apollo kids, after the campfire with the prophecy members I went into the hermes cabin to sleep since I haven’t been claimed yet and even if I was there isn’t a NYX cabin for me to be in. the hermes kids were a mix of like.. stand offish and unserious, they were curious about me and they weren’t shy about it. there was an empty bunk in the cabin and it still had someone’s belongings on it, and I can’t help bit think that stuff is luke’s.

4. with some cabins you can definitely notice similarities! and if they don’t look similar physically its their aura, for I saw some apollo kids walking to the hermes cabin, they were sitting outside smoking weed 💀 there was about six of them and they all had blonde hair and tan skin. as I walked they saw me, the new nyx kid with white eyes and they were definitely surprised and confused but most of them smiled at me to gave me a nod as I walked and I appreciated that :P

im so sorry I fell like I couldn’t give you good answers to your questions 😭 but I hope this satisfies you a little bit! I plan on shifting tonight and I plan on staying for more than one day this time so we’ll see how that goes! and I’ll make sure to come back and tell you all about it! :D

[dw19791967]

That Feeling Part 3

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventual), OFC Tyler

Y/N POV and Dean POV

Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, unwanted kissing, depression, anxiety, and feelings.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains discussions of depression and anxiety and feelings that go along with those. If that could be triggering for you I would skip out on this one. It is based on some experiences I have had in real life.

*All mistakes are my own!

I'm back (kinda) here's part 3. I'm thinking possibly two more parts. Let me know what you think!

-Layla

*I do not own this gif

Y/N’s POV:

It has been 5 months since one of the worst nights of my life. I started therapy and have been doing a lot better. It was kinda weird at first talking to someone about my life issues and past traumas, I spent a lot of time just sitting there trying to figure out what to say, especially since I can’t mention anything about hunting. But overall it’s been good. I’ve been taking better care of myself, spending more time with the boys, mostly Sam. Dean has been distant lately but I figured it was because he has spent so much one on one time with me the last few months. Sam has helped me start exercising daily (even though I hate it with every fiber of my being). I’ve lost around 10 pounds which is great considering I still eat a ton of take out. I’m starting to feel like my old self again. I took a break from hunting and started writing, that lasted a hot minute before I was tired of staying home. 

Being back in a routine was good, I feel good.

We are on the road currently Sam caught a case about missing bodies. One of my favorite things. They think I’m weird for enjoying the quiet of cemeteries, but I know it’s because the dead are easier to deal with than the living some days.

“Ok, we got four missing corpses. Gladis Bramford was the first, mid 80’s when she passed. They found her head a few counties over, still missing the rest.” Sam was typing away on his computer.

“Who the hell takes a head only?” Dean had a grossed out look on his face.

I laughed.

“Evidently someone had big plans, poor Gladis.” I poked Dean in the shoulder.

Sam rolled his eyes. “The strangest part was her eyes were replaced with red glass, they haven’t been able to figure out which funeral home she was housed at before entering her final resting place.” 

“So what do we think, grave robbers, ghouls, demons?” I asked Sam.

“Not sure, we will have to see after we check the head out.” 

_________________________________________________

Sam went to check out the head while Dean and I looked over the case files.

“You doing ok sweetheart? I know I haven’t really checked in on you lately.” Dean looked at me.

“For the most part yeah, I feel a lot better than I did. I think taking time to get my head on straight helped a lot, plus therapy.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Dean smiled at me.

I missed spending time with Dean. But I hadn’t pushed him, I figured he needed a break from me and I understood that. I can be a lot sometimes and he has his own stuff to deal with. It’s not easy being my friend. Plus after everything I realized I probably will never be comfortable enough with myself to be with someone. I’m in love with him and probably will always be. Knowing he’s here but I can’t have him is a hard pill to swallow but I’m working everyday to move past it. I know he deserves better and I know I’m not it. 

“You haven’t heard anything from that douchebag right?” he continued reading over the files. 

“He actually messaged me a few weeks ago from his facebook account. Asked how I was and hoped I was doing better. I ignored it and he kept sending messages, saying he was sorry and he was a dick, blah, blah, blah. I blocked him.” 

“What an asshat, he must have balls the size of Texas to reach out to you after the stunt he pulled.” 

“I guess so, I was upset by it but I’m moving on.” I smiled at him.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you didn’t deserve that, any of it.”

“It’s ok Dean, I’ve accepted what has happened and I’m moving on. Choosing between a man and a bear, I’d choose the bear.”

“You don’t mean that, you just haven't found the right man yet.”

I scoffed. “Dean… I’m an overweight, loud mouthed, cursing, strong willed woman, who has extreme trust issues. I doubt I will ever find a man who is ok with that, plus I don’t think I want to put myself out there again, who knows what will happen.”

“Just have me greet them with my glock, I’m sure it will go great after that.”

I laughed.

“In all seriousness I hope you do find someone someday Y/N, you deserve the world whether you believe you do or not.”

My heart sank. The only man I want is right in front of me and he will never want me.

“Thanks De.” I got up to pat him on the shoulder.

“Where are you going?” 

“I just need some air.” 

“Y/N I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t, I just have a lot on my mind and need a break.”

He frowned.

“It’s ok Dean, really.” I gave him a small smile.

Once I was outside and had the door closed I broke down, I can’t keep doing this to myself.

_________________________________________________

Dean’s POV:

I didn’t mean to upset her. I was trying to give her hope. 

It has been five months since I saw Y/N break. I’ve never been so scared in my life seeing her crumble under the weight of the world. I had to step back, let her get her head on straight without me. I don’t want to get used to relying on her to make me feel better. She needs to take care of herself, not me. I missed spending time with her but I knew it was for the best. Plus I know Sam is a better influence. I’m no good for her.

My phone was buzzing.

Sam.

“Hey man.”

“Dean hey, is Y/N with you?”

“Nah, she’s taking a break.”

“Oh, ok. I was going to let you guys know the cops think it’s a serial grave robber, evidently this has happened before. From everything I’ve checked out, I don’t see a relation to a monster. Maybe we should just let the cops handle it?”

I sighed. “Yeah that’s fine, we can stick around for a few days to see if anything happens.” 

“You ok dude?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just worry about her.”

“I know you do, but she’s doing better.”

“I know man, I just feel like I’m losing her. I know I stopped hanging with her but I wanted her to be able to heal without me looming over her.”

“Dean, she probably thinks you need a break from her, you know how she thinks.”

“You’re right Sam, I didn’t think about that. God, I messed up.”

“She’ll be back man and you can talk to her, I’ll go grab us some food before I head back.” 

As Dean was finishing his call with Sam, she sneaked back in.

“She’s here now, talk to you soon.”

“Everything ok?” she asked.

Her eyes were red, she had been crying.

Shit, I’m an asshole.

“Uh yeah, Sam said cops think it’s a serial grave robber, it’s happened before. Told him we could stick around for a few days and see if anything happens. He’s grabbing food, and should be back soon.”

She nodded.

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I got up to go towards her.

She backed away.

“It’s ok Dean, I’m just being over sensitive right now.” 

“No you’re not, I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“Dean it’s fine really, let’s just drop it.”

“I don’t want to drop it Y/N, I’ve been awful to you these last few months. I was trying to give you space to heal and it backfired. You think I hate you or can’t stand you. Neither is the case.”

“I understand Dean, I know I can be a lot. It’s ok.”

I raised my voice “But it’s not, I feel like I’m losing you!”

She began to cry. 

“Dean, I was doing fine, great even. Until I realized the biggest part of me was missing you. Sam was great at helping me, sure, but you told me you would stick by my side and you didn’t. I really get it. I’m annoying as hell. Everyone deserves a break. But you know I would do anything for you, hell I have and I know you have done a lot for me. And the fact is, I’m not yours to lose. So stop apologizing, put your big boy pants on, and move on. I’m not going to keep doing this!”

_________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV:

Dean took a step back and sighed.

He can’t keep doing this to me and I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I could tell I upset him.

I rubbed my head and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just don’t need to keep hearing your apologies alright, I get it Dean. You forget I know you better than you know yourself. I’ll be ok, please don’t beat yourself up.”

I moved to hug him. 

He held me in his arms.

Then spoke, “You know I can’t do that sweetheart, beating myself up is my number one hobby.” He laughed.

“Well you need to stop, especially when it comes to me.” I moved back.

“I just need to know it’s going to be ok Y/N, I know I messed up but I will be better. Promise.”

“I know Dean, I know.”

Taglist:

@hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog

@deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist

@pandasrdbest2341

[ginjithewanderer]

[Tetora Nagumo] What I Like 4☆ — The Back of a Man Among Men

Writer: Nishioka Maiko || Season: Winter Character appearances: Tetora, Arashi

"What about you, Tetora-kun? Have you found anything you like yet?"

Translation under the cut

Tetora: Hmhmhmm…♪ I’m back~

Arashi: Oh? Tetora-kun, welcome back.

Arashi: Are you done with work already? You're back surprisingly early. Didn't you say you might be late? I thought for sure that you wouldn’t be back until late at night.

Tetora: Ossu. That's what I thought, too, but I got done earlier than I expected~

Arashi: I see. Well, I'm glad you got done without any troub—

Arashi: Kyaah!

Tetora: Woah!? Wh-what's wrong? You startled me just yelling all of a sudden, y'know?

Arashi: Tetora-kun, this is bad! Your ear! Your earlobe!

Tetora: Huh?

Arashi: Your earlobe is bleeding!

Tetora: Hm…?

Tetora: Ah, it really is. My piercing hasn't healed all the way yet, so I guess it might be bleeding because my earring got caught on my clothes or something.

Arashi: Uh-uh. You can't just wipe it off so casually like that! What if it gets infected!?

Arashi: Okay. Come here. I'll give you a hot soak.

Tetora: H-'hot soak'…? What's that? It sounds kinda like 'hot soup' in English, so I guess it's something yummy?

Arashi: Nope. A hot soak is when you use warm salt water on the affected area to help it heal better.

Arashi: Piercings are delicate, so you can't use regular disinfectants.

Arashi: Don't worry, this won't hurt. Come on, come here and sit still.

Tetora: Ossu. I'll take you up on that, then.

Arashi: Dab, dab…And, there.

Arashi: Oh? This earring…It's not the one you usually wear, is it?

Tetora: Ah, yeah. Today's work was kinda formal, so I wore this clear one that isn't really visible from a distance.

Tetora: I wonder if this piercing is even worth it for me if it’ll keep getting caught in my clothes~. It probably started bleeding because it got caught on something in a weird way.

Arashi: Hmm, that is strange. I wonder if it keeps getting caught on things because you’re not used to it yet.

Arashi: You can’t take the earring out until it heals up, though, or the hole will close up…

Arashi: I know. How about we go shopping for new ones the next time we’re free? I’ve been meaning to look for some small ones for myself, too.

Arashi: I can recommend you a shop, but would you be okay with that?

Tetora: Oh. Can I? If it’s one you recommend, I wanna go, too!

Arashi: That’s decided, then ♪ Let’s go out the next time we’re free.

Arashi: Kyaah ♪ All of them are so cute. With this many choices, I’ll never be able to decide.

Arashi: Oh, well~. Even though there are so many cute things, I want to save money this month…They’re all so tempting.

Arashi: Ah, I can’t get distracted and have fun on my own like this. I’m not here to shop for myself today.

Arashi: What about you, Tetora-kun? Have you found anything you like yet?

Tetora: U~myu. Let me think…Ah, these are nice and simple.

Tetora: I like this kinda thing, but I don’t know how fashionable they are…

Tetora: I don’t really have much of a fashion sense. That’s why I wanna hear your opinion. What do you think of these?

Arashi: Hey. You don’t need to worry about every little thing like that. After all, the most important part of fashion is wearing what you like!

Arashi: Besides, it’s not like you don’t have a good fashion sense. These earrings are nice, aren’t they? I think they’ll suit you.

Tetora: You think so? If they have your seal of approval, I’ll get them~♪ That said, which ones do you like, Narukami-senpai?

Arashi: Me? Well—

Arashi: I like these, and earrings like these are nice, too…Ah, these! I like these ones. Mmm, it’s too bad I can’t buy them. I’ll have to come back when I have some more money.

Arashi: Oh, well, that’s okay. Our main goal today was to get you some earrings. We did achieve that.

Tetora: Ossu. I’ll go pay for these, then!

Arashi: Okaaay, see you in a bit. I’ll go look around that clothing store over there. Please do call out to me once you’re done.

Arashi: I’m so glad you could find something you like.

Tetora: Ossu! It’s just as I’d expect from a store you like. All the accessories there were designed really well. It was really neat.

Tetora: I wanna go there again. Thank you so much!

Arashi: Hehe. Just hearing you say that makes it feel worth recommending it to you.

Tetora: —Also, here.

Arashi: Huh? What’s this package?

Tetora: It’s thanks for today. I’m sorry it’s so small.

Arashi: Huh!? You don’t need to thank me, though!

Arashi: But…thank you. I’m glad. Is it okay if I open it?

Tetora: Of course!

Arashi: —Oh, my! These are the earrings I liked from that store! When did you…

Tetora: Heheh. I’m not great at giving presents, so I wasn’t sure what would be good enough as thanks, but…

Tetora: Obviously, you’d want to give anyone something they’d like, right? That’s why I didn’t buy anything beforehand. I just quietly did my research and bought these earlier.

Arashi: …You’re amazing, Tetora-kun.

Tetora: Huh? Did you say something, Narukami-senpai?

Tetora: Ah! Are these not good enough as a thank you!?

Arashi: Nope. Not at all. I’m really happy with these. Thank you so much. I’ll treasure them ♪

Tetora: I’m really glad you like them! Let’s go home, then.

Arashi: (Mm~…And I thought you were still just a cute junior. I really look forward to what the future holds for you…♪)

Tetora: ? Narukami-senpai, what’s wrong~? You almost got left behind, y’know~?

Arashi: Yeah, yeah. I’m coming, Tetora-kun!

[bloodweavefangnatic]

✨ Companions kisses + romance scenes ✨

Pairing:

Starlach (Fieryblood)

Rating:

10/10

Okay might be a little biased here because I’ve only just tried these two out and I’m obsessed with how adorable they are together (comes to a very close second to Bloodweave 🤭)

Scenes:

10/10

I love the fact that when you first “sleep” with Astarion at the tiefling party — if you’re playing as Karlach — is that, okay, yes he was a little frustrated that he couldn’t sleep with you (her) because of the engine problem but I think this was a good thing because it made him slow down for a little bit (even if he was a little annoyed by it) but he didn’t exactly say “see you bye” and leave the area, what did he do? He actually stayed with you (her) for cuddle and companionship — pun not intended — even though it was something he didn’t usually do

Next up, is how cute , dorky or vulnerable their respective scenes are- both on different ends of emotions so if it’s the graveyard scene that’s happening it’s both vulnerable, sentimental, but also slightly comedic (because really who is Astarion without a little comedy? Even when he’s being a total sweetheart 😂)

or how quirky awkward Karlach’s scene is (if you’re, obviously, playing as Astarion) and how quickly she becomes protective over him — the player, really— after Henk’s nasty attitude

Intimacy:

12/10

Oh. My. God! To be honest I was convinced that they really weren’t all that compatible (what with her morality and his, well, lack of it but that was honestly before I started to realise that there WAS actually more to Astarion’s actual personality than what was on the surface (what we and the other companions already see)

I kid you not I literally fell in love with the way these two were interacting with one another whether it was; pet names (depending which is which currently being played as), the way they kiss one another and just somehow make sense, the way their height differences are completely opposite to each other (which is odd seeing cuz I romanced Gale and Astarion 3 times each so I was used to the “tol and smol” differences 😂)

Conclusion:

Honestly? I just love the idea of any “morally good” companion; whether it’s Halsin, Karlach, Gale, or even, yes, Wyll just showing Astarion that he/she/ or they (all of them 😂) care — now whether romantically or platonically is totally up to you I mean it is called a “choices game” for a reason. So yeah I’m actually glad I made this kinda of canon for Karlach — considering she said she would have ridden Astarion but wouldn’t trust him (I think she was a bit wrong there and was seeing his “above surface personality”

Pairing:

Fieryblade

Rating:

12/10

Okay, I pretty fell in love with them (I’m a sucker for “enemies to lovers” dynamic, the minute these two meet each other although it hits harder and much different when playing their origin run

Scenes:

8/10

Despite not being a “Wyll girlie” I actually did love the socialite dance he performed for and with Karlach (the fact that for once he didn’t judge anyone— and just smiled adoringly at her own version of dance) before trying to wrap up the night of their “date night” — I was a little disappointed when they didn’t sleep together after that (seemed more like a Gale move than anything else 😂) but the kiss(es) are nice and meaningful

Intimacy:

12/10

I just love the fact that, despite Karlach not being able to touch the player (as Wyll), she still sits next to you (similarly to the “Starlach” run) whilst being her most vulnerable and even have the option to kiss her on the lips even if it is a little hot, literally.

Whilst you can’t actually get many romance scenes due to the fact that her engine wouldn’t allow her to touch anyone without burning them it’s still a very wholesome moment all through Act 1 and Act 2 (which is the fun part when she gets her second upgrade in)

However it’s really Act 3 that’s the most fun, even before defeating Gortash shortly after you (as Wyll) enter the city she asks you out on a real date and to “get into anything other than camp gear”. Like I kid you not my heart absolutely melted when that was said and I thought: this could not get any more better.

Boy was I wrong! The date itself was both charming and awkward as fuck like in that cringe “I don’t know what I’m doing” type of thing, but not in a bad way. I absolutely loved every moment of it from the way of ‘let’s pretend we don’t have tadpoles’ to the way she got particularly fired up (pun intended) by Henk’s — owner of the Sining Lute — sour mood

Pairing:

Bloodweave

Rating:

12/10

Scenes:

12/10

I did — do — love how Bloodweave had a magical moment with one another (A. I don’t have the heart to turn Gale down in his “magic lesson” scene and 2. I always head-canon that Astarion WAS a wizard — necromancy for sure — in his past life anyway so win-win! I absolutely loved that you could either choose “imagine kissing Gale” or “Imagine walking hand in hand” or plainly “Imagine you kick Gale” (which I found absolutely hilarious 🤣 because you’ve got all these wholesome stuff and then just a really mean option)

Similar to Karlach (but reversed I guess) is that whilst I didn’t love the whole “Oh we better not sleep together right now because I feel like the orb won’t take it and will blow me up” thing is a bit of an excuse, I kinda understand where he’s coming from. He’d been hurt before so he didn’t want to jump into the relationship straight up like last time (smart Gale smart) although he could have just easily said “I’m not ready for that yet” or “could we slow down a bit”, but then again, as someone having autism; we don’t always communicate properly or feel like we need to come up with a white lie to spare that person’s feelings because we always feel like we’re doing the wrong thing 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh! Act 2 Astral Planes is my absolute favourite scene in the game (despite having very little flirting and barely any action in Act One, which is more on the “wholesome” side of Gale’s romance however by the time one gets to Act 2 is the REAL fun begins; first up — after defeating some monsters (and possibly innocent beings in your Durge run) he actually confesses to the player after painful romantic interactions in the first act you finally get inside Moonrise Towers the scene later that night 😘👌🏻

Next scene is when Astarion and Gale go on a “boat ride” in the Outer Planes (just like the one in Act Two this atmosphere is just as beautiful but this time this time you either talk him down from getting the Crown of Karsus or talk him up into getting it— I personally wouldn’t ever do it again because he becomes so unrecognisable) I absolutely love the fact that you can either “shut him up” by kissing Gale on the lips — I always choose this option 😂 — or just tell him that he’s enough as he is and that he doesn’t need to pursue godhood to be happy; only if you don’t want him to go after the Crown which I really loved in itself because it shows that he will listen to him regardless if he says “go ahead” or “I don’t think it’s a good idea”

Another great thing about all of this in the morning after your “boat date” he will immediately start to call him pet names like for instance my love (I’m sure there is a lot of endearments Astarion’s been called over the last 200 years but I don’t think “my love” is one of them and THAT absolutely makes my heart soar!)

Intimacy:

9/10

The only reason I give this a nine-out-of ten is because 2 of the kisses is pretty chaste and I understand that Gale is a bit of a virgin (emotionally) because he has no problem bragging how “expertised” he is with his tongue 😜 buuuuut WHERE is it? Where is the French-kissing??? Where is the Oscar award for this tongue performance? The only tongue I ever see is when Astarion (again playing as him) ever so slightly dominates Gale’s mouth with the swipe of his own tongue— no wonder his partner moans 😂

However despite all the chivalry I DO DO DO love how gentle they are with one another, from chin-holding-kisses to slightly brushing down to Astarion’s (as the player) shoulder in reassurance and how eyes are held with such reverence for one another as if they’re the only ones in the world — which is actually a big deal for him because he knows that Gale isn’t just going to leave him behind (like so many of his bedmates after post-sex, after feeling like a used toy 🥺)

[trashywritestrash]

I’m Here

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader, ex!Jason Carver x ex!Reader

Word Count: let me get back to you on that

Warnings: written terribly, kinda angst, reader is dealing with a rough break up, jason carver, jason calls reader a mean word, eddie is desperately in love (or just desperate), swearing, one vaguely dirty joke.

A/N: This is my entry for @wndalovebot ‘s Words Written By the Sea challenge! I used the prompts “You need someone right now. And I’m the one that’s here. Let me be what you need.” and “You don’t have to talk about it, just let me make the pain go away.”

gif by attanos

People always talk about high school romance; about “young love”. There are hundreds of movies where teenagers find their first love, go to prom, and live happily ever after.

No one warns you that dating in high school can be a bitch.

Because now, after your messy break up with Jason Carver, you still have to see him every day. You still have to see him in the halls and at lunch. You still have to sit next to him in some of your classes. You still have to hear his friends talk shit about you.

Before you started dating Jason, you were close with the Hellfire Club; especially Eddie Munson. You didn’t play Dungeons & Dragons, but you were the unofficial co-dungeon master. You’d come up with some ideas for plots and NPCs while Eddie would handle the mechanics of it all. But after a month of dating Jason, he got controlling. It started with you missing Hellfire meetings to sit in on basketball practice or games. After that, he wanted you to sit with the team during lunch instead. Then Jason didn’t want you going to Eddie’s trailer. And then he didn’t want you talking to any of them at all.

You thought you were being sneaky by calling Eddie still. Jason stopped you from talking to him at school, but he couldn’t keep track of who you were calling. It was a good plan. Until it wasn’t.

All it took was one night. One night where Jason stayed over a little later than usual. The phone rang from downstairs, so your mom answered it. A moment later she shouted, “Y/N! It’s Eddie!” Jason got mad, you got mad, and you broke up.

The next day, you approached the Hellfire table at lunch. They gave you looks of confusion, shock, and even a little betrayal. But Eddie just gave you a sympathetic smile and pulled you over to the seat next to him. “Welcome back.” You described the situation to the others in as little detail as possible and they quickly accepted you back into the group. While everyone was busy talking about the campaign, Eddie leaned over to whisper, “Do you wanna come over tonight? We can watch a movie like old times.”

You nodded, glad that he wasn’t mad at you for being away for so long. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

—————

That night, as you got ready to go to Eddie’s, the phone rang. This time you were able to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N.” You knew that voice. Why the fuck was Jason calling you?

“What do you want?”

“A little birdie told me you’re hanging out with the freak tonight. I thought you knew better.”

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see it. “So what, Jason? I’m not your girlfriend anymore, you don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t hang out with.”

“I know that. I’m just disappointed. We broke up less than a week ago and you’re already desperate for attention. And from Eddie Munson? You can’t have me anymore, so you’re gonna whore yourself out to him now? Is that what this is?” The most baffling part was his tone. Jason sounded like he genuinely believed the words he was saying; like he was just trying to look out for you.

Instead of snapping or making some kind of comeback, you just hung up. The phone rang again. And again. And again. You didn’t answer. You told your parents that you were going to Eddie’s and that if Jason called they should hang up. Luckily, they didn’t ask any questions.

By the time you got to Eddie’s trailer, your anger had worn off. In it’s place was guilt, shame, and embarrassment. You didn’t feel guilty for hanging out with Eddie; quite the opposite. You felt bad for pushing him and the club aside for Jason. When you knocked on the door, you tried to push it all down. You didn’t want to ruin your first time hanging out with Eddie again after three months.

The door opened, revealing Wayne dressed in his work uniform, “Do my eyes deceive me or is that Y/N Y/L/N?” His grin and light chuckle took a bit of the weight off of your shoulders. “You know you don’t have to knock.”

“I know but it’s been a while. I didn’t wanna overstep.”

Wayne simply waved his hand dismissively, “Nonsense. You’re here now, that’s what matters. I’m glad I caught you on my way out. I missed ya, kid.”

Somehow that made you feel better and worse at the same time. “I missed you too, Wayne. Drive safe.” With a smile and a wave goodbye, Wayne got in his truck and went to work.

You sat on the couch, happy to be back in the familiar environment but afraid to make yourself too comfortable. Eddie came out from the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair wet from taking a shower. “Oh, hey! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Sorry, Wayne let me in before he went to work.”

“No need to apologize,” Eddie chuckled. “Um— Let me get dressed and I’ll grab some tapes for us to watch.” You didn’t even notice that Eddie was shirtless until he said that, but once you saw it you couldn’t unsee it. Your eyes lingered a moment longer than they should have, making blood rush to your cheeks. Eddie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, unknowingly showing off his body even better. “I’ll— uh, I’ll be right back.”

Eddie got dressed in record time, quickly returning with a large blanket and three tapes. “Okay, we’ve got Friday the 13th, Evil Dead, or Poltergeist.”

“You had to pick all horror movies, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Eddie grinned, setting the tapes on the coffee table in front of you. “I haven’t been able to see you hide under a blanket during jumpscares in a while.”

A pang of guilt shot through you, but you swallowed it down. “Um… Friday the 13th.”

Eddie nodded and put the tape in the VHS player. “Bold choice. I like it.”

As the movie played, the two of you fell into an awkward silence. You and Eddie used to be able to talk for hours about anything and everything, but now you couldn’t find anything to say. Eventually, Eddie spoke up.

“So… how are you doing? After, you know…”

Of all the things Eddie could have asked, it had to be that. “I’m okay I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I mean,” You looked down and started fiddling with the edge of the blanket. “I’m glad it’s over, but I still feel like shit about it.”

Eddie got closer, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, don’t do that to yourself. You’re better off without him.”

You sighed, still not looking at him. “I know. It just— It felt nice. Being in a relationship. I was so happy to have a boyfriend that I let Jason get away with so much shit.” Your eyes filled with tears, but no matter how hard you fought them, they still fell. “And even though he was an asshole I still feel lonely without him. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. He was good to you at first, it’s okay to miss that.”

You shook your head. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I miss the beginning stage, I think I miss all of it. I miss the shitty parts too because I miss having a boyfriend in general. I was perfectly fine with being single before, but he ruined that for me too.”

“Please don’t tell me you want to be with him still. He’s a piece of shit.”

“I know he is… I just—“ You cut yourself off with a groan, not sure what to say. Eddie bit his lip as he thought something over. “What are you thinking about?” You asked him.

“I think… I think you need a rebound.”

Your eyes widened, “A rebound?! It’s only been a couple days.”

“I know, but that’s the whole purpose of a rebound— You find someone new right after.”

“Okay, even so, isn’t that a shitty move? I mean, I’d feel bad just using someone like that. It’s not like me.” If you were honest with yourself, you knew that you were Jason’s rebound from Chrissy. That was enough to make you not like the idea of having your own rebound.

“What if they knew? Like, they know what they’re signing up for?”

At this point the movie had ended, but neither of you noticed the credits rolling in the background. “That’s almost worse. Do I just walk up to some guy and say ‘hey, my boyfriend and I broke up so you should let me use you as a rebound so I can get over him’?” Your response quieted Eddie for a minute. Right when you went to apologize, he stopped you.

“What if it’s me?”

Your heart stopped beating. “What?”

“What if I’m your rebound?” You searched Eddie’s eyes for some kind of sign that he was joking, but you could tell he was completely serious.

“Eddie… I could never do that to you.”

“What if I want you to?”

That question struck you harder than Eddie’s initial suggestion of having a rebound. The idea of dating Eddie had crossed your mind before, many times. But this would be using him. “Why would you want that?”

“Because I want to be with you, and this may be the only way I can ever do that.” Your mouth fell open but Eddie wasn’t done yet. “You need someone right now. And I’m the one that’s here. Let me be what you need.”

Your brain was in such a state of shock that it couldn’t put the right words together. All that came out was “Eddie… I can’t— I don’t…”

“If you don’t have feelings for me, that’s fine, you don’t have to talk about it, just let me make the pain go away.” Eddie was pleading with you, begging you to use him; to walk all over him and throw him away. “Please.”

“I don’t want to ruin this…” You felt your eyes well up again, but the tears stayed in this time.

Eddie chuckled wetly, making you notice that he was crying too. “I already did… Even if you don’t accept my offer, you know that I’m in love with you. I can’t take that back, and I wouldn’t even if I could.” As if he could read your thoughts, Eddie continued. “You wouldn’t be using me. If anything, I’m taking advantage of your broken heart to have a chance with you… We can use each other.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. “That last sentence sounded vaguely dirty.”

“You just had to point that out, didn’t you?”

For a minute, you and Eddie just laughed. For that one minute things felt normal. It felt like your relationship with Eddie hadn’t completely shifted. But that minute ended and reality set back in. “So? What do you say?”

You looked into Eddie’s eyes once more and saw the same desperation from before. He truly wanted this. And you never could tell Eddie no when he really wanted something.

“Okay.”

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Chubby (Modern) Arthur with Chubby reader Headcannons

This one was requested from @mrsarthurmorgan7​! We love to see some Chubby Arthur and Chubby reader representation, and seeing some modern ones!! 

There will be a little bit of that domestic life kinda stuff in here which was requested from another reader, but I will do a full post full of just domestic life with him I promise! 

Let’s get into this >;) 

Warnings: May be a little NSFW but for the main part should be fluff

Arthur being I mean cute arthur but chunky, Female reader mainly GN but there will probably be a few instances of female mentions 

Arthur is a chunky man himself, and when you see him looking really uncomfortable, all by himself in the corner of a bar you think maybe he might be there on the same circumstances as you.

Your friend nearly commanded that you came with them, an attempt to try and get you to out of your comfort zone and maybe meet someone.

You were chunky, big, and you didn’t often think of yourself as very attractive.

You friend was trying to prove to you that, that wasn’t true, but no one had approached you for the entire hour you’d been here.

But, that man in the corner, he looked just as uncomfortable as you, but you couldn’t understand why.

He was handsome, I mean

Gorgeous, his face was like sculpted by the gods themselves.

A little bit of stubble littered his face, he had a few scars but I mean, all they did was give him more character, they made him more attractive. 

His nose looked like it’d been broken a few times, but again, it only added to his looks, in now way did it make him ugly.

He was a large man too.

I mean

Massive.

Huge thighs, a wide torso, even from where you sat you could see the strength in his shoulders and arms. He was wearing long sleeves but he’d rolled up the sleeves, and every nervous movement of his arms flexed in his forearms.

You sit and debate with it for a while before you finally take a deep breath and start heading his way.

“Hi, I’m Y/N L/N.” You stick a hand out towards him and smile, doing your best not to be intimidating, or intimidated. 

He blinks at you from the corner barstool he sits upon, and smiles back before taking your hand and offering you a strong shake

“Arthur Morgan.” 

“You get dragged here too? You don’t exactly look like you’re enjoying yourself.” You chuckle.

“You could say that, my dumbass of a brother made me come with him.” 

He gestures towards a leaner man with dark hair, and snorts. 

“Can’t even drink, I gotta drive that idiot home.” 

You laugh yourself and gesture towards the open seat next to him.

“You mind if I sit?” 

You feel incredibly nervous as you wait for an answer, swallowing as you watch his face.

You’d never been so forward with a man, but for some reason, something about him made you feel terrified and incredibly at ease

“Sure, anythin’ for a pretty woman.” 

You feel your face heat and quietly take the barstool next to him, your face breaking out into a smile. 

“So, Miss L/N, tell me about yourself.”

For the rest of the night the two of you keep talking, ignoring everyone around you, and you end up staying with him until the bar closes at 3 am. You’d never felt so connected talking to a person as you had with him.

Your friend had graciously stayed with you, and waited patiently, just happy to see you actually talking to someone

Of course you an Arthur exchange numbers and he asks when the best time to call you would be

He heads home exhausted, but glad he went, and in modern times this man still keeps a journal, and of course before he completely passes out on his bed he writes all about you and how he thinks that theres something special about you he won’t be able to get out of his head.

It’s only a day or two later when he calls you.

You see his name pop up on your phone and your body just goes into a kind of shock. You would have never thought it possible for him to text you, let alone actually call you.

He was the most handsome man you think you’d ever met. 

But

To him its the exact same way

Hes a fat old man, who really has nothing to offer to anyone besides his love of cars and such

So why would a beautiful amazing person such as yourself take any kind of liking to him?

So when he calls and asks you to go on a date with him and you almost instantly say yes he nearly drops his phone

He's estatic.

I mean

Jumping out of his seat

Calling John

Getting a haircut and oiling up his beard kinda excited

He shows up at your house with the biggest smile on his face and a literal boquet of flowers

Now the date hes asked you on is casual, so he's shown up wearing a nice shirt and jeans and for him even that's dressing up.

He just asks you where it is you'd most like to go, anywhere in town, and you tell him you've always enjoyed window shopping at places, and that even though you don't know much you like to look at cars!

He is the definition of heart eyes

He asks you if you'd like to see the shop he works at, nervously and he's scratching his neck with a sheepish little smile on his face and you say you'd love to see it!

He takes you there and he's blathering away the whole ride there, talking about his favorite cars and what's the most fun to work on

Of course he pays attention to you too, listening to the things you love most and what you enjoy, he can't help but smile at you the way you talk about some of those things

He tells you he loves the outfit you wore and you tell him its actually your least favorite but you were out of clothes

When you tell him you don't like it because it makes you feel as though you're too fat he simply furrows his brow and bites his tongue because if he didn't he'd probably be coming off a little too strong

That and he knows that feeling all to well himself, it wouldn't be very fair of him to chastise you for saying the same things he does to himself every day.

When you finally get to his shop he takes you around, proudly showing off the little place he and his brother started up, and he can't help but feel a little warm in the face when you shyly tell him it's impressive that he owns his own business.

He shows you a few of the old hot rods that some of the older customers bring in to them to do basic upkeep on, and he tells you theres a great car show just a town over and asks if you'd like to go.

You of course say yes and he offers you a smirk before pulling you along to hop in his car and head that way

The two of you enjoy the car show so much! You spend the entire day out, and it's late when you get back on the road to go home.

You're too nervous at first to do anything, but Arthur sneaks his hand into yours and interlocks his fingers.

From there you felt safe enough to lean your head on his shoulder and you fall asleep like that on the ride home.

He wakes you up when you get there and then he walks you to your door

He smiles and tells you he had such a fantastic time with you, and he'd love to do it again if you'd feel the same.

He then asks you if it would be okay to kiss you.

Which of course you say yes

And he kisses you oh so gently

I mean

He cups your face

Sweetly, gently, feather light touch, but just perfectly pressured.

And his kiss itself was just....

Beautiful.

Soft but chapped lips, it wasn't rushed

It wasn't too slow

It was perfect

And it made you realize you wanted to be with him more than you thought

When he breaks apart from you theres a look in his eyes that makes you feel a spark

Nervous and yet so at ease all at once

You wanted to be perfect for him, you wanted to be everything for him

Everything he wanted and more

But from that first kiss Arthur was pretty much convinced you already were

Its just you're own negative body image that holds you back.

After that first date you two start going out more, until he asks you to officially date him

Although he calls it courting

Hes old fashioned

Its one if his quirks and you love it.

Obviously you agree to dating him

One of your favorite dates with him was going to the movies

The first time he put a hand on your thigh was your fourth date, you went to the movies together and sat right next to each other, moving the arm rests up and preferring to lean on one another

His big palm just happened to land there, sneaking around your sensitive upper and inner thigh like it was nothing

Needless to say you did not pay any attention at all whatsoever to what happened in that movie.

His hand was MASSIVE and it's all you could think about.

You had big thighs, being chubby, of course you did, but his hands? They were big enough hold on to a pretty good amount of your thigh without problem

It just sent you into a frenzy

If his hands were this big and felt this nice just holding your thigh through your jeans....

Could you imagine what else was big? And how nice it would feel without jeans on?

When you keep squirming throughout the movie he tries to ask if you're okay and you tell him you are but he doesn't quite believe you.

When you exit the movie he is talking away explaining how he thought the movie was good but there were certain parts he really enjoyed.

You try your best to match his enthusiasim about certain parts but you really don't remember them happening.

Like, he mentions an awesome car chase that happened but in all honesty you don't even rememeber the main character getting in a car

When the two of you get to his truck he asks again if you're okay and you again tell him yes, you just explain that you think he's really handsome, and that it was difficult to focus on anything but him

It was a half truth

Of course he blushes and you do too, you aren't sure where this brazen sort of boldness comes from, he's so handsome you're sure you'll stumble over your words when you speak but it always comes out smoother than you expect it to.

On the ride home he does it again, puts his hand on your thigh and steers with the other, like its second nature to him, and you can't help but squirm under his touch

After he drops you off

(And you assure him once more that you're okay and can't wait to see him next Friday)

He leaves with a smile on his face and it's not until he's halfway to his house that he realizes why it is that you were squirming around in his truck seat and in the dark of the theater.

It makes his face run red and he is incredibly thankful you aren't in the truck cab with him

When the two of you go out again he tells you to dress fancy and you panic

You're bigger, you absolutely HATE how your body looks even when the outfit is nice.

Granted when he said fancy he meant semi fancy, he wasn't tsking you to some massive important resteraunt, but it was still a nice place.

So when he shows up, wearing a nice white button down and black tie, you panic some more.

You aren't even dressed when you open the door and he furrows his brow at you.

"Hey Darlin' I told ya I'd be here at 6, am I early?"

"No, no...I just...I don't have anything fancy to wear."

"Well sure ya do! I've seen ya wear a buncha nice things-"

"I don't look nice in them though-"

"Don't you even start. Don't you dare say that."

He talks you through it, listens to you, and even though you've only been dating for a little while he's got all the rjght words to calm you down without even trying

Telling you just how beauitful you are and that he loves how big you are.

Which when you tell him how much you like his stomach and how big he is he brushes you off, but you insist until he believes you

He finally gets you to get a dress on and he does nothing but compliment you the rest of the night.

The resteraunt he took you to was wonderful again, fancy but not too fancy

You did end up drinking a lot of wine, due to your nerves, and Arthur being the guy he is refused to let you be at your place alone

So he got you home after and made sure to get you in comfy clothes (he didn't look I swear!)

And then made sure you were comfortably in bed, and placed himself on the couch

He woke up in the morning and you'd crawled your way onto his chest during the night. From your room upstairs into the living room

He literally panicked cause he was like "she was drunk last night this isnt allowed she can't do this she probably doesnt wanna cuddle with me I'm fat and ugly"

But then the other part of his head was like

"O h this is nice, I havent cuddled with someone in a long time"

That part ended up making him cave and rather than waking you he decided to go back to sleep and wrapped a strong arm around you, offering a quiet and groggy hum when you in your sleep wrapped your arms around his neck.

It may not have been a very long time before the two of you stayed the night together, but it felt right when it happened.

As the two of you grow closer you do more things together, obviously. About 5 months into the relationship he takes you swimming with his family

You've met everyone once or twice and they all love you

I mean

They met you and decided you were perfect

Hosea is just happy Arthur is happy. He hasn't seen his son smile in so long that he practically sobs when he meets you

Anyway

You go swimming with his family and god

This man was testing you

You were sure of it

He acts like its nothing

To just whip his shirt off and hop in the in ground pool in the back of Hosea and Dutch's yard.

He's BUILT

BULKY

I mean

Wide shoulders, strong muscular arms but a muscular, fatty chest and stomach.

His stomach hangs over his swim trunks a little but in the best possible way

He's got some thick chest hair dusted on his chest but it's not too much, literally just the perfect amount so good like 👌👌👌

And mind you

Seeing him hop into the pool is the first time you've seen him shirtless in this relationship

You've seen him in tanktops sure, but never completely shirtless

So when he hops in the pool in swim trunks and no shirt you have to force yourself not to look at him

You feel self concious as it is because he convinced you that you looked absolutely delicious in a two peice bikini rather than a one piece, even though all you could focus on was how your fat rolls looked and how your stomach wasnt in any way close to being slim or flat

So you were wearing a simsuit you felt a little more exposed in

Well

Little did you know Arthur was in the pool in hopes that maybe the cold water would get rid of his boner lmao

That you had given him because you were wearing that bikini he'd asked you to

When you finally join him he tries to keep you from getting to close but eventually he says fuck it and splashes you happily to get you to chase him.

You end up being squeezed in his arms and eventually under the water his hands glide over your thighs and that little smirk you'vd come to love so much over the past few months shows up on his face.

You were just happy that the others in the pool weren't paying too much attention.

Though John and Abigial definently noticed and made fun of the two of you when you got out.

Arthur's size by the way

Is just

BARK

I mean

He's bigger than you, mainly height but he's still chunky too, and it makes you feel so happy, and so protected

And there was somdthing about how dominating his presence could be that just

O h

It riled you up

You were far to afraid to make the first move though

I mean

Think about it

Thats a massive man.

I'd be a little afraid myself.

So of course you would be

But

As most intimate times go

It happened kinda naturally

Arthur has been practically living at your place since like the 4th month of dating, because your house is bigger than his

So you're in the kitchen, cooking dinner when he comes home and he makes his way into the kitchen

He's covered in grease, and he's hyped up

He had a great day at work with the guys and he got to come home to you, a beautiful woman, his woman.

He came up behind you and placed his arms around your waist and kissed your neck

All you can smell is him, the grease mixed with his natural smell and what was left of the whiskey cologne he wore.

He was just ON YOU

Muttering nicknames in your ear, gliding his hands over you, I mean, what else was supposed to happen, not sex?

This man literally leans around you, turns the stove off and straight up CARRIES you upstairs

Like

Throw you over his shoulder squeeze your ass on the way up kinda carry

Like bro tried to tell you that you weren’t fat and that he liked how you looked

if that didn’t prove how much he loved all your chubbiness he really didn’t know what would

I mean

he carried you like you weighed NOTHING

It was very attractive

LIKE

oh my god

please

Arthur

all you have to do is throw us around 

we will obey your every word

He pretty much throws you on your bed and crawls over you, before he’s kissing all over you, your neck downwards.

Now of course, Arthur being Arthur, he’s gonna ask you if this is what you want

He’d never do anything you didn’t want to do.

Yeah, you’d been together for about half a year now, but he wasn’t gonna do anything you didn’t like or want.

So when you tell him yes and it’s all green lights you better be ready because he goes all out, especially since it’s your first time with him.

He wants to see every inch of you, and obviously you wanna see every inch of him too, and once he gets you undressed you kinda have to coax him into getting undressed himself

He’s a little 

well like you he’s a little shy about the way he looks, how big his stomach is, but you absolutely ADORE how large he is, it is just so attractive to you to see how big he was as a man

it’s impressive and you tell him that.

It does give him a little bit of a confidence boost, and from there he's a bit more willing to undress himself, though he claims theres no way he could ever look as good as you

When you run your hands over his stomach and chest he rethinks that statement just for a moment

You truely make him feel spectacular

He feels his absolute most handsomest around you and in the bedroom is no different.

He knows what he's doing in there, trust me

He lowers that voice of his and it makes your entire body feel like its on fire.

His hands? He knows how they need to work, where they need to go and when

He's like a master

You need to guide him a little bit but he's a fantastic learner

He listens to your every word because he wants you to feel good because he gets off on you feeling good

Literally the hottest thing to him is you calling his name and telling him that hes in the right spot doing what he needs too

Telling him "right there" is exactly what he wants to hear

If you are having a good time he is.

By the way during foreplay, if you mess with his thighs, glide hands over them, ride them, do anything with his absolute monster thighs you will get him harder than a rock

When it comes time to actually having sex, not just foreplay, he is gentle at first, making sure you, ya know, don't rip in half.

He loves having scratches on his back, so when things do pick up, make sure your hands are there, dig your fingers into his shoulders he can handle it, have you seen those muscles?

He does this thing where he practically folds you in half, it's his favorite position. You facing him, but your ass like right up next to him, your ankles on his shoulders

He keeps his hands on your thighs the whole time, squeezing until there's bruises.

(In his defense he doesn't mean to he literally can't control his strength when it comes to fucking you. When he gets into it he just I mean all he can just think about is the faces your making and the sounds and how good you feel, he literally cannot think about how hard he's squeezing you)

It's the same for how hard he thrusts, you might have to like attempt to calm him down if you can't handle it but lets be honest the two of you are both chubby

You can handle the unbrideled strength.

Obviously after everything is all said and done he makes sure you had a good time

(If he finishes before you he'll finish you off do not panic he LOVES it. Granted, embaressed he didn't last but he does love making you finish even if its not with his dick)

He cleans you and he even gets in the shower with you, if its big enough that is

The next morning the two of you are closer than EVER

He asks you to shave his face for him

So he'll sit you on the counter

(You'll protest and say you're to big and he'll tell you to shut up or he'll shut you up)

And then he'll stand between your legs and let you shave his face.

You're literally so gentle he nearly falls asleep standing there

He loves the feeling of your hands on his face

You're leaving him stubble of course, you love it, but like still

You're SO gentle

Him on the other hand will just go as quick as he can without cutting himself and his hands have calluses so like its a MAJOR difference when you do it

He plays with your thighs the whole time too :)

And your tummy, he just squeezes it gently, a guesture of affection, and how much he loves it

Needless to say the two of you are literally soulmates and you are convinced that you're gonna marry him

Jokes on you Arthur is already looking at rings, he knew he wanted to marry you 15 min into talking to you.

Please, enjoy these crumbs while I do my best to catch up on requests lmaoooo

I promise I am working on things!! School is kicking my butt and my roommates and I are now attempting to get housing as well, because we pretty much got kicked out of our dorms lmao

Its okay, cowboy man is here to save us

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Your au makes me happy. Do you have any little tidbits of information that are unlikely to be used for anything, but remain in the back of your mind regardless? Kinda like the TV preferences thing. I'd love to hear anything you're willing to share.

I’m glad you like it, this au and it’s versions of the characters are my children I love them so much!

- FazMike is able to hack into just about anything due to Freddy being connected to the internet.

- Jeremy was kicked out for being trans and was in the process of looking for a place while working at the fnaf 2 location. Freddy did a background check and then Mike invited him to live with them and Evan.

- Mike hates talking to people because he twitches and stutters due to being fused with Freddy. Freddy usually takes over and it’s very disconcerting to the person they’re talking with because they go from Mike’s strange mix of American-English accent, to Freddy’s more “customer service” way of speaking.

- It’s pretty easy to tell the two apart if you know them. Freddy still talks close to his animatronic form and is kind of a mother hen, while Mike is looser with his speech and basically a gremlin like Greg.

- Michael’s mother, Carmen, called him Miguel as a fuck you to William before she left.

- Evan’s special interest is true crime and he quickly gained the title of Gregory’s cool uncle after infodumping to the 9 year old.

- Freddy is very weirded out seeing his animatronic self when FazMike takes a job at the Pizzaplex.

- Evan’s Fredbear plush sits on his desk at his fnaf 1 job, the rest of the time it sits on his bed.

- Evan used the name Mike Schmidt for his job and Mike isn’t sure wether he should feel honored or insulted to be used as an alias.

- Jeremy will tell increasingly strange and unbelievable stories about the scar he got from Mangle. The kids at the beach believe he wrestled a crocodile and lost.

- Mike treats Freddy like an Alexa after learning he’s connected to the internet. (this one my gal thought of)

- Freddy is the actual dad while Mike is the fun dad and lets Greg get away with arson and other crimes.

- Gregory has like 4 dads. Animatronic Freddy, FazMike, and Jeremy.

- Jeremy is the only one with an actually stable job, staying away from Fazbear Entertainment. He’s Mike’s getaway driver whenever his boyfriend commits arson.

- I don’t have much on Helpy yet, but he’s definitely there, kinda like a parrot who knows advanced physics.

- Freddy made Evan a snack every night when he worked night shift.

- Mike is missing most of his internal organs after the scoop, but Ennard never used him as a meat suit because Freddy being fused with Mike confused them. Mike is not purple, but he’s got a gaping hole in his stomach for over a year while it heals up. No one actually knows how he’s alive, but they assume it’s something to do with Freddy being there.

That’s all I can think of so far but I’m sure there will be more in the future. I love these asks!

[reborrowing]

curses and confessions, part 2 (Stranger Swap)

prev | next | Stranger Swap masterpost

somehow Hollow's deal with the witch doesn't work out quite how he wanted word count: ~2k

Phoebe

After Phoebe woke up for the third time that night, she decided it was time to give up on sleeping. It was an absurd hour to be awake, but it was her understanding that it was technically daytime to some people. She shoved herself out of bed to look for that gorgeous sunrise the morning people go on about and sighed when she saw the sky was still dark enough for stars, however faint.

“Phoebe?”

She jumped at the small voice before she realized Val was on her pillow. She was glad she had happened to roll in the opposite direction getting out of bed because it hadn’t occurred to her to look. Val didn’t usually stick around long once she was asleep to avoid getting themselves pinned somewhere awkward (again).

“Morning, Val. Kinda early for you to be up, isn’t it? Or late, I guess?” she said. The borrower kept odd hours, even now that they didn’t need to worry about being discovered.

“Late, yeah. It’s not a problem, is it?”

“Mm, it’s a little weird that you were watching me sleep.”

Phoebe gave them an amused smile as she slid back onto the bed. They didn’t meet her gaze, only adjusted their balance as her weight pulled them forward. They were busy weaving the edge of a torn flannel scrap back together. Everything about their body language screamed tense, from the folded ears to the furrowed brow to the twitch in their tail. 

“Teasing,” she said.

“Oh. Right. I—Sorry. But it’s fine if I stay for awhile? A few days, maybe?” 

She reached toward them instead of answering, and the movement made them finally look up. They leaned against her finger, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. They sighed as she ran her thumb over their hair.

“Is something wrong?” she asked. 

“I’m…fine,” they said hesitantly.

“Actually fine, or just because you like saying that?”

They looked back down at the scrap in their lap and picked at the edge. Several seconds passed before they answered.

“It’s…both? It’s starting to get cold outside. It’s easy to stay warm in here, with the heater and everything,” they said. 

Phoebe frowned. Val kept secrets like knives in their chest and trying to pry just left them with open wounds. She wished they would recognize that it hurt them just as bad to keep them there and not say anything. They trusted her with their life, enough to sit in her palms and sleep on her desk while she studied, it couldn’t be that much worse to trust her with their feelings, could it?

But it was 5:30 in the morning and Phoebe was hardly in the right mind for a delicate conversation.

“If it’s alright with you. But I can go, if—” Val stammered.

“No, no, please, stay. Even without the temperature, it’s got to be more comfortable here than in the walls. You always come back with a weird musty smell. Stay however long you need to, you’re going to be here anyway,” Phoebe said.

Val thanked her with a soft laugh and gestured for a lift. They tucked their flannel thing through their belt as they stood. Their hand lingered possessively on the fabric as the two discussed the logistics of what exactly Val meant when they said they wanted to stay over.

They didn’t want to stay in anything they’d set up for Phoebe during one of their size trades, which all felt too exposed for Val’s taste. They would rather stay hidden than be able to call out for help. They insisted that they weren’t just trying to spend more time with her, either—but they were at Phoebe’s side much more often than in the drawer she had haphazardly cleared out for them. The second morning, they half suggested she take them with her to campus over breakfast before stuffing their face with a handful of scrambled egg.

“Okay, seriously, what’s your deal? What’s going on in my wall right now?”

“Nothing that’ll bother you,” they said, following it up with a muttered probably—which was not the most reassuring reassurance she’d ever received.

When she pressed, they rolled their eyes and apologized for mentioning anything. She couldn’t tell if this was their usual borrower neurosis at work or if she should be worried too. 

Until she came home. They obviously hadn’t slept, which was concerning. Phoebe missing a night of sleep was hardly worth mentioning. She was always missing sleep here and there and just upped her caffeine to compensate. But Val slept like a cat—darling purring included—with long, frequent naps throughout the day and started slowing down around noon if they went without.

They weren’t themself after a day without sleep. They were almost clumsy as they crossed the kitchen island to greet her, a near unbelievable sight. They barely jumped when she dropped her keys. And they were interrupted by a yawning fit before they could even get out a hello. Something had kept them up.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You don’t look it,” she said. 

“I just didn’t sleep,” they said, looking down to pick at their sleeve. “Um, I was thinking if I’m going to be like your roommate, out here all the time, it would be easier if I was uh…day-turnal? Is that the word? You know, not nocturnal.”

“Is that healthy?”

“...it won’t kill me.”

“Not for the first time, I am begging you to set the bar higher than that. You should take better care of yourself,” Phoebe sighed. 

“Maybe when survival stops taking up so much of my time,” they muttered.

“It’s been easier with me, hasn’t it?” she asked.

Putting aside today’s sleep deprivation, Val looked healthier than when she’d first met them, less bony and more smiling. They were less afraid, even if they were still overly preoccupied with how they were failing to impress their nearby colony. They had learned how to relax.

“Mm. Mostly.”

She held out her hand to offer them a ride and they flopped forward onto their palm. They chatted for awhile as she put away her things, and as she started to make dinner, they scuttled up her hoodie sleeve to free up her second hand. They settled on her shoulder and slumped against her neck after a few minutes of quiet. She smiled and tucked them into her hood. They shifted suddenly, startled, then sighed and curled up to drift back off to sleep. and they cozied up against her neck in the collar of her hoodie. 

Yeah, they’re struggling to survive alright.

She let them settle into position so they wouldn’t fall while she made dinner. They were incredibly still and light that she could almost forget they were there, aside from when she shifted in a way that brushed them against her bare skin. Normally it was flattering to have them fall asleep against her, knowing how terrified they’d been of her at first, but today it was just concerning.

Her eyes kept wandering towards the soffit over the cabinets. She had a rough idea of where Val’s home was up there, after watching them try to talk with their sibling last month, but that was about all she knew about their living quarters. When they traded sizes, she was in no shape to climb through the dark maze that would lead her there. And she’d have to take a hammer to the drywall to find it like this, which she wasn’t quite willing to do in a rental unit. This wasn’t the first time she had wondered just what was back there but it was the first time her stomach twisted so sharply at that particular unknown. 

—

Hollow

Hollow was furious. Rain practically steamed off his back as he stormed through the muddy garden back to Glenwood Court. The witch was worse than useless. The winged asshole had made him wait for hours while he tended to other folks seeking help, only to tell Hollow nothing about what Val had gotten themself into. 

The witch had rambled on for quite some time, talking about auras and signatures and essence and dreams and a dozen other terms Hollow didn’t understand, only to summarize that he had no idea what Val had gotten themself into or who had dragged them there. Rather, he had said that no one had done this for Val. The spell was Val’s doing. 

The suggestion was terrifying and absurd. When would Val have had time to learn magic? When they were locked in that girl’s cage? When they were half-dead with fever? While struggling to survive with only half the skills they needed? 

Ely had pulled out a plastic lens to show off his discovery, then retrieved an armful of things he’d borrowed from Val. He proudly said there was only one signature-whatever on them, as if that meant anything, and gestured for Hollow to see for himself.

Hollow saw red as he took in the sight of the collection and stormed, but not before without snatching up the collection. Ely had no fucking right to these things. It wasn’t borrowing if it was something the last owner still needed, especially if you could live without it. It wasn’t borrowing if the owner would notice your findings were gone. 

Hollow didn’t recognize everything Ely had stolen, but he could tell it was important. A sturdy hook, several worn glass beads, a handful of wax, and a torn scrap of flannel that Hollow did recognize as old and precious. There’s no way Val wouldn’t notice this stuff missing. And Ely wasn’t going to take it back, he’d just let it all turn to dust in that rat nest he had in his shed now that it had served its purpose. So Hollow was going to do so instead.

Probably.

He started to doubt himself once he squeezed his way back into the cool, dry wall. It would be so much easier to keep heading west to make his way home and go to bed for the day

But the witch had given him one useful piece of information. Good news, even, theoretically. Whatever magic Hollow had seen Val using wasn’t permanent—Val had been asleep in bed when the witch’s associate had arrived to raid the place, not human. So they might even be home now. Awake. Hollow could, as the witch had suggested, talk to them himself. 

He stood near the entrance to Val’s loft for a long while to work up the nerve to go inside or let his resolve fall apart completely. He hadn’t checked in on them at all since last month, when they’d been…not normal. He’d been avoiding the entirety of the east wing as much as he could. 

He grit his teeth and dropped in.

The same electric candle still flickered on the table, casting dancing shadows over a complete mess. Not the disheveled hoard that most borrowers kept and certainly not the tidy shelves that Hollow had come to expect from Val. Things had been thrown around in a hurry. Hollow’s fur bristled. It was quiet, with no sound but the water flowing through one of the pipes overhead.

“Val? You home?” he whispered.

They weren’t. Hollow chewed his lip. He was worrying about nothing, probably. He should just set Val’s things on their bed and go back to his own life. Val would come home 

Except Hollow hardly believed there was any such thing as a borrower worrying too much. 

Ely was a big guy, near six inches tall. It would have been entirely reasonable for Val to abandon their nest if they’d been awake when the witch broke in. They would have had to defend it themself, since the colony had kept them in a lonely exile in the east wing, and they obviously hadn’t been willing to fight if Ely had thought they slept through the whole thing. 

They could’ve run anywhere, but Hollow had a sick feeling that they’d leave the walls and hope the host protected them. The whole reason they weren’t allowed into the colony was because Sage believed they had a dangerous fondness for humans—a rumor Hollow had done nothing to quash to maintain his own reputation. Maybe the rumor was true after all. That host had to have noticed them at some point, if they had magicked themself up to her scale. But that didn’t mean she would like them. 

Hollow took a deep breath and crept back down into the cupboard. It might be nice to not make the runt’s life worse, for once.

-

taglist: @da3dm @gt-daboss @whumpsday

[kadextra]

after my previous post, I decided to read ahead of the manhwa now bc I can’t wait!!! and I kinda feel like writing down some liveblog thoughts here while doing it :D

here we go, starting from chapter 184

[ MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!! DO NOT CLICK if you haven’t ever read before. I’m so serious its a lot of spoilers. pls just ignore this and scroll on ]

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ummm dokja saying “oh this scenario will be fine! don’t worry i’m prepared this will be problem-free & so very easy haha :)” + getting all emotional about his friends is setting off my red flag senses so hard. dokja you still have the fate message praying on your downfall….

dokja I’m scared. Dokja I Don’t Like This

ah. hah. the demon king guy is literally dead on the floor 🧍awesome

damn I knew this couldn’t be trusted and some plot twist would happen it was never going to be that simple. someone has to take the position now. I hate you nebulaes how about you catch these hands

OH NO JOONGHYUK?? YOU STUPID IDIOT STOP

my boys are fighting o(-(

yo wait turns out the world won’t reset even if he regresses??? but still :( he won’t be able to see this to the end and will get stuck back in the loop :(( joonghyuk has changed so much from the start and I’ve grown to like him a lot he doesn’t deserve this I’ll cry

OF COURSE DOKJA GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF INSTEAD. ITS HIS FAVORITE HOBBY!

dokja’s self reflection of how the reason he survived all the tragedies in his life is bc of TWSA & watching how joonghyuk never gave up…. the whole “it’s because you saved me so now it’s my turn to save you” from a person directed to their favorite character and their favorite story which was their life companion…. honestly I don’t quite have words to describe the way these lines make me feel. it’s just profound and deeply relatable

gilyoung my poor son he doesn’t want his hyung to die 😭

sighs it’s too late. at least demon king dokja looks cool…. now the wings fanart I’ve seen in passing makes sense…..

he’s a goner

I am going to be completely honest. I genuinely expected to be reading more of an epic shounen-style final battle where he uses all the cool corrupted demon powers and maybe goes a little wacky because that’s usually what happens in stories when the protagonist unlocks an evil power and has to fight his friends. NOT THIS????????

the situation has zero hope and he is just standing there one sidedly taking hits from his friends who are forced to kill him. while guiding them on how to do it. smiling and offering them words of encouragement. this is so devastating I feel sick

URIEL MY BABY seeing her cry is the worst it’s torture

of course his stigma is called sacrificial will

STOP

THAT ARTWORK

THEY ARE HIS LOVED FAMILY…… HE LOVES THEM ALL N JOONGHYUK WAS YHR PERSON HE LOVED MOST I CALLED IT I want to hit something

im full on crying now

all the constellations messages of they don’t wish for his death I’m not strong enough

reading this feels like getting ripped apart limb by limb

NO WAY THE FVGTIFJFJCKN HELD BY THE NECK THING RETURNS A THIRD TIME LIKE THIS??? STOOOPPPPPPPP

uriel T-T

he died

demon king of salvation

need to just lay here for a bit

ok I’m back joonghyuk is disassociating from the grief. relatable

“What if Yoo Joonghyuk went back and there was no Kim Dokja? or what if Kim Dokja never acted like this again? Yoo Joonghyuk was afraid of something for the first time.”

“He met Kim Dokja in his third regression and they became companions. Then he lost Kim Dokja”

he cares for him so much

a scenario without dokja.

whag did I just read

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UGH that was so good. emotional damage was an understatement now I get why ppl were warning me

why did I decide to do this in the middle of the night…. I need to stop now I’m tired but how am I going to sleep? im haunted with thoughts

it’ll take a bit longer for the manhwa to adapt this part but I’m honestly really glad I continued reading and got to imagine it all myself in detail first- it hit so hard. I’ll let it sit and take a few days break before I continue. excited to see how they adapt it into drawings and cry all over again cause this wound ain’t healing for a while

I have the need to recommend this story to all my friends and family

oh right!!!!

the other day I went through youtube animatics & saved some that I could watch when finishing certain chapters into a note (thank goodness most put a warning of when to watch in the first few seconds!)

since I finished 188, I get to watch this one :D

I just watched it

I cry myself to sleep

[echidna-enquiries]

Thunderhawk approaches this family of Guardians curiously, sporting an excited demeanor. “Hello there Guardians! I’ve heard lots from Iris and even Fae about you all. I’m curious, do you all do anything fun together as a family beyond the usual Guardian duties?”  

Marcello: (grins widely) Oh I'm SO glad you asked! (his tail gives an excited wag) We actually try to have meals together, a few times a week at the very least. It's mostly at dinner, it's actually quite successful. It cuts down on how many of us have to cook individually, cuts down on too many leftovers in the fridge, and it's just nice to be able to sit together like a family. STRICTLY no work talk at the table, that's the one rule. (he laughs)

Johnathan: (Quickly pokes his head in) I like to try to have movie nights with the family, or even try to watch shows together, it's a lot of fun, although it's never everyone... kinda impossible to get somethign EVERYONE likes BUT it's still great with a good chunk of us. I even manage to get Shepherd on board occasionally... although his movie tastes are a bit too intense for everyone.... (nervously laughs)

Marcello: Oh! and game nights too! We'll change between trying those video games that Lance tries to recommend or the classic board games. Morgan likes to try these sort of roleplaying dice games. I've gotten sucked in quite a few times! (chuckles)

Johnathan: And some of us like to try and go on outings together, like Seth will into the city quite a lot and he usually is happy to go alone but he's always happy if someone wants to come with him, and some of the others do.

Marcello: And last thing that came to mind, they're rare but if we CAN we actually really enjoy having at least a vacation day where we can just have a break from work. They're really hard to get by though. Johnathan: Yeah... (Looks sad for a moment, pouting but perks up after a moment) Remember the last one we went to?

Marcello: Ah yeah, we went to a beach off island. It was SO nice. Everyone had a nice time... well, a least most of us.

Johnathan: Aw, the less outdoorsy ones found a way to enjoy it, remember the boardwalk? We didn't force them outside for long.

Marcello: Yeah... Agh, sorry! We're rambling! (he laughs) But yeah, we really do try to do stuff together. Not force it mind you, we all still do live together and work together but... we want to still try and have moments where we can bond and feel like a family. : D