#and I was thinking about bitching about it

[woniverse-writes]

Dancing with ENHA as their Secret-Girlfriend!Idol!Reader

summary: enha dancing with their secret significant other 

word count: 4.2k

warnings: suggestive at times, not proofread, fem reader

Lee Hee Seung: 

It was public knowledge that you and Heeseung were friends since you had trained together at one point

However it was NOT public knowledge that you two actually ended up becoming a couple after you both debuted 

With that being said, fans were overjoyed any time you were seen together, always thinking your interactions were so cute and wholesome

One day a video of the two of you pre-debut got leaked

It was a clip of a practice video of you dancing to “Bonnie & Clyde” by DEAN

The choreography was good and you both danced well, but anyone watching could tell that the two young trainees were nervous to be dancing with each other 

Fans of both groups thought the video was pure gold though since it showcased how much you’d both grown as performers, and the fact that it was another interaction between their favs

The video trended on social media for about a week or so before the chatter and excitement was redirected to a NEW dance practice video… 

which just so happened to be of you and Heeseung recreating the choreography from so many years in full

It was a well filmed, high quality performance 

The two of you had even gone the extra mile and re-recorded the song as a duet, making it a full cover

Any trace of the awkwardness from your trainees days had been nowhere to be found

You and heeseung were dripping confidence and sex appeal as you danced together

A majority of the dance was spent with the the two of you in close contact- his arms around your waist, your palms trailing down his chest, him hands tracing the outline of your body

you were practically in your own little bubble and that shit read very clearly on camera

Of course your fans went even more feral

Twitter was full of praise for your growth and everyone was saying how you and heeseung must be so much closer now than back then 

(if only they knew just how close👀)

And of course there were some smart fans (that unfortunately probably got called delusional) who could sense the thick sexual tension between the two of you

✪ ‘Y’all- there is absolutely NO WAY these two aren’t fucking😭’ ✪ ‘I genuinely feel like i’m interrupting something’ ✪ ‘Heeseung… if you’re not gonna get to work please step aside so i can have my turn with y/n’

It definitely was added to every single “top kpop moments of 20XX” video and thread

And since you’re both evil-

You each had made casual posts on sns about the process after

‘Did engene enjoy our little throwback collab?’ and the bitch posted a mirror selfie of the two of you sweaty and half dressed🧍‍♀️

Park Jong Seong:

Jay always loved watching you dance

Tbh jay loved to watch you do anything- but dancing was one of his favorites

Any time you had a comeback, he always wanted you to teach him the choreography as soon as possible- whether it was cute, sexy, or fierce- that boy was gonna learn it 

Which meant when the song actually dropped he’d be the first to make a tik tok with you every time

And of course the opposite rang true as well- 

Whenever enhypen had a comeback you were the first to learn the new choreo

The tik toks are always so cute too-

Like- that’s your man so of course you’re gonna be cute with him lmao

It’s mostly because you know he gets flustered so easily when you tease him or flirt with him in front of the other members or staff

It’s especially hectic when your comeback schedules overlap because trust their will be new tik toks every other day

You guys got especially brave when enha was promoting “bite me”...

Instead of just doing the pre-chorus together and posting that like the others, you did the whole pre-chorus AND chorus… WITH THE PARTNER WORK

If fans weren’t already going feral over the boys dancing with partners before, they definitely lost their shit at your mini collab

✪ ‘Oh my god… there’s no way this is real’ ✪ ‘Jay… your hands are a little low there buddy😅’ ✪ ‘So they just casually covered half of ‘Bite Me’ on a random Thursday? Okay cool’ ✪ ‘THE WAY JAY LOOKS AT Y/N OMFG’

It actually took fans longer than expected to realize you were filming together even when your promotional schedules didn’t lineup, so of course rumors started eventually

However it seemed like your fans were just rolling with it since your interactions were fun an cute (they’ve been praying for a collab stage between your groups since debut)

There was one time you filmed with heeseung instead of Jay and it lowkey threw everyone for a loop

Was it intentional? Absolutely not! Well- maybe slightly 

You and your members were curious to see if anyone would react- had your fans even noticed that you only ever film with Jay? (yes, they noticed it right away)

So you can imagine the comments when you posted of you and Heeseung doing the choreo for “brought the heat back”

✪ ‘Uhmmm?? What happened to your man???’ ✪ ‘Omg no mom and dad are fighting‘ ✪ ‘HEESEUNG PLZ TELL ME YOU CAN FIGHT BRO’ ✪ ‘Peace and love but where is Jay…”

Yeah… it gave y’all a good laugh 

There have also been plenty of time where you’ve posted your own little dance covers without Jay, or even just danced to his songs casually on live while jamming out, which always excited fans of both groups

Basically his fans and yours know SOMETHING is going on between you two and for some reason no one really talks about it like you’d expect them to…

Sim Jae Yun:

You and jake had been invited to be part of an end-of-the-year collab stage

It was supposed to be a fun little performance between a few different male and female idols

At the time- the only people who knew about your relationship were your groupmates, meaning it was especially hard to see each other without getting caught

However when your manager gave you the news that you’d be collaborating with a few different idols, and that your boyfriend just so happened to be one of them, your heart started to race 

You attended a meeting with your manager in which you were informed that you’d be working with Lee Isa, Kim Gaeul, Kang Minhee, Park Jisung, and of course Jake

The stage would have three parts- a section for the girls, a section for the boys, and then one where you all came together 

The overall vibe was fun and flirty, and you’d each be partnered with someone

The second the idea of “partners” was introduced, you and jake immediately made (what you thought was subtle, but was definitely not) eye-contact

The meeting wrapped up and you were immediately conversing with you were manager, trying to subtly convey how you thought it would make most sense for you and Jake to be partners 

Unbeknownst to you, Jake was doing the exact same thing

Luckily, it worked and both of your managers were able to get the two of you to be partners

You all began preparing immediately, and since some of the partner work was different for each pair you’d all broken off to learn separate bits of choreography 

You and Jake had begun working on a few different combinations, since the song decisions hadn’t been entirely finalized yet

The first one you worked on was to “Invitation” by JUNNY and Gaeko, which totally fit the vibe of the overall stage concept

Except it was maybe a bit TOO flirty (or perhaps that was just you and Jake)

You were easily able to connect and play into the each other’s artistry

Your relationship had always been full of playful energy and putting a smile on the other person’s face, so dancing together just felt like another extension of that

The choreography was intense and fast, hitting every accent and ad-lib, requiring a lot of texture and groove

but after learning the steps and running it once or twice to get the moves down it felt like second nature, especially since all your charisma and stage presence was really just you having fun with your boyfriend 

Lots of behind the scenes content was filmed and unfortunately… some got leaked to the public 

Somehow yours and jake’s first dance practice got leaked, as well as Jisung and Isa’s and the video of yours, Gaeul, and Isa’s section

This was before anything was announced to let the public know a collab was even happening so fans were shocked on so many levels

✪ ‘We’ve got (your group), enhypen, ive, nct, stayc, and cravity members doing a collab?? Where did this even come from???’ ✪ ‘Gaeul, Y/n, and Isa dancing to “greedy” by Ariana Grande was not something i knew i needed- welcome back “wow thing” collab group’ ✪ ‘Jake and Y/n look like they’re having so much fun together i love them :(‘ ✪ ‘I feel like I've never seen Jake have this much fun while dancing! You can tell he really feels comfortable dancing with Y/n’ ✪ ‘The way they look at each other, oh i feel sick’

Unfortunately after that all the songs and choreography had to be changed :/

Park Sung Hoon:

Close by Nick Jonas

As the main dancer of your group, your company loves to highlight you any chance they get

This resulted in you doing frequent dance videos, collabing with other idols in order to reach outside your normal audience and hopefully attract some new fans

Sunghoon, ever the supportive boyfriend, makes sure you tell him every time a new video is going to be released so that he can have youtube open and ready for when it drops

texts you immediately after about how talented you are and how proud he is of you for taking on the challenges of choreographing and coming up with new ways to showcase your skills as a performer

Sometimes will just randomly pull up your videos and start watching them while y’all are hanging out

You had always told him beforehand who you’d be dancing with and he never expressed being bothered by any of your idol partners-

until he realized you yourself were picking them

You were sitting in his bed one day (watching one of your recent videos lol) when he suddenly looked up at you with the saddest puppy eyes ever 

“How come you’ve never asked me to dance with you☹️”

Oh he’d be so pouty and sulky omg

You’d been expecting that question for a while honestly

“Baby I’d love to dance with you, but would your company let us?” 

sunghoon hated that you had to be logical all the time, so he just rolled over to bury his face in your stomach, and groaned in despair

(This drama queen)

He eventually just wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted his head to rest his chin on your tummy, peering up at you

“Can we ask them tomorrow…”

You couldn’t stop the affectionate giggle that left you as you played with his hair and nodded softly

The next day, you talked to your manager first- proposing your next idea

Now you see- your manager loves sunghoon, your whole staff does really

They all think the two of you are perfect together, and would honestly probably announce you were official right this second if hybe let them

So it wasn’t a problem convincing your team to let you dance with your boyfriend

Of course that wasn’t exactly the case for Sunghoon’s team

It definitely made sense why they weren’t totally onboard with the idea- being worried about dating rumors and such- but you and hoon hadn’t had a single rumor involving each other up to that point!

They eventually caved and agreed, realizing it would be a good opportunity since all the other idols you had invited so far were all known as well-respected dancers in the industry

You ended up decided on going for a more intimate and contemporary vibe than you had done so far

“Close” by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo was the song you had agreed on using, having had already talked about choreographing to this song together just for fun at some point

You had worked with a choreographer from hybe, expressing your vision and showing some of the ideas you had, and the process went extremely smooth

The dance ended up being sensual and emotional, highlighting both of your skills as contemporary dancers

A good chunk of the choreography was spent with the two of you having very little physical contact, but being so close to each other that it delivered such a feeling a yearning

However, the last chorus totally changed the vibe

You two walked backward, facing away from each other, and right as you were about to bump into each other sunghoon abruptly turned around gripping your shoulder and whirling you to face him- leading to a sequence of quick spins and paired movements, finally breaking the pattern of avoiding physical contact

And the rest of the dance spent with you two practically glued together

The performance continued with sunghoon pulling you in toward him, you running your hands up his chest and neck and landing softly on his face before pulling him down to almost meet your lips

The two of you slowly walked together to the beat of the music until sunghoon’s back was hitting the wall

It came to an end with hoon sliding down into a seated position on the floor, leaning against the wall- you sliding down in sync, landing on his lap- his face still in your hands, his hands on your hips, foreheads leaned against each other’s

The choreography was so intimate that unfortunately hybe’s fears came true

The dating rumors were instantaneous…

✪ ‘This is such an unexpected pairing but it makes so much sense’ ✪ ‘Oh! My bad y’all i’ll just- i can just- uhm- lemme just leave the room and come back later’ ✪ ‘I know y/n said this performance was gonna be a bit different from her other’s but i didn’t think THIS is what she meant😭’ ✪ ‘Soooo, is this a safe space to say I wholeheartedly believe Y/nHoon is real?’ ✪ ‘Girl Y/nHoon BETTER be real after THAT’ ✪ 'the thoughts i'm thinking... i feel like my account would get suspended if i shared them👀'

And if that wasn’t enough to get them going, there was all the behind the scenes material as well

Both your company and hybe had released behind the scenes videos of the project, except they couldn’t have been more different

While the one posted to enhypen’s channel was mostly sunghoon being interviewed and shots of him practicing individually, with the occasional partner shot or interaction between you two

Your behind the scenes video had plenty of shots of you and hoon laughing and playfully bickering together

Clips of you finishing the choreography and falling against him, with him wrapping his arms around you and swaying back and forth circulated twitter immediately 

There were plenty of other moments that had fans fawning over your relationship

Such as when you wrapped up filming and sunghoon slid his hands from your hips to fully wrap his arms around your waist and pull you down to lay on top of him on the ground

Let’s just say hybe had to release a statement pretty soon after that

Kim Seon Woo:

Sunoo and you always post together 

vlogs, lives, story posts- you name it

Most fans never really thought anything of it since a majority of the time it was just you two shopping, trying new snacks, or talking about skincare

But there was also so much content you didn’t post

Like the countless couples tik tok trends that are sitting in your drafts (his favorite is the one where you put on lipstick and accidentally smudged it, then the camera turns to him covered in lipstick kiss marks)

But there are also surprisingly a lot of random dance videos you have of the two of you 

Sometimes when you’re hanging out at one of your company’s studios you’ll just turn on a song and come up with fun random choreography 

One of Sunoo’s favorites that you guys have come up with was to “Wildflower” by 5 seconds of summer

It was sensual and flirty, but still fun and cute- and the video conveys that perfectly with how much the two of you are giggling and clinging to each other

It started off really well! Both of you were locked in, hitting the snaps and beats perfectly, your expressions nothing short of perfect and professional 

But the second it got to the chorus your smiles were overtaking your faces as you tried to stay focused on the choreography and not burst out laughing

You still danced the routine perfectly! There just came a point in the dance where neither of you could stop smiling at each other

By the final chorus you were fully teasing your giggly boyfriend by mouthing the words with an overly flirtatious expression while running your hands down his neck and chest, causing him to squeeze your waist and teasingly pull you into him making you burst out laughing, before finishing out the dance with the biggest smiles anyone has ever seen 

You both often rewatch the video and your smiles end up being almost as big as the ones you had in the video

You were sitting with Sunoo one day and asked him if it was okay to post it to your personal account, and he excitedly agreed

However- for some reason you didn’t check to make sure you were on your private account instead of your groups account before you hit post, and without realizing, uploaded your choreography to your groups official instagram with the caption ‘me and my wildflower sunny baby☀️🌺’

It was only about 15 minutes later when sunoo was scrolling through his own instagram when he turned to you panicked

“Baby… you posted it on the wrong account”

“WHAT?????”

You immediately called your manager crying and freaking out, while sunoo called jungwon trying to explain the situation 

Both your management teams came to the agreement that no one would say anything about the video unless it got severely out of hand

They thought it would be best to keep the video up to avoid suspicion, However, you did have to change the caption

Aside from the crazies, most fans were eating it up!

✪ ‘I love that they’re so comfortable with each other, this is so cute’ ✪ ‘Their smiles and giggles🥺’ ✪ ‘I feel like we never get to see sunoo’s dance abilities highlighted, so i’m honestly grateful that y/n shared this’ ✪ ‘Oh they’re so in love don’t even try to deny it’

Yang Jung Won:

You had been hinting to your fans about doing more dance content, but the last thing they expected was for a video of you and jungwon dancing to “two hands” by Tate McCrae to randomly show up on your groups youtube channel one day

The video was professionally recorded in a cool location and the two of you had on cool but comfortable outfits

Basically y’all looked cunty asf and everyone was losing their shit over it but we’ll come back to that

The choreography involved the two of you being in some sort of physical contact for almost the entire thing

And when you weren’t touching, you were face to face staring into each other’s soul

It was lowkey like you were leading the dance at times and jungwon was hypnotized by your movements (which let’s be honest, he totally was)

By the last chorus, you and your boyfriend were in full contact

Jungwon’s hands had pulled you in closely, your hands resting on his chest with his low on your back

There was a moment where you just sensually gazed into to each other’s eyes, caressing each other while you mouthed the words to the song

Jungwon leaned in closing his eyes, fully preparing to kiss you, but you teasingly turned your head back toward the camera right as your lips were about to meet, giving a flirtatious wink and smile

The turn caused jungwon’s lips to brush your neck, but the way it was captured by the camera made it hard to tell if he actually made contact with your skin

The rest of the dance consisted of one or both of you having your hands on the other without a break, never breaking the connection 

There was even a part where you had your hand on your boyfriend’s face and he followed your movement, seemingly hypnotized by your touch

Jungwon’s hands quickly found their place on your hips shortly after

The dance finished with two posing- you in front of him, reaching behind to place your hand on the back of his neck, as he placed his hands on your hips

Won gently rubbed your hip as he waited for the director to call cut, ad when they did he collapsed against you, fully wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his face into your neck

(That cute moment was captured and posted on your instagram story after the official video dropped)

Speaking of social media…

The thing is, both you and your boyfriend are chaotic and slightly evil, so the second the video dropped y’all were refreshing twitter to see people’s reactions

✪ ‘Oh okay so they’re a thing’ ✪ ‘Yang Jungwon and L/n Y/n… WHAT IS THIS????’ ✪ ‘So like- do y’all need a third or…’ ✪ ‘HIS LIPS WERE LITERALLY ON HER NECK I’M NOT CRAZY’ ✪ ‘Need whatever they’ve got goin on real bad’ ✪ ‘Jungwon heard the lyrics “your two hands on me at all times” and took that shit literally wow’ ✪ ‘Y/n turning to look at the camera right as won is about to kiss her… GIRL MOVE IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA KISS THAT BOY’ ✪ ‘The hand placement, oh i’m so fucked’ ✪ ‘L/n Y/n the woman you are…’ ✪ ‘The way Jungwon’s movements get obviously more desperate at the end of the choreography when Y/n has her hands on his face… WALK HIM LIKE A DOG MAMA😛’

You and Jungwon were giggling and saving posts were a good two hours

Nishimura Riki:

It wasn’t unusual for you and ni-ki to hang out in a practice room and just jam, coming up with random choreography combinations for fun

It also wasn’t a secret that the two of you knew each other and hung out, but most just assumed you were friends since you had also hung out with other members of enhypen before 

However neither of you had ever posted anything together aside from mayne a couple of tik toks

So it came as a shock to his fans (and yours) when Ni-Ki went live, only for everyone to see him cozied up in one of hybe’s practice rooms with you 

The live started with the two of you laying on the floor with the phone propped up against the mirror wall at the front of the room, just chatting and giggling over random stuff (losers in love)

In fact Riki was so chatty that fans were even starting to comment on it

‘The only time Riki has stopped giggling or yapping has been to listen intently to y/n..’

‘I swear these two are so chatty together, what's going on??’

Eventually you guys started getting antsy and decided to turn on some music and jam again

It was just some ciphering back and forth for a while until “pour up” by DEAN came on and you froze and made eye contact

“Should we do it?” Ni-Ki asked in regard to the choreography the two of you had come up with to the song earlier that week

“I mean… why not?” you shrugged with a mischievous smile

“It’s a little… risky- don’t you think?” he giggled while unconsciously moving closer to you, but you just giggled in return before starting the choreography while holding eye contact

He laughed a bit in shock, watching you dance for a few more seconds before joining in

By the time the chorus arrived the two of you were locked in, facing forward again toward the camera

It seemed like pretty tame choreography at first with a slightly sensual 

Until the second verse came

You and Riki started crossing paths and interacting more within the choreography, showing off just how much chemistry you have together as dance partners

There were plenty of little moments with little flirtatious touches here and there but the connection was on full display by the last few seconds of the song, with Riki’s arm draped casually around your waist as the two of you swayed side to side

You pretended to walk off as the song ended, still feeling the vibe, but as soon as the next song started playing you screamed dramatically and fell to floor in a heap of embarrassment, leaving your boyfriend to laugh at you from behind

Ni-Ki walked past you back to the phone to check the comments and he noticed the viewer count has tripled since before you started dancing

✪ ‘They way they just casually match each others vibe like it’s nothing’ ✪ ‘So can we all agree we need more Y/n and Riki dance content??’ ✪ ‘I would 100% be asking “what are we?” after this…' ✪ ‘Y/n falling to the ground and screaming after, she’s so real’ ✪ ‘OMG LOOK AT HOW RED THEY ARE NOW AWWWW BABIES’

Neither of you could look at each other without giggling for the rest of the live

notes: hey y'all... i'm back (kinda)

[astonmartinii]

day one: when you wish upon a star | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem reader

he's been begging max to set him up ... and look who has him in the grid secret santa!

christmas song: my only wish (this year) - britney spears

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,209,488 others

tagged: carlossainz55, pierregasly & landonorris

f1: it's that time of the year again... it's secret santa time!

view all comments

user1: THE SPEEDOS????

user2: 100% from valterri

user3: what do we have to do to see them on tho ???

user4: HUH?

user3: we're all thinking it??

alexalbon: since you're a blabber mouth @charles_leclerc PLEASE PUT MORE EFFORT INTO YOUR GIFT THIS YEAR

charles_leclerc: my gift was great last year idk what you people are talking about

alexalbon: if i unwrap a calendar i will set horsey on leo

charles_leclerc: @rspca GET HIM

user5: i love with secret santa you can really tell which drivers are actually friends lol

user6: charles... we're looking at you last year

user7: the teaser showed that max got lando ... could be interesting after this season

maxverstappen1: not that i need to ... but i have a plan

user8: really?

maxverstappen1: i have concepts of a plan!

landonorris: please don't like gift wrap like a litter box or something

maxverstappen1: oh i like my cats much more than i like you why would i do that?

maxverstappen1: AHA! I HAVE IT

landonorris: that sounds ominous

carlossainz55: is it something to do with his pathetic crush on a certain someone

landonorris: LALALALALLALALA SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ABOUT THAT MAX PLEASE DON'T I'M SORRY ABOUT AUSTRIA

user9: well now it needs to happen...

user10: whoever came up with the grid secret santa i need to give you a big fat kiss

maxverstappen1: you might not be the only one ....

landonorris: SHUT UP

maxverstappen1: hehehehehee

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 14,055 others

yourusername: gift giving is my love language

view all comments

user14: okay lando i kinda get you

user15: she's friends with max and looks like that and hasn't been hooked? where is the hope for all of us

maxverstappen1: hideous personality 👍

yourusername: and you're my best friend so what does that say about you?

maxverstappen1: i have zero standards?

yourusername: girl fuck you

user16: i hate bitches that can actually wrap gifts

user17: leave me alone with my crinkled shit held together with a whole roll of tape

landonorris: my love language is words of affirmation :3

yourusername: okay mr praise kink

landonorris: WHAT? NO?

yourusername: whatever you wanna say babygirl

landonorris: oh i ... um - yes!

user18: oh brother this dude stinks

alexalbon: he is even worse in real life

oscarpiastri: but it is just as entertaining

landonorris: i'm glad my low self esteem is so funny for you guys

yourusername: you're amazing lando - don't think badly of yourself :(

landonorris: did you or did you not call me a 'stumpy, entitled british bum' the other day?

yourusername: well that's because you were fighting max and unfortunately we're two trauma bonded cats and he therefore comes first

yourusername: but i still love you!

landonorris: LOVE?

user19: someone check on him?

oscarpiastri: i just found him passed out in his driver's room

georgerussell63: that's becoming blackmail material

landonorris

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 803,405 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

landonorris: didn't manage to win the championship this time round but i'm hoping max got me something good in the secret santa to say sorry

view all comments

user20: thank god this season is ending

user21: i think it would've killed me if this title race went to abu dhabi again

user22: it's pookie on pookie crime

user23: i fear one of the pookies may have killed the other if this went on any longer

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

landonorris: um yes? i hate surprises

maxverstappen1: i think you might like this one 😈

landonorris: that emoji makes me think you've been scheming

maxverstappen1: maybe i have? you'll just have to wait and see ...

landonorris: STOP I CAN HEAR YOUR EVIL LAUGHTER FROM HERE

landonorris: seriosuly how many of you are in on this it sounds like a pack of hyenas this is meant to be SECRET santa

alexalbon: what do you mean i don't know anything about this ...

landonorris: alex YOU CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AROUND ME

alexalbon: maybe i just find you real funny lando?

landonorris: really?

alexalbon: NO

user24: they are enjoying torturing him way too much

maxverstappen1: call it karma for all the shit he talked throughout the season

landonorris: NOO I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A NICE GIFT ???

maxverstappen1: oh it's definitely a gift for somone...

landonorris: i deadass won't come to the paddock

yourusername: you'll win it soon lands - just wait for max to retire so i can support you wholeheartedly

landonorris: why not now :((((

yourusername: don't worry babe he's old he'll retire in no time

landonorris: yay 🥳 🙌 😀

maxverstappen1: excuse me?

landonorris: is four championships and y/n not enough?

maxverstappen1: no!

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,302,558 others

tagged: yourusername & landonorris

maxverstappen1: not just because i want another trophy, but i'll pick up my best secret santa award now thanks

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user25: he didn't ???

user26: i think he did

user27: is that not like prostitution?

maxverstappen1: i don't think giving lando a chance to embarrass himself on a date is prostitution

user28: do you have any faith in him?

maxverstappen1: in him? no. but does y/n also have horrible standards and is easily impressed? yes.

alexalbon: he folded so quickly i hope they got it all on camera

oscarpiastri: that was so humiliating it might have to go on a more x rated website

landonorris: OSCAR????

oscarpiastri: it was harrowing mate but she seemed to like it so go you?

carlossainz55: that was a crazy reaction for it to just be y/n

maxverstappen1: i think you're trying to be funny but it might JUST be a skill issue

landonorris: JUST Y/N? KILL YOURSELF

carlossainz55: woah where is the christmas cheer?

landonorris: i will run you over with my sleigh

landonorris: THIS IS THE BEST GIFT ANYONE HAS EVER GOTTEN ME PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

user29: bro is so down bad that he just took carlando out back and shot them

user30: bro is so lost in the sauce that he is threatening a festive hit and run

yourusername: okay max we can stop pretending that i wasn't also begging you to set me up with lando

maxverstappen1: but it's so funny watching him make a fool of himself

landonorris: HUH???

yourusername: newsflash baby, i'm just as in love with you as you are with me

landonorris: AHHHHHHHHH <333333333

landonorris: i'm sorry i'll get back to being in love with you one sec

landonorris: @alexalbon @georgerussell63 @oscarpiastri @carlossainz55 SUCK ON THAT

landonorris: okay i love you y/n :3

yourusername: i love you too you crazy boy

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,430,973 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: christmas wishes do come true!

view all comments

user34: so how long do you think he's had that shirt in preparation?

landonorris: 18 months at least - i have faith in myself even if the others didn't

user35: i can't tell if that's creepy or?

landonorris: IT'S ROMANTIC

yourusername: kiss me it's christmas!

landonorris: only because it's christmas?

yourusername: i guess i can give you a couple more passes...

landonorris: not to be dramatic but now i know what it feels like i might die without it

yourusername: not dramatic at all !!!

maxverstappen1: it is kinda dramatic ...

yourusername: SHUSH!

maxverstappen1: i knew you were mushy about this (your diary reads like a very badly written romance book) but good lord this is awful THESE ARE PUBLIC COMMENTS

yourusername: I FUCKING KNEW YOU READ MY DIARY

maxverstappen1: duh! how else did you think this little scheme came to be?

yourusername: ugh i guess

user36: so like where do i get an f1 driver bestfriend who will invade my privacy to get me a bf?

user37: might just start throwing my diary in the paddock at this point

alexalbon: ur so pathetic i love you

yourusername: excuse me old man

alexalbon: old? OLD?

yourusername: i don't care to google you but i've seen you try and read a menu and scan a QR code so stop declaring your love for my boyf or i will keep going

landonorris: she's so possessive 😩😩😩

yourusername: i ate too many grapes on new year's eve to not get and keep my man

alexalbon: trust me, no one wants ur man

yourusername: tell that to the teenage girls in my DMs

user38: it's a pleasant surprise to see that y/n is just as down bad as lando

user39: match made in heaven ... this MIGHT make me a max verstappen fan

user40: i fear this will be an f1 custody battle for the ages

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 78,209 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: my only wish this year was to finally get you <3

view all comments

user41: i already liked this queen but a queen who loves britney spears christmas... that's mother

user42: one of these most underrated christmas songs ever

oscarpiastri: ... some people have even witnessed her live rendition of it

yourusername: don't sound too excited about it then

oscarpiastri: i appreciated the enthusiasm but like i feel like it was a PRIVATE moment ... not for the whole of the garage to see

landonorris: someone is missing lily ....

user43: i am trying to be joyful as per the holiday season but i am absolutely seething with jealousy

user44: hey siri play that should be me

yourusername: nope sorry never gonna happen :P

user45: okay girl you've made your point no need to rub it in our faces

yourusername: actually i think i will! my bf is pretty why wouldn't i show that off ?

user46: yall can hate her for this but realistically this is how we'd all be if we pulled lando

landonorris: you guys acting as if i'm the catch when it's literally her...

user47: do we think santa's elves can make me a lando norris? REAL ANSWERS ONLY ...

maxverstappen1: WOW you wouldn't think this was a double date trip ...

yourusername: you can't complain about BOTH of us pining and then be annoyed about us being lovey dovey

maxverstappen1: i can and i WILL

landonorris: you know what max you can complain all you want because this has been the BEST secret santa ever

maxverstappen1: so you won't call me a dirty driver next season?

landonorris: eh?

yourusername: make no mistake lando, i may love you but my loyalties on track remain with max

landonorris: as long as you're still coming home with me i guess i'll deal with it

yourusername: luv u xxxx

landonorris: i love you tooooo xxx

user48: is y/n going to do more for the on track tension than the literal fia?

yourusername: always gotta be a woman sorting everything out

user50: babe i think max is just afraid of you and lando is so in love he'll do anything for you

yourusername: AS THEY SHOULD BE

fin.

note: and on the first day of christmas aston martini gave to me a smau that undos all of our max vs lando tension from the season !! thought i'd treat yall to the first day early <33

[beloveds-embrace]

Part two of the Lavender Marriage au! Considered adding smut to this but I chickened out lmao if the ending is abrupt it’s because of that 🙂‍↕️

The four men are fuming.

Since witnessing the lip-lock battle, they’ve been stewing in barely-contained anger. Every time they see you- on your porch in one of those sweet sundresses, humming to yourself as you water the flower boxes or hand them freshly-baked cookies- they’re consumed by a burning desire to tell you the “truth” about your cheating husband. But the ring on your finger, and your seemingly cheerful demeanor, stop them every time.

Still, they’re restless. It’s wrong to let you live in ignorance like this. But also, it’s not their business even if they want it- even if they want you. The thought of ruining your cozy life, despite your husband’s unfaithfulness, isn’t an easy one to swallow.

It becomes easier to think of admitting it all to you with each passing day, though.

“He’s walking around like he’s done nothing wrong! The bastard. How does she not see it?” Kyle grumbles, gesturing wildly with his tea mug. He grits his teeth, watching your husband saunter inside the house without offering to help you. He just puts down a plate of steak Kyle knows is too fucking cooked. Heathen. Bastard. Ughhh.

“She’s either blind or loyal to a fault,” Johnny agrees, sprawled out on the couch, looking far more despondent than usual. “Breaks ma bloody heart, lads. She’s makin’ us lemonade an’ cookies, an’ he’s aff canoodlin’ wiith some bloke under her roof.”

Simon grunts, his eyes narrowing as he joins Kyle’s side. “What kind of man cheats on her? She’s…” He trails off, unwilling to finish the sentence, but everyone knows what he means: She’s perfect.

Meanwhile, John leans back in his chair, puffing thoughtfully on a cigar. He’s been unusually quiet, though it’s clear he’s just as agitated, fist clenching on his lap. Finally, he speaks, his tone commanding.

“We wait until he leaves,” he says, much to the others’ dismay. “We don’t meddle now. If she finds out on her own, we’ll be there for her. Until then, we keep our mouths shut.”

The others grumble, but they nod in agreement. For now.

You, meanwhile, are oblivious to the internal warfare raging next door. Your days are filled with your usual routine of pretending to be the dutiful wife, gossiping with the neighborhood ladies, sweetly cooing about your hardworking husband, and pretending you don’t know they will gosspi about you after you leave. On the way, you also deliver a basket of homemade muffins to your handsome neighbors.

Such good men; they didn’t even yet know they were your little kitchen rats to taste-test everything you make for the annual baking contest. This year, that bitch Beatrice will not win and you swore it.

“Oh, these look incredible,” Johnny says when you hand over the basket. He flashes you a cheeky grin, and you can’t help but smile back, cheeks warm. “Y’know, if yer husband does not appreciate all this, I might just have ta steal ye away, lass.”

You laugh, waving off the comment as a joke, but the other three men go rigid. “Not the time, mate.” Kyle mutters, elbowing Johnny, though you really don’t notice. Their house is coming along so nicely and so fast; the perks of having handy men as its owners, you suppose.

Later that day, while you’re trimming the hedges of your precious little garden , you spot Simon working on their roof. You catch him staring at you- not that you blame him, you are wearing your one of cutest skirt and top- and you give him a small wave. He almost falls off the roof even if he does wave back, so you decide to just focus on the damned hedges and hopefully avoid any more incidents.

They’re so distracted by your lovely self that they almost forget their rage toward your husband. Almost. Because just as Price and Johnny are helping you carry bags of groceries back to your house, your husband- traitorous bastard- walks out of the house all patient and whistling.

“Be back soon, honey! You know how long my business trips take.” your husband calls over his shoulder, giving you a quick wink before he hops into a car and drives off.

Unbelievable.

The tension is palpable. John glares. Johnny looks like he’s seconds from sprinting after the car. Simon mutters, “Unbelievable,” under his breath from where he and Kyle are watching from the window.

“Oh dear,” you sigh, though on the inside you are very happy. You know your husband’s boyfriend has a nice surprise picked for him- you helped get it, after all- and now you have the house all to yourself again. Perfect.

You turn to John, batting your lashes up at him and it is as if all his anger melts away. “Be my guests this evening, John? I’d be terribly lonely, all by myself in this big house.”

John really, truly, fucking hates your husband for doing this to a precious, lovely thing like you. But at least it means they’ll be the ones in your company.

“Alright, doll,” he nods, fond as he watches the grin stretch across your face. “Let me just go tell the muppets, then we’ll come by and help.”

“There’s no need-“

“I insist, sweetheart.”

That evening, as promised, the four of them come by to “keep you company” and help. You’re in your element, flitting around the kitchen in an apron as you serve drinks and chatter away, oblivious to the tension radiating from the group. You are practically glowing; your pretty flowers were complimented and the food looks so good you can’t wait to post it on your instagram.

Simon leans against the counter, arms crossed, staring daggers into the walls- into the portraits of you and your husband. Kyle is poking at one of the cookies you made like it’s done something to offend him, his mind adrift. Johnny’s chopping away at vegetables, muttering under his breath and wishing it was something else under his knife. And John? He’s nursing his whiskey like it’s the only thing keeping him sane. It might as well be. You talk so nicely about your husband and what he’s customized for you in the kitchen, still so unaware of the truth.

John contemplates just telling you right then and there, but then it happens.

The front door swings open, and in strolls your husband, laughing loudly with none other than his boyfriend- the one the group saw kissing. They’re holding hands, both grinning like idiots.

“Sorry we’re back so soon!” your husband calls out, completely unbothered by the fact that your house is now hosting four very large, very angry military men. “I forgot my wallet-”

The rest of his sentence dies in his throat when he notices the four men staring at him, expressions ranging from pure disbelief to murderous rage. His boyfriend freezes too, glancing nervously between you and the men like he’s walked into a firing squad.

“What the bloody hell is this?” Johnny practically shouts, pointing between the two men with the knife. “You’ve got the audacity to bring him here? Here?”

Kyle crushes the cookie when he slams his fist on the table, standing abruptly. “Under her roof? After all she’s done for you? Again?”

Simon doesn’t say a word because he truly doesn’t need to- he’s just staring, fists clenched, practically vibrating with barely-contained fury.

John finally speaks, his voice low and dangerous, pulling your surprised self against his side protectively. “You’ve got some confessing to do.”

Your husband just… blinks, then glances at you. “Wait, you didn’t tell them?”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t think it would come up like this.”

“Tell us what?” John demands, his tone sharp. He is still glaring at your husband and the boyfriend

You wave your hand dismissively, like this is the most normal thing in the world with a soft sigh. “Oh, we’re not really married for love, John. It’s just for the benefits- y’know, keeping his parents off his back and mine off mine.”

The room falls silent. Dead silent.

“What?” Simon finally growls, his voice low and dangerous. All this time…

Your husband grins sheepishly, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Yeah, I’m gay. This is my boyfriend. He’s great, isn’t he?” He says, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek.

Johnny looks like he’s just been hit with the frying pan the vegetables he’d been chopping was meant to go in. “Yer what?”

Kyle stares at you, wide-eyed. “You knew? This whole time?”

You shrug, popping a cookie into your mouth. Ohh, Beatrice should count her fucking days. “Of course I knew. We planned the whole thing together. It’s not that complicated, really.”

Simon mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like a curse.

“Anyways, we do have places to be,” your husband sighs. “I’ll just get my wallet and leave you all be to your date.” When he returns with his wallet a few minutes later, he kisses your forehead. “Bye, love. I snuck some of the cookies too- Beatrice is absolutely not winning this year, trust me.” And then he leaves at last.

John exhales sharply, rubbing a hand over his face. “Let me get this straight,” he says slowly. “You’re married but it’s just… out of necessity, and you’ve just been… pretending to love him?”

“Exactly!” you say brightly, clapping your hands together. “See? Not so hard to understand.”

The four men just stand there, utterly gobsmacked.

“You mean to tell me,” Johnny starts, pointing an accusatory finger at you after placing the knife down. “that we’ve been stewin’ for weeks over a cheatin’ husband that doesn’t even exist?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” you reply with a giggle, pouring a drink. Your eyes widen then. “But you cannot tell anyone here, in this shitty town, about this!”

“We won’t, love, promise.” Kyle groans, slumping back into his chair. “I need a bloody drink.” And then he perks up when you slide him the drink you just made. “…fucking lifesaver you are, love. Thank you.”

Simon just shakes his head, muttering, “Unbelievable.” under his breath.

John sighs, downing the rest of his whiskey in one go. “You’re going to be the death of us, doll.”

You grin, completely unfazed. “Oh, come on, boys. It’s not that bad.”

The four of them exchange a look- one of disbelief, exasperation, and maybe just a hint of relief. Because as much as they’re reeling from the truth, one thing’s clear: you’re technically single. And that, at least, is something they can work with.

[wonderjanga]

I Hate That Bitch. I Hate Him.

There’s only a few people Billy hates. Ebenezer is one of them. Actually, he’s at the top of the list. He hates Eben so much that just the mention of him will send him into a rant. Mary accidentally brought him up at the Watchtower so Junior was greeted with Marvel pacing back and forth while Mary was just watching.

Marvel: “It’s just- I hate him!”

Mary: “I know.”

Marvel: “He makes me want to just- AGH- Like peel my skin off!”

Mary: “Wouldn’t that benefit him?”

Marvel: “You’re right! I wanna peel his skin off.”

Junior: *walks over to Mary* “What’s up with him? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this pressed.”

Marvel: *still ranting*

Mary: “I accidentally brought up him.”

Junior: “Who?”

Mary: “Him.”

Junior: “Again, who- wait is he talking about him him or another him.”

Mary: “Him him.”

Junior: “Ooooooooh. Well then that explains why he’s being such a hater right now.”

Unfortunately, someone overheard this. And also unfortunately gossip spreads fast at the Watchtower.

Flash: *sounds nervous* “You don’t think it’s me right??”

Supes: “I doubt it. I’m just worried it might be me.”

Aquaman: “Please, if anything it’s Hal. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen him ask Marvel to cover his shift on monitor duty.”

GL: “Wha-”

All the Male Heroes: *ranting about how it can’t be them*

Hawkgirl and WW: *chilling and watching this go down because the Marvels mentioned it was a him and not a her, so they were in the clear*

Also, one time, Billy was doing a spell and Freddy mentioned Ebenezer. Billy got so pressed that the magic went haywire and now displayed the name of the person you hate the most over your head.

Black Adam: “Champion! What is this?!” *points to the glowing “Captain Marvel” written above his head*

Marvel: “Ah that’s supposed to be the name of the person you hate the most.”

Black Adam: *looks to the “Ebenezer Batson” written over Marvel’s head* “Yours isn’t listed as my name.”

Marvel: “Yeah, because you’re not the person I hate the most.”

*silence*

Black Adam: “What?” *sounds offended and honestly a little hurt*

[libertarianbean-plz-dont-step-sh]

Deadass what my nonna would have told me if she had 1 mean bone in her body

Oh sweety, you're sad? You know when I was a child your zio got ganged up on, his dog killed and was forced to dig his own grave for the entire night to scare him. But I'm sure you have problems :D

But huh no she does realise that the problems my generation faces are obviously different from hers and she is thankful that they are so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It means my life is much easier and is happy for it.

However, yeah, a speech like that would have helped putting things into perspective. Thankfully I got that fucking realisation myself one random afternoon as I was having a small crisis. I remember some part of my brain turning on, physically slapping myself a couple times and thinking something along the lines of "bitch there are children dying, get over yourself" and so I did. My life legitimately got better at 16 with those smacks lmao sometimes a few well aimed blows even from yourself can help.

Nonna is so fucking right. Agonising over ‘who you are’ and ‘searching for yourself’ isn’t always a good thing and it can just make you feel worse about yourself when nothing in actuality is wrong. Like ‘being yourself’ is definitely important but overthinking your identity and giving yourself a crisis over nothing is not beneficial

[avelera]

Parallels between Jayvik and the Phantom of the Opera

I can't believe I haven't seen any discussion yet around the musical theater influences in Arcane S2 so far (besides my one mention of its parallels with Les Miserables).

So as a basic, Phantom of the Opera-loving bitch, can we please take a moment to examine the Phantom of the Opera parallels that are literally shoved in our faces during this opening sequence and what that means for Jayvik?

Viktor is the Phantom. The show opening outright says it. The parallels are there. They're impossible to miss.

And then, when you dig a little deeper, hooo boy those parallels become even more stark. Especially if you read Viktor as romantically pining after Jayce, which 99.9999% of humanity does.

To quickly summarize, Phantom of the Opera is the story of a deformed genius who falls in love with an opera singer, Christine, and then nurtures her talents, only for her to in turn fall in love with a nobleman, Raoul. The ensuing love triangle is the heart of the plot, with Raoul and the Phantom both vying for Christine's love.

This shouldn't be a hard one to see the parallels for.

Viktor = The Phantom. Literally a genius born with a disfigurement, in this case a disability he sees as a weakness and a disease that is sapping away his life and hope of a legacy. He is riddled with jealousy for the person trying to pull his scientific/musical partner away from him, a person who happens to be beautiful and live a life of privilege that Raoul/Mel could offer to Jayce/Christine instead.

Jayce = Christine. Instead of sharing genius in music, he and Viktor share genius in science. Like Christine, he is tugged between the glittering world of politics and privilege, vs his genius and love at a more esoteric skill, in this case science instead of music.

Mel = Raoul. Literally an aristocrat who is far more beautiful than the Phantom/Viktor, who steals away his partner's attention and offers them a glittering life of privilege in the public eye instead of the wonders of their joint musical/scientific pursuits. Whether or not Mel meant to embody this, or steal Jayce from Viktor, this is the role she fulfills in Viktor's view of the world.

But the most profound moment for me of, "Oh wow, they're doing Phantom of the Opera! Actually, they're not just doing Phantom, they're doing Phantom fixit fic?!" was this:

Which, if you'll forgive the potato quality of the screenshots, is literally the moment Viktor has his mask knocked away and then cringes in on himself to hide his exposed face from Jayce.

Which... is literally a scene in Phantom of the Opera? Just after "Music of the Night"?

But we're already in Phantom fixit territory, because Jayce doesn't recoil like Viktor expects! Instead, he embraces Viktor and loves him for all his self-perceived flaws.

And then, AND THEN, in a moment that made my Phantom-loving heart sing, Viktor tells Jayce to go!

And Jayce doesn't.

In the final song of the Phantom of the Opera musical, Christine is forced to choose between Raoul and the Phantom. She chooses the Phantom and kisses him. Flooded by remorse, the Phantom then relinquishes her to the man he knows she truly loves, and when Christine hesitates to leave, he shouts at her, "Go!" and then, of course, she and Raoul leave together.

Viktor is expecting that to happen! I think his order to Jayce very clearly implies that he thinks Mel and Jayce are still together. It's the classic, "Go be with the woman you love instead of staying here and dying with me," trope that we see over and over again in dramas.

But Jayce. Defies. The Trope.

Unlike Christine and just about every buddy war movie out there, he stays with Viktor. He chooses his scientific/artistic partner over the life of aristocracy and privilege that Mel would theoretically offer him. He chooses the masked genius with the disability and calls him perfect. He refuses to go when he is ordered to leave. He stays with Viktor until the end.

And I still can't believe that no one else is talking about this!

[rue-isabelle]

Part 1 Part 3

Aphrodite of Formula 1, Part 2

The Monaco paddock was buzzing, but not with the usual pre-race excitement. The drivers were all acting out of character, their girlfriends were growing increasingly frustrated, and the fans were having a field day tracking every move. The reason? Yn, as always, was oblivious to the chaos surrounding her.

---

Max and Kelly

Max leaned against a railing near the Mercedes garage, completely engrossed in conversation with Yn. She was telling him about the time she had to coordinate a last-minute team dinner for 30 people, her laughter filling the air as she recounted the chaos.

“You’re incredible,” Max said, shaking his head. “I can’t even organize my own breakfast without someone helping me.”

“It’s just practice,” Yn said modestly.

Kelly, meanwhile, stood outside the paddock, furiously scrolling through her phone. Max had promised to pick her up an hour ago, but there was no sign of him. She stormed into the paddock, her heels clicking furiously against the pavement, until she spotted him.

“Max!” she called sharply.

Max blinked, his attention snapping back to reality. “Kelly?”

“Yes, Kelly!” she spat. “The one you were supposed to pick up an hour ago?”

Yn’s smile faltered. “Oh no, Max, if you need to go—”

“No,” Max said quickly. “It’s fine. She doesn't matter as much as she thinks she does.” He turned back to Yn. “So, you were saying about the dinner?”

Kelly’s jaw dropped. “You’re seriously just going to ignore me?”

“I’ll catch up with you later. Go and be a mom for once,” Max said dismissively, earning an incredulous glare from Kelly as she stomped away.

---

Charles and Alexandra

Charles had been in a great mood all day. Why? Yn had laughed at his joke earlier, and the memory had been replaying in his mind ever since. When the day ended, he spotted Yn leaving the paddock and hurried to catch up with her.

“Yn! Do you need a ride?” he asked, his smile wide.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you, but I don’t want to trouble you,” Yn said.

“It’s no trouble at all,” Charles insisted, opening the passenger door of his car.

“Alright, thank you,” Yn said, climbing in.

Meanwhile, Alexandra stood in the paddock, waiting for Charles to take her back to their hotel. A mechanic approached her, not wanting to talk to her but having lost 'rock-paper-scissor' earlier against the others.

“He left,” the mechanic said awkwardly. “With Yn.”

Alexandra’s face turned red with fury. She let out a scream of frustration, startling everyone around her.

“Are you kidding me?!” she shouted. “What is wrong with all of you?! Why does he prefer this stupid bitch over me. I’m the one he should be fucking, not driving this slut home. Oh, she will pay!!”

Phones whipped out, capturing her meltdown as she stormed through the paddock, cursing under her breath.

By the time Alexandra returned to her hotel, videos of her tirade were all over the internet. Fans mocked her relentlessly, calling her a “gold digger” or "the wicked bitch is out again" and posting memes about her jealousy.

Charles, however, didn’t care. Yn had laughed at his joke earlier, and that was all that mattered.

---

Pierre and Kika

Pierre handed Yn a beautifully wrapped gift box, his smile warm. “I saw this and thought of you.”

Yn opened the box to find a limited-edition Hermès handbag. Her eyes widened. “Pierre, this is too much! I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can,” Pierre said. “You deserve it.”

Kika, meanwhile, had been plotting her next move. If Pierre thought a handbag was impressive, she’d go bigger.

The next day, Kika handed Yn a set of car keys.

“What’s this?” Yn asked, confused.

“A Lamborghini,” Kika said proudly. “It’s yours. Matte black, just like I imagined for you.”

Yn stared at the keys, speechless.

Before she could respond, Kika leaned in and kissed her on the lips, letting her tongueget a taste of Yn's sweet mouth. “I hope you like it,” she said with a wink.

Pierre watched the scene unfold, his jaw tightening. “A Lamborghini?” he muttered under his breath.

---

George and Carmen

Yn joined George and Carmen for a rare day off, excited for a relaxed shopping trip. But George had other plans.

As they browsed a boutique, George held up a sleek, form-fitting dress. “Yn, you should try this.”

Yn blinked. “Me? That’s not really my style.”

“It is now,” George said firmly. “You shouldn’t hide your beauty.”

Carmen nodded approvingly. “That’s so thoughtful, George. Always looking out for her.”

Yn reluctantly tried on the dress, emerging from the fitting room. George stepped closer, adjusting the fabric on her chest. He gave her perfect tit's a squeeze, making it look like he was adjusting the area.

“Perfect,” he said softly. His heart was hammering, his hands not wanting to leave her breast. It was only then that he noticed that Yn wasn't wearing a bra. Her peaky nipples winked at him. He softly stroked over them with his thumbs, before catching himself.

Yn laughed. “You’re too much.” She didn't notice anything, to engrossed in her conversation with Carmen.

Carmen, obviously to everything that George just did, smiled, thinking to herself how sweet George was to look out for her pseudo-sister.

---

Oscar and Lily

Oscar was supposed to be taking photos for Lily’s social media, but his camera seemed to have a mind of its own. Every few minutes, it drifted toward Yn, who was seated nearby, absorbed in her work.

“Oscar,” Lily said, tapping her foot. “Hello? I’m over here.”

“Right,” Oscar mumbled, snapping a quick photo of Lily before turning his camera back to Yn.

Lily sighed but didn’t bother protesting. “You’ve got it bad,” she said, shaking her head.

Oscar grinned sheepishly. “She’s just… perfect.”

---

Carlos and Rebecca

Carlos sat in the paddock, scrolling through his phone. His screen was filled with photos of Yn, her smile lighting up every shot. His panst started feeling tighter, his dick fighting to break free from his trousers.

He didn’t notice Rebecca walking up behind him until she leaned over his shoulder.

“Seriously?” Rebecca said, raising an eyebrow. “Did you just popp a boner in public because of a fucking picture?”

Carlos nearly dropped his phone. “I wasn’t—”. He quickly brought his hands in front of his trousers. However, when he made contact with his dick, he couldn't help imagine Yn on her knees for him, making him moan rather loud.

Rebecca just scoffed at him, feeling disgusted that he acted like that towards Yn in public. She looked him up and down, before muttering "Pathetic Pussy" so only Carlos could hear, and left.

That evening, Rebecca found Yn in her hotel room, exhausted. “You need to take better care of yourself, my love,” Rebecca said gently, brushing Yn hair away from her face.

Yn tried to protest, but Rebecca guided her to the bed and began massaging her shoulders. “You’re too kind,” Yn mumbled, her eyes drooping. Slowly, Rebecca brought her hands lower and lower towards her ass, giving it a squeeze and a soft pad, so Yn would stand up.

Rebecca tucked her in, smoothing the blanket over her. “Goodnight,” she whispered, climbing into bed and wrapping her arms around Yn as the big spoon.

Yn, half-asleep, murmured, “Thank you.”

Rebecca smiled. “Anything for you.” Afterwards, while Yn was asleep, he put one hand on Yn book, playing with it. At the same time, she was sucking a hickey carefully on her neck, licking and kissing her neck afterwards.

---

Despite the chaos, Yn remained blissfully unaware of the war raging around her. For her, it was just another busy race weekend. For everyone else, it was a battle to win her heart, no matter the cost.

@omgsuperstarg

@seonghwaexile

[nninoxasaur]

You know what I need? I need an au where Viktor, Jayce, Vi and Jinx all live in the same disgustingly messy share house and it’s an endearing fucking nightmare. The place is a mess, there are half completed experiments on every available surface, a punching bag in the middle of the living room and scribbles on the walls.

Jayce hates all the Crayola ass wall art Jinx does and Vi is adamant she needs it for emotional expression and if he tries to stop her she will break his wrist. Jinx then starts targeting Jayce’s shit specifically which he then complains to Viktor about.

Vi and Jayce argue over who gets to man the barbeque literally every time because their masculinity depends on it and Jinx and Victor just sit back and watch, amused.

Jayce is the house chef and he’s really great, but he’s also super biased to Viktor’s taste. Down to cutting the meat the way Viktor likes it which Vi thinks is sweet and Jinx complains about loudly. Jinx isn’t even eating the fucking food she’s there complaining about his beta cuck cooking while eating microwave chicken nuggets sitting on the counter.

Viktor is constantly giving Jinx constructive criticism on her work which she complains about but greatly appreciates. The Viktor and Jinx petty bitch fights are worse than the Jayce/Vi barbeque war and can go on for days. We need more of the shit they were pulling in the commune with jinx making an ableist joke and Viktor immediately whipping out the deadname.

Jinx calls Jayce and Vi bitch mitten 1 and 2 occasionally and it pisses them of. Viktor did it by accident once and Jayce was so offended.

Both Viktor and Jayce relate to Jinx with their experiences with suicidal ideation and give her some coping mechanisms to help her and Vi is so grateful she butch lesbians her way through building the two a really nice storage cabinet for some of their inventions.

Vi is not allowed to cook in the kitchen. Everyone else in the house unanimously agreed. She set the microwave on fire one too many times.

This is my season 2 copium and I will be thinking about it none stop until the sun explodes.

[keferon]

texaid mecha au babble.

Even tho Jazz is ofc The Music Guy. Thinking about. Vortex being a chatty MF. Bitching about how most of his previous pilots had NO taste in music, and he killed at least 2 over the annoyance. Maybe he brings it up, teasingly asking First Aid if he wants to pick the soundtrack for his living horror movie. But instead First Aid reflects the question, and asks what Vortex wants to hear. Vortex would probably brush it off, naming the most vulgar song he can think of, but when First Aid actually brings in a little speaker and plays it anyways... totally rags on him for being a people pleaser. And maybe makes him play it loud enough that it echoes in the hangar. It's not like they can just replace the one pilot who survived over a little WAP. But in the end, Vortex does rattle off a few songs. Loud, and violent, and perfectly suited to him. They are played for him, and never satisfied, he asks for more. Over time, the older technicians who listen closely realize that his old workout playlist is being rebuilt- all the tracks he used to listen to in the pilots training area, regardless of how many times he was told to keep it down.

The nostalgia is nice, for a while, but eventually it fades. Vortex is less absorbed in the music, more prone to mischief- not a great mood for him to be in with First Aid inside him. Maybe First Aid finds out some of Vortex's favorite bands released albums after his death, and brings them in. They make a night of it- First Aid standing in the cockpit, playing DJ but still not willing to get in the pilots seat unless necessary. At first he's tense, as usual, unable and unwilling to forget the constant threat of the weapon he entertains. But it goes on a long while- and he begins to sway. Gently, swaying on his feet, tapping the beat out on his arm, nodding his head along. Eventually, the last song ends, and the night is over. First Aid is startled by the silence, and only then realizes his eyes had been closed. On the screen, text mocks him. "Next time you give me a private show, bring the karaoke versions. I wanna know if you sing as poorly as you dance"

Oh MY GOD AHAHAHWHWHWHWHWH

YES. OH THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE IT

Imagine someone who knew Vortex just happen to be around and hear it.

Imagine Swindle entering the building and instantly recognising the song and just. Fucking. Freezing for a second.

[loverafey]

right of course we all think that rafe is dominant in bed alright- but what do we think about submissive rafe wanting to be taken care of after a tiring day? can you write sum for that???

your theme and writing is just so ugghh i love it and i think your writing style would fit my request so GOOD

anon this made me giggle you're the sweetest. <3 !!! confession time i've never written dom!reader before so this is an amazing req :]

pent up ! bf!rafe x reader.

          ꕀ warnings - smut, this is so filthy good lord, switching the dynamics up, dom!reader and sub!rafe, handjob, orgasm denial, he whimpers guys, riding. wc -  1.4k

it’s quite the norm for rafe to come back home all pent up after a long day, sometimes dishevelled and mostly pissed off. it was as if something wrong happened to him every day, at least in his eyes. it was slightly amusing, though you’d never tell him that, lest it does nothing but makes his mood all the more sour.

though it was nothing like today. he hadn’t muttered a word when he came back home from work, hadn’t spared a glance at you, eyes down and lips pursed tightly as he stomped his way into the bedroom. you wouldn’t even have noticed his presence if it weren’t for the sound of his footsteps. rightfully concerned, you rose from the couch where you’d been waiting for him, following after him.

“rafe?” you asked, noting the way his shoulders visibly stiffened up.

“i’m not in the mood.” he grumbled out, not as snappy as usual, just tired and bummed out. you tilted your head curiously, still stepping closer to him until you were in front of him. at this point, you’d gotten used to not caring about the rather hurtful words he’d be spewing out when mad.

“c’mon, what happened?” you asked, hands gently moving up to cup his face. despite the frustration etched on his face, he leaned it, earning a smile on your face as your fingernails lightly scratched against his skin, soothing his nerves.

“stupid fucking- stupid bitch tried to scam me. do people thing i’m fucking dumb, that i’m just some… incompetent replacement of my father?” he rambled on rather hastily, causing his words to get mixed and fumbled. you listened, gently guiding him on the bed. he didn’t resist at all, too exhausted to complain or start another argument that he’d normally do when tired.

“you must be so tired, huh? seems like a really bad day.” you sat down beside him, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling him lean into you. limp and compliant, he rested his head on your shoulder and groaned, pulling you up to sit on his lap, craving nothing but your warmth.

“you’ve no idea.” he huffed against your skin, shuddering when he felt you massaging his tense nape.

rafe was never one to fall into submission. he always had to be on the top, to assert his power over others, anything to fill something. though with you, it was less about power and more about letting him do all the work so you were constantly showered in affection. but today, none of that was playing in his head. he wanted, no, needed you, but he was just so tired.

“baby…” he breathed out while you felt his thighs twitch under your hips, aching to ground up against your crotch.

“do you want me to take care of you, rafe?” the sweetness laced with your words made his heart clench as he pulled his head away from your neck to look at you, blue eyes desperately pleading, cheeks flushed. fuck, he looked beautiful like this, needy with glossy eyes, his fingers harshly tightly into your sides without even realising it.

you let him hold you in whatever way he’d like, your hands finding their way to unbuckle his pants and tugging down slightly along his briefs until his cock sprung out, all heavy and hard, tip already leaking. you couldn’t help but wonder if you could make him cum in his pants, maybe some other day. it already looked like his cock was hurting enough.

“poor baby.” you cooed, words naturally coming out of you much to your surprise. your soft palms against his cock felt like heaven to him, and it was taking everything within him to not thrust up against your hands like something feral. he tried to relax on the mattress, leaning against the headboard as he breathed deeply, feeling your palm swipe up against his sensitive tip, rubbing slowly and lightly, as if barely even touching.

“fuck- stop teasing me.” he hissed through gritted teeth which soon dissolved into a choked moan when your thumb beginning to rub on his tip firmly, collecting the beads of precum before rubbing them down his length. the poor guy was literally trembling from pleasure, not having realised how much tension he had stored within him.

his hands continued to rest on your hips, clenching and tugging at your shirt to ground yourself as one hand of yours rubbed up and down his cock while the other rubbed against the swollen tip. his lips were parted, threatening to swoon as his hips began to involuntarily buck up, his mind feeling all bleary from the sheer bliss coursing within him.

“it’s okay, i’m here for you, and i’m really proud of everything you do for me, for us.” you reassured, unable to suppress a grin at the way his eyes rolled back into his skull at that, just so ecstatic to finally hear someone say that. he’d make sure to worship you fully after this, to kiss you all over, but for now this was all that mattered.

“shit, i’m so-” he couldn’t properly finish his words, whimpering out loudly as his eyes squeezed shut, chasing his orgasm. almost there, almost-

you pulled your hands away, his eyes flying up as he stared at you in shock, still sensitive and fuzzy from almost getting an orgasm. you could’ve sworn those were tears that welled up in those tired eyes of his as he grunted, shaking his head. “w-what, why?!”

“just hold on. patience.” you snickered to yourself, a seductive revenge for every time he’d done the same to you in the past. “you’ve to be a good boy for me or else you won’t be coming tonight.” you spoke as firmly as you could, your amusement still seeping in.

much to your shock, he didn’t retort or fight back, glaring at you as he chewed on his bottom lip. “please…” he croaked out, needily rubbing his denied cock against the front of your shorts. your hand gently smacks the top of his cock, earning a muffled noise from him. seeing him sensitive was surely one of your new favourite things now.

“fine… ‘cause you’re just so tired.” you cooed, lifting your hips up to gently take down your shorts and panties, rewarding him with the view of your pussy that he’d been yearning to see, all soaked. “see? you did this to me.” your fingers teasingly spread your slick folds apart, watching the way his eyes were practically fucking you hungrily alone from his vision.

“please…” he whined out, not even hiding all those pretty noises anymore. he was always loud, but never this pathetic. it was so endearing in a way. positioning your pussy on top of his cock, you slowly sunk in, moaning pleasantly as his girth stretched you out in the best way possible. his head lolled back, gripping your hips tight. fuck, he could just cum like this, already so close to explode.

your hips begin grinding against him teasingly, your walls tightening around him while you moved up and down, feeling his cock pulsating within your warmth. there was just something so special, so him whenever he’d start hitting all the sweet spots inside you with such ease. but something that was much sweeter was the fact that he was obediently taking it all, letting you ride him without him thrusting up into you greedily no matter how much he’d want to.

“you can cum in me, baby.” you encouraged him, causing his eyes to widen. his arms were wrapped around you as his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, feeling you bounce up and down on his cock until he finally reached his peak, his cock twitching maddeningly, thick spurts of cum spurting within your pussy.

he panted heavily, sweat clinging to his forehead, not minding the way your hands began to take off his shirt so he could breathe freely, his chest all flushed. you didn’t pull away yet, letting his cock rest snugly inside you, his lips letting out an incoherent mumble as he clung onto you tight.

“i love you…” he lazily peppered kisses on your neck. drained out, but now in the best possible way.

[ikemenomegas]

@animeomegas This post crossed my dash and I immediately thought of you with cockblock sasuke headcanons haha. Itachi might be exasperated at worst and desperately horny at best during that time, thinking he understands and Sasuke will too when he's older. But I love the idea of Itachi who is sorely mistaken, has pups by the time Sasuke is courting, and is just like this. Suddenly extremely concerned for Sasuke's modesty, "are they making you wear that?" when Sasuke wears something revealing, tries to be nice because he knows Sasuke wouldn't accept someone he's not already serious about, but Itachi's eye is sort of twitching and his alpha has their second child in their arms and are staring at him like "are you okay?" when they have a second alone at a family dinner. He realizes Sasuke might be having extramarital sex and accidentally squeezes a chicken too hard when he's carrying it around in the garden and gets screamed at by a hen - not like Itachi didn't also, but Itachi was already practically married by then! and is his stupid cute little brother being safe? is it possible to be sneaky about taking him to the doctor to get checked out?

Itachi might be a little insufferable during Sasuke's teenage emo/goth rebellion too. Like he learns how to make clothes specifically because he knows Sasuke will wear anything Itachi gets him and they're all cute bulky sweaters or comfortable traditional robes. Sasuke mostly wears them around his house or when he's visiting Itachi, but it lets Itachi delude himself into some semblance of imagining Sasuke dresses like that most of the time instead of being bare chest out in the streets.

Ooh! and maybe part of Sasuke's courting story is running into his future alpha on the way back to his family's home from Itachi's house and he gets flustered and embarrassed at how obviously adorable they find him in sweater paws instead of his current off-both-shoulders, no juban, open-down-to-the-navel uniform.

[very-gay-poet]

tldr; I get mad and start using my love for RE to use lol

they wanna talk about how woman's rights were upheld by Christianity 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

why then, babygirl, are so many of you SO hyperfixated on woman being "restored" to their "natural roles"???

and why then, babygirl, is the Bible translated purely just wrong in the story of Adam and Eve??? Why did ya'll reduce Eve to Adams unimportant rib bone when, in Mathews I believe it was, it uses the same word in the original language but is then translated to roughly "side" or "half".

Eve was made out of Adams "Half" or "side" not his fucking rib bone.

but alright how about I give you an example of another religion hm?

In the Qur'an Khadija (one of Prophet Muhammad's [PBUH] wives) was an INCREDIBLY wealthy and successful business woman with skills she was taught by her father, she was the Prophets wife at the time he started getting visons and words from God and never once doubted him (so much she is often considered the first person to have believed in Muhammad's message) and was the first covert to Islam. It's said that she was actually greeted by God. To make it even better SHE PROPOSED TO HIM. She was the one who'd employed him in her business. She also helped the poor and orphans, widows, the sick and helped poor girls get married and provided their dowry. Oh and if you think she's too "masculine" for her time? She and the Prophet also had six children whom they BOTH cared for. She did what she wanted (rejecting multiple marriage offers), flipped gender roles, but also had children and was a mother. Something ya'll seem to really like right now.

There's also another wife of his who (if I remember correctly) is the reason why we have HALF OF THE QUR'AN. she carried it. on her back.

"...cultures that considered woman as barely even people" bitch be fucking for real. Yes, that IS a problem is some cultures. But don't you DARE say it was because of Christianity that woman have rights when ya'll are actively taking them away.

without irony: we have got to start feeding these freaks to lions again

[creamflix]

IF I WAS A BAD BITCH, I'D WANNA F★CK ME TOO! ( THANKSGIVING EDITION )  ၄၃ gojo satoru x female reader x (female?!) gojo satoru 

18+ content, minors and blank blogs do not interact. established relationship. threesome featuring m & f gojo. switch gojo(s), sub reader. bisexual reader. lots of crack. groping, lots of making out. voyeurism and cucking, fingering (f. receiving), oral (f. receiving), use of onahole, brat taming, mindbreak, overstimulation, pegging, anal sex, riding, praise, competitive sex, creampies, use of dildo, double penetration pussy riding (go lesbians!), fem gojo calls herself "mama" #needthat,

THANKSGIVING SPECIAL!!! are you saying your thanks? either way, make sure to give your duo a kiss - and maybe something more? i wrote female gojo with @owwllly's version in mind, so please show them your love xx

dedicated as always to my pookie daph aka @curtins , my fav bi icon @sugoroo & my lovely taglist. eternally grateful for you freaks, please enjoy. ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

— general masterlist ☆ read on ao3 ☆ series masterlist

thanksgiving. 

a time to reflect, to share warmth, and — what was it again? 

oh yeah — to give thanks.

you and fem gojo are nestled on the couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket, the quiet hum of a holiday special playing in the background. it’s a rare moment of peace, with your boyfriend out handling “very important jujutsu business,” or so he claimed before dramatically declaring that he’d return as the hero of hearts. 

whatever that meant.

“y’know,” she begins, her voice soft for once, her head resting against yours. “i’ve been thinking about this whole ‘thankful’ thing.”

you glance at her, surprised by the uncharacteristic sincerity in her tone. “oh? and what are you thankful for?”

she turns, her wolfcut framing her striking features as she gazes at you with a small, genuine smile. “i’m thankful for… you.”

your heart clenches, a warm flush spreading across your cheeks. it’s rare to see her like this, stripped of her usual snark and bravado. “really?” you whisper, touched.

“yeah,” she says, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “for your kindness, your patience, and the way you…”

she pauses, and you hold your breath, waiting for her to finish.

“the way you let me absolutely wreck your pussy —”

“oh my god!” you groan, shoving her tits with an annoyed smack.

big mistake.

“ohhh,” she purrs, a sly grin spreading across her face as she presses her hands over the spot you just smacked. “do that again.”

“no.”

“please?”

“absolutely not.”

she’s leaning closer now, her grin downright devilish. “c’mon, babe. it’s thanksgiving. give me something to be thankful for.”

you bury your face in your hands, torn between exasperation and the urge to laugh. why, why, did you think she’d stay serious for more than five minutes?

it’s not like you planned to start fondling her tits. really, it’s not. 

but somehow, somewhere between her outrageous comments and your exasperated attempts to shut her up, your hands found their way there.

“emotional support,” you mutter, as if trying to convince yourself. your fingers press into her tits, and she smirks.

“oh, totally. very supportive,” she teases, biting her lip dramatically. “honestly, babe, i should start charging you for therapy.”

“therapy?” you scoff, giving her an annoyed squeeze — purely on principle, of course. “you’re the reason i need therapy.”

“aw, don’t be like that,” she says, giggling as she adjusts herself to make herself more accessible.

“i hate you,” you mutter, but the warmth bubbling in your chest betrays your words.

“no, you don’t.”

“okay, fine. i don’t.”

she grins like she just won a medal. “thought so.”

somehow, between the bickering and teasing, the two of you dissolve into giggles, your forehead pressing against hers as you share that rare, quiet moment of understanding.

“you know,” you say softly, still laughing a little, “i actually really like you.”

her breath catches for a second before she beams at you, her usual cockiness replaced by something softer. “yeah?”

“yeah,” you admit, cheeks flushing. “like, a lot. but don’t let it go to your head.”

“too late,” she teases, leaning in to nuzzle her nose against yours. “you’re not so bad yourself, baby.”

and there you are, tangled up in each other, giggling like a pair of teens in love for the first time, your hands still very much not moving from their supportive position. ah, girlhood.

⋆˙⟡ —

"oh my god," she giggles against your lips, breaking the kiss for a breath as her nose brushes yours. "you’re, like, so soft. i mean, i knew you were, but wow."

"shut up," you mutter, but the heat rising to your cheeks betrays you.

"no, seriously," she presses, her voice lilting like a girl talking about her latest crush. "you’re, like, perfect. your skin, your lips — ugh. i could eat you up."

you roll your eyes, but the way her hands slide to your waist and pull you closer has your breath hitching. "is this how you get people to fall for you? flattery and... and..."

"and this?" she finishes for you, leaning in to nip your bottom lip before slipping her tongue into your mouth.

the kiss is messy, all tongue and heat, but there’s something dizzyingly intoxicating about it. her chest presses against yours, her muscles firm under your palms in a way that’s so different from satoru but just as addicting. your hands wander — her shoulders, her back, down to her waist — feeling every curve and sharp line of her body.

"you’re drooling," she teases, her lips pulling into a smirk as she pulls back just enough to speak, her breath fanning over your kiss-swollen mouth.

"shut up," you mumble again, though your voice is weaker this time, your fingers tangling in her wolfcut as you pull her back in.

she chuckles into the kiss, her hands sliding lower, tracing circles on your hips. "this is so high school," she whispers against your lips, making you laugh despite the fire pooling low in your stomach.

"oh, totally," you quip back, your voice breathy as she kisses down your jaw, her tongue flicking out to taste the salt of your skin.

her lips pause at the curve of your neck, her teeth scraping ever so slightly. "you’re, like, my first kiss," she says in a mock-innocent tone, though the way her hands slide up your sides betrays her act.

"you’re such an idiot," you laugh, tangling your fingers tighter in her hair.

but any retort you might have had is swallowed by her mouth on yours again, hungrier this time, her arms wrapping around you in a way that makes you feel like you might melt right into her.

it really did feel like something ripped out of a hormone-fueled teenage fantasy — the kind where you’d lie awake in bed, giggling to yourself and imagining what it'd feel like to be on someone's lap, their hands wandering with just enough teasing to make you squirm. 

only this time, it wasn't a daydream, and fem gojo’s giggles were very real.

her fingers skimmed your sides, occasionally dipping just low enough to make your breath hitch, her wolfcut brushing against your cheek as she buried her face in your neck. "you’re so cute when you try to act all tough, you know that?" she teased, nipping at the skin just below your jaw.

"oh, please," you shot back, though the way your hips shifted ever so slightly against hers told a different story. "i’m not trying anything."

"oh, no?" she asked, her tone dripping with faux innocence, her hands slipping under the hem of your shirt to rest against your bare skin.

"not at all," you countered, and then — because two can play at this game — you rolled your hips against her, slow and deliberate.

her breath caught, her giggles cutting off mid-sound. she pulled back to look at you, bright blue eyes wide with surprise, though her grin quickly returned, sharper than before. "oh, you’re bad."

"just a girl in a world," you murmured with a shrug, though the heat rushing to your cheeks betrayed your attempt at nonchalance.

"oh, this is happening," she declared, her hands gripping your thighs as she shifted beneath you, her strength evident in the way she lifted you just enough to press you down harder against her lap. "but don’t think for a second you’re getting away with this —"

the sound of the door slamming open cut her off, and both of you froze like guilty teenagers caught in the act.

there stood gojo satoru — your satoru — his hair sticking up in all directions like he’d just rolled down a hill, his glasses askew on his nose, and his uniform rumpled in a way that screamed, rough day.

his gaze darted between the two of you — your disheveled state on fem gojo’s lap, her hands very clearly under your shirt — and his mouth dropped open in disbelief. 

"what the hell is going on here?"

"uh, hey, babe," you started, voice weak as you tried to slide off fem gojo’s lap, only for her to tighten her grip on you with a smug grin.

"oh, don’t mind us," she drawled, looking far too pleased with herself as she leaned back, her hands finally moving to rest innocently on your waist. "just bonding."

"bonding my ass!" he snapped, stomping further into the room. "do you have any idea what kind of day i’ve had? and this — this is what i walk in on?"

"jealous much?" fem gojo shot back, her grin widening as she arched an eyebrow at him.

"jealous? jealous? i —" he sputtered, gesturing wildly. "you — my girlfriend — you — get off her!"

"aw, but we’re just getting started," fem gojo cooed, her fingers ghosting over your waist in a way that made your breath hitch.

"i’m gonna lose my mind," he muttered, dragging a hand down his face as he slumped against the doorframe.

for all her teasing and smug little quips, fem gojo made room on the couch as your boyfriend flopped down with all the grace of a tired golden retriever. he groaned dramatically, draping an arm over his face. 

"thanksgiving, of all days! and nanamin — don’t even get me started. one more complaint about efficiency, and i swear he’s gonna implode. poof. bye-bye nanamin."

you and fem gojo exchanged a glance over his head, her lips twitching with the effort to suppress a laugh. you, however, mustered up the best sympathetic nod you could manage. 

"sounds rough, babe," you offered, patting his knee.

"rough?" he huffed, shifting just enough to peer at you with his usual dramatic flair. "you don’t even know. i had to chase some cursed spirit halfway across town while nanami grumbled about how it was cutting into his cooking time. his cooking time! do i look like i care about how tender his turkey is supposed to be?"

"he’s got a point, though," fem gojo interjected, the grin she’d been holding back finally breaking free. "dry turkey’s a tragedy."

your boyfriend shot her a glare, though it lacked any real heat. "don’t take his side. you’re supposed to be me, remember? support your counterpart."

"nah, i’m gonna side with the one who knows how to cook," she retorted, nudging you with her elbow.

you snorted, biting back a laugh as you tried to keep your hands to yourself. which was harder than it should’ve been, considering fem gojo’s arm was slung casually around your shoulders, her fingers occasionally brushing against your skin in a way that made your stomach flutter.

gojo groaned again, throwing his head back against the couch. "you two are impossible."

"you don’t mind," you teased, your hand brushing his as you squeezed it gently.

"yeah, yeah," he muttered, though the faint smile tugging at his lips gave him away. "just keep your hands off each other while i’m here, alright? i’m not emotionally stable enough for this today."

"no promises," fem gojo quipped, earning herself another glare.

gojo turned to his counterpart with an air of uncharacteristic seriousness, the weight of his gaze enough to make even fem gojo pause mid-tease. "you know," he began, his tone grave, "this thanksgiving, I’d like to give thanks to you."

fem gojo arched a snowy brow, clearly skeptical. "me? are you sure? 'cause last time you gave me ‘thanks,’ it involved that dumb fight over who gets the last mochi."

"no, no, this is different," he said, his voice steady, as though he were about to deliver the most heartfelt speech of his life. "i’m thankful for your understanding... your cooperation… and most importantly —"

he suddenly straightened, his glasses slipping just slightly down the bridge of his nose. you didn’t like where this was going.

" — for letting me borrow her."

before you could even process what was happening, his arms shot out, and you were unceremoniously thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"toru, what the fu —"

"don’t worry! she’ll be back later!" he called over his shoulder, already bolting toward the bedroom at top speed.

"you’re welcome!" fem gojo shouted sarcastically from the couch, though her expression quickly soured as the door slammed shut behind you two.

inside, your boyfriend wasted no time, setting you against the door with a triumphant grin. 

"finally. do you know how hard it was to sit there, listening to you two flirt, without doing anything? i swear, that was torture."

"toru, you’re being —"

your sentence was cut short by the sound of fem gojo banging on the door like an unruly child. "hey! this isn’t fair! sharing is caring, you selfish bastard!"

"shut up!" gojo yelled back, clearly unfazed, as he leaned down to cage you beneath him.

the pounding on the door only grew louder. "i let you borrow her, satoru! don’t make me come in there!"

"go ahead and try!" he shouted, his focus zeroing back on you as a mischievous glint danced in his eyes. "she’s mine right now."

"both of you are insane," you muttered, burying your face in your hands as gojo chuckled, pressing a teasing kiss to your neck.

outside, the banging continued, punctuated by fem gojo’s increasingly dramatic threats. "i’m serious! open this door, or god so help me —"

"she’s not getting in," your boyfriend reassured you with a wink, leaning in so close that his breath brushed against your lips. "it’s just you and me, babe."

"for now," you muttered, shooting a wary glance at the door.

somehow, you knew this wasn’t over.

⋆˙⟡ —

fem gojo had always been an advocate for patience — something you had painstakingly taught her. waiting in line for mochi, waiting for a green light to cross the road, waiting for you to finish your work before annoying the hell out of you — it was all part of the lesson. 

but when it came to you? patience flew straight out the window.

"are you serious right now?!" her voice carried through the door, muffled by the thick wood but loud enough to be heard.

inside the room, your boyfriend’s lips curved into a wicked grin. “oh, she’s getting cranky,” he muttered, his breath ghosting over your ear. “let’s give her something to really whine about.”

you barely had time to protest — if you even wanted to — before gojo spun you around, pressing you firmly against the door. your cheek met the cool wood, and his hands were already tugging at your clothes with impatience, the sound of fabric shifting making your pulse spike.

“toru, she’s right there,” you hissed, but your words were quickly muffled by his lips trailing hot kisses down the back of your neck.

“yeah, that’s the point, babe,” he murmured, his voice dripping with mischief. his hands slid over your hips, steadying you as his own body pressed against yours. “don’t you wanna make her jealous?”

on the other side, fem gojo’s foot thumped against the floor in a tantrum-like rhythm. “i can hear you, y’know! i’m not deaf!”

“good,” your boyfriend shot back, raising his voice just enough to be heard. “i hope you’re enjoying the show.”

you whimpered as his fingers slid under the waistband of your pants, and he chuckled darkly, leaning in so his lips brushed against your ear. “you hear that, baby? she’s losing it out there.”

“you’re insane,” you managed, though your words came out breathier than intended, and gojo’s answering laugh sent shivers down your spine.

outside, fem gojo groaned in frustration, pacing. “i swear to god, satoru, open this door or i’m breaking it down!”

“and interrupt us? that’d be rude,” your boyfriend called back, his hands now sliding over your bare skin, making your knees weak. “just wait your turn.”

“wait my turn?!” fem gojo’s indignant screech was almost drowned out by your involuntary moan as gojo’s lips found that sweet spot on your neck.

“oh, baby,” he cooed against your skin, clearly enjoying your reaction. “don’t hold back. let her hear how good I make you feel.”

his words had you flushing from head to toe, but it was hard to argue when his hands and mouth were working in tandem to pull every noise out of you.

outside, fem gojo let out a dramatic groan. “you two are the worst! i hope you know that!”

inside, your boyfriend just laughed, the sound low and utterly smug as he adjusted your position, making sure every sound you made carried through the door.

“guess we’re putting your vocal cords to the test today,” he teased, his tone promising no mercy.

and from the way his hands and lips continued their relentless assault, you had no doubt he meant it.

⋆˙⟡ —

fem gojo slumped against the wall outside the door, arms crossed over her chest as she scowled in the general direction of the muffled chaos.

“i cannot believe i’m this annoying,” she muttered to herself, rolling her eyes at yet another high-pitched whimper from you, followed by a muffled chuckle from your boyfriend. “uggghhhh. this is unbearable.”

she wanted to stay annoyed, wanted to stomp off in indignation, but every time a particularly filthy noise escaped the room, her ears perked up, curiosity overriding her frustration.

“seriously? are you sobbing?” she whispered under her breath, her own cheeks heating up. “what the hell is he doing in there, and why isn’t it my turn?”

she leaned her head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling, trying to tune it out — but with you crying out so desperately, each sound more intoxicating than the last, it was impossible to ignore the heat pooling in her stomach.

“i hate this,” she grumbled, though the way her hand started to slip under the waistband of her panties said otherwise. “i really hate this.”

inside the room, gojo was grinning like a cat that caught the canary, his fingers working expertly as he leaned down to murmur in your ear. “you’re so loud, babe. think she’s out there listening? i bet she is. you’re driving her crazy.”

“s-satoru,” you choked out, your voice a broken whimper, tears streaking your flushed cheeks as he doubled down, drawing yet another broken sob from you.

outside, fem gojo’s jaw dropped as she heard you cry out again. she dragged a hand down her face, groaning in frustration. “this is torture. actual torture. and I’m supposed to be the sadist.”

her free hand, however, betrayed her as it dipped further, her breath hitching as she let herself get swept up in the symphony of sounds coming from the other side of the door.

“damn it,” she hissed, squeezing her eyes shut. “i really am a perv.”

inside, gojo glanced at the door with a smirk, clearly knowing exactly what was happening on the other side. he leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth, his fingers not slowing for a second.

“you think she’s out there losing her mind?” he teased, nipping at your jaw. “bet she can’t help herself right now. you’re just that irresistible, baby.”

“satoru, please,” you sobbed, your voice cracked and wrecked as your body trembled against his.

outside, fem gojo let out an exasperated groan, her head thunking against the wall. “patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue,” she chanted under her breath, even as her own breathing grew uneven.

but as yet another filthy moan escaped you, her resolve shattered. 

“fuck it,” she muttered, her hands moving decisively.

because hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do — even if it means being the world’s most shameless audio voyeur.

fem gojo bit down hard on her lip, eyes screwed shut as she tried to keep herself from whining too loudly. her other hand worked feverishly to rub her clit, her breath hitching every time she heard you sob or moan.

she hated this. hated how much power the two of you had over her right now, and even more, hated how much she loved it.

but then, as if to make it worse, her twin’s voice cut through the door, playful and teasing as always. “oh, you’re liking this, aren’t you? so messy for me, baby.”

“damn it, satoru,” she hissed under her breath, her hips stuttering against her own hand. she had no idea if he knew she was out here actively losing her mind, but the way his voice dropped an octave, low and sultry, made her suspect he might.

“spread her legs more,” she barked suddenly, her voice muffled but sharp enough to carry through the door. “don’t just tease her, for fuck’s sake. she likes it when you —”

her own breath caught in her throat as she accidentally let out a tiny whimper. she slapped her hand over her mouth, her cheeks burning in humiliation.

inside, gojo paused for half a second, a smug grin spreading across his face. “ohhh, i hear you out there, loud and clear,” he called back, his voice sing-song.

“shut up and do it!” she snapped, mortified but far too invested to stop now.

he chuckled, clearly enjoying himself far too much, before leaning in to murmur against your neck, his tone dripping with amusement. “hear that, babe? she’s giving orders now. should i listen to her?”

“s-satoru,” you choked out, barely coherent, your head lolling back as he continued his merciless assault on your senses.

“yes, jerkface,” his female counterpart spat from outside the door, her voice cracking slightly. “you should. unless you want me to —”

her own sentence broke off into a breathless moan, and she smacked the back of her head against the wall, cursing herself.

inside, gojo laughed outright, clearly having the time of his life. “oh, you’re really losing it out there, huh?”

“don’t make me break down this damn door,” she growled, though her voice lacked any real bite, considering she was actively falling apart on the other side.

“you’d probably trip over your own pants if you tried,” gojo shot back, his grin audible in his voice.

“god, i hate you so much,” she muttered, though her fingers quickened as yet another of your sobs reached her ears, her body arching against the wall.

this was either going to be the quickest orgasm of her life, or the most torturous marathon she’d ever endured. either way, she wasn’t stopping until she finished — or until the door opened. 

preferably both.

⋆˙⟡ —

the loud crack of fem gojo’s boot against the door was enough to send your already frazzled nerves into overdrive. you barely had time to register the sound before the door flew open, a gust of air rushing in as she burst into the room, panting and disheveled, her cheeks flushed, and her shirt wrinkled beyond repair.

you yelped, curling closer to your boyfriend, who, to his credit, didn’t even flinch. instead, gojo just sighed, his face plastered with a mix of exasperation and amusement. “really, her breaking down the door? so predictable,” he drawled, his tone dripping with mock disappointment.

“you think i was gonna wait any longer, asshole?” fem gojo snapped, brushing her wolfcut out of her eyes as she glared at him. her voice still carried a hint of breathlessness, and she was clearly still coming down from her own orgasm.

you, on the other hand, were very much still recovering from whatever absolute hell (or heaven, let’s be real) you’d just been through. your voice cracked as you managed to wheeze, “couldn’t you have just waited like two seconds?”

“waited?” fem gojo scoffed, stepping over the splintered remains of the door like a feral, wild-eyed animal. “do you know how hard it is to hear that through a door and not go absolutely insane?!”

“sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” gojo quipped, pulling you closer to him as if to shield you from his rampaging twin.

“you’re insufferable,” she growled, stalking over to the bed. “both of you.”

“yeah, yeah,” he waved her off lazily, but his smirk didn’t falter for even a second. “you’re welcome to join us, but if you break the bed next, i’m billing you for it.”

her lips twitched as if she were about to fire back with another snarky remark, but instead, her gaze landed on you, still trembling and flushed from everything that had just transpired. her expression softened, only slightly, but it was enough to make your heart stutter in your chest.

“you okay?” she asked, her voice uncharacteristically gentle.

you opened your mouth to respond, but gojo cut in with a grin, “oh, she’s more than okay. aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“satoru,” you groaned, burying your face in your hands as both of them laughed, their identical voices melding together in a way that only made you want to sink further into the mattress.

“okay, fun’s over,” fem gojo declared, climbing onto the bed with a glint in her eye that made your stomach flip. “now move over, you big oaf. i’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.”

gojo sighed dramatically but shifted just enough to let her slide in next to you, her warmth immediately engulfing you as she wrapped an arm around your waist.

“great,” you muttered, your voice muffled against the pillows as both of them sandwiched you between them. “now i’ve got two of you to deal with.”

“lucky you,” fem gojo teased, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck as gojo’s fingers trailed lazily up your thigh.

“girlhood’s a bitch,” you mumbled, already bracing yourself for whatever chaos was about to unfold next.

⋆˙⟡ —

fem gojo’s face was the epitome of smug satisfaction as she toyed with gojo’s trademark eye mask, her fingers deftly looping it into an impromptu restraint around his wrists. "look who’s sitting out now,” she quipped, her grin wide enough to rival the crescent moon outside the busted door.

gojo tugged at the fabric half-heartedly, an incredulous laugh bubbling out of him. "seriously? me? tied up like this? you’re just mad you missed out.”

“oh, you think this is about missing out?” fem gojo snapped, crawling toward you with a predator's grace. “this is about justice, dumbass. justice.”

“you don’t even know the meaning of the word,” he fired back, rolling his eyes — well, he tried to. hard to make the expression work with a blindfold tied around your hands.

you, meanwhile, were caught in the crossfire of their ridiculousness, though a not-so-small part of you was trembling with anticipation. the way fem gojo’s fingers were grazing your waist, her nails scraping lightly against your skin, was enough to send a fresh wave of heat pooling in your gut.

"don’t worry, sweetheart,” she cooed, her tone deceptively soft as she leaned in to nuzzle your neck. “this isn’t about you. it’s about making him suffer. you, on the other hand? you’re about to have the time of your life.”

“what else is new?” gojo drawled, shifting against the headboard with an exaggerated pout. “i’m always the one who suffers.”

“boohoo, cry about it,” fem gojo shot back before pressing her lips to yours, her kiss firm and possessive.

you melted into her touch, your body already aching with anticipation as her hands roamed freely, her confidence unmatched. the muffled sound of gojo grumbling something under his breath only added fuel to her fire.

“don’t worry, lover boy,” she said sweetly, turning to flash him a devilish grin. “i’ll make sure you hear every little sound she makes. you deserve it for locking me out.”

gojo, for all his bravado and his self-proclaimed title of the strongest, looked utterly pitiful tied up against the headboard. his pants were visibly strained, the fabric damp in spots from the sheer torment of being forced to sit out while you and fem gojo put on a show that would put the raunchiest romance novels to shame.

“oh, what’s the matter, satoru?” fem gojo teased, pausing her relentless worship of your body to glance over her shoulder at him, her lips glistening in a way that made you shiver. “you’re awfully quiet for someone who loves to run their mouth.”

gojo groaned, his head falling back dramatically as his fingers twitched against the silk of his own blindfold. “this is cruel and unusual punishment,” he whined. “i’m a man! i have needs!”

“needs?” you managed to choke out between gasps, your voice breathy and dripping with faux innocence as fem gojo’s tongue worked you into a frenzy. “like what? watching? or maybe just being a good boy and waiting your turn?”

“god, you’re both evil,” he muttered, his hips bucking helplessly against nothing.

“evil?” fem gojo repeated with a laugh, her fingers tightening on your thighs as she angled herself for better access. “sweetheart, you don’t even know what evil is. yet.”

her words sent a fresh wave of heat flooding through you, and you couldn’t resist the urge to lean into her touch, your nails digging into her toned shoulders. you moaned louder this time, purposefully exaggerated, knowing damn well what it would do to your poor, restrained boyfriend.

“oh, fuccckk,” he hissed, his head snapping up as he strained against his makeshift bonds. “you’re doing this on purpose!”

“obviously,” you and fem gojo said in unison, the synchronization only making him groan louder.

“she’s so smart, isn’t she?” fem gojo murmured, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your hip before sliding her tongue up your thigh. “my smart, pretty little thing.”

“mine,” gojo snapped, his voice dipping lower in frustration. “don’t forget that.”

“sounds like someone’s jealous,” you teased, casting him a mischievous smile that only made him squirm harder.

“jealous doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he muttered, his tone dark with frustration and arousal. “just wait. when it’s my turn, she won’t be able to walk for days.”

“promises, promises,” fem gojo said, rolling her eyes as she slid her fingers between your thighs. “but for now? she’s mine.”

“fuck,” gojo muttered again, his voice cracking slightly as he shifted again, clearly trying — and failing — to find any kind of relief. “you’re both killing me here.”

“good,” fem gojo quipped, her grin wicked as she leaned back in. “die mad about it.”

gojo looked like a man on the edge of ruin, his composure unraveling faster than his best-laid plans ever did. his head snapped between the two of you, his wide, pleading eyes following every obscene motion fem gojo made.

“okay, okay, listen,” he started, his voice pitching slightly as fem gojo tilted her head and spat on your pussy again, the slick sound almost louder than your breathy whimpers. “we can come to some kind of agreement, right? like, uh... a time share or something?”

fem gojo didn’t even bother looking up, too busy lapping at you like her life depended on it. your head lolled back, fingers trembling as they threaded through her wolfcut, tugging sharply enough to make her groan against you.

“are you seriously ignoring me?” gojo’s voice cracked, his hands jerking futilely against the silk blindfold binding his wrists. “i’m right here! i’m dying! dying, do you hear me?”

“not my problem, satoru,” fem gojo said against your skin, her words muffled but dripping with amusement. she licked a long stripe up your thigh before glancing at him with a smug smile. “besides, isn’t this your favorite thing? watching?”

“not when i’m left out like some damn extra,” he snapped, his tone bordering on petulant.

“sounds like a you problem,” she teased, her hands sliding up your trembling thighs to grip your hips. “why don’t you just sit there and, oh, i don’t know... reflect on your life choices?”

“reflect?” gojo repeated incredulously, his voice pitching higher as he watched her spit on you again, your body jolting at the sensation. “are you kidding me right now?”

“do i look like i’m kidding?” she quipped, her grin wicked as she dipped her head again, pulling a broken sob from your lips.

gojo groaned, his head thudding against the headboard in frustration. “babe,” he tried, his voice softening as he addressed you. “sweetheart, angel, just tell her to untie me. please.”

you barely registered his words, too far gone, babbling incoherent nonsense as your body writhed under fem gojo’s relentless attention.

“awwww,” fem gojo cooed, her tone mockingly sweet as she nipped at your thigh. “looks like she’s a little busy right now, satoru. maybe later.”

“later?” gojo practically shrieked, his hips jerking against nothing as he tugged uselessly at his bindings. “you’re killing me! you’re both killing me!”

“good,” fem gojo said with a smirk, her tongue sliding back to your pussy as your trembling hands tugged harder at her hair. “cope.”

⋆˙⟡ —

the juxtaposition of it all was almost too much to handle. 

you, still trembling and barely coherent after your orgasm, were being pulled into a firm handshake by fem gojo, her wolfish grin only slightly dampened by the disheveled state of her hair.

“good teamwork out there, champ,” she said, nodding at you like you’d just scored the winning goal in a soccer match, not just survived her borderline predatory focus.

meanwhile, satoru — sweet, dramatic, absolutely unhinged satoru — was in the corner, wringing his bound hands as best as he could against his knees and glaring daggers. his lower lip trembled with indignation, and his wild, slightly tear-glazed eyes were a comedic blend of frustration and despair.

“you absolute villain!” he screeched, his voice cracking as he gestured with his shoulders toward his ruined pants. “my tailored, imported, custom-made trousers! do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”

“relax,” fem gojo drawled, finally leaning back against the pillows like a cat after a long nap. “your cum is just another layer of fabric softener at this point.”

“fabric softener?” gojo gasped like he’d been personally slapped by fate itself. “you — you wrench! you witch! unhand me this instant, you fiend, and face me like a man — or woman — or, or whatever!”

fem gojo raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching with amusement as she slowly extended her arm toward him, flipping him off with deliberate precision.

“is this facing you like a woman, sweetheart?” she teased, snickering when his expression morphed into one of utter offense.

for all his flamboyant theatrics, gojo was undeniably unraveling at the seams. the man who stood undefeated as the strongest sorcerer now looked like a petulant child being denied dessert at dinner, his icy blue eyes darting between you and fem gojo with desperation simmering just beneath the surface.

"i'm right here," he whined, voice cracking on the last syllable. "hello? strongest sorcerer in the room? shouldn’t i get a little more respect — or attention, maybe?”

"did you hear something?" fem gojo mused, her voice dripping with mock curiosity as she tilted her head.

"nothing important," you replied, trying to hide your grin as you leaned into her shoulder.

gojo groaned, tugging fruitlessly against his bindings as he pouted at the two of you. "seriously? you're both evil! i’m literally about to combust over here, and you’re talking like i don’t even exist!”

his dramatic plea was met with a snicker from fem gojo, who lazily turned her gaze toward him. "oh, poor baby. are you finally learning what it's like to feel left out?"

“left out?” he nearly shrieked. “i’m suffering! do you know how long it’s been since i —”

"shut up already," fem gojo cut him off, her smirk sharp as she slid off the bed and crouched in front of him. gojo froze, his breath hitching as she reached for his waistband.

“wait — what are you —”

with a quick tug, fem gojo yanked his pants down, utterly ignoring his indignant sputtering about the sanctity of custom-made trousers.

"oh, quit whining," she drawled, digging into a nearby drawer with a mischievous glint in her eye. "you should be thanking your girlfriend for being so considerate."

“considerate?” he echoed, his confusion melting into mortification as she pulled out an onahole.

his face turned a vivid shade of red, his earlier bravado crumbling like a house of cards. “wait, wait, wait — i’m not thanking anyone for this —”

"you will," she quipped, already lubing up the toy with a casualness that made his head spin.

"oh my god," he muttered, his hands twitching in their bindings as his gaze darted to you. "baby, you're gonna let her do this to me?”

you tilted your head, feigning innocence. “what’s wrong, ‘toru? i thought you said you were suffering.”

before he could protest further, fem gojo slid the toy down his dick, her free hand pressing against his thigh to keep him steady. his breath hitched, a sharp gasp escaping his lips as his head tipped back against the wall.

"oh, he’s already squirming," she teased, her tone laced with mockery. "guess he wasn’t lying about being pent up."

“shut — shut up,” he stammered, his voice wavering as she began to move the toy with deliberate precision, her grip firm but unhurried.

you couldn’t help but giggle as gojo let out a strangled moan, his earlier indignation dissolving into a series of helpless whimpers.

“poor thing,” you cooed, reaching out to brush his bangs from his forehead. “guess even the strongest needs a little help sometimes.”

gojo’s cheeks flushed even darker, his gaze flickering between you and fem gojo as if he couldn’t decide whether to curse you both or beg for mercy.

"just... don't stop," he finally muttered, his voice cracking as his hips bucked against the toy.

"wasn't planning on it," fem gojo replied, her grin wicked as she picked up the pace.

for all his protests, gojo was utterly at their mercy

and, judging by the look in fem gojo's eyes, she was nowhere near done making him squirm.

⋆˙⟡ —

it really was something, wasn’t it? girlhood in all its beautiful glory. here you were, lounging back as fem gojo sat cross-legged beside you, casually fiddling with her nails and adjusting her wolfcut while gojo — your boyfriend, the strongest sorcerer alive — was reduced to a moaning mess on the floor.

“honestly, i don’t even know how you deal with him on a daily basis,” fem gojo mused, inspecting a chipped nail like she wasn’t the one who had just turned his world upside down.

“patience,” you replied with a smirk, gripping the onahole a little tighter as gojo let out a strangled groan.

“i’m right herree,” he whined, though his voice cracked halfway through, his chest heaving as you twisted the toy just so.

“we know,” you shot back, not sparing him a glance as your pace quickened. “you’re loud enough to remind us.”

“so ungrateful,” fem gojo teased, leaning back on her hands and watching him through half-lidded eyes. “you’d think he’d be a little more appreciative, considering what he’s getting right now.”

gojo’s head lolled back, his cheeks flushed a deep red as his hips bucked uselessly against the toy. “i am appreciative,” he panted, his voice barely above a whimper. “just — please —”

“please, what?” you interrupted, your tone sharp enough to make him flinch. “is that how you ask nicely, ‘toru?”

his lips parted, but no coherent words came out, just a series of broken, needy sounds that filled the room alongside the obscene squelch of the onahole.

“that’s what i thought,” you said, your voice dripping with mock pity. “maybe if you behaved better, you’d get to feel something real.”

fem gojo snickered, ruffling her wolfcut as she leaned closer to you. “god, you’re good at this. he’s lucky he has you, y’know.”

“oh, i know,” you replied with a grin, sparing her a quick glance before focusing back on your boyfriend.

gojo whimpered, his head jerking forward as his eyes locked onto yours. “baby, please, i’ll — i’ll be good, i promise, just —”

“you’ll be good?” you repeated, arching a brow. “after you’ve been nothing but a brat this whole time?”

his chest heaved as he struggled to form a response, his nipples perked and glistening with sweat as his entire body trembled beneath your control.

“god, look at him,” fem gojo drawled, nudging your shoulder. “you’ve got him wrapped around your little finger. it’s almost pathetic.”

“almost?” you quipped, smirking as gojo let out another desperate moan.

“okay, fine, entirely pathetic,” she conceded with a laugh.

gojo whimpered again, his head dropping forward as his hips bucked one last time. “please,” he whispered, his voice breaking as he teetered on the edge.

you sighed, pretending to mull it over as you slowed the pace of the toy. “hmm, i don’t know… do you think he’s earned it yet?”

fem gojo hummed thoughtfully, tapping her chin like she was considering a complex problem. “eh, let him finish. i wanna see how much of a mess he makes.”

and oh, did he ever.

the moment gojo came, it was like the entire world tilted on its axis. his body jerked violently, muscles spasming uncontrollably as the aftermath of his orgasm hit him like a freight train. his head lolled back against the headboard, silver hair clinging to his sweat-slicked forehead, and his chest heaved with each ragged breath he took.

the onahole in your hand was overflowing, thick and sticky, with a puddle forming beneath it on the sheets. you tried to suppress the shiver that ran down your spine as you stared at the mess he’d made, but it was impossible not to be affected.

“damn,” fem gojo drawled from the side, her lips curling into a smirk as she leaned closer to take a better look. “didn’t know he had that much in him. maybe i should’ve gone easier on him earlier.”

you shot her a glare, though it lacked any real bite. “yeah, thanks for that,” you muttered, your own arousal now at an unbearable high as you let the ruined toy fall to the side.

gojo’s glazed-over eyes finally fluttered open, his cerulean irises locking onto yours with an intensity that made your knees weak. despite how wrecked he looked, a lazy grin spread across his flushed face.

“baby,” he rasped, his voice rough yet laced with warmth. “you’re so good to me.”

the tenderness in his words sent a jolt straight to your core, and before you could second-guess yourself, you were undoing the bindings around his wrists. the moment his hands were free, they shot up to grab your hips, pulling you down onto his lap with surprising strength given his current state.

“my turn,” you whispered, your voice low and needy as you positioned yourself over him.

“oh, yes,” he breathed, his large hands settling firmly on your waist. “wanna make you feel so good, baby.”

the first slide of him inside you was enough to make your eyes roll back, a broken moan tearing from your throat as he filled you to the brim. his earlier orgasm only made the stretch slicker, hotter, and all the more sinful.

“fuck, you’re perfect,” he groaned, his hands gripping you tighter as he helped you set a rhythm. “so tight, so beautiful — god, i love you so much.”

the sweetness of his words was a stark contrast to the filthy, desperate way he moved you on top of him. every roll of your hips had him groaning, his praise interspersed with dirty whispers that made heat pool in your belly.

“look at you,” he murmured, his voice thick with awe as his gaze roamed over your flushed face and heaving chest. “taking me so well. my good girl — so fucking perfect for me.”

your head fell forward, your lips brushing against his ear as you whimpered, “harder.”

he didn’t need to be told twice. his grip on your hips became bruising, and his thrusts grew more forceful, each one sending shockwaves through your body that made your toes curl.

“that’s it,” he growled, his teeth grazing your jawline. “take it, baby. take everything i give you.”

“jesus christ,” fem gojo muttered from the sidelines, though her tone was tinged with amusement. “you two are something else.”

but you couldn’t care less about her commentary. not when gojo was looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world, not when every filthy praise and touch from him had your body hurtling toward its breaking point.

as you and gojo clung to each other like your lives depended on it, fem gojo sat off to the side, arms crossed and lips pursed in a pout so exaggerated it could’ve been in a cartoon. the wet sounds of your bodies moving together echoed through the room, punctuated by your moans and gojo’s filthy praises. it was enough to make anyone blush — well, anyone but her.

“wow,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she watched you with a raised brow. “so glad i could be here for this. really feeling the thanksgiving spirit, you know?”

neither of you acknowledged her, too lost in your own world to pay her any mind. gojo’s hands were on your hips, guiding you up and down his dick with a fervor that had your legs trembling, and you were clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded.

“seriously?” fem gojo scoffed, standing up and walking over to the dresser. “i’m the one who started this whole thing, and now i’m getting sidelined? unreal.”

when she turned back around, you barely noticed the telltale gleam of the strap-on in her hands until she was right behind you.

“guess i’ll have to remind you who’s really in charge here,” she said, her voice low and teasing as she adjusted the straps around her hips.

you barely had time to process her words before her hands were on you, pulling you back slightly so she could press her lips to your ear.

“don’t worry, sweetheart,” she cooed, her tone both saccharine and sinful. “i’ll make sure you’re thoroughly thankful by the end of this.”

gojo groaned, his grip on your hips tightening as he glanced over your shoulder at his female counterpart. “seriously? now?”

“what?” she shot back, smirking as she lubed up the strap. “can’t handle a little competition, big guy?”

“it’s not competition when i’m winning,” he retorted, though the faint flush on his cheeks betrayed his bravado.

“yeah, yeah,” she said dismissively, positioning the strap against your entrance. “just try not to cry too hard when she screams my name, okay?”

your breath hitched as you felt the cool silicone press against you, and gojo’s eyes darkened as he watched your reaction.

“you okay, baby?” he asked softly, his hands caressing your sides.

you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper as you said, “yeah. just...go slow.”

“oh, i’ll go slow,” fem gojo murmured, a wicked grin spreading across her face as she began to push the strap inside. “at first.”

the stretch was intense, but the sensation of being filled in both places was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. your body trembled as you tried to adjust, and gojo was quick to kiss away the tears that formed in the corners of your eyes.

“that’s my girl,” he murmured, his voice filled with pride and adoration. “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“she really is,” fem gojo added, her hands gripping your waist as she began to move. “and she’s gonna look even better when i make her scream.”

the two of them worked together seamlessly, their movements perfectly coordinated as they took you apart piece by piece. every thrust, every touch, every whispered word of praise sent you spiraling further into bliss, and you quickly lost track of where one ended and the other began.

gojo’s lips were everywhere — your neck, your shoulders, your chest — while fem gojo’s hands explored every inch of your body, her touch both firm and gentle in all the right ways.

“look at her,” fem gojo said, her voice thick with arousal as she watched you writhe between them. “so beautiful, so fucking needy. you love this, don’t you, sweetheart?”

you could only nod, your voice breaking as you tried to form a coherent response.

“she loves it,” gojo confirmed, his own voice strained as he watched you come undone. “she fucking loves it.”

it was a sensory overload, plain and simple. between gojo’s hands gripping your hips like a lifeline and fem gojo’s unrelenting pace behind you, you were sure your body was going to give out. 

but of course, these two were more focused on their ongoing battle of who could out-praise, out-dirty talk, or out-insult the other than on your well-being — not that you were complaining.

“god, she’s so tight,” fem gojo groaned, her fingers digging into your waist as she snapped her hips forward. “guess she likes me more than you, huh?”

gojo scoffed, his voice dripping with mockery. “oh, please. you’re just riding my coattails, loser. she’s dripping all over me.”

you wanted to protest, to tell them both to shut up and focus, but all that came out was a high-pitched moan as they found a rhythm that had your toes curling.

“ya hear that?” gojo teased, his grin smug as he looked over your shoulder. “she’s screaming for me. guess you’re not all that after all.”

fem gojo rolled her eyes, her pace quickening as she leaned forward to whisper in your ear. “don’t listen to him, baby. i’m the one making you see stars, aren’t i?”

you opened your mouth to answer, but all that came out was a broken sob of pleasure, and they both laughed — one soft and teasing, the other loud and boisterous.

“what’s the matter?” gojo asked, his tone faux-concerned as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “can’t handle it? too much for my pretty girl?”

“your pretty girl?” fem gojo shot back, her tone incredulous. “hate to break it to you, but she’s — fuck — she’s clenching around me like she doesn’t want me to stop. isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

you tried to nod, but the movement sent a shiver down your spine, and fem gojo chuckled.

“see?” she said smugly. “told you.”

gojo groaned, his head falling back against the headboard as he thrust up into you. “yeah, well, she’s making a mess all over my cock, so — shit — who’s really winning here?”

“winning?” fem gojo gasped, her rhythm stuttering for a moment as she tightened her grip on your hips. “you’re such a — goddamn, baby, you’re perfect — such a sore loser.”

“you’re just mad i’m the one she’s kissing,” gojo retorted, his hands pulling you impossibly closer. “bet you’d kill to have her lips on yours right now.”

“oh, like you wouldn’t,” fem gojo snapped, her voice breaking as you whimpered and clenched around them both. “you’re just lucky she’s too busy — fuck — to realize you don’t deserve her.”

“and you do?” gojo shot back, his thrusts growing sharper as he glared at his counterpart.

“goddamn it, both of you —” you tried to cut in, your voice hoarse from the onslaught of pleasure, but another wave hit you, and your words dissolved into a moan.

“see?” gojo said smugly, his grin widening as he leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth. “she can’t even talk. that’s my girl.”

“keep dreaming,” fem gojo muttered, her pace quickening as she leaned forward to press her lips to your neck, her teeth grazing your skin.

⋆˙⟡ —

thanksgiving, truly the season of giving, and boy, was gojo in a giving mood tonight. 

the man was shaking beneath you, his chest rising and falling like he’d just run a marathon. his hands, trembling but firm, clung to your thighs, his nails digging into your skin as he let out a downright pitiful whimper, his head tipping back with a dazed, glassy-eyed expression.

“that’s it,” he babbled, his voice slurred and broken as he bucked up weakly into you. “t-take it, sweetheart... take all of me — fuck, you’re gonna look so good, all round ‘n glowing —”

his breath caught in his throat, and with a drawn-out moan that bordered on wailing, he came in you, his hips jerking uncontrollably as you squealed at the sudden warmth. your own body clenched down on him, the sticky sensation of him filling you tipping you over the edge.

“oh my god,” you choked, your nails raking down his chest as your orgasm hit, leaving you trembling and gasping.

fem gojo, ever the opportunist, finally withdrew from behind you with a satisfied hum, the slick sheen on her strap glinting under the low light.

“awwwww, look at you two,” she teased, her tone dripping with mock sweetness as she unfastened the harness. “such a cute little mess. now, if you’ll excuse me…”

without missing a beat, she sank down onto the still-attached dildo, a low, satisfied groan escaping her lips as she rolled her hips. the obscene squelch of her movements made your already oversensitive body shudder, and you couldn’t help but turn your attention to her.

“c’mon, baby,” she teased, her grin wicked as she met your gaze. “don’t let me do all the work here. cheer me on, yeah?”

through the haze of pleasure and exhaustion, you managed a breathy laugh, your voice weak but teasing. “you’re doing amazing, sweetie.”

she threw her head back with a laugh of her own, her pace quickening as she dug her nails into her thighs. “damn right, i am.”

meanwhile, gojo looked like he was on the brink of passing out beneath you, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused as he muttered incoherent praises. whether it was the aftershock of his release or the dawning realization of what he’d just done — shooting his load into you with the enthusiasm of a man on a mission to give you a baby — you weren’t sure.

“you okay down there?” you asked, your voice soft and teasing as you brushed a damp strand of hair from his face.

“mmph,” he groaned, his arms weakly wrapping around your waist. “so good… so fucking good… gonna put a baby in you…”

fem gojo let out a loud, incredulous laugh, her movements stuttering for a moment as she caught her breath. “you really think one round’s enough for that, big guy?”

gojo groaned in protest, his grip tightening on you as he glared half-heartedly at her. “shut up… it only takes one…”

“sure, sure,” she said with a smirk, her hips picking up speed again as she threw you a wink. “guess we’ll just have to see, huh?”

and with that, thanksgiving turned into a whole new kind of holiday tradition. ah, the season of giving.

⋆˙⟡ —

patience might be a virtue, but fem gojo was clearly not in the mood for any virtuous behavior tonight. she had already tried being "respectful" by letting you and her male counterpart have your moment, but who was she kidding? the real deal — you — was right in front of her. 

and, well, when life gives you a stunning girlfriend covered in sweat and looking like sin itself, you don’t waste time fiddling with plastic.

“alright, babe,” fem gojo grinned, flipping her wolfcut back as she effortlessly scooped you off her passed-out counterpart. gojo was out cold, muttering something about “diapers” and “college funds,” his limbs splayed like a starfish on the bed. 

he wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon.

“don’t worry about him,” she said, tossing a glance at his unconscious form as she positioned you on top of her. “this is girl talk now. and mama’s gonna take real good care of you.”

your cheeks burned, and you instinctively clung to her shoulders, your thighs trembling as they straddled her. “you sure about this?” you whispered, voice laced with anticipation and a hint of shyness.

fem gojo’s grin widened, her hands steady as they guided your hips against hers. “baby, the only thing i’m not sure about is how the hell you’ve gone this long without letting me show you how girls really do it.”

she didn’t wait for a response, rolling her hips up against yours in one fluid motion. the friction sent a spark shooting through your body, and you gasped, your nails digging into her toned shoulders.

“see?” she cooed, her voice dripping with smug satisfaction. “told ya. mama’s got you.”

her hands gripped your waist, firm but gentle, as she took the lead, her movements slow and deliberate, teasing every whimper and moan out of you. your legs shook, but she held you steady, her grin never faltering.

“look at you,” she teased, leaning in to nip at your jawline. “already so sensitive. didn’t know my girl could get this worked up so quick. guess he’s not doing his job right, huh?”

“oh my god,” you groaned, burying your face in her neck to hide your embarrassment.

she chuckled, her hands slipping lower to grab a handful of your ass as she pushed you down harder against her. “nah, babe. i’m your god tonight.”

meanwhile, gojo snored in the background, blissfully unaware that his girlfriend and clone were having the time of their lives just a few feet away. 

ah, girlhood. lesbians, 1. gojo, 0.

⋆˙⟡ —

“sedimentation,” fem gojo mumbled, her cheek squished against your sweat-slick shoulder, arms wrapped around you like a clingy octopus. her legs tangled with yours, and despite how sticky and gross you felt, she showed no signs of letting go. “it’s important. gotta let things settle.”

you groaned, attempting to wiggle free, but she tightened her grip, pressing a lazy kiss to your collarbone. “settle what, exactly? i’m not some science experiment.”

“nah, you’re better than that,” she muttered, voice heavy with exhaustion. “you’re my cute little petri dish.”

“that’s not better!” you whined, half-laughing despite yourself.

fem gojo grinned against your skin, clearly pleased with her terrible analogy. but when she shifted slightly, the embarrassing squelch between your legs was impossible to ignore. you buried your face in your hands, heat rushing to your cheeks as you groaned in mortification.

“don’t even start,” you grumbled, glaring at her as she snickered.

“babe, that sound?” she teased, tapping her temple like she just had a galaxy-brain moment. “it’s gonna live rent-free in my head for years.”

“i hate you.”

“no, you don’t.”

you sighed, glancing over at satoru, who was still snoring like a freight train, completely oblivious to the chaos you’d all caused tonight. he looked oddly peaceful, sprawled out like some kind of overgrown child, his hair sticking up in all directions.

“we should clean up,” you muttered, trying to untangle yourself from fem gojo’s hold.

“nooooo,” she whined, tightening her grip and pulling you back down against her chest. “cleaning’s for losers. let’s just sleep. thanksgiving’s over anyway.”

“and satoru?” you asked, nodding toward his drooling form.

she waved a dismissive hand. “damage control can wait. he’s fine. probably dreaming about the best baby stroller to buy.”

you snorted, letting yourself relax against her. maybe she had a point. thanksgiving was chaotic, messy, and embarrassing beyond belief, but at least it ended with some semblance of peace.

“fine,” you relented, closing your eyes as sleep finally started to pull you under. “but next year? we’re doing thanksgiving normal.”

“sure thing, babe,” she mumbled, already half-asleep herself. “whatever you say.”

you had a sneaking suspicion that next year’s thanksgiving was going to be anything but normal. but for now, sleep. thank god for sleep.

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[arc-misadventures]

I'm Too Expensive For You

Coco: Jaune?

Jaune: Yes?

Coco: How much do you think I cost?

Jaune: First off you're expensive, that's a given...

Coco: Naturally of course.

Jaune: But, what is the context about all of this? Because, if this is about what I think it is, I'm going to be very upset.

Coco: Do you seriously think I'd ask how much I would charge if I was a hooker?!

Coco: I was going to ask how much a I'd cost as a, Mistress.

Jaune: A: That's the same fucking thing. B: A lot.

Coco: so, how much would you pay to have sex with me?

Jaune: Do I seriously have to answer that...?

Coco: Because, Cardin tried to 'buy' me, so I'm curious how much I'm worth.

Jaune: Oh so that's why, Cardin was wedged into a tree...

Jaune: Haa... A pair of boots.

Coco: ...

Coco: You seriously think you could buy me... with a pair of boots...?

Jaune: If they were these boots I bet you would.

Coco: ...

Coco: Well that's not fair; I'm your wife you don't have to buy me for sex. Just ask, and I'm up for a tumble. Or, where something stylish, you know how that get my motor going.

Jaune: See it's expensive, because it's either a really attractive outfit, or...?!

Jaune: Wait... 'Your wife?' Coco, you're not my wife, because I gave you a pair of boots.

Coco: Why not?! Those boots can totally be used for a marriage proposal! So, give me the boots, Mr. Adel!

Jaune: Okay, Missy! You do not get the boots as a marriage proposal, that's what the engagement ring I got you is for! And, you are taking my last name, Mrs. Arc!

Coco: ...

Coco: Y-You got an engagement ring...?

Jaune: Yeah. Yeah I did.

Coco: So... y-you're going to ask me... t-to marry you...?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Yes.

Coco: If I say yes... does that mean I'll eventually get those boots...?

Jaune: I'll give you the boots if you take my last name...?

Coco: ...

Coco: Coco Adel Arc...? Hmmm... It does roll of the tongue~!

Jaune: So then, Mrs. Coco Adel Arc, do you want the boots, or the ring first. Because, you get the shoes first!

Coco: W-Why not the ring?!

Jaune: Because... Nora swiped it... And, she won't tell me where it... Coco...? Coco, why is, Gianduja in it's weapon form!?

Coco: That bitch stole my wedding ring! I'm gonna get my ring, and my man so help me Gods!!!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Fuck she is so hot...

[wcters]

𝗔𝗗𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!admin!reader

summary: the new social media admin may have a tiny crush on charles . . . and people are catching on, including the man himself

request: charles x social media admin!reader pleasee

warnings: swearing, established relationships | sorry it’s so short, i have had soooo many tests recently 😔😔😔 hopefully i’ll have more time to write 🤘

scuderiaferrari

liked by f1, user3, and 320,104 others

scuderiaferrari in and around the paddock 📸

view all 217 comments

user1 admin doing god’s work 🙏🙏

user2 LETHAL facecard

user3 missing some sainz here 🤨🤨

user4 awooga 😍

user5 where’s the pictures of carlos??

↳ user6 there’s been a lack of carlos lately

user7 besties 👯‍♀️

↳ scuderiaferrari besties who stay together, slay together 💅💅

scuderiaferrari

liked by user1, user2, and 198,393 others

scuderiaferrari snippets from admin’s camera roll 🤳

view all 112 comments

user1 lots of charles in the admins phone 🤨🤨

↳ user2 they’re so real for that

user3 where can i volunteer to be a social media admin

↳ scuderiaferrari don’t take my job 😔😔

user4 the first picture got me shivering

user5 the new admin doing all of us a favour 🙏🙏

user6 there’s been a lot of charles lately….

↳ user7 are you thinking there’s drama going on??

↳ user8 if you’re talking about drama as in the admin having a crush on charles? yes

yourusername

liked by yourfriend, charles_leclerc, and 1,309 others

yourusername all in a days work

view all 56 comments

yourfriend bitch tbat ain’t working that’s called rotting

↳ yourusername don’t call me out 😔

user1 last picture is too real ‼️

user2 are you the ferrari admin??

↳ yourusername 😦😦😦

charles_leclerc is that what you do when you aren’t working?

↳ yourusername don’t look, this wasn’t meant for you to see

user3 she really started to panic there

user4 cutie patootie 😚

f1gossip

liked by user1, user3, and 23,083 others

f1gossip charles leclerc and supposed ferrari social media admin seen out for lunch together in monaco. this is after some speculation about the woman having a crush on charles or them being together. what do you think is going on?

view all 98 comments

user1 she really is in a wattpad book

user2 i mean, if i ever got the opportunity to go on a date with charles i would go, who wouldn’t??

user3 she’s just like us, for real for real ✊✊

user4 anyone know her name?

↳ user5 i think it’s y/n, but that’s all i know

user6 they look cute together

scuderiaferrari

liked by user1, user5, and 283,0136 others

scuderiaferrari did someone say race day?

view all

user1 girl quit playing we know

user2 she’s living my dream 😫😫

user3 they’re in love in the first picture

user4 i just know the middle picture was y/n being in love and not for media but ended up in it anyway

user5 lord perceval and smooth operator 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️

user6 manifesting a 1-2 ferrari podium 🙏🙏

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourfriend, and 2,945 others

yourusername first race as an admin and a girlfriend 🤘

view all 63 comments

yourfriend I KNEW IT

yourfriend now time to set me up with lewis hamilton 😽😽😽

↳ yourusername 🫡🫡

user1 @yourfriend so real for that

user2 alright, where’s the mentally ill teenager with a pen writing this 🤨🤨🤨

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

user3 so cute !!!

user4 what in the wattpad

user5 i had a gut feeling this would happen

[remusinfurs]

Hazarding a guess: she didn’t actually read The Great Gatsby and just watched the expensive D+ book report of a movie; that also totally missed the point. It is NOT a love story. Daisy is not likable at all. She’s a spoiled social climber who chose a rich asshole over a war hero who was in love with her but had no money. And she doesn’t even go to his funeral. This is not a Lana Del Rey music video, this is a gold digging selfish bitch and the guy pathetic enough to sell his soul over her. It’s about materialism, greed, denial, and Lost Cause insanity. I think this novel is one of the most misread in the American canon.