#and I was like 'Ahh.... That feels a little too spooky eh'

[solradguy]

Through a series of events, the kind old woman across the street passed away recently and her son, who is taking care of her estate and is, in her own words, "a fuckup," is running from the police quite literally. I have finally learned the names of my neighbors that I've been waving at almost daily for the past 11 years because we were worried about Kind Old Woman's dog, who we were convinced we were going to have to Oceans 11 out of her home because no one was there to take care of him. We stood in her driveway discussing all this.

A lot of my neighbors are elderly (bad memory), and the one neighbor said he knew my name (word travels fast!) but always forgot it because it is admittedly a little unusual. So now, to make a long story short, at least two of my neighbors (one from today and one from the other week) just call me Red and I think that's funny.

Dog is ok, also. We called in a wellness check and then a bit later someone involved in Kind Old Woman's situation showed up

[plumblossomcafe]

Ch.21: Guizhong

Paimon: Huh, the reception is deserted. And it seems kinda spooky in here... Hello? Is anybody there?

???: Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy.

Paimon: ...D-did you hear that? Wh-Where did it come from?

Zhongli: The reception, it seems.

Paimon: Aether, how about... you go check it out, and... Paimon will bring up the rear.

Y/n: Yeah *pushes him forward*

Aether: *sighs*

Upon approaching the reception desk, a little girl was seen attending the reception

Paimon: Oh, there you are! But you can't even reach the counter!

Aether: Paimon, if we're going to talk about height, you ahh...

Paimon: Joke's on you — Paimon floats, so height is no restriction. Anyway, there's something weird about this one over here. What's that talisman doing on her forehead? It can't be... she's... a zombie!?

Qiqi: Welcome to Bubu Pharmacy. I am Qiqi. Once upon a time, Qiqi died. Then, Qiqi was saved by the adepti. Now, Qiqi is a zombie.

Aether: Do zombies also count as adepti...?

Y/n: Something like this would be unimaginable in Mondstadt...

Zhongli: Hello... little girl. Do you sell Everlasting Incense here?

Qiqi: Excuse me, sir. Did you bring your prescription?

Zhongli: I... Surely no prescription is needed to purchase Everlasting Incense? It's not a controlled substance...

Qiqi: Qiqi can get your medicine. But only if you show Qiqi your prescription. These are Qiqi's orders, from Qiqi.

Aether: "Orders"? Why is she being so difficult?

Zhongli: I'm afraid that she's probably right — it's to do with her orders. Zombies are limited to acting within the confines of their orders. And somehow, in this case, the zombie issues her own orders to herself. My dear Qiqi, we didn't bring a prescription, I'm afraid. But we do hope that you can still help us find some Everlasting Incense.

Qiqi: Okay then.

Paimon: How did you manage that?

Y/n: Hold on, this is going way too smoothly. There's got to be a catch

Qiqi: But, Qiqi helps you, you help Qiqi. Only fair.

Y/n: Knew it

Paimon: Since when do customers need to do favors for customer service staff?

Zhongli: Never mind, just think of it as a peer-to-peer transaction. That way, everybody wins. Sometimes, in Liyue, the art of the deal is simply about victory via mental gymnastics.

Qiqi: Go to Mt. Tianheng. Find the Guizhong Ballista. And hunt a Cocogoat. Please and thank you.

Aether: Hunt the what with the which at where?

Zhongli: Guizhong Ballista... I have heard of this device before. It is a kind of crossbow turret, installed on Mt. Tianheng by an adeptus in the distant past. An early mechanical device. Located in Tianheng Pass, it was designed to automatically fire at large monsters, protecting Liyue from external threats.

Paimon: Mr. Zhongli really knows Liyue inside out!

Zhongli: Apparently, not quite... This is the first I have ever heard of the "Cocogoat."

Qiqi: The Cocogoat is a legendary animal. An adeptibeast.

Paimon: Did you wanna add anything else, or...

Qiqi: No. Just that the Cocogoat is a legendary animal. An adeptibeast. What it looks like: don't know. Where to find it: don't know either. Where it came from: also don't know. Actually *walks to Y/n* Can you please crouch down to Qiqi miss?

Y/n: hm? Sure *crouching ans suddenly feels Qiqi's hands on her chest* Eh!?!!?

Qiqi: From what Qiqi remembers, the Cocogoat has two big balls on it, but their not as big as yours infact yours are huge and the ones that the Cocogoat has are small

Y/n: Ehh!?! *red as a tomato*

Aether: *nosebleeds while blushing*

Zhongli: *has a dark aura surrounding him* Very well then... Let's start by investigating near the Guizhong Ballista. Perhaps we will find some clues.

Paimon: What the heck is a Cocogoat... *floats to Y/n and also touches her chest* Qiqi is right, How come your chest is huge? Paimon has seen a lot of women and their chest isn't as big as yours

Y/n: Can we please stop talking about my chest!?! It's embarrassing!!!!

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Paimon: *looking at the Ballista* It's huge! Paimon can totally believe it took an adeptus to build this. But... how do you operate this thing? Just think how much strength you would need...

Zhongli: Hmm... It is currently inoperable, in any case. This device is broken.

Paimon: Aw, what? It broke!?

Zhongli: After millennia of wear and tear, even adepti contraptions are difficult to maintain.

Paimon: So what're we gonna do? Quick, Mr. Zhongli, use your unlimited high-society knowledge powers!

Zhongli: Hmm. You almost make it sound like I'm some sort of... bourgeois parasite, whose only utility lies in providing quaint pieces of trivia on demand. That said, let me think for a moment...

Y/n: Spare parts were made for the Guizhong Ballista when it was first built, in case it was damaged in battle. As I recall, there is a military supply post from that period somewhere inside the Pass. If we can retrieve the spare parts from where they are stored, we would be able to repair the Guizhong Ballista.

Paimon: So... what you're saying is that you actually understand the working principles?

Y/n: mhm, I have a smattering of knowledge on the topic. With the parts in hand, I could fix it.

Paimon: Wow, so you know how to fix it?

Y/n: Mhm, I like to sometimes make or fix things, so a "friend" of mine actually managed to teach me about the Guizhong Ballista and how it works along with how to fix it

After finding the parts and Y/n fixing it back to its original state

Y/n: There, it's fixed now, it was easy

Paimon: Woo! Now how do we turn it on?

Zhongli: It's easy enough. We simply need to do this... Look, it even has a scope.

Paimon: *moving the scope around* Over here we have... nothing. And over there... More nothing. *moved the scope again and saw three Treasure Hoarders*

Y/n: Looks like it won't end well

Aether: Agreed

Freckle Huang: Hey! Just what do you think you're doing!? So you fixed up this turret... because you're planning to do what, exactly!?

Zhongli: Not a turret. A Guizhong Ballista. Also, kindly state your name before you ask a question, it's just good manners.

Freckle Huang: Ha! Are you blind or something? You're looking at the leader of the Treasure Hoarders, old man! This area's supposed to be chock-full of hidden treasures, but you can't get anywhere near them with this thing keeping watch. It might look like any other mechanical device, but trust me, it's got a mind of its own! Last time we approached the mountain, it nearly skewered one of our guys! A few of us risked our lives to disarm it — which, amazingly, we managed — and then we turn our backs for two seconds and you've ALREADY GONE AND REPAIRED IT!?

Y/n: *shouts* Well, all I see is a...a big bully!!! Who obviously didn't get an education and is too dumb to understand the Guizhong Ballista!!!

Zhongli/Aether/Paimon: ... *sweat drops* "She really doesn't know any curse words"

Freckle Huang: Tch, The next thing you'll be repairing is your faces, and that's if you get out of this alive! Especially you girl!!!!

Zhongli: Tut-tut. Vandalizing the legacy of an adeptus for selfish gain. Disgraceful behavior. It is not we who need reprimanding, but you.

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After defeating all the Treasure Hoarders

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Paimon: These lowlifes didn't know who they were messing with!

Zhongli: Troubling ourselves over this rabble is not worth the time. We should focus on our contract with Qiqi.

Paimon: Oh yeah... that. So we've got the Guizhong Ballista working, but where's our Cocogoat?

Zhongli: A search using the Guizhong Ballista revealed no significant life forms nearby, save for the usual wildlife. What's more, a contraption built using adeptus technology should have no trouble detecting an "adeptibeast" as Qiqi put it.

Paimon: Sigh... Which means...

Aether: Repairing this was a complete waste of time?

Paimon: Paimon wouldn't go that far. We did something positive, right?

Zhongli: We won't solve anything while standing here and racking our brains. Let's return to Bubu Pharmacy, explain that we could not find a Cocogoat, and review our next step.

Paimon: Good idea. We did our best, and that's what counts.

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Zhongli: Forgive us, we were unable to fulfill our end of the contract. We found no trace of the Cocogoat adeptibeast of which you speak.

Qiqi: Ah. What a disappointment. Don't worry about it. But I feel very disappointed.

Paimon: Aw, poor Qiqi... Why does Paimon feel so guilty all of a sudden?

Aether: What do you need this Cocogoat for?

Qiqi: Cocogoat milk is tasty. So tasty. Much better than normal goat milk. Only an adeptibeast could make such tasty milk. I'm sorry. I have a... poor memory. I cannot remember the name of the milk. That's why I wrote it down. Where did I put it... *grabs the paper* Ah. Here. This is the name. "Coconut milk."

Crowd: Ehh!?

Zhongli: ...I... owe you both an apology. I hastily agreed to what appeared to be an equitable agreement with this zombie child, when perhaps I should have undertaken further due diligence.

Paimon: Never mind Zhongli, you didn't know. As the Liyue proverb goes, "All things are random, and... so how are you supposed to predict anything?" Literally no one could have seen this coming...

Qiqi: Excuse me, everyone. Did Qiqi say a bad thing?

Paimon: Ooh... Sorry, Aether, but Paimon's gonna leave the job of shattering this poor kiddo's world to you...

Y/n: Please go easy on her

Aether: It's time to tell you where coconut milk comes from....It all begins with the fruit of the coconut tree...

After telling Qiqi where coconut milk comes from

Qiqi: No... Im-Impossible...

Paimon: Seems Qiqi took this pretty hard.

Aether: They all need to grow up sometime.

Y/n: *pats Qiqi's head* Don't say that, all kids don't handle taking the truth easily, like me for an example, I still don't know where babies come from and Jean refuses to tell me

Zhongli: I see...

Baizhu: Haha, someone learnt a valuable life lesson today, then? Thank you all for looking after my little Qiqi.

Zhongli: Might I ask, who...

Baizhu: Ah, how rude of me. I'm Baizhu, boss of the Bubu Pharmacy.

Paimon: Paimon thought Qiqi was the boss... turns out it's some wacko who wears medicinal ingredients around his neck!

White Snake: What a sorry state of affairs... This little mascot is even more of a simpleton than Qiqi...

Paimon: Ah! The medicine— the snake is s-speaking!

Y/n: Wow, a talking snake! *amazed*

Aether: Nothing in Liyue surprises me anymore.

White Snake: Hmph! I prefer to stay silent. But faced with strangers, I must speak, lest you mistake me for an escapee from the medicine cabinet, for I am a living, breathing serpent!

Baizhu: Hahaha, don't mind Changsheng, she's a good girl, really. As for you four... Communal chaos-causing with Qiqi aside, what business brings you here?

Zhongli: Do you sell Everlasting Incense in this fine establishment?

Baizhu: Everlasting Incense? Why, of course we do!

Paimon: Phew, at last! Things are finally starting to come together—

Baizhu: Three million Mora, top quality, guaranteed.

Y/n: Three million?! Does it have gold or what?

Paimon: You might as well just rob the Golden House! *stomps her foot* Oh, but the Qixing have taken it over for now... Security will be tighter than usual.

Zhongli: Hmm... Three million... An innocuous number in and of itself, though practically speaking, it could be a hard sum to come by.

Paimon: It's a crazy number! We'd never be able to make that much Mora, and as for Mr. Zhongli... he's around three million short.

Zhongli: This is correct.

Aether: No shame...

Paimon: What are we gonna do? Is this the part where we go crawling back to Childe?

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Twenty minutes later...

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Childe: Bwahahahahahahahaha! Cocogoat! Cocogo— Ahahaow my sides hurt... Oh my goodness, I cannot BELIEVE you fell for that! And the example makes it better!

Paimon: Hey! Less laughter, more sympathy!

Y/n: Stop talking about my chest!!! *pouting*

Childe: I'm almost in tears over here... Ah, thank you, that was the best laugh I've had in a long time. In return, I'm more than happy to sort out this mess you've managed to get yourselves into...Excuse me, sir... Dr. Baizhu, isn't it? Truly honored. I'm Childe, one of the Fatui harbingers. Forgive my audacity, but I see a great many opportunities for us to collaborate in the future...If Bubu Pharmacy needed a stable supply of, say, coconut milk, the Fatui could help by setting up a robust and speedy distribution network.

Changsheng: Strange... I knew the Fatui infiltrated businesses with seductive deals, but... So much fuss over coconut milk?

Qiqi: Coconut milk. Baizhu. Quick. Qiqi wants coconut milk.

Baizhu: Ah... Yes, of course, Qiqi, anything you want... Th-Thank you, Childe. I look forward to a successful collaboration in the future. I can give you a discount on that Everlasting Incense too, let's say... 2,990,000 Mora.

Paimon: That's like, zero difference from three million!

Y/n: But at the same time, at least the price isn't the same as before

Zhongli: Hmm... 2,990,000... Also an innocuous number in and of itself, though practically speaking it is a whole ten thousand less than the original sum of three million. Well, now that this is settled, we must head back to Yujing Terrace. Mr. Childe, Dr. Baizhu, Little Miss Qiqi, see you soon.

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Childe: That lot is an absolute riot. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. So. You've been eavesdropping, I hope. What have I missed?

Ekaterina: Yes, Master Childe. They spoke of the Qixing taking the Golden House... and P̴̡̧̹̹̮̯̗̖͓̗̱͙̙͉̟̰̹͔͚͈͛̈́͆̌̔̽͌͂̎́̍̓͋͋̉̒̒̑̆̚͝͝͝͝ͅr̵̡̧̢̢̲̟͙̜̖̦̜̱̼̬͙̪͎͓̮̺̙̙̪̻͍͖̼͚͓̗͖̹̝̗̗͓͋̌̂̍͋̉̀̊͘͝ͅơ̵͎̱̰̲̫͖͓͔̳͓̩̘̺̲̝͔̣͙̳͙̩̅̐́̓̍͒́̀͛̇̊͐͂̄̒͂͌͗̃͋̎̈́̓̋̃̿̂͐͊͆̎̕͠͝j̶̧̨̡̬̬̲̺͙̬̮̻̝̯̖̺̰̘͔͉͛̋̈́̓̈́̂̃̌̇̓̌̂͆̀̓̾͆́̋̍̇̑͊̐͘̕ę̴̨̛̼̠͇̘̹͚͍͓͚̙̰̖̳̝̞̥̱͈̫̜̬͙̗̩̉̈́̏͋͌̉͆̋͛̈́̍̌̄͆̊̉̑͊́̃͐͒̇͑̅̎́̍͌̌͊͗̕͘͘͝c̵̨̩̫͈͚̣͎̬̈́t̴̨̧̨̛͓̮̜̙̻͙̘͚̭̗̝̺̬͓͈̲͈̹̟͕̙̥̣͎̹̰͉͎̹͙̫̺̺̝͈̗͓̤̫́̒́͂̌̑͋͗̑͗̉̐̓̈̈́́̓̋̈́̇͂̚̚͘̕͘͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅͅ ̴̧̨̧̡̛̛͉͖̰̳̹̬͎̼̞̖͎̰̞̝͖͔̹̠̱̜̜̼̳̤̹͓̺̣̟̣͉̻̫̪͍̝̞̻̰̦̌̇͊̓͛͋̈́̍̄͑̔̊̏͆̔́̎̌̋̈͐̆͆͌͒̅̅̚̚͘͜͜͝͝ͅͅĜ̸̥̺̣͕͇̠͑̈́͆́̈̓̀̊͘̕̕ǫ̸̛̗̼̤͙̫̹̰̳̝̹̗͖̤͇͈̟̞̭̮͋̆̃̑͑̄̿̇̂̔̀̒́̈́̈̔̿̏̓̉̈́͗͒̅̈́ḑ̶̡̢̨͚͎̹͔̦̣͖̦̤̟̤̗͎̟̺̤͚̭̰̞̗̺͙̣͍͇̬̭̘̮̥̥̞̻̖͔̤̤͎̪̠̀͋͂̈́̽͛͐̔̌̋̋͒̔̋̇͂̾̅̈̄̌̌́̑̕̚͘ seems to be getting more suspicious of us

Childe: Well, well, well. Ningguang and her Qixing cronies. What else would they be hiding in the Golden House... if not the Exuvia? I apologize, Aether. But I warned you, didn't I? As the old Liyue saying goes: "The walls have ears." *chuckles* I expected no less from P̴̡̧̹̹̮̯̗̖͓̗̱͙̙͉̟̰̹͔͚͈͛̈́͆̌̔̽͌͂̎́̍̓͋͋̉̒̒̑̆̚͝͝͝͝ͅr̵̡̧̢̢̲̟͙̜̖̦̜̱̼̬͙̪͎͓̮̺̙̙̪̻͍͖̼͚͓̗͖̹̝̗̗͓͋̌̂̍͋̉̀̊͘͝ͅơ̵͎̱̰̲̫͖͓͔̳͓̩̘̺̲̝͔̣͙̳͙̩̅̐́̓̍͒́̀͛̇̊͐͂̄̒͂͌͗̃͋̎̈́̓̋̃̿̂͐͊͆̎̕͠͝j̶̧̨̡̬̬̲̺͙̬̮̻̝̯̖̺̰̘͔͉͛̋̈́̓̈́̂̃̌̇̓̌̂͆̀̓̾͆́̋̍̇̑͊̐͘̕ę̴̨̛̼̠͇̘̹͚͍͓͚̙̰̖̳̝̞̥̱͈̫̜̬͙̗̩̉̈́̏͋͌̉͆̋͛̈́̍̌̄͆̊̉̑͊́̃͐͒̇͑̅̎́̍͌̌͊͗̕͘͘͝c̵̨̩̫͈͚̣͎̬̈́t̴̨̧̨̛͓̮̜̙̻͙̘͚̭̗̝̺̬͓͈̲͈̹̟͕̙̥̣͎̹̰͉͎̹͙̫̺̺̝͈̗͓̤̫́̒́͂̌̑͋͗̑͗̉̐̓̈̈́́̓̋̈́̇͂̚̚͘̕͘͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅͅ ̴̧̨̧̡̛̛͉͖̰̳̹̬͎̼̞̖͎̰̞̝͖͔̹̠̱̜̜̼̳̤̹͓̺̣̟̣͉̻̫̪͍̝̞̻̰̦̌̇͊̓͛͋̈́̍̄͑̔̊̏͆̔́̎̌̋̈͐̆͆͌͒̅̅̚̚͘͜͜͝͝ͅͅĜ̸̥̺̣͕͇̠͑̈́͆́̈̓̀̊͘̕̕ǫ̸̛̗̼̤͙̫̹̰̳̝̹̗͖̤͇͈̟̞̭̮͋̆̃̑͑̄̿̇̂̔̀̒́̈́̈̔̿̏̓̉̈́͗͒̅̈́ḑ̶̡̢̨͚͎̹͔̦̣͖̦̤̟̤̗͎̟̺̤͚̭̰̞̗̺͙̣͍͇̬̭̘̮̥̥̞̻̖͔̤̤͎̪̠̀͋͂̈́̽͛͐̔̌̋̋͒̔̋̇͂̾̅̈̄̌̌́̑̕̚͘

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Zhongli: Well, as it stands, we've hired helpers, and we've acquired the Everlasting Incense. The completion of our preparations is not far off.

Paimon: Whew... Finally!

Zhongli: Well, Traveler. Have you gained anything from our adventure so far?

Aether: I'm not sure if we've been living the high life...or experiencing the struggles of the poor?

Y/n: I agree *hears her stomach grumbling a little* Sorry, haven't eaten anything

Zhongli: Haha, which is it, I wonder? The questions that such travels raise are ever so complicated. Well, I'll leave you both to ruminate over it yourselves. As to remuneration for the help, I've decided......to treat you both to a meal.

Aether: Zhongli... treating? Wow. Amazing.

Zhongli: Oh? Ah, yes, don't worry. I will remember to bring the Mora this time. Tonight, I shall take you both to an old hole-in-the-wall, praised throughout Liyue.

Paimon: Hole-in-the-wall? As in... a cool restaurant?

Zhongli: Indeed. let us meet near the harbor at "Third-Round Knockout."

[nomnonsworld]

The ‘fun’ of Haunted Houses

Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo go through some haunted houses but Tubbo leaves still a lil bit shaken so Tommy and the Ranman help him calm down and enjoy the rest of the night together.

TW: Tubbo have a panic attack, people screaming and yelling. If you are uncomfortable with any of this don’t read it! You can just continue scrolling. Gets very soft after!

Also sorry if this eh cus this is the first fic I’ve every written, but I enjoyed writing it.

….

Ranboo was sitting on the sofa looking through some theme parks so Bench trio could have some fun this Spooky month.

“Hey Tommy! Tubbo! C’mere I wanna show you guys something!”

The two boys walk in, “what is it Boo?”

“Would you guys like to go to a theme park and check out some rides and haunted houses with me?”

Tommy and Tubbo stare at each other having a silent conversation before agreeing to go.

“Awesome! Ok we can leave in an hour or so if you guys want?” “Yea, that’s fine.”

…

An hour or so later, they arrived at the theme park. The trio decided to look around first since they had gotten there a bit early before performers were released. They looked through some gift shops, getting stuff for eachother and their other friends some souvenirs.

Once all of them were done looking they decided to go on a few rides and then maybe get a bite to eat.

The first few roller coasters were awesome! They went on a roller coaster with big drops, some had loop-de-loops, it was great! Except for a certain coaster that turns you upside down, Ranboo noped out on that one.

Once the clock hit 7 PM, the performers were let out.

This is where Tubbo started to panic.

Tubbo wasn’t too fond of scariness. So this wasn’t the best experience for him.

People were walking around with really detailed gore makeup, people who were zombies, creepy looking doll people, everything! And all of them were giving him a bad feeling.

While the three were walking back from a gift shop, a performer popped out of nowhere in front of Tubbo causing him to yell.

“AHH!!” He screamed, jumping back into Ranboo and Tommy. “Fucking hell man! Where the fuck did he come from?!”

“Are you ok Tubbo? You reacted pretty violent?”

“Yea Tubs, we can go back home if you’d like?” The two tall teens responded.

“Uhm, yeah, I wanna go back home” “Ok. Come on Tubs, let’s go home.”

His breathing picked up while they walked and felt two hands on his back soothing him. Tubbo hugged himself onto Tommy and Ranboo and they happily accepted the hug back, using themselves as shields for their Bee Boy.

…

Once they got home safely, after the many failed attempts at trying to scare Tubbo while leaving the theme park, Tommy sat Tubbo down on the sofa after giving him a piggyback ride half way on the way home.

“Stay here, I’ll go make us some Hot Chocolate, ok?” And he walks away into the kitchen while Ranboo is gathering all the blankets and pillows they could find to create a pillow fort on their sofa and Tubbo can choose what movie they were going to watch for that night.

Ranboo started creating a sort of canopy that was looking pretty well and Tubbo was putting on “Oliver and Company”. Tommy walks in a few minutes later with three mugs of Hot Chocolate, Tubbo’s having extra marshmallows, as he hands them out.

“So what did you choose Tubs?” “Oliver and Company” “Oh alright, I wanna see Billy Joel sing as a dog”

About almost half away through the movie, Tubbo was still a little uneasy and didn’t go unseen by both his best friends.

“Hey Tubbo?” “Yea bossman?” “Well, you still seem a little uneasy and we were wondering if you’d like a distraction?”

Tubbo froze and his face turned a light pink.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want it! We were just wanting to make you feel better after today.” The tall blonde quickly reassured.

“Umm, no it’s fine Toms, I don’t mind it”

The two tall teenagers sat on both sides of Tubbo and got in a position where all three of them were cuddling each other.

The movie continued playing in the background when he starts feeling a soft motion on his sides.

“This ok Tubs?” “Y-yeah, i-ihihits ahalrihihight”

The movie is slowly drowned out by Tubbo’s quite giggling. Ranboo calmly raises his hand onto Tubbo’s tummy and starts to lightly trace and pinch.

“R-rahanbohohoo! th-thahahat tihihihckles!” “Sorry bud, gotta make sure all the scariness is gone”

Tommy took this as an invitation to tuck his face into the older’s neck, letting his soft hair flutter while blowing small raspberries.

“HehehEY! Tohohohoms! quihihihiht ihihit!“ “but-you’re-so-adorable!” The blonde responds, blowing a raspberry after every word.

Tubbo all of a sudden shrieks causing Tommy to stop for a second before realizing what happened. “NOHOHOOHOHOHO! RAHAHAHANBOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE!” Ranboo had leaned down to lightly nibble on bee boys tummy.

“Alright Boo, slow down a bit there. We don’t want to deal with a dead bee boi on our hands” Both Ranboo and Tommy slow down to stop, seeing as Tubbo’s laughter was becoming slightly strained.

After Tubbo’s giggle fit, he starts to sleepily cling to both his bestfriends and relished in their comfort.

“Do you want us to continue Tubs? Or do you just wanna cuddle?” Tubbo was to tired and comfy to think but shyly hid his face in his blanket and responds. “C-can wehe do both?” “Of course!” The dirty blond happily responds.

The three readjust themselves, making sure they are all comfortable, as Tommy grabs Tubbo’s hands and starts tracing shapes while Ranboo does the same to his tummy.

“Goodnight Toby, we love you” is the last thing he hears as he drifted off into sleep, wondering where he would be with these two knuckleheads.

The next morning, he awakens to the sun shining in his face, blinding him slightly but once he looks to his left and right, a smile is brought back to his face as he sees Tommy and Ranboo cuddled up on his sides snoring quietly.

[dourpeep]

Ahh Halloween at last-

Just a random thought about how Venti and Scara would probably leave pranks all around to annoy everyone.

Venti: Wine or Trick!

Scara: Trick or Trick.

sdjfoiheoiahsidohf please they're both going to get tricks. People don't just give out wine after all, silly Venti.

And Scaramouche's probably going to get a flick on the forehead though considering he's a harbinger maybe not the best idea-

But yes! I think that Venti in particular is one of the guys who'd most get into spirit. Telling spooky tales, dressing up, participating in some festivities! All of that with the liveliness of Mond is certainly something that you shouldn't miss and the Anemo Archon himself ensures to participate.

Ehe...of course, everyone knows that he's not a child so candy isn't really in the itinerary...but hey!! Nothing beats singing a few songs for the season to get a free drink or too- maybe even grumpy Diluc'll humor him (he won't).

As for tricks though? A little gust of wind here, a little cool breeze there...it's not so much a trick, but rather it is fun to feed into the feel of the spooky holiday. It's also fun to mess with a few of the decorations! Rattling the bones of a skeleton crafted, this one in particular is stationed at the alchemy table down in the square--Venti was able to get a good scream out of poor Timaeus), maybe make the clothing of a scarecrow (it seems the owner decided to give it a cape) billow out while the crops surrounding don't sway a single inch.

Ahhh yes, harmless fun!

Now...as for Scaramouche, we'll go modern au because I miss roommate Scara, but he'd probably try to get a lot of scares in. Fiddling with lights to make the hall dark, that one bathroom mat that changes color when it's wet (red, naturally), probably also placing two (not entirely) convincing marks on his neck along with fake vampire teeth. All while acting as casual as usual.

It's actually almost funny how into it he gets, considering how lack luster he is with most other holidays.

Actually, he'd probably also get into shenanigains due to his coworkers friends, Signora and Tartaglia (who never fails to correct him because that's too formal). Well. More Tartaglia than Signora.

But hands down, he seems like he'd be the type of person to go to a haunted house in hopes his companion(s) will get scared. All the pictures that get taken? He's holding back a laugh because oh my god I can't believe that scared you.

[dayna-scully]

ncis s4 lb

season 3  |  season 5  |  season 6  |  season 7  |  season 8  |  season 9  |  season 10  |  etc

4x01

you can’t ever convince me ziva and tony weren’t sleeping together between s3 and 4

worried boyfriend tony

I was hoping maybe save me

she needs her dad kill me

we love you too 😭

she got dad to come home

he’s supposed to be dead/apparently he’s gotten better

they were 10000% fucking lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

“when I need to be” quick question: what the fuck

skinny summer mcgoo

they use the same safe house over and over again

why wasn’t I with ziva?

she’s scared, not that she’ll ever admit that

4x02

I wonder how different the show would have been if they’d always written tony and Abby as being mature and serious the majority of the time - the childishness gets really really annoying, and there’s such a change in quality when they are more mature

dad’s home!!!

4x03

uuuuuUUUUGH I forgot how early Tony’s undercover stuff started

now that gibbs is back there’s so much tension between z/t

perhaps because z is jealous of the “mystery girlfriend”

tfw you’ve already got a girlfriend but you’re still checking out your totally platonic professional work partner’s ass

ziva is definitely a daddy’s girl in a way that Abby isn’t, Abby’s sugar sweet and spoiled, but ziva is the one that really needs the emotional support

I wonder if ziva ever actually thought about having kids with tony before tali

I wonder if tony thought about it too

has anyone ever told you you’re attractive/my brother 😂

you’re a geek, not mentally deranged

crime!!

4x04

Timothy Jimothy McGee

4x05

uhoh Tony’s worst nightmare

personally I prefer a good shag 👀

I think it’s good to keep in mind throughout all episodes that tony and ziva have already seen each other entirely buck-ass naked

I’m not blowing on you again

again: what the fuck

totally normal

👀

now is not Paris

why do you wanna look at a dead guy’s junk Anthony

4x06

I don’t totally understand ziva’s derision of Halloween, they do have Purim in Israel (and in Jewish communities in general) it might not be as dark and spooky as American Halloween but still

maybe it’s different in the states but amber alerts are only when they know the kid’s been abducted

I mean now they do know she was abducted but that was AFTER

according to someone called Scuttle Butt

so tony and ziva are watching movies together outside of work 🤔

4x07

UGH jeanne

zeevah! Zeevah!!

this has to be the stupidest thing anyone’s ever done/then why are you following me/I don’t fricking know (it’s cause you love her you doof)

i can see down your shirt right now/I don’t think your new girlfriend would like that/what are you talking about i don’t know what you’re talking about/I’m talking about you and the fact that you no longer stare at every woman when they pass you by

so 1) tony is not as good at hiding this undercover assignment as he thinks he is, 2) ziva observes him enough to notice that his behaviour has changed and 3) ziva is the only one he is STILL checking out

not worth dying over

I’ll remember that

my son, tony (!!!!!!!!)

gibbs was unfortunate(?) enough to be stuck with the most loyal set of ducklings

4x08

the only thing I DO like about the jeanne/la grenouille plot is jealous ziva

this cannot be admissible in court even with proper chain of evidence

totally platonic to be touching the entire side of your work partner’s body with your own tony would definitely sit that close to McGee by choice right it’s not just ziva

lee looks like a ballerina

sometimes they really go hard with the imperialistic propaganda

4x09

nepotism: both Sean and Troian getting jobs on ncis

MySpace im….okay

Jenny’s only here for the hot goss

see I don’t think Jenny realizes he’s talking about jeanne, I almost wonder if she thinks he’s talking about ziva

4x10

McGee thinks ziva’s in love with me (she is)

dad and grandpa are fighting and the kiddies don’t like it

pimmy jalmer

🎶sexually frustrated “platonic” partners🎶

you two done playing grab ass

you described everything in my bedroom (why weren’t they endgame?)

I do feel bad for tony. He was definitely put in a bad situation where he was taken advantage of (by NCIS/the director) without anyone to confide in, and of course it ended really, really badly

how can ziva even tell but anyways of course she’s jealous

the usual/the usual what - oof. That expression hurts. Poor ziva

you got that moustache in a box, don’t you

4x11

sexual harassment training

LICKING YOUR COWORKER’S FACE IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR ZIVA DAVID

why are you touching dead naked people?

I suppose at this point the viewers didn’t know that jeanne had anything to do with the undercover stuff tony was doing

ziva is concerned about her boooyfrieeend-seriously though

what part of inappropriate touching don’t you understand

romantic or not, ziva seriously gives several shits about tony and his well-being

dadman to the rescue

did Jenny…also not know????

ziva is so, so concerned ugh bb

4x12

I don’t know what my moas would be

unreservedly romantic tony

ahh, you two got married and didn’t tell me

I think it’s scary!

oh ziva.

why does ziva being so concerned make gibbs so uncomfortable 🤔👀

your other phone is never on silent

IT LITERALLY DID NOT OCCUR TO ZIVA DAVID, INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE AGENT, THAT TONY COULD HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

LOOK AT THAT FACE

HOMEGIRL’S WORLD JUST GOT FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN

oh z

so the pictures that mossad had at the beginning of the season of z/t - could those have been from the agents watching tony and jeanne now?

4x13

when your wife and your girlfriend are in the same room

sounds like you have something up your wazoo

when your boyfriend has two super intense daughters who could both kill your painfully and without evidence

ooh petulant ziva

I’m certain that they used the same hall for jeanne and Tim’s apartments

“it’s important to appreciate the competition” EXCUSE ME TONY the competition for WHO??? Ziva??????

what the FUCK tony

those two are unusually motivated to find sharif 👀

4x14

what’s a little state sanctioned kidnapping between friends, eh?

mark harmon was on st elsewhere, wasn’t he?

maybe now gibbs gets why ziva’s so concerned

z is so pretty in this episode

4x15

so Tony’s so in love with jeanne that he doesn’t notice ziva dancing provocatively in front of him, but not so in love with jeanne that he’ll get in between ziva and someone who’s attracted to her

he’s also a ziva-to-English translator

oh tony

Dead Man Walking

oh dear poor z

you didn’t make her promise not to destroy it, mcgee

brain training to figure out how ziva knows the dude

aquasmurf

meetcute

so does my spleen

we finish each other’s-sandwiches

her technique 👀

falling in love with a dying man is a fantastic idea z

(Professional follow-up)

oh z

red light behaviour!!!!!

the look on your face says you are

what’s that look on your face

gee tony if you’re so in love with jeanne why are you also so in love with ziva

are you okay?

good guy tony

4x17

I’m pretty sure that mausoleum exploded in Bones too

so. over. abby.

why do they just shit on ziva all the time on this stupid show, everyone she loves dies

when you break up with your girlfriend but she’s still jealous of your wifee 😬

4x18

she’s wearing Roy’s hat 😖

oof, boy’s got a face like a brick house

I don’t want to see you naked, either tony

cold elbow

or maybe you said something when you should have said something

I’m so not interested in this melodrama 🙄

not good?

4x19

oh tony

4x20

ziva is totally unimpressed by these shenanigans

uncomfortably reflecting upon McGee’s book and ziva looks like she’s about to cry 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

campfire!

4x21

all these investigators and none of them can figure out that it’s kort

4x22

jeanne, on a fishing expedition and tony, regretting his response

ziva, studiously avoiding tony’s face while tony processes his regrets

bad news from the, um, dentist? / something like that OOPS TONY OOPS

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

she looks so hurt, ouuuch

like

she must realise how much in love she is with tony, even after roy

A GIRL LINGERS

long enough

tony/zeevah

that was...astonishingly cruel

like I can’t even comprehend

“it’s because you’re a good person” YOU DON’T DESERVE HER DINOZZO

you fuck

he’s right/he is?/i am?

4x23

noooooooooo

yeeeeeeeeees

buying a house is a loooooot

“Tony’s never vulnerable” maybe not around you, jeanne 👀

ha! I’m a normal man! I hate my wife!

I don’t know if I’m getting this ziva outfit mixed up with the one in bury your dead or if Something actually happens in this episode

something happens in this episode

so you’ll help me?

rip my little bi heart, she loves him

love you too, jeanne

poor z

4x24

I think sometimes she pretends not to know movies just to hear tony talk about them

OH NO THE BAR

to dry eyed mice

i have seen this episode an unhealthy number of times

I have a funny feeling, doctor

straight to voicemail, just like always when he’s with her

oooh z

tony?/what?!

why do you monitor tony?/i don’t monitor tony/oh yes you do, like a mother with a toddler

or a woman with a wayward lover

so if he’s profiling you, z, that means...there’s some truth to it?

tony is with his girlfriend, and you are worried about him

he is my partner, and my partner said he would be here and...and I have this not so good feeling

cut tooooooo a gun

aaaaand now to bury your dead.......

[dragonflybelle]

Osomatsu-san PS Vita game translation - Osomatsu 04 – Summer Scary Stories

Osomatsu: ... Karamatsu: ... Ichimatsu: ... Choromatsu: ... Jyushimatsu: ... Todomatsu: ... Osomatsu: ...That does it! Are you trying to kill me!! Todomatsu: Hey, Osomatsu-niisan, don’t shout like that all of a sudden. You’re too noisy... Osomatsu: Why!? Why did the fan have to break at a time like this!? And how are you guys able to just sit there like normal!? I’m at my limit! Oh, that’s right, it’ll be cool at the pachinko parlour...! Ichimatsu: Even though you don’t have anything to spend there? Osomatsu: Ugh...!

Jyushimatsu: Wassei wassei wassei... Clink! Yay, it’s a home run! Hehehe hehehehehe... Osomatsu: Ah, see... our cute Jyushimatsu has lost his mind? Are you guys ok with that? 

Todomatsu: Even If you say that, there’s nothing we can do... And wait a minute, Jyushimatsu was always weird. Osomatsu: Ah, you’re gonna say it out loud like that? Karamatsu: Heh... Don’t pointlessly resist, brothers. Why don’t you think of it like this? It’s not the summer heat that’s driving you crazy, it’s the heat of my heart... Todomatsu: Ah, I’ve been bitten by a mosquito here. It’s itchy! Itchy itchy itchy...! Osomatsu: So although we’ve got the window open, there’s no breeze coming through, but mosquitos are getting through? Sigh, that’s just shit. Karamatsu: ... Choromatsu: I think that one was your own fault, Karamatsu. Osomatsu: Oi, Ichimatsu, you do something about this. Why are you so complacent over there? Ichimatsu: We don’t have the money to buy a new fan. The summer isn’t over yet. ...So sitting still and conserving energy is the best thing to do. Todomatsu: That’s such lazy spirit, it’s almost refreshing. Choromatsu: Sigh... If there was at least a way we could make ourselves feel like it’s a little cooler, that would be nice. You know, like a wind chime or something. Karamatsu: Then why don’t I strike a chord on my guitar? Well, you might all be completely mesmerised and then get even hotter though... Osomatsu: A wind chime, huh... hey, we don’t have anything like that in the house! Come up with a better plan, Choromatsu! Karamatsu: ..........

Choromatsu: So why do you throw yourself off a cliff like that, even knowing that you’ll be ignored!? Your strength of will is amazing!  Todomatsu: Since we don’t have a wind chime, why don’t we fantasise about being on a date with a girl in a bikini? We’ll probably feel a bit more refreshed and cool. Jyushimatsu: Bikinis! Girls! Douff! Osomatsu: Jyushimatsu!!!! Karamatsu: Pull yourself together, Jyushimatsu!! Ichimatsu: He’s completely overheated, hasn’t he? Choromatsu: Isn’t he a bit too lacking in self-control? Isn’t that completely unreasonable? Todomatsu: Ugh... I won’t forget you, Jyushimatsu-niisan...! Rest in peace...! Jyushimatsu: I’ve had a brain wave!! Todomatsu: Uwah! Please don’t get up so suddenly. Seriously, it’s bad for my heart...! Osomatsu: Hey, Jyushimatsu, what do you mean you had a brainwave? Did you come up with some way of keeping cool!? Jyushimatsu: Yes yes yes y-yes yees!! I think we should tell scary stories. The other five: Scary stories? Choromatsu: Ah... I see. Certainly, I do feel as though my body temperature drops when I listen to a scary story... Osomatsu: Ah, that could be good. We won’t know until we try. Let’s give it a go! Ichimatsu: ...If it makes me cooler, I’ll try anything. Osomatsu: Alright! So let’s start with making a spooky atmosphere. This bright, sunny room won’t do at all. Let’s close the shutters like this first. And let’s light this candle I found in the kitchen.

Jyushimatsu: Uhehe! It’s pitch black!! Choromatsu: Huh, but... isn’t even hotter than before? Osomatsu: Just your imagination, just your imagination. You’re too sensitive, Choromatsu.  Choromatsu: Wait, what does this have to do with being sensitive? Osomatsu: Alright, let’s get started right away. We should go in clockwise order. And starting from Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu: ...From me? Well, alright. Erm... once upon a time there lived an old man and woman. Osomatsu: Hah? Ichimatsu: The old man went into the mountains to cut grass and the woman went to the river to wash clothes... Osomatsu: Hey, wait a minute! This is only a guess, but isn’t this the start of Momotaro!? Ichimatsu: Yeah. I’ve always found this story creepy. A person being born from a peach? How ridiculous! Osomatsu: Well, when you think about it a lot, it is scary... But that kind of thing is no good, next! Ichimatsu: Tsk. Karamatsu: Heh... Then I have a tale for you. This is the story of how one year ago I sold my soul to the devil. Osomatsu: Next! Karamatsu: Ah, I didn’t finish the story yet... Todomatsu: Ok, then it’s my turn. Well, this is only a story that I heard... but someone was walking along and they suddenly got a text. It said “I’m Mary. I’m at the station right now.” Choromatsu: Ah... right. Todomatsu: They didn’t know who it was and it was annoying, so they read it but ignored it, but then several more texts came. Even though they blocked it several times, they changed their ID and sent more. And Mary was coming closer to where they were, bit by bit, the station, the footbridge, the park... Ichimatsu: ...Sigh. Todomatsu: It was like Mary was using GPS to work out where they were. So they turned off GPS and put their phone into flight mode, just in case... Osomatsu: Arghh! That’s enough, that’s enough, that’s enough! Todomatsu: Eh, why? Choromatsu: The story is too contemporary and not scary at all! Why does Mary have a smart phone? Todomatsu: Of course she has one. Nowadays, it’s rare not to have one. Choromatsu: Yeah, if you’re a human being. That’s enough of that story. I don’t think it’s going to get scary even if we listen to it the whole way through. Todomatsu: Eh, but it was just about to get good... Ichimatsu: Yawn... Todomatsu: You’re kidding, right, that was so boring you felt sleepy? Ichimatsu: Well, that is true... My mind kind of went blank... Choromatsu: Huh? Well, now that you mention it... Osomatsu: Ah, seriously, that’s no good at all! There no one who can tell a proper story!  Todomatsu: If you’re going to talk like that, then you should tell a story, Osomatsu-niisan. Osomatsu: Hmm... alright. You won’t wet your pants out of fear, right guys? Did you guys know? This house’s secret... Karamatsu: Secret? Osomatsu: Yeah... The truth is apparently this land was originally used as a graveyard. There was also a burial mound for severed heads nearby. That’s right, this place is a ghost nest. If you look in the mirror at 2AM, you can see a whole swarm of ghosts reflected back. I’ve see that a number of times... Todomatsu: Eeek...! Y, you’re joking right? Osomatsu: You guys have felt it too, right? Sensed somebody behind you while you were shampooing your hair... Looked at the clock and it said 4:44!? Ichimatsu: ...! T, that’s true...! Osomatsu: Yeah... this house is cursed. The fact that we’re NEETs is all the fault of the ghosts haunting this house. Karamatsu: Was... was that what it was? I thought my life wasn’t turning out very well...! Osomatsu: (Of course I’m lying. Well, it’s so we can feel cooler, right? I can be forgiven for this level of lie.) Osomatsu: Right, and with that, my story is over. Do you feel cooler? Choromatsu: Definitely... I’m kind of thirsty... Ah, can you pass me that water? Shoumatsu-niisan. Osomatsu: ...Heh?

Shoumatsu: Yes, here you go. Choromatsu: Thanks, Shoumatsu-niisan. Todomatsu: You don’t seem like you’d have any spooky stories to tell, Shoumatsu-niisan.  Osomatsu: ...Eh? Eh? Ichimatsu: You don’t need to do anything other than be here, Shoumatsu-niisan. Shoumatsu: ............. Osomatsu: (They’ve increased. The number of bothers I have has increased by one! Who? Why is there a Shoumatsu? Could he be... a real ghost? Todomatsu: Hmm, what’s up, Osomatsu-niisan? You shut up all of a sudden. Osomatsu: Eh? No... not, not really. It’s nothing! Ahaha, ahahahaha... Osomatsu: (Wait wait wait, why have they all accepted Shoumatsu’s existence? ...This isn’t good! This situation isn’t good!) Osomatsu: Ah! I feel a lot cooler already, how about you? Let’s stop with the spooky stories already... Shoumatsu: ...Not yet. Osomatsu: ...Eh? Shoumatsu: We’re not finished yet. Osomatsu: Wait, hey... Todomatsu: Ahaha, you’re right, Shoumatsu-niisan. We’ve finally gotten into it, let’s keep going for a bit longer! Choromatsu: It’s Shoumatsu-niisan’s turn next isn’t it? Come on, get talking. Shoumatsu: ............... Alright, I’ll begin. Why am I in this place... What happened in the past to lead to this? And when my story is over, I’ll let you into to a world where you won’t even feel the heat... Osomatsu: !? (This is no good... We can’t listen to his story! He’s going to take us with him for sure! I’ve got to do something... but what?) Osomatsu: That’s it, at times like these, I should talk to that person! Hello.. blah blah blah, what should I do!?

Option One: Get out of there! Osomatsu: ...Ok. I’ll try to get out of here somehow.

Choromatsu: So Shoumatsu-niisan. What kind of story is this? Shoumatsu: Huhuhu. This story begins in the third year of the Kaiei Period (1850)... Osomatsu: Wahhhhhhh! Wait a minute. I need to go to the toilet first!! (I’ll just go right outside the house. Then I’ll be saved...!) Shoumatsu: Wait. Osomatsu: ...!? Shoumatsu: I won’t let you leave here now.

Osomatsu: Ha, hahaha... But, look, if I peed myself, that would suck... Shoumatsu: Are you running away? Aren’t you going to journey with everyone to a place where you won’t feel anything? Osomatsu: (Noooooooooo!! If, if it’s come to this...) Osomatsu: Ah! So you were here too, Totoko-chan. I didn’t notice! Shoumatsu: Totoko-chan? Where?

Osomatsu: Now! Woahhhhhhhhh! Pant... pant... pant... pant...!! Ahh, thank god...! I made it out somehow. Wait... huh? I was so scared, I slammed the door shut, but what happened to the rest of them? ...Well, whatever. I saved myself anyway. I won’t be able to go home for a while... 

Guess I’ll go to pachinko. I’ll be able to do something with 1000 Yen. ... ???: Are you really going? With just that much as a war chest.

Osomatsu; Huh, Ichimatsu? So you were ok. Ichimatsu? You’re kinda... weird?

Todomatsu: That’s horrible, Osomatsu-niisan. Going somewhere fun by yourself. Karamatsu: We can’t let anyone get ahead, right, brother? Osomatsu: Todomatsu!? Karamatsu too...! Wait... all of you guys!? (What’s this, what’s happening? Were they all actually taken by Shoumatsu!?) Jyushimatsu: Huh? You’re sweating bucketloads. What’s wrong Osomatsu-niisan? Osomatsu: Ahh, no... wait, I don’t feel very well... ahaha... hahaha. Ichimatsu: You’re alive, so you’ll feel unwell sometimes. That’s right, if you die, you won’t feel anything. Choromatsu: Ah, it’s nice to feel at peace. I don’t have to force myself to look for a job and I can go to idol concerts for free! What a wonderful world... Don’t you think so? Osomatsu-niisan. Osomatsu: S, so this means you guys... Shoumatsu: Hehehehehe... Osomatsu: Shoumatsu, you...! Todomatsu: We won’t forgive anyone who betrays us. Osomatsu-niisan.

Option Two: Try to reason with the ghost! Osomatsu: ...Right. I’ll see what I can do!

Karamatsu: Come on, Shoumatsu-niisan. Tell us your ultimate story... Shoumatsu: Ok, I will. Yes, it was in the third year of the Kaiei Period (1850)... Osomatsu: Stop with that story!! Shoumatsu: ...? Todomatsu: Hey, why are you stopping him? And just when Shoumatsu-niisan was trying to tell his story to us. Osomatsu: Let me say something to Shoumatsu first. There’s nothing to be gained by taking us with you! Shoumatsu: ...What are you saying? Osomatsu: Look, just think about it. We’re such shitty NEETs in this life, right? Ah... Karamatsu: ... Choromatsu: ... Shoumatsu: T, that’s... Osomatsu: I don’t wanna admit this myself, ok? I want to think that we’d be worth something anywhere we went. But that’s a bit of a stretch. People who’re the trash of society in one life, aren’t going to be able to refrain from being trash on the other side. So can’t you give us a break?

Shoumatsu: ............. I don’t need you guys after all. Choromatsu: Eh!? He disappeared!? Where did Shoumatsu-niisan go!? Karamatsu: You’re right... Shoumatsu-niisan... Shoumatsu-niisa... Shoumatsu? Todomatsu: Eh... is there somebody called that? Osomatsu: Of course there isn’t, you idiot. Hurry up and open the shutters!! Hah... hah...! ...I did it!! I got away without being taken!! ...Huh?

Karamatsu: ...

Choromatsu: ... Ichimatsu: ... Jyushimatsu: ... Todomatsu: ... Osomatsu: ...What’s up with you guys? That was a ghost just now. Aren’t you happy I saved you? Karamatsu: We have no money, no jobs and no girls... Choromatsu: We’re society’s trash... Ichimatsu: We’re not even worth anything dead... Osomatsu: Ah... Karamatsu: ... Choromatsu: ... Ichimatsu: ... Jyushimatsu: ... Todomatsu: ... Osomatsu: Reality is scarier than ghosts after all. Option Three: Don’t give into your fear! Osomatsu: You say don’t give into your fear... but how do I do that!? Ah, they hung up! Shit...! Osomatsu: (But... I feel like I heard on TV that ghosts feed off your fear. So in other words, if I can get rid of my fear, I can get away from him!?)

Shoumatsu: So I’ll start my tale. This story begins during the Spring in the third year of the Kaiei Period (1850)... Osomatsu: (Ahh, he’s see through! When you look at him long enough, you see the ends of his legs are see through! That’s so scary, it’s stupid! Uh oh... at this rate I’m going to be swallowed up by my fear!)

Jyushimatsu: ... Osomatsu: ...Hmm? (...Wait, is Jyushimatsu aware of the situation?) Shoumatsu: When I went to sleep that night, I heard a woman’s voice coming from the garden. I wondered what it was, so I looked out of the window and Jyushimatsu: ...... Shoumatsu: ... Are you hungry, Jyushimatsu?  Jyushimatsu: I’m ok... not! I’m hungry, muscle! Shoumatsu: Food... p, please wait a moment. It will all be over soon. So I looked out the window and there was not a soul to be seen... Osomatsu: Nice one, Jyushimatsu! That’s it, that’s how to do it! Choromatsu: Hmm? Be quiet, Osomatsu-niisan. Shoumatsu-niisan is talking. Osomatsu: Muscle muscle! Hustle hustle!!

Choromatsu: ...Huh!? Why are you impersonating Jyushimatsu!? Todomatsu: Hey, you’re ruining the scary atmosphere we’ve built up!? Ichimatsu: Yeah, you’re ruining it... hmm? Hey, isn’t there one more of us than normal? Karamatsu: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Huh? Seven people?! Shoumatsu: Y, you’re imagining things! Listen to my story, everyone! Osomatsu: Don’t be fooled, everyone. There’s no such person as Shoumatsu! Todomatsu: Eh...Eh!? Ehhhhh!? Then who is that? Osomatsu: Don’t be afraid of him. You’ll be taken off into the other side! Choromatsu: But scary things are scary! What should we do!? Osomatsu: Look at him. Jyushimatsu: ...I’m hungry. Ichimatsu: ...He’s not scared at all!? Osomatsu: At the very least, he doesn’t look like he’s afraid, right? If we act like him, the ghost will probably give up. Karamatsu: I see... Our pride will be torn to shreds, but we don’t have any other choice. All five except Jyushimatsu: ... Yes!

Matsuyo: Sigh, it’s hot again today. Speaking of which, the fan broke, so I wonder if the sextuplets are ok. ...Huh? The shutters are closed. That’s weird... And there’s some kind of weird smell... What on Earth are those boys doing? NEETs, I’m back...!?

Osomatsu: We’re going to beat the summer heat, two runs! Karamatsu: Even though there’s no breeze, it’s fine, inner course! Choromatsu: Even though there’s no oxygen, brushback! Ichimatsu: I’m not scared at all, nice batting! Todomatsu: Toss your fear away, centre! Jyushimatsu: How about some nice cold ice cream!

[blooms-of-ice]

RP Log: Wyda and Lin speak before a mission.

@lettersnorth​

Aislinn North Stood within the new Company House's library, seeming staring in consternation at the spray of pink candy-tufted flowers growing in a carpet under a few comfy looking chairs. She looked up at Aiswyda's approach, her clouded expression breaking into the slightest of smiles. It had seemed like an age since she had last seen her friend. "Wyda." she greeted, warmth infusing her tone. "Fancy running into you here." she jested.  "How're things?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn enters the room carrying a well worn paperback in her hand - some kind of cheap, romance novel by the looks of it. She regards Lin with a big smile. “Just adding to the collection! Things are...” Her expression twists into a frown, as she tries (and fails) to find a precise word to describe how she’s feeling. “...good! How about yourself?”

Aislinn North Hesitated a moment as Wyda obviously reached for the right word but then turned to eye the flower carpet again. "Just...trying to get my bearings by taking myself through the new House." she motioned to the carpet in question. "These are beautiful and I don't want to know the talent involved in getting them to thrive here...but I would feel bad stepping on them to get to the chair." she turned now and took in the library in its entirety. "It's all quite amazing, really."

Aislinn North took a couple soft steps to peer into the rest of the library. "The smell of old books /and/ fresh grass? Not sure you're going to be able to get me to leave."

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn playfully pats Lin on the side of her arm. “It’s alright! I’m sure they’re some kind of magic flower that can handle being a good stomping. And if they don’t recover, well...We can keep it between us then.”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Not just that, but the cafe is just around the corner. Super cozy, right?” Wyda moves to slide in her own book into the first shelf that has space. There it goes! Saucy romance, riiight next to academic tomes on aetherology. “But! If I see you making the library your primary residence...I’ll have to send you to your room.”

Aislinn North  A sharp breath escaped her, a bit of laughter, as she turned to face Wyda. "Duly noted." she wryly replied, before peering at the book the Seawolf has placed on the shelves. Shaking her head, she could only smile in amusement. "I'll just have to pry myself away every now and then." At the mention of the cafe, she turned and headed that way. "I briefly saw that coming in....but then the books caught my eye and all else was forgotten." she passed Wyda a look over her shoulder as she went. ...

Aislinn North: "How're you liking the new place?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn follows Lin on the way out, proud to show her the place. The cafe certainly was one of her favorite spots to linger, only second to the bar! “I’m liking it so far! A lot more roomy, which is...both good and bad. Good because I can do this now.” Wyda stretches out her arms and turns in place, all without hitting a pillar or chair. “Bad because there’s a lot more to clean now, I figure.”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “And it’s kinda spooky when everyone’s gone to bed, and you’re in the main hall alone! You never know when....ghosts......y'know......”

Aislinn North laughed lowly as Wyda spun around. "There's certainly more room to spread out here....wait, ghosts?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn looks around, shifty eyed. “I dunno, I mean...feels about right, eh? Big place like this could be hiding all sorts of unwanted visitors. How do ghosts work? Why do they haunt us? So many questions...” She perks back up and redirects the topic, hard. “Have you tried the tea?”

Aislinn North Relaxed a bit as she realized Wyda was just speaking off the cuff. "Ahh. No...I haven't." she turned to glancing around the cafe. It was cute. Cozy. No doubt meant to be a welcoming sight to the mercenaries when they returned. Her eyes widened as she took in the sheer amount of baked goods. Cakes. Pastries. Breads. Carb overload ahead. She was immediately drawn to the cake display. "Oh no. Nymeia's grace, this is not good." she  murmured even as she reached up and took one of the...

Aislinn North plated cake slices down from the shelves. "Have you seen this? What are they trying to do to us?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn had never considered the cafe from such a ‘sinister’ viewpoint. Wyda thinks hard to herself. What /was/ the company trying to accomplish, serving perfect pastries to all that came by? She steps over and grabs a slice for herself, regarding it with a suspicious glare. “........I dunno. But hells, does everything taste good!”

Aislinn North briefly rummaged for a fork and took a seat as she started in on the cake. "Everything about this house is wonderful and we should stay here forever." she decided decisively with a nod around a mouthful off cake.

Aislinn North: "Even if there are ghosts." she added after a thought

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn laughs softly at Lin’s statement. Forever was a long time! But, she was right. The house certainly was lovely, ghosts or no. “Hah, seconded!”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “So, last I heard you were in Ilsabard. That’s quite far - remind me what you’ve been up to, all the way across the sea?”

Aislinn North swallowed down her bite of cake and paused a moment, as if gathering up the past suns. "Ahh. Right. Bertram said he had a lead on where Garett may have off and disappeared to. Only, he thought the mage might have fallen in with some of the more...criminal elements around Ilsabard. We went to see what we could see." she shook her head as she reached for the teapot on the table and poured both herself and Wyda a cup.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn toys with a silver fork in one hand, looking distant. The sound of hot tea being poured snaps her out of her thoughts. She gives Lin a small nod of thanks. “Garett, right. You told me about him before. Did you find what you were looking for?”

Aislinn North Stabbed at her cake. This, in and of itself, could serve as an answer to the question. "Not one bit. There was this one port we traveled to, lots of warehouses, obviously a shipping district. We were wandering around, trying to decide how to go about getting some information and I can see the guards of one of the warehouses taking a sudden interest in Bertram." she gave Wyda a pointed look over her cup. "Like they were told to look out for someone like him." she let  go a sigh. ....

Aislinn North "We ended up...ah...finding our way into the warehouse a few suns later but it was only a small time smuggling ring. Really we left with more questions than answers. Which seems to be the way of things when Garrett is involved, honestly."

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn - Her brows drew together in concern as Lin relayed what had happened. Now, Wyda’s memory is as dependable as a soggy rag, but she remembered a few things. Like how Garett was involved with Bertram...and not in a good way. It worried her to hear that the ‘small time smuggling ring’ would be interested in the man. “I’m glad you two are alright, but that’s awfully suspicious.”

Aislinn North "It is." she agreed almost immediately. "I kept thinking about it the entire trip back. Obviously there was some communication to be on the lookout for Bertram. But from who? Garrett himself or was it filtered down through the grapevine of a criminal network? Either way, it doesn't bode well for future trips into Ilsabard."

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn leans back in her chair with a sigh. “It doesn’t seem safe for Bertram to be there. I’m sure the man can fend for himself, but this whole business feels especially off. What’re you guys going to try next?”

Aislinn North a noise of agreement rose from her throat. "No, you're right. Everything about this sets off the bells in my head." In answer to Wyda's questions, she let go a deep-seated sigh. "More searching, more leads deeper into Ilsabard, I'd imagine. For now, we're regrouping." she shrugged as if to say 'what else can you do?'.  "I just keep waiting for...something. I don't know. Garrett always seems one step ahead."

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn leaned in and gave Lin a reassuring smile. She had every confidence her friend could crack the case, and it looked like she needed a good pick-me-up. “You can do it! Garrett is likely up to no good, and a trail ought to turn up soon.”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Don’t get caught unawares, though...Perhaps there’s something you could do to get him to play on your terms, rather than wait?” Wyda shrugged to herself. Easier said than done, for sure.

Aislinn North stopped pushing her cake around her plate with her fork long enough to look up and pass Wyda a grateful look. "I know. And the goal is to keep pressing, keep the pressure on until he slips up." she shook her head and after a moment, actually ate a bit of the cake. It was too good to just let sit there. "I've thought about that. It's risky. But that might be what we have to do. Get him to come to us." she nodded firmly.

Aislinn North shook her head. "In any event, it'll be interesting times." she glanced at Wyda "But, aside from that, I hear Momori's back to give us a brief today. Think any of the new recruits'll make it?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn considered, what exactly, could lure Garrett out from hiding. From what she had heard, he sounded a particularly calculating, and cautious, man. Wyda hoped Bertram and Lin wouldn’t do anything rash. “Wouldn’t hurt if it was a little less interesting, though,” she joked.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn - To Lin’s second question, Wyda could only shrug. She had seen some new faces around - Rising Lotus, for instance! But it was unpredictable to know who exactly would show up to help. “I hope so! The more the merrier...and safer. Seven hells, I’m starting to talk like a scared pup!” She chuckled to herself. “Don’t want anyone getting hurt, is all.”

Aislinn North snorted and shot the Seawolf a deadpan look. Less interesting would be nice. Boring, even. She'd take boring right about now. But as she finished the last bit of her cake, she nodded. "I hope so too. Lots of names I don't recognize on the roster. It'll be nice to put some faces to them." she paused. "Does that make us veterans now? Are we the old ones?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Ach, don’t say that Lin! We’ve still got plenty of fight left in us!” Wyda shook her head, laughing slightly. She pushed the joke further. “Well, we /are/ officers. So in some capacity, we’re officially the old maids in the group. Oughta ask the greenhorns to carry our stuff for us.”

Aislinn North a hint of laughter escaped her and she was left shaking her head. "Alright, alright, not old. Let's say...experienced. Still a right scary thought." she flashed a grin.  "Speaking of which, I should go change into something more suited to.../anything/ Momori might have in mind for today." she polished off her tea. "I'll see you there?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Expect the cold again. I’d pack an extra coat, if I were you.” Wyda grinned back at Lin, and picked up her (now) empty plate. “See you around!”

Aislinn North grimaced. "Thanks for the warning!"

[bumblepuppy]

ooooh do the goddesses from dp!!

Aight, I’m gonna put all of this under a cut!Also I’m tagging @aloujay​ because they also asked for me to do Carol!

ANNA

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (She’s not one of my favorite goddesses but I still like her!)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (I mean... I like drawing her and she looks cute in fanart, but her in-game model is.... not flattering)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (This is literally gonna be the hardest one for me for everyone)best quality: A good friend! A+worst quality: She looks less scary when she’s dead on a tree. :’)ship them with: Carol... and Becky....brotp them with: Afterlife bros with Brian?needs to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE.misc. thoughts: I wish I could say more about her, but to be honest I think she’s a character I play off of others than one I really think about on her own. Which is bad! I shouldn’t do that.

BECKY

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life  (Again!)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (And.... same for Anna here. I don’t think she’s as scary looking, but I always feel like she’s one of the most difficult characters for me to get her look down?)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Freckles uwuworst quality: Uh... her death is more memorable than anything else she does, really. :’( Even her sidequest doesn’t flesh her out as much as it does the secret club and Quint. Which is good material but she dies so early!)ship them with: Anna... and Carol, I guess? I’ll throw Quint a bone here too. He’s not as bad as other motorcycle riding boys in pacific northwestern small towns.brotp them with: I really just want her and Anna and Quint being Dumb Teens though.needs to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE.misc. thoughts: Also wish her relationship with Diane was developed more, but that’s what headcanons are for!

CAROL

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life  (how could this HAPPEN TO ME....)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (Still going by in-game models for these but she’s one of the better looking ones)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Is easy for me to project my frustrations about when I lived in a small town where I just didn’t belong onto I just love how unapologetically mean she is to York and how he seems genuinely hurt when she doesn’t want to talk about movies with him. And how deep down she is hurting too. :’)worst quality: Her room is full of literal garbage. Also, why is this a trait that so many of my faves have???ship them with: Anna! And Michael. I like a ship dynamic with her and Diane too but Diane’s a bit too old for her.... but I guess that doesn’t matter in forest diner afterlife. ;Obrotp them with: Can I say her actual bro because I have so many stupid feelings for them? Also Michael here too, because I really love the idea of them just angrily smoking outside and complaining about Harry and Thomas.needs to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE.misc. thoughts: I get really sad when I remember that Sally has a line somewhere along the lines of “Anna wasn’t friends with Carol” because they were friends?? IDK, it just makes me really feel for my lil garbage girl. I guess dropping out of high school to run a bar doesn’t give you a good reputation, but... awww.

DIANE

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (Yesss my bisexual art goddess)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (Probably has one of the best in game models. She’s.... really pretty?? I love her...)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: She has my ideal life. Like, living alone in a sweet gallery and also drinking wine and flirting mercilessly with anyone she finds attractive. Good job, Diane.worst quality: Is so... not affected by her sister’s death?? Come on now Diane, Carol’s reaction to Thomas dying was attempted murder.ship them with: I really like Diane/Olivia.... I really do...brotp them with: I like the idea of her being buddies with Thomas! Since they were probably in the same grade and she prefers to go to the Galaxy of Terror than Swery65, I want them to be sad townies sometime. :’) And I totally had like... a quarter of a fic I tried to write about it but I’m really not good at writing fics...

Also Polly! Same voice friends.needs to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE. Also Kaysen because... come on girlfriend. Don’t date dudes who wear overalls. COME ON, GIRLFRIEND.misc. thoughts: I have a super weird little connection to her, which is that I also had a parent paint a spooky painting of little me in a forest. It was painted by my mom, not my dad, but it’s still a weird thing to have in common.

Here’s a link to it!

EMILY

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (She is too good for this world....)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (I love her model so much! Especially her forehead wrinkles because that’s a feature that’s so often not given to cute girls)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: I love it when she’s abrasive. :9 And she’s just... really cute? I’d want to be friends with her.worst quality: Hey maybe don’t lie to kids about death???ship them with: I’m gonna confess that I like her a bit better with Zach than with York. :’) Also Diane.brotp them with: Because really, I like Emily and York better as friends. Friends with benefits. ;Dneeds to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE.misc. thoughts: I imagine she tells a lot of awful pun jokes and she’s gonna make a lot of hook jokes towards Thomas until he gives her an AFTERLIFE APOLOGY!!!

THOMAS

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (LOOK.... his wig is awful but he can fucking rock a dress....)hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: He’s just... so cute? He’s so shy about getting his baking complimented, awww. I’m pretty sure I shouted “AHH I LOVE HIM???” no less than ten minutes after his introduction when I was playing with Sanna because he hits a lot of my buttons.worst quality: That whole unfortunate ‘revealed as a villain at the same time as being revealed as non straight/non gender conforming/what have you’ thing. I'll admit that it doesn’t bother me as much as the title of the chapter where Emily fights him being called ‘Catfight’ does, but it’s one of those things where reading what people said about it kinda makes me feel a little dumb.ship them with: York. York like 100%. He’s very particular about his biscuits.brotp them with: Diane! And again, I really like his relationship with Carol. I just like that in the middle of running a secret BDSM club and sleeping with the same dude, they are sweet and supportive of each other. Good job!!!needs to stay away from: George. WHOOPS, TOO LATE!misc. thoughts: I won’t argue with anyone who thinks Thomas is a transwoman because, hey, I think there’s so much room for interpretation and really not enough info given to draw a clear conclusion. But also Deadprem made me realize how much I (still) liked crossdressing and I honestly love referring to cute male characters as my sons. So... unless Swery confirms anything, I don’t want to get yelled at for misgendering or anything.  :’)