#and I want to be on a really low dose

[detentiontrack]

So I’ve done some research on the new medication my psychiatrist suggested, and I think I’m going to try it. I’m worried about this manic episode becoming dangerous and leading to me going inpatient again. I’m forcing myself to try it for at least 2-3 months before stopping it again.

[trans-elrond]

.

[butiknowiloatheyou]

guys i have a confession to make

[captainkingsley]

it's fine it's totally fine that I'm having this much trouble getting my t refilled it's fine

[saintlesbian]

hm. having a mini gender crisis in the middle of my shift again

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

[arb0k]

doctor wanted to try switching my narcolepsy* medication (because his personal policy is to require in-person appointments every three months for adderall due to ~abuse potential~) and wow doing the adderall withdrawal while taking a different stimulant is bizarre. stopping abruptly basically left me unconscious for a few days before but now i'm like. awake but my brain is broken. distinct sensation of insomnia (exhausted body wants to sleep but brain physically won't let it) all day for three days

[grymmdark]

i know someone who has severe anxiety which causes the things they get anxious about to happen.

like they're so anxious about getting good grades that they second guess everything they do and are a perfectionist, meaning they give the wrong answers and dont get their work done.

they're a such an over-the-top apologetic people pleaser that most people dislike them because they get so frustrated with how much they apologize for literally everything and try to justify their every action.

it'd be funny if it wasnt incredibly messed up how much of a self-causing problem their anxiety is

[vampyroteuthid]

queens at planned parenthood got me mail order birth control 🙏🏻

[capitainecorbeau]

I have met a new psychiatrist and so far, the number of those that didn't fucking suck is still zero :)))))))

[equalperson]

not PD-related but I think I'm gonna get into DXM. I don't know, I've been totally sober for almost 18 years and I'm sorta sick of it!

I know you're not "supposed to" use drugs to cope with emotional problems, but I'd be lying if I said I actually cared. that's narcissism-related, I guess.

My grandiosity gives Me a really strong, constant sense of "it wouldn't happen to Me." I wouldn't get hurt. I wouldn't be mistreated. I wouldn't get traumatized. I wouldn't get addicted. I wouldn't overdose. so on and so forth.

of course, I plan on taking precautions (120mgs only! first plateau!), but I just feel totally immune to ever becoming addicted to anything, even though I logically understand that addiction can happen to anyone, no matter how mindful they are.

that aside, like I said, I'm just tired of being sober 24/7. I feel and go through so many bad things, it'd be nice to get some proverbial off days from it all.

I would try alcohol, but I'm under 21. there's easily accessible alcohol in the house, but I don't think I could drink enough to get drunk without it being obvious that I took some.

I sort of want to probe the subject of 18-year-olds drinking with My mom, see if she'd willingly give Me some. "oh it's so weird that 18-year-olds can't drink. not much cool comes with turning 18," something coy like that.

I'd also absolutely want to try xanax--both recreationally and for My actual anxiety--but I have no easy access to that. My mom was prescribed it a few years ago, but I don't know where she stores it or if she even has any more.

My neighborhood has a local drug dealer (multiple, I think?), but I don't know if his products are safe or not. I'd only really feel safe buying from someone if I knew someone else who bought from them as well.

with that in mind, delsym is the only recreational drug I can access without it being too suspicious.

I also have benadryl, but I think it'd be obvious that I was using it to trip since, 1), I don't usually need it, and 2), it comes on those little sheets, which would make it obvious whenever I used them. plus, I've heard benadryl trips are pretty scary. I already have paranoid delusions, I really don't need "the hat man" on top of that.

since the DXM I have is liquid, I think it would be less obvious when I used it, especially since nobody else really uses it.

not only that, but I actually do have a cough. I would say it's because of My asthma, but it's worse than what I used to deal with and post-covid, so I'm pretty sure that it's actually long covid.

regardless, I could easily lie and say that I'd been taking it for My cough. I'd just have to hope that the "teen medicine abuse" warning on the side wouldn't give her the "wrong" idea.

of course, I don't even know if I'd like it or want to do it again, so I may not even have to go through all that. but if I do, at least I have an excuse. thank you, chronic respiratory diseases!!

[thegempage]

you ever get so bored at work you come to a minor gender conclusion that nevertheless is a little shocking

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Working incredibly hard to internalize the accurate idea of testosterone not making me a completely different person - I'd still be making the same art, still be taking pics of every sunset I see, still caring for my bugs and plants

[fallenrain40]

my blood sugar has been high all day so far i do not feel good :(

[crest-of-gautier]

IM SQUINTING SO HARD

YOU DONT EVEN KNOW !!!!!!

[cerbreus]

All those "guides" for trans dudes and forums all saying not to bother dyeing ur peach fuzz bc everyone can tell and it won't look good. No, I don't think people can tell and it does look p good! Especially if u have a lot of peach fuzz. And if ur worried about dyeing ur face (unavoidable) just make a baking soda + dandruff shampoo paste n let it sit on ur face for a bit after to get rid of the stains and bing bang boom visible facial hair and +10000 serotonin from gender euphoria