#and I want YOU to take your sweet time writing more plot that just boggles me further

[oneknightlight]

Realizing the reason that content like UTDR is like crack to me is because Toby Fox has written a story that my brain’s pattern recognition literally cannot crack and that challenge is diabolically addicting

[ren-c-leyn]

Gingerbread! Beloved!

It's Storytell-me-many-facts-about neat-stuff-in-your-wips-er Saturday so please indulge and educate me on those so I can make informed and excited comments on your posts later. Thanks.

It's my dear Sleepy-friend! Good to see you again, thank you for stopping in. Here's some tea to sip on while I answer. It's a long ramble ^^

I have several WIPs going on at any given moment, and trying to talk about all of them in their full, far more complicated than I ever intended, detail would take us both a great deal of time so I shall narrow it down to my two most active projects at the moment.

The most active project is the one I'm posting right here to Tumblr, The Shackles of Time. It's turning 1 year old on either the 20th or 21st of this month. Still boggles my mind that I've been working on it so long.

The basics of it is that it's a high fantasy story set in a very ancient world that has seen the rise and fall of several civilizations. It has dozens of magic types, dragons who have such strong innate magic that their very presence changes the landscape around them, spirits that thrive in places with strong magic, floating islands, the ruins of countless civilizations, dozens of different species many of which have variations, Shadowed Gates which have been used by fiends and monsters to invade the world multiple times, a pantheon of Gods that have basically been exiled from the world by mortals because of an event called The Mad War in which the Mad God waged a war on humanity.

The story mostly follows the newest team of adventurers in a famous adventuring guild called The Dawn Isle Guild (named after the floating island it was built under.) These would be the main characters - Merle, Arlen, his familiar Cherrenth, and Night, and their quest to become legendary heroes. Each one has their own reasons for this goal - Merle wants a special kind of vengeance on a corrupt guild and to achieve true honor and glory. Arlen wants to actually experience life instead of rotting away in the moon elf towers. Cherrenth just wants to keep Arlen from dying and to fulfill the contract they made. And Night, despite probably being the most intimidating of the trio, really just wants to save people.

I have also just finished writing the first chapter of a second team that the story will be following as well made up of more veteran members of the guild - Drusilla, her familiar (whose name eludes me at this moment, I'm so sorry buddy), Lucien, and Azalea. They won't be the main focus, but they will be exploring different aspects of the world and some plot stuff that came up while I was playing with the original trio.

There's also tons of side characters, from legends who fought in The Mad War and even actually fought The Mad God head on, to villagers who need quests done, to Bramble the lovely little quest keeper for the guild, Glenn and Zephyr who are teaching the new kids the ropes of adventuring life and guild rules, Emlyn the dwarven blacksmith, and so many more, and I love them all.

I'm particularly please with the character dynamics in The Shackles of Time. The way the characters interact with each other really gives the guild this very close found-family feeling. The implied histories and inside jokes really make them feel like they've known each other for a long time too. Though the tension and chaos that's slowly rising in the world also brings out the old griefs and fears in those who experienced it and this desire to protect the young ones. It's very sweet and a little bitter, just the way I like it ^^

My second most active project at the moment is Dream's favorite: Forgotten Gods. I'm currently working on draft two of it, between mad dashes of writing Shackles of Time.

The basics of it is it's a high/slightly dark fantasy world where hundreds, if not thousands, of Gods are very much real and very invested in mortal's lives, be it helping raise a little village into a paradise for their favorite mortals or just make one poor dude's life miserable forever just for the fun of it. There's monsters, ruins, like lakes and black oceans, cute fluffy rainbow creatures and dark shadow monsters, basically if you can imagine it there's probably a God who got bored and made it. Magic is 100% dependent on the Gods because it's divine energy and the only ones who can cast spells are Gods' champions.

The main characters of the story are two champions and an elf on a mission to find himself who cross paths during very unlikely circumstances. Which annoys Silver at first, but her cat, Thyme loves it.

The first one you meet is Silver, the grumpy, anti-social forest hermit who ran away from her old village to start a new life. She doesn't know why these people keep coming to her abandoned tower to talk to her, but the law of her first God demands she gives them tea before kicking them out so she entertains them. She's the champion of a different God who forgot he was a God at first, he's been having a rough several hundred years and is just happy to have someone to talk to even if she isn't very sociable.

The second one is Reuven, an elf monster hunter from the Great Southern Forests. He's tall, wears scales, furs, and armor made of a mix of metal and bone, people think he's scary because of it and the fact he's quiet, but he's really a nice guy who enjoys learning about other people and traveling around to various places. If people have a monster problem, he'll do his best to help them even if they can't offer him a fair trade for his services. He's the first one to find Silver and she's weird and quiet like him, so he likes hanging out with her.

The last of our merry little disaster trio is Kitan, a champion of a very popular Sun Goddess from the coastal region he grew up in. He's a cat-boy, fluffy tail and ears and all. His super friendly and talkative, but suffers a great deal of self-doubts and insecurities. He's mostly traveling to try and prove to himself that he can be a good champion, but the problem is is he doesn't really have the skills to be a good adventurer, which is how he finds himself lost in the forest where Silver and Reuven are and almost dies, gets scared of Reuven, literally runs face-first into Silver's door, and somehow makes friends with both of them. He's a mess, but I love him. <3

The story itself is kind of hard to explain, but the basics are that it follows the lives of these three after they cross paths and accidentally set some things in motion that there was no way for them to possibly know was going to happen before it did. There's a village that's had an unusual amount of monster activity, old Gods that have held grudges for centuries, and some interpersonal drama, pasts coming back to bite characters (and their Gods) in the butts, mysteries to solve and power of friendship stuff, and also some magic-related triumphs and failures.

I'm also playing around with some ideas

I think that's the basics of everything. If you have more questions about anything specifically, Sleepy-friend, feel free to ask. @writingonesdreams has asked a lot about both of them, so I might already have some pre-written rambles about various aspects of these two projects I can toss you. If not, then I'll write out new rambles for you that I'll tag our favorite enabler in so you both have something new to read. ^^

Thanks for stopping in~! I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Oh my god i just found you're writing and I'm obssessed. First of all, I'm in love with your edgy!karl series. Seriously, it's amazing. Second of all, I had a little idea that you can take as a request if you'd like. I was thinking edgy!dream/clay but with a shy innocent girl. And a hint of some fear play kink? Like she's all cute and he's so edgy shes scared and intimidated by him when they meet and it turns him on knowing shes both scared of him AND attracted to him at the same time so he uses it against her(consensually of course)

can we call him alt!dream? ;) also,,, i rly like this request...

𝐉𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒. ♘ 𝐚𝐥𝐭!𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 (𝟏𝟖+)

pairing: alt!Dreamwastaken x fm!reader

warnings: smut (18+), fighting, smoking, language, oral (fm. receiving), fear play, asphyxiation, sight size kink & praise, dominance

The movie theatre dimmed, the beginning credits of the film reeling as a montage of a city played in the background. You settled back in your seat, accepting the fact that you had been stood up, determined not to let it ruin the movie you had already paid for. That’s right; instead of treating yourself to a new pair of shoes or a set of notebooks, you agreed to meet up with a sleazy guy from class after weeks of him pleading.

You sighed slightly, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you realized you hadn’t even wanted to see the film and had only agreed because he suggested it. Someone moved into a seat near you, his legs stretching as he slumped down, purely due to his towering height. You stiffened, crossing your legs to inch away from him at the sight of his various tattoos peeking out from beneath his dark corduroy jacket.

He carded a hand through his dirty blond hair, revealing an eyebrow ring as he swept his bangs off his forehead momentarily. You tore your eyes from him as you noticed the cigarette balanced behind his ear. Even with the seat between the two, you could smell the smoke on his clothes mixing with the faintest hint of vanilla.

You folded your hands in your lap as you noticed him give you a once over. He reached towards you, making you flinch slightly before you realized he was holding out his bag of candy to you. “Want a jellybean? You look upset,” he motioned, voice low as he whispered.

You shook your head quickly, muttering a thank you and playing with your fingers. He shrugged, watching you for a second more before turning back to the movie. He tucked his arm behind his head, chewing on his lip as if debating whether he should keep talking to you or just let you be. You weren’t really sure which outcome you preferred.

On one hand, he fit every one of your guilty pleasure fantasies, while on the other, he terrified the hell out of you. It was more of an intimidating feeling, residing in the way each of his movements caught your attention and the way you could barely keep your eyes off his grungy appearance. Your mind drifted from the plot of the movie and towards the images of his tattooed hands wrapping around your throat and giving you a reason to be scared.

“You here alone?” He asked, popping another jellybean in his mouth. The action made you think of your grandpa waning himself off of tobacco when you were younger. Those jellybeans were blue and a flavor of comfort for you now, while the man before you seemed to only fish for the red ones.

You nodded hesitantly. “I got stood up,” you mumbled, making him shake his softly. “What about you? Are you here alone?” You wondered where you had gathered the courage to talk to him, his demeanor making you want to run, but his voice was a symphony to your ears in the darkness of the movie house, drawing you closer with each of his lulling words.

He wet his lips. “So far,” he answered. He stuck out his large hand for you to shake, his skin was coarse against yours as his finger reached to brush against your wrist. “I’m Clay,” he added, his name rolling into your mind and nestling itself into your memory just due to the tone of his voice. After you gave him your name his mouth curled into a soft smirk. “It’s nice to meet you,” he remarked. You blushed for an unknown reason, thankful for the darkness to mask your emotions.

Someone entered the theatre, marching up to Clay and leaning down to his ear. “Dream, we have to go now,” the guy whispered into his ear, just loud enough that you could hear him. Clay's face twisted into an annoyed expression while the guy turned to leave.

Clay straightened his jacket on his shoulders. “Not to seem to forward, but can I get your number?” He queried. You raised your eyebrows at him, basking in the fact that despite his friend’s agitation, Clay was taking his sweet time making his move on you.

As if you were acting on instinct, you grabbed a pen from your bag as he held his hand out to you again. You found a bare spot on his skin and wrote your number as clearly as you could manage with your shaking hands at the way his eyes watched you alluringly. Without thinking, you blew on the ink, trying to keep it from smearing. You froze, realizing what you were doing as he bit back a smirk.

He was completely eating up your awkwardness.

He reluctantly took his hand back, being pulled up by his friend. “I’ll call you,” he whispered on his way out, heat rushing to your ears.

The movie ended shortly after he left, sending you back out onto the city streets and away from your cocoon where you had forgotten about the sleazy classmate and let thoughts of Clay weasel their way into your nerves. As you stepped through the doors, your phone began to ring, kick-starting your heart at the thought of it being Clay. Instead, it was a friend of yours asking how your date had gone. You tucked the phone between your ear and shoulder as you pulled a piece of gum out of your purse.

Her ramblings went deaf on your ears as a car violently pulled up to an alleyway a block from you. You squinted as you moved closer, your apartment being in that direction anyway. A few men got from the car and that’s when Clay stepped into view from behind one of the buildings, flicking his cigarette to the ground and snubbing it out with the toe of his heavy boots as he watched them get out. You could see your number still written on his hand, mixing with his tattoos.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking tiredly at the group of men that had come from the car as his friends began to shout at them. Clay chewed on his lip, looking around and away from the conversation before his gaze met yours. His eyes widened slightly before he turned back, an attempt to keep the attention away from you.

One of the car members grabbed for Clay’s jacket, yanking him closer as if to get him to pay mind to the man talking. Clay sent him a cocky grin, towering over him. With his normal height and his boots, he had at least a foot on the guy. One of Clay’s friends separated the two, breaking the groups into a brawl while shouting was accompanied with fists and elbow jabs.

You turned, walking in another direction as briskly as you could without bringing attention to yourself and the group of boys in the alleyway. Little did you know, Clay was watching you leave and kicking himself for it.

The next day, your mind was racing with Clay’s whereabouts. He seemed like he had his opponents under control, but what if one of them had brought a knife or another weapon? It wasn’t unusual for boys in the city to butt heads like they were, but the fact that you’d let one nearly pick you up the night before was boggling.

You gripped the strap of your bag as you crossed the street, stepping onto the sidewalk and adjusting your skirt. You kept your head down as you passed various people coming and going from their apartments before your ears picked up on a familiar voice. You picked your eyes up, spotting Clay and a small group of guys walking together. He popped a jellybean in his mouth after chiming into their conversation.

You held your breath as they neared you and that’s when you noticed his bruised face and scraped knuckles. Your number was faded on his skin, but still apparent on the back of his hand. He smiled at you, breaking off from his group and walking backward to match your pace. You bit back a smile. “Glad to see you’re okay,” you mumbled, barely able to make eye contact with him. His friends called out for him and he waved them off, walking in line with you.

He chuckled lightly. “Yeah, sorry. I would have called last night but…” he made a gesture to his torso as he trailed off. “I broke a rib. I didn’t really… I don’t.” He laughed sheepishly as you raised your eyebrows. “I’m fine. It’s good,” he brushed.

You picked your gaze off the pavement finally, focusing on his discolored black eye and busted lip. He didn’t seem to be too hurt, but he wore his wounds well. “You’re not scared of me, are you?” He asked, voice changing slightly. You drew in a sharp breath, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before it could get further knotted in the wind. A few people narrowed their eyes at the two of you and you wondered how you looked together. What kind of juxtaposition it was; his tall, dark figure looking like death in Doc Martens while you barely passed his shoulder in height with your less intimidating color scheme.

You debated how to answer him. Your eyes flickered to his dangly earring; a silver ankh. He ate another jellybean. “I was at first. I’m still kind of weary of you, I guess,” you muttered, making a smile bite into his features.

Clay ran his fingers through his hair, which you were beginning to believe was a habit when he was coming up with what to say. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

You shook your head. A blush crept to your cheeks. “No, I kind of like it,” you mumbled, barely audible enough for him to hear. His hand slipped into yours and you could feel your chest tighten.

“You like being scared of me?” His voice was dripping with allure, making you bite your tongue in a flushed embarrassment. “You just keep getting better and better,” he teased, making your ears burn.

You weren’t sure how you ended up there, but God, were you thankful for Clay’s hands as they kneaded your ass, his lips pressing against yours. He ground his hips against yours, moaning into your mouth as your nails sank into his tattooed skin. His tongue pressed past your lips, his large hand moving to fist in the sheets beside you before dragging up your shirt to grip your breast.

You breathlessly moaned as he broke your kiss, lips trailing down your body as he sat back on his knees, dragging your underwear off as your shirt was also discarded to the floor. He looped his arms around your thighs, bringing you closer to his mouth as his concentrated stare shifted to your eyes before he buried himself between your legs, your body tensing as a groan ripped through your body. Your fingers carded through his soft blond hair, tugging slightly in appraisal as he pulled away from you.

Clay looked up at you again, slowly pressing one of his long fingers into you, you moaned his name, reaching one of your hands up to grip at the headboard above you. “Does that feel good, sweetheart?” He asked, voice deep with lust as his breath fanned against your wet core. He pushed another finger into you as you nodded. He pressed his lips to your thigh. “I can’t believe you’re scared of me,” he mocked, making you whimper as his fingers pulsed against your sweet spot.

He pressed his lips to your core again, tongue teasing at your nerves as you caught your lips between your teeth. You moved your knee further up his arm for a better angle, driving him deeper. He pulled away, his fingers speeding up. “So needy,” he chuckled, the sound enough to send you over the edge if you really thought about it.

“Clay, please. I want you,” you whined softly, your thighs threatening to close around his head. His eyes sparkled devilishly, leaning away from you before tugging your legs towards him. He pushed his fingers into your mouth, jaw tensing as you moaned around him.

He grabbed your hips, flipping your body and pushing your shoulders into the mattress. You heard him unbuckling his belt and your fingers knitted into the sheets beneath you. He pulled you back by the shoulders, hand moving to hold onto your neck. “Maybe I should give you something to be scared of,” he chided, making a shiver run up your spine as he pushed your thighs apart driving himself up into you. You were sure you would tear in half at the sheer size of him, but you bit back your whimpers at the pleasuring pain.

One of your hands moved to grip onto his arm as he thrust into you, his teeth threatening to dig into your shoulder as you moaned. His other hand moved to tease at your nerves, his determination to summon your orgasm sending your head reeling. You tilted back your head, resting against his shoulder as his hand tightened around your throat.

He let go of you, dipping you against the mattress again as his fist knotted in your hair. He steadied himself, leaning on one of his arms beside your head. Your hand wrapped around his wrist as he thrusted into you at an ungodly pace, lips hovering beside your ear as he grunted your name and how good you felt.

You pushed your hips up against him turning your head enough that he pressed his lips against yours, the vibrations from his moans sending heat throughout your body. Clay’s tongue slipped into your mouth roughly, tasting your whimpers and lust. His teeth dragged against your lip as you felt him throb inside of you.

He pushed your shoulder back, moving you on your side as your leg curled around. At the new angle, he could drive himself deeper into you; dark green eyes focused on yours as his warmed breath cascaded over your chest. His hand moved to your jaw, running his thumb against your burning lips as his sights were almost hungrily looking upon you. Your breathing became shallow as he smirked at you, moving his hand to your throat again.

He leaned down, slowing his pace to drag in and out of you as his lips were close to your ear. He applied pressure, your breath hitching in your throat. “So pretty. Good girl, taking me so well,” he praised, making you moan as he kissed you again before speeding up his thrusts. You moaned out his name again, finishing as your eyes fluttered shut. He chuckled darkly, pounding into you harder. “Fuck,” he hissed, lips pressing to the skin behind your ears, digging his face into your hair as he chased his high.

He exhaled, breath blanketing your skin before he kissed your shoulder, cheek, and finally your lips in a quiet appraisal. You pulled him into the spot beside you. He ran his fingers through his hair as you curled against his side, his other hand brushing softly against your arm. You knotted your fingers with his, brushing your thumb against where your faded number rested. “Didn’t you just break a rib?” You asked, finally noticing the slide bruising on his side.

Clay chuckled softly. “Yeah, I think I was running on adrenaline until a second ago,” he groaned.

Dream Tag List: (to join, follow this link :))

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake

[thetypedwriter]

Gideon the Ninth Book Review

Gideon the Ninth Book Review by Tamsyn Muir 

It would be only a slight hyperbole to say that a million people have either recommended this book to me or have told me to read it. I’ve heard for years now that this book is incredible and extremely well written and beloved by many. So, if that’s the case why did I wait so long to read it?

I don’t have a good answer. Sometimes a book is on your radar, but either the time isn’t right, other books take priority, or in my case, it’s adult fiction and I held slight trepidation that I wouldn’t love it as much as everyone else in the world seemed to. 

Thank goodness, that didn’t end up being the case and I’ll get into why in a moment. 

First, Gideon the Ninth has the most amazing descriptive sentence belonging on any front cover of any book ever. 

I shall put it here for prosperity and awe: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. 

Now, I don’t know who you are Mr. Stross, but that has to be the best sentence written in the English language since its conception. If that isn’t enough intrigue for you to crack open the novel then I truly don’t know what is or what it would take. 

That being said, Mr. Stross wasn’t entirely accurate, but that’ll be clear soon enough. 

The novel surrounds our main protagonist, Gideon Nav, or, known as Gideon the Ninth, the primary cavalier to the Ninth House necromancer. Essentially, this world takes place in a different solar system with its own sun star known as Dominicus as well as nine planets also known as the Nine Houses. 

Each House has a specific specialty for what is known for, and as summarized helpfully, but also overwhelmingly, at the beginning of the novel, the Ninth House is also known as the keepers of the Locked Tomb, House of the Sewn Tongue, and home to the Black Vestals. 

This meant nothing to me at the beginning and quite truthfully, I still struggled to remember throughout the novel who belonged to the Third House, or the Fifth and what that quite meant, as once again, each House has a reputation and expected skill set that precedes them. 

Not to say that it was poorly written because it wasn’t. Muir just has a lot of characters with specific titles and while she actually does quite a good job of categorizing them and helpfully reminding you who is who, I still struggled with just the sheer amount of information and people. 

Normally, this would be a massive criticism, like it was with the cast of characters in Lore but in this case it’s not Muir’s fault. She’s giving me all the information necessary to understand. It was just my brain that struggled trying to recognize and categorize everyone. If anything, I’m excited to re-read Gideon the Ninth and have it sink in like a second skin eventually. 

Having this large cast of characters, the book revolves around each of the Nine Houses (except for the First House) sending their best necromancer, a wielder of both thanergy (death energy) and thalergy (life energy) in the form of a House Adept, someone who is able to wield this kind of energy either in bone magic, flesh magic, or spirit magic. 

In accompaniment, each Necromancer Adept has a primary Cavalier, a trained fighter that is both protector, companion, and often, necessary energy suppliers to their Adept in both horrendous and acceptable ways. 

The goal of these pairs, having been sent to the First planet, is to become a Lyctor, an immortal servant to the Undying Emperor. The catch is that once the Necromancers and their Cavaliers arrive on the First, the shuttle departs and they are trapped in an abandoned, dilapidated, once-regal and great mansion that boasts hundreds of floors, secret doors, and mystery upon mystery. 

Each pair expects a streamlined process to Lyctorhood once they arrive, a methodical procedure, perhaps some training, and ultimately a test. What they don’t expect is a mellow man by the name of Teacher that claims to know nothing about the process himself, but is the overseer of the First. 

What follows is a mind-boggling search to become a Lyctor and unravel the mysteries of the haunted palace. What the pairs don’t expect is the death of their own, gruesome murders at the hand of someone in their very own positions and an evil danger beyond any of their imagination lurking in the mansion. 

This novel was a great concoction of mystery, action, interpersonal relationships, character growth, dazzling descriptions, and world building. 

The world of Dominicus and the Nine Houses is expansive and rich, something that I haven’t been able to sink my teeth into, and not for lack of trying, but because it is so deep and so layered that I simply need to take several bites to get it all down.

The mystery is fulfilling and strangely, to me at least, reminiscent of a game called Danganronpa. If you know what that is, and even if you don’t, it centers around the idea of a murder mystery, but where the killer is one of your own and the mystery is trying to figure out not ony the who, but the why of what they are doing, amongst a slew of other deadly riddles.

Gideon the Ninth is the same. As people continue to get picked off and brutally murdered, as a reader you find yourself trying to puzzle out not only who, but why someone would commit such atrocities and the motivation behind it. 

The plot itself of Gideon the Ninth was extremely satisfying and alluring. There were times where I personally found that novel bogged down with excessive description, but it was usually broken up with Gideon’s personal brand of crass humor, a very much needed breather with the expansive exposition, that, while extremely well done, well researched, and well written, did get a tad boring from time to time for me personally, even if it allowed for clear imagery as well as adding to already well formed world building. 

In addition to the plot, all of the characters were well done and as fleshed out as they could be considering the amount of characters involved. First, even though this is set in a fantasy sci-fi setting, each of the characters seemed realistic and like they could potentially be real people. 

A large criticism of books I often have, especially in YA, is that the characters often come across like caricatures, and not real flesh and blood humans with both positive and negative qualities. 

Each character, some developed more than others, have both flaws and strengths, even the main characters, which I highly appreciated. Not only does it make the story more real and palatable, but it also is just more interesting to read about as it’s actually based in humanity and the nature of human beings rather than some perfect carbon copy of one. 

Gideon as a narrator was hilarious. She was often crass, blunt, horny, humorous and ignorant. But on the other hand, she was also an extremely talented fighter, actually very sweet deep down, forgiving, and loving. 

This mix in a main character was a welcome one in addition to making Gideon feel like a real person, despite all the bone magic and necromancy, and often her thought process and dialogue made me laugh out loud. 

Another main character, Harrowhark Nonagesimus (What a name!) is Gideon’s Necromancer and main companion. She’s bitter, rude, spiteful, and ruthless. She’s also hardworking, intelligent, and stubborn. 

If you’re catching the pattern here, Muir isn’t just writing archetypes and passing them off as characters. She’s writing complex and nuanced personalities that are intriguing and interesting and well developed. 

I could get into the other plethora of characters like Camila, Dulcinea, Palamedes, Magnus, Judith and so on, but this review would be a thousand pages long so I’ll just settle for saying that every character was well done and lovingly crafted and not one of them, even the annoying ones, were characters that I hated. 

One important thing to note was Muir’s writing itself. It was incredible. Such descriptions! Such characterization! Such detail! Such vocabulary! I was supremely impressed with her writing as a whole and often found myself having to look up words that I had never heard of in my life (always a welcome change of pace). I was blown away by her sheet talent and creativity. 

The last two things I have to note might get me in trouble. 

One, the ending for me was...bittersweet. For fear of spoiling someone, I won’t get into details, but I found it both lacking and simultaneously making absolute sense. I wanted both more and yet, found that everything was just enough. It’s hard to put into words, but if you know, you know. 

I do have a slightly sinking feeling though that the ending twist will somehow be undone in the sequel. I don’t know if this is true (although I will eventually find out), and I can’t decide if I’m going to be happy or dismayed by it. 

Such conflicting feelings are in of itself homage to Muir’s skill as a writer and the complexities of her tale. 

Lastly, the one aspect that might get me into the stickiest of predicaments: Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship. I don’t know if I like it or not. On the one hand, I absolutely love it. It's a hate-to-love slow burn, which really is the only way an OTP makes its way into my heart. I love that they’re so different and yet so compatible, one flesh and one blood and all that other nonsense. 

They see each other as equals, as adversaries, and I adore that dynamic in any pairing. I also love the F/F representation of some badass women and that they’re not traditionally attractive and beautiful. 

One of my favorite lines came from the end of the book where Gideon describes Harrowhark’s face as, “bitter” and “hateful”. I just love when characters aren’t conventionally gorgeous and yet beautiful in the eyes of the beholder and all that jazz. 

Now. Onto the problems. 

Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship is kinda...toxic? It grows into something less so, but it definitely starts off that way. I really hate imbalances of power of any kind and Harrowhark definitely has power over Gideon, power that she creully abuses. I asked myself: if Harrowhark was a man and treated Gideon so abysmally for years, and then Gideon eventually forgave him and loved him despite everything, would I think differently?

And the answer is yes, yes I would. 

Is that fair? Probably not. But I can’t help but think how the dynamics change with the two of them being women, and how in my opinion, I think more is forgiven of Harrowhark because of it, even when it’s not deserved. 

Now, Harrowhark is a complex character and has traumas of her own, but I just can’t help but think of all the things she did to Gideon and the things she took away from her and forced her to do and then think of them together and it’s...not great. 

Overall, my feelings on their relationship are complicated (which is a repeated pattern when it comes to Muir’s writing) and I don’t mind that it’s complicated, it makes it interesting, but I also would be bereft to mention it here. I look forward to seeing how it develops and if my feelings change and grow on the matter as well. 

In total, Gideon the Ninth is a fantastic read. It has everything you want inlaid with characters who not only push the plot along, but incentivize you to read more. It has complicated issues and complicated characters, but that means it’s nuanced and complex and juicy enough to bite into. 

Don’t do what I did and wait years for this novel. If you need a good read, you don’t need to look any further and then let yourself be swept along for the necromantic ride. 

Recommendation: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. I mean. Come on people, what more can you ask for?

Score: 8/10 

[cybernaght]

Lost Tomb Reboot aka Reunion: The Sound of Providence Season 2

I swear I wasn’t actually planning to write this thing, instead just opting for random picture spams of the season, starting with every time this show got Zhu Yilong’s Wu Xie wet, because that was a trend I had not expected and kind of lived for.

All that will still happen eventually, but here’s also my five cents on the season, because it is very very important for you to know just how worthy of love it is. 

You see, Season 1 was silly and fun, and definitely, undeniably, enjoyable. 

Then Season 2 swooped in, and completely won my heart. I cannot even express how much I adored it. Everything about this show is extremely extra in the best possible way; it is likely to have been the most charmingly over the top thing I have ever seen.

(Vague spoilers for : specific monsters, narratively significant moments, fate of the certain characters, including the protagonist.)

Some of it comes from the pace, which speeds up dramatically early in the season, and only slows down marginally to allow characters some breathing room. It’s not just gripping because it makes you want to hit play on the next episode, it also keeps you engaged because you can’t wait to see how the next wild set of events may be resolved and then topped. At about episode ten I was questioning how they could possibly produce a sense of further escalation. At episode twenty, I was wondering if anything can top dramatic impact of whatever was occurring only two thirds of the way through the season. 

I need not have worried: every single incredible character moment, every mind-boggling turn of the plot, every single bizarre threat would be blown out of water by the next one. 

Partly, this seemingly has to do with the writers attempts to ground the material. I am not sure what the novel contained, but I can discern that it was something along the lines of ghosts, ghouls and various supernatural circumstance. But when you are told  “this is a curse”, your reaction is naturally to go, “ah okay, so curses are a thing, and this is one of them, gotcha”. When you are told, “this is a heavy metal poisoning combined with a neurotoxin affecting the victim’s central nervous system and making them violently hallucinate”, your reaction is to question whether this is how metals, toxins, poisons, or, indeed, central nervous systems work in any version of reality. 

The show does this a lot. From human shaped swarms of killer moths, to flying brain-penetrating eels, to probably my favourite monster of the moment: the murder clams.

Seriously, I cannot stress enough that this show has murder clams. They move with their clam mussels. They jump with their clam shells. They will murder you in cold blood. 

There are ancient “laser corridor” style set-ups, there are shapes made out of fog recording its memory, there are group hallucinations generated by the sound of thunder, there are Mission Impossible style full face masks. There is a character who walked off a gun wound and sarin gas poisoning in order to die in the arms of his lover who looks like his dead sister. And by “looks like” I mean, “played by the same actress”. 

There is a whole character of Doctor Churros, who saves our hero from imminent death by washing his lungs with oil. 

This, I suppose, ultimately, is how The Lost Tomb Reboot (Season 2 in particular) lures you in. It turns what I saw as the show’s fault in season 1 into its biggest strength by establishing the world in which nothing is too outlandish and everything is possible. It so thoroughly breaks your expectations barometer, you grow to willingly accept whatever is thrown at you. 

The most beautiful thing about all of it, is that the fun and games and moments of barely controlled hysteria do not lower the stakes whatsoever. Moreover, somehow this show makes me believe that it could just about do something as irrevocable as, perhaps, killing off the protagonist 

You know how you can watch, say, a super hero film, and then the “all is lost” moment happens, and you kind of have to struggle to care because you know that they will pull through. It’s curious to see how that happens, but you don’t doubt for even second that it will. Well, when that moment arrived here, I found myself between ugly sobbing, and going into speculation overdrive to try and figure out how the Reboot would deal with that. By then I have seen that show be an high octave action movie, a supernatural mystery, a horror thriller, a buddy comedy and a spy flick: it was not a massive stretch to imagine it turning into a revenge tragedy.

Wu Xie dying had been building up since episode one, so you had hours and hours and oh-so-many hours to brace for it, and when the tragedy does not strike, the relief is visceral. 

Despite all the moments of hilarity (whether intended or otherwise), despite the chaotic turns of the plot, despite how utterly off the charts this show is tonally, when it matters, the narrative is pulled together in a way which not only makes complete sense within the world of the series, but is meticulously set-up, satisfying resolved, and delivers lovely emotional impact. Considering that the moral of the story is a very common “live in the moment”, paired up with “greed is bad”, it was surprising how much resonance its delivery actually created. 

Ultimately, however, this show is about found family, and, more specifically, about Wu Xie’s ability to create this family for himself and for every single member of it. He starts as one of the trio, and ends as one of a large group of old allies, new friends, and people he has graced with so much kindness that they follow him until the bitter end. 

Lost Tomb Reboot ensures that you get to know them all, and it’s pretty damn hard to not love this misfit group of adventurers in its entirety. 

(The only thing I could say is that I wish the series spent more time making sure the viewer knows and likes Zhang Qiling, but it seemingly had little purpose for him apart form sweeping in as an avenging angel every now and then. I get that he is a well established character in the series, and that his whole thing is being deadly and enigmatic, but considering that you got to know the other two legs of the famous Triangle so well, it’s a shame that this one was reserved to mostly being Xiao Ge Ex Machina. It would have been nice to know what he was about apart from “really damn cool”.)

Bai Haotian remained my favourite character. She is cute, sweet, romantic, and, for the lack of a better word, “girly”. She is not shy about her crush on Wu Xie, and is prepared to do a lot of reckless, dangerous things for him. None of the above undermine her intelligence, cunningness and authority. Xiao Bai is a young woman in a position of power, and she absolutely knows how to handle herself; for every time she is a damsel in distress, she gets to be the rescuer. For every time she puts herself in needless danger, she learns to collect herself and plan ahead. For every time she is bossed around, she turns and takes charge. Her journey is not the centred around getting the guy, but around discovering her self-assertion; she finds her place within his team not by being a romantic interest, but through her personal strengths. 

My absolutely favourite moment for her came when an antagonist used her affection for Wu Xie to get an upper hand on her, and she gets restrained, knife to her throat. Xiao Bai swivels away, knocks the attacker out and goes to town kicking him, to a great astonishment of this team, as she states that liking someone does not make her weak. 

And it doesn’t. Being in love has nothing to do with weakness or strength. Being a young, and excitable, and a woman does not equate to weakness either.

I’m not saying that this show is a feminist manifesto, because it is definitely not that. Every other prominent female character suffers a pitiful fate in service of creating motivation for the men of the story. But it does spend a lot of time making sure you, the viewer, know its heroes well enough to mentally befriend them. And if this means giving the female lead complexity, I cannot possibly be mad at that. 

So, this was it. This was the Lost Tomb Reboot. It brought me a ridiculous amount of joy and I will miss it a lot. 

And yes, the picture spams will be 100% an excuse to rewatch at least some of it. 

PS. Said spams miiiiight be gif based if I figure out a way to colour correct the damn things. 

[redblackstripes]

So I don’t usually feel the need to write out my thoughts about k dramas but Start Up has been...something hahaha. Honestly really enjoyed the premise of the show and how the characters were for the first 9 episodes? Were there plot holes? Yes for sure, but hey, it’s very hard to find a drama with no holes whatsoever so I was just going along with it. And I really liked the characters! But things kinda changed after that.

What the writers should have done - kept the drama about start ups, made it one about the sisters’ relationship, show the difficulties in that field, yes let Dalmi be with NDS, have that tough but amazing mentor, the cool group of friends, and pretty much all the other subplots etc. But by introducing the love triangle, they kind of made it a typical kdrama (something they didn’t want to do in the first place). The triangle forced people to take sides, which again is pretty standard in a kdrama but why has this one sparked such huge reactions?

I initially liked all the characters pretty equally and was totally fine with the main leads’ romance (still am, but I really cannot be bothered about their love story right now) but from ep 10/11, NDS (the character!) really was off putting. When Dalmi found out about the letters, and he kept crying to her (nothing against crying in general, I think it was natural for him to do so, but he was just doing it non-stop) I just kept wondering what the point was. If I was Dalmi, I’d be asking him to just stop and give me time/space to sort this out, there really isn’t a point crying over something that he willingly got himself into. Face the consequences and figure out how to solve it. Even after that he doesn’t give her the space she would have required? Waiting outside her house and all that. The second thing that irked me was how, as many have mentioned, that he just suddenly started hating HJP outright. If I know someone likes the same person as I do, I’m not going to hate that person! I might dislike that person greatly but not outright hate? And that just made the scenes difficult to watch because they (SST included) were being so immature about their feelings in an office space. And when they signed the contract and things didn’t go as planned, I had zero empathy for them. They totally deserved it. You may not like your mentor, but there are OTHER mentors you could have gone to, to quickly look through the contract before signing? In the real world, no one would sign something that quickly without consulting someone at least. But what pushed me over to HJP (again, I could care less about the romance aspect and who ends up with whom, but just as a character), was when NDS punched HJP. I mean. It’s not about “fighting” for the girl/his company, it’s really just him not being able to face the consequences of his actions. I mean the audacity to attack a mentor at his own office space is just mind boggling to me. In the real world, this is assault. And he could have had everything taken away. But no, there really were no consequences for him. Again. And that’s why the NDS character become difficult to root for.

Having mentioned all that, does this mean that NDS is a bad person/character? Nope, in fact he’s still genuine and earnest and sweet. But he has been propped up the people around him all the time (whether or not he felt like an imposter isn’t the case here) - his parents support him and think the world of him, his friends are insanely loyal to him and look up to him, the girl of his dreams immediately believes in him and everything he does, so of course when things doesn’t go the way he planned, he’s gonna fall apart (let’s not talk about the time before he joined sandbox, he was already successful at what he was good at which was developing that programme, so I won’t count it as a failure). And that is why this whole thing was necessary for him. To face his insecurities and his failure (although him going to a top company, doing what he loves, and earning a lot isn’t really considered a failure tho is it?), and he needs to learn to let go. That’s why when he returned I thought he’d be more mature? And to his credit, he is. But the way they made him irrationally hate HJP just irks me for some reason (again, HJP wasn’t exactly an angel here either, but man, the way NDS’s face hardens when he saw HJP felt uncalled for. Like he wasn’t the reason for your problems/issues). It’s been three years. Either you communicate your anger and talk it out and come to an understanding, or just stay far away from him. (edited this in cos I realised I forgot to add my NDS stuff)

HJP and NDS are both in different phases in life and I think that’s why there’s such a huge divide/camps. As someone who’s closer to HJP in terms of age, I totally understand him. If I worked with SST, I think I would have been telling them to grow up half the time, if they want to survive in this field. Surviving in this world is not easy and you need to ask the difficult questions. Whereas Dalmi and NDS are both starting out and that’s why there’s a group of (I’m assuming) younger individuals who are more drawn to them.

I feel that the writers made a huge mistake in the way they presented the story. It’s human nature to want to root for the underdog and in this case, I think they wanted us to believe that NDS is the underdog so we would root for him (I mean we still do want him to succeed) BUT, because they showed us HJP’s backstory first, we feel more for him and we’re more connected to him. When they showed NDS’s story, I didn’t feel much, not because it wasn’t sad or anything. I mean having to live with a lie/imposter syndrome would have been difficult mentally. I imagine it to be exhausting. However, this situation was of his own doing. Again. He could have owned up to it but he didn’t! Whereas the situation with HJP was not something of his doing, and so people would empathise with him more.

I actually don’t know where I’m going with this but yeah, I feel upset at the potential the drama had haha. But in any case, I’m glad it introduced me to the powerhouse that is KSH. So all’s good! 😊

[rwbyconversations]

Why Oscar’s writing has been disappointing

Stories rely on their characters. You can tell a grand, sweeping narrative that spans continents and timelines but if you don’t give a rats ass about the people at the center of these events, viewers won’t care. Stories with high kill-counts like Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Attack on Titan rely on audiences forming an attachment with characters very quickly, so that the possibility of their sudden death is all the more painful for the viewer. Long story short, if you can’t make an audience care about your character, it can be hard to keep them interested. 

RWBY has overall done a fantastic job at getting people to fall for its cast; I’m a case in point with how hard I’ll go to bat for Emerald and Mercury. But be it the obvious choices in the main cast, the wide array of villains to obsess over. The fandom even has a few eccentric folk who stan for people not seen in years! (shoutout to CFVY fans, who knew you’d get rewarded over the whole Coco in Chibi thing by getting a book?) But rather unfortunately, while one character has managed to earn a fanbase happy to see them get content, the writing has consistently failed one particular character, through constant refusals to allow them the screentime they deserve and often putting it in the wrong places when they do get morsels of time to shine each year.

Oh no, not you. I’ll get back to you before this hiatus is out. 

... actually why are his gloves orange of all colors? And what’s with the banages, is he planning on cosplaying Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs at an Atlas convention during the off-season?

Yeah, no, I’m talking about Oscar Pine. First introduced in Volume 4, Oscar has now been a part of the main cast for half of the show’s runtime. In that time Oscar has developed psychosis, met a ticket-punching man, got stuck in a house for a month, fought a teleporting staircase man, was involved in a train crash, bought new clothes, and stole military property. 

Notice something? Nothing in there mentioned Oscar getting character development. Or rather he does... but it’s always offscreen. Oscar is infuriating in the sense that he has a lot of wasted character potential to be one of the best characters in the show- a simple but efficient design, great voice work from Aaron Dismuke and a charming personality that makes him a likable hero. But in spite of that all, Oscar constantly get the shaft when it comes to his screentime showing him developing from his problems, and each volume so far has had Oscar be faced with a trial that would make for a truly fascinating character arc, only for him to get over it while the camera’s focused elsewhere. And that’s what I’m going to focus on in this essay- I’m going to go over why I think Oscar’s writing has been consistently mishandled, and my hopes for the character in Volume 7. 

God damn I don’t like doing this, I want to like the farm boi most of the time 

1) Volume 4: All these voices running through my head, I’m on fire, face burning red

Oscar is introduced very early in Volume 4- as in, he’s in the first episode and is the eighth character we see onscreen after the villains. Oscar is in fact, if you don’t count Ruby’s character short, present in Volume 4 before the title characters. His first episode is... a lot of nothing, mostly just Oscar doing some farming. Oscar’s introduction does a good job telling us a bit about his character without him saying much- he’s prone to daydreaming while working on the farm, clearly not enjoying himself and his work. It matches up with what we learn later, that Oscar dreams of becoming a hero. It’s a stock motivation, and a stock background, but a simple and effective way of setting up a hero who desires the chance to prove himself in the wider world. His intro scene is a nice, quiet beat between the dark opening of Evernight and Salem, and the more frantic action of RNJR fighting the Geist. But overall the time the fandom was wondering what was up with Oscar- he wasn’t in the OP and nothing had set him up before now and yet here he was, getting focus before the main girls.

It takes until Oscar’s second appearance, three episodes later in Family, that we get the real reason for his importance- Ozpin’s in his head, but it would take another three episodes, in Punished, for this to be elaborated on in an unintentional Christmas gift from Rooster Teeth; Ozpin’s in his head due to their Auras and souls merging thanks to Ozma’s pact with the Archangel Asshole a few centuries back, and now Oscar is starting to act like an Assassin’s Creed character with all the memories that are in his head that he didn’t create. It’s a cruel irony for Oscar- Ozpin plays on how Oscar wants to be more than just a farmhand to try and get him to go to Mistral, but Oscar’s body language and face make it clear that this wasn’t how he saw himself getting some new life choices. Rather tragically, Oscar finally gets the chance to be part of something bigger but the manner in which it’s offered to him is anathema, as it’s coming from a literal voice in his head who claims to be a dead headmaster, and more importantly, he was never offered a choice- this was thrust upon him, a young 14 year old child who never asked for this burden of responsibility. And the last shot of Oscar in this episode already has him cracking under that burden, stuck on his knees and unsure what to do. 

(also btw Oscar’s Aunt tells him to clean his hands but Oscar’s model has gloves on all the time, so... how would he clean his hands? Or does he read books with dirty gloves? Eww)

It’s an interesting place to leave Oscar, at the metaphorical and and spiritual crossroads, and means the viewer wants to see Oscar’s next actions and the deliberation between the easy, boring life he knows or risking everything on a voice in his head telling him to try his chances in the big city. Sounds pretty interesting, right?

Not to the writers, unfortunately. Because when we next check in with Oscar three episodes later during Kuroyuri, Oscar’s already on the road to Mistral with his backpack all ready to go. That deliberation, the consideration, Oscar eventually choosing to trust Ozpin and go along with his plan? All done offscreen. Similarly, Oscar goes from treating Ozpin’s voice as an irritating thing to be annoyed has been chucked out a window- now out on the open road, it doesn’t “feel crazy” anymore. It just feels like such a cheap way to handle Oscar’s writing- rather than show his development naturally, it just fast-forwards until it reaches a point where it skips all that. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first or last time Oscar is victim to the writers fast-forwarding through his development moments. Given how much of Oscar’s arc hinges on this crucial first step, it just seems inane to me that of all of the potential Oscar scenes to cut... him coming around on Ozpin and making the call to leave was what got the cutting room floor. Especially since nothing in his Kuroyuri scene was all that essential for Oscar in contrast, barring setting up the the mystery Hazel and Ozpin’s past.

Oscar doesn’t appear again after his encounter with Hazel until the finale, when during the montage of Ruby’s letter (that consists of half her dialogue this season) we see Oscar on the train to Mistral, which really only caused a problem thanks to all the people who used it to ask why RNJR didn’t take a train. He also appears in the post-credits scene, meeting Qrow at a bar and asking for his cane back, the volume ending on Oscar extending the cane experimentally. 

Being blunt, I feel like Oscar should have been cut from Volume 4 and just introduced in Volume 5 with the bar scene. Volume 4 already had to juggle far too much in RWBY and Cinder’s plots, and adding Oscar to the mix unfortunately meant the screentime for some characters had to suffer- especially Yang. His time this season ultimately goes nowhere and only gives him a basic background that most fans would have already guessed from his character design, and the already wobbly Jenga Tower that was Volume 4′s screentime didn’t need more blocks thrown on top. I like a fair few things in Oscar’s arc, but it’s content that ultimately I’d have been fine having left on the cutting room floor. Hell, if nothing else, Oscar’s first scene should have ended with Ozpin’s reappearance, that these are two separate scenes is mind-boggling and left the fans wondering what the hell was Oscar’s purpose for weeks. 

Oscar’s debut arc has its ups and downs, much like the volume itself. His intro scene and argument with Ozpin are both well-executed and show the viewer the vocal dynamite of Dismuke’s performance or just set up his base character, but for every good thing to come of Oscar’s arc, it’s fraught with issues- most notably, his scene of choosing to leave his home being omitted and beginning the unfortunate tendency for Oscar to get the short end of the stick when it came to development and agency, which undermine his choice to leave. But overall, Oscar built himself a small but dedicated fanbase with his debut volume, even immediately shooting up to become a potential target for Ruby’s affections in the fandom shipping wars. It was a rocky start, but surely now that Oscar was going to have his plot merged with RNJR, he’d be able to handle his screen-time more effectively, right? 

Right? 

Volume 5- Two for one on meatsacks

Volume 5 is Oscar’s worst volume so far, being blunt. It’s a lot of people’s worst volumes though (Cinder, Ruby, Weiss, Mercury, Adam, mine) that at least he can share the load. It doesn’t help that he’s not in half the damn thing because his body is being used by Ozpin to regale the audience with expositon that makes them actively yearn for the sweet embrace of death... or just the return of the World of Remnant shorts. Oscar’s first scene in Volume 5 is just a recycling of the Volume 4 post-credits scene, which raises the question of why the scene was used in Volume 4. I don’t think it’s even touched up, they literally just copy-pasted it. Much like his first scene in Volume 4, his intro scene this volume is intercepted by comedy relief- last time it was Jaune’s miserable attempts at being a strategist, this time it’s Drunkle Qrow.

... You know, this scene ages poorly in hindsight given how just one volume later Qrow’s alcoholism is treated with ice-cold severity. 

Episode 3 follows up on this and gives us Ozcar’s first major scene of the volume, and unfortunately also sets up their dynamic this volume. Oscar gets some awkwardly charming moments with Ruby but overall the scene is dominated by Ozpin taking over for the first time and explaining his reincarnation powers alongside setitng up RNJR’s plot for the season- “training.” An episode later sees the entirety of this training, with Oscar and Ruby engaging in hand-to-hand combat and Oscar getting a lore dump from Ren (in hindsight this is novel not just because they’re outside during it but Ren’s the one delivering the infodump and not Ozpin). Ozpin barely even factors into the episode barring some fisticuffs and a generic speech at the end. But the scene is overall just pointless to the narrative beyond loosely setting up Jaune’s own Semblance unlocking, and this is the last we hear of RNJR “training” for the upcoming trials at Haven. Hell, even though the story makes a point of noting Oscar still hasn’t unlocked his Semblance, that still hasn’t come up two years later. This scene really only pays off in one immediate way:

This is Ruby’s sole contribution to the Battle of Haven after getting KO’d by Emerald outside of just yelling orders for offscreen fights, and all this helped do was begin to convince people that “MERC’S A BAD FIGHTER WITHOUT EMERALD.” 

Lighting the Fire’s training scene is one of Oscar’s only major scenes where he interacts with RNJR to boot for the entirety of Volume 5, and it’s quite sad that nothing really comes of it. It just serves to highlight how little Oscar interacts with the other kids, as most of his dialogue this season is just as Ozcar.

Necessary Sacrifice then, should be great on paper. It’s an entirely Oscar and Ruby scene with Ozpin only chiming in at the end. It has Oscar confronting Ruby and himself on his fears and how Ruby can put up a brace face, and Ruby finally gets to open up a little about losing Penny and Pyrrha at Beacon. But the scene just falls flat on its face and botches the execution. Putting aside Ruby’s own problems in this scene (her speech feels incredibly pre-rehearsed, as if she spent hours practicing it in the mirror to ward off anyone actually prying into her life). Oscar’s anger and fear come out of left field with nothing setting this up in his prior scenes this volume. Ruby needed a scene where she talked about losing Penny and Pyrrha, but it should have been during Volume 4, with Jaune. Having it now with Oscar feels like the writers apologizing for having Ruby get shafted for screenitme during Volume 4... during the volume where she gets shafted by literally everyone else. The scene is frustrating to me, it could and should have been a lot better (musically at least I love the reprises of When It Falls and Lets Just Live), but it just feels like a hasty patch note. Oscar doesn’t really develop from the situation and his fears are just forgotten for the rest of the volume. 

Oscar then proceeds to basically sit out Volume 5 barring Chapters 11 and 12. I still don’t get why he wasn’t part of the dinner scene with RWBJNR, since it would have been so very easy for him to be part of the dinner and get the chance to interact with the rest of the kids. Oscar wants to be a hero, so let him... actually interact with heroes his age. Have him brought up to speed on the crazy adventures the team have, let them get to interact with Oscar without having to deal with his backseat driver. You could even make something tragic of the scene where Oscar is forced to go away so Ozpin can take over, and the team’s faces fall flat when Ozpin gets right to talking shop which leads to the YOU TURNED THEM INTO BIRDS exchange. But otherwise, the rest of the House scenes revolve around Ozpin talking. The kids talk past Oscar, and again, you can very easily make something tragic of that as Oscar could grow to resent Ozpin because none of the others see him as himself, just a puppet on strings. But again... Oscar’s just not allowed to develop onscreen in this show.

And perhaps the worst thing about all this is that whenever Ozpin actually is called out on his tactics, one of the most pressings ones in his possession of Oscar,a  14 year old boy, is never used as fuel. Granted, yes, Ozpin has no control over who’s his next host but surely someone, somewhere is going to opine how morally bankrupt it is that Ozpin essentially conscripted a child not even old enough to get a learner’s permit into his eternal shadow war. It’s times like this that my theory that Jaune was going to be Ozpin’s original replacement before the backlash to Jaundice made them backtrack looks more and more possible. 

The Haven Battle episodes quickly have Ozpin force control away from Oscar, but it’s not like Oscar did much before then anyway other than serve as the conduit for another lore dump on Hazel’s backstory. He doesn’t try and learn why Leo defected and manages to trounce the headmaster so well one wonders how the hell Leo got put in charge of a combat school. After that, Ozpin takes over (and we admittedly get some of the coolest fighting in the actual Battle of Haven in Ozcar vs Hazel) and Oscar only briefly returns in the last seconds of the finale to drop the sequel hook that they need to get the lamp to Atlas.

Volume 5 is just a bad season for Oscar- this is the one time we don’t get his eternal phantom of offscreen character development because it’s not fair to say Oscar has any development in Volume 5. He’s immediately forced to the back to serve as a projector through which Ozpin can put the audience to sleep, most of his actual scenes are irrelevant or just feel like a waste of time and he basically sits out the entire finale. It’s just infuriatingly incompetent writing- we’ve gone from Oscar being a waste of time in Volume 4 to just being a waste of a character in Volume 5 who barely gets to express himself. Little is done with Oscar that could not be achieved by putting a tape recorder beside a lampshade and calling that Ozpin’s new host. Volume 5′s bad for a lot of characters, but at least most of the rest of the cast had good seasons beforehand to show how well they could be handled or written. Oscar didn’t have that, and while ultimately the blame was placed more on Ozpin for hogging the time, Oscar’s critics began to grow and he was derisively seen as just a plot device to let the writers bring Ozpin back and serve as a mission marker for the heroes. One more bad season for Oscar could spell the end to his character ever having a warm reception among the fans and critics. Drastic action would need to be undertaken in order to regain trust in Oscar. 

3) Volume 6- Tossing out the baby with the water

So the big plan to give Oscar some screentime... was basically cut Ozpin out of the story entirely. Oscar is almost entirely himself after the fourth episode, it’s the longest run of episodes with Oscar as himself that we’ve gotten in the show to date and Ozpin doesn’t even surface until the finale. There’s a lovely line of Oscar’s in episode 4 that finally lets him address some of the fears and concerns he should be rightfully worried about- “I’m just going to be another one of his lives, aren’t I?” Oscar’s tone is just so bleak there, it works super well and it was nice to finally see Oscar expressing human emotions. It even my cynical heart hope that Volume 6 would finally see Oscar get the limelight he had been denied for two years running.

But then the ball is just dropped hard. Oscar’s left in a background role for the Brunswick episodes, stuck working on a tire while RWBY encounter the Apathy. What’s already a somewhat rushed resolution to the whole plot of “RWBY express concerns about going onward to Atlas in light of Jinn’s revelations” now leaves Oscar, the guy carrying Ozma’s soul in him, out of the moment. He just gets to be tired and tell Blake to make food if she’s hungry. 

Argus at least alludes to putting Oscar in the driver’s seat for his own solo arc where he explores the city alone after Jaune physically assults him (why didn’t anyone stop Jaune from hurting Oscar two people saying Jaune’s name with all the concern of someone stubbing their toe just feels cheap). Even though I was cold on the episode as a whole, Dead End did set up the wonderful idea of an Oscar episode, one where he maybe forces Ozpin to come out so they can talk frankly for the first time in two volumes. Maybe they could even rip off Avatar (some more) and have Oscar meet Ozma himself, using his conversation with the two as his own chance to rally onwards and decide to bring the fight to Salem.  It could have been a really sweet moment of him backing Ruby up in her desire to keep going, the two forming a mutual bond of bolstering each other’s hopes as they carry the burden for their team. 

But no. Because I can’t have nice things, in an otherwise near-perfect episode where I actually got Mercury and Emerald screentime and the lovely Pyrrha statue scene (which I low-key feel like Oscar should have been a part of but that’s a subject for another day), Oscar just gets over his issues, buys a new outfit and dodges past his problems, getting to develop past them, off-screen, for the third time in a row. 

As far as I care, Oscar stole the money for this costume from either Qrow or Jaune and I don’t care if Miles says to my face he earned the money legit, I’m keeping that headcanon. Also, why are his gloves still orange? They don’t fit the rest of his costume.

If there was anything that got cut from Volume 6′s final half, I’d bet money on it being Oscar’s solo arc. Kerry himself has admitted during the RWBY Rewind for the finale that stuff got cut, and it’s very likely (going off comments from Miles that The Lost Fable was a huge resource drain) that this content was going to be part of the entire episode that was cut (Volume 6 initially had 14 episodes but around Christmastime this was remedied down to 13). It’s actually downright insulting and infuriating that Oscar got the shaft again, especially when Volume 6 finally seemed to be addressing the issue of Oscar never getting growth or focus. He was free of Ozpin, and with Ozma’s history revealed it was the perfect time for him to embrace the past forced upon him and resolve to become a hero. But no, the episode count went down so we had to wave goodbye to Oscar’s agency again. 

Just think of how beneficial it would be for Oscar to actually confront his sorta-not-really ancestor, who may have had to watch as soul after soul gets consumed for him. Has Ozma ever had someone tell him none of this was his fault? I feel he needs it. 

If I was a more suspicious person I’d say it almost feels deliberate, that someone on the writing team doesn’t like Oscar and is purposefully keeping his growth offscreen out of childish spite. But three volumes in a row now, Oscar’s growth has felt artificial and fake, and leaves him feeling like an afterthought. I know it’s not a problem of RWBY not being able to write new characters well, just look at how fleshed out and beloved Maria was after just her debut season. But Oscar just can’t catch a break and it’s frustrating to watch. In a volume that otherwise made huge strides in solving many of the pre-existing issues in Volumes 4 and 5, that 6 still refuses to treat Oscar with anything other than mild apathy is just mind-boggling. 

Like, what was even the point of having Jaune say Ozpin was just pretending to be Oscar? To make Jaune look irrational? To plant the red herring in the viewer’s minds?  The rest of the volume itself shoots the idea down hard, and it feels like it was going to be used during Oscar’s potential cut scene, but again... it was cut. I can only go off what’s in the volume and unfortunately, Oscar in Volume 6 is only marginally better than he was in past Volumes. Bless his heart, Aaron is trying to save this character but the writing itself is dragging Oscar down every chance it can get. 

4) Volume 7- The potential breaking point

Oscar’s character is currently in a make or break spot, and Volume 7 will either finally solve his growth issues or this will be it and his fandom will reach a boiling point. The worst thing is, it’s a very easy solution to fix Oscar.

Just put his character development onscreen. 

That’s it, the golden answer to all of Oscar’s problems is to just stop cutting his development and agency short. Oscar has potential to be the most tragic character in RWBY- someone who wanted to be a hero, only for the responsibilities to be forced on him without his consent. He’s someone who the rest of his companions oftentimes don’t see as a person, just a walking telephone to their boss. Imagine how dehumanizing it would be, especially after Qrow’s “Don’t lie to him, we’re better than that” line? Imagine being someone effectively living on borrowed time because sooner or later, your consciousness will be absorbed what makes you you will be but a distant memory? Oscar could easily be a shining example of character growth, he could easily have a great arc of learning to deal with the burdens of Ozma’s struggle, of being the target of Hazel and Salem’s ire when he did nothing to earn it. But it needs to be soon, or all the potential in the world won’t be able to save Oscar. 

Perhaps Volume 7 will have a flashback to Oscar in Argus having that confrontation with Ozpin and getting his new outfit. Perhaps Ironwood will be mistrusting of Oscar claiming to be Oz, and Oscar will have to step up and prove he is who he says he is. Qrow never apologized to Oscar for punching him, so an apology would serve both Qrow and Oscar’s arcs as Qrow reignites his spark to fight. A potential confrontation with Salem where Oscar may try something the previous Oz lives didn’t could work wonders for Oscar. Volume 7 could still easily have Oscar get spotlight, but with how many plates the season is already planning to spin (Tyrian and Wattts going to Atlas, Cinder and Neo going after Ruby, Weiss dealing with her family, Ruby learning about the Silver Eyes with Maria, a likely return of Faunus racism for Blake and Yang, Atlas class warfare, the token reminder that Pyrrha died so Jaune, Ren and Nora can be sad, etc.) I’m already accepting that Oscar is the most likely candidate to get the boot again. It’s happened before, and I try to avoid being a sucker who falls for the same thing over and over. Definition of insanity and all that. 

5) Conclusion

Oscar is... I hate to say this again, but infuriating to me writing wise. He has so much potential as a character in terms of his growth but despite having had main character status for half the show’s runtime now, it’s hard to really care. Oscar keeps getting the short end of the stick, and if it turns out that the whole reason he got shafted for years was because of M&K’s mystery fetish, I might actually throw a chair out a window.  

What makes it worse is that Oscar is not a character with no hopes of being salvaged! There is a very easy way to remedy the problem and it’s just to let him have his time to shine and develop offscreen. Flashbacks covering the lost events such as his leaving his farm or gaining confidence in Argus (or even giving Oscar a character short specifically to address these issues) might be belated and feel like damage control- let’s be fair, after Adam’s short this wouldn’t be the first time they resorted to doing damage control in their shorts- but it would be a step in the right direction and show the team are committed to working to salvage Oscar. But they want to do it, it has to be now. If Oscar leaves Volume 7 suffering from the same problems, he might as well get killed off in Volume 8 because that will be it for his character, no one will defend him and Oscar will fully become the heroic Cinder in that no matter what, you can rest assured they won’t get onscreen development from anything that happens. In the meantime, all I can do is hope that this time, things will work out for the farm boi. There’s a goldmine of a character here guys, someone’s just gotta put the work into finding the first nugget. 

In short, Oscar can be a great character, if the writing lets him become it onscreen. But until then, it’s going to be a frankly depressing journey to get there.

Thank you for reading. 

[melodiouswhite]

Forbidden Fruit

A/N: Writing shameless Jekyde smut. This is an Seperated AU, written from Dr. Jekyll's POV. I've never written smut before in my life, please be nice to my comment section. Yes, I know that this smut fic is amateurish, but I've never written stuff like that before, so please forgive me, if this isn't as good as my other writing. There is no plot to this. I'm not sorry.

At first I thought, that something had gone wrong. I wanted to get rid of my evil to be a good man, or at least that's what I tell myself, that's what I want to believe. So I brewed a potion to separate my evil. It didn't quite go as planned. It was separated, but not completely, it's still a part of me, still within me. The potion tore my soul apart, yet it only manifested in changing my shape and character. My evil became a sentient entity with a mind and emotions of its own, taking a shape every time I took the potion. I had a completely dark being within me, while at the same time I was still the same Henry Jekyll, with all my desires, negative character traits and wishes. It was a change for the worse, yet I did gain something. No. I gained someone . 'It' became a 'he'. I couldn't tear my eyes off him, the first time I saw him. I still can't. Whether you like Edward Hyde's appearance or not, it's impossible to look away. People find him ugly for reasons I know, but can't comprehend. Not when I am so attracted to him. No. Attracted is the wrong word. I love him. Need him. Want him. Desire him. I can't say how it happened, but it did and I don't regret it. God, there is no word to describe how much I love and desire him. Now I have finally found a way to separate us completely, but I don't want him to leave. Luckily, neither does he. We can finally be together in the way we wanted and I'm so happy. Oh Lord, if you wanted to punish me for my sins, I couldn't have asked for a sweeter punishment. I love his youth, his thirst for life and its pleasures, his energy, his fire, the way the light of his flames illuminates my soul and makes me feel alive. Nothing seems to be impossible for him and it's invigorating, euphoric. It still boggles my mind, the things he can do to me, when he touches me, kisses me, lies with me, makes me feel these overwhelming sensations. I love his café noir brown hair and the noises he makes, when I run my fingers through it. It's long, wavy and silky. I can't get enough of entangling my fingers into it, when we lie together. I love his ghost white skin, that seems to glow in the moonlight, and how it is hot and cold at the same time, when it's on mine. I love his acid green eyes that actually do glow in the dark and have a wicked gleam to them. I love how tiny he is, it's honestly adorable. His head doesn't even reach up to my shoulder. I love his pale, beautifully swung lips. They can kiss like no other and god, I can never resist the temptation. Sometimes he paints them red and looks more seductive than the most experienced common girl* ever could. He tastes like cherries and pomegranates. It's the sweet taste of sin and I'm addicted. I love his voice. To others it sounds unlikeable, but to me he is a siren. Hyde has an almost feminine, guttural rasp, yet there is something melodic and sensual about it. When he wants something from me, he adopts a sultry purr, that he knows makes my knees go weak and awakens the passion, that I thought I'd lost. I love the small similarities and differences between my alter ego and myself. He is a part of me, yet I always discover something new about him. Those are only a few of Hyde's charms. I could rant about him for days and it wouldn't be enough.

Right now, he is standing behind my chair, his hands wrapped around my shoulders. He snickers into my ear and I know what he wants. I feel my face flush. Gently, he nibbles at my ear lobe and I have to suppress a moan, because he knows all of my sensitive spots and how to touch them to drive me mad.

“Jekyll”, he purrs and I feel his sinful lips move from my ear lobe down to my jaw, right above my stiff collar. The collar often rubs against my skin uncomfortably, irritating it, until I just want to tear it off my neck, throw it on the floor and trample on it. He caresses the sensitive skin and I shudder. “Hyde, please. I'm trying to work.” It doesn't sound convincing, I know. “Are you?”, he questions, his breath ghosting along my neck. “Because I don't see you working right now.” He is right, of course. I could just ignore him and proceed with my paper work. But I don't and we both know, that he has already won. I don't struggle today. No. I smile, turn my head and kiss him. He tilts his own to get a better angle and kisses me back. Somewhere along the line, I feel his nimble fingers remove my stiff collar and it's so much better without that nasty thing, so out of gratitude I open my lips to let his tongue in. He immediately claims my mouth as his and I relish in the taste of pomegranates and cherries. Hyde is talented and skilled and not before long, I'm entangling my fingers in his hair, wanting more. Everything fades around us and I forget how wrong and perverse it is to lie with another man, forget that Hyde is legally only twenty years old and could be my son (and as my creation he technically is) and that we're committing a serious crime**. All I know in this moment is, that I desire him and the forbidden fruit he offers to me. “Hyde”, I say, “Let's take this upstairs.” He grins in triumph and helps me up. He is never as gentlemanly as when he seduces me and that alone makes me want him more. Eagerly, we hurry to my bedroom. On the way Poole throws us a questioning glance, because it's only nine pm and I never retire this early. I just about manage give him the order to let no one come near my room for the night, before Hyde pulls me inside. He closes the door after me, locking it for good measure. It's a good thing I can count on the discretion and loyalty of my servants or we would both be ruined. He doesn't wait until we're in my bed, but pins me against the door. Greedily we devour each other's mouth, as we undress. Within moments, we're pressed against each other, skin on skin and I feel his heat and cold. His left hand brushes my nether regions, teases them deliberately. It makes me growl and I lift him up. He yelps in surprise and laughs, as I carry him to the bed, dropping him onto the sheets unceremoniously. I lie beside him and allow him to crawl on top of me, because he doesn't like to be the bottom, despite me being the older and taller one. He kisses me on the lips, then travels down my jaw, neck, chest and stomach, before ending up between my legs. I gasp, as his tongue caresses the sensitive skin on my thighs and I feel myself harden. Then he sucks me and I have to bite my arm to stifle my cries. “Edward! Ahhh … oh god … ohhh, don't stop … oh, Edward!” I make a sigh of his name, a moan, a cry, a plea … a prayer. Hyde doubles his efforts and now I can't hold back any longer. Then he shoves a finger inside me, two and three, but it's not enough, I need more, I need him sheathed inside me, ploughing me mercilessly, ravishing me like only he can. “Edward … please”, I beg him. He laughs and looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes. I whine, as that little devil removes his fingers and his mouth from me and sits up. “Why, my dear doctor”, he scolds me, “If you want pleasure, you have to work for it!” I know what is expected of me, sit up and get on my fours. With a last hungry gaze into his wicked green eyes, I position my head in front of his half hard erection, take it into my mouth and begin to suck it slowly. He moans lowly and I feel his spidery fingers entangling themselves in my blond hair. I know just how he likes it, I am his other half after all. He is rock hard in no time, but just like me, he wants more. He presses himself into my mouth completely, obviously expecting me to give him a deep-throat. But it has been decades since I last gave one, so I choke, when his manhood brushes my palate and pharynx. He notices and removes himself from my mouth. “Sorry, sorry. Shhh”, he apologises, as I cough and wheeze and he strokes my throat and cheek. “I forgot how much out of practise you are.” My gag reflex settles down and I can breath evenly. With a smile I clasp the hand caressing my face and gaze deeply and lovingly into his eyes. He smiles back with uncharacteristic tenderness and softness. I love this smile, because it's reserved for me, Henry Jekyll, his unworthy other half, his inferior creator. I want to tell him how much I love him. But there are no words strong enough and I'm too overwhelmed to say anything other than his name. “Lie down on your back”, he commands me and I obey and spread my legs like the whore I am. He runs his fingers up my legs and lets his tempting touch tingle my skin and kindle my desire to have him finally inside me. “Beautiful”, he whispers, eyeing my body as if I was an Adonis (I'm not). “Oh, you have no idea how beautiful you are, my sweet doctor.” He lifts my head and shoulder up, so he can kiss me on the lips and he does so, deeply and passionately. I requite the kiss with equal passion, whine into his sinfully sweet mouth and grind against him, because I want him, I need him, I need his fire to consume me until nothing is left.

“Edward”, I whimper, “Please … don't tease me any longer. I can't take it any more. I need you … I need you so bad!” Hyde smirks deviously and licks his lips sensually. “Oh, you dirty, lecherous old man”, he taunts me, “Grinding against me, begging me to fuck your brains out, like a London whore. Where is your prim and demure demeanour now? But fear not, my lusty doctor, I'll make you feel so good, that you'll forget who you are.” Finally, he positions himself in front of my hole and enters me in one rough thrust. I groan in pain, my eyes begin to water and I start sobbing, because I'm so overwhelmed by the pain and the desire and it feels so good to have his throbbing arousal finally inside me, but I still need more, I need him to live up to his promise soon. Now he begins to move slowly and teasingly, it's almost painful and I move against him, moaning, sobbing, begging him to pound me faster, harder. He complies and on top of that, he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking greedily. I gasp and entangle my fingers in his hair yet again. Our eyes meet, his glowing with diabolic passion, mine clouded with lust, love and tears of joy. A salacious grin appears on his face, then he moves his hand up to tweak my other nipple between his thumb and fingers and it makes me cry out and writhe in desire. All of this is too much for my senses. The way he savagely thrusts into me, snarls obscene things into my ear, licks, sucks and tweaks my nipples and then, to top it all off, he takes my own manhood into his free hand. I move into him as much as I can, screaming his name all the while. My entire being is on fire, I'm burning, the heat within me gets stronger and stronger. And I can tell it's the same for him, because his thrusts become even faster and more brutal and his panting becomes increasingly erratic. Suddenly he grabs my head, yanks me up and sinks his teeth into my neck and shoulders, covering them in love bites. Once again, pain mixes with lust and then his flame bursts. He comes with a guttural growl, I feel his seed explode inside of me and it pushes me over the edge as well, sets me ablaze. Stars dance before my eyes, I throw my head back and scream his name, as the flames of hell engulf me and I climax. And in this moment, I do forget who I am. We scream our orgasms out into the night and I'm pretty sure that someone hears us, but right now I can't find it in my heart to care. Hyde collapses on top of me with his sword still sheathed inside me and his skin is both hot and cold on mine, as we both lie in the afterglow, faces flushed, covered in sweat and semen, gazing into each other's eyes and smiling blissfully. “Edward”, I coo tenderly and caress his face. He smiles lopsidedly but softly, with a certain fondness. We lie like this for a while in deep relaxation and I am happy and in love. Then the wicked gleam returns to his eyes and he grins again. I blink in confusion. What could he be up to now? He rolls off me, then points at my sticky torso. “Do you want me to clean that mess, doctor?”, he suggests mischievously. I know how he means it and nod. Hyde goes to work and licks the stickiness off me with the eagerness of a common girl at the promise of more money. I sigh in enjoyment, while he cleans me as meticulously as a cat cleans her fur. At some point I feel heat arise in me again. Renewed excitement bubbles up in my abdomen and I blush in embarrassment. He sees my obvious arousal and cackles: “Oho! Looks like someone is ready for round two!” I chuckle quietly: “Edward, I don't think my bum can take any more.” That's true. In fact, I'm quite sure, that I won't be able to walk tomorrow. But Hyde shakes his head and laughs: “Who says that you will be the one, who gets fucked?” I gape at him in surprise. Edward Hyde hates not being the one in power. Normally he only allows me to top, when we're having angry sex or when I initiate it (which doesn't happen often), rarely in a relaxed environment. He smirks and busies himself with blowing my growing erection once more. I moan lowly and hoarsely, because my voice is gone from all the screaming. Meanwhile his hand runs up and down my abdomen and waist, making me mewl. Then I growl, because he gives me the deep-throat I failed to give him earlier. I struggle to resist the urge to press further into his mouth. That would make him choke, experienced as he may be. “Oh, Edward …” After what seems like a few minutes, he stops, removes his mouth from me and admires his handiwork. “What a glorious sight! Henry, you lucky sod! Do you have the faintest idea, how many men of all ages would sell their soul to be so vigorous and able as you?” I blush and look away bashfully. Really, my alter ego makes me feel like a shy young man all over again! He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him again. “No need to be so shy, Henry. Not after you begged for my dick and screamed my name so many times, that now you can hardly talk!”, he chuckles. My blush grows darker at how Hyde makes use of words that I would never take into my mouth. But then he returns to his spot next to me, lying on his back and spreading his own legs for me. “Come on, doctor”, he rasps and his bright green eyes darken with lust, “Your patient needs you to cure his fever.” That makes me smirk. He senses what I'm up to, gives me a warning frown and I understand. Being the bottom makes him anxious. I must not let him wait. I roll on top of him and he practically disappears beneath me, being so small. When I grind against him, he cries out, presses himself against me in return and wraps his legs around me. “Ah! Ohh yes … o-oh! Nnng – oh Henry – ahhh … oh fu-” I muffle him with a searing kiss. As he kisses me back, his thin, wiry arms wrap themselves around my neck and torso, keeping my body pressed against his. Shamelessly he moans into my mouth and I feel his tiny body rub against my large one. Finally the need for air becomes too great and we have to end the kiss, so we can breathe. His pale face is flushed, his dark hair is sticking into his face, his lips are reddened and swollen and his eyes are slightly damp, full of real longing and desire. It's truly beautiful, but if I told him that, he wouldn't believe it. I stroke the damp strands out of his face and kiss him on the cheek, before working my way down from his face, neck, chest, stomach and finally to his thighs and nether regions. He gasps, as I take his erection into my mouth and make up for the blowjob I messed up earlier, while simultaneously fingering him slowly. “Doctor! Stop teasing me. I need you … give me your healing staff … stick it inside me already … don't make me wait.” I almost laugh at the way he manages to work me up by bringing my profession into our lovemaking. “Of course, of course”, I say sweetly, before I grab his hips with both hands and enter him carefully. I groan lowly at the lovely sensation of his tight hole squeezing my rod. But Hyde hisses, face contorted with pain and I feel his legs tremble against mine. Then a sharp pain as he violently drags his finger nails down my back, most certainly drawing blood. That's another one of the reasons he hates taking it. It hurts him every time. I wish it didn't, but he is so small and tight and I'm big. All I can do is to be as tender as possible and ensure that he feels more pleasure than pain. “Shhh, shhh”, I coo, stroke his hips, sides and stomach soothingly and pepper his neck and shoulders in gentle kisses, while he whimpers into my shoulder. After a while his body relaxes and his breathing eases down and he leans up to breathe into my ear: “Move.” At first I go slowly and it's so hard to hold back. But my consideration pays off. Soon enough he closes his eyes and sighs in pleasure and my heart swells, because now he begins to feel as good as I do. “Oh, Henry … yes …” When I pick up my pace, I'm forced to support myself against the mattress, so that my other half isn't crushed by my full weight. He isn't fragile by any means, but I'm still a lot heavier than he is. “Ah! Ohhh, oh yes! H-Henry! Oh fuck! Yes! Henry! Harder! Faster! Please!”, he croaks. I sit up and pull him up into my lap, impaling him even further. Hyde begins to moan louder, as I pound into him, wraps one arm around my body, the other around my neck and starts to ride me. I groan at the sensation, at his expertise even in this field, at how bloody good this feels. “E-Edward … o-oh my god! Ah!” He probably doesn't hear it, he's too busy calling out my name in return. I'm so proud that I can make him do that, make him lose himself in the pleasure I give him. Then I take his hard-on into my hand and jerk him off. His moans turn into lustful howling and shouting and again he scratches my back, albeit this time not purposefully. I ignore how my eardrums are ringing from the volume of his shrieking and affectionately gaze at his beautifully flustered, euphoric face and drink up the joy flowing from his wide acid green eyes. “Henry! Ah! Yes, right there! Henry! Henr-” Again I muffle his cries with a kiss, our tongues dance, our saliva mingles and his body is pressed against mine and my own eyes fill with tears of love. “Edward”, I pant, “My dear … other half … my fire … my soul!” “My soulmate”, he chokes, “My doctor … my creator … my heart!” The flame within me grows and grows and I know that I'm close. In sweet retribution, I sink my teeth into his neck repeatedly, marking him as mine and drawing blood. Of course he scratches me again - this time across the sides, but this pain is nothing compared to the happiness I feel. My thrusts become rougher and I grab his behind, pulling him further onto me, while he wraps his arms around my neck and stares deep into my eyes. “B-bite me again – ah!”, he demands, “Mark me as yours – oh! G-give me your injection – nng! Fill me with your love – a-ah! P-please, I need it – ohhhh – fuck, I'm so close-” Who is the whore now? I smile and nod. Then he throws his head back and shouts: “Ahhhh! I'm coming! Oh fuck, I'm coming!” He ejaculates hard onto our stomachs and chests, his walls constrict around me and that is all it takes to push me to my own release. Everything around me becomes fire and heat and flaring light and I explode inside him with a grunt, harder and more than I expected for the second time this night. “Edward!” “Henry!” Our bodies quake from the orgasm, as the rest of the night is once more disturbed by our screaming. I don't know how much time passes. But as we sit in the afterglow, try to catch our breaths and gaze into each other's eyes, exhaustion finally settles in. Hyde rests his head on my shoulder, rubs his cheek against it and purrs. I resist the urge to make a cat joke, but chuckle and run my fingers through his tousled hair. The purring intensifies. Gently I peck his forehead and whisper, that I love him. He doesn't answer, but that's fine. He will never say these words, never will be able to. He can only express them in the only way he knows, by dropping his defences and giving all of himself. And I fall for him all over again. We kiss one last time, tenderly and affectionately. Finally I set him down and slip out of him. He rolls onto his side and I lie next to him, embracing him from behind. Hyde turns his head and tiredly grins at me over his bony shoulder. “Hey, Henry.” “Hm?” “Happy birthday.”

… 

*Common girl - euphemism for a prostitute.

**in August 1885 an act was passed to regulate prostitution. It contained an article that criminalised homosexuality. Up until then, it had only been sodomy, that had been punishable, but now homosexual love in general became illegal. It only was decriminalised in England and Wales more than 80 years later, in 1967, and a bit later in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

[ashencreature]

Needless to say, when I made Ella back in June, I wasn’t expecting her to get very many partners or last as long as she has! I’m still convinced most of y’all are lost, but as a thank you for being here, I’ve thrown together a bias list of my favorite people under the cut. Thank you guys so so much for sticking around, loving my little sunshine child, and helping us grow and develop together! <3 <3 Without many of you, neither of Ella nor I would be here today! Also keep your eyes open for another surprise coming up soon. 

Section 1: The lights of my life

Aka My absolute favorites who I am keeping forever

@personnages - Lynna, you’re basically the reason I got into rping in the first place! The last 5 or 6 years have been pretty rough for us both, but we’ve stuck through them together and I hope we continue to for a long, long time in the future! I love you so much and you’re without a doubt one of my best friends! 

@annastrxng & @ladyangelaliberty - Lyssa and Angie, oh my gosh I don’t even know where to start! The three of us have also had a pretty rough last few years. But we’ll always have each other and our trip to Hershey to look back on! I miss our all night video chats and talking almost every day. But I love the two of you very much and I’m always gonna be here prodding you to look after yourselves, like a big sister should. 

@ithilwcn - Ayla!! Time sure has flown by, hasn’t it? I know I can be a pain in the ass at times, but you’re always there to listen and keep me company and I love you to death for it?? I love each and every one of your characters and writing with you! Don’t ever change.

@tulog - Ran, gosh, we’re getting to be such fossils, aren’t we? In all seriousness, though, idk where I’d be today if you and Wu hadn’t given me a chance with Wen/Ellie waaaay back in the NRP days. I still adore everyone who was in the group, even if we don’t talk much anymore, or at all. You guys truly are my family and I’ll love you all the rest of my life. 

@nogoodnessimproveme - Ari is literally my favorite Adam ever?? No lie I was intimidated when we first met just because you were so fantastic and I’m an awkward little potato. But you’re for real one of the sweetest people ever, and I would go to war for you ok? I’m so proud of you, and give Stella a big hug for me!

@i-want-adventure / @kit-itskit - Meghan was another one who intimidated me with her awesomeness. We don’t talk much anymore, but I know you’re busy and you have to look after school and yourself first, especially with how bad the last year has been. I hope things get better soon! Your Belle and Kit will always be near and dear to me for helping me find so much with my own Belle and Ella. You’re great and you can fight me!

@charmingisms - Tara is another phenomenal Kit! She’s so true to his charm and sweetness and just the way that he adores Ella. Every time I get a reply from her, I’m grinning like a fool. I wish we talked more ooc, but I adore seeing you!

@ncvcrlctgo - Milla is, I swearm my favorite Ella that I’ve seen so far. I can’t even hold half a candle to her, and the fact that she actually wants to write with me is mind boggling? I love talking with her ooc and plotting things, and just laughing in general. If I ever make it to Brazil we totally have to meet up!

@thewonderingsorceress - Ella is such a great oc! Her character is so complex but true and effortless, and my Ella adores her. And she’s the sweetest person ooc as well. I love chatting ooc and venting about problems. 

@innocentmanwithabounty - Rose is such a darling, and Vin is the cutest thing ever? I’ve never really been big on the old west genre, but Vin is literally to sweet to resist? He’s such a gentleman and all of my girls that he’s met so far adore him. I can’t wait to see what comes for him and Ella!

@safeinmyheartjxr - Allie! From the moment you first messages me about making Miles, I knew we’d be close. I’m super protective of you, and anyone that messes with you has to go through me first! I know things are rough rn with school, but I’m always here if you ever just need to talk. We don’t even have to be writing, ok? I’m always here. 

@villagebeauty - I miss Sam! Her Belle was so sweet and fantastic! And she was such a doll to  talk to ooc. I hope everything is going well for you, darling! 

@roastytoastyprincxss - Amy is such a great Nuka, like?? My inner child just squeals every time I see her on my dash because I feel like I’m watching the movie again. Not to mention, he and Ella are the cutest thing ever! Our poor babies! They’re gonna say screw everyone that hurt them and make it on their own!

@avaloranxchancellor - Raven is such a doll! I don’t know like anything about Elena, Avalor, or Esteban, but I adore him anyway? He’s so polite and gentlemanly. And how protective he is of Ella is the sweetest thing. God knows my poor girl needs it! I can’t wait to see what else we can come up for for them!

@smallmeanssafe - PAPA!!! XD The best Maurice right here, ok? Ella, Belle, and I all adore writing and talking with you, darling!! Plus, I love hearing your ideas for fics and how to make our poor little family suffer. 

@mcrmaidscales - Foxxy is such a great Ariel! I haven’t gotten that far into OUAT yet, sadly. But I can definietly hear the cartoon Ariel coming through in her writing. If the show is anything like this, I’ll love her! Plus like I love her and Ella’s friendship? They’re so supportive and caring, and like sisters should be. Give me Ella being friends with more princesses! I want it! 

Section 2: I just wanna love you

Mainly those, partners and not, I don’t know very well, don’t speak to that often, or just love in general.

@asktheprinceofdarkness - Maddy was so understanding of the fact that I know absolutely nothing about KH, and I’m glad that she was willing to overlook that because Xeha with Ella is so cute. I get the feeling he doesn’t trust easy but the fact that he does her is just the cutest thing!

@mostpeculiarmademoiselleetmsieur - Caity is another fantastic Belle that I’ve looked up to for a very long time! It was amazing getting to write with her on my Belle, and I just want to thank her for giving me a chance and tell her to never change and keep writing no matter what because she’s amazing! 

@the-one-true-queen / @forgottenroyal - Jessi and Alice are fantasic? She’s one of my favorite Ocs that I’ve come across in my like 6 years on Tumblr rping. She’s so well developed and natural, and I’m jealous honestly??

@ellasmxther - Oh gosh where do I even start? When I made Ella, I honestly wasn’t expecting to find either of her parents, or if I did, I figured they’d all be inactive. And when Tara followed me, I had a mini heart attack. I love giving Ella and Elias a chance to spend time with their mom, and hope we get to do more stuff in the future!

@findthebxrd - Ok, talk about screaming! When I first found out there was a Dug blog, I’m pretty sure I cried because Dug is the best, and everything about this is just too precious, too pure, and too perfect. I love having Ella interact with him as a puppy and a dog, and I can’t wait to see how it goes with him as a human! 

@imthelcstprincess - I’ve seen and followed quite a few Rapunzels across my blogs, and Lissa is a great one. She gets the innocence and carefree part of her nature with ease. Plus like I love her fcs! AnnaSophia is perfect for younger Punz, and I honestly wouldn’t have pegged Taylor as being older Punz, but I dig it in a way??

@whatshouldbedone - Kira is another amazing Ella that I can’t believe followed me, and another of my favorites! We don’t write together, although I’d love to! I hope everything is going well for you, dear, and your hiatus is the break you need!

@askjoeharper - Jenny and I haven’t written together other than Joe and Ilse, but she’s very sweet and he is a precious little dear! I honestly couldn’t get through Tom Sawyer, but I adore Joe and I would love to write with both of them again.

@riisingfromashes - Annie is such a sweetheart! I love that her muses are all so different and they all seem amazing! Belle loved Antoinette. I’d love to write with her again as well!

@princebete - Honestly another fantastic Adam that I’ve admired for years! I’m so glad to see that they’re still around and haven’t given him up! Seeing them on my dash is just such a great thing, and I always smile!

@fatherofnarnia - I miss Lina and would love to get to write with her again as well! Her Aslan is fantastic and I’m honestly blown away by how she’s able to do it. 

@sweepthecinders - Aurélie is precious and Ella totally wants to take her under her wing. She’s such a well developed OC and a precious little one! Plus like, writing little kids is hard? But they do it fantastically well! 

@wcnderment - I’ve only interacted with them briefly for Aurora, but I loved it! Her fc was perfect! And she was so sweet how she looked after Ella. I’d definitely love to write with them more! 

Section 3: Those I admire from afar

Mutuals I’d love to interact with and adore seeing on my dash

@flxbber @demoliticnist @scoobydudee @notgettingawaythistime @riffrcffed @prince-kivuli @skidrowflorist @thedonewithsleepingbeauty @gliitchiing @do-i-win-yet @minamxrray @wcstenra @heavensliight @adolescentmxrmaid @sncwkissedqveen @notalone-butfree @ncturebcy @thiingmabobs

[olga-eulalia]

Fic dump! As in I’m dumping you, fic! Bye. #improvingmylife

Unbeta’d Pre-S1 Prostitute!Silver/Patron!Flint PWP. 2500 words. Warnings: Non-native speaker writing here. Explicit content. Weird content. Money & Masturbation. No plot. Unfinished.

Except for the ink staining his fingers, his body was clean, his sweat crisp. A whiff of battle, of smoke and metal, sometimes lingered in the thick of his hair and in the folds of his clothing. He was wont to kiss Silver sweetly on the side of his neck where it was most tender and cradle his body with gentle hands as if it were a fragile parcel. Yet he fucked deep and hard, and knew how to make Silver come on his dick.

Flint was the one patron Silver would not part with without protest.

Once or twice, gingerly removing his legs from Flint's shoulders, Silver, in an addled state, had entertained fancies of recompense. He might be getting paid for providing a service and whether he was attracted to his client or not ought to have no influence on his performance, but if Flint somehow managed to make him excited just at the thought of him, and not only because he could make a kiss on the mouth be as effective as a hand down Silver’s silk trousers, if Silver’s breaths came a little faster at the mere sight of his favourite, returned from the sea, mounting the stairs with one hand on the hilt of his sword, eyes tempting like a dare while he took each step with strategic deliberation, surely that was not something to be taken for granted?

On the bed, jostled into the space between Silver’s bare thighs, Flint held another doubloon up to the light and then placed it on Silver's belly so that it kissed the upper arch of the navel from above. He watched it lie there for a moment, watched it rise and fall in the rhythm of Silver’s quickened breaths, before he added another one of its kind to it, and then another, making the potential reward a rather generous one already and making it, in turn, very difficult for Silver who had to slow down his measured strokes even further in order to contain his excitement.

"Think you can reach that?" Flint peered at him, fingertips glancing over his latest addition.

Against the red backdrop of Silver’s bed, his features were of a mind-boggling brilliance as sunset fell on them through a sliver in the curtain, changing the colour of his eyes into a vivid sea-green and turning his beard bright orange, his lips pale pink. Freckles crowded on his arms, were scattered across his chest, but gradually decreased in volume the further down his body tapered to his white underpants where the skin was soft and tender and kisses made him groan, where the shape of his hard dick, gorgeous and hefty like the rest of him, now pushed against the linen.

“Certainly," Silver answered, pointedly serene, snaking a leg around Flint’s waist while he eyed the coins on his abdomen to make sure they did not dislodge themselves during his attempt to pull Flint closer. One of them was about to slip off already. "If you fucked me, however--"

Flint lifted a stern eyebrow at him.

Silver dropped his leg and his head back into the sheets and sighed, providing a bit of a show.

An exercise in patience was nothing new, after all. Even with Flint primed and ready from the first kiss, as he usually was, it seemed impossible to accelerate the progress of events, and as long as Silver’s attempts at steering them according to his will kept misfiring, their trysts would always remain a source of frustration for him.

As a meagre consolation, Flint gave him two more gold pieces to attain to, placing the second in the centre of his chest. "How about this one? You think you can reach it?” A hint of wiliness twinkled in his eyes, twitched in the pointy ends of his mustache. Distracted by such roguish charm, one could easily forget that all those shiny coins had been raked in by means of violence and coercion.

"Please," Silver said, aiming for nonchalance, but missing by a considerable margin.

He put one hand between his legs, two fingertips to his taint and nudged them in. Habit almost made him reach further down and give himself something to writhe down onto, which would have been disastrous; would have not only broken the agreement he had with Flint, but also ruined over a week’s worth of monumental restraint, when it was the promise of having it done for him good and proper that had made him so well-behaved in the first place.

Flint guided Silver’s thighs further apart, holding him open to his gaze, eager to see. “Fuck,” he said, readjusting his grip a tad crudely. “There’s not an inch of you that’s not pretty.” Without taking his eyes off Silver, he loosened the drawstring on his underpants and reached inside, knuckles straining against the fabric as he soothed himself. His jaw worked as though he was going to alter his plans after all and suck cock until Silver was a begging, incoherent mess.

It wouldn’t be the worst of outcomes, really. Silver, at his most attentive, held his breath.

“You’ve been waiting for me?” Flint asked.

“Yes,” Silver breathed out.

Not having to lie was quite something. Excitement at the prospect of Flint sinking into him, filling him, heavy and thick, and fucking him open had his nipples perking up, his cockhead blurting out drops of precome with every tug and twist of his hand so that his palm produced a delicate, slick noise sliding up and down on his dick.

“Spent all week without letting anyone touch you--” Flint was relentless now, smoothing a hand down into the crook of Silver’s groin, running a fingertip over Silver’s knuckles and coaxing Silver’s fingertips to his tight little sphincter. “Where you need it most.”

A pulse of pure want swept through Silver when, lashes lifting, Flint locked eyes with him as he continued to probe for the truth. “Next time, you’re going to let me watch you stretch yourself open. Let me see how you try to stuff yourself with those gorgeously thick fingers of yours. Do you know how many you can take?”

Silver licked his dry lips. “Four, I think.”

Flint made a rumbly noise deep down in his throat. “I think you should try to take one more.” Eyes glinting, he leaned over Silver like something dangerous lowering itself to feed, filling Silver’s field of vision, his senses, with the sumptuous, dramatic delights of him. “Or would you want me to try for you?”

There was a lump in Silver’s throat that he could hardly swallow past. His breaths sounded harsh and shivery  to his ears as he kept jerking himself wetly with his legs spread open wide on Flint’s thighs.

In his line of work, he had done a lot of stuff, stuff that would make even a hardened pirate blush just hearing about it, so he couldn’t really say why this affected him so much or what about the situation had him so ready to shoot his load all of a sudden that speech was difficult, his tongue chasing fragments of words like crumbs around his mouth. If only there wasn’t space yet for one more doubloon at the top of his chest. If only he didn’t know exactly that Flint would give it to him if he kept going just a little longer.

Of all his clients, it was this man who agitated him the most, because he furthered the possibility of a life in which Silver’s future was not under the lock and key of someone else’s schemes like no other. With this much additional income laid out on his body, with it shimmering on his skin like sunken treasure or fool’s gold in a brook, Silver’s mind was awash in the glow of its potential. If only he could speed up the actualization of his plans.

“No,” he told Flint. “I want to try. While you watch.”

Flint looked pained somehow and pushed himself upright, taking up his former position, scrutinizing Silver. “What else would you try for me?”

A keen shock of pleasure jolted Silver’s body as the first of many ideas poured in. Monosyllabic Flint, who chose to lie back and say things like mount, waiting for Silver to swing his leg over, was much easier to deal with.

“How long would you keep yourself in such an agonizing state just to have this?” Flint asked, holding up the last doubloon between finger and thumb, mesmerizing Silver, who squirmed inside his skin and gasped wordlessly, with its gleam.

It seemed to take forever until he resolved the suspended moment and used the coin to complete the line that ran straight from Silver’s groin up to his throat. But finally, it came to rest cold on feverish skin.

Silver’s eyes rolled back in his head as the inevitability of his release pulled at his tendons like a cramp, gathered on the tip of his tongue behind his teeth. After one last thought in which he remembered to aim properly, he was gone, disappearing to that place inside his mind where it was quiet and peaceful, where he found bliss warming him through and through, and he was floating weightless, even as his climax wrenched at his core, forced his mouth open around a loud noise, and then ebbed, ever so abruptly.

Emerging from that state felt a bit like waking up in a foreign place. It took a long time to get reacquainted with the colours of the room, which were greying now, the sounds and the sweet, spicy smell of the brothel, the feel of his own limbs. Loss of tension let him sprawl like an ocean creature stranded by the tide. He wiggled his toes.

Above him, Flint was holding himself up with one arm. "I must say I’m impressed,” he said and gave Silver a small, but fetching, wink.

The coins, as they were being collected and set aside, sounded merry, sliding against one another. Silver wondered whether he’d truly earned all of them and reached for his neck, but Flint snatched his hand and calmed it with a kiss to its back. He had that look on his face, the one that had accumulated bit by bit. The one that softened his whole demeanour.

When Silver had first come to know the man, he couldn’t have guessed at its existence, finding him brusque and of a highly sceptical nature. But Silver knew a business opportunity when he saw one and rumour-laden Captain Flint had been well worth the effort.

Though Flint had been close to turning on his heel and walking out of Silver’s room even after it’d taken a month of intricate planning to get him there, he had then revealed himself determined to make the experience a pleasant one; a little bit rusty in responding to Silver’s advances, a little bit rough when he took Silver at first, filling him with a couple of impatient thrusts, but soon moving them like a dream, his strokes long and confident up to the finish, his kisses full of passion and appreciative little groans.

“You know what I like,” Silver said, letting a lazy smirk pull at his mouth.

Flint’s face twitched.

They had always been honest with each other about the nature of their arrangement and Flint, especially, had always seemed very pleased by the absence of any illusions, which was why Silver had used the demystification of his work as a handy tool and never been hesitant to mention his love of coin, but seeing Flint’s eyes now so mirthless in response made something dissatisfied squirm inside of him, urging him to amend his statement somehow.

With a hand on the back of his neck, Flint let himself be pulled down easily enough, but he evaded Silver’s seeking mouth by bending to taste the underside of his chin instead, nipping at the skin there, running his tongue across the stubble, his beard a not unwelcome caress as he placed kisses all the way to the dip at the base of Silver’s throat, licking Silver clean in the process. Silver, with his reasoning still reassembling itself, could not deny that Flint’s hand stroking down his side sparked exhilaration along the way and that being measured by its great span made him feel utterly claimed. And when that touch swept over the curve of his ass and lifted him off the bed so that Flint could fill his hand with one plump cheek and their bodies came sliding together with the smooth caress of skin on skin, he sighed contentedly, all remorse forgotten.

Flint interrupted his exploration and lifted his head. His face was flushed, his eyes glazed with lust. A couple of strands of his hair had sprung loose from their leather string and Silver, stifling his amusement at the sight, brushed them back with his hands, cradling the skull tenderly. Finally, he thought, teasing Flint’s hard-on with the slow drag of his hips. After all, Flint was paying for the privilege to be the only one to enjoy him that particular way, and not too little either since everyone was intrigued by what greater men desired but they themselves could not possess.

“I want to put my mouth on you,” Flint rasped, his fingers slipping down into the cleft between Silver’s buttocks. “Yeah?”  

Silver sucked in a breath, not expecting his cock to firm up again so soon. “By all means,” he said, dizzied by how fast he was then put onto his stomach and given a pillow to squish. 

When it came to parting with information, however, Flint was less generous. His commentary on the very latest was entertaining, but mostly scathing, as though he was reluctant to sound well-disposed towards anyone lest someone should accuse him of having a heart. So one could mainly tell how important a topic was to him by how much it strained him to keep his thoughts to himself and how dear someone was to him by how unhappy it made him to hear them mentioned unfavourably in gossip.

"I've got my eye on a prize that might prove a bit of a challenge," Flint had said.

Silver's ears had pricked up. He’d masked his interest with a saucy remark, but that sort of coquetry rarely gained any approval from Flint.

Standing in front of the cabinet, pouring a drink, watching it run into the cup like the clearest water, he considered the options available to him. He could offer to find a captain more suitable to the task and by doing so inflame Flint’s competitiveness splendidly, no doubt. Or he could offer reassurance by saying that most pirates on the island were only alive because they chose easy pickings whereas Flint’s skills were truly exceptional and that someone of his calibre had nothing to worry about. He could also choose to take a slightly more subtle approach and talk about the time he’d seen a fistfight break out after someone had insulted Flint's competence as a captain, use that opportunity to put his own thoughts on the tongues of strangers to find out what exactly such an experienced mariner deemed challenging. This could be the day he coaxed a lucrative lead out of one of the most tight-lipped of clients.

But he did none of these things and instead wondered aloud, "Why not take some other prize, then?"

"I’m afraid that, too, lies beyond choice,” Flint said.

It occurred to Silver that, while he was still barred from being a confidant, any worry that filtered through in Flint’s tone of voice would have to remain assuaged superficially. Sliding the bottle back onto the cherrywood shelf, he paused for a second before he corked it. Then he turned and slowly, on wobbly legs, crossed the room.

Flint, waiting for him on the edge of the bed, took the offered drink and downed a couple of swigs before he wetted a cloth with which he wiped at his beard. He was quiet, contemplative. But his gaze, flashing like crystal from beneath the heavy fringe of his eyelashes, travelled over Silver’s naked body in a manner that said his thirst was far from slaked.

Silver eased himself onto Flint’s lap.

Putting his head back, Flint studied him with unconcealed curiosity. His expression was open, wondering. His lips were parted, kissable. “You’re really not going to ask me about it?”

Silver considered his next words, the heart suddenly jumping in his chest.

[thechocobros]

“SEE LUNA SAFE TO ALTISSIA” - part 1 

Pair: Nyx Ulric / Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Words: 1722

Plot: Libertus warned Nyx about Glauca being Drautos, so Luna and Nyx didn’t fell in the Empire’s trap, Nyx didn’t had to use the ring and he survived. What would have happened if Nyx really had the chance to ‘see Luna safe to Altissia’, like he promised to Regis? 

Personal Comment: Since I really had a ton of unexpected encouragement, I decided to write this fic. This is only the first part as you can see and it’s also very short, but please let me know what do you think. thanks to the lovely @loveiscosmicsin for the collaboration. This fic will probably took me an eternity, guys, please be patient. Enjoy! <3

Lunafreya sat in a corner of the street, concealed by some dilapidated building. She really needed to catch her breath, it was that sole reason why the Oracle and the Glaive had stopped for a moment. She lifted her gaze from her hands, watching the sky beyond the smoke. 

 "Nyx Ulric … The wall is gone. Insomnia has fallen.“ She whispered with a sad look  of resignation. Nyx Ulric stood up right beside her and didn’t answer a thing. He was sad too though in a very different way. He was somehow angry and frustrated. Without the king’s magic, he was powerless to do anything else but stay by the princess, the last order he had been given. He took a deep breath and put the hands on her shoulders, trying to warm her up a bit while his eyes explored the area for possible dangers.

“We have to keep going, haven’t we?” She asked, shivering at the Glaive’s touch.

“Yeah. We must get out of the city before the Empire finds us. We’re almost there. Can you still move?" 

Luna was slightly injured, but it was nothing compared to the uneasiness of her heart. Her hope was still there but with the death of King Regis - a dear friend who always had been present in her fondest memories of childhood- she really lost a father figure in which she used to trust. "Don’t worry,” she replied, touching the gunshot wound on her shoulder. “A scratch won’t stop me." 

"Let’s move then." 

Nyx pulled her up delicately and together they walked fast until they saw the frontier. A huge crowd was pulling from everywhere, trying to get out of Insomnia, the city condemned to destruction. Desperation, fear, and anxiety were painted on their faces. Nobody was expecting such a madness right in the same day in which the treaty had to be signed. Luna and Nyx looked at them, disturbed by the tense atmosphere. 

"Look, I chose this frontier because it shouldn’t be so very well guarded but a lot of people probably thought the same. Masses are unstable. We can take advantage of the confusion, but we also have to be more careful. Stay close to me, keep your eyes down, and trust me." 

"Magitek troops are in position, looking for us.” Luna squeezed her fist tightly, the Ring of the Lucii imprinting on her palm. If the Empire set up a checkpoint, they have no hope of passing inspections. “We can’t pass.”

“I knocked off hundreds of empties back in my military experience. They think like a hive together than apart. We can pass unnoticed or we can trick them.” Nyx gave her a thumbs up and a cocky grin. “I’ll manage somehow." 

"Without your powers?" 

"Thank you for reminding me of it every three minutes, princess.”

She tried to smile and then she decided to trust him. After all, he guarded her well until now, even without his magic. They acted very quickly: Nyx lead Luna holding her by her elbow right in the center of the crowd, pushing people aside so she could pass. Someone protested but he didn’t care. In five minutes, they found themselves face to face with some MTs, but they were strangely still. 

 "Maybe it’s our lucky day.”

"After all we went through, I highly doubt we can call it ‘lucky’." 

"Okay, let’s just say we had luck in this very specific occasion.” Nyx was still speaking when a Magitek suddenly opened his eyes and stared right at them. That was so terrifying that both Nyx and Luna boggled. An alarm started to sound in the air. “How the hell …?” Nyx took his kukri out and in the same time he pushed the princess ahead, barking a single order, “Run!”

Luna didn’t wait for the Glaive to repeat himself. She immediately ran ahead, ignoring her prior exhaustion and the shooting pain in her feet. Nyx slammed his fist in one of the MT’s face, ready to do the same with every one of the them if it was the case. He had to clear the way - which was enormously hard to do without his warp magic - and when he thought he almost did it, in that very moment a better armed soldier appeared in the distance, shooting at him. Nyx didn’t even feel the pain immediately, he only noticed his left arm bleeding under the sleeve. “Damn” he cursed, hating the sight of his own blood. That wouldn’t have happened if he still had his powers. 

“Nyx!” The princess stopped in the middle of the road as she saw him being hurt. 

“What are you doing? Keep running!" 

"More Magitek soldiers are coming!”

Nyx lift his head and he noticed that Luna was right. In the chaos of the fight, he didn’t hear the engines getting closer. This was bad and it could have get even worse if a black car wouldn’t have appeared in the distance. At first Nyx thought it was another imperial enemy, but as the car got closer, he started to feel hope again. 

A short man dressed in white came out of the car, speaking in a very evident accent from Tenebrae: "Princess, take this car and use it to escape!“ 

"Rufus!” Luna screamed in relief as she recognized her personal chauffeur. “What do you want to do?" 

"I’ll distract them somehow, but if we lose you we lose everything. You have to go!”

 Nyx immediately felt sorry for ignoring him two days before, when he met Lunafreya for the first time and took her away from him just to follow Drautos’ instructions. That short and showy man clearly was braver than Nyx gave him credit for. 

“Thank you, Rufus. I won’t forget this,” Luna said, as she stepped back, took Nyx’s good arm and pulled him to the car. 

“We can’t leave this poor man here to die” Nyx replied, seeing her intentions. He was pretty certain that Rufus would have been mortally wounded in 0.2 seconds if he stood alone against the empire. 

“Nyx, I need YOU to come with me.” The way she pronounced his name was ambiguous. Maybe it was a plea, maybe it was request, maybe it was a supplication. She seemed worried. She looked afraid. Yet, her voice was gentle, strong, and determined. “Can you drive me out of this city? Please?" 

Nyx didn’t even try to deny her something that was his duty anyway. Trying to stop the blood on his arm with a hand, he entered in the car and assured that the princess was safe in the backseat. He glanced at Rufus for a second before he pushed the clutch, gaining speed very fast. A Magitek ship shot at them, but the car resisted pretty well and the Empire wasn’t ready to see them leave on the wheels. 

 "Your chauffeur is a dead man now” Nyx mumbled after five minutes, looking straight ahead. His conscience didn’t settle with the idea of ‘we didn’t have a choice’. He would have regret abandoning him for ages. In fact, Luna didn’t seem feeling right about it either. She just sat in the backseat, hands covering her face, maybe hiding some silent tears. A deep hush went on for a long time. In the end, Nyx decided he had to say something. “Nobody is following us. I guess we took them by surprise, so that’s an advantage for us. Still, it’s just a matter of time before they start tracking us down again." 

"I have to heal your wound” she said out of nowhere, lowering her hands and showing her tired, pretty face. 

“You what …?” Nyx looked at her in the rearview mirror. “No, I’m fine.”

“I can heal your wound. Inside the crown city’s protocol I am the former princess of Tenebrae, but outside of it I am known as the Oracle. So healing people it’s my duty." 

"That’s not the problem. We just can’t stop now. When we will arrive at Hammerhead maybe… it should be safe there." 

"Hammerhead is two hours away from Insomnia and you will bleed to death in the meantime. Please, Nyx Ulric. I’m worried." 

Disarmed by her firm kindness, Nyx muttered something unclear and pulled over the car. 'Please’, that magic word was literally everything she needed to say to make him obey like a little puppy. It happened before, it happened now, he feared that it will happen again in the future. 

"I hope you’re happy now, princess,” he commented, determined to complain as long as possible about Luna’s decision to stop in such a crucial moment. 

 "I will when your arm will stop bleeding.“ They both got out of the car. Luna moved in circle until she reached the Glaive’s side. Without saying another word she took off his jacket and examined the wound, causing him moaning in pain. "Oh, this could wait, right?” She asked in a very sarcastic tone. 

“In my defense I can say I didn’t think it was that bad." He replied cheekily.

Nyx was lucky, having the Oracle with him because no potion would have been enough with that bullet hole. Luna sighed. She covered the terrible wound with one gentle hand and with the other she cupped his cheek. Nyx stopped breathing for a moment: Luna seemed having in her daily routine the physical contact with her patients, but for him it was a brand new procedure. As she touched his forehead with hers, all he could think about was the warmth of her skin and the sweet smell of her breath. The operation took her a couple of minutes, in which she murmured prayers in foreign words that the Glaive couldn’t start to imagine their translation. Nyx didn’t move at all because he didn’t want to compromise her professionalism with some inappropriate comments. That was all she was. Professional. Nothing else. So his heart should have stopped beating so fast now. 

"How do you feel now?” she asked.

Nyx looked at the wound: there was a subtle scar where the hole used to be, but the pain was gone. 

“Much… better. Thank you, princess.” Luna sighed in relief this time and only then Nyx noticed the bead of sweat trailing down her neck. She suddenly looked so tired. “What about you?" 

 "I am fine. Healing other people cause me some discomfort, but nothing to worry about. I just need some rest.” She stood unsteadily on her feet and took a deep breath. “I’m sure I have some clean clothes in the luggage van. I’ll change and then we can leave. Hammerhead?" 

 Nyx looked at her. It was his turn to be worried. "Hammerhead.”

[canaryatlaw]

Well today was fine, though I'm in sort of a somber mood now just because I'm so frustrated by everything that's going on in our country. I just feel so helpless. Were I a real lawyer, you bet your ass I would be down at the airport working to get people out of detainment, but I'm not a real lawyer, and there's nobody I can work under in this circumstance, even if I can write a kick ass habeas petition. Sigh. Almost there. I'm glad lawyers are stepping up and changing things. They let everyone who was being held at O'Hare go, so that makes me happy for Chi. And of course I'm proud the stay was issued out of my home city. It's not hopeless, we just have to keep fighting. Sigh, I don't want to rant about this too much because I could keep going for hours. Anyway. Alarm was set for 11:15, which seemed to be a good time to wake up and not be too exhausted, lol. Ate breakfast, got ready, and walked to the train. Still cold, but not as bad as yesterday thank god. I had a little soreness in my abs from yesterday, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was when I hurt them over the summer thankfully, because that was horrible (lying down hurt like hell). So hopefully this will go to knowing my limits and not pushing myself too much (even if I really want abs). Took the train to school, and met up with the people from PAD mock trial. They kept like, being super thankful to me for stepping up and helping haha which was sweet. They were mostly 1L's, which is what I expected. So we get started and split into our two "teams," each with four members, two prosecution and two defense (this obviously wouldn't verse each other in a round, but make up one team). We were going through the defense case in chief, and they were very much, well, 1L's. And I'm not trying to be an asshole when I say that, it's just that they haven't had evidence yet and they don't know things like objections or admitting stuff into evidence or how to impeach, so I kind of had to chill out and let them figure that out for a while, but it was fine. The girl on the prosecution of my team isn't a regular 1L, she's in some alternative program, I would guess a dual degree or a two year JD, and she's in evidence now so that should be helpful. But yeah, it was fine, just directing my witness which is pretty basic being that I've done it numerous times at this point. We finished up with some objection practice, where the coach would ask a series of questions and have us object when we found something objectionable, and I was of course trying to let the other ones answer, but I got pretty much all of them one way or another haha. So not bad at all. The coach we have is the PAD president from last year, and I happen to know she's quite fond of me so that always helps. I knew she does some education law work with like IEP's and such (like fighting for a kid's right to get one) and given last night's development I wanted to see if she knew anything about title IX stuff, so we walked out together and ended up taking the red line to our respective homes. She doesn't work with much title IX stuff in her job, but she knew it from her civil rights law class. So I explained the situation, and she told me about one case they read where a teacher at a catholic school filed a lawsuit for sexual harassment and the school fired her because they claimed she violated their religious belief in "supporting the community" or some bullshit like that, and she didn't remember how it came out but she would send it to me, so that was good. Other than that we just talked about other law stuff, like passing the bar and all that. Apparently she works with a lot of foster kids as well, because she technically works for a social work agency. But yeah, took the train back home and I was pretty beat by the time I got there, I think it's just making that substantial walk in the cold that really tends to tire me out, so I wasn't exactly in the mood to do any reading. I checked my assignments for the week and I have like 50 pages each for trial ad and crim pro (I've given up on reading for mission based lawyering) which isn't terrible but I should probably still get started on it tonight, but...I didn't want to, so I didn't, lol. My roommate was home for the night, and it's kind of rare that we're both home any given night so that was cool. I ordered pizza because I fucking wanted pizza, and we watched a couple house of cards episodes (she's been watching it, I've never seen it before but it seems up my alley from what I saw) and then decided to watch minority report the movie, because after watching the tv series that's largely a sequel to it I of course wanted to see the source material. It was....interesting. Not really what I expected. I guess I thought it would be more about the system itself, not about this one guy running from the police for like 3/4ths of the movie haha. But it was an interesting plot, plenty complicated and a bit hard to follow at times, but overall it worked pretty well and I was happy with it. At the end they definitely make it sound like Agatha is not related to the twins (with the whole "her mother was coming for her" thing) but of course in the tv series they're all portrayed as siblings, so that was interesting. It's already such a complex idea, so for the twist to be even more complicated than that with finding the hole in the system was just like, rather mind boggling haha but overall it was pretty good. So when that was over I of course wanted to watch the last episode of the tv series that I had left, which was also interesting. I knew we weren't going to get as much closure as I was hoping for, but for what it's worth they did a fairly good job tying up loose ends. I had to wonder at what point did they get the cancel notice, and how long were they originally planning to make it, because the whole genetic modification as the main villain thing kind of came out of nowhere somewhere around episode 7 and then becomes the focus of the show. I liked the characters though, and it was a good story, so I can appreciate that. Not sure what I'll watch next, maybe crazy ex-girlfriend. We'll see. And yeah, that was my day. I'm excited to go to church tomorrow and get to hold babies, because that's pretty much the best part of my week at this point 😂 (I just really love babies, okay, and we don't see many of them in law school). So I'm looking forward to that. And yeah, we'll see how the rest of the day goes. My eyes want to close now so I am going to let them do so. Goodnight babes. Hope you had a lovely Saturday.

[pameluke]

a year in writing: 2016 review

Total number of completed stories: 22 

Total word count: 60799

Chronological breakdown:

January  Leverage, The Triple A Job, OT3 Anniversary shenanigans, written for Holly Poly

February The Losers/Kate Daniels Series crossover, Technical Difficulties, Cougar and Jensen meet Kate, written for Chocolate Box

March Brooklyn Nine-Nine, First Aid, Venti Chai Latte Extra Sugar, Throw-Down, Rosa & Amy, Three ficlets about their friendship, written for Purimgifts

April Shadowhunters, Take My Hands And Close Your Eyes, Alec/Magnus, First Date, First fic for the new pairing and fandom of my heart. SW: The Force Awakens, A Force To Be Reckoned With, Poe/Finn/Rey, Threesome sex with the Force!, written for Smutswap, my first smut ever :) SW: The Force Awakens, Open Doors, Open Hearts, Poe/Finn/Rey moving in together. Written for Ship Swap.

May Shadowhunters, A Positive Result, Alec/Magnus, Magnus & Alec & Jace, Magnus dealing with parabatai shenanigans

June River Lea - Adele, reeds growing out of my fingertips, water demons and possessions, written for Jukebox Spartacus (1960), Sing, Antoninus, Antoninus/Spartacus, written for myoldfandom

July Shadowhunters, all that is loved does now glitter, Alec/Magnus, Glitter Marking and Sex Magic, written for not_primetime Shadowhunters, Double The Trouble, Alec/Magnus, Izzy/Simon, the dangers of double dating, written for not_primetime

August Shadowhunters, Nothing In The World, Alec & Izzy, Missing scene Shadowhunters, Glitter By The Water Front, Alec/Magnus, Kate Daniels Fusion Meet Cute, written for Malec Week Shadowhunters, When She Talks, I Hear Revolution, Izzy/Lydia, co-written with @thisissirius and @canadiansuperhero , underground radio, rebellion and romance, written for pod_together, also voiced a Seelie OC.

September Shadowhunters, a little too much, could never be enough, Alec/Magnus, jewellery kink and blowjobs, first part of the Magnus’ Dick Is His Demon Mark series, written for iddyiddybangbang

October Aliens/Pacific Rim, Running Out Of Days, Ripley/Hicks, Ripley finds a new Drift Partner, while mourning her first one, written for crossovering Kate Daniels Series, True Nature, Kate/Curran, Monsters and Magic in a Labyrinth, written for trickortreatex

November One of my goals was to post a story every month, but November sucked balls on a personal and global scale, so I failed. Did work on Yuletide and other fics, just didn’t finish anything, alas.

December Shadowhunters, ever the tears you wept, Alec/Magnus, my take on soulmate fic where one half is immortal Shadowhunters, Armchairs and Paperwork, Alec/Magnus, domestic make-outs on furniture King Arthur (2004), Wild Horses, Bors/Dagonet/Vanora, Dagonet Lives! Featuring the Sarmatian Threesome of my heart. Written for Yuletide.

Other Things I Wrote A weird half fic, half headcanon thing about Alec Following His Heart, Dairy Farmer Level.

So many Dear Author letters for exchanges, I’m always embarrassed about my long-windedness.

Still Stuck In The WIP Folder A treat for Yuletide that I’m only half way in, will probably try and finish it either for NYR, or stalk my recip and see if they request it in another fic exchange to treat them there.

The RomCom I started for Unconvential Courtship, in which Alec and Magnus only get together years later at the Clace Wedding, and need to Fake Date For Political Reasons. Currently at 13k, 5 chapters in, at least 10 to go.

The Cupid AU in which Alec is a cupid who shoots Magnus for someone else in 1700, cue 400 years of pining. 2k in, got boggled down by historical research and magic wordlbuilding.

The Chess Date, sequel to the First Date Fic, 1k so far, but got stuck.

About 5k worth of various outlines and plotideas, including the Phoenix!Alec fic, a bunch of fic ideas for the World Inverted AU, the Izzy and Alec are parabatai fic, more Kate Daniels fusion, and the DragonHeart AU which I plan to co-write with siri.

So much to write and finish!

Overall Thoughts: Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

This year I published more words than in all my other years of fandom combined! Other milestones include: posted over 100k words total to my AO3, posted my first smut (which also was my first PWP), and participated in over 10 challenges. I also think I wrote more this year than I ever did before, but I’m not entirely sure because I didn’t count words for unfinished things in 2015.

Wrote exactly 0 words original work this year, which I didn’t see coming either. Guess the new fandom took it all out of me.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Shadowhunters, the new shiny fandom of my heart. I didn’t expect I’d ever feel about a show like I did about Spartacus, and it’s not completely the same, but fuck I am INVESTED, and I am still super inspired. It’s just a canon with many many hooks for me to grab on to, and I guess I have. Only two more stories to go, and it’s officially the fandom I’ve written most for, never did see that coming.

Did you take any writing risks this year? 

I wouldn’t call it risk taking per se, but I did leave my comfort zone and had a bunch of fanfic first times. I wrote Star Wars (which is super intimidating fandom wise for some reason), I actually wrote for a lot of fandoms I hadn’t written for before. I wrote smut and PWP, and I even wrote a fill for a kinkmeme.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? 

Goal for next year is definitely to let my kink flag fly more, and write the things I’d like to see more of. Try my hand at some f/f smut. 

I’d really like to keep writing steadily, so I’ve signed up for Get Your Words Out, to keep my output steadily.

I also really want to finish my WIPS, especially the RomCom, because First Chaptered Story if I do. 

And I’d like to get back into my Original Work. I actually have a lot of half finished stories and plot outlines lying around, I really want to finish something next year.

On the wishlist is also to participate in NaNoWriMo again next year, but the job might get in the way of that alas.

From my past year of writing, what was...

My favorite story of the year:

Fuck this is hard, because I’m one of those people that writes mostly to still my own hunger, so I tend to really like my own stories (I laugh a lot at my own jokes as well). I guess it would be all that is loved does now glitter, because it gets me right in the id of feelings. It’s the story of myself I’ve reread most. Also, slap fights.

My best story of this year:

I think reeds growing out of my fingertips. I thought if the basic plotline while driving through four european countries at night, and the last image, of the posessed girl diving off the damm was the first thing I came up with. Jukebox is very close to origfic, and I think I really got the creepiness and plot right with this one.

My most popular story of this year: 

By hits, kudos, comments and bookmarks all that is loved does now glitter wins by a landslide. I guess because it’s porn with feelings and features Magnus being his magical self.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: 

Sing, Antoninus for the Kubrick Spartacus. I adapted Latin Poetry for this story, yo. I love all things Spartacus, but the Kubrick movie is very precious to me, and I wish more people still felt that way. Alas, there’s not much of a fandom for this movie, so no one thinks of looking up fic for it.

Most fun story to write: 

Sometimes I really like cracky fic, and I tend to be the only one who finds myself funny, so probably either the Dairy Farmer Thing, or A Positive Result. The funnest experience was totally working together with Siri and Ray for Podtogether though, nothing beats that.

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

Alec coming because Magnus’ toe ring scrapes his calf in a little too much could never be enough. Runner up would probably be Alec kissing Magnus’ toe ring in the same story. Magnus and his jewellery is pretty much the sexiest thing in fandom, imo.

Story with single sweetest moment:

If we’re going for sweetest then I’d pick Izzy distracting Alec with fashion choices in Nothing In This World, because all the Sibling Feelings always. If we’re going for sappiest then I’d pick the Beauty & the Beast Library scene from Take My Hand And Close Your Eyes because Magnus being magical with his magical mood lightning and Alec being in awe.

Hardest story to write:

Definitely A Force To Be Reckoned with, because Star Wars is intimidating as fuck to write for if you never have written in that canon before. Plus there was the whole first time smut writing aspect, and the sex with the Force thing, so I struggled a lot. Still super pleased with the end result though.

Easiest story to write: Glitter By The Waterfront practically wrote itself. I just really love writing in the Kate Daniels setting (I wish it took off like Hogwarts AUs, honestly, it's just so fun, and the magic is so awesome), and Alec and Magnus fit so well there. I pretty much wrote it in a day which almost never happens. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  Before writing Running Out Of Days, I never really took Ripley's grief for her daughter into account. Or well, I knew she was mourning, but it wasn't part of the emotional impact for me. Writing Amanda as both Ripley's daughter and the Drift Partner she lost really hammered that home for me though, and I now watch Aliens differently.

Favorite Title: all that is loved does now glitter, with miles ahead. I'm just proud of thinking of it, it fits Magnus and the story so well, and it's the only title I ever got a compliment about (and by someone not even into the fandom! although I lured them in by now). I'm just ridiculously fond of it. Favourite Opening Line:  The song of her sisters is sweet and mellow, a brook flowing over pebbles, made round and soft by water and time. (x) Favourite Closing Line: “I don’t need to find them,” he said and kissed Magnus again. “I’m already the happiest I can be. I picked you.” (x)

Favorite Line from Anywhere: Here in this bathroom, while he looks like a disco ball threw up on him, with Magnus standing next to him, looking soft and thoroughly bedded and touching him so tenderly, he truly, finally feels like he belongs. (x)

Fic-writing goals for 2016: 

Write a minimum of 75k Post a story every month Finish at least one WIP of over 10k  

[danielletimmons]

What the heck am I, anyway?

I’m like that drab sort-a gray that occurs when two colors mix. I’m neither black nor white. I’m like this great flavor that’s been watered down with another ingredient so you’re not really sure exactly what the taste profile is.  For years, I’ve struggled to understand my identity.   My father is 100% Italian, and my mom is 100% Puerto Rican. Both cultures permeate strength -- mentally, physically and through characteristics.  And my sister and I land squarely in the middle of these two culture clashing. As a child growing up in this mixed home, I always felt the push/pull of both sides of the family – equally jockeying to dominate the other.  Both grandmothers were the backbone of their families (physically and emotionally); both had family-centric cultures with plenty of cousins and extended families to love and love me in return; both shared a strong love for their native cultures; and both had wonderful cuisines that would envelop our home.

My Italian grandparents have interesting stories. My grandmother (or Nonna in Italian), was northern Italian and hailed from a small town (and I mean really small because I’ve actually been there) outside of Pisa called Vicopisano.  Her parents were both Italian immigrants, and even though she was born in America in 1911, she had traveled by ship with her two older sisters to visit her grandmother in Vicopisano when she was just 2 years old. But World War One broke out, and forced her and his sisters to live with their grandmother in this small, poor town for seven years. That’s seven years without her parents, who went on to have plenty of kids in America while she lived in Italy. And that’s seven years of getting a fig or orange in her stocking for Christmas. That’s seven years of dipping bread into 1 egg yolk for breakfast, which she had to split with her sisters.  That’s seven years of having to draw water from a well and walking the bucket up and down the hills of Vicopisano, while wearing shoes made of wood.   When finally she could safely make the journey across the Atlantic back to America, she sobbed as they dragged her away from her grandmother – the only mother she really knew and as the story unfolded, the only mother she would ever truly love who loved her unconditionally. She came to this country as an American citizen but couldn’t speak or write in English.  And although a citizen, she was forced to endure the hardships as so many before her, sailing into Ellis Island. When she entered the school system, she was called a Whop and a Dago and profusely made fun of because of her accent. Yet she was a citizen.

My Italian grandfather (or Nonno), was quite different from the woman he was destined to marry. His parents were immigrants from the island of Sicily, and he was born on American soil. He was without question an American with little Italian accent.  In fact, I’m not sure he could speak Italian because I seldom heard him speak it. Let’s say he didn’t seem to speak it as fluently as my grandmother. His parents were poor but seeded in him a deep, religious faith to be grateful to God for everything.  In his heart, he wanted to be a priest. It was his passion. But the Catholic Church in the 1920s was different than today.  While attending school to become a priest, he was dismissed when the Church uncovered he was, in fact, a bastard. His parents had immigrated to America as a married couple but never actually got married because my great grandfather was legally married to someone else in Italy when he left.  Talk about the sins of the father affecting the children... I also find it fascinating the Church was tremendously successful at tracking down my grandfather’s lineage – which is pretty good in 1920s --but couldn’t/wouldn’t piece together the decades of sexual abuse children sustained at the hands of priests who were no better than animals.  After receiving the crushing blow, my Nonno opted to attend school to become a bookkeeper, which earned him a nice living.  He went on to meet my grandmother and asked for her hand in marriage. My grandmother’s father and mother, however, said no because they considered my wonderful grandfather a dirty Sicilian. A man, who’s first love was Christ, was deemed not worthy to marry my grandmother. It boggles my mind. It seems times really haven’t changed that much when you think about it.  But my grandparents went on to get married without her parents in attendance at the wedding.   And my grandfather became devoted in service to a local Catholic Church in Richmond. In fact, he spent so much time at the church that my grandmother grew to hate and despise that church. Jealous much, Nonna? The Church was, after all, his first love.

Their story ends when my grandmother died unexpectedly on 12/31/2003 and my grandfather, who was very sick, died 1/1/2004 – different decade, less than 18 hours a part. That’s what real love looks like, folks – 67 years of enduring good and bad times but hanging in there to get the sweet fruit at the end.

That’s 50% of me.

The other 50% is just as complicated and fascinating.  My Puerto Rican grandmother (or Nana as I called her), has such a complicated past that I could write a novel about it. I’ve always thought of her as our family’s strong matriarch yet that were something fragile about her.  She was born in Puerto Rico, but her parents were immigrants from Spain.  Although I’ve always considered her Puerto Rican, she had different physical characteristics than other Puerto Ricans I’ve met that I could never quite figure out. She had 1 failed marriage that resulted in two beautiful girls, whom she had to give up when she left the abusive man, who was also a local police man.  Times were different in Puerto Rico in the 1920s and 30s. I don’t think they had a strong internal affairs department.  She went on to meet my grandfather, whom she fell madly in love with. She gave him 3 children, including my mom. My Nana, who thankfully passed on her ability to cook amazing Puerto Rican food to my mom, couldn’t speak much English. In fact, she was very shy around new people because she was never confident about her skills to speak English.  She didn’t say much, but when she spoke, they were always powerful words that spoke to your heart.  She suffered from congestive heart failure and rheumatoid arthritis. I don’t think she weighed 100 lbs soaking wet.  Nana was always calm, pure and genuine. I only saw her cry once. It’s when she told me the story of having to give up her two girls to save her own life.

My grandfather (or Papi) is another interesting figure with a checkered past. Although there’s some question about his lineage, based on my mother’s research through Ancestry.com, it looks like he may have been part Taino Indian (native to Puerto Rico) and part African American (a legacy from the slave trade back in the 1700/1800s). Like my grandmother, he too had been married and had 2 boys with his first wife. When they divorced, he took his boys, met my grandmother, and they got married.  My grandfather was in the military, so he was transferred from base to base all across the world, taking his family with him. He served in 2 wars, including World War II and Korea.  He died when I was only 10 years old, so I have little memories of him. But of the few I do have, he could make anything; he could fix anything; and he had a green thumb. This can also describe my mother to a tee.  Genetics are strong and undeniable.  He was a man of few words, but when he spoke, he commanded respect. I can still hear him telling me in a firm and gruff voice to “Opaga la luz!” when I left a room – translation – “Turn off the light.”  He loved his beer and his cigarettes, which eventually caught up to him in the end.  He was the dominate force in my mother’s house growing up, but when he died, my grandmother found her voice.  She stepped into the role of matriarch like one steps into a new pair of comfortable shoes.  

So am I more Italian? Or am I more Puerto Rican? How do I fill out those damn surveys and applications when it asks for my race?  Am I Caucasian or Hispanic?  And am I American?  My mother preached to me growing up that not a drop of American blood courses through our veins. She took great pride that her offspring weren’t American.

You can see why I’ve lived in a confused hybrid state.  As I get older, I reflect on my ancestry and find myself less focused on which nationality I am reflective of (Italian, Puerto Rican, American) and more focused on the pride I feel that I confidently know all three cultures are deep down in my core.  The truth is some days, I look, feel and act more Italian; the next day, I look, feel and act more Puerto Rican, and the third day I find myself firmly entrenched in American cultures.  Although I know I’m a half-breed (I say very lovingly), I’m so incredibly proud of my roots, the cultures they each have, the stories each has imparted to me over the years and the tradition each culture carries. I rejoice in my ability to seamlessly cook Nonna’s rigatoni or my mother’s rice and beans. I celebrate those moments when my Puerto Rican temper gets the best of me when I need to defend my family member’s honor.  I secretly laugh when my Italian side comes through as I plot my silent revenge on someone who’s committed an atrocity against my family.  

Although the cultures that burst out of me are different, the 1 commonality they share that I most revere is their love of family.  Putting family first is the one constant tradition that my nationalities have taught me. It’s what my grandparents demonstrated over their lives, and it’s the one tradition I’ve seen come through strong with my sister, cousins and extended family.   In the end, it doesn’t really matter if I’m more Italian, more Puerto Rican or more American. The truth is I’m all three in equal parts. And I’d like to think I reflect the best of each culture.  The cultures infused in me have provided a wealth of tools I can use.  I just need to be smart enough to know when to pull out the tools as I ebb and flow through life.

[char27martin]

After the Debut: 3 Things I’ve Learned, with Emily Littlejohn

[Can you impress us in 1500 words or less? Enter the Short Short Story Competition today! Deadline January 15, 2018]

by Emily Littlejohn

You’ve signed off on the final edits to your debut novel. Your agent and your editor are already hearing positive early reviews and a couple of big name authors have offered glowing blurbs. You pour a celebratory glass of champagne and kick back on the sofa. You did it. You wrote a novel and landed a two-book contract. It’s easy street from here on out, kid.

Then your eyes stray to the calendar hanging on the wall, the kind that with a single glance shows you the next twelve months. Twelve long months to write the next book. Plenty of time.

Of course, there is that two-week European vacation in the spring, not to mention the lengthy out of state work conference you’re chairing. And to be honest, between the day job, the kids, and all the shows the family is streaming, it’s hard to get much writing done during the week. You’ll write on the weekends. No problem.

Lately, though, the weekends seem to fly by.

Still, surely you can squeeze in a few hours here and there.

Suddenly twelve months seems like a very short time.

***

I wrote my debut novel, Inherit the Bones, over the course of three long years. It was a hobby, a lark. At the time, I was working forty-plus hours a week at a regular day job and spending most of my free time with friends and family. I’d go weeks without touching my laptop and then when the muse struck, I’d sometimes wile away entire weekends puttering around in the fictional world I had created.

Long story short, I finished Bones and signed with an amazing agent, Pamela Ahearn of The Ahearn Agency. To my complete astonishment and joy, Ahearn sold Bones in a two-book deal. Before I knew it, what had been a private hobby was suddenly very public, with deadlines and schedules. Most mind-boggling of all: I had to submit a second book, in less than a year.

Happily, not only did I meet my deadlines and complete the follow-up to my debut novel, A Season to Lie, I learned a few things along the way.

Meet Deadlines

One of the first things I learned while writing my second book is that deadlines exist for a reason. Traditionally published novels have many moving pieces to them; pitches, edits, cover design, printing, creating advance reader copies… all of these and more are steps along the way as a book marches from an author’s word document to the final version in the reader’s hands.

What does that mean for an author?

Making those deadlines is critical.

And make no mistake: writing a novel to a deadline is very, very different from tinkering around on a manuscript here and there. Life, in the form of regular employment, family obligations, and heck, even meals, has a funny way of interrupting your writing. If you haven’t already carved out dedicated time to work on your second book, it is imperative to do so now. For some, that means waking up early to get a few hours of writing in while the kids are still asleep. For others, weekend activities like movies and sporting events need to take a backseat to plotting and drafting.

[Online Course: 12 Weeks to a First Draft with Terri Valentine]

What helped me tremendously was setting a goal of about 1500 words per writing session. I knew there would be days when I simply would not be able to sit down and write; a daily word count goal, then, would have been frustrating. Instead, I promised myself that on those days when I did get to my laptop, I would write at least 1500 words. Most of the time, I found that I exceeded the goal. And page by page, my novel grew in length. As my page count increased, the deadlines didn’t seem so… deadly.

Fall in Love with Your Characters 

While meeting deadlines as you write your second novel can feel like added pressure, getting to better know your series’ recurring characters is downright fun. In my mysteries, like many others, murder and mayhem move the plot forward… but the characters are what readers return for. In A Season to Lie, I loved exploring the relationships and back stories of Detective Gemma Monroe, her loved ones, and her colleagues on the police force. For instance, things that are hinted at in Inherit the Bones between Monroe and her romantic partner, Brody Sutherland, became necessary to tease to the forefront in A Season to Lie.

[6 Tips for Creating Believable Characters That Win Over Readers]

Coincidentally, one of the greatest things about writing a series in the mystery genre is possessing the ability to kill off characters you fall out of love with… or those that you never liked to begin with. My husband is always relieved when he finishes one of my books and sees that the romantic interest is still kicking… though he knows that I’m an equal opportunist and should the story demand it, well… let’s just say I believe everyone’s a suspect and everyone’s a potential victim.

The second book of a series is truly prime real estate for character development. You’ve laid the groundwork in the first book yet you’re still early enough in the series that your characters aren’t so formed that they are unable to change. I encourage you to have fun with that, to add in bits and pieces of backstory as you move the story forward.

Publicity is the Name of the Game

Debut authors are like pizza… everyone wants a slice. As you are writing towards completion of your second novel, marketing will be ramping up for the publication of your debut novel. That translates to invitations for guest blog posts, guest articles, interviews, author events, and so on. All wonderful things that can take your attention away from finishing the second novel.

I said yes to every invitation I received, as will you. Of course you will. There are few things more exciting for an author than getting to talk about your work. A word of caution, though, especially if you are writing mysteries: keep your storylines straight. You are perfectly aware that the beloved butler introduced in the first book is brutally disposed of in the second book… but readers of your interview-blog post- Facebook status update haven’t even read the first book yet.

Spoil nothing yet provide enough intrigue to entice all. And before you know it, you’ll be working on your third novel with an eye towards your fourth.

EMILY LITTLEJOHN was born and raised in southern California and now lives in Colorado. If she’s not writing, reading, or working at the local public library, she’s enjoying the mountains with her husband and sweet old dog. She has a deep love of horror stories, butter pecan ice cream, and road trips. A Season to Lie is her second novel, following Inherit the Bones. Follow her on Facebook.

Writer’s Digest Digital Archive Collection: Iconic Women Writers

For nearly 100 years, Writer’s Digest magazine has been the leading authority for writers of all genres and career levels. And now, for the first time ever, we’ve digitized decades of issues from our prestigious archives to share with the world. In this, the first of our series of archive collections, discover exclusive historic interviews with classic women authors including Maya Angelou, Pearl S. Buck, Margaret Atwood, Joyce Carol Oates and Joan Didion—and much, much more. Featuring five stunning issues spanning more than 60 years, this collection is perfect for writers, literary enthusiasts, educators and historians. Explore what’s inside.

The post After the Debut: 3 Things I’ve Learned, with Emily Littlejohn appeared first on WritersDigest.com.

from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/breaking-in-writers-digest/debut-novel-things-ive-learned-emily-littlejohn-meet-deadlines

[placetobenation]

Welcome to Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch! On a regular basis, JT Rozzero, Aaron George, Andrew Flanagan, Jordan Duncan and Jason Greenhouse will watch an episode of TV’s greatest sitcom and provide notes and grades across a number of categories. The goal is to rewatch the entire series chronologically to see what truly worked, what still holds up today, what feels just a bit dated and yada, yada, yada it will be a great time. So settle into your couch with the cushions flipped over, grab a Snapple and enjoy the ride!

  Best Character

JT: Some strong work across the board here but Kramer was next level. Watching him descend from happy-go-lucky Uncle Sam from Anytown, USA into a robotic madman was a joy. Every little movement, piece of dialogue and facial expression was geared toward showing him crumbling from the inside. It was an inspired performance that wonderfully blended physical comedy and dialogue as only the K-Man can.

Aaron: Obviously it’s the Costanzas in a landslide. Estelle gave most of her lines from off screen but still managed to scream her way into our hearts. From the moment they began arguing over the mechanism of car seats I knew we were in for a treat. SERENITY NOW!

Andrew: This is not what I was expecting to say before watching the episode, but I think it was Kramer. He had the funniest moments throughout: laughing at Jerry’s angry outburst, sitting in a lawn chair with a sparkler and vacant stare, and a pitch-perfect portrayal of “Serenity Now”’s impending failure. I’m not a huge fan of the screen door storyline, but he really nailed the performance in this one.

Jordan: Finally. See, when we started this thing the week after Seinfeld officially aired it’s last episode, I had this idea that anytime Frank was on screen, I was giving him best character. In my mind, he’s just so stinking good. But Frank has been around a lot, and I keep finding reasons to not pick him, though I may have given him the nod here or there. But this one – this is what I had in mind for Frank all along. Whenever he’s on screen, he commands it. I just want to see Frank more and more and more. It’s Frank, and it’s not even a little bit close for me.

Jason: There’s a lot of choices here, but the K-Man gets the duke. He went full monty with the Anytown USA stuff. The bbq, the plants, the fireworks, the wind chimes. In addition, his physical comedy was peak Kramer. Watching him fall apart from the inside after starting the serenity now was done perfectly.

Best Storyline

JT: The computer stuff brought a lot of laughs, especially at the end when it was revealed that Lloyd Braun’s phone was never even plugged in, but Kramer’s apartment-to-colonial conversion brought the most consistent laughs. The scene with the hose was tremendous as was him withering away into a mumbling zombie at the end. The payoff was really good too when he blows up and destroys the computer inventory and then just tells George that he owes him one.

Aaron: Since I can’t vote Frank and Estelle working their way towards a murder/suicide I’ll go with Jerry and his feelings. I think the image of Jerry proposing to Elaine, her mouth stuffed with banana while George runs in scheming might be a perfect snapshot of the series.

Andrew: It’s the Serenity Now stuff, I think. The plot itself isn’t all that special, but the repetition really does make it funnier, and the performances were all top notch. Frank remains the best, Kramer is right there with him in this one, and Lloyd Braun was excellent in his handful of scenes.

Jordan: Frank selling computers and rubbing it in George’s face that Lloyd Braun is a better salesman, and thus THE SON HE ALWAYS WANTED is good enough as it is. But then you get the twist ending where Lloyd is just a nutjob and his phone was never even plugged in. They came out firing with this one!

Jason: The stuff with Elaine and the Lippman boys had its moments and the Costanza & Son and Lloyd fiasco brought on lots of laughs, especially with Estelle yelling from the house into the garage. Jerry’s man streak and gentle sobbing was fun to watch unfold. However, Anytown USA takes this category too. Along with his sweet setup, his feud with the neighborhood kids and his downward spiral were the highlight of this stacked episode.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

JT: I don’t think Elaine should have stood for Mr. Lippman aggressively kissing her on the couch. Seems a bit wrong.

Aaron: The Lippmans committed sexual assault by today’s standard right? Man if a character did that today and then screamed I’M A MAN they’d be ravaged on social media as quickly as you can say Wolf Blitzer may be a flawed man. How is there no repercussion for the son shoving his tongue down a grown woman’s throat. That being said I may throw away a life of religion for the sweet embrace of miss Benes. Also who the hell gives away opening night tickets to the Knicks without even TALKING to the person allegedly going?

Andrew: If your friend suddenly becomes open and honest about his emotions, is it OK to make fun of him? I’m OK with it. Who has time to deal with all that?

Jordan: All the guys sexually assaulting Elaine pops to mind, but I think Mr. Lippman is worse because he’s horning in on his son’s interests. Come on man, he’s only been a man for a few days and you’re already stealing his woman!

Jason: Should you kiss the same woman as your 14 year old son? Ewwwww, gross! Shame on you, Lippman.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

JT: Aunt Becky really threw Jerry for a loop but I can’t blame him for falling for her. She still had it going on at this point. Elaine should have had a taboo relationship with Lippman’s kid. He would treat her right. Relationship Grade: Salty Discharge/10

Aaron: Patty opened Endora’s box and paid for it. Shame. Good body. Relationship Grade: 5/10

Andrew: Like Jerry, I would also consider changing my entire personality for Lori Loughlin. Relationship Grade: I’m a man!/10

Jordan: I feel like we missed a huge joke here by Jerry not forming a band called Jerry and The Rippers while dating Patty. Relationship Grade: Have mercy!/10

Jason: Man, Jerry struck gold with Patty. Even post- Aunt Becky era she’s still a smoke show. Elaine having a threesome with Lippman and the Rabbi as Adam and his little Jew buddies play Boggle was money left on the table for not happening. Relationship Grade: 1% Of My Ass/10

What Worked:

JT: The opening scene in the Costanza car was amazing; Jerry trying to yell at Kramer and coming off as practicing a new bit was funny; Kramer calling Queens “the country” was funny as was him tearing the screen door off the hinges; “That girl from the bus” is an all time favorite quote of mine; Great random cameo from the Rabbi at the bar mitzvah and a nice callback with George and Lloyd’s never ending war; Estelle consistency screaming from inside the house was great, as was Lloyd’s smile after ringing the bell; George screaming at the guy about buying a computer was tremendous; Kramer sitting with the sparkler and getting cut off by Elaine closing the door is so good; Jerry not knowing what tears are; The hoochie mama hose scene was so well done; Another great callback with George calling “Mr. Vandelay”; Kramer snapping and destroying the computers was a nice payoff, and was set up well with why the computers were in his apartment to being with; I also loves Kramer telling George that he owes him one; George scaring Jerry straight was well done too;

Aaron: Every line of dialogue that is screamed by an octogenarian. Frank’s story about seeing a provocative movie called the Net with the girl from the bus is just flawless. The cool evening breeze of anytown USA was sublime until the all out assault of the neighborhood hooligans. (Which I also enjoyed). Both Lippmans renouncing their Judaism was fun. The stand out moment though was Elaine summing up Mr. Lippman as having several careers of varying success. She was also wonderful decrying anyone an idiot who wanted her and Jerry to get back together. Finally the sales competition was solid as hell. George obsessively trying to win a contest against a crazy Lloyd Braun made for a great subplot. Frank’s an idiot though. Lloyd was not even speaking into the phone before announcing his sales. George trying to sell his friend on a PC by peddling porn was also a nice touch.

Andrew: Frank is so good. The “very provocative movie” line is a classic, but even the way he delivers a “shuddup” is perfect. This isn’t my favorite writing as far as the plot goes, but there are some fantastic lines: the “salty discharge”, the “girl from The Bus”, “every able-bodied Israelite in the county is driving pretty strong to the hoop”. And the performances add a lot too, especially Kramer going down under a hail of silly string, and Elaine pretending to hear George to get away from Jerry.

Jordan: I could see someone making a case that both Frank and Estelle overdo it with their deliveries – but it’s all great for me. When the show ended, these were the two I wanted a spin off for. I would never get tired of them shouting at each other, slowly creeping toward rage induced murder. It’s just so good. Haven’t discussed it yet, but Kramer’s whole screen door and sitting in the hallway is one of those storylines that sounds really stupid when typed out, but Michael Richards pulls it off, and I don’t know who else could. The Lippmans giving up their entire faith for Elaine was funny, AND INSPIRATIONAL. I may have to do the same! Frank’s lines about The Net too.

Jason: Estelle and Frank bickering in the car over the seat; George being cool and under control, Kramer ot falling for Jerry’s rage, referring to Queens as “the country” and Ripping the screen door of the hinges; “that girl from the bus”; “I’m a man!”; Jerry describing George and Frank in the garage as a steel cage death match; the cool evening breeze of Anytown USA; Frank not reading Lloyd’s resume; that fucking Waterpik; George’s scheme to but all the computers in order to beat Lloyd; Jerry’s salty discharge; porn and quotes; HOOCHIE-MAMA; shiksa appeal; Jerry’s proposal; George calling Mr. Vandelay; serenity now being a hoax; “serenity now, insanity later”; the new Jerry not working there anymore; Lloyd’s phone never being plugged in; Estelle plowing the car through the garage

What Didn’t Work

JT: How much money did Frank spend buying computers? That shit was expensive in 1997; I wasn’t a fan of Lippman basically assaulting Elaine, that felt a bit much, he could’ve just asked her out like the Rabbi

Aaron: I HATED that Jerry didn’t know what tears were. I mean I can stretch believability but enough is enough here.

Andrew: What is the deal with this pop-up mail-order computer business? Was that a thing in the 90s, like selling Mary Kay? They’re not even all the same brand. Where did Frank find the time to learn computer repair and soldering while starting a business?

Jordan: I can excuse it since it brought laughs, but selling computers out of a garage over the phone is a really weird scheme, and doesn’t feel like something Frank Costanza would be wanting to do. I feel like he’d still be using a typewriter today.

Jason: George sure moved that hand truck of computers around rather easy. Man, a computer in the 90s was not light.

Key Character Debuts

Patty

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

– “Serenity Now” becomes a pop culture catchphrase

– “There’s a mechanism. You just pull it, and throw your body weight.” – Frank “I pulled it. It doesn’t go.” – Estelle “If you want the leg room, say you want the leg room! Don’t blame the mechanism!” – Frank “All right, Dad, we’re five blocks from the house. Sit sideways.” – George “Like an animal. Because of her, I have to sit here like an animal!” – Frank

– “Hey, any of you guys want to come out and help me fix my father’s screen door in Queens?” – George “Sorry, I’m fixing a screen door in the Bronx.” – Jerry “I’ll do it.” – Kramer “Really? You wanna come?” – George “Yeah, I love going to the country.” – Kramer

– “Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading, and I realize, it wasn’t that farfetched.” – Frank “Dad, you know what it takes to compete with Microsoft and IBM?” – George “Yes, I do. That’s why I got a secret weapon… my son.” – Frank

– “I’m open, there’s just nothing in there.” – Jerry

– “The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA. Let’s see how this baby closes.” – Kramer

– “Your mother recommended him.” – Frank “Yeah, of course she did. That’s all I ever heard growing up is ‘Why can’t you be more like Lloyd Braun?’ Did you know he was in a mental institution?” – George “I didn’t read his resume.” – Frank

– “Jerry, you break up with a girl every week.” – Elaine “What–what is this salty discharge?” – Jerry “Oh my God. You’re crying.” – Elaine “This is horrible! I care!” – Jerry

– “Simple. You let out one emotion, all the rest will come with it. It’s like Endora’s box.” – Kramer “That was the mother on Bewitched. You mean Pandora. – Jerry “Yeah, well, she… had one, too.” – Kramer

– “Well, I got just the thing to cheer you up. A computer! Huh? We can check porn, and stock quotes.” – George

– “Jerry, I’ve found a way to beat Lloyd Braun! I buy the computers myself, I store ’em in your apartment. Then, after I win the contest, I bring ’em all back and get my money back. Ha ha! It’s brilliant. What? What’s wrong with your leg?” – George

– “You know, all these years, I’ve always wanted to see the two of you get back together.” – George “Well, that’s because you’re an idiot.” – Elaine

Oddities & Fun Facts

– Patty is portrayed by Full House star Lori Loughlin

– The Rabbi from Season 7 makes a cameo at Mr. Lippman’s son’s bar mitzvah and later meets with Elaine

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

JT: This is another great episode. Season 9 has been amazing so far. Kramer’s whole story arc was masterful and everything tied together so seamlessly across the board. I was really impressed with how they got George’s computers into Kramer’s apartment in such an organic way. Jerry becoming sensitive and having no idea how to harness it was good too and a unique storyline for him, at least since he converted from whiny Jerry half a decade ago. The computer stuff was carried by Frank and George, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. They were awesome together as always. Elaine’s D storyline was fine enough too and had some laughs. I also loved all the callbacks here, right down to the end when George says he always hoped Elaine and Jerry would get back together. We are at a point where these characters are so developed and the actors are so comfortable that magic can happen in even the most bizarre storylines. Serenity now. Insanity later. Final Grade: 9/10

Aaron: Solid fun episode plus screaming Costanzas always make it a winner for me. SERENTITY NOW!!! Final Grade: 8/10

Andrew: Putting this episode up against the rest of the series, the unreality of the plot is what jumps out the most. Frank starting a mail-order computer business, Kramer turning the hallway into a front porch, Lippman’s son renouncing religion because an older woman won’t go out with him: it all comes out of nowhere, and doesn’t hold up to any kind of scrutiny. It feels like the show is on auto-pilot, as far as ideas and writing go. That said, I laughed quite a bit watching it, and that counts for a lot. Final Grade: 8/10

Jordan: A really good one in terms of laughs that I just can’t give a perfect score for because it is a bit of a stretch in some places. Frank selling computers just doesn’t seem right to me at all, I really think he’s a guy who still wouldn’t know what a computer is today in 2017. The guy wears shoes in the pool. Also, Jerry’s emotions didn’t do a ton for me, and him not knowing what crying was is kind of dumb. At the very least, when he puked up the black and white cookie, his eyes would have watered. Still, this one gets by on the strength of the cast and 8+ seasons of depth.Final Grade: 8/10

Jason: This episode always does it for me. We get the iconic title plot catchphrase, the return of Lippman and Lloyd, Aunt Becky and Anytown USA. Kramer brought an unforgettable performance with some brilliant physical comedy. It’s always a treat when the George and Lloyd feud makes an appearance. Jerry going full circle with his moods was a lot of fun too. Spoiler alert: the five of us here are chipping in to get Dan McGinn  Boggle as a wedding gift. Final Grade: 9/10