#and I think they shortened it since the last update too

[99hook]

Casual

“Casual. You throw that word around a lot, but at this point, I don’t even think you know what it means.”

18+

There was a comfortable silence that tended to take over whenever the two of you ran out of things to talk about, but it was never awkward or tense.

He was sitting next to you on your couch, stuffing some Japanese food in his mouth while you sifted through your rice to find pieces still doused in sauce.

“So you’re staying the night?” You asked, glancing up from your to-go plate to see if he made any sort of notable reaction.

He didn’t. He simply nodded, eyes still focused on his food, “Mhm” he hummed, then looked over at you. “Unless you don’t want me to.” He added with a crooked smirk.

“I mean, as long as you don’t take up all the hot water again, I don’t care.” You teased, half meaning it.

“Guess you’ll be showering with me then.”

His dimple deepened with that lopsided smirk that seemed to be contagious. You looked down to hide your blush, but he noticed it.

You heard him set his plate down on the coffee table and felt the shift in the cushions when he slid closer to you. His arm snaked around your shoulder, and you closed your box and placed it next to his.

Leaning back, you snuggled closer to him, bringing your legs up to drape across his lap, and he instinctively started running his fingers down them.

“Update me. I know you want to.” He smirks as he rests his head back against the cushion, looking down at you with eyes desperate for sleep, but refusing to waste this time.

“Let me think.” You sighed. It’s been close to a month since the last time you saw each other, and you were sure a lot has happened since then, but your mind was too preoccupied by the feel of his fingertips slowly roaming up and down your leg.

He saw the thoughtful expression and tried to jog your memory for you, reverting back to the texts and phone calls you’d exchanged over the last month. Shortened details of bigger stories he was curious to learn in person.

“Work? Your asshole boss? Coworkers still suck?” He listed off, earning a chuckle from you.

“Oh yeah, nothing new there. Everyone still sucks and I’m still ready to leave that place. I’m pretty sure my boss is the devil incarnated and my coworkers are his spawns.”

“And you’re just an angel, huh?” He smirked. You could hear the sarcasm dripping in his voice and rolled your eyes.

“Never said that.”

“Nah but from what you’ve told me, they all sound pretty shitty. Except that one girl. I forget her name but whoever the one is that helps you out a lot.”

“Kelsey.” You nod. “Yeah, I love her. Everyone else, not so much.”

He nods slowly. He’s genuinely listening, but his eyes are also roaming over every inch of your face. In truth, he’s just admiring you, but it always makes you feel a little self conscious.

When you can’t hold his gaze, you look down at your hand resting against his chest.

“You always do that.” He says before you feel his finger curl beneath your chin, lifting your gaze back to his. “Why?”

“Why what?” You tried to play dumb, but the look he shot told you that he knew you that was bullshit.

“Well, you stare at me a lot.” You shrug.

“You’re beautiful.” He easily retorts.

You felt the heat creeping up to your cheeks. You were sure he could plainly see the velvet shades casting over your skin from the simple compliment.

It was always like this. He made you feel every emotion in the book, even though none of it was ever meant to form into anything more than what it was.

Casual. That’s what you both labeled it the first time you emerged from the post-orgasm daze and had to figure out what you were doing in the first place before he had to be somewhere else.

It was an easily understood title. Basically like no strings attached, or at least that’s what you concluded. Situationship sounded a little better to you, but with that there was an indication that there was the possibility of a future relationship, and with this, you knew there wasn’t.

“You’re a charmer by nature.” You rolled your eyes, and he was unfazed by that.

“Don’t you like it when I compliment you?” He asked genuinely. You could tell it was a serious question by the way his brows knitted together slightly.

You liked it, yeah. The feelings that erupted from it? No.

“I like it when you shut up and kiss me.” You retaliated. It was a defense mechanism on your part. You just wanted to feel like you had some sort of control here, because Tyler seemed to be ever so collected inside and out.

You on the other hand, spent hours upon hours each night trying to fight back the feelings you got when he did something as simple as send you a heart emoji.

But he didn’t object. He let out a small chuckle and you felt the vibration underneath your palm, just before he leaned in and pressed his lips softly to yours.

The smell of his cologne overtook your senses first. A scent that lingers on your pillows weeks after he’s gone. You felt like you could pinpoint it anywhere, and just know it as him.

One of his hands cups your cheek while the other slowly slides higher up your thigh. You feel the neediness for him begin to take hold somewhere deep within. Somewhere only he could ever reach.

You feel yourself slowly reclining back against the cushions, and him shifting smoothly until he’s laying between your thighs.

“Take this off.” You breathe between leisure kisses, tugging at his shirt. You felt him smirk against your lips before he breaks the kiss to grab the end of the shirt with his free hand, easily pulling it over his head and discarding it somewhere on the living room floor.

Your eyes trail down to his chest. Something about it always gains your attention. Whether it’s the sculpted muscles that you loved to feel beneath your hands, or the tattoos you loved to trace with your fingertips.

He watches as you run your palms from his chest to his torso, and then hooking two fingers in the hem of his sweatpants.

“These too.” You say, tugging at them.

“Yes ma’am.” He obliges before he gets on his knees and slides them down.

You take that time to pull your shirt and shorts off. He keeps his eyes on you, watching your every move with an insatiable hunger he couldn’t hide for the life of him.

When you’re left in just your bra, he stops you before you can unlatch it yourself. His lips find your neck as his fingers work on the clasp until you feel the straps loosen and slide down your arms.

He pulls them down the rest of the way and tosses your bra somewhere amongst the rest of your discarded clothes, before he grabs your hips and pulls you back down so that you’re laying beneath him again.

You instinctively spread your thighs for him, glancing down at the gap between your bodies that’s soon to be closed like you want.

“Ready?” He always asks. His eyes glance up at your face, and you can see that he’s doing his best to be slow and patient, but he’s dying for more.

You nod immediately, twisting the ends of his hair with your fingertips as you eagerly pull him down to your lips.

The kiss a few minutes ago was just a build up. Slow, leisure and delicate. This one was full of desire, anticipation, the eagerness neither of you could hide if you wanted to.

In the midst of it, you felt him completely fill you. Stretching you to your limits in a way that had become the only thing you’ve ever been truly addicted to.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips and a deep, guttural groan ripped through his chest. He held himself still for a couple of seconds, until he felt you relaxing around him.

Slowly, he pulls almost all the way out, and slowly; he pushes back into you again. It stays like this until you can’t take it anymore, and a smirk slips across his lips when you start to thrust your hips up in a desperate attempt for more.

He doesn’t object, though. Truthfully, he may be on top but he’s following your lead. Whatever you want, however you want it, that’s what he wants. It might be taking every last ounce of strength within him to keep things slow and steady, but if that’s how you want it then he’ll do it all night long.

But thankfully he picked up on the cues your body was giving and he could finally pick up the pace.

When you felt his hand tightly grip your hip and pin you in place, you knew what you were in for.

He leaned up some, the ends of his hair fluttering against your cheek as his hot, short breaths lingered against your skin. You felt him sneak a few delicate kisses against your jaw but you had to act like it never happened, or else that’s all you’d be thinking about for the next month.

His name effortlessly flew past your lips when he relentlessly crashed into you, hard, fast and unforgiving, just like the first time when he was obviously trying to prove to you that he was good in bed.

Your nails dug into his back as he repeatedly hit that one special spot that in truth, only he ever did before.

You couldn’t contain the high moans, the wildly breathy gasps and whimpers that spilled out of you with every thrust of his hips.

He was in the same boat, though. You know you heard him muttering a multitude of fucks and goddamns.

His fingers tangled up in your hair as he rocked into you. You could hardly hold on at this point, even though you wanted this to last as long as humanly possible. It was impossible.

He knew you were close when you wrapped your legs tightly around him, and the sounds you made got a hell of a lot higher than before.

He coaxed you silently. Using his lips in one way instead of another.

He latched them to your neck, boldly sucking a spot that he realized after the first time, must’ve been a weakness for you.

He felt pride swelling in his chest at the sound of you coming completely and utterly undone. Just the way your back arched and your breasts pressed against his chest was enough for him, but he was holding back waiting for you.

His teeth gently scraped your skin, but it was enough to send shivers skating rapidly down your spine. You couldn’t control it, even if you wanted to.

Within moments, that warm sensation that was begging to run wild through your body, finally got the permission to do it.

You came with a relieved, blissful gasp that morphed into a drawn out moan, and his low groans and raspily muttered curses intermingled in the air.

Breathless and utterly spent, the two of you laid on that couch for at least ten minutes before he finally pulled out of you.

The second he got up, the sweat that smeared your skin didn’t mix well with the room temperature, and a chill shot through you.

Tyler grabbed your clothes first. They were inside out, so he fixed them before he handed them to you.

You watched as he slid on his sweatpants and draped his shirt over his shoulder, sitting back down next to you.

You hadn’t put your clothes back on, instead just let them lay in your lap as you stared down at them.

“What’s wrong?” He asks after a moment. You shake your head, but you don’t look at him.

Again, his finger hooks underneath your chin and raises your gaze so that you’re matched with his. Something that always gives you butterflies, but you won’t tell him that.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You wanted to say it, but not as much as you didn’t want to ruin everything the two of you had. You knew from the beginning that this was casual. You knew it and you had no right to feel some type of way about it now.

The heart was just stupid sometimes, you realized that when just the feel of his shoulder brushing against yours could make your stomach erupt with butterflies.

“Nothing.” You lied again. “Wanna shower with me?”

He eyed you for a moment. He knew you weren’t being honest but he also suspected why, and it was a conversation he knew he wanted to have, but he always second guessed if it was the right time to have it.

He contemplated pressing the subject, but the risk that came along with that kept his mouth shut. Instead, he just nodded and got up from the couch, extending his hand for you to take, and lead you through your room where the bathroom was.

He started the water, and as his back was turned, you took a moment to study yourself in the mirror.

The purple marks he left on your neck would be there for a while. Of course you needed to cover them up for work but you didn’t mind them as much as you would if anyone else were to leave them on you.

Your lips were puffy and a little swollen, and they were tender to the touch, but you liked it.

You could faintly see the redness that his fingerprints left on your hip, and that’s when his hand snaked around your stomach and he pressed a kiss to your temple, eyeing you in the mirror along with you.

You turned in his arms and offered a smile before you walked past him, letting him get undressed himself while you stepped in and felt the scolding hot droplets somehow relax every one of your tense nerves.

He stepped in behind you, his hands snaking around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder as he swayed you side to side.

You leaned your head back, the water drenching every inch of you, but you weren’t sure it was the temperature of it, or if he was the reason you felt like you were nearly on fire.

“You know something?” You hear him whisper, his breath lingering against the shell of your ear.

“Hm?”

“I’m comfortable with you.” He says. It was a simple admission, but the way he said it sounded almost as if it was a revelation to him. A shock, even.

“Yeah?” You tried to act casual. Key word for everything here, you assumed.

“Yeah.” He continued swaying. “Everything feels…” He trailed off, and the first word that popped into your head was, right. Everything feels right.

But the word he chose wasn’t that.

“Easy.” He decided on. “Everything’s just real easy with you.”

You felt a pang in your heart, but you fought against it. You nodded like you agreed, and started lathering body wash all over yourself.

He helped, rubbing the suds all over your skin, then reaching behind him to grab the shampoo and pouring some in his hand.

You felt his hands lathering it through your hair, pausing for a second cause the gesture made your heart flutter, but you then reminded yourself that you shouldn’t feel like that.

You let him shampoo your hair, then turned around, facing him as you rinsed it all out. He watched you with exhausted eyes and a crooked smirk, then grabbed your hips and pulled you into him.

“You wanna go out tomorrow before I leave?” He asks. Of course the first thing you thought was, like a date? Of course you didn’t ask that question though.

“Sure.” You agreed like it wasn’t making your heart hammer against your rib cage. “But aren’t you worried about being spotted with your casual?”

You didn’t mean to add the bitter undertone, but that’s how it came out. You thought he noticed, but the way his lips tipped up slightly made you unsure.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. You know this already.”

“Even if it gets plastered all over social media? You know how fast rumors spread.”

“There’s no rumor to be spread.” He shrugs coolly. “People don’t know me like they think they do, and they don’t know us especially. Let them think whatever they want. I just want to show you a good time somewhere other than your bed.”

You bit back your smile, looking down to hide it, but once again, that finger curled under your chin and you had to look into his eyes. Couldn’t hide that grin if your life depended on it.

“And Casual. You throw that word around a lot, but at this point, I don’t even think you know what it means.” He smirks, and you felt your brows knitting together in confusion.

“That’s what we agreed on.” You shrugged.

“Yeah, and that’s not what we turned out being.” He copied your shrug.

You opened your mouth to speak but there were no words able to be formed at that moment. You simply stared up at him, feeling like all the things you’ve felt might’ve actually been mutual afterall.

“This isn’t a conversation for right now. I think we’re both tired and probably still loopy from that fire ass sex we just had, but tomorrow, I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You nodded easily, and before you could say anything back, his hands cupped your cheeks and he made sure you were looking intently into his eyes, hanging onto every word he said.

“But if you were just casual, i’d never kiss you like this.” He says before he presses his lips to yours with a purpose that makes your head spin.

You instantly melt into him, arms wrapping around the back of his neck, bodies flush as you were rendered absolutely breathless.

Breaking apart, there were no words left to be said. He simply leaned down and cut off the water, opened the shower door and grabbed two towels. He wrapped one around you and one around his waist before he took your hand and placed a kiss to your knuckles.

“movie, round two or sleep?” He smirked. A coy smirk that made you feel weak in the knees all over again.

“All three, in that order.”

———

taglist: @madhatterbri @730hook @multi-fandom-things730 @willowgreens @shawtys-things @justdamnpeachy @wickedval l @730bliss @theworldofotps @madds-97 97 @gethooked @benjaminka @5secondsofmoxley @cypherpart15 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @littlemissbliss06

lmk if you wanna be added/removed

[wings-of-ink]

First Devlog?

Hello everyone...boy, there are a lot of you already, still trying to digest that...

So, I gather that I should do these logs on occasion. I do not know how often, perhaps just when I have a few things to say. I will try not to ramble too much, but my fingies like to talk.

Anyway, I am working on chapter 3 right now. There’s some fun moments so far in it that I hope you’ll like, and we’ll get to meet Zahn, Duri'naan, and then Rundis. I’m trying not to rush because there are some exciting scenes that I’m eager to get to. I’ve outlined them to tide myself over until I get that far. There’s some quiet moments you’ll get to have as well, and right now I feel like that’s what I’m struggling with. Those areas of my story are like bridges to the next, more exciting, parts and sometimes I feel like they fall a little flat. But, I’m trying to keep in mind this is my first draft. I’ll go through it another time or two to perk things up. Those moments are still important for letting the MC get to know each RO.

My mind has been in a million directions lately too, and I’ve had a lot of ‘duh’ moments. I’ve done so much world building since I started this last year (around August/September I think), that I have pockets of important details that I kinda just forgot! So, I plan to re-read all the notes I’ve made and try to also put them into one place. I have some in my phone, in a notebook, and in no less than three folders on my laptop. It’s a wonder I have survived this many years…

What you can expect for coming updates…

-A couple fixes, of course – thank you to those who found some of those pesky buggy bois for me.

-A nicer front page, instead of being slapped with my ramblings, I’d like to actually have a nice start page. I’ll figure it out eventually, lol.

-I’ll be adding a name bank to the MC’s Nameday scene that will also show you what each name means, so if that is important to you, it’ll save you the internet search. If it tickles your fancy, the name selection will correspond in some way to the marks (names meaning "night" or "storm," etc.) so you can theme your MC a bit.

-Extra coding in case you decide to shorten MC’s given name to just “Ravi.” I did not once consider that anyone would do this, and my first play-tester – my own spouse – did….He told me about it since it made some dialog with Oswin make zero sense, and then I published the story without fixing it because I completely forgot about it.

-Different contrast color for dark mode links. I feel like I have drastically improved this with a new gold color. In retrospect, I don’t know why I didn’t use the gold before. I love it as an accent, I use it all over! The blue never felt 100% right, but my brain shut down after thinking about it too long. Here’s a sample and a (M) Zahn tease:

When can you expect an update?

I’d like to make my next update during the Amare Games Festival, ideally containing both chapters 3 and 4 since they go pretty tightly together. This will also insure that you meet the rest of the posse. It’s a tall order for both chapters to be submitted on time, and I don’t want to rush them either, but I’m going to try really really hard, lol. I will focus first on polishing chapter 3, so that no matter what, I can at least get it out in time.

Here’s a link to the post about it:

And this is the submission time frame: open from March 31st 2024 at 11:00 PM to May 1st 2024 at 12:00 AM

As a side message, should you want to read on…

I also wanted to give you all a big, like really big, heartfelt thank you. I have received so many kind messages and comments that I just can’t believe it. I am so happy (and honestly, genuinely shocked) that you’re enjoying my IF, and I’m motivated to work hard so you also enjoy each new chapter of your journey. There’s so many secrets I want to share with you about the world, and I am struggling to be patient myself, lol.

I am not usually a very open or social person, and I was scared for a long time to share anything I wrote. I reached a point in my personal life in the last few years where I just needed to embrace what I loved to do and share it with a community that shares in that love. I encourage you to do the same whether there is a story in your heart, music on your lips, or a paintbrush in your hands. Life is NOT about your 8-5. We may not be able to survive without it, but whatever moment you can, do what you actually love. Put away the those things that don’t matter, the things that stress you - including people, and make time for who you are.

Thank you all and take care!

~Lunan

[theteablogger]

From Andy’s talk about his new name as mentioned in the timeline update it sounds like he knew Andrew Blake was the name of a porn director when he chose it. Since identity-hopping seemed to be a ploy to get away from his past (he’d already become known as a man as “Jordan”, it wasn’t like changing his first and last name was novel!), do you have any idea if that was chosen on purpose—sharing a name with a real person which, if googled, would bring a celebrity (and for that matter, porn) up first—including if you added terns like “Hollywood”, “California,” etc? Point being, searches lead to a guy who is obviously not Andy (born in 1948), the domain “andrewblake.com” is the filmmaker’s website, he’s famous enough that he’s won awards…

It’s still the case that if you search his name on tumblr instead of “thanfiction” porn clips/stills are the first thing to come up and I can only imagine it must’ve been worse when tumblr allowed NSFW content.

There’s a semi-known Andrew Blake who’s a scientist at Cambridge too but iirc in the timeline it said that Andy Thanfiction knew who the porn guy was. Is there anything more there or is it just tinhat stuff?

Andy and Abbey were still together when Andy legally changed his name. She has said that he started going by Andy when he took on the "duplicate soul" of Orlando Bloom, and that Blake was a shortened form of Blakewell, the last name of the "real" Pevensie children from the Chronicles of Narnia.

Having said that, there was a museum of erotica on Hollywood Boulevard from 2004-2006, and it's possible that Andy visited it and saw the name Andrew Blake there, but I believe Abbey's version of events. I think the fact that he shares a name with a famous porn director is just a coincidence.

[zwy01]

Millennium AU!

Hi everyone!!! After three years I finally updated+upgraded my Millennium AU lineup! Now I have a total of 15 ocs for this AU instead of the previous 10! This is probably my magnum opus as a noblesse fanart/fan-content creator lol.

For context, this is an alternate universe where Razark is alive, it’s 1000+ years in the future, and everyone has kids.

Important note: this is not a happy AU. There are happy moments, but with the general settings of characters and their relationships with one another, and the way Lukedonia is defined by Lord Raskreia… not very optimistic. It’s angsty. I’ll explain more as this post goes, and you’ll see why.

On how nobles have kids in my headcanon: nobles reproduce asexually. To be precise, children are born from soul fragments. Soul fragments can be extracted at the cost of some of the parent’s own lifespan. Two soul fragments create a new soul, aka the child. Because how this entire process has lifespan shortening qualities, children are usually proof of true love or repaying a major favor/debt to someone. It’s a huge deal for nobles, so it is never taken lightly. If a clan’s last clan leader/pureblood dies without an heir, a new heir/child/soul is born from the mystic energy that the air/ground of Lukedonia emits. Kind of like a thin-air baby appearing out of nowhere.

How to read this lineup:

White text: character name

Blue text: parents’ names, if any.

Ring + heart: parents are in love & married.

Heart: parents are in love & not married.

Green diamond: parents are not in love. Soul fragment donation as debt repayment. Children do not carry their donor’s surname.

Eldest to the left, youngest to the right.

Now introducing the characters!

Alois Elenor: Male. First child of Ludis Mergas and Rozaria Elenor. Name means “famous warrior”. An introvert. Nicknames: Al, the hair guy, magic boy. Relationship with family: Ludis (father, good), Rozaria (mother, good), Susanna (sister, good)

Alois is the first born of the entire nextgen cast. He is very very shy, and almost never talks, and if he does it’s when he thinks it’s necessary. He doesn’t like eye contact with virtually anyone who isn’t family, so he usually has his eyes and face covered with his bright red hair. If you try to brush his hair aside to see his eyes, he WILL freak out and turn you into a frog. That’s reserved for his family and his crush, sorry. He’s usually calm, but has an anxious side to him that shows when he feels stressed out. He’s also quite sensitive, but people usually have no idea about what he’s thinking since he doesn’t talk, and they can’t see his face. His younger sister Susanna can always tell, though. She reads him like a book. Alois is a very big family-oriented guy and will do anything to make his family happy. The four of them have an extremely close relationship, and make a happy family unit. Though Alois being the only introvert in his family means that sometimes he gets overwhelmed by their excess energy. He may not show it in the way his family does, but he’s very very happy to receive their love. Dotes on his younger sister Susanna. Has a major crush on Luzia Tradio. Super big fan of Kei Ru, idolizes him.

Luzia Tradio: Female. First child of Kei Ru and Claudia Tradio. Name means “light of the day”. An introvert. Nicknames: Lucy, Cici, witch queen. Relationship with family: Kei (father, not very good), Claudia (mother, good), Jia (sister, bad)

Luzia Tradio is never seen to smile, and she always wears a frown on her face. She is a bit grumpy and standoffish. If you look at her with the wrong expression she might give you the death stare… or so it seems. You see, she has a history of casting curses on people and making them vomit maggots for hours, but hey it’s for a good reason. They annoy her too much. Just don’t get too close to her, or ask too many questions. She has inherited her grandfather Lagus’ talent, and is the most powerful in the entire nextgen cast. But what most people don’t know is that she is trying to recover Lagus’ legacy… specifically his research, creations, and abilities. Due to the Lagus’ traitor history, doing so has been banned by none other than Lord Raskreia. And even if it weren’t banned, Luzia trying to chase after Lagus’ research would make mommy dearest drop dead in anxiety. Luzia won’t actually try to take over Lukedonia; in fact she’s not interested in any of it. She just genuinely enjoys doing the same creepy/shady/illegal stuff gramps did. So she has an underground lab where she pursues Lagus’ legacy and conducts her… err, research. Just evil edgy witch stuff. No one needs to know. Hah. She has a great relationship with her mother Claudia and swears to protect her. She can’t stand her father Kei and sister Jia for… complicated reasons, so she avoids them and shuts them out. They try to reach out to her, though their attempts almost always fail. May or may not like Alois back… welp, she’s in denial. Likes candy.

Aretis Verja Di Reiner: Male. Only child of Razark and Erga Kenesis Di Raskreia. Name means “the deciding warrior that defends virtue”. An extrovert. Nicknames: N/A. Relationship with family: Razark (father, good), Raskreia (mother, very very bad)

Reiner is Raskreia’s heir and the next lord. Reiner’ story is a complex one. He is naturally very charismatic and shines in his own way, but that gets affected by his upbringing and now he’s just majorly depressed and too tired to care about anything. You see, his mother Raskreia isn’t the best at expressing her emotions as she is naturally stoic.. and has her sense of pride, even when it comes to loving her son. She believes her duties as Lord comes before anything else, even if it’s her family. So, she makes it to clear to young Reiner that he is her heir and subject before he is her son. Welp, that’s certainly very…reassuring to hear from your mom-lord. So even when Raskreia and Razark love each other very much, Reiner was raised almost entirely by his father Razark, whom he shares a good relationship with. Reiner has a very strong sense of justice and seeing how Raskreia’s ways are stubborn, archaic, even borderline tyrannical and how she is headed towards failing Lukedonia, he protests againsts her ways and seeks to abolish their system altogether in favor of a democracy. Reiner fails and proceeds to leave Lukedonia out of anger and helplessness and decides to never become Lord, though he had already made this decision long ago when he cracked under pressure to become the perfect prince. Raskreia sees his act as a rebellion, and deems him a traitor. Uh oh, his own mom-lord might be after his head. Time to run. He’d probably be way happier to stay away from all the trouble at home and work as a cashier in the human world. Sigh. Give him a pat on the shoulder and tell him good work. Too depressed to like anyone.

Jia Ru: Female. Second child of Kei Ru and Claudia Tradio. Name means “auspicious”. An extrovert. Nicknames: little tigress, bedrock annihilator, them muscles. Relationship with family: Kei (father, good), Claudia (mother, good), Luzia (sister, neutral)

Jia is an excellent martial artist, just like her father Kei, whom she absolutely adores. She enjoys sparring with others, often running out of people to challenge just because she does it so often and they’re all tired and want to rest. What do you mean you wanna rest, it’s only been the 8th spar of the day! Ugh, y’all don’t exercise enough. She has sharp canines that show in a toothy grin when she’s happy. She is on good terms with most of her peers though sometimes she may or may not offend others with her bluntless. She doesn’t mean any harm, she just doesn’t really have a filter and says whatever’s on her mind…even around their Lord. Whoops. Luckily Raskreia wasn’t too pissed. Be careful next time. She does get extremely shy around Alois though, whom she has a huge crush on. Her hair accessories (set of golden hoops) are gifts from her mother Claudia. Claudia wears the other pair. Kei isn’t the best with expressing love and he mostly only gives combat-related compliments that roughly translate into “I love you”. He does call his daughter “little tigress” when they are alone; it’s a nickname he gave to her as a child. Jia knows Kei loves her, and he knows she loves him, and they’re happy. She doesn’t like sweet food, and loves meat.

Susanna Mergas: Female. Second child of Ludis Mergas and Rozaria Elenor. Name means “to be joyful/graceful lily”. An ultra extrovert. Nicknames: Susa, teacup, cupcake. Relationship with family: Ludis (father, good), Rozaria (mother, good), Alois (brother, good)

Susanna might be the shortest and tiniest of the bunch, but she is jam-packed with raw energy. Fun energy. Chaotic energy. Loud energy. Just pure energy. She’s the ultimate definition of a social butterly. As long as something moves, she’ll want to befriend it. Hey you! You can be her 278th best friend! Seriously. She’ll love it and so will you. What do you mean you can live for tens of thousands of years and still haven’t memorized everyone’s names? That’s impossible! Lol. She loves hanging out with people and finding fun things to do. Tea parties is one of her absolute favorites, and she too has mastered the art of tea parties under the guidance and apprenticeship of her beloved daddy and the master of human traditions, Ludis. A day is never dull with her and her family. They just love partying. As loud and energetic as she is, she is actually quite good at picking up very very subtle cues of how other people are feeling, and will quiet down and approach you differently if you need it. Smothers her brother in affection, and loves being doted on by him. Arya’s girlfriend.

Kaelestis Blerster: Male. Only child of Karias Blerster and Rael Kertia. Name means “of the sky, heavenly”. An extraverted-introvert. Nicknames: Kaekae, dad, the no-fun guy. Relationship with family: Karias (father, good), Rael (donor, good) Raegyn & Arya (half-siblings, good)

Kaelestis is the most mature out of the bunch. Unlike his eccentric father Karias, he is very proper and does not engage in the former’s speech and actions. In fact, he’s probably closer to being the parent than the other way around. He often calls out Karias for his behavior and does not hesitate to reprimand his father for his inappropriateness. Karias just laughs, does a fake dramatic flop down the floor, whines to his son about how he’s just no fun at alllll. Kaelestis just shakes his head and sighs. Kaelestis actually got his nickname Kaekae from Karias because Karias gets okay’d by his son all the time. “Okay Clan Leader, time to act maturely like a proper noble”, etc. Even his friends call him “dad” as a joke. The only time he’s ever acted “improper” was when he called Raskreia “auntie”… but that’s because Karias lied to his son and told him daddy’s Lord’s brother. And Kaekae believed it. Never again for those petty tricks. Kaelestis is also an excellent painter and architect, and is responsible for Lukedonia’s artistic projects. His personality may not be romantic, but his crafts certainly are. Just breathtakingly beautiful and you won’t see talent like this anywhere else. Likes Izar.

Raegyn Kertia: Male. First child of Regis K. Landegre and Rael Kertia. Name means “little king/impulsive”. An extrovert. Nicknames: Ray, the genius, mr. Celebrity. Relationship with family: Regis (father, good), Rael (father, good), Arya (sister, good), Kaelestis, Garyth & Alethea (half-siblings, good)

Raegyn is a surprisingly good diplomat, as he is the smartest of the entire nextgen cast. Though, he is seen as a good diplomat and loved by all not because he truly is that way. He is just very, very smart and knows how to get things… and people to be the way he wants. At his level manipulation is quite easy, though usually he doesn’t need to do so as his natural charm does the job for him. He’s already everyone’s favorite guy #1. He’s snarky and witty. Sometimes, he might come off as arrogant because he expects people to understand things without needing him to explain and gets frustrated when they don’t. He doesn’t show this side easily, but he’s secretly very apathetic and loves dark humor. By human standards sometimes you’d wanna call him lil’ shit. Damn, it’s just lonely to be at the top. He has a good relationship with his fathers, and Rael often comes to his son for advice. They have casual debates sometimes and Rael always loses. So proud of my son. He’s the smartest. Yaaaaa. Likes Umbra.

Arya K. Landegre: Female. Second child of Regis K. Landegre and Rael Kertia. Name means “noble/air song”. An extrovert. Nicknames: Ari, Yaya. Relationship with family: Regis (father, good), Rael (father, good), Raegyn (brother, good), Kaelestis, Garyth & Alethea (half siblings, good)

Arya is the opposite of everything elegant. She’s actually quite cringy, in a good way. She’s loud, fidgety, and cheerful. If you brought all these kids to a fast food restaurant, she’ll be the one throwing fries around like confetti and convincing everyone else to join in. If it weren’t for the black stripes in her hair, you would’ve never guessed that she’s a Landegre because she doesn’t act like one at all. Truth be told, part of it is a show. She is sad to see Lukedonia so somber, and tries to cheer up others by putting on an act, thinking she can try to get others to feel a bit happier, if she pretends to be happy too. But mostly it’s for making her clan leader and father Regis happy to know that she’s “happy”, now that he has a really shortened lifespan and they don’t have too much time together. A not-so-healthy coping mechanism for her soon-to-be grief. Someone get this girl an oscar and some therapy. Susanna’s girlfriend.

Garyth J. Loyard: Male. First child of Regis K. Landegre and Seira J. Loyard. Name means “honest/tender person”. An introvert. Nicknames: Gary, angel, starlight. Relationship with family: Regis (father, good ), Seira (mother, good), Alethea (sister, good), Raegyn & Arya (half siblings, it’s complicated)

Garyth is the most beautiful child in the entire nextgen cast. You’d take one look at his face, and you’ll want to throw chocolates and diamonds at him. He has super long eyelashes that seem to flutter like feathers in the wind. He also has an angelic voice, and is an excellent singer. You’d get distracted and walk face first into a pole if you happen to stumble upon him singing. He is also the great-grandchild that resembles Gejutel the most out of the four that exist, despite being the Loyard heir. His mannerisms are also very Landegre. He’s very obsessed with being elegant, and while he is very dignified, he can engage in playful banter just like how Regis does it. Susanna probably handed him a sharpie once and told him to “color his hair” since Gary is just so obsessed with the Landegre side of himself. Smooth one, Susa. Gary is super embarrassed. Garyth does have a lingering sadness inside once he learns of his mother Seira’s trauma and past. He loves her very much and will do anything for her. For that reason, he absolutely hates Rael’s guts for his history of stalking and harassing Seira. He loves Regis very much too but is confused why Regis forgave his former nemesis and even married him. He avoids his half siblings for the same reason, since they remind him of Rael. Confused Garyth harbors a deep resentment and sadness inside for not being able to help. His sister Alethea knows of it, but wonders why her brother never talks about it. Has a lil’ thing for Reiner.

Alethea J. Loyard: Female. Second child of Regis K. Landegre and Seira J. Loyard. Name means “truth”. An introvert. Nicknames: Thea, bunny. Relationship with family: Regis (father, good ), Seira (mother, good), Garyth (brother, good), Raegyn & Arya (half siblings, good)

Alethea resembles her mother Seira so much, she could very much be her. Seira’s little clone basically. If you put her side-by-side with her mother’s younger self, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them. Seira nicknames her daughter “bunny”, and Alethea blushes when her mother calls her that. Alethea is quiet and reserved, though not entirely due to being an introvert. She suffers from low self esteem. Being Seira’s second child she won’t get a soul weapon nor will she become clan leader, and she is fine with that. Her low self esteem stems from her feeling extremely out of place in this world. Everything feels so foreign even though she’s experiencing everything in her own skin. She just never feels like she belongs here, and often zones out because of this. She suffers from a lack of purpose. She is just observing this world, and prefers to not partake in it. She is very empathetic though, and shares a close bond with her family. She doesn’t avoid her half siblings like her brother Garyth does. Prefers to hang out with great grandfather Gejutel, just the two of them, in his library. That’s where she feels most at home. Nice safe space. Likes peace and quiet.

Bellona: Female. Gradeus’ clan’s heir. No parents, born from thin air. Name means “goddess of war”. An extrovert. Nicknames: Belle, Nana. Relationship with family: Gejutel (caretaker, good)

Bellona was born to be Gradeus clan’s heir. Gejutel names her in good will, hoping that she becomes a good leader, should she choose to use her powers in battle. Interestingly, Bellona channels her energy into dancing. She is a skilled fighter, though she prefers to let her energy out by dancing and her dance moves mimic those of battle. Intense and passionate. Fiery. A berserker of a different kind. She can feel it in her muscles, in her bones, in her soul. Dancing is her life. She’s that person who tells you working out will help with feeling sad. Often drags Reiner around and forces him to dance, much to his annoyance and Raegyn’s amusement. C’mon, it’s gotta help! Just shake the tension off. Feel your feet on the ground, and forget the thoughts in your head. Good friends with Cordelia Kravei. Ps she sometimes summons Messad and swings it around as dancing prop, because hey it looks pretty damn cool. Likes Garyth.

Izar Siriana: Male. Siriana clan’s heir. No parents, born from thin air. Name means “star”. An extraverted-introvert. Nicknames: Izzy, bookworm. Relationship with family: Gejutel (caretaker, good)

To Gejutel, Zarga just… seemed bit lost. So in hopes that this his heir finds a passion in life and shines brightly, he names this boy Izar. Just as his name suggests, he develops a love for astronomy and the maths. Most nobles nowadays arent too concerned with being empirical aside from a few who also have an interest in these subject matters, but Izar takes it to another level. Having a passion that grounds him to the earth while he stares into the sky makes him happy. A neet. By human standards you’d be questioning how long he hasn’t showered. He’s not shy though, just prefers to live with his books. One day hopes to discover alternate universes and conquer the black hole, probably. At least he jokes so. Vomited maggots many times from Lucy’s curses from being too annoying and pestering her nonstop for a possible “research buddy”. Lucy doesn’t care for hot burning elemental cores or numbers. Leave her alone. Has a super smart pet ferret named Charles who acts like an assistant and helps him fetch his books and papers. Drinks coffee not because he needs it, but because it’s fashionable and trendy scientists do so. Right? That’s what you call them… scientists!! He even got himself some round glasses to complete his look. Sooo cool. Maybe he’ll ask Lucy for some of her eyeshadow to give himself dark eye circles. …You really wanna vomit maggots again? Likes Jia.

Asa Drosia: Male. Drosia clan’s heir. No parents, born from thin air. Name means “healer/morning”. An introverted-extrovert. Nicknames: N/A. Relationship with family: Gejutel (caretaker, good)

Edian had suffered from multiple unfortunate events prior to her death, so Gejutel names her heir Asa, hoping that he lives a peaceful, hopeful life. Asa is surprisingly good at talking and is quite diplomatic. Unlike Raegyn who only pretends to care and seems like nice guy thanks to his charm, Asa is genuinely nice. He is calm, and mentally and emotionally stable. He’s basically the local therapist kind of guy. He never judges anyone for their circumstances and is accepting of everyone. If you even just look at him in the eyes and see him smile, you’ll feel an uncontrollable urge to cry. Everyone (excluding funny Lord Rask) truly loves him and he’s glad to help. He’s pretty much the only dude in the entire cast not affected by depression. Just like how his SW is a pair of sharp rapiers, he’s good at pinpointing issues and digging them out from the source… though sometimes it hurts to bring out those old scars, even just to talk about them. Which is why Reiner even avoids him because. Cant hide anything from this guy. Ugh. Reiner’s pride. It’s okay, Asa won’t judge you. He has a collection of scented candles, and likes to do knitting in his free time. Likes Bellona.

Umbra Agvain: Female. Agvain clan’s heir. No parents, born from thin air. Name means “shadow/shade”. An introvert. Nicknames: Umbie, firecracker. Relationship with family: Gejutel (caretaker, good)

In contrast to Urokai’s character, Gejutel names her in hopes that she’d be calm and collected, with shadow in her name also meaning she’d protect the ones she loves…instead of the opposite. Unfortunately, she isn’t calm at all. Just like her predecessor, she is quite explosive, but for a different reason. She isn’t angry, nor is she jealous. She is frustrated. She feels and senses everything much stronger than everyone else. If she loves something, she loves it to death. If she hates something, she hates it to death. Everything comes so strongly, she only ever eats plain food, and uses her powers to suppress light and sound around her. Avoids people. It’s just too much for her. Cries and screams often when she is alone from the overwhelming sensations and feelings. Ironically, her hobby is cooking and makes great food. Stress cooks. Doesn’t eat any of it though. Susa’s more than happy to help herself to Umbra’s cooking. Likes Asa.

Cordelia Kravei: Female. Kravei clan’s heir. No parents, born from thin air. Name means “heart/jewel of the sea”. An introvert. Nicknames: Del, Lili, fish girl. Relationship with family: Gejutel (caretaker, good)

Cordelia is the last one to be born in the entire nextgen cast, which means she’s the youngest. Since Lukedonia is surrounded by the sea, Gejutel names her Cordelia in hopes that her heart and soul feels at home. Cordelia is a great illusionist and magician. Not magic in the sense of Elenor and Tradio, but as in tricks and visual effects. She spends a good amount of time by the sea and teaches herself to manipulate aura into various shapes and forms outside of battle usage. She can conjure beautiful illusions of both marine animals and mythical sea creatures, and often works with her best friend Bellona, giving a great show of illusions while Bellona dances. She’s good friends with Kaelestis, with Kaelestis often getting inspiration for his paintings from Cordelia. A pretty chill person in general. Likes Alethea.

Annd that’s it! For a little end note, yes Gejutel raises the last five. Why? Because of bad examples. The Previous Lord kept dumping stuff on Gejutel without explanation. Raskreia observes her father’s doings, and concludes that that’s the way to go when she doesn’t know how to approach something. Just hand it to Gejutel. So when the five thin air babies appear…. Yup, she just assigns Gejutel to them and yolos. Not my business. They’re the traitor clans’ new heirs, and back then Gejutel took good care of Claudia and her clan so he can manage five more right?? Right?? And as of now she doesn’t want to associate with them so… good luck Gejutel. Sorry. Ehh maybe not sorry. Anyways grandpa vomits blood and says goodbye to retirement. But he does follow her orders. Now he has 5 more kids to raise. Ugh. Btw Gejutel names all of them too cuz Rask being the negligent paranoid Lord she is, she doesn’t bother with it either. Gejutel raises them and has a good relationship with all five.

[sopuu]

So you know how Radar said something about Aiden wanting to redeem himself and how there was another letter saying "WATCH OUT" or something like that and it had the initials of W.P. On it?

Well 2 questions

1, If Aiden, Maya and Gill showed up to Beacontown to redeem themselves, how do you think everyone would react?

2, How do you think Cassie managed to get out of the hole she was in?

(in my opinion, I feel like Mevia and Hadrian had something to do with Cassie escaping.)

honestly? i don't think aiden and his gang would head back to beacontown, not on their own terms at least. as someone who's been tormenting jesse for god knows how long, to the point where he's willing to terrorise a city and commit murder if it means getting jesse out of the frame, i don't think it's his place to determine when he should show his face in front of him again (and i feel like aiden would understand that after he's done some growing and thinking of his own). redeeming can come in different ways- and he's definitely got a city's worth of mistakes to fix and atone for before heading home.

despite that, i imagine he'd occasionally send letters to jesse throughout the years post sky city, giving updates on the city's development on new land, how isa and milo are doing, complaining (jokingly) about how much of a bother community service is and most importantly assuring that they're working hard to redeem themselves there. he'd also make sure to drop in a subtle message saying he'd be willing to talk if jesse ever decides to come visit.

but if we do follow the hypothetical scenario, uhh i mean they probably wouldn't be getting much of a warm welcome considering where they all last left off lol. jesse, olivia and axel would definitely be more...skeptical, but if aiden and his gang were really genuine with their apology jesse would be the type to give them a second chance. after all these years he'd have matured himself too- he's seen the rise, falls, guilt and redemptions of even the most corrupted so he'd know if they're sincere about wanting to better themselves.

and lukas? oh this can be a whole post on its own bc i have so much to say on this. to shorten it though, he would not want to talk to them, especially aiden. ever. and rightfully so imo. it's a lot more personal to him than anyone else, because in my eyes they were once the best of friends, maybe even grew up together, and had genuinely great memories. if even after YEARS of that, aiden's jealousy of jesse grew to the point where he was willing (and even eager) to throw all that away -- was that really all their friendship meant to him? sure, he and the gang are more than apologetic for what they've done now. but if there hadn't been any water when lukas fell, or if he didn't make it into the lake, that's...it. there'd be no one to apologise to. and aiden kicked him off there knowing that full well. so yeah, lukas gets to not forgive in my book

as for cassie! tbh i don't have many thoughts on this lol, and i do like the idea that hadrian and mevia helped her out since it's implied she's an old builder too, plus they all have some sort of vendetta against jesse. or if we're going the more technical minecraft route she could've just. done a skyblock strat?? take the block behind the one she's on, place it in front, stand on that block, rinse and repeat till she's outta there fhdgks

[manonamora-if]

The Roads I Maybe Should Have Taken

The TRNT Post Mortem

Oye oye! As was promised, so it is! The Post Mortem for The Roads Not Taken (which hopefully won't be as long as the actual game...)

Follow me into my journey of once again speed-running my way through a competition, and coming out scratched and bruised and still not learning my lessons!

First, some links:

if you haven't played the game yet, I recommend you do before reading this!

you can find its IFDB page here (if you want to leave a review?)

and the STF version source code here for the code curious!

shortened version of the PostMortem on IntFic

Then, a little Table of Content:

The Idea

The Story

The Implementation

The Reception

The Do-Over?

And finally, we start! (under the break because it will be long - LoL at me writing 1/5th of TRNT as a Post Mortem)

I should preface this Post Mortem with I entered the SpringThing on a whim. I had just come out of a conga line of competitions and game jams since last Summer (log of release/update), and had plans on finishing working on other projects instead of this one (which I probably should have... sorry The Rye in the Dark City for abandoning you...). But I obviously didn't do that because here was another new fresh game! And then another two of those just after... whooops...

The idea for TRNT just popped into my brain one day and would not leave me until I implemented it, no matter what (yes, I am still weak willed, I have not learned my lesson from The Thick Table Tavern, the one about not rushing a project and publishing it at a later date when it is truly ready). I did have that thought in the back of my mind that if I do do this, it would be very likely I would end up with a repeat of TTTT, as in: half-full drink with too much ice, and expired garnish falling from the very pretty fancy glass.

Also I did not start working on the entry until the SeedComp was in its voting round (so around the 4-5th of March?). I really wasn't kidding about the speed-running thing....

Another thing: I had never created a parser game before this point AND suck real time at playing them! This was also indicated in my Author's comment.

Nothing obviously stopped me anyway, because here we are...

1- The Idea

A few weeks before the opening of the SpringThing intent, the French IF community was streaming some older parser entries, including Aisle* and Pick-Up the Phone Booth and Die, two games where the player can only do one action before the game ends. I'd never really experienced this kind of game before (the closest being having a sudden death/continue the story choice). It packed a punch, it was funny, and also so very weird. It left me dissatisfied and super intrigued. I wanted to try and do that too someday. *Funnily, someone on the French IF discord thought DOL-OS had been inspired by Sam Barlow's work (it wasn't, but TRNT def was).

Not, I am not going to be hella pretentious and full of myself by putting TRNT on the same level as those games (because I don't think I did a good enough job to merit a comparison), but the one-action-only gameplay and multiple endings drew me in (I love abrupt endings, cf P-Rix). I've mainly written longer form of IF rather than short bites, and I thought it would be fun to try to constrict myself as much as possible, by having just one thing, one action, one outcome.

And also: parsers. I had only dabbled with the Choice-Based/Hyperlink format, so I thought it was time to try the last unexplored part of my IF journey: parsers. Since the SpringThing Festival is a nice place to experiment, I thought why not try to make one then! I could not have survived the anxiety of the IFComp reviews for that one...

Still, it was not going to be without a challenge. I had very little experience with parsers, and I honestly didn't think I could learn how to use a parser program in such short amount of time*, when I had a lot of other stuff at the same time. So I thought, why not make it in Twine**, at least I know this program inside-and-out(almost). There would not be a steep learning curve there... What could go wrong? *lol at me, having made an Adventuron game in a non supported language in about 2 weeks after that, without ever having tried the program beforehand. I could totes have managed!! **Also, when I got set with Twine, I realised how fun it would be to maybe put people's expectations upside down by doing something you're not supposed to with Twine... or parsers!

Well, it was going right at first...

2- The Story

I really wanted to recreate the same gameplay of Aisle with its only-one-action-and-it's-over, so I started listing possible actions and put them into a context where this choice of action would mean everything for the PC - because it is the only action you have. Which might not have been a good take? Aisle works because the setting is incredible mundane, and there are no stakes.

The context pretty quickly drew itself as the player will chose a profession/career path, and if they do/choose something wrong, then...😬too bad for them, they made their choice, deal with the consequences. While, in reality, we are not stuck in a life because of one choice, but with a myriad of them (and still we can change this trajectory), it's still a big pressure you get as a youth, having to choose where to go and what to do when you are done with highschool, and what path to take. It's a lot of responsibility that sometimes feels like it will affect/haunt the rest of your life. Do I still have some of that school/parental pressure from when I had to make that choice ingrained somewhere inside? probably...

But the more foolish idea was to let my brain continue to think more about that context and create a world and story further than the choice. Instead of going forward with the consequences and the hints of what could have happened or just let the choice being the centre piece, the brain just went backwards and created a society (some sort of futuristic one) and vaguely described beings (that are not humans), and the ritualistic culture of this society, etc... While it was fun to think about all of those, and maybe provided a fun setting and enticing story for the player to go through the game, there might have been a bit too much of it. I think, in hindsight, this may have devalued the choice itself (which became even more watered down when I continued on writing the first screens).

And so, the job choice soon became the player is going through some sort of ritual (v trope-y) to determine their place in society. If it has a vibe of The Giver, it shouldn't be too surprising, the book is on my shelf.

So we still have the one-choice-to-rule-them-all, but now there is a also backstory and setting... and I have to include it somewhoeeven if it means cramming it somewhere, anywhere.

Oh wait, I thought, I'll just make it like a prologue to build anticipation for the choice!

And so the brain went on zooming again to create the waiting room, and the agonising walk in the corridor, and the finding your way to the altar, before you cant finally make your choice..... only to end up with two(-ish) paragraphs for each endings. wow - what a good balanced game this is becoming...

Speaking of endings, I had originally listed over 50 actions, each planned to have a different ending.... only to end up with about 11, 7 of those were actually related to the final countdown choice. It made me sadder than when I cut onions :(

It wasn't just the player that needed to make...

At this point, we were two weeks away from the deadline. I had the backbone of the code (-ish), a good third of the writing wasn't complete (and this was mainly those 11 endings), and no one had tested the game yet. There was no way I could have included all 50 original options if I wanted to make the deadline. might have been good in hindsight to remove those choices, especially with the current command system.

So choices had to be made and a buttload of planned things had to be cut. I narrowly managed to finish the needed endings in time (which required re-writing some of those into a fake choice), at least.

At the end, I strayed quite a bit from the Aisle concept of a mini intro - one action - an ending puzzle-y feel (and making the player piece the story together from the endings), to arrive at... well... this anxiously geolian walk to one's doom (or dream). Making the story quite... well... linear.

And from going somewhat wrong, it went a little wrong-er...

3- The Implementation

Wanting to avoid the headache of learning a new program, I had settled on Twine pretty much from the start (SugarCube, because that's how I've been rolling for the past almost 2 years!).

The big problématiques of this project were:

Twine is not a parser program (duh)

SugarCube has its limitations still (and macros that don't always work the way you want to)

I had never written a parser game before and suck at playing them (thank you, French IF streams that helps me enjoy them without experiencing the frustration of not finding the right combo!)

I still suck at JavaScript/jQuery to do weird things with the page (and probably fix all those issues)

and well did I already say Twine is not a parser program?

So I tried to get to the basic of parsers (an input box and text revealing itself onto the page when a command is entered) and prayed for the best. Easy, right?

WRONG!

SugarCube has an input box, but can only autofocus* inside one specific place (so you can't lock it somewhere else but the passage itself, which means you need to add it to every screen...) and when the passage is first loaded (doesn't work if the input box is added later on). *I have also hurt some kitten by overusing autofocus, which was only compensated by offering the the SugarCube God some bug reports about it so those issues could be fixed for the next update (TBA). But you really are not supposed to use autofocus as much as I did... 😬

SugarCube has an input box, but you can only move to another passage after you press Enter. So you can't have some fancy input checks, and you stay on the same page... without some custom listener macro* that is (Bless you Maliface and your Listen Macro) - or I guess some JavaScript code, but who has time for that... I had included a button as an alternative to confirm the commands (which was how I had coded it for DOL-OS), but it would have made the parser experience much worse if using Enter would not have loaded a response (this was a criticism from DOL-OS, which now that I know how to fix, I really should do so...). *at least until the next Sugarcube update which will include a listener.

SugarCube has an input box, but doesn't have a bank of commands, or set object indicator (like with the parsers). While you can technically separate the inputed words with some JavaScript**, whether you do so or not will end with the same amount of spaghetti code at the end, with the different conditional statements for each actions on each screen to show the correct text bits (mine amounted to almost 600 lines of code for 7 screens... without included the printed text! -> see the source code). Now that I've messed around with Adventuron, I can see how easy it is to make a parser game (set up commands and rooms and interactive object), when you have a bank of built-in commands and not have to worry about how to add the new text on the screen. Twine really added a new layer of complexity to this.... Was there a better way of doing this? probably, but don't look at me to find it. *this was how the name chosenname command came to be, and how it only printed the chosen name on the following screens. That and the autofocus being messy...

SugarCube can add text bits to a page, but unlike parser programs, it won't automatically scroll down to the bottom of the page, or at least to the added element. Adding a scroll down to the bottom or scroll up to the page was not too hard (I had some leftover js code), but it was not the solution: the UI is mobile/tablet accessible (smaller screens), which means scrolling to the bottom would make those players having to manually scroll back up (and I am usually quite verbose in my writing). So very much EH.... NOT GREAT! After quite a lot of testing, broken pieces of code, way too much swearing, and re-doing the base of the UI, I did manage to find a solution.... a month into the review/voting period.

But even with those limitations, I pushed through. I knew it was possible to make it work, so I either tried to find work arounds (and gave up the scrolling, at least until the deadline), and pushed through, banging my head against my desk because of what was achievable...

LIKE BUILDING A WHOLE COMMANDS SYSTEM...

Wanting to make things easy for myself (and the players), I thought maybe removing all verbs would make it easier to go through the game, even when having to interact with objects or people around. Enter the bolded word* from the text as the input, press enter, and read the new text! *It was important for me to have some sort of "easy" mode where the interactive things were obvious to the player, coming from a scene where parsers are not the norm/favoured.

Simple right?

This idea... stopped working as soon as I introduced physical actions (sit, stand, jump, etc...), directional actions (the story might be linear but it still has multiple rooms), but most importantly as soon as I wrote flavour texts for one same object. Even if I could get away with removing X/LOOK/EXAMINE*, adding verbs at the end was a necessity (I didn't want to see all the already written variation go to waste...). *I did include look in the code, but mistakenly didn't think about its synonym <- shows the no-knowledge of parser, and not having a bank of commands built-in.

So verbs were added, and then some of its synonyms (but evidently not the most important ones 😬), and then some prepositions just in case, and noun synonyms with adjectives because of how it is described in the text, and then.... so on and so forth. And because of how SugarCube is set, I ended up with lines like this at the end:

<<if ["initiate", "look initiate", "look at initiate", "remember initiate", "initiates", "look initiates", "look at initiates", "remember initiates", "recall initiate", "recall initiates"].contains(_cmd)>>

(and this is not even a correct or complete command list, since it is missing EXAMINE and X)

Et rebelotte for all the interactive words on the page, as well as the added variations requiring another set other verbs. There's not really a verb/noun aliases list to help...

BUT WAIT

Because I always like to make it difficult for myself and not think of the amount of work my ideas/plan will require, I had to make some bits of text appear only once (even if some commands could be used more than once on that page) OR removing the player's ability to make a different action when they do a specific one AND have some bits of text only appear after a command has been used on that page. Pushing the player through extra invisible gates on top of the different rooms. I could have made it easier on myself to break scenes further than I had already done, but nooooooo

And I did this not just once. BUT THREE TIME! When the player is called to get in line, in the corridor, and just before the big doors.

I could have fed myself for a whole week with the spaghetti that came out of my code.

But Manon, I can hear the little devil on my shoulder say, Why all the whining and excuses? You could have stopped if it turned out to be a bad idea, especially if you couldn't implement it properly. Why not have made the story in something else than a parser?

Well...

because Time (wa)s running out and I wasn't going to let all this hard work go to waste by changing everything up at the last minute (it could have worked/been easier, that's true)

because it was still a fun puzzle to solve, even if frustrating most of the time,

because you learn more when you fail than when you win

I'm not a quitter :P (hiding my too many WIPs waiting for me....)

Even if I doubted myself with finishing the game on time, I still pushed myself to cross the finish line, since I knew I would not have finished the project otherwise. Thought it could have been fun to get the 12 angry men passing judgement on my Twine monstrosity making a mockery of parsers had I submitted it to the very serious ParserComp instead. /jk lovingly

So after some "extensive" testing (rushed in the last week, because I am a nightmare to people, sorry @groggydog and @lapinlunairegames for making you go through this, but also thank you for your help!!), I made it to the end!

Well... barely. Ended up with a few bug fixes update along the way.

4- The Reception

(it was like that in my heart)

Like TTTT, this was not explosion of praise and accolades. And I fully expected it. You can't make experiments omelettes without cracking a few programs/rules eggs. At least my omelette didn't have too many eggshells :P

Looking at the numbers, at the time of writing this posts, TRNT is currently sitting at 5 stars (4 ratings) on itch, and 3-1/2 stars on IFDB (2 ratings)*, with 4 reviews on the Forum (bellow the median/average this festival). None of the ratings game with reviews/comments. *When some of the reviews will be moved to the IFDB, I do expect this average to get lower. The itch one is nice (really happy 4 peeps loved it!), but most people only rate when they didn't like it or when they loved it.

As for the feedbacks gotten, they came from a few sources: the people who playtested TRNT, dms on Tumblr and the Forum, the Twine server, and the awaited reviews on the Forum.

Overall, the people who liked the game really enjoyed themselves, from the writing and the worldbuilding being intriguing, or how pretty the UI was. Even with the issues raised during the festival, quite a lot of people (who sent me comments) thought the experiment was either a success, something really cool, or impressive considering the limitations (of the festival and/or of the program). Even in the more critical comments, this experiment was seen as an interesting one to be commended (with a bit of a why did you bother... sprinkled in there). Someone told me TRNT reminded them of the Divergent series (and fair comparison, considering the whole ritual to put you in one job for the rest of your life).

The most surprising thing was that people who never played parser before (or didn't really liked them) found the game entertaining and fun to go through, managing to get to the end without too many issues; while the reviewers with more experience in the genre had a bit more restraints due to the command system I put in place.

Whether my giddiness about verbose writing was to the liking of the player or not, I was honestly happy comments about my grammar didn't make much of an appearance this time around (yay, progress!), and that I would get kudos for the vague story behind the experiment itself, and the structure of the story itself.

But this doesn't mean that it was all sunshine and rainbow here. TRNT had some obvious issues, which should have been squashed during the testing phase had this one been longer (yet again, me speed-running through comps when I should take my time... when will I learn...). There were two main ones: the commands and the UI.

The biggest issue came from the commands, being either unclear or confusing, especially when it came to the cardinal direction, the choice of synonym for the actions, or special actions like the name input. Even if you could go along the story with just a noun or press C until you reached the end, missing important verb commands did not help the game feel complete (EXAMINE/GET/the shortcuts). This is where having some Parser knowledge/experience would have come handy, he.... As for the cardinal directions, it was probably most confusing because I used them as synonyms for forward/back/left/right instead of N/S/W/E (that and it wasn't clear where you were able to go in the text either). Quite a few players were also getting stuck in the corridor (after you come to a stop, you hear some thing up front and your choices are to move to the side/jump or stand still). Special actions like the name input or the final choice were felt a bit off/broke immersion. Party due to the way SugarCube is, partly due to how I organised the game. Having a simple input where the player is asked for their name before the game start and have a say name command, might have worked better there. That and a better hinting system. Fix for those TBD.

Closely followed was the UI being annoying (which ;-; bc I pride myself on creating good UI, but it was fair critique), from the scrolling being an absolute ass, to the confusing bolding of the start of passages being the same as the interactive words (if you didn't change the colour in the settings), to the back/replay last choice command on the END screen not going to the right spot, or the responses of computing an inputted command not appearing/being confusing (in relation to the scrolling), some quirks with the UI being wonky for some screen sizes, etc... Thankfully, all those have been fixed.... but too late for the reviews already published. A quick revamp of the UI base + solving the scrolling issue + slight reformatting of the printed new text bits solved if not all of those issues. Still... too little too late... That's what you get for making a UI in a large screen and only checking different width but not different heights....

A SIDENOTE ON WHY PARSER AND NOT HYPERTEXT

Or me going a bit on a rant. Scroll down to pt 5- The Do-Over to resume coherent levelled conversation.

Still, making a parser a Twine was a CHOICETM, which didn't work for everybody. I don't know if it was because the game was put forth as a Twine game before being a parser, or because the story was maybe a bit too linear/not very interactive compared to other parsers, or because I set out to make a parser before thinking of a story and it showed for some, (or probably because the parser system was not very well implemented) but I did have a few commenters wondering if my choice of making it a parser was the correct one, as in why would you use parser when hyperlinks would have probably worked better?

Maybe a cop-out answer would be Why not. Why not try to break the rules and the codes of what is a Twine game or what is a parser? Why not push Twine to where it is probably not supposed to go (sorry, TME)? Why not blur the lines of the divides between the subgenres of IF? I wrote some part while having a bit of a fever, and my notes had Why not make parsers less puzzle-y/more linear choice-based like? and oh boi is it good to re-read yourself... Cause yiekes what a load of BS.

The other part of the answer is Because experimenting and doing weird thing is fun! Doing weird thing, writing bad code that should probably not work but it does, putting the program on a lifeline, making up stories that are nonsensical, etc... and breaking people's mind in the process with what could be done. Also it was just fun to find out whether it was just possible to do it at all. The rush of happiness when you the puzzle is solved is so incredibly gratifying. It was really fun to try something different (for me but also for what Twine can generally do), to solve a puzzle of mashing two things that don't/shouldn't go together, to find what makes them tick and make it all work, and to challenge myself to do something new (did I mention before it was my fist time making a parser?). AND, having fun creating! And the SpringThing has always been a beacon to promote experimentation with the genre and more out there stuff. So it's was kind of like the stars aligned or something :P

Also Because it was possible!That one is pretty self-explanatory...

Maybe a bit more presumptuous of me: Because experimenting keeps Interactive Fiction fresh and exciting! I'm not trying to set a trend or anything here (honestly, it's not too strange, TRNT's weirdness kind of follows my previous work with TTTT and its mixology element, or DOL-OS with it computer interphase), but isn't fun to see what else can be done in IF, or what new area can be explored now that funky stuff has been tried, or what else should probably not be done (hopefully this doesn't apply to TRNT lol, I think it should be fun to have more parser in Twine). Even if my entry was not really a novel idea even in the gameplay (exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit C), I still think there should be more weird stuff out there, so I contribute to that where/when I can! It'd be sad if IF became same-y and stale... It'd be fun if someone did something like this because they played TRNT and thought it was neat :P

And Because it didn't fit with my original vision of the game. Even if the game changed quite a lot along the way, the parser element was something I would not compromise with, no matter how good or bad the final product was. Sorry TME for the kittens lost in the autofocus of the textboxes...

I did wonder for a while how many people opened the settings at all 🤔

5- The Do-Over?

Ha.

Haha.

Hahaha.

No.

Honestly... If I was going back to the start, I don't think I would change anything. Even if the length of the testing was more than minimal (still haven't learned my lesson), even if I rushed into the competition (again, not learned my lesson), even if I made errors along the way (well, maybe fixing the UI earlier instead) or let the story stray that much away from the original idea (honestly it was probably for the best that it ended not being too close to Aisle at the end, I might have gotten eviscerated in the reviews). It did what it was supposed to do, and checked all the boxes from what I wanted to try. At the end, to me, it was a complete (and stressful success).

Will there be some changes in the future?

Just a bit, at some point, TBD and TBA. Just to fix the commands a bit, maybe rearrange some passages, add a bit more variation/hidden codex entries, maybe even a new ending or two! But it wouldn't go further than that. TRNT was an experiment through and throuh.

==================== THE END ====================

Anyway, my weird hybrid beast of a parser in Twine and I are done rambling about my awesome show of tricks that may or may not have landed badly and with a broken skateboard. We will go collect our ribbons, now!

Make IF weird, Do word crimes, Have fun

I do wonder if me submitting the game in the Main Garden rather than at the Back Garden played into the expectations of the reviewers, since the BG is meant for more experimental IF. But in the same vein, there was the Kuolema running on a Google Form and people flocked to it so 🤷 It's probably the quality that made things the way it is whooooops :P

[warriorstale001]

Xtra Small Update.

As most of you following me are probably aware, I have a fic on AO3 called Xtra Small or XS is it's shortened abbreviation. I started writing it when I was VERY new to the UTMV and to writing fics in general.

It's... been a while since I updated it... In fact, today marks two years since its last update... And that is a fact I'm not proud of ^^'...

(More info and explanation about why I've been taking so long to write the next chapter below, but to summarise the main point: I have not given up on XS and plan to have another chapter out soon)

Why haven't I updated it in so long? Well there's quite a few reasons really, but the main one that kept me struggling to continue writing for so long was the fact I just didn't feel proud of my writing in that fic anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still love XS and it will always be precious to me (especially kiddo Cross hehe :3), but I just couldn't help but compare myself to... Well everyone whose writing I came across, especially if they wrote babybone fics too. And when people commented on my earlier chapters in the fic I would cringe and wonder how they possibly got through them since I just kept thinking of all the 'better' fics out there.

So for a while I ignored XS and started writing other fics that I felt more proud of and that I think show how I've grown as an author, but I never planned on abandoning XS fully. Over these past 2 years I have gotten sooo many comments from people who have read the fic asking when an update is coming or just telling me that they really enjoyed the story and honestly, that's made me feel more confident in my writing. It really means a lot that despite all this time, people haven't given up that I'll continue the fic and I can't let them or myself down by just never getting around to update it. It made me slowly appreciate XS again for the fic it is. It's not perfect, but if it can bring enjoyment to a reader for even a little bit, then it makes me happy knowing 'Hey, I wrote that :3' hahs ^^

It almost took 2 years to write, but last week I finally finished writing the first draft of the next chapter of the story. It'll take time to edit, but I'm pleased to say that there will definitely be a chapter coming soon enough. Hopefully late April/beginning of May at the latest.

If you're still here two years on since I last updated, then I just want to say thanks for sticking around so long and I'm sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger for so long. I love you guys and I really hope this next chapter will be worth it.

Thank for not giving up on me or XS!

And thanks to those who are here mainly for OSDiff for being patient too ^^!

Have a super day everyone <3!

[lightningbig]

updated family picture :D

patterns/explanations under the cut!

hello hello! I thought some people would be interested in making their own lil huevitos so I put together a guide for how I made them :) 

for all these, stitch count and rows might depend on what yarn you’re using and hook size! I made these using various scrap yarn that I already had, which was mostly worsted weight yarn. I used a smaller hook (size 3.5mm) to make most of the accessories but feel free to use whatever sizes work for you and the yarn that you have! some of the accessories have patterns that I used, but for others I made things up as I went along so I've tried to explain what I did as best I can :) 

for all the eggs: 

I used this pattern to make the base egg, I used pillow stuffing for them but you can use whatever kind of filling you’d like

for the legs, I made a short icord (start by leaving a long tail for sewing onto the egg, then I did 6 rows for mine and didn’t fasten off) and then I made the feet by doing three picots (once the legs are the length you want, take the three loops off your hook and put a stitch marker (or a safety pin/anything like that) in the first two loops, just to make sure you don’t lose them. reinsert your hook into the last loop, chain 2, and turn. then slip stitch back into the base of the icord, completing your first picot. slip the next stitch off your stitch marker and back onto the hook and slip stitch again, chain 2, and slip stitch back into the base icord. repeat for the last loop, and then fasten off & weave in) 

you can sew the legs on the bottom of the eggs now, or wait until you’ve added the accessories first! I did accessories first and then the legs, but either order will work :) 

Tilin: for tilin’s bow, I made a long icord and tied it into a bow (youtube tutorial I followed) 

Ramon: I used this pattern for the mustache

Dapper: I used the top hat section from this pattern 

Jaunaflippa: for her glasses, I crocheted three slim rectangles to make the frames (just a ch10 with one row of single crochet) and attached them together to make the glasses shape. for the lenses, I crocheted two little squares (ch4, three rows of sc) and then sewed them onto the frames. it probably won’t hold the glasses structure on its own, since the yarn won’t be very stiff, so I recommend sewing it onto the egg in three places - each arm of the glasses, and then the middle bridge in the front. 

Trump: I used this pattern for the hat but I stopped after row 7. I made the magic ring while holding three colors (red, orange, and blue) and then made the first row, switching colors every 2 single crochets and carrying the others along. I added in the green when I did the first increase of row 2, and then continued the pattern, changing colors and carrying along as I went. I kind of just winged this one, and just tried to keep the sections of colors as even as I could. if you’re using thicker yarn here, you might not need as many rows, because carrying the colors along will take up more space and make the hat bigger. once it gets about as big as you want it you can fasten off with the color you left off working with, and then I finished with one row of single crochet in the black yarn. to make the propeller, i made a short icord in gray, and then sewed it to the top of the hat with black yarn. 

Leo: I kind of took the shape of this cat hat design and played around with it to make the backwards hat. for round 6 of the pattern, I adjusted it by only doing the first chain section and shortening it - I think I ended up only chaining 10 so that the gap wouldn’t be too big. and then I didn’t repeat it the second time, just did a sc in each remaining stitch instead. i did one more row of sc all around, and then fastened off. reattach the yarn at the back of the hat, somewhere opposite the gap you made with the chains section, and then build up a brim for the hat with a few double crochets. 

Bobby: for the overalls, I used a hook a size bigger than whichever one I used to make the base egg (in my case, I used a 4.5mm hook for the egg, so I used a 5.5mm here). then, I used the same pattern for the egg, stopping after R9. this makes the bottom part of the overalls, and now we’re going to make the bib. I just continued along here, as if starting the next row, and did 1 half double crochet, 10 double crochets, and then 1 hdc. stop here, chain 1, and turn your work. slip stitch into the hdc, and then make 10 dc, and slip stitch into the last stitch. this made a high enough bib for me, so I stopped here, but you can continue building up in this fashion if you’d like! with the yarn still attached, I fitted the overalls onto the egg, so I can make the suspenders. for this, I chained from the corner of the bib I left off on. I think mine ended up being about 15 chains, but you just want to make enough that you can reach the suspender to the back of the overalls and attach it there (I criss-crossed them in the back, but if you put the suspenders straight back, the chains will be shorter). attach the chain where you want it with a slip stitch, and then fasten off. to make the other suspender, attach your yarn at the other corner of the bib, and chain the same amount and attach at the back like the first one, and fasten off. weave in your ends, and to make the suspenders more secure, you can sew them onto the egg where you’d like them to lay (I sewed the ‘tops’ of them on, like where the shoulders would sit so they didn’t slide off). for the blue pocket at the front, I crocheted a smaller rectangle (about ch8, 2 rows of single crochet) and sewed it onto the front bib of the overalls. 

Chayanne: for the floatie, I held my yarn double and used a bigger hook (5.5mm) and made an icord long enough to fit around the egg. once i made it long enough, I fastened off the end, and sewed the two ends together to complete the tube. it should still have enough stretch to let you fit it over the egg, but tight enough that it’ll stay in place on its own. 

for the wings (make 2) - 

chain 5, turn, sc in the second from the hook, sc in next 3 (4 sc) 

ch 1, turn, do two decreases (2 sc) 

ch 1, turn, decrease (1 sc) 

fasten off, leave a long tail for sewing 

for the tail & beak (make 2, one yellow & one orange) - 

sc 4 in a magic ring 

sc 4 around 

fasten off, leave a long tail for sewing 

for the duck head - 

sc 6 in a magic ring (6 sc) 

increase in each around (12 sc) 

*increase in next stitch, 2 sc* repeat around (18 sc) 

sc in each around (18 sc) 

add a bit of filling in now, to help keep the shape (I used some yarn scraps, but anything works) 

*sc, decrease* repeat around (12 sc) 

decrease all around (6 sc) 

fasten off and leave a long tail for closing and sewing, thread through the back loops of the last 6 sc and pull closed

to assemble together, I sewed the wings onto the floatie first, so I could place them evenly next to each other on either side. then I could easily find the middle to sew the tail onto one end, and the head onto the other. you can sew the beak onto the head last, or you can do that first before attaching the head onto the body. 

Tallulah: for the hat, I again started out with this sunhat pattern, but I stopped after round 5. then I made a bit of ribbing, to make it look more like a beanie. so make one round of double crochets (24 dc), and then make one round of alternating front post/back post double crochet, which will make the ribbing affect. fasten off and weave in ends. 

for the hair, I used this page as a guide, and just played around with a few techniques until I found something I thought looked nice! I went the route of making a small ‘wig cap’ (a small circle I made following the same first few rows of the egg pattern) and I attached a few chains of different lengths and stitch heights to make some curls. once I was happy with the way the hair looked, I sewed it into the hat using the little ‘wig cap’ I’d made, and then fit the hat onto the egg. 

Gegg: for the slime spots, I just used a few different green colors and made a few circles of various sizes, then sewed them on where I thought looked good. the stick is just another icord, about 6 rows long, and then I made the glasses the same way I wrote earlier for Juannaflippa, just adding on the two small black squares for eyes (chain 3 and about 2 rows of 2 sc)

RIcharlyson: I’ll be honest, the Richas shirt was kind of a struggle LMAO I couldn’t find a pattern that would fit the right size for the egg, so I ended up really just winging things and hoping for the best. I used this pattern as a rough guide, but the shirt it makes is way bigger than you need for the lil egg so you have to scale things down quite a bit. I unfortunately didn’t take coherent notes while doing this, so I don’t remember my numbers exactly </3 

the details on the front of the shirt were then sewed on afterwards with some of the scrap green yarn 

for his leg & prosthetic, I followed the same process as explained earlier when making the feet but halfway through (after row 3 of the icord) I switched from black yarn to silver and finished it out the same way I made the rest

Pomme:  for the beret, I used this pattern, and then for the red and blue blush marks, I crocheted two small rectangles (basically just a chain 2 and 1 row of sc) and then sewed them on

I hope these are helpful! if you have any questions or if anything isn’t clear, just let me know and I’ll do my best to help :) happy crocheting friends! 

[yandere-sins]

So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

[misogynisticmediatournament]

I think the warrior cats and warriors in your submission list are the same thing,btw do you have reccomendations of like. anything that writes woman well

Ah, you might be right; I think I skimmed that entry's propaganda, and it was very specific to whatever series it was about without dropping the full series name, and I was like "Maybe this is Warrior Cats? I feel lazy, I'm not going to look heavily into it."

So, as a reminder: use the full but common name for the series! For example, Miraculous Ladybug (this seems to be the most common title despite being a shortened version), Warrior Cats, BBC Sherlock, etc. And check that you don't have a space after the title's entry, as that counts as a different entry than the title without the space when using the UNIQUE function in Google sheets (which is how I count the unique entries).

As for recommendations, this is hard because I watch a lot of trash, especially recently, but:

- You can never go wrong with Revolutionary Girl Utena. Note: this show (and start with the show, not the movie) has a lot of potentially triggering stuff, so check out those warnings before you start if you have any triggers at all. It uses the triggering stuff very well and to tell its story and explore its themes, not just for, like, titillation though. Indeed, it is, I would argue, necessary for the story and themes the show seeks to explore. It is legally free on Youtube in...I want to say 480p, and in better resolution on Crunchyroll and Funimation (yes, Funimation's site is still up; I find it superior to Crunchyroll's since it actually includes closed captions for dubs, although it doesn't include newer anime from after the two companies merged). Also, you want to watch the sub for this. I'm normally not one to say "the dub is bad" and stuff and be a purist about it—in fact I normally go to bat for dubs—but, uh... yeah, the dub is bad this time. Crispin Freeman and Dan Green are delightful in it though, I'll give it that.

- Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood uses its female characters well. Maybe it could be better, I've seen some people in these tournaments have beef with it, but it's a pretty perfectly told story, like solid A+, with a lot of really great female characters who I find very satisfying so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This is on Crunchyroll, Hulu, and I believe Amazon Prime?

- Don't let the title fool you: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a fantastic show with great female characters who are complex and human, have compelling arcs, and are vital to the story. The relationship between Rebecca and Paula is central to the show and SO good, especially as the show goes on. The title is because it explores the trope of the crazy ex-girlfriend in a very humanizing way, and the title/opening song even mentions how the title is a sexist term, but it's a lot more nuanced than that. Also, it's a musical with very good original songs every episode. But check trigger warnings for this show too though. The show is streaming on Netflix last I checked.

- Uhh... maybe the first two seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic? It's a kid's show, but it's good. I haven't seen it in years and years though, so I don't know if I can still fully vouch for it. I believe it is streaming on Netflix?

- Revue Starlight? I haven't thought about it heavily, but I had no beef watching it. This is streaming on HiDive.

- I've heard good things about Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, but I can't vouch for it personally. It's streaming on Crunchyroll.

UPDATE: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury is also legally on youtube!

Honestly, I know more imperfect shows that I'm satisfied with, like I give it a B+ to A- at least, but that I haven't thought heavily about than stuff where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely, nothing I'd pick out there as a problem." For example, Baccano! is probably imperfect (as well as not streaming legally anywhere), but I don't remember being, like, struck by a bunch of problems there. So, I'm not the best for recs that I can give a 100% guarantee for.

[palettepainter]

Hired Sparky update

Feels like it's been a while since I've posted an update on Hired Sparky

I have some drawings in the works which I can hopefully show off soon, drawings which show off some stuff that happens in the earlier chapters but nothing too spoiler heavy. The side characters line up chart is one character away from being completed, I'm really struggling with said characters design so this one will potentially take the longest to post

As for the chapters of the story themselves, I'm confident in like the first 5 chapters of the story are to my liking, but there's a possibility I may have to re-write a decent chunk of one chapter.

So far I have nine chapters written out for Hired Sparky, but with how much I still have left to write in order to reach the ending, there could be another 3 chapters I have to write, bringing the total chapter count to 12.

The chapters are each around 8000-12000 words in length, which I personally I think is a long enough chapter length to keep my focus without getting bored. However with the last few chapters still being written, I may extended or shorten that word count to try and cut down the amount of chapters I need to write. Out of curiosity which do you lot prefer?

[mahuhumaling]

if i wrote a fix-it fic for our skyy x bbs x atots,

this would probably be some of my changes. half-unserious 💃🏽

(making this into an incoherent spur-of-the-moment bulleted list because i've had recurring thoughts since the dawn of time a.k.a. the release of the episodes itself + i don't have the time to actually write it. will update when i remember something.)

would tie pat's hair into a korn ponytail in the entire first episode except for the "lying down, looking at the stars" scene. very girlypop of him to have his hair down when it's time for bed ❤️ only in the BBS only episode though, because his hair length and style in Pha Pun Dao is noticeably different (ahem since obviously ohmnanon filmed those scenes secretly first, then bad buddy weeks later ahem). it's shorter and better looking

patpran would've kissed in all of the first three interrupted scenes (deepa wrote about one of it btw and i'm accepting this as headcanon now thank you) and wouldn't have the kiss in the ATOTS only episode of the crossover

for instance: when pat pecks pran on the lips in the mosquito net scene, pran doesn't aggressively push him away and scold him. instead, he breaks the kiss off by putting his hands on pat and pulls away from him slightly, does his Episode 12 Eye Rolling™️ fond facial expression, snorts, and says, "Not you, idiot." i'll keep the fact that pat plays it off and claims that he got carried away, but pran remains standing there by the corner with a challenging and smug look on his face. it takes pat approximately 3 seconds before realizing: oh? pat smirks and kisses him right there—

would've removed the shirtless phuphapat scene or shortened it because the joke was getting too long to the point where it was uncomfortable and it felt objectifying

while finding pran and tian, phupha stops pat from stepping on a snail as a more subtle 1000 stars callback. pat finds that behavior cute and soft which is yes. absolute yes. tsundere phupha supremacy. this idea >>>>> pat sniffing trees (courtesy of @pranpats) (listen listen listen. there are ridiculous jokes and then there was whatever that was.)

pran comes out of this tent with multiple hickies. pat, too. tian teases him about it and he flushes because he didn't notice. pran glares at pat who's just grinning ear to ear and while pran tries to cover it up, pat just walks around flaunting it.

they don't get lost in the woods because phupha is a forest ranger who has known his way around for nearly/over a decade

okay ik it was integral to the plot though so this has saving grace. alternatively, they get lost in the woods but only once and here is where tian and pran / pat and phupha get to Talk. (broke: pran = tian, pat = phupha. WOKE: pran = phupha, pat = tian.) we explore a layer of phupha's characterization here that was not explored much in the original 10 eps of 1000stars since they don't get together until the last ending, so pat providing phupha a tian-esque clarity of recklessness + raw honesty + insufferable youth behavior and making him learn how other couples' situations operate and how that relates to how he's been behaving. in other words, phupha discovers patpran's family rivalry (a great segue as to how 1000stars fans who have never watched bbs can briefly learn about the story just like how they introduced the play for bbs fans who have never watched 1000stars. the lack of reciprocation felt really one-sided 🙁) because pat is a chatterbox. not to be reductive, but patpran's sort of secrecy could really shake phupha because "phuphatian have it a little easier. they're different." bla bla bla phupha learns communication better,,,,, meanwhile pran has an epiphany from tian about compromises and reflects on his own behavior from there.

i thought they were going with that route so it was a bit disappointing to see that it wasn't explored enough

there was genuinely a very sweet vibe/aura around here. objectively speaking i think it would've been great if there was kiss here. conveys sincerity that pran cannot vocalize enough, reassures pat's secret insecurities. also it's overall a visually pretty and romantic scene. something tells me in my gut that... lmao nevermind.

also pat puts on pran's watch instead of pran putting it on himself

gASPPP imagine that before this ^ scene, there will be a scene of patpran waking up together that parallels the beginning of episode 2 of them waking up separately and doing their morning routine in their dorms. they do another morning routine montage except now they're side by side. well, almost. pran gets out of bed and turns off the alarm... while pat doesn't. pran goes back to him a couple of times to wake him up but he just grumbles. pran considers kicking him awake but slyly yells "okay i'm gonna go take a bath~!" pat is just "mmm. 'kay." pran pauses and goes, "hm? kay? you don't want to join me?" pat springs up from the mat.

more general stuff

would've lessened the references to the original episodes or made them more subtle. it was too much and they kept repeating even the same ones like the numbering system after sex 😭 pls make it stop

tian wouldn't have felt like such a damsel in distress with everyone constantly taking care of him. we know he's reckless and constantly forgets to take his meds, but to the point of not keeping at least one on him is a little much

(this isn't for people who don't like that other fans disliked the special btw, especially 1000stars fans. because tbh if it weren't for the proposal, we felt really screwed over. :DD good for some bbs fans that they liked the crossover, really hashtag blessed for them, but i'm all for the to each their own here.)

[foulfirerebel]

Do you have any complaints About rwby? Or at last something you think could’ve been done better?

A lot,of fellow rwby fans seem to agree the white fang storyline wasn’t handled very well. But at the same time I keep seeing those same people acting like ghira did nothing wrong, that Blake is some badass rebel when canon doesn’t seem to support that currently, etc.

Oh boy. Strap in for this one.

So, I thought as much as I could focus on this since I've had the flu for the past three weeks. And I realize my complaints and thoughts are very small when it comes to this particular subject. But, if you're curious, read on below the cut.

Spoilers for RWBY V1-V9, the books, and games.

So, let's just get one thing out of the way first: I loved Monty Oum's fight scenes but they hurt my eyes to watch now. And I'm not sure why. To preempt a long rant, I'll say this. I prefer the fight scenes we have in V4-V9 to the ones in V1-V3. They contain more narrative tension to me then the earlier ones (Except for the train fights in V2, and the entirety of the Fall of Beacon in V3).

I'm not a huge fan that Yang doesn't get much in V1, with a bulk of her character starting in V2. I'm even less of a fan of the fact that Weiss' racism toward Blake in V1 felt a little swept aside instead of one of the many facets of her character that evolved over time. Ice Queendom, to me, helped this a lot but there's a lot that could be said there too.

As everyone seems to hate the Jaundice part of V1, I will also throw my two cents in: it went by fast for me given V7 was my first "live" volume and I binged all the others. It could've been shortened, made way for Yang characterization or otherwise. Cardin can get yeeted into the sun for all I care.

Now, of course, there's the White Fang part of the Faunus plot. For the record, I don't think it's the WORST racism storyline or allegory attempted (See: Overwatch, Detroit: Become Human, and others for worse) but it definitely needed more polishing. Give Sienna Khan more screentime and more of a presence, show more of the distinction between Ghira, Sienna, and Adam and either 1) Make Sienna's death a full-blown fight scene and last stand, 2) A sneak attack rigged heavily in Adam's favor that gets exposed later on and causes the White Fang to disown him, or 3) Have Sienna live and aid Blake and the Faunus militia afterward.

There are other changes too, mind you, like having the White Fang under Adam express doubt in what they're doing only for Adam or Cinder to silence them or something like that. We got that with Ilia, and I love her story, but we needed some more like that.

The following are going to be under the "just bugs me" complaints, nothing too huge or rant filled and I can elaborate if needed:

I wish we got more Happy Huntresses stuff, because I find the Ace Ops/Happy Huntresses ratio in V7/V8 to be...unevenly weighted toward the Ace Ops. Understandable, but still.

I'm sure we'll get this in V10, but I'd like an update on the rest of the world's current situations. Vale, Mistral, Menagerie, the changes that occurred, etc.

I'll be happy when Penny returns or is confirmed officially to be truly dead. If the latter, I'll be complaining more about "wasted potential". If the former, I'd like to see how she'd be revived.

Summer Rose. I need more answers.

Just something fandom related: Stop going after Ghira and Tai Yang for the love of all that is holy. If you'd like examples of awful parentage, Jacques, Marcus Black, Cinder's wicked Stepmom, Neo's parents, Roman and Nora's unnamed mothers, Raven Branwen and even Lil Miss are right there. Also, Jax and Gill's guardian too.

Grimm Eclipse was fun but...wow, Arrowfell was better as a video game in a lot of ways. Told a better story than GE too.

The only thing I can complain about in the books is not giving much to Sage of Team SSSN, though given "Before the Dawn" had to juggle so many characters I'm cutting it some slack.

Obviously the obligatory "Rooster Teeth isn't a good company"/"The Upper Management are terrible" and all that jazz, please support all the staff and former who have Patreons, Kofis, Twitch Streams, etc.

That's about all I can think of. Again, I'm still addled by the flu and medication I'm taking for it.

TLDR: I just think RWBY needs...well, more of it. More time and budget and space to fully flesh out everything. What we got is superb, especially for starting so small, but I always find more better than less.

[loremonster]

Hello! I've been browsing through the South Park fanfic corner and stumbled upon your New Kid Stories....well.....stories. Gotta say, I'm in love with it but noticed your last update was 2020.

I can understand if you've been busy, but I'd just like to ask what happened to the NKS episodes and it's latest, the Holiday Special? Are you still working on it? Have you dropped it? I'm very curious and have grown to love the fanfic and its writing so I hope that you're still working on it. If not, then it's a shame but it was a nice read either way.

Hello dear reader!

So! The current project with NKS is porting it over to Ao3 while doing some editing, rewording unclear narration, shortening info dumps to get to the point, and add illustrations when the mood so takes me.

The Holiday Special is intended to be my victory lap after the other eight 'Episodes' have been moved over. With so much time to think about it, I wanna rework the plot a bit.

There is also intention to write a second season of NKS. I have several stories outlined, pages of notes, and I'm really invested in Dee and their adventures, as well as the shinanigans Eric and the gang get up to.

THAT SAID I'm also trying to build more deliberate rest time into my daily habits, so the ETA on everything is I'll Get There When I Am Well Enough To Enjoy The Writing. That's happening more often, but I don't wanna go back to the burnt out place I was in where just reading over the last chapter I'd written was too big an ask for my exhausted brainmeats. So I'm taking it one day at a time, minimizing obligations and deadlines, and prioritizing my health... mainly because not doing that sent me to the ER twice between 2020 and 2022. Then I spent a year afraid to show my face anywhere, and unwilling to make anything for fear that people who were mad at me would come running to yell at me for not working on the last project I suddenly dropped out of... because of the mentioned ER visits and a full on meltdown.

I've been feeling a little braver lately. More and more I can't focus on whatever YouTube I'm watching because I have a scene playing out in my head ( that started up last month ) and I've been sketching occasionally as well. Slowly, I can feel the Drive building up again, yknow?

Dee ain't the only one who will sprint to the point of exhaustion XDDD I just do it creatively... but its no less of a destructive habit. Rest. Is. Required.

Thank you so much for messaging in and telling me how much you enjoyed reading the stories. I loved writing them. That love is why I wanna improve them during the move to Ao3, in hopes of making it more readable, and adding my artistic flare now that I'm on a platform where I can. :3

Also shout out to @obstinate-nocturna who has been super supportive since I've withdrawn. She is an amazing hooman who has an entire AU she writes where Lyssie has a twin sister which we call the ButtTwin universe. There is some fic to read and art to squee at over at @twonewkidsonesouthpark

Again, thank you for writing in, it was a great thing to come back to when I finally logged back into Tumblr 🥰

~Lore

[elendiliel]

Partners

Last one before I return to the canon events (with the addition of a sassy field-tech)... (By the way, the placeholder tag for this series is now "Misplaced Medic AU"; I will happily accept suggestions for better ones.)

Possible inspiration credits to the usual sources (@justawannabearchaeologist's "TFP Wheeljack in TFA" series here on Tumblr and @blueskyscribeupdates' With A Side Of Rust, both highly recommended).

---

“How’d you learn how to do all this?” Glitch was too wrapped up in “this” to answer Raf’s question straight away, so Wheeljack rephrased it for him. “Yeah, just how does a nice young femme like you learn to intercept Decepticon comms?”

“Intel-bot I know back home.” The dimensionally displaced Autobot’s voicebox was on autopilot while her optics scanned the encrypted data in front of her, looking for the patterns she knew would be there. “Think I’ve mentioned him. Blurr. Assigned to keep an optic on Optimus and his team – probably by Sentinel – but ended up tracking down Megatron’s HQ as well, just in time. Well, his power is speed. Fastest thing on wheels – much to Bee’s annoyance – and talks like Miko sped up. Once ran halfway across the galaxy, probably through the transwarp network, to try to warn Cybertron about a ‘Con double agent.” And would have succeeded had he not run slap bang into said double agent. “But this isn’t a new idea, even on this planet; it’s been done pretty much since you started using radio to communicate. Look up Bletchley Park some time. British Intelligence’s cypher-breaking station during your Second World War. Some fascinating work went on there – thought to have shortened the war by two years and saved millions of lives, and did a lot for human computer science. The codebreakers used everything from pure maths and brute force to imagining the short-cuts a lazy operator, or one in a hurry, might take. Everyone gets sloppy sooner or later – case in point…”

Her digits started to fly over her keyboard as she exploited a weakness she had just found in the encryption of some of the data. She might not be much good at reading faces, frame language, social cues and so on, but sometimes – not always – she could see patterns in other types of information that most others couldn’t, and use that to her advantage. Clear Cybertronian text gradually began to scroll across the screen; she let Ratchet, Raf and Wheeljack analyse it while she worked on decrypting the rest. The process of solving puzzles was more interesting to her than the final solution.

But the solution was still important, which was why she had gone to the trouble of raiding the wrecked Decepticon ship Harbinger for the equipment and intel she needed to intercept ‘Con transmissions. The cyphers had been updated since the ship crashed, of course, but nobot had bothered to change the frequency bands. That was good, as someone – quite possibly Soundwave, now a strong candidate for the title of Glitch’s Least Favourite Decepticon, challenging her universe’s Shockwave – had taken countermeasures against the Autobots’ tracking of Predacon fossils, and Team Prime, outnumbered and outgunned, needed all the help they could get.

“This doesn’t make sense,” Ratchet said as Glitch finally hit another, properly encrypted block of data. “These are engineering specs for something close to a space-bridge, but the destination coordinates here aren’t for Cybertron, or anywhere on Earth – I don’t know where they correspond to.”

“I do.” The fuel in Glitch’s tank and lines had turned to ice. “Sumdac Tower, Detroit, Michigan, the USA, Earth, in the year 2112 – in my reality. Those were my target coordinates the last time I left my Cybertron, when I ended up here instead.”

“That why these specs are so weird?” Wheeljack was letting his inner scientist show as he studied the deciphered intel. “Most of this is like a typical space-bridge, but these elements here…”

“They’re using transwarp technology, I think. I don’t understand it, but I’ve seen enough diagrams – and they got all this from me. That cortical psychic patch. Either the results were duplicated before I fried the lab hard drive, or Knock Out remembered enough.” Glitch hoped for the former possibility. The level of accuracy and detail required to reverse-engineer such complex technology would be best extracted via cortical psychic patch, and Knock Out had been through a great deal already.

“So, what – the ‘Cons are after your reality?” Raf summarised in question form. “Why?”

“I can think of two reasons. One, Energon. When the Allspark was reassembled, we found Energon deposits where fragments had been. That was part of the reason I was back on Cybertron – arranging for it to be extracted with minimal damage to Earth and no corruption on Cybertron if possible. I know Knock Out knows that from the patch. Two, technology. If one junior field-tech’s loadout can cause as much havoc as mine has here, I don’t want to think what the ‘Cons would do with the cutting-edge military gear from home. Or what they’d do to Earth to get at its Energon, or my Cybertron, just in general.” She took a deep, steadying vent. “We have to stop them.”

“We will.” A heavy servo descended on her shoulder, and she looked up into a pair of kind, wise, weary blue optics, much closer than usual. While she’d been distracted by data, the rest of Team Prime had gathered round, and Optimus Prime was now kneeling behind her. “The tragedy that befell our Cybertron, and the fate the Decepticons intended for this Earth, must not happen again.”

“Do you have any indication of when this space-bridge will be completed?” Ultra Magnus focused, as ever, on the practicalities of the situation.

Glitch scanned the intel, realising that it was a week old. She’d intercepted far more than she had time to study. “Stars, today! They must be reusing components from their existing bridge, or we’d have heard about another lot of thefts.”

“And I have a location.” Ratchet was already programming the groundbridge – or trying. “Blast, it’s shielded. I’ll get us as close as I can.”

“This could be your way home,” Arcee murmured to Glitch as Ratchet and Raf set up the bridge. The smaller two-wheeler hadn’t even thought of that, and knew she couldn’t get distracted by the idea.

“Let’s – play that part by audial. The important thing is keeping the ‘Cons out of that space-bridge. Which side of it I’m on when it closes is neither here nor there.” Arcee didn’t have time to argue with that before the groundbridge operators finished their task and Prime called for the Autobots to transform and roll out.

Like a previous Decepticon space-bridge, that one was being built next to an Energon mine, and therefore close to a fuel source. Unlike that other one, it was heavily guarded; Megatron clearly learned from at least some of his mistakes. Had it not been for an otherworldly blue-green glow coming from a distant chamber, the battalion of Vehicon soldiers between it and the raiding party would have indicated a trap. But Glitch knew that wasn’t the case the moment she set ped in the mine and a comm frequency band she hadn’t used in months sprang to life.

She barely noticed the Vehicons taking aim at them, or Prime’s attempt to find a peaceful resolution. All her attention was on a familiar, beloved voice that made her spark hum with joy. “…head’s trying to figure out what’s going on, and the Professor’s on his way up now – had to get out of some meeting or other. It’s probably not about to explode, but that’s about all we can tell so far… OK, will do. Bumblebee out.”

As Prime’s negotiations failed (which he must have known would almost certainly happen) and both sides opened fire, Glitch let her automated subroutines (less effective than her conscious mind, but competent enough) take over for the battle, focusing on talking to her partner for the first time in too long. “Bee?”

“Glitch?” Bee sounded as happy as she felt. “Where are you? Are you OK? What happened?”

“I’m fine.” Relatively speaking. Face-to-face, she’d have been more honest, but there just wasn’t time. “The space-bridge home from Cybertron malfunctioned and sent me to another universe.”

“That tracks,” a deeper, almost-as-familiar voice broke in. “This thing’s been buggy ever since the Professor and Powell sent that Tux guy through it. Good to hear you’re OK, little buddy.”

“Good to hear from you too, Bulkhead. Are you both at the Detroit space-bridge?” Close to the connection the ‘Cons were forging between the universes; that would explain why she could hear them but not Optimus.

“Yeah. It started acting up a little while ago. Triggered the alarms I put in after it took Fanzone off to Cybertron. I couldn’t tell what was wrong with it, but now I know where you are, the readings make sense. You’re coming back, right?”

“If I can, but the Decepticons are the ones opening the portal. We’re trying to stop them using it. “We” being another team of Autobots, by the way, including alternate versions of you two, Prime and Ratchet.”

“There’s another Bumblebee? Should I be jealous?” Glitch laughed even as she deflected a point-blank blaster round. She’d missed being teased like that. “Not in the slightest. You know where my spark lies. Now, can you tell how long it’ll take for that portal to be fully open?” She was studying her surroundings with a mathematician’s optic, estimating how much progress the Autobots had made already, how many Vehicons remained, how long it would take to reach and secure the bridge. She could see it now, a hybrid between the circular tunnels of that universe and the two-pronged structures she knew from home, enclosing an orb of blue-green light that grew brighter with every passing nanoklik. But could she and the others get to it in time?

Bulkhead answered her question, and the flame of hope in her chest was replaced by ice-cold steel.

“Shut it down.” The words were ground glass in her voicebox, and saying them felt like tearing out her own spark, but her duty was clear. “Shut it down and make sure no-one can come through from this universe.”

“Have you lost your motherboarding mind?” Bee spent too much time with their Ratchet. Come to that, so had Glitch. “I’m not going to give up a chance of seeing you again.”

“You’ll have to. I can’t get there in time. The Decepticons will use that portal, invade our home and start by killing you.” Now there was an image that wasn’t leaving her processor any time soon – Bee facing down a Vehicon squad, maybe stinging one or two, before being shot down without mercy, his colours already gone by the time his sparking body hit the tower roof. That won’t happen. It can’t.

“We’ve kicked plenty of Decepticon skidplate before. We’re a match for those guys, right?” Bee’s confidence, which on any other solar-cycle would make her smile, almost quenched her spark.

“Wrong. The ‘Cons here would eat ours for breakfast – no, more like a mid-morning snack. The Autobots are much better armed and far more experienced than us and they’re barely holding their own. You won’t stand a chance.” If Glitch could cry, she would have been in floods. “Please. I want to see you, more than I can say, but I need you to be safe. And don’t even think about coming over here. If there’s another way, I’ll find it, I promise, but – I can’t lose you. Not again.” Her optics rested on Wheeljack’s grenade, still on his hip, and her resolve hardened. Take it off him, activate it, use her magnets to throw it into the space-bridge infrastructure – yes, it could be done. She’d be killing who knew how many Vehicons, but for her home – for Bee – she would do it. Whether she could live with herself afterwards, of course, was another matter, but not yet relevant. “Shut it down, or I will.”

Bee was silent for an uncharacteristically long moment. “All right, you win. This time.” Bulk must have agreed; the portal started to fade away, much faster than it had brightened, as he terminated the connection.

“See you on the other side.” When would she next get the chance to play musical quotations with someone on her level? Soon, I trust.

“’Til we meet again.” The line went dead, and a wave of grief swept over the tiny Autobot, though she knew her loved ones were alive and well. She was dimly aware of the space-bridge operators frantically trying to reopen the portal, comming for instructions, but Bulk knew what he was doing. The gateway between universes remained firmly closed, and eventually somebot (probably Megatron; Glitch was vaguely surprised he hadn’t been there himself) ordered a retreat, leaving the Autobots alone with their “prize”.

“Well, I suppose we can’t leave this lying around for the ‘Cons to get their hands on again,” Arcee said, referring to the bridge. Then she looked at Glitch, remembering again what it meant to her. “Can we?”

Glitch barely needed to compute the answer. “No. It’s too risky, even by my standards.”

“Well, in that case…” Wheeljack drew his grenade and prepared to throw it – only for Prime to raise a questioning optic-brow at him, which prompted him to turn to Ultra Magnus, his direct superior. “Permission to destroy, sir?”

“Permission granted, soldier,” Ultra Magnus replied – after a brief, almost apologetic glance at the miniature medibot. As though she hadn’t been prepared to do what Wheeljack did and blow the thing to scrap, without clearing the area first.

Nobot spoke much as they returned to base, or as Ratchet fussed over various scrapes and dents and he and Glitch fixed everybot up, or as they consumed their evening rations (it was getting late and the humans had already had supper) and headed off to power down for the night. Glitch didn’t enter stasis, though, partly because she had a project to finish, but mostly because she just couldn't switch off.

“Mind if I come in?” Glitch, who had been leaning back in her chair – which could convert into a berth – trying to clear her processor, jolted upright as a familiar human face appeared around the curtain that marked off her private area.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep, Miko?” It was close to midnight and a “school” night.

“Shouldn’t you?” Fair point. And Glitch had done the same at Miko’s relative age, not so long before.

“I suppose so. All right, I won’t tell if you won’t.” Miko came in and climbed up to sit on Glitch’s desk. “Bulkhead told me what happened earlier. I’m sorry you’re stuck here.” Sorry as in sorrowful, Glitch thought, not as in apologetic. It wasn’t Miko’s fault by any stretch of the imagination.

“It was always very much on the cards. On the plus side, my other team know where I am now, I know at least two of them are OK and that it’s possible to get back, and the Decepticons didn’t get through.” Glitch’s digits traced the newly repainted band of yellow and black at her wrist. “Going home would’ve been nice, but it wasn’t to be. ‘Sides, I hate leaving a job unfinished.”

“That makes sense.” Miko looked at Glitch’s wrist for a little while. “Bulk also said you were talking to your partner most of the battle. The other Bumblebee, right?” Glitch nodded. “He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“That’s the nearest human term, I think. On my Cybertron, maybe the others’ as well, we’d say we’re courting.”

“Isn’t that an old word for when you want to get married?”

“Bonded, we call it, but yes. Though that’s still some way in the future for Bee and me, if we get there at all.” The way things were going, that wasn’t a certainty by any means.

“How long’ve you guys been together?” Someone who didn’t know Miko well would have been surprised by her patience and kindness. The fearless Wrecker could be remarkably gentle and perceptive at times. She’d seen that Glitch was hurting and refusing to burden anyone else with her problems, at least until morning, so she was forcing help upon her in the nicest way possible.

“Less than a year, but I’ve been in love with him since we were cadets. I only found out recently he felt the same way about me. We put our duty and each other’s careers first – until Optimus basically sent us on a date.” That made them both laugh, all too briefly.

“What’s he like?”

Glitch tilted her head, trying to find the right words. “One of the bravest, most loyal people I know. Clever and kind in his own way. Which is a good way, I hasten to add, just – not a usual way. He’ll never back down from a fight unless forced, especially if someone he cares about is in danger. Constantly beats me at video games, and watches my favourite shows with me. Finds it hard to be quiet, but he’ll listen to me ramble when most people wouldn’t.” She sighed. “I don’t have all the right words to describe him. He’s just – Bee.” Her beloved, and maybe, one day, her Conjunx Endura.

“Sounds like you two were made for each other.” Miko smiled. “I hope you get back to him one day.”

“So do I.” Glitch decided to change the subject. She could only take so much “talk about your feelings” in one session. “Oh, while you’re here…” She opened a drawer in her desk and brought out a flimsy, human-sized folder, the pages within still warm from the printer. “It’s a bit early, but – tanjoubi omedetou, Miko-chan.”

“Arigatou, Glitch-chan.” Miko’s eyes widened as she opened her birthday present. Glitch had composed a piece of music for her, the kind of metal the human girl loved, scored for electric guitar and drums. (She usually hated writing for the guitar – the extra notation system was so confusing – but for Miko she had made the effort.) It had no lyrics, words not being the field-tech’s strong point, but that wasn’t unusual in that genre. The guitar mostly led the melody, but the drums were always there in support, and at times the instruments traded places – just as Miko had had to protect or help Bulkhead, the way he so often protected and helped her. It had been written as a gift for Miko alone, but the human and Cybertronian Wreckers could not be separated, and it had felt wrong to try.

The piece was simply entitled, “Partners”.

[liittlebird]

I still think of you guys often, actually! And, y’know, wanted to stop by and say hi again, see what you were up to. I just didn’t do it beforehand because, well, scared :,) (i also lost access to the comett-anon account 😔) - ☄️ Anon

First things first, you never have to be scared to message me! I will always be happy to hear from you (and any other anons who may pop up). I think about you guys too and wonder what you've been up to since we last spoke, and I am happy to hear any updates :)

As for me, life has been pretty crazy the last year. The shortened version of it is that I moved away from my hometown to live with my grandfather, decided to go back to school for medical imaging (this was very recent - I'm not even to the medical imaging part yet), and I have been hopelessly obsessed with Baldur's Gate 3 for the better part of the last three months.

What about you? What have you been up to?