#and I think Taylor needs this to feel reassured and safe

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

I think fighting with him doesn't scare her. I think he makes her feel really safe

I think so 100% especially because I have the feeling that killatrav is extremely bad at fighting in general lmao

[aberooski]

Taylor has officially endorsed Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and denounced Tr*mp's AI posts using her image and promoted voter registration on her Instagram after the end of the debate tonight.

Miss Americana lives.

Thank GOD 😭

[avocadorablepirate]

Unspoken Affections

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Summary: Falling for the captain of the Heart Pirates a.k.a your captain, was something unexpected, something that shouldn’t have happened. So to suppress those growing feelings one must resort to avoidance. But alas, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, short mention of a near death experience, reader refuses to confront her feelings, not fully proofread (let me know if there’s anything else)

A/N: This and another fic have been sitting in my drafts for a while now, and I finally managed to finish this one, though it’s kinda all over the place. I was listening to my Taylor Swift playlist practically on repeat when I wrote this. So, if you want something to listen to while you read this I would recommend Slut, Daylight and Cruel Summer, but honestly any Taylor Swift song would probably work.

I swear I’ll rewrite that summary once I can think of something better :’)

You were not sure when it had started. Your heart racing at just the sight of him. Maybe it was in his little gestures. The little ways in which he helped you without expecting anything in return, like wordlessly helping you fix things around the ship when he knew you had trouble with it. The way he made sure you were comfortable, like simply giving you a reassuring smile when you needed it most. Whatever it was, you knew you had fallen hard.

It first occurred to you unfortunately after a near miss with death. You had joined the Heart Pirates on their journey through the Grand Line about six months ago, and while you had become akin to battles with rival pirate crews, this particular one had shaken you to your core. The opposing crew had been ruthless, and their relentless assault left you feeling more and more helpless as the fight progressed. The magnitude of the fight, combined with the unpredictability of the rival crew’s movements, had pushed you to the edge both figuratively and literally.

You had been cornered by the enemy, and in a desperate attempt to escape, you had slipped. As you plummeted into the giant chasm behind you, fear consumed you. The wind roared in your ears, and your stomach churned as you braced yourself for the inevitable impact that would surely mean your end. The seconds seemed to stretch, the world slowing down as you watched the surface above you get further and further away in slow motion.

Your only saving grace was your Captain's ability to shift objects, and he had done just that, transporting you back onto the Polar Tang where him and the rest of the crew had managed to escape onto.

The cold, metallic walls of the submarine pressed against your back as you fell to the floor in relief, but despite the safety, anxiety continued to build inside you. Your breath came in ragged, uncontrollable gasps. You could hear the muffled voices of your crewmates calling out to you, but they seemed distant. Your vision blurred, and the room spun around you. It wasn’t until a strong, steady hand reached out to you that the figure of your captain finally came into focus.

Trafalgar Law knelt beside you, his concern etched into his features. His touch was gentle yet firm, grounding you in that chaotic moment, and his voice, steady and reassuring, cut through the haze of panic.

"Hey, easy now," he murmured, his hand on your shoulder. "Everything will be okay. You’re safe now."

You managed a shaky nod, trying to regain your composure. His presence was enough to ease the tightness in your chest, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to the turmoil within you. As you steadied yourself against him, you couldn't help but notice how his eyes had softened with genuine worry, his concern evident even in the dim light of the submarine.

"Thank you," you finally managed to whisper, overwhelmed by the rush of emotions.

He offered you a reassuring smile, a silent understanding passing between you. In that moment, you realized just how much his actions and presence had come to mean to you. It wasn't just admiration or gratitude; it was something more, something that had taken root in the chaos of the Grand Line, and something you knew you had to keep hidden.

xxxx

Over the next few days, Law made it a habit to check in on you. You would know by the distinct knock on your bedroom door who was on the other side. Be it just before breakfast or well into the night when he knew you stayed awake too, he was there, outside your door, concern etched on his face as he did a once over of you. And every time he would - asking the simple question of how you were, your heart would flutter uncomfortably. You appreciated his care, and found yourself increasingly drawn to him. But it also stirred emotions you hadn’t anticipated. Emotions you knew you shouldn’t have been feeling for your captain.

“The Captain again?” came Ikkaku’s voice, as you yet again leant against your shared bedroom door after tonight’s encounter with Law. You nodded your head, letting out a sigh as you pushed yourself off the door and flopped down on your bed. “I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.”

“You know there’s nothing wrong with liking him, right?” Ikkaku said as she sat up in her bed. Another routine that had started over the past couple of days were your nightly chats with Ikkaku. It had started almost immediately after she saw you return from your first “check-up” with Law, completely flustered. And having put two and two together, had come to the conclusion that you had finally realised that you liked Law as more than just a captain or friend.

"I know, but I can’t," you almost cried in frustration as you clenched the bed sheet in your hands. The fear of what your feelings might mean for your position on the ship, and for your relationship with Law, was overwhelming and impossible to comprehend.

“And why not?” Ikkaku pressed gently, her curiosity piqued as she tried to understand your dilemma.

“Well for starters he’s my captain, that would be insubordination. Not to mention there’s no way in hell that he likes me as well.” You sat up, your face a mix of distress and resignation as you met her gaze, the hopelessness of your situation sinking in. The thought of confessing your feelings only to be rejected was terrifying.

“I need to get rid of these feelings quickly,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. The stress of the situation weighed heavily on your shoulders, your mind racing for a solution. You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but the thought of losing what little connection you had with Law was equally unbearable.

Ikkaku nodded, though she looked a bit hesitant. “I’m not completely for it, but if you’re determined to get rid of them, maybe you should try keeping your distance from him. It might help you sort out your feelings.” Her suggestion was cautious, but her eyes reflected her hope that it would help you find some peace. She didn’t fully agree with it, but she wanted to support you in whatever way she could.

“That might just work,” you said, relief washing over you. You were willing to try anything to escape this lovelorn feeling, even if it meant avoiding the person who made you feel safest. The prospect of distancing yourself from Law was painful, but you hoped it would give you just what you needed to sort things out.

xxxx

For the first couple of days avoiding Law was surprisingly manageable. You had an endless list of excuses, and navigating around the submarine to avoid him wasn’t that difficult. He spent most of his time in his quarters or in the infirmary anyway, and if you did happen to see him coming down the hall, you would quickly turn the other way before he noticed. When you did have to speak to him, you kept your interactions with him to a minimum, giving short, polite responses whenever he spoke to you.

But then it got difficult. You could see that he was slowly starting to see through your excuses. His sharp, observant nature made it hard to deceive him for long. The slight disappointment in his eyes after each excuse made your heart wrench. It was subtle, a flicker of emotion that he quickly masked, but you noticed it every time. The guilt gnawed at you, making it harder to avoid him without feeling like you were betraying his trust. Each day became a struggle to maintain the distance you thought you needed, the effort draining your energy and resolve.

So tonight, when you heard the familiar knock at your door, you couldn’t bring yourself to face him. You hated that you had to do this, but you were adamant, and had convinced yourself that it would only be for a little longer. Just until your feelings had completely gone.

Ikkaku answered the door in your stead, not failing to notice the slight dismay in Law’s gaze when it landed on her. His usual calm demeanor seemed to falter for a moment, a twitch of concern and confusion crossing his features.

“Hey Captain what do you need?” she asked, peeping her head through the little gap she had made between the door and its frame. She tried to sound as casual as possible, hoping it would put him at ease. However, she could see the wheels turning in his mind, already questioning why she had answered the door instead of you.

“Is Y/N-ya inside?” Law asked as he tried to catch a glimpse into the room but Ikkaku was quick to block his view. His voice held a hint of impatience, and his eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to look past her.

“She is but she’s not feeling well,” Ikkaku responded, hoping her excuse would be enough to satisfy his concern without raising too many questions.

Law frowned slightly. “What’s wrong? Does she need help?” His voice was tinged with worry, his eyes lingering on the door as if hoping you might come out and speak to him. His concern was genuine, his protective instincts kicking in. He hated feeling helpless, especially when it came to the well-being of his crew.

“Uhh,” Ikkaku stuttered, trying to think of what to say next. “Yeah, you know, just a visit from Aunt Flo.” She cringed inwardly, knowing it was a terrible excuse, but hoping it would suffice.

Law quirked an eyebrow, but ultimately brushed aside her words with a curt nod. “Alright. Tell her I hope she feels better soon.”

“Will do Captain!” Ikkaku replied with forced cheer, her voice tinged with a touch of nervousness, before she briskly closed the door, leaning against it, as she let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, I think that went well,” she said, turning to you. She tried to smile, but there was a hint of worry in her eyes.

“A visit from Aunt Flo!?” you exclaimed, half exasperated, half amused. You couldn’t believe the excuse she had come up with, but you were grateful nonetheless. The absurdity of the situation almost made you laugh, a brief respite from the constant anxiety.

“It was the best I could come up with!” Ikkaku defended herself, throwing her hands up in mock surrender.

“It’s fine. At least he didn’t press any further,” you responded with a hint of a chuckle, feeling relieved.

Satisfied with the outcome of today’s excuse, you sank onto your bed, feeling the tension ease from your shoulders. The small victory felt like a reprieve. That victory, however, didn’t last very long.

The next day when Bepo met you in the kitchen for breakfast, you found yourself back to square one.

“Hey Y/N, Captain wanted me to give this to you,” Bepo said, handing you a small pouch.

“Thanks,” you replied, opening the bag to look at its contents. Inside was a strip of tablets and a little note that had been written, scratched out, and rewritten again. It read: "I hope you’re feeling better. These should help with your cramps."

You could feel your heart pounding, as if desperate to just pop out of your chest. The thoughtfulness of the gesture, the care in his words, made your resolve waver. You knew you couldn't keep this up forever, but the fear of confronting your feelings was still too overwhelming.

xxxx

Law wasn’t dense. He could easily read every single one of his crew, and he knew you were avoiding him. But why? He didn’t have an answer to that.

He found his usual connection with his crew slipping, particularly when it came to you. At first, he didn't think much of your evasive behaviour, attributing it to stress or fatigue or a visit from Aunt Flo, as Ikkaku had so wonderfully put it. But as days turned into weeks, he couldn't ignore the growing sense of unease gnawing at him.

Each excuse, chipped at his confidence and fueled his anxiety. He noticed the subtle shifts in your demeanor - how you avoided eye contact, how your conversations with him grew increasingly terse and formal. It bothered him more than he cared to admit. With no indirect way to uncover your reasons, his logical mind spiraled into illogical conclusions, each worse than the last.

Days passed, and his worry only intensified, causing his temper to flare more easily. Tensions were high on the Polar Tang; even the smallest mistake would rattle the captain, and the crew had to bear the brunt of it.

It was only on Shachi’s request that they finally got a chance to step away from the tension, and let some steam off. And that’s how Law found himself at a bar in the town they had docked at, watching you closely. Despite being surrounded by the lively chatter of his crew and the raucous energy of the bar, all he could do was focus on you. His sharp eyes caught the fleeting glances you threw his way, the way your laughter seemed forced, and how you tensed whenever his eyes met yours. His frustration grew, but so did his concern. And when he saw you leave, visibly upset, he knew he couldn’t sit back any longer and watch his relationship with you dissolve into nothing, knowing he could have done something about it.

The decision to follow you was immediate and driven by a mix of worry, frustration, and something deeper - something he wasn't ready to fully acknowledge - yet.

xxxx

A couple of weeks had passed since you started avoiding Law, and the strain of your self-imposed distance was beginning to show. You didn’t know how much longer you could hold out, and for whatever reason today had been particularly difficult. So, when Shachi had suggested that the crew unwind at a lively bar in a bustling port town, you were all for it. Terrible mistake on your part really.

While you had thought that a night out drinking was just what you needed to distract you from your inner turmoil, it was certainly not what the doctor wanted to prescribe. In fact, it seemed that he wanted you to only continue with this wretched feeling, when he entered the bar. But why wouldn’t the captain be with his crew? You realised you hadn’t thought this through only when you felt your heart tighten painfully in your chest.

As the night progressed, you did your best to keep your distance, sticking mainly to Ikkaku and whoever wasn’t around Law. However, he still posed as a problem, your eyes kept drifting towards him, unable to help yourself. God…of all the shirts he owned, why did he have to wear that black button down that clung to him so well?

At one point, you noticed a group of girls approach Law’s table. They were giggling and clearly intrigued by the mysterious captain. You noticed the surge of irritation on his face when one of them leaned in close, her hand resting on his arm as she spoke to him, and you couldn’t help but be amused by your captain’s obvious annoyance. However, as he continued to barely engage in conversation with them, his responses brief and his gaze often wandering away from them, you couldn’t stop your stomach from twisting with jealousy, an emotion you hadn't expected to feel so intensely.

Despite his apparent disinterest, the sight of them fawning over him was too much for you to handle. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, the jealousy and frustration slowly brewing inside you making it harder to think clearly. Needing to escape, you excused yourself from your crewmates and slipped out of the bar, the cool night air hitting your flushed face as you made your way back to the Polar Tang.

On the quiet deck of the submarine you found solace. Free from the loud noises of the bar, and the chaos within it, you took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling within you. You were starting to realise that avoiding Law clearly wasn’t the solution, but confronting your feelings still felt like a hopeless challenge. Your mind raced to find another way.

“Mind if I join you?” A voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you knew that voice; it made your breath hitch. Turning around you saw Law coming towards you, his expression serious but speckled with concern. You cursed at yourself for not hearing his footsteps approaching.

“Captain, what are you doing here?” Your heart skipped a beat, your anxiety slowly bubbling below the surface.

“I saw you leave in a hurry, so I thought I would check up on you. Is everything okay?” Law asked, leaning against the railing beside you.

You shook your head slightly, suddenly unable to trust your voice as a lump formed in your throat. Silence settled between you, stretching on until Law finally broke it with a gentle inquiry.

“Y/N-ya,” he called out your name hesitantly, voice tinged with apprehension, “why have you been avoiding me?”

You stiffened at his words, and opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. The words you wanted to say were trapped, tangled up with your emotions, and his piercing gaze that held you in place, wasn’t of much help either. You could see the worry in his eyes intensify with each passing second of your silence, his brows knitting together as he waited for an answer that seemed too difficult to give.

“Do you want to leave the crew?” he asked, his tone steady but laced with a hint of vulnerability. The idea of you leaving clearly troubled him more than he let on, and your heart sank at the implication. “No, it’s not that,” you finally managed to say, voice trembling.

“Then what is it? Are you scared because of what happened to you when we were fighting those pirates?” There was a hint of desperation in Law’s tone, his need to understand and help you evident. His eyes searched yours, pleading for an explanation, and you could see how much he wanted to make things right even if he didn’t fully grasp what was wrong.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart and gather the courage to say something, anything. “No…I-I just need some time to sort things out.”

Law watched you intently, as if trying to decipher the emotions flickering across your face. “You know you can tell me anything right?” he said in a soft voice, his eyes never leaving yours, and you let out a bitter laugh at that.

“This is something I don’t think I can,” you said, the weight of the impending confession settling over you.

Law’s brow furrowed, the concern in his eyes deepening. “Why not? What’s so bad that you can’t talk to me about it?” He sounded frustrated, almost begging you to tell him.

You took a deep breath, your unspoken feelings pressing down on you. "It's just...complicated," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to burden you with it."

"It's not a burden if it's about you," he replied softly, his eyes searching yours as he stepped closer to you. “Please, Y/N-ya, tell me what’s wrong.”

His words broke through the last of your resistance, and you realized you couldn't keep this inside any longer. You owed it to yourself and to him to be honest. Taking another deep breath, you finally found the courage to speak.

"Law, I've been avoiding you because…because I-I like you, and I don’t know how to handle it, and I thought staying away would make it easier, but it hasn't. But I promise I’ll figure out a better way to deal with these feelings if you just give me some time."

For a moment, there was silence, and you held your breath as you waited for his response. Then, to your surprise, Law reached out his hand, gently lifting your chin until your eyes met his. "It's okay," he murmured, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. His expression was soft and understanding, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I've been worried about you," he said, his voice tender. "I've been thinking about you constantly, wondering if you were okay. And to tell you the truth, it’s made me realise that I like you too."

Your heart skipped a beat at his admission, hope blooming within you. "You…you do?" you managed, unable to believe it.

He nodded slowly, a soft chuckle leaving his lips when he noticed your surprise. "I didn't want to push you," he explained softly. "I thought if I did, you would only have more reason to leave, and I couldn't stand the thought of that happening.”

Relief flooded through you, mingled with a newfound surge of courage. "I wasn't going to leave," you admitted, your voice steadier now. "I was just afraid…of what I was feeling."

Law's smile widened, his eyes warm and sincere. "You don't have to be afraid," he assured you, his hand moving to hold yours, while his other remained caressing your cheek. "Because I feel it too."

In that moment, the tension that you had felt in your chest eased, replaced by a sense of overwhelming happiness. Feeling a sense of peace settle over you, you leaned into his touch.

"I'm glad," you whispered, unable to stop the smile that spread across your face. The warmth in his eyes made your heart flutter, and you couldn't help but let your affection for the man standing before you surge.

Law mirrored your smile, his gaze tender as he leaned closer. "Me too," he murmured, before closing the distance between you in a soft, lingering kiss.

Had to add an unnecessary little bit about Law’s shirt cause damn it I love Law in that shirt.

Thus starts my slow attempt to get my other fics out of my drafts. Let’s hope this determination lasts longer cause knowing me I’m going to give up by tomorrow…anyway, I hope you liked this!

[morgy-doo]

school bus graveyard realtionship headcannons

^ such cuties

Ashlyn Banner~

insanely protective

when you are in the phantom dimension this girl is mostly focused on making sure you don't get hurt/die

keeps you away from Aiden in that dimension so you don't end up getting roped into something stupid

Altho she isn't the most affectionate person, she will grab your hand and squeeze it tightly when she is nervous

she begrudgingly...after ALOT of begging, allowed you to play with her hair, when it is undone it is super wavy from being in those plaits all day

if you every get seriously hurt/die in the demon dimension, she will act calm and collected at first, but then totally lose it

she wont cry until she is alone of course

refuses to leave you alone until she knows you are better

after that she doesn't let you leave her sight

she just wants to keep you safe and close to her

Aiden Clark~

your more of a mother/father than a girlfriend/boyfriend-

CONSTANTLY bouncing off the walls

literally-

at one point in your relationship he would tell you he had a cute date planned....you had no idea that it was skydiving

he loved it

you not so much

in the phantom dimension he is using you to back him up in arguments

and he definatley tries to show off for you at one point

when they get locked in the mental assylum, he paints his face as you instead of the clown because why not

he found it endearing, you found it absolutely terrifiying

if you die then he will go silent, not as energetic or bouncy until he knows you are okay again, he constantly brings you things to entertain you with while in the hospital

he just wants you to never get bored of him

Ben Clark~

the most sweetest boyfriend ever

he will buy you flowers out of nowhere just to see you smile

sometimes he feels bad that he cannot say how much he loves you verbally

constantly has hand cramps from writing huge paragraphs about his love for you

the type of boyfriend to just pick you up and hug you when you are mad

you help him calm down when his temper starts to flare up

he really enjoys doing soothing activities with you such as pottery, painting, and baking

he is AMAZING at baking

he loves making you food

in the phantom dimension he likes to have you on his back

to reassure him that you are still there and safe, and also as a way to have quick access to you when you are in danger

if you die in the phantom dimension he will have this deeply disturbed look on his face

he honestly looked after you better than the doctor did

he brought you home cooked meals, your clothes, some things to cheer you up

he wants you to feel loved and to know that he will always be there for you even though you cannot hear him say it

Taylor Hernandez~

such a sweetie

she is so good at reading your feelings and can tell when you are upset/ when something is bothering you

she has pictures of you two together all over her wall so she always has something of you with her

she loves matching outfits with you

she 100% owns a shirt that says "i love my boyfriend/girlfriend" and has no shame in wearing it

she has this ritual where she kisses each picture of you before bed each night and saying "i love you y/n" over an over until she has kissed each picture

Tyler was just stood in the doorway of the room terrified-

in the phantom dimension you both make a vow to protect each other

and she will protect you with her LIFE is she has too

if you die in the phantom dimension she would never forgive herself

she would think its her fault as she didn't stick to her side of the vow

she let you get hurt

will sob infront of everyone

honestly needs more comfort then you do

when you are on the road to recovery tells you all these silly stories about her and Tyler to see you smile

she wants you to never leave her

Tyler Hernandez~

this one is a mixed bag

lets just say you will be very aware when he has entered the room

you slowly help him start to enjoy baseball again

he invites you to practice to show you off to his team

you are now lumped into his protection pile

congratulations, you are now one of his top priorities

he wont say it very often, but he adores you

and he misses you very much when you aren't around

he plays guitar for you when he is feeling especially loving, he teaches you the songs his dad taught him

when you are in the phantom dimension he gets very angry very easily

he is just so overwhelmed and worried about keeping you AND Taylor safe.

he is terrified he would of failed in his job of protecting you

if you die in the other dimension he would be angry at everyone but mostly at himself

he would close off, he wouldn't speak to anyone and he ends up flunking some of his classes to see you at the hospital

he is very aggressive to everyone else but when you are getting better at the hospital he is all gentle smiles and sweet tones

he owes it to you for letting you down

he wants to be able to feel that he can provide and protect you

Logan Fields~

he thinks he doesn't deserve you

why would you pick someone small and pathetic when you can have the full package like Tyler

despite his self doubts he treats you as best as he can

he is the most cliche person ever

has definately watched the sun set with you

study dates are a must

you both defo have this little potted flower that you have "raised" together

he tells you ALL about flowers as he has alot of knowledge about them

when you are in the phantom dimension he always has this dreaded feeling sitting in his stomach

as if he knows something is gonna happen to you and he wont be able to stop it

the feeling would eat him up inside

if you die in the phantom dimension, he would be determined to be the reason you got better, that it wouldn't happen again

he wants you to view him as worthy of your love, and he would do almost anything to earn that

[the-winter-spider]

Invisible | Part Two

Pairings: Bucky x reader AU

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning: unrequited love, self doubt

A/N: I dont do taglists they stress me out sorry 🫶🏻

Part One

The next morning, you’re yawning over a mug of coffee when Natasha walks into the cafe, a knowing glint in her eye as she slides into the seat across from you.

“Long night?” she asks, eyeing the bags under your eyes.

You shrug, not really wanting to get into it. “Just the usual. Bucky brought up Kate, though.”

“Ah.” Nat nods, her gaze softening. “And how do we feel about this Kate?”

You stare at your coffee, stirring it unnecessarily. “She’s… perfect. Of course. Just what he’d want.”

Nat sighs, leaning in. “Look, I get that you’ve been telling yourself he’ll come around, but maybe it’s time to look out for you instead.”

“I know,” you say quickly, but Nat raises an eyebrow, not letting you off the hook so easily.

“Do you?” she presses. “Because staying with him, being his friend while you wait for him to suddenly wake up one day and realize how he feels about you… that’s not fair to you babe.”

You blink down at your coffee, her words digging deeper than you want to admit. “But I can’t just walk away from him.”

“Maybe you don’t have to walk away completely,” she says gently, “but sometimes, you’ve got to put yourself first. Even if that means some distance.”

The thought of moving out feels like tearing away a piece of yourself. This apartment, these late nights with Bucky, the little rituals and inside jokes… they’re home. But the idea of watching him bring Kate deeper into your world, of hearing about every date, every moment, knowing you’re just a friend—that thought feels like something you might not survive.

You nod, though you’re not sure if it’s to Nat or to yourself. “I’ll think about it,” you say, more to fill the silence than anything else.

Nat gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Just remember, you’re not invisible, not to everyone.”

Natasha’s fingers drum lightly on the table, her gaze fixed on you with that discerning look she wears when she knows you’re holding back. “You know,” she starts, her voice almost playful, “I could set you up with this guy I know from work. He’s got that ‘I could kill you with my pinky but won’t’ vibe. Smart, good-looking. You’d like him.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Nat, no offense, but I don’t need a pity date right now.”

“Who said anything about pity?” She smirks. “I just think you need a distraction. You deserve someone who’s actually looking at you.”

Her words hang in the air, and though you try to brush it off, the weight of them settles on you. “Maybe,” you admit, chewing on your lip. “It’s just… Bucky’s been in my life for so long. It’s hard to picture letting anyone else in.”

Natasha’s expression softens, understanding in her eyes. “That’s the thing with comfort zones—they feel like safe havens, but they can also be prisons. And I don’t think you want to be locked in a place where you’re always second to someone else.”

Your heart aches at the truth of her words, but you manage a half-hearted smile. “When did you get so wise?”

She rolls her eyes, pretending to brush imaginary dust off her shoulder. “I’ve always been wise, you’re just finally listening.” She pauses, then tilts her head, as if she’s remembering something. “So, tell me—why haven’t I met this Kate before? Didn’t we all go to the same college?”

You shrug, looking down at your coffee as if it holds the answer. “She and Bucky had one class together, last year. That was it. We never really hung out with her… or anyone he dated, really.”

Nat nods slowly, piecing things together. “So, she was part of your little world, just on the outside. And now…” She lets the sentence trail off, understanding that this is different, even for Bucky.

“Yeah,” you murmur, feeling that ache return. “Now, it feels like she’s pushing her way into something that used to be… ours. My life with him.”

Natasha leans back, her gaze sharp but empathetic. “Maybe she is. But that doesn’t change who you are to him. And it doesn’t mean you have to let yourself be pushed aside. Just… remember, you’ve got people who see you, really see you.” She gives you a small smile. “Like me, and Steve, Sam and Wanda.”

You swallow, a knot of gratitude and sadness in your chest. “Thanks, Nat.”

“Of course.” She reaches for her cup, taking a sip before giving you another mischievous smile. “But I’m still setting up that date. You need someone who’s going to look at you like you’re the only person in the room.”

You laugh, but something about her words sticks with you.

Back at the apartment, Bucky’s in the kitchen, humming to himself as he attempts to cook. You lean against the doorway, watching him juggle the spatula and frying pan, the sight as familiar as it is painful. He catches you staring and flashes a grin, waving the spatula with a playful twirl.

“Caught you,” he teases, his blue eyes dancing. “What’s up, creep?”

You place a hand on your chest in mock offence, letting out a dramatic gasp. “Creep? Ouch, Buck.”

He laughs, his head tilting as he gives you that roguish smile. “Sorry, sweetheart.” He clears his throat and corrects himself, “What’s up, doll?”

There it is again. That name that no one else calls you—just him. And every time he says it, it feels like he’s pulling you close, holding you in his orbit. You try to ignore the way your heart flutters, pushing it down. “Better,” you respond, with a forced lightness, trying to keep things playful. “Just wondering how much of a disaster you’re about to make.”

He scoffs, pretending to be offended. “I’ll have you know I’m a culinary genius.”

“Sure, and pigs fly.” You smirk, stepping into the kitchen to stand beside him, nudging his shoulder as he focuses on flipping whatever’s in the pan.

He rolls his eyes, but there’s that look again—the one that feels like he’s studying every detail of your face, like he’s seeing you as more than just his best friend, even if it’s only for a second. “Seriously, though,” he says softly, his gaze meeting yours, “thanks for putting up with me, couldn’t ask for a better best friend.”

You swallow, feeling that flicker of hope you know you shouldn’t hold onto, quashed in an instant. Best friend. You manage a small smile, not trusting your voice to sound casual. “Couldn’t ask for a better one, either.”

But even as you say it, you can’t ignore the ache in your chest. The line between you has been so blurred over the years, with the easy touches, the names he only calls you, the looks that feel like something more—until they’re not. Because he never seems to notice the way he lingers too close, or how his teasing feels like something deeper. Maybe, you think, it’s time to face that your friendship is just that: a friendship.

Lost in thought, you don’t realize Bucky’s speaking again until he nudges your shoulder, his voice low and warm. “Earth to y/n?,” he murmurs, breaking your reverie. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Just… thinking,” you reply, smiling faintly as you avert your gaze. He leans down, peering up at you, an amused expression on his face, like he’s trying to coax you out of your thoughts.

“About me, obviously,” he quips, flashing a wink. “Go on, I get it—hard not to think about this face.”

You laugh despite yourself, the sound spilling out before you can stop it. “Don’t flatter yourself Buck.”

He grins, reaching over and tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, a gesture so casual but so personal that it sends your heart racing. His hand lingers, his thumb brushing against your cheek for just a beat too long before he pulls away. “Can’t help it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you liked me, doll.”

Your heart skips, and you force a laugh, hoping it sounds natural. “Get over yourself, Barnes. You’re lucky I even let you call me that.”

He chuckles, leaning back against the counter, arms crossed, still looking at you like you’re the most interesting thing in the room. It’s moments like these, the soft laughter, the playful teasing, that make you feel like maybe, just maybe, there could be something more—until reality crashes down with the way he looks away, casual as ever, turning back to his cooking.

“So, what do you say?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “We take off next weekend, you and me? Get out of the city, do something stupid?”

He says it so easily, the idea of just dropping everything and being with you. It’s the kind of offer that would mean the world if it came from anyone else, but with Bucky, you know it’s just him being Bucky—your best friend who doesn’t know the half of what’s inside your heart. You nod, forcing another smile, feeling like you’re breaking in two. “Yeah… sounds good.”

He grins, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes, a softness that makes your pulse quicken. “That’s my girl.”

The words are simple, tossed out casually as he stirs the pan, but they hit you like a punch to the gut. His girl. The irony isn’t lost on you—that’s all you’ll ever be. Watching him turn back to the stove, humming again, you wonder if it’s finally time to start protecting your heart, even if it means letting go of this impossible hope.

You stay quiet, watching him as he finishes cooking, every movement so familiar that it aches. The way he hums off-key, that little wrinkle in his brow when he’s focused. And yet, with each passing second, you feel the weight of Natasha’s words from the morning before. Putting yourself first. Even if that means some distance.

Lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice when Bucky turns around until he nudges your arm, holding out a plate with a lopsided grin. “For you, my culinary masterpiece.”

You smile and take the plate, though you barely feel the hunger anymore. “Thanks, Buck.”

He tilts his head, squinting at you, studying you the way he always does when he senses something’s off. “What’s up with you, doll? You’ve been quiet.”

You quickly shake your head, putting on a brighter smile. “Nothing, just… tired.”

It’s a half-truth, and from the way he’s looking at you, you know he can tell. But he just nods, brushing it off as he leans against the counter beside you. “Well, you should get some rest, maybe skip that shift tomorrow. I don’t like seeing you so run down…plus its the 2nd Friday of the month you know what that means”

The concern in his voice stirs something painful in you, and you bite your lip to keep it together. Because it’s just like him to care, to look after you like this, but never in the way you want. You manage a nod and quiet “I know, bar night” not trusting yourself to say much else.

But Bucky, oblivious to the turmoil in your heart, reaches out, ruffling your hair with that effortless smile. “I mean it, you work too hard. You’re allowed to take it easy sometimes, you know?”

Your smile wavers, and you look down at your plate, poking at the food to avoid his eyes. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

There’s a comfortable silence as the two of you eat, and for a moment, you let yourself forget the ache, just enjoying this small, simple moment. But then he starts talking about his weekend plans, and you feel the familiar twist of jealousy when he casually mentions Kate. How she texted him about some new art exhibit, how they’ll probably grab lunch afterward. Each word feels like a pin prick, a reminder that he’s drifting further away, letting someone else into a space that you’ve guarded for so long.

You take a steadying breath and look up at him, forcing yourself to speak casually. “So… you and Kate, huh? Sounds like things are getting serious..”

Bucky laughs, but there’s a faint blush on his cheeks. “Nah, I don’t know. She’s cool, but… you know me. Not exactly the settling-down type.”

The words sting, but you force yourself to smile. “Right, of course. Why settle when you’ve got the world at your feet?”

He chuckles, taking another bite, oblivious to the storm brewing inside you. But then he glances over, catching the faint trace of something in your expression, and for a split second, his smile falters. “Hey… seriously, are you okay? You’re not your usual self.”

You force a laugh, waving him off. “I’m fine, Buck. Just… I dunno. Life, I guess.”

He watches you, a furrow between his brows as if he’s trying to piece together something he’s missing. And for a split second, you almost consider telling him. Telling him everything—that you’re tired of waiting, tired of pretending, tired of being his second choice. But before you can even open your mouth, he sighs and reaches over, squeezing your shoulder.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he says softly. “Whatever it is… I’m here.”

The tenderness in his voice is almost too much, and you have to look away before he can see the tears threatening to spill. “Yeah, I know….of course”

There’s another silence, and he finally pulls his hand away, turning his attention back to his food. You sit there beside him, the air thick with unsaid words, wondering how much longer you can keep this up.

When you finish eating, you start gathering the dishes, feeling the need to escape the kitchen, escape the weight of his presence. But Bucky stops you, taking the plate from your hands.

“I’ve got it,” he says, nudging you toward the living room. “Go relax, i’ll clean up.”

You give him a small smile, grateful for the reprieve, and you make your way to the couch, curling up with a blanket. But as you sit there, staring at the flickering light of the TV, you realize with a sinking heart that this—him, the late nights, the quiet moments—has become everything to you. And that maybe, no matter how much you want it, he’ll never feel the same.

From the kitchen, you hear Bucky humming again, blissfully unaware of the turmoil inside you. And as you pull the blanket tighter, Natasha’s words echo in your mind: Sometimes, you’ve got to put yourself first. Even if that means some distance.

[bejeweledraven]

call it what you want

All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressin' up as kings They fade to nothin' when I look at him

relationship headcanons with the gotham villains

parrings: oswald cobblepot x gn!reader, ed nygma x gn!reader, victor zsasz x gn!reader, jerome valeska x gn!reader, jeremiah valeska x gn!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

warnings: mentions of criminal activity, mentions of toxic and unhealthy behaviors in romantic relationships/mentions of unhealthy relationships

requested?: yes

request: anon: can i request general relationship hc with oswald cobblepot, ed nygma, victor zsasz, jerome valeska and jeremiah valeska with a gn reader

song prompt: call it what you want by taylor swift

word count: 1392

oswald cobblepot:

first and foremost his love language is 100% gift giving

it would be both subtle and dramatic

subtle, because he would never ask directly; he'd listen

was there something you were talking about currently? or maybe something you've wanted forever? he would pick up on the slightest mention of it

but like i said, it would also be dramatic

an artist you've been listening to lately? he'll make sure you have every possible record on vinyl and cd, concert tickets, merch

a car that you've dreamed of for years? in your driveway, with every possible upgrade

growing up he didn't have much, so he wanted to make sure someone that he cares about never feels like that

although he's not really the one for physical intimacy, there are some small gestures he really loves

great example are forehead kisses - long evenings after tiring days, right by the fire places

he might not be huge with PDA, but everyone knows that you're involved with each other, making you untouchable

and when i say everyone, i mean everyone; his enemies, his allies, his staff

his worst fear is someone hurting you to hurt him; makes him extremely protective, making sure you're safe 24/7

your relationship is the definition of "private, but not secret"

ed nygma:

although the pre and post riddler ed might have fair share of differences when it comes to dating, there's definitely a lot of similarities

for example, for ed you're always the number one priority, not matter what

the pre-riddler ed would cancel any plans for you (not that he had loads of those anyways lol)

it would take one phone call from you for him to drop everything and meet you somewhere

if ed liked you, he would have the hardest time telling you; even if you were involved with someone else, he would be your shoulder to cry on, no matter how much it broke his heart

once you got together he would need regular reassuring of how much he means to you

would be a combination of his own insecurities and how highly he thinks of you

both before and after you start dating, you smiling in his direction would be enough to make his day

post-riddler is much more confident, cares significantly less of what people think of him

but even given all of his confidence, his old insecurities still get the best of him

he would get very jealous at times

whenever he would suspect you could have feelings for someone else (which is a conclusion he makes way too rapidly) he would feel like the awkward and practically invisible technician working at the police station all over again

takes a ton of reassuring to for him to seem confident again- because deep down he will always feel like that to an extent

being his partner means being his best friend- it's such a special connection

he relies on your support so so much

although it took him a while to learn to come to you with his issues, you're definitely the best support system he's ever had, and he makes sure you know how much that means to him

victor zsasz:

one word: TEASING

so so so much teasing

oddly enough, this might be the healthiest relationship on the list

he has an understanding of personal space and time

i mean don't get it wrong: he WILL show up unannounced in your living room in the middle of the night on a random tuesday, just chilling on the couch because "he missed you"

but if there is ever a situation where you tell him that you need space and time alone, he just respects it

he has a very laid back attitude towards you, but if the situation requires he will act very quick to protect you; whether you disapprove of his methods or not

even though like i said he gives you space and time if needed, he has his subtle ways of knowing whether you're staying safe and out of trouble

i can for sure see him with a fellow assassin, even, or maybe especially, working for a rival gang

business is business, and he doesn't see a reason why it should interfere with his personal life after work

and the constant competition is kind of fun and exciting to him, which is ironic, given the line of work

one time you were ordered by your bosses to take each other out, and for shits and giggles you even pretended to attempt it, but gave up easily just cause you couldn't take one another and this whole situation seriously

overall it's a very playful relationship of equal time teasing and strong sense of protection, on both sides

jerome valeska:

the best word to describe the relationship with this man is 'rollercoaster'

with the highest of highs and lowest of lows

good moments make you feel on top of the worlds and bad moments make your stomach drop

no two days are the same with this guy

no surprise that he is very obsessive

the second he saw you and was utterly and completely fixated on you and you only

it was obsession at first sight for sure (bonus points if you met at arkham)

and you can't really blame yourself, he was very charming

just something completely captivating about him

although his attention is all over the place, he would make sure to always have a good look at you, even with the corner of his eye

he just needs you around 24/7

the respect for personal space and time? yeah don't really count on that

at a certain point there's some sort of addiction formed, where you can't really function without him either

say what you want about jerome, but his energy is absolutely infectious and sometimes you just need someone who will make you feel like you're on top of the world

another thing about him is that his obsessive sense of protection mostly extends to guarding you from the GCPD, but not really to a basic sense of safety

he will take you with him to all of his most dangerous heists, because he doesn't want you 'missing out on all the fun'

he regularly finds places to break into in the middle of the night, like theme parks and big malls, and just goes CRAZY

he is there to make any absurd wish of yours come true

if during the time where everyone just assumed he was dead you moved on with your life and god forbid found happiness with someone else- he is changing that the second he's back

jeremiah valeska:

the jeremiah before the transformation was paranoid about absolutely everything

including your safety, mostly because of jerome

his childhood made him put up this shield around him and it wasn't easy to let you into his life - but once he did he shielded you even more than he ever did for himself

if it was up to him, you'd never leave his super-secure home/facility, because he's that worried

and many times he's begged you do to so

out of sheer sense of protectiveness over you

but staying in a windowless bunker is not really easy for many people

and he knows that he can't really argue you on that, so all he has left is worrying until you're back

you always were back, and he had to fight the urge to beg you not to ever leave again

the post-transformation jeremiah is also insanely protective- with the added effect of more confidence is slight obsessiveness

his obsessiveness would be much more subtle than one that his brother displayed - jeremiah would just always know where you are and who you're with

he would go to actual insane measures to protect you; he'd burn entire cities if it meant keeping you safe

both before and after the transformation he's not really the best at communicating his feelings, but his way of making up for it is acts of service - subtle before transformation and less subtle after the transformation

oddly enough, he also became a lot more openly romantic than before, with grand, dramatic gestures

not that he wasn't romantic before; just in a lot more shy and delicate way

one thing never changed - how much keeping you safe meant to him

[morbidlcve]

loml.

pairings: natasha x reader

cw: mentions of death, mental health, red room.. i think that's it?

word count: 3.9k!

(based off the song loml by taylor swift)

summary: Yours and Natasha’s life all the way up to endgame

The first time you two met, you knew that she was the one for you. Her rare smile had the power to light up the room. You were another Hill, coming to drop Maria’s keys off for her after borrowing her car to move some furniture into your new apartment on 6th Street. You had been arguing with the guard outside the building, who wasn’t entirely convinced you were related to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. 

“Hey, Maria needs her keys; she needs to go run some errands for Fury”, you heard a voice call to you, opening the door. Her red hair was the first thing you noticed about her, and it quickly became your favourite thing about her: the styles in which she wears it, the softness of the strands and the freedom it shows she has. “Thank you”, you mutter to her, entering the building and leaving a gagged guard at the doorway.

Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?

If we know the steps anyway.  

“I’m Natasha,” she tells you, pressing the elevator button to take you up to your sister. “ Y/N,” you say, smiling softly. You were taken instantly; you wanted to know more; you needed to know more. The universe seemed to be on your side that day because Natasha soon asked you for coffee, to which you stuttered an embarrassing confirmation, which made her smile fondly. 

A month later, after little dates and nights together at your apartment, you were invited to the tower to watch a film with Natasha and have dinner with her family. Things went well; you instantly connected with the thunder god. He was silly and made you laugh, but he also seemed more than just the fun guy everyone seemed to know. Everyone was taken by you and asked you questions about your work, where you were from and what your childhood was like; you answered them all. 

Natasha watched you interact with the people she called family, and she swore to love you forever from then on. 

We embroidered the memories of the time I was away, stitching, “We were just kids, babe.”

I said, “I don’t mind, it takes time.”

A few years had passed, and they were the best years of your life; sure, there were ups and downs, but that was the beauty of it; you could recognise the good bits all the more. Natasha gave you a run for your money, scaring you to death every time she would come home with a new injury, but you would tend to her, and she would let all the details slip, the things that keep her awake at night, the failures, the successes, everything. It took time to bring 

Natasha out of her shell to talk to you about these topics, and when she did, she didn’t even feel fear in telling you; knowing you like she did, you would just accept her for who she is and tell her that was who she was and she didn’t know anything else. You kissed away her insecurities when they crept up on her in the middle of the night, without fail, you held her when she returned home from a rough mission, handling her with so much care that felt so foreign to her. 

I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed,

I felt aglow, like this, 

never before and never since.

Natasha was the sweetest soul you had ever encountered. She always weighed her words in her head before saying them aloud, always knew if something was the matter, and didn’t push you to talk about it. 

She would wait, do whatever you needed or wanted, and wait for you to make your problem hers, too. She would hold you so close as you did, kissing your tears away, reassuring you with every fibre of her being. She was so gentle, and it made you wonder what kind of a person does it make her to become more than she was ever meant to be. How much strength she truly has. 

If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary. 

You and I go from one kiss to getting married.

It took three years of loving Natasha to finally promise yourself to her forever. There were tears and so much love that day you could recall it like the back of your hand. You couldn't remember your life without Natasha; she had very quickly become the centre of your universe. 

Each day you woke up beside her, you found yourself thanking the universe for allowing you to live to see another day, another day you get to share your love, issues, and tears with her. 

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery

Never quite buried.  

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time. 

You lowdown boy, you stand-up guy.

Then Natasha’s world came crashing down; the Avengers were fighting, she had to run away, you being left at home, countless sleepless nights, frightened for her life and what she was doing, if she was hurt, or worse? 

You often heard from her, whether that was a brief message or a Facetime call when she settled down in her trailer rewatching her favourite films. Those moments, you felt at some ease, but being unable to physically touch her hurt more than you could ever have thought it could. She was telling you that Yelena was alive, and she had got out, and you started crying, which made her cry; you heard all about her and the time she spent with her in Ohio, and you were glad she finally broke away from that god-forsaken place.

Initially, Natasha blamed herself for leaving her there when she broke away for the first time; then, she could quite bring herself to find her after killing Dreykov and his daughter to portray her loyalty to S.H.E.I.L.D.

You holy ghost, you told me i’m the love of your life,

About a million times.

A few weeks later, she found out he was alive. You have never heard her sound so heartbroken, her heavy gasps for breath, the sure constant fall of tears she let herself shed for all the girls that had to continue through the cycle. You were rendered speechless, listening to her tell you about everything that was going on, silent tears streaming down your face at her situation. She didn’t want your sympathy; you knew that- she was telling you so you knew what you would be greeted with when she got home. 

You listened, taking it all in, trying your best to be the weight she could lean on, but you were crumbling, too. You couldn’t even fathom what she felt at that moment. She told you she loved you and that she would be home soon. 

Five weeks later, Natasha came home. She worked it out with her family, like you knew she would, and even managed to help most of the Avengers regroup. You met Yelena for the first time, and you immediately liked her. She was so similar yet so different from her sister. You offered to take her shopping one day to get to know each other more. 

Having Natasha back home made sure you were never going to let her go away for that long again. Sure, she went on missions, but both Fury and Natasha would keep you posted, and it was never just one person, there were two or three at once. The time she was gone, she was alone, and that meant that all those thoughts that usually plagued her would’ve got the upper head and she’s too selfless to ring you in the middle of the night telling you about it, not wanting to worry her further, knowing how much you were suffering, not sleeping, waves of nausea from homesickness.

Who's gonna tell me the truth

When you blew in with the winds of fate

And told me I reformed you

When your impressionist paintings of Heaven

Turned out to be fakes

Well, you took me to hell, too 

A few months passed, and Natasha, you, and Yelena became like your own little family. Fury had asked Yelena to train some recruits, which earned her decent pay. She got her own apartment and decorated it with what she wanted, which she dragged you and Natasha out for. 

You and Natasha would stay up late at night talking about everything, often messaging her parents asking how they were doing. They wanted to come and visit you, given how much Natasha talks about you to them, and see how Yelena was getting on with her life. 

The nightmares became a frequent occurrence again for Natasha, and you were there just like you were at the start, pulling her into you or going for a drive, sitting on the balcony, or doing anything she wanted. You were there to see to it. 

Things went relatively back to normal, and you were finally happy again. 

And all at once, the ink bleeds

A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme

That was until the Avengers came calling for another mission. Your blood ran cold. How much more could she take? You wondered, looking over to your wife to find her already looking at you. You knew she needed this; after the previous events of her life, she needed to go and help. She knew you wouldn’t stop her per se, but she could see it pains you to let her go… again. 

But I felt a hole like this

Never before, and ever since

They said they were leaving in 2 hours for Edinburgh, giving you guys some time (but not enough) to say goodbye. You were silent as Natasha packed her bag, put her gear together, put on Yelena’s vest, and chose her weapons and batons hidden in the wall of your bedroom. Natasha didn’t like this any more than you did, leaving you again. She knows how you got when she went away, only this time she didn’t know how long she would be gone. “y’/n” Natasha sighed, wrapping you in her arms. “I’ll come home, I always do.” She laid a soft kiss on your head. “I love you”, you sigh, hugging her back. “I love you most”, she returns. She always did this, it was your thing. From the first time, those words left your lips, she reiterated the reply right back. It was pointless arguing. 

If you know it in one glimpse

It's legendary

What we thought was for all time

Was momentary

The house became empty once again. No Natasha, no random kisses on your head, no unexpected cups of coffee being disposed of in your hands, no incessant typing from her computer of her writing up reports or doing her work from home. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, so you took a shower to bask in the scent of her shampoo and body wash, dressed in her clothes and sat on the couch with a glass of wine and a book. 

You didn’t know what to think. Was she safe? Is she hurt? Your mind was reeling. You must’ve fallen asleep on the couch because when you woke, it was daylight, and you heard Natasha’s sniffles as she walked through the door. You shot up from the couch and the second her eyes met yours her face flooded with relief and she fell to the ground. You didnt know wha had happened so you met her at the floor whilst she wept into your arms. 

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery

Never quite buried

You were heaving by the time Natasha explained everything to you, both of you rushing through your phones to call your family, but there was no answer from any of Natasha’s family. Maria didn’t answer either, nor did your parents. Everyone you loved other than the woman right in front of you was gone. You don’t know how long you and Nat were there on the floor crying; your whole body felt numb, and none of you or the Avengers knew if they were alive or not. 

You cinephile in black and white

All those plot twists and dynamite

Months had passed, and no one had found any type of solution to half of the universe’s population being missing. Natasha was clearly spiralling, and so were you. You and Natasha threw yourselves into working to find a solution, and every time you came up blank or with an error, Nat made a committee with the rest of the survivor Avengers to see if they could come up with something. Each time, there was more and more disappointment. 

Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry

Natasha resorted to dancing, dancing of all things. You always heard classical music while showering or cooking. It made you sad to the bone to know you couldn’t help her. You could be there for her, but you couldn’t help her. You could feel Natasha slipping away. No matter what you tried, she just didn’t feel the same anymore. 

You said I'm the love of your life

“Nat?” you whisper to her in the darkness of her Compound bedroom. You feel her moving, turning to face you. “Yes, my love?” she says, coming to hold your hand. “You’re not here anymore,” you smile sadly, looking down at your hands entwined.

“In times like this, we need… we need to stay together. I don’t want us to lose each other through the loss of everyone else,” you try to say composedly but start to cry at the end. Natasha sighs, pulling you into her. “I know, my love. I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better by you. I’ve been distant, I know, but you’re not any less important to me.” She mutters, kissing your head.

Natasha just held you as you cried into her shoulder, shaking in her embrace, her tears silently falling against your hair. “Please don’t push me away. I need you”, you sob into her, holding her close. Her heart clenches at the vulnerability in your voice. “I’m not going anywhere. I have loved you for ten whole years. I’ve never stopped loving you, and I don’t intend to stop now. Besides, Maria would kick my ass if I ever let anything happen to you,” she says softly, making you laugh airily. 

You talked me under the table

Talking rings and talking cradles

I wish I could un-recall

How we almost had it all

Natasha stuck by her word. She pulled herself back into your orbit. Your words helped her realise that there was nothing that could be done to bring back the others, but she did have you and that she needed to cherish. Reality speaking, she wouldn’t like to even think what state she would be in if you hadn’t made it. The mere thought sends her blood running cold, and she would come and find you to wrap her arms around you, reminding herself that you are, in fact, with her and that you didn’t disappear. 

You and Natasha, alone, except for the occasional drop-in at the compound from one of her avenger friends, set up a nice routine at the place. You two would work out in the morning, then eat dinner together and then spend some alone time together to reconvene for dinner and bedtime in the evening. Not much happened in the compound for the years you were together. Tony was with Pepper and Morgan, Steve was out doing AA meetings, and Clint was AWOL after losing Laura and the kids. 

Dancing phantoms on the terrace

Are they second-hand embarrassed

That I can't get out of bed?

Cause something counterfeit's dead

You Steve and Nat were sat at the table trying to console a breaking Natasha over Clints activities, when a chime rings through the computer systems, you scuttle over to check it to see a guy waving frantically at the camera. “This an old message?” steve says, leaning forward. “It’s the front gate,” says Natasha, looking shocked.  

You sat watching Nat and the two men talk about pym particles and time travel. All of it goes in one ear and out the other for you, yet you can’t help but notice the way Natasha’s posture straightens, and a glimmer of hope seems to shine in her eyes. 

It was legendary

You, Nat, Steve and Scott get out of the car at Tony’s secluded cabin. He said no, you head back. You all tried talking to Bruce, and that was a maybe. You’ve never seen Natasha this hopeful since she went on that mission to help Tony and Steve see where each other was coming from with the accords.

It was momentary

You wake up in the middle of the night to Tony yelling over the phone about how he’s done it and how he will be at the compound the following day.  

It was unnecessary

Everyone was getting geared up. You were softly braiding Natasha’s hair. “Hey, you be careful out there, okay?” you smiled at her in the mirror as she watched you weave her hair into a delicate braid. “Don’t worry, I got this”, she smiles at you, wrapping the hair tie around the end of her hair. Turning around, she smiles at you, pulling you in for a kiss. “I love you, Natalia” You smile against her lips, brushing your nose against hers. “I love you the most, y/n”, she returned, kissing you again. “Come home safe,” you say into her chest, from where she pulled you into a hug. “When do I not?” She says, and you laugh. 

You watch her and the rest of the Avengers stand up onto the time plate and she catches your eye, winking at you before she smiles and says, “See you in a minute.” 

Should've let it stay buried

…

Oh, what a valiant roar

What a bland goodbye

Seconds feel like hours as you wait for them to return. You twiddled your fingers, waiting, waiting and waiting. You’ve spent longer than a minute without nat (clearly), but this one feels like so much more, something feels not right. A rip startles you from your thoughts, and you see Clint on his knees, his eyes wet. No… no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 

Everybody else returns. You don’t notice them, though, as Clint looks directly at you, saying so much more than words. “Cint, where’s Nat?” 

The coward claimed he was a lion

I'm combing through the braids of lies

Everybody turns to look at you. You’re frozen in place, and your chest feels too tight and heavy. Clint walks down to you. “ Y/N,” he says, opening his arms out for you. You collapse. Your whole world gone in a matter of a minute. You don’t know if you’re screaming or crying. Both? Clint cries with you. 

​​"I'll never leave" ...

“She sacrificed herself for you, your sister, her sister laura, everyone”, He cries into you. You’re heaving, your body feeling like it’s being torn in two. The weight of it all unbearable. Everyone quickly left the room to give you and Clint some space, grief settling heavy on them, too. 

"Never mind"

A week had passed since the war, the battle, losing Tony and Nat, and having to tell Yelena and her parents was the hardest thing you ever had to do. Yelena walked out, Alexei punched the walls, and Melina hugged your tear-streamed face, silently shaking. The one good thing the world had ever given to you, and it snatched her right back off of you. 

Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire

“I was thinking if this all goes well, we should get a cat," she says to you, putting on her time suit. 

“A cat?” you ask her, smiling up at her. She’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. “Yeah, you’d be a great cat mom”, she beams at you.

Your arson's match your somber eyes

Maria’s name buzzes on your phone, and you’re quick to turn it off. As much as you love her, you don’t want a pity party, you just want to be left alone. You just now realise that you were home after hours of walking around, your heart crumbling with every tribute poster and art you see decorating walls and windows. You fumble with your keys to get it open. You’re met with two pairs of shoes at the door, yours and Natasha’s, her hair ties on the table next to the door, and one of her artillery belts. Her jacket hung up on the coat rack. She’s everywhere, yet she’s nowhere at all. A small black cat slides up against your leg and you lift her up nuzzling your nose into her head, making her pur and snuggle into you, seemingly sensing your emotional state. 

And I'll still see it until I die

Entering the bedroom seems like an impossible task, knowing you’ll see more of her belongings. You sit on the couch and stare. Then you see a piece of paper on the coffee table you recognise. Picking it up, a dry sob leaves your throat. 

“I love you more, my love, and I always will,” it reads in her perfect handwriting. You can’t stop crying- your lungs feel so full yet so empty, and your head prickles with all the nerves trying to make sense of what is happening. 

You storm into your bedroom into the shower and rid yourself of this heavy, dirty feeling. You scrub and scrub and scrub until your skin is red and raw, and only then do you get out. You dry yourself off, wandering into the closet and pulling on her hoodie, then her sweats, and then you collapse into bed, breathing in her all too familiar scent. The smell wraps around you like her arms would when you were going through a rough patch. Now, the patch is rougher than ever, and she's no longer here.

You turn your phone back on and press call, “Hi there, Natasha here! I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now, I’ll be sure to get back to you,” you call her again and again until you fall asleep listening to the sound of her voice, and the warm fur ball curled up on your chest.

You're the loss of my life.

first time writing angst, PLEASE give me feedback. i beg

[vevobly]

Yellowjackets Reactions To Clingy Reader!

Jackie Taylor:

Jackie would be flattered at first, just absolutely enjoying the attention you're giving her and basking in the idea that someone values her that much. She'd just casually lean into it, and be all playful with you.

“Wow, you really missed me even though I was only gone for five minutes?”

But if your clinginess ever became too much, she'd lowkey try creating space from you; using excuses like needing to focus on something else. She wouldn't want to hurt your feelings and would try hard to soften any pushback with reassurance.

“You're sweet, really. Just, like, give me a little room to breathe, okay?”

Shauna Shipman:

Shauna would be a little awkward about it, unsure how to handle someone being so attached to her. But she'd tolerate it to an extent, especially if it seemed like genuine affection to her; making jokes about it eventually and easing tension.

“You really don't have to follow me everywhere, you know”

She'd say that with a small laugh. Despite her discomfort, she wouldn't be that harsh. And if you just happened to be one of the lucky people, she might secretly find it endearing that someone values her that much.

Taissa Turner:

Taissa would definetely take it in stride, appreciating you being loyal and close to her that way. She's naturally protective, so she might view your clinginess in a way as you trusting and feeling safe around her.

However, if it started interfering with her personal space or responsibilities, Tai would address it immediately and directly but kindly with you. She'd be firm, and understanding!

“Hey, I love hanging out with you, but I need to focus on this right now, okay? We can catch up later.”

Van Palmer:

Van would be amused by your clinginess, she wouldn't take it too serious and would probably even tease you with a grin about it every once in a while. She wouldn't mind the extra attention as long as it isn't constant.

“Wow, didn't know I was that amazing”

She'd probably find it cute that someone cares that much. But if it ever became too much? she'd probably nudge you gently toward independence like a mother would with her own clingy child.

“You know, I'm not going anywhere. You can chill for a bit.”

Natalie Scatorrcio:

Natalie definitely might have been caught off guard by your clinginess at first because she's not used to people being so openly attached to her that way, but she would just brush it off.

Over time, she would eventually warm up to it, seeing it as your way of showing affection to her. Of course, if it ever crossed a line, Nat would be straightforward about it with you. It'll be short and cool.

“Hey, I need some space right now, okay? Nothing personal.”

Lottie Matthews:

Lottie would handle your clinginess with an odd calmness and grace. Similarly to Tai, she'd see this as a sign of you trusting and valuing her. This would mean a lot to her despite what you think, and she'd hold it on a very high careful pedestal.

Lottie might even encourage your clinginess to some degree, just offering reassurance whenever you seem worried or needy. But if it starts to overwhelm her, expect her to guide you on being more self-reliant and practicing boundaries!

“It's okay, I'm here.”

Laura Lee:

Laura Lee would see your clinginess as a sign of you seeing her as someone comforting, which she'd take as a compliment. She'd be patient and kind with you, being very understanding and even encouraging a bit.

If it started becoming too much, she's addressing it like a therapist would with their patient. She'll suggest much "healthier" ways to spend time together without you being overly attached to her.

“I'm glad you feel comfortable with me, but..”

Misty Quigley:

Misty would absolutely just love your clinginess. Considering she thrives on attention and validation, having you attached to her makes her feel pretty special and valued.

“Oh, you don't have to apologize for wanting to be around me all the time!”

Out of all the girls, she would be the one to encourage it fully more. But her enthusiasm might turn possessive if she even slightly felt like you weren't as clingy to her anymore. So, expect the girl to work harder to keep your attention on her!

[woodchoc-magnum]

how do you have so much faith in buddie after that episode? i just feel like the show just told us buddie won't happen but buck will be with a guy(maybe not tommy) but some other random ass guy.

Because:

"You can have my back any day." "Or you could have mine."

Buck taking Eddie to collect Christopher after the earthquake

Buck recognising that Eddie needs support, and finding Carla for him

"You two have an adorable son."

Buck and Christopher in the tsunami

Buck telling Eddie that he lost Christopher

Eddie literally coming to the loft and reassuring him that he trusts Buck more than anyone in the world

The lawsuit breakup and reconciliation

"Wanna go for the title?"

Ana says Christopher shouldn't skateboard, so Buck finds a way to build him a skateboard.

Eddie gets trapped at the bottom of a collapsed well, and Buck CLAWS AT THE DIRT SCREAMING FOR HIM (aka the television moment that changed my life forever)

Abby comes back, and Eddie is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of it.

Buck going out of his way to buy Eddie the coffee machine he secretly wants

Buck Begins, where Eddie spends the entirety reassuring Buck.

Eddie starts dating Ana, so Buck starts dating again (because one can't date without the other panic dating as well)

Eddie gets shot in the street and Buck is literally splattered with his blood

Buck crawling under the firetruck to save Eddie's life

Buck having to tell Christopher that Eddie was hurt

Buck RACING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN EDDIE WAKES UP - oh Ana is there? No she doesn't matter, Buck is the one that matters

Eddie telling Buck that he isn't expendable and confessing that he changed his Will so Buck would be Christopher's guardian

Ana being mistaken as Christopher's mother and Eddie subsequently having a panic attack about it

Buck recognising that Eddie wasn't in love with Ana and essentially guiding him into breaking up with her

Leading to the most queer-coded breakup in the history of television. "The idea of us??" Eddie

The hostage situation; the gun going off and Buck thinking that Eddie is hurt

Depression era Eddie, and Buck literally breaking down the door to rescue him

Buck then being there for him every step of the way. Girlfriend? what girlfriend

Culminating in them working together again when dispatch burns down, and Eddie returning to the 118

Buck FINALLY ending our misery and breaking up with Taylor

The family scenes at the start of season 6

Buck getting struck by lighting and Eddie climbing the ladder to try to pull him back UP because he was so panicked

Eddie trying to get to him; Eddie giving him CPR

Eddie telling them to DO MORE

Eddie sneaking Christopher into his hospital room and crying at his bedside

Buck knowing in his coma dream that Eddie and Christopher were missing

Eddie being Buck's safe place; the only place he can fall asleep

Eddie taking him on a poker date and apparently not railing him afterwards??

the look on Eddie's face when Buck tells him that Natalia "sees him"

And Eddie immediately trying to date because Buck's taken

The fact that we start season 7 with Buck already single and Eddie having essentially filled a permanent babysitter role in his life with Marisol

Eddie and Tommy becoming friends, being the cause of Buck's jealousy - this is not about Tommy, by the way, because Buck hasn't quite figured the Eddie of it out YET

All leading to the BIG BI KISS

And wherever the fuck the next episode is taking us

So yeah, one kiss doesn't invalidate five six seasons of build-up, and that's why I'm not worried.

[mvltisstuff]

hii!! i hope your summer has been/was wonderful!!

if it’s possible could you do an evan buckley request to “begin again” by taylor swift?

where reader was in a really rough relationship and now with buck he’s treating her like an actual goddess and she’s constantly questioning to herself how she deserves it and mentioning how weird it is that he actually cares about/loves her.

thank you so so much in advance!! 🫶

begin again - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @meep-meep-richie

a/n: guys i’m SO sorry i have been so slow again w the fics, i’ve just been trying to enjoy summer as much as i can, but i certainly have some coming your way ;)) thank you for the request love, and i hope the rest of your august is lovely <3 i did a bit of a different style with this, hope you enjoy

“can you keep your location on this time?” her boyfriend asks, seeing her getting ready in the mirror.

“i’m just going to work, thomas,” y/n chuckles, thinking it was harmless, but she was his eyes roll almost to the back of his head.

“i’m just asking you one thing, y/n,” he groans.

“i just think you could trust me, i have a long shift today,” she brushes her hair back into an elastic, getting her belongings before grabbing her phone. she always tells herself that she’ll stand up for herself, but she falls into his traps anyway. she presses the small button hesitantly, showing him her location.

“hi, buck!” she greeted, as he walks in the door. he jogs right up to her, kissing the side of her cheek as she giggles into his touch. “i’m going out with some friends tonight, but i’ll be back before you know it so we can spend time together!”

“don’t rush, baby,” he laughs. “take your time with your friends, have a fun night.” he goes to love his stuff onto his counter, but she follows up behind him.

“oh, here, i’ll send you the link to find my friends,” she looks down at her phone, so she doesn’t see the confusion written all over his face.

“the link to what?”

“i’m just gonna send you my location, so you don’t have to ask.”

“honey, i don’t need your location,” he smiles lightly, giving her reassurance and it’s her turn to be confused.

“a-are you sure?” her nose crinkles along with her brows.

“of course, i trust you, always,” he tells her, letting the weight on her shoulders drop. she was hoping he wasn’t mad, but he would never, ever get mad at her for something as silly as that.

“oh!” she says, shocked but still appreciating him. “okay, thank you, i’ll be back in a bit.”

“don’t thank me, just be safe,” he pecks her lips again, watching her skip happily out the door.

y/n looked back in the long mirror again, slipping on a pair of heels to compliment the adorable dress she was wearing. they went along perfectly, and now she finally had an occasion to wear them. she was thrilled to show thomas her outfit, feeling pretty in her own skin and twirling the dress out in the mirror. she turned around, expecting a bright smirk on his face, but she was met with a flat expression.

“what’s wrong?” she asked, concern written in her words.

“nothing,” he grumbles, moving over to adjust his sleeves and grab something from the nightstand.

“no, somethings wrong. i can tell in your voice.”

“y/n, leave it,” he sighs, looking over at y/n who’s still waiting for a response. “are you sure you want to wear that?”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, its a bit too much, don’t you think?” y/n looked back at the dress, not seeing anything wrong with it. maybe it was the design, her body, but clearly something was wrong with it. maybe she just couldn’t see the way he does. “we’re not going to the club, are we?”

“no, but i wanted to look nice.”

“maybe you should keep looking,” he tried to disguise his heartbreaking words with a light grin, but y/n saw right through it. he loves her, he just wants what’s best for her and she knows he knows best. so, she hung the dress back up and put the heels back in their box. she ran into the bathroom to change again, practicing happy smiles and tried to fight back the stinging tears in her eyes. he doesn’t want her to ruin her makeup.

buck and y/n’s schedules had aligned again, letting her finally be able to meet his real work family. she was so happy she could finally enter this part of his life, and only wanted to support all of his team at the 118.

y/n had been in the bathroom for a while, a little too long for buck to not have any concern. she was examining her outfit, the same dress she wore when thomas told her to take it off. she still felt beautiful in it, but not as much as she did. she never realized how easily someone could take away her confidence. she figured she’d at least leave a pair of new heels out, thinking buck would appreciate the simple sandal.

“y/n?” he knocks, lightly. “you doing alright, honey?”

“yeah!” she answers, suddenly getting that nervous feeling in her stomach. she hesitated on opening the door, but she clicked the lock and pulled it open. she felt more vulnerable than ever standing in front of him. she knew his reaction and that he’d want it off, but she was only met with complete admiration.

“woah,” he exhales, looking at her gorgeous dress and wonderful figure underneath.

“i can change if you don’t want me to wear this, i have a few more options in the bathro-“

“are you kidding? you have to wear this, you look so beautiful in this, y/n!”

“i do?” she asks, looking into his genuine eyes.

“of course you do, what makes you say that?”

“it’s just that, you know, it’s nothing,” she tried to walk back over to the shoe rack, looking for her sandals but his hand stops her.

“hey, talk to me,” buck requests, softly but also wanting her to be able to open up.

“my ex didn’t like this dress, he didn’t think i was good enough for a piece of fabric,” she laughs sarcastically, but buck can tell it hurts her still.

“well, he’s a dumbass, a dumbass who lost you,” he replies. “i’ve never seen someone more gorgeous than you, i don’t care what anyone says. i’ll spend every day proving it to you.”

“how do you do that?”

“do what?”

“just make everything so much better without trying?”

“oh, you know,” buck jokes, putting his arm around her shoulder. “im a natural, that’s all.” she slaps his shoulder, laughing at him before going off to see his family.

y/n stood in the corner of the room in an outfit she never wanted to wear today. she watched everyone converse in a friendly way, only few people stopping by to say hello. even if they did, it lasted a few minutes. she quickly became a decoration to thomas, just being there for silent support before he ditched her for more rich businesspeople. she sipped lightly at her small glass of champagne, wishing she had the whole bottle with her.

he didn’t see any potential in her, not even caring to introduce her until someone asked who she was. she never had felt more out of place, but it became a regular thing. he’d venture off to talk to other people, leaving y/n in the dark. she felt like she was just swept under the rug, something to deal with later.

“bobby, come over here!” buck shouted across the room, waving his hand for bobby to come over. when he did, he had a welcoming smile on his face and shook y/n’s hand. “this is my girlfriend, y/n.”

“it’s nice to finally meet you, y/n,” he says. “we’ve heard a lot about you, like a lot.”

“thank you for having me today,” she replies gracefully, looking at buck who’s glancing back at her with pride in his face.

“it’s our pleasure, really, you’re a delight, y/n.” athena walks in, wrapping her arm around bobby’s waist and offering y/n a drink. buck guides her over to chim and hen who sat together on one of the benches in the grants backyard.

“y/n, this is henrietta, or hen, and then chimney,” buck smiles, his hand still connected with hers and letting her say hello to everyone.

“my real names howard, by the way, not sure if that one bothered to mention that,” chimney pokes fun at buck, who pretends to be offended for a moment but just lets it be.

“i’m glad we can put this lovely face to the name,” hen beams, looking at y/n and feeling the positivity radiating from her. “maybe you can rub off on that one.”

“my names not ‘that one’ by the way, and i’m right here!” buck fake complains, but knowing they all have a good heart. “i’m about to leave and take her with me.”

everyone groans in complaint, making y/n laugh and buck leading her to sit next to everyone. she makes her rounds saying hello to athena’s kids and eddie, everyone finding her to be so graceful. the acceptance from everyone was fully unexpected on y/n’s part, barely being able to comprehend how buck could be so in love with her. she had stepped out for a moment after assisting athena and bobby in the kitchen, buck following right after her.

y/n never got this treatment from thomas, always feeling like she had to beg for it but it was so easy for buck. it made her years of insecurity and questioning vanish, only to be replaced with the security from her loving man.

“you alright?” he asks, meeting her by the steps of the home.

“yeah, i’m perfect!” she tells him. “i just didn’t expect this.”

“they all love you, what’s not to love?” he replies softly, looking her up and down. “you’re smart, you’re the sweetest person i’ve ever met, you’re wonderful in every way, y/n.”

“i remember when thomas took me to work events, and i was just in the corner with a drink. no one really noticed i was there, so it just came as a surprise to see you so affectionate.”

“i’ll always show you off, you’re the best woman i’ve ever met. i want the whole world to know that i managed to get you, and also,” he kisses her lips, bringing her thoughts back down to earth to ease her worries. “i love you, a lot.”

in that moment, y/n knew buck was everything that her ex could never be.

[rvblos]

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ gucci dinner (blurb)

warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex (be safe pls), slight degradation, sub!reader, soft!dom (kinda) jannik, public sex(?), i went crazy sorry. this is the nastiest shit ive ever written.

notes: im ovulating so bad im so sorry i just need him FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER

the dinner was fantastic and the venue was wonderful, each table had a bouquet of flowers in the center and candles were scattered everywhere, creating a relaxing and intimate atmosphere. your attention had been drawn by the background music coming from the speakers, forcing you to briefly disconnect from the conversation.

“i tried to save that game, i really did. but your boyfriend’s serve is just unbelievable, right?” taylor fritz’s voice came muffled to your ears, bringing yourself back to reality. “i’m so sorry, could you repeat that?” you tried to apologize for your rudeness and jannik, sitting next to you, laughed to himself. to warn him you gave him a small pat on the shoulder gaining another light laugh from him.

“i was just talking about how good your boyfriend is at tennis.” he laughed too, taking a sip of his wine nonchalantly. you chuckled at his words, relieving the tension. “what do you think?” he asked you, morgan’s eyes following you as you drunk from your own glass. “yeah, what do you think?” you boyfriend asked you repeating taylor’s words with a shit eating smirk on his face, his hands suddenly gripping the flesh of you upper thigh under your linen skirt.

you gulped, feeling him going upwards within every second and finally reaching the hem if your panties. “yeah, i think he’s very talented.” laughing, you tried to keep your cool, even if it was nearly impossible since his digits were now circling your skin, making you shiver under his touch and getting even closer to your core.

“would you excuse me for a second?” you tried to sound calm and relaxed, but it seemed so challenging just because his fingers were so close to your folds and you couldn’t believe that he was really doing it in front of taylor and morgan. “is everything alright?” the girl in front of you asked with a concerned expression on her face. you nodded “yeah, just need to go to the bathroom.” you smiled to reassure her and disappeared into the sea of people that were roaming around.

entering the small restroom you ran to the mirror only to find your cheeks redder than ever before. he really did make you blush. you rested your arms on the small sink in front of you, leaning your head against the glass and trying to regain control of your body, inhaling deeply and not wanting to let him win over you. but before you could even notice it, the door opened.

shit. that was it.

you didn’t turn, you could see his reflection in the mirror, his body leaning against the door and that same smirk on his face. “what are you doing here?” you scoffed, now facing him. he was looking at you hungrily, like he’d never seen you before, like it was his first time. “what’s up with this attitude?” he joked, closing the door behind him and reaching you slowly.

“what were you trying to do earlier?” that was a rethorical question, you both knew very well what he was doing and even better what he wanted to do. and you could see it in his eyes that he was having fun, he was enjoying it. “what do you think, huh?” he asked you back, his lips now almost touching yours, trapping you between the wall and his own body.

“we can’t.” you placed a hand right on his face as to stop him. “what did you told them anyway?” “that i needed to park the car or something, i don’t remember.” he sounded so calm and relaxed, you hated him when he acted like that.

“c’mon, ten minutes.” smiling boldly he begged you, taking a strand of your hair in his hand, twirling it over his fingers. he was towering over your body, looking down at you while his red hair fell beautifully on his face. one of his hands found place on your hip, caressing your flesh under your skirt’s material and sending shivers down your spine.

“five.” you finally gave in, rolling your eyes back at his insistence and demanding that single word like it was a sentence. you thought he didn’t want to lose any time with you, his hands were quick as they started to undress you, leaving your top fall onto the ground, followed by your skirt as well. his lips took place on your neck, kissing and biting your skin gently, leaving some red marks that would’ve been very evident once you were going to be back to the table.

where was the bold guy, unable to wait to touch his girlfriend now? it was like he was scared to touch you even knowing damn well that since you had such little time that he should’ve made the best of it. but there he was, taking his time with you, kissing your boiling skin as you two had an eternity of time. “jan…” you tried to say, panting for air when you felt him gently nibble at your earlobe. “they’re gonna get suspicious.” your panties suddenly slipped down, now resting between your knees. the sudden contact with the cold air made you shiver and your walls clenched around nothing, looking for some sort of relief.

you could feel the wetness between your legs starting to drip down but it was finally relieved when you felt him abruptly making his way into you. a scream of surprise almost escaped your lips, if he haven’t been so quick to cover your mouth with his hand. “shhhh.” he mumbled with a broken voice from the pleasure, his lips pressed onto you shoulder as he tried to be quiet as well.

he slowly moved out of you, only for slipping inside one more time to try and find his own pace. it was all so sloppy and slow it was making you see stars. the way he looked, holding your body in his arms against the wall, his bright green pupils staring right into yours as he fucked you and the unholy noises your bodies were making, parting just to reconnect once more.

jannik was giving you slow strokes, rolling his hips against yours as your nails claws all down his back, a soft and small moan escaping your lips. he groaned as he could practically hear the sloshing of the stretch deep in your cunt. “please” you managed to say between whimpers, your back on the cold marble of the wall. “what is it?” he asked you, cheeks so red from the effort that made him look so cute.

“faster… please.” it sounded like a question cause your voice was almost giving out. “fuuuck” he panted “you look s’pretty like this, doll.” his hands gripped the flesh of your legs to sustain you better, making you squirm under his touch. he was reaching spots you didn’t even know could be reached, and as he hit one in particular you whined so loud he had to warn you again.

“look at you, begging me for more when you didn’t even wanted to be fucked in the first place.” he made fun of you, knowing it turned you on even more; there was a hint of laughter in his voice when he suddenly felt your walls tightening around his cock. but his movements didn’t stop, not even for a second: his hips were rolling against yours harder than before and you knew you were close but when he twitched inside you, you felt you could cum in that very moment.

little tears of pleasure rested at the side of your eyes while you squeezed them shut. he placed a little kiss on your cheek before saying “i know you’re close, let it go.” with one final thrust you clenched so hard around him he almost whimpered out loud. you could feel your juices dripping down your tight but you couldn’t tell if they were yours or his, since he filled you up completely, like he always did.

“fuck, that was intense.” you whispered, breathing normally again. he chuckled taking his pants from the floor and giving you your skirt. “c’mon, you don’t want to miss dessert, do you?”

tag list: @rublito @yungbludz @gogz-ee @xoxolovlies @pretty-hate-machineee @2manytabsopen @carlosalcarazlefttoe @heyitsconysstuff @ithinkimokeei @kuroppiii @dilf-daniil @ricolaviecher

[myunghology]

࿐ knights members and taylor swift songs i think describes them! + lyrics <3

— ✦ knights x gn! reader (seperate!) , pure fluff, tw — reader is implied to be in a abusive relationship in arashis part

— ✦ TSUKASA SUOU + the way i loved you

“he is sensible and so incredible, and all my single friends are jealous.” — people have seen the way tsukasa treats you, like the absolute prince/ss you are, he always gives you amazing treatment and he would drop everything just to help you any time.

“he says everything i need to hear, and it's not like i could ask for anything better.” — would gladly give you reassurance anytime you need it, when you're over thinking, when you're jealous, or even if it's something personal, he'll always be there for you. (more under the cut <3)

“but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, and it's 2am and im cursing your name.” — you two have probably fought many times; not about anything financial or something with his idol work, but probably about your mental health- tsukasa screaming that you should take proper care of yourself more especially when he isn't there, but he knows it isn't your fault.

“he respects my space and never makes me wait, and he calls exactly when he says he will.” — respects your personal space even though he badly wants to know something, your comfort is more important than his curiosity, no? and he truly calls whenever he says he will, at the exact time. he always keeps his promises, yk?

“he's close with my mother and talks business with my father.” — your mom definitely loves him, he's probably like the son she wishes your brother was or the son she never had, he's such a suck up to both of your parents oh my god. and of course he talks business with your father, he's the heir of his family, isn't he? your father loves him too.

“he's charming and endearing and im comfortable.” — is anyone even surprised.. he's a part of a wealthy family and he's a gentleman, of course he's charming. but especially to you- especially when he was courting you. plus, you feel oh so comfortable whenever you're with him, he's like your safe space if it was a person.

this song screams tsukasa suou so bad it's crazy.

— ✦ LEO TSUKINAGA + i think he knows + king of my heart

“he got that boyish look that i like in a man! i am an architect, im drawing all the plans. its like im 17, nobody understands.” — we all know his features are incredibly handsome, his sharp and green eyes, his long orange hair that's always tied. it's a stupid crush- i mean out of all people, why him? you silently scold yourself.

“he got my heartbeat, skipping down 16th avenue, got that ah, i mean. wanna see what's under that attitude, like..” — you're embarrassed the way his stupid self got you falling horrendously. the way your heart skips a beat whenever he says 'i love you' but then he probably says that to everyone he meets.. and of course you want to see what's under that silly little attitude of his. you wanna see his caring side, which he has shown to you multiple times, but you definitely wanna see it more!

“he's so obsessed with me and boy i understand!” — when leo has a crush, he'd definitely be obsessed with them. bugging and annoying them 24/7, shouting out that he has inspiration whenever you walk into the same room that he's in to the point where you have to stop him from writing all over the walls and the floor; screw it, maybe even the ceiling.

“lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh.” — most charming eyes, the way his eyes also smile the same time he does. tho he does not obviously have indigo eyes, but he has the prettiest eyes either way. as for the smile, he's always smiling, no? + he's always touching you somehow, hugging you and giving you headpats.

“and you move to me like im a motown beat and we rule the kingdom inside my room.” — we all know leo likes to complete, i know this isn't technically what the lyric means but he looooves dancing with you! especially inside the little fortress inside your room you two made, that's made out of pillows <3

“never quite took me where you do?” — leo is very random at times, a lot of people know that. but to the point that he drags you to a place where he found "pretty"? once you're there with him, ideas for composing fills his mind while he looks at you with awe, the beautiful sunrise and you, just sitting there. leo likes pretty things.. and people ♪

“and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for, king of my heart.” — ou-sama~~ we all know he was the previous king of knights, but he forever stays your king in your heart, even after suou takes his place ^3^.

couldn't decide between i think he knows and king of my heart so i went with both since i think he knows was too short by itself.

— ✦ IZUMI SENA + style

“i should just tell to to leave cause i, know exactly where it leads but i, watch us go round and round each time.” — you two definitely bicker every time you see each other. arguing on what the hell the others wearing today saying it's 'not appropriate' for the occasion. literally everyone else knows that you two admire each other from afar, except yourselves.

“you got that james dean daydream look in your eye, and i got that red lip classic thing that you like.” — everyone knows izumi sena is gorgeous, the same goes for you. it's just that-- he won't admit it. buttt it's probably pretty obvious to the people he's close with tho. (e.g : knights)

“and when we come crashing down, we come back everytime.” — every. single. time. you two fight, literally the next day you two act like nothing ever happened with izumi asking you if you ate yet, and with you answering without saying anything mean.

“i say, ‘i heard, oh, that you've been out and about with some other girl.’ he says ‘what you heard was true but i, can't stop thinking bout you and i.’ i said ‘ive been there, too a few times.’” — obviously as a model and having to work with other people, there would be dating rumors. it was only natural. but you really can't help but to get jealous. although being izumi— he'll harshly (and affectionately) tell you that he's seeing you and nobody else.

“you got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt.” — but instead of slicked back his hair is definitely messy. but either way, he's still handsome! with a plain white t-shirt he wears at home, perfect for watching romcom dramas with you, and snuggling with your pet cat or dog!!!

THERE WASN'T THAT MANY OPTIONS FOR IZUMI ARGHHH 🏴‍☠️

— ✦ ARASHI NARUKAMI + gorgeous

“and i got a boyfriend, he's older than us. he's in the club doing i don't know what. you're so cool it makes me hate you so much.” — HONESTLY you could give less of a shit about your shitty boyfriend once you meet arashi, it's given she's a literal angel, saying that you should just break up with him because he treats you like crap.

“whiskey on ice, sunset and vine, you've ruined my life, by not being mine.” — it pains you and her that you're still with your 🤢boyfriend🤢. you want to be with her so bad, you just don't know how to break up with your current boyfriend.

“you're so gorgeous, i can't say anything to your face. cause look at your face.” — you stutter around her whenever she's with you, and she finds it absolutely adorable, definitely teases you about it!

“and im so furious, at you for making me feel this way, but what can i say? you're gorgeous.” — you're not that mad, but you're just frustrated at yourself for liking her when you have a boyfriend.. but your boyfriends an asshole anyway.. right? it's not your fault.

“and you should think about the consequence, of you touching my hand in the darkened room.” — whenever she touches you, you get extremely flustered, blushing sooo hard your face is practically all red.

“if you've got a girlfriend, im jealous of her. but if you're single, that's honestly worse.” — she has so many people pining over her, which obviously makes you jealous. but she just laughs it off and reassures you, that she doesn't like anyone at the moment. or does she?

“i guess ill just stumble on home to my cats, alone. unless you wanna come along?” — you sulk whenever you see her laughing with other people. once she sees you walking away she follows you around for the rest of the day, giggling at you for feeling jealous.

— ✦ RITSU SAKUMA + paper rings

“went home and tried to stalk you on the internet, now ive read all of the books beside your bed!” — headcanon ritsu reads lots of books— which leads you staying at his place a lot to read, and also to see him.. also, the first time you've met him you most probably stalked him on the internet because you found him neat. (UNDERSTATEMENT)

“cat and mouse for a month or two or three, now i wake up in the night and watch you breathe..” — playing a game of cat and mouse with ritsu is always fun! especially if he's the one chasing you everywhere for your love <3. but now, you randomly wake up in the middle of the night beside him with nothing to do but watch him sleep peacefully.

“kiss me once 'cause you know i had a long night! kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright! three times 'cause ive waited my whole life!” — you nor ritsu can't tell how long you two have been waiting for this moment. once you or he places a soft kiss on your lips; he feels like he's in bliss and he can pass out any second now as his vision turns hazy and his eyes are half-lidded whilst a smile is on his face.

“i like shiny things, but id marry you with paper rings!” — ritsu is SO desperate for you it's so funny. he kisses you the first time he gets to— so why not propose with paper rings as well? made by he, himself of course ^^ also he would gladly get on his knees for you no objections

“i want your dreary mondays, wrap your arms around me, baby boy!” — his sleepy mondays with you are always a blessing to him, in rare occasions in which he wakes up first, he always fixes his position in cuddling you as he plants a small kiss on your forehead (screw that, more like all around your face.) whilst runs his fingers through your hair.

“in paper rings, in picture frames, in all dreams.” — swore to love him all your life with those paper rings you got married with.. technically. and he has little picture frames of you guys in his room too, and don't act like he doesn't dream about you everytime he goes to bed, too!

myunghology : PINK THEME BC THIS WAS AN OLD WORK AND IM TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT😭😭

[wordbunch]

Their love song (Taylor Swift edition) > Lord of the Rings characters

a/n: welcome to my little self-indulgent celebration of 700 followers! 🥳 EVEN IF you're not a fan/don't know the songs, I hope you can still like and support this fic - a lot of time and love went into it! and by all means come talk to me about it or suggest your own songs! love you all so much and thank you for reading my stories and being a WONDERFUL community 💕💕💕

ARAGORN ♡ cowboy like me

His old wandering lifestyle made it pretty hard to be committed to a person in one place, but he made it happen as soon as it was possible, and he would have done anything in the world to give you safety, protection and all the love that you deserve. And he plans on giving it to you forever, no matter the trials and tribulations that might appear on the way.

GIMLI ♡ love story

This dwarf is a proper gentleman, a confirmed charming sweet-talker and most definitely a deeply romantic soul in a very classical way. He is very respectful towards you, and respects some traditions as well, so he wanted to ensure everything was in order before asking you to be his forever.

LEGOLAS ♡ snow on the beach

Isn't he so unusual, kind of ethereal, and positively vibrant? You never met anyone like him, with all his interesting quirks and his abundance of joy and lust for life. It is impossible not to share his fascination with nature, and you cannot help but smile just a little brighter whenever you are around him.

BOROMIR ♡ willow

This is an absolute Boromir song to me - he likes to be outright, take charge, but maybe sometimes he is just a little bit too flattering (don't blame him, he just needs to express his feelings for you approximately 26 hours a day). With him every day feels like an enchanted love story, and you feel safe with him, and both of you take pride in being together. trophy couple

FARAMIR ♡ starlight

This wonderful man is absolutely a dreamer and an imaginative person, who likes to share his thoughts and wishes with you, and finds it absolutely delightful if you agree with some of them. Everything he promises to you, he most certainly delivers. Also, he has so much love to give, and would be a very big fan of the idea of starting a family with you and just being the best supportive parents ever.

ÉOMER ♡ enchanted

Horse boy's jaw DROPPED the first time that he saw you and he forgot about everything and everyone else in that moment. He just knew he needed to approach you and get to know you as soon as possible, because he was convinced you were either already happily taken, or you would be very soon, and he couldn't live with himself if he just sat aside and let it happen.

ÉOWYN ♡ dancing with our hands tied

Her thoughts and past struggles sometimes still come back to haunt her, and the fear of being trapped resurfaces, but you're there to reassure her that you'll stay, no matter how hard things get. Even if it's the two of you against the whole world, you wouldn't rather be anyone else but by her side, hand in hand.

SAM ♡ fearless

This is such a lovely sunny song, and it instantly made me think of the best gardener boy!! He might be apprehensive about taking some risks sometimes, but you make him feel brave and strong with just one look, and the fact that you believe in him makes him more confident. On the other hand, he makes you feel like absolute royalty and he loves to spoil you and treat you so right.

FRODO ♡ jump then fall

The sweet little song that this is!!! The two of you are each other's safe place and comforting presence, no matter the rude neighbors' comments, the evils of the world, or the occasional nightmares. It's a relationship that comes from a strong friendship first, and it shows in the way that you just silently understand each other and aren't afraid to just be yourselves.

MERRY ♡ glitch

Absolutely nothing romantic was ever supposed to happen between the two of you - you just liked to get up to no good together, sometimes! But somewhere amid setting off fireworks, pulling a couple of pranks on your mutual friends and getting a little tipsy in the Green Dragon on the weekends... something just clicked, and there's no going back.

PIPPIN ♡ our song

It's a cute and a bit chaotic song, so it's perfect! He might be a little childish still (and fairly young, gotta give him that), but that doesn't make your relationship any less valid. It's full of cute little moments and small acts of love that are greatly appreciated by both of you. He loves to surprise you with small gifts and surprise visits, and absolutely makes up silly little songs to make you smile.

ARWEN ♡ delicate

She was always so kind and sweet that it was hard for you to be certain what kind of feelings she harbored for you, but you were falling in love the more time you spent together. Although she liked you back romantically the whole time, you were the first one to mention something about it, though apprehensive, and she was delighted to find out about, and return your love.

✨ taglist my beloved ✨ ​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings​​​​​​ @thesolarangel​​​​​​ @silversword7000​​​​​​ @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog ​​​​​​ @averys-place ​​​​​​ @valkyriepirate ​​​​​​ @emmaarenstarr ​​​​​​ @noldorinpainter ​​​​​​ @asianbutnotjapanese ​​​​​​ @adamgetawaydriver ​​​​​​ @fenharel-enaste ​​​​​​ @ironmandeficiency ​​​​​​      @starryeyedrogue ​​ @dinofromspac3 ​​  @wisheduponastar ​ @lady-of-imladris ​ @frodo-cinnamonroll ​ @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @sweetpea-thoughts

[paddedlittleparadise]

Hi, I’m asking different related blogs if they have any advice for this because I’m not sure what to do when the time comes and I’d like some help if thats okay?

So I recently talked to my boyfriend, who is a little, about the idea of him possibly trying diapers because I think he would look and feel adorable. We had a long discussion about it because I knew it was a hard limit for him at first but he told me he doesn’t actually know why it’s a hard limit, rather more so being a stigma he’s created in his head about trying them. I told them he wouldn’t have to use them or anything, I’d reassure him all he needed and I’d take good care of him.

Now he’s telling me he wants to try it because he knows I’d make him feel safe. However he said he’s been thinking about it a lot and he’s afraid that he’ll try it and not like it and disappoint me (there’s no way he ever could, I love him too much)

Basically what I’m trying to ask is how could I make the experience, when it happens, the most comfortable and safest? How can I make him enjoy it/let himself be looked after? How can I ease him into this? He’s also autistic so gets overwhelmed easily. I just love him so much and I want him to be comfortable and make this enjoyable for him. Also what are like… the best ones? Idk. Like what would be the comfiest for him I guess. He’s very skinny if that helps

Hey there, Anon – thanks for the thoughtful question, and so sorry it's been so long since you asked this! I wanted to give you a proper response, and life was so crazy that I'm only just now getting to it.

First off, I'm no authority on this stuff. I'm just one kinky person on the internet, so please don't take my opinions as gospel. But right at the outset, I'd say that it sounds like you're starting in a very good place. You both are communicating, and you're both aware of hard and soft limits. You're also both open to negotiating, which is a great sign of a healthy relationship – so long as you can also maintain healthy boundaries for yourselves.

It's really so sweet what you've shared about your boyfriend, and it's super relatable! Few of us want to disappoint our loved ones, and certainly when we're trying new and intimate things, it can be SO easy to feel pressure to like stuff just because we know our partner wants us to like it. I therefore think what you both will need is a bit more courage and self-assertion. Ideally, he will find the courage and the confidence to say when he dislikes something after trying it for you, since he knows that that you'll still love him regardless.

This idea is obviously something you've communicated to him verbally, but perhaps you can find other ways to show it as well by example? Maybe try watching a show he really likes – or a food, or music, or a hobby – and don't be afraid to tell him if and when you don't like it? And encourage him to do the same with you? If you can establish a relationship in which you both feel it's okay to be different in your likes and dislikes, that can make open differences in intimate affairs that much easier to communicate.

You know, for example: "Hey, I know you really like tomato soup, and that's cool! It's just really not for me. How about we have it only once a week instead of twice?" "You know, I'm so glad you love that new Taylor album! It doesn't do much for me, but I do love seeing you happy. So don't worry – I'm totally fine with listening to it on repeat now and then."

Anyway, about making a first diaper experience comfortable and enjoyable! A few thoughts:

Let him try training pants instead of full-on diapers. Goodnites come in XL sizes these days (140+ pounds); they are super cheap and easy to find at many grocery/drug stores or Amazon. In case you aren't aware, these are pull-on, thin, disposable underwear made for bedwetting teens. Because they're essentially thicker, disposable underwear and they come with an assortment of cute/cool designs printed on them, they will likely be a great way to ease into diaper play. If he's unable to fit into them, maybe check Amazon for sample packs of 2 AB/DL diapers and see if there are some with designs he might like. Pretty much any AB/DL diaper will be soft and comfy. :-)

Don't make a big deal of it. When adults are wearing something babyish, we're often embarrassed by the experience. Sometimes what we want is to be able to duck into our room – maybe at our loved one's suggestion/command – and put the thing on ourselves. Wear pants over it, maybe. And then be completely, utterly normal about it. Let life go on. Have supper. Cuddle on the couch. Watch a show. Do whatever you normally would when he's in little space. Maybe let a hand stray down there and give a little pat, complimenting him on obeying you. Tell him how cute HE is (not the diaper; it's him you love. You want to show that you're not making him into your fetish dispensing machine.). And check in casually to ask how he's doing, or if he wants to take it off. Basically, the less of a deal you make of a potentially embarrassing ordeal, the easier and less overwhelming it will likely be for him.

After a try, don't rush. Give it some time – sleep on it. Check in a day or two later, maybe. See how he feels about it. If it works for you, try again – or maybe consider putting the ball in his court and let him tell you when he'd like to try again.

Communicate your own gratitude and concern. It sounds as though your boyfriend has a strong desire to please, so giving him a sense of how much fulfillment and joy he is bringing you can be essential. Sure, it will function as positive reinforcement and make it more likely that he might want to wear again. But more importantly, it will bring him relief and joy to know that he did well, that you still love him, and that even if/when he isn't wearing something special, you love him all the same.

Again, I'm very sorry for the delayed response. I hope these few thoughts will be helpful – and best of luck to you both!

-PLP

[blingblong55]

If I didn't know better- 141

Based on a request and a personal need:

hi! i was wondering if you could do heavy angst for a fem reader? i’m not sure what but uggg i love angst

Angst, F!Reader, death of character, Platonic!Relationship

A/N: I recently cried over Marjorie by Taylor Swift and this request came up at a great time.

If I didn't know betterI'd still think you were talking to me now If I didn't know any better I'd think you were still around

Grief (noun) deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.

They say people can die from a broken heart and maybe that would be the best option for you at this point. They also say that at some point when you lose someone you love, perhaps just maybe you would start to hallucinate. And at the funeral, where now he lies, dressed in his best suit, you might begin to think this was just some imposter, that maybe he was alive. Some kind of dream.

-------

Three days ago, the task force was assigned to make the most challenging decision. Infiltrate into a Russian base. It was meant to be easy until Ghost and Gaz were ambushed and safe, but the trio in which you found yourself had much different luck.

You had told Price you had a bad feeling about this mission. You wanted to pull out of it, felt something in your gut, telling, no, begging you to stay at the base.

Communication systems broke down. You were stuck in a confined space, limbs weak. Price and Soap trying their best to get them and you out of that space.

"It's okay, Bonnie, I'll get us out, just wait and see." He reassured you, Price trying to push the vast wall that collapsed on you three, Soap holding your hand. You, well you see you had gone through something similar as a child, except, you were surrounded by other children, 12 trapped, 3 survived.

Soap was the one who knew the whole story, Price knew bits of it. That's why they fought hard to get you out, not them, but you. After 13 hours of continuous struggle, you all got out, "Told ya, Bonnie" he kissed your cheek.

It was hell after that though. Ghost and Gaz are back at base, stuck in the hard bed of the med-bay. Nurses and doctors had to tame them, they would wake up, screaming and fighting. Took many soldiers to put Ghost back into that bed.

They hadn't heard from any of you since their ambush. At some hour, Ghost feared for the outcome. Gaz on the bed next to his, "They'll be a'right mate, I know it." he tried to reassure his teammate.

Once the three of you reached a safe house, things were calm, for a while. "Think Gaz and Ghost are doing well?" Soap spoke first, breaking the silence. You all three sat on a sofa, staring into nothing.

"Maybe" you softly answer. "Better be." Price spoke next.

After that, you snuggled into soaps side, resting as he watched over you. Always your guardian angel.

Three hours into your sleep, you wakened up by an alarmed Price. "GET YOUR WEAPONS, ITS TIME TO MOVE!" He yelled over a loud sound, possibly a bomb.

Soap took you by the hand, guiding you out, you coughed through the smoke. Bullets being shot at what you thought was the enemy. You all ran, gaining bruises as you passed by rocks and tree branches. At some point Price signals you two to run faster, guns in hand.

Smoke and fire surround you. Enemy soldiers rushing at you three. Price and you start to shoot at the enemy, taking some down. Soap is being protected by you two, he builds an explosive strong enough to take a few of them down.

"GET DOWN!" He commands, Price and you obey, the bomb goes off, and at least 7 enemy soldiers scatter to bits from it. Blood falling from the sky. 19 more to go.

Mud, so much dust and blood on your uniforms staining your soul. And it's true what they say, war is never fun, kind or welcoming to those who fight it. It's not even rewarding, it leaves you scarred and nearly dead every time you pick a gun up. You die with each bullet you fire, not physically but mentally you do.

It's war and it will never be fair.

"GO, GO, GO!" Price commanded, he ran behind you two, leaving no one, at least you two, behind.

You hide by some creek, and you all sit there, waiting for the next attack and listening to the water flow down. You took some of the water, cleaning your face which was full of nothing but mud and some blood. "Think Ghost has been tranquillised, by now?" Soap never fails to know his teammates. Price chuckles, "No doubt that kid is giving 'em hell."

"19 left," you softly say.

"What's that about, Bonnie?"

"19 more enemy soldiers," you look up at them, the cold wind now hitting your face.

Long limbs and frozen swims You'd always go past where our feet could touch And I complained the whole way there

"I told you Price, this one would be hard, I knew it'd be."

"Look kid, this is war, nothing will be fucking easy, we are soldiers, we follow orders and execute them to absolute precision."

Soap gave you a kind look. He was always the one to trust your gut, knowing you had a reason to feel this.

For hours after, you all walked in silence. Boots making the noise, it was now around 2am, so close to the base, yet so far. At some point you find yourself in the cold mountains of the country, only surrounded by the snow and stones.

You all sat down, looking at each other, not saying a word. "Shit couldn't get any worse for us." he chuckles,

Soap and you chuckle with him. You all start to tell stories, about the days of your young years in the military. These were the conversations worth keeping for years to come.

The car ride back and up the stairs I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

An hour passes the cold stormy weather, messing with your vision. "This is the plan, we go south for now, try and avoid attention, understand?" Price asks, looking at you both.

For the next thirty minutes, you walk, jog and run. Desperately wanting to find some ally to help you. Unfortunately, one met their demise.

5 soldier,s left to just three of you, an easy task. What happened next left the two of you empty.

Price took out two, you one. Only two left, Soap and you take out another, the scope in his gun finally being of good use. One left, what's more, to ask.

All your closets of backlogged dreams And how you left them all to me

"Bonnie!" Soap pushed you to the ground, and a gunshot echoed around. "Enemy down!" Price walked to the two of you. The three of you now stand there, breathless yet victorious.

"Soap?"

You asked once his smile was wiped off. Blood gushed from his mouth. He fell on his knees, looking up at you, you kneeled down, holding him close. Price shot the actual final enemy. "Soap, stay with me, c'mon, don't do this!" You panicked, all he could do was look at you. With the ghost of a smile on him, he cups your cheek, "I always did love you, r/n" he barely let out. He fell on his side, Price and you trying to stop the bleeding and trying to keep him warm.

"Soap? please don't leave us...don't leave me," you whispered, there was nothing more to do, but watch him die.

"It's time for me to go home, Bonnie"

You shook your head, trying to cancel out his words, "No, not yet, you stay here, with us...me....please Johnny, please." you begged knowing damn well all was lost.

Price took his hat off and rested it over his chest, looking at his comrade.

"Rest, you have earned that, son"

Soap sighs, his hand holding yours, grip loosening. He looks at you, with a small smile as he closes his eyes.

What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head

"I love you Johnny, my favourite friend." You kiss his cheek, and he finally let go. Finally met peace.

It's been now three days since his death. Only Price has seen you since then, you have been sleeping in Soaps bed. Wearing an old jacket, but not touching the rest of his stuff. Although the love you two had for the other was platonic, you kept thinking of the what if's.

Maybe if you loved him more than just a friend, maybe he could stay just a little longer. If you didn't know better, it was him humming you to sleep each night.

His ghost dances with your shadow, kissing you good night, wishing you could stop crying and blaming yourself. His favourite girl in the whole world. The one he could never stop loving.

Even in his last moments, he loved you.

At his funeral, you sobbed into the arms of the three men. You swore he was there, and felt some weird warmth on your shoulder when you looked down at his grave.

What died didn't stay dead You're alive, so alive

He was alive, in you, he is alive. He still tells you his jokes and makes comments on Ghost's stupid masks. Right now, he is right there, hand on the small of your back as you put a white rose and an orange tulip on his coffin. The Family walked away, but you stayed there. You grabbed some of the dirt and threw it at the coffin once it was lowered.

Sat by his now grave, been a full year now. Some moved on, others didn't.

And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around

"Hi, Bonnie, how are things at the base?" he sits beside you, playing with the grass and flowers.

"Price let his beard grow a little more. We have a tattoo of you," you chuckle, "Gaz got it too, you know how he hated tattoos" You look at him.

"Can't believe it took my death to get a bloody tattoo" he laughs a little, hand on your back, his head resting on your shoulder.

"Ghost and I are getting more along now, he talks about you a lot" You too play with the grass underneath you.

"Hey, you better not replace me"

"But not to worry, I'll never replace you"

"How are you?"

"It's been hell, Johnny, I forgot your voice" Your voice cracks, tears running down your cheek. His hand wipes them away, and you feel a cold breeze pass by.

"I'll be waiting for you, Bonnie, and I bet you'll get tired of my voice."

"You'd be 29 now, Happy birthday Johnny." You kiss the tips of your fingers and place them on his stone.

He kissed your cheek, another cold breeze you feel.

I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

------

Tags: @screamonic

A/N: I think I had a mental breakdown as I wrote it, so...yeah..if it's shit...sorry

[jackdelroys]

passenger. | bob taylor/reader

summary; it's his first time, and he can't tell if it's too much, or not enough.

wc; 1434

notes; happy pride month have (bottom) bob taylor gay sex i wrote as my half of an art trade. nsfw! obviously. established relationship, no use of y/n, reader has a penis but if you squint i guess it can be a strap.

He was clueless as to where to go from here.

To be fair, he never really thought he'd get this far. 

Dishes are long forgotten, half soaked in the sink and dinner has gone chilly and though he imagined things would be like the movies, slow and steady and romantic, he wasn't disappointed in how it had turned out.

Love was rough, and messy and desperate and he was willing to learn this, from the moment you'd rushed his mouth, pressing him against the couch cushions and suddenly he's gasping in surprise before falling apart immediately beneath you. He felt that need burning deep in him before he'd even really acknowledged it, unsure and even with you working away what little space and clothes still kept you apart he felt as if maybe, somehow he could manage to mess it all up, afraid of frightening you away with his blatant inexperience. So he stumbles out his confession, seeking some sort of penance, maybe, to his savior and guardian held barely up on top of him, trying so desperately, almost comically tearing at the belt of his pants. He still looks at you like you're god above him. 

“I don't…” he trails off quickly, realizing how silly he must sound. He bites his tongue, best not to say anything at all and risk ruining this, to him. But gentle fingers brush his lips and drag from him an admission that isn't much a surprise to you, rather than a final confirmation. Of course he was a virgin.

He's immediately begging for forgiveness.

You hush him with your kiss, his eyes squeezing shut as he desperately follows your touch. You glance barely down at him, see his hands twitching, wanting, needing more of you. You take lead again, your thumbs brushing his cheeks gently, then his shoulders, tracing every freckle and scar and blemish you can across his skin.

When you remind him that you love him, his breath hitches, finally grasping at your back and eyes widening as he takes in what you've said. What you mean. 

He feels ashamed, naked under you finally, but you shower him in praises and affections as best you can until he's begging for you, with wanton pleas every time you manage to press your knee between his legs with just enough pressure for him to rut against as you take great care in showing him just how much he means to you. His mind is clouding, hazy from the taste of your lips and he almost has the confidence to let his hands glide lower, lower on you until he freezes, snapping back up to where he feels secure and safe and trusting. 

He's so…fragile underneath you, you think, gentle and sweet and precious, and you're sure to tell him this as you see him exhale his nerves alongside sighs of adoration. 

His hands are still held tight onto your arms, moving to your shoulders to hoist himself closer to you -- and when you finally push into him he almost cries. Not from fear, or pain like normal but pleasure, and innocence and a finality of acceptance that maybe he is allowed to be happy, and then for the fact that maybe he has died, and gone to heaven and this is it because it feels so good in a way he's never really known, never really thought he could feel. 

Timid mewls are drawn from his tongue with every minute movement, and though you don't mean to pull so hard, you do, gripped tightly into his hair and following his whine you feel the way he tightens around your cock and, at your own moan, again, watching himself twitch as meticulously you begin to move, careful at first as he winces with discomfort and his nails dig deep into your sides despite the glisten of his own precum beginning to coat his lower abdomen.

“Okay, baby, ‘s okay,” you reassure him.

Virginity aside, it's almost like he knows, nodding and muttering your name again and again, begging you for just a little more, just a little harder, embarrassed at first until his hand curls around yours to together tighten your grip on his hair, knee jerking up and almost knocking the wind out of you when you give it a rather forceful tug -- “Sorry, I’m sorry,” he’s panting between your thrusts, but you're already catching his leg to be able to fuck him just a little deeper, and his voice is cracking and melting before he can get out the last few syllables, words tumbling over each other into incomprehensible, wanton sort of sounds, a little higher pitched than his normal voice but you're doubting it's on purpose, not with the way his head falls back against the arm of the sofa and his bangs fall in front of his eyes and he doesn't seem to care, hips pushing up in rhythm to meet with you, in a surprise not unwelcome despite his meek start. 

It's with this small sliver of his own confidence you find your forehead is falling against his, where you breathe his name, once, twice, “Doing so good for me, come on, I know you can take it, Bobby, baby, fuck,” and he feels so wonderful for those few moments of building bliss that you forget just how breakable he is, pulling a little harder and pushing into him a little rougher and unable to brace him for the pace you've set, he comes unraveling at the feeling of you so close and willing to indulge when he pleads, more, more, don't stop, in broken hymns. 

He's shaking, weeping your name as heaven comes crashing down and he swears for a second he sees the light, or maybe it's just he's hit his head too hard against your shoulder, biting down and not caring about the way you grunt from the pain, crying your name one last time muffled as he cums, spilling all across himself and squirming, quivering as you continue to chase your own orgasm, building quick with the way he's still so tight around you and desperately trying to kiss you now; It's all teeth and tongue and you're scared you might bruise his poor abused mouth at this point but return it anyways, harder as he catches your moan, final and resolute and he shamefully thinks he could get addicted to the way your cum feels so warm in him as you finally groan lowly into his neck, another sensory too overwhelming to him already so overstimulated that he merely huffs and nods his head, little but whining sobs escaping him with little comfort but the brushing of his hair gently, particularly in the spots you know you've pulled at, and kisses against the bruising skin you can't remember sucking lovebites into. 

You push yourself off of his chest to look him over, the poor thing, but that soft smile he wears like always, where his eyes crinkle just a little and it almost falls before he truly does realize his feelings tells you he doesn't much mind the way he's sweating and that it's a little harder to breathe when you're laying on him, because it's always a little harder to breathe when you're around, or so he's held the opinion. His stomach tightens in knots as he realizes you're still very naked and very much unwilling to move from the way his arms wrap around your shoulders, thighs cradling you into his figure. 

His eyes look soft as ever, staring up at you, tired and big and dazed after his first time you think, and you wonder if really all he needed at all this whole time was simply to feel as loved and cherished physically as you had always made him feel emotionally, but that's something you shake away knowing how quickly his anxiety will creep back onto him, you can see it already with how he wriggles underneath you and glances nervously towards his discarded clothes between faltering grins, and know that what you offer is only enough so far as you help him remember it so, that there's no band-aid solution to him, not that he's broken beyond repair but more that you're willing to take your time in his healing rather than resort to careless quick-fixes.

But still he mutters your name and clears his throat, asking if it would be a good idea to get up now since the food is probably cold at this point. You chuckle, pulling yourself out of and off of him.

Yes, you agree, it would be.