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nayvwriter · 3 months ago

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My New Ghost Type Theory

(Nexomon Extinction Spoilers)

(Lots of images in this post, but the text should hopefully explain the key features of them well enough?)

So if you've been on nexomon tumblr for a while, you've probably seen either me or @tulipsnflowers talking about ghost type theories.

If you haven't, the background is this: every type in Nexomon 1 has at least one Primordial Tyrant attached. This is no longer the case by Nexomon Extinction.

The Ghost-type doesn't have one. But Ghost and Psychic both appeared between games. If you go by the headcanon that the rest of the types appeared when a Primordial Tyrant of that type was made, what happened to create the Ghost-type? We have several theories, many of which are… Somewhat unlikely. I've come up with another one. Bear with me.

So I was looking into Nexomon types. Looking for patterns, mostly. Didn't really expect to find any.

Have a couple of diagrams of the types in Nexomon 1, what beats what.

Nice and neat. Also there are so many rock-paper-scissors style triangles (I count five?)

N2 is… less neat. Here's a diagram with them in a circle by birth order.

I swear this is going somewhere. You'll notice that I've put Ghost before Psychic and after Electric for lack of better ideas, and Normal just off to the side because it's weird.

Do you notice that there's almost a circle around the outside?

If we remove Ghost, it looks like this. Excluding the break between Psychic (last) and Mineral (first) which is only there for visibility reasons (this might as well be a line)… This has a circle around the outside, with almost every type beating the previous one in a fight. The ones that don't are weak to (Nara, both sides) or mutually effective (Psychic and Electric).

So what if you make it an entire circle?

If you try and make it an entirely anticlockwise circle with all of the nine types, you end up with this nonsense, which makes no sense.

This is because including Normal messes everything up. I promise I know where I'm going with this.

If you just ignore Normal and try and make a circle including Ghost, then there's one particular place it goes. Between Wind and Fire.

Ignore Normal being awkwardly at the top I will explain that later.

Point is. Look! A (broken) circle! Mostly anticlockwise, with types beating the types before them, other than Psychic and both sides of Plant. But why would this mean anything? Ghost couldn't possibly be there…

Could it?

This is about where I remember a very specific line in Nexomon Extinction.

I forgot to screenshot it on my playthrough, so I screenshotted a youtube video.

Fenrir calls himself the third son of Omnicron. Not third child. Third son. So unless Nadine is transgender… who was the second?

(Realistically this is probably a mistake on the developer's part. However.)

Bear with me a second… what if Omnicron made his children's types deliberately, always trying to create a stronger type? One that could beat the previous type? That explains why the circle is mostly anticlockwise. It explains why Psychic doesn't entirely fit, because Solus wasn't a child of Omnicron. It explains Normal, because Metta had all of their powers, making versatility his strength, so that's why he wasn't specifically stronger.

(Another fun thing about that theory is that it raises the possibility Nara deliberately made Solus's type weak to her own. Just in case.)

It doesn't explain why Nara doesn't fit. So let me show you this.

Mineral, Wind, Ghost, Fire, Water, Electric, Plant, Normal.

I've put Ghost in between Wind and Fire, and Plant after Electric.

The broken circle is entirely anticlockwise now. Omnicron trying to make a stronger type again and again, finishing with Metta who could command them all… What if this was how it went?

In this situation, assuming Mysterious Ghost Child is male, Fenrir is the third son of Omnicron. Merida is still the fifth child of Omnicron, and Zetta still the sixth. Nara's shifted position, but the only one who told us of Nara's position was Deena, and we know Deena's not against lying…

So the obvious question is – what happened to the ghost? Answer: Omnicron happened. Omnicron might have been a bit nervous about a child who could beat his own type. And one way or another, it all came to a head. And Omnicron banished his child directly to the Netherworld, removing their type from existence.

After this, the Children of Omnicron don't talk about their lost sibling. Hence why Fenrir calls himself third child of Omnicron at some point – he's pretending his ghost brother didn't exist. Merida and Zetta don't go quite that far, though. And Deena never actually states her position in n1 – she does say Omnicron had seven children, but she could also be pretending he didn't exist.

This has the effect of making humanity put the pieces together and figure Nara must have been fourth. Deena, by n2, just sort of shrugs. Let's Go With That. She is not an information-sharer and she is not explaining her second-oldest brother.

Mysterious Ghost Type, meanwhile, escaped from the Netherworld when Blue broke in, and that's why the Ghost type is back in n2.

Another thing this could explain is who Ziegler's prisoner is? Because he doesn't seem to be assigned one, in n1. It's vaguely implied it could be the protagonist, but I don't think that works. Of course, he could just not have one, but if he did maybe it was this ghost Primordial.

There are a few timing questions here – when was the ghost-type brother banished? And… does Metta know about all this? He could not know if he was born after Ghost was banished.

So yeah. It's quite an out-there theory, but it works.

I have more thoughts on this (like the fact Fenrir and this guy probably know each other somehow) and also a design (thank you Tulip) and I think a name? Umbra, from Latin for shadow. But I've rambled for quite long enough now. I hope this made sense!

#nayv original #nexomon #nexomon extinction #the ghost type problem #nexomon ramble #Umbra

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dunedragon · 1 year ago

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I was wondering how many of the Battle network games have you played and gave you watched the anime at all?

I own all of the english manga and read the unrealeased chapters I could find :D (I think there are a few obscure ones still floating out there, and I haven't read Battle Stories) I'm a few episodes into axess. For the games, I tend to be a completionist so I've been 100% them as I go. I started my third playthrough of 4 last night (oooooh my god, the game isn't hard, but it sure is a trial of patience) but im nearly finished 100% this one. I haven't reached 5 or 6 yet.

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lildoodlecat · 3 months ago

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Tales asks 10 12 14 15 19 20 and 25 if ya would! Sorry for it being a lot lol I just wanna get to know ya 😅

wo a h yeah sure let's go!

10. favorite battle

this one's hard just bc i don't remember every game i've played terribly well lol but I'd say either the final battle with Asch in Abyss or fighting the party in the cave as Leon in Destiny DC!! Both are pretty climactic and (potentially) challenging fights :D also I just love the ones where you fight your own party members—and meaning of birth is such a good song,,

12. favorite opening/theme song

hmmm I really like most of the openings.. I can say that Symphonia's is my favorite to sing along to! Fav overall tho, maybe カルマ from Abyss? It'd be easier to say which ones I don't like as much als;kdfj

14. an unpopular opinion

liking zestiria— no but fr umm hm what IS an unpopular opinion i have.... i suppose i DO think Symphonia and Vesperia are overrated? This isn't a terribly informed opinion tho, seeing as I played Symphonia one (1) time and liked it okay, but I never actually finished Vesperia. Honestly I can't say I know what opinions aren't popular lkasjdf i do very much hang out in my corner and haven't interacted much with the larger English tales fandom (presuming there is an active one? the series has been on a bit of decline from what i've heard)

15. a side quest that stuck with you

memory problems gang rise up!! i have NO idea. In terms of sidequests I, like, remember in general—the mushroom one in Abyss is a neat one. Mostly I enjoy playing as Asch in the rare moments you can but I also like how it shows he still cares for his mother despite all the hatred, displacement, and loneliness he's been bottling up for 7 years

19. a game you changed your opinion on & why

alright strap in. i LOVED Xillia the first time I played it. Like 6 hours a day every day until I finished it loved it. I definitely wouldn't say I hate it now, but it's not a favorite. Honestly I think it's just that it's been a while, that I've played more games in the series (Xillia was my second) and especially that I don't like the exploration aspect of the gameplay much on subsequent playthroughs, or how ridiculously easy the game is without raising the difficulty myself. It just kinda became lukewarm for me ig

on the other end of the spectrum, when I finished Destiny PSX i just thought it was fine. It was kind of cool but I didn't feel much about it beyond some surface-level enjoyment of it as a pixel jrpg, which is a style i like regardless. Then I started playing DC, and suddenly I was longing for PSX Destiny. I missed the battle style, the puzzles, the environments—and after finishing both sides of DC I compared it to some story aspects and general feel of Destiny PSX and I was like. Actually Destiny PSX is a really good game. It's very reminiscent of Chrono Trigger (my childhood jrpg) for me in a lot of ways, and after getting attached to the Destiny cast thrice over, how could I not love it?

20. best mystic arte

god i haven't played a tales with proper mystic artes besides Destiny DC in a hot minute,,

[genuinely like 30min later of me watching mystic arte exhibitions on yt]

so apparently Abyss has A LOT of mystic artes wow. Anyway based purely off mystic artes I've seen in-game, I'm gonna say Luke's Radiant Howl Ion extension. Because yayy Ion is helping :3

honorable mentions: Stahn's third(?) mystic arte you have to use to win DC's final battle, Lailah's Primal Embrace, Tear's Grand Fonic Hymn

25. a special memory you have with the tales series

I'd say my second Zestiria playthrough, the only time I played a through a tales game with another person. Not sure how I convinced her, but I played it with my younger sister! She's genuinely my best friend, and getting to play backup for her and show her some of my favorite characters while we both had a fantastic time is very precious to me. Especially since she adamantly refuses to play any other tales game with me laksjdf;l if only bc they're so long and not her preferred style of gameplay (she likes metroidvanias)

#hope my answers are at least somewhat satisfying lol #hellooo my terrible memory. i won't remember things until they're staring me in the face <3 #makes me feel like i have to continuously replay all the tales games forever lmao #jays tales shouting #jay talks back #ask game

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thunderberryz · 1 year ago

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Star's Rune Factory 3 Special 1st Playthrough, Part 3: It's... already nearly over?

So, going into Rune Factory 3 Special, I knew that the main story was going to be a fairly quick affair. That was one of the big things I heard about RF3; it's a good game, but it's not the longest. And I thought to myself "Well, I played RF5 and I'm pretty sure I finished the main story by early autumn of year 1 in my one playthrough. Surely, it can't be as quick or quicker than THAT."

It is, in fact, early autumn of Year 1 and I am just about to rescue Micah's fiancee AKA Shara from Aquaticus.

Knowing that I am very close to the end of the plot, I feel like it is a good opportunity to talk about the story. When I think about RF3's story... it's weird. Vishnal's marriage event comes to mind because the flaws of that event, I feel, encompasses a lot of the issues I have with RF3's plot. I have an older post going over my experience watching Vishnal's marriage event via YT, but to explain its biggest issue; it's short. I don't know if it's THE shortest of all the marriage events (I've still haven't gotten around to watching Forte's, Margaret's, Clorica's, Doug's, and Dylas'), but it is the shortest of the ones I have seen so far. And because it is so short, everything in that event comes in rapid fire--the plot, the emotions, Vishnal's proposal, the resolution--and so for what is there, it never feels like there's enough time to enjoy a scene and let it set in before the next thing happens.

That is essentially what happens with Rune Factory 3. The game has an incredibly good plot in concept, but because it's so short and things happen so quickly, it's difficult to appreciate what's there when it's there. For instance, compared to the likes of Frey/Lest and Alice/Ares, there is a lot less mystery with Micah; he starts recovering his memories immediately after defeating the first boss and it's always a sort of "Oh, that happened" kind of deal whenever he discovers an orb that triggers a recollection, even though him regaining his memories should really be that much bigger of a deal (the most emotional memory recovery scene was, I feel, the third where he remembered that he was the one tasked with defeating the monsters causing problems around Sharance, since it plays into the intro to the Death Wall fight later.)

There is also the matter of the Human-Univir conflict, which is its own problem. It's bad enough that it is resolved fairly easily, but the fact that the conflict isn't rationalized very well beyond "The Univir were exiled from Sharance at some point in the past--no one knows why, but the humans of Sharance and the Univir have hated each other since" is kind of... sad. In what I've experienced so far of the series, Rune Factory plots aren't anything to write home about, but... I don't know. I can't say whether RF3's plot turns out to be forgettable, but I can't say anything from the game's main story sticks out other than getting Kuruna to stop being so prejudiced against humans by giving her a handmade bouquet from the residents of Sharance.

But you know what they say; a mediocre story can be saved by good characters! And while I was initially overwhelmed by RF3's cast as mentioned in my first post, I've grown somewhat used to the eccentricities of Sharance by now and if there's anything memorable about the writing, it's how bonkers everyone is while still managing to convey some genuinely heartfelt storytelling. (And according to people on Reddit, XSEED's new translation for Special is apparently toned down from Natsume's original. Geez, I wonder how I would have reacted if this had been the original DS version.)

My favorites are the same as last time and... goddamn, I really do love Shara. Initially I figured I'd be marrying her purely to see if she was as bad as the fanbase makes her out to be and then in my second playthrough move on to a bachelorette I actually feel has genuine chemistry with Micah, but I really do like these two together. Granted, she doesn't have the most emotionally intensive plot associated with her requests (It's more about helping her younger sister, Monica, come out of her shell than any issues that Shara herself has), but she's so sweet and kind, cares for her family, and she loves flowers! I love flowers! And not gonna lie, her manner of teasing Micah and occasional bluntness do remind me of Frey, so that might have something to do with why she hits just right for me.

Girl, plz. You're killing poor boy.

That said, even though I made the firm decision this playthrough to marry her (and we would have had the wedding by now if Aquaticus didn't * grumbles *), there are other bachelorettes that I am considering marrying in subsequent playthroughs, which is pretty shocking considering my track record with RF4S. And by track record, I mean Arthur is the entire record.

Of the other bachelorettes, I've done a fair chunk of Sakuya's requests and I still like her a lot; besides having one of the more "normal" personalities, her love of travel and commerce reminds me a lot of Arthur (even though she's not a workaholic and is genuinely concerned with profits) and I'm liking the progress of her character development through her events. She also has a cute character design, but that's only ever a nice bonus and not something that determines whether I like a character or not.

The bachelorettes I was most skeptical of were Raven and Pia, and this is because I was aware of the fandom's opinions on those characters going in. Long story short: I figured this was going to be another Leon and Dylas situation for me, and by that, you know, I don't dislike either of them, they're pretty neat and I get why they hit close to home for some people, but it got annoying to see them constantly treated as objectively The Best when hey, their writing is not perfect, there's a reason why not everyone romances them; I'm certainly among those people. And at first, I was disappointed. Pia's personality was too airheaded for my tastes, and Raven... I liked her guest appearance in RF4S, but here, she's a straight up tsundere and tsunderes are one of those hit-or-miss kind of characters for me.

In Raven's case, I think I've done at least half her requests by now and by god, I feel bad for judging her so fast. Despite being a tsundere, she actually has an incredibly valid reason for telling Micah to stay away from her; according to her, anyone who becomes close to her disappears and she's afraid of the same thing happening to him. That... that hit hard and even if she doesn't end up being my favorite ship choice for Micah, I do want her to be happy.

Pia, I think, was just an instance of finding her initial personality overwhelming like many others in Sharance. I can't give any opinions on her character arc because I have only done one or two of her requests, but she is very cute. She is often lost in her own little world and tends to blatantly ignore things Micah says, but I do really love her happy-go-lucky approach to life and I unironically find her personal vendetta against squid hilarious. (She and Margaret would be friends.)

That is definitely the benefit of the romance system in RF3S. I'm sad there isn't a true dating phase and you can just go right to marriage once you've gotten the Engagement Ring recipe from Wells and Marjorie, but knowing that I can help these girls with their personal issues without having to turn down a heartwarming proposal at the end of their last request does make me feel a bit better about "hareming" all these bachelorettes. (And I say that as someone who detests harems and prefers a single dedicated romance in any narrative.)

My next post will presumably be my last for this first playthrough given how fast this has gone. I'm still incredibly attached to Selphia and RF4S is still my favorite game of the RFs I have played, but there really is a lot to love about RF3S despite its imperfections and I am already looking forward to my next playthrough. Cheers, everyone! I'll see you next time!

#rune factory #rune factory 3 #rf3 #star plays rf3S #spoilers

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capricorndevil15 · 1 year ago

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🍂☕ Scarlet Hollow ask game ☕🍂

I really wanted to do this ask game, so I've done it! Scarlet Hollow is one of my favorite games right now (second only to Deltarune). And I just wanted to have some fun, so here we go! Original was made by @juleshollow (thank you!!).

TRAITS:

Your "canon" trait combination? I have a couple different runs, and I haven't decided yet which is my "canon" playthrough, if there ever will be one. Regardless, I'm Powerful Build/Hot and Powerful Build/Keen Eye! (Will shorten Powerful Build to PB from now on. 🥜🧈)

What third trait would you add for hardcore mode? Tbh I haven't messed with hardcore mode yet. It's not too appealing for me (I am just not the type of gamer this mode is made for) because I feel like the consequences don't match the "crime". Conversely, I'm one of those dirty hackers who goes into the game files and changes the rules so that I can play with all 7 traits unlocked with no drawbacks. I've done this for a couple of playthroughs, but there's no combination that I super-like yet (though I will admit Mystic is a nice add-on to any existing combo). Once the game is all finished, I want to do a playthrough where I have all 7 traits and save the town. Not the hero Scarlet Hollow wants, but the hero we need. B) I will fix everything, goddamn.

What trait are you least drawn to? Probably Talk to Animals (TTA)? There are just other traits that I like more. If this game had more snakes in it, though, I'd certainly feel a different way. 🐍💕 Also, I was wary of Hot before I tried it, and still have some gripes with certain writing choices, but it's become one of my go-to traits.

Coolest trait? Fuckin PB, dude!! The one thing you always wish you could do in a horror movie, right? Be strong enough to punch the monsters in the face, beat the killers up, and it actually works! You really are strong enough, you really can protect! Maybe this says something about my psyche, or maybe I am just small and frail in real life, but dude I love to be the strong friend in this game. Also, I'm often drawn to the "regular" characters in horror/fantasy settings. Like, how does the guy without supernatural powers hold their own? What are they doing here? That's impressive and compelling.

ROMANCE:

Who are you romancing? Reese. Once he starts talking about horror movies, it becomes impossible to not kiss him.

What romance are you least interested in? I dunno? I'm probably not gonna do a Stella playthrough because I'm gettin Stabby back together if it kills me (if it kills me!). I like all the characters and think their romantic lives are interesting (I also really like Kaneeka/Reese. They are so nigthmare before christmas.)

Who would you romance if every single character was eligible? Probably Reese again LMFAO. On the real, maybe Winnie? Or Janey?

MISCELLANEOUS:

What character would hurt you the most if something bad happened to them? Tabitha. :(

Would you stay in Scarlet Hollow when the week is over? So, my MC is basically a fancharacter w/ his own personality distinct from mine. That's probably assumed, but I wanted to clarify for this question. I think w/ how things are currently going, he'll either choose to stay in The Holler after the week is through, or make some arrangement where he frequently visits. Him and Tabby are very close, so they will keep contact somehow. (And if you're thinking "lol, Tabby will probably be dead by the end of the game" well, my phrasing still stands, because he will visit Tabitha's grave every month with two cans of cream soda for them to share!! So who is laughing now!!!)

Who would you vote for dog mayor? Scraps 4 sure.

#scarlet hollow #ask game #long post #hi scarlet hollow tag!! :3 #my MC's name is Magnolia Maggie Scarlet and he is a middle school english teacher/wrestling coach from Houston.

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thessalian · 11 months ago

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Thess vs The List, Again

Oh, I failed to mention that I have been working on my whole resolution to at least try all of my games by the end of the year. This is slightly made problematic by the fact that I keep getting more games, but hey, it's not that bad of a problem to have. At least if I keep trying, I can whittle down the list of games I haven't even touched yet. So here we go:

Transistor: This is the one that won my little poll, and while the general story seems really interesting, the controls are not exactly intuitive for me. My tolerance for fiddly has pretty much died. I'll probably try it again when I have a few more spoons available.

Pentiment: Now this one, I liked. It doesn't exactly feed that need for Doing Things that attracts me to a lot of games (whether it's a farming sim, building sim, or just something where I can beat on people without getting arrested), but definitely an interesting one.

Garden In: This is a new one for me (released last year), but ... I mean, that still counts towards "whittling down the list", right? As the name suggests, it's basically a gardening sim, but one where you can also decorate your surroundings and the plants don't die a permanent death if dry or infested with bugs. So it's very Zen, though I figure it'll probably be one I finish all the achievements for and then put away for awhile, only to come back when I need that particular kind of Zen. Like I do with Pan'orama.

Model Builder: I liked this one, and it's very much my kind of Zen, but it can also be a little fiddly, so I'm going to have to restart that one. Probably going to be my go-to Zen for awhile once I've 100%-ed Garden In.

Enigmatis: The Ghost of Maple Creek: Thrown at my head for Christmas this year. I mean, I had the second, third, and fourth game in that series, and was just missing the first, so ... yeah. Anyway, a pretty standard hidden object game, and definitely my idea of a good time. (Side note: even if they don't live on my wishlist, a hidden object game never goes amiss.)

This War Of Mine: Yeah, I know, it was THE game for awhile and I'm only just now poking at it. It looks really interesting, and I'm slowly figuring out how to work the thing, but ... I think it's a little too grim for me at the moment. I need something way more sunshiney at this point. Or at least something that isn't "Everyone is living in abject misery". If I wanted that, I'd just look outside.

An Arcade Full Of Cats: More hidden object fun, and much more my speed. No particular story involved; just a "Find the cats and stuff" mandate and a bit of messing with the set dressing. It's cute, it's fun, and I guess I must not be alone in thinking that because there's a whole franchise of "Full Of Cats" hidden object games (where in some cases, there's a whole achievement based around finding the representations of the dev team's cats, so you get finding cartoon cats and real-furbaby cat tax).

Memory Fragment: Another one that's fiddlier than it needs to be, honestly. I think they were trying a little too hard with some of the mechanics. I'll probably try it again at some point.

Paradise Killer: I'm only a few minutes into this one, but it honestly wasn't grabbing me. The premise is ... probably interesting, but while I will probably carry on a little further just to see what's going on with it, the fact is that it's a first-person perspective game and those are hard for me. Might have to go into the NOPE column on general principles. And, y'know, not wanting my head to explode.

I'm pretty well resigned to not getting everything at least sampled before the end of the year. Not least because a) my birthday's coming up and for most people, hitting my Steam wishlist is just the easiest option, given the whole "ocean in the way thing" (plus maybe presents to myself, y'know), b) I actually want to finish a Baldur's Gate 3 playthrough, and c) Horizon: Forbidden West comes out in about 7 weeks and that's going to eat my time for awhile (I should probably pick up Zero Dawn again just to remind myself what I'm doing there). Plus d) the office is a mess again (that's for another post, though). Still, I'm going to keep poking away at it. There are a lot of games there, and I have a 2TB external drive (plus space remaining on the 1TB external drive I got in honour of Baldur's Gate 3), so even the ones I didn't bother installing could see a return to at least test out. Plus it'd be nice to know the ones I can just leave uninstalled in perpetuity. Also, there's the off chance that some of the first-person perspective ones could be played, if they're not too frenetic ... y'know, if I bothered to get my prescription checked. I'm looking into that but I'm trying to figure out how best to go, "Look, I just want my prescription; I'll order the glasses themselves online because it's cheaper". We'll see. I do have an entire week off coming up soon. Ugh. They're going to do that stupid eye-puff glaucoma test that always leaves me with a migraine for the rest of the day. Still, better that than the increasingly regular headaches I've been getting lately. Part of it's probably stress, but the rest is probably "my eyes are going to shit". If I didn't need varifocals, it'd be fine! Or at least cheaper!

Don't mind me. It's not a lack of being able to afford it. It's a combination of sticker shock and general frustration with the whole process. Mostly because it just has to be done again a year or two down the line. The whole problem with being an adult is having to take yourself to the doctor etc, not to mention paying for it.

#Thess plays video games #Thess is a motherfucking adult

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tankbredgrunt · 1 year ago

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End of year wrap-ups, 2023

It's presently June while I start to write this, and I thought if I wanted to put together a list of media consumed over 2023 I could at least get an early start, for as much my sake of mindfulness and talking about the things I loved/hated. If you're interested too, you can read more; first is video games, then music, then movies and tv, then books. If you feel like talking about anything in here don't hesitate! This is going to be a nightmare to tag though so, I probably won't lmao.

Nothing is necessarily ranked in order either btw, and just because I didn't write any thoughts with something doesn't mean I disliked it. Just no thoughts you know? I could have thoughts though. For the right price.

Viddy Games

For the games I haven't yet beaten but did spent some time playing, I made 12 hours of progress into Hollow Knight and am very keen to get back into it; I played Cyberpunk 2077 for about 47 hours, and am very keen to get back into it; Baldur's Gate 3 has ~9 hours at this moment, and I'm keen, etc; and Starfield has 32 hours in it and I am NOT keen to get back into it. I can get into that later though. 🏆 means I got the Platinum achievement trophy too :3

Last of Us Part 1 (x2)/Last of Us PS4 Remaster (x3)/Last of Us PS3 (x1) 🏆 - 5 stars On top of regular playthroughs, this year also marked the dip into Grounded mode. I completed one Grounded round on the Part 1 PS5 remake, and 2 more on the PS4 remaster (for the achievements). It would be impossible to discuss the reasons why I love this game so much so I will spare yall, a mercy dedicated to anyone who's already had to/gotten to hear me go on about it. I also got two TLoU tattoos this year. Ask me about my theories still though. One of my favorite moments from my 2nd Grounded run (Including one of the nearly-100 fuck ups leading up to that point):

youtube

Death Stranding - 5 stars I'm coming in to write about this one retroactively, because I've spent all this time since beating the game thinking about it. Did I understand half of what was going on? Vaguely, but it was beautiful, and heartfelt, and the world was interesting, and it satisfied the need I had to go outside and run my errands. Loved Cliff's character, and his plight as a father, how he carried it with him to the afterlife, and his speech to Sam is on loop constantly as a goosebumps generator. All the webs this story weaved came together and fray in such intriguing ways.

Detroit: Become Human (x2) - 5 stars These were my third and fourth playthroughs of this game and I find myself fonder for this little game each time I play. The perfect example of how a setting is so much deeper for the things it DOESN'T say than the things it does, once you think consider it. Under the cover of fun little robots, this world is so bleak, and I love the thought experiments. A very good example, imo, of what kind of tool cyberpunk really is as a setting. Quantic Dream also slips in one unanswered aspect into each of their stories, and while it's true that the ambiguity can be frustrating, Quantic Dream accidentally does it in a way that I find so alluring. Ra9, in this case, examining the clues on my own, coming to my own conclusions. It lets the world live on after the games have ended. I don't care about having answers--the game focused on what it needed to. It was not a portal into the greater world, it was one into Kara, Connor, and Marcus. We can look at the world on our own.

Disco Elysium - 4 stars Admittedly while this one took me a few months to finish, with a break spanning between November 2022 to March, and often found it VERY dense with information, I still really enjoyed myself. It's also the sort of narrative that is very self-aware, and as such pokes fun at itself, and as another such is sometimes lost under a few too many layers of irony and sarcasm. It's a bit hard sometimes to know what information to take seriously and what to disregard. As wonts these sorts of games the content is made entirely of dialog, very reading heavy, and puts me to sleep--I couldn't imagine playing this game without the stellar voice acting. Haunting and comedic sometimes even in the same line of dialog, I'm glad I found it after the Final Cut was released. Highly recommend, looking forward to another play-through.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - 4 stars I loved BotW from the moment I got my Switch on launch day. Interestingly with TotK, I found my high opinion slipping the more I played, and too afterward. It seems more and more to me that Nintendo isn't exactly as keyed into what people are looking for with Zelda as they thought. TotK comes complete with shallow villains and anime tropes and a bastardization of a fair bit of the work done in BotW. It is not a story that is aware of it's own narrative, characters, or concepts. I don't say this as a person who demands to know which timeline and where exactly it takes place, only as someone invested in the universe and hopes to have somethings meaningfully extrapolated on. I'm hungry for subversion. Won't get much of that with this game sadly. That said, where gameplay was concerned I still really enjoyed myself. Before release I was worried how they would fill a world I've already spent 300+ hours exploring, and it turned out the answers were 2 entirely new maps and a largely transformed overworld. Discovering the newness in a world I already knew so well was fantastical. The building mechanics were enchanting, the shrines legitimately challenging, and the world still fun to explore. Don't see myself replaying for quite a while though, if ever, which was also the case with BotW. EDIT: having read and heard of all the nightmares about this games development since I've played it, just have to say 😬 yikes dude. Really recontextualizes the story for me. Idk though the gameplay was still super fun, so where an overall rating is concerned, I'm a bit conflicted. I'll leave it where it is I guess but let the record show it's still a Yikes from me about certain things.

Heavy Rain - 3.5 stars So, in the driver's seat of this, I found myself not doing much else besides complaining. The controls on the PC port are horrible; the 'twist' was less that and more... dishonest; voice acting was rough; David Cage exists; etc. But idk dude!! Something about it was still as charming as the first time!! It's been just about 10 years since I first played it at release, and the nostalgia was strong. It was a perfect distraction from real life at the time, and I've always looked back on the game fondly, though I've never replayed it. There ARE functional things I do dislike about the plot and writing and the awful ending, which discounts its score to the 3.5 star rating, but idk yall. I find Norman dorky and lovable, flawed yet well-intentioned; Ethan is a desperate dad trying to correct mistakes he still can't reconcile with; even Scott's motivations are understandable. I, like one key character, cannot deny that seeing a dad do whatever it takes to save his son? I'll have what he's having.

Oxenfree - 3 stars One thing about me is I have a great hatred for time travel stories. They always inevitably fall short. Oxenfree however used what I believe are the true assets of the trope. The struggle of fate, predetermination, and how-could-anything-be-different. (I also believe a key function of time travel stories is the character's understanding that they aren't the first version of themselves caught in the loops but that's a different convo). Anyway the ambiguous ending was also a big win to me. All in all a fun little game. Give it a try if you want some low-stakes entertainment with a good story.

The Uncharted series - a mixed bag So this doesn't include Uncharted 1, which I played damn near a decade ago when I first got my PS4 and the Nathan Drake collection. My thoughts on that are hazy but one I remember vividly--fuck the ship level. Anyway I mark this as mixed bag because my feelings towards it are complicated. I still felt the essence of NaughtyDog throughout, their care for their characters and sympathetic storytelling. While not as morally gray as their TLoU stuff, and rated Teen, it was still compelling, and despite my intense grievances with the combat systems in 1-2-3, I never questioned whether I would continue with the next game. However. Those grievances. Holy shit. Snap-to-cover is NEVER the answer, game devs. I know and forgive that games 1-3 are over a decade old, developers have better tools and understanding now. See an example of my jimmies being rustled here:

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Take a shot each time a headshot doesn't hit. For gameplay reasons only I can't give the first 3 games any higher than 3 stars. And even though 3 has the best story of the 3, gameplay might even knock that one down to a 2. Anywho, the whiplash in quality between 3 and 4 was insane. I played the PS5 port, and loved everything about 4. Loved Sam, loved baby Nate, loved the story. It was as if ND had kept a .txt file of every single issue up till that point and corrected each of them. Seeing the bones of TLoU2 was also nice. Phenomenal game, and I look forward to playing it again sometime soon. Ratings for each game go: Uncharted 2 and 3 - 3 stars Uncharted 4 - 5 stars Uncharted: Lost Legacy - 4 stars Sadly I don't have the tools or plans to play the PSP game. PS Vita? Either way.

Last of Us Part 2 (x3) - 4 stars This was probably my 3rd time playing TLoU2, and while I don't have many strong comments to make concerning the story, I feel like this was finally the first time I truly understood Ellie's character in this game. The truth of her grief and what it was really over. And Abby as well, how she wasn't just a foil for Ellie, but for Joel as well. That said, I do still feel I would love this game so much more if it was just told linearly. The pacing is DOGshit dude, wow. Love it though. I've also completed a Grounded playthrough and got the Plat trophy this year as well, which I only mention for bragging rights 💅

Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice 🏆 - 5 stars I don't think I have much to say about this game besides general comments about how phenomenal the experience was. Never played anything like it. Fun exploration, environmental puzzles, great visuals. Combat was good, sound design was excellent. Story was good, acting was amazing. All around VERY thrilled I played.

Assassin’s Creed: Mirage 🏆 - 5 stars I GOTTA SAY, This game surprised the hell out of me. I’m on a journey to play all the Assassin’s Creed games; so far I’ve finished 8 out of ~18. For how badly Valhalla sucked ass I was hesitant to play this one, since it acts as a sort of prequel to a particular character, but DAMN if this didn’t completely surprise me. The world was incredibly fun to explore, and even included environmental puzzles. You will legitimately feel like an assassin with the amount of player freedom this game gives you, and the story was just as good. Best Assassin’s Creed game? 👀 Hard to say till I’ve finished them all but so far it’s absolutely a contender. Basim I love youuuuuu

Unmentioned, in alphabetical order: [Assassin's Creed 1 - 2.5 stars; Assassin's Creed 2 - 3.5 stars; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: China - 3 stars; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: India - 3.5; Assassin's Creed: Chronicles: Russia - 3.5 stars; Beyond: Two Souls - 3 stars; Ghost of Tsushima - 4 stars; Gone Home - 3 stars; Indigo Prophecy - 2 stars; It Takes Two - 3 stars; A Plague Tale: Innocence - 3.5 stars; The Quarry - 2.5 stars; SEASON - 3 stars; Spider-Man 2 (2023) 🏆 - 3 stars; Stray - 3.5 stars; Super Mario Wonder - 4 stars; Twin Mirror - 3 stars; Viewfinder - 3.5 stars; A Way Out - 3.5 stars; Where the Goats Are - 3 stars]

Starfield: Putting this one down here at the bottom so I don't start this list out with complaining lol. Anyway the fact this game was nominated for Best RPG at the game awards tells me they don't play some of the games they nominate lol. I don't think I've ever had an experience like this game gave me. I somehow played 30 hours, and had a great time, before realizing it was bad. Nothing happened in the story to stop me, there wasn't suddenly a new gameplay mechanic that I didn't agree with. There was just something in the glamour of those 30 hours that got me. Maybe it was the father figure referring to me with neutral pronouns. But anyway I guess I just came to my senses. I took a break to play something different, came back, and it was an entirely different game. The overworld is barren. They expect you to explore hundreds of plants that have nothing on them besides some minerals and animals you scan. These are laaaaarge swaths of time spent running back and forth in near silence, because not only is there next to nothing meaningful to interact with on these worlds, your companion repeats the same 5 quips the entire time. There are no tools to traversing the overworld more quickly, so you are running for thousands of kilometers so you can scan a useless monument and get 20XP. There is no incentive to exploring, there is no incentive to doing anything other than fast-traveling to your next destination--until the game stops you for not having the appropriate ship parts installed, and you realize it's going to be a 5 hour grind to upgrade that part. Looking back at those 30 hours I enjoyed, this was all still there, but idk man, idk. For this amount of content this should have only been a $30 game, MAX, and they sell it for $70. But I bought it for $70, so who is the real chump here. I think the only thing I truly enjoyed (besides Sam Coe) was the mission 'Entangled', where you are unwillingly forced between two alternate universes, due to an experiment in a research facility. It sits right on the cusp of horror, between one universe where the research facility exploded and nature took it back, and another where the explosion never happened. There is drama, intrigue, decisions, exploration, everything. Nothing else in the game came close at all to touching that and I'm mad I spent so long before realizing it. Who wrote this mission, so I can thank you?

Music (and the lyrics that make it)

My complete 2023 favorites Spotify playlist

Favorite albums: Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain Slut Pop by Kim Petras Guard Dog by Searows I Let It in and It Took Everything by Loathe Heavy Glow by Soulkeeper

Individual tracks and my favorite lyric: Master & A Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov 'Where were you when I was still kind?' Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain 'If it's meant to be then it will be.' Don't Keep Driving by The Paper Kites 'There's nothing wrong with a little space. But not right now; don't leave.' Honey Dripping Sky by Georgia 'No matter how hard we try, I won't deny--it's for you.' Coming Clean by Searows 'If I kill you would I have to forgive you still?' Francesca by Hozier 'I’d tell them put me back in it. [Darling,] I would do it again.'

TV and Movies

I am severely illiterate when it comes to movies so the goal this year was to have watched at least one movie a week. Did I succeed,Future Me? [Yeah!]

Kingsman: Secret Service and :Golden Circle - 5 and 4 stars The cinematography?? The choreography? Hello? Across both movies, they were all so incredible. While Secret Service was my favorite of the two, Golden Circle had my favorite fight (though the church scene is a clooooose second)(Pedro Pascal I love you):

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Gentlemen Bronco - 2 stars This movie was dull as shit BUT, it had one of my favorite scenes of the year.

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Knock at the Cabin - 3.5 stars Just wanna put this one here real quick to get the Worms out--what was the point? Narratively, what was the point? I have been rolling this movie around my head since I watched last night and I'm hoping to read the book soon for better context, but man. While I enjoyed this movie a lot I just do not follow the themes, more so considering the ending. Was it a fight against providence and predetermination, only to prove its own point? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (Mr. Spock)? I can't tell exactly what this movie was asking me. As a rule I generally don't enjoy stories where the psychos are proved right with no closer examination of the themes and circumstances. Like yeah the MCs being a gay couple framed the story differently but that is also just a side effect of having distinctive characters lmao. It also insulated some sacrificial-minority stuff? Weird. And asks no questions about fate or anything, which is a wild loop considering Andrew's previous history with Redmond (a red herring? However I feel if the intro of a red herring completely recontextualizes the larger possibilities of the world, then it's not a good red herring, it's lazy). Ultimately I understand a theme is save your family or save humanity--it's on the DVD cover lol. But yeah man idk. All the other stuff, it made for a weird soup that I just cannot decipher. Anyway. EDIT: I have since read the source novel and it was incredible. I will not be watching any more Shyamalan movies lmao

Pacific Rim - 5 stars I also don't have anything much deeper to say about this than gotTDAMN dude, what a good fucking movie. I decided to watch because of all the Pacific Rim AUs that take place in fandom, and I decided I finally needed to know why and I DO know why now because good lord. What a good movie. That said the sequel was a hot pile.

The Arrival - 3 stars The way this movie had my heart racing the entire time--and shat it all away at the immediate end. Pure whiplash. "You know what surprised me the most? It wasn't meeting them. It was meeting you." What kind of straight nonsense. What kind of anticlimactic. What kind of bullshit. I was immediately snapped to my senses, I'm not over exaggerating. Insanity.

Unmentioned, in alphabetical order: [After Yang - 4 stars; Assassin's Creed (2016) - 2 stars; Asteroid City - 4 stars; Barbie - 4 stars; Begotten (1990) - 2 stars; Bullet Train - 4 stars; Come and See (1985) - 3 stars; Dead Poets Society - 3 stars; El Dorado - 3 stars; Grave Encounters - 3 stars; The Green Knight - 4 stars; The Hateful Eight - 5 Stars; IT and IT: Chapter 2 - 4 stars; Jennifer's Body - 3 stars; King of the Hill (all 13 seasons) - episode determinate; Knives Out - 5 stars; Knives Out: Glass Onion - 2 stars; Labyrinth - 2 stars; Lady Bird - 3 stars; Lake Mungo - 3 stars; The Lighthouse - 3 stars; Mad Max: Fury Road - 3 stars; The Magnificent Seven (1960) - 4 stars; The Magnificent Seven (2016) - 3.5 stars; Martyr (2008) - 3 stars; Matrix - 3 stars; Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions - 1 star; The Menu - 4 stars; Midnight Mass - 4 stars; My Own Private Idaho - 3 stars; NOPE - 4 stars; Once Upon a Time in the West - DNF; Possum - 3 stars; The Power of the Dog - 3 stars; RE: Damnation, Death Island, Degeneration, Infinite Darkness, and Vendetta - 3 stars; Saltburn - 3.5 stars; Seven Samurai (1954) - 3 stars; The Shape of Water - 4.5 stars; Skinamarink - 3 stars; Star Trek: The Motion Picture - 2.5 stars; ST: Search for Spock and ST: Voyage Home - 4 stars; ST: The Wrath of Khan - 4.5 stars; The Thing (1982) - 3 stars; The Thing From Another World (1951) - 3 stars; Tideland (2005) - 2 stars; Unforgiven - 4 stars; The VVitch - 3 stars]

Favorite Books

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez - 5 stars I have never EVER in my life read a book like this one, and I urge everyone to give it a try. Two men must escort a dying god across the country in order to stop the control of her tyrannical children. If you aren't digging the book, at least try and make it 100 pages in. The beginning, like every chunky fantasy, is a bit of a tough learning experience, and the uniqueness of the prose didn't exactly make it an easier task. However, it makes it extremely lyrical and poetic, and intriguing. The entire package is mind-blowingly unique. AND it ends happily, if that makes you feel better.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers - 5 stars My thoughts on this little story aren't overly complex or anything, I just found the setting very nice, the B plot concerning Earth interesting, and the ambiguous ending intriguing. While the events might be a little harrowing it was the hopeful attitude of the prose and characters that made it very comforting nonetheless. I loved the experience while I was reading it, and think about the ending now, even all these months after reading.

The Sleeping Car Porter by Suzette Mayr - 4 stars A black sleep car porter tries to keep his job and his sanity after their train is stopped by a mudslide. Before this I can say I'd never read anything in this setting before, and it was what drew me in initially, but it was the writing that really captivated me. The narrative has a very intimate feeling, nostalgic almost, as if you're hearing the story secondhand even as you read. It's also refreshing when a book just says 'cock', and no extra-curricular euphemisms. Where's that video of Taron Egerton saying cock over and over btw cause I can't find it

The Magpie Coffin by Wile E Young - 4 stars The first in a collection of splatterpunk westerns?? It was so fun to read, and the cover is so badass. It knew what it was and it did so well.

In the Distance by Hernan Diaz - 4 stars A young Swedish boy, separated from his brother, fends for himself in the early USA west. I was on hold for this through my library for nearly a month and a half, so by the time I got it in my grubby hands my exciting was pretty high. Though I found much of it slow, I was still somehow on the edge of my seat. It's a crime that this was the Pulitzer runner-up, and that Less by Andrew Greer won instead. It's been a very very long time since I've felt so strongly about the well-being and outcome of a character but Hakan if you're out there--I love you.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - 5 stars

Nothing to add to this decade long conversation other than this holds up :’) I was gasping like I was in high school again, reading it for the first time.

Honorable mentions, in alphabetical order by author last name: [A Psalm for the Wild Built and A Prayer for the Crown Shy by Becky Chambers - 4 stars; How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix - 4 stars; Texas Outlaw by Richard Jessup - 4 stars; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - 4 stars; Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - 4 stars; Helpmeet by Naben Ruthnum - 4 stars; The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage - 4 stars; East of Eden by John Steinbeck - 5 stars; The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay - 4.5 stars]

LEAST Favorite Books

I'm nothing if not a hater so I wanted to give some space to the books I most disliked.

Less by Andrew Sean Greer - DNF SAUR upset that this won the Pulitzer prize of its year instead of In The Distance by Hernan Diaz. 100 pages into it and I could not find anything redeeming about the main character. Pretentious, bitter. Like maybe that was his arc? He would outgrow that maybe. But it was just not the book nor the characters for me, unfortunately, so I did not stick around long enough for that to happen.

Bath Haus by PJ Vernon - DNF WHEW boy was the writing in this one bad. Like yall ever read a queer book and just know it was written for straight people? Let me find a picture I took of one paragraph.

Yikes and a half, dude. Anyway

Meat by Joseph D'Lacey - 1 star This was just plain bad. Like 'Oh isn't it so crazy they're eating people?? They're treating people like cattle, that's so demented right??' No. Not really. There's cannibalism in the cannibalism genre? Get a grip. I live near Donner Pass, we got cannibalism in the water here. Although maybe I'm also partially to blame for expecting some deeper storytelling from splatterpunk.

The Troop by Nick Cutter - 2 stars I don't know that I have anything really critical to say about this book other than I just didn't enjoy it. Writing was fine, prose was fine. It's told a bit out of order, think Carrie by Stephen King--snippets of interviews and articles detailing the aftermath of the events of the book. I do remember thinking that the facts were contradicting themselves a few times but was really not invested enough to care too deeply. The isolated, abandoned feeling we get from the island was nice, and the atmosphere good, I just don't believe Nick Cutter is a good writer. A bit too many slurs in here as well, methinks.

Books I DNF'd: With 15 in total this was the year of DNFing for me; it's amazing was Prozac can do for a person. (Disclaimer: I've only listed 13 of them here. The other two had to go back to the library before I could finish them so I marked them as technical DNFs :( and it doesn't feel right to include them in this list for haters)

Bath Haus by PJ Vernon (explained above) The Singularities by John Banville (nothing offensive, just didn't vibe. Books will often try way too hard on the opening paragraph and I'm not here for a philosophy lesson as I crack open a book you know what I mean) Heartless by Marissa Meyer (I just don't think YA does it for me anymore) There's Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins (" ") If We Were Villains by ML Rio (I just don't like being lectured and this book was clearly written for someone who wasn't me lol) Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter (I find that a lot of times thrillers written by women employ stereotypes against men and their 'perverse' sexual tastes. The lines between pornography/fantasy and reality don't seem as nuanced in this genre, unfortunately. A man is not immediately a villain because he enjoys CNC or roleplay, and the pearl clutching is a little tired) Campfire Cooking in Another World by Ren Eguchi (why is every light novel like this:

The Lies of Locke Lamore by Scott Lynch (this was too quippy for my tastes. It was a little too busy being clever and not busy enough being interesting.) Less by Andrew Greer (Mean Gays, the next Tina Fay movie) Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey (just wasn't my cuppa) Riders of the Purple Sage by Zane Grey (I read a review that counted how many times Zane Grey used 'sage' in this book. I don't remember the number but there was a lot of them. Too much mormanism going on, just wasn't my cuppa) The Cold Dish by Craig Johnson (only alright, not bad but wasn't going anywhere fast. More of a character focused, soft bit of mystery, which was fine, I just didn't find myself enjoying the characters either) Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett (I just wasn’t vibing you know how it is)

2023 Reading Statistics

I also keep a track of the pages read and ratings, as well as genre, where I read the book and in what format, so I'll put that here too for posterity's sake. And If you'd like, I use GoodReads, and we can be friends!

62 books read 18,217 pages in total 3.25 average star rating 19 (30.6%) of the books read were owned; 43 (69.4%)(nice) were from the library 14 (75.8%) were physical books; 12 (19.4%) were ebooks; 3 (4.8%) were audiobooks

That's it! I don't make reading goals anymore, in terms of how many to read, but I do know I want to TRY and read the copy of Battle Royal I've had since my junior year of high school. And I'd like to try and finish the Tsubasa manga series, since I never made it past volume 15 I think. I can't think of anything other than that! It was a good year!

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kaiba-cave · 1 year ago

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I haven't finished a single playthrough of BG3 yet but I've already made four characters lmaoooo. Except the last one I deleted.

My first Tav who I'm currently on Act 3 with started out a sorcerer and eventually I re-classed to a paladin, accidentally broke my oath though.

Second one I named Rhaena (after my cat of course), a druid half-elf that I'm trying to play as chaotic neutral. (Re-classed Astarion to a bard and Lae'zel to a monk in this save.)

The third is my Dark Urge character, Mila. Tiefling ranger. Haven't done anything but escape the nautiloid in that save.

The last one was a Lolth-Sworn drow but I deleted her save because I wasn't going to play it. Still think she was gorgeous though, wish we could save characters to re-use them.

Anyways I love this game.

#bg3 #i actually don't like the bg3 character creator that much #but that won't stop me #text

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genork-the-fandork · 2 years ago

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Doubt

Word Count: 806

Prompt: "Moral & Wrathful & Harmony"

Featured Characters: Aoi Shibuya & Labramon

A/N: I did struggle a little bit coming up with this one (I say as if it wasn't the third idea I had). I knew I wanted to write about Aoi, but I also knew I didn't want to be... derivative? Contrived? I didn't want to do her dirty. I had the pleasure of reading through @shihalyfie 's meta about the Survive cast, and everything about Aoi really stuck. I haven't had a Survive session in a few weeks, but when I think of it, I think of the interesting take on Aoi I read. So I thought I'd combine what my initial impression of her with what seems to be the true heart of her character. This might not have gone too well, as I still haven't finished my first playthrough, but I sincerely wanted to try for her. It's the least Aoi and Labramon deserve. (So apologies ahead of time. This also isn't necessarily spoiler-y, but here's a warning for those who haven't gotten to Part 5 on their first playthrough yet. I mostly used this particular fic as a "foreshadow" or foreboding of everything that could possibly go wrong... i.e. the different routes, haha.)

@surviveweek

Everything was crashing down around her. She just refused to acknowledge it. Not out loud at least. She needed to appear strong for the others. It was what they expected of her. It was what they needed from her. Really, all she wanted to do was break down.

It had to be out of sight of the others. She couldn't let Takuma or Minoru know what was happening. Of course she considered them her friends—they were the first ones she encountered in this world, and the ones she was with on the camping trip that led them to this in the first place. But more than anything, she didn't want their image of her to be tainted. She had to stay strong, be the class president everyone expected her to be—

God, she was so weak.

"Aoi?" That was Labramon's whine. Aoi turned and mustered the ghost of a smile on her face as she met her partner's eyes. "Aoi, what's wrong? Please tell me."

"It's nothing." Aoi lifted her hand under her eyes to make sure she wasn't crying. Good. She had allowed herself a few tears earlier, out of grief for what poor Shuuji and Lopmon had gone through. Not to mention Ryo and Kunemon. Just how many people would they lose before they got home? Would they ever get home? To think, they'd been filled with so much hope when Jijimon had told them it had happened before. And then it all went downhill.

Deep, deep down, she was a little bit mad at Shuuji. He left her the oldest one in the group, now that he was gone. Sure, everyone defaulted to Takuma more often than they had to him, but at least with Shuuji around, the pressure of the oldest wasn't on her shoulders. She could pretend that they weren't expecting her to take care of them. Pretend, pretend, pretend. Sometimes, that seemed to be all that she did.

"You seem so sad, Aoi," Labramon insisted, nuzzling her head against Aoi's leg. "Please, don't be. I want to see you smile again."

"After what we saw, Labramon, that may… take a while." Aoi lowered herself to the ground, pulling Labramon into her arms. She couldn't put her finger on why, or how, but Labramon was such an immense comfort t oher. It was like having a manifestation of the part of her she didn't want others to see. And it was so soothing, too, to have that side of her validated through Labramon. "Thank you for checking on me."

"As long as I'm here, you'll never be alone, Aoi!" Labramon nosed her cheek—one of many dog-like gestures Aoi and the others had grown accustomed to. "I'm sure we'll get through this together."

Aoi nodded, but something was still gnawing at her. "Labramon… I have this awful feeling. I feel like something terrible is going to happen again. I… I really don't want to watch anyone else die."

"Oh, Aoi." Labramon's sad face reflected Aoi's as they sat there, embracing. Aoi wasn't sure she wanted any comforts her partner could offer; nothing would make this horrible feeling go away. She had the sense that Labramon already knew that. "We'll figure this out somehow."

"I hope so." Aoi sighed, releasing some of the pent-up tension that had been sitting in her chest for the past few hours. "I just… I want to make sure everyone is alright. I'd hate to see what happened to Ryo or Shuuji happen again to one of them."

"The others are strong, Aoi." Labramon nodded confidently, which made Aoi smile. "I'm sure they can handle whatever comes our way next. You can rely on me, and the others can rely on you!"

Aoi's smile wavered at that last point. "I know I can rely on you, Labramon. I just hope that everyone really can rely on me."

"Of course they can! You're amazing, Aoi! I'm sure you're the greatest friend any of them have ever had!" Labramon grinned, made even cuter by the little fangs sticking out of her mouth. "Even Takuma seems to think you're great!"

Now that did warm her heart a little bit. Aoi let out another breath that had been pent-up inside her with all the negative emotion boiling in her heart. "Thank you, Labramon. That really helps."

Labramon wagged her tail and nuzzled into Aoi again, proud of herself for helping her partner. And, really, Aoi was proud of her, too. Not just anyone could break through all the doubts and resentments she held in her heart. Maybe she did have an awful feeling about whatever was going to come next for all of them. But she had a feeling that no matter what came their way, she would have Labramon by her side through it all. Nothing was going to change that.

#digimon #digimon survive week #survive week #digimon survive #gen writes #digimon drabble #aoi shibuya #labramon

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