#and I really have never understood why people always seem to feel called out simply when I say I don't like those jokes

[charles-leclerc-official]

You talk so much about people calling the sf24 a tractor but you do the same with the rb20 exaggerating the issues etc

I didn't call the RB20 a tractor. My issue is I just don't think the farm tool analogies are funny for a car that's won races. You're free to disagree.

And I stand by my critique of the RB20. I end up having to defend the SF-24 more simply because people love to specifically shit on the Ferrari car the moment it isn't perfect.

[strzlun]

TRAP

// park sunghoon //

pairing: player!sunghoon x quiet!femreader

word count- 3.6k

genre/cws- fluff, slight angst, falling in love, confessions, he fell first and harder, sunghoon grows a soft spot for reader, sunghoon becomes a changed man, reader is done with sunghoon

summary-Sunghoon didn’t realize he fell into his own trap until it was too late and he was falling in love

________________________________________________________

Sunghoon and you were the picture perfect polar opposites. He had people lined up trying to fulfill their deep desire of even getting a sliver of a chance with him.

And he thrived in this. He knew the sheer power he held so he always used it to his advantage. Everyone knew Park Sunghoon’s name like a chant and you never understood why people would crumble to his feet.

He lived a world that you wished to never get involved with.

Yet what made your world slow down is hearing his name called alongside yours.

Before you could even register what was happening, you could hear the painful drag of the chair next to you as you slowly turn to be met with the one and only, Park Sunghoon.

The infamous smile plastered on his face as his body was faced towards you. He had this demeanor that you were undeniably drawn to but forced yourself out of that daze.

“Guess we’re partners” The moment he spoke, all eyes were on you

You awkwardly nodded your head as you tried to ignore the stares burning into your entire existence and focus in front of you.

You knew there were people that would kill to be in your spot, and truthfully speaking you had no problem switching.

When Sunghoon who was waiting for some type of reaction from you received nothing, he raised an eyebrow, confused but assumed you were simply trying to comprehend how he was in front of you.

“No need to freak out or anything, it’s really me-“ Before he could even finish he sentence you raised a hand to stop him

Normally, you wouldn’t waste time even speaking to people like Sunghoon. There was no point, neither ever crossed paths before nor have you even acknowledged each other’s existence.

But now you had to bear with him until the end of the project if you wanted a good grade.

When you gave no response after shutting Sunghoon up, he could feel the embarrassment rising which was rare (a big lie).

“I look forward to working with you. I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about you” He tried to catch your attention as you seemed to focus on the lesson rather than on him

He gave a slight frown but wiped it off before having a smirk plaster onto his face. He could feel the excitement coursing through his mind and he knew exactly what it meant.

When the lesson was done, he turned expecting to see you beside him but to his shock you were already out of the classroom. He grumbled and quickly went after you.

What you thought was finally peace and no lurking eyes on you turned to ruckus around you when Sunghoon suddenly appeared next to you.

His mouth whispered right into your ear and you immediately jerked yourself away in confusion. He gave a warm smile and grabbed your bag from you to hold it.

“You walk so fast, it was hard to catch up to you” He joked and the look you gave him must’ve shown your discomfort because he awkwardly cleared his throat

You tried to grab your bag from him but before you could reach it, he moved his body and you almost lost your balance.

He was quick to catch you to make sure you didn’t fall (you were never going to fall in the first place).

You stared at him as he gave another smile but you quickly pushed him away and grabbed your bag from him before huffing out a sigh and walking away.

Of course you knew who Park Sunghoon is, but that also meant you knew the reputation surrounding him. He had people lined up for him for a reason and you weren’t going to allow yourself to fall for his trap.

As you were walking you were going to pull out your phone from your bag, but the moment you did a piece of paper fell out as well.

You tilted your head confused before reaching to pick it up soon your mouth was agape when you saw the written phone number on it.

‘My number -p.sh’

Now you didn’t want to text Sunghoon, especially with the way that he had given his number. It felt like he was treating you as someone who simply wanted to get the attention of being involved with him.

You knew deep down that was far from the truth but you had to swallow your pride for a moment as you typed his number in for a contact.

Sunghoon was in bed, lazily resting an arm over his eyes as he could feel the drowsiness take over. But right when he was going to shut his eyes, his phone pinged from a notification.

Normally, he would ignore it and deal with it whenever he had the energy to but something in him told him to check it.

He groaned before grabbing his phone seeing just who decided to text him so late at night.

He saw an unsaved number but the message attached to it made him shoot up from his bed with a slight smirk forming on his face.

: Let’s meet tomorrow to start the project

“Over here!” Sunghoon waved once he saw you, the people passing gave a weird look to him before going their way

You observed how he never truly cared about the public’s opinion on him. He knew that there would be people that praise him and people that despise him, nothing you could do about it.

But now that you were assigned a project with him you knew from the very start what it came with. You didn’t enjoy being the center of attention and having him lingering around you was quite troublesome.

“How was your morning?” He asked sweetly but you believed you saw right through it and simply ignored his question

He was taken aback from the lack of response but he nodded his head, realizing that it would take a lot more for him to slither his way into your heart.

“Let’s head in shall we?” Sunghoon opened the door for you and with the faintest ‘thank you’, he was already grinning like an idiot

He was sure that you would get caught up by him soon or later, it was only a matter of strategic timing and planning to get the job done.

“So what’s your favorite movie?” Sunghoon tried to garner your attention but you didn’t give him any, he sighed heavily after being rejected for the twentieth time

He was growing tiresome trying to get your attention on something that wasn’t something for the project.

“Uhm so what’s your favorite-“

“I heard you the first time, I am just choosing to ignore you” You finally put your pen down before looking at him which caught him off guard

He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, not expecting that (or any) reaction. The two stared at each other for a moment and for the first time ever, Sunghoon was the one to shift his gaze away.

“Let’s continue working” You softly said before picking up your pen again but as he tried to recover from the lost of the staring contest he sighed heavily

“Why don’t we take a break for now, my hand hurts from all the writing” You glanced over to Sunghoon’s paper, only to see he had only written his name on it

You glared towards him and he gave a cheeky smile which he thought would make you smile at least but nothing. You kept your stoic expression, unamused by his attempt to make you smile (you found it humorous that he failed instead).

“Is this why you’re failing the class?” Sunghoon choked on air and coughed loudly hearing your response

“How do you know that?” Sunghoon loudly whispered as he looked around making sure no one heard your remark

“You always complain about your grade in class” You stated and he sighed before embarrassingly looking away but suddenly an idea popped in his head

“So you’re paying attention to me?” He raised an eyebrow to you teasingly

“It’s hard not to when you’re so loud about it” Sunghoon’s world alongside his ego shattered hearing your rebuttal to his attempt to tease you

This is not how he planned this day to go.

Sunghoon cleared his throat loudly before picking up his pen and taking glances at his laptop before writing on the piece of paper, wishing to simply disintegrate into the universe.

You noticed his reaction and you were glad he was working but you felt bad, you didn’t mean to come off as rude, it’s just what you observed from him.

You itched to apologize, your mouth opening every now and then but nothing came out. You sighed before continuing to write on your paper, an awkward silence resting over the two of you.

“I’ll walk you home” You didn’t expect for Sunghoon to offer this especially when the rest of the evening was pure silence between the two of you

You were going to deny Sunghoon’s offer but he was quick to gather your bag along with his.

Another thing that you observed about Sunghoon was that he was stubborn but troublesome for him you were also stubborn.

“It’s okay I can make it home by myself” You tried to grab your bag from him but he was already walking away with it

If this is what Sunghoon thought could win you over, he is mistaken. You sighed annoyed but decided to not put up a fight, you were tired and just wanted to get home as quickly as possible.

As you and Sunghoon were walking to your place he tried to make small talk with you. You wanted to walk in silence but he was determined to have a decent conversation with you.

The talks were brief but you realized that there a slight shift in Sunghoon’s demeanor. It was more relaxed and gentle and maybe even a little genuine. A side you’ve never seen before from him.

But you reminded yourself this could easily be one of his antics to have you wrapped in his fingers. But before you knew it, you were already at your front doorstep.

“Thank you for walking me home” Sunghoon easily waved it off as nothing

“Also I’m sorry if what I said earlier come off as rude, it wasn’t my intention”

“Goodnight” After you finally apologized, you entered your place and closed the door behind you before he could even respond

Sunghoon stood surprised for a moment before softly letting out a genuine chuckle.

You heard a ping from your phone and when you looked at it, you found yourself letting out the smallest smile ever.

Sunghoon: It’s okay you weren’t wrong. Goodnight to you as well

From when you stepped foot onto campus, all eyes were on you again. You tried to remind yourself that this was only temporarily and soon you could go back to your old lifestyle without Sunghoon in your life.

But that moment wasn’t now because you suddenly felt a poke to your head and when you turned, you were met with Sunghoon’s cheeky smile.

“Let’s walk together” He hummed, you sighed realizing that he really wasn’t going down without a fight so you weren’t going to put up one

You nodded your head as you waited for him to catch up to you. Sunghoon smiled realizing that you’re starting to warm up to him even if it is a tiny bit.

You: Where are you?

You: We said we were meeting today to finish

You sighed as time passed by and there was no sign of Sunghoon. You scoffed to yourself realizing he left you stranded.

What did you expect, he probably left all the work for you to ensure that he can pass. You scoffed as you placed your head into yours hands before groaning loudly.

Having to do the project by yourself wasn’t something foreign to you, but you were still annoyed.

You had to pick up on his slack. You weren’t going to allow someone like Sunghoon to taint your grade because of careless actions.

You were disappointed would be an understatement. You assumed the least he could do is give you a heads up if he isn’t able to make it, but it seemed you hoped too much for the impossible.

Hours passed by and you were still engrossed in the project trying to complete it, you could feel the pure exhaustion catching up but you needed to push through.

“Bye Sunghoon” The teasing tone had a faint smirk form on Sunghoon’s face whilst waving goodbye

He pulled out his phone and saw the time, 3 am, he sighed knowing he was going to get a good nights rest the moment he landed on his bed.

He placed his phone back into his pocket and right when he turned, there he saw you through a window.

You were yet to see him but he saw how you yawned and tiredly rested your head on your arm as a pillow and closed your eyes.

That’s when it finally clicked in Sunghoon’s mind. He was supposed to meet up with you today to finish the project. He cursed at himself before entering the place you were in.

He quickly made his way over to you but you were already fast asleep. He saw your laptop open with paper scattered around.

He got too distracted that he forgot he was meeting up with you today and he knew all efforts of trying to get you warming up to him now went out the window.

He wasn’t one to care about how people perceived him but you must’ve thought he’s even more of a jerk than what you already thought he was.

Sunghoon made sure to be quiet to not disturb your sleep as he carefully sat next to you before grabbing your laptop.

He scrolled and saw that you were practically almost done with the project. The guilt that rested in stomach grew even more and began to eat him up, you picked up his slack because of his ignorance.

Sunghoon knew you wouldn’t easily forgive him and he doesn’t blame you. But the least he could do is let you sleep while he takes care of the rest.

He carefully draped his jacket over you as he noticed you were directly under an air vent. He looked for a split second longer than what he wanted to, you looked so peaceful when sleeping.

He found a faint smile growing but stopped to bring himself back to focus on finishing the project.

He grabbed a spare sticky note and a few moments later placed it next to your mousepad, before starting to type into your laptop.

Your eyes fluttered opened as you could feel a bright light hitting your face. You used your hand to cover the sunlight but noticed a jacket draped over you and you froze.

You hazily looked around and you jumped when you noticed Sunghoon asleep next to you with your laptop in front of him. You quickly grabbed your laptop to see what he had done but to your surprise you saw the project was completely finished and revised.

You don’t know when you fell asleep, let alone when he even arrived so you were shocked to wake up next to him.

You were pleased that at least the project was done, however your gaze soon caught the sticky note stuck near your mousepad.

‘I know this is the weakest way to apologize, but I am really sorry for leaving you hanging.

Rest well, I’ll take care of everything else’

You shifted your gaze onto Sunghoon but what you didn’t expect was for him to be looking at you back. Normally you would’ve reverted your eyes away but you were in some trance, an extra flutter in your heart made you realize you were falling.

But you weren’t the only one. With the sunrise setting upon you and the look you were giving him, Sunghoon found himself in utter awe of you as his heart fluttered against his chest.

That was something new.

Now Sunghoonn was wide awake in bed with you haunting his mind, he doesn’t get it. The project was long done and no matter how much he tried to distract himself, he always found his mind drifting off to you.

He didn’t have a guilty conscience anymore, you made it very clear that you had forgiven him (after much apologies) so why could he only think about you.

You and him would even text quite often (he’s the one always texting first) but even still that wasn’t enough to quench his unexplainable desire.

He doesn’t know what was taking over him, it was like he’s flipped. He was leaving his old habits behind, deciding to hit the gym more often, barely going out the way he used to, he even started to pay attention in lessons and participate in activities.

And anytime he did anything, he felt an urge to text you and let you know what he has been up to. There were times where he did text you but then there were times when he held back.

Tonight was not one of those nights, he decided to give in to the burning desire that desperately needed to get extinguished.

Sunghoon: You awake?

He impatiently watched, hoping for your response and he immediately piked when his phone pinged.

You: Why?

Sunghoon found himself smiling dumbfounded at your message, in that moment his smile slightly faltered as the realization hit him like a bucket of cold water.

Now he finally realized what the desire that burns in him meant.

Now you didn’t expect to see Sunghoon at your front doorstep, especially to catch him mid pep talk. He froze when he heard your door open and the two stared at each other for a moment before he straightened out his posture.

He awkwardly coughed at the silence, all thoughts and rationality he prepared went out the window as he just stared at you with wide eyes.

“Uh what are you doing here?” You asked him and his mind immediately went on overdrive

He continued to stay silent and stare at you. You looked around for a moment before softly nodding your head.

“Do you want to-“ Before you could even finish, Sunghoon easily cut you off

“I like you” That was more straightforward than he intended to say but he’s never confessed before, he’s new to this

You stared at Sunghoon flustered with his sudden confession, does he actually like you or is he toying with your feelings until he gets bored and moves on.

“I know this is out of nowhere and you have every right to question my intentions” He was aware of the reputation he made for himself but he was really praying it doesn’t affect him now

“But I promise you wholeheartedly that I am genuine about my words and my feelings, I really do like you”

“I’m not sure when I started to like you, but you started to consume every crevice in my mind. Everything that I did, I wondered what you would say about it”

“It was actually driving me insane because I never and I mean it ever felt that way before and I can’t lie I was nervous at first”

“I thought you would’ve brush me off after the project, that’s why I kept texting you. Something in me needed to know if there could be a possible us”

“This burning desire wouldn’t let me go from its grasp and the only way I figured to subside it was to tell you how I truly felt” Sunghoon finished his small rant and let out a heavy pant before nervously looking to see your reaction

You stared at him wide eyed as you proceed the information. The pounding of your heart clearly indicated something and you knew that very well.

With each passing second of no response from you, the more it kills him slowly.

“You like me?” Your voice was soft and this melted right through Sunghoon, how he underestimated the hold you had on him

He softly nodded his head and your heart finally exploded. All the times when your fingers fidgeted over your keyboard wanting to text him and he somehow read your mind and texted you first.

But there was a thought lingering at the back of your head. What if he was just saying this to get you to fall into the trap you couldn’t escape from.

“How come you didn’t fall for someone else?” It was too late for your mind to register that you accidentally voiced out your thought

You stumbled over your words trying to take back what you said and Sunghoon found it amusing, he made his way over to you. The loopy smile he had as he brought his mouth to your ear, his breath feathered over your ear making your body shiver.

“Because I am too busy being yours” Sunghoon whispered and those words sent a shock throughout your whole body

“Is this you crawling to me Sunghoon?” You teased and he chuckled at you response but nodded his head before facing back to you

“If you allow me, I’ll crawl back to you as many times as I have to in order to prove my feelings to you”

“Never thought, I would be the one to hear those words from you”

“Special words for a special person” Your smile began to grow and you couldn’t hold it back any longer

Seeing your smile made Sunghoon weak in his knees that he knew he had to make you smile every single day. You had Park Sunghoon wrapped around your fingers and neither expected the tables to turn.

The trap that Sunghoon had intended to have you fall into now consumed him instead of you. But truthfully speaking, he didn’t mind it because deep down he unconsciously knew he was yours from the start.

“Will you allow me take you out on a date? Promise I’ll be there maybe even before you”

[loganwritesprobably]

Chronic Pain

Content/Warnings: Crocodile/GN!Reader, pre-slash, Reader has chronic pain, Reader is a Buggy pirate

Notes: This is very self indulgent but hopefully people will enjoy

It was hard sometimes, life as a pirate. Even now that you were grounded, on land 90% of the time at Karai Bari, it was hard. The difference between being at sea and being on land was minimal when it came to you, you even still slept in a hammock.

You were a Buggy pirate at heart and you always would be, but since Crocodile had arrived you'd grown increasingly close. He'd decided you were the "least incompetent" amongst the crew and so when he needed a task to be completed that either couldn't be done by Daz or he'd be "wasted" on it, he sought you out to complete it instead. You didn't mind so much. Manual labour work had always been hard for you and while Buggy understood you did feel useless, and often that meant you overworked yourself and caused yourself more harm than necessary. Work for Crocodile was rarely of that nature.

Delivering letters, collecting the paper from the news coo, reading paperwork and contracts for him, confirming kills of marines, posting new bounties - they were less straining. But, some days there was nothing he needed you for, and so you'd default back to your Captain's side and do what he needed.

Yesterday had been like that. You'd found the crew working hard, asked where you needed, and you simply joined them. First was moving a new shipment from the docks to the big top, then was transporting some of the new shipment to different areas of the island, then erecting a new tent, then moving old and broken materials to another part of the island for disposal. It'd been a lot of heavy lifting and walking, which was awful for your joints, but you'd gotten on with the work despite the discomfort.

Today, you were in awful pain. You'd managed to make it to breakfast with a grimace on your face and a small limp, and the crew had been worried. You'd intended to ignore it, until Cabaji snitched on you to Buggy, who sent you back to bed to rest. He'd scolded you, but he'd done it gently and with concern. He struggled with pain too, and yet he never seemed to stop, so you'd called him a hypocrite under your breath before retreating to your hammock to take a nap. You'd been tired anyway.

You were woken again not even an hour later by Crocodile himself, who had apparently been looking for you to get some work done for him. Daz Bones was elsewhere, and so he'd had to find you personally.

"Sir?" You asked, rubbing a hand over your face with a yawn. You enjoyed the short few moments of bliss before your pain kicked in again.

"Why are you still sleeping?" He asked harshly, and you sat up slowly, brows furrowed as you concentrated on not falling while trying to ignore your pain.

"Sorry sir. Captain Buggy sent me back to bed this morning to rest, but I can be ready in ten minutes if I'm needed." You replied, ready to do whatever was needed. You liked Crocodile a lot, more than you probably should, you were only too happy to assist him.

"Why the hell would he do that?" Crocodile questioned with a sneer, looking you up and down as if scanning for injuries.

"I have chronic pain, sir. I overworked myself yesterday and woke this morning in more pain than usual. But, I'm prepared to work if you need me." You wanted to be honest, because you didn't doubt that Crocodile would be able to identify a lie immediately, but you also didn't want to lose his favour. Those quiet afternoons you spent together both doing paperwork had a special place in your heart. Crocodile regarded you for a long moment, considering his next steps. All you could do was sit and not wither under his gaze.

"I understand the feeling," he said after a moment, words clipped as if he didn't really want to be talking about it, "don't push yourself so hard. I'll speak with Buggy about having you work with me full time, doing less strenuous things." Crocodile nodded once he was done, mostly to himself, pleased with the course of action.

"Whatever you'd like, sir. I'm happy to help." You replied, and you were in fact only took happy to do what he'd suggested. You could see the way Crocodile chewed the inside of his cheek with uncertainty for a moment, a side effect of not having a cigar in his mouth, and then he shook his head and returned to himself.

"Yes, well. Rest today, captain's orders, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow." And then he turned and left before you could respond or argue.

You had a lot of mornings with Crocodile in your future, it would appear.

Requests are open! See below links for my other works, and how to leave requests. I write both canon/canon and canon/reader requests for your enjoyment

AO3 | Fanfic Masterlist | Request Rules | Fic Trades Guide | WIPs

Tags: @claryeverlarkf

[yourheart-inmyhands]

I really like your writing. It gives me strength to continue living. Thank you!! Can I request Yandere! Pantalone Zhongli Neuvi Ayato with Tsundere Reader👉👈

i cannot confirm or deny whether or not i fully understood this. for clarification, i know what a tsundere is and even googled it to be double sursies, but i have never written about a tsundere before so i don't know how good this is, sorrryyyy ;v;

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, like obsessive behaviors, intentional setting off of reader, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Pantalone would be so confused and irked. He doesn’t understand it, he doesn’t understand you. You’re so cold and off-putting at times and other times you’re a fumbling, blushing mess. He’s confused as to why you seem to flip between the two so fervently, he tries his best to understand it but all the mora in Teyvat still couldn’t help him figure it out.

Pantalone and you sit, silently eating dinner in his office. It’s a typical night with nothing but the company between you two. “Here, try this.” Pantalone uses his fork to pick up a bite of his food, something he had been served but that you had initially passed on. He smiles softly at the faint blush that settles onto your cheeks, brushing over the soft skin. When he points out how he adores it though it only darkens as you scowl at him. Even if he doesn’t understand the sudden switch, he still brings to light that he finds your pout even cuter, launching you into a spiral of angry words.

Yandere!Zhongli is a little baffled at first but seems to quickly pick up on what things cause that subtle shift in your behavior. He often does things intentionally to make you ‘upset’ , finding you to be quite humorous and adorable. 

Zhongli couldn’t help but smile as you ranted and raved about a comment of his, your balled fist lightly tapping his chest as you pretended to strike him. When a chuckle arose he had to bring his hand up to politely cover his mouth, his teeth sinking into his tongue to prevent the escape of the noise. You were simply too cute, it was impossible for him to not make little comments that he knew would set you off. It was never anything harsh, he could never hurt your feelings like that, but he still knew which phrases worked best against you. And until you no longer seemed affected by them, he’d continue to use them.

Yandere!Neuvillette is entirely perplexed. His understanding of human behavior is limited to what he’s observed over the years from his position in the court and what he’s learned from stories the melusines tell him. He tries asking you about it every time only to never receive an answer, he’s even asked other people if your behavior is normal and all they can seem to reply with is that you’ve always been that way.

To say Neuvillette was confused would be an understatement, he simply could not wrap his head around any part of you. He couldn’t even ask what made you act so mean sometimes cause you’d get upset and say you weren’t being mean! Asking around to the townsfolk didn’t aid much in his pursuit of understanding either, people just seemed to know only that you’ve always been like that. Neuvillette is nothing but determined to understand what makes you, you though, so you can rest assured nothing you say will deter him from you.

Yandere!Ayato finds it rather amusing, often calling you into his office whilst he’s working so that he can see your pouty face as he teases you. The faint blush crawling across your skin makes your true feelings evident though, even still he knows when enough is enough.

Ayato smiled amusedly as he watched you rant and rave in front of his desk. Today was another day where he had called you forth to fluster you, you don’t know why you still came at this point! Your pout, crossed arms, and sudden attitude only makes things more amusing, with Ayato resting his elbows on his desk, hands intertwined beneath his chin to support his head. His eyes never leave you as he listens with intent, knowing that even if it’s just senseless rambles about how ludicrous his behavior is, it’s still you speaking to him and he’ll always listen.

[milkywaygalaxygurl]

In Another Life - Finnick Odair

oh lord i did not mean for this fic to end so sadly and turn out so angsty, but i simply don’t think they’d ever truly get a happy ending in this situation no matter how much i wish they could:’) i really hope y’all like this

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Female!Reader

Warnings: finnick is possibly ooc?, talk of sexual trauma, talk of finnick’s past, y/n also has a bad past, probably cursing, so much angst and there is not a happy ending

Word Count: 2.37k

Description: (i suck at descriptions i’m sorry if this sucks lol) Finnick meets Y/N and thinks she’ll be just like everyone else, vying to get her hands on him and use him just like all the others. So, he puts on his ever charming smile and flirtatious personality. Y/N isn’t into his advances and walks away. They eventually discover that they’re more similar than they think, forming a friendship and eventually falling in love.

Being a young girl from the Capitol, you were no stranger to the evil that lived within the rooms of fancy homes and danced at extravagant parties. You weren’t clueless about the hands that never seemed to know boundaries, about the voices that spoke far too loudly and confidently about vile things. You had always seen it, always known about it. It wasn’t until the age of 14 when you became acutely aware of it. It was a memory you didn’t like to dwell on, but it did haunt you.

Finnick was a stranger to these “secrets” that lived within the Capitol walls before he won his games. He naively believed that all burdens, all hardships, were left behind the moment he left the districts and won his games. It wasn’t until the first time it happened that he realized he was wrong. In that moment, Finnick promised himself that he’d never be so naive again. He learned to realize who wanted to use him, taught himself to plaster on a fake smile and offer himself up on a silver platter because it made him feel as if he had some semblance of a choice about the things being done to him.

You didn’t meet Finnick until you were nearly 20 years old. By then you had learned to spot the eyes that seemed to linger for too long and hands that were eager to grab. You had also learned to fight back, you didn’t care of the repercussions and the way you were ostracized because of it. You were finally untouchable, even if it was at the cost of your reputation. You were standing along the wall at yet another fancy dinner party, one your parents had dragged you to because “You need to at least try to salvage your reputation, Y/N!”

Finnick had stumbled out of a hallway, fixing his hair and straightening his clothes, when you first saw him. You knew of Finnick, knew of his lovers that he’d seemed to have an abundance of every single time he visited the Capitol. You didn’t mean to stare at him for so long, you truly hadn’t, but even you could admit that it was hard to look away from him. You understood why everyone called him the Capitol’s pretty boy. Your staring had caused him to notice you, to plaster on a grin as he approached where you stood.

Finnick thought you were beautiful, breathtaking even, but the second he saw the way your eyes lingered he knew you would be just like the rest of the twisted people inside this house. Maybe you were interested in getting your hands on him tonight and though you couldn’t offer any valuable secrets like the woman he left in the other room, at least you were prettier than most of the women he’d allowed to use him. He made his way to you, ready to put on the show everyone loved to watch.

“I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” His voice is sultry, his eyes raking your body. As he looks into your eyes, he feels a split second of familiarity before your expression switches to one of disgust. He can’t quite seem to place why your eyes seem familiar, maybe he had seen you before and just doesn’t remember.

“Don’t act like you weren’t staring at me from across the room, pretty girl. Don’t be shy, what’s your name?” His next sentence causes you to physically recoil from him, stepping away as you ball your hands into fists.

“My name is Y/N and I am walking away from this conversation, do not follow me.” Your voice is harsh as you step back once again, swiftly turning to escape out of the nearest exit. Finnick is taken aback as he watches you leave the party, the smile wiped off of his face as his mouth hangs open slightly.

“Don’t take it to heart, that girl is practically off limits with how vehemently she hates men. I’ve been trying for years, believe me.” An old man chuckles and claps Finnick on the shoulder, causing him to turn and look at the man. He raises an eyebrow, encouraging the man to explain further.

“Only a few people have ever gotten their hands on her, whether she was willing or not.” The man laughs heartily, in a way that only someone purely evil at heart could after saying something like that. Finnick forces himself to laugh before excusing himself from the interaction, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

It wasn’t until months later that Finnick saw you again. You look just as breathtaking as you did the last time, though he couldn’t help but notice the way you surveyed the room and shied away from any man in your vicinity. He suddenly understood why your eyes seemed so distinctly familiar, they held the same look as his own when he was on the lookout for people who wished to get their hands on him. For a split second, he was jealous that you had the privilege to fight back and say no.

He never had that choice, the ever present threat of what Snow would do haunting his every decision. Without realizing it, Finnick had began to walk towards you. By the time he stood in front of you, all jealousy of your privilege had dissipated. He simply was angry at the Capitol for making either of you go through these things. It takes you a second to realize he’s standing in front of you, but the second you do your body goes rigid.

Finnick is quickly spitting out a sentence before you have the chance to walk away, not wanting you to be scared of him. “I’m sorry for our last interaction, I shouldn’t have acted like that. Can we have a do-over, one where I don’t make a complete ass of myself?”

You look shocked by his apology, something that causes a harsh pain to stab through Finnick’s heart. Though he can tell your guard is still up, you seem willing to listen to him.

“My name is Finnick, it’s nice to meet you.” He holds his hand out to you, hoping with everything in him that you’d take it. You stare at him for a second before sighing, reaching out to shake his hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you as well.” Your smile is timid, almost scared, as you take your hand away from his. You didn’t know what this man’s intentions were, but he seemed to be kinder than most about his evil intentions if he had any.

“I apologize again for our last interaction, I’m a little too used to everyone wanting me.” He smiles sheepishly, almost sadly, as he looks at you. Everything clicks in your head when you see that smile, suddenly understanding the boy who stands before you. Your heart aches, your stomach turning as you are forced to wonder the horrors they put him through after he won the games.

You realize suddenly that you are simply two different examples of what sexual abuse does to a person. Finnick sees it all click in your head, the way your eyes become sad with understanding and seeing the walls you built so high crumble. He’s scared for a moment that you’ll turn away again, repulsed by him.

“Would you like to go for a walk with me, Finnick?” Your voice is soft as you speak, as if you’re scared to speak too loudly and scare him away. He nods instead of answering verbally, simply holding his arm out for you to take. Other partygoers watch the exchange, whispering amongst themselves as they watch you leave with Finnick.

The walk begins with the exchange of traumas, things neither of you have ever talked about to another living soul. You both shed tears, offer words of comfort, do anything to hold each other together as you stroll along the dark streets of the Capitol. Eventually, you find yourself walking him to your home. When you’ve both settled into the couch, you suddenly take in the fact that you have never felt so safe with anyone before. Your heart leaps, your eyes welling with tears again.

Finnick notices, reaching a hand out to grab your own. You are struck with the realization that he is the only man to have touched you without the intention to hurt you, to abuse you. This only brings on more tears as you chuckle.

“These aren’t sad tears, I don’t quite understand why I’m crying.” You sniffle, giggling again as you wipe your nose with the sleeve of your dress.

“You’re the first person who’s ever treated me like a human being and it’s causing me to feel a lot of things.” You laugh again and Finnick chuckles sadly beside you, rubbing the back of your hand softly with his thumb.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re the first Capitol citizen to make me feel like I matter for more than what I can do in bed.” You both giggle, neither of you quite understanding why it is funny but laughing nonetheless. You’d learned over the years that laughing about the pain made it slightly more bearable.

“Gosh, look at us.” You guys fall into a fit of laughter again, both of you wiping away tears when you finally calm down. After a beat of silence, the conversation picks back up. You move on to lighter subjects, talking about interests and hobbies. By the time the sun is rising outside your window, you consider Finnick one of your best friends.

“I go back to District 4 today.” He says softly, watching as the sun slowly peaks over a tall building.

“I’d say I can’t wait for you to visit again but I’d feel bad saying that.” Your comment makes Finnick smile, shaking his head.

“I’ll say it then, I can’t wait to come back and visit you. Even if it means I have to play into Snow’s games, at least I’ll see you at the end of it all.” You lunge at him in that moment, holding him tightly.

“Thank you, for seeing me as a human and letting me know I’m not alone in this awful place. I wish I could help you.” You say it softly as you embrace him, trying not to cry before you finish speaking.

“You don’t have to thank me for being a decent human being, sweetheart.” His hold on you tightens, his heart fluttering in his chest.

After arranging to keep in touch through calls, he kisses your forehead and leaves to go back to his home in District 4. You spend months calling and seeing each other in person when possible, the love between you growing with every conversation and every visit. It was nearly a year now since you’d met Finnick and you could confidently say that you were in love with him. He was unlike anyone you’d ever met before, his charm and humor making it hard to not fall for him. He was so intelligent, so loving despite the horrors he’d witnessed and experienced.

Finnick had known since the first night that he was going to fall in love with you, but he had never expected it to be so deeply. You were a beautiful soul inside and out, he admired your resilience and your strength to stay true to yourself no matter the expectations the Capitol pushed on you. You never failed to amaze him with the way you carried yourself so confidently and how you fought to stay pure hearted amongst the evil that festered within the Capitol. Finnick found himself wishing even more that he could escape the clutches of Snow, to be able to be with you properly and to love you without having to continue to exploit himself for secrets.

It was a visit just like any other when you had confessed to Finnick, your hands fidgety and your face red as you told him how deeply you love every single part of him. He swore he had never felt happier in that moment, but it only lasted as long as he let himself live within the delusion that he could properly be with you.

“I love you with every single part of my being, but this just wouldn’t work. Snow would never let me be with you, he’ll never let me out of his grasp. If I’m tied down then it will be harder for me to gain secrets for him, to get some of these women to sleep with me. I want this, I want us, I really really do. It’s just not possible.” His eyes well with tears as he speaks, his voice wobbly and his hands shaking as he reaches out to hold your own.

“My dad is a high ranking official, he knows all of these people you get secrets from. What if..What if we were able to convince President Snow that you could still gather secrets without having to sleep with these women? You’d be marrying into a high ranking family, you’d have access to these people’s home and their whole lives. I would even help you. I would do anything to be with you Finnick.” You squeeze his hands, trying not to cry as you see a tear streak down his cheek.

“I don’t know, Y/N. Snow isn’t exactly the bargaining type and I don’t want him to hurt you or your family.” He looks at you sadly, his heart breaking into pieces at the thought that he may never escape and get to love you like he wants. A sob escapes your throat, the sound strangled and painful, as you accept that this will never end the way you want.

“I wish we could have met in a different time and place, as different people,” Your voice is strained, another painful noise escaping your throat as you shake with the force of it. “I think I’d fall in love with you in every lifetime, if there are others after this one.”

A sob escapes Finnick’s own throat as he pulls you into his lap, holding you tightly. “I hope there are, Y/N. I hope in at least one we get our happy ending.”

[dailytogachako]

Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from BNHA? What do you think are Toga and Uraraka’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Since what moment that you start shipping them? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

Hellooo dnana!! I don't mind getting questions, so don't be shy!!!

one thing i've always loved about uraraka is her willingness to help others and also her empathy. she would never hesitate to help anyone, no matter who it was. i also really liked her backstory, and how she was fighting so that her parents wouldn't have to worry about money in the future. it's something admirable.

which is something funny cause to me, one of her weak points is precisely her empathy and your need to help others. she's always thinking about others, doing everything for the others and this becomes a problem when she ends up not thinking about herself. It is very noticeable how much she avoids talking about her feelings, this becomes more visible when toga dies and she goes to cry on the terrace alone, without asking anyone for help how to deal with all this pain.

her need to help others can end up becoming a bad thing when she realizes that she often cannot help others all the time, which ends up becoming frustrating for her and she blames herself for not being able to help even though she does everything she can. and when I say help others, I mean both ways: saving their lives or trying to help them in small things

Now, talking about toga: she's been one of my favorite characters for a long time, I liked how she expressed herself and how she didn't hate heroes at all (at the beginning of the anime). and I love how little by little we saw more of her backstory and understood why she acted that way, because until then many people considered her a "crazy psychopath yandere"

one great thing about toga is simply the fact that she loves, and that's it. I think it's beautiful how she loves everyone who has blood running through their veins, and as if it were her way of saying that everyone can be loved, including her. she's not afraid to express her love and to say that she loves someone (even if it is in her own way). also she was not afraid to try to be herself, even when her parents and old school friends told her she was weird and a demon. It may not have been the "right way", but she tried, she wanted a world where she and her friends from the league of villains could smile. and i think that's beautiful after all.

and her weak point is: not facing the past

toga avoids her past, avoids talking about what happened because it is something sad and scary. this becomes a mistake when we realize that not talking about what happened in the past can influence the present.

In the final arc, before she dies, she finally faces the demons of her past with ochako, and we realize that there is still a lot of stuff stored away, especially hurt. we finally managed to understand that she's not a bad person, she was just lost and wanted to find someone who understood her. and that she never wanted to hurt someone and steal their blood, she wanted to ask but knew that if she did, they would call her a demon.

I've been shipping them since 2019 (when I started MHA) and i just loved the hero x villain dynamic, it was something cool for me. as the story progressed, I started to like how toga seemed to genuinely like ochako (more than she apparently liked deku) and how uraraka seemed curious about toga, and that she wasn't really afraid of her (which later turned out to be canon)

this shipp is something sweet to me, how ochako sought to know about toga and how she didn't give up until the end. and how toga was so hurt but allowed herself to open up to ochako and talk about what happened. I'm sure if they had a chance... things would have been different.

[throughgoalsandbaskets]

A Demon's Guide to Anthropology

part: 3

Word count: 657

Tags: use of 'MC's and they/them pronouns, sensory sensitivity on MC's end, written to be seen as sensory processing disorder, written based on my experience with it but I tried to change it to be broader

Word: "sensory"

Beel's time to shine :], also this is genuinely such bad writing I'm sorry, gonna come back and edit this to be better some day lol

★• ——— –– -

Beelzebub is a lot more perceptive than people like to give him credit for. With brothers like his and being an athlete, he has to be in order to know what's going on.

Which is why it doesn't take him long to notice the way that MC shies away from a lot of foods, clothes, and objects. Completely random to the common eye, but Beelzebub is most concerned with the food issue.

It's not like MC doesn't eat, not at all, they're healthy and never skin out on a good, fresh meal, but they're always so odd with what they eat.

Meats are off the table most of the time, which isn't all that bad. A lot of people just don't like meat. But some drinks and a good few veggies and fruits added onto that is what confuses him.

Maybe MC was just a picky eater, which again is fine, Devildom foods are weird to get used to, but it also seemed prevalent in human foods, too. To Beel, it seemed completely random, from a few spicy foods to a few sweets and sours, in his eyes he couldn't find a common connection.

So with a breath, he knocked on MC's door and entered when he was allowed.

Beelzebub wasn't normally so nervous or anxious, but he knew human bodies were delicate and didn't want MC and their odd aversions to certain objects or foods to somehow leave a bad mark.

"MC," he began after entering and shutting the door. The human sat in their bed with their D.D.D. in hand, "I have a question."

Intruiged and curious as always, MC responds.

"What's up, Beel? Something wrong?"

"Are you okay?" MC blinks, a little caught off guard at the vague question. The giant demon stood above them, looking down and vaguely reminding the human of a large dog looking at a toy it was attached to.

"Uh- elaborate?"

"You don't eat some stuff and you don't touch some things."

To their credit, MC understood after a moment, and they tried not to seem rude by the way they gave a laugh and smile, shaking their head.

"Do you mean how I don't like touching certain fabrics or eating certain foods?" The ginger nodded at the question.

"That's kinda common for humans," MC explained, "It's called sensory sensitivity. Some textures feel really bad to touch or to eat, so I tend to avoid them. Nothing is wrong with me, I promise."

Beelzebub nodded in solemn understanding, sitting beside the mortal on the rather Plush and comfortable bedding. In his hands was a small box of cookies he knew they favored a lot that he'd taken with him. It took everything in Beelzebub's power not to tear the box open and have at the cookies himself.

"So you can't have some foods or wear some things because they feel weird?"

MC nodded, though they didn't seem very down about it. To them, it was simply another day like any other, knowledge as common as grass is green and Luke despises anything demonic.

To Beelzebub, though, it solidified his resolve as he passed the now opened box of cookies over, one in hand and another in his mouth.

"What food can you not have? I'll eat them for you."

The serious expression to the previous words caused another laugh to bubble out of MC, and they took their own cookie from the box.

"It's hard to explain, but I'll pass you any whenever they come with a meal I have. Deal?"

Beelzebub nodded and put a hand on MC's head (the demon struggled sometimes with such casual affection and touch with most people, but had recently picked up on simply resting a hand on the mortal's head and leaving it there for a minute), and after a few moments a comfortable silence and sharing cookies, he spoke once more.

"Hell's Kitchen?"

"Hell's Kitchen."

[girlfromflor]

Hello, could you possibly write a osamu miya x reader fic (or idk how you call it) ? For the scenario i don’t really know, but could the reader be rather quiet, reserved but not shy (if that makes sense) has hard time expressing themselves/their emotions, like quite bad at feelings. And could the characters just be asexual please? Anyway, hope you have a nice day

hello, anon! thanks for the request. i hope it meets up with your expectations. if it doesn't, let me know.

wc: 688 | tw: gn!reader and implies jealousy |

being reserved was how most people referred to you. not in a mean way, really, it was just a fact. you liked doing things on your own, were mostly unbothered by other’s opinions of you and never really needed to explain yourself and your actions – it was easy to understand what you meant, usually you were very forward. but not when it came to feelings, however. 

not that you were apathetic to everything, you had friends and did have fun with them and got angry at them - mostly to atsumu for joking so much about you and osamu -, you even missed them sometimes. but it’s not like you could express all of it. it was hard to understand why people cared so much about so many things you usually didn’t. you liked to keep things simple, but sometimes it was so hard to understand what others felt, and why they felt it. but not osamu, though.

you grew up with the miya twins, they were your neighbors and honestly very fun to have around. you and osamu were very fond of each other too, not that it mattered – you were together all the time anyway. he usually understood things faster and for you that was a blessing – you never needed to say things twice –, while atsumu always seemed to misread you somehow. it wasn’t rare to see osamu explaining something so obvious - like the bond you shared - to atsumu, simply because you couldn’t. you had the worst time trying to figure it all out, and it was even worse to try and explain it to someone else. 

you didn’t felt like you had to explain things to osamu, usually he read you very well. he didn’t ask if you were ok, if you were sad nor did he pressured you to elaborate your feelings for him. he knew you wouldn’t know how to talk about it anyway. and it was okay, really. one day he just rubbed your back out of nowhere, kissed your forehead and said “you know, i was surprised that you weren’t rude with that guy earlier today.” 

“what, why?” you had your brows furrowed, confused as to why he was comforting you for no reason – you too were just sitting together at his backyard, talking and joking sometimes after buying ice creams at the store near your houses. you heard his laugh, but didn’t register what was so funny. “i’m confused. why are you laughing?” he was amused to say the least. “he was hitting on you, are you kidding?” he went to touch your hands, only to be greeted with your cold touch. “they’re cold, do you want my jacket?”

you didn’t know how he could jump from topic to topic. “no, i’m okay. thanks, though” you answered. but still didn’t understand what he was talking about “what do you mean he was hitting on me? where did you get that from?” you asked, quite confused still. you heard him laugh harder, you yourself let a smile rest on your face, it was quite funny – all of it. “i should’ve known you hadn’t realized. you were being so blunt i had to tell the guy you were just quiet.” you laughed, thinking that – of all things – osamu wasn’t jealous or whatever.

“weren’t you jealous?” it came out eager, but you were actually curious, trying to understand him better – maybe one day you will read him like he does you. he looked like he was about to explode, red ears and shy smile. “well, not really, no” but you still had a questioning look in your eyes “you were clearly oblivious to his advances, and the whole time you were looking at me. i don’t think i will ever be insecure about us” you nodded, kind of not understanding still. so jealousy comes with insecurities? you were not one to be jealous anyway, when you were it was masked with anxiety too, so you never really knew. but it didn’t matter, you knew you could always ask osamu how he felt – he would always be honest with you, even if you didn’t understand at first.

[firstclassattorney]

Rockstar and Attorney, Klavier and Kristoph

Small fic for Kristoph and Klavier! If you could call it that? It's 1.4k words, lmao. 

Klavier feels unsure of his skills and whether or not the path he chose was the right one. Not knowing who else to turn to, he calls Kristoph in the middle of the night.

Hurt/comfort except the comfort is temporary. (If any of you make incestuous comments I WILL block y'all. ew.)

umm @jaydovekj you might be interested in this?!?!?!

It wasn't often that my sleep was interrupted before the sun had risen.

The loud ring of my cellphone from the counter jolted me awake. Groggily, I opened my eyes, a wave of frustration washing over me. Who calls a man at this hour? A high-end defense attorney needs his rest. But, well... he also has to consider that random calls in the middle of the night might be emergencies.

As I switched on my phone, the sudden light felt like it'd blind me. I winced and set it down momentarily, reaching for a neatly folded cloth to wipe the lenses of my glasses before putting them on. When I checked the screen again, my vision adjusted to the brightness, revealing the name of the contact: "Klavier." Expected, really; Klavier was the only one bold enough to disturb my beauty sleep. Still, I was a bit surprised.

I hastily answered, stifling a yawn. "Good morning to you, too, Klavier."

"Ach, I'm sorry for waking you, Kris. I didn't know who else to call."

"Is it another song idea you want to share?"

His laugh was dry, humorless, and a bit pathetic. A sound so pitiful it almost made me want to kick him. "Nein, it's a bit silly. I'm not sure why I called."

"Silly?" I echoed, hoping he'd elaborate.

"I'm just questioning a few things. Nothing I can't handle, but... we all have those moments, you understand, ja?"

We all have those moments. How odd. I never quite understood why some people struggled so much with their own minds, why they couldn’t simply snap out of it and see how ridiculous they were being. Klavier- and people in general- were always different from me. It baffled me to no end, a reminder that they were simply too human while I was perfect.

"Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting you. I know you've been busy and--"

"Klavier." I cut him off before I could stop myself. "Do you want me to come over?"

"...It's too much work. It's late for both of us."

"Answer my question."

A beat of silence passed. "Are you sure?"

"Do I seem like the type to joke about this?"

Another pause. Maybe he realized how ridiculous he sounded, or perhaps the gears in his head were turning. Just as I was about to speak again, he finally responded.

"No, well..." As if remembering he was Klavier Gavin, he corrected, "Nein, you don't. You're right."

"Then I'll come over as soon as I can."

"Okay. Danke, Kris."

I hung up first and rubbed the bridge of my nose. I wanted to leave the topic alone, trust in his ability to "get over it", but he sounded so sorrow-filled I couldn't help myself. Klavier was like a stray puppy when he was sad, so beaten up and so so pathetic you simultaneously want to care for it and crush it between your palms mercilessly. Alas, it's my job as his elder brother to support him despite my own feelings.

..........

I couldn’t believe it. It felt surreal, getting dressed in the middle of the night to comfort my brother. I didn’t spend much time on my appearance; when Klavier visited, our meaningful conversations always happened in the dark, and I doubted tonight would be any different. Still, I wanted to maintain some sense of dignity as I drove there.

The road stretched longer than usual, or at least it felt that way to my tired mind. I tried to push away thoughts about the ridiculous scenario I was in; each time I did, I couldn’t help but think how I probably looked like a lemur with these dark circles under my eyes. Unfortunately, I was my own worst critic.

When I arrived, I knocked twice. The door creaked open, revealing Klavier with a weak smile on his face. It was a poor attempt at reassuring he was okay, given the redness around his eyes and the smudged mascara. I kept any emotions or judgement away from my expression, a skill I’d mastered over the years. Unlike a certain blond man in front of me.

“Ach, where are my manners? It must be freezing out there. Come in.”

I nodded and stepped inside. As expected, the room was dim, lit only by a flickering candle. I never questioned why we always spoke about personal issues in the dark, though sometimes I wondered if it made it easier to connect.

The first time it happened, I had awoken for a glass of water and found Klavier wide awake. We ended up talking until dawn. I never understood how he found the courage to share so much when he usually insisted he was fine. Perhaps, in the shadows, we lost our roles as Klavier and Kristoph, becoming just brothers- free from distance and formalities, able to talk openly when our faces were obscured by darkness.

“Kris?”

I snapped out of my daze. “Sorry. We shouldn’t waste time. What were you questioning earlier?”

“It’s… ridiculous, ja. I’ve been worrying. Wondering if this is the right path.”

My brow furrowed in confusion, but luckily, he couldn’t see it. It *was* ridiculous- he had no reason to doubt himself. I had taught him everything he needed to know; he was more than capable.

“I just…” He sighed, “There’s so much to do, and I have to keep smiling for the paparazzi. It gets overwhelming. You know that feeling, too, richtig?”

“I do." I confirmed, knowing he couldn’t see my nod. “But it’s not about skill. No matter how good you are, mistakes will happen.”

“I know, but sometimes I wish I could avoid them. Like- Like you! You always keep your cool, bruder, and I don’t know how you do it.”

I fell silent, not wanting to crush his spirit. Achieving my level of calmness was impossible for him. Klavier wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions spilling into his voice and face. He would never be like me, no matter how hard he tried. It was a difficult pill to swallow... for both of us.

“…Klavier, you can’t be like me. Even if we share the same appearance and last name, we’re still Klavier and Kristoph- two different people.”

“Ja, but-”

“Let me finish, please.”

He shrank slightly, like a child. “Okay.”

“The thing is, I might seem put-together, but I have my moments of frustration, stress, sadness… that doesn’t make me any less capable. The same goes for you.”

I took a step closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. I could see doubt and uncertainty swirling in his eyes, and paired with his posture, it made him look like a child again. He’d always clung to me when we were young, asking me why the world was the way it was. I never had an answer, just the reassurance that we had to live in it, and somehow, that was enough for him.

“Klavier, you’re doing great. I’m proud of you. Whatever doubts you have are normal, but don’t let them make you falter.”

I didn’t know if I truly meant those words, but I knew they could provide comfort. I understood that he wanted nothing more than to make me proud and live up to my standards. I wasn’t a fool.

Klavier sniffed and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. He smiled genuinely- a first for this night- and nodded his head. To stop him from further pestering me with concerns, I hugged him. It caught him off-guard, certainly, but eventually he relaxed and hugged me back.

"...You're much more affectionate today, Kris. I think you're going soft, ja." He chuckled. I felt like he could almost sense me hiding an eye roll. "But... thank you."

We sat there in silence for a few moments. It felt right. As most times of tranquility do, the hug ended and I let my arms fall to my side. Klavier copied.

"Ach." He suddenly spoke up. "I just realized how late it is. Do you want to stay at mine tonight?"

"For once, I'll take you up on your offer." 

"I could get you a plush if you're lonely. Do you remember that bear I had when I was-?"

"Don't push it, Klavier, or I might regret my decision..."

For the first time in a while, I smiled as well. Perhaps taking a break from being 'The coolest defense in the west' more often would do me good.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Countdown: Best to Worst, Ramona's Evil Exes (Scott Pilgrim)

The Rules:

I will be covering ALL mediums Comic, movie, video game and even Show

When I say Best, I mean in which their actions are the least Egregious, they are entertaining, and they are more palatable, The lower on the list the worse they are

I must view them by their most detestable actions, as determined by either medium

This is a subjective list based on my opinion, so feel free to put your thoughts and opinions on the list.

Spoilers for the Comic, the Show, the Movie and the Video game

____________________________________________________________

The Best Ex: Roxie Richter

Roxie is probably the Evil Ex that is probably on the best terms with Ramona in all iteration (save the movie). Roxie was seen occasionally hanging out with Ramona in the comic, and while the Half Ninja did try to kill Ramona and Scott, its clear her reasons for being an Evil Ex are pretty justified. Ramona's dismissive nature of their relationship as a "Phase" and her leaving without a word was pretty damn heartbreaking.

And while she claims to be the most Emotionally intelligent, she has just as much trouble explaining her feelings as the other Exes do. But In Scott Pilgrim takes off we see her at her core and she just needed some damn closure. Which compared to the rest of the people on the list, she is the most justified.

The Second Best Ex: Mathew Patel

Okay so for a guy that only dated Ramona briefly in middle school and being a super petty Theater nerd... he isnt actually that Evil.

Yea he tries to play up his evil side, but he is actually a really polite dude. He sent Scott a warning about how the Evil Exes were going to attack him, and even took time to ensure Scott understood what was going on instead of just attacking him.

Sure in the Comic, Game and Movie we dont get much of his character, but in the Anime. We find out how after he won, he realized that the League was stupid and decided to Challenge Gideon after realizing this whole thing wouldnt actually win Ramona over. He eventually moves on with his life not even pursuing Ramona further, he rightfully Blames Gideon for his stupid assumptions and even BEATS GIDEON. Now Mathew is still a selfish jerk, but he is oddly not hostile towards Ramona and simply moves on with his life after this. Guess he just needed some self confidence to know his own worth was more than just the first guy to get defeated.

The Third best Ex: Lucas Lee

Bad boy skateboarder/ Action star. Lucas Lee.

In the Anime he is just kind of a Himbo that seems more angry with Todd than Ramona over how the relationship ended. In the movie and Comic he is not really caring much about the League and just decided to fight because why not. The comic has him at his worst which he simply says if Scott pays him 50 bucks he will simply leave him alone.

In this context he really hasnt done anything to Ramona and actually in the movie version asks how shes been casually. Regardless of the version Lucas never seemed to have any real negative views on Ramona. And He is arguably interchangable with Mathew, I do Put him lower because Lucas never called out how dumb the League actually was unlike Patel.

The Fourth Best/Fourth Worst Ex: Kyle & Ken Katayanag

I put them to share these rankings because they are interchangeable. No matter the story they both are always grouped together. The worst thing they did was Kidnap Kim and send robots to Attack Scott, but regardless of the version they arent outright hostile to Ramona but do blame the cheating fiasco on her. They are usually pretty chill outside of that and thats honestly the worst they get, they are just only sort of Asses but that is about it. They have a cool Robot though.

The Third Worst Ex: Todd Ingram

Ah Yes, the first Big Ex of Ramona's. They Dated throughout Highschool and then broke off when he left for Vegan School. He is probably the most Vanilla Scumbag, but he is actually even worse because he is Vegan and believes he is better than everyone else. And the Psychic powers that come with being Vegan... well He might have a point. But he is constantly cheating on his Girlfriend. And in the Show he ends up cheating and catches feelings for Wallace (who I am CONVINCED has a +7 Charisma boost) or Magic balls.

Anyway, regardless of iteration he is a serial cheater whether its in love, in a fight, or even on his Vegan Diet. He is also willing to punch girls for no reason other than they are annoying him. He punched the highlights out of Knives hair in most iterations, its f***ed up.

The Second Worst Ex: Scott Pilgrim (Specifically Even Older Scott)

Ramona once said that Scott was an evil ex just waiting to happen. but in the anime we actually get to see what that would be like. Take all of Scotts worst qualities, He dated a high schooler (no he didnt do anything but STILL), he cheated on girls, he would hide things from people, he wouldnt take responsibility for his own faults. And now have it where he is able to beat the Exes and get Ramona WITHOUT all of the emotional growth that let him realize he was an absolute Scumbag and needed to change.

In this timeline, Scott ended up separating from Ramona after a Rough patch, which lead to him trying to stop himself from ever dating Ramona by pulling him out of time to convince himself, but when that failed he trained for 10 YEARS gained the powers and Skills of ALL the Evil Exes then decided to fight EVERYONE in order to stop Scott From dating Ramona. Its arguable that he is probably the worst because he was more than willing to wipe out his own friend if needed just to achieve his goal. Showing how Tunnel vision Scott can be. In a way, Even Older Scott is Nega Scott fully realized. And is Ramona's most Dangerous Ex

The Worst Ex Gideon Gordon Graves

If anyone has read the Comic, Gideon is by far the Worst of the Evil Exes. Sure Scott of that other timeline maybe the most powerful, this Emotionally abusive prick is far and away the worst.

He created Emotional warfare to manipulate people, including Ramona. Messed with peoples memories, Was Physically and Emotionally abusive, His grand master plan was to gain complete control of the Glow, brain wash people, have Ramona get frozen and become one of his frozen Exes that he pulls out of stasis to Date whenever he gets board, (basically a sex slave)

The Anime REALLY cuts a lot of this out and makes him much less then he is, and the movie only has a control collar on Ramona where he is still an asshole control freak.

But the Comic REALLY goes out of the way where he is like Scott but at his ABSOLUTE WORST in every category.

Power maybe debated but when it comes to EVIL ex. there is no topping Gideon

[void-speaks]

My theory with Six is that she is simply no longer the Six we know. Or well, the Six that Mono knows. I interpret the whole betrayal thing as Six being under the control of the Signal Tower, or at least influencing her a bit. Or hell, even go as far as saying that that is just no longer Six, since after she's came back from being a monster, whose to say that that is the same Six that we knew before?

Anyway, the reason why I think like this, is because of the way that she looks at the signal tower. Mono doesn't do that. That already is enough to show that it begins to influence her. Then when Thin Man takes her. We see Shadow Six. What would Shadow Six be? A glitching remain. What is a glitching remain? Something I always assumed to he the kids' souls after they have been captured. That theory is fueld by the series of achievements that include getting all the glitching remains that are called "Nothing of us remains in the _____". Then, if Shadow Six is indeed Six's soul, that just means that whatever we see after she's taken, that's just no longer Six. Sure, in the moment that she knocks on the TV, you can say that that is clearly still the same Six, but you can't convince me that having a part of your soul taken out won't affect a person in any way whatsoever. Maybe it's just a case of a child clinging to something familiar, the same way her monster form clings to the music box. Mono has saved her before from the bullies, so the situation feels familiar to her, which is why she reaches out again. In the moment of the betrayal itself, you can see that Six didn't reach out her hand like she normally did when she needed to catch Mono, she just kinda sat there, waiting for him to fall (into her grasp or just fall). But since she still responds to familiar triggers, she grabs a hold of him. You can see Mono try to pull himself up (which I think he always done to help make it easier for Six), but after a bit of looking at her, he stops. That can be interpreted as him being confused on why she isn't pulling him up. Or that totally can be interpreted as him realizing that that is no longer Six. When she drops him, you can see the way she reaches her hand down first, before suddenly pulling it up. That could indicate that she was either hesitating (or you could say fighting against the signal tower's influence) or that Mono was gripping onto her a bit too hard that she had to do this to be able to drop him.

And the thing with the hunger? I never really understood the thing where people said "she knew about the hunger so she dropped Mono to save him." How is chomping off his arm apparently worse than being dropped into a living organism of eyeballs that controls the entire Pale City and has reach even beyond that (I think the Maw and the Nest both)?? I like to think that the hunger isn't because of her missing soul, but because she was turned back from a monster. What I mean is, I guess I'm saying that even tho her body returned back, her needs and appetite haven't changed. None of the LN kids get as hungry as she does. Like, ever. And that does seem to be fueld by the fact that she needs to eat something bigger every time. First a piece of bread is good enough, but she gets hungry again rather quickly. Then she eats the meat, which is enough to last until you get to the Kitchen area. She eats a rat bigger than the piece of meat, and that lasts longer, all the way to the end of the Guest Area chapter. Then she eats a Nome, which was bigger than the rat, which, strangely enough, doesn't last any longer than the piece of meat, since it only lasts for the Residence section before she gets hungry again at the end of it. Or maybe that was the case because... well, huge food. Or, maybe that doesn't make sense at all since she eats the meat and the bread whole, but only takes bites of the rat, the Nome and the Lady. Maybe it's about how juicy the meat is or something idk. Or maybe her appetite has gone so bad that she turned into a cannibal after eating meat made from the guests.

And another thing I wanna say separately, I don't think that Six has gotten colder specifically to Mono after she got her raincoat back.

Basically, she's already been a survivalist since Very Little Nightmares, but after being captured by the Hunter, she's gone more tame. For a little while. Why? Probably because she felt like that was it, there was no chance she would escape now. We see an instant in Very Little Nightmares when she knocks on the door in hopes of Raincoat Girl letting her in, allowing her front walls to cave in for a moment and trust that this girl will save her (which, she didn't, by the way). We see her almost doing the same with Mono, before he quickly realizes that that didn't end wall the last time. So she ignores him, pushes him away, taking her chance of escaping.

The two form a bond, and when Six realizes that Mono is trustworthy, she warms up to him, reaching out her hand for the first time.

And then she gets captured by the Bullies. That makes her survivalist instincts come back. She doesn't rely on Mono to help her (not that he can in the first place but shhhh), she tries to fight them off herself. Doesn't work. It fails and she gets dragged away.

But just as she was losing hope of surviving once again, Mono saves her. He rescues her, offering her a helping hand. Their bond becomes even stronger, and from this point on she trusts you a little more.

Then she gets her raincoat back. She remembers everything that happened back at the Nest. How she watched Raincoat Girl die and how hurt she was by it. But the cruel world of Little Nightmares didn't let her process her grief, she was forced to move on to survive. So she kept the last piece that remained of the girl. And once she gets it back, she realizes that she has become too dependent on Mono. So she starts taking initiative more. Like in the Hospital part, where you have to climb up the beds? The Nest is more a vertical place, so she has experience on how to move in those kind of environments with ease. When the Doctor chases them? She had to run from the Batler before while navigating hideous obstacles. She has experience in that and takes the lead to ensure not only hers but Mono's survival too.

But that doesn't weaken her trust in Mono. She still reaches out to him when stuck under the couch for help. She still reaches out to him when Thin Man spots her. She still reaches out to him from the TV, even when her mind was probably already messed with by the Signal Tower. She still trusts you, but wants to know how to do things by herself in case something like what happened to RCG will happen to you. It's almost like what healthy relationships are supposed to be. When you're both stable on your own but still know how to rely on the other party and place your trust in them.

Of course, you could say that that trust was broken when Mono broke the music box, and therefore that caused her to betry him. And you could say that it was a different thing with RCG since they had way less time to form a stronger bond and therefore the fact that RCG didn't help Six didn't affect her that much.

Why I don't agree with this? Because I just don't think she's that kind of person. Sure, you can say that six was aggressive so it is entirely possible that she would purposely subject Mono to that kind of suffering, but come on. Mono is just as aggressive as her. He shot the Hunter. He burned the Doctor. He killed all those bullies by smashing their heads in. Sure, you could argue that it's worse with Six because she killed a bully with her bare hands when it wasn't even necessary. But come on, don't tell me you didn't go for the hammer at that moment? And the finger breaking part? That is not even necessarily an aggressive thing to do. It's a plastic arm. And she's all alone with nothing better to do. It's the same thing as doing weird shit to your dolls, like popping their heads off. You don't do it because you're a violent beast (most of the time), you do it because you're a kid and because it's fun. I mean come on, it's not even one of the alive mannequin hands, I'm pretty sure that is just a prosthetic arm.

One of the other theories behind the betrayal I will never understand is the "she saw his face and realized that he was Thin Man" one. Like... what? We know what both of their faces look like. And if I didn't play the game but saw their faces, you could shoot me and I still wouldn't be able to see any similarities between them.

I'm sorry if I come off like I'm trying to downplay Six's character, I'm really not. I just really disliked her back in the day when Little Nightmares 2 just came out because of the fact that she betrayed Mono, so now I'm trying to interpret that whole thing to make my brain see her in a better light, since I feel guilty about hating Six because apparently that's just no allowed.

But also I really do genuinely believe in the stuff I said here, so yeah. Take this as you will really.

[fortpeat]

Hi! I hope you are doing ok. I know this might be coming out of the blue, but I feel the need to spread the word so other fans can see this and not go through the same that I have been. I recently joined a FortPeat server on Discord. I saw the invite on a tumblr tag and I thought it could be a good idea since most fandom spaces I've been in were usually wholesome and nice to meet new people and talk about the things we all have in common and love. I will be honest with you that I had actually thought the server had something to do with your account since I always see you in the fortpeat tags (I don't really use my tumblr account, I'm more of a lurker, I just recently got into the fortpeat fandom) and you always seemed to be like a lovely person. I was actually told by this server owner that you were also one of the server owners at some point, and I remember seeing one of your posts talking about "the discord incident"… I have no idea if both of these things are related to each other, but I understood immediately after talking to this server owner why you'd leave that place. This server is extremely toxic. I and another member were kicked out simply because we harboured a different opinion than the one from the server owner. She is a grown-ass woman and treats people in a really childish manner. She's condescending and passive-aggressive. She deleted our messages for no good reason and then said we were free to leave if we were not happy with her rules. The other member called her out on it and this is what got us kicked out. That was it. Nothing else. I thought for a second that I could've been somewhat rude, but another member of the server reached out to me in private to tell me this had happened many times before and that neither I nor the person who was kicked out were rude. So, my point with this ask is I hope whoever's still stuck in that graveyard filled with toxicity, please leave as soon as possible. I had other people reaching out to me since then to tell me that they also experienced really bad things there. I'm really sorry if you went through some shit because of it, but yeah. I hope the owner reflects on her attitude if she intends on keeping up with a server she clearly has, currently, zero capabilities of running if this is how she treats her members. Thank you so much, and I am sorry for the huge ask. I think it's important to let people know when fandom spaces are nasty. Love your blog! 🤍

Hi Nonnie ✨🥰

First of all sorry for the late response I needed some time to think through a proper response since it's a sensitive topic and I am typing this out while in the middle of a program and my Wifi is wacky so I don't know when you might get this 🫣

Now I am not gonna lie, when I first received this ask I was sceptical about even posting this. I tend to avoid all kinds of drama as I quite don't have the time for that but then I realized won't that mean I too am ignoring you the same way the server owner did and essentially cutting you off and I am not that kind of person. I believe that everyone deserves to have their opinion heard and from what you told me I think you deserve it especially when you are definitely not in the wrong.

But first things first. I am so sorry you went through something like that. Nobody deserves it least of someone who joined a server believing that it might be something good. I will tell you it used to be good but then everything kind of fell apart. I left that server back in Nov due to personal reasons and a disagreement with the server owner.

Now the discord incident.. it was more or less connected to this but it was also me and my best friend joking around coz the both of us have had bad experiences with it. I never thought anyone would pay attention to it 🫣🫣😂. Now I don't want to dish out my personal experiences publicly like this so if you ever want to talk privately my DMS are always open 🥰 I promise it to be safe space for you and anyone who wants to talk.

I would also like to thank you for opening up like this I am sure it must not have been easy to trust me especially after your experience. I hope in the future this doesn't cloud your judgement towards future servers you might want to join. There are lots of lovely people in the fandom and there are some in that very server as well.

Also thank you for raising this awareness. I never would have thought things would get this bad there. That too in a server that represents our beautiful Fortpeat and Paisky who has taught us nothing but the importance of proper communication 🥺🥺

I hope you have a good day nonnie 🥰✨

Here's some Fortpeat hugs to feel better 🥹🥰

[hekate1308]

There Was Winter's Cold, A Destiel Advent Calendar December 3

Masterpost

It was far from the first time Dean had helped out someone in need. Call it childhood trauma (like Sammy) or just being a decent person (like Ellen) or “Get on with it idjit so I can make sure you still have a roof over your head at the end of it” (Bobby) but the point was, he always had certain things in the house just in case he needed to help someone.

And the first thing Castiel needed was dry clothing (another wince a she thought of Baby’s upholstery, but he could deal with that when there wasn’t a human in risk of pneumonia at his place, even though Castiel seemed utterly oblivious to the cold. While Dean knew that could be a bad sign, there should have been others before that – shivering and all that sort of thing. Again, the way he grew up, he kind of knew all about that.)

“There you go” he told him, passing him shirts and pants that were two sizes smaller than his own – he figured that should work.

“Thank you” he told him, then blinked down at the clothing as if he had no idea what to do, but Dean had enough experience to feel certain he was capable of doing the work himself, he just needed a reminder… he was perhaps a little shell-shocked at suddenly being cared for, he wouldn’t be the first one of that sort he had met, either.

“Bathroom’s that way” he told him and Castiel obediently went, even though he still took a moment to squint at Dean and tilt his head to the side because apparently that was just how it was. Well, Dean was fine with it.

Of course, the second he was out of the room, Sam called.

“Hey, Sammy.”

“Hello, Dean. Wanted to know how you were doing.”

They made chitchat for a while, after which he hung up feeling rather guilty that he had not told him about his house guest, but Sam tended to get nervous when he invited strangers into his home, and since he could not even say how long he would stay, it felt unnecessary to make him worry, or at least that was what he told himself.

He decided to make dinner. After all, Castiel would need to eat, and he himself was feeling slightly hungry too, having completely forgotten about eating once he had spotted the figure in the river.

“And” he asked when he heard him enter the kitchen, “Feeling better?”

“Yes. I have been curious for a long time how it would feel to experience water like that. Thank you.”

Dean kept forgetting about the whole wraith thing, but well he really needed to get him fed for now, and then they might talk about his delusions. Who knew, maybe he could snap him out of it – didn’t happen often, but now and then one could get people back onto the ground of reality, although that was always a risk because some landed tenderly and some crash-landed. Then again, dean thought, he could take Castiel if push came to shove. He was taller than him, and he kept himself fit.

Not that Castiel was unfit, he could tell that even with the t-shirt he was wearing now, plus when he had dragged him out of the river…

He lightly shook his head then said, “I hope you like pasta.”

“I’ve never had pasta before.”

Okay. Well, why not. All sorts of folks around here, just play along. “Alright. First time for everything.”

“I’ve had a lot of first times today. Thank you, Dean.”

“Don’t mention it. If we don’t take care of one another, who will?”

There was a pause and he already believed that Castiel had simply fallen silent when he finally said, “My… family doesn’t really believe in taking care of… anything but oneself.”

That sounded depressing, and while there might be something of interest there, dean was not interested in a sob story, so he served dinner instead.

It was sort of interesting to watch how Castiel went about it. He waited until Dean had taken up his utensils, and he only the understood that he’d wanted to see what he would do with them; still, he managed well enough, so Dean didn’t say anything, and he did like the pasta, thanking him with a smile and tilting his head to the side again, of course.

Dean felt his heart pick up a beat and told himself that it was about the worst possible time to develop a crush.

After dinner, eh cleared the plate then turned around and asked, “So, Cas, what are your plans now?”

“Cas?”

“Yeah. I do that. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Castiel looked down at his hands before raising his head again and saying, “I am afraid I don’t know my plans, as you say.”

[himemiya-kun]

Blue Sea＊The Shining, Truthful Atlantis (Chapter 1)

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Chapter 1: Under the Surface

Winter

Characters:

• Yuzuru Fushimi

• Eichi Tenshouin

• Tori Himemiya

<First year of establishment of ES. Early February. The morning after Tori Himemiya had a nightmare ─ ES Building, Starpro Office>

Yuzuru: —Is SANCTUARY closing?

That's... Well, I knew it was unavoidable. That strange amusement park was still too early for mankind.

Eichi: It’s not like you, Yuzuru.

No, I wonder if my desire has slipped out of my mouth. Either way, it's rare in this case.

I really like SANCTUARY, but it's unpopular with people in the industry—especially active idols.

I know that there are some people who want to pretend that it didn't happen if possible. It seems like you are one of them, Yuzuru.

I think it's a good facility that will increase the number of places to work for idols and efficiently increase the number of juniors.

Yuzuru: As I’ve said earlier, Eichi-sama's ideas are too innovative to be understood.

Of course, that includes me who speaks with this face.

Eichi-sama preaches to Buddha, but people avoid the unknown and the things they cannot understand.

Eichi: I wonder if that will be a future issue. I'm used to that point, and if SANCTUARY actually starts making money, most people will probably keep their mouths shut.

Profit, countless money, dissolves human reason.

That's why no one could stop the Great Depression, even though sages repeatedly suggested it would collapse.

It's the same with the never-ending gambling. Haha, this sounds like we're talking about Crazy:B instead of fine.

Anyway, there are no plans to close SANCTUARY. Rather, the park hasn't even officially opened yet.

Even though profits have not been gained well, there is no point in closing it. It's not like there's any big trouble.

Yuzuru: That's all you have to say from the beginning. You were adding too many unnecessary details to your reply.

Eichi: Wataru is absent today due to his theatre work, so I'm craving for someone to talk to.

Yuzuru: Did you call us here simply because you wanted to chat?

Eichi: As expected, I'm not that lonely. There is a main topic.

It's a bad habit of mine to say it in a roundabout way, but in the first place, SANCTUARY—

Tori: —Yawn, I'm sorry.

Eichi: Tori doesn't look like usual today either. Is there something wrong that has you yawning like that?

It's no big deal. Even though you’re always neat in front of me.

You’ve been silent this whole time and look sleepy... Could it be that you didn't sleep well last night?

Tori: Huh!? Ah, I'm sorry, Eichi-sama! I was stupid!

Eichi: I don’t mind. I was talking to Wataru No. 2, and I made a mistake, because Yuzuru was listening to me.

Yuzuru: I'll pretend that I didn't hear that unpleasant mistake.

Eichi: It's a butler's mirror.

Tori: I'm sorry, Eichi-sama. I've been having some bad dreams lately, so I've been lacking sleep.

Yuzuru: Yes. Last night, Young Master woke up in the middle of the night... And while crying like a baby, he clung to my chest.

Tori: Will you stop saying nonsensical lies? I'm not like that. I didn't do anything shameless, Eichi-sama!?

Yuzuru: Apologies. That was the story of a dream I had.

Tori: Don't dream like that! It's gross, it's gross, it's gross!

Yuzuru: Fufu. Unfortunately, I cannot control the content of the dream I see.

Eichi: That’s very interesting. Do you know about dream diagnosis?

Tori: Please don’t, Eichi-sama! I have a feeling that if I delve deeper into something like Yuzuru's dream, I'll end up in a scary situation!

Eichi: It's not like I reject it that much. It's ridiculous to say that the whole human spirit can be seen in a dream.

By giving a positive interpretation of the dream, there is an effect of fortune-telling that makes you feel a little lighter.

It is a good thing if you feel better without using medicine. If you don't mind, could you tell me what kind of dream you had?

Tori: No matter what—dreams are dreams, and when I wake up I've mostly forgotten about it.

I feel like I had a dream of sinking endlessly to the bottom of the sea.

Even though it was a dream, it was very painful and cold, and it was dark and I was scared because I couldn't see anything.

Eichi: The sea. Hmm, this is a strange match.

Yuzuru: What do you mean?

Eichi: Actually, it's a bit early to say, but there are plans to build something like the second facility of SANCTUARY.

I called you guys today because I wanted to talk about it.

Yuzuru: The second facility of SANCTUARY? You are planning to create such a strange amusement park again, Eichi-sama?

Eichi: Yes. And the amusement park is scheduled to be built in the sea.

« Prologue • Chapter 2 »

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[cactusenokioko]

The cake is a lie

A girl slowly waltzed into the room. She knew for sure that no one could see her. After all, she chose a hall without cameras or windows. She twirled to the beat of the music in her head and quietly hummed to herself a melody known only to her. Her hands lay on someone invisible as they should: one on the shoulder, and the other in someone else’s palm. She led this dance - her partner danced poorly.

She came up with everything for herself, she was disappointed and now she's coping with my pain herself.

Well, that's her business. Moreover, she did not blame anyone for what had already passed and what was happening now.

She never wanted what was on the cake to come true. The cake is a lie. Are they dancing the waltz? Can't be! Will never! He's not the one she needs. There was nothing like him on the cake and in his life.

Step - turn, step - turn.

Her inner Mason would never be able to admit it to herself, but she wanted to dance a waltz with Adam. I even trained while no one was looking. It always seemed to her that it should be incredibly beautiful, that she would be in a beautiful, probably white dress, that they would be alone in a huge hall, as if there was no one left on the planet except them. She wanted them to be more than just lovers. One soul with him - that’s what Waverly lacked.

Step - turn, step - turn.

She picks up the pace. Her movements are becoming easier and smoother. She goes deeper and deeper into her thoughts. She clearly remembers the moment when she was asked to come see him. He sat in a dark room, in the corner, like a punished child. His knees were pressed to his chest and his head was bowed. He looked so bad that she felt sorry for this lost creature. Others called him the Devil, but he was just a confused boy. She wanted to feel sorry for him, but no more.

She was told that he was aggressive, but she realized that this was just protection. He stood up very quickly and approached her closely. The teacher remembers how her knees shook and her eyes closed. He should have killed her, but instead of the expected pain, she felt the warmth of someone else's body. He hugged her and pressed her tightly to him. Still not believing what was happening, she lowered her hands to his neck and also pressed him to her. For a couple of seconds it even seemed to her that it was him, that it was her Adam who was locked in this body and now he doesn’t know how to get out. She wanted to tell him something...

His words sank into the girl’s head: “I know why you are here,” he whispered while still holding her in his arms. “Everyone around us is deceiving us, so I don’t want to give you false hopes. Let me just say that I'm not the one you need. Just like you are not the one I need... I’m sorry, but it’s true.” She wanted to fall through the ground. He also simply felt sorry for her.

Step again - turn.

She cried for a very long time that day. And after that she never agreed to meet with him. She knew that he would not want to see her because she was not the same. The realization turned out to be a heavy feeling, pressing on the head and chest. She's really not the same. She is not Mason, she is just her unsuccessful replacement. Just a toy that was given someone else's memories and character. Getting used to this thought cost her dozens of sleepless nights spent in tears, three broken mirrors and... Partially her sanity.

Her waltz became more and more lively, her movements more gentle, and her song became louder. Now she sang in full voice, leaving everything that bothered her, including the cake, behind the wall. She no longer cared about her own appearance. Time no longer existed for her, and neither did this hulking white body. She could again live in other people's memories without remorse. At least here and now she was not bothered by her own “students” and a small danger in the form of an unknown person who called himself “parent”.

She understood everything perfectly. And she understood from the day when the only one who was honest with her opened her eyes to what was happening around her. Her waltz replaced her fight with her own pain. Her voice, still beautiful, drowned out the uncomfortable memories. She made a couple more circles and finished the dance, bowing in a curtsey to an invisible someone. Only lamps shone in the room, but she saw in them the light of a long-forgotten sun. There were no radiators, but a pleasant warmth spread and flowed through the body. Finally, she was who she was - Banbalina. A teacher, a girl without a past and without memories, created in order to become a replacement for someone.

Her new starting point is a new dance and she constantly promises herself to hold out until the next time.

She won't go crazy as long as she has a dance whose movements need to be perfected, a song whose words cannot be forgotten. And we need to get rid of the cake... It’s a lie. They will never dance together because they are not the ones who need each other.

[lilover131]

Chapter 70 Analysis

I’ll be frank right now. This analysis was hard to write. It’s hard to write not just because of how absolutely wrong all my theories were (lord, were they wrrrrrrrrrrrrooonnng), but because this chapter made me unexpectedly very emotional. I’m just speechless and cannot believe that CLAMP got me again like this. I just find it absolutely amazing how Ohkawa’s writing can steer you in a direction and make you think you know what is going to happen, and every single time, she turns you on your head. Fucking incredible. I honestly don’t know how she manages to do it. Just…everything clicks now and I see the puzzle in front of me showing its picture, and it’s beautiful and also so so heartbreaking at the same time.

 I’m not going to post a gif or image of the month this time, simply because I don’t feel like there is one that really is suitable.

Also, I apologize in advance for the crappy quality images in red of the screenshots I took. The English chapter has yet to come out in good quality and is currently only available on Youtube, so I had to make do with the red colored pages for now. 

 With that said, I’ll get started on my thoughts.

The color page this month is so stunningly gorgeous and it fits the theme of this chapter so well. It is beautiful and warm but also has a melancholy feeling that can’t be shaken. Sakura has a face that looks as if there is something missing, and by the end of this chapter, we know why.

 Admittedly, when the chapter first started, I was very confused. It seemed to jump straight to Kaito using the EXCHANGE card without time for anyone to stop it, thus making my theory that Syaoran would fight to keep it from happening completely wrong. Lol. But I’m not upset about this. Not seeing a Syaoran sacrifice made me relieved, at least for the moment…(I’m still not ruling that shit out for the future. Haha)

 But I wondered what it meant to see Sakura now as the Red Queen and Akiho as Alice. Did this mean Kaito had switched their lives after all? It certainly seemed to be the way things were going, and I was worried that he had been successful and wondered what the repercussions of this would be. It’s been well described in other CLAMP series (-cough- Tsubasa -cough-) that changing the fate’s design like this ultimately creates huge ripples and damages in the world around it. There is a reason it is considered forbidden magic after all, because of course if one could simply undo things or swap lives with people, why wouldn’t it happen all the time?

 The first thing noticed though in particular was that it wasn’t just Sakura and Akiho that seemed to swap in roles. The very outfits themselves were changed. Some of you might recognize them as the first versions of the outfits that Tomoyo had made and decided to start over on as they did not feel right to her. It seems now that this is because these outfits were originally designed for them to be in swapped roles, so Tomoyo’s intuition here seems to reign supreme again but also makes me wonder for the millionth time how she doesn’t have magic (lol). Another difference seems to be that Syaoran has taken on the role of cat in the originally intended method of just voicing rather than acting on stage. Initially, this also worried me as the reason he had done the role on stage physically was to be by Sakura’s side in case something happened, so by seeing him not do this, it made me curious as to whether his relationship with Sakura was still the same.

Moreover, we must keep in mind that the title of the story had also changed from what was originally written. Before, the story of the play was called “The Two Alices” (which now I realize is super sneaky Ohkawa!) before Naoko made a last minute change and titled the play “Alice in Clockland”. Even the story itself seems to have deviated from what we saw before in the previous chapters. Alice Akiho mentions that her family had a fourth chair at the table always open, but she never understood why. And Red Queen Sakura mentions how she doesn’t remember how she became Queen and only ever remembered being in Clockland. The story soon seems to develop to reveal that the Red Queen is actually Alice’s twin sister who was lost long ago. It seems to also have a happy ending with the Red Queen returning home to her family.

 Back on the rooftop of the school, Kaito and Momo are speaking. She asks him how he feels now that he has gotten what he wanted, which is still unclear to us at this point in the chapter.  He claims to be relieved that Sakura finally created the card he needed before Momo goes on to explain to us readers (bless her) on what has occurred. And boy, is it a doozy.

 The first thing was Sakura’s wish, which was simply to switch roles with Akiho and be the Red Queen instead. That seems fairly harmless in nature, but the second wish was for the artifact inside of Akiho to be exchanged to Kaito for his broken pocket watch. Naturally, taking on the artifact is absolutely huge because it was this very thing that the Squid Clan and the Association wanted to keep to themselves desperately. It was their grasp at power, which was all they cared about in this world. Additionally, Kaito had explained before that this artifact had already absorbed so much magic that if it took on anymore that it would crush Akiho’s soul, so what are the implications of that now in Kaito’s body, which undoubtedly already has a ridiculous amount of magic in it? We know already that he has shown no care for his own well being, so this seems to be more dire a situation than he was in before.

 Akiho now has Kaito’s broken watch, but she still has no magic in her body, so she could not use it even if she wants to, so this will not impact Akiho in any way. She seems to be completely free of the binds that tied her to her awful family who wished only to use her as a tool and did not acknowledge her as a person.

 But Kaito took it one step further…

 The scene changes to the end of the play where the girls are being applauded for their performance. Naoko tells them that she knew they were perfect for the role of Alice and Red Queen. And I’ll tell you right now that when I was initially reading this chapter, it was in French (because the English chapter wasn’t quite out yet), and I had to use Google Translate. Upon translating the next speech bubble, I found myself absolutely fucking speechless and wondering if I had typed something in wrong or if Google messed up the translation.

 Not only did Kaito take the artifact away from Akiho, but he also rewrote the past so that Akiho was born as Sakura’s twin sister. I think I can safely say that a majority of us had thought that Kaito was intending to swap Akiho and Sakura’s lives so that Akiho could have a happy life and Sakura would take on the misery Akiho endured. And I feel terrible now thinking he would actually do something so cruel, seeing as he honestly hasn’t really done anything to deserve that opinion. When you think about it, he never actually harmed anyone at any time, and even the trouble he caused was still much less dangerous than even what Eriol put them through (think about it, Eriol nearly had Syaoran cut Sakura in half when he controlled him with threads!). And additionally, most of the trouble was actually caused by Sakura herself with her out of control magic.

 Was Kaito shady? Absolutely. Was he secretive and somewhat manipulative? Of course. But does that inherently make him a bad person? After this, I just can’t see it. What I’ve always enjoyed about Kaito particularly is that he always keeps you guessing. You never know exactly who’s side he’s actually on, and I’ve rather enjoyed learning more about him because of that. But one thing that always remained unfettered was that he cared about Akiho. In fact, Akiho seemed to be the only thing he ever showed any care towards (other than maybe her mother, but we still don’t know exactly how that story ended, and I’m sure we will learn more soon).

 And now that we know what his intentions were, I cannot help but see the clues written all over the wall absolutely EVERYWHERE. CLAMP has literally been dropping hints for years, and I can’t help but be angry for missing it all! Granted, that was the point, but fuck I can’t help but be impressed by the writing just for that alone. Every single mention of how similar Sakura and Akiho were, the mention of them ‘synchronizing’, even Akiho’s fucking name! I have always had a feeling that Akiho’s name wasn’t always Akiho because it felt odd that she had a Japanese name despite being born to English parents in England, but now I can’t help but think that Kaito had her change her name so she could fit neatly into her new life. And still in my head I cannot forget that one scene in the anime (episode 10) with the SNOOZE card where he came to pick up Akiho, and Sakura and Akiho said something with the same reaction at the same time, and Kaito just laughed. I always wondered why he laughed like that, and now it makes complete sense. He was laughing because he had always intended to make Akiho Sakura’s twin sister, and it was funny to him because the two of them were already acting like twins.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlT4JhTNgVg&ab_channel=AnimeCat

Not to mention the many many scenes of Kaito seemingly investigating all aspects of Sakura’s life, like her father, Touya, the house she lived in, her mother, Syaoran, etc. He did all of this because he wanted to make sure Akiho would have a good life with Sakura’s family, and that she would be surrounded by those that would protect her. And like…I know many of us noticed this and theorized he was doing this because he wanted to swap Akiho with Sakura, but I feel awful that I never considered them being twins as an option and assumed the worst. What he proved here by making them twins was that he wanted to save Akiho, give her a better life, but without taking away from others in the process.

 But there is one major problem with this wish… or rather two.

 Momo looks to Kaito and tells him that even with his magic, he cannot contain the power of the artifact. It is at this very moment that the pages of the book artifact appear beneath his feet, and some of his memories begin to show in the pages. It was when he was younger and had volunteered to go with Akiho on her journey to absorb more magic. Both the Clan and Association did not like this idea and showed distrust towards him, worried that he’d try to use the artifact for himself. But they decided to make a ‘compromise’ (assholes) by stating that he could take Akiho on her journey if he accepted the ‘Seal of D’. This seal is actually a curse that is intended to keep him in check and will activate if he tampers with the artifact in any way.

 Kaito seems to agree to this without hesitation and is warned that he can never break this seal, and if he does anything to ‘the artifact’ (god I wish they would talk about Akiho like the human being she is), he “can never return”. Do those words sound familiar? CUZ’ THEY FUCKIN’ DO TO ME.

 It turns out that the voice we have seen and heard in the manga and anime several times saying “You can never return” was directed at Kaito. The strange disembodied voice in Sakura and Akiho’s dreams was that of one of the Clan/Association members telling Kaito he could never go back if he broke this vow. And this also explains why Kaito had such a grim reaction when Akiho brought up those words before from her dream. It’s because he knew exactly what those words meant, but he still decided to go through with this anyways. From the very beginning, he knew he was going to sacrifice himself, and although we had our theories about this for quite some time, it is absolutely confirmed now.

A magical seal appears over his chest, almost undoubtedly at this point the ‘Seal of D’, and in my initial read, I again was using Google Translate on the French pages before I saw this text, and it fucking broke me.

I started crying almost instantly. To know that he was a boy that grew up caring for nothing, wanting nothing, liking nothing…to say that the very spell that will undo him is the first spell he ever wanted to use. It’s fucking heartbreaking, and for the first time other than when he laughed, I could see a smile on his face that I knew was 100% genuine in every way. He’s not hiding anymore. It is the smile of someone who feels he has just fulfilled his purpose in life and is ready for the end.

 Momo emulates me and most of the fandom by shouting and crying that he’s an idiot before he completely vanishes within the pages of the book. Sakura halts briefly, having felt something, but appears to brush it off, and lord I wish she wouldn’t have. The rooftop is now empty with neither Kaito or Momo, and the chapter ends there (because of course it does).

 -Wipes tears and blows nose-

 Okay, so this chapter messed me up emotionally, but I honestly loved it. It’s so beautiful and devastating at the same time, but I think I finally have an idea of where the story will go from here. Sakura still should have her magic and she has already developed the ability to remember things despite rewinding of time etc. But I think RECORD will also play a part. The card has been extremely useful in showing things that didn’t even happen in the real world, such as her dreams, but it has also been shown in the anime to show records of past events that happened prior to Sakura even being born and never experienced. I also think the watch will play a part. We know now that Akiho has a broken pocket watch and will likely not be able to remember where it came from but have melancholy feelings when looking at it or some sort of heart ache. I think this watch will assist in bringing Akiho and Kaito back together.

 The ‘Seal of D’ also appears to have the same kind of appearance as the dragon from Sakura’s dreams, so I believe that the curse the Association and Clan put on him will have turned him into this dragon, and that he is currently roaming the world of the book. Because Sakura’s dreams showed the dragon in Tomoeda, I think that he will somehow break through the book in this form at some point, but there is still definitely the question about the Cloaked Figure, and it is still debatable who that will end up being. We know that part is still to come as Sakura has yet to wear the ‘sleeve’ she mentioned before that she would have on when she finally meets the Cloaked Figure for real. 

 God, just when you thought the climax was finally here, it seems we haven’t even reached the tip of the iceberg. This is most definitely why CLAMP needed another full volume to finish it, and I’m all for it.

  I am so fascinated to see the next chapter and what this new timeline is like. Does Akiho know about Kero and Suppi etc.? What has gone on exactly in regards to the Clear Cards? And what about Syaoran? Does he still have the Sakura cards? What are the actual ramifications of this massive timeline change? And Lillie? What happened to her if Akiho was never born her child, and how did this affect Nadeshiko?

 SO MANY QUESTIONS!!

 But we’ll get answers here real soon, and I look forward to talking about them all with you! See you next month!