#and I really am just talking in hypotheticals right now to make a point

[amphitriteswife]

hello! I saw that you also write for wind breaker! So could i request ‘what would you do if i like someone else’ for Joker, Owen, Vinny and Wooin?

‘What would you do if i liked someone else?’

Joker’s munching came to a halt. The apple that was supposed to be in his hand gently rolling on the floor. He only took one bite and it’s already dirty. What a waste. A few seconds of silence felt more like years. Joker flickered his gaze between the apple and you. Huh? He never thought about that. What should he actually say to this? ‘Err….’ Joker looked back at his crew. Wooin was snickering and enjoying the difficult question you asked your stonehead of a boyfriend. Vinny and Hyuk were busy debating on how to beat jay in the next race, arguing who will be up to him it not. Joker scratched his head, perhaps his teammates aren’t the best people to ask for advice when it comes to love. Ugh they’re useless! ‘Well? I’m waiting Joker.’ Joker looks back at you, thinking hard. A few soft humms escaped his lips. Was there a right or wrong answer to this? He didn’t really go to school…nor is he very experienced when it comes to love…’hm…i would challenge them to a duel in the pit!’ Wooin heard Joker’s answer and burst out laughing, doubling over and making the other boys rather confused as to why he was laughing. Vinny just sighed at Joker’s answer and Hyuk didn’t even grasp what was being said. ‘…my point stands.’

‘Why would you ever want that?’ Owen wasn’t even answering your question, but you could see the rather dangerous shadow casted on his face. Typical, Owen doesn’t answer such questions. You should know that by now. And even if you do, you���ll continue to ignore it. ‘Why not?’ Owen pauses for a moment. Isn’t it obvious??? A soft sigh made it’s way out of his parted lips. Seriously? Are you really. REALLY. Going to make him say it? Come on now. You know what would happen. Don’t you? His face switched from confusion to disbelief to annoyance. Ugh…you’re relentless you know? ‘Why would you ever fall for someone other than me? I’m your boyfriend.’ Your shrug made him sigh again. Why are you so chill about this question? It’s not funny. At least, not to him. ‘Cause it just happens like that. Bruv.’ Owen’s eyes snapped open. He hated the fact his accent gave away that he was British…now you’re using British slangs with him. ‘Don’t. Call me bruv. And no you’re not making sense. Do you like someone else? Who is it? Jay? That fucker…isn’t Shelly enough for him? Why do you like that geeky boy too? Am i not enough? ‘Dawg it was just a hypothetical question-’ ‘No. No it’s not. Start talking. Is it jay? Spill it. Now. I want to know. i’ll kill them.’ Owen is not having any of your excuses or reasonings. He. Wants. To. Know. Is it jay? You’ll end up in a rant from Owen about how Jay stole Shelly and is now trying to steal you from him too. Watch out, cause bro might actually march over to Jay- free jay🙏

Vinny snapped his head towards you. His gaze landing on yours. He seemed a little tense, but his expression was unreadable. He didn’t have much emotion present. But knowing Vinny, he was probably internally utterly confused. ‘Why are you asking me that?’ Vinny’s voice sounds rather tired, afraid even. He’s not insecure about the relationship. Not at all. He’s just realistic. He knows that he’s probably just a leech. He’s not rich. He can’t give you much. He knows it. You don’t even have to tell him. ‘Thought it would be funny.’ Your words made Vinny close his eyes, a soft breath gently leaving his nostrils. He hadn’t even realized that he was holding it in. He feels so relieved…partially that is. It’s not like he wouldn’t understand why you would…it speaks for itself. His eyes casted down onto the floor. What should he say? ‘What u thinking about. It makes you look sad?’ A look of confusion hit Vinny’s face. ‘The question you asked me?’ Vinny watched you scratch your head in confusion. Your confusion made him even more confused. What’s going in your head. ‘What question?’ ‘The one you asked me.’ ‘I didn’t ask anything.’ ‘You…’ a long slightly aspirated sigh escaped his lips, Vinny’s hand waving at you dismissively. He’s kind of glad that you forgot. He wouldn’t want to be all emotional…it’s just not his thing to vulnerable. He prefers to just not focus on every pathetic part of his life.

‘You wouldn’t.’ Wooin’s short response made you stunned for a moment. help why was he so quick to answer? ‘What do you mean.’ Wooin’s eyes only glanced on yours trough his sunglasses for a moment before going back to the screen of his phone. The sound of his lollipop in his mouth clanking against his teeth while he pulled it out his mouth. ‘I know you wouldn’t.’ This time, Wooin didn’t even look up, his eyes growing bigger in interest at the game he was playing on his phone. ‘Why.’ You questioned him, snatching the phone he was playing on. A grumble escaped Wooin’s lips, his hand trying to snatch it back. ‘ANSWER!’ Wooin let out a long sigh, drooping back into his seat. His eyes hidden behind his big sunglasses. You tapped your foot against the floor impatiently, still holding onto his phone which had ‘GAME OVER’ in big red letters. Wooin’s face soured at the words. He hates losing. Even when it’s just a game he can play again. ‘It’s cause you’re weird you idiot.’ You stopped, blinking a few times before scoffing at him. ‘You’re weird too.’ Wooin looked unimpressed by your attempt to insult him. He knows he’s weird. A total freak 😛.That’s what makes him Wooin. He ‘ugh!’-s at you. How can you not get it? ‘We’re perfect cause we’re both weird as fuck. You’ll never find someone as weird as me.’

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

The Fun Kind of Sparring

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

Minors do ¡NOT! interact. This is not for you.

A/N: I haven’t seen the Boys and won’t BUTT that finale, amirite??? So in honor of the glorious return of Jensen Ackles, maybe the finest man who’s ever existed- seriously, when the aliens invade, show them him and they’ll be besotted by his beauty- I wrote this for all y’all SB lovers. Just note that I do not endorse any of this man’s actions, and if you do… the fuck?

I think it goes without saying but this is not my picture, it belongs to EW. (Too tired to make icons 💪)

Anyways, icons by me and all interaction-especially commentary- is appreciated!

Content/Content Warning: straight filth. The mouth on this man is crazy. Diddle that skittle.

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It really had just been sparring. A little one on one, if you will. Me and Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy and me.

If it were anyone else, being pinned down to the ground would be the opposite of erotic. It would be annoying, and I’d be flailing around, trying to hit my partner in the balls.

But with Soldier Boy? We’d been skirting around each other since The Boys broke him out. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve been skirting around him, he’s made it more than a little obvious that he’s into me. I don’t know if it’s that he just wants a quick lay or what, but because I’m unfortunately attracted to him, I don’t really care.

Especially right now, when I’m pinned under him on the gym mat.

“Y’know, we shouldn’t do this,” I stall, no meaning behind my words.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he humors me. His lips are mere inches away from mine, his hair falling against my forehead. And I think I’m drunk on the scent of his pungent aftershave.

“I mean, you’re like, what, 103?” I ponder aloud, trying to distract myself from the fact that the Soldier Boy is rested over me in a plank, shirtless. That I can feel his warm breath on my face. That it smells like peppermints.

“104, actually, sweets,” he corrects. He’s had this shot-eating grin plastered on his face since he managed to wrestle me down, because like me, he knows exactly how this is going to end. But unlike me, he’s not remotely hesitant about showing it. And because he’s a jerk, he’s making me make the first move. But I’m not ready quite yet.

“104, right,” I mutter. “Older than my grandpa.”

“Smart girl,” he just goes along with everything I’m saying, letting me stall. The mischievous glint in his emerald colored eyes never ceases.

I nod slowly. “You are a very attractive grandpa,” I state, my tone far away as if I’m talking about him while he isn’t on top of me. Ohhh do I want him on top. You know what I mean.

“Thanks, sugar. But I think I’d prefer ‘Daddy’ if we’re going for the titles,” he says cheekily, still making no moves. I on the other hand am blushing the brightest red. Between the nicknames and Daddy, it’s too much to handle.

“O-oh,” I stutter, swallowing thickly. “Noted. But, uh, aren’t you more into… more mature women?”

“I believe all women are mature. I don’t discriminate, sweets,” he says, his shit-eating grin somehow eating more shit.

“Very feminist of you,” I say sarcastically.

“Damn straight,” he agrees.

I bite my lower lip. “You’re very experienced, right?”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but yes, I’d say so,” I can tell that he can tell that I can tell that this is volatile, just moments from going somewhere.

“Okay, so I guess my last question is this: how would you go about it. Y’know? With someone that you hypothetically wouldn’t treat as someone you paid for? That you’re sort of friends with?” I have to know. I’m too nervous for him not to lay it out plain and simple for me, I need to mentally prepare myself.

“Well, firstly, I think I’d have to know my girl likes it,” he gives me a pointed look.

“Your hypothetical girl,” I correct.

“Sure, my hypothetical girl,” he agrees. How has he not broken a single sweat this entire time? He’s been in a plank over me for the last however long it’s been and it doesn’t even affect him??

Quit getting distracted.

“Maybe she likes it rough. She wants to feel it for a few days,” I suggest, feeling my stomach knot at the notion. I’d been consistently growing wetter since he put me under him, and my arousal shows no signs of stopping.

“Okay, so I’d give it to her rough. Work her up until she’s begging for it… maybe I’ll- I mean, I’d- use my mouth first, taste her pretty pussy before I get my dick wet.” It’s all I can do not to moan at the dirty words falling out of his plush lips. Not to mention his honeyed transatlantic 50s accent… I’m so fucked. In so many ways. “Probably get her to come at least once, cause I’m sure she tastes as sweet as she looks.”

“Uh huh,” I mumble, the sound coming out higher than it should as I look at him with wide, attentive eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong, even before then I’d be marking her up and down. So that way everyone can see who made her feel so good, who got her walking so funny,” he backtracks. And again, the notion is far too good to be true. But the promise in his voice? It’s real. “I’d have to get her ready for my cock, stretch her out with my fingers. Start with one, but she’d be so wet that that wouldn’t even do anything. She’d be begging for more if I just did two, so I’ll give her three, make that needy cunt happy,” he muses. And it’s so, so erotic. And I’m ready to just lean up and kiss him, make him do all the things he says. But I’m captivated by his words, his narration- I think I could come from it alone. “I don’t know if I’d let her come again then. Because I think she’d be begging for my dick with how good my fingers feel stuffed in her tight pussy.”

Mother. Fucking. Hell. Oh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He shouldn’t be real. These words should be banned from his vocabulary, because I am on fire right now.

“Where do you think this hypothetical girl would want me to come?” he asks out of curiosity, smirking. Probably at the way I’m looking at him like a bitch in heat.

“In her,” I mumble.

“In her where?” he asks smugly, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it.

“Ben,” I whine in protest.

“Oh, c’mon, tell me,” he chides. “For the sake of the story.”

“In my-her-pussy,” I answer in a breathy whisper.

“Good girl,” he praises, and it’s all I can do not to keen. I have to be soaked through my shorts by now, there’s no way. “Well, what I’d do next… that’s simple. I’d fuck her until she cried, and then I’d keep going. And I’d keep going until the only thing she can remember is my name, until she’s gooey and clingy and a sweet little fucked out thing, all for me,” he finishes, his grin from before returning back to his face. I’m losing it. I can’t think straight. And yet- he’s still waiting for me to make the first move. Son of a bitch.

“O-okay,” I clear my throat, unable to find my senses. “And if that hypothetical girl was me?” We both know it’s me, I just need to hear it.

“Well in that case I think I’d be the luckiest bastard who ever lived,” he says sincerely, looking at me with a gaze that can only be described as pure adoration and lust. Yep. That’s it for me. I lean up and kiss him with as much force as I can muster.

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In the meantime… want more Soldier Boy?? Try Taming The Supe <3

[pennyblossom-meta]

L quotes from Spiraling Trap

Followup to my meta: Analysis of the romance in Death Note's Spiraling Trap

Here's a collection of my favourite quotes and misc from L in the Spiraling Trap game. These can be accessed from the L Communicator in-game. Perhaps some are from the main game, but I'll group them in sensible lists by category. Except for the obvious romance ones, I won't try to categorise them by number of hearts, but rather from how formal -> warm L becomes in speech.

L says a lot of sweet and insightful things depending on the season, his relationship with the MC and the time of day. I've thoroughly enjoyed discovering these quotes (though some I could only get from the translated patch files) and thought others might be interested in them as well.

Without further ado, let's go. I'll be filing this post under my helper section for writing L in case anyone wants to use these quotes for fanfiction. At the very least, they're interesting to analyse his speech patterns when in a hypothetical romance.

Romance

1. L becomes gradually less formal and wary around the MC

As a note, L refers to the MC by their First Name, which will be henceforth signalled as [F/N]

Aren’t you bored? You don’t have to check in on me. That is all I have to say. Please drop by any time. I’m a little curious about you, [F/N]. Are you having a good time? I’m just curious. You’re kind of… Ah, no, forget I said anything.

These below are interesting in that L is being rather sweet and caring towards the MC. He wants to know them, but approaches it cautiously. Bit like a moth being drawn to a flame. He wants to spend time with the MC and shares his thoughts often.

Here, you can take a break from the investigation and talk to me. I’m sure you know that brains are powered by glucose. I’m forever trying to recharge mine. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Though, I’m not really one to talk… Staying up late talking to you… It makes me feel calm. Are you sure you don’t need to sleep? I’m all right, but… I’m childish and I hate to lose. Are you the same? I know this is out of the blue, but do feel itchy? My ankle is a little… Why don’t you try sitting like me when you need to think? You might find it helpful. [F/N], I hope you get to see me do some kicks next time. I do capoeira. [F/N], you seem to be incredibly talented at picking snacks that hit the spot.

There's a point in the game when L becomes more and more visibly infatuated with the MC and his romantic side starts to shine. He gives compliments freely, and while still cautious he's more confident about displaying his feelings.

[F/N]… You’re pretty formidable. It’s reassuring to have a partner like you. You’re someone I can trust. The fact we’ve become so close was an unexpected development on my part. [F/N] you’re the light that illuminates the dark night. That’s an exaggeration of course, but… What I need to live is glucose… and to talk to you. Nourishment for my brain and heart. When we’re together, I feel like there’s no problem we can’t solve. [F/N], when I talk to you, I feel very at peace. The time I spend with you is as important to me as the sweets. For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond. When you have time, I’d like to take you to a shop that makes the best sweets. When you’re free, how about we play tennis together? I will have Watari reserve a court. If something were to happen to me… I want you, as the person I hold dearest, to carry on the L moniker. When my thoughts hit a dead end late at night, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. But, having you here makes me feel reassured.

Some of the following quotes occur when the relationship is at 5 hearts.

I learned from you that sweets are the bond that brings people together. You give me true peace of mind. No one could ever replace you. The way I am now, I… I can’t think straight when you’re not around. You understand, don’t you [F/N]? What my heart so strongly desires is something more… When I talk to you, I feel like my senses are sharpened. Thanks to that, my radar has become more sensitive. That was a great decision. Don’t tell me, [F/N]… Are you a mindreader?

2. Times of day

Here's a few quotes related to times of day. I found it very sweet how L respectfully questions the MC for their preferences.

Morning

Morning has come, [F/N]. It appears to be morning. A new day is upon us, [F/N]. When dawn breaks, surely… I wonder what today is going to bring. I wonder what kind of morning this will be. It seems the air outside is crisp this morning. Today is going to be a better day… Let’s think positive. Eating breakfast is important. You shouldn’t skip it. Are you a morning person? Not that it really matters, but… How are you today? I’m the same as ever. I feel good this morning. Maybe it’s because you’re here. Today is going to be a remarkable day. Let’s think positive, [F/N]. This is our morning. I want to share this day with you. Good morning. It makes me really happy to see you here. Mornings like this give me the confidence to solve difficult problems.

Afternoon

It’s lunch time, [F/N]. The sun will set soon. The day has gone by so fast. It’s nearly sunset. Time for children to go back home. Spending the afternoon with you isn’t so bad. What are you doing this afternoon? Oh, should I not have asked? [F/N], what do you think of when you see a sunset? How was your day? Mine was the same old, same old. It’s noon. I hope I can be of use to you, [F/N]. The afternoons I get to spend with you are precious to me. Being able to share this sunset with you, I couldn’t ask for anything more. Some people get very sentimental when they see a sunset. I don’t have the luxury of such time.

Evening

Tonight… No, it's nothing. I want to finish what I need to get done before night falls. It’s evening… Time flies like an arrow. It has gotten very late. It’s already getting dark… I don’t think I’ll be able to get any sleep. Looks like night has fallen. It’s night. Another day has just flown by. It’s the middle of the night. Night is here, [F/N]. You’re up at this hour? There’s something different about the air at night. Night-time… I guess the day’s already over. Night-time, dusk… It’s the witching hour. It’s already evening… Time keeps passing me by. Evening, hm? I’m feeling pretty on the ball right now. If you just stare into space, night will be here before you know it. Even though it’s late, you’re not going to bed, huh? You must be a night owl, [F/N]. Are you a night owl? Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want. [F/N]… Do you think it’s going to be a long night tonight? You know [F/N], night is… the time to hone your thinking skills. The darker it gets, the more I can feel my focus return. It’s thanks to you, [F/N]. It’s night. You’re not going to sleep yet, [F/N], are you? We’re both late workers, huh? That makes me happy. It’ll be night soon, but talking to you gives me energy. The evenings I spend with you are always a pleasure. When I can eat something you’ve picked, my evening is made. If I’m talking to you, I don’t feel sleepy even though it’s late.

Seasons

These seem to allude more towards romance.

Your feelings have been received. (Valentine's Day) Valentine's Day Chocolate? This wasn’t part of my calculation. After all, you are… Valentine's Day Chocolate? I can tell the difference between romantic and obligatory gifts. Oh, a birthday cake? Did you go out of your way to get this? I’m sorry for making you go through all that trouble. The number of candles is fitting, isn’t it? Happy New Year. I hope you have a wonderful year. Today’s White Day, isn’t it? Thank you for always bringing me sweets. It’s not Valentine’s Day, but… It’s not the right time of year for it, but thank you.

As a fun note, you'll notice that L is very keen on receiving season-specific sweets, otherwise he'll get disappointed.

Spring

They say spring is the season of new encounters. I wonder what encounters are waiting for you. The day before spring starts is Setsubun, isn't it? Do you do throw beans? I never really bother. It’s a staple of springtime snacks in Japan. A typical offering for equinoctial week. It’s practically a symbol of the cherry blossom season. Cherries? It is the right season for them. The spring breeze is nice, but… It must be a tough time for hayfever sufferers. Cherry blossom season… Seeing cherry blossoms at night is a mystical sight, don’t you think? I never understood Golden Week. People rush off to crowded places only to come back tired.

Summer

Out of all the things you could have chosen in this hot weather… Shiruko? Don’t forget to stay hydrated to combat the hot weather. When the weather is like this, doesn’t it just start to make you worry about global warming? Instead of getting angry with the sun, it’s important to keep a level head and take measures against the heat. It's beach season. The cobalt blue water of the sea...It must be salty if you lick it.

Autumn

Something with chestnuts for autumn? That makes a lot of sense. Ah, come to think of it, September 1st is Kiwi Day, right? Autumn has come. The sun is setting earlier every day. Autumn is the time for eating, reading and playing sports. This time of year really is the best for reading crime novels. Feliz Cumpleanos… I thought I’d celebrate in Spanish. Obon is here. The time to welcome and then see off the spirits of lost loved ones… It’s sometimes called the ‘Festival of Souls’. Today is Thanksgiving Day. I am truly grateful to Watari for his diligence. It’s the time for autumn leaves. They say babies’ hands look like maple leaves, but no one ever says the leaves look like hands.

Winter

You need to watch out for colds and viruses at this time of year. Look after yourself. Shaved ice in the middle of this cold season…? It’s the perfect drink for the cold season. Merry Christmas. I doubt Santa can find this location, though. It looks cold outside. It’s best to stay inside where it’s warm. Happy New Year. I hope we both have a good year. It’s New Year’s Eve. Let’s welcome this new year with peace of mind. Ski season, huh? It must be exhilarating to ski in a snow-white landscape. You wake up one morning to find the whole world covered in snow… This is the time of year when such things are possible. Another year has come to an end. There are still a few loose ends I have yet to tie up, but I think it was a good year. Even though Santa Claus comes in through a chimney, he never gets charged for trespassing, huh.

Misc Quotes

About K

This sequence might refer to K from L: Change the WorLd, though I'm unsure how gender translated from JP to EN. Otherwise, it's another of the 'letters' from Wammy's.

Once upon a time, K used to work with Watari investigating criminals. The reasons K left Watari… I may be one of them. I caught the criminal that K was trying to let slip away… Now that I think about it, that must have been the trigger. K felt that there was a limit to law-abiding criminal investigations in the wake of a certain incident, and split from Watari. While K was working with Watari, he felt that the motive behind a certain crime justified it, and wanted to let the perpetrator off. After he left Watari, K traveled around the world doing research. I wonder what he found…

Philosophical thoughts

When you get stuck, you should go back to the basics, huh? If you start to consider double bluffs as well, there’s just no end. I think the power to solve mysteries is concentration. Every night is followed by morning. Every mystery has a conclusion. Two sides of the same coin… The flip side of the same coin… is the same coin? It's always darkest before the dawn… or so the saying goes. If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets. “In spring one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn.” Though, too much sleep isn’t good for anyone. If you think about things persistently, noticing all the sides to them will come naturally. When something’s got the words “a la mode” in it, it suddenly sounds a lot cooler. It’s the kind of night that makes me worry about the Stars. Ah, I mean the criminal group, not the sky. Being childish is a surprising useful weapon. So is hating to lose. Being extremely childish sometimes trumps half-baked maturity. If you take your time, you will always find evidence. Isn’t that true for all investigations? Solving crimes is the ultimate diet. I won’t put on weight. Strawberries… Despite the name, they aren’t actually berries. How berry disappointing. Thinking too hard isn’t good for your stomach, but there are times when you just have to push through it. Sleeping while awake… It’s an advanced technique where you rest part of the brain while still being able to think. Like a marathon runner’s high, if you throw everything into deducting, you start to feel euphoric. The one who has thought it through wins. It’s true for chess, and for deduction. But in the case of love… I don't know.

Musings

Right now, they’re probably… I’m bored. Two sides of the same coin… After this, I need to… Am I reading too much into it…? Um, Watari is… I thought I’d calculated every possibility, but this… Somewhere, they must also be… I’d say it was about 70% right now… Maybe tonight… I’ll have to test that theory next time. Mmm… Thank you for that, Watari. If I start to lose my touch… I guess I’ll retire. Another day, another mystery… I wonder if Watari’s asleep? What could Watari be up to? The plan for today is… right. I have a lot of thinking to do. 50%… No, 30%. Come to think of it… That’s right. Um… Nothing to report. I should ask Watari about it next time. I feel like doing some capoeira… I haven't played tennis for a while. Watari will explain the details. Don’t you have stuff to do? The weather today is… Well, it matters not. I, um… No, ignore me. I’m not really sure what to say, but thanks.

Dislikes

Did I enjoy it? Let me just say “no comment”. I don’t really understand what your intentions are, but thanks. You seem to have an ulterior motive. To tell you the truth, there are many other things I would have preferred. I think I would have preferred something else… Oh, please don't be offended. “I wish I’d never tried it”, but… please don’t take it personally. Is this how it tastes? I see. I think I would have… No, it’s fine. I’m quite positive that’s… Well, I’ll let it slide. That aside, I do prefer… No, never mind. [F/N], I hate to say this, but I really would have preferred something else. [F/N], you must know that I was hoping for something else, right? [F/N]… It’s not my favorite but, it made me really happy.

About sweets

Ah, a sugar cube… A cute light-blue lollipop. Has a refreshing soda taste. (about Shiruku) This is the taste of a Japanese winter. (about cherries) …I tied it together. Ah… Ham and melon? You brought a parfait? Very interesting. Wait… So that’s what it’s all about. The balance was just right, I enjoyed it. Ah, this is soft serve ice cream? I normally eat the outside first. I ate the leaf as well. Vanilla, huh? The classic approach. I really like this flavor. It’s extremely sweet. Mint Choc Chip? I wasn’t expecting that. It’s not my birthday, but… The crunchy cone is nice too. I licked the wrapper too. I reckon today’s an ice cream day. In England, they call it “jelly”. Ah, a Mont Blanc?|I can’t say I was expecting that. It tastes better if you give it a good stir. The color of a cooked crepe depends on the amount of sugar in it. I heard that the white strings that come from the peel are good for you. I heard that it originally came to Japan through China. A doughnut in its purest form. Its simple but delicious taste is impossible to tire of. I think the word “doughnut” sounds better than “donut”. You do realize I’m a man, don’t you? Well, I’ll accept the chocolate anyway. A luxurious and fragrant crepe with juicy pieces of ripe melon. Bittersweet marmalade makes this crepe a bit more mature. Colorful, cute dango. Three flavors on one stick. I was just thinking that I really fancied one. If you eat it too fast, you get brain freeze. Rum and raisin, hm? Rum is primarily made from sugar cane, isn’t it? Ah, birthday cake. Is it your birthday today? A special oversized Valentine's chocolate made with love. (might be an item description) Come to think of it, I don’t suppose chashu pork and watermelon would make a very good pair. Chocolate Swirl Ice Cream? My eyes are drawn into the pattern. The dango are squishy, but the sharp point of the skewer can be used as a weapon. Do you think the rumor about the everlasting lollipop is just an urban legend? In French, “choux” translates to “cabbage”. Not that it really matters.

Cravings

I want something to eat. Sweets… My sugar fix… It’s late. I can feel a craving coming on. My rational processing is powered by sugar… I’m waiting for my midnight snack. Thank you. It was delicious. I want to feel 100% refreshed. I guess you could call it a favorite of mine. The sun’s set. I’m in the mood for something sweet. It’s lunch time. I can feel my mouth watering. It’s the kind of morning that makes me crave sweets. I want a midnight snack so badly… That was right up my alley. I really appreciate it. Noon… My brain is telling me I need something sweet. I can’t focus at all this morning. I need some food. I want some food so badly I can almost taste it. Both my mind and body are craving a mid-morning snack. It’s noon. Something to keep my mouth company… Ah no, I wasn’t trying to suggest anything. I can't stay awake any more without sweets.

[waywardstation]

About the reblog game--is the POV going to stay on Ingo the whole time or are we going to get Akari randomly showing up incredibly confused and possibly falling from the sky again

On that note, did Akari even get sent back? Some of your works sort of imply that Arceus is kind of cruel and it won't let them go back together, so is she like fistfighting it right now to get sent back too? It would be absolutely GUTTING for Ingo to finally remember Akari only to find out that she never got sent back and then yet again start to beat himself up over the hypotheticals <3

As far as I know, it will just stay with Ingo. It’s planned to so far, but of course a winning option could always change that!!

And yes, Akari got sent back too, they just got sent back to their respective regions! It’s something that’s supposed to be made clear later on (if this story ends up going the projected way, at least) and we have not reached that yet, so yes it’s not very clear right now. But she got sent back and is now back in the modern day, same as Ingo!

I do hope to continue this comic soon, I know we reached the goal but I’ve been unable to work on it lately because of my neck ;-; I hope I can do so again soon!

And as for my interpretations, I have many, many thoughts about Arceus. I do not intend for Arceus to be cruel (it’s actually meant to be rather the opposite, Arceus is supposed to be extremely hands-off but compassionate, not intervening but offering guidance and help. There is emotional distance and no attachment or personal sentimentality; Arceus helps in situations it’s present in where it realizes it can be helpful, but it does not seek them out. If that makes sense (Like if I see a bug drowning in my pool while I’m swimming in it, I will scoop it up and watch over it as it dries itself off until it can fly away. But I do not go out of my way to go out to my pool and search for bugs that need help every day. Best way I can describe Arceus being hands-off but compassionate).

But of course no one really knows this interpretation in my works yet yet except for me, as I have not published the works that focus on this yet. (And to be clear, this characterization would extend to this reblog comic too)

As of now, all that people have really seen from me that I can recall is that Akari has expressed worry that they will not be allowed to go back together and Ingo will have to be left behind, so she will force Arceus to let her take Ingo back with her if she must. So yes Arceus sounds cruel lol, but it’s really Akari just assuming and preparing for the worst in an unknown scenario.

More about my interpretation of Arceus below, and how it relates to my overarching narrative in my fics.

Here is a piece I’ve been sitting on for a long, long time. But again because of my neck, don’t know when I am going to finish this art. A handful of people saw this sketch last year (and it is almost a year old now which makes me sad ;-;) but it is for my overarching canon that I have built for my fics, most of it becoming relevant in works that have not been published yet. Stuff in the stained glass depictions probably do not make sense yet because of this, apologies.

BUT it is Savepoint AU. I’ve talked a little about it before but some things have changed since then. Basically as it is now, both Akari and Ingo are not from this time. The timeline is trying to clean itself out (as it does with Pokemon and things that manage to stick around after space-time distortions) and get rid of them.

Arceus brought Akari to this timeline. Arceus has made save states for Akari (think like literally saving the game), something like an instance of how she should be (healthy, unharmed) as a reference. When the timeline tries to take her out (think like when you black out in PLA after taking too many hits from wild Pokemon, drowning, falling too far, ect.), Arceus reverts her body back to a previous save point where she was healthy and unhurt. Arceus brought her here for a reason and it wants to ensure she can finish the task. It will send her back when she completes it, so the timeline stops going after her.

Ingo was not brought to this timeline by Arceus. Ingo does not have save points. Ingo does not have a promise to be sent back home when he finishes his task, as he has no task to complete. Not because Arceus doesn’t care about what happens to Ingo, but because Arceus had nothing to do with Ingo’s arrival, and Ingo has nothing to do for Arceus. Ingo is just not really on Arceus’ radar, it’s focusing on Akari.

When the timeline starts trying to take Ingo out, he does not have save instances like Akari does to fall back on. For a while, Akari just relies on Arceus sending her messages through the arc phone about when something will happen (a method that Arceus employs once Akari has made it aware that Ingo is important to her, still without intervening) so that she can help Ingo avoid these incidents and stay alive, until she can finish her appointed task and bring him back home with her (as I said before, in her words, she’s going to do it whether she’s allowed to or not. She doesn’t know Arceus’ stance on things).

But this method cannot work forever, surely. And it doesn’t. Without spoiling anything, Akari begs Arceus for another way to keep going at Ingo’s end, and in its empathy, Arceus complies.

I’m looking forward to when I can get these works out and finish this piece. I think about Savepoint AU constantly haha.

As a last thing, I’ve attached this song. Practically all of it really works with this AU and I would like to do some sort of PMV for it eventually. But there are several lines in here that connect well with Arceus’ relationship with them in this AU as well from Ingo’s POV.

You held your hand in mine And then it felt so clear That you were in the air And I think so was I - Ingo does eventually receive care and protection from Arceus, but only through Akari’s insistence that he does. He experiences what Akari has been blessed with this entire time, and the difference is noticeable.

There’s a part of us in you And I was a fool Thinking it was me - Arceus is with Akari and protecting her, but it is not with Ingo nor is it protecting him. Before Akari came along, Ingo believed he was ‘protected’ too though, somehow managing to escape this timeline cleanse fate (yes, he did know about it technically from seeing what happened to space-time distortion pokemon), but he had not; it only started late.

Something outside my vision - Arceus, in relation to Ingo. It is not there for him, it does not appear for him, and has not reached out to him like it has for Akari. But it does eventually make itself noticable to him, it’s just not made itself comprehensible to him like it has to Akari.

[gotham-daydreams]

i had a really random idea that activated a neuron in my head and wanted to share here if that's ok— neglected!reader and friend!reader crossover. increased angst potentials, increased relationship struggles.

idk if it's just me, but the cold knowledge and sudden realization that your family was only ever interacting with you to use you as a means of getting close to their original target (who i will be assuming is a friend of yours)? you should be feeling glad that they're finally, *finally* interacting with you, but it just makes you feel more sick. they talk to you, but never want to talk about *you,* if that makes sense, always their target. half-hearted attempts to try and be more discreet, but you can tell they really just want to probe out info about your friend from you. perhaps this even cements your belief that "oh. they're never going to care for me the way i used to care for them."?? im sick i will explode and become atoms for this hypothetical reader's sake. leaving them, and the family realization that in their own selfish goals, they lost something more valuable. only makes sense for them to get it back.

but perhaps it can also be them originally them trying to again, use you as a bridge between said target, only to become more obsessed with you somewhere down the line of continuous interactions. idk lots of thoughts here i am happy big and mentally normal about these giant group of costumed losers !!

I am in love with this idea... especially because you can do it both ways (with the reader either being a part of the fam, or just a 'friend' of one of the Batfam members that they kinda forgot about until now)!

I'll go into Acquaintance! Reader later, so for now I'll focus more on this other neglected sib reader :]

Can you imagine how absolutely heartbreaking finding out that they're just talking with you to get something out of you, at first? Like, okay, maybe reader is suspicious at first, of course, because why the hell is the family starting to acknowledge their existence now? Was it something they did? Something that caught the family's attention? Etc., etc., but the point is that maybe with a little effort and too little time, they begin to have a little hope. They began to think that the family actually cares about them now.

Like yeah, sure, they kind of dismiss their questions when the reader tries to bring up the changes and why things couldn't be like this before, and have an odd habit of giving short answers and moving onto other topics concerning their friend when the reader, again, tries to press even a little bit more for answers or responses, but that's just how it is, right?

It's nothing personal... the reader knows that, and even if it hurts sometimes, it's nothing to worry about, right? Besides, they wanted this... didn't they? They wanted to be noticed, to finally have the family's attention, to have something and they're finally getting that! They should be happy, grateful even... and they are! But... is it so selfish to want more? To want the family and some of their siblings to even be a little interested in the things they do? Instead of just asking about their friend all the time?

Maybe the reader even gets a little jealous, envious, even, as this goes on but I can see them being content with little. Ultimately a little scared to ruin a good thing, and to ruin this for themselves... even if it definitely doesn't feel as good as they had hoped it would be oh so long ago.

... And then, they figure out the truth. Either from overhearing some members of the family talking about it, other friend of theirs points it out/puts that idea into their head, or they just... notice it. Hell, all three of those things could happen - with the reader knowing on some subconscious level that things aren't as they seem and that the family is definitely trying to get something out of them (a thought they had at first, that didn't fully go away), and another friend of theirs (that the fam isn't going crazy over) sort of points out that it looks like the batfam is just using them to get to whoever (and maybe the reader dismisses it at first, but that moment only further plants that idea into their head), and the reader keeps noticing all of these little things from that moment and onward... only for everything to come crumbling down once they finally overhear that conversation.

Once they hear some of the members discussing what they should ask the reader, how they should go about it, and hell - maybe for the irony of it all, maybe even joking about the reader finding out about their little 'ploy'. Even going so far as to laugh and say how the reader will never find out because they're too stupid, too desperate to even really entertain the idea to its fullest. How even if they do think so... well, they can just string poor little reader along and distinguish the idea before it even becomes a problem. How they could use that to just further rope the reader in, and make them feel guilty until they forget all about the very idea of the family just using them... further securing themselves to be one of - if not the only - closest people to the reader, and therefore, much closer to their fixation.

It's... more than just heartbreaking for the reader, but not quite world shattering either. It's some odd in between feeling that hurts all the same. They knew, sure, and they always had the suspicion- but it fucking hurts.

Somehow, knowing hurts more in that moment - just the reader knowing and having their suspicions confirmed hurts worse than anything they've ever felt. It doesn't quite feel like betrayal, or maybe it does - they aren't sure, but at the same time that description doesn't feel quite right. Though that's because they feel partially at fault. Like they did this to themselves, and they do feel guilty, but for only putting themself through this.

They should've known better. They should've listened to their gut. They should've never let this happen- they are at fault as much as the family is...

But can they fully blame themself? They got a glimpse of what it was like to be part of the family. A glimpse into the life they always wanted... could they really blame themself for taking that chance when they saw it? For trying to seize that opportunity even if it was never really there? Could they blame themselves for trying to look past all the signs, because they too wanted something out of it? Because they just wanted to be part of the family that badly, even if it was all a lie?

It hurts, and the reader leaves quietly. They don't burst into the room and confront everyone - no, they just walk away. Too consumed in their own grief and feelings to do much else besides that. I imagine that they don't even make it to their room, and hell, maybe one of the other Batfam members find them, but just looking at them makes the reader cry harder.

If they literally run away from the person, or not, is really up to interpretation at the moment, but either way they manage to find some alone time to themselves, and just... let it all out. The reader, in that moment, allows themself to grieve over the lose of a family they never had, and after all is said and done, I can imagine that they try to distance themselves- but are smart in how they do so.

The reader tries to get the family closer to their friend, while also limiting the amount of the the reader is actually around both the friend and the family. Basically just trying to put everyone in a position where they don't need a middleman - where the reader doesn't have to be involved anymore, and basically just... giving the reader an opportunity to truly distance themself from the family.

Sure, the reader might still try to hang out with the family's current fixation, but I can see them be willing to sacrifice time with that person just to further get away. It hurts to do it, and they don't want to, but they figure that, with enough time, once the family chills the fuck out, they'll hopefully be able to sort of go back to how things were. If not? Then... well, they'll just have to learn how to live with that, and they hope that their friend can forgive them.

Don't get me wrong, I could totally see the reader trying to find ways to get their friend out of the position, but the batfam is one tricky foe.. so they settle for what they can, but maybe they're still trying to do what they can. (Or maybe they think that this is the best course of action since... well, maybe they overheard some other talks afterwards? Who knows)

It could also be that, through the reader's attempt to leave, and them trying to eliminate themself from the equation entirely could be a huge turning point for the Batfam in terms of them turning yandere (aka, if they weren't yan before, they definitely are now. and those that are, are even worse than before). A real "you don't know what you had until it's gone" kinda deal, and it's gotta be hilarious to see the fam just scramble for something, and to kind of 'catch' the reader until they're truly gone... which, to add to the humor- the reader is probably already trying to move out of Gotham by that time LMAO

[izumiphoenix]

Poison ☠️ or Knife 🔪

Trigger warning: discussion of death (BG3 companion dialogue analysis) 

Continuing talking about the early camp conversations with Astarion, can’t pass this one!

I am not sure what is the general take on it, I haven’t seen any posts about this moment yet. I didn’t even know about it until recently. But I have to say – I actually quite like this one.

That night Gale starts another grave conversation, listing to you all the symptoms of ceremorphosis that they were supposed to be going through right now and how it's suspicious that they are not. If you go talk to Astarion, there'll be another interesting conversation.

Astarion starts with an observation, saying how you still look fine, no tentacles growing and all. He points out though, that while it is nice he won't take this for granted – the moment you start changing he will have to stop "that pretty little heart of yours." 

Astarion: “I’m not taking anything for granted, of course. First sign of change and I’ll have to stop that pretty little heart of yours.”

Then he asks how would you prefer to die – if you refuse to choose anything or say you'd prefer others to kill you, not him, he will be disappointed, a bit hurt maybe, and approval will drop. 

If you start choosing something or ask his preferences and then choose – he will get all excited talking about the details and all. The scene ends with him saying: let's get some rest, the sooner we start tomorrow, the better our chances of keeping this hypothetical. 

I believe it might be an unconventional topic for conversation, and even off-putting. Especially when it’s just the beginning of your game and you don’t quite understand how bad your situation really is.  

But I can’t see it as a threatening or disturbing kind of conversation at all.

First of all, Astarion is not the only companion who raises this topic.

Lae’zel is pretty upfront about where she stands from the beginning – any tentacle abomination is to be eliminated on the spot. And she does actually attempt to do that later.

 Shadowheart asks what would you do if she turned, and then casually states that she’d kill you.

I just love how she probes you early in the game, evaluating you until she concludes you can be trusted. They share this with Astarion, but while his approach is setting up a scene and inviting you into discussion, Shadowheart sets up these little traps and tricks and curiously watches how you deal with them before laying down her cards.

Ahem. But I got distracted.

So these threats are going around the camp, and it makes sense – they need to be realists and survivalists if they want to live. They barely managed to defeat the brain devourers, and a mind flayer is a whole other level – so if one of them turns, they all are doomed. Besides, they also might assume at that point that by turning into a mind flayer, you are losing yourself too – so it's also about releasing you from that existence too, a mercy in a way.

But while Lae’zel and Shadowheart say they’ll just kill you at the instant, Astarion somehow manages to soften the sharpness of it.

He is the only one who asks your opinion. He offers you a choice – something he hasn’t had for a very long time. And he tells you he knows how to make it as painless as possible for you.

Asking your opinion shows respect and care: even if it's something inevitable that we might have to go through, at least let me do it the way that will make it more bearable for you.

Of course, there might be another reason – he is being careful, he isn’t sure he in a position to openly threaten someone yet. They are walking around and looking at each other suspiciously, checking for any sigh of another one turning into a monster. He is already one. He is too vulnerable to start pointing fingers.

But I think it’s him genuinely reaching out again. This is their second night, at least the early one. And I think that quiet joy from the first night is still there. So he brings up this in an engaging way, adding warmth and curiosity to a grim topic.

Astarion: "I'm open to suggestions. Knives, poison, strangulation - whatever you'd prefer."

Also, the way Astarion perks up, happily discussing the details of each choice with you – what kind of knife to choose, what poison would be better. He talks from experience – almost like it’s a hobby, or a strange special interest. It is his field of proficiency, and he seems to be enjoying talking about something he knows a lot about.

But is that all? As a simple mortal not immune to vanity, I like to think I know Astarion fairly well by now. Of course, that’s just my take, and others may see it differently. But what I hear in that moment isn’t just the excitement of someone discussing their... morbid little hobby. His voice gets higher, words are rushed – that’s the way he talks when he’s deflecting, when he’s trying to pretend he’s fine but he really isn’t.

How does he know all this? Not from being a magistrate in Baldur’s Gate, I suppose.

Did Cazador send his spawns on other kinds of missions, not only those that included luring people into his dungeon? Did they involve stabbing, poisoning, stealing, spying?..

Or did Cazador try on them all kinds of weapons and poisons in his tortures?

Was it Astarion who wondered sometimes if there is a way to die and free himself from this life? If you ask him what kind of death he’d choose, he goes through the list, seemingly casually, but there is sadness in him. And surely, decapitation does seem like a more reliable way to end a vampire spawn’s life, compared to a knife or poison.

Astarion: "I don't think poison is for me. Or stabbing, come to think of it." Astarion: "I've always felt decapitation was a fine choice. One good swing and then - nothing."

He speaks out of proficiency, but wherever it comes from can’t be any good experience.

It reminds me of something I felt myself from my experience or conversations with others – when you had something unpleasant in your past, let’s say a surgery, and someone mentions a hospital, a process of a surgery or an issue that you had. And you all perk up and start excitedly sharing your knowledge, giving advice on how to prepare yourself, maybe remembering some funny situations you had back then – back then you were scared and in pain, and now you are laughing, because it is over, in the past. But this topic still can’t leave you indifferent.

There is another branch in the conversation, when you name your preference first, and then, in the end, ask how you should kill him, which causes Astarion to laugh:

“Ha! My dear, I’d like to see you try.”

A player may read this moment in many ways, but I like to see it as an attempt to return the gesture. As I mentioned before, ending your life while you are still yourself – before becoming a mindless monster – can be seen as an act of mercy. He offers you that choice. And here, you try to offer him the same.

But Astarion deflects with a laugh. And as always, I think there’s more than one layer to that. So here are my thoughts:

This is Act 1, and power dynamics are still the center of his world. He can’t risk letting you believe you could kill him easily – that would be too dangerous. So he plays the part of the dashing, invincible rogue.

At the same time, he knows he’s already undead – not fully alive, but not allowed the peace of death either. Physically, he is harder to kill than a mortal. And yet, the gesture he offers you might come from that very knowledge: he understands how horrifying it is to lose yourself, and so he promises a way out.

Later, we see just how much Astarion fears becoming something else again. He flatly refuses the astral-touched tadpole. He tells you how agonizing it was when he was turned. He’s terrified of losing himself once more.

So he gives you an escape – but when you try to return the favor, he brushes it off. Maybe it’s too vulnerable, trusting someone with that kind of mercy. Maybe he doesn’t believe he deserves it at all.

And so, as always, he hides behind his charm and turns it into a joke.

This got much darker than I originally intended. But what I was trying to say – yet again, even so early on, Astarion genuinely reaches out, trying to connect and be seen. While Shadowheart and Lae’zel treat it more like "business is business,” Astarion reveals this deeper emotional layer when you engage.

And risking to sound weird, I must confess – I know for sure that I wouldn't be put off from a conversation like that. I’ve had discussions on similar topics with different friends at least several times, the last one was "what kind of death do you think is the easiest?" And happened literally several weeks ago.

That's the kind of absurd and strangely intimate conversation that you can have with ones you know will understand where you are coming from. When you trust you can bring up some unusual thought experiments and you won’t be judged, but you’ll all safely explore this in your minds.

So this also can be a display of building trust – or rather, a hope for it – from Astarion. And once again, I can’t stop being amazed at how open he is to hope, despite his life being hopeless for the last 200 years.

[princessbrunette]

stepbro john b with a nympho reader? :PP

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎀𖦹🍨₊ ⊹༘⋆

you’re openly ravenous, and it kills him. any other guy would be thrilled to have a girl as hot as you flaunting herself round in a bikini all day, throwing yourself at him. but john b had a good heart, although lead astray the brunette was often set on doing the right thing. what he thought would be the responsible thing to do, and despite jj’s constant goading — that didn’t entail boning his little step-sister.

“you ain’t never watched step porn? the fuck do you even search on pornhub, bro — holding hands? love making?” the blonde scoffs as he leans his elbows against the rickety wooden barrier, casting his fishing line over it.

“i don’t really watch— ugh, whatever. i can’t do that. it’s tempting, oh trust me — i am incredibly tempted, but… i was left in charge of her, okay? i—i can’t just take advantage of her like that. she’s probably just all messed up because both our parents left us for dead.” john b sighs, shaking his head out at the open still water. jj squints at him for a moment like he’s dumb before checking his own rod.

“take advantage of her? dude she’s practically offerin’ it up n’dangling it infront of your face. you know what i say? you just take the risk, show her how a real man does it, tell her enough with the slutty little girl games. s’what i’d do anyway.” he shrugs hypothetically.

“really jj? thats what you’d do?” john b blinks, deadpanned as he glances at his best friend, barely entertaining his rambling.

“sure would. look if you’re not gonna swoop on that shit i hope you don’t mind me tryin’ that door. she’s hot, man.”

the idea of jj trying you out didn’t sit well with john b. the way you acted sometimes was like you were famished, starved for dick, like it was your life line and your step brother was the only one who could save you. jj oddly had a way with ladies, he was brutish and pogueish and the girls knew he fucked rough and dirty. john b can’t see you resisting that, especially as you know it’ll get to him.

that’s why he walks straight into your bedroom with all the confidence in the world, and loses it the second you turn and look him in the eye.

“okay.” is all he says and you furrow your brows, already slinking towards him like there were magnets attached to the two of you.

“okay what, john b?” you tilt your head. everything you did, every little move and micro expression you made seemed to be a seduction tactic. a spell that couldn’t be broken because he was just a simple minded guy that thought with his dick at the end of the day.

“uh…” he lifts a hand up to scratch the back of his head and you take the opportunity to eye him, delighted to see that he was already half hard from the thoughts running through his mind. “yeah this was… not my finest idea aaaand, i didn’t really think this through—” he starts to talk, and momentarily distracted you take his tanned hand, pulling it to cup your cunt. “uh— so… that’s your pussy.” he deadpans obviously, lost for words.

you grin and nod, eyes fluttering when his muscle memory kicks in and his slides a thumb over your covered clit, nothing but the material of your bikini bottoms separating you. “nothin’ gets passed you, big bro.” you tease, pushing your body closer to him.

“so this step-sibling… conundrum… really doesn’t bother you. like, at all?” he clarifies, big brown eyes locked in on your lips as you stand on your tiptoes, breath now mingling and lips just nearly grazing his.

“uh-uh. s’not like we’re related.” you reason, and when it comes from your sweet voice he can’t argue.

“jesus.” he sighs into your mouth, practically sharing oxygen at this point. “you know what? fuck it.” he takes the leap, pressing his mouth to yours as to which you let out a delighted squeal, immediately jumping up on him, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“we’re gonna have so much fun, john b.” you muse, almost happy to a sinister degree as you wrap your arms around his neck. he blinks up at you, guilty but sinfully aroused and presses his bulge between your split legs.

“thats the plan.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎀𖦹🍨₊ ⊹༘⋆

[elefunt]

Post-Gender World

I wanna talk about a hypothetical post-gender future: Imagine a world where all children are raised gender neutral, being able to pick any and all clothes, toys, activities, etc. with nothing being thrust upon them. All children are offered hormone blockers before they start puberty because of the myriad (thank you Heathers) of reasons someone might want to delay growing (scared, unsure of what they want their body to grow into, medical reasons). Then, between the ages of 14-20, everyone is encouraged to choose both a name and a set of, what we today call, neo- or xeno-pronouns to be their own. To use myself as an example, I've chosen the name Fable and to keep my story theme might use tale/tale/tales/taleself. There's a long list of pronouns to choose from and it is common for people to make up their own. Although people are only expected to choose new identifiers once, most people change names and pronouns between 2 and 4 times as they learn more about themselves through age and experience. There's a handful of people who are constantly changing identifiers to the point it gets confusing. This may come from black-and-white thinking (this is what I am right now and so I will always be this and need to change everything about myself to match it) and impulsivity (I've found what I am and am going to declare it immediately with no further thoughts), but it can also come as a form of play (today I'm playing Princess so I'll use the name Antoinette and go by Heir/heirs/heirself, tomorrow I'll dress up as a rabbit and use bun/buns/bunself and be called Peter).

In this world, 'male' and 'female' and 'non-binary' (and specific labels under those umbrellas) are a thing of the past. Instead of using premade goalposts to align yourself between, you are taught how to create your own goalposts for identity/self-expression and how to figure out where you align on these newly created axis. No one really cares what label you use for your gender and many people don't even think about it, instead choosing what puberty to go through based on what specific by-products of that puberty they may want and getting surgeries or area-specific hrt to correct ones they may not. Sexuality is also rarely labeled. As opposed to today's heteronormativity there's a pannormativity meaning that the norm is to not really care about what's in someone's pants until you're either planning out how you want to have sex or actively having sex, and even then it's purely so you know what you physically can and can't do together. The only sexualities that survived from today are asexual and aromantic as allonormativity sadly still prevails. But, just because romantc and sexual attraction is assumed doesn't mean people are discriminated against or ridiculed for not meeting those assumptions, its just that people on the ace and aro spectrums have to declare that they are. What do you think about this world? What do you like or dislike about it? How does it mesh and conflict with your concept of your own gender? What would your name and pronouns be in this world?

[genderqueerdykes]

i think that certain parts of the community are starting to become more and more exclusionist. like im starting to see a lot more pro-lesboy spaces say "lesboy doesnt mean trans man/cis man! full men cant be lesboys!" or pro-mspec monospec spaces say "mspec monospec doesnt mean being both things for the same attraction! it means being mspec for sex/romance and monospec for the other!! no one is a romantic mspec AND monospec at the same time!" or just. Things like that.

i did not see this ask until now and am i glad you sent it

short answer: yes, agreed, it's petty queer infighting that doesn't need to be happening

so from what i've noticed is most of online queer discourse really at the end of the day is about what an individual person thinks that queer label isn't, and not what it is. people are very nihilistic right now, and really love to take everything in bad faith. we're seeing a rash of reactionary content in general where people take their knee jerk reaction as their stance on an entire complex concept that requires time to digest and process. like literally the most farfetched dogshit take you've ever seen because they just found out about a concept and bullshitted and answer.

certain people wanna think they're experts on queerness overnight because they just realized they're [xyz] or whatever other reason they want to be the expert on queerness. really what it is is people who want to tell other people what it is, but not listen. like it really just is people who want to say "this is how queerness works. shut up because i'm the only one who knows why. don't ask me for a reason". like it's about control. it's about people who have never done any research into queer history in any country on any continent, has not interacted with their local queer community who still want to have a captive audience about what queerness "really is". so instead of learning history and talking to other people they tell you how they feel and spin it as the truth.

other people just send the most bizarre angry posts, asks, DMs, whatever, about how they hate this 1 really specific kind of person that they've never actually met, but hypothetically they would hate. it's mind games. people get caught up in their own thoughts long enough to believe the hypothetical guy they made up isn't real. it's the strawman argument. i don't know what compels humans to do this but for whatever reason, people really love making up a fictional guy to get offended at. it's really bizarre. if cishet men wanted to identify as lesbians, they would literally already be doing it

if you know what logical fallacies are to some extend and have been around internet discussions in general for a long time, you start to recognize the patterns. it's a type of entitled attitude that leads a person to not be in a community for very long. it's a certain kind of person who gets a rise out of being a jackass. like i've tried to word that better. no. that's what it is. like people are aware of the fact that they're being a jackass and continue to do it anyway. people are getting a kick out of this. like. people are chasing the rush you get from fucking with someone. that's all it is. when people say "how can they be so cruel?" they're chasing a mental high that fades extremely quickly, so they have to keep doing it over, and over, and over.

it's like how do i put it. now that social media is so widespread, just about everyone has one on at least a few platforms at this point. people are being exposed to these conversations. and you're gonna have some complete noobs who come in thinking they can define lesbianism because they realized they were a lesbian yesterday and it's like. people will keep fighting the same tired old argument about how trans men can't be lesbians for the 9439030985th time and meanwhile they're ignoring the 50 trans male dykes interacting with one of their mutuals like i think it's literally dumb as hell that there are people on this website mentally abusing strangers on the internet because they refuse to crack open a book, read a zine or open a pdf and read the biographies of real world trans male lesbians, or even just read an article about one. like it's easier and more fun for them to pretend it's not happening it's wild as hell to me

anyway, yes. it's really stupid. people are getting caught up in all the wrong parts of what separates identities. it's the compulsion to draw lines in the sand that is forced upon us in our binary obsessed society. it is likely tied to black and white thinking, and catastrophizing, which both can happen when someone is stressed and looking at a situation in a maladaptive way, either due to perspective or neurotype. sometimes this legitimately can be due to someone's mental health, so it's not an excuse, but it's an explanation for why people get so riled up. those headspaces get you very heated and it's difficult to come down from. it requires a lot of time learning emotional coping skills to walk backwards from those types of episodes

[death-at-20k-volts]

On the subject of AI...

Okay so, I have been seeing more and more stuff related to AI-generated art recently so I’m gonna make my stance clear:

I am strongly against generative AI. I do not condone its usage personally, professionally, or in any other context.

More serious take under the cut, I am passionate about this subject:

So, first thing’s first, I’ll get my qualifications out of the way: BSc (Hons) Computer Science with a specialty in Artificial Intelligence systems and Data Security and Governance. I wrote my thesis, and did multiple R&D-style papers, on the subject. On the lower end I also have (I think the equivalent is an associate’s?) qualifications in art and IT systems. I’m not normally the type to pull the ‘well actually 🤓☝️’ card but, I'm laying some groundwork here to establish that I am heavily involved in the fields this subject relates to, both academically and professionally.

So what is 'AI' in this context?

Nowadays when someone says ‘AI’, they’re most likely talking about Generative Artificial Intelligence – it’s a subtype of AI system that is used, primarily, to produce images, text, videos, and other media formats (thus, generative). 

By this point, we’ve all heard of the likes of ChatGPT, Midjourney, etc – you get the idea. These are generative AI systems used to create the above mentioned content types. 

Now, you might be inclined to think things such as:

‘Well, isn’t that a good thing? Creating stuff just got a whole lot easier!’ 

‘I struggle to draw [for xyz reason], so this is a really useful tool’

‘I’m not an artist, so it’s nice to be able to have something that makes things how I want them to look’

No, it’s not a good thing, and I’ll tell you exactly why.

-------------------------------------------------

What makes genAI so bad?

There’s a few reasons that slate AI as condemnable, and I’ll do my best to cover them here as concisely as I reasonably can. Some of these issues are, admittedly, hypothetical in nature – the fact of the matter is, this is a technology that has come to rise faster than people and legislature (law) can even keep up with. 

Stealing Is Bad, M’kay?

Now you’re probably thinking, hold on, where does theft come into this? So, allow me to explain.

Generative AI systems are able to output the things that they do because first and foremost, they’re ‘trained’: fed lots and lots of data, so that when it’s queried with specific parameters, the result is media generated to specification. Most people understand this bit – I mean, a lot of us have screwed around with ChatGPT once or twice. I won't lie and say I haven't, because I have. Mainly for research purposes, but still. (The above is a massive simplification of the matter, because I ain't here to teach you at a university level)

Now, give some thought to where exactly that training data comes from. 

Typically, this data is sourced from the web; droves of information are systematically scraped from just about every publicly available domain available on the internet, whether that be photographs someone took, art, music, writing…the list goes on. Now, I’ll underline the core of this issue nice and clearly so you get the point I’m making:

It’s not your work.

Nor does it belong to the people responsible for these systems; untold numbers of people have had their content - potentially personal content, copyrighted content - taken and used for data training. Think about it – one person having their stuff stolen and reused is bad, right? Now imagine you’ve got a whole bunch of someones who are having their stuff taken, likely without them even knowing about it, and well – that’s, obviously, very bad. Which sets up a great segue into the next point:

Potential Legislation Issues

For the sake of readability, I’ll try not to dive too deep into legalese here. In short – because of the inherent nature of genAI (that is, the taking-and-using of potentially private and licensed material), there may come a time where this poses a very real legal issue in terms of usage rights.

At the time of writing, legislation hasn’t caught up – there aren't any ratified laws that state how, and where, big AI systems such as ChatGPT can and cannot source training data. Many arguments could be made that the scope and nature of these systems practically divorces generated content from its source material, however many do not agree with this sentiment; in fact, there have been some instances of people seeking legal action due to perceived copyright infringement and material reuse without fair compensation.

It might not be in violation of laws on paper right now, but it certainly violates the spirit of these laws – laws that are designed to protect the works of creatives the world over. 

AI Is Trash, And It’s Getting Trashier

Woah woah woah, I thought this was a factual document, not an opinion piece!

Fair. I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t partly rooted in opinion, but here’s the fact: genAI is, objectively, getting worse. I could get really technical with the why portion, but I’m not rewriting my thesis here, so I’ll put it as simply as possible:

AI gets trained on Internet Stuff. AI is dubiously correct at best because of how it aggregates data (that is, from everywhere, even the factually-incorrect places)

People use AI to make stuff. They take this stuff at face value, and they don’t sanity check it against actual trusted sources of information (or a dictionary. Or an anatomy textbook)

People put that stuff back on the internet, be it in the form of images, written statements, "artwork", etc

Loop back to step 1

In the field of Artificial Intelligence this is sometimes called a runaway feedback loop: it’s the mother of all feedback loops that results in aggregated information getting more and more horrifically incorrect, inaccurate, and poorly put-together over time. Everything from facts to grammar, to that poor anime character’s sixth and seventh fingers – nothing gets spared, because there comes a point where these systems are being trained on their own outputs.

I somewhat affectionately refer to this as ‘informational inbreeding’; it is becoming the pug of the digital landscape, buggled eyes and all.

Now I will note, runaway feedback loops are typically referencing algorithmic bias - but if I'm being honest, it's an apt descriptor for what's happening here too.

This trend will, inevitably, continue to get worse over time; the prevalence of AI generated media is so commonplace now that it’s unavoidable – that these systems are going to be eating their own tails until they break. 

-------------------------------------------------

But I can’t draw/write! What am I supposed to do?

The age-old struggle – myself and many others sympathize, we really do. Maybe you struggle to come up with ideas, or to put your thoughts to paper cohesively, or drawing and writing is just something you’ve never really taken the time to develop before, but you’re really eager to make a start for yourself.

Maybe, like many of us including myself, you have disabilities that limit your mobility, dexterity, cognition, etc. Not your fault, obviously – it can make stuff difficult! It really can! And it can be really demoralizing to feel as though you're limited or being held back by something you can't help.

Here’s the thing, though:

It’s not an excuse, and it won’t make you a good artist.

The very artists you may or may not look up to got as good as they did by practicing. We all started somewhere, and being honest, that somewhere is something we’d cringe at if we had to look back at it for more than five minutes. I know I do. But in the context of a genAI-dominated internet nowadays, it's still something wonderfully human.

There are also many, many artists across history and time with all manner of disabilities, from chronic pain to paralysis, who still create. No two disabilities are the same, a fact I am well aware of, but there is ample proof that sheer human tenacity is a powerful tool in and of itself.

Or, put more bluntly and somewhat callously: you are not a unique case. You are not in some special category that justifies this particular brand of laziness, and your difficulties and struggles aren't license to take things that aren't yours.

The only way you’re going to create successfully? Is by actually creating things yourself. ‘Asking ChatGPT’ to spit out a writing piece for you is not writing, and you are not a writer for doing so. Using Midjourney or whatever to generate you a picture does not make you an artist. You are only doing yourself a disservice by relying on these tools.

I'll probably add more to this in time, thoughts are hard and I'm tired.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I am so. gddamn. tired. of the infighting. I see transfems struggling and talking about negative experiences in the queer community and it pisses me off on their behalf, but then sometimes they blame it on transmascs and "tmes." I see transmascs talking about their negative experiences in the queer community and getting shut down and called hateful shit for it. I just fundamentally do not understand how people can have such a rigid view of oppression that they think men are never oppressed for being men because Man is a higher power category so you can't be oppressed for being that. Even if they're not oppressed for being men, oppression of marginalized men often relates to masculinity. The idea of moc and disabled men as being violent and predatory, for instance. I also see people saying the most bigoted shit and brushing it off as hyperbolic making fun of men.

(everyone who's ever joked about how men not keeping a space clean/having poor personal hygiene and asked who would even want these people owes me $20)

I've noticed that people keep getting reduced to their labels. In a discourse setting, you're not a person with a story and personality and likes and dislikes or anything. You're just a collection of labels. You're a white transmasc, a disabled poc, a black trans woman, a cis lesbian, etc. You're a collection of hypothetical social hierarchies. I feel like people forget that we're all just people. That person behaving badly isn't behaving badly because they're transmasc/transfem/any flavor of queer/etc, it's because they're a person being an asshole.

I'm just. I'm so tired. I hate seeing people hurting and I just want to protect everyone and I can't do that if they're too busy seeing me as a problem because I'm a trans man saying that I do face oppression, actually. We're all hurting so much right now and I just want to help people. I want to be able to do more to protect my people.

This ended up being a rant in your inbox without a point but I enjoy your posts and I'm always glad to see someone standing up for us. Thank you for that. I think you're a better person than you give yourself credit for.

(also, that ass. 👀)

Yeah it really is tiring. How about we treat people based on who they are, not the labels they've been given. Plenty of white, cishet men are homeless, or assaulted daily. People are more than just their labels, and I wish people would stop trying to rank labels from most to least oppressed. It's not a game, we're not keeping score.

Trans men and mascs are oppressed in the same, and different ways that trans women/fems are. This is a fact, not up for debate.

Man hating is so 2010 Tumblr. Let's move the fuck on.

(also, that ass. 👀)

Thank you <3. If you wanna see more, always open to sending custom/personalized stuff via DM. Ass, tits, whatever.

[snippybaby]

OK, enough people were interested in the Trent Reznor/Richard Patrick fanfic for me to post it, behold, below the cut.

Content note: explicit sex, hypothetical mention of SA, homophobic slurs

Up Above It / Down In It

“And in all honesty, me and Trent had a sexual tension all the time. He won’t admit it, but we used to make out for fun at clubs and stuff. But it got to the point where we were at the Sharon Tate house, and he was making out with me and I got a boner and he got a boner, and he didn’t know what to do, and he ran away.” – Richard Patrick

It’s one thing when they’re out at a club, and drunk, and showing off. Because that’s all it is, right? Showing off. A way to say fuck you, so what if we are faggots, why do you care? It’s for attention, it’s for shock value. When they’re out. But right now, they’re at the Tate house, the closest thing Trent has to a home, and they’re not drunk – they’ve had a few beers, but they’re not drunk – and no one’s around to see it and be shocked or grossed out or whatever. Someone’s in the studio – Richard isn’t even sure who, some guys Trent met a few days ago who he said could record here, even Trent doesn’t seem certain who they are – but they’re busy. Besides, if anyone else comes in, any of their friends or Trent’s hangers-on who drift in and out of this place, they’re not going to freak out. They’re used to it. They’d probably just roll their eyes. The idea that it’s just a joke, it doesn’t mean anything, is a polite fiction at this point, if anyone ever believed it in the first place. Rich isn’t sure whether he ever believed it himself. He’s not gay. He’s sure of that. The thought of fucking another man, in the abstract, is not appealing to him, and yeah he’s thought about it, who hasn’t? But he’s discovered there’s a difference between the abstract, and the reality of a lean body pressed against his, stubble scraping against his face, a tongue in his mouth. Trent kisses with a lot of tongue. It’s sloppy, it’s messy, not like most of the girls Rich has been with who are more tentative, reserved even when things are getting heavy. There was this one girl who wasn’t like that, she was more aggressive, it was fun, but she turned out to be a dyke. That’s who Trent reminds him of the most, which probably means something that Rich can’t really work out. 

It’s hot. A summer afternoon in LA. Both of them are sweating and never changed out of yesterday’s clothes, and they absolutely stink, but Rich likes it. It’s primal. It bypasses his brain, which is how this happened anyway, he’s not even entirely sure how it happened, one moment they were sitting on the couch, talking about some godawful movie that was on TV last night, then suddenly Trent’s on top of him. That’s always how it seems. That it’s just something that happens, like the weather. No point trying to stop it. Trent is growing his hair out, and it’s long enough to grab now so Rich does that, makes a fist and pulls on it slightly, and Trent seems to like it, he puts his hand underneath Rich’s t-shirt and scratches a little by his spine, which feels real good, and they’re so close it’s no wonder Rich is getting hard, that’s just a natural physical reaction. Then Trent’s getting hard too, their boners are touching, rubbing against each other through shorts and underwear, and it feels weird, kinda funny, really. Not bad. Definitely not bad. But Trent pulls away.

“Sorry, man,” he says, “I’m not – I’m not gay.” His hands are folded in his lap, covering his erection like a schoolboy caught out in class.

“I know,” says Rich, “neither am I.”

“Yeah.” Trent gets up. “I should… I’m gonna…” Gonna go, gonna leave, gonna hide in the bathroom and freak out probably. Rich surprises himself by reaching out and grabbing Trent’s wrist. Because fuck, why does Trent always get to start this and then not follow through? He stands up. He’s taller than Trent, and jerks him closer to make that even more apparent, looking down at him. Trent squirms.

“Let me go.” But he’s not really trying to break free. He could, if he wanted to. Rich tightens his grip.

“You’re such a fucking cocktease. I’m sick of it.” It’s true. It’s probably the first time he’s been honest with himself or anyone else about the situation.

“What are you gonna do?” He spits it out like a challenge, but that bravado, never very convincing, is wavering. Rich doesn’t answer. He doesn’t actually know. But he pulls and pushes Trent, who is still making a show of objecting, if someone came across them it really would look like Rich is about to rape him or something, into one of the bedrooms and shuts the door. He lets him go. Trent doesn’t try to run. So Rich kisses him again, then pushes him onto the bed.

“I’m going to fuck you.” It’s only as he says it that he knows this for certain.

“What if I want to fuck you?”

“I don’t care.”

Trent nods and stretches out with his arms above his head, arching his back like a cat. He’s wearing a baggy tank top and Rich can see his ribs as he flexes.

“There’s condoms…” he gestures towards the bedside table. 

“I know.” Rich unbuttons Trent’s shorts and pulls them down roughly, along with his underwear, throwing them to one side. Trent’s still hard, and Rich puts a hand around his cock, not jerking him off, just feeling the weirdness of having someone else’s dick in his hand, same but different to his own. Trent makes a sound, a kind of stutter. It’s fucking sexy. There’s something so vulnerable about him, there always is, and Rich gets now what’s really going on when Trent is throwing himself around on stage, breaking instruments, telling the crowd to fuck off. He’s daring someone to put him in his place. Rich gets rid of his own shorts and boxers – maybe it’s not gay if neither of them are fully naked – and fumbles around in the drawer for a condom. He tells Trent to turn over as he puts it on, and Trent does so, hugging the pillow and turning his head to one side, eyes closed like he’s waiting for a massage. Rich doesn’t like how passive he’s being all of a sudden. He slaps Trent’s ass hard, and Trent looks over his shoulder.

“Ow,” he hisses, “What was that for?”

“Shut up.” He pulls Trent’s hips back and there he is, Trent Reznor, fast becoming one of the world’s most notorious rock stars, face down, ass up. Rich hesitates. You’re supposed to use lube for anal, he learned that the hard way with a freaky ex-girlfriend, but there isn’t any except what’s on the condom. Without really thinking, he spits on Trent’s asshole. He realises it won’t do much to help, but it’s kind of satisfying in its own way. He decides not to worry about it too much. Trent says stuff all the time implying that he’s into S&M, bragging about it almost, so if it hurts he’s either going to be into it or too proud to let on that he isn’t. Rich enters him then, and Trent groans.

“Fuck.” There’s pain there for sure, he’s tight, but he’s pushing back for more too, and Rich starts to thrust, slowly at first, but it doesn’t take long before they’re both warmed up. It’s not too different to fucking a girl, except he doesn’t feel like he needs to be gentle at all, or nice, and there’s something freeing about that.

“Fucking faggot.” Rich doesn’t know where that came from, he’s ashamed of it as soon as it comes out of his mouth, but it gets a reaction — Trent makes a noise like he’s about to come.

“Say that again.” His voice is muffled by the pillow he’s pressed his face into. Such a cliche, so obvious for someone who prides himself on going against the grain, getting turned on by what the bullies called him in high school. But Rich can’t claim any superiority there, he gets off on the thought, now being proven, that he’s secretly a faggot too.

“Faggot. You like that faggot? You like getting fucked by a real man?” It’s stupid porn talk, and he’s glad Trent is facing away so he can’t see that Rich’s cheeks are bright red, not from the heat, but it’s working.

“Yeah, I like it. Oh God. Fuck.” He starts to move his hand underneath himself to jerk off, but Rich grabs him and pins his arm beside his head again. Trent fights back, more seriously this time. “Fuck you, man, come on.” Rich leans forward and puts his arm across the back of Trent’s neck, putting all his weight into it.

“I’m the one fucking you, so be a good fucking faggot boy and take it.” He’s getting into this now, he could get used to it, it’s fun being an asshole. Trent goes pliant, acquiescing, though he still looks furious, clutching a fistful of the sheets so hard his knuckles are white. Rich starts fucking him again, and he’s close. Instinctively he starts to think about how to calm down and draw this out, but there’s no reason to, so he lets himself go instead, coming hard and then collapsing on top of Trent, trapping him underneath him. He bites Trent’s shoulder and he’s not even sure what he’s doing, but it feels good. He can feel Trent moving his hips, fucking the mattress, and Rich rolls over and pushes him onto his back. He takes Trent’s cock in his hand and jerks him off, staring at the ceiling. It doesn’t take long, Trent moaning and whimpering, sounding totally pathetic, to be honest. There’s come on Rich’s hand and he wants to lick it, but wipes it on the sheet instead. They lie next to each other for a while without speaking, as if it will all only become real if they talk about it.

Trent gets up. He sniffs at the come on his shirt and makes a face.

“That was fun. I enjoyed it. I don’t think it should happen again, though, makes things too complicated.”

Rich props himself up on his elbows. “What if I want it to happen again?”

“I’m telling you it won’t.” He’s cold, now, using the same tone as he does in rehearsals when someone fucks up, fucking up being when they do something that isn’t precisely what he wants. He likes to remind the rest of the band, sometimes, that he is their boss, that they’re not a real band. Nine Inch Nails, after all, is Trent Reznor. Rich and the others are just there to make the live shows more interesting. A jolt of disgust goes through Rich. Self-loathing. He thought he was doing what he wanted, but it was only what Trent wanted all along. Now Trent’s done with it, done with him. Curiosity satisfied. Game over. He should have expected this. Trent writes all the music and the rest of them just play what they’re told to play. Why would this be any different? “I’m going to take a shower.” He pulls his shorts on without underwear. “Can you go check if those guys are done in the studio? I want to get in there later.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

It never happens again and they don’t speak about it. Years later, Trent says in an interview that he’s never gone all the way with a man, even though he used to make out with “the guitarist” in his band, unnamed, and all Rich can think is that he’s glad he got out of the orbit of that huge fucking hypocrite.

[its-the-blob]

when i took math courses in college, we did a lot of proofs. so how proofs work (I am simplifying this extremely because I am not really a 'math person'. i am just a girl who doesn't trust professors and wanted to take a lot of courses with completely objective grading criteria) - if a thing in math is always true, you write out a bunch of logical statements and construct an argument that shows the thing must always be true. but if you can come up with even one mathematically valid example where the thing stated in the proof doesn't have to be true, you can't prove the statement, because it's not always true. those were my favorite proof assignments because they were short. you write something like (hypothetically) 'I found a situation where 2+2 will equal 5 so i'm not socratically examining this thing for you it's fake' and turn it in and get an A. it's great

anyway this post is about fiction writing, because pretty much any time ever that I see someone confidently assert 'stories always have to do x thing!' (the key word is the always, or the never, or similarly absolutist phrasing) I can find a situation where a work didn't do that thing and it was wildly successful in any way you want to measure success. the thing stated in the proof doesn't have to be true. there is no proof.

There is no 'always' in any art form. There are things that are much more or less likely to be successful, but there are no mathematical proof equivalents. When I see people claiming there are, I usually get the impression that they are relatively new to the craft, and just discovered a new trick, and got excited about it, and that's wonderful!!! And whatever technique they're talking about is probably a really handy one, and they're worth listening to- to an extent. But now they're telling everyone to follow this important new rule they've just discovered. for every story. But that may not be the right choice for a myriad of reasons (an author may not want the effect that technique produces, that effect is achievable other ways, etc).

'Ackshully' some of you may say. 'I am a published author and I've been writing twenty years and' well you just told me (as a random example, totally not thinking of save the cat) there's always a big crisis in the second act of every story, all of them. even though an 'act', itself, is usually a wobbly term because if the work didn't put in act division labels- or even if it did in some cases- different people could look at the end product and reasonably divide it up in different ways. So that makes me suspect a) if you really believe that you're a hack b) if you don't really believe that, you're a grifter selling fake knowledge to people trying to get started with the craft, Or, c) you're not good at teaching writing because teaching and writing are different skills and that's ok, but you should stop teaching. 👍or consider recruiting a statler and waldorf style duo to point out whenever you're wrong

[boylied]

Animorphs Book Club- The Secret

I know I’m a week late. But here’s my review of The Secret. I’ve gone back to freelancing, and I just have less time now. At some point, I’ll probably end up just skipping a book post just to get back on track. But for now- 

This is honestly another book that I can’t really remember the plot right off the bat. But it’s early Cassie, so I have a good feeling. 

I still love the slice of life scenes we get. And honestly, learning that Cassie’s grades are suffering amidst all this war is so funny. These kids are too stressed to worry about science class. But also, both of them morphing rat? BOTH of them?? That is so dumb and unnecessary. These kids do need to stay in school.

Love that the girls both turned into rats, and then the big discovery is that they left the ceiling fan on. But also, were there no consequences to losing their school rat in the walls?

In a previous book, I talked about how if they weren’t sucked into a war, Jake and Marco would probably be nearing the end of their friendship soon. I think for the girls, it’s the opposite. We’ve talked before about how the girls start to resent each other for the qualities they themselves lack and they admire in each other. We see here, early on in the war that they still admire each other, but they both do a version of that “I’m not like other girls” routine. But they’re also in middle school, so it makes sense that they’d rebel against femininity. I like to think that eventually, Rachel would get into some kind of underground scene that matches her personality more than fashion model. And Cassie will eventually experiment with letting herself dress up more girly for special occasions. And they’d still have each other. (Sorry Im Emotional. Just let the girls grow up together, dammit).

We get to see the early signs of “Cassie cares about the planet and the rest are over it because they care more about humans” I really hate the way the others treat Cassie here. Because she’s right? But also, I am living in 2025, when national forests are in danger. So maybe I’m biased. But either way, they’re supposed to be saving Earth. Did we forget the whole debate back when the Ellimist offered them a way out? Back then they were all about saving the earth as a whole and not just humans, but now all of a sudden they don’t care about the forest as long as they survive?

RIP to Cassie’s dad’s old pick up truck

Cassie learning that the skunk kits are alone in the woods and almost having a break down. I know she needs to toughen up a bit, but it makes sense given everything going on. Empathy is not a flaw.

This part is true horror. And I love horror. I can’t remember who posted, but one of y’all wrote a beautiful post about the language of this chapter adding to the horror element. About the continued use of “I” tricks us into thinking Cassie’s in charge, and that we don’t fully realize who the “alien voice” is at first. I’m reminded of the descriptions of controllers and yeerks talking to each other (or ignoring each other). And I’m also thinking ahead to when Cassie has her adventure with Aldrea. But mostly, I’m connecting with Cassie being forced to kill for survival. There’s no room for morals, or considering the least evil course of action, or what’s fair. She is put in the hypothetical scenario, “gun to your head, what would you do?” And she does it. Later this will torment her. But she did it.

“Welcome to the club” no literally. Tobias straight attempted suicide and then ran away into the woods for a couple of days. Cassie’s allowed to have one meltdown after a termite morph. And yes, obviously Tobias is the perfect one to give her advice about nature and being a killer. 

Jake does that teen boy thing of being unable to understand his emotions, so now he’s yelling at Cassie because he’s scared and doesn’t understand her motivations.

I wish I could find the post someone wrote about Cassie needing to have control over something in her life. And how she’s latching onto these skunk kits because it’s her last chance to feel like she’s able to do something helpful. I can’t remember who wrote it, but it was a very good post.

Once again, I have to empathize with Cassie here. Teenage me definitely  would not have felt the same way. But now that I’ve got a fully developed frontal lobe, I really think that sometimes- the best way to fix your own problems is to help someone else. Even if that someone else happens to be a littler of skunk kits. Every winter I get depressed and I’ve found the best way to combat that is to get a job teaching kids. Not watching them full time, but partial. Giving back to the next generation. Helping create a foundation that will live beyond myself. So no, Cassie, you’re not crazy.

I’m sorry. But did Jake just yell at his dog to go home from the middle of the woods? Like, they’re out in the woods near the skunk den right? So first, Homer just followed Jake all the way from the suburbs? Against Jake’s will? And now he’s sending him off alone to go home? Am I crazy for thinking this is unrealistic?

Again, we see that desperation drives the kids to more direct action. There’s no time for a long complicated plan, so they decide to just grab the guy. Will this work out better or worse than killing the termite queen? I honestly don’t remember. But they’re getting better at making quick decisions.

This is actually a super important conversation between Cassie and Tobias. I’ve admitted before that Cassie has some growing up to do. But she is the one who eventually finds solutions to end the war. Not just drive the yeerks away from Earth and save humanity, but to ultimately end the yeerks conquest across the galaxy. And it starts with conversations like this. It starts with musings over right and wrong, nature and survival, parasites and predators and hosts and prey. Some people are good at living in the world, and some people have no choice but to change the world. The animorphs are playing checkers and Cassie’s out here playing 4D chess and she doesn’t even realize they’re playing different games. She just thinks she’s not good at checkers.

Okay, this might be objectively the funniest way they end a battle. 

[sosoribro]

rouxls kaard and the theme of freedom: just trust me bro

now listen. i know rouxls is just the funny blue idiot man with the confusing-to-pronounce name and the funny duck, and its likely that he'll just remain the silly comic-relief guy for the whole game. and honestly i love that. i think that would be really funny.

(YAP SESH INCOMING)

HOWEVER

freedom. lets talk about freedom. you know, that reoccuring concept we all know and love. freedom. choice. one's own autonomy.

now lets look at rouxls again. what is he? the rules card. whats a point that comes up time and time again when discussing this character? in a deck of cards, the rules card has almost no significance whatsoever, and exists for just that: the rules. as a result, it is often discarded. it is considered useless.

but look at how rouxls views himself, and look at how he carries himself. it is so easy to say that he thinks he's better than everyone, and that he truly is nothing but a stuck-up, vain man who's too stupid to even see that he's well... stupid.

or is he? (legitimate question!!! here's a potential answer????)

because he seems fixated on working for someone. anyone, it seems. so here we have someone who considers himself to be absolutely intelligent, capable, powerful, and just generally better than everyone else, yet still wants to settle for second-in-command? he contradicts himself. but why?

so back to the card thing. the rules card is ultimately in a deck to help.

and rouxls kaard seems desperate to help. to assist. to serve. but that makes sense, considering that as the rules card, that is his purpose.

and what if he knew that?

so this is the part where i realize that im way too invested in this character and will really take ANYTHING as evidence for my probably-not-canon lore that's canon in my mind and only in my mind. stop reading right now if you dont like that.

anyway

rouxls lists long walks in the dungeon as one of his hobbies.

and who's in the dungeon?

THATS RIGHT. I AM BRINING THIS GUY UP:

YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM, ITS JEVIL YEAH I EVEN DRAGGED JEVIL INTO THIS SO YOU KNOW IM IN TOO DEEP

so anyway ignoring how far-fetched this is what if hypothetically rouxls wandered down to jevil's cell and somehow learned that it was all just a game yada yada yada and in the process, learned that providing rules and helping until he is inevitably discarded is simply his role.

and so, his personality is as stuck-up and high-and-mighty as it is because he wants to feel important. he needs to feel important, otherwise he'll be thrown away.

he needs to be of use to someone, but can not stand going ignored.

in being so willing to submit to whoever's in power, he denies himself freedom.

so long story short: hey guys what if rouxls actually knows hes useless and mostly discarded. how does he know? idk jevil maybe told him??? but maybe thats why hes so desperate to work for someone, but is so full of himself at the same time? because he wants to feel needed and important, because he knows that the rules card gets thrown away. again, jevil probably told him iunno

and thats how rouxls totally links to the theme of freedom guys totally a billion percent canon i am definitely so normal about him

NOW ALTERNATIVELY HE COULD ALSO JUST BE FUNNY STUPID MAN I DUNNO

[mayapapaya33]

The "Are we the bad guys" energy of this episode is fantastic lmfao. This tense conversation in the entryway surrounding Ludinus' corpse is so good. There is a non-zero chance of this devolving into PvP and I am here for it. If this campaign ends as a Shakespearian tragedy of friend turning on friend, I will sob violently but I will also be deeply impressed. I don't think that's going to happen, but I could easily see Orym standing in front of the entrance, pulling an "I can do this all day" grimly forcing the rest of Bells Hells to choose between fighting him to the death and continuing on with what they have planned. I think it would break something in him, but I think he could do it. And based on Braius' conversation with Asmodeus I think he would join Orym. Fearne is a wild card, but she'd probably join Orym because he's her best friend. Dorian is a tough one because he's in love with Orym BUT he wants the gods to be gone so I'm fairly split down the middle. I think he might fight against Orym nonlethally for this and hope Orym forgives him later. Or maybe the power of love compels him idk.

Ashton's stance is totally predictable, he's been pretty consistent about his feelings. I do find it funny/annoying that some people are SO mad at Ashton that they're getting mad at real life Taliesin calling him stupid, meanwhile Caduceus is right there played by the same guy. Chill people, it's good acting, he's a punk barbarian, what did you think was going to happen? And like it or not, he does make a good point when he said that a crap ton of people now know about Predathos and Ludinus' plan and there's a whole moon of soon to be very angry people above them, and how the heck are they supposed to protect the jail from them, etc? A cave in is not going to cut it unfortunately. There are plenty of other Ruidisborn left out there who can get through these barriers and shovels exist.

Anyway, we all know what side of the fight Ash is on, but I do think he'd be highly reluctant to fight anyone in the party and would try to talk it out, badly. Which is funny considering he's the barbarian. If he and Fearne were on opposite sides of the debate/ fight I could see it either being really angsty OR like, Ash: "Sorry wince, Sorry, Hits her with a hammer Sorry!" Fearne: "No hard feelings" Ash: "yeah same" Fearne: lights Ash on fire, Etc. It could be the bit of comedic levity in an otherwise devastating scene.

Imogen and Laudna are ride or die and would be on the same side either way but would be on the side of releasing Predathos as well. I think they would have way less trouble starting shit. (Imogen would of course aim for non-lethal and spells make that easier than melee). Laudna might go for murdering Orym if she feels betrayed honestly, she's deeply scarred and needs a lot of therapy with that lady that lives in the frog. Like I said Fearne and Dorian are the main wild cards for me, so a lot depends on what they choose. I'm also not sure what Chetney would choose in this hypothetical. Travis is THE big red button pusher, but Chetney is strangely the wise-ish old man glue that helps keep the party together. So Idk if Travis or Chetney would win out on that one lol.

Also Ira, who the fuck knows what Ira would do if PvP broke out lmfao. Just spectate in the corner eating moon popcorn? Pick a side once the tide turns and it seems likely one side is about to win? Who knows?