#and I really am just talking in hypotheticals right now to make a point

[twelvedaysinaugust]

Be honest. Do you think larry and freddie can both be real? For me personally, i think 75% of the time, i believe larry is (or was) real and freddie really is his son.

I mean, just swap Eleanor for Harry and there's the Elounor narrative.

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

The Fun Kind of Sparring

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

Minors do ¡NOT! interact. This is not for you.

A/N: I haven’t seen the Boys and won’t BUTT that finale, amirite??? So in honor of the glorious return of Jensen Ackles, maybe the finest man who’s ever existed- seriously, when the aliens invade, show them him and they’ll be besotted by his beauty- I wrote this for all y’all SB lovers. Just note that I do not endorse any of this man’s actions, and if you do… the fuck?

I think it goes without saying but this is not my picture, it belongs to EW. (Too tired to make icons 💪)

Anyways, icons by me and all interaction-especially commentary- is appreciated!

Content/Content Warning: straight filth. The mouth on this man is crazy. Diddle that skittle.

****************************************************

It really had just been sparring. A little one on one, if you will. Me and Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy and me.

If it were anyone else, being pinned down to the ground would be the opposite of erotic. It would be annoying, and I’d be flailing around, trying to hit my partner in the balls.

But with Soldier Boy? We’d been skirting around each other since The Boys broke him out. Well, that’s a lie. I’ve been skirting around him, he’s made it more than a little obvious that he’s into me. I don’t know if it’s that he just wants a quick lay or what, but because I’m unfortunately attracted to him, I don’t really care.

Especially right now, when I’m pinned under him on the gym mat.

“Y’know, we shouldn’t do this,” I stall, no meaning behind my words.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he humors me. His lips are mere inches away from mine, his hair falling against my forehead. And I think I’m drunk on the scent of his pungent aftershave.

“I mean, you’re like, what, 103?” I ponder aloud, trying to distract myself from the fact that the Soldier Boy is rested over me in a plank, shirtless. That I can feel his warm breath on my face. That it smells like peppermints.

“104, actually, sweets,” he corrects. He’s had this shot-eating grin plastered on his face since he managed to wrestle me down, because like me, he knows exactly how this is going to end. But unlike me, he’s not remotely hesitant about showing it. And because he’s a jerk, he’s making me make the first move. But I’m not ready quite yet.

“104, right,” I mutter. “Older than my grandpa.”

“Smart girl,” he just goes along with everything I’m saying, letting me stall. The mischievous glint in his emerald colored eyes never ceases.

I nod slowly. “You are a very attractive grandpa,” I state, my tone far away as if I’m talking about him while he isn’t on top of me. Ohhh do I want him on top. You know what I mean.

“Thanks, sugar. But I think I’d prefer ‘Daddy’ if we’re going for the titles,” he says cheekily, still making no moves. I on the other hand am blushing the brightest red. Between the nicknames and Daddy, it’s too much to handle.

“O-oh,” I stutter, swallowing thickly. “Noted. But, uh, aren’t you more into… more mature women?”

“I believe all women are mature. I don’t discriminate, sweets,” he says, his shit-eating grin somehow eating more shit.

“Very feminist of you,” I say sarcastically.

“Damn straight,” he agrees.

I bite my lower lip. “You’re very experienced, right?”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but yes, I’d say so,” I can tell that he can tell that I can tell that this is volatile, just moments from going somewhere.

“Okay, so I guess my last question is this: how would you go about it. Y’know? With someone that you hypothetically wouldn’t treat as someone you paid for? That you’re sort of friends with?” I have to know. I’m too nervous for him not to lay it out plain and simple for me, I need to mentally prepare myself.

“Well, firstly, I think I’d have to know my girl likes it,” he gives me a pointed look.

“Your hypothetical girl,” I correct.

“Sure, my hypothetical girl,” he agrees. How has he not broken a single sweat this entire time? He’s been in a plank over me for the last however long it’s been and it doesn’t even affect him??

Quit getting distracted.

“Maybe she likes it rough. She wants to feel it for a few days,” I suggest, feeling my stomach knot at the notion. I’d been consistently growing wetter since he put me under him, and my arousal shows no signs of stopping.

“Okay, so I’d give it to her rough. Work her up until she’s begging for it… maybe I’ll- I mean, I’d- use my mouth first, taste her pretty pussy before I get my dick wet.” It’s all I can do not to moan at the dirty words falling out of his plush lips. Not to mention his honeyed transatlantic 50s accent… I’m so fucked. In so many ways. “Probably get her to come at least once, cause I’m sure she tastes as sweet as she looks.”

“Uh huh,” I mumble, the sound coming out higher than it should as I look at him with wide, attentive eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong, even before then I’d be marking her up and down. So that way everyone can see who made her feel so good, who got her walking so funny,” he backtracks. And again, the notion is far too good to be true. But the promise in his voice? It’s real. “I’d have to get her ready for my cock, stretch her out with my fingers. Start with one, but she’d be so wet that that wouldn’t even do anything. She’d be begging for more if I just did two, so I’ll give her three, make that needy cunt happy,” he muses. And it’s so, so erotic. And I’m ready to just lean up and kiss him, make him do all the things he says. But I’m captivated by his words, his narration- I think I could come from it alone. “I don’t know if I’d let her come again then. Because I think she’d be begging for my dick with how good my fingers feel stuffed in her tight pussy.”

Mother. Fucking. Hell. Oh. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He shouldn’t be real. These words should be banned from his vocabulary, because I am on fire right now.

“Where do you think this hypothetical girl would want me to come?” he asks out of curiosity, smirking. Probably at the way I’m looking at him like a bitch in heat.

“In her,” I mumble.

“In her where?” he asks smugly, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it.

“Ben,” I whine in protest.

“Oh, c’mon, tell me,” he chides. “For the sake of the story.”

“In my-her-pussy,” I answer in a breathy whisper.

“Good girl,” he praises, and it’s all I can do not to keen. I have to be soaked through my shorts by now, there’s no way. “Well, what I’d do next… that’s simple. I’d fuck her until she cried, and then I’d keep going. And I’d keep going until the only thing she can remember is my name, until she’s gooey and clingy and a sweet little fucked out thing, all for me,” he finishes, his grin from before returning back to his face. I’m losing it. I can’t think straight. And yet- he’s still waiting for me to make the first move. Son of a bitch.

“O-okay,” I clear my throat, unable to find my senses. “And if that hypothetical girl was me?” We both know it’s me, I just need to hear it.

“Well in that case I think I’d be the luckiest bastard who ever lived,” he says sincerely, looking at me with a gaze that can only be described as pure adoration and lust. Yep. That’s it for me. I lean up and kiss him with as much force as I can muster.

****************************************************

In the meantime… want more Soldier Boy?? Try Taming The Supe <3

[gotham-daydreams]

i had a really random idea that activated a neuron in my head and wanted to share here if that's ok— neglected!reader and friend!reader crossover. increased angst potentials, increased relationship struggles.

idk if it's just me, but the cold knowledge and sudden realization that your family was only ever interacting with you to use you as a means of getting close to their original target (who i will be assuming is a friend of yours)? you should be feeling glad that they're finally, *finally* interacting with you, but it just makes you feel more sick. they talk to you, but never want to talk about *you,* if that makes sense, always their target. half-hearted attempts to try and be more discreet, but you can tell they really just want to probe out info about your friend from you. perhaps this even cements your belief that "oh. they're never going to care for me the way i used to care for them."?? im sick i will explode and become atoms for this hypothetical reader's sake. leaving them, and the family realization that in their own selfish goals, they lost something more valuable. only makes sense for them to get it back.

but perhaps it can also be them originally them trying to again, use you as a bridge between said target, only to become more obsessed with you somewhere down the line of continuous interactions. idk lots of thoughts here i am happy big and mentally normal about these giant group of costumed losers !!

I am in love with this idea... especially because you can do it both ways (with the reader either being a part of the fam, or just a 'friend' of one of the Batfam members that they kinda forgot about until now)!

I'll go into Acquaintance! Reader later, so for now I'll focus more on this other neglected sib reader :]

Can you imagine how absolutely heartbreaking finding out that they're just talking with you to get something out of you, at first? Like, okay, maybe reader is suspicious at first, of course, because why the hell is the family starting to acknowledge their existence now? Was it something they did? Something that caught the family's attention? Etc., etc., but the point is that maybe with a little effort and too little time, they begin to have a little hope. They began to think that the family actually cares about them now.

Like yeah, sure, they kind of dismiss their questions when the reader tries to bring up the changes and why things couldn't be like this before, and have an odd habit of giving short answers and moving onto other topics concerning their friend when the reader, again, tries to press even a little bit more for answers or responses, but that's just how it is, right?

It's nothing personal... the reader knows that, and even if it hurts sometimes, it's nothing to worry about, right? Besides, they wanted this... didn't they? They wanted to be noticed, to finally have the family's attention, to have something and they're finally getting that! They should be happy, grateful even... and they are! But... is it so selfish to want more? To want the family and some of their siblings to even be a little interested in the things they do? Instead of just asking about their friend all the time?

Maybe the reader even gets a little jealous, envious, even, as this goes on but I can see them being content with little. Ultimately a little scared to ruin a good thing, and to ruin this for themselves... even if it definitely doesn't feel as good as they had hoped it would be oh so long ago.

... And then, they figure out the truth. Either from overhearing some members of the family talking about it, other friend of theirs points it out/puts that idea into their head, or they just... notice it. Hell, all three of those things could happen - with the reader knowing on some subconscious level that things aren't as they seem and that the family is definitely trying to get something out of them (a thought they had at first, that didn't fully go away), and another friend of theirs (that the fam isn't going crazy over) sort of points out that it looks like the batfam is just using them to get to whoever (and maybe the reader dismisses it at first, but that moment only further plants that idea into their head), and the reader keeps noticing all of these little things from that moment and onward... only for everything to come crumbling down once they finally overhear that conversation.

Once they hear some of the members discussing what they should ask the reader, how they should go about it, and hell - maybe for the irony of it all, maybe even joking about the reader finding out about their little 'ploy'. Even going so far as to laugh and say how the reader will never find out because they're too stupid, too desperate to even really entertain the idea to its fullest. How even if they do think so... well, they can just string poor little reader along and distinguish the idea before it even becomes a problem. How they could use that to just further rope the reader in, and make them feel guilty until they forget all about the very idea of the family just using them... further securing themselves to be one of - if not the only - closest people to the reader, and therefore, much closer to their fixation.

It's... more than just heartbreaking for the reader, but not quite world shattering either. It's some odd in between feeling that hurts all the same. They knew, sure, and they always had the suspicion- but it fucking hurts.

Somehow, knowing hurts more in that moment - just the reader knowing and having their suspicions confirmed hurts worse than anything they've ever felt. It doesn't quite feel like betrayal, or maybe it does - they aren't sure, but at the same time that description doesn't feel quite right. Though that's because they feel partially at fault. Like they did this to themselves, and they do feel guilty, but for only putting themself through this.

They should've known better. They should've listened to their gut. They should've never let this happen- they are at fault as much as the family is...

But can they fully blame themself? They got a glimpse of what it was like to be part of the family. A glimpse into the life they always wanted... could they really blame themself for taking that chance when they saw it? For trying to seize that opportunity even if it was never really there? Could they blame themselves for trying to look past all the signs, because they too wanted something out of it? Because they just wanted to be part of the family that badly, even if it was all a lie?

It hurts, and the reader leaves quietly. They don't burst into the room and confront everyone - no, they just walk away. Too consumed in their own grief and feelings to do much else besides that. I imagine that they don't even make it to their room, and hell, maybe one of the other Batfam members find them, but just looking at them makes the reader cry harder.

If they literally run away from the person, or not, is really up to interpretation at the moment, but either way they manage to find some alone time to themselves, and just... let it all out. The reader, in that moment, allows themself to grieve over the lose of a family they never had, and after all is said and done, I can imagine that they try to distance themselves- but are smart in how they do so.

The reader tries to get the family closer to their friend, while also limiting the amount of the the reader is actually around both the friend and the family. Basically just trying to put everyone in a position where they don't need a middleman - where the reader doesn't have to be involved anymore, and basically just... giving the reader an opportunity to truly distance themself from the family.

Sure, the reader might still try to hang out with the family's current fixation, but I can see them be willing to sacrifice time with that person just to further get away. It hurts to do it, and they don't want to, but they figure that, with enough time, once the family chills the fuck out, they'll hopefully be able to sort of go back to how things were. If not? Then... well, they'll just have to learn how to live with that, and they hope that their friend can forgive them.

Don't get me wrong, I could totally see the reader trying to find ways to get their friend out of the position, but the batfam is one tricky foe.. so they settle for what they can, but maybe they're still trying to do what they can. (Or maybe they think that this is the best course of action since... well, maybe they overheard some other talks afterwards? Who knows)

It could also be that, through the reader's attempt to leave, and them trying to eliminate themself from the equation entirely could be a huge turning point for the Batfam in terms of them turning yandere (aka, if they weren't yan before, they definitely are now. and those that are, are even worse than before). A real "you don't know what you had until it's gone" kinda deal, and it's gotta be hilarious to see the fam just scramble for something, and to kind of 'catch' the reader until they're truly gone... which, to add to the humor- the reader is probably already trying to move out of Gotham by that time LMAO

[princessbrunette]

stepbro john b with a nympho reader? :PP

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎀𖦹🍨₊ ⊹༘⋆

you’re openly ravenous, and it kills him. any other guy would be thrilled to have a girl as hot as you flaunting herself round in a bikini all day, throwing yourself at him. but john b had a good heart, although lead astray the brunette was often set on doing the right thing. what he thought would be the responsible thing to do, and despite jj’s constant goading — that didn’t entail boning his little step-sister.

“you ain’t never watched step porn? the fuck do you even search on pornhub, bro — holding hands? love making?” the blonde scoffs as he leans his elbows against the rickety wooden barrier, casting his fishing line over it.

“i don’t really watch— ugh, whatever. i can’t do that. it’s tempting, oh trust me — i am incredibly tempted, but… i was left in charge of her, okay? i—i can’t just take advantage of her like that. she’s probably just all messed up because both our parents left us for dead.” john b sighs, shaking his head out at the open still water. jj squints at him for a moment like he’s dumb before checking his own rod.

“take advantage of her? dude she’s practically offerin’ it up n’dangling it infront of your face. you know what i say? you just take the risk, show her how a real man does it, tell her enough with the slutty little girl games. s’what i’d do anyway.” he shrugs hypothetically.

“really jj? thats what you’d do?” john b blinks, deadpanned as he glances at his best friend, barely entertaining his rambling.

“sure would. look if you’re not gonna swoop on that shit i hope you don’t mind me tryin’ that door. she’s hot, man.”

the idea of jj trying you out didn’t sit well with john b. the way you acted sometimes was like you were famished, starved for dick, like it was your life line and your step brother was the only one who could save you. jj oddly had a way with ladies, he was brutish and pogueish and the girls knew he fucked rough and dirty. john b can’t see you resisting that, especially as you know it’ll get to him.

that’s why he walks straight into your bedroom with all the confidence in the world, and loses it the second you turn and look him in the eye.

“okay.” is all he says and you furrow your brows, already slinking towards him like there were magnets attached to the two of you.

“okay what, john b?” you tilt your head. everything you did, every little move and micro expression you made seemed to be a seduction tactic. a spell that couldn’t be broken because he was just a simple minded guy that thought with his dick at the end of the day.

“uh…” he lifts a hand up to scratch the back of his head and you take the opportunity to eye him, delighted to see that he was already half hard from the thoughts running through his mind. “yeah this was… not my finest idea aaaand, i didn’t really think this through—” he starts to talk, and momentarily distracted you take his tanned hand, pulling it to cup your cunt. “uh— so… that’s your pussy.” he deadpans obviously, lost for words.

you grin and nod, eyes fluttering when his muscle memory kicks in and his slides a thumb over your covered clit, nothing but the material of your bikini bottoms separating you. “nothin’ gets passed you, big bro.” you tease, pushing your body closer to him.

“so this step-sibling… conundrum… really doesn’t bother you. like, at all?” he clarifies, big brown eyes locked in on your lips as you stand on your tiptoes, breath now mingling and lips just nearly grazing his.

“uh-uh. s’not like we’re related.” you reason, and when it comes from your sweet voice he can’t argue.

“jesus.” he sighs into your mouth, practically sharing oxygen at this point. “you know what? fuck it.” he takes the leap, pressing his mouth to yours as to which you let out a delighted squeal, immediately jumping up on him, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“we’re gonna have so much fun, john b.” you muse, almost happy to a sinister degree as you wrap your arms around his neck. he blinks up at you, guilty but sinfully aroused and presses his bulge between your split legs.

“thats the plan.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎀𖦹🍨₊ ⊹༘⋆

[softrozene]

Reacting to Dutch Wanting a Night with Their Girl

Anonymous requested: Okay, so, I’ve had this in my head for a while. Dutch is a gross old guy who likes pretty young ladies, right? Well, Arthur/John/Javier has this real cute and super affectionate little thing on his arm. What? They’re married/engaged/dating? No, it’s fine. He taught that boy how to read! Giving up his girl for a night isn’t that big of a deal, he’s sure asking them in the middle of camp will go well. 

rdr2 masterlist

ALJSFDASKL This is so long omg. Let me know if you wanted something specific or anything- Wasn’t too sure if it was a request but I had to give my input. This is how I thought they would react and lmao this was super fun. 

Originally published on January 5, 2021

Arthur, Javier, John x Female Reader

Warnings: Dutch is super gross in this - We don’t stan, we do stan the three who stick up for their girl, Dutch is vulgar - I really did Dutch dirty in this but it was bound to happen eventually.

Words: ~900

Okay, one thing they all share in common is if it were you saying that Dutch said something to you, they would all be hesitant. Like “Nah, he didn’t mean it that way” or “Are you sure he said that?” or “I’ll go talk to him”- Then they end up doubting you as Dutch lies his way out of it (Yes, they would sadly be the dudes that apologizes for their friend’s behavior too)

They are hesitant only because Dutch did offer them a chance as part of the family in the gang- He did give them a decent chance at life and as anon said- Taught them to read and write. They see him as someone they owe a great lot to- so if you suddenly talk bad about him, they will want to defend him, or he will point the blame at you

In other words, their loyalty to Dutch will for sure make them not believe you at first

However- If they witness it that is an entirely different story:

Charles wasn’t asked for, but I will say since he is not that close with Dutch other than respecting him for being treated well in the gang, he will straight-up knock out Dutch the second he hears anything vulgar- Or whether you inform him. You matter more than the gang and he will defend you

 Arthur Morgan-

You have been skittish lately. That does not sit well with Arthur since you are only skittish with Dutch around- He thinks it is just because you are shy and nothing else until-

Dutch- Sweet, old, crazy Dutch comes up to the both of you, more so looking at Arthur in an expecting way and asks for a night with you- With others as witnesses nonetheless?

All of you would be stunned-

Dutch has a fucking serious tone- Arthur will be frozen then just stare at him for the longest time

“Dutch- You drunk?”

“What? Son, I would never- I was simply asking a hypothetical ‘what if’ question since you have such a divine being hanging on your arm all the time. You can’t deny the chemistry we have when we look- Hey now, don’t give me that look, Son. You know I would only ask if it would benefit you-“

He would keep saying creepy things along those lines and Arthur just snaps

Either by straight-up punching him in the face- Tackling him- Anything, no one can pry him off of Dutch until he good and satisfied that this once honorable man he looked up to will never gaze upon you again in that creepy face

He loses all respect for Dutch and Dutch’s confidence with how he thought he could get Arthur’s girl for a night

Everyone is wary and on edge, but it is for the better

Molly probably opens up her eyes

 John Marston-

Dutch does not even have to say anything- John notices the looks he has been giving you and he does not like it one bit

Dutch would not go to him first- Instead, John would confront him in the middle of the camp and be like “You serious right now Dutch? Eyeing my woman when I am right here, and Molly is over there?”

Dutch will respond: “I ain’t touching- I am just looking.” Or “Can you blame me? Look at her.”

“That is low- Even for you Dutch”

If Dutch even tries to defend himself, be fancy with his words, or place the blame on you- You can bet John will not hold back- The boys will have to pry him off Dutch (after letting John get a few hits in because Dutch ain’t as sly as he thinks he is)

This really is one of the worse things John has seen and he won’t stand with it (depending on how much he cares about you tbh) Like if he sees you as his wife you bet, he is ready to ditch the gang again but with you this time

We’re pretending Abigail and Jack are in a healthy place- Not this universe lamflasd

 Javier Escuella-

I really hate to say this guys but the way Javier reacts depends on what chapter you are in- In the gang.

Before Chapter 5+6 he would react on your behalf-

“Dutch- Did you really ask if you can borrow mi amor?”

He is pissed- He is beyond livid, he will try to be calm and collected but that will not last long and he will act on your behalf demanding Dutch respects you

If this happens after 5 and during 6- He will really think about it

He already betrayed Arthur and John, the gang is falling apart, all he has is Dutch and you- So he will really consider it (but I doubt he would let Dutch go through with it)

After Chapter 6 though- He will not hesitate to cut a bitch Dutch

He realized that he really lost the family that had his back, and it is all because of Micah and Dutch so if Dutch has the gall to ask him after everything you all went through- It is on- He will fight for your honor and he will apologize constantly afterward for helping to ruin the family you both loved and shared

[apomaro-mellow]

Matchmaking Harringtons 5

This one's a little shorter as we gear up for the final part!

Steve woke up on a warm day near the end of June to see his mother sitting at the table, making calls while his father was out back, doing inventory on his grill supplies.

He went over to the pantry to get some cereal, listening in on his mother's very loud conversation. She was inviting people... family... Aunt Elaine?...

By the time Steve got his bowl, cereal and milk and spoon, he figured that his parents were making preparations for a 4th of July barbecue. Smiling to herself, Diane hung up and made a note in her planner.

"So, the family's getting together for the 4th. It'll be us, your Aunt Elaine and her family for sure. I still need to call the rest. But your grandparents will be there too."

"Okay, sounds fun." A nice cookout with family that he hadn't seen since last summer.

"Oh and they're just so excited to meet Eddie."

Steve sputtered and milk dribbled down his chin. "You told them about Eddie?! About how I-I'm...?"

"No, not yet. But I told Elaine that you might have someone special to introduce everyone to, you know, if Eddie wanted to come and I don't know why he wouldn't..."

"You know why he wouldn't", Steve said.

Diane put on an exaggerated pout and batted her eyelashes.

"Mom...", he sighed.

She let out a little whimper like a sad puppy.

"You are a grown woman", Steve pointed out. "And you're setting a bad example for your son."

Jonas came in, shielding his eyes with his hand as he walked by. "I heard the pouting from outside, whatever it is, just give it to her."

"You're enabling her", Steve said.

"I bet Eddie gives you everything when you show this face. You inherited it from me", Diane said.

Steve let out another heavy sigh. "Alright, I'll ask him if he wants to come."

"You're bringing Eddie to the barbecue?", Jonas asked.

"Apparently everyone will want to meet him, despite not knowing of his existence yet."

"It's not like we're asking him to come to cotillion-"

"Which he's years late to", Steve said.

"Or to escort you to a debutante-"

"I still think your dad's sore that Steve didn't go to one", Jonas said.

"And why would Eddie be escorting me? Why am I not escorting him?"

"You know, we had a similar question regarding your wedding", Jonas said, completely missing the 'cutting' motion his wife was making.

"My what?!"

"Just as a hypothetical", Diane said quickly.

Steve played with his cereal. "You guys get me a boyfriend...you want him to meet the family...why does it feel like you've got a church picked out for August?"

"Who said we got you a boyfriend?", Diane asked at the same time Jonas said, "Who'd get married in August?"

"Eddie told me how you guys 'orchestrated' this whole thing", Steve said. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"It had nothing to do with your confidence Steve. We just wanted to help however we could", Diane said.

"So...you guys really like Eddie?"

"Like him? He's great", Jonas said. "A little odd, but that's what makes people interesting."

Diane smiled. "He has such interesting opinions, I could talk with him for hours. Actually, who does his hair? I would love to take him to the salon and-"

"Whoa there, if I didn't know better, I'd think you two were in love with Eddie", Steve said as he stood and took his empty bowl to the sink.

"Oh, is it wrong to adore our son's boyfriend?", Diane teased.

Steve kept his back to them, his silence betraying the redness in his face right now. He didn't point out that his parents were never this welcoming towards any of his past girlfriends. He knew there was something different about Eddie, and they knew it too. He was definitely 'long-term, introduce to extended family' material.

Part 7

Tag Team

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[toasterpiastris]

I agree that Oscars drive was amazing, and that was an amazing freaking pass. But Lando really did help him to win. Let’s hypothetically say Lando never made it that far up the field to help out. He held Sergio up by almost a second and a half, That means coming out of the pits, Sergio would be almost a second up the road on Oscar. Therefore when Leclerc pits a lap later, it’s not Oscar fighting Leclerc for the lead, now it’s Checo. So now we either have Sergio in the lead, or Oscar fighting Sergio for second. If Oscar is fighting for second, that gives Charles a chance to scamper off into the distance like he did in the first stint. So while Oscar deserves ALL the credit for his amazing driving, for his pass, for keeping Leclerc behind, he doesn’t even get the chance to do it if not for Lando. That is what being part of a team is all about, and what I think is getting lost in all this stupid Papaya Rules talk. As a fan of both drivers, I want them both to do well and win races. But at times, yes I think one or the other should be asked to do something they don’t want to do, that negatively impacts their race to help the other in order to help the team.

Every team does this, whether it’s Charles helping Carlos in Singapore last year, Fernando helping Lance to get his first win, or Checo helping Max to win the World Championship in 2021. It’s what McLaren have been missing. The ability to work as a team to maximize points. Lando helping Oscar doesn’t take the shine off his win, if anything it just makes it shinier. Shows that the team can work together, and is not as dysfunctional as it’s looked the past month or so. We should celebrate the achievements of both drivers!

100% agree. I think that (and I say this as an Oscar fan) the talks of Oscar being better, or more of a first driver are a bit premature rn. I honestly think they’re close to on equal footing currently, there is no clear “better driver,” at least in the last 10 or so races. Oscar is incredibly talented, he’s learned quickly, and he’s very laid back. But I find there are so many people completely discounting and discrediting Lando right now for reasons that aren’t always all that fair. I’ve seen so much about his mindset and how Oscar’s is better etc. etc. but this is very much so rooted in an anti mental health kind of stand point. Just because someone takes things hard, doesn’t mean they’re incapable. Lando started p15 for fucks sake, and he pulled through with a wonderful job. His defense for Oscar was a very helpful move, and to not acknowledge it is low key stupid. In the post that I’m pretty sure this ask was in response to, I was talking about how Andrea Stella saying that lando deserves 50% of the recognition for the win is kinda bs; honestly it seems like McLaren discredits both their drivers sooo much. As much as I don’t like the discourse about Oscar 2nd driver, lando has much more of a possibility at the championship. Also Oscar’s “2nd driver” thing would probably be much closer to what lando did in the Perez situation, not rolling over in a shit situation(Hungary looking at you lmao). Added to that, like Max said, Oscar isn’t typical 2nd driver material, and the whole idea of if you do it once you’ll never recover is bs in this instance. Oscar and lando both deserve their flowers for Sunday and they should be proud of themselves. People want so badly for another rancid brocedes-esque teammate rivalry, but lando and Oscar are so completely different from any of that. Oscar is way too calm about everything, and just look at Lando’s track record of teammate friendships. All in all, very well put anon, and I am done yapping now.

[deedeedeedeedeedeedee]

But like? Am I in the wrong if when, I’m at this fairly conservative bar and grill with my mom, right? We frequent it every now and then. Very small place, everyone there knows each other? The football game ends and suddenly ads start playing that are incredibly pro conservative. The men around us at the bar continue to chatter and say very right winged things about Kamala and I start getting antsy.

Two guys next to us start talking about the “they’re eating the cats and dogs quote” and my mom starts laughing and talking with them because she thinks it’s incredibly funny. By this point, I was like “oh no” and my mom explained how the rumor wasn’t true but how it was funny and the guy tried to tell her that she was wrong and they just kept laughing. So atp I’m frantically trying to get my mom to look at her phone as I’m begging her for us to leave. The conversation continues with the guy asking “but you’re a trump fan right?” And I freeze and my mom is like “I really don’t want to vote. I don’t do politics.” In a voice that makes it seem like she thinks it’s all some big joke. So, as she’s talking and I’m messaging her to let us leave, I give a light kick to her thigh. A tap. As I am desperately trying to get out. As far as I could tell, it wasn’t hard at all. Though I could have gotten her attention another way. Mind you, we are sitting on two bar stools.

She glared at me and, slaps the foot that was once there, away. A guy across the table, earnestly asks “could you be convinced to vote for Kamala, though?” In a surprising hopeful tone. To which we finally get the check and she says that she’s not “into politics.” To which I try to get out as fast as possible. At this point I’m angry and incredibly uncomfortable. In the car, which I drove there, she says “don’t you even kick me like that to get my attention again. Embarrassing.”

To which, I respond angrily, “do you know how upset it makes me? To hear you say that you’d rather not vote when MY rights are on the line. MINE, it affects me. I figured if you knew it affected your child, you would care a little more.”

She seemed sympathetic for .25 seconds to which she said “what RIGHT do you have to tell me how to vote. It’s my god given right for me to vote for whoever I want. You don’t get to force me to vote.”

I yell “I’m not forcing you to vote. I’m saying it would hurt ME. You can vote for whoever you want. I’m saying it will HURT me.”

She says the same thing again, more offended. And then she asks “well what if I DID vote for trump? You would still have to love and respect me. It’s not your business who I vote for”

I said “id leave.” (I’ve since apologizing for saying this because I was answering as if it was a hypothetical) and then followed with “I’d still love you but I wouldn’t respect your beliefs because if you vote for him, it would tell me you don’t care about the rights of people like me and many other groups.”

And she said “what if I want a better economy?”

And I said “a better economy over human rights? That’s rich.”

She just kept yelling “you aren’t in control of me, you can’t control who I vote for” and I said “I can’t! And you can’t control if I’ll be upset or not!”

So when went to the store and she just kept saying how she “can’t do me anymore” and I ruin “every time we hang out.” And more things that were difficult to hear. So i don’t knowww.

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

[shituationist]

the drexler-smalley debate on nanotechnology is interesting to me. it's also interesting that it's largely forgotten. young people today are mostly unaware of what kind of hype nanotechnology had going for it in the early 2000s, which has now all but died down. there was a point where singularitarians were worried about the possibility of "grey goo" taking over the earth before "AGI" did. nowadays it's rare to hear them talk about nanotechnology at all.

drexler was the nanotechnology hype man. to a lesser degree, so was smalley. both believed in the potential for nanotechnology to address human problems, but drexler was the "grey goo" guy who believed in nano-scale mechanical synthesis of arbitrary molecular compounds. smalley on the other hand viewed nanotechnology as essentially a specialized branch of chemistry, and believed that nanotechnology would have to - to put it bluntly - obey the laws of nature that govern normal chemical synthesis.

smalley's contribution was criticized for relying on metaphor, but this isn't really the case. smalley tries to get drexler to step away from science fiction and towards how chemical interactions really work. drexler's case is more defensive and much weaker than his own advocates let on. smalley argues that if you want to do chemical synthesis, you can't break physical laws to do it. he tries to demonstrate why hypothetical nano-scale mechanical "fingers" would fail to synthesize chemicals in the desired fashion, limiting what kinds of materials can be fabricated.

drexler rejects that hypothetical machinery and then shifts the terms of the debate back to relatively ordinary bio-chemistry. both mention ribosomes, which produce enzymes, as prototypical "molecular assemblers". smalley is pleased by their convergence on this point. he tries to drive home his point further about the limitations of what hypothetical engineered ribosomes could produce, and how the vision of self-assembling nanobots is unrealistic given the way natural "molecular assemblers" really work. but drexler shifts the focus again back to the mechano-synthesis of his dreams/nightmares, envisioning molecular assemblers as a nano-scale factory floor complete with conveyor belts and a kind of mechanical smushing together of molecules, analogous to macro-level manufacturing processes.

smalley wasn't having it. his concluding letter begins with: "I see you have now walked out of the room where I had led you to talk about real chemistry, and you are now back in your mechanical world. I am sorry we have ended up like this. For a moment I thought we were making progress." you can hear the disappointment in his tone.

and it got worse: "You are still in a pretend world where atoms go where you want because your computer program directs them to go there. You assume there is a way a robotic manipulator arm can do that in a vacuum, and somehow we will work out a way to have this whole thing actually be able to make another copy of itself. I have given you reasons why such an assembler cannot be built, and will not operate, using the principles you suggest. I consider that your failure to provide a working strategy indicates that you implicitly concur--even as you explicitly deny--that the idea cannot work."

smalley then goes on to talk about how drexler's idea of "grey goo" has scared children who are interested in science and how he should be ashamed of himself. at that point he's just rubbing it in. but the debate ends there, too. smalley dies a few years later. drexler, for his part, seems to have given up on the "grey goo" idea when the funding for nanotechnology research started to dry up. he's an "AI" risk guy nowadays, collecting consulting fees for "AI safety" types of things. in retrospect, it seems like smalley was right. the direction of nanotechnology research went towards practical chemistry inspired by ribosomes and enzymes and limited by the physical qualities of those systems, the kinds of limitations smalley describes. drexler's "self-assembling nanobots" are nowadays regarded as a kind of science fiction by eminent researchers in the field. smalley's key points, that there are limitations to what biological "molecular assemblers" can produce and the constraints on how they can be produced, have withstood a couple decades of scientific research.

[barbieaiden]

1. Aiden: So, uh...

Sam: Yes?

Aiden: I thought you didn't care about weed.

Sam: ...morally?

Aiden: I guess.

Sam: No, I don't.

Aiden: But you did. Earlier. You didn't want me and Kell to smoke weed.

Sam: No.

Aiden: So you do care.

Sam: About you smoking weed, yes.

2. Aiden: But it'd be fine if it was Kell.

Sam: Yes? You were just in a coma, Aiden.

Aiden: Well, yeah, I know that, but it's not like weed had anything to do with that.

Sam: That's not my point.

Aiden: What is your point, then?

Sam: You know why I'm worried.

Aiden: No, I don't.

3. Sam: I think if you smoke weed once you're going to struggle to stay clean. It's like a recovering alcoholic drinking a low-alcohol beer, it's still alcohol.

Aiden: It's really not the same.

Sam: How? How is that not the same?

Aiden: It's just not.

Sam: You're being awfully defensive.

Aiden: So are you!

4. Sam: Defensive of what? I'm just worried. I want to help you.

Aiden: Well, you're overworrying and it's kind of having the opposite effect.

Sam: You brought this up, Aiden.

5. Aiden: Well, you kind of brought it up by saying you didn't want me to smoke weed.

Sam: I didn't say anything, Kell just assumed.

Aiden: So if I told you I was going to go get high right now you'd be totally fine with that.

Sam: Obviously not? I don't understand what point you're trying to make.

Aiden: Just... forget it.

6. Sam: Aiden!

Aiden: Just drop it. I don't want to argue.

Sam: We don't have to argue. I just thought you were planning on staying clean.

7. Aiden: I am.

Sam: So why would you jeopardize your recovery by doing drugs?

Aiden: I wouldn't. I'm just talking, you know, hypothetically.

Sam: Why are you getting so worked up over a hypothetical situation?

Aiden: I just...

8. Aiden: I don't know. I just think you're overreacting a little.

Sam: Overreacting? Aiden, you were in a coma because of drugs, I think I'm underreacting!

Aiden: Well, I'm not talking about the whole situation, I'm talking about weed specifically.

Sam: Aiden, I... don't do this again, please, I don't have the energy for this.

9. Aiden: We were just talking, weren't we?

Sam: It's like you're willfully missing my point. Every time.

Aiden: I'm just asking you.

Sam: Asking me what?

Aiden: If you'd care if I smoked weed.

Sam: Yes, I would care. I already told you.

Aiden: Yeah. But why?

10. Sam: I already told you. You're not satisfied with my answer, is that it? You want me to tell you that I'm completely okay with you going straight back to drugs after you were in a fucking coma?

Aiden: Obviously I get that you're not okay with that.

11. Sam: So what's the issue, Aiden?

Aiden: You'd have no problem with Kell smoking weed.

Sam: No.

Aiden: But it's a problem when I do it.

Sam: You have a drug problem. Kell doesn't. [Sigh] Aiden, please, you know what the issue is. I don't need to explain it to you.

Aiden: ...well, I told you to just forget it, so... yeah. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

12. Sam: No, Aiden, tell me what's bothering you.

Aiden: I don't know. Okay? I don't know.

Sam: I feel like you're just saying that.

13. Aiden: I don't know, it just... it feels like no one trust me with, you know... and, I mean, I can't even blame you, but...

Sam: Tell me how to help you in a better way.

14. Aiden: ...I don't know.

Sam: Think about it. And tell me, because I can't read your mind.

15. Aiden: Yeah. I will.

[davekat-sucks]

(Found this image on Twitter)

I really don't like the Omega kids. I take them as seriously as I take the alphasprites, they don't exist to me. Hearing you guys talk about these little mistakes feels like watching everyone talk about a hypothetical scenario or dream some guy had once... which is the Homestuck experience now.

I dislike them, but it's not just because their stories stem from terrible couples, it's because they're so over designed but there is no meaning to anything.

It's cute Tavros has a bow tie and that Harry has a bandana but those feel like little trinkets that should have been added on later after we get used to seeing them. Show me their personalities first before you overload a character with this much clothing. Yiffy is the worst of these. It's too much. For some reason Eridan feels like a simpler design than this avril lavigne clone. There is something less cohesive and more busy about these designs than the original cast. Maybe it's because it has too many different grays and blacks. She looks more like a vast error character than a Homestuck one.

Look at how simple the character designs start out as, and then they purposely make their own outfits that fit their interests and personalities. Dirk may be a bit of an exception here actually, he changes his clothes right after he is introduced. Which introduces him as anal.

There is meaning here. There is a purpose that the story shares throughout it's run. Look at Rose's dress it was made from the velvet pillow introduced when her mom one-upped her and Roxy's outfit here clearly being a reference to her mom's love of knitting. There is a reason Jade wears blue and John wears green even though that isn't their colors. Dave's shades are a gift from John. John is wearing a bootlegged slimer shirt. I'm not saying the Omega kids need every article of clothing to have a backstory, but if they wear this much clothing it doesn't tell me much.

Why does Yiffy wear cleats if she was hidden away from the world? Did she run around in a backyard like a dog or something? I don't even remember if that is her story or not, I forgot so much about her because I was more focused on how she was a child that Rose had behind her wife's back. They're overloaded with drama too.

To add to that. I haven't placed much thought in it but I don't know what the Omega kids color scheme is supposed to be. I assume the Beta kids colors come from basic web colors. If you invert the beta kid's colors you get the Alpha kids color scheme.

The Omega kids just feel scattered and unorganized. It makes them feel even more meaningless because they don't fit in. If that is the point then why not have five kids to really fuck with the system here? The writers should have really ran with the whole "we're flipping the script and subverting expectations" thing.

I also don't give a shit if this is nitpicky, I'm sure you guys can all see there is something off about the omega kids.

I agree about the accessories doesn't really show they are connected with the Beta Kid adults. If the bandana is suppose to be like a replacement to how Roxy wears a scarf, then let the boy wear a scarf and not a stupid gay bandana. You think that Kanaya, who is a fashionista herself, would be critical of what her daughter, Vrissy wears. And if you are saying she would never reprimand her daughter because she looks like her crush, then that brings up a worse implication that she really is grooming her to be like Vriska by enabling her bad habits. What confuses me is Tavvy's overshirt has the matching color of Gamzee, the one who MOLESTED HIM. You think after his death, he would never wear that color and be disgusted by any shade of purple that's within his sight. Unless him still wearing that purple vest now is still symbolizing he is still bound by Gamzee or can't move on after what he did to him.

But yeah, nothing about the Omega Kids designs makes sense. And I still am on the side that laughs at Yiffany looking more like Nostalgia Critic.

[preservationofnormalcy]

How does magic work anyways?

For the Thrashwizard Molorov PSA it said that he can make something "conform to Rhythmorzaxian realspace" and that boosts his power. So is it realm/universe linked?

Also, is realm hopping easy? I want to see my alternate universe selves and have a grand old time.

From, New to this here extranormal thing

(p.s. Jenny: I agree)

This is a big question, and thus I turn to our biggest brain: Ambrose Delgado, our local wizard and smartest man on the planet. He'll take it from here.

Ah, hello! This just does speech to text? Good! Good! I'm Ambrose, and Norm said you guys had some really interesting ontological-thaumaturgical questions, and boy I am just itching to draw out my current ontological model in a format that's not some stuffy paper! Hah!

Pardon my bad drawing and my just awful handwriting, but this is what I'm currently working with. A lot of this is simplified for the, uh, purposes here, translating it to the layman - that's you - and a lot of this is....currently completely hypothetical or the ultimate extrapolation from thaumo-mathmetical models. There's some realm designations I knew off the top of my head, there's a few more we know of, of course. And....some I can't label, just due to their classification.

Imagine the universe as a series of bubbles - that's "us" in the, uh, middle here. And by "us" I mean the entirety of realspace, our galaxy and indeed universe. Though, once you get out to the edges of the universe, realspace starts to get...slippery, ontologically speaking. At least, according to our models, there's some very interesting work being done in France right now regarding how much the edges bleed--

Sorry, yes, the model. Right. So, you have the bubble that is "us" and our realspace, and then the skin of the bubble, a dimensional barrier. That's currently a very hard thing to pierce. It can fail, randomly, and objects or people drift, but that's, you know, incredibly rare. It's hard to punch through and even harder to do so safely. Currently, we can't....consistently do it. At least, not in a way that satisfies modern thaumaturgical standards. A lot of the older wizards insist they used to be able to pop over to Albion Dieselsands or Old Charlie for the weekend, but frankly I don't believe them.

Just going through my labels here - so you have the dimensional barrier, then what's outside it. I know Norm's talked about it, but the colloquial idea of an "alternate universe" is not really something that exists. Many-Worlds is mostly incorrect. Mostly because choices do have the potential to create another "bubble" in our local multiversal map, it's just....very rare. Not every choice or turning point has that potential, and of the ones that do, an exponentially small number seems to actually result in a split, though he's mentioned "quantum potentiality", a concept that I think really hasn't been studied enough. I actually think that--

The model. So, the result is that "alternate universes" are mostly extremely divergent from ours, like our friend Thrashwizard's native Rhythmorzax. The terms "alternate universe" and "realm" are interchangeable. The "similarity gap" label refers to the concept that almost all realms are wildly different than ours, due to the nature of how splits work. We aren't....totally sure how it works, of course - are we the "prime"? Are we a "split"? The model is onto-centric, we aren't actually in the "center." A simplification to help readability. The ultimate answer to your "other you" question is it's extremely, incredibly unlikely that an entity meant to be an "other you" even exists, even if you were to find a realm where they could and breach the barrier.

The other labels. The "noo-drift cloud" refers to the concept that, well, concepts drift to other realms, or are shared - the dimensional barrier is somewhat noospherically permeable. That's why ideas like "metal music" are found on even the otherwise wildly divergent Rhythmorzax. A more accurate diagram would look like a Venn diagram, with noospheric circles overlapping.

You can see the more alien-less alien "meter" here - it's generally true that the more wildly divergent realms are more alien to us, in a familiarity sense. Heck, 99-Puppet doesn't even have humans or even human-adjacents on it.

This is where your question about magic comes in. See, most realms have a system of magic unique to that realm. When you're trained in one magic system, it's...it's like a language. Language has a huge effect on how your brain works, and so does a system of magic. Going to another realm is like being forced to learn a new dialect or even a new language. It's possible, sure, and might be easier for you because you know magic in the first place, but it can be quite a challenge. Again, our friend the Thrashwizard is already practiced in local thaumaturgical space, and his ability to "ontologically terraform" space temporarily is quite dangerous, as yes, that does put him on more familiar ground, magically-speaking.

Describing how magic works is...tricky if you're not already trained, and witches will have a different answer from wizards, who will have a different answer than warlocks, etc, etc. The way my brain conceptualizes it is...accessing an unimaginably large computer and requesting changes to the world - if you know the language the computer speaks and have the mental energy to send the request, it'll prioritize it to....immediately, really.

The last labels, on the right there - you can see the typical influence range of draconic or angelic/demonic entities. They have a much easier time traveling than we do, of course, though angels and demons seem to have settled on this one for reasons that are currently unclear. Dragons come and go, as they are....wont to do.

Oh, and you can see the....big bubble. It's current prevailing theory that the larger multiverse just....repeats, fractally. There's an unknown number of big bubbles out there, all of them unfathomably alien. IF any of you remember our communications with T!ss, they came from a bubble one or two removed from ours. Further out than that, it's....currently hypothetical. Outsiders, actually, are currently thought to exist in the space between bubbles, but I try not to dwell on what that means.

Hopefully that answered some of your questions!

[slowdrippingnoise]

I cannot stop thinking about Fords dream. Plan sexual? Is this aroace confirmation??

"Attracted to planning" my ass. What happened to attracted to strange and the strange was always attracted to him?? You are a weirdo, except it

I an aroace and i was concerned that Ford will be straight in TBOB but now i am just confused???

I see you want to scream about the book of bill. Please scream at me i need someone else in this madness

OK!!!! so this is an extremely interesting question, and my perception of it is very heavily influenced by this interview being fresh in my mind (you've probably already read/watched but if not go do that it's great) towards the end you can find alex answering a question about ford being interpreted as queer- and basically talking about how ford is written as extremely romantically/interpersonally repressed in general- I won't try to summarize it i genuinely recommend just going and reading that, he describes it all better than I could (and again maybe you already have idk)

I feel like the tbob dream note could be taken a number of ways (and, while I wouldn't actually ask it cause i feel like leaving it up to imagination is actually more interesting in a creative engagement kind of way, i'm desperate to know what hypothetical answers are hiding behind that "usually" oh ford) but the thing that sticks out to me is. i mean it's very difficult to read it as straight isn't it. ford has recurring dreams about being quizzed on "what he's attracted to" and consistently dodges the question (doesn't even give a straightforward answer like "nothing", he misdirects back onto his logical smartguy persona) it's definitely a nod to fans too, sure, but in-character it's no-way-out firmly establishing that his sexuality specifically is on the Grand List of Stanford Pines Insecurities. we definitely got a nod to this way back in j3 of course- the ford&fidds campout conversation- but this i think this new tidbit betrays a much more internal fixation/anxiety than "it's confusing to me and I don't really want to think about it for more that a minute at a time" (<-the vibe his j3 stuff had more of to me) TL;DR whatever he is, i do not think you can call this man canonically straight at all lmao. W

(ok i'm losing track of my own thoughts a bit here. i should've outlined this like an essay lmao. back on track-)

In terms of what I personally believe/headcanon? honestly i'm in a funny in-between place right now- if you asked me last week i'd just say "he's gay probably" but this has me Thinking now in a more "ok, what cooperates best with canon and how I personally view him" way and the "ford aroace" people are making some interesting points. my most recent idea of him that i've been rolling around in my mindscape like a shiny rock goes basically like this:

(putting this under a cut)(also this goes wildly off-topic for a while because i love talking about ford. i promise it is tangentially related and relevant to my argument)

ford is repressed in how he deals with people because people are confusing and often scary (history of bullying and ostracization, we all hc him as some kind of autistic, etc.), and this extends to how he views romance/sex- if you don't see yourself as safe/belonging among other humans it can be extremely difficult to imagine yourself in such intimate dynamics with them (accepted, loved) and ford is very well established to close himself off to keep himself safe. the prospect of "romance" is by default more unsettling than it could ever really be comforting to him (within his ability to imagine it, at least) outside of the rarer "what if i was just normal and nobody bothered me for existing" fantasy, which is its own can of worms,,

another part of this is my (more arbitrary/i know because im right forever/because i lived it) hc that the elder pines twins' parents didn't really love each other by the time they were raising stan and ford, it was more of a "we both pay the rent/keep the family going, we may not strictly like each other and yeah there's a screaming fight or two every few years, but divorce is off the table because it would leave us both financially up the creek, so you do what you gotta do" situation. which has the potential to do. things. to how you think about Traditional Ideas of Couples and Suchlike. take my word for it.

another important part, though i find myself getting technically off-topic for a ways here, my apologies- i've been thinking about ford's Patterns with his attachments, in that he generally has one Main Person to focus on and trust at a time, and for a most of his life these attachments end Badly- throughout his entire adolescence he has stanley as that person, they exist in constant contrast to each other, their own self-perceptions are defined by their existence as a duo, covering for each other's weaknesses (to the extent that they can ignore traits in themselves that "double up", so to speak- stanley is the dumb muscle and ford is the booksmart genius with potential- no way out of that)(their dad affects this too)(oof) he and stan have a really awful falling-out that leaves ford with the belief that his One Person was willing to sabotage his future, completely disregarding ford's own feelings or sense of security and agency, just to get his way. (strike 1.5? against ford's ability to trust people) --- in college he attached to his roommate, fiddleford- and they genuinely get along and compliment each other really well! they're besties for life! yippee! so ford has a Person again, to exist next to, to prop himself up. but their lives go in different directions- they both move on with their studies/careers, and ford winds up in gravity falls, alone, where he has trouble again interacting with the locals and spends all his time wandering the woods, with endless hours for introspection. --- enter- Bill! :) bill becomes ford's 3rd Person, and he flatters ford and manipulates him and validates him and offers him everything he could ever shallowly imagine would solve all his problems and patch up the gaping hole in his self-worth forever definitely (while reminding him of what he remembers/imagines of his brother most likely, ow) bill is also more "safe" than other people, he's an anomaly, a supernatural phenomenon, even, and he lives exclusively inside ford's head. he's a perfect, safe, obsession target. (billford situationship essay for another day)

until he's not, of course.

until his college bestie Person is back too, and he's more Real than bill in a way that's very comforting, but fidds is another strong influence, one for the better, and bill can't have that around, he has to go. after that his relationship with bill also turns sour extremely quickly in a terrifying way, which leaves ford shaken and unmoored and desperate, which leaves... stan.

which also falls apart. (strikes 2, 3 and 1.5-the-sequal in rapid succession)

the 30 years spent multiverse-hopping are interesting to me too in how they affected ford- i think being around so much "abnormality"/being disconnected from his own world's ideas of normal did a lot to mellow him out- but he still couldn't really stick around anywhere to form deeper bonds with anybody, he's a wanderer until bill is dead, which may well end up killing ford in the process, so...

then! he's back home! which is bad! (from his perspective) but gives him the opportunity to try to Attach to a 4th Person- dipper! this was a secret essay on why i think he's Like That about dipper all along not about romance at all haha trick'd'ya! (i'm joking)

anyway you get the idea- fortunately he has a slightly wider support net by the end of the show between stan, fiddleford, and the kids- but to me it's relevant in that ford has a very limited network of people who he is close to at all, considering that his view on romantic relationships seems to orbit around "don't wanna think about that/that's scary, I don't know/etc.", and that for a long time the relationships(platonic or otherwise) that he did have were defined by their ending in trauma, guilt, and shame. it makes sense to me for him to not really be able to figure himself out, how do you dissect all the layers of the bonds you do manage to form, tease out one strong emotion from another, especially when you're always afraid of ruining something because this is all you have?

I guess, given all that rambling, to me he lands within some combination of demi-aroace(attraction of any kind is rare and difficult to distinguish from other emotions, needs a strong base first) and too repressed and deeply, deeply traumatized to really say what comes naturally and what's his brain trying to protect him from being hurt. he knows that something is, by the standards of humanity, "wrong" with him, but it's just another note on a long list of "reasons normal people don't like him". and he's gay.

-----

ok i probably forgot some stuff but i think thats my thoughts on that lmao. anyway BOOK OF BILL this makes me. so crazy. hasnt left my brain for days. i will never be the same i called these shots i CALLED them. but i couldn't imagine. anyway-

while i'm still talking about ford, i love that this book let him be more emotionally vulnerable than j3 did, i feel like there was a harsher impression of ford among fans for a long time (at least, with people who weren't already Obsessed with him) because he has limited time in the actual show for his character to be established, and a lot of j3 either had him on the defensive, or still stuck in "everything ever is my fault" mode. getting a better view both of how bill manipulated him, and how he's still affected by it "postcanon" puts him way more in line with. how i've seen him all along basically!! augh. he's lonely and insecure and afraid and wants so, so badly to connect to people,, "the ego of a king. the insecurity of a circus freak." compare to "my immense self hatred vs my delusional god complex" we were so right.

his last section of the book is. so so perfect i'm so glad we have that- it wraps up what felt like a loose end with other pieces of canon leaving him on "i'm the biggest idiot in the world" which felt. bad. all things considered. but tbob lets him air out that soul-crushing shame in such a beautiful way- both in letting us the audience actually See how it was with him and bill before, and his family reassuring him that they love him and don't carry some massive sense of Blame for him being manipulated... it hurts good man. perfect place to end on. he's gonna be ok it'll be ok.

related- possession pages go crazy. like that is some "i've read fanfiction less fucked up than this" shit and I [the rest of this sentence redacted for my dignity] what was i saying. the dream scene was so viscerally upsetting. the "light switch". the stretching. (alex drop a link to your ao3 account. urgh) bill is so so so scary for that brief moment which is an amaaazing essential addition to the book that actually made me feel horrifically personally sorry for the little bastard for the first time maybe ever. i mean this so genuinely he's the worst he's been he's the saddest he's been it's a beautiful tapestry drawing me in. it's gonna occupy my brain for weeks. maybe months. he's desperate to hold on to ford he's desperate for his plans to work for once and he's pissed as hell but also now he has an excuse to cut loose- he doesn't have to hide his angry, shitty, abusive side from this little human that he's grown so attached to(who he sees himself in)- he can see ford and ford can see him (or, what he's willing to think of as "himself")(where did you all go-) and ford is just living a nightmare that he couldn't have possibly imagined. incredible

i'm practiced at being emo about ford i've been emo about ford since 2015 but the bill thing is new to me (not strictly the lore, i was around for the reddit AMAs/the axolotl poem, but the elaboration-) and it's killing me. he's so fucked. he's hopeless. he's fucked himself up so bad and refuses to get any better because just looking at it inside his head is too much. there's a loud buzzing in his ears and he blacks out for 30 seconds. everyone loved him he was the best baby ever. sixer, it would eat you alive. the doctor says three sips a day will make the visions go away. where did you all go. he's fine, he's fine, he's fine. it's all hitting me fresh like it's brand new, funy nightmare triangle abandonment issues go brrrr-

he wants ford to want him so bad he wants to not be alone so bad. hes awful he ruins every chance he gets and it's all genuinely his own fault. fuck (im not gonna talk about "pain is hilarious" im not gonna be cringe im not gonna do it) blacked-out list of exes love and fear are the same love cage you're my property if lost return to bill cipher covered in blood all alone in the universe-

I was gonna elaborate on those last scraps but. i am running out of brain. big week for ford enjoyers. big week for me being so so sad (/pos) ☀️

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

@[REDACTED] because you heathens can't let someone fucking LEARN. op, I intend this kindly, but I can tell you would not be a friend to terfs and this whole thing is rooted in terf brainrot. I'm choosing community today and going to explain why this is terfy shit fucking over trans mascs.

so the core of the terf belief system is that there is a bioessentialist Quality Of Men that makes them fundamentally an Oppressor who can never face marginalization, right? we disagree with that because we love trans people--both women and men. if men are Fundamentally Oppressors, you can't Change Genders. here's the thing. under the premise of "transmasculine oppression does not occur at any axis so they can't have this word", you have removed the bioessentialist aspect but still accepted that there is a Quality Of Men that innately makes them an Oppressor that can never face marginalization.

now the next logical step that we've taken from "men can never be oppressed or have a -phobia term" is that because the "base model" or cis men aren't oppressed and don't face what would hypothetically be "androphobia," trans men cannot create the term "transandrophobia" to describe their real experiences of pain and oppression. despite this weird semantic caveat, we both fully and entirely agree that trans men/mascs do face real oppression specifically due to being Trans Men/Mascs that is different in nature from the cruelty and oppression that Trans Women/Femmes face. so we fully agree that the phenomenon is real, but you and many others are for some reason saying they cannot have a word to describe it. they can't have a word to describe their real experiences because the "base model" doesn't face oppression and we hate the base model so much they specifically do not and can never have a -phobia word.

what is the point of this? who does this help?

it helps terfs keep trans mascs isolated is who it helps. i just. i think the toxicity of the idea is really represented in action right now. because we are talking about a group of men/masculine people who are actively specifically marginalized. they are telling us they are being targeted for detransition and conversion therapy. they are trying to tell us something and we aren't listening because we're playing semantic games over what words they're allowed to use. because they aren't oppressed enough to "be at an axis." in practice right now, it seems like "be at an axis" has turned into "have a real voice in the community." there needs to be room here, conversations where "trans masc" isn't a performative placeholder for "passing trans men," more fluid boundaries between "Man" and "Woman" and how people identified within those categories face marginalization, less hatred for Men and more love for queer life and liberation. not just to be inclusive of nonbinary people who also exist and face weird mixes of both of these real things--transandrophobia and transmisogyny-- but because right now we are denying solidarity to members of our community and limiting our own discussion and understanding in favor of forcing a Very Harassed Group Of Us to endlessly workshop the term over petty semantic grievances.

and I'm sorry but i really. just need us to collectively take a moment and reflect that the grievance is "this word could be broken down into another word we wouldn't like." and i don't really know what to do with that. there are a lot of good reasons to use the term "transandrophobia" not the least of which is because it's immediately descriptive under the language rules we all know (the marginalization/hate that trans men face) but because it fits in with all of the other queer terms--biphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, aphobia, queerphobia--we generally went hard in terms of "phobia" terms. trans-andro-phobia seems perfectly reasonable to me to describe the hatred of trans men. i am really really sad that "'andro' can't be in a 'phobia' word because men can never be oppressed" became the dominant discourse on this because it really is just. mean. it's just mean-spiritied. 'misandry' already exists. if whatever you were scared of was gonna happen, it already would have. i really cannot comprehend the preferencing of some nebulous possible harm of "androphobia" over and above our ability to describe real problems facing members of our community.

again i ask you, who does this help? trans mascs are our community and they are being attacked brutally and quietly and we aren't talking about it because?? men can't be oppressed because they're not on an axis? they are asking us for solidarity. and they need it.

trans men are asking us to see that terfs weaponize murderous language against trans women but they are no less genocidal in their aims of targeting trans men and mascs for de-transition, conversion therapy, and corrective rape. "lost lesbians" and "lost daughters" and "irreversible damage" are rallying cries and money makers among the far right--they say "keep your daughters daughters, keep them in the ontological category of victim before they become a predator."

the hostility to the term transandrophobia because "men can't be oppressed" is the internalization of the terf belief that men are fundamentally and innately predators and oppressors instead of people reacting to their position under the system of patriarchy. it's a belief that never allows for the destruction of the patriarchy. it says you can never be a gender-traitor unless you're the right gender--a feminine gender (woman) fighting against the innately violent masculine onslaught (men). there are straight cis men who fight against toxic male gender norms and face violence for it, too. this model cannot articulate that violence beyond "homophobia" and it cannot articulate the violence against our trans brothers beyond "transphobia" and that is a failure. that is not ideological purity-- that is an active failure to real and living members of your community. we need to articulate it.

transandrophobia is a perfectly serviceable term to describe a real problem that needs a term. trans men and mascs face specific violences. your response literally agrees that it's real. we have both stated on multiple occasions that agree that it's real. so we need to be able to talk about it. so we need a word for it.

i would encourage you in general to prioritize people's wellbeing over and above linguistic purity. especially right now when things are getting worse and worse and worse for ALL trans people.

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[hikaritakaishi]

Takari Week 2024 - Day 3: Third Meeting

Days: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Title: Intertwined (Third Meeting)

Characters: Takeru Takaishi, Hikari Yagami, Daisuke Motomiya

Summary: They didn't know how, or when it started but they had developed the habit of holding each other’s hands. They were just friends and that was their love language. It felt safe, comfortable, needed.

" Can you promise me not to hold anyone else, the way you hold me?"

Note: A collection of stories that gives us an insight into Takeru and Hikari's relationship over the years. It was really hard to put all the prompts explicitly in the story, so I tried to metaphorize some of them, in order for them to make sense at the end.

It is composed of two prologues, one for Takeru and one for Hikari, exposing events before 1999. And a final epilogue, summarizing all the feelings exposed in the previous chapters. In the intermediate chapters, we follow all the challenges that a long-term friendship has to face when it becomes a romantic relationship, and how we form solid and permanent bonds with the ones we love the most.

・。。・゜゜・。。・

The three classmates walked calmly through the school corridors, talking and laughing about the trivial things they were sharing.

Daisuke Motomiya was the loudest, and without a doubt the one who talked the most. A carefree and extremely social spirit, exempt from any type of judgment from anyone who thought that he could be too much.

Takeru and Hikari accompanied him to the lockers, holding hands.

They, despite openly admitting that they were just friends, had habits that seemed peculiar to most of their colleagues.

Holding hands were one of them.

It was not uncommon to catch them casually walking around like that. They didn't know how, or when it started but they had developed this habit, that they defended as a normal display of affection between two individuals that happened to be friends. Just friends.

Many believed it was an excuse not to draw attention to them and to their hypothetical romantic relationship, but the reality was that in fact, they were just friends who felt immensely comfortable in each other’s company.

“Now we must pray that my notebook is here, and not at home. Otherwise, I'm screwed.”

Daisuke took a small key out of his pocket and placed his two hands together as if it was real prayer.

“Please, please, please…”

“That’s what you get for not taking care of your own things! You need to learn be more responsible.” Hikari commented in a light joking tone.

“But I am responsible! Just not… always.”

Slowly, he put the key in the locker and turned it. He closed his eyes. He could hear his friends behind him laughing at his exaggerated theatre of despair. One eye after the other, he looked inside.

“I can’t believe it, it’s here! It is here!” He hugged the notebook as if his life depended on it.

“What a drama queen!” Takeru rolled his eyes and softly let Hikari’s hand go. It felt empty for a while.

He looked for something in the right pocket of his light brown uniform trousers. Also took out a locker key, identical to the one Daisuke had. But before doing anything else, he noticed a small white paper coming out of his locker, which was placed right next to Daisuke’s.

“What… again?” He commented while taking it out.

“Again indeed!" Daisuke affirmed a little bit surprised “It’s the third one in two weeks! I think we have a record!”

Hikari stayed silent for a while, only admiring what was going on with the most forced neutral look in her face, trying her best to look completely unbothered by this succession of events. She surreptitiously grabbed her uniform skirt with the hand that Takeru had let go of, as if trying to fill the void she was feeling.

At this point she was just accepting it as normal. Takeru was very popular, she understood it. Her childhood friend was a complete magnet for female attention.

“What’s written? Is it signed? Do you recognize the name?”

“Let me see.”

 Very slowly, Takeru unwrapped the paper. It was written in clearly feminine handwriting. The effort to look beautifully appellative was explicit. Red ink pen. Several hearts drawn, and a poetic request.

“I’ve been admiring you from afar for a while, just waiting for you to notice my presence. But you don't even seem to know I exist. Please come and meet me, after classes, in the main courtyard. Today I'm wearing a pink bow in my hair, and red sneakers.” Daisuke read what was written on that small piece of paper in a theatrical tone. In a failed attempt to sound romantic.

To Hikari, it all seemed just pathetic. An unnecessary pleasantry ceremony.

“Oh, here we go again.”  Takeru laughed as he wrapped the paper up again and awkwardly put it inside his pocket.

“Do you recognize the handwriting, Hikari?”

“Ah?”

“Could it be from someone we know? A classmate maybe?”

“I don’t usually notice people’s handwriting, Daisuke, nor the way they like to draw hearts.”

Unfortunately for her, this last sentence came out in a slightly rude resonance.

She just didn't want to talk about that stupid paper, or what could potentially happen after classes because of it.

Remembers being shocked when Takeru received the first one. Even though to him, it all seemed like nothing was happening.

She felt her heart break slightly during that day, and the fear of losing her friend filled her with insecurities. Couldn't focus on anything else other than that, until he told her that he had politely rejected the girl who wrote it. But it all happened again, and again. Hikari felt exhausted.

I can’t let myself feel like that again, she thought.

Daisuke and Takeru went ahead towards the classroom, possibly talking about what happened, Daisuke’s arm around Takeru's shoulders while Hikari stayed behind, walking slower on purpose. She wasn't in the mood to participate, just wanted to save herself as much as she could to avoid more headaches related to that.

“Admit Takeru, of all the girls who have already declared themselves to you, how many have you kissed? No, wait! Who kissed better?”

“What are you talking about!” Takeru laughed. “I did not kiss any of them!”

“Oh, come on! Don’t lie! If it was me…”

Their voices seemed distant, even though they were just in front of her a few meters.

Hikari stopped in the middle of the hallway, clearly hurt by that inconvenient discussion. She clearly made a mistake in letting herself fall in love with Takeru. And now she was paying the price for her childish illusions. He might even hold her hand, but that doesn't mean anything. At least not to him, it seemed.

“Hikari?”

She heard someone calling her name. Absurd in her thoughts, she didn't even notice that they had already reach their classroom. And she was still there, standing still, like an absolute idiot.

“Hikari, are you ok?” Takeru approached her and touched gently the hand that he had previously held.

“Yes!” In a rapid movement, she pulled her hand away from his. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

She avoided his eyes. Passed in front of him and entered the classroom, leaving Takeru behind with a confused look in his face.  

She didn't even look at me, he thought. Sighed. All because of a silly piece of paper.

・。。・゜゜・。。・

Daisuke stretched out in his chair right after the bell went off.

“It’s finally over!” He yawned and stretched his arms up “Hi, Takeru! Hurry up, pretty girls do not deserve to wait!”

“You seem more excited than me. You know, it's not pleasant having to explain to someone that you don't... you feel the same way about them.”

Takeru was calmly organizing his things in his backpack. He always tried to be the most respectful and honest person when it comes to other people’s feelings. His mother had taught him not to take advantage or hurt anyone just for his own ego, and he followed that strictly.

Hikari pretended not to hear them, and packed her things as quickly as she could. She didn't want to talk to anymore, nor did she want to know what would happen in that meeting. She got up from her chair and took the backpack in her hands.

“Wait Hikari, I will go with you” Daisuke was so engaged in the conversation that he didn't even notice her getting ready to leave.

“Hikari, wait.”

Takeru gently touched her arm before she walked through the door, to capture her attention. “Wait for me, it won’t be long, I promise.”

“Ok… understood.”  Daisuke got up “I can go on my own. But tomorrow I want to know what happened!”

Hikari looked at Takeru and stood still, waiting for Daisuke and the rest of the class to leave.

“You should go. She is waiting for you.”

They were all alone now. He held her hand once again. She didn't move this time. Instead, she looked deep in his eyes. A deep dark blue sky. Felt the warmth of his hand.

“I know, but I will leave my things here with you, just for you to know that I will be back.”

“It’s ok, you can go. I’ll wait.”

He gave her one last glanced and smiled weakly.

When he left, she took a big breath. Sat back in her chair and closed her eyes.

“What am I doing here…” murmured.

Why even care about that? It wasn't like she was going to stop him from doing anything. Pitiful. She felt ridiculous. What was she waiting for? An apology? For what? Being popular? For being the focus of the female attention? She had nothing to do with it.

The ticking of the wall clock was irritating her. She felt the pressure of time. How much time had passed since he left?

Shortly after, heard footsteps back in the hallway. Hikari opened her eyes slowly. Eyes fixed on the door. Finally, Takeru was there.

“How did it go?”

“As usual. She told me that she liked me, and that she would like to go on a... date with me.”

He reached for a chair and sat next to her, looking her in the eyes. There was a certain type of sadness in his eyes, which she didn't quite understand.

“And you?”

“I thanked her as politely as I could, but I rejected her proposal, of course.”

“I see. Was she pretty?”

“I don’t know. “Takeru laughed “It depends on what you intend for aesthetically pleasing.”

Hikari laughed as well and felt her heart getting lighter. He had very strange ways of making her feel better.

“Tell me, what’s wrong?”  Slowly, he reached for her hand to meet his. “Did I hurt you?” Those eyes she knew by heart didn’t lie. He really cared about her and genuinely wanted to know what was concerning her. She realized that she needed to be honest with him.

“No, no you didn’t. I just felt a little… insecure. About this whole situation. “ Her discomfort was evident. She was terrible at expressing her feelings, but with him she knew she could be vulnerable.

“I understand. I also feel very uncomfortable when I see boys looking at you… that way.”

“Takeru, don’t play with…”

“I am not. I am not playing you. Please don’t ever think that.”

A moment of silence. Neither of them knew what to say.

Hikari followed what her heart was saying and simply hugged him. She felt him hugging her back, bringing her closer. Heard his heartbeat, and it sounded like home.

“Takeru, can you promise me that… you will not hold anyone else, the way you hold me?”  

“Don’t worry, trust me.”

・。。・゜゜・。。・