#and I need some time to separate my anger and my love for the characters

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Imperfect Couple - 3

Character: politician!Bucky x ex-wife!reader

Summary: A separated couple must pretend to be happily married while the husband runs for Vice President, dealing with old issues and political pressures during his election campaign.

Warning: The couple's arguments could be triggering.

A/N: Steve Rogers is older than Bucky here.

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10 , Chapter 11 , Chapter 12 , Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

You arrived at the new apartment, feeling a small sense of relief for finally being under a different roof than Caroline’s. The thought of enduring the same torture as before made your skin crawl.

As you settled in, you broke the silence. “Your mom offered the attorney to us.” You remembered how you had insisted the divorce attorney make it as quick and painless as possible. “Why didn’t you finalize it?”

Bucky’s gaze remained steady. “Not once did I think you were actually going to leave me.”

“There’s no marriage between us,” you shot back, your voice sharp. “If you’d finalized it, you could’ve easily married a woman your mother approved of.”

Flashback Start

You recalled every time Caroline mentioned another woman’s name as if they were more suited for Bucky. “You know, Rachel just graduated summa cum laude from Harvard in social politics,” she had said at the rehearsal dinner.

Then, on your wedding day, as you and Bucky sat together, trying to enjoy the celebration, Caroline approached, holding hands with a stunning woman. “Bucky, look who’s here? Katherine just arrived from London.”

Caroline’s voice dripped with approval. “Both of them went to the same law school.”

You clenched the fork in your hand so hard you thought it might snap.

Why the hell was she introducing another woman to you on your wedding night?

Did she expect you and Bucky to have a threesome with Katherine?

From that moment, you knew your place—an outsider who didn’t come from the pedigree Caroline so desperately wanted for her son.

When you finally left the house, you remembered her raising her champagne glass with a smirk. “I always knew you weren’t the one.”

Flashback End

“They need someone with a spotless record,” Bucky said, breaking you from your thoughts.

You stood there, your emotions a mix of anger and disbelief.

“I’m not making excuses for you. I know the old me wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t be the man you could rely on,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret.

He looked at you with a desperation that caught you off guard. “You could poison my drink, stab me in my sleep. I wouldn’t fight it. I’d let you.”

His eyes, usually so confident and composed, were now filled with a deep, pained sincerity. The weight of his guilt seemed to crush him, and the shadows of remorse darkened his features. His hands trembled slightly, betraying the calm facade he tried to maintain.

Your breath hitched, your heart pounding in your chest. How could he say that so casually? What kind of twisted love was this?

“That’s how much I need you,” he confessed, his eyes never leaving yours.

“You’re using me,” you accused, your voice shaking with a mix of fury and sadness.

Bucky didn’t deny it. “Like I said, it’s a business relationship. But I’ve trusted you from the beginning. Put my faith in you.”

He reached out, taking your hands in his, holding them together like a prayer. “And I hope we can work together. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to work in the White House.””

🌸🌸🌸🌸

The following day, you met Steve, the future Presidential candidate. He greeted you warmly, his genuine smile easing some of the tension you felt. You’d met Steve and his wife, Peggy, a few times before—honest people who never treated you like you didn’t belong. Steve had even defended you whenever Caroline or others looked down on you for not being in the same league as them.

"I’m so glad you’re here," Steve said, clasping your hand. "When did you arrive?"

You chuckled softly. "Well, when three Secret Service agents showed up at my door, who was I to say no?"

Steve chuckled too, though there was a hint of awkwardness in his eyes. He tilted his head slightly. "Let’s talk."

You walked together, the air thick with unspoken words. "I know it’s difficult for you to be here. I owe you big time," Steve began sincerely. He had witnessed your marriage crumble, and despite his and Peggy’s best efforts to support you and Bucky, things had fallen apart.

You sighed. "What confuses me is, why me? He could’ve chosen another woman, someone way more qualified."

Steve leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. "To be honest, I think you’re the best option. He probably won’t show it, but Bucky was happy when he heard you were coming."

You scoffed, glancing over at Bucky, who was watching the two of you from a distance. "Impossible."

As you scanned the room, you spotted someone familiar—your brother, Tim. Excusing yourself from Steve, you made your way over to him.

"I’m glad you’re here," Tim said, his voice filled with warmth, though his eyes carried a weight of their own.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I can’t believe you. You knew what I went through, and yet you’re working with him? You sucked up to him."

"Look at me," Tim said firmly.

You glanced down at him, seeing the determination in his gaze.

"Who’s going to hire a disabled person like me?" Tim who seated on his wheelchair, his voice wavered slightly as he spoke. He had been born with both legs, but when bone cancer struck his left leg, the doctors recommended amputation to stop it from spreading. That surgery had shattered his dreams of becoming a professional tennis player.

"It was James who offered me a job," he emphasized, "with a high salary."

Tim continued, "You can keep your anger, but face it, Y/N—they won’t pay the bills. For people like me, I need more money to survive in this world."

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, Bucky appeared beside you.

"Hi, Tim."

"Hey," Tim replied.

"I'm going to steal your sister for a bit." Bucky turned to you. "Our next schedule is couple’s therapy," he said, his voice calm but authoritative, cutting the conversation short.

You hated this part. The thought of attending therapy with Bucky made your stomach twist with unease. You shot Tim one last look, a mixture of concern and frustration in your eyes, before following Bucky out of the room.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

As you and Bucky sat across from Aiden, the therapist, the atmosphere was thick with unresolved tension. The room was simple yet comfortable, with soft, neutral tones that were supposed to be calming but did little to ease the storm of emotions swirling within you. You could feel the weight of Bucky's presence beside you, a familiar heaviness that both comforted and suffocated you.

Aiden leaned forward, his expression neutral but attentive. "So, what are you feeling right now?"

You hesitated for a moment before speaking, your voice laced with frustration and exhaustion. "I don’t think I have the courage to live another day in his family. His mother is the devil spawn. Even seeing her shadow triggers me." The words spilled out of you, raw and unfiltered, a reflection of the years of pain and resentment you'd kept bottled up.

Aiden nodded, his gaze shifting to Bucky. "And what about you, Mr. Barnes?"

Bucky's eyes remained fixed on a spot on the floor, his voice steady but lacking its usual conviction. "I didn’t think that way. As long as we stick together, we can get through everything." There was a hint of desperation in his tone, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you.

You turned to look at him, disbelief and anger simmering beneath your calm facade. "From the beginning, we should’ve never gotten married. You only focus on yourself, never bothering to look behind you. Me, trying my best to fit into your circles."

Your voice wavered, the painful truth of your words cutting through the silence like a knife. You had always known you were out of his league—young and innocent, believing that love could conquer all.

But you had been wrong, and the reality of that mistake was too much to bear.

His mother’s voice echoed in your mind, the countless times she’d told you that you weren’t good enough, that you didn’t deserve him.

"Your mother was right. I don’t deserve you," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Bucky’s expression tightened, his guilt etched into every line of his face. "I’m sorry. I really am sorry." His voice cracked, the weight of his regret finally breaking through.

He had never wanted this—to see you hurt, to see you broken because of him and his family. But the damage was done, and the guilt gnawed at him, relentless and unforgiving.

Aiden observed the exchange, his eyes narrowing slightly as he spoke. "I see that you’re the victim here, ma’am. And your former mother-in-law is the main reason why." He glanced at Bucky, his voice firm. "Mr. Barnes, your mother hurt her deeply, and now you must do everything in your power to make amends."

Bucky nodded, his voice thick with emotion. "I will. I'll do anything to erase the hurt you’ve received from her." The sincerity in his voice was palpable, but it was clear that the guilt weighed heavily on him. He had failed to protect you, to shield you from his mother’s venom, and that failure haunted him.

Aiden’s voice softened, but there was a steely resolve in his words. "Use this pain, both of you. Let it fuel you to confront Caroline, to reclaim your strength. Don’t let her win. Turn this pain into power."

As you sat there, the enormity of the situation began to sink in. You had been through so much, and the path ahead was uncertain. You had expected to loathe the couple’s therapy, but surprisingly, it turned out to be a beneficial experience.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

After the couple's therapy, the silence between you and Bucky was palpable, each of you grappling with the raw emotions that had surfaced.

The therapy had stripped away your filters, leaving you both exposed—your anger and frustration flowing freely. Bucky remained stoic, absorbing your harsh words with an almost resigned patience.

Returning to the Barnes household, the atmosphere was thick with tension. The room was filled with Bucky’s family: his parents, Julius and Caroline; his brother, Shawn, who struggled with cocaine and felt diminished by his inability to meet Caroline’s lofty expectations; and Hazel, Bucky’s sister and Nate’s mother.

Hazel, having felt overshadowed as the spare child, had chosen a career in fashion to escape the constant comparison to Bucky, who was seen as the golden child.

You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy for Shawn and Hazel, both of whom shared your misery under Caroline’s disdain. But that sympathy was tempered by their enjoyment of watching you suffer, thanks to their mother’s contempt.

Greg, a family friend, was the bearer of the news that the whole family would attend the upcoming convention event.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” you said firmly, your tone clipped.

“Why… why?” Greg asked, confused.

Caroline rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Here we go.”

Bucky tried to interject, “Don’t…”

You cut him off with a steely gaze. “After that consultation, you still want to continue this?”

Caroline's eyes narrowed. “I knew we couldn’t trust her.”

Shawn chuckled, and Hazel remained indifferent.

“Quiet,” Julius commanded, his voice brooking no argument. The room fell silent.

With a sense of finality, you approached Caroline. “You’re so jealous of me,” you said, your voice dripping with disdain.

Caroline’s eyes widened, a mixture of anger and shock. “What are you talking about?”

“Because you know I’m going to get what you can’t have,” you smirked, savoring the moment. “Being the wife of the Vice President.”

“You bitch,” Caroline spat, something snapped inside her. Deep down, you were right—she was jealous of you. You were younger, smarter, and luckier. It was her dream to be in your position, but now it seemed like she had paved the way for you instead. What’s worse, you didn’t fit her criteria at all. She felt you didn’t deserve this.

Without warning, Caroline lunged at you, grabbing your hair. The two of you were soon locked in a fierce struggle, yanking each other’s hair and grappling with a fury that left no room for remorse. The physical confrontation was liberating, an outlet for all the anger you had been holding back.

You felt no fear and no guilt towards the seventy-year-old woman. At last, you could release all the anger you had been holding in.

Waiting for karma takes too long, and you can’t expect God to do all the work. So you took this chance to give her a lesson she won’t forget.

“Stop! STOP!” Bucky and Julius’s voices cut through the chaos as they tried to separate you. Shawn and Hazel, their faces a mix of curiosity and apathy, slowly backed away from the scene.

It was a struggle to pry you apart; Caroline, in her rage, was more unruly and disheveled compared to your own controlled fury.

“Hufft,” you adjusted your disheveled dress and hair, glaring at Caroline with a fierce, triumphant look. “You know what? I hope your son wins, so I can rub my new position right in your face.”

Caroline’s expression was one of shock and fury, her face a portrait of someone who had been dealt a blow she wasn’t prepared for. Her eyes were wild with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

“You’re absolutely right,” you looked at Bucky, your voice steady. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to live in the White House.”

Caroline’s gritted her teeth.

“If the world wants to see us as a happily married couple,” you said with a cold smile, “I’ll give them the most blissful marriage they’ve ever seen. It’ll be the kind of marriage everyone talks about when they mention a perfect union.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise at your cold declaration. For a moment, he was stunned, but as he processed your words, admiration and pride flickered across his face. He straightened, a hint of a smile forming, clearly impressed by your bold resolve and newfound strength.

Join the tag list:

@thezombieprostitute

@thetravelingtyper

@scott-loki-barnes

@mostlymarvelgirl

@dexter99

@missvelvetsstuff

@kjah97

@tfatwsoldir

@barnesxstan

@toldyouitwasamelodrama

@secret-sheee

@esposadomd

@buckitostan

@wh0reforbucknasty

@bada-lee-ily

@mrsstuckyboo

@iamasimpingh0e

@loki-laufeyson68

@sidraaaaaaaaa

@aritoocute

@preeyansha

@crazyunsexycool

@anixerz

@mcira

@touchstarvedforbuckybarnes

@pattiemac1

@elizalexwil

@gingersnap-2

@whitexwolfxx310

@marvel-wifey-86

@kumointhesky

@hnnhbananananana

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@nouis-bum

@vioplay19

@thebuckybarnesvault

@unaxv

@hzdhrtss

@blackbirdwitch22

@darsynia

@lokislady82

@bonkybarnes106

@kandis-mom

@imrandomstuffsblog

@chimchoom

@wintrsoldrluvr

@greatenthusiasttidalwave

@sebastians-love

@kythefangirl25

@mrsnikstan

@identity2212

@justsebstan

[zayneslady]

hey!! loved that angst fic you wrote xx can i request the boys reaction to when the reader/mc and them are in an argument, and they accidentally said something extremely hurtful and it made reader cry. make the boys regret it so much pls hehe😼 thank you 💗

warnings: angst, open ending again hehe and again, reader is not MC

characters: Zayn, Xavier, Rafayel x reader (separately)

a/n: my first request *-* thank you so much! This exact trope is one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy it! Get your tissues ready! Also thank you to everyone's support in my first post! I'm so happy! ❤️

Classification: scenarios

ZAYNE ❄️

You didn't want to admit it, but you were sick. During the day you felt a little sore in your throat and your nose was stuffy. Arriving at Zayne's house after work, it was more than obvious that you had a fever. Your face was red and the chills running through your body made you shiver. 

There was nothing else to do, you would miss work tomorrow to fully recover. Furthermore, with the care of your loving doctor, you knew you'd be fine in no time. So you quickly took a shower and after drying your hair, you grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch with a cold patch on your forehead, waiting for Zayne patiently. 

To your surprise, he arrived at a normal time and your heart vibrated with joy when you saw him enter. He had his head low as he stepped out of his shoes and closed the door behind him. 

"Zayne! Welcome back! How was your day?” You greeted him as he shrugged his coat off. “Guess what," you said, giggling softly because it was quite obvious by your funny voice that you were sick. "I got a little sick after yesterday's ra- 

You jumped a little when Zayne suddenly groaned, whipping his head up to look at you. “Oh my Lord,” he said, annoyed. “Can't you see I'm fucking tired? You do not know when you shut your damned mouth? I can't stand you! Why are you so clingy?” 

Your eyes widened and your face turned bright red. Your mind went blank and you didn't notice the tears streaming down your face until Zayne's face changed from complete anger to guilt. He looked at you from the door as if he didn't know what had happened just now. He didn't recognize himself. How did he dare to talk to you like that when you-

He gasped softly, “you're sick.”

You tried to clean your tears with your hands as you got up from the couch. Zayne made an attempt to come close to you, but you quickly ran to the bedroom only to come back after a couple of minutes with your shoes and coat on. 

“Excuse me,” you said, as you approached the door. 

“What? Where are you going like this? You need to rest.”

You nodded, trying to keep some distance from him. “I know. I'll rest back home. So please move.”

“Stay here. I'll take care of you,” he grabbed your hand and more tears fell down. How could he talk so sweetly right now after what he said. 

You shook your head, pulling your hand away and pushing him aside so you could open the door. “I don't need you, Zayne. Not when you can't stand me.”

“I was wrong, please.”

“I was wrong too. Goodbye, Zayne.”

XAVIER ⭐

“My poor Xavier,” you mumbled, gently cleaning a wound in Xavier's side. You winced when he did and your heart broke. You knew perfectly well that this could happen because of his line of work, but you felt terrible every time he came home hurt. “Oh, Xav, is it too painful?” You asked as you started to bandage him. 

He shook his head, breathing heavily and resting his head against the pillow on his bed. “It could be worse. Thank you for helping out.” 

“No need to thank me,” you said, smiling at him as you placed a tender and loving hand over his now bandaged wound. “I wish you didn't have to do this. It's so dangerous.” 

Your words had no poison. You clearly didn't want Xavier to suffer in any way. Why couldn't he have a regular, safe job? Maybe he's just strong because he has to protect everyone. You said those words from the bottom of your warm heart, so you were more than surprised to hear Xavier's response:

“What? Are you saying I'm weak?” He spat and you blinked. 

“N-No! I'm just saying that I wish you had another job because- 

“Is that so? So you rather have a bunch of wanderers attacking innocent people? Just because you don't want me to get hurt?” 

“It's- It's not like that! I never said that. I just get worried sick for you and-

“Maybe I should really stop, huh? Just turn a blind eye to everything that's happening like egoist people like you di.”

He just kept vomiting out words, one harsher than the last. Every time you tried to speak and fix this misunderstanding, his irrational words drowned out your voice and it made something heavy and nauseating settle in your stomach. This was not going to end well in any way. 

“Xavier, my love, please listen to me. I do not- 

“Maybe one day a wanderer will actually kill you. And believe me, I won't even bat an eye at you,” he said, crossing his arms and turning his head away from you. 

Your eyes had never filled with tears as quickly as that moment. Your body began to shake with suppressed sobs as you felt heat and disappointment throughout your body. Did Xavier just... wish for your death? And in the hands of a creature as horrible as a wanderer? 

“Oh no,” he suddenly said and you flinched when you felt his touch against your cheek. “I am so, so sorry.” You cried a little harder before getting up from his bed. “W-Wait, my star. Please, I'm sorry.”

No words came out. You simply grabbed your bag and left the room.

He called your name and then groaned in pain as he tried to move. “Pl-please, come back! Where-

You couldn't hear more of his words as you closed the door of his apartment. Did this mean the end? You truly thought so. 

Rafayel 🐠

"Ah, welcome back, Rafayel!" The amount of excitement that rushed through your body whenever your eyes landed on him was almost overwhelming. It wasn't that you hadn't seen him in a long time, but a second without him felt like a century. 

His eyes, usually warm and sparkling, looked cold and even angry at seeing you in his house. "Hello," he said dryly as he closed the door behind him. You frowned slightly. "What are you doing here?" 

"Hmm, nothing much. I just wanted to visit you. Is that alright?" 

He sighed, placing a paper bag on the table. "Yeah, sure. I gave you a key after all."

You cleared your throat, nodding awkwardly. "Did... you have a good day?" 

He sighed again and shook his head as he stepped out of his shoes. "I didn't. It was terrible for the very first moment I opened my eyes. You see," he started and you nodded, listening carefully. "I overslept so I lost precious time for my painting. Then I didn't have time to eat so I didn't eat anything but a piece of bread."

You immediately got up to make dinner for him, maybe after eating he'd feel better? 

"And the worst thing was," he said, collapsing onto his couch. "I couldn't find my emerald green paint so I had to go all the way to the art store and get a new one! Ugh!" 

You blinked, frowning a little. "Your emerald green?" 

"That's what I said."

"Hmm, I'm very sure I put it in all of your greens?" You left the ingredients aside as you walked to the paints. "Here it is." 

He got up and looked at you with an astonished expression. Confusion quickly turned into anger and he was yelling at you in a second. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"You saw me last night!" You explained, carefully leaving the paint back in place. "You said you wanted your paints to be more organized and I asked you if I could help you out! You even told me you liked how I organized it by colors!" 

Rafayel let out a frustrated sigh as a hand carded through his hair. "I can't believe I just lost all of that precious time because of your stupid mistake!"

"Excuse me?"

"Every time you try to help, you just mess things up! Can't you keep your little hands to yourself for once? I was just stupid for letting you help me out! You are way too much, I can't stand you sometimes.”

You were stunned. He had never said anything like that about you, you couldn't even remember other times when you wanted to help him and you ruined it. Besides, it wasn't your fault. The green paint was there all along and he just hadn't taken the time to look for it properly.

You knew it wasn't your fault, but his harsh words and the anger and hatred in his eyes were too much. Tears quickly filled your eyes and began to fall down your reddened cheeks. 

Rafayel realized his mistake a bit too late. Letting out a gasp as he watched the first tear fall, he hurriedly approached you, but you backed away, putting space between the two of you. He couldn't say anything, too surprised by his own words.

What was just a moment seemed like minutes, endless hours with deafening silence. Only your sobs echoed around the entire house, until your voice, small and trembling, made him jump. 

“I won't touch your stuff again, Rafayel,” you said softly, avoiding his eyes. 

“N-No, I didn't mean-

You nod, “if you don't mind, I'll sleep in your guest room. Goodnight, Rafayel.”

Deep inside you so desperately wanted him to stop you, but he watched you disappear into the hall and never called you back.

You knew it was going to be a very cold night.

[cy-lindric]

bonjour cy-lindric, j'ai une petite question. when I was a young person, I read The Three Musketeers and then eagerly started to read Twenty Years After and was so upset at what had happened to my beloved young heroes that I put the book down and never picked it up. what do you think, should I try again?

Bonjour !

After reading The Three Musketeers, I also wasn't sure I wanted to read Twenty Years After, and I took a break inbetween both to read something entirely different (The Locked Tomb, iirc). I think my reason for that was kind of the opposite of yours ; I enjoyed T3M a lot and loved the characters, flaws and all, but by the end they had somewhat crossed over the line into being Too Awful and the lack of retribution left me a bit frustrated. I didn't see it as a failing of the story - on the contrary, their strong character flaws and downfall in the conflict with Milady is one of the most emotionally intense and compelling parts imo - but I wasn't sure I felt like hanging out with these guys for a few hundred more pages at that point.

If your vision of the characters as a young reader was a very positive and perhaps idealized one, I can imagine why you might not have enjoyed entering into Twenty Years after. The illusion of glory has worn off ; the characters have separated, they live unremarkable lives, and their personalities have evolved drastically with the passing of time. It's almost a brutal return to reality.

For me though, it added layers of characterization to the point where now it's clear to me that this version of the Inseparables is by far the one I prefer.

I hope it's ok if I take the opportunity to talk at length about what I like about TYA below the cut. TL;DR : I love that Twenty Years After is a more realistic look at the big four's personalities and how they evolved while still keeping them thematically coherent, and that TYA makes them confront the reckless and cruel shit they did in their youth.

Spoilers ahead obviously.

We've often talked about how T3M is at its core a story about the end of knighthood. It's a tongue-in-cheek approach at chivalrous initiation, set at edge of the modern world, inbetween the time of ballads about knights in armor and that of adventures about journeying gunmen and soldiers. I think TYA embodies that particularly ; the story of people who have carried the last of these intense, dangerous chivalric ideals in their youths, and who have now grown into middle aged adults who need to find their place in the world.

For a good chunk of the book, the big four are separated into two teams ; that in of itself might discourage some, but imo it's genius. Instead of the natural two-by-pairings, Dumas goes for a d'Artagnan+ Porthos and Athos + Aramis split on opposite sides, which makes for good drama and develops lesser explored dynamics. D'Artagnan and Porthos form a scrappy team of opportunists with money on their minds, and Athos and Aramis a more idealistic duo fighting for a noble lost cause. I think it's a bold choice but also premium sequel writing.

I also love the way the young and wild characters we knew evolve into middle aged men ; at their core, they're still the same, but they've all changed and struggled against the sunset of the golden age in their own ways.

D'Artagnan, after knowing such adventures and subsequent rapid social ascension in his teenage years, has been met in his adult life with the harsh reality that he is, in fact, not a noble knight but a soldier on payroll. His modest origins give him little hope for any further career advancement, and he takes on a new mission in his early 40s for a man he has no devotion for and a cause he doesn't care about, simply because he is bored and broke. D'Artagnan still has his quick wits, his strategic talent, his fencing skills, but he has grown out of the excesses of pride of his teenage years. I loved meeting him again in TYA, and it made so much sense to me that his bouts of anger and aggressivity would be a youthful trait that he'd ended up taming. He also realizes now a lot of what seemed like funny adventures and necessary violence was actually kind of fucked up ; that was a shock to me, as their shenanigans are treated so lightly in T3M, and tbh it healed me a little. Grown up d'Artagnan is cunning, calculating, down to earth and realistic. My foxy little man. I love him.

Porthos, likewise, has been struck by the weight of reality. He has made the sensible choice and got married to the rich widow who sugar mommied him in the first book. Now she's passed, he is rich, but he still fails to earn the respect of the high society he evolves in because he's not high born enough. Like d'Artagnan, he's stagnating and bored and now that he goes back adventuring it has nothing to do with the queen or the kingdom or honour ; it's about getting his damn nobility title.

Athos, on the other hand, is the eternal knight : the only truly high born of the four, and still hopelessly holding on to a time gone by. It's no surprise imo that his storyline brings him into the english civil war, doomed to fail at saving a king who'll end up executed right in front of him. TYA acknowledges more clearly than ever that at 28 yo, Athos was a depressed alcoholic, and an embodiment of what an excess of aristocratic righteousness can do. In TYA, he is sober and moisturized and a DILF, and now he's running around frantically looking for absolution for his numerous crimes. It's delicious.

Aramis is maybe the hardest pill to swallow. TYA confirms the T3M hints that he isn't really the prim and proper romantic boy he acts like he is, and that he's possibly the most hypocritical and ruthless of the four. It might be a harsh one for Aramis fans who like him better as a cute bean, but I love the early onset of remorseless conniving bloodthirsty ambitious Aramis. Another harsh bit might be the evolution of Aramis and d'Artagnan not really liking each other ; they were always the least close combination, and imo it makes sense that their personalities would clash. I think it's clever and compelling conflict.

Now, obviously, if you've cared enough to read all this and if you know me a little, you know that a huge highlight of the book for me was its late-appearing antagonist, Mordaunt. Mordaunt is the son Milady had with her english husband. Because of the Musketeers' intervention, he's grown up in poverty and has been denied his father's inheritance. He's now a Roundhead working for Cromwell, and set on avenging his mother at all costs. Mordaunt, unlike his mother who was this beautiful and dangerous force of nature, is very uncool and pathetic. She was the primordial snake, he's the gutter rat. Obviously, I love that in and of itself, but it's also kind of striking image of the wretchedness of what they've done to her, a fucked up little goblin ghost come back to haunt them as they're trying to make their life worth living again. This time, their enemy is not a cunning political rival with a flamboyance of body and mind akin to their own ; it's a shitty little guy with bad skin who wants to kill the king and punish the murderers. Watch out babes, it's the modern world coming for you.

Of course, they're the Four Musketeers, and they did what they had to do, so they get together again and swear friendship and keep going their way. But they're also old guys with difficult personalities in a world that's never going to be the same. I think it's a cool book.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Aphrodite Headcanons: And She Took That Personal! (Greek Mythology)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am finally back with a new God/Mythology Video! This one is of Base Yandere Aphrodite from Greek Mythology!!! Please enjoy this!]

(DISCLAIMER: This is Based on Aphrodite from Myth, she most likely is not Yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine. Just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Aphrodite, From Greek Mythology-

.Aphrodite is the Goddess of Sexual beauty. 

.There is not a man she cannot get, there are also a lot of women she cannot get. 

.She can easily invoke lust and desire. 

.Then there is you, the second human to steal her heat. 

.You are different from the human man that she fell in love with all those years ago. 

.You are a stunning creature beyond words! She needs to have you as hers and hers alone. 

.She is beyond smitten with you and knows that you and she will have fruitful children, may you be a uterus owner she will get the best godly sperm for you. If you are in the possession of balls she will bear your seed. 

.Either way, you and her will have godly offspring. 

.She is also going to do what it takes to woo you. 

.Very romantic outings with you, where she makes her desires for you very VERY clear. 

.She of course knows you will want her, I mean come on she is the goddess of beauty, sexual love, pleasure, and fertility what more could you want? 

.She like many other gods, is obsessive and possessive. 

.She would not want to share you at all! 

. Especially with no mortal. 

.And with Aphrodite if you were with a mortal woman? She would take that as a personal insult. 

.She is the Goddess of love and beauty and pleasure. What could some mortal woman give you that she cannot? 

.She is also one of your more vain and jealous goddesses. This is one of the biggest reasons that the whole Trojan War was started. 

.So she would take you being with someone other than her, male or female, but especially female as the biggest insult. 

.But do not worry you are her sweet little pet, she would never take this anger out on you! 

.Your lover though? Well remember all the things the Greek gods have done to women and men but mainly women (Yeah she is going to make your lovers suffer beyond words) 

.Turning them into horrific things and maybe even getting animals involved. 

.She does not care she is not sharing with any rivals, she is your Goddess and you will be hers and ONLY HERS. 

.She is particularly aggressive, petty, and vengeful with her female rivals, making them suffer the biggest humiliation and pain! 

.She has to shatter them. 

.She would confess to you after probably killing her rivals taking you close and kissing you. 

.If you kiss back and accept her love well you will be made into some immortal and will stay by her side for the rest of time. 

.If you turn her down? She will have to kidnap you and punish you, you should not be better than to turn down a literal Goddess, especially when that Goddess has given you her heart! 

.Do not worry she will break that spirit of yours and teach you that she is all that you need and that you will be much happier with her. 

.Whether you wanted it or not! 

.She would also use sex as a way to tame you, manipulating her skills in the bedroom. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[iatnen]

daniel and sebastian defo the type of couple to explosively break up at breakfast and be making out sloppy style at dinner, people ask ominis whose side he takes when they argue and he threatens to avada himself

Exactly

I’ve let my inbox pile up for long enough I NEED TO GET TO THEM NOW SO HERE I GO

Oooof I had a hard time with this one….. I was stuck between pride and greed. I mean if you push Daniel’s character to the veerrryyy extreme he’d be a success hungry guy who craves recognition and validation 😅 And Daniel’s main flaw would be his short temper LOL

Doesn’t like being seen as less than > goes out of his way to be the best > gets mad when he doesn’t reach his own expectations/what he thinks other people’s expectations are + insecurity of his own abilities = anger issues…… does that make sense 🤔😰 hopefully HAHAHA

What makes Daniel laugh? Sebastian 😙 NAAAHHHH but fr pretty much just anything that makes the average teenage boy laugh….. like skibidi toilet (ironically) 😸 Sarcasm, irony, anything that’s funny bc of how unfunny it is, I think that describes Daniel’s humor in a few words

For his laugh… hmmm

Well first he’s not the type of guy to really laugh out loud or cackle, when something is funny it’s usually more like one of those short little exhale laughs yk ??? But I mean if he’s really going to LOL he would be sorta airy, breathy, starts with a wheeze kinda laugh that just goes silent and then broken by a sudden gasp for breath YK??? Likeee I suck so bad at explaining but those out of breath laughs is what I’m imagining

Ominis is both of their friends but it’s a little complicated 😅 ofc Ominis would be conflicted cuz of the dark arts stuff yk still he doesn’t hate either of them. Daniel and Ominis had a very rocky start, in the end they respect each other on their own choices and views. Ominis separates Daniel from Sebastian’s actions, so he isn’t angry at him for whatever happened with the relic and Solomon etc. (even if he lowkey enabled Sebastian 😰)

I like to think that Omini would take on the role of the “responsible one” in the group when they’re together, while Sebastian is the one coming up with the crazy ideas and Daniel is like “ok!!!”. He’s still closer to Sebastian than to Daniel just bc of how long they’ve known each other but yah they’re all good friends and hang out yay !!! 😙

HI ANON ! TYSMMMM it’s so shocking to read that people like Daniel too…. Like THAT’S MY OC GUYS !!! 😦 WHAAATTT !!!??!!

I’m truly motivated by such messages when I get them 😿😿😿 I know I don’t answer every single one like this but I NEVER DELETE THEM !!! I keep them in my inboxes and read them whenever I need a little push to draw so THANK YOU ALL

HAHAHA well I hope you’re being careful when opening my posts at school….. some of them are uhhh 😳

I honestly had no idea what OTP meant for the longest time, I just saw it everywhere BUT YAY THAT’S SO EPIC YET STRANGE TO HEAR LIKE…. I CAN’T BELIEVE PPL LOVE THE QUIDDITCH BROS ???!! (I think I’m just gonna call them that now)

And finally thank you to these two for the sunflowers 🙏 I was surprised to even get one THANK YOU 🌻🌻

[autistichalsin]

Some of my favorite voice lines (either because of the lines themselves or because of Dave's delivery) from this collection of every line Halsin had in the game (and some he technically didn't because they weren't Halsin lines at all, but lines other characters have that they had Dave record for some reason):

5:07 "Fancy a b-oink? Indeed, you'll be hard-pressed to find a joke I haven't."

8:26 "I am Halsin. First Druid of the Emerald Grove. And I am here to VISIT NATURE'S FURY UPON YOU!" (From his revenge scene if the grove is raided- just, brilliant acting, gives me the chills every time. Give Dave an award please)

10:10 "Karlach. I am glad you can enjoy the touch of another once again. And I hope you are afforded much more time than you've been told. A lifetime and more, if I have a say in it."

17:33 "Lae'zel could not have wished for a finer companion by her side. You truly love her, I can tell. Just... keep each other safe, please."

25:05 (Tav or Durge line) "Yeah, she's not coming back."

27:44 "Shadowheart. These truths that have been revealed to you... I know they must be painful. But Oak Father as my witness, I know you are strong enough to bear them. You need not walk this path alone."

34:08 "I am sorry, Gale. You tried. Mystra was wrong to turn on you, no matter what mistakes you made in the past."

35:57 "Time can prove to be a trickster on one's recollections. What would be multiple lifetimes for others now separate me from my captivity. Perhaps I have lost perspective on what happened to me."

39:06 "Re-education. As if this sect has not mangled poor Shadowheart's mind enough already."

41:59 "I need you!"

47:08 (Shadowheart line) "Let's see what comfort we can offer a grieving mother."

47:57 "You have carried this burden for too long already. I simply do not believe that ceremorphosis is the only course left to you! Orpheus must help us." (He is so protective of the player 😭 )

52:03 "We need to be gone from here- now!"

53:10 (Tav/Dark urge line) "In my name." (Amazing acting for that line, makes me wish SO BAD we could have Origin Halsin)

1:04:13 "A mindflayer?! What foul trickery is this?"

1:04:20 "I am no stranger to the Underdark. Cruelty comes to Lolth's followers as naturally as breathing. I have seen it- experienced it." (You can tell he still holds so much grief and anger over what happened to him in the Underdark.)

1:04:32 "Do not yield, Karlach. The world has need for you yet. I have need for you yet. Please." (The way his voice breaks here just wrecks me.)

1:10:13 "Let our enemies' corpses nourish the ground!"

1:13:20 "Gale, what's troubling you? We're nearly at the end, I know it."

1:14:52 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "That's what was in there? Those little shits."

1:21:26 "You have upended nature's balance. Only your death can restore it!" (From the Halsin revenge scene.)

1:24:31 "Last Light fell because you could not control the violence in your heart. All those people perished because of what you did to Isobel. You must try harder. You must be better."

1:24:26 "There must be no more Yennas."

1:25:39 "No, it's wooden. Um. I suppose it burns if you find yourself in dire need of kindling, but I hope it does not come to that." (Referring to his whittled duck)

1:35:12 (Karlach line) "Rest in peace, Astarion. You may have been a bloodthirsty murderer, but I liked you all the same."

1:37:03 "Death is nature's final slumber. It awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair. Not while there are folks in need of your help."

1:40:57 "Do not yield, Karlach. Stay with us. Stay with the ones who love you." (Just breaks my heart. 😭 )

1:43:28 "You deserve so much better, but alas... I understand. Do as you must."

1:57:27 "You seem to be mumbling to yourself- aren't I enough company for you?" (To Shadowheart)

2:08:57 "GLORY?! There's no glory here! Now there's nothing here. Only shadows, and the total absence of hope!"

2:09:37 "I see. Well. Perhaps not all friendships are destined to be balanced and reciprocal. But I remain eternally grateful for having met you, all the same. Rest well."

2:13:27 "We are. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor, the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time."

2:16:26 "You worship Shar?! That umbral witch unleashed a plague of darkness on nature! Her followers slew many of my fellow Druids!" (So much pain and anger here.)

2:20:41 "It wasn't just power this needed! It was wisdom, understanding! I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse! And it seems I will continue to do so."

2:21:46 Maniacal laughter (I can only imagine this happens if you get hit with Tasha's Hideous Laughter, and this one was incredible in that it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMFAO I was so creeped out. HUGE props to Dave Jones for that one.)

2:26:15 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name."

2:33:13 "Poor creature! Locked in a cage, denied her true nature. Civilization would cause her a monstrosity, yet it treats her like this?!"

2:34:54 "What are you doing?! No!"

2:39:01 "Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling! The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely! They shall appreciate your story, trust me."

2:40:20 "The Rite of Thorns? No..."

2:42:09 "I was not here to guide them. Now they rest forever, while I carry the weight of my failings."

2:52:35 "Nature cares little for nobility- it is pure artifice. But I can still hold some respect for Wyll's accomplishment. He shall be a fine duke, I am sure."

2:53:50 "Please. Don't sully the gratitude I feel towards you by making excuses for Kagha. My choice was clear."

2:56:01 (Orin-as-Halsin) "Please, wait. I did not want this. I could not stop it."

3:19:56 "Hmm. Perhaps I can substitute the bloodlust and, well, general lust for cuddles and animals in the retelling. The children will be confused, but no matter- they will soon be asleep."

3:23:38 "I am glad to have Gale back with us. The group would be poorer without his insights- and his company."

3:27:00 "That was no killing blow- far from it. What happened?"

3:27:49 "Silvanus guard us- what have you done?!"

3:29:58 "If this is what you truly want, I shall respect your wishes. But know that you shall not die, not truly. Nature's realm shall be yours- in the air, the trees, the waters."

3:32:27 "Don't do this! Your life!" (When a mind flayer character commits suicide in the ending)

3:34:47 Pained groaning (IDK it just sounded so damn real here, I could just imagine Halsin with a giant gaping wound or something here)

3:38:53 "The machine! It's going to blow!"

3:41:12 "Come on, you useless turnip!"

3:46:43 "You can still save yourself, Karlach. You can return to Avernus- it need not be forever. Just long enough to give yourself a chance..." (His voice sounds so small and pleading here 😭 )

3:48:12 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name." (Just a really good delivery)

3:48:54 "But... friendship is no consolation trophy. I cherish the bond we have forged. Whether it should grow into something else is... not for me to predict."

3:49:20 "Vampire spawn assailing us in the night? I thought we had ample troubles as it was. At least you are safe, Astarion."

3:51:00 "I was never afforded a chance to start a family of my own- serving nature always had to come first."

3:51:07 "You thought she was an imposter- a threat. This was a trap of Orin's creation. Yenna's death is on her hands, not yours."

3:51:22 "Your rage is most impressive, Karlach. If the lesson is not to provoke your temper, consider it well-learned."

3:59:04 "Ha! I suppose I did, didn't I? I was so focused on helping Thaniel that my sense of decorum was neglected."

4:06:02 "Truly? I thought you felt the same way as me. There was a connection, I-I was sure!" (Oh my god he sounds like he's fucking CRYING here and this legitimately made me whimper out loud and hide my face. I have NEVER needed to hug a character THIS BADLY before oh my god give Dave Jones all of the awards please)

4:17:03 "Oak Father, what did I do to deserve such allies?!"

4:18:03 "This... orb. Gale carries a most dire burden. I wish he had shared it with us sooner."

4:18:58 "Time for blood!" (In bear form)

4:19:31 "Karlach has had her mortality defined to her in most cruel terms. I do not know if we can help her, but perhaps we can at least be there for her."

4:23:19 "FINE!" (He just sounds so done lmfao)

4:23:20 "And yet, she fears there are none to inherit her work, so she goes on. Long life can be a burden at times- I know that well."

4:24:45 "You shall live on. And wherever I go, I shall feel your presence, and you mine." (To Origin Karlach in the ending- this whole scene would be really beautiful if they would just fix a few things)

4:27:55 "Your power is buoyed by a sea of innocent blood! I hope you are pleased."

4:28:26 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "In my name." (Gave me chills)

4:30:59 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "What in the hells, Astarion?! You bit me!"

4:32:39 "Remember, whatever evil is trying to control you, I know you are stronger. Resist."

4:35:08 Pained groaning and cries (They just sounded so real and painful)

4:37:11 "Dominate the brain! Do it now, or all is lost!"

4:47:46 "I will not go on without you!"

4:49:18 "Perhaps try attacking the enemy!" (He sounds so done lmfao)

4:49:25 "That contraption looks set to kill you, not save you! Get clear of it at once!"

4:50:27 "A cruel blow. Astarion loved feeling the caress of the sun, only now it gouges him with its claws. Perhaps we shall meet again, beneath the shield of darkness."

4:53:23 Maniacal laughter (Truly terrifying just like the other one)

4:58:49 (Yenna line [yes really]) "Where am I? I don't like this dream!"

4:59:04 "Nature bows to none. It will fight on and survive, no matter what madness your god has inspired you to undertake."

5:03:51 "Stuck, eh? Straight out of bawdy literature."

5:09:57 "Killing Orin won't bring Yenna back, but it may give her some peace, and me... a great deal of satisfaction."

5:11:26 "No! Have you taken leave of your senses?!"

5:15:27 "This may keep the city safe, but to seal all those unfortunates away forever? Death would have been more merciful."

5:16:44 "Stay your hand, Astarion! To sacrifice so many is a tyrant's ambition!"

5:16:52 "I... cannot imagine how you are feeling, Gale. For a goddess to ask a mortal to pay such a price... I am sorry for... for your burden."

5:19:44 "Immortal... and angered. What have I done...?"

5:20:43 "The power of the bear lies within me!"

5:22:47 "In that case, nothing more needs to be said. Farewell." (Said if a player who has low approval with Halsin at the epilogue party says they have no interest in taking the olive branch Halsin extended; I like this one because he sounds like a strange combination of sad and relieved at the same time, which is such a realistic combination of feelings!)

5:26:14 "Slain and stuffed. I would like to do the same to whoever's handiwork this is." (About a taxidermy baby bear)

5:26:19 "My heart grows heavy for Karlach. She can touch once more, yet is her remaining time to truly be so short? I shall pray to Silvanus that it does not come to pass."

5:32:10 "I... cannot imagine how you are feeling, Gale. For a goddess to ask a mortal to pay such a price... I am sorry for... for your burden. Though I wish you had told us of your predicament before."

5:36:33 (Orin-as-Halsin) "I lost control. I felt the bear take over, blood-crazed. And she forced me into a cage, along with... *sobs* with children, taken from the streets." (I think this one is a slightly different version than what ended up used? The sobbing is definitely more prominent if nothing else.)

5:39:28 "I hoped my friends would save me..." (Dave manages to make Halsin's body sound dead-corpse-emotionless and yet sad at the same time.)

5:39:45 "I hoped my loved would save me..." (Same as above)

5:41:08 "Your gold and your loins. Not for me to dictate what you do with either."

5:41:20 "You were not even born when Shar's followers slew my fellow Druids, or when her shadow curse tainted the land. I can get past those... but I truly wish you had trusted me sooner."

5:52:36 "No matter how long I live, I will never get used to the cruelty that infests our world. That such evil is allowed to breathe the same air as us is an abomination."

5:57:33 (Tav/Durge line) "In my name."

6:02:56 "Of course... somehow I'd hoped for a miracle, but of course... the only miracles are those we make ourselves." (He's talking about Karlach/her engine here)

6:03:57 "I was all too eager to surrender my responsibilities towards the Grove, and now it has been sealed away from the world! Perhaps I was never meant to be Archdruid... to be a leader."

6:08:29 "NO! Cease now, before you doom us all!"

6:09:22 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name."

6:20:05 "I shall endeavor to be more tactful when trying to make friends in future."

6:22:06 "You are afraid because you are alive, and you have something to lose. Hold onto that."

6:26:58 "You will not desecrate this grove! Not while I draw breath!"

6:33:00 "This need not be a parting, so long as you fight on. You and I can each roam apart, until nature compels our paths to cross once again."

6:41:42 "I shall miss him, though I hope he proves to be a kindly god. I've had my fill of the tyrannical sort."

6:42:29 "Do as you must, as shall I. We shall meet again. It is as sure as the break of dawn, or the spring thaw."

6:44:49 "And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps."

6:45:47 "Stay with me, my love."

6:50:36 "Do not falter, I am here!"

6:51:15 "Karlach. I am sorry. I shall not try to soothe you with gilded words, but... know that I am here for you."

[dystopianmoon]

LDS ML SONG ANALYSIS | IN DEPTH MINI PLAYLIST

I’ll be frank that I haven’t quite yet played LDS. However my friend is absolutely in love with the game. Curiously I invested in learning what’s so enthralling about it. And I can admit I get the appeal now. If there’s one thing I love more than character design and story depth it’s music. After a month of investigating I compiled some really interesting songs from my personal collection I feel suit the male leads. I analyzed all of their lore, the important details, interactions with MC, and yes even the spicy cards to determine which songs lyrically and spiritually worked! Please enjoy if you will. It’ll be lengthy.

Note; I listen to a lot of indie, shoegaze, alt indie, and post punk. this is based on my own taste!

.·:*¨༺ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎 ༻¨*:·.

➺ RAFAYEL

• Oceans ꨄ︎ Seafret

A deep song about distance between two lovers. I felt this ties into the part of them being separated through MC being human and him Lemurian. Bonded for their lives though so different, and even trying to get a magic potion in one life to be with her as a human himself. Very romantic honestly. I love his devotion to be beside her no matter the risk. The line “you know I’d rather drown than to go on without you” is so heavy. this song conveys having to hide their emotions, being separated, and that overwhelming feeling of wanting. Because being apart is so painful.

• Bathed In Grey ꨄ︎ Them & I

This song leaves a pulsing feeling within of appreciation and praises of the women’s existence in his life. I love the specific line “and her beacon, cements my place” considering he teaches her how to use a Lemurian Beacon. and then the lines “you taught me how to wade, this monochrome sea, that swallows me” I think it really gives you a vision of him alone without her in his space yet thankful of her existence in his life. I think MC really balances Rafayel and his vengeance against humans (obviously for destroying his people) later on in their connection.

• Words ꨄ︎ Gregory Alan Isakov

A very slow and steady song. It evokes a sort of jealousy within me of how in love he is with his partner. Writing her a lovely letter and asking her “did you ever notice the way light means more than it ever did all day long?” it’s just such a beautifully simple question really. Something I could see him asking. Another line I personally favor is “and I wish I could leave my bones and skin, and float over the tired tired sea so that I could see you again”

• Need It ꨄ︎ Half Moon Run

!! With Raf I imagine he’s a very intimate partner but still so artistic. I can’t imagine him having some exotic and nasty playlist, but something quite slow. He would dance with his partner humming against their forehead. Kissing them tenderly while drawing invisible sigils of his affections over every inch of skin. Whispering like a poet how grateful he is to be beside you, to be one with you. Even in your intimate endeavors he would cradle you gently but with obvious haste in his actions. I think his eyes would be most intense in these times. This song is simply so lovely down to the guitar and steady pacing of drums. The whole thing is quotable.

• Darkness ꨄ︎ Sweet Spine

So this song is more for the angst. I imagine a version of him where if he was suffering without MC and in a state of maybe anger, frustration, longing, and anxiety while painting he’d listen to this song. I love the lyrics “you tame the darkness, you beg the goddess” and “I can hardly breathe, I can hardly sleep without you, talking in my dreams” I think Rafayel would suffer so harshly. Every artist needs his muse, without it they become lost.

➺ XAVIER

• Moondust ꨄ︎ James Young

Where do I even start with this cause the lyrics just EMBODY this man. The lyrics “I’m building this house on the moon, like a lost astronaut, looking at you like a star, from the place the world forgot, and there’s nothing I can do” as an opener just tore me right open. Considering how he is the crowned prince of Philos, but it as a planet needing to sacrifice MC to keep it alive. Truly there is nothing he could do. Even though she reincarnates it’s just so sad. I love the recent reveal of him willing to sacrifice himself as well. A beautiful touch for his character.

• Monsoon ꨄ︎ Hippo Campus

This song is said by the writers to be about the death of a family member (for this instance it’s romantic), and the surprising lack of grief that was replaced by joy of the life that had been lived. Monsoons are seasonal change in the direction of the prevailing, or strongest, winds of a region. Monsoons can be of heavy rains too. Which I think is a lovely way of describing that “grief” I imagine Xavier definitely parted from MC with prevailing hope of reuniting again and knowing he would wait endlessly for her. The lyric “it should have been me” I interpret it also coming from his prospective of wanting to be the sacrifice instead.

• Yellow Love ꨄ︎ Citizen

This song is lovely down to every word. It conveys a powerful and passionate love, expressed through the symbolism of the color yellow. It explores themes of longing, transformative nature of love, and commitment. I love the lyric, “all I feel is celestial desire, a distant joy is dancing all around me” Xavier seems the type to heavily miss MC to his core, aching without her. Like a lost puppy he would wait for her return. That’s his partner through it all. Half of his whole.

• Too Good ꨄ︎ Troye Sivan

!! NASTY. FREAKY. SOUL SNATCHING. I am unfortunately unable to see this man as anything other than a straight up divine worshiper and freak for MC sexually. yeah…yeah I saw his cards. The way my jaw dropped from the audacity. This song needs no explanation it’s all in the lyrics. I mean if your skin wasn’t blazing alone from the song just pair it with his cards and you’ve got a levitating combination.

• Is It Really You ꨄ︎ Loathe

I can’t describe how much I just LOVE this song. When I heard it recently I thought this is perfect for him! For Xavier’s angst I imagine him laying somewhere in a field or rooftop allowing himself to drift. And as the song says, “let’s search the sky for a while, you and I, collide like two stars for a while” I think maybe he’d sing it with a bitterly sweet smile towards the sky imagining MC listening to him. maybe even when she’s near he’s humming it like a lullaby.

➺ SYLUS

• NFWMB ꨄ︎ Hozier

So given the lore of Sylus being a dragon being revealed I feel this song suited him so well. It opens with “when I first saw you the end was soon” to which I can recall the scene of them in his cave. Entangled together as she is tasked to end him but he questions her quite intimately I’d say with their proximity. Later on the two reunite as he is the leader of the N109 zone and her apart of the association. I like to imagine him saying the lines “give your heart and soul to charity (the association), cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey belongs to me” as well as “nothing fucks with my baby, nothing can get a look in on my baby” when her life is put into question. Though she could be a threat Sylus seems to allow her curiosity, protection, and connection. I find his subtle enthrallment of her adorable. live for him calling her SWEETIE right off the bat. Essentially MC really is his.

• Truly ꨄ︎ Cigarettes After Sex

This song is slowly paced though it has more promiscuous undertones I would reimagine it more so as Sylus reminding MC he is okay with anything with her, and not even afraid to go there. I see them with this untouchable bubble of possession, curiosity, desire, and attachment to each other. The chemistry always heavy and heart knocking. Something about their air truly is unmistakable and this song throws that out from the prospective of the male. I love the line “said you wear a new perfume for each city that you visit, so that you can remember how it felt to be there, and your lips are red and all the pictures that you send wearing white and black” it makes me think of when MC attends the gathering for the protocore business. How she was slightly nervous at first. But also how Sylus would likely pay attention to the little details. Like her lipstick that night or the outfit for the association (black and white) he’d see in her photos.

• The Yawning Grave ꨄ︎ Lord Huron

This is Sylus perfectly placed into a song. From his prospective he would be gloating himself up. The power from within but also around him. It perfectly describes how he would go about warning others that he is not to be trifled with. It’s truly worth every second. My favorite line being “Oh you fool there are rules, I am coming for you, you can run but you cannot escape, darkness brings evil things oh the reckoning begins, you will open the yawning grave” I see this as him warning if provoked he will bring them death without hesitation or remorse. No wonder they are so fearful of him!

• So Damn Into You ꨄ︎ Vlad Holiday

!! Oh my, another one! Listen I had the most fun with his spicy cards. I was frankly blushing and this song rushed to my head. “I was fading into dust, then you grabbed me with your madness, and you woke me up” likely taken in context of the past and present. For me I envision him sensual in all his ways even if not meaning it. However it’s never a bad thing to him when MC is nervous, blushing, and avoiding his eye contact. I think he’d find that intimidation so pleasing. Even better when she’s willing to challenge that energy without fever. I think Sylus would embody that very dominant and commanding lover, but never shy to worship her through every step. Coaxing MC into letting herself slip into him fully. The closing lines of, “it started with a bang, don’t know how you got me so messed up, but baby I won’t ever get enough, cause I’m so damn into you” would be something that really describe their dynamic.

• Entombed ꨄ︎ Deftones

So many angst songs could be used. However- this song is perfect start to finish. This song is quite literally about being undeniably BOUND to someone/something and in love. Several jumps in the lyrics embody their tale of being tied to one another. To start, “from the day you arrived, I’ve remained by your side, in chains” I’d say this is perfect of describing their encounter as a dragon when we circles her with his tail like a chain. And when she entered the N109 the first time how the Evol triggers to their wrists leaving her helplessly his. Next, “on the day you arrived, I became your device, to name and soothe” this id say sums up how MC can call upon him any time, literally hers whenever she is in need of him. But also naming him as the leader of the N109 was a major discovery for her. Lastly for the closing “from the day you arrived, I have stayed by your side, placed inside, safe and sound” I love the way Chino sings this with his chest. I imagine Sylus and his emotions for MC being heavy while watching over her endlessly for her safety and peace. Being apart from you would be a constant nagging reminder for him that he’s unable to itch without you there.

➺ ZAYNE

• Alone With Me ꨄ︎ Vance Joy

So obviously I read up on how these two had been childhood friends. As well as anecdote 2 Zayne who is different, dreaming of them. And I absolutely love the emotions Zayne has for MC, though he seems to hold himself reserved. I imagine he thinks endlessly on his praise for MC. Holding her so tenderly as the thing that pushes him, that he needs, that he can pour himself into. Specifically the lyrics “oh you’re the shape of my days, you’re my holy place, and I know everything’s good, everything’s just as it should be when you’re alone with me” when Zayne really speaks upon his feelings I feel like he’d be a bit shy even though assertive. However admitting to both himself and MC “here we are, I’m doing these things with you I never thought we’d do” and that’s just so beautiful to me.

• Snow ꨄ︎ Jome

I hold this song dear, and it just clicks for Zayne. this song really pulls at your strings as the male sings of his longing of what could have been if he had stayed in the same city. Wishing he never left her and imagining her goodbye. Admitting she has a piece of him and always sees her. I love the lyric “I didn’t mean to let you go, i still see you in the snow” obviously I noticed Zayne being called forseer and having that power regarding snow/ice. I’d like to think he would construct images of MC in his palm as he did for her with the snow seal! This song pictures that worry of separation between two lovers. It’s good.

• You & I ꨄ︎ Rhodes

This one is powerful and truthfully I cry to this one here and there. This song is about yearning for a past love. And like the other boys I feel like Zayne probably steps into this the heaviest. Consider the connection I read for them I truly felt my heart tug in sadness for them. This song is perfect, with the lines, “is it still you and I forever? Whether you like it or you don’t, sometimes we live alone, if we can find a little hope, we can make it on our own” and that just stabs you good in the feels. I’ll let you listen to the rest yourself.

• Paradise ꨄ︎ Henry Morris

!! I don’t have much I could say, but damn. Zayne is that perfect balance of patient yet so intense. Yes I would want a paradise with him. His spice cards leaves you craving more each time. That feeling of wanting to be pulled in became overwhelming: this song captures that. I love his gentle touches and praises of recognition. How he’s concerned if she’s slept, if she’s eaten, has she been hurt? The urgency always in his eyes and voice. It really makes your brain wonder. I love love the lyric, “help me cure your sickness,I’m the last one left if you need a witness, on your bedside stand, I’m a big commitment, are you sure you’re alright?” cause it makes me remind myself he’s a doctor and really can hold you down in the heat of it all and then be there till the end if you let him. Gently of course.

• Avalon ꨄ︎ Zeruel

So for Zayne it’s hard for me to place his angst. Cause I do see him as if he’d push through but in those moments of intensive disassociation maybe he’d let himself wonder to your memories. And replay it while questioning him and you. Could he change it all? Why did it have to be that way? Would you always be there? Sighing into his hands frustratedly. I think the lyrics, “is this love I don’t know, could you entrust me your soul, as we fight fire with sound I ask, could you stay for a while” perfect. His character is hard to decipher feelings wise and I assume he has that inner battle but in the end- he does love MC.

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ ⋙

I actually might considering playing this game after discovering so much about them. Personally Rafayel and Zayne really got me hooked. I’m Sapphic so this discovery of interest was EXTREMELY eye opening to my flavor. Let me know who you personally enjoy in the game!

[gffa]

*slams The Glass Abyss down on the table* OKAY, I HAVE FINISHED IT AND I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY.

In a lot of ways, this was a complicated read for me and I think the best way to describe my feelings on the author's take on Mace is that we diverge at the fork in the road that is, "Who is Mace Windu without his internal balance/his connection to the Force?" but that, as we walk along separate paths, I can still see the author clearly from where his path takes him and where my path takes mine. Like walking on separate sides of the street, still in view, just not perfectly aligned.

Further, I think my biggest criticism of the book is one I have to give a caveat of my caveat to, where I very much felt the absence of the Force in this book and as a presence in Mace's life. That, as he's being unbalanced and has trouble reaching the Force, it's not a bigger deal. That there's very little sense of spirituality connected to Mace's connection with the Force.

But the caveat about this is--that's kind of necessary for the story that the author is telling, because I think this is a book about Mace walking alongside the road of another life that he could have had, that he finds a connection with the people and romance (which I think is furthered by how thin the romance felt because it was serving a point about Mace's life more than it was a fully-fledged romance, in my opinion) and family--and that that life is valuable, that that life has love and warmth and connection and righteousness.

And that Mace Windu still chooses the Jedi.

That he would not be anywhere near as complete a person as he is without the path of the Jedi.

I think ultimately the point of the book is to give Mace that other path so that he can realize, yes, he did choose the Jedi, yes, the Jedi were loving and fair with him, yes, the Jedi are his family, yes, being a Jedi is what fulfills him even when there are other options. That those other paths are valid and yet the Jedi is the path for him.

There are things I would quibble with in the writing (primarily that I think there has been more joy in Mace's life than the author writes), but beyond that I think this book is incredibly thoughtful towards what I really needed it to be--that, while it may not mean the same thing in a galaxy far, far away, we're still reading it from our society and Mace Windu is a Black man and that comes with a lot of underlying context, especially when it comes to his anger.

This book felt to me like it was always aware of that, that the author (probably as a Black man himself) didn't shy away from that there was a riot of feelings in this character, that he felt protective anger and was a lethal warrior, while also being stern of face much of the time, things which are often demonized in this character, but here it was always in service of how that gave Mace depth and made him both a worthy central character and a good man. Mace cared deeply and part of that care was his anger that he turned towards Vaapad (which has been recanonized now!) in a way I ultimately found very fitting on a grand scale.

I was nervous going into this book, because Mace is a character that I'm so invested in and feel protective towards because of the shit that gets flung at him, and I feel like this book and I were at the very least in the same chapter and often even on the same page together with regards to him. I always felt that this book loved Mace as a character even if I might disagree on some particulars, and let me tell you that was a joy to read.

There are so many moments in this book that were an absolute joy to read (there are two different scenes between Mace & Anakin that sent me over the moon), so much of Mace's value of the Jedi and his path as a Jedi are at the heart of the book--even when it might not seem like it, ultimately the point is that, yes, Jedi can and do question their path, because they want their people to be certain this is the right one for them. This is a book about separating Mace out from that path, both physically and psychically, and having him rebalance himself and recognize that being a Jedi just is who he is and who he chooses to be, every day.

I can only give my view of this book and I will admit to stumbling a time or two with it, but by the end of it, I felt it was incredibly supportive of Mace as a character, that it was very Jedi-positive (even when it might not seem like it, it's usually going somewhere with the structure, somewhere I was vindicated by), and that the author wrote some absolutely banger lines that I'm going to be screaming about in a liveblog and that the worldbuilding was so good, I wish the author had had more space for building Jedi stuff.

It's an absolutely wild ride of a story (the action was really good and the harshness of the fighting added a necessary edge to the story that I thought worked really well for what the author was building with Mace's character), the story sailed right along smoothly, and I'm satisfied with what we got of it, I would definitely recommend to Mace fans and even Jedi fans. A few caveats about how I would let the story play out if you get wary in the middle, that it's not perfect, but that it's good and it loves Mace Windu as much as we do.

[winchesterwild78]

Unexpected Twist

Characters: Jensen x Reader (wife)

Warnings: injury, language, mention of pregnancy, morning sickness, anger, hurt, fluff

A/N: A quick story idea from @cheekygirl2309. Jensen and reader are married, he’s away filming and gets injured. Reader takes care of him despite his protests, and her unexpected pregnancy. This does not depict real life and is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or his family.

All work is your own, do not take it or copy it.

Minors DNI 18+

The soft hum of the plane filled the cabin as you drifted off to sleep. You were on your way to surprise Jensen, your husband, who was currently filming his latest project in Canada. This was your first extended separation since you’d married, and you missed him terribly. But you were also excited to see him and to share a secret you'd been keeping: you were pregnant with your first child.

As the plane descended, you couldn't contain your excitement. you imagined the look on Jensen's face when you walked through the door of our rented house. It would be a surprise he'd never forget.

When you walked in the house you were met by silence. You sent Jensen a text to see if he was filming or on his way home.

You: Hey babe. Just wanted to say hello and I miss you.

Jensen: Hey sweetheart, I miss you too. I’m still on set. I’m thinking maybe a few more hours. When I get home I’ll FaceTime you. I can’t wait to see your beautiful face.

You: Okay babe. Have fun and I love you. I can’t wait to see you too.

Jensen: I love you too, Y/N. So much.

You set your phone down and started to unpack. You’d packed for a week, taking off time from work to be there. When you married Jensen, it was important to you to keep working. You loved your job and you wanted to contribute to the household. Jensen was supportive, but you knew deep down he wanted you to quit, mainly so you could travel with him.

After unpacking, fixing something to eat, you took a shower and put on some comfy clothes. Your body was exhausted from traveling, and early pregnancy. As you climbed in the bed to rest, you placed your hand on your belly and rubbed softly. You smiled and drifted off to sleep thinking about the growing baby in your belly, and what the future will look like once they are born.

Unfortunately, your sleep was shattered early the next morning. Your phone rang, jolting you awake. It was a local hospital. Jensen had been in an accident on set and was injured. He had broken his ankle. Your heart sank.

You quickly gathered your things and rushed to the hospital. When you arrived, you found Jensen in a cast, his face a mix of pain and surprise. He was relieved to see you, but you could tell he was upset.

“Babe, what are you doing here?” Jensen asked from his hospital bed. You dropped your bag and ran to his side, throwing your arms around him. “I came in to surprise you, I was at the house asleep and the hospital called me. Jensen, what happened?”

Jensen’s jaw tightened, “It was a stupid fucking accident. I landed wrong, fell backwards and broke my damn ankle in two places.” “Oh Jensen, I’m so sorry.” Tears fell from your eyes. You kissed his lips and he wiped your tears away. “Shhh it’s okay baby. I’m okay.”

The doctor explained that Jensen would need round-the-clock care. Your heart ached for him, but you were determined to be there for him. You knew this would be a challenging time, but you were also grateful for the opportunity to spend more time with your husband.

The doctor gave you Jensen’s discharge papers, explaining he had to stay off the ankle for at least 6-12 weeks. At this time Jensen didn’t need surgery. When the doctor said Jensen would need round the clock care, Jensen’s jaw clenched. You kissed Jensen and left to pull the car around. When they wheeled Jensen out, you saw the anger and disappointment in his eyes. When he looked at you, his eyes softened. Jensen had always hated feeling like he was a burden, and now needing round-the-clock care, he really felt like it.

You helped him into the car and he kissed your cheek as you pulled yourself out of the car. You smiled at him, and he smiled at you. Climbing into the driver’s seat you took his hand in yours. “It’s going to be fine, Jensen. I’m here for you, I’ll always be here for you.”

Jensen nodded, but you could still feel the tension coming from him. “Shit! I need to call work. This is going to set us back so far with filming. Damn it!” Jensen ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

He called his manager and told them what happened. They told Jensen not to worry, they would call and take care of everything. He told them once he got cleared he would be back at work.

When he hung up he looked over at you. “I still can’t believe you’re here. Thank you for surprising me, sorry I ruined the surprise by getting hurt.”

You sighed softly, “Jensen, honey, stop. You didn’t ruin anything, and this isn’t your fault. It was an accident. Besides, now you’re stuck with me for a few weeks. I’ll be your beck and call girl. Anything you need, I’ll make it happen.” He chuckled a little and grinned, “Anything?” He wiggled his eyebrows. You giggled, “Yes, baby, anything you need.”

Once the two of you got back home you helped him out of the car. When you opened the door to help him inside a sudden wave of nausea hit you. You held your breath and tried to focus on Jensen and helping him get inside. A little bit of bile creeped up your throat and you swallowed hard, trying to keep it down.

Jensen noticed you and asked if you were okay. You nodded, not trusting your voice. Getting him inside you set him up in the living room, while you ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach. Unfortunately for you, your stomach was empty so it was mostly bile and dry heaving.

Brushing your teeth, you walked back into the living room. Jensen was mindlessly flipping through the channels on the television. “Jens, do you need anything other than food? It’s almost time for your medicine, so I’m going to cook you something. What would you like?”

Jensen sat thinking for a minute, “You know I��d really love some breakfast, eggs, bacon, toast and coffee.” “Do you have all that here, or do I need to run to the store?” “I think we have it here. I can go check.”

You placed your hands on your hips, “Jensen, no. I’ll go look. You have to stay off your ankle.” Jensen huffed and groaned, “Fine.” You smiled, walked over and kissed his lips softly, “I love you, Jensen. This is for the best. We need you to get better.”

Jensen’s eyebrows lifted, “I can think of something that can make me better.” He smirked. You laughed, “I need to feed you and give you your medicine, remember we have to stay in front of the pain. Maybe later.” You winked.

Jensen let out a long sigh, it was full of frustration and something else, desire maybe. You touched his shoulder and walked into the kitchen to start cooking. Grabbing everything you needed your mind drifted to the baby. Trying to figure out when was the best time to tell Jensen.

The two of you had talked about children, but agreed to wait a little while longer. Mainly because Jensen had all his new projects and conventions coming up. He wanted to be present during the pregnancy, and he knew right now was not the best time.

Your joy filled heart clenched. A tear slipped out at the thought of the timing and the possibility of him being upset about it. Continuing cooking the smell of the different foods and coffee mixed in the air. The smell became overwhelming and it sent you running to the bathroom.

You sat on the cold tile of the floor, head bent down as you tried to stop the nausea. There is no way I can keep this from him for too long. As you exited the bathroom you heard Jensen call you.

“Sweetheart, are you okay? It sounded like you were getting sick.” You walked into the living room and smiled softly, “Yeah, I’m okay. Probably just airplane food.” You chuckled softly.

Jensen knew something was wrong, partly because he knew you never ate anything on the plane. He let it go. You finished cooking and brought Jensen his food. As you sat beside him, he looked over at you, “Thank you baby, this looks delicious. Aren’t you going to eat?” You shook your head, “Not right now. I’m not very hungry.” He nodded and continued eating.

When Jensen was finished eating you took his plate and went into the kitchen. You cleaned up the kitchen and went back to the living room and sat beside Jensen.

He was flipping through the channels again and you heard him grunt, turning off the television and sitting the remote down.

Jensen laid his head back on the couch and sighed. You looked over at your husband and could feel his pain and frustration.

Touching his arm you said, “Babe, I know you’re frustrated, but we can figure something out for you to do while you’re home.”

“What?! What am I going to do besides sitting on my ass?! That’s all I’m fucking good for right now. Just leave me alone for a while.” You jumped at the anger and harshness in his voice.

You felt the tears prick your eyes, putting your head down and taking your hand away, you whispered “I’m sorry.”

You got up and walked out of the room. Locking yourself in the bathroom, you sat on the side of the tub and let the tears fall. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt to hear him talk to you like that.

After a few minutes you washed your face and took a deep breath before you opened the door.

Stepping into the hallway, the house was quiet. As you walked towards the living room your heart raced.

Jensen was still sitting on the couch. “Jens, I’m going to the store. Do you need anything?” Jensen didn’t look at you, all he said was “whiskey”.

You swallowed hard. “Baby, I don’t think you can drink with your medicine the doctor gave you for pain.” “Then I won’t take it. Get me some whiskey or I’ll get it myself.”

You stood in silence. Your heart broke. Jensen had never been so cruel to you. “Jensen I’m not getting you alcohol, and you can’t drive. I don’t want you to end up in the hospital or worse because you got drunk while taking your medication. You need the medicine for the pain, you can’t just not take it. Please baby, don't let this minor setback get to you like this.”

Jensen’s jaw clenched. He stood and looked at you, “A minor setback? Are you kidding me?! Fuck! This is just my career going up in smoke. You know, the one that affords our lifestyle. One where you can fly across the country when you want to.”

You gasped and tears flooded your eyes. Jensen instantly regretted what he said when he saw the hurt in your eyes.

You turned around as the tears fell. You grabbed your bag and keys and walked outside. You got in the car, started it and drove away. The tears were falling fast and sobs left your body.

You pulled over because it got so bad you couldn’t see to drive. Your heart was broken. How could you tell him you’re pregnant? He’s so angry and taking it out on you.

Determined to be the best wife you could be, you went to the grocery store and bought groceries for the next week. You also picked up some prenatal vitamins and other things you needed. You called your boss and told them you’d be out for a while due to Jensen’s injury. They were less than happy and told you to either be back in a week or don’t come back at all. So you told them you wouldn’t be back.

After you hung up the weight of the day came crashing down. You didn’t know what to do. The one person you’d talk to about everything was part of the problem. You felt so alone.

It was getting dark by the time you got back home. When you walked in Jensen was no longer on the couch. You saw the door to the bedroom closed. You opened it softly and saw Jensen laying in the bed asleep. You closed the door softly.

Heading out to the car you carried in load after load of groceries. Once all the bags were inside you started to put up the food. Throwing away the bags your heart sank. In the trash was an empty whiskey bottle you knew wasn’t there before you left.

You sighed and started getting dinner ready. You were exhausted, both mentally and physically but you needed to eat. You made baked chicken, roasted potatoes and vegetables.

Putting everything in the oven you sat down and turned on the television. You were flipping through the channels when you saw Supernatural was on. It was Season 15 so Jensen was older.

Your heart flipped when you saw him. You always loved watching him and watching the things he did. You were incredibly proud of him and even more so being his wife.

The television was the only sound in the room. You laid your head down and pulled a blanket on you, and your eyes closed.

The sound of the oven timer going off pulled you from your slumber. You got up, noticing the bedroom door still closed and you went into the kitchen.

You pulled the dish out of the oven and sat in on the hot plate. You walked to the bedroom door, and looked in. Soft snores came from Jensen. You closed the door and went to the kitchen.

Putting some food on a plate, you took it to the table with your water and sat down. Your heart was still so heavy from everything. You had to force yourself to eat.

Thinking about the baby, you ate your fill. Thankfully you were able to keep the food down. When you finished eating you cleaned up and put the rest of the food away.

After the kitchen was clean you went to the bathroom to take a shower. The warm water hugging you like a long lost friend. You needed Jensen, you wanted to feel his arms around you.

Standing under the water you cried. Sobs filled your body. As you turned off the water, your hand touched your stomach. “I’m sorry baby. I’m going to fix this. I promise.”

You pulled on some clean underwear and one of Jensen’s shirts. Leaving the bathroom you made sure everything was locked up and turned off.

Deciding to give Jensen space you went into the guest room. You closed the door and climbed into the bed. Your heart ached for Jensen. Tears fell and you cried into the pillow.

You didn’t know Jensen had woken up while you were in the shower, hearing your sobs. The guilt was washing over him. He laid there listening to you and trying to muster the courage to apologize for being an ass, but he knew you’d be angry smelling the alcohol on his breath. So he just laid there.

When he heard you leave the bathroom and locking up the house he prayed you’d come to bed. Hearing the guest bedroom door close, his heart sank. Jensen knew he messed up.

Jensen was so angry he got hurt, but even more so at himself for taking it out on you. He needed to apologize but he wasn’t sure if you’d want to talk to him.

He pulled himself out of bed and grabbed the crutches the doctor had given him. Steadying himself he made his way to the guest bedroom. Opening the door carefully he saw you laying in the bed with his shirt on and his heart swelled. You were sleeping so peacefully. Your hair laying around your head like a halo. The soft glow of the streetlights casting shadows across your face.

Jensen stepped into the room and sat on the side of the bed. He lightly touched your face, “Sweetheart, wake up.” Your eyes fluttered open and you saw Jensen sitting next to you. His green eyes filled with regret and sadness.

You sat up and threw your arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest. Jensen rubbed your back and kissed your head. “Shhh it’s okay baby. I’m so sorry. This wasn’t your fault and I took it out on you. Baby please forgive me. I’m an ass and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up foe what I said.”

You pulled away, “Jensen, you really hurt me. I know you’re angry about your injury, but you have to know the way you spoke to me wasn’t okay.”

Jensen hung his head in shame, “I know baby. I swear I’ll never speak to you like that again. I love you so much.”

You tilted his chin up and looked in his eyes, “I know you do baby. I love you too.” You placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Come on darlin’, let’s go to our room.” Jensen stood with the crutches and started to walk out of the room. He stopped when he saw you weren’t moving. “What’s wrong Y/N?”

You took a deep breath, “Jens, I need to tell you something.” Jensen was nervous, “Okay baby. You know whatever it is you can tell me.”

Taking a deep breath you looked in your husband’s eyes, “Jensen, I came to surprise you this week because I missed you. I missed being in your arms. I missed your kiss, and your ability to make me feel that no matter what everything was going to be okay. I also missed making love until we were both exhausted and completely satisfied. But, that all pales in comparison to why I wanted to come see you. A few days after you left I had a check up at the doctor. I got some news I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. So I had to come see you. Then once I got here, everything got turned upside down. You were hurt and angry. It just didn’t feel like the right time to talk to you. I’m so scared, Jensen. Scared of what this will do to us, what it means for us.”

Jensen’s heart broke at your words. This was his fault, why you felt you couldn’t talk to him. His anger and him lashing out broke something between you two. He took a deep breath, “Baby, whatever it is we will do it together. I’m not going anywhere. I love you more than anything and I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like you can’t talk to me. You can always talk to me. It’s my job as your husband to share the load with you. Please, sweetheart, talk to me. What did the doctor say?”

You met your husband’s green eyes and said, “I’m pregnant.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide. At first you couldn’t read his expression. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest.

He leaned down, took you in his arms and crashed his lips to yours. The kiss was filled with passion and joy. You returned the kiss with equal fervor. Pour all your love and forgiveness into it.

Jensen pulled away and looked at you smiling. “You’re really pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?” You nodded yes.

“You’re not upset, Jens?” “Oh no, baby. I’m so happy. We’re having a baby!”

Tears pricked your eyes as you kissed him again. “Jensen, let’s go to bed.” You climbed out of bed and walked with him to your shared room. Helping him take off his pants, the both of you climbed into bed and he pulled you in his arms.

“Thank you sweetheart for being here to take care of me even if I’m a jackass, and thank you for having my baby. God I love you. I don’t deserve you.”

“I love you too, Jensen, and yes you do. You deserve so much. I can’t wait to bring our baby into this world. They are going to be so loved.”

Jensen placed his hand on your belly, “They already are.”

As you laid beside Jensen, him holding you close, you realized that your lives had taken an unexpected turn. But you were determined to face whatever challenges came your way, together. No matter what it was.

Tags are open, if you want to be added, let me know.

Tags:

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573

@k-slla @jackles010378

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

@roseblue373 @cheynovak

@jassackles @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

[patchiko]

You’ve been given AK Jason so much love thx ☺️ if it’s not too much… what are some of AK Jason’s comforts? Does he have comfort foods? 🥘 Does he like the sound of the rain? 🌧️ Naps on the couch ? 🛋️

Thx 🥰

ill give this man love anytime💟

and its never too much anon, i love writing for him and yall!

Comforting Ak!Jay

(IM SO PROUD OF THIS I 💟 MY AUTISM)

(ngl this also just turned into my character analysis of Ak!Jay’s psychological gymnastics from Comics ((AK Genesis & Batman: AK)) and games) (still wrote the comfort shit tho)

hc, but i dont think any jason todds like the rain. it reminds them too much of the time he was a kid, didnt have a place to stay and went to sleep cold and wet

or when he was still young and with his family, his apartment would get flooded.

BUT ANYWAYS—

alone, i dont think jason can comfort himself very well.

beats himself for it when its over, drops him back into a spiral

just very much not healthy

HOWEVEER with someone is very different ,,

I Ramble Abt Jason Todd

post writing this, i feel like that one tweet thats like, ‘i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene.’

Ak!Jays spirals or episodes come from two things, his self-esteem or self-worth, along with his lack of self-identity

Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) has a very hard time with his self worth, it solely stems from wanting to prove people wrong about himself. he obviously doesn’t like being perceived in the wrong way.

Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) says he’s move pasts his traumas, yet his identity and reasoning is constantly rooted in them, leading to so much contradictory dialogue and mental FUCKING GYMNASTICS.

ak!jay juggling if he wants to be loved by batman/batfam or wants to end it

i think he often ponders if he was better off being killed by the joker, or if he can really be redeemed from his actions as Arkham Knight by helping Gotham as Red Hood.

and if it’s enough for the people around him or someone to accept him.

if he can truly ever be loved

he has a lot of crisises about his identity and purpose more often then not b/c he cant find a reason for either besides his own anger and approval addiction.

, his biggest fear is losing, being worthless, and unwanted.

his constant drive is winning and proving himself as the best.

it causes his always feeling the need to prove himself, just so that hes wanted.

full pic is him on hid knees begging alfred for help,, my baby—-

the first introduction of his internalized self-deprecation is with his father, other then the Arkham Knight Annual

though he rejects this “truth” in the Annual, showing his determination to prove himself more then what Bruce and the Joker idealizes him to be, I think its a good mirror into Jasons mind and what really makes him start cracking

Ex. , his biological father canonically telling him he was a loser growing up, and his mom seems to personify/objectify Jason as gothams gravitation keeping them in gotham.

another example is the way he is talked to throughout scarecrows psychotropic

throughout the comic and game he goes between or showing a desire for a connection with bruce and praising joker for his upbringing, then chastising them.

its very clear jason has an identity issue, with him isolating himself because he believes he is too broken (game dialogues), his need for validation stemming from his childhood, his fear of abandonment, and overall internal dilemmas of wanting a connection or not. obviously hes not good with working out his emotions on his own without doing considerably impulsive things.

jason wanting to be his own person v jason wanting to be a better person for the people in his life

He see’s the place he was tortured as a rebirth for him, along with his plan to destroy Gotham and Bruce.(AK: Genesis)

This only comes from his desire to want his own separate identity, by ending these cycles of Bruces actions and Gothams nightmares he also believes that he will be truly free.

his only true identification with himself is anger and resentment, being built, gravitated, and broken by anger. feeling like hes always losing or lost, and his desire to just win something and therefore be wanted

okay to stop a fuckton of more rambling jason todd, abandoment issues, jealousy/obsession issues, need for connection, validation, relationships, self-destructive isolation, brainwashing induced perception issue, intense mood swings which also cause perception issues.

i guess it could try to be argued that Jason doesn’t actually want validation bc he got over the psychotropic; but i disagree with the way he constantly talks about being underestimated and feeling like he has to prove himself throughout the comics and his dialogue with Barbra in game.

i also want to make it clear that throughout the ak!comics he does help civilians so it does really have morality for other people. He does separate Gothams Gravity from the people, and claims the worst of the worst (villains and such) are the people who succumb to gotham.

(im only stopping bc im on mobile and couldn’t put anymore pictures)

im so upset.

theres so much i didnt get to talk abt

Ok Actually Comforting

so its pretty god damn hard to comfort this dude, he’s a chronic over analyzer, could probably turn anything and everything you say against himself or you, and yet would crave validation and intimacy.

which makes him a bit of a trip,, but i love him. so.

a lot of the time you’ll have to go with his flow

if its really bad he’ll isolate himself, he feels like he’s letting you down by breaking in front of you. He can’t let you see him as weak because to him its a liability for your relationship.

as well as the fact that his perception becomes very extreme/warped when very emotional. he’ll can range from believe your lying to him, to he’s not worth that kind of comfort and he’s wasting your time.

it takes a lot of patience for him to accept that he isnt an inconvenience to you and you do actually care

overtime, a lot of fucking time, he’ll slowly come around to this. instead of leaving for days or weeks at a time, Jason will leave for at most a day or two, but around midnight he’ll be home craving your presence.

he cant be alone again, he really doesn’t wanna be alone again, he needs to make sure you don’t wanna leave him.

probably just goes to sleep facing you, or holding your hand if hes feeling especially mushy.

he’d be so quiet, having the internal battle of leaving you or letting him feed into his desire of just having you around him.

In his words, needing a home. feeling safe, and warm. (I LIED I DELETED TWO PICS TO SHOW THIS)

jason thinking of alfred as home>>

Jason needs that in a partner! Someone who is warm to him! someone who makes him feel wanted or needed! Someone who makes him feel safe!

I think if you catch him just as he gets triggered/begins to spiral, you can help him not crash out.

Being over the top mushy with him isnt gonna work, he needs someone to ground him and be 100% with him.

sometimes he doesn’t need to talk or just doesn’t want to, again presence.

but acknowledging him every now and then to make sure he knows your not brushing him off or forgot about him.

when you’re in a closer relationship he definitely just wants you in his arms, needs to hold you close.

Home-cooked meals with him, justing going about your life with him, making him feel wanted, making him feel acknowledged.

i think he’d open up every now and then, but i think he’s also still a self-assured person who needs guidance at the right time. to just be sure he’s on the right path and youre with him.

one of his triggers is his own jealousy, accidentally making him feel like he’s replaceable or him believing you’ll get tired of him.

he needs so much reassurance.

just be there with him, guide him, love him, make sure he’s on the right path.

he needs a lot of things, sometimes its naps, sometimes its food, sometimes just to be in your arms, sometimes to help you cook, sometimes watching you work, sometimes he’ll have you lay your back on his chest and read with him, sometimes he just wants to fall asleep with you, sometimes he wants to cry in your arms, JUSDHRIDJDJDISO JASON TODD COME HOME WE MISS YOUUUU

HES MY HIGH MAINTENANCE GF

this was so satisfying to write i <3 jason todd

rq/inbox is open !! if you just wanna yap or wanna request somethin’ go ahead!

[pines-troz]

Night Shift - An Inside Out 2 One-Shot

AN: I recently saw Inside Out 2 and loved it a lot! Feeling inspired, I wrote a one-shot fanfic focusing on my favorite characters, Fear and Anxiety.

Plot: While Fear is on Dream Duty, he finds that Anxiety is still awake and is determined to help her.

Relationship Tags: Fear & Anxiety, Fear/Anxiety

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Mutual Pining

AO3 Link

On the main floor of Headquarters, nine colorful emotions gathered around the console. It was nighttime and after a busy day, their shift was coming to a close. The cool darkness of Riley’s room faded to black as the teen drifted off to sleep, causing the screen to turn off. 

“And that’s a wrap,” Joy cheerfully declared. “Good work, everyone!” 

The other eight emotions applauded as another great day finally ended. It had been about two months since the school year started, and three months since the five new emotions arrived. Though there had been some infighting at the beginning between the newcomers and the old guard, the ten of them already settled into a comfortable routine as nine of them operated the console with Nostalgia sneaking in now and again to reminisce over a recent memory. 

“Fear, you’re in charge of dream duty tonight.” Joy reminded. 

Though Fear suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, he refused to completely hide his disdain of dream duty. “Aye aye, Joy,” Fear sarcastically responded with a salute.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Joy responded, brushing aside the contemptuous tone. She leaned in and gave Fear a high five. Even he couldn’t help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. She then turned her attention to the rest of the group. “As for everyone else, let’s get some shut-eye!” 

“Yeah!” Anger agreed. He moved over to Joy and the two shared a high-five before walking off together.

Fear smiled as he watched his friends/coworkers make their way to the bedroom. Sadness and Embarrassment walked together, appreciating each other’s company. Envy bounced over to Disgust while Anxiety and Ennui trailed behind as the latter lethargically pushed herself across the floor like the bored noodle that she was. 

“Good night Fear,” the emotions told him in near unison. 

“Good night everybody.” Fear replied. 

Once everyone left the main floor, he let out an exasperated sigh. He dreaded dream duty. Not because he was scared of the dreams, far from it. But because the dreams themselves were so insipid. 

The scenarios were ludicrous, the plotlines were structured terribly, and the dialogue was laughable. But it was part of the job and he had no choice. But just because he had to endure dream duty didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun on the night shift. 

Fear ventured in the kitchen to gather his nourishment of choice for the night. He made himself a fresh cup of coffee with cream and sugar substitute and grabbed a box of crackers from the cabinet. After placing the bowl of crackers on a separate chair, the purple emotion smiled contentedly as he relaxed in his seat. He was going to need all the comfort he could get for whatever ridiculous dream he would be forced to watch. 

Fear adjusted his spot on the chair, propped his legs on the console, and crossed them. Taking a swig of his coffee, he glanced at the screen. “Alright, what trainwreck of a dream do we have in store for tonight?” 

The screen projection turned on to reveal an abandoned grocery store. From Riley’s perspective, she scanned her surroundings. The green and white tiled floors were particularly dirty and a synth-pop song muffled from the loudspeakers. She then made her way through the pasta aisle. 

“The grocery store, seriously?” Fear groused. He was used to dreams taking place in school or a haunted house, but his suspension of disbelief was already broken. “So what’s the big set piece this time? Haunted pasta sauce?” 

Suddenly, a metal clang rang out. Riley turned around to find a can of Chef Boyardee’s on the floor. After a moment of silence, the can started to chase her around. Fear cocked his brow. Though he was thoroughly unimpressed with this dream scenario, he still felt a small spark of satisfaction in predicting the storyline. 

“Eh, close enough.” Fear shrugged his shoulders, taking another sip of his coffee. 

He continued to heckle at the screen as the dream played out on the screen. The rolling can of cheap pasta escalated into a swarm of floating shopping lists and a fleet of shopping carts. 

“Are they even trying anymore?” He riffed with a disbelieving laugh. 

A sudden vibration sound reached his ears. He elicited a shriek as he jolted in his seat. The curled nerve on top of his head stood as straight as a lightning rod. Fear exhaled. No one else should be up at this time of night, and he was certain that Nostalgia would not make this much noise when intruding on the main floor. The only possible source for the vibration was the special chair Joy brought for Anxiety after Riley returned from Hockey Camp-

Fear blinked in realization. He slowly swiveled his seat to find Anxiety, donned in her orange-and-white striped pajama gown and green slippers, lying down in her special chair. She wore a perturbed expression as her eyes were glued to the ceiling. There was no doubt that she was anxious over something. 

“Anxiety?” Fear asked. 

Anxiety’s eyes widened like a deer in headlights at the sound of her name. The moment she stared at Fear she began to panic. She banged the off button with her fist, stopping the vibrations. In great haste, she adjusted the seat to an upright position. Bolting out of the chair, she cautiously approached Fear, keeping her hands clasped together as she twisted her arms about. 

“I’m so, so sorry Fear,” Anxiety fervently apologized. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your dream duty. I want to go to sleep, but I can’t because I’m so worried about Riley’s Spanish test. I want to help her a-and I’ve been debating on whether she should study a little bit more or not.”

Fear empathetically gazed at Anxiety. He knew what it was like to feel unprepared in the face of uncertainty. But it was both his and Anxiety’s obligation to do their part to keep Riley on her toes for the things she can and cannot see. They were kindred spirits in that regard. They both played their part throughout the week to keep Riley in check as she studied for the big test. Earlier in the day, she spent three hours studying; two hours at the public library, thirty minutes before dinner, and thirty minutes before starting her bedtime routine. Fear was confident that Riley had a strong handle on the material and that she could ace the test. He had hoped that Anxiety felt a similar level of confidence as well. But as stared at Anxiety, he could tell that her mind was plagued with varying ‘what if’ outcomes of what could happen if Riley did poorly on the test. But Anxiety tended to focus on the worst-case scenarios, which only fueled her uneasiness. 

Anxiety began to pace around the room. “If she doesn’t pass the test, then this might snowball into horrific consequences for her academic future! Or her future in general!” 

Fear’s heart broke as he watched her get caught up in her whirlwind of worries. Now he felt compelled to help her out. Though part of him feared that he would say the wrong thing or make things worse, he still could not stand by and watch Anxiety suffer. 

He got up from his seat and cautiously approached her from behind. “Hey Anxiety,” he gently tapped her shoulder. 

Anxiety jumped a little at the soft touch. Fear felt a moment of apprehension, feeling that he made a miscalculated move. “Sorry!” He apologized. But when she turned around, her expression was a mix of somberness and yearning.

Fear mustered the courage to keep going. He placed his hand on her shoulder once more, thankful that she welcomed the gesture. “I understand your concern, and you did your best to help Riley stay on track for her upcoming test, but she needs to get a good night’s rest for tomorrow and so do you.”

“I know, I know,” Anxiety replied hastily. “But it’s just that I feel so overwhelmed,” she admitted as she began to tear up. “I want to help Riley do the best she can, but I don’t want to overdo it and hurt her again,” her voice began to crack. 

Fear sadly stared at Anxiety, even feeling himself tear up a little at how broken she sounded. “Come here,” he said softly. Opening his arms, he enveloped her in an embrace. 

He gently rubbed her back in a soothing motion, hoping it would help. To his surprise, he felt Anxiety wrapping her arms around him, tightening the hug. She elicited a choked sob before burying her face into his chest. 

Fear continued to embrace Anxiety as she dispelled her tears. He tried to come up with any comforting words, but he was drawing a blank. But then he decided it would be best to show that he cared through his comforting actions.

Soon enough, Anxiety’s heavy breathing eventually evened out and the tears lessened. She loosened her hold around Fear and slowly released herself from the embrace. Anxiety looked up at Fear, her green eyes now puffy. 

“Do you feel a little better now?” Fear gently asked. 

Anxiety nodded her head. “Yeah,” she confirmed, giving him a little smile. 

Fear smiled back at her, glad to hear that she was improving. “Do you want to talk about some potential solutions for Riley’s studying?” He inquired. 

Anxiety scrubbed the last of her tears from her eyes. “But what about dream duty?” 

They looked over to the screen only to find Riley watching a group of leotard-clad dancers resembling cats performing an elaborately choreographed dance number. 

“Well that took a bizarre turn,” Fear commented. He looked back at Anxiety and shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, it looks like the dream can take care of itself. You, on the other hand, are far more important.”

Anxiety smiled softly at the affirming words. Fear motioned over to her special chair. “Come on, let’s take a seat,” he said, giving her a gentle pat on the back. He sprinted over to his chair and dragged it over to meet with Anxiety who returned to her special chair. 

Fear placed the chair across from Anxiety so they could talk face-to-face and sat down. “You’re good at coming up with plans, Anxiety,” he complimented, matching his hands together and pointing them at her. “So what do you think Riley could do in the morning to ensure that she’ll do great on her test?” 

Anxiety moved her feet back and forth as she gazed at the floor. After a moment of pondering, she looked up at Fear. “Well…she could review the study guide on the car ride to school,” she began. 

“A most wise course of action,” Fear confirmed.  

“And she can read through it once more during homeroom,” Anxiety continued, sounding more confident. “Oh! And after the test, she can get a head start on her rough draft for the English essay that’s due in two weeks!” 

Fear’s face lit up as he snapped his fingers. “Now that sounds like a surefire plan for success!” 

Anxiety’s shoulders relaxed. “It feels good to have a plan.” 

Fear smiled back. “It does,” he agreed. 

But the smile vanished from her face, appearing apprehensive once more. Fear concernedly stared at her. “What’s wrong?” 

Anxiety took a deep breath. She placed her hand on her other arm and rubbed it soothingly. “I’m…I’m sorry for interrupting your dream duty and burdening you with my problems.” 

“Anxiety, you have nothing to apologize for,” Fear reassured her as he got up from his seat and moved closer to her. He knelt by her side. “And please don’t refer to yourself as a burden because you are a valuable member of the team.” Brushing aside his fears, he gently took her hand into his own. “But if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me.” He said with conviction, despite his cheeks turning a darker shade of purple. “I care about you a lot and I want to help you. So if you feel overwhelmed, you can come to me and we’ll work through it together.” 

Anxiety looked at Fear’s hand. Though her cheeks heated up from the surprising gesture, she savored the comfort he provided her with. She threaded her fingers in between his and gave it a gentle squeeze before smiling back at him. 

“Thanks, Fear,” Anxiety said softly. “For everything.” 

Fear looked down at “I’m happy to help,” he confirmed. 

“So do you mind if I camp out on my special chair for the night?” Anxiety inquired. 

“Be my guest,” Fear replied. He then thought of an idea that could help Anxiety fall asleep faster. 

“You make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back,” he gently told her while patting her hand before releasing it from his grasp. 

Fear sprinted away from the main floor with a clear mission. He approached the bedroom and stealthily entered inside. Careful not to make any noise, he crept over to his bed and grabbed the essentials: a blanket, his favorite nightlight of the nine that illuminated his sleeping quarters, and his beloved teddy bear. With the items bundled in his arms, he returned to the control room, where Anxiety had already lit her lavender-scented candles and retrieved her sleep headphones. 

Fear approached Anxiety with the precious cargo. He clutched the star nightlight and his teddy bear to his chest as he gathered the soft blanket before offering it to Anxiety. She graciously accepted the blanket and placed it over herself. 

After plugging the nightlight on the wall, Fear approached her with the teddy bear. “I normally don’t do this, but tonight I shall bestow you with my nighttime companion.” He handed the teddy bear over to her. 

Anxiety gazed at the adorable plush bear in adoration. “I will protect this precious creature with my life!” She declared. 

“I hope that won’t be the case, but I commend the dedication,” Fear noted. 

Fear went over to dim the lights and returned to the console. “I’ll do my best to keep my riffing to a minimum and use my indoor voice,” he told her as he brought his chair back to the console. 

“Thank you Fear,” Anxiety said as she reclined the chair backward. 

“You’re welcome,” Fear replied before turning his attention to the screen. 

He continued to monitor the dream and was increasingly baffled by the story choices. Out of curiosity, Fear looked behind to find Anxiety fast asleep, clutching the teddy bear in her arms. She looked so calm and so…beautiful.

He smiled sweetly at her as the nerve on his head turned into the shape of a heart. Taking his hand, Fear pressed it to his lips and blew a kiss to Anxiety. “Sweet dreams, Anxiety.” 

To his surprise, he caught Anxiety’s lips curving into a small smile. 

The soft smile stayed on Fear's face as he swiveled the chair around to continue his job. Though the screen played out the ridiculous dream, the sight of Anxiety peacefully sleeping replayed in his head. He took another sip of his tea and smiled at the lovely sight.  

----------------

Anxiety opened her eyes to find herself on the special chair. She looked down to find Fear’s precious teddy bear safely tucked in her arms. She instinctively hugged the bear while making a note to acquire her own emotional support plushie. 

She looked over to see Fear propping himself up on the console, no doubt bored out of his mind from the mediocre dream. Anxiety cradled the bear in her arms as she stared at her kind coworker. Fear did so much for her last night and she wanted to return the favor. 

Gathering the blanket and teddy bear, the orange emotion took off her sleeping headphones and slinked off her special chair. Once she stood up, she grabbed the nightlight and discreetly pulled it off the electrical socket. With Fear’s possessions bundled in her arms, Anxiety tiptoed away from the main floor. 

She arrived at the sleeping quarters as the other emotions, save for Joy, were still in their slumber. Anxiety quietly moved over to Fear’s bunk. She plugged his favorite nightlight back into the outlet. Adjusting his pillow, she placed his teddy bear in place and tucked it in with his blanket. Smiling at her handiwork, she gave the teddy bear a couple of head pats before heading off to her bunk. 

Anxiety quickly gathered her clothes from her drawer. She moved into the closet, got herself dressed, and made her way over to the kitchen. 

As soon as she approached the doorway, she found a table filled with plates and a buffet of breakfast foods. Joy happily prepared scrambled eggs by the stove. The cheerful emotion turned around to find Anxiety standing by the doorway and smiled. 

“Oh, there you are, Anxiety!” Joy said sweetly as she scrapped the scrambled eggs onto a large plate. “I noticed that you weren’t in your bed and got worried.” 

“Sorry about that,” Fear replied as she cradled her hands together. “I had a little trouble falling asleep, but I moved over to the special chair.” 

Joy looked relieved. “That’s good. And Fear’s dream duty didn’t distract you?” 

“No, not at all!” Anxiety defended as she frantically waved her hands.  “Fear actually helped me out last night by talking to me and being there for me when I needed it most.” She clasped her hands together. “And I want to do something nice for him.” 

Joy smiled, glad to learn that Fear stepped up and helped Anxiety through her troubles and even more satisfied that Anxiety wanted to do something kind for him to show her gratitude. “Well, that’s very sweet of you, Anxiety,” She noted. 

Anxiety moved into the kitchen and scoured through the cupboards. She looked through the various flatware until she spotted a purple mug. “Aha!” She cheered as she brought it out and closed the cupboard door. Anxiety turned her gaze over to Joy. “So does Fear prefer coffee or tea in the morning?” 

“He normally drinks honey lemon tea,” Joy answered without hesitation. 

“Great!” Anxiety cheered. She turned her attention back to the cabinets. “Now where are the teabags located?” 

----------------

Fear propped his head in his hands, leaning on the console as he stared absentmindedly at the screen. Riley was now rowing a canoe with Bloofy and Pouchy as her companions. 

“I have lots of items!” Pouchy happily declared. “Which one do you think will work the best? A basketball? An avocado?” 

“A coherent script?” Fear tiredly riffed. Before Pouchy could offer the dynamite, the dream shut off. Riley woke up and turned to her alarm clock to find that it 6:00 AM. Her alarm would not go off for another half-hour, so she chose to lie back down. 

“Oh thank goodness, it’s over.” Fear exhaled. Grabbing the remote, he pressed the button which sounded the alarm for everyone to come to the control room. He let out a yawn and stretched out his arms. 

“Hi, Fear,” Anxiety called out as she popped up right next to him. Fear shrieked in surprise, clutching his hands against his chest and moving his chair backwards. Anxiety herself yelped and recoiled at the response. After realizing they unintentionally scared each other, they took a moment to calm down before apologizing to one another in unison. “I’m so sorry, Anxiety,” “I-I’m sorry, I didn���t mean to scare you-” 

But after hearing their words overlap, they stopped to look at one another. After a moment of silence, Fear was the first to speak up. “Did you sleep well last night?” 

“Yeah, I did, thank you,” Anxiety replied. “I, uh, want to give you something,” 

She took him by the hand and helped him to his feet. Fear stared at Anxiety’s hand while she led him to her special chair. On the nightstand, he noticed two hot mugs of tea (one purple and one orange) sitting next to each other. 

Anxiety let go of his hand and picked up the purple mug. “Here,” She quietly offered Fear the tea. Her eyes shyly darted toward the floor. “I...I wanted to thank you for helping me out last night.” 

"Oh thank you, Anxiety, that's very thoughtful of you," Fear said as he gingerly accepted the tea. He inhaled the sweet aroma of the honey lemon tea and blissfully sighed. A good cup of tea was a splendid reward for enduring a long night of dream duty. But if was extra rewarding coming from someone he deeply cared for. 

Fear looked at Anxiety. "So, are you ready to take on today?" 

Anxiety grabbed her mug of green mint tea. "Yeah, I'm ready to put our plan into action." 

The two shared a smile and clinked their mugs together. 

[the-peak-tmnt]

I want to say that I like that your fic is mostly Raph centric because those fics are rare and he deserves more love and pain lol

Raph: Mom says it's my turn with the trauma

Thank you so much! I'm seriously so grateful for people who are willing to give a Raph-centric fic a shot!

I knew writing Raph-centric fic that's also a Mutant Mayhem fic was gonna turn a lot of people off from giving it a try, which I totally understand because I usually go for Leo-centric fics myself lol. It also doesn't help that Mutant Mayhem still isn't super popular.

But Mutant Mayhem Raph is an exciting new version of Raph that's been SO fun to explore, and I'm gonna go on a little rant about why I'm enjoying writing (and torturing) him so much!

[Initiating Raph Rant] So, almost all Raphs are tough guys who also wear their hearts on their sleeves, which is what makes him such a fun character. He's "the angry one", but usually also super emotional in other ways:

Because MM feels more like an actual teenager than most other iterations, his moments of emotional vulnerability feel particularly raw and relatable. I might be old as dirt now, but I do still remember what it was like to be a teenager still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted in life.

Mutant Mayhem does such an amazing job of hitting on those teenage insecurities and desires. The turtles whole goal in the movie is to be accepted. All teenagers feel like outsiders and want acceptance at some point. That teenage desire for acceptance is amplified for the turtles because they're not just teenagers, but mutants as well. The moment where Raph's voice sort of wavers as he says "we're never gonna be normal" breaks my heart every time, because they're so sure acceptance is completely out of reach for them 😭

...but the MM boys do get acceptance by the human world by the end of the film. Raph even seems to find his place own at Eastman on the wrestling team in the post-credit scene.

I think this is what has turned a lot of fans off MM, though, because the turtles' need for secrecy and using their ninja skills to remain hidden has always been an integral part of the TMNT franchise. Personally, I actually love that departure from the typical TMNT format and talked about it once before.

But there are some traditional TMNT elements that I did miss in MM, one of those being the fact that in most iterations, Raph is an outsider even amongst outsiders. His anger is what alienates him from his brothers at times, and it often gets him into trouble. It’s also what almost always leads to his friendship with Casey (another outsider).

Tales of the TMNT isn't out yet, and we don't how this series will give Raph that traditional outsider treatment, or if it will at all. They could save it for Mutant Mayhem 2, but that's still years away. And even then they might decide not to go that route because so far, MM Raph's rage has mostly just manifested in a propensity for fighting & violence rather than interpersonal issues with his brothers & other people. His rage is even framed as useful in the final fight against Superfly.

So anyway...as canon stands right now pre-tottmnt/MM 2, Raph is an "insider". He and his brothers can have a life on the surface, and Raph even seems to have found his own place at Eastman on the wrestling team. Again, I'm all for this happy ending and a brand new experience for the turtles, but I was also missing my personal favorite flavor of Raph...which is angry and alienated lol.

After I saw MM in theaters, I started looking at a lot of the concept art and other production material floating around on the internet and I came across this concept art by Garrett Lee:

And it was like "oh shit, there he is! Outsider Raph!"

He looks so lonely and separate from everyone else here, and I was obsessed with this idea of Raph somehow still being an outsider even after the mutants were accepted by humans. But again, we're still waiting for tottmnt and MM 2, and even then there's no guarantee we'll get an Angry & Sad Outsider Raph out of either of those.

So I asked myself "how can I ruin MM Raph's life so that he's as lonely and miserable as he looks in this concept art???"

...and Reciprocity was born 😅

[crazy-bxmbo-bxtch]

Yandere HUMAN! Hazbin Hotel X Popular reader

Summary: Separate Hazbin characters and their love and obsession for the school's popular girl

A/n: I'm very excited about this one, also College AU/ Modern

Characters: Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer

___________________________________________

Alastor

I feel as if he would like to have an innocent or the mega bitch type of girl. An innocent to play into his love for corruption, a bitch so he can break her sprirts.

Now, if you're an innocent, he will be in awe of you. The reason you are popular is your kindness and beauty toward others, even the bad ones.

Alastor would constantly look at you during lectures, and it was noticeable to anyone who squinted, looking at you promptly.

One day, he will gain the door to be active in your life, getting close to you, by studying.

Imagine this, you are failing a class, and you ask your teacher after in private about it. After talking, you realize there is no fixing your current grade for the class, and the semester is almost over. Not to worry, Alastor will happily invite you over to study with him.

Now... a smart person, knew not to go into Alastor's home, as he is the school's sketchy phyco, as in, the whole university is pretty sure he kills people in private....and practiced black magic..

But in your position, you need the help, plus you're pretty sure he's not a killer, I mean, how could he? Based on the talk you had, he's a man who likes music, loves and respects his mother, and knows how to sing and dance. He's harmless. He was so sweet too, telling you things like "the color on your lips looked Devine on you doe." Or "such a pretty thing." He was even kind enough to make tea....

Once you were knocked out, his plan had set up into motion, then when u woke all you know is that alastor saved you from some rapists, he said "they wanted to take something precious from you." You believed him, now you were the new power couple on campus.

Now, if your a bitch, be in for some hardcore fi

Fuckary. Alasor is attracted to your spunk and your sass. He wants to be the only person who sees it.

As you beat up some pathetic girl who dared to question your delightful singing voice, Alastor was watching in awe from afar. You look so cute when you are upset. You can do no wrong in his eyes.

When it comes to courting, Alastor will be using a different approach and technique. You are not so trusting and lenient as you could have been.

I feel Alastor would show you the crazy he possesses. Let you know that, compared to him, you are weak and need protection, not independence.

Imagine you are running through your home, only in a T-shirt and panties, trying to escape the stranger who just burst into your home. As you run, you rush into the bathroom, locking the door and barricading it with anything you can find. You struggle to unlock your phone as you do so, the person says, "I wouldn't do that, my dearest." You recognized the voice, and all your fear was replaced with anger. "Alastor! What are you doing? I knew you seemed off but not this fucking unhinged!!"

As the house fell silent, Alastor let out a chuckle, "Now my dear, it's time for this attitude of yours to falter." You blacked out, now you can't leave his home, forced to drop out and become a housewife.

In either case Alastor will always

1. Obsess

2. Posses

3. And mf PROTECT

Charlie

I feel like she would also like someone coming from both mean and nice sides, a nice girl because AHHHHH HOW CUTE IS SHE, and a mean one because she wants to find your softer side and help bring it out of you.

An innocent angel that Charlie is good friends with! You both hang out all the time. You could practically be besties. Forever, and ever, and maybe even more? no, even more!

People around campus would notice how much she spends time with you and how much she touches you, she touches certain parts of your body for too long, you could be at Starbucks and she would just be practically hanging on your shoulder.

But don't be fooled, you never pay for your little "bestie dates" when you are with her, even if you offered to go and even offered to pay and she agrees to you paying, you will never be able to truly pay.

Picture this, during a lecture you text Charlie. Her being the lovesick cinnamon roll she is, she texts back immediately, you ask if she wants to go out to a park or something, and she says, 'It's a date :)'. While you are preparing later that day to hang out with your friend, Charlie is getting ready to hang out with her lover....if you are not catching on.....Charlie is DELULU.

Your friends try to warn you that she's trouble, and a little off, but you ignore them because your friends are harsher than you, you are the sweet one of the group.

Charlie's obsession with you is, for the most part, completely unknown. She can hide her sinister intentions with a smile and a trip to Starbucks.

She writes you love songs that she hopes to be able to sing for you one day, she's a charmer like her father after all.

Her biggest fear is you not wanting to be with her anymore, friends or more, she does not care, she will always make sure that u will see her as one of the people most close to you.

Now, a meaner darling will require a more pushy Charlie, she gets all up in your business, stalks your schedule, and ultimately...BOTHERS THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU.

She never leaves you alone, always trying to be overly friendly to you. She tries to get you to open up to her and look at her as someone you can trust, but hell no.

Eventually, she grows a little impatient and uses her advantage of being the principal's daughter to good use. Now you keep getting in trouble with a punishment of study hall and another punishment of having Charlie monitor you.

As you sit there under her watchful eye you can feel something peering through you, not her but a part of her. She smiles and goes back to talking about random nonsense, you got 10 more days of study hall.

...sucks to be u

Vaggie

I feel like she would love a weaker kinder girl, who is also very talkative, one who is like Heather Macnemera, one who is popular because of peer pressure. She would notice and take note of it. All of it, even your life.

The fact that you love, jewelry, hair clips, and having your nails done every month. She would definitely be awkward as hell and would get flustered a little easily.

It also was not a shock...to me at least, that you seemed to pay her some attention, whether you asked her about homework, what she does in her free time, and what her favorite foods are.

She loves the fact that you like to yap because she loves to listen. I can imagine...

Vaggie was doing her work for her major. Blasting music in her earbuds and just vibeing, when she gets a tap on her shoulder. "Hey, you got the notes from earlier?" She freezes when she sees you, "oh...uh..what?" She fucked up her response..shit..."oh..I was asking if you got the notes from earlier? He was going a little too fast for me, I blanked." You were done asking.

You scooch over lean over her shoulder and start copying her notes. Vaggie was panicking, not only were you this close to her but, you spoke to her, with not a hint of malice. Your friends give anyone hell so she was luckey to get this treatment..or that's what she thought. You were always sweet to eveyone...

After you took down the notes you started asking her meaningless questions like, 'What's your favorite color or food?' She would answer, then all of a sudden, "Ms. L/s, do you mind carrying your conversation at another time!?" The professor shouted, but, you always clap back " Well damn, chill out I was just getting the notes your fast ass keeps speeding through, not my fault." That shut him up, now all Vaggie has to do is keep you focused on her just a little....ok maybe a lot more, now she has your attention and she would be damned if she stopped now.

You both became close, Vaggie was an amazing friend...she always protected you, and made sure you stayed by her side and out of harm's way, she was amazing at self-defense, and she would always take you to your favorite fast food places. You did not even know she was crazy....oh well, need to pay attention more.

Lucifer

Now I know this man would be a class clown, it's giving Goofy short king, bro cracks jokes at the teacher that would low-key be insulting or straight rude, especially the teachers that gained some type of excessive liking of you.

He knows everything about you, your fave color, food, jewelry, car....license plate...what your car smells like.....adress....credit card number....all the numbers...anyway.

He is so lovestruck over you he would do anything to entertain you and make you laugh, even though you are two grown adults in college but eh, everyone needs to have fun once in a while.

Now, since in the show, his wife is an entertainer, I feel as though in this he would also have an entertainer darling, one that dances sings, or even acts. He always is there at your performance, he imagines that whatever you are doing is to make him happy, but he's already happy with you ..in his head at least, you do what you do because you love it, but let him be delulu.

He seems very touch starved so I know he would be clinging. Always 5 feet away from you, going off campus for food? He'll ride with you. Does YOUR class start soon? He will drop you off then go to his.

Lucifer, being Goofy, would have been already popular, so many thought you two were dating, lucifer would proudly smile and wall around like you two are together...he could only dream.

You noticed he had a thing for ducks, a little weird, but you can look past that because knows origami....and he makes duck origami for you.. which is hella random but oh well. He even made one that looks like you...he also has a secret one, well like two. They look like you both and are making a heart shape, you don't know about it.

~"Heyyy N/N, sooooo...whatcha doing..?" He asked mentally attacking himself for losing confidence halfway through his introduction. You tell him you want to head over to the park and eat sandwiches and feed the ducks, HIS WIFE, he just loves you. "YOU BETCHA, I'LL BE THERE IN 30". it's a date for him.

While you two sat and laughed, he was beaming at the fact his bad jokes were working, maybe he has a chance? You talk about majors and what you plan to do when you both leave, and he loved that you loved the arts, did he ever mention he sings?~

One thing I know is that this man likes to stare and make faces, he's jealous, what can he say? He won't admit it though, he's too prideful duh. If he attends one of your performances he watches so closely, and he almost forgets about the men making inappropriate comments about your body, they will be handled shorty though, whether he damages their dignity, or fucks them...up...he fucks them up.

Not much thought, just vibes ✨️

Requests: OPEN

[smokersbaby]

Hi, if you're comfortable with writing this, can I request some angst to fluff where Zoro & Sanji ( separately ) reacting to ( gender neutral ) reader sleeping on the couch after an argument? Only if you're comfy ofc, no pressure ^^

Hi! Thank you so much for your request and I apologize if I took some time before answering but I haven't written angst fics before so this is my very first try! I hope you like it, tough! Characters: Zoro, Sanji TW: angst, fluff (there's no real TW tough) Author's note: the arguments are not that serious oc, this is also my first writing with gender neutral reader, it was kinda easy, probably just because it's SFW fanfic but I'd love to try it even with others genres :)

Zoro

You almost hate him when he answers like that. "You shouldn't do that, you're going to hurt yourself," Zoro says as he sees you picking up a very heavy weight of his. Probably it was a little too much for your training, but as soon as he said that, you wanted to prove him wrong. Useless to say that in less than a second the weight fell on your toes, making you swear in pain. "I told you so" Zoro says watching you hurt yourself and coming towards you to land a hand. "Leave me alone!" you shout at him, leaving him speechless. It wasn't your real intention to send him away like that, but at that exact moment, you felt so irritated hearing his know-it-all way to speak. Zoro glanced at you without saying a word and went away, leaving you alone in the room. As the time of going to sleep arrives, your anger dissipates, but yet you are not in the mood to say sorry to him or even to sleep in the same bed, so you decide to rest on the couch for tonight. As you pass in front of your shared bedroom, you see the door slightly open and Zoro in bed, probably already sleeping as if nothing happened. You get some blankets and a pillow as you try to make yourself comfortable on the couch even though the material wasn't enough soft to sleep on with ease. You had a hard time trying to fall asleep, the sound of the things you shouted at Zoro before echoes in your mind, probably you overreacted, but why didn't he try to resolve things as soon as it happened? Tears start falling down your cheeks, overthinking isn't the greatest way to catch some sleep, but in one way or another your eyelids become heavy and you manage to fall asleep on the hard fabric. You didn't sense him approaching you on the couch, but as soon as you feel his arms hugging you tight over the blankets you can't help but hug him back, a soft grunt slips out of his mouth. "Y/N, you don't have to sleep here" you can hear the softness in his voice even though his words seem quite rough. Zoro lets out a sigh as he holds you tighter through the fabric of the blankets. "I didn't want to upset you, I'm sorry" he whispers, you can't resist him when he opens up to you, so you put your arms around his neck to feel him closer. "I'm sorry too, I overreacted" you feel tears running down your face. "No need to apologize" he picks you up from the uncomfortable couch and brings you to your shared bedroom, he places a kiss on your forehead as soon as he holds you in his strong arms. It feels so relaxing to be held like that, you can sense his protectiveness towards you. He places you on the comfy bed and tucks you under the cosy blankets. You probably look like a burrito right now, all rolled up in the sheets, and your eyes are still reddish from the tears and tiredness since it's quite late. Zoro puts himself under the blankets too, hugging you tight and making your head rest on his chest, his hands play with your hair as he helps you fall asleep, his soft touch relaxes you and you start to forget even the reason why you argued with him. "My little stubborn baby" he whispers as he senses you already dreaming between his arms with a soft smile, knowing everything is okay as long as you are with him.

Sanji

Sanji can't be upset with you, even if you get on his nerves with some serious arguing. He keeps calling you "baby or love" all the time and probably this was the main reason that made you lose your temper in that situation.

He couldn't understand all your concern when you told him that he was being too uncautious when fighting. He replied superficially to your statement, even though he got a scar on his chest from the previous battle. "Let me bandage your wound Sanji" you said in a quite angry tone, preventing yourself to tell him -I told you so-, even though it's what you would have liked to say most to him. "No, it's nothing love…" he replied, hiding the pain and trying to look confident even in a moment like that. He continues: "it's not that serious". You gave him a deadly look, how could he answer you that way when his fresh wound was bleeding? Why did he have to act like that? There's nothing wrong in asking for help, furthermore, you are his s/o, and he should know how much you care about him. In that exact moment, you've let your emotions take the lead, as you said to him in such an irritating tone the simple words "Fine, do that by yourself then", making appear a blown away look on Sanji's face. He couldn't understand why you were being so rude to him, just because he didn't need your help with that wound (or probably because he didn't want to appear weak to your eyes). Now you were in the guest room of your shared house, refusing to sleep in the same bed as Sanji and trying to make yourself comfortable on the guest's bed that nobody has ever really used. You could feel the hard mattress springs underneath your body, probably rusty due to using it only a few times. You covered yourself with the blankets trying not to think about the previous argument with Sanji, but how could you not think about it? Tears started running down your cheeks, the tiredness of the day was mixing the thoughts inside your head, making you get up from the uncomfy bed after a few minutes. You went to your shared bedroom and you peeked at the door, seeing Sanji sitting down on the bed trying to bandage himself clumsily. You couldn't help but chuckle a bit seeing him trying to do his best but still not succeeding. You entered the room, Sanji turned his head suddenly hearing your footsteps on the floor. You grabbed the bandages and started wrapping up his wound, without letting him say a word. After you were done, he whispered a soft "Thank you", making you smile slightly. He wrapped his arms around your body, keeping you tight against him. "Let me help you right away next time, there's no shame in asking for help," you said to him, staring into his eyes with a look full of love. He nodded his head while he was still holding you tight, Sanji placed a soft kiss on your cheek, making you smile more. "Where would I be without you, Y/N?" he whispers to you caressing your hair. Your heart starts pounding faster as he tells you these words, making you feel loved and forget why you were angry with him. You're too in love with Sanji that there's no way you could hold a grudge when you are with this lovely man.

[arjwrites]

— Hiii!! I wanted to ask if you could write a angst/comfort Castiel x Winchester!Reader (She's she older sister🥹). Where basically the reader is hunting nonstop to try to vent her anger and Castiel is trying to make her get a break or smth? (Make them cuddle please <3!!)

And I'm so happy to see an active supernatural account omgg‼️❤️‍🩹 (And sorry if it's difficult to understand my request, English is not my first language and it's a little confusing for me </3)

Numb- Castiel x Winchester!Reader

A/N- HI ANON! Thanks so much for being my first ever request! I hope I did this ask justice. Thank you so much for reaching out, feel free to let me know what you think (and don't worry, your English is fantastic!) <3 Summary- Reader is Sam and Dean’s older sister. After a series of unfortunate events, she finds herself separating from her brothers to deal with her own shit the only way she knows how. Castiel, however, has a few things to say about it.  Warnings: Not a whole lot- less than canon level violence, some angst and hurt. A little bit of Cas love <3 -

It had been a hard few years for your family- let’s face, it, a hard few decades. After watching your brothers go through more trials, more heartbreak, more loss than anyone should ever go through in a lifetime, you were weary. Your sweet brothers, so young when they were thrust into this fight. You all were, of course- you were only 6 when everything changed on that fateful night in Kansas. The three of you had grown immeasurably close over all the years of hunting, and it was always your job to keep a watchful eye over the boys. 

You never could have expected what was to come for your brothers. They had faced so much more than you could’ve ever imagined. You were at their side every step of the way as a fierce protector and frequent caregiver. But Sam and Dean were always the eye of the storm- the chaos of the world circled firmly around the two of them. You were a side character time and time again. And that was okay- you played your role, you did everything you could to support your brothers as they went to hell and back. But when one too many demons started chirping in your ear, taunting that you were useless, that you being there only slowed them down, and when your brothers did a less-than-convincing job of assuring you otherwise, you decided you’d take a step back- get out of their way. 

The only way you could describe the feeling was numb. For nearly as long as you could remember, your whole purpose was to protect Sam and Dean, to do anything for them, to keep them safe. And now, you were cast aside, left without a role to play in their big fight. 

It took about a month for you to find your groove. At first you were lost, dodging calls from your brothers, holing up in dingy motels and dirty bars, unsure of what to do with yourself. That was until you heard of a case in the town over from where you were staying- a vamp nest that had been picking at the local population. So, armored only with your own recklessness and loss of purpose, you went in swinging, taking down the nest without so much as a scratch. That was the first time the numbness subsided long enough for you to feel anything. The pure unbridled hatred that coursed through your veins in that moment was the fuel that had been carrying your broken body for nearly six months now. 

Case after case after case. Hauntings and demons and vamps, a shifter, a werewolf or two. You had slashed through every adversary you could track down, careening down the coast and leaving a path of supernatural destruction in your wake. There was no time for breaks, and no need for them. If you let yourself sit with your thoughts for too long, there was no telling what you would do. 

Most recently, you had tracked down a demon with a particularly smart mouth. After being thrown around like a ragdoll and acquiring your fair share of bumps and bruises, you had trapped the demon and begun to exorcise him- but not before he could start talking. 

“Little brothers are lost without you, you know.” The demon gazed down upon you, flashing black eyes and a spreading grin. His tone was taunting, spiteful, designed to confuse and disorient you.

“You shut your goddamn mouth,” you retorted, dousing him in holy water. “You don’t know my brothers.” The latter half of your sentence came out as a whisper, and it was unlikely he had heard you over the sounds of his own screams. 

With the demon exorcised and thus the hunt complete, you soldiered back to your motel room for another night of restless sleep. The anger from the mention of your brothers was still coursing deeply inside of you. Were Sam and Dean really lost without you? Was the demon just saying that so you’d go home and get in their way again? Along with the deep gash that lined your left side and the likely dislocated shoulder, your body also carried with it a confusion and weariness you hadn’t felt since striking out on your own. Yet again, you were letting demons get into your head. 

Arriving at the motel, you unlocked the door and flicked on the buzzing fluorescent light to see a figure standing with their back turned from you. The presence felt deeply comforting and familiar, yet you still drew your gun in anticipation of attack.

“They’re looking for you, you know.” The low, gravelly voice rumbled, traveling slowly across the room as he turned to face you. Castiel. 

Your response was stalled as you processed his arrival. 

“I doubt it, Cas. It’s better to be out of their way. And you know it too.”

“You don’t understand, they were just trying to protect you, but it was not-”

“That’s MY JOB, Castiel. I protect THEM!” Your outburst took the angel slightly aback, drawing a look of concern to his face that you weren’t sure you had seen before. Still, you continued. “But if they don’t want me there to save the world with them, that’s fine. I’m still going to take out every other goddamn thing I can find in the meantime, to protect them the only other way I can.” 

“Y/N. Who protects you? What good do you do to anybody if you’re dead?” Castiel seemed desperate, growing heated in a way that felt out of his nature. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you protested as you cast your gaze away from him.

“Y/N, I have been watching you. I have been here with you many more times than you have realized. But you were too blinded by your own rage and hurt to see. I have done everything I could to protect you for this whole rampage, but this time I could not, and you got hurt.” The angel closed the gap between you as he spoke, grasping a hand around your arm and letting his grace seep into the wound. His proximity was close, and his grip was tight- it felt like he was holding on to you for fear of what would happen if he let you go. You felt the warmth of healing radiate through your extremities, and though it probably wasn’t from the grace, you could feel the comfort reach your heart.  

Your numbness had shifted. Before, it had always been cold and empty, sharp in a way. It was a numbness that begged to be filled, to be pushed away and stifled. But now, with Castiel’s presence, numb felt soft and warm. It relaxed your entire body and relieved you of tension stretching back further than you were even sure of. 

“Y/N, it is time to rest. You have been a soldier since you were only a child. You must let yourself be. You need to come home.”

This was a softer Castiel than you had come to know before you left. It was still Cas, of course- everything you had always loved so dearly about him, but he felt much more human. The concern in his eyes, the poignancy of his words, the way he so clearly loved and cared for you enough to watch over and protect you for months, all while dealing with his own world of problems. 

And he was right. You had run for too long, drowned out your problems and destroyed yourself in the process. All of the exhaustion, aches and pains seeped into you at once. There was nothing left in you to protest. 

“Okay,” you succumbed. “I’ll rest.”

“I’m glad. You can let me know if you need anything. I will listen in. Perhaps I can bring you home tomorrow, after you sleep.” Cas stepped back, getting ready to blip away, when you used the last bit energy in your system to reach back out to him.

“Wait.” You knew what you needed from him, but you were scared to ask. The room stood painfully still, Castiel’s blue eyes locking with yours in confusion, his gaze as intense as ever. 

“Will you please stay?” 

The broken whisper of your voice left nothing for you to hide. You had crumbled right in front of Cas’s eyes. Something inside him hurt, a sharp feeling in his stomach he hadn’t yet felt before. 

“Yes. I will stay,” he nodded with a deeply furrowed brow. 

So the two of you climbed into the motel bed, Cas hesitating but following your lead. Once you both had settled, he found himself melting into your touch. It felt much more natural than he ever would have thought. He had propped himself slightly upright, while your head met his chest and a leg wrapped one of his. His arm draped over you, rubbing gentle circles into your back, keeping time with the rhythmic heave of your breathing. It was peaceful, he had to admit. He understood why humans did this. 

Your own thoughts echoed that same satisfaction. Though there had been a guardian angel watching over you all along, you could finally rest now that you could feel his presence. It didn’t take long for you to drift off- the chance to just lay with Cas lulled you to sleep much faster than you had ever anticipated. As you slept, your grip around the angel tightened from time to time- like you subconsciously feared he would be gone when you woke up. 

Thankfully, Cas wasn’t going anywhere. It was about time someone was there to protect you.