#and I love Rowan and Aelin for each other | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

erisvansserra · 7 months ago

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Follow You

Fenrys x Reader x Azriel

Summery: 30 years ago, Y/N fell through a portal and woke up in Prythian naked an afraid. She counted herself lucky that she was found by the shadowsinger and his high lord, who took her in and gave her a home. Despite their hospitality she dreamed of her home and the mate she left behind, Fenrys, who searched for her until one day.. he finds her.

A/N: OMG thank you for all the love I've received for this fic!! I literally did not expect it and I'm so happy you all like it! You can read part 1 here.

You awake in the middle of the night and turn in bed to reach for Azriel, your hand skimming the covers in search for his warmth. When you feel nothing but cold sheets you open your eyes and look to where he should be, nothing. As you begin to wake from the early morning brain fog you realise you're in the townhouse, your friends had returned, and you were going home.

......

Hours later you're sitting in the living room with Rowan and Aelin, their presence and laughter bringing you such comfort, for the first time in 30 years you feel truely at home. Aelin was in the middle of telling you about Lysandra and Aedions wedding when the inner circle walked through the front door. Your eyes met Azriels the moment he walked through the entry way, his face a mask of indifference that made you feel uneasy. You stood from your seat on the couch, unsure if you should make the steps toward him, seek the comfort in his touch.

"Hi" you say in a soft voice, the world dripping away like melting ice as you and the shadowsinger stare at each other "Hi" he responds in a voice just as soft. His smooth voice encases your body in goosebumps, his hazel eyes took a quick sweep of your body checking for any injuries making you smile slightly. "Can you two stop being so.. weird and hug?" Cassian's loud voice breaks through the tension, making your smile grow and a blush spread on your cheeks. Azriel smiles as well and makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You feel a new type of tension enter the room as Rowan and Aelin stiffen from their spots on the couch. "What's this?" Aelin asks, her posture changing from casual comfort to regal royal with the snap of her spine. You feel that stomach twisting guilt begin to suck you in again as you look between your friends. "She's my partner” Azriel answers with a slight growl as he brings you closer to his chest, tucking you in under his chin protectively. Aelin goes to open her mouth bur Rhysand raises his hand to interject "may I show you something?" he asks. Rowan and Aelin look at each other cautiously before nodding, slowly Rhysand uses his powers to enter their minds and shows them what happened that night they found you in the wood.

30 Years Ago

You fell from the sky, the limbs of trees smacking your naked body as you crashed to the cool ground. You screamed in pain as your plumet reached its end, hitting the ground so hard you swore the earth shook. With a broken arm that you cradled with care you began walking around the unfamillar woods, the air smelt different here, your keen eye sight couldn't pick up on anything that reminded you of home. You walked for about 15 minutes before a winged male landed before you. You yelped and began running in the other direction, your legs full of scratches that burnt and bled as your legs pumped under you. Before you got the chance to escape another winged male landed and put a knife to your throat. You whimpered and fell to your knees before him, your broken arm still pressed to your chest as you quickly submitted to the winged male. You felt the tip of his knife under your chin, slowly he lifted your face to his, all you could see in the darkness was those light hazel eyes. "Who are you?" he asked, his voice as harsh as the ground you kneeled upon "y/n" you answered. The male from earlier now stood behind you, their weapons within reach if they needed it.

The memory changed, a new memory coming to view.

It had been 18 months since the night court took you in, tried to give you a home, tried to replace what you lost. Azriel was at your door, a fresh bowl of soup in his hand as he knocked and waited for you to answer. After a few moments he let himself in, you were in bed, depression had taken its toll on you. Your hair was knotted, your skin blanched and dry, your eyes red and puffy from the lack of sleep. Azriel tried to get you to talk, but all you could mutter was his name "fenrys" over and over again. .

The memory moved forward again. You sat in the grass 6 years ago, your skin starting to give a healthy glow and your hair long and healthy. Azriel watched you as you shook your hair out of your face and laid in the grass, sweeping your hands over the blades as you took in the sweet spring air.

He approached you, his boots flanking either side of your head as he peered down to look into your eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be training with Cassian?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. With a click of your tongue you answer “I don’t want to train today, I want to enjoy the first day of spring”. A small smile threatens to creep along his face as he nods, considering your statement.

“Well” he starts, turning his head to look out towards the house of wind, like he could see Cassian sitting there still waiting for you to turn up .“What would you rather do today? If not train” he finishes, his eyes sweeping over to you once more.

You inched your head slightly closer to his left boot, cocking your head as you looked up at him. The sun cast his face in shadow, making his features look sharper and his warm eyes glow ever so slightly.

“Maybe I could do some spy work with you?” You ask, his eyebrows jump up in surprise.

“Really?” He says with a warm chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine “I’ve been here 24 years and never left this court, I’d like to see more of this world” you answer. His face drops slightly at your words, his brother has been locked under the mountain for some time now, prythian was no longer safe. He couldn’t risk losing someone else he.. cared for, not now, not ever. But when he looked at you, saw the hope in your eyes and watched as you held your breath, something in his chest cracked.

“Okay, you can come with me to the edge of our court” he relents but smiles as he watches you beam up at him.

Neither of you knew it, but this was the first stepping stone towards your relationship now. Love slowly blossomed between you in the following year, but he knew deep down you still loved your mate and that was something he was willing to live with if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with you.

Present day

Aelin and Rowan jumped back in their seats as Rhysand left their minds “what the hell was that?!” Aelin shouted, her hands coming to cup each temple of her head.

Rhysand took a moment to explain and apologise for his power, that he was showing them Azriel memories in hopes it can better illustrate your situation. You stepped away from Azriel and walked over to Rowan, kneeling before your cousin you took his large hand in yours.

“I mourned Fenrys for 25 years cousin, I still mourn the loss of him now…” you say as Rowans emerald eyes flick to yours, his mind still reeling from Rhys power.

“I know you of all people would understand the guilt I feel, Rowan, please do not pass judgement too harshly on me” you continue, your voice threatening to convey the very guilt you feel as it tremors slightly. Rowans eyes soften at your words, he doesn’t look towards Aelin as his hand tightens around your own. He gives you a small nod in understanding, his eyes flicking between your own, the pressure lifting from your chest slightly.

Releasing a shuddering breath you rise in front of him and look towards Aelin, you know her and Fenrys are close, you knew it was her judgement that would affect your standing in court. Her eyes pierced you in your place, not a friend but a queen sat before you now. her eyes rake up and down your body before she says “Fenrys has been in his animal form the last 30 years searching for you”.

“Show me” you say looking to Rhysand, his expression unreadable as his eyes shift to Aelin, she nods in acceptance and you feel Rhys power enter your mind.

You see a white wolf, from Aelins POV. It laps at the lake you swam in in your dream, its fur greying and matted in some places. Her eyes skim over its emaciated body, ribs poking out from under its skin.

“You have to eat Fen” you hear Aelin coo to the wolf, it doesn’t even look at her before it plods off in the opposite direction, off to continue its search.

Rhysands power leaves you again, you feel the bile racing up your throat as you turn and sprint through the inner circle to make it outside where you throw up over the balcony railing. Azriel sighs and leaves to comfort you as he always has.

Back in the living room of the town house Rowan shoots Aelin with a glare, clearly upset she chose that memory of Fenrys instead of one where he looked a little less disheveled. “How often does she react like this?” Rowan asks the group as he stands from his seat.

“When she first arrived it was everyday, now it’s… every other day” Cassian answers looking over his shoulder to where you stand beside Azriel as he rubs soothing circles on your back. “I know she is mated to your friend, I know you want to protect him” he continues, his voice soft as he looks back at Rowan. “But she does grieve him, do not think that because she has found Azriel she has forgotten her mate”.

Rowan looks out to you now, his chest threatening to concave on itself as he sees you, his cousin and best friend lost in a fit of grief. He places a hand on Cassians shoulder as he walks past him to the balcony where you and Az whisper to each other. At his arrival you look over your shoulder, your eyes red and puffy from the tears that you’ve shed.

“When was the last time you shifted, cousin?” He asks as he places a hand on your shoulder. “Rowan I-“ you begin but his warm share cuts you off, you sigh before you answer him again “I haven’t shifted since I’ve been here”

Rowan hums in response, then lightly pats you back, he walks around you and the shadowsinger, down the garden steps and waits at the bottom.

“Come on y/n let’s have some fun” Rowan says as he shifts into a hawk. Azriel looks to you in disbelief, he takes a few steps away as the rest of the inner circle make their way outside to investigate the bright light they saw when Rowan shifted. You look at each of their faces, then back to the bird that flies impatiently around the townhouse.

“What animal do you think is faster?” Aelin asks no one in particular as she joins the rest of the house. The inner circle look to her as you decent the balcony and give your body a quick shake as you prepare to shift. A bright light engulfs the garden again as your body bends and transforms into a black panther, your sleek body and coat shine in the sun, you move your paws along the grass feeling the earth beneath you.

Looking over your shoulder your eyes meet Azriels who stares in disbelief, but in this moment you don’t care about anything but the primal call in your heart. The call to run, to hunt, to stalk. The hawk swoops from above you, its sharp talons clipping your ear warning a growl from deep in your feline belly. As the hawk shrills in warning you take off, running away from the townhouse and down the streets of velaris.

A/n: sorry If this chapter seemed super jumpy, I wanted to give more back story to Azriel and y/n while also capturing Aelin and Rowans discomfort. I hope you liked it!!

#a court of thorns and roses #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azriel x reader #fenrys imagine #fenrys tog #feyre archeron #throne of glass fenrys #fenrys x reader #aelin galathynius #aelin #rowan whitethorn #rhysand #cassian #throne of glass #tog

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rizzoreads88 · 3 months ago

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✨You can love Elain AND Gwyn…

You can love Azriel AND Lucien…

You can love Nesta AND Feyre…

You can love Tamlin AND Rhysand…

You can love Chaol AND Rowan…

You can love Aelin AND Manon…

You can Love Cassian AND Eris

You can love whoever AND whoever else…✨

Everyone is going to like/dislike different characters and that’s ok too but I constantly see a lot of people pit other characters against each other and for the life of me I don’t know why.

Every single one of SJMs character has their good/bad qualities and moments.(except the actual villains). They are all flawed and relatable in different areas.

#acotar #sarah j maas #throne of glass #this fandom is wild

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theladyofbloodshed · 5 months ago

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I’m going to be a little controversial under the cut

Sjm meeting her husband on her first day of college and only loving one man since she was 18 is very evident in her writing. I don’t meant to say it’s a bad thing to only have one relationship, but she writes all previous relationships of her characters as meaningless compared to the current one.

Any previous crushes/relationships of her characters were shallow. Whilst they may have felt like something at the time, in hindsight they pale in comparison to the Great Love. Or she writes them as being wrong, wrong, wrong and has to tarnish it in some way to make the Great Love seem better.

Rowan wanted to marry Lyria and was expecting a child with her then sjm retconned it to be a false bond to manipulate him and has Aelin be the much greater love, disregarding the past. He loved her so much he was going to have a baby with her.

Sam becomes just a memory of a teenage crush because he can’t compare to Rowan for Aelin as they’re mates.

Sorcha is just a servant who Dorian had fleeting feelings for despite her losing her head for getting close to the prince when he was lonely.

Isaac Hale is just a boring tumble in the hay - and not the boy who Feyre shared her worries with and he cared enough to buy the contraceptive tea because she couldn’t afford it.

Tamlin was a walking red flag and Rhys can love her so much better despite the months they spent together happy and falling in love.

Graysen and his father swap roles so the former can bash Elain and treat her cruelly while even his father looks shocked.

Jesminda is murdered but she was just a lesser fae and clearly will matter less to Lucien than his mate.

Shahar gave Hunt an opportunity to be something great then its revealed she just used him for his power and didn’t love him to the same depth - not in the way Bryce can.

It is so odd that she cannot write a couple who realise that they’re not each other’s endgame. She could have written that Feyre and Tamlin struggled greatly after the war and realised that the curse had forced them together but their romance dried up, no hard feelings.

Rowan could have been Lyria’s mate and still loved Aelin just as much 200 years later. Graysen could have said to Elain that he loved her still but could not be a fae rather than insult her.

People can love many times in their life. Just because they don’t end up together forever, it doesn’t mean a relationship didn’t matter.

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throneofsapphics · 4 months ago

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one more for the party

Aelins Court x f!Reader (mostly fenrys, rowan, aelin, and a bit of Lysandra)

Summary: you're invited to one of Aelin and Rowan's special parties

Warnings: smut, dvp, orgy

Word Count: 1332

A/N: happy kinktober everyone! here's the first of my kinktober shorts. if anyone would like to be added to the kinktober taglist, please let me know!

kinktober masterlist

How in the Gods did you end up here?

That really was the question of the age. As a friend of Aedion’s, the King and Queen had taken a special interest in you, for months, unknown to you. You’d just assumed they were being friendly.

Of course, their friendship was a given and if you’d desired nothing past that they would have accepted it, but you were glad there was even an option for something past that. This was something you never could’ve imagined.

“Is it your first time at one of these?” Lysandra purred, running her hand down your arm. You turned to fix your eyes on the beauty, biting down on your bottom lip and nodding. She pried your lip away from your teeth with her thumb, running her finger across your bottom lip. “You’re quite the catch,” she winked and stood, extending her hand towards you. “Let me help,” she offered.

Help? Perhaps help smooth things over, make it a tad less awkward for you.

You took her hand, one of the easiest decisions of the night.

The room quieted as you stood, as Lysandra’s hands tugged at the thin straps on your shoulders, slowly lowering the fabric to expose you to the room, inch by inch.

As all of their attention slowly fixed on you, you felt yourself grow bolder inside, more sure and certain that you could do this. The attention, especially from such an attractive room of individuals, was captivating.

Aelin beckoned you forward, a Queen summoning a subject, when your dress hit the floor, soft fabric pooling around your feet. There was a slightly impatient lilt to her eyes that thrilled you.

“Go on,” Lysandra encouraged you. You sent a sheepish and thankful smile over your shoulder, you hadn’t realized you’d been stuck standing still. She gently pressed between your shoulder blades and you began moving.

Soft carpet caressed your feet, cushioning every step to be as light as any Fae warriors. It was ages and eternity before you finally arrived in front of Aelin, who stood as you approached.

“Hello lovely,” she murmured, sweeping your hair away from your face, “we’ve been hoping you’d show up at one of these for a while.”

“I don’t know why I waited.”

Your answer earned you a grin of approval, and she gripped your chin between her thumb and forefinger, tilting head slightly as she brushed her lips against yours, the barest hint of a kiss, before trailing across your skin, leaving burning embers and flushed flesh in her wake.

Her lips hovered what must be a hairsbreadth from your ear, “I’d like to see you with Rowan and Fenrys. If you’re agreeable.” Oh you were agreeable. You nodded. She tutted. “I need to hear you say yes,”

“Yes,” you said, right on beat.

Aelin drew back and let out a low whistle.

You bit back a chuckle, especially as Fenrys grumbled, “I’m not a dog.”

You caught Rowan sending him a side-ways are you sure about that glance, and dodging the other male’s elbow.

Not giving you too much time to overthink, they each bracketed you, hands running up and down your abdomen, thighs, sides of your breasts, shoulders, touching each bit of you they could reasonably reach with a painful gentleness. Touches grew firmer, longer, rougher, breaths grew shorter, turned into pants.

“Can you take both of us, beautiful?” Rowan asked, kissing the space below your ear.

You nodded eagerly, adding a breath ‘yes’.

From the corner of your eye, you spotted Lysandra and Lorcan, Elide and Aedion coupled off, side by side.

“Focus on us, I know they’re very pretty,” Fenrys chided, his mouth turned up at the corners, the beginning of a smirk. Aedion caught your eye and winked before refocusing on the small female on her knees in front of him.

Fenrys walked backwards, tugging you with him until his knees hit the edge of the bed, letting you crawl on top of him, bodies sharing heat, skin lighting on fire where it met. Your lips gently sucked and nipped their way down his neck, small groans leaving his lips. The sound was music to your ears.

He ran his hands up and down your sides, as if he was drinking in the feel of you, soaking up every bit of you he could get.

You felt... fuck, Rowan was big, bigger than you expected against your back.

“We’ll make it fit,” you heard him behind you, a hint of amusement in his tone. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud. You told him as much.

“You didn’t, he’s just arrogant,” Fenrys said, before recapturing your attention with his mouth, lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and scraping lightly with his teeth.

He was good. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You were sandwiched between two people who knew exactly what they were doing. You arched away from him as Rowan’s fingers grazed over the bundle of nerves between your thighs, hitting another pleasure center.

Fenrys’s hands gently but firmly gripped your hips, sliding you up far enough to hover over him, pressing against your entrance.

Too slowly, he lowered you onto himself, eyes daring you to complain. You took it as a challenge, using the muscles in your legs to slow it even further, squeezing in a way you knew would drive him wild. Sure enough, a hiss left his lips and you hid your smirk.

“Clever witch,” he groaned, before tangling one hand in the back of your hair, the other braced against your hip as he slammed himself home.

You gasped, breath catching, trying to imagine fitting another inside of you. It wasn’t possible. Couldn’t be.

But ... as Fenrys began to move, as you gave yourself over to the feeling you felt a greedy little thing inside of you rise, wanting more, knowing more was available.

“Hold,” you heard the command in Aelin’s tone and Fenrys paused. Practiced almost. They’d had a plan, you realized.

The Queen, your Queen approached you from the side, her eyes darting frequently to your lips. You imagined how hers would feel. Would they be soft? Would she be firm or gentle? Full of passion or caution?

You didn’t have to imagine for long.

Pure passion.

As she was captivating you, you felt another pressure between your legs. A hand, fingers sliding inside of you, stretching you. You winced.

Aelin didn’t miss a thing and pulled back slightly. “You’re doing wonderful, beautiful,” the praise lit something inside of you, soothed a bit of the pain you were feeling down there. If your Queen was telling you that, surely you had to believe it, it had to be the truth.

Another finger was pressed inside of you. Discomfort, but not quite pain.

Aelin caught your attention again. You felt Fenrys’s hair brush against your shoulder, his teeth nipping at your neck.

Someone else was running fingers through your hair. Lysandra. Purring words of comfort into your ear, telling you how fucking incredible you looked right now.

Confidence filled you with her words, with all of their words.

When Rowan's cock finally notched against your entrance, he murmured, “the first bit is the worst,” and didn’t give you more time to think.

Mouth parted in a silent scream, your head dropped forward against Fenrys’s shoulder.

Their arms tightened around you holding you perfectly still.

“Can I move?” You heard the barely controlled restraint in Rowan’s voice.

“Yes,” you managed to say.

“Deep breaths,” Fenrys said as the other male pushed.

It burnt. It stung. Gods, it fucking hurt more than his fingers possibly could. But with the pain came that beautiful edge of pleasure you were able to ride.

That pain slowly ebbed away as he inched inside of you, as Fenrys moved, as Aelin’s fingers toyed with your nipples while they could, before the two males really started moving in unison and she retreated to watch.

The three of you certainly put on a show that night.

kin ktobertaglist: @fourthwing4ever @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @lilah-asteria @nestaismommy @erencvlt @daycourtofficial @emidpsandia @thelov3lybookworm @hannzoaks @callsigns-haze

general taglist: @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @nestaismommy @erencvlt @book-obsessed124 @callsigns-haze @littlest-w01f

#kinktober 2024 #throne of glass kinktober #aelin galathynius x reader #fenrys moonbeam x reader #rowan whitethorn x reader #lysandra ennar x reader #kinktober

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leiawritesstories · 28 days ago

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I Won't Call It Love, Part 1

hi @shyvioletcat!!! happy rowaelin yulemas!!! you love baby fics and idiots to lovers so...here's both of those tropes! This is part 1 of probably 2 parts :))

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: NSFW, swearing, reference to infertility, pregnancy

Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey.” Tucked into Rowan’s side, snug under the blankets that spilled out of the hammock, Aelin tipped her face up, catching her boyfriend’s eyes. Boyfriend. Gods, it still made her giddy to call him that, the title they’d settled on so recently.

“Hey.” Beneath the blankets, his hand slid lazily from her waist down to her hip, fingertips just barely grazing the dip of her spine. “What's up?”

She let out a soft sigh and curled closer into his warmth, watching the embers of the campfire flicker out. “I like this.”

“Me too.” He grinned at her, a flash of wickedness edging his expression, and tugged her more solidly onto his lap. “I like it a whole lot.”

“You’re a bad, bad boy, Rowan Whitethorn,” she teased, arching her hips ever so slightly into the thickness she felt pressing up into her from below. “I thought we agreed to keep this casual.”

His hand on her back grew heavy, and he pressed her hips into his in a slow, languid roll. “Does keeping it casual mean I can’t touch you like this, Ae?” He dipped his head, breathed a feather-soft kiss behind her ear. “Do you want me to stop?”

“I…no,” she managed to gasp, lost already in the feel of his hands on her skin. She’d had dreams like this for years. “We talked about that, Ro.” The teasing lilt returned to her tone, and she sat up enough to playfully flick his nose. “We’re casual, but we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, and as long as we’re together, we’re only with each other.” A brief, haunted spark danced through her eyes, gone as soon as it appeared. “And if we decide this doesn’t work, then we go back to being friends. Right?”

“Right.” He tugged her slowly back down against him. “But you didn’t answer my question, Ae. Do you want me to stop?” Her hips nestled into his once again, and she barely suppressed the moan that sprang up her throat at the feel of his cock pressing into her.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered. “I—mmh, Rowan.” Her thoughts garbled into nonsense. She’d buried her feelings long enough.

He smirked into her neck, his lips brushing the sensitive skin there. “Whatever you say, princess.”

A moment of clarity broke through her lust-clouded thoughts. “Ro, I—mmh—we’re in a hammock, buzzard. This definitely isn’t stable enough.” She sucked in a jagged breath, let one hand drag down his side and dip into the waistband of his sweatpants. “Not for the things I want you to do to me.”

“Fuck, Aelin,” he groaned, catching her wrist before she could warp her fingers around his dick. In one smooth roll, he was out of the hammock, and he hoisted her into his arms without effort. “And what kind of things…are those, hmm?”

She looped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips up against his ear as he kicked open the door to the cabin. “Filthy things.”

“Good girl,” he rasped out, lengthening his strides and crossing the small, open-concept cabin in barely three steps and splaying her out on the bed.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, Ro,” she teased, sitting up so she could kick off her shoes and pants. Before she could roll her sweats off her legs, he stopped her, heat burning in his eyes. “Having second thoughts?”

“Hardly.” He threw his sweatshirt across the cabin floor, his shoes following. “I want to do it.”

She raised a brow. “That’s the whole point, buzzard.”

“Not like that,” he huffed, catching the mirth in her eyes. “Like this.” He skated his warm hands up her sides, tugging her sweatshirt up as he went. And he stopped short, sucking in a gasp and staring at her breasts.

Her bare breasts.

“What?” She shrugged irreverently. “I don’t like wearing a bra when I’m in my comfy clothes.” With a wink, she added, “And I might have had a plan for this little trip.”

“Did you, now?” His eyes dilated into darkness as he tugged her sweatshirt off and threw it across the floor, then hooked his fingers into the waistband of her pants. “What kind of plan, love?”

“This kind.” She smirked, then gasped as he dipped his hand between her thighs, his thumb finding her clit with remarkable speed even through her little scrap of lacy panties. “Yes, Rowan. Yes.”

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, and tugged her sweats off with one hand while the other continued to draw lazy circles over her clit.

She groaned his name and wrapped one hand around his wrist, leading his fingertips inside her panties. He caught her gaze, a question written in his look, and she nodded her confirmation as she reached up to kiss him. Rowan braced himself on his free arm and kissed her slowly, his tongue tangling lazily with hers, and she sighed into the kiss as her body melted into the mattress beneath the hard press of his. Unbidden, his fingers curled against her pussy, and she nodded breathlessly, her hips shifting against him.

“Show me what you like, Ae,” he breathed, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties and sliding them off of her.

“That might be the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me,” she chuckled. Her humor rapidly gave way to a moan as she trailed her fingers down her body, curling around her sensitive nipples and drifting to her wet pussy. She traced patterns on her clit with one hand and let the other slip down, dipping two fingers into herself and watching Rowan’s cock strain through his boxers as he watched her fingers sink effortlessly into her cunt. “Like this,” she managed to say, moving her fingers at an increasing pace, twisting and curling them inside herself.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, and he pulled her fingers out of her pussy and replaced them with his thicker ones. He licked her wet fingers, his eyes rolling at her taste, and curled his fingers upward, matching the rhythm of her fingers on her clit.

“Fuck me,” she moaned, rocking her hips into his touch. “Can I?” Her free hand reached towards his cock, and he nodded as he slipped a third finger into her cunt.

“Yes.”

“Oh…fuck,” she gasped, going speechless at the sight of his dick. She pushed his boxers off completely and traced a soft touch up the underside of his thick, hard cock, making him grunt and jerk towards her touch. “Are we…?”

“Don’t worry.” His fingers hit a spot that had her seeing stars, and she gasped his name. “That’s right, love, tell me who’s making you feel like this.” She wrapped her fist around his dick and stroked, and he tipped his head back and groaned. “So good, love. Yes. It’s gonna fit.”

She looked like she was about to protest, so he swallowed her next words with his tongue in her mouth and curled his fingers, and a tremor rocked her body. “I…Rowan, I’m…”

“Come for me, love,” he whispered into her neck, and she clenched around his fingers and did just that. He worked her through it, stopping to catch her hand and lift it from his cock. “Fuck, Ae, if you keep that up I won’t last thirty seconds.”

She laughed quietly, still catching her breath from the orgasm. “Ah, Ro, I think you have better stamina than that.”

“Damn right I do, Ae.” He kissed her softly and cupped her tits in his hands, the calluses on his fingers scraping gently against the delicate skin. She moaned, her body writhing against his, and he smirked. “Ready?”

“For you?” Her smile went soft. “Yeah. I’ve been ready for a long time.”

“Fuck, Fireheart.” His thumb skated up the curve of her cheek. “I think I’ve had dreams where you said that to me.” He notched his hips into hers, his dick nestling against her slick pussy. “I—wait! Fuck. Condom?”

A shade of sorrow passed through her eyes. “It’s fine, Ro. I’ve pretty much been told that I can’t get pregnant.”

“Aelin,” he whispered. “I��m sorry, love.”

She shook her head. “It’s alright, Rowan. There’s lots of ways to have a family.” As she said that, his dick nudged her cunt, and she chuckled. “Someone’s eager.”

“Fucking right, someone’s eager,” he returned. She guided his dick to her entrance, and he rolled his hips, slowly fitting himself inside her. “Gods.”

“Fuck,” she gasped, breathless at the sensation. “So full.”

He groaned, a garbled rendition of her name, and at her nod, started to move. He drove his hips into hers, once, twice, and…well. “Fucking gods, Ae!” He cried out her name and came inside of her after less than a minute.

Silence stretched between them.

Then Aelin turned her head sideways on the pillows and burst out laughing, Rowan’s dick still inside of her. “Oh gods,” she gasped through her laughter. “When I said I wanted you to do filthy things with me, love, I didn’t mean for you to two-pump chump it.”

Rowan blushed scarlet, but a chuckle escaped him despite his efforts. “I’m never like this,” he groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “Fuck me.”

Aelin chuckled and pushed herself up to kiss him. “There’s more than one way to make a woman orgasm, as you know.” She winked wickedly at him. “Lucky for you, I brought a battery-powered boyfriend.”

“You really did have plans, didn’t you?” He finally pulled out, and he reached over and picked up her toy from the nightstand.

“I did indeed.” She let her legs splay apart. “You gonna just make me lay here?”

“I could.” He smirked. “But I won’t. C’mere, gorgeous.”

The late-September breeze raised a soft pink on Aelin’s cheeks, but it wasn’t cold enough for her to start wearing a jacket yet. The bells on the coffee shop’s door tinkled as she swept in, waved at Elide behind the bar, and headed towards her and Lysandra’s usual table.

“You’re late, babe,” Lys said, raising a perfectly threaded brow. “Did that man of yours keep you up late?”

“You’re the worst,” Aelin grumbled, gratefully taking a sip of the latte in front of her. “I walked here from the office, you know.”

Lys snickered. “I’m just giving you shit, Ae. But I do want to know.” She widened her green eyes and propped her chin on her hands. “Because if he hurts you, I’ll rip his dick off.”

“That’s graphic,” Aelin drawled. “And we’re…” She trailed off, a glow that had nothing to do with the fall air brightening her face. “We’re great. I won't say it yet, but I think I’m in love.”

Lysandra cheered. “Atta girl! Give me all the dirty details.”

“Freak,” Aelin laughed. “I can’t stay, Lys. I have my appointment in half an hour.”

“Damn,” her best friend sighed. “Fine. We’ll go for drinks later, then?”

“Absolutely.” Aelin picked up her coffee and waved. “I wouldn’t miss Tuesday girls’ night for the world.”

“See you then!” Lys waved as Aelin left the coffee shop.

Aelin went back out to her car, parked a few blocks away. She had yearly appointments with her gynecologist, and she was used to them by now. She’d been seeing Dr. Towers for a good five years, since she was diagnosed with adenomyosis at twenty, and she was glad to have the reassurance of her doctor, even if her condition was a heavy one.

She arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes later, checked in, and waited for a while before the nurse came out and called her name. Aelin followed her back into the exam room, and she set down her bag and went to the restroom. The nurse handed her a small sample cup.

“You know the drill,” she said with a little smile.

Aelin smiled back. “Yep, I’ve been here enough times.” Pregnancy screening was a normal part of every appointment. It had never meant much to her—it still didn’t, not when she and Rowan were only a few months into an official relationship. She took care of things quickly and went back into the exam room, where the nurse took her vitals and went over a few things with her before Dr. Towers came in.

“Hi, Aelin.” The doctor’s usual gentle smile was absent.

Aelin’s brows furrowed. “Is something wrong?”

At that, Dr. Towers broke into a beam. “Not at all.” She set down her laptop and took a pregnancy test out of her pocket.

A very positive pregnancy test.

“You’re pregnant, Aelin.”

The world went silent.

“Th—that’s not possible,” Aelin whispered. She tucked her shaking hands under her legs to hide them from view. “I…are you sure?”

Dr. Towers nodded, holding out the test. “I’m very sure, Aelin.” Sympathy warmed her expression. “Would you like to discuss your options, or do you want to have some time to process? We can schedule another appointment in a week or so if you need some time.” “I think I want some time.” Aelin’s mind began to settle, the one thing that she could fully grasp being Rowan. I need to tell Rowan.

~~~

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sparrowinthewater · 1 year ago

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This has probably been pointed out before but i’d like to reiterate it 😀

Regarding Azriel’s ‘unbothered’ reaction towards finding out that Gwyn got thrown into the Blood Rite….. Can we just agree that Cassian was not a reliable narrator at that particular point of time?

When the IC gathered at Emerie’s wrecked place:

Cassian couldn’t breathe. Hadn’t been able to breathe or speak for long minutes now….

They were speaking, Azriel with some urgency, but Cassian didnt hear him, heard nothing but the roaring in his head…

And he could do nothing to interfere, not without damning them all. His hands shook. “So, what- we just sit on our asses for a week and wait?” The idea was abhorrent. Feyre gripped his trembling fingers, squeezing tight. “Did you- Cassian, weren’t you listening at all when we got here?” No, he’d barely heard anything.

Cassian was distraught and in his fucking head at that point of time, bro was STRESSED. Do you think he actually has the mental capacity to take notice of the others’ reactions? I actually felt it was pretty deliberate of Sarah to leave out Azriel’s reactions. Even when Cassian said to Rhys “Winnow me to her. Az, you find Emerie and Gwyn.”, Sarah did not give us anything regarding Azriel’s facial expression, his body language, na-da. Because it would have been a delicate thing to write without giving much away.

And after having a few days to calm the storm in his head, Cassian says to Azriel amidst their spy work, “There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her, to Emerie and Gwyn”, Cassian actually took noticed that the shadows deepened around Azriel, his siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. And Azriel, the big bad scary shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court actually stutters with his response: “You-we-trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”

In addition, there’s just a distinct way that Sarah loves to use when writing about her mates: The male never coddles the female. Rhys had faith in Feyre’s abilities when they were under the mountain. And when she joined the IC, he lets her manifest her abilities without worrying and cooing over her. Rowan was so damn strict on Aelin’s training in Heir of Fire, never pulling his punches when they fought with each other. And despite his initial strong protective reaction, Cassian decides to trust Nesta’s abilities to protect herself in the rite after his emotions settle down.

This is exactly why I don’t think the lack of notable reactions that Azriel displayed towards Gwyn being thrown into the rite translate to that he doesn’t care about her or that they are not mates.

*mic drops*

#acosf #acotar #azriel #gwyneth berdara #gwynriel #azriel shadowsinger #gwyn and azriel #gwyn berdara

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merymoonbeam · 5 months ago

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A voice in the void, a secret and a quiet dreamer

Rowaelin:

"But I sent you to Wendlyn for the healing. And so you would ... find him. The one who had been waiting so long for you." Aelin's heart cracked. "Rowan." Elena nodded. "He was a voice in the void, a secret, silent dreamer. And so were his companions. But the Fae Prince, he was..." Aelin reined in her sob. "I know. I've known for a long time." "I wanted you to know that joy, too," Elena whispered. "How- ever briefly." “I did,” Aelin managed to say. “Thank you.

And we have Elriel:

The golden necklace seemed ordinary -- its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

She arched a brow. He explained, “They pull people together. And bring them joy. They are a time to pause and reflect and gather, and those are never bad things.” Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers. Azriel’s face remained neutral.

And I will explain the "a voice in the void" part.

Elain was lost to the murky realm after the cauldron and being made. We now know it is because she was a seer.

Azriel had been the one who "freed" her from that murky realm.

But more importantly...before she was even freed from that murky realm, Azriel had focused her in a way if you look at these two scenes:

Rhys gave her a sharp look. But Elain said quietly, “The queen might come.” Silence. Elain was staring at the unlit fireplace, eyes lost to that vague murkiness. “What queen,” Nesta said, more tightly than she usually spoke to our sister. “The one who was cursed.” “Cursed by the Cauldron,” I clarified to Nesta, pushing off the archway. “When it threw its tantrum after you … left.” “No.” Elain studied me, then her. “Not that one. The other.” Nesta took a steadying breath, opening her mouth to either whisk Elain upstairs or move on. But Azriel asked softly, taking a single step over the threshold and into the sitting room, “What other?” Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. “The queen—with the feathers of flame.” The shadowsinger angled his head. Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?” “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

Let alone this is the "you are a seer" scene which freed elain from the murky realm. The "unblinking" part is quiet important. Whenever Elain has a vision or talks in riddles she is blinking rabidly. A few examples...

So as you can see...she is looking at Azriel "unblinkingly"

Another scene is this:

But Elain shook me off, heading back to the stairs. She said as she climbed the first steps, “I can hear her—crying.” I gripped the bottom post of the banister. “Who?” “Everyone thinks she’s dead.” Elain kept walking. “But she’s not. Only—different. Changed. As I was.” “Who,” I pushed. But Elain continued up the stairs, that shawl drooping down her back. Nesta stalked from Cassian’s side to approach my own. We both sucked in a breath, to say what, I didn’t know but— “What did you see,” Azriel said, and I tried not to flinch as I found him at my other side, not having seen him move. Again. Elain paused halfway up the stairs. Slowly, she turned to look back at him. “I saw young hands wither with age. I saw a box of black stone. I saw a feather of fire land on snow and melt it.”

Feyre asks and asks...nothing. Azriel asks and she stops to look back at him.

And this whole parallel hits even harder when you think about how Rowan had a mate...but it was fake and there are MANY parallels with elriel and rowaelin. Such as these BANGERS.

So yeah...I think this is my top parallel find. I'm retiring. I cant top this.

#elriel #parallels #I really outdid myself with this one

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mariaofdoranelle · 6 months ago

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Maria plz bring back the booty call i need it to continue

Your wish is my command, Nonnie! <33

The Booty-Call Dare - part 3

Written for @throneofglassmicrofics, July prompt “Healing”

Part 1 | Part 2

Warnings: idiots idioting

Words: 1064 (sorry!!!!)

The decision to put Rowan’s key in separate keychains from her car and apartment was much more emotional than logistical, Aelin thought as she searched the bottom of her big work purse at his apartment door.

Having Rowan’s key was okay, a rational decision, but having it along with her own felt like too much. Looking after him while he healed from two broken ribs was inevitable—Aelin had work most of the day, but she was still the person he was closest with in town—this wasn’t what she was confused about.

She knocked on the door before opening it to make her presence known, just to be sure.

“Over here,” he called from the kitchen.

Aelin thought she loved that pre-hookup anticipation, but that hour of wait became a whole week, two more to come—the situation brought a queasy feeling in her stomach, always skipping between overjoyed and terrified.

In the kitchen, Aelin found her friend in a clumsy attempt to clean a white powder off the floor with a broom, an open jar of creatinine on the counter before him.

“Rowan Whitethorn,” Aelin said slowly, in a low but chastising tone. “You’re not allowed anywhere near a broom… or the gym!”

“I’m not! I—“ Rowan paused under her pointed look, busted between a broom and gym supplements. He sighed. “Have I told you how much I hate this?”

Aelin came closer to hug him, and decided to give him a leap of faith—he’d mentioned before taking creatinine even on his days off the gym, and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to exercise with two broken ribs. These days of rest were taking a toll on him, she knew for a fact that Rowan hated feeling useless.

She pecked his lips. “My poor baby.” A few strokes on his cheek as Aelin struggled not to laugh. “Is all this rest stressing you out?”

“Not funny,” Rowan grumbled. Still, he leaned in to give her a warm kiss, biting her lips. “But I like this.”

“You like what?”

“When you call me ‘baby.’”

Shit. Those butterflies again.

Pesticides. Fly swatters. Nets. She needed to kill those butterflies because being with Rowan romantically, much like their friendship, felt too easy, too safe—too dangerous, risking the fall when their booty-call was fulfilled and she was left with nothing.

It was supposed to be a no-strings-attached hookup, and now they’ve been chastely canoodling for a week. It was the longest she’s ever waited before having sex with someone—this was an okay time, but they’ve been seeing each other daily, and Aelin never waited seven dates to sleep with a guy.

Does it count as a date if you’re dining together and kissing while waiting to fulfill a no-strings-attached booty-call?

“I’ll call you that again…” Aelin slid her hands from his head to his shoulders. “If you let me clean this mess. And wash your hair.”

Aelin didn’t miss the slightly greasy aspect of it, or the reason for it—his arm movements being limited due to the fracture.

Rowan ducked his head, his cheeks gained an adorable reddish color. When she looked at him, all thoughts and doubts that were floating around her like dust settled back down, and she only had half a mind to worry—Rowan was either kissing her thoughts away or driving her insane with his stubbornness.

Rowan opened his mouth to argue, but experience stopped him.

He doesn’t want to “take advantage” of her help.

She’s doing it whether he likes it or not.

They’ve had this conversation many times, in many ways this week.

To soften the blow to his feeling worthless, Aelin pressed their foreheads together and said in a sultry tone, “Wait for me in the tub, will ya?”

Rowan looked down at his torso and let out a pained breath. “Just so you know, this is not how I pictured you and me in the tub for the first time.”

Aelin chuckled and kissed his cheek before shipping him off to the bathroom. The creatinine mess was quick to clean, but she stayed a bit longer to assess things. His house was suspiciously clean. Too clean for someone who wasn’t supposed to do most house chores.

At the bathroom, she found him already dunked in water, patiently waiting. Aelin sat at the head of the tub and grabbed the bottle he’d strategically placed close to her: 2 in 1: shampoo & conditioner, the bottle said, before a huge picture of a pine tree. A huge upgrade from his ‘one soap for everything’ system.

“Very high-end stuff. Are you opening a hair salon, Buzzard?”

“I’ve got this little tuft now.” Rowan pointed at the short strands on the top of his head. “Gotta take care of it.”

Aelin had barely begun to massage his scalp when his eyes fell blissful closed, a serene, close-lipped smile on his lips.

“You’re no better than a house cat,” she said, massaging his head. He let out a low noise in his throat that might very well have been a purr.

It happens in moments like this, when Aelin looks at him and his mere existence sends her dangerous thoughts like Oh my God, I think I like you. It wouldn’t be a problem, as long as she found metaphorical pesticides to kill the butterflies soon.

Fingers in his hair, she leaned down to peer at his face. “Is this when you assume you’re better off telling me if you can’t do something?”

However, Rowan took advantage of their proximity to tug her face closer for a messy kiss. The position was a little awkward at first, but it got better when Aelin moved to his side, sitting on the edge of the tub.

Rowan’s kiss was slow, he hungrily explored her mouth with a rough touch on her hips. The fire he ignited under her skin made her melt into a needy puddle under his touch. Aelin kissed and nipped the skin of his neck, then went back to his mouth, pressing herself against him. It was only when they broke the kiss that she realized his wet body dampened her white shirt, making it near transparent—

“Fuck,” Rowan muttered under his breath, eyes on her torso before he sneaked his hands under Aelin’s shirt, one hand holding her waist and the other teasing her breast through the lace bra.

She moaned into the kiss and leaned closer to Rowan, but that single movement made her lose her balance; in the next moment, Aelin had fallen into the bathtub.

If she and Rowan couldn’t keep it together, the cold water did the trick and tampered the mood, Aelin realized as she laughed it off.

Rowan tugged her closer for a cuddle and kissed the top of her head, knowing they’d just found themselves on the verge of a forbidden strenuous activity.

One week down, two more to go. Aelin would never admit that the wait wasn’t so bad.

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acourtofquestions · 7 months ago

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"Aelin is my heart."

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 3 months ago

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hi! just saw your recent fenrys post and was inspired! i was wondering if you’d be willing to do another fenrys x reader with the prompt “i was so worried. it was killing me not being able to reach out and touch you.” ? where maybe they met a few years before the war and ended up finding out they were mates but agreed to keep distance to keep each other safe? and the readers part of aelins crew and they reunite?

Little light

To the furthest parts of himself, Fenrys had to push you. Dimming all the memories you two shared. All the love he felt. Sniffing out the smallest of embers of your bond. He won’t lose you. Won’t hold your dead body. Won’t let you meet the end Rowan's mate had met. You were no one to him. You meant nothing. He didn’t think of you. He didn’t breathe for you.

While this couldn’t be further away from the truth. It felt as if someone was burning him alive. Ripping him to pieces. There were moments when he would stop, bending over as he growled in agony. “Be okay”, he would mutter under his breath, “Please be okay, my little light”. Pulling himself back up as he slowly bled inside. Slowly became a shell of himself.

When the war broke out all Fenrys wanted was to go find you instead of joining his brothers on the battlefield. That inner battle he faced seemed never-ending. He knew that he owed it to his cadre, to be there, to support them, to fight alongside them, but his heart was finally free to go to you. “I want to hold it against you”, Rowan had stated one night, “now that you told me, I can ask you to stay”. It was the side of Rowan with Aelin's thar had sent the floodgates open that had made Fenrys finally admit that he wasn’t a young and wild boy still chasing his dreams. He was a mated man. He was with someone, not just a lonely soul, still searching for its purpose. “Let’s have that meeting first”, Fenrys clapped Rowen on the shoulder, “Then I will make my choice”.

The truth was that he felt guilty, about bringing the war to your doorstep. So part of him screamed to fight, to kill every single leach, and then return to you. Because you deserved calmness, you deserved a safe world and Fenrys wanted to give that to you.

It’s the scent that flooded him even before the wooden door creaked open. As if someone had pushed his head underwater, as the last seven minutes of his life flashed in front of his eyes. In walked Aelin and then… “No”, Fenrys breathed, “No”. Your eyes snapped to him as a gasp filled your lungs. “Fen…”, you muttered. “My light”, he crocked out, killing the distance between you two in a couple of steps. Eager hands searched all over your body. As if you weren’t here. As if you were a blip of his imagination.

“My wolf”, you choked out, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pressed into him. “You’re here… you’re here”, he cried quietly, wrapping his arms around you. He let go now. Tearing through the walls he had built. Reaching out to you through his heart. Trying to fight for that desperate fluttering thread.

“I was so worried”, he breathed, cupping your face in his hands, “it was killing me not being able to reach out and touch you”. You smiled up at him through your teary eyes, “I was looking for you ever since you left”, you admitted, leaning your forehead against his. “You found me, my light”, he muttered, “Mother herself brought you back to me”.

#fenrys moonbeam imagine #fenrys moonbeam x reader #fenrys moonbeam #fenrys x you #fenrys tog imagine #fenrys tog x reader #fenrys x reader #tog imagine #tog x reader #tog x you #throne of goass imagine #throne of glass x reader

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lovemyromance · 4 months ago

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So do you think Azriel & Elain are mates or not? You said before you want them to choose each other but kep sying theyre mates ?

Personally: I want them to choose each other over a mating bond. I want Elain to chose love over a mating bond. I want her to pick him, choose him, love him.

Azriel, in Elain's book:

But, that being said...

I think SJM will be unable to resist making Elain & Azriel also mates. Whether that means the mating bond with Lucien is fake (a la Rowan/Aelin), or that Elain has two mating bonds because she was the cauldron's favorite (I lean more towards this theory actually), idk.

Azriel has shown a lot of protectiveness and clear desire for Elain. It's definitely romantic interest, and some might even categorize it as mate behavior. Like if Lucien had never announced the mating bond, I would 100% say Azriel is her mate because he's shown way more "mate behavior" towards Elain. Like the fact that he was drawn to Elain as early as ACOMAF, that he seemed to anticipate her needs best in ACOWAR, discovered her powers, noticed she was missing and rescued her from Hybern, TT, and the clear protectiveness and desire for her in ACOFAS & ACOSF...there's more than enough to say he exhibits mate behavior towards her. The fact that he can also smell the Elucien bond, and can't stand it - that is also weird. When has anyone been able to smell an unaccepted mating bond - other than Amren (When she had her full powers)? It seems so so odd.

It's also kinda sus to me that out of all of SJM's fated mate pairings, Elucien is the only pair of mates where the bond was revealed immediately and not after the female had enough time to actually fall for the MMC naturally......

So, while I would like Elain & Azriel to choose each other over a mating bond, I think because this is SJM she's going to throw in a twist that reveals them to have been mates this entire time.

#elriel #acotar #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel #pro elain #elain #antielucien #pro elriel #antigwynriel

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moonlitstoriess · 6 months ago

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Across the Universe-ch.16 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

Unsatisfied and frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how she was feeling at the moment. After Eva called her down, Fenrys and Y/n waited until she was gone before adjusting their appearances and leaving her room together. Of course, throughout their little journey towards the sitting room, they could only steal glances at each other because there were servants all around them.

And it was killing her. It was killing her how she couldn't just drag him back into the room and finish what they started but....all this lust started to disappear as soon as they entered the room and she heard the ugly voice of the Book of Breathings hissing.

They entered at the same time as Aelin and Rowan and moved towards the table around which everyone was gathered, their faces frustrated and confused. The book just wouldn't stop hissing and once she reached the table, coming to stand right beside Lysandra, y/n could finally understand what it was talking about.

"They are coming"

"For her, for her"

"They are coming for her"

"Magic is shifting"

"What in the seven hells does any of this mea-" Aedion's words cut off by Yrene shushing him, clearly telling everyone to be quite for a little more.

"They are interfering"

"Gates, shifting"

It was as if there were multiple voices, all hissing the same things at once.

Aelin looked concerned as she looked at no one in particular and asked, "I don't understand. Is it talking about the valg's coming? Because we already know that."

Yrene shook her head, "No. You're right, we do know that already so it must be saying something else. Did you hear what it said? Something about shifting magic and interference."

Elide crossed her arms, gaze still locked on the book. "Yes, but what does that mean? Who is interfering?"

Y/n took a sharp breath in before asking the book directly, "What are you talking about, exactly? Who is interfering? Is this about the valgs?"

And then the book said only two words which were more than enough to answer her questions,

"Death Incarnate."

Y/n may not be the most genius fae to ever exist, but she for sure would know that only one being across any universe has this title.

Her ex friend, her ex high lord, the one who came to her doorstep in the first place.

Rhysand.

Her gaze locked with Lucien's who, seemingly, also understood what was going on as his eyes widened.

Her body suddenly grew colder as she asked with a shaky voice, "Is-is he interfering with the gates? Is he the reason for the shift in magic or whatever? Is- are they coming?"

"Who?"

"What are you talking about, y/n?"

"Who is 'he'?"

She ignored everyone elses questions as her mind was solely focused on the book and what it would say.

"Yes. They are trying to come."

She should feel happy, hopeful. They were coming to get her and once the valgs were killed, the gates were closed, she would get to go back to her world. She should be happy. She should be grateful. But why wasn't she? All she felt was dread and anger at the prospect of having to face them as well.

"Shhh, y/n. I am here, you are safe, just relax."

It wasn't until she felt Fenrys' grounding touch and sweet whispers in her ear that she realized her whole body was shaking as her eyes were distant, ears not hearing anyone but her own thoughts.

"Someone, please get water."

Fenrys led her to the small lounge chair and sat her down as Lysandra gave the cup full of water for her but quickly changed the route and handed it to Fenrys after seeing her shaking hands. The male helped her drink it before placing the cup on a nearby table and holding her hand while caressing her back with the other hand.

Chaol looked at Lucien, "What is going on?"

The prince just sighed before replying, "Death Incarnate is the title of Rhysand. The high lord of the Night Court. And y/n was asking if it was him who was the cause for the shift in the gates, if he and the rest of his court were trying to come here and apparently, according to the book, they are."

Once Lucien's words were out, y/n felt Fenrys' whole body stiffen, his hold on her to tighten as he slowly turned his head sideways to look at her friend.

Manon looked at Lucien, her anger clearly evident in her voice as she asked, "The same court that mistreated her? That lied to her?"

"What are you talking about?" Aedion's voice was full of confusion as he looked at the witch, expecting her to reply.

Manon's gaze came to y/n, her eyes asking for permission to tell them what they need to know. She nodded her head, too tired to argue or think of anything as the witch turned back around and explained what y/n once told her, filling the ones who didn't know in on the situation back in Prythian.

Once she was done explaining, y/n could physically feel the tension in the room that could be cut with a knife.

"Oh Gods..." Aedion's mouth was hanging open as Lysandra crossed her arms, the shifters tone cool as she declared, "They are fools for coming here, then."

Rowan nodded his head. "Because we won't let them live what they did to you down."

Elide put her head on a distressed Lorcan's arm as she said, "How can you go back with them, y/n? I do hope that once you do, you will leave them immediately."

Dorian shook his head, glanced at Fenrys with a knowing look, "Whatever the case is, they are not welcome here. They are clearly not wanted by the book either because their interference is causing a shift in the magic. We have to finish this job by the day of the lunar eclipse. And if they do somehow appear, then the choice to make will be y/n's and no one elses."

Lucien sighed, coming forward and placing a comforting hand on y/n's shoulder, "They- I don't even know what happened to them. I will be honest, me and them were never truly close....we have a long and complicated history which is why they never fully liked me, especially Rhysand and Mor-"

"Who is Mor?!" Petrah's voice sounded frustrated and protective as she looked directly at Lucien from her position on the opposite couch.

The prince gave Manon's second in command a small shake of his head and said, "She is....well, let that be a story for another time because her main issue isn't even directly related to me, her issue is with my brother."

"So, she is an idiot then."

They all looked at Lorcan as Lucien coughed out an "Excuse me?!"

The tall man just shrugged his shoulders, "If she is hating on you simply for whatever your brother did, then she is a fool and so is the rest of them if they support her."

"I agree." Petrah didn't sound happy at all as she voiced her agreement.

Y/n managed to place a reassuring hand on Lucien's as the redhead said, "Well, that isn't the main point. My point is, they- I never expected them to be like that towards y/n because, after all, they knew her for so long and from what I saw, enjoyed her company extensively. They were like family. Especially Cassian, Rhysand, Mor and Amren. And then Feyre and her sisters came into the portrait and everything just went downhill from there. And Azriel-"

"Is mine."

Y/n froze.

Lucien froze.

Everyone froze.

The room went silent as all head turned to the owner of that statement.

Fenrys.

When she looked at him, y/n only saw anger, possessiveness and violence readiating of off him. His expression, his eyes and his body.

She broke the silence, speaking for the first time since sitting down. "Fenrys, what- what do you mean?"

His intense gaze landed on her as he simply said in a chilly tone, "I mean, if he dares to step here, to come within my vicinity, then he is mine. Mine to break, mine to deal with, mine to beat up and mine to destroy. You all can deal with the rest of them but I will say it now, no one touches Azriel. He is mine."

Her eyes widened as she and Lucien spoke at the same time,

"Fenrys, no. You don't- it will only bring more trouble than necessary to you."

"Rhysand is the most powerful high lord, he won't let you treat his brother like that."

"Watch me."

From the way he sounded and looked, Fenrys was not fooling around, nor was he afraid of what Lucien just revealed to him. Y/n didn't know whether to feel safe or worried.

Aelin cleared her throat, drawing all the attention to her. "Well....this is definitely a new side of Fenrys I have never seen. What about you two?" she looked between her mate and Lorcan.

The two male's exchanged knowing looks, Rowan seemingly realizing the reason for Fenrys' sudden protectiveness as he said, "Believe me fire heart, this is new for us as well."

Lorcan smirked, "Yes, very new."

Yrene's calm voice filled the room as she said, "I don't think I can keep that book in our room, it talks too much."

Aelin moved towards the object and took it, ignoring it's protests as she turned towards the doors, followed by her mate, "I am taking this to the library. I need Arthur to have a look at this thing."

As everyone slowly began to leave the room, Lucien gave her shoulder one final squeeze before moving to help a struggling Petrah up, and leaving with her still asking him, "What's that Mor's issue with you?"

"Petrah, not now."

"No! Tell me, I must know so that when I see her, I will know how to attack her."

"Are you mad?! Over my dead body will I allow you to get yourself involved in this mess."

Y/n smiled at the couple's banter as their voices slowly began fading away, leaving her and Fenrys alone in the room. She sighed but leaned her head on his chest, causing his arm to come around her waist and slowly help her get up.

Once out in the hall, she detached herself from him as they began to walk silently.

"Fenrys, you shouldn't attack Azriel if he shows up here."

"Y/n, my respect and care for you is eternal, but I will have to go against your wishes on this one because even hearing his name causes so much rage to bubble up within me. Now, imagine I get to finally see him in real life, how can I hold myself back? It's as if fate has delivered him to me on a silver platter. As if he is wishing for death by coming here."

As they began climbing up the stairs she could only manage to squeeze his arm, "Fenrys-"

"What did I tell you, y/n? That I will protect your light from any darkness that dares to approach. Azriel is that darkness and I won't hesitate to end him if he even comes into the same world as you."

They reached her room, she opened her door and turned to look at him, "Please, please, Fenrys. You may hurt yourself-"

"And what about you? You were hurt countless times by him, by his friends and by someone else whom you clearly won't tell me about but that is fine, I am willing to wait on that. Whatever the case is, you are not alone princess. Not anymore. Not as long as I live."

And with that, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and turned towards his own room, quietly saying, "Get some rest now, princess. You have had a long day."

She couldn't sleep the night away, her thoughts filled with everything that was happening around her. By the time sunrise hit, y/n was once again heading towards the training area but stopped once a thought came to her head. She turned in her path, heading towards the library, her determination growing with each step that she took.

When she reachd the large area, y/n saw a tall, frail and quite old male in robes putting books inside the shelves. When he heard her enter the room, the male turned towards her and gave y/n a small, polite smile, "Welcome, my name is Arthur and I am one of the three head protectors of this ancient library."

Y/n gave him a small smile in return and said, "Hello, Arthur. My name is Y/n and I believe queen Aelin brought a book here last night?"

The librarian nodded his head, "Oh, yes. Her majesty asked me to keep it safe and protected here so I put it under wards."

She fiddled with her fingers as she asked him, "Could I- could I please take it for a short moment? I have some questions that I believe it can answer so..."

Arthur smiled and gestured for her to follow him. "Of course, y/n. I know of you so I am aware that the book responds well to you and only you. No one else."

He brought her to a medium sized, square table. with the book in it's center, emanating magical essence from around it. Arthur said a couple of words before the room suddenly felt less heavy and suffocating. He turned towards her and said, "I removed the main wards, still keeping some precautionary ones around. Do be careful, y/n, don't stay with it for too long."

She nodded her head at him. "Believe me, I am very well aware of it. Thank you, Arthur. I only need a couple of minutes."

The male nodded and left the corner in which they were in, heading back towards the other end of the room, leaving her alone with the ancient object.

Y/n sighed before coming to stand right in front of it, steadying her voice as she spoke, "I am not scared of you anymore. You fooled me the first time by sending me here but you can't fool me this time around."

The book replied with a knowing tone, "Good, because I am not sending you anywhere anymore, Illyrian."

Realization slowly dawned upon her, "You knew, didn't you? All this time, you knew that I had a mate here. That this was where I was meant to be sent."

"I did say that you are home now when I sent you here didn't I, child?"

She sighed, "Yes, you did. And....what now? Do I just accept it because you sent me here?"

"You tell me, witch. What do you think you must do?"

"I don't know."

"My job was to only send you here. The choice to make will be yours. Elara said as much."

"Wait. My mother- you- how?"

"She managed to bypass all of the high lord's wards and contact me. Ordered me to do what I did and how could I say no to the most powerful ironteeth witch, Elara?"

Her heart warmed. Her mother, the woman whom she didn't even know of for most of her life, was the one who started it all. She smiled gently, reminiscing the mother whom she only knew for such a short time.

"I think I know my answer now."

"You do not have any more questions left in you?"

"No, I have finally understood my purpose. Goodbye."

As she turned around and left, y/n heard the book say, "Make the right choice, child."

"She is your mate, isn't she?"

Fenrys paused his eating and lifted his head to see Rowan enter the room. The blond just muttered some incoherent sentence before resuming his eating. Rowan came and sat on the opposite chair, giving him an amused look.

"Seems like you have worked up quite the appetite. Apparently being a territorial fae bastard turns you into a starved wolf."

"I am not a territorial fae bastard." Fenrys grumbled while his mouth was full of food.

Rowan smirked, "Well, Aelin calls me that whenever I do what you just did in the sitting room last night."

"And what did I do exactly?"

"Get all protective and posessive over your mate."

"We aren't mates."

Rowan chuckled "Oh please, Fenrys. We all saw you stake a claim on y/n in that room. Besides, I already had my suspicions and Lorcan isn't the best secret keeper."

Fenrys clenched his fists on the table. "That little prick. I knew I couldn't trust him."

"So you are mates. Fenrys, you hurt my feelings by choosing to tell this to Lorcan over me."

Fenrys playfully rolled his eyes at his friend and said, "Shut up, bird. Besides, we don't even know if we will be together. Neither of us has accepted the bond."

Rowan's expression became grim. "So I've heard. Seems like you both are scared."

Fenrys sighed "Truthfully, I would be lying if I said that I am sure everything will be perfect. That I will accept the bond and already be deep in love with her. I do feel a lot for y/n but love is something I never had any experience in and.....with the kind of a past that I have, I am of course afraid. Afraid of scaring her away or doing something wrong. But what I do know is that I would never hurt her. And I am willing to accept the bond because I do like her and imagining a forever with y/n does bring me so much joy."

The prince nodded his head at his friends confession and after a moment replied, "You truly need one another, Fenrys. You need healing and so does she, from whatever nightmares she has endured. You both can heal together. Heal each other. Learn to love not only yourselves but also the world around you."

Fenrys gazed towards the window behind his friend, his expression thoughtful. "She is afraid, Rowan. Her life hasn't been easy and it seems like she hasn't gotten to feel joyful much because so many good things have been taken away from her. One of them being..." Fenrys had to reign his anger in as he said, "Azriel."

Rowan nodded his head slowly, gesturing for his companion to go on. Fenrys inhaled a sharp breath in before continuing, "He pretended to be in love with her, Rowan. In love. And she believed him, she believed him and overlooked all the other signs like them not being mates in favor of loving him. But, all this time he was being a bastard who lied to her. What a little coward. I hate him for breaking her, for shattering her heart and making her doubt herself. I meant what I said, Rowan. I will kill him if I see him."

The prince shook his head slowly, "No, you can't kill him."

Fenrys' brows furrowed "What?"

"I said, you can't kill him. I won't allow you to."

Fenrys scoffed, "Please, don't act so almighty with me. If the roles were reversed and Azriel had done all that to Aelin, you would rip him to shreds."

Rowan smiled slightly, "True, but the roles aren't reversed, are they? So, I won't allow you to kill him"

"What?! That's just-"

"He has a mate, Fenrys. You can't do that."

"Like I care. That viper mate of his should also stay away from me if she values her life. She has just as much of a fault in this as he does. I will kill him, Rowan. I am sorry but I won't follow your order on this one."

"I said don't kill him but I never said don't beat him to the brink of death."

Fenrys' eyes widened as Rowan laughed and winked at his friend before getting up and heading towards the door, "You underestimate me, Fenrys. They hurt your mate so of course you should destroy him, just don't kill him and cause an extra headache for us all with a court that isn't even from our world. Oh, and...."

Rowan gave a final look at Fenrys before closing the door, "If they even manage to come here and try something, believe me Fenrys, they will be going back home with broken ego's and shattered bones. Whether or not y/n will be going with them is up to her."

The old house stood silent, its windows staring out like blank eyes into the night.

Y/n must have read this sentence for what feels like the millionth time in the book. Her mind was just too mixed up with other things that she couldn't even concentrate on reading a single sentence from a random book.

"You are reading 'Whispering Windows'? Gods, that's the most boring book I've ever read."

Y/n looked from her place on the couch to see Manon and Eva entering the room as the younger girl made a disgusted face at the book y/n was holding.

"What, you don't like it?"

"Like it? The whole plot is so predictable that by the end when the supposed plot twist happens, you already expected it."

Manon came and sat beside y/n as Eva lay down on the carpeted floor, propping her head on one hand. The witch smirked after taking a peek into the book y/n was reading. "Don't worry Eva, it seems like y/n hasn't even gotten past the first page yet."

Y/n sighed and put the book down, "Yes, can't really concentrate right now."

"Why not?" Eva's voice sounded curious but Manon gave a knowing look at y/n as she said, "Because her mind is currently elsewhere. Something having to do with a certain mate perhaps?"

Eva's eyes widened and she immediately jumped up before y/n could even answer the question, "You have a mate?! Since when?! Is it Fenrys-"

Y/n quickly put her palm on the girls mouth, shutting her up, as she hissed, "Yes, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go around shouting it for all to hear."

She brought her palm down from Eva's mouth as the girl whispered, "Fenrys is your mate? Oh Godsss!!"

"Calm down, it's not like either of them has accepted it yet." Manon crossed her arms as she looked expectantly at y/n.

"How did you-"

"Know? Hmmm, I have my ways." the queen winked at her before nudging her on the ribs, "So, what will happen between you two? Are you planning on accepting it?"

Y/n tilted her head backwards on the couch and closed her eyes.

"Uh-oh."

Y/n's eyes opened once again as she looked at Eva "What?! I didn't even say anything yet."

The girl shrugged her shoulders before smiling, "You don't need to. Your posture just told me everything I needed to know and then your delay in answer proved me right."

Y/n and Manon both looked at her with slightly wide eyes as the former whispered, "Wow"

Manon turned to look at her once again, "You are going to reject the bond?! Why?"

Y/n sighed, "I went and talked with the Book of Breathings earlier today and turns out my mother was the one behind it all from the start. She knew I had a mate here so she managed to get me sent to this place, effectively making my and Fenrys' paths cross and that just gave me the answer I needed. Assured me of my choice."

"Which is?"

Y/n looked at both of them beore saying in a steady voice, "No."

"What?!"

"Why?!"

Both the queen and the girl shouted at the same time, still looking surprised by her choice.

She put her palm over both of their mouths' as she said, "If you will just shut up and allow me to talk, I will explain."

Once they both stayed quiet, y/n let out a breath and said, "As I mentioned, my mother had a hand in this, in us crossing paths. That's why I feel as if I have forced myself upon Fenrys. If I accept this, I will force him to be with me because we didn't meet naturally. I am afraid that at some point, he will realise this and stop feeling all those things for me and leave like Azriel did. Like everyone always does-"

"I will have to stop you right there." Manon's voice sounded firm yet reassuring and determined as she placed a hand on y/n's shoulder.

"I understand your fears. You have had some hard times in your life it seems, and have loved the very few things you considered good. Such as those fae and especially Azriel. But, they left you alone after you have loved so much and been so vulnerable that now you find it hard to open up again. But believe me, y/n. That isn't your fault at all. They didn't leave because you were mean, bad, unusual or something else but because they themselves are the problem. They are the liars and hypocrites. Not you."

When y/n opened her mouth to say something, Manon put up a hand and said, "Now, as for the whole being sent here situation, if not now then when? If your mother wouldn't have done what she did at that exact time to get you here then when, exactly would you have a chance to come here again? To cross paths with Fenrys? He adores you, y/n. He is ready to go to the ends of the world as long as it's with you. Believe me, Fenrys has changed so much for the better since your arrival. No one has had this effect on him but you. Only you."

Y/n's eyes watered slightly as Eva hugged her silently and Manon squeezed her hand with a reassuring smile, "Just think about it."

Y/n gave her a small smile in return as she nodded her head and sat with them in a comforting silence a little more, thinking over what Manon just said.

It was sunset when she was sitting in the gazebo, staring out into the ethereal view of flowers and other plants. Her surroundings were so serene and peaceful, contrasting with her inner turmoil as y/n was once again, lost.

"May I?"

That voice that always caused a warm feeling to envelop her. That calm yet deep voice that never fails to make her squirm in her seat. The only voice that ever made her feel such things.

Fenrys' voice.

Y/n lifted her head up to see him standing in front of the gazebo, a small smile on his face, looking as angelic as ever. She managed to smile back and nod her head.

He came and sat right next to her, his comforting scent invading all her senses as she couldn't stop her body from leaning against him causing Fenrys to immediately wrap an arm around her waist and put his head on hers.

She felt so safe in his arms. So safe and protected, as if no harm could ever come to her as long as she was with him. And truthfully, y/n did start thinking that it was like that. But then again, another small part of her was still unsure, still telling her that this would never end well. That this was a forced story.

"You seem deep in thought"

His voice that seems to turn gentle only when talking to her brought her back from her thoughts as y/n asked him the question she has been dying to get an answer for.

"Are you truly happy to have me as a mate?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know, just.... I don't know"

She felt him pull her slightly away so that they can look at each other. Fenrys' brows were furrowed as he looked expectantly at her.

Y/n sighed, "I- I just- forget it."

"No, I won't forget it because you will tell me what is causing you any trouble so that I can smooth it out."

Her eyes widened, "You care about me that much? You- you would try to solve my problems for me?"

Fenrys' arm around her tightened as he said, "Of course I care about you. In fact, I more than care about you. Your troubles are my troubles and so, I would do everything in my power to get rid of every single one of them until you are feeling at peace. Feeling safe-"

"I do feel safe, Fen. Whenever I am with you is when I feel safe."

He seemed to be surprised about that because now it was his eyes that widened. "You do?"

"Of course I do, Fenrys. I feel safe, cared, supported, appreciated and even loved whenever I am with you. You have shown me the love no one has ever shown before. That's why I am afraid that you may doubt this at some point in the future. I am afraid that you- that your feelings will change and you will also leave-"

Her words were silenced by Fenrys' lips on hers. He kissed her fiercely, full of adoration and passion while his hand kept on caressing her back.

When he pulled away from her, his breath heaving, as he put both of his hands on each side of her face, "Never say such things ever again. I would never and I mean never knowingly hurt you. I would rather get my skin ripped off my body than ever betray you, princess. I am ready to spend an eternity with you, I will accept it right this moment, even. But I am more than willing to wait until you are ready to make a choice."

A tear slipped down her eye before Fenrys kissed it away as y/n smiled at him, feeling so warm after the confession he made. "I think- I think I know my answer, Fen. I just need a little more time to be sure."

Fenrys smiled brightly and kissed her other cheek as he pulled her back into his chest and put his head back on hers. "Once you are ready, I will be here, waiting and ready to soothe your doubts."

Once they arrived to dinner, the room was full with everyone chattering and discussing things, Dorian's voice loudest of all as he mentioned that there were only two days left until the lunar eclipse now.

"Well, with two groups, I believe we have a chance at winning." Lysandras confident voice filled the room as she playfully hit the back of Dorian's head while passing by his chair.

Y/n sat down next to Fenrys as she asked no one in particular, "Who is going where?"

Dorian smiled brightly and pointed to himself as he said, "Of course, the one and only me, Eva, Elide, Yrene and Lucien are staying with you. The rest are going after the valgs."

"And me." came Fenrys' voice from beside her, full of determination.

Aelin cleared her throat, "Fenrys, you can shift. You would be more helpful with us-"

"I am staying with y/n."

"Fenrys-"

"No."

"Fenrys," y/n put her hand on his, causing him to look at her, his gaze immediately softening.

"Please, you will be more helpful in the fight against the valg."

"But-"

"I will be fine, Fen. I won't be alone, right?"

Yrene nodded her head "Of course, we will be with you every step of the way."

Y/n smiled and looked back at him. "See? You shouldn't worry about me."

He sighed and clearly was willing to protest more but one look from y/n caused him to give her a resigned nod.

After a while, as everyone kept on talking, y/n noticed that Petrah seemed to be smiling which was the most unusual thing ever because y/n never saw her smile fully. One look at Lucien confirmed what she thought. He told her that they were mates and from the small shake of his head that Lucien gave y/n, she understood that neither of them haven't accepted the bond, just getting to first know more of one another. Just like her and Fenrys, it seems.

As the dinner went on, y/n's doubts were mostly fogotten as she immersed herself in the endless conversations happening around her, feeling more at home than she ever had. And through it all, she felt Fenrys' firm yet reassuring hold on her hand, his presence like a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Y/n knew that this was far from over, that they had trouble coming in two days but right in this moment, she was more than ready to face whatever that was coming as long as she had Fenrys by her side.

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moonlightazriel · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter 19: It feels cold and empty /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: They try to adjust to a life where they don't have each other anymore.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Angst, mentions of fighting and suicide.

Notes: if you're triggered by suicide scenes, please don't read this. If you're not, please enjoy..

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

She nervously picked at the cuticles of her nails, every pair of eyes watching her curiously, not a word being said since she had been sitting in the council room of Aelin Galathynius’s castle for the last thirty minutes. The double doors burst open and she recoiled into herself further at the sight of Manon’s golden eyes, looking around the room until they landed on her.

“Where the hell have you been?” Her queen’s voice reverberated through the chambers and she took a deep breath.

“It’s a very long story.” Manon nodded, sitting on the empty chair by Aelin’s side.

“We have plenty of time, I actually cleared my schedule for the day.” The younger queen winked at her, she could sense the curiosity pouring out of Aelin since her sentries had brought her there, Meraxes somewhere she didn’t know.

“I don’t even know where I should start..” She took a moment to recompose her breath and looked at the face of her own queen once more. “Let’s start with the golden eyes of a King.”

Manon, Aelin and Rowan didn’t say a thing as she recalled everything that had happened on the time she was away, in too many details she described Velaris and the kindness of the faes she met there, she talked about the powerful wings and the bravery of a new type of people she met. The curses of this land in the hands of the middle born Valg King. She told them how Mantyx went there and how they, just like Elena once did, failed to kill him and sealed him and let the problem to those who would come after them.

She told them how using the powers of Celeste and the cauldron, they broke the seal and killed him in his own home, preventing him from conquering Prythian like he intended to do since the beginning. She talked about the key and the gate, reassuring them that it would never be a problem as they didn’t have any interest in leaving their own world behind.

She talked about the good friends she made, and how she would miss them dearly but she knew she had to come home. She didn’t say anything about Azriel to them, a selfish part of her didn’t want to share him with anyone, he was hers and hers only to keep tucked away in her heart forever, where he would never be hurt and unloved again.

“We’re glad to have you back.” Rowan said after she was done, nodding his head toward the female, his trained eye on the tattoo on her arm, as she nervously rolled her sleeves up, revealing the drawing to them.

“This world you described, it somehow feels familiar, when i close my eyes i can get a glimpse of beautiful stars and snow covered mountains.” Aelin stated, like a distant dream that bubbled in her mind, she had seen it when she was falling through the worlds, the male had helped her stop so she wouldn’t miss her home.

“I can’t even imagine all of that, but as Rowan said, we’re happy to have you back, we should go back home.” Manon said, rising from her seat and thanking Aelin for having them there. Y/N did the same, following her queen outside.

She almost laughed at the thought of calling this her home, as once someone said to her that home is where your heart is, and her was worlds apart from her, with the Shadowsinger she gave it to, the male she would love until the last day she walked this earth, maybe not even death would be enough to erase her love for him.

As she crossed the busy streets, she couldn’t avert her gaze from the statue built for them, their faces sculpted in stone, their swords raised together towards the stars, written in a beautiful handwritten at the base of the statue, she could read.

“From now until the darkness claims us. In honour of the brave warriors that gave their life for this land.” Asterin in the middle of them, leading them to the battle. She hated it, she despised the reminder of the family she lost, the people she never stood a chance of saving, she hated the reminder that no matter what she did differently that day, she could not change their sacrifice. She hated it because it reminded her of how, late at night between sobs, she wished the darkness would claim her too just so all the pain would be gone.

She found Meraxes sat by Abraxo’s side, his eyes distant, looking at where once a gap stood, like he too missed that land. But as Y/N climbed his leg, adjusting herself into the seat, she mumbled to him to forget that. They would never come back, and then, he carried them back to the Witch Kingdom.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“It’s been four months.” Feyre said, rubbing Nyx’s hair out of his eyes.

“I guess locking him up at the House of Wind won’t work this time.” Nesta remarked, making Feyre roll her eyes at her. The inner circle sat at the dining table in the River House,worried about Azriel’s declining state.

Ever since she left, he had been sadder, angrier, snapping at anyone who dared to show a little bit of concern towards him. They could never imagine what it felt like, knowing your mate, getting to love her and having her falling in love with you too, just for her to be gone, to never come back.

“What if he tries something?” Elain asked, Lucien held her hand in a reassuring grip.

“We won’t allow it.” He said, Lucien was the one trying the hardest to look out for Azriel, because his best friend would be pissed with him if he didn’t try, she would want her mate to be as fine as he possibly could, and Lucien would ensure that for her.

“We could kidnap her back.” Cassian suggested and the whole table turned to him, looking at him like he had three heads.

“Oh Mother, we’re not kidnapping someone, what are we? Hybern?” Rhysand said, eyeing his brother with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Azriel needs time, how much time he deems fit to get better, all we can do is pray to the Mother that he gets well soon, and show him that we’re here for him.”

“Talking about it..” Elain said getting up, fixing her skirts and nodding towards Lucien. “I’ll check on him.” She grabbed her mate’s hand, receiving an approving nod from Rhys, they winnowed to the House of Wind.

His room was dark and quiet, Azriel lay with his face pressed to his pillows, a dry trail of tears down his cheeks, his hair was messy, his shadows gathered around him quietly, like they too didn’t have the motivation to move.

“Az.” Elain called, crouching in front of his eyes, those hazel orbs that had once radiated life once, were dull and glassy, he didn’t even greet her. “I brought something for you to eat, I’ll open the curtains and Lucien will help you shower, okay?” She said in a cheerful voice, but the male kept quiet.

Elain did as she told, opening the curtains to let some sunshine enter his chambers, he hissed and she took it as a good sign that he could still feel something at least. She removed the covers from him, the blankets disappearing as the house helped her to get his room clean.

“Okay, time to shower.” Lucien said, him and Elain supporting his body, dragging the defeated male towards the bathroom. Elain thanked Lucien for his help as she left the two alone. Lucien didn’t even bother anymore, he had done the same for Tamlin a while ago, so he stripped Azriel naked, letting the male soak in the warmth of the bath the house prepared.

Lucien rubbed shampoo in his scalp, watching as slowly his shoulders started to shake and broken sobs parted his lips. He didn’t know what to say but he would wait if, for once, Azriel felt like talking today. Lucien almost gasped in surprise when the male, in fact, spoke.

“I feel pathetic.” He breathed and Lucien raised an eyebrow. “Four months depending on others because i can’t get a fucking grip.” He sounded angry, hurt.

“There’s no shame in needing help.” Lucien gently replied, washing the bubbles from his hair. “When I lost Jesminda, I thought I would never recover from it.. The days blurred into months, the months into years of being stuck into a horrific void..”

“How did you get out?” He choked in his own tears.

“I didn’t, not fully, and I don't think I ever will. My heart belonged to her, and a part always will, despite me loving Elain with all I have.” Lucien took another deep breath. “When I saw you and Elain together, I found myself back inside that void, sinking into it and letting it consume me.”

“I never apologised for what I did, you’re a good male, you didn’t deserve all the pain we both put you through.” Azriel turned his head to face Lucien, the male just shook his head.

“You took care of her when I couldn't, you gave her a choice, you helped pull her out of that void. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt seeing you two, cuz it felt like my soul was being ripped away from me, I’m saying that I’m willing to look past all of this because she’s worth it, love is always worth it, and if it meant she would be happy, I would go through all of this again, even if she never chose me, just to ensure she would be happy.”

“How would you live, knowing that you can’t have your mate?” Azriel dared to ask and Lucien seemed to think for a while.

“I would just keep going, like I always did. And you should too, I never took you for the kind of male that would give up on life like this.” Lucien nudged him with his hand and Azriel allowed a barely there smile to appear in his face.

“I should talk to you more often.” He snorted. “Thank you for looking out for me.” Azriel said with all the honesty he had in his heart.

“It’s for her.” Lucien confessed and Azriel nodded.

“Yeah, cuz she’s worth it.” He repeated and Lucien nodded. “I think I can assume from here.” Lucien nodded, getting up and leaving the bathroom to give him some time.

“I would never allow you to sacrifice your happiness for me.” Elain said as she spotted him, her eyes filled with tears. Lucien pulled her close.

“We don’t have to think about it anymore, we’re together and that’s all that matters.” He gently kissed her temple and the female nodded, the two sitting in the window, waiting for Azriel to get out of the bathroom.

When he did, she could swear he was a new male, freshly shaved and looking less tired, his cheeks were still hollow and he had bigger dark circles than ever, but she looked better, the talk with Lucien had really helped.

“Come eat something.” Elain gestured towards the plate in his study desk and he nodded, sitting down and eating like he hadn't done in months.

“Thank you two, for everything.” He said, his voice muffled by the food.

“Just doing what you did for me all those months ago.” Elain winked and grabbed Lucien’s hand. “We’re going back to the River House, you don’t have to, but if you want, meet us there.” The male nodded, watching as his friends disappeared, he would go back to his life, he would learn how to live without her again.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Fenrys growled, holding an ice filled cloth to her swollen face.

“He was fucking annoying.” She mumbled, wiping the blood on her sleeve.

“And you had to start a fight with him?” He offered her a cloth, but she declined.

“Asking gently didn’t work the first time, he had to learn.” She simply replied, her head throbbing, she was tired of that conversation.

“I know you left some important people behind, but you can’t keep like this, you’re not even alive anymore.” He shouted, ever since she came back, she had stopped eating, every night she would go out, and find someone dumb enough to start a fight with her, or she would lock herself in her room, screaming as Gods knows what plagued her dreams. She never failed her duty though. Every morning she would appear impeccable, ready to do whatever she was ordered to.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She got up, face to face with him. Fenrys scoffed.

“Do you think she would be proud? Asterin would be ashamed of you.” He said, the anger getting the best of him, seeing his friend wasting her life like this. But at the sight of her defeated expression and tear filled eyes, he regretted it. “I didn’t mea…”

“FUCK YOU, FENRYS!” She yelled in his face, turning away from him and marching. She seemed to remember something, because she turned around, the fat tear streaming down her bruised face. “It wasn’t just some important friends that i left behind, i left my mate behind, maybe this means something to you.”

Fenrys froze, mates were really precious in fae culture, for her to be here without him, having the strength to leave him behind, she was in so much pain, and he just made everything worse by throwing her biggest fear on her face, the fear of disappointing Asterin.

Y/N walked back to the castle, feeling her body numb, the pain in her chest too overwhelming to even feel the cold winds making her shiver. She marched towards her room, she opened the window, feeling the breeze messing her hair that had overgrown.

She just wanted it all to be gone, all the pain, all the sadness, everything. She closed her eyes shut, climbing the railing of the balcony. Maybe he wouldn’t feel anything, so far away from her. The winds were stronger, like they tried to push her back to the safety of her room. She took a deep breath.

“From now until the darkness claims us.” She breathed, feeling the air leave her lungs. That was when she allowed her body to lean forward, the sweet embrace that awaited for her and would bring her the relief she desperately wanted was all she had in mind.

She didn't register the loud horrific roar that ripped the skies, awakening the whole castle. She just felt her body being violently pushed backwards, the air getting knocked out of her lungs as her back hit the stone wall with full force. She opened her eyes, feeling her head spin, the whole room with it as dizziness set over her.

Someone grabbed at her, checking up on her head that bled due to the impact. She heard voices, but the consciousness slipped away from her grasp rather quickly. Until she let it claim her, pulling her into a soft embrace.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“What’s wrong, Elain?” Lucien asked as he saw the white orbs of his mate. The female shivered.

“She tried to kill herself.” She mumbled and the whole table went still, turning towards her. Azriel felt his heart squeeze in his chest. “And she will try again.” Elain said, her voice laced with sorrow. Two more months had passed since she departed, Azriel was better, back to training and to his duties, but this had dragged him back to that void.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Rhys said, he truly was, but they couldn’t do anything.

“We need to go get her.” Nesta replied, already ready to jump through the gates to get her friend back.

“We can’t, remember that she chose to go.” He stared at the angry frown on Nesta’s face, he could feel it pouring out of her but she didn’t say anything to him, he should’ve known better than this.

Cassian watched as everyone finished dinner, going back to their rooms and houses. He watched as Nesta prepared herself for bed, he almost laughed at her antics, she thought she was sneaky, but he knew her better than herself, so as she pretended to be asleep. He got their bags ready.

Later that night, he heard her, slowly lifting from bed, shuffling through their things, quietly mumbling a curse, he kept pretending he was sleeping. He was quick to change into his leathers, sheathing his swords and walking to the living room, sitting in the dark, waiting for his mate.

Nesta gasped when the lights flickered on and she spotted her mate, sitting with two bags at his feet and a big grin spreading across his face. From behind him, surprise filled her at the sight of Elain in pants, her hair braided behind her back, a bag strapped to her shoulders, flanked by both Lucien and Azriel.

“We know you.” She had said and Nesta smiled at her family.

“How are we getting the key?” Lucien asked, and his sister in law just closed her eyes, focusing on that call, pulling it towards her, the same way she had done with the troves. The key appeared in her hands and she grinned.

“Like calls like.” She winked at them, strapping her bag on her shoulder before they winnowed away to Ramiel. As they opened the balcony door, to get easier to go, they spotted Rhysand. He was wearing his sleeping clothes, and was rubbing his temples.

“You’re all so predictable.” He sighed. “I’ll close my eyes for five seconds, and you all better be gone before I open them again. I don’t want to see you here, not without her.” He heard Nesta cheering, feeling the winds change around him as they all winnowed back, to get her home.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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