#and I love Rowan and Aelin for each other

[acourtofquestions]

Also the fact Aelin got to say them, took the time, & felt safe enough to do so. And then you have Rowan who remembered, took the time to say the same things back (and then some).

Which is SO extra important because she has carried the grief with Sam for so long of all the things she never got to say, she didn’t get to say I love you too (“I hate packing” will forever haunt me, though it’s still a beautiful scene, OW!) or even the grief of all the people in her life that did not love her right or used her desperate wish to be loved against her (*coughs* I hate Arobynn & the one time he uses it to manipulate her) so those words are a big deal not just on a romantic level but a fundamental human one.

And then the same goes for Rowan, who has believed/said he “believes” that “the people you love are just weapons that will be used against you” and here he is loving her. Taking the time to say it (he didn’t get enough time with Lyria and has carried every last word (carved into his very skin) for centuries), knowing how much it means for both of them, and being “unafraid” too (for her & with her).

⚠️⚠️SPOILERS FOR QUEEN OF SHADOWS ⚠️⚠️

I. LOVE. ROWAN. SO. MUCH

“You make me want to live too, Aelin Galathynius”

“Not exist - but live”

"I spent centuries wandering the world, from empires to kingdoms to wastelands, never settling, never stopping— not for one moment. I was always looking toward the horizon, always wondering what waited across the next ocean, over the next mountain. But I think... I think that whole time, all those centuries, I was just looking for you."

He’s literally the standard. I don’t want to hear I love you. I want to hear this shit.

And the fact that Aelin said something similar a couple chapters back?? 😭😭😭😁

[acourtofquestions]

Aelin glared up at him. "Another round."

Rowan just sheathed his sword. "After breakfast."

She growled. He growled right back.

"Don't be stupid," he said. "You'll lose all that muscle if you don't feed your body. So eat. And if you still want to train afterward, I'll train with you."

He offered her a tattooed hand.

But Aelin said, "People are dying. In Terrasen. In-everywhere. People are dying, Rowan."

"Your eating breakfast isn't going to change that." Her lips curled in a snarl, but he cut her off. "I know people are dying. We are going to help them, but you need to have some strength left, or you won't be able to."

Truth.

Her mate spoke truth. And yet she could see them, hear them. Those dying, frightened people. Whose screams so often sounded like her own.

Rowan wriggled his fingers in silent reminder. Shall we?

Aelin scowled and took his hand, letting him haul her to her feet. So pushy.

Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me.

[theladyofbloodshed]

I’m going to be a little controversial under the cut

Sjm meeting her husband on her first day of college and only loving one man since she was 18 is very evident in her writing. I don’t meant to say it’s a bad thing to only have one relationship, but she writes all previous relationships of her characters as meaningless compared to the current one.

Any previous crushes/relationships of her characters were shallow. Whilst they may have felt like something at the time, in hindsight they pale in comparison to the Great Love. Or she writes them as being wrong, wrong, wrong and has to tarnish it in some way to make the Great Love seem better.

Rowan wanted to marry Lyria and was expecting a child with her then sjm retconned it to be a false bond to manipulate him and has Aelin be the much greater love, disregarding the past. He loved her so much he was going to have a baby with her.

Sam becomes just a memory of a teenage crush because he can’t compare to Rowan for Aelin as they’re mates.

Sorcha is just a servant who Dorian had fleeting feelings for despite her losing her head for getting close to the prince when he was lonely.

Isaac Hale is just a boring tumble in the hay - and not the boy who Feyre shared her worries with and he cared enough to buy the contraceptive tea because she couldn’t afford it.

Tamlin was a walking red flag and Rhys can love her so much better despite the months they spent together happy and falling in love.

Graysen and his father swap roles so the former can bash Elain and treat her cruelly while even his father looks shocked.

Jesminda is murdered but she was just a lesser fae and clearly will matter less to Lucien than his mate.

Shahar gave Hunt an opportunity to be something great then its revealed she just used him for his power and didn’t love him to the same depth - not in the way Bryce can.

It is so odd that she cannot write a couple who realise that they’re not each other’s endgame. She could have written that Feyre and Tamlin struggled greatly after the war and realised that the curse had forced them together but their romance dried up, no hard feelings.

Rowan could have been Lyria’s mate and still loved Aelin just as much 200 years later. Graysen could have said to Elain that he loved her still but could not be a fae rather than insult her.

People can love many times in their life. Just because they don’t end up together forever, it doesn’t mean a relationship didn’t matter.

[erisvansserra]

Follow You

Fenrys x Reader x Azriel

Summery: 30 years ago, Y/N fell through a portal and woke up in Prythian naked an afraid. She counted herself lucky that she was found by the shadowsinger and his high lord, who took her in and gave her a home. Despite their hospitality she dreamed of her home and the mate she left behind, Fenrys, who searched for her until one day.. he finds her.

A/N: OMG thank you for all the love I've received for this fic!! I literally did not expect it and I'm so happy you all like it! You can read part 1 here.

You awake in the middle of the night and turn in bed to reach for Azriel, your hand skimming the covers in search for his warmth. When you feel nothing but cold sheets you open your eyes and look to where he should be, nothing. As you begin to wake from the early morning brain fog you realise you're in the townhouse, your friends had returned, and you were going home.

......

Hours later you're sitting in the living room with Rowan and Aelin, their presence and laughter bringing you such comfort, for the first time in 30 years you feel truely at home. Aelin was in the middle of telling you about Lysandra and Aedions wedding when the inner circle walked through the front door. Your eyes met Azriels the moment he walked through the entry way, his face a mask of indifference that made you feel uneasy. You stood from your seat on the couch, unsure if you should make the steps toward him, seek the comfort in his touch.

"Hi" you say in a soft voice, the world dripping away like melting ice as you and the shadowsinger stare at each other "Hi" he responds in a voice just as soft. His smooth voice encases your body in goosebumps, his hazel eyes took a quick sweep of your body checking for any injuries making you smile slightly. "Can you two stop being so.. weird and hug?" Cassian's loud voice breaks through the tension, making your smile grow and a blush spread on your cheeks. Azriel smiles as well and makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You feel a new type of tension enter the room as Rowan and Aelin stiffen from their spots on the couch. "What's this?" Aelin asks, her posture changing from casual comfort to regal royal with the snap of her spine. You feel that stomach twisting guilt begin to suck you in again as you look between your friends. "She's my partner” Azriel answers with a slight growl as he brings you closer to his chest, tucking you in under his chin protectively. Aelin goes to open her mouth bur Rhysand raises his hand to interject "may I show you something?" he asks. Rowan and Aelin look at each other cautiously before nodding, slowly Rhysand uses his powers to enter their minds and shows them what happened that night they found you in the wood.

30 Years Ago

You fell from the sky, the limbs of trees smacking your naked body as you crashed to the cool ground. You screamed in pain as your plumet reached its end, hitting the ground so hard you swore the earth shook. With a broken arm that you cradled with care you began walking around the unfamillar woods, the air smelt different here, your keen eye sight couldn't pick up on anything that reminded you of home. You walked for about 15 minutes before a winged male landed before you. You yelped and began running in the other direction, your legs full of scratches that burnt and bled as your legs pumped under you. Before you got the chance to escape another winged male landed and put a knife to your throat. You whimpered and fell to your knees before him, your broken arm still pressed to your chest as you quickly submitted to the winged male. You felt the tip of his knife under your chin, slowly he lifted your face to his, all you could see in the darkness was those light hazel eyes. "Who are you?" he asked, his voice as harsh as the ground you kneeled upon "y/n" you answered. The male from earlier now stood behind you, their weapons within reach if they needed it.

The memory changed, a new memory coming to view.

It had been 18 months since the night court took you in, tried to give you a home, tried to replace what you lost. Azriel was at your door, a fresh bowl of soup in his hand as he knocked and waited for you to answer. After a few moments he let himself in, you were in bed, depression had taken its toll on you. Your hair was knotted, your skin blanched and dry, your eyes red and puffy from the lack of sleep. Azriel tried to get you to talk, but all you could mutter was his name "fenrys" over and over again. .

The memory moved forward again. You sat in the grass 6 years ago, your skin starting to give a healthy glow and your hair long and healthy. Azriel watched you as you shook your hair out of your face and laid in the grass, sweeping your hands over the blades as you took in the sweet spring air.

He approached you, his boots flanking either side of your head as he peered down to look into your eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be training with Cassian?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. With a click of your tongue you answer “I don’t want to train today, I want to enjoy the first day of spring”. A small smile threatens to creep along his face as he nods, considering your statement.

“Well” he starts, turning his head to look out towards the house of wind, like he could see Cassian sitting there still waiting for you to turn up .“What would you rather do today? If not train” he finishes, his eyes sweeping over to you once more.

You inched your head slightly closer to his left boot, cocking your head as you looked up at him. The sun cast his face in shadow, making his features look sharper and his warm eyes glow ever so slightly.

“Maybe I could do some spy work with you?” You ask, his eyebrows jump up in surprise.

“Really?” He says with a warm chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine “I’ve been here 24 years and never left this court, I’d like to see more of this world” you answer. His face drops slightly at your words, his brother has been locked under the mountain for some time now, prythian was no longer safe. He couldn’t risk losing someone else he.. cared for, not now, not ever. But when he looked at you, saw the hope in your eyes and watched as you held your breath, something in his chest cracked.

“Okay, you can come with me to the edge of our court” he relents but smiles as he watches you beam up at him.

Neither of you knew it, but this was the first stepping stone towards your relationship now. Love slowly blossomed between you in the following year, but he knew deep down you still loved your mate and that was something he was willing to live with if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with you.

Present day

Aelin and Rowan jumped back in their seats as Rhysand left their minds “what the hell was that?!” Aelin shouted, her hands coming to cup each temple of her head.

Rhysand took a moment to explain and apologise for his power, that he was showing them Azriel memories in hopes it can better illustrate your situation. You stepped away from Azriel and walked over to Rowan, kneeling before your cousin you took his large hand in yours.

“I mourned Fenrys for 25 years cousin, I still mourn the loss of him now…” you say as Rowans emerald eyes flick to yours, his mind still reeling from Rhys power.

“I know you of all people would understand the guilt I feel, Rowan, please do not pass judgement too harshly on me” you continue, your voice threatening to convey the very guilt you feel as it tremors slightly. Rowans eyes soften at your words, he doesn’t look towards Aelin as his hand tightens around your own. He gives you a small nod in understanding, his eyes flicking between your own, the pressure lifting from your chest slightly.

Releasing a shuddering breath you rise in front of him and look towards Aelin, you know her and Fenrys are close, you knew it was her judgement that would affect your standing in court. Her eyes pierced you in your place, not a friend but a queen sat before you now. her eyes rake up and down your body before she says “Fenrys has been in his animal form the last 30 years searching for you”.

“Show me” you say looking to Rhysand, his expression unreadable as his eyes shift to Aelin, she nods in acceptance and you feel Rhys power enter your mind.

You see a white wolf, from Aelins POV. It laps at the lake you swam in in your dream, its fur greying and matted in some places. Her eyes skim over its emaciated body, ribs poking out from under its skin.

“You have to eat Fen” you hear Aelin coo to the wolf, it doesn’t even look at her before it plods off in the opposite direction, off to continue its search.

Rhysands power leaves you again, you feel the bile racing up your throat as you turn and sprint through the inner circle to make it outside where you throw up over the balcony railing. Azriel sighs and leaves to comfort you as he always has.

Back in the living room of the town house Rowan shoots Aelin with a glare, clearly upset she chose that memory of Fenrys instead of one where he looked a little less disheveled. “How often does she react like this?” Rowan asks the group as he stands from his seat.

“When she first arrived it was everyday, now it’s… every other day” Cassian answers looking over his shoulder to where you stand beside Azriel as he rubs soothing circles on your back. “I know she is mated to your friend, I know you want to protect him” he continues, his voice soft as he looks back at Rowan. “But she does grieve him, do not think that because she has found Azriel she has forgotten her mate”.

Rowan looks out to you now, his chest threatening to concave on itself as he sees you, his cousin and best friend lost in a fit of grief. He places a hand on Cassians shoulder as he walks past him to the balcony where you and Az whisper to each other. At his arrival you look over your shoulder, your eyes red and puffy from the tears that you’ve shed.

“When was the last time you shifted, cousin?” He asks as he places a hand on your shoulder. “Rowan I-“ you begin but his warm share cuts you off, you sigh before you answer him again “I haven’t shifted since I’ve been here”

Rowan hums in response, then lightly pats you back, he walks around you and the shadowsinger, down the garden steps and waits at the bottom.

“Come on y/n let’s have some fun” Rowan says as he shifts into a hawk. Azriel looks to you in disbelief, he takes a few steps away as the rest of the inner circle make their way outside to investigate the bright light they saw when Rowan shifted. You look at each of their faces, then back to the bird that flies impatiently around the townhouse.

“What animal do you think is faster?” Aelin asks no one in particular as she joins the rest of the house. The inner circle look to her as you decent the balcony and give your body a quick shake as you prepare to shift. A bright light engulfs the garden again as your body bends and transforms into a black panther, your sleek body and coat shine in the sun, you move your paws along the grass feeling the earth beneath you.

Looking over your shoulder your eyes meet Azriels who stares in disbelief, but in this moment you don’t care about anything but the primal call in your heart. The call to run, to hunt, to stalk. The hawk swoops from above you, its sharp talons clipping your ear warning a growl from deep in your feline belly. As the hawk shrills in warning you take off, running away from the townhouse and down the streets of velaris.

A/n: sorry If this chapter seemed super jumpy, I wanted to give more back story to Azriel and y/n while also capturing Aelin and Rowans discomfort. I hope you liked it!!

[throneofsapphics]

one more for the party

Aelins Court x f!Reader (mostly fenrys, rowan, aelin, and a bit of Lysandra)

Summary: you're invited to one of Aelin and Rowan's special parties

Warnings: smut, dvp, orgy

Word Count: 1332

A/N: happy kinktober everyone! here's the first of my kinktober shorts. if anyone would like to be added to the kinktober taglist, please let me know!

kinktober masterlist

How in the Gods did you end up here? 

That really was the question of the age. As a friend of Aedion’s, the King and Queen had taken a special interest in you, for months, unknown to you. You’d just assumed they were being friendly. 

Of course, their friendship was a given and if you’d desired nothing past that they would have accepted it, but you were glad there was even an option for something past that. This was something you never could’ve imagined. 

“Is it your first time at one of these?” Lysandra purred, running her hand down your arm. You turned to fix your eyes on the beauty, biting down on your bottom lip and nodding. She pried your lip away from your teeth with her thumb, running her finger across your bottom lip. “You’re quite the catch,” she winked and stood, extending her hand towards you. “Let me help,” she offered. 

Help? Perhaps help smooth things over, make it a tad less awkward for you. 

You took her hand, one of the easiest decisions of the night. 

The room quieted as you stood, as Lysandra’s hands tugged at the thin straps on your shoulders, slowly lowering the fabric to expose you to the room, inch by inch. 

As all of their attention slowly fixed on you, you felt yourself grow bolder inside, more sure and certain that you could do this. The attention, especially from such an attractive room of individuals, was captivating. 

Aelin beckoned you forward, a Queen summoning a subject, when your dress hit the floor, soft fabric pooling around your feet. There was a slightly impatient lilt to her eyes that thrilled you. 

“Go on,” Lysandra encouraged you. You sent a sheepish and thankful smile over your shoulder, you hadn’t realized you’d been stuck standing still. She gently pressed between your shoulder blades and you began moving. 

Soft carpet caressed your feet, cushioning every step to be as light as any Fae warriors. It was ages and eternity before you finally arrived in front of Aelin, who stood as you approached. 

“Hello lovely,” she murmured, sweeping your hair away from your face, “we’ve been hoping you’d show up at one of these for a while.” 

“I don’t know why I waited.” 

Your answer earned you a grin of approval, and she gripped your chin between her thumb and forefinger, tilting head slightly as she brushed her lips against yours, the barest hint of a kiss, before trailing across your skin, leaving burning embers and flushed flesh in her wake. 

Her lips hovered what must be a hairsbreadth from your ear, “I’d like to see you with Rowan and Fenrys. If you’re agreeable.” Oh you were agreeable. You nodded. She tutted. “I need to hear you say yes,” 

“Yes,” you said, right on beat. 

Aelin drew back and let out a low whistle. 

You bit back a chuckle, especially as Fenrys grumbled, “I’m not a dog.” 

You caught Rowan sending him a side-ways are you sure about that glance, and dodging the other male’s elbow. 

Not giving you too much time to overthink, they each bracketed you, hands running up and down your abdomen, thighs, sides of your breasts, shoulders, touching each bit of you they could reasonably reach with a painful gentleness. Touches grew firmer, longer, rougher, breaths grew shorter, turned into pants. 

“Can you take both of us, beautiful?” Rowan asked, kissing the space below your ear. 

You nodded eagerly, adding a breath ‘yes’.

From the corner of your eye, you spotted Lysandra and Lorcan, Elide and Aedion coupled off, side by side. 

“Focus on us, I know they’re very pretty,” Fenrys chided, his mouth turned up at the corners, the beginning of a smirk. Aedion caught your eye and winked before refocusing on the small female on her knees in front of him. 

Fenrys walked backwards, tugging you with him until his knees hit the edge of the bed, letting you crawl on top of him, bodies sharing heat, skin lighting on fire where it met. Your lips gently sucked and nipped their way down his neck, small groans leaving his lips. The sound was music to your ears. 

He ran his hands up and down your sides, as if he was drinking in the feel of you, soaking up every bit of you he could get. 

You felt... fuck, Rowan was big, bigger than you expected against your back. 

“We’ll make it fit,” you heard him behind you, a hint of amusement in his tone. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud. You told him as much. 

“You didn’t, he’s just arrogant,” Fenrys said, before recapturing your attention with his mouth, lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and scraping lightly with his teeth. 

He was good. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You were sandwiched between two people who knew exactly what they were doing. You arched away from him as Rowan’s fingers grazed over the bundle of nerves between your thighs, hitting another pleasure center. 

Fenrys’s hands gently but firmly gripped your hips, sliding you up far enough to hover over him, pressing against your entrance.

Too slowly, he lowered you onto himself, eyes daring you to complain. You took it as a challenge, using the muscles in your legs to slow it even further, squeezing in a way you knew would drive him wild. Sure enough, a hiss left his lips and you hid your smirk. 

“Clever witch,” he groaned, before tangling one hand in the back of your hair, the other braced against your hip as he slammed himself home. 

You gasped, breath catching, trying to imagine fitting another inside of you. It wasn’t possible. Couldn’t be. 

But ... as Fenrys began to move, as you gave yourself over to the feeling you felt a greedy little thing inside of you rise, wanting more, knowing more was available. 

“Hold,” you heard the command in Aelin’s tone and Fenrys paused. Practiced almost. They’d had a plan, you realized. 

The Queen, your Queen approached you from the side, her eyes darting frequently to your lips. You imagined how hers would feel. Would they be soft? Would she be firm or gentle? Full of passion or caution? 

You didn’t have to imagine for long. 

Pure passion. 

As she was captivating you, you felt another pressure between your legs. A hand, fingers sliding inside of you, stretching you. You winced. 

Aelin didn’t miss a thing and pulled back slightly. “You’re doing wonderful, beautiful,” the praise lit something inside of you, soothed a bit of the pain you were feeling down there. If your Queen was telling you that, surely you had to believe it, it had to be the truth. 

Another finger was pressed inside of you. Discomfort, but not quite pain. 

Aelin caught your attention again. You felt Fenrys’s hair brush against your shoulder, his teeth nipping at your neck. 

Someone else was running fingers through your hair. Lysandra. Purring words of comfort into your ear, telling you how fucking incredible you looked right now. 

Confidence filled you with her words, with all of their words. 

When Rowan's cock finally notched against your entrance, he murmured, “the first bit is the worst,” and didn’t give you more time to think. 

Mouth parted in a silent scream, your head dropped forward against Fenrys’s shoulder. 

Their arms tightened around you holding you perfectly still. 

“Can I move?” You heard the barely controlled restraint in Rowan’s voice. 

“Yes,” you managed to say. 

“Deep breaths,” Fenrys said as the other male pushed. 

It burnt. It stung. Gods, it fucking hurt more than his fingers possibly could. But with the pain came that beautiful edge of pleasure you were able to ride. 

That pain slowly ebbed away as he inched inside of you, as Fenrys moved, as Aelin’s fingers toyed with your nipples while they could, before the two males really started moving in unison and she retreated to watch. 

The three of you certainly put on a show that night. 

-

kin ktobertaglist: @fourthwing4ever @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @lilah-asteria @nestaismommy @erencvlt @daycourtofficial @emidpsandia @thelov3lybookworm @hannzoaks @callsigns-haze

general taglist: @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @nestaismommy @erencvlt @book-obsessed124 @callsigns-haze @littlest-w01f

[rizzoreads88]

✨You can love Elain AND Gwyn…

You can love Azriel AND Lucien…

You can love Nesta AND Feyre…

You can love Tamlin AND Rhysand…

You can love Chaol AND Rowan…

You can love Aelin AND Manon…

You can Love Cassian AND Eris

You can love whoever AND whoever else…✨

Everyone is going to like/dislike different characters and that’s ok too but I constantly see a lot of people pit other characters against each other and for the life of me I don’t know why.

Every single one of SJMs character has their good/bad qualities and moments.(except the actual villains). They are all flawed and relatable in different areas.

[violetasteracademic]

On Mate Behavior: Elriel

So, when it comes to Azriel's mate behavior, I would say the most commonly discussed point (which I definitely agree with) to *disprove* that Azriel displays any mate behavior towards Gwyn is his overall calm demeanor and focus on Eris when the Valkyrie are kidnapped in the middle of the night and dropped into the Blood Rite.

However, there is another example that additionally highlights the lack of "mate behavior" in the bonus chapter, and I truly don't see it come up that often, though I think it is even more telling!

When he meets Gwyn's gaze, and that bloody memory of when he first "met" her (if you would like to call that their meeting) flashes, he is otherwise completely unruffled. He simply reflects on Gwyn's growth, and two seconds later, is snorting and having an easy, playful conversation.

While this certainly points to their comfortability and fun banter that they share, it does not scream *mate behavior.*

ToG and CC spoilers ahead

I think about Rowan seeing Aelin's ruined back for the first time, and being so overcome with anger at discovering the violence that had been enacted on her that he took to the skies to get control of his violent instincts:

I think of Cassian in his bonus chapter with Nesta- going into a rage as he smelled Nesta's fear while she recalled Tomas's attempted assault. He would have gone to kill him right then, I have no doubt:

I think of Ruhn hating Lidia, being sick over discovering the female he had fallen for was The Hind. And yet, when Pollux lays a hand on her, he was ready to rip out his throat for hurting Lidia. He couldn't understand how he could hate her and need her and want to kill for her at the same time:

So I do think it's interesting that in comparison to the to the other mated males who get a POV and an inside look into their heads while they reflect on trauma their mates have been through (even before knowing they are mates, which is the case in all three of these examples) they are completely unhinged. And yet we get this pointed moment where Azriel actively reflects on Gwyn's trauma, the absolute horrors that had been done to her and... nothing. A snort, and a little bit of form correction and teasing.

Meanwhile in this same book, Elain gets called boring and Azriel's shadows are like hoe who do we need to mf-ing end right tf now:

Azriel has already established that he believes the Cauldron could be wrong. While I personally disagree that there is foreshadowing to Azriel and Gwyn being mates, even in trying to give it a fair and unbiased look and say okay- could they be mates? I still wind up drawing the conclusion that even if they are, it would mean as little to Azriel as Elain's mating bond currently means to her.

I am personally super open minded about whether or not Azriel and Elain are true mates. I think a reveal that they are could be lovely. I also think them choosing each other above all, even fate, would be lovely.

But there is simply no denying that these two already have a set up plotline of questioning the Cauldron, and the only two characters *acting* like mates in this scenario are Az and Elain.

As always, I am Lucien and Gwyn positive even though I ship Elriel, so be kind in the comments! But I just really don't see how this could possibly play out any other way. Azriel has had too many on page opportunities, even from his personal POV, to display mate behavior towards Gwyn and there is nary a lick. It's just... not how a lead up to a mate reveal typically goes. So the pure, undiluted facts are that even if you think Sarah is a "fated mate" author above all, she is not treating these characters as she usually does. And that is noteworthy.

Thank you for joining me on this dissertation!

[sparrowinthewater]

This has probably been pointed out before but i’d like to reiterate it 😀

Regarding Azriel’s ‘unbothered’ reaction towards finding out that Gwyn got thrown into the Blood Rite….. Can we just agree that Cassian was not a reliable narrator at that particular point of time?

When the IC gathered at Emerie’s wrecked place:

Cassian couldn’t breathe. Hadn’t been able to breathe or speak for long minutes now….

They were speaking, Azriel with some urgency, but Cassian didnt hear him, heard nothing but the roaring in his head…

And he could do nothing to interfere, not without damning them all. His hands shook. “So, what- we just sit on our asses for a week and wait?” The idea was abhorrent. Feyre gripped his trembling fingers, squeezing tight. “Did you- Cassian, weren’t you listening at all when we got here?” No, he’d barely heard anything.

Cassian was distraught and in his fucking head at that point of time, bro was STRESSED. Do you think he actually has the mental capacity to take notice of the others’ reactions? I actually felt it was pretty deliberate of Sarah to leave out Azriel’s reactions. Even when Cassian said to Rhys “Winnow me to her. Az, you find Emerie and Gwyn.”, Sarah did not give us anything regarding Azriel’s facial expression, his body language, na-da. Because it would have been a delicate thing to write without giving much away.

And after having a few days to calm the storm in his head, Cassian says to Azriel amidst their spy work, “There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her, to Emerie and Gwyn”, Cassian actually took noticed that the shadows deepened around Azriel, his siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. And Azriel, the big bad scary shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court actually stutters with his response: “You-we-trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”

In addition, there’s just a distinct way that Sarah loves to use when writing about her mates: The male never coddles the female. Rhys had faith in Feyre’s abilities when they were under the mountain. And when she joined the IC, he lets her manifest her abilities without worrying and cooing over her. Rowan was so damn strict on Aelin’s training in Heir of Fire, never pulling his punches when they fought with each other. And despite his initial strong protective reaction, Cassian decides to trust Nesta’s abilities to protect herself in the rite after his emotions settle down.

This is exactly why I don’t think the lack of notable reactions that Azriel displayed towards Gwyn being thrown into the rite translate to that he doesn’t care about her or that they are not mates.

*mic drops*

[leiawritesstories]

Horsey

Rowaelin Month 2024, Day 5: Birthdays @rowaelinscourt

Word count: 954

Warnings: so so SO much fluff teehee

inspired by the work of @sassyhobbits. i could not resist. enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Aelin crooned, pretending not to notice the big purple bow that bobbed behind Lorcan’s leg. 

“I right here!” The giddy exclamation was coupled with a blur of purple silk and dark curls as newly five-year-old Marion Salvaterre Lochan launched herself into her auntie’s arms. “Hi Auntie!” 

Aelin beamed and hugged her niece. “Happy birthday, Mari darling! Are you having the best day and eating all the yummy cake?” Marion nodded excitedly, clapping her little hands. She was a perfect image of her mother, but she had Lorcan’s sharp dark eyes. 

“Auntie Lyssie gave me pretty bwace-wet!” The small girl proudly held out her right arm. “See?” 

“Ooh, yes, very pretty.” Aelin kissed the top of Marion’s head. “Alright, honey, why don’t you go find your da? I think he’s looking for you again, birthday girl.” 

“Okay!” Marion ran over to Lorcan, her little purple silk shoes pattering on the tile of the Lochan manor’s sunlit ballroom. “Hi Dada!” Lorcan lifted his daughter into his arms, whispering something that was probably disgustingly sweet into her ear. Aelin chose not to let her Fae ears pick it up. 

Elide crossed the room and stopped to kiss her girl’s rosy cheeks before she came to Aelin. “Thank you so much for being here,” she said, beaming. “I know you’re terribly busy with running a kingdom.” 

“She has people for that,” Rowan murmured, just loud enough for them to hear. Aelin swatted his chest, sending him a long-suffering look. 

So uncivilized.

He smirked. That’s why I don’t take on court duties.

Maybe I should have commanded you to keep an eye on things while I went to my beautiful niece’s birthday celebration. 

And spent half the treasury on gifts? I think not. He dodged the elbow she angled at his ribs. Ah-ah, love. I know the way you move.

She gave him a saccharine smile. As do I, buzzard, she all but purred. 

Elide sighed loudly. “Will the two of you stop flirting with each other right in front of everyone’s poor eyes? It’s bad enough how disgustingly in love you are already.” 

“Says the woman whose husband willingly gave up five hundred years of warrior high life to play housemaid and change diapers,” Aelin returned, winking at her dear friend. 

The petite woman snorted. “Lorcan knows damn well he’s better off here than he ever would be whacking himself off in some army tent.” 

“Godsdamned right I do.” Lorcan covered Marion’s eyes and bent nearly in half to kiss his wife. 

Aelin groaned and covered her own eyes. “Gods above.” She tugged subtly on the blood oath before Lorcan could show her a vulgar gesture. “Now now, Salvaterre, there are children present.” At her side, Rowan snickered, amused at Lorcan’s grumpiness. 

“Why don’t we give our favorite niece her birthday present?” he suggested, smoothing over the situation before either Lorcan or Aelin could pester the other. 

Marion clapped and exclaimed her excitement. “Yes yes yes! I wanna present, Unc’a Ro!” 

Rowan laughed. “Alright, Mari. Should we go outside? I think there might be something out there for you.”

Led by Aelin, and with Marion still sitting comfortably in her father’s arms, the handful of them went out into the courtyard, where a small, intricately worked wooden trunk sat on the stones. Marion gasped and squirmed, and when Lorcan set her down, she ran over to the box and opened it up. Her dark eyes went huge with wonder, and she lifted a length of lavender silk and gauze out. 

“It’s a pretty dress!” she screeched, jumping excitedly. “Yay!” She brought the dress to her mother, who laid it carefully over one arm, and sprinted for her aunt and uncle, who showered her with hugs and kisses before letting her go back to her favorite spot in Lorcan’s arms. 

“There’s one more little present,” Aelin said, winking at Marion. 

The small girl’s eyes grew even wider. “Really?” 

“Really.” Aelin grinned conspiratorially. “Let’s go around the corner, shall we?” They walked towards the stables, and Rowan’s confusion crowded her mind. 

What did you get her, Aelin?

Something she’ll be able to love for a very long time.

That…is not very descriptive.

Of course not. She chuckled at his confusion and grandly slid the stable doors open. “Happy birthday, my little love!” All the sets of eyes peered into the stable, and shock bolted like lightning through everyone except the queen of Terrasen. 

Because there was an Asterion standing in the Lochan stables. 

Elide turned slowly towards Aelin. “Did you…No, you most certainly did not. I’m dreaming.” 

“Did you seriously get our daughter an Asterion?” Disbelieving, Lorcan asked the question Elide couldn’t vocalize. 

“She said she wanted a pony!” Aelin shrugged. “The royal stables have been taking wonderful care of our Asterions, and this young mare is three years old, fully trained, and probably the sweetest and most evenly tempered Asterion you could ask for.” 

“HORSEY!!!” Marion squealed, instantly in love with her birthday gift from Auntie Aelin. 

The simple, childish, gleeful declaration made the situation seem simple. Despite Rowan’s look that screamed we will be discussing this later, even he applauded when Lorcan set Marion astride the back of the young Asterion mare, which didn’t so much as twitch at the feeling of a passenger. She was so ecstatic that Elide just shook her head as she hugged Aelin. 

“You are far too extravagant, but we love you,” she whispered. “Thank you.” 

“Anything for my favorite and only niece.” Aelin had a soft, faraway look in her eyes as she watched Marion gently pat the horse’s mane, dreaming of the day one of her own children might do the same thing. “We love you too.”

~~~

Tags:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@mariaofdoranelle

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

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@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@renxzs

@anarchiii

@fauna-flora11

@cynthiesjmxazrielslover

[merymoonbeam]

A voice in the void, a secret and a quiet dreamer

Rowaelin:

"But I sent you to Wendlyn for the healing. And so you would ... find him. The one who had been waiting so long for you." Aelin's heart cracked. "Rowan." Elena nodded. "He was a voice in the void, a secret, silent dreamer. And so were his companions. But the Fae Prince, he was..." Aelin reined in her sob. "I know. I've known for a long time." "I wanted you to know that joy, too," Elena whispered. "How- ever briefly." “I did,” Aelin managed to say. “Thank you.

And we have Elriel:

The golden necklace seemed ordinary -- its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty. 

She arched a brow. He explained, “They pull people together. And bring them joy. They are a time to pause and reflect and gather, and those are never bad things.” Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers. Azriel’s face remained neutral.

And I will explain the "a voice in the void" part.

Elain was lost to the murky realm after the cauldron and being made. We now know it is because she was a seer.

Azriel had been the one who "freed" her from that murky realm.

But more importantly...before she was even freed from that murky realm, Azriel had focused her in a way if you look at these two scenes:

Rhys gave her a sharp look. But Elain said quietly, “The queen might come.” Silence. Elain was staring at the unlit fireplace, eyes lost to that vague murkiness. “What queen,” Nesta said, more tightly than she usually spoke to our sister. “The one who was cursed.” “Cursed by the Cauldron,” I clarified to Nesta, pushing off the archway. “When it threw its tantrum after you … left.” “No.” Elain studied me, then her. “Not that one. The other.” Nesta took a steadying breath, opening her mouth to either whisk Elain upstairs or move on. But Azriel asked softly, taking a single step over the threshold and into the sitting room, “What other?” Elain’s brows twitched toward each other. “The queen—with the feathers of flame.” The shadowsinger angled his head. Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?” “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

Let alone this is the "you are a seer" scene which freed elain from the murky realm. The "unblinking" part is quiet important. Whenever Elain has a vision or talks in riddles she is blinking rabidly. A few examples...

So as you can see...she is looking at Azriel "unblinkingly"

Another scene is this:

But Elain shook me off, heading back to the stairs. She said as she climbed the first steps, “I can hear her—crying.” I gripped the bottom post of the banister. “Who?” “Everyone thinks she’s dead.” Elain kept walking. “But she’s not. Only—different. Changed. As I was.” “Who,” I pushed. But Elain continued up the stairs, that shawl drooping down her back. Nesta stalked from Cassian’s side to approach my own. We both sucked in a breath, to say what, I didn’t know but— “What did you see,” Azriel said, and I tried not to flinch as I found him at my other side, not having seen him move. Again. Elain paused halfway up the stairs. Slowly, she turned to look back at him. “I saw young hands wither with age. I saw a box of black stone. I saw a feather of fire land on snow and melt it.”

Feyre asks and asks...nothing. Azriel asks and she stops to look back at him.

And this whole parallel hits even harder when you think about how Rowan had a mate...but it was fake and there are MANY parallels with elriel and rowaelin. Such as these BANGERS.

So yeah...I think this is my top parallel find. I'm retiring. I cant top this.

[lovemyromance]

So do you think Azriel & Elain are mates or not? You said before you want them to choose each other but kep sying theyre mates ?

Personally: I want them to choose each other over a mating bond. I want Elain to chose love over a mating bond. I want her to pick him, choose him, love him.

Azriel, in Elain's book:

But, that being said...

I think SJM will be unable to resist making Elain & Azriel also mates. Whether that means the mating bond with Lucien is fake (a la Rowan/Aelin), or that Elain has two mating bonds because she was the cauldron's favorite (I lean more towards this theory actually), idk.

Azriel has shown a lot of protectiveness and clear desire for Elain. It's definitely romantic interest, and some might even categorize it as mate behavior. Like if Lucien had never announced the mating bond, I would 100% say Azriel is her mate because he's shown way more "mate behavior" towards Elain. Like the fact that he was drawn to Elain as early as ACOMAF, that he seemed to anticipate her needs best in ACOWAR, discovered her powers, noticed she was missing and rescued her from Hybern, TT, and the clear protectiveness and desire for her in ACOFAS & ACOSF...there's more than enough to say he exhibits mate behavior towards her. The fact that he can also smell the Elucien bond, and can't stand it - that is also weird. When has anyone been able to smell an unaccepted mating bond - other than Amren (When she had her full powers)? It seems so so odd.

It's also kinda sus to me that out of all of SJM's fated mate pairings, Elucien is the only pair of mates where the bond was revealed immediately and not after the female had enough time to actually fall for the MMC naturally......

So, while I would like Elain & Azriel to choose each other over a mating bond, I think because this is SJM she's going to throw in a twist that reveals them to have been mates this entire time.

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 27

Fic masterlist

Guys it’s 3 a.m. I’m posting my 1st draft and hoping for the best love y’all

Warnings: NSFW, Remelle and other bombs

Words: 3,7k

Aelin could kill Rowan right now, as he placed featherlight kisses on her shoulder.

“Go away,” she grumbled while burrowing herself further under the covers.

“Baby…” Rowan kissed her neck now, tugging her body into the hard lines of his. “You were the one who—“

“Don’t.” With graceless movements, she turned to be face-to-face with him. “You’re being a jerk right now, you know that?”

He chuckled, amusement crinkling his eyes. “I’m a jerk for doing as I’m told?”

“Alexa, what time is it?”

“It’s 4:48 a.m.,” Alexa replied.

Aelin readjusted the covers so the only thing visible was her glare.

Yes, it was technically her idea, but how dare he follow up with her plan. Sometimes 24 hours a day is not enough to raise a five-year-old, take care of yourself, work, and romance your partner—hence why last night, when Aelin was so tired her eyes felt glued together, she told Rowan to wake her up earlier to have sex.

Yes, they’ve struggled to find time for each other the last couple of weeks, but that does not excuse Rowan for agreeing to wake Aelin up before 5 a.m. He should know better.

She squeezed her eyes shut, his arms an okay weight around her—she was still mad—as Aelin tried to fall back asleep. And failed. She tossed and turned on bed, chasing her own sleep, to no avail.

“Fireheart,” Rowan said after she wiggled for the millionth time.

She hid her face on his chest and groaned. “I can’t sleep.”

“Does that mean we’re having sex?”

Her glare was answer enough.

A chuckle. “C’mere,” Rowan said, and combed his fingers through her hair, soothing her with gentle caresses.

Shit, those were always nice. She let out a satisfied sigh. “I love you.”

“I thought you were mad at me.”

“But I’ll love you again after 7, so I might as well say it now.”

A pleased hum. “I love you.” He kissed her cheek. “I love you.” Her jaw. “I love you.” Her neck.

Aelin shivered. “You better.”

“Is that so?” Rowan said before turning his pecks into an open-mouthed kiss.

Her breath hitched, and she he arched her neck further to him. Once Rowan had so easily ignited her desire in a way only he could, Aelin grasped the back of his head and said, “May I?”

“So polite,” he said with a satisfied smirk, so Aelin lifted Rowan’s T-shirt she wore and directed his mouth to her bare breast.

Without ceremony, he licked her tit and sucked the tender skin into his mouth, earning a moan from her.

“You alright, Ae?” The glint in his eyes said he liked it too much.

“A bit sensitive,” she rasped. “Must be gettin’ my period soon.”

Rowan hummed and slid his full hand up her other breast, gently squeezing her nipple between his knuckles as he did it, focused on Aelin’s needy reactions. “Not too much?”

“Go on.”

He did, with gentle caresses at first that easily evolved into rough massages and flicks of his tongue against her. Aelin was taken over by Rowan above her and the waves of pleasure he gave her, squirming under his touch to his delight.

When Aelin was certain she could die from this nipple play alone, Rowan moved down her body, hooked her legs over his shoulder, and licked a strip between her folds without ceremony. Aelin’s muffled groans intensified when he applied more pressure with his flat tongue to her clit, and by the time he teased her entrance with his finger, it became a full curse.

“You wanna wake our kid at 5, hun?” Rowan said with no small amount of amusement.

Shit. Not now, and not in the next few hours, if they were lucky. Aelin would combust soon, either from an orgasm or frustration if the first didn’t happen.

“That’s what I thought.” He pecked a freckle on her hipbone. “Be a good girl for me, will ya?”

Aelin nodded, and felt herself melt and tense at once from Rowan’s tongue back on her pussy.

He worked her with nice and slow strokes, applying just the right amount of pressure in all the right places—how his tongue fell against her clit, or his fingers on her hips—Rowan knew her body that well. Aelin was nothing but the embodiment of sweet surrender, letting him set the pace and meeting him with needy jolts of her hips and soft whimpers that tightened his hold on her.

“Fuck, Ro,” she pleaded. No matter how much she muffled them, the sounds of her pleasure still echoed through the room. “You eat me out so good, babe.”

“Quiet, love,” he whispered while moving to muffle her moans with his mouth, leaving his fingers to work her cunt—two inside, thumb on her clit.

She felt her own taste on his tongue, and all off a sudden it was too much. Too much of him, too much of how he made her feel, and her pleasure felt like dam about to burst.

“It’s—“ Aelin gasped, that building tension in her hips tighter each moment. “It’s your fault I’m loud.” Her breath hitched. “You know it is.”

“Fuck- I know.” His kiss was quick and rough this time. “I know, baby.”

Aelin’s orgasm came in a slow burst, carefully built by Rowan’s fingers. Her gut tightened, back arched, and she came undone with stifled noises under him.

Rowan watched it with the same kind of focus he always did, enthralled and a bit wrecked himself by the results of his work.

After the crash, he nestled her against his chest with such tenderness, it was a startling contrast to the version of him that usually manhandled her in bed.

Aelin sighed against his chest, feeling dozy. “Just you wait for me to fuck your brains out, Rowan Whitethorn.”

He shushed her. “Later.”

She hummed questioningly, eyes heavier each moment.

“You wanted to sleep,” he whispered before giving her a forehead kiss.

Oh. She’d forgotten about it halfway through his tit play, though it does feel nice, his hand in her hair like this, after an orgasm with the sun still out.

It kinda makes her body feel a bit heavier, especially the eyelids.

˜˜

Aelin might as well be sleeping still, now that she was currently hearing a famous phrase from some nightmares of hers.

“Mommy, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeease,” Maisie said, for the millionth time in the last half-hour.

Bringing the kid to do groceries was a lose-lose situation: Aelin was either denying her candy or foods with a cartoon character in the packaging while simultaneously avoiding a tantrum, or freaking out because where the hell did my kid run off to if she’s not harassing me for candy.

This was of the reasons why Aelin and Rowan preferred taking her to the big convenience store closest to their house—that was big enough to look like a mini supermarket—Maisie didn’t have much lengths to run off here; the other reason being the proximity and how much they dreaded Doranelle City’s traffic.

There was the downside of most certainly meeting someone from work since they were neighbors in one big military housing area, but you win some, you lose some.

Maisie was still giving her puppy eyes, one hand holding a pack of gummy bears, and a hand basket she picked at front with sly intentions in the other.

Squinting her eyes at this cunning little thing she birthed, Aelin picked the pack from Maisie’s hand. The little girl watched with blatant anticipation as her mom examined this specific request.

Fuck, the kid picked the good shit this time. Maybe if Aelin and Maisie shared… no.

“I don’t think so, Maisy Daisy,” she said with a kind of heartbreak her daughter wouldn’t understand.

The girl’s face fell. “But I said please!”

“I know, honey, you were very polite about it, but—” Because Aelin was really looking forward for those gummy bears too, an idea came up. “I’ll let you choose between this and the sour one.”

The little girl frowned at the candy already secured in her basket. Maisie didn’t exactly like this, but it was enough to make her weight her options and courses of action. Then, she tilted her chin up in a defiant manner and took the candy back from Aelin’s hand.

“Are you putting it back on the shelf?”

“I’m shopping with Daddy.”

Weird. She must be really upset with Aelin with make such a request. Maisie might not know how to read big words properly, but she was an expert already on what to ask each parent to get exactly what she wants—Aelin didn’t trust Rowan to deny his daughter a new dog or a trip to Disneyland, but a sugar overdose? There was a reason why their kid initially chose to stay close to Aelin’s cart, not her dad’s.

Still, she made sure Maisie put the gummy bears back where they belonged, then escorted her to Rowan’s cart.

“You’re done already?” he asked before placing a kiss on Aelin’s cheek.

“Nope, she’s just upset she doesn’t have pediatric diabetes yet.”

Rowan chuckled, gave Aelin a forehead kiss, and resumed his shopping.

She left them to it and ventured to the fruit aisle, wondering about how they’ve been doing two separate groceries for the same family, along with: twice the electricity bill, twice the cleaning chores and house maintenance, twice the streaming—those greedy little bitches—subscriptions.

But that’s how they’ve decided to do so far, so Aelin focused back on the fruit, making some mental math on how much she should buy for one day and a half—she’d be staying at Rowan’s for three days after that time, according to Maisie’s custody schedule, so the fruit would rotten before she got back.

Aelin eyed the bananas again—they were being sold in hands of six. There was absolutely no way the three of them would tackle six bananas in less than 48h. If they were together in one house, just one banana hand would suffice. The small bunch would feel like enough, and there’d be no need to separate the bananas.

Aelin could break it and leave the other half at Rowan’s place, yes, but she liked to keep the bananas together, the hand whole. As if it wasn’t enough that they’ve been separated from the tree before the bananas were mature enough to be a proper hand, now the bananas she had were to be broken into smaller pieces.

A little lump swelled on Aelin’s throat, and she looked up, taking a deep breath. She would not cry. Not here, not now. Not ever, if a banana was the subject of her tears.

“So.” A comfortable weight fell on her back. “Are we just staring at the bananas, or…?”

Aelin chuckled, hoping it didn’t come out too watery. She saw Maisie choosing yoghurts down the aisle and leaned her head again Rowan’s shoulder, finally able to quiet her mind once he was near.

“I wanna move in together.”

And just like that, Aelin popped that question at the fruit section of the convenience store. Peak romance.

“I don’t know, Fireheart.” Rowan let out his pre-sass sigh. “I think I’m too comfortable mowing two lawns and ironing my uniform twice because it got rumpled in my bag.”

Aelin chuckled. She squeezed his hand, he squeezed it back, and apparently the deal was sealed.

“Is that why you were… having a moment?”

Rowan knew better than to drop an ‘about to cry’. Neither of them were criers, and no matter how far they’ve come with therapy, Aelin was still very private about her crying.

“It was because of the bananas. Don’t ask.”

Following her order, he fished a familiar pack of gummy bears from inside his cart. “Someone hid this between my stuff. She’s trying to outsmart us, Ae.”

Aelin laughed and took the candy from his hand. “Her problem that she thinks she’s the only smart person in that house.”

“She won’t outsmart you, though—I hope. You’ve probably tried every trick in the book your entire childhood.”

Yes, though while Aelin had two gay uncles that fell into parenthood by accident and were permissive out of pity for losing her parents too young, Maisie had two living parents so intent on parenting her, they tore each other apart.

With a sigh that came from the weariest corners of her soul, she repeated that same old thing inside her head: one day, Maisie would be glad she didn’t develop pediatric diabetes at five years old—that day was not today.

They looked over at her, and she was still at the yoghurt section, sliding her index finger over the refrigerator’s glass door with intense concentration.

“You think she’s reading?”

Their baby was about to finish preschool. They were finding it hard to get used to Maisie trying to decode letters and syllables she finally understood, her little finger underlining words as if it was a requirement for reading.

“Yeah,” Rowan replied with an awed look. “Did you get everything?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Me too.” He looked over at where Maisie was again. “Do you think I should…?”

“Don’t interrupt her!” Aelin whisper-yelled. She waved the gummy bears at him. “I’m gonna put those back. Wait here.”

Aelin did as she told, taking some time to look at the women’s toiletries on sale before meeting Rowan again.

But maybe she took too much time, because when Aelin came back, there was a blonde woman clinging on Rowan’s forearm like a monkey to a banana tree. He looked uncomfortable,

There was something familiar about this woman, but Aelin couldn’t place it in the time she rushed to join them.

“Dr. Galathynius!” the woman said with faux enthusiasm at the same time Aelin recognized those cerulean blue eyes.

She stopped on her tracks, realization washing her over like a tsunami.

This was the skank she caught flirting with Rowan last year.

Also, one of the doctors from Air Force General. A dermatologist, why they rarely crossed paths—her department was so peaceful it felt like a whole different hospital.

Dr. Remelle Wiselheade could as well be part of the long-gone Doranellian nobility—it didn’t change the fact that she had her chickenish long fingers clawed around Rowan.

“Oh, hi.” Without faking enthusiasm, Aelin extracted Remelle’s hand from her man’s arm, but not without making the point of taking a look at the wedding band on her finger. “How’s your husband doing?”

Remelle didn’t answer. Instead, her eyes were between Rowan, Aelin and Maisie—who looked like a mix of them both. When the pieces fell into place in her mind, she widened her eyes in surprise with a poisonous smile. “I’m finally putting faces to the stories now! It’s hard to believe you’re the reason for all that fuss,” she told Aelin.

The story, meaning whatever people said about her past with Rowan, especially the context in which Maisie came to be. Aelin wasn’t ashamed of it, but the way Remelle brought it up made her want to claw the woman’s eyes out.

“We should go.” Rowan’s jaw was tight, and Aelin had to give it to him: he really did try hard to act polite when Maisie was near. Mala knew this wasn’t his best skill.

“Of course.” Remelle aimed a sly grin at Rowan and said, “Nice seeing you again.”

Rowan blinked, his mouth ajar. Aelin thought he had frozen for feeling annoyed or offended at the blatant flirting, but he tilted his head in pure confusion and said, “Have we met before?”

“Of course, silly!” She casually pointed her index finger at Aelin. “And I’ve been meaning to stop by at ortho! I’ve been getting some awful scar management cases from your post-op patients.”

“I’m so surprised to hear that,” Aelin replied, her jaw hurting from the fakest smile she’s ever wore—it was either that or clock the bitch in the face. The worst part was that she wasn’t sure if Remelle was lying to get under her skin, or if she was getting called out for the dumbasses from her department.

“Honestly, I don’t know what could’ve had happened. Maybe I didn’t double-check my resident’s sutures because I was distracted by the huge pimples on my patient’s face.”

Not a chance this would’ve happened, but Aelin still did a mental note to talk about this to her residents. Possibly with a scolding involved.

Remelle continued, “I don’t mean to tell you how to perform your surgeries, but—“

“You do surgee too?” Maisie asked, only now paying attention to the adults.

The woman frowned at the little girl, taken aback. “Well, no, but—“

“Uncle Orlon did a surgee too, he—“

“He didn’t do the surgery, honey, he—“ Aelin interrupted.

“He had a little bump sucked out of his butt!” Maisie shouted with newfound excitement after listening to the grown-up talk for so long.

Remelle was dead on her tracks, eyes widened with horror at the incredibly unpolished little girl.

“It’s true!” Maisie continued, flailing her arms around with big gestures because she thought the woman’s shock was out of doubt. “He had hemmy-roys! I know because I went to his house and he had a pillow with a hole in it, so I asked him, Uncle Orlon, why is your pillow so unfluffy? And he told me…”

Maisie went on and on, not caring about anyone’s sensibilities as she told Remelle about Orlon’s hemorrhoids in great detail. Fascinating subject for a five-year-old, or maybe just Aelin’s five-year-old. The woman looked frozen, but Aelin refused to believe it was disgust—Remelle might be a dermatologist, but she did go to med school after all. There was no way she was disgusted at a kid’s story about an elderly relative’s hemorrhoids.

“…And now he’s doing a lot better, but his husband has to put cream on his bum every day, and he needs to eat a lot of fruit so it doesn’t hurt when he poops.”

Remelle blinked. “I see.”

“And now we really have to go,” Rowan said. He couldn’t sound less apologetic. “Mais, wanna see how fast you can get to the cashier?”

“Race you!” She shouted and shot down the aisle.

Her parents quickly bid their farewells. Remelle just mumbled a goodbye, the same weirded-out look still on her face when they last saw her.

“Where’re my gummy bears?” Maisie asked at the checkout.

Mother and daughter stared at each other. Maisie knew those gummy bears she smuggled in her dad’s cart weren’t approved, and she knew her mother knew what she did. Aelin knew Maisie knew she knew. On the sidelines of the interaction, Rowan pretended he didn’t know what was going on.

Neither of the three dared say a word. The ride home was remarkably peaceful.

˜˜ “Rowan.” Aelin tried to sound stern, but she liked it too much when he was being playful like this.

In her kitchen, he held her hostage in his arms while she protested, saying she needed to put the groceries away. Her captor was unrelenting, kissing her neck and telling her he needed her now.

“We should meet halfway,” he conceded. “We put away just the fridge stuff and go to your room. How about that?”

However, they had already used most of Maisie’s very limited screen time to do this quickly at his house, putting away his groceries, then came to her place do the same thing. The kid’s TV show episode could end at any given moment, and Aelin better be done by the time it happens.

When she reminded him as much, his small whine was absolutely adorable.

Rowan was undeterred, though. “We live together now. Don’t I have a say in the house rules?”

No, but that brought a small smile to her lips. “Are you okay, though? With living together now.”

They hadn’t had much to talk about that, and she knew the logistics weren’t simple.

“I want everything, Aelin, and I want it for yesterday.” He shuddered out a long breath, and she tried not to read too much into how he tugged her closer from behind, encasing her in his embrace with one thumb brushing her lower belly. “But some of it is just me—stuff I didn’t get to do. Guilt. I’m still sorting that out. And I’m much more comfortable just following your pace, at least for now.”

“Okay, then.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Aelin sighed. “We have a lot to talk about, but we really do need to put away these.”

He groaned, but picked up a plastic bag to help.

She wiggled her eyebrows. “The sooner we do this, the sooner we sort things out, and the sooner we move in together.”

They worked together in silence, quickly tackling bag after bag so they could repeat the same thing in Rowan’s place.

“Fireheart?” Rowan handed her one bag. “I think this goes in your room.”

“Oh.” Aelin eyed the menstrual pads inside. “I found these on sale, they were such a steal!”

Amusement crinkled his eyes. “That’s great, babe.”

She always perked up when she found pads on sale, Aelin thought as she went to her room. She was terrible at tracking her own period, so she bought pads at random and had a stock ready whenever she needed them.

Aelin opened her ensuite’s cabinet door and—

Weird.

Her stock was nearly overflowing.

Weirdweirdweird. Aelin’s heartbeat shot up before she could properly process what was going on.

She didn’t keep good track of her period, but her pads and tampons always kept to a certain amount, but this… this looked almost as if Aelin hasn’t had her period for a while.

Weird.

Aelin took one step back. Another.

Naps with Fleetfoot. Crying over bananas. After-pizza sickness. Fuck.

Time slowed down and everything felt to physically distant—Aelin felt like she was suspended in a void, no solid footing as she walked to the kitchen where she left her things.

“Where’re you going?” Rowan asked when she had her purse and car keys in hands.

“I forgot to buy something.”

“Want some company?”

“No, I—“ Aelin closed her mouth. Smiled. “Just buying some vitamins,” she half-lied.

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[acourtofquestions]

"Aelin is my heart."

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.16 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

Unsatisfied and frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how she was feeling at the moment. After Eva called her down, Fenrys and Y/n waited until she was gone before adjusting their appearances and leaving her room together. Of course, throughout their little journey towards the sitting room, they could only steal glances at each other because there were servants all around them.

And it was killing her. It was killing her how she couldn't just drag him back into the room and finish what they started but....all this lust started to disappear as soon as they entered the room and she heard the ugly voice of the Book of Breathings hissing.

They entered at the same time as Aelin and Rowan and moved towards the table around which everyone was gathered, their faces frustrated and confused. The book just wouldn't stop hissing and once she reached the table, coming to stand right beside Lysandra, y/n could finally understand what it was talking about.

"They are coming"

"For her, for her"

"They are coming for her"

"Magic is shifting"

"What in the seven hells does any of this mea-" Aedion's words cut off by Yrene shushing him, clearly telling everyone to be quite for a little more.

"They are interfering"

"Gates, shifting"

It was as if there were multiple voices, all hissing the same things at once.

Aelin looked concerned as she looked at no one in particular and asked, "I don't understand. Is it talking about the valg's coming? Because we already know that."

Yrene shook her head, "No. You're right, we do know that already so it must be saying something else. Did you hear what it said? Something about shifting magic and interference."

Elide crossed her arms, gaze still locked on the book. "Yes, but what does that mean? Who is interfering?"

Y/n took a sharp breath in before asking the book directly, "What are you talking about, exactly? Who is interfering? Is this about the valgs?"

And then the book said only two words which were more than enough to answer her questions,

"Death Incarnate."

Y/n may not be the most genius fae to ever exist, but she for sure would know that only one being across any universe has this title.

Her ex friend, her ex high lord, the one who came to her doorstep in the first place.

Rhysand.

Her gaze locked with Lucien's who, seemingly, also understood what was going on as his eyes widened.

Her body suddenly grew colder as she asked with a shaky voice, "Is-is he interfering with the gates? Is he the reason for the shift in magic or whatever? Is- are they coming?"

"Who?"

"What are you talking about, y/n?"

"Who is 'he'?"

She ignored everyone elses questions as her mind was solely focused on the book and what it would say.

"Yes. They are trying to come."

She should feel happy, hopeful. They were coming to get her and once the valgs were killed, the gates were closed, she would get to go back to her world. She should be happy. She should be grateful. But why wasn't she? All she felt was dread and anger at the prospect of having to face them as well.

"Shhh, y/n. I am here, you are safe, just relax."

It wasn't until she felt Fenrys' grounding touch and sweet whispers in her ear that she realized her whole body was shaking as her eyes were distant, ears not hearing anyone but her own thoughts.

"Someone, please get water."

Fenrys led her to the small lounge chair and sat her down as Lysandra gave the cup full of water for her but quickly changed the route and handed it to Fenrys after seeing her shaking hands. The male helped her drink it before placing the cup on a nearby table and holding her hand while caressing her back with the other hand.

Chaol looked at Lucien, "What is going on?"

The prince just sighed before replying, "Death Incarnate is the title of Rhysand. The high lord of the Night Court. And y/n was asking if it was him who was the cause for the shift in the gates, if he and the rest of his court were trying to come here and apparently, according to the book, they are."

Once Lucien's words were out, y/n felt Fenrys' whole body stiffen, his hold on her to tighten as he slowly turned his head sideways to look at her friend.

Manon looked at Lucien, her anger clearly evident in her voice as she asked, "The same court that mistreated her? That lied to her?"

"What are you talking about?" Aedion's voice was full of confusion as he looked at the witch, expecting her to reply.

Manon's gaze came to y/n, her eyes asking for permission to tell them what they need to know. She nodded her head, too tired to argue or think of anything as the witch turned back around and explained what y/n once told her, filling the ones who didn't know in on the situation back in Prythian.

Once she was done explaining, y/n could physically feel the tension in the room that could be cut with a knife.

"Oh Gods..." Aedion's mouth was hanging open as Lysandra crossed her arms, the shifters tone cool as she declared, "They are fools for coming here, then."

Rowan nodded his head. "Because we won't let them live what they did to you down."

Elide put her head on a distressed Lorcan's arm as she said, "How can you go back with them, y/n? I do hope that once you do, you will leave them immediately."

Dorian shook his head, glanced at Fenrys with a knowing look, "Whatever the case is, they are not welcome here. They are clearly not wanted by the book either because their interference is causing a shift in the magic. We have to finish this job by the day of the lunar eclipse. And if they do somehow appear, then the choice to make will be y/n's and no one elses."

Lucien sighed, coming forward and placing a comforting hand on y/n's shoulder, "They- I don't even know what happened to them. I will be honest, me and them were never truly close....we have a long and complicated history which is why they never fully liked me, especially Rhysand and Mor-"

"Who is Mor?!" Petrah's voice sounded frustrated and protective as she looked directly at Lucien from her position on the opposite couch.

The prince gave Manon's second in command a small shake of his head and said, "She is....well, let that be a story for another time because her main issue isn't even directly related to me, her issue is with my brother."

"So, she is an idiot then."

They all looked at Lorcan as Lucien coughed out an "Excuse me?!"

The tall man just shrugged his shoulders, "If she is hating on you simply for whatever your brother did, then she is a fool and so is the rest of them if they support her."

"I agree." Petrah didn't sound happy at all as she voiced her agreement.

Y/n managed to place a reassuring hand on Lucien's as the redhead said, "Well, that isn't the main point. My point is, they- I never expected them to be like that towards y/n because, after all, they knew her for so long and from what I saw, enjoyed her company extensively. They were like family. Especially Cassian, Rhysand, Mor and Amren. And then Feyre and her sisters came into the portrait and everything just went downhill from there. And Azriel-"

"Is mine."

Y/n froze.

Lucien froze.

Everyone froze.

The room went silent as all head turned to the owner of that statement.

Fenrys.

When she looked at him, y/n only saw anger, possessiveness and violence readiating of off him. His expression, his eyes and his body.

She broke the silence, speaking for the first time since sitting down. "Fenrys, what- what do you mean?"

His intense gaze landed on her as he simply said in a chilly tone, "I mean, if he dares to step here, to come within my vicinity, then he is mine. Mine to break, mine to deal with, mine to beat up and mine to destroy. You all can deal with the rest of them but I will say it now, no one touches Azriel. He is mine."

Her eyes widened as she and Lucien spoke at the same time,

"Fenrys, no. You don't- it will only bring more trouble than necessary to you."

"Rhysand is the most powerful high lord, he won't let you treat his brother like that."

"Watch me."

From the way he sounded and looked, Fenrys was not fooling around, nor was he afraid of what Lucien just revealed to him. Y/n didn't know whether to feel safe or worried.

Aelin cleared her throat, drawing all the attention to her. "Well....this is definitely a new side of Fenrys I have never seen. What about you two?" she looked between her mate and Lorcan.

The two male's exchanged knowing looks, Rowan seemingly realizing the reason for Fenrys' sudden protectiveness as he said, "Believe me fire heart, this is new for us as well."

Lorcan smirked, "Yes, very new."

Yrene's calm voice filled the room as she said, "I don't think I can keep that book in our room, it talks too much."

Aelin moved towards the object and took it, ignoring it's protests as she turned towards the doors, followed by her mate, "I am taking this to the library. I need Arthur to have a look at this thing."

As everyone slowly began to leave the room, Lucien gave her shoulder one final squeeze before moving to help a struggling Petrah up, and leaving with her still asking him, "What's that Mor's issue with you?"

"Petrah, not now."

"No! Tell me, I must know so that when I see her, I will know how to attack her."

"Are you mad?! Over my dead body will I allow you to get yourself involved in this mess."

Y/n smiled at the couple's banter as their voices slowly began fading away, leaving her and Fenrys alone in the room. She sighed but leaned her head on his chest, causing his arm to come around her waist and slowly help her get up.

Once out in the hall, she detached herself from him as they began to walk silently.

"Fenrys, you shouldn't attack Azriel if he shows up here."

"Y/n, my respect and care for you is eternal, but I will have to go against your wishes on this one because even hearing his name causes so much rage to bubble up within me. Now, imagine I get to finally see him in real life, how can I hold myself back? It's as if fate has delivered him to me on a silver platter. As if he is wishing for death by coming here."

As they began climbing up the stairs she could only manage to squeeze his arm, "Fenrys-"

"What did I tell you, y/n? That I will protect your light from any darkness that dares to approach. Azriel is that darkness and I won't hesitate to end him if he even comes into the same world as you."

They reached her room, she opened her door and turned to look at him, "Please, please, Fenrys. You may hurt yourself-"

"And what about you? You were hurt countless times by him, by his friends and by someone else whom you clearly won't tell me about but that is fine, I am willing to wait on that. Whatever the case is, you are not alone princess. Not anymore. Not as long as I live."

And with that, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and turned towards his own room, quietly saying, "Get some rest now, princess. You have had a long day."

She couldn't sleep the night away, her thoughts filled with everything that was happening around her. By the time sunrise hit, y/n was once again heading towards the training area but stopped once a thought came to her head. She turned in her path, heading towards the library, her determination growing with each step that she took.

When she reachd the large area, y/n saw a tall, frail and quite old male in robes putting books inside the shelves. When he heard her enter the room, the male turned towards her and gave y/n a small, polite smile, "Welcome, my name is Arthur and I am one of the three head protectors of this ancient library."

Y/n gave him a small smile in return and said, "Hello, Arthur. My name is Y/n and I believe queen Aelin brought a book here last night?"

The librarian nodded his head, "Oh, yes. Her majesty asked me to keep it safe and protected here so I put it under wards."

She fiddled with her fingers as she asked him, "Could I- could I please take it for a short moment? I have some questions that I believe it can answer so..."

Arthur smiled and gestured for her to follow him. "Of course, y/n. I know of you so I am aware that the book responds well to you and only you. No one else."

He brought her to a medium sized, square table. with the book in it's center, emanating magical essence from around it. Arthur said a couple of words before the room suddenly felt less heavy and suffocating. He turned towards her and said, "I removed the main wards, still keeping some precautionary ones around. Do be careful, y/n, don't stay with it for too long."

She nodded her head at him. "Believe me, I am very well aware of it. Thank you, Arthur. I only need a couple of minutes."

The male nodded and left the corner in which they were in, heading back towards the other end of the room, leaving her alone with the ancient object.

Y/n sighed before coming to stand right in front of it, steadying her voice as she spoke, "I am not scared of you anymore. You fooled me the first time by sending me here but you can't fool me this time around."

The book replied with a knowing tone, "Good, because I am not sending you anywhere anymore, Illyrian."

Realization slowly dawned upon her, "You knew, didn't you? All this time, you knew that I had a mate here. That this was where I was meant to be sent."

"I did say that you are home now when I sent you here didn't I, child?"

She sighed, "Yes, you did. And....what now? Do I just accept it because you sent me here?"

"You tell me, witch. What do you think you must do?"

"I don't know."

"My job was to only send you here. The choice to make will be yours. Elara said as much."

"Wait. My mother- you- how?"

"She managed to bypass all of the high lord's wards and contact me. Ordered me to do what I did and how could I say no to the most powerful ironteeth witch, Elara?"

Her heart warmed. Her mother, the woman whom she didn't even know of for most of her life, was the one who started it all. She smiled gently, reminiscing the mother whom she only knew for such a short time.

"I think I know my answer now."

"You do not have any more questions left in you?"

"No, I have finally understood my purpose. Goodbye."

As she turned around and left, y/n heard the book say, "Make the right choice, child."

"She is your mate, isn't she?"

Fenrys paused his eating and lifted his head to see Rowan enter the room. The blond just muttered some incoherent sentence before resuming his eating. Rowan came and sat on the opposite chair, giving him an amused look.

"Seems like you have worked up quite the appetite. Apparently being a territorial fae bastard turns you into a starved wolf."

"I am not a territorial fae bastard." Fenrys grumbled while his mouth was full of food.

Rowan smirked, "Well, Aelin calls me that whenever I do what you just did in the sitting room last night."

"And what did I do exactly?"

"Get all protective and posessive over your mate."

"We aren't mates."

Rowan chuckled "Oh please, Fenrys. We all saw you stake a claim on y/n in that room. Besides, I already had my suspicions and Lorcan isn't the best secret keeper."

Fenrys clenched his fists on the table. "That little prick. I knew I couldn't trust him."

"So you are mates. Fenrys, you hurt my feelings by choosing to tell this to Lorcan over me."

Fenrys playfully rolled his eyes at his friend and said, "Shut up, bird. Besides, we don't even know if we will be together. Neither of us has accepted the bond."

Rowan's expression became grim. "So I've heard. Seems like you both are scared."

Fenrys sighed "Truthfully, I would be lying if I said that I am sure everything will be perfect. That I will accept the bond and already be deep in love with her. I do feel a lot for y/n but love is something I never had any experience in and.....with the kind of a past that I have, I am of course afraid. Afraid of scaring her away or doing something wrong. But what I do know is that I would never hurt her. And I am willing to accept the bond because I do like her and imagining a forever with y/n does bring me so much joy."

The prince nodded his head at his friends confession and after a moment replied, "You truly need one another, Fenrys. You need healing and so does she, from whatever nightmares she has endured. You both can heal together. Heal each other. Learn to love not only yourselves but also the world around you."

Fenrys gazed towards the window behind his friend, his expression thoughtful. "She is afraid, Rowan. Her life hasn't been easy and it seems like she hasn't gotten to feel joyful much because so many good things have been taken away from her. One of them being..." Fenrys had to reign his anger in as he said, "Azriel."

Rowan nodded his head slowly, gesturing for his companion to go on. Fenrys inhaled a sharp breath in before continuing, "He pretended to be in love with her, Rowan. In love. And she believed him, she believed him and overlooked all the other signs like them not being mates in favor of loving him. But, all this time he was being a bastard who lied to her. What a little coward. I hate him for breaking her, for shattering her heart and making her doubt herself. I meant what I said, Rowan. I will kill him if I see him."

The prince shook his head slowly, "No, you can't kill him."

Fenrys' brows furrowed "What?"

"I said, you can't kill him. I won't allow you to."

Fenrys scoffed, "Please, don't act so almighty with me. If the roles were reversed and Azriel had done all that to Aelin, you would rip him to shreds."

Rowan smiled slightly, "True, but the roles aren't reversed, are they? So, I won't allow you to kill him"

"What?! That's just-"

"He has a mate, Fenrys. You can't do that."

"Like I care. That viper mate of his should also stay away from me if she values her life. She has just as much of a fault in this as he does. I will kill him, Rowan. I am sorry but I won't follow your order on this one."

"I said don't kill him but I never said don't beat him to the brink of death."

Fenrys' eyes widened as Rowan laughed and winked at his friend before getting up and heading towards the door, "You underestimate me, Fenrys. They hurt your mate so of course you should destroy him, just don't kill him and cause an extra headache for us all with a court that isn't even from our world. Oh, and...."

Rowan gave a final look at Fenrys before closing the door, "If they even manage to come here and try something, believe me Fenrys, they will be going back home with broken ego's and shattered bones. Whether or not y/n will be going with them is up to her."

The old house stood silent, its windows staring out like blank eyes into the night.

Y/n must have read this sentence for what feels like the millionth time in the book. Her mind was just too mixed up with other things that she couldn't even concentrate on reading a single sentence from a random book.

"You are reading 'Whispering Windows'? Gods, that's the most boring book I've ever read."

Y/n looked from her place on the couch to see Manon and Eva entering the room as the younger girl made a disgusted face at the book y/n was holding.

"What, you don't like it?"

"Like it? The whole plot is so predictable that by the end when the supposed plot twist happens, you already expected it."

Manon came and sat beside y/n as Eva lay down on the carpeted floor, propping her head on one hand. The witch smirked after taking a peek into the book y/n was reading. "Don't worry Eva, it seems like y/n hasn't even gotten past the first page yet."

Y/n sighed and put the book down, "Yes, can't really concentrate right now."

"Why not?" Eva's voice sounded curious but Manon gave a knowing look at y/n as she said, "Because her mind is currently elsewhere. Something having to do with a certain mate perhaps?"

Eva's eyes widened and she immediately jumped up before y/n could even answer the question, "You have a mate?! Since when?! Is it Fenrys-"

Y/n quickly put her palm on the girls mouth, shutting her up, as she hissed, "Yes, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go around shouting it for all to hear."

She brought her palm down from Eva's mouth as the girl whispered, "Fenrys is your mate? Oh Godsss!!"

"Calm down, it's not like either of them has accepted it yet." Manon crossed her arms as she looked expectantly at y/n.

"How did you-"

"Know? Hmmm, I have my ways." the queen winked at her before nudging her on the ribs, "So, what will happen between you two? Are you planning on accepting it?"

Y/n tilted her head backwards on the couch and closed her eyes.

"Uh-oh."

Y/n's eyes opened once again as she looked at Eva "What?! I didn't even say anything yet."

The girl shrugged her shoulders before smiling, "You don't need to. Your posture just told me everything I needed to know and then your delay in answer proved me right."

Y/n and Manon both looked at her with slightly wide eyes as the former whispered, "Wow"

Manon turned to look at her once again, "You are going to reject the bond?! Why?"

Y/n sighed, "I went and talked with the Book of Breathings earlier today and turns out my mother was the one behind it all from the start. She knew I had a mate here so she managed to get me sent to this place, effectively making my and Fenrys' paths cross and that just gave me the answer I needed. Assured me of my choice."

"Which is?"

Y/n looked at both of them beore saying in a steady voice, "No."

"What?!"

"Why?!"

Both the queen and the girl shouted at the same time, still looking surprised by her choice.

She put her palm over both of their mouths' as she said, "If you will just shut up and allow me to talk, I will explain."

Once they both stayed quiet, y/n let out a breath and said, "As I mentioned, my mother had a hand in this, in us crossing paths. That's why I feel as if I have forced myself upon Fenrys. If I accept this, I will force him to be with me because we didn't meet naturally. I am afraid that at some point, he will realise this and stop feeling all those things for me and leave like Azriel did. Like everyone always does-"

"I will have to stop you right there." Manon's voice sounded firm yet reassuring and determined as she placed a hand on y/n's shoulder.

"I understand your fears. You have had some hard times in your life it seems, and have loved the very few things you considered good. Such as those fae and especially Azriel. But, they left you alone after you have loved so much and been so vulnerable that now you find it hard to open up again. But believe me, y/n. That isn't your fault at all. They didn't leave because you were mean, bad, unusual or something else but because they themselves are the problem. They are the liars and hypocrites. Not you."

When y/n opened her mouth to say something, Manon put up a hand and said, "Now, as for the whole being sent here situation, if not now then when? If your mother wouldn't have done what she did at that exact time to get you here then when, exactly would you have a chance to come here again? To cross paths with Fenrys? He adores you, y/n. He is ready to go to the ends of the world as long as it's with you. Believe me, Fenrys has changed so much for the better since your arrival. No one has had this effect on him but you. Only you."

Y/n's eyes watered slightly as Eva hugged her silently and Manon squeezed her hand with a reassuring smile, "Just think about it."

Y/n gave her a small smile in return as she nodded her head and sat with them in a comforting silence a little more, thinking over what Manon just said.

It was sunset when she was sitting in the gazebo, staring out into the ethereal view of flowers and other plants. Her surroundings were so serene and peaceful, contrasting with her inner turmoil as y/n was once again, lost.

"May I?"

That voice that always caused a warm feeling to envelop her. That calm yet deep voice that never fails to make her squirm in her seat. The only voice that ever made her feel such things.

Fenrys' voice.

Y/n lifted her head up to see him standing in front of the gazebo, a small smile on his face, looking as angelic as ever. She managed to smile back and nod her head.

He came and sat right next to her, his comforting scent invading all her senses as she couldn't stop her body from leaning against him causing Fenrys to immediately wrap an arm around her waist and put his head on hers.

She felt so safe in his arms. So safe and protected, as if no harm could ever come to her as long as she was with him. And truthfully, y/n did start thinking that it was like that. But then again, another small part of her was still unsure, still telling her that this would never end well. That this was a forced story.

"You seem deep in thought"

His voice that seems to turn gentle only when talking to her brought her back from her thoughts as y/n asked him the question she has been dying to get an answer for.

"Are you truly happy to have me as a mate?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know, just.... I don't know"

She felt him pull her slightly away so that they can look at each other. Fenrys' brows were furrowed as he looked expectantly at her.

Y/n sighed, "I- I just- forget it."

"No, I won't forget it because you will tell me what is causing you any trouble so that I can smooth it out."

Her eyes widened, "You care about me that much? You- you would try to solve my problems for me?"

Fenrys' arm around her tightened as he said, "Of course I care about you. In fact, I more than care about you. Your troubles are my troubles and so, I would do everything in my power to get rid of every single one of them until you are feeling at peace. Feeling safe-"

"I do feel safe, Fen. Whenever I am with you is when I feel safe."

He seemed to be surprised about that because now it was his eyes that widened. "You do?"

"Of course I do, Fenrys. I feel safe, cared, supported, appreciated and even loved whenever I am with you. You have shown me the love no one has ever shown before. That's why I am afraid that you may doubt this at some point in the future. I am afraid that you- that your feelings will change and you will also leave-"

Her words were silenced by Fenrys' lips on hers. He kissed her fiercely, full of adoration and passion while his hand kept on caressing her back.

When he pulled away from her, his breath heaving, as he put both of his hands on each side of her face, "Never say such things ever again. I would never and I mean never knowingly hurt you. I would rather get my skin ripped off my body than ever betray you, princess. I am ready to spend an eternity with you, I will accept it right this moment, even. But I am more than willing to wait until you are ready to make a choice."

A tear slipped down her eye before Fenrys kissed it away as y/n smiled at him, feeling so warm after the confession he made. "I think- I think I know my answer, Fen. I just need a little more time to be sure."

Fenrys smiled brightly and kissed her other cheek as he pulled her back into his chest and put his head back on hers. "Once you are ready, I will be here, waiting and ready to soothe your doubts."

Once they arrived to dinner, the room was full with everyone chattering and discussing things, Dorian's voice loudest of all as he mentioned that there were only two days left until the lunar eclipse now.

"Well, with two groups, I believe we have a chance at winning." Lysandras confident voice filled the room as she playfully hit the back of Dorian's head while passing by his chair.

Y/n sat down next to Fenrys as she asked no one in particular, "Who is going where?"

Dorian smiled brightly and pointed to himself as he said, "Of course, the one and only me, Eva, Elide, Yrene and Lucien are staying with you. The rest are going after the valgs."

"And me." came Fenrys' voice from beside her, full of determination.

Aelin cleared her throat, "Fenrys, you can shift. You would be more helpful with us-"

"I am staying with y/n."

"Fenrys-"

"No."

"Fenrys," y/n put her hand on his, causing him to look at her, his gaze immediately softening.

"Please, you will be more helpful in the fight against the valg."

"But-"

"I will be fine, Fen. I won't be alone, right?"

Yrene nodded her head "Of course, we will be with you every step of the way."

Y/n smiled and looked back at him. "See? You shouldn't worry about me."

He sighed and clearly was willing to protest more but one look from y/n caused him to give her a resigned nod.

After a while, as everyone kept on talking, y/n noticed that Petrah seemed to be smiling which was the most unusual thing ever because y/n never saw her smile fully. One look at Lucien confirmed what she thought. He told her that they were mates and from the small shake of his head that Lucien gave y/n, she understood that neither of them haven't accepted the bond, just getting to first know more of one another. Just like her and Fenrys, it seems.

As the dinner went on, y/n's doubts were mostly fogotten as she immersed herself in the endless conversations happening around her, feeling more at home than she ever had. And through it all, she felt Fenrys' firm yet reassuring hold on her hand, his presence like a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Y/n knew that this was far from over, that they had trouble coming in two days but right in this moment, she was more than ready to face whatever that was coming as long as she had Fenrys by her side.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[moonlightazriel]

Chapter 19: It feels cold and empty /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: They try to adjust to a life where they don't have each other anymore.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Angst, mentions of fighting and suicide.

Notes: if you're triggered by suicide scenes, please don't read this. If you're not, please enjoy..

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

She nervously picked at the cuticles of her nails, every pair of eyes watching her curiously, not a word being said since she had been sitting in the council room of Aelin Galathynius’s castle for the last thirty minutes. The double doors burst open and she recoiled into herself further at the sight of Manon’s golden eyes, looking around the room until they landed on her. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Her queen’s voice reverberated through the chambers and she took a deep breath. 

“It’s a very long story.” Manon nodded, sitting on the empty chair by Aelin’s side. 

“We have plenty of time, I actually cleared my schedule for the day.” The younger queen winked at her, she could sense the curiosity pouring out of Aelin since her sentries had brought her there, Meraxes somewhere she didn’t know.

“I don’t even know where I should start..” She took a moment to recompose her breath and looked at the face of her own queen once more. “Let’s start with the golden eyes of a King.” 

Manon, Aelin and Rowan didn’t say a thing as she recalled everything that had happened on the time she was away, in too many details she described Velaris and the kindness of the faes she met there, she talked about the powerful wings and the bravery of a new type of people she met. The curses of this land in the hands of the middle born Valg King. She told them how Mantyx went there and how they, just like Elena once did, failed to kill him and sealed him and let the problem to those who would come after them. 

She told them how using the powers of Celeste and the cauldron, they broke the seal and killed him in his own home, preventing him from conquering Prythian like he intended to do since the beginning. She talked about the key and the gate, reassuring them that it would never be a problem as they didn’t have any interest in leaving their own world behind. 

She talked about the good friends she made, and how she would miss them dearly but she knew she had to come home. She didn’t say anything about Azriel to them, a selfish part of her didn’t want to share him with anyone, he was hers and hers only to keep tucked away in her heart forever, where he would never be hurt and unloved again. 

“We’re glad to have you back.” Rowan said after she was done, nodding his head toward the female, his trained eye on the tattoo on her arm, as she nervously rolled her sleeves up, revealing the drawing to them. 

“This world you described, it somehow feels familiar, when i close my eyes i can get a glimpse of beautiful stars and snow covered mountains.” Aelin stated, like a distant dream that bubbled in her mind, she had seen it when she was falling through the worlds, the male had helped her stop so she wouldn’t miss her home. 

“I can’t even imagine all of that, but as Rowan said, we’re happy to have you back, we should go back home.” Manon said, rising from her seat and thanking Aelin for having them there. Y/N did the same, following her queen outside. 

She almost laughed at the thought of calling this her home, as once someone said to her that home is where your heart is, and her was worlds apart from her, with the Shadowsinger she gave it to, the male she would love until the last day she walked this earth, maybe not even death would be enough to erase her love for him.

As she crossed the busy streets, she couldn’t avert her gaze from the statue built for them, their faces sculpted in stone, their swords raised together towards the stars, written in a beautiful handwritten at the base of the statue, she could read. 

“From now until the darkness claims us. In honour of the brave warriors that gave their life for this land.” Asterin in the middle of them, leading them to the battle. She hated it, she despised the reminder of the family she lost, the people she never stood a chance of saving, she hated the reminder that no matter what she did differently that day, she could not change their sacrifice. She hated it because it reminded her of how, late at night between sobs, she wished the darkness would claim her too just so all the pain would be gone. 

She found Meraxes sat by Abraxo’s side, his eyes distant, looking at where once a gap stood, like he too missed that land. But as Y/N climbed his leg, adjusting herself into the seat, she mumbled to him to forget that. They would never come back, and then, he carried them back to the Witch Kingdom. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“It’s been four months.” Feyre said, rubbing Nyx’s hair out of his eyes. 

“I guess locking him up at the House of Wind won’t work this time.” Nesta remarked, making Feyre roll her eyes at her. The inner circle sat at the dining table in the River House,worried about Azriel’s declining state.

Ever since she left, he had been sadder, angrier, snapping at anyone who dared to show a little bit of concern towards him. They could never imagine what it felt like, knowing your mate, getting to love her and having her falling in love with you too, just for her to be gone, to never come back. 

“What if he tries something?” Elain asked, Lucien held her hand in a reassuring grip.

“We won’t allow it.” He said, Lucien was the one trying the hardest to look out for Azriel, because his best friend would be pissed with him if he didn’t try, she would want her mate to be as fine as he possibly could, and Lucien would ensure that for her.

“We could kidnap her back.” Cassian suggested and the whole table turned to him, looking at him like he had three heads.

“Oh Mother, we’re not kidnapping someone, what are we? Hybern?” Rhysand said, eyeing his brother with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Azriel needs time, how much time he deems fit to get better, all we can do is pray to the Mother that he gets well soon, and show him that we’re here for him.”

“Talking about it..” Elain said getting up, fixing her skirts and nodding towards Lucien. “I’ll check on him.” She grabbed her mate’s hand, receiving an approving nod from Rhys, they winnowed to the House of Wind.

His room was dark and quiet, Azriel lay with his face pressed to his pillows, a dry trail of tears down his cheeks, his hair was messy, his shadows gathered around him quietly, like they too didn’t have the motivation to move. 

“Az.” Elain called, crouching in front of his eyes, those hazel orbs that had once radiated life once, were dull and glassy, he didn’t even greet her. “I brought something for you to eat, I’ll open the curtains and Lucien will help you shower, okay?” She said in a cheerful voice, but the male kept quiet. 

Elain did as she told, opening the curtains to let some sunshine enter his chambers, he hissed and she took it as a good sign that he could still feel something at least. She removed the covers from him, the blankets disappearing as the house helped her to get his room clean. 

“Okay, time to shower.” Lucien said, him and Elain supporting his body, dragging the defeated male towards the bathroom. Elain thanked Lucien for his help as she left the two alone. Lucien didn’t even bother anymore, he had done the same for Tamlin a while ago, so he stripped Azriel naked, letting the male soak in the warmth of the bath the house prepared. 

Lucien rubbed shampoo in his scalp, watching as slowly his shoulders started to shake and broken sobs parted his lips. He didn’t know what to say but he would wait if, for once, Azriel felt like talking today. Lucien almost gasped in surprise when the male, in fact, spoke.

“I feel pathetic.” He breathed and Lucien raised an eyebrow. “Four months depending on others because i can’t get a fucking grip.” He sounded angry, hurt. 

“There’s no shame in needing help.” Lucien gently replied, washing the bubbles from his hair. “When I lost Jesminda, I thought I would never recover from it.. The days blurred into months, the months into years of being stuck into a horrific void..”

“How did you get out?” He choked in his own tears. 

“I didn’t, not fully, and I don't think I ever will. My heart belonged to her, and a part always will, despite me loving Elain with all I have.” Lucien took another deep breath. “When I saw you and Elain together, I found myself back inside that void, sinking into it and letting it consume me.”

“I never apologised for what I did, you’re a good male, you didn’t deserve all the pain we both put you through.” Azriel turned his head to face Lucien, the male just shook his head. 

“You took care of her when I couldn't, you gave her a choice, you helped pull her out of that void. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt seeing you two, cuz it felt like my soul was being ripped away from me, I’m saying that I’m willing to look past all of this because she’s worth it, love is always worth it, and if it meant she would be happy, I would go through all of this again, even if she never chose me, just to ensure she would be happy.” 

“How would you live, knowing that you can’t have your mate?” Azriel dared to ask and Lucien seemed to think for a while. 

“I would just keep going, like I always did. And you should too, I never took you for the kind of male that would give up on life like this.” Lucien nudged him with his hand and Azriel allowed a barely there smile to appear in his face. 

“I should talk to you more often.” He snorted. “Thank you for looking out for me.” Azriel said with all the honesty he had in his heart. 

“It’s for her.” Lucien confessed and Azriel nodded. 

“Yeah, cuz she’s worth it.” He repeated and Lucien nodded. “I think I can assume from here.” Lucien nodded, getting up and leaving the bathroom to give him some time. 

“I would never allow you to sacrifice your happiness for me.” Elain said as she spotted him, her eyes filled with tears. Lucien pulled her close.

“We don’t have to think about it anymore, we’re together and that’s all that matters.” He gently kissed her temple and the female nodded, the two sitting in the window, waiting for Azriel to get out of the bathroom. 

When he did, she could swear he was a new male, freshly shaved and looking less tired, his cheeks were still hollow and he had bigger dark circles than ever, but she looked better, the talk with Lucien had really helped.

“Come eat something.” Elain gestured towards the plate in his study desk and he nodded, sitting down and eating like he hadn't done in months. 

“Thank you two, for everything.” He said, his voice muffled by the food.

“Just doing what you did for me all those months ago.” Elain winked and grabbed Lucien’s hand. “We’re going back to the River House, you don’t have to, but if you want, meet us there.” The male nodded, watching as his friends disappeared, he would go back to his life, he would learn how to live without her again. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Fenrys growled, holding an ice filled cloth to her swollen face. 

“He was fucking annoying.” She mumbled, wiping the blood on her sleeve. 

“And you had to start a fight with him?” He offered her a cloth, but she declined. 

“Asking gently didn’t work the first time, he had to learn.” She simply replied, her head throbbing, she was tired of that conversation. 

“I know you left some important people behind, but you can’t keep like this, you’re not even alive anymore.” He shouted, ever since she came back, she had stopped eating, every night she would go out, and find someone dumb enough to start a fight with her, or she would lock herself in her room, screaming as Gods knows what plagued her dreams. She never failed her duty though. Every morning she would appear impeccable, ready to do whatever she was ordered to.  

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She got up, face to face with him. Fenrys scoffed.

“Do you think she would be proud? Asterin would be ashamed of you.” He said, the anger getting the best of him, seeing his friend wasting her life like this. But at the sight of her defeated expression and tear filled eyes, he regretted it. “I didn’t mea…”

“FUCK YOU, FENRYS!” She yelled in his face, turning away from him and marching. She seemed to remember something, because she turned around, the fat tear streaming down her bruised face. “It wasn’t just some important friends that i left behind, i left my mate behind, maybe this means something to you.” 

Fenrys froze, mates were really precious in fae culture, for her to be here without him, having the strength to leave him behind, she was in so much pain, and he just made everything worse by throwing her biggest fear on her face, the fear of disappointing Asterin.

Y/N walked back to the castle, feeling her body numb, the pain in her chest too overwhelming to even feel the cold winds making her shiver. She marched towards her room, she opened the window, feeling the breeze messing her hair that had overgrown. 

She just wanted it all to be gone, all the pain, all the sadness, everything. She closed her eyes shut, climbing the railing of the balcony. Maybe he wouldn’t feel anything, so far away from her. The winds were stronger, like they tried to push her back to the safety of her room. She took a deep breath. 

“From now until the darkness claims us.” She breathed, feeling the air leave her lungs. That was when she allowed her body to lean forward, the sweet embrace that awaited for her and would bring her the relief she desperately wanted was all she had in mind. 

She didn't register the loud horrific roar that ripped the skies, awakening the whole castle. She just felt her body being violently pushed backwards, the air getting knocked out of her lungs as her back hit the stone wall with full force. She opened her eyes, feeling her head spin, the whole room with it as dizziness set over her. 

Someone grabbed at her, checking up on her head that bled due to the impact. She heard voices, but the consciousness slipped away from her grasp rather quickly. Until she let it claim her, pulling her into a soft embrace.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

“What’s wrong, Elain?” Lucien asked as he saw the white orbs of his mate. The female shivered. 

“She tried to kill herself.” She mumbled and the whole table went still, turning towards her. Azriel felt his heart squeeze in his chest. “And she will try again.” Elain said, her voice laced with sorrow. Two more months had passed since she departed, Azriel was better, back to training and to his duties, but this had dragged him back to that void. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Rhys said, he truly was, but they couldn’t do anything.

“We need to go get her.” Nesta replied, already ready to jump through the gates to get her friend back.

“We can’t, remember that she chose to go.” He stared at the angry frown on Nesta’s face, he could feel it pouring out of her but she didn’t say anything to him, he should’ve known better than this. 

Cassian watched as everyone finished dinner, going back to their rooms and houses. He watched as Nesta prepared herself for bed, he almost laughed at her antics, she thought she was sneaky, but he knew her better than herself, so as she pretended to be asleep. He got their bags ready. 

Later that night, he heard her, slowly lifting from bed, shuffling through their things, quietly mumbling a curse, he kept pretending he was sleeping. He was quick to change into his leathers, sheathing his swords and walking to the living room, sitting in the dark, waiting for his mate. 

Nesta gasped when the lights flickered on and she spotted her mate, sitting with two bags at his feet and a big grin spreading across his face. From behind him, surprise filled her at the sight of Elain in pants, her hair braided behind her back, a bag strapped to her shoulders, flanked by both Lucien and Azriel. 

“We know you.” She had said and Nesta smiled at her family. 

“How are we getting the key?” Lucien asked, and his sister in law just closed her eyes, focusing on that call, pulling it towards her, the same way she had done with the troves. The key appeared in her hands and she grinned. 

“Like calls like.” She winked at them, strapping her bag on her shoulder before they winnowed away to Ramiel. As they opened the balcony door, to get easier to go, they spotted Rhysand. He was wearing his sleeping clothes, and was rubbing his temples.

“You’re all so predictable.” He sighed. “I’ll close my eyes for five seconds, and you all better be gone before I open them again. I don’t want to see you here, not without her.” He heard Nesta cheering, feeling the winds change around him as they all winnowed back, to get her home. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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[throneofsapphics]

old faces, part 10

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret. 

Warnings: mentions of drinking, panic attack, references to death, child labor 

Word Count: ~4.5k

A/N: I promise I've started on part 11! I appreciate all of your love on this series <3 it seriously means the world to me

series masterlist

Fenrys, sat to your right, was watching you. He was subtle, others wouldn’t notice - perhaps except Rowan or Aelin, but you felt his attention on you, like he knew something was wrong. The bastard probably did. 

The encounter had rattled you. Especially because the male was still sitting further down the table. You’d done a good job of ignoring him for the most part, even though his attention wandered your way several times. Earlier, you’d been correct assuming it was a personal matter, because he didn’t bring up a single thing related to an artifact causing trouble, or your bloodline. Not even a hint of it. 

Yes, his questions had unnerved you, but the memory moreso. You’d kept your oath, but you tried not to think of him. It had been years, but the pain and loss still felt like yesterday, the scar still felt fresh, guilt and horror threatened to overwhelm you - 

A warm hand on your knee, a small squeeze. Fenrys. A scan of the table showed nobody looking closely at you, good - it would’ve been embarrassing and unprofessional if you’d spaced out while a question was asked. 

Trying not to count down the seconds, you did your best to hang on to every word, to listen intently, but your mind scrambled. A glass of wine, maybe a good book, and sleep was desperately needed. 

With Fenrys next to you like a guard dog, he only shot you a look, probably meant to be some kind of promise of a future conversation. You’d need a good amount to avoid him, and lately your luck has been running terrifyingly low. 

Waiting an appropriate amount of time after the meeting concluded - mainly until he left the room, you beelined for the door. A broad back cut you off, Fenrys asking some kind of question you couldn’t hear through the ringing in your ears, the pure panic rising in your lungs. 

Vaguely aware of the empty room surrounding you, Rowan’s face loomed in front of yours, his mouth forming words you couldn’t hear or comprehend. Chest caving, each breath felt like a chore, the sharp pain of your nails in your palm couldn’t distract you, couldn’t break you out, you were suffocating, drowning - one hand squeezed your shoulder, another gripping your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze. 

“Breathe,” you read his lips, the movement of his mouth slow and exaggerated. “You’re safe.” 

His hand enveloped yours, drawing it up towards his chest. The grip on your chin didn’t move, forcing you to look at him to focus on the steady beat of his heart under your palm, the exaggerated rising and falling of his chest, the way his hand still covered your own. Slowly, the ringing subsided, your breaths growing easier. 

“Good?” He asked, and you hated the gentleness in his voice. You replied with a terse nod. Rowan studied you for a few moments, and unlike yourself you squirmed under the scrutiny, shifting back and forth on your feet. 

“Alright,” he said slowly, releasing your chin, lowering your hand back to your side. He strode back towards the door, jerking his head, speaking lowly enough your Fae hearing couldn’t catch the words. Fenrys strode back in, his face unusually severe. The door shut with a soft snick, a comforting shield of wind surrounding the room. You were too overloaded to add your own magic. 

Fenrys looked concerned, but you shook your head, “I'm fine.” 

“Then what the hell happened before?” At least Fenrys got straight to the point.

“Someone just … asked something that rattled me,” you hedged, leaning back against the table, crossing your arms, trying to buy yourself some time to find a way to explain it that wouldn’t make them overreact. Logically, you knew it was too late for that. 

“You don’t get rattled,” Rowan crossed his arms. Technically, that was a compliment. You glanced at Fenrys, like he might make some kind of joke, but his face was nearly as serious as Rowan’s. Two walls of unrelenting and overbearing male arrogance. “Who?” 

“Does it matter?” 

Neither male bothered responding. Running fingers through your hair, you told him, and added “it wasn’t exactly a threat.” 

‘Exactly’, was your mistake. 

“Tell me everything.” The demand in Rowan’s tone, the sheer sense of authority and arrogance, made you prickle but … this time you gave in and recited the conversation. 

“What do you think he’s looking for?” Fenrys asked before Rowan could get a word.. 

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know.” The second part wasn’t necessarily true. He’d peaked your curiosity, hit that lingering sense of guilt perfectly - as if he already knew how to work you. But, curiosity killed the cat - you wouldn’t make that mistake. 

“We’ll keep an eye on him,” Rowan said, glancing up at the clock. Another meeting would start soon - one should probably be at. “Stay here for the night.” 

“Right where he is?” You raised your brows. 

“Right where we are,” he corrected. 

“I’m not that scared.” 

“So you admit you’re scared?” 

“Oh fuck off,” you snapped at him. 

“We fought with that male,” Rowan snarled, “we’re well aware of what he’s capable of.” 

Of course they had. You caught Fenrys’s nod from the corner of your eye. 

“And I’m more than capable of protecting myself. Find someone else to be a fussy bastard to.”

“I care about your safety,” he gritted his teeth, “is that so wrong?” 

Damn you, something inside of you softened and you hated yourself for it. 

“It’s safer for me to be at home.” 

“Safer for who?” The edge in Rowan’s voice grew, “because I know damn well you’re trying to draw a threat away from the castle.” Away from Ceri was implied. He probably didn’t know it, but you wanted it away from him too. From him, Aelin, Fenrys, all of the people you cared about. You couldn’t argue. 

“Don’t fucking underestimate me.” 

He laughed roughly, “trust me, I’m not.”

“Then don’t try to coddle me,” your left fist clenched. 

“It’s common sense, not coddling.” 

Fenrys’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you, and you threw your head back in a groan. 

“If anything happens tonight, even if I get a bad feeling, I'll come back here,” you said with enough finality and sincerity that the males very begrudgingly agreed. “I’m going home now,” you sidestepped Fenrys, skirted around Rowan, the shield of wind falling, and strode out of the door. 

-

Rowan hadn’t slept well since you left the night before. You showed face yesterday, probably just to assure him and maybe prove a point, but the Akkadian contingent would be present for two more days. He told Aelin, of course, and had to be the reasonable one to prevent her from doing an interrogation of her own. She’d agreed, already knowing there was a close eye kept on them. But, it was near impossible to keep track of everyone entering or leaving without raising suspicion. 

Quarter to midnight, just when he figured he should try and get some sleep, and kick the rest of the Court out, Halle appeared with a … piece of paper between her teeth. She jumped directly on him, claws digging in, dropping the paper, hissing when he didn’t immediately grab it. He took the hint, and didn’t hesitate before unfolding it. 

I’m going to have company soon. If you and Aelin attend, it’ll raise too many suspicions, and it’s the dead of night. Send Fenrys? I’ll stay in until then. 

Gods, you planned on confronting him. The words were scribbled quickly, letters shaky, ink blotted in a few areas. 

He tossed it to Fenrys, who caught it between two fingers - glancing once curiously at the cat, her keen eyes now fixed on him. Attending. You said nothing about a hawk keeping watch from the sky. Besides, you’d said ‘you and Aelin,’ not ‘you or.’ Aelin would be pissy she needed to stay here, but if they were both absent from the castle …  

Sometimes, Rowan missed when he wasn’t King, when he could confront a problem like this without having to worry about political repercussions, when he lived somewhere there were few laws against murder. 

He flew above Fenrys - taking a back exit from the castle, sticking to secluded areas. Somehow, the giant white wolf went unnoticed. Perhaps because it was a Friday night, and the current areas they ran through were nearly abandoned. 

Regardless, he scouted the way ahead, spotting the two males just a fifteen minute walk from your house now. It was obvious they didn’t know exactly where they were going, but Fenrys should arrive with a few minutes to spare. He knew you’d notice his presence, and he’d avoid showing his face to keep your wrath away. 

He momentarily forgot keeping your wrath away as he watched you slip past the wards and shift. Then - disappeared. Catching a draft, he set out to intercept Fenrys. 

-

You’d lied to them unintentionally, the decision made last minute, a switch, but it was the … choice that felt right, a warm hand on your shoulder - a feminine voice in the back of your ear, guiding you. Slipping past the words, sending silent apologies to the night, you shifted. 

It was easy enough to track their magic, moving in between the folds of time and space. Harder, was deciding the best way to ‘run into’ their path. 

Pinching your cheeks until they flushed red, hands shoved into pockets, head down, senses awake - a slight sway in your step, humming a tune frequently played in Terrasen’s taverns, you turned the corner and let the threads of fate throw you to the wolves. 

“Oh,” you laughed, stumbling back a few steps, brushing hair away from your face, “didn’t think I’d see you again today. Your voice carried over the wind, although you spoke a tad louder than necessary. The location was empty, but not abandoned. Probably not where they would’ve chosen. It felt important that you chose the place. “Convenient, finding you here.” 

“Convenient, indeed,” the predatory gleam in his eyes raised the hair on the back of your neck. Still, stupid male. If he thought beyond whatever agenda he’s set on, he would’ve wondered how you ended up directly in his path. “There’s some things we’d like to discuss-”

“It’s past business hours, I’m afraid,” you yawned.

“We can keep this separate,” he purred and you fought the urge to gag. His friend was stone-faced. They looked similar enough they could be brothers or cousins. 

“What do you want?”

“Like I said,” he cleared his throat. “There’s an artifact causing trouble, we need your skillset to track it down.” 

He said it as if it was a done thing, like you’d agree in an instant. “I’m not the person you’re looking for.” 

“Andal said you were.” 

You paled, all of the color flushing from your skin. He couldn’t see it, in the dark, but the silence probably told him he’d hit the mark. Nothing was telling you to run, nothing pushing you away from this - although you wished it would. Deny, deny, deny, was the safe choice but … you had to get to the bottom of this one way or another. Worst case, you shift and disappear. Hopefully. 

“If Andal said,” you pretended to think about it, just for a moment, tapping your fingers on your thigh, before shaking your head “it doesn’t matter, I’m out of business.” 

“This is urgent,” his friend, stone-man, growled.

“Oh he speaks,” you teased. 

“It’s one of the -” his words froze mid-sentence, a pulse of ancient and near primal magic weaving into the space.

Fenrys nearly bowled you over - stumbling, bracing his hand on your shoulder. “Quit leaving me behind,” he huffed out a laugh. An icy and familiar wind brushed against your cheek. 

Immense relief filled you, although you were seconds away from getting the information you wanted. “My bad,” you shot him a smile. 

Nearly imperceptibly, his fingers tightened around your shoulder as he straightened, examining the two males in front of you. Males he already knew were there. Still, you were impressed by his acting. 

“New friends?” He drawled. You shrugged, but didn’t shake off his hand, and he didn’t move it. 

“They were asking for my advice,” you cleared your throat - after an uncomfortable minute of silence. 

“Advice that cannot wait until tomorrow?” 

There was an underlying threat in his words, a slight change in tone, and with it the air filled with tension - suffocating, like all of their magics rose to the surface, postures tense and ready to snap at any minute. 

“I’m sure it can wait,” the male said roughly, jerking his chin towards his friend, as they both strode down the street - back towards the castle. “I’ll be in touch,” he called over his shoulder. Fenrys stiffened, but you didn’t bother replying. 

You and Fenrys waited until they were out of hearing range, and then a few minutes longer for good measure. At this point, you knew Fenrys well enough to tell when he was furious. 

Clearing the city streets, shadows of the stress covering the two of you, you finally spoke, “I’d almost figured out what -”

A flash of light came from your right, you pivoted, faced with an angry silver-haired male, mouth frozen mid-sentence,  “I’d ask what the hell you were thinking,” he snarled, “but it’s obvious you weren’t.” 

“I was thinking I’d keep those bastards from finding my gods-damned house,” you hissed. 

“How do you know you’re not leading them right back to your gods-damned home?” Fenrys said, his dark eyes flashing.  

Fixing him with a sharp look, you didn’t bother answering. 

One, you’d be able to tell. 

Two, it felt like an insult to your intelligence. 

Three, they weren’t stupid enough to follow if Fenrys was with you. 

You considered telling them to piss off, but knew it would be pointless. Tense, angry silence filled the walk back to your home. 

The wards were heavy, thick magic pulsing, enveloping you the closer you got. It might be uncomfortable to the others, but for you it felt like a hug - like it was singing and welcoming you home, magic reaching out with small threads to tug you into its embrace. You realized that the density of magic might be a beacon, and made a note in your mind to possibly research a way to obscure it. 

Running your finger down the invisible wall, a sliver appeared - just big enough to slip through as, snapping back into place as soon as you passed the threshold. 

The silence carried until you were inside, all sitting stiffly on the various couches and chairs. None of you bothered to appear at ease. 

Rowan’s hand slipped into his pocket, pulling a familiar slip of paper out, holding it between two fingers. Dramatically, he unfolded it and read; 

“I’ll stay in until then,” a breeze floated the page towards you, and you batted it away. A streak of orange, and Halle caught it between her teeth, shaking it in her jaws like a dog. She looked up at you and hissed. A small smile curved on your lips. Reaching a hand out, she rubbed her head along your fingers, lifting her chin for a scratch. A minute passed, and it appeared the two males were waiting for you to break the silence this time. You forced yourself to lean back, the armchair big enough for Halle to jump up and settle next to you, one paw batting at you when you dared to stop petting her.

“Do you ever feel like some kind of God or Goddess is watching over you?” 

“Aelin killed them,” Fenrys deadpanned, Rowan cut a glare at him. That, you didn’t know, but as Rowan’s glare turned on you, you decided it was best to ask that question later. 

“It’s like a warm hand on my shoulder,” you continued, “or a voice, nudging me. It hasn’t failed me before, and today felt like a bad time to test it.”

“You couldn’t have found me?” Fenrys asked, “maybe waited until you weren’t alone to confront them?” 

“I should’ve,” scratching the back of your neck, you avoided his gaze.You were old enough to admit when you’d done something stupid, to realize you had indeed fucked up, even if you hated doing it. “Look,” you let out a slow breath, “this is very … personal.” 

Silence. 

“If I'm going to explain this, Aelin really should be here,” you mumbled. She could easily hear from Rowan, or you could tell the story twice, but you wanted her here. Something about her presence soothed an edge, made dark parts of the past more bearable. 

Rowan stood. “I doubt she’s sleeping,” he said mildly, a glint in his eyes. “I saw you shift earlier, it shouldn’t take long to get there.” 

Fighting the urge to snarl or stomp, you lead the way out the door. “I’ll walk,” you called over your shoulder. Mainly because it would piss his impatient ass off. Based on his snarl, it did. 

Rowan snarled as you took off without him, sending a grin over your shoulder. His eyes rolled, but within a few strides he’d caught up to you. 

“Walking me home?” You teased, “how kind of you.” He gently shoved his shoulder into yours. “Really,” you huffed, “I’ll be fine.” 

“It’ll make me feel better,” he countered, and that was the end of the argument. You’d refused to shift and head back, anyway. You didn’t show your animal form to anyone. Even him. 

“I’ll go with you,” Fenrys quickly caught up to you, walking shoulder to shoulder as the memory faded, “we might run into them again.” 

A flash of light, a shriek from a hawk, and Rowan headed off, likely to warn Aelin. 

Ten minutes into the walk, the silence was getting to your head. 

“What is it?” 

“I’ve never wanted to be back in Doranelle,” Fenrys said quietly, “but there, I could’ve just killed them.” 

“Murder isn’t always the answer,” you snorted, and finally had the courage to look him in the eyes. He was fighting a smile. Throwing your head back, a slightly-incredulous, probably insane sounding laugh bubbled from your chest. 

-

“Some of the objects my ancestors made had uses they didn’t expect, and ended up with the wrong people,” you tapped your fingers against your legs, Aelin tried not to make it obvious she was hanging onto every word. “There’s a sense of … responsibility that comes with it. To destroy them, I suppose. There was never enough time to properly explain it.”

Sounds like bullshit, Aelin thought, but kept listening. 

“Few know how to use Wyrdmarks, and very few have the magic to strengthen or infuse them. Some can catch traces of those objects - track them. Not all of my ancestors were angelic, some tracked them down - either to use themselves or sell to the highest bidder,” disgust filled each word as you spat them out. “I was warned that not all will have bad intentions, but even the best intentions can be skewed by greed,” that phrase came out like a quote, one you’d memorized years ago, stored in the back of your mind - perhaps as a reminder. This was mostly information they’d been able to piece together, and Aelin waited for the other side, for whatever big secret you’d been holding onto. 

“It would be good to know what they're looking for, specifically.” Rowan looked ready to interrupt, but Aelin held up a hand. “Then I'll know their intentions. “I’d almost figured that out earlier,” you shot what was probably supposed to be an annoyed look at Fenrys, but she caught the hint of gratitude. As you turned back to them, a hint of guilt hit her at the exhaustion in your face, at the fear in your eyes. 

“I was nine, stuck on the streets. Someone found me, told me if I helped them out they’d make sure I was taken care of. I worked for them for five years, and did whatever they told me to. I knew I'd get fed, a warm bed, and a few marks here and there - to a kid it felt like riches. My … handler, you could say, had an idea of what my magic could do. Eventually my great uncle found me and dragged me out of it.” You ran a hand over your face. “That’s why they’re asking for help, because they know I’ve done it before.” 

“Andal?” Rowan asked quietly. He must’ve overheard that. All Aelin could think of was that word you used; handler. As the name Andal rolled around in her mind, it sounded eerily like Arobynn. Still, she focused on you - your expression, the paleness of your skin, the mixture of anger and fear flashing at the name, fists clenching slightly, shoulders tensing, feet pressing firmer into the ground - like you were ready to launch into a fight. Aelin understood how a name could trigger such a visceral reaction. 

“I fell for his trap and promises, I was so naive,” 

“You were a child,” Rowan insisted. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Part of me always knew it was wrong, but I was so-” your head snapped towards the door, and seconds later a very insistent knock interrupted. Ceri. Rowan’s shield of wind, and one of whatever your magic was, parted and the door flew open. 

Ceri sprinted through the room, launching herself into your arms. 

“You’re here,” she shrieked. Excitement. A smile naturally spread over your face, the tension of the previous conversation put aside as Ceri recounted the past day's events, settling herself next to you on the couch as you watched with rapt attention - cutting in at all of the perfect moments.

It had been a long week and … Aelin realized the two of you didn’t get to spend much time together. She exchanged a glance with Rowan, and they both silently rose, murmuring a good night, before leaving. They’d get up early to talk in the morning. 

-

Ceri spared no detail, and talked until her eyes started closing, yawns interrupting her words. 

“Why don’t you tell me more in the morning?” You asked gently. 

Her lips pursed, like that was the last thing she wanted to do, but she eventually nodded. She stood, her small hand latching onto your wrist, and dragged you both towards your bedroom. It had been years since she insisted on sleeping in your bed, but you didn’t question it. After tonight, you wanted her close. 

The next morning, thank the gods, nobody woke you up at the ass crack of dawn. In fact, a tray of food waited just outside of your door, all of your favorites and Ceri’s. After discerning it wasn’t poison, you brought it in. 

A few cups of tea later and you felt ready to continue last night’s conversation. Partially. None of this way easy to talk about, and you supposed that was a good thing. 

‘As a child,’ Rowan had said. Sure, you’d been young and naive, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you should’ve known better. ‘Nobody was there to teach you, it’s not your fault,’ a voice that sounded eerily like Aelin’s countered in the back of your mind. 

Ceri left reluctantly, making you promise to spend another night at the castle. It was an easy promise to give, you’d missed her after all. 

As soon as the three of you sat, you said the words you’d rehearsed in your head all morning. “Before we get into … that situation,” you cleared your throat, fighting the tightening sensation. “Whatever it is between us,” you’d caught their attention, both staring at you with keen eyes, “I want it - if you still do. To figure it out when we have time.” 

“I still want it,” Aelin’s mouth curved up at one corner, the mirth in her eyes bringing a pink flush to your cheeks. Rowan met your gaze, pine-green eyes flashing with rare emotion, and nodded. You didn’t need words from him, the look said everything. 

“How dangerous are these objects?” Rowan cleared his throat. Aelin rolled her eyes. 

“Depends on who has them, and if they know what they’re doing.” You realized that was uninformative, and explained, “most of them can capture traces of magic, in some way or form. With enough exposure and time, they can be quite destructive.” 

“You said you helped hunt them, did they ask anything else of you?” 

You nodded, throat constricting, and forced the next words out, “I was a kid who didn’t know what she was doing. I appeased them, changing small marks, making things up, but I really had no idea. I still don’t know what I changed, or what they can do now.” 

“I’ll take care of it.” Aelin said, firmly. 

“It’s not your -” 

“My responsibility, I know,” she waved her hand, “but I want to.” 

The way she said ‘want’ implied she would, whether you liked it or not. You’d learned, over the last few years, that Aelin can be quite good at getting what she wants. Still, you didn’t want to roll over for her. 

“I always pictured myself going on a … quest, some day,” you let out a low, dead, laugh. “When Ceri was grown, hunting down all of the objects I messed with - destroying them.” 

“Getting revenge?” Rowan raised a brow. 

“Redemption,” you countered. He looked like he wanted to argue. “Besides,” you played with the hem of your tunic. “It’s what my uncle would’ve done.” 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” He said quietly, not with pity, just framing a fact as a question. 

“Yes.” 

Another gods-damned sacrifice. All to keep you alive. All you could do was try to be worthy of it. 

“Ceri didn’t inherit my magic,” you said abruptly.

“I know,” Rowan replied. “Maybe your knack for sensing it, but not the actual magic.” 

“Sensing can be taught,” you replied. 

Aelin hummed. “What do you want to do about this?” 

A few blinks of surprise, but you leaned back. “Honestly? Forget it all happened.” Aelin snorted. “Practically, I should hear them out and figure out what I’m dealing with.” 

“And put yourself in danger?” Aelin’s head tilted, her voice a tad too calm. 

“What if we make it an ‘official’ thing?” When neither outright objected, you continued, “do it during a meeting, make it public.” 

“Then you’ll expose yourself,” Rowan stated. You raised a brow, you already had - to them. “To everyone,” he added. 

“Not necessarily,” you brushed the non-existent dirt off your pants. “I can give them my useless ‘notes’ on the subject,” you’d never intended to give them material that would actually help. “If they try for specifics, clarify what they’re looking for, others will start suspecting them, and I doubt that’s what they want.” 

“How will that tell you what they want?” 

“They’re arrogant and obviously desperate,” you shrugged. “They’ll get irritated, find me, and tell me.” 

“Your plan is to piss them off?” Fenrys looked at you like he prayed you were joking. 

-

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