#and I literally cannot even see the names of who it was about anymore

[aithusarosekiller]

My sister reminded me today of smth I did when I was 12/13 that is...quite possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever done and I've spent entire day trying to forget about it and convince myself that it made me who I was today but it is literally THE WORSTTT

and I know full well my mum remembers it too but I don't wanna remind her

So that's why I've been offline, I was trying to force myself to forget it

Sobbing

Putting it in the tags bc I just...have to tell someone or I'll explode

[muffinlance]

Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???

Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:

Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.

"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.

None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.

An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:

I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it

I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.

Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”

TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

Dating King Ben Would Include…

Holy shit,

This is a lot.

Def NSFW

Warnings: sex, language, not proofed, I’m a slut

- r u actually kidding this man

- Idek where to start

- How about this

VK

- the moment he lays eyes on you

- Fuck

- When he smiles at you for the first time???

- Bye.

- Falling for the king-to-be was NOT part of the plan

- But he’s so goddamn cute

- You slip into the stands at his tourney game

- He makes a great play and you let out a cheer

- Surprising everyone around

- And he just grins at you

- There’s a party that night

- You show up in your most flattering dress

- And Ben cannot take his eyes off of you

- (The beast inside is awakening)

- He asks you to dance

- his big hands fit on your waist so perfectly

- Your hands loop around his neck and your fingers play with his hair absentmindedly

- You’re so nervous

- He pulls you closer to him and whispers into your ear

- “Relax.”

- Hello???

- He’s so in love with you UGHHHHAGGGA

- not following plot anymore screw it

- “You coming to the game tomorrow?”

- “Why should I?”

- “I can think of a pretty good reason.”

- SHAMELESSLY FLIRTS WITH YOU

- “If we win, I get to take you out on a date”

- “And if you lose?”

- “We won’t.”

- Ben fucking winks at you and just

- Up and leaves

- Someone take the confidence juice away from him!

- You go see another one of his games and after he wins, he runs up to you, sweaty and grinning, gorgeous as ever

- Before you say anything

- His head dips down to your ear, hands slipping around your waist

- “My car is waiting for you. I’ll be there soon”

- The mf had no fucking doubts that they’d win

- He gives you another million dollar smile before jogging away

- Leaving you flushed and a little turned on?????

- The date is absolutely wonderful.

- He changes ur perspective on everything

- Makes you his queen eventually

AK

- He’s such a gentleman omg omg

- PRINCESS TREATMENT OMFG

- Opening doors for you!!!

- Pulls out your chair for you!!!

- Ur a cheerleader

- He’s def the kinda bf to score and point at you like

- “Scored that for you, baby!”

- You wanna roll your eyes but can’t bc of his damn smile

- Don’t even get Ben started on your fucking uniform

- He’s down bad fr fr

- You in the colors of his kingdom??? HELLO?!

- He’s gone

- Such a fan of public PDA

- will kiss you ANYWHERE

- seriously

- Always has to be touching you

- The beast in him tbh ur his

SEX

- everything this guy does is

- Always turning you on fr

- At the worst times too

- He’ll just look at you and give you the smile he only does while balls deep inside of you while at dinner with his parents

- And he knows it too

- The way you blush and look away?

- He KNOWS

- Please he gets weak in the knees when you say his name/title

- “Benjamin”

- “King Ben”

- “King Benjamin”

- “Your Majesty”

- Bye

- I imagine that he’s so sweet at first but you can tell that he’s holding back (beast boy HELLO?!)

- You have to convince him to finally just let it out

- What does that entail?

- Let’s make a list!!

- Scratch marks on your thighs

- So so many hickeys (he doesn’t fucking care who sees, he’s the king)

- Finger print bruises on your waist and hips

- BITE MARKS

- shit

- This man has a heightened sense of smell

- So like… beware

- Low key high key loves the way you smell

- Will not stop sucking and biting on your neck bc of it

- BEN IS A DOM IM SORRY NOT SORRY

- it’s such a stress relief for him!

- Seriously as king he needs to release his stress somehow

- You luv when he’s rough with you

- A full on Edward Cullen breaking the bed moment and he’s scared to even touch you

- And ur like “Ben do it again”

- He’s all 😮 “wut”

- “Please?”

- And bam thinking with his dick again

- You love it when he fucks you in his office

- In between meetings

- When anyone can walk in

- “Don’t want everyone in the castle to hear your dirty sounds, now do we?”

- BEN IM SORRY

- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP QUIET WHEN UR LITERALLY REARRANGING MY INSIDES ON YOUR DESK

- Riding him while he’s in his desk chair

- The staff is quite confused when he asks for a mirror to be hung as a decoration on the opposite side of his desk

- It’s so you two can watch obvi but they don’t know that

- OMG the two of you at formal events and he cannot keep his hands off of you

- The things he whispers in your ear my GOD

- looks like the two of you are just innocently dancing but if they really knew the dirty things he was saying to you

- “What would everyone think if they knew how turned on you are right now?”

- “You taste better than all the food here.”

- Like r u kidding me he’s the dirtiest guy

- MASSIVE DICK ENGERY

- Its unfair

- Him pulling you out of the ballroom to absolutely ravish you with his parents and subjects a wall away

- Him just fucking you while wearing his crown omg (cant stop thinking about this)

- He’s so needy all the fucking time

- Anyways back to office sex

- It’s his fav

- Literally you’ll be on his lap and he’s fucking up into you and he will get a phone call

- Motherfucker GRINS at you

- “don’t make a sound”

- And then ANSWERS IT.

- KEEPS FUCKING YOU THROUGH THE PHONE CALL

- NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS

- Oh and def makes you keep eye contact with him the whole time with his hand on your throat

- Ben with a beard????

- Between your thighs??

- With the fucking fangs?????????

- DEAD

- DECEASED

- BYE

- GONE

- Is always down to eat u out

- Such a golden retriever bf about it

- Def fingers you in the car

- If ur driving??

- “Eyes on the road”

- 💀

- If he’s gone?

- You best BELIEVE he’s calling for phone sex

- “C’mon let me hear you. You sound so pretty when you’re desperate for me.”

- Soft mean Dom soft mean Dom

- Will hop in the shower with you just so he can wash your body

- Also makes you come with the shower head

- Loves boobies

- Loves ass

- He can’t decide which he likes more

- Loves making you watch what he’s doing

- If he’s going down on you?

- Eyes on him at all times

- Fingering you?

- You better be watching it

- That’s why the mirror comes in handy

- When you lock eyes through the mirror?

- His crown is lopsided and he’s just

- He’s just

- You know

- FUCKING KING BENJAMIN

- And he’s always smiling at you

- He knows what that smile does to you

- Uses it to his advantage

- He knows he’s pretty

- He loves waking up before you after a long night of straight up fucking

- He sees the damage done

- By him

- And it just gets him going!

- You wake up with his head between your thighs

- “Morning”

- It was in fact a good morning

- his morning voice adds to it

- You loooooove to tease him

- Low key flirting with another guy, if it’s fucking Chad you better get prepared

- Wearing an outfit you know he loves in a public place when he’s with his parents doing his king duties

- Putting your hand on his inner thigh during a meeting

- I hope you know what you’re getting into!!!

- He storms into his room that night where you happen to be lying on the bed, oh so innocently

- Wearing his jersey or a button up of his

- You don’t bother looking at him, already trying to hide the smirk on your face

- You can feel the glare as he shrugs off his suit jacket

- And removes his tie

- And loosens his collar

- And pushes his sleeves up

- (your favorite Ben look)

- He knows this ofc

- Sets his hands flat on the bed and just stares at you

- Finally you look up, a giggle escaping immediately

- “You think it’s funny, do you?”

- His hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you towards him

- His knee settles between your legs as he leans over you

- “Answer your King when he speaks to you”

- “Yes, your majesty”

- His head drops back and something (THE FUCKING BEAST) ignites inside of him

- He laughs

- Not like his true laugh

- A dark, sinister laugh

- Coming from Ben?

- Noble, brave, and good Ben?

- When he’s about to fuck you into oblivion?

- Good. Fucking. Bye.

- What’s Bennyboo up for??

- So much

- He’s horny ALL THE TIME

- highest sex drive ever

- Esp with the fucking beast

- He can go for hours

- King (lol) of stamina

- “You can do it baby”

- “C’mon, one more for me”

- “Fuck you’re doing so well”

- “Good. So so good”

- He’s loud as FUCK

- not embarrassed about it all

- No fucks given

- Will walk out of his office he was just bending you over in to greet his father in the next room like MAN ISN’T PHASED AT ALL

- And you’re catching your breath like 😳😳😳

- On one hand, he’s so nice and genuine and so well mannered

- And then when it comes to you, he’s a cocky little shit who can’t keep it in his pants

[hungrykeaton]

Have a belly busting video everyone ;) They seriously make these burritos damn HUGE! Like they are the size of my arm its insane. And I just love watching them make it too because they keep just walking down all the ingredients and asking what else I want on it. And I just keep naming everything my greedy eyes can see. Got to see that burrito grow bigger and taller with each plop of extra ingredient ughhhh.

Also when I was ordering this time the burrito maker kept asking if I wanted extra brisket too and like of course I have to say yes to that. Plus literally everytime I order it someone always mentions how its so big and they can't quite finish it. But they don't know me, they don't know that I'm a greedy hog deep down who is never full. Its definitely meant for 2 or more people but I know that's how much I always wanna shove in my gut. (Also plopping down and watching exercise videos for a bit while eating also is kinda 'fun' for me. Something about the encouraging motivation to keep going and stuff...)

Ugh it just tasted so good too. Like even though its the size of my own forearm unwrapping it and chowing down on it was delicious. I just wanted to keep on stuffing it down more and more with each bite. Even though each just made my big gut swell up bigger with burrito and fat.

My gut's gotten big again I think... I wasn't trying to blow up too big again but I may have messed up because it feels so big. I had to get a bigger wardrobe already and we're not even done with December yet! I'm getting nervous my big gut is gonna make me look like fucking Santa by the end of the year...

But I just want more, more burritos, and burgers, and just more FOOD all the time around me. Just let me lean back and gorge myself so that there isn't a literal inch of room left inside of my massive ball gut. I just wanna eat and gorge and watch movies and TV like a mindless bottomless pit. Unable to stop cramming the food in my mouth which only makes my belly even bigger.

I can't stop eating, can't stop getting fatter. I just want bigger and bigger portions each time. Always ordering the most, eating it, and asking others to finish their plate too. I just can't stop filling my gut with food, it needs more it always needs more. It sometimes feels as though something primal inside of me to just feast and eat at every opportunity. To keep asking for more food, to keep trying to eat more and push more inside of me. I NEED more inside of me. Doesn't matter if we just ate, lets get another burger so I can keep forcing food down into me. Hey are we going to the arcade? They have pizza there right? Just every where I go addicted to eating and feeding myself.

It's not even hunger anymore. It's just something more than that. Because I'm definitely not hungry after eating an entire gut busting burrito. But still I want more. I want more cookies, or pasta, or burgers, or pizza. My gut is groaning with all that food crammed in it and I'm patting it just saying I wish I had more. Why? Why do I want more?! Why can't I just stop? My gut won't let me stop eating until it feels like its going to burst. Until I literally am gasping for air because my GUT cannot physically stretch anymore.

Also going to see Buttonspop again too tomorrow and I think we're gonna have another food filled time that's going to really put the strain on my new pants...

[ghostlykeyes]

HI honeyy I love ur blog!!! can u please write the headcanons for kayn and K/da f!reader...how do the two of them explain their relationship to their fans or maybe they give a moment in a few shows?

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HEARTSTEEL KAYN: K/DA READER ♡ Female Reader ♡ SFW, with slight touching/sensuality ♡ No TWs ♡ THIS GOT SO LONG. I am willing to write more for this situation, since I had to cut a lot of my OG ideas to make room for what felt the most important...truly Kayn floods my mind and cannot be expressed or exhausted

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

KAYN

When Akali dragged you along to one of Kayn's birthday parties, all she wanted was a drinking buddy to keep her company while Kayn was doing, quote, "birthday boy shit". She wasn't expecting you and Kayn to hit it off so well. She definitely wasn't expecting to find you two wedged in a coat closet, shoving your tongues down each other's throats. She had two words for Kayn as she linked her arm in yours and tugged you out from between a leather jacket and an 80's windbreaker; "Do. not."

But, after two torturously long weeks of you never shutting up about Kayn during rehearsals, and Kayn texting her so much she has to threaten to block him for any sort of peace and quiet (at all hours of the night and day, "hey gimme your hot friend's number", over and over AND OVER AND OVER), Akali comes around. She's just worried for you. Kayn's got quite the reputation, and she doesn't want him to fuck around with you and break your heart. But, she figures, you're both adults, so who is she to stand in the way of whatever you've got going on. So she eventually texts Kayn your number, but not without a warning; "you remember I know martial arts, yeah? and that I can totally kick your fucking ass? don't break my girl's heart dipshit".

On the whole, K/DA supports your budding relationship with Kayn. Even though he's a bit wild, the group's whole thing is about being individual and true to yourself—it seems hypocritical to tell you that you can't be caught holding hands with Kayn in line at Chipotle anymore for the sake of the band's image.

Heartsteel is a bit more tentative about you and Kayn. Alune's nervous to have Kayn dating such a high-profile star when Heartsteel has literally JUST broken onto the scene. But, this is Kayn, after all. What are they going to ask him to do, stop seeing you? He wouldn't listen. Besides, you do seem like a good influence in his life, and if the way his eyes light up whenever he sees your name pop up on his phone screen say anything, he's crazy about you. Eventually Alune sways other management and teams to embrace your relationship, as long as the two of you try to keep it relatively low-key.

If anyone ever implies he's with you to boost Heartsteel's fame or that he's trying to ride K/DA's coattails to the top, Kayn blows up. "We don't need shit from anybody," he sneers, "we're gonna climb to the top all by our fucking selves. Oh, and if you think (Y/N) would settle for anything less than a born rockstar? You're fucking stupid."

For your part, you're more subtle when publicly discussing your relationship with Kayn, but you still shoot down any ideas that he's with you for your status. "Heartsteel definitely doesn't need K/DA's help," you assert. "They're superstars and they're earning their spot on the music scene fair and square."

Kayn is your absolute fucking biggest superfan. He knows your lyrics front-to-back, he shows up to every single event he can, and he even uses Ezreal's Mercari account to snag rare merch that's being resold. Kayn tries to play it cool, but come on. You've seen the amount of posters he tries to hide in his closet. Only a fanboy has a collection like that.

There's hundreds of paparazzi photos of you two floating around on the internet, and Kayn's got a love-hate relationship with that fact. On the one hand, he loves being seen with you—what better way to claim you as his own than a photo of him literally grabbing your ass on the cover of a trashy gossip mag? On the other hand, can't a guy get some goddamn privacy? He hates that he has to share you with anyone, prying 'journalists' included. To make light of it, though, you two have started a little game. You send each other the wildest claims you can find about your relationship, trying to one up the other. Kayn's still winning with the article claiming that he's exercising some kind of mind-control to make you his girlfriend.

Flipping off the camera and open-mouth kissing you is one of Kayn's favorite poses to strike if he notices paparazzi lurking. For your part? You're just happy for his attention.

Kayn loves when you sneak into his shows. You usually have to wear a hoodie and go incognito to avoid getting mobbed, but don't worry, Kayn can pick you out of a crowd no matter what you're wearing. Sometimes, if you're standing close enough to the stage, he'll take off his shirt and toss it at you. He gets off on the attention, on thousands of people all-but-worshipping him, and if his favorite person is in the throng, knowing his worst parts but screaming for him alongside everyone else, just the same? Ego-boost of the fucking century. He may not express it to you often, but he really, really appreciates when you come see his shows.

Your packed schedules present a challenge, and Kayn despises the fact that you're often touring hours away from him. He still tries to talk to you as much as possible, even if it's not in person. Expect daily FaceTime calls, frequent Discord DM's, and around the clock blurry pictures of Kayn causing mischief.

Bless Akali's heart because Kayn absolutely harasses her about you. Whenever you're busy, he bugs her; "tell my gf to come back from the ded". Anytime you're on tour, he Venmoes her money to buy you your favorite fast food. She complains to you constantly—"tell your purse dog to stop yipping at me"— but really, she doesn't mind spoiling you by proxy. She's just happy that Kayn dotes on you so much.

Kayn jokes about making you late for rehearsal a lot—especially if he's halfway down your neck in a heated makeout sesh—but the truth is, that's never going to happen. Sure, he dicks around a lot, but he never gives less than one-hundred-and-ten to Heartsteel and he's not about to let you slack off, either. That includes making sure you get to your K/DA commitments on time (even if your neck is littered with hickies).

Kayn loves when you show him your choreography. He listens intently as you explain how to go through the steps, or complain about what you're struggling with. Often, he'll offer critique; "you look a little off-balance, try standing this way," or "Have you tried positioning a little more to the left?". Sometimes, these are genuine tips. Most of the time, though, he's just looking for an excuse to feel you up. What better way to sneakily touch your boobs than "suggesting" your chest needs to come out more?

[radiance1]

Vlad has been asleep for a few centuries now, in a goddamn coffin that he specifically made just for that like the weird rich person he is. He was also, the phoenix king.

Or at the very least, one of them.

Honestly, Danny couldn't give less of a flying cheerio how long Vlad would sleep for if it wasn't an inconvenience to it.

But it was.

You see, he's the ghost prince, prince of the infinity realms, dragon of infinity, son of war and ward of time, etc, etc.

And somehow, he has bloody paperwork.

Even though the Infinite Realms fell into Anarchy eons ago.

So he honestly doesn't know why he has paperwork, and it's so much that Danny has been spending centuries doing it and he's so tired of it and then he remembered, hey? Who likes can do mountains of paperwork without breaking a sweat and could finish this way better than Danny could?

Vlad Masters.

Hasn't seen the guy after his mother died, don't know where exactly he is, but he isn't in his lair (yes Danny managed to get in, don't ask how) and Danny is going to find this man by the Ancients because he cannot deal with those anymore.

He barely even made a dent!

Anyways, so Danny goes over to Earth because he hasn't been there for a hot minute, and that's probably where Vlad is and uh, woah there is this really Earth cause it's lookin mighty different to how he saw it last time-

Why was the Earth currently covered in flames? Black flames that look mighty familiar to someone else's that he knows actually. You know, someone who should have been sleeping the centuries away instead of, oh he doesn't know.

Taking over the mortal world?

It even seems that Vlad got himself a goddamn cult too! How neat! How much time did it take you to assemble all these people Vlad? You even gave out pieces of your power when you could've been, oh, he doesn't know.

Helping him with paperwork?

So, he's kinda mad about this, pissed, actually. So, he goes to find where exactly Vlad is in this reign of madness, finds a literal crack in reality and just heads on through because he couldn't care less about that actually.

What he finds is not what he expected.

Cause you know Vlad? Phoenix king who is probably trying to take over the mortal world instead of helping him with paperwork and was supposed to be sleeping inside a coffin?

Yea scratch that. Because that isn't a coffin.

When the hell was Vlad sleeping inside a magical barrier-

And who the heck was that spamming Vlad's signature black flames while laughing manically, and who in the infinite realms were those guys who were currently fighting said spammer.

"What exactly, in the Infinite Realms, happened while I was doing paperwork?"

===

So, the Justice League is now combating a new world ending threat. Some cult who wants to cleanse the world in the name of their deity so they could hand it to him once he reawakens.

Which, apparently, might've been around for centuries, slowly preparing for this day which, dedicated, but not the good kind of dedication really.

So, back to the fight, they're fighting this possible immortal who's been taking over the bodies of each new head of the cult for centuries and, well, he genuinely had power to back him and his cult up.

Not really a shock there, to be fair, since he claimed his powers to originate from the sleeping deity who blessed him with a portion of his power.

Vlad didn't, bro just stole a portion of his power and claimed it as a blessing lawl. Not that the cult knew that-

So the Justice League managed to break their way into the place holding said sleeping deity that also acted as the base for the cult leader and, well. Yea he truly does have the power to back himself up and, if the magic users had anything to say about, a very magically powerful deity he follows too.

So they're kinda screwed if said Deity wakes up, they don't even know when he will actually, neither did the cult leader. He just will 'eventually' which isn't as descriptive as some (read: Batman) would like.

First things first, beat up and disband the cult, figure out a way to prevent the sleeping deity's awakening later.

So they were fighting a battle (shocker I know) with their forces spread between their world and the pocket dimension and things weren't looking quite as good as they hoped. Lots of causalities, both civilians, heroes and even villains alike, a whole lot of magic and powers being thrown about and the monologuing of the cult leader who was floating above said sleeping god.

You could even think it to be symbolic in some way, that he thinks himself above a god.

So, safe to say, in all of this chaos they weren't exactly expecting a new voice to join the fray.

"What exactly, in the Infinite Realms, happened while I was doing paperwork?"

And the owner of said voice, to be a goddamn dragon.

[streetlight11]

I Will Always Love You

Summary: You have known each other for years and practically watched the other grow up thanks to living right next door. Nobody knows how you both truly feel except for yourselves. Now that you're in your mid twenties, you felt the need to put all that childish acts aside and finally acknowledge that feeling you've both kept in your hearts for years

Theme: neighbours au, friends to sort of enemies to lovers

Genre: slowburn, smidge of angst, romance, fluff

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drunk, slight tension, snowed in briefly, slight anxiety, mild language

W/C: 10k

Pairing: Lee Minho x Fem!Reader

a/n: Happy New Year everyone! 🎉 May 2024 bring peace, health, happiness and success to you all 🩵 Thank you to those who follow my account and for liking my writings that I've posted thus far! To many more writings and ideas this year 💃🏽

You and Minho go way back. You practically grew up with him since he was indeed your neighbour. It’s impossible to split you up with him back in kindergarten and the first few years of primary school. Both of you were like two peas in a pod, even your close friends and classmates knew about your very close friendship with him. Despite his odd personality that just screams Scorpio and his peculiar love for dark humour, you seem to adapt to him really well that not many people can do. Unfortunately, halfway through primary school, his friends started to separate you from Minho.

They would hang out with him before you could find him after school, they would call you multiple different names saying you’re clingy, they would embarrass you by saying you only stick under Minho’s arms like a leech wherever he went. And the worse part is, Minho did nothing to defend you. He did nothing to stop his own friends from bullying you like that.

That was the reason why you slowly distanced yourself from him since his friends would literally shoo you away like you were a peasant.

Eventually, you grew a dislike of him for what he did, even up till this day where you were both turning 25 in September and October. The thing is, you both still lived with your parents which means you still see him everyday just that he lives a completely separate life from you. Your sister however has moved out long ago since she got married.

No doubt, you miss being close to him.

Those times where you would laugh and play catch with him in his backyard. When you’d cry in his arms when someone in kindergarten steals your crayons. Where you would stay up with him past bedtime, writing whatever you wanted to say to each other on drawing blocks and showing it to the other at your bedroom windows that were facing each other. How he would walk with you to and from school, wanting to act like the bigger one since he’s a boy when in reality, he’s 27 days younger than you. Minho was your best friend but that’s just it, isn’t it?

He was your best friend… Not anymore…

Both of you grew up really well thanks to puberty and deep down, Minho couldn’t lie that you still look the same except you’ve gotten prettier. Your fashion sense is still somewhat boyish but not as bad as when you were younger, where you just wore big shirts and ¾ trousers. Now, you’ve worn dresses and skirts a few times for special occasions but you always wore jeans.

Sometimes you go for a feminine outfit with skinny jeans and crop tops while on some days you go for oversized shirts or hoodies with baggy cargo pants or jeans. And you are never a heels girl, only for special occasions. Most of the time, you are seen in sneakers and it suits you a lot. He’d be damned but he agrees that you look the best in sneakers.

You look a lot more confident in sneakers compared to heels. The only thing is, he’s been hiding a big secret from everyone including his parents that he doesn’t plan on revealing it to anyone anytime soon. Minho can lie to everyone but he cannot lie to himself. Seeing you grow up before his eyes, watching all the good and bad times you go through, seeing how puberty did its magic on you and witnessing how different of a person you are now in terms of personality, Minho couldn’t help but fall in love with you.

Unfortunately, his ego is too high for him to easily admit that so he chose to keep that a secret from everyone and act as if he still doesn’t like you.

It is a rainy Saturday evening and your friends Changbin and Chan came over earlier to study and do your assignments together with you. Changbin drove here while Chan rode his motorbike and since the weather wasn’t that great, your mother insists for them to stay for dinner or at least until the rain stops. You were in the kitchen, helping your mother prepare the food and plates on the dining table when they both offered to help. Your dad was out working overtime so it’s just you and your mother at home with your two friends.

She then asked you to text your dad saying there’s food at home and he doesn’t have to buy it after work. You remembered your phone was in your room so you rushed up the stairs to find it. A few minutes passed and you still haven’t come downstairs. Mothers being mothers, she gave the boys a sympathetic smile before she asked either one of them to go check on you.

Changbin nodded and left as Chan stayed behind to help scoop out the beef stew into the bowl. Meanwhile, Changbin softly approaches your room to see where you are. When he saw you by your vanity table where your phone is charging, he tiptoed over to you who was standing with your back facing him.

You were busy texting your best friend Lily when suddenly, a strong muscular pair of arms wrapped around your waist to surprise you. You gasped softly from surprise, glancing to your right to find Changbin’s grinning face just staring back at you.

“What’s taking you so long, dummy?” He asked, earning a laugh from you.

“I was texting Lily. Why? Missed me already?” You teased him knowing there was no effect on him because he is already happily in love with his best friend and boyfriend, Felix.

“Of course, I always miss you.” Changbin said, nudging your cheek with his nose playfully.

He finally lets go of you and leaves the room with you hand in hand. Both of you completely missed the way someone witnessed all this from across your bedroom window in the dark. You came back downstairs to have dinner with everyone, only for your dad to come home when you were halfway done with your meal. Hours passed and you were in your bedroom with your friends when Chan stood by your window to look at the night sky. Suddenly, his words caught your attention.

“Hey Y/N, is that your neighbour you told us about?” Chan asked while staring at something downstairs. You got out of bed and walked towards him only to follow his trail of sight. Sure enough, you saw Minho playing catch with his cats. If you remember correctly, they were Soonie, Doongie and Dori. You naturally smiled at the sight of him playing with his cats.

“Yeah…” You simply said before Changbin frowned at you with a question in mind.

“Wasn’t he like your best friend at one point?” He asked, making you sigh and walked back into your room to sit on your bed.

“He was…”

“Then what happened?” Chan asked as he now sat on your study chair, curiously waiting for your reply.

“We… grew apart.”

“There must be a reason why you grew apart, no? I mean, if you two were really close friends, you wouldn’t wanna grow apart from each other… Unless something happened that made you choose that path.” Changbin said and you immediately felt upset.

“We used to be inseparable. He never told me he wanted me to give him space or anything and he simply stayed close to me too wherever we went. Until our third year in primary school, his friends started calling me names and said I was always clinging onto him like a leech. He never said anything to defend me or stop his friends. Ever since then, I slowly distanced myself from him because of his friends and he never apologised so I just decided to forget about it.” You finally explained to them the full story.

“I’m so sorry…” Chan said, making you smile despite the tears threatening to fall.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” You said as they both looked at each other and Changbin decided to drop the bomb on you.

“Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure. What is it?” You asked as you waited for his reply.

“Do you miss him?”

You fell silent for a while, not knowing how to respond. Your mind screams no but your heart screams yes. It’s difficult to choose one answer but you knew deep down, which is the right answer you’ve been holding onto all these years.

“I do…”

They chose to drop the topic and talked about the plan next weekend to hangout at the club. They soon left to head home after saying and hugging you goodbye at your doorstep since it was no longer raining. That night, before you went to sleep, you walked over to close your window and turn on your air conditioner when you saw Minho cradling Soonie in his arms as he entered his bedroom. You quickly closed the window and drew the translucent curtain over to cover your window while you peeked to see him.

Minho kissed Soonie’s nose as he nuzzled his face into her body. She licked his nose a few times before he placed her down on his bed and soon walked over to his window. You quickly hid behind the wall, afraid he might see you. If only you knew the reason why he actually went to his window, you wouldn’t have moved away that quickly.

A week later, you were just getting ready to head out with Chan and Changbin while your parents were out for their anniversary dinner. You wore a pretty lavender body fitting dress that stops about two inches above your knees. Changbin texted you saying he was already on his way to your house in a cab, together with Chan. Knowing they would reach in just 5 minutes, you decided to head downstairs and waited there instead. You had just locked your front door when the sound of a door closing followed by keys jingling made you turn to your right.

There, you saw Minho leaving his house as well. He was wearing a black silk dress shirt with the first few buttons undone, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, tucked into his light washed denim skinny jeans and a pair of mens boots. His hair was styled up to show his forehead and bangs to fall and frame his face.

He looked sickeningly handsome. You’re almost jealous of it.

“Does mommy know you’re sneaking out of the house?” Minho asked as he came next to you who was just leaning on the short brick wall that separates your house yard from his.

“I don’t need to sneak out because they know where I’m going.” You said with a soft scoff.

“Mmm, so they’re aware that you’re going out wearing something like this? Naughty girl…” Minho teased you with that charming smirk on his face.

“I’m 25, Minho. I can wear whatever I want.”

“Technically, you’re still 24.” He’s right. You still have four months till your birthday but who cares.

“You’re so annoying.” You whispered to yourself as you saw a taxi gradually slowing down towards you. When the vehicle finally comes to a stop in front of you, the two heads that popped out from the windows made you relax. It was Chan, Changbin and Felix. You entered the cab without saying anything else to Minho, ignoring the way he was keeping his eye on you even after the cab had driven off. One thing he completely forgot to do was to compliment you on how pretty you looked tonight.

Half an hour later, you arrived at the club and soon got out of the vehicle with your friends. You managed to enter the club since the queue wasn’t that long and made your way to the bar to get your drinks. You stayed by Chan the entire time since Felix was with Changbin. That night, you had no idea why but you just felt like letting loose and drinking however much booze your body can take.

Minutes ticked by and you were now on your 7th shot of tequila. You were clearly drunk but not enough to drop dead unconscious. Chan was talking to you about this girl he met on this dating app and was just listing out all the things he liked about her when you suddenly dragged him to the dancefloor. He danced with you with no sense of awareness of your surroundings. Everyone else was just as drunk as you, dancing their hearts out letting their limbs move to the beat.

You were too busy swaying your hips to the song when someone slips in front of you and takes your hands in his gently. Your vision was hazy as you found it difficult to keep your eyes open. The person danced with you, bringing your hands up over his shoulders and dropping them there while his hands rested on your lower back comfortably. For some reason, you felt like the touch was very familiar.

The music was drowning you, wanting to just focus your vision on the person you’re dancing with. Just then, he leaned down to say something in your ear, loud enough to hear over the booming music.

“You’re very drunk.” He said, your mind was running amuck.

“I know.” You giggled but he kept his lips by your ears, not wanting to pull back and let you see his face.

“I should take you home.”

“N-No… Take me to your home.” You giggled as you tangled your fingers in his hair softly to play with it.

“I don’t think you will like that, Y/N.”

Oh, he knows your name. This must be Chan… right?

He then guides you towards the entrance, only for you to panic saying you need to tell your friends that you’re going home and all that so they wouldn’t get worried. But instead, he told you to do that in the cab to avoid you from falling down. Not long after, the cab came and you entered the vehicle with him. During the car ride, you ended up falling over with your head in his lap. You fell asleep with your left arm stretched over the seat while your right hand gently held onto his thigh for support.

The next thing you knew, you woke up the next morning in your bed with a really bad hangover. And yet, the memories from yesterday still lingers in the back of your mind and the mysterious guy remains unknown. Later in the afternoon, you went to make a group call with Chan and Changbin and they picked up your call with ease.

“Hello?” You asked into the line and they both replied at the same time.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Were any of you guys with me last night at the dancefloor?” You said and you could hear both of them humm in thought.

“I was with you briefly when you dragged me to the centre but I don’t really remember anything after. I was really drunk.” Chan laughed.

“I was with Lix the entire time. So I’m clearly out of the picture.” Changbin giggled as you heard a shuffle from his end but then it stopped.

“Because I was dancing with someone and he sent me home last night. I thought it was one of you guys.”

“Definitely not me then.” Changbin said and so did Chan.

“I don’t think I was sober enough to even send myself home…” Chan said lightly but then he paused. The line fell silent and he spoke up again, “But if neither of us sent you home, who did? And how would they know where you live?”

He does have a great point.

“That’s what I’m confused about. How would a stranger know where I lived? Unless it’s one of you guys?” You asked as your brain began to search for ideas on who it could be. All but one was suddenly missing from your list by accident.

“Maybe it’s your sister!” Changbin said only for you to scoff in disbelief.

“It was a guy! And why would my married sister be at a club when she has a pair of twins to take care of?” You asked, only for Chan to laugh out loud and tease the other male in the call.

“Maybe it’s your cousin?” Chan asked but you knew it wasn’t a relative. Just then, Changbin mentions someone you completely forgot about.

“What if it’s him?”

“Him… who?” You asked in a slow pace, hoping he wasn’t talking about who you’re thinking.

“Your hot but ex-best friend neighbour?” You can’t believe he said it.

“No… No, it can’t be. How would he know I was there? That’s impossible.”

“Probably he just happened to be at that same club. That is the only club in this area anyway…” Chan suggested, making you frown. What if it’s true? That’s the only logical explanation as to how the person knew where you lived and knew your name. If it wasn’t any of your friends, it couldn’t have been a total stranger. But why? Why would he do that when he clearly didn’t have to?

This isn’t making any sense…

Nevertheless, you made an excuse saying you needed to help your mom run some errands so you ended the call. That night, you were just sitting by your window staring at the beautiful starry night sky when you saw Minho enter his room. He paced around his room with a deep frown on his face. Just then, he took you by surprise as he grabbed the hem of his hoodie and pulled it over his head, leaving him shirtless for you. A soft gasp left your lips as you quickly closed your window before he saw you.

Little did you know, right after he took off his hoodie, he heard the sound of your windows being closed so his gaze naturally flew across the room just in time to see you lock your last window and disappeared into your room. Minho chuckled quietly to himself as he went to take a quick shower. After he was done, he laid in bed staring into his ceiling with the same scene just repeating over and over again in his head.

The way you danced with him last night, the way your fingers tangled into his hair, the way you fell into his lap, the way you slept the entire car ride back home, the way he carried you into your home and all the way to your bedroom, the way you unconsciously whined when he pulled away from you, the way he took the chance to gently caress your cheek while whispering the words he never dared to say to you in person now, the way your lips looked so soft and kissable but he had to restrain himself from doing something while knowing you were drunk.

Minho pushed all those thoughts to the back of his mind, hoping he’ll forget all about it as the days go by. Wanting none of that to bother him because if it does, he would probably come knocking at your doorstep and tell you how he truly feels about you. Clearly his ego would be crushed by that so he chooses not to.

Months had passed and it was your birthday today. Your parents invited your sister’s family, your friends Chan, Changbin, Lily and also Minho’s family over to the house for your birthday celebration. It was just going to be a private birthday party for you. You wore a pretty blue semi flowy dress to match the theme of the decorations. Your mother knew you loved blue so that’s why the decorations were all blue in colour. With the right amount of food and desserts she ordered, you can’t wait to have a good time. The only thing is, you were kind of hoping Minho would come.

You missed him a lot but you weren’t sure if he feels the same towards you. Nonetheless, those thoughts were thrown out of the bus the minute your friends arrived. The party started after 3pm and your friends came just one minute after 3 so you got distracted really fast. As the hour went by, your sister, your brother in law and your twin nephew and niece finally came. You greeted them warmly while your brother in law handed you a gift bag.

“Happy birthday Y/N! Your sister and I picked this out for you so we hope you like it.” He said, making you laugh.

“Thank you! I just hope it’s not something weird.” You joked and they laughed. Your niece and nephew hugged you to say hello and wish you a happy birthday before they went to greet your parents. A few minutes later, your doorbell rang again so you went to see who it was. Surprised to see Mr and Mrs Lee standing there with a gift bag and a box filled with home baked cookies.

“Happy birthday dear. Here’s your birthday present and the cookies you loved to eat when you were younger.” Mrs Lee said, making you giggle.

“Aww Mrs Lee, you shouldn’t have…”

“It’s okay my dear. Today is your day.” Mr Lee said as you welcomed them in. Though you did feel a little sad that Minho wasn’t here with them, maybe he really doesn't care about you anymore. You joined your friends in your living room as they played with the twins. Just then, Changbin spoke up from beside you.

“He didn’t come?”

“No…” You said but somehow, he could tell your tone was off.

“Were you hoping he’d come?” He asked softly, not wanting to upset you in any way possible. Your silence was enough for him to apologise even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. Changbin rested his hand over your knee and gently caressed it to comfort you and it partially worked. Hours passed and you were just playing with your niece when the doorbell rang.

“Y/N sweetie, can you go and see who that is?” Your mom called from the dining table where the adults were eating and chatting. With that being said, you nodded and got up to see who it was. Maybe your mom ordered something she forgot about. As soon as you pulled the door open, you froze at the sight of someone too familiar standing at your doorstep. Minho glanced down at your attire before meeting your eyes and he gave you a little smirk.

“W-What are you doing here?” You asked rather softly, unable to calm your nerves.

“What does it look like? I came to celebrate your birthday… And also have free food.” Minho said as he took a step forward while you took a step back. Minho smirked at you cheekily before he tapped the tip of your nose with his finger and whispered, “It’s good to see you again.”

The minute he walked in, your parents greeted him with so much love. Your mom hugged him tightly and he embraced her as though she was his mother. Your mother asked him to make himself at home and just take whatever food he wants, only for him to thank her. Meanwhile, you glanced over to your friends and both Changbin and Chan looked at you with shocked eyes.

The twins greeted Minho warmly as he lifted your niece on his waist while your nephew ran to take his favourite stuffed animal and bring it to Minho.

You’ve never seen him mingle around with kids before, not really knowing what to expect considering he’s an only child. So to see him being greeted warmly by kids who basically met him for the first time, it’s making your heart tingle. To avoid looking obvious, you quickly went to sit next to Changbin while Lily and Chan were talking about school. Your friend looks at you worriedly but all you did was smile.

“Are you okay?” He asked, making you nod.

“Are you sure?” He asked again, knowing you damn well that you’re not anywhere near okay.

“Yeah! I’m okay.” You smiled as you watched Minho get dragged by the kids to play with them together with Chan and Lily who were seated by the toys. Every now and then, Minho would glance at you and you’ll look away as though you didn’t mean to look at him.

Minho’s lips would unconsciously curl upwards slightly without making it obvious that he’s smiling at you. The sun was starting to set and your mother was preparing the candles for your cake. You were just in your room, charging your phone and also wanting to get away from the whole awkward situation downstairs for a bit when a familiar voice speaks up from your bedroom doorstep.

“I thought the birthday girl should be downstairs mingling with her guests?” He asked as you turned around to find Minho leaning against your doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. Why does he look so fucking handsome tonight in just a plain black shirt and jeans?

“I was just about to head back down.” You said, avoiding his gaze as you turned your back to him once more. Minho carefully walked over to you while keeping the conversation alive.

“Really? You don’t seem like you are going to move any time soon though.”

“I-I have to send an email for my school work.”

“For 10 minutes? Yeah right.” He said as his voice sounded a lot closer now. You turned around to say something to him but instead, you flinched back when your arms accidentally crashed into his chest. A soft gasp left your lips when he smirked down at you charmingly.

“U-Um… We should go downstairs.” You said as you slipped past him to head towards the door but Minho caught your wrist and tugs you back slightly to stop you from walking.

“Hey… I just-” Minho’s words get stopped when your sister’s voice echoes down the hallway.

“Y/N? Minho? Come on! It’s time to cut the cake!” She suddenly appears by your door only for Minho to let go of your wrist gently so she wouldn’t question anything. Soon, all three of you went downstairs but while you were about to head to the dining table where the cake was lit, Minho spoke up, earning a frown from you.

“I have to go. I just remembered I need to submit my essay tonight and I still haven’t finished it yet.” Minho said as he bowed to your parents and was about to walk out of the house when you reached for his hand in yours and tugged him back gently.

“N-No, please… Don’t go?” You whispered with a shaky breath. Minho could’ve sworn he saw tears, his heart broke seeing you tear up but he couldn’t just hug and kiss you right there even if that’s all he could think of. So instead, he reached up to hold your face with his right hand and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb to comfort you.

“Happy birthday Y/N.” He whispered softly as he turned and left without looking back. You stood by the door as Chan came over to take you in. Not before he rested a gentle hand on your lower back and comforted you as best as he could.

“Come on… He’ll come around soon. You know he will.” He said, only for you to sigh. Throughout the night, you weren’t as happy as you were a few hours ago. From time to time, you kept glancing over to the house next to yours. Your friends could tell that your mind was somewhere else so they decided not to stay long. But before they left, they made sure to hug you tightly and Lily didn’t forget to say something sweet to you.

“If he’s meant for you, he will come back. Only idiots would be dumb enough to not choose you as a partner.” Lily said, making you giggle lightly. That night, you couldn’t help but feel sad thinking about how Minho slipped away from you yet again. You were just curled up in bed when there was a soft knock on your bedroom door.

“Baby? Are you still awake?” Your mother asked as she opened your door. You hummed to respond, hearing her walk closer until she was right behind you.

“Oh, my sweet baby. Come here.” She said while climbing into bed, only for you to immediately throw yourself in her arms and cry. She held you in her arms securely while you cried your heart out.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“I-I never said this to anyone before… b-but I-I miss him…”

“I know, baby. I’m sure he misses you too… Just… Give him some time to figure things out. I’m sure he’ll come around.” She said, hoping you’ll feel better. Thankfully, you calmed down with her words so you stopped crying and she kissed your forehead before tucking you into bed.

It’s been 2 and a half months now since your birthday party. You didn’t celebrate Minho’s birthday simply because his parents told you he was out of the country with his friends for his birthday. A part of you knows he was just trying to avoid you and so his parents couldn’t throw a party for him only to invite you. Just last week, your parents told you about their plan on going for a staycay with the Lee’s family for the holidays. Apparently they’ve already booked the accommodation which is a beautiful wooden lodge up in the snowy mountains.

It was only after they told you that you remembered it was your friend’s wedding on the day they planned to leave for the mountains. Unfortunately for you, it seems like you have no other choice but to go the next day instead. How you would make your way to the mountain, that’s your task to do some planning at least you can join them on the trip anyway. Your sister and her family would be going too but they’re all leaving on the first day morning but you had to stay behind.

Today was the day where your family and his, had already left to go to the lodge up the mountains while you’re here preparing for your friend’s wedding. Hours prior to leaving the house, you made sure to pack all the clothes you need for your trip so that you wouldn’t be rushing tomorrow or tonight knowing you’ll be back way past 7pm despite the wedding reception starting at 1pm. It was one of your old friend’s wedding from college. Her name is Roseanne and she is considered one of your close friends.

You wore a pretty turquoise boat neck dress that stops a few inches below your knees, pairing that with a simple pair of black open toe heels. Your hair cascades down your shoulder and back in soft straight waves.

When you arrived at the wedding venue, it was very beautiful. The colour scheme for the wedding decorations and the altar is just spectacular. Since you were there alone, you didn’t really know anyone there except for Roseanne’s sister and parents. Time passes by so fast, you don’t even realise it was almost 10 o’clock now. You knew you needed to head home and get your rest since you planned to leave early in the morning tomorrow.

With that being said, you bid her family goodbye and made sure to meet Roseanne and her newlywed husband to say your final congrats before leaving the venue. You called a cab and it came as soon as you called. The drive back home seemed shorter than the drive to the venue earlier, maybe due to less traffic at night.

Nevertheless, you paid the cab fare and got out of the vehicle after saying thank you. The cab driver soon drives off while you went inside your house and locked it.

You let out a tired sigh as you dragged yourself up the stairs to your bedroom. You turned on the lights and walked over to your vanity table beside your bedroom window. Taking a quick glance, you saw that his bedroom was dark. You wondered what he could be doing there at the lodge with your family.

With a soft sigh, you combed your fingers through your hair and brought it up to hold it in place with your claw clip. You began to remove your makeup with your makeup wipes while blasting your favourite tunes. Luckily you already packed your clothes and necessities. A few minutes later, you just left the bathroom down the hall when your phone started ringing. You glanced down to see your mother’s caller ID on your lock screen so you answered it.

“Hello?” You said into the line.

“Hi sweetie. Have you packed your bags?”

“Yeah. I’m just bringing my luggage and my sling bag.”

“Great! Anyway, there seems to be a change of plans. Minho is actually home right now and he planned to drive up the mountains tonight so he would reach here tomorrow morning. Since you’re both at home, why don’t you go with him tonight? He just got off the phone with his mother and he said he’s okay with driving here with you.”

Minho’s not with them?

“Oh… Uh… Sure, I guess.” You said, sounding a little unconvincing to her and she laughed.

“Alright dear, just be downstairs before midnight, okay? I love you baby.”

“Okay mom. I love you too.” You said before ending the call.

Great… What better way to have a reunion by spending a 6 hour drive with him. This is gonna be awkward…

Nonetheless, you did what was necessary before midnight rolled around. It was finally midnight in a blink of an eye and you were just locking your front door when you heard his voice speak up from behind you.

“Didn’t think you’d be left behind as well.”

You turned around to find him strolling towards you in his sweatpants, hoodie with his oversized shirt peeking underneath it and a long windbreaker jacket over it. His hair was damp and fluffy so you’re assuming he just got out of the shower and yet, he still looks good.

“Wedding bells were calling me. What about you? Why aren’t you there with them already?” You asked as he took your luggage from you and placed it in his car boot and proceeded to close the door. Once you were both inside his jeep, he started the car and drove off smoothly not forgetting to answer you.

“I had to retake my exam today. I suck. I know, okay? Don’t judge.” He said, making you raise your hands in a surrender position. Minho’s lips curled up into a cute smile that made you look out the window to avoid his gaze.

For the rest of the drive, both of you got quiet. He focused on driving while you were dozing off after a tiring day. Minho never held a grudge against you for sleeping while he had to sacrifice his sleep and stay awake to drive. Although, he does tend to glance over to his right to check on you but it leaves his heart fluttering every time he does that. It’s been nearly 4 hours since the drive and as he got higher up the mountains, the snow was beginning to get heavier.

Cool air seeps through the car gaps, causing you to stir awake from the sudden drop in car temperature despite the heater already turned on. You glanced up to see the car completely covered in snow while a thick windbreaker was placed over your curled up body in the passenger seat.

“How much longer till we reach the lodge?” You asked tiredly as you peeked the time on your phone screen.

“Another 2 hours, give or take.” He said while keeping his eyes on the slippery road. There’s no way you can make it to the lodge in this weather. With how heavy the snow was falling, it could be a snowstorm coming your way pretty soon. So to avoid any unfortunate events, you knew it would be the best decision to stop somewhere and wait till the morning to continue your journey. Upon having this thought, you noticed there was a hotel lodge just a few metres ahead.

“Stop there. We can’t go any further in this kind of weather.” You said as Minho drove to the open parking lot at slow speed due to the piled up snow covering his tires and almost 6 inch tall snow that was covering the ground. Once you were parked, both of you felt a little worried considering it’s now or never.

“Leave our luggages here. We’re just here to let the night pass anyway.” He said, making you frown even though you knew he had a point.

With that being said, both of you struggled to get out of the car but you still made it to the lodge safely as he clicked the lock button on his key. You entered the lodge first with him following behind you and there were quite a number of families there too and it looks like they’re snowed in as well. Minho approached the counter where a man was seen a little overwhelmed by the new guests who showed up.

“Hi, can I know why are all these people gathered here?” Minho asked, only for the man to politely smile and answer professionally.

“They’re just here for shelter since the weather forecast for tonight isn’t that great. There is a high chance that we will be stuck here tonight. Really sorry for the unfortunate situation.”

“It’s fine but uh… do you guys happen to have a spare room for us to rest in for the night?” Minho asked as you simply watched quietly beside him. You’d usually butt in and argue back with whatever decisions he’s making but tonight, you’re too tired to function.

“We do have a small room but there’s only one bed and our heaters are not that strong due to the horrible weather. We can’t fix it until tomorrow when the mechanics are open. Will that be okay?” The man said, giving Minho the chance to look at you to see how you feel about the suggestion.

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Didn’t you hear what he just said? There’s just one bed and the heater isn’t working well. Do you still want the room or not?” He asked.

“At this point, I don’t even care.” You sighed tiredly only for Minho to give the man a shrug of his shoulders.

“Fine. We’ll take it.” Minho said as he then made the payment for the room. A few minutes later, you were both sent to your room on the third level. You thanked the worker as you entered the room after Minho who was now holding the door for you. As expected, the room was just barely warm with the cold air still surrounding the room completely. You were in three layers of clothing and yet you’re still shivering. The first thing you did after taking off your shoes was to climb into bed and bury yourself under the thick covers.

You were just curled up on one side of the bed when you felt the mattress dip with his weight. Minho pulled the cover up so he could also bury himself in it. He laid on his back while you laid on your side with your back facing him. The room was silent as nobody said anything but with the subtle shifts and movements, you knew that he wasn’t asleep.

“Should’ve asked for an extra blanket. It’s still so cold…” He whispered as he shifted a little closer to you when he felt the nice warmth radiating off you.

“I just hope the weather gets better later. But right now, all I need is sleep.” You said as you buried your arms closer to your chest to keep yourself warm. Silence fills the room again but you were still shivering and Minho could feel the bed vibrating softly from it.

“You know what? Fuck it. I can’t sleep like this.” Minho said as you wondered what he was going to do next.

Just then, you didn’t expect him to shuffle towards you until you felt his chest pressing against your back while his left arm slid over your waist and reached for your arm. He slips his hand into your right hand, lacing his fingers perfectly with yours before tangling his legs with yours underneath the covers. Your heart was racing rapidly in your chest now, afraid to make the slightest of sound and movement. But Minho calms you down by caressing your hand with his thumb, feeling his soft lips press on your neck.

“Are you still cold?” He whispered quietly against your neck, making you let out a very soft whimper before saying no.

“Good.” He replied to you, holding you closer right after. This kept you warm and you both eventually managed to fall asleep.

A few hours later, you woke up feeling comfortably warm and fuzzy. You let out a soft moan as you stirred awake, feeling something soft brush against your forehead. When you manage to open your eyes, that’s where you realise the sleeping position you were in. Minho was laying on his back with you resting your head on his chest.

Your left hand was tucked between your bodies while your right hand was lacing fingers with his that was hanging past your shoulder. Minho stirred awake when he felt you let go of his hand only to slide up his chest and stopped on the side of his neck. You stayed like that even when you felt his hand glide up and down your right forearm softly.

“This feels nice…” He said quietly, not really expecting a reply from you. Your heart swelled knowing he was talking about being this close and comfortable to you once again after years.

“We can stay like this for a while more…” Your voice was almost a whisper but thankfully he heard you. Because the minute those words left your lips, you felt him press the sweetest soft kiss to your forehead. Minho couldn’t stop himself from cracking a smile against your skin, knowing you probably felt it.

“I wouldn’t wanna let go anyway.” He said ever so softly, making you blush. With that being said, you snuggled deeper into his chest. Trying to ignore the urge to kiss him right there. About two hours later, you finally got out of bed and headed back down to resume your journey to the family lodge. Neither of you mentioned the cute little cuddle session simply because you were too shy to address it in the car and even when you arrived at the lodge a few minutes past noon.

Everyone asked you and Minho about what happened last night and where you’ve been, so you told them everything. All until the cuddling part. They were just glad that you both made it to the lodge safely so you could finally enjoy the holidays in the snowy mountains.

Throughout the next two days, you were enjoying yourself a lot on the trip. From the activities to sightseeing to homemade food and to family bonding. This has probably been the only time you saw just how fun Minho truly is and how loving he was towards your sister’s children. The twins are already 9 years old and yet, Minho seems to win both their hearts. Maybe including yours too.

It was the last night of the family trip, all of you were gathered around the christmas tree when your parents began to give out gifts to their kids and grandkids. Followed by Minho’s parents giving him his presents. You got a few pretty tops from your parents while your sister got you a beautiful necklace with a simple heart charm. Just then, Minho’s mother held out a wrapped present to you with a bright smile on her face.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart. This is a gift from us that Minho helped to choose. We hope you like it.” She said, making you thank her while taking the gift from her. All eyes were now on you as the kids wanted to help you unwrap so you let them do that. Once the present was revealed, a soft gasp left your lips when you saw the brand of the box. It was a shoe, not just any shoe though… It was your favourite shoe brand.

You carefully pulled the cover open and peeled the paper back only to gasp out loud this time. It was the exact shoe that you wanted to buy for yourself the other day but was prioritizing your expenses to only buy what you need.

“I love it… I wanted to buy this a few weeks ago but I didn’t…” Your voice grew softer with every word until you were now looking at Minho.

“I noticed you like shoes. So I just gambled and picked the one with a baby blue accent. Didn’t know you wanted this exact one though.” He said, making you giggle.

“Well, thank you for the gift then.” You said with a smile, earning a laugh from him.

An hour later, everyone was starting to disperse to head to bed but you weren’t sleepy yet. You bid everyone goodnight but you stayed seated against the couch facing the fireplace. You were just admiring the shoe when a familiar voice caught your attention.

“Be careful not to burn the shoe.” Minho said as he approached you with a teasing smirk.

“Of course I won’t. I’m not that clumsy.” You replied to him while putting the shoe back in the box and pushing it under the tree, away from the fireplace. Minho took a seat on the couch as you got up and plopped down beside him.

“But really though… Thank you for the gift.” You said, earning a soft smile from him. Both of you fell silent, blankly staring at the fireplace instead of each other. You were so close to removing yourself from the room, thinking he probably feels awkward with you here now that you’re alone again but he spoke up before you could run away.

“I’m sorry…” He said very quietly while staring into the fire.

“What are you sorry for?” You asked over a whisper, finally turning to look at him. Minho kept his gaze ahead but you saw the sadness lingering in his facial expression.

“For everything? I’ve hurt you a lot and only now do I have the balls to apologise.” He chuckled but it wasn’t a happy one.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” You said with a smile on your face, ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall. After what felt like hours, Minho finally turns to you with the deepest frown you’ve seen on him. He took his time boring his eyes into yours in search of something unknown to you.

“Why?” He asked and you were confused.

“Why not? That’s what friends do, no? They forgive each other…” You said easily only to go speechless when his eyes grew wide at the word ‘friends’. This was already pretty obvious where he got caught up and it doesn’t make sense to you. Sure you haven’t really been doing friend stuff with him for years but you still consider him your friend, even though deep down you want him to be something more.

“Friends?” He whispered out as a question so you couldn’t help but giggle lightly to brighten up the mood slightly.

“Yeah? Okay fine, technically we’re neighbours. Does that sound right to you?” You asked, only for him to finally crack a smile. This simple sight has undoubtedly awoken the butterflies in your stomach.

Both of you fell silent briefly, not really sure how to continue the conversation. You stared at your hands in your lap, picking on your cuticles out of anxiety and he noticed.

Minho could never stand seeing you having anxiety. The cuticle picking, shaking legs, fidgeting limbs and all he wants to do is to hold you close and tell you that he’s there with you. He takes this opportunity to calm you down and by that, he reaches one hand up to hold the side of your face and turn it towards him. Once you were facing him, you felt him caress your cheek with his thumb as he slowly leaned in. Partially scared that you might just pull away from him and embarrass him.

Your heart was palpitating rapidly in your chest, not really sure where this is going. Just when you feel his nose brush against the side of your nose, a familiar voice calls out to you very softly from behind Minho.

“Auntie Y/N? Can I sleep with you?” Your niece asked as Minho pulled away from you just in time for your niece to settle herself in your lap.

“Of course, baby. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” You said, turning her around to carry her in your waist while you stood up. Minho stood right after you but before you walked off, you cupped his face with your right hand and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Minho froze seeing you smile up at him only to then carry your niece to your room. That night, he slept with a smile on his face even though it was just a kiss to his cheek.

The next day, it was time to go back home. Since Minho drove there, he and his parents took his car while you followed your family car together with your sister’s family. Both of you never spoke about last night to anyone, not even to each other. The drive back home was filled with sleep and occasional laughter. When you arrived back home after sending your sister to her house, you made your way to your room to unpack and shower since it was already 8pm.

You had just finished showering and entered your room when you saw Minho shuffling around his room shirtless with damp hair falling down his head. Of course he looked handsome as ever but at least now you don’t have to quickly hide yourself from him to avoid him seeing you.

So instead of doing that, you continued doing what you planned on doing and that was to wear your clothes and unpack.

Minho stole a few glances into your room through his window as well but you didn’t seem to look over so he never waited for you anyway. He’s just happy that you’re no longer mad at him. That’s already a great start for him to redeem himself and maybe redo his friendship with you.

Besides, that’s all you both wanted with each other… To finally be friends again and possibly more.

It's been a few days now since the trip, yet neither you nor him have spoken to each other. Today is new years eve and you didn’t really have plans for midnight. Changbin was going to celebrate new years with Felix, Lily has a party to go to that was hosted by her friends in high school while Chan is out on a date with the girl he’s been talking about lately. It’s 2 hours to midnight and you were just lounging in bed, scrolling through your twitter when your mom came to your room with a bright smile on her face.

“Hi darling. You’re not going out with your friends tonight? It’s New Year's eve…” She laughed softly but you shrugged your shoulders as a response.

“Nope. All my friends already have their own plans. And besides, it’s just new year’s.” You said proudly, earning a smile from her.

“Well, in that case, why don’t you get ready. Someone’s here to take you out to see the fireworks.” She said, making you frown.

“Who?”

“Get ready and you’ll know.” She said before kissing your forehead and left the room. With that being said, you quickly changed into a thin sweater, a hoodie over it, ripped jeans and pinned your hair up in a claw clip. You opted to just fill your brows, put on chapstick and wear your contact lens on to avoid wasting time. Once you were sort of presentable, you took your phone and left your bedroom but you definitely weren’t prepared for when you arrived downstairs. There by your couch, was Minho leaning against the back of it with his arms crossed over his chest.

He was chatting with your dad and he looked so fucking handsome as always. Minho was wearing a simple white long sleeve with black and light grey flannel, a hooded leather jacket, skinny black jeans with his hair down completely not styled and yet he still looks good. When you finally reached the base of the stairs, both of them glanced over to you and you felt shy under his gaze.

“H-Hey…” You started and Minho couldn’t help but chuckled softly at your reaction. You dad smiled at you two, telling Minho to drive safe as he gave the boy a hug. You went over to hug your parents and soon left the house with Minho. The minute your front door closes, you spoke up to him in urgency.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to drag me out tonight?” You asked, earning a laugh from him.

“It was meant to be a surprise. I guess I’m just lucky that you’re home tonight.” He said casually.

He soon started the car and drove off into the night. You have completely no idea where he was taking you but after a while, you sort of have a clue since the drive was leading you to the highest point of town where the famous lookout point was. The drive to the location was filled with singing and laughing, not really having a proper conversation. When you arrived at the lookout point, you had about an hour left till midnight. Minho parked his car to the side of the road a few metres next to the railing.

“Do you wanna stay in the car or sit outside?”

“Let’s sit outside. The night sky looks really pretty tonight.” You smiled and he nodded to your suggestion. He locked his car and you both walked over to climb over the railing and sit on it facing the lookout point.

“Wow… I’ve never been here before.” You said as you took your time to admire the view. The starry night sky, the city lights, the wonderful view of the city at this time of night.

“I always come here if I need time alone. It calms me, weirdly enough.” Minho said, earning a nod from you.

“I can totally understand why. It’s beautiful up here.” You said while looking out into the city before you. At that moment, there’s nothing more beautiful to him than the sight of you here with him after years of missing you. Both of you chatted with each other and catched up with a lot of things you missed in one another’s life. When Minho realised it was almost midnight, he got up and told you he wanted to take something from the car. You let him be as you continued to stare into the night sky.

A few minutes later, you realised you had a minute left until midnight. You were just staring blankly at the city lights when Minho’s voice caught your attention.

“Hey, let’s stand. My ass hurts from sitting there too long.” He said, making you laugh. You did as he said only to join him behind the railing. Without any thoughts in mind, you stood facing the lookout point, only to hear everyone else around that area do a countdown. Naturally, you smiled as you hugged yourself.

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

“3.” He said.

“2.” You said.

“1…” You both said at the same time as everyone else yelled into the night, “Happy New Year!” At that exact moment, fireworks were brought to life as they exploded into the night sky in colourful arrays of sparks. You gasped at how pretty they looked, not regretting leaving the comforts of your bed for this. Just then you thought the night couldn’t get any better, a warm hand slips around your waist as you get turned around.

When you finally turned to the side, Minho slid his left hand onto your face and without any words exchanged, he locked lips with you. His heart was beating so fast as his hands shook from both the cold and his nerves. You smiled against his lips as you slid your hands up his chest and wrapped them around his shoulders. Minho was so scared that you would shove him away or slap him for being bold but he never thought you would kiss him back. You allowed him to pull you closer against his front, snaking both arms around your waist to secure his hold on you.

His lips were too addictive, you had to force yourself to pull away to breathe. Keeping your face close to him, you tangled your fingers into his soft hair while you held his face with your other hand and caressed his cheek with your thumb softly. Minho’s heavy breaths mixed with yours as he squeezed your waist a little before he spoke up very quietly despite the loud explosion behind you.

“I’ve missed you so much… I regret letting you slip away due to my ego. But I will never regret loving you from the day we met.” He paused as you stared into his eyes lovingly and you could tell that he was nothing but genuine.

“Y/N… I love you… I will always love you.” Minho whispered against your lips and that was all it takes for you to break into tears. You couldn’t help but bury your face in his shoulder, feeling him hug you tighter while caressing your back. He let you cry into his shoulder, never once letting you go or loosening his hold around you. Eventually, he guided you towards the car until he could sit on the hood with you in between his legs.

Once you’ve calmed down, you pull away from him to wipe your tears on the sleeves of your hoodie. Minho laughed at you but he too helped with wiping your tears away using his thumbs. When you’ve stopped crying, he holds your face in both hands and gently tilts them up to meet his eyes. As soon as you finally locked eyes with him, Minho gave you the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen before he kissed you once more.

You melted against him, resting your hands on the nape of his neck as he pulled back to gently say, “I mean what I said just now.”

Minho isn’t the kind to easily convey his feelings let alone show it to anyone. So for him to confess to you right now is a big step he took and he wasn’t going to regret it no matter what your answer is. You wanted him to know how you feel so by pulling him in for another longing kiss, Minho smiled knowing your answer was already pretty obvious.

“I love you too, Minho.” You whispered against his lips, earning a chuckle from him.

“Good because I would dig myself a hole if you didn’t.” He joked, making you giggle. That night, you stayed out with him for a few hours before he sent you home. You ended up cuddling in the back seat of his car, talking about anything and everything you could think of. You came back home feeling so happy and full. Who knew this day would come. You’re just glad you never fully gave up on him.

[clxja16]

Enough

Part IV

Charles Leclerc X Wolff!Reader

Genre: Toto Wolff's Daughter Au!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating

Word Count: 3.5K+

Author's Note: AHHHHH I think I'm done. well idk, if you guys want more, I could probably write one more. However I don't think anything will top the scene after Charles DNF in the Netherlands. I could literally talk about that scene for hours on end. I need to know what you guys think of that scene, because it's probably some of my best work ever. I hope you guys enjoy though. A lot of time and dedication went into this fic. Also this is in no way a reflection of these people in real life. This is not based on real life events. Nothing in this story is fact. This is a work of fiction, purely for entertainment purposes.

Part I, Part II, Part III

------------------------------------

“I cannot believe you,” Susie says after she hears the front door slam shut from you walking out.  She slightly shakes her head, as she looks to the gods, praying for strength.  The strength to not kill Toto at this moment.  

“Me? You can’t believe me? I cannot believe our daughter, does she even think about how the rushed marriage will look to the public?”  

“Toto,” Susie sighs, “you’ve gone too far.”  She doesn’t know how she can get him to understand that you’re not a little girl anymore.  “She’s chosen Charles, and you have to accept that already.” 

“But she could do so much better…” 

“She doesn’t want better,” Susie raises her voice in disbelief.  “Toto, she doesn’t want anyone else, she wants Charles.  That’s it, that’s the end of the discussion.”  Susie doesn’t know what more to say on the matter.  

“He’s going to hurt her…” 

“Toto, that is enough, just because you had an affair that ended your marriage, does not mean Charles is going to do the same!  Why can’t you see that?”  Susie doesn’t like that she brought up Toto’s affair but it must be said.  “Pack your stuff, you’re leaving for the Netherlands first thing in the morning.”  

“I don’t have to be there for a few more days…” 

“Well, then fucking go to the factory Toto!” Susie can’t handle it anymore, as she stands from the table, “I don’t want to see you, until you apologize to our daughter.  Hopefully before her wedding, so help me God.” 

-

Charles had left, around the same time that you had earlier that night to attend a work dinner.  He returned home after you and when he did, he found you on the bedroom floor surrounded by all the legal paperwork for the wedding.  He could see your eyes were red from crying, and he knew that it wasn’t from happy tears.  You were holding a white out pen and the paperwork to change your name stood out among the bunch.  

“Ma cherie…” 

“Hi,” you greet Charles with a weak tone, you couldn’t even look at him properly. 

“What happened?”  Charles moves the papers out of the way to take a seat next to, pulling your face to look at him.  He can see more tears roll down your cheeks.  

“Daddy asked if I was pregnant…” 

Charles' brows are furrowed together at your statement, “Why would he think that?” 

“Because…” you smile a sarcastic smile, “the only people who get married this fast are people who are knocked up.”  You cry, and laugh at the same time as you recall the evening to Charles.  You take a moment before you pull away from Charles, wiping away your tears.  “I don’t want anything more to do with my father.”  You grab the paper for the name change off the floor, and prepare the white out pen.  

Charles places his hand on yours stopping you from continuing, “maybe you should wait.”  Charles’ watches you carefully, he doesn’t want to say the wrong word, “just sleep on it for now.” 

You look up at Charles, and you can see his worry for you.  He doesn’t want you to make any decisions that you will regret later on.  You stare back at the name you have written across the paper, Wolff-Leclerc.  

-

The next morning you and Charles set out to drive to the Netherlands.  The drive surprisingly doesn’t take as long as you anticipate, time travels fast with Charles.  However when you do arrive at the hotel, you realize how much the drive took out of you.  The two of you pass out, practically right away, and you don’t wake up until the next morning.  By that time, you guys have to be at the paddock.  

You make it a point to showcase that you and Charles are together.  You arrive at the paddock with Charles, dressed in Ferrari red.  Part of you does this to spite your father, the other part of you does this because you want Charles to know you pick him over everything else.  While Charles is in the driver’s briefing with the FIA, you make a stop at the Mercedes motorhome.  

The motorhome is mostly empty, the majority of the team being in the garage at this moment.  However you knew your father would be in his office right now.  He scheduled all his online meetings with the factory at this time, because the motorhome was quiet.  When you make it to his door, you don’t hesitate to knock.  

“Come in,” he says, right away.  You walk in and hand him the letter in your hand.  You don’t say a word to him, you’re trying to make this as clean cut as possible.  He takes the letter from you, “what is this?” He asks as he begins to open it up. 

“My resignation letter, effective immediately.” 

“You’re resigning, what are you planning on doing with your life?” 

“I’m going to let Charles take care of me,” you lied to your father.  You tell him this, purely out of spite.  He always raised you to be able to take care of yourself.  His biggest thing was he never wanted you to rely on someone else.  So you tell him this, just so he can suffer.  You don’t stay to see his reaction, or hear anything more he has to say.  You eventually go on to spend the rest of the weekend avoiding him.  

-

You spend Sunday watching the race in the Ferrari garage.  The beginning of the race was chaotic to say the least.  You knew Charles was making his own calls, when the pit crew is yelling at each other, and no one seems to know what is going on.  You see Fred look at you, like you have an idea of what’s going on.  You’re too amazed that Fred can see this far back into the Ferrari garage, to even give a reaction to his stare.  

As you continue to watch the race, you know Mercedes messed up the strategy.  Especially when George had a good qualifying.  Then you noticed that Charles couldn’t keep up with the Haas, and you concluded that there must be a problem with his car.  When Ferrari does decide to retire him, you see him come out of his car.  You can tell by the look on his face that he’s not happy in the slightest.  He ignores you as he makes his weigh-in and goes straight to the media pen.  You look at Andrea, and you see him shake his head. 

You head to Charles' driver's room, knowing he would go straight there after the media pen.  It doesn’t take much longer, as you hear Charles’ heavy footsteps.  When he enters the room, he doesn’t say anything.  He shuts the door, and takes a deep breath.  Then he launches the water bottle he was holding across the room, the cap comes loose as it hits the wall, water splattering everywhere. 

He takes another deep breath, before saying, “sorry.”  Charles runs his hands over his face, he paces the room as he talks, “I know I fucked up the pit-stop, I didn’t give them enough time to grab the tires, before I came in.”  He doesn’t look at you as he talks, “that was my fault, I know that, but for fuck’s sake, they left me out there to get overtaken by Hulkenburg in a fucking Haas.”  Charles sighs, his shoulders drop, he doesn’t look like himself. He takes a heavy breath, now looking at you and he says, “I’m tired y/n.” Charles sits on the floor, instead of on the bench next to you.  He sits by your feet, leaning against your legs, resting his head in your lap.  He reaches up to hold your hand, and he repeats, “I’m tired.”  His head feels heavy in your lap, you place your hand on his head, playing with the ends of his hair, while your other hand continues to hold his. He looks straight on at the wall.  

“Just rest Charles,” you say, you’re not sure how you can comfort him at this moment.  “You can rest now.”

“Can I really?” He asks, as he looks up at you.  You can see how the season has weighed him down.  You slowly nod your head at him, and he closes his eyes.  You know that he doesn’t actually fall asleep, but the two of you stay like that for the rest of the race. You stay right there, in that same position, for Charles, for until he’s ready to move. 

When the race ends, Charles finally moves, he changes out of his race suit. He heard Pierre got promoted to P3, and insisted on staying to see the podium.  You see him put on a smile for his best friend.  You watch them make plans to celebrate Pierre’s podium after Monza, during the weekend they have off.  You watch Charles pretend he isn’t tired for his friend’s sake.  And you feel your love for him grow.   You love that he can be vulnerable with you, and you love that he will always be proud of those he loves accomplishments.  

-

As soon as the Dutch grand prix was over, you and Charles hopped on a flight to Milan.  The Italian grand prix was a home grand prix for Ferrari, so there were events all week long.  Charles’ schedule was packed through and through.  You don’t bother him with the wedding stuff, you allow him to focus on Ferrari this week.  

Susie comes out to Monza, and she helps you plan for the wedding.  Although it’s a small event, she insists on getting you a dress, maybe not your dream dress, but a nice dress nonetheless.  Charles is at the Ferrari Ray-ban event, while you and Susie are going through Milan, looking at several dress shops.  

You are in one particular shop, trying to pull a few dresses to try on, when you look at Susie and say, “thank you coming Mamma.” 

Susie can see as tears line your eyes, she knows that you and your father being at a cross like this hurts you.  “Of course sweetheart, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

“I wish Daddy felt the same,” you say somberly, “has he said anything to you after that night.” 

Susie turns to look back at the dresses, “I-”  She pauses for a second, “I haven’t seen your father since that night.” 

“What do you mean, you haven’t seen daddy since that night?” 

Susie sighs, “I told him that I didn’t want to see him until he apologized to you, so I haven’t see him.”  

You can’t help but let out a cackle of a laugh.  You slap your hand over your mouth, catching yourself, as Susie looks at you wide-eyed.  “I’m sorry,” you say, as you begin to giggle some more, “I’m sorry, but that-”  You can’t contain your laughter at this point.  You know part of you is laughing to stop yourself from crying, but it feels so good to laugh.  And oh do you laugh, “that is too funny, you kicked daddy out of the house?” 

“Well,” Susie can’t help but to laugh at your reaction, “I had to sweetheart.”  She looks at you fondly, pushing your hair behind your ear, and you stop laughing.  “You didn’t deserve that from him,” she says seriously.  

You feel a few tears fall, “thank you Mamma.”  

Susie shakes her head, “now enough talk of your father, let’s focus on you sweetheart.”  She smiles at you, and you nod your head.  You try to push all thoughts of your father from your mind, focusing on the task at hand.  You and Susie spend the rest of the day shopping.  

-

Being in Italy does good for Charles, you can see it clearly on Saturday.  He qualifies in P3, but it makes him happy.  The fans make him happy.  And even though he didn’t really rest, he isn’t tired.  You watch him fondly from the Ferrari garage as he does the post qualifying interviews.  After he wraps up on Saturday, the two of you are walking back to his car to head back to the hotel.  You can feel the bounce in his step, how light he feels. 

“I love you,” you say, as you look at Charles, as the two of you walk. He stops, and looks at you.  His eyes full of love, as he displays a fond smile.  You take all of him in at this moment.  You can’t help yourself from falling deeper in love with him.  You’ll never love someone like you love him.  

“I love you too,” he says.  To anyone else it’s the same ‘I love you’s you said to each other over and over again, but to you, it’s so much more.   

-

It was another Sunday, another Grand Prix, and your second time watching from the Ferrari garage.  Although there is nothing technically different from the Mercedes garage, it all felt different.  Being at Mercedes it felt like a business, it felt like work. Mercedes was cold, it was calm, it was like a normal nine to five workplace.  While being at Ferrari it feels like passion.  You feel the desperation to be great like they once were.  You understand why Charles remains so loyal.  Being there, in the garage it makes you cheer for Ferrari.  You see them trying, you feel their need to win, and you want them to be great.  It only took two races, but you’re definitely a Ferrari fan.  

As you watched the race, you felt yourself constantly holding your breath.  Carlos was brilliant defending against Max, Checo and even Charles.  He drove to the absolute limit and you were amazed that he held onto the lead for as long as he did.  Charles drove the wheels off his car.  Going for ridiculous moves, and pushing it to the absolute limit every chance he got.  Although you must say, you felt like you were going to have a heart attack watching the last five laps.  Yet, when you saw the smile on Charles’ face after  the race, you think your almost heart attack was worth it.  

Watching them race makes you miss it even more.  Watching them push the car to the limit, to the extreme and hold it all together to bring it home, makes you itch to have that feeling under you.  When Charles makes his way back into the garage, after all of his requirements, he doesn’t waste any time in finding you.  He pulls and holds you close.  You let him, sweaty and all.  You can’t help but to just smile stupidly at him.  Seeing him this happy, makes you happy.  

“I know,” he smiles and drops his head bashfully, “I shouldn’t be this happy about P4, but I had fun.”

“I think you should be proud,” you say, making him look at you, “proud that you gave it your all, and you could give it your all.” 

Charles doesn’t need to say another word, as he pulls you in for a kiss.  

Toto was trying to meet Fred to discuss some things, when he sees yours and Charles' interaction within the Ferrari garage.  He witnesses the private moment, away from the crowds, from the cameras, from everyone else.  He sees you being deeply in love with Charles.  Toto has been watching you all weekend long, and last weekend too.  He knows now how much you love Charles.  He sees it now.  Toto can finally see what everyone else saw.  

“Charles,” Fred calls from across the garage, as he beckons for Charles.  You let him go, as he catches up with Fred.  At this time you notice your father standing there watching you.  

“Darling,” Toto calls out to you, as he steps closer.  

“Hi,” you say. 

Toto doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know how to make this better, how to fix this.  He knows he messed this all up.  He knows it’s his fault.  He just doesn’t know where to start, when really there’s only one place to start. “I’m sorry.”  

You’re taken aback by your father’s apology.  You never expected him to actually apologize.  You thought that eventually you’d feel guilty enough to make up with your father.  

“I’m sorry, y/n.”  Toto repeats again, “I should have never suggested you were pregnant and that’s why you guys were getting married.  I know now that you really love this boy, and that he really loves you.”  

You smile, as you feel a few tears line your eyes.  This time you are certain they’re happy tears.  “Thank you daddy,” you say, as you hug your father.  And just like all the times when you were a little girl, your father has made all your problems go away.  

“Now,” Toto starts off, and he pulls back from you, “may I please come to your wedding, if it is still this Tuesday?” 

“I hope you do come,” you say genuinely.  

Just outside of the Ferrari garage, Charles and Fred watch you and Toto.  Fred shakes his head at your father for being so stubborn.  While Charles just smiles fondly, because now he sees you genuinely happy. 

-

After all the festivities, you remembered the news that you had to tell Charles.  Charles had just walked out of the bathroom, freshly out of the shower.  Towel in his hand drying his hair.  He sits on the edge of the bed, while you come up behind him, wrapping your arms around him.  Pressing your cheek against his shoulder blade.  

“I have something to tell you,” you say softly to Charles. 

“What is ma cherie?” Although you don’t see it, you can hear him smiling.  

“I got a call from Zac Brown,” you say.  Charles doesn’t need to hear more as he turns around to look at you excitedly.  “Apparently, someone has been constantly raving about me to his drivers,” you say knowing exactly who has been raving about you to Lando and Oscar.  “And his drivers keep telling him about it.”  You laugh as you see how excited Charles is to hear your news.  “Zac asked if I wouldn’t mind doing some simulator for Mclaren.” 

“Oh this is great news,” Charles says as he pulls you into a kiss.  

“I know it’s not really back to racing…” 

“But it’s a start.” 

“Yeah,” you smile, “It’s a start.” 

“I’m so happy for you,” Charles says, as he kisses you again.  You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him down.  Charles falls against you, planting more kisses over your face. 

“Thank you Charles.” 

Charles pulls away to look at you, “no need to thank me, I love to brag about my fiancée.” 

-

Today was finally the day.  Although it wasn’t a big or traditional wedding, there were certain things that your parents and Charles’ mom insisted you guys do.  Like how it was bad luck to see each other before the actual wedding.  So you were getting ready in your hotel room, while Charles and his brothers all got ready in another room.  

You tried to tell your parents that this wasn’t going to be a big event, that you would make it up to them and plan an actual wedding, however that all fell on deaf ears.  They fussed and doted on you all morning before going to the courthouse.  You look into the vanity mirror and behind you, you can see Susie and Toto.  In between fussing over you, they make up.  Your father apologizes and he makes amends.  Your mamma forgives and she loves continually.  The pieces of your family begin to slide back into place.  

As you make your way to the courthouse, Toto insists on walking you in.  You smile, allowing your father.  You wrap your arm around his, in front of you is Susie and Jack walks in first.  Just behind the door, there stands Charles.  His brothers by his side, all dressed in matching casual suits.  His mother stands just off to the side of them. You don’t know why but the sight has tears falling from your eyes, happy tears.  

“Ma cherie,” Charles exclaims as he sees you crying.  He comes up to you wiping away your tears with a smile, “no more crying already.” 

You giggle, you know a lot of tears have been shed these past few weeks.  “It’s happy tears, I promise.”  

Charles smiles at you.  At this moment, Toto unwraps your arm from his, and gives your hand to Charles.  He takes your hand, and both you and him look at Toto.  You know what this moment signifies, nothing more needs to be said.  

One thing about courthouse weddings, they are very efficient.  The officiant says what he needs to, you and Charles both say your ‘I do’s, kiss, and they announce you married.  “I now present the two of you married, as Mr. and Mrs. Leclerc.”  The officiant looks back down at his paper, “or I should say Mr. Leclerc and Mrs. Wolff-Leclerc.”  Your family and Charles’ family cheers at the announcement.  

-

While you and Charles took pictures down by the lake, your families watched on.  During the picture of you with your parents, did Toto whisper to you, “thank you.”  

“For what daddy?” you question, looking up at your father innocently.   

“For being proud to be a Wolff.” 

“I am your daughter,” you say, as you look back at the camera and smile.

------------------------------------

taglist: @christianpulisic10 @lunnnix @honeybunchiesofoats @catswag22 @lazybot @coffeewhore18 @siovhanroy @peachiicherries @pizzalover57 @livingnotthriving@noodleboyluke@mirrorball-6@elijahslover @luciaexcorvus@styles-sunflower @nosebeers @topguncultleader @janeholt3 @perfectmilkshakeruins @coffeewhore18 @ivegotparticulartaste

[niconebula]

I’m currently writing a college essay on the representation of Witches (and all Magical Girls) in Madoka Magica; I don’t know if I will be able to include this within the limits of the project so I wanted to share to Tumblr instead. It does not seem to be widely understood how much yonic imagery there is in the series and how important that is to the intended message.

For starters Kyubey is a walking uterus. The name of his species is literally Incubator (an enclosed apparatus providing a controlled environment for the care and protection of premature or unusually small babies; an apparatus used to hatch eggs or grow microorganisms under controlled conditions). He creates egg-shaped Soul Gems, and deposits the Grief Seeds back into his little receptacle. Why does he have such a weird design with two sets of ears? The lower ‘ears’ with the separated ends are actually modelled off of what Fallopian Tubes look like.

(Funny diagram but. It’s true! I’ll come back to this point at the end).

So then take this scene (thank god someone reuploaded it to YouTube):

“And you think a shit-for-brains hoe is going to be making that much in ten years? That body ain’t gonna last forever, you know.” “And then you dump ‘em, and they get all whiny!”

These two men are talking about the short term relationships they have with women, using them for their bodies and treating them like shit, and then dumping them immediately after - not understanding or caring as to how this upsets them.

It consistently baffles me how many people will completely throw out feminist readings of Madoka Magica. ‘Readings’ shouldn’t even be used - this is the main text of the goddamn show! You are free to argue that it failed at its message, or that the application was problematic, but for this scene in particular to fly over your head makes me discount opinions immediately.

Anyway, where have we heard this rhetoric before? “That body ain’t gonna last forever” - a young Magical Girl is always destined to turn into the Wicked Witch. “When you dump em’, they get all whiny!” - it is a Magical Girl at the peak of her despair who turns into a Witch, and Kyubey cannot and does not care for their human emotion.

The men cycle through their ‘hoes’ like Kyubey cycles through Magical Girls to get whatever his species supposedly needs to continue the universe.

I’m going to cut a break here for TW discussions of metaphorical rape and pregnancy involving minors, but this portion of the post is important.

Kyubey completely violates the concept of informed consent when he creates his magical girls - though he always argues that he did ask, and it’s in fact their fault (as fourteen year old girls) to not ask further questions.

Taking his form as a uterus alongside the yonic imagery of the show, it is implied that Kyubey has in some way ‘raped’ the girls. This is most evident in Sayaka’s arc; her insistence that becoming a Magical Girl has made her spoiled and that Kyousuke wouldn’t want to even kiss a girl like her.

Their transformations into witches further the idea that they have been ‘spoiled’, but also symbolize their transformation into adult women. Women who are ‘too adult’, and whose bodies are no longer attractive or useful to create babies anymore.

Goddess Madoka is even depicted as pregnant in the full Magia ending.

I feel like you could reason within all this symbolism that there’s a metaphor for specifically the coerced pregnancy and mothership of women. Something often considered the ‘ideal state’ for women and as you will see many conservatives argue, the necessary thing to continue society. In their minds, the subjugation of anyone they assign as women to these roles is necessary for society as they know it to continue for the imaginary people of the future who do not even exist yet.

Kyubey refers to the Magical Girls as cattle. He is there to help incubate and hatch the witch, and then throw the magical girl to the dust afterwards as she dies no longer useful. These girls are sacrifices to a far-off future that Kyubey promises them, he tells them that if no Magical Girls existed to hatch into Witches, humanity would not last long enough to see itself to the stars.

The incubator and his design, the soul gems and grief seeds, the pregnant madoka, the discussions about men liking their eggs a particular way by their homeroom teacher, it’s all very consistent. I’m not sure if my prospective readers have ever considered this within Madoka Magica - but try seeing it from this angle.

I didn’t find a way to work this into the post, but in addition: take the ancient myth of the wandering womb. This was the belief that so called over-emotional women were suffering from a condition where their uterus was moving in ways all across their bodies. It morphed into the more modern usage of female hysteria; hysteria coming from hystera- the Greek word for uterus. Kyubey thinks of the girls as constantly overreacting and overemotional. Hysterical.

[blueberryismilk18]

can you please do hcs about Brad? (bistro huddy)

Hi!!! Thanks for being my first ever ask, don’t be afraid to ask for more, I wasn’t sure what kinda you wanted so I kinda assumed! I love this sassy man, tho I’m more of a Joey fan myself sorry it’s not that good again first time, I really hope you enjoy :3

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺𝓑𝓻𝓪𝓭༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Platonic:

Coworker:

🍨 Brad has to get feels someone's vibe before fully introducing himself, to which he thought you were chill and he liked that

🍨 From now on you guys are besties even outside of work you guys hang out

🍨 You guys playfully bicker all the time almost like him and Nichole but you were nicer to him about it (cough cough not changing his name on the system to dickface) 

🍨 please let this man rant about how annoying Terry, Tim, or Nichole is during yalls breaks

🍨 You’re guys friendship is one of the only good things in that horrible place

Customer: 

🍽️ Again like the first thing I said he needs to get to know your vibe, if he likes your energy then he'll tell you his name.

🍽️ In order for you guys to be friends you need to be a regular (Your poor wallet)

🍽️ Amber always makes sure to seat you in his section, one time thought in the very beginning or y'all's friendship Amber had seated you in Nichole’s section, he questions you so much on how you could even be friends with him (in more of teasing and playful way, but still comes off as rude) just to get under his skin

🍽️ Appreciates seeing you, again makes this job a little more bearable

Romantic🌹:

Coworker: 

🍰 Just like the platonic part that could be how you guys first started off. Until he noticed how much happy he felt when you'd be working the same shift and or hours as him.

🍰 Highlight of this sassy man's day

🍰 Nichole of course noticed it first, she would not stop giving him shit for a week. 

🍰 Eventually the kitchen caught wind of this and they would tease both of you when you guys were near each other, confusing you in the process

🍰 Bridgette and Aaron find out from pickles and that's where it all went down hill.. of course Aaron is the one who slips it by accident to you… Infront of Brad

🍰 Brad was pissed but didn't know what to say, he wasn't a baby of course but bro was actually too stunned to speak, Nichole started to laugh ngl

🍰 Let's just say Terry gave you guys a lecture about leaving “personal feelings at home”

🍰 You guys talked about it after work it went great. You guys started dating and you both got shit from Nichole (I love her guys) 

🍰 Now more into the headcanons part, let thisan rant about his day please, he cannot take it anymore he might lose it

🍰 Tim teases the shit out of both of you, while Pam is super sweet and always complementing you guys

🍰 Don't listen to Terry he's just a sad sad hater

🍰 The kitchen guys always tell Brad what a lucky guy he is to be dating someone as beautiful/handsome as you

Customer: 

🍷 Again you gotta be a regular

🍷 Give this man a big tip, your have his heart!/j 

🍷 But fr tho, be nice to the guy he's gotta deal with this red necks and rudeass customers

🍷 Over time he'll just love the company you give him, tells (begs) Amber to seat you always in his section

🍷 He can't help it! He really likes you but doesn't want to admit it first

🍷 You gotta ask that man out, he literally cannot refuse (go somewhere that isn't bistro huddy, he does not want to hear anything from them)

🍷 He's pretty much a very sweet boyfriend

🍷 Tries to spend a lot of time with you and uses some of his sick days to just take you out and stuff

🍷 I hope you enjoy eating most of your meals with stolen Bistro Huddy stuff! What a gentleman! 

🍷 most of his money comes from your tips!/j (just don’t be like Madge and Cybiel, maybe in private…)

[slowdivinqs]

I see as you are

Joel Miller x F!reader ( ~ 18+ MDNI ) 1,7K

…….……………

Summary: Joel refuses to change, that only means suffering for himself. He faces the consequences of choices he doesn’t want to admit he’s making.

Warnings: ANGST. This is literally all angst. No happy endings bc we keep things real. Mention of sex but no actual scenes of intimacy. Joel is MEAN! ( he doesn’t want to be though. ) Very detailed negative thinking patterns. Joel and reader sleep with each other, but there’s no real definition of what they are. Just generally a depressing vibe. Joel and reader smoke cigs. no use of y/n

A/N: First ever x reader fic and I’ve decided to come out with emo nonsense lol. I was listening to a song when I thought of this. link is below if you want to listen.

“It’s not good, It will never become good no matter how long you wait.” The words tumble, shaky in their exit, like a secret stolen out of a chest. It’s the truth, in its simplest and barest form. Lying out flat on the splintered railing of his back porch, the blood and the rot of it seeping into the wood.. “This is all I can give you.”

He looks over to you like your mind would’ve changed, like you’d have suddenly understood that he’s a monster. That he is exactly who he is. That you see the blood and the rot of it, too. That he himself is virulent, and cannot provide what you deserve. He finds no such thing in your eyes, or anywhere on your face for that matter. No trace of horror from the truth. No stains to be found. You look as though you’re not surprised in the slightest, blinking slowly. You look as though he’s just told you the sky is blue. 

The truth of himself has only ever brought him and those around him pain. It irks him that you don’t seem to fit that standard and fills him with the need to shake you like a rattle by your shoulders until it finally seeps through your skull so you will understand. 

 He frowns at you instead.

“I don’t want it to be good, I just want it to be.” 

Silly, silly girl he thinks. He is certain you do not know what you are asking for, as you don’t deserve it, and neither does he. His frown hardens as you look back out at the garden. The grass is dead and mushy with the rain constantly drowning it, puddles of muddy water with floating, brown grass stands. Dead trees lined up against the fence like a wall. You exhale your smoke. His eyes bore into your side profile, drinking up every minute tick of muscle, every inhale and exhale, every movement of your eyes, and the motion of your hair. He sometimes feels as though he should not even be looking at you. That he does not deserve to take in all of these details, does not deserve to think about you. You’re worth more and deserve more than to be trapped in his thoughts. He doesn’t want you there, anyway. He really really doesn’t.

He’s just so tired. Resigned to the loneliness that surrounds his shoulders. The surface-level happiness that comes when he’s on patrol with Tommy, Accepting the time he gets to spend with Ellie with a smile, even though he wants to scream and cry to have her back. 

So, he knows he should force you away. For your own sake and his, but he never says anything to stop you when your molten cunt wraps around him so tightly like an all-encompassing embrace. 

“No.” He says it simply, and that makes you laugh slightly before you turn to him. “No?” You repeat in question, blowing the smoke out of the corner of your mouth, the taste sticking to your tongue, the scent clinging to the both of you like dew. 

“I can’t watch what I’ll do to you if you give me that.”

“You’re not a bad man, Joel-”

“Quit,” he begs. That’s what it is really. Stop being something he’s never had. Stop fighting for him - he can’t take it. Always the wet dog left outside. Always greeted with a sigh, his name an exasperated breath for most. He doesn’t want to fucking think about it anymore, he doesn’t want to look inwards. It hurts. He’s tired of the choking pressure in his throat every time he finds himself in his own company. No one by his side but his greatest enemy. He’s tired of being left outside, of having to witness the people he’s most loyal to enjoying dinner in a warm home with laughter while he sits in the downpour, staring through the window with not a glance his way. Goddamnit, Ellie brought Cat to dinner at Tommy’s house to ‘introduce her to the family’ - Joel didn’t  find out until he accidentally overheard Cat asking Maria for her baked potato recipe, and he still finds himself crying about that every night he hasn’t drunken himself to sleep. He’s wryly impressed that he hasn’t run out of tears. He’s so defeated. His shoulders weigh a thousand pounds. His face is almost constantly crumpled in an uncontrollable display of sorrow. 

“I’m not quitting you, Joel.” Insesant, annoying little girl. Stop makin’ this difficult and throwin’ a tantrum. you slowly climb into his arms after leaving the burning cigarette in the ashtray, wrapping your arms around his neck slowly, like he might spook - he probably would. He can’t look at you, not yet. He swallows thickly around the lump in his throat as you lean forward and rest your chin on his shoulder. Hugging him despite him not being able to hug you back. “I only want what you’re willing to give me.” 

And you both know it sounds a little too much like love. He’s torn between the churning of his stomach and the temptation of your arms - of comfort that he knows will make him burst into tears and let everything out once he allows it. He’s not ready to face that. 

Bristling at the mere thought and caving inwards in shame at the fact that the sharpness of his fear stabs you.

“Please don’t do this, sweetheart..” Because good god, you must have some sense of self-preservation, don’t you? He’s going to bleed you dry, he’s going to drown you in his sorrow and tears, he’s going to snuff out the last bits of shining light in your eyes you’ve managed to keep all these years.

Because that’s what he always does, doesn’t he? He ruined his relationship with Ellie with his selfishness, ruined the girl herself with his actions. He burst into tears when he accidentally caught a glimpse of what she wrote about herself in her journal. How she’s completely lost any light that used to live in her bright eyes. Curious eyes that saved him with their warmth and her golden laughter. Her stupid puns that she doesn’t even laugh at anymore. 

He ruined his relationship with his little brother with his violence, his hatred. He remembers the little 7-year-old who thought his older brother was the best thing in the entire world. Who would cry whenever Joel left the house to hang out with his friends, Who would follow him around just to be by his big brother’s side, running through the long grass of Texas fields, playing cowboys and Indians with missing front teeth and scraped knees. Who now can’t even look at him without that look of sympathetic sadness. That look of disappointed acceptance. ‘I know you can’t help who you are, what a shame.’

“It hurts me to see you like this.” and that makes him want to thrash. Why do you care? Why are you grounding him? Why is he taking up space in your mind and being acknowledged? Your awareness of his pain only makes it real.

A ghost doesn’t become real until two people have seen it, not really anyway. The fact that the little girl who he views as his own, hates him. The fact that he’s become a touchy subject - a disappointment - to his younger brother. That’s all real. 

Because you see it too. 

 He feels as though he can’t breathe. If no one cared for him, everyone shut him outside to sleep in the rain, he could find acceptance in that. He could learn to curl himself into a ball and wait for someone to finally step outside so he can follow them until they leave him in the cold again, learn to deal with the nauseating chill. But here you are inviting him into your home, leaving the light on for him and waiting at your open door. Peakin with those bright little eyes and pensive expression. Inviting a dirty, wet dog into your clean, warm home.

“Then don’t look at me.” He knows he’s being petulant now. Knows that your frustration is mounting, and he feels quite happy about it. Yes, be angry with me - and leave me to sit in the rain. But your fingers are gripping the canvas fabric over his shoulders, no longer mourning. No longer soft.

“Why do you keep choosing to suffer?” It comes out as an accusation, and he guesses it is. It’s easier when it’s sharp like this. Mean and aggressive and fiery. It’s better than the putty-like feeling of hollow sadness that sits in his stomach when you try to coax him gently. Try to get him to choose happiness for himself. 

“I’m not choosin’ anything.”

“Don’t talk shit to me.” He almost wants to laugh at that, “You’re choosing to stay exactly where you are. You’re choosing defeat, Joel!” 

“And what the hell makes you think you’re some damn messiah?! That youre goin’ t’make me so damn over joyed?! You can’t give me anythin’ I want!” And oh, he’s so mean. So childish. He knows full well you could save him if he let you. Knows he’d feel so much better if he eventually mosied over to your open door, leaving that window of everything he yearns for behind, you’d give him a warm bath - turn him from some stinky outside dog into something that shows signs of being loved.

You get up off of his lap, standing still and facing away from him. Guilt immediately gnaws at his chest. His jaw tenses like that’ll chase the feeling away.

“It’s not about me, Joel,” you whisper, and he can tell you’re trying to fight off tears so he doesn’t feel bad. 

God, his bottom lip quivers. 

He hasn’t hated a single thing more than he hates himself.

“It never has been.” 

You grab the slightly bent box of cigarettes, stuffed into your pocket with your lighter. You take two steps away before he speaks, staring at the splintered wood of his porch. 

“Please don’t go,” he whispers, and your boots stop padding against the floor.

“You can’t even look at me, Joel.” You say simply, resignation in your voice now. White flag waving.

He doesn’t watch you walk away, he can’t.

a/n : tysm for reading! hope you enjoyed. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

[white-sinner]

seven brothers and their boyfriends

first born Lucifer morning star and neko male reader

Smut

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️let's say that your relationship was very unexpected even Diavolo was surprised by it let's say…. you are totally opposites! but do opposites attract?

Lucifer is a very serious man and you are a very sweet neko boy who like make jokes but also very intelligent so I think the relationship between you two could work

your story starts with you just arrived as an exchange student from fairytale kingdom or rather NRC sorry i just started Twisted wonderland and i am loving it Lucifer at that time was neutral with you being that he was assigned as your protector but over time that feeling evolved and you eventually got together

it wasn't very difficult for you to get along with him being that however your Housewarden didn't have a very different character since you were in Heartslabyul for Lucifer he loved you with all his being even if he didn't show it in front of others because of his sin of pride but behind closed doors well he cuddles you he loves it of course there are times when you get on each other's nerves for example when he stays up at night because of paperwork so you sneak in thanks to your feline skills and throw him a spell then drag him to his room and you go complete his paperwork on the day

everyone at the RAD knew it was better not to joke about you already you with your spells were strong but nobody wanted to clash with Lucifer in other words it was literally touch my boyfriend and I will make you spit out your organs

and when you two fight well and that's when the other brothers run away lucifer always wants to be right and will never admit he was wrong but you on the other side are just as good you are always ready to fight but when the fights go too far and Lucifer makes you cry send your condolences just like cats you are touchy so Lucifer will have to work hard to make it up to you

the fact that you are always sleepy and love to play pranks are good splits to punish you~ now it can go two ways

SUB READER

this man is a fucking sadist. he will push you onto his bed tying you hands and feet so you cannot move and he will start pulling on your tail and ears just to see you cry this feeds his ego to see you cry under him totally vulnerable if he then has to punish you for some prank of yours well get ready to be spanked when he feels satisfied he will start fucking you so hard that you will feel it inside you for at least four days. among other things he loves giving you hickeys and a way to brand yourself and not bring the others closer and if you try to cover them? Lucifer and the fuck won't even allow you to turn around with a collar on with his name on it so this guy really enjoys punishing his boyfriend

TOP READER

one evening he made the fatal mistake of not wanting to come and cuddle you literally threw her on the desk undressed quickly with his tie tied his hands then you fucked him so hard and fast he couldn't speak anymore i literally reduced his brain to a pulp looks like you'll have to cuddle him afterwards

it seems to me that you two are a very good match have fun~

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.

the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.

the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.

and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.

hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.

and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.

and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.

and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.

and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.

that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.

i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.

if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.

[wakeup-wakeup-if-its-all-you-do]

MHA S7 ED Analysis of the Official Music Video Part 2 [Part 1]

[Warning: manga spoilers]

You were always acting funny to hide your pain

This part is so sad! The boy in blue (Izuku's actor) is curled up and scared while all these hands are reaching for him- probably to represent the pressure of being the ninth/final holder and having to be the one face off against shigaraki + afo. It's a little hard to tell, but I played it back and I'm pretty sure there are exactly eight hands reaching toward him.

I was too dumb to realize it

And then it cuts to the boy in orange picking the green cape from the ground and blinking in confusion before looking back and forth across the field to see where the other boy went 🥺🥺🥺

I'm the one who made you wear that "strongness"

Y'all... I... I... 🥹🥹🥹

So are we all agreed this is about Katsuki bullying Izuku and his guilt for branding him with the name "Deku", later inspiring Izuku's reckless lack of concern for his own well being in order to prove that he isn't "useless" anymore? Cuz literally what else could this be about. It's so sad, there's a flashback to the boy in orange happily tying the green cape around the other boy's neck. The guilt and angst is on another level. Just... just... 😭😭😭

Searching for words to make the buds start to bloom

Y'all 🥹🥹🥹

The warmness you have continuously given me

Just... damn. It must be said again, the angst is on another level. The boy in blue runs away from the scary room he was in with the hands attacking him from what is probably a closet (👀👀👀) and goes back to one of their old hangout places to rebuild the dummy villain the boys destroyed earlier when they were playing. The boy in orange walks in and sees him and the stare at each other in surprise.

It planted seeds in my heart

Oh, Mr. Kacchan Bakugou, everyone but Izuku already knows!!

What's heartbreaking though, is the boy in blue turns around and lifts his arms up defensively over the dummy. Like he's afraid the boy in orange will destroy it. The boy in orange looks surprised but takes a small step closer without hesitation

Those flowers cannot bloom without you

Did I meant the angst hits HARD?!?! Because it's about to hit harder...

No matter what we do, we will never become one

We live each other's lives with different minds

Bakugou thinks that too many misunderstandings and conflicts have happened between them for him and Izuku to ever be close like they were before. He thinks he's hurt him too much in the past and irreparably mangled their relationship.

Nevertheless, my heart is crying with your pain

This reminds me so much of certain events in chapter 403 where a certain someone whose about to unintentionally explode his own heart from a quirk awakening thinks to himself about how the all the pain his body is going through is because he is now walking the same path a certain childhood friend of his had to walk when he was learning how to use OFA

Can I at least be by your side, even if we cannot understand each other

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hoping that flowers will bloom side by side in the future

Ajejdjjdjdjsjjsjdj I feel like this just perfectly captures all of the "Izuku's" Katsuki says in his last moments (and even after resurrecting) and the yearning and how it's finally revealed he held onto the All Might card they won together even get all this time

My flower buds will never give up on the present

Ok there were just too many flashing scenes in this montage and I couldn't get all of them but here's one

Then it goes back to the two boys facing off in the shed and a close up of their faces. The boy in orange reaches out to the boy in blue

And then it cuts back to the band for a second before the video ends.

And now you too, can devolve into madness with me 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[the-white-void]

Things from Afar

~Summary: Part 2 of "Otherworldly Things". But I'm doing Nahida and Ei this time.

A week has passed since Venti and Zhongli had tried to convince you to come to Teyvat, but, you had work and school to catch up on and even if you did go there and get everything you wanted, it felt undeserving.

Another phenomenal accident happened where a bright glowing computer popped out a small child and a grown woman, both being obviously the other released archons, lying on the floor dizzy from the transport process.

"So, more overgrown children under my belt" you sighed in frustration. Venti and Zhongli peeked from the doorway wondering how your mental health might deteriorate more now with Nahida and Ei swimming like clueless fish.

"Peepaw. Cockroach. Help me move these guys to the living room" you turned to the two men behind the corner of the door. Both then started to carry the two lying figures out of the room, Zhongli cradling Nahida in his arms while Venti dragged Ei from her arms out the door "Why do you get to carry Buer, your the brute out of the two of us!" "As the responsible one, it is my responsibility that the children are safe" both exchange words as Venti drags Ei in defeat.

Raiden Ei

When she woke up with you watching The Lorax while waiting for them to gain consciousness, she was about to slam her forehead to the floor in a bowing position before you stopped her.

"Look, I know you're here with the same reason as the other two before you; my answer is NO. I have done my best to get through with this life and get somewhere with it and I'm not gonna let it crumble down because of some crap my old did and you crawling to my feet. Ok"

She was flabbergasted by your words, but then again, they were your words and she cannot disobey.

"Also, tell the operator to find a way to get you guys home. I'm running out of money to feed the other two and now you and Nahida"

Her soul left her body when she heard those words leaving your mouth.

You. Their divine creator. Babying them and sacrificing your own wellbeing for them.

She was on her knees and her head on the floor "Your grace, I apologize for exploiting your time and effort. Please allow me to return the gratitude"

"... Are you willing to get a job?"

She was a bit stunned but still wanted to repay you "Yes. I will get a 'job' to repay your omniscients' grace" her head and I was still on the floor.

And now she's working as a cashier in a nearby convenience store.

Nahida

When she woke up in the middle of your living room on a couch right next to the Raiden shogun, she was a little startled, so she tried to jump off but was seen by Venti staring at her from across the room

"uhmm... Hi?"

"hey"

Was all he said and continued to stare at her.

"Uhm... How is it with their Grace? Are they willing to come back?"

"No, they wanna stay here. And I don't know why"

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"their grace said to keep an eye on you until they get back from grocery shopping"

The silence flooded the room once again, and the awkwardness continues.

Some time later

You come back with Ei to see Nahida and Venti in a staring contest "... Don't wanna ask anymore but whaddya want for dinner?"

Nahida was blank for a moment until Venti mentioned he wanted apple pie.

Nahida scolded him that he shouldn't to you so casually

"Don't worry too much about it. You want anything?" you spoke to her softly.

She was stuttering in between her words with the pressure that she was speaking to the Omniscient Overseer and couldn't find the words.

"It's alright" you knelt down trying to ease her burden "You don't have to be so formal. Right now, I'm [name], not The Omniscient Overseer, alright" You gently held her with the aura of comfort through your words.

"Well. I'll take whatever you like" She smiles at you.

That was the first time someone saw her as a child, not literally, but as someone who has not experienced the world with her own senses.

She's happy with that.

[chevvy-yates]

Sending out kudos to everyone who has shown their love towards Ryder for the past two years.

I love u all very much and every engagement, be it even just a like, means a lot to me.

I've intended to sorta make a cool post of some older vp of him as of today, September 17th, exactly 2 years ago I have created Ryder,— back then as a supposed supportive character for Vijay, very unsure if I would like him as Ry didn't visually turn out as I wanted him to be in the first place and he never went that way either afterwards — yet I find myself writing those lines instead.

I've accepted his look and his imperfection started to grow on me with each picture I took of him. Unlike my other ocs he went his own way leading me along to discover his personality. That's what makes him so different compared to my other blorbos and has me so attached to him.

I did not plan to make him a raver (he was supposed to become an 80s goth punk, a total different style than he's got now) neither that he would end up with a rogue AI controlling him. Only his name, basic info and the toxic family story was planned right from the beginning but that's pretty much it – Ryder showed me the rest of it.

Within the year 2023 I noticed more and more that Ryder has slowly but surly turned out to be my main character.

He turned out to be the most expressive and photogenic one of them all. I don't see him as the prettiest looking either yet he's my most precious and I love every pixel about him.

He's the one thing in my life I am actually truly 100% proud of.

Almost all my ocs exist because of him. They are his support characters. Without him half of them would not even exist. There would be no Thyjs. Even Garnet exists so Ry can live out his passion (that was not really put into the game but exists as lore: Technoise).

I am beyond happy to have created him.

He helps me in a lot of rather personal ways too I do not need to address here.

I got so much to tell about him (also about my other ocs) yet idk if I should continue or not as I find myself stuck with overthinking about it bc of lack of public response literally everywhere (this excludes private chat talks with close friends). Maybe Ryder's too intimidating (not the first time I would read that), his lore gets overlooked easily, or it's to much (confusing) text.

I cannot make anyone force-like him. Tastes are different. Minority is into others oc lore. Less time to read it all. The list is long. I'm aware of it all.

But I cannot underline it enough: do never hesitate to ask me questions about him. He's on my mind 24/7 and my biggest wish is to get this story out and done some day (whenever it will be) and receive some actual feedback on it what was liked.

Just a tiny detail is enough. <3

Another wish I have ever since I joined the CP77 fandom: that people would go back to comment each other more. We all do have little time for it, we all think "oh no so much text to read", we all are in our own bubbles rarley coming out to explore another bubble within this universe. It takes a lot of effort to do. people do seem scared on top to write anything at all for numerous reasons. I have all those problems as well. But I try to sit down and read the one or other lore chunk others wrote down and give a tiny comment as best as I can to make the creator have a smile on their lips. I truly wish we all would do this at least once a week to one person. once a month would be also fine. But if we don't this fandom will be dead soon enough and all thats left is just liking vp with characters on it we know almost nothing about. And maybe even those characters won't have lore anymore bc people stop creating it.