#and I know we technically don't know if anyone's gonna actually die yet

[little-ghost-little-ghost]

A message to these 3 bitches specifically:

Please survive.

[demodraws0606]

My thoughts on the latest episode (aka HU IS THE CULPRIT I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL)

Warning : My sassy attitude is not directed towards anyone else, I'm simply amusing myself and also I've only gotten barely 5 hours of sleep god save me.

This is gonna be very long and messy so strap in folks

It's so obviously not Eden or Ace it's painful (idc 'i'll die for my hubris). Not even just because Eden lying and being the culprit after all of that would be both underwelming and just...miserable. But also because of how the way we're getting the reveal in advance that it could only be Ace and Eden. The fact the cast was already on Eden's throat as well just makes this point even more clear to me.

This isn't like fucking Korekiyo in chapter 3 of DRV3, this isn't how a culprit reveal happens. Especially not when there's so much we don't know yet.

So who is the culprit ?

...

It's Hu, it's literally Hu.... and like 1 pourcent chance it's Nico but I think both of them are accomplices here.

The thing is, I don't buy any of the shit Nico is saying, their admission of guilt is strangely quick and detached. They also seem to go along with anything people say about them (like them framing Hu) which makes it even more suspicious, they could've just said they used Hu's weapon out of conveniance ? The only thing this episode has proved me is that Nico is an Active accomplice rather than a Passive one like I thought. For what reason ? I honestly don't know fully yet but again we don't know a lot about Nico anyways.

Hu's behavior really makes me think she did it and is acting out, mostly out of guilt. She seems really stressed this trial which while makes sense for character reasons, it also makes sense if she's the culprit and feeling guilty. It would explain her defending Eden and Nico mainly I think despite her probably being the culprit she doesn't want the perception that Eden/Nico has to be broken (especially not bc of her). I've already explained how Hu being the culprit makes sense from a character perspective so I'm not gonna get more into it.

By the way any arguments in this post being like "it would be out of character for Nico or Hu to do that" should honestly review their own hypocrisy if they think Eden did it, or even Ace for that matter.

Another thing that makes me even more convinced that it can't be Ace or Eden is that...you can't fucking prove any of them did it with 100 pourcent certainty. David fucking threw the BDA rule out of the window, so we can't be sure Eden didn't do it but like what decisive evidence would make it clear between the two of them.

The only pieces of evidence we have left is :

-The sticky ball of clothes (most likely turpentine because the soil of the relexation room would cause the ball to have stains on it)

-The alibi for the relaxation room water

-The missing glove (which I think i've changed my opinion on what it could mean here)

Eden did know about the ball of clothes (but that piece of fucking evidence has strings attached so we'll get to that) and Ace doesn't have an alibi against taking the water like Eden does.

The missing glove is the only evidence left untouched here and honestly I actually don't think it had anything to do with the glove having someone's hair or anything, mainly because first of all the culprit could've technically just removed any hair on the glove even if it was sticky.

And also there's something else that makes more sense.

I think they probably had to use the glove to avoid rope burn while trying to set up the mechanism to kill Arei. Especially with how high the playground's ceilling is, it wouldn't be child's play. I'm not really good at deciphering what could've possibly happenened directly in the murder but I'd argue it's just more likely that the culprit would be put in a situation were rope burn could happen. This murder set up would require a lot of physical effort, and if the culprit even slipped for a second their hands would end up being damaged from rope burn making them obviously look guilty (also ouchie), which I think is what happened.

It would also explain the scuffs on the floor, maybe the culprit was struggling to hold onto the rope leading to them causing marks with their feet while trying to pull on the rope.

The reason why I think the glove is missing is probably because it's damaged and the culprit wanted to avoid the cast knowing they used Arei's glove during the murder. In fact it's the only piece of evidence that is completely missing

But why ?

Has anyone realised something about, I argue, the three other main suspects here ?

Nico, Eden, Ace ?

They all have gloves.

"But a huge portion of the cast has gloves this doesn't mean anything, it's just a stylistic choice !!" Yeah, the majority of the cast has gloves.

I think now you can understand why the culprit wouldn't want the cast to know that the glove was used. Because if the cast did see the glove that was probably damaged, they would assume the culprit wore it and it would narrow down the suspect list to an extremely narrow pool. This forces them to basically take the glove and hope to fucking god the cast doesn't catch on which they clearly haven't yet.

You know who doesn't fucking wear gloves.

HU JING

My girl got no gloves on !!!!

So yeah, with the glove being untouched evidence yet I think it will be the main decisive thing to point out who the culprit truly is, and I just don't think it's just gonna be like "oh let's just search everyone to see which one has the glove !". For all we know the culprit could've fucking eaten the glove, I don't think we're getting another Min in trying to search shit on people's person.

Anyways I'm gonna transition to other stuff to explain how the Nico and Hu theory makes sense from a logical standpoint here.

Let's get on to the sticky ball of clothes.

First I want to get it out there that I do not think the ball being sticky is due to the soil of the relaxation room. Mono-TV's talk about the "special formula" was mostly to foreshadow the floor of the playground's properties, also the fucking ball would have stains on it.

For me this means the ball of clothes has to have been covered in turpentine especially now that we have confirmation from Ace directly.

This is extremely huge and I'm flabbergasted has no one has mentioned this. Pray tell where the fuck did that piece of cloth go, did it get isekai'd into another world ?

This question actually has multiple meaning here because that fucking ball of clothing actually has massive implications. It confirms a lot of things and also puts a lot of doubt in things that seemed to be confirmed.

Before that I also want to say that Arei 100 pourcent got knocked out with turpentine. I don't want to argue over and over again that it was used because I've done this before but I have to since there are multiple reasons why she had to have been knocked out.

The floor is extremely prone to scuffs, if Arei was struggling then we definitely would've seen more than just a few marks in one area.

The method of murder would have been extremely difficult if she was struggling, like to a ridiculous point. Especially with someone like Arei who has been shown to have been sneaky and very prone to attacking people in their weak spots.

The tape binding Arei's hand in hindsight actually probably wasn't to avoid her struggling, it was most likely due to how the mechanism of the murder work. Keep in mind how the murder had to have worked and imagine if Arei's hands were just loose and flopping around. There could have been possible injuries with her arms that would ruin the culprit's obvious plan to make it look like a suicide. It also just makes sense for weight reasons, again Arei having her arms flopping around would make moving her body even more difficult.

And even if you want disagree with all of that, the culprit could've just binded her tape to avoid the same mistake that happened with Ace with him waking up from the turpentine.

Now that I've made my case about Arei being knocked out, let's get on the actual new arguments I want to make.

First, we know for a fact that a piece of cloth was used to knock out Ace meaning it has to have gone somewhere, if you say "well they could've just thrown it away" I will personally come into your home and shit in your shoes. And you're also wrong because I've already proven that Arei had to have been knocked out.

This means the only piece of cloth available to us would be the sticky ball of clothes.

But...like let me just explain everything that's mind boggling about all of this.

-This ball of clothes had to have been made for Ace's murder to knock him out

-The only people who knew about the old clothes were Hu, Teruko and Whit. Eden only knowing later on, way after Ace's murder was planned probably, because Hu told her about it.

-The culprit used this ball of clothing against both Arei and Ace

-The cloth is suspiciously absent from the murder scene, which makes no sense considering Nico's account rely on them not having left the gym while trying to murder Ace. Them leaving to chuck the cloth aside only to come back to the gym doesn't make sense with the timeline in how we discover things.

Yep, I'm making the claim that Nico didn't actually kill Ace here, I still think it's Hu. Again you can try and complain all you want about how it's out of character for Nico but the reality is...shit is not adding up.

It's really suspicious how silent Hu becomes when her weapon is brought up, immediatly clamming up and not defending Nico anymore. When Teruko makes assumption that Nico lied to Hu to get her weapon, she doesn't reply with a betrayed "Nico is that true ?" or even a sentence she responds with "That's...". The amout of ellpises both Nico and Hu give are extremely suspicious and just make me side eye both of them extremely hard.

I'm gonna go on another tangent here, on the subject of Hu being suspicious. Mainly because I do wanna point out a moment that both makes Eden seem a lot more innocent and makes Hu a lot more guilty.

The subject of Arei potentially committing suicide.

Now, it's very clear that the way Arei was hung was meant to make it look like Arei killed herself, this was very much meant to be the culprit's intention. Both to hide the true murder mechanism and probably to mislead the cast. The fact that it's only an incidental red mark of Arei's wrist that proves she didn't kill herself, proves that the culprit intended for it to look like a suicide.

However guess who argues against this...Eden, which, if she is the culprit I don't see why she would do something like that (and if you say "well why is Hu defending Nico and Eden" I already explained it). Clearly the Eden!Culprit theory relies on her being capable of manipulation so there's no reason why she would be so caught up in her own feelings to just ruin her own plan like that.

You know who seems to really be into the idea of Arei killing herself though, Hu.

That's all I have to say on that, now let's get onto how I think Nico actually helped Hu.

I do think there's still a 50/50 on them working directly together or just Nico catching onto Hu's plans and deciding on their own to help her.

I do think Nico directly helped her though in two major ways

First, the water, it's the obvious one. Nico probably ended up giving the water the Hu here weither they did so with/without knowing Hu's intention doesn't really matter since they're deciding to keep quiet about it now.

I also want to quickly mention how Hu getting water from the relaxation room makes a lot of sense. Hu was busy with Eden in the kitchen and Teruko had taken all the drinks from the gym, so it's likely Hu was forced to take the water from the relaxation room.

Second, the note

Oooo baby let's get into my favorite realisation in watching this episode.

One piece of dialogue has made me realize something

This made me puzzled too, because yeah, who would be listening in and how did Arei not notice when she went into the room ?

Let me take you all back to Chapter 2 Episode 5

Rose and Teruko have a conversation about Rose's secret and that conversation lasts a good while, until...

Nico was actually shown to have been there the entire time, Teruko and Rose were talking without noticing they were there.

Nico then explains themselves like this, pretty much proving this is something they just like doing casually sometimes.

This actually would explain everything on how the eavesdropping happened, Nico was on the literal fucking floor of the infirmary leading to them listening to everyone's conversation. Which tmeans they could have had the information to write the note.

This would explain the inconcistencies as to why would the culprit know to eavesdrop and how they didn't get caught by Arei when she was barging into the room (if they were outside by the door).

Now this leads to two possibilities with Nico and their relation to Hu.

Either they worked together with Hu and they both came up with the murder together. Which means either of them could've written the note.

Or Nico helped Hu without her knowledge, making the note to help her (edit : just realised this doesn't make a lot of sense ignore this).

I believe this is all I have so far and I'm very tired so you won't get a conclusion

Oh wait I hear something in the background...

"WHAT ABOUT THE TAAAAAAAAPE"

First of all, y'all gaslit me into thinking Ace couldn't have taken the tape so I'm already sick of this tape bullshit being used as decisive unshakeable evidence.

You know what I think probably happened ? Ace took the tape, after all it disappeared when he woke up and it's possible that he just then threw it away in the trash.

I mean Ace did say he was gonna "commit a murder of his own", it would be in line with him taking the tape.

Why isn't he talking about it then ? Because he'd be seen as the fucking culprit and also Ace is not really the most honest bitch out need i mention Ace witholding info about David and Arei's conversation.

[cryptidwrestling]

I need to sleep. I am putting way too much thought and upset energy into a scripted sports soap opera 😂😭 Anyway

Some Of Cryptid's Current Thoughts And Feelings™ On The State Of Her RAW Faves

1) Liv Morgan's booking.

Ya'll. I'm a Rhea simp/stan and a person second, anyone who's been on my blog for more than thirty seconds knows this 😂 And I've also made it no secret I, for the most part, am actually still enjoying the Liv v Rhea feud. So all that being said, what the fuck is going on with Liv's booking.

I know she's a heel and part of a heel faction and in-ring bullshit is the name of the game, but the fact that neither of her title defenses have been won clean (granted, she didn't technically win the Bad Blood one anyway but whatever we all know that ending was botched and she was supposed to technically win) and 9/10 times she runs from Rhea when confronted. They're making the Women's Champ look weak.

Liv can be cunning and vicious, we've all seen it; for fuck's one of my favorite theories that I'm willing to die on the hill of is Liv still just using Dominik as a pawn and is gonna drop him the moment she realizes he doesn't fit in with her plans anymore. Book the feral Liv if they're gonna keep this storyline going.

2) Finn v Damian

I mentioned this in a another post but I feel like the reason they weren't pushed as hard is because they didn't want to risk something forshadowing the PunkIntyre feud...And if that's the case, they shouldn't have had Finn turn yet. With this theory in mind, and tbh even if NOT true this would have still worked, the tldr in my head is

-Dom's turn should have been the same

-Have Finn, and the rest of the JD stick around and the rivalries be Dom v Damian and still Rhea v Liv

-Bad Blood rolls around, Dom and Damian have a match, and Finn's turn comes in the form of him and the JD assisting Dom.

-The Finn v Damian feud kicks off the same night Punk v Drew ends

There was NO REASON to have Finn turn and to wait this long to really start doing something with it. I still standby my opinion if done right, this rivalry could still be AMAZING...But it doesn't change the fact it has lost a LOT of momentum going the way it has.

3) Rhea Currently Standing Alone

To a degree, I get it. Her and Damian agreed to do their own thing because he's done with the JD (as far as he thinks.) and they're in different divisons but he would/will always come if Rhea called. I'm not a fan of how fast they split them up as a team-again, wave two of the Terror Twins shirts had barely shipped when this happened-but this segement was okay. It was sweet and mutual.

THAT SAID.

Rhea is currently in a 2v1 (not counting Dom cause I have little hopes of us ever getting a sanctioned match with them cause ✨intergender✨🙄) rivalry. Liv has Raquel...Who the fuck does Rhea have? Tiffy? Maybe, but we can't even say that for certain because as it sits right now, they're on different shows. Show borders are just currently being blurred in, assumingly, prep for Survivor Series.

Why the fuck does Rhea currently have to stand alone.

4) Jhea

THIS KINDA PIGGYBACKS OFF MY LAST PARAGRAPH AND IS THE ONE I REALLY DON'T GET??? Okay, yes, it was probably supposed to be something cute and just for fun to fill time while the other main storylines Rhea and Jey are/were in moved along. But if that was the case, why did ya'll move it to the main stage and not just keep it in backstage segments? Rhea during a preshow interview, I think it was Bad Blood?, said Jey showed her what a real man was like. Not to mention Jey coming to Rhea and Damian's defense or Jey agreeing to tag with Damian cause he "can't say no to Rhea." Why the fuck would you plant seeds like that on screen, on the main stage, and then just??? Drop it??? I don't get it???

5) JEY MOTHERFUCKING USO'S 28 DAY REIGN

I'm gonna make this one short and sweet cause you can literally see all my posts directly below this word vomit and see how mad I am 😅 But, in short; Why. Why not wait until after he's done with the Bloodline to give him a title? Why not have this same set up but give him the title ages ago. Give him a decent title reign with the same ending. Predictable at that point sure, but okay...What is the fucking point of having him, a fan favorite who everyone was cheering the house down the night he won, get his first solo title ever after fourteen years...Only to give it back to Bron less than a month later?

Bron is a GREAT preformer, do not get me wrong but making this...I don't want to say newcomer, but newer star a two time champ in his lesser time with the WWE just doesn't sit right with me.

I know Jey was gonna get involved with the Bloodline story at some point. I know it would have been hard to impossible to book him in a Smackdown story as a RAW champ...They could have done in without stripping his first non-tag title from him in under a month. We could have gotten crashout Jey going after Solo and Co without what we got tonight.

[imraespace]

STREAMERS! ★ ˎˊ˗

..CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15..

The commotion downstairs didn't seem to die down as you and Muichiro made it back in your room. Everything was still the same as it was, including the fort!

"MUICHIRO! In there!" You pushed the boy inside and grabbed an extra blanket before joining him.

You tossed it over the both of you and lay down.

"You're going to sleep?" He asked.

"Not really. Just laying down." You replied.

.

.

.

A bit of time had passed until Muichiro joined you on the floor as his mind wandered to somewhere else.

────────

.

.

"Muichiro." He perked up his head.

It was Yuichiro.

"Is Y/N still not talking to you?" He asked his brother.

"Actually it was me not talking to her.. But no not anymore." He responded back.

.

.

────────

Muichiro's mind had went back to the time where you three technically had a fall out (kinda) and didn't really talk for a day.

But that's not the only thing that kept his mind replaying back to that day.

────────

.

.

"So am I correct?" Yuichiro asked the boy.

They were both now in their room.

Muichiro is on the bottom bunk while Yuichiro is on the top, peeking down at Muichiro.

"Correct about what?"

"Your feelings duh." Yuichiro rolled his eyes.

It caused Muichiro to sigh and roll over to face the wall.

"Feelings about?"

"Stop acting dumb, you already know."

"No."

"Yes.."

"I literally don't know."

Yuichiro muttered under his breath as he rest his head back on his bed.

"I'm talking about Y/N dumbass."

The room then got quiet.

"So?"

"So what.." Muichiro mumbled.

"You like her." Yuichiro replied.

"I'm suppose to, she's my best friend."

Yuichiro laughed a bit at his response.

"You like her more than a best friend."

His brother mumbled yet again

"What if I said I liked her as well?" He brought up.

It got quiet for a while until Yuichiro felt a hard kick on his back from Muichiro.

"You don't, stop saying stuff like that."

It caused Yuichiro to smirk a bit.

"Okay. To put my words simple, better confess to her soon or else someone might get at her first. ..Like me."

Another kick was brought to boy's back.

"I said stop Yuichiro."

A stern Muichiro replied.

.

.

────────

"Muichiro did you go brain dead on me?"

"What." His head turned to face you.

"You started to stare off at the ceiling which is technically normal for you but this one was different." You said. "Are you okay?".

"I am." He answered, facing away.

.

.

"Y/N."

"Yes?"

"I have a question."

"And that is?"

He turned to face you.

"Do you like someone?"

The question caught you off guard.

"Huh?"

"Answer it."

"Um, I don't know..?"

"You don't know if you like someone?"

You looked away with a huff.

"Because it's complicated okay."

.

.

"Do you like someone?" You asked, taking the attention off you.

Muichiro thought about his answer, should he be honest?

"Yes."

The answer shocked you.

"Oh.."

Now it was quiet.

"So.. who is it?" You asked.

"Um.." Muichiro didn't know how to answer this question.

"You don't need to answer." You mumbled.

The mood in the room got a bit gloomy now.

Then Muichiro thought of a way to maybe make you realize who it is, without actually saying it.

"You know the person I like, people always thought we were dating." He mumbled.

"Oh..?" You replied back. Too deep in your own sorrows to understand that he's literally talking about your own fans.

.

.

He notice it's not going anyway so he decided to just be open.

"Y/N.. sit up please." He said as he got up.

Following his words, you did.

"Listen because I'm not going to say it again."

"Okay.."

"Do you like anyone?" He asked again.

...

"I don't know.." You mumbled, staring at your lap.

You took a look at his face to see that it was just blank but deep down he was literally scared out of his mind.

You then felt the need to play with his sleeve, the habit you have whenever he's near you.

"Well.." He started causing you to look up at him.

"While you try to figure out your feelings I had a lot of time to figure out mine and I'm gonna be real with it." He said.

"Okay.." You replied.

"It's you."

You blink.

"Me what?"

"Are you slow? It's been you, I always liked you. Why did you think I said 'people thought we were dating' I was clearly talking about us." He blankly said, throwing a bit of sass in it.

"Oh.. Oohh.." You let out, now understanding the situation, a huge smile found its way onto your face.

I don't think your smile could've gotten any bigger yet it did as you began to forcefully shake Muichiro from his shoulders.

"I ALSO LIKE YOU AS WELL! Like a lot but I was scared to say. I figured out WAYY before." You happily said.

"Really.."

"YEP!"

"I LIKE, LIKE YOU!" You continued shaking the poor boy.

"Okay, I get it."

You stopped shaking him but brought him into a hug, squeezing the life out of him.

He may not show it but he was almost as happy as you are.

"Okay enough you're killing me.."

"No." Was your last words as you shoved your face in his neck.

To your surprise, he returned the hug but with the same force you have on him, resting his chin on your head.

STREAMERS!

TAGLIST: @deezy12299 @s0uldarling @cherryblossomly @boogiemansbitch @delusional-mushroom @ashlovelys @zellons @catsonawesomemats @adrixx (OPEN)

[cherryys]

why do you think yuuji isn't gonna make it? i have a lot of bets put on itafushi both dying or living (for Reasons i'm not gonna be annoying abt rn lol) so i like to hear why others believe otherwise

Oh god okay so

There are ALOT of death flags around yuuji, more than the people that actually died had lol but if i had to compose a list:

1. In Chapter 1, these are Yuuji's grandfather's dying words to him:

And i feel this statement of "when it's your time to go, make sure you're surrounded by others." Is going to play a big part in the ending, especially paired with the "save anyone you can, even if it's just one person" this translation doesn't say those exact words but the anime did so im gonna roll with it lol (if anyone knows what the og japanese version said please let me know!!!)

I think Yuuji is going to die by saving Megumi, surrounded by him (and others like Yuuta and Todo but im more focusing on Megumi because he is the start and the end of Yuuji's entire life purpose and ideals) and that would fulfill his grandfather's dying words of "save whoever you can, even if it's just one person. don't end up like me, [alone]. Die surrounded by loved ones" and i think that would truly be the best ending Yuuji would get after that, better than any hollow victory of killing sukuna but still outliving everyone else, alone. He had suffered enough in those few months, i think it would be cruel of Gege if he lets him outlive everyone else and still keep going with how much he's lost and witnessed.

This falls in line with the purpose he set for himself in Chapter 2:

He had already accepted that his life ends with Sukuna. That moment is when, for him, Itadori Yuuji ceased to exist and instead, Sukuna's Vessel. (Though the people around him try to convince him otherwise). Him doing those two things (Killing Sukuna and Saving People) as what his character's purpose in the story is, not living to see his 16th birthday (as despressing as that may be 💔)

2. In Chapter 203, Kenjaku says this:

This sort of ties into my earlier point of him and Sukuna's lifespans being interconnected thematically. Kenjaku here specifies Yuuji coexisting with Sukuna. As long as they are both alive, the cycle of curses (and suffering & pain) will never end. Even if Yuuji were to live on, he still has Sukuna's essence burned into him (whether that be because he'd been a vessel for so long or because of his lineage). He cannot get rid of the entirety of Sukuna, all his remains and all his ugliness, without getting rid of the one inside him first. That's why to completely get rid of Sukuna, he has to take himself out too.

Shoko even says this in Chapter 220:

By a narrative standpoint, he technically counts as an extra finger, still housing his Technique and his Evil Dredges, sort of speak. To completely defeat Sukuna, he has to go too.

3. A little fun fact about JJK, it was under threat of being cancelled all the way back since the Cursed Womb Arc. Because of that, Gege rushed to write that arc along with Chapter 9 as its subsequent "end" (though we know now Shonen Jump continued releasing it) and coupled with the fact that Gege said a while ago he already has the end of the story in mind, it's not a stretch to say that the end is going to parallel that Chapter somehow, with Yuuji sacrificing himself to save Megumi and them sharing a quiet moment (under the rain, or snow since its Dec 24 lol) where Megumi tells him again that he had never once regretted saving him, even after all the turmoil and pain it caused Megumi.

I think that would also be a nice send-off for Yuuji, the last face he sees is the one person he actually succeeded in saving and the one that saved him back, telling him that despite all the guilt he felt, all the pain he made himself responsible for (despite it not being his fault), he—who had a moral code so strict that he'd never save anyone that would kill someone in the future, yet saved him anyways, and stuck by his side after all that happened in Shibuya and told him to share the burden, the one person who never left him alone—never once regretted saving him, that the good Megumi knows is in Yuuji was worth it. And that despite the pain Megumi went through (and the pain Yuuji feels responsible for) he doesn't blame him nor regret that choice. And that he'd do it again even knowing everything.

I could go more into the other side of this argument of why Megumi being the one to die wouldn't make sense but i'd be rambling on for too long lmao i tend to go on restlessly 😞 im just really passionate about jjk and its themes

[tae-rambles]

OP ch 1124 SPOILERS

my reaction as i read:

first, disclaimer, i was spoiled that Kizaru cries this chapter and it's apparently very sad. honestly, unless it's revealed that Vegapunk told him he had a plan to die sometime during those two weeks before the incident, i don't think i'll feel much sympathy for Kizaru, but we'll see... i also wonder if that's what the title is referring to - the relationship between Kizaru and Vegapunk

the cover story is taking an interesting turn... will Yamato pursue the criminal? will he befriend the woman? maybe Yamato will gain a harem of female lovers like Oden? that would be fun

Morgans' reaction is v unsurprising; Vivi is a badass like always and the two sapphics in the background are still cute :D but sorry girls, Vivi's already taken (NamiVivi for life)

i mean... Wapol is kinda right but shut up

Vivi i love youuuu!!!!!! anyone who hates you is a red flag honestly

of course Morgans would pin it on Luffy - no surprises there

yay! Sentomaru got away! :D it seems like Kizaru let him? where will he go, i wonder... the closest safe place that we know of is Elbaf or one of the next islands the log pose points to? the net cover story will focus on him?

also impressive he didn't pass out from the haki blast! maybe it somehow knew Sentomaru was an ally? can a haki blast do that? i mean... it's a manifestation of it's user's will... but whose will? it was Joyboy's haki but Emet was the one to unleash it so which one of them decided whom to spare? however, Joyboy's dead so it must have been Emet who controlled it but is it possible to control another person's haki aka will? one can use observation haki to sense intent and emotion. could Joyboy implement that into the haki bomb to make sure it doesn't hurt friendly forces? i have so many thoughts...

hehe Akainu will not be happy

yep, the title refers to Kizaru and Vegapunk...

Vegapunk went straight to the point, huh? lol

wow, he shut Akainu up lol

but honestly, Kizaru did this to himself. he's strong enough to rebel but it's more comfortable to stay a cog in the machine... he chose comfort over his "best friend" - you can actually compare him to Vivi this chapter - it would be safer for her to stay silent yet she raises her voice against injustice while Kizaru is here crying and pitying himself while being physically completely safe. i understand it's hard for him and that if it wasn't Kizaru, it would be somebody else. but maybe if he had rebelled and used his strength to protect Vegapunk, there would be no "somebody else"... so what i'm saying is: he definitely did not "have to kill his best friend"

Luffy must be taking this hard... especially since he befriended Atlas... i feel so sad for him

Franky's right... but Zoro, c'mon... i know you're trying to play up the tough guy act to stay alert to keep everybody safe and expect the same from your captain but give him a breather

Lilith... :(

that's a good question, from whom did she hear about it? is maybe Edison still alive? maybe he just disconnected from the Punk Records to make it look like he's dead? i mean... i wouldn't be surprised, this is One Piece after all...

HUH??? ok, i have my theory about how the Vegapunks can still be technically alive - Punk Records is still functioning after all and the question of what it means for Vegapunk to die did come up a couple of times so it's not too out of left field but i'm gonna keep reading for now...

ah... so we're not getting the full explanation now... dammit

but now we can have the mandatory banquet at the end of the arc :D (i have a post that's a response to an ask in the works - that's already taking way too long sorry - that's gonna touch on this more so i'm not gonna dwell on it now)

and Robin's also feeling better :D

kampai! :D

"the fabled country of Elbaf" haha i see what you did there

and another mysterious silhouette to close the chapter...

it was a good chapter :D nothing groundbreaking but that's what's needed after all that craziness lol though i was hoping to see what's up w Stussy but oh well...

Egghead was the first arc a read weekly and it was a wonderful experience so i'm hyped to see what Elbaf will bring :D i already posted my thoughts and predictions here

[vampiromano]

okay uhhhh all my thoughts are scrambled so this is just kind of midnless yapping. about. stuff

1. okay so the king is. yeah idk why I trusted him when I should've logically understood that the guy has absolutely no idea about the previous convos we had. it does make me wonder whether I could've changed his mind by asking EVERYTHING and gifting him th flower all over again but. I doubt it. why would he change if this is all he has y'know. and if his literal god sorta told him he was doing what he had to.i dunno he's very interesting and I'm actually looking forward to the next fight

2. also looking forward to my next chat with loop. gotta wonder what they'll have to say about the guy who was so desperate to be understood thry Wished to get another self to talk to. I'm not sure it's gonna be the chat that gets me to The Reveal Of Loop's Identity as Siffrin2 or whatever BUT it's certainly heading that way if it isn't.

or maybe not! they're fun like that.

3. colours!!!!!!!!! nothing more to add just Colours.

ACTUALLY definitely something to add. did the same thing that happen to colours happen to the island????? is that it???????? will it be explained????? i really doubt it'll be explained. alas.

4. How Does Loop Feel About Their Home Country No Longer Existing. do they feel like Siffrin? or are they avoiding it the way Siffrin was for a while? are they detached bc now it's technically not theirs (assuming they're Alternate Siffrin and not Future Siffrin, bc I don't think Future Siffrin would make that much sense? okay maybe. some sense but. idkkkkk)? LOOP I NEED TO LOOK INSIDE YOUR BRAIN

5. Isabeau is soooo perceptive I luv him. my aversion to the crush has gotten slightly better the more Siffrin is reciprocating it and the less I'm thinking of Siffrin as Guy I'm Playing As (the more I think of them as A Character and not An Avatar, is what I mean). so I'm growing to appreciate him a lot more he's my fave guy. truly so cool. I get him. if nobody got me I know my man isabeau got me. he's my best friwnd.

6. fuck okay where was i. anyway everyone's reacting differently the more time passes and I think it's bc Siffrin is having such an astronomically bad fucking time it's transcending time. i feel like if I were in a room with them I'd just DIE I'd just say fuck this stupid baka life and drop to the ground and never move again from how rancid their vibes are. Siffrin is having the worst time anyone's ever had and I feel so sorry for him I hope I can at the very least lead him well enough he'll TALK to ANYONE(other than loop) about ANYTHING or else.

(I feel like talking to Loop is not very helpful bc Loop is just THEM but WORSE. like they already had their worst life. I don't think much good can come from talking to the version of yourself that DEFINITELY had it bad as well and seemingly BECAME A FUCKING STAR about it. idk. I'm rambling. I need to know more about Loop I need to help them also. I hope they get a happy ending with my Bones.)

7. Odile my best friend Odile is ALSO being very perceptive but she's kinda scary about it. either way I hope god do I HOPE she'll be the first to figure the loops out. or SOMETHING. bc I need Siffrin to talk to her about them I need to know what she THINKS.

8. irks me that nobody ever mentions that Siffrin poses for the picture!!! they're literally smiling!!!! every time!!!!! anyone say anything please!!!!!

9. Siffrin cut himself on glass. I was surprised! not sure it's quite self harm yet bc it didn't seem intentional BUT I have a feeling we're heading down that route!!! which is interesting!!!!!! they're certainly very self loathing and quite safe of Proper Death. idk. need to keep playing I guess.

10. Messi❤️

11. anyway yeah that's it I've got a lot of thoughts I hope someone found them mildly amusing at least!!!!

[halfbakedspuds]

Thanks to @oh-no-another-idea for the tag!

OC in Fifteen

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I barely do any of these for the Tempest Prince, so have one for Jason Haliday, the somewhat overprotective, batshit crazy older brother and resident mage of the group.

Also not all of these are narrated from the same POV, and some of these are simply his narration so technically one of his lines, anyway, just bear that in mind.

"Ya'll have been trying so bloody hard to piss me off for five years now. You really want to know what happens when I finally lose my shit? Well I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure myself," I could practically feel the thrum of raw power in my veins, an anthem to the coming storm to accompany the growing smell of distant rain, "Let's find out together, shall we?"

"The world needs heroes, and instead: it got us," Jason said from his corner, "I say the world can deal with it,"

I barely got out of the way before the vaguely Jason shaped blur passed me by, trailing the vague scent of brimstone and the words "Don't follow me!" as he went.

"Hey!" He belted across the way to them, wiping bright red blood from his lips and raising his little wooden blade yet again, "I ain't heard no bell, get your arses back here!"

"The plan?" He echoed. A moment later he simply shrugged, "Shit man, I don't know, just try to ball harder than this Cthulhu looking asshole, I guess,"

Great. Even in death someone needs me for something, fuck's sake.

"Hayibo, s'mos jus' down the street and a sho't left at the robot. You got that, nê?" I shot [Jason] a look to say that only he and I understood any of that. He shot me a grin saying that that was the point.

"I'm prancing around like a little leprechaun, does it fucken look like I'm ready for this?"

"Well," I said, sliding my back down the wall to sit beside her, "For what it's worth, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Hell, I was just having a go at you for being an ass, but if I had any idea about any of this shit..." I shook my head, idly drawing in the dust around me, "God knows, I'm out of my depth on this one. You're right, I don't belong here,"

I probably should've been scared out of my mind. Instead, all I could think was 'Holy shit, I need to ask about this lady's workout routine',"

"It's not like you're the one getting hijacked by the drunken ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, now are ya?"

"You know, mom's gonna kill us if we die,"

"Sorry tjomma, but I just gotta ask you something- you know how it is, I'm neither subspecies: neutral party and all that- so uh... Exactly what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

"Hey, Aten, can you tell your little cadre of gods to shut up for a second? The grown-ups are talking,"

Lord give me patience because I will strangle this boy if you give me strength.

No pressure tag for @honeybewrites @illarian-rambling @thatoneterrariaplayers-vault @orion-lacroix and anyone else who wants in

[totaleclipse573]

Can I dump some lore on yall real quick. Actually a pretty long post if you're interested but its

About Doleon, the Supreme, the Shards of Chaos, etc. Basically the beginning of it all.

Oc Universe lore has been on my mind recently (I may have talked about some of these things before, and if I have, HERES A BETTER EXPLANATION.)

FIRST, THOUGH! LITTLE WARNING BECAUSE THINGS DO GET VIOLENT TOWARDS THE END. NOTHING VERY GRAPHIC DESCRIBED, JUST A MENTION, BUT JUST IN CASE...

Before anything, the personalities and powers of the brothers, just a recap :

Akmad : The over-the-top, plays by the rules and makes sure you will too brother. NO CHAOS (fun) ALLOWED. We have a PURPOSE here and its OUR JOB to make sure we do it right. Doleon, Lorcan, no, you cannot use your energies to race around and go fast. Each "shard connection" grants them an ability to better protect them. Akmad's is light (the power of flashlight-)

Erebus : Cold, serious and secluded. He pretends not to care when he really does. His power is foresight, but its really random, and typically, no one believes him (until it happens)

Orpheus : Silly boy. He's very kind hearted and gentle, despite his ability of overwhelming strength.

Ragnar : ANGY, short tempered, impatient. His ability goes well with him, pyrokinesis. (I imagine he gets angry and just starts flaring at the tips of his quills.)

Lorcan : The goofster, "I ain't gonna listen to no one," living by his own rules (or, trying to. Thanks for that, Akmad.) He can just go really fast 👍

Doleon : Doleon. Electro energy thing.

Kieran : Selective mute (except with Doleon, for some reason,) little baby man, scaredy cat. He doesn't really know his ability yet but he's made some funky purple portals once.

So to start, it all began with the Supreme. The earliest known guardian to all seven Shards of Chaos. But they've (behold, an all powerful enby entity,) been guarding and keeping their power safe from the universe for SO LONG, centuries, perhaps longer? That its negative effects start to take toll. The shards begin to corrupt them, and it takes EVERYTHING THEY'VE GOT not to go in too deep and stay morally good. But the power is killing them, they know they're going to die soon. But the Shards can't just be left unprotected. They need a new guardian. New GUARDIANS. One for each, so the power doesn't become too much to handle.

One by one, Supreme "creates" each guardian (who needs childbirth? JUST LITERALLY CREATE ONE OUT OF PURE ENERGY. They're created using shard energy, and that gives each of them their connection to a specific shard.)

The order goes, from "eldest" to "youngest," Akmad, Erebus, Orpheus, Ragnar, Lorcan, Doleon, and Kieran. They technically don't have ages, nor can age physically. They're adults in the brain.

They were created as small children, raised by the Supreme until they could handle themselves (cough cough a few months cough) HAD THEIR OWN PARENT ERASED FROM THEIR MEMORIES TO PREVENT ATTACHMENT, and then sent into this weird little "world" that only they could enter. It was really to prevent any distractions from their main goal of protecting the Shards (which is a memory they're left with. Call it destiny. They know the Supreme EXISTS, they just don't remember ever being around them.)

They specifically aren't supposed to abuse the power of the Shards. It's always been DANGEROUS AND FORBIDDEN. Akmad especially enforces these rules (he SWEARS he remembers encountering the Supreme once before…he'll be the one to enforce their will.) Of course, though, A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time passes (remember the ageless thing?) and Doleon is kind of sick of it? Always just being told to DO THE THING BECAUSE ITS WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO. Like, what if he's a little curious? All Akmad or anyone will ever tell him is that its their PURPOSE or some crap. He needs MORE THAN THAT. Why CAN'T they use the Shards energy unless its to protect them? He's used it for fun a few times before and come out just fine! Maybe he would…experiment a bit.

So he does and the results are a disaster, obviously. He overloads on the energy, whoops.

Essentially, it takes the connection Doleon has with the energy of his shard, breaks a sort of "barrier" meant to keep him safe from its negative effects, and disguises itself as a good thing. Like look, you let me use you as a host for more power? You get more power. Simple as that. And that's what it is, he's able to use his energy without barriers. In other words, he overloads on it.

So despite how terrible he felt afterwards, when he WAS able to use it it actually felt pretty good? Like he was the most powerful person in EXISTENCE. THERE WAS LITERALLY NOTHING THE ENERGY DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO DO. NO LIMITS! Kind of addicting, really. A little too much so. If ONE shard did all that…what kind of power would ALL SEVEN give him?

So Doleon knows he probably cant get the shards on his own. If the guardians aren't around, the little temple thingies they're secured in have slight defense mechanisms. Still not enough to keep them fully protected without their guardians, which he probably needs to lure away somehow, but still risky. He needs help. Maybe from someone who would do anything for him…? No matter how crazy it would sound to everyone else…?

That's right, I'm roping Kieran into this mess.

"I just wanna try something out! It won't hurt anyone, promise!" Oh Doleon if you knew. It seemed a little odd, but Kieran would try and be as helpful as possible!

Summary of the whole process bc its too long to describe in full : They find ways to get the shards however they can. Sometimes, it was pretty easy (especially with Orpheus…easiest one yet) but other times, it proved difficult. A few times, they even accidentally managed to activate the defense mechanisms (one of these being…particularly traumatizing for Doleon, where the temple might have sort have began to close up on him and if Kieran couldn't find a way to stop it in time, he would be killed through two walls literally colliding against his body and squashing him to death slowly and painfully. How silly. Wonder where he got that claustrophobia from.)

Little by little, the more shards they collect and hide from the other brothers, the more changes Kieran notices in Doleon. It scares him, but he'll keep going. Just…maybe keep a close eye on him. Eventually, they run into Erebus, not really paying much attention to where they're going, and Doleon just crashes into Erebus, much to the older brother's annoyance. But something happens. He sees something. A quick little flash in his mind, but still. One of what looks to be one of his own brothers still stands, he can't really see who, but the others? Nothing but shadowy, blurred corpses on the ground. When his two younger brothers have already left and he's alone again, it snaps him back to reality. Remember when I said he pretends not to care about anything? Well shit, what he just saw looks bad. REALLY bad. Someone must have…broken through, somehow. Hurt all but one. He NEEDED to prevent that. So he goes to his other brothers to tell about what he saw, all while Doleon and Kieran go about getting the last shard remaining. No one could FATHOM one of their own hurting the others…it makes no sense! Ruled out automatically.

But what if I said.

Doleon doesn't even know what he's about to do. Literally, mind disconnected from everything else. Once he decides to do what he planned to try with all seven, the shards are in control now. But it doesn't fully happen until he decides to SNAP. And when is that? During an argument with Akmad over his recent strange behavior where Doleon insists nothing is happening or wrong. The shards take over and whoops! You stabbed your brother with an energy spear straight through the heart! Cool, heres some more energy to do a little more violence to the rest of them.

You have to But you know who he snaps out of it at. Poor little Kieran, who could do nothing but watch all that time…the others all fought, so why didn't he?! Why did HE have to be the coward?! Why did HE have to be the little weakling good for nothing at all?! And to make it all worse, he HELPED cause this. He was SOOOOOOOOOOOO WILLING TO HELP! Did that make the half of it his fault?

He's just so done with Doleon now. He may be blaming himself too but Doleon killed all the rest. He's actually angry. He's never risen his voice before, but look at him now. Neither of the remaining two are themselves anymore.

He just turns away. Doleon knows he's not coming back. That hurts…but the shards tell him it shouldn't. You're all powerful now, aren't you? That's what you wanted from the start! Do something with it! Forget Kieran, forget your brothers! You never needed them anyway!

And he turns away too. Shame, they had the strongest bond out of all seven…

And for the rest of his immortal life, Kieran decides he needs to be better. Just. Never care again. And what does that turn him into, centuries later?

In the oc universe au, Kieran is in the place of :

Black Death :) Now, I'm aware that Doleon and Kieran being brothers...does not make Shadow and Eclipse brothers. But here's the thing about that, idk WHAT they are actually. Bc to that extent they aren't canonically "brothers" either. In canon, Doom created Black Death, and he created Eclipse. Who knows what that makes them. Due to that, I headcanon that "brothers" in the Black Arms is just the general familial term. Therefore, to me, it makes sense. Sooooooo...random lore drop! Hooray!

[mermaidsirennikita]

reincarnation romance??? 👀

mmmmhmm! Exactly what it sounds like, lol. The lovers have been reincarnated--and a lot of the time, I personally think a lot of authors just go "and that's all I need to do!" Many of them don't layer the romance to the degree that they should.

The books that have done it well:

The New Camelot Trilogy by Sierra Simone. Many people do not realize that this is a reincarnation romance, and it technically doesn't spell it out until book 3, but... My guys and girls...... There is a man.... named Merlin...... telling my girl Greer to "save her kisses" or else something REEEEEALLY BAD will happen, and then she ends up in a love triangle with the beloved noble leader man and his angsty, envious best friend/comrade in arms. Among many other things. Idk how anyone is surprised that it's a straight up reincarnation story.

The reason why it works is that like... while I feel there are immediate connections between the leads connected to their past lives, there are also a lot of issues carrying over that they really have to grapple with and grow within. Like, yay, we love each other, but also all those jealousies and resentments and conflicts remain.

Her Lyonesse series is also, I assume, a reincarnation series--but that's not confirmed yet. I mean, it's in the same universe. And it's about Mark and Tristan and Isolde... so I'm gonna assume...............

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole. This works for me because a) the book has an amazing framing device that sets up the love story as like, a viking saga essentially--because they met during his first life when he was a viking b) only one of them actually gets reincarnated. The other is immortal. And so you have this incredible angst of a woman who's watched this man die over and over (specifically after they get physical), resolving to not get involved with him in his next life to spare him, only to be thrown into his world again when he kidnaps her because in this life, he's against everything she is.

Like... the way she milks it in this book!!! She knows it's him immediately when they make eye contact! He doesn't know her at all! They hate each other! She taunts him about being Irish in this lifetime! She regales him with details about the sex they had in his past lives!

(Kresley did another book with reincarnation that was good but made way less of an impact on me, Wicked Abyss.)

[trashboatprince]

SO!

The Star Beast!

Let's talk about it!

(Major spoilers under the cut)

-First off, I fucking love Fourteen, absolutely a delight, I wanna hug them (Okay, technically I HAVE hugged them when I got to hug David at the con this year, but still!). Also, 'male-presenting Time Lord', bah! Still gonna use they/them when I refer to them because please just let me have this, I don't care, the Doctor canonically doesn't give two shits about gender and even refers to going by the article Doctor over a pronoun in this special anyway.

-Second, DONNA! OH DONNA! I love her, I love her so much, just- oh, she hasn't changed a damn bit! Including missing the fucking alien spacecraft because that was exactly what I expected from her. <3

-Also, most supportive mom, love that.

-Rose~! Oh, oh Rose, how I love you! No notes, she's amazing! It did hurt to hear her dead name being used, but considering that it was done by a bunch of dickheaded kids, it makes sense. But we will never use that name for her here, nope, she's just Rose. <3

-Shaun is a delight, Donna got herself the most excellent of malewives ever

-Sylvia, ah, exactly as I expected, though she is trying to be better for her daughter and granddaughter, so points to her.

-Meep! So much to say on the meep but I'll keep it brief: transphobic little shit.

-UNIT is always fun to see, but how well known are they nowadays because the BBC report actually referred to them. I dunno, I've still working my way through the Third Doctor's era where UNIT was a major plot point and I haven't... finished watching Thirteen's era yet (only because I want to watch it with my gf the next time we see each other).

-Fourteen interacting with the Noble family was great, especially with them trying to see the Meep and Sylvia panicking and wow, this face cannot escape being slapped I wonder if Donna will get to do one herself.

-The action stuff is so much fun, exactly what I expect from this series.

-Being on the Meep's ship, the fact that Donna went to help the Doctor and just... oh, oh, them freaking out and crying because they were scared she'd die when she remembered. I started sobbing.

-Hell, I was crying when they held her in their arms and said he didn't care if the grunts shot them... uuuuhhhhhggggg... Fourteen cares about her so much! That's his best friend!

-Rose! Rose and Donna, Time Ladies! Lord, Lady, and neither! Don't care what anyone says, I loved this. I didn't voice it, but I had a very strong feeling that Rose would inherit the DoctorDonna.

-Was a little confused about them 'letting go' but... yeah, alright, okay. Still, I wonder if there is still a bit of Time Lord left in them.

-Is there any chance that they can sell Rose's plushies. I really want the Ood one.

-THE TARDIS!

-Oooooh, she's beautiful and big and very classic and yet so very nuwho at the same time, a perfect blend, and just so gorgeous! And Fourteen freaking out in excitement, running around like a child, being so happy about a coffee maker in the TARDIS! <3<3<3

-And Donna's reaction! She was so happy too!

-But then the 'killed me' scene... oh, oh honey, you've been holding onto that for centuries, those memories and the guilt. It's honestly heartbreaking to know that the Doctor, through all their new faces, still held onto those feelings about what happened to Donna.

-I'm excited, don't know what the fuck is gonna happen in the next episode since we didn't get a preview and I think it's the least known of the episodes so far.

-I saved this for last, but I wanna talk about the sonic screwdriver cause I know some people are gonna be all 'oh, it's too OP!'

First off, the sonic has always been, it always will be, it's a fucking sci-fi tool, sci-fi series always have some sort of tool that does everything.

Second, whatever the hell it did to make the shields was awesome, that's such a cool trick and I love it. I bet it's done using sound and light waves, which makes for a very interesting concept and something I'd love to explore in one of my sci-fi aus. Not sure how it made that cool schematics things, but whatever.

Also, leave me alone! I love the new sonic! I need to get my hands on one, but they're always sold out or too expensive!

(Okay, not really last, just a bonus, but damn, no offense to Ten, but Fourteen is a bit more attractive to me. I dunno, I mean, I was crushing hard on the DT at 15, but at 31, it's like, oh. Oh no. He's aged so well, he's so pretty. This is probably Crowley's fault.)

[val-of-the-north]

Top 5 hottest Bloodborne characters and why! (P.S. you must exclude Patches though, or else the top will be rigged and pointless)

FUCK YOU WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE!!! (AND OF-FUCKING-CURSE YOU'D EXCLUDE MY BLORBO FUCK OFF)

Alright altright... let me think...

I don't have a particular order for any of these in mind, so bear with me here... the idea of hot in my head isn't really well-defined for these guys. I'll stick to the humans for this (and ones we actually meet and know what they look/ed like ahah), otherwise how is anyone gonna compare to like, Wet Nurse, Kos and Ebrietas? Simply impossible lmao. Also, it's half characters I personally really like and characters that just... ARE hot lol.

Call me simple but Annalise has some ALLURE to her. She looks absolutely beautiful in the portraits we do have of her, but her mask-bound visage inspires mystery and intrigue, as well as her just having that dignified nature to her. Despite everything she ever had having been toppled and destroyed, she keeps her chin up and still commands respect. She is very strong and confident in her blasphemy and you can't help but love to see it.

Call me simple YET AGAIN but Gascoigne is just undeniably hot lol. Like, I am not even his biggest fan but even I think it's an objective fact. He has everything you could ever want. Gigantic dad body, sharp teeth, a sexy voice... and he is probably sweet enough when off work to maintain a pretty stable loving family and a life-long buddy. Technically!!! He is the ONLY human character (that isn't a prostitute I guess) that is confirmed as not being a virgin lmao. Even the setting wanted you to know this man fucks. Like, there's no denying he is THE hot character of the setting when the topic comes up. People don't call him daddy for nothing...

Valtr. I don't even have to elaborate honestly. His looks are appealing, his insanity and violence are appealing, his voice acting is appealing. He is just REALLY freaking appealing with how strong he is and how passionate he is about the things he believes. And, while this may be a thing that only makes him more appealing to me, he also has the potential to be silly, which is hilarious since he is the character who'se goal is "everyone must die". I mean, it's THAT goal itself that makes him silly in the first place ahah. But yeah, solid design, concept, backstory and execution. It does not surprise me multiple people simp for him. Honestly, I am surprised it's not MORE.

Now with the more conventional out of the way, I'll go with Djura. He is a frisky old man, and one who tries to atone for his mistakes and crimes. He is well-meaning and surprisingly honest for someone in Yharnam lol, which makes him stand out in a sea of asshole opportunists and deranged lunatics. You know how people usually gravitate towards batshit crazy weirdo characters in a sea of relatively sane and good characters? I think Djura has the same effect but reversed lol. HE is the novelty in this world. Also, his design is pretty freaking attractive. It's simple, but the charm is there. His voice actor did a very good job as well ahah. I love his line delivery...

... I'll come out and say that I can see the appeal of Logarius VERY well. He is a tall evil man of dubious origin just chilling (literally) on the roof of Cainhurst for all time. He was most likely somewhat Pthumerian which adds to his attractiveness, as it would make him not QUITE a human (but still human enough to make it on this list lol). I also listened to the sounds he makes and I liked what I heard... he has a pretty cool evil laugh. I just like how he was either fully deluded and really believed his quest, or he was just enticing a group of fanatics while knowing full well their quest had ulterior motives. Both work and both are appealing for different reasons. One has to wonder what he looked like before he turned into a Halloween decoration...... welp, I said it. I am cringe but I am free...

Honorable mention to thicc Willem, the sexiest man in Yharnam and the one who ruined it. I like to think he wasn't JUST smart back in the day lol

[alinesart3]

Skyfall: Part 2

This fanfiction is written by me and @mostsanenikolaikinnie on pinterest

Pairings: fyodor x nikolai (toxic), sigma x nikolai

Warning: language, su1c1de attempt, god complex

A/N: Part 2 is here!! It took some time because I had to rewrite some scenes but now it’s finally here. (Btw there’s a lot more parts so get ready)

Word count: 1 693

About a mile above the city of Yokohama, Nikolai was falling at a rapid speed, looking up at the Sky casino. "So this is how it is to fly.. Its actually quite peaceful.. such a lovely view from up here, even though it's the last thing I'll see.." he laughed to himself as he admired the beauty and peace of the clouds. Then something popped up in this mind "Sigma.. when I fell.. he tried to catch me.. he seemed.. sad.. and upset..? Sigma, what a strange person you are.. only 3 years old, but yet understand so, so much.. I hope you'll survive in the cruel world without me.." Nikolai closed his eyes and smiled thinking of his friend. Someone who actually cared about him..

Fyodor snapped at Sigma "Why didn’t you stop him?!" Sigma felt his heart sink as he thought to himself "He's right.. I should've stopped him.. did i.. did I technically kill Nikolai?!" Fyodor sighed and looked back out the window "Whatever.." "Do you know how to save him?" Fyodor ignored Sigma "SIR?! WE ARE GOING TO SAVE HIM, RIGHT?!" Fyodor replied calmly, but Sigma could sense annoyance in his voice "Do not yell at me, I'm thinking" Sigma felt slightly embarrassed that he yelled at Fyodor like that "Sorry, Sir..  but we're gonna save him, right?" Fyodor sighed "..Yes" Sigma felt a bit better knowing that Fyodor was on board with the idea. "Thank God..  but we need to hurry and come up with something!" "What do you think I'm trying to do?" Fyodor thought for a moment and Sigma tried coming up with something too. "Do you know anyone that could save him? No one in the DOA can.." Fyodor nodded "I know one person, but convincing him won't be easy.." "Who?!" "Chuuya Nakahara. His gravity manipulation skill is the only thing that can help is in this situation" Sigma looked confused and shocked. "What?! You want to team up with the Port Mafia?!" Fyodor frowned "Are you doubting my decision?" "No- of course not.." Sigma still seemed confused about Fyodor's decision. And also, another question wouldn't leave his head: "May I ask.. why did you decide to save him? I mean, don't you hate Nikolai?" "I do hate him.." Fyodor explained "but I need him to fulfil my plan. You know, to get the Reality-changing book." Sigma realized that Fyodor really does hate Nikolai and he's only using him. All he says to Nikolai is true about leaving him to die after he has the Reality-changing book in his possession. He couldn't leave Nikolai to die, though. And if he's alive there'd be a chance to free him. "But.. Do you think he'll help us?" Sigma pondered "Leave it up to me" Fyodor went away from the window and Sigma followed him shortly.

Fyodor was sitting in the office of the leader of the Port Mafia, Mori.

"Hello sir, you wanted to see me?" The Port Mafia executive, Chuuya Nakahara, who had just been called in by his boss, entered the room. "Yes I did. There's someone who wants to talk to you. They're waiting for you in that room" Mori nodded in the direction of a door. "Alright" Chuuya entered the room and shrieked "FYODOR?!" "Nice to see you too, Chuuya. As your boss said, we need to discuss something" "Make it quick" Chuuya crossed his arms. "So basically Nikolai committed suicide and is falling to his death." Fyodor seemed completely unbothered as if he was having a casual chat with one of his friends. "So I wanted to ask if you can use your gravity manipulation and save him" Chuuya scoffed "Me? Save a member of a rival organisation? Hell no."  Fyodor stood up and glared down at Chuuya. "Very well, I'd just like to have a word with your boss before I leave." And then he entered the Port Mafia's boss' office. A few minutes later, Fyodor and Mori re-entered the room where Chuuya was. "Chuuya, go save Nikolai." Mori demanded. "HUH?! WHAT??" Chuuya was completely lost. How did Fyodor manage to convince Mori to help? "Yes. And hurry before it's too late." Mori seemed completely serious about the order. Chuuya knew he couldn't protest. "I- alright.." They went outside to start the rescue mission. "Oh, you convinced him!" Sigma, who’s been waiting for them in the waiting room, exclaimed and ran to Fyodor and Chuuya. "Not exactly.. I convinced his boss" Chuuya rolled his eyes when Fyodor spoke. "Ah, but the main thing is that he's here and will help. Anyhow, we need to locate Nikolai" Sigma opened the closest window and looked outside. Everyone scanned the sky to see if they could spot Nikolai when suddenly Sigma pointed up to the sky and called out "There he is!" Chuuya looked in the direction that Sigma was pointing in and flew up quickly.

Nikolai closed his eyes as he saw the ground come closer and closer. "Finally.. the sweet release of death.. Finally I'll be put out of my misery.. and finally..  Fyodor will be happy.." Suddenly he stopped falling, even though he hasn’t reached the ground yet. He opened his eyes again to see what was going on. Chuuya had decreased Nikolai’s gravity to stop him from falling. "HUH?! What are you doing here?!" Chuuya smirked "Sorry man, you're not gonna die today" Nikolai looked around, utterly bewildered "How- how did you find out about this?! Why did you save me!? I.. I have so many questions.." Chuuya chuckled "Don't worry. Let's just get you back to the others"

"Nikolai!" Sigma ran up to nikolai and hugged him. "I'm.. I'm just so happy you're okay.. I couldn't believe my eyes when you jumped out of the window.. I thought I lost you forever!" Sigma was so relieved and at peace knowing that Nikolai was alive and well. Nikolai smiled. "So you were the one that sent Chuuya to save me?" Nikolai looked over to the place Chuuya stood in, but he had already left. "No, it was Fyodor" Nikolai glanced quickly at Fyodor, who wasn't paying attention to him at all "Fyodor wanted to save me.." Nikolai thought to himself "He wanted me to live?!" He was confused. It didn't make sense! Fyodor hated him! Why would he ever save Nikolai? Could that mean Fyodor loved him after all? "Let's head back to the Sky Casino" Sigma beckoned Nikolai to follow him and the three of them started making their way back to the Sky Casino.

When they arrived in the Sky Casino, Fyodor told Nikolai to follow him into his office. Fyodor closed the door and approached Nikolai. "Nikolai.." Fyodor smiled gently and put his hand on Nikolai’s shoulder. Then suddenly, he sharply raised his hand and slapped Nikolai across. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Nikolai flinched and muttered "I.. I wanted to see how you'd react..!" Fyodor slapped Nikolai again "See how I‘d react?! Are you insane?! No one in their right mind does something like that! Just for a reaction you wouldn’t even be able to witness?! What part of ‘I hate you’ don‘t you understand?!?" Sigma carefully walked into Fyodor's office as well. Nikolai felt completely deceived and started shouting out of anger "WHY DID YOU SAVE ME THEN, HUH?!" Fyodor stared at Nikolai with a vicious, deadly look in his eyes as he started protesting and shouting at Fyodor. "TELL ME!" Nikolai saw Sigma from the corner of his eye and turned towards him "Sigma.. why did Fyodor save me?" Sigma looked down to the ground. Nikolai sighed and turned back towards Fyodor. "I see. It's all for that stupid plan of yours.. the only thing you see in me is a tool you'll just discard once it doesn't benefit you anymore. Well I'm not going to help you" Nikolai used his cape to teleport himself away. "Nikolai-!" Sigma tried stopping Nikolai from leaving, but he was too slow. "How are we going to get him back, Sir?" Fyodor sighed, clearly annoyed "I'll find a way. Now leave. I need to think." Fyodor waved to the door as a signal for Sigma to leave. Sigma turned away and left the room. He was worried about what Fyodor was going to do to Nikolai.

Fyodor was thinking of ways to get Nikolai to work together with them. "Nikolai’s dumber than I thought. If he does not cooperate voluntarily, I will force him to do so. And I will use whatever it takes to carry out my plan, even if it means to torture him to death."

To be continued…

There will be part 3 don’t worry ;)

Also you can read the fic on Ao3 under the account Dead1whiteMouse

[neowinestainedress]

omg hiii its 2 am at my place when i finished 'hits different' and now typing this (and idk what time i gonna finish typing and hit the blue button to send). my eyes still wet cuz omg yes again i cried. you write so well and i swear i could write a wholw paragraph about how much i love your style and writing and how you poured emotions into your writing. i just hope whatever you do in your life outside this app, you'll never stop writing, even if it's a hobby to kill your free time but i'm sure you love writing with all the word counts every time you released a story. (definitely not saying the short works doesnt have your love poured in but you know what i mean, i just really love long oneshot and i appreciate it so much that you wrote them to the end and uploaded it here)

the development of your characters... damn. you wrote them so well. AND OH GOSH HAECHAN CHARACTER HERE IS JUST A PERFECT DAYDREAMING GUY WE ALL WANT IN OUR LIVES. "When life give you Haechan, don't let him slip away." GOD I WISH LIFE GIVE ME A LEE HAECHAN (i mean yes technically we are living the same lifetime with one and only lee haechan), to the point i dont think i will be able to fall in love with other men irl cuz haechan has set the bar too high for anyone to reach it. okay that's probably too personal. But, once again thank you for writing a very perfect lee haechan in your writing once again. At least the hopeless romantic in me can be happy.

And the angst??? I LIVE TO READ AND LOVE ANGST, I AM LIVING FOR IT. At some point i feel like the pinch to my heart get so real i think im really the fl in the story. well i definitely can feel the real trauma and i understand how she acted like that. poor haechan but yeah it happened when it get to overwhelmed. Thanks for his characteristics tho, he stays and lord i want a man like him (no i dont want other men) and being the most understanding, patience, he like an angel he deserves so damn much love and honestly i wish the fl give him that even after the story end with happy ending cuz yes both of them deserves the happiness and love together.

but of course haechan can be the real devil when it comes to making love (oh i wish theres a part where they be making love like you know after confessing and becoming couple so the tension is not in the air and they can just enjoy yeaㅡ i need to writing too much)

“And I will die like a man,” he insists, challenging you with a glare.

“Yeah, exactly, don’t think,” he snarls.

“I don’t want to hear you. I don’t need to hear you to know you’re going dumb on my cock.”

Yes, i died here. And come back to life and SCREAM. He is a menace, a loser, BUT I WANT HIM. Honestly there are lot more (i mean its 40k+) but yeah i need to stay sane for my own self. Adding cherries on top, he is the real guy because whatever situation he knows he shouldn't force and always care for the fl.

And i love how you include all the positivity in the fic, tho of course it should be a norm, SAY YES TO NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE WHEN THE WOMEN OR EVEN MEN NOT BEING THEMSELVES!!

Well honestly, i kinda wonder if Mark actually know it's fl that Haechan always brought home and fuck (when he is there). So, I always thought like maybe Mark heard it and then shove anything in his ears to block the moans and all so he never noticed fl's voice or maybe he get out of the house whenever it happened (and he is not out of the house yet), or he just pretend he didn't know anything but that doesn't make sense cuz when haechan was with wonyoung, he didn't seems to like saying something that involved feelings with the fl.

I have so much things to say but i will cut it short here with thank you for writing a perfect long piece of yet another haechan fic, i really love it!

and here am i moving on to other things...

This is probably too long already and this is not related to 'hits different' but your other fic, the traitor series. idk if you still remember but i used to send ask where i talked about 2nd part and you did replied but i didnt replied back (sorry about that) because i was waiting until the 3rd part come out and decided to just get back to the 'discussion' after that but i never did altho i have read the 3rd part due to my busy schedule so i ended up losing the notif since tumblr only let certain amount of time. and i finally get back to you now. Another reason is it's the same as this, i have so much things to say and couldnt find a right way to put it into long para cuz yes of course im so satisfied with your writing and at the end the fl get together with haechan just like how i wish altho he kinda dont deserve it. Yes of course i still feel like he doesnt deserve her after all he did to her but he changes and i shouldnt hold onto it too much when they could find happiness among themselves again. You did included it in your note about writing another part for jeno but since its already too long. Well im not gonna ask you to write about because i have seen your wip and you planned to write a lot and your req is close too (+ it's too late now anyway) so i will just say this here, well honestly you always end your story with characters developments so theres nothing to ask for more. I would love to see how haechan and the fl in their new 2nd chance relationship, like how haechan treat her when they hanging out with their friends and if jeno finally found the loml cuz he deserves his own happy ending (altho ofc happy ending doesnt mean he need to find a partner to be with). But that should be it. I'm just writing this here cuz i feel bad for not getting back to you for that series but also its not only bc i feel bad cuz that sounds like im forcing myself it just i really think i should tell you you did well writing the series and appreciate it that you even took time before posting the last part so you of course put so much in thought how youre going to end it and i feel the need to put closure to our discussion just because it's worth it. It deserve the closure note too and once again im so sorry for coming this late to give feedback of the series.

Hoping for your happiness and have nice days ahead!! couldn't wait for your other masterpieces but still take time!! Lots of love!!!! 💗💗💗💗

hii!! i wanted to say that i thought it’s impossible to cry for this fic as if i didn’t tear up while i wrote the last texts haechan sent the mc lmao (i’m a liar) so i’m sorry, my next goals are 1) a happy fic and 2) a short fic. this made me tear up, i’m so happy you can see how much i love writing and i hope the same. if i’m lucky enough to get the job i hope to get i should have a bit of free time to keep my writing hobby alive so, let’s hope for the best! And yes, i totally get what you mean, writing a 20-40k or more story takes much more time than a fic around 1-5k words and if you don’t love doing it you don’t put those words down.  

the development of your characters... damn. you wrote them so well. AND OH GOSH HAECHAN CHARACTER HERE IS JUST A PERFECT DAYDREAMING GUY WE ALL WANT IN OUR LIVES. "When life give you Haechan, don't let him slip away." GOD I WISH LIFE GIVE ME A LEE HAECHAN (i mean yes technically we are living the same lifetime with one and only lee haechan), to the point i dont think i will be able to fall in love with other men irl cuz haechan has set the bar too high for anyone to reach it. okay that's probably too personal. But, once again thank you for writing a very perfect lee haechan in your writing once again. At least the hopeless romantic in me can be happy.

this is haechan’s vendetta for all the times i wrote him like an asshole LET’S GO HAECHAN AND SUNFLOWERS!!! it’s not a want it’s a NEED at this point (also it got nothing to do with the story but lately he’s feeding my delusion a bit too much so yeah). i might’ve written the man of my dreams in this fic… just maybe. no but it’s true that we don’t know him truly but it’s already a blessing to living at the same time. i think i came up with a good compromise between real him and obviously made up character, idk how to explain but the mix between the hopeless romantic – or loser (affectionative) – and the tease is just so haechan.

And the angst??? I LIVE TO READ AND LOVE ANGST, I AM LIVING FOR IT. At some point i feel like the pinch to my heart get so real i think im really the fl in the story. well i definitely can feel the real trauma and i understand how she acted like that. poor haechan but yeah it happened when it get to overwhelmed. Thanks for his characteristics tho, he stays and lord i want a man like him (no i dont want other men) and being the most understanding, patience, he like an angel he deserves so damn much love and honestly i wish the fl give him that even after the story end with happy ending cuz yes both of them deserves the happiness and love together.

i was unsure about her backstory for so long, because initially she wasn’t supposed to have one (not this heavy at least) but then it came to me out of nowhere and i felt it was more fitting of a reasoning for the way she behaved (especially her obsession with rules) than some tough break-ups. i’m not even sure it was what the person that requested wanted but as much as I love fwb2l i’m sick of always reading them with the fl being the first one to fall in love or the one to be more emotionally into the story. i struggled to come up with a plot for months but i was sure since the start that i wanted haechan’s character to be like this. the first one to reach out (when they met again at the club, when he asked for her number, asking her to stay over and so on) i needed loser haechan in my life so badly. and yeah, i can reassure you they’re living happily together because it’s what they deserve.

but of course haechan can be the real devil when it comes to making love (oh i wish theres a part where they be making love like you know after confessing and becoming couple so the tension is not in the air and they can just enjoy yeaㅡ i need to writing too much) “And I will die like a man,” he insists, challenging you with a glare.|“Yeah, exactly, don’t think,” he snarls. | “I don’t want to hear you. I don’t need to hear you to know you’re going dumb on my cock.” Yes, i died here. And come back to life and SCREAM. He is a menace, a loser, BUT I WANT HIM. Honestly there are lot more (i mean its 40k+) but yeah i need to stay sane for my own self. Adding cherries on top, he is the real guy because whatever situation he knows he shouldn't force and always care for the fl.

i wasn’t sure about ending it where it ended, but to be honest i didn’t even think about writing a short smut scene. i wanted to add another scene like two months later but then i thought the fic was too long already so i was like ‘nah, let’s leave it to reader’s imagination’. now you’re making me think about them making love and i’m crying. it would’ve been even better if it was from haechan’s pov, like… he really thought he had lost her and then… she was still there??? and she confessed she never loved nobody else like him??? BRB GOTTA HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

the funny thing is the I KNOW that Haechan’s the type to say things like this even irl it’s just his vibe *crying* whoever dates him is so lucky.

i literally wrote about a man that will never exist in real life, how do i bring him to life??

And I love how you include all the positivity in the fic, tho of course it should be a norm, SAY YES TO NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE WHEN THE WOMEN OR EVEN MEN NOT BEING THEMSELVES!!

it should be the norm but unfortunately it’s not so rip

Well honestly, i kinda wonder if Mark actually know it's fl that Haechan always brought home and fuck (when he is there). So, I always thought like maybe Mark heard it and then shove anything in his ears to block the moans and all so he never noticed fl's voice or maybe he get out of the house whenever it happened (and he is not out of the house yet), or he just pretend he didn't know anything but that doesn't make sense cuz when haechan was with wonyoung, he didn't seems to like saying something that involved feelings with the fl.

can i be honest? i love mark but in this story he really is mr clueles😭 1) he’s awkward so even if he heard (he did hear at times) he would shove his earphones on and try to fall asleep like that. 2) after a few months of their affair, he started dating minjeong so he didn’t want to listen and try to analyse the moans of his roommate’s hookup at all 3) the mc was just too good at slipping away they never met not even by mistake and also most of the times they just met up when mark wasn’t there. he knew something was going on but he never pried on it much, also because haechan was good at keeping it a secret. hyuck flirts with many people so to mark is not really weird he brings someone at home every now and then. and haechan’s story with wonyoung was super short and at one point it’s clear hyuck doesn’t talk much about his relationships so mark almost only makes assumptions about them (in fact, to him they’re dating but they’re really not, when haechan goes back to the mc and has to talk with wonyoung it’s just to say that they can’t get to know each other romantically because there’s someone else in his life). it’s a mix of mark barely being with his head on earth (they way he always tries to set mc up with anybody every time they go out when she’s sulking because she wants Haechan sends me) and mc and haechan being good at keeping it a secret (always in a corner, touches under the table, going to a place they know none of their friends will ever go)

I have so much things to say but i will cut it short here with thank you for writing a perfect long piece of yet another haechan fic, i really love it!

Thank you, it made so happy to discuss it with you, probably I’ve answered too much but I hope it’s not a problem!!

This is probably too long already and this is not related to 'hits different' but your other fic, the traitor series. idk if you still remember but i used to send ask where i talked about 2nd part and you did replied but i didnt replied back (sorry about that) because i was waiting until the 3rd part come out and decided to just get back to the 'discussion' after that but i never did altho i have read the 3rd part due to my busy schedule so i ended up losing the notif since tumblr only let certain amount of time. and i finally get back to you now.

i have a few asks about that story so i’m not sure which one is yours (i guess the long one? did you want haechan and the mc to get back together but at the same time you wanted to slap him for what he did?) but apart from that, don��t worry. i don’t mind even if you discuss a fic six months after i posted it or even a year, life gets busy and tumblr sucks so it’s fine.

Another reason is it's the same as this, i have so much things to say and couldnt find a right way to put it into long para cuz yes of course im so satisfied with your writing and at the end the fl get together with haechan just like how i wish altho he kinda dont deserve it. Yes of course i still feel like he doesnt deserve her after all he did to her but he changes and i shouldnt hold onto it too much when they could find happiness among themselves again.

i’m happy you liked the ending of happier. haechan in that series surely wasn’t the man of our dreams but he’s working hard to be a better person. i know it’s all fictional and those characters don’t exist but i wouldn’t have made it end that way if i didn’t know he could be a better man and keep on growing up, so you can sleep at night knowing they’re all happy.

You did included it in your note about writing another part for jeno but since its already too long. Well im not gonna ask you to write about because i have seen your wip and you planned to write a lot and your req is close too (+ it's too late now anyway) so i will just say this here, well honestly you always end your story with characters developments so theres nothing to ask for more. I would love to see how haechan and the fl in their new 2nd chance relationship, like how haechan treat her when they hanging out with their friends and if jeno finally found the loml cuz he deserves his own happy ending (altho ofc happy ending doesnt mean he need to find a partner to be with).

honestly? i wanted to write that part right away even if nobody wanted it. but then last year i had a really bad burn out and i still have no idea how i managed to write the stories i had planned back then (and in fact i didn’t write two of one series) so i decided to don’t start anything because then i get mad at me. like i use writing as escapism and when i start a story and can’t give it an ending it reflects on me more than it should, so i’ve promised myself to don’t put too much on the plate. BUT who knows, if i can keep it short i could still write a small epilogue where we see more of haechan and mc’s relationship and also jeno. in my mind they’re all back together as friends, and jeno did find another person that loves him like he deserves, so whether i’ll write another small part or not, this is their future in the sour universe. i would’ve loved to expend the sour universe and make an entire spin-off on jeno for sure, and maybe even on renjun but that’s just too much work.

i’m also happy you understood the characters development because some comments drove me insane and made me doubt everything. i simply thing this ending was a clear cut, you either liked jeno or haechan and it’s obviously if she didn’t end up with who you were rooting for, you would’ve ended up disappointed. but to me this story was so much more than #teamjeno or #teamhaechan so i’m happy with my characters anyway (even tho sour!haechan you will never be like hits different!haechan)

But that should be it. I'm just writing this here cuz i feel bad for not getting back to you for that series but also its not only bc i feel bad cuz that sounds like im forcing myself it just i really think i should tell you you did well writing the series and appreciate it that you even took time before posting the last part so you of course put so much in thought how youre going to end it and i feel the need to put closure to our discussion just because it's worth it. It deserve the closure note too and once again im so sorry for coming this late to give feedback of the series.

no don’t feel bad at all, i’m the chilliest person and i just love discussing about my stories but i don’t get mad when it takes more time to reply, i’m a late replier too so i can’t get mad at others.

thank you so much for this ask, it made me really happy and i’m still glad you wanted to also discuss happier. have a nice day too!!! Love you 💗💗💗

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Sep 23

Just got to the hotel! Blessed by the weather gods today, had the perfect amount of cloud cover and it wasn't hot at all until the sun came out for the last hour of the drive, hallelujah.

My roommate isn't here yet and I want to get high and lounge around but I have to go get groceries first, send me moral support 🙏 half tempted to just, not, but I know I'll regret that in the morning when I have no caffeine and no food...

-

Update: it's now 7:30pm, groceries were acquired, roommate is still not here, I'm gonna take a shower and drink a beer and eat an edible and hopefully relax.

(I'm rambling again so I'm putting the rest under a read more)

Have to be at work around 7am tmro, technically start time is 8 but it's the first day and I gotta figure out where to park and get all my gear together etc. Also didn't get cigs so I have to stop somewhere in the morning...

And I have to eat dinner tonight??? (Ugh you mean I have to eat the food I just bought?? Lol) The weed will probably help encourage that. Wish I had a cig right now I'm a lil bit stressing but it'll be fine, life is good, I will survive even though it's gonna be hot af tmro...

I finally got a new hairbrush (lost mine a couple weeks ago) and it actually feels so good to brush my hair again haha.

Wishing I had a cuddle buddy here tonight but it is what it is! D will be here for show days and hopefully I'll be off work that week in between so we can hang out, that'll be nice.

Right now: just trying to relax, get settled. Got all my stuff organized so whenever roomie shows up it at least looks like I have my shit together 😅 hoping she doesn't ask to carpool to work bc my van is a mess + no AC, but maybe I can just say that and she'll find another ride... Also thinking about like, it's always hot af trying to drive home after work in Austin traffic direct sunlight etc; maybe I'll just hang out at the park for a while after work, cool down in the shade, do some yoga read a book etc, and then drive home once the traffic subsides and the sun goes down? Idk just thinking. (Stop thinking so much just go take a shower and relax, whatever happens tomorrow will unfold on its own time.)

Also, my period is starting, I actually might die tomorrow - it'll be ok just take breaks and eat snacks and pour ice water on your body haha. Last year I went home early twice bc of the heat and I'm going to try so hard to keep it together this year. I haven't built a stage since April but you know what, it's really not that hard, find the easy tasks and start doing them before anyone else does them 😂

Unrelated but L just told me he quit his job and is starting another endeavor, very happy for him but also bummed bc maybe now I won't see him at the next 2 gigs and I was really looking forward to that......... But maybe I will, idk, I don't want to be clingy and weird but at the same time I want to spend more time with him? Like basically we met, hung out for 3 weeks straight, and haven't seen him since lol. I'm sure we'll cross paths again at some point but who knows when.

Anyway, the edible is kicking in already, that was fast but maybe it's bc I haven't eaten anything besides a small bag of chips at like, noon... Go shower and eat dinner and watch something silly on TV. Set an alarm and figure everything else out in the morning. It's all going to work out ❤️

[katyusha454]

I had a fucked-up nightmare about Shar and now I'm going to inflict it on Tumblr

gonna slap a CW on this because Shar is The Worst™ and there's some pretty disturbing stuff under the cut

In the dream I was me, except it turned out I wasn't who I thought I was. I was a former Sharran who'd defected and fled through a magic portal to Earth to escape Shar's wrath, then used the last of my magic to re-write my own memories so I could live a normal life. This worked fine until playing BG3 started to trigger repressed memories, and remembering that Shar was real somehow allowed her to find me and drag me back to Faerûn. And she was not happy about all these un-Sharran opinions I'd developed from living on Earth. I wasn't important to her the way Shadowheart was, so she didn't use the "complete memory wipe plus magic shock collar" approach that she did with Shadowheart because I wasn't worth the effort of fully reprogramming. Instead she gave me a bunch of magic tattoos that would allow her to control me, and told me that if I ever stepped out of line again she'd force me to kill myself. And she reminded me that in the Forgotten Realms, if you swear to serve a god and then betray them without joining a new religion, when you die the god of the dead will consider you Faithless and False and sentence you to eternal torture. That was such a frightening prospect to me that I "willingly" chose to serve Shar again because at least oblivion was preferable to torture. Then she dropped me at the cloister in Baldur's Gate and told the Mother Superior to re-train me. Somehow this was taking place before the events of BG3 so Shadowheart was still living at the cloister but I didn't tell her any of what I knew because I didn't want to risk pissing off Shar. The dream gets real fuzzy and I don't remember what all I did while I was there but I know I did some awful things and felt guilty about it. I never tried to befriend Shadowheart because I didn't want to risk letting her know about something she wasn't supposed to know about or that hadn't happened yet. Eventually I got assigned to Shadowheart's team that went to steal the prism from the Githyanki and I was captured by mind flayers along with Shadowheart. The dream ended with her and I trying to escape from the nautiloid.

I think one of the scariest parts was just being around Shadowheart at the end, because I knew every possible outcome but I couldn't risk telling her any of it and I was agonizing over how to handle everything that was to come. I figured it was too late for anyone to save me from Shar but there was still a chance to save her, but I couldn't be the one to do it. Would I be able to get away with just keeping quiet and letting her make her own decisions, or would Shar want me to actively step in? And how the FUCK was I going to explain my own situation to everyone once we inevitably got outed as Sharrans? Would explaining things by itself be enough to anger Shar? How much attention was Shar actually paying to what I did? It gave me so much anxiety.

And I'm not sure if this was actually explained to me in the dream or if I just came up with the idea myself while thinking about it after waking, but I think the reason Shar didn't mind-wipe me was that she knew that even though I was resigned to my fate my spirit wasn't 100% broken yet. She wanted me to dwell on everything I'd lost and she knew that if she let me wallow in my sorrows long enough eventually I'd beg her to take my memories away once I'd lost that last little glimmer of hope. She wanted me to ask her for it. The only thing Shar ever explicitly forced on me was dragging me back to Toril; everything else was, to quote Raphael, "you're free to choose the only option you have left". It was technically true that "only the willing may know the Lady's embrace", but she had a very, shall we say, "flexible" definition of "willing".