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honeypirate · 4 years ago

Text

Old Friend pt 2

Part one

Vulcan x Fem!Reader

Request: Can you do a part 2 of an old friend with how Vulcan's friends would react to reader? Also, Lisa secretly likes Vulcan and blackmails reader. This takes place when Lisa is revealed as a traitor to Vulcan.

Sooooooo I already had this part semi written so I just tried to add most of this request hahah I didn’t have the blackmail part so I tried to add it and I just left the ending like I already had. I hope you like it!

Unedited like usual

“Oh” she says with a forced smile and you stare, just a little too long trying to place her. How do you know her?! “Hi there! I’m Yu, it’s nice to meet you” the boy says as he comes toward you “I’m y/n” you say with an awkward laugh before reaching out your hand for a hand shake “it’s nice to meet you as well” Lisa eyes you the whole time, she knew you right away. She remembers the day you met, you knocked on Giovanni’s office as they finished their meeting and he brought you in, talking to you about your duties for a moment before dismissing you, Lisa watching from her spot on a chair. You didn’t look or talk to her, but she knew something wrong was happening for you to be here. “Hey Yu, how about you show y/n the workshop and Vulcan and I will make some food” you make eye contact with Vulcan, your eyes a little concerned and he just smiles softly and nods. Yu smiles “follow me! Maybe I can show you my inventions too” you chuckle softly as he launches into telling you about his ideas as he leads you out the door.

“What happened to her?” Lisa asks, Why is she here? She adds just in her head, as she takes ingredients from the fridge “she just escaped Giovani and needed refuge” Vulcan says with a sigh as he starts the stove. “Did those boys leave? For real?” Vulcan asks and Lisa nods “yeah they’re gone now. And your can throwing mess is cleaned up” Vulcan laughs “thank you, Lisa”

You’re sitting in the couch in the little home space in the side of the workshop, Yu showing you his sketches and his prototypes, you ask questions excitedly since you have experience with Vulcan’s inventions. “this is the idea I had last, it’s a machine that cuts your hair for you” he shows you a helmet and you laugh “that’s terrifying but I hope you succeed with it because it would be really cool”

“Hey Yu? Can I have a moment with her? Woman to woman?” Yu blushes before he nods and quickly walks out of the room, taking his machine with him. you swallow hard as you look up at the redhead. She sits on the coffee table beside the couch, crossing her naked leg over her Jean clad one, and smiles sickly sweet down at you.

“Do you know the story of Goldilocks and the three bears?” you nod slowly and she laughs “oh perfect! Then you understand how fucking stupid those bears are” she grins with a head tilt. your brows furrow “what?” you ask and scoot forward to the edge of your seat, meaning to stand. Yet she stops you, blocking your way and uncrossing her legs. “I mean, they’re bears!” she says and laughs “a little girl came into their home and ate their porridge, and they just let her.” her next words are quiet, dripping with rage, as she leans in closer to you. “If i was a bear, and someone came for my porridge, I would have ripped her skinny little arms off” she flicks her hair with and grins, her eyes filled with hate as she laughs again

“It.. it’s just porridge” you whisper, your hands beginning to tremble with anger but you know in your state you can’t fight her. The air seems to crackle with tension, her anger is seething in her eyes as she acts fake sweet, dripping with a ridiculous amount of disdain for you. “yeah well, when someone comes into my home and tries to take someone I cherish, i won’t let them take it” you push her back and stand, meaning to defend yourself but before you can she laughs and brushes her fingers across your neck, pushing your hair behind your shoulder “you’re just so pretty! Such gorgeous hair!” she chuckles before standing and walking out of the room, the air seeming to relax as she leaves. leaving you to try and control your breathing as you sit back down and slump against the couch, your hands shaking and cold.

Then it hits you, Giovanni’s voice echoing in your head as the memory of him slicing your skin comes back “we already have a girl in place, we don't really need you. You met her once on your first day, she was in my office” you stand quickly and head towards the kitchen but before you can get there, the door is bursting open.

(Skippy skip skip)

Your head is pounding as you watch the scene unfold from your spot against the wall where you were thrown, your body too numb to move and most of your wounds reopened. “This is my fault. If I just stayed away. Maybe. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened” you think as tears fall down your cheeks

Lisa had taken her extra hatred out on you causing probable brain damage from the fact that you can’t hear anything other than soft music, which you know isn't coming from this place.

Your eyes drift over to Vulcan from his place on the ground, the smashed machine next to him bringing more tears to your eyes. That was such a precious item to him, one that you shared memories with as well. You can’t control the memory that washes over you, it feels like you’re really experiencing the memory again.

“Are you sure?” You whisper as he locks his bedroom door, you must be about 10. He was showing you the extra special machine his dad never let him use alone, it was a family secret but you had convinced him to show you. He laughs “y/n this was your idea” you sigh “I know! But we aren’t supposed to and now I’m feeling guilty” he pats your head “don’t worry so much. It’s fine” then he turns it on and your whole word explodes.

Stars Burst along the edge of your vision as you come back to earth, looking around your eyes land on the blonde girl, she’s from the eighth but you don’t remember her name. She glances at you and her face contorts with worry and recognition.

Your eyes wander over to Giovanni again, the stars morphing into rainbow colors. You assume he is saying something as he looks down at Vulcan's form but before he can do anything the door is exploding, taking Giovani out. The boy who caused the explosion made you smirk but you couldn't really see him, your eyes clouding with dark spots now.

For a second you think that the falling animals are part of your brain injuries, but then you realize, that’s all Vulcan. The blonde girl pressing the buttons, her voice finally reaching your ears as the world comes back to you. Her little ‘latom’s she’s whispering make you smile. The boy without the shirt who took out the door blasts Giovanni through the wall and that's when it all goes dark and quiet, pulling you down into the endless darkness

When you wake up you’re in the hospital, the familiar scent of disinfectant filling your nose. When your eyes open they land on Obi “hey kid” he says “long time no see” you chuckle and then groan from the pain in your body as you sit up “you had a lot of damage, nasty cuts and many bruised bones and organs but you’re going to be fine. If you do well over night you can come home tomorrow. Vulcan and Shinra filled me in on what happened with Giovanni.” you nod and look at your hands, now bandaged on a few fingers.

“Come to the eighth, as a guest or as a member” he says and you smile, meeting his eye again “I'd like that. To be on the right side for real now” your voice was strained from the dryness in your throat and he poured you a glass of water. “For what it’s worth, I’m proud of how far you’ve come. You’ve done amazing work y/n” you feel tears prick your eyes and you look down again, brushing them away “Thank you Captain” you whisper and he pats your shoulder

You’re let out of the hospital the next day, your concussion was bad but they said you could rest at home with a check up in a few weeks to make sure you were healing properly.

“This is going to be your room while you stay here, it’ll be private for the time being. Now you should probably rest.” you scoff “come on now Obi, I’m not a wuss. Just a little weak. Show me the rest and introduce me to the team” your captain laughs and it makes you feel warmth in your heart, which was incredibly nice considering all you felt at the third was cold and isolated. you were pretty sure your heart was shriveled from that but this warmth finally makes you think otherwise. Obi pats your shoulder softly “Alright alright, follow me then”

Meeting the team was probably the sweetest moment you’ve had in a long time. They were all so kind, so welcoming. “We’re glad to have you back.” Maki says and Iris next to her is nodding. You recognize them as the ones who showed you to Obi's office that first day. You smiled, a true smile that you meant, other than the cold ones at the third that didn’t reach your eyes. “Thank you”

Vulcan in the back of the room comes up to you when he sees your shoulders slump “come on, you should rest” he says and you nod, you’re not ready to talk to him but you’re too tired and weak to object as he leads you out of the room.

“We should talk” he says once you’re alone and far enough from the others. “V, I just- what?” His expression makes you stop your sentence, wide eyes and smiling. “nothing you just, it’s been a while since you called me that is all” your heart rate spikes and you curse it, curse it for having feelings you can’t squash. “Oh” you say softly as he opens your bedroom door for you, following you inside and closing the door.

You sit on your bed and look down at your bandaged hands, they were semi dirty and could probably be changed but you’d do that when he leaves. “I’m sorry Vulcan. If I didn’t come to you this wouldn’t have happened” you feel tears well up in your eyes so you screw them shut. He takes one step and kneels down in front of you, he takes your hands gently in one of his and with the other he cups your cheek “look at me please” he whispers and you swallow before opening your eyes, the tears held behind your eyelids spilling quickly down your cheeks as you meet his soft green eyes.

“I don’t blame you. Not one bit. I think that would have happened regardless. It’s not your fault.” More tears fall from your face and he wipes them away softly before standing and holding your head gently against his lower chest as he hugs you against him.

Your weak hands grip the back of his shirt softly as you cry into his chest, all the Unshed tears and emotions you’ve repressed coming back to you tenfold. When you calm down you pull back, frowning at the wet mark on his shirt.

“Don’t worry about that” he says when he notices what you’re looking at, and he crouches back down. “Yu told me what Lisa did to you before, what she said” you swallow and try to look away from him but he gently tilts your face back to his and you scowl to which he chuckles “you’ve always been so cute when you make that face. I’m glad that hasn’t changed” your breath hitches and he tilts his head slightly, looking at you with a smile before he swallows and continues his thoughts.

“She never should have threatened you, I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about her beating you. I’m sorry for the pain she has caused you” his eyes are so genuine you feel your throat constrict with feelings again.

You clear your throat and nod once, trying to stave off the second wave of tears you feel coming. Sure, she beat you, she threatened you, she caused you and Vulcan pain. But the way he looked at her in the kitchen, he truly cares about her, and you’ll do anything to make sure he’s happy.

“We have to save her Vulcan. I know she hates me, she made that 100% clear. But no one deserves to be hurt like that. No one deserves to be tortured and brainwashed” his eyes widen “youd, you’d do that? You’d save her? After everything she’s done?” His voice was quiet and you took a moment, looking deep into his brilliant eyes before you say “yes. I know she means a lot to you. For you, V. I’ll save her for you”

The knock at your door makes you jump before chuckling softly “come in” you say and Maki sticks her head through the door “dinner is on the table” she says with a smile and you smile back “thank you Maki, we’ll be right there”

Your conversation was put on hold as he helped you from your bed. He keeps his hand on your middle back as you walk, guiding you down to the dining room, smelling dinner in the air makes your stomach rumble.

Before you all dig in, Obi makes an announcement. “Y/n, we’d like you to debrief us tomorrow morning, tell us anything that is important that you’ve learned at the third.” you nod“you got it, Captain.” He nods and looks at the rest of the table “We had Captain Hibana from the Fifth and Lieutenant Konro from the Seventh as well as Hinawa share information earlier today which we will also go over tomorrow” He smiles “that’s all guys. Dig in” you take a bite and physically moan from how delicious it is, your eye catching the smirk from the lieutenant who cooked this meal.

After dinner the three girls walk you back to your room “you grew up with Vulcan?” Tamaki asks and you smile “yeah! our parents were friends and he was my closest friend growing up. I uh kinda ruined it when I left him. He didn’t want to find out the truth and I had to. But now that I know more I regret it.” Iris places her hand in your shoulder and Maki frowns “are you in love with him?” Maki asks softly and you hum softly, your heart cracking, “yes…. ” It takes everything in you to have your voice not crack and you swallow hard before you continue

Vulcan rounds the corner, going to check on you and bring you some water. He smiles when he sees you girls in front of him and freezes when he hears your voice “but now he’s just an old friend.” He watches you three disappear into your room and then turns, walking away, the pain in his chest just barely below the pain of when you left him.

(Skippity bippity )

They brought Lisa back, she’s in terrible shape and she pretty much kept to her and Vulcan's room. The fact that they are sharing a room makes jealous bile rise in your throat. You weren’t there when they rescued her, too wounded and shaky to go so you stayed back at the compound, doing paperwork and worrying.

When they got back Vulcan took Lisa to his room and he’s been camped outside the door for the most part but last you saw he wasn’t. So you did your thing and gave them space, heading to bed right after dinner.

Around midnight you wake up and you just know you won’t be able to sleep, your brain feels too awake, so you decide on tea.

You roll out of your bed slowly, your bruises and bones have healed a little but they still hurt when you move. you throw a blanket over your shoulders and open your bedroom door.

On your way to the kitchen you pass Vulcan’s door, pausing for a moment, thinking about knocking, but decide against it, you didn’t want to accidentally wake Lisa just to talk to him, as bad as you wanted to talk to him, it’s not your place. the only sound is your bare feet against the hard floor as you walk away.

You make yourself a cup of tea and head to the common room, sitting in the middle of one of the comfy sofas and looking out the window on the opposite wall. After a few moments you close your eyes and hold your warm mug in your hands, focusing on the warmth of the tea as you wait for your medication to kick in.

You hear someone’s feet and your eyes open just as someone bursts through the door and you gasp before you realize who it is. The lights flick on “Vulcan what the fuck?” you mumble and your eyes shut tight, one of your hands covering your eyes. “y/n?” Vulcan asks, his voice worried and his breath coming in pants “I. I went to the bathroom and passed your room and it was empty. I was worried but the more rooms I checked the more you weren’t in..” he’s talking with his hands when you crack open your eyes looking through your fingers, his facial expression was semi-embarrassed.

“I thought you were gone again” he finishes with a whisper and you open your eyes all the way, a small smile on your lips. “Would you mind turning off the light? And then coming and sitting by me?” He nods and turns back, the lights going off and him sitting by you in just a few seconds.

“I'm not going to leave you again” you whisper, leaning your head against his shoulder as you feel your pill kick in. “Not unless you asked me to. No matter if anyone threatens me. No matter what. I hope you don’t mind that” you finish and he sighs, relief pooling in his bones. “I don’t mind” he whispers back and leans his head against yours, pulling some of your blanket from your lap on to his.

It feels weird to have it be so easy with him still, like no time had passed.

You take a sip of your tea that empties your cup and you set it on the empty seat to you and then turn farther into Vulcan, you couldn’t resist the warmth of his body and the pain in your bones. “Remember when pops caught us kissing when we were 12?”

He chuckles, his arm coming around you to hold you gently to his chest “he scared me so bad I never kissed you again”

you laugh “I’m glad I got to give my first kiss to someone I trust”

he closes his eyes “why are you talking about this now?”

“I thought about the time we fell asleep on the couch after you showed me the animals for the first time. The same couch you asked to kiss me on” you sigh into him, your body relaxing more

He chuckles again “pops found us then too. He took a picture.”

You lean up quickly and meet his eye with a smile “he did?! I bet that was adorable”

He smiles “of course. We’re cute kids. I’ll grab it next time I go back there”

Your smile falters as you feel your eyes burn “V, I really missed you” you whisper and he pauses for a moment, his eyes searching yours before he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

It only lasts a few seconds but your whole world feels like it’s stopped. Your mind was melting as fireworks ran down your spine. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to yours. “But. But youre with Lisa” you whisper and he pulls back swiftly to look at you “what? no she’s like a kid sister. Gross” You look away from his eyes, feeling embarrassed. “You called me just your old friend after I told you I love you then she threatened me about taking someone she loves, and I haven’t talked to you in two days since we got her back, which that one is understandable but I kinda just assumed you were together”

“I’m sorry. I got scared. I wanted to kiss you then. But I was scared you’d leave me. I didn’t want to tell you I loved you for you to leave me again” your eyes widened as you look swiftly back to his eyes, his green ones shining in the light from the window. “What?” You ask quietly and he smiles, cupping your cheek “I love you” he says and you lean forward, pressing your lips to his.

The flash of a camera is what wakes you, followed by the sound of Viktor’s and Iris’s giggles. “Good morning sleepy heads” he said, stretching out the word good. “Breakfast is ready” Iris says and Viktor hands you the picture that popped out of his instant camera and walking away.

“Hi” he says when your eyes meet and you smile “come on, let’s eat and make a plate for Iris. Maybe she won’t hate me when she gets better” he laughs and helps you up gently, pulling you to his chest and kissing the top of your head. “I can’t tell you how much i love that you’re such a forgiving person. And that you believe me even after what she’s put you and us through '' you sigh softly, you kind of wanted to hate her but you just.. Couldnt. You believed in Vulcan and what he’s told you about her. “I trust you V. even if i don’t trust her, even if that’s just for right now, i’ll always trust you” he kisses the top of your head and then takes your hand as you begin towards the dining room

You didn’t know how Lisa would act around you now, but the feeling of his hand in yours gives you the confidence that you could work this out. You weren’t alone anymore.

#fire force vulcan joseph #fire force vulcan #vulcan x y/n #vulcan x you #vulcan x reader #vulcan joseph x reader #vulcan joseph x y/n #vulcan joseph x you #fire force fanfiction #fire force #fire force imagines #vulcan request

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ficforce · 4 years ago

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A Good Man Part 1

Hinawa Takehisa x Reader SFW No set timeline New relationship

Y/N froze as she heard Hinawa’s voice behind her, it took her a second to take a deep breath and finish tightening the bolt on the Matchbox before turning stiffly to face the man, “I’m nearly done here, then I’ll get right on the maintenance of equipment.” She figured she was taking too long, Vulcan was their engineer but he had been working on a few projects whilst she covered the regular stuff, “I’ll make sure Captain’s equipment is seen to first and then… I’ll be faster, Lieutenant.” He was always so quiet and he looked so serious all the time that she always felt like she was in trouble.

“I brought you some water,” Hinawa held out a bottle for her, “It’s hot today.” He waited for her to take the water and then examined the inside of the engine, she’d done a great job, “You’re doing fine, Y/N. You’re thorough - No ones as quick as Vulcan. Make sure you take a break…” He knew she was a hard worker, he also knew that she became tense whenever he was near and not in the same way as everyone else. She seemed genuinely nervous of him and Hinawa was bothered by that. “If you fall behind then come and get me, I won’t mind helping.”

She nodded, shifting a little as her tenseness began a cramp in her leg, “S-sure…” The Lieutenant headed out and she let out a sigh of relief, stretching her leg to get rid of the cramp - He always made her so nervous.

“Y/N.”

The woman squealed at the voice and nearly jumped out of her skin. Turning around she realised it was just Obi with a bottle of water, he saw that she had one already and placed it on the side for later, “You alright? Did I scare you?” Obi could help but laugh as she crouched down with her hand on her chest, she looked like a startled owl, “I guess Hinawa was here,” he got down to her level and pat her head sympathetically, “You really like him, huh?”

“…No…” It was a lie. Y/N had the biggest crush on the man, he was pretty serious but that’s what she liked most. He seemed kind of scary but in truth, he was a kind man. He had scouted her from Company 3 after seeing her in action, he had said he was impressed with the ways she worked and thought on her feet. She wasn’t powered and that made some of Company 3 look down on her, moving to Company 8 was a no brainer. And with the way Captain Giovanni was, she got out just in time.

“As long as it doesn’t interfere with work and missions then I don’t mind,” The Captain gave her a reassuring grin and stood back up, “Hang in there, Y/N”

She gave a smaller sigh and nodded, “Thank you, Captain.”

— -

Somehow she had ended up in the kitchen with Hinawa, they hadn’t spoken other than about food preparation, she sliced the carrots in quick, precise cuts, making short work of them and then started on the spring onions. “You’re very adept at that.” Hinawa had to admit he was impressed with how well she cooked, he realised he needed more ingredients and lightly touched Y/N’s waist as he passed her, it had been an innocent touch purely to let her know he was going to move behind her but her sudden gasp made him pause. The man looked over her shoulder and his eyes widened as he saw blood, “Here,” Hinawa took her wrist and led Y/N to the sink, washing the cut before wrapping a towel around it and applying pressure.

Y/N tensed up as he treated her, if this was her old Company they would be mocking her. Company 8 wasn’t like that, they were kind and it really felt as if they wouldn’t judge her like her old Company. Hajima and Company 3 were heavily affiliated, powerful fire users and engineers made up the bulk of it - she was an engineer and made up the numbers in her squad. “I’m sorry, Lieutenant Hinawa…”

“I startled you, it’s not your fault.” He pulled the towel away to examine the cut, “A bandage should take care of this.” Hinawa’s hand encircled her wrist and he made to pull the sleeve of her orange jumpsuit up. That was when she yanked her hand away and held it close to her chest, cradling it protectively.

“What’s going on?” Maki came into the kitchen and rushed to Y/N when she saw she was bleeding, “We need to wrap that up, come on.” The woman led her out of the kitchen, neither noticing that Hinawa’s eyebrows had drawn together and he looked down at the towel in his hand with a crestfallen expression. Was he really that frightening to her?

He had really admired how she had taken control of the scene a few months ago, she hadn’t been one of the firefighters at the frontline but she had been quick to direct people and had been more compassionate than anyone else in her Company when speaking with the Infernal’s family. She was happy to help Vulcan with maintenance and fixed the smaller things so that the other man could create new equipment for them. She just didn’t like him… at all. She couldn’t even stand for him to touch her.

“…Y/N.”

— -

“Lieutenant!” Y/N yelled and threw him his gun, the mission was getting out of hand and she was trying to help where she could. Captain Obi was knocked out cold, she had been trying to bring him around when the gun had landed close by, the Infernal had gotten close enough to land a hit on the Lieutenant before Arthur had knocked it back. Y/N didn’t check to see if Hinawa had caught it, the shooting was proof enough. “Come on, Captain… get a hold of yourself!” She let out a yell as a fire ignited close by, a spark must have landed in the spilt engine oil, “Obi! Wake up!” The fire crept toward them and Y/N began to panic, she smacked Obi’s cheek and yelled his name, “Damn it!” The woman grabbed his arm and began to drag him away from the flames - He was so heavy!

She ran for the Matchbox a few yards away and pulled out an extinguisher, aiming it at the fire she let loose to douse it. It didn’t seem to help as it spread further and was soon lapping at her feet, the heat could be felt through her uniform and she stumbled backwards, trying to get away from it. Y/N fell on her ass and scrabbled backwards - it was too close! She needed to get Obi away from there but she was glued to the spot, her muscles had seized and her throat felt as if it had closed up. The loud hiss of the extinguisher made her jump, Obi’s tall figure staggered in front of her and he blasted out the flames before they could make it any further. He dropped the canister once it was empty and turned to Y/N, the blood from his head had stopped and he was a little woozy but the man knelt beside her to check her over, “Y/N? Are you alright? Take a breath…” Obi could see she was beginning to hyperventilate, she was shaking all over, “It’s okay. We got this, Y/N.”

At some point he had put her in the passenger side of the Matchbox, she wasn’t quite sure how long she was there until someone got into the driver’s seat and the vehicle moved as the rest of the team got into the back - Was it over?

“Y/N, look at me.” It was Hinawa, of course, it just had to be him. “Y/N!”

The woman flinched at his demanding tone and she looked at him. He didn’t seem mad at her, he didn’t look any different than usual, his serious, wide-eyed expression seemed the same as always… perhaps she was imagining the softer look in his gaze than usual though.

“It’s over, you’re okay and so is everyone else. Just breathe, if you need to get out for a moment then that’s okay too.” Hinawa glanced over her shoulder as Obi opened the passenger side door to check-in.

Obi placed his hand on her shoulder to offer comfort and recoiled as she jerked away from the touch, “Woah… It’s just me, Y/N…” She wasn’t her usual self at all, usually, she was fine on missions and kept a cool head - Then again she was never this close to the action. “It was a pretty close call, right? You saved me from getting burnt up -”

“I wanna go home…” Y/N sobbed, “I wanna go home to base, I don’t wanna… Please, can we go home, Captain?”

“Sure…”

— -

She didn’t really speak to anyone when they go back, she ran for the showers and was done before any of the other women caught up with her. On her way back to her room she ran into Arthur and Shinra, they asked after her but didn’t pry, their concern made her feel a little better and she thanked them shyly before she kept going. No one brought it up during dinner and it wasn’t until training the next day that Obi and Hinawa called her into the office.

That terrified her, she was going to be fired, they were going to send her back to the 3rd.

Hinawa sat in the corner with his clipboard and Obi had set his chair up opposite the one she would sit in, he wasn’t using his desk to put space between them. When she sat down she couldn’t help but make herself as small as possible and subconsciously held her breath. “Y/N,” Obi began softly, “Why didn’t you mention it before? We could have avoided putting you in that position.”

“It…It’s not a big deal.” She murmured and glanced at Hinawa, “I’m a fire soldier, it… I just, I mean…” Her hands fisted on her lap, “It won’t happen again! I’m sorry!”

Hinawa let out a sigh from the corner and she felt like he had yelled, she didn’t want to lose his respect, Hinawa had given her this opportunity. “I should have been more thorough when investigating you, I knew that you had been injured on duty but I didn’t look into the specifics - I wanted you.” After a beat, he added, “In the 8th.” He leaned his forearms on his knees, he had put her in this position after all, “It’s a big deal, you caught fire and were burned badly enough that you had to take a year off in hospital to recover. I have an immunity to flames, I don’t get burnt in the same way you or the Captain might. It hurts like hell, right? I’m in awe that you go out there and are as compassionate as brave as you are, most people wouldn’t be able to get that close to fire after what happened to you, let alone help others.”

“You were never meant to be that close to the action, Y/N.” Obi said, “You were there because you were trying to save my life. I’ll keep training so that I don’t put any of my team through that again. If you need some time…”

Y/N wiped her eyes on her sleeve, she didn’t want to cry in front of them, she took a deep breath and then looked Obi in the eye, determination on her face, “I’ll keep training too! I don’t need time, I just need to try harder, Captain!” Standing up, Y/N then looked at Hinawa, “I love it here, I was really happy when you said you wanted me, Lieutenant… in the 8th…” She didn’t want this to change how they treated her, “I’ll get better so please, please keep supporting me as before!”

“We should get to training then.” Hinawa said as he stood up, “I think this meeting is over, right, Captain?” Obi nodded and smiled, reaching over to ruffle Y/N’s hair a little, “Y/N, let’s go.”

“Yes, Sir!”

#hinawa takehisa #reader #fire force #burns

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vexedtonightmares · 4 years ago

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hey :) do you mind sharing some more about the skam austin panel today?

yeah for sure!! i’ll put what i remember under the keep reading tab for ppl who wanna hear about it :) i only went to the panel, not the rewatch (bc money lmao) so there are probably some other things they talked about that i missed, but i’m sure there are other ppl on here that can fill you in on any gaps that i miss!

it was valeria (jo), julie (megan), and lakeisha* (shay), and pedro (p jo) on the panel (he was the moderator, the other three did most of the talking), though they did mention other castmates throughout :,)

*lakeisha was the name they went by on the panel, and in the info before the panel it said they use they/them pronouns, so that’s how i’ll be referring to them throughout this

all of them started out by talking about what they’re doing currently, julie said she’s dropping out of school because her therapist told her “you as a person matters more than you as a student” which i thought was a great sentiment as well

lakeisha said they’ve been making a lot of clothes and music (also throughout the whole thing they kept showing us their shoes and they left to pee like halfway through something they were answering one time hfjskaj)

they then talked about their audition processes (val had the most chaotic series of audtions omg i would love to see her audition tapes)

val originally read for either jo or megan, and she had literally just moved there like right before casting and almost didn’t go to her audition

she said that she decided to be the loudest person in the room so that they couldn’t ignore her, and that carried her through most of the rounds of auditioning

she said that at the end she said “if you don’t choose me, which you should choose me, but if you don’t, please choose another latinx actress because you have no idea how much it means to see someone who looks like you on screen”

julie auditioned because she was hoping julie (andem) would bring lisa and tarjei and she basically wanted a free meet and greet djkfshk

she found out about skam og on tumblr !! she’s one of us 😌

she thinks julie andem is the coolest person in the world

they told her that she was pretty much everything they envisioned megan to be, so they cast her fairly early on and then had her partner with the marlon prospects

giovanni, who eventually played tyler, auditioned for marlon and they kissed during their audition even though they weren’t supposed to

julie went to high school with till who ended up playing marlon and people would always ask her what it was like to get to make out with him and she was just like .... we just working bruh

lakeisha found the ad to audition on instagram and decided why not because it said it was a paid job

they looked up a bunch of improv games the night before because they had no experience and had no idea what they were doing

in the audition julie asked what the tattoos on their hand meant (and also the one thing lakeisha was excited about being out of contract was that they could get as many tattoos as they wanted without asking for permission)

they all had a lot of love for julie andem and loved working with her

val said that she’d always try to make julie laugh and she said that julie is the reason og and austin are so good, because it’s her story and her vision

they roasted the shit out of fb too (as they should)

basically fb ghosted them and never renewed the show but also never cancelled it so technically they don’t even know if anyone else could get the rights to reboot the show somewhere else (lakeisha said ‘skam austin onlyfans’ lmao)

i don’t remember which one of them said it but they said fb is like an inconsistent dad lollll

they also think that fb sort of finessed julie/her team because they were under the impression that it would be like og where they had their own website for the show and everything, but then it ended up just being a facebook page

they also filmed promo for season 1 that never ended up being used but they don’t know why

lakeisha felt super disrespected by the fact that not only did they not get their season, but also the fact that they just dropped the show like it was nothing and none of them even found out that they probably weren’t getting more seasons until they saw that their instagram accounts were gone

everyone was upset about the igs getting deleted too because they put so much work into the content on there for it all to just disappear

val said “no one tells a story like the one that was about to be told” and everyone agreed

val said that if the show would have continued, jo would have been undocumented and they would have shown her trying to navigate college (not only were we robbed of a jo season, we were robbed of college seasons 😤)

jo x jo were definitely going to be a thing

val said that when they wrapped s2 she was like finally!!! because now they could get into the stories that they really wanted to tell and really knew would make a difference (everyone vehemently agreed)

they were proud of the fact that they’re the most diverse cast and that they don’t just treat the characters of color like sidekicks like the other remakes do

julie talked about how skam france was the only remake to have jonas not accept isak right away when he was coming out and how it was suspicious that he happened to be the only non white jonas and that was the choice they made

val said that druck is the only remake she’s watched but she likes it

they also talked about how, even though it’s great that the cast was so diverse, practically everyone behind the scenes was white

val said that she didn’t really think about it much at the time because she found it hard to speak up since she was very young and inexperienced but looking back she wishes jo’s body wasn’t so fetishized as a latina (she didn’t clarify whether she was talking on a production level or within the fandom, but she talked about costuming so i assumed she meant more on a production level)

they all wished there was more representation off screen as well as on

shay x megan was brought up and julie said that shay was going to have her own love interest (am!even !!!!) come season three, and that it wouldn’t have been megan

she also said that megan was mostly just confused and like ‘haha i kiss girls when i’m drunk’ but then she also said that megan and shay never had feelings for each other at the same time so 👀

she was upset that they made megan and marlon get back together at the end of season 2 because she wasn’t a fan of them together, but she said it also makes sense because a lot of teen girls go back to their toxic exes even when they know it’s not good for them

lakeisha said that they hated shay’s acrylic nails because it didn’t make sense to them for her to have them (especially since shay was a musician)

they also said that they’ve been pretty confident and open with their sexuality since they were around 12, and that one time in middle school they dated a boy because he had an xbox and then they were like oh no is this toxic am i using him because he actually has feelings for me?? hdskafja

they also said that the cfgc music happened because they heard that the boys from og also had a song and at first i was like wtf are they talking about but now i think they meant the penetrator song 💀💀

julie has a cfgc shirt :,) and they all stole a bunch of clothes and stuff from set, val said she took a bunch of outfits that jo never wore which makes her sad to think about now

val’s favorite scene to film was the car scene in s1 before the party (she said it was one of the best moments of her life) and julie said she liked that one as well (val said there’s a shot of her looking into the camera and flipping it off but they didn’t include it in the show, i feel robbed)

people asked how it felt for lakeisha to be the first lesbian isak and they said that they didn’t feel like they were, because they didn’t really get the chance :(( but they also said that the idea itself was very intimidating and there was a lot of pressure around it

they also said that they and gio were very very close both on screen and off, they said it wasn’t even like they were an extension of one person, that’s how close they got

there were a lot of improvised scenes, particularly with val, and she also said that incorporating spanish into jo’s dialogue was mostly improvised

julie, val, and pedro also all talked about how they’re all mexican, and how each of their life experiences vary so much from one another, on the show and off and julie said megan’s upbringing was a lot like hers

they all also said that they liked the music the show used and a lot of them have emotional attachments to a lot of the songs

val said she wishes they used more frank ocean and i agree

they also said they’re not sure if there are bloopers or anything, but they’d love to see them if there are

i’m trying to think of anything i missed ahhh i feel like they talked about so much but i think i’ve got the key points soooo

that’s all !!! hope this was interesting to ppl who still care about austin like i do :,))

#skam austin #asks

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luverofralts · 3 years ago

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Post Arkhelios

Kamalani Bellamy was a woman surrounded by secrets, none of which she felt particularity inclined to share with other people. Her sudden divorce of Omar had left him stunned, but he really should have seen it coming. He was a boring, unobservant man who didn’t understand the first thing about Arkhelios. Her only regret about the whole divorce was leaving Roman with him, and his insufferable father. Look at how that had turned out. Her son was missing and was apparently about to have a child of his own with a completely unacceptable person. If only she could have returned to Arkhelios sooner, this whole mess may have been avoided. As it was now, things would be incredibly difficult to right again.

She was certain that Omar was just as ignorant of Roman’s location as she was, but it didn’t hurt to see if Roman was desperate enough to reach out to his father. People did many stupid things when they were desperate.

The last thing in the world Omar expected to see at his door was his ex-wife. Kamalani had left him and Roman without any explanation, and made it clear that she wouldn’t be contacting him again. She hadn’t even told Roman how to contact her, which had only made the distance between Omar and his son widen. Roman blamed him for the divorce, and Kamalani hadn’t exactly made it easy for Omar to disprove that.

“Where is our son?” Kamalani demanded, not even bothering with a greeting before launching into an attack on him. “How could you let him be with a Helios of all families? How have you not ended this whole affair?”

“Hi to you too,” Omar grumbled. “Roman is a big boy now, who can make his own decisions about his life. Maybe if you stuck around for more than a day or two you could see that.” He stepped closer to the door so he was out of earshot of Wbuna. “Where have you even been? Don’t say an art show because we all know that’s just code for trying to hit on people like my little brother.”

Kamalani rolled her eyes.

“Roman is a minor, and he very clearly needs some authority in his life,” she snapped. “When I end this whole pregnancy drama, don’t expect to see him again anytime soon. I won’t let you and Salem continue to lead my son astray.”

With that said, Kamalani snapped her fingers and disappeared in a ball of smoke, leaving Omar completely bewildered.

“Like you had any plans to ever come back here,” he muttered angrily to himself. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but it’s got nothing to do with concern for Roman. You left him just as easily as you left me.”

Roman was still missing after being separated from Abe, but Omar had several toddlers crawling around to worry about. His parents had been the ones signing up Roman for schools and taking him shopping for clothes while Omar grieved his marriage, and he was happy to let them try to clean up the mess Roman had made on their watch. Especially if Kamalani was now suspiciously involved.

Today had been one of the greatest days of Kaeileen’s young life. Not only had she secured the most scandalous story of the year, her breaking the story had completely ruined Roman’s plans to run off with Abe. Now she was the hero that prevented the Helios family from the pain of not knowing where their son would have run off to. She finally had the spotlight at school, and if she also got to kick Roman while he was already down in order to keep that spotlight, then the next few weeks were going to be great.

Her grandfather Giovanni wasn’t thrilled that she seemed to be enjoying this scandal a little too much, and said so to her. No amount of parental disappointment would bring Kaeileen down. Not with a victory like this.

Her grandmother had been the same amount of worried and disappointed in Kaeileen as Giovanni. The Bellamys and Helioses were powerful enemies to make, especially when their children were threatened. For the next week, Kaeileen would be grounded, and forced to write Elaine and whoever was in charge of that Bellamy boy this week a sincere apology for her actions. The last thing Emilia needed in her life was Malika Bellamy causing a scene, and Salem aggressively reviewing any bylaws the Rivales family factories may be breaking. It wasn’t good business to anger the loudest voice on city council, no matter what his grandson was up to.

“That was really mean what you did to Abe and Roman,” Pia chided. Her niece was usually troubled, but her enjoyment over the suffering of fellow students crossed a line. As usual, Kaeileen was only thinking of herself. It was all she and her gossip hungry cohorts did.

Kaeileen opened her mouth to throw insults at Pia, but was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise. Was someone’s phone on vibrate? Where was it coming from?

Kaeileen screamed as a swarm of insects surrounded her.

“What’s happening?? Oh my god!”

The swarm had become so thick with bugs, it was impossible to see Kaeileen’s body. Her screaming had brought every member of the household into the room to see what was happening.

It was a horrific sight to behold. Eventually the screaming stopped. All that remained of Kaeileen was a pile of dust heaped upon a strange red marking that had been burned into the floor.

Watching the gruesome death of his granddaughter had been too much for Giovanni to handle. As Pia and Emilia attempted to pull themselves together, Giovanni collapsed on the floor next to Kaeileen’s ashes, the victim of a trauma induced heart attack.

What was Pia supposed to do in this situation? Did she call the police? She wasn’t sure Melvin Hydes had the ability to arrest a swarm of bugs for murder. What was the strange seal burned into the floor?

Emilia was the next to drop onto the floor, and Pia was at her side in moments, ready to preform CPR should her mother suffer a heart attack as well. Jolanda was already on the phone with the emergency response line, and another suspicious death case would soon be arriving on Melvin’s desk.

When Jolanda hung up the phone, she immediately started coughing again. She had been feeling better that morning, but like clockwork, she became reinfected again that night.

#ts2 #sims 2 #arkhelios #post arkhelios #tw: death #rivales family #kamalani bellamy

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thewilddreamerrr · 5 years ago

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Skam Italia Review

The intro. So fucking good and spot on. I loved it

Ele not being around, just having a blast with Edo is *chef kiss*

I squealed when I saw the boys, but specially Marti. I missed my son😭

Also... what's in that drawer Marti??? SHARE WITH CLASS!!!

Elia confessing to Sana was... surprising but cute? Idk I thought he looked like a puppy there and it was sweet. Also his fuffly hair melt meeee

I saw someone idk who sorry call the ballon!squad, the rose!squead and that's official now, they all cute, funny and I would die for them

Marti and Sana. That's it.

Malik you're a sweetheart and we're thrilled to have you

Marti and Robbe said earing rights and i respect that

Filo being everybody’s adopted dad lol

Malik x Sana flirt, man it felt so natural, and the religious conversation was also so good, Malik expressing his lost of faith for what happened to Luai

Sana starting to feel left out💔

AND blocking malik (i don’t want these meme)

Ele, even in the distance, she’s still the voice of reason, my beautiful lovely girl

I’m in love with Rami, damn

‘‘Somebody that i used to know’‘ brought me back to my 16 year old self and i appreciate that. And the use of that song during that moment Nico x Luai saw each other after so long, poetic cinema y’all

Btw Luai i give you 5 stars on booking because you’re a walking dessert my man

Jelous!Marti got me all hot and bother not gonna lie it might be the fact that i have an undying crush on Fede but oh well but i’m also pissed as fuck because of the fight goddammit

Gio x Elia created a band?? YESS

the Eva x Fede moment while Gio watched from afar. Why must you hurt me this way?

THE JANITOR!!! i love that guy

.......Marti did what now?

i never thought there would be a time when an Isak would broke up with an Even. THE NERVE RAMETTA

oh fuck Luai💔💔 But also the fact that he’s openly gay with his friends and even has a boyfriend?? the power that has has-

quarantine mood: Marti laying on the couch with a pizza box on his chest, sulking while Filo calls him out on his bullshit

Sana x Marti chillng, watching movies, eating junk food? yes and thank you

THEIR TALKKK

Marti calling himself her best friend, i won’t argue against that (and neither did Sana thank god)

‘‘Marti’s bisexual’‘ lol as if

Sana’s audio made me sob fuckkk

Bracciano, the solution to everything

Federica snapped and it was glorious. Girls united once again (i love how they handled the whole girl drama)

Marti... for fuck’s sake gO KISS YO MANS

AAAAAHHH THE MESSAGESSSS

let Nico eat his cake in peace

oh,,, OH HIDE AND SEEK SO NICO CAN FIND MARTI!!! i want friends like them *sobs*

Gio’s answer to everything: throw them in a room and lock the door

....damn fede....

well at least this served as a motivation to get her shit together and study harder

Malik’s going to france to visit a cousin... as in... Sofiane maybe??

Malik-ism. Where do i fucking sign?

I love the fact that all the Yousefs are sweet cinnamon rolls to good for this world, bless their hearts

now ep 10 wooooh

Luchino the artist. i like it

oh god. OH MY GOD I SAW SILVIA’S BOOB WTF

Silvia’s dad can suck my nonexistant dick for calling her fat jeez

‘‘I’ve been waiting for two years. Get in line’‘ - Giovanni Garau, ladies and gentlemen

Federica is really out there trying her best I LOVE HER!!!1!

FILO DOING A HIV TEST👏👏

holy fuck when it gave negative i started crying, i can’t even imagine his relief

i’m so glad Filo has someone like Ele as his sis, i breath for them🧡

okay, Niccolo still uses that tiny brick as a phone, good for him

i always loved that scene in the OG when Even calms Isak down, i’m happy they brough it up here

lol the girls vandalized the wrong car😅🤣

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

no emma don’t ruin this god

....so public sex huh?

They ended it how it started with Eva x Gio, nice circle closure

I loved the season what can I say

This got longer than expected lol

#skam italia #skam italia spoilers #idk why i did this but *shrug*

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years ago

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {30}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 5.9K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 30: This One You’ll Remember

-Vixen-

“We haven’t jogged together in months,” Nexus announced while you zipped past another clearing of trees.

“Yeah, the restaurant has been taking all my attention and time.”

“Not just the restaurant,” Nex added. You eyed her as a warning not to start.

You’d decided on jogging because you needed the distraction needed to feel some form of control over something and loved the freedom you felt. Everyone in your life joked all the time the reason you loved jogging so much was that you were a gypsy at heart and loved to drift. Your mother said you had a free soul like your grandmother, who went her whole life bouncing from place to place, relationship to relationship until she found one man, but they drifted together. She’d told you at a young age that the only way you’d be happy in life is if you were able to keep your freedom and find a man who would either tame that desire for freedom or compliment it with his own love of it. Your response to this was, “No one will ever tame me; I’m the master of my destiny, captain of my fate.” Events of the last three years had really begun to make you question if, in fact, fate and destiny were the masters of you.

“Let’s take a breather up ahead,” Nex suggested.

After another half mile, you stopped and leaned against a tree. Nearby the sight of the sky caught your eye, and you slowly walked to it. After a few feet, you stepped beyond the last trees to the top of a cliff.

“Holy shit!” Nexus appeared beside you, then her jaw dropped.

“Wow.”

Before you was blue sky and as far as the eye could see tops of full, green trees and further was a body of water. You weren’t sure if it were a lake, river, or the ocean itself. All you knew was that it was breathtaking.

“This is incredible.” You nodded in agreement with your sister.

“Makes you just wanna relocate, huh.” Your head snapped to Nex and narrowed your eyes.

“Nope!”

Walking off back into the woods, she followed.

“Still mad at Chris for last night?”

“No, I was never mad.” She nodded and allowed the silence to stretch.

“How are things going with Anthony?”

Nexus’ smile lit up the entire forest, and you couldn’t help but smile. “Good.”

“Just good? Nex, you’re dating your celebrity crush. Your celebrity crush is head over heels for you. That has to be better than good.”

She smiled wider, and you could feel the giddy energy radiating off of her.

“He’s great Vix, but I don’t want to talk about it, especially with what you’re going through.”

“What am I going through?”

“Everything. Chris’ family, integrating two families to possibly make a third, having to be around him while everything between you is still so—confusing.”

You shook your head — "Nex stop. Okay yes, things have been—complicated lately, and I do have a lot going on, but when don’t I. No matter what is going on with me and in my life you are still my sister. It has always been you and me against the world, and that will never change. We can talk about your happiness and all of it because you winning and being happy makes me so happy.” Nexus studied you for a few moments then nodded.

“Even if you’re not really happy, happy?” You knew what she meant and shook your head after a few seconds of adjustment and trying to hide any effects of her words.

“I’m fine, honey,” you smiled warmly and took her hand, hoping this was enough of a reassurance. Looking at her, you knew she saw right through you. Knew she was not buying anything you were selling. Looking away you continued walking. “Plus, there is nothing confusing about anything. My kid’s father is in her life now, boom end of it.”

“Vix--,” Nexus began before you cut her off.

“Tell me about things with you and Anthony.” She smiled widely again then finally caved.

She told you how much they had in common, how sweet and considerate he was. When she confessed to you that they talked at least three times a day and were always the last call of the day, you couldn’t help but release an audible sigh. She beamed when she spoke about him, and you could tell she was in love. Without warning you pulled her into a hug.

“What’s this for?”

“I’m so happy for you, Nex. I am so, so happy for you. You deserve nothing but happiness.” She hugged you back, and the two of you stood there surrounded by trees and nature just hugging each other. Soon Nexus pulled away and sniffled.

“Don’t make it weird, you’re making it weird,” she said as she wiped her eyes.

“You’re making it weird; I’m not making it weird.” You wiped your eyes as well and took a breath.

“I know you hate my advice Vix--.”

You snorted. “I don’t hate your advice. I hate when you’re right with that advice,” you corrected. Nexus laughed, which made you laugh as well.

“You love being right and in control. Maybe you need to embrace not having all the answers and the chaos it brings. Maybe through losing control, will you see how rightly wrong you are.” Nex ran off, leaving you standing there to marinate what she’d just said.

“Did you just give me a fortune cookie riddle? Nex?”

~~~~~~~~

When you made it back to the house and took a shower, it was nearing two in the afternoon. The knock at your door brought you out of all your thoughts. When you opened it there he stood holding a towel wrapped beaming Ella.

“Pool.” Chris smiled then nodded. You shook your head. “All right come on little mermaid. Let’s get you in a bath.”

You walked out of your room and to her room. When you got inside her ensuite bathroom, you began filling the tub while looking for the bubble bath mixture she loved.

“Can you grab a fresh towel, please?” Chris nodded and put Ella on the bathroom sink before he walked out.

After getting her undressed, you placed her into the sea of mounting bubbles. As you did Ella squealed with joy. When Chris returned, she shouted for him, and a broad smile spread across his face. You placed her toys into the bath just as Chris was turning to leave.

“Da-da tay, gwive bat.”

Chris looked at you to find out what he should do. You motioned for him to go ahead and slid on top of the bathroom counter. Chris hesitated but approached the tub where you’d laid out everything needed.

“Pway fuwst, I awiel oo ewic.” She held up her ariel and Eric dolls, and he took one.

You sat there and watched them reenact most of the movie, songs included, and just shook your head. You couldn’t tell who was enjoying themselves more. It was still insane to think about how alike they were. It was like two peas in a pod. When they reenacted the final battle between Ursala, their eyes turned to you.

“What?”

“We kinda need someone to play Ursala,” Chris informed. Your jaw dropped.

“Are you saying you want me to play the evil sea witch? Of all the other roles, like Ariel’s umpteen sisters, even the darn blowfish that blows his horn, the sea witch is what I came to mind for?”

Chris smiled as Ella giggled. “Please.”

Ella then joined in, “Pweese mama.” You looked between them and shook your head as you hopped off the counter to sit at the side of the tub. You then began the scene and gave it your all. You and Chris fake battled using the dolls as weapons, and Ella clapped and laughed the entire time watching the live-action movie. When Chris delivered the final blow you exaggerated the pain and proceeded to the death scene that you dragged out until you were laid across the bathroom floor. Ella clapped wildly, and Chris closed the show with a deep bow.

“And they lived happily ever after.”

“Yaaay!” Slowly, you sat up and watched Ella hug Chris. “Da-da, pwince, mine.” You smiled again and thought to yourself how cute they were together.

Once you were back in her room, you sat on her bed, doing her hair as she hummed to some made up song. Chris walked back into the room arms filled with several wet towels. “Floor is dry, and bath is cleaned up. I’m gonna take a shower.” You nodded and watched him walk out, leaving the door open.

“Mama.”

“Yes, princess.”

“I wike da-da.”

“Oh, do you?” She nodded.

“Okay, that’s great, honey.”

“Oo wike da-da?” Your hands stilled, and you thought about her question. What did you say to a two-year-old when they asked if you liked their father? Taking a deep breath, you forged ahead.

“Yes, I like him too. She didn’t speak after that, and you were glad for it; your head was now miles away.

~~~~~~~

-Chris-

She said she liked him. He didn’t mean to hear it. He walked out to put the towels in the laundry but turned back to ask you something, but he didn’t expect to hear those words. Now that he’d heard it he couldn’t forget it. The only thing is he didn’t know exactly what you meant by it. There were many ways you could like someone; there was platonic, characteristically, humanely, brotherly, sexually, romantically. There were too many ways to be wrong. You were incredibly hard to read. You were then, and you still were.

Since he’d found out you were still married, he didn’t know what to do with the information, every day he went back and forth with a decision. One day he thought to tell his legal team to petition to see if the courts would be lenient because of the situation. Then the next he was so close to telling you to see what you wanted. He’d almost told you three times now, and each time he almost did —his heart beat out his chest. He was nervous, scared even. Part of him didn’t want you to want to proceed with the divorce, and the other part said it was the only way. Neither of you knew much about the other. A marriage couldn’t be sustained that way.

When he thought that though he didn’t really believe it, he knew how he felt about you. Knew it wasn’t some whim, hell he even knew he wouldn’t outgrow it. He was now at the point where he wanted to find a way to make things work. He’d gotten everything he’d wanted one night three years ago and spend the next three years missing it, regretting his mistakes, wishing for them. Everything he’d ever wanted was his, and he didn’t want to let it go—not again.

He couldn’t read you to decipher what you felt or didn’t feel, no matter how his mother believed you felt something for him. He couldn’t be sure, and the fact that he wasn’t sure stressed him out. The simplicity of the matter was that you could very well not want anything to do with him, including him with Ella. It scared him. He usually wasn’t a timid guy; he was able to read people better than anyone in his circle and would also be the outgoing one. He was never afraid to approach women or take one home. He was not this guy he was now. He didn’t like the fact that he now second guessed everything he did or said. He didn’t like that he double and triple thought everything when it came to you. It was upsetting, but he couldn’t stop. His instincts were all out of whack; nothing felt normal or like he was used to. You were a complete mind fuck.

He’d thought he could get a better understanding of how you truly felt to make a better decision on what could be possible for the two of you—three of you, but he didn’t know to go about that. Every attempt he’d made thus far has been met with a stern Heisman from you. Every set back further added water to any fire he wanted to believe was still there.

“You look constipated.”

He spun around to see Nexus was sitting on one of the chairs in the backyard. He scoffed and shook his head. “I didn’t see you there.”

“How could you? You were so wrapped up in your head; it was impossible. Everything okay?”

He nodded and released a breath. “Yeah, all good.” Nexus snorted and shook her head.

“You and Vixen are such bad liars. I have always been able to see right through her. You, I’m pleased are very similar.”

“Does uh—does Vixen lie a lot?”

“To herself mainly.” He nodded, thinking about what that meant when compared to everything from the last few months.

“Can I ask you something, Chris?”

“Anything.”

“In this—fairytale storybook, what are you hoping for?”

A few moments passed while he thought about it. “I didn’t start off with any wants—not really.”

“And now? A few months have passed; you’ve been able to grasp things more firmly, settle into them. What do you want? Remember that night in the diner where I told you to figure out what you want. Did you?”

He sighed again and looked back to the woods. “I did.”

“And?”

He was quiet again. “Chris, I promise anything we talk about won’t go back to Vixen or anyone—unless it’s to protect her.”

“Protect her? From me?”

She nodded. “Do you think she needs protecting from me?”

Nexus studied him for several long moments before she spoke. “Until you know what you want—really want, and it proves to be in the best interest of my sister and niece then you’re a wild card. Wild cards carry plenty of destructing power.” He nodded, understanding the context of what she didn’t say.

“I want my daughter; I want to be in her life. I want to be there every step of the way. I want her to know me, and I want to know her. I want—to know her mother—to—to--,” he took a deep breath and blew it out before he continued. “I have no intention of hurting Vixen, Nexus.”

“I believe that, Chris. The thing with the intent not to hurt; we usually unintentionally hurt. I don’t want them hurt. I don’t want it to be proven that it was better having you out of their lives than it was for you to be in them.”

Truthfully, that was one of his fears as well, a very serious and terrifying fear. He already believed you’d been better off without him the last three years, and he didn’t want to think you’d still be that way for the next three years—three decades and beyond.

“I want you to win Chris—I want you both to win.” She smiled warmly, and he knew there was no malic coming from her; she genuinely wanted what was best. Nexus turned and walked away, as she did she spoke one final time. “You know what to do.”

He nodded; he did.

Thirty minutes later, he walked into the family room to see your entire family sitting watching TV. You and Ella were cuddled on the couch with Dodger on the floor beside the couch, with Ella’s hand resting on the top of his head.

“This could be every day, you idiot. This could be your life.”

“I have an idea.” Everyone turned to him, waiting for him to continue. “I was able to get some tickets to a carnival that is in town, and I thought we all could enjoy the day there.”

The grownups looked at each other, but Ella kept looking at the TV.

“Is that—safe, given who you are?” Your father’s inquiry was a valid one. A lot of times, when he went out, he was ambushed, even when he kept a low profile. The difference though was when he was here—home; no one bothered him. When he was here he was simply Chris, not Captain America, not a famous movie star. He was just Chris.

“When I’m here, I’m just a normal guy. No one comes up; a lot of people respect me and let me go about my day. So I’m confident with saying it’s safe.”

“Actually Chris, I have other plans with my husband. So we won’t be able to go,” your mother announced.

“Okay, that’s no problem. Nex?”

“Nexus has plans with us as well. We thought a family day,” she continued. Nexus looked to her, and the two exchanged a look. It was a look he couldn’t decipher, but as quickly as it happened, Nexus looked away.

“Yeah. I can’t wait to spend time with them.” It was then you sat up on the couch as you looked at your sister quizzically.

“That leaves you, Ella and Vixen. What do you say Kristella? Carnival, rides, games, cotton candy, prizes?” Your mother listed off the items, each item was said with way more enthusiasm than necessary. It didn’t take Ella long to stand on the couch and jump up and down.

“Yeah, cawvival, cawvival, candy, wide, yayy!” Dodger began barking, trying to get on his hind legs to lick her.

“Uh, if it’s a family day, mom, shouldn’t I be going with you, dad, and Nex?”

“Vixen, can’t I spend time with my parents without you for once? God, it’s not always about you,” Nexus exclaimed. Your eyes widened, but you didn’t look hurt. You looked distrustful.

“Chop, chop, sooner you leave the more carnival fun,” your mother added while clapping her hands. Ella leaped off the couch and landed on her knees. His heart jumped into his throat as he practically dived to her to check if she were okay. Ella stood brushed off her knees and ran around the room showcasing how fine she was.

“Come on, Vixen, let’s get you changed,” your mother offered.

“Changed? Why can’t I wear what I have on?” Your mother looked you over once and shook her head before ushering you out of the room.

When you came back down twenty minutes later, you were changed, and you looked as gorgeous as ever. The pleased look on your mother's face told him this had been her plan. He scoffed and shook his head. He’d never been set up with his own wife before.

“That’s a first.”

“All right you crazy kids, go enjoy the carnival,” your mother expressed with a smile.

You rolled your eyes and took up your purse. Ella took his hand, and he held on to the bag that was packed for her, and they were off.

Ten minutes into the drive, you snorted and began laughing.

“What?”

“You do realize we were set up, right?” He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I picked up on it with how big your mom’s smile was.” The two of you laughed together, and the awkwardness was gone.

~~~~~~~~

-Vixen-

He looked like he belonged pushing Ella in her stroller with her backpack on his back, and his hat tipped low. He looked like a dad, and it should not have affected you the way that it did. As you looked around the sea of people that were around you at the carnival you saw families of all kinds and even couples, and you wondered if any of their stories were as wild or complex as yours.

“So games, food or rides first?”

“Wide, wide!” You nodded, motioning to Ella.

“Seems like the boss has spoken,” he teased.

The three of you walked around on the hunt for a toddler friendly ride. When you came upon the Merry-Go-Round, you and Chris exchanged a look.

“Merry-Go-Round still your favorite carnival, right?”

Chris smiled widely as he rubbed the back of his neck that was turning a slight shade of pink.

“Sad to say, yeah, hands down,” he responded. You smiled and nodded.

“Then, let’s ride.”

The three of you made it on the platform and walked around in search of the right animal to ride. Ella pointed out a pink unicorn with white flowers at its crown, and Chris nodded. Once he placed her on the unicorn and strapped her in, he climbed onto it behind her and held on to the pole with one hand and her with the other. You chose the black horse that was diagonal from them and strapped up. When you looked back to them Chris’ eyes were looking at your backside. Heat ran through you, and half of you wanted to play it up and poke out your ass some more to give him a better view while the other half wanted to wallow in the embarrassment of the moment.

You looked forward, took a breath, and held on to the pole waiting for the ride to start. Once it did Ella, let out a loud squeal. Looking back, she had the hugest smile on her face as she held on to the pole. Your horse went up her unicorn went down, then vice versa. By the time you made your third go around, she and Chris were laughing and whispering together, and that was your catastrophic moment. The moment that packed the biggest punch. They both looked incredibly happy and so in love with each other. You knew she was better with him in her life, and for the first time you wanted him to be in yours too.

Once you got off, your realization had you quiet and reserved for quite a while. You tried to remain present, tried to push it all from your mind, but every cute moment between them made it that much harder. Every game they played together that Chris helped her with made your heart warm, and every time Ella initiated touching him being a handhold or a lean, your belly did flips. When she initiated a hug, you were thoroughly fucked up. Who knew watching your child with her father could make you feel so much—all the things you’d buried.

Two hours later you had eaten a high amount of cheese, carbs, starch, and ketchup, consumed almost Ella’s body weight in cotton candy, went on nearly every child appropriate ride, allowed Ella to pet and take pictures with the elephants and had a stroller filled with prizes of various sizes.

“You, sir, one try to get this bulb all the way to the top. If you do, you get two prizes.” Chris snorted and shook his head while keeping it down.

“No, thank you.”

“What’s the matter afraid you’ll embarrass yourself striking out sending this three hundred pound bulb up in front of your wife?” He laughed and kept his head down.

“No, not afraid,” he confessed.

“Then let’s see it, Superman.” The game controller held out the mallet to him. Chris looked to you, and you smirked.

“Do it da-da.”

“All right, the little princess has spoken,” Chris joked. You bent and lifted Ella as Chris took the mallet and prepared to slam it down. He looked up at the bulb and to the game controller.

“Three hundred pounds, huh.”

The game controller nodded with a smug look on his face; “Whenever you’re ready,” the game controller encouraged.

Chris lifted his arms and his shirt rose just above his navel and the sliver of skin, and muscle had you ready to touch. Chris grunted as he slammed the mallet down. The sound was sexy, and your desire level rose exponentially. The bulb shot all the way up, lighting up the entire contraption, and sounding all the alarms. Nearby onlookers watched and gaped at the result of his stroke. Just like that you knew you were going to end up having sex with him. It was only a matter of time and dependent on how long you could keep your desires in check with the right thing to do, the sensible thing—the safe thing.

Chris came back over with two prizes in hand, a unicorn that was no doubt for Ella and Flit the bird from Pocahontas--your favorite Disney movie. Ella reached her arms out for him to give him a quick hug. “Dude, what the—how the--,” the game controller struggled to get out. Chris shrugged as he took hold of the stroller.

“Guess I’m Captain America.” He walked off with you giggling as the man stood there, stumped to how it was possible.

Your next stop was the Ferris Wheel. You tried to contain your glee once you stepped onto the ride, but when Chris looked over at you, as the ride began your face betrayed you.

“How excited are you right now?” You squealed and laughed.

“Oh my god, I am so excited. I love the Ferris Wheel!”

Chris smiled widely and nodded as he held Ella. “I know, I remember.” You looked away and out to the horizon.

When your cart made it to the top, you looked out and sighed. This was your favorite part. Ella stood in Chris’ lap and looked around.

“Wow!”

“I can see why you love it so much,” Chris added.

“Anyone who doesn’t like this is either afraid of heights or prefers to keep their feet on the ground, so boring.”

He laughed loud while slapping his hand across his pec muscle. You smiled.

“Wow, so they’re boring, huh. That is very presumptuous of you. They could be outgoing in other things.” You smiled and shook your head.

“I said what I said. Boring. If you aren’t adventurous in something as simple as a ride, then you are boring in everything else.”

“Everything?” You looked at him and knew what he was asking. You smiled and shook your head. This was how things started, his questioning, and the raised eyebrow.

“Yes. Everything.” He laughed and shook his head then looked at Ella, who was so engrossed with the view she was practically pressing against the protective screen. As you watched him with your daughter, you took notice of how protective he was of her. He held her tightly, kept her away from the filthy protective screen, nodded his head along to whatever she was saying, even allowed her to use his face as a steadying force without cringing at her hands. It all screamed parental.

“What’re you thinking?” Snapping out of it, you shook your head, trying to guide him from the topic.

“No, I know that look. It’s probably one of the only looks I know. You were thinking about something. What was it?”

You thought about cluing him in for a moment then looked down at your hands as you felt the wheel move again. “Nothing really, it was just seeing you and her—like this it—it looked very—paternal.”

“Paternal? What do you mean by that?”

“You look as if you’ve been doing this your whole life or her whole life. There was really no adjustment period with you. You—slid right in.”

He looked to be thinking about your words then looked to Ella’s face. She looked at him and smiled, a smile he quickly returned. “Honestly it felt right. You ever had something just feel as natural as breathing? Like you knew all the answers, knew just what to do, what to expect, how to be, just knowing it.”

You nodded. “That is what it felt like. Yeah, I was scared for a while when I found out, but after the night we watched The Little Mermaid for the first time together everything felt right. It felt more right than anything had felt in a long time. I can’t explain it.”

“You just did.” You stared at each other, and time seemed to stand still with the three of you moving slowly through the air with the beautiful setting sun as your backdrop.

“Stay on or get off?” The ride controller brought you back to the present, and the two of you spoke at the same time.

“Stay on.”

So that’s what you did, rode the Ferris Wheel until you and Ella had enough, which was three more times. There was no need for much conversation, so the two of you barely spoke, and it felt perfect. You appreciated that neither of you felt the need to fill every moment between you with conversation; silence was just as good.

Another hour found you sitting on a lawn with the rest of the carnival patrons watching the night’s firework show. It was incredible and definitely a competing force for Macy’s Fourth of July firework show. Every burst of color to the sky had Ella completely captivated. She sat there between you and Chris as still as a river just transfixed by everything she saw. Every time you looked over to her Chris’ eyes met yours, and you held each other’s gaze for longer than necessary. You loved the way he looked under the light of fireworks. Though it was dark his eyes were still intense and still did things to you that you should have been ashamed of. Part of you was ashamed, but the other part didn’t seem to care too much. You were always the one to look away. You mostly did it because you were afraid he’d see everything you held behind your eyes, everything you weren’t quite sure you were ready to show him.

By the time you made it back to the house, it was nearing eleven, and Ella was knocked out. You sat in the parked car for a few extra minutes, just enjoying the silence.

“This was great. Thank you.”

Chris nodded. “It was great. Thank you for coming.”

You smiled and stared at your hands. Nervousness filled you, and you felt like a high school girl being dropped home by her crush, wondering if he’d make a move. Every time you were around each other every moment felt like it was prime for either him or you to make a move, but neither of you did.

“Should we get her in bed?” You nodded and climbed out of the truck.

Chris got Ella, and the three of you went inside the house and upstairs. When you walked into Ella’s room you began pulling back the covers of her bed for him to place her in. Once he did, the two of you worked together to undress her as smoothly as possible to not wake her. Chris disappeared for a few moments then when you turned and bumped into him, he was there holding a pair of pajamas for you. Your hands grazed, and then your eyes met. You were so close all you had to do was tip up on your toes, and your lips would touch.

You took the clothes and turned back to Ella and proceeded to dress her. After you finished it was Chris who tucked her in, and both of you kissed her at the same time. Again, your eyes met, and your belly did somersaults. You backed away, trying to keep distance between you. “Thank you again for tonight,” you whispered.

“We make a good team.” He nodded to Ella’s sleeping frame, and you both watched her for a few moments.

“We do. We created her; that was perfect teamwork,” you absentmindedly responded.

“Do you regret it?” Your head snapped to him, confused why he’d ask you that.

“Do I regret what? Having her or--,” you allowed the remainder of the sentence to hang in the air.

“All of it.”

What a loaded question you thought, but the answer was simple. “I regret nothing.”

Chris looked shocked, then interested. He took a step to you. “Nothing?”

After a few seconds, you took a step to him, leaving just a sliver of space between you. “Not a thing.” You watched Chris bite into his bottom lip, and next thing you knew his lips were on yours, taking control of the sultriest kiss you’d had in three years. It only took seconds for your knees to buckle and moments for him to take your breath away. You kissed him with the same fire and need that emitted from him. After barely a minute, the two of you were moaning in the dark, quiet room seeming to not care about anything else.

You needed to get closer, so you lifted your leg, and his hand was there to grip your thigh, holding it in place against him. Chris then bent slightly and lifted you against him. Automatically your legs wrapped around him. Chris then moved from the center of the room and pressed you against a nearby wall. You moaned when you felt his growing hardness press into the apex of your thighs. With your moan Chris groaned and bit onto your bottom lip. You felt as if your skin was scorching, and there was a fire that was flaming out from your nether regions. The more intensely and expertly he kissed you, the more out of control the fire became. Chris pressed himself into you more forcefully, and you gasped, pulling your lips from his and hitting your head back onto the wall with an audible, “Fuck!”

Chris took the opportunity to latch his lips onto your neck and suck just where he knew you craved his mouth. You shivered and felt wetness pool between your legs. He didn’t stay at your neck for long; instead his lips traveled to your clavicle where he peppered feathered kisses across it. Then Chris’ mouth moved down your sternum until you felt his teeth clamp onto one of your already needy nipples. You gasped again and couldn’t control your lower half from grinding against him. Chris groaned loudly and hissed when he felt your fingernails dig into his shoulders.

All you had to do was continue the friction of his length on your crotch, and you’d come, you were that open. Chris allowed you to slide down from his body so you were on the floor then he began to go lower to your stomach. It was then you caught of glimpse of Ella sleeping peacefully in her bed across the room. The realization of what was happening and what would happen soon slammed into you like a ton of bricks. You gasped. Like a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over your head you snapped out of it.

“Wait—wait.” Chris’s actions instantly stopped. He didn’t look up at you though. It was as if he thought that if he didn’t move, things would fall back into place. After almost a minute, he looked up at you then stood coming face to face with you.

“What’s wrong?” You took the time to study his eyes and go over every single aspect of his face. He was gorgeous, always had been, but he’d only grown better looking.

“We can’t.” He didn’t speak; he studied you as you studied him.

“We’ve already screwed things up so bad already. I’ve screwed up. We can’t—can’t do this. We have to focus on that little girl and only her. We can’t ruin things anymore.”

His expression was masked as was anything he was thinking or feeling. He looked like a blank canvas. Chris looked down, nodded and then stepped away from you. Your eyes dropped to his waist, and you saw the strain of his pants. Again, your desire for him flared. Before you could drop to your knees and do what you wanted to, you scurried from the room with your head high and back straight. You were so thankful you’d packed your vibrator, tonight you’d need it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

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if-you-built-yourself-a-myth · 6 years ago

Text

The first time Elia kissed a boy, he didn’t get a name. He, Martino, and Giovanni headed down to the skate park after classes, even though Gio was the only one in the group proficient at the pastime. They planned to record stories for Instagram. While filming Gio performing tricks on his phone, Elia caught the eye of a boy with curly black hair working the halfpipe and felt his breath catch in his throat.

It wasn’t like Elia hadn’t ever looked at boys before, because he certainly had, but this time was different than the others. The boy wore a royal blue jacket over a loose-fitting gray t-shirt. His hair whipped in the wind as he skated. Elia took in the details one by one, memorizing them to the best of his ability. The boy cuffed his jeans at the bottom. He wore knee pads but not a helmet or anything on his elbows. When he smiled, he revealed a set of shiny white teeth that could put the sun to shame. The boy performed what Gio would call an FS Disaster, although Elia only recognized it as a difficult kind of jump, landed, and looked back at Elia directly.

At that point, Elia didn’t know what he felt about the situation. He stuck around anyway after Gio and Marti left. At the end of two hours alone, when the sun had gone down and the rest of the skaters had headed home, the boy came over and sat down beside him on the bench. They hardly spoke. When their lips connected, it didn’t feel bad, so Elia didn’t stop him.

Thirty minutes. At least. Elia found his hands tangled in the boy’s hair, grasping at his jacket, wrapped around his neck. When the boy got up to leave, he wanted to stop him... but who could be sure it was what he really wanted? Perhaps the night air was making him think irrationally, or the fact that this was his first was making him sentimental. He let the boy go.

But he started cuffing his jeans.

ii.

The second time Elia kissed a boy, neither one of them got to keep the memory. He met Hugo outside of Edoardo’s party at three in the morning, drunk out of his mind and bumping into everything. The other boy wasn’t in a much better way, and despite their efforts to get each other to the bus station, they ended up stumbling down the street to take a long way home.

Hugo was a pretty blond, the kind of guy that looked out of place no matter where he was, which was why Elia found himself drawn to him in the first place when he saw him on Edo’s porch. He had a peppering of freckles across the bridge of his nose, like he spent a lot of time on holiday somewhere sunny, fingers meant for playing the piano, and a style of dress that gelled with no one else’s. He laughed loudly, unapologetically. If the circumstances had involved less alcohol between them, things might have developed into more.

They walked most of the way back to Elia’s house passing a bottle of vodka back and forth between them. There was a conversation, although not coherent. Hugo asked about Elia’s family, his earring, and his friends. Elia answered the questions and shot back his own. When they finished the first bottle, Elia produced his backup flask to share once more.

As they arrived outside Elia’s apartment, Hugo leaned in. Elia had kissed a lot of sloppy girls before, but had never been so sloppy himself, and the whole thing felt more like a scene from a horror movie than a kiss goodnight. He didn’t mind so much.

When he awoke the next morning, he couldn’t remember anything from the night before. All he knew was that he felt happy. For a reason he couldn’t quite express, he felt he had to come out to the boys that same week.

iii.

The third time Elia kissed a boy, he didn’t get to savor the moment. He came to the event with a girl he liked a lot, with whom he thought he might want something official. She walked away from him within the first ten minutes, leaving him to scan the party for Gio and Eva making out in the corners or Marti and Nico taking shots at the bar.

In the midst of his search, he spotted Marco D’Adaggio across the dance floor.

There’s always that first crush that makes you realize you’re bisexual, and for Elia, it had been Marco. Marco made him appreciate the veins in boys’ hands. Marco made him wonder at the sharpness of a boy’s jawline. He’d sent thousands of fleeting glances in Marco’s direction during class, over and over for a good three months the previous year. The possibility of reciprocated feelings hit him hard; no boy he’d ever pursued had ended up in a lasting relationship with him. He looked, and found his girl was at the bar making out with Chicco Rodi. So he crossed the floor.

Marco was a black-haired, blue-eyed wonderboy who could pull off a leather jacket with Doc Martins and still didn’t look too hipster. When they kissed in the back room that night, it was almost everything Elia imagined kissing was supposed to be. Hands in each other’s hair. Lips trailed along collarbones. Breathing, gasping, breathing. Perfect.

Marco leaned in close, so Elia could feel breath on his neck, and said, “We can keep this going, so long as you don’t tell anyone.”

And then it wasn’t perfect. Elia wasn’t about to be anyone’s secret. He left the bar by himself immediately afterward, without the girl he brought and without seeing any of his friends.

Marco didn’t try to call him.

iv.

The fourth time Elia kissed a boy, it happened in the light of day, on a swing, with no alcohol coursing through his veins or weed pumping at his heart.

After months of seeing Filippo across parties, he’d gotten the nerve to approach him alone for a chat on the couch. It was nice, Elia felt, to have someone to talk to who understood him. Without an agenda. Without needing to be drunk. Without being a stranger or a secret or assertive. When talking became a normality, and there weren’t enough parties to do it consistently, Elia invited Filippo to hang out with their friends. The older boy was practically a part of the crew before Elia decided to hang out with him on his own.

And then, in the park, on a warm summer day where the light shone off of Filippo’s hair and glinted off his piercings, everything fell right into place where it was supposed to be. Elia’s eyes locked on the cognac-brown of Filippo’s, and they both knew what they wanted to happen. They kissed.

It might have been the fourth time Elia kissed a boy, but it felt like the first. Never before had he felt this much with a person-- not with the skater boy, not with wasted Hugo, not with picture-perfect Marco, not with any of the girls he’d ever loved. As he kissed Filippo, he understood why people liked kissing so much. He understood how much he’d been missing out on by kissing the wrong people.

It lasted over half an hour. They walked home together, no stumbling or staggering, and no hiding either.

Moreover, when he woke up in bed the next morning, Filippo hadn’t gone away.

#elippo #elia santini #filippo sava #elia x filippo #skam italia

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thegreatescape · 6 years ago

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SKAM ITALIA CONVENTION

FIRST OF ALL, sorry for my English. Please, don’t repost the pics from this post. I wanna share them with you but you have to respect this, pretty please ;;

PANEL

At the panel I sat in the second row and when I saw the cast I was shocked by their beauty! Even if it didn't last long, they were so nice and funny and it was wonderful to sing “Buon Viaggio” along with them (even if it was a bit embarrassing haha).

PHOTO-OP WITH ROCCO

As soon as I entered the room I had an heart attack because he was so pretty and he seemed such a genuine guy. He smiled at me and said ‘Hi!’ with the softest voice and opened his arms to hug me (I was shaking so hard haha) and I told him I was very happy to meet him. We were still hugging when I asked him "Can I hug you?", as if we weren't already doing it, and he laughed and said "Ehm, yes? Sure!" and he held me tight as we took the picture. I hugged him another time and I was like "I’m so sorry" because I didn’t want to bother him and he said "No don’t worry” and he hugged me even tighter ;;

MEET & GREET WITH LUDOVICO

When he arrived it was a bit embarrassing because there was complete silence. We were all so nervous and, damn, it was awkward. So he broke the silence saying "Should we play cards?" diffusing the tension.

- He told us that "Giovanni Garau with the U because he is Sardinian" was improvised because, while they were shooting, their make-up artist (who was next to the bouncer) jokingly said 'Garao?' and Ludovico was like "No, it's Garau with the U. And then I asked myself: why is it with the U? Ah, because it's Sardinian! And I said it!" lmao - He said that when they were shooting the scene in which he and Francesco had to run away from the police they bumped into the quod where there was the director, because they were running too fast, while Federico and Nicholas were very slow. - Then he talked about "Aggrappati a me” and told us that the child with whom he acted didn’t collaborate sometimes. Basically she refused to wear a coat but when the director asked her if she wanted Ludovico to put it on her she nodded HAHA - He also talked about that time he worked with Muccino and he said that there was a traumatizing scene because he couldn't remember his line and Muccino scolded him and he started crying because he couldn't take it anymore ;; But then he was so proud of himself when he was able to do it! Seriously he was so sweet! - At the end I apologized because I always tag him on my drawings and he said "Are you kidding? That makes me happy! Have I ever replied to you?" I told him yes and he said, "Ah well, that's the most important thing! Unfortunately I usually don’t have time to reply to people and I'm so sorry". We posed to take a selfie but I asked him to take it and he was like: Why? Me: I'm shaking. He laughed: I don't believe you, liar! haha

PHOTO DUO FEDERICO & ROCCO - PHOTO-OP WITH FEDERICO - GROUP PIC

Here I met Federico for the first time and I was really nervous because he’s my favorite person in the world. When I arrived I greeted Rocco again with another hug, and then I clung to Fede just saying "Ciao" because I was literally shaking haha. He had such a soft expression and a tender smile that melted my heart. So, a bit embarrassed, I asked both of them if it was okay to make a group hug and Federico said "Yes, let's squeeze hard!" And I found myself sprawled between him and Rocco. It was the best moment of my life! Then I greeted them with another hug, continuing to apologize, especially to Rocco because it was like our 10th hug.

When I returned to the room, there was only Federico ready to take individual photos and while we were queuing, Ludovico came out of nowhere and queued with us hiding among the people. When it was his turn, Federico started laughing and caressed his cheek and posed hugging him tightly. Then Ludovico sat down in a chair next to where they were taking pictures. I wanted a specific pose with Federico and I was trying to find a way to explain it to him without 'ambiguous' but when I mimed it he said "Oh you want me to take you from behind?" I widened my eyes and he immediately realized that it was misunderstandable and he said "That sounded bad!" We took the pic and I gave him another hug because he kept smiling so softly and he was the cutest little muffin ever.

Then I lined up for the third time ready for the group photo. I introduced myself to Pietro and Francesco and I greeted the others again (yes, hugging them all again because it seemed polite to greet them lol). After we took the pic there was another round of hugs, luckily this time it started from them otherwise I would have felt intrusive, and I ran upstairs to the autographs session.

AUTOGRAPHS LUDOVICO / ROCCO / FEDERICO / PIETRO / FRANCESCO

Unfortunately I had no extras with Pietro and Francesco, so I gave my drawings to my friends. Franz was very happy about the drawing and said he would have thanked me at the dinner (and he did it). Pietro, on the other hand, recognized my drawing from Instagram and he was so nice to leave me a note saying "Thank you Giulia, your drawing is WONDERFUL!" with his autograph ;;

The first one I talked to was Ludovico: I thanked him so much for his work and for making the meet a unique experience and I gave him the drawing. As soon as he saw it he widened his eyes and stared at me incredulously "Woah! It's beautiful. Did you do it?! I have no words, it's fantastic, you have a unique talent. Amazing!” and he continued like this for a minute while I was screaming inside. Then we took the pictures!

Then I met Rocco and when I arrived we hugged for the 45987243 time. Rocco is SO shy! Every time he hugged someone, he had a nervous laugh and lowered his head, smiling, embarrassed ... ADORABLE. By the way, I told him something personal and I thanked him for his work because he helped me a lot. He stared me straight in the eyes and he looked kinda sad because he saw that I had tears in my eyes and I was desperately trying not to burst into tears and in fact I told him that it was better to change subject because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable and he said: “Don’t worry. I’m the one who should thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m happy that you felt comfortable to open up to me, it's wonderful knowing that I’m helping someone."

Then I gave him my drawings telling him those were my way of saying ‘thank you’. When he saw them he lit up and said "NOOOO! SO COOL! They are beautiful! Wow, AMAZING! Oh, wait… this is Fe Cè!” and I realized that I had also given him Federico's drawing by mistake haha

We took the selfie, I looked at him with tears in my eyes and it was like he had read my mind because he said "Another hug?" laughing because it was like the thousandth! When I left the queue I read his autograph where he had written "Love yourself always, Giulia"and I cried while I was waiting for Federico’s autograph lol

When I saw Fede I thanked him for everything and I told him that he’s such a great actor and a beautiful human being and he was literally a sunshine because he smiled from ear to ear with his hands clasped over his heart; I gave him the drawings and he also complimented me and thanked me so much. Then we took 3 selfies and hugged another time.

DINNER WITH CAST

The dinner was the best part of the day. I was at the same table of Federico and Pietro, and I was quite close to Pietro. I thanked him for leaving me that note and he lit up and stretched out his arm to be able to shake my hand and he caressed me saying "Ah you are the girl of the drawing! Honey, you gave me a gift! It's one of the most beautiful drawings I've ever seen! I've seen some good ones in my life but yours was perfect, so realistic”. I just smiled and thanked him because I didn't know what to say and he smiled at me in a very sweet way ;; During the dinner we talked a bit with Federico and Ludovico but unfortunately we couldn't hear that much because there was caos.

When we finished the pizza and they brought the desserts Federico went to sit right next to Pietro and started asking everyone if someone wanted to eat his tiramisù with him and after everyone said no, he saw that I was staring at him and he stretched the plate "Do you want some? Please help me I can’t eat all of it!" He ‘insisted’ a few times and in the end I said yes and so I ate a piece of it. When I gave it back to him, he looked at the plate and said: "Just that? But you ate a small piece!” And I said “Fede, there was just one fork, maybe I should ask the waiter to bring another one!” and he was like “Oh no, don’t worry. There’s no problem! I eat with this!” lmao So Pietro took a girl's phone and started filming the scene saying “Giulia is eating all of Federico's tiramisu!” It was so embarrassing haha A few minutes later Pietro got up to go to Ludovico - I don't know where I found the courage since I am so shy - and I went to sit next to Fede and I said “I wanted to stay right next to you” regretting it a second later. Federico explained us that he calls Rocco “lizard” because when he yawns he looks like a lizard and he makes a very strange sound. And he chose this nickname because he wanted to find a name that was as humiliating as "Bambi" haha Then he told us a tongue twister and he was the only one able to say it “Se ti stizzisci, stizziscitici pure!” and then he asked Rocco to say it too and Rocco was like “Se ti stizzzidusafhoa sicciicisohfdas” it was adorable hahah Then Fede kept eating his tiramisù even if he was full, but he didn’t want to leave it there so he did the “airplane” with the fork and he tried to make me eat that, you know, like you do with kids, and he made an adorable voice "Come on, take a tiny tiny tiny piece, look at it! It looks soooo good".

Then I don't remember how we got into the argument but I asked him if I could take a picture of him and he said yes, but when I wanted to take it he turned around to talk and I already had the phone in my hand and I took it anyway but he turned around again with the tiramisu still in his mouth and I lowered the phone so quickly but he had seen me. So I picked up the phone and he saw the picture and he laughed: "Are you taking pics of me while I’m eating? Look how ugly I am! There are too many photos you can blackmail me with! Come on, take another one so I can pose!” I took the picture and when he looked at it he laughed again “Jesus, it's worse than the first one!"

Shortly after I told a friend "I’ve never drank wine!" And Federico heard me and looked at me so shocked "You’ve never drank wine!? But how old are you?” "25 ..." “And you have never drank wine? Do you want to try ..?” and he gave me his glass (after I said ‘no’ a few times because I was embarrassed lol). I tasted it, and after few second I said: “THAT’S SO GOOD!” Federico burst out into laughing "Good, right?! You have to trust me! Well… Oh God, you’ll become an alcoholist because of me! What a responsibility! "A few minutes later he gave me his glass again asking me if I wanted a little more. For the umpteenth time we have repeated the "no it’s okay", "oh c’mon just a sip, don’t worry" and then I drank again. He laughed and said: "I created a monster!" Then Francesco arrived and hugged him from behind, starting to open sugar sachets because he was very drunk lol

Then Fede got up because Francesco was bothering him and he said "Okay, our speed date is over!" and I was like noooo don't leave. Even Francesco was very nice even if he was saying things that had no sense haha We took a picture together and he was kind of purple and said “I’m sorry, I’m drunk as fuck!”

The staff told us that the dinner was over so I went back to Pietro to thank him and we took some pictures (like… 15 haha). We hugged each other hard and he thanked me again for the drawing.

Then I went back to Federico and told him that I had spent the best evening of my life because of him and laughing he said "It's the wine that makes you saying this! Drink responsibly, I recommend you! I feel the responsibility on my shoulders now! Thank you for everything!” And we took more photos.

Then I joined Rocco and I asked him another hug and he smiled and held me tight, saying, "Let’s take a selfie!"And so I took pictures with him too. I was about to leave when we looked each other in the eyes and we both laughed and we hugged each other AGAIN HAHA

In the end I went to say hello to Ludovico and we took two pictures but he was completely lost because he was as drunk as Francesco lol

Probably this is full of mistakes but I just wanted to share with you the best experience of my life. Again, please don’t repost the pictures ;-;

#skam italia #federico cesari #rocco fasano #ludovico tersigni #pietro turano #francesco centorame #skamit #fandom vibes #convention #skam italia convention

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jcmorrigan · 5 years ago

Text

Stop! Hammer Time!

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) This is the longest thing I’ve written for us - it’s 12 pages in MS Word - so no one’s obligated to read it; I’m just putting it out there because I’m lovestruck and need to get this out of my system. I’m only YT-current, not VRV-current, and it’s been four episodes, so I’m well aware this ship could get sunk at any time. I’m just having fun while I can. Anyway, here’s the whole big love confession thing - there’s some contextual stuff that you just gotta Roll With and also I have lots of headcanons in play here that Word of God is probably gonna disprove (trans biroace Gio anyone?). Anyway, enjoy. Or don’t.

***

I would say the part where it all went to shit was the Fog of Lost Souls.

To be fair, we were losing pretty badly before that. It had seemed like the perfect crime: overrun the mall. Jewelry stores galore! Expensive video game consoles! A Hot Topic for Rachel!

As for Miss Scribere, she had done the usual, for the usual fee. A detailed floor plan, thorough reconnaissance, surveys of the entrys and exits, locations of all visible security cameras, proximity of the Hot Topic to the ideal entry point. After all, her cut was going to be enough gems to pay off her rent and also every piece of Kingdom Hearts merch in the entire boutique. (Mostly that Kairi hoodie.)

That’s me. Miss Rachel Scribere. No, I don’t have an Epithet, least of all one to do with writing. I wish. I am a writer, however. It’s just that I’m a mundie of a writer.

So, fast forward. I, the independent contractor who is a Banzai Blaster associate by a technicality, have brought the intel to the legit Blasters (as “legit” as the Blasters can be – seriously, there’s a reason I’m an independent contractor). We’ve thought through every obstacle that could probably have happened to us (and, thanks to one certain gorgeous boss, several that could improbably have happened). I’ve already deliberately repressed several outpourings of affection toward said gorgeous boss.

Oh, yeah. That’s an important part of this story. The fact that Crusher isn’t the only person crushing on Giovanni Potage. Just that he’s the only person who got nicknamed after it.

Keep your finger on that fast-forward button. So we’re in the middle of the food court, about twelve of us trying to bring out our haul, and I’ve already had about five of those moments where Giovanni and I would have to interact directly (including him wandering into the Hot Topic as my hand was hovering over that Kairi hoodie, and then I had to pretend that I wasn’t a complete and total gamer nerd and give it up until another day when I would probably pay full MSRP for it) and I would get just too flustered to say anything in return and move on over to talk to Ben or Darkstar or anybody but Crusher, really, since he was quite steamed at me for being the Romantic Rival.

We had it all in the bag, quite literally, when the other guy showed up. With another crime syndicate. And these guys were wearing black to indicate they were really, really serious. My danger senses went off almost immediately, but Giovanni, being Giovanni, had insisted that the Banzai Blasters had first dibs on this mall, so the other guys would just have to leave.

That was how we found out the other guy’s Epithet was “Hammer.” Whose Epithet is “Hammer,” anyway? Stupid question: this guy’s. Marcus Malleus, he was called. His syndicate didn’t have a name, because apparently naming your crime syndicate is for losers (never mind that we didn’t even pick the name). And even without the gigantic hammer of solidified aether that he hoisted like a dark Mjolnir, this man was enormous. He probably could have killed us with one blow.

And we’ve now arrived at the place where it went to shit.

“Whose Epithet is ‘Hammer,’ anyway?” Giovanni asked derisively. (No, I never have had an original idea in my life; why do you ask?) “What’re you gonna do? Knock us all into the ground like nails?”

“Exactly,” Marcus said as he grinned, showing off a few broken teeth to demonstrate that he’d survived his fair share of scraps.

“Don’t be silly!” Giovanni waved him off. “We’d never…survive…that.”

It seemed he was the last one to realize we were in some deep shit.

“That’s what I’m countin’ on,” Marcus said as he advanced.

I could see that Giovanni’s knees were beginning to tremble. I wanted to run to him, to throw myself between him and the threat, but I was frozen, rooted to the spot by fear of all flavors. What a failure, failure, failure I was –

And yet he didn’t admit to his own terror. Instead, he put up a hand and demanded, “STOP!”

That was enough to at least distract Marcus into holding still. “What the – “

“I hope you’re prepared to find your way…” Giovanni had put his arms out to either side now. “THROUGH THE FOG OF LOST SOULS!”

The steam filled the food court quickly and thoroughly. We all heard Giovanni shriek “SCATTER!”.

So we did…as iffy as I felt about leaving him behind and fending for myself.

Turned out that shouldn’t have been my priority at all. Turned out I couldn’t fucking see anything in the fog-bomb, which worked in our favor insofar as it meant Marcus not chasing us but had the big downside of me being unable to find my way through an unfamiliar environment.

I ran into a fucking table.

I screamed as I went down, hitting the tile hard. At least it was only the ordinary sort of fall. Nothing broken, nothing bruised – not even my glasses.

That relief only lasted momentarily, because I’d been tripped up just long enough for the fog to clear and Marcus to find one and only one Blaster (or rather Blaster-adjacent) left on the field. And guess who that was?

The moment I’d gotten to my feet, I felt the hammer’s blow.

I was thrown all the way out of the court, hitting a wall before going down. In a panic, I made a check that I was still alive – well, duh, or I wouldn’t have been panicking. But there was pain, so much pain. Something was broken, but I couldn’t quite tell what, because my head was fucked up as well. I was pretty sure I was concussed, or on the verge of it. Consciousness became less of a black-and-white state and more like a soupy gray area where I was suspended between dreamland and knowing just how many steps away from death I was.

In the flashes, I knew what I was dreaming about. Him. Kneeling over my prone body, hands pressed to either side of me, his voice breaking as he lamented, “Composer…no…not my beautiful, amazing Composer…he…he fucked her up…!” The hitch in his breath that indicated he was crying.

Wait a minute.

That wasn’t the dream half.

I attempted to pry my eyes open to see Giovanni hovering over me, shivering with concern. Was he all blurry because I was half-dead or because my glasses had been shattered and lost? Did it matter? His cape was draping almost protectively around both of us as he wept.

My heart skipped a few beats, even though I knew damn well he did this for all of his minions. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t a favorite. He loved all of us so much…and that’s why I loved him so specially. Because he had room in his heart for so many people. Because he didn’t have to have a crush on me to do this, to cry for me when he worried I was –

I had better try to indicate I wasn’t actually dead.

I pushed out a laborious groan. Things were getting clearer…sort of. I managed the words “I’m…fffffine.”

“Then COME ON!” He seized my forearms. “We gotta get outta here! I think this guy might be having a lucky enough day to beat us today!”

“Mmh…okay…”

It seemed a Herculean feat to get to my feet. Thankfully, my vision wasn’t blurring in and out so much �� more like normal lost-glasses blind than concussion-blind. We could still make a run for it.

Or so I thought until I put weight on my right foot and crumpled immediately with a yelp.

It took me a moment to realize that he’d gone down with me as I’d fallen to my knees, keeping his hands on my forearms. “Not fine,” I panted, “not fine…”

“Then I’m gonna get you out of here.”

It was that determination in his voice that always signified he was about to do something absolutely asinine.

Before I could talk him out of it, he’d swept me up like a bride, one arm behind my back and the other under my knees. It would have been like a scene from a dream had I not known that Giovanni could not lift my weight, and he was doomed to fail from the start.

We tumbled over together, screaming in two-part harmony.

“Okayokayokay – “ Giovanni muttered as I rolled off of him, now pretty much sobbing from the pain. What all had that Malleus guy broken? “Oh! I know! I know EXACTLY how I’m getting you out of here! You’ll be patched up in no time!”

I then felt the rim of a warm cup of liquid being pressed to my lips. Was he serious? “Is this – “

“Just drink it, dammit!”

I wanted to refuse, but we didn’t have time for that fight. As the health-replenishing soup coursed through me, I could feel the aches and pains disappearing, mellowing out, the throbbing and buzzing in my head subsiding.

He’d actually done it. And I immediately wished he hadn’t.

“Why did you DO that?” I screamed.

“WHAT?” he barked. “Are you grossed out because it’s from my SWEAT? I would think it’s better than being DEAD!”

“I don’t CARE about your sweat-soup, and you know it! But you can only do that once per fight! Now you can’t use it on YOU!”

“Oh, please.” He stood to full height, and I rose with him, trying to focus on his facial features through my half-blind haze. “Like I’m gonna let this jerk best me. Trust me, that fog’s gonna keep him lost for a while, and I’m gonna – “

I may have been half-blind, but even I could make out the shape of the hammer swinging through the fog.

For once, my reflexes were on-point enough to carry me out of the way.

Giovanni’s weren’t.

I saw him sideswiped, then peeled off the floor so Marcus could hold him up by the collar; “Payback, you little bitch!”

I could hear his whimpering. His screaming. I wanted so badly to fling myself at Marcus Malleus, to tackle him, to land my own critical hit, to save my boss, my friend, my Giovanni –

And I turned and ran instead.

But not without a strategy. I was half-blind, disarmed, and no good in a fight at this moment. I would just have to hope Giovanni would hold out until I’d gotten my plan in motion.

Please.

The other Blasters had taken refuge in a Claire’s we’d designated as our rendez-vous point should we need to scatter. I stumbled in, nearly knocking down a rotating display of earrings.

“Where is he?” a voice called out. Crusher, of course.

“He’s back there,” I said in a panicked rush. “The big guy has him.”

“Why the HELL did you leave – “

“I need you guys to run the Gazpacho Maneuver,” I declared.

“But we’ve never practiced that before!” Car Crash argued.

“Well, you’re gonna do it NOW,” I insisted, “or the boss is gonna get crushed.”

By the time we got back to the food court…I’ll admit I couldn’t see a lot of the details. Just a strip of yellow lying on the floor, a shadowy mass hovering above him with an instrument held high.

However, if the Gazpacho Maneuver went to plan, which I know it did, here’s what happened: first, Artful Dodger ran at Marcus to distract him, getting his attention only to duck every blow. (Contrary to what you’re thinking right now, he actually got his nickname from his love of Dickens. Go figure.) Then Crusher and Car Crash rushed him from either side to blindside him from two directions. During this time, Flamethrower and Sharpshooter arranged themselves around the food court in order to sharpshoot and flamethrow at Marcus, respectively, from an optimal distance – and no, I did not mix up that order. Meanwhile, Ben and Darkstar teamed up to spirit Giovanni away, carrying him away from the danger zone. On the way out, Ben tugged my sleeve, indicating I needed to go with.

So I did, leaving the others to carry out the other thirty-six moves of the plan that would either leave Marcus incapacitated and bound on the floor or just buy them some more time before they were also smacked halfway across the mall.

We re-convened in a JCPenney. We’d almost gone to the Claire’s, but then realized that had no bed for a patient, and had to relocate to a department store with some of those little short bed-sets that look comically small. When I was younger, I always used to think those things were perfectly kid-sized. Huh…I wondered how Molly would think about these beds, since they seemed the perfect length for her.

How was I going to tell Molly if the closest thing she had to a dad died protecting me? Hell, Sylvie didn’t have the best relationship with Giovanni, but…how could I tell him either?

Ben and Darkstar had Giovanni settled as best they could across the bed widthways, adjusting the pillow beneath his head, giving worried mutters of “Boss…boss!”

I held my breath, praying he’d answer.

“Wh…why’d you do that? I was winning…”

It was like being dunked in an ocean of relief. I practically collapsed. Very nearly started crying when I heard his voice, weak as it was.

“We know you were!” Ben replied. “But we thought it was best to leave that hammer guy with the humiliation of defeat while we made our getaway!”

“No,” I broke in. “No, I’m not playing this game. Not today.”

I could see all eyes turning upon me. All heads, anyway. Vision was still shot, but I could make out outlines and colors.

“You almost died,” I said, now feeling the tears coming. “Because I fucked up. I fucked up, and you healed me instead of yourself, and I just…I shouldn’t have come here, and I’m so, so sorry…”

“What?” Giovanni’s voice cracked. “Composer…you did great out there! You rallied the backup! I knew you were a great choice for team strategist! You probably would’ve played a really epic victory theme for that team attack if you’d had speakers! …We gotta start bringing speakers on our heists.”

“Just STOP!” I shrieked, shutting my eyes to let the tears gather up. “DON’T talk me up! I don’t need your pity! I just need you not to die! I…I…”

I couldn’t say it now. No. He didn’t need that. But there was something else I wanted to assert.

“I think…you’re wonderful…” I choked. “To all of us…and without you…we’d be fucking nowhere…you make all of us feel so special, and…and we can’t lose you.”

No. I wasn’t going to confess, but in times like these, I couldn’t keep myself completely sequestered. Not when he, too, was probably in need of somebody to be a comfort.

I approached the bed, prying my eyes open far enough to see it clearly, placing my hand on the edge of the mattress and scooting it toward him. He got the hint, catching my hand in his and squeezing it so tightly that I knew deep down, he was far more afraid than he was letting on.

“I know,” he said softly. “And you’re not gonna. But we need you too, Composer. You’re emotional support. You’re, uh…you’re really valuable emotional support. Like when a person who isn’t necessarily me is in a lot of pain and needs a really, really good friend…”

I closed my other hand around his. “I’m here,” I practically whispered. “I’m gonna be shit at doing anything but crying, but I’ll try.”

“Thanks, Composer. I knew I could count on you. You know I love you, right?”

I froze. Then it hit me all over again: he said that to all of us. I wasn’t special. But I didn’t need to be. The last thing I needed was to be throwing myself a fucking pity party while he was lying broken and beaten on a mini-bed.

“I know,” I choked. “How…how bad does it hurt?”

“It’s not bad! I think he only broke my leg. Upper body’s just fine! That’s enough to put up a fight, right?”

That got a laugh out of me. Even though I knew he was probably serious about his leg being broken. His pain tolerance was rather incredible. “Which leg is it?”

I knew he was thinking over which of his hands formed the “L.” He eventually came up with “Left.”

I was on his right side, so theoretically…no. That would be pretty damn selfish.

But maybe not. Because I knew he wouldn’t ever admit to wanting, needing more. “If it wouldn’t hurt you too much,” I said softly, “I might need a hug.”

“Sure,” he said, too enthusiastically. I had been right. “Bring it in, Composer.”

I practically fell into him, wrapping his upper body up tight in my arms. I cried over him as he’d cried over me. He leaned into me, and I could feel him shaking, trying so hard to hide it. I thrust my hand into his hair, the only thing I could think of, stroking through the pink locks to give him any extra comfort I could.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I whispered. “I…I’ve got you.” I’d always wanted to say that to someone. I hadn’t really considered the dire circumstances that would warrant it. Turned out it was absolutely as intimate of a thing as I had thought.

His hand clutched at the back of my dress. Trying to pull me tighter.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“I’m not,” he whispered, and I knew he meant it.

“Uh…Boss? Composer?” Ben broke in.

Right. We were making a pretty big scene. We let go at that, and I turned back around, only to see the real reason that Ben had gotten our attention. The other Blasters had arrived en masse.

“Wait,” I realized. “If you’re here, and Boss isn’t healed up…that means…”

“We lost,” Car Crash sighed, and though I couldn’t see the details, I could imagine the bruises and cuts riddling them.

“Anyone down?” Giovanni asked in a panic.

“Nope,” Flamethrower stated. “We did lose the haul, though. Everything except the one bag with the Special Thing you told us to protect.”

Now I was lost. “What was the Special Thing?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Giovanni said quickly.

“Boss, what did you take?”

“I SAAAIIIIID DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT! WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOM?”

“I sure HOPE you don’t think of me as a mom,” I grumbled.

“What?”

Giovanni sighed. “Well, the important thing is we don’t have any boys down.”

“Speaking of down,” I realized, “did anyone think to pull the grate – “

“We’re locked in,” Flamethrower assured me. “No one’s getting in…no one’s getting out.” Then the ramifications sank in. “We’re actually stuck here until the morning.”

“We shouldn’t move him, either,” I said softly. “I don’t know what to do about that, but…maybe things will look better in the morning.”

“C’moooonnnn, I can make it,” Giovanni sighed. “Just carry me out like you did here.”

“Not if your leg’s broken.”

“That is seriously not gonna mess it up.”

“Yes. It. Seriously. IS.”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING FOR ME, COMPOSER? ARE YOU THE BOSS? NO! I’M THE BOSS! THAT’S WHY MY NAME IS ‘BOSS’!”

“I’M TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOUR LEG DOESN’T GET FUCKED UP ANY WORSE, OKAY? WILL YOU JUST SLOW DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll heal up just fine IN JAIL WHEN THE COPS SHOW UP TO DRAG US ALL IN!”

I clenched my teeth. Then sighed. “I am not doing this. Okay. What counts as a fight?”

“Wha – “

“What. Counts. As. A. Fight.”

“Okay, I totally see where you’re going with this,” Giovanni replied, “but you should spell it out because I don’t think Spike gets it.”

“Hey!” Spike snapped. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to point it out!”

“You can make one healing soup per fight,” I reminded him. “You spent your hammer-guy soup on me. How long do you have to wait to get in another fight to spawn it again?”

“…Three hours?” he guessed. “I dunno; I’ve never timed it out before.”

“And if you got in a slap-fight with one of us, would it work?”

He shrugged. “Probably?”

“Good enough for me,” I decided. “We wait three hours, then stage a fight, and then we can probably get you out of that bed.”

“Fiiiiiiine,” Giovanni sighed, folding his arms and looking for all the world like a petulant child. “We’ll do it YOUR way. Now we gotta kill three hours! I’m gonna be so booooooored!”

“God.” I rolled my eyes. “Stop being so immature for like two seconds. There are PLENTY of ways we can be not bored in here. Like, I dunno…playing wed-bed-behead or Would You Rather.”

“Oh, I’M immature, and THAT’S how you want to pass the time?”

“Screw this.” I turned to storm off toward the eyeglass shop. “I’m getting at least SOME of my vision back.”

I felt a little bad about leaving him, but he seemed able to snark for himself at the moment, so I decided to just let him stew while I went shopping for some new glasses. Shopping without paying, that is.

“Uh…Composer?”

I turned to see a certain purple-haired minion tagging along – pretty much my one teammate who was shorter than me. “Hey, Spike.”

“So…I was just wondering,” Spike brought up. “You and Boss…you ever notice how you two kinda fight like a married couple?”

I nearly froze. Yet I kept up my stride, my one shoe (when had I lost a shoe?) clacking on the tile. “No, we don’t.”

“You kinda do.”

“We do NOT.”

“I’m just saying…”

“Do you WANT me to like him?” I snapped at her. “Last time I checked, you were the one who loved him. You and Crusher.” I then immediately regretted it. “God. No. That came out wrong. What I meant – “

“I know you wanna keep the peace and everything,” Spike replied, “but you can go for him. I mean, he won’t notice, he never DOES, but you don’t have to hold back for my sake or Crusher’s.”

“Yes, I do.” I sighed. “Spike…I already tried.”

“…Oh.”

“It flew over his head about thirty times, and then I gave up,” I sighed. “He loves all of us. And I love that about him. But I’m never gonna be more than just…another one of the boys. And that should be fine! I’d rather have a life WITH the Boss than a life WITHOUT the Boss! But…it’s just not meant to be. And I have to put up with that.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” Spike lamented. “I mean, I came over here because I thought you should know that I really am jealous. There’s a reason Crusher’s so jealous, too. A lot of us are jealous. Boss is just…always so happy with you. I guess there’s something about you that gets to him.”

“Don’t get my hopes up,” I said somberly.

“I’m not trying to,” Spike replied. “But you two are really good friends. You shouldn’t avoid him so much.”

“…Am I that obvious?”

“He WANTS to get to know you better. But you keep running away, and I was right about why, which means Flamethrower owes me five bucks!”

“Well, maybe I’ll have to think about it, then.” We’d arrived at the eyeglasses. “But no promises. Like I said…I tried. Maybe I just…have to try harder to aim for the friend zone. The friend zone isn’t bad. It’s where you make friends.”

“That’s the spirit, Composer!”

I began to cycle through a rack of glasses.

“What’s your prescription?” Spike asked.

“I have no fucking idea,” I replied.

Eventually, I found one that improved my vision enough for me to get by. Now I could see how many little bruises Spike was sporting beneath her visor. My stomach twisted; I wondered if technically, that, too, was my fault.

I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

I kicked off my other shoe on the way back; the asymmetry was bothering me. I did my best to listen to Spike complaining about the loot Marcus got away with, especially the rhinestone-studded smartphone case (which she seemed to be angrier about than him taking an actual smartphone from our haul). All the while, I couldn’t help but mull over all the things that were my fault. Her getting hurt, them getting hurt…

Giovanni getting hurt.

Everyone else was thronged around him, him still reclined on the mini-bed, when Spike and I returned. I tried to hang to the back of the crowd, trying not to draw attention to myself. No need to kick up that fight again.

“All right, boys,” Giovanni stated. “Like we planned.”

And then they all began to disperse.

“Wait, what?” Spike asked.

“Boss wants us to investigate all the departments,” Flamethrower explained. “We might be able to pick up some replacement loot!”

“Um…okay?”

Spike and I turned to join the mission, but I was held back by a sharp demand: “Not you, Composer.”

It took me a while to be able to turn and face him once the others had scattered. Then, once I met his eyes – even from that distance, I could see the gold flecks in them, or maybe that was just my memory filling in, since I was wearing under-prescription glasses – I gave a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“What do you MEAN for what?” I was snapping again. “For being rude, I guess.”

“You really think I’m that immature?”

He wasn’t smiling. He was actually asking. I felt like I’d just been stabbed in the heart.

“No,” I admitted. “It’s…just kind of an easy target. Well, okay, I do think you are kinda immature, but it’s…fun immature. The whole kid-at-heart thing. That’s one of the reasons I love…running missions with you and hanging around base.”

“Okay. Just checking. That’s kinda what I thought, but I had to make sure before I said anything.”

“Said anything about what?” I was baffled.

“I’m having a bit of a crisis,” Giovanni said rather casually, turning to face the ceiling. “You’re good with strategy and tactics and all that brainy stuff. Maybe you can help me.”

Gingerly, I approached the bed. Sat down beside him on the edge of it. “I’ll try.”

I thought, for a moment, I saw him tense when I sat down. I wondered if I was too close, if I should leave.

“You know I love each and every one of my minions,” he stated. “All of you bring something special to the team! Together, we are an unstoppable force of unadulterated evil AWESOMENESS! But I’m not supposed to play favorites! If I think one of my minions is better than any of the others, then what happens? Do I lose all credibility? Do I stop seeing how valuable they are? I can’t do that to my boys!”

I wasn’t sure exactly where he was going with this. I wondered if maybe he’d latched onto someone he actually did have feelings for. Oh. He wanted me to advise him how to progress with his actual crush.

Fuck.

“I…don’t think it’s bad to have a favorite,” I muttered. “Not necessarily. I mean, having a LEAST favorite would be a problem, but you’re not gonna lose sight of how great everyone is if you pick a fave. You’re you. You’re Giovanni Potage.”

“I mean, that is true.”

My fingers interlaced with each other. “Wh…who is it?”

He was silent a while before saying, “I don’t wanna tell you their minion name, but her – HIS legal name is…uh…Ray…bert…Flibere. Raybert Flibere.”

I swear I was legally dead for the next three seconds. Heart stopped and all that. Even I wasn’t spacey enough to let that one fly over my head.

“And…how does Raybert make you feel?” I asked.

“Well,” Giovanni sputtered, “it’s – it’s complicated because – she has a – I mean he has a great smile, and he always laughs at my jokes, and I’m not saying my jokes are HORRIBLE, but let’s just pretend I did make horrible jokes. He’d still laugh at them. I dunno, I guess I have fun with him all the time, and I wanna make him smile, and also he makes me kinda out of breath and my heart gets this weird fluttery thing that I’m thinking is a genetic condition and GOD…DAMMIT, IT’S YOU.”

I gave an overdramatic gasp. “I had NO IDEA that Raybert Flibere was secretly a codename for Rachel Scribere!”

“Yeah, I know. I was pretty slick with that one. But I can’t freaking keep it inside anymore! You’re my best friend on the whole team, and I was really looking forward to doing this heist with you, and I…I think…”

The expression on his face was one I had never seen before. Eyes wide as they could be, as though he were facing down some existential demon. “I think I want you to be my girlfriend,” he choked out. Then, at the speed of light: “I mean, I am pretty charming and all, so I figure I have a shot, and this is just a casual thing, like you being my girlfriend casually, not that I wanna make a big deal out of it or – “

“Boss.”

“What? Can’t you see I’m trying to explain myself so I don’t look stupid here?”

“Do you remember what I was trying to tell you a couple months ago?”

“What, that thing about the dates?” Giovanni replied. “I TOLD you, dates are delicious, but not as good as figs no matter how you slice – OH.” He looked like he’d just been whacked with a two-by-four. “You were asking me ON a date.” He raised a hand to wave it off. “Which I knew, of course. I was just playing it cool until I sorted out my own heart. You know everyone wants a piece of me. It’s not easy figuring out who I should reciprocate to.”

“So you know about Spike and Crusher wanting to date you too.”

“THEY WH – I mean, yeah.” He swallowed hard. “But even with that in play, it’s still you. I can’t really explain it. You just make me smile a lot, I guess.”

I turned away from him. “You know I’m not a happy person.”

“You seem like a lot of fun to me. Especially at the compulsory Banzai Blasters dance parties.”

“I’m pretty high-maintenance.”

“Uh, yeah, duh. I KNOW. That’s why I want to prove I can MAINTENANCE you. Challenge accepted!”

“I hate myself,” I muttered. “I act like I don’t, but I do.”

“Well, then, you need somebody to point out what’s good in you, because there’s a damn lot of it.”

His hand wrapped around mine again, and I just about jumped. It was like static electricity. A new charge between us that hadn’t been there previously.

“And…I…maybe wanna thank you for…you know…this.” I still was turned away, but I could tell how flustered he was. He didn’t have to explain what “this” was. The memory of holding him close was still fresh in my mind. “I WANTED to use that soup on you, you know! How am I gonna keep doing awesome crimes without my Composer?”

“Well, I sure as shit can’t do anything without my Boss.”

“…’Boss.’ Y’know, that sounds kinda impersonal for this.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. “You even have your kids call you ‘Boss.’”

“One: she’s not my kid. Technically. Two: if she was, she’s my ONLY kid. The glasses nerd ISN’T.”

“Lies,” I teased.

“But seriously! If you wanna be my girlfriend, and you want me to be your boyfriend, you’ll still be my minion, but you’re my FAVORITE minion, so you should get to call me whatever you want!”

“You can still call me ‘Composer,’” I told him. “I like it now.”

“Good, ‘cause it’s a good name for ya! It shows off how creative you are! That’s why I like saying it: to remind everyone who’s the smart one around here without admitting it isn’t me!” He said the next words in a hiss: “But don’t tell the boys I said that. They don’t know I’m kind of an idiot.”

“You’re a TOTAL idiot,” I affirmed. “But…I love that. It works for you. It doesn’t really hold you back.”

“So, uh…you…you wanna do this or what?”

I knew I had to face him for this. So I turned. It was the most strangely vulnerable I’d ever seen him – hanging on a thread for my answer.

“Yeah,” I told him. “Let’s do this.”

“Cool! Now we’re officially partners in crime!”

“Yeah!” I smiled. Then realized what the deal-breaker might be. “Wait. There’s…there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Is this where you give me my cute pet name?”

“No,” I sighed. “It’s where I tell you that…you don’t get to fuck me.”

“Huh?”

“Because I’m asexual. Like, REALLY sex-repulsed. Ice-cold. And that ain’t changing. So if you want somebody you can fuck, you shouldn’t waste your time – “

“You thought I wanted to do THAT?”

I flinched. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all.

“I keep forgetting that’s a huge thing in this dating stuff,” he grumbled.

I hardly dared to believe it. “Are…you…?”

He gave a nervous laugh. “Funny thing…I’m kinda…asexual myself.”

“NICE!” I squealed. “This is PERFECT!” I’d known he was biromantic – that was common knowledge around base – but not this.

“And, uh…” He was now the one turning away from me. “There’s…more. I kinda…don’t have…guy things? Downstairs?”

It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying. Then my jaw dropped; “I KNEW IT.”

“Yeah. That was a thing. I picked the name ‘Giovanni’ out myself, y’know. Sounds sexy, right?”

“Incredibly sexy.”

“So if that’s gonna be a turn-off, nowwouldbethetimetotellme.”

I thought it over, just in case my first instinct wasn’t right. Then I squeezed his hand gently. “It’s fine. It’s seriously fine. I wasn’t planning on using anything in the ‘downstairs’ area to begin with, so it’s not a big deal. I’m into guys. You’re a guy. There we go.”

He rolled his head back over to look me in the eye, as though questioning if I were genuine in this sentiment. I gave him a gentle smile, and he flashed me a mischievous smirk. “Don’t be mad because I get THREE pride flags and you only get ONE.”

“Well, I wasn’t until you SAID that!”

“Okay. So that’s about everything, except…oh, yeah. The big thing.”

“Your pet name, I know,” I recalled. Then, due to my general chickenshit nature, what I said next came out as a mumble.

“What was that?”

“I said I…” I could feel my face going red.

“What, is it embarrassing?” Giovanni teased. “You wanna call me ‘Shnookums’? ‘Cutie Pie’? ‘Sugar fangs’?”

“Wha – NO!” I snapped. “I was thinking…more like…” I finally managed to squeak it out: “Gio.”

“I like that!” he cried immediately. “It has panache!”

“All right. Then you’re not Boss anymore…Gio.” I couldn’t help but smile. I was finally calling him it out loud. I could’ve said it all day, over and over, Gio, Gio, Gio…

“But that wasn’t the thing that was gonna wrap it up, Composer.”

“Wait, what?”

His free hand searched beneath the blankets of the mini-bed. “The Special Thing. I was gonna say this to you tomorrow, after I got it for you. Actually, I wasn’t sure what I was going to get to make this as dramatic as possible, until I saw you looking at this in the nerd store. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anybody you’re a nerd if you don’t tell anybody I’m a dumbass.”

He passed me a plastic bag containing a folded piece of fabric. A black plastic bag. I knew it immediately.

“YOU. DIDN’T.” I pried the bag open; my jaw dropped. “Do…do you even know what this means to me?”

“I know it’s from one of your nerd games. Maybe you wanna tell me about it sometime? I like the looks of it.”

I removed the pink-and-plaid hoodie from the bag, slipping it on over my dress. (It didn’t match at all. I didn’t care.) “It’s from a character I’m not sure you’d like,” I admitted. “She’s like the sweetest hero. There is literally no evil in her. But she just seems so nice and friendly, and everyone calls her useless, and I love thinking about her potential.”

“She sounds like you. Except without a fun side.”

“That’s actually a compliment, believe it or not.”

He was biting his lip now, fangs almost piercing it, and I could tell he wanted to say more. “What?”

“…Also, she’s not useless. I’m not…a super fan or anything…but I know she gets that huge moment in the second game when she jumps off the balcony and starts beating up the monsters. And that’s also a lot like you when you get down to it.”

I lightly slapped his shoulder. “You. FUCKER. You KNEW. And you let me think I was ALONE here?”

“Look, I’m already hiding the whole dumbass thing!” Giovanni hissed. “You think I can live down being a nerd AND a dumbass AND the guy who cried when she bit it in the third?”

“Ho…ly…shit. You and I need to have a SERIOUSLY long conversation.”

“Well, we have some time now. And three hours to pass later.”

“What about the boys?”

“We’ll just send them to check out more distractions. They’re probably trying on formal wear right now.”

(I later found out that was exactly what the bulk of them were doing.)

“You can get more comfortable if you want,” Giovanni invited. “There’s room.”

Again, it took me a while to grasp his meaning. He was really trying so hard to climb out of the hole of flustered-ness he’d tripped himself into. I did get it, though. I pulled my legs up onto the mattress, lying down beside him. “Is this too close?”

“No. It can be closer, you know.”

I scooted closer to him – pressing right up beside him. His arm came up behind my back, and I shivered as he cradled me there. I pivoted, laying on my side so I could put an arm around him, as well – after all, he was still the one with a shattered leg. And so many more little bruises and marks I could see now that I had better glasses.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Will you cut that out?” he sighed. “It’s really better me than you.”

My arm pried off him so that I could gently stroke down the side of his face. Looking into his luminous, sparkling eyes. Smoothing down those long, unruly pink locks. He was mine, mine, mine. And my heart would damn near break if I let this happen to him again.

“I’m not the kind of badass you think I am,” I said hoarsely. Great. Now I was on the verge of crying again. “I don’t have a whole jump-off-the-balcony-and-slice-monsters thing. I just…stood there and watched him beat you up.”

“I don’t care. You’re valid in so many ways, Composer. Just…stay with me now?”

“Yes. I will.”

My arm was replaced over him, protecting him as best I could from what few threats could reach us here in this bed – loneliness, misunderstanding, betrayal.

“So tell me exactly how many ‘nerd games’ you’ve played,” I said with a playful smirk. Turning it on him for once.

“Ohhhhh boy,” he sighed. “So this is gonna turn into a pretty long explanation…”

#selfship #i'm at soup!

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annefraid · 6 years ago

Text

new year’s eve tradition

Martino really didn’t plan for this to happen. In fact, he organized the christmas tombola carefully avoiding it. And today, he made sure that he was alone in the apartment before anyone came.

He was sitting on the corner of his bed, wondering where he had put his other beanie, when Giovanni appeared in the doorway.

“Your mom’s here.“ Gio raised his eyebrows.

Marti looked at him in confusion. “But...what?“

“I don’t know, she just came in, and there’s a lot of alcohol in the fridge,“ he whispered forcefully.

Marti got up. It was just a nice get-together with his friends before they leave for the party, the big celebration where they would meet up with the girls. The boys were here, and Nico, who arrived only half an hour ago. Oh, Nico.

He remembered seeing him laughing with Elia on the couch, digging through the boxes of stuff the girls brought for the tombola. He was thankful he felt so comfortable with his friends, they were always an option when he searched for a familiar presence, and Marti didn’t know how he was feeling today. This was exactly why he didn’t want his mother here now.

And sure, he was happy with how things were, but introducing your boyfriend only three weeks after coming out to your mom was new territory.

He stepped into the hallway and already heard voices from the other side of the wall. “You must be Niccolò.” And then a muted conversation.

It was new territory, but if there is one thing he has learned, it was how to be brave. He walked through the hallway and living area, following the voices and entered the kitchen. His mother was standing in front of Niccolò, it seemed like they have shaken hands and she'd put her other hand on top of Nico’s.

“It’s not a problem,” he told her and Marti didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“Ma?”

She let go of Nico’s hand as he moved next to her and made a half turn towards him.

“What’s going on?“

“Oh, nothing darling, we were just talking," she said casually, looking at him as if she was just chatting with one of his friends, as if this was the most normal situation, and he suspected she did it on purpose.

He looked back and forth between them.

“I’m making tea for Gio and me. Do you want some?“ Nico asked and pointed behind him. Marti searched his face, but he seemed relaxed. He shook his head and looked back at his mother.

“Ma, what are you doing here?“

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out in a second. I just have to find my-”

“Oh!”

The surprised voice in the living room made them all turn around. Gio and Elia looked up from where they were sitting on the couch. Luca stood near the dinner table, glued to the spot, at least six large bottles of wine pressed against his chest. Marti remembered they sent him to the store a few minutes ago.

The room was awkwardly silent for a few seconds. He eyed his mother, waiting for a reaction. She blinked a few times and sharply turned back around.

“I saw nothing.” She laughed.

He let out a breath and relaxed. When he had imagined it, this meeting went much different in his head.

“Anyway,“ she smiled at Nico, “I’m sorry to be in such a hurry. You should come by soon, so we can do this properly.“

“With pleasure.“ He smiled back at her with ease.

She turned to Marti and stroked his cheek. “Be safe tonight, you know how it is on New Year’s.”

“We will,“ he answered automatically as she walked away.

Martino stood still for half a minute, trying to process what happened. Did his mother really just meet his boyfriend?

He heard the apartment door close and when he looked up again, Nico was busy pouring boiling water into the cups. He stepped closer to lean on the counter, facing him.

“I’m sorry.”

Niccolò looked up. “For?”

“The motherly surprise. I didn’t know she would come.“

Nico’s expression softened. “It’s fine. Really.” He turned back to the tea cups.

Marti gave him a once-over. The past week has been less of a rollercoaster than the previous one, and he still wanted to check in, but Nico didn’t show any signs of being uncomfortable, no furrowed brows or nervous hand fiddling. He looked content.

“Besides, you already met my mom twice, so it’s only fair,“ he said as he opened a drawer to search for a spoon.

Marti took the scene in, standing with his boyfriend in his kitchen, preparing for a night out with friends. He almost couldn’t believe it was real, that the warm feeling in his chest was allowed to stay.

“Actually, your mother loves me now, so I’m winning this competition,“ he teased and gave Nico his proudest grin, heart leaping with joy at the memory.

“You think this is a competition?“ Nico turned towards him.

“Definitely.“

“Then don’t play with fire. I’ll visit her this week and she won’t even be ready for how I’m gonna charm her.“

Marti couldn’t stop smiling at the familiar teasing, at the sparkling eyes. Hey, this is us they said. He lifted his hand to straighten out the collar of Nico’s black button-down shirt, then left it to rest on his shoulder.

“You look nice,“ he said low-voiced.

Niccolò smiled at the compliment, reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object which he held over Marti’s head. He looked up. It was a mistletoe.

Nico looked at him innocently. “I found something.“

“I think that’s left from the tombola decoration.“

“If you're caught standing under the mistletoe, you get a kiss. It’s a New Year’s Eve tradition,“ Nico informed him with a grin.

“I think you’re mixing up something.” Marti slid his other arm around Nico’s waist and pressed into his back, pushing him closer until their faces were just centimeters apart. “Kissing under the mistletoe is not a New Year’s Eve tradition.“

He heard the dull sound of the mistletoe hitting the floor and then a hand was in his hair, pulling him down.

“It is now.“

Nico caught him with soft lips and then they were just two boys in love again, kissing in a pool, kissing on a balcony, kissing in a kitchen. He didn’t care that his friends were only a few meters away, he opened his mouth and let his fingers slide over Nico’s jaw. The tongue he felt against his felt electric and he wondered how every time they kissed he felt like he’s never been kissed before. When Nico started to push him more against the kitchen counter, he pulled back a little.

“Was that my late christmas present?“ Marti asked breathlessly.

“The one I gave you is enough,” Nico raised his eyebrows, “or are you one of those spoiled only children? Shit, what have I gotten myself into?“ he mumbled. They both laughed into a sweet kiss.

“Maybe I just expected a different present.“

Niccolò looked a little confused, as if he wasn’t sure if they were still joking around. He waited for Marti to continue.

“I thought you were going to propose on Christmas Eve?” Martino teased.

Nico’s grin shrunk down to a small smile and he bowed his head down, not making a sound, and for moment Marti thought that he closed off again because of the comment, another unpleasant reminder about that night in Milan. But then he looked up through his lashes, bringing up both hands to rest them on Marti’s neck.

“Don’t worry.” He inched closer and placed his forehead against Marti’s. “You will get your Christmas Eve proposal.” And his kiss felt like a promise.

#skam italia #skam italia fic #nicotino #Martino x Niccolò #it also on AO3 #GUYS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING #you know what that means #I'm posting stuff I wrote #will I ever learn #sorry @ anyone who wants actual plot #it's post season depression so I can only write softness #Enn writes

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revengeisalwaysanoption · 6 years ago

Text

Skam Meeting @ Gaystatale - Part 2

In PART 1 I forgot to write that, when Pietro was asked how much of himself there is in Filippo he said that inevitabily, since he is part of LGBT portaying a gay man, there’s a bit of Pietro in Filippo.

Back to the where we left off:

- So basically the question was if Ludo thought Italy was ready for S2, and he said that yes of course, there have been LGBT characters even on Rai (Italy’s national broadcaster)

- So Izzy (the girl interviewing Ludo and Pietro) praised how down to earth and real the language feels in Skam Italy. Ludovico was glowing as said it was the best praise he could get, because making his characters sound 17 and from Rome when he 35 and from Milan... Then he admitted that he got there, to deliver that ‘realism’ thanks to a long process that he and his crew have been taught by the Norwegian team, through interviews and meetings. Still, the realness has also been brought by the actors themselves who had room to improvise (and Bessegato downright refuses to write “ao’ “ and “daje” on his scripts) and showcased their talent (ALL of them).

- For the Pride speech, since he is a straight man, he felt that the best solution was to simply translate from the Norwegian and then let Pietro act it out as he saw fit.

- The only one for whom it is a bit different is Beatrice, because Sana is very far from who she is as a person, so she needs a bit more guidance and to stick to the script.

- A lot of the moments and quotes that we love the most are improvised, a part from “zozzoni” who came from Bessegato himself.

- He concluded by saying “c’è tanto dei miei ragazzi in quello che sentite” awwwwww.... (”there a lot from/of my kids* in what you are hearing”)

*kids as in a gender neutral version of ‘guys & girls” *

- Then the clip with the Gay Test was shown, and he repeated what he had already said in Rome: he got a 2, so he had to take the test a couple of times to get a 0 and direct Fede to do the same.

- The clip was used to introduce a question about stereotypes and how much Bessegato felt the need to go against them and if he felt like he succeded.

He said that he felt like he did and it’s one of the aspects he is most careful about in Skam Italia (avoiding stereotypes) especially because all S3 by Julie Andem was about breaking the stereotypes concering two guys falling in love and how a gay guy is supposed to be.

That led him to the choice of having the coming out while the boys where playing FIFA, because it felt like the symbol of “a hetosexual friendship between two guys”... But he is aware that now and then “qualche cazzata l’avremo pure detta” (we probably ended up saying some bullshit).

The stereotypes can be true, after all, but it’s important to show some other aspects of reality as well.

And of course Filippo (and Pietro) listen to Britney Spears ;D

- And that’s where Pietro added his bit about not fighting the stereotypes by marginalizing/hurting/insulting those who fit them. If the message you are trying to deliver is meaningful, you need to handle the way you communicate with great care or it will get lost.

A gay guy who is a effeminate or a lesbian who is a butch, for example, should be admired because they feel comfortable in their own skin and by the way who are we to judge others without knowing about their journey towards acceptance.

And what’s wrong by the way, about challenging some heteronormative macho behaviour (he used manspreading as an example: if one wants to be a decent human being and sit properly, he should, without worrying about not looking straight enough or something). No man really fits into the ‘alpha male’ stereotype, but straight men probably feel less bound to challenge it. And whilst his straight friend only cries when no one can see, in his own room, he feels free to do it in front of everyone, after spending two years crying his eyes out towards self-acceptance

- Bessegato knows how important it is for the audience to feel that the characters are relatable (then why doesn’t he get the need for rep? who knows) so, unless it’s a reality that he knows well by himself, he always speaks to people belonging to that community so that he can give a realistic picture. He referred to Sana again (which made us start wondering if he’s currently writing her season, huh ;) ?), saying how he is consulting with a Muslim friend of his.

- Pride clip, and Pietro underlined again how making it resonate so much as has been a team effort from everyone (writers, director, Federico, etc.)

- S2 has been written AFTER the 4th of March 2018, when we had the elections that would lead to the Salvini-Di Maio government. Izzy asked why they left Italian politics out of the show, he basically said it’s more important to show people something about worlds/realities they didn’t know about before, making them deep and meaniful so that people can empathize. He got loads of messages from people saying that thanks to Skam they had the courage to come out to their friends and family, that’s the kind of response he wishes for.

That’s what bringing politics into a series like Skam means to him: affect the society around you by showing and encouraging virtous behaviours (one of the reasons he decided not to change the coming out scene, though he was tempted too). Showing good people, instead of wasting time critizing the bad.

“I want to inspire, not to destroy” . And by the way, having a character insulting Lega (Salvini’s party) doesn’t do any good: who was already against him will say ‘yeah, I think so too’ and who supports him will go like ‘oh great, now they’re insulting me’ and it will only serve to radicalize the latter.

Again he talked about Sana and how to show a true friendship between her and the girls can come to be is more important than giving a judgement about our current political situation (giving how islamophobic Italian society can be, I do agree with him that Sana’s season is going to be quite important for our country)

- Pietro stressed that in our society, the coming out IS a political act. Trans’ bodies are a political act. Our identities, our lives... Just telling our stories is a revolutionary political act. Every day we do politics just by being true to ourselves, not choosing a way that would be more comfortable and reassuring. Which doesn’t mean you are an asshole for not coming out of the closet, though.

- I don’t really know why he digressed by complaining about how we insult him and the cast when the clips don’t come out or things were better in the og and such, but he did.

- By the way they had Filippo saying “fascisti di merda” because Rome has a big problem with neo-nazis from Casapound beating people up in Gay Street, it wasn’t a jab to the government itself.

- Effettivamente: it was really important and meaningful clip for him. He was tempted to give it a dramatic turn, with Giovanni not accepting Martino straight away. He said ‘you generally use this trick: I’m not mad about the matter itself, but about you not telling me: it’s Fiction 101.’ and that it’s the kind of conflict that would be resolved pretty soon.

(Personally: I said that when Yann went to Lucas and said “tell us what’s wrong or solve whatever it’s going on and then come back to us” he gave me the vibe of someone who would make a coming out about themselves, not necessarily in a bad way, but more like ‘why haven’t you told me before, am I such a bad friend???’ and I could tell without watching the show, but just that one clip... because it’s the way storytelling works)

- He praised David for changing the scene. He personally hasn’t seen Skam France - all directors basically mind their own business and take care of their own remake - but he gets that after SkamOG and SkamIT it was wise to have changes and that if it worked for Yann as a character then why not? The fact that we were still talking about it on Monday afternoon meant David’s change wasn’t that bad after all, huh?

He couldn’t go through with his idea because it would have been OOC for Giovanni to react that way, given how Ludovico Tersigni fleshed him out through S1 and S2 up to this clip.

Moreover, he felt like ending ep 6 on a sad note after all that happened to Martino at the end of ep 5 and up to Effettivamente would be too much.

Like Nicholas in the bloopers he said “He saw Rocco kissing his girlfriend”, instead of ‘Niccolò’, which made us all laugh ;D

- He said that he wants every remake of S3 to be loved and appreciated, given how important it is, that we shouldn’t make it into a challenge. The Norwegian team gave them Skam so that the message of love and acceptance could reach as many people as possible and that’s what all the directors care about (they sometimes give each other advice). So he personally will never take part in any feud against and back up who disses other remakes.

- Pietro: “there isn’t a ‘right’ formula. Personally, I cried while watching this clip. I wasn’t there when they shoot it so I saw it when it came out, just like you. Because its message is about the importance of communicating: Martino gets into a fight when he doesn’t know how to express his emotions, or he can’t, but then he bravely takes that little step that opens new scenarios to him... So, do we want to tell people that they are allowed to come out to their best friend and that the worst it can happen it’s telling them to fuck off? That sometimes people, even those you would never expect to, when they see that there’s something deep there, there’s a history behind it and a feeling and when you can get those emotions across to the ones you’re speaking to, then maybe it won’t result in being beaten up?

- Then every reaction, even a negative one, is still meaningful: it gives me more info about the person I came out to. Communicating opens the door to emphathy, which is also the reason why Filippo doesn’t take it to heart when Martino says those things during the Pride clip, because he knows Martino is in the middle of his journey and sees the potential in it. It’s about showing the shades of emotions that can happen while interacting.

- Ludovico said that we should be forgiving with Martino’s dad, since his reaction wasn’t that negative from an estranged father who doesn’t really communicate with his son. He said we shouldn’t stigmatize reactions that are not immediately 100% supportive and ideal.

Thanks Ludo, but no thanks. He might not be homophobic, but he still feel like an asshole to me.

- To him the crucial message of Skam is: people need people. Talk to them, you’ll find them more ready to listen than you’d expect. People are the solution, not the problem.

- Yes/No question to Pietro about Emma’s words to Martino in the last clip of episode 5... He said no, of course. People still care if you are gay in 2018/2019.

- How do they choose the music for Skam Italia? Well, it a lenghty and expensive (in terms of royalties) process and sometimes the songs we hear are not even their first choice but the 4th or 5th. Some of the proceedings became urban legends, like going to LA to get Britney’s approval to use one of her songs... Some are chosen by the music consultants, some are suggestions from Bessegato himself or the cast.

- Question about MI: he approached it with care, as Julie did in the original. He got some pointers from a psychiastrist on what he should modify to tell his story... He still ended up receiving a letter, recently, from an association of doctors who deal with these MI (he said ‘doctors’ not psychiatrists) telling him that he mixed elements from BPD and the bipolar disorder (and pointing out the inaccuracies of the OG as well, before someone uses this to diss on SkamiT) but that the end of the letter they thanked Skam because, apart from the inaccuracies it is good that someone talks about MIs a bit more in depth and that it doesn’t label people with MIs as ‘crazy’, people that you don’t wanna hang out with because they aren’t right in their heads but it’s rather a situation that can be dealt with, that can be managed and that have different levels of severity...

I also walked up to him later on to personally thank him about changing Nico’s MI, because after we discussed it and complained about the inaccuracies - he smiled when I said that - it led us all to get some more info and a deeper knowledge of BPD.

Okay, now that’s all X°D

#skam italia #ludovico bessegato #pietro turano #gaystatale

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caranfindel · 6 years ago

Text

Recap/review 14.14: “Ouroboros”

THEN: Michael. The box. Jack’s death, and the soul-burning magic that brought him back. WE’RE THE GUYS THAT SAVED THE WORLD. WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN US TOO? SAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! When that day comes, Sam, you gotta put Dean in the box. Ha ha ha like that’s gonna happen.

NOW: Cheerful music. Cooking. This guy starts boiling his pasta before he finished his sauce? No, dude, that’s the worst thing you could do. Oh, no, wait. The worst thing is that he’s plucking the liver out of a dead guy spread out on the kitchen island. I stand corrected. He fries the liver (with neither fava beans nor a nice Chianti) and then tells his pet snake Felix that he needs to make sure they’re not going to be interrupted again. He plucks out one of the guy’s eyes and eats it, which gives him a vision of Dean and Sam coming in through a door. His door, apparently, which means it’s time to go. He wraps Felix around his neck, retrieves the other eye as “a snack for later,” and heads out, leaving his food cooking and a shed snakeskin on the floor. Dude, your pasta is already mush, and now your liver is going to burn. What a waste of that dead guy.

Title card!

(Y'all, that scene made me miss Hannibal so hard.)

We’re still in the kitchen from earlier, which is going to smell like burnt liver now, gross. (And also dead guy, but I bet he doesn’t smell yet). Dean and Sam come through the door just as we saw in the earlier vision, along with Cas and Jack, who weren’t in the vision but were probably just a few steps behind. (OR WERE THEY. But I’m getting ahead of myself.) They find the kitchen abandoned, and Jack informs us “he’s cooking the body parts again.” Looks like we’ve got a pattern of victims who don’t fight back at all and aren’t restrained and are being cooked. Dean blames witchcraft.

“Always blaming witches” says a familiar voice. Rowena? Hunting with the boys? BE STILL MY HEART. Sam complains that her tracking spell isn’t doing what it was supposed to do, and she complains that she was pulled away from a glorious rosewater and vanilla oil massage, and Sam says “I’m sorry, I’ll finish that for you when we get back to the hotel.” (No he doesn’t but A GIRL CAN DREAM). She gives Cas a flirty hello but she’s not fooling me, I know who she wants a massage from. The guys figure out that this is actually the victim’s house, and then Jack finds the snakeskin. Dean theorizes it could be the victim’s pet, but Sam has already scrolled through every picture on the guy’s phone and noticed a distinct lack of snake, and also this house doesn’t scream “snake guy.”

“Not enough Pantera posters, for one,” says Rowena, AND I LOVE HER. And if anyone wants to fanfic that Samwitch rosewater and vanilla oil massage scene, I would like to be notified when it’s posted, please and thank you.

This delightful train of thought is interrupted by Jack implementing Chekov’s Cough. “There was some pepper on something,” he says, annoyed that everyone is staring at him with concern. “I’m not dying.” Oh, Jack. You poor, sheltered boy.

Back to the dead guy. Victim number six in New Mexico alone. Rowena asks if they all had blackened lips, and Dean’s all, yeah, but we’ve been focusing on the missing eyeballs and them being eaten. Which is remarkably shortsighted. Why would they not recognize blackened lips as a clue? Jack asks her if they mean something. “Darling boy,” she says, “everything means something.” Like, for example, your cough. Ahem.

Hotel. Oh, this is a lovely surprise - Sam and Rowena, all alone in the hotel, sitting at the table together, researching. She oh-so-casually mentions that the last time she saw Jack, he was dying, and now Sam expects her to accept “just some magic” as the reason. He assures her that Jack is fine and she doesn’t need to worry. She says she’s curious, not worried, and she’s also curious about how Dean is keeping Michael locked in his brain-fridge. “Because he’s Dean, and Dean is Dean,” says Sam. “He’s fine.” Oh, Sammy. What’s the difference between absolute faith, and blind stubborn refusal to accept that which you find unacceptable? Asking for a friend. He claims keeping busy is good for his brother. Rowena’s short “okay” makes it clear that she doesn’t agree at all.

“Now, Samuel, about that massage you owe me…“

The rest of TFW 2.0 is at a diner. Dean tells Cas he’s got "a pretty good feeling about bringing Rowena in on this one,” and I agree, Dean, I agree so hard. He thinks she and Sam have a good chance of solving the case, which explains why he and Cas are sitting in a diner instead of helping. Then he’s struck by a bad case of the Michaels, which makes Cas talk about how difficult it must be to deal with Michael banging away at that door all the time, and how much willpower it must take. And since the door staying locked relies on willpower, he wonders what would happen if Dean were unconscious. “Luckily, Sam’s the one who usually gets knocked out, not me,” says Dean. (No, none of this happened. But it should have.)

Dean admits he doesn’t know if he’s fine. “But that’s what I’m supposed to say, right? I’m fine, keep on movin’? That’s what we all say.”

(Sidebar: would Dean have answered this question so honestly if Sam were there? Discuss.)

He tells Cas that the pounding in his head never stops, he can’t let his guard down for a second, and he barely sleeps. (Sidebar: How is sleeping different from being unconscious, when it comes to asserting your willpower? Discuss.) “That’s not sustainable,” Cas points out. “No, it’s probably not,” Dean agrees. He blames himself for the situation, and reminds Cas about Plan B. “Coffin. Ocean. Done.”

While this is happening, Jack is in the bathroom, washing his hands and coughing up blood. He uses a little bit of his soul-magic to heal his throat. But the thing is, Jack, that you’re generally not coughing up blood from your throat. Look to your lungs, dear.

He joins Dean and Cas in the booth, and his sweet little unsettled face prompts Cas to ask if he’s all right. He claims he’s fine, which makes Dean say “See, look at that. Everybody’s fine.” This is kind of deliciously meta, because Dean knows he’s not fine, but he doesn’t know that Jack and Cas aren’t fine, and he thinks he’s only talking about himself when he says I’m dying but I’m going to claim to be fine because that’s what we do since he has no idea that Jack and Cas are also dying/doomed and are doing the exact same thing.

Back to the case. Cas says there’s a ritualistic, almost liturgical quality to the crime scenes. Dean and Jack look confused, and he explains that “liturgical” means “religious,” which is not really correct, but okay. So maybe it’s just a crazy person, not a monster. Oh, hey, like that prophet? But Jack says anyone who did this is a monster, even if they’re human, and Dean agrees. Haven’t we had this conversation already this season?

Dean gets a call from Sam - he and Rowena have something to share. We next see the guys sitting in a row in the hotel room as Sam and Rowena give their presentation, complete with visuals, and there’s a joke about A/V club being a special club for people who can’t play sports. Rowena tells them they’re hunting a gorgon, a being that likes snakes and eating people. She’s surprised at Dean’s comparison of the gorgon to Medusa, which is odd because knowing about Medusa and her snake hair is pretty basic. It’s like knowing Pegasus is a winged horse. But Dean knows about her from Clash of the Titans. Because Dean watches all kinds of movies. (Except It’s A Wonderful Life. No, I’m STILL not over it.)

She explains that turning victims to stone is an exaggeration, and in fact, they’re just paralyzed by venom, which explains the black lips. They’ve found several more deaths, stretching from Florida to New Mexico. And this one is probably eluding them because some say gorgons can “glimpse the future” by consuming human eyes. Which means there’s no way to sneak up on the guy. Distressed Sam admits he doesn’t know how they’re going to get around that.

They can barely fit these two in the same shot. I love it.

Truck stop! Our friendly neighborhood gorgon is waiting in the dark by a truck, where asks its driver for a ride or some food. The driver tells him he’s not a taxi, and not a cook either. The gorgon says he’d find a way to pay him back, and the driver is all, well, I’m not a taxi driver or a cook but I do happen to be a coinisseur of a good blowjob, so he lets the gorgon into his truck. The gorgon gives the driver a chaste peck, transmitting venom that paralyzes him and makes it easier to yoink his eye out. Snack time! We know he’s having a vision but we don’t get to see it.

I still haven’t caught the gorgon’s name, but doesn’t he look like Ash and Giovanni Ribisi had a baby?

The next scene is at the same truck stop, but now it’s daylight. Dean and Cas are investigating, which leaves me torn. Because I love Sam and Rowena together, but I hate Cas taking Sam’s place with Dean. They’re Agents Page and Jones, and I’m glad to see Cas gets his own Led Zeppelin identity instead of taking Sam’s. (Also. Is this the Agent Page badge Sam made for Dean in Advanced Thanatology? Did we ever confirm that before that episode, Dean was Agent Plant and Sam was Agent Page?)

Turns out there was a note on the body “made out to some guy named Dean.” Oh, hey, we know a guy named Dean! The note says I see you standing alone by the truck, reading this note. I see you and the tall man and the red-headed witch chasing me. I will always see you. Stop or I will make you stop. Regards, Noah.

Well, it’s EXTREMELY convenient that Noah (thanks for the name) told Dean that he sees him “standing alone by the truck,” because that allows Cas to realize that since he’s standing by the truck next to Dean, he’s apparently not part of these visions. Nor is Jack. But it also raises some questions. How does Noah know Dean’s name, and yet apparently doesn’t know Sam’s or Rowena’s? And if he can’t see angels, doesn’t he notice that the people he does see are sometimes talking to empty space? If he knows Dean’s name because he heard it in a vision, why didn’t he hear any other names? Why doesn’t he wonder about Dean’s invisible friends Cas and Jack? If he can’t see angels, why is Jack and his tiny bit of remaining grace invisible to him, and yet Dean, with an entire archangel in his head, is not?

It doesn’t matter, because Dean looks awfully nice out here in the sunlight, doesn’t he?

But the important thing, as Sam realizes, is that this means they have a shot, since Cas and Jack can sneak up on him. (Also, Jack proclaims he’s not an angel, just as he proclaimed earlier that he’s not dying. Just saying.)

Rowena says she’ll need to whip up an antidote to the gorgon’s venom just in case, and all she’ll need is a wee bit of antivenom. On first watch I was disappointed that she said antivenom and not antivenin, and I was even more disappointed that Sam didn’t say antivenin when he pointed out that it’s a controlled substance. But Google tells me I am perhaps being a bit too pedantic. However, I am correct when I say it’s actually not a controlled substances. Apparently you can even buy it online. (Sidebar: How much time did I spend googling antivenom today? WAY TOO MUCH.) But our heroes don’t have time to buy it online. Never fear; Rowena has a plan.

The next thing we know, Sam and Rowena are running into a veterinarian’s office, a tiny dog in Sam’s arms (!), begging for help. Sam tells the woman at the front desk that their wee doggie is lethargic and not responsive, and might have eaten something. The woman working the front desk is apparently the veterinarian, which isn’t how any vet’s office that I’ve ever been to works, but OH DEAR GOD I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE THIS IS AMAZING.

Rowena says Sam blames her and Sam mutters “can we not fight in front of the vet” through clenched teeth and Rowena wails that he blames her for everything and “I let his mother ride the Jet-Ski ONE TIME” and THANK YOU BABY JESUS FOR ALL OF THIS. The vetceptionist takes the dog and asks his name. Sam and Rowena obviously haven’t discussed this beforehand, and I’m expecting some kind of Bobby John situation, but they look at each other and say “Jack” because THIS DOG IS JACK. ROWENA TURNED JACK INTO A DOG.

After the vet whisks Jack into an exam room, Sam gives Rowena a confused look and asks what’s she’s doing. She mocks his usual “pretending to be the FBI” shtick and he rolls his eyes so hard they almost fall out of his head (ready to become a tasty gorgon snack). Rowena calls her performance “quite magnificent” AND SHE IS NOT WRONG.

Back in the exam room, the vet takes Jack’s temperature and calls him “the sweetest boy” (YES HE IS) and then LEAVES HIM ON THE EXAM TABLE while she goes out with forms for Sam and Rowena, and THIS IS NOT OKAY.

When she leaves, we see Jack take his own form (clothed this time; I wonder if Alex put a “no more nudity” clause in his contract). Sam and Rowena have left, and I don’t know why they’d do that. They should stay there to stall and keep the doctor busy while Jack finds the antivenom. But he gets it, and they all meet up outside, and Jack wishes he’d missed out on having his temperature taken, and I don’t know what I did to deserve this but it must have been good.

(Also, if anyone wants to continue this little domestic performance in a fanfic, maybe with Sam and Rowena having to pretend to be a couple for much longer, and then they check into a motel and THERE’S ONLY ONE BED, I would once again like to be notified when it’s available.)

Jack gets in the car they’ve somehow acquired, but Rowena pulls Sam aside and asks what they did to that poor boy, because when she cast her spell she felt some other nasty stuff going on in there. And she’s worried. Sam tells her again that everything’s going to be fine. And this happens:

You’re using dangerous, mysterious magic regardless of the cost. That’s a very on-brand thing for me to do.

Well, thank you.

Of course, Samuel, until very recently, I was the villain.

JUST SHOOT ME NOW AND I CAN DIE HAPPY. Sam’s pleased to be compared to her? She used to be the villain? She called him Sam AND Samuel? Life is good, friends. I mean, sure, if Rowena can make Jack look like a dog, she also could have made him look like the vet tech, or even made him invisible, and just let him stroll into the exam room and take what he needed. But then I wouldn’t have had this.

I’ll say it again… thank you, baby Jesus.

(Alternate fic prompt: Jack finds being Sam’s lapdog very comforting, and occasionally asks Rowena to cast the spell again, so when he’s upset Sam can just carry him around and rub his belly and say “It’s okay, buddy, it’s okay.”)

That was fun. Now, back to our gorgon. Noah has his next victim, who apparently has been promised he won’t die if he stays quiet. But then why do you want the vegetable oil, Noah, huh? He claims he doesn’t really even like eating people, but sometimes fate is “cruel and boring.” This is a profound truth. He says “ask them in New Mexico if I’m serious,” which makes me think he’s not there any more. Isn’t that what it sounds like to you? (Does it matter? MAYBE.) He also says he goes after men because women are too cautious now, which, again, is a profound truth.

Hotel. Sam’s on the phone with (ugh) Maggie, who says the only way to kill a gorgon is to cut off its head with a silver blade. I hope you packed your silver blade, Sam. There are a few refugee hunters milling about in the bunker, and Maggie says Mary is on her way back from a case. Sam thanks her for handling things while they’re gone, and she tells him to be safe, which (1) isn’t gonna happen, and (b) is Dean and Sam’s way of saying “I love you” and I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT FROM FUCKING MAGGIE. MAKE THIS STOP. (Spoiler alert: hee.)

Rowena has tracked Noah to “less an hour west of us.” All right, let’s fire up Mapquest. The first victim we saw was in Raton, New Mexico. The police car at the truck stop said Colfax County, which is the county Raton is in, and the gang is still in their original hotel room, so presumably they’re still in Raton. There actually isn’t anything except mountains west of Raton, so he must be in a cabin in the mountains. Let’s go with that. Rowena gives Cas the vial of gorgon antivenom, which will “theoretically” protect them, and sends them on their way.

Remote cabin in the mountains of New Mexico. There’s a knock on the door, and then Cas bursts in, with Jack coming in through a second doorway. As Cas uses the antivenom on the paralyzed (but not yet de-eyed) victim, Noah tells Jack he “sees” him (hmm) and then tells him a parable. There’s a black snake who keeps eating a chicken’s eggs, sliding them into his throat and crushing them there. But he can’t crush the last egg, because the chicken hard-boiled it to choke him. Noah can’t tell if Jack is the chicken or the snake.

Cas has had enough of this story, and attacks Noah, but he gets a kiss that leaves him paralyzed. Then Jack attacks, but doesn’t do much better. Dean and Sam run in, and I guess Noah’s vision didn’t show them pulling up outside his remote mountain cabin and waiting outside. It must only extend to his front door and not beyond. Well, and to truck stops.

Anyway.

Noah grabs Dean and knocks him into the wall and few times, and he falls unconscious to the floor. Sam gets knocked around, and Jack ends up decapitating Noah. Yay Jack! Jack uses the antivenom on Cas, but it doesn’t work on angels for whatever reason, so he has to use up some more of his soul. Dean is still unconscious. Jack doesn’t use his soul magic on him, for reasons that I’m sure will become obvious.

Impala!

Bunker. Sam and Cas carry Dean into the infirmary and put him on the bed. Maggie asks why he won’t wake up, like she’s new here, and Sam says it’s a head injury. “I’ll get ice,” she says. Which is useless. You know what would have been useful? An ER. Sam and Cas (and Jack, but let’s face it, Jack ain’t a decision-maker around here) drove NINE HOURS to the bunker rather than ONE HOUR to the ER in Raton. With a head injury. Not a supernatural injury that a hospital wouldn’t be able to fix - a simple closed head injury. COME ON, GUYS.

Sam tells Cas to “do it” and Cas puts his fingers on Dean’s forehead and wait. They’re only trying to heal him NOW? Nine hours later? Oh, no. Cas says he “still can’t heal him,” so okay, he’s been trying. He can’t even see what’s going on in his head. Sam is so very distressed, which is so very enjoyable to me (hi, I’m Caranfindel and I have a problem). Jack offers to help, apparently for the first time, and Cas tells him no, he can’t afford to burn up any more of his soul. Sam says nothing. (Does anyone else think maybe Sam is kind of hoping Jack will insist on doing it anyway? Just me?)

Rowena overhears this little tidbit about what’s keeping Jack upright and is appalled, and Sam’s all, not a good time (understatement). Cas leaves and Sam asks Rowena what he should do. She tells him to clean Dean’s wound, make him comfortable, and wait. And I love this because (1) Sam looks to Rowena for guidance because he literally has no one else and because she’s an ally now and in case you missed it I LOVE THESE TWO AS PARTNERS, and (b) what she says strongly echos what she said when they were waiting for Jack to die.

Sam does this thing where he clenches and releases his hands (AND MY HEART) and then rubs a hand down his face and gets a cloth to clean Dean’s face, and I’m not crying. You’re crying. But Dean reacts violently, while remaining unconscious, and we get a glimpse of Michael beating on the door. SAM IS IN MORE DISTRESS. ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. (Well, my world. Sam’s is going to Hell.)

And also distressed Sam is so pretty.

Rowena sequesters herself in the library, and Jack retreats to his room. He brought Felix the snake with him. Cas comes in, and they have a conversation about the risks of hunting, and the fact that all humans will eventually die. Jack asks “what’s the point of being cosmic being if everyone I care about is just gonna leave?” And Cas says “Everyone? What am I, chopped liver?” (No, but he should.) He says it will hurt when they’re gone, but you get to love them while they’re here. It sounds awful, says Jack, and he’s right. And then Cas assures him that Dean will wake up, as if he didn’t spend this entire scene explaining that someday, maybe today, Dean won’t wake up.

Jack asks what will happen with Michael if Dean doesn’t wake up, and Cas has no answer for that. Huh. It’s too bad you guys don’t have someplace safe you could put him just in case Michael gets out. Jack asks what’s the use of having powers if he can’t use them to help the people he loves. (A question… what powers does Jack actually have any more? Discuss.)

Jack contemplates Noah’s parable and asks Cas what it means. Cas says it’s mostly about greed, but it’s also about being willing to give up the thing you love in order to kill the thing you hate. (I don’t actually think it’s about greed all that much. Is it greedy to want to eat every day?) They’re interrupted by the sound of yelling and banging from the infirmary.

Dean is freaking out, throwing things around and yelling “where is he!” Uh oh. Michael is gone. Dean blames himself for letting his guard down (while he was unconscious?) and then yells at Sam for not letting him go with Plan A. Sam uses the Single Raised Finger of Reasonableness and tries to talk to him, but there’s a bloodcurdling scream from elsewhere in the bunker.

I love the way Dean’s expression reminds me of right after Lucifer took off with Sam in Detroit.

They run into the war room, which is full of bodies, and are met by Maggie. She yells for Sam and then bursts into angelic flame and falls dead. The camera pans up the stairs to the library and we see… Rowena with glowing blue eyes? “Hello boys,” says Michael!Rowena. Oh snap.

Sam takes out his angel blade, even though we know it does nothing against an archangel (not now, anyway) and we get a flashback of Michael (ugh, in the hat again) confronting Rowena in the library. He tells her he’ll kill her unless she agrees to be his vessel. She’s not afraid, because she knows Sam is the one destined to kill her, not Michael. Okay then, how about, he’ll kill everyone in the bunker if she doesn’t say yes? “Everyone you care about.” BECAUSE SHE CARES ABOUT THEM NOW, GUYS.

Problems with this: (1) he doesn’t actually promise NOT to kill them if she does say yes, so there doesn’t really seem to be any incentive, and (2) why doesn’t she think her fated death at Sam’s hand could change? I mean, ALL of Dean’s endings changed. Why does she think everyone except Sam is now incapable of killing her?

Anyway. Dean tells Sam to get the cuffs, presumably planning to toss the Mikewitch in the box, and Michael says that if they won’t be nice, neither will he. First he takes away their ability to breathe (and by “they” I mean Sam, Dean, and Cas, but for some reason Jack is left out of this), and then blinds them, and you kind of have to love that when Dean finds himself blind and suffocating he immediately tries to call out for Sam. Finally he just inflicts a lot of pain, and then decides it’s time to kill them outright.

Jack surreptitiously grabs something - an angel blade? - and then says “Michael,” because that’s what you do when you’re trying to be real sneaky and kill someone; you call their name to notify them. Michael blasts him, but Jack blasts back, freeing his dads from Michael’s torture. Michael says he won’t be “challenged by a child,” and Jack says “I’m not a child! I’m the son of Lucifer. I’m a hunter. I am a Winchester!” \o/ He claps his hands onto Rowena’s head and yanks Michael out of her. Michael’s white cloud goes up in flame, and Jack sucks down the remaining grace. The guys look terrified, and Jack says “Michael is dead. I’m me again.” His eyes glow gold and he gets a wing reveal. Um, happy ending? Yay?

Does this face say “nothing to worry about, I’m going to stay my sweet nougat-loving self and not destroy anyone” to you?

So. Kind of an uneven episode. Is Michael really gone for good? Because if he is, that leaves an opening for a Big Bad, doesn’t it? And I don’t like that our potential Big Bads are pretty much limited to Jack, Nick, the Empty Guy, Lucifer (please Chuck no) or someone new. Don’t like it at all. But we got a tasty Samwitch, we got the end of Maggie (who I don’t actually hate as a character, but I hate the way they kept trying to make her into a leader) and a bunker full of random hunters (unless Jack brings them back), we got an end to the tiresome storyline of Jack’s decline, we got ultra worried Sam and freaked-out Dean, we got “I am a Winchester!” We got some good things.

Oh, and let’s talk about the title. Ouroborus is one of those words I have to look up every few years, because I see it, look it up, and forget it until I see it again. It’s the symbol of the snake biting/eating its own tail, and it can represent unity, infinity, and rebirth. Well. Who does that sound like? So is Jack the chicken, the black snake, or the black snake as an ouroborus? Discuss!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. In conclusion, let me remind you of my fic requests. And please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

#spn #14.14 #recap #samwitch #spoilers

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mentalcurls · 6 years ago

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1. Sembri una pu***na

So I started the all-Skam Italia rewatch last Sunday and it turns out I have a lot to say about it. Like, four pages on Word of stuff to say. It took me three days to get evrything out and make it readable. So here, for you reading pleasure, my thoughts on ep.1 season 1 “Sembri una pu***ana”. There’s some kind of heavy stuff and I draw some parallels to my personal experience, since I was, unce upon a time, a teenager and a student at the same school all the highschoolers in SkamIT attend, and I’m also beginning to do the Bechdel test on the episodes!

The montage at the beginning is really powerful when you link the images from Giovanni and Eva’s class’s time at the Succursale to Gio’s essay, that Eva’s reading in the background, in particular the first part: LudoBesse is basically telling us how much of a waste Eva thinks her and Laura’s friendship is to Laura now

Something else about Gio’s essay (as someone who attended classico): it’s a YES from me because criticizing liceo classico is peak classico culture, it’s a HELL NO because classico is actually the best school in the world and I sincerely hope that if anyone else but himself said/wrote that kind of stuff about his school Gio would be at their throats

Eva has that “seeing someone outside the school gates and static fills your ears” moment just like Marti when he sees Niccolò for the first time! Hers is of course with Laura and Sara, who are with... Silvia and Fede! I like that they showed us a bit of this friendship that we didn’t really get to see in the og.

Martino and that iconic first “A zozzoni!” ❤️

Marti and Gio are competing for who got the best grades in the History test and I have a lot to say about this: we know Gio has really high grades (we are told he has an average of 9/10 in Latin and he got 8,5 in History) and that thing he does, bragging about it with his friend, the friendly competition between them, the actual talking about his grades without worrying who’s listening to him? That shit wouldn’t have flied for me, a once-upon-a-time student of liceo classico with an average of 8/10 in Latin, 8/10 in Ancient Greek and 9/10 in History and in part it was because I didn’t have the best classmates, but for the most part I couldn’t have done that because I am a girl (and my friends and classmates were 98% female)

girls are socialized to be humble about accomplishments, first and foremost, to avoid bragging AND humblebragging as well, and to always care about other people and their feelings; basically, whenever the topic of marks and grades came up while I was in high school, I had to try my best to avoid disclosing my own; if they were brought up directly, say them as dispassionately as possible and then try to change topic; I had be conscious of the fact I was talking someone who had much worse grades than me most of the time, so I had to keep into mind their experience of finding things I found doable (like translating from Latin) extremely hard, of disliking subjects I enjoyed (and most of the time the professor who taught them too, especially when they’d recently gotten a bad mark) and of being frustrated by their grades. I could never have competed with any of my friends about who got the highest marks (most of the time there was actually a sort of “gallows humor” competition over who got the lowest). I couldn’t show I was happy about my good grades, because I’d get negative comments from my friends (yes, even close friends, people I get on with and love to this day) who would dismiss my accomplishment as obvious, something that came easily to me because I was a nerd (the translation in Italian is “secchiona” and it doesn’t have any of the “cute” connotations pop culture gave its English counterpart) and something I shouldn’t “show off”. On top of that, if something was hard for me, it was whatever and what right did I have to complain when I had such high grades anyways, it wouldn’t be a problem in the long run.

So yeah, Martino and Giovanni, right now I kind of hate you for not having to take on any emotional labour in these kind of situations and society for socializing males and females in different ways when it comes to accomplishments and for accepting different behaviours from boys and girls.

QED Gio and Marti turn to Eva and ask her about her mark, she’s reticent but they get an answer out of her (that is not even the truth) and they mock her for it. Yes it’s all fun and games but Eva’s mark is really bad compared to Giovanni’s and Martino’s (especially her real mark) and grades are important for teens, no matter how much they deny it, if nothing else then because they influence their relationship with their parents

you can see Eva is hurt by their careless mocking, by Gio’s fake attempt at placating with “stuff she’s good at” (among which is re-heating pre-cooked food which is at the same time a way to have her “stay in the kitchen” and not even be able to properly cook) and by the way he and Marti underestimate her and laugh at her in the following exchange, when Marti shushes her and she calls him “asshole” with that annoyed face. It’s silly, “loving” mockery but it affects people anyways and it shows a lack of empathy only guys are allowed. She’s expected to take it with good grace (and this takes additional emotional labour) because it’s just for fun and they’re friends and they don’t mean it, but it’s not fair

“There are no secrets in a couple, but there aren’t between friends either.” THE WAY MARTINO PUTS HIMSELF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS EVA in Giovanni’s life, straight away! This boy. And Gio agrees! That shit must’ve been so frustrating, poor Eva.

This conversation between Gio, Eva and Marti: G: Today we’re going to Elia’s place to study. E: Oh, so that’s what you’re calling it now, studying. M: Oh c’mon, 6 minus, shhh. is the beginning of the reoccurring dynamic between them in the season that will make Eva paranoid and will bring her to confronting Laura and to cheating aka Giovanni keeping a secret, lying to Eva about where he goes and what he does, Martino enabling him by misdirecting or distracting her or Gio doing it himself, then either or both the guys calling her crazy or paranoid for doubting their words. You know what’s that? It’s called gaslighting.

[Gaslighting means manipulating a person by psychological means into questioning his or her own sanity. It’s the same technique that, according to some of his critics, Donald Trump used to get gain traction with voters (see Trump giving “alternative facts” and dubbing the media that fact checked and corrected him “fake news”).]

[I’M NOT SAYING THAT GIOVANNI IS THE SAME AS TRUMP, I DON’T THINK THEY’RE THE SAME, I only want to present an example of how this form of psychological manipulation is an actual thing in the real word and is really effective and dangerous.]

I am aware that Giovanni is just a dumb teenager trying to hide his weed habit from his girlfriend, that Martino is just being a good bro and covering for his best friend, that they’re doing this without any malicious intent towards Eva and that she’s insecure all by herself. Still, gaslighting is not a behaviour our societies should excuse, especially because it’s usually practiced by the usual suspects over women and minorities. I’d never seen it pointed out in the context of Skam Italia so I thought I’d bring it up, especially in light of S2 and of the “unproblematic” label Gio’s been given. He’s not perfect, he does shitty stuff too, then afterwards he simply grows up and becomes better. Let’s not forget about it and celebrate the person he’s become.

Case in point is the whole 1.2 Online clip. This is conversation between Eva and Gio: G: My battery died. E: But you were on-line. G: No, I wasn’t, my phone died a couple of hours ago. E: But I saw you. G: Eva, I don’t know how it happened. There must be something wrong with my phone, I don’t know. Sometimes I see you online and you’re not, too. I mean, everyone knows it happens. We can Google it if you want. E: No, it’s okay. And where were you? G: At Elia’s. E: Till now? G: Yeah. E: That’s weird. I talked to Martino earlier and he said you guys left a while ago. G: Eva, what’s wrong? Martino left earlier and I stayed till now. What, you don’t believe? Don’t you trust me? Are you insane, uh? [G kisses E] Everything’s alright. Little koala? Little koala always works. [G carries E to her room, then they have sex.] Giovanni lies about his phone being dead, then tells Eva that her seeing him online is impossible or a fluke, that everyone knows those kind of flukes happen, then lies again about being at Elia, when she tries to expose him he adjusts and starts questioning why she doesn’t believe him, finally calling her crazy and distracting her with kisses and sex. This is gaslighting.

(I had actual chills as I watched the scene again and typed this.)

Those theatre kids are so awkward, but quoting weird passages from greek/latin/italian poetry by heart is peak liceo classico culture

unsupportive boyfriend Gio shows up again when Eva suggest they go to the Easter party: his first reaction is “What? Why? You don’t even like that”, so savage, but fair Eva reminds him he’s actually a loser who, at 16, plays card to have fun with his friends like a 60 year old

Gio is being an asshole, he only considers going with Eva’s suggestion in exchange for something, then guilts her into accepting his “deal” bringing up Marti’s difficult family situation and her grades, implicitly, by promising to volunteer for the philosophy oral test, plus he’s rude and insensitive af because he brings up her inviting a friends when he knows fully well that when they cheated on Laura she got completely cut off

this will show up again, but let me just start to say it in the first episode: how unfair is it for Eva to be suffering most of the consequences in her life for getting together with her best friend’s boyfriend, when Giovanni faces no consequences that we know of for cheating on his girlfrien? And how unfair it must feel, deep deep down, to Eva

then, when she agrees, he takes back his side of the deal and Eva has to say it’s fine, it’s nothing because he says sorry and that’s socialization kicking in, telling her not to be difficult, not to be needy and not to complain cause that’s annoying and girls guys want to date are not any of those things; honestly, the emotional labour Eva has to go through

that getting ready montage, Eva really goes full on revenge mode like Lady D and she’s fully feeling her oats

the first dress Eva tries on is the same we saw Laura wearing at the party, but Eva’s red while Laura’s blue: I put all my money o it being a dress they bought together and on it being kind of their go-to dress, Eva thought about wearing it to remind Laura of their friendship but in the end decided it would only make things harder

oh, the conversation with Laura at the bar. God, if the situation is this tense can you imagine being in the same class as her and as Gio six hours a day everyday? We’ve talked about how shit it must have felt for Niccolò to be in the same class as Marco Covitti in S2, but Eva’s situation is awful too. I wonder how much of that factors in her bad grades and troubles with school

how more people don’t ship Italian Evanora is beyond me, have you seen this interaction?

on the other hand, I wonder how much Eleonora thought about it later, about how she must have come on too strong, about how maybe Eva thought she was weird or hitting on her and how much that weighed on Eleonora not reaching out first again, cause she makes a face like she regrets her life the minute Eva walks away

it breaks my heart, honestly: Eva has just been told she’s a whore by someone she once considered a friend, but when she finds this person’s new friend, who she doesn’t know, crying in the bathroom she doesn’t bat an eyelash, reassures her and tries her best to help her (so much emotional labour that women “naturally” take on themselves because we’re taught to be empathetic and caretakers even when we’re ourselves in distress)

one question: if Federico Canegallo is as popular as the Villa crew seems to be, how the hell does nobody know him when Eva is looking for “Fede”? Besides, Silvia doesn’t even react to the fact that he’s a friend of Edoardo’s when she sees him in the bathroom!

the interaction between the two Fedes kills me in every version

ok fuck you Silvia for not even saying thanks for trying and looking at Eva like she’s a decerebrate

Bechdel test: the episodes passes the test because of the conversations between Eva and Laura (nice 😑), Eva and Eleonora (though they’re mostly talking shit about other girls, so still not very good) and Eva and Silvia (though we actually don’t know her name yet at this point, we can only guess it from context, so it’s borderline). So this is cute.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

#skam italia #skamit s1 #eva brighi #martino rametta #giovanni garau #laura pandakovic #federico canegallo #eleonora sava #silvia mirabella #skamit meta #1x01 sembri una pu***ana #a. writes

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