#and I know I'm being fatalistic and I'm going to keep trying and I know that I have very good friends and a very good dad who don't care

[musical-chick-13]

Idk, I just...really hate having a brain/body that won't work. The Condition™ is so bad that I literally cannot focus on ANYTHING, even things that mean a lot to me. I can't string sentences together, doing any kind of standing physical activity for longer than 15 minutes will wipe me out for the rest of the day, and I am SO. TIRED. Sleep doesn't help. Caffeine doesn't help. Meds don't help. All of my labs keep coming back in range, and I just don't understand what's happening. What do I need to do.

[makerofmadness]

Dark Cacao Cookie (II AU)

(relevant posts: general AU post, DC dialogue post, GC explained post)

So fun fact: I'm not Christian and neither is my family but I remember maman like gave me those like cheap cardboard advent calendars around Christmas time when I was little because . Chocolate . I think sometimes I'd just eat several chocolates in a day dndndndd anyways this is relevant because You know how those like 50% of the time have really bad sugar blooms that are like. All powdery and ruin the texture but I still ate them i think even though they tasted like depression.

anyways here's chocolate with depression:

(haha see my tirade was actually relevant to this-)

He was the second to go. He had never let himself shed a tear at the Ivory Pagoda, even throughout those long, agonizing millennia spent effectively just waiting. Waiting for the day that it would be the right time. Not even being certain that those Cookies they were fighting for would come about again under a different reign. That his son would even exist in this time. That he'd never get to tell him a truly heartfelt "I love you" as his father again, and hold him in his arms.

He went on dutifully granting the wishes of all those Cookies that looked up to him. Some he developed a degree of closeness with, others would just come to him for what he could do- but he would provide, no matter how big the burden got. It was nothing compared to the feelings carried by his heart; to him, it only distracted from them. He wouldn't be like his predecessor.

...but his grief became too much to bear, and one day, after overhearing some of those traveller Cookies whisper of how the kingdom northeast had "fallen from grace." She had written to all of them just saying that she was busy, as odd as the tone of her writing read, she said not to worry about her. To keep meeting with each other as if everything was fine. This had gone on for... how long had it been since they'd last seen her, again? He realized what the wider Cookie world had yet to: The first of the five had fallen. After all that agonizing time trying to hold out till the future, had they really just been doomed form the start, wasting their time trying to outrun a fate that was waiting right in front of them to swallow them whole...?

Every feeling that has piled on top of itself had finally burst a hole through his heart, and he had to run away, to seclude himself within the Grand Temple. Cloud Haetae Cookie had to keep outside Cookies away from their master as he wept from deep within. And wept. And wept. And couldn't stop weeping. No one could reach him, if they even wanted to try. They didn't, as they tended to be driven off by the wailing from the temple...

He had never been in so much pain. Everything hurt so much. Every single memory, every feeling attached to them- all those joys and sorrows and angers alike began to blur as the agony of knowing that he'd never get to experience those days, those Cookies again- it all consumed him there alone. Every feeling led back to pain. Every feeling was pain. If all he felt was pain, then it'd be better not to feel anything at all.

Such was his last resolve. It would make everything so much easier- the cruel inevitable fate, the loved ones he'd never see again as anything but their enemy, the time dragged on to infinity- if he were to just become numb to it all. If he felt no pain. If he felt nothing at all.

By the time he finally emerged, there were still some Cookies visiting the temple, mourning his long-storied loss. Cookies who had never even known him

He decided to free them from their pain.

-

Present character:

Fatalistic. He is doing what he is supposed to as the Beast of Apathy, and does not have his own will or beyond that. At least not much of one.

He uses his sword to create endless snow storms. Those who get caught out in the snow for too long will find themselves slowly losing the will to carry on...

The Bloom of Apathy (or as it will be dubbed by the Dark Cacao Kingdom, Sugarbloom Syndrome) does not directly cause cookies to disappear the way that the Pale Ailment had. Instead, it simply makes them those the will to sustain themselves, until they become completely apathetic to whether or not they survive, to whatever may happen to them and those around them.

"Endless" is more so "until he decides to stop them." He can control how long they last, as well as the range of them.

Has never been very fond of Cloud Haetae Cookie, but never seemed to hate them- at least, he didn't let it show that he disliked them before, and he isn't really capable of it now.

His wings do not fly.

His tear flow was so continuous that by the time it finally dried, his eyecing had ran permanently.

He does not really spend time with Cookies except for a certain group, with sole exception given to Peach Blossom Cookie, but it isn't exactly what one would call a traditional friendship. It is more so that... they have a strange sort of tradition. Peach Blossom sees him come up the mountain and offers him a peach bao; Dark Cacao refuses. And... he actually may stop to engage in what could be considered small talk. As minor and flavorless on his end as it typically is...

Tends to fall silent.

Does not resist others' attempts to do what they wish around or to him, or to say what they please. He will defend himself physically, though. Not even he knows why. He thinks it's just him being driven by some unseen force of fate, but...

His dough is cold to the touch. It's also quite chalky in the bloomed spots.

He does not have much personality left, really, thanks to his suppressed erased emotions.

He does not truly wish to do what he's doing. He will bring apathy upon the Cookie World because it is what he is supposed to do. If he did not have that, well, he does not have any desires of his own anymore except to just be with his friends in peace, so he would do nothing at all.

To end this off: uh, this is I guess "spoilers" but. I decide what's spoilers and what isn't actually so

you know the spider boss? BY 3-30? (That I still haven't beaten on hard-)

. well . It has a replacement here.

And it Is Cacao.

(He would clarify that there is a difference between a Cookie becoming a dragon and a dragon becoming a Cookie- so, no, he is not a real dragon)

(Thanks once again to @driftwoodmfb for the art and also for the design on this!)

[lizzybeeee]

It's just a minor thing, but I'm annoyed at how during those missives about the South falling they start pretending like Skyhold is the only safe place that any of the population can stay in, but like--Chateau Haine was also designed to hold a huge population of people in case of the Blight! This, and a method of getting large quantities of people there using makeshift "aravels", is something that was detailed in Last Flight! The book they heavily referenced for Davrin's mission! If they were going to treat Isseya the Way They Did, they could have at least referenced her ingenuity that rescued so many people before she went mad. It wouldn't have fixed all of it but it would have at least been a nice touch. Hell if they had let us say Hawke survived, they could be responsible for leading people there because they visited Chateau Haine and know about this. It could be another of those "South repelling the Blight" counter things I saw in one of your replies, like how it makes no sense for Orlais to not ally with Ferelden out of "paranoia" in a worldstate where Celene is in charge.

Isseya & Chateau Haine

Loving the idea of Hawke (or maybe even Talis if you didn't anger her!) leading survivors to Chateau Haine!!! That's what the retreat was built for, after all! Since it's connected to Isseya it would provide an in-game reason for the Chateau Haine/aravels to be brought up as well?

I would have loved for their to be more mentions of (pre-mad) Isseya and Garahel in the game - what we see and hear of Isseya is so limited beyond her being the 'griffon boogeyman'' which really does her no justice. While we do get some humanizing moments/dialogue with Davrin, the whole time I was wondering why she was here? Bringing her back just to make her relive her greatest regret - I can get why they chose her, 'thematically', but I thought she had such a satisfying conclusion in the Last Flight. :(

(Also what happened to her when you defeat her? She just lays down and dies? lmao.)

If anything, the entire 'Blighted Weisshaupt' feels like it would better suit the Architect/Awakened darkspawn as some dark reflection of the Grey Wardens? Which was what the Architect was doing in Awakening: the inverse joining ritual, darkspawn consuming blood of the wardens, etc... That entire area looked like it could have been part of Awakening.

2. Skyhold

I was also really puzzled about how Skyhold seems to be the only fortress capable of withholding the darkspawn according to datv? The moment I read that they had brought refugees to Skyhold - as some final refuge from the blight (since Redcliffe and Denerim have both fallen by the last missive) my heart dropped because Skyhold is, comparatively, tiny.

Obviously, BioWare had limitations with their resources/engine and made a Keep that was limited in scope - I know that logically. But Skyhold is no Theirinfall Redoubt, Redcliffe, or Chateu Haine! A new player won't know it's size - but I do! I jumped off every staircase and walkway - I know that place!!! Even in cutscenes it's not shown to be much bigger!

(It's a nitpick, I know, I'm sure there's some logistics/retconning that make this less fatalistic - but how grim is it to imagine that Skyhold, of all places, is somehow large enough to house Ferelden's remaining refugees?)

3. Celene & World States

Like you said about Celene, the idea that she suddenly had such a radical turnaround in her position on foreign relations/policies (for no reason provided outside of paranoia!) was genuinely baffling. I can see it happening for Gaspard or for a world state where all three were forced into a truce - but Celene alone???

In trying to be as vague as possible about the south, they only managed to make it more noticeable that they were avoiding mentioning specific people: 'The leaders of Ferelden' and 'Orlais' rulers'. At the same time they canonize events/people like Harding talking about Blackwall/Thom Ranier and Sera? Two characters you can not recruit?

Losing the DA Keep in this game was a damn shame. It could have been a great way to have past decisions we made come back meaningfully in showing how the south of Thedas can defend itself against the double blight. It's not even a new idea! The comment I made about a 'south repelling the blight' counter was based off of Mass Effect 3 and how they used the galactic readiness meter.

You got a series of messages/cameos relating to quests you did in previous games, with people pledging to help you in taking back earth...it was genuinely heartwarming and rewarding to see how a person I helped two games back came to help Shepard. Certain decisions also could really bite you in the ass and I loved seeing that! It could have been a great way to provide closure for what choices we made through letters/missives/dialogue - showing that our Warden, Hawke, and Inquisitor did made a difference.

(It would also be an incentive to play and buy earlier games - to get a better ending! Unlike datv which really gives no incentive to play previous entries in the series.)

Just off the top of my head:

Bhelen is King -> he allows casteless dwarves to fight the Blight and support the warriors.

Harrowmont is King -> he refuses to let casteless dwarves fight and half the warrior caste dies.

If the warden is a dwarf commoner -> you can have Rica lead a coup and depose Harrowmont, becoming Queen.

If the warden is a dwarf noble -> they kick Harrowmont out and install Gorim as King.

If Branka was left alive -> she goes crazy from the blight and creates red lyrium golems or something else horrifying. To stop the golems the dwarves have to abandon Ortan Thaig.

A Dagna who was supported in her studies manages to create some newfangled rune that helps hold the tide back and she becomes a paragon.

(I recently just finished a dwarf commoner playthrough so i have a lot of dwarven thoughts at the moment lmao)

Thanks for the ask! You got my brain going with this one! :)

[lej222]

OMG I read your pinned post and I am so mind blownnnn! (Although it was a lot of info and I'm still somewhat confused) I never knew this story was so deep, but anywho I've been a HUGE aslfua since forever and now that the hiatus has come I do have a question?? Do you think that cheol and miae will end up together? (And the other characters such as jinseop and song-I since it did seem in some chapters that she liked him??) Since you did mention of miae being late(from what i understood) and Like a lot of the fandom ships them together but I've been reading other posts this just might be a story based on miae's growing up experiences of friendships and youth but idk i might just be thinking to hard but I can't get this question out of my head!! 💔

Thank you, you're kind :)

Do I think they will end up together? I believe it's possible, but it can also happen that they won't. I talked about this in previous posts, but ever since I started noticing a certain supernatural element in the story, I thought that the ending can go 2 ways, depending on Soonkki's intentions. Let's assume that the narrator, the being in Miae's dreams and the one responsible for controlling the weather/objects/some words of other people is actually the same entity. And it has been trying to communicate with Miae ever since the first chapters when Miae had a weird feeling that Cheol's shoe understood her words. In fact, looks like she paid more attention to these signs at the beginning of the story when she even highlighted her coincidental meetings with Cheol. So maybe that's why this higher power didn't attempt to talk to her directly. But what has it been doing recently? Telling her she's late, that she should have no regrets, smacking her in the face with flyers about changing one's car, reacting to Jisu's presence as if it likes him. Another interesting detail is that Jisu is also directly linked to it because he has noticed its presence, at one point he even wonders to Miae if there's some higher power involved in their chance meetings. My point is, this entity has powers beyond human comprehension that allows it to enter Miae's consciousness and even explode the lights. If we also assume it's aware of a certain order in which things have to happen (or in other words, the destiny or future of certain characters - the universe symbolism is probably connected to this), then what's happening now in the story is the culmination of these events.

BUT!

As I mentioned, from how the story has been progressing, this can go 2 ways:

This supernatural power is warning Miae that her time with Cheol is short so she should have no regrets. Miae cannot take a picture with Cheol because the one in her dresser will be the photo to stay with her when she finds it, the photo that symbolizes their beginnings and what they felt at that time. The reason for them drifting apart is probably outside of their scope of knowledge, like one of them moving away. This is something that was set in stone from the beginning and cannot be changed. Miae and Cheol are not honest about their feelings and the narrator always points out when it happens, that's why it says Miae should have no regrets, because if they have to separate after saying everything they wanted, they won't regret it in the future. A soft fatalistic approach would be the answer to this scenario in which humans have some control over their destiny, but there are things that are predetermined. How Miae and Cheol handle their relationship might be the result of their own free will, but them not working out is set in stone, or it is set in stone because they keep missing their chances even though they had opportunities. Given how the narrator gives chance encounters to Jisu as well, in this case he might be Miae's future husband for all we know.

The narrator knows a possible future, we don't know if it's truly predetermined, even if it has very strong powers. For some reason, it doesn't like Miae's indecisiveness and vague statements, so it gave up on her and wants her to move on. However, Miae's free will can overwrite the higher being's deterministic approach. By choosing her own destiny, Miae can be with Cheol and fight this power. Jisu won't be Miae's future husband, but only someone who has helped her to grow and mature as a person. Miae's love for Cheol is what changes her own destiny.

Like you mentioned, I also view this series as a growth story. So for me, the romantic outcome is secondary. I wouldn't mind any of the options I listed as long as they have a satisfying conclusion that has a message about the whole series.

Edit: I just realized I haven't answered about Jinseop. Right now, I think Song I deserves better, Jinseop seems like the type of kid who doesn't know who he wants to be and that's why he's hanging around with bullies. He is changing in the right direction, but I didn't like how he was toying with Song-I's feelings and he even called her boring. I think maybe in the future, if he learns to appreciate people like her, they could try to be together, but right now he's very immature even though I like him as a character and he's really funny. Song I is an angel she deserves someone who appreciates her kindness.

[midnightluck]

WELCOME TO HSR BRAIN ROT CLUB! HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE.

I do want to hear your thoughts about Aventurine, his connection to the Mask Fools and what it means to turn down an invite to the Tarven. >:3c

So the thing about the Masked Fools is, and I'm taking this verbatim, is that "the Fools believe that the truth of the world is a joke, and that the ultimate meaning of all things lies in mere laughter," which taken from the in-game database. The Masked Fools, as followers of Elation, think that nothing matters because it's all inevitable, or, to quote Monty Python, "Life is just a show so keep 'em laughing as you go," etc, etc. There's no point in it, there's no greater meaning, and not in the Nihility way of nothing mattering, but in the entropy way? Nihility is about irrelevance, not irreverence, and about futility. Elation is knowing that and laughing in the face of it because if nothing matters, then neither does despair.

Aventurine does not believe the world is a joke or he wouldn't be taking it so seriously. He may treat it that way, and he may think he believes that, but compare him to, say, Sparkle, and the difference is pretty clear. Sparkle, the most manipulative and scheming of all the fools we've seen, also has a tendency towards wagers that play with fire (Russian Roulette, much?) so she's a great example. However, we also see that she's more opportunistic than scheming, like with her offer to Sunday, and is in it for the entertainment, not the potential benefits.

The difference I'm really seeing here is stakes. We don't know what Sparkle stands to lose but I'm gonna go with nothing, or very little. Contrarywise, Aventurine lives by "go big or home," except he can't go home so he has to go big. I'm honestly not even convinced he enjoys gambling (and I have proof but that's for a different essay). He wagers because is audacious, it's unignorable, and it's the fastest and easiest way to get what he wants, and it's also something that once he wins, he can wave off as not something to do with him. It's all down to luck, after all, and his is better than yours, but maybe yours will be better next time; care to try again? And, as we've seen in the most recent text message convo he sends you, he can use a loss offensively. It's about the presentation!!!

All this to say, I think the Fools respect Aventurine because he's out here being visibly chaotic and audacious and they appreciate anyone laughing in the face of fate and deciding they can do it better. I think Aventurine does not respect the Fools because they're literally playing a game and he's not. He has a goal, he has stakes, and he has lost once before; he knows what it is to lose and that it hurts. They're not taking his art seriously because they literally cannot, and the fact that he has something to lose means he could never be a proper Fool.

All that said, I don't think there's any consequences to turning down the Tavern, if he was ever even invited--and that's an if because he went straight from genocide to slavery to the IPC and has been a model employee since. Though, like, imagine you're a giant company and this one high-ranking manager keeps getting public invites to join your local fatalistic anarchy group; just--just imagine that performance review, that would be hilarious to explain.

[shallowseeker]

I think it is being right so often that devastates Dean the most, if you think about it.

It makes being wrong hurt so, so, so much more. (No one's going to be right all the time, after all!)

Like Cas's being brought back by God provided fuel for Cas's sense of hubris, Dean's consistent ability to read people, identify their motivations, and make judgment calls is what grounds him.

It's when he makes a wrong move that triggers every one of his downward spirals. In season 9, he says, on making decisions that "He's so sick of making the wrong one."

DEAN: Hell, maybe I still don't. But, uh... I know I took a piece of you in the process, and for that...[DEAN struggles to say the right thing. He finally just vents] Somebody changed the playbook, man, you know? It's like what -- what -- what's right is wrong and what's wrong is more wrong, and... I just know that when... When we rode together... [He pauses, looking for the right words.]

(9x12)

Dean's life has rendered making wrong decisions incredibly painful. Almost intolerable. (Especially since so many of his decisions have been so high-stakes!)

///

Then in later seasons... it gets worse.

First, there was "choking in the fight against AU Michael" in s14

(14x09)

And then s14-15 hits even harder. It's a painful, emotionally devastating setup that results in Dean trusting Chuck and going whole-hog on the whole "God says so" thing.

It's the opposite of everything Dean's ever stood for:

(14x20)

///

Then he spins straight into denial, oscillating between that and anger.

(15x01)

///

And when Belphegor arrives, he pitches into bargaining, too, experiences multiple phases of grief simultaneously. (It's in the script only, but a close reading shows that the next few episodes underline that THIS is the deal with keeping Bel around.)

(15x01)

///

This gives Dean perhaps his heaviest dose of Nihilism yet, effectively rendering him as s4 Cas, "I don't know if you passed or failed here," with Dean saying, "He doesn't know what's God, what isn't."

In Golden Times, Dean is described as "fatalistic."

(15x05)

//

(15x06)

Yeah. I'm always thinking of s15 Dean being so untethered that he reads very as a parallel with early seasons Cas!

I can't find the line in the scripts, but I know one of them in s15 references Dean feeling like his "life work is a hoax."

///

Dean and Cas have spent large parts of their respective lives being either Right or Righteous(TM), especially considering Castiel's incredibly long military history.

Yet in season 10, Cas says this:

CASTIEL: Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst.

(10x04)

It's about trying to reconcile your own righteousness with the world, with where you are going to centralize the locus of your morality (i.e. family) in a world whose food chain spirals down so hard that following it will drive you mad if you're not careful!

The theme of righteousness becomes a poughkeepsie word as early as 4x07:

SAM: I just… I mean, I thought they’d be righteous. DEAN: Well, they are righteous, I mean, that’s kinda the problem. Of course there’s nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he’s on a holy mission.

That is where Dean fins himself in s15, I think. Grappling with what he will choose.

We see how he's grappling with it in s15, but he by no means really recovers in s15 (this is why we need ONE more season):

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

//

LEE: You don't, Dean? I am you. I'm just you that woke up and saw that the world was broken. DEAN: Then you fix it. You don't walk away. You fight for it.

The funny thing is that Lee echoes a of "I am you's" that AU Michael does. Like characters before him Cain ("you're like me, Dean") and (Crowley "see what what I see, feel what I feel") and Chuck ("the ultimate killer"), Lee is trying to pigeon-hole Dean into being who he thinks he is, something nihilistic and inhumane.

LEE: Ohh. All right. I'll be damned. Why do you care so much, Dean? DEAN: Because someone has to.

(15x07)

Dean fights back against these roles. He fights for his own heart, for his sense of CARING about the little guy.

Maybe it's not about being righteous but letting go of the idea of righteousness.

[dballzposting]

What Yajirobe does all day up there in Korin's tower is one of the biggest mysteries in dragon ball and so that's why I'm glad that in DBS they showed us that they play limbo

Korin definitely has found ways to pass the time because he's lived there for thousands of years probably and I'm not really curious about what he's up to. He's doing Korin things. Mind your business

When I was watching dragom ball I remember loving so much what I was seeing with those two but I was never able to really put into words what I was seeing .. I'm going to try but I'm going to miss a lot so please use your own heart and memory skillz to rember how awesome dragom ball was okkkk.. ❤

Why did that beautiful user draw him licking that damn cat. That was so (as one blessed user wrote in the tags:) Evocative.

I've since found out that TeamFourStar had some... interesting takes when portraying those two so I suppose that the madness of intimacy between them is not a new thing to many people... but it was NEWS TO ME so let me throw my hat in the ring a minute ...

I definitely don't think that they become how TFS did it and I definitely don't think that they settle like an old married couple.

But does he lick that cat?

Loose collection of extensive thoughts (6500 WORDS) about Yajirobe and Korin:

Master Korin is an old hermit. Like any old wise hermit, he's a crazy bitch. Hes got his idiosyncrasies. But by-and-by he can hold his own and is much more balanced and stable than some other hermits out there.

Before Goku, the last person he had up there was Roshi, like... 800 years ago? I think that was the number.

Hes been up there for probably Thousands of years. Being a hermit.

WHAT'S HE DO? He stands around. He watches Earth. He naps. He grooms. He meditates. He stays sharp. He reads little books probably (fun books). Probably has a flowerbed he waters. Makes little origami figures maybe. Weird sculptures. One pebble at a time.

Doesn't really matter.

Hes a sensible fellow. He's got good advice and he's got astute eyes. I think that when Roshi was up there for three years, he got comfortable enough to start pulling out the nudie mags (back then they weren't magazines but drawings). And Master Korin would BOP him on the head with his stick - telling him that he will never be a great warrior with a distracted mind, that he will never have a pure heart if he continues on like this-!

Korin wont allow filth like that up there. Classy depictions are one thing but lewd obsessions are another. And he tells Roshi to throw the drawings away. And well Roshi doesn't. He just hides them.

And eventually we absolutely get to the point where Korin will look at them too. Yes yes very nice. Woah. WOAH. Hand me that one there. WOAH! Eloquent handiwork here. Impressive. Nice. Very nice.

And then Korin hits him on the head and tells him again to dispose of them.

Korin wont allow that filth up there except he totally will and does. It's more than that "he doesnt give a shit" - hes a wise old hermit and he knows better than to try to control the flow of life. So he has a lot of grace when it comes to accepting events and other people's natures. When Roshi first arrived, he wouldn't tolerate it because Roshi was there to train and could still be saved. But after a while it became clear that Roshi was going to keep looking at those sexy drawings, and Korin isn't interested in the unrest of endless animosity. He says his two-cents and he will keep saying it but he cannot afford to keep getting angry. He cannot afford to lose his composure every time. This is just the way it is. And he bops Roshi on the head with his stick about it. And he isn't surprised when Roshi keeps pulling the drawings out again.

He sighs about it and shakes his head and mutters. He still cares enough to do that. He isn't a zen buddhist about it or anything. He isn't too fatalistic. He does work towards a better world.

About that better world ... He will work towards it, but he also is perceptive enough to know when to give up. For example, he admitted after Goku defeated Piccolo that he didn't really think that Goku could have really done that. He let Goku try because ... That's Goku's will, and because, well, it's a nice thought, isn't it? But if Goku had died, Korin would not have been surprised. He was willing to accept the inevitable.

But he didn't admit that until after. During, he cared enough to go against the odds and to aid the cause of good. Korin is a wise old hermit who knows how to read the tide but he DOES play a team - the side of virtue, unequivocally. Hes got opinions.

Korin doesn't just let any bastard up there and and he absolutely has standards. Hes a little bit snarky or feisty because hes an OLD CAT! But hes also pretty reasonable. And he can be nice enough.

When Yajirobe first showed up there, Korin was accommodating. And he was even impressed by his strength.

And later he tried to offer him tea. Becasue that's what you do when you have company.

And we see them talk a few times in filler shots. And they're both chill about it.

OK wait there was one scene that was so funny where Korin was telling Goku about how one has to be pure of heart in order to go see Kami-Sama. And how Goku fit those qualifications perfectly. UNLIKE YAJIROBE

^ he just went out of his way to YELL at him like this ... CHECK OUT HIS FANGS. ME-OWCH!

That's Korin. He's got quick eyes. He knew to yell at Yajirobe. He knew that Yajirobe deserved it

Yajirobe was only there because he had to bring Goku up there (twice). Okay sidebar

YAJIROBE:

He shows up in the story when it has taken an abysmal turn. A nosedive toward devastation. And we're following Goku who has snapped out of shape from circumstance. And we're watching him navigate this. And navigate he does becasue he is still alive. And it's bizarre, becasue we're seeing something that usually isn't in stories; usually stories are what is dramatically satisfying, stories have direction. But at this point in the narrative, Goku is just ... alive. He almost died. Hes starving and trying to do something about it, lest wait for death. Krillin is still dead. What's to be done, but to....do. it's.....peaceful, in a harrowing way. Unobserved. And then Enter Yajirobe. Hes not a diamond in the rough necessarily, but we are definitely digging around in the rough, or you could even say we're in the shitter at this point- and hes no diamond, but he's more than dirt. He's a shard of obsidian in the rough, maybe. Hes something. And we find him and we're still in the rough.

To elaborate further: this little dip in the story speaks of survival and persistence. Bear with me. When it comes to Yajirobe and Goku's character, there is between them an interesting tango of physical health VS higher moral spirit. First, because this part of the story is a flagging physical existence underscoring an absence of higher hope, we meet the hedonistic, physically adroit, and survival-minded Yajirobe to attend to that necessary foundation. This is a virtue that Yajirobe offers our hero now, and later on too as their characters progress through difference scenes (more on that later). This simple Yajirobe contrasts with the pure-hearted Goku who struggles to retain his character in the overwhelming mess of his enraged and wounded spirit, but through this Goku must also find a way to persist (this isn't resolved until Mr Popo beats that attitude out of him). So Yajirobe's character first teaches of treating the most basic realm (physical survival which extends into persistence of being), and then highlights through contrast the extent of our hero's honor and prowess (which, you could take as a direct contrast, or you could take as a comparison, saying that emotional/spiritual expression and sustenance is just as key for survival as saving your skin is; persistence of being is resilience of character). Yajirobe's debut being at this miserable point in the story is what creates his character for us - the shining obsidian in the rough. He's a survivor.

He is able to keep up with Goku. He swims as fast as he and runs as fast as he. When they fight each other they both remark in their heads that this is one of the strongest guys that they've ever faced (Goku had kicked him with his full strength and Yajirobe stood back up all the same...!). And he eats Cymbal like it's no big deal, against even Goku's protests.

we receive no indication that Yajirobe has received any formal training. It seems that Yajirobe has acquired his abilities by just .. practice. Out here Livin it. He got that katana from somewhere but he's just out here surviving.

The wikis identify him as the ronin (masterless samurai) archetype, right down to his outfit. This is awesome.

He is truly built different. He's fully human and entirely different. He's selfish but not malignantly. He's oriented toward his own safety, survival, and comfort, and he allocates all of his resources toward these goals, and in this he is effective: he doesn't waste time procrastinating or playing the hero (WITH SOME NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS..!!!!) He's built different and doesn't need or WANT friends. He doesn't want to be bothered. He wants the freedom to be alone. If he wanted to settle down in one area then he would have built a house. But he hasn't, presumably because before long a mailman would find him and connect him to a greater society. So Yajirobe is just out here hunting and sleeping and staying on the move. He's completely happy and self-actualized to do so.

Yajirobe can be lazy and cowardly but still, not quite ... to be cowardly implies you are going against your greater want or virtue. He never intends to be anything but SAFE, so he's not cowardly, just smart and goal-oriented. To be lazy implies that aspects of your life suffer because you don't put any resources toward them - and he never intends to be anything but well-rested and content, so hes not lazy, just comfortable. Furthermore: Yajirobe doesn't put off hard work when it's in his path. He doesn't procrastinate. He really does want to make his life enjoyable, so he doesn't burden himself by half-assing something multiple times. He saves himself the resources and the headache by doing it right the first time. If he has to swim an ocean, he'll do it. If he has to run for miles, he'll do it. If he has to fight a dinosaur until it's dead, he'll do it. He is indeed effective. He doesn't like to waste his own breath, but he is not afraid to use it to max capacity if the results will be worth it. And when he was trying to outrun Goku to earn some damn peace and quiet (and to retain the one-star ball), he was truly willing to run for this, until he found a cart of hay bumping along a lonely road. Then he was like SCORE and took a nap on it and let it move him along for him. It was definitely much more slow then running, but it was comfy, and convenient, and Yajirobe is opportunistic that way. HE WONT WASTE A CHANCE TO SLEEP!

Yajirobe is really good at securing his own survival. In DBS, in the bad future timeline, he survives like a cockroach! He really is just built different. He's a beautiful bastard

Again I want to comment on his appearance in the story ... Even when shit gets crazy and you don't think that you could sink any lower, you could always meet a guy with a katana who is HUGELY skilled when compared to the general populace but you didn't know about him because he didn't want to be found. That is always possible. Anythinf is possible

He does what he must and he takes rests when he can and he defends his own and he hides from the bullshit and he is CONFIDENT in all of this. He doesn't cut corners, and everything he does, he does with conviction. If he shows up late, he's not late - he showed up exactly when he meant to. If he doesn't want to do something, he won't. You could always try to convince him of course and you might succeed with a compelling enough argument or incentive (Ex: he didn't throw the baby Trunks out of the window because he didn't want to invoke Vegeta's ire. Ex: He'll do anything for a Yajirobe Snack in fact that's why he climbed Korin's tower for the first time), and that's all good and fine. He wont act like his mind wasn't changed if it was. Well he may try to fight against it due to an internal conflict of interest but who doesn't hedge a bit at times like that ... Whatever he does or doesn't do, he wont feel shame. He womt feel shame. He wont feel shame.

Yajirobe doesn't know shame. This is key. Well actually more astutely he doesn't know embarrassment. Embarrassment is inherently a social thing, and he just doesn't subscribe to it. He doesn't CARE if he does what's unexpected or rude. He does exactly as he intends to for whatever reason he has. He doesn't care how he fits into a general society! He'd be more angry than embarrassed if you forsake him in a social faux pas context. He doesn't feel that much shame either, but that's not necessarily a social thing, and he can feel it sometimes. If he fails to honor himself adequately he would feel shame, I think, as his one priority is always to protect number 1 (himself). Sometimes that shame may come from losing a fight, or not hiding well enough, or being stupid enough to get involved - and other times, not honoring himself means not acting on the nagging pull in his chest to INTERVENE and DO SOMETHING. I mean, he can handle a lot of life at once - he lives here, and he knows how to earn his keep here, and he has the right to be curious and hover around fights, and he has the right to have opinions about it.

He's always standing around and crossing his arms protectively and responding with animosity .... hes always making snap judgements that are completely true ... he doesn't care who you are or what your name is. You can't talk to him that way.

Yajirobe represents something special to me .... he represents an organism who is successful in being with itself and standing up for itself. Convincingly. I think that that's so beauriful and importsnt ...

Ok anyway.

So Yajirobe ascends Korin's tower becasue Goku is beaten to shit and he tells Yajirobe that theres beans up there and so Yajirobe commits to this tower. And he totally makes it. And when he gets up there Korin is impressed at how Yajirobe climbed the entire tower with Goku on his back.

And then later after Goku defeats Piccolo Daimao for real, Yajirobe carts his ass up there AGAIN and if I recall he just did that out of his own volition. WHY? BECASUE IT WAS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL. He serves those sorts of imperatives.

Yajirobe intervened two other notable times earlier in the story for the sake of Goku's survival: 1.) When he swiped his cadaver from the scene of the first Piccolo Daimao battle and revived him in a river, and 2.) When he tried very very VERY hard to convince Goku to NOT drink that super special water that was most likely poison but would possibly make Goku stronger. The latter example felt less like a character caring about the death of another and more about a debate of greater philosophical importance, like they were discussing the true rules of the world: must one put their life on the line to free their soul, or is it always better to be rational about the preservation of one's physical health? This scene was the culmination of Yajirobe's purpose in the story.

Worth mentioning: When Goku did ascend to Kami's Lookout, we get a scene where Yajirobe is sitting on the railing of Korin's tower and staring up into the sky. He admits that he's looking up because he feels like Goku might fall down at any second, and he wants to be there to catch him if he does.

^That's what I was referring to earlier when I said that Yajirobe offers Goku the much-needed virtue of survival and that there would be "more on that later." Goku is always meeting different characters who teach him different skills or perspectives, and at this late point in the story, you would expect that he meet another wise hermit type who is truly above and beyond. But instead we go backwards and touch base again with the most basic of necessities, and it's applicable in context because Goku's spirit is so wounded and confused by grief that he needs that physical anchor as to not lose himself entirely. He's Goku though and quickly reorients himself and is able to apply that virtue of persistence to all of him, and his argument trumps the unambitious Yajirobe's as the purpose of the story.

Anyway. Back to the point of my post...

As you know, Yajirobe stays in Korin tower for forever and ever. He attends the 23rd Budokai, in DBZ he trains with Kami, he hangs around during the first Vegeta battle, he delivers the Senzu Beans and then stays at Capsule Corp for the remainder of the Android Arch - ETC. But by and by. For the most part. We see him up there in that damn tower with that damn cat eating those damn Senzus!

It's no big mystery by now:

Yajirobe avoids hassle and wants to be comfortable. It's safe up in Korin's Tower. Very removed. Very quiet. There is only one (1) other guy up there and he's not THAT annoying. He mostly just waters the plants and grooms himself out in the open and takes cat naps. And when Yajirobe first sees Korin licking his little furry cat balls out in the open like that, he thinks in his head: "That's disgusting. I would never do that." But then two years up in Korin's Tower later and how do YOU think that Yajirobe is bathing?? :cry laughing emoji:

So ... Why does Master Korin LET him stay? Let's break it down:

As mentioned at the beginning of the post, Korin likes to hang out in a place of agreeable temperament. He won't turn rude for fickle reasons. He likes tea and naps and peace. Yajirobe likes those things too and spends most of his time advocating for those things.

Korin is a Crazy Old Hermit Cat Bitch. Completely insane. He's petty and all of his reasons are fickle but he doesn't think that they are. Like any good old hermit, he has no qualms with YELLING at Yajirobe. He can handle Yajirobe. He probably bites him

Korin is first and foremost an old martial artist hermit. He subscribes to a greater harmony in and with the world. His role, and only role, is to assess those who are worthy. While Goku is at Kami's Lookout and Yajirobe stays behind with Korin, Korin tells Yajirobe that he will never ride Kinto-un. I mean anybody could have ascertained that but it's uniquely Korin's role to tell him that. But Korin doesn't just sit idly by. He wants to instill virtue in the next generation of warriors. He keeps certain secrets and skills away from evil hands, and he does what he can for the side of good. And Yajirobe is some young punk who is clearly worthy in strength to scale that tower twice with Goku on his back in such a short time, but is of a wretchedly bound spirit. And Korin is a mischievous little cat hermit bitch and can't help but to see potential, or even a game when there is one: he's not going to turn down this opportunity to try to turn virtuous this bastard soul, whether subtly or not.

Furthermore: Yajirobe isn't evil. Korin can't bring himself to banish someone who isn't truly evil and who has scaled the tower with his own discipline.

Over time it becomes clear that Yajirobe isn't changing and Korin has to accept him as a person and not as a student, and honestly that's great because Korin is kind of lazy too ... He didn't want to be training this whole time like DAMN. FINALLY he can just CHILL... Yajirobe's virtue is NOT Korin's problem and that's such a relief. And eventually Korin becomes content to just watch Golden Girls DVDs with Yajirobe. Because Korin is a cat who appreciates sleepy time with a warm body.

Korin Can't Kick Him Out if he Wanted To becasue Yajiorbe is just going to Keep Coming Back because the Peace and Solitude is too Tempting and well Who is Korin to Deny Fate its Sick Little Games

And don't think that Korin doesn't mess with Yajiorbe becasue he absolutely does. He'll walk up his back and use him as a ladder. Or he'll put a flagon of ale on his stick and make Yajiorbe try to catch him for it. I truly cannot figure out if Yajirobe would give up when it becomes arduous becasue he doesnt want to waste his energy being mocked, or if he keeps at it becasue He Wants That Ale God Damnit. But wither way it'd be fun for at least 30 minutes.

So. Ummmmmmm.

Back to the thesis. DOES HE LICK THAT CAT?

Well...

I will say that I do think that they both keep a respectful physical distance for a while. Out of courtesy for themselves. Korin is a self-respecting cat hermit who is too wise to be trifled with and who doesn't want anything to mess up his fur. Yajirobe is a self-respecting vagabond who knows that his body is a temple and who won't tolerate arbitrary annoyances done to it.

I will say however that early on we have that scene where Yajirobe was stashing Senzu Benas on his person and Korin saw the lump in his clothes and thought that Yajirobe was hiding a tasty treat. And it's Korin's damn tower and he wants those damn treats so he PUT HIS PAWS ON HIM and TORE HIS CLOTHES OPEN. Very rude. Screenshots below

CHECK OUT HIS CLAWS IN THE SECOND ONE.

Korin is a QUICK read of character (of course he is...!) and after only knowing Yajirobe for a few days he KNEW that if he was stashing anything it was yummy food...! He was so sure of it and he so wanted it for himself that he tore his clothes off for it. He's such a crazy bitch

This is not a good example of them respecting the other's personal space but my sense is that it's becasue this is right at the beginning and the dynamic of Korin being a wise hermit and Yajirobe being an irreverent youth is apparent. Korin can put his paws on him. He can do what he wants. It's his tower. And Yajirobe is just some kid.

But I'm arguing that this dissolves over time. Yajirobe stays over the years and he DOESN'T CHANGE. He MATURES but he doesn't CHANGE. He lives his whole life that way and at some point you have to start taking him seriously, right? And Korin is not keen on blatantly disrespecting people. He's a reasonable guy. He respects others' free will and he respects their decisions.

He'll judge you, but he'll accept you. He won't expect anything from you other than what's wonted for you.

So he and Yajiorbe sleep on opposite sides of the tower because neither really wants to burden themselves with getting too close. They are exactly like diplomatic roommates. They eat meals together, they chat, they argue, but they have none of the obligations of intimacy. They are not responsible for or are interested in the other one's feelings.

And it continues this way for as long as it's due. But you know that Yajiobe is up there for literal years. And that there's not much to do up there but to interact with the only other bloke there.

OK LISTEN: A bit of a sidebar but not really because it is deathly relevant: They've always spoken candidly with each other. Neither of them are ever changing. Korin because he's already so old and this is just who he is and Yajiorbe because he's already perfect. And on DAY ONE they both got a read on the other's character that holds up TO THIS DAY.

PLEASE LISTEN: They both formulated opinions about the other on DAY ONE that never change. They never change becasue they are already dead accurate. Both are living authentically and both are students of nature in their own ways and both are incredibly perceptive for it - Korin KNEW that Yajirobe would never give him anything more than the spoken "-sama" and a courteous physical distance, he KNEW that he would never ride Kinto-un, he KNEW that he was somebody that you need to just YELL AT in order to get through to - and Yajiorbe KNEW that Master Korin was a crazy cat bitch, he KNEW that he was full of mystical shit, he KNEW that he was unreasonable in the way that everybody in the world except Yajirobe is.

No matter what time, no matter how long they've known each other - if you go up to visit it will go the same way. You're standing there talking to Master Korin and having a pleasant chat. Then he thinks to say something to Yajirobe, or to get his attention, or even to summon him or what have you - and he interrupts your perfectly pleasent mild-mannered chat to turn his head and YELL in some direction. Throws his arms back and YELLS. Attaching pic for reference

Just completely goes from sweet-old-grandpa to HARSH-YELLING-THAT-PROBABLY-HURTS-THE-THROAT.

He goes like

"YAJIROBI!"

and says it with an "i" and not an "e" becasue that's how he mispronounces his name in the Japanese dub.

And Yajiorbe obviously doesn't enter the room or anything. You hear banging from the kitchen and Yajirobe yells back

"WHAT?"

And Korin yells back and Yajiorbe yells back and this is how they do it. Yelling back and forth like somebody's sweet old grandparents who completely hate each other.

Let me freestyle something hold on

"GET OUT HERE WE HAVE A GUEST"

"AND WHY'RE YOU SCREAMING AT THEM FOR??"

"I'M SCREAMING AT YOU YOU DIM-WITTED BASTARD. GET OUT HERE SO THAT I CAN STOP"

"YOU COME IN HERE! I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"WELL STEP AWAY FOR A MOMENT AND COME MIND YOUR MANNERS!"

"YOU MIND YOURS AND I'LL MIND MINE! I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID I'M MAKING DINNER!"

"YAJIROBI! GET OUT HERE!"

"YOU DEAF ALREADY?"

"YOU KEEP MAKING ME YELL LIKE THIS AND IT WON'T BE LONG!"

"WHO'D'YOU THINK YOU ARE, BOSSING ME AROUND IN FRONT OF THE GUEST?"

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU UNGRATEFUL FREELOADER!"

"FREELO- I WAS GOING TO SHARE, BUT YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER!"

"MAKE IT FOR THREE, BECAUSE WE HAVE A GUEST!"

"WHO'S HERE ANYWAY?"

"IT'S GOKU?"

"WHO?"

"GOKU!"

"OH!"

[Sound of clutter and clanging. Enter YAJIROBE carrying a mixing bowl. He is stirring it with a wooden spoon.]

"Hey Goku, long time no see!"

END SCENE.

Anyway.

So That's Yajirobe and Korin. They perfectly read and completely accept the other. Neither modifies his own behavior or hamstrings himself in any way for the sake of coexisting with the other. This is just who they are. And it works out.

For decades.

I want to point out that when their relationship advances to new tiers of depth or intimacy, it must not be thought of in that manner. There are no "tiers" and we are not "advancing." They are both objective and no-nonsense people. As such, the progression of their relationship is by nature without a shred of suspense.

There are no subtle desires that are held onto until deemed appropriate to express; there are no reality-checks that yield results that startle.

They keep their space because they want to. They talk because they want to. They play games becasue they want to. Korin will claw up Yajirobe's back rather than walking up him horizontally (a known ability that he has) when using him as a ladder because he wants to. They sleep in the same space because they want to. They cuddle because they want to.

It's a long time until they cuddle like cats, but pointing it out in any manner that may evoke the word "eventually" is already giving it too much prominence. Understand that it's a gradual thing like all things and does not matter in the slightest.

ARE THEY SELF-AWARE ABOUT THIS? Yes and no.

Yajirobe doesn't care enough to do self-reflection about shit like that. One day he was barely trusted to water the Senzu plants and another day he was touching the cat's toe beans. So what. They still yelled at each other to SHUT UP every day in between. What's changed, and why does it matter? Yajirobe attaches no importance to gestures of intimacy or camaraderie - he just appreciates warmth and comfort. He trusts that cat to cuddle up and take good naps with him. All is well. So what?

Master Korin definitely meditates about the state of the world and is so aware about everything. So he is aware each and every day what is going on between he and Yajirobe. He knows when he settles down to groom that this is the first time in hundreds of years that he has settled into the crook of someone's bent elbow or neck. He knows it. And he doesn't care. Why should he? It's a fact, an event, like all things. It's nice. It's comfortable. Yajirobe can be trusted to respect his boundaries and to interact with his body in a manner that is acceptable and predictable. In the spirit of being sensible, for the cause of engaging with a greater unity - the path of least resistance right now is napping with Yajirobe.

So that's that.

Take a water break my dear ... I'm not done with you yet.

They do respect each other's personal space. But there is a point where Yajirobe picks up that damn cat.

DETAILS ON THE EVENT OF YAJIROBE PICKING UP THAT DAMN CAT:

That cat is a crafty son of a bitch and he can MOVE. His training with Goku was facilitated through Goku trying to catch him.

And Yajirobe isn't keen on grabbing that cat gratuitously. He has definitely taken many passes at him however when they play / "train" / Korin is being a nuisance on purpose and Yajirobe has had enough (like when he was tempting him with that flagon of ale and eventually Yajiorbe DOES capture that cat...)

And if one is in the other's way: Korin will just walk up and over Yajirobe (which Yajirobe HATES), and Yajirobe will either punt the cat out of the way or yell at him to move (both of which Korin HATES. Especially the kicking. It always starts arguments).

But listen. There is a point where picking up that cat becomes the path of least resistance. It will garner the least resentment and spend the least amount of time.

We get to the point where if Yajirobe is standing up at the stove trying to make his own damn dinner and that damn cat is in the way, he'll just. Pick him up and move him.

Like if Korin were blocking the flour cupboard and Yajirobe was trying to make a roux for the max and cheese then he would just. Pick up the cat. And move him somewhere else.

And Korin would be all like RRREEAAAQHQHJ like a cat does, but when he's set down he's fine. It didnt take long. He wasnt held or airborne long. Obviously it's startling to be GRABBED and FORCIBLY RELOCATED but it's over soon enough and hes cool as soon as it's over.

But still. If he didnt want to be picked up, then why did he let it happen? Couldnt he have darted out of the way?

HOW is Yajirobe able to pick up the cat?!:

On some level Korin knows that it's not a big deal. And that it's just Not Worth the energy expenditure to get away. Like how pigeons walk rather than fly away because it takes a lot of energy for lift-off: Korin COULD dart away, but he doesn't care too. He has a reason for blocking the flour cupboard (doing something, just chilling, I don't know) and he's not gonna abandon it so quickly just to prevent Yajirobe's grubby hands from touching his fur. Yajirobe isn't a big deal. Hes been there for years. He doesn't matter. And though it's an affront to be grabbed and moved, it doesn't actually take long, and Korin doesn't have to actually do anything, and he is free to express himself during, so hes not really being inconvenienced much. Deep down he knows this.

Yajirobe has gained some speed and precision during his time here. I suppose this isn't relevant here because it's not like hes trying very hard to grab the cat, but it's worth mentioning. He can be precise. He just grabs the cat. See Yajirobe didn't come here to train but like I've been saying Korin is a bit whimsical and mischievous so he's gotten his hermit due and has sharpened Yajirobe's abilities by little gambits and whatnot.

So yknow we do get to the point where A.) Korin is comfortable/trusting enough to have his guard down (and Yajirobe is not a big deal or difficult to have around) and B.) Yajirobe's movements can be hard to read/catch/predict sometimes.

WHY does he pick up the cat?!:

Yajirobe is no-nonsense and he doesn't like to waste his own time. He relocates the cat, and he does it right the first time. He's not gonna be all like "Move it furball" and then have to keep saying that because Korin moved to a random spot that is still in Yajirobe's way but just in a different way. He knows where he needs the cat and so he puts him there.

This is efficacy in the form of keeping the peace. Yajirobe doesn't care if he disrespects Korin, and when he does he means nothing by it; but if kicking the cat / punting the cat / pushing him away with his foot would cause such a fight, then he won't do it. He doesn't have the time for a fight. He's making mac n cheese.

Worth mentioning that both are probably really bored all of the time. If he doesn't grab that cat often, then this opportunity may be an enticing piece of stimuli.

So yeah he grabs that cat.

Ummm. What else is there to say........I mean I mean FURTHERMORE:

Yajirobe keeps coming back to Korin Tower. He never wanted a friend, and he never asked for a friend, but he has found someone that he becomes very comfortable with. And if Yajirobe is about personal comfort and pleasure and peace - it is very, very nice to have someone who accepts you, will have you, and who is sometimes even happy to see you. That makes relaxing easy. That makes life enjoyable. Of course he keeps coming back.

Master Korin probably appreciates the fact that there is somebody whom he knows consistently over the years. Usually when he meets someone, it's like starting over every time - but he's had years of conversation and memories with Yajirobe that they can both draw on. Korin can tell a joke and know that it'll land, and they probably have inside jokes too. And it's not like Korin has ever had, or has ever expected to have, a roommate who can be sensibly considerate. Yajirobe knows the foods Korin likes and he considers this when he goes hunting and gathering. He knows what'll piss him off and is sometimes inclined to use this knowledge for good, to keep the peace. Yajirobe may be rude, but he really is reasonable - he will do what feels nice and he'll do what needs to be done. And he doesn't mince words either. He says what he means and nothing more.

So.

DOES HE LICK THAT CAT?

Probably ....

Like I don't see why not ....

VERY IMPORTANT ELEMENT THAT I FORGOT TO WORK IN:

Do ... you know the madness of isolation? Not only that but isolation with another. Yajirobe and Korin definitely develop their own language. And since they are the only ones there, everything they do is through no one's judgement but their own. And they were already pretty comfortable with the weirdness of the world to begin with. The monotony of isolation absolutely dulls and then erases any conventions for normalcy that you had. AND WHAT WAS THERE TO BEGIN WITH? They were both already completely anti-social. At first Yajirobe wouldn't lick that cat becasue he has self-respect but he's up there so long that he grows so comfortable with Korin that he has jurisdiction over and no qualms with licking that cat. HONESTLY IT'D BE WEIRD IF HE DIDN'T?

It'd be weird if he didn't. It'd be weird if he wore judgement like a hat. It'd be weird if he denied himself anything. He licks that cat.

And the cat lets him.

Korin has just as much self-respect as Yajirobe does. He allows himself life's pleasures. He would enjoy the pleasures of trust and comfort, and he would enjoy being licked.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Korin is a wise old hermit who is a crazy bitch who has found someone who invokes him to yell "SHUT UP" to without a moment's thought for his own elegance of image. Yajirobe treats Korin with the irreverence of a mortal and it has nothing to do with a disrespect for Korin and everything to do with a respect that Yajirobe has for himself. They don't hate each other but they have disliked everything about the other's unchanging nature since day one. They feel the comfort of friendship when around each other and Yajirobe is eternally motivated to climb that tower (or use a hovercar if it can reach that altitude). Honestly Yajirobe probably just stays there becasue it's a hassle to have to climb up it again every time and he knows that that's where he'll end up anyway. Korin is a cat and he likes to be licked. End post

STAY GORGEOUS !!

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Ok, so for my own sanity I gotta try even in the smallest of ways to start being positive again. Yes I do feel most of the time that we're living in a dystopian time. However I was watching a YouTuber I follow he made a point on his last vlog that made me stop and think. 'That if we all fatalist about the future thinking nothing can be done to change it and that things are just going to keep getting worse, they will.' So the pattern repeats it's self. Instead, we all must stop doing this try as hard as we can to start looking for good again, to look where progress is being made in the world. With the climate crisis, with human rights, with the rights of women and girls, lgbtqia+ rights, Juneteenth is now a national and federal holiday in our country. Even though I say the opposite far too offen, I know there are good people in this world. I know this in a very personal way because I'm privileged and fortunate to have some the very best people in world in my life. I would not make it through without them.

I may be a realist, but I no longer want to be a fatalist.

[honouredsnakeprincess]

Righto! I have torn myself from my oh-so-dilligent art-historical studies to watch another episode of Mr Robot! That's right, it's time for my thoughts on Season 2, Episode 3! This time, I took notes, so hopefully I'll have more to say, assuming that what's under the cut is even remotely coherent~

These thoughts aren't necessarily in chronological order. I thought they flowed better like this.

Romero's dead. The first and most obvious culprit, the one suggested by both characters and framing in showing a clip of Mr Robot threatening him with a gun, is that Mr Robot is what did him in. I think it's fair to mark this as barely even a fake-out, but between him and Gideon (and Mobley referencing a plan to hide out in Arizona), it seems like the writers are trying to cut out a lot of the supporting cast from season one in order to make room for new ones this season.

This FBI lady seems like she's sticking around, for starters, since I don't think the writers would go so out of their way to show how restless and unsatisfied she is with her life and her coworkers if she wasn't going to be a recurring character. I was surprised to learn that Alexa was a thing in 2016, which is strange because I was very much alive in 2016 and probably ought to know basic things like that. Anyways, I like her, but I can't tell if her helping Romero's mother roll weed is meant to indicate she's a good person or that she's an adept manipulator. Either way, I'm intrigued~!

On the topic of manipulation, I think it's pretty obvious that Mr Price is trying to pull something, if it wasn't already. You don't just randomly take a new hire out for a fancy dinner with high-ranking executives, and indeed he did have an angle; these honourable men he invited to dine with Angela have dishonourable pasts, and he's given her the choice to strike against them. Personally, I'd wager he'll win either way; either she becomes more complicit in the structures and passive villainy of E-Corp, or he gets to use her as a weapon against men who in some way stand in the way of his own aims. Maybe I'm wrong about this, but there's no way he doesn't have something up his sleeve here.

Price seemed to profess a belief in the importance of great men when describing the WW1 paraphernalia he keeps in his office. Part of me wonders if he fancies himself such a man, or if he is grooming Angela for such a role.

Ray's been an interesting character. He's definitely got his own angle, and needs an adept computer fellow like Elliot to transfer some bitcoins or what-have-thee, in a venture that does not seem to me properly lawful. Still, towards the end of the episode he seems like he has some genuine empathy for Elliot and his situation. I don't know how similar their situations actually are, and part of me suspects Ray is overemphasizing their similarity, but at the same time I think his philosophy, though somewhat fatalistic, is probably what Elliot needs to hear to break him out of this cycle of self-destructive and ineffectual repression he's been in for the past three episodes. It's just not working out, and Mr Robot is still around.

God, the business with the Adderall, huh? I cottoned on to the cement scene being a hallucination or dream sequence pretty quick, and my notes have a tangent about the logistics of killing someone with ingested cement vs regular sand that I won't reproduce here. I've not historically been great with vomiting scenes in film and television, but this one was pretty tame, all things considered. Until Elliot started picking the Adderall out of the vomit. On the one hand, it really does sell his desperation to be rid of Mr Robot, but on the other hand it did rather turn my stomach.

The close-up of Elliot's eyes, pupils mixed with iris, was especially disturbing in a way I can't quite elaborate. I hated the way it kept cutting back to him taking more pills.

The Adderall didn't help much, and the sequence it set off was unsettling, to say the least. I don't think it's usually prescribed for DID, but I am no medicus and will happily be corrected if I am wrong on this front. I suppose that overdosing on any kind of drug isn't generally recommended for anything, though. Again, it sells Elliot's desperation and self-denial, but it also fucking sucks to watch. Poor guy.

When he ran out of pills, I breathed a sigh of relief, though it did occur to me that I know not the withdrawal effects of Adderall, and they may be quite terrible.

Elliot's critique of organized religion rather reminded me of my father. I'm not unsympathetic, but I think his argumentation was flawed. Not the point of that sequence. Marx's critique was both more empathetic and more incisive. Still not the point of that sequence.

Seinfeld is still fucking with Leon. If Elliot was not my favourite character for the quality of his monologues, that place would be occupied by Leon.

Finally, the fact that F Society's former hideout has been found was an interesting way to end the episode. Of course, the group destroyed what evidence they could, and held a party to obscure fingerprints and other biological evidence, but the logic of storytelling inexorably drives me to presume that they missed something big enough that our new FBI friend will get a lead from it.

That or someone will return to the scene who ought not to. We'll see soon, I'm sure!

[odense]

back on campus for the first time in four years and I can't even get into any campus portal to know how many more credits I need (the complications, the agonies, etc), but reviewing my transcripts and reminded that I was on the dean's fucking list every semester I spent here until fall of 2020. I'm so sad for the me of then, who was so scared, and I don't blame him for dropping out during a global catastrophe, but it's hard not to be angry in any case. I'm so close I can taste this degree, and it wouldn't fix my whole life, but I just want to work in any kind of office again and I can't get a job out where I need to go with what I have got. and I've come all this way and I knew I wouldn't be able to fix everything today, and it has gone faster in person, but now--I'm waiting again.

during the last in-person semester though, we were interviewing candidates to replace dr med ethics, who we'd thought I would work with when I came into the grad program. she passed, though, and hence my pivot to law, but now it turns out there are two whole student fund programs in her name. I've wondered if it's morbid or fatalistic to've kept her obituary, but yes, she was that significant to me. I didn't think I would go back to school at all, and then I found a way to study under her, even for a bit. and I don't think I'm going back for the kind of studies that her foundation would cover, right now, but I think I still have a bit of pride to've been part of her cohort. and she did so much, at least I can do this.

There are two holds I expect to meet, and then the matter of course availability, and then finding a way to still work when I do start classes. two part-time positions and also academics would be a slight mess but also probably my best-case scenario, so knocking wood.

also, all of this is still just for one program. the other division is... not off the table, but probably not realistic for me to return to right now, unfortunately. on the other hand, a bit of back-of-the-napkin math tells me that I've already definitely saved enough from credit-work to make up for (re)application fees elsewhere if I do want to go it again, so. and if I was that good (by coursework, as I look at it all again) when I was scared out of my gourd by the audacity of being the second person in my line to try grad studies, then if I do go back, knowing what to expect this time? I think I would really get to thrive. I hope I can keep trying.

I think it's easy to be ashamed of myself, for not having done this 'right.' for still not having it done with. but that doesn't help anything, and if I just live with that, I might as well not've come out to campus today at all. but I'm here because I do believe that I can make this work, and I do care enough about my own future to set myself up for better. Taking this physical walk down memory lane reminds me of the nightmare of outing myself to each lecturer and professor at the start of each course for years before I had a place in the student portal to put my name and pronouns in properly. and now I'm undeniably on T. this is the suck of academia, and I'll get through it too.

[andwolvesarewildthings]

BG3 Tav six song soundtrack tag game-

gloomstalker-fighter, resist - durge edition

I saw @chronurgy 's and @daemon-in-my-head 's ones of these and i wanted to see if I could do it.

the internal glimpse of everyone's characters is so cool.

If any one else wants to play! baldur's gate oc or no, I would be delighted to see!

tagging @sevilemar because i'm curious what this format would look like for your dnd character you've talked about.

and

@missbrunettebarbie I don't know if you have any characters you'd like to do this for? yours or ones you like, fun either way

no pressure, obviously, boiling things down is not an easy exercise for me.

1. an event that defines the past

durgetash netherbrain plot as a fatalistic bid for autonomy not just on his own behalf...

and resulting consequences and betrayals and the inevitabilities thus.

There's no saving anything Now we're swallowing the shine of the sun There's no saving anything How we swallow the sun But I won't be no runaway 'Cause I won't run No, I won't be no runaway What makes you think I'm enjoying being led to the flood? We got another thing coming undone And it's taking us over We don't bleed, when we don't fight Go ahead, go ahead Throw your arms in the air tonight... ...What makes you think I'm enjoying being led to the flood? We got another thing coming undone We got another thing coming undone And it's taking us over And it's taking forever

Echo He took so much from you Echo You know not what to do Echo I watched you start to fade Between the drips in the dark tunnel now I hear you call your name Echo, echo, echo, echo, echo Echo, echo, echo, echo, echo (I'm still here) Echo, echo, echo, echo, echo (I'm still here)

2. how they see themselves - post-TBI, i think? got that autonomy, and absolutely terrified.

Going Going Going I'm going- trying to stay alive Don't - down- want to be alone like Going- trying to stay alive Don't -down- want to be alone like Going Down Love it Going Down Love it I'm just tryin' to stay alive Keep the fire down Don't want to be alone Like yesterday But the durge feeling of this one is very much in the soundscape

It's pourin' in, you're laid on the floor again One knock at the door and then We both know how the story ends You can't win if your white flag's out when the war begins Aimin' so high, but swingin' so low Tryna catch fire, but feelin' so cold Hold it inside, and hope it won't show I'm sayin' it's not, but inside I know Today's gonna be the day you notice 'Cause I'm tired of explainin' what the joke is This is what you asked for, heavy is the crown Fire in the sunrise, ashes rainin' down Try to hold it in, but it keeps bleedin' out This is what you asked for, heavy is the - Heavy is the crown

3. how others see them

I'll be an animal A carnivore I'll be a monster Clenching my jagged jaws Over the capture... ... I'll be a forest fire about to flood Over an empire I'll be an avalanche chewing its rupture I'll be a killer whale when I grow up I'll be a monster

There's a war inside my head And I'm drowning in regret When the lights come down Got an empty crown My body's missing pieces Can't pull it all together

4. their closest dynamic (romantic or platonic)

past closest dynamics and it's resonating present consequences. Gortash and Orin. we have gotten to the act three who's killing who here dance and it's tearing him apart.

Come get your name Reanimate, I lose Come set your frame Assassinate, I lose... ...Come stake your claim Recalculate, I lose Congratulations... ...Something about you Is making me lock up, guess I lose

But if you're gonna make me do it How'd you want it done Is it best to sip it slowly Or drink it down in one Every time I try to bring it down You always turn my head around, oh Make up your mind Let me leave or let me love you While you've been saving your neck I've been breaking mine for you The power is on, the guillotine hums My back's to the wall, go on, let it fall Make up your mind Before I make it up for you The executioner's within me And he comes blindfold ready Sword in hand And arms so steady

5. fight scene

Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you (You can run but you can't escape) Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins (You will open the yawning grave) Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you (You can run but you can't escape)

6. end credits -

the light that is people to love and fight beside... but also being alienated by grief.

When everything was broken The devil hit his second stride But you remember what I told you Someday, I'll need your spine to hide behind For fear of moments stolen I don't wanna say goodnight But I'll still see you in the morning Still know your heart and still know both your eyes I could have told you 'bout the long nights How no one loves the birds that don't rise So you can tell the heroes go hide My sense of wonder's just a little tired But if only you could see yourself in my eyes You'd see you shine, you shine I know you'd never leave me behind But I am lost this time Are we destined to burn or will we last the night? I will hold you 'til I hold you right But if only you could see yourself in my eyes

[junpeicindystories]

CICONIA SPOILERS Utopia "Lyrical" Interpretation and Analysis

So I have seen people write lyrics for this song that is at the end of Ciconia, but I want to write my own interpreted lyrics its not finished but here is my interpretation and how it fits into Ciconia's themes:

Independent Colorful/less Rest in peace is everything and nothing we came before let it fall x2 I want to di/resolve I want to run away from everything distant love join another piece I'm missing myself I run away from my shadow run from my memory is afraid another place you'll b

first I skipped the lyrics from the beginning I didn't feel like forcing words I couldn't hear at first I only started to interpret at 0:33 of the song. I feel like my start of this one was the worst but it resonates with some themes of ciconia

its everything and nothing... we came before...." I choose to interpret at :40 like how ciconia probably like other WTC are a time loop? I'm just assuming sorry I haven't gone through data frags yet... but usually from "prophecy" etc from MIYAO is how I interpret

"let it fall let it fall" (I interpret this as some of the defeatist or fatalistic perspective within the story idk guys I'm an idiot) "I want to dissolve/resolve" either interpretation I think would work because some of the characters do want to fix things and others

want to dissolve themselves from their bodies being free from their flesh cage. "I want to run away from everything" obviously because all the kid characters are in a horrible situation where they want to escape from it esp at the Christmas scene

"distant love ????? join another piece" also I lied about not interpreting some of the first lines at 0:25 I hear "to sigh??? infatuation" sorry I had to force you away to go back to the beginning I'm like that. so obviously this might refer to miyao meow jayden

they are so close yet so far in that sense the war separates them. they are just starting to fall more and more in love and yet everything is falling apart around them the world. "joining another piece" I feel like you can interpret fragments or chess pieces idk

"I'm missing myself" I interpret here maybe from miyao's perspective cuz you know identity issues "I run away from my shadow" obviously maybe stemming from MIYAO... prollly idk and "run away from my memory" probably cuz whatever is going on with Miyao there's something unpleasant

like idk yet "is afraid" "another place you'll be" idk gusy you can try to interpret other characters perspective etc I'm an idiot and these are simply speculations. but I get the feeling there's is more escapist themes at the end or

I might be at liberty to interpret this from miyao's mother? her fear of being in the hell that she wants miyao to help her escape from? idk but obviously ciconia is a war story and the kids all have to put aside their bonds for this whether they want to or not.

stripped from their independence to be free to keep their bonds with others and put their time in staying together making more memories and being happy things like that... but of course the lyrics I feel iffy on the interpretation like resolve dissolve relating to koshka

characters who hate their own body. characters who were forced to live in dirty air fearing to go back to those cities that didn't have clean air. so... that's what I think so far... so... now you can see why my dumbass never writes analysis. I'm a rambling moron haha but ty

[chili-mango]

dammit readmore, work properly.

Honestly I just. I wish you'd put your pride and bitterness aside for me. I wish it was more important to you that I feel safe and cared for than for you to feel... I don't know. Successful? Comfortable? Justified in your rejection? Something. Whatever it is.

I just feel sometimes like you think it's more important that I stay with you and keep you feeling taken care of than that I feel taken care of. Maybe that's not true. It's probably not true.

But I feel like I DID try to ask you for what I needed to feel taken care of and instead of wanting to make sure I was taken care of, you either just straight-up didn't understand what I was asking you to do, or you felt you couldn't achieve what I needed and that made you feel like you weren't enough and you got defensive.

Which, like. I get it. I do. I've started to feel like not enough and gotten defensive because that hurt my ego. It attacked my sense of self as a good, empathetic, supportive, understanding, patient partner. The fact I started to feel like my needs weren't being met because you were too depressed to meet them even after I'd done my best to be supportive and understanding and self-sacrificing and patient made me by turns resentful for not getting what I needed AND ashamed that I couldn't be eternally patient, eternally giving.

And then when I would try to communicate a need, it seemed to be either misunderstood or make you feel terrible. So I learned not to express my needs, or when I had to, to communicate them without genuine vulnerability-- to demand, to cajole, to show frustration or condescension because I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KEEP ASKING FOR YOU, WHO LOVES ME, TO CARE FOR ME IN THE WAY I ACTUALLY WOULD FEEL CARED FOR.

Maybe if I HAD been more patient, or more vulnerable, if I'd been able to keep asking gently for what I needed, if I hadn't shut down and gotten discouraged, you wouldn't have felt so threatened and criticized. But at the same time, maybe if you hadn't been so defensive or so wrapped up in the unworthiness you felt, I could have felt like you were safe to communicate with.

I genuinely just have no idea what to do to make us work, even if, deep down, I just wish we could. I chose you for a reason. I chose you because I did think you were good enough and worthy enough and valuable enough. It's just that you having worth as a person doesn't mean I make enough money to support us both-- every time we've gotten together I lose ALL my savings AND any grandparents' inheritance trying to keep us afloat-- nor does it mean that you expressing constant fatalistic dissatisfaction with your life doesn’t also get ME thinking in depressive loops.

I can't do that. It's quite literally an existential threat to me. I would get so suicidal, I would get to the point I was constantly wanting to not wake up, hoping I would get hit by a fucking car, but getting up and going into work anyway because you were depending on me.

I don't know if you knew that, actually. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you don't know I wanted to die, and the only reason I didn't was because I thought it would make your life harder (though, I mean, you WOULD have gotten my life insurance payout; you still would, you're still listed as my benefits recipient). (Also, I promised my little sister years ago that I wouldn't do that, and I'm keeping my word.)

[someoneoffthestreet]

this new song has me scratching my head because at first glance the lyrics kind of play out like your typical love song, but I keep getting stuck on the title: "No Promises to Keep"

looking at the lyrics, I'm trying to find the narrative: that the singer is talking about this person, and how it was neither fate nor destiny that brought them together, just random chance. so now that they are parting again, the singer hopes that chance will smile on them again and reunite them. there are no promises, no "I will find you"s or other intents to search for or wait for each other, just a hope that one day luck will bring them back together for good.

(which, in Cloud's own words: "Survival is a matter of luck or skill. And you can't rely on luck.")

laying all that out, the singer insists that they don't need promises, but I feel like the lyrics almost tell on themselves, especially paired with the video that was used for the trailer. the singer hopes that a reunion is in the cards, but hope itself is a sort of promise, betraying the casual attitude to their relationship. and especially I feel the video itself contradicts the "no promises" angle, because it feels like a theme going forward is all about how being a person, being a living creature in this world, is about the promises we make to ourselves and each other, such as Bugenhagen's promise to Seto, or Barret's promise to Dyne. (this is in contrast to Shinra, which makes and breaks promises on a whim.)

the singer (Aerith) says they don't want or need promises, they'll be fine if luck doesn't go their way again. and like, I can see a romantic angle to this, I do, but in the greater scope of Aerith's story, there's something almost fatalistic to this. it feels to me like the song is saying that Aerith is used to broken promises and has learned not to rely on them, because all they bring is disappointment. this also lends a melancholic read to her Resolve scene in Remake, where Cloud says he's coming for her and she just smiles sadly and says "thank you". if we read that this Aerith has some idea of what's in store for her, then there's the idea that she knows that she cannot be saved, and that Cloud is going to carry the guilt of not fulfilling a promise that was impossible to keep. so this is a way for her to say that he's off the hook, he's holding himself to a standard she never held him to, that he doesn't need forgiveness from her because she was never holding him to the promise he made. he was never going to save her, so it was enough that he was there at all. (all AC stuff btw.)

ONE FINAL THOUGHT (and this one is a reach):

because the phrase "promises to keep" makes me think of the closing lines to Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening":

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

because maybe Aerith believes that there are no promises between her and Cloud keeping them together- but Cloud has promises of his own. the obvious one is Tifa, of course, but there's Zack, too. Cloud has to keep these promises he has made, and has to keep going, miles and miles, to where the promises lead him back home. but Aerith, who has "no promises to keep", will be parting ways with him and lingering in the woods.

[lutawolf]

When "I'm Hungry and I love you" Mean the Same Thing <D/s>

When Vegas and Pete meet again after the club, Pete is pissed. Vegas is once again blindly following daddy, and he is fucking with the people Pete cares about. They stand at an impasse with guns pointed at each other but then Vegas lowers his. Pete is slowly lowering his but then others comes along and he shots Vegas to save him. That isn't going to be the end of it though because Pete is pissed. Vegas has come to his home and made war on the ones he loves.

Vegas "I'm sorry for everything" Pete does not care because he isn't still mad about that. Pete forgave Vegas at the bar; at that time, he just couldn't live with him. He couldn't live with Vegas and be a nobody. A pet with no name. No, Pete is mad about Vegas coming and fucking shooting at his boss and friends. He is rightously made and he is letting Vegas have it.

He is honestly shocked when Vegas says "If I die today, could it be you who kills me" he doesn't ask Pete to make it quick. He'll take whatever Pete gives him. He just wants to die by his hands. Pete "what the fuck are you talking about?" because he had every intention of knocking him out, not killing him. Vegas doesn't care because if he is going to die, he is good with it being like this. " I love you Pete" then proceeds to give him a really sexy bloody kiss. Pete is so stunned that Vegas is able to gently push him away and chase after Kinn.

Pete slowly rises and chases after Vegas. He isn't running to protect his family now. No, Vegas said the words love and Pete is chasing him. When he reaches him, he is immediately concerned for Vegas. He isn't looking at Korn who has risen from the dead. He isn't paying attention to boss and friends, it's on Vegas with softness and when Vegas points the gun at Korn, He's thinking he is about to have to shoot another shoulder. When the other guards show up, he moves into a more prominent position blocking shots, but he does have his gun on Vegas' shoulder.

Vegas leaves, not waiting on Pete but Pete does not hesitate to follow. He is just taking enough time to resign. All Pete Needed Was to Know Vegas Loved Him!! He will follow Vegas to hell now that he knows that. You guys really think that kind of love happened in a week? Half of which was torture. I'm about to prove it.

Pete resigns and says these very telling words "But I cannot betray my own feelings anymore" mother fucker been in love for a while. He just didn't plan on Vegas returning them. Now that he knows he does, he is ready to descend into hell with him. Why would he say betray his own feelings anymore when it's only been a couple days? And honestly, he was angry enough at the bar that we know he felt justified in walking. No, these words are something you say when you've had feelings over time. Then if that still doesn't convince you, what about Korn. Korn is not surprised. He says, "go take care of him." He honestly has no way of knowing about Vegas and Pete, but he would know about Pete's feelings as Arm did. Which is clear in Episode 7. So, Korn knows and gives his best.

Pete catches up to Vegas and he is trying to kill himself. It appears as if Vegas has a death wish but these guys live in a world in which death is a very real possibility. There is death wish and fatalism. I mean fatalistic suicide is real thing but holds differently than normal suicide. Think of a Samera who would cut of their own heads when they lost. That is fatalistic suicide, it is a cultural thing. Which mafia culture is a thing. Vegas has lost everything from his father, his standing, his way of earning his own keep, and he thinks Pete.

Anyway, Pete catches up with Vegas and tells him to stop. Vegas immediately does. Then notice how he is trying to explain it to Pete. He is trying to tell him he has nothing. Then Pete says, "I'm here, Vegas, I'm here" He is trying to explain to Vegas that he chooses him but "why did you follow me Pete, I've got nothing left" Vegas still doesn't understand. Pete rushes to grab him and Vegas asks him to let go but Pete won't. We then have a parallel of them going down like they did at the bar. At the time Vegas was saying that he could provide Pete with care and comfort, now it's a reversal.

"Why did you follow me, Pete?" He shakes Pete off as he stands and once again reminds him that he has nothing left. Pete has helped him before and left so he isn't catching on that Pete is coming with him. "Would you stop saying you have nothing left, I'm right here. And don't turn your back on me like this. Because I'm hungry"

Now this is important. You can see Vegas literally pause, turn a little towards Pete and soften. Food is their love language. Vegas knows that Pete attributes food with care because of his grandmother. That's why Vegas prior to their relationship often offered and provided Pete with food. Bread, pork, asking if he was hungry, then making food, and onward. Food is their love language, just as it is within one of my D/s relationships.

Gif credit to @liyazaki

"Are you very hungry? Can someone else take you to eat?" Am I really who you want? Who you choose? Wouldn't someone else care for you better? "You dare push me away? You dare push me away Vegas?" "Then why the hell tell me you want to be with me?"

"I'm your pet aren't I and I am hungry now. And you walked out. So, I had to come find my owner" As I've said a million times. Pete is more than happy to be submissive to Vegas. He showed Vegas submission even before captivity. Then when their relationship developed, he easily entrusted Vegas with it again. However, before he drew the line at being a pet. Because he didn't want to be dehumanized to Vegas, he wants Vegas to see him and value him. Once he knew that Vegas loves him, it becomes a game changer. Now he is calling himself a pet. Doing whatever is necessary because he loves Vegas that much. Knowing that Vegas returns those feelings, only strengthens that more. However, I also need you to take a moment and realize we are once again paralleling episode 13. Making something ugly, that of something consensual and beautiful. Pete is completely giving himself to Vegas.

[cat3ch1sm]

🌲| okay im writing this based on some nsfw headcanons i saw on the jjk men trying to get your attention. however i CANT FIND THE AUTHOR stg the post disappeared into thin air so if you guys know who the author is pls tag them so i can give proper credit💔💔💔 enjoy reading this <333 i hope it isn't bad bc ive never written smut for gojo before😅😅😅

🌿| here are the fandoms and characters for which i write for!! also, the book the reader is reading here is titled "the beginning of everything!" it is a great read in my opinion, so i recommend it :3

🍃| also do you guys prefer "Y/N" or "[Name]?" y/n generally is a bitch in most stories, and ngl im not a fan of her myself, so i was wondering which you guys would rather me use:)) i would really appreciate your feedback so please let me know!!!

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ nsfw content ahead!! oral sex, fem!reader, degradation probably, language, gojo might be a little mean

gojo x reader smut- gojo tries to get your attention

You hadn't been so immersed in a book since you were still a child- you had been sitting on your couch for hours that only felt like minutes, taking in every word of the story. The fatalistic protagonist, Ezra Miller, never failed to interest you with his beliefs about tragedy following the fall of his former glory. His love interest, the fascinating but elusive Cassidy Thorpe, was constantly arousing questions in your mind that had you turning page after page. The other characters as well piqued your interest, and you found yourself wondering about them as well. So far, it was a wildly entertaining read, and you didn't really want the book to end.

So when your boyfriend Gojo Satoru, standing a distance away at the kitchen table, called your name, you didn't even hear him.

"Y/N."

"Y/N."

"Y/N!"

Finally, Gojo's voice cut through your thoughts, making you look up in surprise. Confused and just a little agitated, you gave him an aggravated "What is it" look, eager to return to your story.

"Damn. Anyone in there?" Gojo queried sarcastically, making a knocking motion in the air with his hand, his other arm propping his body up on the counter. "I had to call you three times to even get you to look at me."

"Yes, I'm aware. Do you need something?" you asked, tapping your foot impatiently and sneaking glances down at the pages.

Gojo pursed his lips and shrugged coolly, his piercing blue eyes glinting mischievously. "Nope- just wanted to bother you." He flashed a wide, goading grin in your direction, at which you simply rolled your eyes and angled your head lower to keep your distracting boyfriend out of your line of vision.

With a quiet sigh, you resumed reading your book, picking up right where you'd left off. You were closer to finishing the book than starting it, and you suspected a major twist would be revealing itself quite soon. Still, it was fun to speculate, and look for clues throughout the entire story.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Gojo began to act out again.

"Y/N."

No response.

"Y/N."

Louder this time. Still silence.

"Y/N."

Still nothing.

"Y/N!"

Now you were really annoyed, slamming your open palms down on the splayed-out book pages. "Gojo, what?" you demanded, your glare beseeching.

Gojo seemed unfazed by your outburst, simply tossing his hands into the air in surrender. "You wanna go irritate Nanami with me? I feel like I've been cutting him too much slack."

"I would think you'd be exhausted irritating people, seeing as you have already successfully aggravated me." You turned your head to the ceiling, blowing out air in exasperation. "Congrats. Now please don't call me name unless you or somebody else is dying. Thank you." With a bitter smile, you promptly put the book in front of your face, obscuring everything behind it, including Gojo. You knew you were being sort of bitchy, but you hadn't had a moment of real peace in a while and wanted to make the most of this.

You tried to keep enjoying your book, holding it in front of your face firmly, but now you found yourself just waiting for Gojo to interrupt you again. But you couldn't let him know that, obviously, so you didn't budge, practically glaring at the words on the pages.

But suddenly, the words were gone- as were the pages. As a matter of fact, the whole book had vanished from your hands! Blinking in confusion, you turned left and right to scan the couch cushions before facing forward again to see a pair of long legs right in front of you.

Your eyes widened, and with a groan, your gaze wandered upward until it met the face of the smirking Gojo, one hand in his black jean pocket while the other dangled your book in the air between his index finger and thumb. His arm was stretched far above his head in order to prevent you from reaching it, and his teasing grin from earlier was about a hundred times wider.

"Got your book," Gojo announced tauntingly, leaning over your stiff figure on the sofa. He swung the book back and forth a few times before stopping to eye the cover dubiously. "The Beginning of Everything? Looks cheesy." Dismissively, Gojo tossed the novel over his shoulder, it landing on a coffee table a few feet behind him.

The book hit the wood with a hollow thud, and you snapped your head up to Gojo. "Are you serious? You can't possibly be this immature." Incensed, you stood up abruptly to go retrieve your book- now you'd have to find the page you'd left off of. But the second you got to your feet, you were lightly pushed back down by a pale hand to your chest.

Gojo chuckled self-assuredly, giving you a mockingly piteous look. "Now you have no choice but to pay attention to me."

You scoffed up at him, folding your arms stubbornly across your chest. "As if. Just because you've stolen my book doesn't mean I'm incapable of ignoring you." To make your point, you crossed one leg over the other defiantly and made a show of examining your nails, keeping your eyes averted from the man towering over you.

"Oh?" You could hear the teasing lilt in his voice, meaning he'd decided to treat this as if it was a challenge. You didn't reply, eyes narrowing. Gojo let out a short laugh before bending over so his face was in front of yours, both hands in his pockets. His eyes boring into you were almost impossible to ignore, but you managed, abandoning your nails to twirl a strand of hair around your finger.

"That's a challenge I'm willing to accept." You could feel Gojo's breath on your face, his voice low, and you stifled a strangled sound in your throat as he lowered his body to the ground, settling on his knees. Gently, he placed a hand on each one of your legs to pull them apart; he managed to do so despite your half-hearted resistance.

"Shame you decided to wear this cute little skirt today," Gojo cooed, sliding a hand up your thigh to hook a finger around the waistline of your panties; you couldn't hold back a tiny gasp. Eyes filled with lust, Gojo simply pulled your underwear down your legs and let it fall around your ankles. Before you knew it, both his hands were wrapped tightly around your upper thighs and he was kissing your exposed crotch, his wet lips sending ripples through your stomach. The end of his nose was concealed beneath your skirt, brushing against your slit as his kisses gradually moved upward until he had reached your folds, where he began to plant open-mouthed kisses on your clit.

You were barely able to choke back a whimper before it escaped your throat, throwing your head back to face the ceiling. Your thighs writhed uselessly- Gojo's grip was like steel. Knowing he was already close to breaking your resolve, his arctic eyes lifted towards you, flashing tauntingly. His tongue darted out from in between his lips and slowly licked you up and down before picking up the pace and flicking it rapidly over your clit.

Now you had no choice but to react. A soft moan left your lips, then another, and you could feel Gojo smile against your thigh. Wanting more friction, you started to gently rock your hips into Gojo's tongue, your breaths gradually becoming more ragged.

"Mm, shit, Gojo..." you whimpered under your breath, one of your hands traveling down to bury itself within your boyfriend's white hair, keeping him pressed against your sex. You could feel his warm breath on your inner thighs, sending a shiver up your spine. Meanwhile, Gojo's tongue painted wet circles around your clit, and when he closed his lips around it and began to suck softly, your grip in his hair tightened. "Oh- oh, fuck, Gojo-" Your eyes dropped to look down at him longingly, moving your hips gingerly up and down with your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"So you finally wanna look at me, pretty?" Gojo questioned, his gaze more piercing than ever. "Now that my mouth is in between your legs? Is that what I have to do to make you pay attention to me?" He paused upon hearing your whimpers, smirking at the pitiful sound and letting his tongue fall from his mouth briefly to taste you as you desperately rutted against him.

"You know, I should stop," Gojo mused, withdrawing his tongue and using two fingers to gently rub your aching clit. Feigning hurt, he dropped his eyes and wistfully stared at your dripping entrance, leaking all over the couch. "I really didn't like the way you snapped at me earlier..."

"I'm- I'm sorry, Gojo, I was just in a bad mood. Don't stop, please," you whimpered, thighs trembling. Gojo glanced up at you, sticking out his lower lip in a mocking pout.

"But do you mean it, Y/N?" Abruptly, he speared two fingers into you, pumping them back and forth at an agonizingly slow pace. A broken groan forced its way from your lips, your hips pushing into Gojo's fingers. "Or are you saying that 'cause you want me to make you cum all over your fucking skirt like a pathetic whore?"

Breathless, you gasped, "No, I'm- ah, I mean it- please. Gojo, I'm sorry."

Gojo bunched his lips together, pretending to think. "Well- since you asked so politely." He leaned back in, squeezing one of your thighs, and began to lick your soaking slit up and down, paying extra attention to your clit. At the same time, his fingers took on a vigorous pace, and you let out a cry as you felt your orgasm begin to build in your stomach.

"Gonna cum for me now, baby? Didn't take much for your bad mood to go away, huh?" Gojo crooned, only gripping your thigh harder as he reduced you to a moaning mess, chest heaving.

It wasn't long after that that you met your release, throwing your head back and gripping the fabric of the couch cushions so roughly it was a surprise they didn't tear. Cum gushed from your hole, coating Gojo's fingers and spilling onto the bottom of your skirt, the sight of which made Gojo smile as he replaced his fingers with his tongue to eagerly lap up your fluids.

Gojo didn't let anything else go to waste on the couch, swallowing everything you gave him without hesistation. By the time you were done, his lips were shiny, and your thighs were sticky and still trembling as you tried to catch your breath.

Gojo only scoffed in amusement st your disheveled state, simply getting to his feet again and gazing down at you with a cocky smile on his lips.

"Don't ignore me again," Gojo advised nonchalantly, lifting two fingers to his mouth to casually suck the remnants of your orgasm off of his hand. "You know where to find the towels." Slipping his hands back into his pockets, Gojo strolled out of the room, leaving you half-naked and staring at the book still resting on the coffee table.

🍵| now that i have finished I would like to say that this is trash. fuck.