#and I kept getting stuck
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punkstylerecovery · 8 months ago
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Something that a lot of people really don't understand about having OCD or psychosis or just intrusive thoughts is how violent and/or disgusting the inside of your mind can feel and how scary that can be. It can make you want to hide everything about yourself, afraid that somehow some detail could give away what's inside your head or even afraid you might "contaminate" other people because of what your brain does.
That fear can lead to you lying to doctors, which is understandable because doctors can be truly awful to people like us, and that can lead to us not getting mental healthcare for the shame and fear we carry around, not to mention anything else we deal with.
That fear is often reinforced when we try to tell people and they react badly. A lot of the things inside my head aren't things you're "supposed" to think, much less say out loud and people aren't kind about that. People on the internet will even accuse people talking about their intrusive thoughts of being predators or abusers or claim we "should be in jail" just for things we don't even choose to think.
This includes thoughts about attacking people, murder, rape, sex, saying offensive things, ect, ect. Its normal to me, in a way, how violent my thoughts can randomly be but that took a long time and I'm still scared of myself. I'm still scared to tell people. I used to think I was a monster when I was little, somehow evil because I couldn't control my brain.
I wish more people had even basic knowledge about things like this. I think it's something children should be taught about, so that less of us grow up scared of our brains in the way I was, so that less people treat us like shit because they don't understand what we deal with.
We need to kill this ableism/sanism with fire because I am so done with it.
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jeremyjohnirons · 3 months ago
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i had strings, but now i'm free– there are no strings on me 🎵
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solarpawbs · 6 months ago
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new favourite autism creature unlocked >:]]]
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salamispots · 10 months ago
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last fam gift wip :0
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buggachat · 1 year ago
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sorry guys i gotta leave the fandom. had a dream last night that chat noir's secret identity was MY DAD all along. need time to recover
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doctorsiren · 3 months ago
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IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR REIGEN SPLIT AU. I NEED MORE OF IT 😭😭😭
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ask and ye shall receive :)
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alexturntable · 4 months ago
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pedro pedro pedro
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katsu2ji · 6 days ago
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hanta sero w/ pop princess gf!
a/n: you will have to pry sabrina carpenter's short n sweet album from my cold, dead hands and this is the result of that
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YOUR BIGGEST FAN
if anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying to you because this man right here? oh you have him down BADDD
he's there at every single concert, whether it be front row or back stage
wears his "i <3 my gf" shirt with PRIDE!!
you wink at him in the crowd and he's giggling and kicking his feet falling to his knees JAKJBABJ
literally brags to all of your guys’ friends that he heard your album and songs first
SOOO many photos of you guys (mainly him, let’s be fr) looking at each other with lovesick expressions
especially on the red carpet—ohmygod you have this man wrapped around your finger it's insane (PLEASE someone tell me they see what i did there—)
speaking of such events!!!
you guys EAT UP the red carpet. every. time.
cause my god does that man look good in a suit.
and your outfits are ALWAYS on point omg!!!
literally you guys are trending on twitter after every single event because y'all are HOT HOT HOT
your hype man while you record!!! at first he was super nervous to be in there, because he didn't want to make you mess up or do something wrong
but now if he's free on the days you go into the studio TRUST he will be there!!!
jokes around that you should let him have adlibs or do backup vocals LMFAO (he's not expecting you to say yes...unless u wanna say yes...)
but in all seriousness: he might know nothing about music, but it's good to have him around when you get frustrated or upset while recording. he helps to remind you that things don't have to be so serious and, at the end of the day, it will come together!!!
now, when you post pictures of yourself, whether they be from official shoots or pics you took yourself, that man is a FIEND.
all up in your comments like "AWOOGA" and "u got a bf??" and "HOTTT" LMFAO HES A MESS
i'm talking comment spamming, story reposts, the whole nine yards
does not gaf if people see him drooling over you!!!! he proudly let's everyone see how obsessed with u he is HE DOES NOT GAF!!!!
he has perfected taking ur pics—he knows all the angles you like, the lighting, everything
he's on the ground fully laying down just to make sure he's getting the perfect angle for you JKASKDFJ
tbh y'all are just the cutest couple ever <33 everyone is either obsessed with you guys or they're mad cause they aren't LOL LOSERS!!!!
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katsu2ji © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything of the sort with my work! i work very hard and you simply do not have my permission.
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ohbo-ohno · 1 year ago
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what happens the first time Johnny comes home with some new sex toys for reader?? Cue your absolute PANIC as he pulls them out to show you, ecstatic at the thought of trying them out when Simon gets home, and then Johnny having to do damage control when he sees how he’s freaked out his precious baby :////
YOU!!!!!! Get back here!!!!!! You genius!!!!!
1.6k, nsfw below the cut. this one’s pretty long lol it really got away from me. pretend it’s a gift since i just hit 100 followers <3
Johnny’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to you - he can literally never get enough. When you don’t wake up to his mouth licking and sucking somewhere on you, you wake up to the feeling of him humping your back. On one occasion Simon threatened to “cage your little cock if it’s all you can think with, Johnny.” So like… you know they use toys. You probably should’ve expected this at some point.
But knowing they are probably comfortable using toys and staring at the goddamn spread of sex toys on the dinner table? Two very different things.
There are things you can’t even name. You spot several different types of vibrators, butt plugs of varying sizes, anal beads, nipple clamps, a few gags smaller than the ones they’d used on you a few times, several loops of rope and handcuffs, a fucking hook that you don’t even want to think about what it could be used for, and the goddamn crème de la crème - a butt plug with a fucking tail hanging from Johnny’s hand.
The bastard is smiling. Fucking beaming, like he’s found the meaning of life in a pile of sex toys.
It’s barely 9 a.m.
“Good morning, lovie!” Johnny says, pulling you towards him and placing an oddly chaste kiss on your forehead. “We’ve got a long day love. D’you know Si’s birthday is in a week?”
You can’t tear your eyes away from the cornucopia of sex toys, hardly listening to him as he prattles on.
“Bloody unfair he’s got the anniversary and the birthday so close, means I hafta get the man all sorts of gifts in just a month.” He glances down at you and shoots you a wink, twirling the tail in his hand likes it’s a fidget toy. “Some of them are for both of us, though, so I can’t complain too much, aye bonnie?”
You don’t answer, but he plows foreword anyways. “This’ll be the first part of the gift. Gonna let Simon play with you - well, both of us, but I had to buy the new stuff for you.”
You swallow dryly, hand twitching forward as if you’re going to grab one of the toys. “Play?” Is all you can manage to ask.
Johnny hums low in his throat, tucking himself behind you and wrapping both arms around you. He takes your wrists, still holding the toy in his hand, and guides your fingers across the spread in front of you. “Yeah, lass. You like playing with us, huh?”
You shake your head minutely.
“Don’t lie now,” he rumbles, and you remind yourself that he’s just as terrifying as Simon, only in a different way. Somehow you always forget to tread as carefully around Johnny, but the deep growl of his voice reminds you. “You’re soaked when we play, wailing loud enough we had to explain to the landlord what the noise was. You like it plenty.”
You whine a little, flinching backwards into his body at the reminder of your behavior at night. You don’t like it, don’t like thinking about how much you love being between the two of them, how right it feels.
“Now,” Johnny’s voice shifts back into its normal cadence, hands giving you two little taps on the front of your thighs as he steps away. “Si won’t be back until tonight, so the two of us are gonna test these out and have some fun. Excited, lass? I’m thinking we’ll start with this, work on your posture a bit.”
He picks up the fucking hook. You can’t help but lose your shit.
— — — — —
Ghost is in decently high spirits as he finally gets home. His work had been cut short hours early, and he was looking forward to spending a night in with his two precious little pets, curled up together on the couch and maybe even having a home cooked meal. He’d have to see if you could be trusted with a knife, but the idea of watching you and Johnny dance around each other in the kitchen is enough for him even if he doesn’t get to see it realized.
That all goes out the window when he steps into the flat.
He can hear the two of you, Johnny’s voice a little urgent and yours more than a little panicked. Not the most unusual thing, but the absolutely demolished living room is.
He and Johnny hadn’t decorated much - neither of them had an eye for it and once they got you they wanted to let you decorate your new home - but what little they had done is out of place. A picture frame on the floor, dining room chairs feet away from the table and knocked over, a goddamn knife stabbed into a side table next to the slightly askew couch.
And a shit load of sex toys, both on the dining room table and the floor all around it.
It barely takes a heartbeat for Ghost to piece together what’s happened. He sighs wearily, resists the urge to rub at his eyes with his forefinger and thumb so he doesn’t track paint all across the house.
He moves further into their home, heading straight for the bedroom. Sure enough, Johnny’s got you cornered. You’re slid down on the floor, back pushed as far into the wall as you can go and knees tucked up under you.
Johnny’s crouched in front of you, one hand holding both of your wrists securely in front of you and the other holding your ankles together. He’s got scratches down his face and arms, a few that are seeping just a bit of blood, and a nasty bruise forming on one cheek.
He’s also rock hard in his sweatpants.
Both of you snap your eyes to Simon when he steps in the room. Johnny’s expression is pure relief, but yours is a mix of what looks like relief and fear. There’s a little spark in Ghost’s chest at the knowledge that you see him as a helping hand here, even against what’s probably your better judgement.
He tilts his head a bit. “Johnny.” Not a question, but an expectation.
“She freaked out on me, L.t.,” Johnny says - nearly whines - eyes big and pleading.
“Because you-!” You start up, thrashing in Johnny’s grip. “You fucking bastard, I was defending myself!”
“Against me?” Johnny makes a sad noise, one Simon knows is more manipulative than it sounds, leaning in to hover over you even more. “Baby, you know I’d never hurt you. How could you think that, huh?”
“You wanted to stick a fucking hook up my ass!”
That gets a raised eyebrow from Simon. Seems Johnny’s plans for the day were far more exciting than he had let on.
Johnny can’t help but bark out a laugh, which gets a little scream of rage from you and reinvigorates your thrashing. Johnny leans more weight into you, pulling your wrists further out to keep you off balance. It just works you up more, and Ghost can see Johnny’s cock twitch in his pants.
Alright. Time to do damage control.
He steps into the corner with the two of you, lays a heavy hand on Johnny’s nape and squeezes. His boy doesn’t let go immediately, but he does go loose, leaning one shoulder onto a wall and blocking less of your body.
You’re heaving as Simin crouches down, but your eyes are dry. A good sign for the progress you’ve made.
Simon brings his other hand up to grab your chin, pulling it up and forcing eye contact. “Didn’t want to play around with Johnny, love?”
You’re a little scared - always are, when he comes home with the mask and the makeup - but you don’t tear your eyes from his. Your tiny chin quivers in his grip, but you don’t cry. He can’t help but feel a surge of pride for you and your strength
“I didn’t want him fucking with me. I’m allowed to say no,” you hike you chin in the air a little, stiff and all but daring him to disagree.
He doesn’t play into your hands, just hums and strokes both of his thumbs - one over your chin and the other over Johnny’s neck. “You are,” he agrees, fighting down a smirk at the clear shock on your face. “But did you give Johnny a chance?”
“No-“ Johnny pouts, huffing and shifting in place.
“Quiet,” Simon growls, hand squeezing just past comfortable on his neck. “You’re already in trouble for doing all this shit without askin’. Keep pushin’ and you won’t be sleeping in bed tonight.”
That gets a whine, but no more arguing. Good.
You look a little confused when Ghost turns his attention back to you, but he doesn’t bother explaining.
“You are allowed to say no,” he starts again. “But you should give new things a chance. What if you’d liked having,” he can’t resist a smirk, let’s it seep into his tone, “a hook up your ass?”
You flinch back, and Simon bites down a sigh. You’re not in a place for joking yet, apparently.
He stays crouched there for a few minutes, petting both you and Johnny and watching as you both go limp - Johnny quickly, you with a little more work.
“Alright,” he days eventually, standing and tugging the both of you up with him. “Let’s rest for a bit, get the two of you calmed down, and then we’ll talk punishment.”
You and Johnny wear matching pouts, and Simon doesn’t even fight the smile as he tugs all three of you into bed.
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lost-in-fandoms · 2 months ago
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seven words: max w stubble burn on inner thighs
Hello friend, I'm sorry this took so long, the weekend was....that.
cw: explicit sexual content. obviously.
It had come up, once.
Daniel had been in the bathroom, carefully shaving, trying to see on the fogged up mirror, Max just coming out of the shower, wet and flushed, carelessly wrapping a towel around his hips.
"Why do you do that?" Max had asked, coming closer to press his warm chest against Daniel's naked back, hooking his chin on top of Daniel's shoulder, dangerously close to Daniel's still foamed up cheek.
"Do what?" Daniel had nudged him back a little, not wanting to accidentally cut him but not wanting him to let go either, trying to meet Max's eyes in the mirror and only getting a blurred version of them back.
"Shave," Max had said, kissing Daniel's shoulder, hips grinding slightly against him even though he wasn't hard, from what Daniel could tell through the towel.
"You shave too," Daniel had pointed out, nudging him again to be able to tilt his head back to get his jaw better.
Max had just waved a hand, as if Daniel was being stupid on purpose, and had then touched his wrist, stopping his movement and taking the razor from him. He had turned him around, pushing him against the sink, and cupped his neck with a hand, holding him still.
"You can't see in the mirror and are making a mess," he had said, steady and casual, a complete opposite from Daniel's heartbeat, racing in his chest.
"What do you mean, about my shaving?" he had asked after a moment, trying to distract himself from the feeling of Max's fingertips on his skin, his hips keeping Daniel in place.
For a long moment, Max had kept quiet, focusing on Daniel's face.
"I cannot grow a good one, that's why I shave it. And I would not look good in it, I think," he had finally said, glaring at Daniel when he had tried to speak to refute that last point, making him stay still. "But you take care of it, so I do not understand why you keep shaving it."
Daniel had frown, receiving one more look for it, and then had asked: "do you not like it?", which had gained him another. Honestly, how did Max want him to answer questions if he couldn't move?
"You are of course always very handsome, Daniel," Max had rolled his eyes, carefully going over an area Daniel was pretty sure he had already shaved. It had been unclear if it was to prolong the process or because Daniel had missed a spot.
The full answer, obviously, had been too complicated to be put into the right amount of words that wouldn't have ended up with a razor cut on his cheek, so he had deflected instead.
"I do it for you, baby," he had said, using a pause in the shaving in which Max had been rinsing off the razor to throw him a grin, "wouldn't want to give you beard burn."
He had been expecting Max to joke back, or to roll his eyes at him, but Max had averted his eyes instead, a blush creeping suspiciously onto his cheeks.
It had made Daniel raise an eyebrow, suddenly delighted with this new information.
"Unless you like it?" he had prodded, unable to stop his smile from growing.
Max had just blushed more, slapping his shoulder and grabbing his jaw a touch harder than necessary.
"Shut up," he had grumbled, more of a yes than if he had actually said it, "or I'll leave you like this."
Daniel had wanted to tease him more, but he hadn't known how real the threat was, and he had decided to be safe, not wanting to have to walk around with just half a shaved face.
--
No matter what happens in the rest of his life, both on and off track, Daniel is sure he'll never stop feeling lucky knowing he's the only one who gets to have Max like this.
Max, sweating and writhing under him, chest flushed and warm, cheeks a mess of spit and tears, mouth open and drooling. Max, spilling moans, whimpers and pleas on the pillow like a rosary, pearls stringing Daniel's arousal along.
Max, trying to push closer and twist away at the same time, oversensitive and overwhelmed, while Daniel holds him still, both hands clutching the meat of his ass, red imprints on pale skin, as he licks a long, wet stripe from his hole to his balls.
From his position between Max's legs, most of the skin Daniel can see is flushed red. His dick, red and heavy despite Max having come once already, his back, red and shiny with sweat, his ass and thighs, red and raw from Daniel's beard.
He nips at the top of Max's thigh, right over a mark he had left earlier, and Max's whole body shakes as he yelps, hands slipping uselessly on the sheets looking for something to hold onto, even Daniel's name reduced to nothing more than a slurred mess on his tongue.
Daniel licks another stripe back up, purposefully dragging his beard on Max's ass. He would almost feel bad about it if he didn't know how much Max likes it, despite complaining about it the day after, when Daniel has to rub lotion into the irritated skin. If he didn't feel the way Max's thighs shake, didn't hear the way Max's moans go high and breathy.
He doesn't give him a break before shifting his grip on Max's cheeks, putting two fingers back in his hole, tongue tucked between them. Max screams, pushing back and then immediately away, forcing Daniel to wrap his arm around his waist to hold his hips up.
He feels so lucky.
His whole face feels sticky with spit and lube when he pulls back again, watching Max's hole fluttering around the newfound emptiness, leaving Max whimpering. His dick has been so hard for so long Daniel is half worried it will fall off if he doesn't do something about it soon.
He slips a condom on as Max begs for him, impatiently shifting on the bed, so far gone he's moaning even now that Daniel is barely touching him.
He knows it won't take long for either of them to come, but it doesn't matter, not when Max feels so good around him, not when they're both so worked up.
"Bath?" Daniel asks afterwards, drawing circles on Max's back as their breathing slows down.
Max is still pink, heartbeat fast under Daniel's hands, slumped boneless and sated against his chest. He hums, not even opening his eyes, and there's something like pride swirling in Daniel's stomach at the knowledge that he was the one who made him like this.
He trails one hand down further, gently touching Max's ass where his skin is red and raw, making him shudder.
"I'll shave tomorrow," he says, ignoring Max's displeased grumble, "and I'll make sure to use plenty of that lotion you like."
Max grumbles again, rubbing his cheek against Daniel's skin like a cat, sleepy and satisfied.
"You better," he says, sounding more than half asleep already, as if all of this hadn't been his idea anyway.
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hdusa · 1 month ago
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printer zam.... would you ever consider uploading lore streams into clipped down vids for a second channel.....
fuuuuuuuck I should just continue the 2nd channel abyss stuff with just clips of the super important stuff with zero cuts unless it’s for a big jump 😭😭
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dapling · 2 months ago
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C'mere
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fairycosmos · 1 year ago
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thinking about life is a lot worse than just living life
i am literally going to lose my fucking mind. stop saying horrifically real things
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foxprints · 1 year ago
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SecUnit character design sheet!
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treasureplcnet · 1 year ago
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also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill
#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY:#i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by)#weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop--#--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but#how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable#and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts#so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like#kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead#there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him..#just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop#im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE.#THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME#now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts#karl weissman#bodies 2023#bodies netflix#sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to#personal
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purplesoup-lad-le · 1 day ago
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Golden Boy (and a ceaseless watcher)
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