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milktiicup · 3 days ago
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are you afraid of me?
what the hell type of name is "mr. crawling" if he can fucking walk?
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ based on the hc that mr crawling doesn't stand so he doesn't scare mc.
warnings. just fluff/comfort, some spoilers for end04 and end17
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Mr. Crawling is kind.
Mr. Crawling is sweet.
Mr. Crawling is a complete mystery to you.
Other than his complete and instant devotion to you, you know almost nothing about him. Not that you’re complaining; since escaping the other world with him in tow, he’s been a pretty decent roommate.
He doesn’t have many hobbies, unless staring at you from across the room counts. The only mess he leaves is long, black hairs that snake along the shower walls and more often than not clog the drain. He doesn’t even eat your food—something you discovered after a week of trial and error, setting out everything from leftovers to raw steak in the hopes of figuring out what a creature like him might like. As it turns out, he isn’t much of an eater, and he refuses to wear anything but the clothes he crossed over in, so at least you didn’t need to buy him new clothes. He’s low-maintenance in those areas, thankfully, and your paycheck doesn’t take a huge hit. 
Still, as close as you are, and as much as you’ve grown fond of him, you know nothing about who or what he truly is. Can he stand? Does he even have eyeballs? You know he can see, somehow, but how? Does he have teeth? You’re not even sure there’s a word for teeth in his language… Would he need a dentist? As most of your Mr. Crawling mouth knowledge went, you knew he had a tongue. 
The days pass, you fall into routines, and so do your questions.
“Crawling,” you had said one night, settled up on the sofa after a long day at work.  “Why can’t you stand?”
Mr. Crawling looks up from the screen, his wide smile faltering as he absorbs your question. His hair falls across his face, hiding whatever might be behind those red blotches he has for eyes.
“Me… not able to stand,” he replies, waving abnormally long limbs. “Arms good!” He seems proud, at least. 
You purse your lips out in thought- sure, he had those spindly legs, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t use them. You witnessed first hand the way he kicks his legs about under the blanket, unsettling cracks of his joints. Or when he sits up on his knees to fetch something on the counter top that he couldn’t reach from the floor. 
“You want me stand?”
“No, Crawling, I like you like this.” And you finished the conversation with a few pats on his head, and he nuzzled into your knee as if he was a pet. 
“You like me?”
You nod.
“Me like you!”
Low maintenance in the roommate department, high maintenance in the boyfriend? department.
You settle into bed that night after serving Mr Crawling his completely normal human soup that you definitely obtained by very legal and moral ways. Although, he didn’t seem very hungry that night, and you decided to just keep it for later. You debated on leaving it out in case he got hungry during the night when you were asleep, but seeing as to what the contents were, you weren’t up for it to stink out your kitchen. Back in the fridge it went!
“Rest?” he asks from the doorway of your bedroom, eyeless staring as you settle on the mattress. 
“I rest. You rest?” You pat the spot beside you. 
“Me watch you.”
Whatta guy… You wait for him to join you before you pull the blanket to your chin. And just like every other night, Mr. Crawling wraps his long arms around you, joints cracking as he stretches his legs out on the blanket- his feet hang off the bed. His hair tickles every exposed inch of your skin, but you don’t mind. You’ve gotten used to it at this point- maybe you should teach him to brush his own hair though?
His touch is cool, like air from a drafty window, and you relax under his delicate, careful pats on your head. It’s not long before you drift off.
It’s rare that you wake up in the dead of night. It’s rarer when you wake up to him not in the same position you fell asleep in. Groggy, you reach an arm out to the other side of the bed and hit the space where Mr. Crawling should have been. It’s still warm, however, and you sit up and rub your eyes. He’s not here.
What the hell? That wasn’t like him.
You slip into your slippers and shuffle toward the kitchen. The house is dark and still, except for a faint rustling. When your vision adjusts, you stop in your tracks. You were pretty sure your heart stopped for a second, too. 
He hadn’t noticed you yet, which is unlike him. 
“C-Crawling?” you stammer. 
Mr. Crawling is there, long arms in your fridge, but he isn’t small and folded like usual. He’s… standing. You blink, barely processing the sight. He has to be at least eight feet tall, maybe more, his head brushing the ceiling. His towering shadow spills over the walls, unsettling even to someone like you.
He freezes, letting out a startled squeak you’ve never heard before. His head whips toward you, and his hair falls in a curtain over his face. He drops to his knees instantly, scrambling across the floor to you with long, frantic arms. He tackles you into an overzealous hug, the kind you usually get only when you come home from work.
“You awake!”
You blink down at him. “I thought you said you couldn’t stand?” you murmur, still dazed. He lied? Why would he lie? Is there even a word for lie in his language?
His hair fans at your face, elbows propping himself up on top of you. Mr. Crawling tilts his head at you, and you wrack your brain in this stupid monster language that you just can’t perfectly adjust to yet.
“Uhm… You stand good?” you manage to fumble the words out. You stand good. That just sounds ridiculous. “Legs work?”
Mr. Crawling lets you sit up, grey hands cupping your face. He seems… off. Sad? Worried? You’ve only seen him not smiling a few times- and that was when you first met him- when he scared the absolute daylights off of you, when that man in red with the umbrella appeared… There was also that time you collapsed, and that creepy, eyeless nurse showed up.
“You scared me?” he asks, his tone soft.
Are you scared of me? 
“You don’t stand because you think you’ll scare me?” you mumble, hands holding onto his wrists. “Erm… Not stand… me scared?” 
“Me scary… You not like me.” His head hangs and Mr. Crawling’s hair touches the floor and licks at your legs.. His gentle hold of your face loosens.
He doesn’t stand at his full height because he’s afraid he’ll scare you? God. How can a ghost be such a sweetheart?
“Hey,” you whisper, pulling his hands off your face. You wrap your arms around his neck, tilting your head so you can see where his eyes should be. “You’re cute. Very big, yes—I was just surprised.”
“You… not scared?” His voice is uncertain.
You giggle, squeezing him tighter. “No. Just surprised.” He doesn’t understand you- and you need to wrack every shelf in your brain to get the words out. “Me surprised… you very cute.”
There’s a beat of silence as he absorbs your words. “Me cute?” he repeats, as if it’s the greatest revelation in the world.
“Very cute,” you confirm, unable to help laughing as he tackles you once again to the floor, hair scattering everywhere as he nuzzles into your chest, murmuring, “Me cute, me cute,” in a gleeful mantra. You pat his head, and he flops onto the floor beside you with a giggle.
You stare at him, illuminated by the extremely romantic light of the fridge. “Hungry?” you ask, and push some of his hair away from his face- he grabs your wrist before you get any closer to his eyes, though.
“Want eat… you rest.”
You shake your head, stifling a yawn. “I’ll wait for you. I… erm… rest with you?” You cringe, knowing you said it wrong. You’re at least seventy percent sure you said it wrong. Maybe it’s time to teach him your language.
Mr. Crawling lets out his normal unsettling giggles, a sound that cuts through the silence of the house.
You don’t bother getting his tomato soup out of the fridge like you usually do, and take a seat at the table. He looks lost for a split second, and giggles once more as he rises to his feet. You let out a few appreciative oohs and ahhs he reaches his full height. You’re still a bit shocked at how his head almost touches the ceiling.
He settles into his usual seat across from you, knees folded as best as they can be under the table, his feet brushing against your legs.
It’s like a lightbulb appears above your head.
What the hell type of name is “Mr. Crawling” if he can fucking walk? 
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piper-2244 · 3 days ago
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the limit does not exist!
how spencer helps college!reader understand a little calculus and therefore understand how he loves her.
MDNI | smut word count: 1931 warnings & tags & stuff: fem reader, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), lil bit of overstim hehe, pure unbridled affection, LOVE, FLUFF, hugging, reader cries, this was in fact meant to be written for spence's birthday... sorry about that school is kicking my butt lets just pretend it's october! author's note: this one is for my folks who HATE their calculus class and want spencer reid to give them head instead <3 maybe this can help you romanticize it a bit. i think this is classified as self indulgent…like REALLY self indulgent… hah... anyway i hope you enjoy! let me know your thoughts if u have any, i loveeeee you!! have a great day my hands are shaking posting this smut is so scary!!!!!
You sat in bed, staring down your notebook, eyes narrowed. Limits stared back at you. You were just about at your own limit, if you were being honest. 
Your brain, however sharp and witty it may be, is absolutely not one designed for calculus. A literary analysis essay? Done in half an hour. In depth scientific research project? Easiest months of your life. But there’s something about finding the instantaneous rate of change of a curve at one point in time by finding the slope of a tangent line that hasn't clicked yet. 
A slew of other papers- notes, practice worksheets printed from obscure websites, and formulas- surround you, a sea of unfinished thoughts from the past month of the semester.
You bite on the end of your pen, the little hope you had for a good grade in this class slipping further and further away with each passing moment, like the last ember dying in the remains of a fire.
What you really wanted to be doing was celebrating Spencer’s birthday with him right now. A chocolate cake lay on the kitchen counter and pasta simmers on the stove, but you and your boyfriend had agreed to do a solid hour of work before the celebrations ensued.
You were never particularly strong willed when it came to following through on such agreements.
“Teach me calculus,” you say, a very impressive three minutes later, flopping down on the couch. Your head makes its way to its forever resting spot, Spencer’s lap. He raises his eyebrows slightly, thumb reaching out to trace over the slope of your nose. His eyes flit between you and the file to the side of him. 
“I thought we agreed on an hour.”
“Yeah. But it wouldn’t be a very productive hour if I didn’t know how to do what I have to do. And I missed you.” 
He sighs quietly, closing the file next to him. 
“What do you not understand?” You smile at that, loving how quickly you won.
“Related rates. Like, conceptually.” 
Spencer hums in response.
“It’s October. You’re not even supposed to know related rates yet.”
“Fine. Then let's open presents,” you respond, smiley. His eyebrows get impossibly higher, hand stroking your cheek delicately.
“No. I want our night to be a little more stress free when we celebrate, okay? How about you think about that lovely cake you made for me. What if I decided to squash it so that the diameter would get bigger, going from…let’s say, 20 centimeters to 26 centimeters in 3 seconds, and the height would get smal-”
“That wouldn't be nice. It took me like four hours,” you interrupt, grumbling. He cracks a smile.
“For the sake of the example, let's say I was an awful boyfriend and really wanted to ruin all the hard work you put in for me.”
You roll your eyes.
“Hey,” he says, hand moving down to touch your jaw softly. “Don’t do that. Don’t be difficult. I’m helping you.”
“Sorry. I guess I need you to zoom out a little. I don’t really get why I’m learning this as a whole.” Spencer’s eyes pore into yours, staring down at you adoringly for a small moment as he comes up with an answer.
“Calculus helps us begin to explain the unexplainable by harnessing what we can,” Spencer says simply. “Einstein once said that, ‘Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas,’ which makes it simple in practice, but I actually like to think about it as the opposite philosophically. Trying to find logic in the more poetic ideas.”
You cuddle deeper in his lap.
“Think he would agree with that?” you ask. “I do answer to Einstein before you, unfortunately.” Spencer bends down to kiss your hair.
“I think so. He also had a really nice quote where he remarked that, ‘Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.’ He said, ‘How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.’”
Spencer takes a deep breath.
“Math doesn’t explain how I love you. It can’t. But I love the fact that it tries to. It kinda makes you wanna learn it as best you can.”
You process that for a long second and nod. He keeps talking.
… 
Presents get opened, and cake gets eaten before dinner. Of course.
You’re now in bed, on top of the covers, forcing Spencer to give you a fashion show of the new sweater vest and tie you got him. He turns to you after putting it on, and you beam. 
“I really like it. You look great. Do you like it?” you ask. He nods, smiling back at you.
“I’m gonna wear it to work tomorrow.” 
You beckon for Spencer to come closer, sitting up in bed. Your hands go out to the tie, tugging at the knot softly. He stares down at you until eventually interrupting your motions with a slow kiss, hands cupping your face.
“You’re so pretty,” he mutters.
He pulls away and finishes what you started, folding the tie neatly and setting it in the drawer. Then comes the vest, and soon enough, he’s just in his boxers.
“You’re the pretty one,” you say quietly. “Come to bed.” He crawls on next to you, tugging you into his arms. “Happy birthday, Spence. I love you.” He dips his forehead to your shoulder.
“I love you.”
Before you know it, he’s shifted on top of you, moving down. Fast. You blink, hard, trying to rid your head of the hazy endorphins as you register what he’s doing.
“What? No, I was gonna do that. It’s your birthday. You don’t have to,” you protest.
“But I really, really want to, darling girl,” he murmurs back, kissing your knee and softly pushing it to the side.
You fluster and Spencer just looks at you, fingers tracing shapes on your waist, waiting for you to be ready. 
“Well. Um. Okay. If you insist. I can’t really deny the birthday boy.” Your voice is small, and a little giddy smile grows on your face. Of course Spencer Reid would want to give you head on his birthday. 
He smiles a little against the bare skin of your hip where your top meets your shorts. Then he meets your eyes. 
“You know you can, though, right?” he asks, voice a little more serious. You reach out to touch his hair softly. 
“Yeah. I know.”
Fingers hook your shorts, gently pulling them down. He presses a kiss to your thigh, and then he suddenly looks down at it. 
“Soft,” he murmurs, like he’s making a mental note. He presses another, and another, incrementally going closer and closer to your soaked through underwear. His eyebrows scrunch when he sees the wet spot. “All this from a few kisses?” 
You blush, unable to respond. 
Spencer’s fingers hook a centimeter of your underwear. “These?” he checks.
“Yes, please,” you manage. He tugs them down, silently noticing the slickness of your sex, and exhales shakily.
“How many times on average does it take for a guy to call you pretty on a given day before you get annoyed?” he murmurs, soft smile playing on his face. You smile too, head cloudy from his words, but it immediately drops when his lips press directly against your pulsing clit, kissing it softly.
“Fuck,” you say (Spencer would argue moan) softly (loudly). You let out a content sigh, and he moves to suckle it, actions becoming less and less delicate. 
It’s not harsh, but incessant. Spencer knows what you can take. He knows exactly what you can take. You’re both quiet for a bit, save for your breathy moans. 
“Spencer,” you say softly, ripping you both out of your individually hazy and dirty and distracted minds. “You’re too far away.” He looks up to you, face parallel to your aching core, hair beautifully messy and mouth glistening.
After a second, he grabs your hips, gently pushing you up against the pillows so you’re propped up at a better angle. He then shifts his body up wordlessly so he’s more above you, dipping his head down to give you a soft kiss. You taste yourself, tongue darting out to lick your lips.
His hand takes over where his mouth was, sliding in between your folds with a practiced ease. Spencer looks down at you, eyes wide and flitting between yours, searching for a reaction.
You reach out and wrap your arms around him, holding him close. “Holy shit, I love you,” you murmur.
His fingers lightly graze your clit again before one slides into you. “Angel,” he breathes out, so quietly. “I love you too. This okay? Are you okay?”
You nod feverishly and lift your hips to meet his hand, always in a perpetual state of wanting more, to be closer. Your bodies are melded so close together, barely giving him room to push his hand into you. He doesn’t even bother to ask you to use your words or keep your hips down, like he might on a regular night.
He pulls his head back to watch as he pushes another finger into you, stretching you just a little. “There we go. You always feel like heaven around me.”
Your eyes flit up to his face as he says those words, now having a little more room to observe him. You focus on the slope of his nose and curve of his mouth. 
“You’re so perfect,” you say quietly, adoringly, before you even realize it was true.
You blink at that thought. Spencer Reid is perfect, despite whatever universal odds deeming that impossible.
Those graphs, those formulas, now laying discarded & crumpled on the ground. They click, a little bit. You understand why Albert Einstein wanted to spend his life developing theories of relativity.
This is how Spencer sees you? What he was talking about earlier?
This is how he sees you?
The thought is almost too much.
Spencer sees your face, and not knowing what's going on in your head, slides down his free hand from your cheek to your carotid, feeling your racing pulse. “Take a deep breath for me, okay? You're about to come, huh?”
You inhale and are met with peace. Then your orgasm hits you like a wave. You clench hard around his fingers, and he just watches it happen, fascinated. “Baby,” he coos softly at you.
It wasn’t just your sensitivity he’s currently maximizing on or the little kisses he dips down to leave on your neck that sealed the deal, but the very thought that you could be loved in a way that is so perfectly impossible.
You exhale breathily as Spencer pushes you through the last trails of your climax, fingers not caring one bit that you just had your world tilted on its axis. 
“Spencer. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” you say eventually, overstimulated.
“You’re okay. Did so good.” he murmurs, fingers slipping out of you. 
His thumb brushes your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even realize was dripping down.
“Don’t cry, you always cry. It’s my birthday. Don’t cry on my birthday,” he whispers soothingly, affection lacing his voice.
“I’m not.” 
Another one falls. 
You reach and press out that perpetual little slope between his eyebrows with your thumb, gentle, like you might break him. “I’m not crying.”
Spencer lets you lie.
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moonstruckme · 2 days ago
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Hi!! I had surgery a few weeks ago and I’m definitely hitting a wall mentally. I’ve been so sad with recovery and I’m so exhausted and cranky (unfortunately). I was wondering if you could write an emt!marauders or poly!marauders w reader going through that?? Thank you! Your writing has been a huge comfort for me during this time 🩷
Hi lovely! I realize it's been a while since you sent this so I hope you're feeling much much better now! Thanks for requesting <3
cw: post-op recovery, shoulder injury
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 727 words
James enters the bedroom to witness three stages of wakefulness. There’s Remus where he left him, fluffy haired and squinty eyed scrolling through his phone. One of Remus’ hands is toying idly with the ends of Sirius’ hair, who’s still dead asleep next to him, on his stomach with his face pushing into the pillow (James has never been able to figure out how he can breathe like that). Then there’s you, just sitting up with a groan and a sour look on your face. His angel. 
“Here, love.” James sets the coffee he’d brought for Remus on the nightstand, making sure the handle is facing him. Remus’ thanks is croaky with drowsiness, his smile gentle. James says to you, “Morning. How’d you sleep?” 
“Hard,” you mumble. You shrug your one shoulder experimentally, and grimace. “Too hard.” 
Remus makes a sympathetic sound, looking at you over the rim of his mug. “Did you sleep on it wrong?” 
“No.” You sound a tad defensive. “I was on my back all night.” 
Remus hums. “This is what happens when you don’t do your stretches at night, dovey.” 
You scowl. James ruffles Remus’ hair. “Be nice,” he chides. “You could do some stretching now, angel.” 
Sirius makes a disgruntled sleepy sound, rolling onto his side to wrap his arms around your waist. He settles his head contentedly on the plushness of your thigh. “Everyone shut up,” he grumbles. “And stop getting up.” 
“We’re not getting up,” James placates him. “She’s only doing her stretches.” 
“But it hurts,” you whine. 
“That’s why you do your stretches, sweetheart.” Remus gives you a look. 
James can feel you getting irritated. You’ve been recovering from your surgery for weeks now, and you’re growing exhausted not only with all the things you can’t do with your shoulder but also all the things you have to do to build back its strength and mobility. He goes to the dresser as you slump forward into your own lap, hapless. 
“Come on,” he laughs, tossing you your towel. “You can start with the towel one first. That one’s fit.” 
You look up at James. “It is not.” 
“Y’always look good, babe,” Sirius mumbles into your thigh. 
“See? And extra good when you stretch your arms like that.”
“He’s dead to the world.” You roll your eyes, though you’re petting Sirius’ hair fondly. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” 
Still, you sigh and pick up the towel when Remus nudges it towards you pointedly, rolling your neck in preparation. James feels a bit of warmth come to his face (he was only partly joking about how attractive you are when you stretch). 
It’s a bit difficult for you at first, clearly, the result of growing a bit lax about your stretches over the past few days. James can see Remus’ lips press together like he’s physically restraining himself from commenting on it. A low whine builds in your throat. 
“There you go,” says Sirius in a salacious tone. James is beginning to suspect he’s more awake than he’s letting on. “Tell us how you really feel, sweetheart.” 
“This is so pointless,” you grumble. “It’s too lame to do anything.” 
“Don’t say that,” James chides you. It’s not his intention to make you feel like you can’t vent to them, but James is firmly of the belief that ceasing negative talk will eventually lead to an abatement of negative thoughts. “It’s working, you just need to give it time. You’re tons better than you were a couple of weeks ago, right?” 
“If you mean I can pick up an empty soda can,” you say drily, “then yes.” 
“That is what I mean. Empty soda cans are a big step.” 
“It’s a process,” Remus tells you in a more placating tone. “You can��t expect to be all the way better overnight. Especially not if you’re not doing your stretches.” 
You don’t miss the judgment threaded through that last bit, your expression turning sour again. Sirius appears to sense this without opening his eyes. He hugs you around the middle, smearing a kiss over your thigh. 
“You’ll get there, lovie,” says James. “And hey, if it’ll help, I can sit with you while you do your stretches every day. I wouldn’t mind that at all.” 
Remus snorts, and Sirius mumbles something into your skin that sounds like “I’ll bet you wouldn’t.”
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julymusings · 2 days ago
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will you hold me instead, and tell me that it's over now?
i look forward to a little me and you, so now i hope that you don't tell me that it's over
or; patching jason up after an intense mission [2.1k]
jason todd x fem!reader; angst/fluff; brief mentions of human trafficking and allusion to murder (he's talking about how the mission went); mention of his scars; jason being insecure & thinking he's not good enough😞; description of injuries and the first aid applied to them (please do not take anything as actual medical advice); this is me hard-launching my physical touch x touch starved!jason agenda
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You don’t know how early it is when you hear the sound of the front door opening and closing, just that it’s too early. It’s not like you could sleep anyway; you spent the night drifting in and out of semi-consciousness, too worried to let yourself relax. You always got like this when Jason went away on missions. Several days, and sometimes even weeks, spent anxiously anticipating the state in which he would return home—you haven’t been able to get a manicure since before you met him.
You’re still a little delirious when a hand ghosts up your arm, stirring you from your half-sleep. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room and register the sight in front of you. Your boyfriend is on one knee on the floor in front of you, brushing strands of hair out of your face with endearing eyes.
“There she is,” he says when you lift your head off the pillow and reach out to him. He catches your hand and kisses your fingertips, spreading a warmth up your arm that combats the midnight chill. You push yourself up to a sitting position, and he takes the opportunity to cup his hands around your face and bring you in for a kiss.
“Missed you,” you mumble against him, and his lips curve upwards against yours.
“Missed you too, sweetheart.” His mouth travels up from yours towards your temple, leaving a path of gentle kisses in his wake. Your palms, pressed flat against his chest, slide up to loop around his neck. He tenses, choking back a strained grunt. But you catch it.
You pull back abruptly. “Are you hurt?” Your eyes frantically dart around, scanning his entire body. Now fully alert, you reach over to the bedside table and switch the lamp on.
“’s just a bruise, baby, I’m fine.” A hand comes up to shield his eyes from the sudden brightness. But with newly unobstructed vision, you can see more than just a bruise. He has a busted lip, a shallow gash on his temple, and splotches of purple and red peeking out of his shirt collar.
“You’re bleeding, Jason,” you chastise him, getting up off the bed.
He stands alongside you with a huff. “It’s nothing,” he sighs. “Doesn’t even hurt.” But when you take his hand and start pulling him to the bathroom, he follows without argument. You lead Jason to sit down on the edge of the tub and fetch the first aid kit from under the sink, setting it down next to him on the bathtub ledge. You stand between his legs, your positions making you a half-head taller than him. He gazes up at you and for the first time tonight you notice how dark and deep the skin under his eyes is.
“Off,” you order, dragging up the hem of his shirt. He helps you pull it off, wincing when it requires him to lift his bruised arm.
“Someone’s eager,” he muses, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner. It earns him a swat on the arm; he grunts loudly and doubles over in pain.
You gasp. “Oh my god! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I—”
But when he looks up, it’s with a coy smirk and a twinkle in his eye. You swat him again.
“Asshole,” you mutter, but you can’t help the slight twitch at the corner of your lips. “Why didn’t you take care of this earlier? Alfred wasn’t at the manor to help you?”
He shrugs his good shoulder. “Don’t know. Came straight here.”
“Did you tell anyone where you were going?” You ask.
He looks at you blankly, as if to say, don’t you know who you’re talking to?
You sigh, exasperated. “You shouldn’t have done that, Jason. What if ended up becoming serious? And you didn’t make it here in time? What if—” 
He interrupts your doom spiral by pressing a finger to your lips. “I know, honey, I’m sorry. But I wanted to see you.”
You sigh. There’s a sadness to it, one that comes from familiarity with the fact that he does not care for himself as much as he should—as much as he deserves. But there are no words to make him believe it that you haven’t tried, so all you do is lean your forehead against his, hoping he can hear what you're not saying. You need him to hear you.
“You’re not sorry,” you whisper.
“No, I’m not,” he whispers back.
You start with his shoulder, which was decidedly not ‘just a bruise,’ but actually several bruises, all clumped together to form one giant Franken-bruise that covered his entire shoulder. It gets rubbed with ointment and you’re not sure who it pains more, because while you’re spilling out frantic apologies as you try to speed through it, Jason is white-knuckling the edge of the tub with a wad of gauze between his teeth. 
His lip doesn’t require any medical attention, but he insists you kiss it better anyway, and who are you to deny him? 
You tend to his temple last, but he’s antsy now. His leg bounces up and down, one hand is drumming its fingers on the tub, and the other is fiddling with the loose threads that hang from the hem of your shirt; you have to scold him into sitting still.
“Where’s the dermabond?” You ask, sifting through the contents of the first aid kid.
“Used it up last month, remember? After you just had to feed that fuckin’ squirrel.” His voice is gruff at the recollection. “Should be a new pack under the sink.”
You fetch the new box, picking at the plastic wrapping. “Can you blame me? He was so cute.”
“Yeah, was. Until that greedy fucker decided he wanted the whole picnic.” Jason sees you struggling with the plastic covering and takes it from you, breaks it open, then hands it back. “Bastard.”
You giggle. “You know, you could’ve just let him have the cupcake. It wasn’t worth risking rabies for.” You fish out the glass tube of surgical glue, tossing its cardboard box aside.
“‘Course it was. My girl wanted red velvet, she should get her red velvet.” Jason’s hands finally rest on the backs of your bare thighs, squeezing them lightly. He grins when that makes you let out a little squeak.
You roll your eyes, though there’s a warmth flowing in your veins that courses from the tips of your ears to the bottom of your feet. “My hero,” you muse with a smile.
There’s a pause. Then:
“I’m not a hero,” he responds. His tone is still light, but his eyes feel far away.
You start to clean the blood from the wound, which has since clotted and dried, with a saline-soaked cotton pad. He stares at you while you clean and then close the cut with the glue. And when you finish, supplies set aside and glue cured, he’s still staring. His eyes are traveling all over your face, taking in each feature, committing every ridge, every angle, every pore, every freckle to memory. The light-hearted teasing demeanor from mere moments ago is long gone. You're a deer caught in emerald headlights.
You recognize this shift. You noticed hints of it since he arrived home, but assumed it was just due to the pain. Now it’s obvious that there’s more. It’s the same shift that comes when the news becomes a circus, or when he stares at his scars in the mirror for too long.
His hands slide up your body slowly, reverently. One stops at your waist while the other continues, blazing a trail up your ribcage, over the side of your breast. He pauses at your shoulder for a split second, squeezing the flesh every so gently before continuing up your neck. His thumb drags across your collarbone, brushing against the spot that always lights up your senses and parts your lips in a breathy sigh. He stops when he reaches your face. He cups your cheek. Your hand covers his and you lean into his hold, the stroke of your small, soft fingers juxtaposing the rough callouses of his knuckles. You stay here for a moment before turning to press your lips to his palm once, twice, thrice, four times, each one lingering a little longer than the last.
“What is it, Jason?” Your hands come to cradle his neck before dragging up to his hair, and his move to wrap around your torso and pull you closer into him. You place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Hmm?”
“I’m not a hero,” he says again, softer.
“Jay,” you whisper. “You know that’s not true.”
He says nothing, only heaving a heavy sigh and burying his face into the crook of your neck. You’re content to stand like this, to simply hold him and graze your nails against his scalp for as long as he needs while he inhales the comforting scent of your skin.
After what could have been one minute or twenty, he pulls back to look up at you. He looks exhausted. “It was a human trafficking case,” he says. “They knew we were closing in on ‘em, so we had to act fast. They were…trying to…” He trails off, unsure how to put it in words delicate enough to spare you. He breaks eye contact. “Destroy the evidence,” he finishes.
You don’t respond. Despite the heavy silence that follows this admission, you know he’s not done. It takes another several minutes of stroking fingers and feather-light hairline kisses to coax it out of him.
“There was a woman. She…we didn’t—“ His voice cracks. “I didn’t get there in time.”
“Oh, honey.” You run your palm over his forehead, pushing back his thick waves. His eyelids slide down over glassy irises as he sinks into your touch. You lean down to press your lips to his forehead. “You know that’s not your fault,” you whisper. He shakes his head, eyes still closed.
“But if I’d just—”
“No, Jason.” You grip his face between your palms. He opens his eyes at the sudden sternness. “But nothing. You did everything you possibly could—”
“You don’t know that,” he interrupts.
“I do know that. I know because you are always doing everything you can. For me, and for everyone in this city. And I know that it wasn’t just you on that mission. Do you blame anyone else for what happened?”
He says nothing, but his eyes are welling with tears.
“You saved so many other people, Jason. You are a hero, and you know that. You have to know that.” Some of his tears spill over, but you brush your thumbs across his cheeks and kiss them away.
He pulls you onto his lap so your legs are straddled over his and rests his head against your sternum. His arms squeeze impossibly tight around your waist, but you don’t say anything. When his shoulders tremble and you feel the dampness on the front of your shirt, you still don’t say anything. And when he places a hand on the back of your head to pull you in for a hard, searing kiss that leaves you both breathless, you don’t say anything. You just look at him, at how pretty he is, and hope that he can hear you.
The sounds of buzzing echo in from the next room. To your dismay, he turns away, towards the direction of your phones. “I should get that,” he says. His voice is hollow. “It’s probably the bats wanting to know where I am. They’ll send a search party if I don’t check in.”
He’s about to move you off his lap, but you stop him. “In a minute, Jay.”
Jason’s forehead crinkles. You use your thumb to smooth it out.
“Please?” You breathe out. “Just let me look at you a little longer. I love looking at you.”
He relaxes back into his seat. And you keep looking at him. At his beautifully rosy cheeks and shining eyes, his puffed lips. The scar that runs diagonally down his slightly crooked nose.
It’s dawn now; the tangerine beginnings of sunrise elicit a soft glow that spills through the window. Jason takes it all in. The two of you together in the home you share, arms around each other, your face all honeyed and beautiful in the light.
And you know he can hear you.
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love when you guys leave messages/feedback it really brightens up my day<3
divider is from here
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hoovesandfloorpaws · 3 days ago
Photo
[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]
"From [North] America, they traveled to Australia and New Zealand, then back to the U.S. again. They didn’t have extended time in the U.K. until the end of April (when they were likely writing/recording Take Me Home, as well as rehearsing for their continuing Up All Night tour).
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In the gifs above, OT5 are pictured at a Much Music interview from May 2012, unavailable to view [I have added the video link. Btw, at 16:06 there is another very interesting moment where they start talking about Larry Stylinson and Liam says "It's true!"] —the one with the two red tables, where the interviewer asks about boys kissing, and Niall’s wearing a lavender t-shirt and backwards snapback.
Interviewer: “How do you balance [making an album] with how busy you are, and all these concert dates?” Harry shrugs, “You tell us!” Louis says, “We ask ourselves the same question!” Interviewer: “You already have nearly a hundred shows confirmed and almost sold out—for 2013. How do you plan your lives that far in advance?” Harry and Liam laugh, “We don’t!” Louis says, “We wish we did!” [I added the video link]
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In Florida during the Up All Night tour in [July] 2012, Niall comments that he spent "30 days at home [in 2011]. So, that's a big difference from 365..." [link to whole interview video]
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Q: Many of these groups get huge but burn out after three or so years.  What’s your plan to make sure that doesn’t happen?
Simon Cowell: “Be sensible and treat them as human beings, genuinely.  That’s the most important thing.  Traditionally, record companies would put out the most possible product in a short period of time, thinking you only have two or three years.  I don’t think that’s necessarily the case now.  If you’re sensible and you don’t burn them out, you don’t have to put a time limit on this anymore.  And they’re so young, these guys.”  
Rolling Stone Q&A with Simon Cowell  (by Andy Greene, April 2012, emphasis mine)
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“I’ve never known a band to announce a second summer tour before a first summer tour is over.  It’s insane – they’re working them like dogs and printing money right now.”  — Andy Greene, May 2012
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During This Is Us promo in August 2013, Harry says, "If we could choose the perfect scenario, I would be 'the well-rested one.' "
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Simon Cowell, 2015:  “This is five years, literally non-stop. I’m amazed they’ve done it for so long… I hope [they’ll get back together], but like I said, it’s not going to be because of any pressure from me… like we said in the beginning, this is an opportunity, you won it, and I’ve always had that attitude with them…. Look, even though they’re young, that is a gruelling schedule and after a while I could see they were exhausted, so when they said, “How do you feel about it?”  I said, “Do whatever you want.”  Having a year off is going to be a healthy thing.’
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Also during This is Us promo, during one of their multiple press conferences, [in August 2013] a reporter asks, "Did you have a choice to say no to this documentary?" Harry half-shakes his head, and leans in to speak. Niall almost imperceptibly shakes his head, and tightens his mouth.
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Niall, October 2012: I've a re-occurring knee injury from playing football. I've dislocated my knee ten times in the last two years. Operation time for me.
So are you gonna have to go and get an operation done? When?
Niall: (shrugs) Whenever I have time. ...[come up with] a couple years. (Late Late Show, October 2012)
14 months later, January 2014: after performing 123 shows during the Take Me Home tour (only a portion of his responsibilities during that time), 20-year-old Niall had major knee surgery that was 'much larger than anticipated'. He began a new tour with One Direction about three months later, after One Direction’s first extended break since forming as a group.
––––––
From January 2011 – December 2015, One Direction:
• wrote for and recorded 5 albums (91 songs included on the albums)
• performed 327 full concerts as headliners during four tours (on the road for about 110 weeks total)
• were interviewed more than 800 times by various media
• performed at least 97 times on television
• visited at least 37 countries, often more than once
• walked some 33 red carpets
• filmed 18 music videos (at least 36 days’ work)
• filmed well over 100 additional miscellaneous videos
• had at least 29 photo shoots
• shot a feature-film ‘documentary,’ with cameras trailing them for months
• shot concert films for the Up All Night and Where We Are tours
Just one week of heavy promo for the feature-film This is Us in August 2013 included:
approximately 95 junket interviews appearance at the VMAs appearance at America’s Got Talent performance and interview at Today Show press conference in NY Premieres in London and New York; red carpet interviews hours of transatlantic flights
1D’s pace was much more relentless than the glancing summary I’ve given here.
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During the Four Hangout, Liam comments that there are "...a lot of meetings, there's a lot of meetings in Boybandville." [I added the video link]
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(a very young and starry-eyed Zayn, Niall, Liam, Louis, and Harry are pictured above listening to the judges after their week 2 X-Factor performance, 2010) Below, Liam continues, "One thing we didn't realize when we [got in] this band is how many meetings you have." [I added the video link]
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“…the business empire fronted by these cherubic faces now stretches well into the hundreds of millions of pounds, with licensing deals that include everything from lunchboxes to their own fragrances.  Their ambition, or at least their management’s ambition, is seemingly infinite…
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During press for Midnight Memories in France, interviewer Cauet asks, "After your films, books, perfume—what's coming up next?" Harry: Space Liam: Our own range of door handles... lampshades... curtains! Louis: Let's do radiators. Harry: Radiators. Louis: Warmth. Zayn: Next music video's on the moon! [I added the video link]
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Harry Magee, Modest!Management: ‘The scale of this band is unprecedented.  None of us involved in the band, from the management, to the agents, to the licensees, to retailers, have ever worked on anything this big before.  There might be huge acts that have been going longer than 25 years but they are not nearly as broad as One Direction, especially when it comes to selling tickets and selling merchandise. …in terms of per-head numbers for merchandise we have broken all the numbers.  We need more stands at the gigs.  More people serving.’ …  (GQ magazine, August 2013, emphasis mine)
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(C'Cauet clip continues) Louis: One Direction central heating, I think. Liam: People. Our own range of people! Niall: Coffee tables! Liam: Opening a pet shop! Zayn: On the moon. (C’Cauet sur NRJ, 14 December 2013)
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April 2012, below: it was rumored Simon had given them each 2 million pounds because they were so successful — Niall and Harry said ‘not true.’ In the first gif, Harry says, "He's a bit tight, Simon is." "That's why he's so successful, he's able to keep his money to himself,” Niall laughs.
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1D partial gross revenue 2011-2014 (3 tours, 3 films): more than $500 million   xx  xx  xx  xx
(Here’s an enlightening post re: 1D finances) [updated the link]
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Niall: You know when the Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block came back a few months ago?  And all they did were arena tours.  That’s how I’d like to be remembered.
Liam: Yeah, just pop in and do an arena tour every ten years…
Niall: Sell out Wembley.  Smash it hard. Home in time for tea.
Liam: Fingers crossed, eh? (Aug 2013)
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In the gif above, OT5 hug in a tight bundle on the day of their X-Factor Judges' House audition, when Louis had an injured foot.
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One Direction were/are ambitious… but one must consider their ages when they signed their contracts, who truly managed their schedule (’This is what you have to do if you want to succeed’) and the pressure to continue making money. 
Beginning with X-Factor in October 2010, One Direction didn’t get any extended break until 21 Dec 2013 – Feb 2014, about nine weeks.
As students in the UK, they would've received anywhere from 10-22 weeks of vacation a year—not to mention being at home with the love and support of their families and friends.
master list of March 2012 filmed promo [by @youcancallmeathief]
March 2012 timeline [ @bulletprooflarry]
Four Hangout, Nov 2014 
(all gifs by OP, @quietasides)"
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One Direction won at the Brit Awards on 21 February 2012.  Harry had just turned 18, Liam and Niall were 18, Zayn was 19, and Louis was 20.
Adding gif captions in italics! Above, the four gifs show some moments from Four Hangout, November 2014. Liam, Louis, and Zayn are pictured sitting on the red couch. Louis says, “I remember that first American promo trip was relentless.” Liam: “Crazy.” Niall: “Nuts.” Louis: “I think it was like three weeks on the trot that we were away [from home].” Liam asks him, “Do you remember when we were doing, like, ten  things at once, as well? Doing interviews and signing and something else…” Louis: “That’s what it was all like. It was all just so, so manic.” Liam: “Crazy.”
Three days after the Brits, they were in Chicago for a radio interview/meet and greet.  They also opened for Big Time Rush that night, and proceeded to play 12 shows over the next two weeks, each in a different city.  During March they also did at least six signings, some smaller performances (such as three songs on the Today Show), and over 60 interviews.
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14 March 2012, above: Louis, Harry, and Liam are pictured during one of the nine+ interviews they filmed that day. The interviewer asks, “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not working?” Liam replies with a rueful laugh, “Have days off!”
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puckinghischier · 3 days ago
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so hi.. i keep thinking about how hot (and probably hopefully rough) sex would’ve been after last night’s game. you do with that information what you’d like.. i just thought i’d share my thoughts y’know completely and utterly innocent like.
✶ hope you had the best day alli, baby!! ‹𝟹
oh harls, my beautiful, beautiful quinn lover.
of course quinn would be in the need of some…rage activities once he got home. he’d be seething the entire bus ride back to the hotel, thinking about how cocky those assholes on the kings were all night. i mean, the hit on brock? the multiple intentional penalties? the cheap move from clarke?
it was all he could do to contain himself until his penalty, finally having had enough of the nasty plays. and while he was letting himself seethe and stew in his hatred, all he could think about is the fact you’re going to be waiting in his hotel room for him.
when he walks through the door, you’re laying on the king sized bed, having received his text he sent you from the locker room directly after the game.
naked. on the bed. now. absolutely no touching yourself (trust me, i’ll fucking know). don’t move until i say so.
he made you send him a picture for confirmation, wanting to know you’ll be so worked up in anticipation by the time he walks through that door you’ll be putty in his hands.
and while he’s already worked up and agitated from the game, the sight of your hand snaked between your legs, head thrown back onto his pillow, soft pants falling from your lips, has him seeing red.
he drops his bag loudly, seeing as you were so lost in the feeling of your own fingers you didn’t hear the heavy door open and shut.
the sound finally startles you out of your blissful state, arms flying up to cover yourself in a panic, dropping them to rest on your stomach when you realize it’s just quinn. the look on his face, however, does nothing to calm your racing heart.
“thought i told you specifically not to touch yourself,” he grits out, clenching his jaw so tightly he could barely speak.
you still, having been so ready and needy you completely forgot about the rule. sitting there, bare pussy exposed to the chill of the room, was torturous in the best way. you could feel yourself drip onto the freshly made bed, so the initial contact was simply the swipe of a finger to try and prevent any further mess. but the warm contrast of your finger on the cold slick of your cunt felt too good, spurring you to give your clit just a brief touch. just enough to hold you over.
before you knew it, you heard the thud of quinn’s bag and clearing of his throat, not even remembering how you ended up knuckle deep in your own core.
“i-i’m so sorry. it’s just, it was cold, and i was so wet, so i tried to clean myself up a bit, but my finger was so warm, and then i thought just one touch wouldn’t hurt,” you ramble out one long run-on sentence trying to plead your case.
“oh, i see” he starts walking towards you, quickly stripping himself of his t-shirt. “you were so ready for me, that you couldn’t wait on me, is that it?”
your face heats, realizing how pathetic it all is, really.
“well, when you put it like that…” you can’t even make eye contact with him, looking down at his hands instead.
quinn starts to untie the string on his sweatpants, letting them drop and walking right out of them as he comes to a stop at the end of the large bed.
“yeah…that’s what i thought,” he smacks his teeth at you in disapproval, shaking his head back and forth.
you take in the sight of him before you. toned body, pale skin, and my god, the hair. you’ve always been one to love body hair on a man, but seeing his large, exposed thighs, and the perfect dusting of the thick, dark hairs all over them, has your hand itching to find its way back between your slick folds.
he starts to palm himself over his boxers, earning a whimper from you in return. the noise piques his interest, eyebrow raising as he looks down at you.
“oh…you want this?” he reaches down to free his thick cock, sighing at the relief of the cloth restriction.
you don’t know if you should respond or not, scared of the consequences either way. you decide on an eager nod, mouth nearly watering at the sight.
“yeah, figured you did. always so needy, so ready to be whatever i need you be,” he says dismissively. “and lucky for you, i need this tonight, too. or i’d make you sit here and watch me stroke myself until i couldn’t take anymore, spewing everything i have all over you and this bed before making you go to sleep needy and unsatisfied. your punishment for touching yourself before i could get here.”
he must be able to see the panic in your eyes at the possibility, knowing he’s upset but surely he’s not that upset with you.
“but,” he starts, rubbing his thumb over his pink tip, “i think what i have planned is punishment enough. plus, i need you tonight, my sweet girl. need you to be my vice, my cure for all these…feelings i have pent up.”
you feel the physical jolt your core does, causing your body to flinch.
quinn discards his underwear entirely, placing one knee on the plush bed to start making his way to your body. you’re still sprawled out, skin buzzing at the thought of his touching yours.
once he’s hovering above you on all fours, he brings his head down to place a feather light kiss to your lips. when he pulls away, you chase him, pouting at the barely there contact.
“nope. only kiss you’ll get tonight, i’m afraid,” he sits up on his knees, in-between your open legs.
you whine out, always loving the hot, open-mouth kisses you two share while he’s inside of you.
“ehh, no more whining, either. should’ve thought about that before you broke the rules,” he scolds you, bringing his hands down to move your legs up, bending both of your knees so your feet rest flat on the bed.
once your knees are bent, he takes your hands that were resting on your stomach and splay them out on their respective sides.
“now, since you didn’t do like i asked you to so nicely, even though i’m so, so mad tonight, no touching me,” he looks down into your eyes as he says it, making sure you understand his rules.
“so, no kissing, no touching, no whining? what, i’m basically your sex doll tonight?” you sass him, rolling your eyes.
now, you expected a reaction out of him. it was your intent, actually. you expected a small smack to the leg, or a wagging finger with a stern look.
what you didn’t expect was to feel his hand come up and grasp your face, squishing your cheeks together so hard you’re forced to bite them just to allow any sort of give from the pressure.
he jerks your face to look at him, bringing his own so close you can feel his hot, angry breath on your face.
“that’s exactly right. you’re my doll tonight. mine to use as i see fit. however i want. you know why?” he pauses, heaving breaths in and out as he waits, as if you’d actually be able to answer him. “because i’m mad. i’m mad that the stupid kings thought they could beat up on my team tonight and get away with it. i’m mad that brock was taken out during the first period because of a purposeful hit. i’m mad, because the one thing i asked you to do, you couldn’t fucking do it.”
he’s seething at this point, an animalistic kind of anger radiating through his body.
your heart races in both fear and excitement. you hardly ever get to see this side of quinn, and you don’t know exactly what all was said or done on that ice tonight, but you’re sure you’re going to be able to feel the effects of it all for the next few days to come.
he releases your cheeks roughly, standing tall on his knees.
“since you claim you were so wet earlier you just couldn’t resist starting without me, too drunk on your own fingers to know what you were doing, you shouldn’t need any help then, should you?” he asks, reaching down to feel the arousal pooling in your exposed heat.
you want to whine. you want to whine and protest and complain, but before you can even think about breaking another rule of his, your breath is knocked from your lungs.
without any warning whatsoever, quinn slams into you completely, leaving no inch of your canal untouched. on instinct, you start to reach your arms up to grasp onto him, needing to ground yourself to him.
“i wouldn’t, if i was you,” he growls out, pulling out completely before slamming into you again, gripping one of your hips for stability.
dropping them back down to the mattress, you grasp the sheets so tightly you worry you’ll rip them.
your body jolts with each slam of his rigid cock into your hole, completely removing himself each time before snapping his hips so forcefully you swear you can feel it in your throat.
“god, have no clue how fucking angry i’ve been tonight”, he huffs out, not faltering his pace. “all night, watched those smug goons think they could do whatever they wanted, to whoever they wanted. then the refs wouldn’t even let me return the favor when given the chance. it’s bullshit,” he spits with a particularly harsh thrust.
you’re trying your best to lay there, unmoving, occupying your hands with the soft cotton underneath you. a choked sob of pleasure makes its way out when he hits a spot so deep inside of you, you had no clue it existed until this moment.
“but knew i was gonna get to come home to you,” he continues, distracted momentarily by the bounce of your tits with each thrust. “my sweet, sweet girl who always listens to what i say. who’s always so ready to do what i need her to do for me.”
he reaches up to pinch one of your hard nipples. you flinch, but remember to keep your hands down.
“and imagine my surprise, when i walk in the door to see you already making yourself feel good after i told you to wait on me,” he switches his hand to your other nipple, show it some attention. “made me so fucking angry all over again. was so prepared to come in and take care of you, low and slow all night. a treat for you and for me. but you just had to go and ruin it, didn’t you?”
at this point, even if you wanted to speak you couldn’t. you’re quite literally being fucked dumb right now. the effort of keeping your body still isn’t even a challenge anymore, limbs so heavy with pleasure you’re basically his to manipulate and use as he wishes.
you don’t even feel your orgasm approaching. one second you’re listening to his frustrations, the next you’re half deaf and seeing stars.
quinn stutters only slightly, abandoning his touch on your tits to move his hand to your throbbing clit.
“god, this was so fucking easy. this turn you on? me mad at you, not letting you do what you want, just like i didn’t get to do what i wanted?” he talks you through your bliss, watching your body shake and shiver while he continues his deep thrusts.
his fast circles on your clit don’t ease up, even after you’ve come down from your high. you try to wiggle your body away, your sensitivity making you squirm.
quinn’s grip on your hip tightens, halting your movement.
“don’t fucking move,” growls at you, basking at how easy it is for him to glide in and out of you, his dick covered in your release. “you’re gonna give me another one, i don’t care how sensitive you are. know you can do it. my own little slut.”
the name surprises you, quinn never really has been one for using stuff like that in the bedroom. you’d be lying if you said it didn’t cause the feelings of another release to start swirling again, though.
his resolve starts to deteriorate, but he’s determined to milk one more from you before he enjoys his own release.
“c’mon. it’s the least you can do f’me, really,” he grunts, somehow rubbing even faster circles on your swollen bundle of nerves. “after no one at the game would let me retaliate, and after i had to sit in the fucking box for two minutes for just returning a little bit of what they dished out all night, giving me all you’ve got isn’t a lot to ask, is it?”
you try to shake your head, but the increased pace of his forceful thrusts causes your head to bob all over the place.
he can feel your walls starting to flutter again already, knowing it won’t take much to send you over the edge.
keeping his hand in between your legs, applying both pressure and friction to your clit now, he bends his body over to attach his mouth to your tit, showing the the area attention once again. he swirls his tongue around your sensitive nub.
the feeling alone is delectable, causing you to writhe in pleasure. but the second you feel his teeth encase the delicate bud, biting down, you explode yet again.
you don’t think you’ve ever come so hard in your life. you cry out, so loud and so pornographic quinn worries someone will complain, but loving every second of the sound.
you’re convulsing underneath him, tears leaking from your closed eyes at the intensity of the pleasure radiating throughout your body.
“fuck, that’s it. swear your pussy’s trying to trap me in there, doesn’t want me to leave,” quinn groans, feeling like his dick is literally being suctioned into your body.
after a few more sloppy thrusts, his balls tighten and he coats your walls with his release. he moans out, mixing with your perfect whimpers and whines as the shocks of his own orgasm cause you to twitch.
after he’s sure your body has sucked him dry, quinn pulls out of you, pushing your knees down so he can roll over to the side of you, throwing his own tired body in the mattress.
you both lay beside one another, panting and letting your bodies catch back up to you. he reaches over to grab your hand, every ounce of anger having left his body through his orgasm.
he’s back to being his usual, soft self, as he rolls over to place a kiss to your temple.
you’ve come to a little bit, turning your head to look over at his smiling face.
“maybe…maybe i should start a pact with these teams you play each week to make you mad and rile you up during games more often,” you softly speak, voice slightly hoarse from your orgasmic screaming. “if this is what i get in return, think it’d be worth the price,” you smirk at quinn.
he lets out a quiet chuckle at your words, bringing a hand to brush some hair out of your face, finally placing a real kiss to your lips.
when he pulls back you open your eyes to admire him, but are met with a serious, stern expression.
“don’t push it.”
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steveseddie · 2 days ago
Text
night watch
for the @steddiemicrofic prompt “guard, 532 words” | rated: t | cw: none | tags: pre-relationship, eddie pov, nightmares, sharing a bed, pet names, soft boys, fluff
***
With shaky hands, Eddie pours himself a glass of water. 
Nightmares rarely leave him so rattled these days but this one was so horrifying he doesn’t think he’ll sleep more tonight.
So he sticks a cigarette between his lips, grabs a lighter, and heads outside, hoping it’ll help calm him down. 
He flicks the porch light on and that’s when he sees it– Steve’s car parked in his driveway. 
“What the hell?” 
Eddie tucks the cigarette behind his ear and walks to the car where he finds Steve sleeping in the driver’s seat.
He taps on the window and Steve jerks awake, head whipping around in confusion until his eyes find Eddie, widening comically. 
Wiping drool from his face, Steve rolls the window down. “Uh hi, Eddie.”
“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie says, leaning against the car. 
“Why are you out here?” 
“I could ask you the same thing. I came outside for a cigarette, and lo and behold, Steve Harrington, standing guard by my house!” Eddie chuckles amusedly. “Terribly, I might add, considering you were asleep.”
Steve sleepily rubs his eyes. “I usually don’t fall asleep. Guess I’m really tired tonight.” 
Wait–
“Usually?” Eddie blinks. “You’ve done this before?” 
Steve bites his lip nervously. “Every other night but I leave before anyone sees me.”
“Why?” 
“I have these– nightmares about you dying. One night when I couldn’t go back to sleep I went for a drive and ended up here, your light was on and I could see you through the window and that helped. I went back and got some more sleep. Sometimes I stay longer if the nightmare was really bad–”
“Oh, Steve.”
Steve grimaces. “I know it’s creepy–”
“Stevie, I’m not mad,” Eddie says softly, “I just wish you told me.”
“I didn’t want you to laugh!”
“I would never! Tease you a little maybe.”
Steve scoffs, but his mouth ticks up.
“Okay, come on.”
Steve tilts his head. “Where?”
“Inside. It’s fucking cold, you’re tired and my bed is more comfortable than your car.”
“I was just gonna head back–”
“Like hell you are.” 
He leads Steve to his bedroom where they both climb into bed. Eddie doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep, but he’ll make sure Steve does. 
“Sorry for not telling you,” Steve whispers.
“Promise me you will next time,” Eddie nudges Steve with his foot. “Sorry for haunting your dreams.”
Steve chuckles. “Not all of them are bad–” 
“No? I get good dreams too? What do we do in those?”
Steve inexplicably blushes. “This– and um, hold hands. Sometimes we kiss.”
Eddie’s breath catches. “Damn, I’m jealous of dream me.”
“You don’t need to be,” Steve whispers, looking at Eddie with molten eyes that flicker to his lips, his fingers brushing Eddie’s hand.
“Christ.” Suddenly, sleep isn’t Eddie’s priority. At least not until Steve yawns. “How about you tell me about those dreams tomorrow?”
Steve must be really tired because he doesn’t protest. “Okay.”
“And next time you have a bad dream, you come here and I’ll turn it into a good one, okay?”
Steve sleepily agrees. 
“Good, now sleep.”
“What about you?”
“It’s my turn to watch over you, sweetheart. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Eds.”
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lucentloo · 2 days ago
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Gift Giving
Summary: Spencer and reader share the love language of gift giving, however, Spencer seems to get reader gifts that she feels like she shouldn’t have since she can’t afford the same for him. 
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Wc: 1740
Content Warnings: Female reader, somewhat poor reader, not feeling good enough, gift giving love language for both Spencer and reader, no y/n, first fic ever, there might be swearing but I doubt it, season 6/7 Spencer, reader works in a restaurant, that should be all (If I’ve missed any please tell me)
a/n: I'm sorry if this sucks really bad but it's my first time writing and I thought I'd give it a try, thank you for reading and if you have any tips for me to get any better please share, have a nice day/night!
You’re staring at the small box on your counter as you hold the phone to your ear waiting for Spencer to pick up. The case he's working on is a crazy one though so you don't have much hope. You wait a few more seconds before giving up and stopping the call. The box on the counter is black with a pristine white ribbon tied and a bow on top. This is the third gift this month from your boyfriend and he doesn’t even have a reason.
You chew your lip as your eyes narrow at the box as if your glare could make it disappear from your kitchen. But alas, it stays exactly where it is. 
You don't hate the gifts, in fact gift giving is one of your love languages, you just feel so guilty that you can’t give Spencer anything back. You’ve tried to buy him something nice one time but that left you without food for a week and you couldn’t do that again without starving yourself. 
With a sigh you grab the box with the silver necklace and make your way to your bedroom to get ready for bed. After you shower and get into your pajamas (Spencer's hoodie and fuzzy socks) you climb into bed and contemplate what to do.
Ever since you were little you were always the kid with the worst birthday present at parties, or you were never the wished upon secret santa at christmas. You don’t have enough money to lavish your love on Spencer like you wish you did. It made you feel bad whenever you got something knowing you couldn’t get him anything like it in return.
You turn on your side and try to push away that persistent feeling that you’re not doing enough, that Spencer deserves someone who can afford to love him. Eventually you grow too tired to think anymore and slip your eyes shut. Sleep comes easier than it should that night and you’re only woken by your alarm early in the morning.
Spencer was worried.
He usually feels at ease with you and knows he can trust you to take care of yourself when he’s gone. However, this week you’ve barely seen him let alone your own bed. Anytime Spencer calls to hang out or take you out on a date he’s interrupted by a, “sorry handsome I’ve picked up the night shift,” or, “I’m filling in for Sandy since she’s out for the day, sorry baby,” and he can’t seem to find a time, day or night, that you’re available.
So he comes up with the only solution. He’s going to your work to forcefully pull you away from your job and take you to his apartment. When he gets there he’s surprised to see that the restaurant is quiet and not bustling like usual. He only spots two people eating at a table and one server walking around. That server isn’t you.
Spencer walks up to the server, Kate, and asks if you’re on break.
Kate looks at Spencer in surprise. “Um no, she left a few minutes ago to go home. The boss made her, apparently she’s been here for, like, three days straight.” she says the last part in a whisper like she’s gossiping to her friend in her high school cafeteria.
Spencer nods and whispers a quick “Thank you” before going back out to the parking lot. He knew he saw your car when he drove in here and decides to check the employees parking, just for reassurance.
Sure enough when he got there he saw your car parked right in front of the back entrance. The car was on and it looked like it was ready to go at any minute. Spencer furrowed his brows as he got closer and looked through your window. There you were, in your car with your uniform still on, sleeping like a baby.
Spencer smiled despite his concern, admiring your peaceful state in the quiet of the night. He doesn’t want to wake you from your sleep knowing it’s probably the most you’ve gotten all week but he needs to make sure you’re okay. 
Spencer knocks on your window and gives a slight chuckle when you jump up in shock. He smiles awkwardly and gives a little wave as you look at him with hard eyes that turn soft when you realize who it is. You unlock the door and step out with a stretch. You yawn before slumping against Spencer.
“Hey baby, why are you sleeping in your car?” Spencer asks softly. He’s trying not to wake you up too much as he wraps his arms around your waist to keep you upright. His heartbeat soothes you enough to let you stay in the drowsy state you find yourself in. Spencer feels you lean more weight on him as your arms encircle his slender form.
“Got off work and felt too tired to drive home.” It was hard to understand you since your face was pressed against Spencer's chest but he heard you well enough to look down at you in concern. He held onto you tighter as he sighed before bending down to pick you up. 
“Let’s get you home sweet girl,” Spencer whispers into your ear as you shut your eyes again and fall back asleep. 
When you wake up the next morning the first thing you register is Spencer's arms around your torso and his breaths blowing down your neck. You groan and shield your eyes from the sun that shines through the curtain and turn your body until you’re cuddled up into Spencer's hold. Your face is pushed into his chest to better hide yourself from the light. 
Spencer shifts slightly and you feel his hand start rubbing up and down the expense of your back. You take a breath in and you’re immediately comforted by the familiar smell of Spencer. He somehow still smells like coffee despite just waking up and he’s got the lingering smell of his cologne that he wore the night before.
 You pull back slowly to look into at him with a small smile before recognition flashes through your eyes. “I’m not at work,” you whisper to Spencer, “I had an early shift today, Spence, baby, I need to be at work.” You try to untangle yourself from Spencer’s tight hold on you but don’t succeed. “Spencer, I'm not joking. I need to leave.”
Spencer shakes his head. “No.”
You look at him, not amused. “No?”
Spencer shakes his head again as his arms hold you impossibly tighter. “No.”
You sigh and stop struggling. Finally looking into his eyes you see the confusion and concern that’s directed at you. And damn does that make you feel guilty. The little seed that was planted at the beginning of the week just keeps growing and growing.
Spencer seems to sense the conflict you feel and kisses the top of your head. “I need you to take a break and tell me what’s going on. You’ve been distant and short with me, and I miss you, I want to see you.” Spencer whispers the confession in the silent room and it makes you tear up a little.
Your head lowers as you try to hide yourself under his blanket. The embarrassment floods through you as guilt eats your inside whole. “I’m sorry,” is all you can manage to say to him. 
Spencer hums in acknowledgment before sitting up and bringing you with him. He sits you on his lap so you’re facing him and he lifts your chin so he can peer into your eyes. “Baby, there’s no need to say sorry, just tell me what's going on in that head of yours, hm?” 
You take a shaky breath in before slowly letting it out to keep your tears at bay. The attempt seems futile though as you can’t seem to hold it together. “I can’t get you anything nice.” You say in a whimper as small sobs escape your lips and you hide your face in his neck.
Spencer’s lips turn down in concern as he thinks about what you just said. His thumb draws small circles on your waist as he contemplates how to go about this. “What do you mean sweetie? You give me nice things all the time.” Spencer tries to point out the things you’ve given him in the past - cookies, a new tie, the pen he uses every day - but it just makes you feel even worse. Those are things that shouldn’t even be considered gifts, let alone nice ones.
“No, n-no, you always get me these necklaces and, and books, and things that I could never afford.” Your sobs interrupt your speech slightly but It doesn’t deter you. “I just want to repay you, give you something nice for a, a change but instead I wo-worry you.” You burst into tears again as you squeeze Spencer tighter.
“Woah, woah, okay, hey, it’s okay. Baby I don’t need those kinds of gifts, I just need you. Is that why you were overworking yourself?” Spencer asks in a worried tone. His lips find the top of your head again as you nod your head against his neck. You hear him sigh before pulling back slightly. You raise your head to look at him and he wipes your tears away when he cups your cheek.
“Your health and happiness come way before an object I don’t even need.” He says in a stern yet soft voice. You lower your head to hide your face but he moves his head as well to keep eye contact. “Hey, I’m being serious, I don’t want you to work yourself crazy just to afford a gift. You’re way too important to me.” Spencer whispers the last part before giving you a soft kiss. 
You sigh after the kiss and look up at Spencer. “But that’s how I show my love, I don’t see you a lot so I like to give you gifts.” Spencer smiles as his thumb strokes your cheek.
“So keep giving me cookies and pens, they really do make my day.” Spencer goes in for another kiss that has you smiling more than you have in days. 
“Okay,” You whisper against his mouth.
Spencer kisses your cheek, then nose, then your other cheek, then your eyebrows, he does this until you’re a giggling mess. “I love you so much.” He finally says as he kisses your lips again.
“I love you too.”
175 notes · View notes
hannahluvsbillie · 2 days ago
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the only one
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casual part 3.
(but can be read as a one shot)
part one
✫ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ~ you thought billie had moved on, seeing her post like it was nothing, she was fine. maybe it was just casual to her.
★ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~ billie eilish x reader
★ 𝐜𝐰! ~ mentions of panic attack, angst, nightmares (?)
ᡣ𐭩 a/n ~ hi! thank you all sm for waiting for part 3!! this one has a little time-skip, i’m thinking maybe 1-2 months since casual part 2. let me know if you like it, hopefully it lived up to your expectations 🥺
it’s been a few months since that last meet up billie and you had. the one where she belittled you and your feelings.
you blocked her the morning after, it wasn’t easy blocking her. someone you fell in love with, but you realized that it was one sided the day she told you it was just causal.
maybe you wanted her to spill her feelings on how she loved you, and didn’t just want you for a quick hook up to relive some steam. but deep down you knew that’d never be the case.
to say you’ve been doing good is a lie, you’ve been.. okay. dating felt pointless as of now, you knew your heart would always belong to billie, even if you two weren’t serious, it didn’t mean you loved her any less.
billie on the other hand, looked like she was doing great. i mean- it wasn’t like you’ve checked up on her, you were non contact. but on her instagram she looked like she was doing great. she’s on tour, her album is still doing good, she has good friends. it was bittersweet to see her now, it still made you cry some nights.
you were laying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you had just woke up from your sleep, a dream waking you up. the dream was a recurring one you’ve gotten for the past few months since you ended it with billie.
the dream went something like this: you were in bed and when you turned over, you see billie, sleeping peacefully. you just observe her for however long until your brain wakes you up.
it never went father then that, it was just a constant reminder of her. maybe that’s why you couldn’t get over her.
suddenly your phone starts ringing, waking you from your daze. you shake your head a little and roll over, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand and rubbing your eyes to see who’s calling.
who would call you at 3 am?
you read the number, you don’t recognize it. it’s your area code, but that’s all you recognize. god- they’ve called you 12 times.
you just decide to pick up, hoping they’d stop after that.
“hel-“ you clear your throat, trying to make it sound like you weren’t just asleep. “hello?” you say weakly.
“y/n?” the other person says.
your heart drops, how could you not recognize that voice? the voice that used to sing praises to you, who used to speak to you in the softest voice, the voice you fell in love with.
“billie? what the fuck?” you say, blinking repeatedly. you blocked her, how was she calling you? you pinch yourself once to make sure you aren’t still dreaming, only to be met with pain. okay, so this was real.
“i know im sorry- i just- i really need you right now, i have no one else to call and i don’t know what to do.” billie speaks, immediately apologizing. you can already tell she was in the middle of a
panic attack. her voice cracking when she speaks. you feel that same pang in your chest hearing her like that.
you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. “okay- bills- billie, calm down. breathe for a minute” you say. you regret answering, it just made everything come back.
you hear her take a breathe and go silent for a moment, before speaking again. “i’m really sorry- i know you blocked me and we aren’t supposed to be talking, but i just- i dont know what to do. you’re the only one that knows how to deal with me when im like- when im like this.” she speaks softly, her voice still shaky.
you go silent for a second, zoning out looking at the floor. inviting her over would be horrible for you, ruining all of the progress you’ve made. but fuck, you can’t just leave her alone, you can’t help but care about her.
“okay- fuck, do you want to come-“
“yeah.”
“okay.”
your eyes widen when she speaks. that was quick. as soon as she says yes you hang up, putting your phone down. what did you just do?
a few minutes later you’re pacing though the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring. the gravity of what you just did sinks in, you shouldn’t of offered.
but as soon as the doorbell rings and you rush over to open the door- maybe a bit too quickly, and you see a disheveled billie, all of it disappears. god you just wanted to protect her from everything.
her hair sticks to her forehead, the same hair that you used to play with, her eyes were red and looked up at you with so
much guilt. it’s obvious she feels horrible
about coming here. maybe she wasn’t as good as it seemed on her instagram. it looks like she’s back in that place she was in when you first met her.
“oh, baby…” you coo, gently putting a hand on her shoulder and leading her inside. when you close the door and look back at her, she looks like a lost puppy, her eyes still swollen.
“i’m- sorry-“ billie chokes out, starting to cry again. you immediately pull her into a hug, gently cradling her head in your hand, the other hand gently rubbing her back.
“it’s okay billie.” you say, gently kissing her head.
you felt so many things, you let her into your house even when she broke your heart, you truely could never deny her, especially when she’s crying in your arms like this.
you’re fucked now.
105 notes · View notes
namfinessed · 2 days ago
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and...cut! - p.jm.
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genre: fluff, very mild angst (13.6k)
summary: the last time you saw jimin, you were pathetically deep in a one-sided love while he wasn't even at the shallow edge, that was when you were on the stage, dancing and acting together for hundreds to see. now, you are grown, you like to think you're cool but when jimin comes back to your life, you are just as pathetically deep, once again, in a one-sided love.
masterlist masterpost
you were breathless when the lights cut out, the crowd immediately broke into loud applause and your teammates gathered around you to congratulate you but as good as all of it felt, your eyes searched for him, desperately, more desperately than you would ever admit to anyone else.
and when you finally caught him, he was leaving the stage, he didn’t turn back like you hoped he would, he didn’t congratulate you like you hoped he would and you swallowed your tears.
but it was okay.
it was going to be okay.
you would see him in class in a few days and everything would fall into place.
for now, you grab the friends around you and squeeze them, hoping everyone mistakes your tears for happy ones.
-
you like to think that you’re cool.
you didn’t cry when you broke up with your first boyfriend, you didn’t crawl back to him and never begged anyone for a second chance. you set a ten-minute timer to cry for your second boyfriend and when he called you right after breaking up with you to ask how you were feeling, you told him you were reading a book and cut the call.
so, yes, you are cool.
maybe a little too cool because now, you’ve been single for two years and your friends take more offense to that fact than you do.
“we are just worried babe, you don’t seem to like anyone,” mia whispered with her hands in her boyfriend’s hands, as if it was some big secret.
“you don’t have to be,” you gulp down your drink, ignoring all the looks your friends and their boyfriends give you.
they didn’t have to be, you were perfectly fine the way you were.
you were totally okay with sitting at the end of the table with an empty seat next to you, you were okay with listening to your friends be all romantic with their boyfriends, you were okay with everyone.
sure, sometimes you wish you had someone to call at night and talk nonsense with, and yes, it would be nice to have someone you can call yours and someone who would sit next to you as if any other place was unacceptable.
but those were all things you could adjust with, all things you have grown to get used to.
“but seriously, you don’t like a single person we set you up with, i know you have commitment issues but i don’t think you’re even trying,” megan, who you could always count on to give you a reality check, spoke up with you guessed it, her boyfriend’s arms around her.
next to her, faye pursed her lips and turned away from the conversation to say something to her boyfriend, you were at least grateful that she didn’t add to the advice.
“you were single till two months ago, don’t act like you’re some love guru,” you bite back and the whole table falls silent and you hate it.
you hate that you have to sit here and listen to them advising you as they’ve figured it all out.
you hate that you look bitter as fuck right now.
you hate that, just because you don’t have a partner, everyone thinks you’re miserable and lonely.
you hate that you probably are miserable and lonely.
“okay, let’s look at the menu, what does everyone want?” mia chimes in, the mom of the group, the problem fixer where glaringly you are the problem at this table, and everyone is gracious enough to follow suit, and check the menus.
except you.
“i think i’m going to leave actually, i feel pretty tired,” you pick up your bag and immediately everyone starts protesting, “you know i didn’t mean it in that way,” megan grabs your hand with softer eyes and you nod, “i didn’t either, i’ll meet you guys another time.”
and just like that, you’re not mad at her anymore.
“please stay, it’s been so long since we’ve met like this,” faye whispers next and you want to scream that it could’ve been just you and the girls, that you hated their boyfriends coming as extended versions of themselves but she did stay quiet, she didn’t encourage your friends shitting on you so you sit back down.
“sorry, i’m late,” your ears pick up on a new voice and you instinctively look up.
you almost kill yourself on the spot.
“hey guys, this is jimin, my friend, i hope it’s okay if he joins us,” noah, megan’s boyfriend gets up and hugs his friend who very gladly returns the hug and nods at everyone at the table as they introduce themselves.
but you already, unfortunately, know jimin.
just not from here, or from any recent period in your life but from a buried piece of school history.
and when he gets to you, you mumble your name and immediately look back at the menu.
what was he doing here?
did he recognize you?
you hope the fuck not because there wouldn’t be a bigger embarrassment than him remembering that he rejected you even before you could ever ask him out.
but when he sits next to you, you stiffen up, mutter out some dish’s name, and pretend to be very interested in the shape of your plate.
why did he smell so good?
“oh yeah, i think she went to the same school,” you hear faye’s voice and immediately, your hands clench on your lap.
“really?” and his voice isn’t familiar or unfamiliar, you know it’s been years, and voices, sounds, and faces change but jimin’s voice always had a certain warmth that no one else seemed to have.
and he still had it.
he carried that warmth everywhere.
especially in his eyes, which were looking right at you when you lifted your head up.
“i’m sorry?” you clear your throat and faye answers, “he’s from your school,” and you make a ‘is that so?’ face and quietly nod along.
“which year did you graduate in?” jimin speaks from your left, you swear he’s recognized you already when he leans into your figure, and god, if that didn’t make you want to shoot yourself.
“2015,” you say and then grab your wine glass, keeping it close to your mouth so that you don’t have to speak.
“oh same!”
you fucking know!
he is delighted of course and the smile on his face still makes your face red.
and that knowledge only twists your guts further.
“that’s great,” you dare to glance briefly to nod at him and then turn back to everyone else.
“okay.” he purses his lips and looks away.
fuck.
you were being rude.
it didn’t seem like anyone really minded cause they continued with their conversations but you and jimin were now deathly silent.
you had to fix this.
you can’t have him hate you in the present too.
“i know you,” is apparently the best you can do and you want to smack yourself when he raises his eyebrows at you because, from a supposed stranger, that was creepy and mildly horrifying to hear.
“oh?”
“yeah, you were in the cinderella play in school, the prince,” and it was out.
now you have to hold your breath and see if he laughs in your face.
“i was,” and then he cranes his neck to look at you.
really look at you.
you wait.
you know he’s going to hate you when he figures it out, you know that you’re going to kill yourself at this table.
but he keeps looking, eyebrows narrowing and dropping, eyes scanning your every feature, and you know he’s putting his earlier pieces together, that it’s finally clicking for him.
his smile disappears.
his eyes lose all warmth.
you can tell the second that it clicks for him.
“you were cinderella.”
you can’t hide, you can’t look away, you can’t run, all you can do is meet his cold and sharp gaze.
and nod.
he looks away, puts his head down, and lets out the heaviest sigh.
you try not to reach for the knife on the table.
-
the rest of the dinner was…awkward.
so painfully awkward.
once in a while, the conversation would turn to you both and you would force yourself to say a few words before going mute whereas jimin enjoyed the conversations only to fall mute whenever you spoke.
it was embarrassing, the hot kind of embarrassment that paralyzed your entire body, every movement you made felt unnatural and forced, every time your hand moved, jimin would jerk away and towards the end, you just folded your hands on your lap and refused to be mobile.
if anyone noticed anything, they didn’t say a word.
“we should still get a few more drinks,” megan insists outside the restaurant and you twist your entire face at her, “what?” she shrugs her shoulders and you look away, panic rising in your throat.
two hours beside jimin was torture enough.
any more and you would probably combust.
“actually, i agree,” jimin steps away from his conversation with noah and for a split second, you catch him looking at you but you turn away, though the split second still leaves your knees shaking.
“i would love to host you guys at my place if everyone is comfortable,” he offers graciously, a smile reaching his eyes, warmth so bright and inviting on his face but you know that the invitation didn’t extend to you.
and the same way you fell head over heels for him, you see everyone around you falling for him, their eyes soften, they all nod at him and start cheering at the long night ahead of them and you, well, you just want to go home, knock a few teeth out and escape from the country with a fake passport.
but everyone turns to you, your silence is a bit too loud in their chaos and you stammer as all of their faces pick up in anticipation.
“i’m gonna turn in for the night, you guys go ahead, have fun!” you raise your fists in cheer, cringe internally at yourself, swallow that shame, and start waving goodbye and turning around to leave.
and you were truly so close.
so, so close.
your cab was booked, the night was done and you exhaled in relief.
until you hear steps coming towards you, “come, it will be fun,” jimin’s voice was still new, a sound that almost knocked you over and you shifted on your feet, “you don’t want me there.”
“did i tell you that?”
“you don’t need to, jimin,” you hate how breathless you sound when you say his name.
jimin tilts his head at you, eyebrows furrowing again and you want to duck and crawl away from his sight, “i would lov-“
and your cab pulls up.
you clear your throat, “thanks for inviting me, but i have to go, goodnight,” and you step away towards your cab, not waiting for his response.
as your cab pulls away, you avert your eyes away from the pavement where he stands, eyebrows furrowed still, and eyes following the tires of the cab.
you take a deep breath in.
you would never see your first crush again.
and that was probably for the best.
-
sixth grade was life-changing for you.
it was the first time you realized you could feel so much for one person, even if you never intended it to happen that way.
you didn’t even know someone called jimin existed in school until he walked into your practice room, with a head full of thick, soft hair, with this smile that had you frowning, with this walk so confident which was uncommon in guys your age.
everyone was busy being cool, everyone was busy being something they were not but jimin was always just him.
when your drama teacher announced him as the prince in your drama, you nodded and looked away, passing him the script later and walking away.
liking jimin was never part of the plan, liking jimin wasn’t something you ever saw as a possibility, you always thought his personality was too much, too loud, and that he was a little too naïve and a little too bubbly.
but soon, he became your prince, as if every terrible cliché in the world had to come true, he became everything you would ever want in someone.
-
days passed, you watched the photos on your friend’s instagram from the night that you never ended up staying for, and you felt a jolt of joy every time jimin was in their pictures.
he still looked fucking gorgeous, he still smiled with his entire face, and he was still tall and moved with a confidence that guys, even at your age now, usually lacked.
it was a shame that he hated you.
you sighed, put your phone down, and waited for your nephew to burst out of his preschool class. as an aunt, you were constantly on babysitter duties, those duties included picking and dropping him places, taking him out to the park, attending parent-teacher meetings if your sister was too busy like she was today.
it was exhausting at times but your nephew was your baby too.
speaking of your baby, sunoo runs out the door full-speed, eyes darting everywhere before they land on you, you’ll always remember his smile as he heads straight towards you, your heart always picks up and immediately your arms are open to him.
“hey baby,” you mumble into his hair and he giggles, holding onto you tightly and you stand up, with him still koala wrapped around you.
when you look down again, a little girl is staring up at both of you with large eyes and you are immediately concerned.
where are her parents?
why is she alone?
“bubba, do you know your friend here?” you ask sunoo, who, to your relief, nods aggressively and signals to be put down.
and as soon as his feet are on the ground, he hands you his bag to hold her hand and your eyebrows jump up your forehead. sunoo was a very shy kid, he didn’t talk much to kids in the class, and his world was only your family.
so, when they both smile at each other with half their teeth still growing, your heart warms and you bend down to their height, “hello sunoo’s friend, can i know your name?” you hold out your hand and the girl shyly reaches out to take it, “arin,” she whispers before putting her hand back in sunoo’s and you giggle at the sight.
they were adorable.
“is it your first day here, arin?” you don’t remember seeing her and she nods, “this is my new school.”
“ah okay, sunoo, do you want to head inside for the meeting? arin can come in as well, yeah?” you look at them and hold out your hands to each of them which they happily take and you almost collapse when you turn around.
“you’ve got to be kidding me.”
jimin stood, a few feet away from you, with a pink backpack held loosely in his hands and your face immediately dropped.
this can’t be real.
this cannot be your tuesday morning.
this cannot be your life at all.
“what are you doing here?”
“what are you doing here?” you stare at him pointedly with your arms across your chest and he rolls his eyes, “that’s my niece next to you, she started here today,” and at that, you bend a little to see arin’s face and surely, the resemblance was there.
full cheeks.
and warm eyes.
god loved to punish you.
“oh.” and arin smiles at you, you smile back a little hesitantly and turn to see jimin who’s eyebrows have furrowed deeper than ever.
“yeah,” he looks exasperated at your presence and you try not to get hurt over it, “this is my nephew, by the way,” you point to sunoo, not knowing what else to do or say, and he waves at jimin with a toothy smile and like magic, jimin’s entire face melts into the most beautiful smile.
oh, fuck him.
he starts walking over and you clutch sunoo’s bag tightly, watching as his feet fall one after the other, watching as he completely avoids looking at you when he bends down to ruffle sunoo’s hair and press a kiss to arin’s head.
you hate when men are nice to kids, it makes it so much harder to despise them.
“oh, sunoo’s aunt! i didn’t know you came with your boyfriend,” you freeze at the sound of sunoo’s teacher coming from the hallway and jimin freezes too as she starts quickly walking over to you.
marjorie was an older woman who loved sunoo and you, she was the only teacher you trusted completely and she was also a bit chatty.
this was a live nightmare.
“he’s so handsome, good for you,” she slaps her hand on your arm while gushing at jimin and you, once again, wish to change your identity and immigrate to some unknown island.
“we’re not-“
“that’s not-“
and you both pause to glare at each other with pure venom in your eyes.
he may have been your first crush but he was insufferable and you didn’t need someone else to think that you were together with him and his horrid personality.
jimin probably thought you were enjoying this, people mistaking you to be a couple, just like in school, but he was so wrong, he wasn’t nearly as cute as he was in school.
marjorie clears her throat and stares at you with anticipation, you hate to break her bubble but, “i don’t know who he is marjorie, i think he’s related to your new student here,” you point to arin and she starts looking between the both of you in confusion and jimin extends his hand to her, “i’m arin’s uncle, i’m here for her parent-teacher meeting.”
she nods with a smile, taking his hand graciously, “oh that’s lovely, arin’s mom did say her uncle was coming today, come in, come in, you too, sunoo’s aunt,” and starts walking ahead of the both of you into the classrooms.
you and jimin follow her in, you watch as he takes in the school and the classrooms and smiles at the artwork made by the children all over the walls, you look away with an irritated scowl.
why did he pretend to be some children-loving, kind jesus when he was absolutely vile to you?
“by the way, you two look so good together, it’s a shame you’re not a couple,” marjorie smiles at the two of you and you both nod stiffly at her which seems to delight her as she walks into a room.
you and jimin glare at each other one last time before following her in.
-
sunoo is still holding arin’s hand as you and jimin awkwardly follow the two of them outside the school, the parent-teacher meeting was done, thankfully, only two other teachers assumed you were a couple but was that really a win?
“okay sunoo, why don’t you say bye to your friend and we can go home?” you step forward from the slow, uncomfortable pace set by you and jimin, sunoo pouts and tightens his hand around arin’s which makes you frown, and look at jimin who was also observing the scene in front of them.
“but arin,” he starts tearing up, his face scrunching up and your panic rises, “it’s okay baby, you’ll see her in class tomorrow and every day after,” you try to calm him down, “it’s saturday tomorrow,” he whimpers and you wince, “well, it’s only two days bub, i’m sure arin wants to go home too,” and arin starts pouting too, “no.”
wow, she looked even more like jimin when she pouted.
you look at jimin again helplessly and he also seems to be panicking, at least you weren’t alone.
“sunoo, arin,” he bent down, “you two are in the same class, you will see each other again soon, for now, everyone should go home after class,” jimin’s tone was strict but still soft enough not to trigger any tears but just when you think he’s a better guardian than you, arin huffs and throws her bag on the floor, “no!”
you almost join the bag to laugh on the floor at the shock in jimin’s face.
“she never does this,” jimin says with his mouth still wide open as he gets up and you raise your eyebrows, “i think she gets it from you, the drama of it all, it’s cute, don’t worry,” and he glares at you.
“kids, for today, we have to go home, another day, i’m sure we can do something,” you try to appease them and jimin scoffs next to you, making you narrow your eyes.
“wouldn’t you love that?” your mouth falls open as his eyes roll back in irritation.
the fucking gall this man has.
“shut the fu-“
your colorful words are interrupted by sunoo and arin, who are so in sync already, that they begin their sniffing and subsequent loud cries together.
you immediately shut up to meet jimin’s eyes in horror as both of you see the kids melt into a puddle of tears before you.
“okay, okay! what do you want?” jimin is the first to give in and you want to smack him on the head, you should never give in to kids, that was the rule, you should always wait for their meltdown to finish and then bribe them with something less than what they want.
“seriously?” you give him a dirty look.
“i hate to see her cry,” he whispers to you and if it were anyone else, you would gush, to be honest, you were gushing, but you were also hiding it really well.
“playdate!” it’s like they never cried at all, children were truly magical.
you stare at jimin, waiting for him to respond because if you guys agreed to the playdate, you were also agreeing to spend the next few hours together.
and you didn’t want to be the one to agree to that, it was bad enough that he thought you were getting a kick out of meeting him like this.
he finally lifts his head to look at you, you shrug at him with your heart beating thunderously against your chest, you almost place your hand on it to calm it down but it only gets louder when jimin smiles at you, “sure, that would be fun.”
-
“yay!” sunoo and arin burst into jimin’s house, throwing their shoes and bags at the doorstep to wander off into the house and you are left with jimin, who just like you, would rather be anywhere else.
“thanks for hosting, we’ll do it next time,” you mumble while shrugging your coat off and he smirks, “if you want to see me again, you can just say that.”
you throw your coat on his face and stomp into the house, letting go of any politeness or manners that you would usually have and his giggles float into the air around you, making you scowl.
if he wanted to behave like a pig, he would be treated like one.
“i meant it though, sunoo doesn’t talk to anyone so it was nice to see him bond with arin, but i won’t be the one hosting it, it would be my sister, so no one’s dying to see you, settle down,” you sit down on the sofa, keeping your back straight and legs neatly crossed over the other, and scanned the house that you’ve only seen on instagram till now.
it was a nice house, cosy and bright and definitely expensive.
“arin doesn’t usually talk to anyone either so works for both of us.”
“but what if i wanted to see you?” he joins you on the couch and you roll your eyes, “can you stop with that nonsense?”
“it’s not nonsense, just a question,” jimin shrugs, “tea or coffee?” and you’re appalled at his skills of diverting a conversation, “green tea, if you have it, thanks,” and he laughs, walking into the kitchen, “you know, you don’t have to be so formal with me, we know each other,” and you squirm in your seat.
“i know you’d prefer it if we didn’t,” and jimin pops his head out of the kitchen, “what makes you think that?”
“seriously?”
was he dumb or were you overthinking this?
you get up and walk over to the kitchen where jimin stands, in the simple t-shirt and jeans under his coat, and he looks unjustly attractive in that bland outfit.
“did you forget school or something?” you ask again and he shakes his head, handing you a mug of steaming green tea, “i haven’t forgotten anything, i’m very sharp in case you didn’t notice already,” and you have to let out a groan at his tone.
“i know you hate me, jimin, you don’t have to sugarcoat anything just because we’re older now,” you take a sip, appreciating the light sweetness in the green tea, “did you add honey?”
“nope, cinnamon and i don’t hate you, where the fuck did you get that?” he looks at you as if you’re insane, as if you’ve imagined the times he ignored you in school, as if you’ve imagined him smiling at everyone but you during drama practice, as if you’ve imagined him leaving the stage without even looking at you.
was this what people called ‘gaslighting’?
“um you were an asshole to me and an absolute angel to everyone else,” you try to sound cool and casual about the whole thing but you were dying a little inside about having to have this conversation.
“when?”
“always.”
“no, but when exactly?”
“are you really going to make me say it?” you raise your eyebrows at him, there was absolutely no way that he didn’t know that he was your first crush and that he hated being liked by you.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” and you force yourself to smile because if you didn’t, you might just throw the mug in your hands, onto his face.
“you look weird,” he frowns at you and you purse your lips, trying to keep your calm, “i really have no idea why you think i hate you, then or now.”
and you were done.
“during play practice! you smiled at everyone, talked to everyone, played along with everyone, talked to them even after the play finished but never to me! are you happy now that i’ve said it?” you push the mug away from you on the counter and fold your arms across your chest, looking away to some corner in the kitchen.
if there was a feeling more dreadful than shame, you were feeling it right now.
how embarrassing that you still remember every single detail about him, how your adolescent mind never really let him go, how your crush on him was so clear, so true that it never left you.
“y/n,” he calls out and your heart is in your throat.
his voice, even as a kid, was so soft, he always spoke so well, he always spoke as if the opposite person was the most interesting person in the world but somehow, that tone never came when he talked to you.
“can you look at me?”
“no.”
“no?” he laughs out, palms coming up to cover his smiling face and for a moment, you’re starstruck again, you can only stare at his smile that held the world’s love and warmth, from your periphery though.
“okay, don’t look at me but i never hated you-“ and just as you’re leaning into listen to jimin, loud stomps break the moment and you’re both turning to see who’s coming.
it’s sunoo.
and he’s crying.
“baby, what happened?” you get up from your seat to sit on your knees in front of sunoo, “home!” is all he says and you frown, “that’s no way to talk in a home that has invited us, sunoo,” you weren’t as strict as his mom but kids needed to be disciplined from time to time.
“it’s okay,” jimin sits beside you, “what happened, big guy?” he coos at sunoo who instantly falls into jimin’s arms and you’re left baffled, this wasn’t like sunoo at all, he never touched anyone until he liked them.
this was dangerous.
“arin’s not giving me her toys, i want to play too,” sunoo says between hiccups and whines and you straighten beside jimin, “those are arin’s toys sunoo, you should ask someone before you use their stuff, you know this,” and he falls silent.
“but arin should also share, right? she should know that too,” jimin rubs his palms on sunoo’s back who nods furiously, “i asked!”
“okay, let’s call arin and we can sort this out?” jimin suggests but sunoo shakes his head, “home,” he says again but with exhaustion instead of anger.
oh, the trials and tribulations of a 5-year-old.
and you know that once he’s tired, he won’t listen to a word, “i think we’ll head home, he’s tired so,” you scoop sunoo up in your arms and he immediately curls into your shoulder.
“i’m sorry,” jimin sighs and you let out a laugh, “they’re 5-year-olds’s jimin, it’s no one’s fault, and we’ll arrange something for them at mine or my sister’s, okay?” you don’t know why you’re trying to console him but it came automatically.
at the door, jimin casually wraps your coat around you, being careful to not disturb sunoo who was already dozing off, and you walk to your car with your hands and heart full.
“let’s talk sometime, yeah?” jimin says from next to you and you narrow your eyes, “why?”
“god,” he throws his head back with a delighted look on his face, “i just want to talk, jeez,” and you nod reluctantly.
“here,” he opens the door for you to put sunoo in carefully, you could’ve done it yourself but you didn’t mind the help.
“thanks…for today, it was nice of you,” you look at jimin and he nods with a teasing smile, “i can be very nice,” and you roll your eyes, closing the door and effectively creating a barrier between you two.
and you can finally breathe.
while you pull away, you feel your heart thud and thud and thud again.
seeing him with sunoo and spending so much time alone with him did a number on you, you’ll have to write down why you hate him to make sure that no lingering feelings surface but as you leave, he smiles at you through your side view mirror and you’re not sure you ever stood a chance.
-
it only took you a few seconds to understand what you felt, that it was against everything you had believed until then.
it was the first time you were so close to a guy, his hands were a little above your waist, your hands were on his shoulders, and his face was (so) close to yours.
you were practicing for the ballroom scene and when you looked at his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, you felt your stomach drop with the realization that you liked him, this guy that seemed so ordinary some minutes ago, became something magical, something beyond you and your heart.
“come closer, you two,” your drama teacher shouted over the music and you mindlessly shuffled forward and jimin moved with you, hands tightening on you by instinct and your breath hitched.
you danced weakly, still reeling with the consciousness of liking him and he looked like he did any other day.
later that day, everyone left the practice room except you and jimin, you waited for him to look at you at least once, say anything, you would’ve hung onto any word but he scurried out of the room just as you opened your mouth to tell him what you felt.
“jimin, can we talk? i think i lik-” and he was out of the door.
as if he could sense what was coming next and wanted to avoid it.
and since then, you never brought back the courage to tell him anything.
you had to make peace with that, your buried feelings in your heart had to stay buried.
and you coped with that until the day of the actual play, until he looked like he wanted to say something too, right when the ballroom scene started.
but then, he didn’t turn back on the stage, and you were left warm from his touch, cold from his absence, hurt from his steps away from you, and hopeful from how he looked at you in the eye while you danced.
-
“are you sure that it’s the same guy?” your sister’s voice came from your phone’s speaker and you sighed, “unfortunately, yes, he is,” and she laughed an evil laugh that told you how much she loved this situation.
“this is golden, you used to be so obsessed with him,” she gasped, you were sure her mind was playing the whole reel of you gushing about jimin, “that was a long time ago, give it up.” you groaned and scrolled mindlessly through your instagram.
jimin had sent you a follow request after you left his house a couple of days ago, you almost fell from the bed when you saw it pop up on your screen but what was more embarrassing was the speed with which you accepted the request and sent one back.
“oh my god, i just remembered how you would go for that weekly school exercise thing just to see him! you used to bend forward, backward, to see him a few lines away, this is amazing, this is amazing!” she sang from your phone and you winced at that memory.
it was true, you only went to the weekly drill to see jimin, a quick glance of his face used to make you unexplainably happy.
but with your fingers scrolling through his posts now, you guessed that some things just don’t change.
jimin would probably be doing the same thing, no one sends an instagram request without the intent to stalk that person’s profile, right?
but maybe he has a life and you don’t.
sigh.
“can you send me a picture of what he looks like right now? also, what is sunoo doing?” she asks and you frown, “sunoo is sleeping and why do you need his picture?”
“i just want to see,” and she starts rambling about how she deserves it as your sister, you tune it out, getting up to answer the door when the bell rings.
“it’s just so crazy to me that he’s back in your life, like imagine meeting your first crush in your nephew’s school? i bet it’s only yo-“ but you’re not listening to her at all anymore because at the other side of the door, are jimin with arin, who have both now heard your embarrassing older sister.
“anyway, send me a picture after you’re finished stalki-“ and you cut the call.
“hello.” you clear your throat, and he waves his hand while arin beams at you.
“oh wait, please come in,” you open your door wider, watching with wide eyes as they both step in and take in your home, you are suddenly too conscious about your pajamas and hair.
you weren’t expecting visitors.
what is he even doing here?
just as you’re about to ask jimin, he turns to you with a guilty look which consists of sad, puppy eyes and a slight pout.
arin truly gets it from her uncle.
how is that look not turning you off?
you know for a fact that the same exact look on another man would have just pissed you off.
“sorry to come so suddenly, you mentioned where you lived in one of our messages and arin was killing me all morning about wanting to see sunoo, and i tried to calm her down, i really did but you know how it gets,” jimin rambles on and on, and you nod along, only half distracted by his long coat and ruffled hair.
he must have come in a rush too.
and yes, you were texting each other and no, it’s very casual and friendly talk only.
“i thought they were fighting?” you ask and signal jimin to follow you into the kitchen where you put on a pot of water to boil.
how did he look like he belonged in your space when he was in it for all of two minutes?
“i thought so too,” jimin laughs and you smile at the sound of his laughter, you loved it then, and you love it now, someone should shoot you to snap you out of whatever magic spell jimin has cast on you.
“arin baby, what do you like?” you turn to her and she shakes her head, “you’re not going to ask me?” jimin raises his arms up in question and you hum, “you take what i give you, park jimin,” and he’s laughing again.
wow, you must be some extraordinary comedian.
“sunoo is sleeping right now but i’m sure he would love to see you guys, i’ll just be right back with him,” you place a cup of green tea in front of jimin and start heading out of the room.
“honey?” you hear as you’re leaving, “nope, cinnamon,” you reply, ignoring the shiver up your spine from how he called out honey.
after a lot of struggle with sunoo’s blanket and begging him, he was finally out of the room and standing in front of arin with his arms crossed, you and jimin watched with interest as they stared at each other.
“what do you think they will do?”
“fight?” you offer and jimin rolls his eyes at you, “they’re kids,” and you shrug, “kids are very good at fighting.”
and your eyes snap back to them when arin hugs sunoo over his crossed arms, you and jimin look at each other with your hearts melting as sunoo tries to resist but soon, gives up and wraps his arms around her.
“they’re so cute,” he whispers, and you nod with your hand over your heart.
sunoo and arin then take off to the living room where his toys are laid out and they’re lost in their own world within the next five minutes.
you and jimin sit in the kitchen, sipping your tea and looking at each other, only to return to sipping your tea, words lost in your tongues and throats.
“was that your sister on the phone?” and you ignore it, staring at the cup of tea with much focus and interest, “hey, she was, wasn’t she?” his voice gets more teasing, more light, more carefree and you hate that it makes you smile, you hate that your cheeks still flush in his presence.
“i won’t tell anyone or will i?” he winks at you when you finally look up and you groan, slamming your face into the table and he giggles next to you, uncontrollably.
“i’m going to kill myself,” you mumble into the table and he brings his hand forward to push your face away from the table and…towards him, his face and you almost fall off a chair once again because of him.
“don’t worry, i stalked you too.”
-
it was scary, how quickly you could come to terms with the fact that you liked jimin again, how quickly your heart accepted him even if ages passed and even if you’ve both changed.
“why do you even like him?” this was a question that your friends had asked you then, a question that your sister asked you then, and a question you often asked yourself.
it was simple to you.
jimin was different.
softer than other men but stronger too.
more delicate but also more protective.
he could make you blush and burst into laughter, in all of two seconds.
he was always like that, even when kids back then were trying to be cool and tough, jimin carried a bright, easy smile with care for the people around him. even if it didn’t always extend to you, it was still there.
but you think that might have changed.
“and you’re sure you are free to pick sunoo up?” your sister asks and you nod happily, “absolutely, don’t worry, i got him,” and she thanks you before cutting the call.
and now, you’re standing in front of his school in a better outfit than you normally would wear, you’re giddy with sweaty palms and flushed cheeks, but you don’t hate this.
“looks like someone’s all dressed up,” you don’t stop yourself from grinning at jimin’s voice from a few feet away.
fine, maybe you’ve been picking sunoo up a lot more these days but that’s just you being the best aunt in the world.
“unlike you, people like putting an effort into their outfits and personal style,” but you’re lying straight out of your teeth, jimin had a very good sense of style but he didn’t need to know that and besides, when he laughs and bumps your shoulder with his, your heart lights up.
so, this is what park jimin is to everyone else.
this is what everyone else felt when they were next to him.
how did all of them not fall in love with him?
you couldn’t have been the only one.
you don’t think you’ve ever felt this sure of something in your life.
you like chocolates, but not in milkshakes or when they are dark.
you like reading books, but sometimes you get into a slump.
you like romantic comedies, but sometimes, you find them cringeworthy and unrealistic.
you like jimin.
but….nothing, you just liked him.
“should we go get ice cream after this?” you turn to see him and he raises his eyebrows so, you quickly backtrack, “sunoo keeps asking for it and arin would like it too,” and he nods at it, you nod fiercely with him.
what your nephew wants, he gets, of course.
“i didn’t ask for ice cream,” is the first thing that flies out of sunoo’s mouth when you tell him about it, you are frozen with your knees bent as jimin stifles a burst of laughter behind his palms and you know if you turn around, you might as well bury yourself six feet under.
“sunoo,” you warn-whisper and he just tilts his head at you, you drop your head, there is no point in blaming your nephew for this, you’ve done this to yourself.
you grab sunoo’s hand and speed-walk to your car without looking back, with red cheeks and shaky palms.
the universe seems to be hell-bent on making sure that you embarrass yourself in front of park jimin for the rest of your life.
“hey hey, where are you going?” jimin pulls you back with his hand around your elbow and you purse your lips, “did you not hear my nephew out me?”
he throws his head back in laughter, “i did but don’t be silly, let’s go,” and you frown, “go where?”
“for ice cream,” and you’re lost again, he’s tutting at you, “if you want ice cream, we’re getting ice cream,” and looks down at you with a grin that has you holding your smile back, “okay.”
at the ice cream store, jimin hovers around you, asks you your favorites, asks you if you like desserts, asks if you like movies or tv shows, and you answer each question with increasing fondness towards him.
god, you must love attention.
“you were so intimidating in school,” and your jaw dropped, “no, i wasn’t! if anything, you were intimidating,” and jimin shook his head, “no way, how was i intimidating? i talked to everyone.”
you wipe ice cream from the corners of sunoo’s mouth as you speak, “that was intimidating to me because i didn’t talk to too many people,” and jimin nods, “and for me, you were intimidating, i could talk to literally anyone and everyone but you.”
“but why?”
“why?” he looks up in question and you pause for a second, not knowing if you should continue the sentence, “but why was i intimidating? why couldn’t you talk to me?”
because i would’ve given everything to talk to you, stays deep in your throat.
jimin sits back in his seat, pondering for a few seconds and you almost take it back, you almost tell him to forget it but then he opens his mouth, “you were intimidating because you were always good at what you did,” and your eyes widen by their own accord, you had never heard that from anyone except your drama teacher.
“i don’t know if you remember but i was so lost in the beginning, i didn’t know anything about acting but you set this example that i could follow and it was easier for me, you were constantly checking on me too,” he laughs amusedly, as if that time was playing behind his eyes and you crack a smile too, though your heart just got warmer and warmer until it felt like it was catching on fire.
“you were good at it too, jimin, especially the dance,” he was taken for his dance skills first and he was bloody good at it, “i know, i was amazing,” and you’re throwing a tissue paper at him.
“but i wanted to talk to you,” he nods as he speaks and you can’t help it, “because you knew that i liked you?”
he stops himself from grinning, “that was the biggest shock of my teenage life, y/n,” and you roll your eyes, “i know, it’s hard for me to believe too,” he groans and slides into his seat, making you giggle.
“did you…really like me?” his voice is soft, unguarded, and he throws one arm over his eyes, you notice his cheeks are red too and you shift in your seat, the mood was shifting, you didn’t want to giggle and deny it like you probably would have if he asked that even some ten seconds ago.
“i did,” and he removes his arm, and stares at you unsuredly, as if he doesn’t believe you and you clench your hands on your lap to hold back from saying anything else.
“home!” a chorus from the kids you’ve forgotten about brings you back to life, a life where it wasn’t just you and jimin in it.
jimin smiles, “how about a refill?” and as they cheer out loud, he looks at you, and you know that look.
he had something to say.
-
you both got scolded by your respective siblings for giving their kids extra ice creams but it also meant that the kids loved you more, you and jimin had giggled about it on text.
it was a win-win for you.
but what was even more of a win-win was that jimin purposefully got them extra ice cream to spend more time with you, you are about 90% sure that’s the reason.
you spent about half the day in that ice cream parlour, and jimin asked you questions that no one else ever has and you asked him all those things you never got to when you were in school.
it was terrifying, to talk to him like that, to give him parts of what made you, you, and it was especially terrifying when you gave all of it away so easily.
“so, you’re coming to pick him up, right? like this isn’t an extra task for you?” jimin’s voice through a phone was different, lower, more serious, you loved it.
“definitely, don’t even worry about it, i’ll pick her up and bring her over,” you didn’t know what it said that he trusted you with his niece but it had to be something good, it made you feel fantastic.
“thank you so much, seriously, i owe you one,” and you can sense the relief in his tone, “you do owe me one, yes,” he laughs at your tone, “you get here, i’ll make it up to you very well.”
on the whole way there, you are so giddy that you can’t stop smiling.
you never understood why people got so excited over phone calls but if it was up to you, you would’ve never even cut the call with jimin.
when you get to the school, sunoo and arin are holding each other’s hands and standing obediently next to margaret.
“hi kids, today auntie is going to take you both home, are we excited?” sunoo and arin raise their hands up in joy and you resist the urge to pick them both up and give them one nice hug.
“her uncle called and said you would be picking her up,” margaret smiles at you knowingly and you roll your eyes, “it’s nothing like that margaret, we’re good friends,” and she scoffs at you but it only makes you giddier.
it felt good that someone, besides you, liked the idea of you two together.
you: picked them up, on my way over!
jimin: thanks again, see you soon <3
you almost throw your phone out of the window in happiness but for the sake of the kids, for them to think you’re not some insane person, you just grin and put your phone aside.
“okay arin, let’s go to your uncle’s place,” after checking them, you fasten your seatbelt and they both cheer again.
oh, you love these kids.
as you pull away, they instantly start rambling about their day, which picture they were made to draw, which teacher annoyed them, which toy was stolen, which color pencil they lost and you nod intently, offering dramatic reactions wherever you could.
“and then mummy told me that i had to throw away some toys but can you talk to mummy? i like my toys,” sunoo whines to you and you sigh, “you got it buddy, i’ll deal with your mother.”
“so arin, what have you been upto? anything exciting?” and she lights up, “i drew a castle today, do you want to see?”
“of course baby, as soon as we’re home, i absolutely have to see it,” your agreement only makes her happier, “our new home is nice, i like it, mummy and daddy made my room pink, and i even have a close friend!”
“is that so? who’s this lucky person?”
“it’s miss ana, uncle jimi’s girlfriend! she’s always over at uncle’s home and she likes me, i like her too.” and she goes back to swinging her legs and poking at sunoo until he laughs.
in the front seat, you are frozen and confused.
“your uncle has a girlfriend?” you try to sound casual and you hate that you’re asking a kid about this but you couldn’t help it.
“yeah.” she shrugs and goes back to sunoo.
you felt your stomach turn.
of course, he has a girlfriend.
of course, you had read it all wrong.
of course, you are the idiot again.
you kept your eyes steady on the road as the feeling of nothingness settled into you.
you would get over this, you got over jimin once, you could do it again and next time, you wouldn’t make the stupid mistake of thinking that anyone could ever like you for anything more than what you present them. you’ve gotten over first boyfriends, situationships, and dates which felt like they would lead somewhere and you would get over this too.
it was weird that you could still feel the same embarrassment of liking jimin, the same pathetic feeling you get when you overestimate yourself and what people feel about you, rises and falls in your chest.
but it was okay.
you’ll get over this.
-
“oh jimin! jimin!” you turned your face away from classmates who yelled his name.
somehow, the cat was out of the bag and everyone knew about your crush on him, your bets were on one of your play’s cast members but you couldn’t point a finger at anyone. your school was small and boring enough for this kind of stuff to spread quickly.
it was true, you did like him, a lot but you never wanted anyone to know, you only wanted him to know.
you were hoping to catch him alone, tell him that you liked him, and accept whichever response he gave you, he didn’t have to like you back but now, he knew, you knew that he knew, it was just not in the way you ever wanted him to know.
and then one day it happened.
the quiet rejection.
the annoyance of being liked by someone you don’t like back.
“look, look! they’re together” you were in the hallway, talking to your friends and jimin was just a few feet away, your friends were subtly pushing you toward him while you pushed back and his friends were pushing him.
that itself was embarrassing enough.
then, your back hit his back and you froze, skin tingling already but he immediately pushed away, and you heard him yell at his friends.
“how many times have i told you guys not to bring her up? how many?” jimin was a gentle guy, that was the first time he had yelled at someone and it was because of you.
and since then, whenever you were in the same room, he would look away with an irritated sigh, he would leave the room or he would glare at his friends until they shut up.
you took it all in, you really did, you just reasoned to yourself that you too, would be very annoyed if your friends acted like that.
but one day, you were alone in your art classroom, arranging some portraits and he walked in, your eyes met his and you were both too aware of how empty your surroundings were, for the first time in a really long time.
he immediately stepped back, his footsteps landed heavily as he walked away.
no one was there.
no one to make fun of him, no one to see or hear.
but he still pretended that you didn’t exist.
your feelings were more tender then.
your heart was a bit too soft and you had taken that as his reply, his response, his rejection and you buried your crush.
your chest was tight the entire day, you couldn’t speak without choking up because as much as you accepted his rejection, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
he never uttered a word to you since then.
you vowed to yourself never to like anyone too much again.
-
“how was school, guys? i missed you,” jimin hugged arin and sunoo as soon as they entered his home and you stood near the door frame with your heart in your throat.
today wouldn’t have been so hard if you didn’t have to see him.
they leave his arms and run into the house, their bags and socks left behind and you quickly collect sunoo’s stuff to put them aside.
“hey,” he appears beside you and you nod, keeping your eyes away from his face.
“i missed you too,” and you wish that you didn’t give in to seeing his face because as soon as you turn to face him, you are in front of his warm eyes and smile, the ones you were so jealous others could see.
but whatever feeling tried to creep on you, you shoved it away.
you nod again, swallowing and the warm scene fades and it’s replaced with a stiff awkwardness that both of you feel in a flash.
you see it go away, the warmth, the smile, the eyes, all of it drops and you hate that you feel terrible even if you didn’t do anything.
“arin made a castle drawing, it’s in her bag,” you say and jimin frowns before shaking his head, “of course, i’ll see it later.”
and your head bobs once again, the only response you could produce at the moment and when jimin steps forward, you step back.
“hey, is everything okay?” he asks, fingers reaching to scratch the nape of his neck confusedly, “yeah, everything’s fine.”
this time, he’s the one nodding and pushing his hands into his pockets, “i’ll make you tea, come on,” you have no choice but to follow him in, though you stay at least five steps behind him.
any touch from him would break your resolve, you couldn’t afford that, not anymore.
“honey or cinnamon?”
“honey.”
“alright,” jimin frowns once again, turning away to boil some water.
and you sit there, wondering if this is all you could ever be with him, wondering if both of you were always destined to be close and far, you feel scalded by the fact that he had never mentioned a girlfriend, you hadn’t asked but he shouldn’t have been texting you the way he was.
“you know, i owe you one,” he turns with a mug of steaming green tea and you stiffen in your seat when he hands it to you with a small, unsure smile, “would you accept dinner as me making it up to you?”
twenty minutes ago, you would’ve jumped up, spilling hot tea everywhere, and closed around him, your arms and heart giving even more way for him, but that was twenty minutes ago, now your arms and heart were closing in on themselves.
him rejecting you in school, you could handle.
him hating your presence, you could handle.
but this, you could only handle for about five minutes before you crumbled.
you should’ve never let your young feelings grow and stay.
“don’t worry about it, you don’t have to do anything, it was just one pickup,” you shrug, playing with the handle of your mug and you see jimin visibly deflate.
“okay, i don’t know what’s going on, is everything okay? did i do something?” the pleading in his tone was there, the sincerity in his face was there but you couldn’t believe any of it.
“nothing happened, jimin, it’s just that you don’t have to make up for anything,” you couldn’t bring yourself to confront his betrayal, to ask him about his girlfriend, you know that any answer would just hurt you more.
“fine, i don’t want to make up for anything, i want to take you out on a date, a proper date without anyone else around, because,” and he pauses, you release the breath caught in your chest, grateful and disappointed that he didn’t finish his sentence.
“i don’t think that’s a good idea,” you give a weak smile, feeling your bones tighten in your body, you would snap like a bowstring if this continued.
jimin looks away, chest rising and falling slowly, he squeezes his eyes shut and you see his hands shake as he whispers, “why?”
“sunoo is sleep!” arin’s yell makes you get up immediately, the distraction was welcome and needed, “also, see this!” she shoves her drawing into your hands and you smile at the messy green castle.
“it’s beautiful, arin, just like you,” you tap her nose and she giggles, you are all too aware of jimin’s stare on your back so, you pat her head and rush to take sunoo out of her bed and into your arms.
you held your nephew tighter to you, his sleeping form was the only thing keeping you stable, you never realized before how much you needed him the way he needed you but today, you needed him most even if he was just sleeping in your arms.
you don’t say bye to jimin on your way out, you only hug arin, ask her to take care, and leave his home with your mind so heavy that you feel like you could tip and fall over.
but as you pull away, you catch jimin in your side mirrors, he stands as if he’s lost everything, you almost turn back, break down in his arms, and ask him why he was so cruel to you, but you drive away instead.
-
“and you’re sure that he won’t be there?” you ask megan for the third time over the phone and she sighs, “listen, it’s his friend, i can’t tell him not to invite his friend but i did tell him that something happened, the rest is truly up to him,” and you bite your lip in annoyance.
it’s been two weeks, you’ve successfully avoided jimin at sunoo’s school, you’ve ignored his calls and deleted his texts without reading them, and you were only one more week away from mentally cutting him off completely.
but again, the universe hated you and noah’s birthday came up right as you were starting to forget that a person named jimin existed.
“you’re right, i’m sorry for being difficult and i’ll be there, noah is sort of my friend too,” you give in, you couldn’t be a bitch to your friends just because you were going through something, and megan hums, “but just know that i won’t judge you at all for not showing up, it’s totally your call.”
you thank her and close your eyes as the call goes dead on the other end.
what a fucking mess.
-
“happy birthday to you!” you sing with everyone else as noah shyly stands in the center with the birthday candles lighting up his face.
it was nice to see your friends again, you melted into every hug they gave you as you walked into noah’s home, you almost teared up at how much you needed them, you were annoyed with all of them just weeks ago but now, you saw clearly that you needed people who cared about you in your life.
“how are you feeling now?” faye put her head on your shoulder as you sat on the couch and you hum, “i’ve been better babe but i’ll be fine soon, i promise,” you squeeze her hand and she purses her lips, “i don’t think he will come, you know, it’s already been a while since the party started, everyone will leave in an hour or so,” and you know that she’s trying to make you feel better.
“thank you for saying that but even if he does come, it’s okay, it’s not like i’ll see him after this,” you shrug and she nods unsurely, “but it’s also okay if you feel shitty that he’s here, you know? you don’t have to pretend that you’re fine with all of it, it’s not a great situation, he lied to you and you’re hurt, you’re allowed to be hurt.”
you blink back tears as you try to rush some air into your lungs that tighten with each word from her.
“i love you, faye.” you whisper, “i love you more,” she smiles and pats you on the back before getting up, “now i’m going to get us some drinks so you stay there in that emotional mood,” you laugh at her and shoo her away.
maybe you weren’t fine now, you won’t need to be for a while but you’ll be okay at some point.
you sigh, you don’t want to be here anymore and pretty much everyone’s given you the green light to leave, you can always have drinks with faye another time so, you get up, surer than ever that you don’t want to be okay anymore, you kiss your friend’s goodbye, you thank noah for inviting you and you step out to the cold night.
right near your car, just as you feel relieved and light, you hear it.
“y/n?” and then quick footsteps.
a presence behind you.
his voice in your ears and bones.
and you freeze.
you hold the key to your car and your legs feel so heavy, they might as well be dead, and you blink, you do nothing but blink until he’s in front of you.
you almost cry at the sight of his face.
“you’re leaving?” jimin huffs out, his breath leaving white clouds in the night and you just stare.
how could someone so beautiful lie to you?
you only come back to earth when you feel him scanning your face and body, as if he was re-remembering what you looked like, as if he was savoring you in front of him but you knew it was all deceitful.
and you lose it.
“don’t you feel ashamed?” you breathe out, feeling every nerve in you tighten impossibly, your body was once again a bowstring being pulled, in front of him.
tight and so breakable.
jimin’s entire face falls, “about what, y/n? why haven’t you been answering my texts and calls? why are you suddenly ignoring me? what is going on? i tried to come up with so many reasons but none of them made sense, i thought we were heading towards something good?” and his face looks so pained, so sad that you almost break.
almost.
“i should’ve never fucking liked you in school, i should’ve never given you that ego boost, i should’ve seen you for who you are,” you angrily spit out as you fumble with your keys and open your car.
without looking at him even once, you climb in, leaning back once you are in.
but immediately, as you begin to start the engine, another door opens and jimin is in your car.
jimin is in your car.
“what the fuck are you doing? get out!” you yell at him, and he shakes his head, “i’m not going anywhere until you explain to me what is going on.”
“i don’t have to explain shit to you, get out jimin, or i swear to god,” you huff out, feeling your hands shake from the rage you felt, he doesn’t move an inch, “or what?”
“seriously?”
“yeah, if i don’t get out, what will you do?”
“i’ll fucking crash this car.” you level your glare on him and he sits back, “do it.”
“what?”
“do it, crash it, i’ll pay for the repairs, but i’m not getting out until you tell me why you hate me right now.” the calmness he had at that moment, the level in his tone never wavering, pissed you off even more.
“fine, we can sit here all night,” you shrug, desperate to match his cool, you switch off the engine, “fine by me,” jimin shrugs back and you clench your teeth to not groan at him.
minutes pass, you tap your foot against the floor of the car, he looks out the window, and both of you sit stubbornly without making a move.
you should be furious.
you should be still trying to kick him out.
but you slowly start to deflate, your anger fades bit by bit as the feeling of missing him, liking him even now, begins blooming in you again.
“who is ana?” you whisper, not trying to hide how sad just mentioning her name made you.
whatever his answer was, you would move on.
you never liked him for him to like you back, not then and not now, but it felt good to believe that somewhere, he felt the same desperate, pathetic love that you did, that somewhere, he was different with you the way you were different with him, that he too lost his cool and common sense when it came to you.
“what?” he frowns and you sigh, “please don’t lie to me jimin, just tell me who she is and why you never told me that she was your girlfriend.” you choke back the sobs building in your throat, and jimin immediately leans towards you, “hey, hey, what girlfriend are you talking about? i don’t have a girlfriend.”
you laugh bitterly through your tears, “so, you’re calling your baby niece a liar?”
“arin? what did she say?” he continues to frown, seemingly growing more confused by every passing second, which only makes you more confused, “that ana is your girlfriend? she’s always at your place?”
“ana? oh!” and jimin throws his head back on the seat, eyes closing in what you thought was relief, “ana is her new babysitter, y/n,” you huff out in annoyance, “believe it or not jimin but i’m not as stupid as you think i am, how fucking convenient is it that a woman your niece calls your girlfriend, turns out to be her sitter.”
and he gapes at you before throwing his arms up, “i’m sorry that the truth is convenient and fits with the situation!” he yells back at you and you glare at him, “oh really? then why is she over when you’re there with arin already? why does arin think she’s your girlfriend? do you have an explanation for any of that?”
“i do, but only if you’re willing to at least hear me out,” and jimin is back to calm, back to zen, and you want to push him out of the car, “see, i know it sounds bad if she just mentioned the girlfriend part but i’ve told you, arin is shy, she never talks to anyone, she doesn’t like sitters, she takes a lot of time to get used to strangers so i’m a buffer until she gets used to ana so, that ana can just babysit her at my brother’s place instead of mine.”
you narrow your eyes at him as you process his words. unfortunately, it made a lot of sense, sunoo was the same, that is why you always babysat him.
“okay, then why call her your girlfriend?”
“because she thinks friends if they’re girls are girlfriends,” he sighs out and you purse your lips, that also made sense, especially with kids as young as sunoo and arin.
“i see.” you whisper back, not knowing how to feel about all this, it made sense, you should be over the moon, falling into his arms, telling him that you feel everything again, that you like him again but you freeze instead.
you were so ready to move on.
you were so ready to never see him again.
and you were so ready to never know his response, to never know what he felt.
but you are here, in front of him, as he waited for you to speak with anxious eyes and you only felt overwhelmed.
“okay.”
“okay?”
“thanks for explaining, if you get off, i will go now,” you keep your eyes on the road ahead of you, refusing to look at him even through your periphery.
“seriously? do you need time or is something else wrong?” you hear the pleading in his tone, the desperation, you wonder if you ever sounded like that to him.
“nothing’s wrong, i’m glad you explained, and now, i’d like to go home,” this always happened, whenever your emotions got too much, whenever it seemed like everything would fall on your head and crush you, you slipped into robot mode, where you refused to feel anything, where you refused to be human, where your feelings were nothing but dust in the air.
it’s how you never went back to a boyfriend, how you never begged anyone for anything and it kept you protected.
“why are you doing this?” but god, the crack in his voice might just break your resolve.
“doing what, jimin? i just want to go home,” you try to reason and he huffs in annoyance, “that’s not what this is, you aren’t even looking at me.”
and you pause.
take a deep breath.
look at him.
and the warmth you missed for all your teenage life, lights you up, beyond his frown, his gathering tears, his clear sadness, his warmth peeked through and stared straight at you.
you knew you had to go, leave before you couldn’t but where will you go?
how many times will you turn your back on yourself?
how many chances do you have left with jimin?
and will he ever take those chances the way you will?
“you’ll never like me, jimin,” you start, unwilling but forcing yourself to pull through, he opens his mouth to protest and you cut him off, “you’ll never like me as much as i like you.”
and his mouth falls shut.
“and i’ll always know that, i’ll always know that you like me less than i like you, that you hated me at a time when i would’ve done anything for you, and by some miracle, it’s changed now, you might like me but never as much as i like you, my past of loving you as a kid, will always haunt me, and your rejection then will always hurt me,” you have tears dripping down your chin by the time you’ve finished and you know it will only pain you more if you look at him so, you stare at your lap.
you wait for him to get off, to go away, to finally understand why you two would never work out.
“so, please let’s leave this be, i’ll continue to bring sunoo around for arin, we can be civil for them but whatever this is, i can’t do it, not with you,” you whisper, hoping that it was loud enough for him to hear but he stays eerily still, staring into nothing and you wonder if he didn’t hear you.
“jimin, can you-“
“what about me?”
“now you’re just being childish,” your anger rises again.
“no, i never got the chance to explain my side at all, what if i like you more? what if i liked you way before you did?” your heart stops in your throat at his words but you shake it off, “this isn’t a competition, jimin!”
“fine, then this should just be a casual question, when did you start liking me? in school, when did it start?”
“seriously? what are you trying to prove here?” you turn to fully face him with a scowl.
“just tell me.” he sits just as rigid, just as fed up, and it only irritates you even more but your face goes red nonetheless at the memory, “ball room scene, dance practice.”
“i liked you when you gave me the script,” and you want to look away, ignore all of what he says but you only lean in further and he leans in too as if letting you in on a secret that no one else knows,  “i remember exactly how stomach-bottoming it felt, how scared i was because i thought you would never like me back.”
“really?” you’re leaning in even closer, so much more desperate to every other secret of his.
“really, and i’m not saying this because it’s a competition, i’m saying this because i couldn’t then, i didn’t have the courage, i liked you so much that the thought of you rejecting me, it would’ve killed me,” he laughs, both amused and horrified at the truth spilling out from his lips, but you see the fear too, the restrain in his breath, and it makes your own shoulders fall.
“then why did you act so annoyed whenever someone teased you?” you whisper again, embarrassed to ask the question because it made you feel like a kid again, the same kid who hid her feelings to make sure that he wasn’t inconvenienced by your heart.
he drops his head in quiet laughter, “imagine you like this person so much that your whole body fails you, and there’s some idiots making it even harder for me to look you in the eye,” he looks up at you as he says it and your spine weakens to fall on the seat behind you, every word of his puncturing itself into your heart.
jimin copied your movements and fell back too, sighing out, “i also knew how annoying it could be for you so i thought if i acted like that for a while, they would forget but fuck, they were persistent. honestly, i thought you would figure it out because of them.”
“figure out what?” you are breathless by the time the question escapes you.
“your crush was never one-sided, y/n, but mine was, at least for a little while.” you blush, not knowing what to do with your face anymore, you didn’t know if you were smiling or frozen or frowning but the numbness, the blind excitement left you gasping.
and jimin purses his lips, “i might’ve been this bright kid who talked to everyone then, but none of that helped me when it came to you, it was like every bit of confidence i had fell from me when i was around you and it was alarming, you know, it was so fucking scary to feel so different because of one person.”
and there it was.
the confirmation.
that he was different with you, that he too lost his head with you.
“what about later? when we met again?”
“oh that, i was trying to be cool, it didn’t work, right?” he winced and you couldn’t help the laugh bubbling out of you, “nope, not at all.” and jimin bangs his head against the headrest and you sit there, smiling.
it was strange, the elation and frustration you felt, it was strange to sit next to jimin and hear the words from him that you’ve waited for forever.
but you won’t hold that over him anymore and you were done burying your heart.
“i like you,” you say, twisting to face him and he smiles, not bothering to hide it, “a lot, jimin, i liked you then, i like you now, a lot and i’m scared.”
he leans forward to take one of your hands into his palms, you melt your fingers into his skin, and he speaks with a smile and with the world’s confidence and fear, “i like you, i’m sure that like is love too, it’s always been there and i’m scared too.”
“but i like you and i’ll continue to do that while i’m scared.” and any worry you had, flies out the window.
you feel brave.
you feel like you could fly and never see the ground again.
you stare at him for a minute or two, until his face is in your head like it’s your own face and you cross the barrier, in this case, the handbrake in your car to climb into his lap and you shiver when he buries his face into your neck.
you loved him when you didn’t know what it meant, and jimin loved you before he ever knew his heart could feel so much.
and that was enough for you to smile into his hair and wrap your arms tighter around his neck.
“i’ll do the same, jimin.”
-
jimin felt heavy with the love in his heart, with his arms on your waist, with his fingertips touching your skin, he felt overwhelmed, a bit crazy, and definitely scared out of his mind.
this was it.
the performance.
after today, you probably wouldn’t even look at him again, he’ll probably be just another guy who sees you walk down the hallway.
he knows when this funny feeling in his heart started, you had passed him the script and walked right past him to teach someone else how to do their scenes, and instantly he saw you, he saw nothing but you.
being the loser he was, he messed up any scene he could so that you could walk over, glare at him, and then, help him endlessly, help him until he was perfect (which he already was).
and he was alone in that pathetic-ness, alone in that feeling until one day, you looked at him as if he hung the stars in the sky and he didn’t know what to do with himself since that day.
but he had you in his arms, he had you in front of him, he had you in every moment of being on the stage and he knows he can’t just get off.
“and…cut!” jimin deflates, his arms that were so sure of holding you, weaken and fall from you.
then, the lights die and his confidence dies, and he feels ashamed of himself, so much so that he leaves the stage immediately.
he hears the cheers, the screams, the applause but none of that matters when the words he’s wanted to say die inside of him.
but he stops below the stage, looks up to see you hugging everyone on the stage, and hates himself a little but charges forward.
he would love you from afar.
but he would continue to love you.
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damien--dalgaard · 1 day ago
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Sometimes it feels like “thank you” and “I appreciate you” just don’t quite cut it for all the ups and downs we’ve been through together. It's not even been a year but we’ve been each other’s anchor and compass, steering through good times, rough patches, and all the times in between anyway. It’s like I’ve known you for a lifetime. From all the days we’ve laughed till our stomachs hurt to the nights when words were hard to find, you’ve been there. And it’s something special, you know? To have a friend you don’t have to put on a front for, who sees you—the real, raw, messed-up parts—without judgment. With you, I don’t need to filter out the ugly, or pretend to be tougher than I am. There’s this unspoken understanding that we’ve got each other’s backs, no matter how messy it gets. Sometimes life hits hard. It leaves us with wounds nobody else can see, scars from fights we can’t even explain. And somehow, you’re always the one I can talk to when it feels like no one else would understand. You’ve been there, patiently listening, throwing in a bad joke when I needed to laugh, or just being there in silence when that’s what I needed most. It’s like you know when to step in and when to just stand beside me, making sure I know I’m not alone. And I hope I can be the same for you. You know I’m here to watch out for you, pick you up when you’re down, and be that voice that reminds you that you’re stronger than whatever you’re facing. You’re more than a friend. You’re my brother, my bromance and an evil third thing. @deanobannion
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nekomamiiz · 22 hours ago
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kuroo — 550 words
tags; fem!reader, established relationship, oral (f! receiving), referring to female anatomy as 'her', some cockwarming, lowercase intentional, tetsurou is certified adorkable
divider by @/cafekitsune
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kuroo sometimes has conversations with your pussy… 
i cannot stop thinking about him catching you lounging on the sofa as he walks in the house. you hear some rustling of the objects in his hands and within seconds he's on top of you, kissing your lips, trailing down your neck and chest.
he lifts your shirt and tucks his head under the fabric, licking, kissing, and biting the skin on your tummy.
he finally gets to the place he’s been thinking about all day. he taps your thigh and you lift slightly so he can remove whatever article of clothing you have covering yourself. he slides the material down your legs and rests your thighs on his shoulders
“god i’ve missed you so much,” he practically shivers when he finally gets a face full of your perfect cunt. his fingers digging into your skin, tongue already slipping out to wet his lips.
“i missed you too, tetsu,” you say with a giggle, probably hiding your face behind the book you're reading.
“oh yeah,” he blinks twice. “yeah i missed you too,” he regards you with the most guilty expression you’ve ever seen and he tries to give you an endearing smile as his eyes shift from your face to your pussy.
it doesn’t work, he’s already been caught. 
“if you wanted me to be ready for you, you could’ve just called ahead of time,” your voice dips an octave lower—sugary sweet—and it makes him groan, causing him to grind his hips against the couch.
“let me just spend some time here, okay? i’ve been thinking about this all day, wanna make my girl feel good.” 
he does exactly that. you come twice thanks to his skillful tongue and he wastes no time after that to strip you down, settling you onto his lap, his hands on your ass as he bounces you up and down on his cock. 
he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous lost in pleasure, and he knows he's the only one who can get you to this point. that thought alone sends him over the edge, but he’s nowhere near finished with you yet. 
he carries you to the bedroom, your naked body wrapped tight around his, your laughter reverberates through your shared home and he finally settles you on the bed. he hovers over you, peppering your face in kisses as he did before. 
“okay now let me say good night and put her to sleep,” he chuckles as he makes his way down to your dripping center, glistening with your combined fluids. 
he licks between your folds once and places a soft kiss on your clit, you hear him whisper ‘good night pretty’ from where he’s at and then he makes his way back up to you. he quickly slips his cock back inside you and you can’t help but stare at him in disbelief.
“what?” he asks as wraps his arms around you. 
“you’re still the same dork i fell in love with all those years ago,” you tease and he can’t help but chuckle at your words. 
“good to know i’ve still got it then.” he says with one more kiss to your cheek. 
you wake up a few hours later with his head between your thighs.
again.
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couldnt get this out of my mind and wrote it on my lunch break yesterday, it ain't much but it's honest work aka this might b trash ahaha anyway i hope you enjoy <3
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fayes-fics · 24 hours ago
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The Ballad of Blunt Pencil & Pizza Wheel
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: Comedy texting fic. Childhood frenemies moving in together is a great idea. Isn't it?
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Warnings: None really. Swearing, references to sex, masturbation, dirty talk and spanking. Frenemies to lovers. Comedy. A fuckton of sass. Bridgerton family shenanigans.
Word Count: 3.9k tricky with text fics ngl
Author's Note: Request fill for Anon (who wanted Ben and reader to have been secretly in love with each other and get together after she has a breakup). It might be slightly unusual, but it’s what the muse insisted on as a response. Thanks to the ever-patient @colettebronte, who willingly reads my silliness, including a partial version of this nonsense. Enjoy! <3
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BB: *Fraggle Rock theme tune*
Y/N: Why don't you just say hello like a normal person? Y/N: *Insert sighing emoji here* (I can't be arsed to find it)
BB: Excuse me, this is actually a very supportive message BB: I heard from El you got dumped
Y/N: And how does an 80s kids' show theme song help me with that??
BB: Have you paid attention to the opening line??
Y/N: No…? Y/N: Too busy enjoying the rocking guitar tbh
BB: Fair BB: 🎶Dance your cares away, worries for another day🎶 BB: See?? supportive
Y/N: You are so weird Y/N: And also oddly accurate. He was a total muppet
BB: It’s taken you 30 years to figure that out?? BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: No, just… appreciating it. Well, you Y/N: Thank you, by the way
BB: 🫶😀
3 weeks later
Y/N: What is the capital of Burundi? Pub quiz is getting fractious
BB: Why don't you cheat like every other team and just use Google? BB: Why bother old friends?
Y/N: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Charisma, I didn't realise your Tuesday night was so busy
BB: Friends don't leave friends who love pub quizzes out of their pub quiz teams 😛
Y/N: You're cute when you sulk Y/N: So… the answer?
BB: I’m not Jeeves  BB: Look it up yourself
Y/N: Wow, you really are such a blunt pencil
BB: ??
Y/N: Pointless
BB: Alright, pizza wheel
Y/N: ??
BB: All edge, no point
Y/N: *has left the conversation*
BB: Typing it doesn't make it happen
Y/N: *HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION*
BB: Neither does yelling it pizza wheel
Y/N: Don't make me call you pencil boy…
5 weeks later
Y/N: Pencil boy, it happened again
BB: Yeah… definitely don't like that BB: What did?
Y/N: Send TV theme…
BB: *Fraggle rock theme intensifies*
Y/N: Thank you
BB: No problems BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: Me too. Really thought this one would stick Y/N: He even liked my Cabbage Patch kids 
BB: You still have that shit?! BB: They are low-key terrifying
Y/N: He did turn them all around when we had sex though 🤔 
BB: Got his number?
Y/N: Why??
BB: Sort of agree with him on that. Might want to be his friend, not yours
Y/N: Shut up, Pencil Boy
BB: Pizza Wheel BB: We have to stop flirting like this 👀
Y/N: Pffft  Y/N: This isn’t flirting 
BB: Isn’t it?
Y/N: Are your clothes still on? 
BB: Well, yeah…
Y/N: Then it’s not my style of flirting 
BB: Bit slutty (supportive)
Y/N: The brackets saved you there, Pencil Boy
BB: Well aware BB: You’ll be okay. There’s someone better out there for you BB: Someone who appreciates Cabbage Patch kids
Y/N: THANK YOU. Was that so hard?
4 days later
Y/N: Can I call you?
BB: Yes of course BB: What’s wrong?
Y/N: Best explained over the phone  
BB: Okay. I’m here BB: Whatever you need
2 hours later
Y/N: Thank you friend Y/N: Just… thank you 
BB: Anytime 🧡 BB: I meant what I said BB: If you need it, it’s yours
Y/N: You are a great and wonderful friend Y/N: I may well do so 🧡
BB: You are always welcome here. For as long as you need
Y/N: 🫂😘
1 day later
CB: You invited Y/N to move in with you?!?!
AB: 😳 Surely not?!?! AB: He can only have one colossally bad idea a week and that hoodie was a choice
BB: Good evening to you too brothers BB: Hope you’re well BB: I'm fine, thanks. You?
CB: Yeah yeah whatever CB: I don't see a denial here
BB: 🤷 
AB: You fucking idiot
BB: Why? I’m trying to help a friend here BB: I thought it was a nice thing to do?
CB: It is 
AB: Usually 
CB: There’s just one problem 
AB: You are completely in love with her and have been since you were 5
BB: Pffft BB: Please…
CB: That’s your denial??  CB: Even I could do a more convincing job than that
BB: Pen would suggest otherwise…
AB: Don’t fling mud to distract AB: We are talking about your stupidity atm, not his
CB: Oi
AB: Don’t even
BB: Listen… she just got dumped for the 100th time BB: Her flatmate is moving out cos they lost their job BB: She can’t afford the rent on her own or a place by herself at the moment cos she’s still burdened with debt resettlement from her criminal asshat ex from 2 years ago BB: She needs to be in London for her job and her parents have moved to Wales BB: What would you have done?
CB: Tell her to move in with El?  CB: Or literally any of her other friends?!
BB: Well I have a spare room…
AB: So does El
BB:
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AB: Memes? Really?
CB: You’re just jealous cos you can’t figure out text attachments
AB: Shut up
CB: Kate thinks it’s hilarious
AB: Leave my wife out of this
*BB has left the group*
*AB added BB back into the group*
AB: You don’t get to quit being our brother 
BB: Shame
3 minutes later
CB: Wait… What did you mean about Pen?
AB: How can you be this stupid? I paid for you to go to Eton…
*BB has left the group*
AB: Can’t fault him this time tbh
*AB has left the group*
CB: Rude…
1 week later
EB: I have a spare room y'know
Y/N: I’m aware
EB: So why subject yourself to Ben?
Y/N: You are all so horrible about each other 
EB: And you love to watch it 
Y/N: 🤷‍♀️🍿 Y/N: Anyway, I’m here now Y/N: He bought new bedding for me 🥹 Y/N: I didn’t have the heart to tell him I already have 4 sets
EB: I know he’s my brother and thus deserving of shit. But don’t torture him too much
Y/N: What the fuck are you talking about?
EB: I suspect he has a leeedle crush on you tbh
Y/N: Pffft Y/N: No he doesn’t Y/N: All we do is call each other names and snark  Y/N: It’s been that way since 1994. I don’t see it changing anytime soon
EB: It’s like she’s never read Shakespeare
Y/N: That’s BenedicK, not BenedicT
EB: Funny how you knew exactly what play I was referring to, Beatrice
5 seconds later
Y/N: Gen… Is Ben into me?!
GD: What’s brought this on?
Y/N: Answer the question!
GD: Why are you asking me if my ex likes you?
Y/N: Please… You fucked like twice 3 years ago and are still friends Y/N: Don’t pretend there is any trauma here Y/N: I’d really like to know, seeing as I’ve just moved in with him 
GD: You fucking did WHAT?! GD: Why?!
Y/N: I needed a new place Y/N: He was the first to offer
GD: What kind of rash reason is that?! GD: I have a spare room GD: El has a spare room GD: Dave and the gambling debts in your name weren’t bad enough…? GD: It’s like you’re actively trying to live in a Greek tragedy, I swear
Y/N: Don’t invoke that shit’s name
GD: Sorry GD: But really…
Y/N: So you’re saying he’s into me
GD: For an intelligent woman, you know fuck all GD: Even about yourself
Y/N: Why are all my friends so rude to me?!
GD: Bitch please. You are so in love with him
Y/N: I’m not
GD: Yes you are  GD: He’s always the first person you text when you have a breakup
Y/N: Yeah… cos he’s the only one of my friends who ISN'T RUDE TO ME
GD: OR you always want him to be the first to know you’re single again
Y/N: Not sure I want to be your friend anymore
GD: Fine. Give me back my Canada Goose coat
Y/N: Let's not be too hasty now…
2 days later
BB: Do we have milk?
Y/N: How should I know? I don’t drink the stuff
BB: Aren’t you working from home today?
Y/N: Yeah? And?
BB: You have these amazing things called legs…
Y/N: I have a block button too y’know
BB: You wouldn't block the hero who single-handedly removed 2 spiders from your room last night
Y/N: … … Fiiiiine
20 seconds later
Y/N: We, or rather YOU, could do with some more
BB: Okay. Thank you
Y/N: If you’re in the mood, I wouldn't say no to some cheesecake
BB: I’m not in the mood BB: Mostly because you are lactose intolerant and won't stop bitching about the regret afterwards BB: I’ll get you some non-dairy brownies
Y/N: What kind of flatmate are you?
BB: The awful kind who looks out for your best interests
Y/N: Urghhh, the very worst
3 days later
Y/N: Bennnnnnn!! BEN!! SOS!!! Y/N: ANOTHER 🕷️
BB: It’s fucking 3am
Y/N: That's why I texted Y/N: So much politer than screaming and banging on your wall Y/N: It’s not my fault you live on some kind of spider superhighway Y/N: I never would have moved in here if I knew
BB: It’s harmless. Go back to sleep
Y/N: What about if this time it’s some poisonous one that crawled from a Shein package? And you wake up to a dead flatmate?
BB: Arguably, that’s appropriate payback for your endorsement of such a horrendous company
Y/N: I don't judge you for your odd shelf of little rocks Y/N: So don’t judge me for my sparkly shoe addiction
BB: How about I lend you a rock to throw at the spiders?
Y/N: How could you?!? I don't wish death upon them Y/N: Just for them to live their lives nowhere within my vicinity Y/N: You know you would have been back to sleep by now if you had just come in here?
BB: I’m aware BB: I have no idea why I’m still arguing with you on text BB: Slightly worried what that says about me tbh
Y/N: IT’S MOVING TOWARDS ME
BB: omw
9 days later
KB: You guys need to stop
Y/N: What? Y/N: Why are you texting from my kitchen?
KB: Look at yourself KB: It’s not your kitchen. It’s my brother-in-law’s
Y/N: I live here too, Kate
KB: And you need to stop
Y/N: STOP WHAT?
KB: Do you see where your feet are?
Y/N: ??On the sofa??
KB: They are in Ben’s lap
Y/N: And??
KB: He has his hands wrapped around your ankles
Y/N: And?? Y/N: I get cold. He helps me sometimes
KB: When are you guys going to admit to what is happening here
Y/N: NOTHING IS HAPPENING
KB: Sure Jan
Y/N: Get back over here with the Monster Munch. I need Netflix snacks, not judgement
KB: I’m just saying… I pulled this shit with Ant and you rightly called me on it
Y/N: MONSTER MUNCH KATE
KB: Don’t glare over at me like that. Way to make it fucking obvious…
2 seconds later
*BB added KB and Y/N to a new group*
BB: What are you two arguing about?!
Y/N: Mind ya business, Pencil Boy
KB: Your lack of decent snacks
BB: Not my area. She is responsible for all junk food purchases in this household. I will not be held liable.
3 seconds later
KB: Pencil boy??
Y/N: It's a long story
4 seconds later
*AB added KB, BB & Y/N to a new group*
AB: ARE WE WATCHING THIS FUCKING FILM OR NOT?!
1 month later
Y/N: Gen… I fucked up
GD: What did you do??
Y/N: I should never have moved in here
GD: Yeah, I told you that weeks ago GD: Why the sudden revelation?
Y/N: He has a girl here
GD: And?
Y/N: I can hear them… thru the wall
GD: Yikes GD: Go for a walk or something
Y/N: No Gen. It's worse Y/N: So much worse Y/N: I can hear what he is saying
GD: GO FOR A WALK
Y/N: Gen help Y/N: Help Y/N: H.E.L.P. Y/N: It's turning me on…
GD: I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ANY OF THIS!
Y/N: I had no idea he was a dirty talker
GD: I could have told you that…
Y/N: Why didn't you?!
GD: Why would that ever be relevant to our friendship?!
Y/N: You know that’s my weakness Y/N: You should have WARNED ME
GD: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO PREDICT YOU WOULD EAVESDROP ON HIM HAVING SEX?!
Y/N: This is so awful Y/N: I don't know what to do Y/N: I’m in a quandary Y/N: A damp quandary
GD: Eww T-M-FUCKING-I
Y/N: I might as well just masturbate at this point
GD: I am hanging up on this text thread GD: I’m also off to put this phone in Dettol. Don't text me again for another few days
2 days later
BB: Why are you avoiding me?
Y/N: I’m not
BB: Yes you are BB: You haven't been home the last two nights BB: El said you’ve been hanging around her place 
Y/N: Ok fine. I am Y/N: This is so awkward Y/N: I… I heard you Y/N: Having sex  Y/N: I’m weirded out, okay?
BB: Shit… BB: I’m so sorry  BB: I thought you were out on a date
Y/N: It got rescheduled
BB: I'm so sorry BB: Next time I have company, I will double-check if you are home first
Y/N: Thank you Y/N: I will do the same
BB: Much appreciated BB: So, will you come home?  BB: There’s a new series of The Cleaner tonight 
Y/N: It's not real blood, you know?
BB: I know, but it looks like it
Y/N: You can't keep hiding behind me. You miss key plot points. It's a comedy show, you know
BB: Just get back here, Pizza Wheel
Y/N: Calm down, Pencil Boy I’m on my way
9 days later
BB: Send him home
Y/N: ??
BB: You heard me
Y/N: Why are you eavesdropping on my Tinder hookup?
BB: Don’t make me come in there and be a caveman about this. Just… BB: SEND HIM HOME
Y/N: I need sex
BB: Not from a twat like that you don’t BB: When he is out of the bathroom, I want you to send him away
Y/N: … Fine
3 minutes later
BB: Thank you
Y/N: You owe me a bloody orgasm
BB: He was likely incapable of giving you one  BB: When you are sober, you will thank me BB: And probably regret that last comment
Y/N: I regret nothing Y/N: I DARE you Benedict fucking Bridgerton Y/N: I fucking DARE you to give me an orgasm
4 hours later
Y/N: Gen Gen Gen GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: I know it's 2am, you are probably asleep, but I have to tell you smthg right the fuck nowwww Y/N: So, Ben went all protector shit on a loser I picked up on Tinder Y/N: Made me throw him out Y/N: I bitched that he owed me an orgasm Y/N: Might have been a bit too sassy, too many drinks Y/N: Anyway GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: He stomps into my room, and god, he just…. Y/N: ARGHHHHHHHH Gen, he just took me, like respectfully, but also not at all respectfully Y/N: HE GAVE ME TWO Y/N: I am floating on a cloud. I can't feel my fucking knees Y/N: My flatmate is the best fuck I have EVER had Y/N: THIS IS TERRIBLE AND WONDERUL Y/N:  I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE Y/N:  HELP  Y/N:  PS Pls don't tell anyone
20 seconds later
BB: Stop freaking out about what just happened and come back to bed
Y/N: Ben we just…
BB: I know. Active, enthusiastic participant here BB: Don’t spiral about it. Just come back to bed BB: We can talk in the morning
Y/N: Did we just ruin everything?
BB: How is that not spiralling? BB: Get your lovely arse out of the bathroom and back in this bed, y/n, or istg I will spank it
Y/N: 😲🥵
BB: Oh I see. Hmm BB: Good to know 😜
5 hours later
GD: WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK?!?!?!?! GD: THIS IS WHAT I WAKE UP TO?! GD: WHY DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?!? GD: CALL ME!!!!
2 hours later
EB: Why aren’t you at work today? Are you sick? EB: Did the Shein spider get you? 
1 hour later
EB: I guess it did  EB: Serves you right 😛
1 hour later
GD: WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME BACK YET? GD: I must have left like 10 missed calls by now
2 hours later
AB: Not to sound like a total dick, I know we’re family etc., but you are supposed to tell me if you’re taking a day off work Ben AB: Even nepo babies have some responsibilities
30 minutes later
KB: Why are Gen and El wondering where you are? KB: Text them, and also me now, too KB: I’m vaguely concerned but mostly nosey tbh
2 hours later
EB: ?????????
1 hour later
GD: Call me bitch.
2 hours later
CB: Where the fuck are you Ben?  CB: You never miss boys' night down The Ship normally?
30 mins later
Y/N: Uh hi 👋 Y/N: Sorry… Y/N: I uhh have been busy today
EB: Gen and I were ABOUT TO SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY
Y/N: Please tell her I’m okay Y/N: I will call. Just not now
EB: Where are you?
Y/N: At home
EB: I am coming over!
Y/N: Please don’t
EB: Why not?
Y/N: Another time Y/N: I know I’m being all mysterious and shit Y/N: I will explain everything I promise
EB: Is Ben there?
Y/N: Yes
EB: Then tell him to look after you EB: I’m weirded out, you weirdo
Y/N: Oh he will  Y/N: I promise you he will Y/N: I errr won't be at work tomorrow either. Can you tell the boss?
EB: Are you sick?!
Y/N: Umm… yeah, let's go with that
EB: STOP BEING SO WEIRD
5 seconds later
BB: El, y/n is fine
EB: How is this any of your business?
BB: You literally asked for me to look after her 5 seconds ago
EB: How do you know that?! EB: Are you reading her texts?!
BB: She is showing them to me
EB: WHY!?! EB: What is this cloak and dagger shit?! EB: Did you fuck or something? Lol
1 minute later
EB: DID YOU?!?
1 minute later
EB: Y/N DID YOU FUCK MY BROTHER?!?
1 minute later
*EB added BB & Y/N to a new group*
EB: Answer me, you sneaky bitches
BB: We would appreciate some privacy at this time
10 seconds later
*EB added KB, AB, CB, PF, DB and SB to a new group*
EB: BEN AND Y/N ARE FUCKING
SB: Hello sister-in-law. Long time no chat. So lovely for us to catch up this way
EB: Don’t sass me Bassett
PF: Err okay. Why… why am I on this Bridgerton family chat?
EB: Bitch please, you are family. Well, you will be soon
PF: ??
*CB removed PF from the group*
AB: Subtle
DB: Super smooth
*EB added PF to the group*
EB: IS NO ONE GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS LIFE-ALTERING NEWS?
KB: I mean… we all knew it was going to happen
CB: Surprised he held out this long tbh
DB: He’s been in love with her since we were kids
EB: I thought he just fancied her a bit?!?!
AB: And they call ME the unobservant one?!
*PF left the group*
CB: Look what you did
*EB added PF to the group*
KB: Why did I marry into this family?
SB: I’ll take you for a drink sometime. You too Pen.
PF: ??
EB: You’re all useless.
2 days later
GD: *sings Where Do You Go by No Mercy tunelessly in your general direction*  GD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-KMPvgKPo 
Y/N: Awful but also bangin cheese choon for a Sunday evening ngl
GD: SHE LIVES!! GD: El seemed to think you have been having nonstop sex since Thursday. GD: She’s also not handling that idea very well—lots of tequila.
Y/N: Not enough songs only have about 7 lyrics anymore. I miss the 90s.
GD: Avoiding that statement, huh?
Y/N: I will not dignify it with a response
GD: So that’s a yes
Y/N: 👀
8 days later
BB: I hate having a job 😘
Y/N: Me too… 😘 Y/N: I’ll be naked when you get home if that's any consolation
BB: I’m leaving now
Y/N: It’s only 11am lol Y/N: Stay there. I will see you later. It will be worth the wait. 😉
BB: You have been. BB: And I don't just mean today 😘
Y/N: 🥹 😘
56 days later
AB: Is this email for real?
BB: Yes. Yes, it is
AB: Wow. OK then AB: Congratulations
BB: Thank you. I'm very happy
AB: We can tell, brother, we can tell 
1 hour later
*KB added Y/N, SB & PF to a new group*
KB: Y/N, we meet every Wednesday for drinks. 
SB: Welcome to the fam, soon-to-be Mrs Bridgerton. It sucks; you are going to love it.
PF: Still not sure why I'm invited, but god, you guys are so much bloody fun I don't even care, lol.
10 seconds later
Y/N: Are you going to tell Pen, or should I?
KB: Naaahhh. It's more fun this way KB: Another very smart woman with a complete Bridgerton brother blindspot
Y/N: That sounds pointed
KB: You and me both, sister. You and me both.
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Benedict taglist pt1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @ferns-fics @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @hanji-emo-blog @sya-skies @urfavnoirette
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koji-haru · 3 days ago
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Time Travel AU Part: 21
The sun had sunk into the horizon twice before Michael could finally see the wooden surface of his desk, the ivory towers of paper that used to observe his work now gone and neatly filed away. Sera was none too pleased with him once he finally returned to Heaven under the veil of night, much too late than he had initially planned. It didn’t help that he didn’t particularly have any acceptable excuse, at least according to Heaven, nor was Michael inclined to lie about his recent exploits. The end result? A steady stream of work that made Michael fully aware of the possible horrors of eternity. Sera wasn’t necessarily upset about him skipping work for over a day, it did make her a little unhappy, but what truly ruffled her feathers was the fact that Michael suddenly went missing without any explanation for an extended period of time. And because Michael could see and admit his own faults, he simply accepted the punishment, given in the form of extra work, handed to him by Sera. 
Click clack click clack. A steady rhythm sounded on Michael’s wooden desk as he tapped his pen on it repeatedly, his mind busy with thoughts speeding past each other. He was contemplating going to Sera’s office and inform her of his finished work and he intended to do afterwards, but another part of him wasn’t particularly on board with that idea. What if she would decide to simply give him more work to do? Considering his schedule was now ‘free’. But then not informing her of anything was what got him in trouble in the first place. Michael pinched the bridge of nose as he let out an exhausted sigh. Damn him for being a little too dutiful; he decided to inform Sera anyway of his now free schedule, and just hoped that two full sunsets were enough of a time for her anger to have cooled down. 
“Come in,” answered Sera after hearing a soft knock on her office door. 
With a click, the door opened ever so slowly, revealing Michael’s sheepish figure one by one. He stood there a little awkwardly for a moment before breaking the uncomfortable silence. “So. I’ve finished all of my work.” A pause. He looked around the office and then back at Sera who had her gaze fixed on the paperwork on her desk. “Just thought I’d let you know.”
“I still can’t believe you have affections for the first man, and he requited,” Sera said as she put her quill and the paper down onto her desk, her gaze unreadable.
“Ah, yes, well– It’s–,” Michael stopped his mumbling, taking a deep breath so that he could formulate his words much better. “We’re testing the waters.” Or well, Adam was. For Michael was resolute about his feelings, having accepted them long ago. The first man, on the other hand, while he seemed to return the archangel’s affections, seemed to still be rather unsure about committing. But that was alright for Michael, he didn’t mind; he could understand why Adam was reluctant, considering his past commitments. That, and Michael was patient, he always would be for Adam.
“You really are siblings, huh?” Sera commented, her face still impassive and unreadable. 
“Sorry?”
“You’re almost as odd as your brother,” Sera clarified.
“Is that a good thing or..?,” Michael asked, unsure how to feel about Sera’s sudden comments. 
“It has its appeal,” answered Sera. “Though I do find it odd that you both fell for the first humans.”
A slight frown formed on Michael’s lips, his brows knitted together, a serious look in his eyes. “Is that what you’re truly angry about?,” he asked, his tone defensive. He wasn’t backing down on this one; he could admit any wrongdoings he might’ve done, but this wasn’t one of them, and he refused to be told otherwise.
Sera smiled lightly. “No, I was mad about you missing without notice, not that.” She sat straighter on her seat, hands clasped together, a soft yet worried look on her face. “I just find it ironic, you two brothers,” she clarified. “Anyway, I’m actually happy for the first man. Humans are made to be social after all, and a companion would do him some good. That, and I was hoping you could finally convince him to ascend to Heaven.”
Michael sighed, somehow feeling even more than before. “I told you already that he’s adamant about staying in the garden.”
“Just consider it. It would do you both good to be able to stay together for longer without having to skip duties,” Sera said, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes painted on her face. 
“Right.” It was clear to Michael that Sera was still unhappy with what he did, so he simply kept his words short, unwilling to tip the scales further. “Well, if there’s nothing else…”
“Oh, go on ahead.” Sera waved him away as she picked up her work again. “At least this time we know of your whereabouts.”
—-
Michael fluttered stutteringly in the sky, looking like he was about to crash, before landing clumsily just a few feet from Adam, who was currently sitting on the grass with Amora laying her head on his lap. He stumbled closer towards the first man with wobbly legs, almost tripping over his own feet as his exhaustion seemed to become heavier and heavier with every movement he made. 
“Oh hey, where have you been?,” Adam asked, a small grin playing on his lips as the archangel continued to lumber towards him, somehow looking even paler than he usually was. “You look like a zombie.”
Once he was near enough, Michael flopped down on his knees, pushing Amora off Adam’s lap before tiredly wrapping his arms around Adam’s waist and shoulder. “What’s a zombie?,” he asked after a moment, his eyes closed as he tried to relax within Adam’s presence.
“Uh.” Adam wasn’t sure how to react to…this. Michael hadn’t been overtly touchy with him before, it was…odd, but that he found himself not disliking it at all. “It’s just something I made up, don’t worry about it,” he waved off, his voice a little stiff from embarrassment. 
“Okay.” Michael wrapped his arms around Adam even tighter, snuggling his face even closer towards Adam’s abdomen, his eyes closed to fully immerse himself in the embrace. The garden’s warm air and serene atmosphere combined with the first man’s scent and presence so close to him worked like a magic greater than any belonging to the angels up in Heaven. Days of exhaustion and tedium sloughing off his skin, his muscles, his bones and down to his very core. A content sigh escaped from his lips as he felt the burden of heavenly work slip away from him. “I missed you,” he said, voice full of sincerity.
A bright red hue quickly spread all over Adam’s face over Michael’s bold and overt display of affection. An uncomfortable heat clung to his cheeks as his heart raced wildly in his chest; he tried his best to frown, to push the mushy feelings down to be kept hidden in a box covered in dirt six feet under, just so he could be annoyed at himself for behaving so greenly. In the end, the only thing he accomplished was to hug back the angel so closely attached to him, rubbing his hand up and down the angel’s back in a soothing manner. A silent reply to Michael’s admittance. 
“It has been quiet these last two days,” he mumbled, though as soon as he said it, he felt like taking it immediately back and then bash his head against the toughest tree he could find in the garden. 
Michael pulled away a little, just so he could gaze upon Adam’s beautifully sculpted face. He could hear and feel the first man’s rapidly beating heart against him, and his face told the entire story – so prettily pink with golden eyes simmering beneath the surface from the warmth Michael caused within him. A proud smile crept on the angel’s lips, happy that he was the one to cause such an honest reaction from the first man. Though it began slowly, one by one, Adam was allowing himself to be more honest with himself in Michael’s presence. For Adam to be willing to share his vulnerabilities, pieces of himself, was something that Michael would forever hold dearly for eternity. 
“W-what are you looking at me like that for?,” asked Adam, getting even redder as Michael held him so tenderly and preciously within the deep blue of his eyes. A gaze so loving he didn’t know what to do with it – it had been so long since someone looked at him this way. 
“Nothing, just appreciating the scene,” answered Michael, his smile growing even wider as he noticed the flush across Adam’s face growing brighter. Though, he supposed he should ease up a bit seeing as how Adam seemed to be ready to– 
As Michael had predicted, an unfinished woven mat was thrown over his face, obscuring his entire vision of the outside world, hearing only Adam’s embarrassed grumble above him. He suppressed the urge to chuckle, not wanting to push his human too much lest he be kicked out of the comfortable position Adam had allowed him to reside in.
“Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, attempting to placate his human’s embarrassed fury, as he pulled the mat off of his face. Gazing once more upon Adam’s still flushed face, he suppressed the urge to do something more. “It’s just that Sera hasn’t been particularly lenient with me lately,” he explained, his head still comfortably resting upon Adam’s lap.
Adam snorted, a little pout on his lips, “Well, maybe you deserved it.”
“I did deserve it a little,” Michael agreed. “The hot drink you taught me about did save me though. What was it called again? Tea?”
“Yup, and I gave you green tea to bring,” Adam confirmed. “You liked it that much?,” he asked, his prior embarrassment quickly fading away at the mention of a new topic.
“I like it a lot, though I found that if I use really hot water, it becomes bitter but also keeps me feeling energetic for longer,” answered Michael. “Which is great. I like the bitterness and it keeps me running for longer. I don’t think I would’ve survived Sera without it.”
Adam paled a little bit. Great, he just introduced caffeine to a workaholic. “How much of the tea leaves do you have left?”
“Oh! I was just about to ask.” Michael fished for the pouch Adam had given him before in his pockets, showing its empty content to the human. “Can I ask for more? The other angels also seem to like it.”
Suddenly, an idea, brighter than any halo, sparked in Adam’s head. “Sure, I made plenty. Bring as much as you like,” he smiled mischievously. If they liked it so much, then Adam was willing to share as much as they liked, and also very much willing to hear news from his insider (Michael) of the interesting consequences of his gift.
Michael beamed at Adam’s answer, believing that his human was just simply so sweet and generous. He would have to repay his generosity in kind one day. 
This was nice. Snuggling up to the centre of his affections, breathing in the relaxing air of the garden of Eden, soaking in the warming rays of the sun as he spent his time away in the close presence of the first man. He felt like he was home. No, it wasn’t the garden that was necessarily home to him, but simply living a life together with Adam. Any time he spent with the first man felt like a perfectly fitting puzzle piece as if he was exactly where he was meant to be.
He looked back up at Adam, who had decided to continue weaving leaves for his craft, unsure if he should ask again knowing what the answer would most likely be. “Maybe I shouldn’t overstay next time.”
“Sera scarred you that badly, huh?,” Adam chuckled, remembering how terrifying the seraphim could be if the right buttons were pushed. He would know, he pushed a lot of buttons.
“Maybe,” Michael replied, a small smile forming on his lips before fading away quickly as he readied his suggestion. “There would be days where I simply could not stay for long or not even visit,” he started. “Wouldn’t those days be lonely for you too?”
Adam stopped the work he was doing to focus his attention back on the angel laying on his lap. A sigh escaped from him, he understood what Michael was hinting at. “The garden can be a little uneventful on my own,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
A small frown formed on Michael’s previously hopeful face, not so much out of sadness, but out of genuine confusion and curiosity at Adam’s unwavering adherence to the garden. Yes, the garden was paradise precisely made for humans, but surely now that he was the only human in it, Heaven should look rather favourable to him, especially since it actually had other inhabitants in it that were at least at his level of communication and understanding. And as beautiful as the garden of Eden was, it only offered Adam animals as companions. It wasn’t as if Michael didn’t think animals were great companions, Amora was proof otherwise, but to live amongst creatures so far and different from oneself…It would be rather isolating. He didn’t understand Adam’s preference to remain at all.
“That’s alright. I won’t force you to ascend,” Michael said. “But, may I just ask why? I couldn’t help but be curious about your insistence to stay.”
There was a long silence between the two of them with Adam giving thoughts time to properly formulate answers he could give. The reason for his adamant insistence to remain in the garden was obvious to him of course; it was his long lost home, a place he had yearned for all of his first mortal life until the end of his first afterlife. More than a millennia of longing and missing the one place he only felt like he belonged in, the one place where he was the happiest. And even until his second chance at restarting, Eden remained that place for him, only strengthening his bond to it. It wasn’t something he was willing to ever let go of ever again. 
But he couldn’t say all that, so instead, Adam settled for a simple, but true enough answer.
“I just feel like this is where I truly belong.”
Part 20
Part 22
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merakiui · 2 days ago
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going back to read your contractual fwb azul cause it’s my favourite fic ever and i have to wonder; what would azul do if you never used his wishes to your own advantage? like it was always small stuff, so you ended up having to get a new job (sex is banned and let’s pretend like theres some random cafe on sage island or something like that you’re picking up shifts. just not the monstro lounge) and the hours you work there give him less time. would he beg you to use his money? to take advantage of him? it feels like the terms he picked also come from a domestic standpoint of wanting to provide for you. and your new job is really getting in the way of that. rely on him and no one else >:(
(also i’d like to imagine you falling asleep sitting in his lap in his office chair sometime before the confession so he carries you back to his room and you spend the night. the next morning you wake up to him pulling away and in your extremely sleep deprived mind you get upset that he’s leaving. cue him promising he’ll be back—maybe a quick round just so he can get you to wish it and no it’s definitely not because he wants sleepy morning sex—and eventually he comes to wake you back up with flowers, tea (you know the one), and telling you you have a day off somehow.) thank you for listening to my tiny brain rambles
hiiiiiii this is just a question i forgot to add to my last ask that i submitted like 2 seconds ago.
how does your relationship with azul go now that you’re actually in one and not just fwb? like does he still spoil you with whatever you ask for in exchange for sex or just give it to you and sex happens whenever? (more than the average couple cause, cmon) he gave you the fish shoes even though you lost so it stands that he’d spoil the hell out of you whenever he can
- - -
Hi hiiii!! :D omg contractual fwb tako..... I miss thinking about that fic. Peak Azul is him developing a relationship with darling via contractual means and slowly but surely the feelings shift (through dubious efforts hehehe). >:D that dynamic is just so *chef's kiss*!!!!!
Oooo if reader got a job!!! If not at the lounge, which is secretly what Azul hopes, then the place better pay good wages and the hours and work better be reasonable!! >:( he won't have his angelfish struggle. Maybe he'd even visit you during your shifts on occasion and make up some excuse like "I need to know what sort of competition the lounge has" blah blah blah etc etc even though it's quite clear he's checking up on you. T_T I like to think Azul wants you to take advantage of him because it's a deal in which you're both using the other for certain things, so wouldn't that make the most sense?? That's how the logic works in his give-and-take, equivalent-exchange brain.
Azul gets really particularly when it comes to giving gifts and he always seems to want a valid reason for the exchange (like in Glomas where he buys souvenirs for his dorm so that they can remember this good deed and know that they are technically indebted to him even though to Deuce and Epel it appears as though he's just being a kind Housewarden). But also,,, he's so iffy when it comes to accepting gifts himself and always seems to think there's some underlying reason behind it. ^^;; perhaps he'd just feel more comfortable if you were openly using him and this deal to your benefit just as he's doing the same with you. It's probably why he even makes the terms so domestic because, beneath all of the pompous showmanship and businessman flair, he genuinely wants to provide for you and make your life better and be your beloved. <3 but because he's Azul he can't just tell you that. >_<
AAAAA FALLING ASLEEP IN HIS OFFICE!!!!! OTL waking up in his bed all bleary-eyed and sleepy....... grabbing at his arm and begging him to stay,,, the sleepy morning sex... maybe it's the one moment he allows just some of his defenses to fall because most of yours are nonexistent in this moment. Having sex just to have sex without any thoughts about your contract..... of course he's still going to remind you later and insist you use one of your wishes/favors since you technically indulged him with sex, but then you wanted it, too. He's so fussy!!!! Please just ask him for something—anything! He isn't going to beg, but sometimes you really do make him contemplate it when you're so determined to not make use of him and his connections.
You're one of Azul's greatest weaknesses and if you know this then you can easily exploit this because this tako adores you. He is so utterly whipped. Whatever you want, you can have it. Spoiling you is one of his many love languages. He loves giving you gifts, especially when he knows they'll make you happy. Like those silly fish slippers. They are so dumb, but they make his angelfish smile and that's enough reason to purchase them for you. I think once you're in a real relationship the fwb contract is dissolved, but a lot of what you did during those two months still occurs into your relationship. Like the smoldering tension and the chemistry. The silly banter and smart quips. The attraction. And of course lots of love (real and potion-induced mwahaha) and sex. He railed you once in mer form and you better believe he'll do it again now that he's slowly finding the confidence to do so with you.
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theblessedcap · 1 day ago
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A Weekend to Remember 💕
Summary: Terry wants to give his girlfriend Siya (Sigh-ya) a peaceful weekend away at his place to help her loosen up after a rough week. 🩵
Warnings: Some smut 💋 and 420 friendly 🍃
This is my first fanfic y’all so take it easy on your girl. It’s been a while! lol. Enjoy!!!
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Terry POV
Friday Night 🌙
My girl Siya, who I’ve been seeing for about five months now, has been expressing her frustration with work all week. I’m not quite sure what her exact job title is but I know she works with badass kids and intense parents everyday in the school system. I’ve always admired her patience with people on a daily. I told her I do labor and engineering work for a reason cause I’d catch a case. Nonetheless, I know she needs an outlet and frankly, just a good time so she can let her hair down a bit. I can admit I’ve been slightly negligent to my lady’s feelings recently due to my own work being a shit storm with high volumes of orders and requests needing to be completed. A couple nights in a row I’ve been falling asleep on her mid conversation from pure exhaustion. I know that stings her a bit because we don’t live together and she really treasures our nightly FaceTime calls. She lives about 35 mins away from me on the other side of the county so anytime I get to see her face I try to make it last. I know she knows I still love her and I’m here for her like always but I’m the type of man to show it. Especially when I know I’ve been slacking a bit.
On the way home from work today, on a high from finally making it to Friday, I text Siya to let her know my plans.
T: Hey babe, hope your work day ended on a high note today. I want you to pack a bag to stay over my place for the weekend. I wanna show you how much I’ve missed you all week.. I’ll be there to get you around 6. I love you ❤️
S: Oooo you got plans plans huh? 😏 lol ok baby, I’ll be ready when you get here. Just let me know when you’re on the way 😘
I smile down at my phone at her response. She always finds a way to make me laugh. That’s why this weekend I want her to feel like she’s fully taken care of. My girl is the kind of woman who loves detail but loves simplicity even more. She loves good vibes and ambience.. she loves to be able to take in all the small joys around her and revel in them while spreading that same feeling to the people around her. It made me think about what I wanted to plan for us this weekend. I want to take Siya’s mind off of all her stress and worries and I have to be quick because I only have about 2 hours until I pick Siya up…
Siya POV
That text from Terry made my day. I haven’t stopped smiling since I got it just as I was about to sprint to my car after calling it a day at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love aspects of my job but the mental rigor of trying to put out fires everyday is A LOT. I was just starting to get annoyed with Terry actually, he’s been seeming a bit distant and uninterested but those thoughts faded away as soon as I read that text. If there’s one thing I know about my man its that he’s thoughtful when it counts and loves to prove it.
Getting home to my quiet condo, I drop all my stuff in my office room then head straight to my bathroom to shower off all the angst of the day. Blasting some Summer Walker and Kehlani while the hot water slowly soothes my body into relaxation. I make sure to shave and moisturize something serious not yet knowing exactly what Terry has planned. I just have a feeling it’s going to make me fall in love with him even more.
After my shower, I decided to fix something small to eat to hold me over and then pack my bag for a stay at my man’s.
*phone vibrates*
T: I’m heading to you now babygirl 🩵
S: Ok be safe ❤️ see you soon daddy 💋
I don’t know what it is but Terry still makes me giddy and nervous. I can’t stop checking my hair and light makeup in the mirror just to make sure nothing is out of place. If he knew I was taking what I looked like so serious, he would reprimand me saying you look beautiful regardless, don’t trip but hey, I’m just a girl with nerves!
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Dressed in a causal three piece cozy fit, perfect for this fall weather and brisk evenings, I wait for Tory to arrive while chilling on my living room couch. Just as I start to feel a little antsy my phone vibrates again.
T: Come open your door for me beautiful
Without texting back, I hop out of my seat and speed walk to the door with a smile. I open the door to find my tall, muscular, ocean eyed teddy bear of a boyfriend dressed in a hoodie and joggers to match.
“There she is” he says before softly pulling me into his arms and lifting me into a tight hug. He smells so good..
“Hey baby, I missed you so much” I say before planting a kiss on his soft, plump lips.
“I’ve missed you too baby girl. More than you know. Come on, let me get your bag for you” He says slightly brushing past me into the living room to grab my pink duffle bag. “You ready, mama?”
Terry POV
It feels so good having Siya next to me again. It’s only been about a week and a half since I’ve last seen her in person but right now let me know that’s too long without her. Her soft, luscious, radiant skin. Her fragrance that always smells like something sweet that makes me hungry for her. Head full of curls and that amazing smile that still makes my heart skip a beat. I’m sprung, no doubt. I can’t keep my hands off her as I hit the highway heading back to my place. My free hand found its way in between the heat of her thighs and rested there for comfort as I gripped the steering wheel. Snoh Alegra playing from my truck speakers and our heads bobbing to the smooth tunes. I look over at Siya softly singing the words and I crack a smile involuntarily. Call me corny but I made a playlist just for this ride back so I knew she’d be feeling it.
“You know this is my song” She says with a playful smirk while dancing in her seat.
“Yeah I know love”
Siya went back to her karaoke as i focused on not missing a turn right up ahead of us. As soon as I made the turn off our usual route, Siya stops her concert and looks at me with curious eyes.
“Where we going?” She asks
“Just a little detour babe, don’t worry” I reassure her grabbing onto her hand to hold.
I could tell my words put her at ease. I watch her lean back in her seat to take in the beautiful sunset outside our car windows. The sky barely lit but just above the horizon it’s painted a firey bright orange with clouds leaving small traces of purple and blue. Approaching our destination, I see Siya sit up, peeking out of the windows to take in the view before us. A walking park adorned with vast land scattered with trees and a beautiful lake front that provided a perfect view to watch the remainder of the sunset. The area is empty and barely any cars drive past at this time of day. Perfect for a chill ass smoke session to get my girl right for this relaxing weekend I got planned for her.
Siya POV
Terry is always up to something I tell ya. I’ve always appreciated the effort and thought he puts into the things he does for me. No matter how little or large. Terry knows I’m a sentimental nostalgic who loves taking in sunsets and sunrises. I mean, I couldn’t even count the amount of moon photos I have in my camera roll too. He also knows I don’t take the time to enjoy these things as much as I’d like to. To just be present.. with a beautiful view.
“Let’s sit at these benches over here” Terry said taking my hand and leading me to our seats near the lake.
“This is beautiful Terry. How do you know about this place?”
“Me and a homeboy of mine use to come here and go fishing sometimes. We even came out here just to chill. Get our minds right” Terry reaches into this hoodie pocket, “So, with my beautiful lady having the hard week she did.. I figured we’d start this weekend with some reallll relaxation” he declares pulling out a thick cigar blunt with a playful, big cheesy smile.
Terry and I have smoked together before but it’s been quite a while. Shortly after we started dating we both decided to take a tolerance break and focus on work and being a bit healthier. Not to say we didn’t break our pact from time to time but it has definitely been a couple months since I faced a fat blunt.
“When did you start smoking again?” I ask genuinely curious.
“Right now. I figured since work has been kicking both of our asses, we deserve this. You deserve this,” He says lighting the blunt and passing it to me. Instantly the thick weed smoke and scent hit my nose and brought back all those fond memories of getting high and letting my worries roll off of me like water.
I take a deep breath and allow the smoke to hit my chest. I hold it for a few seconds before a deep harsh cough escapes my throat.
“Take it easy, babe” Terry said laughing while patting my back.
“Oh whatever! It’s been a while” I snap back at him out of a little embarrassment of my fragile lungs. I take another puff and force myself to keep in the smoke long enough to feel the after effects.
“You good mama?” Terry asks me as I pass him back the blunt.
“Yeah I’m good. This shit is hitting me nice..” I say leaning back into the bench, letting my body and mind unwind. I start to listen to the gentle wind of the night breezing past my ears, the lake in front of me rippling from the wind. It’s so peaceful. I feel Terry’s arm cradle my shoulders from be side, providing extra warm from the cool breeze. We continued to pass back and forth until our blunt became a roach. The lowering sun completely gone but now the fluorescent moonlight took its place. It gave us ample light reflecting from the shimmering lake. I could feel every bit of my body soften and loosen up. My head lay back to rest on Terry’s buff arm still wrapped around me. We were both pretty quiet enjoying our high and the tranquility around us. I look over to Terry to make sure he’s okay only to meet his incredible grey eyes, low and hazy from the marijuana, already locked on me.
“How you feeling?” He asks deep in tone, his gaze still stuck on me.
“Good. I feel great actually”
“Good. I’m glad to hear, babe. Come here…” Terry whispers before grabbing me around my waist and pulling me into his lap. Never taking his eyes off me. I was starting to really get lost in them. All I could picture was the last time we fucked, soaking my satin panties as I clinch my thighs on Terry’s lap. My eyes gaze down to his juicy pink lips that just seem to be calling my name. Without hesitation, i pull Terry in for a passionate kiss. Lips smacking and soft biting making us both groan into each other’s mouths. I could feel Terry’s thick bulge grow stiffer below me as he shifts my booty on his lap to help adjust himself. He let out a soft moan before placing lewd, wet kisses all over my neck.
“Terry you know that makes me weak” I moan out as he hits all my spots causing me to quiver.
Ignoring my plea, gripping onto my thighs, he continues to place warm kisses on my neck and slowly down my chest. Suddenly he stops and looks up at me. The moonlight beaming out of his now dark clouded eyes. He sits up, gently moving me off his lap and back on the bench before standing up and starting to take off his hoodie. I bite my lip watching him undress, revealing a white tee hugging his defined abs and massive arms. I quietly stare up at him from my seat, heat rising within me from anticipation, wondering what’s next to come. Also forgetting that we’re technically in public.
I’m high as shit.
“Lay back on my hoodie babygirl” Terry says softly while stretching his hoodie out on the bench space beside me. I do as he ask and lay my heated back to the wood bench to rest. Terry, now sitting by my feet and smirking down at me, slowly turns to me with his eyes still intensely on me, lifts my legs and places them firmly over his shoulders. Now I get the hint..
“Take these off” he whispers before licking his lips and pulling at my pants with authority.
I lift my lower body to assist him in slipping my pants and panties off in one quick swipe. The cool air hit my bare legs and made me clinch my legs shut.
“Open up for me, babe” Terry commands sliding his large body back on the bench and lowering his head right above my wet, aching pussy. “I got the munchies.. but all I wanna snack on is you”
With a sloppy, wet kiss to my throbbing clit, Terry began to devour my pussy like his last meal. I couldn’t help but to moan loudly as he slurps and licks me with purpose. One thick swipe of his tongue after another. As he playful darts his tongue in and out of my pussy and tenderly rubs my pulsing clit, I stare up at the stars above. Thanking God and the universe that I’ve found this man.
“Ahhhh Terry.. this feels so fucking good babyyy” I cry out reaching for the bench arm rest behind my head for leverage.
“Mmm.. you taste so damn good mama.. I could eat you all night..” he spoke with all his concentration still on my leaking pussy. Suddenly feeling two thick fingers slowly sliding into me, I arch my back out of pure ecstasy.
“Fuuuuck” I cry out letting Terry quicken his pace. Beginning to feel an amazing but unfamiliar pressure build within me.
“Pussy clenching up baby, you about to cum?”
“Oh my god… Terry!” I shout unable to explain what I was feeling. Silence falls as nothing but the sound of Terry’s fingers slipping in and out of me and his slurping and smacking fill the air. My eyes close shut and I swear even with them closed, I can still see stars. Suddenly, a loud gush erupts from my slippery center.
“God damn..” Terry groans staring at my pussy forming a puddle below him with a look of pride and accomplishment.
“Did you just make me squirt?!” I asks out of pure shock. Did I really just squirt on my boyfriend on a public bench?
“Hell yeah I did. You got me and my hoodie soaked baby girl” he says with a chuckle and a menacing smirk.
“Oh my god” I say laughing to myself, covering my face as Terry lifts me up to hold me in his arms, face to face.
“Aww none of that now. Shit, that was fucking amazing. I didn’t know you could squirt like that, mama. I find it sexy.. lets me know I’m doing all the right things.. maybe I should get you high and eat you out more often” he suggest with that enticing smile of his.
“Yeah maybe” I respond with a smile and gaining a little sense of confidence back. The sound of loud car exhaust approaching made us both grab for our clothes and get dressed. Terry wasn’t lying when he said I soaked his hoodie. Even with it being black I could tell I left the majority of it damp and knew he’d be cold in this frigid wind as we walk back to his truck.
“I’m sorry again about that Babe” I say with my arms crossed in front of me to shield my exposed skin from the breeze.
“You don’t hear me complaining do you? Stop worrying, love. So what I’m drenched? I love that shit. All that matters to me right now is that you feel good.. you gushing all on me like that just shows me you was feeling more than good though.. right baby?” He asks slowly stepping closer to me, forcing my back against the truck door, invading my space in a way that makes my knees almost buckle. Him and these goddamn eyes!!
“Oh I’m more than good..” I almost whisper looking deep into his glistening orbs, feeling like I’m under a trance.
“That’s what I like to hear. Gimme kiss..” Terry says before pulling me into him by the waist and giving me two sweet, wet kisses, “come on, beautiful. Let’s get back on the road. We still got the night ahead of us.”
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK and sorry for any typos 🙈🩷 Depending on feedback I’ll write the rest of the weekend with Tory and Siya 🥰 I have a feeling this is gonna get cute and nasty lmao appreciate y’all! -Kye ✌🏽
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