#and I have to pretend like I don't because otherwise she'll be mad at me

[commandercoriandersalamander]

anyways this is horrible. and I want to go home.

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

for the songs

New Person, Same Old Mistakes by Tame Impala

Killer Queen by Mad Tsai

Villain by Stella Jang

(ack sorry if these aren’t the best— they were the first songs from the top of my head 😔)

Ooooh okay

Maybe biana about her crushes? Like first she liked Keefe and then maybe her liking Tam or smth but feeling like it's unrequited

"Feeling it overtake/ All that I used to hate" she hated not having someone care for her like that other than surface level

"Wonder what if we trade" like she doesn't want to like someone who doesn't like her back

"All the signs I don't read" they're not interested right (although Tam kinda is in canon but maybe it's dex who is also kinda interested in canon??? Yk what. It's Keefe biana and insert person biana could have a Keefe situation with)

"Going with what I always longed for" she wants love

"Feel like a brand new person/ (But you make the same old mistakes)" she's changed sm but like same situation

"I don’t care I’m in love/ (Stop before it’s too late)" poor bbg

"I'm thinking it's worth the fight" she's trying tho

"Man, I know that it's hard to digest/ But baby this story ain’t so different from the rest/ And I know it seems wrong to accept" this sums up like biana having to go through that again

Gisela omg

"There was this girl/ The most beautiful in the world" leaving this here

"She would walk the halls/ And everyone would whisper and talk/ 'Cause all the girls in town wanted to be her" maybe kid Gisela??

"She's a devil in disguise/ The prom queen has blood on her hands" Gisela is so sweet idk what yall are talking about (lying)

"Every boy and girl she dates" very few believe in straight Gisela

"Disappears without a trace" she's just silly like that

"So be careful when she asks you to dance" if Gisela asked me to dance I would wake up to vesperas ghost torturing me

"She's a motherfucking killer queen/ A psychopath at seventeen/ A beauty in a blood-stained dress" she's so lovely wdym

"She'll fill your heart with kerosene/ And light you up 'til you can't breathe" soooo this is what she does to keefe

"If you cross her path you just might end up dead" *cough* vespera *cough*

"There was this girl/ Who was broken by the world/ 'Cause everyday at school they'd push and shove her/ But she had a plan/ One day she would get her revenge/ And those cheerleaders and jocks would be six feet under" this kinda sums up my theory for how she went batshi

"But behind those angel eyes/ Lies a devilish surprise/ The prom queen has killed for her crown" VESPERA

"Every boy and girl she seeks/ Never comes back in one piece" Cassius is fucked in the head and vespera is fucked in the existence

"She's dancing by herself" bro just left the neverseen

Omg this is Alvar to biana hear me out

"We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side/ Some things are black/ Some things are white/ You shouldn't look through colored lenses/ You're the good guy/ He's the bad guy/ Your boring world is in black and white" just the whole vacker legacy thing and how he's against the black swan

"So many shades of gray" He's trying to manipulate her

"Think twice before you like me" the reveal

"Because/ I'm a villain/ What makes you think otherwise?/ You don't know what a wicked little devil I am" basically the reveal

"You're a villain/ What makes you think otherwise?/ The villain you failed to notice breathes within you" this is so smth he would say to her

"I'm killing someone maybe/ You're killing someone maybe/ I'm killing you maybe/ You're killing me maybe" its so him!!

"We all pretend to be the heroes/ On the good side/ But what if we're the villains/ On the other" vacker legacyyyy

"The person you hate the most/ Is somebody's beloved child" he would!!!

"You don't know what wicked little devils we are/ We're all villains/ What makes you think otherwise?/ Look at us, the devils we failed to notice" eeekkk

[bbygirl-aemond]

You may already be aware, but I actually found ppl going back and forth on Reddit about a post you'd made on here (re Viserys being a shite parent). It's under r/HouseOfTheDragon in case you ever wanted to check it out. I just recognized your name, as I follow you and it was shared as a screenshot from here.

lmao i will never get over how wild reposting on the internet actually is. that fucker has over a thousand comments and i had no idea until you told me just now! literally made a reddit account to try to add my voice to the din just to encourage people to discuss on the original platform so i can see but tbh people on reddit are a lot meaner than tumblr so i won't be mad if it doesn't get too many upvotes.

reddit's responses to this post is such an interesting case study in the polarization that's happening everywhere online. i get SO MANY accusations of being wildly biased from supporters of both "teams" all the time and it's funny because like am i too team green or too team black bc i can't be both right? mostly i think it's because people get really defensive when you criticize a character and assume it means you hate them. like bruh we are adults with big girl emotions can't it be a little more complex than that?

when i say i think viserys is a bad parent, i'm not saying it as team green propaganda. i've said before that rhaenyra is the rightful ruler and that i absolutely adore her as a character (let's just say aemond isn't my only babygirl). there's a reason i've written 100k+ words of fanfic designing a political scenario where she'll be able to happily rule without any of her children dying. spoiler alert: it's not because i hate her and think she's a bad ruler. and she's far from the only character on team black i love: daemon, jacaerys, lucerys, and baela all come to mind.

it's also really interesting to me that people see my opinion about viserys and, even though i literally did not mention rhaenyra, assume that i'm somehow shitting on her. it just goes to show how much they stand blindly by one team or another. that to criticize one member of their "team" feels to them like you're criticizing every member. like baby, i'm not the one making it about teams: you are! honestly, i understand why the team mentality was a good marketing move, but it really has been the death of critical thinking in this fandom. there are aspects of both that we're meant to root for, just as there are aspects of both we're meant to hate. none of these people are objectively morally good, and that's what makes it interesting, so why are we trying to pretend otherwise?

so while yes, i don't like viserys, why would i extend that dislike to rhaenyra? it's not like she forced him at gunpoint to do the things i'm criticizing him for lol. in fact, i think viserys did her just as dirty most of the time. i have another post in the works about this, but he neglected her for her entire childhood, groomed her best friend and dealt with telling her in the worst possible way, and made her heir in a bid for her affection yet did none of the actual work to honor her as a ruler. he could have made her his hand but instead he made her pour his wine?

now, again, just because we dislike part of something does not mean it's all bad. do i think viserys is generally quite a bad parent and person? absolutely. did i also cry ugly tears in the scene where he forces himself up from his literal deathbed to defend his daughter? yes. these two things can coexist.

also, because reddit is reddit, there are a bunch of comments that just miss my point about alicent and aemma entirely. i've already responded to those in a post here so i won't beat a dead horse too much. but to paraphrase: viserys married alicent because he liked her specifically not for duty or he would've married someone who wouldn't horrify the entire small council; and aemma didn't need to be alive and conscious for the pain she was put through at the end of her life. the things he did to his wives weren't necessary and i don't think we should be pretending they were.

lastly, it's really funny to me how many people incorrectly assumed i was a man in the comments. i'm genuinely the girliest girl to ever girl in real life (makeup jewelry and tits to the gods, sorority girly, the whole nine yards, i love it) and it gave me such whiplash. there's a joke to be made here about trying to weaponize male privilege somewhere.

[nothing0fnothing]

Oh here's a wild one.

When I was little, like no older than nine, I went to a Catholic school.

They were really strict about uniform and if your shirt wasn't tucked into your trousers or skirt you'd get into trouble. Not major trouble, just a teacher would minorly tell you off and tell you the rule was to make you "look smart."

I was autistic and took it literally. I thought that all tops were supposed to be tucked into all bottoms, otherwise I'd "look dumb."

I don't really do it at home because I'm usually dressed casual at home and I understand you don't have to look smart all the time, but the one day my step dad was being a little bit ... spicy.

Yanno when they're mad but they're not screaming or breaking things, they're just closing doors and putting down coffee mugs with a bit of extra sauce? Talking shortly to you? Waiting for someone to slip up so they have a reason to fly off the handle? Whatever. He's doing that.

Me being the golden child I'm tiptoeing around and doing everything right so it's not my turn the jenga tower falls down on, metaphorically speaking. So when I'm told to get changed out of my school clothes and into some day clothes I tuck my t shirt into my jeans. The thought process being it'll be the detail that makes me look a bit more put together and makes me less noticable.

It does the opposite.

I can't remember the exact interaction and how it went down but as soon as I realise he's honed in on my Dora the Explorer t tucked into my flower embroidery boot cut jeans in a negative way, I'm crying, while trying to explain I did it so I'd look smart.

"Smart?" he asks "you think this makes you look smart?"

"Yes." I say still crying.

"Who told you that?"

"School." I'm whinging. I know I'm doing it when I hear my voice. If I don't stop my mom won't help me either.

He really aggressively pulls my clothes, I can hear seams snapping, and slaps me on the torso, so now I'm fully wailing.

"You still think you look smart?" He asks

I say yes, knowing that no is just as bad.

He sends me upstairs "out of his sight" as he puts it. And I cry in the bathroom alone, expecting to get called down at any moment to pretend it didn't happen.

Instead my mom, who saw the whole interaction from the other room follows me.

"Why are you crying?" She asks me

"Because he hit me" I say. It's not true, I was crying before he hit me. But if I say I'm crying because he scared me she'll hit me again for crying for nothing.

"Where did he hit you?" She asks me.

I'm stunned because she watched him. She knows where he hit me.

"On the belly" I say "when he finished untucking my shirt."

"You're a fucking liar." She says, and storms out of the bathroom, leaving me to cry alone.

[priffi]

Renegades Quarantine Headcanons

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I'm back, this time with headcanons! I present to you, Sketch's team (+Narcissa, Max, Hugh, and Simon) and what they'd do during quarantine. Pretend the team and Narcissa all stayed at one of their apartments together because that would be cute. Yes this is after the supernova.

Nova:

learn a new mythology, language or culture. Mythology: Classic (Greek and Roman) or Norse. Language: Italian or Filipino (because of her parents) and it would be cute if she even taught Adrian some basic words in Filipino. Culture: Filipino or Italian (like before.)

More hobbies! She's done birdwatching, knitting, and juggling, plus astronomy. She would continue astronomy and start astrology with Ruby (more on her later.) I can see her doing crochet because it's similar to knitting.

Instruments and music! She's good at hand eye coordination so I think she'd be good at piano (I play the instrument, it's not as hard as you think), harp (similar to piano), cello (I play that in school) or flute. Her with the piano, she'd sit there for hours playing. Harp takes awhile to get good at, but the result is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Cello has a deeper sound and suits her well, but I might be a little biased

Calligraphy, keeping a journal. Nova has a steady hand and would be good at calligraphy and the like. She would write in her journal all her thoughts that she wasn't ready to tell anybody about yet, not even her therapist.

Strategy outside games: cornhole or the horseshoe toss game because she has a good aim.

Inventing. Making Oscar that cane gun he always wanted.

Adrian:

Painting, drawing, sketching. Cuz duh. He's Sketch.

If he were to play an instrument, it would be the clarinet. I don't know why, I just have so many artistic friends that also play the clarinet and I can picture him playing it.

If he were to play a sport, it would be basketball cuz he's tall. But for fun, I think he'd like some sort of old fashioned game like croquet or pickleball. Idk why.

Ruby:

Social media: Instagram and Snapchat. (Unpopular opinion: she likes Tik Tok. She's that laid back girl who browses and creates on Tik Tok. If you disagree, fight me.) Maybe Twitter. Also has a blog.

Her blog: fashion, anime, and astrology. She is definitely a Sailor Moon fan. But fashion, her rubies. She loves fashion. Not in a designer sort of way, but love-wearing-any-outfit way.

TV: a whole lot of it. I think she would like Miraculous Ladybug or Friends.

Danna:

The Office. She'll binge that show for eternity. And maybe Brooklyn 99.

Browsing the internet. Trying those internet challenges like 1/9801 as a decimal or Cheryl's birthday. Lots of problem solving. Or anything that's productive.

Internet paradoxes and riddles.

Rubix cube: she is going to learn how to solve it. Whatever it takes.

Oscar:

Cooking. He's a foodie. What do you expect? I see him trying to make cheese and Danna trying to persuade him not to. He is going to make bread. And smoothies. And pizza. And he's going to buy an air fryer or deep fryer to make fries and other fried stuff. He will try to make mac'n'cheese on his own (which ends up a disaster. You don't want to know about it.) He's gonna get a blender and make fruit smoothies for the squad. A few days before there's a stay-at-home order for Gatlon, he buys an air/deep fryer, a blender, and other unessential items for food. The others get all mad at him.

Helping Nova catch up: whether it's food or just simple pleasures she couldn't have in the subway tunnels, he helps her. But he also introduces her to foods she wasn't able to eat. He was the fastest to forgive her. (It was either him or Ruby, but because Ruby wasn't at the cathedral battle, and Oscar was at least in the cathedral.)

Hear me out. HEAR ME OUT. Now that I have your attention, listen carefully. Meme review. He does it with Nova, and they love seeing the memes. You can't convince me otherwise.

Narcissa:

You already know the answer: books and reading. She's the granddaughter of a librarian. The Librarian, even. Literally. She grew up surrounded by books. She loves them. Idk what books she likes and who her fave authors would be, but I would assume all genres.

She has a book blog where she reviews and talks about books. She communicates with her fellow book nerds through it. She joins a book club and basically spends most of her free time reading. She gives a heck a lot of book recommendations. (Not surprisingly, the team likes the books she recommends to them because she bases her choices on that person's personality.)

Max:

Getting used to life outside of the quarantine at HQ, only to find out he has to stay home because of the pandemic. :(

Card games and board games. Imagine if they all stayed at Hugh and Simon's mansion and had a weekly game night. That would be amazing.

Rebuilding his glass Gatlon City.

Taking walks outside.

Feel free to add on!

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Sorry about that Rio: her mans hasn't text her Buster: And that's closer to Drew's fault than it is mine Buster: But whatever Rio: I know Rio: she's really hurting this AM Buster: Yeah and he's got drugs Buster: What have I got? Buster: It's fine Rio: You know, father of the year coming through to save the day again Rio: Well, I appreciate all your help last night, even if she don't remember Buster: Good thing I didn't do it for her then Buster: I still reckon you should have left them to it and come with me Rio: Best I'm around in case it kicks off again Rio: Drew'll tire of it long before it's close to being sorted so Buster: I know Buster: I'm just bringing my selfishness into the new year Rio: I don't blame you Rio: Any other morning, like Buster: Let me know when he's gone and I'll circle back Buster: So long as Indie don't try and fight me about it, like Rio: 'Course Rio: Nah, sure her lad'll hit her up and she'll be outta here like a shot Buster: No offense to the kid but I hope so Buster: You got up so early 😒 Rio: Awh baby Rio: Knew she'd be laying there stewing otherwise Buster: Mothering duty calls I get it Rio: You know I'd rather be with you Rio: lowkey using the barricading skills you showed me rn so they leave me alone, like Rio: it ain't a party Buster: I'm getting breakfast and checking Edie's socials so lowkey feel like a dad Buster: Not a party either Rio: Hot 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You have no business looking that good in the AM without teasing me as well Rio: Now who's teasing Rio: I dread to think Buster: I mean it Buster: You're beautiful Rio: You're nice Rio: I feel like shit Buster: What can I do? Rio: Nah, nothing Rio: 'less you got an IV drip and a way to knock some sense into Indie and Edie without getting out the gloves, like Buster: I know places where that shit is trendy Buster: Among other things Rio: I don't doubt it, babe Buster: I can send someone round if you like Buster: It works Rio: With those two dossing in the front room? That wouldn't be shaming 🙄 Rio: I'll drink my water, don't worry Buster: Good girl Rio: Really Rio: I already miss you, don't be hitting me with that Buster: I can't help it Buster: I miss you too Buster: And Nance ain't bringing her A game to this outing Rio: Tell her she's gotta revel in the fact she weren't the holy show last night Buster: Already did Buster: Probably why she's pouting into her scrambled egg Buster: 😂 Rio: Aww Rio: There's still time, babe, make it your resolution and you've got all year Buster: I'm already trying to make her see that the barista is flirting with her not me Buster: My work is cut out Buster: She's gotta put hers in by firing back Rio: Fr, need a success story this morning Buster: She's as red as her hair, this ain't gonna happen Buster: I really did get all the game, like Rio: Leave her alone 😂 Rio: Poor girl Buster: Excuse me, you wanted me to play nice with the fam Buster: This barista is hot and Nance is welcome Rio: 😏 Appreciate the effort Rio: She clearly got your dose of shame too Buster: Unlucky Rio: Either that or she don't share your type Buster: That's a given Buster: I'm not trying to fuck no MILFS tempting as it'd be to piss James off by doing his mum Rio: Eww Rio: Too early for that, thank you Buster: She's not that bad Buster: a solid 7 Rio: Take your word for it Rio: Fortunately didn't meet her Buster: So that's a no to the threesome then? Buster: Shame Rio: 😂 Rio: Never say never, babe Buster: Picture the happy couple walking in on that, the only incentive you need Buster: Chlo thinks she knows freaky, nah babe Rio: She 'bouta find out Rio: he's weird as hell Buster: And she's vanilla as hell Buster: What a match Rio: Well out of it Rio: You reckon they even together still Rio: if they were Buster: I know they are Buster: Even both blocked I'm still seeing them somehow Rio: Lovely Buster: Do you want me to bring you some coffee or anything? Rio: That's okay baby Rio: Come back though, even if you have to bring work to do Buster: 'Course Buster: Soon as the coast is clear Rio: I don't care Rio: I live here too Buster: I just don't wanna make things worse for you, babe Buster: You know he winds me up Rio: We can ignore him Rio: I'm not sitting with them Buster: Alright Rio: You don't have to Rio: but I want you here Buster: I want to be there Buster: With you Rio: Good Rio: I fucking hate him, he's barely acknowledge what happened last night Buster: Yeah, I bet Buster: Such a cunt Rio: But I'm the one that's killing the vibe 'cos I don't wanna get high rn Rio: Okay Buster: It's literally morning Buster: I'm no pussy but come on Rio: Seriously, we ain't getting last night back, lads Rio: give it up now Buster: Should I bring food for Indie? Buster: She's gonna be fucked Rio: Yeah, get her back on side for sure Buster: She basically eats anything, yeah? Rio: Literally Rio: It's a madness where she puts it Buster: I'll grab some stuff for you too, if you don't want it I'm sure Indie'll eat it for you Rio: You're cute Buster: Getting my heroics in early, that's all Rio: Can't help yourself, right Buster: 'Course not Rio: Why I can't help but like you Buster: As long as it's not the only reason Rio: I know you want the list Buster: Yeah Rio: I'll work on it whilst you do your essays Buster: We'll see who finishes first Buster: Word count is key Rio: Damn, I was gonna hit it with the bullet points Rio: no slacking, I guess Buster: You're getting graded, babe Buster: Think on Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not got any 🍎s so I'll give it my all Buster: I'll take 🍑s you know Rio: 😂 we're alright then Rio: got that in abundance Buster: 😂 Buster: When did Nance get so chatty? Let me go Rio: You love it Rio: and I get a headstart, win win Buster: I love you Buster: And I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: Prove it Rio: How do you want me to do that today baby? Buster: Surprise me Buster: No offense to my sister but I'm bored Rio: I'll make it extra good then Rio: Hmm, gimme 5 Buster: Take 10 Rio: Generous as always Buster: You'll see how generous I can be when I get back Rio: You'll be feeling it Rio: Looking for that A, you know Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: [Snap] Buster: Well now you've got me thinking all kinds of things Rio: Yeah? Rio: Positively inspiring Buster: Babe Buster: Tell me I can't walk out and leave my sister sitting here 'cause that's all I want Rio: Be good now and I'll be as bad as you want Buster: That's why I love you Buster: Not that I'm writing you a list on a napkin right now, like Rio: Pretend it's for the waitress if you get caught, babe Buster: Obviously Buster: Doing my best as is to teach Nance how to flirt Buster: She's useless and it's weird Buster: People are gonna think we're a couple if she don't catch on to any of it soon Rio: 😬 She'd shut that down faster than you at least Rio: I hope you aren't matching today Buster: You know she'd make me change if we had been Rio: 😂 Rio: Bless Buster: Shame Chlo's blocked I could've sent her some twin time Buster: Really convince her of my incest kink Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't make that face Rio: [Sends actual grumpy face] Buster: You're so cute Rio: Then be nice Rio: I'm trying to think about you here, not that bitch Buster: I'm sorry baby Buster: I'll kiss you until I feel you smile again, okay Rio: It's a start 😋 Buster: And then I'll let you decide where you want me to go next Buster: Wherever cheers you up the most Rio: Want me to show you where I need it most? Buster: You know I do Rio: Tilt your phone, this ain't for anyone else, especially not your sister Rio: Sorry to disappoint, Chloe Rio: [Snap] Buster: I went into the bathroom, reckoning that would be the best idea Buster: I'm having so many flashbacks to last night Buster: Jesus Rio: You weren't wrong Rio: I keep touching, I can feel each individual hit, it's turning me on so much Buster: Fuck Buster: I need to touch you or myself right now Rio: Do it Rio: I can make you cum so fast if I want, we both know it Buster: Especially when you talk like that Rio: I want you to be as needy as me Buster: I'm there, trust me Rio: You're not Rio: Not until you've silently cum in that bathroom stall thinking about me riding you Rio: They're still here so I had to bite down on my pillow Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I can't be silent Buster: I can't Rio: I know Rio: It's one of the things that makes you so fucking hot Rio: I don't care, I want people to hear, know how I've got you Buster: If I bite my lip any harder it's gonna bleed, that's how you've got me Rio: You can handle it, baby Rio: Give me something to kiss better Buster: You can have anything Buster: Everything Rio: I want it all, all of you Rio: because you own me Buster: I'm all yours, babe Buster: This is for you too 'cause I want you so bad Rio: Fuck yourself like you'd fuck me if I was there with you Rio: I want you to cum so hard Buster: Baby I'm so close already Rio: Yeah you are Rio: I bet your dick is covered in precum now, I wish I was there to taste it Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: I fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: You're everything, babe Buster: Tell me again Buster: Make me cum Rio: You're my everything, Buster and I fucking love you Rio: All I wanna do is make you happy and make you cum Buster: Oh my god, baby Buster: You're perfect Buster: I can't Rio: You can though Rio: it's why we work so well, you're just as bad as me Buster: Fuck Rio: You're cumming for me right now, aren't you, baby? Rio: Fuck Buster: I just came so hard saying your name Buster: Nobody better have heard that Rio: Jesus, you're so good Rio: too fucking good Rio: I wanted to hear it but I'll make you say it even louder when you get here Buster: Somehow I have to get my shit together so I can go and pay the bill Buster: It's fucking ridiculous what you can do to me without even being here Rio: Sorry, Daddy Rio: I bet you look so fucking good now, they gonna be too flustered to care Rio: It's the same for me, I never think about anyone else now, you're all my fantasies Buster: [sends pics because you know he would, shameless bastard] Buster: Keep thinking about me Buster: I'll be there soon Rio: 😻 Rio: Okay how are you real Buster: Says you Buster: On another level of beautiful, like Rio: You make me feel so good Buster: Good 'cause that's all I wanna do Rio: but I have one question Buster: Go on Rio: Can I touch myself or do I need to wait for Daddy? Rio: I wanna be good for you but it aches Buster: I want you to do it Buster: You need to feel as good as I do Rio: Your hands are so big and rough it feels so good on the most sensitive parts of me Buster: I know, babe Buster: It's why I never wanna stop touching you Rio: I wish we could just fuck forever sometimes Rio: Any time I'm not with you feels wasted Buster: Me too Buster: But you look so good wanting me too so it's not ever wasted Rio: You can watch me want you 'til you're hard again Rio: I'll do all the work, you've earnt it Buster: You've the hottest girl I've ever seen never mind met Rio: And I'm all for you Rio: Don't get mad 'cos this is a little fucked up to say but I hope he hears you fucking me, 'cos he could never and will never Rio: Me moaning your name over and over like a prayer Buster: I'm not mad Buster: You're mine and I want him to know it Rio: Good Rio: Me too Buster: I hope he gets mad Rio: Yeah? Buster: He needs to realise that you're never gonna want anyone as much as you want me Buster: And he's never gonna need you as badly as I do Rio: He really does Rio: and now I really want you to show him Buster: I will Buster: All day if that's what it takes Buster: I'll fuck you so hard and loud your whole street will know it Rio: Even if he gets the message before then like Rio: Please Buster: I know what you need, babe Buster: It's not about him, that's just a bonus Rio: Just when I think I can't love you any more Buster: You're gonna have to marry me, sorry about it Rio: Well, you have ruined me for anyone else Rio: No other boys are like you Buster: Don't forget it Rio: Promise Buster: I promise I won't let you either Buster: I'm always gonna make you feel this good Rio: You really mean that, don't you? Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't know how to do anything else, not with you Buster: It's how you make me feel Rio: Good, it really is all I want Rio: for you to be happy and for me to be happy with you Buster: Wish granted, like Buster: I'm finally leaving Rio: 🙌 Buster: I don't even have to give Nance a lift either 'cause she's shopping or some shit Buster: So actually won't be long Rio: Clearly doing something right, like Rio: God or 🍀 whatever you want working in our favour for once Buster: Yeah, as much as I'm the only god you really need, the other bloke ain't doing bad right now Rio: He's the OG wingman when you got him on side, I'm telling you Buster: I hope he ain't the jealous type then 'cause you know you're gonna be praying to me before him Rio: 'Course not Rio: Practically encouraged Rio: if we pretend the birth control ain't there but shh, he turns a blind eye to when I go down the clinic and I turn one to all the suffering, like Buster: Let's never pretend that though Rio: Doesn't do it for me either, I promise you that Buster: That's why you're the one I'm with and not the one we ain't talking about anymore ever Buster: Well, one of the countless reasons, like Rio: I'll take that, happily Buster: I love you, Rio. So much Rio: I love you too Rio: You make me forget that right now isn't perfect 'cos I feel it when you're around Buster: Me too Buster: You're so perfect I'll take that and deal with whatever shit I have to Rio: Together Rio: You don't need to do it all alone anymore Buster: You either Rio: Thank you Buster: You never have to say that to me Rio: I do though 'cos I don't think anyone has ever acknowledged I have shit to deal with Rio: not to be all woe is me about it but Buster: I know they haven't, but like I said before, I know what you need, babe Buster: I'm here for you whatever Rio: How do you know what I need Rio: It's crazy Buster: I don't know Buster: I just do Buster: Maybe I always have Rio: Yeah Rio: I think so Rio: That's how it feels Buster: It's like how you know who I actually am Buster: Not to be that cunt about it Rio: Exactly though Rio: I would've never admitted it, even a year or so back but Rio: I don't know Rio: I knew you were different Buster: Yeah Buster: Why do you think I couldn't come near you, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know we had to get our shit together and heads sorted- ish Rio: but I wish I'd had you sooner still Buster: You did Buster: That kiss still happened Rio: True Buster: I wanted to be around you all the time back then Rio: When you had the misfortune of being in Dublin, like 😉 Buster: It used to make me so mad when I had to go home Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah, I loved it, being here Buster: I don't know when that changed Buster: How I chose London and all those cunts instead Rio: I get it Rio: It was more permanent, more stable Rio: you could only be here properly in the holidays, who wants to come somewhere and feel like they've missed out on so much Rio: Especially when Nance moved too Buster: When she chose here it was like I couldn't have it Buster: Even if I wanted to Buster: It's stupid but Rio: Nah, I see it Rio: I mean, it wasn't you why she left but, it hit too close for comfort for both of you Buster: Enough of it was me Rio: You both had some shit to sort Rio: who doesn't Rio: but I'd say you're both getting there now, yeah? Buster: I'm trying 'cause I didn't before, not hard enough Buster: I didn't want her to stay 'cause she knows me too, even if she didn't reckon I was still that same person, like Buster: It was too hard having her around so I didn't make it easy for her to be Rio: Yeah Rio: Shit is hard enough without giving yourself a hard time, you were doing what you had to for an easy time Rio: Doesn't excuse it or make it right but you can make it right now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna go to Uni here, I've decided Buster: Wherever Nance goes, this is still home for her Buster: And you're here, most importantly Rio: That'll be so good Rio: I'm really excited now Buster: We won't have to do this back and forth bullshit any more Buster: I'll just be here Rio: Have to go more places together to get that platinum membership now, like Rio: but still, what could be better Buster: Exactly Buster: That said, I am nearly there, so I have a few ideas of what could come close Rio: Oh yeah? I'm all ears, baby Buster: I'm gonna make you cum so many times that it won't only be Drew wanting me to stop Buster: You'll be so sensitive to me I'll have you begging Rio: 😩😩😩 Rio: This is me giving full permission to ignore me though because I want that so bad Rio: don't stop 'til you're fully satisfied daddy Buster: I won't be satisfied until you've said my name enough to lose your voice Rio: Oh my God, Buster Buster: Yeah, just like that, babe Rio: Just practicing 😂😋 Buster: Good Buster: Be ready for me Rio: We're beyond ready Rio: You shouldn't have let me play with myself Rio: I'm messy Buster: I'll clean you up, babe, it's okay Rio: If you don't stop, I'm gonna be saying your name before you even get here Buster: Say it Buster: Let him know how bad you want me already Rio: Okay Rio: I'm not even embarrassed, this is just how good you are Buster: Fuck yourself like I'm there watching Buster: I want you weak for me when I am Rio: Yes, sir Buster: Hurry up though 'cause I'm nearly at your door Buster: You have to cum before I get back, yeah? Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so close, I can feel it Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't baby Rio: Tell me to cum for you, oh God please Buster: Go harder now Buster: It's time to cum for me baby Rio: I'm fucking myself so hard he can probably hear exactly how wet my pussy is for you Buster: Yeah he can Rio: This is all for you Buster: Tell me you love me so he knows it too Rio: Buster I love you I love you Buster: I love you Rio: I don't know if I've ever cum like that just with my hand Rio: Jesus Buster: You've been such a good girl for me I'll let myself in Buster: Don't move Rio: I don't think I can, and that's without factoring in how much it makes me melt when you call me your good girl so Buster: If I need you in a different position, I'll move you, don't worry Rio: Come in here and show me how big and strong you are Buster: Just delivering Indie's food and checking out how mad Drew already is Buster: I almost wish you could move so you'd know Rio: Serious? Rio: You're gonna have to fill me in more ways than one then Buster: I will, I promise

[crystals--diary]

Sometimes i wonder why my mom even had me like, she told me before that she didn't like me. And I know if I told her that I remember that today she'll pretend to not fucking remember or just go back to her usual bullshit. I honestly hate this house because it's so abusive. I never get to go anywhere, im hardly allowed to be adult, I'm noy allowed to speak my mind because if I so, I'm automatically the bad person, I'm only allowed to eat once a day And that's cereal. If I ask her for anything else, she'll get mad or make up some fucking excuse as to why i cant have it. Im still fucking mad that she used her fucking bullshit excuse about the salad dressing. Lying ass bitch. That bottle was half full, you just didn't want me have any. I just wabt to leavr this house so bad. I fucking hate it here so much and it hurt s because no one talks to me, i can't talk to them. I feel like dying is the only way I'll be able to escape this abusive situation because in fucking prisoner. I feel like a prisoner here. I shouldn't but i do. It botherd me how my younger brother and sister are the only ones allowed to go to her bathroom but god forbid we ask or otherwise she'll get a fucking additude. It bothers me how they leave me out of everything. It bothers me how my own mother hardly makes the effort to talk to me. I hate it. I hate how i can't talk to anyone in my family and i just feel so alone. Not that any body cares. I wanna leave but i don't have anywhere else and i don't have the money. I wavd to kill myself sometimes but i never do it because im so scared of dying but this life is so painful and i wish i could leave ans that I'd never have to come back here. I hope and i pray that i can leave all this abuse by my family never have to come back. I get so scared that I'll never be able to leave my abusive family. They're all so fucking abusive toward me. Alll of them. I just want the abuse to stop. I want ot to stop. I'd talk if i wasn't so sure that would get me kicked out but sometimes i think maybe getting kicked out would nt be so bad because then i wouldn't have to deal with my mom choosing to lie to me about food over letting me eat...just because she doesn't want me to eat she'll fucking lie to my face

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Caleb

Ali: I know I've got no right to now but I'm worried about you, Caleb, I still care Ali: I mean, I fucking love you but, you don't need to hear that right now Ali: But we do need to talk, and soon Ali: It can be purely about the kids, nothing else Caleb: Why? Are the kids still all good? What's wrong? Ali: They're all fine, no emergencies Ali: but its about Singapore Ali: I'm still going, I have to Ali: but I'm not taking your kids away from you, you know? I don't want it to seem like THAT Ali: so we should arrange when I can bring them back or if we could split their time between us or Ali: I need help working out what's best Ali: for them Caleb: Do what you gotta do Caleb: I'll have €s there to see the bubs Ali: Right, okay Ali: you don't want to add anything else, no questions? Caleb: Nothing you can give me an answer too that I wanna hear Caleb: You feel that? Ali: Try me Caleb: Why'd you let me think she was mine too? That's fucked, Ali Ali: Because I thought she was too Ali: If I had any inkling of a doubt I would have shared it but Ali: Part of the unlucky (and unfuckinglikely no doubt you reckon) 1-2% Ali: It was one person, one time, when we weren't together Ali: Might think that sounds convenient but I'd happily talk you through the dates Caleb: He gonna show up and wanna play daddy to them all? Ali: No Ali: He doesn't want to be a father to his own child Ali: never mind yours Ali: no one can ever take them from you, Caleb, no other man Ali: I would never let that happen Caleb: She's so beautiful how can he do her like that Caleb: Fuck Caleb: But you talking them to another country Ali: This was always on the cards, before any of them, I've always said I was going to go to the Uni, I have to Ali: just...well, you don't want to come now, but you could Ali: you could Ali: I could pay for another place for you, I'll find a way Ali: and, I need to tell you something else but I want to know you're somewhere safe and alone so you can process it properly because Ali: Fuck Caleb: How can I, man? We had plans, plans that didn't include none of this Caleb: Can't pretend she's not there Caleb: I'm at the restaurant, it's empty Caleb: What the fuck else you gonna hit me with? Ali: No Ali: I know Ali: Not everything goes according to plan Ali: Oh Jesus Caleb: I was vibing that you were having my second son Caleb: Not a whitey's daughter Caleb: Understatement of the galaxy Ali: Don't talk about her like that Ali: I wouldn't change her for your second son Ali: She's here, she's my fucking daughter and I love her Ali: I'm not going to pretend otherwise or get rid of her for you Ali: Not even for you Caleb: Shit sorry Caleb: You know I'd never ask Caleb: This ain't on her Ali: I know Ali: whatever happens between us, if her dad ever comes around, no child deserves to be raised believing shit like that about themselves Ali: its wrong and I won't participate in any of it Caleb: I know Caleb: She's part of you, she'll have no worries Caleb: Not about feeling loved Ali: Drew's her Dad, Caleb Ali: it's Drew Caleb: O quê?! Caleb: Você está de brincadeira comigo? Ali: No, I'm not Ali: I'm sorry Caleb: You're sorry? It's chill then Caleb: Fuck Caleb: Puta que pariu Ali: What else can I say? There's nothing else I can now Caleb: That it didn't go down and he wouldn't betray me like that Caleb: That you didn't Ali: I'm not going to lie Caleb: Now you ain't Caleb: You have been since that night Caleb: Letting me think he's my bro Ali: I thought it was for the best Ali: it was a mistake and one that would never happen again Ali: I can see I was wrong now Caleb: nah nah nah you thought it was easiest & I'd never have to be knowing Ali: Well, frankly, from my perspective it was none of your business, yeah Ali: Don't make it sound like I cheated on you Ali: we weren't together, remember? you were sleeping with multiple people at the time, its not as if this was the evil plan the whole time Ali: I wanted to spare your feelings, however misguided, from knowing he would do that Ali: but yeah, I did it too because I was drunk and alone and scared, and you can count that as betrayal but don't put things on me that weren't there Caleb: Don't be making it about that Caleb: I don't care if you're riding with the whole postcode Caleb: he was my brother, Ali Caleb: You didn't have to go there with him Ali: You're right Caleb: I loved you both Caleb: Eu não quero falar com você Caleb: I can't Ali: Please Caleb Ali: Don't go Ali: I'd rather you called me every name under the sun Ali: Please Caleb: Please what come to singapore and raise my best friend's kid that he's refusing to step up for? Caleb: Keep loving you like you're my whole world Caleb: Be a happy fam Ali: well Ali: I know that isn't going to happen Ali: I know that's all gone but Ali: I love you Caleb: But you're sorry so it's all good Caleb: Para! Caleb: I'm not hearing that from you rn Ali: I didn't say that Ali: I'm not Ali: What do you want I'll do anything Caleb: Turn back time and walk away from him Caleb: If you were so alone and scared you shoulda called me! Ali: I can't Ali: and I did call you Ali: you weren't there, you were meant to be looking after the kids so I could go out with my friends and you bailed without warning Ali: but it wasn't petty revenge for that, before you even think that Ali: you weren't there, at all, not for me, not emotionally even when you were physically Ali: why did you want a second son so bad? it isn't Junior's fault, he was just a baby, Caleb Ali: I thought that was it, because even if you still cared for me, you couldn't- wouldn't- care for him like we needed Ali: and yeah, i fucked up, and now everything is ruined Ali: but i already thought it was Caleb: Don't be putting that on me! I love both my kids Caleb: I love him madly Caleb: You got me, I struggled going from when it was so chill to the two kid madness, it got me fucked up Caleb: But I'm not trying to change him like you wouldn't her Ali: I'm sorry Ali: I shouldn't have said that Ali: I was remembering how it felt Ali: I'm his Mother, you gotta understand how much that shit hurt me Ali: even thinking for a second you didn't love him Ali: Like this poor fucking baby who Drew won't even see Caleb: I did you so wrong, I feel that, every day I carry that but I can't turn things back Caleb: If I could I'd go so different Caleb: Harder in better ways, you know? Ali: Well, neither can I Ali: Therein lies the dilemma Ali: We can't go back Ali: We have to go forward but how and where to Ali: we can decide that Ali: we have to Ali: for their sake's Caleb: And ours. I don't wanna leave you unsupported again Caleb: I'm grown now I can be better with it Ali: So can I Ali: should I not go? I can't see how that would make anything better but Ali: maybe I'm just being selfish Caleb: You have to, gatinha Caleb: You was right before Caleb: Everything we have to work through can still happen Caleb: I'd be selfish making you stay Ali: I don't want to leave you Caleb: I know Caleb: Você é o mundo para mim Caleb: I don't wanna miss you Ali: Trí na chéile a thógtar na cáisléain Ali: Can't you come? Ali: Genuine question as much as it is begging Caleb: I don't wanna be a part time dad but that isn't how we should play this Caleb: I'm mad hurt Caleb: I wanna just be in love with you but Ali: I know Caleb: How can I look at that perfect baby and not see how my bro treated me? I can't do that to her or you Caleb: She's half yours and it's a big half but it's still his kid Caleb: Shit, man Caleb: we in circles Ali: Yeah Ali: But you can do it Ali: I know it can't be me who asks you to Ali: but I know you have enough love and room in your heart Caleb: Where you at? I wanna come and be with the kids for a while Ali: At my Mum and Dad's Ali: Come see them Ali: Any time Caleb: They gonna have that? Your rents aren't my biggest fans Ali: Of course, they're not pricks for the sake of Ali: they know this is on me, not you Caleb: Still. Maybe let's go take them out Caleb: Softplay or something Ali: Okay, softplay it is Ali: do you want me to come or just drop them with you Caleb: Come with Caleb: I meant what I said, don't wanna be missing on you Ali: Okay Caleb: You down if I come in 20 Caleb: I know she'll have a routine Ali: We're good to go Ali: if she needs to nap or gets fussy I can always go for a walk 'round Caleb: We got this Ali: We do Ali: Mo shíorghra Caleb: A chéadsearc