#and I felt soooo embarrassed. Horrible

[ratcandy]

speaking of that last post I often forget my main google acc is called Clam and I shared a doc made w/ that account to a classmate and she asks “hey by the way. Why is your name Clam.” And I just had to look back at her and go “um. Don’t worry about it”

[livelaughlovesubs]

Ermermerm soooo… can u plz do a lil fic where like, reader is a hardworking person and is like working a 9 to 5 job or wtv and one day they get yelled at by their boss and since reader is pissed they come home and takes the frustration out on Kunikida by fucking him HARD and goes on multiple rounds ermmmm…. THIS IS SO BAD IM SORRY ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Ur fics r my girl dinner. Anywayz… luv u nini!! Thx 4 putting up with me ;3

- 🎀

No no no, it’s alright bae, I don’t mind. Your ideas are always so good too, I’ll work on the other ones soon, it might take a while but.. oh well

Dom!reader x sub!Kunikida

Reader is gender neutral

Warning: pegging (you can read it as strap or not, it’s not mentioned)

“Ugh, who does he think he is?!” You vented, seemingly annoyed. “Screaming at me like that, son of a bitch. Hey, kunikida, the fuck are you doing?” Your grip on his waist tightened, basically pinching him. He arched his back and yelped a little, “ah..! What are you- mhm, doing.” The male was riding you while you held him by the hips, giving him instructions and commands. “You are doing a horrible job, fuck it, I’ll do it.” Without giving him any warnings, you changed positions and got up, caussing him to fall onto his back.

“Ah, y/n?! I- UgH-Hngnn!” Kunikida gasped, now in the mating press with your arms forcing his legs to be raised to his chest. “You see I didn’t have a great day.” He moaned as he felt you deeper inside him, all thanks to this new position. “And I really don’t have any patience now.” Right before you started moving, his reached out to you, his shaking hands gently grabbed your arms. “P-please.. it’s the third round, I can’t do anymore…!”

That was the truth, he’s been riding you for a while now. Though just because that needy whore’s been pleased, doesn’t mean you were satisfied with his performance. “I’ve expected more from you.” You admitted with a cold gaze. Kunikida flinched as he saw your expression, shyly avoiding eye contact. He did kind of expect it, but it still surprised him when you suddenly started moving. Since he was stretched already due to the previous rounds, you were able to move faster from the start. Snapping your hips against his while panting slightly, using your anger as energy and his body as stress relief. “Ah-ahHhAa!” The Blondie cried out, tears rolling down his pretty face and decorating those flushed cheeks. His glasses were placed away on the nightstand, at a save distance. There were times were they broke during your sessions.

His body trembled with each thrust, he bit his lip to suppress those deliciously embarrassing moans he’d make. It was of no use though, because the pleasure was too overwhelming, so much that he was losing his mind. “What’s the problem, kunikida? You are normally so cool headed after all~” you teased him, not stopping with your relentless pounding. Fuck, you just loved that humiliated face of his. The way he shook underneath you, eyes pleading for your mercy, it was absolutely stunning. Like a drug to which you got addicted, and you couldn’t get enough of it.

“Ah- uHhh..! Y/n, y-y/n, MHmmm!” The man whimpered through clenched teeth, you always had to embarrass him like this and he was never able to get used to it. What happened at your work this time? One day he was definitely going to kill that boss of yours. Since when you get furious over them, in the end, he’s always the one to suffer. “What are you thinking about, getting distracted like this?” Your question pulled him out of his day dream, startling him a little. He wasn’t even able to respond before you considered it unnecessary and moved even rougher. Taking away from the speed and instead focusing on reaching deep inside him.

Kunikida could swear he saw stars, the way his entire body tingled each time you touched him was rendering him to a mess. He was getting closer to the edge, his legs wrapped around your waist to keep you closer. You felt a shiver down your spine, he was too cute when like this. “Ah.. ughh, y/n..!” The male groaned again, he used all his strength to whisper a warning but the words didn’t want to come out, “I’m- mhHmm! C-close..” it was just too much for him to handle, he was already sensitive from the previous rounds. It’s not his fault you feel so good.

You didn’t slow down, there was no need for it. Watching him all twitchy and messed up like this was your favourite thing to do after all. He clenched around you as he came, leaking his cum all over his belly. It dripped down his shaft in an erotic way, all the way to his hole, soaking his thighs and the bed. “Uh..HhhMM.!! Ga-gahhhHh..” a chocked out moan slipped from him, lasting until he finished his load. Some tears rolled down the sides of his face, or maybe it was sweat? He looked at you with trembling eyes, a hint of need and undeniable ecstasy present. “Good job.” You praised him, before turning him around onto his belly, licking your lips as you did. “Let’s keep doing that until you forget my name~” Those desperate eyes turned into one of fear and curiosity soon, he just pressed his face against the pillow as he let you do whatever you wanted. What a good little stress relief~

(Tag: @nvllxiety)

[ebaylee422]

Decking the Halls

Steve Harrington X Girlfriend!reader

Author’s Note:  Angst to cute sex, I’m not sorry. This is post Season 3, pre Season 4. I just love being angsty. I also really needed to clear my drafts soooo X-mas in March everyone!

Summary: Stockings aren’t the only things being stuffed this Christmas season. Steve has never decorated for Christmas, he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to ruin your sprit by avoiding you. Don’t worry though, he shows you just how appreciative he is after. 

Characters: Steve Harrington, Girlfriend reader, mentions of shitty parents and the rest of the ST nuggets. Best Friend Robin Buckley!!

Warnings/Tags: Smut (Minors DNI!!!) abandonment issues? as an intro, p in v sex, marking kink, praise kink, fem oral (receiving). breeding?

Word Count: 3k

Part One/?

You had tried everything to get Steve into the Christmas spirit: buying decorations for your apartment, getting matching pj’s, going to watch the lights in Indianapolis,  watching Christmas movies, the Ice-Skating was most regrettable because you fell forward and knocked your teeth hard enough to bleed. Even planning a white elephant with him and his friends, sharing hot cocoa and warmth of your space heater. What you didn’t know is as soon as he left your place he was greeted by his parents' empty house. Decorated from some stupid trendy catalog his mother only glanced at before swiping a credit card. His father, not even home long enough to realize the tinsel monstrosity within the living room. The presents underneath were fake, they stopped being real when his father told him to grow up. That Santa wasn’t real, saying he needed to start giving instead of hoping for some joy from a fat man each holiday season. So that’s exactly what he did, the first Christmas he’d enjoyed in a long time was on Christmas of 83’, when he was with Nancy. They’d gotten each other meaningful gifts, it was the happiest Christmas he thought he’d ever had. Even if he went home unable to look at his pool outside for too long knowing his friend had died. Even if there were disgusting monsters trying to eat his friends when they had the chance. How horrible humans were in comparison, like the Russians nearly beating him to death at Starcourt. Instead of celebrating what he was thankful for, he felt immense guilt every holiday. He’d confided in you once about his survivor's guilt, as you had called it a couple months ago during an intense flashback. You’d comfort him, make sure he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be anyone’s burden, Steve knew you were worried about him it would show whenever he ‘had’ to leave for work or Robin’s, or get clothes from his place.

It all came to a standstill when you’d asked him if he would come pick a Christmas Tree with you. Wanting to have it up before the kids came over, finish decking-the-halls you’d told him. Only Steve didn’t know what picking out a Christmas Tree was, sure it’s self explanatory but what if he made a fool of himself. With his pretty rich boy ‘I’ve never had to pick one out’, it seemed too intimate. Sure you’d bared your body-mind-and-soul to him, but wanting to do something so domestic together like picking out a Christmas Tree. For your first Christmas together as a couple, it was scary for him. So instead of being a Scrooge so he could work on his feelings, he faked an illness even going as far as calling out sick today. Keith hadn’t been too happy but chopped it up to Steve sucking too much face on the job and gave him the day anyway. And he was back to square one, an empty ugly house with none of your warmth. People would think his middle name was self-sabotage, especially when that door-bell rang. He got up from his cocoon from the coach with a groan, an aching shooting up to his spine when his socked feet hit the freezing hardwood. Shined and renewed for the inevitable party his parents would throw this Christmas Eve for work friends, where they forgot they even had a son. He stopped dead in his tracks shaking the sleep from his eyes when they were met with yours, holding a tote bag while shaking the light dusty of snow off your figure. It melted into your skin leaving you shiny with the dew, nose and ears kissed pink while your chin and neck were tucked tightly with the collar of your coat and scarf. You smiled at him as he studied your form, like an angel sent just for him. He was bundled up in simple joggers, thick wool socks and heavy blanket around his shoulders worn like a cape tucked around his body, but shirtless still despite it being nearly as cold inside as it is outside. Shaking your body of the remaining snow, laying the tote bag of groceries and sick necessities you’d brought over on the stairs so you could slide out of your heavy snow covered boots.

“Hi baby, how r’ you feeling?” you asked him with a voice full of sticky sweetness and adoration. His face changed in that moment from shock to guilty, you felt the change floating in the air like oil through water.

“What are you doing here?” He asked louder than either of you had expected, causing you to turn his way fully as you began to undo the ties of your coat. 

“I came to check on you, bring you some-”

“Why?” He scoffed, tucking the blanket to cover himself from the breezing air flow of the open hall. You were wearing a red corduroy skirt, with black stocking underneath and a cream sweater that didn’t even compare to how soft your hair was laid across your shoulders. You looked at him like he hung up the stars, even though you were the brightest thing about his life.

“Robin called me worried about you saying you called out because you were sick. So I canceled the tree plans to come check on you because you didn’t call me. I even whipped up some Chicken and Rice soup and scrunched up a couple medicines.”

“You shouldn’t have done that, I’m fine Y/N. You should go get your tree and I’ll see you on Friday like you planned.” he brushed off your kindness,

“Well I wanted to take care of you.” you told him shyly, "You haven't been around as often."

“Okay thanks.” he shook his head, body and tone still uncomfortable and unmatched of your own tenderness.

“Do you not want me here or something?” You scoffed with affection grabbing the bag from the stairs, stepping in front of him giddy with untamable affection.

“No.” He answered quickly and when your face dropped, his own heart went with it when you backed away from him. “No, I mean yes but not right now. I’m just-”

“It’s fine, Steve." You cut him off, turning away and grabbing your stuff. "I get it, I’m sorry I could’ve called.” he stopped you putting out his hand as an olive branch. You took it without hesitation, sniffling away the tears that built up for weeks of you arguing and avoiding each other. 

“Don’t you dare apologize, especially to me.” He took your reddened cheeks in his hands as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “I’m just being an idiot, I’m sorry but I’m not even sick so you doing all this nice shit over-” 

“I know you’re not sick, Steve. You’re a terrible faker.” You said factually, with a teasing tone. Still not looking at him but rather at your wiggling toes against the shiny floor.

“Oh really now? Robin didn’t tell you anything.”

“Well the strange, ‘Steve wanted my shift the same day he always has off’ the one day I could go tree picking with you. Then calling out and claiming illness, and not calling me is pretty obvious.” You let the bag fall again, his shoulders relaxed as you tugged on the length of his blanket. “Are you breaking up with me?” you asked with furrowed brows and a whimper to your voice.

“No!” Steve yelled, “No never no, I-I love you so much. You are my favorite everything Y/N.” He wrapped you both in the blanket tugging you flush against him. “I just have a hard time with the holidays, I don’t really know what to do with myself. I didn’t want to be embarrassed, it was a lot of pressure.” You both held each other silently letting the fear wash over both of you, until you giggled into his neck.

“I love you, Steve. Honestly, just talking to me would’ve saved us both a headache.” He sighed heavy as he wrapped his arms tighter around you, head resting on your chin.

“Jeez, what are we gonna do with me?” he whispered into your scalp, the fluffy hair on his chest tickling your cheek as you were held by his heart.

“I can think of one.” You pursed your lips, closing your eyes with your chin held high awaiting a kiss. He obliged you immediately, cupping your cheeks in his hands to accurately press his lips to yours. His hands were freezing, sending a shiver and gasp involuntarily out of you. Steve took the opportunity to lick into your mouth, tasting-ly. Pulling back before you could reciprocate, you whined gripping his biceps accidentally pushing off his blanket.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, nose brushing against yours.

"I didn't mean to pressure you, you just seem so sad."

"You make me happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you could meet me in an ice cream shop above a secret Russian base. While enjoying strawberry more than chocolate ice cream and you'll still make me happy." 

"Well, if our circumstances of meeting are the worst part of the relationship, I think that's a pretty good incentive to making better more normal memories, yeah?"

"Maybe." He kissed the tip of your still pink nose.

"Maybe, we could go back to my place? It's always freezing here." You added with a shiver making the hairs on your arms stand up.

"Not when you're here. Just stay here a second longer." His lips moved with their own incentive. It didn't take much convincing on either of your parts before you were upstairs in his room. A path of clothes thrown haphazardly off of each other through broken giggles and soft kisses, until your just in under clothes. He holds you to him as he opens the door to his room, and your feet barely touch the floor as he twirls the two of you around. Bringing you down with him as he falls backward on the bed with a thud. Kissing you with fondness, sweet like the honey color of his eyes. You loved him so much it hurt like the side pains after laughing so hard you teared up. Like when you realize that magic might not be real but people were and kindness. Kindness and compassion were the real magic. People found a reason to be with each other, even if it was once a year. Steve never had that. Everything in his life was transactional, Christmas, school, his parents, most other relationships. Those few closet to him probably haven't ever seen this side either. The checkered boy room with little to no traces of living aside from Steve's nightstand with Polaroids of everyone scattered about. A bin in his closet kept hidden away where he'd kept his Scoops Ahoy name tag, a letter from a pen-pal in sixth grade, ticket stubs of every drive in movie. Some more Polaroids for his eyes only you'd given him after you first started dating, and he'd left his shirt in your room. Even as you lay on top of him now, kisses sucked into your neck, his strong hands massaging your sides in worship. You couldn't help what words came out next.

"Come with me." You begged him breathlessly opening your eyes to see his lips swollen and slick, hair haloed and shaggy around his face and sheets. Like melting caramel against the ugly grey and navy bedding.

"Already babe, I haven't even touched you." He mumbled rocking his pelvis into yours, forcing your legs to accommodate him more with a thigh on either side of his hips. You sat up taller straddling him, a pout etched into your face.

"No, I mean. Come home with me, lets live together. I'll get rid of things you can bring whatever you want, I can dip into my tuition nest egg and buy whatever we need for the apartment. Make it yours too, or we can find another one that you like better. I just want you all to myself." He sat up holding onto your waist so you didn't fall, making you squeak with the shift in position. Your heart sank as his eyes were so wide they could've jumped out of his skull.

“What?” he asked as his breath caught in his throat, a pure swell of undoubtable happiness warming him from the tip of his nose down to his sock covered feet.

“It’s just, I wasn’t lying Stevie. I wanna take care of you, you give so much to every-” He kissed you, desperately. Teeth clashing and tongues forming together making you dizzy enough to loose balance upright on your knees. Pulling back to gasp for air, a string of spit connecting you to him. He wiped it away, tucking his head into your chest.

“You’re perfect. I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

“Even picking out a Christmas Tree with me?”

“I will grow you a damn Christmas Tree, even better I’ll get the kids to help me chop down one in my backyard!”

“Stevie! That’s dangerous.”

“Well, sweets. 

Danger.

Is.

My middle name.” He trailed four kisses down your body, stopping just shy of your covered mound. Hooking his fingers under the band of your underwear, biting your hip making you buck up long enough for him to shimmy them off your legs.

“I thought your middle name was Alexander?”

“You won’t your own name once I’m done with you.” He said sultry, kneeling at the foot of the bed. Yanking your ankles to bring you closer to his mouth, spreading your legs wide and over his shoulders. You were beautiful, regardless what you were doing but letting him take care of you. Make you feel good and be vulnerable, made his head spin. Your lips were sticky with arousal, he could smell your sweet nectar begging for him to taste you. Marks still slightly visible from last time, he started there sucking and biting the mailable flesh. 

“Stevie, please-” You cried out, hands trying to find purchase with his. He stopped sucking a bruise, eyes blown wide when he found yours. Locking your hands to your sides,

“Your so sweet, baby. Asking so nicely.” He chastely kissed on your hood, tongue licking underneath to wet and flick at your clit. You groaned and threw you head back, “So sweet, baby. Keep your legs open for me. I have a lot of apologizing to do down here.”

“Stevie, no I want you. Please.” You writhed on the bed trying to keep your legs spread for him, he blew cool air at your entrance causing you to clench around nothing. You body craved to be filled, senses overwhelmed of one thing: Steve, Steve, Steve!

“Just wanna warm you up, we have all the time in the world sweets. Wanna wreck this bed before leaving.” He was antagonizing you, teasing with his pretty words and slightly movements you couldn’t even respond him. He licked a line from your entrance to your clit, groaning at your taste. Hips colliding with the end of his bed to relieve pressure as he sucked your clit into his mouth. Rolling the bud with his tongue, your nail dug into his knuckles as you shook with ecstasy.

“ ‘S so good, Stevie. Don’t stop-” You were so pent up from earlier all it took was a few more rolls of his tongue against you and for you to fall apart. Concentrating on keeping your legs open for him, as he licked you clean. Nudging his nose against your sensitive clit, he let go of one of your hands tangling it in his hair.

“Hold it out of my face, baby. I want one more before I cum inside you.” He coated his fingers with your release, slowly sliding in one as his tongue still fucked into you. You couldn’t help rocking your hips against his face when he added another finger inside you. Scissoring, stretching you and rubbing against your spongy spot. You tugged at his locks when he came back up to suck at your clit again, you didn’t even notice the heat break in your belly until you gushed and clenched around his fingers. You pushed at his forehead from sensitivity, barely able to catch your breath when you pulled him up to kiss you. lips and chins dripping of you. Trailing your nails down his soft tummy following the happy trail underneath his boxers, you met him halfway stroking his thick cock with your slick. Still coating his hand, pre-cum dripping from his tip making the sounds completely pornographic.

“ ‘m not gonna last baby, want you so bad.” He whispered against your lips, breathing heavy with a sheen of sweat layering you both in the smell of sex.

“Need you too, wanted you ages ago.” You sassed, making him laugh against your cheek as he stood. You wrapped your legs around his waist, his cock twitched when it brushed against the inside of your thigh.

“You gotta big mouth on you, sweet girl.”

“You better do something about it, Harrington.” With a roguish grin he ran his length over your clit once before pushing ever so slightly inside. Taking your breaths away, you were the girl and only girl who could take Steve’s fat cock completely. He just has to ease you into it, inch by inch until his hip bone grazed the back of your thighs. Steve stood tall and far enough away you couldn’t kiss him from where you were sprawled out under him. You pulled and squeezed at your breasts still contained by your bra. His cock glistening with your slick as he pulled his hips back, then pushing deeper inside his sack pressed tight against your ass. Steve nearly loss his balance when you clenched around him, putting his hands under your knees. Folding you in half made it feel like he was in your throat, he leaned over you the pressure of his body as he set a ruthless pace set flames in your abdomen. Pounding his cock into you over and over again moaning out praises as he bullied all the way to your cervix. Punching breaths out of you watching as your tits bounced, you had enough pulling him fully on top you. Hands indenting his shoulders as your hips met his, clit pulsing and with need. 

“You feel so good. Shit, shit- I’m cumming, cumming inside.” Steve’s core tighten as he ran two finger over your clit, heat erupted across your body. You milked Steve dry, his warm seed and your three orgasms dripping from each others groin. You pulled him on top of you, comforted by his weight on you as his cock softened inside you. 

“Do you really want too?” You asked in the post orgasm bliss, running a hair through his now tangled locks. “I don’t want to trap you with amazing sex and joy but it’s definitely a perk.” Steve rose onto his elbows, still seated inside you. Brushing the hair out of your face, with softness.

“I’m sure we can wreck this bed a lot more than just cum stains.” Pushing at his chest, he pulled out of you gently. Scurrying to his bathroom where you listened as he turned on the faucet in the shower. Sitting up, he came back with all his glory. Hand raised for you to take, the same olive branch you’d given him at Starcourt. All this time. “I can’t wait to spend Christmas in our home, together.”

You’d never been so excited to spend the holidays with anyone else.

Masterlist 

[ozzy-boy]

Scale, Volks and Cole with drunk mc?

Also I love your works ♥️

thank you ~ for the sake of simplicity lets also just pretend like scale and cole are old enough to drink in the US ok ok

-

Scale:

-Sometimes his assassin work parties will have sake but he has a horrible tolerance so he normally abstains and doesn't drink much.

-He gets a little too drunk at a work party and nearly breaks his nose trying to do a backflip ONE TIME and suddenly he's banned from drinking 🙄

-He supposes that he'll still go to this party with you, though... He doesn't want someone messing with you, after all.

-You hold his hand the whole time, pulling him along though the house. He feels kind of lame for just following you around all night but he doesn't know anyone else.

-So awkward and out of place in social settings. He's mostly used to hanging out with other assassins and not, like, normal people.

-He feels even more out of place a few hours later when you're drunk as fuck, half sitting in his lap and laughing your ass off at a joke he didn't understand.

-He carries you on his back the whole way home, your shoes in one hand and bag in the other, all while you drunkenly ramble about how strong he is.

-Despite how out of place he felt, he likes to take care of you so at the end of the day he doesn't mind. Plus it's pretty freakin' cute how much you bragged about him to your friends while hammered.

Volks:

-Not a fan of drinking, so chances are he's gonna get stuck as DD. Not that it really bothers him.

-If you're a flirty/handsy drunk he's gonna lose his mind a little bit. Soooo flustered.

-He comes to pick you up from a night out with your friends and you practically attack him with messy kisses and hugs, loudly thanking him for being the best boyfriend in the world.

-He's so embarrassed about such blatant affection in public around other people but he just puts an arm around your waist and half-carries half-drags you back home.

-You're rambling the whole time but your words are so slurred and jumbled that he can barely understand you so he just goes "Mhm." every once in a while and you seem content with that.

-He's so sweet and caring tho... Takes your makeup off for you, gets you changed into comfy pajamas, and makes you take painkillers and drink tons of water to help your hangover <3

-And he only complains a little bit! And if that doesn't show that he loves you then I don't know what does.

Cole:

-He's also not much of a drinker. He appreciates a nice wine, but he doesn't really drink to get drunk.

-(He's fucked up enough as it is he doesn't need alcohol making him worse.)

-Thinks you're so fucking cute when inebriated. There's something so endearing about the vulnerability. Whenever you drink he can't help but continue to slide you a new full glass whenever yours gets a little low.

-He'll sit there with a big grin on his face when you tell a story, your words slurred and voice slightly too loud without you realizing.

-The other patrons of this nice restaurant are probably annoyed at you two but Cole couldn't care less. You look amazing in the candlelight and the two of you are having a great time.

-Has to remind himself to be gentlemanly. Although if he sneaks a few extra kisses and squeezes when you're drunk and pliable then please don't hold it against him.

-He'll be so sweet when you've got a hangover the next morning though I promise.

[ticklishfiend]

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS PROMPT WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT. WHATEVER YOU WANT. IF YOU WANT TO USE IT. it's horribly evil and i trust you with it:

character a wanting tickles in some way, and character b (who knows about their deal and is totally being evil) picking up on it and character b somehow "forgets" what tickling is and how to do it and needs a little memory boost, convincing character A to explain it to them and tell them exactly what to do in order to get what they want 😌

"where do i put my hands?" / "now what?" / "where else should i try?"

- 🍓

i never finished this and im soooo sorry dude, i fell out of my hyperfixation and the motivation just floated out of my body bruh. anyways, here's the unfinished drabble, i hope u like it anyways!!

-

Aziraphale shifted in his seat. Crossed his legs, then uncrossed them immediately because it felt wrong. He rubbed his forearms against the couch arms uncomfortably, nails picking at the fabric. 

Aziraphale knew why he felt so off. But admitting it feels so improper. 

Instead, his eyes stayed fixed on Crowley lounging about on his designated couch spot. Aziraphale waited anxiously for him to notice how off he was acting. 

Crowley continued picking at his nails, not even bothering to look up at him. The one time Aziraphale wouldn’t mind a little teasing behavior from Crowley and he’s looking at his hand. 

Fine. Fine. He’ll say something, something small to get Crowley jump started. It never takes much to get him going anyways, so Aziraphale will have him in no time. 

“Ahem,” Aziraphale fake-coughed, a little obvious but if it works it works. Crowley looked up, brows furrowing at Aziraphale’s tense form, noticing his finger tapping impatiently at the arm. 

“You alright?”

Aziraphale gave a small shy smile, not looking Crowley in the eyes. His own nails seemed of more interest all of a sudden. “Just feeling…a bit antsy, is all, dear.”

“Oh,” Crowley squinted his eyes, suspicious and curious. “Any particular reason you’re so jittery? Got ants in your pants, angel?”

“Nothing of the sort.”

They were both quiet for a moment. A staring contest. Well, Crowley stared him down at least. Azirphale actually did everything but stare. 

Crowley hummed, going back to his hand. 

Are you actually joking.

Aziraphale huffed. Okay fine. Again. Maybe Crowley’s just a bit slow today. Yeah, that’s it. He needs a more obvious push. It’s more embarrassing, sure, but the metaphorical ants in his pants feel like they're crawling around faster now and he’s gonna need some relief soon. 

So Aziraphale took a big, long stretch. His arms raised above him, a satisfying groan just to call Crowley’s attention to his very exposed and vulnerable torso. And, of course, this did catch Crowley’s eye. 

He chuckled. Bingo. 

“Can’t keep still today, can ya?” Crowley sat on the edge of his seat, elbow propped on his knee to rest his chin in his hand. He watched Aziraphale settle back into his chair with a grin. “Anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

Aziraphale felt himself will back a blush. “Oh, well, I…I’m not sure. Anything you’d like, I’m sure I’d appreciate.”

“Mm…” Crowley hummed with a smile, eyes trailing Aziraphale up and down. Aziraphale was having a really hard time looking at him right now, it was very cute. “Seriously, angel, I’m not sure how to help you here. I cooould…make you some tea? Maybe grab some cakes by the coffee shop?” Crowley really couldn’t keep that cheeky grin off his face for a second, could he? “But maybe you can throw some suggestions out since my mind is drawing quite the blank.”

Aziraphale truly couldn’t tell if he was being serious. Was that smile devious or just him offering a nice gesture? Crowley had his sweet moments, if anyone would know it’d be Aziraphale, but was this that?? It didn’t really feel like it, but he didn’t want to flub. 

“Maybe we could figure something out easier if I…sat next to you?” 

“Brilliant idea,” Crowley sat back against the cushion, patting the spot next to him. “Make yourself comfy.” 

Aziraphale threw a tight smile his way as he got up, feeling very peculiar about this whole thing. Usually Crowley jumped right into this, eager to get his hands on him and make Aziraphale cackle. Now Crowley’s acting like he’s never tickled him a day in his life. 

Aziraphale hopes his brain is just working slower today than usual. The alternative is something he’s becoming very wary over. 

Finally seated, Aziraphale sat up straight as a board. He knew exactly what he was doing, too. If he looks too tense or stiff, Crowley always finds the excuse to tickle him into relaxing. Really, Aziraphale can be quite the schemer when he wants to be. 

Crowley just watched him for a moment, taking notice each time Aziraphale nervously glanced his way. Crowley reached and gave Aziraphale a soothing rub up and down his back, not stopping when Aziraphale tried flinching away. 

“Wow, you’re tense. Really, I’d love to help, but you are funny about your massages,” Crowley purred, giving Aziraphale a pat on the back before leaning back. 

Aziraphale ringed his hands. “Ah, yes well, that’s only sometimes,” he bluffed, trying to find any excuse to get Crowley’s dexterous fingers on him right this second. “I don’t think a massage sounds so bad right now, actually.”

Crowley chuckled, “Really? Usually you get all huffy when I offer you one of my famous massages,” he squeezed Aziraphale’s shoulder, which would’ve felt affirming if not for the teasy tone lacing Crowley’s voice right now. What a devil. 

Aziraphale did get huffy at that. “Well that’s because you always…” he waved his hand about in the air as if it would jog Crowley’s memory of all the very tickly massages he’s given Aziraphale in the past. Innocent rubs and firm presses to start, but eventually Crowley always trailed a little too close to Aziraphale’s sides, a little too gently, everything was always a little too much. Admittedly, Aziraphale thought that sounded perfect for his current mood. 

But Crowley just quirked his head, like a confused puppy. “What are you on about?” he pressed, before physically adjusting Aziraphale to lay down on the couch, back up. Crowley straddled his waist, “I always what?”

Aziraphale’s face felt like it could burn through the pillow he hid himself in. “You do know. Stop messing about.”

“Angel, if I knew what you were talking about…” Crowley leaned his face close into Aziraphale’s exposed ear, giving a hard press into his shoulder blades. His breath tickled as he whispered, “…don’t you think I’d be doing it right now?”

Oh for heaven's sake. Aziraphale felt he could bust through the seams with how on edge he was at the moment. He felt squirmier, hands pressing into spots in an extremely un-ticklish manner that made him want to whine. This is so unfair. Crowley knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s figured out a way to make Aziraphale squirm more than usual and he is not taking it for granted.  

Aziraphale’s not sure whether to be excited and thankful, or hit him over the head with his pillow. 

“You’re being cruel,” Aziraphale muttered into his pillow, fingers squeezing the cushion in anticipation. Maybe he’d start when Aziraphale least expected? Maybe Crowley’s getting impatient too? But he couldn’t know any of this for sure, so he had to wait, and isn’t that just the most internally ticklish feeling there was?

“Cruel? I’m giving you a massage, for Satan’s sake. I think if anyone is being cruel it’s you. I know you’ve got something you won’t tell me. I can hear those cogs turning in that pretty little head of yours,” Crowley gave his scalp a quick scratch, chuckling at the flinch that came with it. “Jumpy, are we?”

“Yes, okay? Just get on with it, please. I don’t think I can take much more of this. I’ve gone red, Crowley,” he whined like Crowley had made his body malfunction. He was getting a little desperate now. If his very obvious advances won’t work, asking must do this trick. It had to. 

But Crowley hummed again. And Aziraphale knew he wasn’t finished with his little tricks. 

“Gonna need you to be a little more specific. I’m a bit lost, you see,” Crowley’s hands trailed to hold Aziraphale’s sides firmly. Bastard.  

Aziraphale exhaled deeply into the pillow, close to pulling his hair out. “I would like you to…tickle me. Please.”

There was a hesitant silence, like Crowley was pondering his next move and Aziraphale was waiting with bated breath for it. 

Then Crowley spoke. And Azirphale almost wished he hadn’t of. 

“What’s tickling, dear?”

Fuck. Fuck. 

“Nooo,” Aziraphale groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes, beyond flustered and frustrated. 

“What? I’m not allowed to ask questions now?”

“It seems like asking questions is all you’re doing, actually…”

“I can’t do what you want if I don’t even know the definition,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale could hear the grin in his voice. Sometimes Aziraphale forgets he chooses to room with an actual, real-life demon. “You gettin’ the picture?”

“Cruel. Cruel, wily serpent. Hell spawn, you are.”

“Yeah, don’t wear it out, angel,” Crowley’s hands squeezed a very non-ticklish squeeze against Aziraphale’s sides, as if just to remind him of where he was above him. “Let's get you flipped over. Can't rightly tell me about this whole tickling thing if your face is smushed into the cushion.”

“Hhhnn,” Aziraphale groaned through a whiny giggle, adjusting under Crowley to lay on his back. Having his flushed face now on display is not helping whatsoever. 

Crowley smiled down at him, and Aziraphale swore he saw a forked tongue peek through his sharp teeth. Evil thing. “Why hello there.”

“Hush.”

“I don’t get a hello back?”

“Not after all this teasing you don’t,” Aziraphale would cross his arms if he could, but a certain someone was blocking him with his knees. 

“Teasing? Me? I think you really have lost your marbles, dear. I would do no such thing,” Crowley lied through his teeth, settling on Aziraphale’s waist. His hands drifted back to Aziraphale’s sides, firm all the same. “Now…about this tickling thing?” 

“You know what tickling is, Crowley. Stop messing with me,” Aziraphale stood his ground, though he found it hard to look Crowley in the eyes right now. Something about those pointed irises and the yellow surrounding them felt truly piercing at the moment. Sharp enough to cut through Aziraphale’s wavering boldness. 

“Really, darling, I haven’t a clue. But I'd love to find out if you’d be so inclined?” Crowley caressed Aziraphale’s sides, seemingly to comfort, but the angel nearly shivered. “Especially since you’re so eager for me to figure it out, hm?”

Aziraphale huffed. He’s been huffy since this whole thing started, but now that he can sense what he really wants is just over the horizon, breathing is becoming something of a manual task. “Is this really what it’s going to take?”

Crowley smiled a wicked smile. “I think you’ll find I’m a very fast learner.” 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, if only to distract himself from that fluttery feeling in his belly at those words. 

Closing his eyes and taking a sigh, Aziraphale was ready to get this over with. “T-tickling is…it’s, well…we created it together many, many years ago. If you touch certain parts of the body, my body, I’ll laugh. Involuntarily. So…” Aziraphale coughed awkwardly. “So there. That’s tickling.”

Crowley snickered. Azirphale shoved at his face playfully, his own face feeling warmed by the second. “You’re terrible, Crowley.”

“Aren’t I just?” Crowley said, taking Aziraphale’s hand and pushing it down against the cushion. “So…parts of your body, huh? Wanna be more specific about that?”

“Goodness gracious, you are insufferable,” Aziraphale chuckled through a whine, twisting the wrist in Crowley’s hand. “My…well, my sides are pretty sensitive.” 

“Sensitive…you mean…?”

“Ticklish, yes, ticklish! Crowley I swear if you d—dohohoahaha-! C-Crohohowley!” Azirpahale giggled happily when he felt precise fingers finally digging into his sides. 

“I think you deserve a little reward for your knowledge,” Crowley grinned, his pinching endless on Aziraphale’s sides. He basked in those silly giggles, happy his little game is over so he can finally hear his angel sing 

[harzeke]

cleaning out my ask box

SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN WAITING ON ME TO ANSWER THEIR ASKS... I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY!!! but now that i have the time, i'm going to clear everything out now!

asks under the cut!

i'm gonna put requests in another post but that one might take a little longer, cause i'm going on a vacation next week and won't be drawing a lot... stay tuned (and feel free to send more requests/asks in the meantime!)

the link included

@sapphireroses282

episode 17 was such... a ride oh my god. as much as i love riya i was pretty surprised that they had her not only stoop so low but double down!??!?! crazy. she's still in my top 5 DC characters because i think this adds pretty interestingly to her existing character (esp with what's happened since then in episode 18) but. MAN. CONNOR CAN'T CATCH A BREAK HUH!

i've seen a couple alec greetings about his reactions to riya's actions and it's clear to me he no longer has any positive feelings towards her LOL. i guess we'll see if there's more about that in the motel ep!

i saw alec as bisexual for most of the series but something about the love triangle with him and connor and riya and the way he mentioned riya making him feel like he was looking into a mirror of his worst flaws made me like wow. maybe he never liked her at all and only wanted someone he could relate to. maybe he felt that way with his wife. ooh. does... does alec like women? and it spiraled from there LMFAO

i drew this a couple weeks ago, but i have more dahlice (and EE in general) coming soon! some of my recent work on the show has been inspiring me a lot let's just say that heh...

FUNNY THAT YOU SAY THIS ANON (also thank you i love drawing aleconnor so this is high praise) BECAUSE I HAVE SOOOO MANY IDEAS. i want to draw connor wanting to catch up with tom and jake so he's like lets go on a double date yayyy and tomjake are like "oh you're dating someone? it's not riya is it" and connor is like "God no" and then he shows up and its alec JUP0GB0S-DPUG0JDERG0F

So . fun fact. i have horrible horrible secondhand embarrassment when it comes to watching TV and movies to the point i have to physically leave the room or be far away from the screen or cover my ears when embarrassing scenes are happening. needless to say i was pacing my house during that episode. Now i look upon it fondly though. Throw it back connor

[iknowyuu]

rainfall

choi soobin x gender neutral! reader

↝ wc: 1230

note: n/a

REBLOGS + COMMENTS >>>> LIKES

content: soulmate au <3!!!! awkward reader & soobs

~~~

what a shitty day.

seriously, nothing has been going your way. this whole day, no, this whole week has just been the worst one of your life. it felt like you couldn't catch a break, like life was just an excuse for you to be thrown around like a dumbass. if karma exists, you must've been the most despicable being on the planet in your last life.

you replayed the scenes of the past week over and over in your head, cringing as your most terrible moments, along with feelings, came flooded back to you- and soon enough, you felt the tears form in your eyes, your breathing already hitching. this is horrible. everything is horrible. you stopped in your path, uncaring about the few people around you, (there was barely anyone anyway- it was almost 10pm) and you sat down on a bench near a shop. finally, you can rest.

you broke down, shoulders shaking as you wiped your tears everything sucks. my life sucks, this day sucks, and god, i suck, so much you were so engrossed in your sadness and self pity that you didn't notice the way the rain stopped falling until you heard a voice next to you. "hey.. what's wrong?"

you jumped and whipped your head to the right to find a very tall, blonde man inches away from you, his umbrella now shielding you from the sky’s tears (if only someone would help with yours, too).

now soobin has never done this before, obviously. he's not a bold guy, he doesn't particularly enjoy talking to strangers, soooo what provoked him to sit next to and greet the [handsome/pretty] person that was sobbing their eyes out and caused him to be completely out of character was completely unknown to him. that being said, he couldn't deny the overwhelming sense of care and connection for someone he had never met. it felt weird.. and incredibly warm.

“i..i..” you tried to speak, looking up at the strangers concerned eyes- but you couldn’t muster any words due to the shock, as well as overwhelming heartache. now, not only because you've just had one of the worst days of your life, but because someone cared. god, you were so emotional.

you scrunched up your faces and covered your face once more, crying more tears of sadness. soobin sat there awkwardly, trying to think of what to do, before settling on placing a hand on your shoulder. is this helping? should i ask them about what happened? i don't wanna overstep my boundaries.. he thought. he carefully and cautiously moved to wrap a hand around your shoulder, almost jumping in surprise when you turned your head and leaned into him.

he slowly maneuvered his umbrella into the crevices of the bench, somehow making it stick up and cover the two of you. minutes went by as you calmed down (and so did the rain), your breath hitching along with the seconds that went by. finally, when you start to regain your senses, you immediately sit up and pull yourself away from the stranger. "i'm sorry…" you wipe your face again, clearly incredibly embarrassed. you couldn't help it, with the magnetic pull you felt towards him.

"no, no, don't be." he scoots forward a bit to look at you more clearly. "it's okay. we're all human…" he hesitates before speaking up again, "do you.. wanna talk about it?"

you look into his eyes and then down at your lap, debating in your head whether or not you should confide in some stranger you'll probably never see or hear from again..

well, if that's the case, would it really do that much harm? your brain is telling you no, but your heart's telling you please, please do. and so, you do. you tell him everything, the events, what led up to it, how it made you feel afterward, the backstory of why it made you feel that way.. and he just sits there, nodding, looking at you so patiently that you just talk and talk, so much that you even run out of things to say.

"wah.." he sighs deeply, running fingers through his blonde hair, turning to look at you. "you've been through a lot." he watches as you purse your lips and stiffly nod your head. a moment pass as he looks out onto the distance before looking back at you. "can i.. can i hug you?"

you look at him with glossy eyes and scrunch your eyebrows upwards, as if you were gonna cry again, nodding as your breath hitched again. "aw," he pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back as you wrap your arms around his torso. "it's okay. you'll be okay." he places his arms on your lower back pulling you in closer to him, your forehead now resting in his shoulder.

soobin hestiantly raises one of his hands and places it at the upper part of your back, gently rubbing his hand in circles. "this will pass. you'll be okay, and one day you'll look back at this day and laugh." you hiccuped. "i promise…" he pauses. "uh.. what's your.. name?" he breathily chuckles at irony of having you in his arms and not knowing your name, and you respond with a curt "[name]." "okay. i promise you, [name]." you nodded as your breath hitched. a few moments passed as he held you in his arms, before he slowly pulled away.

the two of you sat in silence, your arms lingering around him, coming down and letting your arms slowly fall from around his back, down to his arms. he gazes into your eyes just as you do into his. you finally got a good look at the man who's been comforting you for the past seven minutes, and your heart feels like it stops. you take a deep breath, your previous tears drying on your face, and your chest hitching. you feel this sense of intense familiarity, and your heart rates quickly picks up.

the way he looks at you shifts from concern to adoration.

"are you.." you speak. your breath catches in your throat. he finished your sentence for you, "my soulmate?"

"oh my god," your eyes well up once again with tears as the both of you simultaneously engulf each other with much more force and security than before.

"don't cry. don't cry." he says as his voice wavers tears threaten to spill from his own eyes. he's shaking from the revelation. it felt like he's been waiting all his life for this moment. he pulls back to wipe your tears with his thumbs and holding your face with his palms. "i'm so sorry i didn't realize earlier. i-i don't usually talk to people like this, let alone random people on the street, a-and i noticed you when i was walking back home from work, and you just had such a grip on me, even though we've never met," he frowns as a few tears finally escapes from his eyes. "i'm soobin."

you nod fervently. "i'm [name].. but you already know that," you slightly shrug and watch as he smiles at your words. "i'm so happy i finally met you." you hug him again and slightly move from side to side, relishing in the giggles that escape from his throat.

and just like that, your week has been made infinetly better.

[vrnvuld]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i'm not entirely sure but i think late 2015. i was a sophmore in high school, i think i was in my high school's computer room killing time and looking for a new group. i don't remember which tag i was in. it could have been #royal rp but atst i don't think it was. i was sold immediately because i thought it would be awesome to play a finnish royal. i messaged the player who had the finnish princess because she had a wc up for a brother. i was so impatient and i didn't wait for her reply but applied for viveka. then she got back to me and i picked up a second character on my third day or something. i was super excited. that was almost 10 years ago. in those ten years i've graduated high school, worked here and there, acquired my master's degree, and now i'm working for the government. it's been an adventure !

which characters have you written over the years ?

viveka, viljo / vaughn, vanamo, viggo, minenhle, arnauld

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i think i have three: farnauld break up summer, i think it was different from my usual stuff for arnauld and i enjoyed getting to write him at his most manipulative, and then at his most vulnerable. it was interesting and i was very active ! but i think i will have a massive soft spot for viani. it's so embarrassing that i'm just naming ships but idc, i'm an honest bitch. writing viggo as a young adult into an adult adult was really satisfying and i don't think it would have happened without armani / j. and then i have viveka and imogen. i think imogen was the reason why i stuck around at chambordrp. i really think i might have ghosted without the dynamic. it was the first angsty exes plot i EVER wrote and i was very happy with it. if i now read the stuff, i'm probably shed tears of blood because the writing was so bad. but the ship is also the reason why i ever started listening to halsey lmao kgbdkjgb

what about other people's plotlines ?

i really enjoyed reading annexei. there was a lovely amount of angst. i alsoooooo loved the beginning of layslan. it was full of drama and it was fun to follow ( okay i was a bit involved but i wasn't involved a lot ). there's been so many amazing plots and if someone now gave me a list of all the shit we've written together, i wouldn't be able to keep this section short. i will miss the energy :(

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

viveka and arnauld. i think viveka will have a special place in my heart because she is closest to a self insert from all of the characters i've ever written and what happened in her story i sort of learned from ? idk how else to explain it but i feel closest to her and she became a very strong figure in my life despite being fictional. i enjoyed writing her, especially the times when she showed her ugly side. in her i wrote some of my best stuff in the sense that the emotions felt real. arnauld was kind of a caricature so he wasn't that nuanced imo. but i had soooo much fun with him as you could probably see. when i picked him up after a year long break, i was sure i'd lose muse because writing characters in their 40s was not easy in a group with young characters. somehow the group made it work and the political plots also became more important and i could do so much !!! it was fun to write someone truly horrible. someone whose behaviour was disgusting. i am so glad that i was given the opportunities and allowed to write a villain into the group <3

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

this is too difficult !!!! for nostalgia i might choose this one event during chambord that was a trip to paris. it wasn't very eventful but i think... IT WAS SUCH A LONG TIME AGO. i want a piece of that youth.

a plotline that i enjoyed from start to finish would probably be the roman vs romanovs thing. it was complex and it moved surprisingly smoothly. it got dragged out but not as much as it could have gotten. i also loved the short skit when sylvia found the ultrasound pics. it was a funny week. and all of the nye events have been amazing. every first week of the past 8 years have been some of the funniest of my life. i also have a soft spot for the beginning of varbie. it was so natural and i don't think i've written anything like that afterwards. it was us saying yes to each and every idea. i loved their happy moments and their problems. there were times when they felt like real people with real feelings instead of just characters that were used to write a story.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i wouldn't edit anything but like isa said, i'd finish farnauld quicker. i would have loved getting to write a bit of fluffy farnauld. because it's something we never really got a chance to write because even when farnauld was doing well the shadow of tekla and the croys was present. fanni had a lot of issues, arnauld was busy hiding tobias... i'd also give vanamo and valias more attention. i know we could have accomplished more but my muse was flaky.

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

farnauld. i'm embarrassed since i've given it most of my time here at hshq but i still would have liked to write a bit more.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

oooooooh it would have to be some of the crazy muns. like at the time the moments weren't funny or nice but the stories are now. and i think it also brought me and j and others closer to each other akfbdsjgbs evy mentioned honesty hours and i agree with that too ! and i have to give a special mention to naomi. idk which particular thing but she has the best energy <3

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll be here and on discord so don't be afraid to shoot me a message if you wanna write ! but i do think this might be the time for me to retire from tumblr / rp scene.

what else would you like to say ?

i've known some of you longer than some of my best friends. you know a side of me that no one irl does. i don't think i will be able to express how grateful i am for these years and the HOURS we have spent writing together. not everyone gets to experience this and it's been an honor. i've had so much fun and i honestly don't see myself forgetting this place. i wonder what will be the thing in the future that makes me think of something that happened at hshq. this is a very bittersweet moment for me and this honestly feels worse than graduation. hshq was more than a rp group to me and i love you guys <3

[leggerefiore]

Installing cameras in the home for security but it became a bit of a habit for Ingo/Emmet(separately) to watch them idle about at home while on break. Cleaning, cooking, etc. But then when s/o is crying one day on camera, they panic and hurry home thinking they're horribly sad and need comfort but they were just... chopping onions for stew... although, they HAVE missed their beloved husband a lot. Maybe it's time for a much needed vacation...

great request anon. a big fan of this scenario haha

also really wanted to write some doting Emmet soooo

cw: fluff

▲Ingo▼

● Ingo hated to admit that he had taken to using the security camera in such irresponsible ways. At first, it was purchased after a presumed crazed fan began to send in many letters to the Subway Boss before escalating to leaving “gifts” on the doorstep. He, as any responsible, caring husband would, got a security system to help ensure your safety. But… Despite the reasoning for having it being a wholly different reason, he took to using it to check in on you.

● Your day to day without him at home was an unknown to him, so peering into this secret life was something that became a weird pleasure. The camera was pointed from the entryway to record both the living room veranda door and kitchen, but only slightly, so he could see you in both rooms throughout the day. Most of the time was spent messing around in the living room with interspersed chores here and there, something was always playing on the television for background noise. It was something that calmed him. These momentary check-ins left him relaxed between his work tasks.

● This ritual was not something unbeknownst to you. After all, the camera had provided him vital information about a meal before. You did not mind, sometimes even leaving small messages in its line of sight for him. Nothing about it really changed, until, well… One day, he turned on the camera just was he was about to begin the paperwork portion of his day.

● The screen showed the home as usually, but there was a quiet sound that came through the audio. Ingo's heart clenched as the sound of whimpers and hiccups. You were in the kitchen, just out of sight of the camera's line of capture. Leaning over the counter, you clearly were overcome with a strong enough feeling to burst into tears. Ingo threw down his phone and turned to his brother, who had already started his portion of the work. “I-I need to go,” the older twin managed to get out, “Right now.” Emmet gave him an odd look but nodded. Thanking him, he rushed out of the station at an uncommon speed, almost forgetting to clock out.

● The door of his apartment was thrown open after he ran all the way from the station. You jumped from the sudden intrusion, expecting the worst. Instead, you saw a panting Ingo. He stared at you with big eyes. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, causing him to panic more. “Oh, my sweet dearest love, what is wrong? I saw you crying on the camera and rushed home,” he approached you and brought you into a warm embrace. You stood there stiffly, shocked by this all.

● “Ingo, sweetie, I was cutting onions,” you told him. He froze. His silvery gaze met yours deeply. “I was making a beef stew for dinner,” you took his hand softly and brought him into the kitchen. A pot of stew simmered away on the stove. He felt dumbstruck. You were leaning over the counter to cut an onion, not because you were so overcome with emotion. Ingo stepped into the living room and sat on the couch, slightly embarrassed by how rash he had acted. That simply wasn't like him! His cheeks were bright red now. You shook your head and sat down beside him.

● “Ingo…” you cooed at him, wrapping an arm around him and rubbing his arm tenderly, “… Well, now that you mention it, I have been a bit a lonely lately.” He turned to look at you with a gentle expression. “You're a big, busy Subway Boss, so I hate to tell you when I miss you,” you continued. He suddenly grabbed your other free hand and leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. His emotions of pure, unbridled love poured from those metallic seas in his iris.

● “Perhaps… I could arrange some time off from work then,” he spoke with his always slightly loud voice, “Leaving my dearest so lonely is cruel.” You smiled at him and nuzzled your nose to his before going in for a kiss. He pulled you in for a long embrace. You hummed in contentment.

▽Emmet△

○ Emmet stared at the screen with no feelings of awareness about how weird it was to technically spy on you. The security system came after concerns about suspicious people hanging around outside his apartment door when he was not home. A neighbour had reported it to you both, and he quickly grew worried about your safety. Your light-hearted joke about having an army of small yellow spiders as protection had not soothed him. Which is why he checked in on you periodically throughout the day. That, and he was deeply curious about what you did without him there.

○ The camera picked up the living room and partially some of the kitchen, so he was able to observe as you did chores and moved around the home. He could see you occasionally trailing a string toy across the floor as a Joltik chased it, or working to vacuum and panicking after a Joltik accidentally got picked up by the hose. Seeing these little things left him in a strange ease, you were safe and happy. He may admit part of the reason he watched the screens so much was to see you smile. Quiet giggles had drawn eyes on to him as he gazed at his phone with a lovestruck expression.

○ You were not unaware of his habit. He often came home and spoke to you about things he observed through the camera. Especially with the Joltik getting stuck in the vacuum. (The little guy was alright. Just terrified of the cleaning device now.) You even decided to tease him through the camera, leaving out sweets for him to see or endearing messages. Emmet sent you many sad faces through texts about the sweets. Everything about it was ordinary and not of concern, until he turned on the camera when he was doing one last late battle while waiting on the train.

○ He spied you in the kitchen, leaning over a counter just out of the sight of the camera. Emmet listened to the audio carefully. His heart dropped as quiet hiccups came from the device. The trainer entered to a scene of Emmet distressingly calling over the radio that he needed off then. The side-eye glare he got from the twin was something blood-curdling. The Depot Agents watched an absolutely dominating battle from afar, as the Subway Boss clearly wanted nothing to do there. Ingo approved his early leave without hesitation.

○ The door opened with such force that you nearly screamed. Emmet stood in the doorway with worry clear across his face and his hat almost off his head. It was closed behind him as he tackled you into a tight embrace. You awkwardly returned the affection, a bit in shock from his sudden appearance. The twin was a bit sweaty, obviously having run home. Had something happened? “Are you sad?” he asked bluntly, looking into your eyes with desperate eyes. Your confusion only worsened from that.

○ Your brain searched for anything that would have caused him to think that. The irritation still present in your eyes from the onions you had been cutting entered your consciousness. “Emmet, I was cutting some onions for our dinner,” you cupped his face and reassured him, “Come with me.” You took him into the kitchen to see the stew sitting on the warm stove. The skin of the onion was still laid out on the counter, as you had not even had time to clean up with how quickly he had rushed over to you from work. Emmet's smile returned as he pulled away from you to go into the living room. You watched as he stood stiffly and stared blankly out your veranda door. Onions, he thought, it was onions. He did not feel embarrassed. Nope! Not at all. He was just verrrry aware of everything he had done to get here with you.

○ “Emmy,” you called to him sweetly, wrapping your arm around his and leaning against him, “… I have been a bit lonely.” His head whipped over to stare at you instantly, eyes terribly wide and smile twitching. You raised your free hand to his cheek softly. Emmet nuzzled into it softly and freed his arm to pull you into a hug. You knew how he got about the idea of you feeling lonely, especially when it was his “fault.” It always hurt to tell him because of how he chided himself about it. “I missed you a ton… You just adore your work so much, and I love to see you happy…” Emmet shook his head. His forehead rested against yours, as he sighed.

○ “I am taking time off,” he said confidently, “My verrry sweet darling should never feel like that!” He moved to rub his cheek against yours before moving into kisses. You silently apologised to Ingo for the unstoppable force that he was about to meet. Pecking a kiss to your lips, Emmet gave you the sweetest smile he could offer. His hand interlocked with yours. “I will make you happy!” he cooed.

[folkloregirlfriend]

some show recs (idk what you're into, so this is a random collection)

harlots. a based-on-real-events period drama set in the 1750s, entirely female written & directed, about prostitutes attempting to achieve financial security and escape their shitty lives as pieces of meat for men.

downton abbey. period drama set in 1912 about an aristocratic family whose male heir dies on the titanic, leaving them in a position of ruin (daughters can't inherit after all). there IS some romance in this, but it's not the main plot i promise. each season jumps forward in time, so season 1 is titanic, season 2 is wwi, etc. genuinely love this show, i think you'll LOVE sybil, the youngest daughter of the family.

scott and bailey. cop show about two lady cops who solve murders. i don't usually like cop shows but i really like this one, because the two women have such great friendship chemistry.

this is going to hurt. medical dark comedy show based on a real doctor's memoir about his time as a junior/trainee doctor on an nhs obstetrics/gynaecology ward. don't look up spoilers! you know how all tv shows are written like the characters have gone to therapy or been written by people who spend too much time on twitter? and everything is kinda bland and boring because the writers smooth out all the nasty/rude/sharp parts of their characters to make them ~unproblematic~ and it ends up being shit? this is not like that. the main character is so horrible and yet you can't help but love him despite all his flaws. i really think you'll love this.

we are lady parts. comedy mini series about a bunch of muslim women who play in a punk band, looking for a new guitarist. it's a cute little show but it does feel like a first draft and i wish it had been given the budget to be a full series instead.

the gilded age. period drama set in 1880s new york. absolutely NOTHING happens in this show. it's amazing. the basic plot is a young woman (meryl streep's irl lesbian daughter) is orphaned and has to go live with her elderly aunts in new york, who are Old Money and snooty. there is a scene with some shoes that literally haunts me to this day because i have never felt so embarrassed by a fictional character's actions the way that scene made me feel. there are two seasons of old ladies bickering and i gobbled up every single moment. you'll either become unhinged and love it (like me) or be like ??? why did you rec me this ??? nothing is happening ??? and i'm not sure which way you'll go but i figured i'd rec it any way.

oh my god these are soooo good!!!! thank you for sending this ❣️ i don't usually watch shows but i really need to distract myself and these are perfect!

[spacebeyonce]

📚dom's library: may wrap up📚

alright! wrap up for all the books I've read (or tried to read) in may. I was able to read soooo many books (13!!! 13 books!!!) thanks to the libby app and my job letting us listen to stuff through our headphones. I haven't read this many books since high school!

this will be a bit long, because I'm not going to be short about these books, so. bear with me! june's will probably be a smaller list lmao. and I will try my best to be spoiler free in my reviews!

anyway! let's get into it.

5 - 4 ⭐:

👻 how to sell a haunted house by grady hendrix (5⭐)

after the sudden death of her parents, louise has to return to charleston to deal with her parents' estate and her insufferable younger brother mark, who she's been estranged from for years. as they sift through their childhood home, laden with memories and puppets, mark and louise discover that this house has more than the puppets and dolls for them to handle.

lord, this book. I've liked most of grady hendrix's books so far, but this one really got me. I loved this! I had so much fun listening to it! it was giving goosebumps energy and I LOVED that, I was LIVING.

it was funny, it was scary, and it was horribly sad when I didn't expect it to be. when I tell you that I finished this audiobook quietly sobbing at my work desk I am not bullshitting you. how to sell a haunted house is a reminder for why I do not fuck with puppets or dolls.

🌆 if beale street could talk by james baldwin (5⭐)

nineteen years old, clementine (mainly known as tish) is in love with her childhood friend alfonzo (mainly known as fonny), and has recently discovered that she is pregnant with his child. they plan to marry, but then fonny is imprisoned for a crime that he did not commit. with the clock ticking down until the birth of their child, tish and her family work in an effort to clear fonny's name and get him out of jail.

AAAAH!!! this BOOK!!! I had borrowed it on a whim 'cause I'm interested in watching the movie adaptation, but was curious to see how the book went before that. and jesus christ.

this was so.....like when I reached the end, I felt very.....incomplete?? the open ending jarred me a little, but I definitely didn't hate it! I would have liked a concrete ending, a true conclusion, but the uncertainty the book ended on...it felt real. realistic. it stung a bit.

I loved reading tish and fonny fall in love, and my GOD did they fall - they love each other so ardently, so completely!! the devotion they have for each other, my goodness. it definitely stole my breath a few times.

and their families!!! the way most of them went above and beyond to do what they can and get fonny out of jail!! the full, open support they have for tish and her pregancy!! the absolute love and joy her family has at welcoming a new life into the world oh my goddddd. I believe in love y'all, I truly do.

🚢 into the raging sea by rachel slade (5⭐)

on october 1st, 2015, hurricain joaquin struck the bahamas and sank the cargo ship el faro, taking all thirty three lives on board. after interviews with family of the crew, maritime experts, and using the last twenty six hours of audio captured on the el faro's last voyage, rachel slade recounts the final hours of the crew of the el faro and casts a critical light on the maritime shipping industry, and how lives were sacrificed for profit.

okaaaaay, so I mentioned a while back that I get really focused on a certain shipwreck every now and then. for the last couple months, thanks to the well there's your problem podcast, I've been ridiculously fixated on the sinking of the s.s. el faro back in 2015 - a cargo ship that sailed directly into the eye of a cat 3 hurricane and got its shit rocked. when I heard this book mentioned, I had to see if it was available to listen to. and it was!!!

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it takes a lot for me to get into a non-fiction book - and this one had me riveted. this disaster really was just one little mistake after another, until it became a domino effect that they couldn't escape. I think this has gripped me so because it was so preventable. this didn't have to happen! if the ship was in a better state, if the captain pulled his head out of his ass and listened to his crew, if tote maritime company wasn't so fixated on profit that the people working on these ships become collateral, like....!! 🗣️EL PROBLEMA ES CAPITALISMO!!! and fuck climate change!!!

⛪ transcendent kingdom by yaa gyasi (5⭐)

gifty, a sixth year phd student, is taking on the care of her mother, who is so depressed she can't get out of bed. gifty is studying neuroscience, trying to understand how the brain is affected by depression and addiction - for her mother, and for her brother, nana, who died of an overdose after becoming addicted to pain medication. while dealing with this loss and the decline of her mother, gifty is also grappling with her faith, raised in an evangelical household and trying to reconcile all the pain she has lived through with the peace and salvation she was promised through the church.

my review for this book was simply that I felt flayed open. that this book carved my chest open, cracked apart my ribs and peered inside. gifty's thoughts and struggles when it came to christianity were so like my own that I was genuinely shaken. her questions, her doubts, her feelings and hoping and wanting - I've felt all of that, too. all of it!

in gifty I truly see so much of myself. her struggles with religion and faith, and especially the loss of faith in the face of loss. of praying so much, praying so hard for a loved one to get well, to live on, and then it just...not happening. nothing can cut your faith quicker than that.

her relationship with her mother as well like goddamn godDAMN....that same kind of tough love. that same wild devotion to god. that same ability to just say the most cutting, out of pocket shit about you out of NOWHERE....gifty you are stronger than the us marines. doubly so because she also had to deal with ALABAMA. ALABAMA!!! AND A WHITE ASS TOWN TOO!!! STRENGTH!!!!

🦢 the beautiful ones by silvia moreno-garcia (5⭐)

a regency-esque story based in fantasy france with a sprinkle of magic, we follow the stories of antonina beaulieu, hector auvray, and valerie beaulieu as they deal with the grand season and all that entails. antonina, hoping to find love like the ones she's read in stories - and also hoping to outrun the rumors about her due to her telekinetic powers. hector, a telekinetic preformer that has returned to loisail after ten years with one goal in mind: to win back the heart of his first love - the crown jewel of loisail, valerie beaulieu.

when I tell you that this book had me KICKING MY FEET and GIGGLING!!! I AM A HECTOR/NINA TRUTHER, I BELIEVE!! it was so sweet?? and romantic?? and I love a good second chance romance, though it doesn't fall under what that trope usually means. but it was so sweet!! that's all I can say over and over and over, I just. it was love prevailing despite the odds. nina was so bright and earnest and true to herself, and hector had such a quiet sweetness beneath all that melancholy.

and valerie. bro she is so cersei-core I am SICK. the desire to have the power that your name once held, the resentment of having to follow the whims of what's expected of you and not what you want, looking down on other women and holding yourself above them, loving someone so fiercely and madly that it kind of twists into hate like!!! cersei lannister core!!! this woman was NASTY work and I LOVED her.

I do wish that hector and nina's powers were explored a little more? like....what's the magic system. how did these powers happen. are there other people with powers. but it didn't bring down the story for me! I really loved this, I was swooning.

🌊 river woman, river demon by jennifer givhan (4.75⭐)

eva santos moon is a wife, mother, artist - and witch, practicing brujeria and curanderisma in honor of her late mother. eva has hit a low point in her life - inspiration has left her, she's suffering from blackouts and memory issues, and her connection to her magic feels distant. on top of all this, she is haunted by the death of a beloved childhood friend that happened many years ago, and memories of her are stirring when her husband is incarcerated as a suspect for the murder of their friend, eva must do her best to hold her family together and free her husband - even though she doesn't believe he's as innocent as he claims...

this book bro.....this fuckin' book. it was - I loved the mystery! the connection between the death of her friends, past and present. but the main character?? eva??? she drove me up the fucking wall.

she was so deep in her goddamn head it was genuinely wild as a mf. like, when her husband says something that read SO CLEARLY to me that he wanted his wife to BELIEVE IN HIM she's just like 'oh is he accusing me, is he saying I'm the bad guy here' like my sister in christ!!! pull your head out of your ass for five seconds and trust in your man!!! and oh my GOD her man.

jericho is a fine fine fine slice of chocolate cake. he is steady, he is warm and inspiring, hardworking and devoted. he is ten toes DOWN for eva, he is UNSHAKEABLE for her. and she just doubts and doubts and doubts. and I KNOW it's for the character journey. but like bitch if you're gonna mistrust your husband like this then I'LL take him, shit!!

aside from that, this book was SO good. I really enjoyed the mystery plot throughout, and when everything started coming together I was literally screaming in the car at every twist and reveal like broooooo. excellent book. but get your shit together eva.

3 - 2 ⭐:

🎸 we sold our souls by grady hendrix (3.25⭐)

twenty years after the end of metal band durt wurk, former guitarist kris polaski is miserable. her job is terrible, she has no money, no friends, and no music in her. on top of all that, kris gets news that chills her to the bone - terry hunt, her old bandmate and the man who cast his bandmates off to go solo is going on a farewell tour and bringing his band koffin to a close. pushed to finally confront terry and demand answers for his abandonment, kris decides to try and reunite her bandmates, knowing the risk - knowing that they might still hate her, for what she did. but on the way, kris finds out that terry might have given away more than just durt wurk's sucess in his effort to rise to the top.

okay so like most of the grady hendrix books I've read so far, this was good! but it definitely wasn't the best of his books for me. that crown is deserved for how to sell a haunted house. but we sold our souls is a pretty fun romp, that definitely had some chilling moments that made you paranoid right along with kris. you couldn't trust the people around you. you never knew who - or what - might be watching.

and there was a part 68% in that was so upsetting that I just closed the audiobook and hopped out the libby app. like I was done for the day, shit was rough.

but at the end of the day, this did end up being pretty mid for me. I also did not appreciate all the microagressions made about black artists and black music. could have done without that!

🌱 parable of the sower by octavia butler (3.25⭐)

in the distant future of 2024, the united states has crumbled due to climate change. resources are scarce, good water is hard to find, and people are willing to do anything and everything to make sure they can survive. at fifteen, lauren olamina lives in a community with her family, gated off and secluded from the outside dangers. lauren also struggles with hyperempathy, taking on the pain of others to a debilitating degree, and though their community is surviving, lauren knows that the security they have made for themselves won't last, and that their community needs to be ready for when that day comes. and in her efforts to find hope in such a hopeless world, lauren tries to figure out god - and creates a new faith that she believes will one day lead them to the stars.

this book was fucking ROUGH bro like.....truly on some mad max shit where it's every man for themselves. honestly I got a little tired of it a little over halfway 'cause like. idk I just can't believe that people would inherently fall back to violence in these conditions. that we'd all do what we can to help each other...I dunno. but shit was bleak! and there was a lot of sexual assault of women and girls, which I didn't appreciate. once again, probably because I cannot believe that humanity as a whole would just be so violent. but hey!

also - that relationship that happened at the end?? you know the one. what the hell was that. what is it with octavia butler and these damn age gaps jesus christ.

all in all, it was a solid middle of the road read for me. it was a little disorienting to read this in 2024, but still enlightening somewhat. idk if I'll read the next book any time soon though.

🍎 ripe by sarah rose etter (2.5⭐)

one year into her job at a startup in silicone valley, cassie is struggling; work eats away at her, long hours surrounded by coworkers and supervisors that look down and disrespect her. she barely has friends and she's making it by the skin of her teeth in an expensive city that she hates. she's lonely - but never alone, her constant, unending companion a black hole that's been with her since childhood, ebbing and flowing depending on her anxiety and depression. when her job starts demanding actions of the dubiously ethical variety and she suddenly finds herself in the family way, cassie has to decide if a life in san francisco is truly what she wants.

besties I fucking hated this book. it was literally just seven hours of this woman bitching and moaning and woe is me-ing but not really making any changes until the last fucking second. she thinks she's better than the people she works with, but still marches to their drum, pulling some pretty sketch shit against a rival startup and bringing a pakistani man into this bullshit company, knowing that he's going to get screwed, all while playing the world's smallest goddamn violin for herself. ain't that just like a white woman, smh.

and I'm sure that's the point of this book. I understand! this is supposed to be a critique on capitalism, on hustle culture, on work and how it drains the life out of you and demands so much of you only to give so little in return. I get it! truly!

but baby I am not connecting with this white woman languishing in silicon valley, throwing a whole pity party for herself but doing nothing to better her situation. I am a firm believer of hitting the fucking bricks when a situation is ass. there are better jobs out there with better coworkers in more affordable places. these people don't care about you. Real Winners Quit.

the ending was also ambiguous as a mf and I don't care enough about cassie to feel a type of way about it. my good sis, go to therapy. you can't cocaine your way out of everything.

....now I feel like even two stars is generous. hm.

0️⃣ unrated:

⛵ deep as the sky, red as the sea by rita chang-eppig

after the death of her pirate husband by portuguese sailors, shek yeung has to act fast in order to retain her power over the red pirate fleet. agreeing to marry her late husband's second in command and bear a child, shek yeung also has to contend with greater threats as china's emperor increases efforts to remove pirates entirely from the south china seas.

this book is p much based on the life of ching shih, one of the baddest female pirates to ever do it. the story was tense, with a lot of political intrigue when it came to the pirates and the different colored fleets. shek yeung is a boss ass protagonist, a woman that was made hard because of the bullshit life threw at her, but she kept her wits about her and made the best decisions she could to come out on top - and alive.

I think if I would rate this after the fact I'd give it a solid 4.75⭐! a very easy read, but tw for sexual assault - that is a big part of some of the main characters' backstories (shek yeung and the second in command specifically). the ending was a little sad, but all in all an enjoyable book.

🍄 sorrowland by rivers solomon

vern is fifteen and seven months pregnant when she escapes from the religious compound she was made to call home, fleeing deep into the woods for safety. she births her children there, and plans to raise them wild and free - but there are changes happening to her body. changes that she can't explain. and to understand the changes and protect her children, vern will have to return to the one place that she had desperately wanted to escape.

this one, oh man. what a fuckin' ride it was. vern is one of those characters that are very...prickly. she's always got her defenses up and is ready to snap at you quick fast in a hurry, and I love her. she was wild, and her twin babies are adorable - and their names are very interesting haha!

there's also a sapphic romance, which was really sweet! I was concerned for a while that I had run into another couple with a huge age gap, but it wasn't! thank fuck. parable of the sower was enough.

the story has a lot going on - examination of religion and how it can be used to exploit people that have been left behind by the world, a bit of supernatural scifi, human experimentation, and finding love and community and connection despite it all, despite trying so damn hard to make yourself an island. if I rated it now....4.25⭐

🌕 daughter of the moon goddess by sue lynn tan

all her life, xingyin has been raised in secret; living on the moon with her mother, the goddess chang'e, who was exiled to the moon for stealing an elixir of immortality, her existence has been hidden from the celestial emperor - but one can't stay hidden forever. when her existence is discovered, xingyin is forced to leave behind the only home she has ever known, and ends up in the celestial kingdom. alone and afraid, xingyin decides that she will do whatever it takes to return home - and to free her mother from her lunar prison.

I read this book because I am a sucker for pretty covers and BOY does this one deliver. I had a fun time with this book, though the prose did get a little heavy at times. but I think this is the author's first book ever? so I gave a little grace. it wasn't crazy distracting or anything lmao.

but whew! this book had a lot going on. the magic system of this world was pretty fuckin' neat, and it was cool to see xingyin find her footing in this new world and do her best to achieve her goals! I was rooting for her. there is, unfortunately, a love triangle, and it was annoying, but mostly because I am too old for that shit lmao. I was also ridiculously annoyed at how she spend like 20% of the book being a hardass to one of the love interests because of something that happened OUT OF HIS CONTROL and is kinda connected to HIS JOB but whatever. whatever!

I'll probably read the sequel as well, but not anytime soon! until then, my rating now would be....4⭐

🌿 the daughters of temperance hobbs by katherine howe

connie goodwin is a professor at a university in boston, specializing in america's history with witchcraft. a successful scholar, connie is more connected to the history of witchcraft in america than she'd like to admit - a direct descendant of a woman that was tried as a witch during the trials in salem. a series of events force connie to realize that her partner's life may be in danger, a curse tracing through her bloodline, killing any man that falls in love with a woman in her family. with time slowly running out, connie must confront her family's past, and solve the mystery behind the curse that has plagued her family for generations.

oh this one was FUN, y'all. I ate this book up quick! and apparently it's the second book in a series?? I had no idea! it stands well enough on its own that honestly I don't think I need to read the first one to understand what's going on. the main character, connie, tried my goddamn patience lmao. she is the prime example of people that are so deep in academia that their relationships kinda suffer for it. like talk to your man girl!! talk to him about this damn curse!!! and the [redacted]!!! you can't just think that he can READ YOUR MIND and just KNOW like GIRRLLLLLL.

speaking of her man, sam is just a delight. truly a darling. by the end of the book I was just like god when will it be my turn. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??? GOD

I also really liked the flashbacks to women in connie's family line, they were all cool as hell - especially temperance! she was neat.

and zazie.....the only woman of color in a sea of white nonsense. she is stronger than any us marine because she is a woman of color doing grad school in a predominantly white college. I know she has been through things that would make connie's hair turn white. you deserve everything you want sis, you truly do.

and I thiiiink.....4.5⭐, if I rated this book now.

🕯️ black candle women by diane marie brown

the montrose women have been living contentedly in a california bungalow for years, keeping mostly to themselves. their lives have been calm - until the youngest montrose, nickie, brings home a boy and throws their world into disarray. because the boy is a reminder. a reminder of a secret that they have kept from nickie for years - a curse. a curse that if a man falls in love with a montrose woman, then they're destined to die.

this is basically in the same vein as the daughters of temperance hobbs but with black women and black magical culture. and I LOVED it. all of the women in the montrose family - augusta, victoria, willow, and nickie - are so vibrant. they all butt heads, of course, but at the end of the day there's still love.

victoria was a little triggering at times lmao mostly because she really reminded me of my own mom at times, and LORD do we butt heads. it was worse when I was a teenager, so I really felt for nickie when her mother started tightening that leash. and willowwwww oh my god I loved herrrr. she was so chill and so full of love. and augusta! she may not be able to physically speak, but that doesn't stop her from speaking her mind!

I absolutely recommend this - if you want a story about generations of black women working through misunderstandings, beating a curse that has dogged their heels for years, and loving each other despite the bumps along the way, then read this!! read it!! if I rated this now, I think I'm giving it a solid 5⭐

❌ DNF:

💀 gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir

reason for DNF: the writing made me wanna die a little? it was very like.....if you like homestuck and think it's still funny, then this book will work for you. it did not work for me. also, all the fucking names were so hard to keep track of. but mostly it was just the writing - all those quips! I am not a teenager, this shit isn't funny to me anymore please relax.

🏡 the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson

reason for DNF: I just didn't like the audiobook 😭, I'm gonna try and check out a physical copy when I can...I think I'll like it more if I'm actually READING it.

and that's it! that's my may wrapup! this was more work than I expected, whew. but! if anyone gives these books a read, or has read them before, let me know your thoughts!

[muffinpink02]

okay like a virgin comment time, sorry if this is way too much or i sound like a broken record, im horrible at explaining what im thinking

first thing i love about this fic is how sweet and gentle lucy is with less throughout the whole thing, making sure she’s comfortable, also love how she’s firm but in a nice way about alessia making sure she’s communicating her boundaries

i love how you can tell how lucy’s a bit nervous the whole way through the fic, even though she’s the more confident one out of the two

im obsessed with the way alessia gets more confident as the fic goes on, like at the beginning she’s so nervous but by the end she’s leaning more into her dominant/top side

THE PRAISE i am obsessed. it’s clear that both the gals have a thing for being praised (me too tbf)

i love how there’s like funny moments all throughout the fic, makes it less serious

OH MY GOD the edging and the squirting was one of my favourite parts, i don’t know how to explain it but the way less was unsure of what was going on and lucy was reassuring her but also being like 🥵🥵

i love how there’s a recurring theme of lucy taking care of alessia if that makes sense, as you know im a sucker for the soft smut so i love

the cute little aftercare bit was so sweet

lucy’s abs ☺️☺️🥵

obsessed with you and your work xoxoxo 🫶🫶

You beautiful, beautiful little human! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I can’t express enough how happy this makes me!!

1) thank you! I really wanted Lucy to be seen as completely gentle and respectful. As the older/experienced person, it only felt right that she didn’t see this as a thing for her but just to help Alessia out.

2) YES! Again, I wanted to take that cocky side away, because no mater how experienced you are in bed I imagine someone asking you to show them how it works is a bit scary. Even if you are Lucy bronze

3) at the time wish I actually made her more confident, as I wasn’t planning on making a second one I stuffed it all into one story, but I think for part 2 I’ll change that up a little

4) again I wish I did more. You can never have too much praise 🫠

5) yesss. Again, sex isn’t always straight forward, it can have its embarrassing moments 😂

6) hahaha the squirt scene! I liked writing this. I want to give Alessia more little bits like this in the next story

7) SOFT SMUT FOR THE WIN! Also again, Lucy I imagine would kind of be like that? Like rough, but also checking in constantly 😂

8) again, I wish I added more after care, but this was an early story for me

9) agreed. Lucy’s abs 🫡🫡🫡

Thank you SO much for going out of your way to tell me your thoughts, what you liked, what bits you picked up on. These kind of messages make writing soooo worth it!!! Don’t ever feel like you’re bugging a writer with your messages because I guarantee if they saw a message like this it would make their day/week maybe even month. Thank you again you gorgeous little bean. I appreciate this sooooo much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[teddybeartoji]

6, 14, 21, 28 for moji and mihime pretty please :3

SALEMM!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEETHIS IS SO FUN!!! ILYY THANK YOU FOR DROPPING BY MY LOVE:33

FOR MIJI

6. what was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during and/or after sex?

me sobbing after it:////// not crying, SOBBBBINGGGG. like i just got so overwhelmed yk?? he fucks so good and so deep and he's so heavy and he's like everywhere and it felt heavenly and then it just happened... i mean he didn't think it was embarrassing, he was super fucking worried at first actually lmao. but then he gave me the aftercare i needed aaand he actually didn't tease me for it either. (too much at least)(i am very grateful)(bc i still feel a little embarrassed abt it..)

oh and for him!!! in the beginning of our relationship, he came in his pants:3 and obviously i don't think that's embarrassing but ohhh he was hiding his face and stammering out an apology and yeahhh:(((( i just reassured him that it's okay and that i think it's hot hehe

14. what's something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?

just when i'm all over him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can get very clingy and touchy and i love just climbing onto his lap with my hands around his neck and just pressing kisses to his jaw and to his cheeks and lips and throat and adam's apple aaaand that gets him all squirmy and veeeery very handsy hehehehe:33

21. how does your f/o taste?

kinda bitter and liike salty?? bUTTTTTT DON'T GET ME WRONG I AM NOT PICKYY I AM EATING HIM UPP ALWAYS AND FOREVERRRR:333

28. how wrecked/spent does your f/o look by the time the two of you are done? do they have a dazed look on their face? completely disheveled hair? chest heaving for breath?

i answered this here too buttt!!! THE ANSWER IS ALL OF THE ABOVEEE!!!!!!!!!!! HE GETS SUPER FUCKED OUTT!!!!!! like yea ofc i'm way worse lmao but it's not like he's just sitting there all ready to go on with his day/night. he's tired, he's borderline dozing off on top of me or under me. oh and he runs sooo fucking hot. like the blanket isn't even on the bed anymore and he warmth stays in his body for soo long like it takes him a while to cool down. but hhhhhhh he looks sooo good like this:3333333333333 i luv him

FOR MIHIME

6. what was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during and/or after sex?

.... when i couldn't get the strap on correctly. sighh that was horrible. like i put my leg in the wrong hole bc i was just so excited yk??? and i was red like a damn tomato................... hhhhhhhhhhhh i hated that. she laughed super fucking sweetly though:(( and then rushed to help me out

she got suuuuuper super embarrassed when we kindagot caught lmao. i didn't mind that at all but ohh my god she looked like she was abt to puke. poor girl:((( it didn't help that i... kept teasing her abt it too lmao she kinda hates me i think..

14. what's something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?

thigh and tummy kisses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's soooo weak for them and it's the cutest fucking thing in the worldd!!!!!!! she gets super flustered and sooosooo twitchyy and sooooooo fucking wet - she's pushing my head away buuut in reality she's not even trying like there's absolutely no strength behind her shoves lmao she's adorable i love her so much

21. how does your f/o taste?

sounds super basic but... like heaven ok. she's so fucking sweet??? i didn't even know that was possible??? idk she has a magical pussy alright<333333333

28. how wrecked/spent does your f/o look by the time the two of you are done? do they have a dazed look on their face? completely disheveled hair? chest heaving for breath?

SHE LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRETTYYY:((((((( HAIR SPLAYED OVER THE PILLOWS AND THE MATTRESS, CHEEKS N NOSE N LIPS N EARS N N NECK N CHEST ALLL RED AND BLUSHYY:(((( she's panting and squirming and she's hiding her face:((( she looks soooso fucked outtt wahhhhhhhhhhhh she's perfect!!!

spicy selfship asks

[hermanunworthy]

haiiiii... you asked for hermie asks so erm. what do you think hermie was like in chaparral (is that how its spelled?)

i imagine that as herman he was a regular good student- kind of uninteresting, not exactly memorable. almost forgettable.. chaparral feels like the more well funded, a bit more prestigious (like they get high grades or smth) but still a bit dull... this is purely to contrast with hemie's theatre kidness. yknow. But idr if it was portrayed differently (and i dont know how american highschools work) so uh what do you think!

hiya i was gonna respond to this last night but i ended up getting a massive headache so i had to go to bed early 😞

this is a REALLY interesting thing to think about, and something ive been trying to figure out! i think my idea of chaparral hermie/herman mostly aligns w urs. i imagine they really tried hard to blend in while also internally feeling a desperate need to stand out. their inclination for mischief probably manifested itself in more subtle, trivial ways, like cheating on tests and sneaking into classrooms and such. little things that wouldnt get them found out by their parents (bc they probably did before and it screwed things up for herman), but could still give them that satisfaction of doing something they werent supposed to. as a kid, i think they were more of a troublemaker, and probably didnt get along w other kids, bc they liked to pull childish pranks and maybe be a little rude due to low empathy (and ofc their scamminess and demonness agkdf). this probably concerned their parents greatly, and led them to be more strict w them, and for herman to conform more (aka just become more secretive. u know how kids are)

the way i imagine their physical appearance is like.... very normal and dull. black hair like their parents, shorter than they wouldve liked, no makeup, a manageable amount of acne to make them look like a regular kid, but not enough to seem gross. sucky bond levels of Average High School Kid, as much as they wanted to stand out. they tried to look as much like their parents kid as possible, even though it wasnt what they really wanted.

when they discovered their love for dc, they felt embarrassed about it and hid it from their peers and their parents, afraid that if they knew how intense and weird their interest was, they would have it taken away from them (BIGGG projecting here guys). they stole comics from the school library and hid them in their backpack. they wanted all kinds of dc merch and to go to comic con soooo bad but they kept it all to themself to the point of wanting to explode. their special interest was one thing nobody found out about, thankfully. amazingly

now. in terms of the mascot costume prank. what im really wondering is.... how much was the rest of the school on board w it? if it wasnt something herman did for the school itself, how was normal aware that it was something being planned? maybe... im thinking.... herman was like.. anonymously antagonizing the school and creating conflict between the two schools for shits and giggles. in my mind, herman was jealous of how san dimas students got to be so openly WEIRD and became.. a little obsessed w that school. ofc as soon as they saw that the school was doing joker as its play that year, their dc autism brain activated and they made their plan to infiltrate the school. doing tons of research on it, especially on the theatre department anddd the mascot!! bc they heard that normally oak swallows garcia was the WEIRDEST OF ALL. so this was not only a fun scam thing but a weird jealousy thing to get back at this kid they didnt even know for getting to be what they were never allowed to be. san dimas/teen high gave them a chance to be the person they had been born to be, and i think thats wonderful <3 (even though it led them to horrible danger and also to break a poor undeserving kids heart)

so! this ended up being more than i thought i had to say. but isnt that always how it is w me and hermie.... tldr i think chaparral herman had to mask a lot and hated it. thanks for letting me ramble gskdj !!

[singbluesxlver]

I suddenly remembered this movie that I saw about two years ago called The Lost City, where Sandra Bullock is a famous writer who has this kind of romance adventure saga and somehow ends up being kidnapped in the middle of the jungle and the model that appears in the covers of her books playing the protagonist of them travels there to save her. or something like that. I don't remember much from the movie BUT one scene in particular came to my mind and I thought...why not make it ghostsoap?

please don't expect too much from this, english's not my first language but since i have a kind soul i´ll take the risk so that tumblr users who dont speak spanish can understand and enjoy (or not) the ghostsoap scenarios that i came up with 👍

soooo

So far Johnny had managed to escape from Graves (the psycho billionaire who had read all his books and decided it was a great idea to kidnap him) and as much as it pained him to admit it, he couldn't have done it without Simon's help. Now the two of them were lost in the middle of the jungle and neither knew more than the basics of survival.

He would have liked to keep looking for a way out but night began to fall and with it came a soft but constant cold breeze, so it would be better for them to choose a nice spot to spend the night and get some sleep.

Johnny was struggling to make a fire that would give them some light and warmth. After a couple more failed attempts, he pulled back and groaned in frustration.

“We need something more flammable, everything is so wet... What do you have in your backpack?” He asked Simon but began to rummage through it before receiving any response. He found a small bottle and read the label. “Eucalyptus and rosemary oil? I guess it can be useful…”

Johnny dumped the entire contents onto a couple of branches, which soon caught fire. 

“Wait, what are yo-” But it was too late for Simon to stop him.

“Look! I did it! I made fire!” He was very proud of his achievement, their hopes of surviving the night increased.

“Very impressive…”

“Right?”

Simon only responded with a subtle smile before turning away to remove his shirt. Johnny nearly choked on his own saliva at the sight in front of him. A few hours before, thanks to a silly accident, he had seen him completely naked, there was nothing he hadn't seen before, so he didn't understand the reason for his own reaction. He had been caught off guard, it was just that, he thought. But it didn't take long for him to notice something that snapped him out of his thoughts and alarmed him a little.

“Your back... Are you okay? it doesn't look good…” Simon's back was covered in a rash and it seemed to itch so much Johnny didn't understand how he wasn't tearing his skin off by now. 

“It's nothing... That's why i don't usually get into the water, my body reacts like this…” Simon replied, a little uncomfortable, turning around to look at him.

“Oh... Do you have anything for it, like some ointment or something?” 

“Yeah I do... Well, I did... It was in a little bottle…” He was staring at Johnny's hands holding the empty oil bottle.

“Oh... It was this... god, I'm sorry, Si.” He realized with embarrassment.

“'S okay”

No it wasn’t, and Johnny was going to make up for it. Quickly he went back to digging through the backpack to find a pack of face masks. He decided not to ask about it. “Wait, come here... I think we can do something with this.”

Simon looked confused but without saying anything he walked over and sat next to him.

“Turn your back on me” Johnny asked, being quickly obeyed. “This can be a bit cold…”

His suspicions were confirmed as soon as he felt a chill run down Simon's spine as he began to gently place one of the masks on his back. “Sorry.”

“Maybe this is how ‘Ghost’ should die.” Simon joked, referring to the protagonist of Johnny's books. “Horrible eczema outbreak... its so sexy.” 

Johnny laughed at that. “Oh I can make it work.”

“All right then, how would you write that? Delight me.”

He didnt hesitate to accept the challenge and rapidly began to put into words the scenario that Simon was proposing to him. “Hm... Warmed by the fragant fire…”

“Starting strong…”

“Soap's (Ghost’s love interest in his books) hands explored the... the contoured scenery of Ghost's body... Familiar terrain made new and exciting with every scarlet rim” Johnny's voice as he narrated the scene that they had just created together, was slow and soft, as were the movements that his hands made on Simon's back.

“And it didn't uh... didnt turn him off?” There was a trace of melancholy in his tone.

“No... Because with every cardinal ridge, Soap discovered another letter in the language that only their bodies spoke” Johnny could feel Simon's body slowly beginning to relax.

“Hmm… You know what their bodies said?” 

It only took two seconds for Johnny to reply. “Take me, take me…” He said almost in a whisper .“How's that?” 

“It’s… It’s good” Simon muttered and began to turn around to face him.

“Your back, i mean, hows your back” Johnny chuckled nervously.

“Oh, no, yeah, i also meant my back” Simon responded awkwardly. Both of them cringed a little.

There was an awfully awkward silence before Johnny stood up. “okay... im gonna go rest a bit... you'll be okay?”

“yeah i'll be fine…” 

[flowerslut]

I'm sooooo excited for one fell swoop!!! i loved loved loved the snippets! do you already know when you are going to post it?? also, could you give us a context about the story?

if you have more snippets i wouldn't complain yk

ahhhh! this makes me so excited! I'm also sosososo excited to finish and edit and share it!!! I always laugh thinking about this post where I shared pieces of the old draft for it (scroll to the bottom to read it on the reblog) and this specific thing I said back in 2019 makes me laugh:

it might not be for another decade but a girl would like to return to this idea! maybe!!! she’d have to rewrite the #yikesheavy one-shot first. but like. you never know..... i’ll hit y’all up again when i’m in my 30s.

well jokes on me because I turned 30 this year and have 70k of the first draft written now lmfao. #yikesheavy one-shot included. I have NO clue when I'll be posting it but not a single piece of it is going up on Ao3 or FF until the entire thing is finished and polished to perfection baby!!!! I will eventually post the first chapter of it on tumblr exclusively sometime in the next several months (yes even before I finish) but not until I throw a few more tens of thousands of words onto the 1st draft first 🤪🤪🤪

[context + a special lil treat under the cut! 😌]

I summarize the gist of the story fairly well in this answered ask from october, so it's just as I explain it there.

when the story starts we meet jasper, a 21-year-old freshly-relapsed addict who is sprinting towards rock bottom. this girl, alice, quite literally stumbles onto the scene. she's a rude little amnesiac and the most well-off homeless girl jasper's ever met (not that he has a lot to go off of). very quickly jasper finds himself stuck trying to keep this damn girl from getting herself killed while he barely wants to be alive himself. it oozes codependence! unhealthy relationships! and they make just! about! every! bad decision you can make in their positions! it's great honestly. they're having a horrible time but I'm having a fantastic time writing it and it's pretty much a super-long rewrite of the first twilight fic I ever wrote back in high school! 🤩

if we're lucky I'll be able to split my time between writing this fic and writing roots and hopefully at least one of them will be done and ready for posting by summertime!! no promises, but fingers crossed! 🤞🤞🤞

anyways here's a tiny snippet from chapter 8 since this ask just got me soooo excited to get some writing done this winter!!! enjoy!!!

---------------------------------------------

It was as he was rearranging Alice’s clothes on his arm when someone smacked him on the back of the shoulder. He stepped forward, dropping the clothes to the ground and ducking. Spinning quickly, he pulled his fists closer to his face, readying himself.

“Relax, fuck!” A man stood a few feet away, hands lifted in front of him in surrender. “I didn’t even hit you that hard.”

“Peter,” Jasper gasped, shocked to see his friend. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, motherfucker,” usually Peter’s tone was good-natured but today it held a hint of ice. “You’ve been ignoring my calls all week.”

“My phone’s been off.” He glared, straightening himself back up. He felt a little embarrassed at reacting so severely to a clap on the back, but since getting back into town a few nights ago, he’d been especially anxious. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw your car outside. Why are you in Kohls? And,” he glanced around Jasper, his jaw going slightly slack. “Are those women’s clothes?”

“I’m shopping with a friend,” Jasper growled, turning his back to the white-blonde man and picking the clothes back up. “What do you want?”

“Just checking up on you, God,” he defended irritably. “You fell off the face of the fucking planet when you got fired from Paul’s. Forgive me for fearing the worst.”

Jasper glared down at the pile of clothes as he shuffled them back onto his arm. He hated that Peter—the only person who really knew him—would apparently just know how he’d react to news like that.

“I’m fine.” He lied.

“Then why’d Charlotte see you pulled into Maria’s driveway last Friday?”

Fuck.

“I thought you weren’t in contact with her anymore,” Peter accused, his voice low.

Jasper understood the man’s anger.  Being caught seeing her again was a shameful thing. And knowing that Peter knew about it made him feel worse. The self-hatred that fell over him in that moment was almost suffocating.

“Those aren’t for her are they?” Peter asked, voice still hard as he stared at the clothes Jasper held.

He turned back around and shook his head. There was nothing more he could really say. He was embarrassed. “Are you going to lecture me?” He asked, finally looking his only real friend in the eye.

“Depends,” he folded his arms. “How high are you right now.”

“I’m not,” he muttered. He wasn’t going to admit the fact that he wished he were, because that was a given.