#and I dont want to make people worry about me if I'm suddenly gone for months at a time (if this comes to pass)

[carnation-damnation]

A hiatus, or semi-hiatus, of sorts.

Trigger warnings for cancer and parental death.

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[ladymirdan]

Warning, fandom rant.

I was gonna piggyback ride off Tagedezorns post about falling out of love with the fandom.

Dont get me wrong, I still fucking LOVE 40k.

Im having a great time painting my minis, reading the lore, reading and talking with the BL authors on twitter or talking the ears off the staff in my local GW (don't worry, they love it, and they have some fantastic HC’s too!)

But the rest of it is sadly losing its appeal for me as well, and it saddens me to see other fan artists or writers feeling the same, I thought it was just me.

When I first started to become active in the shipping fandom about a couple of years ago it was fantastic. I felt so welcome and wanted, I had never gotten a reception like that in any fandom before. I even faced my fear and started writing fanfiction, and people seemed to love it.

But the last months/year it feels like it's all gone. As if Tumblr has died, it feels like I'm shouting into the void. (I have a few people who still interact on my posts and I see you and I love you). But I have eightdoubled my followers last year, but that hasn't resulted in any more interaction, other than a few more likes. But to be fair, likes does nothing.

Im not an influencer or a content creator, and I have zero aspirations to become one. That is why I stopped doing tiktoks. I do not want to chase trends or algorithms, I want to be unhinged about my blorbos and see people being unhinged about their blorbos in turn.

I love the intense passion fandom can have, even when it's not a character I'm personally into.

I really don't want Tumblr to die. I have tried Discord and it was the most alienating and disheartening experience I've had since like high school.

When I first tried it out it was soo much fun, but as time went on, more and more people who seemed to like me stopped posting on there, and more and more whenever I posted I just got straight up ignored.

I could post in a channel that had been dead for weeks, and suddenly people started posting about other things, everyone ignoring what I wrote. If it happened once or twice I wouldn't have bothered, but a dozen or more times? It just fucking sucks. I noticed how it started affecting my mental health, trying to reach out and talk to people, but just being talked around and over. So I just stopped posting.

If someone doesn't like me on Tumblr I won't notice or get sad, but seeing it happen in real-time just fucking sucks.

And also, on Tumblr there is always the off chance that your post gets necromanced. That just doesn't happen on Discord.

And another thing that has happened a lot is I write a fic or a Tumblr post. It gets zero interaction, and I'm like “oh I guess no one is interested about that,” and then I see that someone has just reposted my fic/post in a discord and people are geeking out over it over there.

I'm not a paid artist/writer. I do what I do because I want to geek out over something, preferably with someone else. But I effectively become removed from my art. People are discussing it, just not with me.

Dealing with being unliked as a person fucking sucks. Especially when it's supposed to be your hobby-fun-time. And it is making me not want to post stuff anymore.

[z0mbiewh0re]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔FICTOBER𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 .

Day one: corn maze.

Summary: you get lost in a corn maze. But dont you worry your pretty little head about it. Youre not alone (>ᴗ•).

Warnings: reader getting called bunny. reader getting called bitch. Slight choking. Slight hair pulling. Dum/Sub dynamic.

"Do you seriously think this is a good idea?"

One of your friends asked, looking at the big shield from the corn maze.

"Is anything we do a good idea?"

You ask back raising your eyebrows.

"Do you remember when we went to a escape room? We were Stuck in a room for 1 hour. From the beginning!"

Your friend answered making you laugh.

"Come on its gonna be fun!"

You tried to convince them until they sigh.

"Fineeee but if we dont get out its on you!"

You roll your eyes.

"Yeah whatever come on."

You said as you two walked into the corn maze.

You and your friend continued walking through the corn maze while they told you some new gossip. Actually, you were pretty sure that you wouldn't be able to get out without the help of a navigation device anyway because your sense of direction wasn't really the best, apart from your friend. but you could try, right? what could happen? That was exactly what you thought before your friend suddenly wasnt there anymore and now you were alone. You called out your friend's name a few times hoping they were joking but they didn't answer. so you took your phone out of your pocket to call them. If you had previously thought about the fact that you had no network in a huge corn maze in the middle of the country, they would definitely have picked up. But they didnt. What a surprise.

you now had 2 options. Make a emergency call and tell the officers that you are lost in a corn maze and cannot find your friend. very embarrassing. or walk through the corn maze until you find either help or the exit. creepy. But it wasnt dark by now so less creepy. so you decided to keep walking after all you can still call 911 in an emergency. Now you've been walking through the damn corn maze for 10 minutes and you weren't in the mood anymore. After the 10th dead end you just snorted in annoyance and sat down on the floor. A short break doesn't hurt. you thought. Before a male voice suddenly sounded behind you, which also sounded quite familiar to you.

"got lost?"

The voice asked as you abruptly stood up and turned around.

"Now now. Don't look at me so scared, bunny. I won't hurt you."

Rafe Cameron was by far the most annoying person on the planet and now he just happens to be in the same corn maze as you, which was OUTSIDE of Outer Banks?! coincidence? I dont think so.

"What are you doing here?"

You asked him as he walked closer to you.

"The same as you. Looking for the exit."

He said calmly as a grin appeared on his face.

"Exactly. A Cameron who could theoretically buy his own shitty corn maze is chilling outside of Outer Banks, alone. I believe you."

You said a little condescendingly, which he apparently didn't like; the grin that had just been on his face now fell.

"Nobody talks to me like that. Nobody, and especially not a worthless little bitch like you."

He said, grabbing your chin. You looked at him a little shocked before slapping his hand away.

"You're a psycho..."

You just mumbled as you stroked your red chin.

"I'm about to become a psycho if you don't give me the respect I deserve."

He said as he grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it. He placed a small kiss on your chin and grinned like before. you were confused, what did he want from you of all people? you never really had anything to do with each other. You went to his parties every now and then and saw him at the country club, but otherwise you passed him by. suddenly you received a mental flash. your friend is gone. not a soul watching. just you and rafe alone. He is a murderer and you are his next victim. Now you looked up at him anxiously, hoping to find something in his eyes that would support your suspicions.

"Now are you going to be a good bunny and obey me? or do I have to find another way?"

He asked, soothing the grip of your hair. another way?...HE WANTS TO KILL YOU!

"please don't kill me!"

you blurted out making him looking at you puzzled.

"...kill you? What are you talking about?"

he asked confused. okay...maybe he doesn't want to kill you after all. you really shouldn't have watched the maze yesterday...

"but my friend-"

you wanted to start again but he interrupted you.

"The person you always come to the parties with? already out of the maze saw them walking out."

He said and you let out an annoyed huff. this traitor. They just left you alone because they were scared. It's probably time to find new friends.

"and besides...why would I kill such a cute bunny like you?"

He murmured, pressing another kiss to your chin. the guy constantly contradicts himself. You were just a worthless little bitch and now you're a cute bunny?

"Come on...you gonna be a good bunny for me?"

He asked as he ran a hand through your hair. something about him was so attractive it was frightening. it was like his presence alone was pure manipulation. You nodded slowly as his grin widened. He leaned down towards you and as if you had lost complete control of your own body, you gave yourself to him completely, leaning against him as he pressed his lips against yours. His hands roamed over your body, one rested on your neck and squeezed lightly while the other rested on your lower back and pressed you closer to him. Rafe Cameron was the biggest asshole and yet the best kisser you knew. it felt so wrong and yet so good. and if you were honest with yourself then you would also admit that you want more. more of him.

[lanas-delight]

from across the room.

♫ rec: about you by the 1975

✰ an enhypen scenario || gen!reader x jake

✰ description — a disastrous break up, raging arguments, fading love, and what could’ve been.

✰ warnings — language, arguments, mention and accusations of cheating, and a LOT of angst.

✰ note — u guys dont know me yet but i have been told im a mastermind when it comes to writing angst 😍 (ive js made my friends cry with what ive written before lolz) anyways enjoy! 🤭😅

Relationships never lasted with you. It was never your fault exactly, it was either them not being ready for it or just plainly doing you dirty, but you always moved on. It never phased you much, any of it, though that was because all of those people before weren’t him.

His name was Jake. You met him exactly two years and 23 days ago. Your two year anniversary was 18 days ago. You loved him, and he loved you. Everything was good. You were already living together, which happened about seven months ago, but there hasn’t been any issues. Everything was good—until it wasn’t.

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was,” Jake huffs, falling back onto the shared bed of yours. “Trust me, I hate it just as much as you do, maybe more,” he was referring to the business trip he was being forced to go on for a few days. He leaves tomorrow, and he hated that he would have to leave you again. This wasn’t the first business trip he’s ever been on, especially lately. He had gone on seven the last two months alone. You kept count.

"When will you be back?"

"Saturday?" He sounded unsure. "I'll call you once we get there, though," and he sat on the bed, putting on his shoes and tying the laces before continuing to pack his suitcase. You didn't say a word, only sat beside his suitcase and in hopes to reassure you, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You, however, just sighed and looked over at his direction, your eyes avoiding his, earning a puppy-like look from him. "What?"

"You sure have gone on a lot of trips lately," you remark, though quietly. He stares at you as you continue, "I'm worried, Jake."

"About?"

A sudden twist in your stomach, you felt sick. "Nevermind, I'll sound stupid," but he sits with you, worried and concerned terribly.

"No, what is it?"

You sighed again.

"Talk to me, Y/N."

"Are you having an affair?"

Jake laughed. He laughed. "What?" He scoffed, "Why would I ever cheat on you? Are you insane?" Such a kind thing to say to your partner, but he took it back instantly. "I'm sorry. That wasn't nice. It's really just a business trip, Y/N," he tells you, "I only love you."

"But how can I trust you?" You stood up, apart from him as he watched you with furrowed brows. "You've gone on so many, so often, you—You barely call when you're gone. How am I supposed to be sure you're not in bed with someone else?"

"Y/N," he shook his head, "If you don't have trust, we—"

"We have nothing, right?" And you turned, "Nothing new," You then walked off but he followed you into the kitchen, his packing coming to a sudden halt as he tried to make things right with you before he would leave. You grabbed some of the dishes and started to hand-wash them, while he stood near you and tried to reason with you.

"You're being ridiculous," he tells you, a bit rudely, "Why won't you listen to me?" But you ignore him. "Y/N, please. I don't want to leave with us like this. I love you—"

"Then prove it," You turned to him suddenly, "Prove that you love me, because you don't. You sleep in our bed for a couple nights then you're off on another trip. You kiss me but there's no love. There's nothing. There's . . ." You sighed, "There's nothing between us anymore. Because of you."

Jake took a step back. "Y/N, what are you saying?"

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and looked through your photos, showing him a screenshot you had taken off of Jake's phone. Messages with a girl who you didn't recognize, but when you messaged the girl, she swore they were just friends, that she had a boyfriend. But even that won't stop a girl sometimes. You didn't know how to feel, you weren't even sure if the messages had the intent of an affair. It was innocent chatting, you thought, but the fact he couldn't bring himself to look you in the eyes then made you realize the truth. It wasn't innocent. It wasn't a surprise either.

"I don't know why you talk to her, tell her everything while you tell me nothing, but if she's what you want, then she can have you." You threw a pot down in the sink, creating a loud noise to echo through the kitchen and the rest of the apartment as you stormed out, grabbed your coat and slid on your uggs. "I'm going to F/N's," you say, seeing him appear in the hallway behind you. "Goodnight, Jake." The door slammed behind you and you left, leaving the love you had once for him behind.

He called twice, left a voicemail, and sent over 30 messages, explaining everything. He didn't have feelings for that other girl, though he didn't give you any reason to think otherwise so you left that night. You didn't want anything to do with him. Genuinely, you didn't. You didn't know if he had actually cheated, though he claimed he didn't and that he would never do that to you, but he opened up to that girl about things you never even knew an ounce about.

She did have a boyfriend, but it wasn't until a week later that she texted you, telling you that she did like your boyfriend, which caused her own boyfriend to dump her. It wasn't surprising to you at all.

You had been staying at your friend's house for the last week, so when you finally called him back, you only asked him if he had any feelings for that girl. He didn't say anything. He hesitated, but he said no. However, that wasn't enough for you. You hung up on him and texted him that you were through. You asked him to have his stuff out of your apartment by next Friday, which he agreed to.

But on that Friday, when he was taking the last of his stuff, he stopped and looked at you coldly, unsure what to say but spoke anyways. His voice deep and hurt, just like his heart, just like yours.

"You didn't fight for us," he told you, "You didn't even care to listen to what I had to say. You leave every time it gets hard, you blame me for everything I do, but what am I supposed to do when you won't even hear me out, Y/N?"

"I don't know," You stared back at him with crossed arms, "Maybe don't cheat on me?" You scoffed, but he couldn't believe you.

"Why do you have to brush me aside like that?" Jake questioned, "You never listened to me. Have you even considered the possibility that I didn't open up to you because you didn't give me the chance to?"

You unfolded your arms, but you took his words the wrong way. "Are you implying I made you cheat on me?"

But that enraged him. "I didn't cheat on you, Y/N!" He raises his voice, throwing his hands in the air defensively, "I talked to who I thought was my friend, about personal stuff because I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about it, so instead of just trusting me to tell you on my own, you go through my phone and accuse me of cheating on you."

"You hesitated," you threw it back in his face, "When I asked you if you liked her, you hesitated before saying no. You had to think about whether or not you liked another girl while you were with me. Do you not realize how pathetic that made me feel?"

"Do you not realize how pathetic you've made me feel?" Jake remarks, tears in his eyes, mirroring yours, "I'm the bad guy in every part of this story, Y/N, because you won't even give me the chance to explain myself. You keep dismissing me and ignoring me, but why won't you listen to me? I love you with all I have, Y/N."

But you wiped your tears, sniffling. "I never want to see you again."

His eyes grew wide, but he didn't fight against it. He grabbed the last of his stuff and left without another word spoken between you both.

There was a party. You didn't know anyone but your best friend, but as she had gone off with her boyfriend, you were now alone, sitting on the couch, drinking liquor out of some plastic cup. You wore a red dress, made of satin, with heels that weren't too high that your ankles wanted to break but not too flat that made you appear too different from everyone else. You didn't want to be different, easy to single out. You wanted to fit in, just like everyone else. But you weren't like everyone else. That was clear the moment he saw you.

The room was crowded. You could barely see over dozens of people piled into one room. Music blaring, dim lights as one of your favorite songs started to play. People were dancing, people were drinking, having a good time like there was no tomorrow. And there he was, standing by the wall. You could see him through the small spaces between people. His eyes were glued to his phone screen for a fleeting moment, one that felt a little too long until he suddenly met eyes with you and in response, you smiled at him from across the room, while your heart jumped out of your chest and you had never felt more noticed in your life.

He approached you soon enough, breaking the awkwardness with a little joke before he sat beside you and started an easy-going conversation with you about what you did for work, what he did for work, etc. The night ended with a lightly-sober kiss between you both, where he said something so beautiful to you that you swore it was engraved into you. He said, "You are so pretty when you smile, but when it was just at me, like I was the only person in that crowded room, I knew it was you that I'm going to fall for." Five days later, after a couple of sober dates, he was your boyfriend. And for two years, you promised yourself that he was the one. Until he wasn't.

You had a dream once, that you married Jake and had a family with him. You had a couple of dogs, ones he and the kids all named like Scout, Georgie, and Layla the 2nd. You had your dream job, as did he, and you were just so happy with him and the kids. He had built you your dream house, with a concrete pool and a beautiful backyard that the kids would run all over in with the dogs. He had always promised you that he would anything for you—build you a house, give you the family you wanted, be the husband you needed. You loved him with your entire being, and he felt the same way about you.

But it had been five years since the break up. You haven't heard from him in at least four years, and the last thing you were told, he was engaged to some new girl and was moving back to Australia after the wedding.

You had met someone else, too. You had only been dating for a few months now, nothing too serious just yet, but you were just getting used to being in a relationship again. You were taking it slow, not wanting to rush anything.

You didn't have feelings for Jake anymore. You haven't loved him in years. But there's a part of that wishes that fate would lead you back into each other's lives, single and open for a second chance. But that was never going to happen. You were never going to be the one he stares at from across the room, where you smile at him and start the love that should have lasted forever, but it never stood a chance. You had moved on, and so has he. The memories of what love gave you both lingers in your eyes, your mind, and for the rest of your life, you'll know that it just wasn't meant to be. From across the room, you'll stay, and regret ever smiling at him for he became the love of your life, just as quickly as you left him. It was over. But you were okay.

You had to be.

———————————————————————————————

A/N - sorry guys i felt like hurting feelings today mb

[generational-atrophy]

Hii I love your blog ♡ I dont know if you're still taking asks but if yes how would France, Germany and England react to a s/o telling them they had been abused and have ptsd?

hetalia france, germany, and england with a s/o who has ptsd

1.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons / scenarios

tw: obvs. mentions of trauma but nothing specific

a/n: sorry for being gone so long. my life is like a poor little weasel getting hit by a big hammer rn. hope this lives up to ur expectations anon !!! <3

France

- When you tell him, he's not surprised. He's spent so much time around you that he had always had his suspicions.

- But even so, when you first revealed the details of what you had gone through... Francis couldn't stop himself from crying. Seeing you now, knowing how you had been hurt, just broke his heart.

”No one will ever treat you like that again, ok?“ Francis told you, his voice shaking as he held you tightly against his chest, ”Never. Not as long as you live.“

- Considering how soft he already is around you, his behaviour changes very little after that.

- But, now, whenever he has the inevitable urge to run away, he just can't. He remembers how people have treated you before, and realizes that he can't be selfish like that to you ever again. So, fights with Francis are going to be more like discussions in a therapist's office.

- He'd never raise his voice to you or blame you for anything you didn't intend to do. Having gone through similar trauma himself, he remembers how long it took for him to fully move on from that; so any emotional outbursts on your part are easily forgiven.

- But in general, he's just very forgiving.

- Although he may be a great boyfriend to someone with PTSD, he might also become a little more controlling. Events that he wouldn't have batted an eye at you attending before might become a problem, as he worries about you being able to protect yourself.

- Friends who he used to mildly dislike, he suddenly insists on you cutting off. It's like he thinks of you as some delicate flower. It's all with the best of intentions, but it will be annoying for a while.

- Other than that though, he'd be such a calm, comforting presence to a S/O with trauma.

It had been such a long time since you'd had a nightmare about being back there. You couldn't even remember what the dream was about, all you knew was that you were back there. Which was more than enough to rip you from your slumber, sending you into a panic you hadn't experienced in months.

But as you shot up, sweat dripping down your forehead and heart pumping, Francis was right there beside you. In a flash, he turned on the bedside lamp and shook himself out of his sleep, immediately turning to focus on you.

”Mon chéri, did it happen again?“ He asked softly, adjusting himself so he gave you plenty of space on the bed.

You nodded, and he only sighed, ”That's alright, Y/N, you're gonna get through this.“

Your hands still shook even as he tried to calm you down, your gaze flicking from side to side.

”Breath with me,  amour, breath with me...” He chided, resting a gentle hand against your chest.

“1... Breath in,” He took a deep breath,  making sure you followed along, ”Breath out.“

For the next few minutes, not a word was exchanged between you two other than Francis guiding you through slowing your panicked heart.

”You did so good, Y/N...“  Is all he says as your hands finally stop shaking, ”I'm so proud of you. That wasn't easy, alright? But you did perfectly.“

You can't help but smile at his incessant praises, ”Can we just go to sleep now?“

”Do you want me to hold you while you sleep?” He chuckles, leaning closer to you.

“Maybe...”

Germany

- Ludwig wouldn't be angry, he wouldn't be sad, he wouldn't get upset at all when you tell him about your abuse. At least, not outwardly. Internally he's about to stab someone, but to you, he's completely calm.

- He doesn't push you to explain more, but he does make it very clear that you can tell him everything. He won't judge you, he won't blame you, he won't invalidate anything, he just wants to exactly what happened so he can better help you.

- (He actually went to medical school, as well as getting a degree in psychology, so he knows what he's doing.)

- After that, he puts a lot of attention towards your triggers so he can help you deal with them as well as remove them as much as possible.

- He's coping with his own PTSD too, so any outbursts or instability is completely fine with him. He understands. He'd never take anything you say in the heat of the moment personally.

- Plus, he's like, never tired, so you can always call on him in an emergency. You're his top priority. Whatever you need to feel safe now, he doesn't mind helping with.

- He becomes a lot more protective as well. Whereas you two were a lot more independent from each other before, now he makes an effort to accompany you to anything that might make you upset. He just worries so much...

- If anyone or anything DOES upset you, he's releasing absolute hell onto that person. Normally he'd never make a scene, but with you? He is completely ok with making EVERYONE uncomfortable, just to make a point.

- Your problems and trauma don't bother him at all. If anything, he's glad to have a partner who can understand his struggles as well. You're both just moving past something as best as you can, and that's all that matters.

“It's been three years?” You thought to yourself as you sat still, staring out the window, ”It must've been less than that. No, it was just last month wasn't it?“

That's what you'd been telling yourself since you woke up. That day, it'd been three years since you had left. But it must've been some kind of trick. Some lie you'd been told. No, it couldn't've been.

So you sat, your dry eyes fixed on a swaying bush outside the window. If it had really been three years since then, then you must've been sitting for months. The house was quiet, and the weather was dreary. You hadn't eaten. Ludwig would be frustrated about that. But he wasn't here, so... it was alright.

Or at least, he shouldn't have been.

“Y/N?” Ludwig called out from somewhere else in the house. You didn't move. Even as his footsteps came closer and closer to where you sat, you didn't move.

“Liebling, are you ok?”

No response. He sighs, crouching down next to your chair.

“Is this because it's been three years?“

This time a response, as it seems like your body nodded involuntarily.

”Ah. I understand, my dear.“

He stood up again, setting down his bag from work.

”How long have you been sitting there?“

”I dunno...“ You croaked out, your voice clearly being out of use for quite a while.

”Do you want to keep sitting there?“

No response.

“Would you want to come walk Berlitz and the boys with me?“

A small nod. Ludwig walks over just to open the blinds a little more, just as the sun begins to shine into the room through a gap in the cloudy sky.

“Nice timing, isn't it?”

“Yeah...”

“Take your time getting ready. I'll be waiting downstairs whenever you want to go. I missed you today, Y/N.” And with that, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and walked downstairs.

England

- When you first told him, things didn't go... perfectly. Arthur is not a very comforting man in general, but when it comes to you, his love tends to manifest in, well... not the best ways.

- He became quite angry when you told him. Not because he was angry at you, but angry that someone could ever do that to you.

- But after he realized how that anger would have come across to you, he tried to explain away why he had reacted so harshly.

”Love, I- I didn't mean to... well, I'm not angry at you, ok? I promise. It's not like it was your damn fault! You're the victim! Of some- some twisted cunt-”

“Ok- but y-you're still yelling!”

“I'm not yelling at you- I'm yelling for you!”

- Don't worry, that's probably the last time he'll ever yell around you.

- After the initial panic and hatred, he remembers what's important. You. And protecting you, in every way he can.

- Whenever he's around you, he makes sure to regulate his emotions as much as he can. He'll get all of his anger out at Alfred, just so you never have to worry about him coming home pissed. He wants his home to feel safe for you.

- He tries to be as consistent as possible. If you ever need anything, he won't ask questions, he'll just do it. As much as he wants to be snarky, he'd stop making those kinds of comments to you entirely.

- But if you still know your abuser, he's taking out all of that anger onto them. In his opinion, any person who could traumatize you like that should suffer just like you have.

- Basically, he just becomes a lot more protective. In public, he'd hold your hand constantly, so you always know that you're not alone. In private, he'd lay off any questioning. Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, he'd push his own curiosity aside.

- Although, he struggles with talking about what you went through directly. He's likely gone through something similar, and an honest conversation about either of your problems freaks him out a little bit.

- He can comfort you, bringing you back from the brink with no problem, but don't expect him to have any meaningful ideas on how to help you cope.

- (His only idea is what he does. Which is to try to ignore it. Which is bad.)

All Arthur had to say was “What's wrong with you?” for the spiral to start. He wasn't even serious, but the smirk plastered on his face seemed to turn sinister within a second. The smell of the room, the direction of the sun, the feeling of your socks, all of it was too familiar. All of it was exactly like that time long ago.

You started to breathe heavier, eyes darting for something to save you from the situation you had just been cast into once again. Something must be different, this can't be happening again.

“Y/N?” Arthur asks, his voice distant and muffled within your panicking mind, “Y/N, look at me.”

When he reached out gently to rest his hand over yours, you completely drew away within an instant. Shaking, cowering in fear against the couch, as far away as you could get from...

“Y/N, is it happening again?” He said, his words barely registering. You nodded, still looking at everything and nothing.

But you watched intently as he got up. He walked over to the thermostat, his footsteps nothing like you remembered from back then. It suddenly became colder than it used to be... and a blanket was draped over your quivering body.

“It's over. They're not here... ok? I promise it's over.”

“You promise? Y-You promise?”

“You're safe. There's nothing here that can hurt you. I promise.“

[niamiya]

When you're all alone, I will reach for you.

Synopsis: You got ghosted by someone to which you didn't handle well, and now your roommate takes care of you 👍

Genre: fluffy fluff, comfort, a little angst??

A/n: TBH, I wrote this cause I actually did get ghosted by my crush recently (this might be me coping), so yeah 🤗 but hey, real-life experience makes the writing more realistic mweheheh (except i dont actually have a kaveh 😔) I like to write stuff based on my experiences and i love mah boy kaveh, anyways first post and sorry for any grammatical errors english isn't my first language!! Enjoy reading <33

Your crush had recently ghosted you, leaving you confused and depressed causing you to not want to leave your bed a rot there to the point your roommate, Kaveh, got worried. Whenever he returned from his work, he would usually catch you on the couch watching TV, but it had been weeks since he last saw you other than inside your room to the point that it felt like the place was filled with melancholy without yout presence, so he decided to check up on you.

"Hey, just checking up. Is everything alright? You haven't gone outside your room for a while now, can't help but be worried." Kaveh knocked on the door. The light from the living room shining past the slightly opened door to your pitch black room "I may not know what you're going through, but is there anything I can do to help?" He offered.

You jumped from the fact that kaveh had suddenly turned up to your room. You didn't think he'd be back this early since usually he would come back late due to him being an architect with possibly loads of projects, but even so, you covered yourself under the sheets not wanting him to look at you at this state which he did not take as an answer, he approached you and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Look, I won't force you to tell me what happened, but this is getting ridiculous it has been weeks. Could you at least let me take care of you? I can't see you in such a state," kaveh murmured. You can tell from the hint of his voice that he seemed like he genuinely cared about your well being, he had always been like that, caring about others more than himself, so much that sometimes you had to scold him about people taking advantage of his kindness.

But this time, it was different. It was you now who needed scolding for letting yourself rot in your room, skipping meals, ignoring and locking yourself from everyone over some person who broke your heart. This was the first time kaveh had to take care of you. He never saw you in such a vulnerable state (well maybe because you prefer to hide it) or it would always be the other way around because Kaveh would always put others first before himself which can sometimes not place a positive impact for his own good.

After a moment of silence, you realize he isn't leaving until you give him an answer, you slowly got up and let the blanket fall, revealing your puffy eyes and wet cheeks from the tears, pillow stained and crumpled tissues everywhere, your skin pale everything about you right now was so not you, you let out a hiccup and covered your face with your hands due to embarrassment, Kaveh gently rubbed your back making you feel more comforted as you sobbed more "I'm stupid, kaveh.. I wish I never wasted my time," you cried out to him.

He was listening to you tentatively, still rubbing your back while your words almost made no sense due to your cries and hiccups he was still listening, understanding your state, and trying his best to comfort you "Hey now, don't say that okay? You're not stupid at all. In fact, I think you did amazing. I've seen you giving all your efforts, and he just failed to see it, and it's not your fault," he admitted, truth to be told, he would always be the first person to hear what you have to say about your crush all the time even if it was a slight interaction, He had seen lengths you'd go through just to make your crush happy.

He removed your hands that were covering your face. Your vision was blurry due to your tears, but you could still see his figure wiping your tears with his thumb. "There there, you'll be okay. Trust me, I won't let you ruin yourself just cause one person broke your heart." he continued comforting you through it all to which you sobbed a bit. You thought that you'd have to go through this alone, but seeing your roommate now by your side gave you hope.

"I may not have much experience with this.. love thing, but I do know that not all people in this world are the same. You will meet someone who will notice all your efforts, so don't cry, okay?" Cheered kaveh, trying to find all the right words to say, all his words comforted your heart which was once shattered you couldn't help but pull him for a hug and let a few happy tears "thanks kaveh... for being here, I know you also have your fair share of problems to deal with, but you had always been so caring, " you whispered, with your hands around his shoulder.

"I'd do anything to see your 'too much energy' side again. In fact, I miss it, seeing you tell your day every time after I come back from work, so seeing you lock yourself away from everyone was devastating, " he whispered near your ear "you also have always been there for me when I always rant about my work, and I want to be there for you" he rubbed your back comfortingly confessing sweet nothings.

He slowly pulled away from the hug. "Come on now, you hadn't eaten any decent meal, right? How about I cook us your favourite meal for dinner?" He offered with a genuine smile. At that moment, you felt your heart skip a beat. You eventually nodded slowly. Your stomach had been rumbling all day as he gently took your hand, and both of you headed to the kitchen.

The light was almost blinding due to you being cooped up in your dark room for weeks, but the atmosphere felt comforting. The air felt fresher than the suffocating room. As you reached the kitchen, you sat down on one of the chairs as Kaveh prepared all the ingredients to cook your favourite meal. It's just a simple activity, really, but seeing your roommate so dedicated to cheer you up made you feel warm inside, he was smiling genuinely everytime he made eye contact with you whilst he was cooking the food.

Only then had you realized you were falling for your roommate.

______________________________________________

[the-chaos-crew]

okay this is gonna be SUPER different than most of my posts but god ding diddly dang it I'm frustrated so hear me out

I had a bad childhood, like a really bad one, as far as I know since I was 6 but my dad and older brother think I probably was affected by the insane shit since 4yrs old. which if you don't know is pretty fucking young. and that traumatic childhood lasted until I was about 11. that's a pretty long fucking time for trauma to build up over time.

now because of this shit childhood, I developed the coping mechanism known as dissociation. I often feel like I'm in a dream or I'm watching someone else live my life and it's really really weird. now sometimes though, that dissociation is taken to an extreme. and extreme where I just suddenly BLIP lose several hours or more of time and I have no memory of it.

my IRL friends have told me that during these periods of time where I just black out, I act completely differently or my behavior shifts suddenly

I've tried denying that this is a thing and at one point I did consider Dissociative Identity Disorder. I snapped out of it of course cause I'm too young for that to start disrupting my life, right? yes my abuser is gone, she'll never return, I mean how could she when she is in an urn sitting on a shelf now. but, I'm a teen now, and in therapy, I should be fine and healthy now right?

I told my therapist about how these black outs in my memory freak me out and I just cannot keep ignoring it anymore, and my therapist told me to talk to my psychiatrist cause she might know a bit more and be able to help me

you wanna know. what my psychiatrist said? what she said about this very worrying and distressing thing that affects my life and relationships?

"you're fine, it isn't affecting you that significantly" (while I was there crying cause I am honestly scared about whatever is going on) "it sounds totally normal to me, everyone gets a bit more extreme in their emotions"

LIKE WHAT. LADY. AUGHHHFHFFHH

she completely waved off my concerns.

I don't try to get into discourse in stuff I'm not even a part of, but fuck man. this is what mental illness fakers are really doing. "erm endos aren't taking resources away erm uh" BRO. MY THERAPIST KNOWS OF DID, SHE KNOWS THE ABSOLUTE SHIT I WENT THROUGH AS A KID. and yet she isn't too sure about going anywhere in that realm of possibility other than me dealing with dissociation above the average for C-PTSD sufferers. why? because my therapist has dealt with one too many fakers trying to be fucking debilitated like I am, without the actual debilitation part!

my psychiatrist is waving my concerns and problems away because she knows that a lot of kids of my generation are just saying this shit for attention or clout or to validate their delusions

mental illness fakers are making it so no one believes the people who are actually struggling and it's making me pissed off. I DONT WANT TO LOSE HOURS OF MY LIFE TO SOME OTHER FACET IN MY BRAIN. I WANT TO GET HELP FOR THIS SHIT. BUT NO ONE WILL FUCKING BELIEVE OR LISTEN TO ME.

I WONDER. FUCKING. WHY.

okay. rant over. sorry. I'm just super fucking pissed and I just want help for whatever the fuck is going on with me dude

[scummy-writes]

Scum's Anon Tips

Hello 👋 I have been on tumblr for around 8-9 years and have seen this website change a lot! Nowadays, I notice old information circling around regarding anons, and I wanted to share some information I've experienced through my time here.

This is not meant to be mean spirited, it's just meant to be helpful since I am noticing a trend of anon hate in the circles I'm around. Please feel free to add any corrections that you know to be true, or any additionals.

1. Blocking an anon does not put the user who sent the message in your block list.

(Tested and verified)

I see this one spread a lot and, from what I believe, this is from Way Back on tumblr from around the time I joined. It's possible that this was never a thing, and people just said it was, or this was a glitch that happened eons ago. Who knows! This site is held together by sticks and gum, so shit happens.

What happens instead is that it blocks the anons IP address . This is verified here by the site themselves (under 'other considerations'). Before they implemented having to be logged in to send anons, this made dealing with anon hate a bit more difficult since dedicated folks could try to bypass the IP block.

2. Blocking one anon message, out of a group of them, then refreshing, can show you how many of those anons were sent by the same person/IP.

(Tested, verified with note)

This is something I would do when I would seemingly get a batch of anon messages from 'multiple' people in the last few years (and recently as of March/April-ish of 2023), only to block one and then refresh, and have all of the hateful messages suddenly gone from my inbox. It's a helpful way to help realize that no, 282973 people are not slamming in to get mad at your characterization in a fanfic, its usually just one dedicated asshole.

Side note: last time I tried this, I did have a notif for one of the anons in my notifications, but not actually in my inbox. It's possible that this may be buggy at times. In my experience, aside from that single instance, it's repeatedly gotten rid of other hateful anons in my inbox.

3. Blocking someone who you believe/know sent the anon message does nothing to the anon message in your inbox.

(Tested, verified)

Until recently, I thought that this would work! But as of 07/09/2023, I realized that this does nothing to any anons in your inbox. I had my roommate send me an anonymous message, then I blocked her account and refreshed my inbox multiple times: and it never touched the anon message. I think this is odd for tumblr to do, but it may line up with some sort of privacy protection they have.

So if you have any worries if someone sent an anon message, this is not a way to test it out.

4. (A Tip) If you find yourself getting a lot of anon hate...

Not a great answer, but one that is needed to be heard: Stop Answering Them. We've all been online long enough to hear the 'dont feed the trolls' mantra, but seriously. Answering the ask means you can no longer block Or report it. In point 2 I mentioned it's usually one dedicated asshole, but if it isn't, then you're just opening yourself to more anon attacks. If you Badly want to answer it- screenshot it, then answer that way, because at least you can still block and report the OG anon. I think this is even more important now that users have to be logged in to send anon messages. They can't play with IPs as much anymore with this feature, so it's more important than ever to block and report em now.

Reporting can be done on mobile and desktop version of the site, as well as blocking. Please, always utalize these. You're not a 'coward' or whatever for curating your online experience.

Additional Note:

When it comes to information spread about anons, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if it seems to be in line with any possible privacy issues with tumblr. The point of anonymous messages, good or bad, are to be anonymous. It does not make much sense for a site to allow you to easily see who sent the anon in that context. Especially when, on the official Help section of the site, they have confirmed that even staff supposedly doesn't know who sent said anon ask (It's under 'What About Anonymous Asks?'). So why would they have their site (alibet held together with sticks and gum) show you very easily who sent the anon?

On their side of things, I hope this is a little fixed now that we have to be logged in to send messages, so that they can take action on the accounts sending hateful shit.

-----

Please feel free to add onto this list, but I repeat, please add on with things you know to be true. Not stuff you heard through the grapevine, as there is so much misinformation on that vine, but things you yourself have experienced and have Worked. It'll be helpful to know if your tip is something from before the 'must be logged in' change or not as well!

[thestuffieguardian]

You dont have friends that you like to talk to here then? Basically no one that you look forward talking, not even in a like platonic way?

Not asking bc I want to be your close friend or to beg for you to break or rules btw, just genuinely curious.

I don't talk much but I have my fps around here and I can't imagine not having them and being there for them. I think my friends would not DM me If I had a rule like yours, but I'd miss them and be worried they would not reach out and be sad

How do you develop feelings with your mutuals like you mentioned? If not talking to them

I talk to people sometimes. But I'm numb a lot of the time, and we never speak about anything in depth. So, there's zero mental stimulation from the conversation. The no DM rule is applicable because I don't want pointless conversation, girls who only like me because of something superficial. I'm not interested. Consider I've seen 3 of them make indirect posts about me not replying to them. I don't owe anyone my time or my replies. To think otherwise is stupid. I don't miss anyone. I have no reason to miss anyone. People have their own lives. Sure, I would miss some of their blogs if they were suddenly gone, but as for not speaking, I don't speak anyway. Even in real life, in a room, you'd rarely hear me actually speak and participate in conversation

The most conversational interaction people get from me is either asks or when they reply to my posts. I'm here to reblog and read stories. I'm not here to make friends. I run solo. I don't want friends. Sure I consider some close to me in a small, very small sense, but as I said, I've never had mentally stimulating conversation with any of them, that being said, that does mean girls need to jump into my DMs and try to stimulate my mind, it's not going to work. I am not interested.

At one time I have at least 4 girls messaging me. Do you have any idea how draining it is? Do you have any idea how draining it is to formulate four different replies to four different conversations? It's not happening.

Y'all need to stop asking.

[crows-home]

Kotetsu's a bad dad, but also a good dad. He loves his daughter so much. But he's neglectful. He always thinks about Kaede, but he doesn't really know her. Here are some things I've been thinking about that, because holy shit.

Fuck I have so many thoughts about Kotetsu. He's a good person, he's a good hero, he tries his best always. Even if he's embarrassing or is a liability, he's always willing to go. Willing to put himself or his pride at risk for the sake of what's right.

But he's not a good father. Always gone, so focused on his work, that he never sees his daughter. And sure, he loves her a lot. She's his whole world and the reason he pushes himself. But that doesn't negate the fact that Kaede never had a father that was present as she grew up. And all his attempts at connection- his words, his gifts- they all feel so... surface level? "Ill give her a hair pin :) a teddy bear :) my little itty bitty baby girl"

No, buddy. Your daughter grew up. She's not four anymore. You need to communicate with her, learn her interests, and support her. Not just give her presents and empty promises. Not just talk down to her. And I know it's not all his fault. Single father, widow, the fate of so many people on his shoulder on the regular. He's not perfect, has no idea what he's doing, and just desperately wants his daughter to like him. To be proud of him.

But he was the younger sibling, probably didnt have much experience with kids younger than himself. I've seen it before. He's a parent that just wants to be Good Enough. Doesn't want to make the wrong move, and in doing so, is too loose with his parenting. Not confident.

But god, he's his daughter's biggest cheerleader, even on the side.

All Kaede had was her grandmother, who she could lose at any minute, and a dad that would always choose his work over her. She didn't know her dad was a hero, so that's all she saw. It's so much anxiety for a kid, and it makes me sad to think about.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN THEY TOUCHED ON IT IN SEASON 2!!! like, Kaede actually calls him out on it!!

"Just neglect me like always. It's all you're good for!"

Fuck, hearing her say that made me flinch. It's true, and he knows it. But by season 2, it feels like Kotetsu's more... mature? I think part of it is Kaede knowing that he's a hero now, so she's not always hurt when he says he has to leave her for a "work emergency." And part of it is knowing that she's growing, she's not a baby, she can handle herself.

It's a hard transition, realizing this kid who used to depend on you to feed them, keep them clean, keep them safe, doesnt need that anymore. Suddenly they're doing things on their own, they dont need constant supervision, and you have to let go and realize that they can keep themself safe. But it's a weight off his shoulders, I think. That realization.

My daughter will be okay. I'm here for her now, if she needs me, but i cant protect her from every little thing, and maybe i dont need to.

its just. he's not perfect. i dont think he was a very good father at all, in the beginning. and Kaede is absolutely allowed to resent him for that. She needed him there, and he wasn't. She's allowed to feel abandoned and alone, even if she knows her father was off saving the world or whatever. it obviously still bugs her, and i'm so glad that was included. Instead of just keeping her as the two dimensional "yay my dad is so cool now that i know he's Wild Tiger! Everything is fine with me now :3"

But they'll both just have to live with it and grow with each other. Kotetsu is becoming a better parent, as best as he can, along with all the other worries he has. Kaede deserved a better father growing up, deserves it still, but is becoming a confident young woman, still navigating through it all.

i dont know how to end this. it just really hit me to see a family dynamic like this. i love it so much, would love to explore this more one day.

[starligtgalaxy]

chapter 03: oh who is she, a Misty memory

"Its quite small, but good for people who don't have much money"

The saleswoman explains, showing around the apartment.

"A comfy bed, a lot of shelves, a Tv, a table with chair and a kitchen"

"sorry for all the mess. The last person that lived here went...missing" the saleswoman trails off "anyways, I shall get some people to take away the stuff"

"don't worry, I'll just clean it up myself" I wave my hand.

"alright, don't forget to pay the rent. Bye" the woman walk out.

I wave and close the door. The moment it was shut, Pumpkin jumps off and jumps ontop of the bed. Transforming into her human form.

"Man, I'm tired" she says.

"from what, sitting on my shoulder all day?" I raise an eyebrow, a big smirk displayed on my face.

"Oh, shut up you" She grumbles.

I chuckle. I grab an empty carton box that I brought with me and puts it on the table.

i place the books in. I was about to grab the book next to the bed when i notice something interesting.

It wasn't like the other, it was something closer to a notebook.

It was red, it had a few scratches on it, along with a bandage. On it were two characters scribbled on, what looks to be monkey and a boy. Also a monkey sticker on it.

I open it, on the backside over the cover was writing. Belongs to Mk

'Must be the one who lived here before me' I look through the pages, it seem to document the powers and stories of a monkey called Sun Wukong. Also known as the Great Sage equal to heaven, Monkey King.

"really, a monkey king fanboy? I dont even know this person and I hate them already" I suddenly hear Albino's voice behind me, scaring me.

She grabs the notebook out of my hands and begins inspecting it.

"You know Sun wukong?" I ask her, continuing to pack in Mk's stuff.

"let's just say me and flea eater have a interesting past" she faguely explains.

I pick up a shirt that was laying on the ground, it had an Pigsy's noodles logo on the back.

'Huh, so he used to work there. I should ask about him tommorow'

I grab a red bandana that was laying the table. I was about to put in the box when the door slams open.

"you!?"

There in the doorway stands a girl with black hair and green highlights aka Mei.

"Uh why are h-" I cut myself off when she snatches the bandana.

"you walks into our lives thinking you can replace Mk, but you can't!" She tells out, seeming to be holding back tears.

"You...knew him?"

"ofcourse I did! He was my best friend. A-And now he's...gone" the tears release, streaming down her face.

I frown. I walk towards her and embrace her. I feel her gripping my (clothing) as I feel her tears on my shoulder.

i stroke her back as I listen to her soft sobs.

"I-its all my fault"

"Hey, its okay. I'm sorry that I barged into your life and trying to take the place of your friend, I really didn't mean it"

"N-No its not..." She couldn't utter out a word die to her sobbing.

She hasn't noticed Albino rat standing in the corner, watch us with a blank expression.

Mei lets go, she wipes her tears. She looks away, avoiding eye contact.

"This is so stupid, Im...sorry for being so horrible towards you" she fiddles with the bandana.

"Its fine, emotions can get the best of us. Especially if you have lost someone" I make eye contact with Albino rat. She softly smiles.

"Heh, see you tommorow" She waves goodbye. She walks out, closing the door behind her.

"well that was a lot...iiiiiin like a minute, talk about mood swings" Albino rat jokes.

"Yeah it was pretty fa-" I turn around only to be an empty carton box to the face.

"Let's continue to clean up, its getting late and I want to sleep"

"oh right" I continue to pack in Mk's stuff. Writing what was on was in each box. I stack them in a piramide shape.

Albino rat puts the now clean bowls into the cabin. She walk towards the bed and lays down, transforming into her rat.

i look outside the window 'Could Qi be there again... well maybe I could check' I walk towards it and open it.

I hear Albino squeek. "Oh, just gonna check something, I''ll be right back"

[christelgothamite]

Gotham vs Elora : Christel decision.

Christel glared at the news about the houses in Gotham bay burning.

' The question is who or what is Elora. '

Christel switched the TV off. Christel breathed in as she felt the spirits of the people that died enter the underworld. All this death. It would continue if Elora continues to exsist. A thought she has had many times.

Christel pulled out her phone.

@christelgothamite I've had d three Elora assains try and brake into my lair in the last few days if see another one I'm unleashing an inferno on that damn town - Delenn.

Christel bite her lips as she saw the post. She scrolled down and

MANIS MISSING!

I REPEAT MÁNI IS MISSING AND HECATES GONE AFTER HER!!

NOW THEIR BOTH MISSING!! WHAT DO I DO?! - daxter.

Christel's eyes widened. That's post was made hours ago!!

She stood up. Should she go after them? No no that might make things worse! Christel breathed in and out. She had already told carol this might happen.

All of them are smart and powerful. They can defend themselves.

Christel looked at the circle she made. This... Her plan was the only way out. Without Elora ever exsisting. Nothing can go wrong.

"our family will always come out of crumbles. Nothing can stop us" her mother voice rang inside her brain.

Elora has exsisted for years. Decades

Years of pain, decades of pain. innocents had to ensure because of Elora.

What if, What if Elora never exsisted?

She wouldn't exsist either...

Would that be so bad? Christel remembered Jack and Gold's decapitated heads.

Christel remembered Claudia's face

Christel entered the circle. Suddenly a thought came ahead. Aristella and Anasticius won't exsist. She blinked. Biting her bottom lips. She stepped out of the circle.

What would happen to Aleksander? Would he just be a talon? Or would he be a new incarnation of joker? Or would he not exsist just like his siblings?

Christel phased around the room.

Damian wouldn't remember her or their children... But that's fine! He already has people by his side. It... It won't change anything.

"but all the worries about his future crumbled as soon as I saw him playing with Aris, alek and Anas the other day" Bruce said sincere

Christel blinked. She shook her head. Damian would be fine.

Hecate and their kids. They have each other. They don't need Christel. Hecate has carol and carol has Hecate!

Kam and daxter, they made it to Gotham on their own. They would meet up with carol and have their life full of happiness. They dont need Christel. They have each other.

Amelia is a strong women. Christel's absence won't do anything.

Barnaby had Al. Barnaby doesn't need Christel either.

Nathen...

Christel felt her breathing slow a little. She sighed.

Nathen is capable, he will save himself. She believes in him.

Delenn... Would be fine. Christel not exsisting won't change her life.

They all will be fine.

Christel looked at the circle. She got out of the room, walking past Alfred.

"miss Christel are you okay?" he asked. Christel hummed before giving him a smile. "I am doing lovely Alfred. Don't worry about me.. I just wanted to go to the kids room and play with them. Haven't done that for a while"

Alfred nodded "please take care of yourself. With miss Claudia's death neither you or master Richard are doing good"

Christel nodded "I know. Thank you for taking care of us Alfred"

"well that is my job miss" Alfred stated. Christel shook her head.

"no seriously. Thanks for talking care of me and my children" she stated before giving him a smile "I will go and see the kids"

She quickly excused herself and went into the kids room.

Christel let out a shaky breath as she saw the children were sleeping. A tremendous amount of guilt ate her up on the inside.

These children might stop exsisting in the near future all because of her.

What can she even do?

Christel shakenly sat onto the edge of Aristella's bed. Watching the girl sleep. She planted a kiss on top of her head.

Maybe there is a way to preserve the children... There has to be. Christel mentally re-read the spell. Realizing there might not be a way around that.

"mama?" Aris mumbled. Getting out of her sleep. Her sleepish eyes glancing at her. Christel blinked, tears falling out of her eyes. She felt the other two yawn.

"mother? Why are you crying?" Anasticius asked, now he was awake Alek behind him rubbing his eyes.

Christel rubbed her tears away. Sniffing "sorry to wake you kids up. I didn't mean to." she opened her arms inviting them to sleep with her. The children came close and in a minute they were in a cuddle pile.

Christel let out a shaky breath. "I am sorry... I am sorry for what I am about to do" she whispered. Alek blinked at her. Not understanding. Christel kissed the top of his head.

"mother... Is something wrong" Anasticius asked. Scoping closer to her. Christel shook her head.

"I am fine dear. You three go to bed" she whispered. Remembering the fire. How many parents lost thier life, along with thier kids?

Christel looked at her children. They all nodded. Closing their eyes, still very sleepy. Maybe they would get reincarnation. Maybe they would get a better mother.

Maybe Aristella would reborn as Damian's child with another women. Christel is okay with that.

Maybe Anasticius would be reborn as another happy couples child. Christel would be happy with that.

Maybe Aleksander would be reborn not as a talon or joker 2.0 but as Delenn, carol and Jason's son. Christel wishes that would happen.

She truly hoped they could continue to live after she erases herself somehow.

Christel closed her eyes drifting into her sleep, hugging her children.

No more people will die.

She will right the wrongs her family has done over the decades.

Christel has made her decision.

[corrosiveblue]

Ok reblogging and adding on cuz i thought i could just post a little paragraph comment in response...but I spent like 30 minutes prattling away on my keyboard lol.

The fact that people will push this narrative based off of small things like Casca not pushing Griffith away is so freaky. Like yeah its fiction, and I dont believe in the whole fiction to IRL pipeline on a grand scale. Obviously your feelings towards something in fiction and reality can be very different. But I do worry like…I hope this isn't a mindset people carry with them in general. These are fairly realistic depictions of these topics and to see people respond to them like this is concerning.

Casca not pushing Griffith away reads so clearly like shock to me. This is someone she loves, someone she looks up to, and held on this high pedestal for YEARS. And suddenly he's on top of her trying to assault her. Years of thinking he's this near godly upstanding guy shattered in one moment. I feel like a lot of people would freeze in a scenario like that. He literally saved her from an attempted assault, just to turn around and do exactly that to her..

You're fighting in your mind between the before and after of this person. All those good memories and feelings, but now there's this...

There's literally a word to explain this. It's Fight or Flight? Hello? Not everyone's gonna respond to a dangerous situation with violence, especially when it's someone you care for. Someone who's never shown any intent to harm you before.

(and excuse me for this next tangent, I know I'm reaching a bit and even I keep repeating to myself "these arent real people" but hey this is tumblr)

I'd also argue that Casca is still a woman in a world that very clearly puts them in submissive subjective roles. She may be a mercenary, and second in command in this ragtag group. But I don't think that negates her upbringing, and what she sees on the daily. Obviously we don't get much info on her early childhood before the Band of the Hawks. But we know one thing. She was sold, one of her first major defining moments is being sold by the family that raised her. Being abandoned and left to the whims of a man that can do whatever with her. And as we see in the manga he does attempt to assault her until Griffith saves her.

But even then, despite her rank she's still subject to the fact that shes a woman in a very patriarchal violent society. For example, I think about Griffith commanding her to lay with Guts to warm him when he first shows up. Sure on a meta level, thats def just sex appeal to get the presumably straight male reader inticed. Ohh, sexy woman next to me and shes naked??!! But in the context of the story, I feel like that shows that she's still in that submissive role. Obviously it makes sense to follow the commands of your LEADER, but that scenarios so extreme and humiliating! And yet she still does it.

I could pick a few more examples, but I bring those up to say, she's still conditioned somewhat to be at the whim of the men around her, and I'd say, just like how it is in the real world, that probably factors into her reaction as well. She's in a world where people like her are play things regardless of their status. Even if she's in a position to fight back, it's brought up time and time again. She's targeted, or threatened with assault verbally. She's conditioned to it, and that may make you think at some point that "yeah that's just how it is". SO sadly, you dont freak out and rightfully lash out at your assaulter when 1. its your friend/crush/superior and 2. on a subconscious level, you know where you stand in society. ( i feel like im not explaining this as well as I want but I'm stumped on what to elaborate on so please excuse me if something sounds not right)

And like you said, so many women IRL have gone through terrible situations and put up with it cuz "he's xyz to me". Even on a smaller scale I think anyone can relate to letting someone do something you don't like but you let them cuz you like them, or theyre youre friend, or partner. Only to realize after that, oh...that wasn't cool. Like you let shit slide when you know people, and even more when you love them!

Sorry I'm gonna get mean here, but not everythings scum of the pot hentai with a women yelling no but meaning yes. Most people mean No, and Stop when they say it.

was the wagon scene in berserk sexual assault?

i mean whatever lol. im ngl in some ways this feels like making a whole ass meta post about whether or not "casca enjoyed it." like do i even need to take this perspective seriously? yeah, yeah, i know, that's a pretty inflammatory thing to say, and a lot of the people who i've seen say the scene is NOT assault don't deserve to be belittled like that.

i think it's possible, and very interesting, to discuss the nuances of the scene. what was griffith's intention in that moment? why didn't casca bring up what happened to guts when he asked? how does this contradict or supplement what we already know about their characters?

per usual, though, most of the discussion of the scene itself put very little thought into one of the TWO main participants - casca. so let's do that, i guess, and look at the scene on the whole.

CW, i will show one eclipse panel (the kiss) in this meta, but that's is

what happens before?

the scene in the wagon comes immediately after the band of the hawk's encounter with wylad. wylad has thoroughly humiliated griffith in front of the entire band of the hawk, told them that griffith is totally defeated and broken, and tried to rape casca while griffith struggled uselessly, unable to help at all.

the band is regrouping afterward, and the reality of griffith's situation is sinking in to the members of the band. we don't know for sure if griffith can hear this, but the band is even discussing whether it makes sense for casca to permanently become the band's leader. where would that leave griffith? a burden, helpless, unable to even lead his own men.

griffith can, however, overhear casca talking to guts just a moment later. she says guts isn't reliant on griffith's dream, and griffith through the wagon can easily see their closeness.

at this point, casca goes to griffith in the wagon.

so where is griffith? his men, who despite his capture have been sustained by his dream, are losing their faith in him because wylad showed how utterly powerless he is. meanwhile, guts is touching casca in an intimate, close way. he feels like everything is slipping through his fingers, even his particular place of importance for guts. he's lost guts to casca. i would argue this piece, seeing casca intimate with guts, changes his mindset even compared to where he was during the scene with wylad.

where is casca? she's still clinging to that hopeless dream. she was so lonely as the commander of the band of the hawk, trying to face the reality of griffith's injuries and the overwhelming way that their roles have been reversed. she's leaning on guts, on anyone, for support for the first time, while being forced to put on a brave face not just for the whole band of the hawk, but for her idol and savior.

what happens during the scene?

casca is changing griffith's bandages. she knocks over a bowl of water, and when she goes to leave the wagon to replace it, griffith grabs her, and... well, that's kind of the whole crux of this meta, isn't it?

griffith forces himself on top of her. the question is why, and what's his intention? that's been discussed a lot on tumblr. the other question is: what does casca think his intention is, and how does she take it?

there is a lot of visual language in the scene that, to me, clearly indicates sexual intentions from griffith, and clearly indicates that's how casca takes his intentions.

side note, i think griffith is crying in the above panel. could be sweat, could be tears... it's subtle enough to leave it up to interpretation.

that last panel in particular is EXACTLY paralleled with the kiss panel during the eclipse. the helmet, the direct eye contact, the pose... miura has always been very intentional with his parallels and his paneling, so i doubt this was an accident. the eclipse panel is just below, btw. scroll quick if u dont wanna see

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this is also how griffith and charlotte's sex scene started.

the wagon scene and the sex scene with charlotte happen because griffith is doing something rash purely on emotion after feeling stripped of all power and no longer in control of a situation. it's not as simple as griffith being an evil rapist from the start, but you can easily see a pattern of him lashing out and trying to regain control through pushy/coercive sex with women. would griffith do this kind of thing normally? no, of course not. but nothing about the situations he's at these points in the manga are "normal," and again there is a pattern of him lashing out and using women as an outlet for his feeling out of control. they ALSO both happen because he feels like he's losing guts.

casca tells griffith to stop, and griffith does stop, but it's not clear to me if he stops intentionally, or if he simply is physically incapable of continuing. i've seen the idea put forward that griffith is terrified that guts and casca are going to abandon him, and so he offers his body as the only thing he has left in a fit of desperation. i'm not opposed to that being part of it - griffith has used his body and sex as an offering before, with gennon.

this is how griffith is looking at casca during the scene:

one is normal and even wistful and sad, the other is...... fucking batshit LOL put those damn things away!!!! blue eyes white demon

one thing, though, that i want to say very clearly: griffith may have offered himself sexually to casca out of desperation, but it is very clear to me that casca did not want it. griffith fully forced himself on top of her, too, with his arms wrapped around her. if it was unwanted and forced sexual contact, regardless of why griffith did it or how much of a woobie he is to u, that is BY DEFINITION sexual assault.

this is the part that kind of drives me crazy. i don't personally believe that this was an act of self-loathing or self harm, like take my body because i have nothing left, but even if it is - it is still sexual assault. it is!!!! this isn't an argument!!!!!! yeah he was sad about it but it was still sexual assault!!!!

but anyways, enough about griffith. how does casca react?

i've seen the fact that she doesn't push him off presented as evidence that this wasn't assault. i'll... get to that.

what happens after?

after, we get these panels of casca, obviously shaken, outside the wagon.

she is clearly VERY upset. when guts approaches, he sees something is clearly wrong, but she brushes it off and says its nothing. when he keeps pressing, asking if it was something with griffith, she eventually breaks down and tells him that she can't leave with him. she has to stay with griffith, she has to care for him in his fragile, broken state. guts, on the other hand, has to go. even if its alone...

is this reaction in conflict with the idea that what griffith did in the wagon was sexual assault???? no. not at all.

casca feels immense devotion to the band of the hawks, and especially to griffith. she reminisces about how strong griffith seemed to her while she bandages him in the wagon. he gave her everything - a purpose, a reason to fight, a dream, and now even though the event was terrifying she sees griffith's physical weakness and knows she can't leave him. she can't leave him. how often irl do women overlook instances where their boundaries were violated, or a man they're close with was sexually aggressive towards them, because of those pre-established relationships? because that's their boss, or manager, or idol?

and not telling guts - honestly, that to me oddly is evidence to prove it WAS sexual assault. i think casca's single-minded devotion to the hawks and their dream would have made it so that she wouldn't dare bring up griffith doing anything to make her uncomfortable, because everyone is already on the brink of falling apart. even before this, we see her putting everyone above herself to keep the hawks together - crying alone when she thinks no one can hear her, barely sleeping, so exhausted she becomes suicidal, there is no reason to believe she would bring up something that just upset HER. she is less important, in her own mind, than the good of the whole. it makes perfect sense that she would do exactly what she does - she cries alone by the side of the wagon and doesn't tell anyone what happened.

another thing that i want to be very clear about: the idea that because casca didn't immediately push griffith off of her, and because she didn't bring it up to guts, and because she decided to stay with him afterwards, that means it certainly can't be sexual assault? that is rape apologism. full stop. if your argument hinges on any of those things, your argument is rape apologism. this is not up for debate.

NOW - did kentaro miura in the 1990s in japan know about the nuances of how women react to sexual harassment and sexual assault? that i'm not sure about lol. the argument "this is not in line with the way i assume cishet man kentaro miura in 1996 would understand sexual assault, and therefore i don't think it was his intention to depict sexual assault" is something i can understand. that's NOT what i'm seeing though.

that being said, there is some evidence that miura DID have a very nuanced understanding of assault. here, we have griffith talking almost to himself (though casca is nearby), breaking down about how dirty he feels for sleeping with gennon.

and yet, when casca embraces him, trying to comfort him, what does he do?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

and yeah, guts kills gambino, but only because gambino tries to kill him. guts first reacts by crying and asking why?

finally, compare the above panels of casca after the wagon scene to casca after almost being raped by wylad, and after the eclipse:

i mean, this is how miura draws casca when she's fucking going through it generally, but STILL. they are similar. she's shaking while bandaging him because he's so weak, but afterwards she is unable to mask how shaken she is. i don't think her reaction is JUST because he's weak.

this is so fucking long LOLLLLLL. i'm not interested in arguing with any of the various meta posts about the wagon scene not being sexual assault directly, or discussing it with the authors. if you want an alternate perspective, one that takes into account more of casca's POV, this is for you, and i hope you found this helpful! finally i've got this all in one place

tl;dr i think due to the framing you're supposed to see griffith's intention as sexual during the scene, casca very clearly doesn't want it, if your argument that it's not sexual assault hinges on her not pushing him off immediately u suck

uhhhhh that's it

[cynettic]

hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work

Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.

Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?

Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!

A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!

Link for Part 2

Stay With Me

Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.

And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.

“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.

Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.

“Play with me!”

Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”

But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.

As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.

Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.

“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.

But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.

It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?

“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”

“My parents dont care about me!”

Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”

And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.

“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”

“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.

Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.

Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.

He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.

But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.

With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…

“Hm? Whats this?”

Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.

A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.

“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”

Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”

“Shut it!”

But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.

Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.

Inazuma was beginning to change.

“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”

The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.

It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.

“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”

Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.

The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”

You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”

“And you havent.”

Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.

“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”

He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”

You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”

It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.

But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.

“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”

In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.

And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.

_-_-_-_

You didnt expect to see him again.

Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.

With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.

Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”

You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”

He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.

“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”

Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”

“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”

You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”

“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”

Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’

Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.

“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”

Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”

“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.

Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”

“No I’m not.”

You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.

“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.

“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.

He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.

Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.

Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.

And he couldn't have you moving could he?

[rinstars]

hey is everything alright??? you kinds disappeared on us. hope everything’s okay

hiiii everyone! everything's fine. now. at the very least, everything is starting to be okay. i'm sorry i disappeared for a while without saying anything or giving u guys updates about why and if i was ever coming back. there's probably a lot of questions you guys have so ill just break it down in a single post, making it easier for u guys to find what you wanna know.

1. what happened and where were u?

thing is, the last time i was here i mentioned something about being sick and that was originally the only time i needed off. i was just waiting to get better and it wasn't supposed to stretch into a month. however, a very unfortunate incident happened where i had to be hospitalized and monitored as i sustained an injury to my already very weak knee. growing up, my right knee has always been very prone to dislocation but it wasnt too serious to the point that i could still join cheerleading and excel in it. it wasnt until i was doing a dance required for one of my classes and my knees knocked and snapped that i fell so hard crying when i realized this time it was.. bad. i had a surgery that wasn't anything too crazy and got put in a cast until i was fully recovered bc simply popping it back to place like they always did stopped working. that, too, was fine. but finding out i'd have to take it easy on dancing and possibly cut off anything that has to do with the hardcore dancing i was used to for the rest of my life to make sure it wouldn't get any worse than it already was literally depressed me and put me in a slump and i just didn't want to answer anyone and tell people all about it yet. especially not on tumblr where i know people were waiting for something ive promised to finish. i was just very out of it and wasn't sure if i was even in the right mindset to ever continue being here at the time. so there's that but now that im able to tell u all about it, it means it's gotten a lot better and u dont have to worry about my knee bc it's healing fine :") im very thankful for all the messages and i read and appreciated all of them. im sorry it took me so long to respond.

2. what's gonna happen to cfm?

the very short answer to this is im not abandoning it and will continue writing the remaining 3 parts! dont worry! you can rest easy. however, ill take this in my own pace. ill work hard to post it in 2 weeks time but it's not a promise and i'm still wrapping my head around my whole knee thing and the start of my semester. but i love the series and it means a lot to me. i want to see it finished probably more than any of u do that's why you can count on the ending that will surely come. i know ive gone so long without updating and idek if any of u will still be reading it when i post it in a few weeks! but it's a risk im willing to take because we're so close to the end! and i am so excited for all of u to see how suna and yn end up living after where i left act x on hehehe

3. im not leaving and im sorry

i feel really horrible leaving u all in the dark for like more than a month now i think. that was a dick move. if an author i follow suddenly disappeared after what happened in act x i wouldve been mad and worried too so im really sorry. i didn't want to ignore any of u. i was just in a place where i didn't feel like moving. thank u to everyone who has been very understanding with me despite not knowing what was happening. to my friends on discord that i wasn't replying to, to all my followers and readers, to everyone who reached out to my friends hoping to know if im doing well, thank u sooo much and i love and appreciate u all so much.

im sorry this got so long but i hope i answered everything! if i missed anything, please just send me more asks, ill be happy to answer them hehe. love u!