#and I don't want someone outside my house to have any ability to interact with any physical element in my home

[medicinemane]

AI is good for stuff like calculating ideal drainage paths, or monitoring power usage to try and help find places to reduce waste (possibly even managing a home's power grid), things like that

They're good when you want a model of something, because... that's basically what they are, really fast modeling programs

They really kind of... I'm coming to the conclusion that they shouldn't be used for anything to do with people, not even cause of some kind of... morality issue or something, but just because they seem to suck at anything that comes to humans

Maybe it's human bias via programmers, maybe it's that unlike physics humans can behave unpredictably... I don't know, but just descriptively all AI seems to suck at anything human related

Use it for hard and fast stuff with concrete variables like... coming up with bridge designs (which obviously must be reviewed by qualified people). Use them to sell power to the grid at peak times or whatever. Use them for stuff that there's really no wiggle room for, and keep them the hell away from people, once again not cause "oh scary AI" or something, but because... they're shit at anything to do with people

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

We will protect you. Part II

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: New information was discovered. Natsume Soseki and Karl take first step to insuring your safety.

Meanwhile, you cuddle with Paul Verlaine and Artur Rimbaud.

Warning: OOC. Stalking. People misunderstood Reader's relationship with BSD Cast. English is my second language.

Part I

Part III

____

It was late, but no one in your house were asleep.

While Ranpo, Kunikida, Yosano and Dazai were busy interrogating the robber, the rest of you searched through the house one more time to make sure, that Stalker didn't steal anything and didn't put any cameras into the house.

Thankfully, there weren't any.

Then you took a good look at your clothes and underwear, that Stalker messed up.

That's where Ango's ability came in handy. He read walls' memories.

According to them, some figure, dressed in black with a mask on their head, simply threw your clothes on the floor, and, after taking the drawer with your underwear from the desk, pour red paint on it and threw it on the floor.

Just three or four times in a washing machine and your clothes will be fine to wear.

Everyone gathered in the common room. They were in groups, discussing, what should they do with Stalker. You were waiting for the washing machine to turn off.

In an hour, Ranpo, Yosano, Dazai and Kunikida finished the interrogation.

Dazai stand in the middle of the room. His brown eyes shined.

"Interrogation was a success. And we get some information about Stalker."

________

"So... Someone paid to this man, so he can steal my phone?" You asked, while sitting between Verlaine and Rimbaud.

Dazai nodded.

"Yup. And, apparently, it was our Stalker. According to what Ango saw and what robber told us, it was the same person. And I am pretty sure, that our robber was honest, while describing them. Moreover..."

Dazai narrowed his eyes.

"Robber was instructed not to hurt you. Because, as Stalker said themselves, 'I will punish them myself. For being a wanton person who flaunted their body about as a kept person."

The room was deadly silent. You looked around. You close your eyes. Then you spoke.

"At first, I thought, that Stalker was not from the city and could stalk me only during Charity Fair. Now, there is a chance that they are from here and stalk me during Charity Fair for some different reason. That, or our Stalker have an accomplice from my university... At least, that explains the nickname "

Yosano stepped forward.

"Wait, [Y/N], don't tell me..."

You nodded.

"Not to face. But, I have heard the rumors and whispers."

Silence. If someone dropped a pin, people will turn around, started by loud noise.

You noticed, that Verlaine and Rimbaud looked ready to marched to your university and destroyed it. You were sure, that others were having similar thoughts.

You quickly stand up and raise both hands.

"They are just talking. Bark and no bite. I soon will finish the university and won't interact with them. It's not important right now. Right now, we have one important thing to do."

You cleared your throat and continue.

"As long as you don't kill anyone, you can deal with the Stalker as you want."

It seems, your words rise others' spirits. Soon everyone star whispering to each other, discussing, what they should do next.

You heard, that Arthur and Paul were talking about rooms, for some reason. Their voices were hushed, so you can't make out all of their words.

You yawn. It was a crazy day. You raise your voice again.

"Let's discuss our plans tomorrow. It's late, let's get some sleep."

Before you can turn around and walk outside the room, you felt, how someone took you by the elbow.

Paul Verlaine led you after him. Arthur Rimbaud was following after you two.

"Stay in my room tonight. You will be safe from the Stalker. Just in case the Stalker decide to foolishly strike again tonight. Arthur and I will chase him off."

Arthur reassuringly pet your shoulder.

"Don't worry, [Y/N]. You will be protected. By the way..." Arthur kissed your head. "The comments that this idiots are spitting. They aren't true, they not important. But, your comfort is important. Please, if someone tried to harras you because of the way you living... Tell us. We will help you. We will support you."

You stay quiet for a second. Then you smiled.

"Thank you. Can we cuddle tonight?"

Paul and Arthur chuckled.

"With me? Or with Arthur?"

You chuckled in return.

"In a middle of cuddle sandwich, of course."

Paul glance at you.

"With pats and scratches?"

You nodded. The perfect night awaits you.

________

The rest of the night was quiet.

You slept in Verlaine's bed. Paul's right arm was around your midsection, with his left arm he was playing with your hair. His stomach was pressed against your lower back and one leg was inserted between your knees. Paul was nuzzling your ear. You feel his soft breath on your skin.

Arthur bury his face into your neck. With one hand he was cupping your cheek, with the second hand he was petting your neck.

You feel safe and comfy. Familiar warmth were surrounding you.

Finally, for the last four years, you were feeling safe during Charity Fair.

This time, everything is going to be alright.

_____

Later that night, Natsume Soseki left the house in his cat form. Karl follows after him.

_____

This man is nowhere to be found.

Did he steal [Y/N]'s phone and ran with it?

I will find him.

But first... I will make sure, that [Y/N] take the message. They should stop staying with this people. They must become pure again.

They.... AH! What the hell?! Where did this cat come from? Go away, stop trying to scratch my legs!

No! Not my nose!

Stop biting!

Bad cat! Bad cat!

Get off my head!

AH! THE RACCOON IS TRYING TO BITE MY FEET!

PEST CONTROL!

________

For three hours a certain Calico cat and raccoon were yowling, hissing, scratching and biting a masked figure, dressed in black.

Natsume and Karl were hot on their tail. They only calmed down, when the sun start risen.

At that point, the Stalker was stuck on a tree, with Natsume scratching them and Karl growling on them from the ground. Finally, Stalker slipped and fell from the tree

They were alive, but, they will get a bump. And, perhaps, a mild concussion.

Natsume, in his human form, jumped from the tree down.

He looked at Karl.

"Mind to find me a fitting dumpster?"

Karl purred in agreement.

______

Stalker were fond in a few hours by garbage truck driver.

Unfortunately, for Stalker, they were thrown in the truck to the collected garbage, before they were spotted. Even worse, right before that, a garbage truck driver just collected garbage from the fruit shop. That disposed of some rotten durian fruits.

Stalker were thrown right in the pile of rotten durian.

The next two days, Stalker spent in a bathtub, trying to get rid of the horrible smell.

________

For you, two days passed in a blur. Every time you had to go outside, you didn't feel anyone's gaze on you. You tried to ask if others had something to do with it. Everyone was quiet about that, but Natsume and Karl do looked proud of themselves.

These two days were full of preparation for the Charity Fair.

And for the mission, 'Teach a lesson to the Stalker'.

According to the plan, every day for eight days, one group of BSD Characters will stay in or near the café, so they can chase Stalker off, if they appeared.

You strengthen up your café uniform. You glance at Calico cat. Natsume let you put a bow on him.

Natsume himself insisted on accompanying you for the next eight days. You actually managed to convince café manager to let Natsume stay with you.

Because people will buy anything, if they saw a cute cat.

For the next few days, Natsume will pretend to be Café lucky charm. This way he could always be with you and protect you, if you and BSD Cast got separated.

Natsume... Or Mii-chan meowed and jumped on your shoulders. You scratch behind his ears.

Time for the show. The next eight days will be eventful.

[prismbearer]

Thinking about the House of Hope Again

- We know others enter the boudoir, though it requires approved access. (Unless you're a freak who jumps around from balconies but like... you will not convince me that isn't by potential design.)

- I assume the concept is that the invited likely end up preyed upon by Haarlep and then Raphael's subsequent ownership of the related form is used for blackmail or his own plans. If Haarlep is truly so essential to Raphael's preferred tastes of violence and pleasure, then it's likely that would account for why Haarlep is so prized and accepted.

- I'm assuming he was not knowingly gifted to Raphael by his father personally as I find it difficult to consider Raphael would trust that person with Everything as well as seemingly permanent use of his own visage. I'd probably assume this is Haarlep using Raphael's own vanity and hubris against him to appease his true master Mephistopheles. I find it difficult to believe anything other than a contract between the two directly solidified that relationship, though maybe Raphael really fell for an appeal to his vanity... he just seems too paranoid and particular to me for that at first glance, but if it started long enough ago and he stuck around while Raphael set the foundation for his plans, perhaps trust was simply earned. But frankly we do not see them interact, for all we know it is a purely contentious relationship based off a contract and Raphael could be aware of it and despise him, devils can lie. And maybe Raphael wanted an incubus in his father's service as a power move even. But anyway, not assuming that here. I would love official lore and confirmation though.

- I don't really think Haarlep is intended to be perceived as a victim. We know he isn't trapped in that room, he leaves once he gets what he wants from you, willingly telling you of the hammers location and then lets everything fall apart and Raphael die. He's just as evil and conniving as any other devil conceivably in the setting, and even if you do kill Raphael, he is still going to use your form later for his own devices.

- Limiting the ability to transform into one of your pawns to sex when Raphael clearly sees himself as a master who is planning a very big picture plot seems lazy to me. Lots of uses of another's face, but especially if Haarlep does more than just impersonate Raphael for his pleasure. Personally I would think that the potential for use of that face outside of the hells (when we know that the hall of portals is Right There) would be hugely beneficial. In fact, why not ensnare these debtors, let Haarlep take their forms, and then use them about the prime to whatever ends Raphael desires? Maybe that's not the case at all though, perhaps Haarlep getting involved is a rarity, my point still stands with the players form however if you do that, especially if you leave Raphael alive. Especially within prior games, shapeshiftng and doppelgangers have always been not a great sign for the heroes.

- and back to, why limit the ability to force the original owner of the body with only making them experience pleasure. It would be an easy vessel by which to force these pawns or debtors to experience torture. In game even, you have a whole scene where you experience the agonies and ecstasies of the hells as a devil might, so why assume it's limited to only morally acceptable pleasure when you're evil and you have someone helpless essentially? Haarlep might even enjoy that, given the nature of the infernal. (Not me nervous that providing Haarlep your form won't always be about trying not to moan... lol.)

- it's very interesting to me that a lot the background plotting of this game is not really told in conversation. You find letters that show some of Raphael's pawns in the nobility in his room at the brothel, and one of them happens to be dead directly in front of Gortash's new throne. I would really love the notes or whatever for the worldbuilding and connections, but it's also entertaining to consider what might be unstated but potentially inferred.

- I'm wondering if I'll get more info I haven't seen yet or when I play more of my d.urge playthrough, but did Gortash essentially escape whilst having random knowledge of the crown and fuck up a part of Raphael's plot by stealing it? Was Gortash intended to be groomed and educated for that purpose and just stole it for himself instead? Did Raphael have no designs on the crown in his father's possession until after Gortash decided to steal it? Tbh I wish I had a lot more info on their past and what happened there between everything.

- My most concerning bit is if Haarlep is loyal to or contracted with Mephistopheles, and you're ultimately playing the role of a pawn in a much more cruel and powerful devils game, what would Mephistopheles do with your form in this context? If we want to think that he'll be angry about the murder of his son it's super bad news (unlikely to me tbh, I think it's more likely that Mephistopheles saw it as necessary and wanted the heroes to deal with it. Devils having connections they maintain in a familial sense is often more of a rarity, I think the only balanced one is Belial?).

- Wish you could fuck with his paintings if you planned to just sneak around and not kill him, but I imagine he'd react just as strongly to you defacing some portrait of him, NGL.

- I try not to think of the debtor made to crawl around and act like a dog or the chamberpot guy tbqh. I wish we could roast Raphael about it, cannot believe he gives the player shit for astral mind sex when his house looks like this. Raphael is like "this house is made for order and decorum" but really he's the organized chaos house person. Oh here's my 15 debtors I've driven insane through mindgames and humiliation or something ranting and crying and being chaotic af in the halls...

- Somehow I actually doubt he'd Kill You permanently if you lost the battle outside of game mechanics. Maybe kill and revive. More likely the wishing you were dead scenario, he needs more than just instantaneous gratification right? I didn't lose the fight but I do think it would be interesting if it segued into a contract that was Really Bad and the game just went on. But mechanics etc IG.

- I really feel like if we do additional content the hells would be ideal and we could base out of the House of Hope. IG if it's still Raphael's House, maybe you have some sort of arrangement idk. But anyway, would be a wonderful setting for a fucked up fancy party so we have that staple experience.

- My ideal would have been infiltrating (or perhaps by invitation) the House of Hope for a heist during a ball or party Raphael was throwing, (even for debtors or potential clients to keep it from being all devils and a lot) but I understand why they wouldn't and still loved the HoH.

[alleyyapster]

Chat, am I a rat?

Just a few minutes ago, I was drinking water from a pitcher until I suddenly had a random thought about what I would be as an animal. I've seen many people refer to themselves as a cat, a dog, or a wolf, and sometimes I'm guilty of doing the same.

But within those few seconds, I settled on a conclusion that I am a rat or I'd probably be one if I were an animal. When I came to accept this random title I placed above my head in only a matter of seconds, I had a general or vague idea of why it would come to be. I guess this post is a way for me to reflect on the feeling and articulate my previous thoughts...?

Why would you say that?

Well, I don't know, really. Maybe it's the way I live, or more specifically- survive. Whenever I'm in a situation where I feel rejected, unwanted, afraid, or even threatened, I scurry to the safest place and hide there no matter how long I starve or suffer, not wanting to face the dangers outside of my haven.

But not all rats do that, some rats can be brave!

I guess that's true, but all rats are scavengers, they live on garbage and leftovers. I'm not saying I eat shit and garbage, I'm not saying that I only eat literal leftovers either. But, when I meet someone, I immediately take the opportunity to befriend them, even if I'm only getting a semblance of what someone else would call the best person in the entire world.

For most of my life, I've only ever been known as a floater friend, whether online or offline (until recently :3). As that kind of friend, I can testify that I only receive the energy that someone else has left for me after pouring it onto someone else who isn't me.

Aside from desperately scavenging for attention from other people who'd pick anyone else but me in a room of people, here are things about rats that I relate to:

Referred to as vermins/rodents

Has been useful to mankind for being used in experiments and studies

Curious & Social to some extent

Opportunity takers

Rats are nothing more than vermin.

To people, they amount to nothing more than an inconvenience to have under their roof, a symbol of filth and an unkept environment. Ask random people what a rat is and I guarantee that several will mention the word "Vermin".

Though rats do provide benefits to us, and to other animals in the wild, and yet they're characterized and ultimately defined as a dirty organism that's ideally killed.

Am I an inconvenience? I believe so. I never believe that what I'm doing is enough, but I don't have any artistic talents or the ability to actually learn any new skills, so, to prove my worth and the value of my time to others, I take more work than I want to. Am I dirty? Not literally, but I'm mentally tainted. If people were to find out the disgusting thoughts I have in mind, I'd be no less disgusting than a rat is.

Have you been used for an experiment?

Obviously not a literal one where I'm stuck in a lab to have my brain studied and my organs tested, but I have been used for others to experiment on the kind of people they want to spend their time on, I've been used as a base for people to form their standards and expectations for people they'd want to call their friend.

Constantly left in the dirt when I ask for friendly affection when my purpose in their life has been fulfilled, I know they push me away but I try my best to stay because I'd have nothing to take from if I stay away. Doesn't that sound familiar? If a rat were to stray from a house or a nearby trashcan, they'll lose their main source of livelihood until they safely secure a new one.

Curious and social? What do you mean?

Like all animals, rats are intelligent. But being social and curious is a part of a rat's biology. Rats have the desperation and drive to survive, but curiosity also plays a role in how they'll fend for themselves in the future and how they'll find their food in the present.

I'm very curious, being curious is what urges me to socialize and interact with others. I'm curious as to how something can benefit me, I'm curious as to how someone can help me in or out of a situation, I'm curious as to how someone functions. To feed my curiosity, I socialize, I ask questions, I speak for myself, and so on.

Socializing with humankind and their own are important for rats to live, there are rats that are kept as pets and they interact with their owner to ensure a good relationship.

We all do that, I do that, but I do it desperately, like a rat would. I'll even run from a problem just like a rat would.

How can a rat be an opportunity taker?

They're naturally opportunistic eaters, they'll eat anything they find, they'll do anything they can to survive. And that can be associated with humans in so many different ways and levels, and even though I'm a weirdo, I'm definitely no exception.

I take whatever opportunity I can to rise above others, even if it means only receiving temporary pleasure from what I've done. I take an opportunity in front of me if it means I'll be okay, it doesn't matter what'll happen later, as long as I solve my problem right now.

Rats would venture out to streets, alleys, and houses to secure their next meal and to find shelter even if it means putting themselves in danger in the long-term.

That's it, thanks for reading.

P.S. I'm very sorry if this is terribly written, I usually prefer yapping IRL with my mouth, so...

[bananonbinary]

my experience with autism is so weird.

like, obviously, i'm high functioning, right? i have a large vocabulary, i score wonderfully on any type of standardized test, i was diagnosed "gifted" as a child, i understand social cues and facial expressions pretty decently and can mask extremely well for the length of time a stranger will interact with me. by any definition, i'm high functioning.

but.

i'm not.

i can't make my own food. i can't go outside. my executive function is so bad i can't problem solve extremely basic things like "there's a box on the counter where i wanted to sit." i need people to remind me to eat, and help me figure out what to eat. i ask someone else to help me any time i start a new task, just to sit in the room and tell me what steps to take. 99% of my days see me sitting in a dark, quiet room on my computer, because going out into the common areas of the house is Too Much, let alone going outside and interacting with people outside my family. any time i get any new stimulus at all (which happens like..once every two weeks) i get so stressed out that I have a complete meltdown that is EXACTLY what you think a Stereotypical Autistic Person looks like. (as one shitty doctor put it, "oh but you're not like, rocking in the corner or banging your head on the wall in your own little world." joke's on you, asshole. i AM doing that when i'm not here.) i lose the ability to communicate when faced with strangers and new situations, and sometimes just for no reason at all. this is after 6 YEARS of effort to improve.

I cannot live alone. I cannot advocate for myself in most situations. I need a high level of support, and i honestly believe my family could make a case to take away my legal rights if they wanted (thank god, they don't). by any REASONABLE metric, i SHOULD be classed as low functioning.

but.

i'm not.

i see people classed as "intellectually disabled," and "low functioning," and i'm not like them, i know it's an unbelievable privilege to be able to articulate myself in a way other people understand and listen to. i won't insult my siblings by saying i go through what they go through.

but.

but but but.

i understand them. far more than i understand the 'High Functioning' crowd. the people with jobs, and education, and errands, and their own houses. when some jackass points to a caricature of an autistic person, and expect me to laugh because surely I'M not like that, no one who's NORMAL struggles with things like that, they don't know that i'm NOT normal. i'm not low functioning, but secretly, i'm not high functioning either.

i wish i had a pithy way to tie this together. i just wish i Fit somewhere.

[talesofsonicasura]

A Funkin Chaotic Neutral

This is probably my first self insert/reader based idea I made. If you haven't known, I'm sorta in the mod based fandom of Friday Night Funkin since mentions are usually dropped in multiple posts to BF, GF and other characters popping up sometimes. Figure why not expand on that?

Anyway, this is basically Reader having the ability to summon or gain the powers from these characters. When you consider the cast whether it be from Newsground in general to other fandoms in general then we all know things are gonna get insane. Although there are implications.

First, these abilities originate from a unique building that houses a more 'direct' version of Friday Night Funkin. It allows Reader to face off various characters in rap battles or directly interact with each version's world. This is very important and here's why.

Reader can gain allies called Rappers' by beating them in these battles. Some are quite difficult to recruit or remain part of the roster so they have to be beaten multiple times. If a battle has hazards then Reader is forced to comply with them. Ex: Instakills such as Expurgation Tricky Flaming Notes if hit or KB's saw blade if not dodged in time.

These characters are split into three categories: Ace, Battle, and Support. Aces are very powerful but Reader can only bring one with them. EX: Convict from Newsground is a deadly killer who has the ability to shapeshift into anyone and gain target's entire active skillset.

Battle are characters that can fight or have combat based abilities. EX: Pico from Newsground is a gun wielder that can dish out powerful blows and is very agile. Support characters can't fight but can offer supportive abilities such as healing. EX: Skinner from Madness Combat is a doctor and has various medical experience to use.

Reader can carry up to three active Rappers and 3 backups should they need to switch. If one dies then it takes at least a day or two for the defeated to become usable. This process can be sped up by rap battling although some characters might get annoyed.

Reader is a chaotic neutral since the Rappers they can recruit are split between heroes, villains to even mercenaries. It also reduces any chance of rap battling to keep some characters from leaving their roster. Some such as Tabi are just like that in general.

Losing a rap battle does have more consequences though. These can vary depending on who their opponents is and the conditions for such a battle. Against every opponent, Reader will take on temporary aspects from Boyfriend.

These include becoming short/chibi like, minor loss in intelligence(the guy is very dumb) and being stuck having to say variations of beep boops. Uncommonly, they could take traits of their most used Rapper than just Boyfriend. Reader gets one every time they lose unless the character is kind enough to not dish out the punishment.

Some characters such as Madness Combat's Agent Torture can kill them. Thankfully, Reader has the ability to retry in a short 10 second time limit just like the game. Some characters only give limited chances and losing all of them is guaranteed death with no retries. It's best to be careful unless you want to lose your soul to Lord X.

Should this happen then the building will lay still until someone else gains ownership. Only one individual can wield the mysterious abilities inside. Passing it down to someone else is possible but this process can't be forced. A mutual agreement with no outside factors or it won't work.

Funnily enough, I do have some ideas on how to use this. Those will be saved for a different post as I don't want to make this too long. If anyone wants to do their own version of this then go ahead. Just mention the post here so everyone else can check it!

That's it for now! Until next time folks, I'll see you later. Enjoy this little song from the One Shot Mania mod, Sacrifice.flp!

[doublegoblin]

Get To Know My OC

Well thank ya kindly @gummybugg, first time I've been tagged on a game by someone who I hadn't followed/followed me (not to say I'm against it or offended just it has happened before!)

So I've done a couple of these for ocs from Rituals and Red Tape, I think it's time I covered the other bigger WIP: Abnormal Analytics.

>1 new message<

[Good evening Rico. With an influx of newer members it would ease incorporation for all parties to have a general understanding of each other. I am aware that these types of employee interaction are generally frowned upon, however please see to it that you fill this to the best of your ability; it is also best to write as if you would be speaking. -T]

1. Are you named after anyone?

A real head scratcher to start with! Well like most everyone else here at wonderful AARI I got to choose my own call sign. You know, you never really think much about a name until it's your turn to pick one ha ha! To tiptoe around any sensitive information, let's just say I'm trying to channel a certain role model. As far as out of work name, I'm named after my Uncle's Half-Brother, who also just so happens to be my [REDACTED]. That'll maybe be censored for publication...oh well, think of it like a fun mystery!

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh dear, why do I feel like X had a hand in this? Well, to the best of my honest ability, it was about three weeks ago to the hour. It had been a long shift of [REDACTED] and [EXPUNGED], so needless to say I needed a nice pick-me-up. So after cleaning my area up I made my way through [REDACTED] and stopped down to the cafeteria. I had such high hope and then they were out of my favorite flavor of cake! Now Rico is man enough to not be ashamed of shedding some frustrated tears. Thankfully I had a secret angel watching me and juuuust as I had given up hope a fresh, and I mean steaming fresh, batch of cinnamon rolls was brought out. It really is the little things!

3. Do you have kids?

[Redacted]. But, that's not that important.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

I try not to. The folks that work here don't often have the best grasp of it. So all it really serves to do is make a lot of folks upset and more of a headache later on. A couple of my buds have came a long way though...still need to make it obvious I am using sarcasm, but they catch on and we have a great laugh.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

It's gotta be their sense of humor! In a humdrum employment you really have to understand who you can and can't crack a few jokes with, and how best to let the jokes fly. Made that mistake once with T. Great boss by the way! The man can not joke around to save himself though. I don't think I've ever even seen him smile...here to put it into words I [EXPUNGED].

6. What's your eye color?

I was blessed in the genetic lottery with these deep blue peepers. They look black most of the time, but in the right light, I've got a couple of sapphires in my face.

Scary movies or happy endings?

An ending so happy it scares you! Ha ha, I joke. I'm a bit of a softy, so I want something that will make me feel all warm and cozy at the end. Something you desperately need sometimes here, what with all the [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and blood. You get used it, but like, not over it?

8. Any special talents?

I can roll my tongue! Also I'm a little rusty but I can still play a pretty mean harmonica.

9. Where were you born?

Toledo, Michigan!

10. What are your hobbies?

If the sun is high in the sky, you can catch me fly...fishing. Really most outdoorsy thing: Kayaking, swimming, and I'm even learning to scuba dive in freshwater. My dream is to one day go out to Lake Superior and see some of those underwater shipwrecks. You know? The ones with the bodies so perfectly preserved from the cold that they still look alive. Gosh, what an experience.

11. Have you any pets?

I have a short-hair calico name Susan. She is my pride and joy. I found her as a kitten outside my house one winter. The poor thing was so thin. I didn't have any hope of saving her, I figured I could at least make her last moments not horrible. But, that little fighter would not give in. That was almost three years ago. I think she has a little siamese in her, she is one vocal misses.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Whatever my folks wanted me to do to stay active. I played ice hockey for a few years, did some cross country, tried my hand at tennis which didn't last long, and some other more odds and ends. Right now I'm part of the company softball league. Go Pencil Punchers! Now the team name has quite a story. But, I'll keep that to myself for now. Can't go spoiling all the surprises.

13. How tall are you?

1.8 meters. Though I like to tell people 2.0 meters for a little confidence boost.

14. Favorite subject in school?

You would never guess by looking at me, but I was really passionate about biochem. Can't recall a lick of it anymore though. Maybe I can get a study group going with X and their teams. They're always happy to teach...or perhaps boast about their own intellect.

15. Dream job?

No fooling, where I am right now. I've got some amazing coworkers and work on such interesting things! I know everyones name here, or at least their call sign, and they know mine. Sure we bicker and snap at each other but what workplace doesn't? Heck I even get along just peachy with D, and he's the king of sourpuss castle! Don't tell him I said that. I couldn't ask for a better crew. And believe you me, I've been through quite a few in my time. Now I'm so glad you are here to join us...whoever you are, and I hope you'll stop by the studio once in a while! My door is always open! See ya!

Tagging in coach (no pressure): @asterhaze @hallwriteblr @ethaeriea @lola-theshowgrl and anyone else!

[sleepyowlwrites]

a whole heap of questions + tags

15/25/a lot of very normal questions tag, sticky pancaked by @kaiusvnoir @blind-the-winds and @mjjune

1 - do you prefer owls capybaras, or flamingos? -- I feel like this goes without saying, but owls. I'm Sleepy Owl!

2 - what is your favorite soup? -- unknown, but possibly leek and potato with bacon

3 - what is your favorite rock? -- well, opals are my birthstones and I do love them. I also love malachite and obsidian and alabaster and eilat and labradorite.

4 - choose a familiar: - very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. he loves you but will never listen to you ever - a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants - a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks -- is- is it okay if I don't have a familiar? I like animals best when I'm admiring them and not interacting with them

5 - which planet do you feel would be kind of an asshole if you met them? -- I assume Jupiter, named after mr. would have sex with a rock if it was pretty and who gets jealous in two seconds flat

6 - if you were a worm would you love me? -- idk, can worms love people? I'd assume they were all about dirt

7 - least favorite type of clothing? -- shoes with heels and bras with wires

8 - you are now in a horror movie-so sorry. chance of survival? -- depends on the genre, I think. if it's the kind where someone has to die to save everybody else, I'm the one dying

9 - would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache or the ability to talk to vegetables? -- seeing as I neither want a mustache nor don't currently have the ability to talk to vegetables, I think this is redundant

10 - what do you think of whales? -- they're cool, and like most people, I believe they belong in space

even more questions and amusing answers under the cut!

11 - are you named after anyone? -- my middle name is my mom's name

12 - when was the last time you cried? -- monday, I think. I was very tired.

13 - do you have kids? -- only all the kids and not-kids I have adopted at work and on here

14 - do you use sarcasm a lot? -- yeah, but only with the people I can trust to know exactly what I mean when I'm using it. it's a love language but I only use it if you also speak it

15 - what's the first thing you notice about people? -- hair color, I think. I am unsure why. after that it's voice and inflections.

16 - what's your eye color? -- blue, like normal greyish-blue, but the outsides are darker and the insides by the pupil are silver. I never noticed this until other people pointed it out

17 - scary movies or happy endings? -- happy endings. I don't get scared by movies in the sense that they haunt me after, but I also don't enjoy suspense at all and jump scares just remind me of my sister trying to prove that I was scared of everything when in fact I just truly detest sudden loud noises

18 - any special talents? -- I give excellent hugs, and I'm really good at explaining people's emotions back to them. I did this all through college and still now. my friends would tell me they didn't know why they were feeling some way, and I'd break it down and help them figure it out. it's nice, but so exhausting. I also read really fast.

19 - where were you born? -- 1/4 mile from my house at the hospital down the street

20 - what are your hobbies? -- explaining my nerdy thoughts to people or just to myself, writing, reading, drawing, crocheting, making art journals, watercolor, rearranging and organizing inconsequential aspects of my life, video games, buying books and tea.

21 - have you any pets? -- a dog and two cats that aren't technically mine and I prefer it that way

22 - what sports do you play/have played? -- I'm truly horrendous at most sports, but I'm an okay golf player sometimes and I did american isshinryu karate for 5 years which I was quite good at. I made it to second-degree brown (for anybody who knows) before I stopped when I went off to college

23 - how tall are you? -- 5'5"/165cm

24 - favorite subject in school? -- art and history

25 - dream job? -- I'd like be the nicest landlord with the cheapest rent for (especially students) people who need a place to stay between other places to stay and I'd write on the side. what I do now isn't so bad, actually. I enjoy many parts of it. but if I didn't live at home I couldn't afford to work there

I'd also like to echo Breezy's sentiment of having a cozy hangout shop with niche items. I really enjoy being/creating a sanctuary for people, and I'd like to do it on a broader scale, if only I didn't have to like, have so much more money already to do that

(this next set is added by me)

26 - what kind of not-usually-classified-as-nice weather do you enjoy, actually?

27 - if you had to eschew one color from your wardrobe forever, what would it be?

28 - do you have a favorite flower. if you don't know the name you can just describe it. you can google one right now if you don't have an answer.

29 - when you explain stuff to yourself in your head or out loud, do you imagine another person there who's listening, like a character from your current fixation? who's the rubber duck, or is it just you?

30. what's a candle scent that sums up your vibes? you can invent one.

@ink-fireplace-coffee @klywrites @ellatholmes @did-i-do-this-write @myhusbandsasemni @stupid-elf @oh-no-another-idea OR ANYBODY. I'M DOWN TO KNOW ABOUT ANYBODY.

[autisticandartistik]

Living with Xiao

┗ Gamer!Xiao + Fem!Reader

Summary: Gamer!Xiao has just gotten a new roommate. You. And he can't help but observe you. He's totally not a stalker :D.

Warnings: Minors do not read/interact: smut/explicit content hinted at, not really smutty butt (No pun intended) Xiao is nasty.

Note: First off, i lub u ෆ. And i made it about Xiao because he's just a short lil guy, he deserves love (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)♡.

You're just a normal girl. Living your life like anyone your age would do.

Just fresh off university and searching for a place to rent, or maybe even a small house to live in. You really don't care, as long as it's cheap and not infested by any sort of weird thing.

Finally after days of searching you found a large apartment available. It was pretty cheap too. The only catch was you were gonna get a brand new roommate, which really compromised your personal space.

But you accepted the offer anyways, since it didn't seem so bad compared to other places. And because you were running out of options.

After contacting the landlord and asking for details, you managed to pin a date and time where you could visit the apartment. Just to visit and maybe get to know who will you be living with.

That Tuesday you got up early, took a shower, and dressed up like usual, just like any other day. As you finally arrived in front of the place you texted your landlord, since he was the one giving you the tour.

Y/n: Good morning, i'm already waiting in front of the apartment, when can we start?

Landlord: O-Oh! Miss Y/n i didn't expect you this early but please come in, I'm waiting inside.

Y/n: Ok.

Just as you got up the stairs you noticed how neat and tidy the place was, paintings of questionable worth, polished walls and floors..Almost like a palace, and you wondered if the apartments would be as great.

After officially meeting the landlord and having all common pleasantries, he told you to wait, just a while because he had to talk with your future roommate before going in for the tour.

You waited patiently outside, hearing the footsteps of your landlord and someone else talking behind the closed door.

〃Behind the door〃

"B-But mister Xiao! You can't just shoo away the first person who finally wants to live here!" The Landlord whisper-yelled nervously as Xiao crossed his arms, not really wanting a roommate for anything in the world.

"I said and explicitly told you i didn't want anyone messing around my apartment." Xiao repeated, growing annoyed. "A-Ah but believe me mister Xiao! You'll change your mind when you'll get to know her!!"

Xiao stopped for a moment. "Her?" he asked slowly. The landlord took it has an opportunity and striked "W-Well, she seems like a nice girl and..O-Oh! She has a totally different schedule from yours! So you'll almost never bump into eachother."

He was still a bit skeptical but he finally surrendered, not wanting his landlord to continue pestering him any further.

But just as the door opened and you walked in, Xiao had to stop, freeze. Just for a moment. You're absolutely Xiao's type. From your demeanour to your clothes. From those tits to your chubby thighs. Everything. Was absolutely perfect.

He felt his cheeks heating up, ability to talk fading away the closer you got to him. Then when you greeted him, with that lovely smile of yours, he lost it.

It was almost as he froze, couldn't move nor look away from you. He couldn't even mutter a sentence. So he opted for the less-awkward option. Run.

He rushed to his bedroom and locked himself in, almost tripping in his haste. He heard footsteps and the landlord talking, maybe that old man will do him a favour and distract the girl from his shitty performance.

〃A week later〃

Almost a full week had passed from when you moved in, and Xiao has been locked in his room since.

He wasn't exactly locked in his room all the time, but he only left when he knew you were out or very busy in your room doing stuff. He only left to eat, get things, or to go to the bathroom, nothing else.

It wasn't like he never saw a woman before, but he never saw someone as pretty. And he knew he would explode if he saw you in the morning, messy hair down..tight pajamas on..

He blushes even thinking about it, imagine if he saw it in front of him. Not even 2D like all of his waifus.

So he tried his best to just stay in his room, play games and even stream with his online friends, never telling them that the cutest girl ever lived just a room away from him.

But one evening, Xiao really had to go to the bathroom. Even he could smell how stinky he was.

So he waited, and saw you come out of your room, dressed up with the tightest black minidress, high heels and a purse. He knew he must be blushing by now but the good thing was that you were surely going out with friends.

So he had the apartment all to himself for the night.

After you walked out of the door and closed it behind you, he rushed out of his room and into bathroom. Just for a quick shower before going back to gaming.

As he showered he thought of none other than his brand new roomie, just as he was washing his lower parts. Just the way you smiled, even the way you dressed with those tight clothes always teasing him.

"Y-You cocky little slut.." Xiao cursed, feeling his fat veiny cock starting to throb again under the shower spray.

He was basically finished so he dried up and, since his roomie was out, decided to just walk out, get some snacks and get back to his room.

He liked to walk around half naked when he didn't have a roommate, so walking naked wasn't such a big deal for him.

But just as he got out of the bathroom, hard cock still up and throbbing, he just then noticed the front door opening.

"I wonder where did i leave my phone.." she muttered to herself, not noticing Xiao for a moment. Then she saw him. Naked. Cock hard and throbbing.

Both stared at eachother for a good five minutes before Xiao broke the silence with an awkward cough.

"Uhh..Welcome back..?"

[zorilleerrant]

it's all well and good to say, "assuming a walrus existed, it would not knock on my door, but assuming a fairy existed, it might knock on my door" except that people keep insisting that a fairy existing and knocking on their door is more likely than a fairy existing at all, which makes it pretty clear you're not actually thinking rationally you're just appealing to emotion and trying to shoehorn in a rational explanation afterwards. which is fine! like it's fine to have a gut reaction and want to defend it, it's just not any more logical than have a gut reaction and wanting to defend the walrus.

I would also like to add the following facts:

in fairy stories, fairies rarely leave their natural range. usually when humans are running into fairies it's because the human stumbled (accidentally or sometimes on purpose) into the place where fairies usually are and humans usually aren't. only the rare fairy goes scouting outside of their territory

walruses, the real life animal, do leave their territory on occasion. we keep getting news articles about a rogue walrus going somewhere they aren't supposed to be

when fairies enter human areas, they don't knock on doors. they almost always meet people outside of buildings, and when they're inside buildings they usually appear inside without the knowledge of the human. if they knock at all, they knock on windows.

when walruses enter human areas, they knock on everything they can find. they're curious about the things around them, and interact with those things in a variety of ways to see what happens. they aren't afraid of humans and don't try to hide themselves. they'll usually knock on walls but a walrus has no apparent ability to distinguish between a door and a wall. also if someone knocked on your wall you'd probably think it was your door

I'm just tired of the suggestion that a fairy would knock on a door if it existed. all stories about fairies are very much to the contrary of that. even modern stories about urban fantasy fairies rarely have them going to people's houses and knocking on their door. but you can find plenty of anthropomorphic walruses, who according to children's books are mostly door to door salesmen

[moonlxt]

Most days I don't really care about not having friends, I actually have a bit of fun just existing and watching what others are doing around me not interacting with them in any way, just being an observer. Most days I don't really talk to anyone outside my house, maybe the occasional "Excuse me" or "Thanks" to a random person, but it's just that.

There are few days when it feels like my soul it's being ripped apart slowly and painfully because I'm an observer. Sometimes the sensation lasts the whole day, today it was just a few hour, but I still hate it.

Somehow it feels wrong that at the end of the day everyone is congratulating each other for their good work but no one ever talks to me, and I can't talk to them in my self assigned role of the observer. Not because I don't want to, but because some days I physically can't, I need at least 5 minutes to prepare myself mentally to talk to someone, most of the time the words I'm going to say just die in my mouth because what I was going to say wasn't important or worthy of their time.

When I still had friends I could still talk, but now that they are not here, I just suddenly went mute, like they took away my ability to form a coherent phrase leaving me with just senseless mumbling and broken sentences here and there. I just can't talk to anyone if they don't approach me first, and even then I'm still hesitating if what I said was right or wrong, if I could have phrased it differently, if I just should have stayed silent as always.

I know that being neurodivergent is normal, that there's nothing wrong with me and I should not be ashamed of who I am, yet I can't stop thinking about what am I missing, what part of me just drifted away who knows when, that left me in this condition. I can't help but think something is missing, and I know what it is, but I don't know how to get it back or if I will ever get it back. I'm so tired.

[myatuesday]

The ever-present question of...

Wtf is "wrong" with me?

+

Wtf do I do about it?

-

Today's question... is it Avoidant Personality Disorder aka AvPD? Or... is it just me?

-

I feel like I have this, but it's not been pervasive my whole life. I also was recently dx w ASD. I'm wondering which came first or one is masking itself as the other or what.

My social anxiety started at 18, but I've always been an outsider or outside of social norms. I'm ok w this minus obviously it impacts my ability to work or accomplish things.

And now I find myself avoiding more and more. I haven't been out in public since May 1 (it's July 1). I haven't seen any friends or gone on a date since... April maybe March.

When she said the thing about holding in thoughts and opinions, that's so relatable to how I felt and interacted w friends when I was 18. I'd just sit quiet in a social setting, my mind of fire, but scared of sounding stupid. Or sometimes I'd be out w friends but literally sit away from the group, distant or try to make myself smaller in some way like by sitting on the floor. Sometimes ppl thought I did it for attention which was humiliating and my worst fear. It's like dear god NO please stop focusing on me. Fuck. 😭

Now that I'm an adult and social expectations have changed, I just... don't leave the house. I don't work because I hate social interactions and nobody likes me anyway (this isn't a self esteem thing, it's a fact. My job history will make that abundantly obvious).

Interestingly enough, my self esteem is mostly fine. *I* like myself. I just know nobody else likes me. So... why the fuck am I going to subject myself to that if I'm perfectly content alone?

The problem is things like making money, doctor appts, legal stuff, etc. Then it becomes a problem. And I'm prone to meltdowns, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, etc.

I have Cancer and I'm avoiding going to the Dr. I opened a letter today, because I won't even talk to them they're sending certified mail, about an appt I missed back in April. It's July.

I'm scared to talk to them about my fears about the procedures because I don't want to seem dramatic or annoying whatever, so... I'm just sitting at home w a tumor.

Totally normal stuff.

I guess I'm just writing all this hoping someone will give me insight. Is this just ASD? Is this AvPD? Is it both? Is it something else all together?

I'm currently dx w CPTSD, Depression, multiple anxiety disorders, ADHD & ASD.

Ativan and sometimes xanax help to a degree. But I'm having issues getting these meds due to supply chain issues.

My dream is to just live on a farm or in the woods or something. Just away from society completely, in my own peaceful little world. But that requires money which would require work. So... I'm kindof just on a fucked up loop. It makes me feel suicidal often. Just the finances of it all, the pressure.

A life without other people would just be so much better. I feel like if I can't have that, life is too hard to bear mostly.

Oh. And I avoid my family too. Yes. I have for decades. I'm sure they think I'm a dick. But it's really that I'm nothing like them and just... really don't feel like dealing w it. Again, it's not that I don't like them, I just know they don't like me anyway. And I don't get the social protocol of spending time w people, that's just SUPER awkward and uncomfortable, just because they're family.

I'm an only child for whatever that's worth.

That pretty much covers it.

_

Then the question is always like...

Maybe it's not me.

Maybe society is just fucked and the fact I want nothing to do with it and am nothing like this people is actually an extremely sane response to their disordered lifestyles and behavior.

Not being able to function in a fucked up society and wanting to drop out of said society actually seems like enlightenment and self care.

Right? Right.

[shelby-love]

HANK VOIGHT

Dating the Big Boss.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): mentions of r*pe and p*dophilia (it's a tough case)

Author's note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. Especially since everyone is a lot older so I could play with maturity a little. Hope you enjoyed and sorry for the long wait! I'm just starting to get back to writing.

~

"What's up with him?" Erin whispered when she saw Voight barge into the unit's personal quarters. Hank didn't look at any of them as he strode into his office with a frown on his face.

He was angry, that's for sure.

Still hot on his tail, your senior detective self arrived right on que with him. Every pair of eyes was on you, knowing that you were the only one who had magic to calm him. You waved your hands, dismissing their burning questions all at once. You just crossed your fingers for them all to see and walked into your lover's office without knocking.

"Hank let's talk about this," You approached him carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about here Y/N."

"Yes, there is." You sat at the edge of his desk casually, although your heart was still racing upon hearing the news delivered to you this morning. "We have a serial rapist and pedophile out there. It's okay to be affected by it honey."

"Well I don't have any leads on this case," He told you strictly, although the anxiety was visible on his shoulders. He had his back turned to you and face focused on the city in front of him. The wheels turning and working in his brain were practically visible for the whole world to see.

"Then maybe we should look into our contacts and see who can help us," You proposed quietly. "This is far from over Hank. We can still turn this around."

You could see him nod, which instantly calmed you down. "Come here."

He, as surprising as it may sound, listened to your words, and walked over to your arms.

He placed his rough hands on your thighs while you ran your hands over his arms soothingly. Eventually your cold hands grasped his face as you gave him a soft look, "Do you want me to brief the team?"

"Thank you," You giggled, still not used to those words leaving his mouth.

The two of you shared a kiss before you left him alone with his thoughts to brief the team. Upon joining them you felt tension rise again, it made you remember what you were meant to do at that moment. "Is he alright?" Erin asked you quietly. You only managed to nod your head before ushering her to her seat.

Then you took a stand in front of them, a file filled with gore pictures secure in your hand. "A few days ago we found a female that was beaten, raped and murdered just outside the Riverwalk area. She was found in a dumpster just outside the Belle Hotel. Roughly 9 years old and unfortunately not the only case."

You spoke with authority that matched Voight's to a certain level. As a senior to all of them it was your job to deliver the details loud and clear. "There have been a few more cases similar to this one. Brody Thompson declared as missing just over a week ago was found two days ago in an area like this one. His left pinky was cut of just like the first victim's..." You placed a picture of a little boy on the board.

"Same MO?" Erin asked, scribbling things vigorously into her notepad. You nodded sadly.

"Are all of the victims children?" Burgess asked from the other side of the room. When you bobbed your head to her in confirmation you could practically see the heartbreak that struck her.

"We believe that we're dealing with a serial rapist and pedophile." You sighed.

"The MO is unique, and it doesn't look like he's been very careful with where he dumps the bodies," Jay notes. "It should be easy to find him since he's bound to make a mistake."

"That's where it gets tricky," You tell him, appreciating his quickness in noticing the details. "These are only cases reported in Chicago within the last few weeks. If we expand the search, which we did, there are dozens of other reported cases all around Ohio, Virginia, Rhode Island and lastly… New York."

A cool cloak of silence fell over the room once you've finished marking the spots. "Some date back to 10 years so we're looking for someone in his early to mid-forties. Maybe even older. Virginia State Police was only able to give us cases within the last 5 years, and we've hit four matches so far."

"Why are they handing the case to us? NYPD should be able to handle this." It was Alvin who had asked that question to which you opened your mouth to answer immediately.

But Hank, your boyfriend and partner, was quicker.

"Because we're the most qualified to do it," He explained, voice booming across the room. He joined your side and placed his hand on your hip; it was that after all, only the members of this very unit knew about you two. "Now, I've pulled out some old contacts from New York. They should be arriving here on the first jet they get their hands on. Until then I want you guys everywhere."

When his gaze slid to yours a twinkle of determination shone within his irises, "Let's get this son of a bitch."

***

"Sargent Benson," you greet the woman that just descended the stairs of the jet. The only people on the tarmac are the two of you and the officers you brought here. "Thank you for coming on a such short notice."

"Voight sounded stressed when he called. Is he alright?" She asked you quietly, matching your footing and walking toward the black SUV next to you.

You shook your head, "This case has been really hard on us is all. It's not every day we have cases like this one."

"Well, our job isn't pretty." She agreed. "Rape cases are already hard on their own."

"But when it's kids…"

"Do you have kids, detective?"

"None that are my own."

"Then I guess you're lucky."

"I suppose so."

***

The drive back to the district wasn't all that comfortable. Benson carried an air of importance around her that would get some rookies sweating with nerves.

Decades in this line of work showed just how good of a match you were for her.

"Hey Trudy," You greeted your friend in passing. Benson was hot on your heels as you lead her upstairs.

Upon reaching your destination you felt her walk straight pass you into Hank's arms. She brushed her hand against the lapels of his jackets when she asked him how he was doing. You felt your chest rise with jealousy but that diminished quickly when you saw him lead her to his office.

"You're not seeing that?"

"Seeing what Jay?"

The younger man narrowed his eyes at you, "She's obviously into him."

You sent him a glare. "We're not kids Jay, we're adults that lived long enough to see what's worthy being petty about and what's not."

"If you say so."

You rolled your eyes, but still went to retrieve your man, nevertheless.

***

You knocked twice before Voight let you in. "Sorry detective, this is a private conversation."

It was Benson who had told you this. You fought an eyebrow that wanted to rise.

"Y/N runs this unit as much as I do," Your boyfriend interfered. "She can stay."

You smiled, that not being able to suppress. "What do you have?"

"A possible location," She told you, still eerie about you being there.

You perked your eyes at that, taking your usual seat in Voight's office. Hank came to stand behind your chair, hands on the back of it. Olivia eyed you quietly and came to retrieve some papers. With her back turned to you both you turned your head, eyes travelling to Voight. Silently, you asked about what was going on. He only shook his head and pressed his hand against your shoulder, rubbing it in comfort.

Olivia saw the interaction and raised her brow.

***

You held your M16 in your hands securely. Officers were bustling all around you, greeting you in passing. The house in front of you looked like a fortress having god knows what protecting it. "We don't go in by force. There are still kids inside."

While the members of your unit nodded in agreement, a few voiced their distaste.

"We go in now. Cut off his ability to retaliate."

"I understand Olivia, but-"

"Sergeant."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm your sergeant. Let's keep it that way."

You gritted your teeth, seemingly offended by the fact that she had used the chain of command to put you in your place.

"My sergeant is Voight. I answer only to him," You corrected her. "I just want those kids to come out of there alive, and that's not going to be possible if we barge in. He'll panic. Kill them instantly."

"Why don't you go in then?" She proposed. "Scope and give us inside information so we can work our way around it. You find the kids and let us do the rest."

You thought about it. "I need –"

"Nothing." Your sergeant appeared by your side, eyes hard and body as still as a rock. Unlike Benson, you could see his anger. You almost reached out to calm him. "You're not doing it."

"This could be our shot." You told him.

He only shook his head, "Trust me it's not. A word, sergeant?"

She nodded and followed him.

You watched as the distance became bigger.

Jay and Adam came to stand next to you, Adam at your right side and Jay at your left.

"Holy hell." Adam muttered.

"She almost got you killed." Jay commented after him.

"Holy hell indeed guys."

***

"Hank I'm trying to do right by these kids!"

"The hell you are," Hank outright yelled at her. As the only person at the scene that had guts to stand up to her, he took the chance to put her in her place. "The way I see it you want Y/N in direct danger with no back up."

She stayed silent.

"You don't get to boss around my unit. Especially not my most trusted detective."

"Oh, come on Hank." She sighed, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"You're here to assist. The case is still mine so don't get ahead of yourself."

And with that, he left her to be.

"We're waiting for him. SWAT is on standby."

You smiled gratefully at him before mouthing a thank you.

***

"You did great today," You complimented him, smiling from ear to ear. All the children that went missing within the last few weeks have been found alive. Wounded yes, but alive. And the man was, much to your satisfaction, shot dead when he tried to run. By none other than yourself. Being able to put down a monster like him brought you satisfaction.

It brought Hank pride too.

He pulled you in by the hip and rested your back against the wall. Chicago was lightly lit up outside, bringing peaceful atmosphere to the district. Your fingers brushed against his rigid jawline; eyes locked with his.

Kisses between you two were shared ever so often at work. While you would both usually leave to the privacy of your home, today was a day you both needed reassurances immediately.

Your lips were pressed together and moving in a way possible for only people with experience.

When someone opened the door without knocking, you pushed him away in fright. Hank didn't even stumble as he narrowed his eyes at the person who had intruded.

"Sergeant Benson?!" You shrieked, cheeks flushing a bright red.

"It all makes sense now." She mused.

MASTERLIST

[ouyangzizhensdad]

No we do not need to start a notallamericans hashtag. I'm an American and I hate this country it sucks. The world doesn't revolve around The US. Shit on America all you want. Trust me no one hates The US more than Americans. Of course things that are not American should stay that way, such as the word gege should be kept as gege and not big brother. What I'm saying is that fandom seems to dislike westerners who genuinely want to learn about another culture and see things from outside of the American perspective. People who like MZDS and don't want to change it in anyway shape or form. Those people who actively try to learn about the culture and educate themselves seem to be discouraged from doing so. They are told they are not allowed to like MZDS or MXTX and that they should not be allowed to be in participate in the fandom. People who aren't Chinese will never fully understand the culture so maybe it would have been better if MZDS only stayed Chinese and then there wouldn't be so much discourse.

Hi anon,

I'm just assuming you're the same anon from the last ask. I think the discussions that were had today do not touch upon the fandom disliking "westerners who genuinely want to learn about another culture". The latest drama and vagueing has to do with an american translator saying the "fantranslation" (ie the official English translation done by someone who also did fantranslations) was bad because it did not localise everything. So we're in an entirely different ballpark.

I have not come across people who are actively, actually saying that westerners should not like mdzs or participate in the fandom at all. That being said, if some people expressed this opinion, we have to understand it in context. Fans' interpretations and headcanons can verge really easily into the culturally insensitive and racist: from the top of my head I can think very quickly of the incest drama about sect 'siblings' or about the use of 'gege' as an endearment. That's not even talking about when these discussions get into questions of morality and good/bad, or questions of "representation". And this must be put into perspective since fandom micro-aggressions do not happen in isolation; they are added to the micro-aggressions and experiences of racism/colonialism that chinese people and chinese-diasporic people already have to face.

I think the sentiment of "People who aren't Chinese will never fully understand the culture so maybe it would have been better if MZDS only stayed Chinese and then there wouldn't be so much discourse" is, yes, very sweeping and polarising, but also mainly right 🤷‍♂️. I mean, let's not act like the chinese fandom is not full of their own in-fighting and drama. But it is true that, as people who were not the assumed audience, Westerners will miss many of the nuances or references that the author assumed the readership would know, which is not even talking about how much translation impacts our ability to access the original text; all of this contributes to the production of a world of new takes and discourses that would simply not exist if there weren't any Western fans (which is not even talking about how many of the discussions that feel relevant currently in EN-language fandom spaces simply are not in other fandom spaces). It is what it is 🤷‍♂️.

Look, I am a westerner who not only likes mdzs and interacts in the fandom but even writes meta. Obviously I don't feel like I am not allowed to do that, even when I recognise that there are aspects of the novel that are unreachable to me or which require me to rely on other people for context and explanations. But I think there is a level of discomfort that is to be expected in the process, the sort of the feeling of being guests in someone else's house. Imo, the healthy approach is not to become bitter towards people who express justified issues with the western fandom, but to learn to accept this discomfort and position as a guest. That makes it easier not to react in the defensive and to really consider the points underneath the sometimes more salty or sweeping reactions.

[gallavictorious]

“Will you suck my dick whenever I want?” Sex, Power, and the Gallavich Modes of Communication.

Becaue of reasons I want to talk a bit about the rather infamous “suck my dick” scene of 4x08.

This is a complicated scene and I have complicated feelings about it, which is pretty much the above-mentioned 'reasons' for writing this exploratory meta: when in confoundment, hash it out by putting all your thoughts down on paper. Fair warning: this is long, and since it deals with dubious consent you might want to give it a miss if discussion of that sort of thing upsets you. Same goes if you believe that Ian really is just asking for unlimited access to blowjobs, or find extensive (over)analysis of fictional works silly.

The accusation sometimes levelled at Ian in regards to this scene is that he's being manipulative and practically forcing Mickey into performing sexual acts he would otherwise not perfom, taking advantage of Mickey's emotional vulnerability to secure sexual pleasure for himself. He certainly issues an ultimatum and this scene is uncomfortable to watch because of that, but at the same time it's always seemed pretty obvious to me that endless blowjobs isn't really Ian's objective here. If that's all he wanted, he could easily get that without having to resort to extortion: finding sexual partners has never been a problem for him. No, there are other things at work, and below I try to figure out what.

Let's kick of by a quote from Oscar Wilde: “Everything is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

Because yes, this is about power rather than sex – which is another way of saying that what Ian truly wants isn't for Mickey to give him a blowjob, but for Mickey to agree to do it in spite of his initial reluctance. Which still isn't a very flattering look for Ian, because neither demanding blowjobs nor demanding your partner's submission is particularly charming (outside of negotiated kink, of course). However, I think it's fair to say that the power Ian seeks here is not the power to (permanently) place himself above Mickey, but the power to once more level the playing field between them and regain some sense of the agency and control that Ian felt he lost during the whole mess leading up to Mickey's wedding.

From the very start, Ian's been wanting more from Mickey than Mickey's been willing or able to give (not because Mickey isn't as into Ian as Ian is into him, but because of all that other shit: you know well what I'm talking about). To a large extent, Ian's been reining himself in, wary of asking too much, lest he scare Mickey off. Whenever he's openly pushed for more – trying to kiss Mickey, putting his hand on the glass, insisting that Mickey do not murder his father – Mickey has brusquely rebuffed him. However, he's had quite a bit of success with less direct methods, as when he 'gets' Mickey to kiss him by explaining that one of the reasons he likes Ned is that Ned isn't afraid to. (And for the record, I don't think this was a conscious ploy by Ian: he was simply being honest with Mickey, in a way that also conveyed his disappointment in Mickey's continued unwillingness to kiss.)

Ian's been in love with Mickey for a long time. For a long time, he doesn't tell Mickey this, which  is partly due to the above-mentioned fear of scaring Mickey off, and partly due to Ian genuinely not being sure if Mickey likes him back. (“How do you know if a guy you've been hanging out with likes you?”) But following the very obviously jealous beatdown of Ned, the kiss in the van, and the invitation to a sleep-over, Ian is finally convinced that Mickey does indeed like him too – only 3x06 happens and Mickey is not only shutting him out again, he's getting married to someone else.

But knowing what he now knows – i.e. that Mickey is in love with him – Ian doen't back off or try (to the best of his feeble ability) to play it cool. He puts himself out there, he puts his emotions on display, and he repeatedly begs Mickey not to get married.

Mickey gets married all the same.

Now, Ian has a strong sense of integrity and does not enjoy having to depend on someone else. Ian is not very good at admitting when he's wrong. Ian is proud. Because of this and quite apart from the heartbreak of losing Mickey to marriage, I'd imagine that he's feeling less than great about being scorned after having been so open about his wishes. (Well. Scorned is a somewhat strong word: Mickey's obviously still down for him, but he's not willing to give Ian what he wants – a real relationship, as Ian defines it.) As far as Ian is concerned, the situation has created a tangible power gap between them, with Mickey having the upper hand. (It might be argued that the power gap's been there the entire time, with Ian wanting more than Mickey was willing to give, but up until that point Ian has not actively asked for things Mickey's made clear is out of bounds but has accepted Mickey's marking of boundaries with a shrug and an 'oh'.)

Mickey's broken “don't” as Ian announces his intention to enlist isn't enough to bridge that gap: it's an admission of feeling, of need, but does not indicate any intention on Mickey's part to further act on that feeling. It doesn't change anything: Ian still wants a commited relationship, Mickey still wants Ian around to fuck him even while he stays married to Svetlana.

And for all that we sympathize with Mickey – which we bloody well should, because he was the victim of a horrible crime and trapped in the shittiest of situations through no fault of his own – it isn't unreasonable of Ian to not want to be the secret 'mistress' of a closeted man. He's been there, done that, and quite understandably wants more from Mickey. He isn't wrong for trying to extricate himself from that situation, even as it's utterly understandable why Mickey isn't able to give him what he wants at the time.

Life's like that, kids. Sometimes there are no good choices, and sometimes no one's at fault even though everything's an absolute mess and people get hurt. (I mean, Terry's at fault. Terry is a huge fucking cunt.)

It bears saying that Ian isn't a saint and doesn't behave perfectly in this situation: he shows little understanding for Mickey's entirely justifiable fears, and rather than telling Mickey that he loves him, he insists that Mickey admits that he loves Ian, which I do find a bit presumptuous. Ian's small smile when Mickey comes close to breaking when Ian announces his plan to leave indicates that he finds some small measure of pleasure in knowing that he's hurt Mickey the way Mickey has hurt him: though I think it's not primarily pleasure in the hurt itself, but rather pleasure in what it signifies, i.e. that Mickey does care about him too. But that isn't enough; that isn't really news.

So he enlists and that goes the way it goes and then Mickey seeks him out at the club and brings him home, to the bed Mickey normally shares with his wife. This, I think, tells Ian something; it suggests something beyond Mickey just having feelings for him. It's just a suggestion, mind, so it doesn't actually resolve anything, but it's enough of a something that Ian's willing to have a conversation about possibly returning when Mickey comes to see him at the Gallagher house.

But Ian has a problem. If he simply goes back to be being with Mickey without anything changing he has effectively agreed to the sort of arrangement he joined the army to very pointedly escape. Quite apart from him not wanting that sort of relationship, it would signify a failure to proud guy Ian, and following his failure to even make it through basic, I think that's not something he's willing to allow. He still wants to be with Mickey, though. Knowing that Mickey is as unlikely to divorce his wife now as he was to call off the wedding, Ian can't ask for that; he can't ask again for the type or relationship he really wants – but he can't go back to what they had previously either. This puts him in a pretty  tough spot, and I think this is why he asks for Mickey to suck his dick. While not achieving exactly what he wants it still gives him enough of a something that he feels comfortable resuming his relationship with Mickey:

Firstly, it serves to even the score and redistribute the power between them. Yes, this is him asking Mickey to submit to him and for Mickey to acknowledge Ian's power over him, but it's a request made from what Ian perceives to be a position of weakness (because of the whole Ian putting himself out there and Mickey getting married in spite of that). By momentarily placing himself above Mickey, Ian seeks balance the scales, bringing them back to an even level. This is a one-time thing, over and done with once Mickey agrees. Evidence suggests this works very well, too: look at their interactions the next day, when they're back to their normal and easy back and forth. Even so, it's a pretty fucked up thing to ask for, but we need to remember that Ian has a fairly complicated relationship with sex, given all that he's been through, and probably doesn't take this kind of thing nearly as seriously as we might want him to.

Secondly, Ian wants Mickey to commit to an emotional honesty he has so far resisted. If they can't be an official couple, he still wants that much. They were getting somewhere before Terry fucked everything up, and Ian has zero interest in going back to a relationship where Mickey pretends that it's only about the banging and shies away from any notions of an emotional involvement.

Ian wants Mickey to let himself be vulnerable with Ian, and while performing a sexual act to signify a commitment not to let things be only about sex seems pretty damned contradictory at first glance, this specific type of sexual act – which is bitch-coded in the enviroment Mickey has grown up in and which he probably finds hard to admit that he likes (until he doesn't: “I suck his dick and I love it” – but this line really supports both the idea that Mickey doesn't in fact mind sucking Ian's dick and that it's something that isn't “appropriate” for him to like; else he wouldn't have thrown it in Terry's face like that) – signifies more that just the sexual act itself: Ian knows that Mickey likes sucking his dick, and he wants Mickey to own that (as Mickey owns being a bottom): he wants Mickey to lay off the bullshit and be honest about who is and what he wants, to Ian, if not to anyone else at this point. The last time Ian asked this of Mickey, Mickey kicked him in the face, so I don't think it's too hard to see why Ian would go about it in this way rather than asking for what he really wants outright.

What he seeks here is a promise of a long-time commitment, and that's why the “whenever I want” bit is significant, because it points ahead to the future, even if Ian has no intention of enforcing the actual sucking of dicks bit.

And I think it's very important that both Ian and Mickey are ver clear about the fact that Ian will not enforce this. I think they are: for all that they have trouble communicating at times, this is the sort of subtle signalling they are pretty good at. I guess it comes down a bit to character intepretation though: I just don't think Ian would seriously ask this of Mickey, and I don't think Mickey would agree to it either. They both see this for the one-time act of submission it is, with all that it signifies and symbolizes.

(Let's be clear: if Ian had actually continued to enforce this demand, leading them down a path of a 'blow me right now or I'm leaving' that would have been pretty damned horrible. The reason I don't think this happened, apart from finding it OOC, is the complete lack of evidence that things are weird between them going forward, and if Ian had been forcing Mickey, a rape victim, into performing sexual acts, things sure as hell would have been weird between them. After this, they're back on an even footing: they sure have conflicts, which culminates with Mickey coming out [and, yes – demanding that someone come out isn't great, especially when that someone is facing the kind of threats Mickey is, but at the same time it's perfectly reasonable for Ian not to want to stay in a secret relationship: again, it's a fucked-up situation with no good choices], but they're on level fighting ground. It's not the sort of conflict resolution I'd recommend, but it apparently worked for them, and given their generally messy dynamic, I'm not really surprised.)

In fairness, Ian isn't really being nice about this whole thing, and there's absolutely some glee and triump when Mickey actually agrees to do it. A sense of vindication, surely, after what happened between them just before Ian left. But do notice that while Ian kind of does rub it in – “suck my dick, whenever I want” with that pleased smile – he doesn't in fact make Mickey say it, even though Mickey's request – “don't make me say it, asswipe” – does make it clear that if Ian demands it, Mickey will. There is an element of payback to this whole exchange, there's no denying that, but Ian's not out to actually be cruel to Mickey: he wants them to be back on even and equal ground, and he wants Mickey to own his desires and emotions.

So yeah, it's still not great by any means, and it's still uncomfortable to watch, but if we take into account Ian's somewhat causal relationship to sex in general, as well as Mickey's unwillingness both to emotionally commit and to actually talk about things, I think it's fair to say that Ian is not trying to manipulate Mickey, but rather to stand his ground and express his wishes in a way that he believes Mickey can and will play along with. (I, incidentally, think that Ian might be wrong, and that it's possible that Mickey has missed him enough and worked with himself enough that if Ian had made instead asked “will we actually talk about our feelings” Mickey would have gone along with that too, to the best of his ability – but this is actually way easier for Mickey to roll with.) It is pretty messed up, but viewed through the lense of their shared history and less than straightforward modes of communication, it does make a whole lot of sense.

To me at least – as always, feel free to disagree or add your own perspectives. I view meta as an invitation to discuss, not as a finalized argument to end discussion, and there are certainly aspects I haven’t touched upon here. And if you have seen this discussed before, I'd be super grateful if you'd point in me in the right direction.

[edengarden]

heyooo, could i request a normal BNHA matchup?

I’m a 5’2 gay male, black hair, freckles, green eyes, sort of on the chubby side? I sometimes wear glasses and either dress like a hobo, middle school boy, or femboy lol.

Anyways besides looks- I’m kind of,,, weird. I’m pagan, and I really like nature even though I’m kind of a germaphobe when it comes to being outside.I’m autistic so there's that, It’s usually hard for me to make new friends bc I come on rather,,, strong and hate the awkward first meeting phase. But when I do manage to make friends I’m always there for them in whatever they need and always do my best to help them through their problems (if they want) or just listen. I’m also selectively mute, but when I do talk I usually have a stutter, so I prefer to listen to other people talk. But when I do talk it’s usually about my special interests or something I'm into like Star Wars (a really big one atm), snakes, and the colour yellow. Speaking of snakes, I have a snake named Shigaraki and a tarantula named Princess :)

Some negative traits about me… I can be quite a jealous person. And I have these sort of sad episodes? I’ll kind of stay in my head and overthink waaayyy too much so that’s not fun. Oh another thing, I usually have a hard time telling when I should back off? Like I constantly worry about if I’m being ‘too much’ or if I should give my partner or friends some space. Oh and I’m reeallyy bad at bringing myself down and talking negatively about myself casually. And I’m hella self conscious lol-

Some things I enjoy,,, I don't do much besides work, but when I have free time I enjoy writing for my friend, story-based video games, and I really like cooking. When I have time to relax, I like to read manga and Harry potter, I don’t really read many new books anymore. Kinda random but I also enjoy knitting too lol. My hogwarts house is Slytherin, and I’m a capricorn :)

My music taste is… a bit complicated. On one hand, half of my playlist is Steven Universe songs, then I have stuff at every end of the spectrum like Dean Martin, Mother Mother, Savage Ga$p, Freddie Dredd, Corpse Husband, and a variety of J-Pop artists (don’t come for me, J-Pop is better than K-Pop), and a few random sorta indie songs scattered around my playlist. Atm my favorite songs are Verbatim, Escapism (from SU), Line Without A Hook, and Inertia.

What I look for in others, hmmm, I guess someone who can carry a conversation and is good at like, picking up on things ya know? Someone who can be really patient with me and stuff, someone who loves kids, oh and someone who’s willing to watch Star Wars with me, thats a big one lmao.

Something I’d avoid would be a disrespect of others boundaries, a really judgy person, like someone who hates on others or something they do for literally no reason, and someone who’s unnecessarily hateful to babies/toddlers/kids. Idk that one just bothers me a lot lol. And someone who gets frustrated easily, I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so thats a no go for me.

This ones kind of complicated but here’s my quirk!! I came up with it on my own so I really don’t know if someone has something similar,,,

Okay, so my hero name is Hallucino! Similar to Aizawa, my quirk activates when I look at/lock eyes with someone and the effect drops when I blink. So once they’re under the effects of my quirk, I can make them hallucinate and see any sort of setting I want. My signature setting/move is called Vertigo, it’s sort of a trippy LSD setting? So it makes the person nauseous and, well, like they have vertigo. I can create people in the hallucination, but it really wears me out and gives me a migraine. When they’re in that state they can't see the real world, and can faintly hear, but they can feel everything in the outside world. Anyways I think my quirk’s pretty damn cool.

(Wow thats so much I’m so so sorry-- also I hope it’s okay if I copy and paste this and request a Tokyo ghoul matchup? Your work is really amazing please take your time-- also sorry if it’s spaced weird I’m new to tumblr)

You can go ahead and copy paste for TG, yeah!!

Your quirk is AWESOME!! It sounds so cool 👁👄👁 I love it.

I’m matching you up with Mirio!

You got like, THE best person on your side?? An absolute ray of sunshine. He’s SO approachable, like even if he notices you’re a bit shy at first, then he’ll actively make sure that you feel comfortable around him. While buddy boy does that to everyone, he always looks forward to talking to you specifically. He LOVES when you start talking about the things that you love. He could just sit there, and listen and soak in all the information. And then when he reminds you that he WAS indeed listening by referencing to something, and your eyes light up? Mirio could cry.

I feel like this guy has little to no sense of personal bubble? I mean his quirk doesn’t exactly allow it, either... what I mean by this is that it takes a lot for Mirio to be scared off, so your autism? Not a problem, he’ll learn and he’ll be good to go. Your lack of ability to tell when to back off? He might never need to actually talk to you abt it, but if he does he knows exactly how to talk abt it in a way that won’t hurt you.

MIRIO INTERACTING WITH KIDS WILL GIVE YOU BABY FEVER I AM WARNING YOU. This guy is so sweet to kids and wowow- he’s so patient and kind and you see him at his best (and worst) and you’d fall for him so far, and sometimes you may find yourself wondering how or if he feels the same way towards you but what you don’t know is just like you’re watching him when his attention is somewhere else, he does the same for you. And if you could just see the lovesick expression on his face I swear- buddy is so deep in.

Songs!!! (Y’ALL ARE IN SOFT TERRITORIES BITCH)

- Love Like You, Steven Universe

- Sofia, Clairo

- Sad Song, Michael Barrow & The Tourists

- Soul Love, David Bowie