#and I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand that

[steven-g-rogers]

Steve shrugged.  “I think that some people just don’t like it or it doesn’t matter how much time is taken it always hurts,” he said with a shrug.  “I know you’re saying that to tell me how compatible we are, but it’s one thing and everyone is different.  I’m not saying it for reassurance.  I’m saying it because it’s true.  If you were the kind of person who was repulsed by sex, or sex caused them a lot of pain and you didn’t want it, I’d be content without it.”  He caressed her cheek and looked into her eyes. “And that’s not me saying I don’t want sex or it’s not amazing.  It is!  But we are compatible for so many other reasons I cherish so much more than the sex.  Sex is like chocolate chips on a sundae.  Chocolate chips are amazing and they taste great on a sundae, but a sundae doesn’t need to have them.  Do you get what I’m saying?”

He shook his head.  “I don’t know why I’m going on about this.  You clearly love sex.  I just - I guess I want you to understand that it’s not what’s ever driving me.  Not even today on our marathon sex day.  I just love getting a quiet day being intimate with you.”

He kissed her again, running his fingers through his hair.  “Sometimes it’s hard to believe that this is real,” he said.  “I keep thinking I’m about to wake up.”

“We don’t have to rush back into it,” she said softly. “This is what I live for. Moments like this with you. Take your time and we’ll continue when you want, when you can.” Peggy kissed his cheek in return.

“How could lovemaking not be for me - for us? When it’s like this? When you make me feel so good, so desired, so loved?” 

Peggy nodded. “Kissing and cuddling are my favorite activities. I get to just be with you and hold onto you, and to show you how I love you.” She leaned in for a kiss on his lips. “I love you, I adore you too, my darling, my Steve, Mr. Rogers. Every moment, every kiss, every touch.”

[little-jana]

"In the Depths of Thoughts"

Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x f!reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Words: 950

Summary: Reader forms a quiet, emotional connection with Spencer as they work together on a case.

It was an ordinary day in the office of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, yet everything felt different. The flickering screen in front of me, the quiet conversations of the other team members, the soft clicks of keyboards – all of it was background noise in a symphony of thoughts that only I seemed to hear. And my thoughts, they belonged only to him.

Spencer Reid.

He sat there, at his usual spot, which wasn’t just his corner of the office but the center of my universe. It was hard to explain why, but every time I looked at him, it felt like time slowed down. Like every moment I spent in his presence was more precious than the last.

I knew how he thought. I understood the way he immersed himself in his books, the way he used words to explain the world as though it were an endless puzzle only he could grasp in its depth. He was so brilliant, so unique – and so incredibly vulnerable.

Lately, I’d caught myself sneaking glances at him more than once. The way he talked to the others, how his hands moved when he developed a theory that seemed incomprehensible to most of us but was so natural to him. It was almost as if I could physically feel the flow of his thoughts moving through his body, as though his intelligence was a tangible presence.

“Have you gone through the new profile?” I suddenly heard his voice behind me. It was calm, almost too calm, as if he didn’t want to disturb me. I turned around and met his gaze. For a moment, I was frozen. It was as if his eyes were piercing right through me, as if he could read what I couldn’t bring myself to say.

“Yeah, I just finished it,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady and professional. But it was difficult when his gaze, that penetrating gaze, was so intense. The way he looked at me wasn’t uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was almost as if he was discovering me – me, not just as a colleague but as something much deeper. Something I couldn’t name, but that rose within me every time he was near.

“Good,” he said with a faint smile, which only amplified his shy charm. “If you want, we can go through it together. Maybe you’ll find something I missed.” It was the way he said it – calm, yet so inviting – that I couldn’t resist agreeing.

We sat together at a table, the screen between us, but in that moment, it felt as though everything else around us faded. Only he and I. I could feel the quiet presence of his nearness, the subtle shift in his body as he searched for his thoughts. It was almost as though we were engaged in a silent conversation – a conversation without words. Our eyes met again and again, and with each glance, something unspoken seemed to pass between us – an unspoken connection that I couldn’t explain but that was drawing me in more and more.

“You know,” he suddenly began, his voice quieter, “I admire how you always stay so calm. You have a way of interacting with people that I don’t have. I... I often don’t understand what goes on in people’s heads. But with you, you have such a calmness that I somehow... admire.” His words hit me like a soft blow to the stomach. I wasn’t sure if he realized what he had just said, but it felt like he was breaking down a wall – a wall that stood between us.

I could feel my heart racing as I looked into his eyes. “Spencer,” I whispered, “you’re… so much more than you think. You’re extraordinary. You see the world in a way no one else can. Your intelligence is... overwhelming. But it’s your empathy that really sets you apart. You understand people in a way that you might not even realize.” I paused, unsure if I should say more, but I couldn’t stop myself from continuing. “You’re not just the brilliant investigator who finds the answers. You’re someone who can delve into the deepest corners of the human mind without ever losing your humanity.”

For a moment, it was silent. The words I had spoken hung between us, floating like a delicate thread in the air. Then, slowly, almost from a distance, I felt his hand on mine. It was a careful, almost hesitant touch – but it was there. It was as if, in that moment, he allowed himself to be something more. More than just the brilliant, fact-driven agent. More than just the quiet man who never knew how to open up to others.

“I...,” he began, his voice faltering. “I don’t know how to explain it, but... sometimes I feel like I’m lost in a world of data. Like I only understand life through theories and formulas. But you... you’ve shown me that there’s more. That there are moments that can’t be captured by calculations.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I... I appreciate that more than you can imagine.”

His words hit me, and without hesitation, I squeezed his hand. “Spencer,” I said softly, “you’re not alone. Not in your world of numbers, of theories. I’m here. I’ll always be here to remind you that there’s more – more than just the facts.”

And in that moment, as time seemed to stand still, I knew there was something between us that went beyond words. Something we both understood, but never needed to speak aloud. A bond stronger than any calculation.

Part 2

[notlongtolove]

the fox and the hound

“a fox?” he repeated, and you nodded. “a vixen.” spencer doesn’t understand why you call yourself a fox, not really. so you show him. not all at once, but in pieces, small glimpses of your world that you let him catch—if he can keep up.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)

genre: fluff with a pinch of angst

content: a love story told through the allegory of a fox and a hound, mentions of metaphorical wounds

word count: 2k

note: no linked poem bc idk just thought of this and wanted to write it. mayhaps im taking this nature trope a tad too far lol but anyways i will probably come back to edit this.

a line: They don’t see it, do they? The way the fox rolls in the field when she thinks no one’s looking, laughing under her breath as she goes.

On your first date with Spencer, you’d asked him what animal he’d be. He had paused, tilting his head just slightly. He’s never understood why people ask questions like these. What animal? What color? What season? Animals are animals, colors are colors. It would be impossible to pick one to embody his entire being. Such separate realms of nature, totally different worlds, he thinks.

But you’re sitting across from him, head tilted, eyes glinting under dim light. Pretty. So pretty. He doesn’t want to disappoint you, doesn’t want you to think he’s boring or stiff or unfun. He wants to answer correctly, even though he knows there’s no “correct” answer to this.

“Maybe a golden retriever,” he said, trying to keep casual, “or a beagle. Something friendly.”

Something safe, he thinks. Something pretty girls statistically like.

You had smiled then, slow and soft, lifting the glass of whiskey to your lips, you said with all the certainty in the world:

“I’m a fox.”

“A fox?” he repeated, and you nodded.

“A vixen.” 

You didn’t explain it, just swirled your glass like you were swirling the word on your tongue. You loved the taste of it, loved the way it warmed your chest on the way down. Foxes are well-adapted to stay warm. Their thick winter coats, their long, bushy tails. They don’t need anyone to hold them when the frost bites or when the wind howls through the trees.

Spencer doesn’t understand why you call yourself a fox, not really. The dog stays close to the house. He doesn’t stray far, never been anywhere else. He doesn’t know. So you show him. Not all at once, but in pieces, small glimpses of your world that you let him catch—if he can keep up. The forest is dense, you see, the paths are winding and uneven. The shrubbery is thick, sharp branches clawing at the skin. There are logs in the way and the dog stumbles over them sometimes. You wonder if he’s getting tired, if your hidden path is too hard for him to navigate. If the spiders that weave their webs in his face and the fire ants that bite at his ankles are too painful to endure.

So, sometimes, you stop. You sit together on the forest floor, catching your breath. You wag your tails lazily and just talk.

“Why don’t you trust me?” he asks, his voice gentle but steady, the kind of tone that makes it clear he already knows the answer.

“I do,” you say quickly, instinctively.

He doesn’t push. He waits.

“I know you don’t,” he says finally, not accusing, just truthful.

You look away, fidgeting with your tail between your legs. “I’m trying,” you whisper.

“I know,” he says again, softer this time.

Because the fox knows her way through the forest. She knows every twist and turn, every trap hidden beneath the leaves. You tell the dog he’d never catch up, sometimes hiding, sometimes running faster—just to see if he’ll try. Spencer doesn’t tell you how he sees that every time you disappear into the trees, you always turn back. Always looking over your shoulder, always checking to see if he’s still behind you. 

Eventually, you reach your den. Your fur coat is scratched and bruised from the branches and the logs, the forest leaving its marks on you like it always does. But you’re here. He’s here.

Silently, you wonder how many more times you’ll have to make this journey. You don’t think you can endure another. But you don’t say it.

Instead, you take him inside.

Your den is small, cobbled together from dirt and leaves, from twigs and scraps you’ve gathered over the years. You show him your dirt mantle, how you’d packed it tight with earth and how you’d lined with relics of your life. You show him the first flower you ever found, or what’s left of it—a brittle stem, its petals long gone. You tell him the story of the hound who crushed it. 

There’s a feather on the wall, light and fragile, from the first bird you ever caught. You smile as you tell him the story of the chase, how fun it had been to run and run with your foxes until the world blurred around you. Until you were the only one left. In the corner, something glints: A metal buckle, tarnished but unmistakable. From the shoe of the first hunter who’d ever caught you.

You trace your fur with your fingers, telling Spencer your adventures and stories of the traps and the teeth, of the hunters who came with rifles and ropes. The dog sits, listening, understanding. You show him how the edges of your den are marked, too. The walls are carved with notches—five, ten, fifteen. Each one a hunter or hound you’d escaped from. You’re proud, you say, even as you run your hand over the rough lines. They’re proof you survived, that you’ve outwitted them time and time again. Not unwounded, not unbroken, but alive. 

You tell him you’re very proud of yourself.

The dog tilts his head, watching you carefully. He sees the way your voice falters when you recount the stories of cages and leashes, how your tail twitches when you mention the hunters. Spencer thinks the fox is lying.

So, the dog tries to teach the fox his ways.

He clears out your mantle first. He takes down the brittle flower stem, the feather, the tarnished buckle. Then, he takes your paw and shows you how to sniff out the bright pretty toadstools, the ones that make the forest less dark. He shows you the rain puddles, not just for drinking, but for jumping in, for splashing until your laughter scares off the birds.

Together, you fill your den with new relics. Ticket stubs from the village fair, postcards you write but never send, laughter tucked away in secret corners. Kisses, soft and warm, planted like seeds that grow slowly into something that feels like home.

Spencer rubs off the old notches on your walls with the pads of his paws, the dust of their memory falling to the floor. In their place, you make new marks. Not notches, but drawings. A fox curled in the safety of her den. A dog lying beside her, his muzzle resting on his paws.

Night after night, you curl up beneath your mantle, snouts touching, tails tucked beneath you. 

And then winter comes. Now, your walls feel too big for just a lone fox.

You see, the dog always listens to his master. He sits, he fetches, he stays. But always under command, always under the whistle’s call. And when his master calls, he has to go. Tail wagging or tucked low, he goes. 

“You’re hardly ever here anymore,” your voice cuts sharper than you meant it to. 

“Can we please not do this now,” he says almost pleadingly, his jaw tight.

For the first time, in the quiet of your den, the fox feels the cold.

The dog goes. The fox doesn’t follow. She can’t. She doesn’t belong where the dog goes—to places of shiny badges and polished shoes, of clean, carpeted floors and voices that echo off tall, glass walls. So she waits in her den, her fur bristling against the chill, her paws worn from pacing the same patch of dirt.

You try to remind yourself of who you are. A fox, sly, swift, clever. A fox, who doesn’t need to wait for anyone. 

But still, when the forest quiets, you glance toward the trees. You press your ear to the ground, hoping to catch the faintest echo of his steps, the rustle of leaves under his paws. The fox runs her fingers over the edges of the drawings, tracing the uneven lines, patching the spaces in her den where the light and the wind get in with twigs and leaves. She roams the fields, trying to race the clouds again. But she doesn’t think she runs quite as fast without Spencer beside her. She chases her tail like he taught her, spinning in quick circles, but it’s not as fun when she’s alone. She doesn’t try to catch the birds anymore. It doesn’t feel the same.

When Spencer comes back, his coat bruised and worn from his time away, the fox licks his wounds. The scrapes and the scratches, soft and slow, patching his paws with the leaves she’s saved. ​​He carries something in his teeth—a token, a peace offering, a sign that he thought of you while he was away. 

A flower. 

He’d found it near the river, petals still dewy, fragile and bright. He hopes you like it. You do.

You take it from him with careful paws, eyes tracing its delicate form before placing it on your mantle, next to the postcards and ticket stubs, next to the daffodils, peonies, dahlias, irises and all the other flowers he’s found for you over time. You think back to the brittle and dead stem you once kept and wonder if there’s any way to hold onto something that beautiful forever.

Because sometimes even beautiful flowers die.

And when it comes to fight or flight, the fox always runs. They say it’s in her blood, in her very nature to flee. So she bolts. She runs away from the den, away from the mantle and the flowers he’d collected. The fox doesn’t know if she can find flowers quite as beautiful as the ones Spencer has given her.

You don’t need the flowers, you tell yourself. You’ll find a new den, find new birds to catch, rebuild your mantle from scratch, carve new notches in your walls once more. You always do.

But the hound finds you. Bred for hunting. Tracking. Scenting. For knowing where to look and how to catch. Bred for the hunt, he always finds you. Your crouched back, tail down, ready to pounce or bolt if you have to. Every instinct telling you to run, to vanish into the underbrush before he can catch you. 

“Open the door,” a voice calls, low and insistent.

The fox is curled in the corner of this den. It doesn’t hold the warmth of the last.

“I know you’re home.”

She shuts her eyes and digs deeper into the wall.

“Open the door,” he says, voice softening, pleading. "Please."

The fox exhales, and with a shudder that shakes through her, she reaches out and opens the door. She misses her flowers.

It’s not the chase you expect. No barking, no growling. You bare your teeth. But he doesn’t move. Doesn’t even flinch. 

“What do you want?” she asks, claws sharp.

“I want to talk.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Then I’ll stay here until you do.”

And so the fox and the dog sit. They wait and wait then talk and talk. By the time the first rays of the sun creep above the treetops, the fox is laughing again. It’s a sound that is warm and bright, something that makes Spencer’s heart feel a little fuller, a little lighter. He thinks he understands now. 

They don’t see it, do they? The way the fox rolls in the field when she thinks no one’s looking, laughing under her breath as she goes. The way she finds the sunniest patch to lay in and closes her eyes, tail swishing in contentment. They only see the scars and the snarls. They don’t ever see the joy.

“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you, right?” he asks one evening.

The fox doesn’t answer right away. Her ears twitch, and her eyes flicker to the mantle.

“I don’t like the word never,” she says finally, “It feels like an impossible standard.”

The dog thinks about this, his brow furrowing. “Okay,” he says after a moment. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“I know,” she replies, and this time her voice is soft, her tail brushing lightly against his side.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!

[terf-breaker]

I don’t think enough people understand how tough it is to be a trans bull. All these cute little holes that are practically *begging* to be pumped full of cum but apparently “rape is bad”. Do you know how transphobic that is? A girl needs release. You have a cunt. I am entitled to pump that cunt full of thick girl jizz. Fuck just typing this all out is getting my gock so hard. This is exactly what I mean, why isn’t there some sloppy cunt, cis or otherwise, being stretched around my fem-bull gock

[sapphiresaphics]

I don’t know how people keep coming up with the worst takes on things, but here we are.

You wanna be logical about this? Okay fine.

Jinx locked her in the cell. She can’t get out. Even if she thinks she’s going to commit suicide, there’s nothing she can do about it. She’s locked in the cell. We don’t know how long it is before Caitlyn shows up. Could’ve been hours. There’s a war about to happen. No amount of hunting for Jinx is going to stop that. She doesn’t know where Jinx’s hideout is anyway. The chances of her FINDING her sister is slim to none now. Also, this is a prison. There are guards everywhere. Even if Jinx tries to leave, she’s likely going to get caught again and just thrown back into another cell. And even if she escapes, the possibilities are extremely low Vi will ever be able to find her and… need I remind you… a war is on the way. She’s got maybe a few hours at best before it gets here and kills everyone. She’s betrayed Caitlyn’s trust and lost her sister and she’s stuck in the cell. There’s nothing left for her.

So when Caitlyn comes in and tells her she expected to find her there and informs her that no, actually, she let her sister go and didn’t try to kill her or lock her back up and is letting go of the anger Jinx has had on her mind and that it’s okay that she tried to free her sister, Vi snaps. Because in that moment the ONLY person she has left is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn, the woman who’s been trying to kill her sister and broke up with her because Vi wouldn’t kill her sister, just informed her that she’s letting her sister go free. Which at the end of the day is all Vi really wanted.

And frankly I don’t think Vi really understands how devastated Jinx is. She comes in begging her sister to join up and fight and using her explosive potential to help out in the upcoming battle. She’s thinking of how this fight is going to get hundreds of people killed and she’s trying to build her sister up. From her point of view Jinx just needs a hug and to be told she’s special, because no matter how hard vi tries she’s always going to see Jinx as Powder. And while she has good intentions, this is NOT what Jinx needs to hear right now. Jinx is grieving and Vi is begging her to blow more shit up.

I am SO FUCKING DONE with people like you going “oh logically why wouldn’t she be trying to stop her sister from committing suicide? Why would she just fuck in a cell?! It’s such awkward timing! What bad writing!” Because you guys never stop and think about the character’s motivations.

YOU know jinx is suicidal. YOU know she is not doing well. But Vi doesn’t. Vi is blinded by Powder. She still doesn’t see Jinx or understand what Jinx has gone through. The idea that her sister is suicidal doesn’t even cross her mind. That fight in the tomb? Just her being crazy again. Jinx being theatrical again. Nothing new.

Fucking hell… that’s WHY Jinx locks her in the cell. Because even after everything they’ve gone through, she still sees her as powder. The “you’re never going to give up on me are you?” line is Jinx realizing that Vi will never truly see her as Jinx. That’s WHY she locks Vi in the cell. Because Jinx needs to leave this endless cycle and let Vi be able to move on. That’s why she tells her she doesn’t need to worry about her anymore or feel guilty and that she deserves to be happy with Caitlyn.

So yeah, they fuck in the cell because in that moment, Vi has lost everything. She doesn’t know if Jinx is alive or dead, she doesn’t know if she can find her before the war hits and potentially kills everyone and herself, and she’s gone behind Caitlyn’s back to release Jinx. She’s at her lowest point, with no time to do anything productive, and the girl of her dreams just informed her that it’s okay she betrayed her because she’s so god damn predictable and that’s something she loves about Vi, and that she’s letting her hatred of Jinx go. This is Caitlyn confirming to Vi that is was okay for her to love her sister that much. The one thing Vi has been repeatedly told by everyone around her she can’t do.

So this is VI’s emotions EXPLODING at the thought she still has one thing good left in her life. And she is going to take it NOW because this tension has been building and building for such a long time it NEEDS RELEASE. In that moment there’s no logic. No thought to the real world or what could be. It is pure emotional INSTINCT. Caitlyn has offered herself up on a silver platter and she is going to EAT.

The amount of effort you guys put into trying to misunderstand the characters, the scenes, and the intention behind the dialogue is ASTOUNDING. You should be awarded a medal for being so mind numbingly REDUCTIVE in your “criticisms.”

saw these comments on an edit on tt and they really made me stop and rethink for a second, especially the second comment ...

[maxdibert]

i saw that you used to read dramione fics and cool with hermione/krum

do you think that as a romantic ship ron is not a match with hermione? or any thoughts on ron weasley in general?

For me, the dynamic is everything in a ship. I have very specific preferences when it comes to the kind of dynamic that hooks me between two characters or the types of personalities I like. Enemies to Lovers has always been something I really enjoy, mainly because I’m a sucker for drama. I mean, I love the hard stuff: different worlds, countries at war, opposing political/social positions. The characters don’t necessarily need to be enemies, but there has to be some element that puts them on opposite sides and creates drama.

I also really love power couples—characters who are both A+ in the same field, complement each other to become even more brilliant, and have this push-and-pull dynamic with unresolved sexual tension.

In general, I’m very into the idea of two characters who have lived a lot, come from vastly different backgrounds, have been through a lot of crap, and then suddenly meet, and bam! It’s almost like a coincidence because they wouldn’t normally have crossed paths, but they do, and something unexpected comes out of it. That’s the kind of feeling I just don’t get from childhood friends to lovers. It’s something that bores me so much. I know it’s a trope many people enjoy, and I understand why, but to me, it feels super bland. Even more so if one of the characters doesn’t seem to deserve the other, like Ron, who, to me, acts like a jerk to Hermione several times. Plus, his family feels like some kind of cult.

Honestly, I think Hermione should’ve married someone in her 30s—maybe a politician or someone highly intellectual who could challenge her mentally. I picture her as a modern 21st-century woman, not just another Weasley baby-maker. I really can’t stand the Weasleys in general; they seem super toxic and have this traditional family dynamic that repels me. I firmly believe Hermione and Ron would have ended up divorcing before their 40s, once their two kids were at Hogwarts and they were left alone at home without them.

But to answer your question more directly: No, I think Ron is a boring match for Hermione. There’s no tension, just silly and childish arguments. There’s no passion, no je ne sais quoi. At least Viktor/Hermione is cute. I like it for that reason. Krum is this international star but super introverted, chased by all the girls, and suddenly he notices the one who doesn’t care about him and asks her out before anyone else. I think it’s adorable. A wholesome teenage romance that makes you smile. But honestly, since the fourth book, Ron has grossed me out in general. I see zero chemistry between him and Hermione. I imagine them having super mediocre sex, honestly, lol.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Calm Before The Storm

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: angst, trichotillomania, hurting yourself, fluff at the end

Request by @bee-1n-space: I was hoping you could possibly write a Drabble or one-shot about a fem reader that has trichotillomania, a hair pulling disorder. I have it and I tend to pull my eyebrow and eyelashes :( I was thinking a story with Jensen, possibly after reader has a hard or anxiety inducing con (if an actress) or moment and he helps her. Or if that doesn’t work, one with Dean after a hard or failed hunt!

Summary: Trichotillomania affects about ten million Americans which ranges from not that bad to severe. You’re not sure where you fall on that spectrum, but it’s safe to say that you’ve got it bad. You try not to trigger your disorder but sometimes you can’t help it. The one person you can always count on is Jensen. He makes the urges go away even for only a moment.

Square Filled: “I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?” (2022) for @spnquotebingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Something like a convention isn’t normally your scene. You’d never go to one of these alone much less with someone else. The only reason why you’re going to this one is because your best friend is asking you to. You’d do anything for Jensen even if it means going to a place that will definitely trigger your anxiety.

Before you were diagnosed, you didn’t understand why you were pulling your hair out of your head whether that be from your head or face. It's an urge that you can’t control. It was only when you got to high school that you were diagnosed with trichotillomania, a hair-pulling disorder. Your eyelashes were the target of your disorder until you turned to your eyebrows before settling on your hair. You have balding spots that you cover with bangs but it still doesn’t make up for the fact that they’re there.

Still, you’re going to this convention for Jensen and only Jensen.

The car pulls up to the service entrance not available to the public. You, Jared, and Jensen leave the car and head inside the place. The room is empty as they get everything set up, but you can hear the commotion outside as fans chat and enjoy the different events going on. You won’t be going on stage with the boys but you will be around when they take pictures with their fans.

It’s okay if they come up to you and ask for pictures. You have to tell yourself that because you’ve been shown on Jensen’s social media so often you get recognized on the street by the biggest fans of Supernatural. As they are getting set up, you walk to the huge window and look out at the streets below. There are still people coming in for the events that have a late start, and you admire the different costumes you see. Anime adaptations, superhero remakes, and more.

It’s times like these that make you wish you didn’t have your disorder. You’d love to enjoy places like these but you get claustrophobic easily so large crowds are a huge no for you.

“Hey, are you going to be okay?” Jensen asks when he walks up from behind you.

“Yeah, I have my snacks and my fidget spinner. I’ll be okay,” you smile.

Jensen pulls you in for a hug and kisses you on your head. He always shows affection like this toward you even though you wish he’d do it more often.

“Thank you for coming. I know it’s not easy for you.”

You pull away and look into his eyes.

“Anything for you.”

He leaves your side before you can say anything more. The crush you have on him grows by the second. There is no way you’re going to tell him how you feel for two reasons. One, you don’t believe he feels the same way about you. He is pretty outspoken with his feelings and he would have done it by now if he felt the same. Two, you don’t want to lose him as a friend. He’s one of the best things to ever happen to you, and you’d rather have him as a friend than not have him at all.

You leave the window and head backstage to one of the beak rooms right before the panel starts. The best thing about doing these conventions is connecting with their fans and giving back to them. There wouldn’t be Supernatural without the fans, and Jensen and Jared wouldn’t be where they are today without them.

About halfway through the panel, you get the overwhelming urge to pick at the tiny hairs on your head. The urge comes at random times and sometimes when you’re calm like now. There is nothing around you triggering your disorder yet here you are, tugging on your baby hairs by your hairline. You wrap the hair once around your finger and tug, wincing at the pain. The most painful spot is by your hairline, so you move down to your eyebrows. If you’re going to tug, may as well be at a place where you can fix it with makeup.

One by one, little hairs come out until a new bald spot forms in the middle of your eyebrows. You try to avoid your eyelashes since they just grew back from the last time you picked most of them out. The panel soon ends, and you look down at the little hairs you collected on your pants. With a sigh, you dump them into the trash can and try to forget about it.

Knowing Jensen is coming back here since the panel ended, you cover the small bald spot on your head and use your bangs to cover up the empty spot on your eyebrows as best as you can. Jensen knows you have this disorder but he doesn’t know how bad it’s gotten. You try to be okay for him because you don’t want him worrying about you. It’ll only make you feel worse.

“Hey, did you have fun?” you ask with a smile when he arrives.

“Yeah. We’re heading out now to do photo ops. You’re welcome to stay back here. This place is still rented out by us until the end of the day.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah. I think I’m getting better,” you lie.

Honestly, you don’t want to be in the back by yourself anymore. Maybe if you’re surrounded by people, you’re less likely to give in to the urges. Plus, you feel bad for not being there for Jensen in the way you said you would be.

You follow Jensen and Jared over to the room where the photo ops will take place, and you stay off to the side but close enough to Jensen if you need him. Fans come rushing into the place to check in and get in line. Before you know it, this entire place is swarmed with fans just itching to get a moment with Jensen and Jared.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emily. Do you have a pose in mind?”

“Would you be willing to do the Jack and Rose pose?”

“Sure,” Jensen laughs and stands behind the nice young woman.

“Hi, are you Y/N?” You peel your eyes off Jensen and look at the teenage girl next to you. “Oh, my God, you are. Can I get a picture with you?”

It’s okay, Y/N. Just take a picture. It’s only one person.

“Sure,” you say shyly. “What’s your name?”

“Jasmine.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jasmine.”

You tense slightly when she puts her arm around you but you don’t make her move it. You know you can if you want to but it’s only one moment. A few seconds and she’s gone. You smile at her camera and she takes a few snaps.

“Thank you so much. I just have to say, I love your relationship with Jensen. You two are so cute.”

“Oh, thank you. He’s a really good best friend.”

Jasmine must not have come alone because three more people join her side moments later. You smooth down your hair nervously and try not to give into the urge that’s screaming at you. 

“Look, it’s Y/N!”

Immediately, her friends start gushing at you about Jensen and asking for pictures. You take them purely because you don’t want to disappoint them. They got so excited when they figured out who you were, so you’d only feel worse if you rejected them.

“So, have you ever been on set to watch them film?” one of the girls asks.

“I bet they don’t get any work done. Have you seen those bloopers?” another girl chimes in.

“What do you and Jensen like to do on the weekend? Do you hang with Jared a lot?”

Questions upon questions are thrown at you without pause. The girls are too excited to give you a chance to speak. You get it. To them, you’re either a celebrity by association or you’re Jensen’s girlfriend. Either way, you have the insider scoop on their favorite actors. A few more people gather around you once they hear the commotions the teenagers are making, and your anxiety skyrockets.

Jensen hears laughter and looks over to see a group do girls crowding around you. You’re panicking. You’re trying not to let it show but you’re picking at your eyelashes subtly by rubbing your eyes and plucking off one eyelash after the other as you pull away.

“I’ll be right back. Bathroom break.”

Jensen leaves before the person in charge can say anything. He walks over to you, and the girls surrounding you giggle when they see him coming. You look at Jensen helplessly, and he pushes past the girls to get to you.

“Excuse me, ladies. Well be right back,” he smiles.

Jensen takes your hand and pulls you into one of the back rooms. It’s a break room of sorts with all kinds of food and a huge couch on the back wall.

“I’m so sorry,” you whimper. “I tried to be good for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t doing good.”

“Don’t ever be sorry for needing time away.”

“It’s just… They were all coming at once, and I didn't know what to do.”

Jensen smooths your hair back. “You don’t need to explain yourself.” He brings you to the couch and sits with you. He pulls you onto his lap comfortably before reaching into his back pocket for something. “I have something for you.” He pulls out those picky pads you can get on TikTok. “I figured you might need this.”

You love things that keep your hands busy. It keeps you from giving in to your urges. You take the picky pad and start picking out the small beads.

“I’m sorry for everything,” you sigh. “You should go back to your fans.”

“They don’t need me right now. You do.” Those words bring tears to your eyes. He doesn’t know you’re crying until he sees two tears roll down your cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

You look up at him briefly before looking back down at your picky pad.

“Please don’t hate me,” you whisper.

“Why would I hate you?”

“Because of what I have. You know, the hair-pulling thing.”

Jensen cups your cheek and gently makes you look at him

“I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love, and I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?”

You can’t help but smile at his confession. “Yeah, I do.”

He leans down and kisses your nose. He rubs your back as you go back to your picky pad.

“Will you be okay?”

You nod. “I promise this time. I’ll just stay back here until you’re done.”

“I should only have an hour left. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Jensen moves you off his lap and starts for the door. “Oh, there is another picky pad in my bag when you get done with that one.”

“Thank you,” you smile brightly.

Jensen winks and leaves you alone in the break room. Suddenly, the urge isn’t as strong as it was before, and it’s all because of Jensen.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[agreeeeeeeeeee]

Thanksgiving in Baldur's Gate 🍂༘⋆༄˖°.

| Gale Dekarios x Tav

summary: Tav cannot believe the party has never heard of Thanksgiving, a tradition from their homeland. So, they decide to throw Baldur’s Gate’s first annual Thanksgiving celebration as a reward for weeks of hard work.

cw: tooth-rotting fluff, blood, hunting excursion, implied smut and countless turkey-related innuendos. puns. warm and fuzzy feelings

an: Happy Thanksgiving, my loves! Please take some time over the next few days to acknowledge and celebrate the history of America's Native people, and educate yourself on ways to show up for them today and in the future.

ps i need someone with an ounce of artistic ability to draw Gale holding the flowers with a dopey look in his eye please I BEG

“What do you mean you’ve never heard of Thanksgiving!” Tav shouts, nearly dropping the dagger they were sharpening.

Astarion rolled his eyes. “What the fuck is there to give thanks for?”

“What is Thanksgiving, exactly?” Gale asked, gently taking the dagger from Tav’s hands so they didn’t accidentally stab anyone with their manic gesticulating. “Something from your homeland?”

“It’s a holiday, like a—” How to put it in terms they’d understand? “A feast!”

Karlach perked up. “What kind of feast?”

“It was originally this like, fucked up celebration of imperialism, but now it’s just a day where you hang out with your family, eat too much food and rest,” Tav explained to the confused party.

“Why is called ‘thankstrading’ or whatever?” Wyll asked.

“Thanksgiving,” Tav corrected. “It’s a day to be thankful!"

“Again, what the fuck is there to be thankful for?” Astarion huffed.

Tav deflated a little. “I don’t know. I thought maybe—”

“Would it make you happy, love? To celebrate this Thanksblessing?” Gale asked, placing a reassuring hand over theirs.

Tav nodded. “I just usually celebrate with my family, but since the ship picked me up…” they trailed off, that familiar sorrow wedging itself deeper into their heart.

“Then it shall be done,” Gale said, glaring at Astarion when the vampire opened his mouth to protest. “I think we all deserve a day of feasting and rest, anyways.”

“Fuck yes,” Karlach pumped her fist in the air. “So what do we need to do?”

Tav’s eyes lit up. “Well, first we have to figure out the menu. Stuffed turkey, and potatoes, and fresh bread—oh, pumpkin pie!”

“Stuffed turkey?” Astarion asked, quirking a silver brow, and Karlach snickered. “Stuffed with what, exactly?”

“Uh, stuffing?” Tav responded, rolling their eyes.

“What is ‘stuffing’?” Gale asked, fighting for his life to not crack a smile.

“Poor wizard, doesn’t know what stuffing is,” Wyll tsked, and the rest of the party burst into laughter.

Tav giggled. “It’s like bread and spices that you stuff—place—into the cavity of the bird before you cook it.”

“Stuffed with bread? Sounds awful,” Karlach wheezed, wiping tears from her eyes.

“It’s delicious! And you baste the breast with gravy and—”

Even Gale couldn’t stifle the roar of laughter that burst from him, and a flush singed Tav’s cheeks.

“Now we’re talking!” Karlach howled gleefully, clutching the infernal engine in her chest as it glowed brighter.

“W-what kind of gravy?” Halsin asked, giggling so hard he could barely get the question out.

“I take it all back. Thanksfucking sounds very interesting,” Astarion waggled his brows at Tav.

“I hate you all,” Tav slumped back against the tree, shaking their head with a chuckle.

“We’ll start with catching the bird, yeah?” Wyll asked, wrestling his expression back into a mask of calm. “Tomorrow morning?”

“Perfect,” Tav grinned, excited for Baldur’s Gate’s First Annual Thanksgiving Celebration.

Tav and Wyll rose just after dawn to set out on their hunt. Tav ordered Karlach and Halsin to collect berries, root vegetables, and whatever else they could forage around the property, and sent Astarion and Shadowheart to shop for items in town.

Gale appeared suddenly before Tav and Wyll left, dressed in freshly laundered robes, his hair clean and pushed back from his face. Achingly handsome, but hardly dressed for a hunt. “Is it alright if I join you?” Gale asked, ignoring Wyll’s eye-roll in favor of Tav’s lingering stare. “I would very much like to get some activity in before such a large meal.”

Tav snickered. “Of course, you’re one of those.”

“One of what?” Gale pestered as they ventured into the woods.

“Nothing, Gale,” Tav teased, shaking their head. There was always one nut that felt the need to run a 5k before Thanksgiving dinner, and of course, it was Gale.

“Come now, Tav,” Gale poked them in the ribs. When they continued to ignore him, he started tickling his long fingers over their side, earning a loud squeal of laughter. “Tell me!”

“Stop it!” Tav yelped, attempting to run from Gale’s gentle assault, but he caught them around the middle and hauled them back into his muscular chest.

“Tell me,” he murmured against their ear, his fingers digging into their hips as a shiver rolled down their spine.

“Enough, you too. We’ll never catch a damn thing with your incessant flirting scaring everything off within a ten mile radius,” Wyll hissed.

“We’re not flirting!” Tav argued, swatting at Gale’s hands.

“Fine, fine,” Gale huffed, releasing you. “Don’t get your gizzards in a twist.”

Tav snorted a laugh and Wyll groaned, trudging further up the path.

It was a gorgeous morning in Baldur’s Gate, sunny with a slight chill in the air, fallen leaves crunching under their boots as they walked. Leaves of every color painted the forest, bright against the cloudless, blue sky. If Tav closed their eyes, it almost felt like home.

Though, at home they didn’t have a handsome wizard at their back, who kept tripping over roots and sticks as he stared up at the trees in wonder.

“Look,” Wyll whispered, drawing their wandering attention. He crouched to the ground, pointing at something along the edge of the path. “Turkey tracks.”

“Does it have to be a turkey?” Gale asked, peering into the trees where the tracks lead. “The turkey is such an ugly beast. Surely we could do something more refined, like a goose or swan.”

“Who the fuck eats swan?” Wyll argued, straightening.

“I”m sure some people do,” Gale argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No!” Tav argued. “It has to be turkey.”

“Whatever you say, darling,” Gale purred, his tone instantly changing, sweet and smooth as summer honey.

Wyll rolled his eyes so hard, his head fell back, horns pointing behind him. “Mizora fucking save me.”

“Come.” Gale cast a spell to illuminate the tracks, revealing a winding path into the forest. “Let us apprehend you your hideous fowl.”

An hour later and they had a massive turkey in tow, Wyll carrying it over his shoulder while Tav and Gale rushed ahead to camp.

Karlach and Halsin had returned as well, with a bucket of wild potatoes, freshly pulled herbs, golden ears of corn, and several baskets of berries. Best of all, Halsin held the biggest, orangest pumpkin Tav had ever seen in his great arms.

Tav squealed with delight. “This is perfect! Thank you!”

Halsin blushed, toeing the ground with his boot. “’Course, Tav. Happy to help.”

“I’ll start a fire!” Karlach said, rushing to the pit at the center of camp.

It seemed everyone was getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, and Tav set them each to different tasks to help prepare the food. Gale was on baking duty, his wizard training and eye for finer details making him a natural at pie crust. Halsin cleaned and prepped the produce, while Wyll plucked and prepped the bird, being sure to leave the pail of blood for Astarion to enjoy later. Tav and Karlach set to put together a table and some chairs.

A while later, Gale was sitting by the fire, diligently supervising his pumpkin pie as it baked in the cast iron over an open flame, and Tav tapped him on the shoulder.

“Would you like to help me find some flowers for the table?” They asked him, an inexplicable flush creeping up their cheeks. It was just friends going to pick some flowers for a nice dinner. Not romantic in the slightest.

Gale jumped up liked they’d asked him if he wanted the elixir of life, nodding his head vigorously. “Lead the way, my fearless, uh, leader!”

Tav smiled and together they walked back into the forest, along the more traveled paths where wildflowers grew.

“Thank you for insisting we celebrate,” Gale said after awhile of walking and picking flowers, breaking the peaceful silence. “I think we all needed a little…distraction.”

Tav smiled, heart warming. “Well, if you hadn’t backed me up, we may not be. So thank you.”

“You said before that it was a celebration of being thankful.” Gale paused, turning to face them, a bundle of dandelions, mum’s, and pink snapdragons clutched in his large hands. “Can it be for anything?”

“Of course it can.” The vulnerability in Gale’s eyes made Tav’s throat close, their heart racing in their chest.

“Then, well, uh, I suppose—” Gale cleared his throat, looking at the ground then back to them. “I suppose I’m quite thankful for you, Tav.”

Tav’s heart leapt, a sweet warmth spreading through them. “I'm thankful for you too, Gale.”

Gale smiled, relief crinkling the corner of his eyes. “Here,” he said, fussing with the flowers in his hands before stepping closer and tucking a dandelion behind Tav’s ear. His hand moved to caress their cheek, admiring the way the yellow complimented their skin. “There we are,” he hummed, brushing a thumb over their cheekbone. “Beautiful.”

“Gale,” Tav murmured, leaning into his palm.

“Hmm?” His eyes lowered to their lips, lingering for a moment before flicking up to their eyes.

“They’ll be waiting for us,” Tav said, even as they began to lean in.

Gale brushed his nose over theirs, sharing labored breaths. “Let them wait.”

“Your pie might burn,” Tav teased, sliding their hand up Gale’s chest, the expensive fabric of his tunic divine under their calloused skin.

“I don’t give a damn if the whole camp burns to the ground.” Gale pressed his lips to Tav’s, as gently as he could manage for fear of startling them, and deep, contented sigh heaved from his chest. Tav fisted his tunic and kissed him back harder, a flame of desire igniting in their belly when Gale obliged, opening his mouth for Tav. They licked inside his mouth, tasting pumpkin and and a few stolen blackberries, so unbelievably sweet, and he let out a low groan.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Gale took charge of the kiss, angling their head to the perfect position for him to delve deeper. He relished in the taste of them, the smell of their skin and the eagerness of their kiss, allowing it all to wash months of uncertainty and doubt away.

The orb hummed in his chest, a lavender light beginning to glow between them, and Gale reluctantly retreated from the kiss, his eyes fluttering shut as he basked in the feeling a moment longer.

Tav’s fingers traced over the mark of the orb on his skin, admiring the way his muscled chest rose and fell under their touch, a slack, slightly dazed expression on his handsome face. “We should get back,” Tav murmured, already formulating a plan for sneaking into his tent later that night.

“Right, of course.” Gale’s eyes finally opened, their color like liquid amber, and he offered an arm to them.

They walked arm and arm back to camp, finding Astarion and Shadowheart had returned. Together, the party toiled away the afternoon cooking, decorating, and drinking, enjoying the mundane domesticity of preparing a meal.

Just before sunset, the turkey was finally finished. Tav and Astarion had spent over an hour assembling and decorating the table, and it sagged under the weight of dozens of plates of food: deep red berry jam, golden loaves of crusty breads, herb-roasted potatoes, succulent and crispy turkey with gravy poured over top.

It was everything Tav imagined, and their heart glowed as everyone took their seats. Gale sat beside Tav, topping up their goblet of wine before they stood to make a toast.

“While the circumstances that brought us together may be less than ideal, there’s no braver band of idiots I’d like to travel Baldur’s Gate with than you all. You have my endless gratitude and admiration for your sacrifices, your hard work, and for indulging my many flights of fancy.” Tav wiped a tear from their cheek, raising their goblet. The others did the same, but before Tav could finish, Gale rose.

“Sorry to interrupt, darling. But I have something I'd like to say." Gale cleared his throat. "There's a kind of magic no spell can bring, and you, Tav, you bring that that magic to our lives every day,” he said, eyes shining with affection. “To Tav!” He declared, wrapping his free arm around their waist and raising his glass with the other.

"To Tav!” The party chorused, aggressively clinking their glasses together so wine sloshed over the table.

They dug into the array of food, trading stories and laughing as the sunset and the stars winked to life, candles illuminating the table and around the camp.

“I quite like this stuffing,” Gale said quietly to Tav, placing another forkful into his mouth. “Perhaps I could show you my personal recipe a bit later?”

Tav nearly choked on their wine, heat scorching their cheeks. “After dessert?” They asked, raising a brow.

“Oh, darling. You are dessert. And I intend to eat my fill.”

“All your terrible flirting is giving me autumn-y ache,” Karlach muttered, trying to hide her smile behind a turkey leg.

“Well, I think it’s a gourd-able,” Shadowheart replied.

“I”m not drunk enough for this,” Wyll grumbled, tipping back his goblet.

“Oh, come now. The meat isn’t the only thing that needs basting,” Astarion teased, and Halsin nearly fell out of his chair from laughing so hard.

“I love it when you talk turkey to me,” Tav murmured to Gale, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

The wizard flushed scarlet and chuckled. “I think Thanksgiving might be my new favorite holiday.”

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 🍂༘⋆༄˖°.

Alsoooooo, I'm collecting ideas for some hoilday fics! If you have anything you'd like to see, feel free to leave a note in my asks! You can see everything I write for in my pinned post, and if you have an idea you don't see there, send it anyways!

[vintagepresley]

I’m almost done with it. I’ll be honest.. I only read this book because Cooper Koch loves this book and way how beautiful it is and he may be playing Jude if they actually decide to make a movie about it which I heard is possibly happening. So I’m like hmmm he keeps talking about this book and the cover caught my eye. I did a little research on it and saw a lot… ALOT of people hated it. But I just took that as people on TikTok being dramatic as always.

This book is so traumatic, tragic, painful, sad and had my emotions everywhere. I’ve never cried so much reading a book. Then I decided to see what everyone thought of it on TikTok and just doing research. I’m seeing everyone call it trauma porn and all these other things. I’ll be honest. Would I classify this book as beautiful? No. Do I understand why people describe it that way? Definitely. But it’s not beautiful to me. It’s just heartbreaking. It’s a wonderfully written book and the story and how it’s told is phenomenal. But it’s so tragic that I can’t define it as beautiful. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it or the characters. Thinking about it makes me cry.

But I don’t hate it? I think the reason why is because there are so many people out there going through what Jude had experienced and what he was experiencing with the aftermath of those things in his adulthood. Now I’m not saying these exact scenarios are happening to people. But these things do happen. The child prostitution, the child sexual abuse, physical abuse. Rape. How people deal with it, I feel sometimes is similar to how Jude was dealing with it. Refusing to see a therapist, the cutting, thinking he’s not good enough or doesn’t deserve love because he thinks he’s disgusting or that people think he is. Not being able to open up because of the fear of people seeing you differently. His difficulties with sex and his relationships with the people around him. All of that I think is what made me emotional because all I could think about is the people out there who are or who have been through this. Then myself being a victim of sexual abuse.

I think that’s what made it hard for me to hate it. Because once I saw everyone hating it.. I’m like why? This is stuff that’s happening to people. Stuff that people are dealing with and we don’t even know it because some people are afraid to talk about it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand why people DO hate it. It’s fucking wild to write as a book. Like who the fuck thinks of shit like this??? I also don’t agree with the authors opinions about how someone as traumatized as Jude should kill themselves and how she doesn’t really believe in therapy. That I think is the most ridiculous thing I heard. Therapy works if you allow it to work and you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. Suicide doesn’t need to be the answer and a lot of times therapy has saved someone’s life. So the author I don’t really like. Cause girl what… I also don’t agree with this becoming a movie. No one wants to see this on film, it’s hard enough reading about it. I love Cooper Koch and I think he’d make a great Jude especially after seeing him as Erik Menendez. But I don’t want a movie about this book. WE DONT NEED THAT.

[authenticbunni]

My highlights from “Power of the subconscious mind”

These highlights are from a book made in 1963 By Joseph Murphy, Who taught this around the us, and has given regular people that had little idea about it result of their manifestations, if this gets enough notes then I’ll make another part with the success stories from the book. The words in green are my own, for you to further understand or Apply it to modern day manifestation

Never use the terms, "I can't afford it" or "I can't do this." Your subconscious mind takes you at your word and sees to it that you do not have the money or the ability to do what you want to do. Affirm, "I can do all things through the power of my subconscious mind."

Still the wheels of your mind, relax, let go, and quietly affirm: "My subconscious knows the answer. It is responding to me now. I give thanks because I know the infinite intelligence of my subconscious knows all things and is revealing the perfect answer to me now. My real conviction is now setting free the majesty and glory of my subconscious mind. I rejoice that it is so."

Whether the object of your faith (religion) is real or false, you will get results. Your subconscious mind responds to the thought in your mind. Look upon faith as a thought in your mind, and that will suffice (be enough or adequate).

I wanted to know his method, so I asked him why he re-peated the words prior to sleep (SATS). Here is his reply, "The kinetic action of the subconscious mind continues throughout your sleep-time period. Hence, give the subconscious mind something good to work on as you drop off into slumber." This was a very wise answer. In thinking of harmony and perfect health, he never mentioned his trouble by name.

Apply the power of prayer therapy (This can be an affirmation/vaunt too) in your life. Choose a certain plan, idea, or mental picture. Mentally and emotionally unite with that idea, and as you remain faithful to your mental attitude, your prayer will be answered.

Power goes into our word according to the feeling and faith behind it. When we realize the power that moves the world is moving on our behalf and is backing up our word, our confidence and assurance grow. You do not try and add power to power; therefore, there must be no mental striving, coercion, force, or mental wrestling (basically desperation, I would explain it but it’s too much, you sorta kinda have to read the book to get it :/).

To affirm is to state that it is so, and as you maintain this attitude of mind as true, regardless of all evidence to the contrary, you will receive an answer to your prayer.

Similarly, your subconscious mind is the master mechanic, the all-wise one, who knows ways and means of healing any or-gan of your body, as well as your affairs. Decree health, and your subconscious will establish it, but relaxation is the key. "Easy does it." Do not be concerned with details and means, but know the end result. Get the feel of the happy solution to your problem whether it is health, finances, or employment (these were like the big concerns in the mid 1900s, you can replace these with your desires). Remember how you felt after you had recovered from a severe state of illness (replace that with your desire). Bear in mind that your feeling is the touchstone of all subconscious demonstration. Your new idea must be felt subjectively in a finished state, not the future, but as coming about now.

using your subconscious mind you infer no opponent, you use no will power. You imagine the end and the freedom state. You will find your intellect trying to get in the way, but persist in maintaining a simple, childlike, miracle-making faith. Picture yourself without the ailment (this means like illness, but you don’t have to worry abt this word) or problem. Imagine the emotional accompaniment of the freedom state you crave. Cut out all red tape (hard stuff or complex manifesting routine/self concept) from the process. The simple way is the best.

Do not weaken your prayer by saying, "I wish I might be healed." "I hope so." Your feeling about the work to be done is "the boss." Harmony is yours. Know that health is yours. Be-come intelligent by becoming a vehicle for the infinite healing power of the subconscious mind. Pass on the idea of health to your subconscious mind to the point of conviction; then relax. Get yourself off your hands. Say to the condition and circum-stance, "This, too, shall pass." Through relaxation you impress your subconscious mind enabling the kinetic energy behind the idea to take over and bring it into concrete realization.

[rosemariiaa]

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 02, 𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

rosie’s note: hi :), sooo don’t yell at me y’all know i’m sensitive, but yes apologies this was supposed to come out wayyy sooner but i’ve had a lot going on with my personal life i barely had time to write but luckily i finished this up! ik almost people were confused on the cliffhanger so i hope i explained it well in this chapter :) happy reading lovelies 💌

pairing: Paige x Azzi

themes: hurt/comfort, guilt, angst

enjoy!!!

march 21, 2014

The cursor blinked at me, expectant. Judging.

Her name sat on the tip of my tongue. Not the one she introduced herself with, not the nickname she had tossed at me under the swing set like it was armor. Her real name. The one she’d trusted me with just days before everything shattered.

I hovered over the keyboard. How many times had I visited this account in the past two months? More than I could count. The anonymity she clung to should have been enough to keep me from connecting the dots. But the username—UnicornPuppy35—was a clue I couldn’t ignore, not after that rainy night, not after the slippers and the shirt that practically screamed it.

Azzi.

The realization should have made me stop, made me put down my phone and walk away. She didn’t know it was me. She didn’t know I was the one lurking, soaking up every word she wrote, piecing together her sadness, her anger, her loneliness. And she couldn’t find out—not like this.

If she did… God, if she ever found out, I wasn’t sure what would happen. She’d hate me more than she already did, and I couldn’t stand to see that look on her face again.

I leaned back in my chair, running a hand over my face. The memory of her tears still burned, sharp as glass.

flashback ⤑ february 13, 2013

The rain came down hard that night, the kind of downpour that soaked through your skin and left you raw.

I didn’t know why I left the house. Maybe it was the yelling, or maybe it was the silence that followed. Either way, I ended up at the park. The swings creaked under the weight of the wind, and the only other person there was huddled on one, head bowed as rain dripped from her curls and onto her bright pink unicorn shirt.

I almost walked away. She looked like she wanted to be alone, and honestly, so did I. But something stopped me—a tilt of her head, maybe, or the way her shoulders shuddered even as she sat still.

“Hey,” I said, stepping closer. The ground squelched under my shoes.

She looked up, startled. Her eyes, wide and brown, met my baby blues for half a second before darting away. “What do you want?”

I hesitated, shrugging. “Nothing. Just… didn’t think anyone else would be out here.”

Her laugh was bitter, like she didn’t believe me. She didn’t say anything else, just looked back down at her feet, the tips of her sneakers brushing the muddy ground.

I should’ve walked away. Instead, I sat on the swing next to her.

Over the next two weeks, those nights at the park became a ritual. When the lights in our houses went out, we met under the cover of darkness, sharing pieces of ourselves with kind of fully unraveling almost everything.

She told me about the girl at school—the one who dunked her head in the toilet and called her the f-slur. Her voice cracked when she said it, and my chest ached with something I didn’t quite understand.

“She’s just a bitch,” I said, reaching out without thinking. My hand landed on her shoulder, the fabric of her hoodie rough and wet under my palm. “You didn’t deserve that.”

She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t look at me either. “It’s not just her,” she muttered. “It’s… everyone.”

The night Azzi told me about the girl at school, something in her broke. Her voice cracked, a sharp edge slicing through the usual monotone she used when talking about her day.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she said, hugging her knees to her chest. Her breath came out in shivers, her curls dripping rainwater down her back. “She just—she said I was looking at her skirt, and the next thing I know, I’m—”

Her voice wavered, and she stopped. She didn’t have to finish. I could picture it: the cold porcelain, the laughter, the humiliation.

“She has to be insecure or something,” I said quickly, fumbling for the right words. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Azzi. She’s just taking her misery out on you.”

Azzi didn’t look convinced. Her lip trembled, and she pressed her face into her knees, hiding the tears I knew were falling.

I sat there, helpless. I wasn’t good at this—comforting people, saying the right thing. But I didn’t want her to feel alone.

“You wanna egg her house?” I joked, my voice soft. “Or, I don’t know, slash her parents tires?”

She huffed a wet laugh, the sound muffled by her hoodie. “She’d probably call the cops.”

“She’s a snitch, too?” I gasped dramatically, hoping to coax another laugh out of her. “That’s it. We’re definitely egging her house.”

Azzi peeked up at me, her eyes red and puffy but lighter somehow. “You’re stupid,” she said, but there was a ghost of a smile on her face.

——-

A few nights later, that’s when things fell apart.

I was at the park first, waiting for Azzi, when a group of girls from my neighborhood showed up. I didn’t know them well, but they were loud and funny in that kind of way that made you want to laugh along just to fit in.

We were sitting on the picnic table, their chatter filling the silence, when one of them asked, “Hey, Paige, why do you always hang out with that girl?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “Who?”

“You know, that Azzi girl,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Nobody hangs out with her.”

My stomach twisted. “Why not?”

The girl snorted. “Her mom’s, like, weird. Always with a new boyfriend or whatever. It’s embarrassing. She’s just a weirdo and looks weird.”

My jaw tightened. Before I could respond, another girl chimed in, laughing. “And her hair! It’s like, doesn’t she know what a brush is?”

The table erupted in laughter, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in. I glanced at the path leading to the swings, my heart sinking.

“Paige,” a voice said behind me.

I froze.

Azzi stood there, her face pale and her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she shook her head, stepping back as if I’d physically struck her.

“Azzi, wait—” I started, scrambling off the table, but she was already turning away.

“Don’t,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “Just… don’t.”

I ran after her, catching her arm as she reached the edge of the park. “Azzi, I wasn’t—”

“Wasn’t what?” she snapped, whirling around. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her voice rising in anger. “Wasn’t laughing at me? Wasn’t sitting there while they trashed me?”

“I didn’t say anything!” I protested, my chest tight.

“That’s the problem!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “You just sat there, Paige. You didn’t even try to stop them, you let them say those things.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.

“Forget it,” she muttered, yanking her arm free. She wiped at her face angrily, her curls sticking to her cheeks. “I should’ve known better.”

“Azzi, come on,” I pleaded, my voice softer now. “It’s not like that—”

“What’s it like, then?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. “Because from where I’m standing, it’s pretty clear. I just don’t understand after all those nights I cried to you P.. how could you?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. By the time I found the words, she was already gone.

present day 2014

It’s been weeks since Azzi and I started talking online, just the two of us, anonymously. We’ve gotten comfortable—well, as comfortable as we can with the fake names and hidden identities. I try not to think about the lies I’m keeping from her, but I know deep down it’s the only way I can stay connected to her. She has to trust me, or she’ll leave. And I can’t handle that. Not again.

It’s the last day of school, and I’m practically buzzing with excitement as I head to the bus. I can’t wait to get home, and send Azzi a message—anything really. I don’t care if it’s about her puppy or the weather or something ridiculous. I just want to talk to her.

I find a seat on the bus and pull out my phone. As the bus rumbles on, I open up Blogspot. I scroll through the messages Azzi and I exchanged earlier, just before school started. I can’t help but laugh at the part where she told me her dog, Stewie, peed in her shoe. That image—her tiny, brown wiener dog peeing in her brand new sneakers—was so perfectly her. Her humor, her frustration, her charm.

I giggle, but then it hits me. The guilt. It crashes over me, sudden and sharp, like a wave I didn’t see coming. My thumb freezes over the screen, hovering over the keyboard. I look at the conversation, at the funny banter we shared this morning, and my chest tightens. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her.

If she knew who I really was, if she knew the truth about why I was pretending to be someone else… she would never look at me the same way again. She’d leave me. She would never trust me again.

I feel the tightness in my chest grow, and I look out the window, trying to distract myself. But it’s no use. The guilt is like a weight on my shoulders, pressing down harder the longer I sit with it. Every word I’ve typed to Azzi, every moment I’ve shared with her—it’s all a lie. And I hate myself for it.

But I can’t stop. I can’t let her go again. It pained me the first time…it won’t happen again.

I stare at the phone in my hand, biting my lip. What if she finds out? What if she figures it out before I can come clean?

What if? What if? What if?

The thought is too much. I set the phone down on my lap, staring out the window, hoping the weight in my chest will ease.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my lap. A new message.

unicornpuppy35: p, i just got home and stewie’s tryna eat my shoelace again. i swear this dog’s scheming.

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. My thumb hovers over the screen again. I want to reply, want to send something funny, something comforting, but all I can think about is how this isn’t real. None of it is real.

boogers_p: obviously. stewie’s prolly like, “shoelaces are phase one. world domination’s next.”

unicornpuppy35: no fr, this little dude really thinks he runs the place.

boogers_p: i mean… does he not? u literally pay rent in shoelaces and snacks.

unicornpuppy35: and socks. don’t forget the socks. he got one of mine this morning smh.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh too loud as I typed back.

boogers_p: rip to the sock. gone but not forgotten.

The typing bubble popped up and disappeared a few times before finally settling on:

unicornpuppy35: ur so ridiculous, p. u know that?

boogers_p: i’ve heard rumors.

I paused, smirking at the screen. Then, a thought hit me, and her fingers flew over the keyboard.

boogers_p: ok, real question. what’s stewie short for? or did u just look at him and go, “yup, that’s a stewie”?

There was a pause before Azzi’s response came through.

unicornpuppy35: named him after breanna stewart.

I blinked at the screen, my smile softening. Of course she did.

boogers_p: oh damn, respect. stewie’s a legend fr but no surprise you chose her.

unicornpuppy35: p, language. and duhh, hence the name.

boogers_p: my bad my bad, but u really said, “lemme name my dog after greatness.” iconic move, puppy.

I knew the nickname would get to her. It always did. The reply came fast.

unicornpuppy35: stop calling me that!!!

boogers_p: nah. it fits too good. also, it’s cute. like u.

Shit. There was a long pause before I saw the typing bubble flicker again.

unicornpuppy35: u really know how to get on my nerves, huh?

boogers_p: talent, tbh.

Azzi’s response came slower this time:

unicornpuppy35: sometimes i wonder why i even talk to u.

Paige snorted, her thumbs moving fast.

boogers_p: cuz i’m funny. and charming. and u lowkey love me. just admit it.

The reply took a moment.

unicornpuppy35: …maybe stewie loves u. that’s as close as ur getting.

I barked out a laugh, the sound drawing a curious glance from the kid across the aisle.

boogers_p: i’ll take it. tell stewie i’m his #1 fan.

unicornpuppy35: he’ll probably steal another shoelace to celebrate.

boogers_p: a king. truly.

I stared at the screen for a second longer, my chest feeling warm and tight in a way I couldn’t even describe.

unicornpuppy35: u good, peanut? u seem kinda off lately.

My fingers hesitated over the keyboard, my mouth forming into a small smile at my nickname. Azzi always asked. I didn’t know how she managed to carry so much and still notice the little things about me. God.

boogers_p: yeah, i’m straight. just tired, you know?

unicornpuppy35: don’t let it get to u p. me and stewie got ur back.

Paige swallowed the lump in her throat, her reply coming slower this time.

boogers_p: thanks, puppy. u and stewie the real mvps fr.

Pup- I mean Azzi’s reply was just a string of eye-roll emojis, but I could picture the grin on her face. I wish I could just see it for myself.

boogers_p: love u too.

So much.

I send the message, knowing I can’t keep lying forever. But for now, I’ll hold on.

——-

Paige walked into her room, shutting the door with a quiet click, as if any louder might let her thoughts escape into the world. Tossing her bag into the corner, she kicked off her shoes and peeled off her clothes, leaving a trail toward the bathroom. The hot water scalded her pale skin, but she barely noticed, the familiar ache in her chest louder than the pounding spray.

When she came out, dressed in an oversized T-shirt, her damp hair sticking to her neck, she flopped onto her bed. She should sleep. She needed sleep. But instead, her hand reached for the scrapbook tucked under her nightstand.

Opening it, her heart clenched as she stared at the first photo—Azzi on the swing set, caught mid-laugh, her curls bouncing wildly as she leaned over, her dimple deepening with every giggle. Paige could still hear the sound of it, bright and free, almost as if Azzi were right there in the room with her.

The second photo wasn’t much better. Her and Azzi at the diner for her 15th birthday, Azzi’s arm slung around hers like it belonged there. Paige could almost feel the ghost of Azzi’s touch, the warmth of her hand on her arm, the way Azzi’s voice would soften when she scolded her for cussing too much.

She flipped the page closed before she started crying again. It didn’t help.

Her fingers brush over the closed scrapbook, tracing its edges. She knows it’s pathetic to feel this way, to let herself get so tangled up in someone who probably doesn’t even think about her anymore. It’s dumb, she knows that. But it doesn’t change the way her heart clenches at the thought of Azzi laughing somewhere else, with someone else, as if Paige never mattered.

Because the truth is, she’s never felt this way about anyone before. Not like this. Not about their friendship, or whatever it used to be. Friendship doesn’t even seem like the right word anymore. It feels too small, too simple for something that made her feel whole in a way nothing else ever has.

Will you miss me, Azzi? Paige swallows hard, her jaw tightening as tears blur her vision again. Will you miss what we had? Because I do. I miss you so much it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes closing as the words spilled from her heart. God I think I’d miss you even if we never met.

Paige dragged a hand over her face, trying to will the tears back, but they came anyway, hot and relentless. She clutched the scrapbook tighter to her chest. I miss you. Every day. Every second of every day. I miss you so much it’s pathetic.

She let out a shaky laugh that turned into a sob halfway through. “It’s so dumb,” she muttered, shaking her head. But no matter how many times she said it, it didn’t make it any less true. It’s the realest thing she’s ever felt.

Because no one had ever made her feel like Azzi did. Not before, not since. She wasn’t sure anyone ever would.

She wipes at her face, but the tears won’t stop. Because no matter how much she misses Azzi, Paige knows it’s her fault she’s gone. She clings to the scrapbook, the pictures inside the only pieces of Azzi she has left. And as much as it hurts, she knows she deserves this. Every ache, every tear, every lonely second.

Because she let her go. And that’s something she can never take back.

——-

Azzi sat quietly in the backseat, her hands clammy as she rubbed them over her shorts, trying to calm the nerves that had been with her all morning. Her brothers had hyped her up about making the team, calling her the coach’s “princess,” but it didn’t help. She was still terrified. What if she didn’t make it? What if she wasn’t good enough?

She whispered to Stewie, who was in her lap, his small body a source of comfort. “What if I don’t make the team, huh? I know it’s stupid, but it keeps running through my mind… what if I mess up?”

Her mom glanced back at her from the front seat, a soft smile on her face. “You’ll do fine, Azzi. You always do.”

But Azzi couldn’t shake the unease, the thoughts spinning in her head as the car pulled into the gym parking lot. Her stomach twisted into knots, and her heart raced in anticipation. They arrived early, her mom wanting to meet the coaches first, so Azzi was the first one there.

She stepped out of the car, still trying to calm her breathing. As her mom led her inside, Azzi forced herself to smile and greet the coaches, though her mind was a hundred miles away. She excused herself once the introductions were made, eager to find the locker room and settle in before tryouts started.

The gym was empty when she walked in, the silence amplifying her every step. She meandered down the hall, her fingers grazing the walls as she took in the pictures of past players, their smiles frozen in time. She felt her nerves rise again, the pressure of what was to come weighing on her.

But as she rounded a corner, her body collided with something—or rather, someone.

“Sorry!” Azzi blurted, quickly stepping back. But when she looked up, her breath caught. There, standing in front of her, was Paige. She froze, heart pounding in her chest. Her mind screamed for her to move, to say something, anything, but her body just wouldn’t cooperate.

Paige stood there too, her mouth slightly open in disbelief, her eyes wide. The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Then, almost as if the world had shifted, Paige finally spoke her name.

“Azzi?” she whispered.

Azzi’s stomach churned, but she couldn’t stop staring at her. How? How could she be here? How had she found her, of all places? This wasn’t supposed to happen, not here, not now. Not ever.

But Paige was looking at her like she hadn’t missed a beat, like the time apart hadn’t meant anything. Azzi could see the recognition in her eyes, the same as she felt in her chest.

It was instant. Her face was older now, sharper, but it was still her. Those blue eyes. The way she stood. Even the slight tilt of her head when she was unsure of herself. Azzi hadn’t expected it to hit her this hard.

A year ago, she swore she’d move on. Swore that she’d forget what Paige meant to her. But now, standing here, all she felt was the sharp twist of memory and the burn of anger.

How could she not recognize her? Paige had been the first person to make her feel seen, to make her feel like she mattered. But she had also been the first person to hurt her more than anyone else had. Azzi couldn’t forget that. Not the way she laughed with her, not the way she’d come after her with apologies she could never quite believe.

Azzi had convinced herself she was past it. Past Paige. But now, here she was, staring at her as if nothing had changed. It was too much, too fast. Does she really think I’ve forgotten?

Paige stepped forward, her movements tentative, unsure. Azzi almost wanted to take a step back, to run, but she couldn’t move. She stood there, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between them pressing in on her.

“Azzi,” Paige said softly, her voice almost hesitant.

Azzi blinked, her heart racing. She forced herself to act like she didn’t know her, even though everything inside her screamed that she did. “Sorry,” Azzi said, her voice steady despite the tightness in her chest. “Do I know you?”

——-

rosie’s note: well..yeah!

taglist ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @pattyshome @sierrale8ne @lupinqs @ohbueckers @imaginespazzi @pazzilover101 @makethemhoesmad @d3arapril @pboogerswbb @kmoneymartini @mrsarnold @absolutelydreadful @authentic-girl03

[darkfire359]

I don’t understand why people are so upset about Christian Linke’s declaration that Viktor is asexual. Like, I don’t know anything about this creator personally, so maybe he is just homophobic on his own time or something. But as far as I can tell, he basically said two things in his interview:

- Jayce/Viktor shippers didn’t influence the writing of season 2 because they didn’t plan to take things in that direction. This shouldn’t be surprising. It also doesn’t really affect how gay Jayce and Viktor’s relationship ended up looking in practice.

- Viktor was written as being asexual from the beginning, and Linke had explicitly talked to queer Rioters ahead of time to ask what representation was lacking (they said asexuality). The latter seems like a confirmable event and thus a weird thing to lie about. So I think he genuinely did plan it from the beginning and not just decide on it as a reaction to shippers.

Now, while I’m annoyed that he seems to be conflating aromanticism and asexuality, this is kind of what I expect from the average cishet person. Honestly even queer writers like Vivziepop are guilty of this (the “ace in the hole” joke about Alastor in Hazbin Hotel is made in reference to Alastor not being romantically interested in someone). But I do prefer that writers at least *try* to write queer characters rather than just throwing out the whole thing as being too confusing.

And my impression is that they *did* try—the show had multiple points where Viktor is shown to not reciprocate Sky’s affections, as well as one point where he seems to not really understand Jayce’s interest in Mel. And of course Viktor is unbothered by having a robot body that’s incapable of sex (if only we could all upgrade ourselves like that…) In a show that doesn’t use the word “sex” or use any labels for anyone’s orientation, I think it’s hard to be explicitly clear here.

It seems like one thing people are upset about is Viktor being both disabled and asexual at the same time, and I’ll admit I don’t really understand the issue. First of all, Viktor is not the only disabled character—Sevika and late S2 Jayce are disabled as well, and it’s a particularly big issue for the former. Both of them are pretty canonically non-ace—Sevika due to the line about her visiting the brothel, and Jayce from his sex scene with Mel. I think this is like 2/5 of the characters in the whole show that are specifically non-ace.

Secondly, it seems like some of the concern with disabled characters being depicted as ace is them being seen as sexually undesirable—something clearly not the case with Viktor. Viktor is drawn / voiced very attractively (or so I gather), and in-universe he is being crushed on by Sky. Jayce also has a whole speech about how Viktor’s disability is beautiful. If the creators thought that Viktor’s disability made him unattractive in some way, they sure didn’t portray that, at all.

So yeah, I do not understand the problem with this announcement.

[communistkenobi]

this is also soo so so insane like. well even setting aside the bonkers statement “there is no inherent camaraderie in male socialization” for a second, I didn’t get a whiff of that so called divine bond of “female socialisation” prior to transitioning! I was the weirdo girl that other girls refused to hang out with, a core school memory was making friends with girls multiple times who all one day decided to stop speaking to me ever again, because no matter what I did I never “got” how to be a girl, I was made fun of and mocked and humiliated by other girls in middle and high school, the only people who hung out with me were other freaks that no one spoke to, and the slim chances I did have for participating in cissexuality and heterosexuality were deeply miserable experiences. Like what fucking female bond shit are you talking about lmfao, dysphoria made connection with any other girl effectively impossible and for years I thought I was actually genuinely insane because I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. And this experience seems pretty common for lots of trans people from everything I’ve heard and seen! These “socialisation” forces worked about as well as “straight socialisation” works on gay people.

And like even setting aside that for a second, what are you saaaaaaying girls bully each other all the fuckimg time! they bully black and brown girls they bully disabled girls they bully fat girls they bully intersex girls they bully gay girls they bully trans girls (btw where do you think these guys place trans girls in their inherent feminine bond view of reality hm?). Like these feminine bonds you are talking about are in large part formed through policing and bullying one another just like men do, because men and women are not different creatures with completely alien experiences, all of us are subject to patriarchal and white supremacist social forces. The difference with men is they have the advantage of being the beneficiaries of misogyny, which is why misogyny is such an effective bonding technique between them (and why it is so alienating if you refuse to participate in those bonding rituals). this is not some some epic genderfuck trans insight into how Gender Operates In Society, this is just repeating verbatim hegemonic default ideas about gender.

Like it’s just so alienating the way trans guys talk about transition on this website sometimes, like it’s this miserable isolating damning experience that cuts them off from humanity and makes them outcasts. And of course being transgender is hard, it can be deeply isolating and difficult, but instead of identifying any of those feelings with the broad social forces of transphobia and generalised alienation under capitalism, they turn it into this weird incel screed about how all women see them as dangerous predators now because Wamen are a different species who all exist in one big social club that they got unfairly kicked out of. Like personally I love my life way more now, it is more difficult and taxing but I get to exist as a real human being for the first time in my life and experience the world authentically. Transition saved my life, transphobia is what threatens it.

Any closeted trans guys reading this, these dudes are completely full of horseshit and are selling you misogyny repackaged as cute boy shit. women are not out to get you, they did not kick you out of the divine women club (because that doesn’t exist), you’re just a guy and being a guy is fun! the actual threats you will face come from cissexualism and transphobia, not the loss of “female socialisation.” Life does not have to be miserable. since transition I have had some of the best days of my entire life, it has made love in my life authentically possible - and I don’t mean solely romantic love, I mean I love my friends and I get to make decisions about my emotions and goals in ways I never could have even thought about before transition. I didn’t know how good it could be. A better world is possible for you as long as you don’t listen to these misogynistic creeps

It’s so funny when trans guys post shit like this. telling on yourself so bad. you are being a creepy-ass dude if every woman you meet responds to you this way like it has nothing to do with the emotional starvation of men or whatever. this is from a larger post lamenting male loneliness so I know this isn’t being said in good faith anyway, like I kinda don’t really believe this guy, but if this is true then like lmfao you are being a massive creep and weirdo if half the population refuses to smile or talk to you on a daily basis

[pazories]

A little analysis of Solas

I love the fact that in the art book Solas wanted to transform his followers into spirits without them knowing, because he saw it as giving them freedom he himself was denied to have, yet in doing so he only would’ve repeated the cycle of abuse.

That is what Inquisitor must’ve show him - that he must give his people a choice, whether it for better or for worse.

Spirits are stagnant creatures, but the modern people of Thedas aren’t. They change every day, the world changes every day, and we, as mortals, don’t have a privilege of drowning in our regrets for thousands of years. We live now, we have a very short lives to get our shit together.

The time in the Inquisition was healing for Solas and proving him wrong, because he saw how the ones he called tranquil fought for their rights, their lives, their freedom, fully knowing that it is unlikely they see any of the changes for which they contributed so hard. They did it because it was a right thing to do and because they wanted their children to live better lives, even if they never get to see it. Sounds familiar for Solas, huh?

He could never unsee that the modern people are people indeed, but he proceeded with his plan for very personal, selfish reason. In his eyes, bringing the elves back to their “original” form was his way to atone for his crimes, but in reality it was a massive projection. He could never undo the abuse he endured, hells he barely even saw what Mythal did to him as an abuse, so he tried to cope with it by resetting the world to its default state, where nothing bad ever happened to him. Would it heal him to get back in the past? No. But he doesn’t understand it, because he was so blinded by his shame, guilt and trauma that he didn’t saw the other way. He had stuck in the mindset of never having a choice, he repeats it time and time again.

But we know he has it!

We, as players, should’ve show him the beauty of this imperfect, deeply flawed world, that still deserved to exist and move forward. As this world, he deserved it too, despite the mistakes he made in the past. Because the ability to adapt, to change, to move forward, to find happiness even if we never get to be our old selves again, is what ultimately makes us human (elven, dwarven?).

This is why I always make Cole more human. It’s an unpopular decision among Solasmancers and Solas fans in general, but I love to confront him, especially in this case. Cole changed, but he stayed the same in the way it matters - he’s still compassionate and kind and loves to help people.

Solas is the same. Still wise and kind and wants the better for his people.

And I sure as hell don’t think he needs his abuser to say ‘you’re free’ to heal.

[alicewrotethis]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞﹒

ㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒synopsis!! atsumu needed a new roommate, only he didn't know what he was getting himself into. ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚౨ cw!! timeskip! a. miya x artist! oblivious! reader, sfw ﹒ ◠ note!!  and they were roommates... atsumu is so hard to write for omg, pt2 soon !! not proofread ౨ wc!! 3k  ˚ ۪˖𓏲 mood!! series playlist

"Tsumu, you need to find a new roommate. My girlfriend and I are getting serious," Atsumu's now ex-roommate explained to him. Atsumu could understand, though not really. He had never gotten too far in the relationship stages. His focus was usually on volleyball, and he couldn’t imagine himself in a serious relationship, so he never really tried.

So here he sat in his living room, on the couch, interviewing the fifth person that day for the new roommate position he’d put out on Craigslist. He was starting to regret the decision, especially since half of the people he met were... well, to put it nicely, extremely shady in his eyes.

Maybe Craigslist wasn’t the best place to post a roommate ad.

His rules were simple: don’t make a mess, be respectful of each other’s belongings, label your food items, and do not be a girl. Most of the rules seemed fair given that it was a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment.

But then there you were, sitting across from him, looking nervous as he stared you down.

"Ya' read the rules, right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

It’s not that Atsumu hated women or anything—he loved them, for the most part. He just wasn’t sure he could share the same space with someone of the opposite gender. It was something he’d never done before, and given the way his exes acted, he assumed every girl would be uptight and all up in his business all the time.

"I, uh, yes?" You tried to put on a fake smile, but the truth was, you hadn’t read the rules. You’d just applied to whatever roommate ad you first saw. You’d been kicked out by your last roommate, who refused to tell you the reasons, but you had a pretty good guess why.

You had a bad habit of leaving things out randomly, calling it your organized clutter. But everyone else called it a pigsty.

"Then what was the first rule?" He questioned.

You said the first thing that came to your mind, "Don’t talk about fight club?" Your cheeks were a deep red color.

Atsumu felt a smirk fall onto his face "Ya sure yer applyin' for a roommate and not an underground fightin' ring?" He said, amused.

"It was the first thing that came to my mind!" You shouted, embarrassed about your accidental answer. "No, I didn't read your freak rules," You muttered, crossing your arms and staring at the wooden floor.

Atsumu chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Well, if yer gonna live here, you might wanna start readin' them," he teased, leaning back into the couch.

You directed your attention to him once again, "Wait, I can live here?" You asked, a hopeful expression on your face.

Atsumu’s grin softened as he noticed the hope in your eyes. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "Yeah, ya can," he said, his voice a little more serious now. "But, ya gotta understand, this place ain't some hotel. It's full of my rules,"

Atsumu knew he needed someone to fill the position of his roommate, and truthfully he was tired of interviewing people and having to awkwardly reject them, and you seemed nice enough, plus, he could just kick you out if you weren't nice to live with.

"I'm sure I can make whatever your rules are work!" You beamed, your excitement palpable.

You were overjoyed, and grateful to have found an apartment so quickly, especially with the truck you rented due to be back in six hours.

"First off," he started, but you cut him off by raising your hand. "What?"

"Can we, uh, bring my stuff up? The truck, uh... it needs to be back in six hours..." you said, your voice wavering, as if you were almost afraid he might tell you to unload it yourself.

Atsumu’s expression softened just a little as he processed your request. The nerves were so evident in your voice, and he couldn’t help but wonder if you were just a bit too anxious for such a simple question. But the truth was, he’d been nervous more times than he could count in his life. It was the only thing that kept him from being irritated by your timid tone.

"Sure," he said, his voice dropping to something a bit gentler. "I can help ya bring it up, no problem."

You blinked, taken aback for a moment. You expected some resistance— after all, most people would be irritated by the thought of helping move someone’s stuff after a first meeting. Maybe your original thoughts on Atsumu were wrong, when you first saw him you had assumed he would be rude but so far he seemed to be fairly nice.

"Lead the way," He spoke, standing up, once again reminding you just how tall he really is.

You both stood in front of the truck, it was a fairly small size, really only used for moving a bedroom.

"The boxes might be heavy, I dont pack well," You warned, sliding the door up and revealing your stacks of boxes as well as your bed set, but something caught Atsumu's eye, you had something flat and long covered on bubble wrap.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing his finger.

"Oh! My canvases, I, uh, do art, or well, make it, I guess," You explained, stumbling over your words nervously. "Well, not I guess, I know it, it's my job,"

You hoped he didn't ask any further questions since you weren't one to really talk about your art, most of your pieces never met your standards so therefore never met the light of day despite what everyone else says about them. You always tended to be your own biggest critique.

"Maybe you could paint me like one of your French girls," He teased, a wide grin on his face.

Your face went a deep shade, did he actually want you to paint him like a French girl? It wasn't uncommon for someone to ask you to paint them something but to paint someone was a whole different deal, though, you did find him candidly pretty enough for it.

"Maybe," You said while picking up a box from the truck, the weight almost enough to make you drop it as you struggled to walk.

Atsumu just watched you with amusement, his brow raising, you didn't actually think he was serious. Right? You had determination he'd give you that.

"Ya need help?" He asked wryly.

"Nope," You mustered out before taking another step and almost falling backward, "Okay, yeah," You admitted.

Atsumu quickly replaced your hands on the box, lifting it like it weighed absolutely nothing.

"Just say yes next time, yeah?" He said, making his way towards the entrance, making you mumbling excuses for not lifting it.

After Atsumu sat the last box down in your room he wiped the sweat off his forehead. You told him you'd be back in forty minutes. It took you ten minutes to get to the truck place, twenty minutes to wait for your friend to pick you up, and ten minutes back. It gave Atsumu a chance to spiffy the place up one last time. He didn't want you to think he lived messily, though it would be a different story when he was busy.

Before leaving your room, he caught a glimpse of the familiar bubble-wrapped canvases, curiosity piquing his interest. One look wouldn't hurt, right? And it's like you'd never know. Giving in to his curiosity he carefully unwrapped one from the back, it felt like Christmas all over again.

Lifting the painting up to get a good view his jaw dropped, it was a beautiful scenic view of a lake, the water and grass had been finished but the sky and what he presumed should've been mountains weren't. He wanted to see a finished one, so he declared that one didn't count and therefore he should be entitled to unwrapping another one.

Lifting the second one up he noticed the same thing, it was a moonlight beach piece- or so he thought; only the top part of the canvas hadn't been filled in. Once he rewrapped them he inspected all the canvases from outside the wrap, and despite how blurry it was, he could tell none of them were finished and a confused look strew onto his face, whats with you and not finishing things?

Hearing the doorbell ring he quickly placed everything back where he found it and rushed to the door, opening it slightly after peeking through the peephole and seeing your form.

"Password?" He asked with a grin.

You didn't quite pick up on his joking tone, "Wait what? You didn't tell me the password," You explained anxiously.

He laughed awkwardly when he realized the joke didn't land, you were gonna have to get used to his silly jokes if you were gonna become possible friends with him.

"Just come inside," He opened the door fully, watching as you slipped under the arm that was holding the door open.

"That reminds me," He paused, digging in his shorts pocket, pulling out a silver key, and handing it out to you, "Your key,"

You smiled and took it from his hand, "Why is your fingertip black?" You asked, taking his wrist and examining his hand.

Atsumu's eyes widened as he quickly tried to come up with an excuse, he couldn't just tell you he went snooping through your stuff. Atsumu was a liar, everybody who was even remotely close to him knew this, but to his luck, you had only just met him.

"It's not," He said with the most convincing smile he could put on.

He never said he was a good liar.

You looked up at him, his wrist still in your grasp as your eyes flickered between him and his finger, and your skeptical expression made it clear you didn't believe him.

"It's food dye," He spoke again, praying you'd release your weak grasp.

Narrowing your eyes you seemed content with his more believable answer, "Why didn't you just say that from the start?" You asked, letting go of his arm.

"Oh, ya know, the usual, anyway..." He trailed off, walking towards his bedroom to escape the awkward situation, "I'll be in my room, don't disturb me unless there's a fire,"

You watched his back as he fled and shut the door swiftly, you knew this new living arrangement would be anything other than a dull one.

But one thing didn't add up to you, what food would he willingly want to dye black? Oh well, you had more important matters to attend to, like unpacking your room, your least favorite part of moving.

With a sigh you looked around your room, it was neat, and you wondered how long it'd be till it wasn't. Mentally swatting those thoughts away you shook your head, you had to be clean this time in fear of getting kicked out, again, it's weird that it happened once it'd be even more weird if it happened twice.

The only thing left was to find a spot to put your unfinished paintings, was hanging up unfinished paintings weird to do? You weren't quite sure, but since you had nowhere else to store them you decided it was the only logical thing to do. Unwrapping the first one you noticed little smudges in the black. Once you hung it up you inspected your fingers, only that's when it hit you, Atsumu's fingers, he lied to your face!

Knocking on his bedroom door, you were furious— not because he snooped through your things, but because he lied to your face about doing so.

"Atsumu's not here, try again later," You heard him say from behind the door, feigning innocence.

You rolled your eyes, exasperated. "Why'd you lie to me?"

"As a loyal friend of Atsumu, I can confirm he's a man of integrity and would do no such thing," He shot back, in a mockingly serious tone.

Did he genuinely think you'd fall for this act? You were a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them.

"I'm not stupid, Atsumu," you said, crossing your arms as the door creaked open.

His face peeked out with a sheepish grin, clearly amused. "Never said ya were, just testin' yer observation skills,"

You glared up at him, refusing to be derailed. "So? Why lie?"

Atsumu leaned casually against the doorframe, shrugging with an air of nonchalance, "Force of habit? Thought it'd be funny?" His grin widened.

Atsumu didn't really have an explanation of why he lied to you, it just came naturally to him, he'd lie even when caught in the act. He'd be more surprised if he told the truth.

You could only muster out a scoff as you turned for your room, you were more annoyed than angry at this point, annoyed that he kept joking about everything– was there a serious bone in this guys body?

Atsumu felt the need to apologize, he knew he shouldn't lie, or well, he should've told a better lie, but he still hurt your feelings and it hadn't even been a whole day since you moved in.

With an exaggerated sigh he knocked on your door. After a few moments you opened it, a scowl evident on your face at the sight of him.

" 'msorry i stretched the truth about a few things," He said, watching as you crossed your arms.

"Stretched the truth?" You repeated annoyed at how he couldn't admit the cold hard truth even in his apologies.

"C'mon don't be like that, i'm sorry, i got carried away 'nd wanted to see yer painting's" He leaned on the door way.

you let a soft smile onto your face at his words, you were glad he apologized finally, and you were happy someone wanted to see your work, though, had he just asked you probably would've shown him. Eventually. Most likely.

"Yeah, well... next time, just don’t lie. It’s not that hard." You say, not wanting to let him off the hook that easily.

Atsumu grins, "No promises," He said amusingly.

You rolled your eyes and smiled at him, "So, what do you think of them?"

Atsumu knew he was going to like invoking reactions out of you, the way you expressed yourself so clearly was adorable to him, and how you didn't quite catch on to his sarcastic tone, taking everything so seriously. It was far too cute.

"Why aren't any of 'em finished?" He asked inquisitively, watching as you leaned on the doorframe opposite to him.

You pondered for a moment, coming up with an answer that actually made sense to anyone but you. You knew why they weren't finished, it was a problem you've always had, you just never had the right motivation to finish the pieces, they were beautiful yes, and they could've been so much more but you never had the right... muse?

Motivation?

Reason?

Of course, you had reason to finish the pieces people paid for, but your personal pieces were and will always remain unfinished.

"I've never had any reason to finish them, I guess," You said, your tone completely changing from the one you've been using toward him, you sounded more collected than you did before.

Atsumu felt your words somewhat, though he couldn't fully understand where you were coming from as he never indulged in hobbies other than volleyball, and with volleyball you can't just not finish the game.

"Well, if ya ever finish one, we're hangin' it up in the living room," He grinned at your flustered face.

"You were saying something about rules earlier?" You changed the subject.

"Ah," He paused, "Respect people's things 'nd label yer food,"

You looked at him with a bemused expression, "Haven't you already broken one of your rules?"

He stood with a wide smirk, "Never said I'd follow the rules, gotta get yer ears checked," He said teasingly.

"My ears are just fine, I swab them every night for your information," You shot back, defensively crossing your arms.

Atsumu chuckled softly at your form, the way you always took him so seriously, it stitched something into him, nothing bad, but he just wasn't sure what the feeling was to what it could lead to, sure your personalities clashed wildly, but that's what made it so exciting to him. You were something new.

"Thanks f'the image,"

"Let me see your ears," You said, arms still crossed.

Atsumu raised his brow in amusement, "Why would I-"

Atsumu got cut off by you grabbing his shirt and tugging him down,.

Atsumu blinked, his lips parting slightly in stunned silence. He wasn’t used to being manhandled like this— especially by someone as small, compared to him, and stubborn as you.

“Y’know,” He finally murmured, his voice low and teasing as a grin tugged at his lips, “If ya wanted t’hold my face, ya just had t’ask.” He said playfully, trying to mask the flush your hold on his face brought.

You ignored his words, squinting at his ear as if it held the answers to the universe.

“It looks clean,” you muttered, releasing his chin with a sharp pat.

Atsumu straightened, rubbing his jaw with exaggerated offense. “Glad I passed yer inspection, doc. Feel free t’give me a heads-up next time, yeah?”

Despite the confident facade he put on, your touch and close proximity sent a flutter through him.

"Well, I did ask beforehand," You placed your hand on his chest to move him backward and out of the doorframe, god, why were you so touchy? It did absolutely nothing to calm the flutter of feelings spinning in his chest.

As you turned on your heel and shut the door, Atsumu stood there, watching you, his hand absently brushing over his chin where your fingers had been moments before.

What exactly had he gotten himself into?

navigation !

© 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ please don't copy, translate, or post any of my work without my permission !

[xxmisukii]

Oh boy…. being a Jayvik shipper is hard (especially on twitter)

I can understand if people see them as platonic, romantic,… but brothers? When I and my sister heard that ppl see them as brothers, we looked at each other with disgust (we’re not the only one). And everytime I see post on tik tok or twitter that is aimed for shippers, there is ALWAYS at least one comment that says “oh but they’re like brothers” (if u see them like that, then ok it’s your opinion idc, but if you proceed to argue about it NON STOP with the shippers, calling them stupid and delusional, then something’s wrong with you, if you can’t even respect someone’s opinion)

AND they always use these same arguments whenever they can:

Argument numero uno: “but Jayce said he’s like his brother”

like yeah we get it, he said it, but what was the last time he called him that ? In season 1.

He stopped calling him that after.

(And it happens in real life too, you can change how you see someone after some time)

Number 2 “but writters said they aren’t canon”

when did they said that? (I’m genuinely asking)

and so what? it’s not illegal to ship characters even when the creators says it’s not canon. go argue about it with some animators, music creators, voice actors,… because they ship it too (btw same thing happened with Luca)

Also did they forgot about concept of “shipping”?? it doesn’t matter if they end up together or not. Ppl shipped Elsa and Jack Frost, FFS

If Jayvik was heterosexual pair, no one would fvcking deny it, everyone would say that they’re romantic and more than friends (I know this argument is used a lot, but it’s the reality)

Argument number 3: “Men nowadays can’t be just friends”

Yeah sure, but girls and boys always have to be something more than friends, right?

(The homophobia is loud)

The reason why many ppl ship it, is because they have good chemistry, dynamic, lore, etc. and not because they’re both dudes

If the creators want them to be just a friends, then they should interpret in the show more

If you can’t live with the fact that ppl ship two male characters, then don’t interact, easy

(Anyway this is all, sorry about this long rant, but I’m tired hearing the same things EVERY.DAMN.TIME😀 these ppl make me feel like shi sometimes)