#and I didn’t have interests as a child
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
boneless-mika · 2 years ago
Link
Tumblr media
try my quiz!
28K notes · View notes
monstersinthecosmos · 2 months ago
Note
I read your answer, where did you say "Pandora is his actual type and Armand was his pet"
But how could Armand be just a pet for him? He is one of only three of his turned children. Marius speaks of him as the greatest love (along with Pandora). Although I see some hypocrisy in this. Marius loves no one as much as Pandora. But certainly more than just a pet
Well !
Babe the thing is that, I said what I said and it’s okay if you don’t agree!!! And I’m gonna take this opportunity to double down. (Assuming that you’re asking in good faith and not to pick on me for my analysis lmao please this fandom has traumatized me too much.)
(((TLDR the text never treats Armand like he’s Marius’s equal but also I never said that being a pet was a bad thing.)))
I want to start by talking about the concept of MAKER in VC and how canon tells us that vampires exist outside of human social constructs, including traditional family roles right? Like for example, the moment Gabrielle is turned, she ceases to be Lestat’s mother. 
But with Marius I think a lot about how he’s crafted a persona for himself, and tries to operate in a very rigid set of rules. And part of this is like, how determined he is to live by stoicism even when he’s a mess on the inside, but I also think about in TVL when he says that thing about how it’s easier to just knock a glass on the floor, and how he goes out of his way to appear more human and retain human gestures. 
So like, in the way a MAKER is kinda like, a parent/lover/companion/something too big for our tiny human minds to comprehend. We still get a Marius who is determined to be a father & mentor, and I think a lot about how his need for stoicism and humanity is probably also expressed with his need to be the paterfamilias. 
I’ve been also thinking a lot lately about Bad Fathers in Media—specifically people like Tony Soprano, Logan Roy, Roderick Usher—and how the toxic patriarchy affects their relationships with their sons. Tony Soprano in particular is one who resonates with me a lot when I think about Marius—Tony often indulges in anger because he enjoys being feared (he thinks it’s respect but it’s usually fear), and that’s a bit different on a material level from Marius “anger is too pathetic” de Romanus but they’re both sort of obsessed with the idea of stoicism and trying to be a ~ strong silent type ~ on the outside, even when they’re actually quite messy and emotional underneath.
But wait — put a pin in this for a second. We’ll come back to this, and the concept of fathers and sons. I want to pause real quick to swerve to clarify:
Armand being a pet isn’t a bad thing.
It wasn’t “pet (derogatory) 😒” —  it’s “pet (adorable creature that I care for) 🥰”.
Here’s the thing about MARIMAND if you will (I hate all the VC ship names oh my god theyre all hideous lmao) but like OKAY OKAY. THE THING IS. WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF WE’RE NOT INTO THE FUCKEDUPEDNESS ? 
Like I’m not telling anyone how to enjoy a ship, please have fun ! Do you! But to ME? That inter-species friction and 1,517 year age gap is like WHAT THE DYNAMIC IS ABOUT, THAT’S THE FLAVOR BABY!!! Anne Rice herself even said the book was about “a boy’s love for a monster” !!
WHAT’S THE POINT OF MONSTERFUCKER EROTICA IF HE’S NOT A MONSTER LOL
Tumblr media
And YEAH I get that not everyone wants to read TVA as a monsterfucker story. That’s okay! It also reads as a savior fantasy. But I enjoy the messiness of it—I LIKE that Marius is an apex predator & ghoulish ancient thing. I like that it’s problematic. I LOVE that Marius really does love him, though, amidst all these other themes. I find it SO compelling.
But I never once said that Marius doesn’t love him. Of course Marius loves him. What I said is that he loves Armand the way we love a pet. I would fucking die for my cats. I regularly burst into tears looking at my cats because I love them so much. But they’re fucking cats lmao.
I never for one minute forget that Marius isn’t human. He’s operating on a whole different wavelength with different points of references and ethics and life experiences. Like, people get so hung up on Armand being 17 and IT WOULD BE JUST AS BAD IF HE WAS 18 OR 25 OR 30 LOL. A frail little human cannot comprehend !!!!!
What’s interesting with Marius’s fledglings though is that he tends not to treat them as equals. Like I think you could read TVA thinking: Once Marius turns him, they’ll be real partners. But no, they stick to their mentor/mentee, dom/sub, father/son roles. We don’t have tons of examples in canon of other maker/fledgling relationships but it’s not a coincidence that Roman Patriarch Marius maintains status over his fledglings. Even once Armand is a vampire, he’s still not Marius’s equal, and Marius’s age and power are still held over him. 
BUT LIKE.
That’s weird, right?
I MEAN THE DARK GIFT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE but it’s interesting to me that Lestat & Gabrielle’s relationship completely dissolves once she’s a vampire, but Marius & Armand’s doesn’t.
(Sidebar that like, I think there’s also ways to acknowledge that if we think their relationship is good that it’s OKAY for them to maintain these roles because Armand WANTS to be his sub but let me focus on my point here. We should also make time to talk about diegetic BDSM and whether or not it’s appropriate to use a D/s framework for this discussion if the roles are baked into the text and not a choice for the characters and not a game they are agreeing to but that’s for another post.)
So back to the thing about fathers.
I’ve been thinking a lot about bad father characters, specifically Logan Roy and Tony Soprano (also bad mother Margaret Chenowith) and the impossible standards they give their children. Logan and Tony are both men who are disappointed in their sons for being soft, because they were able to provide better lives for their children. They both spoil their sons with all the material wealth that they did not have in their own lives. For Logan we see how badly he resents his kids—Kendall even accuses him of being jealous of what they have—and for Tony he seems to be at a loss on how to parse his feelings. Part of him literally hates AJ for being such a whimsical little fuckup, and at the same time he wants to protect that part of AJ and doesn’t even WANT AJ to follow in his footsteps. Still, he hates to see that AJ is spoiled with no work ethic, and doesn’t know how to set an example for him.
Everything in Venice is designed to spoil Armand with all the things Marius didn’t get—it’s such a specific & deliberate opposite of how Marius was turned. And I think him seeing Armand as a pet puts a little bit of distance between the hurt he’d feel if he thought of Armand as a true son, or even an equal. He doesn’t have to resent Armand for having it easier than he did, but also doesn’t have to feel extremely betrayed by Armand fitting in with the cult. Like, let’s never 4get that by the time Marius catches up with Armand, Armand is right at home and thriving with them. A CULT? THE THING THAT KILLED ME????? Marius has no idea what the fuck they did to him, he just knows that Armand settled in just fine and has discarded everything that Marius tried to teach him. 
I think these roles are appropriately all muddled because it’s VC—like we said, the No Social Constructs series—so like, how do we compare the words SON and PET and FLEDGLING and SUB, I’m not sure. But my point is that he’s never seen or treated Armand as an equal, and perhaps never even a full adult person. 
ARE THESE IDEAS CONFLICTING? A little. But that’s okay. Am I incoherent and ill-equipped to tackle this analysis or is it because Marius is not a consistent person and never quite lives up to the ideal he’s trying to be? Does he want Armand to be his pet but secretly has feelings? Does he fail at being a father figure? Is he brushing off his Big Big Emotions so that he doesn’t have to admit how wrecked and destroyed he is and how badly his feelings were hurt? Idk man. I’m sure you can send me another anon to tell me I’m wrong. 
I wonder sometimes if like, keeping Armand at this lower status (like a pet) actually protects Armand from Marius’s ire and disappointment. Marius is sort of a father, but sort of not. He’s crafted a role for himself that is never all the way sincere, and it allows him some space to protect his own feelings of betrayal and disappointment when it comes to Armand. Marius is also classically bad at following his own rules, and never quite sticks the landing on the people he’s trying to be. 
I can imagine a version of events where Armand does gain some ground with Marius, maybe pays his dues and matures into someone that Marius trusts and respects, but that’s not the version of events we get in canon. Marius turns Armand, Armand remains his pupil, they visit Kiev and Marius is jealous of Armand’s father, they make it all the way to the raid without Marius ever confiding about The Parents. Even in the present day, during a dispute, Marius tells Armand he has the savage & ignorant soul of a child. Even in the present day, Marius won’t stop calling him Amadeo!!!! 
And like!!!!! It feels like Marius is more upset about Santino wronging him by ruining his home and taking his toys than he is about what Santino did to ARMAND. It’s more about Marius’s own feelings and possessions than it is about Armand’s own feelings and experience of what happened. AN ARMAND FRIDGING, IF YOU WILL. 
Anyway.
By never seeing Armand as a complete person, Marius never has to feel threatened by him. We see this in toxic parents a lot. Like, I want you to be good, but I’m insecure if you’re better than me. Or I can never fully respect your feelings because I always see you as a child and not a fully grown adult. And the truth is that Marius is actually quite threatened by Armand, on the inside. He is very hurt. He cares what Armand thinks of him. He’s relieved at the end of BCtu when he assumes that Armand wants to open his heart again. 
So idk like. I think the books end with a little bit of a hope for them; we see a lot of growth and self-acceptance from Marius in the last book and it’s reasonable to assume that he and Armand might have a long chat and nice long cry and work it out. I don’t think it’s completely set in stone, but it’s nice to think about! A nice happy ending. And I wonder if this is when Marius finally takes Armand seriously and listens to what he has to say without demeaning him! 
Am I gonna add 2000 more words to this point by tying it what the whole like “I fear him because I could love him again” thing in TVA means? No I’m not. But like. Again! It’s okay to be a pet, I think Armand liked being his pet. :) 
42 notes · View notes
lelslizzylebs · 3 months ago
Text
The real reason Marcille Donato is Like That is because she’s an only child.
31 notes · View notes
wubbybubbly · 1 year ago
Text
something that I find fascinating in bridge to the turnabout is when edgeworth says that while he was caught up in the middle of the dl-6 investigation, he had actually met misty fey himself.
I’m sure this was before the channeling began. whether or not he was actually in the room when it happened is up for debate. but because edgeworth never alludes to a reunion with his father, I think it’s safe to say that the police barred him from interacting with his spirit. maybe he was forced out of the room. or maybe he just sat there, crying to himself believing his father was right there and he couldn’t speak to him.
what’s interesting is that edgeworth vehemently dismisses the kurain channeling technique and sees all spirit mediums as frauds (even when mia is channeled in court and clearly visible). so, it’s possible that this anger stems from something a lot more personal than “it’s scientifically impossible.” I think he staunchly refuses to believe in the fey clan’s legitimacy because accepting it means that he could’ve seen his father again, but wasn’t allowed to. so he’d rather think that there is absolutely no way to bring back the dead, ever. it’s a way to protect himself—the police were wrong, so he didn’t actually miss his chance to speak to his dad.
I don’t know, there’s a lot more to edgeworth seeing misty as a fraud than just this, and maybe I’m totally wrong. but it’s a possibility that I thought of.
75 notes · View notes
toomuchdivergentformyneuro · 5 months ago
Text
probably the most constant thing of my life has been the social isolation and loneliness i experience
since i was a young child, i’ve always struggled to make and find friends, and often was left alone
for a long time, nothing could defeat my spirits and will to make friends, and even the loneliness wasn’t enough to make me stop
nowadays, it gets to me, the loneliness, and i often wonder if i’ll have all the friends i’ve deserved all along
18 notes · View notes
unsiredtribrid · 13 days ago
Text
conversations about Ben are endlessly fascinating to me because being the only adult left out there and seeing teenage girls cannibalize their own is already insane just on its own as a concept but then you pile on that he refused to join in and at that point realized he was going to be left out of the lord of the flies situation because of it (if he didn’t just starve to death, but even then they would eat him)
I think people don’t talk about enough how odd and horrible it would’ve been if he ate Jackie. Like the fandom chastises him a lot for failings as an adult but what kind of failing would it be for him to set an example, as the adult, for them to continue eating each other? For him to eat a child he was previously paid to care for as his job?
15 notes · View notes
simgerale · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
28 notes · View notes
waywardted · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Believing in rom-communism is all about believing that everything is going to work out in the end... Now, it may not work out how you think it will, or how you hope it does, but, believe me, it will all work out.
#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso#otp: you liven up the place#mine#m*ne: lasso#i like don't want to tag this with anything i'm having a thought exercise lmao#this is the tip of the iceberg for real i really do think it's their movie#and on an emotional level i'm devastated by this and on an intellectual level i'm just. fascinated#if we take the end as endgamey (though i'm partial to hannah canon ha)#within that endgame the universe gives her a consolation prize of a ted#and i don’t even think that’s my biased reading like his name means the same thing he also is from another country is also divorced also has#a child who evidently can be moved around more easily maybe cause she’s younger and amsterdam is closer#plus all the other similarities we’d talked about after amsterdam#and all the little moments that fatefully lead rebecca to this moment are moments with ted#ted walks away from her and she walks out the door to find this man again#it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t need to say goodbye to her soulmate#with all of that idk it seems like they added this man not just as love interest but so that he'd be specifically#filling the void ted left in her life and in their romcom#to invoke sleepless in seattle like that when there is a very clear fated soulmate relationship at play#and then to give the ending to another character#like no shade to matthijs he's a fine man but#it just seems intentionally to say the hero of this story has to leave#so 'god's gift' is this substitute#is it the 'it just doesn't happen twice'?? is ted like the maggie of this situation???#is it 'the dream of someone else' which kinda seems like hannah's reading??#you can't always get what you want (the romcom ending the way you think it's going to) but you get what you need (them ending up with their#respective families and possibilities for the future)???#it's just that isn't it. just a completely heartbreaking realization of ted's romcommunsim speech#it's bananas and on purpose and i'm in pain
95 notes · View notes
maybeicanbesaved · 3 months ago
Text
got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’
#i’m so tired man#yeah because you’re a cis straight white woman#but what about your queer child?#what about other lgbtq+ people? you say you support them/us but apparently not enough if you don’t care to vote#and then she started on about how kamala is just as bad if not worse#bc she’s an easily influenced boomer and listens to other dumbfuck boomers#plus the internalized misogyny#i just can’t yall#i know some have it worse with their parent/family member being full on pro trump but this#is just so fucking frustrating#not to mention my bitch sister who within the past couple years moved to the midwest with her abusive bf & got knocked up twice#is suddenly loudly pro trump#the same woman who a mere handful of years ago was about to marry her trans girlfriend (whom she also dated before they realized they#were trans!!)#the same woman who has dated girls multiple times#and had more than a few abortions#like just because you now have two children and no longer interested in having abortions no women should have them?? fucking hypocrite#she just disgusts me#like did he beat the brain cells out of you or did all the heroin you used to do kill them#i’m sorry im just so fucking angry with her like i didn’t think i could get more pissed/upset with her#after she ‘indirectly’ killed my cats#which i will never ever forgive her for#but this is just extra on top#legit no longer acknowledge her as my sister - i now only have one vs the two i was raised with idfc im better off#i’m just tired#and it’s not even an ‘election time’ thing this is just … never gonna end/change huh#personal#tdl#vent
5 notes · View notes
amummy · 7 months ago
Text
This is a miquella supporting blog, miquella haters don’t interact (I’m kidding idc who or what you like or dislike)
#i’m not saying he did nothing wrong but i positive he would of gone back for malenia he didn’t abandon her#he was kidnapped and defiled in a heretical blood ritual till he DIED#yeah the thing with calied was unfortunately caused by him#but it was never anticipated that malenia would bloom#radahn was resistant likely because he’s a golden order fan boy of Radagon so ofc he tried to break his vow#I think people things miquella is more powerful then he truly was#all his strengths were in his charms and kindness so if you have no other weapon then what do you use in a world that’s hostile and violent?#his weakness is his naivety#and he’s likely been treated like a child longer then we realized just because of his curse#we see miquella without his love and that’s what we face in battle and even then he doesn’t actually attack us#radahn does#i can’t speak for radahn#i’ve never been very interested in him#but i do know that the charm doesn’t seem to force LOVE#mohg did that on his own as a bid to become elden lord and as a way he did just not in the sense he wanted#the charm almost seems to quell negative emotions instead and create comradery#hence why the bewitching branch makes enemies fight for you#i can almost guarantee with the rune broken malenia still will have the fight be the same after the final dlc fight#she was never charmed#i need to stop i’m very frustrated by people calling him pure evil or slurs#elden ring#sote spoilers#elden ring spoilers#shadow of the erdtree spoilers
8 notes · View notes
parasitoidism · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Thisabeau
7 notes · View notes
bibleofficial · 5 months ago
Text
obsessed w gen alpha
Tumblr media
#stream#literally the kill them w kindness philosophy 😭😭😭#gen z & millenial urge to respond w smthg like ‘unfortunately u too were brought into this world kill yourself’ AKSKAKKSLAKALAKLAKALA#this was on a. post of op asking ‘is there smthg wrong w my sea monkeys’#like how are u being snide in a reddit community that surrounds a ‘first pet’ for children aged like 8-13#literally all they had to do was top up their water like they’ve an amazing colony - it’s flourishing !! i’d be proud ??!??#like when i had my first sea monkeys as a child i had to aerate the tank so the said pour it into a cup back & forth so i put it in a#blender but the bottom didn’t have like the blender bit so it was. a straw#so i poured them into the floor & cried#i was DEVASTATED#but still ALSKALSKALSKLAKALS LIKE IDK I DEFEND SEAMONKEYS THEYRE SUCH A GOOD FIRST PET & THEYRE SO FASCINATING#like idk it’s just ???? w most hobbies u should just be nice bc it’s not like ur making fun of someone in a TOBACCO or LIQUOR subreddit#like even in the pigeon reddit u can get some cunts but like u can … tell when it’s a child asking a question or looking for advice ….#well child or ‘young person’ i don’t want to be like a 16 year old is a child but they certainly are constrained financially so they can’t#like ‘go out & but a dog crate’ to put it in but u can advise them on where they can take it for like vet help or resources on how to keep#an injured animal comfortable#like idk I JUST THINK it’s SO important to make these spaces comfortable & accessible for children bc sometimes their friends or family#won’t be interested in a hobby like BIRDWATCHING but if ur ONLY surrounded w other children misinformation will proliferate#i should just be a teacher or work in some sort of community outreach like idk i just like working w young people#& old people !!!! but i like young people like omg helping them find their passions & pushing them in that direction#ooohhhh how MOTHERLY
5 notes · View notes
radios-universe · 3 months ago
Text
i’m 18 today. except i’m not. i’m 20 today. maybe one of these years i’ll catch up. maybe one of these years i won’t be crying at midnight on my birthday, confused on why i’m not 2 years younger than i think i am.
2 notes · View notes
carsickcrow · 4 months ago
Text
i’ve been obsessed with this concept for possibly my entire life and now i have a whole bunch of words for it. not that using -ception to colloquially refer to it is wrong but it’s not the most accurate. i love learning i love wikipedia
2 notes · View notes
goblins-and-gloves · 6 months ago
Text
Angry at parents hour!
Undiagnosed autistic fuckers are delulu.
#headline descriptor plus rant in tags#oh yeah sure sibling could have#sat down and studied for his finals#if only he wanted to#bitch you sent him to a school that did not have a special education program#you have been told he has learning difficulties#you didn’t get him diagnosed#you failed at providing him adequate help and tutoring#and yes that was on you because you sent him to a school that wouldn’t do that proactively#on purpose#so they wouldn’t bother you#oh but he is so smart and holds enceclapidic knowledge of d&d and Pokémon in his mind#that doesn’t translate to studying skills and ability to write out his thoughts and you know it#fuck you some things are your fault#and your responsibility as a parent#and now you couldn’t adequately provide education support to your youngest child for three years in a row#even though it’s your fourth autistic kid#you knew the signs damn well#and don’t get me started on dad#he just straight up doesn’t contribute anything to the conversation unless it’s about something that interesting to him#I don’t think you get to do that as a parent?#in the 21 century at least#why the fuck do I never know this man’s opinion on anything except music and fantasy series?#the kicker is those two know damn well you need support to grow in a meaningful way as an autistic child and young person#they were autistic children and young people#they have had support#they have had other people’s input#they had support beside irrelevant literature presented without explanation and advice to check the web#where the fuck did they get the idea that a person related to both of them is able to sit down and study without external support and#or a meaningful structure
4 notes · View notes
napoleon-usher · 1 year ago
Text
do you ever have just a sudden realization of how bland your own personality is like damn I must be absolutely boring to be around
17 notes · View notes