#and I did not proof read this I'm posting like a mad woman

[anachronismstellar]

I got something stuck in my head and idk man have this scene I guess

What if SQH were the one finding Liu Qingge in the caves?

Feat Sleep Token - The Summoning

As always no beta we die like Liu Qingge man hidhidf

----

He had no idea when everything had gone wrong, all he could feel was the burning of his meridians and the taste of copper on his lips. Like a fog, screams reached his ears, and in a blink of sanity he understood that it was him, his throat completely ruined as blood dripped down his chin and neck.

It had been days, it had been weeks, it had been-

He didn't know.

He felt his arm swing against monsters that weren't there, whispers crawling up his spine, their biting voices making it impossible for him to identify friend or foe. His vision swam again, darkness dancing at the corner of his eyes as if he were stuck in a forever shadow puppet theater, grasping smokes as he fought to get back to reality, to the caves.

Then the light came.

He wasn't conscious enough to recognize that he had been hallucinating for quite sometime now, but if the past month had taught anything is that he had no allies, he couldn't trust no one. So when glittering white and yellow dashed past him, he did the only thing he could have possible do, rushing with his sword at ready, the light prickling his eyes after spending so long in the dark.

At the back of his mind he heard something that sounded like his name. Didn't feel right, however, as if it were coming from underwater, the burning in his chest unbearable as he did his best to slice his opponent, his strikes being met one by one. Another voice, one that sounded too much like what he would say if he were sane, kept screaming at him, reckless, useless, pitiful, disgraceful-

A hand slapped him with full force against his chest, the searing heat of his core freezing too fast for him to understand what had happened. He gasped, chocking blood as he tried to breathe, his wet heaving sending a wave of despair to his bones.

Another slap and this time his lungs filled with more air than blood, snapping him from his overwhelming fear, tears trickling down his cheeks as he finally saw the person in front of him for the first time.

Liu Qingge wasn't a pious man.

He believed in the Heavens as one believes that the moon and starts could influence destiny and fate, to say not at all.

Still, the first thing his mind could think of was that a High Spirit or a Godly creature was in front of him, their hair disheveled a halo, hands gentle as the morning dew helping him to lay down as his legs failed to hold him up.

But the most striking thing were his eyes, glowing gold like embers in the dark, guiding him as he slowly came back to his surroundings.

Liu Qingge squinted his eyes at the man, his foggy brain struggling to process who was in front of him. It was as if trying to put two images over each other and having them mismatch- the man in front of him shouldn't, couldn't be there, and most of it all the man in front of him wouldn't be capable to go toe to toe with him, qi deviation or not.

"-with me?" Shang Qinghua's voice sounded like rocks gritting against each other, as if the man had been screaming for a long time.

Liu Qingge blinked a couple of times, head tilting to the side as he tried to nod. Shang Qinghua hand went to the back of his neck, holding it in place as he pressed something against Liu Qingge's lips, the liquid so cold it felt as if he were drinking snow. He thought it was water, but the more it washed away the taste of blood, the more he could feel the sweetness of it, the coldness soothing his throat.

"There you go, Shidi, just a bit more," Shang Qinghua tilted the leather canteen slowly, giving time for him to swallow before pouring a bit more on his mouth until he turned his face away.

Heaviness took over his limbs, a different type of fogginess started to cling to his senses, sleep making everything soft around the edges, including his sore bones and muscles. He tried to speak, to ask what was happening, but Shang Qinghua just scratched his scalp with a soft "Shh", not helping him at all to keep him awake.

"Let go, Liu Qingge," and he wanted to stand up, to pay attention because Shang Qinghua had never called him by name like this before, so it must be important, right? He needed to be alert, he- "Shh, I won't let your story to be untold this time."

And that made no sense, no sense at all. What did he mean by this time? Was this man even the real Shang Qinghua? Was he surrendering himself to an impostor? But why save him, why?

"Why..." he mumbled right before sleep dragging him to a kinder darkness, the molten gold eyes guiding him to sleep.

---------

Don't ask, I have no idea either, but I have been listening to Sleep Token non stop since Wednesday and I was feeling a darker vibe than the 12/12 fics.

Look at me, building the Warplane ship one insane fic at a time husdihfuisdf

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the fic! See you around!

[jeleynai]

Hey there, I adore your art, thank you for sharing it and joining us on tumblr. Your Ghoap art makes me feel so soft.

I am curious about your rendering process. I like how your pieces are textured and coloured and the 3 dimensionality of it, is there a chance you'd be open to sharing some of the steps you take to get from sketch to the finished product? For example what methods (if greyscale, selection tool, etc.) and brushes you use? How you pick your colours?

No pressure in answering this of course, I am just glad to see what you'll be up to in the future.

Hellooooo thank you so much for your kind words!! I've actually been getting so many nice notes from people, I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to them much, I promise I read every single one and shed a little tear of joy at how nice you all are!

Now to the question!!

I made a little step by step image of one of the portraits I posted here for you with a bit of commentary underneath! I'm sorry if it's the ramblings of a mad-woman I'm a bit all over the place sometimes haha (I'm so sorry if there's typos, please ignore them)

I'll also answer the direct questions here since I don't think I addressed them TOO directly in the image.

Methods: I work with soft brushes and the lasso tool for 90% of my process! I introduce textures as well obviously but I try to let my soft brushes do most of the work. A lot of that 'soft' look people tell me my art has just comes from subtle colour shifts and general softness achieved that way over working with harsher textures. I generally like to limit my layers somewhat, especially with simple pieces like the one above. That image is actually just a single layer after step 2! It helps me not get too stuck on one area but I also just... draw on the wrong layer very frequently even if I name them so I don't use them unless I'm working on pieces with different layers of depth (fore-/mid-/background etc.) I do check my values *constantly* (I use the colour-proof setup in photoshop) but I don't work directly from greyscale. I go straight into colours from the sketch.

How I pick colours: I do try to keep my colour palette cohesive and a bit more neutral to start with. I try to avoid extremes at the start so I'm not locked into that too early since it makes that 'subtlety' harder to achieve otherwise. For those colour shifts I talk about I just pick whatever base colour I put down and then shift the colours accordingly! Brush modes/layer modes can also help but I definitely recommend looking a bit into colour theory before relying on them TOO much! Otherwise using them will also end in strange results. There's no direct 'formula' I use when choosing colours since every light scenario is unique and will affect colours differently. I would definitely recommend James Gurney's book on Colour and Light!

Last but not least! If you're more of a visual learner and my rambling is a bit much in written form (I'm so sorry, I'm very chatty I know) I also have a few painting processes up on YouTube c: So if you want me to shut up and just watch me struggle instead then here's a link to the painting that started it all, the OG ghost soap piece I did over a year and a half ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D76X0MT4W5U

I hope that all makes sense!! I'm still super new to Tumblr but I'm always happy to ramble on about art so! Thanks for reading my rant haha

[writing-for-life]

So, you mentioned something about Thessaly in a 90s context in one of your responses to another post, and I was wondering if you could expand on that. Because yeah, I have no problem with her *existing* as a character, because obviously she has a role in the narrative, but I highly suspect that her perceived role has changed a LOT in the intervening years since the initial writing.

As someone who first read Sandman in 2022, I figured that her character role was to get us to question what we think we know about Morpheus. Can we really trust that he's changed or improved, or that he's even all that likeable, if he's literally jumping into bed with this thoroughly unpleasant woman who likes violent murder *way* too much and also seems to be transphobic to boot?

At the same time, though, I got the uncomfortable sense that we were supposed to *like* Thessaly. In a sort of, "You go girl, be a #girlboss, let's show these boys we can be JUST as good at killing as them!" sort of way. Which I rationalized as "well, that probably was progressive in the 90s, but the idea of cold blooded violence and emphasis on the possession of a womb being feminist ideals has aged poorly."

So, yeah, I'm wondering if that is anywhere close to how she seemed in the "intended" context.

[As always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!]

This is such a good ask, and I feel there are a lot of bases to cover here. Not sure if I’ll do it justice, but here goes…

Disclaimer straightaway: I absolutely detest Thessaly and everything she’s done narratively, and I’m neither a Thessaly-apologist, nor someone who loves her as a character. But I think we need to discuss her with a bit more nuance than I see in lot of fandom spaces.

I think first of all, we need to look at:

Thessaly as a fictional character

As you already pointed out, she naturally has a role in the narrative. I also think parts of her role in said narrative are sometimes a bit misunderstood. One prime example would be the idea she never loved Morpheus. And yes, she absolutely always put herself and her own interests first, so from that angle, she loved herself more than she loved him. That doesn’t mean she never loved him at any point though. Many people quote her saying that she never did as proof that she didn’t. But what people say doesn’t always align with what they feel or do: She says at his wake she swore she’ll never cry over him again—and cries while she’s saying it. That tells us two things: She *did* cry because of him before. And she *does* cry now.

Again, she is a selfish, utterly horrid bitch, but she loved him at some point, and she was mad at him for neglecting her and not paying her enough attention. That’s when it turned sour (and we know how absolutely shit at communicating with women Morpheus is, so they’re both as bad as each other in that regard).

I see her as someone who is totally disconnected/dissociated from her emotions, to the extent that she probably really believes what she says, out of some deep-rooted fear of any kind of vulnerability. Why that is—we can only speculate, because Neil never went into it, hence nothing we assume will ever be canon.

What can be considered canon, however, is that Neil has confirmed the fact that she *did* love him at some point—most notably in the Sandman Companion:

Hy Bender: […] Of course, she’s lying when she says she never loved the Sandman.

Neil Gaiman: Of course; I think that’s made explicit by the final panel, where she says, `I swore I would never shed another tear for him’ while crying. But after he’s won her and then returned to his duties, he wasn’t enough for her anymore. She wanted attention; and when she wasn’t getting it, she said, “Right. We’re done,” and walked out on him.”

I’d also like to point out that the most trans-exclusionary prick in the whole of AGoY is actually George, just that he’s not a woman, and hence, no one ever seems to mention it (he’s actually the one egging Wanda on, not Thessaly). Plus, walking the moon road is maiden, mother and crone to a T, and consciously so. Foxglove is the maiden, Hazel is pregnant, and Thessaly is ancient. So Thessaly’s choice was also based on that, and the only one who Wanda really could have *potentially* replaced would have been Foxglove; she presumably never had penetrative sex, unlike Hazel (in the archaic definition of what penetration means, so we don’t need to argue about lesbian sex practices now). We don’t know that about Wanda, no matter if someone sees her as a man or a woman. I didn’t mean to get that explicit about maiden status, but I guess it *is* important in this context (although yes, of course Thessaly said Wanda is a man, and I’m not arguing that either, but I still think it was grounded in her belief how moon magic works).

Which brings me to a very important point: Thessaly is ancient. Culturally, we can’t compare her to someone who grew up in the 20th century, also with regard to her violent inclinations. She is thousands of years old. She’s seen it all. She has a fierce sense of self-preservation, maybe even rooted in some fears or trauma of her own. All not very nice character traits, no, but that’s not the yardstick, and probably was never supposed to be. I also remember Neil saying he consciously wanted to oppose neopaganism and the watered down, new wave witchcraft of the time (late 1980s/early 1990s, and that, I really remember), which was all about the “divine feminine”, female empowerment, tarot cards and incense sticks. I’m being a bit flippant now, but it isn’t far off. It was more of a trend than anything. He wanted to consciously oppose it with someone who would still act according to ancient, rather violent codes and rules. And Morpheus will have known those, and probably found them less surprising than we do (doesn’t necessarily mean he’d condone them either).

The fact whether Thessaly should make us question Morpheus in the comics is a tricky one. What she definitely *should* make us question is: Morpheus could have quite easily broken some rules in the Kindly Ones when Thessaly had set up the protection circle for Lyta, and the consequences probably would have been less disastrous than playing by said rules. And we can safely presume he knew. We are also supposed to question the same when he lets Nuala call in her boon and doesn’t just say: “This isn’t really a good time, can we do this later?” (and he absolutely COULD have done that), but actually follows through with going ,“Well, what gives, I basically grant you your boon now and leave the Dreaming, even though I know the potential consequences.” So yes, Thessaly is supposed to make us question Dream’s choices, but probably not the way we think. And for that, we perhaps should look deeper into…

Thessaly the TERF and Feminism in the late 1980s/early 1990s

This might get a bit longwinded, and I am showing my age here. I grew up at the intersection of second wave and third wave feminism, and as a bisexual woman, I made a lot of experiences during the early 90s that feel wholly aligned with the plot of AGoY (which was written during that time). I don’t want to write a whole essay about feminism here, but second wave feminism was on its way out in the late 80s. A lot of the bad associations some people have with feminism today stem from that time (not always justified, because a lot of good was achieved during that period. But parts of it in specific sub-communities—definitely problematic). Equality vs equity discussions within the feminist movement were dominating everything, and the divide between radfems and libfems was getting deeper. People like Audre Lorde IMHO rightly criticised that failing to understand that not all women start on equal footing, that not all women are the same, is problematic (so you could easily see how this is incorporated into the narrative of AGoY).

Second wave feminism wasn’t just about making sure women had rights. It was very much about “all of us can do everything men do, and we want the same a man gets”. It was all about the workspace (so often very white, CIS, middle class), not being at home with the kids etc (of course there were also other topics, but this one was really quite dominant). You could even see it fashion (massive shoulder pads etc). All the while, actually *being* a man was vilified (again, just in certain quarters).

So I feel you’re on to something with your #girlboss comment, only that I don’t think it was intentionally set up to like her, but rather as a criticism of what certain quarters of the feminist movement were like at the time.

Personal anecdote: I got that type of schtick from WITHIN the LGBT community at the time. Bi-erasure was big. And there were radfem lesbians that would actually tell you that being bi doesn’t exist, that you are basically a traitor to your “sisters” and just a lesbian who isn’t fully out. The same shite they used to criticise about men who would say you’re only a lesbian because you haven’t found the right guy yet. And here they went, telling you that you can’t be attracted to men if you’re also attracted to women.

Third wave feminism has a much stronger focus on the individual woman and what it means to be a woman to HER. This also included trans women, much more than during the second wave. Judith Butler’s work is actually exemplary for this (in essence, there is no such woman as “the” woman—we’re all different despite sharing common traits and problems. Trying to make us all the same will only harm us in the long run).

And with AGoY and Thessaly, we are exactly at the moment in time (in the comics) where that shift happens. I think Neil got it right for the time, and understood a lot of what was going on. Many people in queer communities felt really understood and seen, myself included. I absolutely see how that translates differently today. But it always saddens me when the historical context gets completely stripped away, and people don’t take the time a work of fiction was written into consideration and only measure it from today’s viewpoint. We can, and absolutely have to be critical if the TV shows fails to address these points and just translates everything 1-2-1. Which I am fairly certain won’t happen, because Thessaly has already been stripped off a lot of her obvious TERFiness in the Audible. I’m not even sure if we’ll get her in the show—we’ll hopefully find out.

Phew, that was long, I’m gonna lie down 😂

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hello, Popcorn! I hope you are well! Love your fic! 😊

I just wanted to say: thank you SO MUCH for being a drop of sanity in the sea of madness that it's this fandom.

Because why did I stumble upon an older fanfic (written pre-show), in which Daemon, while holding his newborn first son Aegon, was thinking of... *don't hold your breath* Laena? I swear these people are not right in their heads.

Do they hate Rhaenyra so much? Rhaenyra, Aegon's MOTHER, who gave birth to him. Do they hate the fact that Rhaenyra was the only woman who gave Daemon his beautiful boys?

Or do they hate the fact that we have a mountain of proofs to attest to how much Daemon loved her, while their headcanons have none?

It might sound as an exaggeration, but seeing all this, it's heartbreaking how Rhaenyra is treated by some people. She is the mother of those boys, she loved them, she raised them so beautifully, yet there are people who imagine things like those above, or who claim Daemon and her boys did not love her. I have no words.

I'm sorry this anon turned so long. I hope you have a beautiful day!

Hi there Anon and sorry for this delay,

This is literally me at these people, and yes I have used this gif on another ask today but it honestly just sums up my feelings concerning the Daemyra antis obsessed with Laena:

Like just today me and @lady-corrine had someone explain under her post that they always believed that Laena was Daemon's true love because they read about it... in fanfictions. I wish I was joking but I am tagging her so she does not let me lie 🤣 I swear at this point I feel I am being punked.

Oh, and btw, in said fics - hope you are sitting down Anon 'cause I can't make this sh:t up - we have Daemon explain to Baela and/or Rhaenys that he really only loved Laena - we know Daemon we know 🤭 - and he only got with Rhaenyra because she either:

a) chased after him

b) got pregnant

So I feel that from here we have a few possible future routes that I would say might include: Rhaenyra impregnating herself by using Daemon's baby juice against his will (of course!) or I don't know force him. At this point why not.

Will no one protect poor Prince Daemon who was only trying to live and love Laena in peace?!!!!!!!!!! Monsters! Especially you Rhaenyra! Evil b_tch!

I just...

@lady-corrine This was the ask I told you about the other day X'D it's like... you cannot make this up.

[tintagel-or-cockleshells]

Fic Origin Story

I was tagged by the marvellous @clottedcreamfudge and saved this link in my Notes to answer later.

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)? Lord of the Rings. So, I'm a true blue nerd. It was actually a story about the Entwives, because it was a fic exchange. I was like 14 and did so much research. It was not a good fic.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it? It was a dreadfully obvious derivative of a book I got at the library, written in glittery wax crayon, about an Egyptian servant girl who had a heart of gold and an evil priest who had a heart of stone and tried to swap them on the Scales of Justice. Illustrated, too!

What's a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self? “Stop thinking it's all got to be Big and Important and say Truthful Things! You're allowed to have fun!”  

What's an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)? Well, I remember joining a LoTR messageboard, so nervous, and then people being rude to me because I had the same kind of name as a recently-departed troll. However! People were a lot nicer after that, I met them in real life, and now two of them are my goddamn bridesmaids.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want). Oh goodness me, this was a delve into the dives of my Gmail. This is from 2007, an Angels Unlimited fic.

"I hated babysitting.

No, I mean—the kids were generally cute and the more well-behaved ones went to bed on time, and you got paid heaps, but it was the time before bed when they want to show off so badly I hated. You got the ballerinas prancing around in lilac tutus, putting on their very expensive satin ballet shoes, and you being forced to watch wobbly arabesques. And the doll-mad ones telling you about the adventures of magical Barbie and Ken and sometimes Skipper, undressing them and invariably losing one tiny plastic shoe. AND then the ones who fancied themselves geniuses and watched University Challenge and got nearly all the right answers. Okay, so that was only one, but still. I was struggling with my French homework that night.

However, I’d never had to babysit a really religious kid before. People generally aren’t religious round where I live. In Park Hall, there’s not much proof of life before death. Its two churches are both in an equal state of disrepair. Nobody in my class goes to church on Sunday, and nobody believes in God. If he actually existed, he’d make sure nobody’s older brother got shot, or their mum taken away. But kids are like sheep when they’re that small, aren’t they? They believe what their parents tell them. And so Hope Adams was Catholic, and Believed with a capital B."

And this is from my newest fic, Ghosted, a Red, White and Royal Blue one.

“Love,” Henry says reluctantly, and looks even more bashful as Alex sends a malevolent grin his way. “God, you’re incorrigible.”

“That’s me. Dead or alive, I can’t be corriged.”

It really is their stop now, and Alex suspects (correctly, as it turns out) that there are plenty of people waiting to get on and off. He and Henry manage to squeeze their way out after a young woman dressed in scrubs, and pass a man with a bandaged hand, a nurse who looks absolutely exhausted, a man in immaculate 1920s threads, and two older women who could either be 1950s ghosts or modern day women with capital ‘S’ Standards.

But God, he’s unprepared for the onslaught of ghosts in the hospital. They have to walk past A&E to get to the main entrance, and he sees people in hospital gowns and surgical scrubs, ephemeral strangers in ghostly wheelchairs. The ones that gut him the most are the three kids playing in the little garden attached to a paediatric ward, sheltered in a courtyard within the hospital grounds. He’s only been like this for a year. How’s he going to cope if he keeps going on? If he’s still a psychopomp in a hundred years? In a time without Henry?"

THIS WAS excruciating. Thank you for tagging me, though! Let's tag... @jazzerdoc, @mariusperkins, and @rhymingteelookatme.

[kehideni]

For months now, the dominating emotion for me has been rage.

I made 2 text posts about it and i deleted both before posting, but this third one i'm keeping.

My sanity has been dependent on a fkin fictional monkey and while that may be funny to you, for me it is not yet that. Maybe one day i will look back and feel it's cringe but hey... hold onto whatever helps, right?

But since no one reads these text posts i think i can feel free to... spill the chamberpot, as we hungarians say.

So what has been going on in my life.

Well, i changed workplaces finally, (as in 2 months from now i will no longer work here in gynecology) but i never told anyone why. (At least not here)

Thing is, a lot of things are adding up but the deciding factor is a "new" doctor that's been working here for half a year now.

This Dr, we are going to refer to as Butcher.

Butcher anno started here in my home city, the then Prof. kicked him out because even back then he was a shitty Dr.

The Butcher left for Budapest and has been working there for pay-hospitals (clinics are the free hospitals you go into with free-healthcare, hospitals are the places where the patient pays for the healthcare) Bucher has been forbidden from operating in these hospitals, i can only guess why.

Come the end of 2023 and our clinic gets a new Prof. from Budapest, and this Prof is a fkin retard idiot, and is also a biiiig friend of Butcher, and brought him back with himself.

Since he's been working here, whatever operation he is in something happens. Infections, wound healing disorder, the operations take far longer than they should, he touches organs that have absolutely zero to do with the operation he agrees upon on paper... i could go on. Patients that so far at worst were here for 3 days are now here for months, literal months.

That is not fine at all but something we could handle, but now he took up another kind of operation.

This operation is big as it is, but of course he makes them longer and guess what, so far 3 out of 3 he bled the patients out to varying degree.

The first two got their vena iliaca cut! CLEAN cut, the second one clinically died for a few seconds even! This third he did today was almost bled out, even if he didn't cut the main vena. He already killed off one patient that died in my shift!! Ffs, the woman was HEAVILY contraindicated! She was old, overweight, had several heart problems, had diabetes, thyroid disease(i don't remember if it was hyper or hypothyreosis) and who knows what else, and everyone told him (yes, even us nurses) that she should not be operated on, and yet he did.

You might be naive and think "we're just human, we make mistakes". THIS MANY? ONE AFTER THE OTHER? THE SAME FKIN MISTAKES ONE AFTER THE OTHER? WITH SEVERAL OPERATION? HE IS FORBIDDEN FROM SEVERAL HOSPITALS ALREADY WTF?! WHAT the ACTUAL FUCK is he doing here?!

And i'm not the only one mad, the whole building is but guess what, he is protected by the Prof., and he is narcisstic. Like Dr. Death in the USA he surrounds himself with fans i don't even know how he got...

He also edits his surgical descriptions so he looks innocent on paper. I can't even report him to anyone because i don't have proof like this. He got friends on high places anyway.

Goddamn corrupt clinic.

And we got other clinics asking too btw... we had several places ask us wtf is going on here.

But no one is doing anything... i flat out told one of his patients that she should report him to the authorities but she just came back to Butcher to a second operation and guess what... she ended up in the ICU as well. Idiot.

I turned several of his patients back and told them to look for another doctor, with more success than not but... i'm tired...

I can't do anything about him, but i refuse to work with/for a FUCKING MURDERER.

I've been coming to work with untold rage ever since and i can't wait for September.

I'm this close to just flat out, out his name to the world but it'd just endanger me because i can be reached after, but he can't....

When i say i want to kill him i'm not kidding.

So yeah... i'm stressed, and angry, and impatient.

[creamyychann]

I love you!

Karamatsu x Daughter! Reader

Requested by AnimeGirll88 on Wattpad

◖☆Don't like this kind of post? Follow this direction!☆◗ 　

Tags/Warnings:

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, INCEST, Parent/Child Incest, Father-Daughter Relationship, Bullying, Age Difference, Older Man/Younger Woman, Comfort Sex, Comfort, Minor Character Death, Licking, Fingerfucking, Rough Sex, Womb fucking, Spanking

Pairings:

Daughter reader (18)

Father Karamatsu

Note: Not proof read! This is my first fic from around 2019. I'm bad at making header, pls forgive me

Minors DNI

Don't like it? DON'T READ IT!

You've been warned.

Read at your own risk.

I sigh heavely, as I walked to my highschool looking down at my feet. I could feel stares, giggle & whispers around me. I'm used with this so I don't mind much about it.

◠

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But today is different

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I don't know why, the bullies has gotten worse, not just insulting me, beat me up or steal and hid my stuff. Now they like to threaten me to do such things wishing that I would go in to trouble but thankfully not, but because of that they got mad at me and in the end of the day they 'll start beating me up.

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But not just punching & kicking, now they stomped on my body and my head, pulling my hair that I think it almost bleed and keep insults me with hurtful things

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"YOU CUNT"

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"SUCH A SLUT"

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"YOU WORTH NOTHING"

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"USELESS BITCH"

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"YOU GOT NO FRIENDS"

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"JUST BECAUSE YOU DOESN'T GET IN TROUBLE DOESN'T MEANT YOU'RE SMART, ASSHOLE"

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I keep silent, just accepting, shutting my eyes hoping it's all gonna be finished soon. Then they said something makes my heart ache

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"NOBODY LOVES YOU"

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"YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF"

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I just stay there, silently sobbing, waiting till all stopped. Once it stopped I tried to stand up trying so hard not to fall, walking slowly to my class to pick up my things and went home sobbing silently trying not stumbling while walking my way to home.

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"Ah! Welcome home hon--" I didn't let my father finished I just go straight to my room and sobbing into my arm.

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My father is Karamatsu Matsuno, he's the second oldest in the Matsuno brothers. He's in his late thirties. He's a single dad since my mother died on a car crash when I was 3 years old. Since then, he always take cares of me and helped me with everything. But I sometime caught my dad looking at me in a weird way but I just shrugged it off.

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Aside from that, as I sobs I heard my room's door open.

◠

"Honey? Are you alright?" My father walked to my room, I just continue sobbing ignoring my father's question. "OMG! Y/n why are you crying, is something bad happens in school? Did someone did something to you?" He asked as he stroked my head and shoulders trying to calm me down. As I calmed down my father asked again "what's wrong? Is something happen on school?" I stayed silent for a second and shook my head then asked "Daddy?" "Yeah?" I try not to stutter but failed "D-Do you ever l-love me? " I said trying so hard not to cry at the moment, then my father jolted " Of course I love you honey! You're the most precious and beautiful thing in the world!" He said with worried but slightly angry tone, now I gave up, I cry & sobs softly " But... I-if you do love me... T-then w-why people keep saying that no one loves me? Am I that worthless? Do you see me useless, daddy?" I said now sobbing hard and looking at my dad with red face & some bruises in my face and my hair is such a mess.

◠

My father then grab me in the shoulder makes me face him " I love you so much y/n! You aren't worthless! You always helped me when I can't do something! People who called you that is just a garbage who can't see such a beauty like you!" My father says while caressing my head lovingly. "Now, take a shower & come to my room, I want to talk to you of something" My father says in soft tone yet in the middle of his sentence his voice became pretty husky.

◠

"Yes, Daddy..." He smiled, nodded and walked out my room and left the door open so I can take a shower and so I did.

◠

After around 10 minutes I came out of the bathroom and saw my father across the room outside of his room, he sees me and blushes because I was only on my towels warped around my busty chest (if you're not just pretend you are (〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)) I shrugged it off, but little did I know, my father pants tightened.

◠

I enter my room and put my clothes on, simple shirt & pretty short skirt. I didn't bother to wear any bra because it was night time. I walked out my room and go to my father's room and it seems my father has entered his room, 'I wonder what's daddy want to talk about' I thought...

◠

"Daddy! " I knocked his room "Come in hun!" He said, I open his room and blushed as I walked inside and saw my own father not wearing anything but long pants that the zippers aren't zipped and his masculine body exposed infront of me. "Ah y/n...please sit down next to me... " He says in a husky voice. I stood there, face red because the sight in front of me but I still walked to him and sit next to him. I sat there in silence as my father looks at me intensely. "y/n..." "Y-yes daddy?" He pulled me close to him and now my head is in his chest as his chin resting on my head. "Y/n... You are the most beautiful thing in the world, when your mother got into a car crash I cried & got very depressed knowing the love of my life has passed away... But now seeing you grow up and became very beautiful woman i have ever seen... You have replaced your mother's place inside of my heart... Now will you be Karamatsu's girl please? " After those sentences, Dad put his hands on my shoulder and makes him look at me with so much love and hope in his face. I kept silence 'd-did my own dad just says that he loved me in romantic way?!!' I thought as I looked at his eyes, shocked as he confessed his loved to me. I just keep silence tries to proses how to answer my father. As I keep silence my father strokes my head softly lovingly, looking at my eyes intensely with love. "Daddy... " I say try not to stutter as my face redden. "Yes? " He say, wanting to know the answer to his confession. "I-I want to be y-your Karamatsu's girl! " I say while closing my eyes looking away from his face so he can't see my flustered face. I open my eyes I saw blush across my father's face and he had a wide smile on his face.

◠

"Oh yeah, y/n" My father says in husky voice, "ye-yes daddy? " "People says nobody loves you right?" He asked I nodded "that's not true, I love you so much more than anything. And I will proof it to you" He says in a very seductive & husky voice. My eyes widened.

Suddenly, my father slam his lips into mine and roughly kisses me. It was very sloppy, I was kinda taken back because it was so sudden & he's MY OWN FATHER and makes out with me. This is so wrong, but... It felt so good... I pull out from the kiss and protest "Dad! This is wrong! You're my own father!" My father was silence for a second then chuckled. He placed his hands on my cheeks, caressing my cheeks softly, "but no one will knows right? " I was stunned but he's right... But this is still wrong! He's my own father, we can't do this! "Y/n... Daddy just want to show you how much he loves his daughter, here feel it" Dad takes my hand and place it on his crotch, 'It's so hard a-and... S-so big!' "Can you feel it? Your father is hard... He just wants to show his beautiful daughter how much he loves her~ " His hand slowly trails to my kitty "AH! Wait Daddy! What are you doing?! " I panicked as his hand reaches my panties rubbing my clit. "Y/n...please, I want to show you my loves... I love you more than anything, I want to proves that there's someone who loves you so much, please, let daddy loves you" My father looks at me while gently pushes me to his bed.

◠

Once my father in top of me, he strokes me and now kisses me all over my face, once he landed the last kiss on my lips he look at me, smiling lovingly. "Okay d-daddy... I'll let you s-show your loves... " I say, very embarrassed while trying to look at my dad in the eye. He smiles in relief and pins my hands aboves me.

Karamatsu slowly leans down to you and start making out with you. It was just like before but sloppier. He stuck out his tongue asking for entrance, you open your mouth, he explore your entire mouth leaving no space untouched. Many salivas leaves you two's mouths, you both kept twirling both tongue together too much that it makes a mess. As you guys pulled away, some salivas still connected with the both of your mouth. Karamatsu pulls off your t-shirts and met your busty naked chest. "No bra? " He asked while smirking, "i-it was late... And I don't usually sleep with bra" You say blushing, Karamatsu just smiled then licked your left nipple "AH! D-DADDY!! " You say in pleasure as he kept sucking & licking your nipple while playing with your other breast. You could clearly hear the slurping sounds Karamatsu make, he then switches to other nipples and do the same thing while playing the other. You just kept moaning & moaning that now your panties were soaked wet because of the pleasure.

◠

As Karamatsu suck your nipple, his other hand slowly made it way to your kitty & rubs its fingers on your clit that covered with soaked cloth, " Eh?~ already so wet? You naughty naughty girl~" Karamatsu coos as he continues sucks your other nipples. You could feel the hardness of him on your thigh, it makes you shivers knowing that your father's giant dick is going to be inside you soon. Karamatsu pulls of your panties & insert 2 fingers & start fingering you, you shot your eyes wide and start moaning louder as he pumps his long big fingers inside you, making scissors motion & kept going deeper because how wet it is. Your moans are so loud that you sure that the neighbors could hear your moans, because of that karamatsu slams his lips into yours to shuts you.

◠

Karamatsu start grinding his clothed dick on your thigh as he add another finger inside you, you kept moaning into his mouth as you near your orgasms. Suddenly he pulled out you started to whine because you were about to cum. "No, not yet. I want you to cum on my dick" Karamatsu says then he pulled down his pants and his giant dick sprung out proudly in front of you. You gasped by how big and long it is & you were so scared that it won't fit inside of you. As if karamatsu could read your mind he say "Don't worry baby, I will be gentle.... At first" He says in soft yet seductive tone.

◠

You gulped as you heard the last sentence but you just nodded and spread your legs shyly. Karamatsu chuckled & spread your legs wider that it makes you squeks. He then slowly put his giant hard dick inside of you, you cries & whimpers because how big it is & how much he stretched you out. "W-wait.. Ah!.. D-daddy.. Wait- aeh! W-wait a second-ngh! " You whimpers as he kept pushing his length into your virgin pussy, " Yeah I know baby-ahh...it must be hurt-mmh.. for your first time.. Ouhh " He says while moaning & grunting because how tight your pussy is.

◠

After 2 minutes, all you feel is now pleasure. "Daddy~ you could m.. Move now! " You say try not to moan because of how good it is. "Ahhh... With pleasure babygirl~" Karamatsu moans as he pulled out then slammed back at you roughly. You screamed by the wave of pleasure your body got by his dick, he kept the phase slow but rough because he knew you are a virgin and doesn't want to hurts you. After thrusting slowly you want more of it "Ah! Aeh! Ah! Daddy~~ ah! Please go faster! " You says to him with a lewd face showing from your face right in front of your own father "ahhh~! Finally~~ ngh! I could go faster! With delight babygirl! " After saying that he pulled out his dick so far and you could feel the only thing left inside of you is his tip then Karamatsu takes a deep breath and the slammed into you in inhuman speed. You jolted & screamed very loud because the sudden pleasure. "Ah! Ah! Daddy! Daddy! Your Dick Feels So Good Ah! Aeh! Uwahh! " You scream as he increases the speed and got even rougher "Augh! Shit! Ahha~~ Right Baby Girl? Isn't Your Father's Dick Is So Good Inside You? Nghh~~~ Do You Want It Even Deeper? You Want It Don't You Baby Girl? ~~~" Karamatsu chants as he keep going deeper as I moans an screamed uncontrollably.

◠

Then you jolted as something else slammed into your womb hard. You screamed like Diva as Karamatsu hits your womb multiple times "Daddy! Daddy! Your Dick! Ahh!! Uwaah!! I-is Ah!! Hitting M-my Kyah! Uwahh! It's Hitting My Womb!! Uwaaahhhh!!!" You screams while making a very lewd face, your eyes are half closed as you look at your father or Karamatsu's eye lustfully & tongue sticking out of your mouth as you moans & screams with many salivas coming out of your mouth. "Nghh!! Ughh! Ahhh! Yes! I Knew It! I've Reached It! Ahhh!! But I Want More!!! " "Aaeeh?!! Ngaah!! W-what Do You Mean By Tha--akkhhhh!!!!" You screams in agony as Karamatsu's dick went past your womb. Now that your face is literally ahegao. The same as Karamatsu, his face was as lewd as you & and he grunts & moans even more loudly.

◠

"Ahhh Daddy!!!! Ahh! Ah!! Your Dick!!! Ahhh!! It's! Nghh!! It's Inside My Womb-ahhhhhh!!! " You screams and screams like there's no tomorrow as Karamatsu or your own father who raised you since you were very young pounds into you in inhuman speed. You were being fucked by your own father, his cock kept slams inside you as you both moans loudly because of the pleasure. It was wrong but felt so good~~ you don't want this moment to be over!!~~

◠

◠

"Daddy!! Ahhh! Daddy!! I'm Going To Cum!!!! Ahh Ahh Ahh!! " I screams as I felt knot form inside of me "Hmm?~~ Oh You're About To--ngh~~ Come, Aeh!..M-my Karamatsu's Girl? Heh? Hhh~~" Karamatsu says in very lewd voice you've ever heard. Suddenly, he turns you around and raise your hips, You moans even more by the pleasure from the new angle as he pounds intensely at your cunt.

◠

◠

*SLAP*

◠

◠

You jolted as you felt burning feelings on your butt, "Ahh~~ Sorry Y/N~~ Your Ass -nghh Looks So Delicious~~ Nghh~ugh! I Just Can't Helped But To Slap It~~~" Karamatsu says as he caresses the spot that he just slapped "Ahh~~ Do It Again Daddy~~ Ah Ah!! Do It Again!! " You mewls as he kept pounding your womb, deep, as if it want to go more further. "Oohh~~ Nghh~~ Is That What's You Wanted Baby Girl? ~~ Then If It Is~~ Nghh I'll Do It" He says as he kept slams his dick into you rapidly. *SLAP* You jolted again as you felt slap on your ass but it just makes you even hornier.

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAP*

◠

*SLAPP!!!*

◠

◠

Your ass is now burning because the slaps that Karamatsu gaves you, but it felt so good so you didn't care about the pain~~ "Ahhh!!! Y/N!! I'm Cumming!!Your Father Is Cummimg!! Ahhh!!!" "Ahhh!!! Me-- Ahh! Me Too Daddy~!!! Please Come Inside!! Fill Me To The Brim!! Ahh!!!" You both screams & moans loudly as you two near to cum. "Ahhh Daddy! Daddy!! I Love You!! " "I Love You Too Y/N!!" You both kissed as you two cums.

◠

You both still kissing as your womb get filled so much that it leaked out off your pussy and make a puddle in the bed sheets. As you both calmed down from cumming, you both pulled away and stared at each other smiling & lovingly... "I love you so much y/n" "I love you too daddy ♡"

◠

After all of that, you both cuddling lovingly & drift off sleeping..

A request from my old incest book called "My unholy pleasure (lemon) " on Wattpad. It keeps getting deleted till I got fed up. So, if anyone want incest anime/game stories, you can come here.

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on Surrender, Ch. 1-2

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

It’s been FOREVER since the last time I wrote one of these posts, but today I felt I had to. I just finished the first two chapters of Surrender and I have a lot of opinions, thoughts, feelings and questions that I need to put in order. There will be spoilers, so it’s up to you to keep reading if you haven’t played the chapters or if you're not VIP (no hard feelings!).

Before I start, I need to clarify a few things I think may have some influence in my opinion, so please take them into account:

1. I consider myself an asexual person (however, I'm not sex repulsed and I have no issues playing 30 diamonds scenes in Choices or with adult content in general, in fact, I'm very open minded!).

2. I have never watched or read the Fifty Shades trilogy (I have nothing against it, it's just that it has never caught my attention), so I have no idea about the similarities between the Surrender characters and Christian/Anastasia’s relationship.

Finally, please note that the text below the cut includes adult content, so by reading it you agree that you’re at least 18 years old.

I try to never judge a book before reading at least a couple of chapters because Choices writers tend to take their time when it comes to develop a story (or at least they did in the past). However, since the premise of Surrender was released, I had this weird gut feeling that something was not going to be okay. And nope, it wasn’t because of the BDSM concept and the fact that the book is based on the Fifty Shades trilogy (that was, in fact, destroyed by people who are into BDSM), but because the plot as a whole seemed a bit contradictory, to say the least. The idea of getting divorced because the MC’s husband had a dominatrix, only to discover that the MC herself may be into BDSM after meeting her divorce lawyer seemed… I don’t know… weird? messy? For some reason, it made no sense to me. And it only took me a few minutes to realize I wasn’t that wrong.

First of all, our MC (her default name is Isabel) not only catches her husband with a dominatrix, but she also had no idea that he was into BDSM until that moment. At first, I thought “dude, it’s not like you’re just dating her and you don’t trust her enough to tell her your darkest secret… she is your wife!”. And then I realized “how is it possible that Isabel never noticed anything wrong with him? I mean… not even a bruise? when was the last time she saw her husband naked?”. The communication and trust in that relationship was a disaster. They were going to divorce no matter what.

Immediately after this, the story jumps straight to the moment when we meet the only LI in this book: our divorce lawyer (I went with a guy; his default name is Reagan). And here is where I began to have more and more questions and to feel more and more confused and uncomfortable.

When Isabel meets Reagan, she is experiencing very different feelings: on one hand, she is mad, she has been betrayed and she is still in shock because of what she saw. On the other hand, not only she feels curiosity about BDSM (and she’s trying to figure out why she feels this way), but she also feels free and confused because of her new life as a divorced woman. So yeah, you can tell the MC is at an absolute vulnerable state!

Knowing that the girl was a mess, I don’t think Reagan’s reaction was the most appropriate. As soon as Isabel showed him some handcuffs as a proof of her husband’s betrayal, I began to feel that he was not only being extremely unprofessional, but also completely out of line. Why would he try to subtly seduce her and convince her to become his sub? Why would he even suggest the idea of her being into BDSM? You have just met the girl! She is your new client! She is getting divorced! You know she is all over the place! It was your first appointment! You should have asked why they were getting divorced and that was it! But by the end of their first meeting, he was already giving her orders. If you ask me, I think things are going way too fast for two people who only have a professional relationship with zero trust and zero chemistry on a personal level.

Unfortunately, there are no choices to “escape” or to try to make things go slower, and if you’re a sucker for slow burns as I am, this may kill your mood. Because no matter what you choose, every option will be sub/dom focused depending on if you’re playing as Reagan or as Isabel. The only thing you can control is how “strong” they are as dom/sub. You can’t run away from the different situations and even when Reagan promises Isabel they won’t do anything she doesn’t agree to, you still have no chance to simply say “no” if you don’t want to do some of the tasks that Reagan orders you to do. As a sub, Isabel will always agree, and as a dom, Reagan will always give orders.

To be honest, I don’t know if this book will be for me, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish this story, not even as a diamond farming adventure. I had never felt this uncomfortable when playing Choices books before. The Nanny Affair had some effect on me, but I only had to avoid certain scenes or choices and I was fine, I could perfectly play the book. However, there is no escape in Surrender. The fact that I can’t make my own choices and that I can’t control absolutely nothing in the story is a little frustrating, to the point that I feel as trapped by the narrative as my Isabel feels trapped by Reagan. This certainly won’t be a book for every player.

[sweepingtree]

i'm sorry but how on earth does random splashes of colours or pieces of paper and what not equate to antifascism? its very clear to me that you are one of those people who think that only artworks made by rich white m*n are important because they have "meaning", whatever that is supposed to mean in the first place. it's people like you who discourage artworks that are made with love and many hours of the artists' time. for pete's sake i've seen you complaining about hyperrealistic paintings

ok first of all, this is all googleable information, and it's not just me stating a personal opinion so idk why you're being so mad but OK LOOK, the whole idea of modernism is basically the progress of humanity, and the whole idea of the "new", instead of doing things that have always been done. It's a bit more complex than that but I'm not going to go into it. Modernism in art, specifically, is a movement that really blew up around after WWI, and expanded even more post WWII. Many of the artists/writers/designers that are associated with Modern art now were refugees of the war back then, and were critics of the fascist ideologies that the warmongers represented. The 'traditional' ideal of western art - realism, romanticism, etc - THOSE kinds of artworks have been put up on pedestals by ultranationalists as a kind of 'proof' of white superiority. You even see such behaviour online nowadays where some rando will post a picture of a sculpture of some woman or something and go this is western heritage blah blah blah.

Now I'm not saying that all modern artists are progressives and anti-fascist, but the entire movement really did very much stem from just that: a kind of rebellion against what was considered traditional, or a kind of nihilist outlook, kind of like "the world sucks people suck nothing matters i'm just going to do absurd art as a reflection of how absurd this society is". (I have to say at this point that this is specifically about WESTERN art. Modern art movements in other parts of the world evolved somewhat differently)

As for my criticism of hyperrealistic art in the past, I do fully claim it. I don't dislike hyperrealistic works, but I dislike the way people worship it as the 'best' kind of artwork. You see a lot of this on those clickbait-types of social media accounts where they'll caption it as "wow this is what true art is" and all that shit and I just can't stand it because again, it's discounting the kind of work and the kind of intellectual labour (research, experimentation, fieldwork, reading, writing) that goes into other forms of art that some people who are not art-trained are so fond of dissing.

Also, I'm an art educator. The number of times I've heard my students dismiss their own art as lousy or not good enough simply because they cannot achieve realism is exhausting! The whole reason why all kids love art and then they eventually lose interest in it is because of our whole obsession with 'beauty' and realism in art. At a young age, art is fun for them because it's about colours and playing with materials. As they grow older, some of their peers will have parents who send them to classes to draw better (ie. more realistically) and they learn to compare themselves with others. This traditional way of looking at aesthetics is something that I have criticised and will continue to criticise because it is an actively harmful way of thinking.

[trutimeline]

idislikecispeople, The Most Infamous Dyscourse Blogger: Part 1.0, Rumors

idislikecispeople, also known as many names throughout her time on Tumblr (such as Adele, Kat, Mami, Samantha and Sayaka), was a former Tumblr blogger who became infamous for coining the term "tucute", among many other controversial things she has posted on her blogs. This was supposed to be one, very long masterpost about her, but Tumblr's post editor is a bitch and won't let me do that.

In this post, I'll be debunking or confirming rumors commonly spread about idislikecispeople. The rest of my posts about her will each be dedicated to a specific controversial belief she held or situations she got into. For simplicity's sake, I'll be referring to idislikecispeople as Kat for the rest of this post and future ones.

Rumors

Kat Coined the Terms "Truscum" and "Tucute"

Verdict: Partially True

Kat coined the term tucute, but she did not coin the terms truscum or transmedicalist.

Here's a screenshot of Kat's original definition of a tucute:

Transcript:

What is Tucute?

What does tucute mean?

Tucute is basically just the opposite of truscum, it’s a term and community for trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis individuals created to separate anti-truscum from truscum and to serve as a safe place from truscum and from cis people, where they believe that being trans requires dysphoria, we do not,where they think that being trans is a medical condition, we do not,and where they deny numerous gender identities on the basis that it “discredits the trans community” we do not.

What are the prerequisites to be a part of the tucute community?

You have to be trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis in general

You have to accept all pronouns and gender identities

You haveto believe that dysphoria is not necessary to be trans

You have to dislike truscum

You cannot side with truscum or believe in their ideology

You cannot misgender anyone no matter how mad they make you

You cannot be an ableist whatsoever

Did you invent the tucute community? Why?

I indeed did coin the tucute term and community and anyone who says otherwise are creeps who are trying to steal it from me and redefine it for their own nefarious doings. I started this community so anti-truscum could separate themselves from truscum and cis people who are a part of the truscum community, it serves as a safe space from both truscum and cis people.

I’m cis, can I be tucute if I believe in your movement and want to help?

No, you can’t be tucute if you’re cis, you can only be a tucute ally, and you need to be sure to never speak for or over a trans person.

I see a lot of tucuties being just as harmful as truscum, what will you do about it?

There isn’t much I can do to them other than ask them to stop aligning with the tucute community, and of course, that doesn’t mean they will. Also be noted that truscum and cis people will pretend to be tucute just to tarnish the name of the tucute community, so tread lightly, you might be talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Spread the word, use the tag #tucute and join the army today!

[A digital drawing of Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica in her magical girl form, with a banner underneath her reading "Tucute 4 U!"]

(source) (source)

Kat Was a Cisgender Woman Who Lied About Being a Transgender Woman

Verdict: False

This rumor primarily comes from a post on Kat's oldest known Tumblr blog, chromaghost, where she claims that she wasn't MTF and only tagged a selfie as such because she thought that transgender people were "cool".

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: are you a mtf? i seen it tagged on one of your photos.

No lol. I wanted to post it to the tag because transgender people are cool :3

(source) (source) (source)

However, Kat addressed this post and made it clear she very much was a transgender woman multiple times on her later blogs. This claim can also be confirmed with nude photos Kat posted online, which I don't feel comfortable spreading, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. I also don't feel comfortable directly encouraging you to go and dig up those nudes, as most of her nude photos were either taken when she was a minor, spread without her consent and/or were uploaded because people pressured her into posting nudes to "prove" she was a transgender woman.

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: you bound with ace bandage in one of your selfies. i don't know what to think about you anymore. according to some people you're a 27 year old cis woman scamming us, but you say you're a 22 year old trans woman. i want to trust you but i don't know if i can. i'm sorry.

Rest assured I’m not 27 years old lol. What you’re referring to is a less than graceful ~art piece~ we did (”Playing a Boy” or something) on deviantART when we were 16/17 (?) and really ill-informed. I ask you to not take that as how I stand currently – as I have learned so much more since, and I have a penis and I was designated male at birth because of it (feel free to purchase a passcode to our nsfw blog to see for yourself). At the time we were developing breast tissue but still had to appear as a ‘boy.’ Don’t bind with Ace bandages, kids, it can damage your rib cage, something we didn’t know at the time.

(source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of two prescriptions, estradiol and spironolactone, both prescribed to Adele Sheffield.]

grandtran still gonna think I photoshopped it or what

(source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: In other words, you aren't gonna cough up the pics because you know you can't fake that shit because you're actually cis. Cool. BTW why do you keep changing your story about the blog, and if the blog was run by you when you were in denial about being trans because of self hate, why were the pics tagged mtf and you were constantly saying trans people were cool?

Yeah I’m not gonna do something for y’all and get nothing in return except more doubt from you, you see how one sided that kind of request is? Also its technically considered sexual harassment, just because its on the internet, you’re a coward (whats your username btw?), and you think I’m cis and you want me to prove time and time again to you that I’m dmab doesn’t justify sexually soliciting someone when they’re not comfortable in being solicited – for free no less.

At first I genuinely had no memory of that blog, it was only active for all of 2 months and for some reason I moved onto a new email and new tumblr, and I haven’t the foggiest why. As for the whole “me claiming to not be ~mtf~” I don’t have any memories from that time, I can only assume it was a lot of dysphoria fueled self-hatred and wanting to be seen/pass as a cis girl lesbian.

If you’re really gonna solicit nudes from a trans woman (a second time) as they do sex work to try and stay on their feet without offering anything in return just so your transmisogynistic ass can get off to trying to tell me my dick is fake isn’t classy at all. I perish the thought of what you’re parents would think of this behavior from you. But yeah, feel free to send some money to my paypal so I can get the gender markers on my records changed because that’s gonna cost a lot apparently, and I’ll definitely send you the dick pics you want. :)

(source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of a a hospital bracelet on Kat's wrist. The patient's name is Adele Sheffield and her sex is labeled as "M".]

(source)

Kat Lied About Having Diabetes To Get Money From Tumblr Users

Verdict: False

This doesn't need much commentary from me, just view the screenshots below.

Transcript:

To the people who keep harping on me buying a $15 video game for my mental health 7 MONTHS ago “with my donation money,” well, here you go, some proof, links and screenshots provided

So for everyone spreading misinformation about me spending $15 on a video game for my mental health, here’s a full list of reasons why there is no way, shape, or form I spent my paypal money on it:

Yes, I spent $15 of my own money after selling one of my possessions, not denying it:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she shows off a copy of Fall Out: New Vegas, marked with a price of $14.99. The date of the post is marked as July 21, 2014 at 06:28.39 PM.]

Be sure to look at the date, July 21st, 2014 6:28 PM. Now lets look at my first donation post asking for help:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she asks for donations to be able to afford insulin because she has no insurance. The date of the post is marked as July 20, 2014 at 08:14.00 PM.]

Hmm, one day before the purchase of said game, July 20th 2014 at 8:14 PM. Now, I’ve never heard of a video game store — much less a non-chain video game store accepting payment for video games in the form of virtual Amazon gift cards, have you? Oh, but you’re gonna say, “well you bought the game with your paypal donations anyway!” Well, here’s exhibit C:

[Another screenshot of a separate post made by Kat where she is also asking for donations to be able to afford insulin. The date of the post is marked as July 23, 2014 at 12:27.46 PM.]

Again, looking at the date of this posting which is the original donations post, you can see it was posted on July 23rd, 2014 at 12:27 PM, a full 2 days after I had bought the game. Now, if there’s no way for me to use Amazon gift cards for a real life video game store, then how can I go back in time a minimum of 2 full days to give past me $15 to buy said game, hm? This isn’t even accounting for the fact that I didn’t even have my own bank account associated with it until over a week later, and it surely doesn’t account for the fact that it takes up to 5 days to transfer from paypal to your bank account. All the dates are linked to the original unedited posts so you can see for yourself, and for added measure my first deposit was on August 14th, 2014:

[A screenshot of a deposit made by Kat. The date is marked as 08/14/14.]

Oh but yeah, anti-sjs, truscum, and the like took damniwishidthoughtofabettername’s postthey used to gaslight us with misinformation and you all bought it. Tell me how I could misuse donations that I could not use outside of Amazon and money I didn’t even start receiving until a full two days later, let alone the fact that there’s no way I could have transferred said money and used it two days prior as of the date of the paypal donations post.

I hope some of y’all could reblog this and get the word out, I’m sick and tired of people buying into that misinformation that person did solely to gaslight me as a means to try and disrupt my donations drive.

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A selfie of Kat holding up a vial of Novolin to the camera.]

Hey anon, I don’t feel comfy giving you my receipts (because doxxing is a thing) but here you go, a selfie with my most recent insulin purchase. 👽

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: Getting desperate for money again I see. How is your fake diabetes lately. I bet your blood sugar is like 800 this time and you're still able to be alive somehow.

You got me, I’m ~totally faking~

[A selfie of Kat. In the background several items used by diabetics are seen such as insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.]

[A picture that gives us a closer look at the background of the previous selfie.]

[A selfie of Kat holding up two vials, one of Lantus and the other of Humalog.]

Gee, must be one dedicated faker, right? To have hundreds of dollars of insulin equipment and insulin itself. Hmmm… Insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.. oh and insulin, hmmmm….

Oh and because you didn’t learn from last time you don’t die instantly when your blood sugar goes over 600 lol, something anyone who studies endocrinology can tell you, and I would know, being a diabetic, having to be hospitalized numerous times for ketoacidosis where the blood sugar has been too high for too long. Things you clearly do not know and you’re just jumping on the disableist bandwagon. I have an idea of who you are anyway, just doing this for future reference.

(source)

[bciwasinlove]

Hi. I have not been on twitter or even in the fandom long enough so i came here to ask you about something. What's with the song claiming thing? Suddenly ziams are claiming songs that have been claimed as larry song. No I'm not gate keeping. Pardon my word choice.I'm not English. But I'm just curious. As long as i have been in this fandom, no control was a larry song the moment it came out and everyone was ok with it and even ziams never claimed it before.now suddenly they are like oh liam also wrote it? Home has always been larry song considering the timeline, him leaking and all, ziams never claimed it before, now suddenly home is a ziam song too? 18 was taken as a larry song from the moment ed said it was written from 1D perspective and everyone was ok with it considering how Louis used to literally serenade Harry like turning his whole body,changing pronouns etc. No one had a problem untill now. Suddenly in 2020/21 ziams are claiming it. Why didn’t they do it before? Why now? I'm just curious.

Warning selfies have been a thing with Louis for years. Now suddenly it is linked with liam too? How? Did he do it before or something? I genuinely don't know. So let me know plz.

The whole devlin thing, devlin album came out in 2017 i guess and they comparing Louis tweet with zayn tweeting that is from 2016. How does that make sense?

Also some people say larry closeting didn’t work but ziam did...awful thing to say. If it didn’t work then there wouldn’t be so many antis and they are still going through so much. People wouldn’t believe Harry dates every woman that breaths around him. And they claim there are two bbg in ziam relationship right? Why did they need two bbg if it worked? I mean if the closeting worked? Bbg has nothing to do with relationships.

Idk if ziam was real or not but I'm sure gigi was pregnant, she had that symptoms, pregnancy glow,tired face and all. Now whoever the father may be..idk.

I'm not convinced about ziam and how does that make me hypocrite? Also there are some "if this counts(larry),this counts too(ziam)" thread. what's with the comparison?

Sorry about the rant.

Hello anon wow this is long a lot to unpack so I'll start with your song questions.

Idk why ziammies are suddenly trying to claim songs that have ALWAYS been larry related. Especially when Liam said in an interview that Louis and him were a song writing duo for 1D BUT that he wrote the melodies and it was Louis who wrote the song lyrics. Last I checked melodies don't equal meaning of a song so how are these songs about ziam?

Some examples of this....

They are trying to claim Home but Liam said the song was personal to Louis and how when he read the lyrics he didn't want to change them. Home is also a direct response to If I Could Fly with ONLY Harry on the credits. Home was leaked by Louis the night of Belfest when Larry found out BG was being taken pasted the birth of a kid and it pissed off Louis so he leaked Home as payback bc it was clearly a loud song management didn't want on the album.

They are trying to claim 18 but the song was written by Ed who said [compared to other 1D songs he wrote for them] he wrote 18 with a 1D member in mind. [That is why we claim the song at all.] Ed was closeted in the band to Harry next being Louis and Niall he was the least closeted to Zayn and Liam. Side note Ed has a song called Friends that he said was about 2 friends of his who fell in love and when a fan yelled L&H he laughed/smirked and said init so it makes the most sense 18 was written with Harry in mind. Plus 18 is about meeting/loving someone sense they were 18 and it was only Louis who was 18 when they all met and it was Harry who would scream NO 16 when singing the song. Also larry changed the lyrics to HIM and would stare directly at each other when singing 18 livem According to ziam MPs ziam weren't a couple until at least 2 years into the band so why would 18 make sense for them also given they were both 17 when they met & none ever went NO 17 when singing it.

They are trying to claim No Control but that song as we know is about the morning after sex and the second round they end up having. Like stated before Louis wrote the lyrics to 1D songs and Niall plus Larry always made it DAMN CLEAR what that song was about. Also remember when Harry would always jam out hard core when Louis would sing his part in No Control aka majority of the song. Yeah that song is Louis song no doubt.

They try to claim Alive which makes no sense bc Zayn nor Liam is on the credits at all only Louis. They say it's bc Liam said he related to the song ok I see that but still he didn't write it and still how does this song equate to ziam? Alive is more a song used as proof Louis isn't straight bc it's about self exceptance of who you are even tho others around you for along time made u feel there is something wrong with you. It's about Louis who is more confident part way through the story being told and then helping his lover [who seems to be a bit insecure about themselves] except and love who they are. Since Liam didn't write on it the relationship aspect couldn't be about him and Zayn. Since he said he just relates to Alive at BEST it could mean he might not be straight but it can't be used as proof of who his partner is when he didn't write on it.

There's others but I think you get the point they have always been larry or hinting at Louis sexuality songs so I don't get why or how they are suddenly saying their ziam songs? Myself @lovemylarents and @fearlessmoon09 think bored people in quarantine is what happened to change the landscape.

To your next question warning selfies...

So warning selfies was something Louis did everytime something BG stunt related was going to happen. He started it and did it a ton back in 2016/17 when BG stunting was massive for him. Liam never had anything to do with warning selfies and Louis warning selfies were ALWAYS like I said BG related so suddenly ziammies going Liam does warning selfies for things involving Maya or Gigi makes no sense. It was ALWAYS a Louis thing.

For the Devlin thing...

You hit the nail on the coffin with that one the album with the song Cold Blooded that had the lyrics "so is it true XXXX fathered a baby? I don't really think so, if you ask me he don't like ladies. Could have been HARRY, yeah, I bet it was HARRY" [emphasis on Harry bc I saw a ziammie change the lyrics to Liam] came out in 2017 while Zayns tweet was done in 2016. Unlike Louis tweet which was specifically about this album not just the artist and tweeted during the height of BG stunting. So not the best comparison. They really should fact check before making these "larries are hypocrites" threads bc veteran larries know and fact check everything.

Next thing you mentioned what I call their slogan "larries closeting didn't work but ziams did that is why less talk about/believe in ziam then larry" piss me off so much and what you said it right. If larry's closeting didn't work then we wouldn't be here complaing about how the GP sees Harry as a queerbaiting womanizer, how solo henries who want to have sex and suck Harry's dick exist and how some locals don't want to join Louis fandom bc they think Louis and his fans are homophobic or that twarries exist thinking Louis is a deadbeat dad. Tell me again ziammies how their closeting didn't work? It is so invalidating to everything larry has been put through. Also if larry's closeting didn't work but ziams did then why did they need 2 BGs for Ziam and only one for Larry? Myself @kaybutlarry @babyhoney-28 and @onlythebravestan are still waiting on an answer to that question haven't gotten one.

As you said about Gigi yes she definitely looked more pregnant then Briana ever did. The reason I don't believe in their BG with Gigi is bc their story is inconsistenent. Side note back when Liam had a kid no one besides a few on tumblr ever said it was BG 2.0 they didn't start saying BG 2&3 until Gigi happened. Back to inconsistenences so their original story when we first learned Gigi was pregnant was it's fake just like Briana there's no kid, then when Gigi did the livesteam showing she had a bump and a round face you get when pregnant the story changed to she's pregnant the kid is just not Zayn's.

Then I recently saw some who [after the kid was born] went back to the story the kid is fake there is no kid OR they are using a child actor. Unlike Louis BG they don't have a consistent story that makes sense. Also the kids are never shown unlike with Louis kid F gets posted every damn day with creepy and bad photoshop, and a million articles about how he is Louis twin to shove it down our throats the kid is Louis. The situations have NEVER been the same with Louis vs even just Liam kid.

To your last point ziammies keep calling and making threads about how larries are hypocrites bc we don't believe what they do which is damn annoying bc they constantly say just leave us alone why do you care we exist but then constantly make threads like that getting mad we aren't all ziammies. If your going to make threads against us then yeah were going to say something and respond to your threads the way we would to a debunking larry anti thread. Their threads like that are either using funny coincidences of larry that we don't use as concrete proof to compare to ziam OR their ziam version of our proof has been debunked already like the Ziam Levine Stylinson sticker on the bears. [If you want more info on that ask @lovemylarents.]

They constantly take what is a larry proof and say it's also about ziam [Example the songs] or have a ziam proof that mirrors a larry proof. [Example the devlin thing or selfies] In their threads they always compare miniscule larry things that aren't our MAIN proof. See the miniscule proofs are the house and the big proofs are the concrete foundation that without it those miniscule things would not be able to really count as proof of larry and the larry house would fall. Ziammies ONLY have miniscule proof not a very solid foundation so I'm unsure how long their house will last.

I have been in this fandom for 10 years I have seen MANY ships come and go [Examples: Ziam, Ziall and Narry] but the one ship that has always been here was Larry. Larries have been here for 10 years, Larries are the ones who are talked about in the media, Larries are the ones constsntly gaslighted, Larry is the one ship that needs to be denied a bunch [poorly might I add] there's NEVER been any other ship or ship group people have hated, gone against or talked about this much besides Larries/Larry.

Funny [not for us] but funny that Liam goes through all the trouble of gaslighting Larries and talking about EVERY Louis stunt but he never mentioned Ziam which is a ship that actually involves him or the Ziammies who say Bear isn't his kid. Why did he talk about US and not THEM which involve him? Also funny Liam can easily say the word Ziam but Louis can't pronounce an EASY @ just bc it has the word Eroda in it.

My mutrals and I all agreed we didn't give af that ziammies existed until they kept talking shit about how we aren't ziams to and then go why are larries acting like antis hating us. First off it was NEVER larries hating on them it was toxic solo Zsquad and solo Liam stans who were. We didn't get involved until the entire tl was LARRIES ARE HATING US AND BEING HYPOCRITES. Second off and my last thought it's easy if you don't want us in your replies then don't make threads about us being hypocrites and use easily debunked ziam proof or miniscule larry proof to mirror bc we will point it out bc you think were hypocrites thank you.

[whatiwillsay]

hey! i love your blog and i've read the swiftgron masterpost. i'm kinda wondering what songs (you're pretty sure) are about dianna?

(also i think wanegbt is abt di but it's more of taylor poking fun of her and di's on/off rs rather than a "shady" breakup song. i kind of see some parallels between wanegbt and ayhtdws)

oh yessss last time i got this question it ripped the fandom asunder (kidding but you know people disagree w me)

ok let’s start with Red

SINCE I CLEARLY PROVED AND ESTABLISHED THAT SWIFTGRON WAS NOT ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED UNTIL SPRING OF 2012 BECAUSE BOTH LADIES SEEM TO BE INVOLVED WITH OTHER WOMEN UP UNTIL THAT POINT CLICK HERE FOR PROOF OF ALL OF THAT

it’s fair to say none of the breakup songs are about Dianna

state of grace mentions four blue eyes, a fire sign, and is a breakup song so not dianna

red = breakup song = not dianna

we know IKYWT was not about her because breakup song

taylor said treacherous was about the same person as IKYWT so we cannot claim that song (SADLY I WISH WE COULD IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL) All Too Well = written long before dianna was on the scene and a breakup song so not Dianna

22 = well her damn name is in the liner notes so this is the first song we can canonically claim for swiftgron nation yasssss

I almost do = break up = nope

we are never ever getting back together - this one i waver on.  the indie record line is dianna to a T and it is very light-hearted and almost satirical song.  i think it’s possible it was born out of silly tiff the two had, but one issue with claiming this for swiftgron nation is when taylor wrote the song in June the girls had not been separated for an entire month so the “we hadn’t seen each other in a month when you said you needed space line” would be sort of “inaccurate” (ofc it’s music/poetry so you know taylor could easily fudge that detail/use hyperbole in a song but still now that i know the timeline as well as i do i have to note that) - dianna did tweet about that song so perhaps she was claiming it, perhaps she was just celebrating her girl - i’m undecided here y’all tell me who it’s about

 stay stay stay = i’ve heard it was written in 2010 but never seen a receipt.  if it wasn’t then i would claim it. y’all tell me.

the last time = breakup song written just as swiftgron was happily ramping up in spring 2012 = not dianna

holy ground = breakup/reflective song written before swiftgron was together = not dianna (YES i KNOW about the note on the door with the joke they made but i think that’s a coincidence - the song was written before that party)

sad beautiful tragic = nope break up so not dianna

the lucky one = written either right before or right after they got together, supposed to be about joni Mitchell right?  posssssibly inspired a bit by dianna’s experience in Hollywood? but i don’t think so.  this was before she was written out of glee.

everything has changed = YEP swiftgron love ANTHEM.  (i think it was originally written for liz with her Gemini status and green eyes but taylor flipped the lyrics and dianna tweeted that bitch the day red came out it’s HERS)

starlight = about the Kennedys but maybe a hint of the swiftgron early love story hidden in there begin again = swiftgron love anthem!!!  come back... be here = swiftgron love anthem!

the moment i knew = no

girl at home = no

now for 1989

welcome to ny = not dianna but it’s a skip anyway so who cares? it’s a friendship song about appreciating the city and maybe hints of karlie

blank space = nope satirical reflective song

style = yes cam’s fav thankfully is a swiftgron anthem!!! 

out of the woods = i used to think was a song ab bearding with harry but just last night while recording a pod ep i decided no it’s a swiftgron song! listen to it today click here

all you had to do was stay = yep and tbh (aside from babe) that’s as bad as it gets for our girl i personally think.  taylor has dropped some absolute DISS TRACKS about exes and people she has beef with but dianna never got put on blast compared to mad woman, should've said no, dear john, among others

shake it off = nope and skip

i wish you would = yep about dianna driving by her house after they were broken up in fall of 2013

bad blood = i kind of do think this is about katy perry but it’s not about a business dispute idk i don’t know how to exactly explain but it’s a vibe

wildest dreams = song about karlie that she wrote through the lens of just having had a rough breakup with dianna “i can see it ends as it begins” she’s nervous at the start because she’s scared kaylor will end the same way, but in general it’s about karlie tho the hint of a swiftgron breakup is in the air

how you get the girl = yep about dianna (supposedly proposing tho tbh i don’t know if i believe that)

this love = yep about her and dianna reuniting in fall 2012 i know places = so i know supposedly kimby kloss liked a tweet that said it was about karlie (haven’t seen the receipt but whatever) but kaylors gotta pick blue or green eyes.  dianna has green eyes.  taylor starts singing about blue eyes when she gets with karlie, and also taylor writes the line “we are the foxes” i believe she had already written that line or had it planned out when she wore that stupid fox sweater when she was out with harry in nyc because she was planning on people tying that lyric back to that day and tie the song to harry because she’s insane like that:

so if she had already written the line at the time of this hangout the song is about dianna (or you know...harry if you’re into that but if you are why are you on this blog bye)

clean = yes swiftgron breakup anthem

wonderland = i think about kellie pickler

you are in love = about karlie but early drafts supposedly contained the lyric you were in love so maybe originally about looking back on her relationship with dianna but taylor firmly gave it to karlie with that Instagram post

new romantics = just about friends and fun and should have replaced welcome to ny

OTHERS:

babe obviously

and i think you can make differing strengths of arguments for other post 1989 songs but none i would lose sleep over someone telling me it wasn’t dianna

so it goes..., death by a thousand cuts, and the 1 are the ones i think there are the strongest arguments for

also i think lea michele’s songs battlefield and on my way are about her but who asked

also thank you for loving my blog this blog loves you back!

also to be clear i don’t know for sure who any songs are actually about let me make it clear that this is just my best guess and opinion

also the thing ab wonderland being about kellie pickler was a joke it’s obviously the loudest most obnoxious swiftgron song in existence

[savarii]

Happy Birthday for Ningguang

In this special day of Ningguang's bday, I'm making this appreciation post and talk a bit about her.

a/n : ik that this is late but I still want to post this BECAUSE I LOVE NINGGUANG AND NONE CAN STOP ME

Ningguang is...

Ngl my first impression towards her is that she feels like evil sly fox that can betray you any moment but this is very wrong.

Ningguang is just a really smart person that knows what she's doing

To understand her better we need to look back on her life story before she became the Ningguang we know today.

Ningguang didn't come from rich or influential family, in fact she came from poor background. Every bits of mora that she earned is from her own hard work.

"Despite the multitude of affairs she deals with in a day, Ningguang always continues to press on. A rare gem indeed. I'm reminded of the time that she used to walk barefoot from Yaoguang Shoal to the south wharf, trying to sell her wares as she went. Time is cruel to humans."

- Zhongli

With such background, Ningguang's life was not easy. Ningguang's mind is trained to work harder and smarter than everyone else in order to get out of poverty.

She wished to get out of poverty and become wealthy.

This is Ningguang's dream and ambition.

In a business world, one must understand what card their opponent is holding and what kind of strategy to hit checkmate on them all, this is exactly what Ningguang been doing all these times. She's very observant and quick to act on the informations that she gained. With every win from her strike, she gains more and more power and wealthiness. With more of those, she becomes more influential than ever before which is a very good investment for more power.

Ningguang understand the basic of investment very well. That includes her investment on Liyue.

Many people have encountered her in many different ways and everyone described her differently from one another. This proves that Ningguang understand how to give different impressions on different types of people that she met (that's one mad skill over there). Knowing how to present yourself is one of strategy to gain a win in any game, and combined with knowing what your opponent is doing? That's literally checkmate. Ningguang should play business game with Diluc someday lmao. With such ability to understand other people minds and deed, she's also become trained for sharp observation to trust someone, so don't be offended when she doesn't trust people easily because she knows this very well.

Being rich is nice and good but that doesn't change Ningguang's true self. Her dream and ambition are merely to gain as much as she can from her hardwork, never to become someone new. People can slander her for whatever she has done in this world, but that is just her smart work, not who she really is

Ningguang is only doing what she likes but never prioritize herself over another. She understands how to give balance for everything between herself and other people. How to gain as much benefit and agreement but with balanced deal. She never made rash decisions, she always think of them thoroughly, and never based of momentary sentiments.

That's why her constellation is called 'The Balance' :3

She become Tianquan of Qixing not just for her business benefits but also because she wants to bring balance in Liyue.

Did you know? Liyue was used to be filled with sneaky merchants that fraud each other and even trample over other people / common folk. Ningguang was one of the common folk before and ofc she knew that such fraudness is wrong. This could also be the reason why she's working to the top just to change this.

Ever since Ningguang become the Tianquan of Qixing, many regulations over Liyue business and contracts, etc. are changed to scale balance over everyone. That is one super skill of a human there. Even when she already made balanced rule over everyone, some people still break them anyways (like Beidou).

Next thing is about her Jade Chamber. We know that Jade Chamber is built by her own wealth and it's become her home and office site as the Tianquan. But we know that she's willing to sacrifice Jade Chamber when that Vortex god attacked. She did not regret any of this, which proofs that she's not full of herself, she truly cares for Liyue and willing to give her all for the safety of Liyue.

For someone who came from poverty and gained all the wealth people tend to be blinded by all of that but not for Ningguang. She knows how to be humble and down to earth, because she knows that everything that's gained can be lost, and-

That is how investment in life works. Sometimes you gain but sometimes you lose, it's normal. Ningguang knows how to start all over again when she loses everything that she gained. Very strong mental indeed.

Altho idk if she's even alright without emotional support, I wish I can be her emotional support tho-

Ningguang is a great woman if you can see all of these things she'd done.

.

.

more a/n : I literally spent 5 hours for that ms paint drawing with a damn mouse (because I dont have photoshop or a drawing tablet) and this typing, BECAUSE NINGGUANG IS A WOMAN OF HARDWORKING SO ME AS A SIMP SHALL WORK HARD TOO HAHA. and also I am thankful for anyone that's willing to read this all :")

[darkshadow90]

Sorry those two accounts completely misinterpreted your words. I, as a woman whose husband is 17 years her senior, was incredibly offended by what was said about age differences being inherently wrong. We are deeply in love and in a very healthy relationship. We've been together for a decade!

You did nothing wrong. I'm so mad at these two and wish they would just leave the fandom or stop picking fights.

I read that ask and response days ago, nothing stood out as underage at all!

Anyway, I really enjoy your blog. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Sorry you had to go through that!

Hey anon. Thanks for this. I was kind of thrown for a loop when I saw how upset some people were. I mentioned earlier I don’t follow every aspect of the fandom. I enjoy talking to people and am flattered they want to know my opinions on things. There are probably a lot of things in the fandom I’m not aware of. I’m really just happy other people enjoy the movie, and find Arthur to be an interesting character. I like sharing my thoughts on things via meta posts, and expressing my imagination through one shots. I never intended to romanticize bad behavior, actions, or people. I’m glad you didn’t think my ask was harmful.  I think it’s wonderful you have a happy marriage with your husband. Marrying people who are several years older isn’t a bad thing. Just because people can be several years apart in age, it doesn’t always mean that relationship will be unhealthy or toxic, and you’re proof of that. As long as the people involved are adults and are respectful of each other and happy together, that’s all that matters.

Speaking of weird things in the fandom, I got an ask from someone asking me to write an Arthur x underage Bruce Wayne pairing, where Bruce is dominant. I had no idea that was a thing. It made me really uncomfortable. I don’t write NSFW content in general unless it’s requested, and anything that is NSFW is with adult characters only. I don’t write adult characters and underage character pairings in sexual situations. That shit is gross. I don’t care if it’s fiction. It’s putting an adult and child character in a sexual situation, and it’s wrong. It’s not just because of the context and content, it’s also because minors use the Internet and if they come across things like that, they (likely) won’t understand how messed up that dynamic is. And honestly, Bruce was like 10 years old. The idea of him even knowing about BDSM makes me want to puke. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and I’m thrilled you like my blog 🙂❤️

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Oh, I agree. I'm a hopeless romantic like Joe, so I desperately hope they make up. And I read the comic before watching the movie, so I was looking for clues, and they were all there: Andy was grieving and angsting, was envious and sad of Joe and Nicky being happy together, 'cause she used to have that; the Iron Maiden scene; and 'not meant to be alone', but Andy thinks she is meant to be alone. What other relationship with compare to being with someone for a third of your lifetime? (p1)

warning: long long post about anon and i analyzing andy and quynh’s relationship and being emotional

And I might be in the minority, but I prefer movie canon to the comics - the relationships are more organic and fleshed out, and some plot holes smoothed over. What did you think? There is a line, though - 'but the woman I loved does under the water', and I'm hoping to hear it in the sequel. I think that's one of the things that could bring Quynh back from her madness, and her rage. And the fact that Andy is mortal. You can't erase a relationship like theirs. It's incomprehensible. (p2)

Quynh spent most of her life with Andy by her side. I don't think she knows how to exist without her. It would be the same for Nicky and Joe. When you are connected to someone like that, it's impossible to tell where they begin and you end, you are too closely entwined. And yeah, it might take another 500 years or eternity like you said, but they'll get there. (p3)

Also the way Veronica Ngô portrayed her? Can't imagine her playing a villain for too long. And having an overarching villain be an Asian queer woman? Doesn't sit well with me. Let them destroy oppressive systems together. There are more than enough real monsters out there in the world, but a woman with unimaginable trauma. And I wanna see Nile surrounded by two annoying immortal dorks, and a less depressed straight asshole brother (eventually). (p4)

I hope you don't give up and write more of them. I re-read your story probably 5x by now. I believe you walk the line between old and traumatised Quynh really well. I imagine it's difficult to write that dual nature between love and hate, madness and sanity. I don't think she is even fully present most of the time. She desperately needs her family to bring her back, and she needs to heal by someone who knows and understands, and will burn the world to the ground if they try to hurt her. (p5)

Hi! I’m sorry I took so long to answer. I finished reading the comics, I started them again, I watched the movie one more time, I’m not sure why I’m so emotionally invested but I am! Let me tell you, the comics deeply affected me. There’s so much to say!

I’m so happy I read the comics, they add so many layers to the story and I agree with you! In general I liked the movie a bit more. But the comic does make some good points, like Andy not losing her immortality yet. And I loved that she get to have a normal conversation with Quynh, and it wasn’t just fighting, I hope that if there’s a sequel we get to see that because yes! talk about things!

Though I have a few problems with the way the second volume ended. Andy’s greatest fear is being alone and I get that Nile walks away but Joe, Nicky and Booker, without saying a thing? Joe, Nicky and Copley have the proof that Andy has done a lot of good for this worlds and don’t say a thing and leave her alone? I didn’t love that.

But! You are so right about Andy and Quynh being too closely intertwined and too difficult to erase their relationship. Something I’ve been thinking about is their loneliness. No one in the team has known loneliness like those two. Nile was found after a day, Booker after a year i think? Joe and Nicky really always had each other. But Andy spent thousands of years alone, then both her and Quynh another thousand years to find each other, then Quynh 500 years alone in the ocean? You can’t just !!! erase, ignore, break, give up a connection like that.

As for what I hope will happen... it’s complicated, because after the movie I expected Quynh to be angry, mad, thirsty for revenge, sure. I Thought she’d want to destroy Andy and the team for breaking the promise. But after reading the comics it looks like it’s even more than that! She’s angry with the entire world and she’s powerful and she looks so determined to cause suffering. However... after she kissed Andy... that’s some vulnerability right there. Neither of them is a lost cause, I’m sure. I have so much hope for them. And I really doubt the writer, after giving us such a thoughtful and heartfelt story would go and be cruel to these two immortal soulmates. Both Andy and Quynh have a lot to work through, and they fact that they are reunited, that they won’t ever have to be alone again, that they can figure it out together... yeah, I strongly believe that means they can heal together, be happy, be in love, have the happy ending they’s earned.

Oh and a last little thing. I did Not plant to write more about these two but... God they are just such a powerful couple and I’m so emotional and !!! I have to. I’ll admit, and this is the first time I do it because seriously after posting something I never re-read it, but even I have read again that one shot a couple of times because i find it is a very soothing scenario that I can believe in, where they reunite and it’s imperfect but it will be fine.

Thank you so much for writing to me and please feel free to keep the messages going. come off anon if you’d like. I still have so much to say about Andy and Quynh, my favorite immortal girlfriends ❤

[hinshinotsuki]

🖤 Switched 🖤

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"She's gonna stay here for a while." Hange said, answering Armin's question and successfully making everyone scramble back to their seats.

(F/N) noticed that Levi looked at her. She saw that he got annoyed by her presence and clicked his tongue as he walked away to get some food. This made (F/N) really annoyed and depressed at the same time. She did escape from her own, troublesome world, only to see a duplicate of him who clearly had issues with her own counterpart.

Just, what did the other (F/N) do to make him this grumpy?

"Hey, (F/N)." whispered Hange as she sat beside her.

"Welcome back." said (F/N). "How's it going? The experiment?"

"Good, as always." Hange laughed. All of a sudden, she nearly collapsed on the table, arms spread wide and eyes shut tight in exhaustion.

"What happened to you?"

"You don't know how hard it is to make that man come over here."

"What?!"

"So! How was your day?" Hange said, suddenly looking at her with much enthusiasm on her eyes, creeping her out with her very sudden mood change from depressed to excited. "Did you get used to the Scouting Legion life, yet?"

"No." (F/N) answered unapologetically. It was the truth.

"I see you changed your clothes." Hange uttered, a single brow raised in suspicion.

"Yeah, (F/N)'s clothes didn't fit me, at all. They're large."

"Hmm, I'm almost sure you are the same size. Guess you're not."

"I don't understand. How was she larger than me?"

"I'm not really sure. Muscles, I guess? Man, I'm starving!" Hange stood, then stretched her tired arms. "Gotta go grab something to eat. Want to join me?"

"Nah, I'll pass." she answered, having had enough of cold soup and hard bread.

"You should come by my office later." Hange told her. She leaned in closer and whispered to her, "And bring  that cellphone of yours."

"I don't know what you're up to but, yes. I will."

"Good! It's settled then." Hange cheerfully said, then strode away towards the counter, humming to herself happily as she walked, making (F/N) laugh.

"Aww, I think she wants to beat my score on CandyScapes." (F/N) said to herself when she felt someone staring at her all of a sudden. She turned just in time to see Levi staring at her with a strange, unreadable look on his face. And, as he took a sip of his tea in that odd way, she can't help but feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand. He was not taking his eyes off her even though he realized she found out about his strange actions. 

After a few moments of their staring contest, she looked away, feeling defeated after what just happened. She was fully aware that she mustn't be angry with him, because he was just someone's counterpart, and not the person she knew. But, something in him told her that he had more than grudge for her or her counterpart. 

But, what was it? She just couldn't tell exactly what. And as she made her way to Hange's office an hour later, she heard some voices coming from the room. She leaned in closer, careful not to make any noise, and listened in on the conversation.

"You are making a huge mistake, Hange."

"I'm sure I'm not! I told you, we can trust her."

So, they're talking about me, huh?

"She looks suspicious enough. Why would you even let her mingle with the others?"

"I can't keep her in her room forever!"

"What if everyone started suspecting? What if they find out? What would you tell them? That (L/N) got replaced by a counterpart from a different world? I know you are insane, but the whole district would soon find that out if news of that,... lunatic,... ever got out!"

"She's not a lunatic! For your information, Levi, I have proof that she's not one!"

"Oh, is that why you brought me all the way here when we're supposed to be on the lookout for Eren?"

"Exactly! But, not just that! I want you to - "

"Enough of this, Shitty Eyes! I'm disappointed you forgot about our top priorities. And to think you associated with the likes of her. You both should be in the lunatic house."

"I'm not crazy!" (F/N) angrily whispered to herself. As she was about to lean on the door again, it suddenly opened, making her collapse on Levi's hard chest.

Levi was, indeed, angry upon realizing that she was listening in on them and pushed her away from him, making her almost stumble to the ground.

"Levi! Come back here! I have something to show you." Hange called, anger and frustration getting the better of her. She strode towards him, helping (F/N) on her feet on the way, and grabbed his arm.

However, Levi got even angrier as he pulled his limb away from the grasp of the bespectacled woman. "I have enough of this bullshit! I'm going back to the old HQ."

"At this hour, you can't!"

"And why can't I?!"

"Because I asked Moblit to take your horse away! You'll get there by foot!"

"I will if I have to!"

"Grrr, LEVI, YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD!" Hange shrieked then took both Levi and (F/N)'s arms and dragged the two of them towards her messy office. She closed the door and stood in front of it to prevent anyone from getting out.

"Are you stupid? You know I can jump out of the window if I want to." Levi told her sarcastically.

"I'm not jumping anywhere." (F/N) added, feeling as mad as the two people in front of her.

"(F/N), show her your phone." ordered Hange.

"NO!" (F/N) angrily answered, making Hange's eyes wide with shock. Then, she looked at Levi and started pointing at him. "You have enough of this bullshit? Well, then, I have enough of your ignorance!"

Her words made Levi even angrier. His narrow eyes eve widened and his teeth started gritting. "You, brat, how dare you,..."

"Who's the freaking brat here?!" (F/N) raged on, unable to stop her wildly beating heart. She so wanted to lash out at Levi, but she clearly was doing it on the wrong one. "If someone tells you to listen, you listen! If someone tells you to stay, you stay! How can you be this rude and stupid?! You're worse than your own boss! Lunatic, my ass! You are the crazy one here!"

"Alright, (F/N), you can stop now,..." Hange was getting so afraid for (F/N) that she started to get a hold of her before she could further make the Captain beyond angry.

"And if you think that I will you show you my phone, think again, you loser! You rude, arrogant,... BASTARD!"

"NNGGRR!" Levi growled as he held his palm up, ready to slap her. He expected her to cower in fear, but she only offered her right cheek even more. She even went closer to him in blind bravery.

"Oh, yeah?! Try me, mister!" she screamed at him, channeling all of her anger towards him and actually challenging her to slap her. "That's what you're good at, after all. Hurting others! Go on, HURT ME! I DARE YOU!"

But, despite her tirade, Levi couldn't bring himself to hurt her, after all. His eyes suddenly indicated hurt, and as he slowly gained patience, he lowered his hand, unable to say anything. This gave (F/N) a feeling of both victory and regret.

"Well?!" she challenged even further.

Levi did not answer. Instead, he took a few steps away from her and shrugged his head. "It's not worth it." he quietly said with his normal, low voice and made his way towards Hange, pushing her slightly away, opening the door, stepping out of it, and closing it behind him, leaving just the two women inside.

Hange crossed her arms as she looked at (F/N). "Wow. Didn't expect you to give him that kind of verbal beating."

"Well, he deserved it." (F/N) said, pouting as she sat down the dusty sofa, arms also crossed, just like Hange. "And if he thinks he'll win next time? No, no, no. I won't let him."

"You do realize that he's just concerned, right?" Hange chuckled, then sat down next to her.

"No tones of concern there." (F/N) answered. "But, I do feel a bit guilty. It's like, he was used to that kind of treatment."

"From others? Of course, not. He would punch their faces right away."

"So, what gives?"

"I think you remind him of her. Of your counterpart."

(F/N)'s eyes slightly narrowed as she looked sideways at Hange. "Why would you say that? I thought we're different."

"Yes, you are different." Hange told her. "But, that way you defied him? (F/N), to inform you, there is no one in history who tried to defy him the way you just did other than your counterpart here."

"Hold on a second here, this has me thinking all day,..." (F/N) said, then turned to her right to see Hange more clearly. "How did they even break up? Nanaba told me that you knew."

"Well, of course, I know. I'm her friend, after all."

"So, can you please tell me?"

Hange just looked at her with that sad smile on her lips. "I want to tell you, but I think I' am not the right person to tell you that."

"Not even a hint?" (F/N) begged, feeling a bit disappointed.

Hange sighed and stretched on the sofa. "Let's just say that they both have issues. They - "

But, as she was about to give out her hint, a sound came from (F/N)'s pocket.

"What's that?" Hange asked.

"Uhh,..." (F/N) took out the phone on her pocket, brought it to life, and found that she has a new social media notification. "What in the - ?" She unlocked her phone, went directly to the site, and saw, with huge, bewildered eyes, the news that a friend just shared to her.

"I can't read it. What does it say?" Hange asked, having a different way of writing from (F/N).

"I know having a strong data connection here is crazy. But, to receive social media notifications? That's ridiculous! And what did Jean just tagged me? Local Cosplayer Beats Up Thugs On Jinae Street? Hashtag (N/N)IsThisYou? What is going on?"

(F/N) scrolled down, and as they looked at the several photos posted on the social media platform, they can't help but be  totally and utterly confused,...

... for those photos showed a girl wearing the Scouting Legion uniform taking out several men on a dirty street.

"Is that,..." Hange stuttered. And when she realized who the girl was, her eyes widened with confusion. "IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!"

(F/N)'s eyebrows furrowed. There was a video clip, and the moment she clicked on it, all things turned upside down for the two of them.

"Give us your wallet, nerd!"

"How dare you insult me, I'm a Squad Leader!"

The men in the video laughed, but they were interrupted as the "nerd" took one man's arm and twisted it halfway towards the neighboring street, breaking it as easily as tearing  paper. And as the fighting went on, (F/N) turned up the volume to the maximum level and watched as the "nerd" in question single - handedly kung fu'd the thugs.

"Impossible!" (F/N) uttered as she saw the woman in question give out moves that she could not imagine herself doing. And as the crowd went wild with cheers, including the one taking the video, they got a better look at the female who kicked the asses of the perverts on Jinae.

There was no hint of doubt right there: it was none other than the infamous Squad Leader, (F/N) (L/N), herself. Her own counterpart. And, boy, could she kick men's ass!

"We've got to show this to Erwin right now!" Hange insisted.

"That I can agree upon." (F/N) answered, and when the two of them simultaneously opened the door to race towards the Commander's office, they saw Levi standing just outside of the room, eyes wide with shock and confusion.

"The hell was that just now?" he uttered, his low voice more threatening than ever before.

***

🖤🖤🖤

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